#495 - Ian Edwards

[0] The Joe Rogan experience.

[1] Train by day, Joe Rogan, podcast by night, all day.

[2] Yeah, powerfully, Ian.

[3] What's up, buddy?

[4] How are you, man?

[5] Good to see you.

[6] Good to see you, too.

[7] Always good to have you on, man. You know, I told you the story.

[8] Yeah, you told me the story.

[9] It's mind -boggling.

[10] It's bananas.

[11] So I guess I kind of repeat it and then we...

[12] Well, yeah, please do.

[13] People need to hear this.

[14] This is odd.

[15] All right, so I'm in the middle of...

[16] selling my house.

[17] I had an escrow, and they told me to move out in 45 days.

[18] The 45th day is today, Monday.

[19] So I moved the entire weekend.

[20] And as I pull up and get out the car to come into the studio, I get a phone call from the real estate agent telling me that the loan for the buyer didn't go through.

[21] So I'm moved out.

[22] My stuff is in storage.

[23] I gave half of the way to this Mexican church across the street from me and I got shit all over the place I don't have an address Oh my goodness You know I'm supposed to be staying on a friend's couch Oh my goodness I'm just I'm just all over the place right now And I'm coming in here You know to have some fun and do the show And Chase shut it down Oh The reason why they shut it down though It's fascinating Okay so they stopped the the buyer's loan because they don't like the buyer's answer for where their funds that they're having their account came from.

[24] Like, the buyer has enough money to back the loan, but they don't, they think it's fishy.

[25] They don't like where the money's come.

[26] The answers are where the money's from.

[27] So they say, we're not going to sign off on this loan because we don't like your money.

[28] But you know what sometimes people do, apparently, is they'll get family.

[29] members to deposit money in account to make the account look really big and then they go for a loan they check the account and they go oh there's all this money in there but they just move it out right as soon as it gets it like the only reason why it's in there is to make the loan like they're going to give them a little piece of the action to make the loan go through that can get tricky you know apparently yeah I guess you have to show how much you make I mean if you make a hundred thousand dollars a year but you got 50 million dollars in the bank they're going to go hmm the fuck's going on dude hey saving my money No, that doesn't seem to make sense, man. Chase has been in the news a lot lately for knocking down a lot of anything adult entertainment, like even shutting down a condom store that just sold condoms online because it had something to do with the adult industry.

[30] That's incredible.

[31] Yeah.

[32] It's incredible that a condom thing, like birth control is dirty?

[33] Like, are we pretending we don't fuck?

[34] Is that what's going on here?

[35] Are we pretending we don't have sex?

[36] We pretend we don't like to fuck?

[37] If somebody doesn't like to fuck, I don't.

[38] want to talk to you all right you're a weirdo fucking is half of what people love to do in life they shut down a condom store yeah chase banks said they're going to do business with me because i run a condom company very few people enter into relationships men and women not wanting to ever fuck it's always a part of the thing that they want to do like the happiest most in love people like still like to have sex with each other right there's nothing wrong with condoms the idea that there's something wrong with birth control is saying that there's something wrong always with sex it's so stupid oh does chase want there to be more people so they can turn down loans to is that is that what they're doing they want people have more kids and they say no you can't get this loan dude you're a bit about what's not I want to give it away because if you you got to see Ian live like for folks who don't know I think you get slept on man I really do I think you're one of the best comics in the world appreciate that and and I've knowing that for a long time, man. You've always been really fucking funny.

[39] You know, I think you're starting to pick up steam right now.

[40] It's awesome to see.

[41] But that bit you have on bankers, dude.

[42] I don't want to say anything about the big, because I want people to go see it.

[43] I fucking love that bit.

[44] God damn, that's a good bit.

[45] I'm going to be doing it with extra venom.

[46] When you see me I know, man. It's going to be really emotional next time I do it.

[47] Are you around Wednesday night?

[48] something's going on what is wednesday oh i was going to go to the store for gerard's thing what is it uh he's taping his hbo album this HBO special gerard south oh okay what time is that probably probably at nightish at nightish yeah like eightish yeah what time you get i'm gonna do it at 10 yeah i haven't even i haven't even booked it yet how about that you can roll like that though yeah all you got to do is get on it that's a that's the beauty of Twitter and all that.

[49] You're just like, bam, just put out a tweet, bam, it's on.

[50] Well, it's also that I get guys like Ian Edwards to come and do the show.

[51] Well, you know.

[52] Diaz is going to be on, too.

[53] Oh, Diaz?

[54] Yeah.

[55] Yeah, we're going to have a great time at Santa Barbara.

[56] God damn, Santa Barbara is awesome.

[57] You ever go up there?

[58] Yeah, I've been over there.

[59] It's like, I don't want people to know about it.

[60] I feel like I don't like to talk about it.

[61] I don't like to talk about Santa Barbara on a podcast.

[62] So I don't want people to hear about it.

[63] I don't want them to hear about it.

[64] I fucked up.

[65] I should have shut my mouth.

[66] That's hilarious.

[67] I really should have shut my mouth.

[68] That place is sweet.

[69] There's only like 100 ,000 so people up there.

[70] It's great.

[71] They're all real cool, friendly people.

[72] There's no fucking traffic.

[73] There's some on the highway.

[74] You get off the highway.

[75] Five o 'clock, everybody's just driving around like normal.

[76] And you go, oh, wait a minute.

[77] This is possible.

[78] You could live somewhere where you could just get somewhere at five o 'clock.

[79] You don't have to.

[80] I was talking to this lady at this doctor's office.

[81] She told me that she lives in Hollywood and she works in Santa Monica.

[82] and sometimes when she leaves at night it takes her an hour and 45 minutes to get home.

[83] That's believable.

[84] I actually think she's lying and it takes a longer.

[85] That's insane.

[86] That's fucking insane.

[87] That's insane.

[88] And you go to, you ever go to like Big Sur?

[89] You ever been in a place like that?

[90] It's up the northern coast?

[91] Heard of it, but I've never been up there.

[92] A lot of writers, like Hunterst Thompson lived there.

[93] Henry Miller lived there.

[94] A lot of writers go there because it's so, stunning that they just it's kind of a little bit dower like the air is wet and it gets fucking cold you know sometimes because it's a lot of like wind and shit from the the waves and yeah there's a lot of moisture but and it's northern California but god damn it's fucking beautiful and it helps them right yeah but you go to a place like that where there's not as many people as LA and you realize you could just get anywhere right you start thinking like what am I doing like what is the what's the point living in this cramped spot Is it because there's a lot of my friends here?

[95] Why do people choose to do this?

[96] I'm trying to think of somewhere I went to do a show.

[97] It's kind of in wine country.

[98] Oh, like Sonoma, like up there?

[99] Something like that.

[100] This is this little town.

[101] What's that place that you go to?

[102] Solvang.

[103] That's awesome.

[104] It's like east of Santa Barbara.

[105] It just looks like if Disney made a town in the middle of nowhere, like small little wooden, like windmills everywhere.

[106] There's ostrich farms.

[107] There's this ostrich farms.

[108] And there's tons of wineries.

[109] You just get drunk and hang out in this creepy, little town.

[110] Brian had to turn it into Brian.

[111] Well, that's what it is, man. Everybody those are wine tasting things.

[112] No, no, no, no. We're gentlemen.

[113] We're not here getting fucked up.

[114] They're just fancy drunks.

[115] We're gentlemen.

[116] Oh, yeah, they trick you into becoming drunks.

[117] They even sell it to, like, by like these big two liters and these huge things when you go to the winery.

[118] It's cheaper.

[119] They want you be a pig.

[120] Did you see that shit about Jim Cook?

[121] You know, Jim Cook, the guy who makes Sam Adams?

[122] No. He was expressing how you can eat brewer's yeast and it keeps you from getting drunk.

[123] Like, yeah, pull it up, pull it up, man. Jim Cook explains how to drink beer all night and not get drunk.

[124] It's really kind of fascinating, man. Like, he figured out some sort of biochemical process that you could sort of create in your body and helps your body process alcohol better.

[125] It's interesting because I'm very yeasty.

[126] It's been proven by many doctors and stuff like that.

[127] So that might be why I can drink so much.

[128] It's been proven.

[129] It's been proven that I'm very yeasty.

[130] Here's the studies.

[131] He brings over, fucking things from, look at this.

[132] Sam Adams founder, Jim Coke, I think it's Coke, says a spoonful of yeast makes him less drunk.

[133] Jim Cook.

[134] Cook?

[135] Yeah.

[136] Is it cook?

[137] Yeah.

[138] Why don't spell it cook?

[139] Why make me work so hard?

[140] We can't change it.

[141] Change little symbols to what we all, mutually agree upon looks like coke yeah let's change it like we you know they change literally yeah they'll change that too coke that's not coke or it is coke it's not cook I don't care what your parents call it spelling it wrong dude I spelled like the coke brothers right yeah yeah yeah right yeah yeah coke how does you know the coke brothers they live in that building it's spelled the same way is that right yeah yeah so how come it could be two different things isn't that cook the cook brothers the coke The Coke.

[142] Those rich guys?

[143] Billionaires.

[144] And it's K -O -C -H?

[145] I think so.

[146] You can look it up.

[147] I don't know.

[148] I don't even know why people argue anymore.

[149] Like, people are still having arguments like Google doesn't exist.

[150] Right, right, right.

[151] When somebody asks me a question and we saw going back, let's just Google it.

[152] Yeah.

[153] I've been humbled by Google many times.

[154] It forces you to recognize, like, what are we doing when we argue sometimes about being right or wrong?

[155] It's so stupid.

[156] So, like, if you know something, I'm not.

[157] I don't know it, why should I care?

[158] You know, why does anybody care?

[159] Yeah.

[160] And if you, if somebody asks you something, you don't know the answer, why would you bullshit?

[161] It's a greater tendency to do, to bullshit.

[162] Like, there's something else going on.

[163] It's Eagle.

[164] Yeah.

[165] It's really annoying.

[166] Yeah.

[167] You got to cut it out.

[168] So ego.

[169] I got to cut it out.

[170] Not you.

[171] The world.

[172] I know.

[173] I do got to cut it out.

[174] Beat down by Google.

[175] But there's also a lot of ridiculous websites.

[176] You can get caught up in the mix.

[177] Yeah, some of them have lies.

[178] There's also, like, studies that are, like, Like one study will say it's good for you Another study will say Gives you dick cancer Can you guys figure this out?

[179] It's like a bunch of different guys claiming to be the welterweight champion of the world Like you can't have five different Welterweight champions Just like you can't have You gotta figure it out Let us know Okay, we'll wait And that's when you say Welterweight champion you're meaning boxing Yeah Yeah That's why boxing's not what it used to be It used to be really ridiculous There was like a gang I don't know if there's as many now.

[180] You always hear about the big ones, the WBC, WBA, IBF, those are the big ones.

[181] And then it was the IBO, wasn't that, came along?

[182] There was a bunch of different ones, too.

[183] One time I was welterweight champion.

[184] Fought my sister.

[185] Did you see the Maidona fight?

[186] Nah.

[187] Mayweather Maidna?

[188] I refuse to watch Mayweather fight until he fights Paci out.

[189] I think everybody, yeah, yeah.

[190] I'm boycotting them.

[191] Dude, my daughter.

[192] made a hell of a fight out of it.

[193] It was a lot of fun.

[194] Yeah, it was a great fight.

[195] It was a great fight.

[196] It was fun.

[197] You know how they played on HBO the next week?

[198] If you're fully moved back into wherever you get.

[199] Oh, shit.

[200] I turned off my cable.

[201] I gave in the box on Saturday.

[202] Oh, that's crazy.

[203] I did not know that it could go like that.

[204] Me neither.

[205] I thought that once a deal is a deal, like the paperwork starts getting moving.

[206] I didn't know you could just stop the process.

[207] Yeah, if the bank, I thought, They thought they were going to close.

[208] They even tried to close early the other day.

[209] And I said, I won't be out.

[210] But they had to approve it at one point in time.

[211] They approved it, yeah.

[212] And then someone, like, oversaw it?

[213] Somebody oversaw and said, eh, we don't trust these Persians.

[214] I want to find out what they did.

[215] Yeah, I need to.

[216] And support it somehow.

[217] Give them one money.

[218] Figured out a way to circumvent the system.

[219] You're probably selling something good.

[220] Oh, man. Probably.

[221] That's the irony of it.

[222] probably something i would like they probably sell it something awesome maybe it's raw milk or marijuana it could be marijuana whatever it is fucking let them alone it's all the money from those rug stores those millions and millions of rug stores that you see everywhere and you're like how to that's a serious crime though you're trying to hide income hiding income is a serious crime apparently yeah yeah because you really think about it like hiding income you know if you got a lot of cash coming in and how much it like what a percentage percentage of how much you actually make is like under the table that you would get taxed on you know and how much more money would the government get because of that how much of an example can they make out of you to make sure that someone hears about it so they don't do it right in in italy dolce and gabana probably going to jail really like right now they got like an 18 month suspended sentence but it's for hiding money offshore and it's like can you imagine dolce and gabana in jail that is just bananas and that's like the perfect example of what you're talking about like make an example of somebody that everybody knows who you you would think never would go to jail if they do it to them yeah they don't fuck around when it comes to that that's the most mafia shit in the world is the tax collector yeah because they don't treat it like it's money they take away your freedom it's one of the rare times where just it becomes a crime where you're not giving someone enough money that becomes a crime that becomes a crime But it's just, it becomes a crime that they go after you with a fucking fever that's reserved for terrorism.

[223] Yeah.

[224] I mean, they'll put your ass in jail.

[225] You could have done everything right all your life and just throwing one extra receipt in there.

[226] Well, I don't think it's that much, but if they find out, I think they're probably pretty fair about finding out, you know, whether or not you're actually being a tax cheat.

[227] But if you are a tax cheat, they fucking go after you.

[228] like what they did with Wesley Snipes.

[229] They wouldn't even let him pay it.

[230] They wouldn't even let him pay it back.

[231] They put Lauren Hill in jail.

[232] They're like, well, you've got to go to jail.

[233] No, no, no, you're going to go to fucking jail.

[234] They put Lauren Hill in jail.

[235] Like she's a menace to society.

[236] The singer -songwriter, she's a menace.

[237] She's out there singing.

[238] She's like, I'll give you two of the Grammys.

[239] She's like, you didn't give me enough money.

[240] You didn't give me enough money, so we're going to have to lock you in a cage.

[241] That's crazy.

[242] Especially when you say cage.

[243] It's a cage.

[244] We're going to lock you in a cage.

[245] cage.

[246] That's what it is.

[247] I'm going to pay you.

[248] And I firmly believe that we should all pay taxes.

[249] Firmly believe it.

[250] I really do.

[251] I think we need to pay what we need to figure out what's important for everybody.

[252] What's number one?

[253] Is it health care?

[254] What's number two?

[255] Is it school systems?

[256] Like what are our priorities?

[257] Figure out what the...

[258] And then figure out how much that shit costs.

[259] Like get people who really know what they're doing and everybody should contribute their part.

[260] At least what you can contribute.

[261] It would make the world a better place.

[262] Right, that's what we all want.

[263] But it gets real squirley when I don't know what you're doing with that money.

[264] It gets real squirley in it because...

[265] It's fucked up on so many ends.

[266] Like some people don't want to dishonest and don't want to pay.

[267] And some people, when they get the money, they blow it on shit.

[268] So then that justifies that the people who don't want to pay.

[269] They're like, look what they just did with that.

[270] And then there's some people not getting enough of it who need it, like for education, especially like in the hood and all that shit.

[271] Yeah.

[272] It's like, this shit is all fucked up.

[273] And it's dishonest people in, if there's a pie cut in five, and that could make this thing work, there's dishonest people in each slice.

[274] Yeah.

[275] Well, I think we would all be happy to pay taxes.

[276] But I think people would be way more likely to pay taxes if we had a better sense of community.

[277] And if they know where the fucking money is going.

[278] Like, there's no receipt.

[279] We don't get a receipt.

[280] Hey, you know, you paid Ian, you paid X amount of money.

[281] And, you know, this amount went to school.

[282] school systems.

[283] You'd be happy to know that this amount went to fix the streets.

[284] You'd be happy to know, like, that would be beautiful if we got a chance to see that.

[285] You know, you'd be able to look at it.

[286] Like, quantify, look, you know, my, the fruits of my work have sent X amount of dollars towards public education.

[287] That would be a nice feeling.

[288] And you know why it's not transparent and there's no receipt?

[289] Because it's not being distributed equally.

[290] And that would fuck people up.

[291] Well, it's fucked up that it's not our, it's not only, is it not our call.

[292] It's pretty, we're in the dark about it.

[293] Hardly ever come.

[294] When people talk about the budget, it's always the balancing and the budget.

[295] The president's attempting to balance the budget.

[296] They're adjusting bills and the balancing of the budget.

[297] They're important voice.

[298] I like your important voice.

[299] Balancing of the budgets.

[300] Yeah, that's how they talk.

[301] I'm about to tell you nothing that's important voice.

[302] The balancing of the budgets, he must be right.

[303] As the president addresses the nation this evening.

[304] The president's hype man. It's a president.

[305] Well, all that fake shit that used to exist in like the fucking bicentennial days back in the 1700s and shit, it's like still going on in that way.

[306] There's a formal way of communicating.

[307] Like, we don't need that anymore.

[308] We don't.

[309] There should never be a formal time where you communicate.

[310] Because all that means is that there's a bunch of shit you're not going to tell me. And I'm not going to know how you're really thinking.

[311] I'm going to hear some thing that I allow you to do where you go into this fake speaker voice.

[312] And I'll allow you to say a bunch of stupid shit with no I don't know.

[313] No one gets to talk to you Mm -hmm.

[314] You don't have to communicate like that anymore.

[315] It doesn't it, the only reason it used to exist is because you had to get like a bunch of people hear ye, hear you.

[316] You didn't have microphones.

[317] So they're yelling out to some fucking room.

[318] They have to yell it out because you can't just talk and people can't talk back to you.

[319] There's not, there's too many of them who take too much time.

[320] Fuck it.

[321] But no, now doesn't, now there's a way.

[322] Like there's, it's like there's interaction.

[323] It should be it should be like This should be some sort of a two -way street here.

[324] It should be 2014 type of style interaction instead of what they're doing right now.

[325] The important thing is that the president has let us know where the money goes.

[326] Back to you.

[327] Who are you?

[328] Why are you talking like that?

[329] This is madness.

[330] The president's crazy.

[331] They're crazy.

[332] Everyone's crazy.

[333] Right.

[334] They're all talking a fake voice.

[335] We copied from the guy before you who did that job before you.

[336] Our country is strong.

[337] Our will is great.

[338] What are you doing?

[339] Imagine if you're eating and someone started talking you like that.

[340] You're in the middle of dinner.

[341] Someone starts to do you like, what the fuck are you doing?

[342] You're eating dinner on the floor.

[343] Who is this weird asshole talking like this?

[344] This is crazy talk.

[345] Telling me how I feel and how are we going to make it through this.

[346] You're going to tell me how I'm going to make it through this and you're going to disappear after the speech.

[347] Go away, crazy.

[348] When is that going to go away?

[349] I mean, at one point in time, they had to get rid of the powdered wigs.

[350] Okay.

