MFM Presents: Adulting with Michelle Buteau and Jordan Carlos - "When Should Your Boyfriend Give Up On His Rap Career? feat. Maeve Higgins"

[0] This is Exactly Right.

[1] Hello listeners.

[2] We are thrilled to introduce the network premiere episode of our newest Exactly Right podcast, Adolting with Michelle Butteau and Jordan Carlos.

[3] Michelle and Jordan are two New York City -based comedians and longtime friends who are ready to answer your questions about the most pressing adulting topics.

[4] Like dating, skin care routines, the essentials of parenting, saving money, how to make friends as an adult, and the nitty -gritty of work life.

[5] Along the way, they invite friends and comedians to join the party.

[6] in studio and live on stage to give you a advice on your adulting journey.

[7] Live shows, live shows.

[8] The episode you're about to hear is a laugh out loud in studio conversation with the great Irish comedian and author, Maeve Higgins.

[9] So sit back, relax, and enjoy the network premiere episode of Adulting with Michelle Boutteau and Jordan Carlos.

[10] And when you're done with that episode, you can head over to the adulting feed and listen to their brand new episode featuring writer -performer Aloke.

[11] That episode was recorded live at the Bell House in Brooklyn.

[12] All the fun of being at a live show without having to leave your home.

[13] Yay.

[14] Yay.

[15] New episodes drop on Wednesdays.

[16] Follow the show wherever you get your podcast, please.

[17] Or you can listen early on Amazon music or early in ad free by subscribing to Wondery Plus on the Wondery app.

[18] And now enjoy adulting with Michelle Boutotow and Jordan Carlos.

[19] Yay.

[20] Goodbye.

[21] Oh my God.

[22] Welcome.

[23] Welcome.

[24] We are back.

[25] I know I love doing that to you.

[26] Sorry.

[27] It's too much.

[28] I am too much.

[29] But this is adulting.

[30] We finally crawled back.

[31] You guys, adulting is motherfucking back.

[32] Excuse me. You know who's got good taste?

[33] Exactly right media because they picked us up where we left off and you're like you.

[34] You.

[35] Okay.

[36] They looked at us like we were Courtney Cox with her real face and a Bruce Springsteen concert in the 80s.

[37] And we're like, yes.

[38] We're going to.

[39] What I'm doing the Dances of the mom jeans?

[40] Let's go!

[41] I mean, I can't believe that I'm actually sharing the space with you.

[42] This is amazing.

[43] I know.

[44] I'm supposed to say that, too.

[45] I should have worn a better deodorant.

[46] I had no idea.

[47] Why do you keep saying that?

[48] I can't smell a damn thing.

[49] You give off, as always, a sublime odoriferous emanation, Michelle Boutotow.

[50] You sound like a serial killer.

[51] Someone get the knives.

[52] Listen, it's Adalting, honey, and we're black.

[53] Welcome to Adolting.

[54] Michelle Bouto is with me. I am her co -from -go, Jordan Carlos.

[55] Just in case you need the refresher, or you're new to the show, we are here to walk you through all things adulting.

[56] Work, play, family, dating, sex, air, and everything in between.

[57] Oh, my God, it's so fun.

[58] Plus, we answer all of your pressing questions about adulting.

[59] And along the way, we're inviting comedians and friends of ours to help.

[60] And we are so excited to talk to our friend Irish comedian, writer extraordinaire, Mae Viggins today!

[61] That's right, honey.

[62] But first, Jordan, let's chat it up and catch it up.

[63] I love this show.

[64] I love the show so much.

[65] It really is like the therapy that I don't want to pay for.

[66] You know what I mean?

[67] Yeah, absolutely.

[68] Yeah, yeah.

[69] You don't want to pay, well, probably because the premiums are too high.

[70] Is that what it is?

[71] You know what?

[72] A good therapist is like a good black hairdresser?

[73] Like, if they're good, they're booked.

[74] They don't have time for you.

[75] You know what I mean?

[76] That's true.

[77] I'm just saying.

[78] Who's going to do your hair then?

[79] Your friend.

[80] right on the stoop i don't know you know i feel like black hair dressers should be like essential workers they are essential workers they should have gotten vaccinated first they should have gotten combat pay exactly what was i like banging these pots and pants for okay some folks and sheen honey yes it's just not okay um have you seen your person i rl yeah i offered her an obscene amount of money like deep 2020 to like just help me look like a normal person because I don't know how to do hair.

[81] Did you ever cut your own hair?

[82] No, no, no. Really?

[83] No. Do you remember the first time you went to get a haircut?

[84] Yes, I do.

[85] It was in a black neighborhood so that was scary.

[86] Wait, so you grew up in a white neighborhood.

[87] The Beverly Hills of Dallas.

[88] Let everyone know.

[89] Okay.

[90] Let everyone know.

[91] Yeah.

[92] No, we were Beverly Hills of Dallas adjacent.

[93] We were like adjacent.

[94] Because if you were black, you couldn't live in that neighborhood.

[95] But it was like, we're like, we're a neighborhood over.

[96] Okay.

[97] So the Baldwin Hills?

[98] The Baldwin Hills.

[99] Absolutely.

[100] Yes.

[101] I have cousins in Baldwin Hills.

[102] Of course you do.

[103] Anyway, the point is, yes.

[104] I remember my first haircut.

[105] I was because we were going from half -rose and afros to fades.

[106] So it was like, my mom was like, we got to get you a fade.

[107] So we went to the barbershop.

[108] Your mom was like, we got to get you.

[109] Yes.

[110] Ms. Hazel, the one and only said, we got to get you.

[111] Yes.

[112] So did your older brother have a fade and you're like, that's what I want?

[113] No, she just decided it once that we both needed fades.

[114] She saw the wind, you know, in the wind, she was, I remember seeing old photos of her with, like, leaping afros like in 1970, like, ga, ga, ga, ga, ga, ga, ga, ga, ga, ga, ga, ga, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da, you know.

[115] And she knew what to get.

[116] And, I mean, there were some misses.

[117] Mm -hmm.

[118] My mom did get a jerk curl, you know.

[119] I had a jerry curl.

[120] You had a jerry curl.

[121] My dad had a jerry curl and I had a jerry curl.

[122] And I had, I will never forget, I had a paper route because I wanted to be.

[123] I was still a tomboy, but my mom.

[124] Because my mom is mixed, she was bad at doing hair because she really never had to do her hair.

[125] And so, you know, my shit was kinkang.

[126] And I wouldn't sit still.

[127] And she was, it was a lot for her to get through.

[128] And so I got a jerry curl to make it easier.

[129] I wanted to run my fingers through my hair, like all the white girls I went to school with.

[130] I wanted to get like a big old scrunchy and just get like a ponytail on the side of my head and then like have my head hang into the side and be like, it's so heavy.

