Aubrey Plaza

[0] Hello, hello, hello, welcome to armchair expert.

[1] I'm Dak Shepard.

[2] I'm miniature mouse in Michigan.

[3] Woo!

[4] Maximum Michigan for miniature mouse.

[5] We're sitting on a couch in Monica's hotel room.

[6] Wobby Wob's in a much more comfortable chair than us.

[7] Aubrey Plaza is our guest today.

[8] You know her from Parks and Recreation.

[9] Child's play, Dirty Grandpa, and currently Legion.

[10] Final season of Legion on FX returning June 24th.

[11] child's play in theaters on June 21st.

[12] I adore Aubrey.

[13] She's made us laugh a a trillion times.

[14] She did.

[15] She's a special lady.

[16] And a really funny talk show guest.

[17] I do encourage people to go down a rabbit hole of just watching her on late night talk shows.

[18] She's had a really interesting life.

[19] She really has.

[20] Yeah.

[21] Yes.

[22] So please enjoy Aubrey Plaza.

[23] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to armchair expert early and ad free right now.

[24] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[25] Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[26] He's an object square.

[27] You know it's great.

[28] What?

[29] You already started with a chip on your shoulder.

[30] I always have to chew on my shoulder.

[31] But I guess that's kind of...

[32] If I attack first, then...

[33] Aubrey, thank you so much for coming in.

[34] You were here a half hour late, and I'm sure that couldn't have possibly...

[35] Early, early, early.

[36] I'm sorry, I'm sorry, yes.

[37] We were on time, but you were a half hour early.

[38] Mm -hmm.

[39] And so that certainly could have helped with the chip.

[40] God, I hate being early.

[41] Mm -hmm.

[42] I like to be a good 10 minutes late.

[43] Oh, 10 minutes late?

[44] Always.

[45] Okay.

[46] Now, we on this show talk a lot about people with misophonia.

[47] What's a misophonia?

[48] Yes, it's like misochonia.

[49] Ponia.

[50] Yes, but it's a, it's a genetic.

[51] No, it's a couple photographs.

[52] Boy, you really really.

[53] You really have your guard up.

[54] Look at us.

[55] We're panicking.

[56] I kind of like it.

[57] You do.

[58] Yeah, it's kind of interesting.

[59] Well, I was watching a bunch of clips of Aubrey before we came here.

[60] And you guys have a similar thing in that you're both funny and cute, but you're fucking brats.

[61] Like you're both brats.

[62] That's pretty much the way.

[63] And I just don't want to do anything.

[64] You're a lot.

[65] Yes.

[66] And then Monica will go a step further.

[67] She will yell at her parents at full volume at like 31 in storm up to her room.

[68] And shut the, my mommy or my dad.

[69] That's true.

[70] That is true.

[71] Anyways, people have misophonia.

[72] They get, I don't know, what do they get nauseous?

[73] They get very angry.

[74] They get irrationally angry.

[75] When they hear people chewing food.

[76] And before this, I would have said, that's horseshit.

[77] You're just an intolerant person.

[78] But on 23 and me, if you go get 23 and me, it'll tell you if you have the genetic marker for mesophony.

[79] It's a real genetic thing.

[80] So I've become much more.

[81] I have 23 in me. Maybe I should look.

[82] Yeah, see if you have misophon.

[83] Well, I know you don't because you were just chewing into the microphone and it didn't bother you.

[84] But I have an ASMR kind of thing where I kind of like sounds like that.

[85] You do like ASMR.

[86] Will you watch those YouTube videos?

[87] Mm -hmm.

[88] Do you have a favorite?

[89] I like ASMR Darling.

[90] She does a lot of like rubbing her fabric.

[91] Like she'll try on different like clothes.

[92] Oh, and she'll be like this one is like really soft.

[93] Oh, wow.

[94] It feels like this.

[95] And do you experience the euphoria people talk about that love ASMR?

[96] It's not like a euphoric reaction for me. It's more just like a trancey.

[97] like, because I have like a thing I do with my hair where I've done this before.

[98] Like I make a loop and then I make this sound.

[99] Oh, uh -huh.

[100] But I do it in my ear like all day long.

[101] It's like a self -soothing thing.

[102] But it's like I like, well, sounds like that.

[103] Well, tell me if you like this.

[104] First of all, can you please close your eyes for one second?

[105] This is what I think it sounds like when people walk through a forest.

[106] Okay.

[107] I think it has.

[108] Do you know what it was?

[109] No. It's my beard.

[110] I don't like that.

[111] Sick.

[112] It's similar to your hair thing.

[113] It's quite similar.

[114] It's almost identical.

[115] It's pretty much the same thing.

[116] Do you think because you're generating that noise, you like it?

[117] And then when I generate it, it's sick.

[118] Mm -hmm.

[119] That's what you think's going on.

[120] No, I like it.

[121] I just don't want you to know what I like it.

[122] I don't know if I've ever had anyone here that appeared, appeared.

[123] I'm saying appeared in quotes to not want to be here as much.

[124] I do.

[125] I'm so happy to be here.

[126] What are you talking about?

[127] Okay.

[128] Tell your face.

[129] I like it.

[130] A lot.

[131] You're from Delaware.

[132] Delaware.

[133] Most people that I meet when they find out I'm from Delaware say, like, well, you're the first person I've ever met from Delaware.

[134] And I'm like, you know what?

[135] I've heard that a lot.

[136] Yeah.

[137] And you know what?

[138] I wanted to tell you that.

[139] And then I thought maybe she's heard that a lawyer.

[140] Mm -hmm.

[141] Which in 1984, I think that's pretty cool.

[142] Was she a lawyer then when you were born?

[143] No. My parents are really young.

[144] They had me when they were 20.

[145] And they both came from nothing.

[146] So they both like, you know, hustled their way through the 80s.

[147] And well, your dad's Puerto Rican, yeah?

[148] Yeah, he's Puerto Rican.

[149] He's not.

[150] He He wasn't born in Puerto Rico.

[151] Oh, oh, oh.

[152] His parents were, but he was not.

[153] Okay.

[154] He was born in Philly, so he grew up in Philly.

[155] So he would fulfill my Philly stereotype more than my.

[156] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[157] Okay.

[158] What is that?

[159] Philly's like, let's get a cheese steak.

[160] You know, it's kind of tough.

[161] It's almost New York.

[162] It's like, you know, didn't I doing it?

[163] I don't know.

[164] Yeah, sure.

[165] That's my family.

[166] Does that exactly what your dad sounds like?

[167] Yeah.

[168] Now, he was from Philly.

[169] Was mom also?

[170] No, my mom is from Delaware.

[171] She grew up in Delaware, and then they met at Westchester University, which is in Pennsylvania.

[172] They both worked at Wawa.

[173] My mom was a manager at Wawa.

[174] What's Wawa?

[175] Oh my gosh.

[176] You know about Wawa?

[177] No. That's what children will call water sometimes, like babies.

[178] And my Wawa.

[179] Yeah, exactly.

[180] I want my Wawa.

[181] Wawa's like a gas station's like mini -mart kind of short.

[182] Okay, like a Circle K, a 7 -Eleven.

[183] Yeah, it's like a 7 -Eleven.

[184] A stop and go.

[185] But it's like a very sacred version of that in the area where I grew up.

[186] People are really obsessed with Wawa, like coffee, Wawa iced tea, Wawa sandwiches.

[187] Uh -huh.

[188] Lots of things happen in the parking lot at Wawa.

[189] I was just going to say in high school, did you guys chill at the Wawa parking lot?

[190] Oh, yes.

[191] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[192] And since I grew up, now there's super Wawa's really big kind of like wawwaws on crack.

[193] It's just the little thrills of Delaware.

[194] Yeah.

[195] I grew up in Wilmington, which is like the northernmost city in Delaware.

[196] It's the only town that has a city city, and it's the biggest one.

[197] Oh, okay.

[198] It's not the capital, but it's the biggest one.

[199] Most of the people live up there.

[200] Delaware, you can drive through the whole state from top to bottom in two hours.

[201] And like once you get out of Wilmington, you start getting into like rural farms, but it's all along the coast.

[202] So it's like a very weird mix of chicken farms and the beach.

[203] Right.

[204] And all the beach towns where everyone gets like crazy.

[205] It's like a spring breaky type?

[206] Oh, yeah.

[207] Okay.

[208] With the Jersey Shore flavor?

[209] It's not like the Jersey Shore.

[210] It's like a different vibe.

[211] It's a little more closer to like Maryland.

[212] like ocean city oh ocean city all the kids go down to the beach like every summer and you did oh yeah just dewy it that's what people said oh just do i like that yeah and what kind of high school student were you you were like class president so you were outgoing i presume right you have to be outgoing to be the class president yeah i went to an all girls catholic school and i was very busy all the time you were very into a lot of clubs.

[213] Intrinsically motivated, or you were college -bound and wanted extracurricular things on your resume?

[214] I think it was a little bit of both, I guess.

[215] I was in the 4 -H program.

[216] You were?

[217] Yeah, so I...

[218] You had cattle or chickens?

[219] That's the thing about 4 -H is that people project this agricultural agenda into the, you know, but I grew up outside of the city, so we focused on community service.

[220] I started that club when I was eight years old, so from very early.

[221] on I was always like very busy doing stuff that's almost like a kind of like joining girl scouts yeah it's like girl scouts but girl scouts like suck and girl scouts are the enemy I'm a I think a misanthrope at heart my wife has opened my eyes to a lot of things and I now am way more available to help with things but certainly not in high school I could have given a shit about helping anybody so I'm just curious you were naturally drawn to helping people or you were drawn to someone being proud of you for having done that.

[222] I was just thrown in very early into a very intense club where my 4 -H leader was really, really hard on us.

[223] So it was just like what I did.

[224] We would have these project books that we would have to finish every year that were really insane.

[225] Like by the time I graduated high school, I racked up thousands and thousands of hours of community service.

[226] It was just like part of my life.

[227] And did you enjoy it?

[228] Yeah.

[229] Yeah.

[230] I still do.

[231] I went back to Delaware two weeks ago and did a community service project with the local 4 -H club.

[232] Really?

[233] So I think you're maybe just nice.

[234] I also grew up kind of like in a very, very Catholic kind of environment.

[235] My school that I went to, the motto is Servium, which means to serve in Latin.

[236] That was just my upbringing.

[237] You serve.

[238] You can help.

[239] And do you think in retrospect, are you grateful you went to an all -girls school?

[240] I imagine there's pros and cons to that?

[241] I mean, I liked it.

[242] It's not for everyone.

[243] Like my middle sister did not go to Ursulin.

[244] She decided to go the co -ed school.

[245] So you could have chosen.

[246] I could have chosen to go to the co -ed school.

[247] In Delaware, there's a lot of private schools because the public school system is kind of a wreck there.

[248] And so there's like a ton of private schools and different options and stuff.

[249] I went to Ursulin since fourth grade.

[250] And so like after middle school, it was like, you decide if you want to stay or if you want to leave.

[251] And I liked it.

[252] So I stayed.

[253] But Natalie didn't stay.

[254] Yeah.

[255] And then my other sister stayed.

[256] Right.

[257] And they were cool with that.

[258] that Bernardette and Dave.

[259] Oh, yeah.

[260] And Bernadette was a lawyer.

[261] She had you at 20 and she became a lawyer.

[262] She's a pretty impressive human being.

[263] Yeah, both of my parents came from like nothing that my dad grew up in like a pretty bad neighborhood in Philly and they, you know, they didn't have any money.

[264] And when I was born, you know, we lived in like a one bedroom apartment in that area and you know, my dad kind of Wolf of Wall Street style like got into like the stock market and stuff.

[265] He like didn't even graduate college.

[266] He became a trader and I mean that.

[267] as a stock trader.

[268] Yeah, like a stock.

[269] He works for Merrill Lynch.

[270] With a T .R .A. I, yeah.

[271] But he worked for Merrill Lynch.

[272] He works for Merrill Lynch still.

[273] I think that that mentality was like burned into my brain.

[274] You know, it's so weird as once you said Philly, I was like, Bradley, Cooper's from Philly.

[275] Yeah, we got Cooper.

[276] Yeah, yeah.

[277] And his dad worked for Merrill Lynch as well.

[278] Oh, I don't know.

[279] I'm just sitting here thinking, you guys have so much in common.

[280] But he became successful at that.

[281] Yeah.

[282] He, he, he, he.

[283] My dad?

[284] Yeah.

[285] Oh, yeah.

[286] He's crushing it.

[287] He's a real go -getter.

[288] He is.

[289] He's a charmer.

[290] Okay.

[291] He's a hustler.

[292] My mom has eight brothers and sisters.

[293] Oh, my goodness.

[294] When she was eight years old, her mom, my grandmother had like a mental breakdown.

[295] Uh -huh.

[296] And her dad died.

[297] And the five of them that were under 18 went to an orphanage in Newcastle, Delaware.

[298] And it was a very bad orphanage.

[299] It was run by these corrupt nuns that were very abusive.

[300] And it was a bad situation.

[301] And my mom's third grade teacher fell in love with my mom and wanted to adopt my mom, take her out of the orphanage, but my mom had four brothers and sisters with her and was like, I can't leave my brothers and sisters.

[302] So this woman, Dorothy, she adopted all five of them.

[303] No way.

[304] Yes.

[305] And then her and her husband had their own four biological kids.

[306] Oh my gosh.

[307] And so then they were nine again.

[308] And Dorothy was pregnant with her last biological kid when my mom was pregnant with me because my mom was so young.

[309] And so I was like raised by my parents obviously, but like also by my foster grandparents.

[310] So I was kind of like thrown into this.

[311] other kind of foster situation and my aunt bridget who's your age right but i'm a month older than her but we grew up kind of like sisters and i was kind of grew up in that household a lot uh -huh they were the ones that put me in the four -h program like it wasn't like my parents that did that it was like i got you you know because they were working and so my foster grandparents raised me a lot so i was kind of like grown in with all these like super irish catholic kids i went to competitive irish dancing lessons as a kid, but you know, I'm the only like...

[312] The Irish jig or the real?

[313] River dance.

[314] River dance.

[315] Competitive River dance.

[316] And you did it.

[317] Oh, yeah.

[318] Did you enjoy that?

[319] Sure.

[320] No?

[321] I don't know.

[322] I mean, I wasn't very good.

[323] It was a very strange kind of thing, you know, because I'd be like doing river dance and then I would go to like my dad's family and there'd be like salsa dancing in the kitchen.

[324] You know, those are very different kinds of dancing.

[325] River dance, you're not supposed to move your arms.

[326] It's a very like awkward.

[327] You just move your legs.

[328] And then I would go to these.

[329] competitions.

[330] They're called feshes.

[331] And I would wear like the traditional thing.

[332] And there'd be like leprechauns.

[333] And, you know, it's like, scared.

[334] Okay.

[335] So good.

[336] So Monica was nervous that the leprecha is a bit dicey for Irish people.

[337] Is that what it was?

[338] No, we were talking about a cultural appropriation on Cinco de Mayo, which I didn't really understand.

[339] I was like, are we appropriating on St. Patrick's Day?

[340] And I said, no, that's not appropriation.

[341] Because it's about lepracons, you said, which I don't know.

[342] I think everyone's still pretending they're Irish that day.

[343] Everyone's pretending to have the luck of the Irish.

[344] I don't know.

[345] When you would bounce back and forth between the Irish side and then dad's Puerto Rican family, were you drawn to one more than the other?

[346] I would say the Puerto Ricans were definitely more, I don't know.

[347] I'm very much like classic older child, very split down the middle, mom, dad.

[348] But I would say like I feel very connected to the Puerto Rican side.

[349] But I'm very Irish too.

[350] I mean, there's just a lot of alcohol on both sides.

[351] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[352] Now, back to the all girls high school, were you bummed out there?

