#1449 - Bryan Callen

[0] Yeha!

[1] Here we are.

[2] Are you a shooter?

[3] Well, dude, my ears are covered for the second time today.

[4] I'm just going to say that.

[5] And I'm a, ask me that, Dan, ask me if, what did you?

[6] Are you a shooter?

[7] That's funny.

[8] I'm a tactical.

[9] Are you an operator?

[10] I'm a tactical shooter, bro.

[11] I'm a tactical shooter, bro.

[12] So you ever done, we went to Tarant Tactical today and Brian Cowan learned the ins and outs?

[13] Learned how to lean forward.

[14] Had some Navy SEAL instruction as well.

[15] Yeah.

[16] How to hold a pistol correctly.

[17] Yeah.

[18] How'd you feel?

[19] I love it.

[20] Fun, right?

[21] I've been doing it in my head forever.

[22] Oh, in your head.

[23] That doesn't really work, doesn't it?

[24] I've rehearsed killing a gang many times.

[25] A whole gang?

[26] Sure.

[27] Lean in, kick, kick.

[28] And I go like this.

[29] Why don't you shoot them in the knee and rehabilitate them?

[30] Oh, that's such a good idea.

[31] Because they don't have knee targets.

[32] If they had just a bunch of knees.

[33] But they have a little tiny targets on the ground.

[34] Which I don't like, because I'm like, what am I shooting babies?

[35] I was going to say, they're the size of a toddler.

[36] Yeah, that's weird.

[37] I'm like, all right, so I got to kill the toddler.

[38] with one shot.

[39] A kid with a missile.

[40] Yeah, I was pretty accurate with that.

[41] That's kind of sick.

[42] But, yeah, that's a good idea.

[43] I could either waste them or wing them.

[44] I wing them.

[45] And then take them in and teach them the error of their ways.

[46] Yeah.

[47] And at the end, they'll be loyal to you.

[48] I toss them an herbal, an herbal remedy, an herbal rap.

[49] Like Stephen Seagall had in that one movie where he was in a coma for like 10 years.

[50] Yes.

[51] Yes.

[52] And then he was kicking everybody's ass a couple days later.

[53] I don't care everybody says.

[54] That shit was factual.

[55] Well, do you remember that movie?

[56] Very well.

[57] He put in his own.

[58] No, no, no. You're way out of line.

[59] No, above the law is the first movie.

[60] This was deep into his career.

[61] He's in a coma.

[62] He already got...

[63] He already gotten fat by this time.

[64] Oh, he had?

[65] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[66] That's where he ran terribly.

[67] He always runs terribly.

[68] Yeah.

[69] But in the early movies, he was skinny.

[70] And above the law, he was skinny.

[71] But then by the time he got to this other movie where he's in a coma forever, like...

[72] Look, his fingers moving.

[73] He's waking up.

[74] Oh, look.

[75] Awesome beard.

[76] He wasn't too fat.

[77] No. Wasn't too fat.

[78] He looks great.

[79] But he'd already, you know, started to fill in his hair.

[80] And so then he was in a coma forever and then gets out of the coma and starts doing all sorts of Chinese herbs and shit to become a bad.

[81] I'll see, he was pretty skinny back then.

[82] Yeah, he was early in the career.

[83] Yeah, he heals himself.

[84] I would do, I would throw them an herbal wrap and tell them how to wrap and then say, training begins tomorrow and dawn.

[85] And then you wake them up.

[86] Yeah, man, fuck you.

[87] Fuck you.

[88] Fuck you.

[89] And I'd be on horseback for no reason.

[90] Really?

[91] I think so.

[92] Why do you always...

[93] How many bits do you have when you're on a horse?

[94] It's my entire act.

[95] It's my entire act.

[96] I just have this...

[97] There are a couple things I want to do before I die.

[98] One is to toss somebody in herbal wrap and say, training begins tomorrow or be there tomorrow and I want to rehabilitate at risk youth, but they're like 20.

[99] and then I want to rear up on a horse I want to rear up on a horse but I want to appear out of nowhere rear up on a horse and rescue a group of women in the wilderness a group of women in the wilderness what are they in the wilderness for they got lost were they were their plane went down nobody got hurt but it skidded along the glacial link down yeah skidded and they said we can't find them it's impenetrable it's impenetrable and then they go fuck Fuck, fetch, fetch the, fuck, fetch the man panther.

[100] The man panther.

[101] Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's my, you should have a, do you know about this guy, his name is Dick Proneckee, and he was a guy who lived in Alaska by himself in a cabin that he built for decades.

[102] Yeah.

[103] And he moved out there when he's 50 years old.

[104] He got tired of life and just the way.

[105] everything was the fast pace of modern life.

[106] So this guy decided, this guy, amazing videos on YouTube.

[107] This guy built his own house out there in Alaska, fashioned it out of logs.

[108] There's like a video of him doing the whole thing.

[109] Filmed everything.

[110] Filmed all of his interactions with animals.

[111] Birds would come and land on his hand and he would feed them.

[112] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[113] He was you.

[114] He literally is you.

[115] Slitton wood.

[116] Stoic.

[117] by himself and wrote you know me stoic and real solitary yeah and you know real measured with his words of course and uh it's everything you want to be and he would sit and every night he would write and he would write about his experiences and the the deep satisfaction that he got off of living that kind of a life right there's some amazing videos pull up one of the videos so you can watch how this guy's live in his life out there but um you know he would only see people like once or twice a year when they would drop off goods and things that he needed.

[118] But this guy was, you know, he wasn't a spring chicken.

[119] He moved out there when he was in his 50s.

[120] Wow.

[121] Yeah.

[122] And when was this?

[123] I want to say he had to move back with his brother.

[124] I want to say in the early 2000s, somewhere around then.

[125] That looks like 16 millimeter film.

[126] Yeah.

[127] Oh, dude, he lived out there for decades.

[128] Like I said.

[129] Yeah, by himself.

[130] You've got to know your shit.

[131] To be out there by yourself.

[132] Uh -huh.

[133] Well, I think most of it he learned once he got there and he talked about it.

[134] He talked about what the experience was like about just, you know, learning how fatiguing it is to hike.

[135] Oh, yeah.

[136] Learning how fatiguing it is to gather up your own firewood and he made most of his own tools.

[137] Like right there, he's making a mallet himself.

[138] He drills a hole in it with a hand auger and then he makes his own peg.

[139] And he only brought in tools to make tools.

[140] And the big tools like that, he made all of himself.

[141] That's amazing.

[142] And what did he live on?

[143] Just deer meat?

[144] I mean, elk meat, deer meat, berries.

[145] He got some oatmeal and stuff, you know, some dry goods that he would get in large barrels.

[146] So he'd come in and touch base periodically.

[147] They would come to him.

[148] People would fly out to him with goods.

[149] God.

[150] But, I mean, he built all this shit by himself.

[151] He built his whole cabin by himself.

[152] And he documented every step of the way.

[153] Amazing.

[154] His name is P -R -O -E.

[155] E. N -N -N -E -K -E.

[156] Dick Prenneke, alone in the wilderness, is the whole series on YouTube.

[157] And he's on the side of a lake with this cabin that he built, living off of animals that he hunted and firewood and, you know, whatever food that he gathered.

[158] I'm obsessed with this now.

[159] Because I got this corona thing caught me with my pants down.

[160] I want, here's what I want.

[161] I want a, I want a substantial cabin made of things.

[162] thick logs or stone, and then I want it near a lake or a water source, maybe preferably a well, that I can irrigate my own crops.

[163] You can have crops?

[164] I'm going to have chicken.

[165] I need chickens.

[166] You really only need a garden.

[167] You don't need crops if it's just you.

[168] I need a garden.

[169] Is it just you?

[170] Yes.

[171] Well, it might be me and my several of my -lady friends.

[172] My lady friends, because I'm going to start my own colony, so I have to breed.

[173] You understand?

[174] Okay.

[175] I need a lot of hair and beard dye because I want to stay looking young.

[176] What if they come up with something that reverses you in age?

[177] Now you're talking my language.

[178] How old would you like to go back to?

[179] David St. Clair will actually have a cabin on the side.

[180] He'd be right next to you doing experiments.

[181] I'm going to have his fucking lab and I'm going to be his skinny pig.

[182] Yeah, you'd be the guy.

[183] David, come out, come on out.

[184] And I'll just entice him.

[185] On Tyson with all the girls.

[186] Well, he's not into that.

[187] He's a married man. Leave him alone.

[188] All right.

[189] But he'd like to come out just to hang out and pal around for a few days.

[190] He's a fun guy.

[191] He seems like a good guy.

[192] He's a great guy.

[193] Yeah.

[194] And he's brilliant.

[195] And he's brilliant in the field.

[196] That's very important.

[197] What do you mean?

[198] You're getting old.

[199] That's right.

[200] Yeah.

[201] That's right.

[202] You want to be Dick Prenneke where you had to escape your wilderness paradise because you're too old?

[203] There are a couple things.

[204] One more thing I want to do is I want to split with my shirt off while I have women watch me through the window of my log cabin as they're baking me a pie.

[205] Now, I know this is a chauvinistic fantasy.

[206] It sounds like it.

[207] Don't worry.

[208] You sound like a real piece of shit right now.

[209] The other thing I want to do before I die is I want to have a horse.

[210] attached to it that I can go and then it just shows up.

[211] Sort of like Brad Pitt's pit bull in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood?

[212] Correct.

[213] I'd kill for one of those.

[214] That pit bull was perfect.

[215] That was fucking great.

[216] That thing just fucking...

[217] They knew what to do, when to do it.

[218] Yeah.

[219] Yeah.

[220] They don't use...

[221] The cops I heard don't use Mastiffs, even Rottweilers, because they do too much damage.

[222] They don't like to let go.

[223] Then you got a major lawsuit on your hand.

[224] You can't have to bite your fucking hand off.

[225] Well, I was watching a fucking video of a guy in San Diego who got arrested by these cops and the cops couldn't get the German Shepherd off his arm.

[226] The German Shepherd was clamped down this guy's forearm and this guy's screaming and they're pulling on the dog and the dog's pulling on the meat of his arm.

[227] You don't choke the dog.

[228] They weren't interested in choking the dog.

[229] Apparently they thought this guy was a bad person and they were letting this dog chew this guy's arm up and you get permanent nerve damage.

[230] I mean it's just devastating to the tissue in your forearm.

[231] I've seen video of it where I said I said to the cop showed it to me I said why didn't that guy He was this giant A -wall.

[232] He went A -wall, just giant.

[233] He used to be a special force of this guy, and he just went crazy.

[234] And they let that dog loose on, because they had two cops that he was fighting off, and they let this wolf, this fucking wolf loose.

[235] And grabbed the dude on the top of his arm.

[236] He had huge arms, like Brennan Schaub, like big arms.

[237] Grabbed the guy, and the guy just, in the middle of his craze, he looked at the dog and then just went, he froze and went down.

[238] And I said, why isn't he punching?

[239] and he goes because you shut down because when he bit that arm that arm went numb you can't use that arm well the pain the excruciating pain of a German shepherd biting in your arm yeah oh not good or a real wolf well that's now you can't train them now you get yourself a problem of course they're not interested in listening they're not interested in listening good luck getting a wolf to attack I'll tell you who's not hearing a fucking peep out of a wolf and I'm talking about a timber wolf not a peep who is Mr. Mountain Lion okay mr mountain lion's versus wolf i'll tell you how exactly how ready yeah the wolf dies really that's right have it has you have you seen it that there's a video of it first of all really yep mountain line versus a wolf mountain lion's on his back by the way wolf tries get over and mountain line gets under that under the old jaw line oh gets the neck yeah and by the way got is uh and holds on with those claws that's right they have claws yeah and it's more athletic it's 150 pound 140 pound 130 pound mountain line good luck with that and there's they fight solo they don't need a bunch of pussy's dude and they go low they go fucking low like a lion there's no and there's no sound there's a great video of a water buffalo charging a lion a male lion and the male lion literally waits until the water buffalo is closed in the distance and then ducks under and grabs a whole of it by the neck and just hangs on yeah wow actually it might not have been a water buffalo it might have been something else like oh it was a cow some some other rugged animal.

[240] It was a rugged animal.

[241] I forget which animal it was, but the animal makes a rush at the lion like, hey, fuck you.

[242] And the lion's like, no, fuck you.

[243] One of the problems when you have a game reserve is that if you have a proud of lions, you are going to pay so much money keeping that reserve stocked because a proud of lions goes through crazy amounts of meat every single day, every other day.

[244] So they will decimate.

[245] They'll go through a whole herd of buffalo Well, that was an issue after the dentist, the dentist shot that line with a name.

[246] Yeah.

[247] Remember that line with the name?

[248] Cecil.

[249] And then, do you know that they were worried that Cecil's brother Jericho was killed?

[250] But no worries.

[251] It was a line that didn't have a name.

[252] So, fuck.

[253] We're so close.

[254] Literally, I read an article that we're being serious about that.

[255] They're being serious.

[256] There was a real concern that Cecil's brother Jericho had also been killed, but turned out not to be true.

[257] Like, as if it's the real lion king.

[258] Anyway, when they killed that lion, when that dentist killed that lion, well, they then after that had this thing, this international outcry where nobody wanted to go there and hunt lions because they didn't want to be the next guy that gets targeted, but like that dentist.

[259] So because of that, they had a slaughter, a large number of lions.

[260] I'm sure.

[261] All the do, people that don't have any idea what it is to sustain.

[262] The number was crazy.

[263] It was something like, I don't remember it was 50 or 500.

[264] Yeah.

[265] But it was like they had to kill them.

[266] And instead of getting $50 ,000 per lion, like they're accustomed to getting when people, because they have all these lions, the lions had decimated the undulate population.

[267] Of course.

[268] Because no one was killing the lions anymore.

[269] It's like elephants.

[270] So now with elephants, you can't move one, like a member of the herd or two members.

[271] Elephants have to be moved as a herd.

[272] Otherwise they go nuts.

[273] Right.

[274] So they're the females rule the roost, but you can't just take like three elephants from that herd and then move them over to the game.

[275] You got to take them all.

[276] Otherwise, they really get fucked up.

[277] Yeah, they love each other.

[278] They love each other.

[279] Yeah.

[280] But then also when you call elephants, which you have to do in Kruger National Park and things like that.

[281] Why do they have to?

[282] Because they get too destructive, they just get too many of them and they just wait and lay waste to the vegetation.

[283] It just becomes an imbalance.

[284] So the problem is that they were like, you can't shoot them from helicopters anymore or jeeps, whatever, because, you know, that's, and they would kill the whole hurt.

[285] because you can't just kill a couple, right?

[286] Because they go nuts.

[287] And then they can't do anything with the ivory because the ivory trade is illegal.

[288] Correct.

[289] So then they store that.

[290] So then you jack up the price of ivory, which they do the same thing with rhino horn.

[291] But so what now they try to do is they try to sterilize the females, right?

[292] They'll try to.

[293] Oh, great.

[294] Good luck with that.

[295] That's a lot of fun.

[296] That's really difficult to do as well.

[297] You know, they're trying to do that on the Hamptons.

[298] They're trying to do that with deer.

[299] They were trying to give the female deer birth control.

[300] Just let the men fucking shoot dead loads into them.

[301] Yeah, go ahead and shoot the deer.

[302] I'll eat them.

[303] Well, that's what they should do.

[304] Yeah.

[305] Yeah.

[306] I mean, but they didn't.

[307] They decided for whatever goofy reason that what they were going to do is try to give them birth control.

[308] And they were going to spend countless amounts of dollars to get birth control into deer.

[309] Like, how are you going to cat?

[310] What are you going to do?

[311] Do you know how many there are?

[312] Apparently, they're infested out there.

[313] After watching Tiger King, what is your take on keeping Tigris' pets?

[314] It's ridiculous.

[315] First of all, I only watched one half of one episode.

[316] I had a pause.

[317] I had a pause.

[318] Jamie and I were getting NAD IV drips, which is pretty fucking amazing.

[319] What is NAD?

[320] That's the stuff that David Sinclair was talking about.

[321] Well, let's get old brie on the NAD train.

[322] O 'Brien might be a little cheap.

[323] It's expensive.

[324] Yeah?

[325] It costs a pretty penny.

[326] I want to live forever.

[327] Okay.

[328] We'll talk afterwards.

[329] Okay.

[330] I don't know.

[331] I've done two, and I feel pretty good.

[332] You feel any different, Jamie?

[333] Yeah, I can probably say, I feel pretty good.

[334] Yeah, I feel pretty good.

[335] Yeah, but it feels like the second one really took it over the top.

[336] What does it do?

[337] I have more energy.

[338] I mean, I feel like really vibrant.

[339] I feel great.

[340] But what is it's hard to tell?

[341] What does that mean?

[342] I'm sleeping.

[343] Eight hours a day.

[344] I'm staying at home with my family.

[345] I'm not traveling on the road.

[346] You know, I mean, it's like, how am I sure this is it?

[347] but apparently scientifically it's provable.

[348] Lengthens your telomeres.

[349] It actually decreases your biological age.

[350] Wow.

[351] It's been proven.

[352] David Sinclair said that NAD, H -G -H, and there was one other D -H -E -A.

[353] Those three things in combination have been shown to reverse your biological age.

[354] Yeah.

[355] So we're trying.

[356] I'm like, look, while this shit's going down, I want to keep my immune system at fucking tip -top magoo, as Joey Diaz would say.

[357] Tip -top Magoo.

[358] It's one of the greatest Joey Diaz's expressions ever.

[359] But it's just one of those things where there's a few different scientific advances that they can absolutely show that will decrease your biological age and show that there's an increase in your vitality, your ability to recover, all these different things.

[360] So I'm getting in on all that.

[361] Well, and the tiger came back to that.

[362] You know, you had 227 tigers as pets.

[363] They live in a fucking cage.

[364] And then he had chimps Chimps should never be kept in the cage I don't know what anybody says Yeah So there's certain things I just don't think should be If you're if it's a professional zoo like San Diego And they have habitat I agree Even then it's disturbing But at least kids get to see them And it educates you know The general population But when you've got 10 ,000 tigers as pets Yeah I don't know man Do you remember my bit from triggered from 2016 I loved your old original tiger bit Oh that was a I've said so many tiger bits One of the greatest Tiger, one of the greatest bits ever.

[365] I mean, you can make the argument for two tigers fucking was one of the greatest bits ever.

[366] You should do it.

[367] You should do that fucking bit.

[368] I don't think it's on it.

[369] I don't think that bit is on anything.

[370] You should do that bit.

[371] You should revive that bit.

[372] And you should, you should tape it and you should put it out there.

[373] It's, let me say it again.

[374] I know comedy doing it's long time.

[375] It is top three.

[376] bits of all time.

[377] That's very nice of you.

[378] But it is.

[379] But it's, um, I think it might be on an audio recording.

[380] God, it was my, it was the first time I saw that we were at the comedy store.

[381] That, that, it gets on, I'm going to be dead someday.

[382] That bit gets destroyed in the audio version.

[383] You got to see the fucking visual.

[384] You have to see the visual.

[385] Dude, when you're making the noises.

[386] That was the first bit that I ever did where I realized, like, you have to kind of become the thing.

[387] Yeah.

[388] Like, you got to become the thing.

[389] Like, I would make noises, like, try to be me still.

[390] But then I realized, oh, I just got to become like a tiger fucking.

[391] That's what I love about certain bits.

[392] Like for me, I do this thing about having an abusive father who was a piano teacher.

[393] Don't ask.

[394] And I talk about his mustache.

[395] This mustache belonged.

[396] The bristles were so thick.

[397] They belonged on the back of a boar, not on a man's nose.

[398] And I go into this whole character.

[399] And I love to lose myself into that character.

[400] Or when I do that, that English super villain.

[401] Yes.

[402] Like, I just fucking.

[403] It's fun.

[404] It's so fun to get lost in that character.

[405] Because you can think like that person.

[406] That must be the appeal of like a guy like a Daniel Day Lewis or someone who can really encapsulate.

[407] You know, they do something where they become that.

[408] Yeah.

[409] They become that.

[410] Yeah, yeah.

[411] They're not, you know, and some people never do that.

[412] They're just always acting.

[413] Like, oh, here's that guy acting in a movie.

[414] I know who he is.

[415] Yeah.

[416] And there he's acting.

[417] And then some people just become.

[418] Jeffrey Tambor, who's won a bunch of Emmys for, you know, transparent and all that, he said that for him it was about shoes.

[419] He'd have to figure out what kind of shoes.

[420] Like, he'd have to feel it first in his feet, which makes sense.

[421] Oh, wow.

[422] Like when you wear sneakers or you wear leather -sold shoes, you feel different.

[423] You're not as secure in leather -soled shoes.

[424] You automatically become more formal when your toes are pushed together, you know, when you're constrained like that.

[425] It's a weird thing to think, but it does change you.

[426] Yeah, you can't even move good.

[427] in other sold shoes.

[428] They're slippery.

[429] Correct.

[430] So if you see people, I can tell a lot about somebody by their footwear.

[431] If they're wearing sandals, typically I can tell you what their political bent is.

[432] Those are dad sneakers.

[433] I don't give a fuck game over, and I do what I want, Joe Rogan shoes.

[434] You don't know the Czech shit.

[435] No, I like them.

[436] I know what they are.

[437] What are they?

[438] They're trail runners.

[439] These are solomons.

[440] They're excellent shoes.

[441] Speed cross.

[442] I know all about them because I almost bought them for these.

[443] See that?

[444] When we were going to go hunting with Ronella, I know all about those.

[445] She's traction.

[446] They're awesome.

[447] It says tread.

[448] Yeah.

[449] So if you're going to go up like slippery terrain, this gives you grip.

[450] I'm all about it.

[451] I run trails, bro.

[452] But also you're like, I don't care and I'll just wear those.

[453] There's a little bit of that.

[454] Also, there's no shoelaces.

[455] Correct.

[456] So I go like this, I cinch them tight.

[457] Yep.

[458] And I put it in here.

[459] Very easy.

[460] I tuck it in there.

[461] Yay.

[462] And you can go through the airport real easy with these on, too.

[463] You know who's never getting caught with us?

[464] You know who's never getting caught with those on?

[465] Brian Carroll.

[466] Nope.

[467] I'll do it.

[468] I don't give a fuck.

[469] Brenner's shop.

[470] No, no chance.

[471] I showed him to him once and he almost threw up.

[472] Yes.

[473] I wear these all the time.

[474] He can't handle it.

[475] Yeah, I wear these.

[476] I wear chucks.

[477] Yeah.

[478] But when I, if I'm doing anything in dirt, they're like a middle ground between wearing a boot.

[479] Yeah.

[480] You know, like if you're, I'm hunting sometimes.

[481] Yeah, those are, I looked at those for hunting.

[482] Yeah.

[483] A lot of guys in elk hunting in particular because you're so mobile.

[484] You're constantly chasing these massive herds and you're moving around and going through.

[485] You have to.

[486] I'm El -cunting with you.

[487] You've never been El -cunting.

[488] I need the meat.

[489] That's disturbing to me. Well, I have plenty of meat for you.

[490] I have the meat for you.

[491] Listen, you've seen me shoot.

[492] You've seen me how I lean into my target.

[493] Just hours ago.

[494] Just a couple hours ago.

[495] Da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da.

[496] You seem like you were born for it.

[497] Not only that, I go, get down.

[498] That's what you noticed how I said that.

