#1067 - Whitney Cummings

[0] I think what you said is dead on that you've got to go straight.

[1] He's got to go straight African -American because white people are just not, hey, and we're live.

[2] This is what I think.

[3] We need to recognize the return of Dr. Cosby and send a shout out to him and all the folks at the barbershop.

[4] No, I can't do that.

[5] I'm triggered.

[6] I'm triggered.

[7] You were saying before the show, like, what do you do if you're at a comedy club and Bill Cosby walks?

[8] Because apparently Bill Cosby's doing stand -up again.

[9] And like, what do you do?

[10] Why isn't he in jail?

[11] I'm not even trying.

[12] Like, I'm not trying to be funny.

[13] Why isn't this guy in jail?

[14] Well, because the first trial was, was it a mistrial?

[15] Yeah, yeah.

[16] Yeah, it was a mistrial.

[17] They couldn't agree, which is hilarious.

[18] Like, I mean, how many people have to say, that guy fucking drugged me and raped me?

[19] How many people, like, is there some sort of, can you imagine there's like 80 people that are telling the same story of you drugging them and raping them?

[20] And people like, So, look, and here's what I'll say, like...

[21] Get this sucker up to your...

[22] You know, I'm sorry.

[23] I just, I don't want anything black and fall into me right now.

[24] We're talking about Bill Cosby.

[25] This is too soon for this.

[26] I guess I just, you know, and it's interesting that this happened after this weekend was the Women's March, and I know, like, a lot of people want to roll their eyes, and I was getting a lot of shit on Instagram for, like, the Women's March.

[27] You guys have...

[28] This is exactly the kind of thing that I'm terrified of is that this guy is now not in jail, and he's just, like, back to doing stand -up.

[29] Yeah.

[30] Because I don't know if we got desensitized or if we just forgot about him or we just got sick of talking about it.

[31] Like how I just don't understand how people in that club.

[32] I think he's, first of all, he has an enormous ego and he's a psychopath.

[33] Correct.

[34] And I think that he is, he's just, he has enough fans and enough people in his community still love him where he can go places in small places and they accept him.

[35] And then he's, he's advertising it.

[36] And what is that?

[37] Is that the people that accept him with this?

[38] is it people who have their own skeletons in the closet and they see him coming back as like they get redemption in some way or maybe it makes them not be incorrigible people or is it like a herd mentality or is it just star fucking like how do you rationalize that in your head a little bit of star fucking a little bit of dumb people the fact that he's famous eclips is the fact that he's a psychopathic but then there's also do you remember how it was right after oj got innocent there was a guy and i want to say his name because i respect him he's a comment and he went on stage, he said, no, he's a black guy.

[39] He goes, my blackness will not allow me to think that OJ did it.

[40] And I was...

[41] Interesting.

[42] I was like, what did I, what?

[43] The fuck did I just hear?

[44] Like, God, it's insane.

[45] Like, okay, all black people are innocent?

[46] What is a black person comes in and kills your family?

[47] Will your blackness exonerate that person?

[48] Like, how are you going to handle it then?

[49] And I don't know what the...

[50] I mean, what were, do you know who was in that job?

[51] Was it all black people?

[52] I don't know anything about.

[53] I can't read it.

[54] Like, I'm just, I'm sick to my stomach.

[55] You're going to be okay?

[56] No. I don't know if it's a, I don't know if it's a black or white thing, but I think it's a culture.

[57] When rape it's on stage performing and there's not like a complete melee of disapproval, that's really scary to me. It is scary.

[58] It's scary.

[59] But I think that there's a certain amount of people that get overwhelmed by celebrity that he shows up.

[60] Like, I can't believe he's here.

[61] They don't want to say anything.

[62] But like, if Charles Manson goes up at a jazz club, it's like he's a celebrity, but he's also a. Charles Manson is probably less of a monster Here's why I'll throw this at you He never killed anybody Charles Manson actually told people to kill people And they did and it's terrible that they did it Like Tex Watson did all the crimes And what was her name?

[63] Squeaky Fromm She was the one to try to kill Gerald Ford They're the one who did the crimes He was just this crazy fuck who talked these people into these things He was kind of the puppet master, yeah But that's what scares me raped, who knows how many women, allegedly.

[64] It's also, yeah.

[65] Allegedly.

[66] It's also, it just, it scares me and shakes me to my core, you know, not that a psychopath does psychopathic things, but the people who permit it and who are permissive and are okay with it and don't resist.

[67] Like the fact that a bunch of people in that club are just like, okay, we're good, okay, we're all going to.

[68] Well, we don't really know what happened.

[69] We just know that he was there, and we know that he's going to do another show, and he announced that he was going to do some show at a jazz club.

[70] it's like today I think is it today or tomorrow and is this jazz club I mean I don't know who owns it I don't know enough about it probably today and I'm like frozen with disgust it's like that's the other thing it's like it was yesterday oh so it's already over yeah as promised he performed at a jazz club today but this article was yesterday wow as promised like oh he's a man of his word he might be a rapist but he does not lie and he was wearing that hello friend's sweater that he always wears what a fucking nightmare And he's got that Bobby Brown thing on.

[71] I don't know what that is.

[72] I'm triggered.

[73] I'm triggered.

[74] I'm upset.

[75] The microphone headpiece thing.

[76] And I mean, I don't know.

[77] It's just so tricky because it's like I was getting all these nasty comments on Instagram this weekend.

[78] Well, why are you getting nasty comments?

[79] For what?

[80] Well, I think with what's going on.

[81] Right.

[82] But why are they nasty?

[83] Because I was posting photos from the woman's march, which was the march was about a lot of things.

[84] And I think just in the last month or so there's been a little bit of eye roll of like, oh, this is still going on.

[85] You know, like there's a lot of, I think, guys and women also who are a little bit exhausted or I had one guy I talked to a couple weeks ago, a friend of mine who was like, I'm done with this.

[86] Like, what do you mean you're done with this?

[87] Like, we were done with sexual predators being getting in trouble and getting fire and getting cleansed from our society and possibly, you know, stopping from assaulting people in the future.

[88] and they were just like, I just feel like this has gotten ridiculous.

[89] You know, there's, I think a lot of people think it's like a hysteria or it's like women being dramatic or something like that.

[90] And then something like this happens.

[91] And I'm like, oh, are we not being dramatic enough?

[92] Because this is crazy that he's just going on stage and performing like, as if everything's just kind of fine again.

[93] Well, I think he's a bad example because I think he's nuts.

[94] And I don't think it makes any sense that he's out.

[95] I think he should be in jail.

[96] I think all these people are nuts.

[97] I think we're more nuts for just being like, okay, I guess he's doing comedy.

[98] I don't think we are.

[99] I think most people are like what in the fuck Our outrage right Yeah I sent it to Tom Sigora And that was his immediate reaction It was like what He gave me like a bunch of youth I guess I'm thinking about the people who are in that jazz club And the guy that owns that jazz club Fuck you guys Yeah we don't know I mean we don't know who these people are Here's the thing If I'm in a comedy club and Bill Cosby gets on stage I'm like I got to hear what the fuck this bitch has to say Like that's what I'm thinking I'm not being like awesome Bill Cosby's here So maybe I should give them The benefit of the doubt and assume that they think they're seeing some kind of circus show.

[100] Well, I don't think I would say anything.

[101] I don't think, I mean, I don't think it helps.

[102] Like, I don't think I would yell out, you're a fucking rapist!

[103] I don't think I would do that.

[104] But I definitely think I would sit there and watch and, like, study him like some weird fucking creature, which is what he is.

[105] He's an aberration in humanity.

[106] Like, first of all, he's an aberration a couple ways, right?

[107] Right.

[108] He's an outlier in terms of the popularity he reached.

[109] He reached this insane level of popular, and he did it in the 60s and the 70s when the world was a different place.

[110] And I really, we've talked about this a bunch times as this podcast.

[111] I think a lot of people drugged people back then.

[112] I think it was normal.

[113] I think that dropping a Mickey in someone's drinks.

[114] It was common, maybe not normal.

[115] Yeah, that's a better way to put it.

[116] I think a lot of people did it.

[117] I think a lot of people.

[118] People still do it.

[119] Yeah.

[120] Well, but I think a lot of famous people did it back then.

[121] Yeah.

[122] I think they were giving out pills.

[123] And I don't think, I think culturally, we've evolved way more than we are aware of.

[124] I think we think of ourselves as being very similar to people from the 1960s.

[125] I don't think we are.

[126] Interesting.

[127] I think we're way, I think if you go from like 1810 to 1870, I bet people are pretty goddamn similar.

[128] Interesting.

[129] Yes.

[130] Okay.

[131] Good point.

[132] Yeah.

[133] Technology is moving so fast and adapting to that and the fact that we have alarm systems.

[134] But 1960 to 2018, way different.

[135] Yeah.

[136] Fucking way different.

[137] What's acceptable, how people think of things, what we've, just how people, just how people, I think one of the things that's happening, one of the reason why guys are eye rolling about the women's march is, is that it's a new thing.

[138] And this is this is overwhelming amount of energy that's headed towards this thing.

[139] But what it represents is years, decades of frustration, women that had to work with guys that were grabbing their ass.

[140] and trying to fuck them.

[141] That's right.

[142] The pendulum swang hard.

[143] It's like it snapped fast.

[144] And there's also, we always talk about this and I'm obsessed with epigenetic imprinting.

[145] It's not just us.

[146] It's our moms and our grandmothers.

[147] This happened to.

[148] And we carry that pain and that suffering with us.

[149] I think there's a lot of guys that say, hey, I didn't do anything.

[150] I shouldn't have to feel this.

[151] But this is the thing.

[152] These guys saying like, I'm done with this.

[153] You're not even a part of this.

[154] Yeah.

[155] Like, how are you done with this?

[156] You don't have to go there.

[157] How is this inconveniencing you so?

[158] Like, I don't understand how.

[159] If you're stuck in traffic.

[160] Well, I get, yes.

[161] Women's March traffic.

[162] That's it.

[163] I mean, that's exactly right.

[164] So it's like a couple of people.

[165] I mean, you're in L .A. You're always sitting in women's March traffic.

[166] But I feel that way about the fucking marathon.

[167] Yeah.

[168] When they have a marathon, I feel that way.

[169] And the gay pride parade and the whatever.

[170] So it's like, I'm so sorry you're going to have to like sit in traffic for an extra 20 minutes.

[171] But like, you know, get your Amazon drone.

[172] Why are you driving on a Saturday anyway?

[173] I get it.

[174] I mean, it makes sense.

[175] If I just, I guess I don't.

[176] I just I don't understand.

[177] I'd fucking hate it.

[178] I guess I just don't understand why this system.

[179] such a hassle for men.

[180] I don't understand why it's such an, unless you were raping people, assaulting people, hurting people, nothing's being taken away from you.

[181] And I feel like a lot of men think something's being taken away from them.

[182] And I don't know what that is.

[183] You know, and I'm just a little bit confused.

[184] If it's, unfollow me. I don't know.

[185] Unfollow if it's blowing up your Twitter feed and your Instagram, I just, I can't wrap my head around why this is such an inconvenience for guys.

[186] And what's so threatening about it.

[187] I don't think it's, that many guys that are saying this.

[188] I think most men, I think, are recognizing like that if you look at the stories, like the Harvey Weinstein one is the worst and most egregious example, right?

[189] I mean, he's a guy that did it for decades.

[190] They even enabled him.

[191] Cosby's pretty bad too.

[192] Yeah.

[193] Well, Cosby's worse.

[194] Right.

[195] Because Cosby was like, Harvey Weinstein was an obvious predator.

[196] It's like, hey, don't go in the chicken coop with the wolf.

[197] And here's something interesting.

[198] I was also getting shit about this about a lot of people were like, well, if you knew about Harvey, why didn't you say something?

[199] And it's just, it's such a testament to how, um, who said, someone said that to you?

[200] Yeah, like, I just got some comments or like, well, you knew about Harvey.

[201] Why didn't you say something?

[202] You know, when you knew about it 10 years ago or whatever.

[203] But what did you know?

[204] But I, I had heard like, oh, he like sleeps with actresses and he like makes them, fuck them.

[205] But I wasn't really in that world.

[206] So I knew about it.

[207] But what was I going to call up to New York Times and be like, hey, I was on Comedy Central for 10 minutes.

[208] I have a idea, you know, like who was going to let you know.

[209] And it's also, it's like, the kind of thing where we didn't even know what we were allowed to say and we didn't even know that there was a possibility for change or that there was a possibility that anything would be done about it.

[210] Like that's how ingrained in our psyche it was and how we just didn't know there was anything.

[211] We just thought that's how it was.

[212] Well, first of all, you didn't know him.

[213] You didn't work under him.

[214] So he did come to the comedy store once.

[215] I think you were gone.

[216] And this isn't like my Harvey Weinstein story.

[217] Like it's not close to how awful most of the women's stories are.

[218] But it is, I think, more like kind of funny he came to the comedy store and I went on stage in the main room and then I left and then Tommy called me and he was like oh Harvey Weinstein came here to see you he's here you need to come back and talk to him and I was like I was like already at the improv or already like whatever and I was like I don't want to go but and then the only reason I did not go back at first I was like fuck him for just like summoning me to come back I'm making $22 at the comedy store like I don't you know and it already took me 40 minutes to get out of the comedy store parking lot i can't go back in there and uh i remember literally just being like the lighting in there is bad i don't want him to see me the lighting is bad like the lighting on stage is great like he saw me at my best and i really don't want to go back and like talk to him i don't like know how to do small talk with the producers i'm not you know me i'm like a neurotic mess like i'm not good at like charming and whatever um but yeah such a crazy way to think of things insane the lighting in there was perfect yeah it's going to be everything that's a disaster i got to go like he's saw me at my best.

[219] Like, let me just get the fuck out of here.

[220] But, like, I didn't know how bad it was, but I, you know, it's like the kind of thing that it's like, we didn't know what we didn't know.

[221] Don't you?

[222] You feel a little guilty, though.

[223] Like, what you're saying, what I'm getting is that you've, people saying that to you feel like, oh, I didn't do it.

[224] I didn't, I'm not.

[225] Totally.

[226] I think that there's a lot of women that kind of done nothing wrong, but we're consumed with guilt and shame.

[227] Like, should I. Yeah.

[228] I'm so glad to hear you say that because I'm just not hearing a lot of that.

[229] I'm not hearing a lot of empathy and maybe I'm just like zoning in on negative comments.

[230] I've never had a female employee and I've never worked in an office.

[231] But even though you hear all this sexual harassment shit and you go, did I do anything?

[232] Yeah.

[233] You got to check.

[234] It seems like everybody did something.

[235] But it's like, but we were the same way.

[236] It's like, I mean, I remember working on a talk show and everyone's like, oh, well, does that count?

[237] That's not as bad as rape.

[238] Like getting granular about it.

[239] Like I remember I worked on a talk show, late night talk show.

[240] And a guy came up to me in front of like a couple of the writers and he took his hands.

[241] hand and like put it between my butt cheeks and just went like swiped and he was like a credit card machine and like everybody started laughing.

[242] And of course I started laughing because I didn't froze and I was embarrassed.

[243] Was he your friend?

[244] No, he was like my coworker.

[245] Like, you know, and it was just kind of a dick comedy writer.

[246] And I was like, what do I do?

[247] What am I going to do?

[248] I mean, at the time I had no concept that it was offensive.

[249] I was emotionally so numb and unconscious in my 20s.

[250] Like I didn't even think to do anything about it.

[251] But looking back, I'm like, that was fucked up.

[252] But what was I'm going to call human resources and say that it's just, there's all these little tiny things that aren't enough to be a salt but are too much to be appropriate.

[253] And it's just like a gray area that I don't, you know, it's hard for us to to delineate what makes sense of what does.

[254] Well, it's funny how cautious you are now.

[255] I mean, we're good friends, but we're joking around.

[256] We had these hoverboards.

[257] Yeah.

[258] And we're rolling around these hoverboards.

[259] If I'd fallen, you would not have caught me because you didn't want to touch me. That's my fear.

[260] But what you had said was hilarious, you were wanted to say something about a porn, but you weren't sure if you could talk about it because you were worried that you bringing up a porn would somehow another be sexually harassing.

[261] And I had to say, like, hey, that doesn't work.

[262] You can't do that to Matt.

[263] Like, you say whatever the fuck you want.

[264] I remember.

[265] I'll give you license right now publicly.

[266] Say whatever the fuck you want forever.

[267] You can't sexually harass me. Women feel it too.

[268] Like, you know, I don't want to.

[269] Well, you don't feel like a hypocrite.

[270] Stuttering.

[271] I'm panicking.

[272] Exactly.

[273] I don't want to be a hypocrite.

[274] And, you know, I've been coming back to the comedy store a lot and I hadn't been there in the last like six months.

[275] I've been working on something.

[276] And I noticed when I used to go to the comedy store, I used to feel like praying or any comedy club.

[277] It was like, you know, people would hug you too long.

[278] And, you know, you were just waiting to kind of like have something inappropriate happen.

[279] I went in the other night.

[280] Not one man hugged me. Everyone was like, hello, milady.

[281] People were like bowing at me. No one would come near me. Like I was a fucking left.

[282] Donnell Rawlings came up to me and gave me a hug in halfway through.

[283] He was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

[284] Am I allowed to do that?

[285] And I was just like, oh, whoa, like this is fucking crazy.

[286] The tables have turned because it used to be women were terrified of men.

[287] And now men are kind of terrified of women.

[288] Definitely guys are afraid of being called out.

[289] There's a lot of that.

[290] And a lot of guys going over there.

[291] Are you afraid if you don't have skeletons in your closet, though?

[292] If you're afraid if you don't?

[293] If you don't.

[294] Are you afraid because you know you have some shit?

[295] Well, here's a thing.

[296] You don't have to have skeletons in your closet.

[297] You can just have a bad relationship Where someone's mad at you Like this Aziz Ansari thing is very bizarre Like this seems like he went on a bad date And they took turns Eating each other out and blowing each other And then she didn't like it And she said that there was like I don't know what the fuck happened Because I wasn't there But there's a lot of people That are picking sides on this And I'm not accusing or supporting either side Because I don't think there's enough information yet And it all seems very like He had one experience She had one experience And if they're both telling the truth, you know, who fucking knows.

[298] But here's what I'll say just about my experience in my 20s as a woman is I was not fully formed yet at 22 years old.

[299] I didn't know.

[300] No one is.

[301] I had literally no sex I wanted to have in my 20s.

[302] I didn't want to have it.

[303] Well, we understand that now that the frontal lobe is not really fully formed in human beings until you're 25.

[304] Correct.

[305] So, hey, guys, in your 30s and 40s, stop dating 20 -year -olds.

[306] Just in general, it's just a bad idea, you know.

[307] And I think that a really big part of the conversation that, for me, a blind spot is sexual abuse victims.

[308] So the statistics are a little foggy, but like one out of six women are sexually assaulted as children.

[309] And those are only the people that come forward.

[310] Is that real?

[311] Yes.

[312] One out of six?

[313] One out of six is the statistic for people that come forward.

[314] That's not even including the people that don't come forward, which is a lot.

[315] Which, and not to get too serious.

[316] Did you see that fucking Olympic?

[317] I'm sorry to interrupt you.

[318] Did you see that Olympic thing?

[319] It makes me crazy.

[320] That Olympic thing is insane.

[321] The Olympic gymnastics coach or doctor rather that was molesting all those girls?

[322] It makes me a homicide.

[323] And when they're doing the testimony, the girls are, he's saying that this is too uncomfortable for him to listen to these girls?

[324] I saw that guy on the street.

[325] I think I'd kill him with my hands.

[326] I'd have to.

[327] I would go back to crazy.

[328] So I don't talk about this publicly because I'm too embarrassed.

[329] That's the other thing about this.

[330] I think that guys, some guys, have this idea that.

[331] us being sexually harassed is like fun for us and we like want to come forward and there's some glory in it it's embarrassing and it's awful and I don't talk about my sexual assault um publicly because I just like freeze up and I can't but you're very self -aware there are people that take some sort of glory in being victimized maybe I can't I can't speak to that I mean but I mean by that is to the point where they will exaggerate any sort of interaction with someone so there's people that, but men and women.

[332] So here's what I'll say.

[333] That could be true.

[334] I don't know enough about the science of that.

[335] And I'm not a psychiatrist, but my experience was the opposite.

[336] I minimized mine.

[337] Most people do.

[338] I didn't come to terms of the fact that I was sexually sold until I was 32.

[339] I'm 35.

[340] Like, I just kind of figured this shit out.

[341] And there's a lot of stuff that is still blind spots that I don't want to deal with.

[342] And I was only able to write about it in my book because I just can't talk about it publicly.

[343] Like I freeze up.

[344] I get weird and scared.

