Ed Sheeran Live from the SiriusXM Garage

[0] This special live recorded episode of Cumberbrien Needs a Friend is brought to you by Samsung.

[1] Samsung keeps innovating.

[2] They really do.

[3] They're on the ball.

[4] They're always doing new things.

[5] Yes, yes.

[6] I can't even keep up.

[7] Well, you can never keep up.

[8] But I'm very good at keeping up, and I can't keep up with Samsung.

[9] Last year, Samsung launched the gaming hub.

[10] No console required.

[11] I don't know if you remember this, Blay, but you and I did a clueless gamer with this technology.

[12] Of course I remember.

[13] Well, I didn't know you.

[14] You have such an exciting life.

[15] That's not true at all.

[16] You travel the world.

[17] You're like a bond villain.

[18] No. Playing on the Samsung TV without a console was one of the highlights of my year last year.

[19] It was great.

[20] It was fantastic.

[21] We had a very good time.

[22] Samsung has now integrated the gaming hub into the Samsung freestyle.

[23] Stream thousands of games all on the freestyle second -gen portable projector from Samsung.

[24] It's pretty cool, right?

[25] It is really cool.

[26] I got to say, the crazy thing is it automatically adjusts to the surface.

[27] that's being projected on.

[28] Yep.

[29] And I'm not kidding, this is wild.

[30] You can, like, put it on the floor and it will automatically adjust the angle.

[31] So when you're staring at the wall or the projector, it is still the aspect.

[32] It's incredible.

[33] No, last night, I watched Citizen Kane projected on my bare chest.

[34] And guess what?

[35] It's a better movie that way.

[36] I don't wait.

[37] You projected it and you looked in the mirror and you watched it that way.

[38] I was using X -ray specs.

[39] It was so weird.

[40] I saw such a totally different movie that way.

[41] Oh, okay.

[42] Ends happily.

[43] Yeah, but.

[44] But it adjust up to 100 inches, which is really good for your chest.

[45] Adjust up to 100 inches.

[46] I wouldn't touch that line with a 10 -foot pole.

[47] Okay.

[48] Anyway, where was that at high school?

[49] Hey, it's a great invention.

[50] Samsung, they're always innovating.

[51] Oh, you have more to say?

[52] Well, the other thing I want to say is everyone in the live audience for this show got to see the freestyle second -gen portable projector in action.

[53] Very cool, which is incredibly cool.

[54] So Oprah gives people things, but we let them see how it works, and then we tell them to go out and buy it.

[55] That's right.

[56] We just show them something cool.

[57] Yet another way that I'm different from Oprah.

[58] Hey, no, it is very cool, though.

[59] Check it out.

[60] Stream thousands of games, no console required now on the freestyle second gen with Gaming Hub on Samsung.

[61] Streaming games on Samsung Gaming Hub requires a high -speed internet connection, additional gaming service subscription, and compatible controller required.

[62] Well, I sort of wanted to normalize the word wank in America because it's like not used that much.

[63] So, hi, my name is Ed Sheeran.

[64] And I feel wank about being Conan O 'Brien.

[65] Fawn is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell, brand of shoes, walking loose, climb the fence, books and pens, I can tell that of me I'm going to be friends.

[66] This is exciting.

[67] What a great crowd.

[68] Thank you for being here.

[69] This is very nice of you.

[70] Well, good night, everybody.

[71] The easily pleased crowd.

[72] When a crowd is happy to see you go as they are to see you show up, that's a bad sign.

[73] Did you just mention, Blay, that there is going to be drinks for the crowd after the show?

[74] That's right.

[75] Why not drinks before and during the show?

[76] What's wrong with that?

[77] Next time.

[78] Next time.

[79] We're always learning.

[80] And once again, they've added another.

[81] row.

[82] That's true.

[83] First time we did this here at the Sirius XM Garage, it was just this audience here.

[84] Then I said, I think we could have more.

[85] That's right.

[86] So they added one row.

[87] I said, I think it could be more.

[88] They added one more row.

[89] None of you would be here, were it not for me. That's absolutely true.

[90] None of you would be here.

[91] Hi, how are you?

[92] I love your hair and the, hi, how are you?

[93] Hi.

[94] I was bullied.

[95] Anyway, oh, look at that.

[96] That's a late night with Conan O 'Brien's shirt.

[97] Those are made of asbestos.

[98] Be careful.

[99] Those are not...

[100] Yeah.

[101] Yeah, we just took old like ER shirts and friends shirts and spray painted them.

[102] Yeah.

[103] Have you ever worn it in the rain?

[104] They catch fire.

[105] True story, yeah.

[106] Don't wear it.

[107] That stuff is shit.

[108] Not that one.

[109] That one's cool.

[110] Yeah.

[111] No, it's very nice to be here.

[112] We have a great show.

[113] We have such a good show.

[114] Very good show tonight.

[115] I like that you paused for a long time before you brought me out as if it was a big mystery.

[116] Yeah.

[117] You went and now it's time to bring out and there was this long, weird pause.

[118] Well, I had...

[119] And I thought you had gas or something.

[120] You were just...

[121] There was this long, like, who could it be?

[122] Everyone here knows.

[123] Well, yeah, we want the anticipation when people frothing at the mouth.

[124] I shouldn't have said frothing at the mouth, but, you know, the anticipation high.

[125] Yeah, what you described is botulism.

[126] Sorry.

[127] A lot of Conan fans have, by the way.

[128] Thank you for coming so far.

[129] I'm just going to assume you all came from a really great distance.

[130] It wouldn't come from very...

[131] Where did you come from?

[132] Oh, Long Beach?

[133] Come on, I was hoping you'd say like Guam.

[134] We took 11 planes and a submarine and then a hovercraft.

[135] No, but you came from Long Beach.

[136] Well, that's, what is that?

[137] That's about 35 minutes.

[138] Wow, diehard fans I have.

[139] The Guam of California.

[140] Yeah, it is the Guam of California.

[141] It really is.

[142] Well, thank you.

[143] What's your name?

[144] Hi, Ty.

[145] It's nice to meet you.

[146] Yeah, how are you?

[147] and do you have your friends with you here?

[148] Are you just your buddy?

[149] Great.

[150] Oh, great.

[151] So you all came together from Long Beach.

[152] Who really came from a great distance?

[153] Who came from far, far away?

[154] Yes.

[155] Riverside.

[156] So that would be like 39 minutes.

[157] We're seeing here the depth and the intensity of Conan Fandom.

[158] People look, oh, I don't even want to, I see you raising your hands and I don't even want to know.

[159] Oh, Northwest Hollywood.

[160] Yes, go ahead.

[161] Your apartment building is attached?

[162] You literally slid down a pole.

[163] Like a fireman to get here.

[164] And you look, you're wearing pajamas.

[165] You were asleep 11 minutes ago, and you're like, eh, I don't want to see Conan, but I guess I'll see his guest.

[166] Blup!

[167] Right down into his seat.

[168] Do you come see a lot of serious shows?

[169] This is your first one.

[170] The first one that enticed you out of your apartment that's 18 inches from.

[171] where I'm standing right now.

[172] You should have a party for all of us after the show.

[173] We should all go back to your apartment.

[174] What's that?

[175] Will I come?

[176] No, I will not.

[177] I've got to get back to Riverside because that's also where I live.

[178] We'll see.

[179] We'll see how it goes.

[180] We'll see how good a crowd you are.

[181] If you're a really good crowd, no, I'll stop by.

[182] Although when a man my age who's married with grown children shows up at a party, it can be misunderstood.

[183] It can come across as a little creepy.

[184] What's he doing here?

[185] He just invited himself.

[186] You know, I've talked for a long time, and really I should invite out the true stars of the show.

[187] I'm just kidding.

[188] But I do love them, and together, I think we make quite a team.

[189] I'm going to bring them out right now.

[190] Sonom of Sessian and Mr. Matt Gourley.

[191] Let's get him out here.

[192] Yay!

[193] I'm going to now, this is something that's very difficult to do in my business.

[194] Switch from this mic to that mic.

[195] It's a very difficult procedure.

[196] but when you're dealing with a professional it can be quite easily done.

[197] I was warming up the crowd and it turns out there might be a party happening after the show.

[198] All right.

[199] Inches from where we're sitting right now, Sona and Man. Okay.

[200] Yeah, and Sona likes to party.

[201] I do.

[202] You know what?

[203] Earlier, I was in the bathroom with a bunch of these guys and I leaned up on the sink and it was wet and my butt is completely wet right now.

[204] And so when I came in...

[205] Wait a minute.

[206] That's the seat where our guest is going to sit.

[207] Yes, our guest is going to sit in ass.

[208] What a crappy show we have.

[209] It's okay, it's SpongeBob SquarePants.

[210] Okay, good, yeah.

[211] Our first guest, SpongeBob, we immediately take care of the problem.

[212] Yeah.

[213] With his spongy ass.

[214] Why were you hanging out in the bathroom with the crowd beforehand?

[215] What kind of show business is this?

[216] I don't know.

[217] She was in the bathroom of that lady's apartment.

[218] Yeah, I see.

[219] I went to her house.

[220] Was everyone in this crowd hanging out in that woman's...

[221] Ma 'am, Miss, what is?

[222] I call her ma 'am, I call her ma 'am, like him in a 1930s, Oklahoma vaudeville sketch.

[223] What is your name, young lady?

[224] Emily, all right?

[225] Emily's having a party in her apartment above the Sirius XM afterwards.

[226] And, Sonny, you'll probably go.

[227] You'll go to anything.

[228] Why did you say it like that?

[229] Because you will, if you find out that the snacks and the drinks are free, you're there.

[230] Actually, that is too.

[231] I like to be included.

[232] Every time I do this with Sonia, she'll be like, what do you mean?

[233] and I'll restate the thing I just said and she'll go, that's true.

[234] You're right.

[235] If there is free food and free drinks, I'll be there.

[236] But also, I just like to be included.

[237] I like when people invite me to things.

[238] That's nice.

[239] Well, she didn't invite you yet, but she invited most of the crowd.

[240] Oh, she's doing a thing with her hand, so I'm going to do it.

[241] Well, listen, I found out from the crowd because I always like to find out, people really came from all over the globe.

