Taraji P. Henson

[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert.

[1] I'm Dan Shepardam, joined by a New Year's E's Mouse with a little party hat on.

[2] Eating some cheese.

[3] Eating some celebratory cheese.

[4] Happy New Year's to everybody.

[5] Happy New Year's armchair is this year, 2024 will mark our sixth year on air.

[6] On planet Earth.

[7] Well, a little longer on Earth.

[8] No record of it, though.

[9] That's the problem.

[10] You're right.

[11] You're right.

[12] Six years.

[13] We have a wonderful guest today.

[14] Raji P. Henson.

[15] Oh, what a firecracker.

[16] We love Taraji so much.

[17] She is an Academy Award nominated actor.

[18] We loved her in Hidden Figures, Empire, the curious case of Benjamin Button.

[19] Not many people could be the mom of Brad Pitt, but she did it.

[20] A BP.

[21] Hustle and Flow, what men want.

[22] And she is out in the movie right now that everyone is loving that spectacular, the color purple, the musical version.

[23] Yes.

[24] I said this in the fact.

[25] check, but it should be said now for people who don't listen.

[26] And if you don't listen, boo humbug.

[27] Boo humbug.

[28] To you.

[29] But I think this is a great episode to start the year because she's very positive and optimistic.

[30] And I love her attitude.

[31] Me too.

[32] Me too.

[33] She is the perfect spirit for 2024.

[34] Yes.

[35] Wait, do you know one thing?

[36] You know how I changed the color of my background to the pantone color of the year do you know this yeah yes you are very religious did you just gave me a thumbs up on the screen listen hold on this happened to me the other day i was facetiming someone and a thumbs up here i don't know what do you think it's because it's reading like do you think someone's hacked your oh my if i do a thumbs up it can see that and then it does an emoji let me see if when i do it It does.

[37] No. No. Oh, oh, my God.

[38] You're on a special.

[39] What are you on?

[40] You're just on a laptop, right?

[41] I'm on my phone.

[42] Oh, well, that makes more sense.

[43] Because earlier when we fact -checked, you were on your computer.

[44] I was, yeah.

[45] And I was like, that old -ass thing is doing, reading your hand and putting emojis on screen.

[46] That seems improbable.

[47] I'm still shocked that my phone can do it.

[48] Me too, but 2024.

[49] Welcome.

[50] Oh, AI.

[51] City.

[52] This means that I have changed my phone to a very beautiful peach.

[53] Oh, oh, yes, yes.

[54] But did you not have a story about when you changed it three weeks ago?

[55] Not a verbal story, an Instagram story.

[56] Oh, yeah.

[57] I posted that it was announced.

[58] The color was announced, but now it's happened.

[59] Oh, okay.

[60] It wasn't a screenshot of your screensaver.

[61] No. Okay.

[62] Are you willing to share that with everyone?

[63] A screenshot in my screensaver?

[64] Of course.

[65] Yes, this is so boring.

[66] It's out now.

[67] It's out on my stories right now, everyone.

[68] Go look.

[69] Go check it out.

[70] All right.

[71] Please enjoy Taraji.

[72] Call me on Instagram.

[73] Taraji P. Henson.

[74] He's an object spread.

[75] Is the air on?

[76] No. It's hot.

[77] Oh, wow.

[78] I am.

[79] It is.

[80] She's always cold.

[81] I'm always chilly.

[82] It's always hot, but I just cold points like, do I need these or what?

[83] It's up to you.

[84] You don't have to.

[85] I can explain in boring detail why we prefer it.

[86] If you do it, I'll do it.

[87] Oh, I like, that's the spirit.

[88] I've ended up a lot of places with that sentence being stated versus you do it, I'll do it.

[89] I'm not up on the other side of the world.

[90] Yeah, you know what I like it is.

[91] It blocks out.

[92] It blocks out everything.

[93] And also, I'll end up talk.

[94] to you.

[95] I already talk loud, too loud.

[96] It's all good.

[97] When my wife and I first started dating at one point, she said, turn around for a second.

[98] Where is the volume knob on you?

[99] You're like, I need to turn you down to seven or something.

[100] So how deep into this tour are you?

[101] A few weeks.

[102] We started just before Thanksgiving.

[103] Everything is a blur now.

[104] We started here.

[105] We did New York.

[106] We've been to London.

[107] And when you say, are you going with the other cast members?

[108] Yeah.

[109] It's usually our director, Blitz Bosz, Aloula, Daniel Brooks, Fantasia, myself, you know, the three cork women.

[110] Coleman Domingo, you know, he's having an incredible year.

[111] I can do 10 on him.

[112] Earmark that.

[113] I want to do 10 on him.

[114] Yeah.

[115] So, you know, he comes and goes when he can because he's very busy.

[116] Sure, sure.

[117] Does he bring the thunder when he rolls in that?

[118] Oh, I love him.

[119] Oh, good.

[120] He's just so nurturing and he just so careful with you.

[121] Oh.

[122] Just in life, you know.

[123] It doesn't have to do anything with work or being on set.

[124] This is just who this man is, and it's so infectious.

[125] I just love him.

[126] I love this entire.

[127] You know, Blitz text me on the way here.

[128] Blitz sent me a picture of us yesterday when we received our critics' choice, and Getty took a picture.

[129] And look at the laughter.

[130] Hold on you already won an award?

[131] Yeah.

[132] No, the movie's not out yet, is it?

[133] I know.

[134] The critics get to see things sooner.

[135] They saw a year ago.

[136] Look at the joy Look at the joy That's lovely And he said, I just love us That's literally the energy That was on the set every day It's incredible Have you seen it yet?

[137] I saw it last time Yeah, yeah, yeah That energy and the chemistry It's real Well, I'm gonna add a word rhythm too It can be literal Because it is a musical But there's also a cohesion in the spirit Ooh, you hit on something That gave me chills because I was just having this conversation with my makeup artist on the way here because we saw 10 -10 on the, and we're very spiritual Virgo's.

[138] And we looked up what 10 -10 meant and it's just like you're walking in your purpose, just be patient.

[139] Your words are powerful.

[140] Be careful what you speak.

[141] And if you see 10 -10 all the time, then you're in alignment.

[142] It broke down 101, 10, 10010.

[143] It broke it down so many ways.

[144] But anyway, one of the things she was saying was the synergy in the spirit and how Blitz hand -picked all of us.

[145] The studio didn't want us.

[146] Come on.

[147] We were not their top picks, none of us.

[148] Not even Danielle Brooks, who's been on Broadway.

[149] Well, actually, Fantasia was, Scott.

[150] Our producer did call on her, and she was like, no. She didn't want to do it because when you take on these characters that have been so traumatized and if it's kind of parallel to yours, it opens up your wounds that maybe you felt like you've healed and it's hard to carry that person's cross and yours.

[151] Yeah, well, there's a few things there.

[152] Yeah, do you want to spend time in that zone?

[153] Other additional issue, you're on very hollowed ground.

[154] You're taking on a character that will be won an Oscar for, I believe, right?

[155] The film got like 13 nominations.

[156] I don't think anyone won.

[157] I can't remember.

[158] Don't quote me. Let's look it up.

[159] An intimidating role to take it.

[160] Even though now the genre is different, and this is a musical version of the color purple, I'm nervous to step into something that was done perfectly if I'm someone else, or maybe not.

[161] Well, I'll tell you like this.

[162] When I got the call, my manager called me during the pandemic, and he was like, you're being tapped to play Shugabran.

[163] I was like, what the fuck?

[164] Why are we?

[165] What?

[166] Why are we doing?

[167] That's a classic.

[168] Don't touch it.

[169] Yeah, 1985, we did it.

[170] But then Blitz broke down how he saw it.

[171] And one thing that stood out for me, and that literally sealed the deal for me wanting to do it, was it was a black man telling the story this time.

[172] So we were owning our narrative.

[173] And the fact that he saw something in me. trust the universe because I remember, go with me here.

[174] Stephanie Elaine produced Hustle and Flow that sang the hook to the rap song.

[175] Yeah, you did.

[176] Saw it out here for a Pimp.

[177] Right.

[178] Sang it at the Oscars.

[179] Trying to get Della out of 15th century.

[180] Just singing at the Oscars.

[181] Just singing at the Oscars in the song won.

[182] No sweat.

[183] Right.

[184] So Stephanie Elaine is married to Stephen Bray.

[185] Stephen Bray did the music on Broadway and the music in this film.

[186] Stephen Bray tapped me years ago to do it on Broadway and I turned it down.

[187] Because?

[188] Because I trained in a musical theater.

[189] I know what it takes for your voice to stand eight shows of weeks, singing at that capacity.

[190] It's all you can do.

[191] You can't chat at dinner.

[192] You can't talk to anyone else.

[193] I wasn't ready for that.

[194] I couldn't.

[195] I knew my voice wouldn't survive.

[196] Also, what year was this?

[197] Oh, God.

[198] I can't even remember.

[199] 20 years ago.

[200] Oh, that long ago.

[201] Like that long ago.

[202] Okay.

[203] It's not that you were working also so feverishly in other things.

[204] It was just the commitment you knew.

[205] I was like, I will shred my vocal cords.

[206] And singing is not my first passion.

[207] Like, I'm not as confident in it as I am in my acting.

[208] You know, my acting is natural to me. These anointed voices, like Fantasia, can probably wake up and just go.

[209] Let a rip.

[210] Baby, I have to go warm up the pipes.

[211] I got to get the dust off.

[212] I rip my tea and honey.

[213] You know, there are things I have to do.

[214] And I think a lot of it, too, is in my head.

[215] And I don't work at it enough.

[216] So the natural thing is to second guess yourself.

[217] Of course.

[218] But what I was saying about Blitz and how he, He handpicked us.

[219] Oh, he fought for us.

[220] And when you hear all of our stories, it is spiritual because all of us have a 360 story about how we got into this.

[221] Danielle and Fantasia on Broadway.

[222] Danielle and Corey Hawkins went to Juilliard together.

[223] Corey was the first person cast.

[224] Corey called Scott because he was in, what's the other musical that Scott produced?

[225] The Heights.

[226] The Heights.

[227] So he got naturally cast first because he worked with Scott on that.

[228] Sure.

[229] He called Scott and said, I'm grateful to do this part, but you got to do me in favor.

[230] You got to hire Daniel.

[231] How he picked me and saw me and my story, I turned it down.

[232] And that's the thing.

[233] When something is meant for you, it is yours.

[234] No one can take it from you.

[235] I ran from Shug.

[236] 20 years later, she was like, ah, ah, no, no, we have unfinished business.

[237] You know, and it was in the genre where I could really give it my all and not risk my voice.

[238] Do you also think maybe some life needs?

[239] needed to happen to you before?

[240] Absolutely.

[241] Yeah, like there's also some serendipity to the timing and what you can bring from your life experience, I'd imagine.

[242] Because that character shows up, a tornado just arrives.

[243] Oh, listen, everything happens for a reason.

[244] All the roles, the women that I've played, I couldn't have written this better.

[245] Scripted your own life better.

[246] Oh, my God, no, I think too small.

[247] So, you know, that's why I say you just gotta trust the universe, know that you're putting out good, you're going to get good back.

[248] That's just how it works.

[249] Yeah.

[250] It's called karma.

[251] And so how he pan picked all of us.

[252] He had me ugly face crowd a Q &A when we were in New York because he was like, this was my ideal cast.

[253] And every time I gave, I would show up to the studio, these names were never on the list.

[254] I would pitch them, each and every last one of them, as these characters, never on the list.

[255] And I just broke out because I've been doing this for over, you know.

[256] And it's like, bitch, I'm still not on the list.

[257] Yeah, what's the day to get on the list already?

[258] What the fuck?

[259] You've been nominated for - What do I have to do, people?

[260] I have played a character like Seeley before.

[261] Shug and Huzzling Flow.

[262] I've made cookie iconic.

[263] You got the Emmy Nuds.

[264] You got a golden globe victory.

[265] And not only that, it's bigger than me. The pros that I've played have inspired.

[266] These babies, hidden figures, the influx of young girls coding.

[267] Are y 'all fucking pay?

[268] attention out there?

[269] Yeah, it's crazy.

[270] What do you tell yourself it is?

[271] I guess it's all a part of this struggle, but I'm going to change the narrative because I do believe what you profess is what you will possess.

[272] So if I keep saying things are hard, things are going to be hard.

[273] We already know that.

[274] We know the inequities that are happening in life.

[275] We know it.

[276] So why do we have to keep harping on it?

[277] Hollywood, you're going to pay me my worth.

[278] Yeah, yeah.

[279] It's time.

[280] I've done it all.

[281] They passed time.

[282] Come on.

[283] Tons of hits, tons of everything.

[284] And you was also saying, I needed more life to happen.

[285] Not only that, I'm a leading lady.

[286] So to take on something of this magnitude...

[287] You're so fine in real life.

[288] Oh, that came out of time.

[289] Thank you.

[290] No, yeah, yeah.

[291] 10 out of 10.

[292] Thank you.

[293] And I'm single, but, you know, such a life.

[294] Well, you said leading lady, it fell appropriate.

[295] Oh, thank you.

[296] I am a leading lady.

[297] But to take on something so historic and something that means so much to the community, I knew exactly how to support her.

[298] Okay, so listen, though, I want to pitch one other thing.

[299] So another valuable tool for us is framing, and you have to think about the version of your life you're telling.

[300] Now, to me, the story where it was a given they'd want you, and then you thought about three other things they also wanted you for, and then you decided, eh, this one works best for my schedule, and that's the story that lands you here.

[301] My personal story, keep me as an underdog.

[302] I like it.

[303] What story do you want to tell?

[304] I actually have come to, like, yeah, yeah, I'm the underdog, and I still built this.

[305] You know why?

[306] That's better.

[307] It helps, it inspires.

[308] Listen, I could go on and on off that subject.

[309] Yeah, yeah, let's, let's, let's, let's.

[310] Got to formulate my thoughts.

[311] While you're thinking, can I add a couple, a couple that are in that realm.

[312] I try occasionally to step back and go like, okay, well, just tell yourself the opposite story and see if you prefer that.

[313] And I give credit, my mother told me this one time.

[314] I was talking around the phone, I was kind of complaining that someone else had asked me for money.

[315] and I hate that every time I pick up a phone, I think it's going to be blah, blah.

[316] And my mom said, look, it's as simple as this.

[317] In life, you get to be the person they call for something or you get to be the person calling for something.

[318] So what one do you want?

[319] Exactly.

[320] And I'm like, yeah, I'd way prefer to be called.

[321] So get over it.

[322] I got the role I want.

[323] So, again, foregone conclusion, I'm about to do something versus no one thought of me. I come in and I fucking crush it.

[324] Fuck you.

[325] I way prefer that.

[326] How many times?

[327] Because I get the initial sense of like, I got overlooked and now I'm here.

[328] Now you're here, you should be there.

[329] Stay here.

[330] So here's the deal.

[331] You should get paid, but I'm just saying you're talking about people on top of the mountain and all I'm suggesting is top of the mountain is not actually a place you want to be.

[332] As a counter perspective.

[333] Or if you're at the top of the mountain, you've got to have a story that inspires people to want to be at the top of the mountain.

[334] If you're at the top of the mountain, don't forget what heck you came from.

[335] Yeah, yeah.

[336] And still reach back down on a mountain, pull people up.

[337] So being on the top of the mountain is a good thing because you inspire people.

[338] But the point is that no one wants to hear how perfect your life is.

[339] Even on top of the mountain, it ain't perfect.

[340] As a matter of fact, once you get on top of the mountain, God damn it gets harder.

[341] Look at some of our heroes right now.

[342] Like the camelots of our, no one's safe.

[343] As soon as you're there, there's only one more story left to tell about you the fall down the mountain.

[344] So I don't really want to get that because I know what story is next and I don't really want that.

[345] You live a good life.

[346] My karma's good.

[347] So I'm here to serve.

[348] That is what humans are supposed.

[349] supposed to be.

[350] We need each other to make the world go around.

[351] God is brilliant.

[352] He put us here.

[353] He made us all look different because we need to figure this shit out.

[354] And it ain't hard.

[355] Have compassion.

[356] Go out and travel and meet people and learn different people and listen to each other.

[357] Don't be afraid of the truth.

[358] We're all broadcasters now.

[359] We don't receive messages.

[360] We just send them out.

[361] Or in the publishing business as opposed to the conversing business.

[362] Absolutely.

[363] Can we go back to D .C.?

[364] Let's go to D .C. Mumbo sauce.

[365] My mom took us, my mom was brave.

[366] She had three kids, single mom, and she would cart us around the country and a Chavette to see the world.

[367] And we went to D .C. in probably 81.

[368] So I know the vibe of D .C. in the 80s.

[369] It's not the place I visit now.

[370] It's very different.

[371] It's very, very different.

[372] As is New York is very, very different.

[373] All these cities are beautiful now.

[374] But I remember, yeah, we were staying.

[375] We got some greasy pizza.

