#1334 - Fahim Anwar

[0] Two.

[1] What's up, brother?

[2] How are you?

[3] Good see you.

[4] Outside the store.

[5] I know.

[6] Isn't it weird when you run into a comedian that you don't normally hang out with outside the store?

[7] I mean, I would recognize you.

[8] But sometimes you'll meet someone that you met at a meeting and then it's like at a Ralph and you can't place the context.

[9] That's bad.

[10] Especially if it's like an executive and they really like you to remember them.

[11] Are you good at faking it?

[12] Nope.

[13] Terrible.

[14] What's your tell?

[15] I just say I don't know.

[16] I'm sorry.

[17] Do you do this thing where you go, it's good seeing you.

[18] instead of nice meeting you nope I've done nice meeting you and they've go we've met five times I go shit I don't think people understand the volume of people that comedians especially at your level like come across every day like how many shows we do people come up to you afterwards and being like a great set blah blah blah and how many meetings in general are you aware of Dunbar's number oh is that like how many number of people it's like a hundred or something you can keep in your head I don't think it's an exact science but I think they think it's somewhere around 150 I believe it You got about 150 people in your head.

[19] And after that, you fucked.

[20] Yeah.

[21] Yeah.

[22] It's tough.

[23] It makes sense, right?

[24] There's no way you can keep them all in there.

[25] No. That doesn't make any sense.

[26] Yeah, but it's cool outside of the store, you know, having a chat.

[27] Yes.

[28] It's like you feel the most camaraderie with other comedians outside the store when you run into them at an airport.

[29] I was just thinking about that.

[30] Every time I go to L .A .X. I'll bump into, like, someone on Joe Coy, or last time it was Bert Kreisher and, like, Hayes of Straho we're going to do.

[31] I think Utah.

[32] It's just like a hub for all of us.

[33] Yes.

[34] So you'll see so many.

[35] Because we're all just transients.

[36] We're here for the middle of the week.

[37] And then when the weekends come for the clubs, we're all going somewhere.

[38] Yeah.

[39] People that want to come to the store, Tuesday is like probably the best night.

[40] And people don't understand why.

[41] Like it's so stacked.

[42] Like, why is it you?

[43] Why is it Burt?

[44] Why is it Krecher?

[45] Why is it Joey Diaz?

[46] Yeah.

[47] And we're just biting time until the weekend.

[48] Right?

[49] And practicing.

[50] Yeah.

[51] Yeah.

[52] It's one of the weird art forms that you can't practice alone you have to use an audience yeah don't you think oh for sure and even like i'll be telling the same joke and i won't really change the words but it'll be like an inflection it's almost like i don't know when a jazz musician or something like plays a note just a little differently you know you ever notice that like a joke won't work maybe because i'm i'm like making a meal out of this word but if i kind of just like throw it away yeah oh now that fixes it it's interesting to do it long enough where you realize it's like it's not the words sometimes there's like a performance nuance to it to fix the joke like it's on paper it's the same joke you know what's really weird is that none of this shit has written anywhere like what we're talking about you know what the worst is like I did um like JFL they're doing a taping out there for TV and they're like send us your transcript so that means you have to sit at a computer and like it takes the magic like whatever your seven minutes you want to do for the taping they want you to sit on like on a Mac and open up word and be like how you guys doing it or whatever just like type it all out you need a better manager no but the thing like i refused i didn't do it for you i just dodged it i asked alia because i used to do it in the past and i was like yo they're asking me to write this out it's taking all the fun and organic like i feel it would really hurt my performance yeah if i literally wrote a transcript then i'm like a robot up there and he was like just don't do it and i go what happens he's like nothing nothing happens he's like i've done it a million times that just just keep just be dodgy it's some pencil pusher that doesn't make any sense i think they get you know well they have power over people that don't have a name yet i think they have people above them breathing down their neck and then you know shit rolls downhill so then they keep on asking like where is it where is it just change your number yeah yeah yeah well that's why i had like the reps kind to be a buffer and like he's very aloof and like they're very busy they contact you at all was it direct to you the thing is i would i would see them throughout the fest and they're lovely people i love I'm like, ah, I'm, no, I play the game a little better.

[53] I go, I'm not there yet.

[54] I'm not, I'm not in your mother's pussy level yet.

[55] I still got to be like, I'm going to go back to the hotel room.

[56] It's a funny thing to say.

[57] In your mother's pussy.

[58] Yeah, where's the transcript?

[59] You didn't check your mother's pussy?

[60] I swore that I, I fact, your mother's pussy has a fax machine.

[61] I faxed it to her.

[62] It should be in there.

[63] You should go check.

[64] Check around the corner.

[65] Yeah, so it's the worst having to type it out.

[66] Well, it's also like, just for laughs is a weird situation.

[67] It's a fault.

[68] right it used well yes it's a weird way of looking at it it used to be very valuable for comedians now it's very valuable for just for laughs because they have this enormous platform and you go there and everybody knows that all these great comedians are going to be there and they make an enormous amount of money off the comedians it used to be the comedians would go there because the industry would go there and the whole key to the whole thing was development deals for sitcoms and they tossed out so much money i always hear about the gold rush and the heyday of jfl and how deals are getting thrown out left and right and like lives were made i don't know that jfl but fake lives were made too like they they've ruined it like because i have a theory about people who aren't comedians like they think they see people laughing at stuff and they see something's fun they think it's funny but a comedian can go this is just tricks yeah yeah well because uh the mount the volume of comedy that we watch on a regular basis is so much so we can discern like Ian Andrew tonight will talk about this sometimes we watch we're students of comedy we watch a lot of comedy people can get like a huge pop out of the room but like Ian can cut through the bullshit and know that like oh that's a parlor trick or yeah so it's a different type of thing but I think a lot of times you know suits and everything they just hear decibels or right place right time and they believe this lightning rod moment or whatever this great set is indicative of their entire comedic being instead of like a lucky role yeah do you ever heard what is that guy's name was his name chicken is that what I always hear that as an example like I heard he blew the roof he was the guy that ended it all like literally because I think they gave him a half a million dollars or something crazy like that I kind of want to see this chicken set like what was the set that just blew everyone's mind he was a handsome fella and he was young and he was very energetic and they thought he was going to be the next Jim Carrey did you see him around was he an LA guy no I don't know where he was from but I saw him at just for laughs I saw him quite a few times and he was a nice guy yeah but he was terrible I mean in the way that like it was just a bunch of blah but it was there was no substance to it there was no thought to it so they tried to put it together they tried to make like a development deal and he did a little touring, but it all went south, and it fell apart, and he eventually committed suicide.

[69] Do you know how many years he was doing it?

[70] He hung himself in front of a school.

[71] A school?

[72] Yeah, like, that's what I had heard.

[73] Like, you hung himself on a tree in front of a school.

[74] Jeez.

[75] This is his last piece of performance art. I don't know if that's true.

[76] See, the thing is, like, I shouldn't even say it on a podcast and millions of people going to list to him, but I did.

[77] But the hanging part is right, right?

[78] Yes, he definitely committed suicide.

[79] It's one of those things, man, where, like, if it didn't work out and he didn't, develop it didn't he didn't he didn't he never became like a legit comedian everybody thing all right over there jamie yeah i think if like if that had happened and he actually had i don't know the equity of a stand -of comedian and been doing it for a long enough yes that would be like a bump in the road but you can come back from that oh yeah if that's just sort of like your lotto ticket then that's why it was so drastic i think well some people are just not they're great comics but they're not really into acting they're not the best at acting and they're kind of force into acting.

[80] Yeah, I love Mitch Hebriggs joke where he's like, he's a great stand -up, you know?

[81] And it's like, you know, they'll come up to me and they'll be like, can you act?

[82] He's like, that's like going up to a chef and being like, can you farm?

[83] Yeah, that's true.

[84] I mean, I'm butchering it.

[85] But, yeah, there's such different things.

[86] But it's a, you have an agent, right?

[87] And the agent wants to make money.

[88] So it's an avenue for cash.

[89] Yeah.

[90] And, you know, you look at Seinfeld and Tim Allen and Roseanne and Brett Butler.

[91] And there was all these comedians in the 90s that had made a ass load of money.

[92] Yeah.

[93] doing sitcoms.

[94] Well, that's the quicker payoff, too.

[95] I even noticed it with my own career, like when I was a younger comedian out here in my early 20s when I moved from Seattle, like when I first got reps and stuff, I was going out on these auditions for like CW shows or just whatever.

[96] They just throw you against the wall.

[97] You're an actor.

[98] Comedy is this thing you do at night.

[99] They don't even really give a shit that you do stand up.

[100] They probably don't even think you're funny.

[101] You know?

[102] Yeah.

[103] It's just a cute thing you do.

[104] It's like a kid, like a dance recital or something.

[105] Like, they don't care.

[106] As long as you're going to these auditions in the daytime.

[107] So they just hope that you hit on, like, a series regular.

[108] Yeah.

[109] And then that's some cash flow for the biz.

[110] Oh, yeah.

[111] But luckily, I mean, I don't know, I think your successes are carved by your failures.

[112] So I'm kind of fortunate that I would get some acting things here and there, but never anything substantial enough to take me away from stand -up.

[113] Well, never anything substantial.

[114] The worst is when they tell you to stop doing stand -up because it's messing with your acting role.

[115] Like, that's what they did at Tim Allen.

[116] Oh, really?

[117] Yeah, because his acting, he was, you know, he was on home.

[118] improvement.

[119] It was a gigantic hit.

[120] They were making gazillions of dollars.

[121] But he was a I don't want to say he was a blue comedian, but he some of it was a little risque.

[122] So how did Saggett deal with it?

[123] He stopped doing stand -up.

[124] Oh, okay.

[125] So he stopped.

[126] Dude, Saggett stopped doing stand -up forever.

[127] Forever.

[128] He really didn't start doing it again until after that show was done.

[129] What the fuck was that show again?

[130] Full house.

[131] Yeah.

[132] He stopped doing it for a long time.

[133] And then kind of drifted his way back in, and now he does it regularly.

[134] Yeah.

[135] I think that's, you know, maybe they did that at the time, but it's almost detrimental to let go.

[136] Because stand -up is your car.

[137] Like, it's your business.

[138] You're in control over it.

[139] And the TV stuff, it's like one hand washes the other.

[140] If you let that go, you're letting go of this revenue stream so that when the acting gig is over, you're kind of fucked because this wasn't, like, building along with it.

[141] It also was a point of confidence where you understand what's funny and what it isn't.

[142] Like, you know how to be funny because you know how to be funny because you're, you're you're funny in front of a live audience all the time.

[143] Yeah.

[144] Well, you're at the store.

[145] You have to be there so much.

[146] Like, you're there more than someone at your level.

[147] You would expect someone at your level to be at.

[148] You have to be there.

[149] You can't slack off.

[150] Everyone knows those really famous guys that slacked off and started to suck.

[151] And the good thing is nowadays, the cycle of comedy, we all do a special basically every two years.

[152] Pretty much all of us.

[153] Burr, Kreischer, Seguera, Ari.

[154] Everybody kind of does a special, or tries to do a special.

[155] Somewhere around every two years so every two years you throw it all out and you're a beginner again yeah you have no fucking act you're terrified you have to come up with new premises and scramble and that requires a lot of performing yeah i like how burroughs on here talking about it was cool to hear a guy like him even talk about just the dilution of specials where he's like they're not special anymore it's just like a flyer or like a brochure a brusure that i'm still around yes that's all it is a little bit yeah yeah i mean obviously there's different degrees of polish with some of the specials and how great some of them are but there's so many now it's a weird name special yeah well it's just leftover from yesterday year it's like why are albums a certain length because of the yeah but at least an album is like a collection of music that is all in one thing that you get that's kind of been consistent forever a special it's like what is it anymore what is it i guess 45 minutes to an hour of jokes strung together yeah yeah to let everybody know but it's also like an album like if you go to see Fleetwood Mac, I don't know why the fucker.

[156] I came up with Fleetwood Mac right here.

[157] Yeah, like Fleetwood Mac.

[158] I do too.

[159] But you're expecting the hits, whereas a comic, you're expecting the shit that's not on the special, expecting all new stuff.

[160] Yeah.

[161] Yeah, that is interesting.

[162] Sometimes you'll get them where they're like, do the...

[163] That's a very rare type of act, though.

[164] That's like Gaffigan gets that, for sure, because he's got some classic bits.

[165] And I think that also happens with Russell Peters.

[166] I think he gets some requests for classic bits.

[167] Do you ever get that?

[168] No. They do.

[169] know how to do them anymore oh i know i purge him like i barely know yeah yeah someone who's yelling out bruce jenner the other day i was like i can't do that bit i don't know how to do it i'll fuck it up yeah like you don't want it you don't want me to do a sad version of just like what you could remember where forget the tag lines oh let me do it again let me start again yeah redo guys i fucked up guys remember how much fun you were having yeah let's go back to one so you are one of the rare comedians it doesn't smoke pot yeah i guess so we talked about that and it's kind of interesting, especially being in this industry, not taking advantage of that because it's all, especially the store, like, you'll do a show and they're like, hey, you want these three bags, these three pillowcases of weed and CBD oil?

[170] And you're like, no. You don't take the CDD oil either?

[171] I haven't thought, like, is it good?

[172] What's great for you?

[173] What would I use it for?

[174] It's great for anxiety.

[175] It's great for, it reduces inflammation.

[176] It's great for, a lot of people use it for sleep.

[177] It's just good for you.

[178] It's like, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a, it's nutrient.

[179] You know, it's healthy for you.

[180] Yeah, it's hot right now.

[181] It's very hot.

[182] Oh, if I was in the biz and be like, get CBD on the phone.

[183] Love CBC.

[184] I love what CBD is doing.

[185] Love it.

[186] B .D. How you doing?

[187] Canola's out?

[188] Cbedd.

[189] Yeah.

[190] Canola is bullshit.

[191] That stuff's bad for you.

[192] Can you cook with CBD?

[193] That's a good question.

[194] I bet you can't.

[195] I would imagine it has a low flash point.

[196] Like it would burn quickly.

[197] I don't know.

[198] Let's find out.

[199] I think it's usually mixed with coconut oil.

[200] I think the people will.

[201] The coconut has a high flashpoint.

[202] Wait, doesn't grape seed oil have a low?

[203] Grape seed oil, I think, has a high flashpoint, too.

[204] I think it's good to cook with.

[205] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[206] Okay, so it takes longer for a day.

[207] Yeah, okay.

[208] It's a high temperature high before it smokes.

[209] Some people said they've cooked with it.

[210] Yeah, fucking burnouts, stoners, a bunch of losers.

[211] I bet they stink.

[212] There's some people that do everything with weed, and they need to just stop.

[213] Where's the hemp people?

[214] I feel like you don't hear from them as much anymore.

[215] Yeah, they're in.

[216] They're laying in weight.

[217] Yeah, was that like the back door?

[218] Like, this hemp is cool.

[219] Like, what about?

[220] Well, CBD is for grandma.

[221] That's how you get people to vote for it because grandma and grandpa use it and it helps their joints.

[222] Right.

[223] And they're like, well, I'll tell you what.

[224] This CBD, I mean, it's not doing anything from my brain.

[225] I'm not getting high.

[226] But my joints never felt better.

[227] I feel amazed with the CBD.

[228] And I'm going to vote for it.

[229] And I really want to get a hold of Trump and let them know.

[230] That's not bad.

[231] CBD is.

[232] It really is the future.

[233] What is the region?

[234] The guy?

[235] It's random, random old guy from the middle of nowhere.

[236] CBD is what does revolutionized nutrition and really affected my life in a very positive way.

[237] I think people...

[238] I feel like you're a little south, maybe Maryland, maybe somewhere outskirts of Baltimore.

[239] People don't know you have that gear or you forget.

[240] You do voices really well.

[241] I don't have that many, though.

[242] I can only do a few.

[243] Are you the type, though, where if you're doing a bit and you need this person to talk or whatever, you'll figure it out?

[244] Yeah, I can get a few.

[245] There's a few voices I can get out.

[246] Yeah, because you're Alex Jones and like, you'll get into it.

[247] I've known Alex so well.

[248] I've known Alex for like more than 20 years.

[249] So that's just easy.

[250] Yeah, I've hung out with that guy.

[251] We've been hammered together so many times.

[252] It's like it's, that is the most misunderstood guy on the planet.

[253] He just needs somebody next to him.

[254] That's what he needs somebody to go, Alex, let's slow down.

[255] Like, you had a really good point there.

[256] You just need a manager who's always with him?

[257] He even agreed with me. We talked about it.

[258] I said, you just need like a rational journey.

[259] journalist who's next to you to like, he goes, you're right, you're right, you're right, I do need that.

[260] And I go, just, you need someone who just balances it out.

[261] Look, he was right about all this Jeffrey Epstein shit.

[262] That is a fucking fact.

[263] Alex Jones called this years ago, years ago.

[264] He was saying that they take a lot of famous people to this island and they have all these young girls that this guy hooks them up with.

[265] He was talking about this years ago.

[266] Now it is mainstream news.

[267] and those human hybrid experiments going on which sound like a complete joke when he said it up we were like what we were like what now it's fucking mainstream news this is a fact man people want to write that guy off because he'll tell you he's crazy he'll let you know he's crazy I mean on my show there was one of the funniest things he ever said he's like look I'm gonna be honest with you I'm kind of retarded and I fell to the ground lap but that's who he really is man people just have him lumped in And, you know, it's like some people, they don't represent the best aspects of themselves right to people.

[268] And then other people try to define them.

[269] Like, people try to define you.

[270] It's really, one of the things that's really kind of weird about the more famous you get, the more people try to define you in a way that's detrimental or a way that's dismissive and limiting.

[271] Like, I've noticed that after this Bernie Sanders thing that I did.

[272] So any listening to this, if you're saying this, I am not right wing at all.

[273] all.

[274] So stop saying that.

[275] It's silly.

[276] It's foolish.

[277] I've interviewed right -wing people.

[278] I am 100 % left -wing.

[279] The only thing that stops me from the only things that I disagree with about left -wing people is support for the military, support for police, and the Second Amendment.

[280] That's probably it.

[281] Everything else across the board, I lean way left in terms of like, Bernie Sanders made a ton of sense to me and I would 100 % vote for him.

[282] Tulsi Gabbard is my favorite.

[283] I mean, I'm not a right -wing person.

[284] So this nonsense, like, so many people were saying that, you know, Bernie Sanders spent this time on a right -wing podcast.

[285] Like, what do you say?

[286] Sure.

[287] And don't you think he weighed the pros and cons of, like, it was an opportunity for him?

[288] And I think everyone thought it was a win as well.

[289] I don't think he had any idea in the way it was.

[290] Really?

[291] Yeah, I think it was one of his young staff members who's friends with Kyle Kalinsky, who is a really good left -wing progressive talk show guy on YouTube.

[292] And Kyle hooked it all up.

[293] And this idea that, you know, it's bad for someone to talk to people.

[294] It's just, it's foolish.

[295] There's a weird thing that's going on right now.

[296] I thought it was a great platform for him to get his ideas out there and to be heard in something other than just sound bites.

[297] Yes.

[298] That could be taken out of context.

[299] It's a great platform, I think, for anyone who's running for anything to have a long -form conversation.

[300] And it's good for us, too, because we get to find out who they really are.

[301] You really can't hide in a long conversation.

[302] Oh, yeah, three hours?

[303] I only did an hour and 10 with Bernie That's all he had Because you know The guy's running for He's legit running for president Like he could be president Right He's not like You know like there's some people That are running for president They're like all right bro You know like What was that guy Zoltan What is his name?

[304] He was the guy was running The transhumanist Platform Ishtivan How did he say his last name?

[305] Very nice guy Sorry I forget Is that this for this coming?

[306] No it was the last one It was 2016 We had him on But, you know, it's like one of those guys Like, Ben Glebe, you're like, alright, good luck You don't think Ben's going to win?

[307] Oh, I do.

[308] Okay.

[309] Oh, yeah.

[310] But you got to respect the swing.

[311] That's what's great about this country, you know?

[312] The swing?

[313] What are you talking about?

[314] You could run for president?

[315] No, no, not that swing.

[316] Just like.

[317] Anybody could run for president?

[318] Yeah.

[319] And it sounds far -fetched like, yeah, okay.

[320] But, I mean, you've got to be crazy enough to think you can be.

[321] Well, look, anything can and will happen when it comes to be.

[322] being president like people get assassinated people get exposed as being a criminal like look do you remember when michael avonati was the hero of the left the democratic party is like he's the guy that's going to run against don't trump and he's going to take him down because he's tough and he's this and he's that and michael avonauti i mean that there's a compilation of left -wing pundits talking about the hero that is michael avonati you don't hear a fucking word from that guy anymore so you were in a time capsule right a year ago when everyone was michael avonauty crazy and they just and then they woke you up fahim it's 12 months later and you'd be like looking at the news hey um where's where's our guy havennaudi i mean i was that happens i went all in they'll have their champion and then this other shit you know yeah d or r there's always they ascend and then there's something like dark shit from the past and then you don't see them anymore but then there's guys that you know like one of the things that i was getting at during the trump uh campaign when he's running for president the first time was like this guy's not going away like this is not going away.

