My Favorite Murder Presents: Lady to Lady - "A Lil' Spooky All the Time" ft. Karen Kilgariff

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Guys, today we're very excited to be sharing the network premiere episode of Lady to Lady, the newest podcast that we're adding to our Exactly Right family.

[2] Lady to Lady is hosted by three stand -up comics and real life best friends, Babs Gray, Tess Barker, and Brandy Posey.

[3] And each week, they invite a special guest to play sleepover games, answer advice, and delve into ridiculous tangents.

[4] Upcoming guests include Beth Stelling, Annalee, Ashford, and Sona Movesessian.

[5] The Exactly Right premiere episode features Karen Kilgara.

[6] New episodes are every Wednesday.

[7] Plus, they have 300 back episodes with tons of amazing artists.

[8] Enjoy the Exactly Right Network premiere episode here and then head over to Lady to Lady for a brand new episode out today.

[9] Subscribe to Lady to Lady on Stitcher, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.

[10] If you like what you'll hear, write the ladies a review.

[11] And follow them on Instagram at Lady to Lady Comedy on Twitter at Lady the number two Ladycom.

[12] and on Facebook at Lady, the word to lady comedy.

[13] Goodbye.

[14] I'm Babs Gray, and it's a good day when you find out it isn't your backstreet boy that's into Q &ON.

[15] I'm Brandy Posi, and I can assure you, these skeleton gloves are strictly professional.

[16] I'm Tess Barker, and if food is bad for you, it should taste good.

[17] And this is lady to lady.

[18] Can you keep a secret?

[19] Neither can we.

[20] A show for everyone That's the fucking best Come on baby It's time to hang out With your favorite ladies Ladies and lady Ladies and Lady Oh my gosh You guys We're here We did it Oh my god We made it through the road trip We got all the snacks We have arrived We are on exactly right Absolutely so excited The last episode of the podcast We did it We're at the very end We're all done We're doing one episode on Exactly Right, and that's in.

[21] We're so excited to be on the network, and we're so excited to have our first guest, co -host of the My Favorite Murder Podcast, Karen Kilgariv.

[22] Oh, hi, everybody.

[23] Those are the...

[24] Oh, my God, you guys shipped in children for me?

[25] Yeah, absolutely.

[26] Yeah, we have a tiny drawer of them.

[27] It's a subscription service.

[28] The cutest little children cheering for me. yeah we checked their uh we we did the COVID test up their noses before recording to every single time good and it's great because you're crying yeah you're just like got your nose and then that means you tested that you know their nasal cavity yeah if you took if you took their nose away could you get COVID you know what I think so yeah because all the um what do they call those things the uh droplets all the droplets would go further without yeah the nasal cavity we don't need A droplet talk.

[29] Just trying to figure it out.

[30] That's fair.

[31] That's valid.

[32] I'm not a scientist.

[33] We're getting to the bottom of it.

[34] Thanks for sitting through our theme song.

[35] We decided to bring back on Zoom.

[36] We're playing the theme songs in person again.

[37] And it's really fun because we're really just holding the guest hostage while they listen to bad songs that we've made.

[38] It's kind of, it's my favorite part of podcasting is when the guest doesn't know when to come in and makes weird noises or says one word.

[39] It fucks up the intro.

[40] I do it every time where I'm just like, wait you just said a thing I need to say the thing I don't care if anyone said my name before totally well and the songs on Zoom really add another special level because it's also us like all kind of dancing but not looking at the screen because it would be weird to make eye contact with you if we stare each other dead in the ice that'd be too silence of the lambs we're just like um mm -hmm dancing right into the camera I say that as a person who's been to both a silent disco and one of those like 7 a .m. dance parties that we went to so I actually can't believe I've only been to half of that with you.

[41] Randy's been to both.

[42] I've been to both because the silent disco was at a Taco Bell influencer house.

[43] What did it smell like there?

[44] You know.

[45] You know what it is the way.

[46] It smelled like, yeah, a combination of beef, cheese and, you know, lettuce in each room.

[47] And some kind of like geo for men.

[48] Like some kind of bad cologne.

[49] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[50] There was a Mountain Dew Blast cologne from them.

[51] Yeah.

[52] Oh, God.

[53] Oh, my gosh.

[54] A Baja blast.

[55] It's the only thing that takes me to Taco Bell.

[56] I love it.

[57] It's my favorite soda.

[58] It was like they rented this house in Silver Lake to like roll out the grillers.

[59] Remember the grillers?

[60] Are now off the menu.

[61] I just love the idea.

[62] You know that was like a two year project.

[63] There was a project manager about the grillers rollout.

[64] Like there were so many serious meetings, I'm sure, about this party.

[65] They had a meeting at Taco Bell where they were like, how can we compete with seven a, they've got those rollers we need to go up against the rollers we need a food that's circular and that can get stuck on some kind of round grill all day long but can have its like coagulated grease kind of showcase by the lighter above said rollers I mean that is the thing about 711 is I guess you don't get that as much because at other when you're going to fast food place it's all hidden back there but 711 they're like no we're displaying it yeah we want you to see every inch of this shiny hot dog.

[66] Look at what you're picking.

[67] Look at it.

[68] Frankly, I respect their transparency.

[69] I like to know that pizza has been there for hours.

[70] Thank you so much.

[71] I will still buy it anyway because I have depression.

[72] Thank you.

[73] I remember when I went to buy a pizza there once and the guy like didn't even tell me not to.

[74] He just did this little like shake of the head like he was.

[75] Almost like he knows the camera's on him and he can't say the words out.

[76] loud he's just like it was like someone had a gun to his back but he was just like don't do it don't do it what if he did you do it I did it of course you still did it she can't be told Barbara Gray cannot be told I can eat anything I am a garbage disposal I was like you think this is going to take me down absolutely not but what if he was trying to tell you he's the one he's like I keep rubbing that on the front of my pants like he's trying to tell you he's the one that's been there brakeer.

[77] Is it a clean uniform?

[78] Yeah.

[79] I really think he was trying to like be kind to me and be like as a person who's been here for the past six to eight hours.

[80] I don't think that you should do this.

[81] And I was just like, this is ageism.

[82] I will eat this pizza.

[83] I don't care how old it is.

[84] Honestly, frankly, I'm impressed that your 711 worker cared that much.

[85] Our 711, Tess and I live near each other.

[86] It changed over to new owners.

[87] about a year ago and now it's just run by apathetic teenagers are running ourselves and we used to have a great staff we used to have a really solid team over there and now that teens are on their phone they don't care I love it when like a big chain says under new management because you're like what what happened to work here it's a 7 -Eleven I don't come here for the customer service it's never been a part of it You make me serve myself in almost every capacity.

[88] Don't worry about the management.

[89] Yeah, you'll see those big banners outside one.

[90] It's like, all this happening before.

[91] Oh, God.

[92] I don't want to know.

[93] You're still not going to let me use the bathroom, right?

[94] So who cares?

[95] Exactly.

[96] Are you going to change the way you hand me back my change for my five Gatorade's three string cheeses in the candy bar?

[97] Like, whatever, okay?

[98] I will say, I've talked about this before, but I love 7 -Eleven.

[99] it's honestly one of my favorite stores period it makes me feel so safe like wherever you are in this great nation like if you can find a SEVE you're gonna be all right like it has what you it's like a first aid kit for America true yes yeah it's like if Starbucks went like did a lot of Molly is what 7 -Eleven is kind of what it feels like I mean I feel like 7 -Eleven's been around before Starbucks right oh yeah yeah yeah because we had a 7 -Eleven near my grammar school and we weren't it was a school rule you were not allowed to go to 7 -11 so I was just like breaking this rule in five four three and going in there was it was like because it was forbidden it was like every every sense was heightened and every like every item you had every item memorized what I love is since you know say I was in junior high they have really developed the jerky aisle and the jerky gummy aisle where that used to almost not exist.

