#856 - Tony Hinchcliffe & Young Jamie

[0] The Joe Rogan experience.

[1] Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

[2] Three, two, one, live.

[3] Hey, everybody.

[4] We're doing a podcast tomorrow from West Side Barbell, Louis Simmons.

[5] So we decided to check our setup.

[6] You have to move in.

[7] Let's take care about touching the table.

[8] Oh, touching the table, okay.

[9] So we decided to do a practice run here.

[10] Young Tony Hinchcliff is here.

[11] Hello, Tony.

[12] Surprise, it's me. Hello.

[13] Surprise.

[14] it's Tony and of course young Jamie Vernon and I'm old Joe Rogan Hey We're here at Columbus Ohio Just got done having a nice meal And talked a bunch of shit And so we said hey we should go do a fucking podcast So here we are Now we're silent It's all happening We talked ourselves out We were talking about this woman We didn't talk about too much But we should But this woman who was the woman that Hillary Clinton brought up during the Trump debate because she was saying that Donald Trump humiliated this woman because he shamed her and humiliated her because she gained weight while she was a Miss Olympia.

[15] I missed this.

[16] I was in the bathroom when you guys had this time.

[17] She got up to 170 pounds, according to Trump.

[18] She went up from like 120 to 170 according to him.

[19] Probably not, right?

[20] She's probably gained like 30 pounds.

[21] But apparently she really did gain a fuckload of weight.

[22] And Hillary Clinton made this big deal about like how awful it was that he did that to her.

[23] And then they had these commercials already planned for the next day.

[24] So they launched these commercials the next day.

[25] And in the commercials, they show this woman.

[26] She's speaking in Spanish.

[27] She's talking about Donald Trump is terrible.

[28] What he did to me?

[29] He made me feel bad.

[30] He made me. He was scared.

[31] so then after that comes out people start researching her they find out that she drove a getaway car in a murder that she threatened a judge because the judge who was going after her boyfriend at the time that she drove away in the getaway car she threatened a judge said that she was going to kill the judge she had an illegitimate baby with a Mexican kingpin drug dealer all of the Mexican drug cartel kingpins came to the baby's christening wow Then she went on Big Brother, okay?

[32] Big Brother, she was engaged as some baseball player, went on Big Brother and fuck some other guy on the show while the cameras were on her, and she was yelling out in Spanish that he has a magnificent cot.

[33] Wow.

[34] The same lady that the other used in her commercials.

[35] She said, victim.

[36] So then they have her on CNN.

[37] Oh, my God.

[38] So Anderson Cooper interviews are on CNN.

[39] And Anderson Cooper says, some people are saying that you threaten a judge and that you drove a getaway car.

[40] Like he said, she was saying, everybody have a pass, okay?

[41] I'm not an angel.

[42] I'm not a bad person.

[43] But they're trying to take away from what he did.

[44] What he did was wrong, okay?

[45] What I did was 20 years ago.

[46] What he did was 20 years ago, too.

[47] All he did was calling fat.

[48] But in his defense, she probably was.

[49] She got fat.

[50] There's pictures of her.

[51] She definitely got fat.

[52] But, you know, ordinarily, that's a very rude thing to do.

[53] But when your job is to be a professional hot chick, it's like if you just decide, say like if you're a model for like a shaving cream, like if you like your whole thing is about your legs and your thing's about showing your legs like, oh I touched the mic, sorry.

[54] But your thing's about your sleek, smooth legs and you're like you know what?

[55] Fuck it.

[56] I'm letting these bitches grow.

[57] And everybody's like, hey, you can't.

[58] Your job is to have sleek smooth legs.

[59] No, I'm not.

[60] Fuck that.

[61] You're known for your nice legs.

[62] Yeah.

[63] But she's known for being a professional, attractive woman.

[64] And the whole day, he shouldn't objectify women.

[65] That is the whole point of being Ms. Olympia.

[66] So Hillary paid her to, obviously, if she's in an anti -Trump commercial, then that means Hillary paid her, right?

[67] Might not be money.

[68] It might just be attention because it gave her the opportunity to get back in the limelight.

[69] And apparently she's a giant attention whore.

[70] Oh, gotcha.

[71] I saw some last year or something I think She wrote a book I think so About Donald Trump Pretty fat Yeah we're looking this up We all have a pass We all have a pass Okay It's really funny You should fucking see it One thing I noticed the other day Was this commercial The anti -Trump Hillary It's a pro hit This message approved By Hillary Clinton Commercial where It's all the Compilation of all the worst things That Trump said Over the past year Whatever and it's literally his voice and the clip of him doing all these things and you know Mexicans are rapists and murders all the little sound bites and the commercial goes and it goes back to little kids back and forth like pictures of little kids and then it goes is this what you want your kids to see and I was watching this commercial and it was like the middle of the day and I'm thinking of myself you paid to put you're putting that stuff out there that's your commercial Yeah, that all played once.

[72] You just put that out there for the kids to see.

[73] Over and over and over again.

[74] Right.

[75] In the whole commercial, it's like, is this what you want your kids to see?

[76] It's like, you just spend $30 million on that commercial right then.

[77] Right, but in her defense, you know, this is what your kids just want to see as the leader, as like, their role model.

[78] I mean.

[79] As the leader of the free world.

[80] Trump is biting his tongue.

[81] We all know it.

[82] Once he drops that blowjob card, the whole world explodes.

[83] He's sitting on it like a close.

[84] Lozor, like a comedian.

[85] With the Monica Lewinsky card?

[86] Apparently, they're telling him not to do it.

[87] Apparently, they're trying to talk to him to say, do not bring up the Monica Lewinsky stuff.

[88] Because he, in the post -press conference thing, he was saying how, you know, I'm very proud of myself that I didn't bring up Bill Clinton and his dalliances.

[89] I don't even think he has to mention Bill Clinton.

[90] I don't even know if he had even said those exact words.

[91] Like, I think he's just like, let's just say there's a lot of things that I'm not talking about that I could be bringing up, I could bring up that wouldn't be good for her.

[92] I don't need to say what they are.

[93] You know what they are.

[94] I have winning temperament.

[95] It's one thing about me. I have a winning temperament.

[96] Everyone knows this.

[97] These debates are hilarious.

[98] What's really funny is they both suck so hard that all this dirt that comes out about them, it's like no big deal.

[99] Can we do a fight companion for the next thing?

[100] Yes.

[101] We're talking about doing that.

[102] We were talking about doing that.

[103] If I'm in town, if I'm not working during the next one, we're going to hook something out.

[104] There's two more.

[105] Two more.

[106] Okay.

[107] We're going to need to bring someone legitimate in, too.

[108] Like Andy Stump wants to come in.

[109] My friend, former Navy SEAL, Andy Stump, he'll probably come into.

[110] And maybe we bring in someone else that, like, knows politics.

[111] I'll drop some hot puns on that one.

[112] Yes, you're good for that.

[113] Who knows politics, like, really well?

[114] Like Fitzsimmons does.

[115] He'd probably be good at that, right?

[116] Yeah.

[117] Oh, yeah.

[118] Did you see some of the There was a conspiracy talk that was like This was going on during the debate First was like she was she had an earpiece Yeah I saw that stuff When I saw last night was that She got caught scratching her face like this six times And there were signals to Lester Holt To like hit me hit it with the Zinger now Like she was saying something And she go oh And then next would be like something For like a pre -disposed talking point for her To get out and Well Trump was saying that the the Lester Holt guy, the narrator, what was he, the announcer?

[119] Which was a moderator?

[120] That the moderator was against him.

[121] He was like, it was a bad deal.

[122] It was a bad deal.

[123] It was a rigged deal.

[124] He said, Mike was fucked up.

[125] That's ridiculous.

[126] I heard him loud and clear at home.

[127] But he caught him on some real shit, like the fact that Trump supported the Iraq War.

[128] And even if he only said it on Howard Stern, which is apparently where he said it.

[129] He only said, you know.

[130] I heard him break that down.

[131] I guess what he said it in passing the kind of statement like uh yeah sure right sort of like what i was heard someone said i didn't hear myself yeah you gotta be careful about things like that because if you do one day plan on run for a president you can't just say yeah sure i support the air back war and then say i never supported that war it's an it's an interesting thing where it almost seems it's everything backwards helps him every time he messes up it sort of helps him i don't think this time it did he looked bad I thought he actually, and I'm not picking sides here.

[132] I'm just totally judging the debate.

[133] I think that the fact that people are even wondering who won or who did good means that's a huge victory for Trump.

[134] I don't think people are wondering.

[135] I think the polls were pretty overwhelmingly on her side.

[136] I think it was like 70 % of the people poll or 68 % of people poll.

[137] I thought she won.

[138] I thought she won.

[139] But in his defense, I didn't see the beginning.

[140] apparently he did really well in the beginning and she did really well at the end you know one of the things that she said that i thought was really crazy like she was going on about this thing about him calling women pigs and all these different things and that he said uh something about women being pregnant and working i forget i forget what that quote was but one of the weird one was he said that women should only get paid as much as men if they earn it which yeah yeah that's what I said.

[141] I had that playing we were getting ready to do Kiltoni in the belly room and Josh Martin had his phone plugged into the overall speakers in the room.

[142] So like the whole room it's empty, it's just me and Josh just setting up and stuff and we were playing it and I literally said out loud, you're damn right or whatever it was.

[143] I remember that part exactly.

[144] Well imagine he just said the opposite.

[145] Men should only get paid as much as women if they earn it and everybody would go, yeah, well that makes sense.

[146] But the idea that women should somehow know they get paid as much as men if they don't earn it?

[147] Maybe we should find the exact quote here.

[148] Let me find the exact quote.

[149] I think he gets taken out of context a lot.

[150] A lot.

[151] Of course.

[152] Not a good speaker, even though he speaks a lot in public.

[153] I just think he's not good at articulating the things he actually means or wants to say.

[154] And I think when the media does take him out of context and bends what he says a little bit, people notice that.

[155] And then when he does say some crazy stuff, I think that that only helps him when that happens because it's like oh here they go again bending Trump stuff he doesn't care I think he likes her right even know it's going to happen too because he's not complaining I'm telling you if he is down in the third debate you know he's giving it time now he's playing a strategy but if he loses the second debate and it gets down to that third debate he's going to drop that Bill Clinton blowjob shit out of him nobody cares anymore do they about that stuff you know what's interesting like immediately the first hit when it's what with Hillary and Trump on women, salon .com right away.

[156] Here's why it's wrong.

[157] Here's why it's terrible.

[158] I mean, if he just said, if Trump said the words in succession, like, the only reason you ever became Secretary of State was because your husband got a blow job in office.

[159] You know what I mean?

[160] Like, if he went for it, I mean.

[161] Do you think you could ever do that, though?

[162] Can you really go for it like that?

[163] Can you say that?

[164] This election is different than everything that we've ever seen before.

[165] So I think the ground rules are just getting made.

[166] And I think he'll do anything to get the maximum amount of press out of this.

[167] Of course my computer was froze.

[168] That's what happens.

[169] You start talking shit about your computer and say you need a new one.

[170] The fucking thing just locked right up.

[171] Look at that.

[172] But that's what happens when you talk shit about Hillary.

[173] It's also what happens when you go to salon .com.

[174] All your emails are deleting themselves right now.

[175] talking about Hillary too much.

[176] Well, that was the other thing that's kind of crazy is, like, how many emails she's deleted?

[177] And she's like, why won't you release your tax returns?

[178] Like, excuse me?

[179] Yeah, exactly.

[180] Like, bitch, you deleted 33 ,000 fucking email.

[181] How about you release your goddamn email?

[182] Not only that.

[183] How about you release the transcripts of those conversations that you got paid $250 ,000 an hour to speak in front of those bankers?

[184] How about you do that?

[185] Yeah.

[186] Like, what are you talking about?

[187] Me?

[188] Me?

[189] Me release?

[190] It's very bizarre.

[191] It's very bizarre.

[192] That email thing's crazy.

