MFM Minisode 205 - The Survivors

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] And welcome to my favorite murder.

[2] The minisode episode.

[3] The minisode of episodes.

[4] It's the tiniest of all episodes in minisode.

[5] A little cute one.

[6] Little ones where we read you your tiniest emails that you've sent to us.

[7] Yay.

[8] Yay.

[9] Do you want to read hometown or do you go to start?

[10] This is pretty good.

[11] The subject line is, my mom survived Cleveland in 1978.

[12] Greetings and salutations to all humans and animals associated with the MFM brand.

[13] Perfect.

[14] done.

[15] My sister introduced me to your podcast six months ago ever since I've been nothing but binge listening, laughing out loud at work and checking every closet in my apartment when I get home at night.

[16] I grew up outside Cleveland, as did both my parents.

[17] And my mother worked at a convenient store in Willowick, Ohio, called Lawsons when she was in her early 20s.

[18] It could be Willowick.

[19] It could be Willowick.

[20] Offer all of them.

[21] Willowick.

[22] Willowick.

[23] One night in 1978.

[24] She was closing up the store with her co -worker Bonnie.

[25] Because it was 1978.

[26] Bonnie.

[27] Everyone's name was Bonnie.

[28] Why aren't there Bonnies anymore?

[29] There is a Bonnie Conover who I went to grammar school with and she still lives in Petaluma and we talk to each other on Twitter.

[30] But she's had the name forever.

[31] I want a new Bonnie.

[32] She's the original.

[33] Oh, you want a new baby Bonnie?

[34] I want like a Bonnie that was born in the 2000s.

[35] If you have a Bonnie born in the 2000s, we'd love to see a picture ever.

[36] Yeah.

[37] Even if it's a dog.

[38] a bunny a bunny named bonnie oh also we love pictures of bunnies a bunny named bonnie if you have a picture of a bunny named bonny that's one of those really big ones oh like that's like the size of a six ring it's like a hair not a rabbit so actually we just want we just want the one picture yeah yeah yeah bonnie the bunny that's huge please that's got to be a hashtag okay uh okay so bonnie and the mom or at the Wallawick Lawsons.

[39] They're closing up when two men come in wearing black trash bags from head to toe.

[40] My mom says that she initially thought it was two neighborhood teens that would come in from time to time trying to play a prank on them.

[41] Cute.

[42] Because it was 1978.

[43] One of the men was holding a revolver and ordered my mom and Bonnie to open the register and safe and then lay it down, face down on the floor with their hands at their sides.

[44] They emptied the cash register and then stepped over the women to get to the safe.

[45] the whole time my mom was silent while Bonnie was hysterically praying out loud.

[46] Oh, Bonnie.

[47] Keep it down.

[48] Bonnie, be cool.

[49] At some point, said quietly to my mom that she was, quote, glad she had already mopped the floor.

[50] Just handle it like a Bonnie.

[51] Oh, Bonnie.

[52] Handling it like a Bonnie is a new one.

[53] They stayed like that until they heard another customer come in asking if anyone was in the store.

[54] Apparently, the two men had left.

[55] out the back exit while the ladies were up front laying on the recently mopped floor the police were called but as far as my mom can remember no one was ever arrested for the robbery she and bonnie got a whopping $25 each from Lossons what because they SSD jammed during the incident $97 today in today's money Lauren wow let's give them the full hundred Lawsons they really took one for you they took one for the team bucks I think nowadays you there's like, maybe she's just in Los Angeles, but I think there's like a victim of a violent crime fund that you like, because I knew a girl who got held up at gunpoint at like a salon she worked at, like, she was a receptionist and she was closing up and got held up at gunpoint and like got all this money.

[56] And she was just like, I'm traumatized.

[57] So I don't know what to do with this.

[58] It feels wrong.

[59] Oh, you know.

[60] Well, yeah, everything about that would be so hard because you lived and it's okay.

[61] But then it's not okay.

[62] But I think she, She used it to go to beauty school and then became a talented hair stylist herself.