[351] At one point time, those judges were wearing those wigs and they're like, look, we've got to have the wigs.

[352] We're not wearing the wigs.

[353] This shit is no good.

[354] That was bananas.

[355] That's how crazy shit was.

[356] When a motherfucker in a wig was telling you what was up.

[357] Hear ye, hear ye.

[358] And he's dressed like a squire.

[359] We're wearing high heels.

[360] Yeah, what were they wearing?

[361] They were wearing high heels.

[362] That's where high heels came from.

[363] It started it.

[364] So crazy.

[365] And robes.

[366] At one point time, someone had a look at that and go, yo, we got to stop this.

[367] We gotta stop with the wigs And they fought them This is tradition This is how it's always been We will wear the wigs There could be some terrible Oliver still documentary About the fucking The revolt to keep the wigs on There's some It's stupid as shit Pessing that wig What's fucked up in England In court Like you get sentenced By a motherfucker in a wig You still do Still do That is so crazy Oh you guys are nuts Listen There's nothing I can do About this But you're gonna tell me This shit like a man, take that fucking wig off before you tell me I got 25 years.

[368] Or I'm not doing it.

[369] I'm going to try to escape.

[370] We take that fucking wig off right down.

[371] What are you doing, stupid?

[372] Why are you dressing like you're in a different time era?

[373] You're putting on a show.

[374] You're putting on a show for me. You have a wig on.

[375] This is a show.

[376] This is a goddamn play.

[377] Where's the other people in the play?

[378] This is not real.

[379] You're putting on a play, you fuckhead.

[380] It's hilarious.

[381] It's so ridiculous.

[382] Can we see some?

[383] Can you pull up some modern English court, guy in wig?

[384] What do they call them, a barrister?

[385] Barrester, yeah.

[386] The barrister.

[387] There was a barrister a lawyer.

[388] Isn't that a lawyer?

[389] That's the old school.

[390] That's old school.

[391] See if you can find some...

[392] That's John Belushi.

[393] That's Joe Pesci.

[394] Oh, that's right.

[395] That weird fucking scene.

[396] That was one of those scenes.

[397] You can't really do.

[398] You can't really do that, man. Oliver Stone wasn't there while that was going down.

[399] Like, man, you took a little creative license, and I need to talk to you about it.

[400] You don't even have any pictures of these guys doing this.

[401] How do you know that they went down like that?

[402] That's what he does.

[403] That's just what they did.

[404] Oh, okay.

[405] All right, man. There's a lot of people, like, have a problem with Oliver Stone because of shit like that.

[406] Like, you know, that movie JFK, you know, where the Donald Sutherland character comes over and tells all the information, all the details.

[407] You know that scene?

[408] Yeah.

[409] Apparently that dude, he made up that guy.

[410] He made up that guy.

[411] Yeah, that wasn't like an historical guy.

[412] He was used as like a tool to sort of propel the story along.

[413] This is what I had heard.

[414] I forget parts of JFK.

[415] I can't even remember that part.

[416] It was an interesting.

[417] I need to pull it up now to make sure Donald Sterling's character.

[418] Because I did just say that now.

[419] And I'm saying, as I said it, I'm like, I may have been wrong.

[420] Not Donald Sterling.

[421] Donald Sutherland?

[422] Donald Sutherland.

[423] That's hilarious.

[424] Donald Sterling's on my braid.

[425] I saw Donald Sutherland the other day, man. I was watching the old school invasion of the body snatchers.

[426] Did you ever see that?

[427] A long time ago.

[428] Jeff Goldblum's in it.

[429] He's like 20 years old.

[430] He looks like a little kid.

[431] It's crazy.

[432] I just saw him in a hotel, Budapest or some shit like that.

[433] Grand Budapest.

[434] If you Google Donald Sutherland and then write scene, seen JFK comes up immediately.

[435] Pull it up Brian.

[436] It says JFK movie clip.

[437] Jifk Yeah.

[438] Yeah, Donald Sutherland scene JFK movie clip.

[439] Let's sit on a bench together.

[440] It's a fascinating thing because if this guy didn't really exist then, yeah, that one right there.

[441] If this guy didn't really exist, like it's a vehicle to distribute the truth, but I think it's supposed to be his inner dialogue.

[442] No, no, no, no, but listen, because this is a guy who's telling him all this stuff.

[443] One of my routine duties if I had been in Washington would have been to arrange for additional security in Texas, so I decided to check it out.

[444] And sure enough, I found out that someone had told the 112 Military Intelligence Group at Fourth Army Headquarters at Fort San Houston to stand down that day over the protests of the unit commander.

[445] Colonel Reich.

[446] I believe it's a mistake.

[447] This is significant because it is standard operating procedure, especially in a known, hostile city like Dallas, to supplement the secret service.

[448] I mean, even if we had not allowed the bubble top to be removed from the limousy, we would have placed at least 100 to 200 agents on the sidewalk without question.

[449] I mean, only a month.

[450] Yeah.

[451] UN ambassador, I had last Stevenson, stood on it here.

[452] There had already been several attempts on de Gaul's life in France.

[453] We would have arrived days ahead of time, studied the route, checked all the doors, Never would have allowed all those wide, open, empty windows overlooking dealing.

[454] Never.

[455] We'd have had our own seat.

[456] It was covered in the area.

[457] The minute of winter...

[458] Do you want to watch this whole clip?

[459] Yeah, just let it go for a couple of a couple of it.

[460] It's interesting.

[461] Never would have let a man open an umbrella all along the way.

[462] Never would have allowed that limousine to slow down to 10 miles an hour, much less take that unusual curve at Houston at L. You would have felt an army presence in the streets that day.

[463] None of this happened.

[464] It was a violation of the most basic protection codes we have.

[465] And it is the best indication of a massive plot in Dallas.

[466] Now, who could have best done this?

[467] Black ops, Mr. Garrison.

[468] People in my business, people like my superior officer, could have called Colonel Reich and said, look, we have another unit coming from so -and -so, providing security, you'll stand down.

[469] I mean, that day, in fact, there were some individual Army intelligence people in Dallas.

[470] I'm still trying to figure out who and why.

[471] But they weren't protecting client.

[472] And, of course, Oswald.

[473] Army Intel had a Harvey Lee Oswald on file.

[474] all those houses have been destroyed any strange things were happening anyway here's the point if that guy didn't really say all that shit are you allowed to just do that I think that's how Oliver Stone feels about the situation exactly he just wanted to get his shit across well he says the guy's a real guy Oliver Stone says the guy's name is Fletcher Prouty P -R -O -U -T -Y Fletcher Prouty and that he served in the military since World War II and from 55 to 64 who's in the Pentagon working as a chief of special operations hmm so apparently it was a real dude according to Oliver Stone I saw a dope JFK movie I forgot it's called Park something did anybody see it?

[475] No what is it?

[476] It came out last year it's about the movie it's about the assassination but it's about everybody around it It's about the secret service.

[477] So he gets shot and before they show the hospital and the doctors in the hospital.

[478] So it's about them operating on JFK.

[479] Parkland?

[480] Yeah, Parkland.

[481] The fight for his body with the coroner in the city.

[482] To get the body on the plane.

[483] Then there was a part where the CIA agent is like, listen, we got to protect the president.

[484] And they're looking at JFK.

[485] And the guy said, okay, let's do it.

[486] And they say, that's not the president anymore.

[487] like when they're taking his body out of the topless car to put him in the ambulance and the secret service guy looked at his brain he's like that dude's not the president anymore and then it was about grabbing the vice president and securing him and I said we got to get him back on the plane and everybody associated and then they said what about the first lady and she's like then I she ain't the first lady no more and they was like ready to just it's like those moments like they're like ready to this like cal Master to the wolves.

[488] It's like, but it was just protocol.

[489] Right, yeah.

[490] And it's just like, so it was about the shit that they went through.

[491] The doctors, like, trying to resuscitating and their day.

[492] And then Sopruda, who had the film, and then getting the film from him.

[493] And it was, it was well done.

[494] It was underrated.

[495] There was a bunch of witnesses to the assassination, people that were in the grassy knoll, people that were in that area.

[496] Out of those people, in three years from the time of the murder, the three -year period 18 witnesses were killed six by gunfire three by motor accidents two by suicide one from a cutthroat one from a karate chop to the neck three from heart attacks and two from natural causes holy shit I want more info on the karate chop to the neck how do they know it was a karate chop karate chop karate chop is rarely fatal maybe the guy was a bitch to the neck though I just saw the MythBusters last night they were talking about how you could actually be driving on a motorcycle at certain speeds and hit the right kind of bug at the right kind of place on your throat and it could just kill you.

[497] Wow.

[498] Just from bugs.

[499] What kind of bugs is that?

[500] It was one of those huge, like, almost beetle bugs that are only in, like, Africa, you know, but they look like almost like a dinosaur bug.

[501] You know what I'm talking about?

[502] Do those fly?

[503] Yeah, they do fly.

[504] Holy shit.

[505] What are they?

[506] Pull that up.

[507] I got to tell Dean Darray to look out.

[508] Yeah Yeah, that seems like You get hurt, man Other countries do way worse than us When it comes to bugs We're lucky when it comes to bugs Especially California That's one thing you don't realize You go back east during the summer And you get wopped on by mosquitoes You go, oh yeah, you guys have bugs everywhere Yeah, they're like, what country are we in?

[509] In California, they killed all their bugs Yeah, if you go to Florida Go to like Gainesville, Florida in July.

[510] Like, good luck.

[511] My God.

[512] It doesn't even feel like America.

[513] Yeah, it's a southern fucking...

[514] Whoa, that's crazy.

[515] It's called a Goliath beetle, I think.

[516] That's a real bug?

[517] Yeah.

[518] Oh, my God.

[519] It's a crap.

[520] Is her hand small or is that the real size?

[521] No, that would make you dick look like a tree.

[522] That hand.

[523] Yeah, here's another one of them.

[524] Whoa.

[525] Get the fuck out.

[526] This thing, for folks who are...

[527] It's like, like, picture your grandfather's flip flound.

[528] Not your mom's flip phone, but your grandfather's.

[529] It's like a Motorola StarTack.

[530] Remember that StarTack?

[531] That's what it's like.

[532] It looks like a bedazzled phone case.

[533] That thing would fuck you up.

[534] That's a big bug.

[535] That thing would have to pry your mouth open.

[536] Oh, that's a ocean creature, isn't it?

[537] It's a beetle.

[538] That's a beetle.

[539] That's a beetle.

[540] It is?

[541] Not a water beetle?

[542] It is the giant a sauce pot?

[543] Oh, my God.

[544] It's technically not an insect.

[545] What the fuck?

[546] Technically not an insect.

[547] What is it then?

[548] Where do you find those?

[549] I bet that's a delicious lobster tail.

[550] It looks like a lobster tail, didn't it?

[551] Yeah.

[552] Well, that's what a bug is, man. I mean, the lobsters are bugs.

[553] They're just bugs in the water.

[554] I guess you might...

[555] A bug that can swim.

[556] They're very similar to cockroaches.

[557] In fact, we found out on Fear Factor that if you're allergic to shellfish, you're also allergic to cockroaches.

[558] Oh, for real?

[559] We found that out the hard way.

[560] Oh, shit.

[561] Somebody gets sick.

[562] Yeah, well, we found out that this dude had to eaten these cockroaches and his throat started to close up.

[563] You start having an allergic reaction.

[564] They can't breathe.

[565] Oh, shit.

[566] They have to give you, I think it's a shot of adrenaline or something like that.

[567] Yeah, if you're allergic, you've got to tell people everything you're allergic to.

[568] You can't hide things.

[569] Just to try to win $50 ,000.

[570] I don't know what happened there.

[571] Maybe somebody asked shellfish, yes, and they didn't bother asking bugs.

[572] Maybe they didn't know.

[573] Yeah, that does live in the water.

[574] That's crazy.

[575] That looks like an alien type of thing.

[576] That thing is crazy.

[577] So it lives in the water.

[578] Yeah.

[579] And not only does it look like an alien, it looks like a spacecraft.

[580] It looks like an alien head.

[581] It's so ridiculous that that's a real animal.

[582] It's got gold eyes.

[583] How big is it?

[584] It's got gold eyes, everything.

[585] It's about a hamburger?

[586] No, it's way bigger than that.

[587] That thing was like a football.

[588] When that dude was holding it earlier?

[589] That was more football -sized.

[590] Man, so you guys, how unprofessionally is if I run to the bathroom?

[591] Not at all right.

[592] Not at all right.

[593] Just drank this water.

[594] Nobody expects to hang.

[595] Here we go.

[596] The deep sea isopods.

[597] It's right through there, yeah.

[598] Bathenomas gigantius.

[599] Oh my God.

[600] Look at that thing.

[601] And this was originally preserved in.

[602] It's not quite a football.

[603] It looks like a huge lobster tail.

[604] Huge.

[605] So I've been soaking in a pill bug.

[606] It's like a pill bug.

[607] To remove the formalin since that's kind of nasty stuff.

[608] Like the biggest lobster tail ever.

[609] It's size of a football, shape of a football.

[610] Dry it out, get it set up to dry out, and make a specimen out of it.

[611] We're so weird, though.

[612] Why would that be gross to us?

[613] So the first thing I'm going to do is...

[614] But why would that be gross?

[615] We eat lobster.

[616] Like, if we were at a restaurant and I ordered lobster, would you get grossed out?

[617] You know, when I'm eating lobster, I just went the other day and had it, and it still kind of freaks me out.

[618] And, like, I had it for lunch.

[619] I had lobster tail for lunch, and I could only eat at Papadose in Phoenix.

[620] And I could only eat half of it.

[621] I just got sick almost.

[622] It just hit wrong.

[623] Like, I have to be in the mood.

[624] It has to be later in the day, and I can't have any hangover.

[625] Then I just won't think about it.

[626] Maybe you just have a weird thing with it, because I just think lobster's delicious.

[627] I've never thought about it.

[628] I don't know.

[629] When you can see, they're, like, hairs.

[630] I had some shrimp cocktail the other day, and I can't imagine that anybody doesn't like it.

[631] I can't imagine that people don't like shrimp cocktail.

[632] But Jamie didn't want to have the shrimp cocktail.

[633] What?

[634] Jamie is like, no, not into it.

[635] Wow.

[636] He's not into any water bugs.

[637] He doesn't eat the water bugs.

[638] Yeah, dude, I'll eat street meat.

[639] I'll eat lobster.

[640] Look, shrimps are delicious.

[641] There's nothing wrong with you, Jamie.

[642] You're the problem.

[643] It's not the shrimp.

[644] Shrimps are magical creatures that taste so good.

[645] And they're one of those creatures where you don't feel so bad about killing them and eating them.

[646] You know, very few.

[647] Like, if you, Carl Malone shot a bear.

[648] There's a photo on TMZ of Carl Malone with his bear that he shot, and everybody was getting upset.

[649] um you shot it with bow and arrow and um you know that that freaks people out but if he was eating a bowl of shrimp nobody would give a fuck i'm more yeah not weird lately i i found out that uh was it jellyfish i think no no no octopus that that octopuses are almost as smart as uh yeah dolphins and so i'm thinking like shit i know people that don't eat octopus now because of that and i love octopus i do too i love octopus too.

[650] I think the difference between just the intelligence and the fact that I think octopuses are most likely cunts.

[651] Yeah.

[652] They might be smart as fuck, but it's like crows are smart as fuck.

[653] I'll shoot one of those bitches right in their dirty crow head.

[654] It's not just smart.

[655] I need smart and nice.

[656] That's why I like dolphins.

[657] They're smart and nice.

[658] That's why I like orcas.

[659] They're smart and nice.

[660] Yeah, but that's just because dolphins are cute and octopuses are ugly, but if you put like a hat on a dolphin or an octopus, I'm like look cute.

[661] Octopuses are too weird.

[662] They don't even have a skeleton.

[663] They don't sit.

[664] They don't roll over.

[665] If they're so smart, why don't they do tricks?

[666] Yeah, that was a goblin shark that they found.

[667] They were shrimping.

[668] Yeah.

[669] And they found this.

[670] This is usually, apparently, they usually find these in Japan.

[671] And they're very rare.

[672] They don't find very many of them at all.

[673] It's essentially a dinosaur fish.

[674] It's something that really probably shouldn't exist anymore.

[675] It's one of those things that just hasn't quite died out yet, but it is old as fuck.

[676] How hairy it is.

[677] It's so weird looking.

[678] fish hair.

[679] I don't think it has hair on it.

[680] What are you talking about?

[681] Hanging out with a cat.

[682] It looks like it has a bunch of cat hair all over it.

[683] It's hard to say what that is.

[684] I guess it is a hair.

[685] Does that what it looks like?

[686] I mean, shrimp have hair.

[687] Or lobster have hair.

[688] That's why it freaks me out something when I see hair on things.

[689] Is that a hare that a lobster has?

[690] Like, what is that stuff?

[691] It's not hair.

[692] I don't know.

[693] Lobsters don't have hair, dude.

[694] They have some weird sort of fibrous under parts.

[695] Yeah.

[696] It's kind of like when you catch a girl on the right sun and you never notice she has like those little whiskers and you're like, oh, you know, it's kind of like that when you eat it.

[697] Does that really slow you down?

[698] The whiskers slow you down?

[699] Yes, man, it really freaks me out.

[700] Really?

[701] That peach fuzz sometimes when it's too hefty, then I can't, I can see it when you, even at night, but you get that sun and you see that fuzz all over your face.

[702] Why do you care?

[703] Duct tape that shit.

[704] Freaks you out?

[705] I don't know, man. It just freaks, like, I'm like, oh my gosh, she's got a beard.

[706] Guys are so picky.

[707] That's why, like, Asians have zero hair, you know?

[708] Guys are so picky when it comes to women.

[709] Like, we'll, like, any little thing.

[710] Yeah, and chicks will fuck Donald Sterling.

[711] Yeah, exactly.

[712] And we could be...

[713] There's a difference right there.

[714] You could be fat, all kinds of wrong shit going on.

[715] That dude's 81, you know?

[716] That was the most shocking thing.

[717] It wasn't that an 81 -year -old dude was racist.

[718] Yeah, I wasn't.

[719] Yeah, I was shocked about that.

[720] 81 -year -old dude is...

[721] I mean, how old was that?

[722] He might even not be...

[723] He's at least peeing on her.

[724] You know what I'm saying?

[725] He's doing something weird.

[726] He's doing something weird to her.

[727] And I just didn't appreciate the way she sat dignified in that interview with her crazy answers.

[728] I didn't watch that.

[729] Oh, you got to see that.

[730] I don't have any desire.

[731] I feel you.

[732] I couldn't care less.

[733] The thing is, to me, the cultural significance of it is far more interesting than the actual people involved.

[734] Like what?

[735] Well, the cultural significance of what's going on now, I think, across the board when it comes to people representing themselves or saying anything, is that things are taken in a way today.

[736] People are taking a task way quicker, way more fewer, way easier to transmit information, way easier for people to know what a person did.

[737] It's at a different level now.

[738] I think it's like a cultural evolution accelerator.

[739] That's what I think.

[740] I think in situations like this, like to anyone who is like an objective person, race is not important.

[741] What's important is the quality of how the human being interacts with you, how they interact with other people, how intelligent they are all the things that we judge a person on.

[742] That's what's important.

[743] Race means zero.

