Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend XX
[0] Hello, my name is Jimmy Cart.
[1] And I feel contractually obliged about being Conan O 'Brien's friend.
[2] Fall is here, hear the yell, bang the bell, brandy shoes, walking loose, climb the fence, books and pens.
[3] I can tell that we are going to be friends, are going to be friends.
[4] Hey there, welcome to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend, and things are a little different.
[5] today.
[6] Let me explain.
[7] We're all in different places.
[8] You see, I am in New York City and I'm here doing some promotional work for my new show, Conan O 'Brien Must Go.
[9] Meanwhile, Matt Goreley, you are in Pasadena, California.
[10] Is that right?
[11] That's correct.
[12] And Sona, we have no idea where you are.
[13] What?
[14] What's?
[15] Where's your house?
[16] Is it in?
[17] Where is it?
[18] It's an Alcadena.
[19] It's north of Pasadena.
[20] You've been here.
[21] It's not that far.
[22] Well, I have been there.
[23] And it's very far, let's just say.
[24] I had to stop and switch out cars.
[25] It was such a long drive.
[26] What does that even mean?
[27] And at one point, on my third car, I just shot the car in the hood because it was steaming.
[28] You had to have a pit crew just to get there.
[29] Exactly.
[30] I had provisions.
[31] I had stashed water a couple of days before along the route.
[32] But anyway, Sona, I'm not trying to.
[33] Did you say you shot the car?
[34] Like you would a horse who's like, leg is broken?
[35] Yeah.
[36] There was steam coming out of the hood.
[37] It was a 1977 Plymouth Valiant, and I just took out a 38 and put a bullet right through the engine.
[38] But that's not the point.
[39] The point is that you live very far away.
[40] But I'm happy for you, Sony.
[41] You have a lovely home.
[42] Once you get there, it's beautiful.
[43] Matt, Pasadena, Sona, Altadena, Kona, O 'Brien here at the Sirius XM Studios right here in the heart of Manhattan.
[44] And Matt, you seemed a little stressed.
[45] We're all connected via Zoom.
[46] you seemed a little stressed when you got on.
[47] What's going on in your house that's upsetting you?
[48] Yeah, if you're watching the video of this, you can see that my office is in pure upheaval because I have these built -in storage benches and I'm clearing them out for a garage conversion and there's a live rat in there as we speak.
[49] Is this a pet of yours?
[50] What do you mean there's a live rat?
[51] No, it's not a pet.
[52] This is an invader.
[53] This is a hostile little piece of vermin and it's big.
[54] I don't have any traps and I don't know what I'm supposed to do other than get on a Zoom with you guys and do some podcasting.
[55] Okay.
[56] Well, when was the last time you actually had eyes on the rat?
[57] About 10 minutes ago?
[58] You're kidding.
[59] No, and it was here yesterday too, and I thought, oh, for sure it's gone because if it can get in, it can get out.
[60] But it's still in these storage benches.
[61] They're built in, so it's like encased.
[62] Did you only find this rat because you were cleaning it out?
[63] Was it just living there peacefully and you sort of just came in?
[64] I mean, I feel like squatters rights.
[65] Maybe because.
[66] I think there's been a whole colony here judging by the rat droppings and all my, oh wait, look, hold on.
[67] Now I'm imagining there's like, you opened up this cupboard and it has little rat furniture.
[68] Like, it has a little rat couch and a little rat.
[69] It's got a little television that it watches.
[70] These are my notes, the Conan podcast notes.
[71] Oh my God.
[72] That are all chewed up.
[73] It ate the podcast notes and then was turning them into a nest.
[74] Yeah.
[75] That's incredible.
[76] The thing is, you realize you can't now go to the hardware store and get a rat trap because we're going to have a lot of listeners that are now worried about the rat.
[77] We've made the rat human -like, you know?
[78] It's too late.
[79] I've already ordered two rat traps.
[80] They're smart rat traps that alert your phone when you get one.
[81] What is a smart rat trap?
[82] The rat goes in and then it has to take an L -S -A -T.
[83] And it has to get over 1 ,400 to get out.
[84] I'm scrambling here.
[85] You love that one.
[86] Oh, my God, I crack myself up.
[87] God, I enjoy Conan O 'Brien.
[88] He's good.
[89] Oh, wait, I'm him.
[90] Well, what a treat for me. What a treat for me. Yeah.
[91] Well, anyway, well, Gourley, I'm very sorry about the rat.
[92] I honestly don't think you can, you can't kill the rat.
[93] You have to catch the rat and release it because.
[94] Or should it just become like a pet and the mascot of this show.
[95] It should.
[96] That's not a podcast, yeah.
[97] I'll bring it into the studio.
[98] It is kind of cute.
[99] I don't want a rat.
[100] I don't want a rat, Matt.
[101] We can't think of anything cooler than a rat.
[102] Oh, please.
[103] We've worked with worse, Sona.
[104] Yeah, you go to war with the army you got, not the army you want, you know.
[105] A wolf.
[106] Can't we be the Conan O 'Brien wolves?
[107] No, we're going to make a flag that has this rat on it.
[108] Come on.
[109] He's sitting on a little rat love seat that he has in his little rat house.
[110] Yeah, you just catch and release.
[111] That's all.
[112] Maybe, you know what I would do?
[113] Catch the rat, make sure he's in some kind of cage and has some food, and then drive him the three days to Altadena.
[114] And release him there.
[115] He'll never make his way back to Pasadena.
[116] What's he going to do, hitchhike, you know?
[117] He's not going to, they won him on an airplane.
[118] So anyway, I won that round.
[119] Yeah, because it's so far.
[120] Anyway, pretty good joke.
[121] Stupid joke.
[122] I'm giving myself.
[123] Hey, so we're all, we're all in different places, but I think we can unite in the, introduction of our guest today.
[124] Can we not?
[125] Okay.
[126] Are you okay, Matt?
[127] Yeah, you were really phoning it in.
[128] You just said, uh -huh, as you took a drink from a straw.
[129] You're not, you were giving about 2 % right now as opposed to your normal 11%.
[130] It's a shocking, shocking drop.
[131] I've got a rat in this torn apart office.
[132] I've got a whole suite of kitchen appliances that are probably going to arrive while we're recording.
[133] I just, I'm wearing pajamas.
[134] I'm just not at my best right now.
[135] Also, I'm I'm going to say this.
[136] The tone of your voice.
[137] Have you noticed it sona?
[138] He sounds like he's about to break.
[139] Yeah, he's on the edge.
[140] I hear it too.
[141] There's a little bit something in the tone of your voice because you're usually so zen and you sound.
[142] This rat has you on the ropes.
[143] His rat has broken you.
[144] Because I was down in this bench with my head and hands down there and then this thing appeared.
[145] And it's funny.
[146] Someone can hand me a pet rat and I'd be fine with it.
[147] But an invader like that, you just freak out, you know.
[148] Well, of course, because he didn't introduce himself.
[149] No. You didn't get a chance to meet at the pet store.
[150] There was no agreement.
[151] Suddenly the rat's just there.
[152] Do you know what I mean?
[153] Did you see it?
[154] Did you guys lock eyes?
[155] Are you?
[156] Yes, I've seen it multiple times.
[157] Yes, he's seen it.
[158] I could probably see it now.
[159] He's taunting you.
[160] It's been too.
[161] And you know what?
[162] I bet he listens to the podcast.
[163] And so he's, that's what probably attracted him is he's a podcast fan.
[164] And he ripped up all the notes.
[165] Yeah.
[166] So I think he hates them.
[167] Yeah.
[168] You're right.
[169] He hates this podcast so much.
[170] He came just to tear up the notes.
[171] He wants to erase it from history.
[172] Yeah.
[173] Well, you can't say this rat is wrong.
[174] He's a big Rogan rat.
[175] That's why.
[176] All right, let's get into it.
[177] My guest today is a hilarious comedian, whose latest special Jimmy Carr, natural -born killer, is now streaming on Netflix.
[178] He's also going on a brand -new international tour.
[179] Jimmy Carr, last year.
[180] Funny and tickets are available at Jimmycar .com.
[181] I really like this gentleman.
[182] Jimmy Carr, welcome.
[183] You and I have long been enemies.
[184] We should just come out with that right now.
[185] I think it's best.
