#711 - Brian Redban

[0] Do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

[1] We are live.

[2] Hello, Brian Red Band.

[3] Hey, Joe.

[4] What's going on, fella?

[5] Not much.

[6] Crazy week.

[7] Very crazy week.

[8] Murder at the Comedy Store.

[9] Ugh, that's insane.

[10] I was supposed to go down there that night, too.

[11] Me too.

[12] I decided the day of, I had too much shit to do that day and in the morning, and I said, you know what, I don't need to do a set tonight.

[13] I was going to do the stand -up on the spot show, which was on before the roast battle show.

[14] And I guess there was a show going on in the main room.

[15] It was one of those air quotes, urban air quote.

[16] Yeah.

[17] They scratch records and they have more melanin.

[18] And some shit went down.

[19] And not that it matters, it was a box show.

[20] Obviously, it could have been a white show.

[21] It was, I don't believe it was anybody in the show.

[22] I think it was just people in the audience.

[23] There was a guy on a patio.

[24] And obviously, I have like 15th hand information.

[25] but the story is that this guy just walked right up to this guy and just shot him a bunch of times yeah it's weird how uh they sent you that china did one of those reenactments of it where oh those commercials or the cgis rather cgis and it's really ridiculous how they show it and so i've been uh showing it around because a lot of us uh are always there Tuesday nights and rose the bartender was standing right there she you know she helped afterwards why by putting you know, towels and stuff on the guy.

[26] A lot of people at Francisco Ramos, which were standing right next to him, Matt Edgar.

[27] A lot of our friends were hanging out on the patio because roast battle was going on.

[28] And it's so, you know, crowded for Rose Battle that a lot of us just sit in the front patio and watch it.

[29] Let's watch the Chinese reenactment.

[30] First of all, note how everyone's white.

[31] Except that guy.

[32] So was it from there?

[33] Wow, it does look like the comedy store.

[34] Is that where it happened from?

[35] No, they're saying that, what Rose is saying, that this is not the side.

[36] came on it was more right foot front in the middle you know the entrance the and was he that far away they're also saying he ran across the street which is another thing a lot of people say that he got into a car and the car went down the street other people were saying he didn't get in a car and it's interesting because there were so many people there but yet they haven't released anything about the the shooter except that he had a hoodie on not like color of hoodie height nothing which was odd you know but it happened so fast they say I don't know how those things usually work.

[37] I don't know if they give up all the information, like, about the suspect.

[38] The problem is if you tell people what it was, like, here's a, there's a really weird thing that happens when people see stuff.

[39] People see things, and then the recollection of what they actually saw oftentimes is way off.

[40] Like, they've done these experiments with people, where they've put them in stressful situations, like a fake bank robbery, and then they ask them to describe.

[41] what happened and people they get it so wrong and they think in their head that it's right i mean i'm sure i've got some memories in my head like that that are all fucked up and i'm sure you have some in your head i just think i think what our memory we would like to think it's like some stuff written down on paper or a video that you can watch and review but it's not it's it's it's fucking very very strange especially when it comes to something like a murder or someone steps out and boom just shoot somebody so if you say we're looking for a 5 foot 10 black male with a red hoodie, people are going to find that guy.

[42] They're going to see it.

[43] They're going to think it.

[44] But if you say we're looking for a 5 foot 11 thin white male with a British accent, then they'll say, I saw that guy.

[45] I know it was him.

[46] There's going to be a certain amount of people that will tell you.

[47] Even though they saw a black guy in their head, they'll see that 5 foot tall 11 English guy.

[48] And they'll go, yes, he was.

[49] I did think he was English.

[50] like in their head, especially with like trauma and the fear of the instance, they're notoriously unreliable.

[51] That's why like when scientists talk about anecdotal evidence and evidence of people's experiences, when you're trying to talk about like paranormal shit especially, that's why people say, dude, you can't tell me what I saw.

[52] I know what I saw.

[53] Do you really?

[54] Do you really know what you saw?

[55] Because I don't know what I saw a lot of times.

[56] Like if you looked at my memory just from like yesterday, it's a blur of some sense.

[57] snapshots, you know, and I had a great day.

[58] I wasn't drunk, hanging out with the family, we picked out some pumpkins, saw a fucking pig race, went to this farm place where they, you know, they let you pick out your own pumpkin.

[59] It's fun.

[60] A bunch of kids.

[61] It was cute.

[62] We had a good time.

[63] Went in a corn maze.

[64] You know, but my memory, my important thing is like totally sober, having a great time, lots of laughs.

[65] But my memory is like, oh yeah, then we did that.

[66] And then we did, that too i had some that yeah yeah i had a sandwich and these these like this idea that you know we have this infallible memory i think when you start putting out information like uh this is what the guy definitely looked like based on who based on who said who said it definitely looks like that the people that saw the shooting hmm okay if you don't have a photo you better be real careful what you say because these people that saw the shooting man boy i mean some of them might be good at it but We all know somebody who fucking sucks at remembering stories.

[67] You know, we all have that one person that is terrible at it.

[68] Especially in a time of panic.

[69] I know when I got robbed, I remember he had a fake beard, but that's about it.

[70] Like, I didn't, like, he had some kind of coat, but I don't remember, like, I was staring at him.

[71] I should be able to know, like, oh, yeah, he had a purple shirt on, he had, you know.

[72] Isn't it funny that fake beards are not allowed, but if you are a man and you wear a toupee, you can go through TSA with it?

[73] they'll leave that stupid fake hair glued to your head that's so strange but if you try to go through TSA with a fake mustache you'd be like what the fuck are you trying to pull you can go in there with a mop of hair I wonder how long your fake hair can be before they go listen you fuck take that thing off could you go in there with like a giant lion's mane like if you went in there with some crazy if you were just stone cold bald and you went in there with a glued on Fabio wig, like a full Fabio that goes all the way down to your ass, or even crazier.

[74] Like, there was a dude that I was at the House of Blues in Houston a couple weeks ago, and it was great.

[75] It was awesome.

[76] Me and Ian Edwards.

[77] And there was a dude who's been growing his hair for 14 years.

[78] It works there.

[79] I got a picture of a homeboy.

[80] Oh.

[81] Is it a long ponytail?

[82] Is that, like, super no, no. He went the dreadlock route.

[83] It just takes one guy to have like try to put a bomb in his hair piece to we have like a line where everyone has to get their like touquets like you know shoveled off or scrape well there's not enough people that have big hair like that where you would have to like look into it but yeah if if if people if there was a lot of people running around with hair like that they would start searching your hair definitely 100 % but those radio wave things that they go through here's homeboy see his hair holy shit yeah it goes all the way down to his ass like snakes excuse me almost down to his knees that shit's got smell it probably smells great pockets of nest in there There's all kinds of living art forms in there.

[84] Yeah.

[85] But the, what was I going to say?

[86] Oh, but you can, if that was fake, like, there's no way you could wear hair that long that's fake.

[87] Because now you're wearing like some crazy costume or something.

[88] Like it has to be within the cultural norm, it has to be like culturally acceptable length hair, you know?

[89] Like, do you remember when that guy Phil Spector was on trial for murder?

[90] that really crazy fuck Phil Spector who Jamie probably knows who he has more than both of us because he had that thing the wall of sound that he had kind of created he kind of created a new way of producing music is that correct?

[91] Is that the best way to describe it?

[92] Yeah, you're pretty, yeah, that's good.

[93] Yeah, but apparently he loved putting guns in people's faces.

[94] He was just a fucking nut and he showed up for trial.

[95] Look at that one, look at that wig.

[96] He showed up for trial wearing the different wigs, right?

[97] Didn't he wear a couple different kinds?

[98] He wore...

[99] Just that one?

[100] No, what about that one?

[101] So he's got two different wigs at least.

[102] What ended up happening to him?

[103] Is he in prison?

[104] Oh, yeah, he's in jail.

[105] He might be dead.

[106] He might be dead now.

[107] Places.

[108] Yeah, look how horrific he looks.

[109] Yeah.

[110] He just looks so creepy.

[111] Is that him there smiling too?

[112] Wow, it looks like a totally different person when he smiles.

[113] That's so odd.

[114] he's a creepy dude yeah well so he um he put a gun in some girl's mouth you know he was into that kind of shit like bitch i'll fucking kill you and he actually did kill her wow and she was like a just a young lady i think that's her up there Lana Clarkson that's her right she was really pretty oh shit she'd done some acting and stuff and she met him what's amazing to me was not just that he shot her and this crazy fuck but that an ugly dude like that can bang a chick that looks that hot like how did he get her maybe he maybe she wouldn't have sex with him maybe that's why he shot her in the mouth well he's also a millionaire I think at that point you know yeah no that definitely's got to help I mean it's but isn't an amazing that it helps that much I mean look how scary he is is that Al Pacino did Al Pacino did Al Pacino play him in a movie yeah they did a HBO movie I think really yeah what was it called a couple years ago no shit I didn't know about I didn't know that either there's too many movies oh it just called Phil Specter do you know I had a revelation the other day when it came to movies I went to see the Martian it's pretty good interesting but the problem is the problem with that movie is you know he's gonna live you know he's gonna make it so it's like someone gave you a spoiler alert before you even got to the movie it's like oh is he gonna die on Mars?

[115] Am I paying money to watch two hours of him and he's going to die on Mars?

[116] Get the fuck out of here.

[117] Everybody knows he's not going to die on Mars.

[118] But the revelation was there's too many movies and even really awesome movies like Sicario's supposed to be pretty badass.

[119] That's the new Benicio del Toro movie.

[120] It's supposed to be pretty bad ass but we couldn't get a ticket to that one.

[121] In time we sold out so we went with the Martian but the point is these movies never stop every week there's new ones and they they don't go away like the old ones don't stop being around like you can go watch them too it's like there's too many of them like I was thinking about all the different movies just on iTunes and Netflix and I was scrolling through them and I started thinking like this is a this is a never -ending equation like it just keeps getting tacked onto it we live in the epicenter of where it's created it's all around here and it's it's very strange because the body of work just never stops like it used to be when i was a kid when a good movie came out you would go to see that fucking movie like star wars i saw star wars 13 times and i was nothing compared to the real geeks like there was like it was a big deal back then to see how many times you could see a movie like you couldn't run a movie long enough to see for someone to see it 13 times now because there's no new ones.

[122] There's new ones coming.

[123] We've got to get this fucking piece of shit out of the theater.

[124] You would never have a movie like Star Wars that played over and over and over and over and over and over and over and.

[125] And if Star Wars came out today, people would shit right in its mouth.

[126] It's weird.

[127] That is to me in my childhood, one of the greatest movies of all time.

[128] When I was a kid and that movie came out, I remember when Obi -1 Kenobi was talking to Luke Skywalker and they were in the sand i was like this is the greatest thing i've ever seen in my life this is amazing this guy's in space and he's gonna obi one canobi's gonna teach him out to be a jedi oh this is the greatest movie ever i remember it couldn't have been more perfect i remember seeing that movie and thinking this movie is fucking perfect now you go watch it and you're like oh my god it's such a clunky turd it's clunky the special effects look like shit why is darth fader evil does he doesn't There's not even a reason why he's evil.

[129] He's just evil.

[130] What does he get when he takes over the world?

[131] Does he even get pussy?

[132] Is he even going to get any pussy in space?

[133] No, he's just building some giant star that can blow up planets.

[134] Really?

[135] This is so dumb.

[136] Like, it's so dumb.

[137] Oh, he uses the dark side.

[138] Oh, not the dark side.

[139] It's so fucking dumb.

[140] And it's puppets.

[141] It's like Kermit the Frog and Luke Skywalker.

[142] But in its day, like if you judge it in the context of its day, it's one of the all -time classic films.

[143] it's just there's so many more now and they're better there's some films from back then that still like apocalypse now is a rock solid you try to go watch apocalypse now it is rock fucking solid francis for Coppola just made a masterpiece that's who did that right it was him right yeah it's a it's a masterpiece it's a masterpiece it's like a flawless film and it's a film that took i think it took like seven years to make it went way way over budget They started with Lawrence Fishburne when he was like 17 he was in that movie.

[144] I mean, that was a crazy fucking movie.

[145] But it's a movie that holds up, man. It still holds up.

[146] Ghostbusters doesn't hold up.

[147] E .T. doesn't hold up.

[148] There's a lot that I've been watching them going, oh.

[149] We were kids, though, right?

[150] Yeah, well, we were younger, but it just looked real.

[151] Back then, that was, like, realistic to us.

[152] You know, those monsters made out of clay were like, oh, my God, it's a monster made out of clay.

[153] I remember I used to like land to the lost.

[154] Ooh, the sleastacks.

[155] They're fucking so cool looking.

[156] Ooh, excited.

[157] So there's a good Godzilla King Kong movie coming out.

[158] Oh, Christ.

[159] Here's why that's stupid.

[160] Okay, Godzilla is 500 feet tall.

[161] King Kong's 50 feet tall.

[162] Stop.

[163] Those Japanese people fucked you.

[164] They fucked you with those movies because they violated all the laws.

[165] They didn't give you some reason why King Kong grew to 500.

[166] He grew four.

[167] 450 extra feet and they didn't say a word about it Come on man how's he so big he was he he used to be able to climb shit and he would carry the chick in his hand And now all of a sudden he's as big as Godzilla what if it was baby Godzilla versus King Kong like it was just baby Godzilla He was small don't make a little bit more sense right, but he would just stand back and light him on fire It's fucking stupid This fight would take 30 seconds.

[168] I mean you get killed by little tiny airplanes He got killed by airplanes and if you know anything about like firepower and guns.

[169] The idea that you could kill a gorilla with these little piss -a -billots from a tiny little stupid cardboard plane you're killing a gorilla that's so fucking big that it can carry people and climb to the top of the Empire State Building.

[170] It can grab planes out of the air and smash them.

[171] Remember it was doing that?

[172] But yet those little baby bullets are killing them.

[173] Those little baby bullets were just make them furious.

[174] unless there were like the hollow points or something like that where they blew up inside of them doesn't matter this unless they were cannons they would have to be like they would have to be such of a such a high caliber that it would be like boom boom they would be mad fucking recoil it would be well not me especially back then they've figured they have guns now that have they're like uh donald saroni had one that he put a video of it on his instagram it's i think they call it integrally suppressed so when you fire the gun it's a 300 wind mag, which is a big round.

[175] It's a very powerful rifle.

[176] When you fire it's like tunk, tunk, like nothing.

[177] You don't feel anything and you don't hear anything.

[178] It's like a very small amount of sound and a very small amount of kick.

[179] Like he has a girl on his Instagram picture, just a regular size girl shooting it.

[180] And it's not fucking her up at all.

[181] But it should be like at least a struggle.

[182] You know?

[183] So, but back then they didn't have any of that shit.

[184] Back then it was just an explosion in a metal tube shooting out a piece of lead.

[185] The idea Is he going to kill this big gorilla with your piss -ass guns?

[186] He's just going to fuck you up, man, and he's going to bang that white chick.

[187] That's what he's there for.

[188] Unless it got smart, and, you know, it was just all, like, hacking and, like, nuclear war.

[189] Like, Godzilla's using computers now in King Kong.

[190] Never mind.

[191] Jeez.

[192] Where are you going with that?

[193] You committed to it, too.

[194] They made it a drama.

[195] A drama.

[196] Well, the last Godzilla looked like it was going to be badass.

[197] I never watched it.

[198] It wasn't good.

[199] It was kind of fun.

[200] Like, uh, the, the Godzilla monster itself was fucking badass.

[201] Like, they did an amazing job with CGI.

[202] But the, um, the story was so clunky.

[203] And this fucking kid, who's the hero, keeps surviving.