[744] So anybody that's still hung up on race being the number one thing, like he doesn't want her taking pictures with black guys.

[745] Okay, what are you saying?

[746] I just think he was more jealous than even racist at that point.

[747] But he gave her the green light to fuck those guys.

[748] Did you hear the same tape?

[749] I didn't believe him when he said that.

[750] I just felt like he was just saying, you know, yeah, but like, before you were mature, you would have like, it's like somebody having a cheat argument with their daughter.

[751] Like, I don't want you to do this, why.

[752] But you don't tell him the real reason why.

[753] You tell him another worse.

[754] You escalate it.

[755] Like, every time I get into it with a girl, like, they'll exaggerate something else to get what they want.

[756] And to me, it's like he was exaggerating.

[757] But bottom line was, I don't even, I don't, my friends are calling me and teasing me about seeing the girl that I'm fucking with black guys who are probably fucking a shit out of her.

[758] And that's embarrassing.

[759] And that's embarrassing to me. And so do it on the low, but don't do it in my face.

[760] But I don't really want you to do it at all.

[761] Yeah, he didn't say all those things, though.

[762] He didn't, but that's what I got.

[763] He said, you can fuck them.

[764] I don't believe it.

[765] Don't take Instagram pictures.

[766] Think of the, think of the rationale of that.

[767] It doesn't make sense.

[768] Well, it doesn't make sense to be 81 years old and ever get it to fuck a girl who's in her 20s.

[769] That shit doesn't make any sense.

[770] It's just the fact that that happens.

[771] I believe in it.

[772] He's a male.

[773] Like elf on the shelf to you.

[774] Like, that's where Brian's hoping to get to.

[775] Look, it obviously can happen.

[776] It can happen.

[777] If there are prostitutes, they don't, if a guy comes in, he's 80 years old, you got to fuck that guy, too.

[778] Listen, he's the equivalent of a male dime piece.

[779] He's a billionaire.

[780] There's a few of them in the world.

[781] Like, if you're amazing.

[782] If you're a chick and you can get at a billionaire, 80 doesn't mean nothing.

[783] What is that about?

[784] Isn't that fascinating?

[785] I guess it's just like he bought her a lot of shit Yeah Bought her a lot of nice stuff Bort her some shit she would never be able to get probably Bogotty Yeah Bentley and two Ferraris the thing it was But it's like Okay is that prostitution What is that?

[786] How does that work?

[787] No it's prostitution Is it?

[788] Totally How do you know?

[789] I mean maybe she really did love him Come on Maybe she loved him because he bought her all that stuff Is that prostitution?

[790] That's a I don't know if that is It's prostitution I don't know if that is, man. I don't know if that is.

[791] You know what else is prostitution?

[792] What?

[793] Or it's pimping?

[794] Like, when a successful family, right, like, has a daughter and they tell her, they send her to school, they educate her, and tell her she has to marry a lawyer or somebody successful, that's prostitution.

[795] It is in a way, but it's better that than not educating your daughter about the dangers of me. marrying a bitch.

[796] About the day doesn't marry a bitch.

[797] Like a male bitch?

[798] A male bitch.

[799] Like some dude who can't pay his rent.

[800] He's always like, you know, can I just borrow a couple hundred bucks?

[801] Never gets a shit together.

[802] Never gets a steady job.

[803] And it's always other people's fault.

[804] And he's always, you know, if you get a lawyer, most likely he's not going to be that.

[805] At least he figured out his way through law school.

[806] He got a degree, did the tough stuff.

[807] You get a doctor.

[808] He's a smart guy, you know.

[809] Get a guy who's got a respectful position in this.

[810] community.

[811] It's like escort streetwalker.

[812] I'd rather be an escort if I was a chick.

[813] Yeah.

[814] Well, it's like girls don't, we don't require that same shit of you.

[815] Like, we don't require women to be anything other than nice.

[816] Like, would you get bummed out if you were dating a girl and you found out that she was a, like a a greeter at a restaurant?

[817] No. And I'm single, so that's who I normally date.

[818] Like, somebody, I'm not making a ton of money by any chance, Most of the women I date, I make more money than them.

[819] And it never matters to me. Right, of course.

[820] So it's going to be a waitress or a greeder or just, you know, some, you know.

[821] It's a weird thing, man, where people don't like the changing of the traditional relationships.

[822] The woman makes more money and the woman has more power than the man has.

[823] When that is unbalanced, it makes for a weird dynamic.

[824] Some people can pull it off, but a lot of people can.

[825] Most people can't, yeah.

[826] Most people can.

[827] They don't want to admit that.

[828] You know, like, I've seen some people that are pulling it off, and I have a friend.

[829] He only works a little bit, and his wife works a lot, and he's at home with the kids most of the time.

[830] But they're very happy, and it does work.

[831] So you can't say it never works, but for the most part, the dudes fall apart.

[832] And it's usually, for the most part, the woman gets tired of the dudes not making any money.

[833] That happens, too.

[834] Let's be honest, though, it depends which restaurant your girl is a greet her at, because if it's like Hooters, it's like, oh, God, she's not even hot enough to be a hooters.

[835] waitress.

[836] Maybe she did want to be a waitress.

[837] Maybe she's hotter.

[838] She's like, I'm too hot to be walking around carrying drinks.

[839] Yeah.

[840] I need to just be right here.

[841] With my weird fucking tan skinned nylons.

[842] Are they like yoga?

[843] Nylons?

[844] Yoga pants?

[845] Like tan yoga pants?

[846] Those things still turn me on though.

[847] Like when a girl has like a pair she stole from work, you know?

[848] A pair she stole from her.

[849] All I think of, and this is not a negative thing, but it's a little weird, is when I see those, I think sweaty feet.

[850] Like those girls have some sweaty feet They have to They're in plastic In yoga pants Not in yoga pants But in those Hooters wardrobes Those girls are got some sweaty feet No way they don't You have plastic on your feet You're walking around I'll heat it up You know We figured out a long time ago You're not supposed to do that You're supposed to wear like Organic fibers Like cotton shit Otherwise your feet stink And they weird out you fucking dummy They got athletes Athletes hooters feet Yeah, they should be wearing wool.

[851] Wool is what's really good for your feet if you sweat a lot.

[852] This whole Donald Sterling thing that has come to, like, I think one thing, I thought of a great idea for a company if you want to invest you.

[853] I guarantee I don't want to invest in your company.

[854] I think it's going to blow up.

[855] It's selling these things.

[856] What she's been wearing around, there's like Tron, like daft punk visors.

[857] Is that what she wears?

[858] Yeah, it's a daft punk like, wow, visor thing.

[859] And I guess ever since this whole case, visor companies are saying that they've been selling, like, ridiculous amounts of these visors and it seems like that's going to be the next popular thing that's a good move man visors are a good move yeah because it covers your whole face let's start we have to do this right now though like today we got to call these that's not a bad move dude visors let's do it have a little logo right people would like wear visors pretending that the paparazzi's after them that would be like the new thing like to fake like you need a visor you know like you show up at a girl's house you wear the visors she's like bitch you don't need a advisor you know like no you don't know my last comedy central special just blew the fuck up apparently you're not in a no i need a i need a you know what's going to happen these are going to become popular and then they're going to turn the google glass type shit into this so this is going to be like a full like 17 inch lap screen in your face you just gave them a dope idea that actually is a great idea and then we're star wars that is a great that idea is fantastic having one of those is a visor one of those you see that new thing that they were uh samsung was uh They were showing some new screen that they have that's a flexible screen.

[860] It could roll like a parchment.

[861] And actually the image goes around the edge, like all the way around the side.

[862] Like say if it's that fat, you see part of the image on that side as well, like all the way up until the top.

[863] They can have that on that.

[864] Totally.

[865] That's exactly the perfect thing for it.

[866] Well, you know, Crash at the Float Lab, he devised a special type of screen.

[867] It's pretty fascinating stuff.

[868] The Float Lab is a sensory deprivation.

[869] Prevation Tank Place in Venice.

[870] Okay.

[871] And the guy who runs it is this this super genius crazy dude who's just obsessed with making the very best tanks.

[872] This guy figured out how to make a screen that when you know what a whole float tank is, the whole thing about sitting in the salt water.

[873] Do you know it all?

[874] You have one of those, right?

[875] Yeah.

[876] Do you understand it?

[877] Yeah, a little bit.

[878] Yeah, Michael Jackson had one.

[879] No, no, no. It's not the same thing.

[880] And that was the worst monkey.

[881] No, no, no, no. That was the worst monkey.

[882] He had a hyperbaric chamber.

[883] Hyperbaric chamber.

[884] Which is really good for healing.

[885] Like, athletes.

[886] to use hyperbaric chambers.

[887] It's like you break a bone or something like that.

[888] Apparently cuts down on the healing time.

[889] Helps heal injuries.

[890] Uriah Faber used one when he got his leg fucked up.

[891] And one of his fights, real bad bruising on his leg, and he helped heal it up in there.

[892] But that wasn't it.

[893] What's yours for?

[894] It's a sensory deprivation tank.

[895] You float in it.

[896] And you don't feel the water because it's the same temperature as your body and it's 1 ,000 pounds of salt in the water.

[897] So you lie down, you just, float.

[898] It's like the Dead Sea.

[899] It's amazing.

[900] It's great.

[901] You trip out in there.

[902] You have these weird imagery, visual things.

[903] You don't see anything.

[904] You don't hear anything.

[905] So as you get more relaxed when you're in the tank, you start to have these weird hallucinations.

[906] Do you take anything before you go in there?

[907] Some occasionally.

[908] Occasionally.

[909] Um, but that's, uh, why did I bring that up?

[910] Oh, that's not, the sensory deprivation tank, he came up with a screen that hovers just inches in front of your face.

[911] And it's such a low amount of light that's emitted by the screen that you don't see the actual screen itself.

[912] You just see the image.

[913] So because the tank is so dark, there's no light in there at all.

[914] You pull the lid shut and it's complete darkness.

[915] You open your eyes, you close your eyes.

[916] It looks exactly the same to you.

[917] This screen, which is hovering in front of you, you absorb only the image.

[918] So it's like the image is floating in the sky above your face and you can watch things like documentaries or like like a like a how -to thing like a golf instructional or something like that yeah and because you're floating you're you're you have way less distractions you have way more resources your mind has more resources to apply to learning something it's like if you were trying to learn something really intense like it was hard but some people were arguing right next to you you'd have to get the fuck away from them because you wouldn't be able to pay attention to whatever you're reading.

[919] Well, the idea is that just your whole body, just sitting down, just your ass touching this chair, is all information that you are getting to deal with in your brain.

[920] You have to constantly manage it.

[921] You're constantly, so your resources are spent managing distance and touching things and, you know, how your body feels and what you ate today and all that jazz.

[922] When you're in the tank, there's nothing, nothing.

[923] As long as you go to the bathroom before you go in there, once you relax and float, You're just floating.

[924] How long are you staying in there for?

[925] The minimum I going there is usually an hour.

[926] The most I go in there is like two hours.

[927] I've done longer, but I think two hours is the right amount.

[928] You get pruning?

[929] No, no, because it's salt.

[930] Yeah, you don't get pruny at all.

[931] It's weird.

[932] It's totally different.

[933] I got to get one of those at the crib.

[934] Get one at the crib.

[935] I got to get a crib first, but this light floating above your head makes me think that that's exactly what these things could be like.

[936] Like, you could just lie back and watch a movie.

[937] Like, fuck having a big giant screen.

[938] You lie back, and the movie's like Oculus Rift style, like, completely enveloping your face.

[939] Yeah, and you could get, like, text notifications on the side.

[940] And it's so big, it would be like an IMAX screen.

[941] And it's lightweight, too, because you could probably make it pretty lightweight and just have it on the little band.

[942] Imagine if they did that, and they found out that it enhances your vision.

[943] Okay.

[944] Because you're constantly looking at these things right in front of you, and your vision becomes superpowered.

[945] Or you just zoom in on your hand, like pinch the...

[946] to zoom on your hand and you actually can focus like zoom your own vision and like have a camera in the front so it's like actually recording like Google Glass everything and just adding to it so then you could like zoom in your own vision well if that's going to be the case then your interface like what you're going to be able to do you're going to be able to do it like minority report style in the air in front of your lens absolutely and because it's your hand like you'll be able to recognize your hand the same way like your fingerprints get recognized by an iPhone right that kind of same shit I bet you'll be able to just start you know pinching reality in front of you and since everyone's going to be having these on all the time one the paparazzi is never going to take your photo but also your face is going to be like the next tit because you never see the face anymore so when a girl takes off her off her match you're like oh my god I want to fuck that and blow you need to stop talking today you're not even thinking before he's saying shit he was on to something well no you know like so dumb you cover like you know something up it's not that It's just the way you say it, it hurts people's brain.

[947] It always leads to pussy.

[948] Blow job's going to go up.

[949] It's not.

[950] It's just retarded.

[951] It's ridiculous.

[952] I think it's possible that we could have a use for that thing, though.

[953] That totally makes sense that you would be able to use it as a big giant screen and just pull things in front of you.

[954] Like you said, you could like be looking at something in the distance.

[955] Oh, I see fire.

[956] What is that?

[957] Zoom in on it and press Google.

[958] And it'll fucking get a direct coordination of where you all.

[959] and how far away that is and what that is.

[960] They already have range finders.

[961] They have these things that are these laser range finders so you can point it at something and it'll tell you exactly how far it is to the foot, which is bananas.

[962] It's crazy.

[963] It's 21 yards.

[964] Like, you could tell exactly how far that thing is.

[965] So if that's the case, they're going to be able to incorporate that sort of technology with a GPS technology.

[966] It's going to realize where you are, where it picks up your signal, realize the range at which you're looking at something.

[967] factor it in, zoom in on that location.

[968] Oh, that fire is coming from the city of blah, blah, blah, and they had an explosion in their factory.

[969] You'll be able to watch the Google News.

[970] Beep, you'll press a button in front of your face, and it'll play you a video that's the news of all the things that are happening in front of you.

[971] This makes me wonder, where the fuck have I been?

[972] Am I in this world?

[973] It's coming, man. This shit is going on.

[974] You got range finders?

[975] Oh, yeah, rangefinders are important for hunting.

[976] Oh, okay.

[977] Especially archery.

[978] when they uh like you have to figure out where the thing is like how far away it is because your arrow like a bullet shoots straight as an arrow for like a hundred yards but an arrow has more of a dip to it right an arrow doesn't doesn't have as much power as a gun obviously so like you have to calculate how far the arrow like dips to figure out where it's going to land and here's a trick question sounds crazy but if you take a gun in one hand and a bullet in the other hand and you pull the trigger at the same time exactly as you drop the bullet which one hits the ground first the shot at the one from the gun it's a trick question they hit exactly the same time because gravity is the same for both the bullet and for the bullet that you drop because the bullet is going to go straight for a long time but it's going to still drop it's still going to drop whereas the bullet that you're holding is going to drop right in front of you.

[979] You're going to hold it, you're going to let it go.

[980] It'll drop right there.

[981] This bullet is going to go like seven miles and then drop in the same amount of time.

[982] That's the difference.

[983] The difference is not the amount of time that it takes.

[984] The amount of time that it takes for the bullet to hit the ground is exactly the same.

[985] It's just the distance that the bullet that you shoot will go will be the difference.

[986] Isn't that crazy?

[987] Unless you shoot straight up in the air.

[988] Why are you making a face, dummy?

[989] You use calculations.

[990] Yeah, if you shoot straight up.

[991] Hey, it wasn't me. That's a cheat.

[992] That's a cheat.

[993] That's a cheat.

[994] That wasn't my face.

[995] You have to be parallel.

[996] He's making it.

[997] It only makes sense.

[998] Yeah.

[999] If it's parallel, right?

[1000] Yeah, it's parallel.

[1001] Exactly.

[1002] That is the look of skepticism right there.

[1003] Well, it makes sense if you stop and think about it.

[1004] I mean, think the, it doesn't defy gravity.

[1005] It just defies gravity while it flies straight.

[1006] I mean, it's just, it's flying straight.

[1007] So there's some defiance of gravity there.

[1008] But the amount of time that it flies straight is exactly.

[1009] the same is the amount of time if you just drop a bullet.

[1010] Jamie, you know there's no microphone on you, silly bitch.

[1011] The bullet you're shooting has force.

[1012] Exactly.

[1013] It's dropping doesn't though.

[1014] Yeah, but it's still, it's going to drop in the same amount of time, as long as it's going straight.

[1015] Yeah, the only thing I was thinking is that there is an explosion so the explosion doesn't like, I don't know.

[1016] Like it doesn't, it doesn't drop the same time.

[1017] They did it on this show Radio Lab.

[1018] They're explaining it.

[1019] And apparently, it's a trick question.

[1020] They're still using radios.

[1021] No, no, no. Dude, radio lab is awesome.

[1022] I think it's probably, there's probably a website that you can go.

[1023] Okay, let's, if you drop a bullet, drop a bullet, or shoot a bullet, which one hits the ground first?

[1024] It makes sense if you think about it, though, right?

[1025] I see what you're saying, but if it's being pushed out, it seems like the drop wouldn't happen at the same time as the bullet.

[1026] Well, Mythbusters did the thing on it.

[1027] Did anyone ever find out of that MythBusters photo of that dude naked?

[1028] Was that real or fake?

[1029] I don't know what you're talking about.

[1030] The bald guy or the crazy mustache.

[1031] There's like a picture of him like naked that was really popular like five years ago.

[1032] It's probably true.

[1033] Well, he's getting fucked in the butt or something.

[1034] Well, that's not nice.

[1035] Mm -hmm.

[1036] Come on, man. Do you still work on the boondock scene?

[1037] No, no. I only did the first season.

[1038] It's a good show.

[1039] Do you still watch it?

[1040] Do you like it?

[1041] It wasn't on.

[1042] It just started coming back on, and I don't have a TV right now.

[1043] Yeah.

[1044] Or cable to watch it, so, no. What are you going to do about all that?

[1045] Have you even thought about it again?

[1046] I'd have to, like, move back into my house that I just moved out of.

[1047] That would be the crazy.

[1048] My neighbors would be looking at me like, what the fuck is wrong with this guy?

[1049] Is all your stuff in storage right now?

[1050] Yeah, some of his in storage.

[1051] Well, you can just take a blanket and a pillow and a laptop.

[1052] Okay, the other factor apparently is the curve of the earth.

[1053] Curve of the Earth.

[1054] It seems that this is what they're saying, though.

[1055] It seems that they're saying that they land at the same time.

[1056] And it might even be that the bullet that you drop lands quicker.

[1057] Or the bullet that you shoot lands quicker.

[1058] Did you ask Siri?

[1059] No. Ask Siri.

[1060] See what she says.

[1061] She just Google it for you.

[1062] She won't really answer something like that.

[1063] Siri, which will fall first?

[1064] A gun shot, bullet, or bullet drop from hand.

[1065] This is what Sir is going to say.

[1066] Oh, my God, you're retarded.

[1067] It was like, what the fuck?

[1068] Checking.

[1069] Okay, I found this on the web.

[1070] It says, Oh, okay, if you shoot a bullet fast enough in the horizontal direction, you can get it to orbit around the earth.

[1071] Yeah, this is, they will hit the ground at the same time as what Siri told me. Insane.

[1072] Yeah, that's what they're saying.

