The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz XX
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[13] This is the Dan Levatore show with the Stugats podcast.
[14] I will apologize to the audio audience here as I want to show Izzy and Tony and Mike Ryan and Amin a baseball pitch that I find fundamentally unfair.
[15] Aroldous Chapman, the Cuban pitcher, who now, anybody want to guess where a Roldus Chapman is now?
[16] He's played for a lot of teams.
[17] He throws, I thought, 103 and 104 miles an hour, but the pitch I'm about to show you is 105 miles an hour.
[18] I can't believe he's still throwing that hard.
[19] But anybody want to take a guess at where a Roldus Chapman is now playing?
[20] St. Louis?
[21] Myrtle Beach Merman.
[22] Is he a Royal?
[23] He is a Pittsburgh pirate.
[24] He's learning he's still throwing.
[25] It's going to be my fifth guest.
[26] I want to show you this pitch.
[27] It's inside corner at the knees and watch Manny Machado's reaction to a hundred.
[28] 105 miles an hour inside corner at the knees.
[29] They just laugh at each other because they know how absurd.
[30] They're like, what are you, that's right, Tony.
[31] What are you supposed to do with that?
[32] What are you going to do with that one?
[33] That's Manny Machado.
[34] That is a Hall of Famer looking at him, and he's giving him sort of the Michael Jordan shrug after making six threes against Portland where I was like, ah, come on.
[35] What is that?
[36] They laugh in each other's faces at the absurdity of trying to hit that baseball.
[37] And Chapman was already posing, and he still looked out, I'm like, yeah, no, you deserve that.
[38] Is the, what's the closest equivalent to this?
[39] Is it Chris Gatling dapping up Sean Kemp after he dunked on him?
[40] Like, John Kemp, dunked on Chris Gatlin and Chris Gatlin.
[41] Whatever happened to those moments.
[42] In basketball, where you just have to be awed by the guy who did it to you, and you're just like, yeah, I lose.
[43] That's Manny Machado.
[44] I'm pretty sure he's a Hall of Famer.
[45] I haven't looked at the numbers, but I think of him as a Hall of Famer.
[46] For him to laugh at the absurdity of not being able to hit a pitch.
[47] from a guy who's a journeyman who now pitches for the Pittsburgh Pirates.
[48] It's almost like when Steph hit the dagger three from basically half court against the thunder.
[49] It's like, oh, okay, he's just way better.
[50] Dan, they've been showing these angles.
[51] Sorry about my Olympic Renaissance here, but they've been showing these angles of these indoor volleyball serves.
[52] And it's ridiculous.
[53] Like, it's coming at you at 80 miles per hour.
[54] It takes a hard hook to the left.
[55] And I don't know how those people pass that thing.
[56] Izzy, I'll tell you, the volleyball thing that I got was beach volleyball.
[57] I've watched a couple Olympics now, maybe three.
[58] four.
[59] And every time everyone serves the same way, they throw it up and they kind of spike it, whatever.
[60] There's this one dude for Italy.
[61] He wears a hat.
[62] He's a short stocky dude.
[63] He's built like George Costanza.
[64] And his service is like, it's like the Ephus pitch.
[65] Yeah, he just slaps the shit out of it and it goes like 70 meters into the sky and then drops on the other side.
[66] And it's like the accuracy with which he's getting it in play every single time.
[67] It looks like the most asshole is just let me just send it up to the sky.
[68] It's so difficult to do as a server.
[69] It's so difficult to do.
[70] Passing it, even more difficult.
[71] Like, you just have to sit there and be patient with it, and hopefully it just doesn't knuckle and hit you in the nose.
[72] Speaking of George Costanza, guys, I had a moment a couple of weeks ago that I felt like George Costanz, and that can mean a lot of things, right?
[73] George is a lot of things to a lot of people.
[74] But me and my wife, my wife's pregnant.
[75] We like to go on walks after to kind of get the digestion thing moving.
[76] Kind of blocks things up when you're pregnant.
[77] So we go for a walk around where we used to live around Dayland Mall.
[78] So we'll do a nice little lap around the mall and it's getting to be dusk so it's about like maybe eight o 'clock we finished dinner we're walking around we're just talking back and forth and this lady with this little dog walks up to us kind of on the back end of de la mont she's like do you guys know about owls and again they free just just absolutely no context just comes up to us and says that and and you know I'm quick with so I'm like I'm like ma 'am I was an owlologist I studied owls in college I'm very excited about owls did you know that they don't when they flap their wings it'll make any noise.
[79] I started giving her a couple owl tips.
[80] They can turn their head 360.
[81] It's incredible.
[82] You said owlologist, didn't you?
[83] Yeah, no, 100%.
[84] And that's why, because I was like saying it as, I don't know what the actual term is or whatever.
[85] And she looks and she goes, my God, thank you.
[86] And I look and I'm like, I'm like, yeah, of course, no problem.
[87] Whatever.