[242] And when I say globe, if it was a globe that was shrunk down to the size of roughly a 15 -mile radius of Los Angeles.

[243] A globe that size.

[244] But we have people from Riverside here.

[245] Oh, Riverside is not close.

[246] Yeah, no. You came all the way from Altadena.

[247] Okay.

[248] Conan, it's not...

[249] They don't even use American currency there.

[250] It's...

[251] I swear to God, it's all Armenian currency.

[252] Armenian, where people are wooing Altadena.

[253] That's good.

[254] I wasn't saying anything bad about it.

[255] I was just saying it's amazing.

[256] It's incredible that you live in Altadena.

[257] Why is it Armenian currency?

[258] I don't know.

[259] I don't know.

[260] a lot of your family there?

[261] Can you name what the Armenian currency is?

[262] Yeah, the jub -j -jab -j -j -j -joo.

[263] Okay.

[264] What's the didom?

[265] The what?

[266] The did -op.

[267] Yeah, what?

[268] It's the did -on.

[269] Did -up.

[270] We went together, remember?

[271] I know.

[272] Right.

[273] I don't see you throwing a lot of didab around.

[274] What do you mean?

[275] I wouldn't throw it, or you threw it around when we were there.

[276] I didn't pay for anything.

[277] That's true.

[278] You don't pay for things.

[279] I was cool with going with you.

[280] Yeah, I'd pay for things.

[281] for everything.

[282] It's very true.

[283] Anyway, people from all over the, all over Los Angeles are here.

[284] And, uh, it's very cool.

[285] And I'm very thrilled that they're all here.

[286] And Matt, I'm excited about the show.

[287] Yeah, me too.

[288] We have a terrific show today.

[289] We're going to have very good time.

[290] And, uh, how are you?

[291] I didn't get to really chat with you yet.

[292] I'm good.

[293] I'm good.

[294] Sona and I got here way too early.

[295] So we went over to the 99 store across the street to see if everything actually is 99 cents.

[296] We did do that though.

[297] Yeah.

[298] Yeah.

[299] Yeah.

[300] No, when Matt said it, I didn't think you're way too cool to do that no i thought of course you did that no one here is like what the funds went to the 99 cents store but anyways so what did you find out that hardly anything is priced at 99 a lot of it has gone up to a dollar 19 yeah um but there's still a few items that are still 99 cents that's no america i want to live in no if you're calling it the 99 cent store then i think it should cost 99 cents or below once it's a dollar 19 I think I want to move to a foreign land like Alta Dina.

[301] You know, someplace far away where I'm protected.

[302] All right.

[303] You won't be protected there.

[304] I will.

[305] Your family loves me. I mean, yeah, against their better judgment.

[306] After everything you've said about my dad's mustache, he still, like, really likes you.

[307] He made a doll that came to life.

[308] I love Geppetto.

[309] So what's the story?

[310] You see, you went to the internet and here's what I did.

[311] They told me, you have to wait back here where the crowd won't see you.

[312] and I said, okay, and I thought they were leading me to a dressing room, and they led me to the garage at SiriusXM.

[313] I'm not talking about SiriusXM garage, like, this is the garage.

[314] It's a real garage.

[315] How long were you in the garage?

[316] And my car is there, like 20 minutes.

[317] So I just sat on my car and watched other cars come and go, and people would just wave at me, and I go, yeah, hi.

[318] They'd be like, look, it's the girl from the Wendy's logo, and I'd go, hi.

[319] How are you?

[320] Nice to see you.

[321] this is where I am in show business.

[322] I'm sitting on the trunk of my car in a garage.

[323] You're such a big celebrity.

[324] You bet.

[325] It's the biggest.

[326] The very biggest.

[327] All right, we've got to get into it.

[328] We have a very big show today.

[329] I'm excited.

[330] I am, too.

[331] I'm really excited.

[332] A huge star is here.

[333] I think his people made a mistake.

[334] But anyway, we're thrilled that he's here.

[335] He's like, no, he's been on the show several times.

[336] I love this guy.

[337] My guest today is a Grammy award -winning singer -songwriter who released his sixth album subtract earlier this year.

[338] Now he has a new album titled Autumn Variations.

[339] He's so incredibly talented, thrilled he's here.

[340] Let's welcome Ed Sheeran.

[341] Sorry, the seat's wet.

[342] We'll tell you about that later.

[343] It's a shitty show you're on right now.

[344] I will say, I was thinking about this.

[345] I think you came on my show two times, and the first time you came on the show, am I right that you were barefoot when you performed?

[346] No. I feel like I look like a hobbit, but I don't like, I don't practice hobbitisms.

[347] I'm pretty sure you were barefoot.

[348] I took a lot of pills that night.

[349] I don't remember what happened.

[350] No, I do do barefoot.

[351] I remember I went barefoot for like a summer when I was recording.

[352] And I was making a song with Bruno Mars.

[353] And I remember him just being like, just put some shoes on, man. Was it helping you?

[354] Was writing and recording barefoot giving you some kind of special energy like connecting you to the earth?

[355] Not really.

[356] No, no, I was just like, it was hot.

[357] I gave you such an out for doing something so cool, connecting to the vital powers of the earth.

[358] And you just said, no, it was hot.

[359] And we have a lot to talk about because we have some things in common.

[360] I know that you are from England, but you have a lot of Irish heritage.

[361] Yeah, yeah, my dad's Irish, yeah.

[362] And I feel like the redhead is headism.

[363] But did you get a tough time at school for being a redhead?

[364] Yeah, it wasn't just because my hair was red.

[365] Let's just say there were other problems, too.

[366] My personality.

[367] Were you that tall in school, though?

[368] No, I got tall later on.

[369] I got tall very late.

[370] It was like later in high school.

[371] So I was very average height.

[372] I had bright orange hair.

[373] My mother insisted on cutting our hair for us because she didn't want to pay for us to go to a barbershop.

[374] So she would cut it straight across in a bowl cut.

[375] My two front teeth were dead, so I had gray teeth up front.

[376] I was, I could keep going, but it was a fucking train rack.

[377] And then the red hair, and then my name is Conan.

[378] So you put all those things together and it was a terrible time.

[379] What's it like, is there anti -redhead bias in England, you think, at the time that you were growing up?

[380] Yeah, I think it's, I think it's just school, because actually, as soon as I got out of school, like, no one cared.

[381] It wasn't like, I mean, it gets referred to whenever, whenever there's, a review of my album or there's like it's always flame hair or like redhead or like whatever but I guess that's just a way of describing someone but yeah it's uh yeah anything that makes you different I think later becomes an advantage oh 100 % but when you're a kid I just wanted to look like everybody else I did not want to look different when I was a kid I did not want to in any way stand out and then I look like a pinata that had been very hastily assembled and uh but i think it helps like especially going into show business like i had a tiny tiny guitar and i would gig around london and everyone would know me as the fat ginger kid with a small guitar so no no but it was good because i was remembered people were like oh it's that it wasn't like oh that tall good looking bloke with the big guitar it was always like the fat ginger kid with the guitar right people knew who i was did you play a tiny guitar on purpose or it just was more like i'd won a battle of the bands when i was 17 and they gave me a venture to a music store.

[382] And I remember going in the music store and seeing this small guitar and being like, that would be perfect for like traveling.

[383] Because I took trains and tubes everywhere.

[384] So I was like, that would be perfect just to have on my backpack and I'll have all my CDs and pedals and everything in the bag rather than like lugging around the big guitar.

[385] So it actually was more out of ease.

[386] And then it became my thing.

[387] And now that's what I use on stage.

[388] So it's why people think you're 65 feet tall.

[389] Yeah.

[390] All they're using it, their frame of reference is completely off.

[391] I went to go and watch Barbie with some friends and they were these guys in the queue in front of me and they looked around and they went, is that Ed Sharon?

[392] And one of them went, nah, no, Ed Sharon's much taller than that.

[393] I have had many people, and this is not a joke just because you said that I've had many people say to me, you look like Conan O 'Brien if he were tall.

[394] Right.

[395] Because I'm sort of on a six foot four spectrum and people that just knew me for almost 30 years on television think of me as a very just compact person that can fit in their television.

[396] And when this big monster is looming in front of them, you know, one of those balloons that's in front of a car dealership, they don't know.

[397] They just think, well, he can't be him.

[398] So I know I'm here for you to interview me, but I've got to ask about you writing Simpsons and being staff on that.

[399] Oh, cool, yeah.

[400] Sure, go ahead.

[401] I just think, did you write full, full episodes?

[402] Yeah.

[403] And just hand them in and go, like, that's my...

[404] Well, what happens is, And this should be the whole interview, I think.

[405] Ed Shearhan talks to Conan O 'Brien about The Simpsons, and I'm in heaven right now.

[406] That's what I want to know.

[407] Yeah, yeah.

[408] Okay, I'll tell you all about it.

[409] It is funny because it is one of the, now that there's an internet and the clips are, you know, clips circulate.

[410] I can, when I travel around the world or if I've traveled around the UK, they can know me from clips, comedy clips from my show.

[411] But before that, when I would go to the UK, they would not necessarily.

[412] know who I was because a lot of American talk shows weren't shown there, but they would know if The Simpsons came up, they would flip out and they would ask me which episodes I worked on and I would tell them and they would be able to know all those, they would know everything because Simpsons fans are everywhere.

[413] Well, it was in England as well, like it was, we only really had, no one had cable.

[414] So we had BBC 1, BBC 2, ITV and maybe Channel 4.

[415] And BBC 2 every day had two episodes of The Simpsons.

[416] So like you'd get home from school and that would be the thing you watch and it just like I get but never I swear BBC only owned a couple of seasons because it was always the same episodes and like I see new seasons now and you know that never got this you never saw Bart get older it was I think it we we stopped we stopped at like season 10 yeah my kids love it you know it's uh well what's funny is that um you know I was there uh I don't see I'm my Simpsons fans know everything and they get upset that I don't know it because because I was there and I was there, you know, in a fairly early stage, considering how long it's run.

[417] But we would watch the episodes hundreds of times, whereas you probably just wrote them and watched it.

[418] We would work on those ones, but yeah, what would happen is you would pitch a concept for an episode.