[204] I mean, survived the most ridiculous shit.

[205] Like a plane fell off, or a train fell off of a giant bridge into the water and he gets out of there, like over and over and over again.

[206] Wasn't that what happened?

[207] some stupid shit like that over and over and over again this fuck survives the most ridiculous preposterous disastrous disaster scenarios to watch Godzilla kill this bad guy and the spoiler alert Godzilla survives spoiler but it's just the special effects were pretty wicked but the story itself was just clunky did you see a movie called The Guest I don't think so who's in it I forget his name no one really Hold on, I'll tell you right now.

[208] It is, uh, add, no, Dan Stevens.

[209] I don't know who that is.

[210] Anyways, it got really good on Rotten Tomatoes.

[211] I got like 92%, you know, like it got really good reviews.

[212] Doug Benson told me to watch it.

[213] It's on Netflix right now.

[214] It starts off like a kid's like, like a kid's like summer teen movie.

[215] Are you spoiler alerting this movie?

[216] No, I'm not.

[217] It's like it starts off this, uh, uh, like a kid's summer teen movie, right?

[218] And this guy who just got out of the army comes, visits to this family.

[219] It is one of the biggest roadhouse type version movie.

[220] It starts off horrible.

[221] But then you wake up out of this coma.

[222] You're like, wait, what the fuck am I watching?

[223] And then it starts, like, I swear to God, I laughed so hard in this movie because, like, a roadhouse.

[224] Accidentally?

[225] But then I go to Doug and I'm like, dude, thank you so much.

[226] That was like hilarious movie.

[227] And he goes, oh, well, like he liked it for.

[228] real zies you know Doug Benson quite possibly might be the worst poster boy for weed alive I just did it's getting Doug with hi and he would like ask a question and then I'd be like starting to answer and he goes what are you talking about like completely forgot what well in his defense listen to what you just said 30 seconds ago about Godzilla hacking with computers well no I was like a drama like if they made it a drama No, I mean, like, King Kong was hacking Godzilla and made it like a picture of you.

[229] But this idea that Doug Benson smokes too much pot, we should explore this.

[230] Because I know he enjoys the marijuana, and I know he's been an activist and letting people know.

[231] But this type of behavior is perhaps negative to the cause.

[232] He makes me laugh.

[233] It gets so high.

[234] It's so funny.

[235] He gets so high all the time.

[236] And he gets visually high, which makes it so much more funny.

[237] Oh, he closes up like razor slits.

[238] He closes up, like, there's no eyes in there.

[239] Like, where's your eyes, man?

[240] You don't have any eyes.

[241] Damarera, if he was a pirate or something.

[242] Don Marrera, imagine if Domera smoked pie, we'd have to get him a cane.

[243] We'd have to get him one of those blind canes.

[244] We'd have to get him a dog.

[245] That Ebola thing about the eyes, though, that really freaked me out.

[246] It should.

[247] It should.

[248] Ebola's been living in people's eyes, the guys that had Ebola.

[249] It's been staying in his eyes, changing their eye colors from green to blue and having blurry vision.

[250] And then when he gets to check, his eyes are not as strong anymore.

[251] They're more of like a musher, musher version of his eye.

[252] Yeah, they said that it actually was affecting the structure of his eye.

[253] Yeah.

[254] Fuck, man. And what's weird is when I went to my eye doctor, they said my eye structure was fucked and that I had scarring in the back for some reason.

[255] You don't have Ebola, dude.

[256] You'd be so much skinnier.

[257] You think?

[258] Yeah, they lose a shit load of weight.

[259] Well, what if I just have...

[260] They'll shit their brains out.

[261] A lazy version of it or a sleeping?

[262] Maybe you're like a survivor.

[263] You're one of those carriers.

[264] Like there's some girls that can give you herpes, but they don't show any signs of herpes.

[265] Right.

[266] Yeah, this guy right here.

[267] Some girls.

[268] Notice I blame it all on the girls.

[269] Well, one of the symptoms is blurry vision.

[270] Like, he started tripping out of what I've been trying to deal with myself.

[271] Well, I don't think you have to be, you have to consider.

[272] are a couple things when you're talking about your eyes.

[273] You definitely don't have to think about Ebola.

[274] But you do have to think about taking care of your health.

[275] You don't take care of your health.

[276] And I've told you before, it freaks me out.

[277] Well, I've cut out things like boner pills recently.

[278] Well, you definitely should cut out those.

[279] Look, they have Viagra and Cialis and stuff like that.

[280] And it's like scientifically proven.

[281] You can adjust your dosage.

[282] You don't know what you're taken when you take those things.

[283] And a lot of times you are taking Cialis.

[284] You are taking Viagra.

[285] Well, what's weird is Lamar Odin, who just recently, you know, went to the hospital for, they found him at the Bunny Ranch.

[286] She had, like, supposedly cocaine around and these, these boner pills, these gas station boner pills, was so weird about the whole thing.

[287] About two days before that happened, I found out the FDA .gov on their front page, if you go to it right now, has a whole thing about these boner pills.

[288] And they also have links to every single, like, boner pill that you can buy.

[289] Like, I took all my rap, I keep my rappers, like, trip.

[290] Because they come in these, like, cardboard.

[291] You save them, like, baseball cards.

[292] They're cool, because they all have really good artwork.

[293] Oh, such good artwork.

[294] It's just like David Cho's work.

[295] It's like a Mona Lisa on those things, man. So I looked at my favorite one.

[296] My favorite one has Viagra in it, the Mexican version of Viagra in it.

[297] But a lot of them also have steroids in them.

[298] And if you can go through this, like, this is the hidden agreement.

[299] Like, a lot of them are steroids, generic.

[300] names for Viagra.

[301] Well, you know, that was Anderson Silva's excuse when he tested positive for steroids.

[302] That makes a hundred sense.

[303] He took a Chinese Viagra.

[304] But what they think is, this is actually one way it could be of what he said could be true, that he might have gotten some sort of, he might have called it Viagra, but it might have been like some super strong boner pill that also has steroids in it.

[305] But the other, what they were thinking is that with a company that makes this Viagra or Seales or whatever it was.

[306] also make steroids and they just didn't clean their batch and some of it got contaminated which does happen we've actually um we've we've run tests on different supplements that we have like um alpha brain and during the early days when we first started doing it we would notice that there would be a certain inconsistency in um in like the amount of something it was just like minor but enough to go like hmm and then occasionally we would find something in a supplement like we never found it in alpha brain or true mood or something like that but I know they found it in like well you get like a B12 supplement and it has vitamin A in it for some reason and everybody's like well how'd that get in there because you're getting your stuff from like bulk you're getting it from a lot of people are getting with if they're getting like tribulous I know you used to buy that stuff right yeah or if you're getting vitamins you're getting them from these bulk suppliers like my friend larry used to run that vitamin company and when you get stuff from bulk suppliers like a lot of times they're mixing their stuff in these vats and they just don't clean them they do a shitty job of cleaning them most of time you're okay but if if someone fucks up and doesn't do their job or you deal with some low level company that doesn't take care of their shit you definitely definitely definitely can get steroids and things on those lines inside like protein powders and insides the like muscle supplements they shouldn't be there but then there's also some of them they just put steroids in there you know why because steroids work so and you can get cheap chinese steroids and you just throw them in your boner pills and you're like to fuck like a gorilla it's because you're juiced up man you're you're actually on steroids and it will fuck with your mood we had that jeff novitsky guy he's the guy who works for the u .s. anti -doping agency and he's the guy who busted lance Armstrong and now he works for the UFC and And he's, you know, doing all these crazy random drug tests.

[307] He told us about all the different substances that the Olympic Committee and the FDA finds out test positive for steroids.

[308] And we're like, well, how many are there?

[309] So we go to the fucking website.

[310] There's a website where it lists each one of them.

[311] We didn't even get through the A's.

[312] We were in the A's, and there was hundreds of them that are just steroids.

[313] So when you're going to the, you know, local vitamin shop and you're seeing, you know, muscle build 5 ,000, some fucking guys shredded on it.

[314] A lot of those are steroids.

[315] A lot, especially more so back in the day than today, because they're a little bit better at busting people and there's a little bit less people that are willing to take the chance of getting arrested or of getting sued or whatever.

[316] But there's a lot of that shit that's just, there's so much monkey business involved in like those kind of like muscle building things.

[317] Yeah, well, it's really dangerous because all the ones I had were on the FDA .gov and I and so then I started taking each one of the boner pills and showing like looking at every single ingredient that was in it.

[318] A lot of them were roots and like mixing certain things with other things have net has never been tested and like if you have low blood pressure you could die off these boner pills just from well also if you have a heart if you're on a heart medication yes like old dudes that have um heart attacks they have to take nitrates like nitroglycerin and stuff like that if you if you take that like you ever seen those in those movies the guy would almost be about to take a heart attack and he popped those little pills and chew him up he's got to get to my heart pills remember that oh yeah yeah it was always in those movies remember that it's real yeah yeah that's real there are um certain uh i think it's nitroglycerin but certain things that you take uh that if you are on those and then you take viagra it can be super fucking dangerous for you so these people that are just taking them thinking that what's on that label is what's actually in a lot of times that's not the case a lot of times it's a bunch of extra shit in there the one that I recently have been taking it's had ended up having a Viagra in it but they had a new formula version which the FDA hasn't tried yet but the new formula version works really good like way better than the old stuff but I think that has whatever's in it's making me trip yeah it's it's probably super bad for you it's probably some crazy stimulants and who knows man you got to buy stuff from reputable sources like this That's one thing that I disagree with people when they want to have total deregulation of drugs and things like, man, you've got to be careful of people that are just going to sell you some shit and tell you it's one thing, but it's actually something else.

[319] Like, there should be some form of regulation when it comes to things like, you know, anything that's got something in it that could be dangerous, where it's like a stimulant or those rip fuel type things.

[320] things that turned out to kill a bunch of people like you should we should there should be some accountability and there also should be someone checking on that stuff like you kind of need someone checking to make sure that you're not going to have like inadvertently give someone who thinks they're just going to get some herbal you know testosterone booster you're actually going to give them steroids in viagra you know it should be GNC wouldn't you say i mean i bought rip fuel when i was in high school we used to all get on that shit in high school People have died from that stuff Definitely That's why Ephedra Like you can't get that shit anymore People used to just buy a Fedra You used to be able to buy that That's uh It's fucking stimulant And a hardcore one too And it just jacks your heart rate up man Like A good buddy used to drink that red line stuff Every day before in the gym Like five times a week And he's drinking Red Bull four times a day Anyway He's not live Well he's lucky He's alive I took rip fuel once before Jiu -Jitsu, and I literally thought I was going to have a heart attack.

[321] It didn't make any sense why my heart was beating so fast.

[322] I was like, I know I was working out, and I know it was, you know, it was exerting myself, but I was like, but this is just some next -level shit.

[323] Like, I have to stop.

[324] Like, I can't do it.

[325] I literally couldn't work out after a certain point.

[326] I was like, my heart's beating too fast.

[327] It was weird.

[328] It's like your heart's beating too fast, but you're not that tired.

[329] It's like, it's just, your body's just weirding out on you.

[330] It's just like, what's all this extra shit?

[331] Beep, beep, beep.

[332] and used to be able to get it everywhere.

[333] Yeah.

[334] And it's a lot of that stuff, man. A lot of that stuff.

[335] And how do they even, like that's what you said from my experience of being involved on it and the creation of Alpha Brain.

[336] And when you find, you know, you find out your suppliers aren't doing the right thing.

[337] You find out that, like, you got to make sure that people are, like, you have to test things and double test things every step of the way.

[338] And when you're running a company like GNC, Jesus Christ, how many products they have in their shelves?

[339] They have aisles and aisles and hundreds of fucking things from hundreds of different companies and all of them are promoting weight loss and it's mental clarity and fitness enhancement and, you know, muscle gains and strength gains and size.

[340] You're going to put on weight and like, boy, you got, are you sure?

[341] Is all this stuff legit?

[342] They don't know.

[343] They don't give them fuck.

[344] They just, they go, what do you got?

[345] What do you got?

[346] You got dick pills?

[347] Bring them in here, bitch.

[348] you know and if you bought if you went to a store and you got some um some testosterone booster you know it says you know boost testosterone make you feel a lot but it's really viagra also your dick is hard all the time you like dude i'm so full of testosterone my dick is hard all the time and it would psychologically make you feel like yeah i'm on i'm on this testosterone booster it's amazing you just go start buying it like for guys you give a guy something that makes his dick card and they're going to think that they found the fucking thing they found the fountain of youth they found it they found uh they found the holy grail it just makes it thicker and longer it's not even hard right what the news these kinds are like a swelling of the dick more what kinds like these generic kinds with all these extra roots and stuff in it i don't know what you're taken will you take one if i give you fuck no i'm not i'd have to have a scientist go over that shit with a fine tooth comb who knows what's in those things man don't you don't even know who's making them i know this is a fucking spray paint artwork you're like look at the artwork i'm definitely putting this in my body hope it doesn't do any permanent damage gee why's my eyesight going all fucking wonky you're seeing things wiggle in front of your eyes yeah also you know that's a symptom of diabetes yeah i i don't have diabetes did you go to the doctor i mean my last check it was i was fine how many years ago was that year and a half.

[349] Did you have those symptoms a year and a half ago?

[350] No. But I also wasn't taking boner pills that have crazy shit in them.

[351] Well, that's true.

[352] I mean, you know, I would eliminate possibilities.

[353] Well, yeah.

[354] That's what I'm doing right now.

[355] I'm not doing that anymore.

[356] You got to stop drinking every night.

[357] You got to stop smoking.

[358] Stop doing that also.

[359] I've been drinking like every other night, maybe.

[360] That's better.

[361] That's better than every night.

[362] Secret to not drinking.

[363] But what about the smoking?

[364] Don't go to the comedy store.

[365] How much do you smoke?

[366] Same Like pack a day You got You did so well And then you just Fold it up again Yeah Oh that's another thing The reason why I originally Went to the FDA I just remembered Is because my favorite Cigarette Which is a new cigarette Got recalled From the FDA Because they said That they were not tested Like they were using Just fucking Imagine how bad your cigarettes Have to be For the FDA to go You know what These cigarettes are fucked up Yeah Those other ones That are killing people at a rate of 500 ,000 premature deaths per year in this country alone.

[367] But they're like, this one's too fucked up.

[368] Camel whites and camel crush.

[369] They were not allowed to be sold because they never have been tested and they were using all different new filters.

[370] They had things that broke and made mint inside the cigarette.

[371] Maybe it's just people that don't like white people.

[372] That's one thing, if you're going to have camels, those are white people's cigarettes.

[373] Really?

[374] Yeah, it's white.

[375] Cools are black people's cigarettes.

[376] Like if you...

[377] Barbara White Lites is a white woman.

[378] You either get cool.

[379] Cools are either like secretaries who are super stressed out who are single moms.

[380] They'll smoke cools occasionally and they're tanned.

[381] They go to tanning booths or black eyes.

[382] I'm a cigarette expert, yo.

[383] Newports.

[384] Who smokes Newports?

[385] I don't know.

[386] Black people and people who like black people.

[387] Right.

[388] People hang out with black people.

[389] They smoke newports.

[390] The worst is when you meet a white person that smokes menthols.

[391] You're like, what happened to you, man?

[392] Camel unfiltered It's all white guys who are trappers They're all like fishermen and trappers and shit And they fucking They have hides tanning hides On the side of their house You know they tacked down a hide And stretch it out in those Alaska shows Those are the guys who smoke Camel don't unfiltered The only reason I smoke Is James Dean used to smoke lucky cigarettes And I was like I'm gonna be like James Dean Mm hmm Lucky unfiltered You know what else James Dean smoked?