[376] We were at, like, kind of an hourly -ish hotel.

[377] There's some gunshots on the parking lot.

[378] Like, that was the family vacation, D .C. But what an incredible education.

[379] Totally, totally.

[380] The best education in my opinion.

[381] Oh, I'm so grateful for it.

[382] Because, by the way, everything just continued to feel safer and safer the older I got.

[383] But anyways, different place.

[384] And I want to know, I feel like it's a unique situation you grow up in.

[385] Mom is a manager of a huge retail store.

[386] Yeah, so my mother, born in the South, country girl, Scotland, neck, North Carolina.

[387] It's like 20 minutes outside of Rocky Mount, an hour and a half from, Raleigh, little, little itty -bitty town.

[388] My grandfather was a sharecropper, so you know, that's basically free labor almost.

[389] For people that don't, they give you a sliver of the land, you can work for your own needs, but then you're working all the land.

[390] It's a version of slavery without ownership.

[391] Absolutely, and you're raising nine children, one not yours.

[392] She had eight children biologically, and then she raised one of her nieces.

[393] And my mother, they knew about working hard because all the kids had to work.

[394] And when they all worked, they only came up with three.

[395] $300 a month.

[396] But you're also talking about when milk was a dollar.

[397] Right, right, right.

[398] So they had a system.

[399] There were three or four that stayed south, maybe moved to Raleigh, one sister's date, around the corner from my grandmother.

[400] And then the rest migrated north.

[401] But my auntie, who passed away, I love you, Janie, rest in peace.

[402] I hope you're proud.

[403] She moved out first and went north.

[404] And so everybody would come and sleep on her sofa until they found a job.

[405] And that's how my mom made it to the big city.

[406] And she moved to the D .C. area?

[407] Okay.

[408] So all the other siblings that ended up.

[409] up north, how they got there is they stayed on Aunt Janie's sofa, and then they got a job and got their own place.

[410] So that's how my mom ended up there.

[411] She met my dad, got married, he went to NAM, came back, wasn't his best self, because how do you go to war and return normal?

[412] And how old was he when he was?

[413] I was young.

[414] My mom, she had me at 21.

[415] So dad was he was two years older than my mom, maybe 19, 20.

[416] Did he come back with any addiction?

[417] Alcohol.

[418] Yeah.

[419] Yeah.

[420] How could he not, like you said.

[421] Absolutely.

[422] My mom was like, Well, he never saw any action.

[423] I said, Ma, it's still war.

[424] You're hearing bomb.

[425] You're seeing a friend go and not come back.

[426] You know what's going on.

[427] It's not Disneyland.

[428] The adrenaline is at a hundred living there.

[429] Just being there.

[430] Just trying to cope.

[431] And you know they were experimenting on them because he came back.

[432] Agent Orange, and literally his flesh would melt off his feet.

[433] But I don't know what he did, how he cured himself.

[434] I would come in the house and be like, what the hell?

[435] He'd be sitting there in the tub of, I don't know, bleaching whatever else.

[436] And it went away.

[437] Sounds like he and my dad were the same.

[438] My day used to get poison ivy every couple days.

[439] And his move was Clorick's bleach.

[440] He just scrub the fucking poison ivy.

[441] I know.

[442] It's that Trump thing.

[443] Because I swear it.

[444] I feel like that generation come by it honestly, like bleach was a cure all.

[445] Yeah, exactly.

[446] You got a toothache?

[447] You fucking brush your teeth with some bleach.

[448] Let's go.

[449] You broke your what?

[450] Soak it's some bleach.

[451] But he got rid of that Agent Orange.

[452] But they got a divorce when I was two, did my mom, became a single mother.

[453] But when she got to D .C., the job she found was working at a department store, sort of like Macy's.

[454] Actually, Macy's bought this company.

[455] It was called Woodward and Lothroop.

[456] And she worked in the basement, putting price tags on merchandise, which probably those jobs don't exist anymore because we have robots and machines now.

[457] But that's how she started at 18, I believe, and worked her way up the corporate ladder, Not dating anybody, because my mother still is.

[458] Ooh, a 10 plus.

[459] Oh, boy.

[460] I mean, dropped it.

[461] I'm not opposed to seeing some photos over.

[462] Oh, she's, listen.

[463] Wow.

[464] She kept it single.

[465] You didn't have a bunch of stepdad?

[466] No. My stepdad actually just passed away about a month ago.

[467] I'm sorry.

[468] How long were they together?

[469] My mom was like 50 -something when they got married.

[470] She found real true love late.

[471] Was she waiting for all the kids to get out?

[472] No. No. What kept her from being available for that?

[473] It's the same reason I just, you know.

[474] Yeah, I want to talk about that.

[475] Oh, I got a whole take on you.

[476] It's choices that you make.

[477] And my mom, I have it.

[478] We are loving naturally.

[479] And we get it from my grandmother.

[480] Who's still alive?

[481] Who's about to make 100 in April?

[482] And I'm taking her to the theater to see Color Purple Christmas Day.

[483] The whole family were taking her.

[484] And I'm going to sit right next time.

[485] I'm going to watch her every facial expression.

[486] Oh, that's so special.

[487] She'll be watching the movie.

[488] You're watching her.

[489] Yes.

[490] And she's so.

[491] So full of life, I remember my cousin said to her, Grandma, today you realize you're 99 and a half.

[492] She said 99 and a half won't do, baby.

[493] Oh, I love that.

[494] I have a feeling she's going to live beyond 100.

[495] Because she's created her own blue zone.

[496] I'm sure you've seen that.

[497] Yeah.

[498] Because it's not a place.

[499] It's what you create.

[500] She goes to bed every night expecting to wake up the next day.

[501] She makes plans.

[502] She travels.

[503] She's never alone.

[504] She has our own house, but somebody's always with her.

[505] She's just so full of life.

[506] and when we have parties, she's the first one up on the dance floor.

[507] Oh, my goodness.

[508] She got a boyfriend.

[509] What's grandma's nickname?

[510] She has a boyfriend?

[511] With a gold chain.

[512] Yes, she does.

[513] Oh, if you're on the phone and he pulls up, she'll be, I gotta go, I gotta go.

[514] He's younger than her.

[515] Well, I would hope for her sake.

[516] Yeah, exactly right?

[517] She don't need an older man. He's much.

[518] No, she's like her, you know?

[519] Sure, sure, sure.

[520] Okay.

[521] No, he's much.

[522] Miracles do happen.

[523] Oh, man. That's so admirable.

[524] I love that.

[525] Okay, so back to mom.

[526] So there was no stepdad's growing up.

[527] No stepdad's growing up.

[528] That's a blessing.

[529] Well, she had boyfriends.

[530] And how were they?

[531] I didn't like any of them.

[532] I think that's the time when I probably got closer to my dad because I was becoming a teenager.

[533] And when you're growing up as a young girl and it's two women in the household, you realize that your mom needs something you can't give her.

[534] So it's kind of like I'm trying to do my thing.

[535] She's trying to do her thing.

[536] And I love my mom.

[537] But you go through these weird transitions in your parents.

[538] From the beginning, a boy might cling to his mom.

[539] And in his teenagers, he's over here with pops.

[540] You know what I mean?

[541] So that kind of thing happened with me. There's a thing with teenage girls and their moms.

[542] It's a stressful period.

[543] You're kind of like defining yourself in opposition to her.

[544] I've got two daughters and a wife.

[545] And so when the three of them hit that where they're all synced up in their menstrual cycle, I'm going to be out for five days a month.

[546] That's why you need the property.

[547] I'm going to get an apartment downtown for the ping pong tables.

[548] pool table.

[549] I'll just be down there and I'll be like, that's healthy though.

[550] When everyone's done killing themselves, let me know when the dust is settled.

[551] You're making a joke, but you're on to something.

[552] No, I think no one will be safe in this after shortly.

[553] How old are your daughters?

[554] Eight and ten, going to be nine and ten next week.

[555] It's coming soon.

[556] You can get just little hints of it.

[557] Yeah, come in.

[558] So dad though, did dad remarry?

[559] Both of them.

[560] My stepmom is still alive and when I go home to D .C. I still go to my dad's house that she owns and I actually redid the house for her through houses, house, remember that?

[561] show and oh yeah yeah yeah i did that for her because i was like mama angie it's time for you to have your house it was still so much of my dad and i get it but my dad passed in oh six and when i did it for her said because you give so much she's always opening the house and feeding and making sure everybody's okay i said i want to do something for you and i want to give you a little feminine spin on the house it's time you deserve it and so i redid the house and she's just oh yeah yeah yeah we did her kitchen she's such an incredible cook and I just made it hers, and she deserves that.

[562] That's lovely.

[563] What kind of girl were you in school?

[564] I was a good girl, but I was a cool girl.

[565] I was popular, but not popular, like...

[566] Not a mean girl.

[567] Not a mean girl.

[568] No, no, no, no. Oh, thank you.

[569] I was the girl that would sink everybody together.

[570] I was like the connecting force.

[571] You were in lots of different groups.

[572] I just got along with everybody.

[573] If you didn't like me, something was wrong with you because I was artsy, I was fun.

[574] I was the life of the party.

[575] I'm class clown.

[576] And that's because I'm a lot.

[577] I wasn't being challenged creatively.

[578] I had auditioned for Duke Ellington School of the Fine Arts in D .C. didn't get accepted.

[579] Corey Hawkins went there.

[580] It broke my heart because my best friend got accepted.

[581] Oh.

[582] But it didn't destroy our relationship at all.

[583] But that's hard.

[584] It was hard.

[585] It was a tough pill to swallow, but it was a part of my journey.

[586] But when you're a kid, you've created a story where if you don't go there, you're not going to the other places you want to go in life.

[587] I totally tricked myself to believe that.

[588] Yes.

[589] That rejection at that age, you don't know what to do with that.

[590] And so I followed another friend because now I'm just.

[591] in regular public school, and she was really smart, Candace Dickens, and she went to North Carolina A &T.

[592] I knew I wanted to go to college.

[593] That was the plan.

[594] It was the North Carolina of it, exciting, because that's where your mom's from?

[595] I knew I had family.

[596] I knew I wasn't going to go hungry.

[597] Sure.

[598] You could find a meal on Sunday.

[599] Well, yeah, because we had a church on the corner.

[600] It's the South.

[601] Church on the corner on Sundays, you can get a fish dinner for $5.

[602] Sure, sure.

[603] And it'll last you three days.

[604] You know what I mean?

[605] Literally.

[606] But really quick, you were going there for electrical.

[607] Engineering.

[608] Following behind Candace, who was smart.

[609] And actually, that's what she does to this day.

[610] But I, on the other hand, am not wired mathematically.

[611] My soul wasn't there.

[612] And I knew I didn't belong there.

[613] But I had to experience that.

[614] And that was the one thing.

[615] I loved how my father parented me because he never told me how to do things.

[616] He would show me the scenarios.

[617] And like, it's your choice.

[618] And whatever choice you make, you got to live with it.

[619] Good luck.

[620] So he didn't try to talk me out of going to North Carolina A &T, because he could have.

[621] But he was like, you needed to fall flat on your face.

[622] And how long were you there?

[623] I did the whole year.

[624] In that year, I'm imagining it's starting to set in that this isn't actually your path.

[625] And now are you getting more and more scared?

[626] What is my past?

[627] Well, two things happened.

[628] My English class was in the drama building, the building where all the arts.

[629] All the freaks were.

[630] All my people.

[631] Yeah.

[632] All my people.

[633] Well, it was like a longing, and my heart would do this every time I would walk into that building because I knew that's where I belonged.

[634] I did not belong over there.

[635] I knew I had two tutors and failed pre -cout.

[636] My brain wasn't getting it.

[637] But, hey, I'm at the HBCU.

[638] I'm experiencing the black college experience.

[639] It's amazing.

[640] But knowing this is not really my passion.

[641] But I did it, and I gave it my best because that's who I am.

[642] I don't care what I'm doing, where I'm working.

[643] I'm going to leave good things with you.

[644] You're going to be like, I really liked working with her.

[645] So I auditioned because I had to walk past their bulletin board where they put their auditions and everything that's happening in the fine arts.

[646] So I walked by and I saw auditioned and my heart did this.

[647] And I was like, I'm going to do it.

[648] I'm going to audition.

[649] So I went to the library.

[650] I don't even remember what monologue I got.

[651] It's all a blur.

[652] But I remember standing on the stage and I was shaking.

[653] Because all I remember was being told no. Yes.

[654] Let me tell you about fear.

[655] If you give in to it, fear had me. and a chokehold.

[656] I couldn't do the thing that came so natural to me. My fifth grade teacher, Ms. Lane, saw it in me and put me in the play.

[657] She got tired of spank in my hand.

[658] You know, back then you can get your ass whooped to school and your mother gave them permission.

[659] So she used to spank my hand and she channeled my energy and put me in the play.

[660] That thing that I did so natural and she sawed me and put me in that play and I sawed and it was amazing.

[661] I couldn't do.

[662] Because I believed the lies that I was telling myself.

[663] To this day, I don't know if I got a call back.

[664] I never went to see.

[665] You never checked.

[666] Because you were certain you had shipped the bed on it.

[667] I was like I was horrible.

[668] I was shaking.

[669] After that, things started feeling weird in my body.

[670] I failed pre -calc and I had to call my dad and I'm like, Dad, I'm so sorry because he had his truck snatched and everything.

[671] And I just cried and he was like, you know what?

[672] I'm glad you failed.

[673] I was like, what?

[674] Dad, did I call the right number?

[675] He was like, you needed to go through that.

[676] So you can understand.

[677] You need to get your ass back up here.

[678] Roll in Howard University where your grandmother went and you get up here and do the thing that you're supposed to be doing.

[679] Cut to, I get to Howard.

[680] Of course, this thing is living in my body now.

[681] This fear.

[682] I'm still waiting for no. Yes, yes, yes.

[683] This time I was more prepared.

[684] I'm in front of Dr. Henry and she rest in peace, my acting teacher, acting 101, baby.

[685] I'm in front of her and I'm doing my monologue and I could feel myself shaking, but I leaned into it and I just did it.

[686] When I finished, she said, come here, sit down.

[687] I was like, she's going to tell me no. And she said, you got something.

[688] What, you're talking to me?

[689] She was like, you got something.

[690] And be careful who you hang out with.

[691] Because a lot of these kids that are coming in here and getting told, yes, they're not going where you're going, and they're not going to survive this program.

[692] And I was like, whew.

[693] Yeah.

[694] Funny thing is, now I'm in all the plays.

[695] All the Duke Allenton students are there.

[696] You remember when we were at Duke?

[697] I was like, no, they didn't accept me. Now everybody's forgetting that I didn't get it.

[698] accept it, but because I became a part of the family, you know, it's funny, this fear thing.

[699] Had I listened to that, we wouldn't be here.

[700] Yeah, and these little moments in time can arrest you.

[701] Oh, what a word.

[702] But what I didn't realize is that I was building that tough skin.

[703] This is back to the original story we're telling about you.

[704] This is a much better story.

[705] You go in your audition, you get straight into the academy and then it takes you to where you're, you know, who gives a shit?

[706] I was developing a tough skin because all the nose.

[707] I was about to be told coming out here, I had to go through that and I had to work my way back to my passion on my own.

[708] No one could do it for me. You're so right.

[709] It's coming, whether you got into Lincoln or not.

[710] Those people might have not got in it there, but as soon as they got here, they did, or they got to New York, they did.

[711] It's inevitable.

[712] You're not going to sidestep it.

[713] Let's get it out of the way.

[714] We just had John Batiste on, and he was saying, let's go get rejected today.

[715] That's the goal.

[716] Let's go get our rejection, get it out of the way, and then keep moving.

[717] It's inevitable.

[718] so you got it early.

[719] Stay tuned for more Armchair expert if you dare.

[720] Every job that I was like, they're going to reject me are the biggest ones that I got.

[721] Benjamin Button, I was having a garage sale.

[722] I didn't want to go and meet Fincher.

[723] I was like, why the fuck are y 'all calling me on a Saturday?

[724] Don't you people rest?

[725] God, I literally was not going.

[726] My agent called and said, girl, if you don't close that garage and go meet her.

[727] I didn't even know that.

[728] that Lorraine Mayfield, who's a dear friend of mine, to this day, had already handpicked me. She saw me in Hustle and Flow.

[729] And when I walked into the audition, she got emotional.

[730] And I was like, what, though?

[731] This lady didn't take her medicine.

[732] Yeah.

[733] I go in and she's so touched and she was like, you are rare.

[734] And I'm like, what do you mean?

[735] She was like, I sat in the theater watching your work in Hustle and Flow.

[736] Every time you left that screen, I missed you.

[737] I completely agree with her.

[738] I so remember.

[739] That was my introduction to you.

[740] I loved the movie.

[741] And then you, yeah, it's a revolution.

[742] So that's what got me cast in Benjamin Button.

[743] The most natural role of your life to play Brad Pitt's mother.

[744] Oh, my God.

