MFM Minisode 321

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] And welcome to my favorite murder.

[2] The minisode.

[3] That's right.

[4] We read your stories.

[5] This time it's being videoed for the fan cult, right?

[6] Hi, fan cult.

[7] Hi.

[8] Hey.

[9] Put makeup on just for you.

[10] So much eyeliner.

[11] Nothing like going for weeks without wearing makeup and then sitting down with just a face full of pancake for this thing.

[12] I usually try to plan something after these because I'm like, I'm not going to waste this face of fucking makeup.

[13] You know, it never happens.

[14] I never put makeup on.

[15] So if I'm going to do it, I'm going to use it.

[16] Especially to go all the way to the state of putting on eyebrows.

[17] That's a real, like, you better get outside.

[18] That is the difference between my weekend makeup and my weekday makeup is eyebrows.

[19] Yeah.

[20] Hey, you want to go first?

[21] Sure.

[22] All right.

[23] I'm not going to read you the subject line of this.

[24] It just starts, hi, my name's Emily and I'm a younger sister.

[25] And then in asterx, it goes, Hi, Emily.

[26] My sister Jessica and I are four years apart and growing up was exactly as you'd expect.

[27] In true little sister fashion, if I ever had the chance to hang out with, be talked to, or even be looked at by my older sister, I would do whatever it took.

[28] In true older sister fashion, she knew this and would take advantage.

[29] On this particular day, she had no say in the matter and we were forced to spend time together.

[30] Her mom was outrunning errands, which left our dad to entertain us.

[31] This resulted in him, giving his seven -year -old and three -year -old daughters a bucket, a shovel, and instructions to go shovel up our dog Penny's business in the backyard.

[32] Three -year -old!

[33] So they're like babies.

[34] The same dog that always got to be Jessica's pet when we played house, which left me with the cat, Garpey, who never wanted to play house and would always scratch me as I pulled him out from under the bed.

[35] But I had no choice.

[36] If I wanted to play house, I had to have a pet, Jessica's rules.

[37] Anyways, we're in the backyard.

[38] My sister begins forming a plan.

[39] on how she can make this experience worse for me and better for her.

[40] No more than 10 minutes later, my dad looks out the kitchen window to find my sister standing on top of the Little Tikes picnic table, pointing to a pile in the yard with her shovel.

[41] As my dad watches, he sees Little Angel me running over to the pile that was pointed out, picking it up bare -handed, placing it in my sister's shovel, and then she tosses it over the fence behind her.

[42] Oh, my God!

[43] As soon as it's gone, she pulled.

[44] points to another spot, I skip over to pick up Penny's poop, set it in her shelf, and again she tosses it over the fence.

[45] What a kickoff to this mini.

[46] So, yeah.

[47] There's a lot to unpack here.

[48] My sister, while as evil as she is, you have to give her credit.

[49] It takes a special kind of seven -year -old mind to come up with that.

[50] Me, pure, adorable, innocent, loyal, no notes.

[51] Our father starting to make sense where my older sister got this evil side from, as he did nothing to stop this and let it carry on until the backyard was spotless.

[52] When he tells the story now, he says that he was just truly impressed and couldn't bring himself to stop what he was singing.

[53] I have so many other stories like this one as we were growing up, but I'm happy to report that we are now best friends and have gone to see y 'all live both times you are in Dallas.

[54] And I could bet real money that she's crying over this being read by y 'all right now.

[55] Hey, Jess, I did it.

[56] I sent in the email.

[57] Stay sexy and stay strong, younger siblings.

[58] You'll eventually wear those older siblings down and will become friends, Emily.

[59] That is so true.

[60] That's hilarious and terrible at the same time.

[61] Truly disgusting.

[62] Okay, this one's called, Do You Want Fries Without Murder?

[63] Hello, MFF family.

[64] On my 16th birthday, I accepted a job at the local McDonald's, a pretty normal right of passage for teens in the area.

[65] I like that they phrase it, I accepted a job.

[66] Right.

[67] They put in their bid, and I accepted the offer.

[68] One day, the police came into the store.

[69] not unusual, we were often walkie -talkied by the police to delay customers who they were coming to arrest one of the few thrills of the job.

[70] But this time they asked to speak with me. My little heart thumping and my head racing trying to think about what I might have done, we headed to the office.

[71] The conversation was pretty eventful as I was still a minor and they needed to arrange an interview and my parents were present.

[72] The police came to my house and sat down with me and my mom.

[73] They pulled pictures out of a file that showed me on CCTV at the front counter of McDonald's serving customers.

[74] In the blurry photo, two girls stood leaning on the counter talking to me a few minutes after we'd open the store at 6am.

[75] The police asked me if I could remember anything about that day.