[353] was no guys there.

[354] I actually liked not having guys there because it's just like a distraction, you know, but I think looking back on it now, it probably did color my interactions because guys to me were like thinking about one thing.

[355] You know, because like there was one class in the morning that you could take where we would swap with our brother's school.

[356] It was like AP English.

[357] Everyone wanted to get into that class because it was like guys in the class.

[358] I never got into that class.

[359] But, you know, I would walk in the hallway and look through the window.

[360] grab a little peek there they are yeah and like you know so i'm definitely like probably fucked up by then well zee i had one experience where i went with a friend who went to this school st mary's which was all boys catholic school my friend j rob he took me as a guest one day and when i was immediately uh struck by was that the dudes did not comb their hair they they hadn't showered Dudes farted in class openly.

[361] And without trying to be attractive to women, there was like nothing like bridling their behavior.

[362] Yeah.

[363] Which at one time was kind of cool.

[364] And then another time, like, this is a good yin and yang because look at these fucking slabs.

[365] Yeah.

[366] Shitting their pants in class and hitting each other.

[367] Brother school that I went to, I think they had a little more class.

[368] Okay.

[369] Then St. Mary's.

[370] Slazianum.

[371] It was a little more like.

[372] You know, if you were a Sally's guy, you were held up to a, you know, a kind of standard.

[373] Uh -huh.

[374] And it was called the Sally's guy?

[375] Well, Slazianum is the name of the school, but we would call him like Sally's.

[376] Do you know Neil Casey at all?

[377] He's a comedian writer.

[378] He's out here, but he was my best friend growing up, and he went to Sally's, and we grew up together.

[379] I would witness in my public high school that, like, girls that were super funny would sometimes store that in their locker when they were around, like, whatever guy they wanted to be around.

[380] as they downplayed that they were smart or they downplayed all these weird things.

[381] So in that respect, like, obviously I have two daughters and I think about like the value of either scenario.

[382] And one aspect feels like it seems like you'd be more readily to be yourself.

[383] If I had girls, I would totally consider sending them to an all -girls school.

[384] You would?

[385] Yeah, because I went to NYU for college and I went to film school, which at the time was very male -dominated as well.

[386] And then I did comedy, which is very male -dominated.

[387] I was always in these, like, very male -dominated environments after a graduate.

[388] And I always noticed in class, and these girls are, like, raising their hand.

[389] They're not.

[390] And I was always the outspoken one, just giving my opinions, when I was immediately labeled as this, like, bitch that, you know, saying what I thought about these guys, shitty short films that they were making or something.

[391] But I was just saying my opinion.

[392] I didn't care.

[393] But I did feel like, wow, I wonder if I had gone to, like, a different school, if I would be like them where I'd just not saying what I thought.

[394] Were you into comedy in high school in a way, that you actually thought, oh, I might want to do comedy as an adult.

[395] Yeah.

[396] You did?

[397] I was always watching Saturday Night Live.

[398] And then I would watch kids in the hall and like sketch comedy, Mr. Show, things like that.

[399] And then I figured out like, oh, these people came from improv background.

[400] And then I got really into like the Operate Citizen Brigade show.

[401] And so I started taking improv classes in high school.

[402] You did.

[403] The first improv class I ever took was in high school.

[404] It was in Philly.

[405] But it was like short form improv at comedy sports.

[406] Those more like games and stuff.

[407] Really quick.

[408] How close is Delaware to Philadelphia?

[409] Oh, it was like 20 minutes.

[410] Oh, it is?

[411] Yeah.

[412] Where I grew up, I was 25 minutes, like, south of Philly.

[413] So I was right on the border.

[414] And then so you were, what, like an hour and a half from New York City?

[415] By train, two hours drive.

[416] Oh, wow.

[417] In your mind, Monica, where is Delaware?

[418] Because I am really good at geography, I'd have to say, and I'm, to be honest.

[419] It's like nestled right, you know, under Jersey and Pennsylvania.

[420] How far from Maryland?

[421] Hour?

[422] Oh, my goodness.

[423] This is so centrally located.

[424] Oh, yeah.

[425] It's a great location.

[426] It is.

[427] Yeah.

[428] How far from the Poconos, if you wanted to go west?

[429] I don't know.

[430] Like the two hours, maybe?

[431] Oh, my goodness.

[432] Everything you'd want to do is within two hours.

[433] Wow.

[434] This is really something.

[435] Yeah.

[436] I'm really interested in Delaware now.

[437] Yeah.

[438] Okay, so you obviously would go to New York City and you would go to Philly.

[439] You would do these things.

[440] And you were like, yes, I want to be here.

[441] And I want to do comedy.

[442] And you took improv.

[443] Were you the only gal in high school taking improv at comedy sports?

[444] Yes.

[445] I'm sure I was.

[446] Yeah.

[447] Yeah.

[448] I mean, my graduating class was 42 girls.

[449] Okay.

[450] Was it adults taking those classes?

[451] Yeah.

[452] It was.

[453] Yeah.

[454] Was it weird?

[455] Yeah.

[456] My mind just goes to some of those first level classes that people are taking.

[457] And it's like the guy at the office maybe who has a whoopee cushion and he's like, I'm built for this.

[458] And then I imagine now that guy with like a 15 year old girl and I'm nervous because of improv.

[459] Yeah.

[460] You see where I'm going?

[461] Uh -huh.

[462] Yeah, was any of that happening?

[463] Yeah.

[464] Oh, boy.

[465] It was a lot of, like, I didn't have a really bad memory, but I do kind of remember there was a lot of, like, librarians who were trying to, like, find their voice.

[466] And, like, there was, like, people there for different reasons.

[467] I remember that going, like, wow, some of these adults, like, aren't actually even into comedy.

[468] They're, like, doing this as some kind of therapy.

[469] Yeah, yeah, like, as a way to some out of their shell or something, right?

[470] Yeah.

[471] And then, like, they had an improv group called the Rubber Chickens at University of Delaware.

[472] Once Neil went to college and I was still in high school, like, I would go down there.

[473] and like watch those improv shows and I'm like very aware of that stuff early on so me going to New York was definitely yes I wanted to go to film school but I was like I wanted to UCB now it's like there's something cool about knowing what you're into as you're defining who you are as an adult yeah feeling like you have a real purpose yeah I mean I'm so lucky that I had that that's the thing I think I feel sorry as for people they don't even know what they love yeah did you have boyfriends in high school mm -hmm you did yeah I mean not like that many Did you guys have a prom?

[474] We would have to invite people to our prom and then Sally's would invite this to their prom and then...

[475] Oh, so you probably, you'd probably hit up a couple proms.

[476] Multiple proms.

[477] Do you thrive in that scenario?

[478] I, um, I always was like doing weird shit at proms.

[479] I had a thing where I would dress up like Mary Woolstonecraft.

[480] Who's Mary Woolstonecraft?

[481] She's like the first feminist ever from England.

[482] She was like started feminism.

[483] I would have like weird obsessions with weird historical figures and then I would dress like them.

[484] and go, you know, I was always doing like kind of performance art -y things, like humiliating myself.

[485] Yeah.

[486] The public was like a theme growing up for me. And like proms I would treat as kind of jokes for my junior prom.

[487] I did a lot of community theater also that had nothing to do with my school.

[488] I met the Swedish exchange student there.

[489] And I was like, wouldn't it be so funny to take a Swedish guy to prom who can't speak English?

[490] And so I did that.

[491] But then I actually ended up falling in love with him.

[492] Oh, you did.

[493] Oh, wow.

[494] Who learned to speak which language?

[495] Did you learn Swedish or did he learn English?

[496] Both.

[497] Oh, a little mix of both.

[498] A little bit.

[499] Oh, no, he was very good at English by the time.

[500] Pram rolled around.

[501] Oh, okay.

[502] Was he seven feet tall and Viking looking?

[503] He wasn't seven feet tall, but he was stunningly gorgeous and he didn't know how hot he was because he was Swedish and I was definitely like, why is he into me?

[504] I am not up to this level at all.

[505] I had a very similar experience where I went to a Halloween party.

[506] we had the German exchange students at our school.

[507] And one of the German exchange students was like this six foot tall goddess.

[508] And all the guys in my school were obsessed with that girl.

[509] And I didn't even think, hey, I don't speak German.

[510] And we were at this Halloween party.

[511] And this gal found me in the fucking laundry room and got me up against the wall and started making out with me. And I was just blown away by the whole experience.

[512] And I thought, oh, for whatever reason, how she's looks not being perceived the same way it is in my high school.

[513] Yeah, no, I mean, Johann was like, oh, my God.

[514] He had no idea.

[515] No idea.

[516] Isn't that wonderful?

[517] And such a great sense of humor.

[518] I really click with the Scandinavian humor.

[519] Yeah.

[520] Very dry, very dark, twisted.

[521] Uh -huh.

[522] How long were you and Johan a thing?

[523] For like that entire year, kind of.

[524] Really?

[525] And he eventually went back to Sweden?

[526] Yeah, I have a whole, yeah.

[527] You have a whole, yeah.

[528] You have a whole, nothing.

[529] What?

[530] Oh, no. He's dead?

[531] No, he's alive.

[532] Okay.

[533] No, he's alive.

[534] It's alive.

[535] It's alive.

[536] It's alive.

[537] It's alive.

[538] It's alive.

[539] It's alive.

[540] It's.

[541] It's alive.

[542] It's alive.

[543] It's.

[544] It's It's a never -ending story with the Johan.

[545] It is.

[546] O 'Fond.

[547] It's not over.

[548] Well, sure.

[549] It's over.

[550] He's married and has two kids now.

[551] But once we found each other, he hated Delaware too.

[552] He was so bored.

[553] And, you know, I had a car.

[554] And once we hooked up, it was just like, oh, yeah, like, this is my summer, us driving into the woods and doing stuff in the woods.

[555] Yeah.

[556] Whirl sex in the woods.

[557] Oh, great.

[558] That's wonderful.

[559] Great summer.

[560] Yeah.

[561] I learned a lot.

[562] I learned a lot.

[563] My understanding that the Swedes are.

[564] heard this on Dan Savage's podcast, Savage Love.

[565] The Swedes allow teens to cohabitate.

[566] Yes, they do.

[567] They do.

[568] Well, because I, the next summer, I visited him in Sweden.

[569] At what age?

[570] Was 17, I think.

[571] Were your Catholic parents not a little worried about all this?

[572] I don't know why they let me go, but they did.

[573] The first thing I remember going there, his parents were like, and you will sleep with you on.

[574] And I was like, uh -huh.

[575] Yes, I will.

[576] And you will have oral sex with you on.

[577] And you'll sleep with you on.

[578] And I was like, okay.

[579] Sounds good.

[580] But my parents didn't know that.

[581] Please don't listen to them.

[582] Were you like a unicorn to them?

[583] His dad, Leonard.

[584] I just remember being in the house and I would like look down the hall and Leonard would be staring at me. Looked down the hall.

[585] The fantasy I've created is you're kind of like one of the Adams family members that showed up in Sweden.

[586] Yeah.

[587] Like their Viking son brought back.

[588] Yeah, it was like the dark Puerto Rican in the jungle.

[589] Yeah.

[590] Yeah.

[591] Yeah, this is so exciting for everyone involved.

[592] And they can drink, right?

[593] Could you like drink beer and stuff?

[594] I mean, I don't remember anything that happened that trip.

[595] I was so drunk and I just remember barfing multiple times, like, all the time.

[596] I hope it didn't impede the oral sex.

[597] That kept up, right?

[598] I want to hear more about the saga, the whole love story.

[599] Yeah, yeah, me too.

[600] The brief version is the saga is just this saga in my mind because we never technically broke up.

[601] It wasn't like a relationship where I was like, okay, and now we break up because we want to break up.

[602] It was more just, we just can't be together.

[603] We're kids and programs over.

[604] But that's tricky because there's no closure in that kind of.

[605] There's no closure.

[606] So 10 years later, I had this idea when I was on hiatus, Parks and Rec.

[607] I was like, maybe there's like a movie there.

[608] You know, it's like the one that got away.

[609] Like, what would have happened?

[610] Maybe Johan and I should still be together.

[611] Yeah.

[612] And I had just ended a relationship.

[613] And I was in an in -between state.

[614] So I was like, you know, fuck it.

[615] I'm going to go to Sweden and like see what's going on over there.

[616] Yeah.

[617] And I did.

[618] You did.

[619] Oh, yeah.

[620] Yeah.

[621] And he was already with the woman he now is married to.

[622] He had just moved in with a woman that he is now married to.

[623] This was a while ago.

[624] I don't know, Johan.

[625] I would be very stressed out if I were Johan.

[626] And you showed up.

[627] Yeah, and it was funny because I made an itinerary for myself and I was like, I'm going to go there and just write.

[628] It's going to be my own like, eat, pray, love kind of thing.

[629] And I was like, whether he's there or not, I'm going.

[630] At that time, there wasn't Instagram or I don't think there was Facebook, but he wasn't.

[631] really active on social media or anything.

[632] But he did have an account and I did send him a message and say, hey, I'm going to be passing through your hometown on a work trip.

[633] If you're there, I'd love to see you.

[634] But if not, no worries.

[635] I didn't hear from him until two days before I flew to Gothenburg, which is where he lived.

[636] And I didn't know that he was even there until two days before I went there.

[637] And he had looked at the message and said, like, oh, my God, I am still here.

[638] I can't believe it.

[639] I would love to see you.

[640] Let's go to dinner.

[641] And I was like, oh, my God, like the movies happening in your life.

[642] Yes.

[643] Yes.

[644] And so I went to Gothenburg.

[645] Yeah.

[646] And then I saw him.

[647] Well, the fucked up thing was that we didn't have that much communication.

[648] It was like very like brief text messages like, I will meet you at this time at this hotel, whatever.

[649] I had no idea what to expect.

[650] And then I came down into the lobby and he was standing there with a girl.

[651] And I was like, please be a sister, please be a sister.

[652] Because I remember he had a sister.

[653] And he's like, this is my girlfriend.

[654] And I was like.

[655] What a stand up guy.

[656] And she was like, what are you doing here in Sweden?

[657] And I was like, nothing.

[658] Nothing at all.

[659] But yeah, he really went through it.

[660] Had a real existential.

[661] Yes.

[662] I'd be so flattered that you're still thinking about me. That's really something.

[663] He's at a point where he's about to move in with a gal.

[664] He probably has his own anxiety about that.

[665] Oh, yeah.

[666] Oh, this is so.

[667] But he might have been thinking about her this whole time, too.

[668] That's what I think.

[669] I think that too.

[670] And also, can I add this element?

[671] You'll hate this element, but I'm going to add it anyways.

[672] You're an actress on a TV show at that point.

[673] Yes.

[674] Yes.

[675] Yes.

[676] Now, okay.

[677] So I have a similar story.

[678] So I met Jenny Hazleton in Killington, Vermont.

[679] We met in 11th grade.

[680] And she went back to England.

[681] I went back to Detroit.

[682] We wrote letters and everything.

[683] And then she fell in love with a rugby player.

[684] And then I went and hung out with her and the rugby player.

[685] And she chose so right.

[686] This guy was such a beautiful stud.

[687] But if she became a star and then just showed up in my hometown, that would throw me for a guy.

[688] God damn Lou.

[689] Yeah.

[690] At that point, I was on Parks and Rec, but no one was watching it.

[691] Our ratings were shit.

[692] Okay.

[693] In America, maybe I was, like, famous, but I wasn't, like, globally, you know.

[694] Right.

[695] What was funny is after I saw him on that trip, I took a train to Stockholm, and I went and saw the Amy Poller's brother who lives in Stockholm.

[696] And at the time, he was writing his TV show that he was going to shoot, and he wrote me into his show based on that trip.

