MFM Minisode 178

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] My favorite murder, the minisode, where we redo your stuff that you've written us.

[2] Congratulations.

[3] You wrote it in.

[4] Thanks for doing our work for us.

[5] You did the work.

[6] Now we get the rewards.

[7] We literally couldn't do it without you.

[8] Literally, thank you so much.

[9] Do you want me to go for us?

[10] Sure.

[11] Okay.

[12] Also, we're recording this the week before it's airing anything's possible in our culture and our world right now.

[13] now.

[14] Yeah.

[15] But we hope you're safe and strong and fighting the good fight.

[16] That's right.

[17] And in the meantime, let me tell you about when Claire's great grandfather stayed sexy and was subsequently murdered because of it.

[18] Great.

[19] I went ahead and labeled this as geographically accurate as possible in case you do D .C. hometowns.

[20] While I was home in the suburbs of D .C. for Thanksgiving, I was finally able to get the story of how my mom's grandfather was murdered.

[21] For years, she was, she never spoke about it and would always change the subject when I asked.

[22] After a few glasses of wine and light prying, I finally got the story that I simply had to share it with you all.

[23] My grandfather was the youngest of nine children and his father, my great -grandfather, John, was a butcher.

[24] My family jokes that my great -grandmother married him to make sure she always had enough food for her kids.

[25] My grandma, too.

[26] Married a butcher.

[27] Hell yes.

[28] A great -grandfather John worked in Virginia as a butcher during the Great Depression, a time where, as you can imagine, no one could afford to buy meat.

[29] It is important to note that this was pre -civil rights era and Virginia was deeply segregated.

[30] This meant the people of color could only purchase meat from butchers through the side or back doors and could not go through the front door.

[31] Fuck that shit, am I right in parentheses?

[32] My great -grandfather, John, thought the rules were stupid and wanted anyone who could afford meat to feel welcome in his store.

[33] Apparently one day John was seen by some local Klansmen, quote -unquote, letting people of color come through the front door to buy meat from him.

[34] That night, the local chapter of the KKK murdered my great -grandfather outside his store while he was locking up.

[35] In a weird way, I'm extremely proud that he was murdered for being ahead of his time by not being a racist piece of shit.

[36] So while he was indeed murdered, I would also argue that he stayed sexy by not being a discriminating asshole.

[37] Oh, and don't worry about my grandfather and his eight siblings.

[38] My great -grandmother married another butcher after John's murder.

[39] Love you guys.

[40] Can't wait to see y 'all.

[41] D .C. Claire.

[42] Wow.

[43] I mean, yeah, you sacrificed your life for the greater good and this and not being a piece of shit.

[44] Like what more what more did you wish for?

[45] It's a lot more.

[46] It makes you think that maybe we should all donate 50 bucks to Black Lives Matter if we can.

[47] Why not?

[48] Or any of the associated jail fund or bail funds out there.

[49] There's lots of things you can find on social media.

[50] to be an active participant in helping this movement and the people that are that are on the front line.

[51] ACLU is a great place to do it.

[52] Okay.

[53] A lot of great ones.

[54] So I thought we'd get real dark and deep and sad and do.

[55] Someone wrote in the hometown murder of Matthew Shepard.

[56] Wow.

[57] Which somehow we've never done.

[58] It's an important story.

[59] So let's get to it.

[60] I'm from the good state of Wyoming.

[61] And for those who don't know, because I get the question a lot, Wyoming is located in the Midwest United States above Colorado.

[62] Thank you.

[63] The total population for the state is 50 ,000, which is fucking crazy.

[64] It's tiny.

[65] And is overall a laid -back state.

[66] My story is about the murder of Matthew Shepard.

[67] Matthew Shepard was born in Casper, Wyoming in 1976.

[68] He was strongly present in the theater community, attending the American School in Switzerland, Kadawaba College, Casper College, and became a first year political science major at the University of Wyoming in Laramie, with a minor.

[69] in languages.

[70] In 1995, Shepard was beaten and raped during a high school trip to Morocco.

[71] According to his mom, this caused him to suffer from extreme depression and anxiety, ultimately believed to be the reason that he returned to go to school back home.

[72] Not long after his return home on the night of October 6, 1998, I was 18, I remember this fucking clearly.