[63] Fuck yes.

[64] So good for her.

[65] I mean, bad things are seeds that bear fruit into good things.

[66] Good fruit, you know.

[67] That good, good fruit.

[68] Yeah.

[69] Grapefruit.

[70] The best fruit.

[71] Great, great fruit.

[72] The greatest.

[73] Eat it with Bonnie.

[74] That is a very 70s fruit.

[75] Great fruit with a maraschino cherry in the center.

[76] Come on, dieters.

[77] well here's another gas station one i survived because i had to pee dear karen georgia stephen and cache of critters nice i'm not sure if you're all doing i survive stories but who could resist one where a pea size bladder saves the day back in my mid -20s i had construction job where i ran a crew of 15 guys where we traveled all over and were in a different city or state every couple of weeks as the leader of this motley crew i was responsible to arrive at our hotels ahead of that time to make sure that the hotel had enough rooms, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[78] I spent many hours in my car alone, crisscrossing the states, usually on the same highways.

[79] As a precaution to stay sexy and not get murdered, I tried to make stops at the same places as the often as I could, so I know my surroundings.

[80] On this particular day, I pulled into one of my usual gas stations and made my typical run to the restroom.

[81] I had a sense of something not being right, lots of cars with no people in sight, but my urgency was so great, I ignored it.

[82] I plowed through the front doors and as I turned towards the corridor that led to the restrooms I heard a man yell stop right there I didn't even acknowledge him and kept going yes yes let me break in just to say just because someone's yelling doesn't mean you have to respond or be a part of it in any way yes yelling can also mean get the fuck out of there yes he yelled stop again and replied and I replied with hey fuck you as I entered the locked door it entered and locked the door as I dropped my pants with much relief And when I suddenly heard pounding on the restroom door and heard that same voice yelling at me to come out.

[83] Once again, I responded with, Fuck you.

[84] I hurried up.

[85] And when I finished the door, open the door, only to find myself face to face with an angry man who pointed a gun straight in my face.

[86] He grabbed my arm, forcing me in front of him, and told me to walk to the front of the store.

[87] Well, that sense of something not being right was actually me walking smack dab into the middle of an armed robbery at the gas station.

[88] And all the customers and employees except the one except one were being held in the back room with one employee opening the cash registers as I burst into the door.

[89] Oh shit.

[90] Fear not as this has a happy ending, obviously, since I'm the one sending this tale to you.

[91] As the robber was distracted, trying to round me up.

[92] The clerk behind the counter had time to hit the silent alarm, and as luck would have it, there were police nearby.

[93] As the robber forced me to the front of the store, we were met with four policemen pointing guns, and dude gave up without a fight.

[94] His accomplice decided to rob the gas station with empty...

[95] He and his accomplice decided to rob the gas station with empty guns.

[96] So...

[97] Okay.

[98] After giving my statement to the police and receiving some free snacks and drinks, I was on my way and on to more adventures.

[99] Oh, and by the way, while I was at this job, I survived five hotel fires, staying at a haunted hotel reminiscent of the shining, almost sliding off the side of a mountain during an ice storm, almost being dumped and crushed in a garbage truck while dumpster diving, and trudging through 12 inches of snow on crutches.

[100] Proud to be a murderino, Nicole.

[101] Fuck, Nicole.

[102] That was so enjoyable.

[103] I'm so into, we've talked about that before, when people yell across a room at you and you just are like, not doing that.

[104] I don't need to, I don't need to respond to your urgency.

[105] Yeah.

[106] I used to do that in, when you hang out with comics, as you know, too.

[107] When you hang out with comics, they like to do across the room bits a lot of the time.

[108] It's like, if there's more than eight comics at a bar, people start yelling within 20 minutes.

[109] And anytime anyone's done that to me, I yell back.

[110] I don't do room bits.

[111] Like, don't yell across this fucking bar.

[112] Because you want people to know what you're saying.

[113] Yes, exactly.

[114] Listen, and your emergency is not my emergency.