[419] So I would go and I'd say, here's what I think should happen.

[420] And I would have all these beats for an episode and ideas for an episode.

[421] And if they liked it, they would, there was a little gong in the room.

[422] And they would, you'd do this once a year.

[423] And they would literally, if they laughed and the executive producer was really laughing, someone would get up and bang the gong and say like that's going to be an episode.

[424] And I remembered the couple of times that they bang the gong when I said my episode and my episodes and I was so excited.

[425] Were you doing late night then or you went from?

[426] Oh, no. God, no. Late night is you have to.

[427] Because they start.

[428] I remember an episode where they rip you on it and you're a late late night ice on it.

[429] But so you would just come on.

[430] It was an homage.

[431] It was not a rip.

[432] Those are my friends.

[433] They would never do that to me. They're comedy writers.

[434] They're very kind.

[435] No, it's funny because, yeah, I was working on The Simpsons and then for a couple of seasons and then I went to audition for this late night show thinking I'll never get this.

[436] I'm a writer on The Simpsons and then tragically got it.

[437] And that's how it felt at the time like, oh shit, but I left.

[438] Was there ever part of you that just like turned up at the writer's room being like, can I chuck in an idea every now and then after that?

[439] Well, you know, it's so funny, I did come back years later and the room is not.

[440] So many people think, oh, my God, you know, this epic television show and this known for its, you know, really good writers.

[441] And I'm just, these people I got to work with are insanely talented.

[442] And the room is just awful.

[443] The room is terrible.

[444] It looks like the worst.

[445] I mean, it did at the time.

[446] I think it's much nicer now.

[447] But there was just a bad shag carpet.

[448] Sofas that, you know, if you're at your first year in college or university and you just get them on the sidewalk.

[449] And we would sit there and eat fried food.

[450] there was a writer that smoked all the time who sat next to me so when I die it'll be because of him and big laugh gang laugh it up and we eat bad food and think and so it wasn't sexy or fun or cool at all but and I remember we played it we all chewed up some caramel and put it together into big blob and mash it up into the ceiling and then tried to get things to stick to it because you'll do anything to pass the time I love that yeah well that's all the time we have Yeah.

[451] Can I just say you're one of the best guests we've ever had on this show?

[452] So are you, you're Catholic?

[453] Were you raised Catholic?

[454] I did communion and all that stuff, but I'm not like practicing.

[455] I'm very much like, I believe in afterlife just because I've had friends pass away, and I think it's depressing not to think that they're in a better place.

[456] You know, but other than that, I completely understand that.

[457] I wouldn't say that I'm like hugely religious.

[458] I mean, I do midnight mass at Christmas and stuff like that.

[459] but it's not like, I'm not like a practicing.

[460] Yeah, we, uh, I mean, I grew up very, very Catholic family and mass all the time.

[461] And so when I'm around and when we, we do on the occasions, when we go to a mass, I can say all the stuff.

[462] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[463] And people that know me are like, what the hell?

[464] You just, and it's like, well, it's in my bone marrow.

[465] I have a, uh, one of my best friends is a Catholic.

[466] He's a godfather of one of my kids.

[467] and when he talks about his ex -girlfriends, he always goes like that.

[468] This is no joke.

[469] I'm not even joking about this, but when my mother, as she got a little older, she had trouble turning her neck.

[470] So you had to back straight out of our driveway in Brookline, Massachusetts, right on the Boston line.

[471] So my mother would just throw the car into reverse, cross herself, and go.

[472] What?

[473] What?

[474] Yeah, and then later they'd be like peeling kids off the back of her car.

[475] Well, that was this.

[476] So one of the things that I was thinking about you today, Ed, because I was thinking about the amazing, absolutely how you made yourself.

[477] I was thinking about it today, which, you know, there are artists out there who are very talented, who are discovered.

[478] But you, as you were talking about earlier, you got this guitar, you're getting on the tube, you're going all over town.

[479] You really were a getting yourself known on YouTube.

[480] And when you got your first hit, it wasn't this, you weren't this produced act that had gone through the machine, which I think is fascinating.

[481] Well, I didn't make it on my looks.

[482] I disagree.

[483] Thank you.

[484] I disagree, because I feel like I'm looking in a mirror.

[485] You're the best -looking man I've ever seen.

[486] Do you know, when I moved to London, you know, I played guitar at school, and I wrote songs at school, and I moved to London, and I quickly realized that I wasn't any good.

[487] And everyone that I was gig, I was 17, I was gigging with, like, 24 -year -olds that had good songs, they sung well, they played guitar.

[488] But I realized that I could outwork them.

[489] I was like, I'm not better than you, but I can do more shows.

[490] I can go and I would book like three shows on a Thursday night and get on the tube and go and play three songs, three songs, three songs.

[491] And I was just like, if I play every night of the week, maybe two times a night, maybe three times a night, and I'm just doing that every day, eventually I'll get really good.

[492] And that is what happened after a while.

[493] It just, you, the practice does make perfect.

[494] Where do you think that work ethic came from?

[495] Do you see it?

[496] I mean, because I do think that sometimes you don't even know where it comes from.

[497] You just have this sense.

[498] I think my dad.

[499] My dad was really tough on us when we were kids to work really hard.

[500] And I was always confused because I was like, but I don't like maths.

[501] I don't like science.

[502] And like, why would I work at something that I don't want to do?

[503] And as soon as I found music, I was like, oh, I'm going to do this every day.

[504] And it was the detriment of like my academicness.

[505] Like I wouldn't say I'm a hugely smart person in academics.

[506] But as soon as I found music, I was like, this is what I'm going to do.

[507] And my dad always said, like, choose someone that you admire and work harder than them.

[508] So, like, my hero when I was a kid was James Blunt.

[509] And when I signed to Atlantic Records, he was on Atlantic Records.

[510] And I said, in his peak year, get me his diary, and we'll do double everything that he did.

[511] And that's exactly what we did.

[512] We just chose all the things and then doubled it.

[513] That's absolutely.

[514] I mean, and first of all, I was talking to you backstage, got past your security.

[515] and uh how did he get in here um but i one of the things that really uh blew me away as you were you were talking to me about how still today you spend most of your time in studio i mean you're with your family obviously but then you're you're in the studio a lot yeah i mean i don't have hobbies so my hobby is music i do two gigs a weekend and i do five days in studio every week i do 10 10 a m to 5 p .m. every day and then that means I can do morning routine with the kids take him to nursery, go to studio, get them back from nursery, put him to bed.

[516] It's like it's a nice routine to be in.

[517] Do you find that there's sometimes people talk about this great inspiration.

[518] They sit down and Elton John will say that sometimes these songs came to him and he sat down and he said the good ones came very quickly.

[519] Totally.

[520] You have to write a lot of shit ones to get the good ones though.

[521] I find that like I my thing I always say So I'm in every day in the studio, and if I get one song a month that's good, I'm so happy.

[522] Because that's an album in a year.

[523] That's 12 songs in a year.

[524] So we would make, like today I've been in, we made three songs.

[525] And like maybe one of them is good, but by the end of the week we'll have like maybe one that's good.

[526] If I get one this month, I'm happy.

[527] There's an old saying that, an old concept that when someone writes their great novel, it's their amazing.

[528] novel.

[529] It means they have nine ones in the drawer.

[530] Yeah, yeah, totally.

[531] And so usually their second novel isn't great because it was one of the ones in the drawer that they just handed to the publisher when they were then a big deal.

[532] That's what someone at my record label said to me when I put out my first record and I was like, I think I could put out my second quite quickly.

[533] And he's like, don't use the offshoots of album one.

[534] Go back in and make an album.

[535] And it was great advice.

[536] So I treat every album as if it's like my debut, going in to make the thing that you're going to give to the world first and then you work it as if it's your debut as well.

[537] This album's a little bit different, though, because this was not that.

[538] It's very much something that I, I was saying it to you in the dressing room, it sort of happened by accident.

[539] It was very much.

[540] Yeah, because you came out with an album quite recently.

[541] Yeah.

[542] And then you follow it up with this album, and I was listening to it today, and I really love it.

[543] And you said, yeah, it actually, it was sort of forming while the other album was forming, which kind of blew my mind.

[544] Yeah, so I had this idea, well, I say I had this idea.

[545] My dad has, my dad's full of great ideas, sometimes not so great, but he, his idea, he said to me, like, there's this composer called Elgar, and Elgar did this thing called Enigma Variations, which is 14 compositions, about 14 of his friends, and he never told anyone who was about, and it was an enigma.

[546] And he said, there's never been a modern version of it.

[547] Wouldn't it be cool if you did a variations record?

[548] So I was like, oh, that's fascinating, actually.

[549] And I was, I was talking to Aaron, who I made the record with, and I was like, we should do this record, base it around the season, and it will be variations of the season with my friend, friends.

[550] And then whilst we were making the record, I had my best friend die, my wife got diagnosed with a tumour, and then I went into a court case, and I wrote loads of songs about that in the space of that month.

[551] And then, because all of those songs were finished quite quickly, that album was done, which became subtracted, but actually we were in making variations.

[552] so after all of that we went back and finished it and it was done but like songs like on if you know my album subtract like the opening two songs were meant to be on autumn variations they were meant to be the first two of autumn variations and it just came that they the two sonics are very different one's quite a sad album and one's quite a sort of hopeful joyous fall album and you think of autumn variations as being more hopeful I think so there's a lot there's a lot more like subtract is pretty much all just doom and gloom and depression and do you know being sad.

[553] We were going through a lot of very intense stuff.

[554] There wasn't much happy moments, but yeah, autumn very, I mean, it's about my friends, so it's my friends like falling in love in September or like breaking up in September or being depressed in September or no one turning up to their birthday party because they're having a sober September, you know, like it's different it's about it's all about September.

[555] Well, no, because the thing is like, I find it weird talking to Americans about, I mean, you call it full, but like, September's great.

[556] But England is shit in November.

[557] Like, autumn in England is not fun.

[558] Whereas you guys, it's all full, and it's apple juice, and everyone's having a great time.

[559] It's a very dark...

[560] It's not here in Los Angeles.

[561] It's a...

[562] Oh, yeah.