[100] Like, maybe you got some at the end of the aisle as like the specialty, you know, slim gyms hanging down in a row.

[101] But now it's almost like they're trying to say, oh, for all of you vegans or all of you people that like care about your carbs, come around the corner from like all the different kinds of snickers and you can get, you know, I don't know, peanuts.

[102] Imagine.

[103] Like, do you like to chew but you're tired of gum?

[104] Well, have we got.

[105] Well, come to aisle three.

[106] I have to say, my boyfriend, I was talking to him about gummy candies and I was like, you know, peach gummies and he didn't know what they were.

[107] And it was like a weird moment.

[108] Where's he from?

[109] Yeah, where's he from?

[110] He's from upstate New York.

[111] Rochester, yeah.

[112] They for sure have peaches in Rochester.

[113] I know.

[114] It's weirded me. It was one of those things where you're like, did we grow up in like an alternate universe?

[115] How do you not know what peach gummies are?

[116] Do you prefer the O's or like the solid ones that are like little rocks you could skip across a pond?

[117] solid the solid ones taste a little better i like you know i grew up on oh this is some west coast east coast shit okay this is you know what it is there's a tactile i i do love both because peach is kind of my favorite gummy candy flavor the the harabo kind which are the solid ones are just like the first time i had that i was just like may i speak to the chef but but those rings it really it's like you're eating truly like you're eating plastic which is part of what I'm in it for in the whole gummy area because when I was sorry but when I was in sixth grade I got a Hello Kitty pen and pencil set with these erasers that smelled like fruit but it was like they smelled so good that I would just hold them under my nose like all day like the weirdest girl in class and my fantasy and then sometimes I would bite on them if nobody was around And my fantasy was, why doesn't Hello Kitty come out with the razors you can eat?

[118] And then truly, like, that year, gummy candy was shipped to America as like in 82, where I was like, oh, my God, my dreams.

[119] I'm manifesting.

[120] So I feel like gummy rings are really going into that area of like, you're probably not supposed to eat this, but you can.

[121] They feel very plastic, yeah.

[122] Very plastic.

[123] Just the flat part, you could at least kind of operate under the assumption that.

[124] it's a dried fruit, you know, a circular O that resembles a binder sticker, your brain has no, no illusions about it.

[125] Yeah, yeah, it has the mouth feel of a keychain.

[126] It's like Florida 86, but you're eating it.

[127] Yeah, exactly.

[128] Okay, while we're on the topic of this, in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate, in the Chocolate Factory, is that the name of the movie?

[129] I always, it's like Charlie, whatever, there's a few varieties.

[130] We know what you're talking about.

[131] The original movie.

[132] Yeah, yeah.

[133] Which, what did you guys want to eat the most?

[134] Like, what was your?

[135] Oh, the wallpaper.

[136] The wallpaper.

[137] But you only liked the wallpaper.

[138] So you just wanted to lick, taste the wallpaper?

[139] Yeah, well, I think it's kind of what you were talking about, Karen, of like I always, like, like, scratch and sniff stuff was like that for me. Like, I always wanted to eat my scratch and sniff markers and stuff like that.

[140] So to me, the wallpaper was like the closest, the closest thing to that.

[141] Yeah.

[142] That makes sense.

[143] I think I always, when he has that butter cup, when they're in the chocolate room, same.

[144] He drinks out of me. that he drinks it and then he bites it and then he bites it that's it's really good that was totally it for me barb too where the first time i saw him do that and the look on his face i was just like could you imagine if you could eat teacups like in the weirdest like as if that was what i'd been dreaming of all my life or just like you don't even drink tea what do you why are you this excited sometimes something just needs to click for you and you're like i didn't even know i wanted that yeah now that's all i want and now i buy things i don't want or need all the time Yeah.

[145] Hooray.

[146] Pure imagination.

[147] Yeah.

[148] The chocolate lazy river was like a constant thought in my head at all times.

[149] I was like, ooh, if I could just tube through that and just drink it whatever I wanted.

[150] I guess you could just be in a tube and then have like straws on either side.

[151] If you guys want to go in a river that looks like that, just go up to Central California.

[152] Very fair.

[153] Yeah.

[154] Stockton, Sacramento.

[155] They have a lot of rivers that look like that.

[156] I remember watching that though and being like when Augustus Glover, goes into that river and he's like splashing around and then get sucked in the tube i'm like that's not chocolate that's like it's very watery it's so watery that i was just like that's not even a good chocolate where it's like i i think just to abate my jealousy a little bit i was just like it's not what you're dreaming it is so don't be that jealous of a gust's gloop dying in chocolate right like i like the fact that that this kid ends up getting suctioned up into a tube and you still had to quell your jealousy i was just like Okay, this is another weird fantasy slash fetish I didn't know I had.

[157] Calm down.

[158] Calm down.

[159] I think that movie unlocked a lot for a lot of people.

[160] Oh, yeah.

[161] Can I just say, let's talk about every scene.

[162] But there was something that really happened to me when I saw the four grandparents in one bed.

[163] And I don't know, I don't know what if it was discussed.

[164] I don't know it like attraction repulsion I'm not sure but it was the funniest thing I'd ever seen it was also like please tell me what happened did it happen to all of them at once like was it a terrible car accident are they fucking lazy as hell like how are grandparents just laying in bed all day facing each other then it's like they're also married to each other but then in the same bed with another couple like everything about that was titillating horrifying like what this is a fantasy world that's gone wrong.

[165] You don't think about that often, but they were their in -laws.

[166] It was very kinky.

[167] It was.

[168] Yeah.

[169] It wasn't that big of a bed.

[170] I was just like, do they sleep?

[171] Is this just like a, they don't have a couch?

[172] Every, I had a thousand questions.

[173] I think it was just that that's all they could, that's all they could afford.

[174] But then there is a whole, there's a really like anti -grandpa Joe movement online.

[175] Because there is.

[176] There's a very, down a notch.

[177] was people have tried to cancel Grandpa Joe because when the damn you fucking assholes but no because when he like when Charlie shows up with the chocolates all of a sudden Joe can fucking walk for the first time in like 30 years everyone's like this guy could have worked fuck them they're making him and his mom work all the time in the meanwhile he could obviously get out of that bed anytime he wanted so it's a whole thing and also he's the one who like fucks up for them in the factory when he goes into the, you know, the birth thing.

[178] I'm sorry, I'm sorry Grandpa Joe is human.

[179] A. B, do you know anything about inspiration?

[180] Where if you have, if you're depressed and you have no inspiration, then suddenly an eight -year -old comes in and he's like, I want a fucking contest.

[181] You're like, oh my God, I'm digging it out of somewhere.

[182] Like, he's a human being, everybody.

[183] Exactly.

[184] That'll be like, oh, I'm going to, back in the before time, when I'd be like, I'm going to stay in tonight and just watch reality TV and then I find out about an event that has like open bar or free food suddenly guess who can get dressed guess who can dig it out yeah completely my biggest my biggest grandpa joe moment personally i can i can recall was i was about to show my boyfriend friday night lights like for the the first episode and then i got a text saying tommy was oh was at a party that was from me oh yeah oh yeah was texting me and Tommy was at a party and i had that moment where i was like i have to i have to grandpa joe right now like i can't sit that's what it is it's grandpa chowing oh i just to be totally honest like the reason this is making me laugh so hard is because for the past like eight years i've been grandma josephineing so hard where i'm just like nothing's getting me off this couch slash bed slash weird sex thing with these other old people i'm staying in good luck everybody i hope you love it because i'm staying We're all regressed into Josephine.