[1073] It'd have to be some insane kind of gun.

[1074] You can conceivably shoot something that's so powerful.

[1075] You can get a bullet in orbit if you shoot at the horizon.

[1076] If you ignore air resistance, I guess maybe or defeat it just with sheer force and aiming in the right direction.

[1077] But because of the curvature of the earth, I guess it just makes sense that the bullet would hit the ground.

[1078] Like, it really is just dropping.

[1079] Like, that is the whole idea of gravity in the first place, is that the spin is what's causing everything to pull down.

[1080] So the spin would have to be factored in Like when the bullet drops And the earth is spinning Because we're spinning a thousand miles an hour You know And it's just weird curvature to things The whole idea just freaks me out That we're floating You know Just the fact that this planet is just A float in the universe In the middle of some space Yeah it's a freak out It's a freak out that you don't like to engage in Because it's too And we just accept it Yeah it's so bananas That you're forced to watch reality shows Just to cleanse your palate of any weirdness I guess it would be like if you were jumping from like two buildings like two buildings exactly the same if you were to just jump or fall straight from one building you would fall but if you were to jump up that would be cheating even saying because a bullet doesn't go up but if you were somehow just yeah you can't do it never mind think these things through the people are listening to this there's people on the other end and they have a life they have a mind of their own and they don't want your thoughts bouncing around inside their fucking head like if you were jumping from building to building you'd be going up like you'd be like shooting a gun up exactly so yes yes that's a good way of describing it and shooting a gun straight you'd still be falling the same way yeah it's weird especially with the curvature of the earth apparently that's what it is it's going really fast really far really quickly but it still falls the exact amount of time When does the bullet that you shoot start falling when it gets to its distance?

[1081] Well, see, it's going straight, but it's going super fucking fast and the earth is curved.

[1082] So, apparently, it drops, like, exactly like as if you were dropping the bullet.

[1083] So if you drop the bullet or you shot the bullet, this one's going really far, but at the same distance, or the same amount of time, rather, they both hit the ground.

[1084] It seems like a mind -fucking a half.

[1085] But if you've ever shot a bullet, you realize how quickly it hits the ground.

[1086] They hit the ground really quick.

[1087] Like, you shoot a bullet, and then they just, they're on the ground.

[1088] Like, pion, things go flying.

[1089] I mean, we don't think about it because we assume that it just keeps going for a long, long time.

[1090] About an hour or so.

[1091] Plus, my bullets are usually hitting something.

[1092] I don't even think about, you know.

[1093] They just fired them off.

[1094] You figure they're gone.

[1095] That thing's probably still flying.

[1096] Right, you know.

[1097] Yeah, meanwhile, it's not.

[1098] meanwhile it's already on the ground like just as quickly as if you drop it how about you drop a bullet and the bullet that you fire into somebody hits the ground at the same time the body of the person you shot hits the ground the same time as the bullet you drop no i don't think that's related okay just checking that wouldn't be related all right that's a different experience that the whole the gravity itself is a real real mind fuck and the idea that somehow or another it applies to these planets and it has something to do with mass and has something to do with a spin and that these things can even be applied to some asteroids some asteroids have gravity there's asteroids that are so big they have gravity and then there's there's things that there's a whole belt of shit that somehow another tied together and all floating around and sometimes this causes them to have bands around planets where you just look out and you can actually see it with a telescope and all that shit is just rocks spinning around outside a giant gas giant bubble planet fucking thing like whoa the whole idea of planets and solar systems is just too much man it's too much to wrap your head around anything that we think is significant everything you just said makes me think what the fuck are we doing every day like all this shit is going on all that shit paying student loans yeah pay student loans fighting traffic trying to get the new iPhone fuck all this space shit yeah I need a bigger screen this is bullshit yeah everyone's fighting traffic and meanwhile we're spinning in space this this lady was telling me today about the rents in Santa Monica just about how brutal it is she couldn't get a place in Santa Monica she was she was driving from work all the way to Hollywood where she can afford a place that just the idea of being stuck an hour and 45 minutes just trying to get to your house which is less than 10 miles away that's so crazy yeah it's so crazy Jesus it's insane a lot of stuff in LA is not that far but it does take a monumental amount of time to get there the fact that this is all going on while we're in space be the great beyond I mean what it's one of the most ironic things ever is that we're running out of space while we're flying through infinity and nobody cares I mean, that is what real estate price is going up is.

[1099] You're running out of space.

[1100] So the space becomes very valuable.

[1101] That's why it's really valuable to have a home on the beach.

[1102] It's not much.

[1103] It's a very finite amount of space.

[1104] You want a house right by the beach?

[1105] Listen, buddy, you got to pay, pay, pay, pay, pay, pay.

[1106] You want a front seat to the tsunami?

[1107] You got to pay.

[1108] It's quite ironic, isn't it?

[1109] That at the same time, we're running out of space while we're flying through infinity.

[1110] That is one of the most ironic things about the human race.

[1111] That's a clear sign of how crazy we are I get it There's certain places that have more resources I get it There's certain places that have better climates I get it California's a good place People figured it out It's a good spot to stop Not a lot of rain It's sunny as shit People look good They wear very little clothes Because it's hot all the time It's a good place to get your free con Bam I'm staying You know fuck fuck the rent Fuck the commute They charge you for it Yep you gotta pay for it This is so ironic that all this is going on to distract the shit out of us while we're hurling through infinity and we have no idea what this is all about.

[1112] I will never beat up a nerd again.

[1113] They're important.

[1114] They're important and they're into interesting stuff.

[1115] They're going to do the hard work, man. You're not going to do it.

[1116] I'm not going to do it.

[1117] He ain't going to do it.

[1118] Who the fuck's going to do it?

[1119] Without someone out there doing the hard work, we're doomed.

[1120] Then we're believing in fire gods and sacrificing people, fucking snakes with feathers.

[1121] There's Quetzal -Cawaddle.

[1122] This lady did my astrology chart the other day.

[1123] Oh, shit.

[1124] That's what they're calling these days?

[1125] Well, here's the crazy.

[1126] So I was going to get a studio apartment in Hollywood.

[1127] So the lady doesn't do a credit check.

[1128] She does your charts.

[1129] That's your credit check.

[1130] So then she was telling me my...

[1131] Get the fuck out of here.

[1132] There's no way.

[1133] I'm giving that lady a nickel.

[1134] I would...

[1135] I can't live.

[1136] Price apartment, I should have taken it in retrospect.

[1137] Yeah, I can't live here.

[1138] Too crazy.

[1139] So what happened when you did your charts?

[1140] It's like the first time I've, like, I've never been to a psychic or no shit like that.

[1141] So, and then she wanted to know my time.

[1142] I gave her my date of birth, but she wanted to know the time.

[1143] I was like, I don't know the time when I was born.

[1144] So I kind of, she just kind of, there's maybe three types of times, and she just gave me one.

[1145] And there were some things.

[1146] she'd start talking about your Jupiter is lined up with your anus and this is a good time and it sounds funny but that's exactly what she said but then she was there was some things she was kind of accurate about you had a you got a job and so -and -so that paid decent amount of money blah blah blah blah so I was like okay she was in it wasn't far off yeah but they'd ask you questions and they start fucking figuring your personality out and then they plot and think about oh this card means this is the joker so you might be a comedian come on man I mean it's all nonsense all of it's nonsense they google you it's nonsense she could have googled it there's something there is that's the thing about psychic right right there's something to astrology don't get me wrong nobody get me wrong I think there is something to it I think they've been doing it for a long long long fucking time for a reason and I think that there's probably some sort of an effect that the gravity of other planets and the way it aligns has on a person.

[1147] Some sort of an effect.

[1148] I don't know how much of it is real, though.

[1149] The idea that they could tell your future.

[1150] That's the thing that was blowing my mind that she could say, she could chart me as an individual.

[1151] It was like, I don't know if it's a feeling like, I don't think I'm that important enough where you could like put my, date and the time and then check when the moon hit when I was born and even the problem I having with it the big problem is she doesn't even know when you were born she was a day yeah but that's supposed to make a big difference is the the time in which you're born and I didn't all of it I didn't care enough to like go get it for her like I could ask my mother but I you know I was skeptical but she was yeah she had a few things right I don't know how much of it was just an experience of good guessing or you know most of it's that dude you ever hear pendulet talk about that how they do those things no he's pretty enlightening when it comes to all sorts of scams and confidence games and how they can make get you to believe that you know that you're not revealing anything but they're leading you in certain ways and for the average person they're pretty effective there's a bunch of effective techniques where they i see you're There's a woman in your past.

[1152] There's, my grandmother, it's, I'm not sure how old she was.

[1153] My grandmother died when she was 50.

[1154] Yes.

[1155] And there's something, something she didn't get to do.

[1156] Well, she always wanted to be a dancer.

[1157] This is amazing.

[1158] So she did.

[1159] This is amazing.

[1160] They just fucking, they just start doing that and leading you and you talk along with them.

[1161] And I'm, I can't help me out.

[1162] There's an R. Is there an R somewhere?

[1163] Oh my God, her name was Regina.

[1164] that's amazing they start doing shit like that and it's just people find a reason for that r um de riggio yes that's it people find a reason for that r they find a place for it they just look for a place for it you know what that's like that's like uh so there was this detective he quit the force but he realized he put this chicken jail based on interrogating her years ago like when he went back and listened to the tapes like there was a i think it was a robbery or maybe a murder but he interviewed her and interrogated her for a long time and then she kind of confessed to it at the end but she admitted some stuff or gave them evidence along the lines like they were like you had Chinese food right and she's like yeah I had Chinese food and then she told him but he didn't know or realize that he showed her the receipt so when she mentioned eating orange chicken or whatever was on the receipt he thought okay i got her she is involved in this like and there was just a lot of stuff where over the course of hours of interrogation the cop gives you a lot of stuff and it becomes your fact and you start saying it back right and then what you think you got her but you gave them all this info i'll go you one crazy they actually used that in india to convict a woman of murder based on the results of a brain scan.

[1165] What?

[1166] Yep.

[1167] It's called fMRI, and fMRI is a functional magnetic imagery, whatever an MRI is.

[1168] But the idea is that they can detect certain aspects of your mind or certain aspects of your thinking.

[1169] And one of them is knowledge of a subject.

[1170] So say if they showed you a photo of the crime scene and you were.

[1171] reacted in a certain way that certain way would indicate knowledge of a crime scene but here's a problem we don't know if that knowledge of the crime scene was put in your head during an interrogation right was put in your head during the um the media discussing finding out like if you're being charged with murder let's say murder you're gonna fucking read everything like holy she if you're innocent let's right let's pretend i mean for the sake of let's this is a totally new scenario ladies gentlemen forget about this case in india i have no attachment to it.

[1172] I don't know the actual whether someone was guilty or not guilty.

[1173] I don't know.

[1174] I just know that fMRI was used to come up with a conviction.

[1175] If you were not guilty, but they thought you were, they're going to talk to you for a long, and you're going to be like, what is this place?

[1176] Like it happened in a kitchen.

[1177] What fucking kitchen?

[1178] They'll show you a picture.

[1179] Have you ever seen this kitchen?

[1180] You're like, I have fucking never seen that kitchen.

[1181] And then later they give you the fMRI and they ask you about the kitchen.

[1182] Oh, he has knowledge of the kitchen.

[1183] It is possible that, so this is an exact science.

[1184] It is possible that you can somehow or they give someone a memory and they can accept it as their own.

[1185] You can actually read it on a machine.

[1186] And that's what happens in law, whether they use the, what's the name of the machine?

[1187] FMRI.

[1188] I'm just shocked that India even has that technology.

[1189] Like, the place that has water, doesn't have water, running water in most places.

[1190] Well, India has a lot of fucking people, man. There's a lot of fucking people in India.

[1191] And they're wasting time on convincing somebody with, like, a mind scan?

[1192] India has a lot of high -level technology, too, man. Why do you think when you make tech calls, go to fucking India?

[1193] You know, there's a lot of people over there.

[1194] It's just a completely different sort of an environment, having a billion people on your planet.

[1195] And they have nukes.

[1196] Yeah.

[1197] Yeah.

[1198] They've got to defend themselves against Pakistan.

[1199] They do.

[1200] They've got that beef.

[1201] They hate each other, and they're right there looking at each other.

[1202] Dun -tah!

[1203] Waiting for one old dude.

[1204] Fuck you.

[1205] As they're going out.

[1206] I think that's fucked up that they, so she's in jail or whatever their version of prison is?

[1207] Allegedly.

[1208] I mean, who knows?

[1209] I mean, she might have been a murderer.

[1210] I don't know.

[1211] I don't know what happened.

[1212] I just know that the idea of being able to read functional memory, I'm completely ignorant about the science behind it.

[1213] So when I talk to people that were scientists, they said it's very dangerous.

[1214] It's very dangerous.

[1215] It's not.

[1216] It's minority reportish.

[1217] Yeah.

[1218] Well, not only that, it's not ready.

[1219] Right.

[1220] You're like, this is not indicative.

[1221] It's like, one thing, say if I could read your mind and you could say, Ian, you show me your bathroom, please.

[1222] And you could show me the image of your bathroom.

[1223] I can actually see it.

[1224] I go, okay.

[1225] And until it's like quantified like that, you're looking at someone's brain, they have functional knowledge of a bathroom.

[1226] He's a fucking murderer.

[1227] Yeah, like we got them.

[1228] Yeah.

[1229] Like, that's the new swearing on the Bible.

[1230] Yeah.

[1231] And as if swearing on the Bible isn't shaky enough.

[1232] Exactly.

[1233] Let's make this thing shake it.

[1234] Let's use a brain scan.

[1235] That's so true.

[1236] With no factual basis for it.

[1237] Well, memories, memory's real weird, man. They've been able to introduce memories in mice now.

[1238] They've been able to introduce artificial memories.

[1239] Oh, yeah.

[1240] They've been doing it in humans for hundreds of years.

[1241] Probably, right?

[1242] Manchurian candidate type shit.

[1243] Most of the girls updated try to insert artificial memory.

[1244] Remember the time Oh, those are hilarious It's called lying It's called lying and pimping Yeah Sometimes people will fucking put things in your head And you're pretty sure they're right Like I don't I know I don't remember anything Like sometimes people say Remember the time we did this And me and you and so on so And I said oh shit Like we like that's happening so much to me now Like I know my memory Is unreliable That's what the point I'm at That's hilarious I know mine is too Everybody's memory is unreliable People They morph their memories To make them more convenient For their knowledge of the past Whether it's as them as a victim Or as them as the winner Or as them as the You know Oh I didn't get my fair shape You know there was some Behind the scenes You were a fucking idiot So regular memory isn't reliable It's terrible But they're gonna use this machine Yeah exactly They're not ready yet But one day they will One day we'll be able to access each other's brains.

[1245] Just like we send each other photos, like if you were somewhere cool and you sent me a photo, I'd get it on my phone.

[1246] You're going to be able to see my, I'm going to be able to, you know, put public, so I want to make my, on my eyesight public, because I'm at Yellowstone, you know, and you go public with your vision, and you show everybody else, and you can put it up on a database where people draw from.

[1247] That'll be like the first step.

[1248] People will share their experiences.

[1249] A few people sneak in porn or them jerking off.

[1250] Brian.

[1251] People are going to share, experiences and then it'll just go to hey I'm Carl I'm always on this motherfucker's always on 24 7 you can watch them shit you can watch them jerk off you can watch them as sex and people just start they only live their life can't wait to get home and be Carl Carl's out there just doing ecstasy and banging bitches driving in the fast lane he's a fucking animal if Carl's channel became public everybody would want to just be inside Carl's head his eye channel yeah you could be the hottest selling yeah and people would start complaining they would say look man nobody is living a real life anymore everybody's living other people's lives he came up with a great concept of a movie you know that right yeah because your life is boring as fuck but you could just be a Carl Carl is out there bawling and if Paul gets if Carl gets shot boom you used to go back to regular life that's the risk because then you'd have to find a new channel to subscribe to right you know Carl's dead your favorite TV shows there yeah exactly let's follow Eddie Carl's best friend that would be a new art form the new art form will be living your life in a spectacular manner to which some people would want to actually give up being a real person so they could be you and experience it directly.

[1252] And you will become a million people.

[1253] They see through you.

[1254] We're not exactly sure where they're not they influence, Carl.

[1255] We think that Carl is acting independently, but it is possible if you think about it, that all those minds linked up together could form one unique and universal direction in which Carl might want to go.

[1256] Well, that's kind of like Instagram right now.

[1257] That's bananas.

[1258] But you're talking about the next level.

[1259] I'm taking it to the next level, son.

[1260] Because if Carl realizes he gets a lot of views when he's doing threesomes, then he's going to do more threesomes.

[1261] Of course.

[1262] And if he gets a lot of views when he realizes he's on a plane or in a jacuzzi or just he's going to do more of that.

[1263] Look, when a guy gets recognized for being a big fat guy and gets famous for being a fat guy, have you ever seen one of those guys talk to their agents?

[1264] And the agents will tell you, I've seen it happen with my own eyes.

[1265] Don't lose weight, man. If you lose weight, you're going to lose roles.

[1266] Right.

[1267] Why is that?

[1268] Because they've locked on to the idea of you as the fat guy.

[1269] Right.

[1270] They just decide.

[1271] They decide.

[1272] We're just going to just keep this going.

[1273] Don't fuck this up.

[1274] If you're willing to sacral gravy train.

[1275] People, yeah, they just keep eating so they'll stay fat and funny.

[1276] If you told the fat guy, like, hey, dude, people love eating.

[1277] And if you just, I just need you to just go fucking crazy.

[1278] If you just eat a lot, bro, all day, people are going to just be you.

[1279] There's a lot of fat people.

[1280] They're skinny in real life, but they could live like a fat guy through you, and we can make money.

[1281] Skechers is in on this.

[1282] Skechers wants to sponsor your eating show.

[1283] I mean, you get some guy who just all day does, he drinks fucking vodka and he eats subs.

[1284] It's just meatball subs, chicken parm, all day.

[1285] So people subscribe just so they can experience what it's like to be fucked up, drunk with a chicken, like a chicken parmesan sub greasy meatballs and sausage and pepper shit they're not allowed to eat anymore in their actual body follow calls drunk life follow that and every now and then Carl go to a massage parlor and get jerked off and like yeah but you can't tell your wife about that like Carl's doing some crazy shit what's he doing he had like three sandwiches yeah you beat Carl and you don't even tell everybody about Carl getting jerked off he's eating a sub while he's getting jerked off the kid's a maniac that's a lot like this problem is that's the next level shit man that's what's going to happen people are saying the kids are wasting their lives right just wasting lives sitting there watching tv you're not even out there doing anything that's just tv right tv is like the smoke signals of entertainment i mean it's beautiful for us but so was a smoke signal when you didn't know where the fuck the camp was where is everybody right they still oh there's a fuck i can find them that's a life saver especially when it's cold out that shit was a lifesaver right that's what tv is is the smoke signals of digital entertainment one day you're going to actually be that you're going to be in that guy's head sorry it's starting already slowly with reality shows and all that stuff but we're all going to be one everybody got facebook everybody got instagram everybody's on something shit's weird you can you can you know you just can't stream it the way you're talking about but you know that's coming that's going to happen it's going to be weird as fuck and it's going first take place through something like a google glass or something like that visor the visor You need to jump on that visor idea, son.