[697] And so then I flew back to Sweden, like, two more times, to be honest.

[698] Swedish television show.

[699] Oh my goodness.

[700] The new girlfriend must have thought that you were orchestrating a full -on two -front war.

[701] And in that show, I played myself and I placed myself who is stalking someone in Sweden.

[702] Oh my.

[703] Yes.

[704] So it became this life really fucked up thing where I was like, well, if they didn't know I was an actress then, they know now because that show got the highest ratings in Sweden ever or something.

[705] Oh, wow.

[706] It was like the most.

[707] Oh my goodness.

[708] This man, you may have ruined his whole life.

[709] Ah, he's fine.

[710] He has kids now, though?

[711] He has two kids.

[712] That'll help.

[713] Are they cool in Sweden with a little hanky -panking on the side?

[714] Do you know?

[715] You know what's funny is like, I think that that is actually something that is like projected onto them culturally.

[716] In my experience, I find them the women anyway, a little more conservative.

[717] And maybe it's just me, but I always felt like their thing about American girls were like, we were like slutty or something.

[718] And like, I always thought like, oh, but like Sweden.

[719] girls are probably like having threesomes and all this stuff.

[720] Actually, I think I was looked at as the slutty one.

[721] Because Americans are writing stories about Swedish people being promiscuous.

[722] I think there's that, but I also think there's more sexual presentation here, which doesn't actually translate to more sex.

[723] So like every girl's wearing miniskirts in high school, it doesn't mean they're fucking.

[724] But if you're Swedish, it certainly has the appearance of being hypersexualized, even if it's not.

[725] I guess.

[726] The Swedish girls that I was around old.

[727] always felt to me like they were a little bit more actually conserved and more buttoned up or something.

[728] Right.

[729] What they are for sure is super progressive in Sweden.

[730] Yeah.

[731] And I guess I just, I associate relaxed stance on monogamy with progress.

[732] Right.

[733] Which is probably just my own.

[734] They also really like look down on weed.

[735] Oh, they do?

[736] Yeah.

[737] Oh.

[738] Weed is bad.

[739] Like shameful kind kind of.

[740] Oh.

[741] Which is interesting.

[742] It is.

[743] I only went to Sweden once.

[744] And it was about 18 years ago, 20 years ago.

[745] They had just enacted a bunch of legislation to try to curb alcohol consumption.

[746] So like vodka became very expensive.

[747] Like the taxes on vodka were outrageous.

[748] That in and of itself was like, I have this idea of what this place is.

[749] But obviously, if the government's having to do this, it's not utopia the way I'm imagining it.

[750] No. Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare.

[751] We've all been there.

[752] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[753] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[754] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[755] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[756] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[757] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[758] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[759] Prime members can listen early and add free on Amazon Music.

[760] What's up guys?

[761] It's your girl Kiki and my podcast is back with a new season and let me tell you it's too good.

[762] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest.

[763] Okay, every episode I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[764] And I don't mean just friends.

[765] I mean the likes of Amy Poehler, Kell Mitchell, Vivica Fox.

[766] The list goes on.

[767] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[768] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[769] I'm not even going to dance around this any longer.

[770] I'm going to come right at it.

[771] What?

[772] Have you seen the prestige?

[773] What's that about magic?

[774] Yeah, the movie about magicians.

[775] Christopher Nolan movie with Batman.

[776] Christian Bell.

[777] Christian Bell, the message of the movie was to be a perfect magician, you have to live the act.

[778] So the very best magicians, and Christian Bell was the best at this, he lived his stage persona through his whole life.

[779] And I've always had this feeling about you.

[780] I came to know you on Parks.

[781] You're super funny, incredibly, incredibly funny.

[782] Seen you in a bazillion talk shows.

[783] You're a great talk show guest.

[784] I've met you at restaurants and I thought, is she the character she is on TV and on talk shows, it's hard for me to navigate.

[785] I want to know, is there a side to you that is open and vulnerable or you're getting so mad at me. I am not.

[786] Or is, like, this story about Yohen is so sweet.

[787] I'm trying to imagine you being vulnerable enough to have taken that whole ride.

[788] I'm the most vulnerable.

[789] I'm a puddle.

[790] You are.

[791] I don't know what you're talking about.

[792] about.

[793] You know what your comedy voices.

[794] I'm like, triple cancer.

[795] Like, I can't cry enough.

[796] Okay.

[797] I'm so romantic.

[798] Are you?

[799] Oh, my God.

[800] I just don't show my cards.

[801] I don't even know how to do that.

[802] On talk shows, I don't even know what people are talking about.

[803] Literally, every time I do a talk show backstage, I'm like, this time I'm going to be normal.

[804] Uh -huh.

[805] Just happy.

[806] And I just blow it every time.

[807] I'm not like trying to, like, do anything for me. You got nervous when I said you're a great talk show, yes.

[808] you're objectively, you're a great talk show guest.

[809] You don't get to come back to Conan 20 times if you're not great.

[810] You don't go to Letterman in particular.

[811] You don't go several times unless you're great.

[812] But I always feel like with Letterman, I feel like he just wanted to talk about my medical problems because he was so obsessed with that.

[813] I'm super interested in it as well.

[814] And then with Conan, it's like, I think in my mind, I'm like, well, maybe early on I was just like so weird that people are just like waiting for me to say something or something.

[815] So then it's like this weird process that like feeds on itself because I'm like, I'm not doing on purpose.

[816] I don't know what people want for me. And then I'm like, well, you got to give them what they want.

[817] Sure.

[818] But what is it?

[819] And then I don't even know.

[820] The thing that I respect about you, I admire the confidence in bravery to be subtle, impatient.

[821] And let the thing build to when it's supposed to explode.

[822] I don't think I personally could handle that much downtime.

[823] I just don't give me so much credit because honestly, I just feel like.

[824] like up here, I am on the hamster wheel.

[825] It's just that I, I don't know what it is.

[826] I have like mini, um, well, you're going to say it, but that would have brought up your medical condition.

[827] Were you going to say mini strokes?

[828] No, I don't know.

[829] I'm like, silence is power.

[830] I don't know what it is.

[831] They're so unnatural those situations.

[832] But like, I have the same instinct too.

[833] I'm like, I got to be funny.

[834] Like, I come from a comedy background.

[835] So I'm like, if I'm not funny, I'm failing.

[836] And then I watch people like Tom Hanks and those people.

[837] I'm just like, they're so relaxed and comfortable.

[838] They don't give a shit about being funny.

[839] They're just themselves.

[840] Why can't I be like that?

[841] That's what I think about before I go on those shows.

[842] Right.

[843] Like, I genuinely am like, can I just relax and just be normal?

[844] Like, why do I have to be funny all the time?

[845] But I always feel bad about myself after.

[846] Oh, you do?

[847] Yes, always.

[848] Oh, my God, you're so good at it.

[849] No. Well, again, you're just going to have to defer to the facts.

[850] They keep inviting you back.

[851] So it's not like you're not in on the joke and they're having you repeatedly to laugh at you.

[852] They're not.

[853] Let's get her on here again.

[854] That's how I feel, though.

[855] I feel like every time is a setup.

[856] I feel like every time an opportunity for them to just wait for me to go off the rails, you know, but I will not drink and, you know, just keep my eye on the prize now.

[857] Yes.

[858] No one's going to get me. Right.

[859] Like, I understand that you're not an egomaniac, but also I want you to acknowledge your skill set, which is you're very consistently pulling the rabbit out of the hat.

[860] Even after that moment of awkwardness, you say the perfect thing.

[861] But I don't think it always works out for me. Sometimes I feel like it's awkward.

[862] Yeah, but don't you think that's kind of your special brand of comedy?

[863] I don't know what it is.

[864] Well, it's working and you are able to do it on command.

[865] All right.

[866] You get hired to do shit and then you deliver.

[867] Well, we'll see how Chuckie goes.

[868] Okay.

[869] Okay, so now when you started doing improv, did you have a similar comedic persona as you have now?

[870] No. You didn't.

[871] No, I was not known at UCBS, the sarcastic eye -roll.

[872] I was just doing character.

[873] like everybody else.

[874] Right.

[875] Well, your breakout role is Parks and Rack.

[876] You're very much that.

[877] The thing that solidified that first was a web series called The Jeannie Tate Show, which is this web series that Maggie Carey did with Liz Kikowsky.

[878] I met Maggie Carey in an improv class, and she was like, I'm doing this web series.

[879] I need someone that can play a teenager.

[880] And I was like 22 or something, maybe not even.

[881] So she cast me as this sulky teenager.

[882] Yeah.

[883] And the whole premise was that Jeannie Tate was a soccer mom that was running a talk show from her minivan while she was doing parents.

[884] And she would have real celebrities on.

[885] She had Bill Hater on as a guest.

[886] She had Rashida Jones on.

[887] She would like pick my character up from rehab.

[888] And I'd be like, I hate you, Mom.

[889] And like, Rashida Jones would be like, who's that?

[890] And I'd be like, fuck you.

[891] Like, whatever.

[892] That was the first time that I ever played a character like that.

[893] Yeah.

[894] And then, yeah, Parks.

[895] Really quick.

[896] What's the order of funny people in Parks?

[897] I got funny people first, but Parks ended up airing before funny people was released in theaters.

[898] The first movie I ever did was called Mystery Team, which was Donald Glover and his sketch group that was called Derek Comedy.

[899] I was a female lead in that independent feature film.

[900] Every comedian in that movie, it's bizarre.

[901] It's like this generation's of Wet Hot American Summer.

[902] Yes, totally.

[903] And while I was shooting that, I got the audition for funny people.

[904] So Donald helped me with my self -tape.

[905] He literally was like playing Seth's character and doing my lines.

[906] And that's how I got a chemistry read with Seth Rogen.

[907] Then I flew out to L .A. to do a chemistry read.

[908] Are you nervous as fuck at that?

[909] Yes.

[910] Well, basically I sent in the self -tape because I didn't even have an agent or anything.

[911] But then I heard like, oh, Jud really liked your tape, but he needs to see you do stand -up because the character is a stand -up comedian and they're going to be shooting stand -up shows.

[912] And like, it needs to be a person that's doing stand -up.

[913] And I was like, oh, great, yeah, I'll send in my stand -up tape.

[914] But I was not a stand -up comedian.

[915] So I pretended to do stand -up.

[916] I wrote like five minutes of stand -up and had someone film me at Donald Glover's open mic stand -up show in Queens.

[917] And then I sent that tape in.

[918] Like the first time I ever did stand -up, just sent that tape in.

[919] And then based on that, I got the chemistry read.

[920] Oh, my gosh.

[921] And then I came out to L .A. for one week.

[922] And while I was out here for that, and yes, I was so nervous, like beyond nervous.

[923] I hadn't really ever been to L .A. And then Allison Jones was casting that.

[924] And because she knew I was there for that, she was like, hey, do you mind if I send you on a couple other meetings while you're here?

[925] And I was like, no, I don't care.

[926] Like, whatever you want.

[927] Yeah.

[928] So then she sent me to meet Mike Scher and Greg Daniels on just like a general meeting because they hadn't even written the pilot for Parks yet.

[929] Uh -huh.

[930] And then she sent me to audition for Edgar Wright for Scott Pilgrim versus the world.

[931] This is not possible.

[932] It is possible.

[933] It's not possible.

[934] And then I got all three of them.

[935] That doesn't happen to any human beings.

[936] I know.

[937] Did it not feel insane?

[938] Well, no, because I didn't know how important these meetings were.

[939] Like, when I went to see Mike Scher and Greg Daniel, all I cared about at the time was like, oh, my God, I'm on the set of the office.

[940] And I would see, like, Mindy Kaling walk by or something.

[941] And I'd be like, oh, my God.

[942] And I was, like, wearing jean shorts.

[943] Like, I was like a tourist.

[944] Do you think maybe that was to your advantage?

[945] Of course.

[946] Yeah.

[947] You were a page right.

[948] at NBC?

[949] Yeah.

[950] I was an intern at SNL before I was a page for a season.

[951] I was an intern in the design department.

[952] I worked for the set designer.

[953] I was the only intern in my department because on SNL there's four set designers and they have one intern.

[954] Okay.

[955] And they're all insane these set designers.

[956] They had been there since the first show since 1975.

[957] Oh wow.

[958] These older dudes that are like grumpy and whatever.

[959] We were in like our bubble.

[960] They gave me a camera and they're like you have to go like during dress rehearsal and take photos of all the sets like document all this shit.

[961] I was like a ninja, you know, like lurking in the shadows.

[962] So I would watch everyone, but I didn't interact with any of the cats.

[963] I would have been so excited to have access to that stage I had stared at my whole life.

[964] It was the best time in my life.

[965] Well, it must have been.

[966] Oh, yeah.

[967] And I would get to go to the parties, you know, the after parties because they thought that I was an employee.

[968] Right.

[969] They didn't realize I was an intern because I looked at the official walking around at the camera kind of.

[970] Sure.

[971] So I would go to like the after parties and yeah, I was a black.

[972] And then I was a page after that after I graduated college.

[973] I had like one page friend.

[974] Her name was Meg Ryan.

[975] And she was in sleepless in Seattle.

[976] I just always like saying her full name because her name was Meg Ryan.

[977] But she she was like a weird kind of witchy freak like me. And we were both like the weird outcast.

[978] Because most of the pages were former sorority presidents.

[979] Right.

[980] That's kind of weird.

[981] I would think all the SNL pages and interns would be so.

[982] comedy like you know maybe the essay i just mean in the page program in general oh in general the page yeah when you're a page if you're like really good you get assignments and like the s and l assignment is like the coveted one sure i didn't even get an assignment if you don't get assignments you're just giving tours every hour oh of rockefeller yes so that's what i was doing giving tours i loved it it was like a performance it was like you know waiting tables which i did also a lot it's like every new tables a new opportunity for performance.

[983] Right.

[984] I treated it like that.

[985] Now, can I go back to Donald Glover for one second?

[986] Yeah.

[987] Because I think Monica and I's biggest shared obsession is probably...

[988] We want to get him on here so badly.

[989] He's our number one.

[990] Why?

[991] Well, I just think he's the coolest.

[992] I think Atlanta is such a great show.

[993] Like, maddeningly great.

[994] I'm jealous when I watch it.

[995] And then I watch This is America.

[996] And I'm like, oh, you're also sexy as fuck.

[997] You've got like the swagger of Lenny Krabbits.

[998] Oh, cool.

[999] You can rap.

[1000] really well the song's great it's directed perfectly it what a message all of it youngest writer on 30 rock you know all the accolades and seemingly not a piece of shit I love him when you were with him did you like did you have a sense that that capacity existed with him or do you just seem like an enthusiastic young kid into comedy like all of us you're not surprised at all you're not no he's a mega star you know we were in class at film school together I didn't know that did you ever kiss him together oh my god it's wonderful are you guys are you guys the same age?

[1001] Yeah, we are.

[1002] Oh, my God.

[1003] In case people didn't hear, yes, she kissed it.

[1004] Oh, I would love to kiss them.

[1005] You can see it in the movie screen.

[1006] On the movie screen?

[1007] Okay, okay.

[1008] We'll leave it at that.

[1009] I would have a crush on him.

[1010] Did you have a crush on him?

[1011] Yeah.

[1012] Yeah.

[1013] He's very charismatic.

[1014] Yeah, no, we've always loved each other.

[1015] Yeah, totally, totally.

[1016] I'm not ruling out you in 10 years popping over to whatever city he's living in.

[1017] I just feel like there might be an undercurrent of that.

[1018] I really like them.

[1019] I like them so much.

[1020] I like them too.

[1021] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1022] Because I think some people might...

[1023] Is he slow or like aggressively?

[1024] Does he make you like, does he just pause for one second before it happens so that you're dying?

[1025] So sexy.

[1026] I don't know.