[393] Poles He smoked poles too So he probably just like things in his mouth I mean nothing wrong with that But maybe you shouldn't do what he does What do you think about Playboy man Like taking all the nudity out of this?

[394] You're very upset Bailey Jay had the funniest tweet about it Yeah Yeah she goes She goes There's girls online that have fists up their assholes You weren't reading Playboy stop it Yeah It's true It's totally true It's just fucking true Larry Flint was on like CNN The other day And he said it perfect Like, like, are you, like, you're taking your bread and butter away.

[395] Why would the fuck, he's like, Hugh Hefner's just a horrible businessman.

[396] He's like, he's, the magazine's fine, you know, don't touch it.

[397] Well, he's old.

[398] I don't think he's necessarily running things anymore.

[399] And I think this, the fact that we're talking about it means it was a good idea.

[400] Because we're talking about it.

[401] No one talked about Playboy.

[402] Like, Playboy, nobody gave a fuck.

[403] They have, they literally have to do something like this in order to get people to talk about it.

[404] It might be a good idea.

[405] Honestly, I mean, I'm the shittiest businessman of all time, because I don't, I literally don't think about business ever at all.

[406] I just do shit that I like to do and try to like work as hard as I can and try to keep going.

[407] Find things that I'm interested in and keep going.

[408] I never sit down and go, what's the best business model?

[409] What I need to do for my brand, I need to expand, what I need to do is I need to create some sort of a publicity stunt.

[410] But if I was going to engineer a publicity stunt, that's the best one.

[411] you take either that or you show coming you just show a lot of hair pulling and nutting in people's faces you show like hardcore choking and mascara and snot coming out of girl's nose and balls hitting chins you're either gonna go one way or the other either you're gonna go the route of the internet and the internet's gonna out internet you every fucking time or you're gonna decide you know what we're a gentleman's magazine now you can get plenty of porn you don't need us for that you're not buying this in a airport fucking one of those little stuff with the plastic, you're not gonna go jerk off in your hotel room with this.

[412] You're just not.

[413] You have a laptop, stop it, right?

[414] But they can offer like good articles, right?

[415] Like, there's people that have written for Playboy that were like really good writers.

[416] There's some really good stories that have been written for Playboy, but it was always sort of obscured by the fact that really what you were doing was buying it for chicks.

[417] It was like, that was the inside joke.

[418] It's like, oh, I read it for the articles.

[419] That was the inside joke.

[420] Like, people would laugh about how nobody really read it for the articles.

[421] But if you go and, like, you ever see, like, Frank Sinatra interview, those interviews in Playboy?

[422] These do, have you ever seen those?

[423] I actually have never read one single article in a Playboy.

[424] Actually, the interviews are classic.

[425] You know, I did an interview with Playboy a long time ago, and that's when I got into it with Dennis Leary.

[426] Oh, yeah.

[427] That was from one of those Playboy interviews.

[428] They've always had, Playboys always had, like, really good interviews.

[429] They vote.

[430] They had, like I said, I used to have this coffee table book of all the great interviews over the years in Playboy.

[431] But the whole feel of Playboy to me was always style.

[432] Like it was artistic.

[433] You know, Hugh Hefner was an artist that, you know, made women look beautiful.

[434] And like you, you wanted to see whatever, Sigourney Weaver naked.

[435] But you wanted to see it.

[436] You wanted to see her get naked.

[437] Pamela Anderson.

[438] Classy.

[439] Sigourney Weaver window.

[440] Yeah, I know what you're saying.

[441] So it's almost famous.

[442] Yeah, they wanted to see a classy, like that's where Kardashian should have had her butt shots instead of that other thing.

[443] It was too late, though.

[444] By the time she came along, it was a ghost town.

[445] Right.

[446] But Playboy, yeah, no one's talking about Playboy because no one's talking about magazines at all.

[447] Anything about magazines.

[448] Playboy's problem, I think, is like what Larry Flynn was saying, their business is all fucked up.

[449] Playboys, I believe, is subscription -based.

[450] To listen to Playboy radio, you have to pay $7 a month.

[451] You know, it's like a...

[452] Yeah, it's not like you can just turn on all Playboy radio, you know?

[453] Wait a minute.

[454] Is it on Sirius?

[455] It used to be on serious, but I think Sirius was like, eh, we don't care about this anymore, but I don't know.

[456] Are you sure?

[457] Yeah, it used to be $10 a month, though, or something like that.

[458] But are you sure it's not on Sirius anymore?

[459] I don't think it is anymore.

[460] Why don't you Google that real quick?

[461] Otherwise, we're talking about it.

[462] But, um, the model is definitely dying.

[463] The magazine model.

[464] um internet radio station originally launched on xm series and on uh okay here we go on march 9th 2013 Kevin Klein and Andrea announced that Playboy morning show that the Playboy will no longer be featured on SM or series XM you can only go to Playboy radio and they want you to pay for it Playboy radio .com yeah see that's a big mistake yeah that's a big mistake to get people to pay for it because why Why would they do that when you can get the TED Radio Hour, you can get getting Doug with High, you can get Kill Tony, you can get the church of what's happening now, you can get, you can get fucking, there's so many podcasts that are amazing and they're free.

[465] For Playboy to come along and say, hey, we want $10 a month or $7 a month or whatever it is.

[466] It's $7 a month too much or $10 a month too much.

[467] It's just, you can't do it.

[468] You can't, it's a shitty model.

[469] That's, you're, you're operating on this idea.

[470] that like subscription -based stuff still exists and it really doesn't unless it's something like Netflix just think about how arrogant you would have to be to want seven dollars a month for your fucking podcast your radio show when you can get Netflix for nine bucks a month they raised it right they made it nine now I think Netflix did still a great deal amazing deal just stop and think about that think about how many fucking stand -up comedy specials I believe uh oh I can't even say that that.

[471] I'm not supposed to say that.

[472] But, um, look, just think Bill Burr specials.

[473] Tom Segura just shot a second special, you know, fuck, I put, I did one on Netflix in 2005.

[474] So it's like, you think about all, it's 10 bucks now, is that what you showing me?

[475] No, I'm just, Playboy Radio.

[476] Playboy Radio is $4 .17 a month.

[477] If you do a 12 month subscription, if you do it for one month, it's what?

[478] Wow, it's 17 %, about $5 a month.

[479] Okay.

[480] So five bucks a month, it's still, it's more reasonable, still ridiculous.

[481] No one's paying that.

[482] Bad business model.

[483] It's a terrible business model.

[484] It's like, you know, they're talking about doing that with Howard Stern.

[485] They were talking about doing that with something like Spotify and making, and the way they were talking was so gross.

[486] And then I said they, I mean these business analysts who were quoting people who supposedly work for this show.

[487] It could be all bullshit.

[488] It could be all rumors.

[489] But the way they were saying it was like they were banking on it, you know, because at the end of the day, if there's anybody they can get people to pay for some sort of a podcast.

[490] It's him.

[491] I mean, he's got, Howard Stern's got the most loyal listeners.

[492] He's been around the longest time.

[493] There's people that, for him, for them, he's a part of their daily commute and has been for decades, right?

[494] But they were talking about, like, doing it where it's like $7 a month for his show.

[495] And they were like, we could get, you know, 10 million listeners.

[496] So we'd be getting 70 million dollars a month.

[497] I'm like, bitch, are you out of your fucking mind?

[498] You really think you're going to get 10 million people.

[499] They're going to to pay $7 a month for a podcast, $10 million, good luck, good fuck.

[500] That's crazy talk.

[501] But listen to someone say something like that.

[502] I was like, ooh, look how they think.

[503] They're just looking at it like, ooh, this is a business.

[504] Not like, let's just keep doing the most kick -ass radio show in the history of the world.

[505] Let's keep having these amazing guests.

[506] Isn't it crazy?

[507] Howard's been on the air for decades and he's got all this stuff banked up.

[508] You can listen to Howard 100 and your classic.

[509] interviews from back of this.

[510] It's amazing.

[511] Let's keep this better and better.

[512] Nope, that's not how they think.

[513] They think, how do we make money off of them?

[514] How do we take this guy and how do we turn this into 10 million subscribers paying $70 a month?

[515] And then they're all thinking, if I just get a piece of that, if I get a piece of that, they're looking at their house in the Hamptons and they're thinking about their Porsche, they'll be driving.

[516] All right.

[517] And then you've got all these people around you that are like grabbing and pulling and tugging.

[518] That's what it's like if you work for some big giant -ass corporation that feeds off of having a bunch of different shows on its network.

[519] Like if you work for some corporation like a like a serious X -M or Playboy or anything like that, like they need to keep that fucking thing alive.

[520] Like we need money coming in.

[521] We cannot just operate on ideas.

[522] We need money coming in.

[523] Well, I think we can get Playboy Radio and people will pay about $7 a month.

[524] Let's do it.

[525] Seven, make that money.

[526] How many people do you think we're going to make?

[527] I think about a million a month.

[528] million a month five million a month we're out of the hole we're out of the hole in six months and people start thinking like that and then you know but what the fuck do I know I don't know shit Larry Flynn also said you know like look he Playboy probably has 43 riders you know they they probably have a shitload of riders he's like I have seven he's like he's like Larry Flint said that yeah and it makes sense he's like Larry Flint's like I make a profit every month they don't you know I mean and he's got hardcore shit on his you know yeah His magazine's hardcore as fuck.

[529] And I still bought, you know, penthouse.

[530] I still buy penthouse occasionally.

[531] How dare you?

[532] What's wrong with you?

[533] I, well, you know.

[534] You don't buy penthouse?

[535] Why are you lying?

[536] No, I do.

[537] I swear to God, I do.

[538] I bought one the other day.

[539] American money.

[540] You don't use Bitcoin or anything?

[541] No, it's like, oh, it's my ex -girlfriend on the cover.

[542] I may buy it.

[543] Yeah, that's funny.

[544] Yeah, I just don't think they can make it.

[545] It's like you can scrape out as much money as you have.

[546] Keep a skeleton crew.

[547] Run those magazines as long as you can, as long as they're profitable.

[548] But be ready to pull that shoot.

[549] Be ready to pull that shoot.

[550] Because now, like, you can just get shit on your iPad.

[551] That's new.

[552] And then they have these things that are essentially like Spotify for your iPad.

[553] So you can choose from a bunch of different magazines like Time and Newsweek and all these different magazines.

[554] You can get them on your iPad, go through it, you download it.

[555] You get each page is a full image.

[556] You can stretch it out and move it.

[557] It's so much better.

[558] It's so much better.

[559] And once they start doing it like that where you have like these subscriptions, you know, it's not going to last.

[560] The actual print thing is just not going to be around anymore.

[561] Why would you want that print thing?

[562] It's killing paper or it's killing trees rather than make that paper.

[563] You could just get the thing downloaded to your phone instantly like that.

[564] It's just ones and zeros in the air.

[565] You know, you don't, it's not going to make it.

[566] It's just, it's like.

[567] The dudes who are on Morse code, you know, like, listen, I'm telling you, this is the way to talk.

[568] Da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da.

[569] It'll never go away.

[570] We'll always need Morris code.

[571] No, nobody knows how to do that anymore.

[572] S -O -S.

[573] Da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da -da.

[574] Remember?

[575] It was one, two, three.

[576] That's OS.

[577] One, two, three is an S. Imagine being one of those assholes that actually has to sit there and try to figure out how many beeps that guy just did, and you're spacing out, and he's beeping at you.

[578] D -D -D -D -D -D -D -D -D -D -D -D -D -D -D -D -D -D -D -D -D -D -D -D -D -D -D -D -D.

[579] You got to write all that down.

[580] Oh, my God.

[581] And then you figure out when is the word done.

[582] You fuck.

[583] You didn't put enough of a pause in.

[584] You stopped doing that in Boy Scouts, S -O -S.

[585] Did you?

[586] Yeah.

[587] But we had to know how to do it.

[588] We had to know, like, what the signal was.

[589] One, two, three, one, two, three.

[590] But, I mean, how are you going to send it?

[591] What are you sending it with?

[592] You're going to bang on a drum?

[593] Ham radio.

[594] If you had an AM radio, you can't transmit.

[595] Ham.

[596] Oh, ham radio.

[597] That was a big thing, man. Still is.

[598] I remember my uncle, he would always let me play with it.

[599] He'd be like, yeah, this guy's in Japan right now.

[600] And you're like, oh, hi, you're in Japan?

[601] What the fuck?

[602] How are we talking right?

[603] It was a cool thing to do, but to go online and start a chat with some guy from Japan, he's going to show you his dick.

[604] It's just a matter of time.

[605] You know?

[606] There's no, like, friendship thing like that.

[607] like ham radio like back then if you were on the radio with some guy you know and you're like uh so you what time is it in germany time for me to fuck your mother you know like that did they didn't talk like that they didn't talk like internet people they had to actually like speak to each other so because that element of you say something someone reacts there was probably way less trolling i'm sure there's like and you could get in trouble too like you get your ham radio license taken away from you if you do shitty things, right?

[608] I don't even think you're allowed to swear.

[609] I think on a ham radio, I think there's like restrictions on language.

[610] It is regulated, right?

[611] I don't know.

[612] Let's see.

[613] I know they're going to make you register your drones now.

[614] So it's going to be like a car.

[615] You're going to have to get like a fishing license probably every time you get a drone.

[616] That makes sense.

[617] That was only a matter of time.

[618] I was in in Alberta last year, or this spring, rather, and this guy had one that was attached to a cell phone.

[619] And he's flying it around, and we're watching the image on the cell phone, you know, because it's transmitting.

[620] And I was like, this is fucking crazy.

[621] This is way too good.

[622] It's way too good.

[623] Way too good and way too easy.

[624] Because he's just maneuvering it, you know, moving it around.

[625] You can do it with your phone.

[626] You can do it with a remote.

[627] The ones that they have now, there's a lot of them, too, a lot of different models they're fucking really good man yeah i was thinking about getting one a while ago but i think i'll wait it out it looks like it would be fun just to do like cool video stuff but yeah um it is it is cool i mean they're still cool i wonder if you get grandfathered in it's like if you have like an AK 47 or something they can't come and take it yeah buy them now uh you posted the wrong link also on your twitter for what so you guys are on uh youtube now streaming instead of uh you oh did i post the use oops Jesus Christ.

[628] It looks great on YouTube, though.

[629] I'm looking at the picture quality right now.

[630] How do I find it right now, Jamie, if I want to find it?

[631] So we're not on U -Stream?

[632] At all.

[633] I just tweeted.

[634] I just tweeted the right way.

[635] We still haven't figured out how to do the U -stream.

[636] At the same time.

[637] Yeah.

[638] All right, hold on.

[639] You should be able to just split it.

[640] Yeah, it's not.

[641] It doesn't work that way.

[642] I saw the ham radio stuff.

[643] It's amateur radio.

[644] There's regulations, but it depends on how big, probably how strong your ham radio signal is.

[645] So if you can broadcast really strongly, then you become, like, you're a little radio station.

[646] And then you have regulations.

[647] Well, how is that technology work to where people in other countries are listening to it, though?

[648] What kind of radio station is this?

[649] It's better than FM?

[650] Oh, because it's a low, it's like a low frequency signal that's making it.

[651] Like, you can get AM radio from all over the place, just in your house.

[652] You can get radio from, yeah.

[653] AM radio.

[654] Radio goes further, AM radio rather, goes further than FM, but just doesn't have as high a bandwidth.

[655] I find it amazing when people still listen to the radio.

[656] That's another one.

[657] I thought that would have been gone, too.