[345] and one of the trauma responses of if you've been sexually assaulted as a child is that when a man moves towards you or you have any kind of sexual see I'm like getting all nervous when you have a sexual interaction you freeze up because when you were sexually assaulted as a child it didn't serve you to fight back and you had to kind of disassociate right that is that's why people get confused with it fight or flight it's not just fight or flight freeze is a big one I have a freeze response around sex clear about what I'm saying so nobody misconstrues this what I'm saying I'm not talking about real victimization.

[346] I'm talking about people that love to play the victim.

[347] Sure.

[348] There are a lot of people, I'm not talking about real, when I say that people take glory in victimization, I don't mean someone who's actually been sexually assaulted.

[349] I mean someone who may have had a weird interaction with the person when they said something to them.

[350] And by the way, I've done that.

[351] Like, you know, I get bumped at the comedy store and I'm like, can you fucking believe?

[352] I got bumped.

[353] It's like, I just am getting adrenaline and dopamine from like being self -righteous.

[354] or having been wronged or something.

[355] I know what you mean from that perspective, but I think when it's something real, my reaction is to completely happen.

[356] Freezing is a big one.

[357] Yeah, so it's like for me. That's also a big one with assault.

[358] If people get not just sexual things, but physical assault, one of the things that happens to people when they're confronted by someone in a dangerous situation is that panic and they freeze.

[359] They don't do anything.

[360] They literally can't move.

[361] So if at least 20 % of women have that, who knows what the fuck is going on in some of these interactions?

[362] And so for me, like in my 20s, when a guy came towards me, I would freak out.

[363] And people like, well, why didn't they say no?

[364] Why didn't they leave?

[365] Because I'm fucking frozen.

[366] And I don't know what to do.

[367] And anybody that says that has never been involved in any sort of real altercation when they're in danger.

[368] Anybody says, why didn't you just do?

[369] Well, you don't know why you didn't do things?

[370] Yeah.

[371] Like, there's times in my life when I look back and I'm like, why didn't I fucking say something?

[372] Yeah.

[373] Or why didn't I tell that guy to fuck off?

[374] Or you don't know what to do sometimes.

[375] And that's a lot of, I mean, that was me in my whole 20s.

[376] Why didn't I tell him no?

[377] Why didn't I leave?

[378] Like, you know, so a lot of it I didn't even understand because I was too young to.

[379] And I also, I didn't.

[380] It took me 15 years of a 12 -step program and therapy and EMDR to even be able to say.

[381] What's EMDR?

[382] EMDR.

[383] I movement reprogramming and desensitization.

[384] How the fuck would you expect anyone to know what that means where you could just yell?

[385] Just say that.

[386] Here's what I was it.

[387] Your fans are so fucking smart and like they're such neurology nerds.

[388] Yeah, but that's off the deep end.

[389] EMDR.

[390] I've never heard that shit in all my life.

[391] It's a post -traumatic stress disorder, a therapy.

[392] It was started for Vietnam vets, and it helps you to sort of deactivate traumatic experiences.

[393] Have you ever done ecstasy?

[394] No. MDMA therapy is supposed to be amazing for people that have gone through trauma.

[395] Been told about this.

[396] I'm going to go to Coachella next year and try that.

[397] I don't know if that's the place.

[398] But it's supposed to be amazing for people that have gone through real traumatic experiences that are just so ingrained in their mind.

[399] Like the memories of those experiences are ingrained with trauma.

[400] trauma and horrible feelings.

[401] And somehow another MDMA therapy allows people to separate from that and lose the trigger and like lose, lose this reoccurring.

[402] That sounds like a way more fun way to do it because EMDR is like you sort of have to relive the memory and then other shit gets unearthed and things start clicking into focus.

[403] Well, the reason why they call it ecstasy is because that's literally what you feel.

[404] You feel so much love.

[405] And what hit, I only did it once.

[406] It just floods your brain with dopamine.

[407] Yes.

[408] And I only did it once.

[409] but the thing that stunned me was how comparatively insecure I am in regular life.

[410] Comparatively insecure.

[411] Can you say that?

[412] Comparatively insecure compared to when you're on ecstasy.

[413] Oh, got it.

[414] You have no inhibitions.

[415] None.

[416] Zero.

[417] You're so friendly and so warm and so affectionate.

[418] I try to be.

[419] Yeah.

[420] Yeah.

[421] But when you're on ecstasy, you really realize, like, all the hitches in your personnel, all the things that are holding you back.

[422] It made me, I only did it once, but it made me completely aware of, of insecurity that I didn't even know existed.

[423] That's fascinating.

[424] Let's do that.

[425] Yeah, you do it.

[426] You trip out.

[427] It's very interesting.

[428] I'm super into it.

[429] I had another friend recommend that and I'd be down because it's also like, you know, and something else I'll say not to speak for all women, like I'm not the face of all women.

[430] But like with this administration, if you're a sexual trauma survivor, seeing this fucking guy on the news every day can be really triggering.

[431] Do you see his post about the women's march?

[432] His Twitter post?

[433] Joe, I literally can't read the news anymore because I'm, I'm too activated and I'm just, I'm, I'm going crazy.

[434] I'm way too activated.

[435] Like, seeing a sexual predator or someone I deem to be a sexual predator with all the women that have come forward in the news every day is activating my trauma response of.

[436] I think he's a predator.

[437] I don't think it's just sexual.

[438] In general, he's a predator.

[439] Business.

[440] I think he's a predator in politics.

[441] I think he's, I mean, if you look at the way he campaigned, you know, like about the Hillary Clinton, lock her up, lock her up.

[442] He's predatory.

[443] Yes, correct.

[444] He's a bully.

[445] Yeah.

[446] Well, he's a fucking winner.

[447] I hate to say it that way.

[448] Can I tell you, and I was, do you remember, I think it was, I don't know, was the primaries or it was like when Ben Carson was still in the mix and they were all lined up.

[449] And I remember seeing, and this was when we all thought it was like a joke.

[450] And he called all of them out.

[451] He was like, you've asked me for money and you've asked me for money and you've asked me for money.

[452] And I was like, that's fucking hot.

[453] Like this, the reptilian brain was like, oh, shit.

[454] Like that guy's a fucking winner.

[455] And he's not scared of anything.

[456] And with the sound off, I'm like, that's the alpha.

[457] If shit hits the fan, I'm following that guy.

[458] He's old.

[459] He's lived a long life.

[460] He's on speed.

[461] He's a malignant narcissism.

[462] And there's all these reports that he's on diet pills.

[463] Do you believe that's syphilistary?

[464] I don't know that.

[465] That when you have, can you look this up, me?

[466] As if you haven't already today?

[467] Do you know the diet pill thing, though?

[468] No. Is that like caffeine or is it like?

[469] Yes.

[470] Well, he's on some sort of amphetamines, apparently, according to several sources.

[471] I bet.

[472] One of them that tracked his prescription from Dwayne Reed Pharmacy in New York from a few years back that he was on this one type of amphetamine for like eight years.

[473] Do you have to take drug tests if you're the president?

[474] I don't.

[475] No. No. This is amazing.

[476] Wow.

[477] You have to take a drug test you work for UPS.

[478] You don't have to take a drug test if you have the fucking nuclear football.

[479] How is that not?

[480] Yeah.

[481] Well, I don't know.

[482] Meanwhile, Jeff Sessions is fucking trying to take pot away from everybody and Donald Trump.

[483] popping pills.

[484] I don't know if he's really popping pills.

[485] I just should say this.

[486] But what I've read is that what he's taking, what they believe he's taking is, do you remember Fenn Fenn?

[487] No. Fenn Fenn was some shit that went on in the 90s.

[488] It was a diet pill that they had to stop taking because it was super effective for people.

[489] But it was essentially speed.

[490] They lost their appetite and they started and everybody lost weight.

[491] Dexatrim?

[492] Do you remember that diet pill?

[493] I took that like when I was in high school and had an eating disorder.

[494] That's similar.

[495] All these things are similar because they're amphetamine.

[496] They're speed.

[497] They're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all, they're all.

[498] And the other, the syphilus, but it gives you delusions of glory of grandeur.

[499] That's a thing.

[500] Like literally one of the symptoms.

[501] First of all, think about the amount of energy this guy had, running for president, giving these long speeches, never seem tired.

[502] Yeah.

[503] Rumored.

[504] Donald, doctor prescribed Donald Trump, cheap speed.

[505] Look at this fucking picture.

[506] That picture's amazing.

[507] Who made that picture?

[508] I'm triggered.

[509] I'm triggered.

[510] Who's Jim, Jim Cook.

[511] Jim Cook, you're a fucking wizard.

[512] Whoever you are.

[513] His neck looks like a fucking elephant ear.

[514] My applause.

[515] That made me laugh hard.

[516] The orange is perfect.

[517] It's like such an exact, but just exaggerate just enough.

[518] The eyes.

[519] I'm glad you're enjoying this.

[520] He looks like you're a rock salt lamp.

[521] You've got to be able to laugh while this is going on.

[522] You can't.

[523] You can't freak out.

[524] Okay.

[525] Okay.

[526] Rumors of Trump's predilection, I love that word, predilection for stimulants, first started really popping up in 1992 and Spy Magazine Road.

[527] He ever wonder why Donald Trump has acted so erratically at tons, full of energy, of manic energy, paranoia, and, wow, what is that word?

[528] Garululus?

[529] Where is it?

[530] Garolus.

[531] You ever use that word?

[532] Garalus is like, I thought, like, cheerful, like garrulous.

[533] Well, you're speeded up.

[534] Well, he was a patient of Dr. Joseph Greenberg's from 1982 to 1985.

[535] At the time, Dr. Greenberg was notorious for allegedly.

[536] allegedly dawling out prescription stimulants to anyone who would pay, blah, blah, blah, blah, diet drugs, which Trump took a pill form.

[537] How can you be on diet drugs and also be fat?

[538] Because he's eating a lot of terrible things.

[539] Okay, this is the stuff.

[540] Okay, fenfet.

[541] It's called fentermine, first gain notoriety in the U .S. under the name fenfenn, a miracle combination of fentermine and fenfluramine, another established anti -obesity drug.

[542] The two of them together.

[543] The only problem was when the patients taking the drug began reporting damage to their hearts and lungs.

[544] Apparently the combination destroyed the patient's bodies.

[545] So he's not taking both of them.

[546] He's taking one.

[547] Phentermine on its own, however, is still prescribed.

[548] Trouble with thinking, speaking, or walking, decreased ability to exercise, false or unusual sense of well -being, insomnia, nervousness.

[549] This is my suicide note.

[550] Increase in sexual ability, desire, drive, and performance.

[551] That's not true.

[552] Confusion, sure.

[553] I mean, so this is, this is doctor prescribed.

[554] Yes, this is what I think.

[555] Why wouldn't he just take Adderall?

[556] Well, that's a good one.

[557] But it's the same thing.

[558] We both, Adderall is essentially, essentially, like, incredibly similar.

[559] There it is, a medical theory.

[560] Many mental health professionals believe the president is ill, but what if the cause is an untreated STD?

[561] So apparently syphilis untreated?

[562] Creates like reddening of the face manic behavior I can't read this far But his face is pale It's orange skin color Oh is that self -tanner?

[563] Yeah if you look at his eyes Ciphalus That's why his eyes are white All around his eyes like a raccoon They're white Okay it's characterized by the development Of an ulcer usually genital A few weeks and a few months After sexual contact with the infected person If the ulcer is not noticed Not Duda Secondary stage of the disease is seen and some patients weeks or months later these patients may develop a variety thank you.

[564] Look at you're leaning towards it like you're so obsessed.

[565] Because I can't see Rashby, I want to get to the it's right behind you too.

[566] Oh, I can't swivel.

[567] I hurt my back.

[568] I told you that.

[569] I hurt my back on your fucking segue.

[570] Just trying to impress you.

[571] I'm suing you.

[572] You didn't even fall.

[573] We have video cameras everywhere in this place.

[574] And you know how to use a bow and arrow.

[575] I'm not suing you.

[576] Neuropsychiatric disorder Neurosyphalus Symptoms of neurosophilus are protein That means like changing Varying widely from one individual to another Irritability, loss of ability to concentrate Delusional thinking and Grandiosity Memory, insight, and judgment can become impaired Maybe he's got everything and they're dukeing it out inside of the system He got syphilis in the fucking 80s from Stormy Brown Whoever And now he's fucking got delusional thinking and grandiosity Okay, Stormy Brown Patchy hair loss Pissed off.

[577] And then it also makes your hair like fluffy and just exactly like his.

[578] He's fucking 90 years old.

[579] You're going to lose your hair.

[580] There's like a history of his hair.

[581] Look at all those girls.

[582] I bang her.

[583] I bang her.

[584] That's amazing.

[585] That's kind of amazing.

[586] Anyway, so, I mean, you can see why we're all a little triggered.

[587] Yeah, but I don't think, I think people are reaching for straws.

[588] I mean, he just got, that was interesting, the doctor that examined him, examined him and said that he probably, if he had a good diet, he'd lived to be like 200 years old.

[589] He's got just great genes.

[590] That doctor that examined him, I was like, this is, this doctor's.

[591] Who is this doctor?

[592] It's weird.

[593] The guy that killed Michael Jackson is his doctor?

[594] Who is this guy?

[595] But here's the thing.

[596] After he did that, then Sanjay Gupta examined the actual results.

[597] And Sanjay Gupta said, well, no, there's actually an issue here.

[598] And the issue is something to do with arteries and something to do with the potential for future stroke or heart attack, and he was going on, he was basing it on actual test results, and obviously, I don't know jack's shit about medicine, but see if you can find out what he said.

[599] He's a common form of heart disease.

[600] Yeah, see, scroll up and see if you could find what it said there.

[601] Yeah, here it is.

[602] This is what it is.

[603] Dr. Ronnie Jackson disclosed Trump's basic lab measurements, physical exam, and the conclusion of a cognitive exam known as the Montreal cognitive assessment.

[604] Additionally, the president had an echocardiogram of his heart.

[605] as well as a stress test, both described as normal.

[606] Although it's not a part of the official medical records that were released yesterday, after further questioning, Jackson also revealed that Trump underwent coronary calcium CT scan.

[607] Now, this is it.

[608] His score was 133 and anything over 100 indicates plaque is present and that the patient has heart disease.

[609] According to Trump's official records in 2009, his coronary calcium score was 34.

[610] Does the president have an obligation to be in shape?

[611] I mean, wasn't Robert Taft, like, notoriously obese?

[612] Like, do you have to be in shape to be the president?

[613] I don't know the answer.

[614] That's a good question.

[615] Like, do you, are there certain boxes you have to check?

[616] But what I'm getting out of this is it's Sanjay Gupta, who is an unconnected third party, who's unbiased, is going basically just off of these coronary calcium CT scans.

[617] And what he's showing is the difference between how it was in 2009, which was 35.

[618] 2013, which is 98, and then 2018, which is 133.

[619] So you're saying it's increased, basically doubled every...

[620] It's bad.

[621] A couple years.

[622] It's bad.

[623] Everything over 100 indicates heart disease.

[624] I'm not going to say anything else bad.

[625] I'm worried I'll get death threats.

[626] Will you worry that you want him to get this?

[627] No, I just, you know...

[628] Just kind of say it.

[629] No one's listening.

[630] I yelled millions of fucking people.

[631] You know, but I think that's the other thing.

[632] I think we're all sort of just especially angry.

[633] Like when you were talking about the pendulum swinging so hard of women.

[634] It's like having to see this constantly every day in the news.

[635] This guy is it's hard.

[636] It's really hard and depressing.

[637] Trying to be objective.

[638] This is what I find fascinating about it is that obviously this is an aberration.

[639] Like no one's ever seen something like this before.

[640] No one's ever seen a president.

[641] There's a video that was on go to the typical liberal Instagram page.

[642] There's a video of him saying no one is better at blank than.

[643] him and it's like a video that was actually put together by people to mock him but the trump supporters actually love it yeah play this because 24 things nobody is better at than trump nobody can do it like me nobody nobody can do it like me nobody's stronger than me nobody has better toys than i do is nobody bigger or better at the military than i am nobody loves the bible more than i do nobody builds walls better than me nobody's better to people with disabilities than me Nobody's fighting for the veterans like I'm fighting for the veterans.

[644] There's nobody that's done so much for equality as I have.

[645] There's nobody more pro -Israel than I am.

[646] There's nobody more conservative than me. There's nobody that respects women more than I do.

[647] Nobody would be tougher on ISIS than Donald Trump.

[648] Nobody's ever had crowds like Trump is head.

[649] There's nobody that understands.

[650] But here's the thing.

[651] Before the Internet, you could say shit like this and get away with it, because no one could check you on it.

[652] He belongs in the 1800s when you could just lie to crowds of people and they couldn't corroborate it.

[653] I know what it means.

[654] Nobody knows more about trade than me. Nobody knows the game better than I do.

[655] In the history of this country has ever known so much about infrastructure as Donald Trump.

[656] Nobody can do it like me. I feel like people who actually do no shit do the opposite.

[657] They're like, look, I'm not a scientist.

[658] I don't know that much about this or more humble about it.

[659] I wish he wasn't president because I love him.

[660] I love what a character he is.

[661] He's entertaining.

[662] He's fascinating.

[663] But that's fascinating.

[664] But he has power as the problem.

[665] Yeah, that's the problem.

[666] And he's doing horrible things with it.

[667] As a character and as the host of a reality show, he's a gem.

[668] I mean, it's such a freak.

[669] Oh, to be on a reality show, great.

[670] Sign me up.

[671] But to be running the most powerful country in the world, well, I don't know, maybe China is now, but is really, really scary.

[672] Well, it's just fascinating the supporters, too.

[673] Like, I love reading his supporters because I'm always trying to figure out which ones are Russians.

[674] Oh, interesting.

[675] These are Russian bots.

[676] A lot of them are women.

[677] There's a few that are women.

[678] But what are those girls?

[679] A lot of women voted for him.

[680] What's the deal with those girls?

[681] You know, here's what I'll say.

[682] And I have some family who voted for him who are in, you know.

[683] Exile.

[684] But no, they're just in working class.

[685] And their whole thing is like, we don't, we don't care.

[686] All we care about is the bottom line in our jobs.

[687] It's actually kind of a luxury.

[688] And that's, I think, a fair flaw with what's happening with this, you know, women's, you know, movement conversation is right now the people getting the most visibility are fucking millionaires.

[689] You know, that's sort of for the most part who's speaking up right now.

[690] And like, you know, that's what times up is for to enfranchise people who don't have the kind of resources to just be like, you know what, you're mistreating me. I'm going to quit my job.

[691] You know, a lot of people can't quit their job.

[692] And they have to tolerate sexual harassment and whatever.

[693] And they don't really have a choice in the matter.

[694] Or they have to stay in bad relationships because they can't afford to get their own place or whatever.

[695] But all they heard was jobs.

[696] Their thing is like, we don't care anything about his character.

[697] We think all politicians are assholes.

[698] We just want jobs.

[699] And that's what he said he was going to promise.

[700] And he lied.

[701] You know, so they were just like sort of played.

[702] Well, isn't there more jobs now than ever before?

[703] And isn't the unemployment as low as it's ever been?

[704] But he was, but he was promised, I mean, health insurance.

[705] I think they also, they were going to get this like magical health insurance reform, which they didn't get.

[706] But there was also, he was promising like coal mine jobs.

[707] Which is so crazy.

[708] A lot of my family members, like, we're going to work in coal mines.

[709] I'm like, really that's 50 ,000 jobs, right?

[710] And it's starting to become obsolete.

[711] So he promised kind of jobs that I think the pipeline and shit like that.

[712] So I think that, you know, and they just watch Fox News and they believe everything that's, when they think like liberal news is a lie, you know?

[713] So I think it's like the kind of jobs that they promised.

[714] And I know, and I think that you're exactly right.

[715] It's like their whole thing is unemployment going up is what helps women because more women can get jobs.

[716] But isn't in a case where when you see like unemployment and how more people are, doing better than before and the economy is doing better than it's ever been before isn't this like a natural cycle wasn't it already charting in that direction when Obama was leaving office?

[717] I was going to say I think it's the president that's like four years prior that usually is what caused it because you can't just like become president and all of a sudden there's more jobs that's something that has to start a little bit earlier I'm not saying Obama I don't know enough about it When Obama got into office everybody was blaming him like right away even though that's probably what the president before him caused Sure here it goes So I'm not The economy gained a net 11 .5 million jobs.

[718] The unemployment rate dropped below the historical norm.

[719] That's like 4%.

[720] Average weekly earnings for all workers were up 4 .1 % after inflation.

[721] The gain was 3 .7%.

[722] Or just production and non -supervisory employees after tax corporate profits also set records as the stock profits.

[723] S &P 500 index rose 166%.

[724] There was some story about how the tax break that we got here, because of Trump that people got, that California was going to somehow and another, in part, some sort of a 10 % surcharge to counterbalance that.