[185] That's where we all are now.

[186] And I will say, I mean, I feel like there were entire years in my 20s where my friends and I were smoking so much pot that we grandpa and grandma Joad by default on a couch.

[187] Yes.

[188] Like it was just a sectional that we just didn't leave and we would just dominoes would bring us what we needed.

[189] Right.

[190] I mean, that part of it is the fantasy part for me where it's just like, it would be just fun to lay in bed with your friends all day and just kind of let the world come to you if it chooses to.

[191] And then if not, you're just kind of in this little shitty house, you know, chatting about the old days or whatever.

[192] Like, I don't know.

[193] It didn't seem that bad.

[194] Can we get postmates on the line to do a commercial for them about this?

[195] Like, hey, what if Grandpa Joe, what if they didn't get the ticket?

[196] And they just ordered food until they died.

[197] You know that that is a video.

[198] Yeah, that's a commercial we're about to see for sure.

[199] Were they like somehow CGI them into something?

[200] They're like, who really won?

[201] Who really won that day?

[202] It's actually.

[203] George and grandma, Georgina.

[204] I mean, just to play devil's advocate, Grandpa Joe, he got up, he had to get dressed.

[205] That was like a long day at the factory.

[206] He had to deal with all those other asshole kids.

[207] The other three, they got to nap, eat soup, hang out.

[208] And you know they shared the money when they came home.

[209] Yeah, they had to.

[210] They still moved into the factory.

[211] Yeah, they didn't have to do anything.

[212] That's right.

[213] That thruple, they still earned it, which is super unfair, but, you know.

[214] life's not fair karen i would say this to the grandpa joe cancelers is that although he did touch the side the side of the the fizzy burping machine or whatever it's called and fuck things up he did stand up to willie wonka and like you know this is wrong of you i mean that is such a great speech in that movie and such a great performance and such a great moment of like to break a little boy's heart you know what i mean like he really did he grandpa jowed himself throughout that tour and throughout that whole day.

[215] It was pretty inspiring.

[216] Is Billy Wonka really?

[217] Is it Grandpa Joe's story?

[218] Have we just been looking at it from the wrong perspective?

[219] I think it's obviously Verucasol's story and it always has been.

[220] I'm going to be very candid.

[221] I'm going to be very candid.

[222] That is absolutely the character I relate to the most.

[223] Tess, that's the most obvious statement I've ever heard in my life.

[224] You've always been a Varucasol.

[225] Oh, like, yeah.

[226] I have no patience.

[227] I, yeah, I mean, and, you know, for the most part, it's worked out, like, pretty well.

[228] I don't, like, live in an era where I need to have a lot of patience.

[229] No. Quite the opposite.

[230] All right.

[231] We have to take a break, but should we tell Karen what the special thing that we did for joining?

[232] Oh, yes.

[233] Oh, yes.

[234] Before we got a break, we did, we found out that we could officially become ladies on the internet somehow.

[235] So.

[236] In what country?

[237] Scotland Scotland So we each Guess what website We found this on Karen Scotland dot com Goop It was a goop thing Oh shit Yeah We bought we bought ourselves Goop lady titles We each own three meters of land In Scotland And we were officially ladies Holy shit You guys are marketing geniuses We wanted to come Correct To exactly right Hell yeah You better come correct so yeah someday we will go there and do a show on those nine meters of land yeah we each stand on our own respective meter like stand on a chair and then someone gets on your shoulders and like exactly i clearly have no idea how big a meter is we're gonna find out we will find out how big our parts of land actually are okay good yeah we'll figure it out amazing congratulations all to all three of you ladies thank you so much thank you so much Karen Thank you so much.

[238] All right, guys.

[239] We'll take a break.

[240] Be our back.

[241] Hey, hey, everybody.

[242] Welcome back to Lady to Lady.

[243] I'm Brandy.

[244] I'm Babs.

[245] I'm Tess.

[246] And we're here with Karen Kilgarra.

[247] Hey.

[248] Oh.

[249] All right.

[250] Karen, this is very exciting.

[251] Because we've been doing the podcast for a very long time.

[252] And we do like a fun little game with our guest in the second segment.

[253] And we decided to unveil a brand new game for you.

[254] Oh, shit.

[255] this episode.

[256] Great.

[257] It's serious.

[258] New game, new theme song.

[259] Everybody, let's roll.

[260] Worldpreneur.

[261] Brup, bra, bra.

[262] Business.

[263] Business.

[264] Please be advised.

[265] Questions.

[266] Business questions.

[267] Are we moving the needle?

[268] We've got some business.

[269] Pull up a chair.

[270] Would you like some water?

[271] Business questions.

[272] Yeah.

[273] I don't know about that one.

[274] Don't doubt business questions, please.

[275] Thank you.

[276] Beautiful.

[277] I think it's a bop.

[278] I love like, Karen, you're like a legitimately really talented musician and we're like, you know, just a little something we put together.

[279] But you know, I have a song called Business Situation, so.

[280] Do you?

[281] Oh, my God.

[282] I'm right there with this whole theme.

[283] I'm about it.

[284] Okay, perfect.

[285] I think we sensed that.

[286] We were like, Karen, I'll be a good one to break the business.

[287] What if we had just completely ripped it off and you were like, what the fuck?

[288] You're doing like, Acapella four -part harmony where I'm like, this sounds familiar.

[289] I'm okay so yeah we have some business related you know slash interview questions just to get to know our guests a little bit better so how about you just you know how about you just tell us a little bit about yourself to start off great thanks so much for asking yeah first of I'm really I'm really happy to be here I'm glad we could all make this time work um let's see definitely went to grammar school and junior high um graduated and And then I went to high school, graduated, which really delightful experience, went to Sacramento State University, flunked out after a year and a half.

[290] Thank you.

[291] I was really proud of that.

[292] Parents felt good about it.

[293] I wasted tons of their money.

[294] I attempted to go to junior college after that many times and failed all of those times.

[295] And yeah, so then I basically kind of, I knew it was a perfect fit to not go to school.

[296] more for me. And so what better way to celebrate my total inertia and laziness, but to start stand -up comedy?

[297] So I did that.

[298] And, you know, through a series of amazing events and happenstances, I got myself into the position of being a professional podcaster.

[299] So, you know, there's some stories in between, but we only have, what, three more hours in this interview.

[300] so I think that you can save them for the second round okay great very impressive if she gets through if she gets through yeah well yeah yeah um tell me your biggest weakness I guess my biggest weakness is how strong I am um the strength yeah wow I've never heard that answer before that's amazing wow I know we like what kind of strength because I think I I can like squat you know a decent amount of pounds but like what kind of strength I hate that word because it describes it perfectly squat it's so dead on and it's onomatopoeia my strength comes in sheer volume of my voice um which is I'm starting to learn over the years not in my control um so I think that's great if if um like I'm ever lost in a parking structure that I can solve that really quickly um and then Did you see this fucking mosquito?

[301] Oh, no. Oh, no. I didn't get it.

[302] Other than that, I think, yeah, just kind of my dedication to never changing my mind or listening to others, I think is really the shape of my strength, I would say.

[303] It is like, you know, as a fellow loud person, big voice person, it's a, it.