[563] Los Angeles, it's just a different kind of fire.

[564] You've got zero seasons, yeah.

[565] It's, uh, yeah, so I think, you know, it gets very, you know, days are really short, gets very dark, very cold, very lonely.

[566] And it's, so that's kind of what was the inspiration of the record that after a month of No, so like three months of summer where you're having all the fun with all the friends and you're going to festivals and you get out and you're in the pub gardens.

[567] Like it suddenly changes very quickly in England which is sort of the inspiration of the record.

[568] But it's all like, it's weird the changes that happened in people's lives.

[569] Like I would have people like having babies and suddenly their life is completely shifted or getting into a new relationship and it's completely shifted.

[570] And it's interesting that after summer there is a switch in people's heads that goes, right, back to work, back to school, it's a different feeling.

[571] Well, it's funny because we're on that schedule when we're kids.

[572] And then, of course, it changes because you got to work through this summer.

[573] You've got to work into the fall.

[574] But I still feel that way.

[575] I still feel like, well, time to get back at it, even though nothing really changed.

[576] It's the same in the two times that it happens in the year of September and January.

[577] Those are the two where you're like, right, okay.

[578] So I was listening to Autumn Variations today, and there was a, there is a song you wrote about England, and you talk about how we get a bad, England gets, how much you love England, but we get a bad reputation because of the weather.

[579] And what's so interesting to me is that, And you talk about how you actually like that weather, I think, because of my genetic, Boston, but also 100 % Irish and everything.

[580] I just love, I love it when it's rainy and foggy.

[581] And everyone else is bitching.

[582] It's a weird one.

[583] I love it.

[584] I'm just so happy.

[585] I would choose, like, genuinely, I would choose the English coastline any time of the year over any other coastline in the world, even if it's like pissing it down with rain.

[586] And it's like, I love swimming in the English sea as well.

[587] It's just cold.

[588] It's like aggressive.

[589] Well, that's just stupid.

[590] No, come on.

[591] No, really, the English sea?

[592] I don't mean, it's got to be, well, actually, no, you're in the Gulf Stream, so it's not freezing.

[593] No, it's cold.

[594] It's cold, yeah, yeah.

[595] I try to give you an out there.

[596] I shop, I have a music, so my whole last record I made, but that song in England I wrote by the sea, and I made subtracted by the sea.

[597] So I was like, oh, I'm going to shoot all the videos.

[598] And one, the director had this idea of like, you should be in the sea and the waves should just be like battering you down.

[599] I was like, cool.

[600] And she was like, we could shoot it in Los Angeles, you know?

[601] And I was like, no, I'll do it in England.

[602] we shot it in December and oh god I definitely like I lost a couple of inches for a couple of days I know I know exactly what you're talking about Ed at least yours came back they're still looking for mine that's it that's amazing I gotta get that image out of my head and moving on you know what amazed me you're obviously you're very young man, especially contrasted with myself, and yet you're so many musical influences are these people that, you know, Eric Clapton.

[603] It was a huge influence on you.

[604] And I think, well, you're very young to be influenced by Eric Clapton, but of course, he's timeless.

[605] The way the Beatles are timeless, the way.

[606] I basically, I just had my dad's record collection.

[607] It's very, like, cliched of, like, that's what I listen to.

[608] But it wasn't until, like, you know, Christmases where maybe an aunt sends you 10 pounds and then you can go out and buy the CD that you want to get.

[609] But I was very much like, I only listened to my dad's record collection because that's what we had in the house.

[610] So I guess I was like 10 or 11 when I started forming my own tastes.

[611] But, but yeah, there was, I mean, my dad has some of my, like, some of my, like, Moon Dance, Van Morrison, I think is like a perfect album for any time.

[612] Like anytime you put that on, it could be like the end of the night, it could be the start of the night.

[613] It could be like dinner.

[614] Like it's just, it's a perfect album.

[615] Do you say your dad is, is he from Belfast?

[616] No, so my dad's dad's dad is from Belfast and my dad's mom's from Wexford.

[617] Yeah, Ben Morrison's from Northern Ireland.

[618] And so I just think you never know where some things are coming to you or why things appeal to you.

[619] He doorstepped me at my hotel.

[620] Like it was like I was in like 2014, I just made thinking out loud and it had become a hit.

[621] And I remember my grand had actually come to the gig and we had a lot of whiskey afterwards.

[622] as you do.

[623] And I'd gone to bed at like four o 'clock in the morning.

[624] And I remember getting this phone call at like six.

[625] I was like really bleary are.

[626] Just like, what?

[627] And the person at the front desk is just like, Van Morrison's here.

[628] He wants to have breakfast with you.

[629] And I was like, no, he's not.

[630] I thought someone was taking the piss.

[631] So I hung up.

[632] And then they rung back and they're like, no, no, no, he's actually downstairs.

[633] He wants to have breakfast with you.

[634] And I was like, oh, cool.

[635] Shoured really quickly, went down.

[636] And yeah, just essentially had breakfast with him.

[637] It was really surreal because I was still drunk.

[638] I was still like seven o 'clock in the morning.

[639] And I was just like, it's this.

[640] But he's really sweet.

[641] I've got to sort of, like, meet him a couple of times since then.

[642] But it was, like, such a nice thing.

[643] He's like, he's like one of my heroes.

[644] And people always say, don't meet your heroes.

[645] And it was such a, like, not that thing.

[646] It was just sitting down.

[647] He was really interested in Spotify.

[648] He wants to talk about that.

[649] You were explaining it to him?

[650] Then you explained how VCRs work.

[651] It was relatively new at this point.

[652] All I knew is that on my first album, I remember, because no one really put their records on Spotify's beginning with, I didn't really know what the...

[653] What is this?

[654] Yeah.

[655] How does it work?

[656] And I was like, I want my...

[657] I want everyone to have my music.

[658] And I just remember never selling a record in Sweden.

[659] And it was always like...

[660] Records sold in Sweden was zero.

[661] And then I'd go there and I'd play the biggest gigs of my European tour.

[662] And I'm like, this is fucking weird.

[663] The correlation.

[664] Like, have I sold no records here?

[665] But the most people want to come and see the songs?

[666] And it's because Spotify was so accessible.

[667] I see.

[668] I think that's what's good about music now.

[669] And it's more difficult to break through with new songs because there's 100 ,000 new songs released every day but like the quality will inevitably go up because you know like back when I was a teenager and buying albums and I think this is why piracy became a thing is I think record labels took the piss they had like one great song that they put on an album with a bunch of filler and they'd sell it to you for 22 dollars or 22 pounds and you'd buy it and be like I feel ripped off here and you'd be like I wish I could just download that one song that I liked and I think That's why it all, they basically pushed it too far, ripped off people too much.

[670] Right.

[671] I'm curious, you mentioned don't meet your heroes.

[672] I was shocked you came.

[673] Oh, my God.

[674] Son up, please.

[675] Oh, God.

[676] He is funny.

[677] Ed.

[678] He is funny.

[679] The point is, Ed.

[680] Who are other people that you met that, that obviously, I mean, you have achieved this incredible success, this insane success.

[681] You get to meet whoever you want now.

[682] In the music world, were there people where you thought, I mean, have you checked off every box?

[683] You must have checked off every box by now.

[684] My rule was always, I'm never going to seek out someone to meet them.

[685] I'm going to wait until they want to meet me. I remember doing SNL, not even doing SNL.

[686] I'd made my album with Rick Rubin, and Rick was also making Eminem's album at the time.

[687] And Rick was like, I'm going to do SNL with Eminem.

[688] You want to come down?

[689] And I was like, yeah, I'd love to.

[690] And then when I was there, Rick was like, do you want to meet him?

[691] And I was like, no. Like, I want to, but I want him to be like, hey, I like your stuff.

[692] So I just waited.

[693] And four years later was then the time that he was like, oh, I like your stuff.

[694] We should do a song.

[695] And now we're actually friends.

[696] And I feel like that's like a good.

[697] I completely understand what you're talking about.

[698] I don't want the picture and the, I want to.

[699] No. No. No, and my constant assumption is, which I mean, I don't know, I think it's maybe the healthier way to approach it, but my constant assumption is, oh, they don't want to meet me. Precisely, yeah.

[700] And I definitely don't want to ever have that feeling of, well, here's a nice little treat for them.

[701] Hello!

[702] And they're not that happy to see me. I would die.

[703] But I think that that's sometimes why it's don't meet your heroes, because people are premature with it.

[704] The guy that made me to start songwriting was Damien Rice.

[705] And he is like a bit reclusive and like, you know, at my peak, I'd met his sister and stuff.

[706] And I was like, do you think he'd ever, like, want a hang or anything?

[707] And she's just like, I don't know.

[708] I guess you'll see him at some point.

[709] And, you know, I guess I met him when I was 12.

[710] And then when I was, I played in Iceland in Reykavik.

[711] And it just so happened he was there.

[712] And that's the time we hung out and we spent a good 48 hours together.

[713] We like went on a hike.

[714] We got on a hot pool.

[715] And it was like one of those things of like, this is why I waited.

[716] This is like, it's, it was a really nice interaction.

[717] Yeah, you waited until it was organic and it was a real, a real moment rather than people pushing you towards people.

[718] Yeah.

[719] Forced.

[720] Yeah.

[721] But no, I'd say I've met all, apart from, I haven't met Dylan.

[722] That's the only one that I would love to meet.

[723] But again, like, if you meet Bob Dylan prematurely, like.

[724] I've told this story, and I met him in the worst way.

[725] But I think it bears repeating, which is, I was with my, I was with my, yeah, naked in the sauna.

[726] I was, yeah, naked in the sauna.

[727] I was, yeah, naked in the sauna.

[728] I was.

[729] was with my friend, um, right after a good swim in the North Sea.

[730] Uh, no, I went, I went, I went to see Dylan play.

[731] And of course, I'm with my good friend Jimmy Vivino, who's an amazing, uh, guitar player and my bandleader for a long time.

[732] And he, of course, the next thing I knew we were backstage.

[733] And I've been doing the show for a bunch of years at that point.

[734] And suddenly I find myself in this room.

