#1063 - Tom Segura

[0] This dog.

[1] We're good?

[2] All right.

[3] We're live.

[4] Sort of.

[5] Sort of live.

[6] We're rolling.

[7] We're rolling.

[8] We're rolling.

[9] We're rolling, dog.

[10] So we were talking about the game.

[11] We stopped because we figured this is probably good for the podcast.

[12] So Ari finally paid off the bet.

[13] I already paid it off in a big way, man. Big way.

[14] In a big way.

[15] So if you remember, when we were doing the weight loss challenge, it was like whoever wins decides the sporting event.

[16] We're all sports fans, basically, you know.

[17] And I said at the time, I was like, let's go see Barcelona.

[18] I think I wanted to see Barcelona play Paris in, you know, some tournament cup, a tournament that they were playing in.

[19] And I was like, you know, two of the premier teams, and it would be fun to go to Europe and make Ari pay for it, you know.

[20] So I told him that, and he was like, I'm going to, like, fucking Malaysia.

[21] And he just left.

[22] So never heard from him again.

[23] And four months later, you know how it all played out.

[24] So when he got back, he was getting fucking slam by people because he was supposed to pay up this bet, you know?

[25] Right.

[26] And people were destroying him.

[27] You know that.

[28] I mean, online, they were just like, well, sure, you're a piece of shit.

[29] Probably worse than that.

[30] But anyways, once we got to, like, hanging out, once we did the sober October thing, he was just like, right before that, actually, I think he was like, what do you want to go, which means like, what do you want to do, right?

[31] And I go, well, how about?

[32] I go, he's like, you know, you picked the event.

[33] I go, I'm a big college football fan.

[34] Let's go to the national championship game.

[35] And I remember at the end of 2013 season, 2014, FSU and Auburn played in the Rose Bowl out here.

[36] And Bert's an FSU alum.

[37] I'm a big FSU fan.

[38] I was like, let's go to the game.

[39] And I remember that we met, it was like, We got somebody who had students, because they both always in the national championship, they allow students to go to the game for pretty expensive, much less than the general public can go for.

[40] In other words, because you want students to have the ability to go to see their school play.

[41] So we got like student tickets for, I think they were 350 each.

[42] And that's pretty expensive, you know, especially for a student.

[43] But I remember Bert treated me. He bought the ticket from me. And we went to that game and he left that fucking halftime of the next.

[44] National Championship game.

[45] Why do you leave?

[46] He was, I'm tired, I go to see the kids, I've been drinking.

[47] He just left.

[48] It was one of the best games.

[49] He just left you there?

[50] Yeah, we were sitting in separate sections, but I was like, are you fucking, I was like texting him?

[51] He was like, I'm home.

[52] Yeah, yeah.

[53] He knew more people at the game because a lot of his friends that he went to school with were at the game too, but I'm like, you're gone?

[54] Did you just see the kickoff return that just, the lead just like swung?

[55] He was like, I'm at home.

[56] I was like, all right.

[57] So, all right, Psycho.

[58] So weird.

[59] So weird.

[60] I gave him shit for it.

[61] I still gave him shit for it.

[62] But it ended up being just this amazing finish.

[63] So anyways, when I tell Ari I want to go to this, I'm kind of thinking that's the ballpark.

[64] Like, because that's the only experience I have.

[65] So the game's in Atlanta.

[66] He buys tickets.

[67] And I'm like, I go, you're not flying me, coach.

[68] You know that.

[69] He's like, no, you're a champ.

[70] You go first.

[71] Burke is coach.

[72] He'll get him.

[73] Burk his coach.

[74] And I'll get him a seatbelt extension.

[75] I'm like, all right, cool.

[76] But Byrd ended up going from somewhere else.

[77] So anyways, he bought the ticket.

[78] He got an Airbnb, a really nice house, you know, for a few days in Atlanta.

[79] And then it's, you know, the big thing is game day.

[80] And I'm thinking, like, oh, that's cool that you got these tickets and you got, you know.

[81] But I think it's like reasonable.

[82] And then we get to the stadium.

[83] It was a total fucking disaster to get in because Trump went to the game.

[84] So it was raining.

[85] It was wet.

[86] Secret Service everywhere.

[87] two -hour lines to get into the venue and I paid a guy a security guy a hundred bucks to walk us through the line which is which was almost impossible because it was so packed but I don't know he just started walking us through the line like in front of people people were yelling at the security guy which was like so uncomfortable because he's like a young black kid and like old white people were like the fuck are you doing he's like I'm security and they're like you're not security you piece of shit like right to was right in front of us and I was like god damn like I just have never seen someone flip out like that what we were doing was highly unethical we shouldn't have done it but like we just weren't going to wait in that line and then bert of course bert in a crowd like that he's like it's okay I'm famous we're famous guys like yelling that to people which is like no he didn't oh absolutely he's like everywhere we went if we went to a restaurant they would come up like hey can I get you guys something to drink and he'd be like do you recognize this we're like they were like what was he serious I mean, I think it's part of his, like, you know, whatever, style.

[88] And then they were like, I'm sorry?

[89] So part of a joke or part of, like, kind of a joke, but not a hundred percent?

[90] He's like halfway in the middle because one time he was like, we're famous comedians.

[91] And the lady was like, oh, I know you are.

[92] And he was like, isn't that awesome being famous guys?

[93] And I'm like, shut up.

[94] And he was serious?

[95] I mean, he's like half serious.

[96] Oh, so weird.

[97] But it's like you see him in his element.

[98] It's like him with crowds is really, like you realize he really enjoys it.

[99] Like he really enjoys the large groups.

[100] He enjoys being recognized.

[101] He fucking, like sometimes we were walking and people were like, hey, you're the guy.

[102] I've seen you on Facebook.

[103] He's like, do you want a picture?

[104] And they were like, okay.

[105] Jesus Christ, fuck.

[106] Yeah, he loves it.

[107] He loves it.

[108] And then we were talking about how, like, people would say, like, Tom.

[109] And I were like, yeah, and they're like, hey, and then they would walk away.

[110] They wouldn't come over to me. They're like, hi, and then they'd walk another way.

[111] But with Bert, they're like, I hug you?

[112] They take the shirt off.

[113] They say you together.

[114] They love it.

[115] And he's like in his glory with it.

[116] It's perfect.

[117] So anyways, we get through this horrific line into this unbelievable $1 .6 billion stadium that they built in Atlanta.

[118] I mean, it's fucking amazing.

[119] It's such a beautiful, just stand -alone stadium.

[120] You know, it's so state -of -the -art.

[121] It's incredible.

[122] We get in there, Ari got us 50 -yard lines.

[123] So right in the middle, like 20 rows back.

[124] I'm like, these are fucking amazing.

[125] Like, you couldn't ask for better seats.

[126] It has, like, some club access for, like, free booze, free food, catered food, prime rip.

[127] I'm like, Jesus.

[128] I'm like, how much did you pay for these tickets?

[129] And he's like, mm -hmm.

[130] I go, yeah, I want to know.

[131] $3 ,500 each.

[132] Whoa.

[133] I was like, Ari, are you fucking shit?

[134] And he's like, how to do it?

[135] How to do it?

[136] Oh, yeah.

[137] But he fucking spent over 10 grand on tickets for us, man. Wow.

[138] Unreal, man. That's amazing.

[139] I mean, those are great seats, dude.

[140] Like, those are absolutely amazing seats.

[141] You know, when the McGregor -Mayweather fight was going on, Yeah.

[142] I was hearing that people were buying tickets for a quarter million dollars.

[143] That's fucking retarded.

[144] That's so dumb to pay that much money.

[145] You say that, right?

[146] Yeah.

[147] But you're bawling pretty hard right now.

[148] I mean, back in the dizzy, if you thought about some of the shit that you can do now.

[149] Yeah, that's true.

[150] I would be like, that's impossible.

[151] So we were talking about Jeff Bezos before the show, who's now the richest man in human history.

[152] It's like inconceivable amount of money.

[153] He's worth $105 billion, right?

[154] Which is just like, what the fuck?

[155] He's like the eighth biggest landowner in the United States.

[156] Do you know that?

[157] He just buys.

[158] It's crazy.

[159] I'm not stunned, though.

[160] Of course not.

[161] He has 300 ,000 acres of Texas.

[162] Whoa.

[163] That's a lot.

[164] That's a lot.

[165] Yeah.

[166] That's a big slab.

[167] Yeah.

[168] He's just bawling out of control.

[169] I'm pretty sure his D .C. home was either, I feel like he was either a museum or a hotel before.

[170] He was like, make that shit in my house now.

[171] It was like a museum.

[172] They're like, it's your house.

[173] I wonder what he's like to hang out with.

[174] There's a photo of him.

[175] See if you could find this photo, Jamie.

[176] There's a photo of Jeff Bezos from 1993.

[177] And he's got like a vinyl banner above his desk.

[178] It says Amazon .com.

[179] And it's just him in this janky little fucking IKEA desk.

[180] Yeah.

[181] Like bad clothes.

[182] Kind of chubby.

[183] And now he's like, got some muscle on.

[184] He's jacked and tan and probably got a supermodel for a girlfriend, does he?

[185] No. He's got a wife working.

[186] regular yeah normal yeah really she's an author yeah how odd I know odd he doesn't schedule morning meetings so you can hang out with the kids really yeah wow I read all this stuff I wonder why he's going so hard hmm you know when you hit a hundred five billion yeah you would think you'd go eh we're good I know I think you just start really collecting because you're like because you know when he bought the Washington Post you know it's not like he's like I love journalism right be cool to own a newspaper you know what I mean like what do you at that level you're just like I like waterfalls are there any for sale or something you know he's got Washington Post is one of the weird ones where you get a link someone will send you a link and you click on it and it's a Washington Post article and it says you obviously love great journalists that's right sign up like fuck off they don't even give you the free reads I feel like New York Times will give you 10 free I signed up after I, you know, I kept clicking those.

[187] I was like, I better sign up.

[188] Washington Post, I feel like, click number one.

[189] They're like, do you want to read this?

[190] Do you want to pay or not?

[191] Yeah, I'm not paying.

[192] Yeah.

[193] I mean, I support paying for journalism, but I feel like they should give us a taste.

[194] You know, we should get a little taste.

[195] It's tough to trust journalism these days.

[196] It's tough to trust, like, how fucking weirdie your article is going to be.

[197] That's true.

[198] Journalism is tough.

[199] Watching news has become.

[200] Man, I remember when it started to skew to personality and taste.

[201] Yeah.

[202] Now it's like off the rails.

[203] It is off the rails.

[204] That's where the money is.

[205] I know.

[206] But it's like you're totally just going with who, like you're going to watch, you can select what do I feel like leaning towards.

[207] Yeah.

[208] And then you watch that.

[209] Tucker Carlson.

[210] Yeah.

[211] Or, you know.

[212] Yeah, yeah, Rachel Maddow.

[213] Yeah.

[214] There he is.

[215] Look at that picture.

[216] Oh, my God.

[217] Isn't that crazy?

[218] Yes.

[219] He looks nothing like that.

[220] that now yeah it's what a hundred and five billion will do he's just sitting there with that amazon .com banner i hope that's still hanging somewhere in his house yeah he probably shoots loads on that thing what do you oh my god yeah crazy that he started out i remember amazon being a book thing yeah remember being a place to buy books and remember thinking how weird like an online bookstore why wouldn't you just go to the bookstore store or you could see the book right like and all those books stores shut like they closed he killed all of them yeah there's only a few left well i know a guy who got a deal with amazon dot com to publish a book who's like when amazon started publishing books and they blackballed him because of this because he had had traditional outlet deals before and you know his books would be front and center in barns noble and all his other different places he's a pretty popular author but as soon as he went to Amazon .com, they're like, fuck you, and they just shut them out.

[221] They shut them out of all those stores.

[222] Yeah.

[223] And I was like, whoa, like there's like a weird book war going on that I didn't know about.

[224] They're both probably trying, I mean, those book people were trying to keep their business model going and thriving, you know, and he's right.

[225] Yeah, but doing it by threats is never the way to go.

[226] Probably not, no. I mean, the best way to go is when Amazon publishes a book that people actually want to buy in your store, you dumb fuck, put it in your store.

[227] You know what I hate about these super rich guys they'll never in their interviews talk, like, the only one who will talk, like, what it's like to ball at that level and make it sound fun.

[228] And, like, the things you want to ask is Mark Cuban.

[229] I've seen him in interviews be like, ah, yeah, I got a lot of shit.

[230] And, like, knows that, like, that's a genuine curiosity for people.

[231] Like, how fun is that?

[232] You have two 747s.

[233] He's like, yeah, man, that's pretty cool, right?

[234] And he talks about it.

[235] But I saw this interview with Gates.

[236] And this guy was asking all those questions.

[237] He was like, do you have to worry about, like, when somebody asks you to, like, when you ask for something that someone's going to try to ask for more because of your known wealth?

[238] He's like, you know, my charity really is, like, just, like, dodging all those questions.

[239] Yeah.

[240] Of, like, the fun shit that everyone wants to know.

[241] He just kept going back to his charity.

[242] We're like, we know you're a fucking charitable guy.

[243] Tell us what it's like to own six planes, bro.

[244] Like, what kind of shit do you have?

[245] He's like this Zanadu house.

[246] It's like 70 ,000 square feet or something.

[247] Well, he's got a house.

[248] I think it's on Puget Sound.

[249] It's somewhere in the Seattle area.

[250] Yeah, I think it's Medina.

[251] Medina or Medina?

[252] Is that what it is?

[253] I think that's what it's called.

[254] But it's so freaky.

[255] Look at that.

[256] Looks like you're using an ad blocker.

[257] What do you pull up?

[258] What did you pull up?

[259] 19 crazy facts about his house.

[260] Oh, okay.

[261] $123 million.

[262] Disable your ad blocker so we could read it.

[263] Oh, my gosh.

[264] So we were in Seattle, and there's this thing.

[265] that's near a bridge where you go under this bridge and they have these clear walls where you can see the salmon swimming up the salmon ladders like they have everything set up with these clear like glass walls and you can watch it.

[266] It's really pretty badass.

[267] Yeah.

[268] But the guy who was there who was the you know the guide of this thing who's explaining us you know how this works and which kind of salmon you're looking at and the whole deal he was like you know my uncle worked on the Bill Gates house He starts talking about Bill Gates' house, where Bill Gates' house is, and where he lives.

[269] And I remember thinking, like, how weird must it be if you're so rich that all everybody wants to do is talk about, like, hey, my friend worked on his house.

[270] And I was like, well, what's it like?

[271] And he just starts describing his skills, well, he has, like, some sort of a submarine access in case he's getting kidnapped.

[272] Like, someone's trying to jack him.

[273] They can get in a submarine and shoot out into the river.

[274] I'm like, what?

[275] Yeah.

[276] I don't know how much of that is even true, because this guy seemed like.

[277] Like, he was missing a little piece of his brain.

[278] Start really adding stuff to that.

[279] Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

[280] I was like, how much of this is urban myth?

[281] I know that they were reporting even, like, I don't know, when that house was built 10, 15 or whatever years ago, that even back then there was shit in his house because it was super high tech of like if you walked in a room, music would play.

[282] And as you left the room, music would die down and pick up in the next room.

[283] So, you know, it had like, which I think you could probably.

[284] regular person could probably do something like that now but like that was unheard of yeah i think you wore a pin you put a pin on and that pin as you walked into different rooms recognized that you were the person so you had specific colors that you liked so they'd be like backlighting that was it's like to be his kids like he's big on uh he's the one that started that giving pledge which is like for billionaires to give the overwhelming majority of their wealth right to charity so that you don't pass on billions to your children right you like so his thing is like i'm going to leave my kids money but not like crazy money but you're like yeah that's you know i totally get the idea behind that but also like if you grew up with his you know you're his kid and you're like oh there's we got lions this year whatever and then and then you're like you know you grow up and you're like i'm a whatever a photographer now uh my dad left me five million dollars but like five million dollars is great it's great but my thing is like it's such a step down from what they're used to i don't feel even remotely bad for some fucking kid who gets five million dollars from his dad i don't feel bad what i'm saying is that that adjustment has to kick you in the balls i mean the exposure that they've had the lifestyle is like it's not it's unfathomable to us like we can't even it's beyond they're just like it's like being a prince, you know, it's like your dad's the Sultan of Brunei, and then he's like, well, go fucking, I mean, they're probably well -adjusted.

[285] I don't know why I assume that, but I think that, like, he and his wife seem like such reasonable people that I bet they've, you know, prepared them for what's coming.

[286] Well, they've got to figure out a way to make it on their own, and how do you get a kid to do that?

[287] That's tough, right?

[288] You know?

[289] How do you get a kid to do that who's growing up like that?

[290] Right.

[291] Yeah.

[292] Do you think about that with your kid?

[293] Like, as you're Starting a ball out of control.

[294] Yeah, I think about it for sure.

[295] Like, how do you, and then, like, how to not, you know, you want to prepare your kid for that?

[296] And, like, how will a boy, I don't know, maybe especially, boys align with their dads usually in a certain way, you know, like, well, the kid compares himself to you and your success, but you don't want him to feel like, you know, he's less than.

[297] Right, in your shadow.

[298] Sure, yeah.

[299] Especially, like, what if he goes into comedy?

[300] Oh my god Have you thought about it if your daughters were to go in a comedy?

[301] My seven -year -old's hilarious She's really funny Does she ever like I'm sure she's like this she doesn't know what the fuck comedy is No She just knows how to be silly Has she seen you on the TV doing it?

[302] Not really No She flipped through Netflix and makes fun of me Really?

[303] Yeah Like nice jeans dad No she starts mocking me Really?

[304] Yeah she's just Ruthlessly funny That's cool goes after it seven -year -old is the younger yeah yeah she goes after it all the time she's going after jokes that's hilarious yeah she's just she's really funny but I see her becoming like a YouTube character or something well how do you how do you what do you think about as far as like them not feeling you know uh overwhelmed by your success or status do you ever think about I think it's less likely because they're girls you know but I was actually having a conversation with Neil Brennan about this last night we were talking about another famous guy i don't know him that well so i won't use his name but he has uh two sons and uh at least one daughter the daughter's highly motivated he's not worried about it or all she kicks ass in school she's awesome the sons are fucking insanely lazy and they just sit around they know that when they turn 26 they get a giant check yeah and they're 25 now and they don't do shit and he's terrible super worried about it i would be too do you know yeah that's a that's a that's a uh that's a it's like a nightmare man well it's like it's so hard to actually do something if you don't have to it's so hard to make something happen in your life right to start a business to enter into a career to become successful at it to really focus and try to get good to the point where you're successful at something you have to have a fire inside of you you have to have a need to achieve yeah if you already have a Ferrari and you're already living in a mansion you already have $10 million in the bank you already have all your bills paid you don't have to get up in the morning if you don't want to yeah the idea of just becoming this disciplined machine out there to try to kick ass in this life be self actualized so hard so hard to pull off you can't you gotta like dial back to on the spoiling I think I went to high school with a grandson of a billionaire and they were very present in like the area you know and you know they drove like used cars the the grandkids I'm saying and had obviously they could have gotten way more but it was like instilling this you're not just going to coast through everything and they got jobs and as far as I like I know about now what he's doing now is like he's working you know he's really working even though he's going to inherit like just crazy amounts of money right you know but I mean part of it too is just the name nature of that person.

[305] I think you can try to not go crazy with, you know, taking care of gifts and all that stuff.

[306] But some of that drive has to come from within, no matter what your socioeconomic level is.

[307] Yeah, I would imagine some of it.

[308] I think there's people that are, that grow up rich that it doesn't matter.