[725] But, and I was like, what?

[726] But then they said it was all going to, like, social programs.

[727] So I'm like, well, that's a good thing.

[728] I'm all for paying more taxes if those taxes can go to poor communities.

[729] That's what I feel like.

[730] I feel like if there's one thing that we need to concentrate in this country is people that are disenfranchised and live in poor communities that don't feel like there's any hope.

[731] And then setting up community centers, setting up some education programs, setting up safe places where kids can go and they don't have to worry about gang violence and shit and just making it safer for people and giving them more opportunities to possibly get out of that fucking horrible cycle of unemployment and fucking welfare and crime that so many people are stuck in.

[732] And I completely agree.

[733] And when I think about that, I'm like, oh, you know, and this is just my point of view because of what I come from and maybe it's being a woman.

[734] a female brain whatever but like when I hear that I'm like the thing that perpetuates that cycle is having kids too soon and having a lack of access to birth control and education and this administration is a huge threat to that and enemy to that so I'm like what brain but why is that you faster than a kid well is that just a straight up Republican that pull this thing I'm so sorry I always have this problem don't have it like I always do this why what does this say about me put it make it like a fist it does do any of your other guests have this problem okay okay okay I used to do it before I did a podcast.

[735] I do radio shows.

[736] It always yell at me because I wasn't in the mic.

[737] But why is it a Republican thing?

[738] It's always a Republican thing to try to deny women birth control, to try to restrict abortion.

[739] This is always a Republican thing.

[740] Because I think it probably boils down to religion.

[741] Yes.

[742] And I don't, I still can't understand why religion is the reason that people think women have to be cows and fucking have.

[743] But he was never religious.

[744] This is what's so crazy.

[745] Yeah.

[746] Well, he used to, I mean, I think a lot of it's kind of like keeks conveniently now super pro life or something.

[747] Nobody likes the Bible more than I. do.

[748] Nobody hates abortion more than me. I wish I could do an impression.

[749] I can't do an impression.

[750] I was just thinking.

[751] You don't.

[752] You don't.

[753] It's chilling.

[754] I don't want to hear it.

[755] Last thing we need is more fucking Trump impressions at the comedy store.

[756] I'm good.

[757] Um, but, uh, Steve Byrne has a really good.

[758] Really?

[759] It's really.

[760] It's really.

[761] It's really good.

[762] I would not have seen that coming.

[763] I know.

[764] I didn't see it coming either.

[765] He did it the other night.

[766] I went, whoa.

[767] He nails it.

[768] That's kind of amazing.

[769] He nails it.

[770] Yeah.

[771] It's process that later.

[772] He does the finger thing.

[773] That's great.

[774] I mean, Alex Balman's is like, fucking just next level.

[775] But yeah, I think it's religiously sort of based and hubris based.

[776] I mean, just the idea that women shouldn't have control over their own bodies.

[777] It's just like, why do you want me to have kids that I'm not ready for?

[778] It defeats our economic system.

[779] It means everyone else has to pay more taxes.

[780] It puts more people on welfare, all the things that Republicans hate.

[781] Do you think that it's a vulnerability thing?

[782] They like women to be vulnerable?

[783] Maybe.

[784] Maybe.

[785] And they want control over people?

[786] Control over it.

[787] Yeah, yeah, complete control over people they've never met.

[788] Why do you want to control the uterus of a woman that lives 10 states down from you?

[789] How does that benefit you?

[790] I think there's a sick thing that people have where they want to control people in a lot of ways.

[791] I think that's a lot of when you see people that are trying to restrict.

[792] Yeah, PC.

[793] Don't say this.

[794] Say this word.

[795] Don't say this word.

[796] I think there's a weird instinct that we need to address when you, outside of ideology, outside of, you know, political lines that you cross, there's a weird instinct that people have to try to.

[797] to control people.

[798] It's just a fear -based thing or it's a habit.

[799] I just think it's a thing that people do.

[800] They don't have much control of themselves and they want to control their people.

[801] And I think this is where bullying comes from.

[802] And I think this is where a lot of what's sexual harassment and just the entitlement, the way bosses behave when they're employed.

[803] Like this is one of the things about Harvey Weinstein that I found fascinating is that he would bark at his employees.

[804] They would run and they were terrified.

[805] And I used to date a girl.

[806] And she was, when I first came to L .A., wonderful woman, beautiful, perfect personality, terrified of her boss.

[807] She worked as an agent's assistant.

[808] She couldn't have been a nicer person.

[809] And this girl would wake up in the middle of the night, terrified that her agent that she was working for needed her to do something.

[810] She would freak out.

[811] She was, like, constantly worried.

[812] And this guy, I mean, she made terrible money.

[813] And it was constant stress.

[814] And she would work insane hours.

[815] I mean, they would make, she would make like $400 a week.

[816] And she was working fucking insane hours.

[817] Yeah, this is before they had the rules of, you know.

[818] I don't know what she really made.

[819] I'm just guessing.

[820] She was always broke.

[821] And then my questions for you are that Stockholm syndrome, super real thing.

[822] Yes.

[823] And then what was her relationship with her dad?

[824] Was she recreating her childhood circumstances?

[825] It wasn't good.

[826] It wasn't good.

[827] Yeah, the relationship with her dad was very bad.

[828] It's only till very, very recently that we were not completely dependent on men for our survival.

[829] and that you guys weren't killing us in the streets.

[830] Like, it's so recent in terms of human evolution.

[831] And, you know, I did this movie with Neil Brennan.

[832] And we wrote it together.

[833] It's called the female brain.

[834] And it's about all the shit.

[835] Because I'm obsessed with figuring out and you're so good at delineating what's nature and what's nurture.

[836] What's a choice and what's not?

[837] What's biologically, neurologically driven and what's socially constructed.

[838] That's my fascination in life.

[839] And like when all this stuff happens, I'm always trying to figure out this kind of behavioral stuff.

[840] And then it talks a lot about epigenetic imprinting.

[841] So it's like even if your girlfriend at the time had not gone through some sort of trauma with a man, her mom certainly did.

[842] And then her mom's mom certainly did.

[843] And she carries that with her.

[844] So all of a sudden you're in 2016 and a man's yelling at you.

[845] And it's like flash back to 1850 when like one of your ancestors was being fucking murdered by a guy.

[846] You know, like we just don't think about that kind of stuff.

[847] But what I meant to say is Neil had we used to have the storyline that was about sexual harassment.

[848] We ended up kind of changing it.

[849] It's the Cecily Strong and Blake Griffin storyline about her.

[850] Because women are generally wired for.

[851] consensus.

[852] We get dopamine from consensus, right?

[853] Because we are physically weaker.

[854] I know nobody wants to talk about it.

[855] When you mean by consensus, what do you mean?

[856] In terms of like, if you guys are arguing about something, I mean, we're on a show that kind of encourages, you know, healthy discourse.

[857] And I know you guys a little bit and I feel safe here.

[858] But in general, in a work environment, I'm going to try to get everyone to agree because 2 ,000 years ago, getting everyone to agree made my life safer.

[859] If I'm eight months pregnant, I need protection from the whole tribe.

[860] And I want everyone to agree.

[861] I'm going to pretend I agree with things that maybe I actually don't.

[862] That makes sense.

[863] We get dopamine from harmony because I'm less able to defend myself, especially with men.

[864] I need you to like me because I need your protection.

[865] We're not that different.

[866] I mean, 200 years ago, I needed your protection.

[867] Like, my brain has not caught up to the fact that, like, it's illegal for you to attack me and rape me now, you know?

[868] That doesn't mean anything, though.

[869] I think it means something to our reptilian brains.

[870] But the illegal part doesn't mean anything in terms of no one, no one's going to save you.

[871] Totally.

[872] Correct.

[873] That's You could kill me or you could whenever you wanted, but 200 years ago it was like, you know, what, there was no phones to even call to report.

[874] Right.

[875] It was just much more common.

[876] What I'm saying is that today that, like anyone's saying that that fear is alleviated because there's laws against it is crazy.

[877] Totally.

[878] Because those fears are always there.

[879] Completely.

[880] In my reptile brain, just in my conscious brain, I'm sort of like, okay, it's less likely that this is going to happen because we all have this illusion of being civilized, you know?

[881] That's all horseshit.

[882] I get nervous when I interview Francis and Gano after a fight.

[883] Like when I had to interview him Saturday night because he's 265 pounds and six foot four and he smashes people's heads in for a living and I stand next to him and I feel like a little tiny person, this is just no getting around that.

[884] And here's the thing.

[885] And that's why it's like that he likes me. I know he's not going to do anything to me. But exactly what you're saying to me right now is what I'm trying to explain to people that are like, I don't understand the fucking women's movement.

[886] Why are you guys freaking out in the office?

[887] You know, stop talking to those people.

[888] It's like, what are we going to rape you?

[889] It's like, yeah, maybe.

[890] I don't get in elevators with guys.

[891] I just, I wait for the next one.

[892] I'm scared.

[893] We have tribal thinking, and this is right now, there's tribal boundaries that are being established on the male and female side, and people are picking sides, and there's a bunch of men that are annoyed, that people are talking too much about women, and there's a bunch of women that are saying, now it's my time to be a fucking crazy bitch and go crazy and attack all these men and take that.

[894] Burn it all down.

[895] But there are some, but there are some.

[896] Okay, maybe I don't know that.

[897] What I'm saying is, see you saying that right there.

[898] We are not trying to do this.

[899] That's a crazy thing to say, because you're not.

[900] All women.

[901] Looping us all in together.

[902] I'm not all men.

[903] I guess I just don't know anybody like that.

[904] I don't who where on Instagram?

[905] On Instagram?

[906] Women?

[907] Yeah.

[908] I follow a lot of really insane people on Instagram.

[909] There's a lot of like there was a woman that was she's like an editor for Vogue or something like that that said here's an unpopular opinion.

[910] I am not at all concerned with men being falsely accused of sexual harassment or sexual assault.

[911] That's irresponsible.

[912] But they exist.

[913] Those people exist.

[914] There's there's the.

[915] There's the.

[916] burn it all down people that fuck them or burn it all down yeah but they're not going to succeed it doesn't matter it doesn't matter it's inherently tribal sure this is a tribal thing yeah and it's not there's no nuance to that there's no consideration of all the different kinds of men there's a lot of men that are considerate and friendly and nice and they don't and they're they're concentrating on themselves and they don't want anything bad to happen anybody else but there's men who like fuck these bitches fuck all women oh they're all horrors bitch and they listen to rap music like yeah i've been listen to a lot of like really bad rap music lately that is one of the rare places where you could still just be a straight up misogynist totally and then do you think and i'm always and i don't know the answer to this do you think because i think porn definitely affects our psyche and how we view dehumanize women just right especially young people watching it do you think that a rap song going destroy that shit murder that shit beat that pussy up do you think that that affects the way men view women on like a cellular level.

[917] It's impossible that it doesn't.

[918] It's impossible.

[919] When you have something that's incredibly popular and you're repeating the words to it over and over again, I don't know what percent of an effect it has on a 20 -year -old brain, whether it has a 5 % effect over your parenting and what your life experiences have been or all the various different variables that come into your psyche, like what makes you a human being.

[920] I don't know, but that's a factor.

[921] It's a factor.

[922] And what happens when you hear beat that pussy, like, is that's, why do you guys cheer for that?

[923] Like, aren't we also kind of on some level wired to protect?

[924] Why isn't it like, I'm not, I swear.

[925] Is that a tampon tattoo?

[926] Yes, it is.

[927] What is that?

[928] No, it's a safety pin.

[929] Oh, okay.

[930] I'm trying to figure out what the fuck that tattoo is on your wrist.

[931] And I was like, does she have a tampon tattooed our wrist?

[932] That would be hilarious.

[933] What kind of monster do you think?

[934] I have.

[935] What kind of monster we get a safety pin?

[936] Why do you have a safety pin?

[937] It's like a, it's like a personal thing.

[938] It's too, it's too much of a bummer.

[939] You don't want me to tell you.

[940] Most of my tattoos are white.

[941] I have white ones everywhere.

[942] You are fucking crazy.

[943] Here's what I will say is that burn it all down people.

[944] What's my tattoos are white?

[945] I want the pain but I don't want anybody to see it.

[946] You have fucking 5 ,000 tattoos.

[947] You're covered.

[948] Why am I crazy?

[949] Because you can't see mine.

[950] I'm crazy too.

[951] I don't think you're crazy.

[952] I'm probably pretty crazy.

[953] Really?

[954] Yeah.

[955] You hide it very well.

[956] Well, I manage it.

[957] Or you channel it.

[958] You manage it in healthy ways.

[959] You get it out.

[960] Oh, if I didn't manage it.

[961] If you didn't work out every day, would you just be murdering people in the streets?

[962] I would probably have been in jail a long time ago.

[963] You would be like breaking apes out of zoos and fighting them.

[964] I don't think that.

[965] But I think I would have done something really stupid a long time ago.

[966] Yeah.

[967] But I think that there's a lot of men that have terrible genetics and instincts and environments that they grow up in.

[968] And there's a lot of violence in your life.

[969] And you either find a way through that.

[970] For me, the way through it was martial arts.

[971] If I didn't find martial arts, who knows?

[972] And I think that is one of the best ways for men to not be pieces of shit.

[973] Because I think a lot of the way people behave is through insecurity.

[974] Totally.

[975] So find pride in other things so that you have and do ecstasy.

[976] That'll help too.

[977] But give you some security and give you an outlet for your aggression and give you some humility.

[978] Yeah.

[979] Like in martial arts you get humility.

[980] You get strangled all the time.

[981] You learn humility.

[982] Right, right.

[983] You get real humble real fast.

[984] You can't have an ego.

[985] You let it go.

[986] You do it to them.

[987] They do it to you.

[988] Everybody does.

[989] And you hug.

[990] And there's like real genuine love and affection between the guys that I do jiu -jitsu with.

[991] It's very, it's very intense.

[992] It's as real as it gets.

[993] And here's something, sorry, I just wanted to go back to that Vogue woman for a second or whoever that was.

[994] Because it's like, I think what I'm trying to do is understand like what a man acts in a way that's violent or whatever.

[995] I'm like, what's the root of that what's going on what happened in his childhood like what's going on biologically or genetically or like what has he been taught like he was failed somehow if a guy feels the need to like rape a woman someone failed him or he's a sociopath and just should be locked up or is mentally ill but like he saw it from his dad he learned it hurt people hurt people so it's like when a woman says like all men should i don't care if they're like i'm like what happened to her that made her think that that's an okay that's her paradigm she probably met a bunch of fucking assholes and that was something went wrong yeah it was probably guys that she grew up with guys that were in her life maybe it was her sexual trauma step or her stepdad there's a lot of variables and i guess i'm just trying to start a conversation it's like let's explore what happened back then and how do we sort of stop that shit from going on whether it's like sexual abuse physical abuse whether it's like the messages we get growing up of like and i don't know how you parent your um kids but the idea of like all i heard growing up was calm down really Relax, it's fine, be seen.

[996] Like the messages that we give kids.

[997] Calm down, relax.

[998] About what?

[999] Anything.

[1000] Anytime I cried or I was injured or whatever, it was calm down, you're overreacting.

[1001] That's what I heard as a kid growing up.

[1002] And that bothered you?

[1003] I think it did because it.

[1004] Were you overreacting?

[1005] It caused me, I mean, I was a kid.

[1006] Right.

[1007] I don't know.

[1008] When kids cry.

[1009] But don't you think that kids should be assured?

[1010] Like, it's okay.

[1011] It's just a small boo -boo.

[1012] You're going to be fine.

[1013] I think it depends.

[1014] I think normally what kids do when they're crying is they're just testing to see how available you are to them, right?

[1015] So when you go, calm down, everything's fine.

[1016] Sort of.

[1017] Let me take it from someone who has kids.

[1018] They do that, but then they also recognize that it's a way that they can get attention, so they will overreact on purpose about things.

[1019] And you have to start.

[1020] Yes, they will have fits if they don't go to the movie they like to see.

[1021] Sure.

[1022] Like if my two daughters want to go see a movie and one of them wins and the other one starts throwing a temper tantrum, you got to look.

[1023] We're going to go see a fun movie.

[1024] Like you can't get pissed off.

[1025] Next time, you'll get to choose.

[1026] But this is crazy.

[1027] You can't stomp your feet and cry.

[1028] But she's seven.

[1029] Yeah, totally.

[1030] You know, but this is like, I have a chance to explain to her that these feelings are natural.

[1031] Like, you're going to win some, you're going to lose some, but you can't hold on to that.

[1032] You've got to let it go and realize, oh, we're still going to go to see a fun movie.

[1033] Right.

[1034] It's just not going to be this one.

[1035] It's going to be that one.

[1036] Right.

[1037] And, you know, for whatever reason, we made a decision.

[1038] Sure.

[1039] You know, and we try to be as fair as possible.

[1040] But you can't have fucking temper tantrums over.

[1041] All the time.

[1042] Oh, we're going to the wrong restaurant.

[1043] Blah!

[1044] That, you know, kids do that.

[1045] Sure.

[1046] That's because they're little kids.

[1047] They're recognizing that there's some influence, that they have some power over you.

[1048] And then I'm going to see how much power I can get and how much attention I can get and how much I can play you.

[1049] So you just have to figure out the difference.

[1050] I think for me, I learn to invalidate my own reality and stuff my feeling.

[1051] I remember a specific moment where I was like, you can't rely on adults.

[1052] They won't help you.

[1053] Figure it out yourself or don't have those feelings or invalidate those own feelings.

[1054] And I think there's probably a bad parenting.

[1055] You know what your kid to go like, if I'm hurt, don't tell anyone.

[1056] Parenting is fucking confusing Because you try to figure out What bad parenting you received I was lucky in that My parents were very busy So I didn't get a lot of parenting Yeah me too same way So it wasn't it wasn't like I got bad parenting I didn't get bad parenting Yeah But I didn't get anybody who was mean to me Yeah I just got yeah I was alone a lot But then I found things to occupy my time So that literally became like those obsessions That I developed when I was I was young with various things, whether it was art or martial arts or whatever, those things became my vehicles for developing my human potential.

[1057] Yeah.

[1058] And that.

[1059] Do you think you got a lot of eye contact as a kid?

[1060] I never thought about that until just now.

[1061] Apparently, that's a big one.

[1062] Eye contact.

[1063] Eye contact and physical touch in the first couple of years.

[1064] We're affectionate.

[1065] My family's always been affectionate.

[1066] It's always been huggy.

[1067] Yeah.

[1068] You know, and I'm real huggy with my family, too.

[1069] I think, and I'm huggy with my friends, too.

[1070] I think that's super important.

[1071] And I think it's also very important to tell your friends.

[1072] Like, I tell everybody I love them.

[1073] Yeah, that's awesome.

[1074] I mean, I know I got really into John Bolby's theory of attachment because I couldn't make eye contact until like two years ago.

[1075] Like, I would always kind of look here.

[1076] Really?

[1077] Yeah, this is how I used to always look at people.

[1078] And then I just recently started making eye contact.

[1079] And it still makes me a little bit uncomfortable.

[1080] It's like a muscle.

[1081] But I had something called infant maternal disruption, which is basically you just didn't get enough eye contact.

[1082] So apparently the amount of eye contact.

[1083] How do you know this?

[1084] Because I'm, because I can't make it now.

[1085] but isn't that just an insecure like I used to get real insecure I was talked about this before or talking to a bank teller I'd freak out why I'd get nervous I was nervous only bank tellers are just that's an example I remember being in the bank getting ready to deposit a check and in line there's two people ahead of me that's because it was the old time to the comedy store you didn't know if it would go through that was before the way before then it was before I did comedy was it did it had anything to do with a man or women no no didn't matter it just I just was nervous talking to people.

[1086] That's so interesting.

[1087] I'm like that, too.

[1088] Like, the first couple of minutes you talk to me all the time, I get a little shake.

[1089] Like, I'm socially awkward in the beginning and then I sort of settle in, but I do get a little shaky when I first talk to people even now.

[1090] Well, I feel that with you.

[1091] I feel like I have to say, we're friends.

[1092] Wendy, I love you.

[1093] We're friends.

[1094] And you're like, right?

[1095] We're friends, right?

[1096] Yes, we're friends.

[1097] Like, right away was the thing with the porn and the hoverboard.

[1098] You're like, this is totally, I really shouldn't bring this up.

[1099] What are you talking about?

[1100] I get, say whatever the fuck you want to say.

[1101] I get, you know, and I also have this contingent called codependence.

[1102] I'm working on it.

[1103] But I'm fucking dealing with it.

[1104] It's expensive to handle.

[1105] It's very time consuming to rewire your brain around it.

[1106] But when I first meet someone, it's like a you, it's like a chameleon response where it's like when you grow up in a alcoholic home or if you have codependence, the first thing you do is you meet someone and you kind of try to figure out what they want.