[131] But I just had like the one ponytail that I could not.

[132] mess up for the whole week.

[133] Sure.

[134] Do not sweat.

[135] Don't climb that tree unless you know how to get down.

[136] Are you saving a cat?

[137] That's not your cat to say, bitch.

[138] Get the fuck down from that tree.

[139] So I would sleep like a vampire when I was like in the third grade.

[140] It'd be like, Zoh, Zoo it.

[141] And now that I'm doing Hazel's hair, my daughter's hair, like, you know, I have realized a good ass part is how a black mother or mixed mother shows her love, you know, for her child.

[142] It's like, yes, have them dress well and have manners.

[143] But if you You can get that part straight.

[144] Oh, yeah.

[145] You love your children.

[146] That's a lot.

[147] And it's hard to get a part straight with her because she's like a cat.

[148] She doesn't want to have her hair down at all?

[149] She doesn't sit still?

[150] No. No, she is giving me Cree summer all day.

[151] Longer.

[152] Free summer.

[153] I had to also go to the black neighborhood because we were in Hamilton Square, which is the suburb of Trenton.

[154] So we had to go into Deep Trenton for me to get my hair done.

[155] Into Deep as Trenton?

[156] It was very, it was almost like Joe Clark was like the Washington.

[157] Boy.

[158] Mr. Clark.

[159] Mr. Clark.

[160] I don't say it.

[161] Mr. Clark.

[162] I don't know why.

[163] Mr. Clark, he told me that he loves me. Why is no one ever near Mr. Clark?

[164] They're always yelling his name down the hallway.

[165] Mr. Clark.

[166] Joe was trying to run and get the doors unlocked.

[167] Yeah, I know.

[168] I love that.

[169] And then remember, he was like, you want to kill yourself, Sam's?

[170] Do it expeditions.

[171] Jump.

[172] Use smoke crack, don't you?

[173] Don't you smoke crack?

[174] Trenton was the real deal though I mean that was That's where that movie takes place Yes Trent High Well East Side High I believe it's what they call it But yeah that's where I would get my hair done And at East Side High Ma 'am Ma 'am But it's You know I want to take my kids To get their first haircut Right now Husband's doing Otis's hair Because it's the pandemic Where we're going to go I got a guy You got a guy?

[175] I got a guy.

[176] You always got a guy.

[177] I got a hair guy.

[178] I got a hair guy for like mixed kids.

[179] But you're in a different borough.

[180] No, but this guy's in Manhattan.

[181] Oh, okay.

[182] Yeah, his place is right.

[183] I mean, can we do a plug?

[184] His place is called Har.

[185] It's H -A -R -R.

[186] It's very cool.

[187] It's like queer friendly.

[188] It is people that are like, it's fantastic.

[189] I love a come -one, come -all.

[190] Yeah, it's come -one -com.

[191] Oh, okay.

[192] I love a come -on -comall.

[193] And it's an old -timey barbershop.

[194] So it's like they would, he would absolutely love Otis in the chair.

[195] My guy, Ken, is fantastic.

[196] And he gets out the little wedge, you know, for little boys, put the wedge in.

[197] And Ken himself is mixed.

[198] Okay.

[199] So he's mixed black and Italian, so he knows that.

[200] Where do the mixed kids go?

[201] They go to Har.

[202] They go to Har.

[203] I love that.

[204] Yeah, yeah.

[205] Did he misspell hair?

[206] Or that's just really the name of it.

[207] I mean, it's vexing.

[208] It's a choice.

[209] You know what I'm saying?

[210] Yes.

[211] If you can get over that small hurdle.

[212] Yeah.

[213] If you can clear that, H. A -A -R, then you are in for a treat.

[214] It is amazing.

[215] Like, Kais is going to be like, Michelle, I love it.

[216] I love this place.

[217] Okay.

[218] I can't wait to go back.

[219] That is not the Kais, I know.

[220] Michelle, I love?

[221] I don't.

[222] My husband does not sound like a nerdy IKEA showroom employee in Sweden.

[223] So sorry he doesn't have an like extra lingonberry sauce for that ass.

[224] What is wrong with you?

[225] This is not your audition for S &L, okay?

[226] You better take that shit to.

[227] Pete Davison.

[228] I take it back.

[229] Pete Davis.

[230] Can let's not even get started?

[231] He's going to space.

[232] I heard that.

[233] I mean, Kim K's Puss and Space, where has the board not been?

[234] Can he do it?

[235] He's got a ruffer president at this point, not of the United States, but something.

[236] I really was trying to talk about getting your first haircut, but this is way more entertaining.

[237] No, no. I want to hear, I want to hear, like, first of all, I want to hear about getting your first jerry curl, though.

[238] Like, the drip, drip chemicals.

[239] The drip chemicals.

[240] all the pillowcases were ruined everything on the couch was ruined I love that I couldn't even like put my hand through my hair because it was just like a mess and if you all don't know what a jerry curl is it's basically a relaxer for your hair to make it wavy and then you you had a poor chemical gel, gel on it the stuff that you would find in between like your home chef box like in the packaging like that is like the thick gooey ooey -ooey you're putting on your head and the buildup on your scalp because essentially your follicles need to breathe and so you know you have to keep them that's why you have to like scratch your hair when you like wash it and stuff and keep shampoo on there for like five minutes before you everyone wants to keep the conditioner on me and keep the shampoo on okay no one this is the shit you learn also being in a hair chair has taught me so much about being in a relationship because go on you have to be patient right you can't backseat drive and assume what someone's going to do you have to wait To see what they've done, their finished product, appreciate what they have done, right?

[241] Like say something nice before constructive.

[242] Okay.

[243] And so that has helped me a lot, sitting in a lot of hair chairs, because back in the day, it was like magical chairs.

[244] Like, you would get up and then go sit down and dry and then wait another hour because someone's cousin came in and then go back in and they go out for a smoke break.

[245] Uh -oh.

[246] And it's just like, fuck, man, are you coming back to do my hair?

[247] Right, right, right, right.

[248] Right.

[249] I mean, were you ever concerned about how flammable Jerry Girl Juice was?

[250] No, because I was like 14.

[251] Okay.

[252] So.

[253] You'd seen Michael Jackson.

[254] Yes.

[255] You'd seen the Pepsi commercial.

[256] But he was rich.

[257] I was like, stuff like that happens to rich people.

[258] What?

[259] Like, I did not know.

[260] I did not know.

[261] You weren't worried about it.

[262] But finding that right person to do your hair, you're absolutely right.

[263] It took me a long time.

[264] It's like finding a church home, as we say down south.

[265] It's like finding the right church.

[266] It's finding the right person.

[267] Yes.

[268] It's being able to trust them.

[269] And it's like for life.

[270] Like my wife has seen the same hairdresser for almost 20 years now.