[499] Oh, you didn't hear that?

[500] I didn't hear that.

[501] I had your plugs in, though.

[502] Oh, I was on radio.

[503] Get down.

[504] Also, you have a, you say things in a way that only people around you can hear.

[505] That's true.

[506] You don't, you have the right amount of projections, so the enemy never hears you.

[507] I speak cryptically.

[508] Andy Stumpf, Andy Stumpf, I did his podcast, and he had me, he wanted to see what kind of a tactical asshole I am.

[509] And he had me watch, you know, film.

[510] Oh, wearing his shirt.

[511] Oh, yeah.

[512] Clear it hot.

[513] He was on last week.

[514] I love him.

[515] The best, the best.

[516] And he had me, like, look at, like, different movie scenes and break down what was wrong.

[517] I was wrong all.

[518] I was completely wrong about everything.

[519] I thought that when you shot a gun with a suppressor, it was like, pf, no, it's pretty loud.

[520] You've never shot a gun with a suppressor?

[521] I have actually in Utah, but it's loud.

[522] I was wearing earphones, so I couldn't.

[523] But it's nothing like a rifle.

[524] No. Like when we were hunting in Prince of Wales, I had that gun with a muzzle break.

[525] So loud.

[526] Yeah, it's a 7mmet remington Ultramag.

[527] It's a very loud gun.

[528] Dude, that's so loud outside, it can hurt your...

[529] They say if you're too close to that, you can damage your ears permanent.

[530] 100%.

[531] Yeah.

[532] One of my friends.

[533] There was a guy who shot near him, shot too close to his ear.

[534] He's a guide.

[535] And this guy apparently went to swing.

[536] Like the animal was close by.

[537] Like he's here.

[538] The animal's close by.

[539] Something happened where he shot really close to his head and blew his ears out.

[540] Now he only has hearing aids.

[541] Damn.

[542] He has to wear hearing aids.

[543] Because you're, that rifle, the trigger is so sensitive.

[544] It's unbelievable.

[545] Yeah, the idea is they don't want you to pull in hard.

[546] But different people have different theories on that.

[547] It's the same with archery.

[548] With archery, some people like a very sensitive trigger, and some people like a trigger that's very hard to pull so that you can't just jerk on it because you have to pull, pull, pull, pull, bang, and then it goes off.

[549] You know, like, when you shoot archery, it's very interesting, but you would think, like say if you have like a wrist strap with a trigger on it, you would think that when you draw back, you go like that.

[550] Yeah.

[551] But you would use your finger to hit the trigger, but you actually don't.

[552] Some people do.

[553] Some people actually can do and shoot, like Cam Haynes does it that way.

[554] Shoots very well that way, but Cam Haynes is a psychopath.

[555] He's a different human being.

[556] Most people, there's something about that thing that starts a flinch and anticipation flinch.

[557] It doesn't with him, but some people, they get a thing called target panic.

[558] So they get away from target panic, what they do is instead of pulling the trigger, you wrap your finger around the trigger, and the trigger's stiff, and then you use your back muscles.

[559] So then you aim and you go like this.

[560] You just pull with your back muscles, and it goes off without you even moving your finger.

[561] So once I would hook my finger on it, my finger's in place, and then I'm just pulling and it pop, it goes off.

[562] Oh, that's nice.

[563] Yeah.

[564] Is it crossbow?

[565] Does that have more range?

[566] Crossbow is basically a shitty gun.

[567] It is.

[568] Just get a gun.

[569] What are you doing?

[570] You're not an archer.

[571] No. What are you doing?

[572] You got a shitty gun.

[573] It's a shitty gun.

[574] Oh, you think you're walking dead?

[575] You're that guy with the motorcycle?

[576] Personally, yes.

[577] Listen, that whole walking dead thing is so fraught with peril.

[578] First of all, how come there's no pass -throughs?

[579] You're shooting into these mushy zombie heads.

[580] It goes right in there.

[581] Why does it blow out the other side?

[582] Yeah.

[583] It would, wouldn't it?

[584] Fuck, yeah.

[585] It would blow through an elk.

[586] Really?

[587] Yes.

[588] A hundred percent.

[589] Those things are going fucking 500 feet a second.

[590] Which is why I told Andy Stumpf, they should, the special forces should have have a crossbow division?

[591] They should.

[592] They should not.

[593] But also, he doesn't even have real tips.

[594] Those crossbows, they're using field tips.

[595] It's basically a pencil point.

[596] It's like poking you and making a hole in you.

[597] It's not going to kill you.

[598] Oh, it's, what do you mean?

[599] The crossbow?

[600] The crossbow is not going to kill you with those tips on it.

[601] It's a little hole.

[602] It will make a little pencil hole that'll go through you.

[603] And your body would seal up the wound.

[604] Is that true?

[605] Yes.

[606] So you could shoot me with a crossbow with one of those arrows.

[607] You'd be fucked up, but you would live.

[608] Huh.

[609] But if I shot you with a cross...

[610] Unless it was in my heart.

[611] Yeah, that would probably kill you.

[612] But like one of your lungs, you'd probably live.

[613] But if you shot someone with a crossbow that had a real broadhead on it, the broadhead would slice you wide open, like a samurai sword right through your whole body.

[614] God damn.

[615] Yeah, that's what it's like.

[616] So easy to kill.

[617] Why are human beings so easy to kill?

[618] Well, because we're smart.

[619] We have nuclear weapons.

[620] That's how nature balances it out, right?

[621] Turtles are stupid as fuck.

[622] That's why they have that awesome cage over their whole body.

[623] It's true.

[624] true.

[625] That's what it is.

[626] Look, there's a balance to things.

[627] And we respect that balance, and we also, we want that balance to exist in everything.

[628] That's why if we see a hot girl, we want her to be stupid.

[629] Correct.

[630] That's why people get caught with their pants down when you think a hot girl is stupid and she turns out to be very intelligent.

[631] Perhaps more intelligent than you.

[632] Well, speaking of that, when I saw that we met the director of John Wick today.

[633] Yes.

[634] And he's a handsome, athletic -looking fella.

[635] He's a good -looking guy.

[636] He doesn't look like a director.

[637] He used to be a stuntman.

[638] He was a kickboxer and a moitai guy.

[639] But he's, he used to be Keanu Reeves' stunt double, I guess.

[640] But I looked in him and I was like, well, this dude looks like a stud.

[641] He's kind of like a silvery fox.

[642] He's getting older.

[643] He's like my age.

[644] But I thought to myself, the guy looks like a real athlete.

[645] He must be a, you know, meanwhile.

[646] He's definitely fit.

[647] Meanwhile, a fucking, a big director.

[648] Yeah, and he comes there and shoots all the time.

[649] All the time.

[650] He said they, twice a week.

[651] Dude, it's such a great thing to have.

[652] And it's also really fun.

[653] It's like you're just shooting metal targets and everything like that.

[654] It's just, but it's, it's fun.

[655] It's, there's something, it's the same thing with archery.

[656] It's the same thing with a lot of stuff that you have to focus on.

[657] You focus and then you execute.

[658] And if you do it properly, there's like sort of the meditative aspect to it, which sounds crazy to say that shooting guns with earplugs on a very meditation.

[659] It's very.

[660] Yeah, there is.

[661] Because, because it's like anything else.

[662] I like getting comfortable and familiar with things that scare me. Yes.

[663] I like getting comfortable and familiar with violence.

[664] I actually do.

[665] What I mean, yeah, because whether it's hunting, whether it's boxing, whether it's jiu -jitsu, but I like working at those things and putting myself in uncomfortable positions.

[666] Because when you go to a shooting range, like it's your first time like with me with that kind of tactical thing, it's always going to be a little uncomfortable because you're the new guy.

[667] You don't know what the fuck you're doing.

[668] You don't know how to unload a magazine.

[669] It's just going to be mechanical and there's going to be a process.

[670] But there's something about being in this strange location with those loud noise that you can become very familiar with and pretty soon you get good at that shit.

[671] And now you're actually, you don't look like a complete idiot.

[672] At least you can kind of like start to, you know, be familiar with that language.

[673] I think that's personally for me, I think that shit's important.

[674] Well, it's important to, it'll definitely make you less scared.

[675] There's one of the weirdest things is watching an altercation breakout and then watching men get scared, like men who don't know how to defend themselves or men that are not used to being around violence getting scared.

[676] That's right.

[677] Yeah.

[678] And that's going to happen.

[679] It's exactly like getting punched in a face.

[680] If you're not boxing and getting hit, I promise you, I don't care who you are.

[681] When you get hit, you can usually get jab.

[682] What you're going to do is you're going to look down and you're going to bring your hands to your face.

[683] That's what you're going to do.

[684] You're going to go, oh, shit, boom.

[685] Or you're going to do this.

[686] or that and then you're a then you're yeah and it's not until you really practice whatever it is that you can see and kind of you know i'm not saying i'm there but that's you're at least less apt to less likely to put yourself in a position of danger you know it's exactly like with jujitsu right once when you grab somebody what do they do like i'll grab i've grabbed boxers have never had any wrestling great boxers they're banic they turn they turn they back or like i was messing i was showing my friend how he's a great boxer but i was showing him how vulnerably is with even an idiot like me grabs them and grabbed him, took him to the ground, and I wrapped, I put a body locker on his body, and what did he do?

[687] He reached down from my ankles.

[688] So I went, here you go.

[689] And I just want you to see what happens?

[690] It was, anybody would do that.

[691] Yeah.

[692] Well, I think it's good just to learn because it's difficult and because it tests you emotionally and physically.

[693] Yeah.

[694] And even the shooting stuff does, especially because we're around these guys who are, you know, Taryn's a real world -class competitive shooter.

[695] and he's showing us this stuff and then we go to do it it looks so awkward and goofy like when you put yourself in a situation where you suck at something it's really good for you it's good to suck at things and try to get better at them anything whatever it is whether it's learning how to play chess whether it's whatever it is learning how to do something you learn how to play tennis whatever the fuck it is when you learn how to do something and you suck at it at first and you have to concentrate in getting better that thing of getting better translates to other aspects of your life and it's a skill getting better at stuff as a skill it doesn't mean that because it's a mindset yeah but it doesn't mean that because you're good at archery you'll be good at learning how to play the piano but if you can get good at learning how to play the piano you can get good at archery yes because it's there's a thing in there of learning how to learn well that's so learning how to learn a lot of times is as simple as once you learn how to do one thing well like that's why one thing informs the other i think what happens is if you're in a new situation like we were today, you get better, at least I'm better at getting out of my own way.

[696] Yeah.

[697] You get better at not overthinking.

[698] You get better at relaxing.

[699] It's the same, a lot of times it's the same body position.

[700] It's the same weight distribution.

[701] Sometimes it's very similar.

[702] Like a lot of these things have, they're similar language, but mainly they're also a similar mindset.

[703] You just put yourself in that softer, that softer beginner's mind, that idea of kind of like, you know, just don't, just open up, open your mind and just let it come to you.

[704] Well, it's also accepting that you don't know things.

[705] A lot of men in particular are really bad at learning stuff because they want to think that they know already.

[706] So even when you tell them stuff, they want to think, no, yeah, I got it, I got it.

[707] Problems.

[708] Well, because men are natural problem solvers.

[709] I have a joke about that where I say, I don't know anything about cars, nothing.

[710] But if there's a woman on the side of the road with her hood up looking at her engine, I'll make suggestions.

[711] And it's true.

[712] And I've done that.

[713] Like, I'll be like, well, check the spark plug.

[714] Yeah, I don't know.

[715] Well, today with engines, you, good luck.

[716] No one knows what's going on in there.

[717] You ever see what it looks like when they open up a brand new, like, 992, 2020 Porsche?

[718] No. The hood.

[719] Pull up, opening up the hood on a 2020 Porsche.

[720] It's the most ridiculous thing ever.

[721] Really?

[722] You have no idea when anything is.

[723] God.

[724] You have no. Even someone like you who knows a lot of cars.

[725] I have no idea.

[726] what's in there.

[727] I have no idea.

[728] You can't even see anything.

[729] You get this much of a view.

[730] What?

[731] To the end in.

[732] Oh, yeah.

[733] The view into when you open up the back, you know, there's a rear engine car.

[734] Portia was probably one of the most sophisticated, technologically advanced cars ever built, right?

[735] Because they've been refining the design since the 1960s.

[736] Pop up the rear trunk and look inside at the engine, or it's not trunk, it's the hood, whatever.

[737] Look inside of the engine.

[738] You don't know what the fuck that is.

[739] It's two fans.

[740] You see two fans.

[741] Jesus.

[742] That's what you see.

[743] See two fans.

[744] Jesus.

[745] Yeah.

[746] What's going on there?

[747] I don't know.

[748] I'd better take it to a place with computers.

[749] Well, you need software, right?

[750] You need software to tune it up and all that shit.

[751] I have no idea.

[752] You have to, literally, you have to, they have to plug a machine into it which analyzes the system.

[753] God damn.

[754] And then the machine's going on, hey, this is fucked and that's fucked and this is falling apart.

[755] When are they going to do that with people?

[756] Yeah.

[757] Soon.

[758] Really?

[759] Yeah.

[760] You have inside info.

[761] Well, here's the problem.

[762] once the first guy gets his legs cut off and gets awesome new legs put on then we're going to have a real problem because people are going to take their legs off uh -huh yeah you're gonna have better legs that'll be joe rogan better legs i can't wait until i get the call when you're 80 i'm getting new legs dude what getting him cut off i'm gonna buy and i you know me i'll be like i don't know joe the science is new and you go fuck off like a turkey leg pop god damn just pull them off and put some new ones on there well i mean we were uh talking about this guy.

[763] Do you see any photos of it?

[764] Trying to find a video and nothing was new at all.

[765] They were a really old old.

[766] It's a 992 Porsche.

[767] 992 is the 2020 model.

[768] If 992 Porsche under the hood is all right.

[769] Wouldn't mind buying a Porsche?

[770] You should.

[771] Really?

[772] Please.

[773] I've been trying, I'm begging you for years.

[774] I deserve it.

[775] I just buy a real car.

[776] Yes.

[777] I mean, I have a Tesla.

[778] That's a real car.

[779] Yeah.

[780] That's a great car.

[781] That's new for you to say.

[782] I love that car.

[783] Do you still drive your...

[784] I love it.

[785] It's right here.

[786] I drive it all his own.

[787] Great car.

[788] It's the fastest thing I've ever driven by far.

[789] I have a bunch of sports cars that make a lot of noises.

[790] But they're like guys who put like fucking headbands on and weightlifting belts.

[791] And then some girl who's a crossfitter goes right next to you and deadlifts twice the weight.

[792] That's what the Tesla is.

[793] It's soft and subtle and twice as fast as anything.

[794] I love your whatever that is, land cruiser.

[795] Oh, yeah.

[796] It's the greatest car I've ever seen.

[797] Does it drive really well?

[798] Oh, yeah.

[799] No problems?

[800] It's got a supercharged Corvette engine in it.

[801] Oh.

[802] Okay, that's a side section of the car, though.

[803] I have no idea what the fuck that is.

[804] I think that's actually they cut the car in half so that you can look into it.

[805] I think that's actually even an artist rendering.

[806] It's okay, Jamie.

[807] We're never going to find it.

[808] Oh, far left.

[809] Right there.

[810] Red.

[811] The red.

[812] The red, far left, left, left, right there.

[813] That's it.

[814] That's it.

[815] That's it.

[816] That's the view.

[817] Go large with that.

[818] What?

[819] If you open up the trunk, that's That's what you see.

[820] Come on.

[821] Yep.

[822] That's the whole thing you see.

[823] Under the hood.

[824] That's what you see.

[825] What happened there?

[826] So forget it.

[827] So forget it.

[828] That's it.

[829] So your wrenches are no good here.

[830] So imagine a girl pulls over.

[831] I don't know what I did too.

[832] And she's wearing cut off jean shorts and a banging booty.

[833] Big old squat booty.

[834] You know what I'm saying?

[835] Yeah.

[836] And she's looking over and you're like, I've got to help her.

[837] Let me help you.

[838] I'm, where are you?

[839] I go, what seems to be the trouble.

[840] You are a captain never distracted.

[841] Is that what you said?

[842] My nickname is Brad Pitt.

[843] So if you pull over and look at that, you don't know.

[844] Not a fucking human being has any idea what's going on?

[845] I'd say, I've got the software back of my place.

[846] You should get one of those, though.

[847] You should get one of those.

[848] Get yourself a nice Carrera S. Oh, my God, it's a marvelous car.

[849] Really?

[850] Oh, yeah, super calm and quiet.

[851] They go over bumps like nothing, but yet when you hit the, like, they have such a supple suspension that the suspension can, it's so it adjusts to matter what you're driving over, especially when you're in comfort mode.

[852] Expensive.

[853] Yes.

[854] It's a fucking Porsche.

[855] Jesus Christ.

[856] What kind of question is that?

[857] At least $100 ,000?

[858] Yes.

[859] Yeah, at least $100, but you need one.

[860] I do, right?

[861] You do.

[862] You're a bad influence on me, man. No, I'm a good influence.

[863] Look, we've been doing this forever.

[864] We have been doing it forever.

[865] Now, imagine, if you just listened to me. All those times ago, you'd still be fine, but you would have had this history of having amazing cars.

[866] Instead, you had a fucking red Prius forever.

[867] It's the red ram.

[868] Called the Red Ram.

[869] One thing you did have, though, I remember that.

[870] that you had not bad that was pretty dope yeah it was like a 70 bronco yeah gave me nothing a 71 bronco with a 350 windsor or something like that yeah caused me nothing but problems you know why because it's a piece of shit if you got a really good one it would be awesome if you had a really good car it was a cool looking car i remember when you came to my house and i was like i love you yeah you're finally getting it i'm like finally you're getting every time i try to be different though it's just never you know you just never driven a Porsche if you drove if you drove if you If you drove, and see, you don't want one like Shobbs.

[871] Shob's got a GT2 R .S. He's such an extremist.

[872] It's too loud.

[873] It hits bumps too loud.

[874] It's like, it's his number one car.

[875] Oh, yeah.

[876] It's his prime.

[877] Who drives that car as their number one car?

[878] Psychos.

[879] He's out of his mind.

[880] He's a psycho.

[881] I know.

[882] But it fits him.

[883] I know.

[884] It's perfect for him.

[885] It's flashy.

[886] It's blue and black.

[887] It's amazing.

[888] The best.

[889] Like that.

[890] You don't want that color.

[891] That's a gross color.

[892] I like that color.

[893] That color is disgusting.

[894] Get a, pull up a, there's, that's that's that Doug DeMiro guy.

[895] He's a nice car, though.

[896] That guy's a great analyst of automobiles.

[897] Like, look at that.

[898] Perfect.

[899] Black.

[900] Listen, this car is a marvelous car.

[901] Yeah, but you know, I need something for the fucking, I need something for the next pandemic.

[902] I need something to get, I got to, I want to get an airstream.

[903] You want a land cruise.

[904] You like mine.

[905] Yeah, but I need, I need something I can kind of live in, too.

[906] I'm going to get a call an airstream.

[907] Living, you want something you can get away from everybody in too.

[908] You can't get away in an airstream.

[909] You got to leave that thing there, and then it becomes a liability.

[910] That's true.

[911] You want something, You could overland in, son.

[912] Overland.

[913] Overland in.

[914] That's a good idea.

[915] It's a whole thing they do.

[916] Just overlanders.

[917] My land cruiser that was built by ICON, the rear seat comes out.

[918] So the rear seat has these, they made it for me. So you just pull these levers, click, click, pull the rear seat out.

[919] You could sleep in that motherfucker if you had to.

[920] Expensive.

[921] Cost money.

[922] Yeah, it costs money.

[923] You want to hire artisans and craftsmen and geniuses to design things and build things for you.

[924] It costs money.

[925] Maybe just regular.

[926] You want to get paid, too, right?

[927] I do.

[928] Yeah, they do as well.

[929] You got to pay them.

[930] Maybe a regular land cruiser.

[931] Regular land cruisers are great.

[932] I'm cheap when it comes to cars.

[933] What is that?

[934] Oh, look at that.

[935] That's a real overland vehicle.

[936] That looks like a Dodge Ram or a Ford F -150 or something I can't tell.

[937] What's that thing that's dragon behind it?

[938] Well, that's where all your shit is.

[939] Yeah.

[940] You sleep in that.

[941] Yeah.

[942] And then they have these rooftop tents.

[943] That's one lows.

[944] Look at that.

[945] Yeah, you climb in the rooftop tent.

[946] Let me see that, let me see the one, but I want to see that one.

[947] I need protection.

[948] No, you want the one to the left of your cursor.

[949] That gray -looking thing, Right to the left.

[950] Yeah, right there.

[951] You just had it, yeah.

[952] That's what you want.

[953] Look at that.

[954] It looks so man. Oh, that's fucking cool.

[955] It looks like a Ford F -350.

[956] That's what I need.

[957] Now, the problem is it's taking up a lot of gas.

[958] It's diesel.

[959] That thing probably drives pretty, it probably is a huge tank.

[960] What are those three things?

[961] Is that three gas tanks?

[962] It might be.

[963] It might have three gas tanks.

[964] I'm a fan.

[965] Yeah, look at that thing.

[966] I'm a fan.

[967] I carry extra gas.

[968] Well, we have to think differently now, right?

[969] I agree.

[970] Press that button.

[971] Let's see what this thing.

[972] Look at it driving over fucking mountains and shit.

[973] Look at it so manly.

[974] Yeah, I got my weapon.

[975] You can keep water in there.

[976] You could fucking cook food in that fucking thing.

[977] I got my weaponry.

[978] I got my hunting rifles.

[979] I got everything.

[980] He's got, oh my God, he's bouncing over rocks with that thing.

[981] He's got rock sliders on that pig.

[982] That's a pig of a truck while you're doing that.

[983] I know.

[984] Imagine trying to sleep.

[985] That's good, though.

[986] Why are you driving over the mountain?

[987] I like that a lot.

[988] Yeah.

[989] Those are great.

[990] But you could, like a. Van.

[991] There's a company called, look up this company, You Joint Off Road.

[992] Yeah, I think that's what it's called.

[993] You joint off road.

[994] And what they do is they take a van, like a regular van, and they turn it.

[995] He has an Instagram page.

[996] It's pretty cool.

[997] They take a regular van, like a cargo van, and turn it into like the ultimate four by four vehicle.

[998] They take out all the bullshit, take out all the axles and the engines, redo everything and put like super beefy off -road suspension, off -road like live rear and front axles.

[999] I love that shit.

[1000] Look at that.

[1001] Bam, motherfucker.

[1002] Drive to the moon in that bitch.

[1003] Yep.

[1004] See, that's something that normally would be like something that Amazon delivers your toothpaste in.

[1005] It's big enough to sleep in.

[1006] Oh, fuck yeah, for sure.

[1007] Look at that.

[1008] They did one with a school bus.

[1009] They redid a school bus.

[1010] I need, you got to have water.

[1011] You got a lot of shit.

[1012] There's a lot of shit.

[1013] I've been obsessing now.

[1014] My friend Sam Soholt, he's a photographer, and he films, does a lot of outdoor filming and stuff.

[1015] I've known him for years.

[1016] He did a school bus.

[1017] He purchased a school bus.

[1018] Go to Sam Soholt's Instagram page.

[1019] He probably has a blog about the school bus because, I mean, it's an extensive build.

[1020] He did it for years.