[1027] No, your internship.

[1028] How did you get that?

[1029] You just applied?

[1030] Because I know people are like, you know.

[1031] It was like a really crazy story where I literally faxed my resume to like the number of the design department.

[1032] never heard anything, then the Friday of their season premiere show, I was in my apartment, in the East Village, doing nothing.

[1033] And I got a phone call from S &L and from the like coordinator from the design department.

[1034] And she was like, hi, we got your resume.

[1035] We just fired our intern and we really were looking for someone.

[1036] Are you available to come in an interview?

[1037] And I was like, yes.

[1038] And she was like, can you come now?

[1039] And I was like, yes.

[1040] So I got on the train and went up to 30 Rock.

[1041] And in a matter of like an hour, I was standing on Studio 8H and Ben Affleck was hosting this premiere.

[1042] And I was like staring at Ben Affleck going like, how the fuck did I get here?

[1043] And she interviewed me, walked me around.

[1044] It was like an scene out of a movie.

[1045] And then she was like, well, thank you so much for coming.

[1046] And I was like, thank you so much.

[1047] And then I left the 30 Rock building.

[1048] And while I walked out of the building, she called me again and went, so you're hired.

[1049] Would you come back now?

[1050] And I was like, yes, I will.

[1051] And then that was it.

[1052] And then you spent the night with Ben Affleck.

[1053] And then I spent the night with Ben Affleck.

[1054] And then I was there the whole season, 2004, 2005 season.

[1055] I believe it was the last season that Tina Fey was the head writer.

[1056] Oh, wow.

[1057] Golden era.

[1058] What a life.

[1059] It was crazy.

[1060] I never went to class.

[1061] I don't know how I graduated college.

[1062] I just stopped going to college.

[1063] I just was there all the time.

[1064] Now, you went to film school.

[1065] Were you on a director path?

[1066] Were you on an actor?

[1067] Yeah, I was on a directing, like writing path.

[1068] Because you wanted to be a performer now?

[1069] Yes, but when I was in high school, I had an acting coach in Philly who was like, don't study acting in college, study something else.

[1070] And I've always been really obsessed with movies.

[1071] I had like a Judy Garland obsession growing up.

[1072] So like I would kind of go back and forth from like comedies.

[1073] And then I would watch Judy Garland movies.

[1074] My taste was like all over the place.

[1075] But I worked at a video store called Classic Video.

[1076] Once I got the job there, that's when I was exposed to independent film.

[1077] I remember I started to see.

[1078] see independent films and go like, oh, this is like a whole thing.

[1079] Yeah.

[1080] It's like a vidiates type that it had that kind of collection.

[1081] It was smaller.

[1082] And the porn section was actually the largest section around.

[1083] And what were those interactions with those guys like?

[1084] They were so ashamed probably, right?

[1085] Oh, sorry.

[1086] There were women, man. It was interesting.

[1087] That was like the part of the job that was scary because I would have to go put the, you know, put the back in the room or the men or women.

[1088] But the fun thing was that I could look up in my system all the porn movies that people in my community were renting.

[1089] It was like when people buy condoms and they buy like gum and like they would buy like other movies and then just like throw another one in there.

[1090] Yeah.

[1091] But I can't imagine anything making me more uncomfortable than being like my age as an, you know, an adult male or the family going to grab a adult film and then having a teenage female check me out.

[1092] It would love it.

[1093] No, no, I would be, I would be so ashamed.

[1094] You like it.

[1095] You like it so much.

[1096] You want to go back in time and rent a porno from me. That's an interesting power dynamic that you can take this person who normally has the power in society, a white male.

[1097] You're a teen female.

[1098] And they're doing this activity that is intrinsically embarrassing.

[1099] And then the power shifts.

[1100] It does a 180.

[1101] I guess the covers to those DVDs were blank.

[1102] So it wasn't like they're sliding a thing that was like hard for.

[1103] Yeah, like I, you know, but I knew what it was.

[1104] So it was like, no, I was just as embarrassed as they were.

[1105] You didn't sense the power shift?

[1106] No, because it was creepy.

[1107] Now I as a young man would pop my head in there.

[1108] There was a curtain in my town video store.

[1109] I mean, it's very shaming.

[1110] I mean, just the fact that you've got to enter this.

[1111] Yeah.

[1112] Yeah, and I would.

[1113] I remember what it smelled like too.

[1114] I just remember that.

[1115] Not, no, sorry.

[1116] No, no, no, no, of course not.

[1117] It's not a coin operated.

[1118] No, it just was like a carpet smell.

[1119] Anyway.

[1120] I would pop in there and then I'd be in there, which was fantastic.

[1121] I would like glance at all the covers.

[1122] And then I'd have a panic about exiting.

[1123] I'm like, oh, someone going to be standing right there.

[1124] It was a whole thing.

[1125] It was like a big part of my.

[1126] Psychological.

[1127] Yeah.

[1128] There's a lot going on.

[1129] Yeah.

[1130] Kids don't have to do that anymore or people.

[1131] Right, right.

[1132] They don't have to worry about that.

[1133] No, it's like for hymns.

[1134] It's just all in the privacy of your own computer.

[1135] Last question on it, I promise.

[1136] Did you think you ever observed someone coming in for a porno, saw you?

[1137] It was like, fuck this.

[1138] Yes.

[1139] Oh, multiple times.

[1140] Multiple times.

[1141] Like a family member or a friend of a family?

[1142] Not people that I knew, but some people are just checking out.

[1143] I could tell.

[1144] Yes.

[1145] 100 % I could tell.

[1146] Well, what you see it in, as you pointed out, it's very similar to buying condoms.

[1147] I'll see kids crossing that area like four times confused.

[1148] and I'm like, I buy this fucking kid some rubbers or something.

[1149] Yeah.

[1150] I never minded doing that.

[1151] But I got a bang out of, like your thing about going to the prom with the fucking Swedish guy.

[1152] You like causing.

[1153] I did.

[1154] Now we would call it an interruptor.

[1155] Is that the new term?

[1156] I was just going to say that.

[1157] Yeah.

[1158] So I would like to be an interruptor.

[1159] Yeah.

[1160] For people to be like going, hmm, I've not had this experience.

[1161] And now I'm going to see something new.

[1162] I think maybe that was my ultimate goal.

[1163] It's like, yes.

[1164] You're going to see someone break out of their pattern and have to deal with this really bizarre situation.

[1165] Yes.

[1166] Like my ex -girlfriend and I in high school, Carrie, we'd go into a 7 -Eleven and we would get in screaming matches and 7 -Eleven and then she would storm out and I'd yell at her.

[1167] And like, what we were really saying is that we were like involved in an abusive relationship.

[1168] Yeah.

[1169] I did that all the time.

[1170] You did.

[1171] Oh my God, yes.

[1172] Yes.

[1173] We would have really gotten along.

[1174] Yeah.

[1175] Why did we want to do that?

[1176] Because you just feel alive.

[1177] It's like, you're like, hello, we're all going to die.

[1178] What are we doing here?

[1179] We're animals.

[1180] were human?

[1181] Like, what is this?

[1182] Yeah, we have clothes on.

[1183] Why isn't exactly normal about this?

[1184] Yes.

[1185] Like, why are we pretending this is normal?

[1186] There was that for me. And then there was also, too, I was, I was very obsessed with which of all these rules do I actually have to follow?

[1187] That was a big preoccupation of mine.

[1188] Because when you're 12, you're like, oh, you do this, this.

[1189] And then you start getting older and you kind of start breaking some of these rules.

[1190] And you're like, oh, maybe I'm not going to do it this way.

[1191] Maybe I'm not going to go to college.

[1192] Maybe I'm not going to.

[1193] I was just playing with what rules are real.

[1194] And so I liked going.

[1195] raising a ruckus to find out, like, was that the limit?

[1196] I mean, I still think about things like in that way.

[1197] And sometimes I have to remind myself, hey, break out of the, break some rules, you know.

[1198] Pay attention a little bit.

[1199] Yeah.

[1200] Can I say something really gross I used to do with Kristen?

[1201] We'd be on a walk.

[1202] And if I had gas, I'd walk ahead of her, like 30 feet.

[1203] And as I would cross someone walking, I would fart as loud as I could so that she could observe their reaction.

[1204] That's romantic.

[1205] That's so sweet.

[1206] She loved it I loved it I'll even argue the person who heard the fart loved it because they didn't smell it They were moving and I was moving But it's funny when you hear a human being Fart loud Everyone gets nervous It's a high pressure situation I don't know I think it's like a sweet thing That you want to make her laugh But I'm not really into farting No well most people aren't again Which is why it's so funny To watch someone else's reaction having heard a very loud public fart.

[1207] Nick Offerman and Chris Pratt would fart so loud and so much when we were shooting Parks and Rec, and it would make me and Amy so angry.

[1208] Really?

[1209] Yeah, because we both feel the same way where we were always like, we don't think it's funny.

[1210] Right, right, right, right.

[1211] But, like, it was funny, but maybe because I didn't grow up with, like, guys in my class.

[1212] Right, and it just wasn't, like, a thing.

[1213] And so, but, man, they would just do that all the time.

[1214] Yeah.

[1215] So, yeah, speaking of like a Donald Glover, you were on Parks with Chris Pratt, and then he became this massive, massive, massive movie star.

[1216] I know.

[1217] How crazy is that?

[1218] I can't believe it.

[1219] Yeah.

[1220] How do I say this?

[1221] I wouldn't have predicted it not because I don't think he's hyper talented.

[1222] I just would have thought, oh, he's too nice to be.

[1223] Like, I just felt like maybe you've got to be a dick to be a mega movie star in some way.

[1224] There's like a levels, you know, don't you feel like the ones that are really?

[1225] really, really mega, are actually, like, nice.

[1226] Sometimes there's, like, another, like, level below that where it's, like, you're mega famous, but you're, like, a dick.

[1227] If you're, like, Hank's or Clooney or something, you're, like, in another level because it's, like, actually, that's the thing.

[1228] Yes, and then you be nice.

[1229] You can be very benevolent at all times.

[1230] Yeah.

[1231] And it's, like, people are drawn to that.

[1232] I just think if you're an asshole, you can only get so far.

[1233] If you're like an actor, you're on a show and a movie or whatever, you're affecting people's lives.

[1234] Like your energy all got to be groovy, man. Like those things are spiritual experiences, at least in my opinion.

[1235] It's like you've got to treat it sacred.

[1236] It's like we're all doing this together.

[1237] Yes.

[1238] I felt compelled to go back to the fart thing for a second.

[1239] Don't do it.

[1240] Do we need to do?

[1241] Only, only, I wanted to clarify one thing.

[1242] I actually could never, ever do what Chris and Nick.

[1243] Nick.

[1244] Nick did.

[1245] Like, fart while you're working?

[1246] I could never fart at my work.

[1247] I would be so embarrassed.

[1248] I want everyone at work to think I'm cute and attractive.

[1249] Well, I mean, I would say like that didn't start until like, you know, season six.

[1250] Okay.

[1251] Like, it wasn't like right away.

[1252] They're like blasting us.

[1253] Okay.

[1254] But like, I just wanted to be clear that like I can do that in front of a complete stranger walking down the street that I hope I'll never see again.

[1255] I understand.

[1256] Monica and I have been friends for five and a half.

[1257] years now and I just the other day farted for the first time in front of her and I only because I was almost certain it was going to be a cute sounding one in odorless yeah he says he can tell before they happen whether they're odorless or not I can have a pretty good sense of it yeah yeah special quality you think having kids makes you like more open to like farting I was always obsessed with poop and farts and all that I understand okay sorry I'll get off of it now I didn't mean to do all that I just wanted to clarify that I would not fart at work.

[1258] So you're safe to work with me if you ever want to.

[1259] Moving on.

[1260] Okay.

[1261] So you had a stroke.

[1262] The girlfriend I was just talking about that we would have fights at 7 -Eleven.

[1263] She had a stroke too.

[1264] How old was she?

[1265] She was probably 38.

[1266] And she was like kind of getting ready and she was getting more and more confused.

[1267] And it was, there was like a long period of being confused before she even put together.

[1268] And I think she called someone who could recognize something was going on.

[1269] Oh, God.

[1270] What a fucking anxiety.

[1271] Well, what happened to me. me was like a little bit more obvious that there was something wrong because I was living in Queens.

[1272] I was in Astoria.

[1273] I was going over to my friend's apartment to like have lunch with them or something.

[1274] And I had barely gotten in the door talking about how I'd taken my younger sister to a Hillary Duff concert the night before.

[1275] That's sweet of you.

[1276] I remember talking about Hillary Duff.

[1277] And in mid sentence, I like looked down and my right side of my body was paralyzed, but I didn't realize that my brain was like telling me the signal of.

[1278] Like that is not your arm.

[1279] It is not attached to you.

[1280] If you're paralyzed, it's not like a numbing sensation.

[1281] I would imagine it to feel numb.

[1282] It doesn't feel like anything.

[1283] Your brain is just not computing that that's your arm.

[1284] Yeah.

[1285] So I was like, whose arm is that?

[1286] And all of a sudden, my arm looked very long and, like, alien -like to me, where I was just like, what is that?

[1287] And I started, like, hitting myself.

[1288] I remember that.

[1289] And then, like, all of a sudden I kind of, like, blacked out for, like, a second.

[1290] And then, like, the sound got, like, weird.

[1291] And then when I was, like, conscious again, I couldn't speak because the blood clot was in my language center in my left temporal lobe.

[1292] And so I had expressive aphasia, which is where I forgot language, but I could understand it.

[1293] I just couldn't, like, respond.

[1294] So then my friends thought I was doing a bit because I was always doing bits.

[1295] Sure.

[1296] They were like.

[1297] You're very funny.

[1298] Like, stop it.

[1299] I remember putting my hands to my throat and going like, oh.

[1300] I'm making like a weird sound.

[1301] You're right.

[1302] This is the worst thing that can happen to a comedian because everyone's assuming.

[1303] Yeah.

[1304] As we just said, we're interrupters.

[1305] So like, oh, here we go.

[1306] She's going to fucking interrupt this lunch party.

[1307] Yeah, that was like the most terrifying part is just people didn't know something was wrong with me. And then they kept going, should we call an ambulance?

[1308] And I was conscious.

[1309] Like, that's a weird thing about having a stroke is like you know it's happening.

[1310] You're watching it go down.

[1311] Yeah.

[1312] Which is like the weird trippy part of it.

[1313] Yeah.

[1314] So, like, I knew what was happening, but at the same time, I was like, I can't talk.

[1315] I don't know why.

[1316] And they were like, should we call an ambulance?

[1317] And I was shaking my head, yes.

[1318] And then the paramedics got there, and they're asking me all these questions.

[1319] And, of course, I can't answer any questions.

[1320] And they think, what drugs are you on?

[1321] What drugs are you on?

[1322] What are you on?

[1323] Yeah, 100%.

[1324] I thought I was on drugs and I was lying.

[1325] What did I take?

[1326] What did I take?

[1327] And how long before you regained your ability to talk?

[1328] I was saying certain words.

[1329] I would say the wrong words.

[1330] They would ask me, what's the last thing you ate?

[1331] I knew the answer was yogurt.

[1332] but I couldn't say it so it would take me a long time and then like maybe half an hour later I'd be like yogurt Oh my gosh And by that time they were like Why do you want yogurt?

[1333] Why are you saying you?

[1334] You know, and so like at the time I was dating Someone that was like five years older than me And it was like relatively new relationship And he came to the hospital to see me And I was 20 and the doctor was asking me how old I was And the only number I could remember to say was 16 And I kept going to 16 And my boyfriend at the time was going like Are you 16?

[1335] I didn't understand.

[1336] Are you 16?

[1337] And I was like, 16.

[1338] And he was like, Aubrey, like, what is happening?

