MFM Minisode 335

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Hello.

[2] And welcome to my favorite murder.

[3] That's the minisode.

[4] That's the minisode.

[5] That's right.

[6] It gets harder every time.

[7] It doesn't get easier every time.

[8] I forgot where I was.

[9] I don't even know.

[10] Do you want to go first?

[11] Sure.

[12] You want me to go first.

[13] Okay.

[14] We put out a call for working for UPS stores, I guess, at some point in our lives.

[15] And I got one for you.

[16] Hell yes.

[17] Okay.

[18] Hi, Georgia and Karen.

[19] In Minnesota 327, thank you, you asked for what it's like to work at UPS or the post office.

[20] Wait a second.

[21] This is like we just put this call out and this person immediately, they like put their stuff down and responded immediately.

[22] I got a couple of those actually.

[23] Wow.

[24] Exciting.

[25] Well, my dad owns two UPS stores.

[26] Wow.

[27] They're buy one, get one free.

[28] And I have lots of weird stories of odd things that people have shipped, but I want to to tell you about my favorite.

[29] It is very illegal to ship certain things without proper permits like alcohol, explosives, guns, and human body parts.

[30] Someone came in trying to ship a penis.

[31] My dad had to make some phone calls.

[32] Okay.

[33] So I feel like I remember you guys once talking about the Icelandic Falunogical Museum.

[34] But I can't scroll through the episodes to verify that, so I'll just say that this is the world's only genuine penis museum.

[35] They have over 200 penises in their collection for a lot of different animals.

[36] Well, apparently someone in my area had a petrified human penis that was being donated to the museum.

[37] For those who don't know, when something is petrified, it has all the organic matter replaced with minerals over thousands of years and basically turns organic matter into rocks.

[38] Oh, thank you.

[39] Petrified poop is cool.

[40] Petrified wood is pretty common.

[41] Petrified penis, very rare.

[42] I have no clue how someone in my town got a hold of one.

[43] I'd just like to argue that petrified poop is not cool.

[44] I don't want that becoming a trend because it is not cool.

[45] Okay, fair enough.

[46] Well, someone within UPS declared that a petrified penis has no organic matter and is therefore not a body part.

[47] It's a rock so we could legally ship it.

[48] So my dad packed and shipped a penis to the penis museum.

[49] Stay sexy and I hope your penis gets petrified when you die, Anna.

[50] Thanks for those well -wishes, Anna.

[51] I thought, and now I can't remember if we really were the ones that talked about the Phallus Museum, but I assumed that it was like the representation of Fallas' historically.

[52] Yes.

[53] It was very common and probably Iceland, probably Viking culture mate.

[54] Rome, for sure.

[55] Not the actual member.

[56] Not the real deal, but I mean.

[57] Well, now you've got to go.

[58] Now book my flowers.

[59] Now, field trip.

[60] Airbnb, me. Okay, here's a, this is different.

[61] This is different than what you just did.

[62] Great.

[63] Which is what it's all about on these minisodes.

[64] Truly.

[65] This is a subject line of my first email is stay out of the woods, English countryside edition.

[66] Hello to my funny American friends, which I just find the most touching intro.

[67] It's darling.

[68] This story is a reminder to your UK listeners to also stay out of the four.

[69] forest.

[70] I'm from a small village about 10 miles from the beautiful city of Bath.

[71] Bath or Baoth, as the British call it.

[72] Bath is a real tourist destination due to its elegant Georgian buildings, Roman baths, and connection to Jane Austen.

[73] You know, in the middle of Bath, there is a big public bath that the Romans built back in the day, and you can still go there to this day.

[74] Like the Sutro Baths in San Francisco?

[75] Yes, but way more of of this, of the bath, Roman baths.

[76] It's like the building is there.

[77] The actual, it looks like a gigantic swimming pool.

[78] I want to go.

[79] Yes, that sounds amazing.

[80] Okay.

[81] However, and I know that because of Jane Austen and all the movies, all her movies that I love.