[1021] And he took this school bus, a regular school bus, turned it into this ultimate outdoor travel vehicle that can sleep like 10 people.

[1022] So he has cots in it.

[1023] Oh, it's amazing.

[1024] It's a labor of love.

[1025] You and I spoke about getting some land.

[1026] We've done this a while back We were talking about this With a, here's the thing I didn't think of It you thought of It was very smart You get land with a large Pond slash lake on it Yes So you can fish So you got access to protein No matter what Right Then you have a garden You gotta be able to grow You need a well I gotta irrigate I need a well I gotta have my own source of water There's Sam's thing So look how the side pulls out Oh that's fucking turn Turns into a wall tent That's crazy The side turns into a fucking wall tent look at that shit that's amazing dude it's so dope and he brings that thing up into the back country that's great yeah dude it's amazing problem is a giant bus i need something a little bit more maneuverable yeah you don't want that no sam's crazy but i mean it's awesome what about the fisker what is it called the fisker that's a electric car what are you talking about no what is now i'm losing you you're sliding back to the old way hold on oh now you're back in venice drinking cappuccino's off a fucking expensive machine no no son of a bitch hold on I need, we have to go look at land, dude.

[1027] Where do we do it, though?

[1028] Colorado or Utah.

[1029] Not California anywhere?

[1030] No, you want to get out of here before this place slides.

[1031] Too many fucking fires.

[1032] It's not just fires.

[1033] Anything can happen here.

[1034] Look, we're dealing right now with this pandemic.

[1035] The entire country's dealing with it.

[1036] Tack on a natural disaster.

[1037] And then you're really fucked.

[1038] You're really fucked.

[1039] For real.

[1040] For real.

[1041] I know.

[1042] Yeah.

[1043] This is a tricky place.

[1044] California's tricky because it works.

[1045] When it works, it's great.

[1046] but it's kind of like playing musical chairs.

[1047] Like, you know that fucking music is going to stop and everyone's going to have to sit down.

[1048] Like, is there a chair for me?

[1049] Yeah.

[1050] Like, am I stuck here?

[1051] Right.

[1052] Musical chairs might be a bad analogy, but the reality is this is unsustainable, and we're basing all of this on a model that really throughout human history has only been temporary, and that means a model of peace and prosperity and interdependence on a level.

[1053] We're not a technological independence.

[1054] I mean, Jesus Christ.

[1055] And we're counting on the grid, we're counting on so many factors that have never been permanent throughout human history.

[1056] Right.

[1057] They haven't existed, right?

[1058] The grid didn't even exist until the 20th century, right?

[1059] So in the 20th century, in the time that, you know, people who are alive today, almost, were alive, the whole world is shifted.

[1060] And now everybody lives in these electrified cities and sewage all goes through this thing and everything goes into the ocean.

[1061] You're counting on so many people.

[1062] So many, dude.

[1063] But on the other hand, there's so many pros to that.

[1064] There are, but I would just like, please, a place I can get the fuck out of and just have, like, I just want to be, I don't want to be a sitting duck.

[1065] My biggest fear is being vulnerable.

[1066] Right.

[1067] Well, you remember when I moved, I moved to Boulder in 2008 for a little bit.

[1068] And the reason why I moved is like, I don't like this.

[1069] I don't like this.

[1070] Traffic.

[1071] And when my daughter was born, too, I was thinking, you know what, this is a good time to start.

[1072] fresh let's just go somewhere where it's quieter and more people but ultimately that didn't work out because of altitude when my wife was pregnant with the second baby it's like god damn like altitude wrecks women when when they're pregnant and we were really high we're at 8500 feet above sea level but now I have other friends that are saying hey we need to get the fuck out of here Tom Segura was saying we need to get the fuck out of here Joey Diaz was saying where we're going I was like you tell me where we're going I'm going I'll go right he was like let's Let's go to Montana.

[1073] Let's go to fucking Billings, Montana.

[1074] We'll open up a comedy club.

[1075] I like Billings.

[1076] I like Billings, too.

[1077] We were in Billings.

[1078] Yeah.

[1079] When we hunted the Missouri Breaks, the first time we ever hunted.

[1080] We could create it.

[1081] We could literally start a comedy club somewhere great.

[1082] Oh, yeah, we could.

[1083] Like, Boise doesn't have a comedy club from what I understand.

[1084] Maybe they have a smaller.

[1085] No, Boise has a club.

[1086] All right.

[1087] So, Cortal Lane.

[1088] I don't know.

[1089] Somewhere really nice.

[1090] We could for sure do a comedy club somewhere.

[1091] Or move to a place like Salt Lake that has comedy clubs.

[1092] and 100 ,000 fucking people or whatever they have out there.

[1093] But the idea of staying here just seems so silly.

[1094] It seems so silly.

[1095] Yeah.

[1096] Especially, well, you're still in show business.

[1097] You're still sucking on the tit of the devil.

[1098] Yes.

[1099] Yes, I am.

[1100] You've got the devil's nipple in your mouth.

[1101] You're still going to red carpas.

[1102] I've also got the fighter indicated.

[1103] We're not getting Schaub to move anywhere because his shop would be like, you pussies.

[1104] Oh, he says that.

[1105] All it would take is one more of these things.

[1106] Yeah, you might be right.

[1107] Like, yeah, Denver's not bad.

[1108] Yeah, you could live in Evergreen.

[1109] You're 30 minutes from Denver.

[1110] Yeah.

[1111] How about that?

[1112] I'll do that.

[1113] Would you?

[1114] Is that nice?

[1115] Fuck, yeah.

[1116] I'll do that.

[1117] Overgreen's gorgeous.

[1118] Pull up Evergreen.

[1119] I got my kids.

[1120] People in Evergreen right now are angry at me. Shut up.

[1121] You're going to fucking wreck Evergreen.

[1122] Evergreen's beautiful.

[1123] Damn it.

[1124] It's 30 minutes from Denver and it's a beautiful mountain town.

[1125] Here I come.

[1126] 9 ,000 people.

[1127] 9 ,000 people.

[1128] 9 ,500.

[1129] All our friends.

[1130] Yeah.

[1131] Imagine we start a comedy club in Evergreen.

[1132] Great idea.

[1133] We just get Wendy involved.

[1134] Wendy from the comedy works.

[1135] That's what it looks like up there.

[1136] Bro, it's gorgeous.

[1137] It's got a beautiful historic.

[1138] Look at that.

[1139] That's what I'm talking about, Brian Callan.

[1140] Dude.

[1141] Duke.

[1142] Elk herds wander through town.

[1143] Oh, come on.

[1144] You whack one of them.

[1145] You eat it for six months.

[1146] And I want two German shepherds working line dogs.

[1147] Look at that.

[1148] Pull that fucking historic downtown evergreen.

[1149] That's the lake.

[1150] I've been to that before.

[1151] There's a lake and people go ice skating on the lake.

[1152] Dude, that's what I want to do.

[1153] Yeah.

[1154] My kids will ice skate.

[1155] You know the South Park guys?

[1156] Yeah.

[1157] Matt Stone and Tray Parker.

[1158] They're from Evergreen.

[1159] That's what South Park is based on.

[1160] It's part of it's based on.

[1161] That's why there's always snow in South Park.

[1162] It's based on Evergreen, Colorado.

[1163] Those guys are from there.

[1164] It's gorgeous.

[1165] It's gorgeous.

[1166] They're going to get mad of you if you keep talking about.

[1167] Sorry.

[1168] There's other places in Colorado, but there's other places in Utah.

[1169] Park City's amazing.

[1170] I love Park City.

[1171] My parents retired there.

[1172] Gorgeous.

[1173] Good move.

[1174] Great restaurants.

[1175] Beautiful scenery.

[1176] You're still dependent on the grid and there's not enough water.

[1177] I don't trust it.

[1178] Well, there is actually.

[1179] You get some water.

[1180] It doesn't trust it.

[1181] We'd be fine.

[1182] We'd kill some milk.

[1183] Yes.

[1184] I need, but I need fucking rice and oatmeal.

[1185] I need some starch.

[1186] You need rice and oatmeal?

[1187] I need some yams.

[1188] Why do you need rice and oatmeal?

[1189] You know, you can grow yams.

[1190] Huh?

[1191] You can grow those things.

[1192] Yeah, you need a lot of water.

[1193] They grow.

[1194] You grow them in the ground.

[1195] Yeah, but there's not a drought in Utah.

[1196] It's not like it's a fucking, I mean, there's a reason why there's so much snow, Brian.

[1197] That's precipitation.

[1198] Wait, you can melt snow, yeah, fuck.

[1199] But, I mean, it's coming down, right?

[1200] It snows, well, guess what, it also rains?

[1201] That's true.

[1202] Yeah, you can grow things there.

[1203] You see all those trees?

[1204] Yeah, they use water.

[1205] Yeah.

[1206] Whenever you see a lot of woods, assume there's water.

[1207] Yeah, probably, right?

[1208] Yeah.

[1209] Would imagine.

[1210] Maybe I should do some thinking.

[1211] Look at how pretty's that.

[1212] Where's that, Jamie?

[1213] I don't know, but it's a big giant lake.

[1214] God, it's so beautiful.

[1215] I need a lake.

[1216] I need a lake for water.

[1217] Does that Colorado is it?

[1218] It's an evergreen photos.

[1219] It's probably somewhere.

[1220] God, that's an evergreen?

[1221] Dude, I want to be able to live off the land.

[1222] Liveability.

[1223] Click on that.

[1224] What does it say about livability?

[1225] Don't come here, ass fucks.

[1226] Evergreen, Colorado, what you need to know?

[1227] Here it goes.

[1228] Looking to move to Evergreen, Colorado, we've got everything you want to know about the key factors that can make it the best place for you, including Evergreen, Colorado real estate.

[1229] Let's start with the basics.

[1230] Evergreen Colorado is located in Jefferson County.

[1231] Has a population of 8 ,688 people.

[1232] That's a show.

[1233] that's one show at a good -sized theater so true yeah that's one show that's not even a sold -out arena oh my god we have a cool graph below that shows the city's ethnic diversity none i'll check that graph right now zero it's all white people there's one black guy and they walk them watch them closely what kind of ethnic diversity let me see the graph evergreen let me see their graph let me see the graph about the diversity this is a graph they hide the graph like Salt Lake has a lot of Tongan and Samoan Oh yeah yeah Salt Lake Salt Lake the city surprisingly diverse I have a friend who moved there Medium household income 79 grand Nice 389 grand for a house nice Population 8 ,000 six So it doesn't have a diversity graph They probably ditched that One thing is like hey delete that Oh what does it say Okay it says ages Does it say ethnicity?

[1234] White 97 .5 5%.

[1235] 1 .4 % Asian.

[1236] Literally, no black people.

[1237] There's one black person.

[1238] Dude, 0 .1 % ethnicity.

[1239] Other.

[1240] It doesn't even say black.

[1241] It says other.

[1242] African Americans, one of the most prominent races in this country.

[1243] And there it's other.

[1244] It sounds like my...

[1245] Go back to that.

[1246] Stop scrolling.

[1247] Look at that.

[1248] That is crazy.

[1249] 97 .5 % white.

[1250] Dude, 30 minutes to Denver, huh?

[1251] Yeah.

[1252] 30 minutes of Denver.

[1253] I want to go to Evergreen.

[1254] But you will get snowed in, bro.

[1255] You will.

[1256] Oh, yeah.

[1257] Is it high elevation?

[1258] What's the elevation?

[1259] 8 ,000 feet.

[1260] That's a little high.

[1261] It's high as fuck.

[1262] And you're going to get snowed in.

[1263] It's not just snowed in, but like several feet of snow.

[1264] A little problem for me. Like, he ain't going nowhere, bitch.

[1265] A little problem.

[1266] Is it really?

[1267] Don't you just get a snow blower?

[1268] Like a goddamn man?

[1269] Well.

[1270] You put on a, like, get a, like a beaver hat.

[1271] Get Ronella to make you a beaver hat.

[1272] Like one of them real hats?

[1273] Yes.

[1274] Like the Mountain Man type hats?

[1275] I want a coyote full, I know it's mean.

[1276] I nervous like coyote.

[1277] Too much like dogs.

[1278] You want a coyote jacket?

[1279] Yes.

[1280] I mean, I know it's cruel and I don't want to kill coyotes, but they are very plentiful.

[1281] These idiots are thinking about moving wolves into Colorado.

[1282] That's not a bad idea, right?

[1283] Didn't moving wolves into Yellowstone increase the population of everything?

[1284] No. No, it did not.

[1285] Is that a lie?

[1286] No. Yes, it is.

[1287] It is.

[1288] I watched that video.

[1289] Oh, yeah, the wolves changed rivers.

[1290] Yes.

[1291] Yeah.

[1292] A lot of the factors.

[1293] Okay.

[1294] That that guy didn't take into consideration in terms of moving rivers.

[1295] One of the things was beavers.

[1296] They imported beavers into Yellowstone.

[1297] There's many, many factors.

[1298] Okay.

[1299] But they did reduce the undulate population, which you could say was out of proportion.

[1300] What's an ungulate?

[1301] Angulate is cows, elk.

[1302] The ungulates.

[1303] Rumnance.

[1304] Ruminants.

[1305] Ruminants.

[1306] Ruminants.

[1307] Ruminants.

[1308] Whatever it is.

[1309] I like saying ruminant.

[1310] Yeah.

[1311] The animals that you hunt, near an elk.

[1312] And guess who else?

[1313] hunt some wolves, bitch.

[1314] Yeah.

[1315] So it changed the way the elk behave.

[1316] It reduced the population pretty substantially, but there's still a healthy population of elk in Montana, and there's a healthy population of wolves, and they actually hunt wolves now.

[1317] They hunt wolves in Idaho.

[1318] They hunt a lot of wolves.

[1319] In some places, they're trying to resist the hunting of wolves, but you've got to kind of keep a balance, and if you're going to bring predators, you've got to realize why they killed them all in the first place.

[1320] They killed them all in the first place because ranchers were losing all of their crops or all their cattle, rather.

[1321] Look, I love wolves.

[1322] Look, you can see, I have pictures of wolves all over my wall out there.

[1323] I'm a huge fan of wolves.

[1324] But you can't raise life.

[1325] But I also am a big fan of wildlife biologists, and the wildlife biologists that understand balance, the real ones, not the ones that are animal activists that only want animals to live, and they only want everybody to eat tofu.

[1326] The ones that understand that this is, there's a balance from predators and prey, and we miss that balance.

[1327] You know, that's why there's no. mountain line hunting in California and people say well that's a good thing sort of but mountain lines are still getting killed in California this is what we don't understand mountain lines get killed by state and federal agents who have to kill mountain lions because mountain lions are killing either people's dogs or cats or livestock I didn't know that all the time they kill the same amount of mountain lines they would if they had tags really yes but the difference is the money doesn't go to the state but everybody feels good and the government feels warm and cuddly because somebody with a uniform is doing it they're doing it on the sneak tip instead of like some guy posing on instagram like hugging you ever see the way they pose with mountlines it's kind of fucked up they they hold them up in the air to hug them it's weird they do that with wolves too yeah let you know how big they are fucking well you know what a man they are they shot this mountline's delicious by the way it is according to everybody i know well rinal tell me it's pretty tough no no no no no somebody said he said it's superb that's his words said superb.

[1328] He goes, it's like a superior pork.

[1329] No. Yes.

[1330] But they are, they eat their predators.

[1331] 100 % carnivores.

[1332] Yeah.

[1333] And supposedly delicious.

[1334] I can't think of any other animal we eat.

[1335] Do we eat any animals that are total carnivorous, alligator?

[1336] Yes.

[1337] Alligator is delicious.

[1338] Fish.

[1339] Yeah, fish are 100 % carnivores, but they're not really, you know, it's a thing.

[1340] But what else, do we, what else animal wise?

[1341] You don't eat any birds that are carnivores, but birds will eat.

[1342] That is interesting, right?

[1343] Yeah.

[1344] Like, we don't eat eagles.

[1345] Well, in the eagle, you'd be a real piece of shit.

[1346] In the Old Testament, if you're a kosher Jew or if you're Islamic, if you're a Muslim, you're not to eat things like eagles, Osprey.

[1347] But there was a very good scientific reason for that.

[1348] Because you would get different pathogens like chicken.

[1349] Yes.

[1350] Oh, for sure.

[1351] Anything that eats live animals.

[1352] But chickens eat, they live on mealworm and they'll eat all kinds of shit.

[1353] That's true.

[1354] But you're also supposed to cook chicken past 145 degrees.

[1355] Yeah.

[1356] Because you're killing off parasites.

[1357] Yes.

[1358] And salmonella and all kinds of other shit.

[1359] Right.

[1360] You know, people who eat raw chicken, you've got to be out of your fucking mind to eat raw chicken.

[1361] Ducks, you know what a horse will eat a chicken sometimes?

[1362] Really?

[1363] Uh -huh.

[1364] There's a video of it.

[1365] Whoa.

[1366] I know cows eat birds.

[1367] Bring up that video of a horse eating a fucking chicken.

[1368] Thank you.

[1369] Thank you for doing this.

[1370] And deer will eat...

[1371] Oh, I've seen a lot of deer eating birds.

[1372] I'll eat birds.

[1373] I need that protein.

[1374] Yeah, there was a net that they used to catch birds.

[1375] Yeah.

[1376] They set up this net.

[1377] And I think they were studying birds, and it's a humane way to catch them to get, captured in this net and then they can release them from the net gently and then they could set them free uh -uh deer would just find them in the net and eat them god damn yeah they'd just pluck them right out of the net so interesting cattle too they'd know the net where the net was like oh wonderful no chase these birds chew chew chew yeah here's a cow eating one too yeah we've played the horse before too oh a cow eating a chicken play that it's a horse eating one okay here we go there's a chicken running around oh here's a chicken oh he's feeding to him oh he's feeding I'm just saying almost looks like it Really?

[1378] Well, yeah, he's filming it Horses don't fuck around My, uh Oh, it's a little baby chick Yeah, look, he's chasing that chick down Oh, I'm looking out for you That's so interesting That's a rap bitch Chompa, chompa chumpa Yeah, they just recognize It's so funny Protein Yeah, my, uh He ate that quick I used to have a pit bull Patty's Patty's Pit bull Chanty, badass dog I remember Chauncy Oh Love that dog A great dog Like an alligator Like jaws on fucking Just with feet There's a cow eating a chicken.

[1379] Jesus Christ, chewing it apart.

[1380] Oh, my goodness.

[1381] She got near a big horse, a Clydesdale.

[1382] That horse put its head down and ran straight at that fucking dog.

[1383] And John too was like, oh, fuck, yeah.

[1384] The size of a Clydesdale.

[1385] He was like, get the fuck out of my corral.

[1386] What do you do?

[1387] He literally stopped and he went, really?

[1388] Put his head down and went, and came, I thought she was going to die.

[1389] She just dodged out of the way.

[1390] She could have.

[1391] There's a horrible video of this guy is, what is it called when you got a bunch of dogs pulling you.

[1392] Is it called mushing?

[1393] Yeah, mushing.

[1394] I did rod, yeah.

[1395] Mushing.

[1396] Mushing?

[1397] Mushing or mushing?

[1398] I mush.

[1399] Do you mush or do you mush?

[1400] I mush, personally.

[1401] Okay.

[1402] So this guy, it's really sad.

[1403] This guy is getting pulled by these dogs, and this moose runs in front of him and just start stomping his dogs.

[1404] What?

[1405] Yeah, it's terrible.

[1406] It's terrible.

[1407] There's nothing you can do about it.

[1408] No. So this is not it.

[1409] This is not it, but I'm sure this is probably a similar result.

[1410] The other one was a cow moose It was either a cow moose Or let me see that one I was just clearing the path for him It said Well They will They will fuck up dogs Moose attack sled dog team Yeah that's not it It's a recent one But it's real anyway It was real sad I saw it on Instagram It killed a bunch of dogs It killed a couple of them One of them they had to put down After the fact Because it broke its back Damn Yeah I mean a milton moose is an 1800 pound animal Not hearing a peep out of a pack of dogs Pack a dog That's like you get in a fight with a hamster Yeah Just get the fuck out of here Bank!

[1411] Yep Moose are so big man Couple cheetah pull them down though Cheetah'll grab your balls Eat your balls first Then hamstring you You know what they do that?

[1412] Wolves do that too Lions will do that with a water buffalo They'll attack the legs They'll eat your balls They'll take your balls They'll start to bleed out I'll take your balls please Huck -c -c -c -c -o Can't protect your balls by Wow.

[1413] Yeah, it's a stupid design, right?

[1414] Yeah.

[1415] Just pull it up inside like a turtle.

[1416] Tanks.

[1417] They're just tanks, but sometimes they get tired.

[1418] Yeah, if you go hunting, you should have a steel cup, like a tie cup.

[1419] Yes.

[1420] One that goes through the butt, like a G -string.

[1421] I do it anyway.

[1422] You should.

[1423] I call that discipline.

[1424] Some wolf wants to try to bite your balls.

[1425] He gets a mouth full of metal.

[1426] How about that?

[1427] How about that?

[1428] How about that?

[1429] I take down to my leg with a hemp rope just to keep me honest.

[1430] A hambroop?

[1431] Yeah, keep me honest.

[1432] And also organic.

[1433] Yeah, Brian, what are you doing?

[1434] Time I dig down with a coarse hemp rope.

[1435] Why?

[1436] Case me honest.

[1437] Yeah, like, you know, those side holsters that people have sometimes where they have a strap on their thigh?

[1438] Yep.

[1439] Because they have a long gun.

[1440] They want to keep it from flopping up against their thigh.

[1441] Sure, do.

[1442] As you do with the hog?

[1443] That's right.

[1444] Sometimes I sprint with a hard on.

[1445] You ever try that naked?

[1446] I've never run with a hard on.

[1447] Me neither.

[1448] It's amazing.

[1449] I've lived all these years.

[1450] Never ran with a heart on.

[1451] I wonder how long you dick would stay hard if you were in a full gallop.

[1452] It's a good question.

[1453] It's a very good question.

[1454] That'd be a great contest.

[1455] Right.

[1456] If, like, someone broke in your house and you were in the middle of, of sex and you were angry, but you kept your wood because you weren't scared.

[1457] Just get your dick super hard and just go run.

[1458] Just take a, like, a hair tie and just rubber band it to the bottom.

[1459] Got to do that.

[1460] Just keep the blood flow.

[1461] Got to tie your piece down.

[1462] Oh, yeah, you tie off at the end.

[1463] Yeah, yeah, yeah, like a cock ring.

[1464] That's right.

[1465] And then just go running after them.

[1466] Well, you just use a cock ring.

[1467] With a big old hard on.

[1468] Yeah, but who has a cock ring?

[1469] Oh, fuck.

[1470] That's one of those things.

[1471] Like, if you have it, like, what's wrong with you?

[1472] Don't say that because you'll get, you're going to get 50 emails of people with alligator our cock rings and I'll initial it for you Hey bro, there's nothing wrong with cock rings Joe Rogan fucking experience Let me show you how I make them Just a cock ring You got You got Python?

[1473] Yeah Python cockering So many cock rings They all exist Yeah like who's buying Sex toys from stores these days You ever drive by one of them sex toy stores And you're like for real It's a ghost town Who's in there?

[1474] They're open still Are those money laundering operations?

[1475] Maybe but But the hustler store is still open, I think, on Sunset Boulevard.