[323] He knows what he's doing.

[324] He knows how to fuck with people?

[325] When did you know?

[326] Like, how, like, early in the campaign did you kind of realize?

[327] I don't know, man, but my...

[328] Also, did you feel like you had a better read on it, just doing stand -up across the country?

[329] Because I feel like, you could be in a bubble, you could be in New York and L .A. And just be like, oh, that's never going to happen.

[330] This is ridiculous.

[331] But doing stand -up in some red states, you kind of...

[332] You're with the people.

[333] You're doing jokes.

[334] And, like, you get the temperature of an audience more so than someone who just has, like, a death job.

[335] For sure.

[336] But also, I have a lot of right -wing friends.

[337] A lot of right -wing friends, especially from the hunting world.

[338] I have a lot of friends that live in Iowa and Oregon, and they have a lot of right -wing friends, too.

[339] And there's a whole part of the country that the big cities, New York and Los Angeles and the big democratic -leaning cities, they were all dismissing.

[340] The Democrats thought that Hillary was the most experienced and Trump was a buffoon and that that grab her by the pussy tape, that was it, we got it, it's in the bag.

[341] They all believe that, but the middle of the country did not believe in her.

[342] They didn't trust her.

[343] They thought she was some sleazy politician who's been involved in the business forever, and she licks her finger and figures out which way the wind's blowing, and that's what she says.

[344] And that they thought that Trump was a straight shooter, and he's going to train that swamp, and he's going to do this, and bring jobs back, and he's talking about clean coal.

[345] It's almost like, I think you're just so outside of the system, Like it seemed that like it could have done anything just like we want someone to throw a wrench into it.

[346] Yes, that's it.

[347] There's a lot of people that just wanted a wrench thrown into it.

[348] And he definitely threw a wrench into it.

[349] And I think ultimately that's going to be good for the left as well because they're going to realize that you can't just get away with that same stupid old school politician style of doing it anymore.

[350] I think he's just blown up the playbook.

[351] Even like Bernie calling Trump was it stupid or an idiot in a post or something?

[352] Like, Amazing.

[353] This is a new paradigm.

[354] Like, they're adopting, they're taking pages out of what worked for Trump.

[355] Like, look, we've got to take some bully tactics.

[356] And then even in Moscow Mitch, I'm like, oh, they get it.

[357] Nicknames are the only thing that's thick.

[358] Yeah.

[359] Yelling at the rally, like, Moscow, Mitch.

[360] Like, this is part of the playbook now.

[361] Sleepy Joe Biden.

[362] That's my favorite.

[363] As it evolved, do you like to think that we get as adults, when it comes to politics, it goes back to grade school.

[364] The only thing that seems to be effective is yelling Moscow Mitch.

[365] or, you know, sleepy Joe Biden or Pocahontas.

[366] Yep.

[367] These are, these, like, stand -up rules.

[368] It's just, like, rickles just, yeah, it's so interesting.

[369] And my favorite about the Pocahontas one was when people were saying that he's racist for calling Elizabeth Warren Pocahontas.

[370] It's a Disney movie.

[371] You can't, you can't go that far.

[372] Yeah, someone called me Aladdin.

[373] I'd be juiced.

[374] Aladdin's cool.

[375] He has a pet monkey.

[376] He eats apples.

[377] Yes.

[378] Did you see the most recent one?

[379] I did.

[380] It was pretty.

[381] pretty good.

[382] Got bad reviews.

[383] I didn't understand it.

[384] People didn't like how...

[385] What they felt, what I read was that Will Smith modernized it too much?

[386] What does that mean?

[387] I don't know.

[388] Like, I prefer a classic genie.

[389] Oh, he used modern urban vernacular.

[390] Yeah.

[391] And they just weren't uncomfortable with that.

[392] You remember how, you know, the first photos came out of Will Smith as a genie?

[393] I love how little it takes to whip this nation into a frenzy.

[394] Like, I'll wake up and open up Twitter.

[395] And then the Will Smith genie, everyone.

[396] is freaking out over that.

[397] And it's crazy how we put them on the same pedestal, like some sort of Trump scandal or like Petophile Island.

[398] And then the Blue Jeannie or Sonic looks weird.

[399] Right.

[400] Sonic, the Hedgehog looked weird.

[401] And both both take on the same amount of fervor online.

[402] Yeah, same amount of psychic energy.

[403] Yeah.

[404] Yeah, one of my, I think one of the biggest gaffes, biggest mistakes ever was Ben Affleck thinking he could be Batman.

[405] If Ben Affleck never ran for Batman, he would have 50 % less hate.

[406] You think?

[407] Yes.

[408] Aren't there some people who liked?

[409] Or no. There's no one who liked Ben Affleck as Batman.

[410] Even Ben Affleck didn't like himself with Batman.

[411] When was the last time you heard anybody talk about Ben Affleck as Batman?

[412] Ready go?

[413] Yeah.

[414] No one.

[415] Christian Bales, Batman, motherfucker.

[416] Even Michael Keaton's Batman, but he's old.

[417] That's so hard, though.

[418] You know, like, you're not going to hit a home run with Batman every time.

[419] But everybody who does it and fails their career hits a ditch.

[420] Who do you think?

[421] All right, do you think, okay, Kilmer, leveled up or no from Batman?

[422] Well, Kilmer did it once, and he, He did a good job, but then he decided to get fat.

[423] He's like, fuck this business.

[424] He went crazy.

[425] Is he in the Top Gun movie, the new one?

[426] I hope so.

[427] I hope so.

[428] That'd be great.

[429] The lady's not in it.

[430] The girlfriend?

[431] The really hot blonde.

[432] What is her name?

[433] Kelly, something or another?

[434] McGillis.

[435] Is that it?

[436] Yeah, she was beautiful back of the day.

[437] I think she might have gone the Val Kilmer route, if you know what I'm saying.

[438] What about, what about Clooney?

[439] Look at that.

[440] Clooney.

[441] He's like a. He's selling Nespresso and tequila His was like a comedic take Arnold Schwarzenegger made way more money than George Clooney in that movie Oh like me and my buddies We just say cool party Like we just say it to each other No matter what party we're at What is that in Alicia Silverstone She was in that And Chris O'Donnell What Why did I forget about that He was Robin Now he's on a TV show with LLJ What is that one?

[442] Is that it's like a N -CIS or something That is something that the same people talk like that guy was making fun of, that's what they DVR that.

[443] Oh.

[444] That's a wonderful show.

[445] Like once you get to certain parts of the country, isn't interesting to find out what their favorite shows are?

[446] Yeah.

[447] Yeah.

[448] That's where all those NCIS shows, that's where they get all their millions of views.

[449] For sure.

[450] That's a wonderful show.

[451] Chris does a great job, and he just pairs well with LL Cool J. He's a little aggressive to me. I mean, it's all right.

[452] He's a good fella, I guess.

[453] But I really love Chris.

[454] I wish we'd get more work.

[455] We should bring them back to the movies.

[456] I think he'd be an excellent.

[457] Captain Kirk.

[458] He could be Captain Kirk.

[459] Also, I'll go to my aunt's house and that's just playing all the time.

[460] Like burn notice?

[461] I mean, that's not even on anymore, but like these USA shows.

[462] Yeah, JAG.

[463] Remember JAG?

[464] Oh my God, JAG.

[465] Yeah.

[466] Reruns of JAG.

[467] My brother.

[468] Oh, my show's on.

[469] Jag.

[470] Love it.

[471] And the thing is, like, we can laugh about these shows, but they're like 20 seasons.

[472] Jack was on for 20 seasons.

[473] Well, we were just going over Survivor the other day.

[474] Survivor was on when Fear Factor debuted.

[475] It was already on the air.

[476] And that Fear Factor came out in 2001 or two, somewhere around, right after September 11th.

[477] I remember that.

[478] Because I remember being asked questions.

[479] Like, was it appropriate to have a show about fear after September 11th?

[480] Oh, my God.

[481] Some guy asked me that.

[482] I literally wanted to climb through the phone and strangled him.

[483] I'm like, you fucking bitch.

[484] What was your answer, though?

[485] Was it?

[486] Like, that's nonsense.

[487] What if you walked back?

[488] It's a game show stupid.

[489] You're like, I'm sorry.

[490] I didn't know that fear plays at a factor for you.

[491] But so Survivor's been on What do we say it was?

[492] 28 ,000 seasons On the 39th, I believe 39th season It's still going?

[493] Yes You didn't even know I think the Amazing Race is still going too Did you remember that show?

[494] Yeah CBS is killing it Yes I won the award every year For the Emmy's like Best show Or Best Game Show Whatever reality I don't know what it is But yeah Wow Twelve times in a row or something Crazy Yeah Did you like Fear Factor more than Because I remember I loved news radio Like I was one of my favorite shows So did you enjoy that more Fear Factor?

[495] Are there different things?

[496] They're definitely different things I enjoyed the paycheck from Fear Factor Far more I liked work without actors But I loved news radio way more News Radio was just a far better show So it was a really good show Well they're different things They're very different animals It ruined me It would it's like going from the comedy store To Uncle Fuck Sticks Chuckle Hut And on a Monday night You know it's like Every other sitcom that I looked at, every other sitcom that I read for or that I got scripts for, rather, I was like, ooh, this is just not good stuff.

[497] Isn't it interesting when you get sides, like just sides, just like one scene or two scenes for a show?

[498] And you could tell it's good, just from that?

[499] Oh, yeah.

[500] That's so rare.

[501] It is rare.

[502] Yeah.

[503] When someone's a good writer, good sitcom writing is hard to do, man. That is a really hard gig.

[504] I mean, there's a, but then some people have bad sitcom writing, but they know how to make a bad successful sitcom.

[505] Like, there's bad, successful sitcom that lasts forever.

[506] They're just unoffensive enough to stay on the air and keep you watching with your mouth slack.

[507] Yeah, yeah.

[508] I mean, formulas exist for a reason.

[509] Those big bang kids, they're so clever what they're riding.

[510] That's what keeps me doing there.

[511] I'm waiting for the vocabulary.

[512] Does this guy ever shut off CBS?

[513] No. Just keep it on the whole time.

[514] I tried Fox, but they're too hostile.

[515] Did you know that your TV has other channels, sir?

[516] What?

[517] Yeah, there's other channels.

[518] those other programming you could watch.

[519] Well, when they took Bill O 'Reilly off the air, I said CBS is my channel.

[520] That's my channel now.

[521] Yeah.

[522] You've ever been in the, like, an audition, and it's terrible, but everyone goes through the motions where everyone's just, like, cracking up.

[523] Like, it's the greatest show on earth.

[524] Like, it's Def Jam, because the writers and the directors are in the room, and it's like...

[525] They're fake laugh to get everybody excited.

[526] Yeah, they have to, because I think they need this rocket fuel to get this project off the ground.

[527] Yes.

[528] And they need to give the writer confidence.

[529] They have to give the director confidence.

[530] They have to give the studio people confidence that it's all.

[531] good.

[532] It's a fake moment.

[533] The fake laugh.

[534] It's gross.

[535] And the thing is, though, like, it's also not only is the gross stuff, but it's the 30th time.

[536] There's just, there's 30 people in the waiting room, and they're laughing like it's the first time.

[537] They're faking it left and right, up and down.

[538] And we know fake laughs.

[539] Oh, we do.

[540] Come on.

[541] It's offensive.

[542] Someone's fake laughing at you.

[543] It's almost worse than not laughing.

[544] It is worse than not laugh at all.

[545] If you say a joke and they're like, ha ha ha, ha.

[546] Oh, you're like, get them out of here.

[547] You get out of here.

[548] Bad person.

[549] You, you, you, you.

[550] It's the quickest way to heckle, though, right?

[551] Just like, ah.

[552] Like, no one can say anything.

[553] Well, I'm laughing.

[554] Yeah.

[555] It's like the Fredo thing.

[556] No, I thought your name was Fredo.

[557] That Frito thing...

[558] Dude, I was talking about it.

[559] I thought that you were Freedo.

[560] Did you see that?

[561] Yeah, of course.

[562] Did you see it, Jane?

[563] That Chris Cuomo guy...

[564] Donald Trump had the best line today.

[565] Donald Trump won the Internet today with this.

[566] He said, should we red flag Chris Cuomo?

[567] Because he seemed unhinged.

[568] He was using terrible language Should not have a gun He basically exposed Those red flag laws He was like you see a guy like that He's irrational That guy's irrational He goes I'll wreck your shit I'll throw you down a flight I like the stairs I like the stairs comment That was I enjoyed that Like what is he talking about Because a guy called you Fredo And he was saying Frato is the same thing as the N word I didn't know Frato or maybe I'm new to it I just Not that I would ever try to call someone Frato Sometimes It's not It's a fucking character in a movie It's like Aladdin Is it like, there's no, like, I don't know.

[569] Cultural context?

[570] I'm Italian.

[571] There's no cultural context for Fredo where people like, what the fuck did you say?

[572] It doesn't exist.

[573] It does not exist.

[574] Well, you could say it for someone who's a traitor, but that doesn't even make sense with Chris Momol.

[575] It's just a loser in a movie.

[576] Well, I guess you know what he's trying to do.

[577] I mean, obviously he's trying to insult him.

[578] Yes.

[579] Even if there is no history of this word existing for, you know, I'm ignorant.

[580] And I don't know if it does exist or not.

[581] But, like, you know this guy's trying to take shots.

[582] It's certainly not a compliment.

[583] Sure.

[584] Yeah.

[585] I mean, it's a loser in a movie.

[586] It's a brother that always fell short.

[587] And he turned on his own brother, who was the godfather.

[588] What if he wanted to be the godfather?

[589] What if he explained this insult to Chris Cuomo?

[590] That would be great.

[591] He goes, Frato was a weak Italian in the movie.

[592] And I'm referencing your character.

[593] Yes.

[594] You are the son of a great man because, you know, he's Mario Cuomo's son.

[595] And you probably, you know, let's be honest about, while you're here.

[596] You know, the name is familiar and, you know, it helps.

[597] But it's, it's that Italian energy that, like, and again, this is my people.

[598] Is it my people?

[599] No. Three quarters, though.

[600] But these people that, that react that way are common.

[601] It's like, what?

[602] What the fuck did you say to me?

[603] I'll fucking wreck your shit.

[604] Yeah.

[605] But you're not supposed to be a respected political pundit in behavior.

[606] like that that is nonsense yeah that's nonsense it's nonsense it's a silly way to behave it's silly that guy needs to work out he got to be extra it's tough it's tough it's tough when uh might be on too much testosterone so we need to take them to tell your doctor just pare you down a little bit take whatever you at just drop it by half settle down bro or just work out really hard before you go outside uh -huh do some yoga meditate i like when those uh because ellie's pretty passive town for the most part you'll get some of those you'll get like an east coast guy you're like oh shit who's this guy you know what i mean long island yeah yeah like visiting from out of town like whoa no one hey fredo yeah yeah we don't actually fight here we just go get my shine box yeah it's um it was a very embarrassing moment but i think it's a very important moment look at him first of all he is fredo for life now i hope he understands that he's fredo for life unless you want to get tossed down a flight of stairs he ain't tossing anybody down the flight of stairs that's nonsense he doesn't want to get sued he's not going to do that he's not going to touch somebody he'll hire someone he's not going to do that he's not doing shit not doing a goddamn thing that's one of the reasons why it's so funny he's not doing nothing this that is fredo you'll never get away from that now better embrace that shit better start selling fredo t -shirts with your face merch listen tn's probably going to fire him i would imagine no i think they're standing behind him get the fuck out of yeah are they really for now i think they felt like he was attacked or unprovoked By someone calling him Fredo?

[607] Yeah, man, those are fighting wars, dude.

[608] Someone called me Fredo.

[609] I'm not even Italian, I'd snap.

[610] I go, how dare you?

[611] He's a silly man. That's what exposes him is that he's a silly man. It wasn't like someone was being equally aggressive to him, and he was defending himself.

[612] Sometimes, like, if you're in a situation where someone's very aggressive to you, you almost have to be aggressive back just to let them know, hey, I'll go there with you.

[613] We could go to a dark place right now, and, you know, I'm not going to let you hit me. I'm not going to let you do something to me. If you think that I'm a pushover, you know, I'm here to defend myself.

[614] But that wasn't that way.

[615] Like, someone was mocking him, and he turned violent.

[616] I think it was a little bit of a honey -upon situation where he just wanted to get a rise and he was recording from down low.

[617] They wanted him to do something.

[618] They really...

[619] Chris Cuomo, this is CNN.

[620] CNN's lost their fucking mind.

[621] Chris Cuomo defended himself when he was verbally attacked with the use of an ethnic slur in an orchestrated setup, the spokesperson said.

[622] We completely support him for now.

[623] Listen to me. This is not done This is not done This is just beginning To take on a form Of its own You can't You can't say that's an ethnic slur That is a fucking character In a movie Yeah there's news to me I was like It's not an ethics snar And him saying that that's like Calling it the N word That is so preposterous That is so offensively stupid Do you ever get that Like people trying to take shots Or get you to slip or something Most people are nice Yeah for the most part I've had guys say goofy shit to me And I try to say goofy shit back to them Like at shows or just on the street or what?

[624] It's just in both things, but I'm not in a, I'm not a hostile person.

[625] Yeah.

[626] I look hostile, but I'm not hostile.

[627] Like, I'm nice for the most.

[628] I've had people get dicky with me. And then what do you do?

[629] How do you handle it?

[630] Get dicky back.

[631] Just like, you see it on a flight stairs.

[632] I don't say that.

[633] It's just, it's not, it never escalates to that.

[634] It's like some people get weird.

[635] You know it gets weird.

[636] The fucking autograph people at the airport.

[637] How do they know, man?

[638] How do they, like, would you be surprised sometimes?

[639] Somebody tell somebody off.

[640] Somebody pay somebody off.

[641] What do you do?

[642] Do you sign or do you just keep walking on?

[643] I'll sign one.

[644] I'll sign one.

[645] They get mad at me. I go to stock in these.

[646] I go, no, no, I'm not working for you.

[647] Not working for you.

[648] Like, there's people that charge people.

[649] They'll go to those conventions and they'll sit at a booth and they'll charge someone X amount of dollars.

[650] It's like, it's like 20 bucks or more for an autograph photo.

[651] I don't do that.

[652] I'm not going to do that ever.

[653] So I'm not, I don't even want you selling my picture.

[654] I don't want it to be sold.

[655] Yeah.

[656] I don't want my autograph to be valuable.

[657] But if I thought someone was really a fan and they wanted me to sign something.

[658] That's different.

[659] Yeah, I would sign something for him.

[660] I'd be happy to.

[661] Instead of like a four -year -old guy with a ponytail.

[662] If you had a stack of fucking photos of me in various...

[663] You're selling those.

[664] I know you're selling those.

[665] So one guy got mad at me and he was like, following me around LAX.

[666] I was like, dude, I'm not signing anymore.

[667] It's like, next time I see you, okay?

[668] I'm like, I'm not signing.

[669] But you know, by signing one of them, you're making it very valuable.

[670] If you sign the whole stack, you're cheap.

[671] I'm not going to be rude.

[672] I'm not going to be rude.

[673] So I'm just trying to, like, look, I'll sign one.

[674] And I tell them that.

[675] Like, I got a bunch of them in Portland this weekend.

[676] And there was like 10 people met me at the airport.

[677] So I'll sign one.

[678] I think one is good.

[679] But I ran into a guy in Philadelphia that got mad.

[680] He tried to get me signed another one.

[681] I go, I'm not signing that.

[682] And he goes, he goes, you don't fuck.

[683] You fucking forget your fans.

[684] I go, you're not a fan.

[685] I go, you're selling these.

[686] He goes, what you think they're worth a lot?

[687] I go, why you hear that?

[688] This is like some weird metal gymnastics.

[689] Just the douche.

[690] They're like, the worth.

[691] You're fucking autographs worth about 6 .35.

[692] I go, and you're a mooch.

[693] I go, you over here trying to get me to work for you.

[694] I go, go get a job.

[695] And so we had this, like, weird conversation.

[696] saying they're not worth anything so I'm a loser but you're meeting me at the airport to try to get me to sell things you look at my flight it's so silly it's so silly but I just don't like the idea of it because primarily I don't like the idea that there's some weird loophole where someone can get you to work for them they're just showing up and you're sign these real quick and I'm gonna sell them because it's you're asking someone to work for you even if it only takes five minutes or they're taking something from you one guy had 30 pictures he had 30 I go how many you got there he goes 30 I go you out of your fucking mind how far money would be if you just like, how long is it going to take?

[697] If you sat at a Starbucks and you just did them all.

[698] You're like, hold on family.

[699] I'm just going to get through these.

[700] The UFC makes fighters do that.

[701] They sit down and they, but they give them out the fans and they do stuff with them.

[702] They're promotional material.

[703] It's not one guy.

[704] And everybody signs them.

[705] Like all the fighters in the card sign them and they're valuable to fans.

[706] As a fan, like I have a signed poster out there from Ephron Reyes that I purchased.

[707] And Ephraim Reyes is like the world's greatest pool player.

[708] I love pool.

[709] and he's this Filipino wizard.