[271] She talks about this hairdresser all the time.

[272] Christoph and I have gone out.

[273] We've gone out on mandates.

[274] The bond is real.

[275] It goes deep.

[276] It's a special relationship because it's the person that makes you feel your best self.

[277] Absolutely.

[278] Like anyone that those poor moms that have like eight feet of hair on the Today Show and they turn around in the mirror when they have like a bob and like a roohing like a rooshed cobalt dresser.

[279] I'm like, it's the best man I've ever seen.

[280] It's like you can't leave that person ever.

[281] And especially, you know, with black and mixed hair, your identity is everything.

[282] And people definitely judge you right the fuck away.

[283] Yeah.

[284] With your hair.

[285] I had a barber.

[286] I went to summer college in Virginia.

[287] They said when I got there, do not go to the barber after one o 'clock he drinks.

[288] Oh, shit.

[289] It's like, whatever.

[290] And so I went and then he fucked up my head.

[291] But a girl still kissed me that summer.

[292] Okay, because she felt sorry for you.

[293] Well, yeah.

[294] And then also...

[295] Did you have game?

[296] No. Okay.

[297] Maybe like...

[298] It was your game that you had no game?

[299] I mean, like, no, I, no. It was just a very...

[300] Are you okay?

[301] No. When you turn into a robot, I feel like I got an abort mission.

[302] No. Well, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes.

[303] No, no. I'm just being earnest and honest, I don't have game.

[304] I'm just like, I like you.

[305] And then it scares people.

[306] And then, that's it.

[307] You know, and I'm like, okay, fine.

[308] You know, that's it.

[309] But that summer, because it was like, I wasn't in my, like, same environment.

[310] I was in Virginia.

[311] You ever, like, go to camp, whatever?

[312] And now you're, like, a whole new person.

[313] Yeah.

[314] So that happened.

[315] Yeah.

[316] And, like, nobody knew anything about me. There was no internet.

[317] So I could be, like, the person that I kind of wanted to be.

[318] Yes.

[319] Had no history.

[320] And this girl was just like, no, I like this guy.

[321] Bam, I don't care.

[322] Ficked up haircut and everything.

[323] Oh.

[324] And she, yeah, she made out with me. And I was like, I was like, I made out with her.

[325] I kissed her really rough and passionately.

[326] And then she's like, oh, my God, it's too much.

[327] She was like, I guess sometimes I kiss like Harrison Ford.

[328] Who said that?

[329] Me. Why did you say that?

[330] Because Harrison Ford kisses hard in movies.

[331] Watch Harrison Ford kiss people in movies.

[332] Which movie?

[333] Are we talking regarding Henry?

[334] Are we regarding Henry?

[335] The Rich Crackas?

[336] Are we?

[337] We're talking about, we're talking about, um, fucking Indiana Jones.

[338] one, two, three, the tip of doom, all that.

[339] Like, he kisses hard.

[340] Just look.

[341] Okay.

[342] He creates a suction.

[343] But like no tongue.

[344] No tongue.

[345] Just a nice suction on the face.

[346] All right, Callista Flockhart.

[347] Tell me all about it.

[348] Yeah.

[349] He makes like an airlock.

[350] And that's what I was doing.

[351] And I was like, I was like, I'm sorry.

[352] I guess I kiss like Harrison Ford.

[353] And she was like, oh, this is almost over.

[354] I love that you got your kissing technique from Harrison Ford and not porn.

[355] Because you know these kids are fast and furious with no Ben Diesel.

[356] I don't know.

[357] I was about to say something about getting your hair cut, but never mind.

[358] I want to know about, like, was your mom present in the first time you had your haircut?

[359] Did she say, like, do this to her, do that to her, that kind of thing?

[360] She's an anxious person, so she wanted it to look good and flat and straight and manageable.

[361] And I love, what I loved about Lauren Hill and the Fugis was that they were cool.

[362] They were woke before we knew what woke was.

[363] They're from New Jersey.

[364] They're from Jersey by way of Caribbean ancestry.

[365] And they just love the way they look no matter what.

[366] And I was like, God, how do I achieve that?

[367] I want to be a part of that.

[368] You know what I mean?

[369] Yeah.

[370] A lot of confidence.

[371] Yeah, there's so much in hair, especially if you have a parent that has different hair texture than you.

[372] Especially realizing that, you know, as a mixed or black woman, your hair on your head is at least two to four different textures.

[373] I didn't even know that shit to like five years ago.

[374] Wow.

[375] I just thought it was a problem area.

[376] You have, yeah, you have many textures, you know.

[377] It's beautiful.

[378] Thank you.

[379] No, no, it's beautiful.

[380] I love your hair, you know?

[381] Oh, thank you.

[382] Oh, we got some pieces on right now because we just did Radio City Music Hall.

[383] So this is the shock -a -con hair.

[384] Okay.

[385] This is the shock -a -con hair.

[386] And that's another thing I learned, too.

[387] Yeah, yeah.

[388] Being on TV sets, they will ruin your hair, even if they're black hair dressers.

[389] And you try to, like, speak up for what you want.

[390] we're just not meant to do our hair all the time so I you know I always encourage people to get pieces or wigs because you've got to protect the shit that you have oh for sure I mean but that was the first time I ever learned to speak up for myself wasn't a barber's chair because they'd be like what do you want to do yeah and you're like I'd like a two you know and it's like I'd like an edge up closer to the skin please nice you know and then give me like one of these you know like a line here just because it's 1997 and you know like make me look like nots.

[391] Yes.

[392] Because you want to rule the world.

[393] Yeah.

[394] I mean, I free all my sons.

[395] Look.

[396] I love them too, baby.

[397] Yeah.

[398] I mean, I think we can't license this.

[399] We can't.

[400] We cannot.

[401] We cannot.

[402] But when you guys had bad haircut because that dude was drunk after 1 p .m., did you say anything to him?

[403] Or do you just, like, walk away and be like, thank you.

[404] I skulked out of there.

[405] And it was not cool.

[406] It was like a small Virginia town.

[407] It was like something out of a Wild West movie.

[408] And they were just like, God damn.

[409] that barber done fuck up your head boy it's like oh shit man oh no but then my friend was like you know the difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut right oh i was like what he's like five days so yeah yeah yeah that's basically it okay yeah yeah i'm not mad at that and she's still made out with me am i right folks absolutely you are such an 80s movie because it always comes down to the girl it always comes down to the girl you know it's really funny is and then i'll tell you the i'll tell you the honey huh she was like she was like um why don't we go back up to your room and i was like well i don't think that's the wisest decision right now so we just i went back to my room i don't understand what you're saying she wanted to have in you know she wanted to celebrate my body she wanted to sit on your dig and you said no i didn't i wasn't ready for that much pressure oh my god you know i didn't i no i wanted to go to sleep with myself good for you and just have a a great story.