[88] She turns over and she goes, there's an owl right there and I think it's hurt.
[89] And I'm like, where?
[90] She moves over and there's like a barn owl like this big with a hurt wing.
[91] And I'm looking at, I'm like, definitely, I go definitely a barn owl.
[92] Let me go take a look at that.
[93] My wife, like, grabs and she's like, do not touch it.
[94] He's like, ma 'am, he is a liar.
[95] He is not an owlologist.
[96] That's not even a real word.
[97] Tony, did you not stare into the eye of the mighty fish?
[98] I walked up to it, and as I started walking up to it, I was a little fearful because it started hopping.
[99] And I was like, oh, I don't know what you're going to do.
[100] Please let this be a golf ball lodge somewhere in the owl.
[101] No golf ball lodged in the owl.
[102] But the moment that that lady turned around and I looked down, and I looked down.
[103] and I see the owl just all the blood left my body.
[104] I was just like, I'm not about to touch this owl.
[105] I don't know what it has.
[106] I don't know if the towns are going to scratch me. I don't know anything about owls, ma 'am.
[107] But the fact that she turned around and that owl was there, it made me think I may never want to do the expert thing ever again, which is tough because I love doing that to people.
[108] No, no, you keep doing it and then when you see the owl, then you bail.
[109] I mean, what are the odds that's going to happen again?
[110] That's what I think until something else.
[111] Are you whatever?
[112] And I'm like, yes, of course.
[113] I've started it my whole life.
[114] And then it's like, I hurt.
[115] Your pregnant wife betrayed you in that moment.
[116] And she instantly told the woman he knows nothing about owls.
[117] He just made up a word owlologist.
[118] She's like, he knows nothing about owls.
[119] She also hit me with a chicken wing in the rib too, which Charles like, she's like, he knows nothing about owls, ma 'am.
[120] So then I had to spend the next 30 minutes of the walk.
[121] My wife was like, you're going to do something for that owl.
[122] And I was like, what do you want me to do with the owl?
[123] I can't help it.
[124] She's like, you're going to call humane societies.
[125] You're going to start doing stuff.
[126] So I had to sit there on my phone in this walk looking at Miami -Dade Humane Societies.
[127] It's 8 o 'clock.
[128] They're not there.
[129] Nobody's there.
[130] We can't call like, hey, guys, there's an owl at Dayland Mall.
[131] I don't know what to do with it.
[132] Animal Rescue.
[133] Just find the animal, because that's the 24 hours.
[134] They come in there and grab it.
[135] Now, they might kill the owl.
[136] Like, that's not up to me, though.
[137] You've done your part.
[138] No, they're not going to kill the owl.
[139] You never know.
[140] Well, they may kindly euthanize it to be going to what's going on.
[141] Destroy the owl.
[142] Again, I think it was a wing because it was kind of like, you know how when the birds have their wings like tucked in, they're good?
[143] This one was kind of out, which again, kind of gave me a creep.
[144] I didn't like it.
[145] So I ended up walking away.
[146] But somewhere, some humane society here Miami has a voicemail for me because my wife made me leave it saying like, hey, my wife made me leave it.
[147] Saying like, hey, anonymously there's an owl at Dayland Mall who's hurt, you know.
[148] Anonymously.
[149] Yeah, what are you worried about this scenario?
[150] Just a case you looked me up like, hey, there's no owl there, buddy.
[151] Tell me a quick question.
[152] Was the Al?
[153] This is a guy that keeps taking ducks.
[154] we got him was the owl sleepy owl was not sleepy because it was dusk so I feel like you know owls are nocturnal day I don't know if you know this so it's like you come at dusk it's like for us it's like dawn It's usually a problem if you see one in the daytime Still kind of like a little Rusty I don't know I'm not an owlologist You know there's a show hypothetical that happened to a Well a friend of a friend let's call it There was my partner Anthony His broker like They own a boat We're down in Key West During the storm a black bag full of cocaine floated into their boats I will give you one guess as to what they did they had the party of their lives I mean they called the cops immediately the authorities Dan can you imagine that the authorities I mean if they would have called Anthony first you might never see me again we did the math on this it's about two million dollars worth of cocaine in there oh wow you have to return that you don't have to do it says who you don't have to do well you're guilty of a crime if you do not I didn't know what was in it if you get, uh, if, they actually ask them, hey, did you keep any for yourself?
[155] And all they had to do is say, nope.
[156] See?
[157] What a great criminal defense.
[158] That'll surely work in a courtroom.
[159] I didn't know what was in it, not guilty.
[160] That would, uh, give me as your lawyer.
[161] I'm Dave Chappelle do that.
[162] I did not know.
[163] I wasn't supposed to do that.
[164] Put it on the poll, please, juju at Lebitard show.
[165] Uh, would you return $2 million worth of cocaine?