[745] I was like, God, are you any doing this?

[746] I said I wanted to work with Brad Pitt, but not play his love.

[747] Yeah, I want to be his lover.

[748] Love or not a mother.

[749] The first time he saw me out of the saggy boobs and the boot suit, he was like, Mama.

[750] I hope it didn't stand in the way of any off -camera romance.

[751] No, he was so in love with Angelina.

[752] They just had the baby.

[753] Yeah, they had just had the baby.

[754] Because that could have been freaky if you're playing mother and son, but you've got a thing on the side.

[755] That's a kink right there.

[756] Benjamin got to edit this time, please.

[757] You're going to what, kill your father and do what to your mother?

[758] After what meal?

[759] Lord have mercy.

[760] Oh, my God.

[761] That's so great.

[762] He has such a charisma about him, and he's down to earth.

[763] He's like a Missouri boy, right?

[764] He really is.

[765] The stuff that he does that no one knows, like, out here on his own without security feeding the homeless.

[766] This is stuff that Brad Pitt does.

[767] The rebuild he and Angelina did to the ninth ward.

[768] In New Orleans.

[769] This is from the heart.

[770] And he doesn't brag about it.

[771] People find out about it and say it.

[772] If he were a bragger, it'd be fun because we'd call him Bragg Pitt.

[773] Bragg Pitt, right.

[774] Yeah, that'd be a good nickname.

[775] But he doesn't do it.

[776] He doesn't.

[777] He's such a sweet guy.

[778] What was that we were here?

[779] We're going to go back, but we're going to go forward.

[780] Okay.

[781] Fincher, I have this enormous fear.

[782] A, I love him as a director.

[783] Me too.

[784] Every movie makes I like.

[785] Even the ones that are less successful, I'm like, there's a math to these things.

[786] He just has a vision.

[787] Yes.

[788] And he's very close.

[789] clear, very technical.

[790] Now, I'm the type of person.

[791] I get insecure, easy.

[792] If you support me, I'll do better and better and better.

[793] The more you say, good job, I'm a good job junkie.

[794] If you start, no, this, this, now I'll start losing confidence.

[795] So I've had this enormous fear of just the notion of working with him and having to do like 30 takes to me feels like it would just.

[796] No, no, no. Tell me. That's not even how it is.

[797] That's not how it is.

[798] He's looking at things that ain't got to do with you.

[799] He's looking at the leaf behind your head.

[800] It's not about you.

[801] And he will tell you.

[802] We worked with a lot of.

[803] of elders on that movie and they're not as spry as they used to be so talking and trying to hit the mark.

[804] It was a challenge.

[805] And so he would come over to me and he would just be like, it's not you.

[806] We just need her to hit.

[807] You just have to be patient.

[808] Well, that's nice.

[809] As long as he would let me in on that.

[810] I could keep my confidence.

[811] Oh, come on.

[812] Absolutely.

[813] He's not an evil man. He's a perfectionist and so am I. Shit, if you give me 50 times.

[814] Well, I don't actually need 50 times.

[815] No, I think we can get it in three or four with you.

[816] Maybe two.

[817] Anyway, it was an amazing experience, but see, I have this ability to read my director's cuts.

[818] I know when I'm close, how they say cut, I can tell.

[819] Oh, I got you.

[820] You know what I mean?

[821] Cut!

[822] Some directors have a, that's it!

[823] You know, like, I can tell.

[824] And I don't watch the monitor.

[825] I live in between scenes.

[826] I don't have to stay the character.

[827] I literally can be bawling my eyes out.

[828] And they yell cut, and I'll be like, anyway, so last night.

[829] They got a 30 % off thing going on over there.

[830] Really?

[831] Seriously, I'm usually playing a game.

[832] I do that on purpose.

[833] They used to talk about me all the time on Empire because whenever they yell cut, I would go to my game and play my game.

[834] Cookie was a lot.

[835] I don't want that bitch's problems.

[836] I got my own.

[837] I was a young mother when I came out here.

[838] So when I would go to work and come home, he had homework.

[839] I got to feed him.

[840] We got to take a bath.

[841] So I had to leave it.

[842] And that's an important part of your story.

[843] So 19?

[844] When I had him, no, I was 24.

[845] Oh, 24.

[846] I was 24.

[847] I was still in college, though.

[848] I was in my junior year when I had him at Howard.

[849] Okay.

[850] Was it Howard just the greatest?

[851] It was the best.

[852] Everyone I've ever interviewed that went there had like the time of their life.

[853] You know, I had a friend asking me yesterday, did you pledge?

[854] And I was like, no. For some reason, I didn't feel like I needed to pledge.

[855] I was at the Mecca.

[856] Like, that is the pledge.

[857] I'm already in the family, in the brother's sisterhood.

[858] I'm already there.

[859] We are even have a chance.

[860] Hey, you, you know.

[861] I have it.

[862] I have it.

[863] I have it all.

[864] Right, right.

[865] You're on the inside already.

[866] I'm on the inside.

[867] Okay, so you get pregnant.

[868] I'm guessing it wasn't planned.

[869] No, it wasn't planned at all.

[870] Oh, right, right.

[871] Who wants to have to get pregnant while they're in college?

[872] I don't have a job yet.

[873] Listen, that's my assumption, but I'm open to being wrong.

[874] Yeah, no. It just happened.

[875] It just happened.

[876] Probably sex precluded it, but yes, it happened.

[877] You know, actually, I woke up in a spirit's indigestion.

[878] My son is the second coming of Jesus.

[879] So now we're juggling some stuff, though.

[880] You deliver in your senior year?

[881] end of my junior year.

[882] Actually, when I turned in my last term paper, I went into labor right after.

[883] I guess he was like, get me out of here because I stayed up like 24 hours finishing this huge project.

[884] I finally finished it and I waddled it.

[885] The next thing you know, the contractions came.

[886] And I was like, oh, he's coming early.

[887] He waited, though, for you to finish that.

[888] But he still came early.

[889] He came like three weeks early.

[890] Oh, no kidding.

[891] Oh, I stressed him the hell out of here.

[892] Yeah, yeah, he wanted out.

[893] I'm running out.

[894] Yeah, final exams.

[895] Who is this crazy lady?

[896] I need to see her face to face.

[897] How quickly do you move after graduation?

[898] Oh, about a year later, because I graduated in 95.

[899] And I didn't quite have a plan.

[900] I have this baby now, so I'm not single anymore.

[901] I just can't pack my bag and go to New York.

[902] I had to strategize.

[903] I knew I had to make money.

[904] Like, I'm a worker bee.

[905] I'm going to put food on the table.

[906] The light bill is going to be paid.

[907] The rent is going to be paid.

[908] I know how to hustle.

[909] I'm not to work.

[910] Well, my favorite is you were working as the secretary at the Pentagon in the morning.

[911] And then at night, you're singing.

[912] on the spirit of Washington.

[913] Talk about two opposites.

[914] Secretary of the Pentagon, it's as buttoned up as it gets, and then singing on a boat at night.

[915] And school in the middle.

[916] And a kid to go home.

[917] That's wild.

[918] But I had so much support.

[919] Ms. Hull, let she rest in peace, who babysat me in elementary school was still babysitting when I had...

[920] Can I mention that 80 % of the people you've mentioned, you've also had to say rest in peace, and I'm almost nervous.

[921] You know my name now.

[922] You know an inordinate amount of dead people.

[923] No, they're just older.

[924] Everyone she says is like, rest in peace, I love you.

[925] You keep going back.

[926] You're like, we're going back.

[927] Exactly.

[928] Rewind.

[929] Okay, okay.

[930] So some people are still alive.

[931] But, okay.

[932] So you've had some help.

[933] I had some help.

[934] And I just thought that was beautiful because she took such great care of me. that I even called her my grandmother.

[935] And her granddaughter, we were like play cousins in school.

[936] Her mother and my mother worked at Woodward and Low Throat.

[937] Oh, okay.

[938] And so that's how she was like, oh, my mom, baby says you should have her.

[939] And so I was integrated into that family and then to become a young mother in college trying to make my dreams come true.

[940] And she's like, bring that baby over here.

[941] I could rest because I knew my baby was safe.

[942] And being loved.

[943] Loved and nurtured and fed and just, oh, everything just worked out.

[944] And I was making good money.

[945] So I started on the Spirit of Washington.

[946] I graduated.

[947] Even how I got the job at the Pentagon, my stepmother worked in the library where they had all the secret documents.

[948] We're the plane hit.

[949] It destroyed the library.

[950] Let's add on your fucking birthday.

[951] Yeah.

[952] Oh, my birthday.

[953] Yeah, what a birthday.

[954] What a birthday.

[955] Yeah, I can't go to the store on my birthday.

[956] You can not get carded?

[957] And they'll go, oh, no, no. Can you ring up my wine and bananas, please?

[958] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[959] We don't need to go down this traumatic.

[960] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[961] Yeah, they really fucked up your birthday for you.

[962] No, not really.

[963] Not really, because we gained angels.

[964] We gained angels.

[965] Oh, you have such a beautiful perspective.

[966] Well, because it's all how we perceive things is how we live.

[967] I hate that that happened.

[968] I would never want that to ever happen to any human on earth.

[969] Life is so precious.

[970] But if it happened, we've got to make the best of it.

[971] The people that passed would want us to.

[972] Also, what of this is heading back to framing, which I love.

[973] It's just like, how do you think about it?

[974] And one of the main topics that comes up in my house raising two young girls often is, are you the victim in this story?

[975] Are you the hero of this story?

[976] And so if you're the hero of the story, then angels joined you.

[977] And if you're the victim of the story, then the world's just conspiring to destroy you.

[978] So another thing you can pull back often and just ask yourself a very simple question.

[979] Like, am I the hero in the story I'm telling?

[980] Or am I a victim?

[981] Because I certainly would prefer to be the hero in the story.

[982] Absolutely the hero.

[983] Yeah.

[984] You've got to be the hero.

[985] in your story.

[986] Kids want to look up to heroes.

[987] Life is hard for everybody.

[988] I don't care who you are.

[989] It doesn't come with a golden rulebook.

[990] Follow these ruling.

[991] The world will open up to you.

[992] You should want to be the hero.

[993] You can't wallow in the muck.

[994] It will consume you.

[995] Take a couple days.

[996] Feel your feelings.

[997] Feel all the feelings.

[998] Ask God why drop to your knees.

[999] Get mad.

[1000] Scream if you have to.

[1001] Get it out of your system because guess what?

[1002] You were blessed enough to have breath this morning.

[1003] Some people didn't make it.

[1004] You said, I said a lot of You know what I'm saying?

[1005] A lot of people didn't wake up this morning.

[1006] And the fact that you did, you have a chance to become the hero.

[1007] Yeah.

[1008] Yeah.

[1009] But you have to remind yourself of it.

[1010] Yeah.

[1011] You must.

[1012] Because we all start feeling like the victim.

[1013] Oh, yeah.

[1014] Baby boy got me from feeling like the victim.

[1015] My work heals me a lot.

[1016] I still have a therapist.

[1017] Well, you keep getting flashes of lightning that would contradict even your story if you were trying to tell it.

[1018] Really?

[1019] How so?

[1020] Baby boy.

[1021] Oh, yeah.

[1022] Hustle and Flow, Benjamin Button, they keep popping up hidden figures.

[1023] You could be telling yourself any story, but the dad is going to slap you in the face sometimes.

[1024] Like, no, I keep getting hit by lightning.

[1025] There's grace for me. Good things happen to me. Absolutely.

[1026] Good things happen if you wake up in your right mind and you got a roof over your head.

[1027] You got clothes.

[1028] You got heat.

[1029] That right there should be enough.

[1030] Yeah.

[1031] I wish we were wired that way, yeah.

[1032] But tell me why, baby boy.

[1033] Because for so long when I was in a tumultuous relationship, you know, at a very young age, like Yvette was in that movie, I played the victim.

[1034] He did this to me, he hit me. But what he didn't do was tie me to a radiator and hold a gun to my head.

[1035] I wasn't a prisoner.

[1036] I was a prisoner in my mind.

[1037] When I got that script, it was a hard read because I had to face the girl in the mirror who had thought she was a victim all these years.

[1038] And I would remember picking up and it was this one scene where she has this dream that Jody dies and she has to go down the aisle and see him in the casket.

[1039] And I'll never forget that day when we were filming Cuba Gooding Jr. was there on the set visiting.

[1040] And John kept going in close up and I was wailing because I would have dreams like that about my son's father.

[1041] So when I was reading the script, I got chills and I had to walk away because it was too close.

[1042] Your son's father did get shot in 2000.

[1043] Stabbed from head to toe.

[1044] Hit every major artery in his body.

[1045] It was a conflict.

[1046] It was personal.

[1047] Baby Boy's two years before that?

[1048] I had done Baby Boy, because he died when he was 34 on his birthday.

[1049] I'll never forget, I called John, and I said, John, the dream came true.

[1050] He was like, what?

[1051] He knew exactly what I was talking about, because we would have those talks.

[1052] So in that scene, I had wailed and wailed because this was a dream that I had so many times in real life.

[1053] The dream had come true, not really.

[1054] No, I know what you're saying.

[1055] My body recognized it.

[1056] You knew it was coming somehow.

[1057] You knew this was going to be an experience probably loving this person.

[1058] You always get a premonition, especially if you're a spiritual person and your empath, you feel things.

[1059] And I remember the last time I saw him, I was like, he's not going to live long.

[1060] But I'm thinking he'll die early like 50 something.

[1061] And this was the last time I saw him.

[1062] That's what I said in my mind.

[1063] I had a chill.

[1064] and you weren't together anymore.

[1065] No, we hadn't been together in years.

[1066] I mean, I had been out in L .A. for nine years.

[1067] Marcel was nine.

[1068] But I would imagine if I'm you, I'm already raising a black son in America.

[1069] And now I'm raising a black son in America who doesn't have a dad.

[1070] Well, you know, that's a fear in our community, black women with our men, especially with the rate that cops are having these altercate.

[1071] It's a realistic outcome.

[1072] You don't expect it.

[1073] Of course, you're not going to invite that energy.

[1074] in, but it's something that always lives in your subconscious when they leave the house when you're not with them.

[1075] The incarceration rates above 10 % for a certain age group, the murder rate.

[1076] These statistics add up.

[1077] I don't tack it like that.

[1078] I don't put numbers to it.

[1079] But what I do is I pray over my son.

[1080] I pray over him.

[1081] My grandmother prays over him.

[1082] We got a praying grandmother who has seen some things.

[1083] Every time I talk to her, she's like, I pray for each and every last one of you.

[1084] And she makes my son face like, up because he has these deep dimples and she always calls him the beauty dents.

[1085] His whole face lights up.

[1086] You guys made me cry.

[1087] I don't like it here.

[1088] That's our job.

[1089] That's our goal.

[1090] We went to the Barbara Walter School of Interviewing.

[1091] Clearly.

[1092] Oprah Winfrey interns here.

[1093] If you didn't cry, you didn't come here.

[1094] Right.

[1095] But it's real.

[1096] It's real.

[1097] And, you know, we get so many different types of stories of people who come in here.

[1098] but this is a very specific one.

[1099] Yeah.

[1100] And it's important for people to remember that.

[1101] These are things you are caring that other people aren't.

[1102] Yeah, a lot of parents are really worried what school their kid will get in.

[1103] Exactly.

[1104] That's the primary fear.

[1105] A lot of other parents are worried that their sons will make it until retirement.

[1106] You know, they'll be alive.

[1107] It's so many things to worry about as a black parent because it's not even just the law.

[1108] Like, what happens in school?

[1109] Black and brown kids are being punished.

[1110] more rigorously than the white kids.

[1111] They step out of line just an inch.

[1112] The punishment never matches the crime.

[1113] It's so many things to worry about.

[1114] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1115] And so you just have to have faith, and I just know that my son is going to make it.

[1116] I speak all good into him, because my dad did that to me. The fact that I'm here is a miracle, because when you're in an inner city school and it's a public school, you are in the pipeline to prison, period.

[1117] You're forgotten about.

[1118] You don't have the proper books.

[1119] You don't have the proper staffing.

[1120] You are set up to fail.

[1121] You have all the teachers that have been kicked out of the different districts, but can't be fired and just get moved to that school.

[1122] Yep.

[1123] It's so many obstacles and red tape.

[1124] Well, let me be clear.

[1125] There's obviously a ton of brilliant, beautiful teachers.

[1126] But also, that is the pipeline.

[1127] Yeah.

[1128] My black cousin, Jolin, is a principal of a public school.

[1129] I'm proud of him.

[1130] Amazing, yeah.

[1131] We need more male teachers.

[1132] you know, positive.

[1133] So this thing called life, yes, it can be hard.

[1134] But what are you doing about it?

[1135] Are you sitting around on your ass and complaining?

[1136] Are you out here being a mover and a shaker?

[1137] And lifting other people up.

[1138] Because when you lift other people up, you get lifted.

[1139] It's as simple as that.