[73] Matthew was approached by Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson at the Firesaw Lodge in Laramie.

[74] All three of them whether in their early 20s, McKinney and Henderson offered to give Matthew a ride home.

[75] They drove to a remote area in Laramie, where they robbed, pistol whipped, and tortured Matthew, and then tied him to a fence and left him to die.

[76] Matthew was found 18 hours later in a coma by a biker and died six days later at the age of 21.

[77] At McKinney's November 1998 pre -trial hearing, McKinney had stated in an interview on October 9th that he and Henderson had identified Shepard as a robbery target and pretended to be gay to lure him out to their truck, and that McKinney had attacked Shepard after Shepard put his hand on McKinney's knee.

[78] Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson were charged with first -degree murder following Shepard's death.

[79] Both McKinney and Henderson were convicted of the murder and each received two consecutive life sentences.

[80] Matthew's murder brought national and international attention to hate crime legislation at the state and federal levels.

[81] In October 2009, the United States Congress passed the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. hate crimes prevention act, commonly known as the Matthew Shepard Act.

[82] And October 28th, 2009, President Barack Obama signed and established the Matthew Shepard Foundation.

[83] Shepard's death inspired films, novels, plays, and songs.

[84] Most commonly, American Triangle by Elton John and the Laramie Project, which I performed when I was in high school as my theater teacher was best.

[85] friends with Matthew.

[86] The play is all 100 interviews compiled together by Moises Kaufman.

[87] All of those were around the area of those who were around the area during the time who knew Matthew, the protesters, both good and bad, officers on the scene, and even some transcripts from trial.

[88] His dad described him as an optimistic and accepting young man who had a special gift of relating to almost everyone.

[89] He was the type of person who was very approachable and always look to new challenges.

[90] Matthew had a great passion for equality and always stood up for the acceptance of people's differences.

[91] I know this story is heavy, but with Pride Month and current events of the world, I think it's important to share as things are changing, but not changing enough.

[92] I attached a link to the Matthew Shepard Foundation, which is an LGBT nonprofit organization, headquartered in Casper, Wyoming by Dennis and Judy Shepard in the memory of Matthew.

[93] The foundation runs education, outreach, and advocacy programs should anyone want to donate stay sexy and be the voice for the voiceless ashton amazing job ashton that was great i remember so well i mean it's so horrified horrible story but also i think that's you know um they make a great point in an email which is kind of like it's pride month and that's that's the reason that that there is pride month it's like it's it's parties it's parades i mean not this year not quarantine.

[94] What will they do in quarantine?

[95] But I mean, there's there's the fun aspect, which is the which is basically living your life and celebrating your life.

[96] But then there also is like what people have had to come through in this country because they were gay and it's important to talk about it and it's important to talk about those struggles.

[97] Yeah.

[98] The subject of this email is baby Jessica's predecessor.

[99] Ooh.

[100] Now this happens a lot when we do a story or talk about one specific thing.

[101] It happens more with recommendations where you'll recommend one show and then there'll be all these people that come to me on Twitter going, have you ever watched this?

[102] And it's like, yes.

[103] I was talking about the other thing that person did.

[104] But that doesn't mean that I don't know about every other thing they've done.

[105] You would maybe want to assume I would know it.

[106] It's really hilarious to me. So these got brought up a lot, but I actually read about all of these because this story of somebody caught trapped in a place in capturing the imagination of America has happened well there were two big ones before baby Jessica and so this is one of when I saw this I was like oh great because now someone's done the work for me okay and it will look like I'm a weird trapped in a well obsessive which we all know you are which I am now imagine if there was a pervert trapped in a well in a fucking sinkhole inside of a well and he's a pervert he's a pervert but he's perverted for treasure just like me Baby Jessica's predecessor.

[107] Hey, Queens, I just finished your May 7th episode symbolic violins.

[108] And I was struck by the similarities between baby Jessica's story and something that happened back in 1925.

[109] Have you read about Floyd Collins?

[110] Yes, I have.

[111] Fair warning.

[112] It's not a happy ending.

[113] I don't think I know this one.

[114] It's pretty amazing.