[710] They call him the wizard.

[711] He's amazing pool player.

[712] So I bought it like it was signed by Ephraim Rayors.

[713] I got so excited.

[714] But I would never ask Ephraim to sign something and then sell it.

[715] You're not going to track him down to the airport?

[716] Yeah, someone at the promotion for the tournament, they probably got him to sign a bunch of them.

[717] They sold them.

[718] And it probably helped offset the costs and things along those lines.

[719] But there's just the autograph collector is a different animal than the autograph seller.

[720] So if you're a person that is this like I love Fahim's comedy, he's really funny, I want to go to the comic store and see if I get them to sign something for me. That's a fan.

[721] For sure.

[722] But if you have 30 of them, you're going to go on eBay and you're going to try to make 50 bucks.

[723] That's what you're doing.

[724] Well, you're not going to make 50 bucks.

[725] I'm just going to tell you right now.

[726] They might.

[727] If they hold on to it.

[728] You're a funny guy.

[729] Well, that's nice.

[730] What have you seen?

[731] I'm always surprised because I came at the store.

[732] I always see you at the store.

[733] You know, and you're like, oh man, your videos are funny.

[734] And like, I don't know what you watch.

[735] You're just like on this other level.

[736] I don't think it even reaches you.

[737] No, that's nonsense.

[738] That other level thing is a complete total illusion.

[739] A little, yes and no. Because you are a rarity, I think, of the comedians at the store who have gotten to a certain point where you kind of have a relationship with everyone at the comedy store, from the door guy to the waitresses to, like, you know, stand -ups like me or like Santino or Ian, like, you know, you have a relationship with everyone.

[740] You come through, you spend time at the store.

[741] You're being pulled by a lot of things, like you'll see and family and all the stuff, the podcast, but you will hang at the store.

[742] Well, that's a community It's very important to me That that community means It means a lot It means a lot And I like I like supporting the up and coming people I think it's very important I think all the door people The guys worked a lot Those guys are all We're all gonna work together someday You know, it's very possible They'll be You know, I'll be at one theater They'll be at another theater You know I'll be at a club over here They'll be at a club over there We're all the same Yeah It's just an illusion It's just time And I think it comes from martial arts.

[743] Because in martial arts, everybody trains together.

[744] You know, I'm a black belt in jujitsu, but I'm as friendly to the white belts as I am to other black belts.

[745] We shake hands, we hug.

[746] If I roll, I'll roll with a guy who's new.

[747] Just start now.

[748] I'll give him tips.

[749] I'll help him out.

[750] You know, we're all in it together.

[751] And I feel like that's the approach that I take with comedy, the same approach.

[752] I don't believe in this elitist shit.

[753] I think it's stupid.

[754] I think it's bad for everybody.

[755] It's bad for the person who becomes elite.

[756] even more so than it's bad for the up -and -comers.

[757] Because the un -ercomers, if you dismiss up -and -comers and you treat them like shit, like you treat them like you're better than them, you're above them, you don't need to like talk to them, you don't make eye contact with them, you ignore them when they're trying to talk to.

[758] And I've seen that from comics.

[759] And I think it's bad for you.

[760] For them, it just makes them angry at you.

[761] They can't wait until, and I have been in that position before where someone's dismissed me and been shitty to me, and then I surpassed them fame -wise and then passed by.

[762] And then they become friendly and weird with you.

[763] And you never forget it.

[764] Yeah.

[765] It's very strange when you see the 180.

[766] And you'll be in comedy long enough to see plenty of 180s.

[767] And it's not, I mean, you'll...

[768] I'll give you some names after the show.

[769] Oh, really?

[770] Oh, I would love that.

[771] Yeah, yeah.

[772] Some good names.

[773] Some juicyness.

[774] And then you act however the relationship is now at this point in time.

[775] Yeah.

[776] But that's always in the back of your mind.

[777] You're like, I remember when it was not this.

[778] But there's also, I want to give someone an opportunity for redemption.

[779] Like, I want to believe that they've changed.

[780] So it's hard I don't want to be that mean person It's like that fuck that guy for life For sure For sure But I do Like hopefully that they grow That maybe they've grown as a person Yeah Maybe been humbled Because the career kind of like skid And it came through an abrupt halt And they're trying to rebuild Yeah They used to be someone That thought that they could There was a time Mostly pre -internet Where comics looked forward To doing a couple things One thing they looked forward to Was bumping people and doing a lot of time But the bumping people was the big part It wasn't just doing time So they're doing the time thing If you like Dave Chappelle calls up And says I want to do a half an hour Nobody cares He's really good about it too He'll wait till everyone's gone up And then he'll go out at the end of the night He's a beautiful person I love that guy to death He's the exception to the superstar rule Because he's a sweetheart of a guy But there are some that wanted That spot of the bumper Where they could just show up Oh my God Mike's here Mike's here for him I'm sorry, Mike's going up.

[781] Mike has to go up.

[782] And Mike looks at you like, I'm going up.

[783] You know, like, there's a few of those guys.

[784] Like, fed them.

[785] Yeah, feeds them.

[786] It feeds them to let them, let you know that you're not on their level.

[787] Yeah.

[788] I've heard of like that happens way less now.

[789] Oh, yeah.

[790] Yeah.

[791] Well, first of all, because people like us talk about it on podcasts.

[792] Uh -huh.

[793] Like, if there's one guy that was like a super dick to you and you like, let me tell you something, Joe.

[794] There's a fucking guy.

[795] You know, it's, we're all comics.

[796] man just like when you go to a jujitsu school you take a class or two classes you're a fucking martial artist you know you might suck yeah but you're a martial artist if you're you're up on that goddamn stage you're a comic in my eyes you're just like me I'm just I've been doing it for 30 years and you've been doing it for less yeah yeah that's what it is that's the only difference it's just a time in and if you get 30 years down and what you get out of those 30 years is that you're better than everybody and that you can act like you're better than everybody and you're aloof and you're aloof and you're you're dismissive.

[797] You've missed everything.

[798] The beautiful, like when I come to the store, I like that I get hugs.

[799] Yeah, yeah.

[800] I was surprised because when you first started coming back, I would just think I'd be on the wall or whatever, but you're like, yo, what's up?

[801] What's up for him?

[802] And give me a hug, you know?

[803] And like, we hadn't really, like, talked a ton, but that something as little as that goes so far.

[804] Well, that's nice.

[805] Yeah, I hope it does go far.

[806] I want comics to feel good about the community that we have.

[807] Yeah.

[808] And I remember, because when I got past at the store, it was the dark ages.

[809] Like, I know the stores had various dark ages.

[810] Bobby talks about, the 90s and stuff.

[811] But you were at the ice house.

[812] So, like, you weren't even really part of the story.

[813] You were still just, like, going there a lot.

[814] Yeah.

[815] Yeah.

[816] So it was very cool for you to come back and then Adam take over and then it just kind of evolve into what it is now.

[817] It's crazy.

[818] Because I remember when it was not that.

[819] And there was kind of a beauty in it, though.

[820] I'm like pretty fortunate in hindsight that I got past then.

[821] What year was this?

[822] I think I got passed in like 2010.

[823] Yeah, that was three years into the dark ages.

[824] The dark ages started at 2007.

[825] Yeah, it's also crazy to like know that, you know, in the history and see the video and then, oh, I exist on this timeline now.

[826] Yeah.

[827] The store was just, you know, when I'm living in Seattle, it's this faraway place.

[828] Even Hollywood and entertainment and all that, it's just this place it exists on a box.

[829] It's not real.

[830] It isn't.

[831] It isn't.

[832] Right.

[833] This isn't a real thing.

[834] And then you move to L .A. And I'm hanging at the improv.

[835] I'm a ghost.

[836] You know, people are walking.

[837] through me. You know when you first come to town?

[838] Yeah, man. I swear to God.

[839] I'm literally, I'm like, guys, I do comedy.

[840] And they're walking through me and I'm just like my hands aren't.

[841] And I would just hang out and that's part of the deal.

[842] You just have, you realize leaving your apartment is a win in itself.

[843] Like, you may not be getting up as much as you want to, but even just like being out, it's a win.

[844] Yes.

[845] Because someone will be like, oh, you should do my, you know, because out of sight, out of mind.

[846] So I would just loiter at the improv.

[847] I was nobody.

[848] And then I would, like, it was like Sandler and someone and like, maybe Kevin James.

[849] I said, I was out of mind.

[850] I I think Sandler, Kevin James, they want.

[851] And that was like, I'm sure that's very standard.

[852] I mean, I've been here so long.

[853] It's very standard now.

[854] You see a million people.

[855] Like, I don't get start -struck at all.

[856] But it's just kind of like, oh, fuck.

[857] Those are people in a box.

[858] Those are people in the box that I watch.

[859] And they just walked in.

[860] Yeah.

[861] So that was kind of like a little mind -fucking adjustment, you know?

[862] Well, when I was in Boston in 1988 when I started, Mecca was the store.

[863] Mecca was where prior performed.

[864] And Sam Kinnison and Hicks started out.

[865] out there and Hicks used to do stats he was a doorman there and you know letterman was there and Robin Williams was there it was just it was mecca and I thought when I first started doing comedy when I first when I realized like okay this is what I want to do like after the first set I ever did I was like okay this is what I'm doing I'm doing this now I'm all in you know took me a while to get funny but I mean I had it in my head that I was going to get to the comedy store oh yeah and then when I finally got there I remember thinking how surreal it was I was like I guess I was 26 25 no 25 or 26 I think the first time I stepped foot in the store and I were sitting in the back of the room going holy shit I can't fucking believe I'm here isn't it odd it's just a place yeah but it isn't it's not it's not just a place I know I know but like when you I guess the manifestation of the place like okay it's a stage there's chairs there's a table you ever see it in the daytime you're like all right this is it's just a space it's odd it feels like it's waiting yeah Like it's waiting.

[866] But it doesn't come alive until nighttime.

[867] Yeah, it's like a bedded animal, like a hibernating bear.

[868] Yeah.

[869] And at nighttime, man, the drink start clinking and, you know, the comedy starts flowing and Jeff starts playing the piano.

[870] It's an interesting room, too.

[871] When you first started doing it, was it difficult?

[872] Because it's not an easy room.

[873] The OR is not an easy room.

[874] Yeah, the OR.

[875] I consider the OR the comedy store.

[876] Yes.

[877] People will come through and be like, oh, yeah, I've been to the store.

[878] I go, what room?

[879] They're like, where's go to the main room?

[880] Okay, cool.

[881] I mean, it was cool, but it's not the heart and soul of the comedy store.

[882] The O -R is intimate.

[883] Nothing gets lost.

[884] The main room, you kind of have to be, it's so big, and there's that second tier.

[885] You know how the step goes up to, like, be able to have that laugh wave hit that back row.

[886] Yeah.

[887] You're really working.

[888] You're performing.

[889] And the stage is so big, you have to be more theatrical to kind of do a serviceable job in that room.

[890] But in the O -R, it's like literally, you're just watching a man gatherer or not a, woman you know just like you can be real you can be you don't have to be like right you don't have to project as much yeah yeah well there's different kinds of comedy right what's the largest crowd you've ever done i've been watching your stories and stuff and that's fucking insane like even when you're in the green room and you just hear these murmurs it sounds like you know like angry mom is going to kill you or something you're all just like filtering into this giant theater maybe 3 ,000 or 4 000 and that was that was a trip for that's big but you notice when you do 3 ,000 or 4 ,000 that there's like you have to give them more pause oh yeah more time for the set the the the joke the punchline to settle the last to settle before you move on to another but what's great about doing it so long is stand -up is this conversation with the audience so you know to wait yeah like you have inherent timing yeah another comic would just kind of know the timing of the club and it's like plow into the next joke while they're still getting laughs from a theater yeah you can't I can't do that.

[891] But I took, I was talking about this yesterday with Tom Papa, that one of the reasons, one of the best lessons that I ever had was actually sitting in the audience at one of Richard, not Richard, Lewis Blacks, not Richard Lewis.

[892] I don't know why I confuse it.

[893] I mean, I would confuse it, yeah.

[894] Sure.

[895] The word Lewis.

[896] A Lewis Black show in New Jersey.

[897] He was there the night before me and Joey Diaz and I sat in the audience.

[898] And he would hit a punchline and people would laugh and then he would hit the tag and I couldn't hear the tag because all the other people were laughing around us.

[899] And I was like, oh, like, you've got to be like a little more selective.

[900] You can't just hammer them.

[901] Like in the store, at the OR, you can hammer them.

[902] Punchline, punchline, punchline, punchline, punchline.

[903] And you could beat the fucking shit out of them that way.

[904] And it's a different kind of comedy.

[905] If you have that style of comedy, you might struggle a little bit with a theater and you'll definitely struggle in an arena.

[906] Arenas and amphitheaters are another animal.

[907] I feel like just having no ceiling?

[908] How does that work?

[909] Is that good?

[910] I did Saturday night.

[911] It's more for music, huh?

[912] I had a great time.

[913] We had a great time.

[914] Alan Mikovsky killed.

[915] She had a great time.

[916] Ian killed.

[917] It was fun.

[918] It was fun, but it's definitely different.

[919] I think it's different because I think they're such fans.

[920] And obviously, like, they're going to be tuned in.

[921] Yeah, that helps.

[922] It's different when you're, like, I'll do some festivals sometimes.

[923] Or, I mean, back in the day, you would do a college or something.

[924] And it's just outside.

[925] And if they don't know who the fuck you are and it's daytime and it's outside, you flew to pick up a check.

[926] All you got to do is not lose your mind on.

[927] stage and you can collect your check if you're like shut the fuck out then you're not getting your money well it's a matter of whether or not you're having fun if you're having fun and you enjoy performing and you your material is good so you know it's good you can have fun sure and whoever's tuning in can have a good time and the absurdity of the situation is funny but obviously it's not going to be like a regular club set or something yeah dude I'll take you if you want to come I'll take you I'll take you one of the crazy I don't I mean that just seems like such a mind trip that would be like a stand -up float tank well Allie, you know, Allie's only 22.

[928] Yeah, she's so young.

[929] Yeah, she's great.

[930] And I've been taking her with me. Her and Ian came this weekend.

[931] And the first arena she ever did.

[932] Well, here's Allie, right?

[933] She's done clubs with me. She does improv with me all the time.

[934] She does the improv with me all the time.

[935] And she works at the store.

[936] That's the beauty of the system of the store.

[937] It's like one of the last places like that where there's a system in place.

[938] And yeah.

[939] She works the door at the store and she performed in front of 10 ,000 people on Friday.

[940] And then went back to checking IDs?

[941] Yes.

[942] That's the mind fuck of being a young comic You'll do these crazy things And then you're back at your job But she's wild and hungry And she's so...

[943] I don't worry about Allie, she's fine She's great She's really talented too But, you know So the first big show she had done before that Was the Mirage in Vegas I love that club I love that club I love that club I started doing that club And then I went to bigger arenas And I came back to that club Because it was so much fun Because most of time when I do Vegas I do it the night before a UFC Like on Friday night And, uh, I was doing these big giant places, like the Ka Theater, which is like a hundred foot tall seat, more than a hundred feet tall ceiling.

[944] It's Cirque de Soleil place.

[945] Wow.

[946] But it was too weird.

[947] It wasn't, it wasn't the right setup for comedy.

[948] And the mirage is so perfect.

[949] Is that the Terry Fedor's theater?

[950] Yes, yes, yes.

[951] So I went back to the, so that was the first time she'd ever done anything big.

[952] And she walked out there, like, she fucking owned the place.

[953] She's like, she owned it.

[954] Yeah.

[955] She's like, she had the best set I ever saw her have there.

[956] And then I said, okay.

[957] You want to do arenas?

[958] She's like, Ah!

[959] So.

[960] So we did this crazy place in Portland.

[961] Portland was insane, man. God damn, it was off the charts.

[962] Almost too big.

[963] Almost too powerful.

[964] Not too big, but almost too powerful.

[965] Did they do concerts in there normally?

[966] Yeah.

[967] Basketball.

[968] Oh shit, that's what the Blazers play?

[969] Yeah.

[970] For real?

[971] Yeah.

[972] You don't be great if like you just have a t -shirt cannon before you're set?

[973] You're like, a tonk.

[974] Yeah, I had a, my buddy Cam Haynes.

[975] who lives in Eugene, which is real close to there, was in that same place a couple weeks before that for a game.

[976] And he's like, dude, I can't fucking believe you're coming here to do comedy.

[977] Like, what is this?

[978] Yeah.

[979] It was nuts.

[980] You would almost think as, like, a consumer of comedy.

[981] What is that experience like?

[982] And is it still, like, the beats have got to be so different than like a club, like the O .R. It was fun, man. I was watching Ian on stage, and he was murdering.

[983] And I was laughing my ass off.

[984] It was great.

[985] It's all in the acoustics of the building.

[986] And the motor center in Portland is a really new theater or a new arena.

[987] It's really well made.

[988] So the acoustics are excellent.

[989] So nothing is lost because that's my worry, like in a space that big that no one can hear what you're saying and it's muddled.

[990] I've done some big places where it's not the best.

[991] I've done some big places where you hear a little echo.

[992] You're like, ooh, this could be a problem.

[993] So you have to be a little clearer with what you say.

[994] Like you almost got to take some of the spice out of your joke, you know, a spice out of your delivery because it's a little echoey.

[995] The best, though, the best is the ice house or the store.

[996] or the improv, like 200 people, 300 people, bam, bam, bam.

[997] Well, that's why comedy clubs are a certain size.

[998] If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

[999] It's also because that's all they could see.

[1000] I mean, it's hard to sell.

[1001] You should have like, like, like Joe Rogan comedy clubs and they're all like 20 ,000 seats.

[1002] They're like, yeah, I mean, it's also not when Joe comes around, but we're having a tough time getting people to come out.

[1003] I mean, how many, there's not that many people that are doing those places.

[1004] Like Kevin Hart, Dave.

[1005] Oh, that's so crazy.

[1006] too like you guys teaming up to do a tour oh if you're a comedy fan how great is that dude we did we did 25 ,000 people in Tacoma we broke the all you got my brother in i think he hit up Ian and i was like because i think i was in l l london so i was sleeping like the time was off so then he just dm'd Ian and he was like hey i'm his brother can i come to the show the day things are crazy though because he brings a DJ and donnell rawlins gets out there and gets everybody hyped up and it's the fucking DJs in between this says It's like he's getting That's next level, yeah Oh, it's so next level That's like a concert Yeah Plus it's just you feel crazy Like is this really happy Like even Dave He was like this is fucking crazy Man Like we were all like To get him to say this is crazy Yeah We were all like this was crazy We all realized This is something Because people were so pumped That we're doing it together Yeah It was mad It's like Like the watch the throne tour Kanye and Jay Z Yeah Yeah we're gonna do more We're trying to figure out Where and how But we had a great fucking time Yeah, why not?

[1007] It's just a rock star shit.

[1008] They show up at places and have IVs ready.

[1009] They do intravenous vitamin infusions with glutathione and get B12 shots.

[1010] How did you feel after it?

[1011] Like I could run through a fucking wall.

[1012] So how did you feel before?

[1013] How did you feel before and then after?

[1014] Were you just like out of it?

[1015] I was a little tired.

[1016] You know, we're traveling and we're up late the night before.

[1017] And then you get juiced up with vitamins and you just...

[1018] You're like, where's that tree?

[1019] Yeah, you feel fucking excellent.

[1020] This, I guess You know, they don't Rock stars know what they're doing Yeah And I'm sure you're only doing a fraction Of what they do They're going to Coke Yeah, we're not doing Coke And they have something different than Ivy They probably have some other bag We don't even know about Probably, yeah It's probably some illegal shit Yeah, like they're probably doing NAD They're probably doing a lot of different things Yeah Yeah, but It looks insane At the end of the day though Back to the grind Like tonight I'm doing the belly room You know That's so funny You're just back in the belly Yeah, back in the belly room, too, in the belly room.

[1021] And I'm doing the improv.

[1022] I've got a 1030 at the improv.

[1023] Oh, dang, double dip?

[1024] Yes, always.

[1025] You ever do, you don't do factory really, huh?

[1026] I don't do the factory.

[1027] You don't do the factory.

[1028] Is that because they tape?

[1029] Yes.

[1030] Okay.

[1031] Yeah, they taped me. They tape everybody.

[1032] They put your shit online.

[1033] But, like, uh...

[1034] They say, we're not going to do it anymore, but they still have the camera up.

[1035] Hmm.

[1036] Do you just not trust them?

[1037] Because, like, they'll send it to me with the clips, and I'll be like, I don't, it's not ready or I don't want to put it out there.

[1038] And then they respect it.

[1039] That's what Bill Burr said Yeah, and then I found this shit online I'm like, yeah, look at that He's like, what the fuck?

[1040] I was like, yeah, man There's somebody working there That's not listening to this You know, and maybe they don't do that anymore And I hope they don't, but But why chance it?