[304] is a weird moment where I think that thing about yourself where as I get older where I'm like, oh, these are just things about myself that I know might be annoying to other people and I just have to be okay with because this is not.

[305] Yeah.

[306] This is who I am.

[307] Because you can't help it if you were just born a bit much.

[308] Thank you.

[309] Thank you.

[310] That's you.

[311] Lady Gaga song.

[312] We're not saying that about you.

[313] We're talking about ourselves.

[314] Born a bit much.

[315] I was born a bit much.

[316] Five, six, seven, eight.

[317] And a one, a two, one, a three.

[318] You know what's funny is I remember being somewhere and everybody, it was a job or some kind of thing where everybody else was very soft spoken.

[319] And I don't know why I was fucking there, but I was trying to.

[320] And I remember it dawned on me and I was probably like in my mid to late 30s that there were people who weren't raised with people in their house yelling from four rooms away.

[321] Like there was never not somebody.

[322] My dad was constantly like, turn off the bathroom light.

[323] like there was always that vault like regular i've told this story a ton of times but my dad used to answer the phone and when it would be for me i'd be like hello and my friend would be like oh sorry are you in trouble and i'd be like no what are you talking about it's just that my dad's like hello hold on a second he's always yelling always so it took me a long time to realize that like as that my loud girl status although there were times where i was like i wish i was shy or whatever and then it just kind of like, sorry, it's like the way I was raised.

[324] It feels necessary to me. Yeah.

[325] I've an interesting combination of both because my house was like a quiet house growing up, but my best friend across the street was a loud house.

[326] Like everyone yelled in her home.

[327] So whenever I'd go to her home, it was like a yelling home.

[328] And then I'd come back to mine and it was like quiet.

[329] All the lights are off and it's dark.

[330] Like nobody's here home.

[331] That's why you can go adapt to any situation, Brandy.

[332] I'm a chameleon.

[333] I don't know who I am.

[334] that's why if like everybody anybody gets in fights if I yell it was very normal in my family because my there's a lot of bullshit going on yeah so like I'm like oh this is just something we come back from but that's not how everyone acts you know so I didn't I don't know that and I'm like for me this is just normal but yeah I also on top of that like I'm half deaf so there's that kidding and then also like my siblings and I are essentially a pack of hyenas Like, we all have the same laugh and the same exact sense of humor.

[335] So when we laugh, it just becomes this chorus of jackals and we all just escalate each other.

[336] And I take that out to the real world with me. That's just how I operate.

[337] Love it.

[338] And you don't adjust it.

[339] I mean, that is one of my first, when I think back to the time where you guys asked me to do the Lady to Lady Live show, which is when I very first started doing stand -up again.

[340] And I was like, well, this is exciting.

[341] Like a live podcast.

[342] I had no idea what was going on or who you guys were or whatever.

[343] and like I first of all when I first met you I was just like mm -hmm cool girls okay good thank God like whatever but then one of the first funny things that happened on stage and test started laughing and I was just like holy shit it was my favorite because you don't the fact that you don't try to change it at all is my favorite thing you're just like no this is what you're getting the end yeah yeah I don't care if it's the senior citizen talent show like I'm tap dancing and I'm bringing jazz hands in there will be more choreos.

[344] Hell yes.

[345] Thank you.

[346] What was that show?

[347] Was that San Francisco or was that something?

[348] No. Was that not sketch fest?

[349] Maybe it wasn't.

[350] I thought the first one I did was at that like Wolfpack theater, whatever that one was.

[351] Oh, that's what it was.

[352] It was.

[353] And then you did that one, the other one later.

[354] Yeah, yeah.

[355] And Joe Wenger came on and did characters and there was all kinds of shit going on where I was just like, yeah.

[356] Guys, I'm back.

[357] Guys, comedy.

[358] Comedy friends.

[359] comedy feelings yeah that was a good that was a good time yeah yeah well it was now I'm sad Karen can we let's get back to the interview good I agree no it's great it's really great getting to know you like this but what kind of work environment do you like best I guess a cave um oh that sounds nice do you like a little cavernous face i i do like um you know what's funny if i'm actually really working and when i think of that it's usually writing or something laptop based where i'm just kind of like focused in my favorite thing is i know that i'm kind of like in the flow please forgive me for using that term but like i'm in it when the everything like all the lights go down.

[360] The sun goes down.

[361] Everything gets dark and I'm just like in the computer.

[362] That's my favorite feeling of like actual kind of creative, like the creative thing is happening.

[363] And I'm in that trance and I don't really know how much time has passed.

[364] So yeah, I think if it's small and warm and there's like some carpet and it's not too, like I cannot stand fluorescent lights.

[365] I make me ill. So yeah, I think like warmth, earth tones are nice.

[366] small kind of smallness is nice and and uh and i do like quiet for being a loud person you know there's there's so many contradictions in me um which i think is one of the more fascinating things about me i'm still doing the character still try to do the character no we're coming in and out it's perfect do you not do you write with silence or do you write with like white noise or classical music or something sometimes i do classical music but then if you get like I'll try to do some kind of like a, you know, sleepy time playlist type of thing.

[367] Because if you get into the wrong classical music, it's like, suddenly you're like, oh, I better turn this in.

[368] I'm like, you realize you're panicking because you're just acting along to the soundtrack in your head.

[369] So I try to do, like the other day I had something to do.

[370] And I found a spa playlist on Apple music.

[371] And it was hilarious because there was no, it was like that, you know, those kind of weird, it sounds like just general keyboard noises where it's like, um, whatever, where there's nothing to focus on or distract you, but it's kind of definitely filling the space.

[372] So things like that, but, yeah, that or just nothing.

[373] I have to have that too.

[374] I can't, like, I can have, like, some shitty TV going on in the background, but I cannot like.

[375] Really?

[376] When you're writing, you can have TV on?

[377] Not writing, no. If I'm doing graphics work and stuff like that.

[378] No, writing is for sure.

[379] I can't have any other words, like, around me. Yeah, same.

[380] Yeah, yeah.

[381] I think in a perfect world, I'd have a, theremin player that just played.

[382] But that's just for all your Halloween scripts.

[383] Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[384] I'm just a little spooky all the time.

[385] This is Gustav, my theremin player.

[386] That's good.

[387] If you're just playing Halloween haunted house noises.

[388] Just my favorite just dramed and stuff.

[389] Can I recommend to you guys?

[390] I have this app called Omrider.

[391] This is like a legit recommendation.

[392] It's like four or five bucks, but it plays like pretty music and it takes up your full screen with your word processor so you can't see anything else and the sexiest part about it is when you type it makes like an exaggerating typey sound it's so nice it does sound it does sound the music with it it sounds like something yeah you'd like hearing because it does have that kind of like it's kind of like flowy like womb noise or whatever yes almost like if it's filling up um it like the feeling of you having your ears filled up so then you're not it just like you're it's the opposite of a TV on where you'd be distracted and start concentrating on something else.

[393] It's like you can't concentrate on anything else.

[394] I love that feeling.

[395] Exactly.

[396] Yeah, it's like putting like one of those dog cones around your brain.

[397] Elm writer.

[398] Okay.

[399] I like it.

[400] I started getting into, I mean, getting into, I went to like one sound bath or whatever before all this shit happened.

[401] Love a sound bath.

[402] They're so good for that.

[403] And I'm going to Joshua Tree in a few weeks.

[404] And I was like, man, I would love to do that, but COVID is too crazy.

[405] So I'm like, at that point where it's like, all right, you're going to invest to a crystal bowl or like, what's about to happen?