[115] So if it's your emergency, you can come over and tell me. Well, and also, she had to pee, which is priority number one.

[116] We've all been there.

[117] You have to do it.

[118] And if, yeah, you can't just control people with your voice.

[119] Also, what a great, like, just a drop of chaos in the amount of what they thought, this will be our perfectly planned robbery.

[120] This girl just fucking runs in.

[121] She's like, this doesn't feel right.

[122] Anyway.

[123] I have to pee.

[124] I've fucking been there, ma 'am.

[125] I got it.

[126] You never ask a gas station if you can pee.

[127] You just go straight for it.

[128] Now I've required memory of when you disappeared in that door.

[129] God, that's scared.

[130] That's what I was thinking about the whole time.

[131] Okay, go.

[132] The subject line of this email is, my best friend's dad was Mary Vincent's lawyer.

[133] Holy shit.

[134] Come on.

[135] Hello, MFM boss ladies, pod producing guru, and plethora of pets.

[136] Over the long weekend, my best friend came home to visit from New York.

[137] We met up in Orange County.

[138] Hey.

[139] Sorry.

[140] Bage apologies are all around.

[141] And ended up having dinner with her parents at one of our favorite spots.

[142] I've always known her dad was a badass lawyer, but I've never really asked about his cases because I didn't want to sound too intrusive.

[143] While at dinner, he told us that he recently had a meeting to talk about one of his most high -profile cases, a case where a young woman had her arms chopped off.

[144] I swear I must have looked like a crazy person in this tiny restaurant when I squealed, oh my God, was it Mary Vincent?

[145] And indeed, it was.

[146] I have chills right now.

[147] Her dad went on to tell me that he represented Mary pro bono throughout her case against her attacker and even went with Mary in front of Congress advocating for the no second chances from murderers, rapist, or child molesters act of 1998.

[148] Amazing.

[149] How fucking.

[150] I've never heard of that.

[151] I have fucking chills.

[152] I'm like, I'm saying I've never heard of that.

[153] I'm like, did I say it in my story?

[154] You might have.

[155] Amazing.

[156] When we returned to their home after dinner, he showed me photos of him and Mary speaking before Congress, and he told me about how Mary used to babysit my best friend and how her sons and my best friend love to play together as kids.

[157] Oh, my God.

[158] I'm going to cry.

[159] I am still blown away by the fact that I have such a close connection with someone who knows Mary.

[160] It shows how small the world is, but it also puts things back in a person.

[161] perspective that these horrific things happen to real people.

[162] And while it's so depressing, it's so important to highlight these awful things so that we can try to prevent them from happening again in the future.

[163] As a 25 -year -old Angelino, I have to thank you both from the bottom of my heart for confirming my love for true crime isn't weird.

[164] My neuroses are valid and the constant reminder to lock my doors.

[165] All the best, Taylor.

[166] Taylor.

[167] Such a good email, Taylor.

[168] Oh, that was amazing.

[169] Yeah, that's very cool.

[170] If you, Taylor, yeah, took a picture of the picture of Mary Vincent or I bet Stephen could find one I'd love to see a picture of Mary Vincent testifying before Congress I would too that's I just the fact that she did that so badass is unbelievable and what a great fucking law that should absolutely always be passed yes fuck you murders rapist and chum unless you're one of those three things oh that's it's a very special hundredth episode I'm here to tell you about my past okay this is called when a beauty school student encounters a serial killer Okay.

[171] Greetings all.

[172] My name is Sarah, and I live in San Diego.

[173] I actually just got tickets for your January San Diego show for Christmas a couple days ago, and I'm so excited.

[174] I'll be going with my mom, who this story is about.

[175] Guess what?

[176] It happened last week, the other day.

[177] It was so much fun.

[178] It was really, really good.

[179] It's up San Diego.

[180] We could feel her presence.

[181] We could.

[182] Even though I was born and raised in San Diego, half of my childhood was spent driving up the California coastline and spending entire summers in northern California.

[183] North of Napa Valley, where my mother is from.