[115] In the early 20th century, Kentucky went through a period known as the Cave Wars, where explorers were constantly competing to commercialize the biggest and best cave system.

[116] underground, which is hilarious.

[117] Do you remember the mystery spot up in Northern California?

[118] Yeah.

[119] I know the stickers.

[120] I don't know the spot.

[121] Yeah.

[122] The bumper stickers you see all the time.

[123] Yeah.

[124] They're so cool.

[125] They're the original ones from the 50s because my, there's a classic picture of my dad's family.

[126] They lived in the Sunset District in San Francisco, nine Irish kids.

[127] And apparently their kitchen table or their dining room table where they all ate had bedrooms boarded.

[128] And they had bedrooms, bordering the room.

[129] I'm sure it was just a tiny house.

[130] So like, so behind, there's one picture my dad showed me. He goes, hey, that was my bedroom.

[131] And it's them sitting at the dinner table, but behind them is a bedroom door with a mystery spot bumper sticker on the door.

[132] Oh, my God.

[133] So long ago.

[134] Yeah.

[135] I know.

[136] It's like literally from like 1958.

[137] Okay.

[138] Anyway, that was just a personal brag that I knew about the mystery spot.

[139] But I just love this idea.

[140] This is like, this was early entertainment for like early America.

[141] Go to a cave.

[142] Caves.

[143] No, we have a better cave.

[144] Like the cave wars.

[145] Okay.

[146] I'm into it.

[147] Floyd had already had some moderate success with his crystal cave, but it was remote and he was super ambitious.

[148] He wanted to open a cave closer to the public and make a pretty penny.

[149] So he made an agreement to open up a new option called Sand Cave on his neighbor's property and share the profits.

[150] While he was working, parentheses crawling through a all caps literal hole.

[151] in the ground in order to widen the passengers passageways and parentheses close parentheses a falling rock pinned his left leg and trapped him 150 feet underground stuck in a freaking crawl space with his lamp extinguished and no food or water he was found the next day by his family and friends who sent him crackers to eat and an electric lamp for light and warmth he managed to survive underground for more than a week while the folks above organizing organized rescue options.

[152] A local journalist, Skeets Miller.

[153] Skeets Miller reported daily on the rescue efforts.

[154] He was a smallish dude, so he was able to crawl down into the hole for an interview with Floyd.

[155] Whoa.

[156] In parentheses, all caps.

[157] An underground interview.

[158] Come on, journalism.

[159] I hope they gave him fucking opium, too, because I mean, what a bomber.

[160] For real.

[161] That's such a nice idea.

[162] Here, Floyd put this in your cheek and just let it dissolve.

[163] He was even able to dig a lot of the earth away from Floyd's body in an attempt to aid rescuers.

[164] His reports were distributed and printed in papers all across the country, which led to a national interest in Floyd's situation.

[165] Radio broadcasts and news bulletins drew unimaginable crowds to the scene, and the grounds above the cave were covered with vendors, reporters, and thousands of tourists.

[166] It was the third biggest media event of its time.

[167] It was a goddamn circus complete with popcorn.

[168] Unfortunately, the cave passage suffered a collapse in two places during rescue attempts.

[169] Maybe because all the fucking popcorn makers and tourists are above him.

[170] I think this was back before people understood that you could absolutely set a perimeter and people will stand wherever you say.

[171] You don't have to let him come right up to the mouth of the hole.

[172] Right.

[173] Which is the same thing as the mouth and the hole.

[174] Leaders tried to dig a lateral tunnel above Floyd, but by the time his body, body was reached he had already died of exposure they left his body there and filled the shaft with debris while the whole mess of media and tourists quickly dispersed two months later floyd's brother homer ended up digging a new tunnel on the opposite side of the cave passage to retrieve his body and give him a proper burial that's and if that wasn't enough in 1927 Floyd's father sold the homestead and the cave and the new owner all caps displayed Floyd's body in a glass -topped coffin inside Crystal Cave.

[175] Two years later, yeah, his fucking body was stolen.

[176] When it was recovered, the injured left leg was missing.

[177] Jesus, just let the dude rest in peace.

[178] The reason I know so much about a man dying in a Kentucky cave, it's a musical.

[179] It's called Floyd Collins, and it was the first show I did with Syracuse University's musical theater program.

