Spatchcocking

[0] Conan O 'Brien needs a fan.

[1] Want to talk to Conan?

[2] Visit teamcoco .com slash call Conan.

[3] Okay, let's get started.

[4] Hi, Floreenza.

[5] Welcome to Conan O 'Brien needs a fan.

[6] Hi.

[7] Hey, Florentia.

[8] How are you?

[9] I'm doing great.

[10] So happy to be here.

[11] Well, it's nice to meet you.

[12] And I think you're, where are you right now in the world?

[13] I'm in Marble Plata.

[14] It's a city, a beach city south of Buenos Aires.

[15] Ah, so you're in Argentina.

[16] Argentina, yeah, that's, of course.

[17] Okay, all right.

[18] Well, I'm sorry.

[19] I guess I'm a fool, but I needed to identify.

[20] No, no, no. Yeah, please.

[21] So you're in Argentina.

[22] Hi, son, hi.

[23] Hi, congrats on the World Cup.

[24] Yeah, that's exciting.

[25] That's exciting.

[26] Have you bumped into Messi since the World Cup?

[27] Have you seen him around?

[28] I wish.

[29] I wish.

[30] No, no, he's really guarded inside the, you know, because everybody wants a bit.

[31] Trust me, Florentia, I know what it's like.

[32] I, everybody wants a piece of me. You're very different.

[33] The way Messi is in Argentina, that's what it's like for me here in the United States.

[34] Everybody, kind of a natural liar of.

[35] That is not true.

[36] Anyway.

[37] Very, very different.

[38] Very different.

[39] So many people.

[40] We can edit those comments out, I'm sure.

[41] Aren't on board.

[42] So, Florentia, tell us about yourself.

[43] What do you do?

[44] Well, nowadays, I'm a yoga guide.

[45] I guide people into a yoga.

[46] Yoga.

[47] And I don't like to say I teach because it's pretentious, because I guide them.

[48] I help them.

[49] And that's my actual job.

[50] And before I was a lawyer for almost 30 years.

[51] Oh.

[52] Did you like being a lawyer?

[53] No. No. That was the best no I've heard in my lifetime.

[54] You didn't like being.

[55] a lawyer.

[56] Why did you do it?

[57] No. Because I was young and I was an eldest daughter and I want to impress everybody and was a really good student and I went to university and I got good grades and I got you know.

[58] You were a victim of your success.

[59] You felt this is the next step.

[60] I must I must now be a lawyer and you stuck with it for a long time, 30 years.

[61] Yeah, but a lot of crying in the bathrooms.

[62] You know, lot of.

[63] No, that's too bad.

[64] There's a lot of that here.

[65] Yeah, I've been there.

[66] Basically, that's every career.

[67] I've often, when I was doing the talk show, I would often say, we'll take a break, we'll be right back.

[68] And I would just go and cry in the bathroom.

[69] And then come back and continue my conversation with Tom Arnold.

[70] The money was good.

[71] You know, that's tempting.

[72] That's your, you know, Faustia bargain.

[73] The money keeps you.

[74] Money keeps you going.

[75] Yeah.

[76] Yep.

[77] And it, I mean, I know this is off topic, but I love your glasses.

[78] I wish, I wish I could put those glasses on right now.

[79] Those are fantastic.

[80] They're very unique.

[81] Yeah, thank you.

[82] Yeah.

[83] I like my glasses.

[84] You have good style.

[85] And look at your arms.

[86] You have great, it looks like you have some tattoos on your arm.

[87] If we did this, you'd get on us about talking about visual things on the podcast.

[88] Yeah.

[89] I'm sorry.

[90] You're not even describing it.

[91] She's got these beautiful black, modern glasses.

[92] Sona.

[93] I'm, you know, I have my flaws, but I, one of them is, uh, is, is, is not that I don't own up my mistakes.

[94] Oh, Jesus.

[95] Boy, that, I think there were nine negatives in that sentence.

[96] Even you couldn't get through that.

[97] What a Gordian knot.

[98] Flerencia is wearing gorgeous, uh, geometric, uh, matte black glasses, uh, look like two 1950s televisions.

[99] that are perched on her lovely face.

[100] And then she's got these very cool tattoos.

[101] And I think you're rocking it.

[102] I think you've got incredible style.

[103] Yeah.

[104] And I'm excited to know you.