[184] It sounds like petalum to me. I'm sorry.

[185] What's up?

[186] She had quite a few crazy stories about her time in Northern California, and my favorite one is this.

[187] When my mother was 17 or 18 years old, she went to beauty school in Napa Valley.

[188] It was a small school that was located on a small one -way street, and if you've ever been to a beauty school, you know that nine times out of ten.

[189] They have one of those huge glass windows that are floor to ceiling so people walking by could look in, see a student doing hair, and possibly come in.

[190] As a three -month beauty school dropout, I agree with all of those.

[191] You get this?

[192] I'm here to corroborate this.

[193] What did you learn?

[194] Did you learn anything that you still remember?

[195] A little bit.

[196] I learned how to do finger waves because it was the 1920s apparently.

[197] And they never updated their beauty school shit.

[198] Start with the basics.

[199] Right.

[200] And then just a little bit.

[201] I can still cut my bangs pretty well.

[202] Oh.

[203] That's about it.

[204] Nice.

[205] Okay.

[206] My mother was always positioned at the very last chair right next to the window.

[207] Well, one day in the middle of a sunny afternoon, what seemed like the entire entire Napa Valley police force and surrounding county's forces descended on this very small, very tight little one -way street from all directions.

[208] There were cars pulling up onto the sidewalks and sirens blaring.

[209] Across the street from the beauty school, left some 40 freak from where my weather was standing next to the window.

[210] There was a phone booth.

[211] 20 minutes earlier, the Zodiac killer had called the police from that phone booth.

[212] Oh my fucking God.

[213] Needless to say, the police went in every shop and questioned.

[214] all the people inside, but no one remembers seeing anything or anyone of significance.

[215] I always tease my mom that it was the one lone male beauty school student who snuck out the back door and went around to make the call.

[216] Maybe.

[217] She said that they have a scene similar to this scenario in Karen's favorite movie Zodiac.

[218] Though that doesn't mean much since he was always calling and taunting police, so I'm sure that was an amalgamation of different phone calls.

[219] Looking forward to seeing you next month.

[220] Already happened.

[221] I can't wait to hear it stories you come up with.

[222] I already did them.

[223] um always sarah oh god i don't why that's so exciting to me because if she had looked up at the phone booth which she probably didn't just didn't there was nothing like i was normal dude with a crew cut and those army issued black friend glasses right how do you go amazing yeah write this down yeah you wouldn't also i'm thinking of the city of napa in she said it was the 70s right i think so yeah yeah so it's like a tiny town tiny like this is pre -wind boom so napa is just another little burgh over a hill like it's not big at all i just can't i it's like i'm weirdly starstruck it's not healthy okay that's what this podcast theme is it's not healthy to be starstruck to be starstruck Karen you know i'm all about vintage shopping absolutely and when you say vintage you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash exactly and if you're a small business owner you might know Shopify is great for online sales But did you know that they also power in -person sales?

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[232] I'm so tired that I can't read.

[233] It's truly the tiredest it's ever been in here.

[234] It's fun.

[235] Hey, all, I'm finally caught up with all the episodes, and I'm surprised there aren't more stories from first responders or nurses.

[236] We had a little run there, but yeah, we haven't gotten a lot.

[237] Hey, listen, what?

[238] You finally caught up, and then you're here to give your complaints?

[239] You're here if I can say, here's, here's what is it.

[240] Here's what's lacking.

[241] Here's what's missing in your podcast.

[242] Um, I mean, thank you for all the future.

[243] back.

[244] We've seen some shit.

[245] That's very true.

[246] And most of us have a dark sense of humor.

[247] Also true.

[248] So you better be fucking laughing at me attacking you.

[249] This story was a pivotal moment in my nursing career.

[250] I work in a trauma ICU.

[251] I had heard on the news earlier that day in a nearby small town.

[252] A man shot his ex -wife, her boyfriend, and his own daughter and that he was on the run.

[253] Thankfully all three lived.

[254] Oh, good.

[255] Yes.