[1476] That's more of a thing for you and your girlfriend going like, let's get this.

[1477] Well, it used to be DVDs.

[1478] I remember you used to be like, you remember when people used to buy porn DVDs?

[1479] There was a day.

[1480] You fucking kids today are so spoiled.

[1481] And VHS porn.

[1482] Oh, yeah.

[1483] Oh, I remember that.

[1484] That was when I used to watch porn.

[1485] You know, I never, and this is all bullshit aside, and I'm not because I'm a good boy.

[1486] I never watch porn.

[1487] I never, ever watch porn because it doesn't do a thing for me. Really?

[1488] I don't know what it is.

[1489] I just, I swear to God.

[1490] Because you're tired for a fucking all the time.

[1491] I thought about that the other day.

[1492] I was like, I haven't watched porn in...

[1493] Three days?

[1494] Since I was 52.

[1495] I haven't watched porn in so many years.

[1496] Because you're tired from all your fucking.

[1497] Yeah, all my banging.

[1498] Oh, you're fucking.

[1499] Because I fuck.

[1500] Porn is an oddly polarizing subject because every...

[1501] It's one of the weirdest things ever, if you really, stop and think about it because mostly everyone who's healthy enjoys sex, whether it's straight sex or gay sex or what kind of sex you like.

[1502] If you're healthy and you're young, even if you're not young, if you're healthy, your body works well, you like sex, but yet filming it is so taboo.

[1503] I know.

[1504] I think it's because -so taboo.

[1505] It is taboo, and I thought a lot about that.

[1506] I think it's because we inherently know typically that the person doing it, putting themselves on camera, it is.

[1507] a form of suicide.

[1508] And what I mean by that is it's a form of, it's a way of ensuring that you keep yourself out of certain segments of society, right?

[1509] And maybe it's residue from when, when sex was downright dangerous, pregnancy, disease that we didn't have cures for.

[1510] I think sex had to have a lot of taboos.

[1511] Like even in the Old Testament, I think, when the Israelites were not allowed to, you know, you couldn't take the women as slaves, you had to kill everybody.

[1512] Well, the reason for that was, unless they were virgins, because the reason for that was you could get a disease.

[1513] And I can't remember who broke that down, but that was always a thing where people would get, you'd go into a town and rape all the women and stuff, and then your soldiers would come down with some terrible syphilic disease.

[1514] And so in the Old Testament, the Israelites were, you know, forbidden from taking anybody who was of a certain age.

[1515] That's another weird thing about sex.

[1516] The diseases.

[1517] Like, how many goddamn diseases come from fucking?

[1518] And people seem fine.

[1519] Yeah.

[1520] That's the thing.

[1521] It's not like the flu.

[1522] Or, you know, like, if someone's like, oh, I got to have a fever, blah, I'm sick.

[1523] Can we fuck?

[1524] You know, like, it's not like that.

[1525] And I got the flu from Maggie.

[1526] That dirty bitch.

[1527] Like, wait, bro, she was in bed.

[1528] She was sick.

[1529] You couldn't tell she was sick?

[1530] Oh, I thought I'd be fine.

[1531] Like, no. When I was younger, if you had a flu, I wasn't going to stop me. If I'm sick, I can't, I'd be like, I don't give a fuck.

[1532] Because you're terrible.

[1533] But that's not my point.

[1534] My point is people seem fine and they have a terrible disease.

[1535] It's so weird.

[1536] Yes.

[1537] Like the flu is normal.

[1538] Right.

[1539] You're sick.

[1540] You've got a temperature.

[1541] Oh, I don't want to be near you.

[1542] I could catch that disease.

[1543] But that's one of the weird things about this coronavirus in a lot of ways, right?

[1544] Because they said, we were trying to figure out what the number is.

[1545] But there's a large percentage, more than half.

[1546] are asymptomatic.

[1547] Right.

[1548] But they're carrying it.

[1549] But they're carrying it.

[1550] So, like, they seem fine, but they're spreading this horrible disease.

[1551] That's weird, but that's sort of like some diseases, some VD, some, the clap.

[1552] Yes, syphilis.

[1553] You can have herpes and never show symptoms.

[1554] So you can have herpes simplex, too, and never show symptoms.

[1555] You could be one of those.

[1556] And you could be carrying it.

[1557] Just shoot and dirty.

[1558] Herpes, ridden, loads.

[1559] Yes.

[1560] And apparently all of us have been exposed.

[1561] to herpes.

[1562] And if you get cold source from, I understand, on your lips, you have somewhat some immunity to the one on your genitals.

[1563] Yeah.

[1564] But you could transfer the ones from your lips.

[1565] Apparently you can.

[1566] It's such a weird.

[1567] Every time I talk to a doctor, though.

[1568] You can't fix that one.

[1569] There's no, they don't have a vaccine for herpes.

[1570] No, they just have pills you can take.

[1571] Oh, they never figured that out.

[1572] I think they were working on it.

[1573] There's too many people with herpes.

[1574] Let's let it go.

[1575] It's some crazy number.

[1576] It's like warts, too.

[1577] There are different kinds of warts.

[1578] Well, they have that now.

[1579] HPV, they do have a vaccine for that.

[1580] Yeah.

[1581] They do have a vaccine for that.

[1582] And that's very important for women because women get it and they get cervical cancer.

[1583] It's just the idea that all these diseases are passed on through sex is so strange.

[1584] Well, if you think about you're coming in as close contact as is possible.

[1585] Maybe you're ingesting their fluids.

[1586] I like to get out of Rome.

[1587] Where I come, I like to run into the bathroom.

[1588] And clean immediately.

[1589] I just shoot into the sink.

[1590] Yeah, man, it's hard to...

[1591] Yeah, but porn.

[1592] We were talking about porn and why there's...

[1593] Why is there taboo?

[1594] Typically, I think it's because people...

[1595] I think it's a couple things.

[1596] I think porn people remind us of a darker animalistic side of ourselves we don't want to admit to, right?

[1597] So if I watch porn, I'm not going to admit that to a bunch of people I don't know yet.

[1598] there's something shaming about watching other people have sex there's something taboo about that so if I admit so if I'm around somebody who reminds me of the fact that I that's why I've always thought it would be the height of hypocrisy whenever people judge porn stars it's like you judge porn stars you watch porn porn porn is a multi -billion dollar industry let's be honest all of us watch it all of us jerk off to it I did I did my share of it.

[1599] You stopped a week ago.

[1600] My father one time looked at my my iPad and he goes, the fuck is this porn, porn, what is it?

[1601] Like my search history was so full of sin.

[1602] Your dad was looking to your search?

[1603] He was trying to, he put something in.

[1604] He was snooping.

[1605] No, and he saw this, he goes, what is all this?

[1606] I go, I go, look at him, I went, I went, I watched porn.

[1607] He went like this.

[1608] And he went on to, he was looking for something.

[1609] You should really get uncomfortable with him.

[1610] What is your favorite to watch?

[1611] Exactly.

[1612] I don't, listen, you know, I'm sure he does too.

[1613] I'm sure he does, everybody does, but here's the thing.

[1614] When you're in a presence of porn people, typically if you are, if they're part of your crew, you're, they remind people of sort of their darker side.

[1615] And I think that's why they become also, by the way, though, the kind of person that's willing to do that might be more self -destructive usually than the average person in that sense.

[1616] Yeah, I guess.

[1617] I don't know.

[1618] Yeah.

[1619] I mean, you always have to leave the door open to aberrations, but there was something that I read about, it was a real bummer.

[1620] The number of women that get into porn that have been sexually molested is off the charts.

[1621] Yes.

[1622] Although I've met, I'm thinking of two in particular, Alana Evans, who I got to know, who is as normal and as cool a fucking human being as it gets.

[1623] She's just I love her.

[1624] She's a great person.

[1625] She just is.

[1626] And Asa Akira, Asa is smart as fuck and a regular, like, in every, it's, I kept looking at her going, what's going on here?

[1627] You're just just, she's read everything.

[1628] She's, you know, she just seems incredibly well adjusted, but she has that side of her.

[1629] So I don't know.

[1630] She does ferocious gangbangs.

[1631] Yes.

[1632] Yes.

[1633] Where it's like all her mascara's gone.

[1634] Correct.

[1635] She's covered in cock's not.

[1636] Never, never watched one of her porn's, but yes.

[1637] Congratulations.

[1638] Yeah.

[1639] Because you respect her.

[1640] No, I'm just, I mean, I like her.

[1641] I just haven't watched it.

[1642] I got it.

[1643] Maybe I will now.

[1644] Maybe that'll break your three -day fast.

[1645] Exactly.

[1646] Exactly.

[1647] Yeah, I don't know.

[1648] It's a weird one because it is like sort of universally taboo, but yet you almost universally consumed.

[1649] Yeah.

[1650] These are very contradictory things.

[1651] It is.

[1652] Very much.

[1653] Nicole Aniston, Stevie Blue Eyes, my boy, you know, Stevie, he dates Nicole.

[1654] Aniston and now does porn with her.

[1655] No. Oh, yeah.

[1656] Oh, yeah.

[1657] When did this happen?

[1658] Stevie goes from crime to stand up to porn.

[1659] He's doing porn with Nicole Aniston.

[1660] With his girlfriend.

[1661] She's a beautiful girl.

[1662] She's a beautiful girl.

[1663] And again, very good businesswoman has other investments.

[1664] You talk to her and like she's gorgeous, but you'd never think, like I've had long, lucid conversations with this person.

[1665] She's just not, it just doesn't make.

[1666] So Stevie's showing his cock to the world.

[1667] Stevie's got a fucking piece on her.

[1668] A piece on him?

[1669] Are you fucked?

[1670] Does he call himself Stevie Blue Eyes in his porn?

[1671] I don't think so.

[1672] I don't know.

[1673] Do you still let him open for you or is he tainted now?

[1674] I want to.

[1675] No, I'd fucking, I love that guy.

[1676] Even after he does porn, people see his heart?

[1677] I don't give a fuck.

[1678] You should be careful.

[1679] He's hilarious.

[1680] I don't give a shit.

[1681] This is not good.

[1682] It's just not good.

[1683] It's a bad look.

[1684] Now, Stevie's always welcome.

[1685] You can't have some porn star open for you.

[1686] I definitely.

[1687] Now I want him.

[1688] I want him even more now.

[1689] My, I use Malik B. You should be a director.

[1690] You should be a director.

[1691] and come in and dress like an old -timey director.

[1692] How's an old -timey director dress?

[1693] Well, I would dress the way an old -time French director dresses, which would be I would have knickers, I would have boots, I'd have a beret, and I'd have a cane.

[1694] Cain, like a cattle, like a, no, a riding crop.

[1695] Yes!

[1696] A fucking riding crop.

[1697] So be dressed like an equestrian, but I'm not an equestrian.

[1698] Like an equestrian.

[1699] Yes.

[1700] And maybe even have a, like, instead of a bray, a hard riding hat.

[1701] Yes.

[1702] And action.

[1703] And scene.

[1704] Why don't they, could they talk you into doing something where you don't have sex, but you are a comedic relief in a porn film?

[1705] Would you be interested in doing that?

[1706] I would do that, maybe.

[1707] Would you?

[1708] Probably.

[1709] Would ABC get mad at you?

[1710] Oh, you on ABC?

[1711] Yeah, I'm on ABC.

[1712] ABC is very conservative.

[1713] Well, they're owned by Disney.

[1714] Oh, yeah.

[1715] Yeah.

[1716] But then again, hopefully they don't listen to the fighter and kid.

[1717] Well, hopefully they don't listen to this.

[1718] Yeah.

[1719] Because we're trying to set it up.

[1720] action I had a director one time I was doing the scene and he goes I don't believe you I don't believe you I don't believe you Brian I don't believe you I don't believe in the city no it was on mad TV really yeah a director on Matt TV is taking it seriously I had a director on Oz say that he goes I can see acting he whispered hey I can see you acting try something different I was like try something different yeah he was right well you are acting yeah you should play dumb I don't know what you're saying I'm supposed to be acting, right?

[1721] If you don't want me to act, I'll go home.

[1722] What?

[1723] You should have focused on stand -up.

[1724] Yes.

[1725] Well, you did eventually.

[1726] I love it.

[1727] But you do, you like the acting, too.

[1728] You're a weirdo.

[1729] You like those people, too.

[1730] You secretly like those acting people.

[1731] The ones that I disdain.

[1732] I don't know about that.

[1733] You bring them around sometimes and I get grossed out.

[1734] I don't know if that's true.

[1735] I have to slowly make my way to the door.

[1736] I don't think I brought any actors right.

[1737] You don't anymore.

[1738] How long ago?

[1739] It's been a while.

[1740] Yeah.

[1741] You used to bring them around.

[1742] Yeah, not really.

[1743] They're like, hey, what the fuck is this?

[1744] Who's this guy?

[1745] Get this.

[1746] I'm not comfortable on this guy.

[1747] You got to be right there.

[1748] I don't want to be rude.

[1749] I don't like this guy.

[1750] Bro, but you would bring the worst.

[1751] Like, full -on liars, sociopaths, complete pathological liars.

[1752] Liars.

[1753] I collected misfits.

[1754] But they would just lie about stuff.

[1755] Maybe they were just nervous around you.

[1756] But they would just make up stories, though.

[1757] You can't do that.

[1758] You can't just make up stories.

[1759] No, you can't.

[1760] And you know, someone makes up a story and it's so obviously like, what are you saying?

[1761] But I would have to be.

[1762] I would pick up on it and you would go like this.

[1763] I remember one time you and I were doing some, we were shooting something for as a favor and we're getting our makeup.

[1764] And this guy was talking and he was dating, he was actually dating some porn chick and you were listening to him.

[1765] And in front of everybody, in front of him and everybody, you went like this, you went, holy shit, what a bullshit artist.

[1766] Wow, you're a real bullshit artist, huh?

[1767] And it got all weird in the room.

[1768] I was like, oh, here goes Joe.

[1769] Here goes Joe, hunkering down.

[1770] And when someone starts lying to you, just lying to you in front of a bunch of people, and I think I remember this story.

[1771] I think the guy was very criminal, too.

[1772] No bit.

[1773] It was something like, it was angling to get something out of us and lying.

[1774] I was like, I know where this is going.

[1775] You're trying to get something out of us and you're lying.

[1776] Like, you're a bullshit artist.

[1777] Yes.

[1778] And I was like, we're stopping this right now because you're going to dominate this whole day and then you're going to want us to invest in something or give you money.

[1779] There was some hustle.

[1780] You stopped them right away.

[1781] Yeah, well, there was some gross sort of semi -aggressive hustle to what he was doing, and he was lying to us.

[1782] Yes.

[1783] And I was like, this isn't true.

[1784] Yes.

[1785] But you called him on it.

[1786] Record scratch.

[1787] It was great.

[1788] Well, it was one of those moments where this whole day could go to shit, because we're trapped in this building with his liar.

[1789] Right.

[1790] There's so many of them out here.

[1791] That's so good to know.

[1792] I don't have that antenna because I just trust people immediately.

[1793] That was an obvious one.

[1794] That was obvious.

[1795] That was obvious.

[1796] It was a criminal one.

[1797] There's some guys that are like, they're criminal.

[1798] Sociopaths.

[1799] Yeah, but they're, they're angling.

[1800] And if you don't stop it right there, they're going to get your number, they're going to get your email, they're going to get you this, they're going to get you this.

[1801] I want to make this meeting.

[1802] I'm real tight friends with Tom Cruise or this guy or that guy.

[1803] And it's always that.

[1804] Yeah.

[1805] Like name dropping.

[1806] Like if you named, is that ever worked?

[1807] Does that work?

[1808] No. That's the weirdest.

[1809] Name dropping is one of the weirdest things that people do that doesn't work.

[1810] Yeah.

[1811] It's so sad and strange.

[1812] But it doesn't work.

[1813] No. But yet people do it.

[1814] It's a weird one, right?

[1815] Yep.

[1816] Like fame by association.

[1817] Yep.

[1818] It never works.

[1819] It never works.

[1820] Yeah.

[1821] But people do it.

[1822] And then when people like, yeah, you know, I'm real good friends with Leo.

[1823] They're like these first name.

[1824] I don't want to be that guy.

[1825] That's the other.

[1826] I don't want to be all due respect.

[1827] I don't want to be the good friend to the big celebrity.

[1828] Unless you do something completely different, you know, unless you do something that's completely outside of the business.

[1829] Well, if you don't need that person, if you're not part of their entourage.

[1830] Yeah, like maybe David Sinclair talks about, I was friends with you.

[1831] That kind of thing.

[1832] Yeah.

[1833] I know Brian Callan.

[1834] I'm friends with that.

[1835] I like that.

[1836] And people are like, oh, well, you're a respected Harvard psychologist or biologist.

[1837] Well, I got very excited when Lex Friedman came to my show and, I mean, yeah, he's a fucking brainiac.

[1838] MIT scientists.

[1839] A legitimate genius.

[1840] Yeah.

[1841] And a black belt and judo and jiu -and -jitsu.

[1842] Yeah.

[1843] Yeah.

[1844] Great guy.

[1845] But that is, that's different.

[1846] That's someone who's accomplished in a different realm.

[1847] it's the people that are in that business that are like trying to be producers or trying to be a this or trying to be a that it's like there's so much weirdness going on out here in terms of like people being inauthentic did I tell you the story about how I was in Boston at the Wilbur and then we went to this club I'd tell you where there were these three Ethiopian guys and my buddy's girlfriend's Ethiopian I tell you the story I don't think so so I'm with Lex Friedman Black Belt I'm with my other boy Rob who's a Black Belt 6 .4 .2 .30.

[1848] I'm with Brian Cooley, who owns Gracie Baja in, uh, fucking, uh, Nashville.

[1849] He's 6 -6 -270.

[1850] Yeah, 6 -6 -270.

[1851] A Viking.

[1852] A fucking Viking.

[1853] Where's his hair and a point until a blonde giant?

[1854] Um, 42 years old and still competes in Jiu -Jitsu.

[1855] Um, and then, uh, and then I got my boy, Malik B, who came out of Mayweather's camp, boxed wildcard forever.

[1856] He's been throwing her right hands and he was seven.

[1857] And Mollick has his Ethiopian girlfriend.

[1858] And there are these four little Ethiopian dudes who are drunk and being shitheads.

[1859] And actually kind of dancing with the girls that are in the group and they had to be pushed away a couple times.

[1860] Anyway, finally the guy comes up to Mollick and says, that girl belongs to us because she's our sister and you.

[1861] And Mollick's black, but he's like fucking from Louisiana.

[1862] Right.

[1863] And so Mollick, who's been fighting as though like goes, what?

[1864] He goes, oh, Jesus.

[1865] He doesn't say anything.

[1866] He's just too happy.

[1867] He just goes, whatever.

[1868] And I go, what do he say?

[1869] And I go, what are you saying to us?

[1870] And the guy goes, that's our sister.

[1871] She shouldn't be with you guys.

[1872] She's with us.

[1873] And the Ethiopian girl, Helena goes, you're being disrespectful.

[1874] So Brian Cooley, said they don't know that they're surrounded by literally four black belts, a great boxer.

[1875] And then me, the idiot, the loudmouth, who's probably going to be the first guy to throw a punch because I'm insecure.

[1876] So we're all there.

[1877] And these.

[1878] four guys who are maybe five, seven, never done a sport in their life.

[1879] And Brian Cooley just looks down and a guy goes, hey, bro, you know the movie Jaws?

[1880] Jaws?

[1881] And the guy goes, huh?

[1882] And he goes, the movie Jaws.

[1883] You know that movie?

[1884] And the guy goes, yeah?

[1885] And he goes, right now in this scenario, you're the girl.

[1886] You guys are the girls swimming in the water.

[1887] You understand?

[1888] You're swimming in the water and you got no idea you're about to be pulled under.

[1889] Do you understand what I'm saying?

[1890] And he's just giant looking down.

[1891] And then you see the human guy I go, and he sees the circle kind of tightening, and he just looks at everybody, he goes, he just goes like this.

[1892] He goes, oh, gives a double thongs on.

[1893] At least he's smart.

[1894] Oh, fuck, yeah.

[1895] And his friends were like, ah, and they were drawn and just kind of moved away in a group.

[1896] It would have been so bad for them.

[1897] Men and egos.

[1898] So bad for them.

[1899] That's the greatest metaphor.

[1900] You know the fucking movie draws.

[1901] Well, that's John Jock's metaphor.

[1902] Oh, it is?

[1903] Yeah, John Jock's metaphor for Jiu -Jitsu.

[1904] Oh, fuck.

[1905] Yeah.

[1906] Well, he said the ground is the ocean.

[1907] and I'm a shark and most people can't swim.

[1908] You know, I train with Higgin.

[1909] Oh, he's great.

[1910] Oh, the best.

[1911] He's got some very controversial system where he's teaching people, celebrities, jujitsu, and giving them belts, but they don't really spar.

[1912] Well, they're celebrities, I will always spar.

[1913] Here's the thing.

[1914] He taught me a lot of Greco, like Greco stuff, which was really cool.

[1915] I love that shit.

[1916] Higgins is a beast, man. Oh, my God.

[1917] In 2003, in Abu Dhabi, I was doing time for him in Sao Paulo.

[1918] I was holding the time.

[1919] He allowed, tell me how much time, because he wasn't in the best of shape, so he would, like, conserve his energy.

[1920] Of course.

[1921] He's just so technical he could get away with, you know, beating, like, really good guys without being in tip -top condition.

[1922] I'm sure.

[1923] You ever see the video of him rolling with Hickson, fighting with Hickson?

[1924] No. Yeah, there's a famous jujitsu film.

[1925] It's in black and white, and it's probably from, shit, 89 or 1990 or some shit, like pre -UFC.

[1926] and they're in Rio at a jiu -jitsu a jiu -jitsu tournament back when there was no jiu -jitsu what year is this what does it say Higgen had 360 fights Jamie it just said it 86 86 look at this 86 man so this is like me when I was just getting out of high school wow it's Hickson on the bottom Higin on top Look at how relaxed the Higgs dude Higin at the time was a fucking beast Higin's way by the way he is he is he is and this is a real battle it's a really interesting match to watch as well because they're both so technical hegan studied so many other things he was an amateur boxer for a long time and then he uh but he did a lot of wrestling with guys rolled to try to get hickson's back he keeps getting hickson's back but he gets shook off oh shit he rolls him over yeah hegan was a big fella yeah big and strong 210 to 20 look at this though hickson on top wow hickson rolled them i mean these guys they they really went for it too.

[1927] This is a, it was a really wild sort of a match with a lot of scrambles.

[1928] I didn't know this.

[1929] Yeah, you should watch it.

[1930] It's really interesting.

[1931] I didn't know it was 86.

[1932] I would have guessed it was 90 or 91.

[1933] Now, the game has changed so much since, right?

[1934] It has.

[1935] But not fundamentals?

[1936] Yes, but the guys who have exceptionally sharp fundamentals still dominate.

[1937] Like Hodger Gracie, he's, you know, Hondra's never been a guy who adopts like the new aspects.

[1938] Look at that.

[1939] Weep by Hegan, but Hicks encountered.

[1940] Hodger's never been a guy who adopted a lot of the crazy new techniques.

[1941] Hodgers, like, Roger Gracie's all, I don't actually, he calls himself Roger or Hodger, I'm not sure, but he's like straight up old school arm bar, pass, triangle, like just that system of fundamentals.