[309] Doesn't matter.

[310] They're just, they're going to succeed.

[311] Yeah.

[312] They love it.

[313] They like succeeding.

[314] They like working hard.

[315] They like getting things done.

[316] Yeah.

[317] But then there's like, what causes a kid to be a lot?

[318] lazy fuck you know like you come home the kids on the couch just with their feet up and they don't yeah did you do what I asked you do I was gonna yeah but something happened Mike called and fucking I know people like that scars out of gas yeah I think there's something wrong just I mean I know people like that who you want to shake yeah you know like the fuck is wrong with you but they I think a lot of times they just it's almost like they fear doing the thing yeah scared they're scared what if I do something and I suck at it you know that kind of thing there's definitely that yeah there's well you see that in a lot of um like amateur comics that are sort of starting to make it into comedy yeah you see like a lot of like sabotage didn't you know that stress of you're just doing open mic nights and then all of a sudden you're starting to get paid and then some people start moving forward and other people get left behind sure remember those days of course i remember thinking like man boy there's a lot of people here that are sabotaging themselves oh yeah You can see the stress of, because stand -up in particular is so open -ended.

[319] Like, you could make of it what you want.

[320] You put in as much as you want.

[321] You either can be successful or not, depending upon how much you focus on it, how much talent you have, how much drive and discipline you have.

[322] And a couple breaks.

[323] Yeah, and a couple breaks.

[324] It's a bunch of factors.

[325] Yeah.

[326] And sometimes those factors are just too overwhelming to some people.

[327] And you see them just start tanking it.

[328] They're drinking at the store every night.

[329] Yeah.

[330] Yeah, because it's scary.

[331] just the truth is that it's scary yeah i remember and people handle it different ways like i remember the people who'd be like they would just say like this is a you know this isn't going to work out like i don't know why we're doing this oh yeah those people yeah and i always was always like dude don't talk to me anymore like i don't want to hear you yeah you're fucking so negative but they're doing that just to sort of eliminate that pain of failing yeah you know they're just They're trying to, like, just address it now.

[332] Eh, come on, we're just normal, guys.

[333] It's never going to happen.

[334] It's never going to happen.

[335] You and I will just get a fucking regular job.

[336] We'll be working for Amazon or something.

[337] Yeah.

[338] And you're like, what?

[339] You're talking about, man. Yeah, there's people who are like, yeah, this doesn't.

[340] You know, you can't make any money doing this.

[341] I remember that a lot, too.

[342] It's like, you can't make any money doing this.

[343] I was like, well, you can't make any money right now.

[344] It doesn't mean you're not going to make money later.

[345] And they're like, well, how are you going to get to later?

[346] Because there's no money now.

[347] I'm like, you know what's almost as weird?

[348] do you remember the development deal years were you around during the development deal years i was at the tail and i was at where they were like they were like ah two years ago you would make six hundred thousand dollars for that saying yes christ yeah i was there for the development deal years but i kind of was working during most of it because during most of it i was doing news radio when it got really hot i was doing news radio and i remember that there were comics that would go to Montreal.

[349] They would do the comedy festival.

[350] They would have these sets and they would come back and they had half million dollar deals.

[351] And they were, there was sitcoms and they were convinced that it was all fucking happening for them.

[352] Yeah.

[353] And I remember I had quite more than one conversation with one of these people that were trying to put me on their show.

[354] Comics that have never worked since.

[355] Like you do not hear from them.

[356] You should do my show.

[357] Yeah, bro.

[358] My show's guaranteed is what's going to happen it's guaranteed go to air it doesn't go to air there's a million dollar backup deal like they had all this stuff that they were telling you about like they went the opposite way instead of like being like terrified of the future to the point where they were just like letting themselves off the hook they were super confident in this weird delusional it's definitely happening for me thing odd man yeah it's odd to subscribe see that would always scare me because I'm more my my just more life perspective is like Like, you don't, you don't react until, like, the check clears.

[359] Yeah, right?

[360] Yeah, I don't go, like, this definitely happening.

[361] No, it's always, like, wait and see.

[362] Well, those people that, it was interesting because they, none of them made it.

[363] Yeah.

[364] None of them.

[365] And they were all convinced.

[366] But it was a weird convinced.

[367] It was like, have you, what?

[368] Yeah.

[369] Like, you're not even that good.

[370] You know, that's what I wanted to tell them.

[371] Of course.

[372] You got lucky, man. You had a pretty, you're kind of cute.

[373] You had a pretty decent set.

[374] in front of a very willing crowd.

[375] Yeah.

[376] And someone took a chance on you because people are going, there was a nutty time, I guess we should describe it to people.

[377] There was a nutty time where they were just chucking around development deals, like a regular person who probably had no business being on stage could get a $100 ,000 development deal.

[378] Yeah, I literally just missed that.

[379] I think they said that the last big one that they talked about was like 05.

[380] They're like, that was like one of the last big six -figure development deals which is basically you go to Montreal you know which is the Just for Labs big festival all the executives go they all basically party for a week yeah it was like an excuse to do work and then you know they were signing people up with those checks and we literally I went in the 07 new faces class and they're like oh two years ago someone got eight hundred and fifty thousand dollars for his 15 minutes set 850 it's like one of the big the last big ones that uh failed like they they had a record there was like a tallying of like this person this person this person all got them and nothing came of it and then they like went all in in 05 on a couple other people and then that didn't pan out something so they're like fuck these development deals man now it's done no it never happens now you know you never hear about them no I got one in 93 I got a development deal in 93 wow yeah from the festival or just for the festival wow yeah yeah I went to the festival with a deal.

[381] That's crazy.

[382] Yeah, I had a deal with Disney.

[383] Yeah, now they, that shit never happens.

[384] It was the weirdest thing in the world because it was, I went from being fucking broke.

[385] Yeah.

[386] Like, you know, oh, I'm making $300 this weekend if I go to this place and do a set on Friday night.

[387] Yeah.

[388] And then, you know.

[389] You got six figures.

[390] Yeah.

[391] Did you think, were you like, this is crazy right now?

[392] I think I got 100 the first time and then there was a second part of it where I got 50.

[393] it was just like what yeah it's so i was eating lobster every night didn't you say that like your accountant made business manager call he thought he thought i had a gambling problem it's so funny it's like nope just eating like a king yeah and he was like what how are you spending so much money and i was like i'm just spending money like this is how i'm going to live from now on yeah he's like that is the stupidest fucking thing i've ever heard in my life why i was right yeah because i was right yeah you're right it just took a chance yeah that's so cool it could have turned out terribly wrong but the the the thing that was weird about it that was the most incredible thing was that um once i started working and once the money the the check came in and um i didn't have to think about my bills anymore there was a physical feeling of relief like a physical feeling of relief yeah to go from being broke and have no idea how you're going to pay your bills and just trying to hustle up a hundred dollar set or a seventy five dollar set somewhere to go from that to just not having to worry about money yeah instantaneously you know after taxes having you know X amount of dollars in the bank and just going what that's in the bank yeah that's crazy I know but then the feeling like a lightness of being like like like like I felt physically lighter like it's so much of your like it consumes you for so so much of your life is like and there's this bill and then there's that bill it's like it's on your mind all the time yeah you know like oh shit and i know i got these weeks of work lined up but like then that other thing's going to come up so i better and i need to call it because it's all you think about but i think it goes the other way too i think that when you get to like this jeff bezos level i think then all of a sudden it's a burden because i feel like there's the lightness the lightness is like brian callan had a saying once and i've repeated it a bunch of time because i think he nailed it he said you want to get rich enough so that you don't have to worry about your bills and you don't have to worry about how much things cost when you go to eat at a restaurant yeah that's great because everything else up to that is bullshit that's true it's true yeah yeah all that other stuff like acquiring stuff and yeah yeah jewelry and shit like that like what are you doing with all that no you're right and it's like um there's that thing too when like you have enough money to go to restaurants and sometimes you'll go to a restaurant and And the special is this cut of meat, and there's a lobster on the side, and it's $69 .95.

[394] And you're like, not a problem.

[395] Yeah.

[396] I always feel like it's weird when they tell you the price.

[397] I know.

[398] You're like, what are you fucking going to embarrass me here at the table?

[399] I'm good.

[400] But it's an odd thing.

[401] Like, sometimes they tell you the price, and sometimes they don't.

[402] Sometimes they just tell you the special.

[403] We have a rack of lamb.

[404] Oh, that sounds good.

[405] Nice restaurants.

[406] A lot of times there's multiple items that just says market price.

[407] Yeah, that's a weird one.

[408] And you can just be like, I want that.

[409] And they're like, you said so.

[410] And then they just bring it to you.

[411] And you're like, that's $400.

[412] What?

[413] Yeah, what kind of market is this?

[414] This is crazy.

[415] But don't you think that if you get to the point where you're worth $105 billion, just to focus on you alone?

[416] It's a lot.

[417] Yeah.

[418] It must be overwhelming.

[419] Must be overwhelming.

[420] And also, it's like to the Bill Gates thing, it's like it is the thing that everybody probably wants.

[421] wants to ask you talk about it.

[422] Oh, yeah.

[423] It's like, everyone knows you have a 15 -inch dick.

[424] And they're like, let me see it, man. Just let me see it.

[425] Can I touch it?

[426] Can I see it?

[427] What does it?

[428] It tastes like a regular dick?

[429] Like, it's limp and it's 15 inches?

[430] It's crazy.

[431] It's like knowing that about someone.

[432] It's all everyone.

[433] So yeah, I think that energy you feel that everyone's like, you're super rich.

[434] Yeah.

[435] Because we're all fascinated, especially in this country with, you know, accumulating wealth.

[436] It's like, I feel like it's heightened here.

[437] Yeah, for sure.

[438] Well, I mean, think about how much of the culture is about balling.

[439] You know, I mean, it's all about young entertainment culture is all about showing diamonds and stepping out of rolls.

[440] I saw this dude, I don't know his name.

[441] They showed him getting a jewelry that he bought, and you saw that?

[442] And it has an emblem with a 69, and it spins, and he's got, like, diamond teeth.

[443] And then he had, like, he had, like, 200 grand in his waistband.

[444] He just took it out and was like, ah, yeah, stacking the money.

[445] It's just like it's a fascination with like, look how much shit I have and all the shit I can buy.

[446] Like that's part of the culture now.

[447] It's been going on for a long time.

[448] It has been.

[449] It's coming up from poverty.

[450] That's what it is.

[451] Right.

[452] It's the idea is that these guys were all like super poor and then they made it and here, this is what happens when you make it.

[453] It's kind of, you know what it's kind of also, we see that in like hip hop a lot here.

[454] But it's also what you saw with a major drug traffickers.

[455] They all come from extreme poverty, all of them.

[456] El Chapo, Pablo Escobar super, super poor and they accumulate in crazy amounts of wealth and then they're like look at all my shit you know it's like you see this like the parallel it's the same thing yeah like when Pablo Escobar oh my God when he had hippos and shit he had like a fucking zoo his house yeah he had when he built his prison you know he was like I'll serve time but I'm building it and there was soccer fields and then he would fly in national players They'd be like, play soccer with me today.

[457] Yeah.

[458] And they're like, okay.

[459] And even after all that, he was like, nah, I don't want to be here anymore.

[460] Yeah, I'm going to get out of here.

[461] I'm leaving.

[462] Yeah.

[463] So much.

[464] Built his own prison.

[465] What?

[466] And they had parties.

[467] Joey Diaz got me on this show.

[468] Because I watched Narcos, which is a great Netflix series.

[469] And then there's another series called Surviving Escobar.

[470] And it follows, Eskabar had a right -hand man. His right -hand hit man. It killed like 300 people for him.

[471] named John Heidel of Velazquez Vazquez.

[472] And it follows him from like the day they got Escobar and this guy turned himself in.

[473] And it shows him in prison and how he just ended up starting another cartel from within prison.

[474] It's a fascinating series.

[475] Yeah, that's it.

[476] And this is a new Netflix special?

[477] I think what happened was that I feel like it was a, it seems like it was a Colombian series that they acquired is what it seems like.

[478] I'm not sure.

[479] But it's really good.

[480] I mean, it's all in Spanish with subtitles, but that's the real guy in that picture right there.

[481] Is that guy still alive?

[482] Yeah, his nickname's Popeye.

[483] And he, yeah, he fucking murdered so many people.

[484] And they had such a dedication to their bosses.

[485] That's one of the things.

[486] They followed them like religious leaders, you know?

[487] Like if he's in an interview, Popeye, this guy, saying, if Pablo Escobar had told me to kill my dad I would have done it Whoa I wouldn't have hesitated either Like they have such devotion To the boss It's really wild His dad was a dick Maybe he was Yeah my dad was a big asshole So I'd of course I'd kill him There's that movie that's coming out now About The lady from Cocaine Cowboys The fuck is her name Aricelda Blanco Gerselda yeah With Jennifer Lopez.

[488] No, it's Catherine Zeta Jones.

[489] Oh, that's right.

[490] And she actually, they made her, like, not as hot.

[491] Really?

[492] Yeah, I mean, she looks...

[493] Well, she's like 80 now.

[494] No, she's not.

[495] She's 150 years old.

[496] She weighs 650 like Bert.

[497] Yeah.

[498] You know, we took pictures, a picture before we went to the game together, posed together.

[499] Right.

[500] I have a T -shirt on.

[501] Bert has, like, a hoodie like this with pockets, and then a jersey.

[502] is he over it so it just looks so much everybody everybody was like Jesus Christberg did you put on 400 pounds that picture because he he has like six layers on right photo it was all they were all you look pretty slim there though you do look slim already got fat for a while did he yeah yeah already got into serious candy addiction oh quite a bit which is fucking terrible for you that sugar fat just getting fat from nothing but sugar yeah but he just decided to Cut it out.

[503] So it was the weight.

[504] Yeah, he looked good.

[505] He looked good.

[506] That was a long time ago, though.

[507] But the way he did, it was pretty interesting.

[508] He just said, eh, I don't want to be fat anymore.

[509] That's a good way to do it.

[510] Didn't join Weight Watchers, didn't do anything.

[511] He's a body that responds to that pretty well, too, though, you know?

[512] Like, I feel like there's definitely different body types, and he's the kind that could probably make a slight adjustment and see things sway.

[513] Well, I guarantee with Byrd, it's booze.

[514] If Bert just cut off the booze, I mean, he would lose a massive amount of weight.

[515] He goes so hard He goes so hard It's bizarre Yeah No he goes hard man To the point where I was really stunned That he made it through Sober October I was stunned I think he really responds to challenges He likes He likes the challenge He likes he likes the challenge You know We always joke how he speaks in hyperbole And he's always just like Yeah If you go like I bet you can do He's like definitely fucking do that It's always immediate It's without consideration Of it He's like I can definitely fucking do that Yeah Now Ari said when we were hanging this weekend, because Bird's like, I'm definitely doing the L .A. Marathon in, I think it's in April.

[516] And Ari's like, if you do that, I will show up in roller skates.

[517] I will fucking kill you.

[518] And Bird's like, there's no way.

[519] There's just no way.

[520] And we were like, what are you talking about?

[521] Like you can casually roller skate a five -minute mile.

[522] Yeah.

[523] Casually.

[524] Not even booking.

[525] No sweating.

[526] No. He's like, after 10 miles.

[527] And your feet will hurt.

[528] And I'm like, so just push through it.

[529] Like, why, why do you think you can push through something and somebody else can't?

[530] We'll just fucking push through it.

[531] We'll beat you.

[532] I was like, I'll go take a nap and get back and then still beat you.

[533] He's like, no, I'll definitely, definitely beat you.

[534] Well, he ran a half marathon.

[535] He did, and he did surprisingly well.

[536] I didn't think he would do that.

[537] How long did it take him to run a half marathon?

[538] I want to say, it was like in the 240, something like that, right?

[539] Something like that.

[540] Maybe 235, 2 .45, something that right.

[541] So was that?

[542] Is that a clean split?

[543] Like, can you say, oh, that means you would do a five -hour marathon?

[544] Not necessarily, no. Yeah.

[545] You'd be slower.

[546] You'd be slower.

[547] Yeah.

[548] That's second half.

[549] And everyone that I've talked to said, especially that last stretch, like those last five miles are supposed to be the most taxing, you know.

[550] Yeah, me, my friend Cam Haynes is running a marathon a day.

[551] It's really, really crazy.

[552] Really crazy what he does.

[553] Fucking psychopath.

[554] I know, and you watch him, you know, I pull up his Instagram, and I'm like, just fucking positive, man. Just do it.

[555] He's getting up every morning before work.

[556] He has a regular job.

[557] He's running fucking miles and miles at six in the morning.

[558] And I heard it was say the only thing that made him seem human was him talking about there was a time when he said it was hard to run a mile or something.

[559] Yeah.

[560] He was like, yeah, I remember when it was hard to run a mile.

[561] I'm like, seriously, you had trouble running a mile?

[562] Yeah, when he first started running.

[563] Like everybody else.

[564] Running's a weird thing, man. They've been doing it a lot more.

[565] Yeah.

[566] But when I do it now, too, I'm kind of amazed.

[567] I think back at where it used to be difficult and it's not difficult there anymore.

[568] I'm like, well, how come it's not, it's almost like your brain's like, well, what happened?

[569] Like, what changed?

[570] Yeah.

[571] How come I can just run up this section now and hustle through here and push through around this corner and get up to that ridge and go over the top and then to the next top and that's where I stop now?

[572] Yeah.

[573] Like, why did I get so much further?

[574] Yeah.

[575] Your body doesn't, it's almost like your brain doesn't want to believe that your body can get in better shape.

[576] Right.

[577] Like, you know you can.

[578] You know, like when I work out and have worked out for a long time and I'm fit and I'll do like rounds in the bag or something like that I'll know I'm not getting as tired as I used to be but I don't want to believe it right that is weird why your body is like your brain is it's like trying to keep you from progressing in a way I don't know it's like your brain has memories of the times where you were getting tired doing stuff that you're not getting tired anymore you're confused what's happening here I've been doing I hired a trainer and part of our workouts has been bike sprints like stationary bike sprints fuck man do you get an air dine sprint or do you do just like a regular bike sprint I mean it's a stationary bike right so I don't know what type of bike it is but it's like it'll be like a max out 30 second sprint and recovery I've never felt as close to dying as like how it's like I mean especially on like the third sprint it's like you know lungs heart quads are it's just like I have a whole new respect just for cyclists, just doing those fucking stupid sprints I do.

[579] It's just, it's so taxing, you know.

[580] Where'd you get this guy?

[581] I found him, just searching, and I met him, and then I started doing work.

[582] He's just been giving me, like, one -on -one, and I've been doing, just mixing it up.

[583] So, like, we'll have, like, strength days, where it's, like, power days, you know, like higher weight, lower reps, and then he'll throw in core stuff, and then we'll do high -rep days.

[584] So I like the mixing it up.

[585] I get bored, you know.

[586] Of course.

[587] It's been fun to, like, work out with somebody who, I mean, knows his shit and has been, like, super challenging.

[588] What's his name?

[589] You want to know his name?

[590] Just give me his first name.

[591] There's two dudes.

[592] Two different guys?

[593] Two different guys.

[594] You go to two different guys.

[595] You got two trainers.

[596] I got three, actually.

[597] Hashtag ballin.

[598] That's what I'm talking about.

[599] How are your kids going to relate to you?

[600] Man, the can't, man. Daddy had three trainers.

[601] Of course Daddy's got a six -pack.

[602] He had three trainers.

[603] I got Micah, Sean, and Kelly.

[604] So how do you mix it up?

[605] Why do you go to three different people?