[166] that floated into your boat and also put on the pole is kindly euthanize redundant because I don't know if it is or not if the creature is in pain if it's not kind it's murder yeah yeah can you can you unkindly euthanize the question I think I think of euthanization don't offer up any last words as an act you're trying you're aspiring to kindness when when you're euthanizing yes something with animals but that humans it's you know Dr. working and it's complicated though there are these pods I would think that Tony I would think that you should do the most that you can to help that owl but I understand you not wanting to touch it my Valerie was late to our first date because she came upon a bird in a similar situation and she took it to a place that rescues birds nearby you believe that that's a good excuse if it wasn't true I for one can't believe that Tony did that.
[167] Not the whole owl thing.
[168] Just like answer a stranger's question in Miami.
[169] If someone asked me, do you know anything about owls?
[170] I just, I don't know.
[171] I just keep moving.
[172] I was feeling good that day.
[173] I was like, yeah, let me do a little joke here for my wife.
[174] Let me be kind to my neighbor.
[175] And then now look, look what happened.
[176] Owlologist.
[177] And I got to touch a dirty owl.
[178] I don't want to touch a dirty owl.
[179] If she asked me, do you know anything about owls?
[180] I would have been like, Tom Herman's coach in there now.
[181] I don't know.
[182] I was walking my dog at 5 o 'clock this morning and a A woman came up to me and the dog starts barking at her and she asks me, pointing to the beach, it's still very dark, obviously.
[183] Is that, is it safe out there?
[184] And I'm looking at her.
[185] I'm like, you're in Miami.
[186] I'm like, there's nothing safe in the dark out here.
[187] Like, there's nothing out here.
[188] What is it about the ocean that it gets, like, substantially more dangerous the moment the lights go out?
[189] Because you go to the beach, right?
[190] You're walking around.
[191] there's no there's nothing there you're just kind of hanging out the moment it gets dark everything's there just waiting for you to come in a lot of predators feed do they yeah with darks uh with uh with sharks i call them darks yeah you know some people call them predators too sharks you were trying to say keep it moving yeah keeping a moving uh but yeah sharks they tell you if you're afraid of sharks stay out of the water during dusk and dawn those those hours in particular when visibility is also bad because you can have mistaken identity you know i'm i'm here for your service folks put it on the poll at lebitard show is the ocean terrifying at night i also used to avoid wearing yellow because when i was growing up they would call that yum yum yellow but then myth busters for shark week special in the early aughts they busted that one you think then you guys thought as kids that sharks like yellow things it was yum yum yellow dude like there's a lot of education on sharks.
[192] Man, I just can't.
[193] Now I made it a coach of Texas.
[194] Well, I think you've been, I understand if you would be afraid and leaking confidence since sharks.
[195] Calling them darks?
[196] Yeah.
[197] Not my proudest moment.
[198] Do bulls see red?
[199] Is that also a myth, or is that real?
[200] There are bull sharks, and they sometimes don't care.
[201] Yeah.
[202] I know that you're not, you know, a fish.
[203] I don't care.
[204] I'm hungry.
[205] That's not a myth, Tony.
[206] That is why Matador's the capes.
[207] are red because that is something that they use.
[208] I would say that one of the unsafest places on our beaches, if you want to make sure to keep your property at night, is outside of Live, which is right on the ocean, where it is a maneuver by beautiful people in Live to lure the party outside so that everybody goes into the water, not wearing the clothes, and everything that gets left inside the clothes, wallets and whatnot, get stolen by people who are working in coordination with the beautiful people inside of live.
[209] It's a crime factory outside there.
[210] Did you see on 10th Street on South Beach, which is right by our old Clevelander, there was a saltwater crocodile on the shore?
[211] No way.
[212] No way.
[213] All the good stuff happens after we leave.
[214] A lot of bad stuff has happened too.
[215] Well, it happened while we were there.
[216] Yeah, but I mean, it's not like your bad stuff is out of happening.
[217] I want to go back to this crime syndicate with beautiful people.
[218] And presumably ugly people are doing the stealing, right?
[219] Like, you're not going to waste a beautiful person going to go in the wallets, right?
[220] He's right.
[221] You need them in the club.
[222] They're the bait, right?
[223] They're the breakers.
[224] They're like, hey, everybody watches this.
[225] Let's go.
[226] I like the, I'm imagining a meeting, right?
[227] Like, there's one guy walking around, everyone sitting around the table.
[228] You're probably wondering why I'll call you all here today.
[229] He says, all right, this is what we're going to do.
[230] You, beautiful people.
[231] Go to the club.
[232] Have a good time.
[233] Drink.
[234] Lure them outside into the water.
[235] You, ugly people.
[236] wait until they're in the water, then grab the stuff.
[237] I'll be back here at HQ, making sure everything goes all right.
[238] It's a good crime move.
[239] We'll agree, right?
[240] Everyone can agree that you can see tourists falling for that every time.
[241] Man, this is the luckiest night of my life.
[242] I can't believe this beautiful person wants to skinny dip with me at 1 o 'clock in the morning.