[1041] It just doesn't feel good It's just that Yeah, especially a bit in progress It was very poor The way it was handled Was like you should be happy That we're putting it online It was not good I'll tell you all about later But it's just There's plenty of room At the improv and the store I don't need to go there I don't wish it I mean, I hope it does well It's a great club It's fun to work at Sure I know what you mean It's like I'm in Tarzana now And like someone will be like Hey do you want to do this show In Irvine And that's just like saying my show's on Mars Irvine at 8 o 'clock You might as well leave your house yesterday Yeah Like Burr can you chopper me to Yeah Have you been in a chopper with Burr No But when I was working at Boeing I had a co -worker who was learning Well he had his hours up and everything So he flew Choppers lunch break he's like do you want to go in the chopper jesus i was like sure so then he's like let's take the doors off what this guy's trying to kill you no but like it was fine it was crazy i figured when else i'm going to go in a chopper that's true so for my lunch break i went in a chopper with this guy i recorded it wow and then my mom saw it and she just like flipped out she's like what are you doing for him i love you don't die it was fun yeah if i had a son and i was a woman and my little boy was in a plane flying around the doors off the doors off yeah Yeah, maybe you shouldn't have told her like that it was my co -worker.

[1042] Yeah, yeah, you should have said it was like a super experience, fighter pilot.

[1043] He's a military guy, he's had 20 years experience.

[1044] Yeah, yeah.

[1045] It's weird when you go up in a bird with like someone you know, though, so well.

[1046] I did it first in high school.

[1047] When I was in high school, my friend Mike, Mike Warbell, he was taking small plane lessons.

[1048] And we flew around this little small plane.

[1049] He was like fucking, he was my age.

[1050] Maybe he was older than me. Yeah, it's weird.

[1051] I think I was 16, he was 17, maybe, maybe, but no more than that.

[1052] And he's got to trust him.

[1053] And he was flying in a fucking plane.

[1054] He had a co -pilot who was like an instructor.

[1055] Oh, that's better then.

[1056] Yeah, he was taking lessons.

[1057] But that was the first time I was ever in a little tiny -ass plane.

[1058] I was in high school.

[1059] You ever want to do that?

[1060] I have no desire to do that.

[1061] It seems like a rough way to die.

[1062] I just don't, like, even with all the training and all that, just like, I'll leave it to the pros.

[1063] Like if JFK couldn't do it.

[1064] Well, I think the JFK story was more.

[1065] more complicated.

[1066] I think he was involved with, I think that flight was like no visibility.

[1067] I think you ran into fog.

[1068] And like a more experienced pilot would have known the weather conditions aren't the best to be going up.

[1069] Yes.

[1070] And also, you have to understand how to read the gauges because you got to know what altitude you're at and the gauges have to be 100 % functional.

[1071] I don't know what the whole story was with his death, but I believe Google whether or not JFK's body had cocaine in it.

[1072] Google that.

[1073] No, RFK.

[1074] What's his name?

[1075] J .F .K. J. F .K. Jr., not RFK.

[1076] JFK Jr.'s body had cocaine in it.

[1077] Because I think there was some cocaine involved.

[1078] If I'm not mistaken.

[1079] It's like, fuck, I can fly in the clouds.

[1080] I'm in the clouds, bitch.

[1081] Doesn't even have any, like, lessons.

[1082] He's just like, it's getting a plane.

[1083] I think he knew how to fly.

[1084] And I think he was, I think he was unprepared for no, it's, you know how it is.

[1085] He was off the cape, right?

[1086] It wasn't someone near Massachusetts.

[1087] That fucking, those clouds, get thick bro i mean you don't see jack shit so you're flying around in that like you imagine just fly right you on 500 miles an hour and right in front of you is white that's all you see 500 miles down through the white and just knowing kind of just knowing this isn't a good situation yeah you're fucked and you kind of know yeah yeah well when i lived in colorado i remember there was a time that i was driving up this hill we were pretty high up we were about 8000 feet above sea levels 3 ,000 feet above boulder and as we're driving through the hills up to the house the fucking clouds were so thick you couldn't see five feet in front of the car so you're driving on a mountain road sometimes has no railings to the left or to the right and it's just death to the left and you're driving up this mountain road you can't see jack shit so you literally have to turn the fog lights on so the regular headlights are no good you got shut those off and you have to have fog lights on fog lights just kind of light the ground yeah you know that's why they exist yeah that like people People don't even think what fog light is Because most of the time you don't really have to deal with fog Fog light is a little light Down below So you can see a little bit Instead of blinding it just with the light Yeah, otherwise you just see bright white Did he?

[1088] I don't see anything about that But they were You gotta check infowars .com Yeah, you go to the wrong source dude Did you use Google?

[1089] Bing it!

[1090] Bing it, Jamie 839 at night And they were flying over water That had no features So they were over water It was dark and foggy So it was basically pitch black And he didn't have a flight plan either And he told an instructor that offered to go with him you wanted to do it alone.

[1091] Oh, but you didn't find anything about cocaine?

[1092] I googled that and nothing popped up.

[1093] They did, some popped up that they might have had a past of that, but nothing said it like a drug test and autopsy, nothing said that.

[1094] Okay.

[1095] Maybe I made it up.

[1096] It's possible.

[1097] Let's put it in the Wikipedia page.

[1098] Just, just thinking.

[1099] My memory varies so wildly.

[1100] It's confusing.

[1101] And I'm wondering if it's old age or if it's just an overwhelming amount of data in my brain and my hard drive is just completely run out of space.

[1102] Maybe there's some overlap, like a similar story.

[1103] For sure there is, because I'll have conversations with someone sometimes, and they'll ask me, we'll be talking about something.

[1104] I go, well, that's not exactly how it happened.

[1105] This is what happened because of this, because as they evolved, they develop the ability to do this and that.

[1106] And I'm like, I know this.

[1107] I'm like, why do I know this?

[1108] And someone goes, what are you a fucking biologist?

[1109] I'm like, no, I'm an idiot.

[1110] Yeah, you retain a lot.

[1111] Remember things.

[1112] I'm like that.

[1113] But I don't retain some things.

[1114] Sometimes I forget who I was talking to or who said what or where this idea came from.

[1115] It's weird.

[1116] It's not.

[1117] It's not selective.

[1118] Man, it's not that good.

[1119] It's like, but it helps when I'm taking neutropics, which I didn't today.

[1120] Today I didn't take any alpha brain.

[1121] Why don't we have any here?

[1122] How come we don't have any here?

[1123] Oh, give me that.

[1124] Thank you.

[1125] Oh, man. How does this work?

[1126] Well, your brain's going to grow.

[1127] I hope your head can.

[1128] Really?

[1129] It's flexible.

[1130] Just like the headphones.

[1131] You swell from the head a lot.

[1132] You used to use, you used to rather.

[1133] Should I throw this in here?

[1134] Yeah, yeah.

[1135] Used to work at Boeing.

[1136] Is this like an Elon Musk moment, guys?

[1137] No. Am I going to be a mural?

[1138] I know, right?

[1139] Isn't that crazy?

[1140] Crazy for me, too, man. I didn't even think twice about giving him weed.

[1141] Really?

[1142] You didn't think, like, oh, this will be a moment?

[1143] It was just...

[1144] No. I thought I was just hanging out.

[1145] Me and my buddy, Elon.

[1146] Yeah.

[1147] Smoking a little weed, like normal.

[1148] The stockholders are like, no!

[1149] You see the Ross Baines painting in the green room where in the cloud it says 6%.

[1150] Oh, no. Yeah, go look at the smoke cloud again.

[1151] Because he lost 6 % of the stock.

[1152] Jeez.

[1153] But he got it back.

[1154] It was up to 9%.

[1155] percent the next day went up three percent but his street cred went fucking through the roof dude I drove his car here that guy deserves everything he gets that car is a goddamn time machine I'm still a Mazda 3 2007 man myself ooh nice I'm a yeah I'm a purist sometimes I'll get a brochure in the mail like get the 2019 Mazda 3 like I'm gonna put a bull in my head if I get two Mazda three's in a row don't get a Mazda three but getting a Miata Miatta those are dope isn't that like a punch line I don't give a fuck who's making that joke They don't know what they're talking about All right, I'm gonna do it I'm gonna get a Miata Everyone's making fun of me No bullshit Rogan said Dude Miata is a fucking fantastic car I'm not bullshitting It has very low horsepower But it's super likely This will be my like defense When people make fun of me They have a lot of horsepower It's really lightweight It doesn't have a lot of horsepower It's very low I think it's less than 200 horsepower 181 Yeah It's but Miatas are amazing cars But as a comedian How many times do you hear Is it a punchline?

[1156] Those are hacks Sure Those comedians are hacks Isn't there funny There's certain words that are just like go to, like Chipotle's a great punchline word.

[1157] They still make them in a standard with a standard transmission.

[1158] I just want to say thank you, or you're welcome Mazda for.

[1159] It's a fucking great car, man. I'm not kidding.

[1160] They're really fun to drive.

[1161] They handle really well.

[1162] I like mine.

[1163] They're very tactile.

[1164] But a Mazda 3 is different than a Miata, right?

[1165] How much different is it?

[1166] I mean, probably pretty different.

[1167] What is that one that were right there, 2019 Mazda MX5?

[1168] MX5, Miata.

[1169] What about the RX8?

[1170] You see that red one?

[1171] that cool red color.

[1172] Yeah, but the one above that, please.

[1173] Look at that with the removable roof.

[1174] Ooh, that's like a targa.

[1175] Oh, I could be on the beach with that.

[1176] That is a dope car.

[1177] People are crazy.

[1178] They just want it, they want higher horsepower.

[1179] If that was instead of a Miata, if that was a Tesla, if Tesla made an electric Miata that goes zero to 60 in one second, get on it.

[1180] Everybody would want that car.

[1181] Yeah.

[1182] Dude, dude, it's a great car.

[1183] Yeah.

[1184] Drive one.

[1185] All right.

[1186] You know, I'm going to do that after this.

[1187] I'm going to test drive, a Mazza Miata.

[1188] Go to, and it's a car.

[1189] cheap.

[1190] How much is a Miata?

[1191] It's like 28 grand.

[1192] Dude.

[1193] Come on.

[1194] Come on.

[1195] That's it.

[1196] I'm not bullshining.

[1197] For 28 grand you get a great car.

[1198] I'm not kidding.

[1199] I would drive a fucking Miata.

[1200] I just would never think that you would have this much passion about the Mazza Miata and it's really refreshing.

[1201] I am an automobile enthusiast.

[1202] I love cars.

[1203] I saw the cars here.

[1204] I love engineering.

[1205] I'm a fan.

[1206] I know you.

[1207] Oh yeah?

[1208] But I love mechanical things.

[1209] I love how people design things.

[1210] And what they've done with the Miata is they've made a car.

[1211] that it always has a loyal fan base that continues to buy them because they don't break the bank.

[1212] It's not something that you pull up to the club and everybody thinks you're like some super baller, but it's a fun car to drive.

[1213] They're a really fun car to drive.

[1214] They're super lightweight.

[1215] They're very agile.

[1216] They handle great.

[1217] They still make them with a manual transmission.

[1218] Yeah, mindstick.

[1219] Yeah, they're fine, man. It's a fun car to drive.

[1220] Don't be hating on me honest.

[1221] All right.

[1222] How do you feel about Mousal 3?

[1223] I want the same love for the Moss of 3.

[1224] It's not that good.

[1225] God, motherfucker fuck.

[1226] It's kind of boring.

[1227] It's like you might as well get a Prius Yeah You're in the Prius category You know What's happened with Tesla That's interesting Because when you For a while You could be driving a Prius And no one knew If you were rich or poor It was the great equalizer Still to this day Larry David drives a fucking Prius Sure sure But Tesla came along And they're like Yo now you can stunt And save the earth Now people know you're rich And pious Before You didn't know If this guy's poor Or Decaprio Yeah but now it's like So all the poor guys Who want to go green Are kind of fucked But a Prius is different because it's a hybrid but that was the only option back in the day that was the only option Mercedes has an S class Mercedes top of the food chain Mercedes that's also a plug -in hybrid it's just a new one that they just released like Jeremy Clarkson was raving about it it's supposed to be this incredible car so Mercedes is actually making like plug -in hybrids for their top of the food chain vehicles that's pretty cool seems like that's new it is it is nude but it's also it's like a little bit of a step back because it has gasoline.

[1228] But the step up is going to be a car that charges and it charges in a normal amount of time, like an hour or two.

[1229] How long is your take?

[1230] Forever.

[1231] We have a supercharger here.

[1232] We have a supercharger installed here.

[1233] And it still takes, I don't know, probably five hours.

[1234] Five hours?

[1235] If it's dead, it'll probably take five hours, maybe six.

[1236] You know, but like if I come here and, like, full charge.

[1237] is what does it get 300 and fucking 90 miles or something like that somewhere around that range are you not really are you having to be a little better with your planning like all right I'm going anywhere with it I go to L .A. I go to the comedy store like I have like this weekend I'm in Anaheim for the UFC I'm not driving that fucking thought are you crazy I'm not getting stranded what happens to you get stranded are you like does anybody have a battery have electricity that can siphon anybody can sit here with me for eight hours Yeah, there's not a goddamn thing you can do.

[1238] You have to call a tow truck and they have to bring it to a charging station and then you have to sit there like an asshole.

[1239] Yeah, it's for six hours.

[1240] It's, uh, but the technology, if you get, you can't, look, obviously, I'm kidding, in some way because it's super simple.

[1241] It's got, you've seen one on the inside, right, the giant screen.

[1242] I've only seen from the outside because like, row, there's one right here.

[1243] Oh, cool.

[1244] Because the comedy store is turned into a Tesla dealership.

[1245] That's kind of how you know.

[1246] It's Cal and's got one.

[1247] Yeah, yeah, that's how you know the store is in a renaissance.

[1248] where it's like just so many Tesla's coming in and out of that place.

[1249] Not just Tesla.

[1250] It's like Russell Peters pulls up in a Ferrari and like a Bentley too.

[1251] He's got a Bentley.

[1252] A Ferrari.

[1253] No, a Lamborghini.

[1254] Lamborghini SUV.

[1255] Like now must be the most trying time to be a lot guy at the comedy store.

[1256] Just imagine the bullets.

[1257] They sweat.

[1258] Oh, God.

[1259] Having to move because that parking lot in the comedy store is like Tetris.

[1260] Yeah.

[1261] There's a finite amount of space and they've got to fit all the paid regular cars in there.

[1262] And the price tag on all these are insane.

[1263] The problem is they're letting these promoters park there.

[1264] Oh, aren't they being better about it, about saying, like, you can't park in a lot?

[1265] They should detonate their cars.

[1266] They should have, like, one of those.

[1267] Like, instead of a tow truck, it's just, like, a stick of dynamite?

[1268] Just a giant, like, Kevlar tarp that they throw over those cars and just detonate them.

[1269] Just during your set, you just hear, like, oh, just get out there.

[1270] Because there's so many people that park back there, like, you're not even a comic.

[1271] Like, what are you doing that here?

[1272] Not only that, though, like the back bar and then also the back patio area.

[1273] I get weird.

[1274] Because that's like our home.

[1275] That's kind of where we hang out before we have to go on stage.

[1276] And we want to see guys like you or Santino and just chop it up before we have to go on stage and then it's like, who's this?

[1277] And they talk to you and they interrupt conversations.

[1278] And not in a snooty way, but it is a bit of, it's like a dugout.

[1279] It's like a baseball dugout.

[1280] Adderall people go back.

[1281] Yeah.

[1282] They talk too much to you.

[1283] You don't need that in your life.

[1284] Right.

[1285] But they have more confidence than me back there.

[1286] I'm like, sure.

[1287] They have Adderall confidence.

[1288] I've never done Adderall.

[1289] Good for you.

[1290] Have you done it?

[1291] Isn't it big now?

[1292] Like every student has taken it?

[1293] A lot of people are taking it.

[1294] It's a big thing amongst journalists.

[1295] Why?

[1296] Because they get more work done.

[1297] Because you're on speed.

[1298] Like, there was a guy that I had in here that was a writing book on, he wrote that book on Hunterst Thompson.

[1299] What is that, uh, what is, what is his book?

[1300] Something, Gonzo, something.

[1301] Anyway, he was talking about how he needs it to write.

[1302] He can't write without it.

[1303] Is it just the deadlines and the workload is insane and that's a way to kind of cope with it?

[1304] you don't need it right can you move your fingers you move your fingers yes but there's a mental fatigue yes take a break go for a walk yeah that's the natural thing to do but some people want the quick fix well it's not necessarily quick fix it's like you can get a good timothy dene yeah isn't there like mental debt if you keep on taking it what's the name of this book what's the name of the book yeah mental debt yeah it's called you become a crackhead free kingdom yeah you become someone who is on stimulants all the time And I know several people that have an issue.

[1305] I know one guy is completely lost his fucking mind, thinks everybody's against him, thinks that everyone's done him wrong and he's just out there cracked out in the middle of nowhere on fucking Adderall every day and making YouTube videos.

[1306] And there's a lot of people like that, man. There's a lot of people like that.

[1307] It is a meth -like drug.

[1308] It's very, very, very, very similar to meth.

[1309] Yeah.

[1310] It's just a different release in terms of, like, how quickly your body processes it is.

[1311] It's crazy how widespread it is for something like that then.

[1312] It's fucking stimulants, man. It gets people.

[1313] People, if you can effectively do your job, but you don't commit any crimes, and they can sell you that stuff and make a profit, and then you actually are more profitable when you're on that stuff than not, then fucking have at it.

[1314] That's how people look at things.

[1315] And like, look, when I was, when pot was sort of legal, when it was medically legal, I had a bullshit prescription.

[1316] Your back hurt?

[1317] Oh, yeah, everything, bro.

[1318] What was your excuse?

[1319] I said, I don't remember.

[1320] I used a bunch of different ones.

[1321] Did you go to the hot doctor?

[1322] You know, like, you'd see you on Sunset Boulevard, it's like just like.

[1323] Persian chick was like, I would describe you.

[1324] No, I went to a black dude with dreadlocks.

[1325] He was awesome.

[1326] He, this is what he looked at me when I went in there.

[1327] I feel like that's the best weed doctor.

[1328] Is the black guy like, oh, this guy's good?

[1329] The best.

[1330] He had a, do you remember those vaporizers that are, they're a bag?

[1331] They're called a volcano.

[1332] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[1333] I remember when I stayed with Ari Shafir in New York and he, he had those.

[1334] And I had never seen that before.

[1335] Just seemed like such an odd contraption.

[1336] Some of the early podcasts, we vaporized with that bag, and they're the dumbest conversations because we had no idea what we're talking about.

[1337] would like correct myself halfway into a sentence because I forgot what I was saying and then I would forget what the original correction was and then I'm like what no that's not what I'm saying what am I saying I was so fucked up and it would take like an hour into the podcast before like the fog would settle so was that just the medical marijuana delivery system well no it's just a delivery system it's not met you can use it right now you don't have to I feel like do people use it that way yes oh really what's what's the I don't know upside of that no smoke you're not you're just getting mist.

[1338] You're basically getting the THC crystals.

[1339] It's turning into mist.

[1340] When you vaporize you're not getting the burnt plant material.

[1341] It's almost like coffee connoisseurs.

[1342] There's a million ways to get what you need.

[1343] Yeah, or wine dorks or cigar dorks.

[1344] It's like real similar.

[1345] But anyway, I walk into this guy's office and he's just the fucking coolest.

[1346] I wish I kept in touch with this dude.

[1347] It was somewhere in Hollywood.

[1348] I forget where it was but the dude looked to me, goes, you look sick!

[1349] You look sick!

[1350] sick he goes you need some medicine you need some medicine and he had this big smile on my face I said thank you sir I feel sick and I feel like I need some medicine he goes what are you here for brother and I said uh it helps you sleep he goes good enough for me and he runs he's right into prescription he gives me a prescription then he pulls out the biggest bag he had a custom vaporizer bag for the volcano and I'm telling you I'm not exaggerating it was four feet long she's his four feet long bag he puts it on this like if it pumps up like a kid's council house fills up with weed he does it there oh yeah we were blasted we got blasted at his place um at the doctor's office was connected to a grow -up right so we we smoke we smoke we vaporized right and then we go into the back where they're growing the wheat and we're barbecued right I'm barely in this dimension and I go in there and I see all these plants and I get a feeling from these things like they're alive like they're conscious it felt so weird to this day I miss that feeling I go up maybe what was that was I so high was hallucinating is it or is it possible that if you get really high on pot and then you go around the pot leaves you pick up their frequency and you understand that they're a living organism and that's one of the reasons why they make you feel so good when you get high like one of the reasons why you're interact you're interacting with whatever they are with the molecules the THC and the cannabinoids you're interacting with it and then when you go around the actual potted plants and they're all super healthy because they got this crazy hydroponic set up and they're all the right nutrients and these lush green plants and this perfect environment for growing because they're experts and I'm like these things are alive man these things like they know you're there they're like hi so it was a successful trip oh yeah man I was I took me hours before I knew what I was doing afterwards it's like hours later I just love how he took the onus of an excuse off of you oh yeah you look sick That's the moment I walked in.

[1351] You look sick.

[1352] You need some medicine.

[1353] And crazy dreadlocks and circular glasses.

[1354] He was amazing.

[1355] God, I wish I kept in touch with that guy.