[180] I won't force feed you any of the videos of me in the show.

[181] I wish you would.

[182] Love that.

[183] I won't force feed you any videos of me in the show, but I will share with you this Spotify link to one of the most beautifully heartbreaking songs I've ever heard.

[184] It's called How Glory Goes.

[185] This is Floyd stuck in the cave contemplating what heaven will be like when he gets there.

[186] Oh my God.

[187] Wow.

[188] Anyway, I live in Manhattan, which means I've barely left my apartment since mid -March.

[189] I've taken to climbing all the stairs in my building for exercise.

[190] And the only thing that gets me through the torture is your podcast.

[191] Thank you for all the incredible.

[192] incredible philanthropic work you do and for always making me laugh out loud love Victoria Philanthropic Philanthropic that's so nice that is nice thank you like we're in the Philharmonic I always George I didn't know you played the obo great that's a great one like if you're like Karen do you know this one just send the hometown instead and like you describe it I love the like follow ups you know like oh well actually my mother -in -law was there the thing you're telling and here's her experience and here's a story you didn't know about that.

[193] Those are great.

[194] It's like a telephone game through the podcast where it's like, you know, you mentioned Floyd being stuck in a cave?

[195] Well, there was also.

[196] It's the best.

[197] Right.

[198] Those are great.

[199] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[200] Absolutely.

[201] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[202] Exactly.

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[205] That's right.

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[214] Connect with customers in line and online.

[215] Do retail right with Shopify.

[216] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.

[217] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.

[218] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.

[219] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[220] Goodbye.

[221] Okay.

[222] I'm not going to read the subject line.

[223] Okay.

[224] Hey there, ladies.

[225] And happy almost birthday to my birthday twin Georgia it's me oh okay here goes so we're a little early with almost birthday well this is for next week though so that's fine oh wait today is my birthday considering if this is going up next Monday so today's our birthday me and Kendall really are you sure no your birthday June 8 yeah isn't next week June 8 next Monday is yeah next Monday is June 8 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha it's canceled this year I'm donating my birthday to anyone who needs it I didn't even think to do the forward time math of being the one that says happy birthday to you at the top of the show next year in Paris oh we're going to have a birthday bash on the Eiffel Tower okay happy birthday we love you Georgia thank you happy birthday candle too um oh yeah okay here guys In the early 2000s, a couple in my town will call them Rich and Diane were going through a bitter divorce and there were disputes over the rock quarry that they owned together, which rock quarries in any fucking disappearance story, red flags, yeah, not good, not good.

[226] As well as custody of their two daughters who were splitting time between each parent's house.

[227] One evening, Rich brought his daughters to Diane's house to stay for the week, but when they get there, they realize she was gone, like Dun disappeared gone.

[228] No sign of her and no indication that she took.

[229] anything witcher, which was of course very suspicious.

[230] Fast forward two years and she's still missing and rumors are swirling around our small town because it's always the husband, right?

[231] Right.

[232] But Rich has an alibi and have been cleared by the cops.

[233] Due to Diane's disappearance, Rich got all rights to the rock quarry and was still running it like before.

[234] One day he and his business partner were digging near a damaged well and they hit a large chunk of concrete which shouldn't have been there.

[235] Which they thought was really curious.

[236] They kept digging and uncovered a dead dog.

[237] Okay, that's even weirder, they thought, and then they pulled up a chunk of concrete with a human hand sticking out of it.

[238] Yep, they accidentally dug up Diane's discarded body.

[239] It took the police a while to unravel the mystery, but it turns out that Diane was seeing a much younger man that worked at their quarry at the time of her disappearance, and they went on a date to go sight in some rifles, and this says small town shit.

[240] Turns out the guy ended up accidentally shooting her in the head in his truck as they were getting out and he freaked out and didn't think anyone would believe him, so he dismembered and hid her body on the very quarry that she owned.

[241] Unfortunately, he wasn't a prime spot picker and ended up getting caught in his recklessness.

[242] It turned out to be Diane's pet dog that was buried above her to throw off anyone digging.

