The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett XX
[0] Did you know that the DariVosio now has its own channel exclusively on Samsung TV Plus?
[1] And I'm excited to say that we've partnered with Samsung TV to bring this to life, and the channel is available in the UK, the Netherlands, Germany and Austria.
[2] Samsung TV Plus is a free streaming service available to all owners of Samsung Smart TVs and Galaxy mobiles and tablets.
[3] And along with the Dyeravisio channel, you'll find hundreds of more channels with entertainment for everyone all for free on Samsung TV plus.
[4] So if you own a Samsung TV, tune in now and watch the Dyer of a Cio channel.
[5] right now.
[6] You said something which is, you know, find that thing within you that you can be the best at, the thing that you enjoy, et cetera, et cetera.
[7] When I say that to people, they always say to me, but Steve, how?
[8] How do I find the thing?
[9] How do I find my purpose?
[10] Is it just I sit down with myself and make a list?
[11] Do I meditate?
[12] Yeah, I mean, I literally went through, there's two books.
[13] Zen and the Art of Making a Living.
[14] I would recommend to people.
[15] It's still available.
[16] And there's a book called What Color?
[17] is your parachute.
[18] They're quite corporate, both of them.
[19] Even Zen and the art of making a living is quite corporate, but it's basically you write essays about yourself.
[20] And it's a workbook.
[21] It's like a big, chunky workbook.
[22] I did both of them.
[23] And for me, I kind of then slightly threw it away and went, show business, baby.
[24] But it's interesting of like knowing yourself.
[25] Like, who really knows you?
[26] Your friends probably know you.
[27] Ask them.
[28] Ask them what they think.
[29] It's an interesting sort of process to kind of go, like and you could be a ripe old age and this would still apply like do you know who you are how you're perceived and who you really are what you feel like because it's it's that thing where you've got like those personality tests online are not dumb to do you know that that what's the brakes or no no there's a Jordan Peterson one understanding myself like a hundred questions and it tells you things that's that's worth I had a crack at that recently and really enjoyed it like because you get the results and go I agree with that or I don't so I that that's surprising.
[30] It's interesting.
[31] It's almost like a, a horoscope.
[32] Like everyone likes their horoscope, right, because everyone's a little bit egotistical and like, oh, I wonder what it says about me. And I think those personality tests kind of can be very, very useful for going, well, how are you going to find your edge?
[33] What's the thing you enjoy?
[34] Is it being with people?
[35] Is it on your own?
[36] Are you introverted, extroverted?
[37] That Myers -Briggs thing might lead you in a direction of going, well, I can't be.
[38] I'm not going to be a salesman.
[39] I'm going to be, And these are jobs we're talking about as opposed to something beyond that, like a purpose, a career, an entrepreneurial spirit.
[40] People find that.
[41] So I've done the Myers -Briggs.
[42] I've done this.
[43] I've done the Jordan Peterson test.
[44] And it's clear that my passion is X. But I'm in that job unthinking, as you describe it.
[45] And I've got mortgage to pay.
[46] I've got, you know, bills.
[47] Well, I mean, that thing of like, I nearly fell into that trap.
[48] I was, like, the things you own end up owning you.
[49] Like, there's nothing you can buy in the mall that you give a fuck about in five years' time.
[50] There's nothing.
[51] Like, in the early phase of your life, I don't fucking buy anything.
[52] Because it's like, you know, the things you own end up owning you.
[53] Like, the payments on a sports car nearly stopped me going into comedy.
[54] Because you go, well, what ties you down?
[55] If I bought a house in, you know, the 90s when I was, you know, working for Shell, I would have been a great investment and I never would have left because you're paying that mortgage, you're doing that thing.
[56] What do you need?
[57] you know what do you need the money for what are you using the money for you know when you take away the commute you take away the um the lunch that you're buying and the night out the weekend and a couple of drinks to you know because you need some fun it's it's it's amazing how little when i first year in comedy i made literally no money i mean literally nothing first money i got was 80 pounds in cash for going to driving five hours to plymouth and back but had a little bit saved i had this like five grand from shell and i was living at my mums uh initially so it was like it's fine i had enough You know that amazing story about Kurt Vonnegut and Joseph Heller?
[58] There are a party in New York, and the party's fucking incredible, right?
[59] It's in the Hamptons, right?
[60] So the guys, he's married to a supermodel, he's got warhols, he's got Picasso's, the house is unbelievable, like the Wolf of Wall Street party.
[61] They're incredible, amazing party, everyone's there.
[62] And Kurt Vonnegut, incredible writer, says to Joseph Heller, this guy made more money one day last week than you made out a catch -22 like laughs at him and Joseph fella goes yeah but I got something he'll never have enough what's enough what's enough for you what's enough what's the there's two things going on right there's safety and security right there's our caveman thing of like going right we need to be secure that's about a bear not attacking right we feel pretty secure in our worlds right and then scarcity is about, it's another caveman thing of like going, okay, so we need to collect some stuff because winter is coming, so we need some, we need some coin, we need a little bit of gold to take care of us.
[63] How much is enough?
[64] I mean, there's going to be a trillionaire.
[65] Next five years, there's going to be someone's going to be a trillionaire.
[66] It's going to be in the news.
[67] You know why?