[406] Wait, Barb, will you explain to me what a sound bath is just because I'm not totally positive?

[407] So it sounds like something you, like it's in a lot of those spot playlists and stuff, but it's like a crystal bowl that they kind of, I don't know what they're using to make the sound, but they do move something around it, various ones, and they all have different tones.

[408] And they do, they kind of fill up the room.

[409] But if you're in person, it like makes your body vibrate.

[410] It's really crazy.

[411] It kind of sounds like if a wind chime was really high.

[412] on drugs?

[413] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[414] That really like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, sound kind of.

[415] Okay.

[416] I think I like, but like, this is really like hippy -dippy, but like you can do, you can like YouTube sound bass and those are cool too, but like when you do them in person, you can feel the vibration of the sound in your body.

[417] Ooh.

[418] Yeah.

[419] It's cool.

[420] The last time I did it really felt like I was like floating afterwards.

[421] It was pretty crazy.

[422] That's very cool.

[423] I went to one in Vegas like two years ago because I was performing at punk rock bowling um and like i was there for four days and it was just like a festival all day festival thing and like the third day i woke up and i was like i need to be in a quiet place that isn't in the sun and then i found like a weird way way way way way off strip like hippie shop that was doing sound baths that day and then i just like took a nap underneath of a brass pyramid oh my god that's a perfect Vegas like fix okay it it's everybody say what's your favorite public nap you've ever taken.

[424] This is an interview question, Karen.

[425] Okay.

[426] I did fall asleep in a bowling alley once and that felt good.

[427] That's very loud.

[428] That's like you being an infant where like loud noises actually make you fall asleep.

[429] They kind of do.

[430] I can definitely like I can go out hard if I need to.

[431] Why did you fall asleep in a bowling alley?

[432] I don't remember.

[433] I just remember the sensation of being like, this is weird and falling asleep.

[434] This is weird.

[435] I'm leaving.

[436] and they just put your head down.

[437] I have zero other context than I know it was had a point out.

[438] God, I'm trying to think, because I also, I'm the same way where I can, I can sleep whenever I want.

[439] And if I'm tired, I just go to sleep.

[440] And I kind of don't have a ton of control over it.

[441] It's like, uh -oh.

[442] So I've definitely slept in, like, I've slept through so many, like, movies at the new art kind of thing.

[443] I'm just like, well, I wish I was smart and have to, you know, like that kind of done that a lot.

[444] God.

[445] I mean, beach nap is for sure.

[446] I think my favorite.

[447] Oh, a beach nap is my favorite nap all the time is a beach nap.

[448] Except for I very much fear sunburn.

[449] And that is like within 20 minutes, I will be like, have to be rushed to the hospital for melanoma.

[450] Yeah, yeah.

[451] You just got to get a pop -up thing.

[452] you got to get a little shade true okay that's solved um now you're gonna get the job instead of me because that was such a good idea i think that the one that i enjoy the most is when you fall asleep during a massage oh yeah that's the greatest like you get past the point where like oh i'm so sore or whatever my the reason was that i booked this massage and then you get to the point where you kind of like it's the person putting their hand on your back and going like okay that's it you can get dressed and you're like what that hasn't been like that's my favorite because you know then you're then I actually relaxed exactly yeah I've scheduled some relaxation and actually done it yeah I did a float tank once and I don't know if I fell asleep or not but I also don't know if I was awake well you've you officially lost time I think you got abducted yeah that's the goal where that's the goal did you have your wallet at the end?

[453] There was nothing in it, so.

[454] You spent it all in the float tank.

[455] Yeah, basically.

[456] I don't know if this is my favorite public now, but it's my most memorable.

[457] When I was in high school, I used to take classes at the junior college, like after school and in the summer and stuff.

[458] And I was so tired studying for finals that I fell asleep on, you know, whatever piece of grass, the quad or whatever.

[459] And I woke up because that junior college was in doing a production of the crucible.

[460] and several and several several cast members were dressed as pilgrims in the quad to like promote the show so I like woke up in the middle of the sunlight in public to a bunch of pilgrims swarming around me totally did you think you time traveled for like half a second we were like oh shit it was so disorienting because I already was like sleeping and sunlight and then to have pilgrims in the mix it was a lot one year uh we went to Disneyland for like senior all night Disneyland bullshit that I don't I already don't like most of what I just was talking about and it was like you get there at 11 and you and you leave at six in the morning or some insane shit like that yeah we did that too yeah uh grad night I guess or whatever they call it.

[461] Yeah.

[462] And at around like 1 .30 a .m. I was just like, well, I'm going to sleep on this bench because I'm not like we've walked all around.

[463] I've already been here several times.

[464] Like this isn't new or fresh.

[465] All these like packs of seniors are walking around.

[466] Like I don't know if people were expected to like socialize.

[467] I don't know what the fucking point was.

[468] But I was just like, this sucks.

[469] And I laid down and went to sleep.

[470] And I remember there was a couple of people and walk by, be like, oh, that's really fun.

[471] Where I'd be like, compared to, I'm not going to pretend like I like big mice.

[472] Like, what are you talking about?

[473] This is stupid.

[474] As someone who went to that same, I went to that same grad night at Disneyland, and here's what you did wrong.

[475] Here's what you didn't do.

[476] Drugs.

[477] Cocaine.

[478] Because, yeah.

[479] Because I did ecstasy that night, and it was truly one of the happiest nights of my life.

[480] Like, there's nothing like being on hard drugs on the Peter Panwright.

[481] Nothing like.

[482] Oh, shit, that would be amazing.

[483] Yeah.

[484] I just took it at face value like a goddamn idiot.

[485] But the good thing about that is I am in an interview right now and I don't do drugs.

[486] Oh, that's a great point.

[487] Hey, tell us what you know what you didn't do.

[488] Wait, we're talking about the float tank.

[489] Did we ever talk about that update we got from the girl who runs one or not?

[490] Oh, no, we didn't.

[491] We should, we should, where is that?

[492] Let me find it real quick.

[493] Let me find it real quick.

[494] Is it bad news about float?

[495] We had been wondering about if a guy jizzes in the float tank, if they can tell.

[496] We had a little inquiry.

[497] Not in the white ones.

[498] But there is someone who runs them somewhere, and she had let us know.

[499] I mean, they must drain them, right?

[500] At least to clean them.

[501] They have to.

[502] No, they do, but she said it's very obvious, basically, when it happens and that, uh, yeah, it's a different, It's like an oil and water.

[503] Yeah.

[504] Not to put too fine of a point on it.

[505] She basically said, yeah, it's very easy to tell.

[506] Oh, yeah.

[507] Here it is.

[508] Okay.

[509] Hi, love y 'all, but couldn't help mention I own a float tank in Louisville, Kentucky.

[510] Weightless K .Y. In case you lives live in Louisville.

[511] Fun float tank.

[512] Float tank.

[513] Jizz is not water soluble, so it's easy to spot.

[514] Dudes who decide to ignore our liability waiver and $500 cleaning fee are immediately shamed, tarred, and feathered on the way out the door.

[515] Nice.

[516] Come to Louisville and we'll give you the VIP treatment.

[517] So we just said, we solved that problem.

[518] Now we know.

[519] Yeah, so you don't have to worry about that.

[520] Yeah.

[521] So I'd say we can put a pin in that for later.

[522] Yeah, we'll hit up that float tank when we're allowed to.

[523] Yeah.

[524] Okay, okay.

[525] Last question.

[526] You know, we always like to end with this.