[256] Later that day, the police were on a high be chase with him and finally caught up.

[257] The shooter got out of the car, took his handgun, and shot himself in the head.

[258] Wow.

[259] He did it right in front of the local hospital.

[260] So they were able to keep him alive, and here's where I come in.

[261] Oh my God.

[262] The man was stabilized at the local hospital and transferred to me in the ICU at a larger hospital.

[263] He had a through and through gunshot wound to the head, so no chance of recovery, but there was a chance we could still harvest his organs.

[264] So I worked on this man to keep him alive all night.

[265] He was on the ventilator, along with other medications to keep them alive.

[266] Those with a weak stomach, cover your ears.

[267] Oh, my God.

[268] Oh, my God.

[269] We'll give you a cover your ears pause.

[270] Stephen, cover your, oh, wait, his ears already covered with headphones.

[271] He just burst into tears.

[272] I can't cover them anymore than I already have.

[273] This is just one sentence, so you mute it for five seconds.

[274] Or say la, la, la, really loud.

[275] Okay, go.

[276] This dude had brain matter coming out of his nose.

[277] Ew!

[278] And we're back.

[279] Okay.

[280] I was trying to keep alive a motherfucker.

[281] that had just tried to kill three people, including his own young daughter.

[282] It was really a bizarre experience for me. That's nursing, though.

[283] You take care of the best people and the worst.

[284] A lot of the worst.

[285] I read that so weird.

[286] That was amazing.

[287] A lot of the worst.

[288] This man was not an organ donor on his license, but his next of kin, his older daughter, made the decision to make him an organ donor.

[289] He said, scrape that motherfucker clean.

[290] Yes.

[291] It was a small bit of justice that we were able to help people on the transplant list with his death.

[292] Please become an organ donor.

[293] I agree.

[294] Please do.

[295] We're still in C -M -L.

[296] That was not me. That was not me. But I agree.

[297] I won't go into too many details, but it is very rare that someone who passes in the hospital is even a candidate for organ donation.

[298] Love you guys and everything you do.

[299] Amazing.

[300] It's such a good point.

[301] And it, you know, what took me so long, I was in my 20s when I became a donor and like just check that little box.

[302] Yeah.

[303] Because I think everyone thinks of it as superstitious, you know, that thing of like, well, as soon as I do it, then I'm going to die.

[304] It's like, well, that doesn't exist.

[305] This world isn't even fucking real.

[306] Like, everything is fine.

[307] Just you're going to be a better person.

[308] Just put, like, click donor box.

[309] Nothing is real.

[310] Nothing's real.

[311] And also, it just, there is a way you can be generous past.

[312] Right.

[313] Instead of standing around fearing your own death, you can look at it in a different way, maybe just briefly.

[314] and be like this could actually be there are people who need spleen eyeballs, livers and kidneys and livers?

[315] Probably.

[316] I don't know.

[317] Everything.

[318] And you know what else?

[319] It'll actually help your family after because they'll think of you positive, like not as an asshole as you were in your life.

[320] I don't know where I'm going.

[321] It will make your family stop hating your guts.

[322] Those stories, your literal guts because they'll be in someone else's fucking.

[323] Finally be able to love your guts.

[324] Those stories of people who's like kid dies and but they get the organs and then they've got to go meet the person who has their son's heart.

[325] Unbelievable.

[326] And it's like, that's real.

[327] That one video where the dad meets the boy with his daughter's heart is like, it really is still her heart.

[328] I know.

[329] It's the most beautiful thing of all the time.

[330] She lived with it for, okay.

[331] Well, here's a good story.

[332] Actually, for this.

[333] My almost murder in the stairwell.

[334] Hi, Karen, Georgia.

[335] Stephen and furry friends.

[336] I work at an office building.

[337] You would normally need a key card for access.

[338] However, our floor was undergoing.

[339] construction, so the security was lax, and there was a number of extra people coming and going for a few weeks.

[340] I should mention my mother has been embedding safety tips into my head since I was a teen.