[186] The listeners, otherwise they're just going to pick up this weird energy.
[187] But yes, we are foes.
[188] I'd love to have a nemesis, wouldn't you?
[189] You know what?
[190] I want to have you.
[191] No one's got a nemesis these days.
[192] I want nemesi.
[193] I want more than one nemesi.
[194] It feels like you were in a world.
[195] though, there was that period of late night where it was possible to have there were rivals in this late night world.
[196] God bless you, thank you.
[197] That you did really have kind of a nemesis.
[198] Yes, yes.
[199] And now there's this, I talked to the other late night host.
[200] Of course, I got out of that game.
[201] But I talked to the other host of it.
[202] Yes.
[203] Well, I mean, you were, yeah, okay, let's, let's let's go with that.
[204] Let's go with that.
[205] It's your podcast.
[206] When I say got out of it, what I mean was, shortly after they asked you to leave, you left.
[207] They said me out.
[208] They squeezed me out.
[209] Yeah.
[210] They said you're to be out of here within a month or we're coming after you.
[211] And we know some bad people.
[212] So yes, I was chased kind of an incredible career in late night though because I remember that thing of like reading that book and being really excited about late night because it for me, it's so glamorous and so far away.
[213] We'd sort of read about it and that idea that you were sort of doing it and you'd be put into this position as a writer.
[214] And they suddenly gone, they'd seen something in you and gone, an incredible sort of performer.
[215] Something that you don't see that no one's seen since.
[216] Yeah.
[217] It was just a flash for a second.
[218] We all saw some...
[219] Later, they put their glasses on.
[220] Hang on a second.
[221] They put their glasses on later and said, oh, we're sorry.
[222] We thought we saw something in you.
[223] But it's an extraordinary thing because...
[224] And then it just...
[225] That thing about you thought you were going to go after two weeks, and then it was 30 years later.
[226] You're still a huge part of the culture.
[227] It's really exciting that.
[228] Well, thank you.
[229] I managed you.
[230] You backed into a compliment.
[231] I love it.
[232] Accidentally.
[233] You were backing up in a supermarket and you backed into a whole bunch of tomato cans of compliment sauce and toppled them over.
[234] But either way, you backed into a compliment, and I'll take it, James Algernon Carr.
[235] We're going with Alginon, yeah.
[236] I'm going to keep giving you different middle names.
[237] Okay.
[238] And that's all going to sound like a stomach issue.
[239] No, but can I say something?
[240] Jimmy, there's this, you are correct.
[241] You're so wise.
[242] There was this era where all the late night hosts, we didn't call each other up.
[243] We didn't talk to each other.
[244] There were very few of us, and everyone had their little fiefdom.
[245] and we were constantly peering over our stone walls at each other.
[246] Do you know what I find weird about that?
[247] You're not allowed to talk on your interview.
[248] It's the opposite of stand -up comedy.
[249] Alan Havy said this wonderful thing to me. He's an older guy.
[250] He was in Mad Med. You might have seen him gray -haired gentleman.
[251] Of course, Alan Havy, very funny man. He's incredible.
[252] But he said this thing to me about comedy.
[253] He said, we're out for ourselves but in it together.
[254] Yes.
[255] That stand -up world of going, you escape competition through authenticity.
[256] Yes.
[257] No one else can beat you at being you.
[258] And it strikes me that the late -night hosts were all the same, and they just couldn't see that.
[259] No one had told them, oh, you can all be friends.
[260] There's nothing you can do, the Letterman can do, and Jay Leno can't do what you do.
[261] And it was such a different skill set, but no one told you that.
[262] You could all be friends.
[263] You could have gone out for drinks every night.
[264] Yeah, but it wouldn't have happened.
[265] The personalities were not such that people would be going out for drinks together.
[266] It just, it was a different time, and I won't get into specifics, but it wasn't going to happen.
[267] Now, all I hear when I talk to these hosts is we just all went out to a cheesecake factory together and then high -five each other and split the bill.
[268] evenly.
[269] And they have a podcast.
[270] They did during the strike.
[271] They did.
[272] During the strike.
[273] They they're all chums.
[274] They all hang out together at the same spa and get rub downs together, which I find a little suspicious.
[275] Only, I'm not having it.
[276] Back when you were, you know, you were, you were straight out of Hell's Kitchen.
[277] You had, you were carrying a knife at all times.
[278] Yes.
[279] Yes.
[280] I was one of the plug uglies.
[281] I was from a dangerous street gang.
[282] How did you get the job?
[283] You got jumped in to late night, right?
[284] Yes.
[285] I jumped in.
[286] You were to assault an older host.
[287] Yes.
[288] I was walking down the street, mind of my own business, a van pulls up, and a bunch of guys, and it really was like they had the little razors in their boi -o caps.
[289] In their baker caps.
[290] Peaky blinders, and they came out and they said, Oh, I night show for you, eh?
[291] Don't be mad about my accent.
[292] No, I love the accent.
[293] Very accurate.
[294] Yes.
[295] Those are my people.
[296] Oh, yeah.
[297] We'll give you a nick, and then the next thing you know, I had a late -night show.
[298] Someone wants to tell me how to say, I'm Irish, obviously, as a, as a you and it.
[299] Which I didn't know.
[300] cultural appropriation way.
[301] You grew up in England, but I'm sort of first -generation immigrant to England.
[302] So my parents were from Limerick, and then they moved to a place called Slough.
[303] So there's something about shit towns they very much enjoy one to another.
[304] I got taught recently, though, I got taught by how to do a proper Dublin accent.
[305] Oh, you did?
[306] Proper Dublin accent by Bono, no less.
[307] There's a name drop.
[308] Oh, there you go.
[309] So you've just got to sound deaf.
[310] If you want to sound like you're from the north side of Dublin, just sound deaf.
[311] Thorny, once in Thorny.
[312] I can hear you But it doesn't sound like I can hear you And you'll turn a little bit deaf And that's very north side of Dublin You're wrecking me, buzz And also to pick up the phone It's like real north side of Dublin Be story No hello, no anything to Story Story What's the story You know what they also say in Dublin I was just there Fair play Oh fair play to you Yeah 1500 And I was kind of trying to figure What that means But you'd say something like Anything I would just say, I thought it was going to rain, but it didn't, so I'll put my umbrella away.
[313] Fair pleasure.
[314] What does that mean?
[315] What does that mean?
[316] It's just a filler there.
[317] I know.
[318] Everyone's just trying to get to the grave.
[319] Yeah, what else?
[320] What else can they say?
[321] I want to back up because so far, we've talked about nothing.
[322] We've said nothing.
[323] And I feel that that's on me, but also more on you.
[324] Jimmy, I want to instruct the listener right now that I had you on my late -night program seven times.
[325] You did stand -up seven times.
[326] And how do you want a bunch?
[327] Because A, you were available, but B, I adored you.
[328] You're very, you're terrific.
[329] You have a terrific mind.
[330] And as you say, there was nobody like you.
[331] There is nobody like you.
[332] You have a very specific style.
[333] Great, great jokes, like little diamond nuggets, your jokes.
[334] But then your delivery.
[335] Oh, yes.
[336] I always enjoyed your delivery.
[337] Something.
[338] No, no, no. I loved your delivery because you would deliver the joke and then your head would slightly retreat and you'd look around as if you weren't part of what you just said and it had this nice I mean I used to try and do you you'd be on the show and afterwards I'd be for my writers trying to do Jimmy Carr and I can't but I'd say something and then slightly retreat with wide eyes and look around as if you were innocent of what was just said my friend Sean Locke always used to call me on that because I'd say something terrible Like a terrible joke, like awful, the worst thing you could think of about a dark subject matter.
[339] And then I look at the audience like, what?
[340] Why are you, why is everyone upset?
[341] Yeah.
[342] What?
[343] How could you?
[344] What?
[345] What are you looking at?
[346] I was in my flat having a bath.
[347] Why am I being, I said flat for your sake.
[348] Thank you.
[349] But that's apartment so, no. Oh, yeah, yeah.
[350] Okay, anyway.
[351] Thank you.
[352] So I was on the show seven times and then it was canceled.
[353] So we can link those two events.
[354] I was not canceled.
[355] What?
[356] That's ridiculous.
[357] What?
[358] How dare you?
[359] No, you don't have your facts.
[360] Correct.