[1286] We need to do it.

[1287] Let's do it.

[1288] Come on.

[1289] Let's get in the visor game with me, bro.

[1290] I have my time sectioned out already.

[1291] I have no time for anything else.

[1292] He says I have my time.

[1293] There's no way that would make me more happy.

[1294] It's just not going to make me more happy.

[1295] We could be the Steve Jobs advisors.

[1296] Good luck with all that, dude.

[1297] I'm content.

[1298] I'm 100 % content.

[1299] I have no desire to take on any additional projects.

[1300] Like digital visors.

[1301] Do you know how difficult that shit would be to do?

[1302] What you need to do is contact Google.

[1303] No, I want to start off with just a regular visor.

[1304] I think that's what you have to do.

[1305] You have to first get your feet into being the best visor, you know, having like the Nike shoe.

[1306] That would be easy, dude.

[1307] Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[1308] It's an easy investment right now that can turn into like.

[1309] No, no, not easy enough for me to agree with you.

[1310] No, no. It's like, how much is this visor?

[1311] If you look at that visor, it's just a piece of plastic, you know?

[1312] It's like all you need to really pay for is like the thing on the top, like the head piece.

[1313] Right.

[1314] So it's like one of those Vegas vizers.

[1315] that Hunter S. Thompson used to wear, but it's just bigger.

[1316] Yeah, and it's down on your face.

[1317] Yeah, I can totally see it happening, man. The chick's an innervator.

[1318] Daft Punk.

[1319] She's smart shit.

[1320] What she should do is take, she should start this.

[1321] You should start this with her.

[1322] I will.

[1323] That's what you should do.

[1324] She should find her.

[1325] She's probably still got some of his money.

[1326] She's squirled away somewhere.

[1327] I've already looked at the erotic review.

[1328] I can't find you.

[1329] Some little fucking hole in the park, the brown bag, dug two feet under a tree.

[1330] Yeah, she's got, she didn't, you know.

[1331] Yeah, she didn't blow all of it.

[1332] She's, she's, she's, she's, she's, some of it from his wife.

[1333] You know that when you're 81 years old, if you're fucking a guy that's 81, the shit could end in any moment.

[1334] They know it.

[1335] They know it.

[1336] They plan for the future.

[1337] I doubt she didn't have like an ATM card or something.

[1338] I mean, it doesn't make any sense to me. She claims she has a job.

[1339] She's like his personal assistant or something higher, a better title than being peed on.

[1340] That's what she has.

[1341] I bet she doesn't have that job anymore.

[1342] I know.

[1343] In the interviewers, banana she says she just came from seeing donald sterling how is he and she's talking like well don't he's like a father figure to me and you know i'm just trying to help him right now so i was like this would be this is so bizarre that if it's true they're still in contact and kicking it like there's no other way an 81 year old guy gets to bang 20 year olds they have to be crazy that's the only way it works and you have to deal with everything You're 81 years old.

[1344] You have to buy her Bentley and you have to deal with 100 % crazy coming at you on a train all day long, fucking drama that's not real.

[1345] Drama that's not real.

[1346] Black guys on Instagram.

[1347] You got to deal with all that.

[1348] It all comes with this crazy bitch.

[1349] You got to just deal with it.

[1350] It's a part of the game.

[1351] It's a part of the game.

[1352] You got to accept it.

[1353] You got to accept it.

[1354] But the other thing, in her defense, what I heard, and I need to stop doing that, but I'm going to do it until we Google it, is that she was.

[1355] part of her job was to record everything.

[1356] He knew they were being recorded.

[1357] Yeah, he's recording it.

[1358] Yes.

[1359] He's recorded.

[1360] First, when I heard the tape, said, how did this bitch, like, she should, like, work for, be the spokesperson for the who she recorded this with.

[1361] Well, she records it.

[1362] She records it for him.

[1363] And then she just took his tape.

[1364] Or she didn't give it to him.

[1365] Right.

[1366] She might have had it and didn't give it to him.

[1367] But here's the deal.

[1368] If that's the deal.

[1369] truth, then that makes it no longer a crime.

[1370] Right.

[1371] Because it's only a crime in California if two people record something and one of them doesn't know about it.

[1372] But as long as both of them know about it, in California, it's not a crime.

[1373] Yeah, no, I heard it was, it's his shit.

[1374] And I don't know if she's taping it for him, but it makes kind of sense and I want it to make sense before we even Google it.

[1375] And then she palmed it.

[1376] So she's not as, as, she is devious as far as pushing him for the questions, but.

[1377] You know the whole It's almost like she got pushed into it Because you know the whole story She's getting sued By the wife Yeah So this was a self -defense move Yeah For sure Because like the wife is trying to get All the money back Like she bought her A condo And a bunch of other shit Look at us We're like a little TMZ Which is here No but there's a social Science thing to it And my thing is like There's a bunch of people here Who will not accept the rules of the game The wife is trying to sue.

[1378] Like, listen, wife, you made it to 80 or whatever with this dude and he's a billionaire.

[1379] There's no way that a younger chick in the way nature works is not going to get at your man or your man's going to get.

[1380] So for you to sue one of his younger chicks, that's against the laws of the game.

[1381] For him, not accepting that this young chick would fuck younger dudes, he's in denial himself.

[1382] and then she, she's just crazy.

[1383] Well, she's the type of girl that's willing to fuck an 80 -year -old billionaire.

[1384] That's what you get.

[1385] You don't, you know, either that or you go to another country.

[1386] Right.

[1387] And then you can't trust, if you're an 80 -year -old billionaire, you can't trust a girl who's willing to fuck you with tapes.

[1388] Exactly.

[1389] So there's like a lot of like, it's like three people fucking up.

[1390] You know what I thought was the most bizarre about all of it?

[1391] Apparently, I was correct.

[1392] And that what she, as far as the most recent story is that she was supposed to record his saying, his conversations because he would say things and then forgot he said him.

[1393] So he's got, he's dementia.

[1394] Right.

[1395] He's 81 years old.

[1396] He's old as fuck.

[1397] So he would say crazy things and then she would record him and, you know, and let him know, like, what he said.

[1398] Right.

[1399] Well, in this case, somehow or another, it got leaked.

[1400] how it got leaked to speculation but he knew he was being recorded right that is true so you can't it's against the law to record anyone like what if they don't say anything and it's just bathroom noises and stuff it's against the law still even if they don't talk in it absolutely in California if they don't know about it it's against the law you're not allowed to record people so their essence can be like if you just put a tape recorder down behind a toilet they don't say a word they just you know and then they leave that's still against a law even though they don't say it so they're just their spirit being in the room The noises of them being recorded, their actual physical presence being marked by the sound of their feet, I think that's probably illegal.

[1401] Really?

[1402] That's why they used to tape prank.

[1403] Yeah, you fucking criminal.

[1404] So I have to say to you.

[1405] It's a really weird.

[1406] So one sounds guilty as fuck why he's out.

[1407] This is a really weird person.

[1408] He's like, it's so specific.

[1409] If you take a tape and put it behind the bath, the toilet, in Burbank.

[1410] Whatever, whatever.

[1411] And the girl might happen to be a stripper.

[1412] Whatever, whatever.

[1413] I mean, that's, that combination is never going to happen.

[1414] But if it did.

[1415] and she didn't know that you were recording her pooping just interesting because I guess so recording like no no Brian that's not interesting fucking space is interesting when you talk about that you clam up and you're like oh you can't record people pooping whoa you know I thought was crazy about the whole thing is that he got a 2 .5 million fine that was a max like that's a weird thing man a fine like a 2 .5 million dollar fine Like I could see saying Like all right This guy's a piece of shit He shouldn't He shouldn't be able to own a team in our league Just because he's a such weak moral Moral character Let's get rid of him The guy's a dickhead let's get rid of him But to say you're gonna find him for being racist Since someone is being racist Like finable That's crazy There's an NBA constitution And under the Constitution That's the most you could find somebody and I don't know for I guess saying something detrimental against the entire league so what he said is under that so it's a two 5th 2 .5 was the max so that's like yeah it's the top that they're allowed to find anything hurting the NBA can be considered they can find him for doing anything because he's just one team but he's hurting the image of the whole right entity I get all that I just don't get how they think that they can find someone.

[1416] It's getting all the other owners nervous.

[1417] It sounds so crazy to find someone from being racist.

[1418] The amount that they agreed on to, like, the entire NBA, all the owners, they probably agreed to the amount.

[1419] And it's an amount that won't affect any of them.

[1420] Yeah, I bet you're right.

[1421] That's the maximum amount of $2 .5 million.

[1422] Oh, yeah.

[1423] Take it.

[1424] Everybody's good.

[1425] It's like, it's like, it's like, we spent $2 .5 .5 just to get to this meeting.

[1426] Well, it'll, they'll make $2 .5 in a way.

[1427] week just off the interest of all that money yeah that's with folks i don't even know what that means if you have a billion dollars you have a thousand million and a thousand million dollars constantly raining in percentages yeah if you just have some simple mutual funds that generate x amount of percent per month or x amount of percent off of your savings account i mean what is that if you have a savings account and you got a billion dollars in it i mean how much money do you get?

[1428] I mean, I know most of them don't have liquid assets like that.

[1429] They keep the money in a bunch of different things.

[1430] They have some liquid, some real estate, they diversify and stocks and bonds and all that of the shit.

[1431] But just the sheer numbers that that money is generating if you're doing it right should be staggering.

[1432] They should get a million bucks a month.

[1433] There's nothing.

[1434] It just comes in.

[1435] I'm shocked that he's just still a billionaire.

[1436] Yeah.

[1437] He's in 1 .9.

[1438] Yeah.

[1439] 1 .9 billion.

[1440] Oh, that's all?

[1441] In 80 years?

[1442] What the fuck has he been doing?

[1443] How many bitches has he been giving money to?

[1444] Buying Bentley's and shit.

[1445] It's ridiculous that the wife can sue.

[1446] Yeah, I don't think that that suit is going to stand up.

[1447] It shouldn't stand up.

[1448] But it doesn't matter.

[1449] She has to defend it.

[1450] Yeah, she has to defend it.

[1451] Yeah.

[1452] You know, it's one thing if you sued a divorce, you know, you can't have a 20 -year -old bitch on the side and give her fucking Ferraris.

[1453] Get out of my house.

[1454] I'm done to you, you fuck it.

[1455] I'm suing.

[1456] That makes sense.

[1457] But to sue the girl because your husband gave her gifts.

[1458] And your husband is standing right next to you.

[1459] That's so ridiculous.

[1460] How are you going to skip over him and go to this chick?

[1461] That is one of the, just one of the many reasons why marriage is preposterous.

[1462] Proposterous.

[1463] It's so ridiculous.

[1464] The idea is so stupid that you get linked to someone financially.

[1465] You lock in place and if that person gives someone some shit and you don't like it that came from my money no it didn't he spent it but he can't spend money on whatever the fuck he wants to spend it on if he bought a house just off some person he just bought a house would you say you can't fucking buy that house you can't stop the dude from buying a house you know you might win in court and get half of his money but you can't change what he bought you can't he bought it he bought her a fucking car he bought her a house that's that's gone that's just like that's i feel yeah that's it's gone it's just like buying it from someone and uh you know and keeping it for yourself it's gone him and his wife have a really really interesting relationship just based on what i've seen like uh she one one statement i don't know the order statement one statement is like she does not condone him and he's i'm his estranged wife we're not together then within days of that she's seen with him defending him they came out of a restaurant together and she's like he's not racist and then I saw something today where she's glad that they took the team from him what so so she's going back and forth she's going back and forth and she's obviously in his life or acting or getting maybe she's just getting paid and maybe she just wants a team to land in a lap or keeping it but it's Could be Yeah You never fucking know Yeah You know especially An 80 year old dude Who doesn't remember shit Right And he's got to get a recording Every time he talks You know annoying That must be for the wife Yeah It's like look you stupid Motherfucker This is the week we go to Hawaii Get your shit together Let's go You know She's probably tired of him It's probably tired of all And then oh He's a sweetie He's not racist You leave my My robot alone Donald it's just bananas yeah he the poor bastard he's just an old senile racist shithead yeah and a lot of that shit is like you said dementia and senality and it's like the only thing like when everybody wanted him to get fired like when it first tapes or it came out I wasn't down with that because I wasn't as offended by the tapes because it's like what a shocker that an 80 year old guy was racist but when When Adam Silver, is that the NBA commissioner, gave the speech, like, I was on board with the speech.

[1466] I went from not caring whether they fired on him or not, but when Adam Silver gave the speech and said, banned for life, it was not just the words, but the way he delivered it that made me believe in this guy as a commissioner.

[1467] Right.

[1468] And that he wanted to fix some shit and that he was doing it.

[1469] he was just doing it just for the good of humanity and that kind of that kind of made me say okay kick him out but before I didn't care right I don't know if you're seeing the speech I didn't see it but I just felt something I felt like some honesty and integrity there well that's important man look I mean especially important if you look imagine if you were the guy who was running the NBA right and you weren't a racist and you got this racist old dickhead that owns the clippers and he says some stupid shit and you're like you dumb motherfucker do you understand that 80 % of this league is black right and you say stupid shit like that like this the whole reason why basketball is popular is because the athletes are so fucking good do you understand that 80 % of these athletes are black so i mean just look at the numbers you stupid fuck like you're ruining everything and then being a new a good human just being a good human being do you want your business to be associated imagine if you whatever you ran a a chain of comedy clubs you know and you found out that someone in your chain of comedy clubs someone who owns one of your chains was racist was saying racist shit you'd be like the fuck out of here get out of here out done i don't want this guy associated with me right you'd boot him out immediately you'd have to feel like that if you were a person of integrity and you were running something like the NBA.

[1470] But it was just like, like, like when, so, so Donald Sterling makes these tapes.

[1471] That I can accept as like, not surprising because that's what I expect.

[1472] That's what I mean.

[1473] That's what I expect.

[1474] But when another rich guy, right, makes the speech that he makes and with the feeling that he makes, that's what I don't expect.

[1475] Like the, the honesty and the genuineness that I felt, I didn't expect that.

[1476] Well, shit, I want to watch it now because I've only heard them making fun of it on Ope and Anthony.

[1477] Oh, that's hilarious open.

[1478] They were crushing it.

[1479] They said that he looked like Nospherado and it looked like he should have risen behind the podium like popping out of a coffin.

[1480] That's so stupid.

[1481] Yeah.

[1482] What is his name again?

[1483] I think it's Adam Silver.

[1484] Yeah.

[1485] NBA president, speech.

[1486] Donald Sterling.

[1487] like he just seemed upset like he really took this personally it would have been it would have been fascinating if they didn't react it would have been fascinating like what kind of a blowback there would be I think it would be pretty substantial yeah it would have been it would have been very substantial if they didn't do something about it and it's crazy it was like the clippers are like heroes now everywhere they shell everybody goes bananas the clippers are so corny they did this uh this protesting before one of the games where they all walked to the middle of water things inside out and then dropped their things on the floor and then they walked away as if they just changed civil rights I'm like get the fuck out of here you ain't do shit like what the fuck is that it will be famous though for it if you stop and think about it like this is the biggest civil rights this is the biggest civil rights issue has ever has existed recently in modern sports yeah what is it besides Jimmy the Greek Jimmy the Greek I think got railroaded he said some facts he said some facts that were very uncomfortable for people they were uncomfortable people I'd had still to this day don't get it like what did he say they used to breed like he didn't he didn't say he did it he said back then they bred big black bucks of a conversation that allegedly included Clippers owner Donald Sterling the NBA commenced an investigation which among other things included an interview of Mr. Sterling.

[1488] That investigation is now complete.

[1489] The central findings of the investigation are that the man whose voice is heard on the recording and on a second recording from the same conversation that was released on Sunday is Mr. Sterling and that the hateful opinions voiced by that man are those of Mr. Sterling.

[1490] The views expressed by Mr. Sterling are deeply offensive and harmful, that they came from an NBA owner only heightens the damage and my personal outrage.

[1491] Sentiments of this kind are contrary to the principles of inclusion and respect that form the foundation of our diverse, multicultural, and that the views expressed by Mr. Sterling came from within an institution that has historically taken he's nervous such a leadership role in matters of race relations but i like that because current and former players coaches fans and partners of the NBA to question their very association with the league great question i do to them and pioneers of the game like earl lloyd chuck cooper this is what they're mocking sweetwater clifton oh sweetwater clifton the great bill russell and particularly magic johnson i apologize i guess they were in the photos is that what that was about those guys i think so accordingly yeah effective immediately i think bill russell was too i am banning Mr. Sterling for life from any association with the Clippers organization or the NBA.

[1492] Mr. Sterling may not attend any NBA games or practices.

[1493] He may not be present at any Clippers facility, and he may not participate in any business or player personnel decisions involving the team.

[1494] he will also be barred from attending NBA Board of Governors' meetings or participating in any other league activity.

[1495] I like it.

[1496] I like that he did it.

[1497] You know why I like that he did it?

[1498] Because fuck old dickheads like that.

[1499] Just fuck a dude who thinks like that.

[1500] Right.

[1501] Who cares?

[1502] Get rid of him.

[1503] Yeah.

[1504] It's not like he's hurting.

[1505] It's not like you're casting out anyone out in the street.

[1506] Yeah.

[1507] You're just saying your league doesn't tolerate racism.

[1508] I mean, and even by financially penalizing, him 2 .5 million, which is a pittance to a wealthy man like that, that fucking team is going to be worth an ass load of money.

[1509] And they're going to sell it, and guess who makes the money?

[1510] Donald fucking Sterling.

[1511] So by this whole controversy, his team's probably way more valuable.

[1512] And he's selling the team at the peak.

[1513] This is the best his team has ever been.

[1514] Oprah.

[1515] The only way, she's not buying it.

[1516] No. No. The only way that it's not going to work is if people get together and decide.

[1517] You know what?

[1518] Fuck this dude.

[1519] Nobody buy the clippers.

[1520] Make him get rid of it for, make them, make them sell it to the lowest bidder.

[1521] And, you know, make sure that nobody bids more than $100 for the fucking clippers.

[1522] Just make sure that he gets it for the highest bidder.

[1523] But that, like, people, like, make an agreement.

[1524] I can own it then.

[1525] I don't know how the players going to get paid after that.

[1526] You're going to have to figure out a way.

[1527] My retarded idea has got a lot of holes in it.

[1528] There's a lot of holes in it.

[1529] but if you could I mean if you really wanted to come up with yeah if people really wanted to collude and come up with one is that illegal what happens if we do that that shit's illegal as hell yeah you can't collude that's like anti -practice right or anti -fair yeah anti -something something yeah there's probably some collusion penalties that you would incur but if you can get people all the rich dudes with money say you know what we're not buying a clip but this guy's not going to get any money from us then the players are fucked you know the only problem with that is it's like property It's like if somebody buys a house next to you for $50, then the value of your shit goes down.

[1530] So then the other NBA owners are going to be like, nah, they're powerful enough to...

[1531] Yeah.

[1532] Sell it to a charity and then rich guy buys it from the charity.

[1533] If someone says like the NBA says like the, they want $500 million for the Lakers, and they go, $500 million, you know, the clipper sold for $100.

[1534] You guys are being crazy.