[527] Just, yeah, what, what questions?

[528] do you have for us oh yeah um first of all what's your pension plan look like oh oh we give out free pens and that's it yeah so this is a pun -based company okay well that's a huge bummer for me yeah i mean it's the gig economy um yeah okay pension plan here's our pension plan it was bad it was bad I will say what's his fuck oh my god what's his fucking name he's a singer Eddie rabbit whatever he has you all guys all said someone different he has that song 24 carrot what the fuck Kanye West Bruno Mars Bruno Mars.

[529] Thank you.

[530] He has a really bad pun in one of his songs where he says like, why don't you come to the penthouse?

[531] That's where I keep my pens.

[532] So I'm just saying, wasn't as bad as that.

[533] You stole the joke from.

[534] You stole from Bruno Mars?

[535] And it was worse.

[536] And it took me too long to figure out who he was.

[537] So it really does.

[538] We're going to figure out Barbara's punishment.

[539] We'll be right back.

[540] Hey, everybody.

[541] We're back on Lady to Lady and Babs.

[542] I'm Brandy.

[543] I'm Tess.

[544] And we're here with Karen.

[545] Hi.

[546] Hey.

[547] Okay.

[548] We're going to do a lady problem.

[549] Let's do the theme song and then we're actually going to do one.

[550] Oh, we've got like three different themes to play now, I'm realizing.

[551] Wow.

[552] Theme train.

[553] Let's do it.

[554] Lady.

[555] Lady problems.

[556] Yeah, that's pretty much it.

[557] We pretty much say the words over and over again.

[558] Church.

[559] So you have them.

[560] Lady Problems.

[561] Love it.

[562] People have them.

[563] It's like a horror movie.

[564] People have them.

[565] So we started doing voice mail.

[566] You know, we're doing some from voicemails now.

[567] And this is our very first one from voicemail.

[568] I'm going to, let me, oh, it won't let me do it because it's too long.

[569] Hold on.

[570] Let me paste it in the chat, too, because it's kind of a long one to like listen to.

[571] Sweet.

[572] Yeah.

[573] And if you want to email us, Lady Problems, you can email anything to us at lady to lady comedy at gmail .com.

[574] If you want to give us a call, just so you guys know, here's the number.

[575] Three, two, three, six but 30.

[576] It's six but 30 somewhere.

[577] That is three, two, three, six but 30.

[578] Give us a call.

[579] It's the first time I've heard it.

[580] The six but 30 B -U -T -T -T.

[581] B -T -T -T.

[582] So six B -U -T -T -3 -0.

[583] It's our phone number.

[584] well done thank you pretty happy about that yeah everybody if you're listening pop it in your phone hey just send us a voicemail whenever you're out and something crazy happens yeah it doesn't have to be a lady problem could also just be like a check -in whatever you want we're going to be using the third segment to kind of you know play those and all that stuff so yeah here we go hi ladies morinino friend of the pod here calling with i don't know if it's a problem or nightmare or what But I got caught creeping on someone's LinkedIn.

[585] I got rejected by duty, I'd never met, just passively swiping in quarantine.

[586] But it took it harder than I should have.

[587] It was just looking for clues on his Instagram of, like, why I shouldn't put him on a pedestal, which was what I was doing when he rejected me. And I quickly found a very prominently featured ex -girlfriend who was tagged, who had a public profile on Instagram.

[588] and you could see very easily without during a deep dive that they like pretty much everything each other posted recently which is a lot for exes who are even friends in my opinion and it helped me spend this narrative of like he's not available this wasn't a thing you're fine kind of thing but all of her pictures are of her Lamborghini and all of his pictures of her tag were like her face was like weirdly obscured like a child of a celebrity, it was very strange.

[589] So I get in this rabbit hole, like, what does she look like?

[590] And I go to his Facebook profile because I don't have her full name.

[591] And she's tagged in a profile picture, pretty not far back again, not a deep dive.

[592] I go to her profile, moral abradoodle.

[593] But I have her name, I Google it, I go to images, I click her on my headshot, for LinkedIn.

[594] I see what she looks like.

[595] It's fine.

[596] She's attractive.

[597] They don't look like she's got my evil twin.

[598] I can move on with my life.

[599] And I don't feel good about this.

[600] But as the object of me getting caught, I feel like her swim.

[601] And then I get caught.

[602] He texts me the next day before coffee with a screenshot of her texting him, me looking at her profile and he's like is this something I need to worry about she's been stuck before and I apologize and own up to it but like how did she know without creeping on me too and noticing that I followed him for a week and liked a few things I'm pretty sure she's just as guilty as me right and also like how do you guys come back from something like this because this whole thing just really rocked my sense of self and was just like a huge shit show.

[603] Like, is this me?

[604] Is this just a lesson of not creeping?

[605] How would you guys take all of this?

[606] Because I don't know.

[607] Thank you.

[608] Love you guys.

[609] Oh, my God.

[610] The roller coaster of emotions that this took me on.

[611] My upper back is so clenched right now for the stress of what she went through and put herself through.

[612] Who?

[613] Because you just never think you're going to get caught doing something like that.

[614] Like, we've all take, I've gone down so many rabber, ravernet holes.

[615] That's what it is.

[616] It's a robbernet hole.

[617] It is a robbernet hole at the end of the day.

[618] Yeah.

[619] And it's, you know, that's what you do.

[620] It's fucking, it's easy.

[621] It's accessible.

[622] It's there.

[623] And you don't think you're going to text it a screenshot that you looked at someone's LinkedIn account.

[624] That's the part that I get like a visceral pit in my stomach is when she got the text.

[625] Oh, yeah.

[626] The screenshot.

[627] But can somebody clarify, this was a guy she was about to go meet for coffee.

[628] It was someone she was kind of starting to see a tiny bit and this was his ex.

[629] So she was just going like, oh, is this something I have to worry about and having a private, you know, stalker area?

[630] But just in a kind of like, or was it always already over with this guy?

[631] It was already over.

[632] She had been like seeing this guy for a couple weeks, nothing major broke it off.

[633] and then in my opinion she was well within the normal stalking time period yes for sure especially after a breakup or after a kind of this isn't working out right yeah like she said she still liked him she had put him on a pestle and it's kind of she was like looking through his stuff and I think that's normal to see this and then especially if she saw oh they've interacted a bunch like I shouldn't you know who is this person yeah yeah I don't think it's that weird yeah here's my question so I don't understand how so LinkedIn will show you who looks at your profile yes yeah ooh that's that is a good fact for everyone to know and I think I feel so bad that Lauren went through this but I think it's important that this information is out there for everyone entirely but you have to have LinkedIn pro to see it right or can you see anybody who looks at your profile I think you can see any I think you get sent a notification when someone looks at your profile on plain old LinkedIn because I remember doing it after I did a show one time and one of the producers of the show, I just was like, oh, I wonder what else that guy's worked on.

[634] And then did it.

[635] And then like a day later, someone was like, oh, yeah, they get notifications.

[636] And I was just like, ooh, And it was like, I've never even gone near LinkedIn again.

[637] Because it is the, it's that first of all, social media was invented so we can all stalk each other.

[638] That we know that.

[639] So even acting like, is it me?

[640] Am I weird?

[641] No, it's the only reason people are on social media.

