The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz XX
[0] You're listening to Draft King's Network.
[1] I mean, you could have given me a little hand signal that your mic was off.
[2] I did.
[3] You just wait until you talked and you're like, oh, my mic's not off.
[4] I looked at you and I was like, you could have just quietly been like, and then I put you on and then no one ever knows.
[5] I looked at you.
[6] I made eye contact.
[7] I didn't see it.
[8] And so I thought when I was like, either this is going to work or it's not going to work.
[9] That was my bad.
[10] Setting up Chris for failure Well, actually At least it turned out to be hilarious You know You know what I'm actually doing I'm doing my silent protest Of why don't this seat Have one of these things I don't understand Talkback button I'm just like any button Like the thing For all that shit Like why wouldn't this seat have that To not confuse Greg We have so many buttons around here Just don't let him You know how to touch it Like he sat in other seats He would touch it We don't have a short I'm with you We don't have a shortage shortage of buttons around here So why not We're not, like, we could add three more.
[11] Right.
[12] We have a million buttons right here.
[13] I'm just going to start pushing buttons one of these days.
[14] Like, I always feel bad when, like, Greg yesterday coughed and Dan's like, that's $2.
[15] I'm like, where's these, there's no mute button?
[16] Well, he actually does have it.
[17] Under there, there is a cough button for Greg.
[18] It's like a little.
[19] Really?
[20] It looks like a. Yeah, David uses it a lot when he's here.
[21] It's all the way.
[22] Our mark is here.
[23] I've never seen Greg use it, though.
[24] Our mark is here.
[25] The button is all the way.
[26] That's not, come on, man. Yeah.
[27] It's a reach.
[28] I mean, like.
[29] I actually like that seat, so I'm going to ask them.
[30] Better camera angle.
[31] I know.
[32] I like your seat better than I like my seat.
[33] You want your seats?
[34] I mean, listen.
[35] But you need that shit more than I do.
[36] Dan asked me why I don't watch the show.
[37] It's because I look fat.
[38] It's because I have a terrible camera angle and I can't watch myself.
[39] I can't look at myself.
[40] I'm disgusted by myself.
[41] I am.
[42] It's a bad angle.
[43] I'm disgusted by you too.
[44] Well, thank you.
[45] But like also, why would you watch the show if you're on it?
[46] You don't need to hear your takes again, right?
[47] Although I have noticed when I listen back to the show, I hear like things that I didn't hear when I was sitting here.
[48] Like when you said apparently that the last place NFL game would get more viewers than the Super Bowl, I didn't even hear you say that yesterday.
[49] And Amin came in here fired up that none of us pushed back on it.
[50] I was like, I didn't hear it.
[51] Like the Reagan -Mauia conversation that you got you tuned out of.
[52] You know, in the same vein as buttons.
[53] A lot of words are set around here.
[54] It's hard to catch them all.
[55] Yeah.
[56] Yeah.
[57] Well said.
[58] Also.
[59] You want to talk candy?
[60] Yes.
[61] Are we on?
[62] We've been on, maybe.
[63] I think so.
[64] Juju's been eating Jolly Ranchers all day.
[65] Good.
[66] I was telling Amin before the show that I think there is no bigger disparity in candy in terms of like a box of candy, right?
[67] Then the red from the best candy to the worst candy within that same box.
[68] And I think it's juicy fruits.
[69] I think the red and the orange are so good.
[70] They're the best.
[71] the worst one is the black and the disparity in that is such a wide gulf I can't think like maybe the cherry starburst versus the lemon starburst that's a massive falloff but I think it's juicy fruits so I love the overall topic of what candy has the biggest fallout to the lowest the biggest drop off right from best to worst from best to worst that's a great topic the problem is two guts and you've been saying it all day long and I said at some point I'm not going to correct you I'm just going to wait till we get to this segment.
[72] Juicy fruit, Stugats, is a Wrigley's gum.
[73] It's like saying one of these winter freshness is really good, but the other one is bad.
[74] One of these double mints is really good, but the other one's bad.
[75] Juicy fruit is just gum.
[76] There are no different flavors of juicy fruit.
[77] It's a yellow pack, and it's just five sticks of gum.
[78] It used to be 25 cents for the longest time.
[79] I don't know how much it costs anymore.
[80] But they don't come in different flavors.
[81] It's just juicy fruit.
[82] You're thinking about juju bees, I think?