[1140] That's why the mountain is not a scary place.

[1141] If you, yeah, if you bring everyone up with you, then you're more safe up there.

[1142] Well, speaking of the mountain, when you were talking about getting rejected from the school, that happened to me also in an acting program.

[1143] You auditioned to get to the next level and half the people got it and how people didn't, and I didn't.

[1144] And so from then on, every time there was a rejection, it was like they knew always that I'm not going up.

[1145] Exactly, based on that one moment.

[1146] So when you say, aren't I here yet?

[1147] Why am I not on the list?

[1148] I did it.

[1149] I proved myself, maybe there's like a tinge every time of back to Lincoln.

[1150] Back to that moment of not getting accepted.

[1151] No, I'm going to tell you, as simple as this.

[1152] this town, black movies are treated differently.

[1153] They have low expectations, and I hate that word, black movie.

[1154] God, it drives me insane because why are our movie singled out like that?

[1155] I don't look at trailers and go, oh, you know, today I'm going to go see a white movie.

[1156] Oh, no, there's this really cool Asian movie.

[1157] I'm going to go see it.

[1158] Yeah.

[1159] I go because the trailer makes me interested, or I like that actor, but when it comes to our movies, it's always black.

[1160] So when you say that, other demographics go, oh, it's a black thing.

[1161] It's not for us.

[1162] Well, there's also some weird paradox where white folks love black TV.

[1163] They've shown up for that historically.

[1164] That can exist.

[1165] But you're right.

[1166] If it gets labeled a black movie, they don't feel invited or I don't know.

[1167] There's a weird paradox there.

[1168] It is because now I've got to spend my money.

[1169] Oh, that's a good point.

[1170] Yeah, I'll try this thing for free.

[1171] Also, maybe there's even like, oh, in my living room, I'm not going to feel other.

[1172] But if I go to this black movie on Friday night, I don't know what people's thoughts are.

[1173] That's why I, you know, we need to stop saying black movies.

[1174] And I hope that this color purple is doing this because this movie transcends color, age, race, religion.

[1175] It's a story about humanity.

[1176] You know what's interesting?

[1177] And I wonder what your memory is.

[1178] My memory of color purple, so it came out in 85, I was 10.

[1179] I was 15.

[1180] Right, so you're more mature than me. I'm seasoned.

[1181] It's a little more lowry song.

[1182] I'll just still try to talk to you, but anyways.

[1183] And I would have been like, hey, young fellow.

[1184] This is overly confident 10 -year -old.

[1185] In my memory, I'm now realizing I saw that as a pre -Civil War movie.

[1186] It felt very like this was the slave experience when I was 10.

[1187] Now I'm like, oh, that's so weird.

[1188] This is set in the turn of the century, 1900.

[1189] So this is Reformation.

[1190] I didn't have the details, I guess.

[1191] As a 10 -year -old, it just people were poor.

[1192] they were just coming out of that.

[1193] They were now still in agriculture.

[1194] It was still rural.

[1195] So it's just interesting that I even had as a kid the wrong idea of what story is even being told.

[1196] It's a very interesting moment in history because people have just left bondage 10 minutes ago.

[1197] And you go, you're free.

[1198] Right.

[1199] Where are we going to go?

[1200] It's very precarious and interesting time to look at.

[1201] The first generation to have freedom and what do we do with that?

[1202] How do we organize?

[1203] And what is the power and the status within it, used to be everyone was just zero status because everyone was property.

[1204] Now we're seeing strata of status.

[1205] It's all so fertile for a really incredible story.

[1206] What was your memory of that movie?

[1207] I was 15.

[1208] I got rejected from the School of Fine Arts, but I still had a longing.

[1209] I wasn't in college yet.

[1210] I was still in high school.

[1211] So I just remember seeing it going, oh, my God, I could really do this.

[1212] outside of roots on TV on the big screen is a whole other energy that's superstar status that's the thing that you go I want to do that one day and to see so many black people and can we add and I'd be guessing here I don't know it wasn't my experience but we're now at culturally a point where we would prefer rightly so that these stories are told by black folks but also in 1985 Spielberg is the biggest thing in the world.

[1213] He's sent Cecilby to Mill.

[1214] Although now we would prefer it, there was also some really radical thing that the biggest star in the world that could tell any story he'd want to tell would want to tell your story.

[1215] Absolutely.

[1216] It is a part of the cinema canon.

[1217] It stays.

[1218] It goes nowhere.

[1219] It got the attention in the craftsmanship of the person that was doing it the best at the height of their powers.

[1220] It was deserved and earned and warranted and it was right there.

[1221] to be insanely inspiring.

[1222] It is the spark that created the color purple multiverse.

[1223] It started with a book.

[1224] Now we have a film, a musical on Broadway, and now the film adaptation of the musical.

[1225] 30 years from now, it'll be something else.

[1226] Right, right.

[1227] Because you've got to remember that book.

[1228] How many pages?

[1229] We only get to see about this much of the story.

[1230] Okay.

[1231] I have not read the book.

[1232] Oh, the book is massive.

[1233] Okay.

[1234] You know, in 1985, we didn't really do that.

[1235] deal with the lesbian relationship, the love relation.

[1236] I don't even want to call it anything, just the love that these two humans shared, because that's what it was.

[1237] It was the tenderness of pure love, had nothing to do with sex or anything like that.

[1238] It was two humans who actually saw each other.

[1239] Yeah.

[1240] And we're on opposite ends of this power structure.

[1241] Because you got to remember, this is the first generation of freedom.

[1242] This one was waiting to get out in the world.

[1243] Yes, yes.

[1244] She went against everything.

[1245] She was a me. Like, I'm getting out of my zip code.

[1246] She probably felt big in her environment.

[1247] Oh, no, when you're floating up on the boat singing.

[1248] Proud Mary, by the way, that was my single.

[1249] That was not my single, my solo.

[1250] That's what they called it.

[1251] You got a solo.

[1252] And we were A, B, C, or D. That's how they would do the shows, the waiters.

[1253] If you're A, B, or C tonight, you're doing the show.

[1254] And then whoever else you had to do your solos.

[1255] But if you were really good, you did the solo and the show.

[1256] Oh.

[1257] So you love.

[1258] But yeah, you flowed up on this boat.

[1259] You're from a different dimension.

[1260] Am I?

[1261] Yeah.

[1262] I'm an alien?

[1263] Look the way you're dressed, the way you're holding your fan, the way you're singing, the confidence, the matriarchal power you possess.

[1264] Like, all this is from another planet.

[1265] She's the change maker in this film.

[1266] You never know when she's coming, but when she comes, it goes up ten notches.

[1267] She comes and she gives the town hope because she made it out.

[1268] Call her what you want.

[1269] So fast, drunk, whatever.

[1270] She made it out.

[1271] And she's living her life unapologetically.

[1272] She's free.

[1273] And then Mr. is in love with you.

[1274] It's complicated.

[1275] Infatuated with you.

[1276] Yeah, like all the men she sings, too.

[1277] There's no love there.

[1278] It's only physical.

[1279] That's why Seeley is so important.

[1280] You know, they have kids together.

[1281] They never really deal with.

[1282] You saw the kids running around.

[1283] And Sealy gets sold to Mr. For a cow.

[1284] The dad says you're going with him.

[1285] And then now she's not.

[1286] experienced her husband's lust or affection, and then this woman arrives and she sees her husband have this, and yet you two become friends.

[1287] Yeah, because they see each other.

[1288] All the men that Shug laid up with, all the people that she give all her heart and soul to when she performs, she gives it all to them, she's getting nothing in return.

[1289] There's a deep loneliness and sadness that they both have on opposite ends of the spectrum of how to end up.

[1290] up with that loneliness.

[1291] It's delicate.

[1292] It's beautiful.

[1293] It's the tenderness of pure love.

[1294] You're incredible in it.

[1295] I mean, I hope you feel so proud of it.

[1296] And you sing like a motherfucker.

[1297] Thank you.

[1298] Thank you.

[1299] I mean, I guess we should have known from hustle and flow, but...

[1300] No, that wasn't really singing.

[1301] It's cool.

[1302] You can sing.

[1303] I'm like, you could do that.

[1304] You go in the studio.

[1305] You sing the hook and they loop it.

[1306] Well, Monica does not going to want him to tell me that.

[1307] Yeah, because now he's going to try and, oh, God.

[1308] Oh, thanks.

[1309] Can we, well...

[1310] We need to talk about her being single.

[1311] Yes.

[1312] That's on the docket.

[1313] Okay, yeah.

[1314] It's no surprise, y 'all.

[1315] It's crappy out there.

[1316] You just said all the black men are in jail.

[1317] The white men don't approach me. I just want to be clear.

[1318] I never said all the black men are in jail.

[1319] No, that was a joke.

[1320] That's a joke.

[1321] A lot of them are.

[1322] Can I hit you with my theory before you give me any clues?

[1323] What?

[1324] If we're going to be honest about everything, uh -oh.

[1325] To be a woman that is making the moment.

[1326] money and has places to be, you've narrowed your field of options of men who have the confidence that can handle that and support that and not be jealous of it, not try to act out and claim their own dominance.

[1327] Where are they?

[1328] Can you tell me?

[1329] Point me in the direction.

[1330] This is what I'm saying, because if we're being honest about the suffering of the different classes, you can have a great fucking life still with your blackness.

[1331] I would say in this case your femalness is the thing that is probably more in your way.

[1332] In the industry.

[1333] In the industry?

[1334] And I'd say, Because you're powerful.

[1335] Has that been an element?

[1336] Okay.

[1337] Absolutely.

[1338] Because every time we interview a woman that would end up in here, unless they found the unicorn dude.

[1339] I've been there.

[1340] Why I'm single and happy.

[1341] Okay.

[1342] But is that if we had to label one element that has gotten them in the way?

[1343] Being a very successful woman, absolutely.

[1344] How is that materialized when you've been with people?

[1345] Usually they start off infatuated.

[1346] And the first thing I go is, you know what I do, right?

[1347] I come with a lot.

[1348] And when do you tell them here's what the whole package comes with?

[1349] When I feel them getting serious.

[1350] If it's fun, who cares?

[1351] But if it's getting serious and I'm feeling like my heart is in, their heart is in.

[1352] And what will you say are some of the things that you come with?

[1353] People are going to be in your business and that happened.

[1354] They didn't like that we were together.

[1355] Somebody created a page and started trying to tear him down.

[1356] I was like, I told you I come with a lot.

[1357] Yeah.

[1358] Because if you weren't with me, this wouldn't be happening.

[1359] You could be dating any woman and it wouldn't be looked at under a microscope.

[1360] That means now your life is public.

[1361] Now, every move you make, people are watching because of me. Right.

[1362] You've now entered the play.

[1363] You're a character whether you had set out to be so or not.

[1364] That's what you're going to have to deal with.

[1365] Okay, so that's one of the things.

[1366] It's like having kind of a public persona now that maybe you wouldn't have chosen.

[1367] Well, you have a son.

[1368] That's number one, right?

[1369] Most guys at this age have kids.

[1370] And if not, I'm like...

[1371] Why don't you...

[1372] Sish, shit, shit.

[1373] Just what's wrong?

[1374] Like, it could be anything.

[1375] Are you a jerk?

[1376] No woman wants to have a baby with you because you're that pitiful.

[1377] It's something to think about.

[1378] There are incredible men I just made the choice to say I didn't want to have kids.

[1379] Yes, but I also think Monica and I once had an argument about this, but I was saying if you meet a guy who's 40 who's never dated a girl for more than six months, I think it's appropriate to have some fears that maybe they're not.

[1380] Absolutely.

[1381] At this point, I know that's a little dicey because you could end up there.

[1382] I don't think it's fair.

[1383] Yeah.

[1384] Look, as a stereotype, yes.

[1385] it shows that they can't commit or whatever.

[1386] But you don't know people's individual stories until you know their individual stories.

[1387] And I pushed back because I said, I haven't.

[1388] I'm 36 and I haven't.

[1389] So I would hate if someone just saw that on a piece of paper and was like, oh, she's never been in a serious, serious relationship.

[1390] So that's a no. It's like they don't know why.

[1391] But I want to be ultra clear is that you would give that explanation and that would be a suffice explanation.

[1392] But I do think it would be okay for you to question why not?

[1393] I would totally question because now are you a serial dater?

[1394] They exist.

[1395] Totally.

[1396] And as soon as it gets a little too.

[1397] Because if I'm in, I'm all in, how are you coming to this?

[1398] So if you're not, can we be up front, but people don't have the balls to do that?

[1399] Yeah.

[1400] I'm happy.

[1401] I'm not longing.

[1402] And at this point, I've decided I don't want to be married.

[1403] For what?

[1404] I'm not having kids.

[1405] What's the point?

[1406] Let's be life partners.

[1407] Yeah, yeah.

[1408] Live and thrive.

[1409] And I want to keep my house.

[1410] You keep yours.

[1411] I renovated my house.

[1412] I said, when you walk in here, I want you to know this is a girl's house.

[1413] Yes.

[1414] This is a girl's house.

[1415] Yes.

[1416] So if you want us to be together, I'm still going to keep my house, but you can buy us another house.

[1417] I'm not moving in with you.

[1418] You're not moving in with me. And we're going to enjoy life.

[1419] Without all these labels and ideals.

[1420] And without all that paperwork.

[1421] Sure.

[1422] I think about this for Monica, because Monica's building the house across street and it's spectacular.

[1423] Oh, it's a girl's house, too.

[1424] I love it.

[1425] We're picking out this chandelier.

[1426] and my designer, and I was like, God, it's very feminine.

[1427] Who cares?

[1428] I get to have that.

[1429] Exactly.

[1430] Yeah, it's nice.

[1431] Exactly.

[1432] But I think, and because I love Monica, I worry about her, I think, like, what guy's going to be able to hop right in there?

[1433] It's a real issue.

[1434] Yeah, you're the breadwinner.

[1435] You've got this great place.

[1436] I'm along for the ride, and I'm not threatened by it.

[1437] You know, I want that for you.

[1438] I guess, and I wonder if you agree.

[1439] It's not worth it.

[1440] I'd rather have this life without that person then compromise that other stuff just so that there can be a person there.

[1441] I prefer this route.

[1442] Just for the sake of I have a man or I have a husband.

[1443] No, my happiness is priceless.

[1444] And I even had to talk with God.

[1445] I was like, look, I've loved, I've had love, I've lost love.

[1446] I know love, I am loved.

[1447] So I...

[1448] I'm okay.

[1449] I'm happy just as long as my loved ones are healthy and my heart is open.

[1450] I'm not bitter.

[1451] I'm not jaded.

[1452] But the funny thing about Holly, is no one comes here to give.

[1453] People come here to take.

[1454] What can this town give me?

[1455] I want to be a star.

[1456] So I never saw myself meeting my husband here.

[1457] I literally was like, I'm coming here to work, set up a life for me and my son.

[1458] I never thought I'd meet my husband in L .A. Because I came here to take.

[1459] Right, right.

[1460] I love that honesty.

[1461] Yeah.

[1462] So is he in L .A.?

[1463] I don't know, maybe in transit at the airport.

[1464] Maybe he's on vacation.

[1465] But I'm open to love.

[1466] I don't feel like I'm missing anything.

[1467] Sure.

[1468] Yeah, which is great.

[1469] I think you should only hopefully see it as something additive, not your missing piece or to complete you or all these romantic things that you.

[1470] Fucking movie paradigms we're all stuck in.

[1471] But just the additive nature.

[1472] Yeah.

[1473] But you need a guy that's strong enough to be proud of you and not threatened by you that can go watch you in color purple and go like, oh, baby, you can do that.

[1474] I promise you that's how they come in.

[1475] Then what happens?

[1476] They come in and they go, like, with me to an event, and they'll hold the shoes and the stuff and be proud.

[1477] Yeah.

[1478] And then I don't know if they're thinking that's just an isolated incident, but baby, I got several of these coming.

[1479] Like, this is my life.

[1480] You're going to be holding the shoes and it goes for, you know what I mean?

[1481] That's your position.

[1482] Well, there's two elements that can happen there.

[1483] One is just, oh, I feel less than because that's my role.

[1484] Then the second thing is all this stuff around her is threatening to me because it's very shiny and flashy.

[1485] and statisie, and I can't give that.

[1486] So now the second layer of insecurity can pop up.

[1487] Things that when you get nominated for stuff and they send you flowers, like companies are sending you flowers.

[1488] So, of course, they're going to be as big as that desk.

[1489] One guy, I could hear him say things like, I can send you flowers like that.

[1490] I knew we were doing when he took us to the spa and the lady said, this way, Mr. Henson, I was like, oh, she just fucking killed my relationship.

[1491] Yeah, yeah.

[1492] They call me Mr. Bell sometimes at hotels.

[1493] See, look at you.

[1494] No, I dig it.

[1495] I'm not claiming I'm a big enough man that if I didn't have my own shit, that I would be able to tolerate that as well.

[1496] But I can because I have my own identity and my own shit.