[658] I still listen to it, unfortunately.

[659] But I have friends at work in it, and, you know, it's brutal.

[660] You watch the way they work.

[661] It's the same thing, because what they're doing, right, besides the playing record part, what they're doing is a podcast.

[662] And the playing record part would be fucking infinitely easier, infinitely easier if you could do it on a podcast if you could just play records on a podcast you don't need a bunch of people working behind the scenes you don't you just you just play it you know if you just play anything you wanted but you can't really you could play it but there's like fair use you could use something in certain podcasts you could use it's but it's it's not a hundred percent clearly defined right now but for radio man dude i talk to uh i don't want to say their names but they're good guys and they're they're fun guys and I like doing their show, but one of them was telling me that they just got done with their, you know, they have a review where the company comes and sits them down.

[663] He goes, he goes, they fucking hate everything we do.

[664] We've been successful for decades.

[665] They've been around forever.

[666] And he goes, I've never had one of these meetings where they say we're doing great.

[667] Never.

[668] Everything is bad.

[669] Everything's not good.

[670] They're always looking to cut staff.

[671] They're always looking to fire people.

[672] It's just like this total negative meeting with these misers and these money people and these numbers crunchers.

[673] And they're like, we have to maximize profits.

[674] We have to fit.

[675] We have a strategy to maximize profits.

[676] We need more commercials.

[677] They want to add more commercials.

[678] So, like, you'll do a break, and then they'll play, like, seven minutes of commercials.

[679] And then they'll play a song.

[680] And then you go back to talking again.

[681] You're like, what is this fucking commercial thing you guys are doing?

[682] Because how many of those can you do in an hour?

[683] If you got seven and then you've got another seven?

[684] What, you got a half an hour worth of fucking commercials in an hour?

[685] that's crazy but it's almost getting to that point with a lot of these radio stations they just have so much man it's so crazy yeah i do it out of pure uh how easy it is in my car you know it's just you turn on a car the radio turns on you don't have you know it's kind of like background noise to a point yeah that's the only reason i listen to radio if if it gets to the point where it just automatically turns on my spotify in my car then i'd yeah it will you know serious is so much better in that sense like when i listen to Opie and Jimmy.

[686] It's like they're swearing.

[687] They're being honest and swearing, but even they have to worry about being fired.

[688] They have to worry about some sort of a public outrage situation when they say something crazy and people demand their ouster and the heads will roll and the corporation has to bow down.

[689] Well, you know, we've we've reviewed your file and we've found that you, this is not the first time you said anything outrageous, Anthony Coomia.

[690] You know, like, that's what he got paid for, you know, and they were like, you're out.

[691] Like, he's, tweeted a bunch of horrible shit where really the great thing would be to do to have him come in and justify what he said or explain himself or apologize on the air or say he was drunk or address it the way he would have dressed it and if he did do that the fucking ratings would be giant like if they were smart about their their business the business model that's how they would handle it like you you've got a built -in ratings boost right there let people talk more about it.

[692] Have people bitch more.

[693] What you should do is tweet some, you should have a sock puppet account where you tweet some of the other outrageous shit that he said over the past five years.

[694] Just spam it.

[695] Spam it out there.

[696] It's only going to help.

[697] It's only going to help.

[698] It's going to get more people pissed off.

[699] Yes.

[700] Is it going to get more people to call up your say?

[701] We're going to cancel serious.

[702] Are you really?

[703] If that's all it takes, it's all it takes for you to cancel serious?

[704] Fuck off.

[705] Get out of here.

[706] One guy says a few retarded things after he gets drunk and some str...

[707] or a hooker, I guess he's a hooker, beats him up while he's holding a gun and he doesn't do anything about it.

[708] Come on, that's a great story.

[709] If that's what's going to get you to quit serious, then go quit, bitch.

[710] They need to be able to say that.

[711] Go quit.

[712] It's a dead model.

[713] Yeah.

[714] That's just a better version of the dead model.

[715] What they are is like, they're like a beta Like the VHS was doomed.

[716] It didn't even know it was doomed.

[717] It was like a little bridge before we can get to digital media.

[718] And the beta max was just better.

[719] It's like a better bridge.

[720] Betamax was way better.

[721] Better quality.

[722] Laser disc.

[723] Yeah, laser disc.

[724] Even better.

[725] That's better than DVD.

[726] Mm -hmm.

[727] How about Blu -ray?

[728] Blue Ray can go fuck itself.

[729] How about that?

[730] You know, it's so amazing.

[731] Look at the quality.

[732] Good.

[733] Good luck with it too.

[734] Why would I get that?

[735] I could stream movies instantly.

[736] Why don't have to hold your stupid Frisbee?

[737] true it's done it's over it's like they got us to that they got us to that but you can't do that anymore like that that model doesn't work anymore the model of uh like broadcasting shit randomly through the air and you tune it in shh oh i got the i got it on the dial here it is unless the apocalypse hits that's fucking stupid you know just stop everybody's got their own station Remember when Christian Slater He was a rebel And he broadcasted Even though he wasn't supposed to It was like turn it up or something like that Turn the radio Whatever the fuck that stupid movie was called Pump up the volume Yeah Well that's what he was doing What he was doing was just a really low rent podcast You know He was I'm gonna play real music man I'm gonna say what I think We're gonna change your world No you're not Doesn't change the world Podcasts don't change the world Nothing serious radio Being able to swear It doesn't change the world Like it might The culture is slowly going to evolve When people Are allowed to communicate with each other But the idea that like one guy Is gonna start a revolution I'm gonna tell the truth With my radio show Listen buddy It's not gonna happen Your bone structure is too perfect You have wonderful hair And the movie you're in sucks This is crazy I just had a flashback Look at this phone This is big ass That's a cordless phone That's not even a That's supposed to be like some satellite phone or some shit like that.

[738] I guess that's supposed to be a cell phone, right?

[739] I don't know.

[740] Yeah.

[741] I guess that's supposed to be like one of those early...

[742] That's like a really cool version of the early cell phone.

[743] I don't know.

[744] High school kids listening to his show.

[745] Yeah, man. He was changing the world with those kids.

[746] I bet a lot of people listen to this podcast and their parents find out about it.

[747] Well, you better get that off your phone.

[748] That Joe Rogan in his marijuana talk.

[749] Get it off your phone.

[750] He doesn't even believe in our Lord.

[751] Have you seen, not that I don't, it's not true.

[752] I don't not believe in God.

[753] I don't disbelieve in God, just to be clear.

[754] I don't, I've seen no evidence.

[755] You've seen Manny Pachiao's Instagram page, though?

[756] No. It's wonderful.

[757] He's got a picture.

[758] It's one of the goofiest pictures.

[759] If you thought Dane Cook's Instagram is a hoot, you need to go to Mani Pachiao's Instagram and see, see what's going on with this dude.

[760] I have a huge Dane Cook Instagram fetish.

[761] I tell you, I. Look at this.

[762] Make his name famous.

[763] Make Jesus name famous.

[764] Wow.

[765] That's, and it says glorify apparel.

[766] So apparently, this is like a real shirt company.

[767] Like, these are people that like worked for American apparel, but they got head injuries on the job.

[768] And they decided to form their own business with their, uh, the money that they were getting from.

[769] It looks like you got it.

[770] You're, you're, that, that, uh, store lids made it.

[771] It looks really basic.

[772] It looks like a moss shirt that you could just get printed out in like 30 minutes.

[773] I was just trying to say something.

[774] I couldn't remember what I was going to say.

[775] I was trying to rant there, Brian.

[776] Oh, I'm sorry.

[777] American apparel, whatever.

[778] Head injury.

[779] Make his name famous.

[780] Look at that.

[781] Ugh.

[782] Grace upon grace, that's some lesbian shit.

[783] Grace on grace.

[784] You can't do that.

[785] Can't say that.

[786] That's like having a shirt that says let Jesus come inside you.

[787] You can't.

[788] Even though I know what you're saying, you can't.

[789] Adopted.

[790] What the fuck is that.

[791] So what were you saying?

[792] I just had a flashback.

[793] Remember on old TVs where it used to have a knob, but then you had that knob that was in the middle of the knob where you used to fine -tune the channel.

[794] So if you turned it to like Channel 4, then you had this other knob.

[795] I forgot all about that second knob.

[796] Yeah.

[797] Yeah, yeah.

[798] And then there was UHF and VHF, yeah.

[799] And UHF, or VHF, wait, UHF was like the...

[800] One of them was like the good channels.

[801] Right.

[802] And the other one was like Benny Hill.

[803] And AM Radio.

[804] You'd want...

[805] Tanah, tica, tica, tica, tica, tica, tica.

[806] Remember, Benny Hill wasn't on the regular TV.

[807] It was?

[808] He was on the bullshit networks.

[809] I forgot about that, though.

[810] I did, too.

[811] Yeah, I did too.

[812] there's a there's a fucking hilarious horror movie called VHS it's like one of those found footage ones where these uh people but the first one is actually pretty fucking cool it's one of those movies like god damn it if you could keep this up if you could keep this up through the whole movie it'll be pretty badass because it's a bunch of stories and the first one spoiler alert the first one is about a girl who's a demon and this guy picks this girl up at a club but she uh she turns out to be a demon but it's actually like really well done it's kind of it's freaky they're drunk and they pick her up and she's got like these really weird feet and then they realize like something's wrong with her but she keeps telling that she loves them she loves them it's it's really good but it's only like watch it for 20 minutes watch that first one and then throw that fucking thing out the window if you have an actual copy a physical copy blue ray yeah if you have a blue ray that was the other thing is they fucked up with their protocol battles with like Blu -ray and I have a bunch of DVDs that are HD DVDs you can't watch on anything I got a bunch of them I got a player if you want I don't even you can get them all on digital now but that's see that'll be the demise of our knowledge that's what's going to happen if you just look if you pay attention to when people talk about the possibilities of natural disasters like somebody just posted this on the message board the other day, that America is basically a ticking time bomb.

[813] It's based on some article that someone wrote.

[814] Maybe I'll pull it up real quick.

[815] But it was based on, see if you can find it, Jamie.

[816] But I think it's in the main forum.

[817] It might be in the podcast forum.

[818] But the idea was that there's this giant culture of entitled people.

[819] Nobody knows how to do anything for self -sustaining.

[820] Nobody knows how to grow their own food.

[821] Nobody knows how to get water.

[822] And we live in these giant population centers.

[823] America is a bomb waiting to explode.

[824] That's it.

[825] And it makes some really fucking good points.

[826] Like when you go over it, it makes some really good points.

[827] It's kind of freaky.

[828] When you stop and think about how many different things we rely on that are, you know, hanging by a thread that easily could be taken out by a power grid.

[829] Well, when you think about our knowledge, if we do, if something does happen, a solar flare or asteroid impact that wipes out say 20 % of the population stops the power and man if if all of our shit breaks if we lost half the people on earth if all of our shit stops working computers stop working and we really we have to live like the early settlers like people are still alive the people that are alive today still have the the knowledge that they have of living 30 plus years with you know the education system and all the technology that's in place today.

[830] These people still have, stop, these people still have those things, right?

[831] How much, how long could you use what we have?

[832] Like how long could you, you don't have any power?

[833] Are you going to be able to generate power?

[834] Some people might be able to.

[835] There might be like a few people with propane generators that still work and some people might be figuring out how to rig solar or create batteries or use the batteries that we have.

[836] But all large -scale industrial shit would be stopped.

[837] All construction and manufacturing would cease and desist.

[838] Food.

[839] And then all of our knowledge that's on these fucking computers and hard drives, inaccessible.

[840] When I was in Ohio a couple years ago for Christmas break, maybe for about a week, there's a really bad winter storm, like an ice storm almost.

[841] And power was out almost for the large part of the state for almost an entire whole week.

[842] I thought about that recently.

[843] If that happened here, three days, this place would almost fall apart.

[844] If there was no power in Los Angeles for the couple days.

[845] People are soft as fuck here, first of all, soft as fuck.

[846] Second of all, they wouldn't be able to keep food.

[847] The difference in Ohio, you could put your food out in the garage and it's cold as shit and it would stay cold out there.

[848] You, in the wintertime out here, it's still 70 degrees and your food's going to rot in a day.

[849] In that article, it said one of the things that is holding on by a threat is a use of mind altering drugs what was that all about i don't know i didn't read the whole thing maybe probably if you talk about antidepressants number three FDA approved narcotics yeah well there's a lot of that re -uptake and yeah selective serotonin re -uptake inhibitors ssrIs those are uh antidepressants yeah no more supply pot u .s population was up 400 percent at late 2000s over the 1990s many of these drugs or selective serotonin re -uptake inhibitors.

[850] These are the type the FDA approved narcotics lone gunmen are frequently associated with.

[851] That's so true that there's a giant percentage of people that wind up shooting people that are on antidepressants.

[852] But in all fairness, you know, there's that causation, causality paradigm, like that causation does not equal causality.

[853] The idea that something happening like just because these two things are combined together it doesn't mean that thing caused that thing and there's other factors that you have to prove i know people are saying you're butchering that right now i know i'm butchering it butchering it but there's other factors that people have to um take into consideration one of the big factors is why was the guy on antidepressants in the first place why was the guy on antipsychotic medication in the first place if he's on it it doesn't mean the medication made him do that it might mean he's fucking crazy and that's why he's taking shit and that's why eventually wound up killing somebody But it could be that, too.

[854] It could be that, and it also could be that the SSRIs with certain people have an effect that makes them less likely to feel.

[855] They don't freak out about stuff as much.

[856] It might make things acceptable to them, including violence.

[857] That's the rub.

[858] That's the scary thing.

[859] Especially if you combine it with other shit.

[860] Like, I know Phil Hartman's family, they won money from Zoloft.

[861] Because Zoloft, allegedly, I wasn't there when the court happened.

[862] I might have to say allegedly was what I read on the internet I'm pretty sure it's the case though because she was doing Zoloft when she shot them and that if you take Zoloft and you combine it with recreational drugs especially alcohol and cocaine especially cocaine is supposed to make you like really nutty when you're doing coke and SSRIs it's like very crazy combination yeah and if you know we run out of depression pills or happy pills we're We're going to, you don't really see that in the movies.

[863] Like half the people are just going crazy and angry and depressed and sad.

[864] It certainly could happen.

[865] Into the world movies.

[866] But, you know, I'm worried about all that.

[867] I'm worried about it.

[868] It's not like, well, you should know.

[869] What you need to be worried about is this.

[870] You know, people have to make that argument.

[871] Well, you're missing the point.

[872] The point is this.

[873] No, that's also the point.

[874] You know, the world's not a black and white thing.

[875] The world has a lot of points.

[876] There's a lot of areas that we need to look at when it comes to the way.

[877] human life is operating today and what we require to keep it operating at this level we need a lot of shit to think about what we need to run this podcast you know we're talking about how such a small shoestring organization because it's just you know just the three of us in this room and it's reaching all these people but you still need like libsen you still need you know you need like hosts and you need websites and you need you need the fiber optic to be laid you need the the ability to transmit, you need electricity.

[878] There's like a lot of shit that has to be in play.

[879] And then when the power goes out, all of it stops.

[880] All of it stops.

[881] And the power goes out for a year or two years.

[882] We might as well be living in Mad Max.

[883] And that's a fact.

[884] That's a fucking fact.

[885] When people started getting desperate and their kids don't have any food and we're trying to figure out how to get gas, whoa, shit's going to get ugly.

[886] You better pack.

[887] If they say, ladies and gentlemen, prepare for at least a year of no power, you got to fucking head north immediately.

[888] I mean, fucking immediately.

[889] I don't care what the traffic jams are like.

[890] Get out of here.

[891] Get out of here.