[1356] He was a great doctor.

[1357] I've had a bunch of good weed doctors.

[1358] I had one of them, though.

[1359] I had to stop going.

[1360] He went crazy 9 -11 on me. What does that mean?

[1361] He was trying to tell me that the towers were brought down by Tesla technology.

[1362] And I was like, what?

[1363] He's like, concrete doesn't vaporize that way.

[1364] I was like, what do you mean?

[1365] vaporized.

[1366] I used to try to do a bit about how, you know, you hear about white privilege and everything.

[1367] I go, one of the things about white privilege, people don't really think about that much is you're allowed to have any conspiracy theory you want.

[1368] I can't be like, 9 -11 was an inside job.

[1369] People can't melt steel beams.

[1370] They're like, whatever, Ahmed, sure thing, Aladdin.

[1371] No, you don't understand.

[1372] Right.

[1373] Dead's different.

[1374] Yeah, if you looked at the pie chart of people that are really into conspiracies and, like, looked at race, white would be overwhelming.

[1375] What would it be?

[1376] Like, the pie chart of conspiracy theorists.

[1377] Yeah, I don't know.

[1378] Like three quarters of the pie chart, white people.

[1379] Yeah, it would sound absurd coming from me. Like, I don't believe that.

[1380] But imagine if I'm like, 9 -11 wasn't, you know, as a brown guy.

[1381] Like, they're like, sure thing.

[1382] You're not getting off that easy.

[1383] Yeah.

[1384] Inside job.

[1385] Yeah.

[1386] Yeah.

[1387] You worked for Boeing.

[1388] Is that what you did?

[1389] Yeah.

[1390] What did you do over there?

[1391] I was an aerospace engineer in Long Beach.

[1392] Were you involved at all in 9 -11?

[1393] Did you have anything to need us?

[1394] This is a hatchet job.

[1395] I'm out of here.

[1396] You can tell us.

[1397] You were lulling me into a false sense of security with like the comedy and the comedy store.

[1398] Anyways, you were involved with 9 -11, right?

[1399] Did you train those pilots?

[1400] You gave me, yeah.

[1401] What did you do?

[1402] What did you do at Boeing?

[1403] I did stress analysis for the floor being, it's very unglamorous.

[1404] It's kind of cool, though.

[1405] I guess so.

[1406] Means you're bona fide smart.

[1407] Yeah, I mean, I'm able to jump through hoops with a goal in mind.

[1408] Like, I have a high threshold for academic pain, so I took a lot of math.

[1409] I took a lot of, it wasn't that hard for me. It was like, I mean, it's difficult to get the degree, but, all right, they do these steps.

[1410] you get this number.

[1411] There's this formula.

[1412] You have the tools that show you how to do it.

[1413] Monkey see, monkey do.

[1414] Interesting way I describe it.

[1415] You have a high threshold for academic pain because it is like a little painful, right?

[1416] I think just, it seems so daunting to the average person and they just don't want to be bothered with that to even get over the hump of learning something like that.

[1417] They're just like, I could never.

[1418] That's for brain acts.

[1419] Right.

[1420] But the thing is, engineering was a means to an end for me to do stand -up comedy.

[1421] Like my parents were going to pay for my college, but only certain degrees.

[1422] So at first, because I knew I wanted to do stand -up when I was, like, 17.

[1423] Really?

[1424] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1425] What, how'd you know?

[1426] I think two things happened.

[1427] So I didn't grow up with stand -up.

[1428] I didn't really know it was a thing.

[1429] It wasn't on my radar.

[1430] I grew up with The Simpsons, S &L, and, like, Conan.

[1431] Late -night Conan.

[1432] Those were my jams.

[1433] I feel like that's my comedy DNA.

[1434] But then I was 17, like in my 17th birthday, we rented Delirious.

[1435] So we watched Delirious, Eddie Murphy's Delirious, you know?

[1436] It was like the greatest thing in the world.

[1437] and that just planted the seed of comedy.

[1438] So that coupled with my love for SNL.

[1439] And I'm like, how do I, like, I don't know if Google was around even.

[1440] Or maybe, I don't know.

[1441] I just researched how do people get on SNL.

[1442] Maybe Google was around.

[1443] So I saw they came from two camps.

[1444] They were either stand -ups or they came from improv.

[1445] So like Second City, UCB, groundlings, this was like the pedigree.

[1446] These are the schools they picked from.

[1447] And then I researched those schools.

[1448] They were in Chicago, L .A., New York.

[1449] You had to pay money to take these classes.

[1450] You may not pass.

[1451] You have to go back to 101 or whatever.

[1452] So it's like, it's like a school.

[1453] And stand -up is just you.

[1454] It's just you out there with a sword, you know?

[1455] So I like, I'm like, oh, I could do that.

[1456] And there's comedy clubs in Seattle.

[1457] I can count on me. Like, I don't have to rely on other people to like zip -zap -zoop with each other.

[1458] Improv is a great thing.

[1459] You know, I'm not like knocking or anything.

[1460] It's just, it's such a different.

[1461] You have to dedicate your life to like one or the other.

[1462] I think it's very hard to be great at both.

[1463] And there's not a lot of career pass for improv.

[1464] It's like you get to a certain spot, and that's it.

[1465] Like there's some people who are very, very talented in groundlings, in, like, UCB, and then how do they monetize that?

[1466] If they book a commercial, they're still beholden to a lot of other people.

[1467] They have to be the right guy or girl, the right look.

[1468] There are so many variables that are outside of your control as a talented improv performer.

[1469] But as a stand -up, you can do a weekend.

[1470] We can always make money once you get to a certain level.

[1471] Famous, like, in terms of going on the road as an improv guy.

[1472] I guess who's line is it anyway, guys do it?

[1473] Yeah, but you'll have to, maybe they'll start doing stand -up because they've built some, you'll see that, right?

[1474] They'll build some credibility, like a notoriety, and they come from the improv background, but if they want to start making some money on the road, they start doing stand -up.

[1475] But they're no better off than someone, like a 22 -year -old doing stand -up now, because you've got to put the hours in.

[1476] Just because you're good at this other thing, you still have to start over.

[1477] Right.

[1478] It's like the farm.

[1479] Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[1480] You can't, the beauty of stand -up is you can't skip steps.

[1481] It's so, when you see a comic on stage, it's like when you cut a tree open and you see all the rings.

[1482] You can just tell, oh, this guy's been doing it 20 years.

[1483] Yes.

[1484] You can't fake that.

[1485] Yeah.

[1486] So I chose to do stand -up because it was just me out there and I could rely on me and I could do it while I do engineering school.

[1487] So I chose engineering because I knew I wanted to do this stuff.

[1488] So I thought I needed a theater degree.

[1489] So I was like, can I do theater?

[1490] And my dad was like, no, you can't do theater.

[1491] And then I kept getting more and more water down.

[1492] I was like, can I do like directing?

[1493] I'm like, no, you can't do directing.

[1494] They told you what you can and can't do.

[1495] Yeah, yeah, and I love it.

[1496] In hindsight, I'm so grateful.

[1497] Why is that?

[1498] Dude, if I had a theater degree right now, I'd be fucked.

[1499] If anyone's watching and you have a theater degree where you're thinking about getting a theater degree, don't do it.

[1500] You don't need it.

[1501] You're not going to be Jude Law because you have a theater degree.

[1502] You could do it on the side.

[1503] Think of how many people have come to L .A. or New York.

[1504] It's a different thing, okay?

[1505] Like, if you're at Juilliard and you're this instrument or whatever, and it's like a top, top, top.

[1506] theater school and it's a feeder to like that world okay or if you're the son of like a huge actor or daughter sure but if you're like in i don't know ohio and you're going to theater school you're just lighting your parents money on fire that's all you're doing they're letting you like going in a 20 year old jungle gym for four years what the thing is like you see sometimes like an actor like or rather like an athlete or someone will be an actor in a movie and they'll doing a fucking amazing job.

[1507] Here's an example.

[1508] Here's an example.

[1509] The color of purple.

[1510] The highest paid actor is The Rock.

[1511] What theater school, Dwayne the Rock Johnson, go to?

[1512] The Theater of Hard Knocks.

[1513] Thank you.

[1514] So you might as well do wrestling as opposed to...

[1515] So it doesn't...

[1516] Theater degree does not equal acting job.

[1517] Right, but that's a different kind of acting than say like Jake Lillenhall or...

[1518] Sure.

[1519] You know what I mean?

[1520] Yeah.

[1521] Do you think you're learning that or not?

[1522] Here's the other thing, too, that I always thought was so interesting.

[1523] Because I did acting class for, like, two months when I was here in L .A., you know, just to try it out and stuff.

[1524] It wasn't for me. And what's funny is, like, they'll be teaching these techniques and, like, Meisner and tapping in, blah, blah, blah.

[1525] And then at the end of the class, they'll be like, all, does anybody have any sides?

[1526] They want, any auditions they want to go over?

[1527] And it's all just CSI interrogation jobs.

[1528] Like, I don't know the guy.

[1529] So you're, like, you're teaching Shakespeare in class.

[1530] And anything anyone's ever going out for is like, I used to come around here, like, two times a week.

[1531] Like, how is, I am big pentameter helping you with, that's, that's what you're, right.

[1532] And you're chomping at the bit to get this.

[1533] Law and Order, S .E .D. Delivery guy, number two.

[1534] Why are you learning Meisner?

[1535] Right.

[1536] And I know there are no bit parts, only bid actors and all that.

[1537] Was it true?

[1538] No, that's what actor, that's what, that's what acting teachers will love to tell you when you complain about getting a bit part.

[1539] They go, there are no bit parts, only bit actors.

[1540] And then you go, I don't want to be a bit actor.

[1541] I'm happy to be a tree.

[1542] Well, there's certain comics that will tell you there are no bad crowds.

[1543] Those people are assholes.

[1544] Sure.

[1545] I think we've been...

[1546] The thing is, if you're a younger comic, and you're like, that crowd sucked.

[1547] You don't have the bandwidth to know what's good and bad yet.

[1548] Not yet.

[1549] So, you can say that.

[1550] I can say that.

[1551] We've all seen bad crowds.

[1552] Sure.

[1553] Yeah.

[1554] And we can chalk it up for what it is.

[1555] But if you're a year in or two years in, it was probably you not auditing or just, like, adjusting on the fly.

[1556] Or you're not very good Yeah, maybe that too Sure Sure That's a weird thing about comics Where there's a weird thing about comics where you know There's no way They're gonna figure it out I don't know though Because I mean as a whole yes But there are I hear There's anomalies of that Like because I would hear stories about Sebastian Which is so crazy Because I wasn't there for that timeline But he's killing it He's so funny You know And he's like the guy now Well he was never terrible Okay so you're talking about like No I remember Sebastian in the beginning.

[1557] He was never terrible.

[1558] He was learning.

[1559] I see.

[1560] But he was, he showed up all the time.

[1561] And he was always a nice guy.

[1562] And he's like, he wasn't terrible.

[1563] He just didn't do great in the beginning.

[1564] I think people just take liberties with that story then.

[1565] And they make it sound like, yeah.

[1566] No, he was never offensively unfunny.

[1567] There's certain people that are offensively unfuny where you're like, there's not a chance.

[1568] You're missing the DNA.

[1569] Like you just can't, you're colorblind.

[1570] You're missing it.

[1571] Whatever it is, you don't have it.

[1572] Yeah.

[1573] Can't breathe under water.

[1574] I mean, that's the beauty.

[1575] I would hear Mitsy's stories of her just telling people.

[1576] You're terrible.

[1577] You never met her, huh?

[1578] No. I got there when Tommy was around, and it was kind of, so she was still, she was, like, sick, you know?

[1579] And he would say, Mitzie saw your tape.

[1580] And I don't know.

[1581] I know, I know, I know, yeah.

[1582] So he would always just, like, have this buffer between, like, Mitzie and myself.

[1583] Of course.

[1584] Pretend that.

[1585] Mitsy was, she became, like, what's the guy's name from Psycho?

[1586] Norman Bates?

[1587] just like up in the house in the fucking shower but it was really him you know like his mom's dead and he would put the wig on that was Tommy Tommy put the Mitzie wig on and then he would always like do her voice and stuff and like when giving fame yeah man dude like because he would expunge wisdom and because I remember I would drive up from Boeing that was my so I was working in Long Beach so oh yeah so I got the engineer degree right and then I just applied to jobs I did mechanical because my best friend was doing mechanical and I was like I don't care what engineering I do I just I'll be close about it to my friend And you were just doing that So you could have a job Just to support myself It was such a long con It's like all right I knew I wanted to do stand up In the meantime I got to go to college Right I've got to be able to support So I can get good in Seattle That's really funny man I guess people don't Do that Life's a long time If you're lucky you know And it's okay to have To plan this far out It sounds farfetched Maybe if I told it to someone at the time But in hindsight It was the most beautifully executed planned.

[1588] It worked out great.

[1589] Yeah, so I did stand -up while I was going to college.

[1590] My life was just school by day, stand -up at night.

[1591] It would actually be stand -up on the weekends because I was living at home, and it's 40 minutes of the club, so I would just do a lot of time on Friday and Saturday.

[1592] Did your parents know?

[1593] Yeah, they knew.

[1594] And it was bad.

[1595] It was like I was doing heroin.

[1596] Like, they were against it.

[1597] How did it feel now?

[1598] My mom has, I took her to the premiere.

[1599] I had a small role in Whiskey Tangle -Foxroth as Tina Fey movie, so I took her to the premiere in New York and so she got to be on the red carpet and like take pictures with Tina Faye and like and so she she was in she was in after that and she keeps on to ask me she's like when's the next premiere I'm available when's the next premiere that is a hilarious thing to ask there was an after party and everyone's milling about and then my mom's like there's Tina Tina's at the like introduce me I'm like yeah okay okay mom because I'm like my mom's a sweetheart but I'm I'm still caught in this showbiz thing like I'm what number 15 on the call sheet or I'm very down I don't even know if she remembers me even though in the movie you know so I'm like I gotta pick my spot and then she's just kind of like nudges me like like a linebacker she's like pushes me into Tina but it was great to have the out of my mom be like my mom is such a huge fan and she's like oh yeah of course and she was a sweetheart so now she's in she's like you made it you're actually successful or she could see the light at the end of the tunnel like okay what about your dad my dad my dad is kind of more nuts and bolt he doesn't he doesn't like get fooled by the glitz and the glam or anything like that.

[1600] He just understands money and things like I've had a nice car.

[1601] If I had a Mazda Miota, I mean, he'd be fucking sold.

[1602] You're like, you did okay.

[1603] But no. Get a Tesla.

[1604] Yeah, I guess so.

[1605] I think what has softened him a little bit because I just got this place in Tarzana, like a house, and that's like real adult shit.

[1606] So I didn't realize that would kind of soften him a bit because...

[1607] How old are you now?

[1608] 35.

[1609] So you're like, wow, he's a real adult.

[1610] I guess so.

[1611] Yeah.

[1612] Do you have a girlfriend?

[1613] No. So when you get married.

[1614] You think, I don't know if he cares about that.

[1615] Like, I think it's more.

[1616] I guess.

[1617] I think my dad cares more about the security, like, like a real career.

[1618] Right.

[1619] Uh, income and a house and stability.

[1620] When the - Comedy was never, and then also aside from just those things, you know, they're from Afghanistan.

[1621] So it's a low, in my dad's opinion, it's kind of a low thing.

[1622] Comedy is like a low thing for someone to be doing.

[1623] Low?

[1624] Yeah, like low.

[1625] like sub -human because he would always say you at like a giant sold -out theater or something.

[1626] I don't know, maybe, who knows?

[1627] Big line of people waiting to see you?

[1628] I guess.

[1629] I don't know what that thing will be.

[1630] But he would always say because we would be in shouting matches when we were younger.

[1631] Oh, yeah, when we were both younger.

[1632] Yeah, I mean, look, I love my parents and I know what it was grounded in.

[1633] I think they just, they didn't want me to be eating out of a dumpster.

[1634] So they were just, they were there.

[1635] I mean, most of my dad, frustration and lashing out or just like and not like physical or anything just like you know like you're throwing your life away blah blah blah was because he wanted that security for me yeah i understand it for what it is when i was like 17 or 18 yeah you oh you don't get me right like it just feel so now that i'm older i get it i get where he's coming from right yeah so never got what the point was but i think now that i have a little more stability oh yeah he would always say um he's like they he's like you're out there every night with The pimps and the prostitutes.

[1636] I don't think my dad ever been to a comedy club.

[1637] I've never seen a pimp at the comedy store.

[1638] I might have seen one or two prostitutes over the last 20 years.

[1639] You're out there every night with the pimps and the prostitutes.

[1640] That was his line.

[1641] You should talk about this on stage.

[1642] I did it like my last special.

[1643] I tell that story.

[1644] I talk about the story with my dad.

[1645] And he would always trot that out there.

[1646] and then he would um yeah yeah i mean he's not half wrong um he's half wrong i've seen a couple prostiters sure but that's like as long as there's no pimps okay 30 years i've seen maybe two or three prostitutes the whole front rows just like fur coats and like pimpses all pimpses all creased hair oh big diamond rings but he would say people should be entertaining you that would be the thing like i should be the one entertained Not being the entertainer Because you're intelligent I guess so You're a serious person Yeah I guess I like I've just found Like if you want to make broad strokes I think in the Middle Eastern community It's like they love art But Their kids shouldn't be doing it Like they should be consumers of art But what interesting But what if you were like a famous painter Classical painter I guess no one No parent really thinks Best case scenario for their kid Like Yeah but what if a bunch of people buy his art it's always like it's a pipe dream what are the odds blah blah yeah you're throwing your life away and i guess there is some because statistically sure oh yeah statistically sure but i think like what i would do different when i have kids or whatever i would i would explain the realities of how you know the whole theater degree thing i'm so glad they made me do a degree with teeth because that allowed me to have a legitimate job to get me out here like i'm not a trust fund kid right how else would i be close to where i needed to be here there in seattle oh so they're still up there's still there Yeah, yeah.

[1647] So, so I would have some practicality.

[1648] I'd be like, I'll pay for your college, get a legitimate degree where there's an actual job outlook at the end.

[1649] Like, I'm not paying you to find yourself.

[1650] When did you quit the job?

[1651] Like 2010?

[1652] 2010, 2009.

[1653] So right when you came to the store?

[1654] Right around.

[1655] So some things happened.

[1656] Like, I was working at Boeing for three and a half years.

[1657] And I would just work by day and I would drive up to Hollywood and like the valley by night.

[1658] I was burning the candle at both ends.

[1659] Ooh, you must have been tired all the time.

[1660] I was.

[1661] Well, especially.

[1662] at first, because I didn't know the lay of the comedy land, I was just going, I thought everything was worth my time, or you don't know until you do it.

[1663] So I would do some, like, shitty open mic, drive all the, like, vans.

[1664] Did you do any backyard shows?

[1665] That were, what wasn't a thing yet?

[1666] That wasn't a thing yet.

[1667] As of late, you know what's so funny is, like, the progression of the alt scene is that first it was in weird spots, like a washing or like a laundromat, and then it was like meltdown, and then living rooms were a big thing, living room shows, and then backyards were hot.

[1668] What's the next?

[1669] I remember living room shows.

[1670] Oh, yeah.

[1671] I want to do a sketch Like 15 people in a living room Or it's like the hot show It's called Crawl Space And everyone's just on their belly You do really funny One -on -one sketches that you do Like you play more than one role Oh thanks man On your Instagram Like are you just super bored During the day And you're like I always wanted to ask you this Oh why I do them and stuff?

[1672] Yeah All right so it's almost just Some of the stuff I do Is just a byproduct of I don't know Being creatively backloged So I love stand -up And I love sketch Those come to me naturally sometimes people will be like do you have a movie script or like uh you know what's what's what's your sitcom and that's just more work there's a scaffolding there that if i was teamed up with someone who understands that world maybe it'd be a little more easy but i don't want to bang my head against a wall to understand a format where standup and sketch just like come to me right so that's why i lean into that so standup has been a thing i've been doing for like 17 years i feel like i've developed i'm good at that sketch um i started doing i did it like i think eighth i was i grew up through it like um i would do funny videos in school like video productions back in the day when you had two VCRs this is before like avid so you'd like jog shuttle you'd have two tapes you're mixed down tape and your raw tape so you'd actually like make sketches on a VHS cassette so I was always into that because I love SNL you know so and then you know you stop doing it I'm doing stand -up and then I moved to LA and I'm not getting on stage that much because it's so saturated here it's so it's the biggest market here and New York although I think it's easier to get on stage as a stand -up in New York here you have to deal with actor and there's a real bottleneck.

[1673] So I wasn't getting up a lot.

[1674] But I'm a creative guy.

[1675] I have all these ideas.

[1676] And I had this idea for this video.

[1677] I'm like, I would attend an Afghan wedding or whatever.

[1678] So, and I was going to, I was trying to get people to help me out and shoot it.

[1679] And then you were a runt.

[1680] No one really gives a fuck.

[1681] Like, if you can't do anything for anybody when you first come out here, it's just sort of like, and not in a mean way, it's just the nature of the wilderness.

[1682] Like, why am I going to, you're not a proven thing.