[243] What a great night in Miami.
[244] All of my things are gone when I get to shore.
[245] If you just heated my advice, you'd say out of the water at that time.
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[254] Is it Brandon Ayuk, T. Higgins, or Devante Adams?
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[259] Don Lebatard Sugar Daddies These things I'm telling you I love sugar daddy They get stuck in your teeth Like you can't chew them They're like impossible to chew They're impossible to chew They're impossible to chew Stugats This is the Dan Labatar show With a Stugats The number of things people will do Because someone beautiful Ask them to do it It's staggering It's and the number of dumb things In particular on Cynaphobe called Mike and Dave need wedding dates, right?
[260] Oh, not a fan.
[261] Yeah.
[262] I mean, well, that's what Cinepho does.
[263] Although you have law -abiding citizen on there this weekend.
[264] This movie, rocks.
[265] That's a banger.
[266] Rocks.
[267] That scene in the courtroom where he goes off on the judge, wow.
[268] That's a great movie.
[269] I don't like Jar Butler.
[270] I heard you the other day say, P .S. I love you is a movie he cried at.
[271] I was like, are you fucking out of your mind?
[272] But this movie, I was like, I don't like him, but man, I had to hand it to him.
[273] Acted his ass off.
[274] Really?
[275] How is he with the accent in that one?
[276] Terrible.
[277] It's a tough one.
[278] It's a very strong one.
[279] It always sounds like he's eating something.
[280] You got the lip right there.
[281] But Mike and Dave Neat wedding dates, right?
[282] In it, there's a scene where the two Adam Devine and and.
[283] Is it his Zach Efron?
[284] Yeah.
[285] That was a weird pool thing that he had, huh?
[286] Yeah, they had Aubrey Plaza and Anna Kendrick as their dates, right?
[287] And so the girls are really great on ATVs, and they do like these weird stunts or they jump off a ramp or whatever.
[288] And then the guys are expected to do in kind when all they wanted to do is go to Jurassic Park or whatever.
[289] So my question at the time was, what's the dumbest thing you've ever done to impress a date?
[290] or someone beautiful like would it be running into the ocean and leaving all your clothes on the beach outside of live would it be riding an ATV and trying to jump over a ramp even though you have a nominee here because you're going to make me go through a data bank here and does it have to be one singular act or can it be like over the course of a few days?
[291] Oh, the course of a few days if it increases in dumbness that's even better.
[292] I love those types of stories.
[293] I feel like everyone has a version of this where it's like you would, would never do this, but because this beautiful person asked you, you're like, okay, I'm good.
[294] In sixth grade, I lip -sank Girl on TV by LFO.
[295] Still gives me the hebie -jeebies.
[296] LFO, is that new kids on the blog?
[297] A bunch of hits.
[298] Chinese food makes music.
[299] I'm really unfortunate story behind that band.
[300] They're basically cursed.
[301] Are they?
[302] Yeah, I think just like F is around.
[303] Cursed by making bad music.
[304] I mean, come on, it's too soon.
[305] Like two of them perished.
[306] Really?
[307] Yeah.
[308] They made bad music.
[309] Terminally.
[310] They made bad.
[311] illness.
[312] Bad music before that happened though.
[313] Yes.
[314] There you go.
[315] Tony, I feel like you've done some stuff.
[316] I've been with my wife since 2009.
[317] But early on, you did not do anything dumb to impress her?
[318] Yes.
[319] And the one story that I think of is, so my parents' house, they have like a little kind of like roof outside in the, in the backyard.
[320] There's like a roof that connects from the regular, like, triangles roof.
[321] So like kind of like a gazebo roof kind of thing.
[322] Not super sturdy, but sturdy enough that you can walk around on it and do things if you need to work on it.
[323] So the second Valentine's Day I think we had together.
[324] There it is.
[325] It's February 14th.
[326] Yeah.
[327] And I was like, you know what I think I can do up there?
[328] I think I can put a table up there with chairs and we can have dinner on the roof and like, see the stars.
[329] Yeah, it's very nice, right?
[330] So I take the table, right?
[331] I take it up.
[332] I have a buddy of mine help me. We put it up on the roof.
[333] It works.
[334] I'm like, okay, I think we're good here.
[335] We both sat on the chairs.
[336] It worked, whatever.
[337] And then I was like, man, so how am I going to get her onto the roof without spoiling the surprise of, hey, we're here on the roof?
[338] Wow, this one's tricky.
[339] This is a very tricky one.
[340] So my 20 or 17 -year -old brain is like, you know what we can do?
[341] It's a good idea.
[342] We can blindfold her.
[343] Oh, my God.
[344] And then we can take her up the roof via a ladder on another roof that we could climb up the triangle part, down the triangle part into the roof, right?
