Vinyl Sneak Peek

[0] Sometimes I say I'm going to talk about something exciting and it's just not.

[1] I've pretty much lied to our listeners.

[2] But I think this is exciting.

[3] Recently, we celebrated our five -year anniversary of doing the podcast by releasing a vinyl album.

[4] And it has really cool artwork and it was fun to make.

[5] And it's called Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend, Quinquennial Celebration Vinyl.

[6] And the reason I'm bringing this up is we released it, not.

[7] that long ago and it immediately sold out and so we've decided to make a second pressing it's a limited edition vinyl album and it's of course presented curated by myself sona and matt in celebration of our podcast fifth anniversary we curated yeah and this one the vinyl is orange this is a limited edition orange so let's just say you i'm going to flash forward like 15 20 years maybe 50 years and the listener right now has one of these and goes in and says hey i've got this coner brine needs a friend uh fifth celebration vinyl and the old guy maybe it's one of those shows like antique stars antique road show or whatever pawn stars and they say um oh yeah that album yeah that was quite a podcast back in the day one of the big ones and i was like yeah yeah so anyway i've got that and so i'm guessing you just got the old regular vinyl Black vinyl.

[8] Well, actually, no, sir.

[9] My grandfather bought this because he was a Conan fan.

[10] I've since listened.

[11] I'm not a, I don't get it.

[12] But anyway, it's this, and he pulls out, and the guy's going to go, gosh, it's orange.

[13] You got an orange one?

[14] You got an orange quinquennial?

[15] And then he's going to start shouting, alarms will go off.

[16] We got an orange queen quenial.

[17] a Conan Orange Quinquennial And he's going to say like Do you have any idea what this is worth Well actually I really don't I just you know it's not important to me I don't value material things $500 million No way Yes in this scenario on my mind It's $500 million But of course this is about 80 years in the future Where that's like a month's rent Oh I see Also this is the largest printing we've done And it's the second So the first printing was less Yeah, you were shitting on the black one But the black one is more valuable Because there was only a limited quantity This one's a special color Let me try it again Yeah You probably got that crappy orange one No, no, no no No, that's too far Don't shit on the orange Yeah, we still need to sell Okay, okay, how about this?

[18] How about this?

[19] How about this?

[20] Well, if you got the orange one That's gonna be worth a lot Yeah, okay, good But if you got the initial black pressing Well, that'd be worth even more Is that right?

[21] Yeah.

[22] But also in this scenario, originally you said, oh, 15 years in the future.

[23] I kept adding more time.

[24] No, I wanted to be 80.

[25] I wanted to be more like 100.

[26] Okay.

[27] Is it like post -apocalyptic?

[28] Yeah.

[29] He's going to go, oh, oh, here come the robotrons.

[30] Let's get out of here.

[31] Put on your exosuit and go.

[32] Humans detected.

[33] Humans detected.

[34] Is that an orange?

[35] Conan O 'Brien vinyl.

[36] Or the more slightly more precious black I will return this to the head of the Robotrons A long time collector Vinyl So yeah it's a future Well we have a little treat here today though Just a taste This is a taste Because boy you must be thirsting for some Conan stupidity right now This is a taste Because we don't play the vinyl Because then you could record it yourself And you wouldn't need us And we couldn't exploit you Um, so Here's a taste of an old -timey ad We recorded exclusively for the vinyl Never heard before by non -vinyl owners And you can get your vinyl at podswag .com slash Conan Yeah, podswag .com slash Conan.

[37] Give a listen.

[38] Already.

[39] Are you afraid of that 1917 flu that's going around?

[40] If so, you want Doc Palmer's Asbestos face mask.

[41] Asbestos, the new miracle cloth that's been proven to destroy all infectious vapors.

[42] Yes, of course, many people say that asbestos has not been tested for long -term health effects, but take it from old Doc Palmer.

[43] Asbestos is the best cloth to have wrapped around your mouth.

[44] Available at any five -and -dime in your vicinity Just jump on the old large wheeled bicycle, wax up your stash, and get down to Doc Palmer's.

[45] Hi, Doc Palmer.

[46] Oh, hello there.

[47] What you wish?

[48] It's Johnny Unblood here, just wondering if your Doc Palmer face masks are safe for kids.

[49] Of course, they're safe.

[50] There's nothing safer to put around your mouth than asbestos.

[51] Thanks, Doc Palmer.

[52] That cough is probably not related to the mask.

[53] Everyone in this era is sickly.

[54] Get one now.

[55] One for a dime.

[56] Two for three pennies.

[57] It doesn't make sense.

[58] But that's the way things were.

[59] At the end of the First World War, wait a minute, how do I know there's going to be two?

[60] That's strange.

[61] Well, so it goes.

[62] Toon -dool -doo -o -doosy.

[63] Use code Conan on your computerizing machine.

[64] The machine will be invented at about 80.

[65] years.

[66] Until then, try it on an abacus, you motherfucker.