[361] So we can straighten that out later, but no one ever cancels Conan O 'Brien.
[362] Is it still on?
[363] Which one?
[364] The TBS show?
[365] No, no. I...
[366] Well, there you're then.
[367] Oh, so you think because my show ended that it was canceled?
[368] How dare you?
[369] Yes.
[370] I love it.
[371] You love that son?
[372] I love that being the narrative.
[373] Well, you know what?
[374] I'm just going to go with it.
[375] Yeah, you got canceled.
[376] Yes, what happened was about two and a half years ago, I started my, I think my conduct became very inappropriate on the air.
[377] Okay.
[378] Remember?
[379] I did that show.
[380] A lot of of people haven't, you know, spoken about this openly, but yes, they did a show.
[381] We did a theme show where I wasn't wearing any clothes from the waist down.
[382] You were canceled in both ways, the show and as like socially as a human.
[383] Yes.
[384] Yeah.
[385] Yeah.
[386] And three ways, because my wife refuses to even see me now.
[387] She looks past me and sees things.
[388] But no, listen.
[389] This is how rumors start, by the way.
[390] I know, and this is your fault.
[391] This is, someone's going to clip this up and go, you know, he was inappropriate on me. I was, I did 28 years in late night and then I gracefully dismounted into this podcast, which you don't clearly seem to be aware, this is massive this podcast.
[392] This is a massive podcast.
[393] Tell him.
[394] Tell him.
[395] It's all right.
[396] He deflated you.
[397] You would think more would go into it.
[398] Now, I found that by doing less, you do more.
[399] The less you put into something, the more you get.
[400] That's what I figured out.
[401] I used to work so hard on those early late night shows.
[402] Clearly, I was wrong.
[403] This is the way to go.
[404] I'm a big fan of that whole stoic thing of like doing less better.
[405] Yes.
[406] Just do, just do one thing.
[407] Just, what are you good at?
[408] You're good at talking.
[409] What's the podcast?
[410] It's just talking.
[411] Just talking.
[412] It's just that.
[413] They gave me all this information on you.
[414] I haven't read it.
[415] I'm not even quite.
[416] I can't read.
[417] Or tell time.
[418] That's your shapes to me. I wanted to know as little about you as possible.
[419] In fact, I had trouble making you out when I first came into the...
[420] I could tell you anything.
[421] I'm sort of an expert.
[422] I know a lot of the trivia.
[423] We're going to have.
[424] I swear to God, I'm going to start a linear conversation at some point, and it starts now, and then it's going to last for exactly 40 seconds.
[425] I've really enjoyed your stand -up, had you on the show many times, and you've made these programs for Netflix, these stand -up specials.
[426] I believe, is this correct, that you were the first...
[427] I think the first UK.
[428] First UK comedian.
[429] They were just kind of expanding.
[430] I mean, the incredible thing about Netflix is really has been...
[431] Stand -up's very new anyway, really as a medium, and it's a great American medium.
[432] If you think about what America has given the world, jazz, the Western stand -up comedy.
[433] And stand -up comedy was the last of them.
[434] It was really, I think you can trace it back to, you can obviously trace it back to trickster gods back in ancient times, but really, Carlin and Pryor are the other kind of where most people go to.
[435] And then you go, they were John the Baptist, and then everyone since has just been standing on their shoulders.
[436] Yes.
[437] And it's a very exciting medium.
[438] And then Netflix came along, and thanks to Ted Surrandus, and he's kind of love of stand -up, it feels like the world now has opened up.
[439] Like, I've done 45 countries on the tour.
[440] It's incredible, like you go anywhere in the world.
[441] And English has become, I think people speak better English now because of YouTube and Netflix than they ever used to.
[442] I've really noticed a difference.
[443] It's extraordinary, really.
[444] Great time to be in stand -up.
[445] I will tell you that one of the things that I love about streaming is I watch a lot of UK comedians now.
[446] I watch, I watch comedians actually from all over the world now, but I also watch television shows, mysteries.
[447] I'm very used to, I'm very happy to watch shows that aren't even in English.
[448] It is kind of extraordinary that thing that's happened, which I don't think anyone in media saw coming.
[449] No one saw podcasts coming.
[450] No one thought podcasts were going to be a huge thing, that there was a gap in the market that people, because people's attention spans.
[451] You talk to most people that go, people's attention spans getting shorter, and it's all about TikTok.
[452] And you go, yeah, for nonsense, it's shorter, but for good stuff, it's longer.
[453] Right.
[454] If like there's Game of Thrones and it's 60 hours long, you go, or Breaking Bad, yeah, great, I'll watch 60 hours of that.
[455] I've got a huge attention span for it because it's brilliant.
[456] Or a podcast where people are having a long conversation and you feel engaged, it's fantastic.
[457] For all those years that you would come on my show and do stand -up, I loved it, but I never got to know you.
[458] And what I enjoy so much about this format after doing, I loved the other format.
[459] Until, of course, in your vernacular, I was chased out.
[460] But, Me Too, let's just call it Me Too.
[461] Yeah.
[462] Let's call it Me Too, and just get it done, get it out there.
[463] Sonner, was it you?
[464] Yeah, it was.
[465] was me. You're still working with us?
[466] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[467] Well, hey, it's a good living.
[468] I talked to every single outlet.
[469] I was like, he's a monster.
[470] He's awful.
[471] She's the only person who called in a Me Too and then continued to work for me and got a raise.
[472] Incredibly handsy.
[473] Yeah.
[474] He was in the executive washing.
[475] Yes, but touching genitals.
[476] In my defense.
[477] He's owned, but still.
[478] I am.
[479] I'm very handsy, but primarily with myself.
[480] I'm constantly all over me. I'm somehow.
[481] worse.
[482] And I've had it with this.
[483] I've had it with this treatment.
[484] You me too.
[485] I got a restraining order against myself.
[486] You got an iTunes.
[487] Yeah.
[488] I got iTunes.
[489] You did panel on the show once, which I thoroughly enjoyed, but we never could have done this.
[490] But isn't that a wonderful thing that you kind of go to, it's a different format.
[491] And it's kind of, it's more, I think it's kind of more authentic.
[492] The great thing about late night, it's such a perfect medium.
[493] It's again, it's so American.
[494] It's so kind of glamorous to me to go on those shows.
[495] It's such a privilege to do them.
[496] But it's, it's I'm quite close with James Cordon and Ben Winston, who produces him.
[497] And you kind of go chatting to those guys, you realize late night talk shows, the kind of the whole thing is, let's try not to have a conversation, let's keep the games going and something else happening rather than actually, you know, you don't want to have a late night discussion program, whereas these, it's all about conversation.
[498] It's really, it's lovely.
[499] Yeah, and what I have found is people come up to me all the time and not just in the United States, but around the world, and they'll tell me, oh, I was just listening to you on the podcast, and they really have a flavor for my relationship with Sona and with Matt.
[500] They can kind of, I mean, I'll hear about this.
[501] They can sense you hold them in contempt, yeah.
[502] Oh, absolutely.
[503] Oh, I am contentious.
[504] Yes, definitely.
[505] Yeah, day one.
[506] Open about it.
[507] Well, please.
[508] Come on.
[509] You know.
[510] Will you help me?
[511] I don't know how can.
[512] I'm seeing Mark Marin later on.
[513] Are you being kept for parts?
[514] It feels, can you smuggle me out of here?
[515] It feels like you're like Mark Maron's just got you sort of, you're just holding some kidneys.
[516] But if anything happens.
[517] He is, he is here because I need a spleen.
[518] And you know what?
[519] He was hired because he's a direct blood match for me. So this is a, this is basically an organ bag.
[520] I'm just all stem cells.
[521] This is my, this is all stem cells.
[522] Yeah.
[523] This is my organ bag.
[524] And organ bag, Matt Gourley.
[525] Matt, how are you?
[526] You know, are you feeling, by the way, now.
[527] I get very upset when he goes out drinking because those are my organs he's fucking.
[528] I'm trying to kill you.
[529] Okay, I must know more about you because I'm curious, a lot of my favorite people in comedy, it's rare that I talk to somebody who I really like, who just knew when they were very young and got started very young.
[530] A lot of us, myself included, we were interested in it but didn't quite know.
[531] how to attack it.
[532] You were a bit of a late bloomer.