[892] Get out of here while you can.

[893] You got to get the fuck away from this powder keg because there's a lot of really dumb people here.

[894] And a lot of poor people and a lot of crime that, you know, what are you going to do?

[895] They're going to keep the people in jail and make them starve to death?

[896] The fuck they are.

[897] They're going to open those doors.

[898] And whoa!

[899] Having enough gas to get out of here to live somewhere.

[900] That might not even work.

[901] It might even work.

[902] That might not even work.

[903] Yeah.

[904] It's just, this is a terrible place to be if everything stops.

[905] Because there's too many people and there's too many food requirements and there's too many entitled dumb -dums here.

[906] There's too many people that would just fuck it up for everybody.

[907] When you look at things like the riots, like the riots that happened, granted, they were reacting to a really in their mind, a really important moment where Rodney King, you know, got beat up by these cops.

[908] They saw one segment of a very long car chase and a prolonged fight with the cops, but in the segment they saw, these cops are beating that guy with a fucking club.

[909] They're beating the shit out of them.

[910] They got to quit.

[911] So everybody went nuts.

[912] But they went nuts against people that had nothing to do with it.

[913] they went nuts with people like when they pulled that Reginald Denny out of the car and hit him in the head with a brick on TV I'll never forget that just that guy's out there right now that guy there's a guy like that guy whether it's that guy or specifically or a guy like him he's out there right now waiting for the green light waiting for it and there's a lot of them there's a lot of them and when there's no food man no food and no water those are not good combinations and no gasoline to get the food or water to here whoa good luck so all this shit that we have you know we're we're so amazed at our progress we've done we've done such an amazing job yeah definitely but it could all go away it could go away real quick and we're putting too much important things on our phones and our electronics like if my phone dies right now and all the electricity goes out I don't have numbers to my my friends my family I don't have any ways to contact them you know personal information and yeah i might know 10 numbers right i don't even know that really and and another thing like my mom bought me one of those big medical books you know that's something that you don't even think about like if we have no internet and you get an infection you know like you should know oh poor alcohol on that if you don't have alcohol pee on it you know or whatever you have to do you know i'm watching that uh showtime show the nick we've seen that showtime does some crazy shit man they have to they're like playboy like nobody gives a fuck about them anymore They've got to do something gangster to get noticed.

[914] And it's so graphic.

[915] The guy's, first of all, it's totally unrealistic.

[916] Like, the guy's suffering from massive cocaine withdrawals.

[917] Like, his whole body's going to convulsions.

[918] He's about to die.

[919] Every vein in his body's collapsed.

[920] So she's got to try to find the nurse has to try to find a new vein to shoot cocaine into.

[921] And once she does shoot the vein in, he's fine.

[922] Now he's up and talking swift and knows his stuff.

[923] He's the best.

[924] This is what we're going to do.

[925] I'll accept your resignation.

[926] You know, like the way they, you know, they do these operations, he's like this mastermind genius.

[927] But five minutes ago, he was just spasming and flailing away because he couldn't get his cocaine and all his veins are collapsed.

[928] They shoot it into him and now he's fine.

[929] Can you see what's going on with Homeland?

[930] It's kind of hilarious.

[931] I've never watched it.

[932] The artists at work for Homeland, they wrote shit in Arabic.

[933] How about Homeland is a stupid show?

[934] about how homeland is Islamophobic and homeland is, yeah, yeah, find that.

[935] It's kind of interesting.

[936] See if you can find the actual images.

[937] But what they did is, you know, the artists were they were supposed to put images in the background.

[938] You know, they create these environments that are supposed to look like Bangladesh or, you know, Nepal or wherever the fuck they want to be, right?

[939] And when they have Arabic writing, they have to bring in an artist to write the Arabic writing.

[940] And what I told, these people are just writing shit because they know that these dummies can't read Arabic and they're not checking or double -checking and apparently they get shit wrong all the time accusing homeland of racism appearing in the latest episode.

[941] Apparently they get shit wrong about like alliances and conflicts.

[942] They make stuff up in order to make their show better.

[943] The artists hired out of authenticity to a refugee scene shot in july.

[944] Germany also scrawled messages as Homeland is a joke and it didn't make us laugh That's hilarious People get super sensitive about shows like that You know you're dealing with A war -torn world That specifically focuses on the most War -torn aspects of the world All the places where the United States has military And they're battling fundamentalists having these these you know these scenes and they're putting them in these fictional shows and they're butchering the conflicts and they're when you do stuff like that man like if you're doing a show about game of thrones you can do whatever the fuck you want you know the seven kingdoms you're gonna have dragons you know it's like natasha legero calls the make -em -ups she doesn't like it because it's like make it's a make -em -up but what i don't like about this kind of a show is like if you're fucking around with the reality and if you're you if you twist the conflicts and you twist the alliances and you twist the the actual historical events in order to make your your show like more smooth the problem is people who are watching that show are going to believe you like i know you pretend in that it's is like this is just fiction but it's about real parts of the world they should have like the thing at the beginning like the following program is yeah because yeah i would watch that and think but even if they have the thing at the beginning you're gonna tune in the middle you know you come in you just took a shit it's five minutes in yeah i'll pay attention to this you know you you missed all that stuff where they told you this bullshit but you know they'll make stuff up in order to make their show more interesting or more dramatic what are you doing over there uh did you see the that new technology where like me and you could be sitting in a room next to each other in the tv and i could make you talk by using my facial features and stuff you mean you could make The image of me talk.

[945] Yeah, image if you talk.

[946] How, I mean, that's a game changer.

[947] Yeah, it's pretty freaky.

[948] Do you have that link?

[949] I got this.

[950] I could just send this to you.

[951] But, because that, like in the future, we could be watching Obama on the TV and it wouldn't even be him talking, you know.

[952] Well, it wouldn't be him making those facial expressions.

[953] You can manipulate the image of someone's facial expression.

[954] Like, I could make you have duck lips and make you raise your eyebrows and it would literally just alter your, the face of your.

[955] your image to match the expressions that I'm making.

[956] Right.

[957] Or if I wanted to have a voice, you know, a copy of, like I can, like say, I have another technology where I can have you say a few words and then have a mimic voice that sounds exactly like you.

[958] So then in the future, I can have it look like you are saying something and be completely just a program or two that are working on your voice and your face.

[959] Well, what they've done in the past is they've spliced together little snippets of stuff to make it seem like someone was saying something.

[960] Like they did that with Ronald Reagan.

[961] Ronald Reagan during his administration, he gave some speech.

[962] And somebody, some bad people somewhere in the world, they took his speech and they chopped it up and made it some other broadcast, then broadcast it to people all around the world saying this is how evil Ronald Reagan is.

[963] But then they showed it on television.

[964] I remember they showed all the different pieces.

[965] Look at that.

[966] Target.

[967] reenacted.

[968] It's pretty close.

[969] Wow, it's so weird.

[970] We're looking at a source actor who's on the left and then we're looking at a guy on the right who's the, uh, the CGI'd, like there's a, there's a guy who is the, uh, the guy who's got no expression whatsoever.

[971] And then there's a guy who's manipulating him who sits above him in the frame.

[972] And as he makes these expressions in the frame, the guy on the left, Look at that guy in the left.

[973] His face, even though he's not moving at all, his face in the image is doing the exact same things that the other guy is.

[974] And what's interesting is, like, it sort of seems to be accounting for the size and shape of your face, too.

[975] Like the size of his lips.

[976] Like, see, like, the one guy has the bigger lips.

[977] The guy above him, he's got that big old Angelina Jolie lips.

[978] But the dude in the bottom's got some paper lips, white people lips.

[979] But the paper lips are what's moving, see?

[980] It's interesting, right?

[981] Like, it's not that guy's lips.

[982] It's the guy below him.

[983] It's the guy who's not moving at all.

[984] They're actually using his facial features and the parameters of his facial features.

[985] It's really weird.

[986] Yeah, you're not going to be able to trust shit.

[987] In the future, definitely not.

[988] Yeah.

[989] I mean, it's probably already happened.

[990] We just don't know.

[991] I mean, if we're watching this on YouTube, what does the CIA have right now?

[992] You know, I mean, they must have some insane shit.

[993] By the way, speaking to CIA, Neil deGrasse Tyson talked to Edward Snowden for two episodes of his StarTalk podcast.

[994] It's a must listen.

[995] It's a must listen.

[996] It's amazing.

[997] First of all, Snowden's a lot fucking smarter than I thought he was.

[998] Because I remember thinking, like, wow.

[999] Like this guy, like, he was a high school dropout, and all of a sudden he's working for the NSA or the CIA or whatever he was working for, gathering data like why do they let a high school drop out but then you you hear his story and you realize well he actually did wind up going to college and did wind up going to school and just he would just had a kind of a tumultuous light but he was working for the NSA when he was like 16 like he's a super genius just because he didn't graduate from from high school when you listen to him talk he's very fucking smart and he's very well read and understands exactly with the problems with all of this technology and this unchecked surveillance.

[1000] I mean, he's a hero.

[1001] Well, I don't, you know, I know some people have differing opinions on him.

[1002] But that guy enlightened us to the activities of the government that, they were doing something that was illegal.

[1003] They were doing something that 99 % of people are going to have a real problem with, spying on people that haven't done anything wrong.

[1004] And it's fascinating to listen to him talk.

[1005] he also had some really interesting shit to say about aliens which I thought was really crazy he was like in a really complex super advanced society they're going to have compressed data like everything's going to be compressed and everything's going to be encrypted and when you have compressed encrypted data it's going to be indistinguishable from background noise it's like you're not going to know what you're listening to so if you're listening to like some super advanced aliens communications and you're catching them through the air.

[1006] Good luck trying to figure out what that is.

[1007] Like, they're not broadcasting, like, unless they're trying to reach us using our own primitive methods, they're not broadcasting like that anymore.

[1008] Like, if they're advanced enough so they can get here from another planet, most likely they're encrypting everything and everything is, you know, it's going to, we're going to hear it, it's going to sound like background noise.

[1009] We're not going to know what the fuck it is.

[1010] But to them, it's going to be, you know, it's going to go into their super advanced systems and it'll be clear as day.

[1011] But to us, it's like trying to send an internet signal to someone who was on the Santa Maria back in the Columbus days.

[1012] They were like, what the fuck you're doing?

[1013] I sent you the email.

[1014] What?

[1015] You sent me the email.

[1016] I'm on a boat here.

[1017] I'm getting scurvy.

[1018] What do you mean you said?

[1019] What the fuck's an email?

[1020] What are you talking about?

[1021] Dude, check your phone.

[1022] Check my what?

[1023] Like, they won't even know what you're talking about, right?

[1024] Well, you think about what that is.

[1025] Think of that sort of electronic communication that just a few hundred years ago is completely alien and out of the question to the point where they were.

[1026] would not be able to even conceptualize what you're saying.

[1027] If you tried to explain something to them, my friend keeps sending me these dickpicks on a phone, you'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about?

[1028] Now, think of that and now extrapolate to a society that's a thousand years more advanced than us, or a million years more advanced than us.

[1029] And it's the same sort of lack of ability to recognize what they're doing.

[1030] unless the technology and the science was so good how it should be that there was like a downgradable like it detects our language and goes okay this is english around the year 2015 i will now convert it to a understandable you know communication like well that's if they were trying to communicate with us that's what i said earlier if they chose to send something non -encrypted but the problem is they're going to be communicating with each other it's like if we chose to talk to someone if we could we had a times machine and we can go back to Columbus.

[1031] We would get him a scroll, you know, and it would have some writing on it.

[1032] We could do that.

[1033] It'd be easy as fuck if we actually wanted to communicate with him.

[1034] But if Columbus was out there in the middle of the fucking ocean and he didn't know he had five bars on his phone and he didn't know he has awesome Wi -Fi, he has no idea.

[1035] He's just out there, there's nothing out here.

[1036] What do I do?

[1037] I'm on my own.

[1038] You're not on your own, bitch.

[1039] Pull out phone he doesn't have a phone so like the the ability to do something in the future might be completely outside of our imagination right now are completely outside of our comprehension front page of CNN right now supposedly some high school kids hacked the private accounts of CIA and homeland security chiefs yeah and did you hear where he was doing they hacked his account he was on fucking aOL these old men Yeah, these old fucks.

[1040] We need to get them out.

[1041] Get out of here.

[1042] You've got that.

[1043] Get out of here, Grandpa.

[1044] Oh, my God.

[1045] I kept it in a secure file.

[1046] Oh, my God.

[1047] Are you serious?

[1048] It was a secure file.

[1049] Excuse me. It was on the American...

[1050] What does AOL stand for?

[1051] America Online.

[1052] America Online.

[1053] It is a giant corporation.

[1054] I have never heard of them being hacked in the past.

[1055] AOL email account associated.

[1056] with Brennan that included what does it say included files regarding security clearance application and the hacker also claims to have access to Comcast account associated with Johnson another old man another old man who doesn't know what the fuck is going on with the world of technology God damn it AOL man what the fuck is a guy running the fucking secret service CIA director that's what he is Jesus Christ I wonder that was just like his email he used for porn or something Probably That's how he picked up dudes But look at their two positions The CIA director And the director of Homeland Security Jesus Christ The Department of Homeland Security Secretary But Jesus Christ Those are fucking big people That's You know that's not the guy who is the plumber Oh, the guy who was the plumber, the CIA, still use AOL.

[1057] Tell him he can't.

[1058] Tell him to get on the EDU or what would they have, dot GOV email list, along with fucking Hillary Clinton.

[1059] That cunt's ruining it for everybody.

[1060] Which are private emails.

[1061] Hillary Clinton.

[1062] Did she say what said in her email?

[1063] Well, they got a hold of her emails, you know, because they were concerned that she was emailing from a private account.

[1064] it shows that Tony Blair and George W. Bush were trying to make plans to go into Iraq a year before they did.

[1065] Like they were already like, we're going to Iraq, right?

[1066] We're going in.

[1067] Like right away, they were planning on doing that.

[1068] I think they said from 2002 there was emails where they were talking about doing it.

[1069] So before they even announced that they were doing it, they were already trying to figure it out.

[1070] Old people.

[1071] These goddamn old people should all have to fucking go to war.

[1072] You should have to be, it should war should be for people over 50 that's it everybody under 50 look you lived your life bitch you need to go over there and start shooting people us we have to I have two more years us we have to we have to you know we have to figure this world out you've left us with a mess so you guys need to go to war you're the ones who want to fight all the time oh yeah okay go to war go over there you fuck see Hillary Clinton with a machine gun storm in the beach did you watch any of the debate did you follow that whole Bernie Sanders, Time Warner, CNN thing at all?

[1073] What about the Time Wars?

[1074] So Bernie, a lot of people think Bernie won, like online polls, Twitter, Google.

[1075] If you search his name, for the most part, everyone said Bernie was way ahead of it.

[1076] But not the news.

[1077] But not CNN.

[1078] Even on CNN's own website, they had a poll during the debate, and Bernie Sanders was at 75%.

[1079] Clinton was at 18%.

[1080] But they still declared Hillary Clinton.

[1081] the winner of the debate on CNN.

[1082] That's like judging last comic standing.

[1083] You know, you can't judge the winner of a debate.

[1084] Right.

[1085] It's always going to be someone, unless one of them is like, you know, Dan Quayle or someone totally incompetent.

[1086] So find out that CNN, owned by Time Warner, Time Warner's the seventh largest campaign tributer to Hillary Clinton.

[1087] Like over, I think it was hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars, Time Warner as donated.

[1088] to Hillary.

[1089] Of course.

[1090] I'm sure there's an agenda.

[1091] I mean, we're like laughing.