[1497] And you say you have a therapist, so you're working on yourself.

[1498] Yeah, yeah.

[1499] I can work with that.

[1500] I agree.

[1501] I just need you engaged in the fight.

[1502] I don't need you fixed.

[1503] You know what I'm saying?

[1504] Because I ain't.

[1505] I'm working on me. I want to mention that before you go, because you also work with a foundation or maybe even founded it.

[1506] You founded it.

[1507] And it's to shine a light on the mental health crisis in the black community.

[1508] and I'd imagine for males a lot as well, right?

[1509] I would just tell you, between you and I, this is a dangerous thing to say out loud, but I'm from like the white trash area.

[1510] In the white trash area, the masculinity is really heightened.

[1511] And weaknesses, oh, you're fucking dead if you have the weakness.

[1512] So it's like none of that is going to help anyone say, I need help and I need to talk to someone and I'm afraid and all this stuff.

[1513] I do think it's heightened in these areas where masculinity has been kind of stolen from the people from the traditional ways of getting it.

[1514] Bingo.

[1515] And not only that, when you've been broken in your manhood and emasculated by this country, by the world, basically, because you can't be black anywhere.

[1516] So what do you do when the world is telling you, you have to be strong?

[1517] You cannot let them see you cry.

[1518] Because what else do you have left as a man?

[1519] Yeah.

[1520] Stay tuned for more of Aronshire Expert, if you dare.

[1521] Who was on?

[1522] Someone was on talking, it was so beautiful the way they said it.

[1523] Oh, it was Craig Ferguson talking about Scotland.

[1524] The, I need respect.

[1525] You could laugh at that and say that that's trivial.

[1526] But when that's all you have, you really can't say that about somebody.

[1527] And it goes deep for us.

[1528] It is so in us that we'll kill each other for that respect.

[1529] It's a disease.

[1530] It was forced upon us.

[1531] And even with black women having to be strong, all of that shit will kill you.

[1532] You cannot push through.

[1533] everything.

[1534] And I understand why we needed that term back in the day.

[1535] Like when I was a strong black woman, yes, because there was a synergy among black women where we were smart.

[1536] We were the ones going to college and getting jobs and making the money in the household.

[1537] But other people take on, other demographics go, well, she's strong.

[1538] That's why we're dying in hospitals because we're strong.

[1539] They won't come to our aid.

[1540] Serena Williams, one of the most famous, incredible athletes of our time Almost died in the hospital, and I will guarantee you it's because she's a strong black woman.

[1541] Right.

[1542] No one hears our cries.

[1543] Yeah, there's been all these studies where they've shown that you'll get under prescribed.

[1544] You will not be taken seriously about your pain, all this stuff.

[1545] Because of strong black woman.

[1546] We can take anything.

[1547] Right.

[1548] I started saying this years ago when it dawned on me, like, girl, you wouldn't not stop it with this strong.

[1549] And I'm almost offended when people say that to me. You're so strong today at this moment.

[1550] Yeah, it's like, don't put that on me. Don't put it on me, though.

[1551] Well, it goes also to this ubiquitous objection to not being allowed to be an entire person.

[1552] So you could only be a strong black woman.

[1553] You couldn't be a full person with the full spectrum and some weaknesses and vulnerabilities and some fears.

[1554] That's why Cookie was so important.

[1555] Because if we didn't go into her life, you would just write her off as some sassy black woman.

[1556] And that's why I wanted to play her because I wanted to show.

[1557] show her humanity.

[1558] I wanted to show her vulnerability.

[1559] That woman exists in the world as she needs to see herself.

[1560] All of the dimensions.

[1561] If somebody's loud and rude, there's a reason behind that.

[1562] And so when people see the reason this, where humanity happens, it's go, oh, I have compassion for this person because I understand why they're like that.

[1563] What was it like to go through that?

[1564] It's lightning striking.

[1565] Empire showed up and then all of a sudden it was like, oh, that is the biggest thing in the world.

[1566] It was the weirdest moment for me who had been doing this for so long.

[1567] And probably thought you understood what being in public was.

[1568] No, I knew there was a difference.

[1569] And I was clear on how I was vibrating, kind of not everywhere.

[1570] I was doing that on purpose.

[1571] I have a son.

[1572] I'm a single woman.

[1573] I don't want everybody knowing where I live.

[1574] You know, I don't want you in like that because it's so much to protect by myself.

[1575] And I learned that from Regina King, who's a dear, dear sister friend of mine, and I loved how she was able to move.

[1576] And I was like, I want to be like that.

[1577] I want to be recognized, but I can still blend in.

[1578] Because I take on characters in life, and so it's imperative that I get to people watch.

[1579] That's how I pick up mannerisms, and I could be on a date.

[1580] And I'm like, they're on the first date.

[1581] Look at passion.

[1582] I'm not paying attention to the room.

[1583] It's getting harder and harder to do, but I fight for that.

[1584] I just went to that sphere in Vegas.

[1585] You know what that is?

[1586] Yeah, I haven't been yet.

[1587] I had neither, but I go.

[1588] and you would think I'd spend most of the night looking at the incredible multimedia display or YouTube.

[1589] No. I was watching these two people that were clearly on ecstasy making out for two hours.

[1590] That's always going to be where my interest truly is.

[1591] I want to watch these two.

[1592] I want to fill in this whole fantasy I have about what date are they on that they would make out for two hours standing up?

[1593] Like, it's so much more interesting to me. That's how I travel the world.

[1594] Whenever I go to any country in the world, I spent three months in China for Karate Kid.

[1595] And yes, I did the tourist stuff because you get it out of the way.

[1596] But I'm there for three months.

[1597] I was driving around.

[1598] I'm like, what's behind these walls?

[1599] And I'm like, oh, no, those are the Houtons.

[1600] I was like, what is that?

[1601] They're like the alleyways.

[1602] I'm saying, baby, I want to go to the alleyways.

[1603] And that's the heartbeat of Beijing.

[1604] Those are the workers.

[1605] That's where I was every night in some bar in a Houtonong somewhere behind one of those walls.

[1606] That's amazing.

[1607] The best time.

[1608] Who were you with?

[1609] Oh, God.

[1610] Jada Pinkagami.

[1611] My mom had come for two weeks.

[1612] We hung out a lot.

[1613] I'm a huge crew person, so I always hang out with hair, makeup.

[1614] So it was that, because it was just me. And I was a supporting role, so I didn't work every day.

[1615] So I really loved when my mom came out.

[1616] Her and my son came out for two weeks.

[1617] But we hung out with Gammy because she wasn't working every day.

[1618] Wait, who are you calling Gammy?

[1619] Jada Pinkett's mom.

[1620] Oh, oh, right, right, right, right.

[1621] I'm sorry.

[1622] And I do remember it was Gammy.

[1623] Yeah, Gammy.

[1624] I'm sorry.

[1625] Oh, no, no. I'm like, are you calling Jada Gammy?

[1626] No, go Jada's mom.

[1627] I'm so much.

[1628] I'm like, this is, I don't know how I didn't get that in the research that her nickname is gammy.

[1629] I'm sorry, I should have been more clear.

[1630] Okay, I guess I just want to wrap up the empire experience.

[1631] So once that broke, did you feel a sense of powerlessness?

[1632] I think from the outside people would assume when you achieve that much social capital, it induces power.

[1633] But to what you're saying, or it's like, no, to be at a restaurant, have no control over what's about to happen, that feels very powerless.

[1634] And so it's a weird dichotomy of rising status yet losing control.

[1635] That's a perfect way to put it.

[1636] Right?

[1637] It's a very confusing experience.

[1638] And from people on the outside may be hard to be empathetic with.

[1639] Oh, yeah, I got into a screaming match.

[1640] Well, I wasn't screaming.

[1641] He was in Chicago at a target because this guy said that I'm supposed to take pictures because that's what comes with the job.

[1642] And you're not supposed to be mad.

[1643] So I'm always supposed to be on.

[1644] I can't just come and buy my toilet tissue and pay.

[1645] like everybody else.

[1646] Right.

[1647] Well, that's what you asked for.

[1648] I just showed him compassion and I just walked off.

[1649] Right.

[1650] I had to find my piece in it all because it happened like a storm.

[1651] They didn't want to sell that overseas.

[1652] You know how I got sold overseas?

[1653] The fans found it and started downloading it illegally and they were like, oh, there's money to be made over there.

[1654] Because I've been told my entire career, Black doesn't do well, it doesn't translate.

[1655] Now I have social media.

[1656] So you can't lie to me anymore because I see the different different flags, from Ibiza, from places I've never heard of in the world saying, I love you, all walks of life.

[1657] And now you're lying to me. So I said to Twitter, I'm going to get overseas.

[1658] I don't know how, but I'm coming to my fans overseas.

[1659] Then Empire happens.

[1660] All of a sudden, now they want to do this big campaign.

[1661] I get to Paris, and it's me and Lee Daniels, and it's 1 ,500 seats.

[1662] And it was a Q &A.

[1663] We screen the pilot in the first episode.

[1664] And I'm sitting in honest, no one knew I was there, and they were asking the questions, and they got to the cookie questions.

[1665] Lee was like, why don't you ask her?

[1666] She's here.

[1667] Before he could say my last name, they stood up and screamed.

[1668] Parisians, no less.

[1669] Listen!

[1670] They hate all of us.

[1671] They do, but they love me, honey.

[1672] They made me ugly face crying, and I told them, I was like, oh, my God, you are myth busters because my entire career.

[1673] But not even that, because that was cookie.

[1674] I go outside to get in the car there are fans out there with jackets to my fucking movies, y 'all.

[1675] They know my name.

[1676] They're not calling me Cookie.

[1677] They're going, Tiroji, please, please.

[1678] May you sign?

[1679] They're so generous and respectful.

[1680] When I go there, I'll stop everything I'm doing to take a picture, just how they approach you.

[1681] Not like they're entitled to it.

[1682] That's why I told my new business manager, I said, the plan is to be out of here before 60.

[1683] Not out of life, but out of this soul.

[1684] over there somewhere.

[1685] I don't know where yet, Italy, probably because I love the food.

[1686] Am I going to stop acting forever?

[1687] No. But I've done a lot.

[1688] Oh, my God, yes.

[1689] You know, I haven't played a villain or a superhero yet, but hurry up, these knees.

[1690] You hosted us now?

[1691] I did.

[1692] That's impossible.

[1693] You can say I did everything.

[1694] You hosted us now.

[1695] I didn't join the Marvelverse yet.

[1696] So maybe you and I'll do them or I'll come out of retirement.

[1697] Okay.

[1698] These knees, though.

[1699] Do I have to run?

[1700] Maybe I can be like a professor X in a way.

[1701] Well, yeah.

[1702] Oh, they're a workaround or something.

[1703] What are these half horse centaur?

[1704] You could be like a half, beautiful horse.

[1705] What long, beautiful mane.

[1706] Well, Taraji, this has been a blast.

[1707] You're so fun.

[1708] You are so fun.

[1709] My last question is around the way, girl, which is your autobiography.

[1710] Do you have a relationship with L .L. Cool, J.?

[1711] Is there any connection?

[1712] Did he see that you titled your book that and reached?

[1713] I know his wife Simone really well.

[1714] I love her jewelry.

[1715] I'm always...

[1716] Girl, send me these earrings.

[1717] Not so much him.

[1718] I was always a fan.

[1719] Them back to school jams in D .C. back in Zee.

[1720] When he was talking to my radio and mama said, knock you out with a t -shirt off and that came up.

[1721] Don't call it a comeback.

[1722] The one year my mother wouldn't let me go because this is how much we cherish family.

[1723] I cut her head out of pictures and was poking needles in them tend to mud and a bit.

[1724] And she found that box.

[1725] I'm going to die for sure.

[1726] She laughed.

[1727] She was tickled.

[1728] But Around the Way, girl, it is a nod to that song.

[1729] Absolutely.

[1730] Because that's who I am.

[1731] I need.

[1732] And I'm proud of it.

[1733] Well, I have enjoyed this so much.

[1734] I hope everybody checks out the color purple.

[1735] It's a Christmas release.

[1736] I think it'll be enormous.

[1737] It's so beautifully shot.

[1738] The trailer is so fucking good and snappy.

[1739] And whoever cut that needs a nod.

[1740] Blitz.

[1741] Our director had his hands on everything.

[1742] Oh, it's so snappy.

[1743] He's a musician.

[1744] He was a rapper, and he was one of those kids handing out.

[1745] Mixed tapes.

[1746] In New York, he never went to film school.

[1747] He's a Ghanaian.

[1748] So, you know, in Africa, I guess their houses are always being worked on.

[1749] And so whenever they would fix a room, there would be another empty room they would have to work on.

[1750] And his mother would be like, go in there and make this year or whatever.

[1751] And so they don't dream to come here.

[1752] The fact that he came to America, and he's like the first to do this major studio feature film, Ghana is going nuts right now.

[1753] Because this is just not the norm.

[1754] And so he said he remember he would go to movies and he would go with his notebook and he would sit there after a while.

[1755] The credits are rolling.

[1756] He would take his notes.

[1757] What his mother did was allowed him to dream.

[1758] She always created a space for his creativity.

[1759] He's in Ghana.

[1760] He didn't have music schools.

[1761] He taught himself instruments.

[1762] His talents, he's self -taught.

[1763] So impressive.

[1764] It's incredible.

[1765] Fun.

[1766] Yeah.

[1767] Fun, fun, fun, fun.

[1768] So fun.

[1769] Well, I hope you'll come back.

[1770] Oh, absolutely.

[1771] We've got eight more years.

[1772] It sounded like.

[1773] Before you hit Rome or whatever.

[1774] Before you peel off to Rome.

[1775] Let's do this again.

[1776] We will for sure.

[1777] Okay, let's.

[1778] I would come back.

[1779] Oh, we didn't even bond over Octavia.

[1780] You know, she and I were in a comedy troupe together 24 years ago.

[1781] Really?

[1782] Yes, when we were all babies in L .A. She's so special.

[1783] We don't talk every day, but when we do, baby, it fills my heart and my soul.

[1784] Yeah, she just leads with emotion.

[1785] She's a good person.

[1786] Yeah, yeah.

[1787] She's a good egg.

[1788] She's a good one.

[1789] I'm glad I can call her.

[1790] My friend.

[1791] Yes.

[1792] All right, well, good luck with everything, and we'll do this again.

[1793] Yes, we will.

[1794] Stick around for the fact check because they're human.

[1795] They make lots of mistakes.

[1796] You're in your cupboard.

[1797] It's been a while since you were in your cupboard.

[1798] You haven't been in my cupboard in a while.

[1799] Hold on one second.

[1800] Will you talk?

[1801] Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.

[1802] Let's just leave it.

[1803] You feel comfy?

[1804] Do you feel comfy with this?

[1805] I feel scared.

[1806] Oh, why?

[1807] No. You're supposed to protect me. I do have increased anxiety.

[1808] Oh, disorder.

[1809] I -A -D.

[1810] Generalized anxiety disorder.

[1811] I mean, I do have that, but I haven't had it in quite a long time.

[1812] The listener can't see, but my coffee mug picked up a bit of tissue on the bottom as if it just left the toilet.

[1813] and had toilet paper.

[1814] It's very embarrassed now.

[1815] Okay.

[1816] Sorry, back to your anxiety.

[1817] Wait, if you see somebody, if you see a stranger coming out of the bath or if you're at the airport, okay, and you see somebody walking with a tissue on their butt, on their butt, not on their shoe.

[1818] Hanging out of the back of their pants.

[1819] Yeah.

[1820] Would you say something?

[1821] Well, hold on.

[1822] Let's first establish an order of embarrassment because in my mind, shoe would be least embarrassing hanging out of the top of your denim would be second most and then dangling out of the bottom of your skirt would be probably the most.

[1823] Do you think that would be the most?

[1824] Yes, that's so bad.

[1825] And what if there's poop on it?

[1826] No, we don't need to make it...

[1827] Oh, no, it's already embarrassing, yeah.

[1828] Okay, what would you do?

[1829] Oh, so it just happened.

[1830] Think at Descanso Gardens.

[1831] I was walking out of the bathroom and I got behind this woman who was kind of lumbering already and like clogging up my exit.

[1832] Sure.

[1833] And then right as I was getting frustrated, I glanced down and she had like a good six squares.

[1834] It was like 18 inches of tissue hanging off of her.

[1835] Yeah, and she had a very large shoe on and then all this tissue dragging behind it.

[1836] And I just let her carry on her merry way.

[1837] You leave that to the folks who are with her.

[1838] It's not, I can't take on that responsibility.

[1839] Yeah, that's the piety.

[1840] she should expect from her friends.

[1841] I know, but sometimes it's like when I was walking back from all time and I had bird poop on my sweater.

[1842] Oh, sure, yeah.

[1843] Well, that turned out to probably be granola.

[1844] Okay.

[1845] But what as I thought was bird poop?

[1846] Mm -hmm.