[735] And I wasn't prepared and there was just this sort of people moved around and then I was just kind of pushed forward and I'm standing Bob Dylan's right where you are and I'm right where I am and he is that phase where he has the tiny little drawn on mustache and like the gun gunslinger flat hat and he's looking at me and he's got that little mustache and he went hey I know you from the TV and I thought okay well at least I'm in now and I can start talking to Bob Dylan and I swear to God this happened just as I'm about to say oh you know Bob I hear Conan Conan Hey how's it going And I look over and it's vice president Al Gore And he's like come here Come here you know let's talk about the environment And Yeah Al Gore is cool and everything That's fine but Bob Dylan And then Bob I turned around and Bob Dylan Was like gotta go and ran and like ran away And I was cop blocked by the vice president of the United States.

[736] And I never saw Bob Dylan again.

[737] And that just rings in my head.

[738] I know you from the TV.

[739] And then that's it.

[740] I think that's it.

[741] That's all I'm going to get.

[742] I had it with, I was at the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the Q awards.

[743] And Tarantino was there.

[744] And my manager's wife was like, you're going to say hi.

[745] And I was like, no, no, honestly, I don't want to meet him unless he wants me. She's like, you have to, you have to, I'm like, no, no, I really don't.

[746] And then the more and more we're drunk later on in the night she just goes up to him and she's just like, everybody wants to meet you and I'm like, oh no. And same thing.

[747] Just like, hey man. Yeah, great.

[748] Like your films.

[749] Thanks.

[750] I'll see about the people, I mean, that you've, I mean, like, yes, you know Elton John and Clapton, but you also, Beyonce and Jay -Z, you've hung out with them.

[751] You've had, you've broken bread with them, yes?

[752] You've had food with them.

[753] Yeah, well, I kind of, like, I got to know them through, really weirdly.

[754] actually.

[755] It was, I played, do you know what Jules Holland is?

[756] It's like it.

[757] I played Jules Holland's Hootanani, which is like the New Year's Eve show.

[758] And you play a cover.

[759] And they said, what cover do you want to do?

[760] And I do Stevie Wonder's Master Blaster because I love the tune.

[761] And two months later was the Grammys.

[762] And the guy that was running the Grammy's music, Ken Ehrlich was like, we're going to do this Stevie Wonder tribute concert for Stevie.

[763] He's going to be in the audience.

[764] It's going to be with his band.

[765] Greg Phillingains is going to be in it.

[766] We've got all these people playing.

[767] Do you want to play?

[768] And I was like, yeah.

[769] And he's like, what do you want to play?

[770] And I went, well, I'll play Master Blaster.

[771] I just, I literally just played it.

[772] And he was like, great.

[773] And then like two days later, he rung up and went, oh, Beyonce wants to do Master Blaster.

[774] And I was, and I was like, that's totally fine.

[775] I'll do, I was made to love her.

[776] And then he rung back and was like, would you sing it with Beyonce?

[777] And I was like, uh, yeah.

[778] And then, you have a different life than I do.

[779] I remember getting to, because I'm not, it was with, it was with Beyonce and, and Gary Clark, Jr. And Gary Clark Jr. is one of the best, like, living, living guitarist.

[780] Yes.

[781] And I just remember, like, I'm not a very talented guitarist.

[782] I can play acoustic guitar and chords.

[783] And I remember Ken coming up and being like, I've got this idea.

[784] Juuling guitars.

[785] You and Gary.

[786] And I was like, I can play like a C chord.

[787] But anyway, so we did that.

[788] And then we all met at that thing.

[789] And then I then did, like, other shows with her.

[790] And then it was like one of these ones of like, you don't ask, you don't get.

[791] I'd made this song perfect.

[792] that was starting to pick up steam and become a hit.

[793] And someone said, oh, we should put out like a duet version of this because I'd done like an Italian version with Andrea Bichelli.

[794] And they were like, who would you want to do it?

[795] And I was like, well, realistically, I don't really want to do a duet unless it's Beyonce.

[796] And they were like, well, why don't you ask her?

[797] And she said yes.

[798] And it was like, I was so surprised.

[799] I was kind of rung her up on the, I was like, do you want to do it?

[800] And she's like, yeah, I'm in.

[801] And so.

[802] It was one of those things.

[803] simple i could just ring her up no no no no what am i misunderstanding sona no no no it's just ed not me no no yeah ed can you cannot no do you know what i've learned what i've learned in this in this business said if you don't try no no but the worst thing the worst thing that someone can say is no so if you prepare yourself for the no like i always say to you know if i'm doing something like i'm on this tour at the moment and occasionally i'll be in cities where like so like eminent M came on in Detroit.

[804] But what I said to him was like, you can cancel on the day.

[805] Like, I'm not going to feel weird if you suddenly go, I'm not coming.

[806] So it's very much like I'm always prepared for the no. And when it's a yes, it's happy days.

[807] I still will wake up in the morning and it doesn't quite make sense to me that, you know, some of the things that I've been able to experience and people have been able to meet doesn't, it still doesn't quite add up.

[808] But do you prefer this to the, to the, the late night show because obviously late night you get five minutes with a guest i loved the doing the late night show i absolutely loved it but in terms of deep dives and interviews yeah i did it for you know almost 30 years and and i got to the point where i thought i really want to try to flex these different muscles and we started doing the podcast and three years before we wrapped up the late night show and what i found was in the old world you know you could do a song maybe you can do a song and then we can have a quick chat, but there was no way we could do this.

[809] And this is really meaningful to me because I always get so stressed out in the late night shows because I'm like, I have to have a good story.

[810] Because if I don't have a good story, then my three minutes is wasted.

[811] So you're kind of there and you're doing like a run of 20 late night shows in all these different countries.

[812] Right.

[813] And you're like, well, I can't use the same.

[814] I find it very like, I much prefer this.

[815] Well, because this to me is, you know, all those years.

[816] And again, I loved doing it.

[817] And I think it's an amazing format and I enjoyed it.

[818] But this to me is a much more human scale.

[819] So I can, that old way of people coming out and being under that pressure, and it's like, you know, hey, Ed, how you doing?

[820] How am I doing?

[821] Well, the other day, I walked down the street and I had a ham sandwich, ketchup, you know, and.

[822] Do you know what I mean, though?

[823] And it's just like, well, that's, first of all, that's not how anybody talks.

[824] And it's also annoying, you know, And so it's, but this, and also the fact that you flip it around and you can ask me a question, ask anybody a question.

[825] But I find that so much more interesting as well, because also the people that listen to your podcast are probably more interest in you than they are any other guests.

[826] Oh, I don't know.

[827] I bet there's like, I bet there's so many deep dive stories that like he hasn't even come out with.

[828] Well, it's funny.

[829] Who's, Gourley's done the research.

[830] Who's the weirdest person you've got high with?

[831] Well, okay, that's a little bit of a trick question because that's not really my thing.

[832] I mean, I'm very square.

[833] You've definitely done it in your life.

[834] I know you've definitely hung out with Willie Nelson and gone, I've got to have to.

[835] Well, does high include beverages?

[836] Yeah, okay, okay.

[837] Okay, but if we're going beverages, like dribbly drunk.

[838] Oh, dribbly drunk.

[839] Tribly drunk, yeah.

[840] Oh, well, then I'm with historical figures who are long dead.

[841] I mean they don't even in my mind it's just like oh Lincoln you're the best you know Churchill I mean it doesn't even matter at that point I'm just talking to everybody who ever lived oh Lincoln I didn't want to meet you until you said you wanted to meet me you know when Mahatma Gandhi said he wanted to meet Coton where's your so but I mean who like for you who have you gotten smashed around that was just because it wow yeah I mean that's that's kind of I would say that's kind of my thing like I love I love taking out random people oh do we have a party for you after the show it's about nine inches from here I've had you know a fun one actually I was in I was in Melbourne recently and I was with my wife and my mother -in -law and Snoop Dogg was playing and I was like we got to go like like we're like like When, I guess he plays in England, but it's never like when I have a night off or whatever, whatever.

[842] So we went, I just, I remember him meeting my mother -in -law and being like, What's up, Queen?

[843] And I was like, yes.

[844] That's the best.

[845] But I went, I went with, I've sort of got quite close friends with Russell Crow over the years, and he's really close with Snoop Dog.

[846] They have sort of like smoke offs and stuff.

[847] I love these, Russell, bro.

[848] No, but they're like, they're like really.

[849] Oh, Dame Judy Dench and Snoop Dog.

[850] They're really cool, but, but so I was in, I was, and I don't, I don't really smoke at all.

[851] And I was in, I was in, I was in the dressing room and they're just, you know, blunt for blunt for blunt for blunt.

[852] And I'm like, I guess at some point during the night, I have to just to be like, nice, mate, the Snoot Dog.

[853] And so I kind of was having this conversation with him.

[854] And I was like, this is good, like, a good memory.

[855] Like, I have a conversation.

[856] I'm drinking my wine and blah, blah, blah.

[857] And he's like, do you want someone?

[858] I was like, okay, now's the time.

[859] I'm like, I've had a good amount of conversation.

[860] So I have a bit.

[861] And I'm like, I don't feel too bad.

[862] Like, this is good.

[863] and then I have a bit more, then I have a bit more, then I have a bit more.

[864] Oh, my God.

[865] I just remember looking at him being like, I can't see right now.

[866] I know I have eyes.

[867] They were like wide open.

[868] I was like, I just, it's.

[869] So this is a true story.

[870] Snoop Dog did our show and he has his entourage.

[871] This is the late night show.

[872] And this is back in the 90s of 2000s.

[873] And we're, you know, NBC.

[874] And it's a relatively small studio.

[875] He comes with a big honorage.

[876] And they have one of the dressing rooms that adjoin the studio.

[877] And they all go into that dressing room and shut the door.

[878] And what I don't know is they're all, I mean, they're smoking so much pot so intensely in this room.

[879] And it's getting filtered in through.

[880] I'm not kidding.

[881] Studio 6A, this is a real thing.

[882] So I go out.

[883] But do, bam, bam, bam.

[884] Hey, everybody.

[885] Well, anyway, you know, President Clinton today.

[886] And the crowd was laughing at the setups to the joke.

[887] So I'd be saying like, well, you know, there was a bad earthquake in Alaska today.