[1535] We don't mind you make it a little money, but this is disrespectful.

[1536] Treat me like I'm an idiot.

[1537] You don't think I read the paper?

[1538] Oh, there was special circumstances.

[1539] There's no special circumstances, bro.

[1540] Your shit goes down, too.

[1541] Yeah, you don't, they will give you a million?

[1542] How about a million?

[1543] How about one million?

[1544] It's a lot of money to do that.

[1545] We're giving it away.

[1546] It's tough to get a million dollars and this is not, you know, we have fucking expenses, okay?

[1547] We've got to pay the trainer and this fucking basketball court needs wax.

[1548] It's a lot of money involved and owning a goddamn team.

[1549] It's not like we're just going to be making money, hand over a fist.

[1550] They had to fuck the whole thing up, man. This is what Jimmy the Greek said.

[1551] He said black people are better athletes.

[1552] He said black people are better athletes.

[1553] I don't know.

[1554] I think he's right.

[1555] I think he's right.

[1556] Is that right?

[1557] I think he's right.

[1558] Of course he's right.

[1559] He's at least 80 % right.

[1560] Yeah, this is what he said.

[1561] This is the quote.

[1562] The quote is a little, you know, it's a little sketch.

[1563] We're talking about 1988 too, by the way.

[1564] Jimmy the Greek wouldn't last five minutes.

[1565] today.

[1566] They would catch him on cell phone.

[1567] It's outrageous shit.

[1568] You know, a couple of whiskeys in him, eating a hoagie.

[1569] It says, the black is a better athlete to begin with because he's been bred to be that way.

[1570] Can we just stop there?

[1571] That's one of the black.

[1572] The black is a problem.

[1573] I like where he's going, but the black is a problem.

[1574] Yeah, can you imagine some, like, Louis Farrakhan guy?

[1575] The white.

[1576] Yeah, the white.

[1577] I was referring to people.

[1578] white believes he is of a high breed because he was not bred to be because of the high thighs and big thighs that goes up into his back and they could jump higher and run faster because of their bigger thighs and he's bred to be the better athlete because this goes back all the way to the civil war when during the slave trade the slave owner would breed the big black to his big woman so that he could have a big black kid so the facts are there but it's pretty much what Leslie articulation articulation is a little on the crude side yeah on the crude side yeah yeah yeah so apparently he was on the network talking about you know giving the inside scoop on gambling That's what he used to do.

[1579] And he did it for 12 years.

[1580] And he said that, and that's where they ended it for him.

[1581] CBS fired him.

[1582] And no, I don't think anybody ever hired him after that.

[1583] Nah.

[1584] It was tough.

[1585] He went down.

[1586] Yeah.

[1587] And did he die?

[1588] Yeah, he eventually died.

[1589] Yeah.

[1590] He died, like, broken.

[1591] He couldn't associate with people that he used to talk to every day and everything that he loved, the sport.

[1592] But, you know, it's taken from him.

[1593] He died way back in 96.

[1594] It's 77 years of age.

[1595] That's fucking crazy.

[1596] It's amazing how one thing, too, man, one thing.

[1597] Just if you say something like that, you can say some stupid shit.

[1598] But if you say something that people think is a racist thing, and you get stuck, what?

[1599] Paula Dean.

[1600] Paula Dean.

[1601] Yeah, well, sort of.

[1602] Everything's gone for her.

[1603] Nah, not really.

[1604] She's still doing fucking tours and selling books.

[1605] And that doesn't seem to have affected her as much.

[1606] much she's got some tour that they were just making fun of on some website i mean she'd lost like over a hundred sponsors so did she yeah in her restaurant i think is closed now oh she had a restaurant yeah that's where all this happened are you sure that it's closed find out but we'll google the repercussions suffered by paula dean um i wonder if um it's different today too because you could go on like a website and and you could sort of like apologize or argue you your position or tell say you know like did you see that jeremy clarkson thing no i'll say pull up that um brian abandon that for a moment and pull up uh jeremy clarkson find for using the n word or in trouble in trouble for using the n word that's the guy in england yeah me any minor yeah yeah yeah that was stupid oh he's an idiot well these guys have done this before i mean i think he's a hilarious guy sometimes but they've said some really racist shit pull it up i'm sure he got on tv and apologized he made it or on youtube and he apologized for this thing jeremy clarkson is one of the bbc's best known and well -paid anchors he fronts top gear which is a popular car program which last year became the most widely watched factual tv show in the world here in the uk klarkson is known for his edgy humor but this time he may have gone too far Video of Clarkson apparently using racist language has been leaked to the British media.

[1607] In this snippet, you can hear him mumble the N -word.

[1608] Eerie -meenie -money -mo.

[1609] Really squeals, let him go, eny -meenie -mine -money -mo.

[1610] The clip was filmed several years ago and it was never broadcast and Clarkson initially denied using the term at all.

[1611] But after the video was posted online, he apologised and asked for forgiveness.

[1612] Please be assured, I did everything in my...

[1613] power to not use that word and as I'm sitting here begging your forgiveness for the fact that obviously my efforts weren't quite good enough.

[1614] The BBC issued a statement saying it made it absolutely clear to him the standards of the BBC expects on air and off.

[1615] We've left him in no doubt about how seriously we view this.

[1616] Okay.

[1617] Here's one interesting thing about the editing of Clarkson's apology is that what he said was that he he did it three times he did three takes and one of the takes he tried to say the and it sounded like that and he sent a letter to them making sure that the editors didn't put that in so they didn't that was 2012 so it's just sort of coming out now but um i didn't even i i always thought it was tiger what do you mean catch a tiger by the toe oh tiger so you've seen that before no the fucking nursery rhyme oh yeah yeah my daughters use it yeah that's how they pick they get a little cup full of water before they go to bed at night it's like a little ritual they like drinking water before they go to bed and they want to choose which one they get so each night one of them will get to iny -mini -mony -mo so they'll go iny -mini -moh but it's catch a tiger I've never heard that's how I always thought it I never even heard it when you're saying this you're talking about like the original original like this is like a Jim Crow slavery nursery rhyme well I don't think it is I mean he's using it as one but I've always heard it is catch a Tiger by the toe.

[1618] And you could add a racist word to anything.

[1619] Yeah, yeah.

[1620] I've always heard that, but this might go back that far.

[1621] That might be where he actually got it from.

[1622] It might be because he's in England, you know, in England, if it does go back all the way to England.

[1623] I mean, it might have been one of those things like powdered wigs that got over here.

[1624] Got over here, we swapped it around.

[1625] And I'm like, let's make it tigers.

[1626] You shouldn't, you know, you know.

[1627] But he's also said a lot of dumb, racist shit before.

[1628] They were slagging on Mexicans in the worst way ever once.

[1629] They were just generally talking about making a Mexican car.

[1630] And then they were joking around about, could you imagine being born a Mexican?

[1631] You know, what would it be like to be a Mexican?

[1632] There's really bad jokes.

[1633] It was, pull that shit up.

[1634] Pull it, pull it up.

[1635] Top gear Mexican remarks.

[1636] It was really gross, man. Because it was so obvious that they were trying to.

[1637] to set up jokes.

[1638] It was real obvious.

[1639] Like, for, as a comic, it's awkward to watch because it's real clunky.

[1640] And then the payoff is just racist.

[1641] It's racism.

[1642] Just total racism.

[1643] There wasn't anything good about it.

[1644] You want a Mexican car, because cars reflect national characteristics, don't they?

[1645] So German cars are sort of very built and musicians.

[1646] Italian cars are a bit flamboyant and quick.

[1647] Mexican car is just going to be a lazy, feckless flat -in -to -old.

[1648] leaning against a fence asleep looking at a cactus with a blanket with a hole in the middle on as a coat keep it going because it gets crazier oh it's edited fettless so yeah oh it gets crazier it says you got the wrong one if you try to find where that goes on from lively version they shouldn't have that crow I've said some racist shit before but this is offensive well to push it pull it ahead of sir because we already heard mostly having cars be flamboyant and quick, Mexican sports car is 33 ,000 pounds.

[1649] That isn't enough.

[1650] No, it isn't enough, because somebody's paid for that to be developed and it's got to be shipped open.

[1651] That's 800 quids of the car there.

[1652] Oh, you say that though, but they do say in their blurb, it's got rack and pinion steering.

[1653] Wow, it's got steering.

[1654] I'm sorry, but just imagine waking up and remembering you're Mexico.

[1655] That's what I'm talking about.

[1656] Wow.

[1657] It'd be brilliant because you could just go straight back.

[1658] to sleep again.

[1659] Oh, I'm going to do all day.

[1660] That's why we're not going to get any complaints about this because the Mexican embassy, the ambassador is going to be sitting there with a remote control like this.

[1661] They won't complain.

[1662] It's fine.

[1663] Happy Sunday.

[1664] Unbelievable.

[1665] So, unbelievable.

[1666] So unbelievable, is three Cinco de Mayo?

[1667] Yeah.

[1668] Whoops.

[1669] So, yeah, this guy is.

[1670] My Mexican friends do not tolerate this.

[1671] So he's been saying racist shit.

[1672] That shows been saying racist shit.

[1673] I think it's a good show.

[1674] They say funny shit.

[1675] Jeremy Clarkson's hilarious.

[1676] But that, you know, Maybe it's just a different attitude over there.

[1677] Maybe it's a cultural thing.

[1678] I think it's a superiority complex.

[1679] Yeah.

[1680] For sure.

[1681] And just the fact that, I guess, when did that episode air?

[1682] A couple years ago, I think.

[1683] And no blowback?

[1684] There was some blowback, but not enough to cancel it.

[1685] They just said it was the number one show, reality show in the world, essentially, non -scripted show in the world.

[1686] But it is scripted.

[1687] It's obviously scripted.

[1688] That was all scripted.

[1689] All that shit.

[1690] I mean, did they say nonfiction?

[1691] Is that what they said?

[1692] Whatever it is, nonfiction, non -scripted.

[1693] That was so obviously scripted.

[1694] It was gross.

[1695] And that whole thing of imagine waking up and remembering your Mexican, that is a crazy thing to say.

[1696] Stone cold.

[1697] Say that to Oscar Dale Hoyer.

[1698] You know?

[1699] Say that's the most ridiculous thing to say ever.

[1700] The idea that that would be enough to be a joke, like a setup and a punchline.

[1701] And the audience was laughing too, so it's like, I don't even like where Mexican comics make Mexican jokes You know Anthony Bourdain put a Tumblr blog entry recently yesterday about Mexico about how crazy is it that we love Mexican food we love their style of clothing we love a lot of their architecture we love all these different things about Mexico that come from Mexico but we don't love Mexico like what is it like that Mexico has this negative connotation.

[1702] It just goes into how important their culture has been food -wise, how whenever he worked at a restaurant, there's always the Mexicans that hooked him up and helped him out and some of the hardest working people he's ever met and the most dedicated to cooking and all these different things.

[1703] And he made this great point.

[1704] Like, what the fuck is it about us that has this weird prejudice towards Mexico and Mexican people when so much great shit has come from that culture?

[1705] Like, clearly it's a country that's in.

[1706] turmoil financially and leadership wise and the drug war and all that I mean there's obviously problems with Mexico but to ignore all the amazing shit that they've created and I mean just go all the way back to when you know the Aztecs were building these gigantic fucking pyramids here these beautiful structures go back to the the Mayans all essentially I mean all that eventually became the people of Mexico if you go down to like Chechnica where the Mayan temple is you still see people that are they're Mayan, man. I mean, you can call Mexican if you want, but they're like four foot five, and they have these crazy, like, long like American Indian looking faces.

[1707] Like, they look very different.

[1708] Like, there's some people down like in the Yucatan that they're essentially descendants of the Mayans, man. I mean, that is a part of Mexican culture.

[1709] And Anthony Bourdain makes a really interesting point about that.

[1710] That's a dope article.

[1711] I'm going to stop being racist.

[1712] Because No, he's right, as far as that article is concerned.

[1713] It's just, you know, I think racism is like the main ingredient to it is insecurity.

[1714] And just, you know, just in anything, even in comedy or anything, people always find a way to put themselves above another person.

[1715] Sometimes that involves color and race.

[1716] And sometimes people with money, you know, there might be somebody else's same color.

[1717] And they have more money, and they'll find a way to put them down.

[1718] So there's classism.

[1719] It's all rooted in, like, insecurity.

[1720] And they could do a lot of damage.

[1721] It's just fucked up.

[1722] It is fucked up.

[1723] And you know what else you see is a weird place?

[1724] You see it with famous people.

[1725] Like, you ever be hanging around with a couple of famous dudes and a more famous person will walk in and just trump the famous person?

[1726] Like, you ever have to do one of those, like, Fox events where all these, like, actors all get together.

[1727] And they're, like, they have, like, almost like a pecking order.

[1728] And they'll treat the other ones like shit because this one's on a TV show.

[1729] Right.

[1730] These two guys, I watched these two guys argue once, and one of them was an actor who did films, and the other one was an actor who did television.

[1731] Oh, shit.

[1732] And the actor who did films was saying, no, no, no, you do shit.

[1733] I do films.

[1734] Don't say you do what I do.

[1735] And they were like, looking at each, like he was like saying, you do television, I do films.

[1736] And they were, they were bitching at each other.

[1737] And that's what they were using.

[1738] The one guy was holding over the TV star's head that he's like, and he's like, he's like, he was like, he was like, he was like, he was.

[1739] a loser.

[1740] He was a fucking TV show and some dude's calling him a loser.

[1741] I can understand if he was talking to a soap opera star, but come on, man. Even if you were, did you hear about that soap opera star that did ayahuasca and he fucking quit his job.

[1742] Oh, for real?

[1743] Yeah, some dude on days of our lives, he was like, fuck this.

[1744] He did ayahuasca, tripped his balls off.

[1745] He got opened up.

[1746] Yeah, he got opened way the fuck up.

[1747] He came back and he said, this is just nonsense.

[1748] I'm not doing this anymore.

[1749] Right.

[1750] Yeah, there he is.

[1751] quit days of our lives How long has he been on there?

[1752] I don't know If he's been on there They all want to quit though man I had a buddy Who was on a soap opera for a long time He fucking hated it He'd rather not work Than be on a soap opera Why did he do it Keep doing it He was trying to be an actor And you know When you're trying to be an actor And you have the choice You can work as a bartender Or you can work as a soap star Like well you know what A lot of people have made it From Sopsterer to legitimate But there's a certain amount of time You can only, you have to bail.

[1753] Like, as far as, like, the industry classism, I think, they look at you.

[1754] If you're on a soap for too long, they go, this motherfucker's a soap actor.

[1755] It's like the fat guy thing, just talking about.

[1756] They know you for being a soap opera actor.

[1757] Listen, you've been a villain on this soap opera.

[1758] It's been amazing for 50 years.

[1759] And you're going to continue to do that.

[1760] Like, no, no, I'm about to break out.

[1761] We're about to go mainstream.

[1762] No, we don't allow it.

[1763] We don't allow it.

[1764] I get that, I get that, too.

[1765] Do you?

[1766] Yeah, not the villain thing, but, like, when I went to Montreal the last time, two years ago.

[1767] The comedy festival.

[1768] Comedy festival.

[1769] It didn't matter how good I did.

[1770] They were looking at 25 -year -olds and anybody who was older who was a star.

[1771] If you fell in the middle like me, Zex ran over you.

[1772] Really?

[1773] Like, you're done.

[1774] You didn't do it at the time.

[1775] It was just that.

[1776] But if you were 25 and had one good joke in your set, then it's like the youth rush.

[1777] That's interesting.

[1778] But it was good for me to see that.

[1779] And I was like, that and a few other things is like, I got to figure out a way to get my shit together.

[1780] That's really fascinating, man. So that's just like what they're selling.

[1781] Right.

[1782] They're just trying to sell young.

[1783] Right.

[1784] Yeah, they are.

[1785] They're selling youth.

[1786] Wow.

[1787] Wow.

[1788] My manager spoke to my ex -agent.

[1789] Like, I had the agent before I had the manager.

[1790] And my manager was like, we got to get Ian more money for these college gigs or these shows.

[1791] And my agent told my manager, Ian's time has passed.

[1792] It's the most you can get for him.

[1793] Whoa.

[1794] Funny, it didn't matter, nothing.

[1795] You know what's really stupid about that?

[1796] And all the things that you do, like, as an art form.

[1797] being a comedian like being young is probably the least important because being older you're going to have more knowledge you're going to have more opinions on things you recognize bullshit easier you'll see the bullshit in yourself you recognize you but you become so much better as you get older as a comic that the young guy is like man when I was 21 I always say this I sucked I was a terrible comedian and one of the reasons why I was a terrible comedian is fucking everybody's terrible when they're 21 you might have a couple of good jokes you might have a couple of he he's and ha ha's when you start making points if you're making any points about anything in your 21 nobody wants to listen to you dude you're too dumb just very few people that are 21 years old that can carry a nuanced point on stage in front of a room full of strangers about a controversial issue and say it in a way it's going to make everybody laugh hysterically it's rare you get your rare chapels you got your rare you know I'm sure Eddie Murphy when he was young was crushing it yeah you know it wasn't as like it wasn't point right point but he was just he was just he's just he's at that natural funny ability.

[1798] Killing it.

[1799] But for the most part, most 21 -year -olds are dog shit.

[1800] They're just dog shit.

[1801] They're kids.

[1802] They don't know anything.

[1803] They don't know anything.

[1804] Yeah.

[1805] But the business doesn't care.

[1806] And to me, funny is young.

[1807] As long as you're funny, it's young.

[1808] Like, people just want to laugh.

[1809] And if you're funny, they don't give a fuck how old you are.

[1810] Like this guy, like when I was a kid, I was watching Benny Hill because he was fucking funny.

[1811] Yeah.

[1812] His age never matter to me, but now they're making that shit matter.

[1813] Well, I think they want to sell you like a symbol, you know, that girls are going to get into you.

[1814] It's going to, you know, it's going to be like when Dane Cook was in his MySpace Prime, you know, they're going to flock to see your shows.

[1815] Oh my God.

[1816] Right.

[1817] And you got to admit that that's an attractant, whether it's as a singer, it's an attracting as an actor, and it could be as a comedian, too.

[1818] Right.

[1819] But not if you're really in a stand -up comedy.

[1820] And if you really in a stand -up comedy, you go to see Louis C .K. He's in his 40s.

[1821] He's fat and he's hilarious.

[1822] And he's attracting everybody you're trying to get to attract, to be attracted to those 20 -something years.

[1823] So, but.

[1824] And when he was 30, he wasn't doing so well.

[1825] Right.

[1826] So when he was, you know, he's probably like, I think he's older than me. I'm 46.

[1827] So I think he's 47 or something like that.

[1828] So when he was, you know, 36, 37, nobody gave a fuck about him.

[1829] It's the sort of same situation and now look boom you know arguably the number one comic in the world so and then you got david tell better now than ever right better now than ever and he's 50 and there's rock still going and just still going and there's just tons of people yeah even fucking jerry signfeld he's like 62 you know i mean when a comic learns it'd be a comic i keep hearing and i need to see him to to see it myself like bill cosby yes yes i hear i hear the same shit i need to see him too let's go see him Let's go see him together.

[1830] Let's find out when he is.

[1831] I keep hearing.

[1832] Yeah.

[1833] I keep hearing.