[606] Because you can, bitch.

[607] Yeah, just to make it challenging and different.

[608] Yeah, just to do different shit.

[609] Really?

[610] That's the truth.

[611] Really?

[612] Yeah.

[613] Just to do different shit.

[614] Because I know that I'm going to get something different out of them on different days.

[615] And how many times a week are you working out now?

[616] If you've got three different trainers, you must be hitting them at least once a week, each guy.

[617] I'm doing like three or four days a week.

[618] Yeah.

[619] Tommy Buns getting it shape.

[620] Mm -hmm.

[621] I'm super strong, man. Yeah.

[622] I don't know why.

[623] But it just happens.

[624] Probably because your family.

[625] Yeah, probably.

[626] Do you recognize me?

[627] Do you guys want a picture?

[628] He goes one picture?

[629] He goes to my picture?

[630] Let's take our shirts off.

[631] Some girl goes, oh, my friend that works here at this bar is a big fan of yours to Burt.

[632] Will you sign the back of this to her?

[633] He was like, how about a video?

[634] Oh.

[635] And then she goes, okay, takes his shirt off in a black cigar bar in Atlanta.

[636] And, like, everybody, yes.

[637] And then he takes the camera, and he goes, like, up his stomach.

[638] He's like, hey, who are it?

[639] But, of course, she was like, that's fucking awesome.

[640] That's amazing.

[641] Yeah, of course.

[642] She lost her mind.

[643] Of course.

[644] And if you were the girl.

[645] Oh, this is him and, oh, yeah, I saw this.

[646] Like, what happened here?

[647] Dude, he just, he's, we're buying booze.

[648] But everybody was dancing.

[649] It wasn't just him.

[650] He got the vibe going, man. I'm telling him, this is his natural element.

[651] He's also about 19 drinks in.

[652] 19?

[653] Literally?

[654] Yeah.

[655] Boy, he looks hammered.

[656] I mean, that whole store was dancing with him.

[657] Wow.

[658] People walked in and knew him.

[659] Ari's drunk, too.

[660] Look at Ari dancing.

[661] He dances like the whitest fish fan ever.

[662] That's so true.

[663] It's like jumping up and down with his legs together.

[664] These guys knew him.

[665] yeah it was he was in his he was in heaven man boy what a what a weird life that burr crusher lives he really is the party guy oh yeah he's the machine I think for a while I was like that's your act like I'm your friend but that's your act and then I hung you know enough hanging out you're like that's really who you are man you're really the party guy he enjoys it yeah but it's so rough on your body I don't know he pushes through man it's amazing he gets up the next day and he's like I'm really feeling it but you're like you don't notice right you know you know what I did when we went out to breakfast on um what was it Monday I think it was Monday yeah we went to breakfast the day of the game and uh my friend Justin lives in Atlanta comes over picks us up and he's like oh I'm first like I'm feeling it this morning we sit down at this breakfast place coffees and we order breakfast and he orders eggs and like you know toast and bacon or something and then he's like all right and then as the waitress walks back I go oh oh oh could you send him a waffle also like in front of him you know and he's like what and I go you like waffles and he's like yeah that's true so she's like this massive waffle he's like this was a really good decision thanks man totally tearing it up scarfing yeah yeah I know he wants to do another challenge he was talking about doing something he keeps bringing things up and like he makes these videos.

[666] Ari threw one at us.

[667] Yeah?

[668] Which I think actually would probably, again, it's something that would benefit him the most, but other people would get benefits from it too, was to go phone free, social media free, for a month.

[669] Oh, that's ARI.

[670] Ari does that all the time.

[671] That's not fair.

[672] That's like me asking you guys to do Jiu -Jitsu.

[673] Yeah, no. But I think, like, I respected the challenge in terms of like, yeah, I do look at that shit too much.

[674] I do, you know, it takes too much of your focus away, which, like, all right talked about.

[675] And then, of course, Bert was like, easy.

[676] I'm like, it's not easy for you.

[677] You're on it.

[678] He brings his charger with him when we went out.

[679] I was like, why?

[680] He's like, case my battery runs out.

[681] I'm like, you have 70 %?

[682] How are we going to run out?

[683] He uses it a lot.

[684] He's always on it.

[685] So I was like, that's actually a good challenge for you because you are consumed with it.

[686] But he was like, I don't know, he was pretty hesitant to accept that way.

[687] The problem with that is it's a tool for work.

[688] That's the point.

[689] But Ari's thing was like, well, you could have your assistant, the guy that helps produce your podcast, you could send him things and be like, hey, you've got to post these things.

[690] You could post these promotions for my shows and blah, blah, blah, blah, but you can't be on there consumed by likes and consumed by comments and that whole thing.

[691] I don't know.

[692] It was just, it was.

[693] It's not a bad idea.

[694] It's not a bad idea.

[695] It's not a bad challenge.

[696] Good luck with it.

[697] I'm out.

[698] Yeah.

[699] I don't know.

[700] I mean, I think the physical stuff is really, really interesting and fun.

[701] The physical stuff's the most interesting.

[702] Even, like, even for me, a guy who does yoga on a regular basis, doing 15 of them in a month, it was like, wow, I got a lot to make up.

[703] Well, it would be another good one.

[704] I don't know, but let me tell you something, that last nine days, I did nine days straight, you know, of yoga.

[705] And it wasn't the last nine days.

[706] I had plenty of time to go, but I just decided to burn it all out in one shot.

[707] I was like, I'm learning a lot about myself.

[708] Like, I've never done anything that's that hard, 90 -minute hot yoga classes nine days in a row.

[709] with no days off.

[710] I was like, if you just don't give yourself a day off, your body starts to adapt to not having a day off.

[711] You can accomplish way more than you think you can.

[712] That's what that shit taught me. You ever have like those, I remember being on the road once and having a deadline for a writing packet.

[713] It was some type of submission, or they were like, or I was getting paid.

[714] You're like, well, you've got to send it in by this, by like, tomorrow.

[715] Yeah.

[716] And I was doing so much writing in the hotel room and that when I submitted it and everything was fine, I was like, man, I could get a lot of work done in these hotel rooms.

[717] But I needed that experience to tell me that.

[718] Yeah.

[719] Because all the time, I'm like, you're just sitting around these fucking hotel rooms.

[720] Right.

[721] You're just watching TV, flippered through the channels.

[722] Yeah, not doing shit.

[723] Watching those fucking pawn shop shows.

[724] Yeah.

[725] And you're like, I just wrote fucking 20 pages.

[726] Yeah.

[727] Yeah, if you just make yourself do it or you have, like, for me, I have to have a little, I don't have to, but one thing that does help is when I have a schedule of shit that I wrote down, Like, I have to work on my act for an hour a day for five days.

[728] You put that in there, yeah.

[729] Like, that's, I give my, I, I, I think that's really reasonable.

[730] I give myself five hours of writing a week.

[731] That's totally reasonable.

[732] It's a light work.

[733] I've been working on it more since I know my special, my special comes out tomorrow.

[734] Oh, shit, Tommy Buns, Netflix special number three in the pipe, bitch.

[735] Yeah, dog.

[736] Yeah, I'm excited.

[737] Hot and fresh, coming out to oven.

[738] I'm excited for it, but I also have that new special anxiety.

[739] Of course.

[740] Where you're like, oh, it's back to square one.

[741] But that's where the material comes from, right?

[742] Totally.

[743] Yeah, of course.

[744] And I actually, I personally, I don't know if everyone works this way, I definitely work better when it's 100 % out.

[745] In other words, not like the month, like, you know it's coming out in two months.

[746] When it's actually out, I feel the fear and the drive more.

[747] I create more when I know it's all, it's gone now.

[748] Yeah.

[749] It really fuels me. Me too.

[750] Same thing, but it's the scariest fucking thing in the world.

[751] It's terrifying.

[752] Yeah.

[753] Not the scariest thing in the world.

[754] It's scary because you're so terrified of being up on stage with what I call without weapons.

[755] Yeah.

[756] Yeah.

[757] So you have to like really focus on getting that shit done.

[758] Yeah.

[759] And then I find myself going to the store with notebooks.

[760] I'm going over the shit before I'm going on stage.

[761] You're just really tightened in.

[762] Yeah, I'm doing a couple spots tonight.

[763] I'm just like, yeah, I have like all new shit.

[764] You have one hour.

[765] Yeah.

[766] You know, I mean, you literally have like one day.

[767] Yeah.

[768] And then in one day.

[769] Yeah.

[770] Better have all new shit.

[771] Tonight you can go up and just whip out some polished, smooth, fucking sharpened weapons.

[772] Well, I actually thought about it.

[773] And it's like, you know, I've been.

[774] I have been for the last, especially month or so, really focused on the new stuff.

[775] And I go, so tonight's the last night, do I feel like doing, like, well, I, do I want to say that thing one last time?

[776] And I was looking over, like, the bits, and I was like, not really.

[777] I think I'm done, you know?

[778] Yeah.

[779] So I'm trying to focus on just all new now.

[780] Well, we're being forced into this position for a good thing because you have fans, because the fans want to hear new stuff.

[781] and it just makes me think about that I always used to pity those old guys back in Boston that never wrote that they had that same hour that they would do for a decade.

[782] That's so nuts to me. It's crazy to think about now because back then there was no social media and none of these guys got on television.

[783] So if you didn't go to see them live you did not know their material.

[784] Yeah.

[785] Yeah.

[786] That's really wild.

[787] It's crazy to think that that was the norm and that guys would polish an act together and put it together and then they would just work and they would never write and i fucking never right i feel like the norm now without question i feel like it was kind of debated for a little bit is definitely when a special comes out like that shit is gone yeah i think that's accepted now that like you're done with that totally well i had a conversation with someone at the store uh a year ago because she did a special and then after the special she was still doing the same material i go what are you doing i go she goes well i don't think most of the people see I go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[788] I go, I guarantee you if they're coming to see you, they're paying to see you, they've seen your work.

[789] Yeah.

[790] Like, she's like, why don't I'm in New Interior?

[791] Well, why the fuck are you touring?

[792] Yeah.

[793] Like, you can't be touring.

[794] No. With the same exact act that was on Comedy Central just six months ago.

[795] You can't.

[796] No. Yeah.

[797] No. Especially people are paying, you know, they, it is weird in that you will, I ran into it a bunch of times, but it's definitely the minority.

[798] which is the person who's like, why didn't you do that one bit?

[799] Right.

[800] And you're like, because you know it.

[801] Go watch that on Netflix.

[802] I think I, I don't know how I had told you, but I did one, people were asking me to do some bits when I was touring.

[803] I think it was not 2017, 2016, they were like, do, are you going to do this bit and that bit?

[804] So I just doing one show at a club.

[805] I was like, I'm going to try this thing out, this encore thing.

[806] So I did my new show.

[807] and then I said some people asked me to do some bits that you know or whatever I forgot how I got into it and I got this huge round of applause and then I would start it and there would be like a big big applause I would go through the bit to complete silence like they would just watch me do the bit they know and then when I would end it another round of applause I was like that was horrible that was the worst feeling ever and the reason because there's no laugh because there was no surprise.

[808] They knew it.

[809] Yeah, of course, they knew the whole thing.

[810] And I did, like, the next bit.

[811] I was like, you might, you know, whatever, know this one.

[812] And it was the same thing.

[813] They're like, oh, yeah, we do know this one.

[814] And then I go through it, and they were like, yeah, I know.

[815] Oh, that's the worst.

[816] That was horrible.

[817] That was my one attempt at doing that, you know.

[818] Yeah, I don't even know how to do them.

[819] Yeah, no, it was.

[820] And then people were like, I was like, I forget the next line.

[821] They're like, it's this.

[822] Like, people knew the bit better than I did.

[823] Yeah, somebody asked.

[824] me something about the bit about people breaking into the White House, about the woman who was guarding the front door of the White House by herself.

[825] That's on your last one, right?

[826] And I had to go back and watch it again.

[827] I was like, oh, I forgot all this.

[828] I literally forgot how it worked.

[829] I forgot all the different beats.

[830] And it's not and like in a day, it's not going to come together well.

[831] No. It's going to be terrible.

[832] I did a private event in Vegas for these rich guys.

[833] And And I was like, just, I flew in, and I was talking to them, like, five hours before the show.

[834] And I was like, just so you know, I mean, like, I'm doing my current show.

[835] And they're like, oh, we were hoping you would do this, this, this, this, and this, though.

[836] And I was like, all right.

[837] So I went up to my hotel room, pulled up Netflix, and started watching and making notes.

[838] And then I downloaded the album so I could listen to it and I would walk around.

[839] And I was like, and I was like forgetting the thing that you think is a throwaway is actually.

[840] like a connector for the thing you're like fuck and I was doing like half -ass versions of it at the show wow and they were still like on board with it but I was like that's not how that goes I knew I was fucking it up how many specials do you have out now you have thrilled which was a CD and then white girls white girls CD CD and then two hours there yeah completely normal completely normal which is a special mostly stories a special and disgraceful comes out tomorrow So five hours of recorded shit.

[841] Yeah.

[842] Like stop and imagine that if you had to, like, do your whole catalog, like a Bruce Springsteen concert.

[843] Yeah.

[844] You know?

[845] I mean, the thing about, like, a Bruce Springsteen or any of those guys, is that on any given night, you could bring back that one and really get it sharp again for, like, five nights.

[846] Yeah.

[847] And then you kind of drop it and then do it.

[848] You know what I mean?

[849] Yeah.

[850] But we go, like, that's old.

[851] I don't do that.

[852] Yeah.

[853] And it just goes further and further away from your mind.

[854] But they have to.

[855] Like, if you go to see Bruce Springsteen and he doesn't play Born to Run, you're like, what the fuck kind of piece of shit show is this?

[856] I wonder.

[857] I wonder because I feel like the...

[858] Then again, though, he's famous for doing, like, four -hour shows.

[859] Yeah.

[860] So maybe he never does skip it because...

[861] How fucks that guy have so much energy?

[862] I know.

[863] I mean, he's on those Trump diet pills.

[864] He's got to be.

[865] He definitely looks tired in every photo.

[866] Of course.

[867] He's married.

[868] He's doing four -hour shows.

[869] He's always like...

[870] He just doesn't know.

[871] Should I just bail on all this?

[872] God.

[873] God.

[874] There's a...

[875] The inside story about Bruce Springsteen and his concerts is always to be...

[876] That people get bummed out when his wife is there.

[877] They like Bruce without his wife there better than they like Bruce with his wife there.

[878] Like a friend of mine...

[879] Like his energy changes?

[880] Yeah, yeah.

[881] Her friend is a crazy Bruce Springsteen fan.

[882] She goes to, like, tons and tons of concerts.

[883] She sees them every year.

[884] like multiple times a year all over the country and the people that are like super hardcore say there's a different energy that he has wow the wife's sick the wife's sick is she sick she's not here yes like they get fucking pumped when the wife's not there's hilarious because he sings with his wife right his wife's a part of the band right she was what the tambourine or something yeah that's important none of this shit works without that tambourine that tambourine this fucking shows bunk yeah I don't know, man. I just can't imagine touring and working.

[885] No. You know, with your wife all the time.

[886] My wife and I, we always talk about how, like, it's really unique we can do our podcast together and we have fun doing it.

[887] Yeah.

[888] But, like, when anyone, about it, she leads this.

[889] It's not like a guy.

[890] I think when someone will be like, hey, do you guys ever tour together?

[891] And she's like, that's gay as fuck.

[892] She's like, I don't know.

[893] We're two different people.

[894] We do our own show.

[895] Like, no. It's like not going to happen.

[896] Well, you guys are in a rare situation, too.

[897] we are both really good.

[898] It's usually one of you's really good, and the other one is like, yeah, not bad.

[899] No, yeah, she definitely...

[900] Not too bad.

[901] And she's, I can't wait, man. She's selling tickets, adding shows.

[902] She's bawling.

[903] Give me that money.

[904] Give me that money.

[905] Now you give me money.

[906] Now you give me money.

[907] You buy me shit.

[908] Yeah.

[909] No, I'm excited for her.

[910] I think she's one of the best comics in the country.

[911] She's awesome, man. She's killing it.

[912] Yeah.

[913] Christina Pizzitsky.

[914] Don't sleep on her.

[915] No, yeah.

[916] Yeah, I mean, I remember saying that to her one night, like four or five years ago at the store.

[917] She'd fucking crushed in the O -R.

[918] And I came up to her upset and we go, no bullshit, you're one of the best comics alive.

[919] That set that you just did right now.

[920] That's one that, like, it's not just funny, but it's insightful.

[921] She's smart.

[922] She points out shit that other people aren't pointing out.

[923] She's a real writer, too.

[924] Yeah.

[925] It writes a lot.

[926] How does she write?

[927] Does she sit in front of the computer?

[928] Pen and paper and then a computer and then a pen and paper.

[929] Yeah, a lot of notes, a lot of writing.

[930] A lot of actual, like you're talking about spending that time working on it, she's got a lot of time.

[931] You've got to do, you know, that's the difference between someone who produces a lot of material and someone who doesn't.

[932] Like, I've had these conversations with people before with like, oh, I only write on stage.

[933] I was like, all right.

[934] Yeah.

[935] Why?

[936] Is that because it's the only way it works, or is it because you're lazy and this is how you justify it?

[937] It's probably more of that.

[938] More of that.

[939] Yeah, for sure.

[940] Yeah.

[941] That I write on stage stuff.

[942] It's like, well, I do too.

[943] Yeah, I write on stage stuff, but don't, like, they give it out as, the thing that drives me crazy is I see them giving it out as advice to other young comments.

[944] Oh, right, like, don't write on paper, dude, just on stage.

[945] Yeah, I write on stage, man, that's what I do.

[946] Like, okay, right, but is that the only way and is it the best way?

[947] And isn't, isn't it possible that you're missing?

[948] I think what happened was, too, was like when Louie got, like, really, really popular, and he was just like, I never write anything down.

[949] that became like folklore and attractive to comics I feel like oh I gotta do that Is that what he said He never writes anything down?

[950] Yeah doesn't write Doesn't even write down Like bullet points Really?

[951] Yeah Just all on his head So then people are like Oh you know I think I think I heard I started to hear that more When his fame Really exploded And that was a big thing You know I was like not You don't even write shit down Like no Okay Well I guess if you're doing stand up every night three or four nights a week or three or four times a night like you're doing those new york sets and you're constantly working yeah it's like constantly in your head you can get away with that i would i guess you could but like i would i always like having um at least a bullet point list like even at like when i wasn't writing anything long form down i still like to have that oh what can i like just to see it all yeah like like how the you know how the how the how the movie plays out And I'd be like, well, I should move this over here and this should be over here.

[952] I couldn't imagine not having any of that written down.

[953] But I just think that the more time you spend focusing on it, whether it's the more time you spend just writing stuff down or looking at bullet points or just the more intention you put on things.

[954] More attention, the more focus.

[955] Definitely, man. It's going to have, it's going to be better.

[956] You're going to know it better.

[957] It's like getting good at anything.

[958] Yeah.

[959] You know, you put a lot of time into it.

[960] It's going to happen for you.

[961] Yeah.

[962] Comedy writing, though, is one of the weirdest ones.

[963] because everybody does it a different way.

[964] You know, everybody's got their own weird sort of style, and no one can tell you exactly how to do.

[965] Like, you could never tell Theo Vaughn how to write a joke.

[966] Right, no. Especially him.

[967] His act's so odd.

[968] Yeah.

[969] You know?

[970] I know.

[971] And then you're, like, mispronounce things, but that's like, but it's, like, disguised so well.

[972] Yeah.