[410] This is just everything about you says I carried a watermelon.

[411] And I'm so here for it.

[412] Should we move on to our...

[413] I mean, we've got to move on to our guests, right?

[414] Yeah.

[415] Oh my God, we're very lucky to have this guest as well.

[416] So lucky.

[417] Yeah.

[418] I mean, I missed her.

[419] It's been forever.

[420] She's in the room right now.

[421] Hello?

[422] I know.

[423] But they don't know that.

[424] I'm always with you.

[425] We have to give the proper intro.

[426] I know.

[427] We got to give her an intro because she deserves.

[428] Extraordinaire.

[429] She's a comedian.

[430] A comedian.

[431] Super hilarious.

[432] A wit.

[433] Thank you.

[434] Dare I say a public intellectual?

[435] Yeah, that's right.

[436] She co -host Butterboy.

[437] Yes, she does.

[438] I'm still waiting for the Butterboy to come out on stage.

[439] Where's the Butterboy?

[440] No butter, no boy.

[441] He comes sliding out one day.

[442] We all get the shock of our life.

[443] She's written multiple books recently.

[444] She's so smart.

[445] Her most recent is tell everyone on this train, I love them.

[446] Okay, I will.

[447] Which came out in February of this year.

[448] And do you want me to just read a book?

[449] blurb about the book?

[450] I know, Jordan.

[451] Yeah, here we go.

[452] Do it in the Obama accent, please.

[453] Deeply funny, moving, and urgent writing about a country that can feel broken into pieces.

[454] Oh, my God.

[455] And the light that shines through the cracks from Irish comedian, Maeve Higgins, author of Navy in America.

[456] My president.

[457] Everybody, please welcome.

[458] Thank you.

[459] Thank you.

[460] To be here.

[461] I see both of you.

[462] So many questions.

[463] You were in Ireland for a little bit, no?

[464] Yes.

[465] Actually, yeah, in 2020, I was in Texas on a like reporting trip and I got so scared because I was down there at like a reporting on like a border security event.

[466] Oh, how was that?

[467] It was like a government, it was the Department of Homeland Security and I was writing about it.

[468] And they were all acting so casual as the pandemic was spreading.

[469] Like you remember that month when it was like, is it will we, won't we?

[470] And then suddenly the Irish government.

[471] cancelled St. Patrick's Day which has never happened in the history of the world.

[472] And that to me was like a big, like a big shamrock in the sky saying like, come home.

[473] Meanwhile, the US government who I was like writing about down at the board, they were like clapping each other on the shoulders and like sharing bagels at this conference and I said I need to get out of this country.

[474] Yeah.

[475] So I was one of those little rats that abandoned the ship.

[476] So you were, you're from Cork, right?

[477] Yeah, so I went back home to where I'm from Cove in Ireland.

[478] And that is where the first immigrant through the gates of Ellis Island, she also left from my hometown.

[479] Wow.

[480] Yeah, the first, she was like 17.

[481] And there's a statue of her over on Alice Island now.

[482] And that woman today is Maeve Higgins.

[483] She hosts a comedy show and go on us for some reason.

[484] Looks like we made it.

[485] I love it.

[486] That's so cool.

[487] I didn't know that.

[488] Yeah, I mean, it's not, it's not like, there's not like many boasts I can say about my hometown.

[489] They're all very sad.

[490] Like, it was the last place, Titanic stopped.

[491] Oh, my goodness.

[492] Leo stopped there for like.

[493] Leo was there, yeah.

[494] I mean, I was like, before he was kicked off that little door, the floating door.

[495] And Kate Winslow said, I'll stay up here.

[496] Was there nothing else floating in the water that could have helped?

[497] There was plenty of room for him too.

[498] But he couldn't leave Rose.

[499] God, that must have been incredible sex.

[500] She could have just yanked him up on to the door.

[501] I know, but we didn't, you know, this was like, this was, this was, this was like Kate Winslet's, like, her time to be.

[502] Yeah, but you know those couples at restaurants that have to sit on the same side of the booth and hold hands?

[503] That was them.

[504] The French?

[505] It was still so new.

[506] Yeah, yeah, I feel you.

[507] You know what I mean?

[508] Yeah.

[509] Yeah.

[510] So, so you think it was like, it was like kind of like feminist of her to not let him.

[511] I'm not not saying that.

[512] She's a bad feminist.

[513] L -O -L -L -S -Roxy and gay.

[514] So this is just a very weird general question.

[515] Living in New York and from Ireland, what is the biggest rumor about the Irish people that everybody has wrong?

[516] Oh, I think that we're like smiley and friendly.

[517] Because people don't understand that like we're so dark and judgmental.

[518] But I think because we come off as so like, you know, top of the morning to you.

[519] But really we're deeply unhappy.

[520] be, you know, and kind of like mean.

[521] Unhappy and mean?

[522] Yeah, I think so.

[523] I've read James Joyce.

[524] I get it.

[525] Yeah, there you go.

[526] He was very unhappy.

[527] But he liked farts.

[528] He was way into farts during sex.

[529] Yeah.

[530] Oh, my God.

[531] I mean, what an intellect.

[532] I think Matt Damon said it best in that movie.

[533] Oh, my God.

[534] Martin Scorsese was that movie.

[535] Departed?

[536] Yeah, departed.

[537] Where he was like, he told Vermiglia.

[538] Yeah, he was like, look, I'm Irish American, like, if you're miserable, I'm miserable, I stay.

[539] I don't go anywhere.

[540] He's like, if you're unhappy, you really actually have to physically leave because I, yeah, I will stay in it.

[541] Freud was stumped by the Irish and he found them inscrutable.

[542] That is true.

[543] Sigmund Freud was like, I fucking can't.

[544] This is a true thing you found them inscrutable.

[545] I mean, maybe that was just our accent.

[546] Maybe, perhaps.

[547] Like, maybe we were like, oh, you have daddy of shoes or whatever.

[548] He was like, what?

[549] But you've lived such an interesting, interesting background.

[550] You lived in Zimbabwe.

[551] Yeah, when I was a child.

[552] Yeah.

[553] As a child.

[554] And then you have like, don't you have seven siblings?

[555] Yes, I do.

[556] What do you do with that many siblings?

[557] It's real cute.

[558] Oh, we do.

[559] Yeah, we all look very alike.

[560] But I mean, so do your kids.

[561] I mean, I don't think that's like it.

[562] Yeah, I know.

[563] I'm the only child, so I'm just like, isn't that fun?

[564] Oh.

[565] But my parents also look alike.

[566] So.

[567] I think people turn into.