[1834] He's killing it.

[1835] I keep hearing it.

[1836] He's killing it.

[1837] I keep hearing.

[1838] He's killing it from people outside show business.

[1839] I held it from a dude I know in Austin.

[1840] He just has nothing to do with show business.

[1841] And he was telling me, he's like, me and my friends went to see Bill Cosby.

[1842] I was like, what was it like?

[1843] He's like, dude.

[1844] He goes, you wouldn't believe it, man. He goes, he's telling these stories.

[1845] And at first, you're like, man, these fucking stories are taking a long time.

[1846] He goes, and then five minutes in, you are.

[1847] fucking crying laughing and then you realize how he's tying all these stories in together and you're like i'm watching a master doesn't have an opening act goes on stage by himself right he does like 90 minutes two hours just him himself and it's captivated that's the shit i've been hearing keep hearing it i don't hear anybody saying it's bad nobody no i'm hearing over and over again that it's killer he's like 80 years old he's getting street reviews yeah what the fuck man like word word of mouth.

[1848] That's amazing.

[1849] Like word of mouth is like an underground young band coming up.

[1850] So that's what I'm saying.

[1851] Funny transcends.

[1852] Like you're hearing the same thing I'm hearing.

[1853] Then I have a few friends that went to see him and they're like, you got to see him.

[1854] And it's on my, one of my list of things to go see.

[1855] It's like going to Coachella, I got to go see this dude.

[1856] Yeah, we got to see him before.

[1857] Okay, check this out.

[1858] I think I'm going to be in Vegas when he's there.

[1859] Oh shit.

[1860] Ian.

[1861] Hold on a second.

[1862] It's, um, There's a UFC on the 24th, and Bill Cosby is in Vegas on the 23rd.

[1863] Oh, shit, perfect.

[1864] Treasure Island Showroom.

[1865] Please tell me you want to go.

[1866] I'll come out there.

[1867] Fuck yeah.

[1868] I'm not in Vegas, so I'll drive out there with me, man. Come out there with me. If you want, I'll get your tickets to the UFC, too.

[1869] I'll do that too.

[1870] Boom.

[1871] That's a weekend.

[1872] Do you want to see Cosby?

[1873] Are you going to...

[1874] Fuck yeah.

[1875] I love to see Cosby.

[1876] Do you have the attention span?

[1877] Yes.

[1878] I've actually wanted to see that.

[1879] But it is kind of...

[1880] It's not really stand -up, is it, though?

[1881] It's kind of like a one -man play.

[1882] I don't know.

[1883] I don't even want to judge what it is.

[1884] I don't know what it is, but I need to find out if I can get tickets.

[1885] It's funny.

[1886] I want it to defend what it is, and I don't even know.

[1887] Yeah.

[1888] All right.

[1889] We'll talk about this after, but I'm psyched now that I know that this is a possibility, and it's a night I have off.

[1890] It's perfect, because I have the weigh -ins during the day, and then the nighttime, I have off.

[1891] But it's probably like a 6 o 'clock show.

[1892] Is there even tickets available?

[1893] Oh, people probably fall asleep.

[1894] It says 8 p .m. Oh, shit, they're staying awake.

[1895] Oh, my God.

[1896] Who's there next week?

[1897] Mencia.

[1898] Right after Bill Cosby.

[1899] Happy birthday, Carls.

[1900] Yeah, that is ironic as fuck.

[1901] Look at that.

[1902] That's funny.

[1903] Bill Cosby and then Mencea.

[1904] Because he took a Mencea took a Cosby joke too.

[1905] Exactly.

[1906] That's what sunk him.

[1907] Yeah.

[1908] Look, that was the final nail in the coffin when people saw him do a Bill Cosby bit.

[1909] That's hilarious.

[1910] I wonder if Bill thinks when he sees that.

[1911] He probably doesn't even know.

[1912] He probably didn't even know.

[1913] he's fucking heard about the video.

[1914] He probably has no idea that MNCA got busted stealing his joke.

[1915] He probably has no idea.

[1916] I doubt he pays attention to it all.

[1917] But apparently the motherfucker keeps writing and I say motherfucker with all due respect.

[1918] Is there a ticket still available?

[1919] I don't know.

[1920] We'll find out after the show.

[1921] I don't want to be investigating during the program.

[1922] But I think that's a great idea, man. I really need to see it because I keep hearing it, man. Chris Rock was the first one I heard it from.

[1923] Yeah, he said that shit too.

[1924] Seinfeld said it.

[1925] Yeah, Chris Rock was fascinating, man. He was shaking his head.

[1926] He goes, I feel like I was like an amateur.

[1927] I watched that guy up there.

[1928] I felt like I was an amateur.

[1929] I was like, wow, that's crazy.

[1930] And he goes, he goes out there with no opening act, does like an hour and a half by himself, said it was amazing.

[1931] I was like, wow, that's incredible.

[1932] But you know, it's one thing if this guy, who's my friend in Austin says it.

[1933] But when that guy says exactly the same thing as Chris Rock, you got to listen.

[1934] You got to go, there's something that's going on here.

[1935] And I would assume Chris Rock is pretty critical.

[1936] How do you not be?

[1937] I mean he's an icon for sure Like I've heard people say There were some old dudes that were really funny That really weren't funny You know there was a few guys Oh my God you never seen him He's hilarious And you see him in some dog shit You know, it's just He's just an old dude that people like And people don't want to say Nothing bad about it Yeah they don't want to say I'd be disappointed If this didn't live up to it Now we put all this hype behind it We're gonna have to get drunk We're gonna have to get hammered to make it even better And then embarrass ourselves By trying to meet him And getting shut down That's hilarious We went to see Dice Backstage We went to see Dice Rather at the Riviera Which is one of the best Place to see him Because it's all old school And it's upstairs And it was Jim Norton And Anthony Coomia And Brian and me And we all had it off Nobody had to work So it was just It was a treat Just to be able to sit there Watch Dice And then we went backstage And was like talking to him Like this might be One of the coolest things I've ever done Got to see a show And then gone back backstage to hang out with Dice Clay, like after a show in Vegas.

[1938] It was really cool, but Dice knows me. Bill Cosby would just kick us right to fuck out.

[1939] Scrubs.

[1940] Fuck out of here.

[1941] Oh, Cosby might like, I'm watching.

[1942] You, yeah.

[1943] Jelly pudding.

[1944] Especially if Red Man's going to start doing his old.

[1945] Yeah.

[1946] Old shit there.

[1947] Definitely going to get kicked out.

[1948] You don't get off of Rudy.

[1949] Oh, could you imagine if you did that in his room, he would beat you to death.

[1950] That would be what sinks Bill Cosby.

[1951] Bill Cosby beats Brian Red Man to death with a lamp.

[1952] He just picks up a lamp and breaks it over your head and stabs you in the neck with the broken pieces.

[1953] Is there even any footage of Bill Cosby versus Heckler?

[1954] I bet I would love to see what he would his response to that would be.

[1955] They probably don't allow Heckler's at his shows.

[1956] They probably close in on those fucking people so quick.

[1957] Yeah, he doesn't, I mean, he's not doing that kind of comedy.

[1958] He's doing the kind of comedy where it's like these long monologues that are stories, that he's crafted and molded to like the perfect amount of words.

[1959] He used to, it's kind of fascinating.

[1960] I mean, now he's doing shows.

[1961] Obviously, if you go to Bill Cosby .com, there's a lot of shows.

[1962] He's got a lot of shows planned out, like over and over, like May 9th.

[1963] He's got two shows and a night on May 9th.

[1964] May 10th, he's got a show.

[1965] May 11th, May he's, I mean, he's constantly working.

[1966] I don't think if I had his money, there's no way I'd still be doing that.

[1967] I think he enjoys it.

[1968] But what I'm hearing is, or what I was hearing before he was doing all these shows, was that he would go and do like a Tonight Show or a Letterman appearance, one of those type of things.

[1969] He didn't even practice the material.

[1970] He would just write it.

[1971] He would write it himself, and he would work on it himself, and then he would go onto these shows and just do it.

[1972] The first time he was doing it was on live TV, and they would say, you know, don't you go to the comedy clubs and practice?

[1973] It's like, I know how to do comedy.

[1974] like his in his mind he knew how to discern what was good what was bad crafted all himself and then release it into the wild yeah he had enough practice and he trusted himself and i guess he's honest enough with himself to say this is funny it's not funny yeah that's fascinating in and of itself that's uh that's an interesting point of view i mean i guess you get to a certain level it sounds ballsy right fuck yeah it does sounds balls but you should yeah like you say when you get to a certain age you should know but it still sounds ballsy on a point that I'm not definitely not at it yeah real real real ballsy but he also got in some trouble man there was some he had to settle a lawsuit someone accusing him there was like some drug thing drug and some date there's some date rape pill thing yeah young girls again man sexual assault allegations doesn't matter who you are you cannot escape vagina it will get you it will get you man Maybe we answer the question.

[1975] Like, why is he still doing stand -up?

[1976] Pay off these suits.

[1977] Pay off these suits?

[1978] That's probably a big factor.

[1979] And then on top of that, probably because he could still get some pussy on the road.

[1980] Yeah.

[1981] I mean, he's still Bill Cosby.

[1982] Imagine Bill Cosby, man. It's still nothing better than road pussy.

[1983] Isn't that amazing?

[1984] That's ridiculous.

[1985] Could you imagine if that was the case?

[1986] If you pulled him aside and you say, Bill, it's amazing.

[1987] You're still doing all these shows.

[1988] Like, what's up?

[1989] I got two words.

[1990] Road pussy.

[1991] And it gives you knuckles.

[1992] Give me the impression, do it.

[1993] What is it?

[1994] Root pussy.

[1995] And I'm not even an impression, so that's a terrible bill causing.

[1996] It's better than mine.

[1997] That's what I've never tried to do.

[1998] Jello pudding.

[1999] I sound like Red Fox.

[2000] I need to rethink my Cosmy impression.

[2001] Yeah, he's on stage.

[2002] It's just some fascinating shit.

[2003] He's got a hearing aid on.

[2004] Oh, shit.

[2005] It's just somebody reading him the lines.

[2006] Well, look, he's got this thing.

[2007] I mean, it looks like a hearing aid.

[2008] I mean, what is that?

[2009] He's old, man. Son, it's old.

[2010] Yeah.

[2011] I mean, he's like, it's got like this wired thing.

[2012] Maybe it's, uh, so he could hear what the audience is hearing.

[2013] It might be that.

[2014] Is that his microphone?

[2015] Because he has a mic in front of him or that's...

[2016] I don't know.

[2017] It's hard to tell.

[2018] It's a weird picture.

[2019] It doesn't look like a microphone in his hand unless he uses a really tiny microphone.

[2020] What if he lipsinks the whole thing?

[2021] Did you imagine it?

[2022] Because he's so old.

[2023] That's how he does it.

[2024] Yeah, he does it like, like, like, written.

[2025] Spears does commercials yeah or like she does concerts do you imagine if a guy lip syncs stand up has anyone ever done that before that's bananas that's hilarious that would be so hard to do that would be so hard to do to lip sync your stand up because you I do it different every night there's no way I'd be able to lip sync it like it never glass drops yeah you keep going oh you'd have to keep going and play it off you didn't hear it place is on fire you're still going he's still going you got to I'm going to do my acting the back if you don't burn alive please laugh people are running out the door they hear a soundtrack there's a fucking laugh track no one's laughing we're on fire ha ha ha ha ha ha and then i was like hi mom la ha ha ha it'll be funny shit i'm sure someone's done it has anybody ever juiced the audience before has anybody ever used like a laugh track like while they're on stage oh that that's that sounds disgusting that's hilarious must have been done must have been done yeah somebody must have done it.

[2026] If you can think of it, somebody must have done it.

[2027] People are always accusing people of planting, putting a plant in the audience.

[2028] Like a guy who heckles says something stupid so the guy on stage could have the perfect thing to say to him.

[2029] Like that guy wasn't, he's a plant.

[2030] They planted him in the audience.

[2031] Now I'm sure that's happened.

[2032] Because I've heard of it happening in like sort of like fake performance art type scenarios and shows.

[2033] I know it happens when you watch most Comedy Central specials, you could hear the cheap can't comedy central use better can laughter so they have canned laughter you think did they do like over their stand -up specials yeah yeah for sure like if you listen you could you could hear like all the audiences from all the specials sound the same which is impossible yeah it's impossible like they all laugh the same way there's that one show uh that uses the young stand -ups and the whole audience it's just canned laughter no way and it's what's really suck is i don't want to I don't say the show I guess Don't say this show But I guess Because there was even jokes That were so dumb That you can't even You know that there's no one Going to be laughing at this And it just explodes Like they just got off stage And you're just like What the fuck is this shit Wow And it's edited too Where the audience Like is still laughing But it goes on to like the next joke Like it's just how it's edited You could just tell I forgot the name of the show I don't want to say the name of the show Yeah don't have to say the name that's kind of fucked up right that's uh oh boy that's one of those weird like what's the line what's deceptive and what is just editing when you start adding laughter to a comedy show like a laugh track on a sitcom's okay for some reason why is that why the fuck is a laugh at that's not that's not okay it's not okay it gets it gets annoying too like especially when there's laughter where you know that's not a joke yeah if you want to know how stupid it is watch one of those Disney shows one of those Disney shows and the guy comes in with the flip -flops on, you're like, oh -ha -ha -ha -ha -ha, and everybody's like, The really bad laugh -track scenes are offensive.

[2034] Yeah.

[2035] They hurt.

[2036] They hurt.

[2037] It's insulting.

[2038] They hurt.

[2039] They're insulting.

[2040] It's offensive.

[2041] You hurt the culture.

[2042] You, you, anybody who can listen to this and really believe that that's real laughter is either very, very young, which is rude, because you're doing like a shitty joke on children, or they're idiots.

[2043] So those are the two options.

[2044] Either someone's really young and you're treating them like they're fools And you're giving them bad entertainment and giving them really low standards to behave by Or you're making movies and shows for idiots Yeah, they're definitely giving them like low standards to live by for sure Oh, they don't give a fuck man like they don't trust they just don't trust like You know like make something good just put it out there in and trust it But it's also that there's a lot of dummies out there that like bad shit There's just a lot of that man A lot of these sitcoms that are really, like Brian Callum was over my house, and we were talking about a sitcom that he did, and he was just shaking his head.

[2045] He was like, it's so bad.

[2046] He goes, I'm doing the show.

[2047] I can't fucking believe that this is a sitcom.

[2048] I can't believe how bad it is.

[2049] And he did like a couple of episodes, and he was telling me about it.

[2050] He was like, the people are like, they're convincing themselves.

[2051] He goes, the actors on the set are laughing, and the show does well on TV.

[2052] And he's like, it's shit.

[2053] It's terrible.

[2054] And I was like, what is that?

[2055] And he goes, I don't know.

[2056] We were trying to figure it out.

[2057] I'm like, is there just a lot of really dumb motherfuckers out there?

[2058] And that just hits their frequency.

[2059] Right.

[2060] And so there's these clever people that know the right frequency for dumb people.

[2061] You know, where would I be without you, honey?

[2062] Probably nowhere.

[2063] Good night.

[2064] Fade the black.

[2065] Let's shut the bed off, Martha.

[2066] Whatever it is, man. It's popular.

[2067] Well, there's, you know, there's, you know, there's, you know, There's no lack of stupid people in this world.

[2068] Like, when I was watching, like, I think it was on E years ago.

[2069] Like, maybe 10 years ago, and it was talking about Gilligan's Island.

[2070] And people used to ride in.

[2071] So please rescue those people off the island.

[2072] Like, ain't anybody going to help?

[2073] Like, real letters.

[2074] I'm not even making this up.

[2075] It's real letters.

[2076] Oh, yeah.

[2077] No, I'm sure.

[2078] People were worried about them.

[2079] We're watching them every week.

[2080] Oh.

[2081] I know.

[2082] They help them, George.

[2083] They're out there on that island by themselves.

[2084] It's going to be a monsoon out there.

[2085] We need to help those people.

[2086] There's a monsoon.

[2087] Gilligan's a nice boy.

[2088] Those people raise kids.

[2089] Yeah.

[2090] They raise kids to go out there and harass your kids.

[2091] Yeah.

[2092] But do you think that a show that's a dumb show actually influences the culture enough to have an effect on it?

[2093] Because if that's the case, and I'm guilty too for fear.

[2094] factor.

[2095] If a show can be so dumb and lower standards so much in its delivery, and the shitty jokes, and the canned laughter, and just this low RPM entertainment, and sucks you into its fucking maw of soap opera stupidity.

[2096] Is it possible that that can actually lower a collective intelligence of any part of a culture?

[2097] Well, it won't improve it.

[2098] so you can go where you want to go from there and I don't think like I've heard you being a hard on Fair Factor before but that shit was interesting well it was definitely a little different in its stupidity but it's still stupidity yeah but here's the thing about Fear Factor it was you're at home putting yourself in these people's situation like in the day and you're wondering anything that makes you kind of say could I do that and you watch somebody go through it and do it it's it's just there's something interesting about Fear Factor that I wouldn't just brush off you know what I agree with you in a certain way there's an ingredient in there that's important that you know that people can use on other things but there's something definitely there to make people keep watching it's not even the 50 it wasn't even when somebody wanted it and got to $50 ,000 it's the they did all this even if you're you can look at it there's different types of people that watch it to say these people are stupid or i can't believe this person just ate that or did that people or just just the interesting things that people go through watching people go through what they're going to go through to do it's just there's there's a lot of shit there man Well, there's the psychological battles that are going on When you see people trying to eat blended rats And climb up buildings and they fucking terrified of heights Or swim when they can't swim There's a lot of psychological shit going on And then there's also just the fact that they really are Whatever they're doing, as ridiculous as it is They really are competing It's a human competition Whenever you watch any sort of competition It becomes compelling Because you try to figure out what you would do And you get caught up Like we were talking about What was the dude's name that we were saying?

[2099] Clark live in Clark's life.

[2100] Was it Clark?

[2101] Oh, yeah.

[2102] What do what we call it?

[2103] Carl?

[2104] If you were living Carl's life, what's compelling about it besides the fact that you get to experience someone else's life is you probably get your own mind as well to think, fuck would I do this?

[2105] Right.

[2106] Oh my God, I'm called Carl's crazy.

[2107] I can't believe he's going to fuck this Jake.

[2108] He doesn't even have a condom.

[2109] Carl you're crazy.

[2110] Just because Chase calls the condom store down.

[2111] Doesn't mean you're supposed to just fuck.

[2112] Yeah, watch Carl do the crazy shit that you would never do.

[2113] To live vicariously.

[2114] And that's what that, you know, Fair Factor gave people an experience, man. It was definitely an experience.

[2115] For me, it was surreal because, you know, it was there while it was all happening going, I can't even believe it.

[2116] And then I watched it on TV, and I just leave my house shaking my head.

[2117] I can't even believe them all part of this.

[2118] Like, as I was doing it, I was like, this is the most ridiculous shit of all time.

[2119] I can't believe this is a job.

[2120] Plus, plus, like, it's like a survivor.

[2121] Like, when Survivor first came on, I said, I'm going to watch this shit tonight and laugh at how dumb.

[2122] this thing is.

[2123] But the execution of the first episode blew my mind.

[2124] Yeah.