[642] married 80 years old doesn't matter everyone's stalking everybody that's what you're there for it's just not fair because linked in it's like it's like going it's like as though you're being told someone's looking your i'm db page it's it's a fucking what's natural service what's the purpose of that just to be like oh they looked at me so i should follow up with them yeah that's what's creepy about it is it's like what are you gonna it's like a creepy guy finding a like seeing a girl on tinder and then finding her instagram you don't want them messaging you there you don't want to be like hey i saw you looking at me can i have a job that's right oh god imagine it's it's it was clearly set up by someone who maybe is on the spectrum a tad or doesn't get interacting in a way where it's like no no one would want that to happen so you should that should not be a feature that should be a bug and you should fix it and get rid of it but and also you should absolutely warn people that this is going to happen because it would keep people from just casually going oh, where's that one guy that was in my French class in the high school?

[643] I wonder what he's doing for a living these days.

[644] Totally.

[645] Which, like, it's a pandemic.

[646] We've looked at all the French guys in high school.

[647] Yeah.

[648] And also, like, at that point, the internet puts you in kind of a fugue state.

[649] So you don't even realize until after you're already on high school French guys page how you got there.

[650] It's like how sometimes you don't remember driving home from places.

[651] It's like you're in a, yeah.

[652] It's true.

[653] That's really true.

[654] Well, and also sometimes if you have like an inquisitive mind.

[655] to sometimes I'll see how far down the hole I can get, not to do anything, but just to like, it's exciting just to be a little tiny PI and just be like, ooh, look how resourceful and like out of the box I'm thinking right now and finding all this stuff.

[656] Like, I don't know, it's just kind of a fun game.

[657] Yeah.

[658] It's kind of just satisfying whatever curiosity comes up as you are sitting around also watching a Netflix series, also doing this, also doing that.

[659] But I think the extreme shame piece, which I'm totally relating to, is that I do.

[660] I do.

[661] that someone said no thanks not interested and then she got caught continuing to be interested which no one wants to be no one wants to be revealed as having been but guess what it's what it's the truth like if you're the breakup e then oftentimes you're left with this leftover oh but I was kind of still interested in this I I think we should circle around though to talk about who in the fuck sees somebody checking their LinkedIn and and then is sending a picture to her ex to be like, Thank you.

[662] Can you get this girl away from me?

[663] Where it's like, you know what?

[664] You guys need to go off together to a sandals resort.

[665] You, him and your Labradoodle need to take.

[666] Go fucking, yeah, have a giant family of Labradoodles and Barbados or some shit.

[667] We don't need you here.

[668] And we certainly don't need you on LinkedIn.

[669] And yeah, Because I feel like that woman really violated like girl code.

[670] You know what I mean?

[671] Absolutely.

[672] She obviously surmises that was going on.

[673] It was over between her and this, between Lauren and this guy so like why even send the even if you saw that no need to send that screenshot also if I were Lauren I would text back it's not a problem on my end but it looks like you're about to get back together with a total fucking psycho enjoy your life enjoy I think this is what she should do she should just be like actually I was interested in hiring her for this position at just saying you were using it for professional purposes I have some pens that she could have made a nice retirement with.

[674] Yeah, exactly.

[675] Do you see this ballpoint?

[676] I think she would be interested.

[677] Thank you.

[678] She no longer is qualified for this pen.

[679] And I remember her.

[680] So I'm looking at it.

[681] So you have to pay, you do have to pay to see who's seen you.

[682] And you have to pay to not let, to lurk other people privately and to line and see that and to see who's been looking at you.

[683] No. So it's obviously just them trying to get paid for shit.

[684] Yeah.

[685] Yeah.

[686] I don't like any of this.

[687] Oh, are you telling me that LinkedIn is blackmailing us?

[688] Yeah.

[689] Just for having feelings and interests in others.

[690] It's no good.

[691] I've been, I don't know why, but this newest phase of quarantine has made me very oddly obsessed like hour to hour with my horoscope.

[692] Like, in a way where I feel like I need to keep on checking it.

[693] Well, what about nighttime of this day?

[694] It's very strange.

[695] But one of the things that I've picked up on that other people say that I absolutely love is that rejection is your protection.

[696] Have you heard people say that?

[697] No, but I like that.

[698] It's like this idea that like don't get too caught up in this, you know, it's very easy to go in microscopically and be like, what did you say?

[699] What did he do?

[700] Where's the text?

[701] Did it do?

[702] These mistakes or whatever.

[703] Overall, my, uh, my words to Lauren would just be.

[704] pull back a little bit and know that this guy, like, you can judge him based on his exes.

[705] She seems crazy.

[706] He's probably way crazier than you even know.

[707] And this whole event, yes, you got your hand burned on this stove, but you never wanted to be anywhere near this stove in the first place.

[708] It's a really bad stove.

[709] Yeah.

[710] Get out of the kitchen, Lauren.

[711] Get out of the kitchen.

[712] No, not where your place is.

[713] Yeah.

[714] I mean, that's like her, definitely her stirring.

[715] some shit for sure.

[716] Like, it's one thing if she pops up like five or six times, but like a one -time look is normal for anybody.

[717] And also, again, that means that she was also looking at Lauren's shit.

[718] So, yeah, entirely.

[719] She's, yeah.

[720] Who is hunting and who is the, who's the hunted?

[721] Lauren's not hiding behind any fucking Labradoodles, all right?

[722] So, yeah.

[723] She, her face is on full display.

[724] So, yeah, exactly.

[725] Can we, I just want to shout out to the detail of saying that a whole of her pictures were weirdly obscured like the child of a celebrity is a perfect detail that we all got and just kudos Lauren you're gonna do great that was because it was beautiful I really love the idea that you guys are doing voicemails because it's one thing to read an email but when someone gets to talk about their shame or their whatever in their own voice I just love it and it makes me empathize so much more we've all been there humiliating yourself faving something that's eight years old on Twitter doing that deep dive shit everything just welcome to the brotherhood of man because everyone's done it and everyone has done it very badly well i'll just i'll get into my i did it very recently i'm just going to say yeah you had an incident recently i had an incident i had an incident i had to um reply i had to give some like criticism that made me feel a little weird to give because it was one of those things where i felt like i should i've been sent something i need to give feedback on but it was so bad what was sent to me I was like are you fucking kidding me like why don't even have to comment on this so anyway I had to like figure out how to say it as nicely as I could right so I wrote the email like five times and was like ha and kept going back okay I'll wait over the weekend all right I'll send it and and then I sent it and then you know of course you go back a few minutes later and you read it and I read it and I read it and I was like okay I think it did pretty good and then I'd paste it some images and then below those images was my old my old draft the last more harsh version of the email was underneath yep I've done this I've done this you have yes the first and last time I wrote an email to someone that was like a fighting email where it was like somebody did something and I was really mad and then they sent me an email of like look I'm sorry but but but and I hit reply and started responding and then I kept rewriting and rewriting and at one point and I so I was the first I had basically done a full vitrial pass and then I was lightning it up and lightning it up and I was halfway through I was almost done but the back half was not nice and I hit like return to go to the next paragraph and fucking sent it and then ring ring here comes a phone call of like what the thought and I was just like but the good the good thing was we ended up getting to a place where you could actually talk and it was it for stuff like that you should just be talking on the phone anyway but yeah it was the kind of thing where I was like don't ever you draft that in word you get out of email entirely like I don't know how I didn't know that that's worse than mine so I feel okay that sounds worse than mine well you have to draft that email these you have to learn from yourself and your friends like I now whenever I'm really gossiping, I'll put my phone on airplane mode.

[726] I'm going to do a side version of this and this is someone else's story.

[727] I won't say her name.

[728] I think she would be fine with us saying it.

[729] You know her and love her too.

[730] But one time there was a guy she went out with and it was like a Tinder date or whatever.