[1847] And then there was a man who was walking his dog who, like, looked at me. I thought he was just looking at my face.

[1848] Sure, he probably was.

[1849] No, he was looking at the bird poop, but then he didn't say anything.

[1850] Really quick.

[1851] How are you confirmed?

[1852] what he was looking at.

[1853] I just know these things.

[1854] You know it intuitively.

[1855] Yeah.

[1856] I mean, I guess for me, it's better that he didn't say anything.

[1857] Because what would, I just would have said like, oh, no. Yeah, and then what can be done?

[1858] The tissue, you could remove it.

[1859] But this will sound very libertarian of me. But at some point, what's your personal responsibility?

[1860] Like, when I leave the bathroom, I glance down at my shoes.

[1861] And if you don't have that own care for yourself, I don't know why I have to have it for you.

[1862] Wow.

[1863] I know that's a hard.

[1864] take, but I also think it's true.

[1865] Like, if you don't care enough to look, why should I?

[1866] Maybe in 2024, we should have a little bit more feelings of care for the world.

[1867] Oh, that's a good idea.

[1868] Okay, but let's, I'm going to use a different analogy.

[1869] That's virtually the same thing, which is like, when you see someone whose hair is a mess entangled and ratty, you don't go like, oh, hey, you forgot to comb your hair.

[1870] You go like, oh, yeah, this person doesn't give a fuck about combing.

[1871] their hair.

[1872] If their teeth have turned yellow and green from not brushing your teeth, you don't go like, hey, you've forgotten to brush your teeth for the last decade.

[1873] You're like, they don't give a fuck.

[1874] So if you don't look down when you're leaving a stall of a bathroom to see if you're dragging.

[1875] That's so different.

[1876] Cont now.

[1877] Well.

[1878] Because one's an honest mistake and the others are choices.

[1879] They're all neglect.

[1880] Oh my God.

[1881] Now, I mean, I guess I'll just admit here today, 24.

[1882] I never look at my feet when I leave the bathroom.

[1883] Oh, boy.

[1884] That's brazen.

[1885] Do you think it's absent -mindedness, cockiness, or belief that that kind of thing won't happen to you?

[1886] God, I guess all three of those are kind of one and the same, really.

[1887] I think for me, it's just I forget that's a thing that happens.

[1888] Oh, sure.

[1889] Not me. I'm always on high alert for that, because that's rough.

[1890] You'd think I would be really hyper aware of this as someone's so worried about embarrassment.

[1891] Yes.

[1892] Although, I don't think I would be that embarrassed if someone said, oh, you have tissue paper on your shoe.

[1893] If it was coming out of my pants, I would cry right there.

[1894] I would just cry.

[1895] Yeah, because the assumption then would be, oh, they wiped, they didn't even throw it in the toilet.

[1896] They just left it between their butt cheeks and pulled their pants.

[1897] up, which I might not point out that that happened, but I might get their number to try to hang with them.

[1898] It also sound kind of fun.

[1899] No, I think it's that they wiped and it didn't make it into the toilet.

[1900] So that's worse because.

[1901] Yeah, it's soiled.

[1902] Yeah, yeah, definitely.

[1903] I mean, I feel like this strangely leads into what we want to talk about, which is we'd like to explicate the movie, poor things.

[1904] Poor things.

[1905] But first I do want to say, happy New Year.

[1906] Oh, happy New Year.

[1907] And truth but told, we're not at New Year yet, but I'll be traveling.

[1908] Oh, you're going to do that?

[1909] See, today's the day I feel like we don't do that.

[1910] So your New Year's resolution is to start lying like I have been in the past.

[1911] We've got to sync up our ethics.

[1912] I know.

[1913] Let me tell you mine, okay?

[1914] I have very specific rules about this.

[1915] Okay.

[1916] If it's something where time matters.

[1917] Like this is a case where time matters It's the beginning of a new year It's a big declaration Fresh start Fresh start resolutions We do have to pretend Because that is very jarring for someone Who's moved into the new year And then it's like oh god They're still back there Huh so then in this scenario Should I pretend I pulled the prank I intended to pull?

[1918] Yeah Where I ordered the pizza Do you know this?

[1919] No Delta and I came up with this bit together We're gonna order a pizza at 11 .50 p .m. on New Year's Eve.

[1920] Okay.

[1921] And then when it arrives a half hour later, we're going to tell the delivery person, we don't want this pizza.

[1922] And they're going to go, why?

[1923] And we're going to go, we ordered this pizza last year.

[1924] Yeah, that's great.

[1925] So now the question is, do I pretend that I executed that?

[1926] Do I assume I do?

[1927] Are you really going to do it?

[1928] I mean, I kind of wanted just to make Delta laugh and the driver.

[1929] Okay.

[1930] I think you should act like you tell the story as if it happened and then in the next fact check we'll reveal that that was a lie okay this seems stressful do it okay so we tell me about your new year's eve oh my god it was so fun belton i ordered pizza at 1151 p .m and when it arrived at 1220 a .m we said we don't want it and the and the man or woman said why and we said we ordered that was it a man or a woman Yeah, we ordered this pizza last year.

[1931] We don't want it now.

[1932] Oh, that's so funny.

[1933] Yeah, it was so funny.

[1934] Everyone laughed so hard, especially the man or woman.

[1935] And did the man or woman get upset because they have to work on New Year's Eve?

[1936] No, there's someone that they don't even recognize this calendar year we're on, so it's fine.

[1937] It's like being Jewish and working on Christmas.

[1938] It doesn't mean anything.

[1939] Oh, wow.

[1940] All right.

[1941] Yeah.

[1942] Yeah.

[1943] You get it now.

[1944] Tell me about Georgia.

[1945] Georgia's great.

[1946] You went to a fun restaurant last night.

[1947] It was hyped up.

[1948] Did it delivery?

[1949] Yeah, it was really yummy.

[1950] We went shopping, of course, first.

[1951] T .J. Max or Marshalls?

[1952] T .J. Max, the day before, first thing we did.

[1953] Okay.

[1954] Did you get anything?

[1955] Well, yeah.

[1956] We were looking specifically for these all -clad measuring spoons that my mom got at T .J. a couple weeks ago.

[1957] Oh, you went back for round two.

[1958] Yes.

[1959] She wanted to get it for me as a, quote, surprise present, but it wasn't a surprise.

[1960] She takes you there and points to it on the rack and then asks you to put it in the basket and then...

[1961] Yes, and pay for it.

[1962] Anyway, we went to T .J. Max, unfortunately, sold out.

[1963] No measuring spoons.

[1964] Well, of course.

[1965] Of course.

[1966] All -Claid measuring spoons at T .J. That's going to fly off the shelf.

[1967] Exactly.

[1968] It's a hot commod.

[1969] That's like a Wustoff knife set on sale there.

[1970] That's gone.

[1971] Bye -bye.

[1972] They didn't have that, but they did have a tiny, all -clad pan.

[1973] It's tiny.

[1974] It will fit a fried egg.

[1975] Just to make two eggs pan.

[1976] I love that kind of pan.

[1977] It's not really for that, but that's what I'm going to use it for.

[1978] It sounds so cute in size.

[1979] And the line was so.

[1980] So long at T .J. Max.

[1981] Of course.

[1982] Days before Christmas?

[1983] Yes.

[1984] It was insane.

[1985] And I was just getting this one tiny pan.

[1986] This now brings up another thing, which is those stores bring on extra staff just for that period.

[1987] And that's, I think, generally people that are home from school.

[1988] Oh, sure, yeah.

[1989] It's a curious time to work somewhere for two weeks, because it's the worst two weeks of the whole year at that place.

[1990] Yes.

[1991] Like, I want to work for two weeks over winter break at, like, the beach, or somewhere that gets no use during that holiday.

[1992] Not come work for us for the two worst weeks of the year.

[1993] I know.

[1994] I mean, I don't think people want to be.

[1995] I salute these folks.

[1996] And they know the lease about the store.

[1997] It's also a curious time for ill -informed employees because it's a madhouse.

[1998] Yeah.

[1999] Yeah.

[2000] Anyways, the line was outrageous.

[2001] Line was outrageous, but I stood in it.

[2002] I stuck it out for the tiny pan.

[2003] Ah, you didn't try to buy someone's pan at the front of the line like Taylor Swift style?

[2004] No. When I'm in Georgia, I'm normal.

[2005] I'm normal here.

[2006] You know, I actually, speaking of my anxiety, I've been thinking about that since I've been here.

[2007] I'm having some weird, this might, I'm worried this is going to come off strange, so I might have to cut it.

[2008] Okay.

[2009] But I'm having some sadness around my old life.

[2010] Missing your old life Yeah Yeah I think that's very normal Like when T .J. Max, when it was so exciting Yeah Because you know we went there And they didn't have the measuring spoons And I was like oh man Like I was really mad You know Yeah yeah And then my mom was like Well you can just buy it Like full price I can just buy it Right sure I can just go on the website And buy it It's not gonna make a difference And I got sad when she said that because it was true.

[2011] And it really did bum me out.

[2012] Sure.

[2013] And I know that sounds crazy.

[2014] I think that sounds really disgusting and privileged.

[2015] So weirdly to me, it's almost anti -privilege.

[2016] Of course you can do that.

[2017] But the thing you're experiencing in sharing is the reality of, quote, privilege that no one wants to hear about because it ruins the fantasy.

[2018] Yes.

[2019] So everything's just relative.

[2020] Everything just steps up one peg, but it's all the exact same.

[2021] So your thing now is like you go to the row, it's on the website, and it's gone.

[2022] Yeah.

[2023] That's your T .J. But it's all the fucking same.

[2024] You're just paying a lot more for the same feeling.

[2025] Like wanting something and then not getting in.

[2026] Or like wanting a deal, the missing of being excited for a deal.

[2027] Yeah.

[2028] There's tradeoffs.

[2029] This is one of the tradeoffs.

[2030] Yeah.

[2031] Yeah, you won't have that.

[2032] zone dance feeling when you got something at 40 percent that you had wanted and couldn't have otherwise that's a very exciting feeling you lose that you get what you want but then ironically when you get everything you want you don't really want anything because the excitement is the dopamine is the feeling yeah it's not the item but the objects are ironically immaterial it's just the anticipation and i know yeah so that weirdly i don't know i feel like that's i think that's counter to.

[2033] I think if you went and you were like, oh, they weren't here.

[2034] Oh, who gives a shit?

[2035] I'll order it online.

[2036] That to me would be privileged without recognizing like, oh, I pay a price for that and I lose something for that.

[2037] And, and huh, that's curious and interesting.

[2038] Yeah, because the truth that when my mom said, you can just buy it, and I was like, oh, yeah, I guess.

[2039] I'm not buying that.

[2040] I don't, I don't need that.

[2041] I don't really, I mean, I do want it, but I don't.

[2042] You wanted it from T. Max.

[2043] Yes.

[2044] I wanted it from TJ Max for a deal.

[2045] And I don't know.

[2046] It just sort of made me sad.

[2047] I'm like, what is the point of all this?

[2048] I mean, New Year's is a sad time.

[2049] I mean, we had a blue Christmas and I don't want to have a blue New Year's.

[2050] No, right.

[2051] Yeah.

[2052] But.

[2053] But let's go blue.

[2054] Let's go blue.

[2055] U of M. Rose Bowl today.

[2056] No, it's just, it is a time of reflection.

[2057] Well, absolutely.

[2058] It's all about.

[2059] evaluating your previous year and then making goals to have a year you'd be, I don't know, more proud of or whatever the following year.

[2060] This is very appropriate.

[2061] But I wonder, it's all tricky.

[2062] I'm going to give you one story that I hope relates to it.

[2063] I was on Instagram.

[2064] Someone posted a picture, maybe even Pete Wentz.

[2065] Somebody posted a picture of like the old Nintendo, the original Nintendo in about seven games.

[2066] And they were really excited they got all this from eBay or whatever.

[2067] And then I was like on the path.

[2068] I went to eBay.

[2069] I'm like, I'm too going to get, you know, I'm going to get Street Fighter.

[2070] I'm going to get all these things.

[2071] And I had a moment of clarity.

[2072] It was like, I don't miss the game.

[2073] I miss being in seventh grade in discovering these games.

[2074] And then sitting in my basement with Aaron trying to beat them.

[2075] I miss the feeling associated with that game.

[2076] And that I can't buy on eBay, sadly.

[2077] I know.

[2078] We're all chasing this child.

[2079] like purity.

[2080] Novelty.

[2081] This is all going to circle into poor things, but beautifully is all getting set up.

[2082] But because I, too, have had this kind of utopian desire for the simpler times.

[2083] Mm -hmm.

[2084] But I think what we really want is like we want to be back in the simpler times, but with the knowledge that everything worked out and we're safe.

[2085] A hundred percent.

[2086] Yes, which is just not what life is.

[2087] Exactly.

[2088] Because when I really do, when I think about that time, it was so stressful.

[2089] Because of future surfing and what am I going to have and what is it going to be?

[2090] Yeah.

[2091] It's just, I guess it's impossible to be happy.

[2092] Happy New Year.

[2093] Well, so my solution to that, which you already know, is I suffer all morning.

[2094] Yeah.

[2095] I suffer all morning.

[2096] I meditate.

[2097] I'm not in the moon to do that.

[2098] When I wake up, I want to drink coffee and look at my phone.

[2099] So I put that off for 20 minutes to meditate.

[2100] And then I have to journal, which I'm not always in the mood of journal.

[2101] And then hopefully I have to write a page of prose.

[2102] I'm not in the mood to do that.

[2103] And then I go sit in the fucking cold plunge for seven minutes, which is miserable.

[2104] And then I go into the gym to work out to warm up, which is miserable.

[2105] But after all of that, which is now 11 a .m. The rest of the day, I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm entitled now to just be happening and indulgent because I earned it all.

[2106] And that's just how I figured out how my body works.

[2107] Like my body works that way.

[2108] If I make it suffer for the first third of the day, then I can have a really great rest of the day.

[2109] Sure.

[2110] I understand that feeling.

[2111] That's the old addict behavior that's been channeled.

[2112] Because, you know, I have that too to an extent where it's like if I've worked all day, I obviously earned the wine bar.

[2113] Yeah.

[2114] If I just go to the wine bar, I feel less.

[2115] good about that.

[2116] Yes.

[2117] But hold on.

[2118] Another ding, ding, ding, ding, duck is we have so many hanging tap.

[2119] Loose ends, yeah.

[2120] That was my resolution.

[2121] More loose ends.

[2122] Ding, ding, ding.

[2123] I'm about to say a resolution.

[2124] Okay.

[2125] You just said Street Fighter.

[2126] Yeah.

[2127] And that's really Sim because I just started a book and I just read that.

[2128] I just read Street Fighter in my book.

[2129] You did?

[2130] 14 minutes ago.

[2131] What book?

[2132] Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.

[2133] Okay.

[2134] It's very popular.

[2135] You love a popular book.

[2136] I like reading books that I've heard are renowned.

[2137] Yeah, yeah.

[2138] And then you'll be able to chat with other people about who have read it.

[2139] Exactly.

[2140] I started it.

[2141] I love it so far.

[2142] A resolution I've decided, remember in the holiday episode, I hadn't really figured it out yet.

[2143] Right.

[2144] But I have one now that I really want to stick to.

[2145] Okay.

[2146] I have to either read or write every day.

[2147] I love it.

[2148] It's a great resolution.

[2149] One or the other has to happen every day.

[2150] And I don't have to do both, but one or the other has to happen.

[2151] Reading or writing.

[2152] It's fundamental.

[2153] I love it.

[2154] Will you do that in the more?

[2155] I think you have to be a little more specific.

[2156] I know.

[2157] For me, at least, if it's not scheduled at the same time every day, it won't happen.

[2158] I know.

[2159] Well, I started to panic anxiety, ding, ding, ding, because I was trying to plan out these new mornings.

[2160] And I was like, I guess I'll start waking up at 6 .30.

[2161] Oh, boy, that's too ambitious, but go ahead.

[2162] Exactly.

[2163] And I'm smart enough to know that's not going to happen.

[2164] Then I push it to seven.

[2165] Then I wake up at seven.

[2166] And then I have to have lemon water, a tea.

[2167] And I also want to start drinking spearmint tea.

[2168] But I also drink this rest and digest tea at night.

[2169] And I'm worried this is too much tea.

[2170] No, your people invented tea, I think.

[2171] If anyone could pound tea, I think it's you.

[2172] They meant a chai.

[2173] Yeah, I just think tea originated there altogether.

[2174] Here's a fascinating side note.

[2175] Do you know how many different kinds of tea plants there are?

[2176] In the world?

[2177] Yeah.

[2178] 400 ,000.

[2179] There's only a single species of tea.

[2180] It's all the exact same tea leaf.

[2181] What do you mean?

[2182] It's just cooked to varying different degrees.

[2183] So it's either browned during the drying and cooking process or it's left more green or it's they add spice.

[2184] but there's only one species of tea.

[2185] Isn't that impossible?