[76] Months had passed since that morning and being a teenager on the early shift, let's be honest, I was probably hung over.

[77] I had nothing to offer them.

[78] I don't know what they were writing down, but they proceeded to write notes on the zero information I could give them.

[79] My mother shouted at them for not using a mat and scratching the table, a moment I've always treasured.

[80] The police started to elaborate on why they were here.

[81] The girls in the photo, who were friends of my friends, had committed a grisly murder just two hours before they came in for their Mick Breakfast.

[82] Murder sure does work up an appetite.

[83] They acted normal, nothing to trigger the murderino in me, no dots of blood or shaking hands, just too hungry teenage girls.

[84] The body of a local teenager was found on a country road in his car one morning.

[85] He was a happy -go -lucky type of character and had a passion for DJing.

[86] story goes, one of the girls performed sexual acts for him in exchange for money earlier in the day.

[87] They'd bought alcohol and gone on a daytime vendor before meeting up with him again later that night.

[88] The police found texts between the girls encouraging each other to start the attack with the knives they'd taken from their home.

[89] Good.

[90] They had directed him to a remote area, then swiftly took turns to stab him.

[91] They'd ran home to shower off, brag to their housemates, and shown photos they'd taken, then headed into town for some much -needed McMuffins.

[92] The girls were rounded up pretty quickly after all the bragging, but not before a good breakfast served by yours truly.

[93] Love Jasmine.

[94] Classic hometown that we always ask for.

[95] Pretty dark.

[96] Yeah, pretty dark.

[97] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[98] Absolutely.

[99] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash?

[100] Exactly.

[101] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.

[102] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?

[103] That's right.

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[105] Give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.

[106] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.

[107] So give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.

[108] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.

[109] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner for managing our sales, and if you're a business owner, you can too.

[110] Connect with customers in line and online.

[111] Do retail right with Shopify.

[112] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.

[113] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.

[114] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.

[115] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[116] Goodbye.

[117] I'm not going to read the subject line of this one.

[118] It just starts, hi Karen in Georgia.

[119] I just finished listening to Karen's story of Felix Caravall racing at the Olympics, and I thought you might enjoy hearing how my great -grandfather kind of randomly won an Olympic gold medal.

[120] At the 1928 Olympics in San Maritz, Switzerland, there were two American teams entered in the five -man bobsled race.

[121] However, there was a small problem of the five -man teams, only having two men each, a driver and a brake man, and not enough teammates to fill out the middle.

[122] So the U .S. team placed ads in newspapers inviting Americans living in Europe to try out for the team.

[123] My great -godfather Joffrey was studying in Germany at the time with his wife and their two daughters, my grandmother and her sister.

[124] He responded to the ad, and without being given a physical and having zero bobsled experience, he was invited to join the team.

[125] When he got to San Maritz, the hotel where the American team was full, so he ended up bunking with the Canadian hockey team.

[126] The American team wasn't planning on practicing over the next few days, so Joffrey ended up practicing with the Polish bobsled team, who was down a member due to illness.

[127] The race was held on the last day of the Olympics, and my great -grandfather was assigned to American bobsled number two, which was nicknamed Satan.

[128] Satan and my grandfather ended up coming in first place, beating out the other Americans bobsled by 0 .5 seconds, with the Germans coming in third.

[129] Apparently, there were no podiums for the victors and no music played when the first.

[130] flags were raised, and an Olympic official found Jeffrey in the crowd and handed him a box and just said, here's your medal.

[131] The wife of one of the Canadian hockey players suggested that my great -grandfather take home the American flag from the closing ceremonies as a souvenir, which he did.

[132] So that's the story of how my great -grandfather bunked with the Canadians, trained with the polls, won with the Americans, and never touched a bobsled again.

[133] Stayed sexy and live with the confidence of a straight white man trying out for the Olympic sport he has zero experience in, Marina.

[134] That's a good one.

[135] Classic grandpa or godfather.

[136] It feels like it's only recently they started making rules for things like that.

[137] It was before it was kind of like first come for serve Olympics.

[138] Yeah.

[139] This one's called The Classic Badass Grandpa Story.

[140] Hello, Karen, Georgia, and the menagerie of Murdering Now Associates, both human and pet.

[141] For years, I've been trying to get myself to focus long enough to write a hometown.

[142] Should it be about my great grandma who was a radium girl?

[143] or about another great -grandma that was a victim of Charles Cullen, allegedly.

[144] After finally pushing through the pandemic brain fog, I decided on a good old -fashioned, light -hearted, badass grandpa story.

[145] My grandpa on my dad's side passed away when I was three, so I only really ever got to know him through family folklore and Google searches.

[146] I've always loved hearing stories about him, but this one is hands -down my favorite.