[82] Okay, so however, just outside the city is one of the most unnerving places I have ever been to.

[83] And this is coming from someone who grew up in a 17th century house with which circles etched into the walls and a tunnel in the basement.

[84] that led to the local abbey.

[85] Oh.

[86] I mean, what the hell?

[87] This is the destination episode, truly.

[88] For real.

[89] Okay.

[90] Sally in the Woods is a narrow road that passes through a deeply wooded rural area outside bath.

[91] For a lot of locals, it is a no -go place, especially after dark, and this is why.

[92] There's a story that the ghost of a little girl haunts the woods at night, wandering from the deserted tower deep in the heart of the forest and out into the road.

[93] Walkers regularly hear the sound of a child screaming from deep in the woods, which are also eerily absent of birdsong.

[94] A ghostly figure has been seen appearing from between the trees, and most chillingly, the road has been the sight of eight fatal car crashes, seven of which are unexplained.

[95] There are different theories about the origins of the area's eerie reputation, The recurring ghostly sightings are thought to be that of a murdered little girl from the 18th century called Sally.

[96] It is said that this is the dark -haired girl in a white dress, stepping out into the road at night directly in front of cars, causing them to swerve and crash.

[97] It's horrifying.

[98] Another theory is that Sally was a local woman who was evicted from her home by her landlord when her husband died and lived in a hut in the woods, becoming a witch who's still home.

[99] haunts the area.

[100] The least interesting possibility for the origin of the area's strange name is that it comes from the military term to Sally, meaning to rush the enemy, which had its origins in the Civil War.

[101] There are other subtle -named places relating to battles in the area, such as the delightful Slaughterford.

[102] I, like many others, try to avoid driving through the area at night as it is such a disconcerting place.

[103] A few years ago, my mom and I walked around the area and found the old tower called Brown's Folly where the girl Sally is said to have been imprisoned without food and water until she died.

[104] Whilst the woods are beautiful, there is an undeniably eerie feel to them and you couldn't pay me to walk anywhere near that tower at night.

[105] Although I live in London now, I still consider that area as home.

[106] My childhood house, however, feels much sadder since my mom is no longer there.

[107] She was its heart.

[108] My lovely mother died three months after I had my first baby.

[109] But I am trying to be as positive, loving, and joyful as she was.

[110] You two have walked beside me in my sadness and kept me company in the absolute loneliness of grief.

[111] Thank you.

[112] SSDGM and be gentle with people.

[113] You don't know the wounds they are concealing.

[114] EXX.

[115] Oh, E. What a perfect letter.

[116] I mean, truly that one had it all.

[117] Yeah.

[118] I mean, we really went on a roller coaster that was so beautiful.

[119] And I want to go to all of the places that you name in your email so badly now.

[120] That seems like a dream vacation to me. Oh, my God.

[121] That's lovely.

[122] Yeah.

[123] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[124] Absolutely.

[125] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[126] Exactly.

[127] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.

[128] But did you know that they also power.

[129] in -person sales?

[130] That's right.

[131] Shopify is the sound of selling everywhere, online, in store, on social media, and beyond.

[132] Give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.

[133] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.

[134] So give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.

[135] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.

[136] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales.

[137] And if you're a business owner, you can too.

[138] Connect with customers in line and online.

[139] Do retail right with Shopify.

[140] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.

[141] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.

[142] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.

[143] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[144] Goodbye.

[145] Okay, this one's called reincarnated twin.

[146] Karen, Georgia, Stephen, in all caps, and the rest of the family.

[147] I have been waiting for some reincarnated kid stories.

[148] I saw James the pilot's story on the ghost inside my child.

[149] Great show.

[150] Many more of these kinds of tales.

[151] And it has lived rent -free in my head for years.

[152] That's the one I covered with a little boy thought he was the World War II pilot.

[153] Okay, I'll never forget it.

[154] As a small child, I assume when someone dies, they automatically reincarnated.

[155] And it wasn't until I was told about heaven, quote, that I even considered reincarnation might not be the default.