[1092] You know, those thieves, they robbed somebody.

[1093] What?

[1094] How?

[1095] Did they really rob somebody?

[1096] That's crazy.

[1097] The thieves robbed people?

[1098] We're like surprised that some greasy politician had her greasy hands and some other greasy company that's trying.

[1099] Look what they did to Ron Paul.

[1100] Remember when Ron Paul was doing those debates and smashing people?

[1101] And they made, he was ahead of people in the race and they would look.

[1102] look at the people below him as qualified, sincere candidates, and they would look at Ron Paul.

[1103] Well, it's just a matter of time before Ron Paul's out of the race.

[1104] But, you know, that's not what you're supposed to do when you're a journalist.

[1105] When you're a journalist, you're supposed to look at the actual event and look at the actual facts of the event and then break down what's interesting about the trend.

[1106] But they didn't do that.

[1107] They put a spin on the trend, and the spin was clearly that Ron Paul was a kook and that this wasn't going to last.

[1108] Even though you got people wearing Ron Paul for president's shirts and cheering and screaming, And how do you're, so you are smarter than them to the point where you're going to dictate how the information the news is getting to these people with a biased spin that makes that guy look like a kook?

[1109] Like that's what Fox News did.

[1110] That's what a lot of people did.

[1111] That's what they're going to do to Bertie Sanders.

[1112] They're scared of that guy.

[1113] Yeah, CNN deleted the poll.

[1114] I mean, like, they're - They deleted the poll.

[1115] Find the poll.

[1116] I got it.

[1117] It's in the email.

[1118] Find the saved.

[1119] image from the poll i sent it in the email it's uh right there when you say right there am i supposed to see this somewhere i oh well we'll show it to me you look oh oh my god that's hilarious yeah that's hilarious you silly fucks good lord why they think they can do that why would they delete that it's amazing it's kind of scary though the theory he'll have 11 % yeah he stomped her yeah he stomped her god 75 % well you know what that is that's the online trolls when people don't go along with your opinion they're trolls oh mali you're out we can't have red people I mean we can have Native Americans but you can't be totally red that's a boozer He's either boozing or he fell asleep while he was drunk and he got a sunburn.

[1120] Look at that guy.

[1121] He's an Irish guy with a big red face.

[1122] That's ridiculous.

[1123] You can't be in there.

[1124] How did he get anything?

[1125] I never heard of that guy.

[1126] If I haven't heard of you by now, it's over.

[1127] Yeah.

[1128] Throw in the towel.

[1129] There's the black guy who doesn't believe in evolution.

[1130] There's the Hillary who's got the bad email account.

[1131] And there's Bernie Sanders.

[1132] He wants to give away everybody's money.

[1133] but apparently economists looked at Bernie Sanders' plans for reducing deficit and they're like, what?

[1134] Like, this doesn't work.

[1135] Like, I don't think anybody looks at it and goes, this is a wonderful idea that'll fix our problems.

[1136] He's a serious, hardcore socialist in a lot of ways.

[1137] But I think that's good.

[1138] It's good to have a guy like that stirring it up.

[1139] If that guy got into power, listen, it's fucking better than having another neocon.

[1140] It's way better than having another Dick Cheney.

[1141] behind the fucking puppet stand with his hand up George Bush's ass that fucked us those eight years fucked us they changed the tone of our country they went from a time where there was this this feeling of America where everybody was sympathetic where people were making even Paris they're putting on their newspaper we're all Americans today it was an amazing time where a horrible thing happened and the whole world came to us and they came to us and they extended their love and friendship.

[1142] And what do we do?

[1143] We started invading bitches.

[1144] We invaded people that didn't have anything to do with it.

[1145] We fucked up to the point where eight years later, everybody hated us.

[1146] Everybody went from loving America to why were you in Iraq?

[1147] Like, what do you, there's no weapons there.

[1148] There's nothing that you guys are assholes.

[1149] What are you doing with all that oil?

[1150] What do you doing with all that?

[1151] Oh, you're just rebuilding shit?

[1152] What are you doing?

[1153] You just have no, wait, you have no bid contracts for billions of dollars?

[1154] Well, hold on, hold on.

[1155] Your fucking vice president was the CEO of the company that gets the no -bid contracts.

[1156] Are you, are you saying that fucking transparent?

[1157] That, is that transparent?

[1158] That's what happened.

[1159] Those people fucked us.

[1160] If we had Obama in office, say what you want about Obama.

[1161] But Obama would have never, it would, there was no way.

[1162] Unless the president has no fucking say whatsoever on how things go down, unless it's that dirty.

[1163] There's no way that guy would have.

[1164] approached it the same way.

[1165] There's no way he would have come up with some reason why we had to invade Iraq.

[1166] I say that, but he did want us to invade Syria and people were like, what?

[1167] Remember that?

[1168] That doesn't come up anymore, does it?

[1169] No, that shit ended.

[1170] Do you think news should be put under stricter guidelines for, you know, like that should be illegal?

[1171] You know, CNN picking aside, giving money to a president and then announcing it, or look at the former Fox guy that just got arrested for, you know, advocating a fake CIA past or Brian Adams, who you know.

[1172] Brian Williams.

[1173] Brian Williams.

[1174] It's like a knife.

[1175] He just released a CD that covered the whole Taylor Swift album, I highly recommended.

[1176] He reimagined Taylor Swift's whole album.

[1177] Oh, boy.

[1178] That's creepy.

[1179] It didn't in a real dark.

[1180] It doesn't sound like Taylor Swift.

[1181] Is it like when Garth Brooks had his alter ego?

[1182] It's kind of like Willie Nelson covering.

[1183] nine snails.

[1184] I hurt myself today.

[1185] Johnny Cash, not Willie Nelson.

[1186] Jesus Christ.

[1187] Eddie Murphy told the Bill Cosby joke.

[1188] He got an award for the Mark Twain Comedy Award.

[1189] It's going to be on PBS.

[1190] And he actually did like a whole bit He said he's writing comedy again.

[1191] Yeah, TMZ had him on yesterday saying he was going to...

[1192] He should just go full Jim Norton.

[1193] Look, I like trannies.

[1194] This is what he should just do.

[1195] And come back.

[1196] back to the fold.

[1197] Just tell us who you are.

[1198] You can't your dick suck by dudes, but you're really straight.

[1199] That's okay.

[1200] You're Eddie Murphy, man. You come clean, but he can't, you know, it's different, man. It's different.

[1201] Like, the black community has different rules.

[1202] They have different rules which you can and can't do.

[1203] And some things you need to keep under wraps.

[1204] I don't know if he picks those transgender prostitutes up just because he was a nice guy and he wants to give him a ride home or if he really likes them.

[1205] But according to my buddy, he was on the force, then.

[1206] He's actually been there while it went down.

[1207] They're like, it wasn't, it wasn't just one.

[1208] Wow.

[1209] He likes them.

[1210] Which is fine.

[1211] Like, Norton talks about it all the time.

[1212] People joke about it all the time, and everybody loves Norton.

[1213] If you don't love Norton, go fuck yourself.

[1214] How about that?

[1215] And I think if Eddie Murphy just came clean, but people turn on, no. All the people that voted for Proposition 8, that was when they found out that are you had a great joke about that about black people want equality everybody was like talking about equality except the gays like nope not you can't can't get married like black people like overwhelmingly voted again against or for proposition eight which repealed gay marriage there's like Mormons Mormons spent a lot of money on it and a lot of black people voted for it's religion religion strong and black yeah but it's also the gay thing it's like uh there's a certain amount of homophobia that's accepted in certain parts of the African -American community.

[1216] That was a very politically correct way of saying that.

[1217] Black folks don't like gays.

[1218] And then it's not even all gays, man. It's just you can't really talk about it too much.

[1219] But what is the Bill Cosby joke you told?

[1220] Oh, you may play it?

[1221] Sure.

[1222] Let's only take a minute.

[1223] Let's do it.

[1224] Play it.

[1225] Are we going to get pulled off YouTube while we're on YouTube?

[1226] Yeah, how's that way?

[1227] I'll just play the audio.

[1228] Okay.

[1229] Oh, and if you're tuning into this now, and you're like, God damn it, Joe Rogan, why'd you post the wrong link on Ustream?

[1230] I made a mistake, sorry.

[1231] I've been doing Ustream for six years.

[1232] But the other thing about it is that you can, on YouTube, one of the reasons why we decided to do it on YouTube is you could just rewind it to the beginning.

[1233] Even though it's streaming, you can go back to the beginning.

[1234] Oh, really?

[1235] Yeah.

[1236] It's a superior platform.

[1237] Did y 'all make Bill give his back?

[1238] Y 'all make Bill.

[1239] No, because I know there was a big outcry from people.

[1240] they was trying to get Bill to give his trophies back.

[1241] You know you f***ed up when they want you to give your trophies back.

[1242] He should do one show we just come out and just talk crazy now.

[1243] I would like to talk to some of the people who feel that I should give back my trophies!

[1244] That's it?

[1245] Yeah, they said he goes on a little bit longer, but this doesn't air until November 23rd on P .S. Oh, so they don't, they want you to tune in.

[1246] Dude, I like his timing.

[1247] He should come back.

[1248] He would kill it.

[1249] He would kill it.

[1250] He would kill it.

[1251] Look, all that tranny stuff aside, who cares about that stuff?

[1252] He's one of the all -time greats.

[1253] Eddie Murphy, when, not raw, I don't think raw was as good as delirious, but that, delirious at the time good lord that was good he was on fire he was so powerful imagine him just hanging out the store again too many people would swarm him it's hard for us it's hard for you you get swarmed at the store imagine if you're edie murphy the store's filled up with weirdos it's a magnet for weirdos it's always been a magnet for weirdos it's gotten gotten crazy lately too crazy that's why they have the rope off in the parking lot they tell people they can't go near the cars because people are backing their cars out and there's a bunch of drunks wandering through the parking lot you know trying to uh take a picture with steve run as easy and they're getting run over by cars um this this thing this article that i wanted to talk about when we got here a transgender woman um she was a woman she applied to an all male all female college well wellsley wellesley college i used to actually uh know a girl from wellsley back in the dizzay um it's an all girls campus And so she applied for the college.

[1254] She was born a female, but then decided to transition into, she had a very hilarious.

[1255] This is hilarious.

[1256] Listen to the description of how she introduces himself, herself, whatever.

[1257] Masculine of center gender queer.

[1258] Exactly.

[1259] Exactly.

[1260] I am in love with this story.

[1261] I am in love with these kind of people.

[1262] I am in love with people that are so fucking preposterous that they take preposterous to an art form.

[1263] And they become living parity, whether they like it or not.

[1264] Listen to what the fuck I just said.

[1265] She goes to a college.

[1266] She applies to an all -girls college, a super -liberal all -girls college.

[1267] She decides that she is transgender and decides that she wants to, she introduces herself as masculine of center gender queer, changes her name to Timothy, decided that she's Timothy, and asks people to use the male pronoun when referring to him.

[1268] Okay.

[1269] So, welcome on campus until the day that she announced, he announced, okay, it's he now, whatever, that he wanted to run for the school's office of Multicultural Affairs Coordinator, whose job is to promote a culture of diversity.

[1270] Now, who, you would think, would need diversity more than someone who's a transgender man. You know, I mean, that's a very small segment of the population, and they're often maligned, and, you know, this is a socially marginalized group, and it would be nice for an open -minded liberal college to accept someone like this and to recognize what a perfect person to be a part of our campaign, encouraging people to, you know, to be more open -minded and accept people.

[1271] No, they attacked her because now they felt that she is a white man, and they don't want a white man in that position because of a white man is in that position, then they're supporting the patriarchy.

[1272] So there was three other candidates for the gig, right?

[1273] All women of color, wonderful if one of them win, and then you got, okay, you know, your problem solved.

[1274] You got a woman of color in that position.

[1275] Plenty of diversity there.

[1276] You're good, right?

[1277] No, they all dropped out.

[1278] And then they started an anonymous Facebook campaign encouraging people not to vote at all to keep a white man from winning the position.

[1279] This is amazing.

[1280] This is the left eating itself.

[1281] That's what's happening.

[1282] They're eating themselves.

[1283] It is a feeding frenzy.

[1284] I used to have piranhas, okay?

[1285] And one of the things about piranhas is when one gets a limp, they just jack that motherfucker.

[1286] They are the most ruthless cunts.

[1287] when one piranha would just be you know sometimes you have a fish tank one fish will just start swimming weird they start swimming kind of half sideways for some reason you're like is that fish okay and you have to look at them like what's going on with that fish that shit didn't last in that tank baby no those motherfuckers are just they just start taking chunks out of them that's what's happening here the left is they're turning on themselves they've run out of outrage they've made so many safe places they don't want anything to be safe anymore and they want to be able to go to war over everything.

[1288] They're ferocious.

[1289] They're piranhas.

[1290] They are social idea piranhas.

[1291] And they're attacking a genderqueal, gender queer, masculine of center man for not being diverse enough.

[1292] For being a part of the patriarchy.

[1293] Born a woman.

[1294] Born a woman lived as a woman.

[1295] Nope.

[1296] You're a white man now.

[1297] You fuck a piece of shit.

[1298] You're a part of the problem.

[1299] It makes no sense.

[1300] It does make sense though.

[1301] It makes sense because it highlights what this movement is all about.

[1302] It's socially retarded people that are left alone to their own devices and they're just devouring each other like zombies.

[1303] They're just tearing into each other like zombies that are trapped into a fucking room.

[1304] They're just ripping each other apart.

[1305] You're not diverse enough.

[1306] You're not progressive enough.

[1307] Fuck you.

[1308] You're such a pig.

[1309] I'm triggered.

[1310] They're just triggering each other left and right.

[1311] This is an onion article.

[1312] This is a fuck.

[1313] fucking onion article and it's not.

[1314] This is the National Review.

[1315] This is a goddamn onion article and it's not.

[1316] Transgender woman can't be diversity officer because she's a white man now.

[1317] Makes zero sense.

[1318] No, it makes all the sense in the world.

[1319] It's not a fake article.

[1320] I mean, that seems like 100 % of fake article.

[1321] It's perfect.

[1322] It's perfect.

[1323] It's amazing.

[1324] It's beautiful.

[1325] It's a rose.

[1326] It's a rose in a bad neighborhood.

[1327] It pops out of the concrete.

[1328] and it comes out perfect.

[1329] It's amazing.

[1330] This is art. It's the universe creating art with our own folly.

[1331] That's what it is.

[1332] It's culture.

[1333] It's people.

[1334] You know, there's something that happens to people when you deny reality.

[1335] When you don't look at things objectively.

[1336] Like, there's, I think, like, priests that molest kids, right?

[1337] Some of that has to be from suppression.

[1338] Some of it has to be probably their abuse themselves.

[1339] There's probably all sorts of...

[1340] But some of that perversion has got to...

[1341] to come from suppression.

[1342] It's like the Catholic school girl thing that everybody knows.

[1343] You know, when I was in high school, there was no scientists in my fucking ninth grade class, but we all knew that girls who went to Catholic schools were hos.

[1344] And why are they hos?

[1345] They're hos because everybody tells them they can't be a hoe.

[1346] Everybody's talked to them constantly about, you are going to go to hell.

[1347] Do not touch a man's genitals.

[1348] Don't you do anything.

[1349] Those girls were freaks.

[1350] They were the biggest freaks.

[1351] And we all knew it.

[1352] There was no books on it.

[1353] There was no YouTube videos that we could watch, but we fucking knew it, man. We all knew it.

[1354] And I think it's a suppression issue.

[1355] And this is suppressing individual identity.

[1356] This is suppressing free speech.

[1357] This is suppressing objectivity.