[345] long story short we go pick up dinner i don't remember where i have her blindfolded i'm driving the car i get back to the house so i'm taking her with me we're walking down and there's like a ladder that goes up to like a shed roof to then the real roof to then climb up the roof so she's there standing blindfolded and i'm looking at her and sweating probably and looking at the roof and i'm like how in the hell am i about to do this so for like 30 seconds i'm just standing there i grab a ladder pull her up i i basically push her up the ladder i'm like all right don't worry just take a step here make a left there.
[346] Honey, if this is an owl thing, I'm going to kill you.
[347] She finally makes it up.
[348] I make it up.
[349] I walk her up and down.
[350] And then she takes out the blindfold.
[351] We're on the roof or whatever.
[352] It was incredible night.
[353] Everything was great.
[354] Oh, my God, it's incredible.
[355] You know, all these years later, we're going to have a kid.
[356] Everything was great.
[357] But the moment she takes a bad step on that roof or a shingle comes off and she flies off the roof and something happens to her.
[358] Yeah, you got a pregnant wife that you're greeting an owl with and she's in a wheelchair because you paralyzed her.
[359] 17 years earlier.
[360] Yeah, exactly.
[361] How'd you get the food up?
[362] Was it before or after her?
[363] It was after, so I sat her down, and then I went back down, and then I went back up again.
[364] Just left her on the roof by herself.
[365] You took the blindfolded.
[366] No, no, she was blindfolded to.
[367] I said, don't move.
[368] Literally, please do not move.
[369] He married a saint.
[370] Does she like you?
[371] Very much so, I think.
[372] I have to trust them.
[373] I enjoy that a mean identified, Tony.
[374] As you look like somebody who can have a story here as having done something extraordinarily dumb.
[375] The only thing that I could think of is that outside of Bayside, many years ago, I ended up having taken a gondola to an island that they put out food for you and stuff, and it's dark at night, you're near water, and there was so much movement in those trees that made me realize this romantic picnic that we're having in the dark is rat infested.
[376] Like, there's just a staggering amount of movement in these trees that is totally unacceptable.
[377] That'll kill, put it on the pole, juju, will rats kill the romance very quickly on whatever it is you were trying to achieve?
[378] Yes, but I don't, I mean, it doesn't seem like a dumb idea on the front end.
[379] It never does, Dan.
[380] Well, yours does, no, but yours does, though.
[381] At a cold people try to walk me off that one, and I was like, nope, blindfolded.
[382] Doing it.
[383] Blindfolded on ladder seems like something that's not going to work.
[384] You workshopped this with other people?
[385] No, of course.
[386] How do you think I got the table up there?
[387] He was 17 years old.
[388] Workshops and I was like, guys, this is a big idea, right?
[389] Like, I don't know.
[390] I was like, I'm doing it.
[391] I mean, mine, I do have one.
[392] It was more of a money spending thing.
[393] So I've only really dated two people in my life as my ex -husband and my current partner.
[394] And Anthony, when we were first hanging out, wasn't really sure he could date guys.
[395] Like, he knew he was into guys, but he really didn't know if he could date guys.
[396] So he sort of ruled me out as dating.
[397] And I was like, okay, whatever.
[398] And so for my 40th birthday, I was like, I got to do something.
[399] I'm divorced now.
[400] I want to have some fun.
[401] I'm going to Vegas.
[402] I'd never been to Vegas.
[403] And I wanted to go all out.
[404] I wanted to go to EDC, which is the Electric Daisy Carnival.
[405] It's an EDM festival.
[406] And I was like, you know what?
[407] I'm taking you.
[408] I'm paying for everything.
[409] And just to level things out, not to make it weird.
[410] I'm taking my buddy Tony, too.
[411] It's just a guy's thing.
[412] And really, I was just trying to impress one of them.
[413] It was a good trip.
[414] And the crazy part about this is me never having been to Vegas.
[415] was the itinerary that I put together.
[416] I don't know of partiers, like professional party people who could have accomplished the itinerary I put together.
[417] We're talking pool party in the day, EDC at night, back to another pool party in the day, EDC at night, just back to back to back.
[418] Two days?
[419] Five straight days.
[420] Five days of two a days in Vegas.
[421] Four straight, and then I picked up a fifth day at the tail end, and holy crap, was that a mistake?
[422] Like, I'm recovering from that to this day.
[423] Yeah, this harkens back to, do you need a vacation sometimes after a vacation.
[424] Are they always relaxing?
[425] And no, the first place that I went is music festival vacations are never relaxing.
[426] The gauntlet that you just laid out seems unholy.
[427] I kept the itinerary just to show people in the future because it was wild and made it to all of them except one pool party.
[428] Music festival is rampant enough.
[429] Vegas on top of that is excessive.
[430] We've been together for seven years since.
[431] I'm not saying it didn't work out.
[432] Clearly, all of these stories.
[433] Well, mine doesn't end in anything other than, you know, a horrible memory of a rat situation.
[434] Yeah, it became very obvious.
[435] Yeah, occasionally she'll walk past a TV that's on mute on highly question and be like, I think that guy took me on the worst date that I've ever been on.