[156] I have had a few spooky experiences myself, but nothing too noteworthy.

[157] Nothing too noteworthy.

[158] What the fuck?

[159] Cut to me bathing my three -year -old twin daughters one evening.

[160] The chattier of my twins started talking about how much she likes the water even after she crashed.

[161] I pressed her for more information since I wasn't aware my toddler was involved in any aquatic tomfoolery.

[162] She replied, well, that one time I crashed, the water was super cold, but I was a mommy then.

[163] She trails off while gazing up at the skylight like a small veteran of war.

[164] I felt a rush of excitement.

[165] This was it.

[166] I got my weirdo.

[167] She goes on to tell me that she was once a mommy with black hair.

[168] She's currently blonde in this existence.

[169] And she was on a boat with her children, remembered being very cold water, and then she woke up as my baby.

[170] I asked her if she remembers an iceberg.

[171] No dice, L -O -L.

[172] She's almost seven now and no longer speaks about her adventure.

[173] and sailing gone awry.

[174] However, when you ask if she'd like to be a mommy someday, she still replies, no thanks, not after last time.

[175] Oh.

[176] Can you imagine a little sad girl?

[177] She's got a cigarette in one hand.

[178] She's like, I've been through it.

[179] A lot of loss, a lot of pain.

[180] Stay sexy and stay out of cold water, Kendall.

[181] God, Kendall.

[182] That's so intense.

[183] That's perfect.

[184] That's what she want.

[185] Also, I just, every time people write in and tell us these stories where it sounds like they're by themselves and their child just turns to them and says the most like horror movie line.

[186] I'm always just like, God damn, it's like must be fun to retail.

[187] But in like the first time around it must have just been like, oh my God, I'm going to throw up.

[188] Silence.

[189] Oh my God.

[190] Okay.

[191] Well, on the topic of kids.

[192] Okay.

[193] I won't read you the subject line of this one.

[194] I'll just read it to you.

[195] It says, hi, cuties.

[196] Let's get into it.

[197] My dad used to do some volunteer dental work in Honduras.

[198] And then it says, don't worry, he's a dentist.

[199] That's a great clarification.

[200] Thank you.

[201] It's very important.

[202] And that is where our story takes place.

[203] One of my dad's colleagues was in Honduras on a volunteer trip and for some reason brought along his wife and 11 -year -old son.

[204] While they were driving, my dad's colleague, we'll call him Bill, got shot in the leg in a drive -by.

[205] I don't know what the motive was for the shooting, but the perps fled the scene and left Bill bleeding out on a dirt road.

[206] in a foreign country.

[207] Bill's son, we'll call him Tommy, was a Boy Scout and remembered how to make a homemade tourniquet with a belt and a stick from his wilderness first aid training.

[208] Turnicates are an extremely risky method of stopping blood flow, because if they're on a limb for more than 15 minutes, your chances of saving that limb from needing amputation become extremely low.

[209] Still, Tommy successfully created a tourniquet on his dad's leg, and the mom drove them to the nearest hospital.

[210] They made it there in good time and the surgeon let them know the bill could be saved with a blood transfusion.

[211] Unfortunately, this hospital was fresh out of Bill's blood type and there were no other hospitals near enough to risk moving him.

[212] And then it says he was hooped, which I've never heard that expression before.

[213] Me neither.

[214] I'd love to know what it means and where it's from.

[215] Okay.

[216] That is until the surgeon realized that he had the same blood type as Bill and could give some of his own blood.

[217] The surgery on Bill's leg commenced while the surgeon pumped his own blood into Bill.

[218] Was this extremely dangerous?

[219] Yes.

[220] Was it badass?

[221] Also yes.

[222] By some miracle, the surgeon successfully completed this surgery despite being actively drained of his own blood in the process.

[223] That is, holy shit.

[224] Thanks to the quick thinking of Tommy and the surgeon, Bill was saved and so is his leg.

[225] You better believe that when my dad was telling me this story, I was taking mental notes so I could relay it to my murder besties.