[2125] And I watched the entire season.

[2126] I agree.

[2127] I was like, and I think you guys had good execution.

[2128] They definitely know what they were doing.

[2129] David Hurwitz and Matt Kuhnitz, the two dudes that were in charge of the whole thing.

[2130] They knew what the fuck they were doing.

[2131] They both have done TV for the longest time.

[2132] But I think that helps for sure.

[2133] There's something about watching people compete.

[2134] It's so fucking compelling.

[2135] That's why people like sports.

[2136] That's why people like watching basketball.

[2137] That's why people like watching MMA.

[2138] People love watching people compete.

[2139] That'll never end.

[2140] And then it was attractive people too.

[2141] And people who were like, oh, that's the person from next door, whatever that's worth, because people like the normal person.

[2142] Right.

[2143] And then the real world was hot.

[2144] So it's like, these are all the people who auditioned for real world and didn't get on it.

[2145] They can do, they can do a half hour of eating dick.

[2146] Yeah.

[2147] Like, you'll, think, Think about how weird it is that we like watching people compete so much.

[2148] We'll watch people run.

[2149] Yeah.

[2150] Running is one of the most boring fucking things you could ever watch a person do.

[2151] Left, right, left, right.

[2152] No, golf at least varies a little bit more than running.

[2153] Like the best thing that can happen, as far as excitement goes, obviously the worst thing to the person, but the best thing for the viewer is watching a race where a bunch of people fall on top of each other.

[2154] One person stumbles.

[2155] That's the worst or the best.

[2156] It's the worst for the people involved.

[2157] But at home, you're like, oh shit, this is crazy.

[2158] the casual person as if anything invested in the race would be their heart rate would go up if I saw a bunch 30 people fall and pile on top of each other in the beginning of a marathon.

[2159] Yeah, all of a sudden the interest in it goes up.

[2160] They would be on TV every fucking 15 minutes for 24 hours.

[2161] You would see those people trip and fall on top of each other.

[2162] A terrible start today to the Boston Marathon just a year from the tragic terrorist event we got to pile up at the finish line.

[2163] A bunch of people just stumble on top of each other and break hips and twist ankles.

[2164] They would play a lot of, that shit over and over and over and over and they're still looking for a fucking plane that's it's on the news every day all day long a fucking plane that disappeared seven weeks ago there's no story there's no information that's new there's no pictures there's no metal every day a new chapter in the Malaysian airline search the news milk that for ratings it's the craziest milking of all time the craziest milking of all time it's like just like the Jody Harris trial it's like Why, they made us, or made, I didn't care, but they made people care about the results of this case.

[2165] Is Jody Aris?

[2166] Was she hot?

[2167] Is she the chick?

[2168] She was hot.

[2169] Which one is she?

[2170] She was hot for a murderer.

[2171] She murdered a boyfriend.

[2172] And then the one, the year before, the year before.

[2173] So the missing plane is just Jody Eris or the thing they slipped in, slipped in place of, there's no Katrina.

[2174] So let's do the plane.

[2175] There's no, no hot chick has killed her.

[2176] man like some regular people have killed their man so let's do the plane yeah how many regular people killed their man in between the time where jody areas killed her man and the plane crash probably a lot yeah but they're not hot they're not hot they didn't have good PR they didn't get out there oh they didn't have good PR I used to do a joke about Manson about how Manson is like the Bob Hope of serial killers that's hilarious because everybody says Bob Hope is a comedian But, like, when I was a kid, like, Bob Hope never made me laugh.

[2177] I'm not laughing at.

[2178] I get Charlie Chaplin, I understood the Three Sturges.

[2179] Bob Hope, I'd be like, what are you laughing at?

[2180] But, like, when you talk about, like, serial killers, everybody's like, oh, he's fucking Manson.

[2181] The guy's like Manson.

[2182] I'd beat the fuck out of Manson.

[2183] If Manson ever stalked shit to me, if he got crazy with me?

[2184] I would fuck Manson up.

[2185] He's, like, five feet tall.

[2186] He was 100 pounds.

[2187] He didn't even kill anybody.

[2188] He got other people to kill people for him.

[2189] He got Tex Watson to do all the murders and all those other squeaky Fromm would try to kill Gerald Ford.

[2190] I'm not scared of Madison.

[2191] But I was like during the whole time there's been all these serial killers that have killed way more people and you never hear about that.

[2192] And the joke was that Henry Lee Lucas.

[2193] He's the guy that they made that movie Henry Portrait of a serial killer about.

[2194] He was with the dude from Walking Dead, the brother.

[2195] Not the guy who shoots the crossbows, but his brother, remember that guy?

[2196] Oh, okay.

[2197] I know you're talking about.

[2198] The one that's hands missing.

[2199] Yes, that guy.

[2200] He played Henry Lee Lucas.

[2201] And I'm like, Henry Lee Lucas killed.

[2202] 60 fucking people and everyone's Manson.

[2203] He's like Manson.

[2204] He goes, what do I have to do to get a little attention?

[2205] I killed 60 fucking people.

[2206] It's disrespectful.

[2207] It's disrespectful.

[2208] It's the real serial killers.

[2209] You got 65 bodies.

[2210] It's like a dude who won like an amateur boxing championship and they're comparing him to Muhammad Ali.

[2211] Oh, that's fucked up.

[2212] They're just talking about him all the time.

[2213] They don't talk about Ali.

[2214] And he's like, what about me, bitch?

[2215] Like, why are you fucking crazy?

[2216] Like, who did?

[2217] I won the title three times.

[2218] This dude won an amateur thing.

[2219] Yeah.

[2220] That's what it's like.

[2221] Yeah.

[2222] That's fucked up.

[2223] But the Manson thing, I guess, was the cult leader part of it, was which freaked everybody out because people were terrified by someone who could lead people astray.

[2224] Right.

[2225] And it was the time.

[2226] And I think he was a hippie.

[2227] There's a lot of things that they take out of the story that they don't focus on now.

[2228] Like, back then, maybe, I don't know, it feels like just on instinct that they wanted to condemn hippies back then.

[2229] 100%.

[2230] So they used this guy to condemn hippies, like the, you know, the suits.

[2231] and then now that part of the story is gone and now it's just fascinating it's residually fascinating but back then it could have been a big story for what was the reason why that was a big story back then well there was a lot of dark shit that happened when there was a murdered pregnant woman it was also a movie star Sharon Tate that was it struck home with a lot of people yeah and then Roman Polanski it was his wife that was murdered a lot of people didn't know that Then Roman Polanski turns out to be a child molester And there's all those crazy connections to that murder They wrote war or die pig or something like that And blood on the wall So what was the name of a serial killer you mentioned Henry Lee Lucas So this is what he was doing wrong Yeah he didn't do all that shit He's killing like diner waitresses and shit Yeah yeah That's what he would do He just go across the country And just kill people randomly A guy would walk into the bathroom A restaurant bathroom And he would just decide I'm gonna go kill this motherfucker He'd go in, shanked the guy, stab him a bunch of times and go out and eat his meal like nothing happened and people start screaming and he would go, what, what's going on?

[2232] Like, this was like in the, you know, 70s and the 80s and there was nobody knew what the fuck was going on.

[2233] And there's no, you know, they didn't get your fingerprints, they didn't know shit.

[2234] And he would kill people randomly.

[2235] And apparently random killers are the hardest to capture.

[2236] It's the hardest to, like if you've got a person who's a real crazy person who just, not that plots, not that says, you know what, this Brian Redband motherfucker, I got to, I can't take it.

[2237] on the podcast anymore.

[2238] I'm going to fucking track them down.

[2239] No. I'm going to put this camera, this tape recorder behind the toilet.

[2240] It's someone who gets in their car.

[2241] It's someone who gets in their car and says, let me just decide who I'm going to kill today.

[2242] And they just drive around.

[2243] They go, okay, that's the guy.

[2244] And they just get out and they shoot them.

[2245] And they just get in their car and drive away.

[2246] It's very difficult to catch that guy.

[2247] Right.

[2248] Because then there are news that said, there's been a gang murder.

[2249] Could be.

[2250] It could be a random.

[2251] Just an, I mean, it depends on what city you're in, too.

[2252] Like, what if you're in Chicago?

[2253] Like, if you wanted to be a murderer, like a serial killer, you go to the south side of Chicago, just drive around and start killing people at random.

[2254] It's happening over there anyway.

[2255] It's like there's so much murder there.

[2256] Louisiana, New Orleans, when we were there, this guy who was there who told me about he had lived through the Katrina floods, and he was talking about the level of violence that he saw.

[2257] He said, well, just cops shooting people and craziness and just rioting.

[2258] He goes, it was crazy.

[2259] Like, if you just insert, you know, insertion, murdered yourself into some sort of a chaotic situation like that and just randomly kill the person they never catch you you just whoop right back into the right back into the darkness you know that's that kind of serial killer stuff is really scary to people the idea that someone could just not value life so much or get such a thrill out of killing someone that they just want to do that yeah like kill people like is masturbating yeah like that's just the only good thing you know you could say about like a a scenario like that is that most of those people, you would, it's not even a good thing, but I would imagine that a lot of them trip up because they're so amoral and so fucked up.

[2260] Like that was the whole theme of the American serial killer book, American Psycho.

[2261] Did you ever read the book?

[2262] The book is way more graphic and fucked up than the movie.

[2263] The movie's fucked up.

[2264] But you only have so much time in a movie to go into how crazy a guy is.

[2265] But Brett Easton Ellis in the book had hundreds of pages and it was dark, dark, dark shit.

[2266] Was that a real story?

[2267] No, it's fictional.

[2268] Totally fictional.

[2269] It was sort of a metaphor for the cocaine mindset of the 80s and the materialist mindset of stockbrokers and this, and he just had created this guy who inserted himself into this world who was just a complete and total psychopath and serial killer.

[2270] Fascinating shit.

[2271] Because the guy, like it's almost like he's getting more the thrills don't come unless he's more and more reckless now because you get tired of doing it this way and then you want to do it that way and then you get to kick it up a notch in order to get your thrill and a lot of them that happens they ramp up until they eventually get busted which they just they don't get satisfied with just one type of thrill but then there's like dudes like the zodiac killer they never catch yeah he just stayed in his own He's just smart as fuck He kept his protocol He even made letters Sent them letters and shit Did you ever see that Was it Jake Lullivan Hall Is that him Who did the Zodiac movie?

[2272] Yeah He does I think Charles Fischer was in that movie Was he?

[2273] Yeah I think so Charles Fischer might be the fucking Zodiac killer How about that?

[2274] Yeah He might have been in a movie About himself Charles Fischer came to the back of the comedy store one night And handed me some fucking thing That he created with plastic That was a new geometric shape I just asked him about that Yeah He said he invented Some sort of with mathematics He invented some sort of a new Unto -Hard Never Unto -Hurred Geometric Shape Before Unto -Hard Is that how you're saying?

[2275] Spending that Roger Rabbit money Yeah I think that money's gone I guess But he was a weird cat You know Fleischer was a smart dude Yeah He would in his spare time He'd like read books on astronomy and shit And come to the backstage The Comedy Store that back patio area, we'd always talk about space.

[2276] Oh, for real?

[2277] Yeah, wild conversations about space and science.

[2278] He's just a fucking, he was more into that than he wasn't doing stand -up.

[2279] Yeah, that's, yeah.

[2280] How is he financially now?

[2281] Oh, I don't know.

[2282] I haven't seen him in forever, man. I see him always looks good and he always has like a younger girl with him.

[2283] I see him once in a while.

[2284] That's funny.

[2285] There used to be a dude who was an older guy.

[2286] He used to come to the comedy store.

[2287] He used to try to hypnotize girls.

[2288] That was his move.

[2289] And I'd always heard it And then one day I'm in the main room You know the back area The main room by where the ticket thing is And this comic is Saying something to this He leans over And she goes No I don't want you to hypnotize me And I just start laughing I'm like Ah, it's fucking true I couldn't believe it He was asking her If he could hypnotize her What a pleasant guy's asking Right I think you have to I don't think you can You can't just hypnotize someone You have to ask to hypnotize them Because they have to like put themselves in the mindset Like okay I'm about to be hypnotized I don't think it's like one of those You're getting sleepy Sleepy like oh my god it's control of my mind I don't think that works What if she's in the bathroom I don't think it works Imagine that you have a tape recording You're getting sleepy Are you allowed to do that Be not allowed to record But are you allowed to project Are you allowed to broadcast secretly when someone doesn't know Are you allowed to have Have you talking in a bathroom?

[2290] I think that if I was I mean When it comes to laws, like about recording laws Eventually we're going to have to abandon that If everybody just starts recording everything, right?

[2291] Everything already is.

[2292] Everyone's recording people with their phones.

[2293] But that would be the one thing that holds you back, right?

[2294] Be If you have two people And one of them consents and the other one doesn't consent Or it doesn't know they're being recorded.

[2295] you always know you're being recorded because you're always being recorded.

[2296] All those laws are going to have to change, right?

[2297] Does that make sense?

[2298] The fucked up thing is that it doesn't even matter.

[2299] It's like once somebody released a tape, you're screwed socially.

[2300] Yeah.

[2301] You're all condemned or whatever.

[2302] It's like...

[2303] Well, unless you don't say anything fucked up.

[2304] Right.

[2305] But how...

[2306] I just think it's hard to not say something fucked up.

[2307] Yeah.

[2308] Well, it's definitely hard, especially when you're an 81 -year -old racist.

[2309] You know, if you really stop and think about it, that dude was 60 years old when the internet became popular.

[2310] That's funny.

[2311] It's crazy.

[2312] Step in there.

[2313] He said, step in there.

[2314] He was 60 years old.

[2315] That's incredible.

[2316] But I think I'm a decent person, but I know you could probably play some shit back from conversations that I said.

[2317] And you could, somebody could hang me. Oh, definitely, especially if they did it the way that Jeremy Clarkson thing did.

[2318] Well, you just take one snippet of it that sounds so stupid.

[2319] I did everything within my power to not say that word.

[2320] The fuck you did.

[2321] How about not do it at all?

[2322] What he was saying is, I did everything in my power to not say that word on television, and that clip never made TV.

[2323] Like, he was trying.

[2324] He went as long, but they were like, yeah, whatever.

[2325] Chunk.

[2326] They took the most ridiculous, salacious chunk, and they put it in right.

[2327] I did everything within my power.

[2328] Apparently, that wasn't enough.

[2329] Could you imagine he just has racist Tourettes?

[2330] He's, like, trying really hard to hold, Mm -hmm, I'm a Mexican.

[2331] He's trying so hard.

[2332] He's been hiding in it.

[2333] he's trying so hard not to say it but he can't he can't he has to let it out yeah that was dumb his apology the clip of it they showed that shit was dumb yeah it is ridiculous it's not an apology no the clip they show if it was a guy yeah well it doesn't make any sense anyway like i said i don't i've never heard it that way i heard always heard it tiger like why why why are you saying nigger like what are you doing like why you even that's that's on him yeah it's on him 100 % i did everything with you in my power.

[2334] As he goes home and plays Xbox Live and he's one of the racist kids on there that just that guy's drunk a lot too.

[2335] That's probably also part of them.

[2336] That stomach that he's got, that ain't coming just from food.

[2337] Guys probably lit up.

[2338] He's trying to be funny.

[2339] Oh, that, yeah.

[2340] Also, he's probably trying to be funny.

[2341] Yeah.

[2342] You know, I mean, he's kind of like a comic in a sense.

[2343] Right.

[2344] Because he's, I'm sure he's making the cameraman laugh and the producers laugh and he's trying to, like, be edgy.

[2345] Like, he's got a reputation for saying funny shit.

[2346] So he's got to live up to it.

[2347] Sometimes you're here.

[2348] Yeah, no doubt, man. No doubt, you know.

[2349] There was an article that I'm trying to find online and I can't.

[2350] We're out of time here.

[2351] God damn it.

[2352] In Edwards, we ran out of goddamn time.

[2353] So, the time went fast.

[2354] How long are we doing?

[2355] Three hours.

[2356] Dang, Jesus.

[2357] I know.

[2358] That's what I'm saying, dude.

[2359] It goes by every week like that.

[2360] It's crazy.

[2361] When are you recording your new special?

[2362] Well, it's an album, recorded it already.

[2363] The beauty of it is there's an article in Deadline, Hollywood this morning, about, it's on a Conan's label.

[2364] Oh, beautiful.

[2365] It's coming out in June.

[2366] I'm the first comic on there.

[2367] Oh, that's awesome.

[2368] And I'm also the first homeless comic to be on Conan's movie.

[2369] Fuck you, Chase.

[2370] Thanks, Chase.

[2371] Assholes.

[2372] So it's coming out in June, but they just released everything.

[2373] So I woke up to see that in deadline.

[2374] When in June?

[2375] When in June?

[2376] Probably the 10th.

[2377] Okay, we'll let us know and we'll tweet it.

[2378] Or if you want to come back, we'll have you on the podcast again.

[2379] Okay, let's do it.

[2380] What's it called?

[2381] It's called 100 %.

[2382] sent half -ass.

[2383] And if you can see, it goes.

[2384] It goes.

[2385] Follow Ian online.

[2386] Ian Edwards comic.

[2387] Don't follow any of those other Ian Edwards do it.

[2388] It's Ian Edwards comic.

[2389] That's the only one.

[2390] And what's your website?

[2391] Shit.

[2392] Ian Edwardscomedian .com.

[2393] Okay.

[2394] Because it was down.

[2395] So I think it's back up now.

[2396] Oh, okay.

[2397] You got a show?

[2398] Yeah.

[2399] Next week I'm going to be in Vegas with Tony Hinchcliff and Saratiana.

[2400] You guys are at a pool hall.

[2401] Yeah.

[2402] We're playing the back.

[2403] Backstage Bar and Billiards, Friday, May 16th, 8 p .m. Let me know if they got good tables.

[2404] Yeah, I will.

[2405] Yeah, let me know if it's a good spot.

[2406] That would be a great place for you to play every time you're in Vegas.

[2407] You could just...

[2408] I got a spot I already go to.

[2409] I won't tell anybody, though.

[2410] I'm fucking secretive as shit.

[2411] I move like a ghost.

[2412] Thanks to our sponsors, thanks to Squarespace .com.

[2413] Go to Squarespace .com.

[2414] Enter in the code word, Joe, and save yourself 10 % off your first purchase and get a free trial while you're at it.

[2415] That is Squarespace.

[2416] and enter in the code word joe we're also brought to you by nature box go to naturebox .com slash rogan and get 50 % off your first box of yummy shit that's naturebox dot com forward slash joe i cannot recommend them enough i think their snacks are quite yummy we're also brought to you by onit .com that's o n n i t go there use the code word rogan and save 10 % off any and all supplements all right lots of fun shit coming up tomorrow nick cutter a fine author whose book i've got right here i've been reading this fucking thing this is a great book man it's called the troop i got one of those pre -release copies bitch that's right i'm special as fuck and it's dog -eared because i've been reading the shit out of it it's really good it's uh in the vein of like a stephen king horror thriller and um tim kennedy on wednesday and uh ronda Patrick's coming in this week, too.

[2417] Oh, that's not this week.

[2418] Whatever, bitch.

[2419] Listen, I got a lot of shit happening.

[2420] See you tomorrow.

[2421] Big kiss.