[1942] Yeah, the fundamental.

[1943] The fundamentals are a good way to say.

[1944] If you watch really good wrestlers, they do the same, like high level wrestlers, they're not doing, they're still doing ankle picks, they're still, they're still controlling the head and the hips, they're still double and single -legging.

[1945] John Jacques has a way of talking about it.

[1946] He said, the more Jiu -Jitsu I know, the less I use.

[1947] Wow.

[1948] Yeah.

[1949] Yeah.

[1950] It says I use like five things.

[1951] Yeah.

[1952] Yeah.

[1953] And it's...

[1954] It's timing.

[1955] Yeah.

[1956] Did you ever see when John Jock first started competing in Abu Dhabi?

[1957] He was one of the first Ghee champions to do no Ghi and be really successful because Jean -Jacques was born with a genetic deficiency in his left hand.

[1958] he doesn't have a left hand he just has a thumb right and so because of that he never relied on grabbing things he never relied on grabbing the ghee he relied on a more greco -roman based style of underhooks and underhooks so when he would roll with those guys it's like good there's nothing to grab i never grabbed anything anyway wow and so he just dominate people like even guys like saukurai who's a you know a top -level m -mama guy just fucking ran through him sarahara sarah Yeah, he ran right through him.

[1959] He ran right through a bunch of guys.

[1960] So cool.

[1961] Yeah.

[1962] And it's, you know, those guys that do that style, like Jean -Jacques style is the same way, man. He's never been like a guy who does a lot of wild, fancy stuff.

[1963] Yeah.

[1964] But there's a lot of guys who do wild fancy stuff that are, like, super successful with that, too.

[1965] Look, there are great boxers.

[1966] Great boxers that use ones and twos the whole fucking fight.

[1967] Oh, yeah.

[1968] They might throw two hooks.

[1969] Yeah, sure.

[1970] I mean, you know.

[1971] Just just finding something.

[1972] What's that Bruce Lee expression?

[1973] Don't beware of the man who knows 10 ,000 techniques.

[1974] Beware of the man who knows one thing that he's practiced 10 ,000 times.

[1975] Well, it's like the Book of Five Rings.

[1976] Mium Mutamashi talks about, like, the practicing, real sword fighting literally is reaching and you have time for one strike.

[1977] Yeah.

[1978] Like, and that's what he would practice over and over.

[1979] Yeah.

[1980] I mean, he said very rarely does ever a fight, a sword fight, go to a duel, like a ching, ching, that doesn't happen.

[1981] And that shit is like, it's final.

[1982] When Musashi fought so many people, he'd get bored, and he started fighting people with oars.

[1983] What?

[1984] Yeah, he made wooden swords out of oars, and he would fight people with oars.

[1985] Well, he had a famous school where they would practice, like, you know, where it was basically as realistic practice as you get.

[1986] Yeah.

[1987] He said the only way to practice for that is that mindset.

[1988] God damn.

[1989] Imagine realistic practice with swords.

[1990] He would do things like get you, like, if you were about the thing, he would turn you toward the sun, so the sun was in your eyes.

[1991] Oh, yeah.

[1992] He was very, and he would also show up really late.

[1993] Really?

[1994] He's into showing up really late.

[1995] And use two swords?

[1996] Yeah, hours late.

[1997] Yeah.

[1998] Hours late.

[1999] So you'd be freaking out for hours while he's taking a nap.

[2000] Because the guy would be waiting on the beach and then he would show up hours late and he wouldn't even have a sword.

[2001] Just use an oar and fuck you up with an oar.

[2002] What?

[2003] Yeah, because oars are longer.

[2004] So you've got this sword and you're standing there with a sword and this guy comes out with a long stick and just fucking cracks you over the head with it.

[2005] It's not a good thing.

[2006] Well, he was a big man, too.

[2007] He was an interesting guy, man. I mean, to understand what it takes to defeat more than 60 men in one -on -one combat.

[2008] Well, it's also not combat.

[2009] This is life and death shit.

[2010] This is like, you know, a sword play, getting cut with a sword's not.

[2011] Swords are not terribly forgiving.

[2012] Bullets are more forgiving than is a sword.

[2013] Yeah, in a lot of ways, right?

[2014] You get, you're not walking away from a bloody throat.

[2015] It's also a very personal way.

[2016] Oh, dude.

[2017] Dude, you can hear, you feel and hear and see them breathing.

[2018] I mean, everything.

[2019] Someone's head just falls and their body still standing up.

[2020] God damn.

[2021] And then their body collapses.

[2022] Or you cut their arm off.

[2023] Oh!

[2024] Yeah, imagine living in the day where that shit was going on all the time.

[2025] Oh, my God, France.

[2026] In France, there were so many duels.

[2027] People would walk around with swords, and there was a time in France where you'd see people with like, they'd lose, they'd have no ear, they'd have constant scars or no nose.

[2028] That was like a sort of a badge of honor for Nazis.

[2029] Nazis had dueling scars.

[2030] Did you know that?

[2031] No. Oh, my God.

[2032] Pull up Nazi dueling scars.

[2033] Now, here's where it gets really weird.

[2034] A lot of the Operation paperclip scientists that the United States brought over from Nazi Germany.

[2035] When Nazi Germany was defeated in World War II, the United States took on all their scientists and brought them over to work for NASA.

[2036] Werner von Braun.

[2037] Werner von Braun, the head of NASA was a fucking.

[2038] and straight up, complete 100 % Nazi.

[2039] In fact, the Saifen Wiesenthal Center said that if he was alive today, they would prosecute him for crimes against humanity.

[2040] He was a real Nazi.

[2041] Him and his cabinet, all those fucking guys, they brought over the hall of these massive cheek scars.

[2042] Really?

[2043] Yeah, they had scars all over their face.

[2044] From duels.

[2045] From duels.

[2046] They would wear goggles, and they would wear, like, you know, like some kind of protection on their body, and their faces would get sliced open.

[2047] Wow.

[2048] And they relished it.

[2049] It was like a cool thing to have, like a big scar in your face.

[2050] So who showed us that?

[2051] Do you remember who shows up?

[2052] I don't know, but as I'm doing that, something popped up that I hadn't seen before.

[2053] It's actually called modern academic fencing or the menser in German.

[2054] I love combat.

[2055] It's slightly different, though, they're not just like fighting to fight.

[2056] Yeah.

[2057] There's no winner or loser in it.

[2058] Well, that's interesting.

[2059] But what I want to see is just pull up the images of Nazi dueling scars because they're horrific.

[2060] Like these guys like post -dual Look at that one guy with the goggles on With his face slashed open See that down there?

[2061] Yeah look at that Look at that They'd cut their face like that Dude yeah So you'd have something that covered your nose And your eyes and look at it He's got a giant slash in his forehead A giant slash in his face They're using real...

[2062] Yeah see that guy with the blue arrow on his face Like that kind of shit Those scars on the faces They would all have those Click on that guy with the Right there Look at that They all had those kind of scars on their face from dueling it was a big look at that guy below him lower right below him right below him right below him the big image the big yeah right there look at that guy's face see they all had those kind of scars on their face and it was like to let everyone know these were bad motherfuckers that would you know have duels with swords that's crazy yeah it was really really common man menser is that what you're talking about jammy yeah yeah emm S -U -R and what's that stand for again it's academic fencing so like it's us trying to get it was in college they did all this i bet yeah fucking crazy man the bragging scar menser scars or the bragging scar yeah but there's some there's some horrific pictures of these guys like post match where they were trying to piece their face back together again and you could see like they're literally like see inside their face see their teeth and everything because their cheeks been split open damn yeah and it was really common and so a lot of the nazi that they brought over from Operation Paperclip to run NASA had these fucking scars in their faces.

[2063] So they'd be sitting there with Werner von Braun and JFK and you'd see this guy with this giant face scar.

[2064] Yeah, it's crazy.

[2065] Swords, man. Yeah, and they had those long, I think it was it called it, what did they call it, a rapier or something like that?

[2066] Rapier, yeah, a rapier.

[2067] Oh, it calls it parisier.

[2068] It's a different version of it.

[2069] But they had those long, pointy swords.

[2070] Yeah, so you get, you know, It takes this, pat.

[2071] Yeah, and your nose is gone.

[2072] Fuck bad.

[2073] Yeah, fuck that.

[2074] But they all, like, wanted to get scarred up.

[2075] Of course.

[2076] It's like a cauliflower ear.

[2077] I guess.

[2078] And it's all as oldest time.

[2079] It's as oldest time.

[2080] Young men.

[2081] Yeah.

[2082] Young men, wanting to be, wanting to prove.

[2083] Look at that.

[2084] They went into battle.

[2085] Young men go into battle with full of ideas of linear ideas of duty and honor and glory.

[2086] And then, unfortunately, war can many times make a mockery of that.

[2087] War is obviously a fight.

[2088] and insane and chaotic and unfair and not linear and crazy and horrifying and all those things and and and lacks dignity and all those things you know you see that a lot it seems it seems to me that when a lot of soldiers i've spoken to had real combat experience when they come out of that they it's very difficult for them there's a lot to come to terms with and sometimes they have a lot of trouble bringing their life back into into a linear.

[2089] How could it go from one way of life where everything is life and death?

[2090] Yeah.

[2091] Every corner you turn around, it could be the end.

[2092] Every day that you're out there could be the end.

[2093] Well, we, as that's one thing, life and death is, again, linear and bilateral, but, you know, there are a lot of things that happen.

[2094] You keep saying, but what are you're saying?

[2095] There are certain concepts when we as human beings, I think, most of us have a contract with life.

[2096] you know, you grow up and you say, if I work hard and I keep swinging, I'm going to, it's going to pay dividends, right?

[2097] And most of us live that way.

[2098] Most of us believe in fair play.

[2099] Like something about the universe is somewhat fair.

[2100] The universe rewards hustle.

[2101] The universe rewards.

[2102] You know, we have these ideas and we have to believe in those ideas.

[2103] And usually we're right about it, right?

[2104] It's almost like we enter a game where we know I can jab and I can punch and I can hook.

[2105] But sometimes you get fucking.

[2106] kicked in the face.

[2107] And you go, but that wasn't the rule I was playing with.

[2108] You know, and it's like, hold on.

[2109] I was boxing and you're doing MMA.

[2110] Right.

[2111] And life does that to you.

[2112] War can do that to you to a point where you lose your faith in.

[2113] Who wrote where the wild things are?

[2114] I never forgot.

[2115] He said, are you a religious?

[2116] And he said, no, I'm an atheist.

[2117] The war took care of that for me. You know, he saw too many things.

[2118] He saw too many children starve and die and all those things.

[2119] And I think that when things get bad enough in war, when you get that close to reality and that close to that chaos, whatever contract you had gets shattered.

[2120] In fact, it gets mocked.

[2121] You are mocked by the insanity of it all.

[2122] And any notion, so when I say linear, what I mean is sort of like, I'll do this if you do this for me. So it's a give and take, cause and effect.

[2123] Did you ever see The Unforgiven?

[2124] I did.

[2125] I love that movie.

[2126] Do you remember when he kills Gene Hackman and Gene Hackman can't believe that he's going to die?

[2127] it's not supposed to happen to him that's what they say sociopaths when they get when sociopaths get convicted of life oftentimes what happens is they look up and they go what wait what me and it all comes down because what a sociopath like that a criminal sociopath usually believes is it's impossible they'll never get caught because they're too smart is it because they're too smart or they think the world revolves around them and so the idea of them being punished.

[2128] Well, Hitler, you know, according to historian, I can't remember his name, Buckwold, Buckholz, he said, I think it was John Buckles had said, Hitler was so colossally self -involved, self -centered that he truly believed that when the war was lost and he came to the realization of the war was lost, he expected Germany to self -immulate.

[2129] He expected Germany, all Germans, to burn themselves, to kill themselves and light themselves on fire, essentially.

[2130] He expected that from the German people because he was going to do it.

[2131] He actually said that?

[2132] Yes.

[2133] And he was going to do that.

[2134] That is, according to Buckholtz, the historian who follows his stuff.

[2135] Jesus Christ.

[2136] Yeah.

[2137] And that's not uncommon for the great sociopaths, the great, you know, I mean, if you think about Genghis Khan, he had, he truly believed.

[2138] that and almost did, that he could dominate and own the entire world.

[2139] These people like Alexander the Great and those kind of people who were clearly, I'm sure their enemies didn't think of them as so great.

[2140] But they had this force of nature, this ability to believe in themselves to the point where they were going to own the world.

[2141] And some of them almost did.

[2142] Well, if you think about it, any kind of thing where you're trying to conquer something, say if you have a small tribe and there's another tribe that's close to the river and they have more resources and you're in dispute with them and you try to conquer that tribe.

[2143] That is one level of this game, right?

[2144] We're going to get our warriors together and we're going to sneak in the middle of the night.

[2145] We're going to attack them.

[2146] Maybe.

[2147] Yeah.

[2148] But the point is, there's that level.

[2149] So let's say, let's not call it a game, but let's say this is an endeavor.

[2150] This is a thing that you're doing.

[2151] With anything that anybody does, some people take it way further, right?

[2152] Like some people try an open mic night and they go, this is kind of interesting.

[2153] I'll do stand -up every now and then.

[2154] They do it once a month.

[2155] Other people, they get obsessed.

[2156] They do it every fucking day and they do 10 sets a day and they live in New York City and they take fucking cabs everywhere and Uber's and they do, you know, and they live it.

[2157] They're like Mark Norman, right?

[2158] They live it.

[2159] That's the same thing with war.

[2160] It's the same thing with everything.

[2161] Same thing with fighting.

[2162] Yeah.

[2163] Same thing with everything.

[2164] Yeah.

[2165] You know, some people just, they become obsessed.

[2166] It becomes everything.

[2167] It becomes their everything.

[2168] And they don't care about anything else.

[2169] They don't care about other people.

[2170] They don't care about the environment.

[2171] Yeah, that's trying to get really good at something.

[2172] But I think some people try to literally remake the world in their image.

[2173] I think so too, but I think that obsession carries on.

[2174] I think the obsession to conquer a neighboring tribe or to take over a town or to conquer a city or a country or a continent.

[2175] There's just weird things that people do where they take things as far as they can.

[2176] be taken.

[2177] And they do that even with war.

[2178] That scares the shit out of me with China.

[2179] It really does because they, they oh, here's something I wanted to talk about.

[2180] This is something I sent you, Jamie.

[2181] That 20 million cell phone users are missing from China.

[2182] Where does that stat come from?

[2183] Is that an American stat?

[2184] This is what they don't know.

[2185] They don't know if this means there's 20 million casualties because it also coincides with their switch to 5G.

[2186] They switched from 5G in January.

[2187] So from January to March, China lost 20 million cell phone users.

[2188] Now, what does that mean, though?

[2189] It's hard to tell.

[2190] But I think you could safely say whatever they say the casualty number is is bullshit.

[2191] Exactly.

[2192] That's pretty safe because they've been bullshitting left and right about the whole thing.

[2193] You know, they go on Twitter, there's some branch of the government that's involved.

[2194] and propaganda is trying to say this is the United States government creation.

[2195] Yeah, of course.

[2196] The Chinese are incredibly practical.

[2197] The Chinese, you know, a lot of people, and I'm speaking of the government, of course, but I think when you live in a society that has been essentially communist or really at the mercy of a central authority and the all powerful central authority for so long.

[2198] Forever.

[2199] It's also, that's a society that treated religion with great disdain and sense.

[2200] suspicion.

[2201] So they didn't really have, even though there are small pockets of these different, but for the most part, I think when you forcibly rid a population of religion, what you are left with is something that takes its place.

[2202] Sure, an ideology like communism or whatever, but they're not really communist anymore.

[2203] But I do think what happens is you get a population that deals in practicality, that is, I'm sure, very good to each other when they know somebody that is, but also deals and things like cause and effect.

[2204] Not so much the over, then one of the things a friend of mine, I'm speaking for a friend of mine who does a lot of business, billions of dollars in business with China.

[2205] And another friend, in fact, who does a lot of business with China, and did so, and speaks fluent Chinese.

[2206] Both of them had something, an interesting observation, which was that when you speak about morality in a Judeo -Christian way, when you think about, you say, well, that's just the wrong way to do it, that in dealing in business with a Chinese company is not necessarily, that's not really the way to approach business.

[2207] They are way more practical than that.

[2208] That doesn't mean that the average Chinese person is not moral or ethical.

[2209] I don't know.

[2210] But certainly, you will get burned if you are playing by the rules that you are used to, which would be, just don't do it because it's not the right thing to do.

[2211] That's not going to find its way a lot of times when you're dealing in commerce with China.

[2212] Well, you're dealing with a military dictatorship, but thinks about things as the same way they think about war.

[2213] Correct.

[2214] They are not our ally.

[2215] They are, I believe they are our enemy to a large, I mean, they'll do whatever they can, I think, to get an upper hand.

[2216] They also now have enough wealth and they have a huge middle class where they can almost start, they're starting to become way more self -sufficient.

[2217] We don't have the symbiotic relationship we used to with China.

[2218] China doesn't need our consumers as much as they did, not even close.

[2219] They have their own consumers in their own country.

[2220] What's weird is that we need them.

[2221] What's weird is how much we need them for the manufacturing of medicine.

[2222] 97 % of all our antibiotics are made.

[2223] That is so crazy.

[2224] It's stupid.

[2225] How did we ever let that happen?

[2226] China and India.

[2227] And how did they ever let that happen?

[2228] Is it because they can save money?

[2229] It's more efficient.

[2230] Is it more efficient or is it more cost effective?

[2231] They're better at making it.

[2232] But why?

[2233] Because they're, because they have magic?

[2234] No, yes.

[2235] And why can't we do it?

[2236] Their factories are amazing.

[2237] They're incredibly efficient.

[2238] But the Chinese, see, people worry about the Chinese.

[2239] I don't think they'll ever be in our area code as innovators.

[2240] They steal from us.

[2241] They take our intellectual property, et cetera.

[2242] But that'll always be a catch -up game.

[2243] And part of the reason I think is that I love the quote from why nations fail.

[2244] I believe China, yes, they put their Uyghurs in concentration camps.

[2245] I went in Beijing.

[2246] The first thing they said is you cannot.

[2247] speak about the government.

[2248] If you say anything about the government, you will be sent home.

[2249] Oh, and by the way, here's a cell phone, Brian.

[2250] You can use WeChat.

[2251] You're not using your iPhone.

[2252] When was this?

[2253] This was when I did a movie this summer, two summers ago.

[2254] So they gave you a phone to use.

[2255] Uh -huh.

[2256] And they said you can't use your phone.

[2257] And you don't get on Google.

[2258] You have to find thousands of firewall.

[2259] You have to find all different ways to get over their firewalls because they controlled the internet there.

[2260] Make no mistake.

[2261] So can you use a VPN?

[2262] I don't know what that is.

[2263] virtual private network or ExpressVPN?

[2264] You try to do that and then they block that too, so you have to keep coming up with new ways.

[2265] I was right there with the production designer and assistant who was dealing with that issue.

[2266] So you're essentially at the mercy of their news.

[2267] Of course.

[2268] So here's the thing.

[2269] There's a great quote, and I've said it before, probably even on this podcast, and I love it.

[2270] You can hold a gun to a man's head and make him move a box or a rock.

[2271] You cannot hold a gun to a man's head and make him have a great idea.

[2272] and as long, any country, it's a great quote.

[2273] It's a great quote.

[2274] So China, Russia, you guys have great weapons and you have great power and manufacturing.

[2275] You will never be a country of great ideas because you oppress people and people can't give you motherfuckers the finger.

[2276] Xi is the most powerful man in China along with his people, his inner circle.

[2277] And if you in any way, look at the whistleblowers.

[2278] Isn't it interesting, the whistleblowers, the original whistleblowers on the coronavirus are dead, and they were doctors in their 30s.

[2279] Did they die of the disease?

[2280] Did they?

[2281] Or what happened?

[2282] A lot of the journalists, a lot of the journalists and a lot of those doctors were disappeared.

[2283] They just didn't, they're dead or they disappeared.

[2284] China can do that.

[2285] And somebody who lived there for their whole life, I was there, and he was an American and said, people get disappeared here all the time, dude.

[2286] You don't speak against the government.

[2287] It just doesn't happen.

[2288] And I think that's one of the great evils.

[2289] And that's what I worry about.

[2290] Any time we have a pandemic like this, where the government can just shut you down at the behest of scientists and doctors, I suppose, but I get very worried when someone like Gavin Newsom can say, nobody's going back to work for a month.

[2291] I'm not saying that right now that isn't a sound policy.

[2292] I just get very worried when the government has that kind of power to shut all of us down without a discussion.

[2293] Once they start with that kind of totalitarian power, it's very difficult to turn that off.

[2294] That's right.

[2295] It's for our own good.

[2296] If you study history, it's always for the people's good.

[2297] Well, that's what Edward Snowden is warning everybody about this now.

[2298] He should be.

[2299] Hitler, when he came to power, talked about that.

[2300] When he said, this is when I think there was a fire in the Reichstag, and he used these emergency.

[2301] Yeah, he used these emergency powers to suspend civil liberties.

[2302] They started the fire so that they could do that.

[2303] There was a false flag.

[2304] There you go.

[2305] Yeah, they did that.

[2306] It's the same way Nero burned Rome, the same reason.

[2307] Yeah.

[2308] It's the age old.

[2309] You know, so just...

[2310] Well, that's what the conspiracy theorists think that 9 -11 was.

[2311] Yeah.

[2312] Good for them.

[2313] I don't mind their...

[2314] I appreciate their paranoia.

[2315] I think that's American.

[2316] Yes.

[2317] I don't think that's a bad thing, and I think you should always be...

[2318] What's the fundamental question to political philosophy?

[2319] The fundamental question?

[2320] Who governs the governor?

[2321] Yes.

[2322] Very important.

[2323] Yes.

[2324] Who the fuck government?

[2325] Who's governing the governor?

[2326] I don't trust my government, and I shouldn't.

[2327] No, you shouldn't.

[2328] It's also, like, people that have power, like the kind of unchecked power that you see in China, they're not going to give that up.

[2329] Career politicians.

[2330] They're going to fight for it.

[2331] They're going to fight for it.

[2332] Well, you see that with career politicians.

[2333] You see that with this bill that they're trying to pass to help people that are dealing with this coronavirus because they can't work.

[2334] And they're slipping all kinds of stuff in there.

[2335] Like AOC and Bernie Sanders.

[2336] They're all trying to.

[2337] Yeah, they're all slipping things in there about the environment.

[2338] Of course.

[2339] It's like, hey, guys, we want to fucking solve a problem.

[2340] package.

[2341] But that is something the politicians do.

[2342] They utilize this moment to try to use it to leverage their own causes, their own pet causes, the things that they think are also important.

[2343] There are a group of people that did that with the invasion of Iraq.

[2344] When 9 -11 came along, they said, look, Iraq is harboring al -Qaeda terrorists.

[2345] They probably are getting weapons into the hands of people like Al -Qaeda.

[2346] There was a whole story that was woven up.

[2347] And that was a way of essentially crippling the fourth largest army in the world, which was Iraq and making our allies.

[2348] Did you ever hear the Bill Hicks bit?

[2349] He goes, they said, Bill, Iraq is the fourth largest army.

[2350] He goes, yeah, but after the first three, there's a real big drop off.

[2351] He's like the fifth largest is a salvation army.

[2352] It's so true.