[1683] There's really no upside.

[1684] So you get a lot of like, yeah, I'll help you.

[1685] And then flake.

[1686] So I rewrote it to just do it all in my apartment.

[1687] So I just filmed this video, this YouTube video.

[1688] I wasn't even on YouTube yet, though.

[1689] It was, I did this video called How to Attend an Afghan wedding or something, which is called an Afghan wedding.

[1690] I put it on MySpace, and it kind of does well.

[1691] It kind of takes off a little bit.

[1692] And then my brother was like, oh, you should put it on YouTube.

[1693] Like, it wasn't ubiquitous to put stuff on YouTube yet.

[1694] I was like, oh, yeah, okay, I'll put it on YouTube too.

[1695] I kind of mixed around on there too.

[1696] And that was just kind of like the nudge I needed.

[1697] Like, oh, I'm good.

[1698] I could do this.

[1699] And I could do this while I'm waiting to get stage time.

[1700] So this was another avenue for me. I do stand -up, and then I do sketches.

[1701] And this was in the heyday of YouTube when there was an appetite for YouTube sketch, like indie YouTube sketch, just funny guys, and there's different sketch groups and everything.

[1702] You don't think there's an appetite for that now?

[1703] Not anymore, no. Why not?

[1704] It's become bite -sized.

[1705] No one wants to watch sketch on you, like stand -look.

[1706] People want to watch makeup blogs.

[1707] They want to watch pranks.

[1708] But how do you know?

[1709] I know.

[1710] How do you know?

[1711] Because I've uploaded.

[1712] You see the downturn.

[1713] There was a time.

[1714] Is it because...

[1715] Now it's Instagram.

[1716] Everything's more bite -sized.

[1717] Oh, okay.

[1718] So I'm a sketch guy.

[1719] I love fully formed sketch and really taking my time.

[1720] Like, and me and my buddy Aristotle, like, he's really talented filmmaker and director.

[1721] I think I just left Boeing.

[1722] And I had this idea for this American History X type sketch.

[1723] It's Domino.

[1724] It's called Dominoes.

[1725] And he and I did it and we put it out there.

[1726] And it was beautiful.

[1727] Like, it's just one of my favorite sketches we've done.

[1728] And so I just kept on doing sketch.

[1729] And there was an appetite for it.

[1730] And then it started to drop off.

[1731] Like, there wasn't a lot of viewership.

[1732] Now, YouTube sketch will only work if it was on TV the night before.

[1733] Like, if it's a Key and Peel sketch that made it or like Inside Amy or like a Tonight Show sketch or the only way it'll make the rounds is if the sketch was on TV and then it has a potential to do well on the internet.

[1734] Just a born and bred sketch on the internet doesn't take off anymore.

[1735] Instagram does.

[1736] So I just have all these ideas and I always write them down on my phone.

[1737] And Instagram, those like little one -on -ones is a way to get those ideas.

[1738] out in a very not precious way and it's just idea driven and people respond to it you know so it's just more of like oh let me get this idea out of my head so when you write do you sit down and force yourself in front of a notepad or a computer back in the day like when I was first doing stand -up I had two methods I would I would have the jokes that would just come to me and then I would like sit down and try to manufacture jokes you know like all right all right brain what's funny what's funny about the world right and I would come up with some stuff but always found the things that always worked the best were the stuff that just like came out of the ether it just came to me and then eventually i got to the point where enough i would get enough of those ideas where i didn't have to sit down and write so all i had to do is just be good about capturing what i'm receiving so i have my phone with me all the time back in the day i had a marble notebook and all that but like phones have advanced so much i've ever known me too yeah so whenever i get an idea regardless of what the proper medium for it is like i'll get an instagram video idea i'll get a fully fully formed sketch idea where I need like production value, a sitcom idea or a stand -up idea.

[1739] I have different notes for each of them.

[1740] And I've just trained myself.

[1741] My brain is wired a certain way where I just catch the butterflies or just put the bucket under the faucet.

[1742] So you don't sit down?

[1743] No. I just I'll get the idea.

[1744] I'll jot down as many words as I need to capture it.

[1745] Maybe I don't know say something happens.

[1746] We go to I don't know.

[1747] We go to the lake or something.

[1748] And then like I get where we go hunting.

[1749] I get three ideas about hunting.

[1750] This many words to capture this thought.

[1751] New Wars of Catcher, like separated my commas.

[1752] So I have it.

[1753] Do you record your sets?

[1754] Yeah, I'll record them.

[1755] Do you listen to the recordings?

[1756] I do.

[1757] Well, it depends.

[1758] Like, if I'm doing a hot night at the store, that's kind of like the hits, and I'm not going to learn a lot from the hits.

[1759] Right.

[1760] When I want to work on stuff, I'll tell Adam at the store, when I call in my avails, I go up late on Tuesday or Wednesday, whichever one I get, I specifically ask to go late so that there's hard, yeah, there's no pressure.

[1761] There's like 10 people trying to sober up.

[1762] I'm on my phone.

[1763] And it's not like this, because when it's a packed OR, it's kind of like a, what do you got?

[1764] Like I paid this much money.

[1765] I got a hot date with me, blah, blah, blah.

[1766] It's a different show.

[1767] Joey Diaz started getting angry about it.

[1768] About what?

[1769] But you can't practice.

[1770] Well, you can.

[1771] You just have to choose different time slots or choose different shows to do it on.

[1772] There's new material nights.

[1773] I love those.

[1774] Like Neil Brennan has one at West Side.

[1775] That's one of my favorite shows to do.

[1776] JF Harris has one.

[1777] So you have those new material shows.

[1778] But I'll just, if you choose to do a later time slot, it might be different for you because you're such a draw, but I'm nobody, you know, I'm a cusp for right now, so I can just do late night.

[1779] But I just think you just sandwich those new bits in between old bits.

[1780] You can, but if you just want the total mental freedom of just, like, throw spaghetti against the wall.

[1781] Right.

[1782] And not, and in a professional way.

[1783] Because if, if I'm doing a hot show and I'm trying to do a sandwich, it can still put the brakes a little bit.

[1784] Oh, yeah.

[1785] And, you know, I don't need that.

[1786] I'm not Joe Rogan yet.

[1787] Yeah, but that's, that's where it's at.

[1788] I mean, I find the way out of it by putting, when it hits the brakes.

[1789] Sure.

[1790] You panic and then you find a way out And sometimes that's where you find a punchline Sometimes not You have to deal with the five out of ten Five out of ten are gonna eat shit Five out of ten It's almost like being a baseball manager I have my A string My B string so if I'm doing like a hot show And I want to work on a B So there's different levels of bits that I can polish I'm not gonna throw a D A D in there It's prime time baby Yeah right D is for 1 a .40 a M D's got no pressure D's got a lot of potential Do you do Jeremiah show?

[1791] I love that show, yeah.

[1792] I'm doing that tonight.

[1793] Dude, oh, that's the best.

[1794] I love shows where the audience knows the expectation is like you're flying on the wall in the process.

[1795] Yeah, and just no pre -recorded or pre -planned material.

[1796] There's so much goodwill.

[1797] Yeah.

[1798] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1799] Because you don't get that when it's just like a show show.

[1800] I've come up with four or five legitimate bits that have wound up on specials because of Jeremiah show.

[1801] Yeah.

[1802] It's almost like a stand -up float tank.

[1803] Yeah.

[1804] It's a great little workshop.

[1805] All right, what's this idea?

[1806] What's that?

[1807] And it's also because everybody knows that you're doing that, so it's kind of more fun.

[1808] And also, if you hit a dead end, that's funny because they know, they know the theme of the show.

[1809] Yeah.

[1810] I just wish you would do it more often.

[1811] He's only doing it like once a month.

[1812] Do it once a week, man. I don't know.

[1813] Maybe they know what their sweet spot is.

[1814] Yeah, I don't think they do.

[1815] I think the sweet spots once a week.

[1816] Yeah, yeah.

[1817] I think it's totally possible to do that show once a week.

[1818] Yeah.

[1819] Yeah, I love those shows.

[1820] When was the first time your parents saw you on stage?

[1821] Oh, you know what?

[1822] this is so funny this is kind of so this is like the last bit on my special I talk about it like they seem to once once ever yeah yeah really yeah did you bomb oh yeah oh in the word in the biggest way oh my god oh yeah I mean do you want to hear the story fuck yeah I do okay so this is just a rehash of like the last thing so the last thing I said I'm I closed my special with this so I'm like 17 I'm like 17 or 18 I'm at college there's a bulletin board and it says like Apollo amateur night on tour right so there's a flyer like the Apollo's going on tour and you can audition and I've the Apollo theater yeah the Apollo theater yeah so they're going to all these major cities right so I'm like interesting especially I'm just getting I'm maybe a year in or a few months in the stand -up this is gonna be a great opportunity isn't it funny the level of delusion you have as a young comic yeah yeah we're like I'm ready yeah they gotta hear what I got to say I've been doing this for a few months So I take the, you know, take the little tab, I have it.

[1823] I get all the info, I go there.

[1824] It's in Seattle.

[1825] So I go there to audition.

[1826] I forget where they're holding the audition.

[1827] It's this like theater or whatever.

[1828] So I'm sitting, there's 342 people just like wait.

[1829] It's like American Idol, pretty much.

[1830] And there's like a bunch of, like older black ladies singing, I believe I can fly under their breath.

[1831] Like, just because they're mostly singers.

[1832] So you just here like, like, they're up and up.

[1833] And I'm just standing there Like I didn't do my jokes later Oh my God And everyone's like Doree me So finally it's my time to go So I go out there I do my stand -up set And it does well Like it does genuinely well It wasn't like a Oh fuck let's feed them to the sharks Like I did well Like I made them laugh you know So I find out I get selected I think I'm one of 11 One of 11 who gets selected So I'm like sweet And then I invite everyone I'm like mom dad Everyone from school and shit oh yeah yeah everyone it's at it's at the paramount theater in seattle have you been there yeah what is that 4 ,000 5 ,000 people something like that maybe 3 ,000 whatever it's in the thousands people it's a big place yeah it's one of our nicest theaters beautiful yeah so so I invite everyone and then it's packed oh it's packed oh oh my god so so I do the dress rehearsal I do the dress rehearsal a blog of the motions lady comes up to me and she's like oh the producer that's great the producer of the show thinks like you should do this bit before instead of your hip hop stuff like do this bit first and it was like this bit where I was talking about being Afghan or something you know so okay whatever like I'm so new I just trust the producer I'm like I guess they know so I rearranged my set just based on the producer's request come out of the show everyone's there blah blah it's my time to like they introduce me blah blah you know please welcome to you man where I come out I'm like, hey guys I'm like, man, my name is Baham, it's like an Afghan or like Middle Eastern Afghan to be exact, and he's like, boo, boob, I'm not out there for maybe 20 seconds.

[1834] They just start booing?

[1835] It's such an interesting sensation to be booed by that many people.

[1836] So it just like, it starts cascading like, bobo, bo, bo.

[1837] And I've seen Apollo.

[1838] I know how it works and you hear the like the, boon, I'm like, all right, I don't need to get swept off.

[1839] Like, I know how this works.

[1840] So I get booed off.

[1841] You get booed off.

[1842] off just from talking about being afghan maybe i don't know maybe it just really sucked maybe it's because it was like close to 9 -11 and i talked about being afghan whatever i get i get booed you know i mean i'm sure it sucked balls too whatever i was about to say was gonna like be so bad so i was gonna get booed regardless but i lasted maybe 15 seconds 15 20 seconds so i'm just like shell shocked and then i'm just chilling in the hallway there was a there was a desk there was like a you know like an old school student desk where it's like l shape and they have the basket it's just in the stairwell for some reason so I just sit I just sit in that chair I felt like I was in a video game or something because that's not a human experience really that many people get to go through so I'm just trying to make sense of what happened and the world and my life moving forward it's a lot going on it's a lot going on you know and then you know I get up I gather myself I go up to stairwell I get my things from you know I have to see everyone else and the green oh the worst see everyone in the green room area get my shit I get my car and I think I like drive home my parents they take a separate car right and then I hear the rest of the story from my brother so they're all in the dodge caravan my cousin Nilo my brother my dad my mom is just silent on the car ride home like no one's talking because I mean you know they saw what they saw so no one's saying anything and then obviously my dad my dad's like was them thrilled about me to begin with right so he he breaks the silence he goes well there's no business like show business and in hindsight I think that's why when I want them to come out I want it to be like such a polar opposite experience and obviously I've come a long way from then but I'm almost grateful that it did happen because you know when comics trade bomb stories I fucking win every time and for me to be so young like 17 and come back from that that means like there's really something like a fire in me or like I was meant to do this or I really love stand -up, because that's not a pleasurable experience to potentially think that could happen again, you know?

[1843] Now, they've seen you on television.

[1844] Did they watch your special?

[1845] Yeah, they see me, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1846] Did they think your special was good?

[1847] Yeah, I think so.

[1848] I never know, like, my mom will tell me, but I never know what my dad catches and.

[1849] When was the last time you worked in Seattle?

[1850] Do you do the parlor?

[1851] Yeah, we do.

[1852] No, I closed it, yeah, like a few months ago, I think.

[1853] Fucking A. Yeah.

[1854] So the pool hall part that's gone, too?

[1855] I think so.

[1856] Fuck.

[1857] Yeah.

[1858] You like to play there?

[1859] Yeah.

[1860] It was a great gig.

[1861] play pool and do comedy at the same time for me that's your jam oh my god it's like you design the club yeah that's how i designed a club yeah yeah so it's weird i mean i could have them come out to another show they have there now what's the club i don't know i think it's mostly uh no they have um giggles or whatever in the university district or maybe it's called laughs it's called laughs it's where giggles used to be so they only have like one comedy club and all of seattle they have to coma they have coma you know that's crazy spokane but these aren't seattle Fuck, man. Seattle used to be a scene.

[1862] That fucking parlor live was a great club.

[1863] How did it go under?

[1864] Probably Brian Callan.

[1865] You think?

[1866] Yeah.

[1867] Just throw it.

[1868] I don't know.

[1869] What if that became true?

[1870] It's like the man who broke the parlor.

[1871] You fucking ruined it, bro.

[1872] Yeah.

[1873] Yeah.

[1874] So when your parents come to see you, will they come to see you in L .A.?

[1875] Or they come to see you?

[1876] I don't know.

[1877] I haven't decided.

[1878] I've put on the back burner for, I mean, I guess if I do the tonight show, I mean, I've done two late nights already.

[1879] It's almost 20 years later.

[1880] I know.

[1881] They got to.

[1882] come see you live oh yeah yeah what should i do i don't know invite him to a show yeah i don't know what show pretend they're at the first show and then bring them to the second show yeah just to mentally prepare yeah yeah yeah you obviously have a little bit of a block you're thinking about it yeah not a block but it's a it's a thing oh for sure yeah yeah they saw you eat shit yeah and especially when they were so anti that yes but you were right and they were wrong this is how it works i mean my parents never yelled at me that I can't do comedy or else wasted my life or that I'd be there with pimps and prostitutes.

[1883] I mean, I love my parent.

[1884] We have a great relationship.

[1885] This was just kind of like one one thing that was incongruent in the relationship.

[1886] Almost no parents think their child is going to make it as a comedian.

[1887] It is the most, it's the most impossible to imagine success business that you could ever think your kid's going to go into.

[1888] No, there's no, like we're talking about stand up that none of this is written down.

[1889] We're talking about the principles stand up.

[1890] There's no course you can take.

[1891] It doesn't exist.

[1892] Any class is usually taken by someone who's not very successful at stand -up, for the most part.

[1893] I don't know of any successful.

[1894] Chris Rock's not out there teaching comedy classes.

[1895] It can give you the confidence to, like, jump off the cliff?

[1896] Yes.

[1897] But outside of that, you're not going to learn.

[1898] But here's the thing, all these principles that we're talking, I mean, think about, look, comedy is obviously a viable art form in a large -scale venue.

[1899] I mean, I just got done doing two arenas this weekend, right?

[1900] So we're talking about something that is right up there with music or even with sports.

[1901] I mean, it's large scale, enormous people.

[1902] Yet there's no real, like, pathway that's written down.

[1903] There's no real principles of it that are universally assumed by all people who participate in the art form.

[1904] Whereas almost, like, if you learn music, you learn chords and chord progression, you learn how to use your diaphragm, you learn how to sing and learn how to play instruments and you learn how to make a chorus and there's none of that for us.

[1905] I think it was just such a foreign, I can understand where they're coming from because it's such an foreign concept.

[1906] If you get an engineering degree or you're a doctor, you do A, B, you get C. There's a blueprint for it.

[1907] Yeah.

[1908] Stand -up is just so nebulous or just like the arts in general.

[1909] It's just sort of like, you can't tell someone what, like your path to success is going to be different than Ian's path to mine.

[1910] Sure.

[1911] And you kind of learn that as a comic as well early on because I think there's a little bit of imposter syndrome like, oh, like if somebody else gets something, you feel like it's an attack on you.

[1912] But you do it long enough, you realize, like, oh, everyone's journey is so different.

[1913] Well, not in a hippie -dippy way.

[1914] Yeah.

[1915] But, like, your relationships are different than mine.

[1916] They're different.

[1917] So everyone hits at different times.

[1918] Yep.

[1919] And it's not right or wrong.

[1920] It's just life and nature, you know?

[1921] Yeah.

[1922] And you're different than everybody else.

[1923] You just got to concentrate on doing your best and figure out what you can learn from other people's success and failures, but don't think of it as your own success or failure.

[1924] Yeah.

[1925] And eyes on your own paper.

[1926] Yeah, I wouldn't want my kids to do comedy.

[1927] If my kids, look, it would be hilarious.

[1928] hypocritical.

[1929] If one of my kids was like, I want to be a comedian, like, listen, you're not going to be a fucking comedian.

[1930] Stop.

[1931] Yeah, I think where I differ with me and my parents is if they want to do something in the arts, I'd be like, have at it.

[1932] Like, I support you.

[1933] I want it to work out.

[1934] Yeah.

[1935] But kind of have a foundation.

[1936] Work on that.

[1937] I don't want to send you to do communications for four years.

[1938] Yeah, like, but there's no school for it.

[1939] Yeah.

[1940] Stand -up school.

[1941] Here's a school.

[1942] Have a shitty childhood.

[1943] That's the best school.

[1944] But the thing is, I had a good child.

[1945] Yeah.

[1946] I was well adjusted.

[1947] I had, like, maybe that's why it hurt so much.

[1948] Maybe.

[1949] Like, I gave him everything.

[1950] he still did it yeah that's funny you might be one of the rare guys i think i think there's a new breed where there's people obviously you know there there's two more what just well -adjusted yeah i don't know those pete holmes i go even level -headed again what about the necrol i don't know maybe don't look everyone everyone is fucked up to some degree yes yeah so that's why they're comics sure yeah but ever no matter who anybody you pluck off of earth is fucked up yeah yeah so this is a universal truth but usually some kind of fucked up childhood is a prerequisite it helps it's like the whole fuel it's fuel it's like there's fighters that come from good childhoods too yeah you know I would have this it's a dumb thought but I would have it as a kid trying to do stand up and not have to face this wall of I don't know you know my parents not wanting me to do it I'm like oh man I kind of wish I had like a like a worst childhood or like not middle class because then it wouldn't It wouldn't be questioned.

[1951] It would just be like, yeah, of course.

[1952] What else are you going to do?

[1953] Well, I was really healthy when I was young because I was a martial artist.

[1954] I was competing all the time.

[1955] And I always worked out.

[1956] And I always thought, man, if I was a drug addict, I'd probably be funnier.

[1957] I really used to think that way.

[1958] Because, like, the guys who did drugs, like, Knessin and Pryor, they had drug problems.

[1959] Yeah.

[1960] They were so funny.

[1961] I feel like, I mean, you've been doing it for a long time.

[1962] So maybe you have a better perspective on this.

[1963] I think, like, back in the day with the doing drugs and all that, part of that, did that help?

[1964] Like, was it image?

[1965] Like, how, in terms of just seeing the comedy, for what it is was it part it being new rock star stuff drugs so you didn't have to be as tight as say like nowadays because there's so many more comedians no or was it still airtight there's wildness to it there's wildness to it like I think the funniest guy of all time is Joey Diaz and one of the reasons why he's the funniest guy of all time is the wildness like he's truly wild like in you know it's great watching him like in the OR especially in 2019 yes The climate we're in.

[1966] Yeah, yeah, he don't give a fault.

[1967] You can't tell, he doesn't know.

[1968] It's like he came out of a time machine.

[1969] He's like, I'm seen, oh man. I know.

[1970] They just thawed him out and they just threw him on the OR.

[1971] And people, they're horrified and so happy at the same time.

[1972] Yes, I think even the woken people when they're watching Joey, and there's just this energy and people are laughing so hard, like your altruism can't break through that.

[1973] You can't deny what's happening right now.

[1974] Right.

[1975] So it kind of makes you, I guess, reassess.