[533] I think, yeah, for comedy, I didn't start comedy until I was about maybe 25, 26.
[534] Yeah.
[535] So I had a proper job first, which is, it's very useful in show business.
[536] I think if you go straight from school into, into showbiz, then it's very difficult to be grateful.
[537] It's very difficult to appreciate how great it is.
[538] Right.
[539] And how kind of fun life is just kind of messing around.
[540] And your previous job was working for an oil company, like a big oil company, yeah.
[541] So that was good.
[542] Yeah.
[543] That was good.
[544] You've never looked back once.
[545] You're never tempted to go.
[546] Yeah, they're still doing great, right?
[547] I haven't looked in on them recently, but I imagine they're doing great.
[548] Can I ask you something?
[549] Until Mother Earth says her safe word, we can keep screwing her, right?
[550] Is that not right?
[551] I don't know, I don't know much about environmentalism, but I know a thing or two about BDSM.
[552] And I'm pretty sure.
[553] I'm picturing now Earth with a ball gag in its mouth.
[554] Oh, no. Until Earth says it's safe word.
[555] Yeah, we're going to take it right up to the line I think we did that a while ago So yeah, came to it late I think the thing with comics I mean, I don't know what your go -to is when I meet sort of comics that I've met before If we're in a car ride or whatever, green room My question is always which of your parents were sick That's my, I always think there's one parent That was either physically or mentally sick And you had to be the thermostat for mood And then the pathology of most comedians I know And most comedians that I love Is they have to be able to change the thermostat Of mood in a room Because really when you think about what we do in a room, you come in and you change the, we're drug dealers, where you dopamine and serotonin.
[556] Those are the two drugs we're dealing in.
[557] So that constant surprise, if you don't quite know where the joke is coming, you know there's a joke, but you don't know when, and then the serotonin of the feel good.
[558] It's great.
[559] And they'll never take me a lie because the drugs are already on you.
[560] Right.
[561] Sick is a big word.
[562] And so I don't know if I'd be prepared to say that in my experience.
[563] But what I will say is that there's a sensitivity to wanting everyone on the room to be okay, as you say, being the thermostat, so if something's off or if someone's unhappy or if there's any sort of, you know, repeated unhappiness that runs along, you want to try and lift that mood.
[564] So that's where that it's a little bit of, it's a magical trick.
[565] The, uh, we went serious there, didn't we?
[566] No, no, don't worry.
[567] We'll take all that out.
[568] Um, after you're gone, I'm going to do 20 minutes of berating you.
[569] and that will be inserted.
[570] And we'll just use defensive squeaks for your voice.
[571] And people say, well, you know, Conan really got the best of Jimmy there, didn't he?
[572] If you're interested, the insertion was the reason he was me -toed.
[573] Attempted it.
[574] So you're 25.
[575] That's when you start.
[576] And your style is these, as I said, there are comedians that tell stories.
[577] They find their way to the, laughs here and there on their journey and that is not you no i was always my my love language is the one liner yeah i'm trying to develop something i mean in the new special i'm trying to develop some longer stories and so i've got a good fastball but i don't have much in in the bag i wanted to kind of develop a little bit so i really kind of made a decision a couple years ago try different things all the time i try different styles try different you know try and mix it which i've kind of done a little bit but it's i was very influenced by stephen wright and nemo phillips and rita rudner and all those kind of gag to gag comics.
[578] I don't know.
[579] I think there's something wonderful about that.
[580] You're not wasting anyone's time.
[581] Oh my God.
[582] I mean, I remember being in knocking out the, knocking out the hits, laugh to laugh.
[583] When I was a teenager and seeing Stephen Wright and just the jokes, they, they felt like little jewels.
[584] Like, you know, they just, they, they were, they were dense and they were so smart and he would just keep handing them out.
[585] And you felt like this is, this guy is, is holding a sack of rubies and he just keeps taking them out and and and passing them to the audience that's how it felt to me yeah I'm just being blown away by yeah the power of his uh intellect and then his delivery was so self -assured and and also very much nothing special happening here I'm just a guy talking yeah and then he's amazing so so he influenced you oh you see emo phillips as well I don't think it's email great email I think was bigger in the UK in the 80s than he was here he was like he was quite a big deal He was great.
[586] Yeah, but then I loved all the stuff like Billy Connolly.
[587] I love Bill Hicks.
[588] But in the end, your sense of humor chooses you.
[589] I think what you laugh at is kind of, it's very, it's very exposing.
[590] And I like kind of dark stuff, and I like short one -liners, and that's what I can kind of go to very easily.
[591] But it's weird.
[592] You don't, like, if I was making a plan at the beginning of my career, I would have been a storyteller because I only need five ideas to fill an hour.
[593] Brilliant.
[594] Right, right.
[595] I would have been much more cost effective.
[596] Right.
[597] Whereas I'm running about 300 jokes in an hour.
[598] It's a lot of world.
[599] work.
[600] Yeah.
[601] Although, yeah, it's easier to build from Lego than marble.
[602] It's cool it what it is.
[603] Also, easier to change your mind.
[604] You just detach that piece, the yellow piece and put in the blue piece.
[605] Well, it's a lot of kind of beta testing.
[606] It's a lot of, you know, in my act, it's a lot of, oh, is that word better than that word?
[607] Well, I'll try a different way tonight, different way tonight, different way tonight, trying new stuff all the time.
[608] So you're constantly kind of writing.
[609] So now we get to this other issue, which is you do a Netflix special.
[610] And unlike, 70 years ago when you could then tour with that act for 15 years on vaudeville or actually some people would have a really good hour and a half and they would or hour and 15 minutes and they would tour with it for 50 years yeah because that was their act it's an amazing footage of like these guys called morcom and wise yes i know morcombe wise one shot of them doing it.
[611] But it's a perfect Volvillian hour.
[612] It's gorgeous.
[613] No, I mean, as soon as the Netflix thing drops, I've got one day off and then I start the new tour.
[614] Okay, so this is what's incredible is you do the Netflix thing and then that's out.
[615] Then there's the sense that, is there the sense that I have got to reinvent the wheel now?
[616] Because...
[617] But this is the stoic thing.
[618] You do it every night.
[619] Every night of the tour, at the end of 90 minutes, I pull out a piece of paper from my pocket.
[620] I think I've got the one from last night with new jokes written on it.
[621] And I try the new jokes.
[622] And so every night you try new stuff.
[623] And then so at the end of a year, you know, let's say you do 10 jokes a night and half of them work.
[624] Well, at the end of the year, you have the new show.
[625] And then you sort of retry them and, you know, be to test or whatever.
[626] And you're kind of, you're building up, you're building up, you're building up.
[627] Then obviously you do a couple of previews where you put it all in a row and see, does it make sense?
[628] And are there, you know, too many things that are similar or whatever, but it's, is there.
[629] Do you have jokes that you tell that don't work, but you enjoy them so you keep them in?
[630] I've got no, not much I think I'm in the service industry And ultimately we all are We all are I'm just not sure what the service is here We're called time wasters Incorporated We're here to waste an hour of your fucking time Jimmy To get you to the grave But that thing of That thing of like Everyone leaves this podcast Calling their representation What was that?
[631] I'm a busy man What a waste of time?
[632] He used to be on the telly.
[633] See, I did that for you as well.
[634] But now he's on the talkie.
[635] Maybe we should Maybe we should record this at double speed.
[636] A lot of people listen at double speed.
[637] I think we should start recording in double speed.
[638] What's I talking about?
[639] Gags, I don't know.
[640] So testing, I write some things and I suppose it's that thing, though.
[641] The audience is a genius.
[642] Lenny Bruce said that first, I think.
[643] And the audience tell you what is and what isn't funny and what isn't acceptable.
[644] And you tell the joke, and sometimes and it just stares back at you and it's nothing.
[645] It's very rare you can rescue one of those.
[646] Sometimes you tell a joke and it just gets a laugh.
[647] It's bee material.
[648] It's kind of nothing.
[649] It's never going to make it onto a special or into a tour.
[650] It's fine.
[651] It's joke shaped, but nothing special.
[652] If you really love it, then you go away and you change it and you change it and you change it until eventually it gets a big laugh.
[653] But then it's a different joke.
[654] Right.
[655] But somehow you feel like, oh, well, it's kind of connected to the thing I love.