[193] She has like a hotmail account or something.

[194] Yeah, it is very strange, man. All of it's very strange.

[195] You know what else is very strange?

[196] Well, there's a bunch of things that are very strange about it all.

[197] But the email stuff is like you didn't know that you were deleting all those emails or you just did it?

[198] Like, how does that?

[199] Like, you're not allowed to do that?

[200] Like that's illegal That's highly illegal Remember when we had Mike Baker The former CIA guy on the podcast He's like all I know is if I did that I would go to jail It's like I'd be in jail if I did that I don't remember who I were discussing this part of it But is there any way that With the email thing Like where she's in her 70s right Or close to it Yeah That she's just Not I guess confident might be the word She doesn't understand what's going on with email Like is there any way it was in confidence?

[201] No She gets it.

[202] No. She looks at it weird or like how people look at, like old people look at their phone.

[203] Like, I don't even know how this thing is.

[204] No, this is the kind of lady that's probably had three blackberries for the last 20 years.

[205] Yeah.

[206] I mean, there's no way she didn't know.

[207] But also, not only that, the guy who was in charge of her email server was on Reddit a couple of years ago.

[208] Oh, that's right.

[209] Asking about how to get rid of stuff for a VIP or early important.

[210] Exactly.

[211] He wanted to make everything disappear.

[212] I never was like, What?

[213] VIP, who, huh?

[214] Then I guess I could be adding that to what I was just asking.

[215] Is there a way she didn't even know it was going on?

[216] Or she had to, if there's no way she didn't know.

[217] Every way someone was doing it, thinking this is what would be a great move.

[218] I better just do this.

[219] Oh, I don't know.

[220] And it might give me a good raise or it might give me a good position later down, down the line.

[221] I found out like I took some initiative here.

[222] I just went ahead and deleted them all.

[223] And he becomes a new head of the NSA or some shit.

[224] Oh, man. I don't know.

[225] I'm just curious.

[226] I mean, maybe.

[227] I mean, when a guy thinks that she's going to win and become the president, he wants the gig.

[228] And, I mean, all those, that's part of what we're sitting here.

[229] It's like, all these people are all connected.

[230] And so it's sort of a weird, like, sneaky fucking way where they do a bunch of sneaky shit for each other without even saying anything about it.

[231] It's like, it's all, like, implied.

[232] And we all have seen House of Cards now, too.

[233] Like, after seeing that, we definitely are all like, oh, we think.

[234] think we get it because that seems so true I bet that's going on I feel like that.

[235] Yeah I mean that shit's crazy it's all real now.

[236] The House of Card stuff's coming alive.

[237] I know right?

[238] Because the storyline is crazier than anything.

[239] It's like it's like they realize that Veep and Veep was winning Emmys every year and House of Cards started changing the game of the Emmys because that was the first thing from Netflix to really start all of a sudden there was a new network at the Emmys, which was like, an old, I mean, that's them crashing an old party was just NBC and CBS and ABC and then.

[240] Do you remember at the end of Bush's presidency that there was TV shows made about how goofy he was as a president?

[241] Yeah, Comedy Central Head.

[242] What was that called?

[243] Like Will Ferrell made a whole, he was him for a thing.

[244] Like, if somebody was Obama talking about, like, how goofy Obama's presidency is now, would that work?

[245] Or like, no, it wouldn't worry.

[246] It wouldn't even be the first.

[247] think, but if a Trump presidency happened again, they could definitely make a whole new nightly.

[248] This is what Trump did today.

[249] Well, S &L, they just announced, they just signed Alec Baldwin to be Trump.

[250] To be Trump for the next year.

[251] Which is crazy.

[252] For the next year.

[253] They made it like a special deal that they don't normally do.

[254] They're paying him like a butt ton of money to do this Trump thing.

[255] It's all very, It's all very funny, man. It's all very funny.

[256] It just proves my point that I've been talking about for a while that nobody who's smart wants that job.

[257] I mean, Hillary wants that job because it's like sort of the cap of this long career and sort of, you know, it's a historic moment.

[258] If she wins, she becomes the first female president, but she's under two criminal investigations.

[259] And they're also saying that if she doesn't win, it's very possible that the FBI might entit her for a bunch of shit.

[260] There's a lot of shit.

[261] There's a lot of it.

[262] There's the Benghazi stuff.

[263] There's the email stuff.

[264] There's a lot going on here.

[265] It's just, it's so disturbing that this is the best we can do.

[266] Him or her, both of them.

[267] I think Trump is going to pull it out because I think people are going to want to shake this shit up.

[268] I think that people talk a lot of smack now and they want to seem like this and that.

[269] But I think once they're in the booth and it's just you and two boxes and one says Trump and the other says Clinton, And you think, you know what, let's make these next four years a little more interesting.

[270] Come on.

[271] I think people are going to check it.

[272] That's what they did with that Brexit thing.

[273] No. I think Brexit's a totally different situation because Brexit, I have a friend, my friend Steve Hilton, remember Steve from the podcast?

[274] Steve Hilton is a very smart guy and used to be David Cameron's right -hand man. He's pro -Brexit.

[275] He's like, it's much more complicated than people think.

[276] He's like, this idea that anyone from any part of Europe can immigrate to the UK is disastrous.

[277] He goes, it's not racist.

[278] It's like the UK has a lot to offer.

[279] And if it does, in his mind, is, I'm paraphrasing him, but I believe what he's saying is that if the UK does let everybody come in from all over Europe and emigrate to the UK, that what's going to happen is there's other parts of Europe that aren't doing so well.

[280] Those people are going to go to the place that's doing great and it's going to fucking balance everything out eventually.

[281] But Europe is going to, or the UK rather, is going to suffer.

[282] while all this is happening I don't know nearly enough to comment on it but that's a complicated issue but it's also one of those issues where like super lefties really progressive liberal people immediately want to say racist you don't want people to immigrate to this country racist you know you don't want but that's what we're saying here you can't just immigrate here from Canada man if you want to just move from Canada to the United States and start working I've had a bunch of friends come over here from Canada it's a long process man it's easy and that's like pretty white people from Canada that look just like you.

[283] You know, we're not talking about Mexicans who look different.

[284] We're talking about people who look like white European people have an incredibly hard time getting a green card.

[285] A lot of them marry.

[286] My friend married some guy.

[287] She married some guy just to become a citizen.

[288] Yeah, she was Canadian.

[289] Wow.

[290] Yeah.

[291] I know another dude.

[292] Well, she was Russian.

[293] He was fucking her.

[294] But he married her just so she could become a citizen.

[295] it's super common that you have to like go through all these meetings have to make sure that you really are husband and wife well let me see your finger kiss her let me see you show me you meet it do you think if Trump won he'd actually build a wall I think if Trump won he would hire a bunch of people to do the job and he would start a new reality TV show like him on his underwear his underwear on a yacht Sunday fireside chats live from the White House probably something like that and be a host you know you make the what Donald Trump channel I don't know.

[296] He'd figure out a way to make it a law.

[297] Oh, yeah.

[298] Here's what's stunning to me is the illusion that he's some good speaker.

[299] His economy of words is terrible.

[300] He makes a point, and he repeats that point, and then he repeats that point again.

[301] Yes, I said that.

[302] Yes, I did.

[303] Yes, I did.

[304] Like the Mexican wall thing?

[305] Like when he said that, I told him, the wall just got 10 foot higher.

[306] Now, if he was a real master speaker, he would go from that right into something else.

[307] yes I did that's what I said like he he rambles on too much he's got too much unprepared like speeches yeah like and that's what we saw in the debate like it's in contrast to her like she was very well prepared like she she nailed a lot of like very important points she set him up pretty good one strategy that I noticed that she applied which I think was really smart was she kept her answers extremely short extremely to the point.

[308] She did not ramble at all.

[309] Yeah.

[310] Because she knew that he was going to do that and she knew that he could get him to make himself look like a fool if she just plays it.

[311] Absolutely cool.

[312] Zero extra words because he does, he overuses everything.

[313] He repeats everything.

[314] I said it once.

[315] I'll say it again.

[316] We're going to build a wall.

[317] It's going to be great.

[318] It's going to be a great wall.

[319] It's going to be a great big wall.

[320] People love it.

[321] I love it.

[322] You're going to love it.

[323] America's going to love it.

[324] It's going to be right, we're going to make America Great again.

[325] One thing about me, I have a winning temperament.

[326] I have a winning temperament.

[327] Like, that was so embarrassing.

[328] It really was.

[329] There's certain points where he throws a punch that misses so hard that, you know, it's like, oh, that's a huge dent.

[330] He did it to himself.

[331] What was that one moment where he said a bunch of stupid shit and then they went to her and she went, well.

[332] And she, like, laughed and smiled.

[333] Like, she handled that so smooth.

[334] Yeah.

[335] It's just so embarrassing that, first of all, why doesn't Al Gore run?

[336] I don't understand that.

[337] He almost became president.

[338] Like, why wouldn't he run again?

[339] Like, if he ran, he would get the nomination.

[340] Like, for example, everybody fucking loves him just trying to save the world, right?

[341] Yeah.

[342] He wanted to be the president at one point in time.

[343] Maybe it's just, like, too hard on you.

[344] Maybe it's just too exhausting.

[345] Maybe he just doesn't want it.

[346] Maybe he knows how bad the whole thing is.

[347] Maybe he knows something we don't know.

[348] He probably does.

[349] Also, he has made a fuck ton of money since he's been in the White House.

[350] Someone said that he is going to be the first, what would they call it?

[351] I forget what they call it green billionaire.

[352] They were talking climate change billionaire.

[353] He's going to be the first climate change advocate slash billionaire.

[354] Apparently, he's just made a ton of money on speaking fees and all kinds of other shit.

[355] He's just doing really well, telling everybody the sky's falling.

[356] he's come a long way since man bear pig what's man bear pig in south park they had a couple seasons where he was chasing a man bear pig because it was like their analogy to a global warming 2013 it says his net worth has grossed more than 200 million dollars since he lost the presidential bid in 2000 so in like 10 years or so he gained 200 million dollars for not being a president there's so much money and being a politician What's that thing with the whole story line of the producers?

[357] Like there's so much money in making a failing product thing?

[358] They tried to make a shitty play.

[359] What if Donald saw that?

[360] He's like, I'll just do it out of Gordon.

[361] Did he get so close to winning and not win?

[362] I don't think.

[363] People have been saying that like he doesn't want to win.

[364] I think that people believe that.

[365] I think they might be right.

[366] I just don't think he expected to do this well.

[367] I think he expected to get to a certain point, get knocked down, just talk shit about everybody who wins.

[368] You know, talk shit about Marco Rubio or Ted Cruz.

[369] By the way, I prefer Donald Trump to Ted Cruz.

[370] Yeah.

[371] Like, that's what's really crazy.

[372] Like, Donald Trump is preferable.

[373] Ted Cruz is fucking crazy.

[374] And creepy.

[375] Oh, he's a weird, religious, fucking fanatic, man. He's a nutty guy.

[376] He's got all sorts of problems with gay people.

[377] And, ooh, he's like, he, to me appeals to, like, the dumbest of, like, religious ideologues, like the dumbest of really fucking fanatical religious people.

[378] You know what I'm okay, Jamie?

[379] And the way he like Did you see when he kissed his daughter that one time?

[380] The video was so gross Where they show the outtakes And the one where he punched and elbowed his wife On stage right after he lost Clipped her right in the face Back to just being a congressman right now Is that way he was?

[381] Senator, right?

[382] Senator.

[383] Senator?

[384] Yeah, yeah.

[385] Is that what he's back to doing now?

[386] He just just crept back into the life he had before not everybody knows all this weird shit about him how does that work?

[387] I mean it has happened I guess Oh it doesn't happen.

[388] Well what's weird is that you could run for president and keep that job if that's the case like how the fuck you don't have the time to do your job right?

[389] How can you just run for president and also hold a job in public office?