[1107] And then you morph to become what makes them comfortable.

[1108] So I still have to fight that response sometimes especially with men especially with men and then with women men do that too though men do that for sure like are you in a football or you're in a like who is this guy and how am I going to make him like me that's kind of what codependence is well men do that with other men but they also do that with women they'll become like what the woman wants like women will I see it a lot of times my friends with the way they dress like the woman will come along yeah well also women will mold men like women will get men in a shape like you should just lose some of that's like in a relationship I just mean like when I first meet someone, my instinct is kind of like, how do I make, and especially with, it, it has taken me so long to not be funny when I'm not doing stand -up, because, like, my first instinct is make this person laugh, make them like you.

[1109] And I kind of have to, like, manually be like, just turn that shit off.

[1110] You're not five and you're not trying to get the approval of your dad.

[1111] Like, not your dad, not your dad.

[1112] Do you turn it off?

[1113] But what if you just see something funny?

[1114] You're still free enough to just be funny.

[1115] I can do that, but it's like my motive is not.

[1116] I'm trying to make this person like me. Don't be on all the time.

[1117] Totally.

[1118] You know those people who are on all the time.

[1119] time.

[1120] Brian Callan.

[1121] Just say his name.

[1122] Just say his name.

[1123] But Brian, I feel like genuinely Brian isn't trying to get anyone to pull this is because he's not getting it.

[1124] Well, he's just really funny and he loves being that.

[1125] Brian is at his best and I said this before.

[1126] There's an innocence to it.

[1127] He's at his best in a group of people.

[1128] Correct.

[1129] Not on stage.

[1130] He's at his best around 20 people.

[1131] If you got 20 people when they're going somewhere, Brian's like, guys, guys, just want to show you something like that.

[1132] I just call my cock.

[1133] Like, he'll just, he'll just be this, he's fucking, I've never met anybody that makes me laugh harder just in groups of people, other than Joey Diaz.

[1134] Kills me. But Joey Diaz is the opposite.

[1135] Joey Diaz is not trying to do that.

[1136] He's just naturally.

[1137] It's not a performance.

[1138] I just wonder if Brian Callan knows the difference anymore.

[1139] Like, is there a certain point where you don't even, you can't even tell when you're performing him when you're not?

[1140] It's like just, he's morphed in.

[1141] It doesn't matter.

[1142] He doesn't care.

[1143] Yeah.

[1144] He has a bizarre ability to not care if people are upset at him or, it's like, he's got this, weird almost peter pan like way of moving through life it's correct i am i am in therapy and a 12 -step program to get the inner monologue of brian callan if i could just have an iota of the self -esteem that he has do you do you meditate i do i lost uh my dad last year and meditate like suddenly and my uh meditation i started getting too sad like i couldn't close my eyes for 20 minutes so i've stopped for the past like six months but i'm trying because i need to build those neural pathways.

[1145] Well, I feel like you're always, do you know that feeling when you're running down a hill where it's super hard to stop?

[1146] You know, like, you have like this momentum.

[1147] It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, you're still up, but it's fucking, it's tricky.

[1148] That's how I feel you are.

[1149] Like, you're running on a slight angle.

[1150] You know, you're not flat.

[1151] Yeah.

[1152] It's not, you're always like a little.

[1153] I'm fucking, I am sometimes, I think in the last, yeah, I agree.

[1154] I'm trying to answer.

[1155] in a way that makes you seem wrong, but I realize you're pretty right.

[1156] And I think that also in the last couple of years that we've gotten to know each other, I haven't been doing as much stand -up.

[1157] And when I don't do stand -up, I get a little manic.

[1158] I think that stand -up serves a really important, like, release and catharsis purpose where I'm much more calm when I'm not performing when I do stand -up regularly.

[1159] But you get it out, right?

[1160] You get out those thoughts, these antagonistic and protagonistic thoughts, all these weird little ideas that are wrestling in your head, Like you could put them into a comedy form and then deliver that I'm on stage.

[1161] It's a very cathartic way of releasing ideas sometimes.

[1162] And then when the audience laughs, you know, and you're like, oh, I nailed this.

[1163] I'm on to something here.

[1164] I got it.

[1165] And there's just, I think that, you know, and again, and not to beat the, I come from a, as we all do, tricky home.

[1166] And I think that my brain seeks control or even a false sense of control, soothes it.

[1167] And when I do stand up, you kind of get to have control for at least the 20 minutes or an hour that you're on stage and everything feels like it's an order.

[1168] I know my place.

[1169] You know your place is a very clearly defined rules.

[1170] I'm talking, you're laughing.

[1171] I'm talking, you're laughing.

[1172] And that makes me feel really calm.

[1173] Whereas going through the world with like, I don't know who you are.

[1174] You're dangerous.

[1175] I don't know.

[1176] Like I have a hyperactive amygdala.

[1177] So it's like during the day, I'm just very dysregulated.

[1178] And doing stand -up is just, I don't know.

[1179] I just feel very like, I know where everybody's place is.

[1180] And I feel safe for that amount of time.

[1181] Do you get calmed down by working out?

[1182] A little bit because my motive for.

[1183] working out is so fucked up it's not like to you know i'm working more on like working out to get strong and to get healthy but for the longest time it was like to get skinny and to look fuckable you know so working out was like i was kind of hate fucking it i wasn't like doing it because i enjoyed it or wanted to be doing it so i'm trying to sort of find a new motive what kind of exercise do you do i get bored and i used to work with a trainer and i stopped And so I just started doing it myself, like, lifting.

[1184] And I just want to have a big butt.

[1185] It's all I really care about.

[1186] I'm just want an ass.

[1187] So I'm like used that machine.

[1188] Is it called the Jimmy John machine?

[1189] I don't know.

[1190] The one that like, you know a sausage company or is that a sandwich company?

[1191] Jimmy Dean.

[1192] I eat Jimmy Dean sausage to make my ass bigger.

[1193] That makes it.

[1194] Do you know what I'm talking about?

[1195] It's a squat machine, but it has like a little helper, has little claws.

[1196] What is it?

[1197] I think it's the Smith machine.

[1198] The Smith machine.

[1199] The Smith machine is the rack where the squat goes up and down.

[1200] That's what I do.

[1201] And you can just turn it forward to catch it.

[1202] That's what I do.

[1203] Why don't you?

[1204] I do that.

[1205] Yeah, that's a good machine to do.

[1206] It's good to do on your own.

[1207] I used to just one.

[1208] That's actually just, oh yeah, that's a Smith machine.

[1209] Yeah, that's what I do at the gym.

[1210] Those are good.

[1211] And then I do.

[1212] A lot of people don't like those because you don't have to balance them, though.

[1213] The idea is that there's a benefit to all the stabilizing muscles.

[1214] Like, you have a real barbell, a real bar on your back.

[1215] Yeah, sure you do.

[1216] I'm too ADD.

[1217] If I do that one, I'm afraid it'll hurt myself.

[1218] The Jimmy John helps.

[1219] me to not I'm not like a professional athlete I'm just like you should get a hug in pill form and take it five times a day whatever you just getting everything's gonna be here's working on it here's a hug in pill form um but uh I was doing like soul cycle I was doing like spinning for a while yeah just because whatever there's a great episode of the unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt oh really I'm making fun of it you ever watch that show no it's funny though I've seen a couple episodes she's great it went down for like two episodes and I almost abandoned it Great commentary.

[1220] Let me tell you, folks, if you're watching it now, because I've talked a lot of people in the watching it, when you get to, like, episode six of season one, don't panic.

[1221] It sucks for two episodes, and then it bounces back fucking strong.

[1222] It's hilarious.

[1223] And they made fun of spinning?

[1224] Oh, there's one with Nick Kroll.

[1225] Yeah, I love Nick.

[1226] And he's the spin instructor.

[1227] And I don't want to give it up any of it, but it's like, it's a cult.

[1228] These fucking SoulCycle things.

[1229] I used to go to SoulCycle and cry.

[1230] I'm not fucking kidding they'll play like Cheryl Crow or like Pink like you know Neil Redden always says that I have the musical taste of a 45 year old divorce A I love an inspirational Kelly Clarkson song I swear to fucking God Pink Cheryl Crow Alanis Morissette Like I will just get in there And you just start crying Because you're in a lot of pain And you're working really hard And you're just vulnerable And we feel like it's okay to cry Because you're sweating It's like no one's gonna know It's sweat or tears It's me and a bunch of like publicists crying Because it's $35 a fucking class.

[1231] It's crazy.

[1232] Isn't that much?

[1233] I think it's like, I mean, if you buy like a hundred packages, it ends up being like 28.

[1234] I have a thing called a Peloton bike.

[1235] Oh, that's the no, I tried it.

[1236] It's supposed to be amazing.

[1237] I tried someone else's.

[1238] You do a live spin class with people.

[1239] We have it here.

[1240] So do you do spin it and you like it?

[1241] No, they give it to me. Not a fan.

[1242] No, I mean, I would use it.

[1243] I have one here.

[1244] I just like it because it's like I can get in groove and I can check out and think about other things and like sort of that's it's like a moving meditation for me that's how i feel like about regular running when i run the hills me too i love running but now i run it with my dog it's a different dynamic because i always have to keep an eye on him yeah but he's pretty good he waits and waits for me and then i run and he's so much different than any dog you don't do it on a leash he's just following no he's just running yeah he's great he's great but he's not all my other dogs have been psycho so like i've had to have them on leashes because they would attack other dogs what kind of dog bulls I had a bunch of pit bulls So I'd run with them And you know And my Mastiff I just never ran with him He's too fucking big Yeah yeah yeah I just think it's bad for his body too Because he's always limping a little bit too He runs around too much in the yard He loves Yeah yeah yeah He's huge They're too big They're sort of meant to just hang out And loaf And I'm running really steep Inclines This is yours now The Golden Retriever Yeah That's great That dog is the best Running with animals It's the best feeling But me and him Have this crazy bond Like when we stop Like I'll stop when I run the hills, I'll pause because it's like, you know, I'm running this big sprint up to the top of the hill.

[1245] And then he'll sit and wait with me. And then he just like, I love you.

[1246] And he like, jump up and kiss me. I'm like, I love you too, buddy.

[1247] Like, calm down.

[1248] But it's like he's so excited that I do this with him.

[1249] He loves it.

[1250] He's so grateful.

[1251] Oh, yeah, this crazy bond thing going on.

[1252] That makes me so happy.

[1253] It's really intense.

[1254] Like, I've always, like, he's a sweet dog.

[1255] I bonded with him from the moment we got him.

[1256] But we have this extra bond now that we run three or four times a week.

[1257] Oh, yeah.

[1258] Well, you're a pack.

[1259] Yeah.

[1260] You're a pack together then if you're running together.

[1261] The other day, he found some shit.

[1262] I don't know if it was his shit because he usually shits in this area.

[1263] And he just laid down on it, started rubbing on it.

[1264] I one time took my fucking dog to hike.

[1265] And he came back.

[1266] I like, let him go.

[1267] I was like, all right, let's see how this goes.

[1268] Let's see if this is going to end the lawsuit for me. And so I let him go.

[1269] He comes back.

[1270] He's covered and like he smells like like wharf.

[1271] I can't even explain the rancid smell.

[1272] I was just like, what is that?

[1273] And he's covered.

[1274] covered in like he's got like stringy like I'm like is that spaghetti and then I keep walking there's a dead deer he had rolled in a dead deer carcass oh so you get all the worms it was just covered in worms and guts and eyeball and I was like oh fuck now I just I'm you're up for adoption yeah it's weird dogs like they like smell on them because don't they do it because my dogs um when coyote's uh shit in my yard my girl rolls in it because don't you do it so that the coyotes think you're in the pack so they don't kill you.

[1275] Ooh.

[1276] I think that's why you do it.

[1277] Fire up that Google.

[1278] Make sure I'm not wrong.

[1279] Yeah.

[1280] They roll in the shit so that the coyote doesn't kill them.

[1281] There's a guy I follow on Instagram that has a pet coyote and he hunts coyotes.

[1282] And he uses this pet coyote to help him hunt coyotes.

[1283] I don't like this person.

[1284] He has dogs and they hunt car.

[1285] Well, hunting coyotes is important in areas where coyotes attack deer fawns and coyotes.

[1286] Is this in California?

[1287] No, no. He's a hunter.

[1288] I mean, the guy's just a hunter, period.

[1289] But one of the things that he's done, he found a puppy, a coyote puppy that had been abandoned.

[1290] And so he adopted it.

[1291] And she lives with him.

[1292] It's really weird.

[1293] But coyotes are like, well, coyotes can't attune to human faces.

[1294] Like, they're basically sociopathic.

[1295] They're not, like, dogs you can't domesticate them, yeah?

[1296] Maybe not true, because this dog seems to be very playful with him.

[1297] Yeah.

[1298] And, like, he was biting his hand and but not hurting him.

[1299] And he's petting it.

[1300] and the dogs, it's playing with other dogs, you know.

[1301] Oh, but you can raise, because it's like, you know, I go to this, yeah, I go to work with this place Wolf connection.

[1302] And essentially it's like, I'm always like, well, which one's the most wolf?

[1303] Which one is the highest content of wolf in it?

[1304] Like with their blood and they're like, it doesn't really matter.

[1305] It's back to the nature and nurture thing.

[1306] It's that there are some wolves that were raised by dogs that have more dog -like qualities and some dogs that are raised like wolves that have more wolf -like qualities.

[1307] Right.

[1308] It's like the nature and nurture thing.

[1309] Yeah, that makes sense.

[1310] You know?

[1311] And this is, what does it got?

[1312] Rolling in feces, they're really common.

[1313] possibly a dog's ancient instinct to mask his scent, which is then able to animal to sneak up on their prey without detection.

[1314] Hmm.

[1315] So you might keep your...

[1316] So, oh, I guess dogs do it with other dog poop as well.

[1317] But my dog doesn't roll in my other dog's shit.

[1318] Only coyote shit.

[1319] Why doesn't...

[1320] You know what I mean?

[1321] So anything that it proceeds...

[1322] But wait a minute.

[1323] Your dogs are fucking tanks.

[1324] Huge.

[1325] They're probably not worried about a fucking coyote.

[1326] But coyotes hunt in fucking packs and they lure one and they surround them and...

[1327] Did I ever tell you a story about the guy who worked at the pet food store.

[1328] There's a guy who worked at the pet food store, also worked at a veterinarian's place, and they got this dog in.

[1329] It was one of those giant pit bulls, one of those like 120 -pound muscular tank pit bulls.

[1330] And it was covered with cuts all over its body.

[1331] We required hundreds and hundreds of stitches.

[1332] And so he asked the owner, like, what happened?

[1333] He goes, I don't know.

[1334] He goes, I came home, and he had gotten out of the yard.

[1335] He was covered in blood.

[1336] It was all fucked up.

[1337] He goes, I don't know what happened.

[1338] And so they stitched the dog up, and then they follow, literally follow a blood trail up into the hills where he finds nine dead coyotes.

[1339] Jesus.

[1340] This pit bull, they lured him in and then the coyotes ambushed him and he killed them all.

[1341] It's my homie right then.

[1342] Exactly.

[1343] It was like Vietnam.

[1344] Dude, he was like just necks ripped open guts torn apart, arms snapped off.

[1345] He goes, this pit bull just killed.

[1346] The pit bull had a head like a fucking fire high.

[1347] And their muscles are in their head.

[1348] Yeah, it was a monster dog.

[1349] You know, I had my ear bitten off by one.

[1350] Yeah, you told me. It happened so fucking fast.

[1351] I didn't, I didn't feel anything.

[1352] And you said it didn't mean to do it.

[1353] I felt no pain.

[1354] Didn't mean to do it.

[1355] It was like, it's, so it doesn't, I don't have to defend it.

[1356] We talked about it on the podcast.

[1357] Right.

[1358] So it's like, but I just, so fucking fast.

[1359] I didn't even feel it.

[1360] I felt no pain.

[1361] That's how fucking precise it was.

[1362] That's what they say about shark bites.

[1363] You don't, you don't feel the shark bite until you realize your leg's missing.

[1364] Actually, that girl Bethany, something.

[1365] She said it was like an orgasm.

[1366] It was like bliss because so much dopamine rushes to the area so that you keep fighting.

[1367] Like it actually felt good.

[1368] I don't think I'm comfortable about a 13 -year -old talking about orgasms.

[1369] Oh, God, we're going to jail, Joe.

[1370] Are you going to jail?

[1371] You sure she said it was like an orgasm?

[1372] Maybe I'm, maybe I'm putting that in there because I want to fuck a shark.

[1373] Sorry, don't do me. I do feel myself walking on eggshells around anything sexual all the time now.

[1374] You can't.

[1375] You can't.

[1376] A woman, I would say this right now.

[1377] You can say whatever the fuck you want to me. We're fucking next.

[1378] You know women.

[1379] are next.

[1380] And they should be.

[1381] If women are predators and using their power to coerce people, they should.

[1382] Have you seen my Harvey Weinstein bit?

[1383] You haven't seen it?

[1384] No. Can I see it Wednesday?

[1385] I'll tell you.

[1386] Yeah, Wednesday.

[1387] Yeah, for sure.

[1388] But I don't, that's nonsense.

[1389] Any guy, well, there are, I know guys that have been victimized by women at work.

[1390] There was a guy, TJ.

[1391] Remember the amazing atheist was telling the story about the woman that he worked with was always grabbing his ass and making him uncomfortable and she was like his boss.

[1392] He was, you know, real socially awkward and in this fucked up situation but that's super rare and I think that this is a balancing thing and this you know what I thought was the most hilarious thing about the women's march what that people were angry that these white women were wearing pink pussy hats because not all women have vaginas because not all women have vaginas because there's trans women oh I thought you were saying not all women's pussies are pink that too because women of color it's both they're offensive to women of color and trans women I haven't even heard that.

[1393] How many trans women were marching in the women's march?

[1394] I saw a bunch.

[1395] Yeah.

[1396] I mean, I didn't know they were trans based on their appearance, calm down internet.

[1397] I know them personally, so I knew that they were trans.

[1398] Yeah.

[1399] I would have sniffed them out for you.

[1400] But this fucking thread.

[1401] I mean, dude, Dick's episodes.

[1402] I'm a joker.

[1403] I'm a comedian.

[1404] There was a thread on my Twitter that I wasn't even involved with where these trans people and these lesbians were going at it back and forth.

[1405] And it was fascinating.

[1406] Because lesbians are one of the few groups that don't feel intimidated to talk shit to trans people.

[1407] They're like removed from it.

[1408] And they were saying that these trans people are homophobic and these trans women that are, it was fucking crazy.

[1409] It was for days.

[1410] I mean, for seven or eight days they were going at it back and forth.

[1411] But essentially the trans women, this is what the lesbians were saying, that the violence, the intersectional, no, that's not the way.

[1412] Intersectional?

[1413] No, the violence between women, women on women violence in relationships, domestic violence.

[1414] Uh -huh.

[1415] The statistics were skewed because a lot of it is trans women that were attacking women that they were in relationships with.

[1416] Because these women that are trans women, they have the same behavior that men have, which is this inclination towards domestic violence.

[1417] Sure.

[1418] And so they were saying that she was citing statistics about how many of these women that were the, the, the, the, the, victimizers were not they weren't they would not specify their gender at birth they were talking about their current gender and which is like a weird thing now you don't have to like you could get arrested if you're a trans woman for beating up a woman and they will say okay you're a woman I see yes I am a woman but you're the strength of a man right right it's not of your fucking business like oh okay and then so there was this it was really deep that's fascinating because one of these lesbians that started this with these trans women was very educated about these statistics and was attacking these trans women and she was saying essentially, like, don't go around and say, because you've been a woman for a fucking year and a half that you understand the struggle.

[1419] Fuck off.

[1420] Right.

[1421] Right.

[1422] And because you were just had male privilege two years ago or whatever and you've had it your whole life.

[1423] What was that video that guy, that comedians?

[1424] The face swap thing.

[1425] Yeah, yeah.

[1426] So I ran into him yesterday.

[1427] Kyle Donegan.

[1428] Yeah.

[1429] I ran into him.

[1430] Find his Twitter page and there's a thing that he did with uh with kate no it's it was um bruce jenner nope kately katelyn jenna katelyn jenner you can't get us killed fuck that can't change you name i love coming in here there's no pc shit allowed in here at all fuck off um but uh this this is that hold it from the beginning and give me some volume so hold before you play it before you play it this is what i wake up to this is um so kyle dunning how do you say his name done again Kyle Dunnigan did a face swap with Kim Kardashian and Caitlin Jenner.

[1431] And so take it from the beginning.

[1432] It's, it's, uh, Hey, how about this women's movement, huh?

[1433] It's our turn now.

[1434] Yeah, baby.