[656] I knew there was something there.
[657] Yeah.
[658] And sometimes it comes back years later.
[659] Sometimes it's just, you know, it's part of a bigger routine.
[660] It's a weird thing with when you, when you, do wordplay or puns or something, if you just do one, it's kind of okay.
[661] If you do two, fine.
[662] If you do three, it's an applause break.
[663] If you do sort of three in a row, because it's a sort of a feat.
[664] So sometimes it's like putting those things together where you've kind of thought of it, it's fine, but actually together with something else, it'll work.
[665] You have to be cognizant of so much material when you're doing your act.
[666] Do you ever find yourself not knowing?
[667] I don't know which one goes here because if you say, if you do 300 jokes and you're at number 211.
[668] I'll tell you what the killer is, two shows a night.
[669] Yeah.
[670] The killer is two shows a night because halfway through the second show and someone's just heckled and you've dealt with that and then you go, how am I talking about?
[671] Where are we?
[672] I can't remember what city I'm in.
[673] Never mind what joke I'm on.
[674] And that, I would say four seconds of panic is a lifetime.
[675] And then obviously you remember.
[676] You're always fine, but there's like a moment of a, here we are.
[677] It's strange because it almost feels like.
[678] something you need Einstein to explain, but if you're on stage, I know exactly where I was.
[679] I was the Beacon Theater because I was just back there, and this was a number of years ago, and I was talking, and then at one point, and things were going great, but at one point, I absolutely forgot not only where I was in my act, but why I was, who I was, am I dressed?
[680] I mean, everything just went away, and I remember.
[681] This is your DMT story.
[682] Yeah, exactly, yeah.
[683] Why did I lick the back of a frog before walking on?
[684] on stage?
[685] What was I thinking?
[686] That's not my pre -show ritual.
[687] I thought I'd try a new ritual.
[688] I didn't know was that kind of frog.
[689] And so I, you almost feel like you've drifted out of your body, but then you realize I can't.
[690] There's so many people here watching.
[691] There's whatever, 2 ,000 people here watching, whatever it is.
[692] I need to get back in there and figure this shit out.
[693] So you go through this whole journey and you do it.
[694] And then I realized later on, if you were watching in the audience, you're watching three seconds.
[695] But to me, it feels.
[696] felt like this journey to get back into myself it's it's interesting that thing of like it's a lovely experience as well to be on stage and to be sort of that present you sometimes have a moment like that but it's it's kind of fine it's interesting that thing of like it's a very unique experience always kind of being on stage people sort of go I do a lot of dates on the tour and people sort of go you get bored of it or whatever but it always feels different you get to travel you get to go to different places the different audience it feels different every show so it's kind of that it's like a unique experience and I always think like people don't want more time.
[697] They want more memories.
[698] Yes.
[699] And actually doing this sort of job, you meet interesting people, you chat to interesting people.
[700] It's always kind of a bit different.
[701] It's good for that, I think.
[702] Have you found, because you pretty much, you've, you travel widely, you tour widely.
[703] Have you found a place where you felt, yeah, it doesn't work for me here?
[704] Or it's not, the Jimmy Carr sensibility doesn't work here.
[705] Or have you found that it's, it's completely universal?
[706] Pretty universal in terms of like, I think people are, that come and see me. It's, it's, Self -selecting.
[707] Self -selecting.
[708] So very few people would come and buy a ticket to my show and go, I'm like, it's very rude, isn't he?
[709] Why is he so rude?
[710] Why is he so much filth in this?
[711] Why is he talking about all the worst things?
[712] Why can he be nice?
[713] He's got no singing voice.
[714] This is awful.
[715] Like, they know what they're, at this point, they know what they've, they've done a little bit of a Google and come along.
[716] I always think, like, a good proportion of my income, I should be very grateful for this, but a good proportion is people that have been dragged along by their other half.
[717] Yeah.
[718] Like, I don't know what percent.
[719] I don't know, but there's a, percentage to my audience every night that I'm okay I guess I guess we went to the I guess we went to the game on Saturday so we're doing this for you now fine fine no he's fine no I really enjoyed it I really enjoyed it could have been shorter you know what I don't I must be get haunted by this but people always overshare and I'm I'm very fortunate to have many people tell me that they really enjoy my nonsense.
[720] But invariably, there's some proportion of those people who say, I mean, my wife, not a fan.
[721] And of course, I'm intrigued.
[722] Like, I want to talk to her.
[723] I don't want to talk to the guy that likes me. I'm more interested in talking to the person who's not.
[724] And not only...
[725] I talk to the person that doesn't like me a lot, because they come up to me in the street, are constantly, a stream of people.
[726] Can I get a photo with you?
[727] My mom really likes you.
[728] My brother really likes you.
[729] My cousin is a huge fan.
[730] It's never them.
[731] I've never met anyone who's a fan of me. It's always someone in an airport going, can I get a picture with you?
[732] Yeah.
[733] Apparently you're famous.
[734] Come here.
[735] Yeah.
[736] Yeah.
[737] Yeah.
[738] Well, if I have to explain I'm famous, then I guess I'm not.
[739] I'm fine with that.
[740] Yeah.
[741] You came up to me. But at least they don't tell you they actively dislike you.
[742] Those are the people I'm interested in.
[743] I want to talk to them.
[744] Matt, let's talk.
[745] Let me get my notes out.
[746] Then you pull out a giant tome of reasons I hate Conan.
[747] We live obviously in a very sensitive era and this has not deterred you in any way.
[748] You like to walk that line.
[749] I don't know if that's intentional, but it's just my sense of humor.
[750] It's your sense of humor.
[751] I still think it's that thing where you go, if you think about friendship, right, what is friendship?
[752] It's someone you talk to you with no filter.
[753] That's your best friend is a person with the least amount of filter and work colleagues like these guys, a huge filter, right?
[754] Actually, shockingly no. There's really no. filter here.
[755] I don't know.
[756] I don't think I don't think I don't think I have any filter.
[757] This is what I think's hilarious.
[758] It's a weird thing.
[759] I think comedians are showbiz adjacent.
[760] A friend said this to me recently.
[761] You know Robbie Williams, a singer?
[762] I'm a really nice guy.
[763] And he said, I'm an entertainer in the true sense.
[764] If you don't love me, I don't love me. Which I found heartbreaking.
[765] And I thought, well, comedians haven't got that.
[766] Comedians like, we desperately, desperately want to be loved entirely on our own terms.
[767] Yeah.
[768] It's that weird thing if you go, I'm going to say this unsayable thing.
[769] I mean, the council culture thing is like, it's very fun to, for, journalist to write about, but it's not real, is it?
[770] I mean, you can, all sort of the biggest comics in the world are saying, you know, outrageous things, but it's, it's just that thing that comedy has a role to play.
[771] It's, that's, that's what it's meant to do, I think.
[772] And whether it's pushing it in terms of subject matter or a level of intimacy or what you can talk about, that Overton window of what you can and can't talk about shifts through time.
[773] So actually, there's stuff like mine, you know, outrageous jokes, but there's also people opening up about their lives.
[774] You know, he's in Mark Maren and Hannah Gadsby and people talking about their experiences.
[775] And that's another way it's opening up and expanding.
[776] So it's, I don't know, I think it's a, I think it's a problem.
[777] I've had people approach me on the street.
[778] Actually, not too far from our studio here, literally like a block.
[779] Someone rode up to me on a bicycle and he was lamenting and he wanted to, I think, connect with me. He says like, man, Conan, isn't it tough?
[780] The cancel culture.
[781] I mean, guys like you, you can't say anything anymore.
[782] And I thought, That's just not true.
[783] I don't believe that's true.
[784] It's, it's, it's, it's, I don't feel that there's things that I want to say that I can't say.
[785] There's a, there's a weird thing going on, though, where there's a little bit of, you know, in the wider world outside of comedy.
[786] There is a thing, there's preference falsification going on now.
[787] So, say that again.
[788] Preference falsification.
[789] I just sounded pretty.
[790] I just wanted to hear.
[791] Okay.
[792] I don't know.
[793] I don't know what you mean.
[794] I don't know what you mean by preference falsification.
[795] So if you look at opinion polls now, they don't work as well as they did 10 years ago.