[1339] Like, you know, like, it was, there were funny things that happened.

[1340] But, yeah, I was like, so fucked up.

[1341] There's nothing scarier than your brain being broken.

[1342] I know.

[1343] I'm scared every day.

[1344] Because having a stroke is, like, being hit by, like, a bus.

[1345] There wasn't warning signs, you know?

[1346] It wasn't like, well, I might get a stroke because of this.

[1347] Happened out of nowhere.

[1348] And a stroke is just you have a clot somewhere in your body, and it makes its way up at your blood.

[1349] right?

[1350] And then it ends up clogging a part of your brain.

[1351] I know.

[1352] Why can't they test for that?

[1353] Well, I think people have clots all the time, but they don't migrate normally, right?

[1354] Yeah, I don't know.

[1355] They can not figure out.

[1356] And like, I am still on the kind of investigative journey of trying to figure out what's wrong with me because I still, last week, went to a new doctor who did like some kind of weird Eastern test on me with these gel screen things and he told me like you have blockages in your ventricles in your heart that's why you couldn't get strokes and I'm like excuse me I'm gonna go get like my heart tested now because this guy told me but it's like I've been through this for years where it's like I've been tested for everything I don't know like look at me I'm fine yeah but can you ever regain just fearless confidence of being alive right once that's happened you must always fear that it could happen unexpectedly right there's a underlying sense of I have like unresolved trauma at all times which is like also something I've been working on recently but I think also it has made me maybe like in a unconscious way kind of feel well you know I could die at any moment so like let's just not sweat the small stuff sometimes I try to like that makes me sound a little more enlightened than I actually am there so pre -stroke at 20 did it did it alter your personality like introducing that level of uncertainty about your own health so manzukas do you know jason manzukas so he has this crazy fucking egg allergy right like life -threatening egg allergy kissed a girl who drank a fucking drink that had some egg in it right and i'm like what did you and you went to europe like he went to europe to study music for two years i'm like my i if i had that kind of allergy i feel like I'd be afraid to leave my house where I don't know if there's eggs and shit.

[1357] And he was like, yeah.

[1358] Yeah, I'm like a hypochondriac as a result of it, but it's legit.

[1359] Yeah.

[1360] So attractive.

[1361] It is right.

[1362] Yeah.

[1363] I love it so much.

[1364] It really is.

[1365] I'm just like, God, people that are just all wound up.

[1366] Uh -huh.

[1367] Yeah.

[1368] Did you have like actors that you love guys?

[1369] Like, Monica's are Ben and Matt that's are forever.

[1370] Long time.

[1371] Yeah.

[1372] Did you have like guys when you were in.

[1373] high school that you wanted to grow up and marry?

[1374] No, I was always, like, attracted to, like, the dad.

[1375] The dad.

[1376] Okay.

[1377] Okay.

[1378] The older guy.

[1379] Like Mike Severs.

[1380] Like Bill Pullman and Casper.

[1381] Oh, okay.

[1382] Wow.

[1383] That's kind of hot.

[1384] I like that.

[1385] Yeah.

[1386] Me too.

[1387] I was like, Devon saw no. Uh -huh.

[1388] Anyway, let's get back to the egg thing.

[1389] No, I really.

[1390] Okay.

[1391] Okay.

[1392] So there's so many layers to trauma, right?

[1393] So it's the event itself.

[1394] And then just on top of it, it really shapes your worldview, which is like, oh, good, noted, this is an option as I move through life for the rest of my life.

[1395] And that, I think, is the most profound aspect of it.

[1396] But again, I don't feel like I'm any more enlightened, like I said earlier than anyone else.

[1397] But, like, I do think that it must inform me in some way.

[1398] But, and it also, I think, just makes me have many more, like, issues that I have to, like, just like anxiety.

[1399] Yeah.

[1400] You know, like, I never, Like before that, I never had, like, panic attacks.

[1401] And, like, after that, I, like, legitimately had PTSD, you know, on medication.

[1402] Like, I'd be in the subway and feel something weird, like a tingling sensation in my finger.

[1403] And I'd be like, I'm dead.

[1404] Oh, I've convinced myself I'm having a stroke at least a dozen times and I've never actually had one.

[1405] So if you added in that I really had had one, even while you were describing it, I was like, oh, is that what happened to me at the beach that time in Santa Barbara?

[1406] I thought I got sung by a jellyfish movie.

[1407] It was a stroke.

[1408] No, I thought, I almost had a stroke on Jay Leno.

[1409] I think the first or second time I ever did Jay Leno, I'm pretty sure I had a mini stroke.

[1410] Really?

[1411] During the interview.

[1412] Yes, I got really confused.

[1413] And, like, I think people thought I was kidding.

[1414] Sure.

[1415] I feel like you need a bracelet and a button where you can go, like, this shit's for real.

[1416] Right.

[1417] I know.

[1418] Well, like, nothing funny bracelet.

[1419] I forget to do this, but, like, I do sometimes have to do a thing where I'm like, and just so everyone knows, like, in the hair makeup trailer, like, I have a stroke.

[1420] history if I'm acting confused or something taking me in the hospital it'd be like if you had seizures if you had epilepsy you'd like me to tell people ahead of time and like you know doctors are basically like since I was 20 they were like you have to be really careful about dehydration oh okay like you cannot be dehydrated and like you have to take a really good care of yourself you have to treat your body like an old person and like my reaction to like any rules and stuff like that is just doesn't go down well right so like that's a constant thing for me where I'm like You're, like, rebelling against your own health?

[1421] 100%.

[1422] I'm like, well, fuck it.

[1423] If you had to say how often you'll think about it, is it once a week, once a day, once an hour, once a month?

[1424] Maybe once a week.

[1425] I don't think about it every day anymore.

[1426] I used to, but I don't.

[1427] Yeah.

[1428] But that one was the most severe situation you had.

[1429] But then you had one a couple years ago as well?

[1430] Yeah, I had a mini stroke when I was on parks.

[1431] And I was like, and that happened on set.

[1432] I was like in rehearsal.

[1433] And I was holding my sides And I looked down and I couldn't read the sides And I got really confused and then panicky And then it was like am I having panic attack or a stroke?

[1434] I don't know And then I went to the hospital and I had like a mini TIA Which is like a tiny little stroke But it was in a vein in the back of my neck So it wasn't arterial But it was like a tiny little one Uh huh No idea why But also it's crazy because if you hadn't had that stroke history, they probably wouldn't have even checked.

[1435] They would have just said you had a panic attack.

[1436] Yes.

[1437] Like that's what, because I always feel like stuff's happening, but then it's just panic attacks.

[1438] And like maybe it is, but maybe it's not.

[1439] I don't know.

[1440] But then the only thing about like strokes and like that stuff is like they can't do anything about it.

[1441] Well, that's like that.

[1442] That was going to be my anecdote to that thought, which is it doesn't even matter.

[1443] It doesn't matter.

[1444] Because you can't prepare for it.

[1445] I guess that's true.

[1446] But at least you know you're right about the feelings in your body.

[1447] And you can do prevent it, you know, like.

[1448] Like, technically, like, I should be, like, on baby aspirin every day.

[1449] Right.

[1450] And, like, maybe I'm not so good about that.

[1451] Right.

[1452] Right.

[1453] Yeah.

[1454] I'd like to see you on that baby.

[1455] Yeah, let's get you on that baby.

[1456] I don't know.

[1457] Sometimes I don't want to.

[1458] That's right, girl.

[1459] I just want to see what happens.

[1460] Okay.

[1461] So one thing I was curious about, because you kind of just alluded to it, which is you started by playing that high schooler.

[1462] The character you played on Parks and Rec, did you come in with it?

[1463] Or is it something you insured to develop together?

[1464] Did he go like, oh, I want the person to be this way?

[1465] And, like, how did that?

[1466] From what I remember, and Mike sure could tell this story differently.

[1467] But from what I remember, he kind of like loosely pitched me the premise of the pilot.

[1468] Again, it hadn't been written yet.

[1469] He knew what Amy's character was.

[1470] He knew where it was taking place.

[1471] And he said something along the lines of like, and we think she's going to have like an assistant that's going to be a ditsy assistant or whatever.

[1472] And at the time, I had just come off of like doing shit for like calls.

[1473] college credit and all that stuff.

[1474] And I pitched to him like, well, maybe it should be like an intern or someone that's actually really smart and really good at their job, but doesn't give a fuck about anything that is happening and hates everyone and doesn't care, but just has to do it for college credit.

[1475] I remember having that conversation.

[1476] And then I just remember Greg Daniels coming in and like all the sudden we started talking about like the meaning of life.

[1477] And that's what I remember is like Frank Daniels and I were like talking about like, well, what does make you happy?

[1478] And I was like, I don't know.

[1479] Like, we just got into like a whole other conversation.

[1480] And then Mike was just like sitting at the desk, like watching the two of us and then that was it.

[1481] And then someone called me and they were like, so you're in this show.

[1482] You didn't even have to audition.

[1483] Oh, wow.

[1484] They wrote the original characters was named Aubrey.

[1485] I have the pilot script where the character's name is Aubrey.

[1486] And then when everything started going in production, they changed it.

[1487] it to April.

[1488] And then because I was an unknown actor, the network did make me go in and go on tape.

[1489] But I essentially was auditioning to play myself.

[1490] Right.

[1491] Because it was written for me. So it was a very easy audition.

[1492] Right.

[1493] Although that could almost be more nerve -wracking to me. So I'm like, oh, geez, I have this.

[1494] Watch me go lose this.

[1495] When Parks ended, because I was on parenthood for six years, virtually the exact same time you were on Parks for six years.

[1496] And when it ended, I kind of thought, well, probably never be on a show, like, that's this lovely to go to this many nice people that I am so happy to say the words on.

[1497] Like, I had a real awareness, probably as good as it's going to get.

[1498] What was your thought when that ended?

[1499] Well, I feel like one of the reasons why that show was such a great experience was because for some reason, I think we're all always so aware of how good we had it.

[1500] Like, just because we had such a good time.

[1501] He just had a blast So everyone was so funny Like that's the thing I was so fucking spoiled Now I'm like Every job I get I'm like Where's the funny person Because it was just Anywhere you looked Your fucking laugh You know what I mean And so It was one of the best cast Of all time Yeah so we just We're so spoiled But like like Amy And Nick Especially We're such good leaders And we're such good Like mommy and daddies That would always Remind us Like Offerman I think is wise Beyond his years In so many ways but, like, you know, it was my first show.

[1502] It was all I knew.

[1503] So, like, I didn't know.

[1504] And, like, after a couple seasons, like, of course, like, I'd start complaining about stupid shit or whatever.

[1505] And you'd be like, you should remember that this is the best it's ever going to be.

[1506] Yeah.

[1507] And I'd be like, shut up.

[1508] You know, but then I would be like, all right, fine, you're right.

[1509] It was like we were kids that had the best parenting.

[1510] Yeah.

[1511] For me, like, the challenge there was always just like, it's so easy on television to just go on autopilot, you know?

[1512] And, like, I think that that was also the other thing.

[1513] about it.

[1514] I was so happy to play that character and let it evolve.

[1515] But the minute we would go on a hiatus, I was like, I got to have to do like another character.

[1516] I have to do a movie.

[1517] I have to freak out.

[1518] Right.

[1519] Were you afraid that that was the only thing you were ever going to get hired to play?

[1520] Of course.

[1521] Like not in a like way that I'm not grateful for.

[1522] I am so grateful for this opportunity.

[1523] But yes, I was like, this isn't all I can do.

[1524] Because that show is the first thing that aired before funny people, but also funny people and Scott Pilgrim, it was like they were all in the same zone of like sarcastic like female comedian whatever at that time but like for me it was more like funny people I'm not saying this like officially in any way but like I knew that the character I was playing was based off with Janine Garoflo like I just knew and Janine Garoflo was the first stand -up comedian I ever saw live I saw when I was a teenager in Allentown.

[1525] I love her I was obsessed with her still am I love her but I was doing a thing I wasn't just like going like here I am and this is like I'm just so weird or whatever.

[1526] Yeah.

[1527] Like, it was purposeful.

[1528] But isn't the ego the trickiest thing in the world, though, because I have had all those same thoughts, obsessions, overarching, like, fear that I'm not going to navigate it right or set myself up for the next thing correctly, all the things, right?

[1529] I'm now at a vantage point where I'm like, who gives a fuck?

[1530] But man, I was like, you know, just riddled with fear that I'd be doing it wrong or, well, now I got to do something dramatic.

[1531] I got to do it really quick because I've done four comedies.

[1532] in a row.

[1533] If I don't do it, I'll never get to do it.

[1534] Like, all that pressure to be doing it perfectly.

[1535] Well, what's the end game?

[1536] It's like, when you really think about it, you're like, what am I gunning for here?

[1537] Like, okay, maybe there was a time at which it was like, you know, am I going to have some like breakout thing where it's like all of a sudden I'm on the cover of Vogue magazine?

[1538] I guess that's the thing that is in the back of minds as like actors or something.

[1539] But like, I'm with you at a certain point.

[1540] You're just like, what is the fucking goal here?

[1541] And then when I really think about the people that I really respect and love, it's always the people that are flying under the radar and doing whatever the fuck they want to do and doing their own shit.

[1542] Well, I think it's very much human nature to go like, oh, get employed.

[1543] Great.

[1544] Oh, okay.

[1545] So you just, you can't not go, well, what's next?

[1546] Part of it's ego.

[1547] Part of it's just like you're supposed to be making forward progress.

[1548] But it's hard not to get in that trap.

[1549] 100%.

[1550] I hosted the Independent Spirit Awards this year.

[1551] And I had so many moments like in the days leading up to that show where I was like, what the fuck am I doing this for?

[1552] Why did I do this?

[1553] Why am I putting myself through this?

[1554] By the way, I had a blast and I loved it so much, but it was so stressful.

[1555] And the moments before going on stage, and it's like, and we're live in nine, eight, seven.

[1556] I literally was like, had an out -of -body experience where I was like, Aubrey, you need to relax.

[1557] You need to stop putting yourself through this.

[1558] Like, you're going to die.

[1559] But then I realize, like, man, I just love to torture myself.

[1560] Just we're all going to die.

[1561] So you end up on Legion, though.

[1562] Yeah.

[1563] I'd say Fargo's my favorite show, beginning to end those three seasons.

[1564] Noah Hawley is clearly some kind of mad genius.

[1565] Oh, I went in and met with him and the casting director, and I thought that...

[1566] Before the pilot was made.

[1567] Before the pilot was made.

[1568] And I thought I was meeting, there was a lead girl, the Sid Barrett part, and then the lead guy.

[1569] And I thought I was going to meet on the lead girl part.

[1570] Right.

[1571] And then after that initial meeting, it was like...

[1572] I thought, am I going to audition?

[1573] Is that the next step?

[1574] Then I met with him again.

[1575] He wanted to have coffee with me. And then I met with him again.

[1576] And then at that coffee meeting, he was like, what do you think about the part of Lenny Busker?

[1577] Which in the pilot was written as like a middle -aged man. So of course, I read the pilot thinking of that part.

[1578] And I'm like, what part are you talking about a middle -aged drug addict in the mental institution?

[1579] He's like, yes.

[1580] And I'm like, oh, so that's the part you think I'd be good at.

[1581] Okay.

[1582] Kind of cool of him, though, right?

[1583] To be that flexible is something you created.

[1584] Because generally, like, when I write stuff, I get fixed on some thing.

[1585] Yeah.

[1586] I've never switched a role.

[1587] Like, oh, maybe that should be.

[1588] Swapsed genders.

[1589] Yeah.

[1590] It's a very now thing to do.

[1591] Yeah.

[1592] It's probably smart.

[1593] Yeah, he was, you know, also at the time I had just gotten knee surgery.