[390] I remember like they were saying Bernie was going back he was he was taking hits on the campaign show because he was going back for all the things he had to do in Washington like he would fly back every other day or weekly if he had to go for a vote or something instead of campaigning where Hillary would be out campaigning because she didn't have to be in those votes and it's like why isn't she doing her job as Secretary of State?

[391] We're so lucky Bernie that if Bernie got through all the hippies would be fucking they'd be going through the streets screaming and cheering Well I think it would be more one -sided than it is even though Hillary supposedly beat Bernie I think Bernie as weird as it is maybe I'm wrong, but it seems like in the Battle of Styles, I think Bernie would be housing Trump right now.

[392] Oh, he would do I think it'd be clearly like 80, 20, 90, 10, more in there than even this you know, whatever it seems to be.

[393] That was one of the most disturbing things about all this stuff is the Democratic National, the DNC leaks that showed that they were conspiring against Bernie Sanders.

[394] Like, that is really bad.

[395] Because you're literally rigging democracy.

[396] Like, your party is supposed to be the Democratic Party.

[397] Right?

[398] I mean, you're supposed to, like, try to find, let's find the best representative.

[399] What do the people want?

[400] Like, you guys were rigging it.

[401] Right.

[402] At the root.

[403] At the root of your existence.

[404] I don't want to defend what they did, but I think one might say that what they did, I think, this is just a thought.

[405] They were trying to stop someone who wasn't a Democrat from just coming in and taking over their party because he's not a Democrat as far as I of her he's just an independent right which is why he's can't take over now if she would have got sick so like they're preventing some wild card like donald trump i guess some guy just became super famous and just being like i'm gonna fucking ruin everything you guys been playing on for the last 10 years how does that work he's not an is he does he couldn't he just go back and forth from being a democrat to an independent see i thought he was a democrat and he was super Bert Shoyle.

[406] It's people that actually know about politics right now.

[407] You fucking moron.

[408] You don't know anything.

[409] I think Bernie had a lot of positive qualities.

[410] First of all, when he was in that debate with Hillary and he was talking about, you know, why won't you release the transcripts from those speeches?

[411] And he goes, you can read my transcripts because they don't exist so that I would not accept money from banks.

[412] It was interesting.

[413] He's just, I think he's, What he's done is let people know that there's a market for that.

[414] There's a market for the outsider that, you know, lives a frugal life and doesn't really make a ton of money.

[415] But if anybody has ever been running for president and represents the average person and a really ethical average person, it's Bernie.

[416] But a lot of people's on the other side, a lot of people think that this whole Democratic Socialist, It sort of supports people who don't have a good work ethic.

[417] It supports people who are lazy.

[418] It supports people who want government handouts and what he's trying to do with, you know, jacking up taxes and some of the crazy shit that he said is just like take from the rich and give to the poor.

[419] And a big part of his platform was wealth inequality, which is a big issue with a lot of people.

[420] It's understandable.

[421] It makes sense.

[422] But I don't think anybody has solved the riddle of how to overcome wealth inequality.

[423] Sweden seems to have a real knack for it.

[424] Free hospitals, free college.

[425] When we were there, the streets were beautiful.

[426] Everything's clean.

[427] Free public transportation.

[428] Free hospitals, free college was the other thing.

[429] Something else.

[430] Well, those things are all right.

[431] Pretty much everything's free and they pay, what was it, I think, 30 or 40 % tax.

[432] I don't know the exact at all numbers, but they pay a very high sales tax on everything.

[433] You pay it on everything.

[434] New pair of shoes.

[435] Fuck you pay me. New t -shirt, fuck you pay me. How many people are in Sweden?

[436] It's beautiful.

[437] 2015, 10, not a world superpower with an army that can take police at any time.

[438] That's a good point.

[439] The number of people is a good point too.

[440] When you get to like 300 million people and you start talking about like universal basic income, you know, which is an interesting conversation that keeps getting brought up.

[441] You know, that was what Eddie Wong brought up on the podcast, we started talking about it.

[442] And I thought it was crazy initially, but then I've read some of the things that some economists have said.

[443] Some people believe that if you just gave people a certain amount of money, whether it's $12 ,000 a year, more, or whatever it is, that it would alleviate the stress of paying bills, people would have a certain amount of income, and it would be far less crime, and then the government would need to spend far less money, because it'd be far less issues, which I think is fascinating.

[444] I don't know if it's true.

[445] I don't know if it's right, but I like, yeah, it's very out of the box.

[446] And when a country's as fucked up as we are, where you have these ghettos, like what Michael Wood was talking about, Baltimore, where they're just systemic racism, systemic ghettos where they've, like, made it so, like, black people cannot buy houses any place other than these areas.

[447] And that these areas outside of that are only for white people.

[448] Like, when you have, like, something like that existed until, like, I think you said the 1960s is when those laws were still in effect, Right?

[449] I think, I don't know, at least that, I would say.

[450] At least that.

[451] So that's my lifetime.

[452] You know, I was born in 67.

[453] So during my lifetime, these laws were being enforced, which is just fucking crazy.

[454] Like, when you have a system that's that nuts, like, you got to, you got to have a radical plan to fix it.

[455] So there was a neighborhood outside of Baltimore that was only white people?

[456] You could not buy a house there if you're black.

[457] We would not sell.

[458] Do you have the address to this place?

[459] How dare you I thought you were into fucking black girls Man isn't that your new thing?

[460] Just kidding guys, just kidding Isn't that your new thing?

[461] I think black girls do have a warmer vagina than white girls How much warmer?

[462] I think just a few degrees warmer Like if you took a white vagina And put it in the microwave for like five seconds And how many black girls have you had sex with You didn't notice?

[463] There was only two It was one summer about three years ago But I noticed it with both of them And it wasn't even at the same time It was just the same summer.

[464] I was not sitting for my friend in the Hollywood Hills.

[465] Maybe it just felt warmer because you were so excited to be banging a black chick that your dick was going, woo -hoo!

[466] It pretty much was.

[467] Either that or they had fevers, and they just told me about it.

[468] You're banging these girls with malaria.

[469] Were they coughing a lot?

[470] No. They were when mine.

[471] All right.

[472] It was silly.

[473] Have you ever been, have you, do you ever hook up with a black woman?

[474] Oh, yeah.

[475] Did you ever notice anything different?

[476] They're darker than me. I noticed that.

[477] One time, uh, when I lived in Boston, you know, it was like the winter.

[478] I was really, you know, pale.

[479] It was like this, like cloudy.

[480] And I was pale.

[481] You know, I didn't have, uh, very much time to go out in the sun.

[482] And, uh, I hooked up with this black girl.

[483] I met in Pittsfield, Massachusetts.

[484] Wow.

[485] Which is way out in the middle of nowhere.

[486] And she wasn't black like Beyonce black.

[487] She was black, like Czech Congo black.

[488] She was dark.

[489] Whoa.

[490] And we had sex in my hotel room by the light of the television, right?

[491] So the TV's on, and I'm having sex with her, and she's dark like coal, and I'm white like paper.

[492] And we're going at it.

[493] And I remember thinking about it because we were doing a doggy style.

[494] I remember looked down, and she had an incredible body.

[495] Oh, my God.

[496] This girl, to this day, is like, one of the best bodies I've ever seen in my life.

[497] It was, like, cartoonish.

[498] Her body was incredible.

[499] But I remember to this day thinking, like, wow, this is so crazy that, like, she's so much darker than me. I'm so white.

[500] And I'm not even that white.

[501] I'm Italian, you know, mostly.

[502] But, I mean, just the contrast was so interesting.

[503] But the girls that I have had sex with, just maybe it's a coincidence.

[504] Maybe it's not.

[505] But all the black chicks that I had sex with were fucking freaks.

[506] Like, they were so much more enthusiastic.

[507] Yeah.

[508] So much more vocal, so much more aggressive.

[509] Yeah.

[510] You know, like, give me that dick.

[511] Come on, go.

[512] Whoa.

[513] Oh, give me that good dick.

[514] Like, whoa.

[515] Jesus.

[516] Plus, while it's happened, you know, as a comic, all stuff like that's happening, you're like, oh, my God, I remember this.

[517] I wonder if it's a bit in here.

[518] Yeah.

[519] Just take a note.

[520] I can never make a bit out of it, though, because it seems so racist.

[521] Just to even say how dark she was and how white I was, I was like, how do I say this without, sounding I mean it's just it's such a racially charged thing yeah like even if you're if it's not the joke's not racist or the discussion of the subject is not racist it's so racially charged you're better off just leaving it alone plus one of the things I've noticed um I had a conversation with this girl that I was dating at the time um and uh she did like you know was one of those you ever have sex with a black guy yeah yeah maybe if you ever had sex with a black girl yeah a couple you know those kind of conversations but I was telling her how dark this girl was like she was getting upset I was like she was dark but I mean it's like if I asked her you know like how black was this guy you know like how black like how black?

[522] Like how black?

[523] You know like Congo black like dropped out of the jungle black like what are we talking here?

[524] He had the skin of a good year tire drummed playing for whatever she got upset that I had fuck this black girl in the past It was the shade that offended her the most though Ah, she was racist She was from Staten Island Oh, that'll do it Italian girl from Staten Island Yeah racist Do you want to know I fucked a black girl Offensive to them Offensive That's one day But here's the thing Here's what's fucked someone said to me once one day everyone's going to be like a mix because like right now the only reason why race existed in such specific like distinctive ways like Chinese people African people like really distinctive differences is because those people very rarely met each other but now everybody goes everywhere and a place like the United States which is essentially just a melting pot of immigrants this only the only people that were here originally were the indigenous people but even the indigenous people came over from Asia they all came on the Bering Strait I mean all the people that live here that we think of as Native Americans they've done like these DNA tests on them but they come from fucking Siberia you know it's really funny you know who did the DNA test to find that out some really rich dude who was a Mormon who wanted to prove one of Joseph Smith's statements was that the American Indians were in fact the lost tribe of Israel and he thought that he could prove that and prove that the Mormon doctrine that the Book of Mormon was correct and so he spent all this money to get the DNA test done turned out there from fucking Siberia Did he?

[525] Did he?

[526] I don't think you would think you would try to.

[527] Well, I don't think you can.

[528] I don't think scientists let you hide data.

[529] You have enough money to get it done and have maybe some extra money to get it out.

[530] That's fucked up.

[531] A real lab that's doing those kind of DNA tests, I would imagine that would be like an important finding and they would want to release it.

[532] I would guess.

[533] Yeah, if scientists could cover up data, then we wouldn't know that mushrooms can cure chronic depression from the studies at, was it Carnegie?

[534] Hopkins.

[535] Yeah.

[536] John Hopkins University.

[537] There's been a few studies now that are showing that.

[538] Yeah.

[539] Oh, no, man. it's um it's everybody has come what i was going to say is everybody has come to the united states from somewhere else right and then one day conceivably that people keep fucking that we're all going to be like one kind of thing one shade we'll all be like this sort of tan thing but the problem with that is it's kind of cool you know when you walk out of the street and you see this dude who's black like cold he's got a little chinese girlfriend you're like oh boy I want to watch those two do it It's kind of exciting I mean it's kind of fun that people are different But we can't handle that fun Some people can't handle it Without being racist And not only that Because of racists We can't make racial jokes Like you can't even talk about Pretty obvious differences in the races Without being labeled a racist Like things that are just so obvious Unless you're making fun of white people you can make fun of white people to the cows come home nobody gives us shit because white people are the majority white people are thought of as the oppressors white people own slaves etc etc so you can shit on white people all day long nobody ever gives you a hard time for shitting on white people yeah right yeah they're they're the it's and it's no fun to make fun of white people either that's you know it's just sort of like you know it's always no fun to make fun of someone who well when someone is in charge or someone has the power those are the people you're supposed to fuck with because you're supposed to punch up right you should always punch up in comedy Tony you should always punch up which is not necessarily true because sometimes the people like my classic example of why punching up isn't always funny is the Sam Kinson's bit about starving people in Africa one of the greatest bits of all time and it's literally talking about starving children it's fucking hilarious But, you know, I think that, like, when someone is in a position of power, though, it's open season on them, as opposed to someone who comes from a marginalized group.