[436] That's a rat boy.
[437] A rat guy.
[438] Remember Jebel Hill said, like, in her group text with her friends, every dude that they've dated has a nickname, this mattress guy or whatever.
[439] Glazed donut is one of them, yeah.
[440] You're a rat guy in some group chat somewhere.
[441] Yeah, I mean, it was such a good idea on the front end.
[442] But when you asked me, did she know, there was no not knowing.
[443] I mean, it was noisy.
[444] It was dark.
[445] And I can tell that's too much movement.
[446] What is that?
[447] I thought it was owls initially.
[448] Should have called me. I'm not an allologist.
[449] What do I know?
[450] Mike seems like he's got one.
[451] You got a good one.
[452] I just had the LFO lip -sinking thing.
[453] I've been with Cynthia for a very long time outside of like a brief.
[454] moment in my 20s when I was single, what?
[455] I dropped a beer around somebody and been like, well, that's it.
[456] See you.
[457] Did Cynthia make you do that?
[458] Or did you do it like you think, oh, she's going to like this?
[459] What?
[460] The lip -sinking thing?
[461] No, I wasn't with Cynthia that early.
[462] No, this was a different girl.
[463] You married a saint.
[464] It saved you from that life of just absolute buffoonery.
[465] Thank God's cell phones weren't around back then.
[466] I'd never survive that.
[467] When you talk about dropping a drink, I do remember, this is so funny.
[468] It's not a date, but it's hugely embarrassing and it's a memory that has scars on it.
[469] So there was a woman on campus who I noticed her many different places and beautiful and I end up on an elevator with just her.
[470] And so now I've got nine floors to do whatever it is that I'm going to do.
[471] Spits of game, baby.
[472] Straight out of a movie.
[473] Elevator pitch.
[474] Wait to you.
[475] Wait to you see how this ends.
[476] Wait to you.
[477] Thank you.
[478] Yes.
[479] It's an elevator pitch and wait to you see what happens here.
[480] So I'm a little nervous on the front end and just instinctively, I look at my watch just sort of nervously, right?
[481] Just forgetting I've got a soda in it, in my hands.
[482] Oh, no. And so I look at my watch and now I've just poured soda on my feet.
[483] Like right in front of her.
[484] Why are I thinking about it?
[485] No, it gets worse.
[486] No, no, no. Oh, your soda guy in that group chat.
[487] No, it gets worse.
[488] It gets worse.
[489] Now I'm in a hurry to get off the elevator.
[490] which stops a little short and I'm in such a hurry that I trip on my way out and throw the soda against the opposite elevator door in tripping out the door.
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[506] Don Lebertard.
[507] I think I would have been on his side.
[508] I would have to you like, what did you say?
[509] I'm telling you, me and my friend, the rest of the way home, all we kept saying was, I ain't cheating.
[510] Stugats.
[511] I think you got your ass.
[512] I think he got your ass.
[513] I got his ass.
[514] Chris won this one for sure.
[515] Not pathetic.
[516] It was great.
[517] This is the Don Levitar show with a Stugat.
[518] I started watching Rounders last night.
[519] I'm just going to turn into my dad.
[520] When my dad watched movies from the 50s, I'm just going to be watching movies from the 90s because that's when movies were their best.
[521] Rounders, what a film.
[522] Dude, I had that same exact idea because we were listening to music as we were packing up the house because we were moving.
[523] And we were listening to 80s music.
[524] and it was like, babe, you know that this is like listening to music from the 40s in the 80s, right?
[525] Like, this is insane.
[526] It's wild when people do that.
[527] Whenever I see, like, we're actually closer, you know, to the, you know, Cuban Missile Crisis that we are to blah, blah, blah.
[528] That stuff always freaks me out.
[529] But yeah, it finally watched upon me because I just thought I was some dude that was appreciating nostalgia.
[530] But no, I'm slowly turning into that creepy old dad that just watched Turner Classic movies the entire time when I fire up Rounder.
[531] And I'm like, isn't this great?
[532] And it's 30 years old.
[533] I can't believe that some of the movies like that I like when I attach 30 years to them, Pulp Fiction just turned 30.
[534] And I just can't believe stuff like that.
[535] Rounders came out in 98.
[536] So we're not quite there yet.
[537] But the reason why I had it on my brain was like Matt Damon just mentioned in an interview.
[538] He's like, that's actually a sequel we've been talking about doing, revisiting these characters.
[539] Wouldn't it be interesting, especially Worm?
[540] Wouldn't it be interesting to see?
[541] their characters now, how the sport has changed, how poker has changed, and how everything around it has changed.
[542] It'd be an interesting story to revisit, and it got me wanting to watch and so far so good.
[543] I heard you guys talking about Beetlejuice 2 the other day.
[544] Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, but I don't think it's called Beetlejuice 2.
[545] No, it's Beetlejuice, Beatlejuice.
[546] Dan, let me tell you something.