[1594] So I was, like, on crutches.

[1595] I looked, like, probably like I had a drug problem because I did.

[1596] And so I looked insane probably.

[1597] Yeah.

[1598] So then he pitched me that idea.

[1599] And I was like, I don't know if I want to do that.

[1600] And then he was like, but the character becomes the villain of the show.

[1601] The character turns into this psychic mutant villain called the Shadow King.

[1602] And I was like, sign me up.

[1603] Now you've got my attention.

[1604] I was an hour late to that meeting also, by the way, to Noah.

[1605] Oh, wow.

[1606] I was an hour late to a Noah Holly coffee.

[1607] Wow.

[1608] Because I had like gotten in an Uber and I was going to Brent.

[1609] I was a mess.

[1610] And he's still hired.

[1611] Do you know how much he likes you that he, if, someone was an hour late to a meeting with me to talk about working together, that'd be a pretty big red flag to me. Can you believe that?

[1612] I was horrified.

[1613] I had never been later to a meeting in my life.

[1614] And it was like, this is not the one I should be late to.

[1615] I'm pretty sure of that.

[1616] Now, I'm embarrassed to say I haven't watched the show.

[1617] But people fucking love Legion.

[1618] But I was like, supernatural.

[1619] I'm a little nervous about there's a superhero aspect.

[1620] Yeah, but that's really not.

[1621] I mean, it's in the background.

[1622] It's so, if you like drugs.

[1623] I fucking love drugs.

[1624] You're going to love it.

[1625] Oh, great.

[1626] It's a trip, man. You know, it's a real experience.

[1627] It's not linear.

[1628] It's like a psychological kind of trip.

[1629] Right.

[1630] You know?

[1631] And like Noah at the originally, when we talked about it, was always like, it's a three -season show.

[1632] It's not the kind of show that was ever intended to like go on and on and on.

[1633] It's got a beginning, a middle, and an end.

[1634] Right.

[1635] And man, does it end?

[1636] Oh, really?

[1637] Really?

[1638] A big spectacular.

[1639] Oh, yeah.

[1640] Oh, wow.

[1641] How do you feel about drugs?

[1642] Do you like drugs?

[1643] Yeah.

[1644] You do?

[1645] Oh, good.

[1646] I love them.

[1647] You know, I had to quit, but I...

[1648] Oh, yeah.

[1649] Yeah, but I, boy, did I enjoy them.

[1650] Yeah.

[1651] You read Michael Pollan's book?

[1652] Yeah.

[1653] Well, not really like the whole thing.

[1654] I haven't read any of it, but I heard him on Tim Ferriss's podcast, and I feel like I know what it's about.

[1655] And I did a tremendous amount of mushrooms in my day.

[1656] Oh, yeah.

[1657] I'm really into those.

[1658] Aren't they fantastic?

[1659] I've been trying to convince Monica to do it.

[1660] You would actually You might help her because I think you have some level of anxiety, right?

[1661] Yeah, and you're comfortable with it, right?

[1662] Yeah, I think like I wasn't for a long time I was always scared of things like that But I do think if you create an environment Where, you know, and you do it at the comfort level that you're at For me, it's like once you feel what it feels like You're like, oh, the problem for me is I feel what it feels like And I'm like, I wanted more, more, more, all more.

[1663] So that's my journey.

[1664] So we seem similar then.

[1665] Anything I'm enjoying in life, anything, I refuse to let it end.

[1666] Yeah.

[1667] How about drinking?

[1668] How are you with drinking?

[1669] Yeah, I can't.

[1670] You don't drink.

[1671] I don't, not right now.

[1672] Not by total choice.

[1673] Okay, great.

[1674] More by ultimatum.

[1675] Okay, great.

[1676] Great.

[1677] So Jeff, who you've been with for.

[1678] what eight years now um yeah yeah you guys have done two movies together three three he's done three movies i've been all of his movies oh okay but joshy i was a very small part in life after beth was his first movie then joshy then little hours so i've found when talking to people who are couples and do the same job it's generally one or the other like christen and i love to work together in fact we get along better when we're working together than in any other situation wow how is it for you I would say not quite that experience.

[1679] But you keep doing it, so it must be...

[1680] Yeah, no, no. You know, our dynamic was different on every movie.

[1681] Like Life After Beth was different because it was his first movie.

[1682] And there was a script, you know, with actual dialogue.

[1683] The last two movies he did, there was no script.

[1684] Oh, really?

[1685] Yes, both of those movies were fully improvised.

[1686] Oh, wow.

[1687] Of course, he had written, like, a very elaborate, like, treatment and stuff.

[1688] But, like, most people don't know that, that there was no script.

[1689] So it's just a different working kind of.

[1690] of dynamic then it's inherently more collaborative yes he has this kind of like altman kind of approach where it's like he wants to create an environment that is spontaneous just by nature because no one really does know what they're going to say but also he'll kind of tell you what to say sure and it has to have been influenced a bit by the fact that he and david o russell work together yes because i went and saw bradley while you're shooting silver lining's playbook oh what was that like oh my god First, let me say that David is one of my very favorite directors of all time.

[1691] I worship him.

[1692] Okay.

[1693] I'm on set for 40 minutes watching him directed.

[1694] I'm like, I personally couldn't be in one of these movies.

[1695] As much as I love him.

[1696] Just give me an example what he does.

[1697] So you're Robert De Niro and you're acting and you have lines.

[1698] He's like, ah, no, no, no, sneeze.

[1699] No, no, say, no, get up, stand up, stone.

[1700] Like, you're rolling.

[1701] He's behind the monitors and he's just screaming nonstop.

[1702] Now, stand up.

[1703] Now walk across the room.

[1704] No, grab that.

[1705] book grab a book grab a book and it's like it's so in your grill which i don't do well when people are in my grill like but he's he's committed to that thing and there's no better performances than david or else will movies like there's just not a bad performance so it's like there's so clearly a justified method to it and i respect the hell out of it but my own insecurities would have a very hard time in that environment do you have a preferred method of being talked to i love being directed Yes, but I'm sick.

[1706] Like, I don't, it's like I get myself in a situations that are kind of like, you know, kind of torturous or abusive.

[1707] And I'm kind of like, yeah, like, hurt me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1708] I have that like tendency where I'm just like, I'll do anything.

[1709] Right.

[1710] I'll prove to you.

[1711] I'll just do it.

[1712] Yeah.

[1713] So I'm all over the place.

[1714] Okay.

[1715] I just want to be pushed around and shut up against the wall.

[1716] Sure, sure, sure.

[1717] Shamed.

[1718] Humiliated.

[1719] Humiliated.

[1720] Embarrassed.

[1721] It's the only time.

[1722] I feel alive when I'm humiliated.

[1723] You should join like one of these S &M clubs.

[1724] We just learned about it.

[1725] It's so fascinating.

[1726] Yeah, there's like whole communities where everyone's sort of on board.

[1727] What we didn't know is that the dominatrix, the Dom, in the relationship, is actually following a script.

[1728] They're actually the submissive one, weirdly, because the submissive one makes all the rules.

[1729] I know about that.

[1730] Yeah.

[1731] We did not.

[1732] It was so fascinating.

[1733] I spent some time with the Dominatrix who crucifies wealthy businessmen in her garage.

[1734] And it's the same dynamic where the guy that's paying to be crucified is usually, you know, some Texas oil tycoon or whatever.

[1735] And like they're in charge of this scenario.

[1736] But so it's like the Dom is following their kind of rules, you know.

[1737] So it is an interesting.

[1738] BDSM, I think.

[1739] BDSM.

[1740] Do you care about money?

[1741] What does that mean?

[1742] I grew up without money.

[1743] I'm very obsessed with money.

[1744] And I got to have a nest egg so I feel safe.

[1745] No, I have to remind myself to like.

[1746] like buy new clothes.

[1747] Okay, that's, I think that's the healthy approach.

[1748] It could be, but, you know, it's, there's a fine line.

[1749] But money doesn't make you horny.

[1750] No, in fact, success scares me. You know, that like rejection and failure feels more kind of comfortable.

[1751] Do you know that you and Adam have this kind of in common Pally?

[1752] Who's Adam?

[1753] Oh, Pally.

[1754] Yeah.

[1755] Yeah, he's got my number.

[1756] He's one of my favorite people we've talked to here.

[1757] And I just was so fascinated with his, like, perverse.

[1758] euphoria with bombing.

[1759] I know.

[1760] He's sick.

[1761] I feel the same way.

[1762] Yes.

[1763] I want to see you guys like publicly humiliate yourself in some capacity.

[1764] Yeah, no, we will.

[1765] We will.

[1766] We've talked about many versions of that.

[1767] So Legion, when does that come out?

[1768] June 24th.

[1769] June 24th.

[1770] I think June 24th.

[1771] So Child's play, the original Chucky remake comes out when?

[1772] June 21st.

[1773] June's a very, very busy.

[1774] me also my birthday month right you're gonna i can do it 35 you're gonna turn 35 yeah it's exciting yeah um well listen i was not blowing smoke up your ass i'd love seeing you on talk shows i think you're so funny on parks and we're gonna consume legion yeah we are okay i'm really grateful and excited that you came in and talked to us does this feel like the independent spirit ords were like you didn't want to come but on your way home you'd be like that wasn't terrible yeah and then i think like what's my purpose What is the point of all this?

[1775] I just give and I give and I give and I give and I get nothing in return.

[1776] Right.

[1777] And I like it that way.

[1778] Good.

[1779] Well, Aubrey Plaza, thank you so much for coming and I look forward to talking to you again.

[1780] And now my favorite part of the show, the fact check with my soulmate Monica Padman.

[1781] Should we talk about it?

[1782] Your show premiered last night.

[1783] Well, yes, it did.

[1784] Well, it premiered four nights ago.

[1785] Oops.

[1786] We need a term for our fake timeline, like real -time, fake time.

[1787] Okay, F -T -R -T.

[1788] Yeah, or broadcast time.

[1789] What got really confusing was Wabi -Wab's birthday, which in real life was yesterday.

[1790] Yeah.

[1791] But in airtime was five days ago.

[1792] And when we recorded it, it was three days in the future.

[1793] Yeah.

[1794] Ooh, we're really playing with time in a beautiful way.

[1795] It's almost like Inception.

[1796] I love Inception.

[1797] Yeah, the way they're bouncing back and forth between the future.

[1798] future, the past, and the Prezzi.

[1799] Yeah.

[1800] Also, I just want to say, we're in a hotel room in Birmingham, Michigan.

[1801] Yeah, we're on vacation.

[1802] This is the scene of Justin Long's abduction.

[1803] This is where he was staying.

[1804] No. In this room?

[1805] In your room.

[1806] I could feel some kinky vibes.

[1807] Yeah.

[1808] This is where he limped back to.

[1809] This is a nice area.

[1810] Well, he didn't start here.

[1811] He started elsewhere.

[1812] Well, like, he went out to a bar.

[1813] Well, I can't even remember.

[1814] I don't know if he even said where the bar was, but I'm guessing more towards Furndale, Royal Oak, where it's a little more lively.

[1815] Okay.

[1816] Yeah, that's where.

[1817] A little more colorful?

[1818] Yes, exactly.

[1819] And not in a race way.

[1820] Oh, no. Okay.

[1821] So we're here in the Great Lakes date.

[1822] Yeah.

[1823] Monica, this is your first time to Michigan.

[1824] It was light out when you landed yesterday?

[1825] Yeah.

[1826] It was raining, though.

[1827] It was all when you, your seasonal effect of it is.

[1828] I had a little bit.

[1829] of my sad.

[1830] But I didn't because we were on vacation.

[1831] Well, also, Wabiwob, do you get this?

[1832] Like, when it's rainy and it's warm out, to me, that's a 10 of like euphoria of nostalgia.

[1833] Because it's only, when it rains in California, it's freezing.

[1834] Yeah, that's true.

[1835] But in the Midwest, or I don't know, probably lots of places in the country.

[1836] Yeah, it rains yet it's still warm out.

[1837] I do like that.

[1838] Yeah.

[1839] Summer rains are good.

[1840] Oh, summer rain makes me feel good.

[1841] It's actually summer breeze.

[1842] Yeah, I know.

[1843] I actually knew that one.

[1844] You did.

[1845] Yeah, I did.

[1846] Seals and Crofts is the original writer.

[1847] But Isley Brothers did a whatever you call it.

[1848] A redo?

[1849] A cover.

[1850] I like redo.

[1851] Yeah, they did a redo and it's so funky and delicious.

[1852] Ooh.

[1853] I kind of want to open up the blinds.

[1854] Okay, yeah, yeah.

[1855] I can do that.

[1856] I have plenty of cable here.

[1857] Oh, I agree.

[1858] So you can get a nice little look at downtown Birmingham.

[1859] And this is the Ritzie area of Michigan.

[1860] Do you know this?

[1861] I could tell.

[1862] I mean, it's fancy over.

[1863] Well, we're right on the border of Bloomfield Hills, which you've heard me talk about before.

[1864] That's where all the rich, rich people.

[1865] That's where you would live if you lived here.

[1866] Oh.

[1867] The old, old money in Detroit originally was Gross Point because it borders Detroit.

[1868] It's almost worth a drive down there.

[1869] Okay.

[1870] The most stark transition from city to crazy beautiful suburbs, it's insane.

[1871] Wow.

[1872] One corner, there are burnt out buildings, and then the next corner there's like 13 ,000 square foot, 100 -year -old mansions.

[1873] Really?

[1874] It's the most dark transition I've ever seen in the country.

[1875] Wow.

[1876] It is like a mere hundred feet between the lowest income and the highest income.

[1877] Oof.

[1878] Yeah, it could be the cover of a broken ladder.

[1879] Wow.

[1880] My favorite book about income and quality.

[1881] God, you know these names so well.

[1882] I really only know Keith Payne.

[1883] So listen, yesterday I was at Newark Airport for six and one half hours waiting on my delayed flight.

[1884] I know, rough.

[1885] And so I listened to Dr. Alex.

[1886] And it really brightened my day.

[1887] She was so wonderful.

[1888] So wonderful.

[1889] I loved her.

[1890] Me too.

[1891] Oh, well, I'll likely.

[1892] Should we marry her?

[1893] I would love to.

[1894] Okay.

[1895] Because she was explaining her tantric approach to sexuality.

[1896] It sounded nice.

[1897] It did.

[1898] And also scary.

[1899] When she talked about all that staring into one another's eyes, I was like, that's intense.

[1900] Yeah.

[1901] Actually, I just had this revelation the other day.

[1902] I was in a meeting with somebody.

[1903] And I realized I'm very.

[1904] bad it's looking at people's face.

[1905] Oh, really?

[1906] Yeah, which I didn't think was a problem of mine, but I was having to tell myself, just look at her.

[1907] Oh, right, right, right.

[1908] So really quick, Monica took some general meetings around town with people.

[1909] It's the most potentially awkward hour of small chat.

[1910] And so you had a little apprehension about going, but they turned out well.

[1911] Yeah, they turned out well.

[1912] And one was at the Peacock Network.

[1913] Okay, NBC.

[1914] Yeah.

[1915] And I was waiting and there's all these posters up.

[1916] Oh, friends.

[1917] Yes, one of them was friends.

[1918] And I feel like I'm at this point a little bit jaded by everything.

[1919] Like, I'm on that lot constantly.

[1920] Right.

[1921] That's where they shoot the good place.

[1922] So I'm there a lot.

[1923] Well, on your 100th time driving into a place, although I don't want to hijack your story, but I will say my favorite thing about working at parenthood for six years was I actually, every time I drove through the gates of Universal, in my head, I was like, Hollywood.

[1924] Oh, wow.

[1925] Yeah, it just felt so historically Hollywoody.

[1926] Yes.

[1927] And I was like, I drive to work at a studio lot every day.