[973] You know, it's a shit like that where you just, like, how do you come up with that?

[974] Yeah.

[975] Was it an accident the first time?

[976] like that you know and then like i remember uh carlin he would write on uh no cards did he on stage with no cards and clubs and then kind of shuffle through them and be like that's shit and throw it on the ground and then uh i saw him and i saw him one of his last tours that universal amphitheater and he for like his last because he called him like individual pieces like his bits were it was really heavily about the writing you know like the specific wordplay the flow you know rhythm patterns his comedy was very melodic like that and when it got like when it was like one of its closing pieces it was like five pages he brought out the pages and he's like I'm going to read this because that's how I memorize it he's like I memorize it by doing these shows and reading this so just so you know for this thing I'm going to look at like he told the six thousand people that Wow.

[977] And then he would, you know, da -da -da -da, and then flip the page.

[978] And he's like, how was it?

[979] It was funny, man. It was great.

[980] It was like the second to last special.

[981] And I remember the, like, it was a really well -constructed piece of writing.

[982] It was a little, threw you off a little bit to have him be reading it, you know?

[983] But he, I would say when he, when I saw the show, that piece was probably at least half committed to memory.

[984] And he was still trying to like, you know, repeat, repeat, repeat.

[985] so that it would be in his memory.

[986] But it was still really funny.

[987] It was still really funny.

[988] Well, he was also, how old was he?

[989] Probably 6, 970.

[990] I think he died at 70s.

[991] Did he?

[992] Yeah.

[993] He looked older because of, you know, he went hard in the paint too.

[994] Yeah, the drug used.

[995] Yeah, but he was 70.

[996] Well, he apparently had a pain pill problem for a while because I remember there was a time when he committed himself to rehab.

[997] and I think it was wine and pills he was taking pain pills those goddamn opiates man they get people they do they get you oh they get you yeah but you got to think that your memory must eventually at some point in time start to give out yeah and you're doing these long monologues oh my god yeah he'd do long long monologues yeah he would write out his whole act like the whole hour and then just start doing it Mm -hmm.

[998] Yeah, it's like...

[999] They do a new one every year.

[1000] It's like reading a book almost.

[1001] I think he said 16 months was his turnaround.

[1002] That what it was?

[1003] Yeah.

[1004] Yeah.

[1005] Every year.

[1006] He ended up doing 14, I think, specials?

[1007] That's crazy.

[1008] Yeah.

[1009] What are you up to now?

[1010] You have quite a few.

[1011] Like if you combine albums and specials?

[1012] One, two, three, four, five.

[1013] five, six, seven, I'm on my eighth.

[1014] It's a lot.

[1015] It's a lot.

[1016] You're going to catch them.

[1017] Number eight's coming up?

[1018] Yeah.

[1019] Do you know where you're shooting it yet?

[1020] Boston.

[1021] Are you doing it in Boston?

[1022] Yeah.

[1023] The Wolver?

[1024] Unless I just changed my mind.

[1025] Oh, sorry, Boston.

[1026] Would it be at the Wolver?

[1027] Yeah.

[1028] If I'm, if I, I have one other idea in mind that I'm still bouncing around in my head.

[1029] Do it at my house.

[1030] I'm thinking about that.

[1031] Really?

[1032] Yeah.

[1033] That'd be great.

[1034] And your kids room while he's sleeping.

[1035] That's awesome, man. That'd be a hit for sure.

[1036] What did you think of Chappelle's two specials?

[1037] I thought it was really interesting to see him do this big polished special in a big place and then do the little special in the belly room.

[1038] I was like, well, this is, the belly room felt weird, man. Well, I mean, personally, my take on it is like the second one, the belly room, we're in the practice of calling that a special, but it's really not a special, in my opinion.

[1039] What you're seeing is what here, at least definitely in Los Angeles, if you live in San Francisco, Denver, New York, places he likes to frequent, is what you see Dave Chappelle known for in these cities, which is he would drop into clubs and, like, spill out everything that's on his mind.

[1040] So, I mean, I don't know, if it's more like semantics, but it's like it's not a special.

[1041] To me, it's like you're seeing one of the best guys ever do a workout set, like do a loose riff.

[1042] It's only been six, seven weeks since the special was shot that plays before it.

[1043] Right.

[1044] When which he toured for like a year with that.

[1045] You can see how like polished and you know what I mean.

[1046] So I think it's really cool if you're a big stand -up nerd to see the other one.

[1047] Like that's what happens.

[1048] a lot in those cities that he he'll just fly into and be like yeah here's shit that's on my mind right and and that so you're seeing like it's it's it's masterful but I think it's like I don't call I think of it as separate than a special you know like because a special to me is like you tour you prepare and then like you present it right I mean I understand that you'd be like well yeah it's a separate thing it's a special but I'm saying that within that There's something really specific going on, which is like, this is like in the moment, almost all topical commentary, and like that's how that dude works.

[1049] He will walk into a club and be like, I want to get on stage and like just talk about, he loves topical stuff, so it fits perfectly.

[1050] But it was, it's very different.

[1051] I mean, you can see the total different, the contrast, especially if you watch one after, the other yeah you know you're watching toward proven like worked out stuff and like here's some shit i thought of basically in the last week right right right but a whole hour of it which is really crazy yeah he's so prolific yeah and um the the fact the way it worked was doing the two of them together that way you got to see the big polish special and then you got to see the fuck around workout set so it's like if you watch the big polish special you're like i need more yeah It's really interesting to see, I think, just to hear people go back and forth on which they liked more.

[1052] I thought that was really interesting.

[1053] I've seen a bunch of people, at least online, all say they like the belly room, you know?

[1054] Well, the belly room was so intimate to be in that room.

[1055] I was there for one of those shows.

[1056] It's so interesting to be there when you're watching someone film in front of 70 people.

[1057] Yeah.

[1058] It's so tight and small, you know?

[1059] You're kind of naked a little bit, you know?

[1060] Yeah.

[1061] And the people in the audience were, they were fucking on the show.

[1062] I mean, the people that got those front row seats, they were featured prominently in that Netflix special.

[1063] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[1064] Kind of makes you entertain the idea of like a really small special, what that would be like.

[1065] Yeah, there's different kinds of comedy, right?

[1066] The comedy that you do for 70 people is just not exactly the same as the comedy that you do for 700 or 7 ,000.

[1067] And the way you present it.

[1068] I mean, he was, he basically sat for most of that.

[1069] Yeah.

[1070] So that's, that's different, you know?

[1071] I mean, usually if you were in a big 2 ,500 cedar, you're not going to, like, chill, sit on a bench.

[1072] Unless you're Mark Marin.

[1073] Mark?

[1074] I think Mark Maren.

[1075] Or Cosby, old school Cosby.

[1076] Yeah.

[1077] Yeah, he was always sitting.

[1078] Even as he got old.

[1079] Yeah.

[1080] Cosby did it.

[1081] Not just old school Cosby, but old, old Cosby.

[1082] Yeah, old Cosby.

[1083] You're right.

[1084] Do you think Cosby will tour again?

[1085] No. No, I think that's done.

[1086] It's over?

[1087] Yeah.

[1088] Yeah, I think so.

[1089] Well, I remember when he was touring still, while the allegations.

[1090] Would not, I think it's not worth the trouble.

[1091] Really?

[1092] I think so.

[1093] Yeah.

[1094] I think Louis will tour again.

[1095] You think so?

[1096] Mm -hmm.

[1097] Yeah.

[1098] Yeah.

[1099] I think so, too.

[1100] Yeah.

[1101] Yeah, I think he'll take, like, a year off.

[1102] Yeah.

[1103] And then he'll do some shows, and people get mad.

[1104] And then it would be, yeah.

[1105] And then, like, if, you know, the real thing is, like, the corporate side of it, like, in other words, channel or network that would, went to, let's say, host show the special.

[1106] But he has such a dedicated...

[1107] No one's website following is, like, what he ended up developing.

[1108] Like, he sold shows and made millions, you know, when people were doing the, like, download my special thing.

[1109] Mm -hmm.

[1110] I think he could book a venue, shoot something, and go back to his $5 model and do really well.

[1111] No, I'm sure he could.

[1112] And people would be really interested to see it.

[1113] Of course.

[1114] But I think Netflix would have him on.

[1115] They still have his old stuff.

[1116] I watched his old stuff.

[1117] Yeah, I mean, yeah.

[1118] I was on a flight after, right after all of it went down, I watched the special from D .C., which I thought was really interesting to watch it knowing.

[1119] The D .C. one?

[1120] Is that the latest one?

[1121] Oh, okay.

[1122] The latest one, 2017.

[1123] But just to know that it was like right around the corner that he was going to get busted.

[1124] Yeah, yeah.

[1125] Beating off in front of people.

[1126] It's a weird thing to get caught doing, too.

[1127] Yeah.

[1128] So I got all the things that people have done that they got caught doing, all the rape accusations and all the horrible shit.

[1129] Like his is the most pathetic and also kind of the most innocuous.

[1130] Yeah.

[1131] It's just humiliating, just beating off in front of people.

[1132] I know.

[1133] It's like his kink.

[1134] It's what he likes.

[1135] But it could be way worse, you know, like what he actually did.

[1136] I'm not saying it's a good thing to do to people.

[1137] No, it's not.

[1138] Hey, watch me beat off.

[1139] Yeah.

[1140] But I know a bunch of people, he did it too, apparently laughed.

[1141] There's quite a few comics that I've talked to that know people that he did it to.

[1142] Yeah, I knew somebody they did, too.

[1143] Yeah.

[1144] And which you think?

[1145] Not happy.

[1146] But like, you know, I don't know, man. It was like, I knew it for a long time.

[1147] That story.

[1148] Yeah.

[1149] And I mean, I said it before.

[1150] I was like, I mean, I knew it.

[1151] And then, like, every other person I talked to in comedy.

[1152] it and we were all like that's fucked up but also I mean this doesn't excuse it at all either but there is something about something at least that as you know that something somebody did a while ago yeah so it's like what am I supposed to bring this shit up to him right you know like how do you know but the other thing is how do you even know that they did it because one of the things that happened during the whole like did he do it or did he not do it thing before it came out was someone had told me that it was bullshit and that what he had done is take some pictures with female comedians with his dick out just being silly and stupid and like and and then tell him please delete those pictures we're just having fun you know I don't want to get in trouble I mean the story I heard was very specific yeah and like you know it's basically one of the stories reported in the times and I was like I remember hearing that story and the person was not you know was pretty upset about it and and then a lot of people heard the story yeah and then I don't know you know another year would go by in two years and three years and you're like okay I mean that's bad but like as far as my role in it you know as somebody who knows the story now it was just one of those things where you'd be like yeah it's fucked up story you know I mean it's not someone that like hey you know that guy he fucking punched someone 15 years ago right right he's a real asshole and you're like that sucks you know but 15 years ago is a long time right I mean kind of it's like is there is there it's not to like minimize the wrongdoing but like isn't there some part of the conversation about how people mature and and become different people as they get older I'm sure a lot of people that are in their 50s and 60s you go like you know who are not celebrities you'd be like do you know that when this guy was 26 he did this fucking horrible stupid thing or something you're like Jesus but you're like well you know there's a long time ago now I mean that was kind of at least that part of the conversation exists in this right it's like it's a it's a It's something really bad.

[1153] I mean, he's being punished, so that's, we're not saying that it's, it definitely has not been excused because he's being punished.

[1154] But it's also old behavior.

[1155] Yeah, like that's the Dustin Hoffman thing.

[1156] Yeah.

[1157] You know, Dustin Hoffman, this is where it gets really strange.

[1158] A lot of his stuff was 30 years ago.

[1159] Right.

[1160] It's like, like, 1985 and shit.

[1161] It's like, so.

[1162] I think part of the difference, too, between the Hoffman stuff and Louis, and maybe everybody else is Louis's admission.

[1163] Right.

[1164] That's very different because even like the stuff I heard with Hoffman, he is like, he's definitely trying to justify versions and the behavior and like that's what people did, you know.

[1165] Is that what he said?

[1166] Oh, yeah.

[1167] He's like, you know, on the set, like, you try to like get, you know, you have to break the tension or there's there's a monotony to it.

[1168] And so people would have these conversations and say.

[1169] So it's like he's trying to, it appears he's trying to be less accountable for what he said.

[1170] Yeah.

[1171] Whereas Louie was like, these stories are true.

[1172] Right.

[1173] So it's, I think all those things end up affecting how your redemption goes because they're like, somebody's like, I did this shit, I was wrong.

[1174] Right.

[1175] And I think in this country, people love punishment.

[1176] Like, are you punished for the thing you did?

[1177] We hate like somebody getting away with something, right?

[1178] So part of him, I think, coming back will also be that people realize that he paid a price.

[1179] Right.

[1180] I mean, he lost deals, he lost shows, lost money.

[1181] Right.

[1182] He definitely lost a lot of fucking touring money.

[1183] Yeah.

[1184] That day is probably at least a $50 million day for him, you know, with everything together.

[1185] Isn't that crazy?

[1186] Yeah.

[1187] I mean, what a weird kink.

[1188] Jerk off in front of people, yeah.

[1189] I wonder how you develop it.

[1190] I mean, I guess I can imagine how you develop it.

[1191] Do you think that you could even do that?

[1192] Like, I was trying to think, could I even ask, hey, do you mind if I jerk off in front of you and then just get hard and actually like...

[1193] Well, that's the thing.

[1194] I imagine he had to be leaking right.

[1195] right like before that like to come that fast it had to be something he's thinking about like all day you know and like hanging out and then like hey do you want to hang out like do you want to come back or whatever my kind of come and like so as he's getting closer to doing it I'm sure it's it's it's it's the only fuel that's on his mind you know so it's like to ask me that I'd be like well that's not my kink so you're like hey could you go from fully flaccid to come in front of these people I'm like I don't think so man I don't think I could do that now kinks are fucking weird man kinks are weird you know like i had a friend and him and his girlfriend used to tie each other up they tie each other both up ball gags yeah the whole deal and he loved it he would talk about it with like great glee yeah and i'd be like why do you like tying each other up like what are you doing yeah ah it's fucking great like it's just something about like trusting that person to put that rope in your mouth and like i want to I wonder how much, how many of those kinks develop later, like you realize it later, as opposed to, like, the more common theory that everything's tied to childhood, so that, like, you must have been, you must have been tied up or something as a kid once, and then you somehow relate that to sex.

[1196] But I wonder if, like, you can be 28, be like, man, this tying thing is fucking awesome.

[1197] I guarantee you can.

[1198] If you just date one crazy person, like, if you have one girl who's just a wild animal on the sack She just wants to tie you up.

[1199] You're like, all right, let's do it.

[1200] And she doesn't, and you love it, and it's amazing.

[1201] We need answers.

[1202] Where's Jim Norton when you need that, man?

[1203] Oh, yeah, he would go deep with this.

[1204] He gets all sweaty and shit, and his eyes start bugging out.

[1205] Yeah, he's blinking.

[1206] Nobody embraces their kinks more than him, though.

[1207] Yeah, I fucking admire that so much about him.

[1208] Yeah, everything, whether it's trannies or anything that he's experienced.

[1209] Trans.

[1210] He says it.

[1211] He says trannies.

[1212] Oh, he does?

[1213] Yeah.

[1214] And he's definitely.

[1215] supports the industry so yeah the industry is that it's weird that you can't say tranny the tranny is somehow another negative yeah look these are noises that we make and now Chappelle was like that was the thing you know he like brought he got a lot shit on the old one mm -hmm or the one from a year ago yeah and so he he brought up the topic again but he said trans people yeah he was real specific on that part yeah I guess in the last one he's like fucking trannies man well There's certainly a lot of thought policing going on, and there's language policing.

[1216] Yeah.

[1217] And we have to wonder, like, how much of that affects the way people actually feel and how much, like, and how much of it is just people trying to control the way people communicate and dictating the languages.

[1218] Because, like, when you go to the far end of the spectrum, there's these new gender pronouns.

[1219] Yeah.

[1220] That there's literally...

[1221] Zims are...

[1222] Yeah, there's like 78 of them.

[1223] Yeah.

[1224] Which I think are utterly preposterous.

[1225] It's absurd.

[1226] It is absurd.

[1227] You just, you're make -believing.

[1228] You're have, you've make -believe language.

[1229] You're inventing all these new words.

[1230] And it's not like there's some universal agreement going on and everybody.

[1231] It's not like, remember when Ms. was the thing?

[1232] Yeah.

[1233] There was Mrs. and Mr. But then there was Miss. Mm -hmm.

[1234] And Mr. was married or Mr. was not married.

[1235] And women were like, well, what the fuck?

[1236] How come we don't have one of those?

[1237] Yeah.

[1238] So they came up with Ms. But it never really stuck.

[1239] No. Like, nobody uses Ms. No, it has to be like a real formal, you know, writing or something.

[1240] Even then.

[1241] Would you say Ms?

[1242] I guess they would.

[1243] Never.

[1244] In the writing, they might, you know, might write MS if it was like, I don't know, a piece of journalism or something to indicate the person's single status.

[1245] I never hear that.

[1246] Yeah, but you don't hear it spoken a lot.

[1247] No. No. But they were trying to push for it for a while.

[1248] Yeah.

[1249] And that was something that was like on the borderline of being accepted by the common vernacular.

[1250] Yeah.

[1251] It is.

[1252] I also wonder, like, how many people are just professionally upset at shit that's said wrong, you know?

[1253] Like, they're just, their reaction to everything is, like, it's like their job is to police and react.

[1254] Right.

[1255] You shouldn't fucking, no, no, no, no. That's not okay.

[1256] What about it?

[1257] It's like almost how academic.

[1258] exist today you see like the way that people are on campuses it's like fucking that is not a reflection of the real world no to consider everyone's feelings at all times why it's not how shit works no no people get upset and get offended at things that's fine but like that everyone should like dial back everything they say to make sure everyone feels protected that's not how it works what's been really interesting the last five days there's been a battle going on in my Twitter mentions that I haven't dived into at all.

[1259] Really?

[1260] But yeah but lesbians have been going at it with transgender people in my Twitter mentions and this is like long -going conversations.

[1261] They're going back and forth and remarkably civil but what's interesting is all these lesbians one of the things they've been saying I dive in every now and then I read some of it and going what the f this is crazy I've got to get out of here but that lesbians were trying to say that a lot of the violence that happens in supposed lesbian relationships is actually transgender men to women where they switched over and then they're beating up on their girlfriends and that they're bringing their masculine toxic violence into the world of lesbianism and they're not willing to be honest about it and there was all there's like this crazy debate going on back and forth this lady was citing statistics of how many um i wonder how accurate that is I don't know.

[1262] How many women in, well, she was a lesbian, and she was pretty, pretty, not that you're a fucking expert, 100 % on facts if you're a lesbian, but she was pretty adamant.

[1263] She was a lesbian who had her lesbian stats, like straight, yeah.

[1264] Well, the other thing she was saying, lesbians like women, and that she doesn't know any lesbians that want to date a transgender woman, like that used to, someone who used to be a man and is now a woman.

[1265] She was like, that's not what we're attracted to, we're attracted to actually women.