[226] Thank you so much for bringing me comfort when I'm anxious and giving me a constant that I can rely on when I feel like I'm losing a grasp on my life.

[227] Back at you.

[228] That's how I feel about it.

[229] Yeah.

[230] You too have brought so much happiness into so many people's lives that you don't even know.

[231] Stay sexy and learn first aid, Emily.

[232] Too.

[233] Can you fucking believe that story?

[234] That guy is Superman.

[235] That doctor is Superman.

[236] That is a beautiful example of people in the medical industry who are dedicated to saving people.

[237] It is incredible.

[238] Yeah, find the helpers.

[239] Find the helpers when you're bleeding out on a road in Honduras.

[240] My last one's called The Summer of Big Sid.

[241] Hi, MFF team.

[242] My mom grew up on a small family farm in West Michigan on a street that was populated almost entirely by her cousins in the 70s.

[243] Ooh, fun.

[244] In 1978, a small circus was in town, and they were housing all the animals just up the road at another nearby farm.

[245] Close enough that my mom remembers falling asleep to the sounds of lions roaring.

[246] Ooh.

[247] One morning in June, the snake handler went out to the pen to feed Big Sid, a seven -year -old python that was 20 feet long and 140 pounds.

[248] That's a nope.

[249] That's no, thank you.

[250] Only to find the pen empty.

[251] Big Sid escaped into the fields, gone.

[252] People panicked.

[253] Parents were scared, warned to keep small animals and children inside, but the farm cousins felt a little differently.

[254] They were thrilled.

[255] This was excitement and an opportunity for mischief that they rarely saw, usually filling their summers with stealing watermelons from the field and hanging mailboxes from the power lines.

[256] They took to draping hoses across the road and in the bushes, shaking it and running away as snake -paranoid bikers screamed and ran.

[257] Calling the police to report that they had spotted Big Sid.

[258] It was now July.

[259] Big Sid had been missing for weeks, and Big Sid fever had taken over the town.

[260] Songs were written, t -shirts were sold, snake -themed food was selling out everywhere.

[261] Then, exactly a month after Big Sid had escaped, a biker and his wife spotted a tail sticking out of the bushes on the side of the road.

[262] not a hose this time.

[263] The husband grabbed the tail and hung on while his wife ran to my mom's neighbor's house to call the sheriff.

[264] A call was made over the radio and it eventually took 14 men to finally capture the 20 -foot pipe -on who had been a community celebrity.

[265] I've included a link to the great article about the summer of Big Sid, which has an incredible collection of photos.

[266] A lot of them then and the photos are related to me, great uncles, etc. etc. And the summer of Big Sid is still a favorite story at family reunions and Christmas parties.

[267] Stay sexy and don't keep pythons in wooded pens, Kat.

[268] If I was there at the summer of Big Sid, I would never stop talking about it.

[269] I would bring it up every time I ate dinner with anyone besides my immediate family.

[270] The merch must have been fucking aces to the like 1970s ringer shirt, you know, with like a cartoon of a huge python.

[271] Totally top hat.

[272] Absolutely top hat.

[273] Smoking a pipe.

[274] What else?

[275] Eating a child.

[276] Also, when it said snake -themed or python -themed food, I was like spaghetti?

[277] Hot dogs?

[278] A really long hot dog?

[279] Well, I was wondering, because this was in Michigan, and Vince is, and in 1978, so Vince was like three.

[280] And he's had a lifelong fear of snakes.

[281] And he doesn't remember why.

[282] So I was like, I wonder if he remembers Big Sid.

[283] You might need to print up some photos and very slowly introduce them to him.

[284] Like, we're going to just walk through this slowly.

[285] You can stop any time.

[286] Should I do a like a police lineup of snakes and be like, which one scared you?

[287] Who hurt you?

[288] Point it out to me. I'll take care of them.

[289] Just these snakes that go out of frame on the bottom and top because they're too long.

[290] Wow, that's a good one.

[291] That's actually a good thing to call for is like, did anything happen in your town?