[2353] Yeah.

[2354] They got a whole great bit about the size of armies well we've been in uh we were in afghanistan for uh how long was it guys he goes he goes hey bill they say bill it's a war when there's two armies fighting yeah he goes he goes but bill iraq is the fourth largest army in the world doesn't mean we won't stay there he had some great bits man some great points about shit yeah you thought outside the box that's what I'm always amazed at is how these things can carry on like if you somebody did a really cool funny thing about how every general in the Iraq in the Afghanistan theater every single every single year would say we are at a turning point where the Taliban will be under our control every every every time they would make a case for the Iraq war more money I'm sorry for the Afghan Afghan war more money more logistics all those things that it required more troops, the generals would say we are, it was always the same wording.

[2355] We're at a turning point and we are going to, we just need a little more.

[2356] Well, that's what they have to say.

[2357] But what's interesting is if they really did accomplish that, they'd actually cut off the honeypot.

[2358] Of course.

[2359] They wouldn't have the money coming on.

[2360] That's right.

[2361] That's the darkest conspiracy ever.

[2362] That war is prolonged in order to prop up the military industrial complex.

[2363] And what's really crazy about the military industrial complex is this, when they, There was Eisenhower talking about it on TV, which was really terrifying.

[2364] That was when the first people were introduced to this concept.

[2365] But Trump was talking about it recently.

[2366] You know, Trump's doing this thing.

[2367] He's like, well, you know, there's a military industrial complex and these guys want to go to war.

[2368] Like, he's just saying it's sort of casually, like, hey, man, who are you talking about?

[2369] Like, who are these fucking people?

[2370] There's a lot of money in it.

[2371] Oh, my God.

[2372] And not only that, there are other people, non -governmental organizations, too, that get rated by their burn rate.

[2373] So we're going to build a dam here.

[2374] Well, we don't need a dam here, but we're going to build it anyway because we're a lot of that money.

[2375] There's a lot of that goes on.

[2376] So that's why what's conspiracy theories, I'm way more apt to believe that the government is way more incompetent that it is competent.

[2377] It's just a massive bloated bureaucracy that doesn't run well.

[2378] And I know, I know guys.

[2379] I know there's a group of people controlling everything the fuck out of here.

[2380] There's a little bit of that.

[2381] There's definitely a lot of incompetence, but there's also a lot of collusion.

[2382] There's also a lot of people doing things specifically because they know it's profitable.

[2383] You can make money.

[2384] Yes.

[2385] And also, look, what they're doing at Bernie Sanders, try to keep him from winning the DNC or from winning the Democratic nomination.

[2386] They've conspired and they put a guy who literally is going seen on it.

[2387] That's what's shocking to me. In front of our eyes.

[2388] And they're trying to pretend it's not happening.

[2389] How about Amy Klobuchar?

[2390] She's great.

[2391] She didn't know who the president of Mexico was.

[2392] She had no idea what his name was.

[2393] Yes.

[2394] But she's doing it.

[2395] Mexico.

[2396] But she's a smart.

[2397] She's a smart woman who like I just think she's way more moderate and she seems articulate.

[2398] But Biden's 79.

[2399] Listen, just because someone seems articulate doesn't mean they should be the president.

[2400] True.

[2401] If you don't know who the president of Mexico is, maybe you haven't done enough studying.

[2402] Yeah.

[2403] Do you know who the president of Mexico is?

[2404] I have no idea.

[2405] I'm not trying to run for president.

[2406] I barely know the guy from Canada, the Trudeau guy.

[2407] I just know him because he's been busted with blackface.

[2408] I'm like, L .O .L. Well, his father was that was the long time.

[2409] Yes.

[2410] Listen, man, I don't think anybody should be president.

[2411] Really?

[2412] Yeah.

[2413] No, I think it's a terrible idea.

[2414] I think there's no way you really can be responsible for all those things.

[2415] There's no way you could really be well read on all the different variables and everything.

[2416] When it comes to economics, when it comes to the environment, when it comes to military operations, when it comes to the fucking energy and industry.

[2417] There's no fucking way one person.

[2418] It should be a large group of people that are.

[2419] that essentially have no stake in the game.

[2420] It should be people that have no ability to profit whatsoever.

[2421] They get a healthy income, and they cannot profit outside of that.

[2422] There should be some sort of a regulation.

[2423] And then after you're gone, it should be impossible for you to make speeches to banks, whether you get paid a half a million dollars.

[2424] Well, there's supposed to be a cooling off period.

[2425] And Elizabeth Warren wanted a two -year cooling off period.

[2426] I think right now there's only a six -month or an eight -month.

[2427] Like, if you work for, if you work for the Department of Defense, you can't go back to Raytheon or Boeing.

[2428] You know, you're not supposed to be able to go back for at least two years.

[2429] Oh, great.

[2430] And vice versa.

[2431] So two years, you go, man, two years, I'm going to be so rich.

[2432] Exactly.

[2433] Oh, boy, 24 months goes by quick.

[2434] Yes, it does.

[2435] It should be 200 years.

[2436] I agree.

[2437] It should be a large.

[2438] The Scientology contract.

[2439] Yeah.

[2440] Where it's billions and billions of years.

[2441] You can never do it.

[2442] Do you know that?

[2443] Yes, I know.

[2444] It's a billion -year contract.

[2445] That's a wonderful contract.

[2446] Yeah.

[2447] It's enforceable.

[2448] Yeah.

[2449] fucking one billion is there's one billion years one billion yeah man I don't know it's not there's anything wrong with Amy Klobuchar look I think Tulsi Gabbard was the most interesting I liked her too evolved to me and they shut her out quick as soon as she sank Kamala Harris like danger why did they shut her out though because the Kamala Harris thing they wanted Kamala Harris to win and she sank her in one debate yeah when she stated all those irrefutable facts and everybody's like whoa she's throwing bombs she did didn't she they they fucking cut her out of the mix after that they cut her out of the mix quick it's interesting man because it's obviously not let's see who the people choose it's let's manipulate the opinions of the public this is what the whole game of running a campaign is let's prop someone up let's make them look great let's have these ads with wonderful music and them standing they're looking presidential.

[2450] And then even in spite of all that, you've got this poor guy in Joe Biden that is experiencing dementia.

[2451] Is he 77 healthy?

[2452] Yes, and Bernie's older than him.

[2453] Bernie's 80 or he had a heart attack, right?

[2454] He had a fucking heart attack while he's on campaign.

[2455] That's a big problem.

[2456] Took a few days off and he's like, we're back.

[2457] Yeah.

[2458] We're back in for the people.

[2459] Look, Bernie at least believes what he says.

[2460] He's also, though, one of the knocks on him as people are like, he's not interested and if you ask him how are you going to pay for all this you're talking about Bernie looks at the world is right and wrong and it's a moral issue for him so and he is and he did take his honeymoon in the fucking Soviet Union say what you will I do believe the guy is essentially a closet communist oh yeah I said it son of a bitch I said it I said it and I always marvel at socialists it's not democratic socialist it's a different but I still marvel at the idea that if you really trust government again it comes down to are they as efficient as the marketplace?

[2461] In some ways, they might be, but in other ways, they may not be.

[2462] I don't know how, they're not doing a great job with the homeless situation in California, are they?

[2463] It's the worst job ever.

[2464] Yes.

[2465] They really fucked that up.

[2466] They're a lot of bad worst jobs.

[2467] I don't know if you can blame that on Democratic Socialists.

[2468] That's blamed on, it's actually a law that you can't remove someone from a place unless you have another place to bring them to.

[2469] Yes, yes.

[2470] And it was a law to protect poor people and people that were harassed.

[2471] And then it became a homeless law.

[2472] and now you go into the underpasses and this is my thing that I've always said like how come it's okay to litter for them like they're basically littering they have junk stacked up if you throw a fucking coffee cup rightly so out of window the cops should be able to pull you over and give you a fucking ticket and you should have to pay that goddamn ticket but if you are just tent and you have boxes and shit and cardboard all over the place you're allowed to do that and people have to leave you alone it's not good for them it's not good for anybody to allow these gigantic homeless encampments to appear under bridges.

[2473] And I don't know what the solution is, but I just think that alone.

[2474] Like, if you put that on the governor or the president or the mayor, God damn, that's a problem.

[2475] That's a problem that's going to take so much money.

[2476] It comes from opiates.

[2477] It comes from mental illness.

[2478] They're already 40 or 50 or whatever they are.

[2479] What are you going to fix them?

[2480] Do you know how hard it is to fix a person who's kind of got their shit together?

[2481] I know.

[2482] How hard is it to get Burke?

[2483] Christ should stop drinking.

[2484] It's so fucking true.

[2485] How hard is it to get a person who's got their shit together but has a problem?

[2486] Yeah.

[2487] Like, can't stop smoking cigarettes.

[2488] You know, can't stop gambling.

[2489] How many fucking people do you know that are like that?

[2490] I know.

[2491] All of our friends have one thing that they're just like fucking compelled.

[2492] Now imagine compounding that to 70 ,000 people that are at the bottom end of it.

[2493] So instead of at the top end of it, someone who makes a good living who has a family and has life insurance and is also a fuck up.

[2494] Instead of that, you've got someone who's never had anything.

[2495] Yeah.

[2496] And people have been fucking them over their whole life.

[2497] And they've been on drugs since they were young.

[2498] and they were sexually abused and physically abused and they went to juvenile home and then maybe they were in foster care and they were beaten and abused and then here they are at 40.

[2499] Their brains literally changed.

[2500] Yes.

[2501] There's an amazing fucking book by this guy named Joe Newman called Raising Lions I just read it.

[2502] Man, I wish I'd read this book when my kids were three.

[2503] This guy, they bring this guy in so in the past, I don't know if you know it's been in the past 10 years, bipolar disorder in children has been diagnosed 40 -fold.

[2504] Jesus Christ.

[2505] Now that doesn't mean, you know what the solution is typically in the psychiatric word medication medication then medication that's the third option and joe newman comes in a lot of times is a fucking great book and he comes in and essentially will say this kid's throwing tantrums and is impossible to deal with because he is profiting or she is profiting from that behavior there is there is there kids are way smarter than you think they are and he instills sort of a very very interesting approach that i've used and that that I fucking love the book.

[2506] It's a short, small book.

[2507] But when you think about, without going into the book and stuff, the reason I bring it up is when you think about, you can change, you can literally change a child's brain by with instilling certain behaviors, certain boundaries, certain protocols as a parent, as an adult, as an educator.

[2508] Because what you do is you get them to exercise self -control.

[2509] you get them to exercise a form of mood stabilization for themselves.

[2510] But you have to do it in a certain way.

[2511] When you don't do that with children, when you let them go crazy, freak out and put them in an isolation rooms.

[2512] A lot of times what we'll do is, there's nothing we're doing wrong.

[2513] We're not doing anything wrong as adults.

[2514] We're reasoning with them.

[2515] We're talking to them.

[2516] No, no. What we'll do is we'll medicate them because they're out of control.

[2517] And there is a window with children where you can actually let them keep going that path and they are basically, and then you put them on these mood stabilizers, you put them on psychotics, you put them on anti -convulsive drugs.

[2518] Sometimes they're on four medications that are in a row.

[2519] And he's had great success coming in and changing all that because what happened was you just weren't getting the kid to exercise the muscles of self -control.

[2520] And there's a way to do that.

[2521] It's a very simple, a very interesting book.

[2522] But what I'm saying is that there is a fucking window with kids where if you don't get to certain kids at a certain time with a good behaviorist you're in deep fucking shit and their whole life spirals out of control and then it goes into substance abuse and everything else so you're talking about now adults who've had all that abuse I mean it's I don't know what you would do I really don't know what the fuck you would do because they're self -medicating to begin with they're self -medicating to begin with they've been addicted to drugs most of their lives are all of their behavior has been formed while they're addicted to drugs this is a giant problem with people that are in their 40s and 50s who've been drug abusers their whole life.

[2523] Imagining a world with no drugs and no escape from reality and having to be accountable for your actions and then also having to deal with the things that have been done to you and to try to figure out a way to heal from your childhood and your life is over.

[2524] Your body's starting to fail you, right?

[2525] You've been abusing yourself for all these years.

[2526] And the idea that there's some simple solution to dealing with 70 ,000 people at various stages of that that are currently homeless.

[2527] Some of them that may be able to recover pretty quickly.

[2528] They're just on the street for a little bit.

[2529] They're going to get their shit together and they're going to get out of this.

[2530] They're determined.

[2531] There's a lot of people like that.

[2532] I think people vary wide.

[2533] Of course they do.

[2534] They vary so much.

[2535] But the addiction rate, if you look at the people that really follow this, the addiction rate and the amount of mental illness is very high.

[2536] And I think this is where I think like in Singapore you'd never in Singapore they'd just start be put in a in homes in you know I do think that there's something humane about taking people who are rolling their own shit up in a ball look I mean by the way you know schizophrenics those people need to be taken care of and they need to be I don't think it's a terrible thing to show up in a padded wagon and take them into be careful with that though yeah I know someone might say you're fucking crazy.

[2537] I know.

[2538] Scoop you up.

[2539] I know.

[2540] That's why I was on constitutional.

[2541] Well, yeah, that's why you move the boundaries, right?

[2542] And this is the argument against what we're saying, right?

[2543] You move the boundaries in any direction where it's not total freedom and then it can slide further from there.

[2544] That's the problem.

[2545] How do you define mental illness, right?

[2546] So that's when you say, well, you're mentally ill so you can't own a gun.

[2547] Well, people go, how do you define mental illness?

[2548] Do you define that as I had an anger management issue at my work once?

[2549] I suffered from depression.

[2550] Sometimes the most polarizing religion versus no religion.

[2551] There's people that think that if you are religious Do you have a mental health issue?

[2552] And there's people who are religious that think that if you're an atheist Do you have a mental health issue?

[2553] This is a like a very polarizing line in the sand that I've heard argued by intelligent people I've never heard that I've seen intelligent people that have blinders on that think that if you're an atheist you're a fool and you probably have a mental illness and you probably have this extreme belief in science of above God and above the laws of the Bible and they'll say it in this articulate way.

[2554] You're like, God, damn, this guy believes that.

[2555] He really believes that all atheists have a mental health problem.

[2556] So if you get a person who's in a position of power that can also run this ideology, they have this ideology, like one of the things that almost all presidents do, but particularly right -wing presidents, ever since Reagan started introducing the religious aspect of the right into, like, politics, They made it a big deal during the Reagan campaign.

[2557] You see that so many presidents, particularly on the right, have to talk about God.

[2558] They have to.

[2559] They have to talk about God.

[2560] It's a Christian nation still.

[2561] You bring people in.

[2562] This is where you're on my side.

[2563] I'm not on the God's side.

[2564] And you see that argument argued by many people who are like fevered Trump supporters.

[2565] The really, really wacky ones are like super into God wanting Trump to be our president.

[2566] And then you get this group of people, well, if they get into power and you've got some law in place that says that if you're mentally ill, you can be locked up.

[2567] How many steps does it have to take before it slides to you?

[2568] It might only take a few.

[2569] Yeah, and I agree.

[2570] I do like, where I like religious thought in discourse and even in policy, it's limited.

[2571] But I do like the idea that when you think that you can get human beings out of all problems using human rationality, mathematics, and science, you better be careful with that, too, because you can use math and rationality to justify some pretty horrific things as the Soviets and the Nazis did and everybody else.

[2572] So there is something really, really cool about, and Yuval Harari comes in on this, and so does Jonathan Haidt.

[2573] You know, there is something really kind of, one of the things Jonathan Haid says, we're all religious, all human beings are religious.

[2574] Some people are just religious about science.

[2575] Some people are religious about rationality at all costs.

[2576] Some people are religious about, you know.

[2577] So you'll, you'll, some people are religious about nutrition.

[2578] So you've got to remember, look at your, you got to take an inventory of your own brain and how you, how your belief system works as well.

[2579] Politics are as close to religion as you can get.

[2580] 100%.

[2581] People, there's also like rewards for adhering to one or the other ideology, especially in an aggressive way.

[2582] Because then you get rewarded for being the watchdog of either right -wing values or left -wing values, progressive values, conservative values.

[2583] Yeah.

[2584] We all do, man. People have done it.

[2585] It's a thing that we do.

[2586] There's a reward there.

[2587] You pick it up.

[2588] Well, I got a kick out of this COVID thing.

[2589] Whenever somebody says socialist, I go like this, I go, well, keep them away.

[2590] Get them away.

[2591] No, no socialists.

[2592] And I always, I have a very visceral reaction to people like AOC or Bernie Sanders because I think that they're socialists, right?

[2593] But having said that, this COVID disaster, which nobody saw coming, crippled the economy.

[2594] We, I know people who are very right, not right wing, but very market oriented people who said, we need this fucking two billion dollar stimulus.

[2595] That's a socialist measure.

[2596] You better, I was looking for the government for a bailout.

[2597] I don't need it, but I want that two trillion dollars in the system that had to be mandated by government politicians.

[2598] And in a COVID -19 scenario, guess what?

[2599] I'm a bit of a socialist.

[2600] You know, I find myself going, I think, I think the idea of there being one or the other, it should, there's two, these are too complex, too many super complex issues to lump on one side or the other.

[2601] It's too hard.

[2602] Right.

[2603] Like a person who's an expert on financial intervention or industry intervention to provide medical equipment to deal with the respiratory virus that hits people at an unprecedented rate.

[2604] that's not a left wing or a right wing thing.

[2605] That's a thing.

[2606] And if that gets lumped into socialism versus libertarianism, we've got a fucking real problem.

[2607] Because that's a good idea for everybody.

[2608] Yes.

[2609] Right?

[2610] Yes.

[2611] Well, Jordan Peterson said something, I thought, I never forgot.

[2612] He said, when you get that level of detail, when you're trying to solve problems, get food on, you know, get a lot of protein and carbohydrates and fats into, say, 300 million human bodies or just running a restaurant or whatever it is, when you're trying to get something done.

[2613] Get manufacturing of medicines away from China and the United States.

[2614] When you get to the level of detail, left -wing and right -wing politics seem to go out the fucking window.

[2615] You're dealing with practicality now.

[2616] We've got to get a job done.

[2617] And I don't know if you're in the fucking geese or if you're trans.

[2618] I don't give a shit.

[2619] Can you do the job well?

[2620] Let's get this job done.

[2621] And then we can talk about the other stuff.

[2622] That's kind of what happens.

[2623] I noticed in a war zone when I was in Afghanistan, I don't say Afghanistan anymore.

[2624] How come?

[2625] I don't know.

[2626] I'm a sure.

[2627] I like to be.

[2628] You became less authentic?

[2629] I like to be more American.

[2630] Afghanistan, when I was in Afghanistan, I remember none of the soldiers would talk politics.

[2631] None of them.

[2632] They were like, I'm not, I don't talk about that right now.

[2633] I got a job to do.

[2634] I got a job to do.

[2635] I'm not.

[2636] I know what my mission is, and that's the way it is.

[2637] So when you get to the level of details, a lot of times, it's what I think a lot of times when you do.

[2638] with people who are really practical, who live in a real world where they have to make a profit with their business or whatever they do when they live in the real world, they tend to be more moderate to maybe more market oriented.

[2639] And when you get people that have been in an academic setting their whole life, in a political setting, their whole life where they make laws and they make, you know, and you have academics that come up with theories to support those laws, they tend to be a little bit less practical, a little bit more theoretical, just by the nature of how they live their lives on a daily basis.

[2640] You know, it's interesting.

[2641] I was just thinking this, why I was talking about these complex issues.

[2642] Like, why are we voting for a person, like one individual leader that handles all those things?

[2643] Why instead isn't there a vote for the person who's got the best solution?

[2644] to each of those individual problems.

[2645] And those are the people that run the country.

[2646] You know what I'm saying?

[2647] I do.

[2648] I mean, the idea that...

[2649] I love that.

[2650] That seems like that's a possible idea.

[2651] You mean, so you'd get an economic stud somebody made a lot of money to run the economy?

[2652] Yes.

[2653] Yes.

[2654] You get an economic president.

[2655] Yes.

[2656] You get a war president.

[2657] That's why I like Mitt Romney, a lot of ways.

[2658] Guy was fucking, you know, an economic stud.

[2659] Get a lot of stuff.

[2660] Yes.

[2661] But they hold that against you now.

[2662] Also Mexican.

[2663] He is?

[2664] His dad's Mexican.

[2665] I didn't know that.

[2666] His dad tried to run for president because his dad was born and Mexico.

[2667] He couldn't run for president.

[2668] I thought he was white as could be.

[2669] Well, he is because he came from the Mormons who escaped and moved to Mexico so they can boink!

[2670] They wanted to have all these wives.

[2671] Let's keep this party rogan.

[2672] Wow, big Mexican community down there.

[2673] Huge.

[2674] And they, you know, that was the big story with the cartel.

[2675] They slaughtered nine of them, including women and children.

[2676] Why?

[2677] Did they ever find those guys?

[2678] Did they ever find out why?

[2679] They don't.

[2680] I don't think they have a definitive answer, obviously, because everyone's dead.

[2681] But I think they either did it because they were always in dispute with those people from the Mormon colonies or because they mistook them for someone who was in another rival gang.

[2682] It's hard to tell.

[2683] The cartel, they're not big on interviews after they made people.

[2684] So I don't know what happened.

[2685] I don't know if the people that shot them were punished by the cartel.

[2686] There was something that Ed called oron said that would probably happen.

[2687] They would do it publicly because they don't want to start a war.

[2688] But the whole thing's crazy.

[2689] We got a giant multi -billion -dollar drug industry that's connected to us.

[2690] Yeah.

[2691] How about legalizing it?

[2692] How's the fucking war going?

[2693] Like, imagine, if you had to choose between, like, what are your big problems?

[2694] Is your big problem the massive amounts of drugs that are coming into the country that are killing people and addicting people?

[2695] Or is it important to hold it down in Afghanistan?

[2696] Some places on the other side of the planet.

[2697] You got a place that's connected to you that's directly affecting people.

[2698] Like in this really weird way.

[2699] The best, yeah, the best, the best, it's like, the best thing I ever heard Bill Maher say, the best thing was when he said, terrorism isn't going to kill you America.

[2700] It's the corn syrup and all the shitty Fuji.

[2701] He's right.

[2702] He is right.

[2703] He's got some great, I don't know if it's him writing or his monologue writers, but they make some great points like that.

[2704] His, those monologues that he does for real time, he makes some great points.

[2705] Yes.

[2706] It's funny shit too.

[2707] But it's, yeah, the, we have a problem in that whenever you tell someone, that they can't do something, which I don't agree with at all.

[2708] Don't get me wrong about this whole drug issue.

[2709] I don't think you should be able to tell a guy who's 60 years old, he can't do meth.

[2710] That fucking guy wants to do math.

[2711] I agree.

[2712] He should be able to do math?

[2713] Here's the question is, should it be okay for you to sell in meth?

[2714] Well, that sort of gets weird because I know you're a piece of shit if you're selling meth.

[2715] You're selling this poor guy meth?

[2716] You know he doesn't need meth.

[2717] Brian, he needs a hug.

[2718] This is what would happen.

[2719] If you had, if you made all drugs legal, they'd get zoned, they'd get taxed.

[2720] There would be ways to do it.

[2721] Look, you want to do meth?

[2722] Watch, the conversation would be like this.

[2723] It'd be exactly like this.

[2724] You want to do meth.