[1976] what you're supposed like I shouldn't be laughing at this It's a weird time for comedy But in that weird time You're gonna get some of the best stuff Because it's like supercharged Yeah And it's like as it was it When it does get through If you can cover all the bases And make your argument soundly And logically And also have it be funny I'll see bird do that all the time too And like Joey's just such a force of nature Yeah It's you don't have time to like Think about it as this woke or you're just knee jerk, you're just rolling.

[1977] Burr will kind of just like throw out this crazy premise that no one, no sane person would be on board with it, like especially guys on dates.

[1978] Like you just hear, you know, some of these arguments or whatever he'll just throw it out there.

[1979] And he won't steam roll over, he'll just let it simmer.

[1980] And that's my favorite.

[1981] Because like he's methodically surgically taking his time to proving the point of this argument.

[1982] Well, a lot of these arguments, I would suspect that he's having it home with his wife, his wife's very powerful woman and she's feminist i mean what a cool woman too you know what i mean just like yeah so he has to formulate really well thought out arguments i would imagine i mean maybe he would but you know he's obviously thinking these through like this is not this not he's not flippant about these points of view these perspectives yeah yeah so i just i just love how just throw like a piece of bologna on the kitchen room when it nails when it nails it man it's like so much more satisfying even in the past because it's like you're you're making your way through the rockiest stretch of the river and i think those are the most rewarding bits as comedians the longer you've been doing it like i could be silly and get a joke and sure that's fun but it's it's not that rewarding as if you have an argument like burr or something where it's just countered counterculture and you can thought it's like going through the the laser field that's way more rewarding They're just walking down the hallway.

[1983] Right.

[1984] Like Mission Impossible when all those lasers are protecting the diamond and they're like limbo through these things.

[1985] Yeah.

[1986] What kind of movie is that and just walks up as an apple and goes?

[1987] Right.

[1988] And then the credits.

[1989] Yeah.

[1990] It's an interesting time to get these ideas out there.

[1991] But you see by the reaction at the comedy store that people are looking forward to it because I think they feel the same way.

[1992] Like, God damn it, everything's going so far.

[1993] And so many people are so goddamn sensitive about so many different things and it's not about intent.

[1994] They're just looking at magic, words and buzz words and topics that are off limits there's no such thing as context anymore or intention and you get that at the comedy store and i think it's the last place people are talking uh this freely yes because i used to think all right we've been in a bit of a resurgence would stand up and like all the specials and all that i'm like when's it going to burst i'm like oh cool i'm going to get to miss two comedy bubbles sweet but then yeah but then it's proven wrong like it's getting bigger and bigger yeah it's good that's why it was a bubble when it sucked Let me tell you about the bubble of the 1980s.

[1995] There was a bunch of people that had a kind of way of talking about things.

[1996] So I got a cat in my room and the mouse was like Wild Kingdom in my house.

[1997] It was a way of talking.

[1998] There was a comedy way of talking that these guys did.

[1999] There were some guys that just were not insightful and they just did comedy in a way that they had heard people do comedy.

[2000] So they kind of just like mimic the sounds.

[2001] It's like, you ever heard a band?

[2002] that sounds exactly like maybe Stone Temple Pilots or something like that but they're not really like they're close but like what's so weird they sound so much like Stone Temple Pilots I don't know if you remember Gorilla Black No what's that?

[2003] He sounded exactly like notorious B -I -G No way oh yeah it's insane Who the fuck is that?

[2004] Gorilla Black yeah really like when I heard it I'm like are we doing this?

[2005] This is so crazy Oh yeah it was insane Yeah I watched a comic one night at in 1993 or something like that on stage in Montreal at Just for Laughs and he was basically doing a richer prior impression and I was like what in the fuck am I seeing it's like this guy was doing prior I mean everything about his set he was doing prior I'm like this is so strange to see that people do that well that that was a part of the bubble in the bubble there was these guys who would wear the clothes They thought a comedian would wear and say the things.

[2006] And there was so much work and there were so many, there were so many clubs and there were so many evening at the improvs and all these different little shows.

[2007] Anyone could get a piece.

[2008] Yeah.

[2009] People got a piece.

[2010] If you just mimic the part.

[2011] Dude, there was a lot of people back then that were arrogant that were working and they were headliners and they were arrogant and they were fucking terrible.

[2012] And I really enjoyed watching them fall off the face of the earth, you know.

[2013] And I'll tell you some names afterwards with the other names, I was going to tell you.

[2014] But these people were doing comedy in a, they weren't participating in an art form they were mimicking they were mimicking the people that were participating in the art form like love him or hate him jerry seinfield's an artist oh i love seinfeld yeah i do too but he's an artist his style whether you i've heard criticisms that he's not deep enough he doesn't talk about sex or anything dangerous whatever he likes what he likes he likes to talk about certain he likes a certain style of comedy and he's an as a master at that style but he spawned so many babies what patrice o 'neal would call babies like patrice o 'neill like would say uh like hey man you got a lot of babies out there there's a lot of imitating you you got babies then there's a lot of like david tell the perfect oh yeah got a shitload of babies there's a lot of dain had a lot of babies yes dain had a mitch headberg i remember mish had a lot of babies yeah he had a ton of babies yeah there's a few people that mimic but during the 80s it was there was a few innovative people and a lot of babies it was like there was 10 babies to everyone innovator and you had these like fake headliners and they would show up in town but they had those premises that everybody had they had those beats that everybody had they talked in the same way they didn't take any chances they were shooting straight down the middle and that was the bubble and that all went away that all went away and when that went away those guys died off and there was people that were left over the people that were left over were the actual comics the actual people that were good enough where people would repeatedly go to see them at clubs they wrote a lot they practiced they were they were interested in the actual art form itself and i was really fortunate that i started out in boston where boston had um a very high standard due to barry krimmins really in particular that documentary was a brilliant he was a brilliant guy rest in peace barry um i loved that guy but he that guy he was one of those guys when when he was nice to me as as i got older and And, you know, I was terrified of him, terrified of him.

[2015] Like, him seeing me when I sucked.

[2016] Oh, really?

[2017] Because I knew it was terrible.

[2018] Like, he meant so much to you.

[2019] Well, I knew what a high standard he had for comedy.

[2020] And he was one of the main reasons why there was no hacks that were tolerated in Boston.

[2021] And that you want, everybody had to be original.

[2022] Everybody had to do good material.

[2023] And everybody sort of policed each other, you know.

[2024] And when, when you have a community like that, you get to see the art form flourish in a very good way.

[2025] And we had a lot of, like, different people.

[2026] They were different, but they were all, like, really high level.

[2027] So we would get these guys that would come in from out of town, road guys, they were babies.

[2028] They were Seinfeld babies or different guys.

[2029] And you would see how poor they looked when they were surrounded by these original murderers.

[2030] So you'd have guys like Steve Sweeney and Lenny Clark would go on stage, and then one of these babies would go up after them and just eat plates of shit.

[2031] Why are they going after?

[2032] They had a terrible system in Boston.

[2033] that was really mean, and it was designed to make new, designed to make national headliners bomb.

[2034] Oh, really?

[2035] Yes, yes.

[2036] They would pay them a lot of money to book them at a club, and they would book them on a show with three local headlines.

[2037] Killers.

[2038] And these local headliners would just fucking straight up murder.

[2039] And they would do all this local Boston stuff that made everybody excited.

[2040] And then they would have one of these guys who was used to going to Cleveland.

[2041] Hey, I was just in Indianapolis, had a great time, did a little comedy.

[2042] That's what I do I'm a comedian And they would go up there And just eat Plates of shit And get booed off the stage And people would leave And they were They would do it on purpose Just to teach them a lesson or something No they were just mean Like those guys never First of all those comics Never left Boston Okay And they would murder Almost every night And they were all animals They were doing coke And they were drinking They were fucking savages They'd pay them in Coke Really?

[2043] No bullshit Yeah Nick's comedy stop Used to pay people in Coke Yes Didn't pay me in Coke I never dick, but I knew the whole deal.

[2044] Everybody knew the deal.

[2045] And so when these guys would come in from out of town, they would be angry at these guys.

[2046] And they're like, who is this fucking guy?

[2047] He's got evening at the improv.

[2048] I don't have that show.

[2049] He's on a fucking movie with Billy Crystal.

[2050] Fuck him.

[2051] And they would go on in front of those guys and light them on fire.

[2052] Light them on fire.

[2053] So who's dictating this line at the club?

[2054] Club?

[2055] They were all on Coke.

[2056] Everyone's on Coke.

[2057] So it was just fun for them?

[2058] That was just fun.

[2059] Light them up.

[2060] And they would do it on purpose.

[2061] That's kind of cool.

[2062] You would have, but some guys would survive, like, I saw Dom Herrera in that environment, but Dom murdered.

[2063] Yeah.

[2064] That was the thing.

[2065] Dom murdered.

[2066] So he would go there and he would talk about how strong the lineup was.

[2067] You know, he's like, it's amazing.

[2068] This is great.

[2069] But he would go up a murder because he was a real comic.

[2070] So Dom was there pre -bubble, during the bubble, post -bubble.

[2071] He's a comic.

[2072] I mean, those are the best guys.

[2073] Yes.

[2074] Funny guys who take funny guys on the road with them.

[2075] Yes.

[2076] Because not everyone does that.

[2077] Yeah.

[2078] You know.

[2079] People panic.

[2080] Yeah.

[2081] They want to.

[2082] the best comics are like I want someone funny too yes I want a great show you know the reason why I take Ian or Santino or I always took Joey Diaz before he got too big you know Joey Diaz is selling out the Chicago theater and he's fucking murderant but all those guys Ari and Duncan I want to have fun I want to be with comics I want I want the show to be great I don't want to be the only one is funny that's gross right and I think it's a way to discover new comics as well because like I was I was opening for Neil for a bit for his door for most of the dates and it was so fun for me because I got all headline and stuff but I'm not a draw yet so I need to have a walk -up for whatever the club I'm doing like they need to have comedy on state's great you know in Madison in Wisconsin they have walk -up they just have a trust with the community they all just come to shows no matter what yeah it's great or like comedy works in Denver I've never done comedy on state I heard it's great yeah it's really good there's a theater right next door you'd probably be doing that like it's a great comedy talent I did the theater last time I was there there's actually a poster for that theater in the bathroom out here so it's fun to do that When they have a walk -up audience.

[2083] Like the comedy works, like you said.

[2084] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2085] But if it's some Miranda club, like I'm not a draw yet, like in purgatory.

[2086] But the Neal thing was cool because they're all coming for Neal, their theaters.

[2087] I'm just doing 20 minutes, which is like I can shit that out.

[2088] It's nothing, you know?

[2089] Right.

[2090] Because I'm like headlining.

[2091] So there's no pressure.

[2092] They're there for Neal.

[2093] I have a great set.

[2094] And you're like, yo, you were funny.

[2095] So you get like fans from his fans too.

[2096] It's the best, and it's a great show as a whole.

[2097] Yeah.

[2098] It's like, we compliment each other.

[2099] so yeah you get to intro and he gets to introduce yeah to a funny comment yeah and I'm so grateful that he gets to do that like pull a guy up and and sort of take a little credit for like I don't know yeah no it's great that that's where it's at you know but I don't think this bubble's popping it's too fun it's too good it's too many good people as long as the art form is good the bubble only exists and pops when it's a fake thing like it's a Ponzi scheme that's not really the case right now yeah there's so many good comedians right now everybody's working hard yeah you know everybody really really realizes that there's a lot of pressure on you, so they're all like, that's like you were saying, like, how many sets I do.

[2100] That's why I do so many sets.

[2101] Yeah.

[2102] There's the only way to do it.

[2103] I do it.

[2104] I do it.

[2105] There's so many outlets now, too, which is kind of what's helping it not pop is.

[2106] Yes.

[2107] You have Netflix.

[2108] You have these new streaming like HBO Max on Amazon and Amazon and Apple.

[2109] Gap begins on here in a couple days and he's got.

[2110] It has Amazon special.

[2111] Yeah.

[2112] And so does Alonzo Bowden.

[2113] His Amazon special is coming out soon.

[2114] And then.

[2115] And there's a bunch of other people that have Amazon specials.

[2116] I'm seeing people advertise them on their Instagram.

[2117] So Amazon is putting together a bunch of specials now, which to me is very, very exciting because they have the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, which is one of my favorite shows.

[2118] So I'm just psyched that there's a lot of new venues.

[2119] And then there's new streaming things.

[2120] Like, who knows?

[2121] Maybe Hulu will get into stand -up.

[2122] You know, maybe some of these other streaming services will get in a stand -up.

[2123] It's great for everybody, man. It really is.

[2124] There's plenty.

[2125] Or there's guys like Andrew Schultz.

[2126] He just went straight to YouTube.

[2127] As a performer and another comedian, and I think everyone has varying degrees of, I think, angst that he had coming up, and I kind of felt that way as well.

[2128] Like, people have varying degrees of how much the industry fucked with you.

[2129] Sometimes I feel in, sometimes I don't feel in, I do for certain things.

[2130] And that was just really refreshing just to take the power back.

[2131] Yeah.

[2132] And even seeing it happen with, I have so many peers in the game.

[2133] Like, I've known Theo forever.

[2134] Yeah.

[2135] We've been puttering around town and doing shows and just, you know, obscurity.

[2136] and then doing the podcast and just seeing him take his own fan base and power back and everyone wanted to fuck with him now and like they weren't they weren't launching that guy you kind of learn too that it's just monkeys picking stocks well in all fairness Theo turned a corner like two years ago where I remember watching him before and I'm like this guy's kind of funny he's unique but then two years ago me and Adam were in the back of the room like this motherfucker's turned a corner Like he was just killing it He was just really funny But like a funny in a new way Like he had hit some new gear Like some of the words he uses to describe It's like But he hit that gear And then everything took off from there It was a lot of it was just hard work Persistence hard work And just eventually it really clicked I think it was like a one two punch I think it was turning that corner And then also just The word of the people Democratically just his podcast And him doing other people's podcast too For sure Because he's really good on podcast He's just fucking silly and funny.

[2137] And then his own podcast where he just looks right at the camera and rants and talks about shit.

[2138] And you realize like how his fucking unusual brain works.

[2139] Isn't it funny?

[2140] Sometimes you just want to like figure out what this algorithm is or what he's doing?

[2141] And you go, no, that's just him.

[2142] You ain't figured that out.

[2143] I can't.

[2144] Yeah.

[2145] No, you're never going to figure that out.

[2146] How would you think to call it that?

[2147] Never.

[2148] Yeah.

[2149] He's got Theo comedy.

[2150] For sure.

[2151] But it's like what we were talking about earlier where no one can really teach you how to do comedy.

[2152] Like you're, you got a. figure it out and no one no classically trained comedian if there ever really was one would ever It would be terrible to do theater Classically trained comedian It would be so...

[2153] It would be like those babies Yeah It would be like those guys that are like fake Seinfelds or fake Gaffirons or whatever the fuck they are They would Yeah the Shultz thing was really cool to see Because he just did it on his own Yep But here's a thing and I wanted to bring this up with you Jamie Is he shadow band on Instagram Tell me what you think is going on Because I texted him when that happened Because I looked it up Yes And his name showed up right at the top of my list.

[2154] But he said other people were getting, yeah, he said you didn't show up on mine.

[2155] Really?

[2156] Yes.

[2157] I think they changed the algorithm because I've noticed views.

[2158] Hold on, it could be what?

[2159] It could be, but you'll have to take it like a case -by -case scenario.

[2160] Was the person that first sent it to him, are they already following him?

[2161] Do they search his name a lot?

[2162] Did they block anything he's ever done?

[2163] People have told him, hey, man, I'm having a hard time finding your Instagram page.

[2164] And so he asked me about it.

[2165] And I said, what do you mean?

[2166] and I go, I see you right now, you're on my feed.

[2167] And he goes, no, no, if you go to search me, so I go, okay, let me search you.

[2168] I go, whoa, I searched Andrew Schultz, nothing.

[2169] I mean, a bunch of other people, but not him, and he's got a lot of followers.

[2170] Like, let's do it right now.

[2171] Put it up, put it up on the screen.

[2172] Okay.

[2173] Put it up on the screen.

[2174] Let this part of what I was saying is, I follow him.

[2175] So if you're not already following him, they might show up in a different way.

[2176] But I do follow him.

[2177] Look at this for him.

[2178] Hi.

[2179] Hello.

[2180] Now, just write Andrew, and give him some space, write space.

[2181] I haven't gotten to Andrew yet.

[2182] Space.

[2183] Well, it should have shown up already, to be honest.

[2184] But just space, and then type in his name.

[2185] See, it's not coming up.

[2186] Right.

[2187] That's not weird.

[2188] Now hit search.

[2189] I don't think you can't search on the web.

[2190] Oh, on the web.

[2191] But look, it's not showing up.

[2192] You see Andrew Scholl's fans.

[2193] Even when I typed in his actual account name, it didn't show up.

[2194] Hold on a second.

[2195] What is that Andrew Scholl's fans?

[2196] What is that?

[2197] Click on that.

[2198] Right there.

[2199] Below it, below it, below it, below it.

[2200] Keep going.

[2201] Are you blind?

[2202] There it is.

[2203] That's right.

[2204] Click on that.

[2205] I know, but it's not.

[2206] So it's his fans have made, oh, 165 followers.

[2207] Yes, I am.

[2208] That's crazy.

[2209] Right, no, I know it's not him.

[2210] I'm just trying to figure out what it is.

[2211] So just in that search, it's not showing up.

[2212] And it wouldn't show up for me on my phone either.

[2213] Now, it doesn't make any sense, because what does he have, like, a half a million followers?

[2214] How many followers do you have?

[2215] Isn't that interesting?

[2216] Yeah.

[2217] Like, he thinks he's being shadow banned.

[2218] What's the, are they trying to, like, get some money out of?

[2219] No. 282 ,000 people.

[2220] And he can't find his, his page on Instagram.

[2221] Is it Schultz with a T or no?

[2222] No. No, ULZ.

[2223] But it's not showing up.

[2224] It's not showing up on mine either.

[2225] Now, we might be being paranoid here, and it might be just something in the search algorithm that for whatever reason his thing isn't showing up.

[2226] And he used to say Andrew has.

[2227] Schultz.

[2228] I don't know why, Hezzi.

[2229] What does that mean?

[2230] Nickname of his, I don't know.

[2231] Okay.

[2232] And maybe he thought that Hezzy was fucking him up.

[2233] So he took Hez out of his name on his Instagram page.

[2234] So it just says Andrew Schultz now.

[2235] But even though, still, you can't find it.

[2236] Yeah, that's weird.

[2237] You have to type in Andrew Schultz all together with no space and then you'll find them.

[2238] That's what I just didn't.

[2239] It didn't come up.

[2240] With no space?

[2241] Yeah, that's what I was just doing in front while you were asking me to type stuff.

[2242] And I was typing it.

[2243] Oh, so you did it with space.

[2244] Space and no space?

[2245] Yeah, that's when I did it to him.

[2246] I was like, if you're typing in no space, that's where the issue is.

[2247] If I'd leave a note, if I'd type it in all the way, it's showing up right away.

[2248] And he said, well, I'm seeing that from people both ways.

[2249] So I go, well, if that's what you're seeing, then I'll go out on a limb and sort of say, someone is manipulating that search result because you can manipulate search results.

[2250] Well, here's the thing.

[2251] They do shadow ban people on certain social media platforms.

[2252] This has been revealed through hidden camera conversations with people who are, whatever, moderators or engineers or people that work behind the scenes on Twitter or Facebook.

[2253] And they do manipulate algorithms, manipulate searches and shadow ban people.

[2254] And there's a lot of people, particularly conservative people, which he's not conservative.

[2255] But what he is, is, you know, he's a raunchy comedian.

[2256] And he might have done something that someone felt was not woke or what have you.

[2257] And they want to slow down the broadcasting of his signal.

[2258] That's entirely possible.

[2259] know if it's true though I would love to have a logical explanation that's still why he's not showing up yes but he's you know he's complaining about it that it's a shadow ban anyway go follow andrew Andrew Andrew Schultz yeah uh S H -U -L -Z go follow yeah I saw him in Montreal just to tell Instagram shadow bands we can get around you bitch he's a marketing genius it's just great to hear him talk about you know what he's doing and like how to get around it and it's exciting because you forget as an artist that you have a lot of power like you're everything you're the product and sometimes especially the old models you just kind of waited to be anointed well he's got millions and millions of views on his special on YouTube and if you stop and think about if that was on Comedy Central which Comedy Central did want to give him a special he probably would get like maybe a million people would watch it when it came out and that would be the end of it I have a special and I don't think people are watching it just YouTube is accessible You can be in comedy jail You can do a great special And no one can find it Right Yeah And everyone has YouTube Everyone can click on a link Everyone has YouTube And this was his logic He was like you know what I'm just gonna release the whole thing On YouTube And look he went straight from Not selling out clubs To selling out theaters Like that And now he sells out everywhere internationally And it's amazing From afar to watch The industry change Because you just realize Because I think early on You So much of your self -worth is put in these people and you don't realize to later that, oh, they're just heat -seeking missiles.

[2260] Yep, yeah.

[2261] They don't, you know, a majority of them don't have taste, taste, it's just it's revenue.

[2262] Whatever's hot.

[2263] Can I get up high of whatever this is?