[105] You quit law because you hated it.

[106] You were crying in the bathroom.

[107] You got out of there.

[108] And you become a yoga instructor.

[109] I'm intrigued by yoga, but I don't know if I'd be any good at it.

[110] Could you help me?

[111] Yes, definitely I could because, you know, I think what yoga has is this aura of this, you know, sanctimonious rules and, you know, you have to wear white and you have to be calm.

[112] And in the yoga I make, I learn in the United States, it's very accidental.

[113] We play rock and pop music and we don't call Sanskrit names the poses.

[114] So it's, I like this.

[115] Kind of, yeah, it's fun.

[116] Could I wear a business suit while I do my yoga?

[117] Oh, boy.

[118] Would that be, would that be okay with you if I wore, I mean, a full -on Brooks Brothers suit and tie and black shoes?

[119] We have a Harry Stiles accident.

[120] Maybe you open your crotch during your some extension or something like that.

[121] I think people get excited when Harry Stiles' crotch accidentally opens.

[122] And when I, when I, when that happens to me, people.

[123] act like there's been a hazardous waste spill and they cordoned off the area That happened to you once and I got a civic alert on my phone Yeah, it's not good No, I'd like to learn more about yoga Do you think I have a good body for yoga From what you've seen?

[124] Are you familiar with just the podcast Or have you seen any of my television work?

[125] No, I'm a fan of yours Since the end of the 90s Oh, wow, okay Well, I've started in the early 90s So, Jesus, I guess there was a couple of years there when we weren't into it.

[126] You live in Argentina.

[127] Okay.

[128] So how did you come to know the show?

[129] I traveled to the U .S. and I watched the show and I really liked how, I mean, how silly you were and how silly everybody was and everything.

[130] So after that, I, well, I obtained the episodes.

[131] What does that mean?

[132] Yeah.

[133] You know.

[134] No, I don't know.

[135] Why don't you tell me?

[136] It doesn't play here in Argentina.

[137] So I went to the interwebs and obtained the episodes.

[138] You pirated my TV show.

[139] We got you.

[140] This is a steam operation.

[141] We got you.

[142] We got you now.

[143] That's the only reason I'm talking to you is we got a red alert coming from a province in Argentina that someone was watching the old shows.

[144] Oh, so you would, you pirated the TV show, but I don't care.

[145] I'm glad you were just watching, and as long as you pay me what you owe me, we're good.

[146] Yeah.

[147] You have to look it like this.

[148] I love the show and you enough to commit a felony.

[149] Yes.

[150] And she was a lawyer.

[151] Yeah.

[152] You could have gotten disbarred.

[153] Right.

[154] In fact, I think you subconsciously wanted to get disbarred.

[155] It sounds like it.

[156] So you could start your yoga career.

[157] Wow.

[158] That's, well, I'm very happy that you watch those old.

[159] shows and that they brought you some joy.

[160] That's that's why we did them.

[161] So I'm glad that you like this.

[162] And I also went to to see you in person once in Burbank.

[163] Oh.

[164] And how was it?

[165] And it was amazing.

[166] It was Christoph Waltz was the guest.

[167] Oh, I love Christoph Waltz.

[168] Yeah, he's terrific.

[169] Yeah.

[170] He's so he had recently won an Oscar.

[171] So it was a big night and I was happy to meet, meet to know everybody.

[172] I think Sona gave me the ticket, something like that.

[173] Oh, wow.

[174] Incredible.

[175] So you even got to know Sona.

[176] Did you enjoy?

[177] When I walked out and you saw me in person, you'd only see me on TV before.

[178] But when you saw me in person, what did you think?

[179] He's so tall.

[180] Yes.

[181] What did you want her to say?

[182] Yeah, what did you want?

[183] I wanted you to say that, there was a light coming from his face that felt like Christ had come back to Earth so you noticed that I was tall yeah yeah that's very impressive to me I'm tall too so that's really impressive to me if you were short that would have been something like oh my God he's a key chain yeah I'm gonna tell you something a lot of comedians in my business are very short I'm the tall one so just keep that in mind Why should she keep that in mind?

[184] I just don't like anybody else.

[185] Just stay focused on Conan.

[186] He's the tall one.

[187] What?

[188] You want her to just remember you're tall so she can continue liking you?