[540] Like, even if it's something funny or if something from a marginalized group and it's a really funny thing, if you talk about it, you can get in trouble.

[541] Yeah.

[542] Do you, have you ever gotten in trouble for anything racial?

[543] Like, I mean, doing stand -up?

[544] Like, did you ever cross the line or crowdwork -wise or anything?

[545] No. No, I never got in trouble.

[546] But I've never, I've never been like a racial comic.

[547] Right.

[548] It's not really my, you know, like Russell.

[549] Like we were talking about the other day, like Russell Peters.

[550] Russell's half his act is about race.

[551] But he can get away with it because he's Indian because he's brown because he's Indian.

[552] He's the chosen one.

[553] He's a brown guy from Canada that lives in America.

[554] like he's got it all yeah he can make fun of everything and be like yeah what do you want i'm brown brown from asia he's got the whole thing wrapped up yeah he's got this thing on lock yeah i mean right india's asia right yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean right india's i had to ask i was sure what i said it and after i said it was like yeah right yeah right yeah right yeah right okay but so's russia right that's what's weird russia yeah yeah wow russia yeah russia yeah wow russian it's part of Asia.

[555] Wow.

[556] It's just the most people that live in Russia and don't live in the Asian part.

[557] Yeah.

[558] I live in the European part.

[559] It's like Egypt.

[560] Egypt's Africa.

[561] Everybody thinks Egypt is the Middle East.

[562] Well, it kind of is, but it's also Africa.

[563] Yeah, my mind's blown right now.

[564] Yeah.

[565] Egypt is a part of Africa.

[566] You know what's fucked up?

[567] When I went to Italy?

[568] Egypt's like right there.

[569] You can fucking swim to it.

[570] Not really, but I mean, the distance between Egypt and Italy It's like it's fucking hop -skipping a jump That's how the Moors invaded Sicily They were right there They got a raft They went over in a raft It just raped everybody It's real close And that's how people Started getting browner Italians If every race Aren't the differences in race In some situations Based off of geography Sure Yeah So that's what I was just kind of think I was thinking That thought through that everyone will end up looking the same color, but that's if everyone lived in the same place, right?

[571] Sort of.

[572] People live near the equator that end up being dark, if you will live further away from it.

[573] That's a good point, but how come everybody in Arizona is so fucking white and everything?

[574] And they stay inside away from the sun.

[575] People in Chicago are dark.

[576] See what I'm saying?

[577] Snow reflection.

[578] Go to the south side of Chicago and then go to Scottsdale.

[579] And you go like, what the fuck is going on here?

[580] Yeah.

[581] I mean, the origins of those people, for sure.

[582] If you lived in a continent like Africa, The sun's beating down on you all the time.

[583] You need more melanin to protect you from the sun.

[584] If you lived in a place that's always like, you know, Norway or something like that, where it's a very little sun.

[585] Norway has very little sun?

[586] I would imagine, right?

[587] Iceland.

[588] All fucking white people.

[589] We were talking, I forget, someone was on the podcast this week, and the Tower of Babel came up.

[590] Yeah.

[591] Yeah.

[592] Yeah, it was.

[593] I wrote something down when I came up because I had a thought that, and I'm not sure I could have looked it up, I guess.

[594] that I wrote down like internet English could be that was my phone could be that that tabble single language and I guess what I mean internet English is that like aren't most websites coded in English because if the internet started in like over here the west where people all speak English so you mean like HTML yeah like wouldn't a Chinese website have to be coded in HTML and they could have some program that's translating their stuff so that's easier for them to do it.

[595] I just was getting into my head, like, that's almost in some way in, like, 15 to 30 years that most of the Internet, which is worldwide, will all be communicating with a similar language.

[596] I said that to my friend, that's how I brought it up, and he asked if I ever heard of Esparanto.

[597] You ever heard of this language called Esperanto?

[598] Yeah, I have, but I don't remember.

[599] It's developed in 1887 by some guy that was literally trying to create one language, and it's if you look it up now you can find out that it's not dead and there's it's one of the fastest growing languages apparently for people learning to speak something different yeah never fucking heard of it though before this week how i mean it's one of the fastest growing languages it's like what else is out there like no there's nothing really growing it's like english spanish chinese or Sephardic or weird language I just learned how to speak Times New Roman Anyway Silence You know what I've been into lately Is Did you watch Narcos?

[600] Yes Well I love it I started doing more research after that Because I was like Jonesing for more narcos And they're done for now No season two Did you go through season two really?

[601] I just watched all the season two.

[602] Oh, I'm only four episodes, yeah.

[603] God, is it good?

[604] And it leaves you just wanting so much more in the end.

[605] And it's great, it's great.

[606] In a good way, it leaves you wanting more.

[607] And so I started watching more and more documentaries.

[608] And holy shit, what goes on down there?

[609] Might be one of the most amazing things in all of the world.

[610] Which ones you watch?

[611] Something Tempere, Demos, like it's got a Spanish, title and it's in Spanish with English subtitles and it's got all the videos and all the pictures of Pablo Escobar all of it like all of it videos of him getting dragged off the roof dead when he's young when he's spoiler alert a lot of people don't know he's dead Tony really too yet no I'm just kidding everybody that's like Hitler spoiler alert Hitler's dead well it's funny you mention that because I started a documentary yesterday about how on Netflix about how Hitler might still be alive and living in the Andes and it was the dumbest documentary.

[612] I so badly wanted it to get my attention at all and it was just, it had nothing.

[613] Half an hour in, I had to shut it off.

[614] Wasn't there a history channel show called Finding Hitler where they would go searching for Hitler because I thought that maybe Hitler escaped to South America?

[615] Wouldn't that be great?

[616] That isn't unfamiliar?

[617] Like he's in Argentina or something?

[618] Well, you know, that was where a lot of Nazis went.

[619] A lot of Nazis.

[620] A lot of Nazis escaped Germany and went to South America.

[621] Wouldn't it be great if a people that went out looking for Hitler ended up finding Bigfoot and the people and the people that went out looking for Bigfoot like in a forest and just Hitler walks by and they're like, go about your business, sir.

[622] They found the bones with a little mustache on it.

[623] My friend Adam Green Tree, who was on the other day, was telling me about Aborigines.

[624] He came over my house last night.

[625] We had dinner and some stuff that I really wish he brought up on the podcast because it's fucking crazy.

[626] The Aborigines, in Australia, not only do they not have, like, most of them don't have a written language, but they could live, someone could live here, and then you could live 10 miles away, and they'd be a totally different language.

[627] And they call their tribes mobs.

[628] They call them a mob.

[629] That's like, so you have one mob, and then you have another mob, that's like 15, 20 kilometers away with a totally different language.

[630] And I go, well, how many of them are there?

[631] Like, how many different languages?

[632] He's like, oh, fuck, thousands.

[633] I was like, thousands.

[634] And he was like, not only that, when they die, like nobody knows their language, nobody knows their history, it's all gone.

[635] And there was this one cave, like literally a fucking cave where these people were living in.

[636] And they were apparently when, you know, they settled this area, like the Aborigines obviously were there first, and then when the white people, people came and settled when they were raising cattle, the Aborigines were stealing the cattle.

[637] To them, they didn't think of it stealing.

[638] They thought it was, oh, hey, you have some food, I'm going to eat it.

[639] And so they ate the cows, and the ranchers got pissed.

[640] So they brought them food and poisoned them.

[641] And there's this cave that he found that he took all these photographs.

[642] Adam did off his site.

[643] You could probably find it on Adam Green Tree's photography page.

[644] Yeah, first man image, something like that.

[645] Yeah, and it is filled with bones.

[646] The bones of these 30 people that live, that were part of this mob, because they live in these really small tribes, and they poisoned them.

[647] So they brought them food, and they pointed.

[648] He said, we found, like, babies, little tiny ribs, like a little three -inch -long ribs from a baby that got poisoned.

[649] And he's like, the entire tribe is just dead, and their bones are just there, just laying inside this cave.

[650] And he's got photographs with this cave.

[651] It's really crazy.

[652] Like he'd go inside the caves, all this weird artwork of all these weird animals, including some animals that, like, don't even exist anymore.

[653] Like, they had like a brontosaurus who was depicted on the wall, like with the long neck or Placiosaurus or something like that.

[654] But the idea that these people lived there for so long and had all these different dialects, and like someone 20 miles away would speak way different than people here.

[655] And none of it was written down.

[656] Another history was written down.

[657] All of it was just, like, stories that they told over the campfire or whatever.

[658] I thought you were going to go into a Bigfoot in Australia thing.

[659] Do they have it?

[660] Do they talk about it there?

[661] If you watch Finding Bigfoot, they say they have one.

[662] Okay.

[663] What did he do?

[664] Get on a ship?

[665] I grew up there.

[666] He grew up in Australia.

[667] They have their own?

[668] They have their own.

[669] They have their portals or something.

[670] Well, there's an animal in, I think it's Vietnam.

[671] They call the orang Pendek.

[672] I think that's from Vietnam.

[673] Somewhere around, maybe somewhere else.

[674] Indonesia.

[675] Maybe it's Indonesia.

[676] But the Aurang Pendeck was like a small, hairy monkey man. It's like, but I think it's little.

[677] I think it's only like four feet tall or something like that.

[678] And they think that that thing, at least the legend of that thing, is probably similar to that Hobbit Man, Homo Florianz, Florianisis.

[679] I think that's what you say.

[680] I think that's it's from the island of Flores.

[681] They found these.

[682] Hobbit people that legitimately were a different species of human, like this really weird -looking three -foot -tall little Hobbit person.

[683] Creepy.

[684] Oh, yeah.

[685] And they existed fairly recently.

[686] Like, I think they found bones that were as recent as 14 ,000 years ago.

[687] Jeez.

[688] Yeah.

[689] So 14 ,000 years ago, these little hobbit people were running around.

[690] Not only that, they think that they had, like, real problems with people.

[691] They interact with each other.

[692] They fought with each other, maybe preyed on each other.

[693] Didn't people not like hobbits?

[694] Or they like the hobbits?

[695] How did they treat hobbits in Lord of the Rings?

[696] They were like magical people or something, kind of?

[697] Or no?

[698] No. I don't think they...

[699] But they were respected, right?

[700] Yeah, they had some street cred.

[701] Yeah, I mean, they were cool.

[702] Yeah.

[703] Maybe they got fucked with because they were little, right?

[704] I was just trying to remember, because I feel...

[705] They didn't wear shoes, did that?

[706] They were like...

[707] No, they're hairy feet, remember?

[708] Big hairy feet.

[709] That's a little creepy.

[710] Yeah.

[711] You know, when Dominic Monaghan was on the podcast, I literally almost forgot that he was a Hobbit.

[712] You know, because I thought of him as the guy from Lost.

[713] He's Charlie.

[714] Charlie from Lost.

[715] He drowned.

[716] Like, oh, I'm sad.

[717] Yeah.

[718] Sad.

[719] Yeah.

[720] He's sad, Charlie.

[721] He's back.

[722] He was alive.

[723] We were around him.

[724] Yeah.

[725] He's great.

[726] So, yeah.

[727] So I've been getting.

[728] more into these Pablo Escobar documentaries.

[729] Just living that kind of lifestyle, you know what I mean?

[730] Just living that life from smoking joints, watching Pablo Escobar smoking joints, yeah.

[731] I like what he wore.

[732] He wore, like, grandpa sweaters and shit.

[733] Yeah.

[734] He worked at worst clothes.

[735] Yeah.

[736] He had, like, bad running shoes.

[737] I'm pretty sure the cardigan I wore in my special he's worked at some point.

[738] Yeah.