[796] so there's a thing where people know what the right thing to say is and cancel culture there's nothing from above right there's no authoritarian leader telling us what we can and can't say and really you look at the world now and you go the basket of things that you cannot say is so much smaller than it was 20 years ago there was blasphemy you look at george carlin seven things you couldn't say on TV you can say anything now it's open the issue now is kind of self -censorship is the idea that people feel like well i don't want to say the thing so i think there's a cathartic element to come and see a comedy show because you go, oh, this guy, this guy doesn't seem to give a fuck.
[797] He's saying whatever he wants.
[798] And that, I think it engenders.
[799] I think people have very interesting conversations afterwards where they feel a bit looser.
[800] Yeah.
[801] I think with all comedy shows, actually, I think it doesn't matter whether, you know, edgy, not edgy, it doesn't really make any odds.
[802] I think it's just, it puts people in a state of, okay, this is, this is fun.
[803] We can laugh at stuff.
[804] I think if someone's being, uh, intelligent and honest, and they've crafted their work, I don't know what subject they, can't bring up.
[805] I may not like all of it, but it feels to me that I'm more prefer, I more prefer, I think a lot of it is, do I trust the person who's up here talking, have they, are they intelligent?
[806] Do they in general like humanity or inclined to like humanity somewhat?
[807] Do they have antipathy?
[808] Are they malicious?
[809] What's the intention?
[810] I mean, let's face facts.
[811] Intention and context mean a lot.
[812] There's a big difference between being homeless and camping.
[813] Okay.
[814] Okay, but you can sort of do a journalistic article where you pretend you don't realize that and just said, well, he said this thing.
[815] This is a statement, a statement of fact, rather than realizing it was a joke and the audience laughed and they all knew people laugh at the wrong thing because they know what the right thing is.
[816] Yeah, it's interesting.
[817] Are my theories comedians leak?
[818] I think they leak.
[819] I think you watch it someone do one liners for an hour.
[820] And weirdly, I've said nothing about myself and given everything away.
[821] People know who I am.
[822] Yeah.
[823] They have a sense of, okay, that's fine.
[824] And it's that equal opportunities offender thing of just going, well, if I hear everyone, then no one feels like they're being got.
[825] But I don't even agree with the language that sometimes use, that idea of punching down.
[826] People kind of, you know, you're punching down.
[827] You go, sorry, you think there's people below me. What?
[828] What now?
[829] I'll stop you there.
[830] Who's below me then?
[831] Who, no, give me the list.
[832] Who's below me?
[833] I mean, obviously, I'm a cis heterosexual male.
[834] So who's under me in your hierarchy of humans?
[835] right it's nonsense right how much do you credit uh your irishness your u kness i mean i know that you were much more irish than i had known yeah i mean i carry an irish passport um yeah i would credit my my mother was a big uh was a very funny woman and uh had very little filter like she would be seen as i think a lot of people would think she was embarrassing i was never embarrassed by anything i think i that was yeah i had the uh the the the vaccine for that early on of like just so much embarrassment bulletproof.
[836] I liked that thing of like she was able to kind of, you know, change, she was also depressive and very down and just this, this wonderful kind of character.
[837] And I think that thing of like, it's a specific person that you kind of, you go, okay, so that thing that she had a very different sense of humor, but, you know, being able to kind of do that.
[838] I don't know whether that's linked to Irishness.
[839] I don't know.
[840] I suppose it's funny.
[841] I bring it up just because I obviously, in my, my house growing up that was you'd get out of jail free card from any from any from any kind of feelings of anxiety restraint the mood here isn't great anything that would happen in any household to get out of jail free card was I used to call it if you could kind of run the table if we would if we would sit at the kitchen table and I could get something going yeah and then everyone's laughing and I get on a roll and I can see that I'm getting everybody that to me was you're sprung.
[842] It's just this way to, and you can almost talk about anything you can talk about in a way you can allude to things that were taboo at the table.
[843] I thought, used to think there might be something kind of a little Irish here because it's such a Catholic culture, it's such a repressed culture that I'm able to touch on things.
[844] And then I saw the same thing with a lot of my Jewish friends that they, it worked the same way in their culture.
[845] And I think that there were ways that they could, I don't know, sort of, it was a jail break.
[846] They could get out of the tension in the room by being outrageously funny.
[847] Yeah.
[848] I mean, I think that's just true.
[849] I think there's, there is something about that.
[850] There's a, there's a real, it's, it's those things as well with, you know, any, any big family unit, anything where the, uh, the tribe is more important than the individual is going to be, it's that thing of like, you can stand out by, you know, because we all desperately want to fit in and then we desperately want to stand out.
[851] And in Irish culture you are not supposed to stand out because then you're oh well that's more that's more they're very British thing of the tall poppy yeah the tall poppy and it's a UK thing in general which is oh who do you think you are oh so you think you're jimmy car do you know and uh look at you with your nice suit and your sold out shows and your net your popular netflix specials must be nice it's a it's a weird thing is the uh it's interesting though because people people want what you've got, but they never want to do what you had to do to get it.
[852] So the thing of, like, you're chatting there about, you know, childhoods and the pathology that goes into being a comedian and thinking about this all the time, it's an odd pathology.
[853] There's an odd thing going on there.
[854] When you spoke earlier about, you wouldn't say either your parents was, was sick.
[855] It seems to betray a, there's something going on there.
[856] There was some, something in the house.
[857] And there's always kind of, there's always something.
[858] There's always kind of reason to get into this.
[859] I don't think well -balanced people feel the need to do this.
[860] I've said this maybe a hundred times on this podcast, but I will keep saying it because it bears repeating.
[861] My father is a very smart, very highly educated scientist medicine in medicine.
[862] And yeah, he looked at me once and said, oh, I understand.
[863] You're making your living off of something that should probably be treated.
[864] And he wasn't making a joke.
[865] He was saying, I see now.
[866] And basically then, so My father said that.
[867] I'm not a therapist.
[868] I feel like...
[869] So you've said this before on the show and they've done nothing to help you.
[870] We laugh.
[871] Nothing.
[872] They haven't reached out.
[873] But you know, the father's very right.
[874] His father's correct.
[875] Nothing's not helping.
[876] We laugh for what.
[877] But Jimmy, I will tell you.
[878] He needs a hug is what he needs.
[879] No, this is how we make our money.
[880] Yeah, yeah.
[881] Don't...
[882] Dance, monkey.
[883] Don't kill the magic bird.
[884] Yeah, he makes the golden eggs.
[885] Yeah.
[886] But my father then went on to explain how synapses.
[887] work and how, but how if there's a misfiring synapse that creates an error, but people find that error funny, then you can make your living off of that.
[888] And I listened to this for quite a while and wasn't upset.
[889] It was just like, huh, the old man's on to something.
[890] Anyway, I had a great chat once with Robert Dunbar.
[891] Do you know Robert Dunbar?
[892] I do not.
[893] The Dunbar numbers, like the number of people in a friendship group often gets quoted because of social media but so so gorillas have a dunbar number about 60 they get to a pod of sick i think it's a pod with gorillas about 60 and then they go well we can't groom each other anymore but you know number 65 goes i don't even know these guys they never pick any nits out of my hair come on let's start a new pod and they start a new pod and 60's a good number but you don't get to specialization with 60 so why did we develop beyond 60 well we got to 150 that's the dunbar number for like 100 ,000 years yeah okay so we got to this bigger group and the reason we were able to do that was remote grooming and remote grooming was laughter laughter predates language by about a million years it's a different part of the throat uh that developed much earlier so it's it's a weird thing that like the importance of what comedy brings can't be overstated i think i think your father was being mean but i think he was onto something and i think there is it's a weird how dare you talk about my father that way But when you, but when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you think about it though, it's that thing of like the, the ha ha and the aha moment, what, what does comedy reward?
[894] Linguistic ability and pattern recognition.
[895] And it's, it's all of the good things.
[896] It's all of the things that make, and pattern recognition is basically the skill of humanity.
[897] Yeah.
[898] It's the, the, the incredible thing we kind of work together.
[899] And this idea of specialization through larger groups, through this development of language.
[900] It's, uh, yeah.
[901] It's an incredibly important thing.
[902] You just made me realize that the title of this podcast is Conan O 'Brien needs a friend and that essentially what I'm doing is taking this modern technology and I had increased the pod through television but then tried to specialize and take this technology and say, I want to make this pod podcast, but you use the word pod as in your friend group.