[1435] God, you lived as a man most of your life.

[1436] You're not a victim.

[1437] Are you serious?

[1438] Bruce used to make me touch his penis till he climaxed.

[1439] Yeah.

[1440] Time's up.

[1441] Me too.

[1442] wait.

[1443] I'm confused.

[1444] That was you, though.

[1445] Oh, nice.

[1446] Can't blame the victim.

[1447] That's nice.

[1448] What's your next question?

[1449] What was I wearing?

[1450] Jeez.

[1451] What are you wearing?

[1452] It's super cute.

[1453] Are you like this?

[1454] Donna Karen, 800 bucks.

[1455] Worth that.

[1456] That's funny.

[1457] Fuck, yeah, it was worth it.

[1458] That's it.

[1459] But it's fucking very funny.

[1460] Where did your file on his Twitter page?

[1461] No, his Instagram.

[1462] Somebody sent it to me. I think that's his Twitter.

[1463] But somebody sent it to me on his Instagram page.

[1464] He does that.

[1465] He does that.

[1466] I don't know him, but he does.

[1467] a bunch of these and they're fucking hilarious.

[1468] Yeah, yeah.

[1469] He wrote on Amy Schumer's show.

[1470] He's really funny.

[1471] He's really funny.

[1472] He did that cow commercial back in the day.

[1473] He did that cow commercial back in the day.

[1474] Was a Chick -fil -A or something where he was like dancing with a cow?

[1475] Do you know what I'm talking about?

[1476] We don't have to play that.

[1477] Yeah.

[1478] I'm not playing a fucking Chick -fil -A commercial.

[1479] But I just mean like it was something funny.

[1480] He's funny.

[1481] I tried to go to Chick -fil -A yesterday.

[1482] Why?

[1483] Because I was hungry.

[1484] Do you eat fast food?

[1485] Occasionally on Sundays.

[1486] Chick -Fleys fucking delicious.

[1487] I went to five guys instead.

[1488] But I couldn't go on Sunday.

[1489] Is it terrible for you?

[1490] Five guys?

[1491] Why can't you go on Sunday?

[1492] Because they are open.

[1493] Because of the baby Jesus.

[1494] Chick -fil -A does not open on Sunday.

[1495] Oh, because Chick -fil -A is fucking super religious.

[1496] I'm going to go have an abortion in the Chick -fil -A bathroom.

[1497] Don't do that.

[1498] Do you think that would upset any money?

[1499] Aren't we?

[1500] Yeah, I feel like I heard we're not supposed to eat a Chick -fil -A because of that.

[1501] You can't eat anywhere.

[1502] I was somewhere the other day and I was like, oh, let's go to this restaurant.

[1503] They're like, we can't.

[1504] That's a Mario Battali restaurant.

[1505] I was like, fucking, can everyone stop raping people so I can eat my favorite pasta.

[1506] How about Monique telling everybody to boycott Netflix?

[1507] That was crazy, huh?

[1508] It's hilarious.

[1509] I mean, that's a fucking insane.

[1510] I'm only getting a half a million dollars for an hour.

[1511] But it's like, for most people, that's like an insane fucking amount.

[1512] I mean, that's an insane amount of money.

[1513] Well, what's insane is her comparing herself to Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle and Amy Schumer.

[1514] You know, like, look, she's not as famous.

[1515] There's a, there's a scale.

[1516] And by the way.

[1517] This pay disparity stuff is tricky because you get paid based on the value that you bring.

[1518] You know who else was going on that?

[1519] Griffin.

[1520] Kathy Griffin was saying something about she did 23 stand -up shows with 23 standing ovations and she would do a special she would be willing to do a special but she wants to make sure she gets equal pay for women and she was making it a part of that like come on.

[1521] Say no and go somewhere else.

[1522] You know there's so many outlets now.

[1523] There's epics.

[1524] There's fucking hoot.

[1525] There's so many places.

[1526] Just say no. Here's the thing.

[1527] They pay you what they think it's worth.

[1528] Based on how popular you are based on how popular your stand -up is and based on what they think they can get out of it.

[1529] Yeah, I mean, that's why Dave Chappelle gets the most.

[1530] That's why Amy Schumer got a lot.

[1531] She was selling out fucking gigantic arenas.

[1532] She was selling out arenas.

[1533] Yeah, Monique's not doing that.

[1534] So for her to compare herself to those two people is fucking crazy.

[1535] I agree.

[1536] And she's basing it on her tickets like their box office for movies that she was in.

[1537] Like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[1538] And it's also, you're not just getting paid that amount.

[1539] You're getting paid when the special airs.

[1540] The tickets are going to sell because that special is streaming.

[1541] Which is people are so crazy when they're Boycott.

[1542] You need a boycott.

[1543] We need a boycott Netflix.

[1544] Like anyone's going to fuck it.

[1545] Netflix could, the head of Netflix could openly lynch someone and not one person would stop watching Netflix.

[1546] We're so addicted to it.

[1547] They were in trouble, though, with the Kevin Spacey thing.

[1548] They had to do something about that.

[1549] And they did.

[1550] And they did.

[1551] And they did.

[1552] And they did.

[1553] I mean, they lost a lot of money on it.

[1554] Yeah, they lost 39 million bucks.

[1555] Yeah.

[1556] Between that and the Gorvado.

[1557] Yeah.

[1558] Oh, right.

[1559] The Gorvadole.

[1560] Yeah, the Yeah, well, that was where Gore Vidal used to go to Bang Dudes.

[1561] But I feel like that's right.

[1562] But I feel like that it had to get this bad for people to be like, you know what?

[1563] We're not going to hire these people because it's going to, it has to be like a bottom line issue.

[1564] They're like, I'm not going to hire a rapist because it's too expensive.

[1565] Have you ever seen the Gorvidal William F. Buckley documentary?

[1566] No. Was that his lover?

[1567] No, the opposite.

[1568] They hated each other.

[1569] Oh.

[1570] William F. Buckley was a conservative.

[1571] He was a British conservative guy who was very popular during the day.

[1572] Yeah.

[1573] And this is from the 1960.

[1574] he's on television, and they were debating back and forth, Gorvidal and William F. Buckley, you know, liberal versus conservative.

[1575] But, like, on national television, it was like these really contentious, highly charged debates.

[1576] And it kind of sunk William F. Buckley's career, because at one time, Gorvidal called him a Nazi, called him a neo -Nazi or something along those lines.

[1577] And then William F. Buckley said something, called him a fucking queer, and I'll punch your face, I'll sock you in your nose, and you'll stay.

[1578] A, plastered, like, lost his cool on television, called him a queer on television.

[1579] And it was like this whoa moment.

[1580] And in William F. Buckley's career, like, completely descended.

[1581] You got to see who really is.

[1582] You pressure him.

[1583] When somebody snapped.

[1584] Like, and I love thinking about what in 30 years are when you look back and be like, yo, I can't believe we used to just fucking say that, you know, like retard.

[1585] We used to just say retard.

[1586] I still say it.

[1587] Of course.

[1588] But only the retards.

[1589] But not people with the disease.

[1590] just a human who does but the word is not the word is retarded means like to slow the growth of something yes to retard the business yeah you know like or like yeah like okay like denying someone birth control that is retarded it's retarded it's like socially retarded right because it's retarding it's slowing progress yes i don't think that's a bad word yeah what i think is a bad thing is to mock someone who has a disability correct but i don't think that you're always talking about that when you're saying that word.

[1591] I think we have a real problem with language policing.

[1592] I think we have a real problem with denying the use of sounds.

[1593] This is what a word is supposed to be.

[1594] It's like, you make a noise, so I understand what you're saying.

[1595] I understand, like, there has to be context.

[1596] Like, I have to, you're, it's supposed to be a sound that you make so I can understand what you're trying to convey.

[1597] Right.

[1598] And that's.

[1599] But if you say that's retarded and I go, you mean, you know, that's missing a chromosome, you know, like, it's like.

[1600] Well, that would be me saying that's down.

[1601] syndrome though.

[1602] Right.

[1603] Oh, that's true.

[1604] You know what I'm saying?

[1605] Yeah.

[1606] I think it's figuring out what the ideology is of the word.

[1607] I did not know.

[1608] This happened recently.

[1609] Someone said in a writer's room, she's uppity.

[1610] I did not know that that was a slave term.

[1611] We all learned very quickly that that was a term.

[1612] That's what it means?

[1613] Yes, the ideology of it was to describe a slave that was acting out.

[1614] And we learned, upity.

[1615] Wow.

[1616] I always thought upity was someone who was like a highfalutin, like, you know, some rich person.

[1617] I thought it was just someone who was, recalcitrant and would not participate or who is resisting, but it's actually has origins and same with like paddy wagon is like offensive to Irish people because it used to describe drunk Irish people.

[1618] Oh, but Irish people don't care.

[1619] Trust me. I'm one quarter Irish.

[1620] Of course.

[1621] It's like non -Irish people are the ones that are offended.

[1622] Isn't it funny that like one quarter Irish, I can't really say I'm Irish, but if I was one quarter black, I'd be, you would be, I have a fucking Afro, I would be a part of the community.

[1623] And then what's the other one?

[1624] There was another one.

[1625] Under your thumb, if you have someone under your thumb.

[1626] It's a Rolling Stone song.

[1627] Yeah, but it used to be, that was a thickness of a switch that you could hit your wife with.

[1628] It had to be, it couldn't be thicker than your thumb.

[1629] What?

[1630] Like there's, like, is it etiology or etymology?

[1631] Etymology.

[1632] Etymology of those words, which I just didn't know.

[1633] Do you know the term faggot, where that came from?

[1634] Cig.

[1635] No. That's a fag.

[1636] Oh, that's right.

[1637] Right.

[1638] And do you know what?

[1639] Why did it turn into a gay slurer?

[1640] This is, this will piss me off on Louis CK show.

[1641] They, they used this urban myth that what it meant was that a bundle of sticks was a faggot.

[1642] And so a gay man was a faggot because they were a bundle of sticks and you would burn them in a fire.

[1643] That's not true at all.

[1644] Did he know that wasn't?

[1645] I don't know.

[1646] It's convenient to ignore.

[1647] All you have to do is research it.

[1648] It's not hard.

[1649] What a bundle of sticks was referred to was a burdensome woman.

[1650] they would call a burdensome woman a faggot because she was like a bundle of sticks very difficult to carry around it would be awkward so a man who act like a woman was a faggot that's what the term meant that's where it came from that's no idea that's the absolute origins of that term so when people say there was a gay guy on louis cK's show that was saying that and i was it was him and nick de paolo and louis were all playing cards together and someone said some faggot and you realize why that's so offensive is because, you know, they used to burn people.

[1651] There's no fucking history of gay people being burned like witches.

[1652] By the way, even the Salem witch trials they didn't burn witches.

[1653] They drowned them.

[1654] They drowned them and dogs.

[1655] This is how fucking insane the hysteria was.

[1656] They drowned the dogs?

[1657] They killed two dogs in the Salem Witch trials.

[1658] Because they were dogs or witches?

[1659] They just, it was mass hysteria.

[1660] Do you know why they think they did that?

[1661] Why they think what?

[1662] The dogs are the drownings.

[1663] Why the whole witch trial thing happened?

[1664] religious fanaticism Ergot There was a late frost And this has been proven by core samples of the ground They had a late frost And when you have a late frost on wheat One of the things that happens is Bacterial growth on the wheat It essentially ergot Is very similar to lysergic acid Very similar to LSD Cows were dying and shit, right?

[1665] And they thought it was like witchcraft Well, yeah, there's a little bit of that, but that could have been other simple diseases.

[1666] Just fucking everyone had hepatitis back then.

[1667] But Ergot is a psychedelic.

[1668] And so these people were literally on acid and they were freaking the fuck out thinking they were being hexed by witches.

[1669] And they were paranoid, losing their mind.

[1670] Why didn't they think men were being witches as well?

[1671] I guess a couple of men did die.

[1672] And babies.

[1673] They killed a couple of babies.

[1674] Jesus Christ.

[1675] I just lost their fucking minds.

[1676] Well, they're on acid.

[1677] But I think, you know, give them.

[1678] in a situation when men are in a position of power, which they almost always were back then, and then something's happening to them, they would go for the weakest thing, which is probably a woman, or a single woman, or a woman is weird in any way, and just like, that bitch.

[1679] I mean, it's also just sort of annoying that now people, like, this is a witch hunt, this is a witch hunt, like, without even knowing that that word is actually something to describe when men used to hunt women, and now they're using it as a way, because this, like, I mean, you know, men thinking that we're like hunting them or it's some kind of like McCarthyism or something.

[1680] Yeah, well, witch hunt, the idea is that you're looking for something that's not really there.

[1681] Exactly.

[1682] You know?

[1683] And I guess I just don't know a lot of people who are doing that.

[1684] Yeah.

[1685] I think there's a real problem we have, like we said earlier, about tribalism.

[1686] Correct.

[1687] About being on tribe, female.

[1688] It's a mass shaming.

[1689] Wouldn't you say?

[1690] There's definitely that going on, for sure.

[1691] But what I'm saying is that people identifying with all women or men identifying with all men.

[1692] Yeah.

[1693] Like, especially men, I did it.

[1694] Like, I had this bit that I was doing.

[1695] doing for a while about a bumper sticker that I saw in a car.

[1696] It said girls kick ass.

[1697] That drives me nuts.

[1698] I hate that shit.

[1699] Some of them are lazy.

[1700] Don't even, I mean, we're getting into this.

[1701] Have you seen the bit I do?

[1702] The point is, the point is you can never have that about men.

[1703] Like a guy have a bumper sticker that said, boys kick ass.

[1704] And be like, pull the fuck over.

[1705] What are you doing?

[1706] What's in your car?

[1707] So, yes.

[1708] And here's what I'll say.

[1709] I do have a lot of girlfriends who are conflating you know empowerment with entitlement I totally get it and I have a lot of girlfriends who think they're feminist and they're actually just assholes like I have that I talk about this a little bit on stage yeah I have a couple girlfriends who are like I need a man to respect me and men need to respect me I'm like bitch you need to get those photos of you in tank tops that say rosé all day off your fucking Instagram before we have this conversation or not you recognize who you are yeah or but like you know you then earn my respect you know you don't automatically get respect just because you're a woman, that's entitlement.

[1710] You know, you still have to, like, watch a fucking TED talk and read a book every now and then.

[1711] You still have to, like, be cool and know what you're talking about.

[1712] So it's like, you know, I, there's definitely some duds.

[1713] Well, there's people that are, you know, they're now on the team that's attacking.

[1714] And this is.

[1715] And there's a tribal, like.

[1716] Yeah, this is no different than someone like, the Patriots, we're fucking kicking ass.

[1717] Yeah.

[1718] That's tribal too.

[1719] It's the same thing.

[1720] It's a natural inclination that people have.

[1721] But it's also at the same time, like, you know, I think a lot of guys.

[1722] I've heard be like, well, you guys hate all men and you think all men are assholes.

[1723] It's like, for me, it's actually the opposite.

[1724] I know a lot of really amazing men that have self -control and restraint that I'm comparing the shitheads to, you know, like in your - Those guys that say that, though, or just what?

[1725] They're scared, they're guilty.

[1726] Who's saying that you hate all men?

[1727] No, I get the people are like you're bitter, you know, feminist that hate men.

[1728] Like, you can't even say that word.

[1729] It's the same thing.

[1730] They're tribal.

[1731] Yeah.

[1732] They want to stand up for tribe male.

[1733] Yeah.

[1734] Instead of just objectively looking at.

[1735] this and what's going on?

[1736] Well, imagine being a woman, man. Imagine being a woman who's been working in an office and dealing with this shit all of your life.

[1737] Imagine being a woman who's been, you know, had to walk down the street past a bunch of guys and they grabbed her ass and harassed her.

[1738] And learn about the neurological ramifications of that that go on, i .e., like sometimes we can't speak out, sometimes we freeze, like you said.

[1739] You know, and I think it's just like nobody wants to look into that research.

[1740] There are some women, very few, but there are some women that hate men.

[1741] There are some men.

[1742] I want to say very few.

[1743] To hate a whole gender is a trauma response.

[1744] Yeah.

[1745] That is a, most likely.

[1746] One person hurt me or a couple people hurt me and I need to generalize about all of them to give myself a false sense of safety.

[1747] I have friends that have been divorced a couple times.

[1748] And those are the trickiest ones.

[1749] Because those guys, like, they literally, like, they have this idea that there's like that the women are the enemy and they take your money.

[1750] And they, they, they pretend they like you.

[1751] They pretend they like you.

[1752] And then eventually they turn it on you and they get their lawyers and they take your money and then i go what's going on with you that you keep gravitating that woman yeah that's my thing it's like what's going on with you that you like you had no idea well people are very different in the beginning of relationship very people have real personal sovereignty in the beginning of a relationship like interesting in the beginning of relationship you lock on like is this going to be the person that makes me feel better about life yeah is this going to be the person that brings me joy is this going to be the person that brings me lust and sex and fun and this is and then after one you get that bored with each other and then people get resentful and this is the thing about men with money that I've always said like when a man with money is dating a woman who doesn't have money then there's this weird dynamic like I think you like it at first or some guys like it at first okay the man when the man with money is dating the woman that doesn't have any money the woman is like wow this guy's got money this is amazing but then when they get married she's got money too now it's like now you're just another guy like I'm a rich lady now yeah like now I have money Like, I'm fucking divorces, dude.

[1753] I'm rich.

[1754] Oh, I see.

[1755] So, and then they're getting, they get entitled to money.

[1756] I would say I would never take money of the guy I'm dating.

[1757] Well, you have married.

[1758] That's different.

[1759] You're not, I mean, but that dynamic of the guy having all the money and the woman being like a waitress or something like that.

[1760] That's a normal dynamic.

[1761] When it happens, like, men like it because like, look at me, you know, I have, I'm so advanced in comparison to, you know, to what she is financially, to where she is.

[1762] I have all these things that I can offer her that she can never get on her own.

[1763] We're going to fly to Paris on a private jet.

[1764] I'm going to blow her mind.

[1765] You know, that kind of shit, right?

[1766] And then the woman marries this fucking asshole.

[1767] And then next thing you know, she is rich too.

[1768] She's got Gucci bags and a big diamond and she's driving a Ferrari.

[1769] And she's like, you know what?

[1770] I don't want to suck this guy's dick anymore.

[1771] I'm tired.

[1772] I'm tired of it.

[1773] I'm tired of the whole thing.

[1774] And then, you know, she's not impressed anymore because she's wealthy too.

[1775] So he's not a wealthy guy anymore.

[1776] Yeah, yeah.

[1777] He's just a guy because she's wealthy.

[1778] I see.

[1779] They're now equals and he doesn't have something that I can't access on my own.

[1780] I don't need him anymore.

[1781] Exactly.

[1782] I've never, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't have been hungry and poor before.

[1783] I guess I get that.

[1784] But I don't know, maybe it's just, maybe things are going to change in terms of like, maybe we'll look back in 40 years and be like, remember when 40 year olds, you just used to date broke 20 year olds?

[1785] Like, I mean.

[1786] It's still going to happen.

[1787] It's still going to happen.

[1788] We're biologically wired.

[1789] You guys are biologically wired to want to, you know, fuck women that are fertile.

[1790] I totally.

[1791] get that.

[1792] It's not just that.

[1793] The women are biologically wired to want to fuck successful mature men that are that have their shit together.

[1794] They're more emotionally stable.

[1795] They're physically more together.

[1796] Sure.

[1797] Yeah.

[1798] Are you my dad?

[1799] Are you my dad?

[1800] I've done it.

[1801] But this is not even just a dad thing.

[1802] It's just a position of power.

[1803] Like that someone is like they've accomplished something.

[1804] And maybe that's like going to be the new Darwinism.

[1805] It's like I don't need to date a man who has power.

[1806] I don't really need protection, right?

[1807] Because we have alarm systems and I have a lock on my door and whatever, but we're still wired to seek men that are alphas that have power and that have resources, even though, you know, we're not.

[1808] I don't think that's going to go away anytime soon unless we go full socialist.

[1809] Like, we're not as vulnerable as we were 2 ,000 years ago, you know?

[1810] Yeah.

[1811] Well, we're definitely, I'm sure, 2 ,000 years ago, men and women had a much more different dynamic than they have in 2018.

[1812] Yeah.

[1813] It's getting better.

[1814] I think overall, we have less violence.

[1815] We have less crime.

[1816] We have less almost everything today than we did 2 ,000 years ago.

[1817] And I think in, but I think the amount of radical change is happening, like we were talking about before, between 1960 and today.

[1818] Yeah.

[1819] If we go another 50 years in the future, it's going to be even more insane.

[1820] But it just might be like, like the guy, the people that thrive are the ones that are able to have some self control over their primordial brain.

[1821] So it's like you, it's like, I want to love to, but it just doesn't make sense.