[739] I was just hearing that some people think that El Chapo might have more money and more reach than Escobar did but not more power or at least not more power within the country he's in right well definitely not now yeah it's definitely a different time period too but he's fucked now didn't he broke his leg trying to get away jumped yeah I think the reason I got brought up was because this lawyer is currently complaining that he's being tortured in prison and how's he being tortured he was in prison for a long time before though right he was in prison for a long time then he escaped and then they got him again.

[740] They escaped again.

[741] He skipped four times, I think.

[742] Yeah, he's a freak.

[743] He's a big time freak.

[744] How crazy did his Sean Penn went to meet him?

[745] Went to meet him and did an article for Rolling Stone, shaking his hand.

[746] I mean, it's unbelievable.

[747] What was he thinking?

[748] You're a movie star, dude.

[749] Why do you want to go meet Pablo?

[750] Or not Pablo Escobar, but El Chapo.

[751] Didn't he give, and did he end up giving him Or, like, did he have to tell someone where he met him?

[752] Um, I don't know what he had to have.

[753] Or did he have some sort of journalistic, uh, you know.

[754] I don't remember, but I do remember that there was a girl that he knew that was an actress that hooked it all up.

[755] Yeah.

[756] Was she banging them?

[757] Probably.

[758] Like, uh.

[759] I hope so.

[760] Mm -hmm.

[761] That's the one I like about narcos.

[762] That reporter chick that he bangs every now and then.

[763] Ooh.

[764] Yeah.

[765] It's breaking news.

[766] but that life's crazy to think about that and to look at how they ran that and just scaring people and to be able to fight your own government and lock yourself in and escape and have the people for you but with you and it's scary but let's look at it this way is it scary than the people that sell oxycontin that kill thousands of people every year and nobody does a thing about it they do it completely legally and everybody's paid off that might be scarier because yeah they don't have to use violence and shoot people in the street and threaten people and scare people and people don't live under this blanket of fear that they lived under during the Pablo Escobar days but just as many people are dying and just as much money is being made maybe more people are dying you are right and I mean about the fear thing like granted it's tough to compare the two but if you compare all the people that have been afraid of getting caught with marijuana over the past decades because that I feel like has mostly been brought on or at least kept in place by big medicine then and all of that stuff that stemmed from marijuana and like selling marijuana and having a gun for marijuana and this and that and all that stuff then and you put all that together it's a much bigger imprint than it seems you know it's a big imprint but here's the weirdest one now in 2016 for the first time more people are using pain pills than tobacco in the United States, including cigars, chew, cigarettes, the whole thing, everything.

[767] More people using fucking prescription pain pills than using tobacco, which is nuts, because you can go down in any street and see people smoking cigarettes everywhere you go.

[768] Oh, yeah, not too long.

[769] I think you tried to have me to look up how many prescriptions with, like, are out for Adderall in the U .S. And as I was trying to look it up, I don't think that that's, like, public info.

[770] Like, they wouldn't want that out there, would they?

[771] Well, sometimes that stuff gets out in some sort of a way, you know?

[772] Because I was, I had a hard time finding it.

[773] I just had, like, rough guesstimations and different things they thought was happening based off of whatever.

[774] But, you know, some people were, like, if it was in Florida, you could go get 10 OxyCon things like this, and you just go open down the things.

[775] So, like, those aren't being tracked necessarily, you know?

[776] Well, that's not the same anymore that used to be like.

[777] that but it's way different now back then when they were doing that the oxycontin express days there was more people that were getting oxycontin prescriptions in Florida than the rest of the country combined damn Florida Florida is so crazy it's just the strongest pain killer that just makes you basically heroin it's not even the strongest pain killer the strongest pain killer is that's tough how do you say it phenylato fentany flannel And fentanyl is spending a shitload of money to try to keep marijuana illegal in Arizona.

[778] They spent $500 ,000 to try to stop the legalization of recreational marijuana in Arizona.

[779] They're just gangsters.

[780] Is that not a red flag thing?

[781] How can they do that?

[782] Isn't that recreational thing on the ballot for California?

[783] Yes.

[784] I don't really have been discussed very much.

[785] I feel like it should be talked about a lot.

[786] It should be talked about a lot.

[787] It's pretty much established, in most people's eyes.

[788] It's just going to pass.

[789] Yeah.

[790] I mean, once they see how much money Colorado's raking in.

[791] And plus, Jerry Brown's our governor.

[792] That guy's a fucking hippie and a half.

[793] Washington's brought in a shill of the money, too.

[794] I saw an article I was going to ring up recently on a podcast, but forget how much they, it's as much as Colorado, if not more.

[795] And then it just saw something recently.

[796] Colorado's got, like, $66 million.

[797] They're going to.

[798] with bully advocacy or something like that they have that much of a surplus how do you stop bullying with money what do you do programs and stuff I think I don't know that they will work I'll tell you what you do you give the bullies the money that's how you do it you give the bullies the money all of a sudden guess who's lunch money they're not taken your dweeby little sons how about that let's solve the epidemic right where it starts the real way to solve of it would be to teach them how to fight, teach them martial arts.

[799] Yeah.

[800] They wouldn't be beating each other up.

[801] They'd be competing, you know, or they'd look like pussies.

[802] When I was in, like, middle school, they tried this thing with my grade school because we were known as, like, the ghetto school of the, like, six or seven little Catholic schools in our area because we had black kids at our school.

[803] That's why you were known as a ghetto school?

[804] I think so.

[805] I mean, we weren't in the ghetto or anything like that, and it was a private Catholic school.

[806] It's not, like, and it's not, it wasn't a free public school.

[807] What was ghetto about it?

[808] We had black kids at it.

[809] Did you ever bang any black girls?

[810] Not, middle school, no. But not anyway, no. Anyway, so at the dances, we were like, this is 19, in the mid -90s, like, 96, where the rap music was still, like, gangster rap was getting big, so some of all black kids liked it.

[811] When they put it on it at a dance, they'd start, like, we'd jump around, and everyone would get, we're at a little kids at a party, we were 13.

[812] Either way, all the parents or the kids at those schools didn't like it, so we got complained to or against, and for the next two years we had what they called conflict resolution as an actual class instead of like art for some for like a year where we had to like do workshops and worksheets about how to be acting with other kids and situations like it was no one took it seriously at all but like they told us that's what it was for is because we weren't acting like we got banned from the dances at those schools that we couldn't go there we had to have our own did you feel like a rebel no it was it was dumb We didn't understand why it was done.

[813] Why did it happen?

[814] We were being picked on.

[815] Would you guys see?

[816] Literally it came from, I remember an incident where there was like a song came on and a bunch of kids from my school specifically got in a circle and we're like jumping around, like with their hands up.

[817] Like I don't remember the song, I might have been slammed by Onyx.

[818] And I was like, slam.

[819] Du -da -da -da -da.

[820] It's so like all the white guys would, this is what I think happened.

[821] I'm pretty sure it did.

[822] Like all the white kids were like freaking out.

[823] Like what the fuck's going on?

[824] It might have been the teachers that were watching over.

[825] well like what are all these kids doing from that school like ghetto school over there on the east side we can't be having that with all our kids fuck that and they think they complained so they segregated like two years later once all those troubled kids were up in high school there's some new kids in that aren't acting up we'll try out of dance and see how it goes and then it finally went away hey I got a dumb question that earpiece that you're wearing has a microphone on it that microphone's not picking up right I'm just in that ear thing okay man so they segregated the dances Who wants to go to the all -white people dance, you know what I mean?

[826] White people don't want to be around black people?

[827] Well, I mean, black people have the best dances.

[828] I'll tell you that right now.

[829] What if you're into line dancing, though?

[830] What if you're, like, super into, like...

[831] White dance...

[832] I'd squall don't think anyone's line dancing and at least sat around here.

[833] I was in a country restaurant bar once, and they all started line dancing to some fucking song.

[834] They knew the song, and they all started doing this, like, dance thing together.

[835] and we were looking at each other like what in the fuck is going on like they all knew the song and they were all dancing together they like knew the dance like the electric slide but not the electric slide but like a like a fucking country dance yeah it's like wow you ever seen a big group of black people do like one of those dance flash mob things yes and it was awesome wasn't it it's better I saw it once three or four summers ago in San Diego.

[836] I remember it's when Kanye and Jay -Z got together and they made an album and they made a song called N -Words in Paris and it stole the summer.

[837] And it was just one of those songs where you were hearing it all summer and it had a big beat and everything.

[838] We were in an outdoor bar in San Diego and all of a sudden it came on and it was like a hot Saturday night middle of the summer and all of a sudden they came around the corner like doing like it was almost like you were in the music video thriller and and I'm looking at them and then I take a moment because I'm sort of like creepily aware you know what I mean to look around and see what the white people are doing at this like outdoor bar and everybody was just mesmerized it was like I don't know like Cirque disillay except it was just a bunch of cool black people dancing walking down the street at the same time in synchronization was each other yeah somebody videotaped some flash mob in the middle of New York City the other day like yeah they had some thing where everybody agreed to meet at a certain place at a certain time.

[839] Then when the clock strikes midnight, everybody just fucking jumps in and gets crazy and dances around.

[840] I love shit like that.

[841] Yeah.

[842] Because that's not organized by a company.

[843] That's not like some marketing campaign from some cell phone provider.

[844] That's an organic thing that people just decided to get crazy.

[845] Yeah, when the intentions are just to be silly.

[846] Yeah, just have fun.

[847] That's what makes it worth it.

[848] Yeah.

[849] That kind of happened when we were in San Francisco.

[850] here.

[851] I walked to the top of Fremont Street, that's with the winding one, and the meeting of the naked bike ride was up there, and it was just got, it was all guys.

[852] Lombard Street.

[853] It was a lot of street.

[854] All right street, not free much, yeah, Lombard there.

[855] The naked bike riders met up.

[856] It was all guys, all over 40, none of like, all out of shape, but they were all butt naked.

[857] Oh, on a bike?

[858] In the middle of, like, nil, puffy on their huffy.

[859] It was not the right flash mob to be walking into.

[860] worst flash mob ever a bunch of naked dudes on bicycles flashing flashmops you're not interesting man that clothes are mandatory if you take your clothes off they'll throw you in fucking jail there was I think cops there that weren't they're doing anything well in San Francisco I was thinking about that the other day because I was driving back from Sacramento middle of the day on Sunday and I literally I went through the drive -thru they gave me a burger I didn't They didn't put napkins in the bag, and I'm like, I'm eating on the road.

[861] I want to make it back to L .A. Blah, blah, blah.

[862] An hour later, I'm finishing my coffee, just ate that burger.

[863] No napkins in the car.

[864] Finished my, or no, I didn't.

[865] Anyway, and I start to have to shit.

[866] And I mean, like, badly.

[867] And I mean, like, it's an immediate emergency.

[868] And I'm looking, and it's one of those stretches in Northern California, where it's like, next rest area, 43 miles.

[869] And I'm looking, as I'm driving down the freeway, looking to see like what kind of bushes there are and stuff and there's like nothing and I mean nothing it's just fucking cow pastures forever and I'm like can't shit behind that can't shit behind that you know you're just driving down looking they're squeezing and I'm squeezing so hard that for the first time in my life I was like standing up while driving like I was up I was I was up on my left foot because it felt like my butt cheeks could get tighter if I like was in a standing position rather than sitting.

[870] And, I mean, I'm doing everything.

[871] I'm literally praying to God for the first time in, like, five or six years.

[872] I mean, like, I'm literally like, whatever, if anything is controlling any of the universe, I need you right now.

[873] I can't shit my pants.

[874] Because, by the way, they were also, I was wearing these, like, gray shorts that I have.

[875] They're, like, cloth shorts.

[876] I mean, it would have been so terrible, so terrible.

[877] and what the fuck were we just talking about?

[878] No shirt.

[879] Oh, about not having clothes on.

[880] I realized right then, like, I'm like, I'm going to have to pull over on the side of the street, and without a bush, I'm going to have to shit.

[881] Boop's going to come out of my butt, no matter what happens.