[1266] wouldn't that kind of negate the argument because they're like she's if if formerly male transgender women are beating up their lesbian girlfriends then there are lesbians out there that are dating and attracted to these transgender women yeah that would it doesn't get it muddy there right yeah yeah yeah so she's saying like we're not into that it's like well your stats then don't back up your argument because that's clearly what you're indicating you're saying that these transgender women that were formerly men are dating women yeah them up i think she was saying and people she knows oh so like her friends so like elizabeth and sarah aren't into it so that's supposed to it's like how else could you know i mean you'd have to have like a poll like how many you gals out there are into eating pussy like eating fake pussy yeah yeah that's a wild stat to consider i'd never thought of that yeah and there was this going back and forth with um lesbians versus uh transgender women and then they started getting some people started getting hostile like let's just cut the shit you have a Y chromosome you're a fucking man and then it was like whoa and then it's there was a lot of that going on there was a lot of you want us to assume and not just assume we want you want us to just go along with the idea that you absolutely are of the wrong gender and there's no way that you could just be crazy yeah there's no way you could actually have gender dysphoria.

[1267] There's no way you could actually have a mental illness.

[1268] It's impossible.

[1269] And that's one of the weird things about any group, right?

[1270] You're going to have a certain amount of people that are mentally insane.

[1271] They're mentally, they're going to, any group.

[1272] Any group.

[1273] If you have a thousand people, there's a certain percentage of those people that are just going to be insane.

[1274] Yeah.

[1275] But when it comes to gender, we're supposed to ignore that.

[1276] We're never supposed to think like, oh.

[1277] You're out of your mind.

[1278] No, you're out of your mind.

[1279] No, you're definitely a woman born in a man's body.

[1280] Dude, I tell you, I support all the trans rights and everyone doing all this stuff.

[1281] The only thing that I ever go, like, that doesn't seem right, is with athletics.

[1282] Oh, yeah.

[1283] That's the only thing where I feel like, it's not that I don't feel like someone should be able to play any sport and compete.

[1284] But, like, when a dude transitions to becoming a woman is like, I play basketball now.

[1285] It's like, come on, man. Yeah.

[1286] Like, I get it.

[1287] You have the right to live your life and play, but, like, you have all those skills that you developed as a man, and now you're playing against frailer, smaller, you know.

[1288] Yeah.

[1289] Like, that, to say that, like, you can't bring that up, that that's offensive, is ridiculous to me. Well, especially when it comes to fighting.

[1290] Fuck, yeah, man. That was the big one.

[1291] And that was where I really understood, like, how bizarre and how...

[1292] The defensive for that?

[1293] Yeah.

[1294] how cult -like this ideology is.

[1295] I'd like to see you transition to a woman and fight women.

[1296] It would be a lot of fun.

[1297] To have what, 12 murder charges?

[1298] That would be the fun part?

[1299] It doesn't make any sense.

[1300] No, of course not.

[1301] The bone structure is so different, and people that deny that are fucking crazy.

[1302] I know.

[1303] That is silly, man. It's different.

[1304] What if I transition, whatever, anyone, a man, and does power lifting?

[1305] Well, people have done that, and they're winning and breaking all these records.

[1306] Of course they are.

[1307] Yeah.

[1308] And why are we, like, why are we not stopping being like, that doesn't know.

[1309] That doesn't count.

[1310] Because we want to save people's feelings.

[1311] Silly.

[1312] What's really fascinating is in the process of being super progressive, you go towards the most maligned section of society, which is like transgender people.

[1313] And so everybody else who also has been marginalized by society, like women, women get put up.

[1314] on a, they get put in a less protected category than transgender women.

[1315] Right.

[1316] So a man becomes a more protected class of woman.

[1317] Yeah.

[1318] Than a natural born woman herself.

[1319] That's very interesting.

[1320] It's crazy.

[1321] That is.

[1322] It's very true also.

[1323] Yeah, it's crazy.

[1324] Because all these women that got beaten up by that man who became a woman, started fighting in MMA, fought two women before ever disclosing the fact that she used to be a man. Because she said it was a medical issue that had nothing to do with them, which is just shows you how completely insane the logic behind all this is.

[1325] Did she still fight?

[1326] She hasn't in a while.

[1327] But now everybody knows.

[1328] She lost to a woman who...

[1329] She did?

[1330] Yeah, an actual woman who wound up...

[1331] Yeah, I said actual.

[1332] Fuck off.

[1333] Yeah.

[1334] People are like, what did you say actual woman?

[1335] Did you say that's wild.

[1336] What did you say?

[1337] But that's wild, right?

[1338] Did a woman beat?

[1339] she's not good no she's not good she's not good fight her no she's just strong yeah like there's nothing you don't look at her and think like oh she fights like Chris Seiborg or she boxes like Cloressa Shields no she's not that unbelievably talented right she's physically way different yeah she's a fucking man yeah she's a man for 30 years had children this was when when I knew it was crazy I got in a conversation with someone and online with this woman was like she's always been a man I go even when she got another woman pregnant and had children with her and she goes yes even then she was a woman she was a woman she was a woman that fucked another woman and got her pregnant okay what just hang up what yeah what are we doing I know like this is so crazy you gotta tap out of those conversations even Bruce Jenner when he transitioned to Caitlin Jenner and then eventually got his surgery right or her surgery become she said even before the surgery though it didn't change anything I was always a hundred 100 % a woman.

[1340] Okay?

[1341] Then why get surgery?

[1342] Well, because you're thinking that gender is just with genitalia.

[1343] That's your mistake.

[1344] You personally.

[1345] And that's the mistake.

[1346] What is it?

[1347] Gender is not just genitals.

[1348] It's in your mind.

[1349] Right.

[1350] So it's also a facial reconstruction.

[1351] That's why you just said something fucking stupid and I just let you know how dumb that was.

[1352] So what is the difference?

[1353] Someone said that there's gender and then there's, There's biological sex, and that gender is the operating system, and biological sex is the hardware.

[1354] 100 % agree.

[1355] Yeah, it makes sense.

[1356] Outrage over transgender female weightlifter who destroyed her rivals by hoisting 19 kilograms more than the runner -up.

[1357] Now she's a contender for the Commonwealth Games.

[1358] Yeah.

[1359] Guess what?

[1360] Oh, my God.

[1361] Look at the size of her.

[1362] Fuck.

[1363] Laurel?

[1364] She's a goddamn gorilla.

[1365] So, made her international weightlifting debut in Melbourne.

[1366] It's about 40 pounds more than the second place.

[1367] Yeah.

[1368] What in the fucking holy hell?

[1369] Oh my God.

[1370] Look at the size of her.

[1371] Fuck.

[1372] Yeah.

[1373] And you imagine if you're a biological woman who's been training and working hard all her life?

[1374] Yeah.

[1375] And then all of a sudden you have to compete with this.

[1376] And you're like, I'm first place, bitch.

[1377] And she's giant.

[1378] Like, Look at the size of her head, her formerly male head.

[1379] Yeah.

[1380] That's a giant woman.

[1381] That's just a way to get medals.

[1382] Well, it's sandbagging.

[1383] Yeah.

[1384] That's what a lot of it is.

[1385] That's fucked up, man. That is what a lot of it is.

[1386] That's not fair.

[1387] And people don't want to admit that.

[1388] Sandbagging, if you don't know what it means, is like you would get that in martial arts tournaments.

[1389] Like, say you would have a tournament, and the tournament would be, like, for blue belts only, which is, like, one rank above white belt.

[1390] And then guys would be, like, a black belt in judo, and they would enter in.

[1391] to the Blue Belt Division and stomp everybody.

[1392] Right.

[1393] Because they're like, I don't have a belt in that.

[1394] Right.

[1395] But he's sandbagging.

[1396] Like, you know what they're doing.

[1397] Yeah.

[1398] And everybody knows what they're doing.

[1399] You see that shit.

[1400] And you see, there's a lot of that where people just want to win.

[1401] And the way they can win is by competing against people that are not on their same level.

[1402] Sure.

[1403] If you don't think that people do that when they switch over from being a man for 30 years and then competing as a woman and not tell them and just start smashing these women, if you don't think there's something in that.

[1404] You don't understand athletics.

[1405] You don't understand competition.

[1406] You don't understand sandbaggers.

[1407] And you don't understand the kind of people that wouldn't tell people about that in the first place.

[1408] Sure.

[1409] But they don't want to look at it that way.

[1410] Everything has to go through the filter of being progressive.

[1411] So you have to air on the side of being the most open -minded, the most liberal and the most progressive.

[1412] Which I'm 100 % for if women want to fight a transatlantic.

[1413] transgender woman.

[1414] If a woman wants to, I think you should be able to ride bulls.

[1415] I think you should be able to skydive.

[1416] I think you should be able to do fucking bungee jumping.

[1417] I think you should do a lot, you should be able to do a lot of ridiculous, crazy, dangerous shit.

[1418] You should be able to do flips with BMX bikes.

[1419] Why shouldn't you be able to fight a man?

[1420] Yeah.

[1421] Why shouldn't you be able to fight a transgender woman?

[1422] A woman who used to be a man. You should be able to.

[1423] If you're a man and you're 130 pounds you want to fight 130 pound 100 % man no no transgender no nothing if you want to do that you should be out to yeah you should be allowed to I don't advise it I think it's a terrible idea for you yeah you're gonna get pummeled well if it's a good fighter you want there's just what is this what's going on here bodybuilder what you're showing me jane the power lifting the article says this person can't decide to compete as a man or a woman and this is what they look like they can't decide whether to compete as a man or a woman that's what he used to look like on the left?

[1424] Yeah.

[1425] Fucking A, man. And then, oh my God, he was super jacked.

[1426] And now he is on the right.

[1427] Yeah.

[1428] And he's he...

[1429] But he looks like he's still a man. He says he hasn't transitioned yet.

[1430] Still lives his life as both.

[1431] He lives his life as both.

[1432] See, this is where you're seeing that there's some of these fucking people have mental illness.

[1433] There was an episode of Radio Lab where this one guy who's also a girl, switches back and forth and under pressure he changes like he's Paul or he's Cindy and this is what on what?

[1434] Radio Lab's a podcast but Radio Lab is so fucking left wing and I love them they're amazing but they're so left wing and so progressive that they are unwilling to note and even address the preposterous nature of this fucking person who's like I just switched now I'm Cindy right now now I'm back to Paul I'm back to Paul now in the conversation yes in the conversation Like I just turned over Like oh you did Oh you're this special creature That can just go back and forth And switch genders Or are you fucking crazy Paul slash Cindy Yeah We would never have violated Paige's wishes In this story It's an unfortunate understanding What do he pulled up This was their note When they had to change The whole story remember They had to go back Because they got mad That they misgendered them In the original podcast How did they misgender If she goes back and forth They have to keep up at the moment?

[1435] So they misgendered how?

[1436] Were they called her a him or him or her?

[1437] Which one's the misgendering?

[1438] So miscommunication was between the reporter and the actual person they were talking to.

[1439] Yeah, the person's fucking crazy.

[1440] You can't just go back and forth and back and forth.

[1441] Like, cut the shit.

[1442] You know, this whole thing is just preposterous.

[1443] The upcoming, they'll remove references to the name she no longer recognizes.

[1444] Does that mean that after Afterwards, she decided to go full female.

[1445] That's what happened.

[1446] Would you keep calling me Craig for, man?

[1447] So at one point in time, during the show, she switches.

[1448] Come on, man. I'm Paul now.

[1449] I'm Paul now.

[1450] Now I'm back to Cindy.

[1451] Cindy's light.

[1452] Cindy's happy.

[1453] Cindy's loose.

[1454] Cindy doesn't care.

[1455] Psychiatric help at this point.

[1456] At one point in time, here's a thing.

[1457] You're not allowed to say that when it comes to gender.

[1458] When it comes to anything else, if you're like, oh, I recognize it as a little.

[1459] a wood elf.

[1460] You know, that's how I, that's how I identify.

[1461] Yeah, I'm a sprite.

[1462] Yeah.

[1463] I should be in the forest flying around with the butterflies.

[1464] Like, people go, oh, you probably has an issue.

[1465] That guy's schizophrenic.

[1466] Yeah.

[1467] Yeah.

[1468] But if it's a guy who's built like Brock Lesnar, yeah.

[1469] Yeah.

[1470] Who's like, you know, I've always identified as Amanda.

[1471] A small, thin woman.

[1472] People are like, yeah, who dances.

[1473] Totally cool.

[1474] Yeah.

[1475] You should respect that.

[1476] Yeah, we should respect that.

[1477] When it comes to gender, gender is just weird thing that we allow all sorts of, you very illogical behavior like yeah like these 78 plus gender but by the way they're adding more there's more like there weren't enough there's more gender pronouns now than ever before but like if it's a guy at a bus stop who's like i am the president you don't go like oh we should respect the fuck out of that right now right you're just like he identifies as the leader of the free world we should address that no you're supposed to be like hey stand over here yeah when it comes to gender we're supposed to we give like a lot of leeway let a lot of things slide that's true yeah and i think it's for good reason i think the the good part of it is that we recognize that there are people that really do wish that they were a woman and would like you to call them a woman and why not let let the guy become a gal and maybe they'll be happier that way and and it shows i guess it shows acceptance and kindness on our part to just allow that to happen True.

[1478] But the problem with that is it's a goddamn slippery slope.

[1479] And a lot of this weirdness that's going on is people trying to control other people's behavior.

[1480] And one of the ways they try to do that is try to get you to use words that they've made up.

[1481] Yeah.

[1482] This is where you're seeing how preposterous it is.

[1483] The number of pronouns is also.

[1484] 78.

[1485] I mean, I understand somebody saying, like, I don't identify.

[1486] Like, I understand that concept.

[1487] It's not too hard to understand.

[1488] But where it's like, I also have free reign on a hundred words that you should possibly know to address me by.

[1489] Yeah.

[1490] It's like, what do you fucking, why are you bothering everybody?

[1491] Yeah.

[1492] Is that what you get off on?

[1493] When you become special that way.

[1494] Yeah, of course.

[1495] You get special rights, special privileges, special attention.

[1496] You get, it's just special consideration.

[1497] I remember, I'm trying to remember if my, yeah, on my, yeah, I've had on my profile on Twitter for a long time.

[1498] Like, if you read my first bio sentence, I'm a comedian.

[1499] Is this comedian Zim -Zer?

[1500] That's my pronouns, but nobody respects it.

[1501] Well, I didn't even know Z -M.

[1502] Yeah, Z -M is a big one.

[1503] I know Z -R, Z -H -E -R.

[1504] Or Z -E -R, yeah, Z -E -R, yeah.

[1505] Yeah.

[1506] Those are these motherfuckers.

[1507] There's just so, man. what does it say we were really feeling dog cunts what does it say there what does it say there in his tweet we're really feeling dog cunts and want to thank the people of australia for bringing it to our attention well then we saw this this clip or this guy if you hit view there he's like doing this video and we just heard him say i've never heard somebody say that he he uh can you play it or no i don't know he um dog cunts i like dog cunts i've never heard dog cunt i've never heard that before it's really good He drinks a beer.

[1508] He's like, dog cunts.

[1509] He's an Australian guy.

[1510] We're like, fucking A. And then all these Australian people were like, that's right.

[1511] That's one of the things we say here.

[1512] What does it mean?

[1513] I actually got really great explanations of it about how common it is there.

[1514] Let me see.

[1515] This guy wrote, well, first of a guy goes, no problem.

[1516] That is how we talk here.

[1517] A dog in Australia is like a dirty rat.

[1518] or an ugly person or a dishonest person we use it to put people down so it's like you know somebody you say dog a dog like is like a shitty person oh okay so it says someone wrote there's a lot of shit cunts here too I like shit cunt he said it's two insults because dog is a common insult and this guy is a total this guy is a total bogan which is like a white trash redneck The other guy said, if you say you fucking dog -cunt to the wrong type of Ozzie, you might get stabbed with a sharpened toothbrush multiple times.

[1519] And it said it's a snitch in bogan slang.

[1520] Oh.

[1521] So a dog -cunt is a snitch.

[1522] A dog -cunt is a snitch.

[1523] Yeah, so a mad cunt is a good bloke, a sick cunt, is like a professional BMX rider, a fat cunt is bert, and a dog cunt's a shitty person.

[1524] Oh.

[1525] If you see your mate, he ditches you for a girl on a night out, he's a fucking dog -cunt.

[1526] Oh Yeah If you see your mate Your buddy And he ditches you for a gal He's a fucking dog cut What's he supposed to do Like what if he can get laid I'm supposed to hang out with you man You guys had plans I don't fucking know At a certain point in time Yeah Like what if she's really hot Like that changes everything Kate Upton in their prime If she's super smoking hot banging out right now Then your friend's being a dog Kind of getting upset at you I think Interesting Kate Upton Interesting You know what's I don't know where I came up with her.

[1527] I'm having a hard time pulling hot chicks names for references on the fly.

[1528] I don't know why.

[1529] The other day I said Jennifer Beale from Flash Dance.

[1530] I was like, where?

[1531] Hey, man, that's a special place in your mind.

[1532] That's how it is.

[1533] I guess.

[1534] Yeah.

[1535] I think we all go to like an era.

[1536] I would do that too.

[1537] Like, fucking Kathy Ireland smoke show.

[1538] Oh.

[1539] Yeah.

[1540] She's like 80 now.

[1541] Yeah.

[1542] That's because there was a time when I was really stroking to her.

[1543] Were you?

[1544] Probably.

[1545] Yeah.

[1546] I mean, I'm sure.

[1547] When, like, that Sports Illustrated was coming out, I was probably like 13 or something.

[1548] So, yeah, that would have been prime time.

[1549] Wow.

[1550] That era?

[1551] It's like when you discover what a hot woman is.

[1552] When you discover what a hot woman is.

[1553] Oh, she's like someone's mom now.

[1554] Oh, definitely.

[1555] El McPherson?

[1556] That's what she used to look like.

[1557] Yeah, so that right there.

[1558] It's got to be so hard for those women to let that go.

[1559] Yeah, to be that hot and celebrated for it.

[1560] And now to be just like a regular guy.

[1561] A nice lady with pearls.

[1562] Nice gal.

[1563] someone's mom yeah yeah I think of the thing about the sI stuff when the swimsuit issue would come out is that they they were kind of household names and kind of not so you felt like you knew something by learning their name do you know what I mean because it wasn't a movie star a swimsuit model was like learning that name I'm talking about like as a teenager in a bizarre way you thought like you knew them better because you knew their name you know so I would be like oh Kathy Ireland in Elm McPherson, and then people would catch on, but you'd learn their names and feel like you knew something.

[1564] I don't know.

[1565] It's really weird.

[1566] Really?

[1567] Yeah, I think so.

[1568] You felt like you were better than people that didn't know their names?

[1569] I think at 12 and 13, definitely.

[1570] Was it like a sports thing?

[1571] Yes, it's like knowing stats.

[1572] Like that dude's 6 -9 -245, so you can really fucking move, man. You know, then you feel like you know more.

[1573] Yeah, that was always a thing, right?

[1574] When you were young to be able to pull out sports stats and players' names, to know the entire lineup.

[1575] It's really crazy.

[1576] I saw this thing, Artie Lang.

[1577] Do you know that he can name for like 40 years who played in World Series and like the two teams that played?

[1578] But I'm talking about you can be like 1958.

[1579] He's like that was Cardinals versus Mets game four.

[1580] This happened.

[1581] He knows like a span of 40 or 50 years by memory.

[1582] Wow.

[1583] Like that's some that's some really, really ridiculous stats to know.

[1584] Well, he's a fucking banana.

[1585] baseball fan yeah but this level of it is really i've never seen anything like that before why doesn't he do like sports radio then he did for a while didn't he was that thing that he did with nick de paolo wasn't that like a sports radio show i'm not sure i'm not sure i know what is he doing now he he checked himself into rehab right um i think so because he was doing the show with anthony yeah and then i think he checked himself into rehab i think so yeah which is good Yeah.

[1586] He just did that last, or the new season of crashing, the HBO show, Pete Holmes show.