[1822] Yeah, I don't want to suck that Donald Sterling guy's dick.

[1823] Do you know what I mean?

[1824] Totally.

[1825] It doesn't seem worth it.

[1826] I'd love to eat pizza every night, but I'll fucking die.

[1827] That's not hell.

[1828] I'll get fat.

[1829] You know, we'll just start to understand the consequences of dating the person that we are sort of primally attracted to and just go like, I know what that is.

[1830] That's what I want.

[1831] But I can't have everything I want because I'm a fucking human adult.

[1832] I think there's also a real this the way human beings react and the way we even think and the way what we think is acceptable and isn't acceptable changes with the culture.

[1833] And I think like it's one of the problems with going back to like 1960 and being upset at some of the way people.

[1834] behaved because they think man that is the way people behaved back then we know better now but to get mad and a man who behaved a certain way I'm not talking about like drugging and raping and stuff like that yeah yeah certain uh 20 years ago when it was socially acceptable sexist behavior from 1960 that was just normal yeah like I think this is just a part of the culture and people thought that's how you behaved now people are shifting yeah and I think we're and also I think one of the things it's going on.

[1835] This is one of the things that's empowered the women's movement and empowered a lot of other movements is access to information.

[1836] Correct.

[1837] It's radical.

[1838] It's happening so fast and it's inundating us and we have to catch up to it.

[1839] It's like it's happening so goddamn quickly that we're just trying, okay, what is okay now?

[1840] What's not okay now?

[1841] What can we do?

[1842] What can we not do?

[1843] Right.

[1844] And access to each other.

[1845] Like never before have 10 women all assaulted by the same man been able to meet each other.

[1846] Right.

[1847] How else would we run into it?

[1848] The grocery store, hey, were you assaulted by that guy by any chance?

[1849] Like we're able to find each other on.

[1850] Jamie, were you talking about Steve Carell in the office?

[1851] Was it you that was talking about that?

[1852] Yeah.

[1853] What about?

[1854] You watched the old episodes of the office, which is not that long ago.

[1855] Yeah.

[1856] He was such a creep.

[1857] And you can't really do that today.

[1858] That's amazing.

[1859] But he was kind of like bumbling, you know, like silly hapless.

[1860] I didn't watch the show.

[1861] So what was the difference?

[1862] It was, I think the purse episode where a girl shows up to sell purses and he just like makes a big to -do.

[1863] Just like, you can have the conference room.

[1864] And guess what?

[1865] I just got this espresso make.

[1866] don't make me give it to you because I won't oh do you need a ride home I give you right home but did it feel creepy or did it feel the ride home thing was a very particular creepy thing based off today's like world right and I think that like I mean what I know about the English version I don't know what the intention was for the American version the idea was to make him kind of polarizing and it makes you uncomfortable and he you know it's crazy that it wasn't that long ago yeah it wasn't like but it's like you know it's like you know it's interesting because so much of this is is almost it's because it's so intense Well, it's hard to explain, and I think this is why a lot of guys are getting annoyed because when you get granular about it, it makes us seem like we're just being crazy.

[1867] Because so it's like, you hug me at the comedy store and it feels different than when, let's call him, Joe Blow hugs me. There's just something creepy about Joe Blow and there's something not creepy about you.

[1868] And I can't explain it and I can't tell you why.

[1869] And I sound crazy and manic and history on it.

[1870] No, that doesn't sound because that's the same way with gay guys.

[1871] There's certain gay guys that hug me where it's creepy.

[1872] There's certain gay guys that hug me I don't want to out anybody But there's certain guys that hug me I'm like what's up And give him a hug And it's all just warm and friendly And it's cool It doesn't matter if they're gay or not But then there's other guys that They hang on to me a little Or they'll squeeze my back a little And it's a little extra going on I'm like okay And I think that that's what like Females are kind of trying to sort of say with the more granular stuff And with the Aziz story and stuff It's like I know it sounds like I'm being crazy But I promise there's something fucking creepy about it and I know that I don't have proof and I don't have photo evidence, but I'm, but and the more you talk about it, the crazier I sound, but I think that that is just making me, the Steve Krall thing is making me, it's like a hug that lasts a little too long.

[1873] I had a guy once in an office.

[1874] Right, but don't you think the Aziz story is like, like, look, you don't have to try to tank a guy's life from a bad date.

[1875] It seems like you both ate each other out and went down on each other and it's like, it sounds like it sucked, but then you're anonymous and then you're 22 or 23.

[1876] Like, this is like poor judgment.

[1877] And cruelty.

[1878] There's a lot of cruelty involved.

[1879] Like somebody described it as revenge porn.

[1880] For women.

[1881] Yeah, it's our version of revenge porn.

[1882] But it's just like, look, this is not, these are not comparable crimes to like what we've been discussing.

[1883] And I don't know if, and I can't speak to saying who's guilty and all that sort of.

[1884] I don't know what happened.

[1885] I don't think there's enough information, but I don't think that this person is coming forward equating it to rape.

[1886] I think women know that there's different echelons.

[1887] There's rape.

[1888] But they call it sexual assault.

[1889] I mean, look, I don't know enough about it.

[1890] I don't know enough about it either.

[1891] But like, I do know in my 20s, I'm not saying as he's guilty again, I don't know.

[1892] But in my 20s, I had a lot of sex that I felt I was coerced into that was transactional sex that I didn't want to have.

[1893] You know, and this is something we talk about in the female brain movie is that men are less able to read cues, emotional cues on faces than women are.

[1894] How does that work?

[1895] So we have evolved to cry four times more easily because men have a harder time, read.

[1896] emotional cues on faces.

[1897] Wow.

[1898] That's why women cry easier?

[1899] That's why we cry easier because men are designed to sort of like see movement and to hunt and right.

[1900] You're not designed to sort of read like, oh, is she frustrated or angry?

[1901] You know, like, have you ever been on a double date with your wife?

[1902] And like, you think that her and the other, I can't imagine you on a double date.

[1903] That was so weird thinking about it.

[1904] I've done those things.

[1905] Really?

[1906] In the very early stage.

[1907] No, I've done them recently.

[1908] But have you really.

[1909] Yeah.

[1910] And you go on a double date and like you have to fucking talk to the guy.

[1911] He's asking you a million questions about hunting, and you're like, just listen to my podcasts.

[1912] Why do I have to fucking do this for free?

[1913] And then your wife is talking to the other girl, and you think it's going well, and the girl gets the car.

[1914] And you're like, oh, that went well.

[1915] And you're like, she was such a bitch.

[1916] I couldn't fucking stand her.

[1917] And you're like, it seemed like you guys got along great, you know?

[1918] Like, has that ever happened to you?

[1919] My wife's not like that.

[1920] She's just, like, transparent.

[1921] She's just, like, she just talks.

[1922] I mean, she's not, like, if she thought something was bad, she would let everybody know.

[1923] Like, right away.

[1924] Well, she would just, it would be obvious.

[1925] Or just just sort of like sometimes there's like basically and we talk about the movie is like it's just men are not as good at reading emotions on faces.

[1926] So it's like if you were to say like Whitney, how are you?

[1927] And I was like, I'm fine.

[1928] You might just be like, okay, she's fine.

[1929] Let's move on.

[1930] A lot of guys can't understand that there's a discrepancy between what I'm saying and how I'm saying it.

[1931] And it's like about just reading like how muscles move on human faces.

[1932] So it's like you can look up sort of the difference.

[1933] And, you know, so I'm not defending men in that area.

[1934] I think that an interesting conversation that might come up at some point is people who have autism are really going to be fucked in all of this.

[1935] People who can't pick up on social cues because so much of this is nonverbal.

[1936] I fear that we're going to get to a place where we're going to have to sign contracts and shit before we have sex and stuff.

[1937] Because, you know, I know that in my 20s and I'm freezing up just talking about it is that when men made physical advances to me, I would be giving off these nonverbal cues.

[1938] And I wasn't saying no, but my body was saying no. and I'm not saying it's necessarily a guy is supposed to like be able to read my body language but that's what was happening because I froze up because of my trauma response and I was scared and also we are conditioned to be submissive to men I am conditioned to feel shame if I don't fuck a guy in a certain amount of time I spent a lot I thought it was the opposite I thought you would feel shame if you fucked a guy too quickly if you fuck a guy on the first date you feel shame but if you there's this sort of like unspoken rule that you like kind of have to fuck a guy on the third date what?

[1939] Yeah oh totally am I?

[1940] Do you not think that?

[1941] Jamie's never heard of this either.

[1942] Oh yeah.

[1943] I feel like guilt and shame and I'm difficult and I'm a prude and I'm like whatever.

[1944] This might just be you.

[1945] Yeah, this might just be me. But like every, I mean, every girl that I know that I'm, maybe it's just my generation or something.

[1946] Every guy out there is like, oh, I got to do is just get three dates in and we're in.

[1947] But think about all, think about negotiate.

[1948] So just the tip is like something we joke about, right?

[1949] But it is based in the idea of negotiating for sex.

[1950] So if someone is starting to say just the tip, that means I've already said no. And you're like, well, come on.

[1951] How about just a blow job?

[1952] And then I'm like, no, just come on, just the tip.

[1953] It's like, we joke about it, but that means that a negotiation is going on.

[1954] And then I've already said no. And then you just get worn down.

[1955] And that's like transactional sex, which I think women are kind of just, I won't generalize about all women.

[1956] But I think some women are like sort of like, I don't want to have that kind of transactional sex anymore.

[1957] And like, like, I feel like I'm being used as a blowup doll.

[1958] And I think from what I understand that girl felt, she felt like she was like rushed through dinner and like went back and was just sort of expected to.

[1959] be fucked.

[1960] And I think a lot of what's happening is that men were promised something from porn and women were promised something from romantic companies.

[1961] Men were promised that women like want it all the time.

[1962] And women have been promised that men like want to talk to us.

[1963] And I think these expectations are clashing.

[1964] So I think it's a little bit of nature and a little bit of nurture.

[1965] So a lot of it being media misrepresentations of actual relationships and that's the models that people are acting on.

[1966] Maybe.

[1967] Yeah.

[1968] I think it's different for every person because Everyone person has a different experience with sex.

[1969] Everyone has a different ability to read faces.

[1970] Everyone has a different nature and nurture.

[1971] Everyone had different fucking parenting.

[1972] And then there's a problem with, like, sometimes you really shouldn't be with that person, and you're there.

[1973] And you're there.

[1974] And what do you do?

[1975] I mean, I've literally had sex before just to, like, get out of there.

[1976] You're just like, oh, God, I don't want to argue with this person right now, but I feel like this person feels entitled to my body.

[1977] And I feel shame and I'm embarrassed.

[1978] And, like, it's just all this stuff that's really kind of hard to explain.

[1979] and I think it probably is annoying to the guy and I just like I don't want to be difficult and I've been so gaslit to believe that I'm difficult.

[1980] It just gets like really messy and then by the time you figure it out, you've already had sex and you're just like, oh fuck, can I have my parking pass back?

[1981] This is part of just being a human and trying to navigate your way through the fucking treacherous waters of just social interactions, sexual interactions.

[1982] I didn't figure out until I was 32 years old.

[1983] I wasn't able to like articulate or figure out whether I actually wanted to be having sex or not.

[1984] So, like, my advice to all my guy friends is do not have sex with girls that are under 30 because, like, I could not, I didn't have the ability to even know or say what I want until I was like 30.

[1985] But for men, a lot of men feel like if you have sex with a girl who's under 30, then it's fun.

[1986] And you can have fun.

[1987] But if you have sex with a girl who's over 30, their biological clock is ticking.

[1988] Maybe.

[1989] I froze my eggs.

[1990] I've got time.

[1991] My shit's on ice.

[1992] They're pressuring you into this, you know, relationship very quickly.

[1993] What's your intentions?

[1994] Where is this going?

[1995] I want to know how we stand.

[1996] What are we?

[1997] Block that bitch.

[1998] Block her.

[1999] Find another one.

[2000] There's Tinder.

[2001] You can find plenty of women in their 30s.

[2002] What if you like her?

[2003] You just wanted to calm down.

[2004] Let's work this out.

[2005] I mean, look, we're going to have to like start talking to each other, I guess, and like setting expectations.

[2006] I know.

[2007] That sounds like a nightmare, doesn't it?

[2008] So much drama.

[2009] LBC.

[2010] But it's also, it's like, it's so funny.

[2011] This is totally like, I probably shouldn't say this.

[2012] But I was thinking someone was like, yeah, and then they had dinner and afterwards.

[2013] They, whatever, and she wasn't into it.

[2014] I was like, that's already fishy.

[2015] I never want to have sex after dinner.

[2016] I think it's disgusting.

[2017] I'm like full of lasagna.

[2018] Like, I don't want anything in my body after I've eaten.

[2019] Like, I need a couple.

[2020] I like to have sex before I eat.

[2021] Someone's going down on you.

[2022] You have to fart.

[2023] I'm like, can we, if we're going to, if I'm just assume that no, any sex after dinner is not consensual.

[2024] But it's super normal.

[2025] Yeah.

[2026] Sex after dinner.

[2027] You're grossed out by it.

[2028] If I just, like, eat chicken parmesan, like, I don't want your, you know, it's disgusting to me. You know, so I just know that I've had a lot of sex in my 20s that I didn't want to be having that felt transactional, that just didn't feel, you know, I think that, you know who really wins in all this prostitutes and sex robots.

[2029] Well, I think if prostitution was legal.

[2030] See, the problem with prostitution being legal is it's still shameful and still look down upon, whereas massage therapy is not.

[2031] You get to keep your job.

[2032] keep your job like I just no I mean like if you're afraid of sexually assaulting someone by accident or having an inter -personal relationship at work and all the stuff that's going on just like having sex with the hooker like you're not going to get fired they're not going to report you yes but it's very problematic in that it establishes this dynamic between a man and a woman where it's very transactional yeah and then if you get accustomed to transactional sex it could make it worse when you're actually with it's like then your thought is just i just got to pay for it yeah why would i deal with your bullshit i just be a grown up baby i just to get my dick sucked all the time i just mean if like men need because i literally was thinking about the other day i was like i would like someone to invent like a virtual reality game so that women can understand what sex feels like for me like it must be so amazing i was thinking about it because it's like it's more amazing for a guy than it is for a woman just because i'm like to be willing to like throw away your career and take that big of a risk no that's not what it is no no It's, the way I described it in one of my specials, I said being a man is like having a small 24 -hour sperm factory with a very shitty agreement with the union.

[2033] You got one delivery truck, that's your dick.

[2034] And you got one warehouse and packages are piling up every day.

[2035] And your dig is like, hey, hey, we're going to get these fucking packages out of here.

[2036] What are we going to do?

[2037] And the more it stacks up, the more desperate you get, the more you're willing to negotiate.

[2038] the more you do stupid things.

[2039] The nature of being a human being is men are trying to get rid of cum because we're making it all day long.

[2040] All day long, we're making come.

[2041] We're cum factories.

[2042] That's what we are.

[2043] And when a man doesn't have sex for a few days, you don't, like I went through, I did an experiment on my website, like many years back, where I didn't jerk off for a month.

[2044] What happened?

[2045] I was like, holy shit.

[2046] You get so desperate.

[2047] Like just touching people, just getting a hug, your dick gets hard.

[2048] He's like, this is bizarre.

[2049] Because most of the time, guys handle it by just jerking off you just like it's like a relief you just you're you literally are backed up by you have pressure and you relieve it i don't know what it's like to be a woman but one thing i do know is you're not making a thing that you have to get rid of correct you like we have the and the difference between a guy being horny on like day one of no jerking off versus day 30 it's like you're a totally different human being wow you're a desperate you know And men who don't ever get touched and don't ever get to have sex are extremely desperate.

[2050] And they will do almost anything that will negotiate in very bizarre ways in order to be involved in relationships.

[2051] That's why you see men that are, quote, pussywipped.

[2052] Like, why are they pussy whipped?

[2053] Like, what is that?

[2054] Well, that's the only option they have.

[2055] Sure.

[2056] These are weak people.

[2057] And the only option they have is to acquiesce to whatever desires and needs the woman has.

[2058] Right.

[2059] You have to submit.

[2060] You have to submit.

[2061] And then she'll throw some pussy at you, like a dog.

[2062] throw some fucking scraps your way that's literally what happens I just thought of airborne pussy It's upsetting But here's what But my question But but But these men Had no lack of pussy in their lives These are men The men, the powerful men that are going down Right These are men that could fuck whenever they wanted Right But there's still There's the Harvey Weinstein thing He had the most beautiful wife on the planet I don't know if she wasn't fucking him I don't know I think he was a fucking addict and I think he's a power addict and a sex addict and he's a fat fuck so he's a food addict and power I want to know I'm like a big baby I want everything and just stuffing things in his body I mean he's a fucking crazy friend but like Bill Cosby could have fucked anyone whenever he wanted he was so famous fame addict did me tell you a story about Bill Cosby I used to I did this casino once and I talked to this woman who was one of the managers of the casino she said Bill Cosby would make the entire staff watch him eat curry before he would perform.

[2063] They would have to watch him eat.

[2064] They would come into his dressing room, and he wouldn't talk to them.

[2065] They would watch him eat.

[2066] And that's what he would do.

[2067] When he was eating his food before his performance, everyone had to watch him.

[2068] Then he had someone, a security guard, tuck him into bed at night.

[2069] They had to tuck him in.

[2070] So he laid in bed, and they would tuck him in, and then shut the lights off and close the door.

[2071] What mental illness is that?

[2072] Delusions of grandeur, complete separation from normal society, this thought that he is royalty.

[2073] Right.

[2074] This is what I think.

[2075] I think the same behavior that kings have, you see that with dictators, you see that with celebrities that are, especially celebrities that, again, became super famous 50, 60 years ago.

[2076] Right, right, right, right.

[2077] You know, he was famous 60 years ago.

[2078] Well, there's some people like Danny Masterson who's young.

[2079] This guy's not, you know.

[2080] The Danny Masterson one is interesting because he's a Scientologist.

[2081] Yeah, of course.

[2082] Yeah.

[2083] I mean, I'm not saying.

[2084] No. No, I don't, I mean, now I think he's left.

[2085] I don't know if they embraced that or I don't know enough about it.

[2086] Paul Haggis, too.

[2087] This is one of the things that they were saying about him.

[2088] They think that he's being set up.

[2089] I understand.

[2090] Right.

[2091] So, yeah, I know Leah Remini.

[2092] I heard her saying that she thinks that these are fake allegations.

[2093] I don't know if that's true.

[2094] But I think Dadey Masterson didn't leave.

[2095] Like, I don't think it was a ploy.

[2096] I've been hearing this for years.

[2097] Oh, you have been hearing this before.

[2098] Why the fuck didn't you come forward?

[2099] What was I going to do?

[2100] Hey.

[2101] Tell everybody.

[2102] This is my phone.

[2103] As if phones still look like this.

[2104] this is true, but I'm going to tell you because I don't want to feel bad about it 10 years from now.

[2105] I know, totally.

[2106] Like, you know, like I had heard creepy shit about him, but it's like, why does a young guy like that who can fuck anyone, whatever he wants have to do something like that?

[2107] And it's like, I understand if you have all this, the packages and the sperm building up, but why can't you just jerk off?

[2108] Why can't you just fuck someone consensually?

[2109] See, that's a different thing, though.

[2110] The rape thing's a different thing.

[2111] The rape thing is a dehumanizing power things.

[2112] It's like you, you say no, fuck you.

[2113] Don't say no to me. I'm like, I'm going to fucking do this to you.

[2114] There's a, that's not sex.

[2115] There's something way more.

[2116] Because if you can get hard when a woman is crying and wants you to stop and saying, please stop, you know, don't rape me, don't do this, you know, I don't want you to do this.

[2117] I mean, and you could still do that.

[2118] That's like some Viking shit.

[2119] Yeah.

[2120] It's really some.

[2121] Because it's like, I mean, there could be some sort of, obviously not to defend it, but some sort of survival instinct in being able to procreate with a woman who's not interested.

[2122] Like, our biology is still not checked for, like, overpopulation, the fact that we no longer need to force ourselves upon women to, um, proliferate the species.

[2123] Yeah, there's got to be some leftover ancient, horrible, rape DNA.

[2124] Because there were a lot of people that were, I mean, Genghis Khan, his genes are in some ungodly percentage.

[2125] That's right.

[2126] Amount.

[2127] Yeah.

[2128] Yeah.

[2129] Pull this microphone.

[2130] Oh, shit.

[2131] Sorry, I keep doing this.

[2132] You got on your neck again.

[2133] Yeah.

[2134] I can see.

[2135] It starts out.

[2136] You start on my two.

[2137] I mean, it's interesting.

[2138] Like, I'm just so curious how things are going to evolve.

[2139] Like, are the people that are going to proliferate the ones that have the most self -control, whereas it used to be your masculinity or your value was defined by how strong you are, about how powerful.