[1928] I really never lost the gratitude for it.

[1929] That's so nice.

[1930] I wonder if the reason it's faded out a little bit for me is because I'm not.

[1931] Going to your trailer to be a star of a show.

[1932] 100%.

[1933] Yeah, that might be why.

[1934] It's still very.

[1935] It's so cool.

[1936] Anyway, I was sitting.

[1937] I was waiting.

[1938] There was all these posters of all these NBC shows, and there was a friend's one.

[1939] And I did have a moment of, oh, my God.

[1940] This is so cool.

[1941] It is.

[1942] Was Courtney Cox roughly your age when she got friends?

[1943] Probably.

[1944] Maybe a little bit.

[1945] You could still be on friends.

[1946] That's why I said in my meeting.

[1947] You did.

[1948] Yeah, I said I still want that.

[1949] I still the goal.

[1950] Uh -huh.

[1951] Yeah.

[1952] Who are we talking about today?

[1953] Aubrey Plaza.

[1954] Oh, Aubrey Pleza.

[1955] So you were explaining to her misophonia.

[1956] Mm -hmm.

[1957] And then she said misophiliaoma.

[1958] Oh, that's that thing I love on 16 Minutes.

[1959] Right, but no one really knew what it was.

[1960] Right.

[1961] And you don't love it because it is a type of cancer.

[1962] Okay.

[1963] Well, I don't love it.

[1964] I just, I collect these names from 60 Minutes commercials because they're all for old people.

[1965] Right.

[1966] Minal cackle pneumonia, whatever the hell that one is.

[1967] There's like a specific pneumonia.

[1968] Noomoccal pneumonia.

[1969] Oh, that sounds, yeah, yeah.

[1970] They're always selling some product related to pneumoccal mononia.

[1971] Okay, it's actually mesothelioma, the type of cancer that develops from a thin layer of tissue that covers many of the internal organs known as the mesothelioma.

[1972] Othelium.

[1973] The most common area affected is the lining of the lungs and chest wall.

[1974] Less commonly, the lining of the abdomen, the sac surrounding the heart, or the sacs surrounding the testes.

[1975] Okay.

[1976] That's just the sack.

[1977] They didn't need to say the testes.

[1978] They could have just said, or the sack.

[1979] Well, maybe they wanted to say the testes.

[1980] Yeah, perhaps.

[1981] No, there's a sack around the heart.

[1982] They had to say.

[1983] Yes, I have a friend who has extreme inflammation of that sack.

[1984] Yeah.

[1985] So they're either going to have to.

[1986] cut that sack and remove it, which they're trying to avoid because they have to break open his chest.

[1987] So at any rate, yes, I know someone with an inflamed sack around the heart.

[1988] Yikes.

[1989] Not testicle sack.

[1990] See, this is why you have to differentiate.

[1991] You can't just say sack.

[1992] Well, no, if he had just said sack, I go, oh, wow, your scrotum is inflamed.

[1993] But there's multiple sacks.

[1994] There are, but in my opinion, the OS, the original sack is the scrotum.

[1995] That's such a male point of view.

[1996] Housing the test.

[1997] Oh, y 'allie.

[1998] Listen, if you heard a guy go, oh, my fucking sack is just, where do you, where are you going to immediately?

[1999] You're going to his ball bag.

[2000] Clearly, if they can feel it.

[2001] Sack is just a colloquial term.

[2002] Oh, yeah?

[2003] I think.

[2004] Oh, you mean it's not medical.

[2005] Yeah.

[2006] Although you just read testicle sac.

[2007] Okay.

[2008] The sacks surrounding the testes.

[2009] So not even the scrotum.

[2010] Correct.

[2011] Yeah, there's a layer in between the scrotum and the testum.

[2012] I wish we called it testum.

[2013] Oh, okay.

[2014] Yeah, Testa.

[2015] We can call it that year.

[2016] Testa and test them.

[2017] Okay.

[2018] There's so many medical issues.

[2019] It's crazy.

[2020] Like Aubrey's stroke.

[2021] Yeah, I mean, just when you started explaining that the sac around the lungs could be cancerous, I was like, oh, that's what's going out with my lungs.

[2022] That's why I cough nonstop and clear my.

[2023] Remember when you thought you were not very high on the hypochondria scale?

[2024] Well.

[2025] I think you're the exact same as me. You do?

[2026] Yeah.

[2027] All right.

[2028] I think we're both eight.

[2029] I would, I concede to the fact that I'm probably not the best person to evaluate how high I am on the spectrum.

[2030] But I will just say, I have a chronic lung condition that I've had.

[2031] Absolutely.

[2032] Where I've been airlifted and I have had inhalers.

[2033] Yeah, yeah.

[2034] You know, it is consistent in lifelong.

[2035] Yeah.

[2036] That's absolutely true.

[2037] And things are happening when I have issues.

[2038] I'm not just waking up and saying, I am going to have a heart attack today.

[2039] But, but, but, don't get angry at me. Okay.

[2040] But you peed the bed once.

[2041] So if I had coughed once and I told you that I had mesothelioma, you'd be like, come on, guy.

[2042] Cough for a few years and then tell me. So if you peed the bed every night since February, then I'd start being like, yeah, you have a condition.

[2043] First of all, coughing is not the same as involuntarily peeing when you're 31.

[2044] I'd argue it's almost identical.

[2045] No. It's expressing some foreign material, some refuse, some flotsam and jetsam.

[2046] Coughing is normal.

[2047] Well, look, they're both involuntary.

[2048] Yeah, but I coughed five minutes ago and I don't have any problems with my lungs.

[2049] You might have mesothelialial.

[2050] I don't think I do.

[2051] I feel pretty confident about my lungs.

[2052] I'm just telling you coughing's normal for people who have no issues.

[2053] Yes, but coughing every day, most of the day, your whole life is.

[2054] abnormal.

[2055] I'm not saying, you're not hearing me. I'm not saying that your thing is fine.

[2056] I'm saying you can't equate things that happen normally, like sneezing and coughing to a random event that does not happen.

[2057] Hold on.

[2058] Do you not think Nocturnal Piddle is common?

[2059] Not for me?

[2060] Not for you, but for America.

[2061] I don't think it's common for adults to do that.

[2062] I don't it's not like normal nocturnal pittle yes nocturnal piddle is not normal it's not normal and there were other things associated with it what if that you went to the doctor I had a stroke okay well hold on what if you went to the doctor and he said he came in with your chart and he had done all your lab work and everything and he said okay miss padman I have diagnosed that the nocturnal pittal was acute and not a chronic nocturnal pittal and he just kept saying nocturnal pittal would you get i guess horny is though the word um no okay no i don't think i would no oh sorry not to jump too far back in the timeline but um we did get several comments on the instagram feed hashtag dolphin asparagus okay i think they just wanted to be fun and funny i appreciate that i shouldn't say that look maybe it's true yeah my mouth the shedding.

[2063] Oh, I'd feel bad for you, but do you see the fucking stye in my eye?

[2064] I mean, my life, my face is falling on.

[2065] I don't see it, actually.

[2066] Okay, it's huge.

[2067] It's right here.

[2068] It's driving me bonkers.

[2069] Listen, I was in New York for four days doing every talk show they'd let me on, hosting the Today show, and all the while, skins just molting.

[2070] Stye in my eye, nocturnal pittle.

[2071] It was a real beating.

[2072] I understand.

[2073] I'm just complaining.

[2074] You know what, life's great.

[2075] I know.

[2076] I just want you to know something.

[2077] I want you to hear something.

[2078] Okay.

[2079] Just because you have some stuff happening and you do, I'm not taking that away.

[2080] It doesn't mean you shouldn't feel bad for my lining.

[2081] You're absolutely right.

[2082] You're right.

[2083] That was narcissistic and self -centered.

[2084] Okay, I just wanted to call it out.

[2085] I heard your lip peeled.

[2086] In my mind, I was like, I'd kill for a little lip peel right now versus full.

[2087] dermis, rejectus.

[2088] But listen, that was, it was not sympathetic or caring.

[2089] I'm really sorry your lips peeling.

[2090] I don't really care.

[2091] It's just happening currently so I can feel it.

[2092] Right.

[2093] I think it might be my toothpaste.

[2094] Oh, a whitening toothpaste?

[2095] You're one of the only people I know that probably wouldn't benefit from a whitening toothpaste.

[2096] Your teeth are so white.

[2097] Thank you.

[2098] Yeah.

[2099] If they're getting even whiter, they might be translucent.

[2100] Oh, I kind of like that.

[2101] That'd be gross if you smiled and always saw as the tongue in your tongue resting in the back of your uvula banging around back there.

[2102] But it's chicken or the egg, you know?

[2103] It's like maybe they're white because of my toothpaste.

[2104] Yeah, true.

[2105] We don't know.

[2106] Oh, also, fat clarification.

[2107] YM magazine was not Young Miss. Oh.

[2108] It was young and modern.

[2109] Oh.

[2110] That was pointed out to me on Sochmead.

[2111] Got it.

[2112] Okay.

[2113] Okay, so first of all, you said that Aubrey and I are similar and that we're both brats.

[2114] Mm -hmm.

[2115] And that is not factual.

[2116] Oh, okay.

[2117] Okay.

[2118] She's not?

[2119] I'm not.

[2120] I can't speak for her.

[2121] I don't know what her life is like.

[2122] I'm only talking about your childhood household.

[2123] You're a brat.

[2124] Yeah, I am a brat there.

[2125] That I can admit to, but not in other areas of life.

[2126] No. Do you think so?

[2127] Well, not like your childhood home, no. Okay, so but what other ways am I a brat?

[2128] I'd like to know so I could work on it.

[2129] I just think a sign for me that you truly love me and mom is that you feel comfortable being a brat sometimes to us.

[2130] Like, Gwen, I need an example.

[2131] Are you sure it's not just me matching your bradiness or her brattiness?

[2132] No, like, there's been a few times you've, I don't want to say, it would be too strong to say you stormed out of the house after Katan.

[2133] But you definitely, like, made a real quick departure.

[2134] Sure, I have done that.

[2135] Where it kind of resembled you going to your room a little bit.

[2136] And I did get suspicious.

[2137] You had your ear to the window on the backside of the house.

[2138] Okay.

[2139] Yes or no?

[2140] Yeah.

[2141] Oh, okay.

[2142] But I don't do that just because I lost.

[2143] No, I know.

[2144] That would be braddy.

[2145] If I lost the game and was like, oh, I'm upset about this.

[2146] And then I stormed off.

[2147] Right.

[2148] I storm out because you've done something horrible to me. Yeah.

[2149] Yeah.

[2150] And I guess how are we defining brat?

[2151] I just think sticking around and airing your complaint, talking it out would be one approach.

[2152] And then storming off would be another approach.

[2153] I would just label storming off is kind of the defining characteristic of bradiness.

[2154] Okay.

[2155] Also, sometimes talking to you in that state is not an option.

[2156] Right.

[2157] So I don't make you more upset.

[2158] Yeah, or we're in a fight.

[2159] So what are we going to do?

[2160] Just keep fighting and fighting.

[2161] There's no point.

[2162] I might as well leave and then we'll discuss it tomorrow.

[2163] That's probably a great strategy.

[2164] I guess I should say it next time.

[2165] I'm leaving now and we can finish this conversation tomorrow.

[2166] Uh -huh.

[2167] Maybe I'll start that.

[2168] Okay.

[2169] If it happens again.

[2170] All right.

[2171] It will.

[2172] It will.

[2173] It might happen today.

[2174] Yeah.

[2175] Okay.

[2176] So 4 -H clubs, she said people project an.

[2177] agricultural motive on it often like that's where people's brains go and they hear four age that's where your brain went absolutely it's still going there despite what she said oh really yeah okay so the reason that is is because the organization is administered by the national institute of food and agriculture of the united states department of agriculture okay it's a pretty big check in the category except yes and no because she's right it's a youth organization whose mission is aging youth to reach their fullest potential while advancing the field of youth development.

[2178] On a farm.

[2179] No. Oh, it doesn't say on a farm.

[2180] No. Its name is in reference to the occurrence of the initial letter, H4 times in the organization's original motto, head, heart, hands, and health.

[2181] So it is all -encompassing.

[2182] They just happen to be the ones pushing in.

[2183] That's how you measure a horse's height in hands.

[2184] Okay.

[2185] So that hands may mean horse height.

[2186] Okay.

[2187] So one element is.

[2188] It sounds like there's some stereotypes happening and she doesn't like it.

[2189] Yeah.

[2190] You know, there are certain stereotypes I feel bad about.

[2191] And then this one, I just don't feel that bad about that if you're in 4 -H and people are mistakenly confusing you with an agricultural organization, boo -hoo a little bit.

[2192] Okay.

[2193] All right.

[2194] I don't want to minimize anyone's plight.

[2195] That's true.

[2196] But I also agree.

[2197] It's not a big deal.

[2198] Okay, okay.

[2199] Imagine we were in 4 -H.

[2200] And I'm like, oh, these motherfuckers.

[2201] Everyone thinks we're fucking over here, plucking chickens, fucking planting seed.

[2202] Yeah.

[2203] Bullshit.

[2204] People want to feel like that.

[2205] I mean, it's a victimhood.

[2206] Well, I'm just coming to this real time, and I've never thought about that.

[2207] This is a new thought.

[2208] Oh, my God.

[2209] We should have a sound effect.

[2210] Everyone recognizes the power of story that our brains are so hardwired for story because it's how we passed on culture and information long before writing.

[2211] Oral tradition.

[2212] Oral tradition.

[2213] And so Joseph Campbell, there's all these people who've studied story and the power of myth, right?

[2214] So because our brains innately work in the shape of story, if there is an adversary, which is these people confusing them with agriculturists or horticulturist, it's how your brain works.

[2215] Okay, so now there's an adversary.

[2216] I'm the hero of my story.

[2217] You know, there's odds against me. Obstacles.

[2218] Now I have something to pass on.

[2219] Like it has to almost end up in the body.

[2220] in shape of a story for you to even repeat it.

[2221] You just go like, I'm in 4 -H and everyone totally understands what 4 -H is.

[2222] That's not a story.

[2223] Right.

[2224] The story is I'm in 4 -H, and these evil people are confusing us.

[2225] Agriculturist.

[2226] Yes.

[2227] And so now there's a story.

[2228] I think that's a good theory.

[2229] I think that's a very nice new thing -dang -dang -dang.

[2230] Ding -ding -ding -ding.

[2231] New theory.

[2232] What's more impressive, my scientific breakthrough about snapping your fingers or this?

[2233] fingers should i unveil it or should i try to patent it first i don't think you can patent that so you can't discover okay so i was trying to teach my six -year -old how to snap her fingers and she was doing it yet it was not making a noise she's like daddy why isn't it working and i'm like and i'm staring at and thinking why isn't it working because her fingertips are clicking yeah they're doing the right thing so i start doing it over and over again i really start monitoring what's going on.

[2234] And what I discover, which I think is a really huge advancement for science, is the sound is coming from your middle finger hitting the palm of your hand.

[2235] It's not coming from the friction between the thumb and middle finger.

[2236] And the way you can test this is put some tissue or a thin layer of fabric on the palm of your hand, snap your fingers, and it will no longer make the noise.

[2237] Or I can even put my finger in between there and it stops making the noise.

[2238] And I unveiled this discovery at the Hansen's house and there was about 12 of us.

[2239] Yep.

[2240] Everyone was equally excited as I was when I made the discovery.

[2241] Yes.

[2242] Everyone was pretty amazed.

[2243] And then we got really excited to ask Laura Moses who knows most things.

[2244] She's very, very smart.

[2245] She's smart and she does lots of crosswords.

[2246] So she's learned.

[2247] And I'll say, unlike me, she doesn't go way out on a limb.

[2248] Like, I'll take a stab at something.