[2186] Yeah, I watched a history of tea on the history channel one time.

[2187] I did.

[2188] Wait, that's quick.

[2189] Isn't that mind -blowing?

[2190] So if they had chai tea, they had tea.

[2191] They had the tea.

[2192] And think about the Anglo -Indian tea trading company.

[2193] It was all about going to India to get tea.

[2194] That's why the Brits loved their tea and had to be in India.

[2195] It's all tea.

[2196] They didn't have that tea.

[2197] They probably wouldn't have to deal with the Brits.

[2198] Oh, my God.

[2199] The tea was their downfall.

[2200] Blessed.

[2201] Oh my God.

[2202] Well, because, you know, chai actually means tea.

[2203] Chai actually means tea.

[2204] I believe that.

[2205] The word is tea.

[2206] Chai is tea.

[2207] Yeah.

[2208] So it's confusing in the Americas when we say chai tea because we're saying t -tie.

[2209] Oh, sure, sure.

[2210] Or what about Thai Chi?

[2211] That's got to fuck them out.

[2212] Yeah.

[2213] But if you say Thai -chi -chi -chi...

[2214] Careful, careful.

[2215] Stop, stop.

[2216] If we're saying Thai Chi Chi, you're saying Thai Chi.

[2217] You're allowed to say that because you're East Indian, is that?

[2218] I mean, East Asian, whatever the fuck.

[2219] South East Asian.

[2220] In 2024, we can all agree I'm Asian.

[2221] Now, listen.

[2222] So this book I'm reading, I just read a line I want to share with you.

[2223] I thought it was so beautiful.

[2224] Oh, please.

[2225] You've memorized it or are you going to pick up the book?

[2226] Yeah, I think.

[2227] I'll probably get it wrong, of course.

[2228] But it said something like, looking into someone's eyes is the only, form of time travel, seeing present and past concurrently.

[2229] Isn't that nice?

[2230] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2231] I think it's really true.

[2232] Yeah.

[2233] Yeah, humans make us time travel.

[2234] I'm going to read and write.

[2235] I wrote a little bit yesterday, which is what made me think.

[2236] I really need to.

[2237] And are you writing in a notebook by hand?

[2238] No, computer.

[2239] That's probably smart because it'll save you this annoying step I'm in the middle of doing.

[2240] Yeah, I'm not doing all my.

[2241] Yeah.

[2242] It's a bad plan.

[2243] It's a very bad plan.

[2244] Yeah, you've written everything by hand and are now trying to convert it.

[2245] Yes.

[2246] And I can't spell and my handwriting sucks.

[2247] So, you know, it's even for me a beat down to read what I've written at times.

[2248] Do you think one of the girls could take that on for you?

[2249] And then that may be a sweet project for them.

[2250] To edit my memoir?

[2251] Well, like they get to read it.

[2252] Yeah.

[2253] But no. I don't think I want them to do it.

[2254] I don't trust.

[2255] Do you want the total truth?

[2256] I don't trust them to transcribe it correctly.

[2257] Yeah.

[2258] I decided I didn't even trust someone else to transcribe it correctly because my writing's so honky and honky because I'm a honky.

[2259] Poor things?

[2260] Sure.

[2261] Okay.

[2262] Libri, we want to talk about poor things today.

[2263] If you haven't seen it, please see it.

[2264] Yeah.

[2265] I would say pause and go watch it, but that's not possible.

[2266] It's so long.

[2267] No. Movies are, okay.

[2268] Can I just watch?

[2269] movies are so long again what's going on i well i have a theory which and it was weird way they're not commerce anymore it's like no one thinks they're green lighting a 30 million dollar movie that's going to make money so these ones that slip through the cracks are like mostly autour driven like crazy good directors with crazy good talent it's not going to make money but fuck it they do it i don't i don't know so in that case it's not the formula like when you're making a movie at a studio they are telling you like look 90s perfect and the most we're going to accept is 120 minutes and you're like you're battling with them and it's a science to them but that's not happening when Christopher Nola makes a movie he makes whatever fucking version was in his head and same with this chap I guess that's a good theory it's it's so counterintuitive to me though because we live in a time where attention is at its most scarce and these movies are so long.

[2270] All of them.

[2271] I mean, I'm looking at all the, I watched that Julia Roberts movie.

[2272] That was two and a half hours.

[2273] Poor things is two and a half hours.

[2274] Maestro's really long.

[2275] I just started saltburn.

[2276] It's also over two hours.

[2277] It's so good, by the way, also.

[2278] Oh, it is?

[2279] Uh -huh.

[2280] I just watched the trailer last night.

[2281] I was trying to determine if I thought it looked good or not.

[2282] It's really good.

[2283] Oh, good.

[2284] I'll watch it.

[2285] Okay.

[2286] Okay.

[2287] So, but the runtime for me is fine, poor things.

[2288] It's super duper long, but I wouldn't have wanted them to speed any part I agree even the parts that felt long were I think intentional and they earned you all this stuff by going through it yes I agree okay I want to of course know what you thought first you loved it right I loved it I loved it so much that I think it's the best movie of the year it is so funny though because we had Willamon so I knew the premise right which is in the trailer which is for anyone's not heard it, it's a woman...

[2289] Wait, and pause if you don't want to hear it because this is what I'm about to say.

[2290] I was with four people who didn't know anything.

[2291] Right.

[2292] Right.

[2293] And it had a massive impact.

[2294] Ah, I bet.

[2295] Them just trying to figure out what the fuck was going on with this woman.

[2296] Yes.

[2297] Yeah, because you probably, did they just think she was like mentally handicapped the first?

[2298] Well, exactly.

[2299] So Anna was next to me and I knew the premise, which we'll say now.

[2300] And we said in the Willem episode, this kind of Frankenstein character in the early 1900s in London puts a baby's brain in a woman's body.

[2301] Yes.

[2302] She has died and she was pregnant with a baby and he took the baby's brain and put in the mother's head.

[2303] And now he's raising this 30 plus year old baby.

[2304] And so the movie starts and she's a baby walking around.

[2305] And I laugh.

[2306] Really hard.

[2307] And they thought you were laughing at a handicapped person.

[2308] Right.

[2309] Ana then was like, oh, I felt okay to laugh once you laughed because at first I didn't think I was allowed to laugh.

[2310] Yeah, right.

[2311] If you think you're watching like Helen Keller, you shouldn't be laughing.

[2312] Oh.

[2313] Helen Keller is a great movie, but you would never laugh at her.

[2314] It's a movie?

[2315] Yeah, she was a real person.

[2316] Well, I know her as a real person.

[2317] Yeah, and there's a movie.

[2318] Okay, anyway.

[2319] Okay.

[2320] Okay, so.

[2321] So you were free to laugh.

[2322] All right, but I want to hear your opinion.

[2323] There's this crazy part at the beginning where Willem Defoe had, he's a, yeah, he's like a Frankenstein character.

[2324] His father worked on him.

[2325] Yes.

[2326] And it's, oh, that part is heartbreaking.

[2327] It is.

[2328] He's so good in it.

[2329] He's so unbelievably good.

[2330] Oh, my God.

[2331] But yeah, he like.

[2332] So is Rami.

[2333] I was so happy with how good Rami was.

[2334] I know.

[2335] Everyone was, Mark, oh my God.

[2336] Ruffalo is the insane.

[2337] Revelation.

[2338] It's hard to say it's his best because he's been brilliant so many fucking times.

[2339] Fax Catcher.

[2340] I mean, he's so good, but he hit a zone in this movie that was so hysterical to watch.

[2341] When he starts losing his shit.

[2342] Oh, my God.

[2343] Oh, it's so good.

[2344] Everyone's incredible.

[2345] Emma Stone is unreal.

[2346] She's so good in it.

[2347] She's so free.

[2348] She's unbelievable in it.

[2349] Yes.

[2350] Yeah, it's the performance of a lifetime hers in that.

[2351] If she wanted to retire now, she's good.

[2352] Yeah.

[2353] Okay, but what did you think of the themes and what did you think were the themes?

[2354] Because to me, I just was like, I love what's being explored right now.

[2355] They toss around a lot of things.

[2356] I think one major one is a, well, I guess sort of ding, ding, ding what we were just talking about, what you lose.

[2357] Uh -huh.

[2358] as you get older.

[2359] Yes.

[2360] Yeah, that was a really impactful thing.

[2361] It's like what are the trade -offs of getting more sophisticated and understanding the world around you?

[2362] Like, what do you lose when you understand the world around you?

[2363] What pains come with it?

[2364] And you lose some, in a bizarre way, you lose intelligence.

[2365] Like, children have a level of understanding that's, again, very pure that we lose.

[2366] Well, it's not hampered by the layers of culture yet.

[2367] It's like however they feel they feel.

[2368] That's that.

[2369] And then that's the truth.

[2370] There's no guilt.

[2371] There's no, the no guilt part was really fascinating.

[2372] Yeah.

[2373] Like, spoiler, I guess.

[2374] Not really, but when she's learning about her body.

[2375] I mean, that has to be talked about in order for me to explore the point I want to explore.

[2376] But yeah, she discovers masturbation quite early.

[2377] And she thinks it's the make her happy.

[2378] The way she calls it is like self -touching, make me happy or something.

[2379] Yeah, I forget exactly the phrase.

[2380] And she can't believe it.

[2381] This can be done at all times.

[2382] You can make yourself happy as many times as you want in a day.

[2383] And she can't get over that.

[2384] It's so funny.

[2385] It is.

[2386] And she's like trying to explain it to this older lady who's obviously unhappy and she's telling her the cure for it.

[2387] Yes, yes, yes.

[2388] Yeah, so the aging thing was really profound.

[2389] To me, and I'm going to parallel it with this.

[2390] Anthony Bourdain documentary.

[2391] I don't think I've ever seen a movie tackle this incredibly complex, weird, paradoxical fantasies men have.

[2392] So Mark Ruffalo's character is with her at the beginning, not all men.

[2393] A lot of men have this fantasy where it's like, you want this creature that's hyper -sexual, hyper -adventurous, hyper -fun, and then immediately you will try to control.

[2394] that aspect of her and be threatened by that aspect of her and end up basically destroying this thing you really wanted and then when they proved to be everything you were originally attracted to you lose your mind like this was the anthony bourdain story this is what happened to him is he was with this younger girl that captured this thing for him that he then couldn't stay connected with and he was getting self -conscious.

[2395] It was so...

[2396] That's interesting, yeah.

[2397] I found it to be so spot on of this crazy paradox.

[2398] And I don't know, maybe women have it too in some other version, but there's this kind of, it's the old man with the young woman.

[2399] It's like, oh, she's so exciting and sexual and hungry and passionate and playful and adventurous.

[2400] And now I'm with her and I'm terrified that she'll want more than me. Because what I liked about her is that she wanted everything.

[2401] Yes.

[2402] And now I'm going to completely turn myself into this monster trying to squash out that flame.

[2403] It's pretty fascinating.

[2404] It can make a man go crazy.

[2405] And as we, the movie, I thought just did it a incredibly honest job.

[2406] Yes.

[2407] That's really smart.

[2408] I hadn't thought about that.

[2409] Yeah, I was wondering, because I was, obviously, as a man, it was so clear to me. Like, I could relate to the excitement of meeting this creature.

[2410] It's really interesting hearing it from that perspective because I did think, you know, I was like, oh, my God, men are so ridiculous.

[2411] Yeah.

[2412] In my head, what happened is he wanted to use her for sex.

[2413] He so much said so, like, you know, for an adventure, for fun.

[2414] Yeah.

[2415] He even says, like, you're going to want to fall in love with me. Yeah.

[2416] But don't.

[2417] You can't.

[2418] He wanted to use her for sex, but because she didn't care, because she didn't fall in love with him, then he fell in love with her.

[2419] Yep, totally, totally.

[2420] The movie was deeply feminist, which I loved.

[2421] And I was just thinking how much stuff, because we're watching Gen V, also incredibly feminist.

[2422] This season of Fargo, Five, is, like, insanely feminist.

[2423] Really?

[2424] Yes.

[2425] And then this movie was insanely feminist.

[2426] I definitely think there were white men telling everyone's story for a long time, and that was not great and should be fixed.

[2427] But at the same time, I'm delighted that someone as talented as this guy is allowed to tell a feminist story because he's got such an incredible world in his mind, and I wouldn't want him to be limited to only telling dude's stories because he's so fucking masterful.

[2428] And I'm glad because I can see some version of the left saying that wasn't his movie to make, you know.

[2429] Because it's just as feminist as Barbie to me, that movie.

[2430] Yeah, I mean, different, right?

[2431] Like, I do think if a man made Barbie...

[2432] Well, the inclination is to think it wouldn't be as good, right?

[2433] I mean, I guess that's kind of what I would think immediately is, like, it wouldn't be as authentic.

[2434] The messages that were being conveyed were so deeply personal, probably to Greta.

[2435] To women.

[2436] Yeah.

[2437] But I would argue this thing I just saw was equally as impressive in that way.

[2438] Like really understood this insane box we put females in and what role we want them to play.

[2439] And we want them to be a baby and then we also, and be dependent on us.

[2440] But we also want them to be a hellcat and the sexiest person in the world.

[2441] But then only towards us.

[2442] And, you know, just all this crazy.

[2443] But that's the difference.

[2444] It's a feminist movie through a male lens.

[2445] Like it's seeing the folly of men.

[2446] So I do think it's okay for a man to.

[2447] But it is her story for sure.

[2448] She's the vehicle, but like the themes, I think you're right in saying there's a lot about what men do to women or how they are around them.

[2449] And I think that's, it's great for men to be self -aware enough to be able to tell that.

[2450] Great movie.

[2451] Great movie.

[2452] Great movie.

[2453] Also, it's weird.

[2454] Like, it is a weird movie.

[2455] You should probably know that going in.

[2456] You should be prepared to work a bit, and then by the end go, wow, that, because they got to, you have to settle into this insane world that's being presented to you for quite a while.

[2457] Oh, I loved it.

[2458] Okay.

[2459] So your resolution is to read and or write each day.

[2460] Uh -huh.

[2461] Mine, one just very tangible one, is I'm going to quit dipping.

[2462] I've quit dipping according to our current fib.

[2463] I'm no longer dipping.

[2464] Great.

[2465] And then this one just hit me. This one's a little, I think this is too ambitious, but it has occurred to me I might want to start learning about Buddhism a bit.

[2466] Oh, I love that.

[2467] Yeah, and I'm not sure where that came from, but I just decided, oh, I think I, you know, I know where it came from.

[2468] Lincoln and I were watching this show called Holiday Light Fight, and it's where people decorate their homes, extreme.

[2469] Oh, fun.

[2470] And there was this family, which was so cute in California.

[2471] And the mom and dad were from, I think, China.

[2472] And the daughter was like first generation super American, you.

[2473] And the dad is so into decorating the house for Christmas.

[2474] And he's talking.

[2475] And he's like, you know, I don't believe in this.

[2476] But we're Buddhists and we can enjoy anything that celebrates life and blah, blah, blah.

[2477] And the way he was just so happy and he was fucking loving Christmas, but he was a Buddhist.

[2478] and he doesn't believe in any deity.

[2479] I was like, I don't look into that one.

[2480] I think that's great.

[2481] I love that.

[2482] Ding, ding, ding, circling all the way back to the beginning of this, my anxiety.

[2483] Okay.

[2484] I had therapy yesterday.

[2485] Yeah.

[2486] That just reminded me because she was talking about Buddhism a little bit.

[2487] And I was saying, I'm feeling anxious, and I'm feeling hints of old anxiety.

[2488] Old anxiety.

[2489] Sip.

[2490] Duk -duck, duck.

[2491] No, when I had like really bad anxiety and I had panic attacks and all those things and I can feel something happening.

[2492] And so I was telling her like, I really don't want it to get back to that point.

[2493] I don't know what's going on.

[2494] And we came to this conclusion that was sort of interesting where I think, and I'm sharing this because it could be helpful to other people perhaps.

[2495] I think my anxiety is there as a protection mechanism in some ways.

[2496] It comes in when I'm avoiding another feeling.

[2497] Yeah.

[2498] I was like, I was like, I'm anxious at home a lot.

[2499] And my mom is driving so slow through this light, this traffic light.

[2500] And I was like, ah, like, what are you doing?

[2501] Yeah.

[2502] And it was making me so anxious.

[2503] And then really what we got to was I'm just sad.

[2504] I'm sad that they're getting older and there are pieces of it that I see.

[2505] Your grandpa's dying.

[2506] Exactly.

[2507] Yes.

[2508] And it's just really, it's actually very sad.

[2509] But my brain.

[2510] brain doesn't let me have that feeling, so it just puts a bunch of fear on top of it instead.

[2511] Right.

[2512] That makes sense.

[2513] Also, it's sad and it's scary.

[2514] So you start ruminating on these other things that maybe have a solution or that you could control.

[2515] Yeah, perhaps.

[2516] Like, you can't control people dying.

[2517] No. Or getting older.