[888] Jesus Christ.

[889] And the crowd was getting, like, high.

[890] And then you could smell it.

[891] And we were like, this is a, this is, this is, this is wrong on so many levels.

[892] It was bring your infant day.

[893] It was just so screwed up.

[894] But it was, I mean, what are you going to do?

[895] And everyone understands all that's Snoop Dog.

[896] So it's, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[897] I feel like I'd be disappointed if he wasn't higher.

[898] Like, I guess he's, that's...

[899] He'll never disappoint you.

[900] There's an artist.

[901] There's an artist that I work quite a lot with called Burner Boy.

[902] And I would say he's, that's the most I've ever seen anyone ingest weed.

[903] And I work, as I said, 10 to 5.

[904] And he came to the studio and I had a gig later on at night.

[905] And it was very much the studio door was closed and just smoke, smoke, And I remember walking on stage at the gig being like, I don't know if I can...

[906] Same thing, like, I'm not quite here.

[907] It's funny, I don't, well, Sony, you can attest, like, I don't, I never smoked, just like, that's not my thing.

[908] No. It's not my thing.

[909] And I think, I just, it never took with me. No, but your humor is perfect for it.

[910] Your sense of humor is perfect for someone who's high.

[911] Right.

[912] It's like it's written by someone who's high all the time.

[913] Yeah.

[914] That's why people are shocked that he doesn't do it, because.

[915] I think of things as if I'm, yeah.

[916] I just assumed that, like, obviously, like, I didn't assume you did it, but I just assumed occasionally you might be like, oh, when in Rome, I'm here with.

[917] I've tried, yeah, I have in situations when the situation is right, and people are, I'm like, all right, I'll do that and just, it doesn't really, I don't get stranger or I'm already strange.

[918] So it just, they cancel each other out, you know, I think, was it, what's the last one of the, I think the last show we did.

[919] Who is it that?

[920] Oh, Seth Rogen.

[921] Seth Rogen wanted me to smoke with him on the air.

[922] He's another one I feel like you have to.

[923] You do.

[924] Yeah, it's like a national crime if you don't, you know.

[925] Least favorite guest on the chat show.

[926] You've got to be honest.

[927] You've got to be honest.

[928] You've got to be honest.

[929] Well, I actually, I can because I actually, I gave this up.

[930] And this is someone from a long time ago, but it was when I was first starting the show.

[931] And we had, I mean, this amazing singer, actress, Earth a kid.

[932] kit was on the show.

[933] And a lot of people know her from the 1960s Batman.

[934] She played Catwoman a little bit.

[935] But she was on the show and she was very tough to talk to.

[936] And I was brand new.

[937] And so I put most of it on myself.

[938] But I'd say things like, oh, you dated James Dean, you know, back in 1954 and she'd say, well, so what?

[939] Why are you asking me?

[940] That's not even a question.

[941] It's just a statement.

[942] Yeah, it's true.

[943] I guess, that's on, as I said, I was brand new, Ed.

[944] Now I think this is my least favorite.

[945] So who would be, because you would have regular guests, who'd be the one that you knew the booking was coming and to be like, oh, I love those.

[946] Well, you know, oh, my God.

[947] I mean, there's so many, but.

[948] But the one that you were like super, super pumped for every time they came.

[949] Norm McDonald's.

[950] uh was meaningful to me because that so so so and and will feral people that would bring they would bring something to the table i mean will feral came out once and he he had prepared it but he came out and he had a bird on his shoulder and you know how will can just commit to something with those eyes and right up front he said no questions about the bird to just, it's this giant white cockatoo.

[951] And he, you know, we'd be talking for a little bit, and I'd be like, yeah, and the bird would start to move around on his shoulder and be easy and he'd go, is there a problem there?

[952] And he'd be like, we're not talking about the bird.

[953] It was just fantastic.

[954] But I mean, so I loved it when someone would bring something that would turn the whole thing upside down on its head, you know?

[955] Have I answered enough of your questions?

[956] Hey, I have a new album coming out.

[957] I'm really excited about.

[958] I'm sorry.

[959] It's called, it's called on variations.

[960] I don't know.

[961] I just, I was very much looking forward to this today.

[962] And I'll have to tell you saying, my, I have a brother, Neil, who's a couple of years older than me and doesn't follow new music, doesn't know who a lot of the music, I mean, I think his musical collection stopped at like 1967.

[963] And I was talking to him on a cell phone today, just upstairs.

[964] And I said, well, I got to go, because I'm going to talk to Ed Scho.

[965] And he's like, oh, my God.

[966] Sheeran?

[967] That guy's huge.

[968] And then his attitude was kind of, why is he talking to you?

[969] Thanks, man. I'd say, fuck you.

[970] Ed, an absolute delight that you came by.

[971] And I do want to mention that you're going to do, which sounded amazing to me, a contest to have let fans make potential videos.

[972] Is that something that's really going to happen?

[973] The bonus record of the album is going to be live from 14 fans living rooms.

[974] So I just, I doors.

[975] I doorstopped fans.

[976] I found out who all my top fans were.

[977] And I knock on their door and I've got a mic on and a guitar.

[978] And they go, and I walk in their living room and I play one song from the album and it's recorded.

[979] And then that's going to be the bonus album.

[980] So that's like the live album, live from fans living rooms.

[981] And then I wanted to get basically there's so, I have fans all over the world that are super talented and creative in, you know, places like Bulgaria or, you know, like anywhere.

[982] And I wanted to just basically be like, the people that make my music videos are usually connected in some way to Hollywood or like the British film scene.

[983] And I was like, I want to actually spread the net and let anyone be creative.

[984] So it's basically that they've been submitting ideas.

[985] This is great.

[986] And then I choose 14 ideas in 14 countries and then fund them basically.

[987] So, yeah, I'm excited to.

[988] I've kind of got to manage my expectations on this record though because, you know, there's not a. single that goes to radio or like a big major label push, but it's basically just, it's an album that I made that it is what it is.

[989] I listen to it today.

[990] It's really beautiful.

[991] I loved it.

[992] And like I say, this will lead you to the next thing.

[993] So you don't know.

[994] I don't worry about you.

[995] I don't think anyone in this room worries about you.

[996] I'm so happy that you're on this planet and you're such a delightful, funny and inquisitive, really inquisitive person here.

[997] You'll The first person I've talked to in a while that gave a shit about me. So, hey, Ed Sheeran, thank you so much for being here.

[998] You're welcome in our world anytime.

[999] Thank you.

[1000] And continued massive success.

[1001] Nice one, man. Thank you.

[1002] Very much.

[1003] Ed Sheeran, everybody.

[1004] Good God, that is a delightful young man. He really is.

[1005] He really is, like, magical.

[1006] He is so funny and quick.

[1007] And, I mean, I could have talked to him for like six hours.

[1008] Talented and really cool.

[1009] I could have done without the questions about you.

[1010] That's why you liked him so much.

[1011] I know.

[1012] Yeah.

[1013] He just really seemed to dig what I was doing.

[1014] No, he's, he is.

[1015] We need, you know, some more gingers out there to kill it.

[1016] You know what I mean?

[1017] Yeah.

[1018] Yeah.

[1019] Let's do it for the gingers.

[1020] Yeah.

[1021] We got one now killing it.

[1022] He was just, I mean, really, I'm thinking.

[1023] He's just like so great and so natural.

[1024] I do have to say, I know this is like a huge generalization, but over the years, whenever I talk to people from the U .K., they just have this conversational gift, you know?

[1025] Yeah.

[1026] They just are natural, like, hey, let's shoot the shit.

[1027] Let's talk, which I really like.

[1028] I think it's nice, too.

[1029] I don't know.

[1030] It must be something about there.

[1031] No, go ahead.

[1032] You've done it again, Sona.

[1033] Go ahead.

[1034] You brought an amazing show to a halt.

[1035] They're what?

[1036] You're that person on the bus that pulls on the break.

[1037] It's not one of the stops.

[1038] Yeah, I want to get off here.

[1039] What were you going to say?

[1040] They're porridge?

[1041] No. What do you say to what you said?

[1042] I guess, yes, yes, there is something about.

[1043] But you specifically were heading toward a noun.

[1044] No, I wasn't.

[1045] I wasn't.

[1046] The sentence ended at there.

[1047] That's where it ended.

[1048] There is something about there.

[1049] That was the sentence.

[1050] So why did you say about there, meaning that place?

[1051] That place.

[1052] Oh, oh.

[1053] The United Kingdom.

[1054] There wasn't more.

[1055] There's something about there.

[1056] Oh, T -H -E -R -E.

[1057] T -H -E -R -E.

[1058] Oh, period.

[1059] Okay.

[1060] Yes.

[1061] Yeah.

[1062] And you thought that sentence, you thought that sentence and said, I'm going to speak that.

[1063] It's nice that you think I thought.

[1064] I'm sending this from the brain right out the face.

[1065] I don't think about the face.

[1066] Hey, brain, send it right on out.

[1067] It's ready to go.

[1068] No notes.

[1069] I didn't think about it.

[1070] Most of what I say, I'm saying it.

[1071] You know what?

[1072] That is.

[1073] as I say.

[1074] That is your magic.

[1075] It is your magic.

[1076] Oh, thank you.

[1077] You are, yeah, you know that.

[1078] I love you.

[1079] You know, I love you.

[1080] You say these things, and I just think, what the hell?

[1081] What the hell's happening?

[1082] All right.

[1083] You're welcome.

[1084] Well, now we have to pay some bills.

[1085] And actually, I believe we're going to bring Blay back out here, right?

[1086] I'm already out here.

[1087] I think, I'm, yeah.

[1088] Oh, yes.

[1089] Okay, good.

[1090] Have you been there the whole time?

[1091] This is called a live ad read.

[1092] Yeah.

[1093] Are you ready?

[1094] Is everyone ready?

[1095] There we go.

[1096] These guys are.

[1097] Ready to go.

[1098] I love it.

[1099] This is an insanely good crowd.

[1100] Yeah, I know.

[1101] Advertising!

[1102] You know what?

[1103] I feel very good about what I'm about to say.

[1104] I really do.

[1105] And I'm going to say this.

[1106] I feel very good about there.