[2140] And maybe the new power is self -control and restraint.

[2141] Well, I think maybe people need to start looking at each other as other human beings instead of us versus them.

[2142] And I think that's part of the women's movement that's an issue and part of the men's side of it that's an issue.

[2143] I think we have to get past tribalism.

[2144] I think, you know, Dan Harris from Good Morning America was on the podcast the other day and we were talking about in terms of politics.

[2145] He was saying toxic tribalism.

[2146] I love that term.

[2147] Me too.

[2148] Because that is across the board an issue in this country, right versus left.

[2149] That's an issue in this country with basically everything, men versus women.

[2150] I think we have to just look at each other as human beings.

[2151] And, you know, I'm not pro men.

[2152] I'm not pro -woman either.

[2153] I'm pro -humans.

[2154] And there's a lot of really shitty men out there.

[2155] And there's a lot of really shitty women.

[2156] Correct.

[2157] And it's a real problem if we lump everybody into, well, women want this.

[2158] And women are not going to do that.

[2159] Women are not going to lie about rape.

[2160] Women are not going to lie.

[2161] Of course they are.

[2162] Just like men are going to lie about it.

[2163] People are liars.

[2164] Great point.

[2165] There's a lot of people that are just poorly formed human beings and they are now a part of a righteous tribe of people that are attacking this other tribe.

[2166] And it's like most women didn't march.

[2167] You know what I mean?

[2168] Right, right.

[2169] That's the thing.

[2170] Imagine they did.

[2171] Imagine if 150 million women were marching.

[2172] Most women did not give a fuck.

[2173] Most women, I mean.

[2174] But the numbers are pretty staggering.

[2175] Staggering.

[2176] But there is something interesting, I think, about what happens when a group of women get together.

[2177] Because I think that, at least in my experience, especially like in the workplace.

[2178] And I was like trying to do some research on this.

[2179] And I don't know enough about it.

[2180] But there's this thing called, I believe it's called favoritism bias.

[2181] And it's how women in a workplace actually compete.

[2182] heat with each other because they're afraid that the man is going to think that they're favoring their gender.

[2183] So they're actually shitty.

[2184] It's like like Queen Bee syndrome or something where it's actually, I've experienced a lot of competition with other women because there are so much scarcity for jobs.

[2185] It's like women just getting in the workforce.

[2186] Like in the last 10, 20 years, this is kind of new.

[2187] So it's sort of like, bitch, this is fucking my job.

[2188] Oh, hell no. So I think for women to actually be on the same team not to support toxic tribalism is actually kind of a refreshing thing to just be like, like we're not competitive.

[2189] competing for a man, we're not competing for a job, we're actually going to unite.

[2190] Like, I think there's just people, there's something kind of healing about that, at least for now.

[2191] Yeah, I agree with that.

[2192] I've, I've experienced women confiding in me about other women, like, in comedy.

[2193] And they're so shitty and judgmental and critical.

[2194] Like, I've had women say things about other women comedians are like, what?

[2195] Wait a minute.

[2196] You really think she's like that?

[2197] Yeah.

[2198] Like, yeah.

[2199] Oh, she's a fucking hack.

[2200] She's fucking terrible.

[2201] And this time, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

[2202] she is funny like what are you talking about they'll get really angry about it and like like what is it like what is that like what is that like scarcity complex like there can only be one woman each show and it's fucking her or me or it's like you know and that's like a primal thing of course because it's like I want protection from the man because whatever there's all that sort of like old primordial shit but competition between women like I have this is the first time I'm kind of not feeling that and it's kind of nice for the moment And we'll see because I definitely know, even though I think that, you know, women, my concern, I don't remember who I was talking about this the other day, is that basically people are just going to stop hiring women or stop hiring mixed, like putting, mixing people, genders up in offices because it's just too scary.

[2203] I'm concerned there's going to be a little bit of a backlash that guys are, you know, it's not worth hiring women because it's just going to be a nightmare.

[2204] I mean, I know a lot of guys who are like, I never hire pretty assistants or I'll never hire a pretty girl to me in my office because I'm just too.

[2205] scared the way men are going to act, which I think is a little crazy and unfortunate, but it's like, no one wants to get sued.

[2206] But it's not just no one wants to get sued.

[2207] You change the office dynamic.

[2208] If you have a really hot assistant and she's walking around with all these other guys in the office and the other guys in the office, they'll get in her cups of coffee.

[2209] All of a sudden, they're her assistant.

[2210] And then men recognize that.

[2211] Like, when I see a guy that's like, skis in on a chick and like, oh, I see what you're doing.

[2212] If you have needed an intern or something and you have two women that are equally qualified and One is overweight and 55, and one is 22 and gorgeous.

[2213] I don't know how they could be equally qualified, but whatever.

[2214] Like, who are you going to hire?

[2215] Are you kind of like, oh, this is a liability?

[2216] This could be a problem.

[2217] Well, the 55 -year -old lady might be fucking crazy.

[2218] She will not know how to use Dropbox.

[2219] She might be, like, really interested in, you know, some of the things that we're interested in make it easier to talk to her.

[2220] Or it could be the opposite.

[2221] The 55 -year -old might be wise and, you know, very calm to be around.

[2222] I mean, you can't, like, it's the individual.

[2223] I just mean, if you're owned by a corporation or if you're NBC or if you're Disney or something, I know there are a lot of conversations about like, like potential liabilities.

[2224] Well, someone is a 55 -year -old intern.

[2225] It's like, whoa, don't you need money?

[2226] Well, that's a red flag.

[2227] Yeah, that's a red flag.

[2228] I'm just, I had a PA on the show that I was on once and he was 39.

[2229] And I was like, wait a minute, why you're a PA and you're 39?

[2230] And he turned out to be a fucking nut.

[2231] And he was on pills.

[2232] Oh, no. He was on, he was like, I'm like, I had to tell people.

[2233] I go, do you see the way he's moving?

[2234] Like he turns and like really quickly.

[2235] I go, that guy's on speed.

[2236] There's 100%.

[2237] And they were like, you sure?

[2238] I go, watch him.

[2239] I go watch him.

[2240] He's twitchy.

[2241] Swiveling around.

[2242] He's always talking.

[2243] He can never shut the fuck up.

[2244] He interrupts conversations and he injects with these long, boring stories of his own.

[2245] That guy's on speed.

[2246] 100%.

[2247] 39 -year -old intern.

[2248] They fired him.

[2249] They went up firing him like right after this one job that we did.

[2250] But I was like, okay.

[2251] It was tricky, though.

[2252] I've talked to a bunch of people who were like bosses and they're like, fine i'll just stop hiring women oh that's crazy and it's like oh god that's a whole other because they're just so afraid of getting sued and they're so afraid of inner office relationships and that sort of shit so this could backfire i'm too free i'm too free to have input on this it's a it's you know i think there's a weird dynamic when men and women work together and you have a really hilarious bit about it like people working in an office together like that they the way they interact with each other it's very strange honey badgers in a fucking cage it's just weird yeah it's like you're this is your new family like you're these people eight hours a day and you're only asleep for five and then you have a you know what I'm saying how long do you see your wife every day two hours maybe right and you're it's fucking weird and then you're in traffic for three right so like like what are you doing like your life is these people and so then your sexual situation gets weird because you're developing bonds with them trauma bonds especially if you're people that never fuck but they want to fuck forever and they just hug each other a little and they're sweet to each other for it, but nothing ever comes of it.

[2253] But they both know.

[2254] They both know they really want to fuck, but they're not going to, so they kind of a little flirty and a little affectionately.

[2255] And they exchange those silly text messages and then the wife will find out this is an inappropriate emotional relationship.

[2256] And you're like, well, what does that mean?

[2257] I can't have friends.

[2258] And it's emotional cheating.

[2259] My work wife or my work husband type thing.

[2260] I've had that sort of stuff happen.

[2261] People do have.

[2262] I've offered people openly talk about their work husband.

[2263] I was like, whoa, this is dark.

[2264] I mean, I remember with Christa Leah.

[2265] I was doing a show with Chris Celia.

[2266] And we would spend all day together every day.

[2267] And we were like having this relationship.

[2268] I mean, we were also acting as girlfriend and boyfriend.

[2269] And we were sort of super bonded.

[2270] And then because you spend all day talking to each other, confiding in each other, sharing all these experiences.

[2271] By the time you get home to your actual boyfriend, you're like, good night.

[2272] And then a month later, I'm like, because remember when that director yelled at me?

[2273] And they're like, no. And it's like, I thought I told you.

[2274] You don't listen to me. You don't understand me. It's only because I've invested everything in that other person that all of a sudden.

[2275] And it starts driving a wedge between you and your actual.

[2276] So what you're supposed to do in relationships is keep everything and hold it.

[2277] It's like not ejaculating, basically, emotionally.

[2278] It's like hold.

[2279] Like if something crazy happens to me at work, I don't confide in someone at work.

[2280] I have to wait until I get home and bore the shit out of my boyfriend.

[2281] I know this dude who is a very funny guy and he brings this woman on the road with him.

[2282] And when he brings this woman on the road with him, his wife freaks.

[2283] She does not like an opener?

[2284] Yeah, he's got a woman opening act.

[2285] It's hard.

[2286] the wife is fucking freaking do you truly think I'm all for female opening acts obviously I'm panicking do you think he has any interest in her he just wants to I mean I support having a she's nice she's funny she's a good comic you know and he has her open for him yeah I used to open for yeah I mean it's totally possible yeah but you know it's that thing you're experiencing this thing that she can't do.

[2287] The wife is not a comedian.

[2288] That's another thing.

[2289] I think comics also have a bond that I feel like the outside person can never totally understand.

[2290] Never.

[2291] Yeah.

[2292] Well, just the way we joke around with each other.

[2293] Just the things you and I have said to each other.

[2294] If we said these things in an office, like, holy shit.

[2295] Lawsuit.

[2296] Human resources.

[2297] We'd both go to jail.

[2298] Yeah.

[2299] I think you'd go to jail more than me. I am the worst, but thank God that NBC lawsuit, those friends writers made a lot of progress for us.

[2300] Because what is that?

[2301] Okay, so there's this famous lawsuit on friends.

[2302] The writer's assistant sued the writers in the writer's room because they were saying something about the actresses or saying like fucking them with twigs or I think something crazy.

[2303] And they sued the writer's assistant sued the writers for sexual harassment and said to hear all this disgusting shit.

[2304] And the writers won because they said it was part of our creative process.

[2305] Well, it is.

[2306] It certainly is.

[2307] And especially with comedians, we have said ridiculous shit to each other.

[2308] Yeah, I mean, like, we just, like, guys, first of all, like, Callan, Dahlia, me, we've said ridiculous shit, like, about each other.

[2309] Like, like, about how I'd fuck you.

[2310] Do we had fuck you, bro?

[2311] First of all, I'm a top.

[2312] Oh, that's my favorite.

[2313] That's me. I'm a top.

[2314] And you're just going to give in.

[2315] You're just going to give in.

[2316] You're going to spin on your hand.

[2317] You're going to rub it on your butt.

[2318] And we will do that to each other because it's how we make each other laugh.

[2319] Yes.

[2320] That we need something really extreme and completely forbidden to make each other laugh.

[2321] That's correct.

[2322] I think that is so fascinating.

[2323] I think comedians, we just have to go off the grid a little bit every now and then.

[2324] Like someone who watches too much porn.

[2325] Right.

[2326] We just, we need gags and fucking mascara running and fucking belts around your neck.

[2327] We need the whole thing.

[2328] We need.

[2329] We're desensitized to regular conversation.

[2330] I think we have a certain like threshold of adrenaline we need or something.

[2331] When I get around comedy, it took me so long to delineate the difference between like how to act around comics and how to act around human beings.

[2332] And I also think like part of the reason I'm a little manic when I first see a comic.

[2333] It's like a puppy seeing a puppy seeing it.

[2334] owner I'm just like and then I just get so excited that I get to be like bitch can fuck like I get to be deviant yeah and you get to be free because I feel like I spend all day just be more don't say that don't say that don't say that yeah well it's our culture the culture of of comedy stand -up comedy it's very unusual yeah like the community it's one of the reasons why I'm very protective of that community and it's one of the things that I thought was the you know it's one of the things I've said about this whole Louis CK thing I'm like he did it one of us.

[2335] He did it to us.

[2336] It wasn't, not that he should do it to anybody.

[2337] Yeah.

[2338] It doesn't want him to jerk off in front of them.

[2339] Yeah.

[2340] But I don't think writers or interns on a writing staff are the same as stand -ups.

[2341] Oh, he did that too, right?

[2342] Yeah.

[2343] It's like stand -ups is one thing.

[2344] He just had a thing.

[2345] He just had a thing.

[2346] You like to beat off in front of people.

[2347] Pick on someone your own size.

[2348] You know what I mean?

[2349] Come jerk off in front of me. You know what I mean?

[2350] Now as a 35 -year -old woman.

[2351] I would love to see that.

[2352] Apparently he did do that to some comedians and they laughed and they thought it was funny.

[2353] Yeah.

[2354] Yeah.

[2355] Yeah.

[2356] Oh, God.

[2357] I've seen so many dicks.

[2358] Well, there's some women that he did that too.

[2359] They didn't come out and they thought it was funny.

[2360] But there's a difference being like, oh my God, what are you doing?

[2361] And like, stop, please.

[2362] And I could lose my job if I challenge you, you know?

[2363] Right.

[2364] There'll be nobody's doing that now, right?

[2365] No one's beaten off in front of anybody anymore.

[2366] I think that's over?

[2367] Most likely.

[2368] There's still people scared to talk, right?

[2369] I guess I just am curious what the, what the neurology is of being able to get an erection when a girl's going, stop.

[2370] The worst is if they didn't get an erection, it's like three quarters hard.

[2371] But if that's your thing, if a woman, like, is that like being humiliated as an aphrodisiac or shame?

[2372] I think it's driven by shame, yeah?

[2373] There's a lot of weird shit to that for sure.

[2374] I don't know.

[2375] I don't know.

[2376] Because there's nowhere to go.

[2377] Like, I was reading this thing about pedophiles and, like, I'm not supportive of pedophiles.

[2378] But, like, if you are a pedophile and you have horrible thoughts, there's nowhere where you can go, unless you can afford therapy, where you You can say, hey, I have some really fucked up thoughts and I want to fuck a kid.

[2379] And because shame is the engine of pedophilia and you have nowhere to go.

[2380] Or if you do go somewhere, people are going to go, ew, you're disgusting.

[2381] And they have nowhere to quell that shame and stop the cycle, right?

[2382] And then if you act on it, then you have more shame and then it just makes it worse.

[2383] And most pedophiles were molested.

[2384] Right?

[2385] So it's just this fucked up cycle and there's no socially acceptable place to go express that the way in AA you can go, hey, I want to drink or I want to do drugs or whatever.

[2386] there's no like place for them to go yeah and it's also because it's your your thing is victimizing children like there's zero tolerance for that anywhere and people want to kill you yeah they literally think you should be killed but there should be a place like a a or somewhere where you go to go like but how would we know if it even works that's the problem like you know what works bullets bullets in your head bullets in your head work correct yeah I mean someone's a kid how do you feel about the fact that if you are a pedophile, that means someone molested you.

[2387] And you were a victim at some point.

[2388] No, it's horrible.

[2389] Because victims become perpetrator.

[2390] So it's like, how do you break that cycle without just constantly shaming people?

[2391] Because then you shame them into isolation.

[2392] And isolation is where shame thrives.

[2393] Maybe one day we'll have some sort of a form of therapy that can literally erase inclinations, that can erase desires.

[2394] That fucking takes out.

[2395] Well, that's what they were trying to do, right?

[2396] When they were like a lobotomy?

[2397] Yeah.

[2398] Bring those back.

[2399] Oof, I don't think that works.

[2400] Like, whatever you have to do.

[2401] They just went in there with a drill and fucking...

[2402] But it's like, because when you see, I mean, I was reading about the dark web, is the deep web or the dark web?

[2403] I'm a hundred years old.

[2404] But like, 90 % of it is child pornography.

[2405] Yeah.

[2406] And you're just like, there's so many, like, what the fuck?

[2407] It makes me homicidal.

[2408] Did you see that hero cop?

[2409] This guy was like a hero cop, got his arm blown off and he was like being...

[2410] And then they just caught him with child porn.

[2411] Like, oh, fuck.

[2412] No, they're like, oh, you're a piece of shit.

[2413] That fucking, the Vegas shooter apparently had a bunch of child porn.

[2414] Not surprised.

[2415] Yeah, you know, so it's like, but like to stop that cycle is just, so it's like the same, the idea of like jerking off in someone in being turned on by them being scared, being sexually aroused by a woman being scared.

[2416] There's something fucking going on there.

[2417] And I don't know if it's nature, if it's nurture, if it's fucking Viking shit.

[2418] The pedophile thing is also, it's such a forbidden topic that no one even wants to express any sort of sympathy for those people at all.

[2419] be thought of as a pedophilia sympathizer.

[2420] Correct.

[2421] That's almost like a thing that you can't fix.

[2422] Like the recidivism rate is so high.

[2423] But if there's a way to, if it's technically an addiction, I mean, I think it's probably a mental illness or if some sort of trauma therapy, because those people are traumatized, right?

[2424] Right, but if you're addicted to cigarettes and you go through therapy and you kick them and then you get back on the cigarettes 10 years later, I don't care.

[2425] But if you're addicted to fucking kids and then you live and then another kid, you're, kid gets fucked because you couldn't keep it together anymore.

[2426] Yeah.

[2427] I'm not willing to take that risk.

[2428] And that's, that becomes a real problem, especially someone who has young children, that freaks me the fuck out.

[2429] And I like most fathers who are hearing my voice thinking about this right now, I want to murder.

[2430] Yeah.

[2431] I just want to take that person out of the food chain.

[2432] And that's, you don't want to take that risk.

[2433] And I guess the one thing I would say is like people, you know, have a lot of sympathy for children who are molested or victims and pedophiles until they grow, up you know like a lot of women who were victims of that end up manifesting as the women who can't say no or the women who are like you know traumatized and and freeze up and stuff like that but those women are hypersexual that's the other thing porn stars a lot of women that get involved in the adult industry were molested as children like a giant percentage they're not what I say it's all of them I don't want to say it's all of them because I know there's a lot of women that do it just because they enjoy it and that's totally cool but there were a lot there was there was some survey they did once back in the day.

[2434] And it was some alarming number.

[2435] And those are just the ones that admit it.

[2436] Right.

[2437] A lot of people can never come to terms with that.

[2438] I was talking to a therapist who was saying something about plastics.

[2439] A lot of people that get crazy plastic surgery do it because they were molested and they're trying to change their face.

[2440] So when they look in the mirror, it's not the person that got molested.

[2441] That's what they thought about Michael Jackson.

[2442] Really?

[2443] Yeah.

[2444] That was one of the big theories about Michael Jackson.

[2445] His father abused him.

[2446] Yeah.

[2447] You know my theory about Michael Jackson?

[2448] Tell me. People are going to, don't say it again.

[2449] Tell me everything.

[2450] I think he's a castrato.

[2451] I think he had his balls removed.

[2452] I think that's why his voice was so high.

[2453] That was a common thing they used to do with singers.

[2454] Really?

[2455] Yeah.

[2456] You ever heard of castrato music?

[2457] But is that shit?

[2458] I'm going to teach Whitney coming something.

[2459] They used to do that with opera singers.

[2460] You know so much more than I do.

[2461] No, I don't.

[2462] You know a lot of shit.

[2463] I know.

[2464] No, I'm not to eat cookies while we're doing a podcast.

[2465] Sorry, because I'm my blood sugar.

[2466] I'm not in contours.

[2467] There's no sugar in those.

[2468] I'm not in ketosis.

[2469] No wonder I'm so hungry.

[2470] Yeah, there's very little.

[2471] Those are no cookies.

[2472] They have very little sugar.

[2473] And the glycemic index on those is extremely low.

[2474] How do you not get hungry?

[2475] I don't understand it.

[2476] Because my body burns fat.

[2477] I eat very little carbohydrates.

[2478] Like this morning, I ate eggs and fat beef.

[2479] So you never have like sugar spikes or sugar dips because you don't need sugar.

[2480] I don't have any spikes.

[2481] No, I'm eating fat most of the time.

[2482] I'm eating fat and meat.

[2483] That's what I eat mostly.

[2484] Oh, God, I need to just regroup here.

[2485] I need to start from trash.

[2486] It's way healthier.

[2487] It's way better cognitively.

[2488] This is what the, the, I don't get mentally tired this way.

[2489] I take four naps today, Joe.

[2490] I don't take any naps.

[2491] I'm always so fucking tired.

[2492] Well, I'm on beta blockers too.

[2493] I think that's a whole other thing.