[189] Everything you just said makes perfect sense to me. Oh, man. If I came to visit you, Therentia, what's the name of your city again, your town?

[190] Mar del Plata.

[191] Okay, I can't.

[192] That means sea of silver.

[193] Merrplata.

[194] Yeah.

[195] If I came to Meraplata, Argentina, what would we do?

[196] How would you entertain me?

[197] You're in California, so I guess my city wouldn't be so amazing to you because our beaches are pretty much like the beaches in California.

[198] I wouldn't know.

[199] I've never been to the beach in California.

[200] I've seen postcards, but I refuse to leave my house most of the time.

[201] I'm scared of the sun.

[202] So I would take you to the beach with an umbrella.

[203] taking care of your skin because here the sun is really killer, as it's a killer.

[204] Yeah.

[205] Because we are closer to the hole in the, I don't know what.

[206] And then I would definitely.

[207] Well, you've done your homework.

[208] And then what would we do?

[209] Well, I would take you see the whales in the, the whales in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, so you have definitely had to see the glaciers.

[210] Oh, the glaciers.

[211] Oh, oh, the I hope they're still there.

[212] I mean, everyone's talking about global warming.

[213] You got to pick it up because they're melting, definitely.

[214] They're melting.

[215] Oh, so for fun, we're going to go look at a melting glacier.

[216] Yeah, no, but yeah, really, I was telling, I was telling the other guy who the clueless gamer, the other clueless gamer.

[217] Aaron, Aaron, yes, yes.

[218] Aaron, Aaron.

[219] That when I, before I went to see the glacier, I was so dismissive.

[220] Oh, that's a piece of ice.

[221] I don't know.

[222] well, a glacier.

[223] But it's really amazing.

[224] It's really amazing.

[225] It's something out of this world.

[226] I would like to see that.

[227] I would like to see that glacier.

[228] And, yeah, I think I'd have a better attitude about going to see the glacier than you had when you went to see the glacier.

[229] Yeah.

[230] Oh, it's a piece of ice, whatever, you know.

[231] You're probably hard to please when you travel, you know.

[232] Okay, we're going to see some lions and tigers, whatever.

[233] Yeah.

[234] Yeah, definitely, definitely.

[235] But, you know, sometimes you have this prejudices that you say, oh, I know, I don't care.

[236] But it really, it was really surprising.

[237] Yeah.

[238] And I would definitely take you to the wine region here in Argentina.

[239] We have amazing wine.

[240] And the wine is really out of this world.

[241] You have to drink Argentinian wine to know.

[242] I will have Argentine wine.

[243] What about the steak?

[244] Let's talk about the steak.

[245] Yeah.

[246] Here we, it's not only.

[247] the steak, but you know, you can see that like half a cow, they open the cow in the middle like this.

[248] What?

[249] And they put them on a steak close to the fire and they roast the whole cow together.

[250] They, they just, you're basically saying they break a cow in half and roast the whole thing so that you can see the inside's cooking.

[251] Yeah, maybe the inside they put it on the side.

[252] But yeah, you can see definitely.

[253] the shape of the...

[254] No, I was thinking the same thing.

[255] This very much sounds like Silence of the Lambs, you know, that...

[256] Yeah.

[257] It sounds like the cow is ritualistically butchered and murdered, and then split in half.

[258] That sounds kind of ghoulish.

[259] Yeah.

[260] It's not for the weak of heart, because you can definitely see the shape of the cow, like, stay there close to the fire.

[261] It can take, like, 12 hours.

[262] hours to fully roast the cow.

[263] But they say it's amazing.

[264] I don't eat meat, but yeah, they say it's really something.

[265] I think I know why you don't eat meat.

[266] I think you don't eat meat because when you were little, they kept breaking cows in half right in front of you and roasting them for 12 hours.

[267] All that, those innards sizzling and dripping out.

[268] It's, yeah, I'd be a vegetarian.

[269] No, I like it.

[270] I'm in.

[271] It's like spatch cocking a chicken.

[272] Would you say to me?

[273] Yeah, what did you say to him?

[274] It's like spatch cocking a chicken.

[275] You just split it open.

[276] Oh, geez.

[277] Spatch cocking.

[278] Spatch cocking.

[279] I actually have heard of spatch cocking.

[280] You have never heard of spatch cocking a chicken?

[281] Yeah.

[282] Okay, I have.

[283] Don't get mad at me. Oh, my God.