[903] I'm trying to make this friend group.
[904] Humans should have 150 friends and I'm trying to get to like 150 billion.
[905] because it's never enough.
[906] It's never enough.
[907] 150 billion.
[908] Yes, well, we have to go to other planets.
[909] Yeah, we've got a ways to go, yeah.
[910] We've got to go to the beginning of infinity, isn't it?
[911] Jimmy, I have taken more time than I intended to, and I apologize for that, but I'm not sorry, because sorry, not sorry, as they say in our culture, because it's been lovely talking to you, seriously.
[912] It is really interesting doing this as opposed to coming on the show because I was always so excited.
[913] to come on your show.
[914] I mean, it was such a big deal.
[915] You'd kind of fly over and it was so kind of glamorous and fun to do.
[916] It's such a privilege to go and to do that.
[917] I'm so grateful for those times.
[918] Well, you were always such a perfect comic and such an original voice.
[919] Is this the longest a podcast has gone without a mention of Four Square?
[920] You've got the wrong podcast, buddy.
[921] You've got the wrong decade.
[922] Which, who are we sponsored by?
[923] Who we have so many.
[924] Who are shilling?
[925] Let's chill something.
[926] Okay.
[927] Well, basically, we do.
[928] are ads separately and then Jeff.
[929] Yeah.
[930] Yeah.
[931] And Jimmy everyone wants in on this podcast.
[932] It's a big podcast.
[933] You seem to refuse that.
[934] But we get, I mean, we got a lot of huge sponsors.
[935] Blackwater is behind us now.
[936] Oh, no. Oh, yeah.
[937] Blackwater.
[938] The defense industry, the people that are coming up with a better landmine.
[939] Yeah.
[940] That's us.
[941] It's really the best.
[942] We're huge in the defense industry.
[943] Yeah.
[944] And also fracking.
[945] The new.
[946] Fracking is big with this podcast.
[947] I didn't know this.
[948] Oh, oh, you pretend it.
[949] not to know, so you can keep buying your fancy earrings with turquoise.
[950] Now, is there any, is that, what about the cobalt people?
[951] Are the cobalt people involved?
[952] Oh, we're after the cobalt people.
[953] Yeah.
[954] Somehow just the concept of gerrymandering advertisers on this podcast.
[955] Yeah.
[956] You would have been a tremendous gerrymander.
[957] Oh.
[958] You really missed your calling.
[959] He's right.
[960] Oh, listen.
[961] Actually, that would maybe be a better title, the gerrymander.
[962] Yeah.
[963] In the same vein, just the concept.
[964] of greed and ill will are sponsors of this podcast.
[965] So we have...
[966] The seven sins.
[967] We're sponsored by the seven deadly sins.
[968] Jimmy has a special on Netflix, which I have not seen yet.
[969] It has not been made available to me, which I'm very bitter about.
[970] I spoke to the people at Netflix, and they said it's $19 a month and you have to just pay.
[971] Fuck that.
[972] No, that's money out of my children's mouths because my children eat $20 bill.
[973] Jimmy Carr, Natural Born Killers, is streaming...
[974] Natural Born Killer for...
[975] I've never heard of Natural Born Killers.
[976] I don't know what you could mean.
[977] I called it natural born killer, so that's a different thing.
[978] So if Mr. Tarantino's watching, I don't know what you're talking about.
[979] I think it was Oliver Stone.
[980] Well, he wrote it.
[981] Oliver Stone wrote it.
[982] No, Tarantino wrote it.
[983] Tarantino wrote it.
[984] Oliver Stone directed it.
[985] Okay, so we're all right and we're all wrong.
[986] No?
[987] No, just me. Car, natural -born killer.
[988] No S at the end, is now streaming on Netflix, and I'm going to be watching it because...
[989] If it's made available to you, let's see.
[990] No, I'm going to watch it at a friend's house.
[991] Through the window.
[992] I am not...
[993] That's you?
[994] That's me. I'm always asking you, when are you going to watch Jimmy Carr's latest special?
[995] You always say, I don't know, tonight at nine, why do you ask?
[996] Nothing, and then you hear a rustling outside your house.
[997] Can I just make a public service announcement?
[998] I would I recommend you watch my Netflix special Jimmy Carr, Natural Born Killer, on Netflix, but close the curtains.
[999] Oh, I have a little stick.
[1000] Draw your blinds.
[1001] I have a little stick that parts the curtains.
[1002] Creeps like me have those.
[1003] I don't have windows, just blinds.
[1004] I have one of those.
[1005] It's like a Warner Brothers cartoon.
[1006] I can make a little suction cup by drilling on the wall.
[1007] Jimmy, thank you so much for making the time and continued success to you, sir, you deserve it.
[1008] What a pleasure talking to you.
[1009] Absolutely pleasure.
[1010] Thank you so much for having me on.
[1011] Thank you.
[1012] Well, this will not, this, no one will ever hear this.
[1013] This one is just going right in the bin.
[1014] In the vault.
[1015] We throw every third one away.
[1016] Sorry, you just landed on the day.
[1017] Just because we can.
[1018] Yeah, it's a thing.
[1019] And we've had some amazing third guests.
[1020] And then we just, you know, Tom Cruise, amazing revelations, it was the third guest that week.
[1021] And we threw them out.
[1022] Yeah.
[1023] It's for the best.
[1024] All right.
[1025] Well, I am in New York right now, but still able to, talk to my good pals, Matt Gorley, Sonoma Sessian, through the magic of technology.
[1026] So you guys are in Los Angeles.
[1027] I'm here in New York.
[1028] I'm in New York because I'm doing promotion for Conan O 'Brien Must Go, the show that sort of was born out of the podcast.
[1029] And I'm very excited about it.
[1030] And so went on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon last night.
[1031] And did you guys, I don't know if you guys saw it, but I gave you to a shout out on television, real television.
[1032] I mean, I wasn't going to watch it, but then you said you gave us a shout -out, and so that's why I watched it.
[1033] Yeah, same.
[1034] And I just watched that two seconds.
[1035] He watched this at two seconds.
[1036] I had Amanda cue it up for me. Gourley didn't even listen to me mentioned Sona.
[1037] He just cut it down to just Matt Gourley and then cut out the Sona part.
[1038] Yeah, it's my new green tone.
[1039] Yeah.
[1040] It was, no, I had an absolute blast, and it was, it was fun.
[1041] I was curious how I would feel seeing that sixth floor again because that was such a big part of my life when I did the late night show for 16 years and hadn't been there in so long.
[1042] And Jimmy's studio is 6B.
[1043] Mine was 6A.
[1044] That's where Letterman's show took place.
[1045] That's where we did our show for 16 years.
[1046] And Jimmy's across the hall in 6B.
[1047] And so it was just going right back home again.
[1048] And I just liked being there.
[1049] I enjoyed it.
[1050] And it felt good.
[1051] It felt, I didn't, I was a little, I was thinking, am I going to feel, I'm going to get in my head about going back to this place that has so many strong memories.
[1052] And I just immediately felt at home and happy to be there.
[1053] And the Tonight Show staff could not have been nicer.
[1054] It was really a good time.
[1055] People seem really excited to see you, which was nice.
[1056] You got a big standing ovation, right?
[1057] Yes, I made it, I made it clear before the show that everyone who stands will get $15 ,000.
[1058] Oh, I'll stand.
[1059] Can I stand now?
[1060] It's too late.
[1061] I've been standing for this whole segment.
[1062] That was just for that studio audience.
[1063] That's $130 ,000.
[1064] No, it was just for that studio audience.
[1065] And then I kind of, it's a little controversial.
[1066] I left without paying anyone.
[1067] Oh, no. Yeah.
[1068] And they're furious.
[1069] The whole audience is enraged.
[1070] They're looking for me. They found out where I'm staying at my hotel.
[1071] So I had to flee through the basement.
[1072] Yeah.
[1073] But no, it was nice.
[1074] It was very nice.
[1075] I had a great time.
[1076] I'm enjoying being in New York.
[1077] I like walking around.
[1078] People are very friendly.
[1079] Sona, I know you get freaked out when you come to New York just because you're not a New Yorker.
[1080] I'm not.