[882] And people are going to drive by, and I'm thinking of myself how illegal that is, because I think, like, you can't even pull your pants down and get away with it.

[883] What happens?

[884] And I'm thinking, that's crazy.

[885] being naked's crazy but we all poop and pee all of us 100 % of all people But you have to find a public bathroom You can't just knock on someone's door It's the middle of the freeway public It is I'm caught Yes it is but like Yeah but you're not allowed to shit outside Like if you pee outside Here's what kids's really interesting If you pee outside and you get caught You can be arrested as a sex offender It's happened to people before Especially if you were in view of a school?

[886] You could go from a brown alert to an amber alert real quick.

[887] Okay, dokey.

[888] So how did you resolve it?

[889] Well, what ended up happening was my prayers to the universe ended up working because like you know how every once in a while I mean, I don't know how close you've been to shitting your pants lately, but like it bubbles up and you're like, fuck, blah, fuck, fuck, you know what I mean?

[890] And then sometimes it'll just be like, all right, let them, you know, let him go for a little bit.

[891] bit and it'll just be everything will be okay for like two minutes you're like oh my god did it pass it's like a hurricane it's like what you hear people describing hurricanes you're like I thought the eye the storm already passed and then two minutes later it's and uh I ended up making it and what's crazy that I do remember about this I made it to the first gas station that was 41 miles I mean I was just sweating dude I don't know how to describe I'm like 40 miles by quenching emergency shit You're lifting your butt off the chair the whole time?

[892] My left leg was sore.

[893] My whole alignment was off.

[894] I mean...

[895] My alignment was off.

[896] I get a adjustment.

[897] I had to go to a Riki master.

[898] And what's crazy is that, because like, there's actually another piece to this amazing puzzle, is that after you've been holding it for 41 miles or whatever, and, you know, you've been do all this shit.

[899] And once you make it to the closest restroom, that first gas station off that first exit, and you go to the men's room and you're in there's only one stall there that is the stall of demolition my friend i mean once i was in it i was i mean you just noticed there's just graffiti everywhere there's toilet paper every everything you've ever seen is everywhere because that is the stall of anybody who's almost shit their pain every man coming southbound from northern california that had to shit in this 40 mile span blast through that door and then blast through that stall door and just brrr I mean it is the stall so that's what's crazy is that like yeah there was a few other gas stations on that exit but I'm like I remember literally being like in that final red light because once you see it's a weird thing your body does too right is once you see the gas station you see the restroom that's when it's like you know it's like really like you should have a picture that face you just It's when your butt just, like, can't take it anymore.

[900] It's like, there it is.

[901] It is really fucking bizarre that you're not allowed to be naked.

[902] Yeah.

[903] Like, your body comes, like, out of the box with no clothes.

[904] We require you to purchase clothes or make them.

[905] I mean, if you, I guess you could have a bunch of leaves glued together.

[906] No one can stop you.

[907] As long as no one can see your genitals.

[908] And then, even then, we have, like, rules for that.

[909] Like, a girl can, wear a thong.

[910] So literally she can have a string that goes over her asshole and then just a little Dorito that covers her clit.

[911] And we're like, we're good.

[912] We're good.

[913] Oh, do you have some band -aids for your nipples?

[914] Because I don't want to see your dirty, fucking stinky brown skin.

[915] Right.

[916] That brown nipple skin, you dirty bitch.

[917] They can see all the voluptuousness of the outside.

[918] It's very weird.

[919] We're real weird with clothes.

[920] It is.

[921] Like, you could have like beaches where people get nude, but you have to have an agreement.

[922] Like, this is the this is the beach where everybody's allowed to not wear clothes.

[923] But for the most part, you have to wear clothes.

[924] That's interesting.

[925] I was arrested here for we were mooning a camera, taking a picture, like eight guys were moving a camera.

[926] We were canoeing down the thing, like stopped.

[927] And everyone was like drinking a beer and everything.

[928] Like, everyone took a picture.

[929] I was like, let's get the fuck out of here.

[930] You're like, no, let's take a picture.

[931] And I was like, all right, I'll take a fucking picture.

[932] So everyone's, oh, I'm moving the camera.

[933] So we did and literally like two minutes later out of the woods in the middle of nowhere a sheriff comes walking down like hey guys hey we're all like what what what what's going on he's like hey why don't you come over here and we're all like oh fuck what we do and also half of us are underage like 20 21 21 21 22 like two underage people I think and you're not supposed to be drinking while you're canoeing to so we knew we were kind of fucked but he makes us all walk over to him and he's like hey just so you guys know what you just did is absolutely illegal and we're thinking about he's like we he's like we're thinking about taking you all in right now for indecent exposure and we're all immediately like what the fuck are you talking about he's like who's we first place like we've been up there watching you there's about five of us go up inoculars we've been here watched the last 25 minutes he's like guys we should have definitely left we should have so left and he like pulls the two underage people up next to him my girlfriend at the time and this other kid he makes us dump out all of our liquor like one girl let kept like hit a bottle of jackdano's and then he final was like all right you know what we're gonna let you guys go but get the fuck like get the fuck out of here and we nothing ended up happening but the thing he also meant he said there like it's okay for all you girls to take pictures with your tops off but no asses that's illegal we're all like huh and like I guess from then I've always like thought or that's I think when I learned that like girls are allowed to walk around with their tops off in some states Yeah, I think in some states They're in Ohio now Yeah, and New York You can do it Right?

[934] That was like a thing That they fought for Because men can walk around With no shirts on In New York But you know, up until like the beginning To the turn of the 20th century It was illegal For men to walk around Bear shirt And it was like a big Yeah, it was like a big movement Where I think I want to say like the early 1900s Like the teens They duked it out Like they You know They fought to have decency thing too well i mean men fought to to have the right to walk around shirtless because it's fucking hot out sometimes but women couldn't for like a long time i want to say until fairly recently and obviously like look i understand that a woman's breast is more titillating no pun intended but you you can't say like men can walk around with their dicks hanging out but women can't show their vaginas that's just crazy It is bizarre that Their nipples have to be covered And our nipples are just like Who gives the fuck?

[935] Mine are useless Slam my nipple in a fucking bank fault I wouldn't feel it They're numb They literally don't feel like anything They don't do anything I had a girl suck on them once I was like you could just stop Why don't you just suck on my elbow It's the same thing It is so funny My elbow might be more sensitive Yeah It's so true It's weird because women's nipples get erect, they get excited.

[936] Yeah.

[937] They perk up.

[938] Milk shoots out sometimes.

[939] Bo!

[940] You get all excited?

[941] Bo!

[942] Yeah, they really like it.

[943] I think that for a long time, I always thought that boobs for girls were the same, like, for guys, and it was, like, not that much feeling, so I sort of, like, always ignored them quite a bit.

[944] I'm like, this vagina thing is the most important.

[945] And then I learned a little bit later on that, like, girls like that.

[946] Boots are different than our boobs I went out like last week A couple weeks ago Yeah it's interesting It's interesting The difference is what we're allowed to get away with What we're not allowed to get away with You know Like imagine if men wore skirts to meetings If men can have like little skirts A skirts A kilt Yeah Kind of do But that's like That's a dress I think goes down to your knees Yeah and it's got like a big belt buckle and stuff to make it cool.

[947] I think you're thinking of Pilgrims.

[948] Sometimes they have that a little satchel thing.

[949] It looks like a fanny pack.

[950] I mean like, I'm sorry, but had I pooped off that side of that road and just been like poop coming out of my butt and like a police officer comes and arrests me for that, I would make, no pun intended, but I would make a really big stink about that because, I mean, it's like, don't, don't.

[951] You're supposed to shit your pants in your car and just deal with it.

[952] That's the question.

[953] right?

[954] What do you do?

[955] And by the way, it was a rental car.

[956] I knew there was one more thing I was forgetting.

[957] A rental car with a gray interior, gray cloth interior.

[958] You don't like that.

[959] You pay for the insurance, or how's that work?

[960] Well, you should take that cup from the coffee and just shit right in that coffee.

[961] The thing was, is that it was a venty, and it was tall, and, like, I'm already You shit in it, and then you squeeze shut, and you toss it out the window, you put it right back in there.

[962] They keep filling it up.

[963] have you ever taken a shit where it comes out like a volcano above the water and you're like oh my god this is an above ground shit like it literally there's so much shit that it's rising above the water the toilet my toilet is a little too small for me oh you're shitting a lot you're not a lot of water in there you'd eat a lot of meat does it does it ever climb all the way up to it just got that extra smell you're like yeah what's shit in the room like what When the smell becomes 3D It's like It's literally going above the water And it's out in the air It's free It must have been right though It's not strange Well not I mean not entirely But obviously you're walking a bathroom out to so much shit There's gas It's still gas But I mean it's like that traps a lot in there Yeah what's what the matches Is that like burning the gas in there Is that what that's supposed to be all about?

[964] I would just said it out a lot.

[965] I think it, uh, the fire sucks oxygen, so must have to be sucking some other gas and fucking with it.

[966] But that's, I think it's just the, the sulfur of the thing, sort of.

[967] But then you just know that someone's shit in there.

[968] It's still better than smelling shit.

[969] I guess.

[970] You know it's getting on your tongue.

[971] The nose, it's, you know, you're tasting it.

[972] Right.

[973] It's just smelling.

[974] It's shit molecules.

[975] Yeah, if you could smell it in the air, it's everywhere.

[976] Mm -hmm.

[977] The gas molecules.

[978] what a weird design that every animal has you eat things and your body's like we'll take all this useful stuff we've got a lot of garbage let's just get rid of that stuff it comes out like there's no way you do there's no way you can eat just the right amount of food where you don't ever shit or you don't ever piss it just goes to your system I've been here I've heard a recent story again and I don't remember why I just came up by like rechal rectal implant what's that called?

[979] Fecal implant.

[980] Fecal implant.

[981] Right.

[982] Some guy was sick, and he had to have his friend's shit put in him or something like that, and it made him better.

[983] That's disgusting and really weird how that works.

[984] It does work.

[985] Somebody else's shit put into his butt.

[986] There's something wrong in the stomach.

[987] And so he got somebody else's shit put in him and it fixes his stomach somehow.

[988] Yeah, well, gut flora is one of the most important aspects of health that is only really being understood over the last few decades.

[989] People really didn't know that the bacteria inside your gut has, not the, Not only does it just affect your stomach, but it affects your personality.

[990] It affects your mood.

[991] Well, not that.

[992] It's just there's some sort of a symbiotic relationship that we have with our gut flora.

[993] And when your flora is bad, it has all sorts of negative consequences on your immune system.

[994] I'm big in probiotics over the last few years.

[995] I've been eating a lot of kimchi.

[996] I drink, what is that stuff called?

[997] Kiefer.

[998] Is it kefir or kefir?

[999] I think a kefir, but I don't know.

[1000] I never really say it and read it.

[1001] Combocha, a lot of different probiotics.

[1002] I take those on it, total gut health packets.

[1003] I got to stack with me. I travel on the road with it.

[1004] I don't go on it anywhere without it.

[1005] But acedophilus, like all that kind of stuff.

[1006] Like having healthy gut flora, man, makes a giant difference on whether you get sick, how long your sickness lasts.

[1007] You can't, is there, can you take too much of that where your body just get rid of it if it doesn't want it?

[1008] It's a good question.

[1009] I would imagine, well, it's healthy.

[1010] I don't know if it's, I don't think it's like certain vitamins are fat soluble.

[1011] And if you take too many of them, it can fuck with you.

[1012] You really want to make sure you get the right amount.

[1013] I don't think that's the same with healthy bacteria.

[1014] It's really, it's like almost like troops.

[1015] Like you're bringing in healthy troops to fight off bad bacteria.

[1016] Like for people who do jiu -jitsu, anybody who's listening to this that does jiu -jitsu, super important that you take probiotics it's very very important and never wash yourself with antibiotic soap ever because when you wash yourself with antibiotic soap you strip your body of all gut floor or of all skin flora of the good stuff too what you want to do is use something like defense soap that is healthy oils that only promotes healthy flora but it doesn't kill the the good stuff.