[547] When you go to the movie theater, you think, you know, where they got all the showtimes, like this movie.
[548] You think they're going to say Beetlejuice, whatever the name is?
[549] Or they're just going to say Beetlejuice 2, 10 o 'clock, 2 o 'clock.
[550] That's how they do it.
[551] That's how I go.
[552] I go off the movie theater board.
[553] If it's Beetlejuice 2, it's Beatles 2.
[554] We're not going to, we're not here for your cute little titles.
[555] But my question was, how do you guys feel about sequels, not reboots, but sequels that happened like 30 years later?
[556] Like Twister?
[557] Like Twister.
[558] The other one I think about a lot is Wall Street Money Never Sleeps.
[559] Yeah.
[560] Is that a standalone sequel?
[561] Because I think you need to, since you have characters held over from the first one, you need to know Gordon Gecko, right?
[562] No, it's an actual sequel.
[563] Gordon Gecko gets out of prison and...
[564] I like that.
[565] I think there are some interesting stories to be told that are probably sometimes made better by time -changing things.
[566] Twisters stand -alone sequels, that kind of gets...
[567] That's a reboot.
[568] That's weird because there's like one or two anchors to the previous one.
[569] That feels like a reboot to me. I almost, sorry, I almost got caught watching a movie called The Twisters.
[570] I think it was on Apple TV, and I got like a minute in and I was like, wait a second, this is not that movie.
[571] That's not Helen Hunt.
[572] Oh, Dedo!
[573] Thursday Thunder time.
[574] And it is sponsored by Draft Kings.
[575] Stay tuned because you'll hear more about Draft Kings.
[576] And all it has to offer throughout the show, Draft Crings, the crown is yours.
[577] Jujugadi, cooked up, as usual, the Thursday Thunder for this week.
[578] And we'll give it to you quick.
[579] First leg, Noah Liles, winner of the 200 -meter race that's going on today at 230.
[580] I'm trying to do the math on that.
[581] Is that 1430?
[582] It would be cool.
[583] Right, boy, here we go.
[584] Jujugadi was hurting because Noah Liles sabotaged his last three -leg parlay.
[585] He got two out of three, and then Noah Liles loses in a qualifier to a Japanese guy with a foehog.
[586] It happens to all of us.
[587] Over to the second leg of the parlay.
[588] Around 2008 for me. Bogdan Bogdanovich, over 16 .5 points today in the Serbia versus U .S. game at 3 o 'clock, which is 15 o 'clock.
[589] Did we say 15 o 'clock?
[590] 1 ,500.
[591] 1 ,500.
[592] And in the 1 ,500 game, Serbia, U .S., what time is that?
[593] That's 3 o 'clock?
[594] 3 o 'clock.
[595] 15 o 'clock, over 7 .5 assists for LeBron James.
[596] So Noel Lyles, win of the men's 200 meter.
[597] Bogdan Bogdanovich over 16 .5 points.
[598] And LeBron James, the King, 7 .5 over assists.
[599] We're going to do something here with the post game that Izzy cooked.
[600] up for us that celebrates the departed Billy Bean.
[601] I told you about him yesterday, not the Oakland age GM that Chris Russo accidentally eulogized, but a baseball pioneer who I told you, the audience, and Izzy knows this, I've always associated with youth.
[602] That person has always looked incredibly young to me, no matter what his age was, because he took such good care of himself so we're going to do that in the post game but before we do that i did want to circle back around and talk about uh the loud mess that was made yesterday with colorado fans because i was inundated with a lot of this yesterday lebitard is such a troll for giving this guy a platform for his made up story and i don't know what's true here and I do believe that we grilled the journalist skeptically about his reporting, and it was only because Athlon Sports is not in the business of breaking news, and this story would have been a seismic one if it had been reported by an outlet that people trusted or believed in.
[603] But the number of people, and I'm glad we have Izzy here as a trained journalist, the number of people who now think that things can be published because of what social media is that are just made up, that things don't have to be lawyered, that things don't have to be edited, that there's not a process and rules to the reporting of things, reminds me of a conversation that I've had for the better part of 15 years that is disappointing to me with people who care about journalism the way I do.
[604] When I say flatly, we've lost.
[605] The game is over.
[606] We've lost.
[607] It's been undercut.
[608] People don't understand how it is that journalists come by their credibility.
[609] It's because there's a rule and systems in place to make sure that we don't get sued.
[610] Even when I'm interviewing that guy yesterday, I have to make sure with allegedly and reportedly that I am not taking the burden of responsibility of me, report.
[611] that there are guns and chaos in Dion's locker room because Dion can also sue me if I lend credence to a report that hasn't been vetted.
[612] And Izzy, I just want to talk to you because people don't care about all of this minutia.
[613] They don't care about journalism at all.
[614] Mainstream media at this point might as well be a slur.
[615] Mainstream media, the phrase, might as well be a slur because people don't believe that journalists have to do some responsible things to get.