[568] into each other at the end because my parents are both light -skinned from the back I can't tell mom or dad it's just light -skinned flat -ed and I'm like ma, dad whoever and they both just turn around and you still don't know who's there I still don't know I still don't know yeah I think yeah definitely mine are becoming more alike as they get older too yeah it's just probably from spending so much time together yeah I mean maybe you and Jordan are going to start looking alike because you're like work husband and wife I mean we could probably pass for brother sister or cussies.

[569] Oh, God.

[570] I'd love to be your cousin.

[571] Oh, God.

[572] He's so happy with the idea.

[573] Yeah, and it's exactly.

[574] You see, that's family, right?

[575] It's just like I could think of nothing worse than that.

[576] No, ma 'am.

[577] I'd make you the beneficiary of so many things I own.

[578] Okay, so Zimbabwe.

[579] We're living in Zimbabwe.

[580] Was it Habitat for humanity?

[581] We love Zimbabwe.

[582] We love it, except for the dictator.

[583] I know, I know.

[584] That part.

[585] Yeah, we lived in Zimbabwe and, I mean, Robert Mugabe is still...

[586] Is Robert Mugabe still alive?

[587] Is he still alive?

[588] I don't know.

[589] I think he's dead now, but his wife is in charge.

[590] Oh.

[591] I thought Rick James was alive like five years ago, so you can't ask me that.

[592] That's going to be the name of this episode.

[593] Is Robert Mugabe alive?

[594] He's another pressing questions.

[595] How is Mugabe doing?

[596] He had a golden toilet, I believe.

[597] I was there in like 1992 and he was alive then.

[598] And like my brother, who was just a year older than me, he was.

[599] you know, like nine or ten or something.

[600] He, I guess, was at a school event and shook Mugabe's hand.

[601] And then, like, so we would always tease my brother, like, your friends with a dictator.

[602] Like, your best friends are Robert Mugabe.

[603] Like, you know, how can you live with yourself?

[604] Oh, my God.

[605] But it was because he had to, like, it was like a school thing or.

[606] Yeah, we were going to do not shake Mugabe's hand.

[607] We were like, that's the president.

[608] How do you find time to write?

[609] Oh, well.

[610] Because you're an epic writer.

[611] I write.

[612] Well, honestly, Michelle, I write just when I have to.

[613] So if I have a deadline or something.

[614] Yeah.

[615] But I definitely find it hard to sit down and focus.

[616] And I always read about like, how do other writers do it.

[617] And like, Roldahl used to tie himself to his chair.

[618] And he did, this is like, he was writing.

[619] Whoa, the children's author?

[620] Yeah.

[621] He had a shed.

[622] I know where I am.

[623] I know.

[624] He wrote The Witches and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

[625] I want to see how this.

[626] end.

[627] Yeah, go ahead, please.

[628] Yeah, I want to see how this ends.

[629] Go on.

[630] There's nothing more untoward than that, I promise.

[631] Like, he just would, he would just tie himself to the chair in the morning and, like, make himself sit there, not allowed to go to the restroom, not allowed to, like, take a, you know, discipline.

[632] Yeah, exactly.

[633] Airplane mode in, yeah, in like 1950 or whenever he was writing.

[634] And so I do think it is something to, something to that, like about making space for yourself But tons of parents that I know find it really hard Because it just seems like there's so much pulling on our attention So you have to kind of fight for that time But deadlines help and if you're not going to get paid Until you hand it in You know practical stuff like that I think really helps Now tell me something because I read a bit of your book Thank you I'm you almost drowned in South Africa Your mom helped you And then you also feel And I want to get to this you feel responsible for your little sister?

[635] Oh, well, when you're from a big family, which you're not, right?

[636] Big American family, it's three.

[637] Three kids.

[638] Michelle one.

[639] I'm from a big family, which is why they decide to have one, so I would know who my parents are.

[640] Isn't it so nice?

[641] Welcome to the Caribbean.

[642] And yet, you still can tell them apart when they're standing going from you.

[643] Yeah, I mean, I think that when you grow up as the older, in a big family so there's actually eight of us and I'm number three then you just kind of are actually responsible for the younger one it's not really even a feeling and like in Ireland there's a thing called Mammy Ella which is like Mammy being mom and Ella meaning other and like the older girls in the family are called Mammy Ella's so it's like the other mothers and like you know obviously I talk through this with my therapist every week but like at the time it's very normal actually I think it's kind of fine anyway.

[644] You know, it's just like you have to look out for these smaller people.

[645] Yeah.

[646] You just have to because like two grownups are often, it's one grown up.

[647] Yeah.

[648] Looking after this whole clutch of children, you know, you have to help with their reading, changing their nappies, doing their food, like everything.

[649] Yeah, because it's too much.

[650] They're nappies?

[651] Or their diapers.

[652] Oh, yeah.

[653] Yeah.

[654] I love that.

[655] They're nappies?

[656] I love that.

[657] And then, oh, please go ahead.

[658] What was it like when you decided to leave and come here and pursue stand -up and a writing career.

[659] Well, the funny thing is the older three left and we scattered around the world.

[660] I think maybe it's because we were so tight at home.

[661] Yeah, totally.

[662] Because it was like, yeah, my sister immediately, she's lived all over the world and worked all over the world.

[663] My brother, the same, like Mongolia, around Africa, and now he's in the Middle East.

[664] And then I didn't do anything as adventurous.

[665] I just went to London and then I came here because that's where the stand -up is.

[666] Yeah, of course, of course.

[667] The stand -up that I keep trying to break into that I keep hearing about.

[668] Please.

[669] I think I'm going to age well.

[670] But I, you know, I think the other lucky thing for me is it's so close, right?

[671] Because Ireland's only less than a six -hour flight away.

[672] What's dating in Ireland like?

[673] I'm guessing, like, a lot of good butter and then going to a nice pub with a snug.

[674] Yeah, that's it.

[675] What kind of butter do you like?

[676] I like every kind of butter.

[677] But so do I. I love it.

[678] Oh, my God.

[679] We'll get Paris.

[680] Oh, my God.

[681] Come on.

[682] Let's put the hoe and hoesher, everybody.

[683] Let's go.

[684] Let's do it.

[685] I'm sorry.

[686] I love Irish butter.

[687] I'm sorry.

[688] I just love Irish butter.

[689] No, I do too.

[690] I mean, yeah, I think you do have to be careful that you don't end up with somebody that you're related to.

[691] All the usual, like, it's a small island.

[692] You have to take the precautions.

[693] I think people probably settle down much younger than they do here, in New York at least.

[694] I'm very specifically talking about New York really because I guess outside of New York people do settle down you know a bit younger Yeah Yeah so Just be careful you're not cousins That happens a lot In my mom's home state of Mississippi Oh yeah First you have to check if you're cousins And how does she and your dad meet I'm so curious Oh you want to know about my dad Mave don't even start Mave has been I'm asking about your parents Maeve Higgins has been torturing me for almost two years now about my father.