[1017] It promotes healthy flora and just protects you from the bad shit.

[1018] From getting like ringworm and stuff?

[1019] Yeah, but it's not an anti -bacteria soap.

[1020] Like anti -bacteria stuff, I had a friend of mine who was a jiu -jitsu guy who had a ringworm.

[1021] We started washing himself with anti -bacterial soap and he got fucking ringworm everywhere because his body couldn't fight it off.

[1022] It's like illegal now or something or it's...

[1023] Antibacterial soap?

[1024] Is there something or a certain kind?

[1025] There's a certain chemical in most of them.

[1026] When we don't have Jamie to check facts James starts throwing around all the fucking questions itself I started thinking about things I remember and I would have Googled it already If we were doing the regular podcast At the studio Jamie would have the answers up on the screen But now Jamie's like throwing the questions out Yeah FDA issues final rule Safety is and Effectiveness of antibacterial soaps Bands Trichlosen and 18 other chemicals from soaps So trichlacin is something that was found And lots of things like from toothpaste to the antibacterial So forth, I guess it's no, it's no guino What's the deal with fluoride?

[1027] Like, what's the real deal with fluoride?

[1028] Because fluoride's fucking poison But I've heard people say that fluoride is good For like, for healthy teeth and to prevent tooth decay.

[1029] Then I've heard that's total bullshit.

[1030] And the only thing that's helping your tooth decay is that you're not, you know, you're cleaning your teeth.

[1031] that's what's healthy It's not the fluoride And don't they put it in the water supply And people thought that that's poisoning people Yeah, that's what people think That it's like designed to make you stupid This is a shitty research To know about that Yeah, this is a terrible fucking research podcast This one If you're upset at this You should be, you've ever right These fucking guys All they have is questions No answers we're going to have a companion podcast to this where we actually check everything and we go over we were wrong about everything as usual it's kind of funny though that we do have this whole ecosystem thing going on in our body that it's not just your body you have to protect your body from invading bacteria no your body's filled with bacteria it's like the whole thing's bacteria right it's like you're like a little planet yeah it's weird I mean We were We were made from like Come being in like a hot vagina Even crazy than that We're made from stars exploding first You had to A star had explode In order to create the very building blocks for life What in the fuck?

[1032] I did mushrooms last week A lot of stars out there Joshua?

[1033] Yeah Yeah Really felt like nothing did you love it it's amazing yeah it's so great I need to get out to Joshua true it's so beautiful out there when does Ari do that shroom fest is July like it was September this year yeah it rotates it's either in July August or September it all depends on the super moon oh he only does it during the super moon yeah the weekend of the super moon or like the week of weekend so you could go outside yeah and yeah bright moon but it was interesting this one was a different one because this wasn't officially Shroomfest we just went because we all missed well I missed Shroom Fest which was a couple months ago or whatever but and this one didn't have the moon out right away so it was actually my first time in four or five years without the moon crazy as that is but it was there in a few hours but it wasn't there the first few hours and the stars out there I mean there's just no way to describe it.

[1034] They're just fucking everywhere.

[1035] You can't look at a specific place and not see a huge clump of them.

[1036] And you can't look at the sky for 30 seconds to two minutes in a row without seeing another shooting star.

[1037] It's impossible.

[1038] Wow.

[1039] If you're not seeing one, then you're looking down.

[1040] Isn't that crazy that those are rocks from space?

[1041] It probably came from millions of miles.

[1042] When I was out there, I was thinking about how that was the natural, how that had to be like the first form of entertainment like what else would you watch yeah there was no falling asleep to Netflix it was I sell the stars last night and that was it and you hear twig snap behind you that was entertaining mm -hmm when you're out there wandering around on mushrooms you worry about spiders or anything like that yeah I was afraid of a little we had a little a little mouse that kept running around our campsite that at one point I was like way too afraid of.

[1043] Was it a mouse or rat?

[1044] It was the tiniest little mouse, little cutie mouse.

[1045] It was freaking you out?

[1046] Yeah, it was freaking me out.

[1047] I was getting too close.

[1048] It seemed like it was on mushrooms with us and I'm like, get out of here, dude.

[1049] Maybe it knew you guys were vulnerable.

[1050] It felt like it did.

[1051] Pulls in on you.

[1052] Yeah.

[1053] Animals definitely know the difference between dark and day.

[1054] I think it really bold at night as opposed to during the day.

[1055] Like during the day They keep the fuck away from you But like deer at night They're not nearly as worried about people It's almost like they know Oh these fuckheads They can't see that good Like bears It's really disturbing Like bears at nighttime They're very Very like confident They're not nervous about people at all If you're ever around bears at night It starts getting dark They start closing in on you And looking at you differently Do bears have good nighttime visions?

[1056] Oh yeah A lot of them are very nocturnal All animals are.

[1057] You mean, almost all animals can see way better.

[1058] And we don't.

[1059] We have nothing.

[1060] We suck.

[1061] We have no evolution there.

[1062] But, we have night vision goggles and guns.

[1063] That's evolution.

[1064] And cars.

[1065] Yeah.

[1066] It's not like biological evolution, but we still got it.

[1067] It's better.

[1068] We still got there.

[1069] We can have a machine gun sitting at the sunroof.

[1070] We played Panama from Led Zeppelin, or from Van Halen, rather, as we've blown away.

[1071] Panama.

[1072] Gun them down.

[1073] Fuck your evolution.

[1074] how about that how about fuck you night vision we can see you bitch stop trying to eat me yeah bugs snakes all those things out and josh tree are fucking creepy coyotes I haven't seen any of those things we've heard coyotes out there and though that's creepy when that happens but you know they're like in the distance you just hear oh oh oh you know But it's cool, though, right?

[1075] Yeah, super cool.

[1076] Yeah.

[1077] It adds a real, like, you're almost like, was that a human being fucking with us?

[1078] Do you know, coy cats are wolves?

[1079] I don't know.

[1080] They're wolves.

[1081] They're a small wolf.

[1082] They're all in the same family.

[1083] Like, that's how they make those coy wolves.

[1084] They interbreed with each other back and forth.

[1085] They make viable offspring, too.

[1086] They don't make, like, like some animals make a hybrid, and the hybrid can't give birth or can't get pregnant or can't make another animal pregnant.

[1087] Not coyotes.

[1088] Coyotes can fuck dogs, too.

[1089] Wow.

[1090] So can wolf.

[1091] Wolf can fuck dogs.

[1092] It's really interesting.

[1093] But what a coyote is, when they first discovered coyotes when the settlers arrived, they called them prairie wolves.

[1094] That was the first name for them.

[1095] Before they called them coyotes.

[1096] Prairie wolves.

[1097] Yeah.

[1098] It's a lot cuter name than coyote.

[1099] It's a lot more adorable.

[1100] But then the Aztecs called them coyote and then the Spanish called them coyote and then that like there was a Spanish pronunciation the Aztec name for coyotes Prairie dog and gopher same thing?

[1101] No What's a prairie dog?

[1102] No a prairie dog is different than a gopher A gopher is different A prairie dog's a groundhog Yeah, yeah that's what's called I guess What's so stupid Gophers are small.

[1103] Again, but just questions.

[1104] Gophers are smaller, probably, right?

[1105] Like, they usually fuck up, like, gardens and...

[1106] We have gophers.

[1107] I have gophers near my house.

[1108] It's a little bit bigger.

[1109] I'll find out these little mounds of dirt with the little fuckers have poked out through my lawn.

[1110] It's, like, weird.

[1111] It's like somebody just left a pile of dirt, but it's really just a gopher, pop through them.

[1112] Those prairie dogs, though, man, they shoot the shit out of those things.

[1113] It's really kind of crazy because they're a real nuisance on cattle ranches because they dig these holes, and then cows.

[1114] step in it when they snap their legs and it becomes a real problem.

[1115] So they shoot them like crazy and so people will set up on these fields with these high powered rifles with scopes and just wait for these little fuckers to poke their head up and boom!

[1116] That sounds like fun.

[1117] There's a video of Brock Lesnar shooting a prairie dog with like some ungodly gun like a 50 caliber gun and they just explode.

[1118] See that's the kind of hunting I could get into.

[1119] I could go out and be like the prairie dog guy.

[1120] That's your new thing.

[1121] Yeah.

[1122] Prairie dog guy.

[1123] I'm the prairie dog.

[1124] Prairie dog the bounty hunter.

[1125] I could see you going on hunting with like a bandana on.

[1126] Like who's that guy?

[1127] The leeks hanger of poison.

[1128] Right.

[1129] Mike.

[1130] Yeah.

[1131] I can see you with like a prairie dog bandana.

[1132] With like fake hair.

[1133] You put on like a wig.

[1134] Fake longer hair.

[1135] Yeah.

[1136] Yeah.

[1137] You said a prairie dog out there that I smell.

[1138] And then just get it go out.

[1139] Yeah.

[1140] You're supposed to meet people out there, they get out there a little early, and you don't expect to me, you're out there fucking a dead prairie dog.

[1141] Hey, hey, hey.

[1142] Why don't you let me know you're there, man?

[1143] Every rose has a stone.

[1144] Every prairie dog.

[1145] Yeah, you can shoot nuisance animals.

[1146] Isn't that interesting?

[1147] Like, those prairie dogs.

[1148] You know what's interesting is I was in...

[1149] It's a prairie dog, and I was trying to figure out of work prairie dog and then you take somebody out and try to find somewhere from the shit out in public that'd be your show yeah prairie dog in it with tony that's what i call prairie dog in it there's a um there's an animal called the ground squirrel that's very different than a tree squirrel and ground squirrels you can't eat them tree squirrels apparently are very good they taste good i've actually eaten them i shouldn't say apparently i've actually eaten them they taste good it's a weird little animal but um ground squirrels are so common in some places.

[1150] Like, Tahone Ranch is 270 ,000 acres.

[1151] It's a huge ranch in California.

[1152] It has cows.

[1153] It has bears, mountain lion, deer, elk, turkey.

[1154] There is more biomass in prairie dogs than all those other animals.

[1155] There's so many, not prairie dogs, ground squirrels.

[1156] There's more, so many fucking ground squirrels.

[1157] So, like, when the guy was telling me that, I was like, what?

[1158] Seriously goes, if you weighed all of the ground squirrels on this property, it would weigh as much as everything else combined.

[1159] I'm like, how is that possible?

[1160] So then we're driving down the road.

[1161] He's like, just pay attention, watch them all.

[1162] And so as we're driving down the road, you see them.

[1163] Like, as they hear the car coming, they jump out of their holes and scatter and run to another hole, jump out of the hole and scatter.

[1164] And you're seeing them all over the place, like 20, 30, 40 in your immediate vision, just popping out of holes and running.

[1165] they just dig little holes in the ground dive into them creepy yeah so they go out there and try to kill them but you only see them for like a half a second like you barely can get a shot off a good day you kill like two or three of them but there's fucking thousands of them just running around digging little holes doing anything they're so hanging out underground well they spread diseases according to this guy like certain mites mights become a real issue apparently mites are real I found out about mites when I was in Nevada, they're telling me you can't handle a jack rabbit.

[1166] Like if you shoot a jack rabbit and handle it, and if you don't have gloves on, you can get these mites on you, and they can give you a serious bacterial infection that you've got to need antibiotics for.

[1167] It's like it's seriously dangerous.

[1168] And people have died from it.

[1169] People have gotten that bacterial infection, not got it treated, and fucking died from mites on a rabbit.

[1170] That's crazy.

[1171] Yeah.

[1172] More useless facts.

[1173] You know, I looked at that, no trick, and I was just in Australia.

[1174] That was crazy.

[1175] No diseases on any animals.

[1176] Yeah, isn't it nuts?

[1177] Yeah.

[1178] No salmonella?

[1179] That's why, what's his face?

[1180] Johnny Depp got in trouble bringing his dog over there.