[341] Don't take drinks from strangers.

[342] Be aware of your surroundings and parking lots.

[343] Don't wear a lanyard around your neck.

[344] Oh, just someone could grab it?

[345] I guess, yeah.

[346] And keep your keys in between your knuckles, etc. Pay special attention to that last one.

[347] Anyway, I was leaving work one day and took the stairwell, one, because it was much faster than waiting on the elevator, and two, I sit at a desk all day and thought I should get a minute of exercise.

[348] And then she writes, ha.

[349] I walked the floor flights down, notice a middle -aged man at the bottom.

[350] I said, hi, excuse me, and monitor and motion for the door because he was blocking it.

[351] He looked up on his phone, gave me the most creepy look slash stare, and lunged forward towards me, putting his arms around me in a big bear hug.

[352] Uh -uh.

[353] My instincts kicked in immediately.

[354] I need him in the balls as hard as humanly possible and proceeded to stab him in the cheek with my fucking car key he yelled, started crying like a little girl and yelled every obscenity possible at me. Fucking asshole.

[355] Yeah, you're yelling at her.

[356] As I ran back up the four flights of stairs in a panic.

[357] I got to the reception desk, told her to call security while I dialed 911.

[358] This was before I listened to the podcast so my fuck politeness attitude was non -existence.

[359] What are you talking about?

[360] You just beat the shit out of this guy.

[361] It was right there, baby.

[362] Don't you worry about your Well, then she says, looking back, my dainty, excuse me, was so stupid.

[363] I should have immediately turned around and went back upstairs when I saw someone I didn't recognize.

[364] But that's not true.

[365] I mean, you tried your best to be a human.

[366] It turns out this person wasn't.

[367] Yeah.

[368] And so you fucking defended yourself.

[369] Yeah, you were acting like how normal people act with normal people.

[370] Right.

[371] And even if you had gotten attacked and raped and hadn't fought him off, it's not, you didn't do anything wrong.

[372] I hate everyone so much.

[373] Side note, had I not taken my car to work that day, would have only had a key fob on my keychain, but because I drove my husband's car to work, I had a nice chunky key to stab that motherfucker with.

[374] Yes.

[375] Anyway, stay sexy and don't get murdered.

[376] Please come back to Orlando soon.

[377] Love Sarah from Florida.

[378] Oh, that's an amazing story.

[379] Also, the presence of mind just to go right for the balls in that, in that moment, because I think a lot of times you would just freeze up.

[380] I know I would.

[381] I'm sure I would.

[382] Or they would be prepared for the needed.

[383] That's what I always fear is that they're going to be, like, I, you know, I imagine kicking someone in the dick daily.

[384] Oh.

[385] And I always imagine that maybe they'll be prepared for it and block it.

[386] Be wearing a cup like from their JV baseball team.

[387] That's right.

[388] Or be a eunuch.

[389] Or, you know.

[390] Then what are they doing?

[391] What are they doing this for?

[392] I live in Narnia.

[393] Just in my mind.

[394] My imagination is insane.

[395] Don't forget you can gouge eyes also.

[396] Ooh, that's something someone.

[397] Someone said recently because they said in, they teach you that.

[398] Again, we have to do.

[399] Oh, my God.

[400] We have to do a self -defense class.

[401] But they say that you don't think of it because it's so extreme.

[402] Right.

[403] But if you have a free hand, go right for the, go the eyes, nose, put a finger up the nose.

[404] So, yeah, it poked someone in the eye, right?

[405] Like, bink.

[406] You get to the eye tissue, you get up the nose, you do whatever you can.

[407] And basically, don't be afraid to shove a key in an ear.

[408] I feel like a forehead to a nose bridge would be a great.

[409] smack that motherfucker on the bridge of their nose That's the Belfast Good Morning I don't know I don't know what's going on I wish people greeted each other like that Okay Boom And Narnia Classic head button Narnia Okay Send your rest of your stories at my favorite murder at Gmail And you know Yeah And stay sexy And don't get murdered Goodbye Goodbye