[695] My father is a good -looking man. You posted a picture of your father and it broke the internet.

[696] It was like that time you did it.

[697] Did you ever meet him in person?

[698] I've met him on Zoom.

[699] I don't think I've met him on person.

[700] My dad has great looks.

[701] He's a good -looking man. He dresses and he's, you know, so I just, you know, I went through.

[702] your Instagram found more you know what you do when you have a little silly crush and it's the middle of a plague and I fell in I fell in love I didn't think we would broach this topic today Jordan feels so he's so immature about it he feels so awkward about it because it would mean I guess me being his stepmother and he can't be he can't just wake up to modern things like this happen all the time Jordan I think this is great content Let's turn this into a Netflix show.

[703] Please don't say this.

[704] Okay.

[705] Mave is always being like, it's your stepmother texting you.

[706] How are you this morning?

[707] I'm just like...

[708] Yeah, because I care about you because you're my son.

[709] She's very good at crude comedic Photoshop.

[710] And so she'll just make photos of her and my dad together.

[711] Wait, is it real?

[712] To me, yes.

[713] When is...

[714] I guess his parents like, do they renew their vows or something?

[715] Yes.

[716] Yeah, they renewed their vows.

[717] So I put my...

[718] face like on his mom's body and sent him I took a lot of time actually Jordan because I wanted him to get used to the idea of seeing us together.

[719] It was it was just a lot for me and it doesn't you know the face and body don't match exactly but I still think it looks you know you did you did the work the damage has been done and then I find out his father is a doctor and I'm not the first one to have this crush either because why did we wait so long into this episode to figure out that you were his stepmom.

[720] Like now I feel bamboozled.

[721] This text begins.

[722] Like, what was Thanksgiving dinner like?

[723] How come I didn't know?

[724] That's the first thing we should have set out the game.

[725] Because Jordan makes it awkward.

[726] All the grown -ups are fine about us.

[727] Let me see this picture, Jordan.

[728] No, I don't have the picture.

[729] I don't have it.

[730] Oh, you deleted it?

[731] No, I don't know if I don't know what happened to it.

[732] I'm sure she's kind of like puts some kind of disappearing ink on it and it's gone now.

[733] But like this.

[734] Disappearing ink.

[735] This is what it says on the 26th when she sent me her lovely book.

[736] It said, hi, son.

[737] I hope you're safe and cozy.

[738] That's as she begins.

[739] Because I'm trying to reestablish the back.

[740] Because it's awkward because we've been friends for so many years and then suddenly I'm, you know, fucking his dad.

[741] You're not.

[742] If you could just make sure.

[743] Did your dad get the vaccine yet?

[744] Just wondering.

[745] Thursday, April 1st.

[746] My God.

[747] I think this is a good time to get to questions from the audience.

[748] We got some questions from the audience that we would love you to help us answer.

[749] Okay, wonderful.

[750] Is it rude to decline being a groomsman?

[751] I mean, bridesmaid, I guess that you do get in trouble if you say no. But maybe men are a bit better at that, okay about it.

[752] I think what, I think.

[753] You found it difficult when your father and I, he did feel conflicted but he did it though no no because it would have been rude had you said no oh god it's nice to know that my dad is desired beyond my mother and but i will say to answer the question that i that that question is about it's not about being a groomsman at the wedding itself it's about bachelor parties and the ridiculous debauchery that happens at bachelor parties and how people get turned inside out and you become somebody that you don't want to be by the end of the weekend.

[754] I remember my one friend's bachelor party in Montreal, basically what happened was by the end of the weekend, I did not know my friend.

[755] We were at a rest stop strip club right at the outskirts of Quebec and, you know, at the Quebec border because he wanted one more go.

[756] Oh, God.

[757] He needed one more go.

[758] What in the sideways is going on?

[759] I don't know.

[760] It was, because...

[761] And what was your...

[762] You were the groomsmen, so you had to sit by him or...

[763] Yeah, yeah.

[764] And, like, hand him dollars and stuff.

[765] Loyalty, you know?

[766] Yeah.

[767] Loyalty.

[768] Because in Montreal, en puttouchet.

[769] One is allowed to touch the strippers.

[770] Ah, where were?

[771] So that was that.

[772] And by the end, it was just like, dude, I don't even fucking...

[773] Yeah.

[774] Yeah.

[775] I mean, I feel like you really see people's true colors at a bachelor or a bachelorette party and a buffet.

[776] Yeah.

[777] Just yuck.

[778] You're a greedy bitch.

[779] You don't need stewed beef and cottage cheese.

[780] I fucking get your life together.

[781] I thought I fucking knew you.

[782] Unfollowed beef and cottage cheese.

[783] You know, as I will say, as someone who had to pick bridesmaids and godparents, you pick those people for a reason.

[784] Yeah.

[785] Everybody adds something in your life.

[786] You know that you have friends for different reasons.

[787] One can make a very serious moment.

[788] light and funny another one is like a good time another one might know you longer and better than everybody else so i feel like it should be just a conversation about responsibility we shouldn't just get like a book you know um saying this is what groomsmen do and this is what you should pay for and stuff it should be it should be a conversation it's about comfort have you yeah have you ever been a bridesmaid at one of your siblings weddings um no actually because that's so many people Never a bridesmaid.

[789] Oh, no. That is your rom -com, never a bridesmaid.

[790] You're dying to be a bridesmaid.

[791] 27 stresses.

[792] Oh, my God.

[793] 27 stresses.

[794] Oh, my God.

[795] I'm like, shook now sitting here.

[796] Welcome to adults.

[797] Maybe they like small weddings.

[798] Maybe that's it.

[799] Yeah, maybe they want to give you, they knew that you were their mama Ella.

[800] Ella, Ella, Ella, A, and they were like, no more responsibility.

[801] I have six sisters.

[802] What about the youngest?

[803] That's a sister, right?

[804] Yeah, actually, Aggie's not married, yeah.

[805] She might, yeah, throw me a pitty dress.

[806] Aggie's my aunt's name.

[807] And, no. Don't you fucking say it.

[808] I know what I'm saying.

[809] Don't you fucking say it.

[810] Who, child.

[811] These pants are getting tight.

[812] Okay, here's the next question.

[813] How much money.

[814] I was going to stare off.

[815] in the middle distance.

[816] No one's making eye contact is a very weird podcast right now.

[817] How much money should you save to move out on your own in NYC?

[818] Oh, goodness.

[819] I mean, my friend texts me that it's $2 .2 million to retire in NYC.

[820] Yeah, that's about right.

[821] Is it?

[822] That feels like a year.

[823] I think that that is right.

[824] Yeah, I don't know what age actually you retire at, so that's a good point.

[825] Do you say $2 .2 million to retire?

[826] Mm -hmm.

[827] Okay, but this is just moving out onto your own.