[1181] Hey, fuck, kid.

[1182] Yeah, yeah.

[1183] Australia?

[1184] Oh, yeah.

[1185] Johnny Depp trying to ruin the party over there.

[1186] God damn piece of shit.

[1187] That's a funny show.

[1188] Did you watch that on Netflix at all?

[1189] Australian Border Security?

[1190] Yeah.

[1191] Great show.

[1192] So check this out.

[1193] our TSA is boring as fuck and we don't film stuff like for some reason our government doesn't care to make money like that you know what I mean like make a production out of it right but Australia is like fuck it and pretty much they just get all these people coming in from America China Canada your plane lands you're going through TSA they just start fucking like check out this guy right here he's acting a little suspicious right and then they come through and they're like why are you suspicious?

[1194] like nothing suspicious what's going on and like it's just like you know then they end up finding that you know they show you the suitcase x -ray and they're like this seems to be a little something here and then maybe you want to tell us what's in your suitcase is there anything else and they're always like no and then you know they find cocaine or something like that and it's like they're smuggling it in from wherever and they're just busted and they show you right at the end like he got sentenced to 20 years in Australian prison like he just landed it there and then it's boom goodbye hello welcome and goodbye done when you go to a place like that do you give up your rights to be filmed like how's that work or do they like to say listen I really don't think you're in their country it's not you're not American they have different roles I really don't think they give a fuck I think they wrote their rules around like hey if you don't want to get caught bringing drugs in then follow the rules well they're really rough on immigrants if you come there illegally you don't get a chance to, like, settle down and make your case.

[1195] They put you on a fucking boat and they send you to an island.

[1196] Remember Josh Zeps was talking about it?

[1197] He's like, it's really kind of fucked up, like, what they do.

[1198] But they have a very strict anti -immigration policy.

[1199] Like, illegal immigrants do not get treated with any respect.

[1200] Like, what Trump is talking about pales in comparison and what they do on a daily basis in Australia.

[1201] In Australia, which seems to be like a place that's really killing it right now and doing really good.

[1202] doing really well.

[1203] Their economy is super strong.

[1204] There's only 20 million of them in a country the size of the United States.

[1205] How many we have here?

[1206] We have 30 million in California.

[1207] Oh.

[1208] We have 330 million in the country.

[1209] So we have 310 million more people than they have in the same size country.

[1210] There's like half as many people.

[1211] I'll show you just in Ohio.

[1212] But then to put it in perspective.

[1213] I think we need to nuke ourselves.

[1214] That's my idea.

[1215] No, we put it in perspective, India.

[1216] I think India is a third of the size of the United States It's got like a billion people Whoa Yeah Is that how small it is?

[1217] It's hard to tell when you look at a map They make a lot of kids I just saw another thing on that too, sorry More goddamn questions for us The Brazil is Gaged wrong The size of Brazil is wrong on the map Oh yeah It's way bigger than perceived Like Africa Oh yeah Africa's way bigger than perceived Like Brazil itself is also way bigger than it looks like on a map How big is India in comparison?

[1218] What do you guess?

[1219] I'm guessing a third.

[1220] I'd say slight, no, bigger than, like, Texas plus a couple of surrounding states.

[1221] So, that's close to a third.

[1222] Really?

[1223] I think it's, like, half as big.

[1224] I don't think it is.

[1225] All right, let's say, how big is India in comparison?

[1226] Why don't you guys talk a lot?

[1227] You know, Indians have a lot of kids, but I never see Indian porn.

[1228] Oh, you've got to look for it I mean, I've seen it a couple times Indian porn stars Yeah, she's not Indian, Mia Kalifa Oh, I know Mia Kalifa She's like, she's an Arab, right?

[1229] She does like ISIS porn She puts on like the What do you say it?

[1230] Hajab Something like that And gets down Yeah, she does Slightly more than one -third of the U .S. Mm, yeah Nailed it How'd you find that so quick?

[1231] I don't know I just typed in India compared to the U .S. Oh, yeah.

[1232] Things come up right there.

[1233] Oh, I just got it.

[1234] Yeah.

[1235] That's pretty crazy.

[1236] Amazing.

[1237] And a billion people.

[1238] So, compared to Australia, you know?

[1239] I mean, think of that.

[1240] Australia is three times large than India.

[1241] And India has a fucking billion people in it.

[1242] Oh, those are, see, that's what's crazy.

[1243] Is in India, I'm pretty sure you can go anywhere and pull it out.

[1244] on your pants and take an emergency shit You can't.

[1245] People do it.

[1246] Yeah.

[1247] Well, Ari said he saw people do it in China.

[1248] Wow.

[1249] Saw people just pull over and start shitting.

[1250] I think that's the size of Brazil compared to the U .S. and it's almost the same size.

[1251] Wow.

[1252] Yeah, it's real close.

[1253] Whoa.

[1254] I think it's not saying that's just India on the top of I'm 30 sure with Brazil.

[1255] Wow, that's crazy.

[1256] Well, Africa's the nudiest one.

[1257] When you see Africa in comparison of the United States, you know, wow.

[1258] Like, you could fit everything in there.

[1259] You could fit America, You could fit China.

[1260] You'd fit Asia.

[1261] You could fit Europe.

[1262] Yeah.

[1263] I mean, Africa is fucking big, man. Whoa.

[1264] Exactly, right?

[1265] Wow.

[1266] It's bigger.

[1267] And blacker.

[1268] And everything started there.

[1269] That's what's bizarre.

[1270] It's all from there.

[1271] It's a Chris Rock special, right?

[1272] Bigger and blacker.

[1273] Wasn't his best word.

[1274] No, that was, no, I'm not thinking bigger and blacker.

[1275] I'm thinking the one he went to Africa.

[1276] It did stand up when he had.

[1277] That one is.

[1278] that one whacked me out He kept changing clothes Yeah Like I didn't understand why that was a good idea Like It was definitely cutting edge at the time But I don't know if it benefited I don't think it was I just think it was just A bunch of shows put together Just showing off that you're in a bunch of different places But it also It releases the veil It pulls aside the veil They're doing the same thing They're doing the same setup punch line Every night Like that's like the hidden Sort of subtext to it You're letting everyone know like this is like he does it the exact same way it sort of exposes a little bit of the magic of what he's doing you know great comic like chris rock is so smooth on stage you get caught up in this like you don't thinking that this is a well prepared well written well rehearsed bit you're just laughing at the idea but when you see him perform the setup in one place the punchline the other then you're forced to sort of internalize like oh he does this the exact same way everywhere he goes he said it 100 times for it's almost like seeing it twice in some sort of a way when you see someone is really funny and then you see them again do the same bit it's not as good even if you really love them it's a little less good you know and so he kind of had that in his special kind of built in still great you know but not in my mind not as good but that's one of those things where you just keep trying to do something weird you know yeah keep trying to mix it up like if you did your whole special like from the beginning to the end with one camera like you showed up and filmed the whole thing that's some genius idea one shot on Netflix Tony Hitchcliffe go see it now are you doing another one in October have you decided I'm not no I'm not going to when do you want to do your next one I don't know I'm gonna wait to see when somebody comes at me with an idea or something like that and I don't know we'll see it then again if nobody comes at me soon maybe i'll just make another one at some point well you made yours and then you sold it to netflix which is yeah i feel like with the what i did with the ice house i can pretty much pitch that to anybody and i think they'd be down you know it's a pretty cool deal so well it's also when you do it the way you did it it's like you really get the sense of the intimacy of a comedy club which i think still is the best venue for a special you know because you're like you know you know you know you're like you know You know, you're watching television at home.

[1279] You're in your living room.

[1280] You're sitting on a couch just like that, usually.

[1281] So, like, stand -up should be in a small room, you know?

[1282] Yeah.

[1283] A club.

[1284] It's so cool.

[1285] When I did the Ice House with you last week, Sean Sullivan, the GM there, came up to me, and we were talking a little bit about it.

[1286] And he goes, man, there's people that come to this spot right next to the parking spot here.

[1287] And they even, they check with the employees in us.

[1288] They go, isn't that the spot where Tony starts?

[1289] And then he goes in.

[1290] and then he comes back there.

[1291] Yeah.

[1292] So it's sort of like opened up their, you know, it's sort of like a cool spot.

[1293] Like I guess like when you see that bullet hole in the back of the belly room sign like Kinnison's thing.

[1294] You know, it's like there's like a little bit of a legacy.

[1295] I wish they never fix that sign.

[1296] They're trying to fix too many things.

[1297] They're trying to fix the patio floor now.

[1298] You see that debacle, but it's not shiny now.

[1299] It was shiny and it was cool.

[1300] I thought I was about to slip.

[1301] I was like, what the fuck?

[1302] And then they sanded it down.

[1303] It looks like, It's bad, man. Why would they fix the bullet hole that Sam Kinnison put in that sign?

[1304] That's like history.

[1305] Someone has to keep that sign.

[1306] It makes...

[1307] The other one?

[1308] The one that they fixed?

[1309] Someone has to have the hole, right?

[1310] I gotta hope so.

[1311] I hope they didn't throw it out.

[1312] It makes zero sense to fix that.

[1313] It still has the bullet hole in the back.

[1314] Oh.

[1315] Just doesn't have it through the glass.

[1316] The plastic part was lit up.

[1317] Oh, I didn't know that was a thing.

[1318] Yeah.

[1319] He shot right through the fucking thing.

[1320] Really?

[1321] What a crazy...

[1322] Cocaine sniff an asshole It's good question Back by the side Someone pointed out to their day I didn't know there was one here too Probably I mean if he shot a 38 At close range I believe that's what everybody said it was He would definitely go through that And into the wall By the way The photo for the cover One shot By Jamie Vernon Yo Jamie Jamie Exactly got cut out of the credits He was literally in there And then he literally wasn't It doesn't after that.

[1323] Who cut it out?

[1324] It's just a complete technical layer from the person who was...

[1325] It's not my first non -credit.

[1326] It won't be my life.

[1327] These motherfuckers and their non -credits.

[1328] God damn it.

[1329] I'm done talking.

[1330] I'm the king of the non -credit.

[1331] We can continue this tomorrow at the show where we can just, we can edit on this too.

[1332] We can, like, make a part two addendum, maybe.

[1333] Yeah, we could do something like that.

[1334] Just turn it on and see if there's anything fun.

[1335] We could do something like that.

[1336] Yeah, why not?

[1337] Fuck it.

[1338] Um, yeah, let's just put it on in the green room, talk some shit.

[1339] Yeah.

[1340] So, this podcast for now is over.

[1341] But, um, so we did a couple hours, right?

[1342] It's like an hour and a half, hour 40.

[1343] Good.

[1344] Plenty of time.

[1345] And so we're doing, uh, west side barbell tomorrow.

[1346] We're going to be meeting up with Louis Simmons, who's the famous, uh, power lifter and, uh, strength coach of west side barbell.

[1347] You want to go, Tony?

[1348] He'll give you some fucking pointers.

[1349] How to get jacked?

[1350] Powerlifting and me, we really, don't see eye to eye.

[1351] I'm getting bigger.

[1352] I'm trying to give him to lift with me at the gym.

[1353] I'm getting bigger, but...

[1354] I'm just sitting in the bag right now.

[1355] Whatever, dude.

[1356] I've been lifting.

[1357] I'm already...

[1358] I already look pretty much better than you.

[1359] It's been like three months.

[1360] I don't...

[1361] I think he's a little bigger than you.

[1362] All right.

[1363] Well, Jamie does deadlifts.

[1364] On tomorrow's podcast, we're going shirtless...

[1365] Jimmy gets jacked and gets down there.

[1366] Rur -r -r -r -r -we're going to let the audience decide tomorrow night, live from the Palis Theater.

[1367] Let's just go fucking pantsless.

[1368] Come on.

[1369] Let's just see who can hold our shit in the longest.

[1370] Let's have a contest.

[1371] All right, we're going to wrap this thing up.

[1372] So good night.

[1373] Fuck you.