[243] He must have gotten this idea by watching really bad true crime TV shows like my sister and I used to because this is how I found out my sister was a murderer when we were kids when she casually told me, quote if you want to hide a body just bury it standing up and put a dead dog above it to throw off whoever is digging what the fuck cassie you're nine although i see this story you can come into my room that's right cassie you're cool although i think this story disproves that theory and shows that anything can happen to solve a cold case when you least expect it sSDGM kendall wow yeah and also that the husband had to find his own missing yeah and was of course a suspect.

[244] Right.

[245] I mean, I'm sure, some people still think he had something to do with it because it's so suspicious, but.

[246] Right.

[247] All right.

[248] So I'm going to, I'm going to turn.

[249] I'm going to now take another left turn for us.

[250] Let's do it.

[251] And the subject line of this email is a classic MFF perv.

[252] Hi, everybody.

[253] We love those guys.

[254] Hi, everybody.

[255] For your consideration, I am submitting this entry for inclusion in the lengthy canon of MFM pervs.

[256] He didn't jerk off with cheese that I know of, but I think he's still worthy.

[257] Okay.

[258] Oh my God.

[259] I love it.

[260] This guy, we should have done a purve trigger warning before, for anybody that lives in children.

[261] Yeah, yeah, that's true.

[262] This could be really not that big of a deal.

[263] This guy terrorized my hometown of Newark, Delaware.

[264] So it might not be pronounced Newark because, you know, how they do the state to state name change things.

[265] Yeah, they love to do that.

[266] They love them to do what I'm going to do the New Jersey pronunciation.

[267] Newark, Delaware, when I was a student at the university there, in August of 2010, he started.

[268] breaking into the houses of female students and making his way to their bedrooms where he would proceed to get under the covers and start spooning them.

[269] Oh, God.

[270] When the girls woke up to the random -ass stranger cuddling them, he would flee into the night.

[271] Naturally, the town was quickly ablaze with rumor and suspicion about a man who became known as the Newark Knapper.

[272] Fortunately, one day a police officer saw the napper walking down the street and recognized his face from a composite sketch made from victim accounts.

[273] Oh my God.

[274] Working all the time.

[275] He was arrested and charged with burglary, unlawful sexual contact, and offensive touching.

[276] As far as I know, he was convicted because the attack stopped as quickly as they began.

[277] When the Napper's identity was revealed, I was shocked to discover that I had once hung out with him.

[278] Fuck.

[279] Small towns.

[280] That was a real, I didn't see that coming.

[281] I love small towns.

[282] He played in the University Jazz Ensemble.

[283] Oh, of course.

[284] Get your trombone.

[285] child.

[286] What do you think is happening?

[287] Take your elbow and shove it and get the hell out of my bed.

[288] That's right.

[289] He played in the University Jazz Ensemble with a good friend of mine.

[290] One night, my roommates and I had a party and that friend brought a few of his jazz bandmates.

[291] I have a vivid memory of being in my living room and the person I would later learn was the Newark Knapper bursting into song, singing several a cappella verses of some Brazilian Basanova tune.

[292] I remember thinking, huh, this guy seems a little off.

[293] And how?

[294] This is one of the most beautifully written hometowns we've gotten ever.

[295] It's good shit.

[296] Such a good job.

[297] Okay.

[298] Anyway, thanks for reading and for creating something as reliably entertaining as this podcast.

[299] You guys are hilarious.

[300] Also, shout out to my wife, Kate, who's been listening to MFM for years and told me several times that I needed to start.

[301] She was right per usual.

[302] Oh, good job.

[303] Stay sexy.

[304] And if someone starts singing Brazilian acapella at your college party, call the fucking FBI, Mike.

[305] nice one right it's not an overreaction just do it it's the real deal anytime acapella comes up in a non -acapella festival situation absolutely it is your right listen if you're like if you're gonna go to asphalt on the green or whatever and go to the a cappella fucking concert fine sing it but not at a fucking college party if it's a voluntary thing you bought tickets for because you just love pitch perfect so much as a film And that's on you.

[306] No. If someone brings acapella into your natural environs, then you get to absolutely.

[307] How about unprompted acapella?

[308] Is it fucking a crime?

[309] Sorry.

[310] Okay.

[311] Here's my last one.

[312] So sorry.

[313] Sorry that we're right.

[314] I'm sorry about your party.