[2725] First of all, if you want to work for my company, no meth.

[2726] I got a private company, no math.

[2727] You can't do math.

[2728] I know it sounds crazy, but you're not an efficient worker.

[2729] You want to be a pilot?

[2730] No meth.

[2731] You want to be a cop, no meth.

[2732] You want to work in my factory, heavy machinery?

[2733] No meth.

[2734] Video games.

[2735] I mean, maybe it'll help you.

[2736] But if you want to lose your teeth, go ahead.

[2737] You fucking idiot, go ahead.

[2738] So I think, again, cocaine.

[2739] Now, we're going to have very pure cocaine.

[2740] And guess what?

[2741] To get it from leaf to powder, less murder.

[2742] No murder, in fact.

[2743] How's that sound?

[2744] It's locally sourced.

[2745] How's that sound?

[2746] You can do your blow.

[2747] And again, you want to do blow.

[2748] I got to wake up in the morning.

[2749] I can't be up all night.

[2750] I would love to do blow.

[2751] I love blow.

[2752] I can't do it because I got to wait out.

[2753] Probably five, six times in my life.

[2754] Wow.

[2755] Fantastic.

[2756] And you love it and you've never done it more than that?

[2757] It's the best drug of all time.

[2758] Really?

[2759] It's the best drug of all time.

[2760] I, again, it's like the joke is when two people are doing blow, they start a business together.

[2761] You know what I mean?

[2762] Let's just fucking open a candle store.

[2763] And it sounds like the best idea in the world.

[2764] But I don't do blow.

[2765] I'm not a drug guy.

[2766] I don't have time.

[2767] But the point is if you had a place I could go and it was pure and it wasn't cut with a bunch of shit I don't know about.

[2768] And I knew I could do it and fucking talk to my friend or have sex with some, you know, whatever it is.

[2769] Maybe if I had time.

[2770] Maybe.

[2771] But if it was consistency.

[2772] Give me the responsibility.

[2773] If there was consistency.

[2774] Yeah.

[2775] Like if all drugs that were dangerous were illegal.

[2776] Yeah.

[2777] then maybe I could kind of get your point.

[2778] Right.

[2779] But how many people die of overdoses every year of prescription drugs?

[2780] A lot.

[2781] A lot.

[2782] How many people abuse prescription drugs?

[2783] A lot.

[2784] And I would say...

[2785] And alcohol.

[2786] Yeah, exactly.

[2787] Alcohol, which is one of the most destructive drugs and one of the most readily available.

[2788] Right.

[2789] And is an essential that's open while we're keeping social distancing.

[2790] Yeah.

[2791] Alcohol.

[2792] Yeah.

[2793] So again, I ask you, tell me the difference.

[2794] So what we've done is supported a horrific criminal enterprise.

[2795] all over the world, and all of Latin America.

[2796] And we continue to.

[2797] Yeah, and so many innocent Mexican women and children and men and businesses and lives destroyed and so many Central American and it's just destroyed the fabric of those societies.

[2798] Now imagine you're supposed to take care of this problem and coronavirus and the economy.

[2799] Okay.

[2800] And health care.

[2801] Yeah.

[2802] And you're running for reelection.

[2803] And North Korea.

[2804] and Germany.

[2805] I know what I do.

[2806] And this.

[2807] I don't know.

[2808] What?

[2809] All right.

[2810] I may call drugs legal.

[2811] I think that is a logical way of looking at it.

[2812] But I think that the growing pains of that would be people would lose their fucking minds at you if they lost their children during the growing pains.

[2813] And they can attribute their child overdosing on heroin because their son bought it legally and left it in the house.

[2814] and now someone's dead.

[2815] Sure.

[2816] And you have that.

[2817] And I think you'd have a lot of that.

[2818] I think you'd have a lot of that.

[2819] Eventually.

[2820] I think eventually.

[2821] I'd have a lot of this heroin to be regulated.

[2822] When you went to a store and bought heroin, just like with weed, you'd know exactly what you were getting.

[2823] You weren't getting a hot shot.

[2824] You were getting, no, no what's the other fentanyl.

[2825] You'd get, you'd know exactly what you were getting.

[2826] I'd have it.

[2827] I'd have a place you could do it if you wanted.

[2828] It'd be all kinds of stuff.

[2829] Wow.

[2830] And then, by the way, and you can't sustain that habit.

[2831] The people that are junkies would be junkies anyway, but at least there'd be a place, it'd be a safe place for them to go and get it, maybe to do it like they do in Zurich.

[2832] But more importantly, I legalize all fucking drugs because I don't know, because this war on drugs ain't going so well.

[2833] There'd be a lot less murder, I'll tell you that in my opinion.

[2834] Well, we would need someone to figure out, first of all, how do you have less people that are, that's another Ed called around thing?

[2835] How do you have less people that are even interested?

[2836] in doing heroin.

[2837] Like, we've obviously done something terribly wrong if we have people that are interested in heroin.

[2838] Like, why are people willing to do drugs, like crocodile?

[2839] You know that shit?

[2840] Yes.

[2841] Very important question.

[2842] That's the real problem.

[2843] In fixing it with a patch, left or right oriented patch, be careful with the tip of that thing.

[2844] The knife pokes through it stabbing the hand.

[2845] That's a gift from Ed.

[2846] He's the same guy that brought me the death wheel.

[2847] I want a knife, dude.

[2848] Please give me one of these.

[2849] I want to carry this.

[2850] with me. I figured out how to death whistle.

[2851] You just blow on it.

[2852] You don't have to cup it with your hands.

[2853] You're not as good as me. I'd give it to you, but there's social distancing rules.

[2854] Give me that shit.

[2855] I don't know a fuck.

[2856] I was going to say.

[2857] You can't.

[2858] I don't give a fuck.

[2859] People are watching.

[2860] We're set a bad example.

[2861] That's true, actually.

[2862] I, I, but that's what I'm saying.

[2863] I mean, imagine someone who has to take care of each one of those things.

[2864] Yeah, just a motherfucker.

[2865] Each one of those things is ridiculous.

[2866] A president of the homeless.

[2867] This one guy, one person, one woman.

[2868] We have drugs, ours.

[2869] We have...

[2870] Yeah, but they don't have the kind of power that I'm going to give them.

[2871] Really?

[2872] Yeah, I'm going to give them presidential power.

[2873] I don't think one person should be able to let people out of jail and do this and move that.

[2874] What if we had one person that stays in his fucking lane?

[2875] Like, what are you really good at?

[2876] But we have a secretary, an energy secretary.

[2877] We have an education secretary.

[2878] I know, I know.

[2879] But they work in this cabinet.

[2880] What I'm saying is like, A king of immigration.

[2881] This is the king.

[2882] This is the person.

[2883] The queen of immigration.

[2884] The queen of environment.

[2885] Yeah.

[2886] Not even the environment.

[2887] You changed the title.

[2888] You changed the title.

[2889] So female wins it.

[2890] So you're then giving apologies more power is the answer.

[2891] Kings and queens.

[2892] It ties them into the job.

[2893] I don't like this idea.

[2894] Well, I call it a president.

[2895] Call it the head of.

[2896] The head of.

[2897] We do.

[2898] We have Zarr.

[2899] Zarr is fucking a king.

[2900] But no one big guy.

[2901] Yeah, but I'm talking about.

[2902] Do you know what Zar means?

[2903] It's their.

[2904] They write the budget.

[2905] They do everything.

[2906] Yeah, but doesn't Zarr come from, so you have the drug czar, you've got the education.

[2907] Zar comes from Caesar, right?

[2908] Isn't that Russian for Caesar, the king?

[2909] Is that what it is?

[2910] It's a Russian name.

[2911] It's a dope name.

[2912] The Tsar.

[2913] Anytime you can say Tsar.

[2914] Zar.

[2915] I'd love to be a czar.

[2916] I was like, what?

[2917] I'll be the sex czar.

[2918] What's that?

[2919] I know it means Russian emperor, but I think czar means Caesar, doesn't it?

[2920] I think the root is...

[2921] If you had one person in this country that was autonomous, they didn't need the approval of the top president guy.

[2922] They just had a thing to solve.

[2923] They don't need his, like, what?

[2924] No, no, that'd be a terrible idea.

[2925] Why?

[2926] Because you'd have people.

[2927] Well, I mean, think about an education queen.

[2928] I mean, like, look at Betsy DeVos.

[2929] She's got her ideas on how to run classrooms, but there's massive pushback from teachers and everybody else.

[2930] So these are very controversial subject.

[2931] Go ahead.

[2932] Which one loves Jesus?

[2933] Now you're talking.

[2934] Which one loves Jesus?

[2935] Because that's the one I'm voting for.

[2936] All right.

[2937] I heard that argument about George W. Someone said, well, George W is with Jesus, so I'm with George W. Wow.

[2938] Yeah, man. There you go.

[2939] That's how you get in when you want to be the education czar.

[2940] What do you want?

[2941] I'm teaching a bunch of fucking pagans about Zeus and shit.

[2942] The fuck out of here.

[2943] That's changing.

[2944] We need our Jesus.

[2945] Technology, all the way back.

[2946] Technology with the Enlightenment, as you were able to predict the movement of the planets.

[2947] That was radical because that went, hey, wait, the Bible doesn't tell us that.

[2948] This guy, Haley, Albert Haley was able to predict Haley's comet or Newton or Copernicus or Galileo who are proving this stuff mathematically.

[2949] They were revolutionaries.

[2950] Holy fuck.

[2951] It was so outrageous, but the church was like, wait a minute, this is destroying the existence of God.

[2952] When Einstein came along and said time and space are relative, depending on how fast you're moving.

[2953] What?

[2954] Think about how important education is, right?

[2955] It's the most important thing.

[2956] and just giving someone tools to shape their mind.

[2957] Now, think of it in terms of the prestige that you get as being just a high school teacher.

[2958] It's nothing.

[2959] It's nothing.

[2960] No one cares.

[2961] You're doing one of the most important services to a young mind that ever, you're teaching them, literally filling their minds with information.

[2962] Imagine if someone was in charge of education in this country who could convince everybody, who had a real philosophy and a real strong.

[2963] strategy for educating kids and talked about it in a way like this is how we're going to make we do have that no no one person who's the president god damn you're about this one person yeah one person can't solve these problems we elect them we elect them i'd be that terrible idea because we elect them like the presidents no who's going to be the president of education no you need the wisdom of crowds education yeah but this is the crowds they all get together they have to have open debate the president can't have all power what no no this is my new my new take on it we need dictators that are benevolent.

[2964] My God.

[2965] You're a monarchist.

[2966] You fucking monarchist.

[2967] Imagine if that's the strategy.

[2968] Joe Rogan the monarchist.

[2969] Imagine if that's what really works.

[2970] That's what used to happen.

[2971] The king had divine power.

[2972] You just have one really nice person who runs the whole thing.

[2973] One nice person.

[2974] One really nice person.

[2975] I don't believe in nice people.

[2976] I don't think they exist.

[2977] I believe human beings are.

[2978] You're nice.

[2979] But you're one of the nicest people I know.

[2980] I am a nice person.

[2981] But I'd be a terrible cop.

[2982] That's one of the reasons why I've had to kick people.

[2983] people out of your life.

[2984] It's true.

[2985] Because I'm like, hey, man. I trust everybody and I love everybody.

[2986] You love everybody.

[2987] You let everybody in.

[2988] I got, I got fucked over recently, badly, financially.

[2989] I know you did.

[2990] Dude, there's a couple of times in your life where I've had to pull you aside.

[2991] I'm like, hey, fucker.

[2992] Yeah.

[2993] If I didn't love you, I wouldn't be telling you this.

[2994] Yeah.

[2995] It's time to run, son.

[2996] Yeah, it's true.

[2997] I am, I suppose I'm, I'd be a very bad cop because I'd be like, whatever.

[2998] Oh, man, you didn't need to shoot him.

[2999] Your dad hit you?

[3000] Like, what the fuck?

[3001] All right.

[3002] I'm going to let you go, but God damn it, if you do it.

[3003] I'm so mad.

[3004] Don't shoot anybody else.

[3005] Promise me, I'll let you go.

[3006] No, certain things I'd have no mercy for, though.

[3007] Of course.

[3008] Yeah, of course.

[3009] Yeah, of course.

[3010] Yeah, and that's the thing, right?

[3011] There's, like, things that people can do where you're like, you know, child murder.

[3012] That's it.

[3013] See you later.

[3014] No coming back.

[3015] See you later.

[3016] There's things like that.

[3017] Even if I catch you with a large trove of child pornography, I can't, what am I going to do, dude?

[3018] If that's really what turns you on, I got to, I don't know what to say.

[3019] Have you seen one of the weird, you know, because progressive ideology, right, like we were talking about before, really is, in some ways, is a religion.

[3020] Just like conservative ideologies, it takes on some of the characteristics of a religion.

[3021] There was people predicting this, but almost in jest that one day, people that are so progressive, they would look at people who are pedophiles and saying that this is just who they are.

[3022] And this is like, this is their sexual programming, like how they are as a person.

[3023] And we shouldn't judge them by who they are.

[3024] That's fine.

[3025] I can even, I'll watch this.

[3026] I'll grant you that.

[3027] Watch this.

[3028] So let's say with like Robert Sapolsky's work or people like this who are studying this stuff, we don't know.

[3029] We don't know.

[3030] I don't think people choose to be pedophiles.

[3031] What happens is they wake up and they go, I have this irrational attraction to children.

[3032] Okay.

[3033] So you're attracted, let's say, toddlers or something horrible.

[3034] I grant you that your brain works this way.

[3035] I still can't have you, if you have these impulses, I can't have you out in society, bro.

[3036] Now, if you want to volunteer for castration or if there's a way to get you to not have these urges, now we can talk.

[3037] But if you, if I don't know how to mitigate or erase that kind of deep -seeded programming, you've got to go.

[3038] way, I got to know where you are at all times.

[3039] I can't have you near children.

[3040] This is why we incarcerate these people, right?

[3041] And so I think we're going to be facing that exact question.

[3042] We're going to be saying it, the more we learn about the brain and stuff, we're going to be realizing you are programmed a certain way.

[3043] Okay, we all are.

[3044] Now, to what degree, if you listen to Sam Harris, Sam doesn't even believe in free will.

[3045] You know, Sam will tell you, we have no control over the the mechanics of how we make a decision.

[3046] When did it start?

[3047] I mean, what happens?

[3048] Sapolsky's book Behave is about this.

[3049] I don't know.

[3050] I still came around a society that gives free reign to people that cause destructive harm.

[3051] You know the story about there was a guy who had a tumor in his brain.

[3052] Yeah.

[3053] And the tumor was literally turning him into a pedophile.

[3054] Yes.

[3055] He has the tumor removed.

[3056] They prove it.

[3057] They prove the tumor is there.

[3058] As a tumor removed, all these thoughts go away they come back a few years later they do another MRI and they find out the tumors returned like what do you do with that because here's a guy like you almost he got sick he literally got sick and that sickness led to him being a criminal there's also a you can have a lesion on your brain the size of a the head of a pin if it's in the right part of your brain it will turn you into a homicidal maniac oh we know these things so really yes the head of a Yes, in fact, it's in a series of lectures by, in the great ideas of psychology, and it's really fascinating that you can, by Daniel Robinson or David Robinson, an amazing guy, but, but yeah, and there is that case.

[3059] And there have been, there have been cases of this.

[3060] We know that there are parts of the brain when damaged can cause you to be fucking, you know, a maniac.

[3061] Imagine if they did that.

[3062] What if they did that to people, like if you, you really wanted to be the ultimate soldier and they had like a part of your brain that turns you into a berserker and they would just hit that switch yeah well they say that a lot of uh what they they do psyche valves on high level operators and some of those people are able to shut off certain parts of their you know they can be great fathers and husbands and brothers and they can also shut off and when it's time to shut that off everybody dies and they can it's called you can deviate It's called a, there's a term for it, like sociopath.

[3063] You can deviate into a sociopath.

[3064] You can deviate into that space and come back.

[3065] You can make the decisions that have to be made and then come back to morality.

[3066] Yeah.

[3067] I think a lot of us could do that.

[3068] If you have an ideology, if you're protecting your homeland or whatever it might be, that's a formidable soldier who's trying to protect what he loves.

[3069] Well, and who faces the reality of the necessity of that, like runs into really bad people in parts of the world that really are torturing and murdering people and making videos and putting them up on YouTube.

[3070] Like, you run into those kind of people and you actually see them in the world, you see the damage that they're doing to people in the real world?

[3071] I know a lot of soldiers who felt that way who saw that shit, and they were like, listen, man, that's why I killed him and I slept well last night, you know?

[3072] There's something about what's going on now for all of us, where there's this massive wake -up call as to the frailty of our society, how poorly we've thought out all the consequences of any sort of global pandemic or any natural disaster, or how ill -prepared we are.

[3073] And this is a good opportunity to wake up and look at what we're doing and look how fucking soft we are.

[3074] Like, it's fine to be nice.

[3075] It's fine to be nice.

[3076] Well, have you noticed that now we're in this pandemic and you don't hear, there's not a lot of talk about progressive ideas and equality?

[3077] Well, the real progressive ideas you're seeing from people like nurses and doctors and healthcare workers that are putting their fucking, their physical health on the line.

[3078] taking care of these people, and some of them are dying.

[3079] You're seeing people that are chipping in and food shelters and, you know, and food kitchens and trying to feed people that are poor.

[3080] You're seeing people, there's a lot of people putting together GoFundMe's.

[3081] The comedy store is putting together a fund right now to pay for the wait staff.

[3082] There's all these different things that are happening that are people putting together that are happening organically.

[3083] This is what we want.

[3084] What we don't want is mandated charity, mandated socialism, mandated.

[3085] And that's what people have a problem with.

[3086] Because what they're worried about is in great times, in times that things are amazing, we're worried about people who don't want to do their share.

[3087] We're worried about people where you've created a simple, easy path for them.

[3088] And they've taken it every time and time again that they're lazy and they don't want to do any work.

[3089] They don't.

[3090] There's people that are like that.

[3091] That's different than what we're experiencing now.

[3092] What we're experiencing now is the best case scenario for human nature in terms of the outbursts.

[3093] pouring of generosity that you get from a lot of these people that are trying to help other folks that are in need.

[3094] Yeah, you're going to have some negative stories.

[3095] You're going to have that, too.

[3096] But what this really is is a wake -up call is that we've had it really, really, really easy.

[3097] And because of that, we were finding things to be outraged at.

[3098] And the people that experienced real strife in their life and real difficulty, they get angry at that stuff.

[3099] And they get angry at that stuff for a reason, because self -indulgence is fucking dangerous.

[3100] Because it's catchy and because you tell all your friends that y 'all have a good point.

[3101] The government should just fucking pay us.

[3102] We should just get paid.

[3103] Why these billionaires have money?

[3104] There should be no billionaires.

[3105] How about good grammar being racist?

[3106] Because if you correct somebody's grammar, maybe that person didn't have the education, therefore you're being racist because maybe that person of color doesn't use the kind of grammar that's standard English.

[3107] This is a new idea, too.

[3108] Yeah, there's a lot of these new ideas that people look for things to be outraged about.

[3109] Well, it's hard to get food.

[3110] And again, right now the power's still on.

[3111] Okay, right now, everything is at least three quarters of what it was minus the unemployment, right?

[3112] You're stuck at home, but you're with the people that you love.

[3113] You can talk to them on your phone.

[3114] You can watch Netflix.

[3115] You can do a lot of shit still.

[3116] Can't go to restaurants, can't go to movies, but you can't go to work, but you're kind of still around, and then you've got your financial issues.

[3117] But what if it went one step further?

[3118] Do we not understand how fucking fragile this is?

[3119] What if it went one step further?

[3120] One rock from the sky slams into Chicago.

[3121] Yeah.

[3122] One big -ass fucking mile -wide rock slams into Chicago.

[3123] Or a volcano.

[3124] Or a volcano in Montana that won't stop bubbling.

[3125] How about that yellow stone thing that's a giant caldera that's 300 kilometers wide or something stupid like that?

[3126] I think it's actually 600 kilometers.

[3127] That's super blast would fuck us up forever.

[3128] It's huge.

[3129] Yeah.

[3130] How big is the caldera of yellow stuff?

[3131] Well, by the way, maybe climate change is a very real thing.

[3132] And most of us are walking around going, nah, not for us.

[3133] God will protect us.

[3134] Well, the problem with that is people weaponize the idea of arguing about climate change.

[3135] And if you even have a question about it or if you even, do you ever, if you, it's one of those things.

[3136] And this is not that the experts, I'm with the experts.

[3137] I'm with the science on it.

[3138] I'm 100 % in belief that human beings are accelerating climate change.

[3139] That's not my point.

[3140] My point is, if someone even brings up, how do you know, if you're arguing about it voraciously, right?

[3141] You're, like, really into fucking, you know, some people that love arguing about climate change and they love putting you in your fucking place.

[3142] The oceans are going to be on fire and they get crazy with it.

[3143] And if you even have a conversation, like, where are you getting your information from?

[3144] They don't really have a good source.

[3145] It's not like they've spent time studying these papers and looking at the trends and reading books on core samples.

[3146] and talking to you about these shifts, and here's the problem with this shift.

[3147] This shift is different than the other ones because it's clearly CO2.

[3148] I tried saying with a group of people, all I try to say is I go, I don't like Trump either, but I will say, and I was going to say, I appreciated his China policy and certain things.

[3149] I literally was met with this.

[3150] I went, I went, but I will, but, and they go, no, don't, don't fucking, don't give me a butt on this.

[3151] You know, I'm like, Jesus Christ.

[3152] Are you that afraid of my ideas?

[3153] Well, there's a Trump thing.

[3154] Like, you either hate Trump or you love Trump.

[3155] You know, you can't say, like, I get criticized as being some sort of a closet Trump supporter because I say I think he's funny.

[3156] I do too.

[3157] He's funny.

[3158] He cracks me up.

[3159] We're professional comedians.

[3160] He's hilarious to me. Look, how about stuff that's not even, no one even gets hurt?

[3161] The one when he took Greenland and he put a giant Trump tower on it and he tweeted, I promise not to do this.

[3162] If we buy Greenland.

[3163] He's hilarious to me. That's funny.

[3164] That doesn't mean you're a Nazi, okay?

[3165] And I think this is going to calm some of that shit down.

[3166] This is going to give us real things to be outraged about.

[3167] And this is a wake -up call that, you know, our medical systems that we have in place to deal with pandemics, they're undefunded.

[3168] They're underfunded.

[3169] They have to be.

[3170] Or they're underutilized or there's something wrong.

[3171] There's something wrong.

[3172] I don't want to say what the cause is.

[3173] I really don't know.

[3174] I'm an idiot.

[3175] Something has left us on prepared.

[3176] Okay.

[3177] Let's not blame anybody.

[3178] It is what it is.

[3179] No one saw this comment.

[3180] But now that we know that this can happen.

[3181] Yeah, this has never happened before.

[3182] All the years since 1776, we've never locked down the country like this.

[3183] But we did.

[3184] and the whole world did.

[3185] So let's move forward with a fucking heavy emphasis on putting the brakes to that kind of shit.

[3186] Figure out what we have to do.

[3187] Is it because you only have 100 scientists on it instead of a thousand?

[3188] Because let's hire 900 more.

[3189] Yeah.

[3190] Like, what are we doing?

[3191] You're spending so much money on other things.

[3192] Have a science king.