[147] For some context, my grandpa, Augie Leo, was a professional football player in the 1940s.

[148] It says, think leather helmets and daily concussions.

[149] And well known in the area, especially in the New Jersey town that they lived in, Clifton.

[150] After retiring from football, he became a sports writer with his own column at the local Herald newspaper.

[151] If he wasn't covering a game, he had a pretty regular schedule in the office.

[152] One day, he decided to leave the office to have lunch at home and unexpectedly found someone robbing their house.

[153] Luckily, my grandma and dad weren't home.

[154] Needless to say, he was pissed.

[155] The man robbing the house tried to climb out of a window in their tiny Levitin style 1950s ranch, which my grandpa promptly pulled him right back through.

[156] As a kid, I was told, quote, Grandpa dragged him to the other side of the house to call the police.

[157] As an adult, I understand that as Grandpa beat the shit out of him while dragging him to the phone to call the police.

[158] Once the cops were called, my grandpa proceeded to bring the man outside and sit on him on the front lawn until the cops got there.

[159] You may be asking, did this man try to press assault charges against my grandpa?

[160] And my answer would be, yes, yes, he did.

[161] Did I mention he had been released from jail earlier that day?

[162] And it says the robber, not my grandpa.

[163] Obviously, the cops took him right back to jail.

[164] Anywho, thanks for reading this much longer than anticipated email.

[165] Finging every episode of FM has kept me sane, especially through the pandemic, during 14 -plus -hour car rides from Nashville to New Jersey and back and during work.

[166] You even taught me about important historical events that schools won't teach.

[167] I'm looking at you, Tulsa Race Massacre.

[168] Thank you a million times for being so authentic and open and giving us murderinos, permission to feel a little less weird about our fascination and love of true crime.

[169] SSDGM, Jamie.

[170] Wait, so her grandfather did that.

[171] It was the late 40s.

[172] Did I get the year wrong?

[173] I think it was the 50s, I think.

[174] Because in the 40s, he was a football player.

[175] So it's probably the 50s or 60s.

[176] So this is when he was like a husband father?

[177] Yeah.

[178] Yeah.

[179] That's hilarious.

[180] Yeah.

[181] Someone's breaking your.

[182] your house, you're like, that's fine.

[183] I'm just going to beat the shit out of you.

[184] Yeah.

[185] Must be nice.

[186] Must be nice.

[187] This email just starts.

[188] Hey, oh, it was Christmas Eve, probably around 1978.

[189] My dad had called home to tell my mom that he was stopping by the office Christmas party, then heading to confession, like all good Catholics on Christmas Eve.

[190] Right, Karen?

[191] He would be home in plenty of time to head out with my mom and sisters to my aunt's Christmas party that night.

[192] My mom waited and waited for him to come home, knowing how my Irish dad could linger at parties.

[193] As my mom was starting to really worry that something happened to him, the police called.

[194] Her worry turned to fury pretty immediately.

[195] As it turned out, my dad had really enjoyed the office party and was pulled over by the police and arrested for drunk driving on his way to confession.

[196] My very Italian mother told him to have a nice night in jail and hung up on him.

[197] Furious, she loaded my sisters into the car and headed to my aunt's house.

[198] When my mom and sisters walked in the door at the party, everyone started asking about my dad.

[199] My mom, somewhat rightfully, told everyone that he was in jail, and for all she cared, he could rot there.

[200] And then in parentheses, it says, yes, she feltless despite how deeply she loved him.

[201] After about an hour, my mom and aunts realized that all of the uncles were missing from the party.

[202] They weren't in the house.

[203] They weren't drinking out back.

[204] They were simply gone.

[205] It took some time to figure it out, but, ooh boy, if everyone thought my mom couldn't get madder, they were wrong.

[206] Without telling each other, the uncles had one by one slipped out of the party and gone to bail out my dad.

[207] They were all surprised to see each other at the jail.

[208] With my dad successfully bailed out and knowing that they would all be in deep trouble if they returned to the party, especially my dad.

[209] Instead, they went to a bar.

[210] Oh, my God.

[211] And continue drinking.

[212] These are my kind of people.

[213] God bless wives of the 70s and 80s.

[214] When my mom retells the story to this day, she clenches her teeth and says, oh, I was so mad at him, so mad.

[215] My dad died when he was 37, tragically and unexpectedly on the job.

[216] That's so young.

[217] I know.

[218] My mom was a 32 -year -old pregnant widow with a three -year -old and a nine -year -old.

[219] How she got through it all, I'll never fully understand.

[220] I'm so grateful to my entire extended family that keeps my dad alive through the many, many stories they tell.

[221] My dad's untimely death has pushed me to take chances and do my best to make him proud.

[222] It doesn't hurt to know he's always got my back.