[1358] You're not allowed to have unique or intertwined thoughts.

[1359] You're not allowed to share opinions with the left and with the right.

[1360] You're not allowed to.

[1361] You have to have, and you're constantly worried about being called out.

[1362] You're constantly worried about being outed and doxed and called out and shit.

[1363] shamed.

[1364] Everyone's shaming people and attacking people and it's this fucking feeding frenzy.

[1365] I love it.

[1366] I'm happy.

[1367] I'm so happy when I read a story like this.

[1368] I would encourage this woman to fight to the death for her position.

[1369] A man. She's a man now.

[1370] Fight to the death for that position.

[1371] I mean literally, I want you to show up for school in a fucking in armor with a sword and let them know that you are you are here because you are a warrior for diversity.

[1372] And you're going to you're going to you're going to you're going to you're going to you're to take this to the very end to the very end of time oh it's amazing this is an amazing story it's like one of the greatest stories the the universe is ever told because it's it just and it highlights that story that we were just talking about where the um the thing that was up on the thing earlier with the the the united states is like a powder keg this is like what we're talking about like entitled ridiculous people that they don't live in reality you're You're not, and you're, you're concentrating on nonsense, but why are they concentrating on nonsense?

[1373] Because they don't have to worry about feeding themselves.

[1374] They don't have to worry about shelter.

[1375] They don't have to worry about being in Ohio having no fucking power for a week, and everybody has to stay alive.

[1376] You can't get to work.

[1377] Everybody's like walking back and forth to each other's house, sharing food, and going out and getting firewood together and dragging it back at some little kids wagon.

[1378] That's what people do when they want to survive.

[1379] When you want to survive, you come up with ways that you can all work together.

[1380] When it's too easy to survive, you start attacking people for nonsense.

[1381] And that's what the fuck is going on here.

[1382] You got a campaign to keep...

[1383] We're going to make sure that a white man's not going to win this.

[1384] Like as if she's really a white man. Why are we pretending that's a man?

[1385] Left of queer, gender, queer, masculine of center.

[1386] Shut the fuck up.

[1387] You're a girl.

[1388] You're a girl or a guy.

[1389] Whatever you are.

[1390] cares what the fuck it's probably way more to the story she's just a big bitch you know like she's just got she's probably just eating too much pussy on campus they're all mad yeah she's too good at it she's too good at it but she's genderqueer so that means i don't think you do anything i don't know what that means i don't even think they know what it means but you know what you ever a pansexual there was a woman who was like she was making history this is hilarious this is a hilarious story she's making history because she was the first jessette Oh, she was the first pansexual person to take office.

[1391] What the fuck are you talking about?

[1392] What does that mean?

[1393] Pan.

[1394] She means she doesn't sexually identify.

[1395] She's not particularly sexually attracted to either race or either gender.

[1396] It's either one or both.

[1397] Miley Cyrus is pansexual?

[1398] Of course she is.

[1399] That's called being a freak.

[1400] Pansexual.

[1401] What exactly does that mean?

[1402] But go find the politician.

[1403] First politician.

[1404] as pansexual.

[1405] It's just so stupid, pansexual politician.

[1406] So it's like a new word for bisexual?

[1407] It's not even bisexual.

[1408] It's because, like, they have to be special.

[1409] It has to be.

[1410] Mary Gonzalez, Texas State Representative, identifies as pansexual in new interview.

[1411] First of all, good for her.

[1412] Eat that pussy, suck that dick.

[1413] Have a party, honey.

[1414] I'm not hating.

[1415] Do whatever you want.

[1416] But do we really have to make a new name for it?

[1417] Fucking Christ.

[1418] And I posted something about this a while back on Twitter, and there was people that were defending the term pansexual.

[1419] I'm like, fuck you.

[1420] Fuck you for trying to muddy up the world.

[1421] Fuck you for having this on your mind, unless you're mocking it.

[1422] Fuck you for taking this seriously.

[1423] Fuck you for this being an actual thing where you want to debate it.

[1424] How bad is your job?

[1425] How bored are you at work that you're sitting in front of your Twitter account defending pansexuality?

[1426] You stop!

[1427] You stop!

[1428] She could do it.

[1429] I have no problem with her doing it.

[1430] Don't get me wrong.

[1431] But you fucking stop.

[1432] If you think you're going to defend that, fuck you.

[1433] You need to go cut snow.

[1434] Cut snow.

[1435] You need to go cut trees.

[1436] You need to go cut trees and shovel snow over at Jamie's parents' house in the middle of the winter when the fucking power's off for a month.

[1437] That's what you need to do.

[1438] You need to dig Brian Redband's mom out of the fucking woods.

[1439] Dig her out of the woods.

[1440] It's a mild dirt road back to that lady's house.

[1441] Get going, fuck face.

[1442] That's like, what is that?

[1443] How many thousand feet is a mile?

[1444] 5 ,000 5 ,000 plus feet of snow shoveling You fuck How much for the driveway You remember that You remember that when you're a kid You'd go to a lady's house And you go to a man We're shoveling stone Well how much for the driveway You're like we're gonna need 20 for this one That's too much That's too much It's a long driveway man It's gonna take us a couple hours Oh that's just too much They would get mad I do not miss those days Or having to mow people's lawns You do not miss it?

[1445] I did not miss mowing.

[1446] I hated mowing lawns.

[1447] I was watching Anthony Bourdain's show last night.

[1448] He did a special on San Francisco.

[1449] It was pretty badass.

[1450] But then I watched one that I had on the DVR.

[1451] I was doing some work, so I was like just kind of like half watching it while I was working on the laptop.

[1452] And he had one from Montreal in the middle of the winter.

[1453] And you're like, oh, Jesus.

[1454] I forgot.

[1455] I forgot what that is like, whoof.

[1456] They're just all bundled up outside.

[1457] everyone's face is beat red every breath that comes out of your mouth is frozen because that place is wet that's a wet cold too that's a by the ocean cold zero degrees by the ocean is a mother fucker dude that's not like the cryotherapy tank I got some new videos that you have to watch sometime on YouTube it's a dick you sent me a dude's dick the other day that dude dancing and pulls his dick out well you let you send him to me me so much that I accuse you of sending me a guy's dick and you're like I didn't well sometimes people send me shit and I immediately just send it to whoever is uh these these guys made this uh prank video and what they did is they took a taser and they put it in the seat of a bicycle and attached it to a cell phone so he can you can call it and make activate the taser then they took went to compton and just like put their bike down you know and waited until somebody stole their And so then you see people like riding like taking off and then they like call the cell phone and it Shocks their balls you know while they're sitting on the bike.

[1458] Oh my God And so they just fall off the bike.

[1459] It's like an advanced version of that a bait car show.

[1460] Yes Yeah.

[1461] Yeah and then they have it there's this other guy that just attached a rope to it like a secret little like rope to it so people like grab the bike and take off down this hill and then when the rope catches up it just throws the bike back and they just rack their balls like on it.

[1462] Oh my god.

[1463] So these people are just breaking balls and like, but they were thief so who cares?

[1464] That's a loophole, right?

[1465] It's a loophole.

[1466] But you could get really fucked up doing that.

[1467] Like you can get hurt bad.

[1468] Yeah, but they're stealing so who gives a fuck?

[1469] I know.

[1470] So I'm addicted to these new things like these bait car things and bait bikes so.

[1471] Ian Edwards has a hilarious bit.

[1472] Ian has a hilarious bit on that bait car show.

[1473] Oh yeah?

[1474] Oh, it's so funny.

[1475] I worked He worked in San Diego, right?

[1476] Yeah, he worked with Ian in San Diego Friday night.

[1477] Fuck, he's funny, man. He's such a good dude, too.

[1478] He's one of those guys that he's been writing for shows forever, so he hasn't been, like, touring a lot and doing the road a lot.

[1479] But he's also been doing comedy for, like, 25 years.

[1480] He's one of the best guys in the world.

[1481] He really is.

[1482] He's, like, if there's one guy that people just don't know about, that I go, God damn, people should know about Ian Edwards.

[1483] Like, people are knowing about Tom Segura now.

[1484] I mean, he's doing his second Netflix special.

[1485] just did it you know, everything's going great for him, you know, Ari, obviously everything's going great for Ari.

[1486] Duncan, if he just would put out some content, like, Duncan's brilliant, his comedy's amazing, he's excellent, he just doesn't put anything out.

[1487] He doesn't do any fucking specials.

[1488] I actually have not really heard anything from Duncan in a while, like online or...

[1489] It's hard to find a stand -up.

[1490] You know, I mean, he works all the time, I mean, he was at the store the other night, killing it, he's still hilarious, he just doesn't put anything out.

[1491] he's constantly working on his podcast.

[1492] I think Duncan likes doing podcasts more than anything, which is fine, because it's amazing.

[1493] I mean, it's really good.

[1494] He's really good at it.

[1495] He's one of the best ranters.

[1496] Like, Duncan, like, when you do podcasts with him, one of the things that happens, you've got to know, like, when to back off and just let him rant because you don't want to trip up what he's doing because he gets in these, like, these, like, linguistic waves that he starts riding, and he just says this amazing and colorful way of describing things and sometimes he'll paint a picture that you wouldn't expect or you wouldn't have ever painted without it it's and that's that's something that you don't really do when you do stand up in a way because like the beauty of his style of of doing podcast the entertaining aspect of it doesn't translate in anything else but it does a little bit to stand up but really it's just a beautiful style of ranting about subjects that's great for a podcast it makes it like super enjoyable and interesting.

[1497] But to that, I think that to him is more exciting and more fun than podcasts.

[1498] And it certainly reaches more people.

[1499] Or comedy, yeah, than comedy, yeah.

[1500] Because it certainly reaches more people because, obviously, if he's doing a show, unless he's putting it out on Netflix or Comedy Central or something like that, I mean, he's doing stand -up for a couple hundred people at a time, or a thousand people at the most, you know.

[1501] But if he's doing that podcast, his podcast is hit in hundreds of thousands every month He's always been one of my favorite stand -ups You know you know when I first moved out here I would like go to almost all his comedy shows with him You know and just because I had no friends I'd like go with him He's one of the funnest people to watch on stage Especially when he had little hobo and just like Somebody stole it Yeah I know it's San Francisco But I there's people like him I wish would do more stand -up Like Nick Swartson Yeah I love Nick He does stand up lot he just doesn't put anything out right you know i just think he needs to put together a special he's so good man he's so fucking funny but but everybody knows duncan you know i think a lot of people know duncan because of the podcast world ian is a guy who doesn't really have a big he was doing something with you for a while right the preposterous sessions you i just kind of do what i do with the roast battle he just replayed it on death squad for him oh so it was his was his initially trying to help him out with the yeah he needs to I don't know what it is.

[1502] I think he just needs to not write anymore on those shows.

[1503] Because when you write on those shows, you can't tour.

[1504] You're stuck.

[1505] He just turned down a big gig because they told them that he couldn't pitch anything else.

[1506] They told him, you know, Kim is going through this, some shit right now with this.

[1507] These companies, they get you, and then they say that they own you intellectually, not just while you're working now.

[1508] Like, say if you write on a show, right?

[1509] They want you to not just write on that show.

[1510] they want to own you if you have a movie script that you're writing on the side they want to own you if you have a book they decide because they can because their model is kind of rotting away like the model of the sitcom that's a fucking there used to be a lot of sitcoms back in the day like in the 90s when i was on news radio everything was a sitcom there was four or five sitcoms a night you know you had sex in the city you had friends you had the single guy you had caroline in the city sex in the city it was confusing them you know you had all these different networks that had all these different shows everybody had sitcoms he had four or five sitcoms a week six seven sitcoms a week whatever the fuck the number was you had dramas all these different shows they're dying now they have a few you know you have like undatable that's doing that weird shit where they're trying to do a live version of it yeah we'll talk about that and then you have like i guess two broke girls is still doing fairly little big bang theory is big bang theory seems to me like like uh you know how they do that music that they play for the cobra and then the cobra just like he can't move he gets hypnotized by the music i think that is what happens with retards when they watch the big bang theory i think it's somehow or another gets them to tune in just long enough to play those commercials and then it ends and they go what just happened and they wake up what did i just watch there's only a few now though so because of that they want to own everybody they want to own they want to own all the stuff you did now what our friend Kim it gets even crazier because she's not even a writer she's employed as a secretary for a company and this the company that she's employed for yeah same thing yeah the company that she's employed for wants to own a project that she's created well I kind of her own I kind of get where they're coming from how because she works at a place that there's a lot of they make a lot of shows all right so she has to interact with a lot of important people she sees a lot of things behind the scenes so what they do that for is like a basic thing in hollywood so where she can't tell the competition like oh hey you know uh jeff foxworthy is going to be on the next show and uh that's just a confidentiality way that's what she they're pretty much saying is that that's not according to her i think you're wrong i've read what she said and when she sent me right what she she she talked to her last night she said she made it seem like their reasoning is that they don't want me to create like the like the like the like a show using secrets that they use you know on the side you know like because she's open to do a lot of secrets dude they said the words yeah we own your brain yeah that's what they said there yeah a lot of places we own your brain while you work here we own your brain that's retarded that's retarded I don't give a fuck what reasoning they have.

[1511] She's a secretary or a receptionist, whatever.

[1512] She answers phones.

[1513] If they wanted to sign a confidentiality agreement, you do that.

[1514] Yeah.

[1515] But the idea that they say to her, we own your brain, they want to own her project.

[1516] They want to own the projects that she creates.

[1517] The particular, I think, things she worked for, though, is very close to TV shows.

[1518] So, like, they can't have somebody just making TV shows based off secrets that she's seen.

[1519] But what are the secrets?

[1520] See, like, if you steal some...

[1521] What, but what is that?

[1522] Like, that's the purpose of working for some place where you're making shit money.

[1523] When you work as an intern, say if you work for an intern for the Ope and Anthony show or whatever, the reason why they're not paying you shit is because you're learning about the business.

[1524] Like, well, we're going to not pay anything, and then what are you going to do?

[1525] You're going to learn shit here and then figure it out on your own, and then you can't be my slave anymore?

[1526] That's ridiculous.

[1527] That company's full of cunts.

[1528] That's a cunty company.

[1529] like why would you why are you paying her five bucks an hour then like what or whatever she's getting some getting much like what that's the whole purpose of working in a in an entry level gig is you're supposed to learn what you're going to ticket and you're going to learn and you're going to go profit elsewhere it's one thing if she steals an idea she steals an idea they should sue her but if she's not stealing ideas if she's just learning about the business you're trying to penalize her or you're trying they're trying to own what she's doing you know not just like kind of own it but according to her they want to own it they want to own everything she does while she works there that's crazy but that's also why you shouldn't have a job like that yeah she should just be a comic just struggle get a waitress job you know this this everybody wants to like there's nothing wrong with waitress jobs they're fine it's good unless you waitress in on fat tuesday at the comedy store fuck that doesn't exist anymore do you watch the daily show do you like this new guy because i saw you tweet something the other day about it and i don't know if you actually i mean i tried to watch it i'm not on board that guy i haven't seen it yet um um on board that guy But there's a, there's a Russell Peters thing where Russell Peter said that the guy's a thief.

[1530] And then after he said, you know, he said the guy stole from him, the guy stole from someone else, I saw the bit that Russell said he stole from him.

[1531] It's the same exact premise.

[1532] And if you saw Russell do it, that's probably exactly where he got it from.

[1533] And then there was a thing where he recently did a bit that was a straight up Dave Chappelle bit from like the early 2000s, right?

[1534] Yeah.

[1535] And 100 % that was ganked.

[1536] Right.

[1537] It was the same, it wasn't, it was the same wording, same premise, same everything.