[3193] Yes, a science king.

[3194] Let's have a fucking science king.

[3195] What's the difference between king and Azar?

[3196] We have a tiger king.

[3197] Let's have a science king.

[3198] Yeah, president.

[3199] Science president.

[3200] Science president.

[3201] Everybody's a president of something.

[3202] Economic president.

[3203] And that way when something goes wrong, you'll go, fucking, if Trump just opened the borders.

[3204] No, you're like, don't know.

[3205] It's the border king's problem.

[3206] Yeah.

[3207] The border king says we've got to keep the borders closed.

[3208] It's not Trump.

[3209] Trump doesn't get to...

[3210] It's the border king.

[3211] We have a border king.

[3212] We have a fucking drug king.

[3213] We have a sky king.

[3214] We have a sky king.

[3215] Oh, he runs the skies.

[3216] Well, I make sure it's clean.

[3217] The guy's up there with a fucking little strip.

[3218] I like that.

[3219] Testing it every day, scooping.

[3220] Like, hey.

[3221] Sky King, how come the sky's still dirty, you fucking idiot?

[3222] And you blame the Sky King.

[3223] All right.

[3224] You can't blame Trump and his cronies.

[3225] You blame Sky King.

[3226] I like it.

[3227] I want an elk.

[3228] You do.

[3229] You need to get one of those in your life.

[3230] You don't invite me. It's very...

[3231] Listen, you don't do it anymore.

[3232] You don't really do it.

[3233] Dude.

[3234] I'm dead eye.

[3235] I'm game eye.

[3236] Sweetie, I love you.

[3237] Yeah.

[3238] There's the level between doing what we did where you have a rifle and doing what we did.

[3239] Oh, no, you're doing bows.

[3240] It's so much work.

[3241] to get to the point where you can do it efficiently.

[3242] Oh, because you're doing bo -hunts?

[3243] Yes.

[3244] How about I show up with a gun?

[3245] You could definitely do that if the place is, if it's legal to have a gun.

[3246] You know, the place for that for you would be Hawaii.

[3247] Really?

[3248] Yes, Lanai, Axis Deer.

[3249] You and I need to go to fucking, you and I need to go to my friend's property in New Zealand and shoot those redsacks.

[3250] I'm sure.

[3251] But they probably need to shoot those too because New Zealand doesn't have any, they don't have any.

[3252] He's got five private beaches.

[3253] God, he's got some money.

[3254] Bring some wolves to New Zealand.

[3255] Dude.

[3256] What could go wrong?

[3257] Great idea.

[3258] We need to go to his place.

[3259] He jet skis with fucking orcas.

[3260] He sends me video.

[3261] He's on his jet ski in his private beach.

[3262] He goes, ah, orca's under him.

[3263] The first family that gets eaten inside their tent by wolves, and that can happen and has happened in history, folks.

[3264] The first family that that ever happens to, we're all going to have a big wake -up call as to what a wolf is.

[3265] It's not that I don't love wolves, I do love wolves.

[3266] And I went to that wolf connection, that rescue.

[3267] out in the St. Palmdale.

[3268] I went to it really recently with Forrest Galante.

[3269] Did you see wolves?

[3270] Yeah, hung out with them.

[3271] They're cool as fuck.

[3272] Pure wolves or hybrids?

[3273] Most of them are hybrids.

[3274] One of them was about as close to a pure wolf as you can get, and you couldn't do a goddamn thing with him.

[3275] This guy said that one time he had monished him for a food fight, and he was incorrect, and the wolf hasn't spoken to him since.

[3276] What?

[3277] Three years ago, the wolf was like, fuck you.

[3278] He used to be able to pet him, put him on leash, and take him out.

[3279] Now the wolf won't let him anywhere near him.

[3280] Really?

[3281] He decided the guy was a cunt three years ago.

[3282] That male wolves will challenge you.

[3283] And, you know, certain animals like camels.

[3284] Camels, if they like you, you're good.

[3285] If they don't like you, they'll piss on you, they'll spit on you, and they will grab you and bite you and throw you.

[3286] They pick you up by your neck with their teeth.

[3287] I've seen that.

[3288] Don't fuck around with a camel.

[3289] Bro, I saw a guy trying to kill a camel.

[3290] He was trying to There's like a certain way They killed camels for some religious food You can eat them But a certain way they kill him With a knife they slice their throat And he was doing that And this camel was not having it And he grabs him by the back of the neck And just fucking whips him through the air You realize how strong a camel is It bites your neck You're a 150 -pound man You're going flying You're going flying dude He'll chuck you You'll chuck you like you throw a house cat Bourdain ate camel He said it was really good So did I. Did you eat it?

[3291] Yeah.

[3292] What was it like?

[3293] Delicious.

[3294] What does it taste like?

[3295] It's like a goat, you know, I guess.

[3296] A lot of times in Saudi Arabia you would eat a camel with a huge feast.

[3297] You'd put a goat inside the camel.

[3298] Wow.

[3299] Oh, here's one.

[3300] This guy's trying to slice.

[3301] Yeah, this is another one.

[3302] Okay, yeah, right there.

[3303] Look at that guy.

[3304] Boom, son.

[3305] That thing picked him up by his head.

[3306] He got his whole head in there.

[3307] Look at that.

[3308] Yikes.

[3309] That's his whole head.

[3310] Oh, my God.

[3311] That wasn't even just the neck.

[3312] neck.

[3313] That thing grabbed his whole head.

[3314] He's got to be fucked up.

[3315] Bro, he might be paralyzed.

[3316] Yeah.

[3317] Now he's moving.

[3318] Thank God.

[3319] Look at that.

[3320] God damn.

[3321] It just grabbed his whole head.

[3322] It picked him up by his head.

[3323] Yeah, no. Dude, that could easily break your neck.

[3324] Fuck, yeah.

[3325] You can't.

[3326] Especially if it didn't let go.

[3327] What if it shook him?

[3328] Yeah, that'd be a bad situation.

[3329] You know what I'm saying?

[3330] Are you just held onto the head and shook him a bunch of times?

[3331] That thing is mean.

[3332] Fuck, dude.

[3333] Yeah, don't fuck with camels.

[3334] Yeah.

[3335] So it's like a goat.

[3336] It's a lot of meat.

[3337] It's a lot of meat.

[3338] How many people ate that?

[3339] I don't remember.

[3340] I was a kid, by the way.

[3341] I was 14, 13 when I ate it.

[3342] So I'm saying goat.

[3343] They eat with their hands, right?

[3344] You eat with your right hand.

[3345] Yes.

[3346] You do everything with your right hand.

[3347] And you wash your ass with your left hand.

[3348] You never give anybody your left hand to shake.

[3349] So when you were caught stealing traditionally and saw that they would cut off your right hand.

[3350] Oh, my God.

[3351] So you had to be the last one to wait.

[3352] You'd have to, in the goat crab, you'd be the last one to eat.

[3353] Oh, my God.

[3354] So what you'd have what was left over.

[3355] Oh, my God.

[3356] Yeah.

[3357] What do you do then?

[3358] Just kill the guy?

[3359] Like, why don't you want to live like this?

[3360] No, you live with one hand.

[3361] It's fine.

[3362] Figure it out.

[3363] You know.

[3364] I don't think we got to the bottom of anything, Brian Callan, but it feels good to complain.

[3365] I agree, buddy.

[3366] I love being here.

[3367] What else?

[3368] I think that's good.

[3369] I think we're three hours in.

[3370] We're three hours in.

[3371] God, that goes quickly.

[3372] Fuck, I can't believe that.

[3373] Yeah, we are.

[3374] Jesus.

[3375] I, you know, I'm joking around, obviously, about the kings.

[3376] I have a king of everything.

[3377] I'm joking around about it, obviously.

[3378] But it is kind of ridiculous that we ever think that one person could be the president and run this whole country.

[3379] It's so stupid.

[3380] It's so stupid and it's so tired.

[3381] And when something happens where it's really clear that this wasn't thought out correctly like this and that we didn't know what was coming like this, that we didn't ever think because it's never happened before.

[3382] If something's never happened before, we always think it's not going to happen, whether it's a super volcano or an asteroid impact or this.

[3383] Well, that's the thing.

[3384] That's what it's got me in.

[3385] Even though we know that they've happened, hasn't happened during my life.

[3386] I'm not prepped.

[3387] I'm not prepped enough, and I need to get prepped.

[3388] We all should be.

[3389] We keep talking about going somewhere, and I'm not bullshitting about that.

[3390] How about a place we can drive to in a short time, though?

[3391] You could drive to Utah in 10 hours.

[3392] Really?

[3393] Yeah.

[3394] Yeah, that's not a bad one.

[3395] Or Vegas.

[3396] You just camp out in Vegas.

[3397] I like the idea of somewhere up in the hills in California.

[3398] Where?

[3399] Where are you going to go?

[3400] There's a lot of property.

[3401] Enough where I can get a well and lots of guns.

[3402] Maybe you can go to Big Bear Maybe go to Big Bear Then they would shut those roads off That's what I worry about And you're fucked You gotta be up there stuck Still stuck We're still stuck We're still relying Well they shut those roads off Sometimes unless When it snows out You have to have chains Like you have to have chains If you're driving up there Yeah it's a problem Yeah whenever you see Those roads to Big Bear That say you must Put chains on your tires Bill Burr can drive a helicopter He can fly a helicopter That's right So Bill will be our go -to guy We need a boat to get out in the sea But we're assuming we'll have good visibility The problem with the helicopter thing is if it's fires If there's fires you ain't seeing shit If it's fires we'll figure it out If it's a pandemic again We'll see you, we need the fucking fire president That's what we need You can't say we'll figure it out We need a rock solid game plan We call a fire president who hates fire We have to have got a hates fire Fucking hates fire Who eats raw food We eat like secretly starting fires Do you know that's a thing?

[3403] I know that's a thing?

[3404] I know a lawyer who defends a kid who starts fires, dresses up like a fireman, and diverts traffic, and they catch him all the time, and he has to go and be like, the kid's obviously crazy, so yeah, he's a sociopath, he gets off on creating these issues, but he loves being a fireman, so he'll start fires, and he's done this 11 times since he was a little kid, and now he's an adult, and I think he's in jail now, but he'll dress up.

[3405] Yeah, he dresses up like a fireman and he likes to divert traffic and tell people where to go and give them advice.

[3406] Now imagine you have to fix that guy.

[3407] Imagine he's homeless, you've got to fix him.

[3408] You've got to go to jail.

[3409] You've got a homeless guy who lights houses on fire and pretends it's a fireman.

[3410] He's so far gone.

[3411] You got to go to jail.

[3412] What do you do with the?

[3413] But you keep them in there forever?

[3414] Let him out one day.

[3415] They're going to be more fucked up than they were before you put them in.

[3416] You make the jail for crazy people much more pleasant.

[3417] Make them pleasant.

[3418] Just keep them there.

[3419] Keep him in the pleasant jail?

[3420] Yeah.

[3421] Forever.

[3422] Pleasant though.

[3423] Forever.

[3424] I don't know.

[3425] That's a problem.

[3426] Until I find a way to get him until he can exhibit that he is fit to go back to society.

[3427] Did you ever see one flu over the cuckoo's nest?

[3428] Yes.

[3429] How come they don't have places like that anymore?

[3430] One of the greatest movies of all time.

[3431] Do they have places like that anymore?

[3432] You come in, you come out.

[3433] Yeah, the loon of them they have.

[3434] How many of them they have?

[3435] Do they have enough?

[3436] I don't know.

[3437] It seems like they should have more.

[3438] We have mental.

[3439] We have hospitals for the criminally insane.

[3440] Hospitals for, you know.

[3441] Right, but do we have enough?

[3442] Because I think it's almost like the same amount of hospitals that we have regular.

[3443] Peter Early wrote a book called Crazy.

[3444] His son suffers a mental illness and what we do with most of our mental ill is we put them in jail and I've been to those aquariums that they keep people in it's bad that's where it's fucked up too it's like you're also because you're crazy you're also committing crimes and you maybe could have been treated for whatever the mental illness was particularly if it's a chemical imbalance right yeah and then you would have never done those crimes and then you have never been in jail so yeah but I mean who's responsible for it ultimately we want adults to be responsible responsible for themselves.

[3445] Yeah, well, this guy said, Joe Newman, again, who wrote Raising Lions, I recommended highly.

[3446] He said, I'm training parents a lot of times.

[3447] You just think I was training the kids.

[3448] A lot of times I'm training the parents and the educators on how to, how to react to the kid.

[3449] Kid is smart.

[3450] And the kid is, even the kid is playing Spacey and stuff, or whatever, not paying attention, cutting up school.

[3451] He's enjoying the frustration and the social status he gets.

[3452] He creates frustration in the adult and gets social status from doing this.

[3453] I can make it very boring for him.

[3454] I'll make it very boring for him.

[3455] Without interest, just go, hey time to take a break you gotta stand over there i know it sucks uh but if you can throw a tantrum but the time starts for when you're done with the tantrum little things like that huge results just take the profit out of that you're saying this genius tells them to you to put them in time out time out but it's a very specific way of doing it's hilarious what's his solution kids got to go to time out yeah everybody well you get these kids who freak out they had to be put in isolation you argue with them no no that's part of the president's problem yeah so you can't put him in time out.

[3456] That's probably true.

[3457] If there was like Nancy Pelosi had like a few timeouts per year, she could just use it on Trump and Trump would just have to stand in the corner and not talk.

[3458] We'll take your phone away.

[3459] We're going to take your phone away, no tweeting.

[3460] No, no, no, no, no. No, a fucking legit timeout.

[3461] Nancy Pelosi, you stand in the corner.

[3462] She's the kind of person that would put all of us in timeout.

[3463] She's a mom.

[3464] But if she could do that.

[3465] Yeah.

[3466] Imagine how interesting that would be.

[3467] She'd go like this.

[3468] Donald, Donald, let me take a break.

[3469] Go over there.

[3470] You're going to go over the board.

[3471] chair.

[3472] If there was like things that a person could do where you had to put them in timeout, you and I would be in timeout a lot.

[3473] How often would you be in timeout per year?

[3474] As a kid?

[3475] Right now as an adult.

[3476] If they had timeout still.

[3477] I need a lot of timeouts.

[3478] I need a lot of timeouts.

[3479] No, but this is a thing like at a certain point in time, you become the master of your own destiny.

[3480] Nobody can put you in a time out anymore unless you're at work and you get brought in.

[3481] I need timeouts because I'll find ways to procrastinate and not do the things I'm supposed to do.

[3482] Can you imagine if you had a boss at the podcast and they sat you and Brendan down and we're talking about your job performance?

[3483] I'd have a problem with it.

[3484] They do that with radio shows.

[3485] That's what radio shows are.

[3486] They're like basically a podcast but with a boss.

[3487] I know.

[3488] I know.

[3489] You know Kevin and Bean?

[3490] You know those guys?

[3491] I know.

[3492] I love Kevin.

[3493] You know, Kevin?

[3494] They just fired him.

[3495] I didn't know they fired Kevin.

[3496] I thought Kevin kind of voluntarily.

[3497] No, no, no. No, they fired him and then they fired everybody and then just told them they're done.

[3498] Go home.

[3499] And they had security guards lead him out of the building.

[3500] Even Kevin?

[3501] Yes, Kevin.

[3502] I didn't know Kevin got fired.

[3503] Yeah, Kevin got fired.

[3504] That's very recent.

[3505] Well, Bean left like a year ago.

[3506] I know.

[3507] And then Kevin stayed on.

[3508] Yeah.

[3509] And Kay Rock, like, Jimmy Kimmel made a tweet about it.

[3510] Like, how dare you?

[3511] I just did Kevin.

[3512] I mean, I loved you.

[3513] Yeah, I love Kevin.

[3514] Well, it's been Kevin's morning show for like since, I think, January.

[3515] Kevin and is it, who's his, who's the woman, Marla?

[3516] There's a couple people to do with them.

[3517] Sorry.

[3518] I forgot her name.

[3519] I'm such and Dave, but it's, they're both great.

[3520] It's, they just fired everybody.

[3521] What?

[3522] Yeah.

[3523] That's crazy.

[3524] So there's no more.

[3525] No, no. I think it probably happened.

[3526] I mean, I don't know if it had anything to do with the corona, but it was like when it was kicking in.

[3527] Like when everyone was starting to worry about COVID -19.

[3528] Damn.

[3529] Yeah.

[3530] I'm very, very worried about just what's going to happen all these small businesses.

[3531] I don't know how much longer we can sustain this.

[3532] It's terrible.

[3533] That's terrible.

[3534] We need a plan.

[3535] I got to come.

[3536] Is there any good news?

[3537] who's on this, how about this hydrochloroquine with a xithromycin?

[3538] Does that actually help with, sorry guys, I'm a doctor, does that help with?

[3539] I read about that, and I read that there's some promise to that, and I read that there's that in a combination of some other medication.

[3540] So it's essentially this drug that they use to treat malaria.

[3541] It's an old -school drug, treat malaria.

[3542] It's hydrochloroquine.

[3543] And then they're doing something.

[3544] Something else with it.

[3545] Yeah, so it's hydroxychloroquine.

[3546] It used to be quinine.

[3547] Now it's a different, it's that people, that didn't work for malaria anymore.

[3548] So there's that, and you combine that with a zythromycin, like a Z -Pack, I guess.

[3549] And so those two things apparently mitigate the effects of the virus from what I heard.

[3550] But then I heard no, so I don't know.

[3551] Yeah, I mean, who the fuck knows?

[3552] There's also intravenous vitamin C apparently has an, uh, a. affect, a positive effect on people that are suffering from the illness.

[3553] But again, this is all anecdotal.

[3554] They don't have like a real strict protocol of how you handle this disease.

[3555] It's very easy to catch.

[3556] It's a new disease.

[3557] I haven't been as good as I should be.

[3558] I eat food that's prepared by people.

[3559] Yeah, you never know.

[3560] So, yeah.

[3561] You never know.

[3562] Yeah, they didn't know before the Carnival Cruise Line thing that it could stay on surfaces as long as 17 days.

[3563] Well, I heard nine hours.

[3564] It depends on it.

[3565] No, no, no, no. No, this is the latest.

[3566] 17 days?

[3567] The people that are examining the cruise ship or the people that are stuck on it, even people that were asymptomatic.

[3568] They still found traces of this shit 17 days later in their cabins.

[3569] Well, guess what?

[3570] I'm done.

[3571] How crazy is that?

[3572] Asymptomatic people, and you can find the stuff in their cabin 17 days later.

[3573] It's still alive waiting for a host.

[3574] I don't think Chris Leia has left his house.

[3575] Is he a germophobe?

[3576] He's just not left his house.

[3577] Well, he also has a new baby.

[3578] Yeah.

[3579] you know but but you know you get something delivered from amazon you don't know what happened yeah there's on surfaces yeah disinfect it disinfect the world all right buddy let's wrap it up brian callan thank you buddy for having uh is uh will sasso trying to pussy out of the 10 minute podcast or heard he is we're gonna do the 10 for all you 10 minute podcast lovers me chris lea and will sasso i heard saso is uh we're rebooting it getting very sassy with you you get sassy with me he just sends me pictures of bears eating eating like fish and deer he just sends He's going to do to you.

[3580] Yeah, that's what it is.

[3581] See, that guy has the biggest cabs I've ever seen in my life.

[3582] He's the funniest fucking human being.

[3583] Have you ever had him on the podcast?

[3584] No, I'd love to have a one.

[3585] I love him.

[3586] He's hilarious.

[3587] Oh, my God, he's fun to hang out with, too.

[3588] Remember when we all hung out together?

[3589] He's the best.

[3590] Will Sassow, to me, funniest human being, maybe of all time.

[3591] And coming out in a movie called Boss Level.

[3592] Each one of his calves are two of Arnold Schwarzenegger's shoulders.

[3593] Oh, dude, he's so big and strong.

[3594] But it's his calves.

[3595] Oh, yeah.

[3596] They're that big.

[3597] It's so big.

[3598] Yeah.

[3599] They're bull hearts.

[3600] They're bull hearts.

[3601] I call them bull hearts.

[3602] They're so big.

[3603] Two bull hearts in his fucking lower legs.

[3604] I remember you telling me that and then me seeing them.

[3605] I'm like, what is going on?

[3606] Well, there's a picture on the internet of my head next to his calf and my head is, my calf and head, we're the same size.

[3607] My head is the same size of the cast.

[3608] And I'm not kidding.

[3609] It's the weirdest shit I've ever seen.

[3610] Congratulations on your operator status.

[3611] Thanks, buddy.

[3612] You saw the way I squoze off those rounds.

[3613] I did.

[3614] Guys, we want to laugh right now.

[3615] Complicated AIDS on Amazon.

[3616] It is.

[3617] Look at this.

[3618] calves.

[3619] That is so crazy.

[3620] Look at the size of his fucking calf.

[3621] Dude, that is so ridiculous.

[3622] He was a power lifter.

[3623] I think he had some record.

[3624] Dude, those things are ridiculous.

[3625] Yeah.

[3626] Look at one up there.

[3627] Who's that?

[3628] Oh, that another guy?

[3629] That's him.

[3630] Jesus.

[3631] No, that's sats him.

[3632] Is that sassos?

[3633] Yes.

[3634] Jesus Christ!

[3635] Those are bull hearts.

[3636] Those are so big.

[3637] Look where they're considered on the bone.

[3638] Wow.

[3639] I like saying that's real?

[3640] Yes.

[3641] God damn.

[3642] Those look like, that looks like Arnold in his prime, right?

[3643] What's what those look like?

[3644] When he would pose?

[3645] You ever seen him?

[3646] Where is that?

[3647] Bring him...

[3648] Let me see his Instagram for a sec. You've got a lot of pictures with your face next to his calf.

[3649] That's very odd.

[3650] He's so funny.

[3651] You're wearing different shirts.

[3652] Bring his...

[3653] That's a Photoshop.

[3654] Bring his Instagram up.

[3655] I want to see something.

[3656] Oh, she cracks me up.

[3657] Go down.

[3658] Go down.

[3659] Why is he dressing like a woman?

[3660] Go down.

[3661] Why does he have a video with Arnold Schwarzener?

[3662] Is he mocking him?

[3663] I don't know.

[3664] He just...

[3665] Oh, good.

[3666] Brian, this is an audio podcast as well.

[3667] Oh, sorry.

[3668] We're just going, go down, scroll.

[3669] Never mind.

[3670] Forget it.

[3671] He's just got so many funny, fucking.

[3672] What is it just Will Sassau?

[3673] Yeah.

[3674] What is his, um, yeah, he's the fucking best.

[3675] I'm fucking sea.

[3676] He's on a boat.

[3677] A wind is on his boat.

[3678] He's just standing on his boat and he just, he just goes, I'm fucking seaworthy as fuck.

[3679] He's a silly boy.

[3680] Oh, he's fucking hilarious.

[3681] All right.

[3682] I love you, buddy.

[3683] It was fun hanging out with you.

[3684] all day today.

[3685] We had a great time.

[3686] We had to do this more often.

[3687] I can't wait.

[3688] That's one thing that I'm getting out of this more.

[3689] I'm like, I'm really appreciating friends.

[3690] Fuck yes.

[3691] That's what, when the shit gets weird, that's what you really need.

[3692] You really need friends.

[3693] You're damn right.

[3694] All right, love you people.

[3695] Bye, everybody.

[3696] See ya.

[3697] Fucking great.