[223] Stay sexy and don't get drunk on your way to confession, Katie.

[224] Oh, that is hilarious.

[225] I love that.

[226] I love that they all didn't know that the other was going.

[227] That it's so cute.

[228] Okay, this one's called Three Little Kids or Not.

[229] And it says, you know what?

[230] It's been a long time coming.

[231] Let's dive in.

[232] My name is Aisha.

[233] I was born and raised in Dubai, but my hometown is India.

[234] This story takes place in India.

[235] It's not my story, but my uncles.

[236] He was in fifth grade living his best school life.

[237] I'm really bad with dates, so I'm not even going to try to remember the year, but it was a long time ago.

[238] Back when parents let kids get kidnapped, eat grass, and drink pee, I don't know.

[239] Eat grass.

[240] One day, my uncle and four of his friends got back from school around 4 p .m. and decided to stay out and play.

[241] Around 11 p .m., they wanted to play hide and seek, which, look, listen, I don't trust myself to play hide and seek in broad daylight.

[242] I don't know why on earth you'd play in pitch darkness.

[243] Anyway, keep in mind he is in India, and if you know India at all, green is our motto.

[244] The entire land is covered with trees and forests.

[245] As my uncle continued to search for his friends in trees and bushes, he heard little kids giggling behind him.

[246] He whipped his head around, giving himself a whiplash to find all three of his friends laughing, hiding behind a tree.

[247] They started to run, and my uncle ran after them.

[248] Those three friends stopped running in front of a giant, very deep pit.

[249] Looking back at my uncle briefly, these idiots jumped into the pit.

[250] My uncle puzzled and confused, told them, don't be ridiculous.

[251] You can't get back out, and I'm not helping.

[252] The three friends laughed and asked my uncle to join them.

[253] Irritated, my uncle just said, find yourself a way out.

[254] I'm walking home.

[255] That being said, he left, and then it says, best friends forever.

[256] He reached home, opened the front door, and stopped in his tracks.

[257] He saw in the living room all three of his friends calmly sleeping on the front.

[258] floor.

[259] It says, Dun, dun, done.

[260] My uncle calmly walked up to them and woke them up to ask, what I would assume is, how did you get in before me and have zero mind stains on you?

[261] Turns out his friends were here since after they left school as they decided on a sleepover the prior day.

[262] As far as the conclusion would go, I don't know, but my family and I are Muslims and are religious.

[263] In our religion, we believe in an entity called J -I -N -S.

[264] That's J -I -N -S.

[265] I guess they stand somewhere between angels and devils.

[266] I'm not an expert.

[267] It said that gins can take the form of people.

[268] My uncle believes that it was an evil gin trying to trap him inside that God -forsaken pit.

[269] Ooh.

[270] Or he was just delusional playing that late at night.

[271] Stay sexy and grow the F out of hide and seek, damn it.

[272] Best wishes, question mark?

[273] Aisha.

[274] So basically, the kind of thing a gin would do would be like, come over here.

[275] It's a great idea to jump into this pit.

[276] And then you're down there and like, oh, where did my friends go?

[277] Totally.

[278] I feel like every religion or every, you know, ethnicity has some sort of, like, evil spirit like that that tries to trick you.

[279] Yeah.

[280] There's a movie also that came out last year called The Gin.

[281] Oh.

[282] DJ INN.

[283] And it actually got 86 % on Rotten Tomatoes.

[284] Oh, wow.

[285] It's a horror movie about just that very thing.

[286] Oh, shit.

[287] That's crazy.

[288] I'd never heard of it.

[289] A mute boy becomes trapped in his apartment with a sinister monster.

[290] I mean, come on.

[291] Learn about it.

[292] That batch was a real story time.

[293] We went on some real distant branches on that one.

[294] We really did.

[295] It went this way, went that way, up and down.

[296] It's all relevant here at the minisode.

[297] Please, send in any story you feel like telling us.

[298] Absolutely.

[299] And stay sexy.

[300] And don't get murdered.

[301] Goodbye.

[302] Elvis, do you want a cookie?

[303] This has been an exactly right production.

[304] Our senior producer is Hannah Kyle Crichton.

[305] Our producer is Alejandra Keck.

[306] This episode was engineered and mixed by Stephen Ray Morris.

[307] Our researchers are Marin McClashen and Sarah Blair Jenkins.

[308] Email your hometowns and fucking hoorays to My Favorite Murder at gmail .com.

[309] Follow the show on Instagram and Facebook at My Favorite Murder and Twitter at MyFave Murder.

[310] Goodbye.

[311] Follow My Favorite Murder on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you like to listen so you don't miss an episode.

[312] If you like what you hear, rate and review the show.

[313] Visit exactly right store .com to purchase my favorite murder merch.