[731] And then the date was over.

[732] Like it had just ended and she took a picture of his profile picture and sent it to her friend.

[733] and was just like, dude, this guy was just so fucking hot and blah, blah, blah, and she sent it to him.

[734] Oh, yeah.

[735] She sent it right to fucking him and then was just staring at her phone like, oh, I really was excited about this guy.

[736] And this is officially over right this second.

[737] Like, she never heard from him again as, yeah, bullshit, though.

[738] Yeah.

[739] You'd think it would be like a nice compliment, but what a high compliment.

[740] Yeah.

[741] But you know what?

[742] I think maybe that's a like a, he's just.

[743] not that into you a moment right because that wouldn't he have yeah of course but you don't want that news that fast you want to be a little short of 48 hours be like what if me and that guy or whatever and then you know slowly get ghosted that's what we're all yeah you know you had someone call you right after you did that email thing but i had to make the i was like okay do i write back and be like hey sorry that was a did i mess i messed up or do i just leave i just left it because i was like there's no coming back from this you have to stand by it you have to you can't double down it.

[744] Yeah, because anything you do is only going to make it worse.

[745] It's like when you try to fix your own manicure, you're just going to fuck it up.

[746] Yeah.

[747] It's like it becomes like that painting where like they're trying to redo it and it just becomes the horrible version of the face.

[748] The milty Jesus.

[749] Yeah.

[750] It just looks like a rollo eventually.

[751] It just looks like a rollo eventually.

[752] Everybody makes mistakes.

[753] Everybody.

[754] I actually also want to let the list of know.

[755] I know this for a fact.

[756] SoundCloud, certain SoundCloud accounts.

[757] if you listen to songs, we'll let the person that put them up, know that you have been listening by your email address if you are logged in at the same time.

[758] So keep that in lines.

[759] I think that's okay, right?

[760] Because it's just like music.

[761] It depends.

[762] It depends.

[763] It depends.

[764] There's a song written about you and you're not together anymore.

[765] And, you know, it's three in the morning.

[766] You don't want that email to go out.

[767] Or if you're, that's true.

[768] If you're super into a song and then you listen to it 72 times in a row.

[769] Exactly.

[770] yeah yeah that kind of thing so just keep it in mind for everybody in the future these are great tips we have a lot of good tips on this episode yes letting everybody know god there's so many ways to humiliate yourself yeah don't jizz in the float tank don't creep on LinkedIn don't creep on yeah the most creepy thing I've ever done is when I was like when my play was in New York I was like seeing a guy at the time not but like barely seeing him but like you know into him and I went on my phone on Facebook to like promote my play to get people to come see it.

[771] Hit send.

[772] I had accidentally posted on his wall a promotion for my play for everyone to come see.

[773] Aw.

[774] I feel like I've done.

[775] I've almost done that many times where I've been especially searching on Facebook when you're like trying to like stalk someone and like almost posted the name.

[776] Well, when Facebook first came out, there was a day where I was going back and forth with this guy that I went to high school with who I adore and is still a good friend of mine.

[777] And my other friend texted me and goes, and this friend is like a married man, you know, that like we hadn't seen each other in a long time, but it was like that Facebook like da -da -da and da -da and going back and forth.

[778] And on my wall, there was lots of other things and people talking.

[779] On his wall, it was all me. It literally was like 25 messages from me. And my friend And it texted me and goes, your Facebook messages are like red lipstick written in a mirror.

[780] And I was like, wait, what?

[781] And then I looked at it and was like, oh, my God, I don't.

[782] I'm just old enough.

[783] Like, I don't understand a lot of social media.

[784] This was, you know, like 10 years ago or whatever.

[785] And I was just like, I got to get off.

[786] Like, I can't be using this half knowing how it actually works and looks.

[787] That's right.

[788] Humillion.

[789] The only okay version of that is like the old people who.

[790] leave review like like to leave weird messages on sizzler Facebook page and stuff that's where you're like all right this is good that's the only version any of us want right yeah yeah exactly yeah I think I might just need to get all the way off the train because I'm in the same boat as you care and like I don't care for it I'm not good at it and mostly just embarrassing myself and like I'm not going to learn how to TikTok I don't even know if that's how you say it and it's for the children it's not like you have to every new thing that comes out you have to go oh I'm this much older.

[791] I'm an entire generation away like my niece sends me TikTok she does and I don't know how to stop them when they're over like it'll just start again or it'll go into like the next TikTok that's waiting and I'm like god damn it like the next it's like my niece dancing and being cute and then immediately a TikTok starts where a girl is crying into her phone where I'm like I don't want to fucking watch some teenage girl crying and talking so infuriating and I'm like now I'm this person that just like can you turn this V -Chi CR off.

[792] Yeah, I'm like my mom who's like, Teresa, I don't have Google Maps on this computer, okay?

[793] Yeah, yeah.

[794] That's with the beautiful evolution of this show, okay?

[795] The lady, before we got to exactly right, this was like our, you know, we're our late 20s and we're just like getting fucked up and figuring it out, and now we're ants who don't know how to do shit and that's good.

[796] We're just accepting it.

[797] Oh, welcome, guys.

[798] Welcome to the ants club.

[799] I've been here for a while.

[800] Yeah, it's pretty fun.

[801] We enjoy.

[802] pretty good.

[803] We're proud ants.

[804] And the embarrassment is fun, too.

[805] I think that's another thing Lauren has to remember is it's painful now.

[806] In three weeks, this will be the funniest story you have to tell.

[807] Oh, yeah.

[808] It's already hilarious.

[809] It's real good.

[810] Guys, I can't tell you enough how, especially being one of the first podcasts that I ever really interacted with when I came back to comedy, which was such a very difficult, vulnerable, and let's just, I'll just say it, horrifying.

[811] time in my life and you guys meeting you watching you do what you do was really inspiring it was really welcoming i felt like i got let in the side door of like your your comedy scene which i didn't expect i was like i'm going to do this by myself as the old lady and um so it's it's it means the world to me that now you guys get to be on my podcast network it's like oh it took a long time fucking paperwork sucks But ultimately, I'm so, so happy you're here.

[812] Yeah.

[813] Shout out to all the LinkedIn profiles that got us to this point.

[814] Thank you.

[815] We're really excited.

[816] And yeah, this is going to be great.

[817] This is a good time.

[818] It's amazing.

[819] Yay.

[820] So, yeah, Stitcher Premium and Patreon peeps.

[821] We're going to go do the beef of the week, which is our new bonus segment that comes out on Fridays where we kind of talk about our complaint of the week.

[822] It's like 10, 15 minutes, usually.

[823] So if you want to check out what that is, we have all the information on our, I don't know, our shit.

[824] Go find it somewhere.

[825] Yeah, you'll figure it out.

[826] You'll figure it out.

[827] You're good at the internet.

[828] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[829] We're proud of you.

[830] Welcome.

[831] See you later.

[832] Bye.

[833] Can't get enough of us?

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[835] Go to patreon .com slash lady to lady now to sign up.

[836] As little as a dollar a month keeps a roof over the glam cave and keeps you laughing.

[837] even when your co -workers stare.

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[843] And duh, follow our individual accounts, Babs, Gray, Brand -Dazel, and Testify Barker for jokes and info and where you can see us perform live.

[844] And if you want to send a snack, stickers, or a lock of your own hair, I don't know, whatever, our P .O. Box is 412 -794, Los Angeles, California, 9 -0 -0 -4 -1.

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[846] We love you.

[847] We love you.

[848] Bye.

[849] Bye.

[850] Bye.