[1081] But I am jealous you got to see our friend Questlove at the Tonight Show, who is probably listening right now to this podcast.
[1082] Questlove is a loyal listener to the podcast.
[1083] And of course, it was a thrill.
[1084] They played my old theme when I came out.
[1085] Roots, such an amazing band.
[1086] So to hear them play that theme.
[1087] was magical.
[1088] To be in the room with those guys when they're doing their thing is an incredible treat.
[1089] And then Questlove is working on a project that he asked me to help him with afterwards.
[1090] And so I got to spend a little more time with him.
[1091] And he's such, such a delightful hang.
[1092] He knows everything about everything.
[1093] And so I'm always, and you could tell that from his his podcast appearance.
[1094] He knows everything about television and music and pop culture and it's all connected in his mind in this incredible way.
[1095] It's, uh, it's fantastic.
[1096] Yeah, he's a lovely guy.
[1097] I just want to let his brain pour all over me. Okay, that's disgusting.
[1098] Why would you say that?
[1099] That's a weird thing to say.
[1100] I don't know.
[1101] I want no, no, no, that would kill Questlove if his brain was taken from his skull and crumbled over you.
[1102] No, I'm not, I want, Questlove, if you're listening, I want you alive and well, and I'm sorry about what Matt said.
[1103] Matt wants you dead.
[1104] He wants your mind crushed and crumbled over his body.
[1105] I want his brain liquefied and just poured over me. Oh, so, oh, Questlove is going to survive that?
[1106] That's on him.
[1107] I don't know.
[1108] I can't guarantee it.
[1109] It's up to him to survive it.
[1110] Yeah, I can't guarantee that.
[1111] That's not my business.
[1112] I'm a stupid judge and I find you innocent, Matt Gleley.
[1113] I did it.
[1114] This judge finds that you were just trying to compliment Questlove.
[1115] And now a sip of Questlove's brain.
[1116] That's nice.
[1117] It's nice you're over there.
[1118] Every time I go to New York with you, people are really excited to see you.
[1119] It's like you come home, even though that's not like your home home.
[1120] I'm from Boston, which is supposed to be the storied, hated rival of New York.
[1121] But New Yorkers seem to give me a pass on that.
[1122] As long as I don't wear a Red Sox cap, they let me slide.
[1123] But it's been very nice and been walking around town with David Hopping.
[1124] I'm going to give David Hopping a shout out.
[1125] And he's fun because he doesn't.
[1126] He's just, you know, he's from Carlinville, Illinois.
[1127] And it is a very small, small town.
[1128] And every time we go to New York, you can see he's just, he's looking up at the buildings.
[1129] And he's looking at the fact that.
[1130] He's never seen a building before.
[1131] He's probably been there 30.
[1132] times.
[1133] I know.
[1134] It's still, he never gets over it.
[1135] And he's marvels that there's a sewage system and hot and cold running water.
[1136] And it's just, it's fun because he has such a different experience that when he comes to New York, it's fun to see it through his eyes.
[1137] Do you know what I mean?
[1138] Yeah.
[1139] I get it.
[1140] He thought you had to pay to take an elevator like it was a ride at Disneyland.
[1141] And I said, no, they, you don't have to, it's not a ride.
[1142] It's not, it's not Mr. Toad's wild ride.
[1143] So that's a good one.
[1144] Yeah.
[1145] He's with me right.
[1146] now.
[1147] David, why don't you come over here and just say a quick hello?
[1148] You just listen to me describe you as the ultimate hick.
[1149] How do you feel about that?
[1150] That's fine.
[1151] You're fine with it?
[1152] Yeah, you're having a good time while you're here so far?
[1153] Yeah.
[1154] Yeah.
[1155] Yeah.
[1156] Okay.
[1157] Okay.
[1158] Hi, David.
[1159] Incredible.
[1160] As you can see, he's just bowled over by his experience here.
[1161] He's monosyllabic.
[1162] He looks exactly.
[1163] I know.
[1164] He's got a lot.
[1165] He looks like a New Yorker.
[1166] I know it made David's life last night, which is David and I got back to the hotel who is sitting over in the corner, but Kaylee Cuoco, who has been a guest on our, and she's such a fantastic person.
[1167] I mean, she just is as nice a person as you can imagine and really funny.
[1168] And so I go over and I sit down with her and David's with me and David is just mesmerized.
[1169] And then you tell her that you're an insane Kaylee Cuoco fan.
[1170] Yeah, I am a big fan.
[1171] The microphone is what you're talking to.
[1172] I told her I'm a big fan.
[1173] Okay.
[1174] I don't know what your problem is.
[1175] allowed to say more than one.
[1176] I don't have a gun on you right now.
[1177] What is your problem?
[1178] He took a photo with Kaylee and he told her that he's just a massive fan and I could see Kaylee getting nervous.
[1179] I don't think she was nervous.
[1180] And then I called security and I had David taken away.
[1181] And then I had it had you beaten.
[1182] None of that.
[1183] I do there's nothing.
[1184] Okay.
[1185] That didn't happen.
[1186] No. You don't believe him.
[1187] Okay.
[1188] Well, that's good improv.
[1189] Good denying.
[1190] Good job, David.
[1191] That didn't happen.
[1192] Can we have a volunteer from the office?
[1193] audience.
[1194] Okay, we're in a candy store.
[1195] No, we're not.
[1196] Ooh.
[1197] Anyway, we saw Kaylee Cuoco.
[1198] I think that's exciting.
[1199] I've seen so many, I get excited when I see celebrities.
[1200] And my life has been interviewing them.
[1201] But when I'm somewhere and I see someone from television, I'm like, gosh, they're on TV.
[1202] Who's the most excited person you've ever met?
[1203] Wait, let me rephrase that.
[1204] Wait, what?
[1205] Who have you been most excited to see?
[1206] Thank you.
[1207] Yes.
[1208] I mean, I feel like the answer to that is your friend Eric.
[1209] Rife.
[1210] Yeah, my college roommate, Eric Rife, when I get together with him, we have the most obscure interests.
[1211] We walk around Central Park and we just lecture each other about, you know, Lyndon Johnson's press secretary.
[1212] It's the most obscure arguments that you can imagine.
[1213] Like, I got to go, Kaylee Quokal, I got to go talk about Eisenhower's second term with my friend Eric.
[1214] This sounds pretty good.
[1215] She's like, yeah, Conan, do you want to me?
[1216] get dinner or something.
[1217] I can't.
[1218] I've got to go hang out with my college roommate because we're going to talk about Dwight Eisenhower's third stroke in the White House.
[1219] He dribbled for three days before he came back around.
[1220] Everyone's coming.
[1221] Conan, everyone's going to be there.
[1222] It's going to be the coolest dinner party ever.
[1223] Yeah, Kaylee Cuoco's like, I'm telling you all the big stars are going to be there.
[1224] All these very cool, attractive stars want to meet you and hang out with you.
[1225] I can't!
[1226] I've got to go see my college roommate.
[1227] We just found out some new facts about Rutherford B. Hayes.
[1228] His foreign policy is not what you think it was, Kaylee.
[1229] Anyway, my eternal love to Kaylee Cuoco for being so cool to run into.
[1230] And yeah, let's get into it.
[1231] We've got to get on with the show.
[1232] We've got more to do.
[1233] This is the last part of the show, Conan.
[1234] This is not an intro.
[1235] You know what?
[1236] I never listened to this piece of shit.
[1237] So why would I know where it goes?
[1238] Anyway, all I wanted to do is get it out there.
[1239] Kaley Quoco seemed kind of happy to see me. And that's a huge deal in my book.
[1240] Mission accomplished.
[1241] Mission accomplished.
[1242] And cue credits.
[1243] Conan O 'Brien needs a friend with Conan O 'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gorley.
[1244] Produced by me, Matt Goorley.
[1245] Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Nick Leow, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf.
[1246] Theme song by The White Stripes.
[1247] Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.
[1248] Take it away, Jimmy.
[1249] Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.
[1250] Engineering and mixing by Eduardo Perez and Brendan Burns.
[1251] Additional production support by Mars Melnick.
[1252] Talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brick Con. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode.
[1253] Got a question for Conan?
[1254] Call the Team Coco hotline at 669 -587 -2847 and leave a message.
[1255] It too could be featured on a future episode.
[1256] And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.