[1107] This special live episode of Don O 'Brien Needs a Friend is brought to you by Samsung and the freestyle second -gen portable projector.

[1108] Yes.

[1109] Now, I'm going to tell you true story.

[1110] I was backstage in the garage, cooling my heels, when I thought I heard Jeff Goldblum's voice.

[1111] And I was like, am I imagining that I'm hearing Jeff Goldblum's voice?

[1112] And then I found out that they're playing this teaser reel of like previous podcast moments.

[1113] And they're playing it on this projector.

[1114] And I was asking, like, what is this projector?

[1115] And it looked really cool.

[1116] Blay, tell us about this.

[1117] Yeah, it's fantastic.

[1118] It's tiny.

[1119] It's right there.

[1120] It's tiny.

[1121] And we thought it'd be really cool.

[1122] to show, we've never done this before to show a montage of some of our favorite podcast moments to this crowd on the freestyle second gen. And I think they loved it, right guys?

[1123] So you put this, this is my understanding, you put this anywhere, right?

[1124] And it will, and it automatically, it knows, it knows how to fill the space and make the focus just perfect.

[1125] And you can be outside, you can be in the woods, you can be on top of a dirigible.

[1126] Anywhere you want to be, don't The dirigible thing is not true.

[1127] Do not buy a dirigible.

[1128] And she's crisp.

[1129] What's that?

[1130] She's crisp.

[1131] The projector, it's crisp.

[1132] I didn't know there was a gender assignment.

[1133] She's a crisp.

[1134] She's a crisp.

[1135] Freestyle second -gen portable projector is a she.

[1136] Well, it sounds very cool to me. It says right here, and if I'm reading this correctly, that this new freestyle, this new freestyle, Has the gaming hub built in?

[1137] Wow, and you can stream thousands of games.

[1138] No console required.

[1139] You take it on the go.

[1140] Blake, have you tried doing this?

[1141] Actually, I have.

[1142] I've been playing Starfield.

[1143] Do you guys know Starfield?

[1144] I've played Starfield through the freestyle second gen, and it's on my wall, which is 100 inches, and it's so big.

[1145] I have to physically look around for bad guys.

[1146] It's amazing.

[1147] Yeah, if you think 100 inches is big, I got news for you, What?

[1148] Why?

[1149] Why do I set a model?

[1150] Why?

[1151] No. No, that was a test to see if you were a classy crowd or not.

[1152] No. And you are not.

[1153] You're a disappointing group.

[1154] Awful.

[1155] That's a crass joke.

[1156] That was a bad, bad joke.

[1157] A terrible joke, which I said on purpose.

[1158] Okay.

[1159] Being the pro, I am.

[1160] Anyway, so you've played Starfield, uh -huh, on the old freestyle second -gen.

[1161] You ever infiltrate the Crimson Fleet while you were at it?

[1162] Yes.

[1163] I do.

[1164] I'm doing that right now, actually.

[1165] Exactly.

[1166] Well, anyway.

[1167] How do you know that?

[1168] I know things, and it's written here.

[1169] Anyway, I'm also thrilled to announce.

[1170] We're going to do a clueless gamer later this year.

[1171] Yeah, people love those clueless gamers.

[1172] I can't tell you, wherever I travel in the world, people come up to me, for some reason, especially in Nordic countries, and they're like, clueless gamer, more of this.

[1173] Anyway, I am Gorgie.

[1174] We're doing a Clueless Gamer later this year, streaming Starfield through Xbox Game Pass, all thanks to Samsung.

[1175] So this is a fine partnership.

[1176] I'm glad that we're working with those guys.

[1177] Very, very exciting.

[1178] That's right.

[1179] So check out the Samsung freestyle second -gen today, and stay tuned for a new Clueless Gamer later this year.

[1180] Streaming games on Samsung Gaming Hub requires a high -speed internet connection, additional gaming service subscription, and compatible controller required.

[1181] Ladies and gentlemen, let's bring out David Hopping.

[1182] David Hopping.

[1183] Hello there, Willoughby.

[1184] I was standing there and I was like, he's going to do it.

[1185] Okay, quick backstory.

[1186] We were driving here.

[1187] Okay, I was driving.

[1188] You were giving directions.

[1189] And then you said, take a left on Willoughby.

[1190] And I thought Willoughby would be a funny name to start calling you.

[1191] And then I started for the rest of the day, I've been going, hey, Willoughby.

[1192] And he's like, Oh, what?

[1193] And just because you brought up that street name, but I kind of like it.

[1194] Oh, Willoughby.

[1195] Yeah, I like it.

[1196] Well, anyway, Willoughby, what's up?

[1197] You're going to take some audience questions.

[1198] Only if I want to, and I do.

[1199] Do you want to?

[1200] Yes.

[1201] Okay.

[1202] Very much.

[1203] If anyone has a question for Conan, raise your hand.

[1204] What is your name?

[1205] My name's Hayley.

[1206] Hey ,ley.

[1207] How are you?

[1208] I'm good.

[1209] How are you guys?

[1210] I'm good.

[1211] This is so surreal seeing you guys live.

[1212] You guys are just as funny as in person as you are on audio tapes.

[1213] This has been so cool.

[1214] Audio, you talk like me. Yeah, I don't know why I said that.

[1215] It's a new audio tape for the young ones.

[1216] Send it out via post immediately.

[1217] Oh, my gosh.

[1218] Well, my question for all of you guys is, so Norm McDonald is easily one of my favorite comedians of all time.

[1219] Yeah, he's phenomenal.

[1220] So do you guys have any favorite, like, bits, moments, or memories that he's ever done?

[1221] Like, I know he's known for so many of his viral clips, but just I know you knew him on a personal level.

[1222] So just anything that you remember.

[1223] One of the things that I remember that Norm did, I don't think many people know about it.

[1224] I think you can find it if you look.

[1225] It was so random.

[1226] Norman would just do these random things.

[1227] And so Sully Sullenberger, the pilot, famously, his plane's taking off in New York, one of the engines goes out because I think there's a bird strike and he, or something goes wrong and he lands it on the Hudson River and everyone gets off safely.

[1228] And he, you know, he's got this mustache and he's cool and he saved everybody and everybody got Sully Sullenberger fever.

[1229] and then, not for a long time, but anyway.

[1230] But then I think Tom Hanks made a movie.

[1231] And then Norm came on and he had this idea that he wanted to make.

[1232] You know, it's too bad.

[1233] I produced a Sully Sullenberger movie before he safely landed the plane.

[1234] And I'm like, this was his idea and he made this.

[1235] So he came on and he had shot it.

[1236] And it's a total lie, but he's like, yeah, I'm kind of mad about that Sullenberger guy.

[1237] And I said, what are you mad about?

[1238] Well, I made a movie with him before he did that.

[1239] Why did you do that?

[1240] I just chose a pilot, and I made a movie with him, and then he goes and does this thing.

[1241] And it's really just Selenberger.

[1242] It's Norm playing Sully Sullenberger.

[1243] And he grabbed our makeup woman, Deb Pullman, and said, you're going to be in it, too, as my wife.

[1244] Literally, while he's in the makeup chair.

[1245] Oh, yeah.

[1246] What are you?

[1247] What's your name?

[1248] Deb, you're going to be in it, too.

[1249] And she's like, okay, didn't even change.

[1250] she's just wearing the clothes she wore to work and so he's going like all right buddy it's your captain Sully Sullenberger and we're going to now land the plane oh who's here my wife's here and Deb walked in and went hi how are you on I love you too dear and then she left and he was like all right here we go and we've landed so there you go I think we're all good and then the credits came down it was the randomest weirdest idea And he made it.

[1251] And you can see it, go look for it.

[1252] And it was one of these things that's not, you know, it never trended or whatever.

[1253] But it's just out there.

[1254] And you've just seen Norm.

[1255] My favorite thing he did as a comedian was intentionally waste people's time.

[1256] And it was so he didn't care in this beautiful way.

[1257] Because he, and he, it was just glorious.

[1258] And I look at it now and I just see him doing this bit and think, wow.

[1259] I mean, no one else would do that.

[1260] No one else would make that up, grab the makeup woman, make her be his wife, not give a shit, and then leave.

[1261] And it was really funny.

[1262] So that was my favorite.

[1263] Hello.

[1264] What is your name, please?

[1265] My name is Brendan.

[1266] Brendan, how are you?

[1267] I'm good.

[1268] I'm also from Worcester.

[1269] I know your family is from Worcester Mass. Yeah, they're from Worcester Mass. Yes.

[1270] It's a great place.

[1271] That's not my question.

[1272] My question is, could you talk a little bit about, like, how you got cast for your cameo and the Weird Al movie?

[1273] and what shooting that was like and about it being on set and stuff for that?

[1274] Well, there was no audition, that's for sure.

[1275] Weird Al made this movie and he just was calling people that he knew that he had kind of a connection to and I love Weird Al and he had been on our show many times and always been very gracious and I just get this call out of the blue.

[1276] Conan, will you be in the Weird Al movie?

[1277] He sent me a text and he just said, will you be in the Weird Al movie as Andy Warhol?

[1278] And the correct answer to any question like this is yes.

[1279] I just didn't, my, my philosophy is when someone says, hey, do you want to do super weird thing?

[1280] Are you down for it?

[1281] I just say yes.

[1282] Oh, I mean, just not long ago.

[1283] This is just my point.

[1284] Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson were hanging around our offices in the Larchmont area, not too far from here.

[1285] And I'm chatting with Woody Harrelson.

[1286] And at one point, he went, hey, Conan, would you go in 50 -50 on a houseboat with me in Amsterdam?

[1287] What?

[1288] And I said, yes, I would.

[1289] I will, Woody Harrelson.

[1290] What?

[1291] And I said it because I thought, there's a good chance he'll never remember this.

[1292] But the answer is you don't go, no, I got to talk to my wife.

[1293] When Woody Harrelson asked you if you're going 50 -50 on a houseboat in Amsterdam, the answer is, yes, I will.

[1294] Oh, my God.

[1295] I've never heard back from him.

[1296] But I went home and I told my wife we may be going in 50 -50 on a houseboat in Amsterdam with Woody Harrelson.