[828] Oh, my goodness.

[829] We can scale that down to just getting your own apartment.

[830] Are you tired?

[831] Do they really want a number?

[832] Because I would say $20 ,000.

[833] Yeah.

[834] I'd say that.

[835] That's a good number.

[836] Yeah.

[837] To be safe.

[838] That's a good number to start.

[839] Yeah.

[840] I think it really depends what neighborhood and what floor you're on.

[841] And are you by a local train or an express train?

[842] Yeah.

[843] How far do you want to walk from the subway?

[844] What neighborhood do you work in?

[845] All of these things you have to take into consideration that really tells you.

[846] Where your friends live.

[847] Yeah.

[848] You know, you need a bodega and like a coffee shop and whatever you might need.

[849] But I think...

[850] Cheapest apartments are usually on the second floor.

[851] Nobody wants to live on the second floor.

[852] Why not?

[853] Because the noise travels up.

[854] And then also, let's say, like, a first floor might have access to the backyard.

[855] Yeah.

[856] Top floor also has access to the backyard.

[857] But the second floor just like...

[858] I lived on the second floor before.

[859] Yeah?

[860] And the rats can still get up there.

[861] Oh, no. That was my main thing.

[862] I'm like, yeah, it was in Midtown.

[863] And my roommate had an all -white cat named Cocaine.

[864] And cocaine taught her, read it?

[865] Wow.

[866] Oh, that's awful.

[867] I did just write about rats in the city.

[868] And, yeah, I won't terrify you.

[869] But there's a comedy writer, Carl Arnheiner, who lives in Long Island and had one come up as twilight and showed me the video.

[870] Oh, no. What is it?

[871] I think we have a kind of a love -hate relationship with the rats in the city because, yeah, we have like the pizza rat.

[872] They can be comical sometimes.

[873] Yeah.

[874] And they're kind of like a symbol, you know, like survivors.

[875] Like, we feel like rats kind of.

[876] No. Not me. Cocaine sitting there.

[877] I'm like a gazelle with Timmies.

[878] Get out of here.

[879] Is there one king rat holding up the city?

[880] Like ratless?

[881] He just holds up the city itself.

[882] Ratless?

[883] Yeah.

[884] On his shoulders.

[885] Oh, my God.

[886] Your stepmom loves that.

[887] Yeah.

[888] I'm trying to encourage him.

[889] Next question.

[890] The next question is, this is a weird question, but also a very specific.

[891] specific one and we love specificity here um when should your boyfriend give up on his rap career oh what season what time of years you can quit you know i have a friend who has been doing comedy for over 20 years wow they're not very funny right i'm right here they've stopped you stop it they've even gone through a divorce because their partner couldn't deal with they said living the lie, and the other one said supporting.

[892] Oh, living the lie.

[893] Which one did the comedians say?

[894] Supporting.

[895] I know, I'm just kidding.

[896] Oh, I'm sorry.

[897] I'm not your stepmom.

[898] I can't pick up on when you're being sarcastic.

[899] I know all his moods and tones.

[900] You do.

[901] He's just like his father.

[902] Shut up.

[903] Oh, my God.

[904] I'm a name of therapist.

[905] Have to support.

[906] If you're in love with someone who has something that's bigger than a hobby.

[907] How do you spread your legs for that?

[908] And they're asking, so they obviously think the person should give it up.

[909] Because they're saying when should he give it off?

[910] So there's no question of like...

[911] When should a boyfriend give up on his rap career.

[912] When he's your husband?

[913] Put the ring on.

[914] Put the mic down.

[915] That's such an old tomato.

[916] Like, what do you mean?

[917] The old tomato?

[918] The old tomato.

[919] I feel like it's never going to happen and, you know, that's okay.

[920] And maybe there's a thing that I was just listening to this podcast about quitting and when it's a good time to quit.

[921] And they say you should assess everything.

[922] Maybe to tell the person, have that person, have your mate and have yourself assess everything in your life, except your relationships, every six months, you know.

[923] And if you should quit a passion or a job.

[924] or something like that.

[925] Right.

[926] Because you never can't tell.

[927] If you're rapping, like something could pop off.

[928] Like, you know, some people have hung in the, yeah, like Dave.

[929] Yeah, absolutely.

[930] You can hang in there and you never know what happens.

[931] Like, that guy NIMS out in Coney Island.

[932] He's the one who came up with like, Bing Bong, fuck your life.

[933] Like that guy.

[934] That's my boyfriend, actually.

[935] That's your boyfriend?

[936] When I heard those two words, Bing Bong, I had to have him.

[937] No, but it's like, but the other thing is career is the problem there for me because it's like, if someone wants to rap or be creative, in any way I'm just so there for it and they need to do that and we all need to express ourselves but if the person is like I'm going to make money from this that's when it changes and it's like if it's stopping them from supporting themselves or supporting their family that's the problem also I feel like when people have this desire this passion should do something in their life and they want to make money at it they don't realize that they also are leaving themselves open for all types of criticism And, you know, I don't think people realize that's a part of it, too.

[938] Like, you write all the time about shit that people don't want to talk about.

[939] Yeah.

[940] That needs to be talked about.

[941] Wait, rats and toilets?

[942] Well, I mean, racism at all.

[943] I know.

[944] I know.

[945] And the comment section is not fucking fun.

[946] No. Especially for an opinionated smart woman.

[947] Right.

[948] And it's like, how do you, now I'm just asking off top of like, how do you deal?

[949] with that.

[950] Yeah.

[951] I mean, I think at the beginning, it kind of was a motivator for me, so I'll prove them wrong, but it really does wear you down, especially when like, you know, I feel like, I know what I'm talking about.

[952] Like, I just got a master's degree.

[953] Like, you know, stuff like I try and be as thorough and, you know, good at the job as I can be.

[954] And people are still just like, no. Yeah.

[955] Yeah.

[956] So it does get exhausting.

[957] I don't really know a good way of dealing with it, except having your peers and your friends and, you know, just staying bolstered in other ways.

[958] Yeah.

[959] But you're very right, though.

[960] If you make a career out of something you love, you kind of lose the innocence of it because people come at you for doing that thing.

[961] Also, he might not be popular here.

[962] You know, I have an in -law, you know, it would be your in -law, too.

[963] That's right.

[964] Tell them.

[965] And I love when you talk about our family.

[966] I'm like, go ahead.

[967] So's a good boy.

[968] Very popular in England.

[969] No way.

[970] And in Europe.

[971] Yeah.

[972] Yeah, yeah.

[973] He's a sensational musician just not popular in America.

[974] Ars Barker is a great comedian.

[975] Huge in Australia.

[976] Huge in Australia.

[977] I dated a guy who had no money, not even a Metro card.

[978] And he wanted to start his own magazine.

[979] I'm like, you can't even go Frostown.