[315] Okay.

[316] This one's a meat cute.

[317] Okay.

[318] This one, I'm not going to read the title, but the beginning starts spooky quarantine, which I guess is the new thing.

[319] It would go spooky quarantine.

[320] Yeah, yeah.

[321] I just heard you lovely ladies discussing all the reasons never to go in a balcony at a party.

[322] But I have one.

[323] I was living in Baltimore in my early 20s in a cute little row home when my roommates and I decided to host a Fourth of July barbecue.

[324] We each invited people and threw a crazy series of serendipitous events, a man from Alabama who was living in my home city of Philly, ended up at a party with a friend, neither of them really knowing anyone.

[325] we all went up to the roof deck to watch the fireworks, we sat on the deck railing and struck up a conversation about how much we love Philadelphia.

[326] With that, he fell backwards off the railing.

[327] Falling flat off.

[328] He's fine.

[329] Falling flat on the roof next door, about a 10 -foot drop.

[330] Oh, shit.

[331] I immediately burst into tears convinced I would be charged in the death of a complete stranger at my house.

[332] But he popped up, dusted himself off, and asked me out to the bar.

[333] Oh!

[334] The rest is history.

[335] We've been.

[336] been married for two years and had our first child a few months ago.

[337] So moral the story, if you're going to go to the deck at a party, it better be to meet your spouse.

[338] SSDGM and stay the fuck home, Anna.

[339] Anna.

[340] You know, that's sweet.

[341] You know what I'm going to.

[342] I hope that they got married on both of those roofs.

[343] He stood on the lower room.

[344] Oh, my God, if you proposed from the lower roof and got down to one.

[345] Listen, remember when we went through the hardest thing in your life and not that big.

[346] of a deal to me let's make it how about let's I fell for you falling in love with you and I can't get up out of love with you so please marry I can't get out of love with you because I'm an old 78 year old woman in my own kitchen emotionally emotionally for you yes send help get a strong neighbor to come by and pick up my body that's how hard I've fallen for you that was great it's you know it's funny after we talked about those porch things because we were going oh was it this one no it was that one yeah yeah it was there's been so many there's been so many over the years it's there's and I'm sure in every single city yeah every like horrible I feel like every party city that you can think of there's been a balcony collapse and I bet you at a two story party city there's been one as well that's right at every party city from all over the across this fine land I feel like this quarantine I've missed party city the most out of everything they've missed if you could go back and do one thing i would go to party city and lick all the balloons pre -core i just amiss corona i wish i could go to the poorly named sioux plantation and just stick my hands in those garbons of bean tubs squish them around i love doing that i love i wish that i could get take a couple pieces of pizza with my bare hand and then change my mind and put them back with the different with the other bear hand hand.

[347] That's right.

[348] Just in case.

[349] I want to touch all the toothpicks before I figure out which toothpick I want to use on my teeth.

[350] That was the first in this quarantine, the first time I went grocery shopping, I would stand there and look at everything because I always do want to kind of like touch things or at least check expirations dates.

[351] Sure.

[352] And I would just stand there staring and then grab something really fast.

[353] You can't touch it.

[354] You can't touch things like you used to and then just put them back.

[355] And one time I actually found a bunch of apples and picked four.

[356] them out and then realized that the better apples were over right behind me. So I went over to the produce guy and I was like, hey, I just picked these and I don't want to put them back.

[357] And the guy goes, it's fine.

[358] Put him back.

[359] He was so over it.

[360] He's just like, lady.

[361] Just put him back.

[362] If you care, if you're like that conscientious, then you probably, you probably wash your hands regularly.

[363] He knew that I'd wash my hands at my home.

[364] I did the old Purell in the car.

[365] I'm not trying to spread misinformation but.

[366] Yeah, but still.

[367] stay home, stay safe, stay strong, cool and strong.

[368] Oh, stay cool for sure.

[369] And stay in school conceptually, but we know that most of you are out of school.

[370] In the fall, if you can, but otherwise, do it from online at home.

[371] Yeah, there's also great courses.

[372] Amazon Prime.

[373] But mostly stay sexy.

[374] Don't get murdered.

[375] Goodbye.

[376] Elvis, do you want a cookie?