[83] I think I am, yes.
[84] Juji fruit?
[85] J -U -J -Y -Fruit.
[86] Maybe.
[87] The candy comes out.
[88] It feels like a slur, so I'm not going to say it again.
[89] I feel like juju should be.
[90] Right, I'm talking.
[91] So I said gum, so I misspoke.
[92] I said juicy fruit, right.
[93] You said juicy fruit.
[94] Not what I'm talking about.
[95] Juicy fruit is a candy.
[96] That's what I'm talking about.
[97] And it looks like there's a red, like raspberry, and then there's a brown or like a purple grape flavor.
[98] Is that what you mean?
[99] Yeah.
[100] It's like dark.
[101] I'm going to tell you.
[102] You, there's an unequivocal winner.
[103] So I'm sifting through, you know, I'm sifting through the box.
[104] I'm trying to find the good ones.
[105] I'm leaving the bad ones in the box.
[106] I don't like that.
[107] Just make all the flavors good.
[108] How about that?
[109] I'll tell you right now, Sugatz, there's an unequivocal winner.
[110] There is no second place.
[111] Is it Starburst?
[112] No, it's not Starburst.
[113] Starbursts.
[114] Because I'll eat it.
[115] I'll eat the Starburst flavors I don't like.
[116] Lemon?
[117] I'll eat lemon.
[118] Really?
[119] Like, if it's all that's left, I'll eat it.
[120] But I'll tell you what?
[121] Jelly beans?
[122] Right.
[123] That black licorice jelly bean?
[124] That's terrible.
[125] Nobody wants that one.
[126] Samson likes those.
[127] My actual favorite candy is a root beer jelly bean.
[128] I know that's strange.
[129] Samson also doesn't have a sense of taste.
[130] I was on Reddit the other day and there was like an Ask Reddit thread about like what, you know, if you want a product for the rest of your life at some point, what was it?
[131] Like in one of those contests, I probably phrased that poorly, but you know what I mean?
[132] Yeah, like, hey, a lifetime supply blank.
[133] What was it?
[134] And so one guy got won like an oil change and like there were a bunch of different things.
[135] But one of them was jelly beans.
[136] And actually, like, they were like, oh, it's a lifetime supply of jelly beans.
[137] But it ended up being, like, a humongous bag that they got one time.
[138] And I can't think of something that I would want less than that many jelly beans.
[139] We all know the brown M &Ms are the best tasting M &Ms, though, right?
[140] No. They're all.
[141] They all taste the same.
[142] It's just a color.
[143] No, they don't.
[144] It's just a color.
[145] I got a terrible hypothetical.
[146] So you thought I was talking gum.
[147] No. I knew I knew you were wrong in saying juicy fruit And you kept saying juicy fruit I'm like no no no No no it's juicy fruit I'm like okay This will test what your favorite candy is This is a terrible hypothetical You have to for the next week Every 10 minutes that you're awake You have to eat this piece of candy 10 minutes you're awake Every 10 minutes you're awake for the next week You have to eat one piece of candy Six times an hour Six times in a tiny If it's Snickers you don't It's just a bite You don't have to eat an entire Snickers If you choose Snickers You have to take a bite of said candy every 10 minutes for a week that you're awake.
[148] And then you have to take an insulin shot every day for the rest of your life.
[149] I'm just saying if I made you do this terrible thing, what candy are you choosing for this?
[150] Huh.
[151] I had to.
[152] I'll go skittles.
[153] I'll go runtz.
[154] Runs?
[155] Yeah.
[156] It's nice and small.
[157] You're telling me like a weird sadistic genius that this is your life sentence.
[158] You have to eat one of these.
[159] You lost some random bet.
[160] I'm going to go with Reese's peanut butter cups.
[161] I don't know Reese's Pieces.
[162] Peanut butter all.
[163] Just throw a couple in your mouth.
[164] Just one.
[165] Yeah.
[166] Jeremy brought up a point.
[167] If you choose something like that, you're getting that same flavor for a week straight.
[168] Whereas if you choose Starburst every 10 minutes, I can at least have a different journey.
[169] No, I like me of peanut butter and chocolate flavor.
[170] Just a lot of peanut butter in the span of a week.
[171] Did you describe the eating of a starburst as a journey?
[172] It's like, ooh, I mean, pink world.
[173] now.
[174] Ooh, look.