[2518] Let's focus for me on my financial insecurity.

[2519] Like, let's just decide instead that I'm going to be broke and then I can obsess about that and maybe fix that.

[2520] Yeah, it's just life has a lot of sadness.

[2521] It really does.

[2522] It's like full of it.

[2523] And it's a lot.

[2524] And so, yeah, I think my brain goes into fear mode instead of sitting with sadness.

[2525] Yeah.

[2526] It would rather sit with fear.

[2527] I relate to that, yeah.

[2528] That was my therapist the other day saying, And like, you're quite afraid of your own feelings.

[2529] And definitely that.

[2530] Like, yeah, sadness and despair scare me. Like, there's no coming back that you could surrender to it.

[2531] And it would be everlasting if you indulged it.

[2532] But, yeah, it doesn't feel like indulging anxiety is the same risk.

[2533] It's all very interesting.

[2534] But it's already helped in moments where I am feeling it a tiny bit when I've told myself, there's something else I'm actually feeling.

[2535] What is that?

[2536] Yeah, like focus in on actual things.

[2537] you're sad about and allow yourself to feel sad about it.

[2538] Yes.

[2539] This is happening because I'm sad about this.

[2540] Yeah.

[2541] And then the anxiety goes away because I've just rationalized it away in some way.

[2542] Like found the answer.

[2543] So that was good.

[2544] Last update for me, I watched for the very first time.

[2545] This is embarrassing.

[2546] I watched it on the airplane on the way home from Tennessee.

[2547] It's a wonderful life.

[2548] Have you watched that movie ever?

[2549] Oh, isn't that a ding ding, ding, sad movie?

[2550] In the most joyful movie imaginable at the same time.

[2551] time it makes me now want to see all the frank caper movies because it's so incredibly well done have you seen it okay i had neither and i didn't like how old it is and that everyone's seen it and then i finally watched it and honestly especially what you're talking about with the tj max and all the other stuff i was crying on the airplane at the end of it yeah people cry in that movie it's a wonderful movie it's no wonder that it keeps getting played it's really great i think you should watch I think where you and I in particular, it's a good movie to see.

[2552] Really?

[2553] Yeah, because I think you and I are both very, very goal -oriented.

[2554] And we have a laundry list of things that will be lovable and likable if we achieve.

[2555] And then often we miss, like, the very best things we're doing for everyone, have nothing to do with that.

[2556] Yeah.

[2557] Well, that's nice.

[2558] And the sadness, back to the sadness, the sadness is the T .J. Max of it all.

[2559] It's not getting...

[2560] I know, but I'm already feeling, I'm already like...

[2561] You're already in T .J. Max, Lane.

[2562] Yeah, I'm already in T. Max Land.

[2563] I don't know if I can double down.

[2564] I understand.

[2565] But we'll see.

[2566] I'll let you know.

[2567] Okay.

[2568] We do have some facts.

[2569] Yeah.

[2570] Yeah.

[2571] Our first episode for 2024 is Taraji P. Henson.

[2572] Oh.

[2573] She was so lovely.

[2574] She was.

[2575] She's a firecracker.

[2576] There we go.

[2577] And I felt like she was very spiritually evolved.

[2578] Mm -hmm.

[2579] She also had that superpower you and I are attracted to, which doesn't seem like she was suffering much at the notion that people liked her or didn't like her.

[2580] We like that a lot, right?

[2581] We always covet that when we meet people that seemingly are fine with themselves.

[2582] Yeah.

[2583] She was really cool.

[2584] I like that we're opening this year with her because she's very positive, extremely positive, and not without a bunch of hardship, but yeah, just a beautiful person.

[2585] Okay, but she talked about 10 -10, the number 10 -10, and we have talked about how I always see 11 -11.

[2586] Yeah, she loves 10 -10.

[2587] She loves 10 -10.

[2588] I love 11 -11.

[2589] It's all numerology.

[2590] Okay.

[2591] Well, you said it's all hooey.

[2592] I look it up.

[2593] No, it's not.

[2594] It's real.

[2595] Okay.

[2596] Okay.

[2597] 10 -10 is what they call an angel number.

[2598] Okay.

[2599] Okay.

[2600] Well, 2 -2 -2 -2 -5 -3 -33 and 11 -11 have spiritual connections, but 10 -10 is also an angel number.

[2601] Ding -ding, ding, it's a wonderful life.

[2602] Oh, angels.

[2603] There's angels, yep.

[2604] Okay, according to Glamour magazine, angel numbers are thought to offer support and guidance from guardian angels or even the universe, and each angel number has a different meaning.

[2605] Okay.

[2606] Now, that's from Glamour mag, but now I'm going to go to AllureMag.

[2607] Oh, wow, we're getting all the well -researched.

[2608] Then we're going to a young miss after that.

[2609] We got an article out of YM and Sassy.

[2610] Oh, my God, I bought a really funny vintage book called like Women in Fitness or something, and it has this young lady on the front.

[2611] It's from like the 40s about how to keep fit.

[2612] It's so funny.

[2613] Okay, I'm going to read some.

[2614] Okay.

[2615] zero zero or zero zero zero zero zero zero zero is associated with new opportunities when you witness zero in a sequence either within a set of three four or within a pattern this could signify a fresh start you're at the very beginning of a brand new cycle which means you can create whatever your heart desires don't be afraid to make big bold decisions at this point in your journey the listener won't appreciate this as much as i do but i do need to explain that normally i'm looking at you on the couch and your eyes go down to your computer to tell me these facts.

[2616] I'm in a very weird and privileged position, which is you're also facetiming me from your computer.

[2617] So you're virtually looking into the lens to read to me. Oh, yeah.

[2618] Oh, my God, weird.

[2619] Yes, it's a very new experience with the facts.

[2620] Oh, no. Is it like when you sing to me?

[2621] Well, no, I don't mind this.

[2622] Are you sure?

[2623] Do you need to cover your eyes?

[2624] No, no, no, no. No, I like it.

[2625] It's like you've memorized the facts entirely because you're looking to me directly in the eyes and reading out loud.

[2626] It's like a monologue.

[2627] Yeah.

[2628] 1 -1 -1 or 11 -11.

[2629] This is mine.

[2630] One is a powerful manifestation figure.

[2631] If you encounter one as an angel number, either within a set of three, four, or within a pattern, relish the opportunity to make a wish, set an intention, or plant a seed.

[2632] And this is believed to indicate a green light from the universe.

[2633] You are working with extraordinary support from your angels, guides, or ancestors.

[2634] So at that moment, the present and future are dynamically connected.

[2635] Oh, wonderful.

[2636] And Matthew McConaughey is probably excited about that.

[2637] Zero, zero, zero, green lives.

[2638] Hello, Mr. Universe.

[2639] Okay, ready?

[2640] Yes.

[2641] 2 -2 or 2 -2 -2 -2 -2.

[2642] Two suggests balance, trust, and alignment.

[2643] Experiencing two in a sequence, either within a set of three -four, within a pattern, could mean that someone either in the physical realm or spiritual domain is helping you get where you need to go.

[2644] Seeing twos could indicate that it's an excellent time to reach out to your most trusted companion to see if divine collaboration is possible.

[2645] Oh, my God, divine collaboration.

[2646] Wow.

[2647] Okay, 3333 or 3333.

[2648] 3 is an indication of magnetic creativity.

[2649] Noticing 3 as an angel number either within 3, 4 within a pattern, could mean that you have the opportunity to add your unique.

[2650] talents and abilities to a situation.

[2651] Moreover, the presence of three indicates that by leaning into your innate gifts, you'll find more value and abundance in whatever circumstances you are navigating.

[2652] Your artistic expression is critical.

[2653] Hmm, imperative.

[2654] Okay, I'm only going to do one more.

[2655] Okay.

[2656] I'm going to do fours because we're in 2024.

[2657] And I love fours.

[2658] Evens.

[2659] Twos and fours.

[2660] Fours symbolizes stabilization.

[2661] Observing four as an angel number, either within a set of three, four, or within a pattern.

[2662] I forgot that was coming.

[2663] You did?

[2664] Yeah.

[2665] Suggest that you are in the process of grounding, rooting, and cultivating an infrastructure that's truly built to last.

[2666] When interacting with four, don't be afraid to ask for help or assistance, Dax.

[2667] Especially if you're navigating long -term projects that require specific expertise.

[2668] Fundamentally, this is about establishing trust that will empower you to reach new heights.

[2669] Ooh.

[2670] You know, I think it's all hogwash, and yet I do love even numbers, and I am delighted that the explanation of four being stability and two, because that is the thing I like about is it feels like it's not going to tip over.

[2671] Yeah, and that means this year's going to be really grounded and good and stable.

[2672] Stable.

[2673] Stable.

[2674] We love that.

[2675] Don't need to chew tobacco.

[2676] There's no reason to do it.

[2677] It's so stable.

[2678] Okay, actually, though, I'm going to do one more because you're turning.

[2679] I don't like what age I'm turning.

[2680] I almost want to skip over the age.

[2681] Because you know how I do it.

[2682] I alternate.

[2683] So last year I focused on the fact that I was 48 in an even number because it was 23 and I hate that year.

[2684] But I just focused on my birthday.

[2685] So now I've transitioned perfectly into now I'm focused on the year and I'm ignoring my birthday because nine's not great.

[2686] At least it's divisible though, I guess.

[2687] That's nice.

[2688] Three times three.

[2689] Yeah.

[2690] Actually, it doesn't even make sense for me to read nine because it's not within a set of three, four within a pattern.

[2691] right it doesn't even make sense no it doesn't apply here anyway i always make wishes on 1111 yeah i want you to keep doing it i will forever i happen to be around you quite often on 11 11 11 because we record at 11 often well yeah and i just happened to look at it at that time what have you set an alarm on your phone for 11 11 11 and in every interview that we started like 11 minutes in your phone goes off and then you make a wish out loud maybe that could be part of your resolution too do have on my alarms i have 11 11 saved oh you do wow you only have two alarms i deleted all them and i kept 11 11 oh wow and then i have another one that you know changes every day yeah i have 50 or 60 yeah it's fun to delete them i should try it i will i will for your birthday how are you feeling about your birthday tomorrow it's tomorrow um um generally i'm fine with it you know I guess inching towards 50s bizarre, but I feel very youthful and athletic and healthy.

[2692] So I guess who cares?

[2693] I guess more I'm thinking like, okay, actually this is exactly what this birthday signifies to me, because I'm so bad at asking for something that I want.

[2694] So the clock has started.

[2695] I have a year to think of what I want for my 50th birthday because I know that'll be a big thing.

[2696] Like, well, what do you want to do?

[2697] And I'll be like, I don't know, go roller skating.

[2698] And it won't be eventful.

[2699] Basically, I have a year and I do want to think of something that's really memorable and fun.

[2700] Yeah.

[2701] You know, I think what compounds me getting older, and I'm sure a lot of people who have parents that died really young, feel this way.

[2702] It's always weird when I go, okay, well, I was at my dad's 50th party.

[2703] I flew back to Michigan.

[2704] And he was old.

[2705] Like, he was having a hard time walking.

[2706] He was, his breathing was bad.

[2707] He had heart disease really bad.

[2708] So that's really weird, like how differently my 50th party will be than his.

[2709] But then also you just, I'd be crazy not to go like, wow, and he only had 12 more years.

[2710] So I think having a parent that died young is the only part that gets tricky about getting older for me. That makes sense.

[2711] Or I just haven't seen a shepherd go long distance.

[2712] And I very much want to.

[2713] Well, you will.

[2714] And you do things in your life to maximize that.

[2715] chance that they did not do.

[2716] Yes, yes, yeah.

[2717] Well, which is why I guess dipping is stopping.

[2718] Yeah, although I really don't think I would die of it.

[2719] But yes, but yes, yes.

[2720] Knock on wood.

[2721] Come in.

[2722] Well, I'm excited for your birthday.

[2723] Thank you.

[2724] Thank you.

[2725] And then we have another exciting year ahead of us.

[2726] Oh, my gosh.

[2727] It's going to be a good year.

[2728] I really feel it.

[2729] You're feeling it.

[2730] Oh, good, good, good, good.

[2731] I don't have a poll one way or another.

[2732] I'm not pessimistic about it.

[2733] I just haven't had a big grip of anything about it.

[2734] So I'm delighted to hear that it's tracking to be positive.

[2735] Yeah, it is.

[2736] Okay, wait, hold on.

[2737] I think I might have one more fact.

[2738] Oh, great.

[2739] Did Whoopie win an Oscar for the Color Purple, 1985?

[2740] No. It got a lot of nominations, but no wins.

[2741] No wins.

[2742] Not Oprah?

[2743] She got nominated, though.

[2744] nominated but nope and whoopee nominated but nope best pitcher nominated but no it didn't win best pitcher mm -mm wow but it yeah it got let's see how many one two three four five six seven eight nine ten nominations oh oh can i do one thing just because it's been requested a lot yes hermium permian oh my god great great exactly but i'm not sure what he would say What do we say about the new year?

[2745] Well, it's 2024 already, and I guess I just picked my head up for one second, looked up, and I thought, wow, I thought it was 2018 still, but that time it'll boogie by on you.

[2746] Over here, Hermie and Permian, we're having a real nice little celebration to bring in the new year.

[2747] Got my friend over.

[2748] I don't know what a new year is.

[2749] I am slotted to live for a thousand years.

[2750] Oh, yay.

[2751] This guy's the greatest.

[2752] He's going to be around for 1 ,000 years.

[2753] We're just a tiny speck on his long, long arc of history.

[2754] So try to make it a good spark.

[2755] That's why I invite them over all the time, Hermium, Permian.

[2756] I hope everybody gets all their wishes come through this year.

[2757] Because I know we're living the good life over here in Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, USA.

[2758] Don't need the wish for nothing.

[2759] Already got it all.

[2760] Got a good friend here, my friend, Robot.

[2761] Thank you for calling me your friend.

[2762] He's a good boy.

[2763] Oh, my God.

[2764] He said I was a boy.

[2765] The robot had his same speech impediment for a second, but it cleaned it up midway.

[2766] Oh, my God.

[2767] Oh, I love this friendship.

[2768] What a beautiful friendship.

[2769] I've got a whole day of movie watching plan.

[2770] It's all films with famous robots, Star Wars, CP3, PO, RD2, Then we go straight into Daryl, the boy that was a robot.

[2771] Shortcut, he loved Shortcut.

[2772] Oh.

[2773] I know you don't like Shortcut of Miss Monica because of it's racism.

[2774] That's right.

[2775] I don't, it's not for me, and I find it offensive.

[2776] I would never put that on if you were at my house, Miss Monica.

[2777] What would you play for me?

[2778] Bend it like Beckham.

[2779] That's a celebration of an Indian girl reaching for the stars and touching them.

[2780] Listen, that's really funny that you brought up, Bend It Like Beckham, because it's come up a few times recently.

[2781] Again, Sim, numerology, three's, pattern of threes.

[2782] Third's a charm.

[2783] And because.

[2784] I can't believe all the things it said about three.

[2785] It didn't say it's the charm.

[2786] That was a mistake.

[2787] That was.

[2788] You're right.

[2789] Yeah, Benet, like Beckham.

[2790] it came up and then Rachel, my friend Rachel, was looking for it.

[2791] We were on a group text and she said, oh, good news.

[2792] You can watch it here for free or whatever.

[2793] And I said, bend it like Beckham was so triggering for me. Yeah, scary movie.

[2794] And I actually brought this up in therapy because people saw it and then they recognized that I was Indian too and she outed me that dumb soccer player.

[2795] Shined a big old light on your brownness.

[2796] Yep.

[2797] And no one would have known if it wasn't for her.

[2798] her and I was doing such a good job and she ruined it now when I was with my mom the other day she wanted to go into an Indian grocery store oh right yes to get something and we go in there as soon as I step foot in that grocery store I have a visceral physiological response yes like I have to get out of here I hate it in here if you would have put a hoodie on and stuff to disguise yourself.

[2799] If I had one, I would have.

[2800] I had to literally say to myself a few times, you're not seven.

[2801] Yeah.

[2802] It's okay to be here.

[2803] Right.

[2804] Yes, yes, yes.

[2805] Nothing's going to happen to you.

[2806] You're not in danger here.

[2807] You're not going to be hurt.

[2808] Yeah.

[2809] Isn't that crazy?

[2810] They're deep.

[2811] They're deep.

[2812] As Gabor says to us, it takes us out of the present and puts us in another timeframe.

[2813] Like eyes.

[2814] When we're seven.

[2815] Time travel.

[2816] Way to wrap it all up.

[2817] All the loose ends have been nodded.

[2818] We did it.

[2819] Happy New Year to everybody.

[2820] Happy New Year.

[2821] Happy Day before your birthday, Dax Shepherd.

[2822] Thank you.

[2823] And we'll see you guys on Thursday.

[2824] A couple dozen times a week for the next year.

[2825] That's right.

[2826] All right.

[2827] Love you.

[2828] Bye.

[2829] Love you.