[1297] She said, what do you mean?

[1298] Where is this houseboat?

[1299] And I went, don't worry.

[1300] I don't think it's ever happening.

[1301] But if it does, off the story forever.

[1302] That's my dream.

[1303] We could just do a whole other podcast called Conan and Woody floating around in Amsterdam.

[1304] Oh, that went well.

[1305] Oh, I probably shouldn't say that.

[1306] Hi, Conan.

[1307] Hi, Matt.

[1308] What is your name?

[1309] Danny.

[1310] Danny.

[1311] That's your brother's name.

[1312] That is my brother's name.

[1313] Oh, that is your brother.

[1314] He has a great name.

[1315] I'm very excited to be here.

[1316] I love your work so much and it's very important your work and it's very amazing so just congratulations on the podcast and maybe you're being sarcastic no no I am being when you got to the very important part I think he's making fun of us because I need a laugh we need a laugh and you guys bring us laugh my question is and for the three of you what is your favorite film and I know this is putting you on the spot but like do you have an answer for that favorite film for Matt Sonang and Conan that's a tough question question, but I think honestly my favorite film is Casino Royale.

[1317] I'll just say it.

[1318] That's a good answer.

[1319] Yeah, Daniel Craig and, you know, Bond.

[1320] It's just, it makes me. I mean, it's a hard question for me. I do separate it.

[1321] I think I've talked about this.

[1322] I separated in genres.

[1323] So, you know, like my favorite comedy is Galaxy Quest.

[1324] My favorite rom -com is Moonstruck.

[1325] My favorite kind of dromedy, I guess, would be adaptation.

[1326] I don't know.

[1327] What about famous?

[1328] What's your favorite male stripper movie?

[1329] Oh, that's a tough one.

[1330] I would say Magic Mike.

[1331] No, but I...

[1332] When Magic Mike came out, I just...

[1333] You went missing for a couple of weeks.

[1334] Well, we did a bit, because I do go see the Midnight shows.

[1335] Yes.

[1336] And we did a bit.

[1337] That one I like more, because Joe Mangonello has that very great scene in the liquor store where he's trying to make the girl smile.

[1338] So he's just like strip teasing with a bottle of Coke.

[1339] and I'm like, I get this.

[1340] This is real cinema.

[1341] I don't know about you guys, but I would watch, I would never miss an episode if Sona had a movie critic show.

[1342] Yes, yes.

[1343] I would watch it.

[1344] I would like everything.

[1345] Yeah, well, we've talked about it.

[1346] I like everything.

[1347] So I would be like, that was a good movie.

[1348] There was lighting, and they did it, and someone wrote it, and they shot it, and that's exciting to that.

[1349] Yeah, this happened all the time where on the late night show when we would go and look at movies, you would always come with me and I'd see them and, you know, whatever.

[1350] I'm a human being, somewhat discerning.

[1351] But, you know, so you'd watch things and you'd be like, yeah, that one was okay, and every time we watched anything, Sonny was like, that was fantastic!

[1352] And I would say, really?

[1353] You liked Glipp -Clorp and the flip club, and you would say, it didn't cost me anything, and those people made that.

[1354] they made it and it was on the screen and it started and then two hours later it ended and now I'm having wine that you're paying for that does sound good what about you chief you know I would say I think sometimes I think of it as and this sounds morbid but like what's your like you have like a day to live and I think of it not in a I think of it in a positive way like it's the end of my life and I get to have no but I just get to like here's what I think of what's the food I want I want like a really good Pinot Noir I want a really good pizza from Naples.

[1355] And I think I want to watch The Godfather.

[1356] And I know that that's a movie that a lot of people say.

[1357] And if I can get Godfather one and two and make it one movie, that's definitely my answer.

[1358] It's your last day.

[1359] I mean, you're going to lose some precious time if you do that.

[1360] Please, this isn't for four years.

[1361] But why are you laughing?

[1362] Everyone's laughing.

[1363] Everyone's laughing at your death.

[1364] Well, let's go ahead and cue up the Godfather.

[1365] You've got to laugh.

[1366] Thank you.

[1367] All right, I think we got time for one more.

[1368] Come on, Willoughby.

[1369] Hi.

[1370] Thank you.

[1371] Hi, my name is Megan.

[1372] Hey, Megan.

[1373] How are you?

[1374] Good.

[1375] How are you?

[1376] Good.

[1377] But nervous.

[1378] Oh, don't be nervous.

[1379] We're, as you can tell, we're just, uh...

[1380] We're just hanging out.

[1381] We're fools hanging out.

[1382] Yeah, yeah.

[1383] Or idiot.

[1384] Well, yeah, kind of, yeah.

[1385] My question's for whoever wants to answer, but when you were a kid and somebody would ask you what you wanted to be when you grew up, what would you say?

[1386] Oh, podcast sidekick.

[1387] Oh, podcast sidekick.

[1388] You were in the sandbox.

[1389] You made yourself a third chair.

[1390] Nailed it.

[1391] A little pine cone for a microphone.

[1392] Spoke once every 14 minutes.

[1393] What about you, Sonna?

[1394] What did you want to be?

[1395] I know this might be shocking.

[1396] I didn't have very many ambitions.

[1397] You were blazing up at four years old I honestly Looking back on it I don't think I was ever like Oh I can't wait to be a doctor Thank God Well Sona you lost another one What are you going to do?

[1398] He had a full life He was 26 He came in for a hernia operation You killed him Well Who's up for some Margie's.

[1399] Post -op Margie's.

[1400] No, I don't, I really didn't have any, like, I know it's sad, but I was just kind of like, that sounds cool.

[1401] I'll try that.

[1402] I know I wanted to work in TV.

[1403] That's the only thing I really loved, so I knew that.

[1404] But I didn't know what.

[1405] Right.

[1406] So I did it.

[1407] Yeah.

[1408] Check.

[1409] Yeah.

[1410] You did you do it.

[1411] I wanted to, when I was a kid, I really did want to be an entertainer, and I thought, And I've said this before, but back then, pre -streaming and just three television stations and not great reception, you just watched what was on and mostly what was on Channel 38 or Channel 56 were old movies because that's what they ran because they didn't have enough content.

[1412] And so I grew up watching old movies and old musicals and I thought that's what entertainment was.

[1413] So in like the late 1970s, I was thinking, I need to know how to tap dance.

[1414] I need to learn how to talk real fast in an old -time voice.

[1415] You know, I need to get like one of those straw hats and say, hey, you'll, let's get over here.

[1416] There's a fire at McCready's barn, let's go, you know?

[1417] And then like, I better know a few tunes, you know?

[1418] And, uh, batten up your overcoat when the wind blows free.

[1419] Take good.

[1420] Care of yourself.

[1421] You belong to me. Ode, audio.

[1422] And then I'd go to school and do this shit and the beatings would commence.

[1423] Here's this kid with a bull haircut.

[1424] Oh, whoa.

[1425] Hey, everybody, my name's Conan.

[1426] That's a cool name.

[1427] Ladies line up, and I'll kiss you later.

[1428] I'm batting up your Roma, Colin.

[1429] And then all these kids, you know, from Somerville and stuff, would just be line.

[1430] Oh, I'll beat him first.

[1431] You beat him second.

[1432] They had meetings.

[1433] I didn't know I wanted to be a bully when I grew up until I saw this guy.

[1434] They had conversation.

[1435] He inspired me to be a bully.

[1436] Yeah.

[1437] They were very organized bullies.

[1438] Here's how we're going to do it.

[1439] Jason, you're first.

[1440] Chrisie, your second.

[1441] Yeah, exactly.

[1442] I'll hit him primarily in the throat.

[1443] Soft tissue.

[1444] I love bullies having a coverage.

[1445] Bullies, really organized bullies.

[1446] They have a flow chart and how it's going to work.

[1447] They've prepared.

[1448] Visually.

[1449] Yeah.

[1450] Everybody look at your handout.

[1451] And I'm in the corner.

[1452] Fellas, hurry it up.

[1453] You're just standing there.

[1454] I've got tap dancing lessons to get, too.

[1455] These toes are ready to trink them.

[1456] You've been a great crowd.

[1457] This has been a lot of fun.

[1458] Thank you so much.

[1459] Conan O 'Brien needs a friend.

[1460] With Conan O 'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley.

[1461] Produced by me, Matt Gourley.

[1462] Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Nick Liao, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson and Cody Fisher at Earwolf.

[1463] Theme song by The White Stripes.

[1464] Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.

[1465] Take it away, Jimmy.

[1466] Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.

[1467] engineering by Eduardo Perez, additional production support by Mars Melnick, talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brick Con. You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode.

[1468] Got a question for Conan?

[1469] Call the Team Coco hotline at 669 -587 -2847 and leave a message.

[1470] It too could be featured on a future episode.

[1471] And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

[1472] This special live recorded episode of Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend was brought to you by Samsung.

[1473] I want to say thank you to Samsung for sponsoring this special episode of Conan O 'Brien Needs a Friend.

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[1478] With smart entertainment built in, you can access everything.

[1479] All of your apps, workouts, recipes, and shows in one portable smart theater.

[1480] And this thing's incredible.

[1481] We set the freestyle up in the garage during our live episode, gave a demo.

[1482] It was fantastic.

[1483] We did.

[1484] We showed the audience how it works and stuff.

[1485] Yeah, I was there.

[1486] You don't have to tell me. I'm telling them.

[1487] I was just telling you because I thought, I don't know, maybe you're on something.

[1488] What I like, it sounds idiot proof, and I need things that are idiot proof.

[1489] Me too.

[1490] I like it when the machine takes care of everything.

[1491] The machine.

[1492] That's how old I am.

[1493] Hmm.

[1494] Samsung has a new machine.

[1495] I was very impressed with this.

[1496] I'm going to get one.

[1497] The freestyle second -gen portable projector from Samsung allows you to stream thousands of games.

[1498] No console required.

[1499] So sick of consoles.

[1500] So tired of them.

[1501] Crowding my life.

[1502] Be sure to follow at Team Coco for updates on the next Clueless Gamer Releasing later this year.

[1503] Streaming games on Samsung Gaming Hub requires a high -speed internet connection, additional gaming service subscription, and compatible controller required.