[2249] I have no business taking a stab at.

[2250] She's pretty reserved in her knowledge.

[2251] Yep.

[2252] Yeah, she's not a blowhard like me. So we got really excited to stump her.

[2253] Get Laura out here.

[2254] We'll ask her how the noise is being made.

[2255] And she sits on and we go, Laura, what's making the noise when you snap your fingers?

[2256] And she goes, I think your finger hitting your palm.

[2257] We're like, oh, fuck you.

[2258] Everyone else is so impressed.

[2259] I know.

[2260] I was so proud of her.

[2261] I was so happy.

[2262] You were.

[2263] Yeah, yeah.

[2264] I was.

[2265] I'm sorry.

[2266] I'm sorry.

[2267] happy about that.

[2268] That's okay.

[2269] You get really happy when I'm wrong.

[2270] And I understand.

[2271] I do understand.

[2272] It is my job.

[2273] Well, to get happy about it.

[2274] Well, because I like facts.

[2275] I like to have facts to check.

[2276] So I guess that's a lie.

[2277] I do get happy.

[2278] When I lose or I'm wrong.

[2279] Not when you, okay, not when you lose at life.

[2280] That's a horrible thing for me. But if you lose at a game every once in a while, it's real fun.

[2281] It's not real fun.

[2282] But I get it.

[2283] it.

[2284] By the way, and I admitted quickly, the reason we were excited to make Laura be wrong is that she's right so often.

[2285] And so I recognize that it would be really fun because I always think I'm right.

[2286] It's extra fun to see me hoisted by my own partart.

[2287] Yeah.

[2288] I think it's just not healthy for someone to be right or win every time.

[2289] What do you think Einstein's frequency of being wrong was just in real life?

[2290] So we were just listening to Sam Harris podcast.

[2291] Uh -huh.

[2292] And there's a great episode with organizational psychology.

[2293] Organizational psychologist professor at Wharton School.

[2294] His name's Adam.

[2295] And I can't remember his last name.

[2296] And he was talking about basically prolific geniuses in history.

[2297] Ah, yes.

[2298] Edison in particular.

[2299] Yeah.

[2300] And also Mozart.

[2301] He was talking about creative people.

[2302] And he was saying it wasn't that they were particularly genius.

[2303] It was that they created so much that they, yeah, they succeeded through quantity, not quality.

[2304] Exactly.

[2305] It's not like they had four ideas in their life.

[2306] One was the light bulb.

[2307] One was AC electricity and the other.

[2308] It's like, no, he had about 20 ,000 terrible failures.

[2309] Yeah.

[2310] And yeah, that was really encouraging.

[2311] So it was just like, be prolific.

[2312] It's inspiring.

[2313] Yeah.

[2314] It doesn't require you to be a mad genius.

[2315] Exactly.

[2316] So, Einstein, I'm sure, was the exact same.

[2317] You probably shit the bed quite often.

[2318] I'm sure he did.

[2319] That was Adam Grant.

[2320] Episode 158, Understanding Humans in the Wild.

[2321] Oh, yeah.

[2322] Really great episode.

[2323] And you and I had the exact same reaction to it.

[2324] Well, two things.

[2325] One, we were both like, God, we miss listening to this podcast.

[2326] We've been so busy.

[2327] We haven't been able to listen to it.

[2328] It inspires so much thought.

[2329] I know.

[2330] It's really fun.

[2331] And it gives us so much to talk about.

[2332] And then you and I also had the same thought, which is at the beginning, he describes being friends with a celebrity and everyone around the celebrity says that he's a genius and the person actually believes it.

[2333] And I became very convinced he's talking about me. Yeah.

[2334] Yeah, he was saying there's a celebrity who knows who's basically surrounded by yes men.

[2335] God, just human narcissism because you thought that he was talking about you.

[2336] And I also was like, I wonder if he's talking about Dax.

[2337] But no, because that's not right.

[2338] And then that would mean he'd be calling me a yes man. You make a, you find a way.

[2339] Everyone.

[2340] It makes it about themselves.

[2341] We're the worst.

[2342] We are the worst.

[2343] Oh, man. Ew.

[2344] Yeah.

[2345] I'm still 50 % convinced he was talking about me. I don't think so.

[2346] I've thought about emailing him.

[2347] No, no, no. You don't need to do that.

[2348] Okay, I'm going to do it soon as we're down with this.

[2349] Don't do it.

[2350] It'd be a great excuse just to say hi to him.

[2351] Maybe he'll tell me who the person is if it isn't me and wouldn't that be juicy gossip for us.

[2352] I am curious.

[2353] Yeah.

[2354] River dance.

[2355] Oh, right.

[2356] So she did, she called River Dance.

[2357] But actually, River Dance was performed for the first time in 1994 Eurovision Song Contest.

[2358] It was updated Irish dance.

[2359] It was like classic Irish dance, but they like made it funky.

[2360] Regular Irish dance, which is what she did.

[2361] And she did those competitions and stuff.

[2362] We were like, where does that come from?

[2363] Why are they so rigid?

[2364] So turns out when it was all starting, local venues were small.

[2365] Dances were often demonstrated on tabletops or tops of barrels.

[2366] So they had to keep their arms at their side rigidly and lack of lateral movement.

[2367] They had to just be like up and down.

[2368] Okay.

[2369] Yeah.

[2370] They were restricted.

[2371] Mm -hmm.

[2372] By their dance floor.

[2373] Okay.

[2374] Well, that makes sense.

[2375] Yeah.

[2376] Okay.

[2377] She said when she interned to SNL, that was in 2004.

[2378] Okay.

[2379] 2004, 2005 season.

[2380] She thought that was Tina Faye's last season as head writer.

[2381] actually it was the penultimate 2005 2006 you know I hate when people say penultimate you do why because it sounds so pretentious to me just say second to last I like using the correct word when it's efficient when it eliminates many other words but penultimate oh same amount of syllables yeah yeah penultimate second to last maybe it's one more second to last no same I don't know why it triggers me it's so weird because you have such a high vocabulary and you use it But then you just like pick certain words that are highfalut.

[2382] I must have was probably originates from the first time I heard it, like in what context.

[2383] I have to imagine I was watching golf, which I never watch.

[2384] But I have a chip on my shoulder about golf in general, you know?

[2385] It just feels so waspy and fucking whatever.

[2386] I have so many friends who love golf so much.

[2387] My brother loves it.

[2388] I get it.

[2389] I'm not right, but I have a chip on my shoulder.

[2390] And there's just a fucking country club culture.

[2391] exclusion.

[2392] It's not for me. And so I do believe the first time I ever heard someone say it in public was on the penultimate hole.

[2393] Stairs needs a three to birdie.

[2394] And I was like, ugh, penultimate home.

[2395] The penultimate lap.

[2396] Oh, that's another reason.

[2397] So, you know, I love MotoGP motorcycle racing and all the commentators are British.

[2398] And they'll go, coming into the penultimate lap.

[2399] And so I think because it's coming from a British person, I also am triggered by like a class.

[2400] Oh, I didn't know British people triggered you.

[2401] Well, it's a mix of I love it.

[2402] But then I also think it's too classy for me. Oh, wow.

[2403] What a struggle.

[2404] Don't you think they represent like the ultimate and upper crust?

[2405] Is it upper crust or upper crest?

[2406] Probably upper crest.

[2407] In fact, as you say it, it makes so much more sense.

[2408] It has to be upper crust.

[2409] It's crust.

[2410] Is?

[2411] No, I don't think.

[2412] Are you sure?

[2413] Is the highest social class or group?

[2414] Oh.

[2415] Can you just Google Upper Crest and see what happens?

[2416] Do you mean Upper Crest?

[2417] Wow.

[2418] Well, unlike you, I'm not super happy you were wrong.

[2419] I'm happy to be wrong.

[2420] In fact, I wish you were right.

[2421] I'm happy to be wrong, happy to learn.

[2422] That must be like high on the hog.

[2423] It must stem from like when you got bread back in the fucking 1700s or something, the upper crust was more expensive.

[2424] Yeah, probably because it's newer.

[2425] If you're in France and you go and you're getting bread and it's all stacked up, the one on top would be the freshest one.

[2426] That does make sense.

[2427] We solved it.

[2428] It doesn't seem like that.

[2429] I don't want to hear that.

[2430] I like our answer.

[2431] You're right.

[2432] That was it.

[2433] They're wrong.

[2434] I don't remember if I left this in last.

[2435] episode or last week, but there was a word that I couldn't remember.

[2436] There was a new vocabulary word, and I remembered it.

[2437] What was it?

[2438] It's rationation.

[2439] Ooh, is that someone with rosacea?

[2440] No. A nation of people with rosatia?

[2441] No, it's like basically being rational.

[2442] Oh, say it one more time.

[2443] Ration.

[2444] Logical and rational.

[2445] I'm reading under the banner of heaven.

[2446] Oh, right.

[2447] Do you love, Isn't it good?

[2448] Yeah, it's so good.

[2449] I feel like, oh, I'm learning.

[2450] I'm reading so much and then I'm still on page 18.

[2451] It's taking me a long time.

[2452] It's so dense with info, yeah.

[2453] But it's such a great book because you're both getting the history of Mormonism.

[2454] Yeah.

[2455] Mormons would disagree that that's the right history.

[2456] I'll acknowledge that.

[2457] And then a murder mystery.

[2458] It's intertwined beautifully with a murder mystery and all this dense history on Joseph Smith.

[2459] I really like it.

[2460] Me too.

[2461] I liked it so much that, you know, when I finished reading, I jumped in the car and drove to Colorado City, Arizona to see where they live.

[2462] Was that like?

[2463] Look, I don't mind offending people in Colorado City, Arizona because you guys are polygamous and you're trading daughters and it's fucking disgusting and it's not really about multiple wives.

[2464] I don't care about that.

[2465] It's definitely about pedophilia.

[2466] So it felt like time traveling to a bizarre 18th century East Coast town.

[2467] All the women are wearing the like habits or whatever we call it like a nun would wear you know we're wearing headgear and these dresses we got followed the whole time it was christin and i yeah we they followed us the whole time we were there and then we went to their little restaurant and sat down and actually ate in there and everyone there was like what the fuck are these worldly people doing in here how was the food i was hoping it would be like when you're in southern michigan you go to omish country and everything's really good like the butter's really yeah but no it's really you know because it probably have you got into the point in the book where it talks about they're getting more welfare dollars than any place in America I know even though they're anti -government yes they're getting like nine to one for every penny they put in or something astronomical like that I know and they say it's the lord's way of giving them what they need manipulating the government yes but so all the food just tasted like government issued shit mixed together it wasn't like a super wholesome delicious thing wow they had a what would we would call a magazine rack but it was just all different books of you know revelations that have been revealed to different people yeah because you're not allowed to like read books or newspapers or have TV but what it says about Mormonism the reason it spread so fast at the time it spread was it was really the first kind of Judeo -Christian religion that said you may receive revelations from God that you could be entrusted with those revelations so it was a It was a very empowering religion for people.

[2468] Ooh, so interesting.

[2469] Okay.

[2470] You said a few times that you and Aubrey were interruptors.

[2471] Like, that's what it was called.

[2472] Like, where you...

[2473] Oh, disruptors.

[2474] Yeah, disruptors.

[2475] Yes.

[2476] Yeah.

[2477] So you already know.

[2478] What do I know?

[2479] That it's disruptors.

[2480] Oh, and we were saying interruptors?

[2481] Yeah.

[2482] Oh, really?

[2483] Yeah.

[2484] Well, that was silly of us.

[2485] Well, it's similar.

[2486] Yeah.

[2487] Yeah, disruptors.

[2488] Like Google.

[2489] Yeah.

[2490] We're like Google.

[2491] I'm also an interruptor.

[2492] I have the double distinction of being an interruptor and a disruptor.

[2493] It's just because you're so excited to talk.

[2494] It truly is.

[2495] I know.

[2496] Yeah.

[2497] It's one of my worst qualities.

[2498] But I will say I do like to think it's coming from a good place.

[2499] I'm just so excited.

[2500] I know you are.

[2501] You get an ornantly excited to chat.

[2502] Okay.

[2503] So you said when you and Kristen would take walks, you would walk ahead.

[2504] you'd fart and then you were like, everyone liked it.

[2505] You liked it.

[2506] She liked it.

[2507] And you thought the person probably liked it.

[2508] I really did.

[2509] But again, because I would like it.

[2510] I know.

[2511] That's why I have to fact check that.

[2512] We do not know if those people liked it.

[2513] And I can say that if that happened to me, I would not like it.

[2514] Well, hold on.

[2515] Let's just be really clear.

[2516] First of all, we do have info because the Hansons and Kristen were watching the reaction to the person walking.

[2517] And it was always like, oh my god like a weird smile now let's just be clear are you sure you wouldn't like to hear that of course i don't want to smell a stranger's fart at all i know yeah but that's not even on the table here it's just the noise you don't you wouldn't want to hear the noise no oh no because i would feel so uncomfortable and i don't like feeling like that even though you would have just passed the person so it's not like you'd hear their trumpet and then have to look at them in the face and feel awkward, it's right as we pass and you hear, that's not going to elicit a smile in you.

[2518] I mean, let's work backwards.

[2519] Okay.

[2520] I know for sure if an older man was walking by you, and as you passed him, you heard, I know you'd smile or laugh.

[2521] Well, I would, but I'd also feel uncomfortable.

[2522] Okay.

[2523] And now, two things would be happening.

[2524] Then it's like a school teacher in a very traditional school teaching garb and she's very prim and proper.

[2525] And as she walks by you here, it's funny, because that's.

[2526] That person's like, they're supposed to be keeping it all together.

[2527] Yeah.

[2528] And one just got out.

[2529] And that's silly and funny.

[2530] I mean, it is.

[2531] It is.

[2532] Were they in a group or by themselves?

[2533] I didn't pray specifically on individuals.

[2534] If I had one in the chamber and they were coming up on me and I thought the timing would work out nicely, it would happen.

[2535] So sometimes it was more than one person.

[2536] Sometimes it was a couple of girls walk in.

[2537] That's ideal because then they look at each other really like.

[2538] That's what I was going to say.

[2539] If I was with friends and that happened, I would like it.

[2540] Like LeBlanc and.

[2541] Yeah, if I was with.

[2542] Chandler, LeBlanc, Anniston.

[2543] I would love anything.

[2544] Anything would make me smile if I was walking down the street with them.

[2545] But no, if I was with friends, I would really like it.

[2546] But if I was by myself, I would not like it because I would have no one to laugh with.

[2547] Like when you trip and fall by yourself and you like have to laugh, but no one's around and it's uncommon.

[2548] I just don't like that feeling.

[2549] Yeah, that is one of our ballmark differences.

[2550] I know.

[2551] I love feeling that exact way.

[2552] And you're embarrassed and you feel silly.

[2553] I just want that feeling to be gone as quickly as possible.

[2554] Right.

[2555] I want to fall down, feel silly, and then go to get up and feel some pitter -patter on the back of my head, turn around and see a guy in a panty whacking his wang on my head.

[2556] That's like the ideal experience.

[2557] Scenario.

[2558] All right, we can make that happen.

[2559] Okay, Wobby Wob's got to go because he's about to set up for a little.

[2560] our live show in downtown Detroit.

[2561] Yeah.

[2562] At the Fox.

[2563] I'm a little nervous about the show.

[2564] You are?

[2565] Because you know in general, I don't like performing in front of people I know.

[2566] I know.

[2567] You want to impress them.

[2568] Yes, I want to do a good job.

[2569] Yeah, and you will.

[2570] So I feel a little stressed out about it, and I have a sty in my, and I'm in a molting.

[2571] But it's not as bad as the lip appeal you have, and I'm going to prioritize that.

[2572] I love you.

[2573] I love you.

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