[1587] Oh, he's one of the guests or one of the stars?

[1588] He's one of the, he's a cast member, I think.

[1589] Oh, is he?

[1590] I think so, because he was on it the first season and, yeah, he returned.

[1591] Poor guy.

[1592] He loves the drugs.

[1593] Yeah.

[1594] And the hard ones.

[1595] He's a true addict.

[1596] Yeah.

[1597] Like, you got to wonder.

[1598] He's so funny, though.

[1599] It's hilarious.

[1600] And that's, like I said, that sports knowledge he has is fucking crazy.

[1601] Do you have sports?

[1602] knowledge you have a lot of sports knowledge no I mean that I know some some random things right you know I know some things like I mean I basically like I said I like college football and so like I can I can hold a conversation with different levels of college football fans like I could I could talk to a super fan and hang with them in that conversation but I'm not like I can tell you every championship game for the last 20 no no right I remember people teams winning and stuff for sure but I don't I don't have a level that you'd be like dude what type of autism do you have like that is like so like savant level shit where it's like you're such an expert in one field you know like all these weird stats you retain I'm not like that yeah yeah there's you ever see Al Franken draw the United States like that no he's got this weird ability to draw every state like he well yeah all 50 states he draws the shape of them puts it together in the in he draws the united states by free hand really yeah that's very weird like his ability to do that like like this look at this this is before everybody knew he grabbed butts what allegedly that's already impressive just that yeah no he does the entire country completely freehand and it's an accurate map of the country how how is this possible well because he's a real patriot this is one of the things that's kind of of disturbing and sad about this whole Al Franken thing the worst they got out of him was that he may or may not have grabbed someone's butt when he took pictures with him I don't know if he did or he didn't but this is basically it incredible and he's resigning he's not going to be a senator no he's done and but they didn't get him on anything like completely horrible it was just like he may or may not have squaws in someone's butt?

[1603] A few people's butts.

[1604] How many?

[1605] Five?

[1606] It's a few butts.

[1607] A few butts?

[1608] A few butts?

[1609] Like five or six bucks?

[1610] That's really impressive, actually.

[1611] Yeah, it's very impressive.

[1612] And this is, yeah.

[1613] I mean, does California the whole deal.

[1614] Look, come on.

[1615] Oh, there's Alaska and Hawaii.

[1616] You do the states.

[1617] Come on.

[1618] That's a state fair.

[1619] That's where we'd grab butts.

[1620] He would grab butts at the state.

[1621] It's back there.

[1622] Yeah.

[1623] Well, he was all high on his performance.

[1624] Yeah.

[1625] He just was feeling, I'm the fucking king of the world.

[1626] I could see how it could happen.

[1627] I had my butt grabbed a bunch.

[1628] Taking pictures with women?

[1629] For sure.

[1630] After shows, yeah.

[1631] I've never grabbed.

[1632] I'm like, nah, that's just not.

[1633] I don't do it.

[1634] But I could see how people's butts would get grabbed.

[1635] Bill Burt was talking about on his podcast.

[1636] It's like this is a particular type of woman, in her 40s, drunk, a little loud, getting kind of crazy.

[1637] Yeah.

[1638] The one's going to grab your ass.

[1639] They'll say, like, can I, like, can I?

[1640] They'll say, can I pinch your nipple?

[1641] And they'll say something, and before you can even say no, they'll like...

[1642] Boom, they're going for it.

[1643] They'll go for it.

[1644] Yikes!

[1645] Yeah.

[1646] Yeah, there's some...

[1647] And they're always boozed up.

[1648] They're never, like...

[1649] Yeah.

[1650] That's always alcohol.

[1651] Yeah.

[1652] Yeah, alcohol is the catalyst for all shitty behavior and decision -making.

[1653] By the way, did you see that Born Strong, Doc?

[1654] You see that?

[1655] What's that?

[1656] Born Strong is this documentary about the world's strongest man competition?

[1657] No. It's really fucking interesting men.

[1658] Yeah?

[1659] These guys are...

[1660] such fucking like not normal species of human you know oh is like the iceland guys they're doing those power lifting competition and they do it like they go to the Arnold Classic every year oh these guys these guys are such fucking beasts man I mean it is like it it's not I mean this dude does an 1100 pound deadlift what yeah Eddie six foot two 400 pounds yeah So unhealthy for you to be that bad.

[1661] Well, that guy is interesting.

[1662] He was a national champion swimmer.

[1663] Wow.

[1664] Yeah, as a kid.

[1665] Like a thin guy?

[1666] Yes, lean and thin.

[1667] And he's competing against guys.

[1668] Most of the guys he competes against are like, that guy's the next smallest, basically.

[1669] All the other guys are like 6 -8, 6 -9, 4 -10, 4 -20, 4 -30.

[1670] and the swimmer guy has to eat like all day and they explain the physiology look at the size of that guy 6 -8 -427 I mean they're just Jesus Christ they're so crazy but this level of competition this is the guy from Game of Thrones right here he's a competitor too but it's like the physiology of eating that much to sustain the muscle eventually you have to put on the weight you need the fat and they explain how you know this guy's like his physique is like that he's just kind of put together that way but most of the guys have these big barrel bellies and a doctor explains how at a certain level of consumption these guys all basically get bellies you know like because people are like why they have to get fat and just as you think they start explaining it.

[1671] So when you're that big and you lift in that much weight, you have to be fat?

[1672] Yes, that's basically what the guy says.

[1673] Hmm.

[1674] But the Game of Thrones guy's not really that fat.

[1675] But I think it's for, but he's the one of the unique cases where he is actually like built to be a fucking Viking.

[1676] In other words, the other guys are eating so much to sustain themselves, be able to pick up and recover from all this crazy weight lifting.

[1677] he's a guy who is essentially born walking around 6 -8, 395 or whatever.

[1678] Yeah.

[1679] Like he's a unique freak.

[1680] The other guys have to eat crazy amounts of food.

[1681] I mean, they show what one of these guys, it would blow your mind.

[1682] He force feeds himself like nine times a day.

[1683] And he has to?

[1684] He said he has to, yeah.

[1685] And has he ever tried to not do it and see if he's less strong?

[1686] I think so, yeah.

[1687] Isn't that weird that force feeding yourself makes yourself stronger?

[1688] Yeah.

[1689] Yeah.

[1690] It really is interesting.

[1691] I mean...

[1692] Like, why?

[1693] Why do you get stronger if you're fatter?

[1694] Or do you need that much food to keep the muscles up?

[1695] And if you just eat that much food to keep the muscles up, there's going to be a certain amount of fat.

[1696] That's kind of...

[1697] Yeah, I think that's more of the way it goes.

[1698] Do they talk about steroids?

[1699] No, not really, no. Well, that's a bullshit documentary then.

[1700] I don't feel like they did.

[1701] This fucking guys, no one wants to admit it.

[1702] That's a weird thing about that world.

[1703] That's the swimmer guy.

[1704] Look at him in the wall.

[1705] Wow.

[1706] He was all lean.

[1707] Yeah.

[1708] gay porno eith yeah not that he was I'm just saying if you were gonna there was a film about a guy working out in the backyard and a bunch of guys showed up to suck his dick that would be the guy when you'd believe it you believe this is real life the fact that one of those guys could just become a woman and just enter into women's weightlifting competitions is so fucking preposterous and they would be respectful don't bring up the past she's a woman she's always been a woman god she beat the competition by an astounding six hundred pounds That's really crazy.

[1709] Yeah, beat the second runner up by 40 pounds.

[1710] No big deal.

[1711] It's normal.

[1712] Super normal.

[1713] That happens.

[1714] No, no. Everybody does it.

[1715] No. No. We're going to look back on these days, and it's going to be an astounding sort of observation on mass thinking, like group think.

[1716] Like what happens when people are scared of expressing themselves honestly?

[1717] and expressing controversial points of view because of the time and the culture.

[1718] Yeah.

[1719] Like what it, you know, what ramifications it has.

[1720] Like, by the way, here's what's weird.

[1721] I'm, and I don't know if it's good or bad, it's not a judgment call.

[1722] But I am, I know so many people whose children are now transgender.

[1723] A lot?

[1724] Yeah, like five or six.

[1725] Really?

[1726] I didn't know any before.

[1727] All right year?

[1728] All in California?

[1729] Yeah.

[1730] Well, one of them in Canada.

[1731] But yeah, really important.

[1732] what's this Toronto Furies Jessica Platt is a CWHL's first openly transgender player Now she used to be a woman And now's a man Used to be a man Now's a woman And she's playing women's hockey Okay Fuck that That's crazy I just gonna fuck people up Yeah it's hockey Guess who's an all -star this year It's Jessica Yeah Take that fucking mountain From the Game of Thrones Put him in a skirt Yeah See how many people He plows over Like goddamn human bowling ball.

[1733] Oh, my God.

[1734] That dude's so fucking strong.

[1735] It's just, if you're going to play sports, there should be, look, there are physical freaks that are women.

[1736] There's no doubt about that.

[1737] There's some women that are just physical freaks.

[1738] And there's some women that also take steroids.

[1739] That's another very controversial issue, because you have women that are ingesting large amounts of male hormones and changing their physiology, and then they also compete against women but then there's women or just women yeah what about them how about looking out for them how about not letting them get their head smashed in by a man it's just not fair man that's not it's not fair but it's also it's just it just shows you how silly people have gotten and about how weird we are about looking at things and that everyone is so and because they don't have they don't really have a personal stake in the game everyone is so concerned about being viewed as being incredibly progressive and open -minded.

[1740] Yeah.

[1741] That they don't want to criticize this.

[1742] It's a really interesting point because if you really put yourself in a competition you care about say like it's important to you to imagine yourself competing in something where it's important to you to win.

[1743] And they go but that we're going to have this person in and those are the circumstances.

[1744] You'd be the first one to be like, fuck that.

[1745] Yeah.

[1746] That is not fair.

[1747] And those women get called bigots.

[1748] Yeah.

[1749] It's really strange.

[1750] Yeah, that is very.

[1751] Those women get like attacked online like I guess a bunch of women that didn't want to fight that transgender man who became a woman in MMA and they got called bigots and transphobe and that and the transgender people that community is like super aggressive about defending that intellectual turf defending that idea see that's an interesting place is like where where you go because you have to have empathy for let's say this transgender person who's like I want to compete and you're like yeah you should be able to compete but how is.

[1752] how is this circumstance fair to both sides, you know, to those women that are ready to compete in this thing?

[1753] Part of the wanting to compete is also wanting attention.

[1754] Yeah.

[1755] And wanting everyone to know that you're a man who transitioned to a woman and that there's, look, there's a lot of energy in that.

[1756] There's a lot of people that are paying attention to that.

[1757] And anybody who says, no, that's preposterous.

[1758] People, they want their privacy when it comes to these matters and they're not, they don't want to be open to the ridicule.

[1759] bullshit bullshit they're they want attention 100 % it's why they're competing it's what they're doing it's why they're letting everybody know they're the first openly transgender woman it's a lot of this is about I mean some of it is about transgender rights it's about transparency and showing people how many of those folks are out there sure a lot of it's about horseshit yeah there's a lot of attention a lot of it I mean for you to sign up for that competition when you know what's what yeah well definitely attention getting especially things like power lifting, an MMA, like to deny that there's some sort of a difference in the male frame, there's also a lot of horseshit when it comes to what actually happens to the body during transition and how much strength you lose and how much bone mass you lose.

[1760] And there's a woman named Dr. Ramona Krutzik, I think that's her name, and they interviewed her.

[1761] And she's one of the very few people that's been interviewed about this as an actual endocrinologist that's not a gender transition doctor because that's what a lot of them are.

[1762] A lot of the people that talk about these things and have these discussions about these things that are hashtag experts they're actually transition doctors.

[1763] So they have a vested interest in sort of expressing the ideology that there's no physical advantage and that these women once they have been under these hormonal treatments for X amount of years they become physiologically a woman and there's no distinction between them and a biological woman.

[1764] But this one woman, Dr. Ramona Crutzig, she wrote an article for, I want to say it was either SB Nation or Bloody Elbow.

[1765] I forget what it was, but they interviewed her.

[1766] And she was saying, not only do you not lose bone density, but you maintain it because you're taking estrogen.

[1767] She's like, well, the idea is that like a man is more bone density, they're thicker, they're built different, and that you would lose a lot of that in your transition to being a woman.

[1768] But you don't lose the bone density because estrogen is actually what causes people to maintain their bone density when they're older, when they're women.

[1769] Like that's one of the things that happens to women when they get older, you get osteoporosis.

[1770] Yeah.

[1771] Part of the problem is that your body doesn't produce as much estrogen as it used to.

[1772] And so you have a lack of bone density.

[1773] One way to heighten that is to supplement with estrogen.

[1774] Yeah, interesting.

[1775] So it actually maintains bone density.

[1776] So it's a good argument.

[1777] Yeah.

[1778] But they're not the same as men because they don't have testosterone.

[1779] testosterone anymore and if they're not taking exogenous testosterone they're definitely going to have a disadvantage against men but they still would have an advantage against men about against women rather they're a mechanical advantage of course but that's also a mental advantage there's a reaction advantage um the reaction time is quicker with uh with men than it is with women like there's a bunch of weird 3d space recognition advantages that men have it's like and then there's the thing that people want to pretend that there's no difference between men and women there's that there's that group do you know about that group no but that seems like so stupid to even entertain the idea no that's this is a common thing among the most ridiculous of the progressives is that there's no biological difference in the sexes what what how could anything support that's so dumb but but it is dumb but it shows you how insane a lot of this thinking is is that this group think this mass progressive thought process that they just accept things that are totally irrational and they repeat them as ad nauseum.

[1780] Like we played this one clip where there's, it seems like it's a transgender man, a woman to man who's saying, she was talking, there was a Jordan Peterson debate and she was saying there's no biological difference between the sex and I'd be happy to unpack that for you.

[1781] Oh, really?

[1782] Like, oh, you'd be happy to unpack biology.

[1783] Sure.

[1784] And just, no difference at all?

[1785] In our biology?

[1786] No, it's not real.

[1787] Okay.

[1788] There's no biological basis in sex and gender.

[1789] What?

[1790] What did I say?

[1791] Is this an expert?

[1792] Are you a bigot?

[1793] Yes.

[1794] I'm sorry, you transphobic?

[1795] Are you a bigot?

[1796] Is this an expert?

[1797] No. But she's teaching at a college.

[1798] Oh, that's, yeah, that would follow.

[1799] But that's what a lot's going on.

[1800] There's a lot of that going on in colleges where people are teaching unbelievably ridiculous shit.

[1801] I got a piece.

[1802] Yeah.

[1803] Go for it.

[1804] Go for it.

[1805] Oh, my God.

[1806] Tommy Bunz.

[1807] done the three -hour podcast in a while doesn't have the kind of bladder for it we can go live too by the way we can go live we're back just go live now that's too late we'll go live with tyrant and he comes in earlier later um people are parking in front of our garage again fuckheads so young jamie um this game that Tommy Buns and Ari Sheffier and burr krecher went to this was a game that you were interested in as well I was watching it was actually a really really good game they were they took the side of Georgia who turned out to not be the victors but the final five minutes of the game was insane and you as non -football fan could probably watch it and enjoy it too really yeah now let me ask you this because this is what i was going to ask is there any other sport like football that has the kind of attention on the college level because does basketball have that kind of attention do people care as much about a championship game in march in march march madness oh that's what much marketed is marketed thing but not baseball baseball no no they do have a college world series but nobody gives a fuck about that summer when no one's paying attention hmm but that's it as far as in terms of other sports right i mean there's no other ones yeah i was just trying to think wrestling has got a little of attention but it's very small but in their world they sell out arenas and whatnot that's just not televised right but in wrestling it's really only other i mean it's like wrestling fans that are into it's not a national thing even then i'm pretty sure not every college has a wrestling team just like they almost all have a football team, almost all have a basketball team.

[1808] They don't all have wrestling teams.

[1809] Yeah, you know, one of the things that they were highlighting, I was reading this article about the coaches and about how the coaches were getting these large bonuses for victory, and they were saying how crazy it is that the kids that are playing aren't getting any money, but that these fucking coaches are making shit tons of money and that the university profits massively from these successful football programs, and yet these athletes who are damaging their brain, damaging their body, and then a large percentage of them are never even going to go on to a career in professional sports.

[1810] So I was just pulling this up.

[1811] This, I know, there's another pop -up, but this summer, I think it was right before the basketball season started, this scandal hit the world.

[1812] Rick Petino is, I think he might have been running the athletic program in some capacity.

[1813] I don't know if he was the AD, but he was definitely that he's like one of the top basketball coaches in the country.

[1814] And he was getting 98 % of the cash of this deal they had with Adidas.

[1815] Do you know about this deal?

[1816] No, that's so much money.

[1817] He raked in 98 % of the cash from the University of Louisville's current Adidas deal.

[1818] How is that possible?

[1819] It's hard to explain how it can even happen.

[1820] if you watch the movie Blue Chips from the 90s, they sort of almost tap into it, but that was 15 years even before this is happening, so there's a whole extra world going on.

[1821] Look what he said.

[1822] This is what's funny.

[1823] The reporter asked him if some of the proceeds would be shared with the university.

[1824] He says, in quotes, it's for the athletic department.

[1825] Junk reply.

[1826] How do you say his name?

[1827] Jurek.

[1828] Jurek replied.

[1829] It's for these student athletes.

[1830] It's been earmarked for them.

[1831] Ha!

[1832] In fact, under the current deal with Adidas, which expires July 1st, 98 % of the cash provided by Adidas goes to one person, Rick Petino, the now suspended head coach.

[1833] That's fucking crazy.

[1834] Look at the next sentence.

[1835] Oh, my God.

[1836] 2015, 2016, for example, 1 .5 million went to Petino under his personal services agreement with the apparel company while just $25 ,000 went to the program.

[1837] according to the contract obtained by the Courier Journal under the State's Public Records Act.

[1838] The year before, the department got $10 ,000.

[1839] And he got $1 .5 million.

[1840] That's incredible.

[1841] Why do they pay him so much?

[1842] How does it work?

[1843] He can recruit the kids to the school because he's got the name and whether or not he's got some sort of ability to sell them also.

[1844] I don't know that.

[1845] But he can bring them in because he's got almost a franchise of national championships or at least ability to be on national TV in that big of March Madness tournament I'm telling you about like he'll get your eyes on there which gets you with the NBA contract which is the old dream.

[1846] Wow.

[1847] They can sell that dream to them.

[1848] Those NBA deals are the best fucking deals in the world.

[1849] The guaranteed contracts to play and the shoe deals, those shoe deals are big.

[1850] Dude, the shoe deals for those guys, the NBA guys, for the top tier guys, which is, of course, a very select few.

[1851] But it's nine figures before.

[1852] or they ever play ball.

[1853] Like, they're signing, like, $100 million deals.

[1854] Jesus.

[1855] Before they play professional basketball.

[1856] That's crazy.

[1857] Yeah.

[1858] There's fucking amazing, outrageous amounts of money.

[1859] I mean...

[1860] We were talking about Under Armour, about how, what was the player that said nobody wants to play in Under Armour's?

[1861] And Kevin Durant said that.

[1862] And he sank the stock.

[1863] Like, by saying that, because universities have deals with sneaker companies, and that no one wanted to play for Maryland because they did want to play with Under Armour because they didn't want to wear Under Armour and everything just went and everything just went hilarious and they've been struggling ever since really?