[292] Yeah.

[293] like this big Sid, the summer of Big Sid, where shirts were made.

[294] You know, it wasn't like the worst thing in the world.

[295] It was almost like, you know, it just, it happened.

[296] This thing fever?

[297] Yes.

[298] Where everyone just went nuts over some crazy thing that was like, like the giant peach.

[299] Yeah.

[300] I don't know why that.

[301] Oh, maybe I know what, James and the giant peach, giant snake.

[302] Yep.

[303] Giant stuff.

[304] Yeah.

[305] It makes me think of the 89 earthquake in San Francisco.

[306] And like four hours later, there were.

[307] people selling, I Survived 89 earthquake, like on the side of the highway?

[308] What if they just made one for every year and they, like, in their fucking storage unit, they have one for like 72.

[309] I survived the 73.

[310] Finally.

[311] It'll always come up.

[312] It paid off.

[313] It just says, a family tradition from Appalachia, short and light.

[314] And it starts, hello to my friends from the internet and all affiliated pets.

[315] You asked for family superstitions and traditions, and I have a fun one from Appalachia.

[316] Appalachia.

[317] My family all comes from the mountains of southwestern Virginia and North Carolina.

[318] Think moonshine, NASCAR, and haunted farmhouses.

[319] When I was growing up, my grandma, Norma Gay, and her sisters, Maggie, Dorsey, and Millie taught us to do the money dance.

[320] They say they learned it from their mother.

[321] On the night of the full moon, you go outside and you stand where you can see the moon, and you take your wallet, purse, or even your pocket, you open it, you hold it towards the moon, and you say, fill her up, fill her up, fill her up.

[322] And then you turn around three times clockwise, that's it.

[323] And it always, in all caps, works.

[324] If you remember to do it, you get some money.

[325] Sometimes you find a little cash you forgot in your house or your car.

[326] Sometimes you get a random check or a refund you weren't expecting.

[327] Once I got a small bonus at work.

[328] I make my friends do it and they always say it's silly, but I reply with what my grandma says in her.

[329] thick southern accent.

[330] Girl, do you lack money or not?

[331] I don't know if that was Appalachian per se, just southern.

[332] It was great.

[333] And they do it.

[334] After years of doing the money dance, I recently looked it up.

[335] I've never heard of anyone else doing it, but it might be a thing.

[336] It may be an ancient tradition from Scotland, Ireland, and other Celtic people from when they worship nature.

[337] In other words, witches and pagans.

[338] I love hearing these family traditions and I love you guys.

[339] Thanks for always speaking up for women everywhere.

[340] Stay sexy and do ancient pagan ceremonies for cash.

[341] Amanda, she hurt.

[342] Well, now you have a bunch of murderinos that that's their new tradition.

[343] I mean, I believe in it.

[344] I didn't know this particularly, but there's nothing like when you're super broke and you find a $10 bill in your winter coat pocket.

[345] Oh, my God, dude.

[346] My favorite.

[347] Yeah.

[348] Oh, that's it.

[349] That's what you're just read another one.

[350] randomly.

[351] It seriously gets harder as we do this, not easier.

[352] It doesn't make sense.

[353] No, it doesn't make any sense.

[354] But thank you for writing in or just listening, whichever side you're on today.

[355] We appreciate you.

[356] Just know you can always switch sides.

[357] Yeah, totally.

[358] And stay sexy.

[359] And don't get murdered.

[360] Goodbye.

[361] Elvis, do you want a cookie?

[362] This has been an exactly right production.

[363] Our producer is Alejandra Keck.

[364] And this episode was engineered and mixed by Stephen Ray Morris.

[365] Stephen, email your hometowns and fucking hoorays to My Favorite Murder at gmail .com.

[366] Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder and Twitter at MyFave Murder.

[367] Goodbye.

[368] Follow My Favorite Murder on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you like to listen so you don't miss an episode.

[369] If you like what you hear, rate and review the show.

[370] Visit exactly right store .com to purchase My Favorite Murder merch.