[284] I'm sorry.

[285] I apologize, Flencia.

[286] Here you are talking to us from so many thousands of miles away.

[287] And we're getting into ways to prepare a chicken slash a sexual maneuver that was popular in the late 70s.

[288] Wait, what do you think spatch cocking is?

[289] Trust me, I did some spatch cocking back in the day.

[290] Florentia, uh, I think we'd have a good time.

[291] I'm going to have some steak.

[292] Sona, settle down.

[293] We're gonna, I'm gonna have some.

[294] I still got some of the equipment.

[295] Oh, come on.

[296] Florentia, I'm losing you quickly.

[297] Oh, please.

[298] Oh, she covered her ears.

[299] Remember how tall I am.

[300] I'm losing you with my comedic foolishness, but then I reel you back in with my sheer height.

[301] How tall are you, Florentia?

[302] Five, eight.

[303] That's pretty tall.

[304] Can you teach Conan yoga if he ever comes to visit?

[305] Because I would love to see Conan trying to be yoga.

[306] Yeah, definitely.

[307] I would really, I love to teach people who think they are not good or they are not flexible.

[308] Well, wait a minute.

[309] Would you assume that I wouldn't be flexible?

[310] Because you always say that you are like too tall and too, you know, your legs are too long.

[311] I love when you describe me and I, you flail around.

[312] It's like you're doing double -dutch jump rope.

[313] Well, your assumption may be correct.

[314] I may be rather inflexible, but I think with your help, with your new approach to yoga, I agree with you.

[315] I don't like all that.

[316] Let's light a candle.

[317] Let's listen to some calming music.

[318] I don't like it when they fold their hands over my head and say a prayer.

[319] You know, if I wanted that, I'd go to the Catholic Church.

[320] No, I want, your dog is walking out on us.

[321] He's tall.

[322] He's tall.

[323] Come back.

[324] Your dog has had enough of my bullshit and just got up in the background and walked away.

[325] But I agree with you.

[326] I think your new approach sounds very good.

[327] but I'd like to try it.

[328] Thank you.

[329] I would really love to visit you again in California and see you guys in person, even though I'm really happy to have this machinery to meet all the gang.

[330] I listen to a podcast all the time, and it really helped me through the pandemic.

[331] Oh, good, good.

[332] I'm so glad.

[333] We love doing it, and my favorite thing is when people say that they're listening and they feel a connection because that makes us feel really good.

[334] And that's how we make it.

[335] I think the hour -long format is really amazing because even if I liked the shorter interviews, having time to talk to a person is really, really instructive.

[336] And I got to know so many great people.

[337] And I also love your wife's podcast.

[338] Oh, great.

[339] Oh, wow.

[340] She's, I mean, she's my better half in every way.

[341] My wife is so, she works really hard.

[342] She's such a good writer, and she's got a much better broadcasting voice than I do.

[343] Just take it easy, Sona.

[344] Significant others.

[345] Yeah.

[346] Significant others is her podcast.

[347] Available on all podcasts platforms.

[348] Yeah.

[349] Amazing idea and amazing execution is great.

[350] Well, I'm going to tell her that.

[351] I'm going to play her this, actually, because I want her to hear it.

[352] I'm very proud of her.

[353] I'm married up, as they say, above my station.

[354] As you should.

[355] Make it easy.

[356] Hey, Florentia, what do you mean you sure did?

[357] Oh, God.

[358] All right.

[359] It was really nice talking to you, and I do hope our paths cross.

[360] I'd love you to help me become more flexible, and I'd love to eat a cow that's been brutally split in two and then roasted in the market square.

[361] I would like to guide you for both tasks.

[362] Yes.

[363] Thank you very much, Florentzia.

[364] Have a wonderful day.

[365] Thank you.

[366] Bye, bye, bye.

[367] Bye, bye, guys.

[368] Bye -bye.

[369] Conan O 'Brien needs a fan with Conan O 'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley.

[370] Produced by me, Matt Gourley.

[371] Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Joanna Solitaireoff, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson at Earwolf.

[372] Music by Jimmy Vivino.

[373] Supervising producer Aaron Blank.

[374] Associate talent producer Jennifer Samples.

[375] Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Burm.

[376] Engineering by Eduardo Perez.

[377] Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

[378] This has been a Team Coco production in association with Stitcher.