[1538] And it's a Dave Chappelle bit, so you know that bit.

[1539] So if you're a stand -up comic, you know that bit.

[1540] I mean, it's like Louis C .K.'s bag of dicks joke.

[1541] There's like jokes that, like, you kind of know.

[1542] Or like, uh...

[1543] Bill Cosby.

[1544] Yeah, yeah, the Noah's Ark bit.

[1545] Or like, uh, you know, Richard Pryor's vampire bit, vampire in the hood.

[1546] You know that bit, man. There's a class, Sam Kinnison's having sex with the homosexual necrophiliac joke that you know that bit people know that bit so if you if you try to steal that come on son you can't that's he didn't he didn't mix it up a little yeah but he mixed it up a little with uh with russell with russell you could tell the origin was most likely the same that he probably saw russell do it but it's a race joke and it's vague enough so and the way he did he danced around it enough yeah russell in that interview by the way that woman that interviewed Russell in that, oh my God, she's like, are you sure she's not jealous because he's hotter and younger?

[1547] He's skinnier.

[1548] Yeah.

[1549] Yeah.

[1550] Skinnier and cuter, she said.

[1551] Yeah.

[1552] Russell, you can tell, he also mentions another person that he stole from.

[1553] I don't know if the other comic is, but it seems like a smoke versus fire thing, definitely.

[1554] Smoking fire.

[1555] Yeah.

[1556] Yeah.

[1557] Most likely.

[1558] Yeah, and then he's there.

[1559] Yeah, they're hanging out, though.

[1560] Do you think that?

[1561] Who gives a fuck?

[1562] It's not, he's not, Dave probably doesn't read internet.

[1563] He's probably not.

[1564] even online.

[1565] Yeah, it's true.

[1566] Probably has no idea it happened.

[1567] People are getting to him.

[1568] It's like, hmm.

[1569] So they stole his jokes, but they're friends.

[1570] Well, okay, first of all, if you're a calculated guy like Trevor Noah, right?

[1571] Why wouldn't you do that?

[1572] Wouldn't you put this?

[1573] What is it, a fucking coincidence that a couple days later he takes his picture with Dave, and who knows when this picture happened?

[1574] When did this picture take place?

[1575] Did the picture, but did the photo get taken yesterday?

[1576] That's what it's saying.

[1577] They went out to dinner or lunch yesterday, and then this went before that Mark Twain thing that Eddie Murphy was just at.

[1578] There's a bunch of comedians together for that.

[1579] Well, okay.

[1580] Well, maybe he got together with Dave because he wanted to talk to him about it and tell him he had no idea or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[1581] But when Russell did it, Russell said that he got this massive media backlash after he said the guy was a thief.

[1582] And then he said it was a prank.

[1583] He said it was a prank.

[1584] Now, in the interest of confidentiality, I will go no further.

[1585] But you can fucking do the math.

[1586] I think My personal guess would be that it wasn't a prank, you'd do do it.

[1587] Well, we don't need to go further.

[1588] That's what go no further means, Brian.

[1589] But, you know, Russell's the nicest fucking guy on the planet Earth.

[1590] He really is.

[1591] If Russell Peter says you're a piece of shit, I tend to agree.

[1592] Usually.

[1593] I mean, I don't know.

[1594] But it's whatever, man. You know, you also got to realize this fucking dude was doing it in South Africa.

[1595] It's like being on the moon.

[1596] It's like doing stand -up on the moon.

[1597] I mean, there's a few comics there, I'm sure, but their scene is, it's so, I mean, it might have been their style to do other people's shit.

[1598] And I'm not exonerating them in any way, but you've got to think like, if you're in a band, okay, and you're in fucking Florida, guess what?

[1599] You're going to do other people's music, you know, if you really want to be a big band and you're learning and one day you guys want to be huge, you're going to do some cover songs.

[1600] and in the world of stand -up you don't do that in the world of stand -up you can't get away with that but I guarantee you there are some people right now that could be really good comedians someday and they're in some really obscure market in the middle of nowhere or perhaps they're in some place that speaks Dutch or some place that speaks French and they're stealing some Bill Cosby bit right now or they're stealing some Bill Hicks bit right now that was always a big thing with Hicks there was a guy in Amsterdam that was doing stand -up in Dutch and he was just stealing all of Bill Hicks as shit.

[1601] But some other guy who was bilingual realized it and was like what is this?

[1602] In Montreal, it's a huge issue.

[1603] The French people up there, like the French speaking, they do French speaking shows and these guys will just gang dudes material, just gang Americans material and just translate it into France.

[1604] They don't leave that area.

[1605] It's a very centralized area.

[1606] Like Montreal and Quebec, totally.

[1607] They're very, proud there's a giant population of french speaking people and you can get away with doing a french speaking act and steal a bunch of shit but if they are doing that man if they're listening in this you got to stop it's going to fuck you up it's going to ruin you it's going to fuck you up even if you know even if you're getting away with it now you'll you'll develop tendencies and you're going to want to steal when things aren't going well you know and that's those moments when things aren't going well that's what defines you as a comic that's what pulls you out of the fire there's moments i will tank bits on purpose when i'm working on shit i will take the energy down i will i will put myself in bad positions because it's the only way you you learn how to get out of them and figure out like if i don't believe in a bit that much i'll do a strong part of a bit and then I'll back off of it and almost like put myself in a scared spot where I have to flail around to try to find a punchline.

[1608] I always have another bit on the ready to jump in with, to bring the crowd back.

[1609] But if you don't do that, and everybody does that, Diaz does it that way, Ari does it that way.

[1610] A lot of people do it that way.

[1611] We've talked about it.

[1612] We do it that way because that's the way you find shit, but you got to go out in the deep water.

[1613] And people don't want to go on that deep water.

[1614] Those guys who steal, they never go in that deep water, man. They go into those shallow kill zones, and they like to have these tight, nice, short, chopping sets where there's no pause.

[1615] Bam, bam, bam, bam.

[1616] Next joke.

[1617] Oh, my God, was that a pause?

[1618] Are they not laughing?

[1619] Fuck, steal.

[1620] And then they'll jump in with a steel.

[1621] And that's the Mencia approach.

[1622] That's why when Mincia would always say, he never bombed ever, everybody, everybody was like, what?

[1623] Never?

[1624] You never bombed?

[1625] Dude, Chappelle bombed a year ago, and there's a video of it online.

[1626] In 22 ,000 people, and if he's not the best comic in the world today, he's top three, right?

[1627] I think the best is Joey.

[1628] But Joey's bombed.

[1629] I've seen Joey.

[1630] Joey called me the other day.

[1631] He told me he bombed in Toledo.

[1632] Those fucking white people, Joe Rogan.

[1633] Those fucking white people hated me. He goes, the Desquot people came out, but those fucking white people, oh my God, they hated me. He was in Toledo.

[1634] But you see what I'm saying?

[1635] And he's, in my opinion, I think Joey's the funniest guy I've ever seen in my life.

[1636] I've never seen anybody that makes me laugh as hard as he does.

[1637] and even he can still bomb you can just because he's out there doing it he's got notebooks he's fucking flinging jokes around you have those days where you're on and days where you're off that's part of developing and it's constant it keeps going so these guys like these Trevor Noah cats man if that's your tendency you're gonna keep with that he's going to be very hard for that dude to break yeah that's it's gonna he might be able to break that tendency because he's famous now He might be able to hire writers, and he's smart, and he's obviously calculating, which is why he put that photo up.

[1638] He didn't put that photo up as a fucking coincidence.

[1639] You think he's like, oh, I didn't even know that people were thinking that I stole that bit.

[1640] Please, everybody fucking knows.

[1641] Everybody knows.

[1642] He knows that everybody knows.

[1643] And he made a calculated effort to put up.

[1644] That makes me more suspicious of him.

[1645] Yes.

[1646] More suspicious.

[1647] If Dave Chappelle put that picture up, I would be like, Dave's fucking.

[1648] I would be like, what is Dave doing here?

[1649] Is he laughing?

[1650] Is this an inside joke?

[1651] but him doing it makes me more suspicious.

[1652] It's hard out there for a pimp, Brian Redband.

[1653] You know.

[1654] When are you going to put together a special?

[1655] I need to.

[1656] I just need to do it.

[1657] Yeah.

[1658] I mean, I have the material.

[1659] I stopped half, like half hours worth of material recently.

[1660] What do you mean, stopped?

[1661] I just stopped doing it.

[1662] But do you have it written down?

[1663] I mean, yeah, I have it recorded and it's on video.

[1664] Dude, you should totally put something out.

[1665] Put something out.

[1666] Some guy just advertised the other day on Twitter, like, $1 ,500 for camera shoot, we'll make your comedy special or something like that.

[1667] $1 ,500?

[1668] Yeah, I'd be like, hey, I should just do that for fun.

[1669] Does he know what he's doing?

[1670] I don't know, probably.

[1671] It's so easy nowadays.

[1672] I mean, I may remember when I used to go on the road with you all the time, I'd bring three cameras, have a front back, two sides, and that was all the -day.

[1673] Those were shitty little old -school cameras, too, in comparison to what's available today.

[1674] Yeah, but we were on kind of on top of the game on all the cameras.

[1675] You would always upgrade them to, like, the best Sony cams.

[1676] but yeah I think my next one that I'm going to do which I'm going to probably do within the next six months I'm working out all the details right now I think I'm going to do it at the ice house I'm at the ice house October 30th too by the way me and Ian and maybe Diaz might stop by for the 10 o 'clock show but I think that's the future I think the future is just doing it old school at a club and you know having the production value be in the quality of the video itself so that it captures the room as accurately as possible but don't try to make it like this big swooping camera and all that bullshit I want people to feel like they're sitting down the crowd and I think the only way to do that is to put it in a small spot because I'll do big shows I'll do these big shows and they're fun man theaters are fun it's a different kind of experience but the real show we all know the really fun show that's going to translate into sitting at home and watching it is like doing it at a comedy club especially the ice house I love the ice house so much.

[1677] I had one of my favorite sets Friday, just new stuff and just positive people go there, positive staff, everything's awesome there.

[1678] Well, it's got 60 fucking years of comedy burned into the walls too, you know?

[1679] And also I think I learned something from doing that Comedy Central special special, the Rocky Mountain High.

[1680] I'm like, that's the way to do it.

[1681] That felt more to me like a regular set than anything else I've ever done.

[1682] You can see the audience, they're right there on top of me, you know, it was fun.

[1683] That's the way to do it.

[1684] And the ice is even better than that ice houses are home too you know that's like home base other than the comedy store that that place feels like home to me even i do the factory i've done the laugh factory who knows how many times over decades still always feels weird yeah yeah the improv's pretty cool but that's not you know it's not the same the ice house to me is like right up there with the store yeah absolutely yeah they have germany orders recall of 8 .5 million volkswagons did they recall yours?

[1685] I don't have that anymore.

[1686] I got rid of it.

[1687] You got rid of it?

[1688] Yeah, they fucked up.

[1689] They tried to lie.

[1690] I think I figured out what car I want to get, though.

[1691] Is that I -3, the BMW electric?

[1692] Oh, those are dope.

[1693] They look like an iPhone on wheels.

[1694] It looks cool.

[1695] Yeah, those are pretty dope.

[1696] I think I may wait to get a used one.

[1697] It's kind of expensive.

[1698] Are they?

[1699] Yeah.

[1700] I heard those things break down a lot, though.

[1701] Is that it right there?

[1702] No, this is the video that autopilot from Tesla.

[1703] Oh, Jesus.

[1704] Play this.

[1705] So this is something, we've got to leave on this because I've got to get out of here.

[1706] So this is some update.

[1707] Jamie, why don't you explain the update?

[1708] Because Tesla...

[1709] They did an over -the -air update, which is something that I didn't know that they could do, but they said they're going to do it multiple times.

[1710] And I think it's just in beta right now.

[1711] So Tesla has an autopilot and also an auto park.

[1712] The autopilot, I think it's just made for the freeway right now.

[1713] But they've been testing it, and there's some video showing it used in, like, in New York on 12th Avenue.

[1714] And this is, I think, this looks like it's back on, like, a movie lot.

[1715] and they're showing the uh that that crazy button first so it shoots up to 75 miles an hour and then it's going to go into autopilot mode and you see it like read street signs and it's reading the white lines on the road which should kind of move the car and then at the very end it it will stop it as it sees a car in front of it too but uh i see it i hope this uh this is a video from slash gear so this shouldn't bother us too much wow Oh.

[1716] Trustest four door sedan in the world.

[1717] I'm gonna start over too.

[1718] There.

[1719] So you're getting ready to launch right now.

[1720] Oh, Jesus.

[1721] How cool.

[1722] This is Tron.

[1723] Just look at that fucking screen.

[1724] This is on autopilot right now.

[1725] Yeah, that's fast.

[1726] Fastest four door sedan in the world, you say.

[1727] Ever.

[1728] This is not driving itself.

[1729] I'm looking at his hand.

[1730] It will now.

[1731] Oh.

[1732] Turn on the autopilot system.

[1733] Okay.

[1734] Engaging it now.

[1735] Cool, that screen is so cool.

[1736] Off the accelerator.

[1737] The car will observe the 30 -mile -an -hour sign and increase its speed as we go through this bend.

[1738] I'd be texting like a motherfucker right now.

[1739] Hell, yeah.

[1740] And as it observes this 25 -mile -an -hour speed, it's going to reduce.

[1741] Jesus Christ.

[1742] People are going to fuck around and put 90 on those things.

[1743] Just tape a 9 over the 2.

[1744] There's so many problems I can see just with, like, But I'm sure they've thought through a lot of things, but...

[1745] Wow.

[1746] That's so cool.

[1747] That's amazing.

[1748] This guy Elon Musk is freaking me out.

[1749] Because he makes me feel really stupid.

[1750] Really stupid and really unambitious and really insignificant.

[1751] When I see him with his beautifully tailored suits and he's talking about changing the world, I'm like, am I looking at Tony Stark for real?

[1752] This is like, when is he going to come out with an Iron Man suit?

[1753] Because he's going to.

[1754] You know that fuck's got one already.

[1755] he's probably got one already in his basement he's probably all Adderald up Steve Jobs too right he's more than Steve Jobs to me to me he's way more innovative because what Steve Jobs did was amazing but it was all in the world of computing which is arguably the reason why this guy's able to do this in the first place is because he's incredibly powerful computers and the access to them and changing the way people use the internet is probably what started this all off in the first place but what he's doing between this and the bullet trains like he's gonna create these magnetic trains that can go across the country and a fraction of the time it takes to fly.

[1756] What kind of plane do you think he flies in?

[1757] Something crazy, right?

[1758] Stealth bomber type shit.

[1759] Who knows, man. He's probably got some ridiculous jet.

[1760] G6.

[1761] Imagine he's got an electric plane.

[1762] Imagine he's been flying electric jets.

[1763] He's got to have something that no one knows about.

[1764] He's got to have special prototype stuff.

[1765] Crazy phones and computers that we haven't seen yet.

[1766] Yeah, with no chem trails.

[1767] It doesn't even make chem trails.

[1768] Oh, my God.

[1769] Camtrail.

[1770] Black helicopters.

[1771] All right, we got to get the first.

[1772] fuck out of here folks uh that's it brian redband thank you sir red band on twitter r e d b a n not there's no d okay how dare you and uh death squad dot tv for all comedy um dates and upcoming gigs got some what do you got going on uh me and tony are just announced that uh we're bringing kill tony to pittsburgh and ohio we're doing kill tony and then followed by a comedy show uh friday november 27th i'll be in pittsburgh and ohio november 29th oh shit and And Desquod