[68] Because a billion wasn't enough.
[69] And the millionaires and a billionaires trillionaires, but they're working for money.
[70] The money is the, is the important thing.
[71] It's the, that's the whole centre of their being.
[72] It's interesting, because as I reflect on my childhood, I was clearly that one of the big drivers for my success was insecurity, broke family, black hidden in all white school, parents were never in the house, I'm going to school every day with fucking staying trousers and staying t -shirts and no money.
[73] So like this deep insecurity must have been like sort of burnt into me that like, if you get money, Steve, then, you won't feel ashamed anymore.
[74] It's interesting.
[75] I think it's a really interesting point because as someone that lost their faith, I think fame and fortune are the secular heaven.
[76] Like we get rich and famous and everything's okay.
[77] There's no problems when you're rich and famous.
[78] That's what I thought.
[79] Everything's fine.
[80] Well, of course, because it is like a, if you think about like legacy now becomes the afterlife.
[81] Yeah.
[82] And fame and fortune become the recognition.
[83] of people that we don't know becomes a type of heaven.
[84] So I think that's a, it's a perfectly rational thing to, you know, are you moving towards something or away from something?
[85] Well, in an ideal world, it's kind of a mix of the two.
[86] And at what stage do you personally, and I think probably if I was, I'm not a psychotherapist, but I would say you need to build some ritual around it.
[87] And I'm sure you did when you sold your company or left, but build some ritual, have a trip, do something shamanic and go, we did it.
[88] We're okay.
[89] We have enough.
[90] Yeah.
[91] And now focus on towards something.
[92] Yeah.
[93] But that's like that part of your life is kind of over now, right?
[94] It's like the, the, what was that thing for you?
[95] What was the...
[96] Trying to, trying to escape pain and get to a point of, I guess, freedom.
[97] And freedom is a very psychological thing.
[98] It's the freedom from shame, freedom from not being able to, freedom from having to do things you don't want to do.
[99] And I think really freedom from shame, I think that's probably at the very heart of it.
[100] Oh, that's...
[101] I think that's what it is.
[102] It's very deep, man, because it's that thing where you go, I feel empathetic towards the younger you.
[103] That's like a tough thing to have to go through.
[104] But you go kind of great, kind of great.
[105] Look at how far you got on away from.
[106] Yeah.
[107] Without even the towards, without even the amazing kind of, you know, and it's like, well, next, that's a, it's a sad story, but then you, you look at people that got given everything and have done nothing because they had no sense of purpose.
[108] They had no fire under them.
[109] They had no, I think, yeah, it's, it's, it's kind of an inspiring story.
[110] But then it's, you know, there's no, I suppose it's like, what's going to motivate you next?
[111] What's going to be the thing that you go, you know, what do I want to do?
[112] And this is exactly it.
[113] So you think about how important purposes for people to feel stabilized and fulfilled, et cetera, as we've talked about earlier.
[114] And then you think about these people that are, they're striving for a million, a billion, a trillion.
[115] Well, think about what a midlife crisis is, right?
[116] So I talk a lot about midlife crisis in the book.
[117] And you go, well, midlife crisis is someone that's found their purpose and they've done their thing.
[118] And then they've gone, is this it?
[119] Yeah.
[120] Is this it?
[121] And then they want something like excitement.
[122] So what do they buy?
[123] Sports car.
[124] Is it exciting?
[125] I don't fucking know.
[126] I mean, maybe.
[127] I mean, if you're super into cars, I guess it's good.
[128] But like, it's all advertising speaks to this, right?
[129] I know I'm right, because all advertising ever is about, it's no longer about the functionality of the product.
[130] It's about the, well, what, what do you want?
[131] You want to feel like, self -esteem.
[132] Like, self -esteem, great, Rolls -Royce.
[133] You want excitement?
[134] We've got Ferraris for you.
[135] You want to get your dick -suck?
[136] We've got a Porsche.
[137] Whatever the thing is, you know, you got that, that kind of, there's a different one, and they're playing on different emotions.
[138] And I think being aware of, I mean, I come back to it all the time.
[139] What do you want is the fundamental question?
[140] Like, in any scenario, when you sit down to eat, what do you want?
[141] What do you want from life?
[142] What do you want?
[143] What's the thing that you want?
[144] And often it's often asking that question multiple times because the first answer tends to be...
[145] Bullshit.
[146] Well, I think wishing Wells work.
[147] Right?
[148] But they don't work when you think they work.
[149] it's nothing to there's no magic the magic is if there is any knowing what to wish for knowing what that thing is you know someone says i want a million pounds you go you don't know what you fucking want you want you want tokens for things that you might want in the future what do you want what are you doing what are you trying to be who are you trying to become did you know that the diary of a CEO now has its own channel exclusively on Samsung TV plus and I'm excited to say that we've partnered with Samsung TV to bring this to life and the channel is available in the UK, the Netherlands, Germany, and Austria.
[150] Samsung TV Plus is a free streaming service available to all owners of Samsung Smart TVs and Galaxy mobiles and tablets, and along with the Dyer of a CO channel, you'll find hundreds of more channels with entertainment for everyone all for free on Samsung TV Plus.
[151] So if you own a Samsung TV, tune in now and watch the Dyer of a CEO channel right now.