[980] And went to Croatia, became like, the country.

[981] Kanye West of Croatia.

[982] Exactly.

[983] Really?

[984] Yes.

[985] And I'm like, good for you.

[986] Also, fuck you.

[987] Okay.

[988] Let's do one more question.

[989] Since your mother -in -law was nice enough to come all the way down here.

[990] Yeah.

[991] Thanks, Mom.

[992] This is a good question.

[993] This is a good question.

[994] Okay.

[995] When you go grocery shopping, do you shop for the entire week, a day, or plan to go out and get food regardless?

[996] She's from Europe.

[997] She does it just for the day.

[998] I know.

[999] They do it for the day.

[1000] The little bread sticking out of the bag on your bike just like Emily you know making a plum cake I need to one fillet but I'd love to be is it adulting to get a weekly shop isn't it I mean it's whatever you whatever's adult for you I think if I was an organized dream grown up I would definitely do a weekly shop and then you know if I was like out at a show or something, and everyone's like, now we're going to get some terrible food.

[1001] I'd be like, I have my, you know, keesh at home or something.

[1002] That's my dream to achieve.

[1003] Yeah, it's my favorite.

[1004] I mean, yeah.

[1005] I always love cooking.

[1006] What about you?

[1007] Do you shop weekly?

[1008] What do you do?

[1009] I do it all.

[1010] So I get really inspired by recipes and what's in season and like trying to figure out what to use in the fridge when it's at the end.

[1011] Like, my favorite now is like going through all the protein that we have at the bottom of the freezer and making a paella.

[1012] I'm like, what I'm going to do with these two scallops and these five shrimp and this half a chicken breast?

[1013] Oh, perfect.

[1014] So that's always been my go -to.

[1015] But, you know, I love shopping for a big family.

[1016] I feel like I've always wanted to.

[1017] So cute.

[1018] Yeah.

[1019] So, yeah, I shop for the week.

[1020] But then I also like pop out and get stuff during the day.

[1021] I shop for the strong.

[1022] When I, when I shop, she.

[1023] What?

[1024] What?

[1025] Mom loves my hominemes.

[1026] Oh my God.

[1027] Mom loves my hominemes.

[1028] We said it so much we have to leave this bit in.

[1029] Mominums.

[1030] My momonyms.

[1031] Can we have the room, please?

[1032] I'm the one of, well, I do most of the shopping.

[1033] I do the shopping and I like it.

[1034] I love the rewards program and everything like that.

[1035] They give you the 10 % after you've gone there a long time.

[1036] I love my local shop.

[1037] It's like it's unionized to the people that work there are really happy.

[1038] and it's it's really nice and like you know when you get like the you get the organic stuff I get my goji berries I get all like you know it makes you feel like a like you're taking care of yourself yeah yeah and with my kids my kids never say they never open the refrigerator and you're like we're out of edamami you know I'm like it's right there kid you know what I'm saying it's like they never lack for anything so that's what I oh that's lovely that's my favorite feeling too yeah yeah I hate to say we don't have it anymore you know what I mean Like we ran out Unless it's like the night before If it's like Saturday And you need milk You know Or whatever it is Like you can go a day With that orange shoes She'd be all right You know what I mean That's what I mean That's both of you That is adulting Big time Having that's such a great sign That you don't run out of stuff Yeah Adulting is definitely a weird mix Of being thoughtful And taking care of people But also really fucking Taking care of yourself Yes Yeah Because like you can't do all that other stuff, if you are like falling down and like have a, I don't know, like just like a handful of mac and cheese in your own.

[1039] There are moments like that.

[1040] Are you describing me in 2021?

[1041] There are moments like that.

[1042] All of 2021.

[1043] Oh my goodness.

[1044] Well, this was lovely.

[1045] Do you want to promote anything?

[1046] Just my book.

[1047] You know, I'm finding it hard to just have to date people so that they buy my book.

[1048] So I think it would be easier to do a podcast and say my book.

[1049] Yes, the book.

[1050] Tell everyone on this train.

[1051] I love them.

[1052] Which has beautiful cover art. Beautiful jacket art. I love it so much.

[1053] Oh, my gosh.

[1054] Yeah, I was lucky this artist called Ilya Milstein did this beautiful drawing, like an animated cover.

[1055] So I was delighted with that.

[1056] Gorgeous.

[1057] Yeah.

[1058] And thanks for having me and I'm so thrilled.

[1059] This podcast is back.

[1060] I missed it.

[1061] Oh.

[1062] Yeah.

[1063] Yeah.

[1064] Definitely.

[1065] And I'm just so proud of you.

[1066] You know, me and your father, we just start.

[1067] Jesus Christ.

[1068] I'm so happy with how you're trying.

[1069] You're a lovely friend here, Michelle.

[1070] You're kidding.

[1071] You're just killing it.

[1072] You're giving us.

[1073] Yeah.

[1074] You have a wonderful Thanksgiving and I know you're worried, but...

[1075] Yeah, no. More like, Maeve hit me upside my head.

[1076] That was hilarious.

[1077] That's what I'm saying.

[1078] Okay.

[1079] Well, I'm going to take a walk around the block before...

[1080] We'll pick you up.

[1081] Here's $5.

[1082] Oh, my God.

[1083] I can't meet your eyes right now.

[1084] Maeve Higgins.

[1085] Well, excuse me, this was a very nice time.

[1086] I'm so glad I got a babysitter, a .k .a. my husband.

[1087] And I love doing adulting with you, Jordan.

[1088] I love to answer these questions.

[1089] Honestly, if you guys have any questions that you'd like us to answer, we would love to hear them.

[1090] Yes.

[1091] You can email us at adulting questions at gmail .com.

[1092] That's adulting questions at gmail .com.

[1093] For the people in the back.

[1094] Adultsing questions at gmail .com.

[1095] Well, I got to go home and take this bra off and the edible starting to kick him.

[1096] Thank you so much.

[1097] I'm going to go.

[1098] Are you going to stay?

[1099] You're going to come with me. I'm going to go watch Gilded Age.

[1100] Great.

[1101] Bye, everyone.

[1102] This has been an exactly right production.

[1103] Our senior producer is Natalie Rinn.

[1104] Senior managing producer is Hannah Kyle Creight.

[1105] This episode was sound design and mixed by Andrew Eppin.

[1106] And engineered by Ryobam.

[1107] Our guest booker is Patrick Cottner.

[1108] Our theme song is by DJ Don Will.

[1109] Photography by Reis Vendermost.

[1110] Artwork by Jamie Bechtel.

[1111] Executive produced by Karen Kilgariff, Georgia Harstark, and Danielle Kramer.

[1112] Follow the show on Instagram at Adulting the podcast.

[1113] Email your questions to adulting questions at gmail .com.

[1114] Mm -hmm.