[1864] Yes it's amazing to me the way Under Armour has been able to compete period like that is so outrageous that that's a former University of Maryland student athlete I think he was a student athlete and that he was able to start an apparel company athletic company and really actually compete with Adidas and Nike I mean that is so nuts it would be like you starting a fucking car tomorrow and then you're like yeah Porsche or BMW or a Joe car what you like it's fucking that's that's how nuts that is to break into that field really yeah it is man that they have that shit so locked down they have such deep pockets their levels of endorsements and like what he started doing the Under Armour guy wouldn't even pay like now they have paid endorsed athletes but at first people were just liking the gear he he was like one of the first ones that developed that you know that like tight fit breathe right like compression gear right and like he developed some of it and would like give it to like former like people he knew at University of Maryland that were now like in the they're like I like this shit and so does my boy you know throw us some more of that and it was like that it was like you know just kind of a very organic way of developing of like somebody it's like if you bake something and you're like oh that tastes good like you make me another one from me and my friends I was like that I was reading something really interesting where they were saying that they're fucking up the brand because they've put them into discount stores that they're trying to raise the sales and by raising the sales they put them in the discount stores and by putting them in the discount stores they're going to change the way people look at the brand it's not going to be worth as much that's probably very realistic man that's very interesting weird people think so weird.

[1865] Like, if you saw a pair of Nike's at a discount store, would you like, oh, fuck Nike.

[1866] I ain't wearing that.

[1867] Like, that means zero to me. Yeah, no. And they have, I mean, and Nike has outlet stores, which is, like, discount Nikes, you know.

[1868] So that's kind of weird.

[1869] But it is true about how, I mean, the other one is like that big baller brand.

[1870] They're basically attempting to compete in the apparel world.

[1871] That's LeVar Ball, right?

[1872] Yeah.

[1873] That's the guy that got in that crazy thing because his son was arrested.

[1874] in China for shoplifting.

[1875] Was it China?

[1876] He was in China, yeah.

[1877] He was shoplifting, and then Trump says he got him out.

[1878] Yeah.

[1879] And the dad says he didn't get him out.

[1880] Yeah, that's him, man. And then the dad is, you know, Trump's calling the dad a fool.

[1881] Yeah.

[1882] What happened?

[1883] Trump's, I mean, well, that guy's very brash.

[1884] Lavar Ball.

[1885] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1886] But, I mean, I think, you know, that guy knows what he's doing, man. As far as PR, definitely.

[1887] He knows he's going to say some wild shit, and he knows people are going to be like, oh my god what did he say and then he knows that that gets him more press and like it kind of just feeds itself right and people act like can you believe the fucking crazy shit that asshole just said and he's like yeah that's what I do and that's why you keep putting me on the show sort of like Trump when he was running for president it's the same school of thought and now though that guy so he has a son named Lonzo plays for the Lakers who's a first round draft pick like a top tier slayer from UCLA Then his other son, he was two more sons.

[1888] One of them was on UCLA's team this year, got arrested for shoplifting in China.

[1889] If he hadn't been released, if it wasn't highly publicized thing, he definitely could have gone to jail for a while in China.

[1890] They don't fuck around, you know.

[1891] Right.

[1892] So, but anyways, when he got out and he came back, LeVar pulled him from school, from UCLA and also pulled his 16 -year -old son at a high school and flew the them to Lithuania where they're now playing both of them are playing professional basketball in Lithuania and professional professional air quotes Jamie did the air quotes yeah that's got to be in big air quotes yeah for sure well I mean there's definitely some some good players that come out of there but it's like I mean it is a circus over there if you see like how it was when they arrived it was it's like some it's crazy the reception you know so what is he trying to do now he's trying to start some new league he's trying to do a couple things he started a brand big baller brand and you know that's like their ball and and came out with these shoes they're basically five hundred dollar retail sneakers and if you're like that's expensive he's like because you're not a big baller bitch that's why you know that's like but are they like made by a real organization well adidas no no no no they're not made by it definitely not and he and by the way the son that's in the NBA turned down real money like real fucking money because he was like Like, I, the, the father demanded that you basically pay to develop this brand from the big apparel of guys.

[1893] Like, give us like a billion dollar contract and like develop this brand.

[1894] What?

[1895] And they were like, no, we're not doing that.

[1896] And he's like, well, we're not even going to talk to you about endorsing my son.

[1897] What?

[1898] Seriously?

[1899] 100%.

[1900] Yes.

[1901] Then, now he's had like, there's so much conversation about the brand that he's definitely.

[1902] elevated like the awareness of it what we don't know what nobody knows is like to what level are they actually selling this apparel you know like are they because they have everything they have shirts and shoes they're getting they just got it rated an F by the better business that's right because their shoes are not the ones they sold they pre -sold a bunch of shoes and they're like the ones that people are getting are not what they bought so people are pissed there's no way to return refund or exchange them yeah and they're just telling people they're literally I think I read the customer service people told you, oh, you must be a broke baller then if you're not satisfied.

[1903] Yeah.

[1904] That's literally what you're saying.

[1905] Oh, my God.

[1906] But he's also, I mean, he's, so anyways, he's, he's, he's developed, he took these kids to Lithuania, they're going to play basketball.

[1907] He's like, he basically says they're going to be on the Lakers, and my three sons are going to be Lakers.

[1908] Right.

[1909] So, and we have no idea, really realistically, whether the two younger sons even have, we don't know, to be fair, whether they're going to be NBA quality players yet.

[1910] you know like clearly one is the one is on the lakers but so we don't know if that's going to pan out in any way shape or form he also talked about developing a league for like kids that are coming out of high school that don't want to go to college and play in a league where they get paid like a salary you know a reasonable salary which is an idea that a lot of people think is fascinating i don't know logistically whether he could pull that off you know that's kind of uh i go no for sure right i mean but but the idea is one that people have talked about for years because college athletes generate a lot of revenue they're getting fucked yeah college athletes are getting pimped out yeah 100 % especially in like football basketball well you were telling me what i was talking to jamie when you went to pee about the how big the game was that you went to see and i was saying is there what about baseball is baseball like no nobody gives a fuck about college baseball basketball is a little bit he said March Madness.

[1911] Definitely.

[1912] But those are the big school.

[1913] A college football, that's big time.

[1914] And it's worth billions of dollars.

[1915] Many billions.

[1916] Yeah.

[1917] Which is crazy that those kids aren't getting paid.

[1918] That doesn't make any fucking sense.

[1919] Well, I got a free scholarship, Joe.

[1920] I could go to school for free and learn.

[1921] Oh, great.

[1922] Get $25 ,000 a year's worth of free education.

[1923] Yeah.

[1924] Fuck you.

[1925] I tend to agree.

[1926] Is it matter, Jamie?

[1927] There's a couple kids.

[1928] Interesting story that came out earlier this year.

[1929] He's on one of the teams that did really good.

[1930] UFC, or UCF, I'm sorry.

[1931] UCF's kicker was a YouTuber as the season started and he got in trouble because he was making profit off of his likeness on YouTube so they took away his ability to do that.

[1932] Oh my God.

[1933] I think he left the team.

[1934] Oh my God.

[1935] You fucking monsters.

[1936] Like, you don't own people.

[1937] That's what drives me crazy.

[1938] It's like you don't own people.

[1939] They're providing a service that makes you an extraordinary amount of money and yet you're keeping all of it.

[1940] Like that patina thing, 1 .5 million, the school, I'll give him 10 grand.

[1941] Yeah.

[1942] I get school 10 grand.

[1943] That's a lot of the money.

[1944] That's a lot of money.

[1945] Oh, that's the argument.

[1946] I'll give you $10 ,000.

[1947] I know.

[1948] I think the thing about the people who really argue the free education thing and like how that should be of value is because they ain't worth a shit.

[1949] Like that's why they think that's awesome.

[1950] Yeah.

[1951] Like your skill level is not impressive.

[1952] Right.

[1953] And you don't generate millions of.

[1954] and billions of dollars.

[1955] So you go, it's fucking $100 ,000 worth of free education there.

[1956] It's like, yeah, but like I'm bringing $10 million to the table, bro.

[1957] That's the thing.

[1958] And here's the big thing.

[1959] How much damage are they getting in that four years?

[1960] How much damage are they doing to their body?

[1961] Oh, in football?

[1962] Yeah.

[1963] In high level Division I, FBS football, a lot of those dudes are playing.

[1964] I mean, they're playing basically with, you know, the next NFL players.

[1965] So, yeah, they're fucking each other.

[1966] other up.

[1967] They're fucking each other up.

[1968] And the odds of their body getting damaged to the point where they can never compete professionally are very hot.

[1969] Oh, definitely.

[1970] Yeah.

[1971] So if you think of like, there was a statistic about NBA or, excuse me, NFL players, like how many of them make it into the fourth year.

[1972] And it's very low.

[1973] Yeah, the not for Long League.

[1974] That's what they call it.

[1975] Yeah.

[1976] That's the nickname for the NFL.

[1977] Not for long.

[1978] Yeah, the average NFL career is like three point some season.

[1979] So yeah.

[1980] So think of that.

[1981] You're basically trying.

[1982] to do to outrun that through college yeah and then make it into the pros yeah that's why you really from a business perspective you really have to support guys coming out of college early to the NFL oh 100 percent i mean there's people who are like some people what about your education get the fuck i'll read a book yeah well i'm bawling bitch i'll go back go back with my free time man yeah go back you're still only gonna be 25 years old when your career's over that's fucking nuts i know there's millions on the table millions You're 22.

[1983] Come on.

[1984] Although, do you ever think about how poorly you would handle that?

[1985] I think about it now a lot.

[1986] If I had been 22 and someone was like, here's $10 million.

[1987] I'd be like, what?

[1988] I would definitely not have been like able to handle that well.

[1989] Yeah, I think about that hardcore.

[1990] I think about like what if I won the lottery when I was 20?

[1991] Go nuts.

[1992] You go nuts.

[1993] I got diamonds in my jacket, man. Check it out.

[1994] I got diamonds on my teethis.

[1995] My buttons are all diamonds.

[1996] I got diamonds on my dickhole.

[1997] Definitely.

[1998] Yeah, I think it's what we were talking about earlier about a guy being rich and having rich children.

[1999] Struggle is fucking very important for you.

[2000] Yeah.

[2001] It's very good for you.

[2002] It's very important for you.

[2003] It builds character.

[2004] It builds resolve.

[2005] Respect.

[2006] You know?

[2007] Yeah.

[2008] Respect money.

[2009] How many professional athletes who make millions of dollars work out as hard as my friend Cameron Haynes right think of that that fucking guy's a regular job dude works for the department of water and power in Oregon does he really yep nine to five regular job during his lunch hour he doesn't work nine to five he works like seven to four and one of the reasons why he's got an extra hour in there is because he runs during his lunch break so he takes like two hour lunches and runs for two fucking hours, runs the hills, and then comes back and finishes out the rest of the eight hours of the day.

[2010] I bet that dude feels good all day, though.

[2011] It's a savage.

[2012] Yeah.

[2013] He doesn't feel good.

[2014] He doesn't want to feel good.

[2015] He doesn't be sore.

[2016] You think he's in pain?

[2017] All the time.

[2018] Yeah.

[2019] But he's happy, I was saying, he's happy in pain.

[2020] I don't know, man. I mean, he gets shit done.

[2021] He's not grimacing in pain.

[2022] He's like, this shit hurts.

[2023] I like it.

[2024] There's a mindset of those people, though, that can do those ultramarathons.

[2025] That's a different world inside your dome, man. You're, you got some darkness in there you're trying to what was that woman that smashed all of them Courtney DeWalter yeah she was on the podcast yeah isn't she a teacher did you listen to the podcast she was not she's amazing she eats nachos drinks beer eats candy she's eating candy when she's hanging out with us but what's going on her brain man that's what I want to see I want to see a CT scan she's a straight up savage I'll tell you what how does she keep going how she had some sort of retina edema where she was almost blind because her contacts fucked up or something like that and her her eyeballs were bleeding and she couldn't see and she fell cracked her fucking head open like like blood pouring down her head still one couldn't see couldn't see where her feet were while she was running her brain cannot be the same it's not she's just tough there's there's mental toughness that some people have that is almost unexplainable like you don't like what makes them that tough i don't understand it the ability to block out all the negative voices, the stop voices?

[2026] I mean...

[2027] Well, think about personalities, right?

[2028] Like, a personality like Bert, that could be the life of the party.

[2029] Right.

[2030] That's not me. I'm not that guy.

[2031] No. I've never been that guy.

[2032] I mean, I can...

[2033] I can...

[2034] If we're all hanging around together, we're all drinking, I can make everybody laugh.

[2035] I could be silly, and we could all have a good time together.

[2036] But I don't gravitate towards that thinking, that kind of behavior.

[2037] Whereas Bert can walk into a liquor store and having everybody sing along to I would die for you.

[2038] Yeah, yeah.

[2039] He's got his fun.

[2040] going out and people are dancing and yeah it's it's a genuine personality type yeah that's who he is that's his personality type some people have that personality type where they'll get up at 4 30 in the morning and you know it's dark outside and they relish the fact that they don't want to put their running shoes on and they don't want to hit that mountain and run they relish the fact that they're they're gonna struggle they like it they like it yeah they like the pain they like the the the stinging of the lungs as your lungs struggle to fill with air, they like it.

[2041] Yeah, true.

[2042] Yeah, they like also the fact that other people can't do what they can do.

[2043] They like the fact that there's people that are in bed that are comfortably asleep while they're out there doing it and it gives them an edge.

[2044] Sure.

[2045] Yeah.

[2046] What makes a person's personality to be this outgoing extrovert like Burke Kreischer?

[2047] what makes that stoic individual that can sit and go over, you know, like an accountant who can just sit and go over things for hours and hours, a coder.

[2048] Someone who could sit in front of a computer and go over 10, 12 hours a day where the computer code is a certain mindset, yeah.

[2049] It's a different kind of human, right?

[2050] Yeah, because, I mean, both of those personalities I could never entertain, you know, just so far from what I am.

[2051] I'm fascinated by personalities.

[2052] Yeah.

[2053] I just find, there's so many variables.

[2054] like as to what makes a person who they are and and how it changes over time and who you are the more you consider yourself and like I did a podcast yesterday about meditation it was all about meditation with Dan Harris from Good Morning America who's a big proponent of meditation and this guy Jeff Warren who wrote this book, Head Trip, a very very interesting guy who was his meditation teacher and we're just talking about thought processes and the mind and managing the mind and managing the way you do things, don't do things, and how much of these little weird kinks and pitfalls can just trip you up and fuck you up in your life.

[2055] Like, imagine Louis C .K. without this desire to beat off in front of women.

[2056] Like, let's say he did that 10 times in his whole life.

[2057] Imagine if you could get to him before those 10 times and go, hey, man, look, you're a real nice guy.

[2058] You've always been, like, friendly to people.

[2059] You give good advice as a comedian.

[2060] Just you can't beat off in front of people.

[2061] Yeah.

[2062] We've got to, it's going to cost you like $50 million one day.

[2063] Yeah.

[2064] Like, what?

[2065] Yeah.

[2066] You think so?

[2067] Yeah.

[2068] Yeah, one day it's going to cost you $50 million if you just beat off in front of people.

[2069] No one's going to work with you.

[2070] So just don't do that.

[2071] Yeah.

[2072] Don't do that.

[2073] Or here's what you could do.

[2074] Pay a hooker and say, I want to beat off in front of you.

[2075] And she'll go, okay.

[2076] And then you give her a thousand bucks or whatever it costs and you beat off in front of her.

[2077] You could do that.

[2078] And you'd be like, mm, that's not the same.

[2079] But, like, what would make a person, what makes a person?

[2080] Tick, really.

[2081] Yeah.

[2082] What is it inside your head?

[2083] Like, it's all your experiences, really, that become your personality, I think.

[2084] There's that.

[2085] These are your experiences?

[2086] There's managing your particular biology.

[2087] Yeah.

[2088] You know, there's so many different things.

[2089] Yeah, because, like, you're at the age now, too, where you can see, like, with your children, do you ever see how they're a certain age of?

[2090] now but you go like I saw that trait in you when you were one oh yeah yeah yeah you see like the stuff that's natural in someone mm -hmm the natural personality trait and then you sprinkle life on top of that starts to develop who the person becomes well your son is probably just now starting to talk yeah yeah you'll start to have a little conversations with them then you'll start see you in them and that's where it gets really weird really oh no you've inherited all my craziness you see that in your kids my nine -year -old in particular really really She's got a lot of my crazy in her.

[2091] Yeah.

[2092] And you totally see yourself.

[2093] Oh, yeah.

[2094] She gets obsessed with things.

[2095] Like, obsessed.

[2096] Or she'll just do them, like, all day long.

[2097] Like, we went on a vacation, and we were walking back from the resort.

[2098] She did cartwheels all the way back from the resort to the room.

[2099] It was a half mile.

[2100] So, fucking, like, 500 cartwheels.

[2101] Over and over and over again.

[2102] She just gets nuts about stuff.

[2103] Is it the kind of thing where, like, hey, should probably stop doing that?

[2104] No, let her do it.

[2105] They're like, I don't, I think as long as your kids aren't hurting themselves and it hurting other people, the more you say, hey, don't do that, the more they're going to want to do that.

[2106] Sure.

[2107] It's natural.

[2108] What I try to do is encourage healthy things.

[2109] That's it.

[2110] I try to, like, when it comes to, like, candy and sugar and stuff like that, I try to tell them, yeah, it tastes great.

[2111] It tastes amazing.

[2112] But you're really only supposed to have a little bit of it for your, just, it's bad for your body.

[2113] You know, I don't just give them this, hey, you can't eat candy.

[2114] Hey, you can't do that.

[2115] I'm like, a little bit's good.

[2116] A little bit's fine.

[2117] Let's have a little bit.

[2118] Let's enjoy it.

[2119] But let's understand what it is.

[2120] Like, let's be aware of what it is.

[2121] But don't be afraid of it.

[2122] Don't run from it.

[2123] Don't, you know.

[2124] Yeah.

[2125] Nobody died because they had an ice cream once a week.

[2126] Sure.

[2127] You know, it's not going to hurt you.

[2128] Just don't have it every fucking night.

[2129] Yeah, just don't get crazy.

[2130] Don't let it become a part of everything who you are.

[2131] And one of the things that I do the most, though, is encourage them, like, what do they enjoy doing like what do you enjoy doing you know like my youngest one loves art loves to draw loves it just constantly drawing that's awesome like let's draw let's look let's do some art it's fun it's like there's something like find out whatever it is where you can find this avenue for expression and and i want to encourage that as much as i can because i feel like if there's anything in this life that'll guarantee you some satisfaction or some feeling of accomplishment or some some way to fuel your passions it's find something that really hits your switches find that thing like you found it right you found it with stand -up yeah totally I mean but you imagine doing something else other than stand -up no of course not I mean at this point I don't know I tell people that all the time actually it's like that's the thing you become aware of I think when you get older you're like I'm so lucky that I do the thing I really like doing the most.

[2132] Yeah.

[2133] That's really the thing.

[2134] And then you meet people, like, I meet people all the time, but like I talk to people who, you know, I'm just not happy with, they're just like, I'm not happy with my life and this and that.

[2135] I'm like, what is it you really want to do?

[2136] And they go, I don't know.

[2137] Like, real question, real question.

[2138] If somebody wanted to trade lives, Jeff Bezos wanted to trade lives, you get to be Jeff Bezos, you get $105 billion, but you can't do stand -up anymore.

[2139] No, because I love it.

[2140] I love it.

[2141] Yeah.