[616] things in print.
[617] And I just find it really disappointing that college football fans or sports fans think that journalists are routinely out here making things up as if that's not something that has consequences.
[618] And I felt bad for the writer yesterday when I was listening to it for a couple of reasons.
[619] You know, one, I think he, and you were sort of drilling him on this, like you just said.
[620] And that in itself made me think, wow, Dan really.
[621] really needs to make sure that his listeners know that this person is a real journalist.
[622] And the reason that I felt bad for him is because back in the day, if you said, yes, I talked to the players, they told me this.
[623] Okay, we're good.
[624] Whether or not you think they have some sort of acts to grind or maybe they weren't telling the story exactly true because they're not there anymore, whatever.
[625] If you talked to a player, you report what that player said, if they gave you the permission to whether they use their name or not, that to me is perfectly fair journalism, especially if you keep digging and you back it up and there's other.
[626] people corroborating.
[627] And so it made me feel bad for him that he had to explain just sort of the basic rules of, yes, I talked to people, they gave me information, I checked on it, I reported it.
[628] The idea that other entities are not following up on this, well, if they haven't done work on it, it's a lot of work to start from scratch.
[629] And you've got probably a lot of people now in the defensive mode, right?
[630] Even those same players who came out and said things, even if they're in other schools, are now focusing on their school, they're focusing on their football, and they're probably only going to want to do that once.
[631] They don't want to get back in that mix.
[632] They don't want to be called the snitch and all this stuff.
[633] So I feel terrible for the writer because if it is true and I believe it to be true, I have no reason to believe it not to be true, then he's getting the short end of the stick here by just people who are judging journalism in general.
[634] And it's as you said, it's what has been done to journalism over the last, let's say, eight years.
[635] Do you remember years and years ago Stephen A. Smith came out with a report when Kevin Durant was still in Oklahoma that he wants He's going to be a Laker.
[636] He wants to be a Laker or something like that.
[637] And Kevin Durant said Stephen A. Smith made it up.
[638] Like you stopped making stuff up.
[639] And Stephen A had this very, you don't want to make an enemy out of me. Right.
[640] Like that whole thing, I remember explaining it to my friends at the time who said, there's a difference between saying you're wrong.
[641] Your sources are wrong.
[642] Your reporting is incorrect.
[643] You need better sources.
[644] And you made it up.
[645] Right.
[646] And I think at that point, this was a pre, you know, Donald Trump presidency America.
[647] It was easy for people to understand like, oh, okay.
[648] Now, because ever since Trump created this term fake news, there is a very strong reaction from people that if I hear something reported that is contrary to my beliefs or something that I like, it's not real.
[649] it was just made up.
[650] Like, that's become the instant reaction.
[651] Yeah, that's where I find the reaction to a curious, not surprising, because we've been living here in this reality, and we're only invoking politics because someone mainstream gave license to, like, if there's a story I don't like, let me just call it fake, and this is a move now with a response to news.
[652] I think that, yes, there's scrutiny that's applied and that what's the agenda that these players that have obviously left, what's their acts to grind?
[653] and you can ask all those questions.
[654] To me, you called it a seismic thing.
[655] I think if you're a Colorado fan, that's really where you attack this thing.
[656] It's like, okay, these players left.
[657] You don't mean to tell me there aren't fights in a lot of locker rooms.
[658] Not that big of a deal.
[659] If you want to tell me this just based on Dion's reputation and what he was going to bring to Colorado, I'd say, okay, that's probably going to happen there.
[660] No, there's some bad things, especially with the guns.
[661] I think that stuff needs to be addressed, and I think they've worked to address that.
[662] Coach Prime has been strong in his offense there.
[663] But if you're a Colorado fan, like, for your default to be like, this is fake, to not be like, this is a little blown out of proportion because it's us, because we have this spot.
[664] Like, usually like, as a persecuted Miami fan, like, that's usually my pivot.
[665] Just the idea that your first off ramp isn't, it's incorrect.
[666] It's literally, he made it up.
[667] Like, this dude was sitting like, I haven't blown up yet.
[668] The combination, though, is interesting to me. The combination of you have this over here where people don't believe in the mainstream media, and then you have the general zealotry that you find around college sports or sports in general.
[669] When Mike says Miami fans have a persecution complex, yes, they do, but they were persecuted as well.
[670] Colorado fans may have a persecution complex, but they've also felt persecuted, like legitimately persecuted.
[671] because of how outsized the attention around their program is.
[672] And I get that, but they have a charmed existence too.
[673] They're immediate, I would say more than anything, they're immediate darling.
[674] We'll see.
[675] If they don't have success, I can see this unraveling because Coach Prime.
[676] And because of all those other factors that go into this, fair and unfair, like I could see this going really sideways if they don't have success.
[677] But I would say generally, it's a charmed existence.
[678] You have people giving you credit and broadcasting from your campus because they love this story.
[679] You say charmed existence, but charmed existence is generally.
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