[2494] You're on beta blockers?

[2495] I take beta blockers.

[2496] Why are you on beta blockers?

[2497] I get really bad migraines and it's hormonal, but I think I figured that out.

[2498] But beta blockers are supposed to keep you from getting nervous.

[2499] Yeah, it stops like adrenaline, I think, from what I've understood.

[2500] Yeah, I know a lot of archers use that.

[2501] Yeah.

[2502] To actually test for it.

[2503] Because when you're on the, like, archery competitions and the nerves will make you shake you.

[2504] So I produce a lot of adrenaline and cortisol at the tiniest things because I'm a fucking trauma source.

[2505] Do you need a goddamn hug, woman?

[2506] Don't.

[2507] Every time I'm around you, I want to hug you.

[2508] I'm a fucking spaz.

[2509] And so I was getting really bad migraines because of my neurochemical spikes.

[2510] I would get too much adrenaline and too much cortisol when I get nervous.

[2511] So I take two beta blockers a day.

[2512] I'm a catch.

[2513] Jesus.

[2514] If you had your ball.

[2515] cut off today would the octaves of your vice go the way you're developing they do it to a boy when they're very young there's actually recordings of castratos from like the early 1900s see if you can get that what surgeon does that surgery got us pulled off youtube before about oh did it i'll pull it from there so oh really because it's like um child pornography no no no because it's uh because the recording it gets flagged by youtube as being their proprietary or their property their property and so So anything that you use that someone else's stuff can get you pulled off of YouTube.

[2516] You know, like there's a shitload of people out there that have like these nature videos.

[2517] There's a big one.

[2518] Yeah.

[2519] It gets us pulled all the time.

[2520] Really?

[2521] Yeah, people that own things.

[2522] Can you pay for it, like the way you would license something?

[2523] You could do something like that or you could give them your ad revenue, but you would have to give them like all the ad revenue from a show.

[2524] That's insane.

[2525] It's insane.

[2526] So like if we played a clip from the office and we played it and you could see it on the show, we would totally get flagged and pulled off the movie.

[2527] Yeah.

[2528] And if it happens more than one time, you can lose your whole channel.

[2529] That's insane.

[2530] Yeah.

[2531] You could argue it that it's fair use, but you don't have a license to do it.

[2532] And if you're making money off of it, it might not be considered fair use.

[2533] So listen to this sound.

[2534] What this sound is that we're hearing.

[2535] And Jamie, what is the name of this?

[2536] This is a young man who had his balls removed.

[2537] And one of the things that happens to them is they get older.

[2538] They never really develop masculine traits.

[2539] This guy got fat.

[2540] Because he had no testosterone.

[2541] Yeah, no testosterone.

[2542] There's no balls.

[2543] And so they have this haunting, high -pitched, almost female, but not quite sound.

[2544] And it was a preferred sound.

[2545] So much so that they would take children and sell them off and they would get their balls cut off at a young age.

[2546] So they would develop to be castratos.

[2547] I can't handle things like this.

[2548] Yeah.

[2549] This is my thought about Michael Jackson.

[2550] I think Michael Jackson's voice was so high.

[2551] It was so high -pitched, and, like, his falsetto was so pure.

[2552] I really, I mean, no one's going to know.

[2553] I mean, there's no way to know, but I'm a retard, and I have my own thoughts.

[2554] These are my thoughts.

[2555] But if I'm the surgeon who did that surgery, after he dies, why aren't I coming forward and getting $5 million for this story?

[2556] Because that surgeon's going to go to fucking jail.

[2557] You do that shit in America?

[2558] 100%.

[2559] You just took a kid and cut his balls off.

[2560] You can't do that.

[2561] It might not even be real.

[2562] I might just be a stupid person.

[2563] a dumb idea, which is more likely.

[2564] I don't know.

[2565] I think it's a pretty good explanation.

[2566] It's weird, right?

[2567] He had other brothers that didn't sound like that.

[2568] They didn't sound anything like that.

[2569] You hear Jermaine Jackson saying he sounds like a man. Michael Jackson never sounded like a man. Doesn't add up.

[2570] Yeah, it was all weird.

[2571] It's fishy.

[2572] Well, it's also the abuse that he suffered as a child and his incredible connection to children, this bizarre connection.

[2573] Well, because when you're traumatized, you get stunted, yeah?

[2574] What, Jamie?

[2575] The doctor that killed him or was in jail for killing him, wrote in a book that his parents had him chemically castrated.

[2576] Whoa.

[2577] Oh, like taking his...

[2578] For real?

[2579] I mean, it's what he wrote in a book.

[2580] I'm reading on some New Zealand news I don't know how accurate...

[2581] Well, they do that.

[2582] They've done that to child molesters.

[2583] They do that to child molesters.

[2584] They give him them the option.

[2585] Oh, so that you don't...

[2586] Michael Jackson, chemically castrated by parents claims doctor.

[2587] Dude, this is my fucking theory.

[2588] God damn it, I'm right.

[2589] I bet I'm right.

[2590] I bet I'm right.

[2591] Well, also his children weren't his children, right?

[2592] He's a heterosexual man, but heinous things happened to Michael in his lifetime that actually changed or had him morph into who he thought he was.

[2593] One of those things, according to Murray, was his parents arranging for his chemical castration.

[2594] His testes were never removed, but injections were given to Michael Jackson to maintain his voice, his high -pitched voice of a child that went long beyond puberty.

[2595] He places much of the blame for Jackson's extraordinary but difficult life at the feet of his family.

[2596] I fucking knew it.

[2597] So let me ask you, is this something that stops testosterone production?

[2598] Like what's given to kids who are transitioning and that sort of thing?

[2599] You're done.

[2600] Wow.

[2601] That's why he was so skinny.

[2602] And how long ago was that?

[2603] I thought that was a more recent thing.

[2604] They did that to him as a child to maintain his voice.

[2605] But then why did he grow so tall?

[2606] Can you still grow?

[2607] Yeah, if you still grow, women are tall.

[2608] You're tall.

[2609] You're tall.

[2610] You're tall than me. A lot of GMOs.

[2611] That's why?

[2612] No, it's just different genes.

[2613] It doesn't stop you from growing tall.

[2614] It stops your muscles from developing.

[2615] Oh.

[2616] And then what does that have to do with the vocal cords?

[2617] Because something about your vocal cords.

[2618] Testosterone changes your voice.

[2619] That's why when a woman turns into a transgender man. And their voice becomes a different thing.

[2620] Right.

[2621] Is that legal?

[2622] No. It's not legal of a chemically castrated boy.

[2623] It's expensive, though.

[2624] It's fucking crazy.

[2625] Because that's the, we talked about this in Roseanne.

[2626] This doctor's right.

[2627] If that doctor's right, and I bet he is right.

[2628] If you wrote about this, I bet he's right.

[2629] He self -published it too.

[2630] What does that mean?

[2631] No one would give him a book deal?

[2632] What the fuck's going to give a book deal to the guy who killed Michael Jackson?

[2633] It's a bad idea.

[2634] Well, someone gave a book deal to that Milo.

[2635] No, they did.

[2636] And they took it away.

[2637] Oh, did they get the book deal.

[2638] Yeah, he lost it.

[2639] He lost his book deal when the thing came out about him thinking that it's okay for young boys to have sex with gay men.

[2640] Not great.

[2641] Not a great brand.

[2642] The gay community has a different take on that.

[2643] Really?

[2644] Yeah, they have a different take on it than the straight community.

[2645] The idea of young gay boys having sex with gay men, it doesn't bother them in the same way with a lot.

[2646] Obviously, I'm not speaking for the gay community and I don't want to generalize.

[2647] But the reactions that I've had from gay friends that talk about it say it's way more common.

[2648] huh well that was the brian singer thing that brian singer had those parties at his house where he had a whole pool full of fucking gay kids and Morrissey also defended Kevin Spacey about it and I was like it's different yeah exactly how young like how do you know if you're 17 and like we were just talking about the power dynamic how do you even know you're trying to figure out who you are you're looking for a father figure are you abused yourself it's like we just we don't know until they grow up and figure it out in therapy if it was really consensual yeah I mean it's weird that we put this arbitrary date too like 18 Right.

[2649] It's so arbitrary.

[2650] Well, you can go to war now.

[2651] You're 18.

[2652] Like, what?

[2653] I figured out of 32 who I was.

[2654] Well, when when she should be allowed to vote?

[2655] I say 50.

[2656] I say.

[2657] That's really, yeah, I mean, it's so injured.

[2658] It's like, I mean, you know.

[2659] When should you be allowed to drive?

[2660] I drove like a maniac when I was young.

[2661] I just never should have had a car until I was like 25 years old.

[2662] When should you be able to drink?

[2663] When should you be able to drink?

[2664] If at all.

[2665] If at all.

[2666] Yeah.

[2667] It's a good question.

[2668] It's terrifying.

[2669] And when should you be able to have kids?

[2670] kids that's a good question too because you only can do it for a certain amount of time that's right and by the time you can't do it anymore that's when you finally know what you're doing yeah i feel like i'm 35 years old i finally am qualified to be a mother and this is when you stop being physically capable and then nuts like you have a couple more years we can still shoot one out i have my shits on ice so i think i might have i might have more time but you have to find someone that you would really raise a kid with yeah it's a very different i have to find the perfect nanny yeah it's hard to do no i have a guy that i think is is pretty a plus and if it's he's not i'll just give the child to you well you seem to be doing a pretty good job i'll raise them raise them in the forest yeah i mean and then you it's just like that's a very real fear i'm finally for the first time like oh god i have to get my shit together on that but then i get super scared about this world i'm like do i want to bring kids into this world yeah i have a bit about that too oh yeah i wouldn't want to have kids today yeah why would you with all the books and medicine and shit people are shitting kids out I think it's more like, are we going to have water in 20 years?

[2671] Yeah, we'll have water.

[2672] Yeah, we're going to figure this out.

[2673] We're going to be drinking salt water.

[2674] We're panicking, we're freaking out, but that's also why we correct things.

[2675] I think the technology, ingenuity, and I also think, as ironically as it seems, a guy like Donald Trump as president is going to really activate people.

[2676] They're going to start moving in, look like this fucking women's march thing.

[2677] You're right.

[2678] A big part of that is having to grab the pussy president.

[2679] It had to get this bad in order for us to wake the fuck up because we were all zombie sleepwalkers.

[2680] He's the reason why those pussy hats, that, by the way, whoever's making a windfall off those goddamn pussy hats, they should be thanking Donald.

[2681] There were people down there selling them.

[2682] No one knows how to make pussy hats like me. What if he's behind the selling of them?

[2683] Yeah, no, it was amazing to see all the commercialization of it and everybody capitalized.

[2684] And also, I think it's going to make us much more appreciative of the environmental protection agency.

[2685] Yeah.

[2686] And then all the restrictions that Obama put in offshore drilling.

[2687] If anything goes wrong, because he's just opened up offshore drilling everywhere.

[2688] You know that, right?

[2689] Yeah.

[2690] Do you know what he's done?

[2691] Yes.

[2692] I mean, I've heard that.

[2693] He's done a lot of really crazy things with the environment.

[2694] Makes me angry.

[2695] With, you know, whether it's Bureau of Land Management areas or I don't know which organization, there's definitely state land that was public land that's now being diminished, state parks, they're now being diminished, and they're opening them up for mining.

[2696] They're opening them up for extraction of minerals and resources.

[2697] Yeah.

[2698] And all this is close to rivers and watersheds and all these different areas that are very important for different ecosystems.

[2699] Fault lines.

[2700] Terrifying, terrifying stuff in terms of the future.

[2701] Delaware.

[2702] Well, there's earthquakes in Oklahoma all the time now that never used to happen, and all that's directly attributed to fracking.

[2703] They're drilling these giant holes in the ground and pumping all this water in there and fluids and all this shit that they use for fracking it's it's gonna energize people and get people to understand that there's real consequences to just thinking about money and also how ridiculous it is that a guy who has more money than he could ever fucking possibly spend is only thinking about money in his mind he's thinking about America he's thinking about people prospering and getting jobs and this and that but clearly it's not just that it's clearly there's some personal profit that's being extracted from all this.

[2704] Of course.

[2705] Oh, yeah.

[2706] It's like his people.

[2707] He's hiring him.

[2708] And look, and I love Oprah.

[2709] She's a delight.

[2710] But for the left to go like, let's have Oprah be president.

[2711] How about NBC's Twitter page?

[2712] This is our president.

[2713] No. Our president.

[2714] No, no, no. Let's hire another celebrity who isn't qualified to be the president.

[2715] Oprah, I just want to tell everybody.

[2716] Do you guys remember the secret?

[2717] Remember the fucking secret.

[2718] Yes.

[2719] Go back when Oprah was telling everybody, you could have anything you want.

[2720] You just got to imagine it.

[2721] Like, like, what the fuck are we watching here?

[2722] It's just, it's not great to also be like, let's have this other celebrity be president.

[2723] She's a wonderful lady.

[2724] Wonderful.

[2725] I don't have any problem with Oprah, but I just think what we should have is someone who is extremely educated, who is incredibly nuanced and well -thought -out opinions on things.

[2726] And someone who's got a really good grasp of what it takes to run a democracy.

[2727] Let's stop electing rich celebrity.

[2728] to run our country.

[2729] We tried it.

[2730] Didn't work.

[2731] Didn't work out so well.

[2732] Well, you know, maybe it worked out if you're an oil man. You know, maybe it worked out if you're in the mining industry.

[2733] And then it's like just tricky.

[2734] It's like the idea of being like, I don't think Oprah should be our next president.

[2735] It's like, well, you're sexist.

[2736] It's like, Jesus fucking Christ, you're racist.

[2737] No, I'm not.

[2738] It's like we should be able to say we don't think certain people are qualified.

[2739] Stop yelling at me. Do you read your comments on Instagram?

[2740] Should I just stop?

[2741] No. You never do.

[2742] No. Very, very rarely.

[2743] Sometimes I'll look in and I'll see someone that's a dick, and I'll just block them.

[2744] It's like, what?

[2745] Because I try to, like, engage and, like, try to, like, see what's going on, but the kind of shit, it's just too insane.

[2746] It's not worth it.

[2747] You just put out good things.

[2748] Try to be nice.

[2749] And is that a crazy person, or is that a person that masquerades is being sane, and then behind closed doors is crazy?

[2750] Could be both.

[2751] Mixed both.

[2752] Could be both.

[2753] Did you ever hear about that guy that got fired from Reddit, and he was saying awful shit on Reddit and posting all these terrible things?

[2754] And they found out his personal identity.

[2755] And they went after him and then got him fired.

[2756] from his job and it devastated his life.

[2757] I think I was married with kids.

[2758] The whole thing his life completely fell apart.

[2759] Yeah.

[2760] People enjoy being a cunt anonymously.

[2761] They enjoy it.

[2762] One of the things that I found on Instagram, if someone says something really particularly heinous, you go to their page, they're almost always private.

[2763] They almost always have, like, a blocked page because they're cowards.

[2764] There's just a lot of, like, very deeply unhappy people that will lash out at anybody that's in the public spotlight, like you.

[2765] I miss you a crazy, a woman.

[2766] Crazy question.

[2767] Okay.

[2768] If a man, this happened to someone I know, if a man is engaging with relationships with other women on the internet, as a character, is it cheating?

[2769] No, it's just, he's picking, he's having a character.

[2770] Role play?

[2771] Yeah.

[2772] I'm, well, is he an artist?

[2773] Is he a writer?

[2774] No, no, like in a, you know, just sort of pretty adrenaline -free job.

[2775] Yeah, he's probably fucking completely bored out of his mind and it gives him a charge.

[2776] Is it like a video game?

[2777] Because I was like, this feels kind of like a video game.

[2778] In a little bit of a way it is.

[2779] It's role playing.

[2780] You know, it's like a simulation, right?

[2781] In a little bit of a way, it's just being deceptive.

[2782] Right.

[2783] Maybe it's fantasy.

[2784] Right.

[2785] He wishes he was someone different.

[2786] Mm -hmm.

[2787] Yeah.

[2788] Like, is that, if your wife is online as a different person, engaging with men.

[2789] Sending pictures of her own pussy.

[2790] Ugh.

[2791] That's when it gets weird.

[2792] Dicey.

[2793] Right.

[2794] Pussy flying through the air.

[2795] Literally.

[2796] You know who's here?

[2797] This is what's going to win.

[2798] Flashlights.

[2799] I wonder if the sale of fleshlights is going to go up.

[2800] Robots.

[2801] That's what's going to win.

[2802] Sex robots.

[2803] Totally agree.

[2804] They're closing in.

[2805] But to your point about the problem, do you think that that also works the muscle of dehumanizing?

[2806] Yes.

[2807] Yeah.

[2808] And also changes your reward system.

[2809] Instead of like learning to be an interesting, charismatic person who's caring and kind and reaping the rewards of real relationships with people that care about you and you care about them and understanding.

[2810] real true love instead of that you're fucking this robot i cannot like is it cheating if he fucks a robot like i can't have that fight i can't i can't do it did you fuck the robot or not i can't have that fight i can't do this what do you do you know what do we did you fuck the rob tell me the truth look me the eye and tell me you didn't fuck Siri i can't is a robot bad but a fleshlight okay yeah because there's no head like that if there's eyeballs it gets very dice Weird fake robot eyeballs Skinnier than me Is she prettier than me?

[2811] I just want to make sure the robots have wrinkles A couple crows feet Giant anime eyes Yes I don't want them being too We got to make sure these robots They faint We got it they giggle They laugh at your bad jokes We have to make sure these robots aren't too pretty They got to be ugly It's not going to happen They're going to be hot as fuck They're going to be perfect I don't like this one bit You posted that thing of that robot jumping Do you fucking see that?

[2812] Crazy to that.

[2813] There's so many of them.

[2814] Could you ever see that episode of Black Mirror?

[2815] Called Metalhead?

[2816] The new one?

[2817] Is that what it's called?

[2818] I haven't seen the new one.

[2819] Oh my God.

[2820] The new season of Black Mirror is fucking insane.

[2821] And one of the episodes has a bunch of robots that are going after people and it's called Metalhead.

[2822] I don't want to say anymore.

[2823] It's terrifying because it's very realistic, incredibly realistic and probably represent something that's going to exist in the future.

[2824] Or maybe it's going to go the other way.

[2825] I'm going to be like, baby, can you just fuck the robots?

[2826] tonight.

[2827] I'm tired.

[2828] That's when you know it's over.

[2829] I just ate too much.

[2830] Send him over to the robot because you've got lasagna and you're showing.

[2831] Please don't.

[2832] Don't impel my lasagna.

[2833] Maybe you'll allow him to fuck robots, but the robot has to look exactly like you.

[2834] You have a spare.

[2835] The problem is that we'd get the robot.

[2836] We'd order it.

[2837] It would come in and be like, is that what I look like?

[2838] I have too dysmorphic.

[2839] And you'd put your hand up and just like a mirror.

[2840] It would put its hand up and you'd both like move perfectly in sync.

[2841] It would have to age with me. though.

[2842] It would have to age.

[2843] It would have to get older.

[2844] When I get older, it'd have to get wrinkles and gray hairs and shit.

[2845] You take it outside and drag it through the dirt.

[2846] Of course, they're all Asian.

[2847] Did you see the women, Grace Wu at the march?

[2848] Hello.

[2849] Hello.

[2850] Oh, is that a dick?

[2851] I've never seen one.

[2852] I'm getting lightheaded.

[2853] I can't do it.

[2854] No, I didn't see a woman at the march.

[2855] There was one actress named Grace Wu who talked about sort of the fetus.

[2856] Fetization.

[2857] Yep.

[2858] Of Asian women.

[2859] Asian women.

[2860] Well, get over it, bitch She's bragging That's what she's doing She's bragging Oh, everybody just wants to fuck And I'm so tired That's my thing of fucking free the nipple I'm like only girls with great tits Want to free the nipple Now you're just bragging Yeah, no women in their 40s Are like, let's free the nipple It's all like hot chicks You know I see what they're doing Yeah, I don't want to free the nipple Whitney Cummings, let's wrap this up When's your movie out When's your movie out?

[2861] It's out February 9th The Female Brain It's about all of this shit Yeah Yeah, it's about all of this sort of stuff.

[2862] Where would it be?

[2863] It's going to be in movie theaters, and then it's going to be in VOD.

[2864] It's like got Blake Griffin, Will Sassau is in it.

[2865] Yeah, Neil Brennan is in it.

[2866] Will Sassel's hilarious.

[2867] Hilarious.

[2868] He's like steals the movie.

[2869] He has a scene with Blake Griffin where he plays his physical therapist, and it's fucking hysterical.

[2870] I could not cut it.

[2871] It's really great.

[2872] Whitney Cummings, ladies and gentlemen.

[2873] Give her a big e -hug.

[2874] Oh God.