[2142] that's so hard for people to imagine yeah well no because like I mean that I know that sounds like a comical amount of money and that like who the fuck would turn that down but it's like I don't really feel like I'm turning something down because I have I get so much pleasure and enjoy out of doing what I do could you imagine you made that deal and you came back to the comedy store and you're watching somebody just killed and you'd be like fuck I want to go up and they're like no man you got to take your spaceship home now And you're sitting around writing things down When you think they're funny And you never get to do it You take it See if you can make it work Do you remember Tom Agna Mm -mm?

[2143] He's a really funny comedian And apparently he lives in Thailand now And just fucking retired On his writer's guild money Really?

[2144] And you know His mortgage is like 500 bucks a month And Neil Brennan Went to see him last week in Thailand Really?

[2145] Yeah And he was a comic?

[2146] Yep a funny comic i knew him from boston really good guy there's tom agna really good guy and he's retired there now lives in thailand good for him just on the beach just kicking back and apparently he writes still he'll still like write right stuff for people but doesn't give a fuck anymore good for him man yeah i mean i hear about things like that and i go wow he did it he figured out a way to do it he figured out a way to get off the bus yeah i don't think i'm getting off i feel like i'm gonna george carl in this motherfucker just keep driving it yeah i feel like one day i'm gonna die in a hotel room somewhere 80 years old yeah i don't know i mean sometimes i think about like how like god damn i'm i'm gonna do this for because it feels like there's too much time uh still ahead of me you know what i mean though but i mean like i go like wait i'm gonna do this for 25 more years or something that's fucking nuts the only thing that excites me as much is outdoor stuff so you really love that shit yeah i'm kind of jealous of all your hobbies but not not i mean just that you i'm jealous of of the fact that you're passionate of about like hunting shoot and pool jujitsu you know archery i'm like god damn i wish i had like uh that much passion for at least one other thing you know i just think i'm crazy i think i find these things and then i get obsessed with them yeah you know i'm lucky that there's like i have to manage those things Like, I have to be careful.

[2147] Like, I'm lucky I don't know how to fix cars.

[2148] If I knew how to fix cars, like I had, I entertained this idea for a while of building a car from scratch.

[2149] Really?

[2150] Of getting a frame and then starting to put suspension on it.

[2151] And I said, no, you've got to stop.

[2152] Like, you can't do this.

[2153] Like, you can't do this.

[2154] And I would like it.

[2155] I would like it.

[2156] I'd start wiring things.

[2157] I'm surprised you don't move or at least get a place in the woods.

[2158] I think that's something going to happen.

[2159] I'm scared of that, too.

[2160] Yeah.

[2161] I'm scared of that too.

[2162] you know when we lived uh in boulder i liked it a lot dude i liked it a lot i went to that house yeah it's beautiful yeah so peaceful up there right amazing just woods and mountain lines eating your dog and shit it's just weird yeah but i i don't know man i just have to for for me it's always like make sure like there's almost like there's two me's there's the manager me it's like hey hey hey hold on before we embark on this journey let's take a look at where this could go wrong let's take a look at where this can go before i release the hounds and then there's the other part that's like just wants to just go go for it go do things you know i want a hobby though dude do you what kind i don't know want to go bow hunting with me um bo hunting i would go to a range first to see how much i dig i haven't shot i've shot an arrow bow an arrow but it's been like 25 years i got a range here.

[2163] Oh, you have a range here?

[2164] Yeah, it's an indoor archery range in this place.

[2165] Okay.

[2166] This weekend, I'm getting a thing called techno hunt installed.

[2167] Techno hunt is, have you ever seen that video game where you hit a golf ball and the virtual golf ball rolls on the screen?

[2168] Yeah.

[2169] They make that with archery.

[2170] You're doing that?

[2171] With bow hunting.

[2172] Here?

[2173] Yep.

[2174] So there's the animals walk across the screen and you shoot at the animals with a regular compound bow and instead of having sharp pointed tips yeah this is this is the game right here you have a tip that has a flat head like the head of a nail and so these animals walk across the screen and you literally shoot at the target and like watch it'll show you like it's going to be like yeah yeah i have it's coming this weekend bro see watch how it hits where he shoots it where you would want to get right there right behind the arm bam perfect shot So that's going to be like good kill.

[2175] So it shows where the thing hit and it shows your score and your vitals and stuff like that.

[2176] That's very cool.

[2177] You're going to be really into this.

[2178] It's crazy, though.

[2179] Yeah, Ari Burt and I went to Top Golf.

[2180] You know what that is?

[2181] Oh, that's in Vegas, right?

[2182] Well, yeah, they have one in Vegas and they have like, I don't know, like 25 locations.

[2183] Oh, they're all over the place?

[2184] Yeah, we stayed there for like hours, hours.

[2185] Like we thought we were going to play like a round, but it just became addictive and fun.

[2186] We just kept doing it.

[2187] It's not just driving.

[2188] So you have like a bay, right?

[2189] Right.

[2190] And then like your own tea and, you know, three of you put your names in the system.

[2191] And you get a real golf ball and they track the balls.

[2192] So like when you hit it, there's targets that you can go for points.

[2193] So like you hit that flag.

[2194] So it knows like Ari hit the flag.

[2195] And it like so you get like eight points.

[2196] And then it'll be like your next balls worth double.

[2197] And if you hit the blue flag, it's.

[2198] going to be like 16 points so like and then there's different games within the system you can go just for like chip shots you can go for distance anyways we just man I thought we were we thought we were going to play like an hour I think we said four hours that's crazy and and we were all like we got to find another top golf like we were really really into it man and you guys don't even play golf no I mean I know those two used to play like Ari said he played regularly a long time ago same with bert they both had much better shots than me but I was equally obsessed with it like I didn't care that I was even shitting the bed I was having so much fun doing it so many different things you could do that's why when people tell me that they're bored I mean unless you're broken there's nothing you do but even then there's so many physical activities that you do that are free no yeah I don't understand I'm not bored by any means I just like um you know throwing myself into an activity like that so you need a hobby I think so why don't you get into jitsu no no I don't like a big guy I I didn't, see the guns.

[2199] I never liked, I never liked, um, I never liked wrestling.

[2200] I did, I wrestle when you, I hated it.

[2201] Too gay?

[2202] I just don't like having, like, guys on top of you.

[2203] Yeah, and I don't like, you know, my neck being jacked or any of that shit.

[2204] Like, I never liked, you know.

[2205] How about Muay Thai?

[2206] I like throwing punches.

[2207] Yeah, that's cool.

[2208] I like that.

[2209] Yeah, just taking them Muay class.

[2210] Learn how to kick the bag.

[2211] Learn how to hit the pads.

[2212] Maybe, maybe.

[2213] Learn how to use your defense, move, push away.

[2214] I like that.

[2215] Maybe photography.

[2216] Yeah, one of the old ladies tries to pinch your ass after a show.

[2217] You sweep the leg.

[2218] Sweep the leg, knock her out.

[2219] Whip, pow!

[2220] Boom!

[2221] Take her down.

[2222] Hush!

[2223] Get some good press next day.

[2224] Can you imagine?

[2225] Did you see that thing with Josh Homb from Queens of the Stone Age?

[2226] Oh, yes.

[2227] The photographer.

[2228] What in the fuck was going on?

[2229] Yeah.

[2230] Apparently the later story was like, well, her flash was really fucking bothering everybody.

[2231] Oh, was it?

[2232] Yeah.

[2233] Like, that she wasn't.

[2234] He's supposed to have a flash going.

[2235] Oh.

[2236] But that was not okay the way that that shit went down, man. Yeah, you're supposed to go, hey, lady, turn the fucking flash off.

[2237] And he was, wasn't part of his thing?

[2238] Like, I was trying to kick the camera, but he, like, kicked her in the head or something?

[2239] Well, he said he was kicking equipment around and he accidentally kicked.

[2240] He made a bunch of bullshit excuses.

[2241] It's super deliberate.

[2242] You can see it.

[2243] Super.

[2244] Yeah.

[2245] He kicked her in the face.

[2246] Yeah.

[2247] Like, the camera is, like, right here, and he kicks the camera and hits her in the mug.

[2248] Yeah, no. He fucked her out.

[2249] Well, in his defense, though, he might have been, like, super frustrated.

[2250] if that was the case that someone was like flashing in his face and by the way I can totally see you know losing your shit on stage I think it's happened to everybody I can't see it but it's not okay I could not kick it someone no no no I've wanted to say something yeah I've wanted to kick someone have you for sure I mean over the course of a whole career yeah oh yeah I've wanted to kick someone you know what's interesting I watched I did Long Beach I did that what was it the Terrace Theater I forget what theater is in Long Beach Big ass theater in Long Beach.

[2251] Yeah.

[2252] Great theater.

[2253] Really weird because there's no, you could never have this theater today.

[2254] It would be completely illegal because there's the way to get out.

[2255] Like the rows, the rows are like 70 seats long.

[2256] And there's no aisle in the middles.

[2257] There's aisle on the left side, aisle on the right side.

[2258] But the whole span in front of you is just seats.

[2259] It's amazing to perform there.

[2260] Still there?

[2261] Yeah.

[2262] That's the place.

[2263] Oh, my God.

[2264] Yeah, look at that.

[2265] Oh, yeah.

[2266] Man, you got to get up, take a piss.

[2267] If you got a piss and you're in the middle, you're fucked.

[2268] Like, how could you 40 people?

[2269] Especially if you're overweight, if you're a big fella and you're trying to get through all that.

[2270] Yeah.

[2271] But anyway, when I went there, they informed me that that was where Richard Pryor did his live in concert from 79.

[2272] That's re -recorded.

[2273] And I went back and watched it after I got home.

[2274] And I was like, holy shit, this is crazy.

[2275] He pulled up to the same dock where I pulled up.

[2276] He walks in with his wife, goes to the same back area that I went to.

[2277] Then I watch it, and in the beginning of it, there's a fucking guy in the front of the stage who's getting, like Richard Pryor's on stage, and he's standing there taking pictures of Richard Pryor.

[2278] While he's filming his special.

[2279] And Richard's going, sit down, motherfucker, stop taking my picture.

[2280] He's saying it even in 79 it was an issue.

[2281] Yeah, stop taking pictures.

[2282] And it's just a guy in the audience.

[2283] It's not a professional photographer.

[2284] What do you think of that phone thing?

[2285] Are you going to do that?

[2286] Yes, I'm doing that.

[2287] You are?

[2288] That is, oh, okay, I should probably tell people.

[2289] For my shows upcoming in Austin, Houston, and Durham, North Carolina, there's a company called Yonder.

[2290] They take your phone, they put it into a bag, and you keep your phone.

[2291] But they have to open your bag when you leave.

[2292] So you're not making any phone calls.

[2293] You're not doing any text.

[2294] You're not filming.

[2295] You're not doing anything.

[2296] I watched Chappelle Special when Chappelle did that, and I was like, this is it.

[2297] yeah and it was fucking amazing how much more tuned in people are yeah like when they don't have their phone yeah especially just checking your texts and every time you're on stage I mean how many times are people just standing there filming things I just did a show where it's like fourth row dark house and you just see see the light yeah fucking beacon of light yeah and I was like doing I'm doing I'm talking and then you know I'm just like trying to finish a bit and then I do it And I'm like, hey, man, what are you doing?

[2298] What?

[2299] What are you doing?

[2300] He's not even listening when I ask him what he's doing.

[2301] And then his friends are like, hey, hey, he looks up.

[2302] I go, what are you doing?

[2303] It's for work.

[2304] I go, you bought these tickets to do work?

[2305] And he's like, I just, I got to do it.

[2306] I go, no, no. You're lighting up the whole room.

[2307] Like people that don't realize that?

[2308] I go, there's like 15 minutes left.

[2309] And he's like, all right.

[2310] And he flipped it over, like put the.

[2311] the phone down not not two minutes later he's back on his phone back on it back doing things I was like and I actually knew to not say anything at the second time because I didn't want to I didn't want the show to be about that so I was like this is just going to be negative as shit right but thankfully the staff noticed and they went over there and I don't know I'm doing this from now on I think this phone thing I mean look look some people don't like it that's okay but it's going to make a better show here's the thing so people know Because I know a little bit about the yonder thing, too.

[2312] It's like, if you're like, well, what if I need to?

[2313] You can actually, you can leave the showroom.

[2314] Yeah.

[2315] And they'll unlock it for you.

[2316] You can make your call in the lobby.

[2317] But it's just keeping people tuned in and not distracting people.

[2318] I went to see Love, the Beatles show at the Mirage.

[2319] Fucking amazing, the Cirque de Soleil Show.

[2320] It's incredible.

[2321] I've heard.

[2322] Incredible.

[2323] This guy in front of me has his brightness jack to the fucking roof, and he's texting people like so while i'm trying to watch the show this guy has this bright phone yeah and he's just sitting there texting yeah it's horrible and over and over again completely disrespecting all the people around them everybody's just got to go like this yeah because the place is pitch black a lot of the stuff is going on because there's like there's stuff comes down from the ceiling and people are descending and they're doing this acrobatics and this dickhead is just constantly on his fucking phone yeah it's like just do you want to fucking experience things for a minute you know You know what I mean?

[2324] Like, you go to Cirque de Soleil, or you go to Joe Rogan's show.

[2325] It's like, you fucking went, you decided to go to the thing.

[2326] Like, don't you want to experience the show?

[2327] Yeah.

[2328] Just watch the show for a minute.

[2329] You got to force people, because there's a certain amount of people that are just not going to.

[2330] You get a good deal?

[2331] It's not cheap.

[2332] It's not cheap, yeah.

[2333] It costs money.

[2334] Yeah.

[2335] But I feel like it's going to be worth it.

[2336] I think so, too.

[2337] And I'm definitely going to do it for my special.

[2338] Oh, yeah.

[2339] It's a good idea.

[2340] I'm just doing it from now on.

[2341] Because my last two specials, I dealt with people sitting in the front row and the second road just standing there holding that phone up in front of you just holding it right at you like you don't think that's distracting you don't think that's weird live your life i think it's a especially good thing to do in a big big venue yeah yeah yeah so that's it folks so if you come into uh austin houston houston and durham we're taking your phone and put it in a baghugger give your phone up give that phone up give it up give it up you did your special in Denver right at the paramount yeah it's a fucking great place it's great I love it.

[2342] Denver's the shit.

[2343] It's still my favorite, man. It's my favorite city.

[2344] I think if I move anywhere, it'll either be there or maybe Seattle.

[2345] Those are my spots.

[2346] I would love actually downtown Denver.

[2347] I would also think it would be amazing to live like 20 minutes outside of Denver.

[2348] Yeah.

[2349] Go to like evergreen.

[2350] Golden, live in the woods.

[2351] It'd be fucking amazing.

[2352] I really think it's in my future.

[2353] Do you?

[2354] I do.

[2355] You're going to bail out of California?

[2356] I don't think, I'm not going to, I don't think.

[2357] I don't think.

[2358] I think I'm going to do it in the next couple of years, but I think in my life I will move to Colorado at some point.

[2359] Yeah.

[2360] I really love it.

[2361] I love it, too.

[2362] I love all aspects of it.

[2363] Like, I like the culture, I like the outdoors, I like the people that I meet there always meet great people there.

[2364] Yeah.

[2365] They have all the infrastructure you want from a big city.

[2366] You have access to everything.

[2367] Oh, yeah.

[2368] Great restaurants.

[2369] You have great, you know, they have big sports.

[2370] They have entertainment.

[2371] They have everything you want.

[2372] The people are cool as fuck, too.

[2373] They really are.

[2374] It's just, they're not pretentious, like a lot of people that live in L .A. or San Francisco or New York.

[2375] Yeah.

[2376] They're very laid back.

[2377] But, you know, they're surrounded by also, I think there's something about being surrounded by the Rocky Mountains.

[2378] I think it's good.

[2379] Start taking yourself seriously.

[2380] You just look out and go, yeah.

[2381] Fucking the vastness of all this.

[2382] It's insane.

[2383] It was a great night, man. I had such a fucking lucky night.

[2384] It was an awesome night to do the special.

[2385] I'm trying to do red rocks, but every time I look at.

[2386] for a date, I got to look, two, three years in advance, and it's like Tuesday and Wednesday nights.

[2387] I heard about that.

[2388] I was talking to them about Red Rocks, and they're like, people will take a date they don't even want because it's years in advance.

[2389] Yeah.

[2390] Well, that's what they offered me. They offered me a bunch of Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

[2391] And they're not in, like, in 2020 or something.

[2392] 2019.

[2393] There's like Tuesdays and Wednesdays in 2019.

[2394] That's all that's available?

[2395] Yeah.

[2396] Wow.

[2397] I was like, I can't get a Friday?

[2398] yeah but the belco the place that i do normally yeah i like that's but that's like five thousand something whereas red rock is like nine nine thousand it's a lot it's a lot but you've been doing two belcos two belcos yeah that's 10 ,000 people yeah no it's not i can do enough people but it's just i like people want to go on on saturday night yeah they want to go out on friday night they don't want to go on fucking wednesday yeah hike to them some weird Have you been out to Red Rock?

[2399] Amphitheater?

[2400] No. It's supposed to be the shit, though.

[2401] Yeah, I heard it's incredible.

[2402] Brian Regan was in, and he was telling me how he performed there.

[2403] There was a video of it.

[2404] He made, like, a whole film of it.

[2405] Really?

[2406] He loved it.

[2407] He said it was amazing.

[2408] Not a lot of comedians performed there, though.

[2409] It's pretty special.

[2410] Yeah.

[2411] Yeah.

[2412] Well, it's got to be, you got to do it.

[2413] Yeah.

[2414] All right.

[2415] Well, let's wrap this bitch up.

[2416] Everybody, tomorrow, meaning tonight, midnight, tonight.

[2417] The great and powerful Tommy Bunn's special comes out on Netflix.

[2418] don't sleep this is what you do you get up early and you watch the last one first yeah mostly stories get jacked up that'll be a warm up and then why disgraceful it's how my mother described my stand -up one time she came and saw me on this tour and she saw you know like when your parents come you're like ah man and you know it was a good one like she came to a good show right and they came backstage and it was like my dad was like a lot of people here buddy kind of money you get or something like this it's like a total dad question and my mom my mom was like how do you think mom she was like amazing but your language it's like if this porno if if you say disgrace and I was like thinking of titles and I was like oh I love upsetting my mother so I call it disgraceful that's hilarious Your mother has a strong Spanish accent, right?

[2419] Very strong.

[2420] That's funny.

[2421] It's hilarious when you speak Spanish in front of you.

[2422] I've talked to people about it before, but it's funny when you speak Spanish in front, two people that didn't expect it.

[2423] Yeah, yeah.

[2424] I talk about it in the special.

[2425] Oh, yeah?

[2426] Yeah, I have a bit about it now.

[2427] Yeah, because it throws them off guard.

[2428] They're like, how do you do that?

[2429] You look so white.

[2430] I know, I know.

[2431] And then my sisters are darker.

[2432] They have a darker complexion than me. Oh, do they?

[2433] Yeah, especially if we go, like, if we go in the sun for, like, a few days, they turn in to fucking Inca's, and then I just burn.

[2434] So, yeah, it's very, just, you could tell it's just genetics.

[2435] I got, like, my dad's skin, and they got hers.

[2436] All right, ladies and gentlemen, that's it.

[2437] Tonight, midnight, Tommy Buns, on Netflix.

[2438] Don't sleep.

[2439] Definitely watch it.

[2440] Anything else.

[2441] Thanks, brother.

[2442] I love you.

[2443] I love you, too, man. Thank you very much.

[2444] Anytime.

[2445] Bye, everybody.

[2446] I will be back in a little bit with UFC welterweight champion Tyron Woodley.

[2447] See you.

[2448] Tyron here today?