[2264] Yeah, I mean, including hacks.

[2265] I mean, there's a long history of them supporting hacks and thieves.

[2266] It's just a thing where they're, what they're trying to do is make money.

[2267] You know, if you're an agent or a producer, I mean, there's no benefit in you supporting an artist that is not going to be commercially viable.

[2268] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2269] You have to find out, like, who's it going to Who's going to pop?

[2270] Who's going to be the next movie star?

[2271] Who's going to be in the movies?

[2272] You know, you have to figure that person out.

[2273] What was it like when, you know, let me see a thing went down?

[2274] What was the climate like for you, say, professionally after that went down?

[2275] Because he was at a different level at that time, right?

[2276] Yeah.

[2277] Yeah.

[2278] He was more popular than me with comedy for sure.

[2279] You know, I was doing Fear Factor back then.

[2280] And I wasn't really working on the road that much.

[2281] I really couldn't.

[2282] You know, I was doing, you know, 30 episodes a year plus.

[2283] So 30 weeks, a year of work, and I wasn't really enthusiastic about traveling when I was doing that.

[2284] I just wanted to, I was exhausted.

[2285] And then I was doing the store, too.

[2286] So I was mostly just working on my act and just doing stand -up.

[2287] And they supported him because he was the one who was making the money.

[2288] I mean, in fact, I left my agency because they wanted me to apologize to him.

[2289] And then Louis wound up leaving them, and Attal wound up leaving them, and Swartson wound up leaving them.

[2290] Everybody left them right after that because they found out that they wanted me to apologize to him.

[2291] Everybody in the industry knew what was going on But they wanted to turn a blind eye and make money So did it hurt my career?

[2292] Well, I stopped going to the store But that didn't hurt me as much as it hurt them It hurt the store because I told everybody And then that place was a ghost town I mean it went from being packed when I was there Because I would let them put my name up on the marquee And I was working for free That's how fucking stupid Tommy was That fucking dummy But then when he got fired And I came back, it made it all worth it.

[2293] You know, the whole thing was, it was interesting because it could show you that if there was someone who was doing what Mencia was doing, that you can get away with that.

[2294] And even with someone who was successful like me, like, I got another agent like that.

[2295] I mean, but my agent literally said, I was going to have to apologize to him.

[2296] I'm like, you're out of your fucking mind.

[2297] I go, listen, I'm not only am I not doing this.

[2298] We're never going to work this out.

[2299] I'll never work with you again because you're asking me. to apologize to someone who was literally a vampire, someone who's stealing from the work of other artists, it's all he does.

[2300] And you guys know it, and you guys are profiting off of this.

[2301] You're making a giant mistake, and I turned out it was correct.

[2302] But it was interesting, because even though it didn't hurt me financially, I got to see that they were trying to, because, you know, he wanted them, he wanted an apology.

[2303] And I was like, you're out of your fucking mind, I'm not apologizing to you.

[2304] And as it kept getting, people became more and more aware, other people started finding other bits that he had like the real thing that sunk him was cosby really funny now and think about it now but he had this like such obvious theft of a cosby bit he stole all the inflections and he switched it around a little bit but people who work with him are trying to tell him to stop doing that bit because it was a giant famous cosby bit and he just insisted that he's going to do it and when that bit got on youtube that and mexican folks finding out he wasn't really Mexican that was a fucking knife in the heart when they were like what like what when they found out what his real name was they're like you got to be fucking kidding me there was so much going on then though that was um you know he was really popular oh yeah he went from selling out these giant places and you know kicking ass all over the country and people knew him from the television show and they thought he was hilarious i guess that's kind of cool about stand -up is that of all the art forms stand -up has the most justice in it now it does.

[2305] Now it does, I guess.

[2306] There's a lot of people who made it through the net back in the day that were just criminals.

[2307] I guess it was harder to know back in.

[2308] There was no internet.

[2309] It was just sort of like word of mouth or you would hear stories.

[2310] We all know that there's parallel thinking and there's even cases where you forget you heard something.

[2311] I've done it.

[2312] Usually we hash it out like a comic or something would be like, okay, yeah, you could have it or like we're all pals.

[2313] Right.

[2314] And it's bound to happen.

[2315] It's going to happen.

[2316] You just have the conversation.

[2317] If you're a pro, you're like, all right, I don't need that bit.

[2318] It's okay.

[2319] Yeah, exactly.

[2320] And then there's also people that are like, you know, like you said that word and that's the word that's the word that I said.

[2321] say in my bit and you're like what like some people are hypersensitive it's almost like delusional yeah some people get delusional that's like I talk about being in a relationship so oh yeah you could stop doing that yeah appreciate it that's hilarious I broke up my girlfriend recently too so yeah I own that well especially things that are current events right if they're like something like I can't believe you're talking about Trump you know I do that whole Trump bit yeah like what are you crazy I've seen these conversations before yeah can you please not that guy's never going to live that down I'm telling you This is just brewing This is just starting He's never living that down That's one You know, I'll wreck your shit I'll throw you down and fly a stairs Yeah Was there stairs nearby Or would they have to go up then?

[2322] You have to go find some stairs You're not gonna like the trip down That's a weird thing to say to someone Throw you down and fly stairs It's like you want to hurt them But you want the gravity to do all the work Yeah that's true So it's not that tough It's lazy He has all that potential energy Once he gets up there And you just knock him over Right That's funny you're looking at Like an engineer Yeah Yeah, I've got to use it somehow.

[2323] My dad's so proud that I pulled that out of the bag.

[2324] Do you use your engineer training at all in your stand -up?

[2325] Is there anything you say?

[2326] No, I think one quality I can take away from all the engineering schooling.

[2327] Like, I'm not doing formulas and equations and all that, but I think it's just a manner of which I approach things and time management.

[2328] I'm wired a certain way where I can be studious on my own.

[2329] I don't.

[2330] I'm not like smoking weed on the couch and like I'm a muse or I'm a vessel gone to me. like I'm okay what do I want to do what are my goals for this year let's say how many tests do I have what I'm working on for this set so I'm just a little industrious it's taught me and also when it comes to bits like I see them in a certain way like the way I get the bits is very organic and that's what I like about it is that it's not clinical or anything it's just magical how I think of something and I'm grateful for that do you give yourself time to think do you like specifically do things like go on walks or anything where you not specifically but what I I found is one of my favorite things to do is to go to a diner, sit in a booth have breakfast, have coffee, and they keep on refilling it, and I'm on my phone and I'm on Twitter and Instagram, and my mind's just kind of, and I'm listening to music, I love music, so I'm just scouring Spotify and Hype Machine, just for new music.

[2331] Hype Machine, I don't know what that is.

[2332] So that's how I find music.

[2333] Like Hype Machine and also Spotify, hype machine is this blog aggregate.

[2334] So there's music blogs, right?

[2335] There's one called like Acidstag that I like a lot.

[2336] So you can follow a blog, and they'll post songs every day.

[2337] Maybe they'll post six songs a day.

[2338] This website, you can follow different blogs.

[2339] And it's like following someone on Instagram or something.

[2340] So you look at your feed, and you get to hear all the songs your favorite blogs have posted within the website.

[2341] And there's an app on your phone too.

[2342] And these are kind of underground songs.

[2343] These aren't top 40.

[2344] So it's a way to hear great music that you wouldn't hear on the radio.

[2345] And they're not any less great.

[2346] There's this whole subculture and genre of music.

[2347] that is magnificent, but it's not on top 40 so people don't really know about it.

[2348] So hype machine's a great way to get some cool tracks off the beaten path with Spotify.

[2349] That's cool.

[2350] I've never heard of that before.

[2351] That's interesting.

[2352] Hype machine.

[2353] So music plays a big part with my comedy.

[2354] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2355] Hype machine.

[2356] Yeah, I love hype machine.

[2357] Yeah, I love hype machine.

[2358] This is like their top 40, so even this is a little poppy for me. I'll have certain blogs.

[2359] I like finding.

[2360] Yeah, it's like.

[2361] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2362] I mean, for this type of music, yeah.

[2363] Whatever makes the popular list.

[2364] Durante?

[2365] Hold on.

[2366] Yeah, you're not going to know.

[2367] Scroll back up, please.

[2368] Durante Maya, that's poppy?

[2369] Who the fuck knows any of this music?

[2370] Oh, there's childish Gambino.

[2371] I know what that guy is.

[2372] If you're like a teen or early 20s, you'll know this stuff.

[2373] Really?

[2374] Yeah.

[2375] So I just love listening to music, drinking coffee, and on my phone, and I'll just get these ideas.

[2376] But also just living life, I'll be walking around and I'll get an idea, jot it down.

[2377] Well, you don't have a day job, which helps.

[2378] No. That really helps collect material.

[2379] Believe it or not.

[2380] Yeah.

[2381] I think comics have to be amused, and you have to be experiencing.

[2382] just life, life.

[2383] If you're working all the time, like...

[2384] It was harder when it's working at Boeing because I had that mental fatigue of just working on, you know, parts and all that and computational stuff.

[2385] So I'm not thinking about bits when I'm calculating.

[2386] Sitcoms suck it out of you too.

[2387] Believe it or not.

[2388] Because you think that, oh, it's just like, you know, I didn't really work on my act that much during the day anyway.

[2389] Now I have a job doing acting.

[2390] I'll probably get just as much material.

[2391] Uh -uh.

[2392] No. No, you won't.

[2393] You're going to be wrapped up in whatever the fuck you're doing.

[2394] And then when you go to do stand -up, you'd be like, oh yeah, time to do stand -up, now I'll think about it.

[2395] But you really need that time to be just free to think.

[2396] Yeah.

[2397] It's kind of crucial to the creative process.

[2398] I didn't think about that, but that's true.

[2399] Because those other jobs, you have mental focused.

[2400] You're not dedicating to writing bits.

[2401] Where I'm at a diner, and my mind's just floating around.

[2402] It seems like you're not working.

[2403] Like someone on the outside would be like, you're not even working.

[2404] I might come up with a gem that might be my next closing bit.

[2405] Yeah.

[2406] That is working.

[2407] Just randomly.

[2408] Yeah.

[2409] Because you gave yourself that time.

[2410] Yeah, like you just are watering the grass and a mushroom pops up.

[2411] Even with me, I think there was a big breakthrough in just accepting that I'm an artist because, you know, my parents didn't want me to do it for so long and it was this dirty thing.

[2412] And it was always...

[2413] Pimps and process.

[2414] He would go to the club.

[2415] So stand -up and comedy was, like, a vampire feeding.

[2416] It was just this thing that I do over here and I want to do it, but it was always different than what I'm supposed to be doing.

[2417] It was always on the side.

[2418] It was like a hobby.

[2419] Or I would, there was a division within my mind.

[2420] But once I left Boeing and I was doing it full time.

[2421] What was the impetus?

[2422] Like, how did you make the decision?

[2423] Ideally, I always had this pie in the sky scenario that would happen for me to leave Boeing.

[2424] I would think, all right, if I got to the point where I'm doing engineering and stand up, I want to get to a point where it's glaringly obvious that engineering is holding me back from this other path.

[2425] And I have to make the jump.

[2426] So I needed that to happen.

[2427] And then I think enough things happened Where I kind of had that situation I had I booked this acting thing I booked a role on Chuck NBC's Chuck I was still working at Boeing It was like this huge guest star I forgot about Chuck Yeah yeah yeah So I'll And I would do these things Towards the end of my tenure at Boeing I would have a manager And I would get auditions So I would duck out For lunch And I'm in Long Beach And I would drive up to Hollywood And do an audition Wow How long I'd be gone for That one I would like do a combo I'd say lunch and doctor's appointment And then I would do or I would take off I would come in early and leave early if I had to be very strategic about what audition I can't be because I have a day job so this one I went out for Chuck and then I auditioned and then I got it there was this huge guest star and I'm still working at Boeing and they need me for eight days I have a day job so I said I had a family emergency in Seattle I have to go back home and they're like oh okay but I was just in Burbank shooting Chuck so I'm just shooting and then I go back to work and people see you on TV No, luckily there was enough of a lead time where that wasn't coming out for a long time.

[2428] So you quit?

[2429] No, not yet.

[2430] So I just thought like, okay, cool.

[2431] Like, I still keep on, I can keep on being an engineer.

[2432] And then a couple things happened.

[2433] Did anybody notice you on chalk at work?

[2434] But the thing is, that happened when I left Boeing.

[2435] So it aired after I had left.

[2436] Oh, how much lead time was there?

[2437] Quite a bit.

[2438] Maybe like six months or it was towards the end.

[2439] And so no one knew I did stand up.

[2440] And the beauty of it was when I entered the workforce of engineering.

[2441] Everyone was substantially older than me. They were like in their 30s.

[2442] They don't know about hype machine.

[2443] Yeah, I don't know about hype machine.

[2444] So it wasn't second nature to be like, what's your MySpace?

[2445] Or, because Jig would have been up immediately.

[2446] So there was no, social media was not second nature with coworkers.

[2447] So there was a big enough generational gap.

[2448] So I was able for three years, just no one know anything.

[2449] So I do the Chuck thing.

[2450] And then I also, I got really far in standard.

[2451] NBC has the Standup for Diversity Initiative every year.

[2452] You do a stand -up competition thing from different cities, and then they have a final showcase.

[2453] So I got, like, second on that.

[2454] So I got some college gigs out of it.

[2455] I got quite a few college gigs.

[2456] And then I booked this show on MTV called Disaster Date, which was, like, boiling points for dating.

[2457] They had a cast, and I was one of the cast members, and you would just go on dates with friends.

[2458] And they would set up their friends with dates, and they would be like, this is the things that she hates, and you would just be the worst date ever.

[2459] And you see how long they last on the date.

[2460] So they needed me for eight months, or no, three months.

[2461] Fuck, what do I do?

[2462] Yeah, yeah, three months.

[2463] So this was kind of that situation where I'm like, fuck, all right.

[2464] I just did Chuck.

[2465] I have some college geeks lined up.

[2466] This MTV show needs me for three months.

[2467] I got to do this.

[2468] Oh, well, I didn't do that yet.

[2469] I tried to take a leave of absence because I planned on coming back.

[2470] I was like, can I need something came up?

[2471] Can I be gone for three months?

[2472] And they're like, no, you can't do that.

[2473] I'm like, um, are you sure?

[2474] I just kept on trying to finesse it and they wouldn't let me. And then I was reading about unemployment and stuff.

[2475] and I read that you couldn't quit you had to get fired yeah yeah so I'm like all right um here's what I'm gonna do so I wrote my last day there I wrote an email just like hey guys I'll be gone for this three months I plan on returning on this day and then I just went in communicato like I didn't pick up any phone calls if I was gonna get fired I wanted to get fired by them right because I didn't want them I didn't want to be on the books that I quit right for some reason my engineering brain is like this is great I'll get them on a technicality they'll fire me and I'll get my unemployment if I need to so I leave Boeing I'm shooting the show for three months and then eventually I get like a termination letter in the mail from Boeing and I'm like yes yes but then it turns out I mean I could have collected unemployment from the MTV show so I didn't even have to go out that way oh really yeah I mean it was fine like it wasn't yeah Ari used to collect unemployment for dude he was he was like my guiding light in that regard because early on especially when I left Boeing and the MTV thing comes and goes they do two seasons of it and then but that's not like a fucking it's not like a rock solid thing and Ari would show me the ropes he'd be like no use collect unemployment from an acting job you get an action job and you get unemployment that's how it works yeah he taught me how to do it I never heard of anybody getting unemployment from acting gigs yeah I would do a commercial that's how it's like because you pay into it and all that it's all on the up and up it's just part of an actor's um I guess requirement or necessity of an actor is being available yes so if you book a commercial like a Toyota commercial let's say you make 30 grand or 20 grand whatever in that chunk you've made enough money in that quarter to apply because you're paying into it with your thing you have to hit a certain amount and then you're eligible there's tears of how much money you get for unemployment then you're eligible for X amount of dollars every two weeks or whatever and that helped me keep a fault for like a year and then I got to the point where I didn't need it I had enough city work coming in but that was when did you tell your parents I thought that they would take it worse than they did but I think we had been at odds for so long that what I've noticed is you can't stay in an 11 your whole life Right Yeah so I think they had to know this day Was gonna come eventually Because I would talk about That was the plan the whole time I guess they just never thought That it would come to fruition Now when you quit How long did you wait Or when you got fired How long did you wait before you told them That you don't have a day job anymore Yeah it was around Christmas It was around the holidays So we were at my aunt's house And then I told them But it went over bed I thought.

[2476] Yeah, I was surprised.

[2477] Did you say all the good things you're getting?

[2478] Yeah, yeah, yeah, obviously.

[2479] Come on.

[2480] I'm not going to be like, I quit and I'm going to figure it out.

[2481] I'll figure it out.

[2482] But I like having...

[2483] Might come to you guys for money later.

[2484] But I'm really proud of that.

[2485] In this whole adventure, I've never asked my parents for money.

[2486] And I think that's a win.

[2487] Yes, that's a huge win.

[2488] That's a huge win.

[2489] Yeah, and I hope that they kind of noticed that through the tough times.

[2490] I never...

[2491] That's a sign it's going well.

[2492] They should figure that out.

[2493] That's a giant win.

[2494] Yeah.

[2495] But, I mean, I just want to tell people if they have a similar path, that you don't, there's this romanticized version of being an artist where you just pack up all your things coming to L .A. Yeah, man. And like, not got to be 100 % of my art. Yeah.

[2496] You can have a plan.

[2497] Do you want to set yourself up for success?

[2498] Or are you trying to...

[2499] Bro, are you an artist or you an engineer?

[2500] Got to choose.

[2501] Be both.

[2502] There's a lot of hours in the day.

[2503] Fuck that.

[2504] You're a prime example of that.

[2505] It's amazing all the things you do.

[2506] There are so many hours in a day and it's such a cop out to be like, I've got to be all in it I've got to live and breathe my art Otherwise I'm going to be a hack Now be methodical Set yourself up for success Well I think you have to be disciplined Disciplined for sure I think it's very important You can still be artistic and discipline Contrary to popular opinion You can Yeah And you have to be careful Not to lose yourself Once you come to L .A How many people do you know Who come out here With a particular plan To like be an artist or a writer And they're at fucking birthday parties every day Like when you come to L .A You can go to someone's birthday party At a bar every day Really?

[2507] Oh, yeah.

[2508] Yeah, there's so many.

[2509] It's everyone's birthday every, every day.

[2510] Dude, this town's so big.

[2511] Yeah, that's true.

[2512] So you get sucked up in the party life.

[2513] You'll see it too.

[2514] Some artists just go down this networking rabbit hole, and they have no tangible.

[2515] And they never want to do a bad show.

[2516] They just want to do the best shows.

[2517] And they don't just focus on getting good at stand -up comedy.

[2518] It's just, I'm going to this party, so -and -so's here.

[2519] And they have nothing.

[2520] Do you ever envision a time where one of us or maybe a collection of us writes down all these things and makes like some sort of a guide book to stand -up comedy.

[2521] I really think someone could benefit from it.

[2522] I mean, it really is the only art form that, as we were saying before, is a viable art form in large scale that doesn't have any...

[2523] Nothing.

[2524] I mean, every fucking book about comedy like how to do comedy is terrible.

[2525] It's the worst, yeah.

[2526] You know what's weird.

[2527] You know, it's scary.

[2528] There's all these formulas.

[2529] I think podcasting has taken some of the seek out of it.

[2530] Yes.

[2531] I think...

[2532] It's also created a bunch of fans of the process too.

[2533] Sure.

[2534] Like I've talked to people that have come up to me at the comedy store and said, hey, I saw you first do that bit a year ago and then I watched it change and then when it came on your Netflix special, I was like, holy shit.

[2535] Like, look at it.

[2536] It's kind of cool to see it bro and become viable.

[2537] Yeah, I think it's cool that there's an audience for that or that they value that because I think it's easy to assume the end consumer just wants to see the finished product.

[2538] Yeah.

[2539] But they're comedy fans they're so savvy now, they want to see that process.

[2540] And they feel like they're let in.

[2541] Like, oh, cool.

[2542] Like, it's not a magic trick anymore.

[2543] No, no, no, it's different.

[2544] Yeah, no, I agree.

[2545] Listen, man, I'm glad I got you in here.

[2546] Thanks for having me, my pleasure, brother.

[2547] My pleasure.

[2548] And it's always cool seeing you at the store, you're funny motherfucker.

[2549] And I wish you all the best.

[2550] So tell everybody your Instagram.

[2551] What is the...

[2552] It's Fahim Anwar.

[2553] So just my name.

[2554] Twitter same.

[2555] Fahim Anwar.

[2556] And then I'm a special on Amazon called There's No Business.

[2557] show business so people to watch that I did like two years ago.

[2558] Oh your specials on Amazon?

[2559] Yeah but it was acquired so it wasn't like an original.

[2560] I did for C -So.

[2561] Oh, that the day.

[2562] Everyone knew that was going down.

[2563] Yeah, yeah.

[2564] That's right.

[2565] Yeah.

[2566] All right, brother.

[2567] Thank you very much.

[2568] Yeah, of course.

[2569] Thank you too.

[2570] Bye everybody.