Rebel Wilson

[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert.

[1] I'm Dax Randall Shepard.

[2] I'm joined by Monica Lily Padman.

[3] Hi there.

[4] Hello there.

[5] We have Rebel Wilson on today.

[6] Extremely funny lady.

[7] Incredibly talented lady.

[8] She is an actor, a comedian, and a producer.

[9] She just, you know...

[10] You know her.

[11] She stood out like a motherfucker and all the pitch perfects.

[12] I know.

[13] You know, I hadn't seen all those when they came out.

[14] I'm not a big glee or musical theater.

[15] person, but now that I have children who watch TV, I have seen all three of the...

[16] They're so good.

[17] They're outrageously good, and she's tremendous in them.

[18] She was also women bridesmaids, The Hustle, Senior Year, how to be single, and she has a memoir that is out tomorrow called Rebel Rising, where we learn her whole life story, and it is an intriguing one.

[19] It is.

[20] Lots of turns and twist.

[21] Yeah, and an incredible amount of honesty from Rebel.

[22] I loved getting to talk to her.

[23] Me too.

[24] Me too.

[25] Please enjoy Rebel Wilson.

[26] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to armchair expert early and ad free right now.

[27] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[28] Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[29] He's an armchair expert.

[30] He's an Australian cookies.

[31] Tim Tams.

[32] My favorite one.

[33] You know what's funny?

[34] So they're fresh from Australia.

[35] Fresh.

[36] Freshly baked.

[37] We do a show with a guy named David Ferrier.

[38] It's called Flightless Bird.

[39] He's a Kiwi.

[40] And similarly, every time he goes home and comes back, he brings Monica and I. Do you have to soundproof this building or no?

[41] It still works.

[42] Lots of noises.

[43] Yeah, so you don't care.

[44] We get a lot of complaints.

[45] You'll hear like, it'll happen during that.

[46] There's a guy on a box right out there.

[47] Yeah, hi, hi.

[48] He'll be there's Monica.

[49] Yeah, hi.

[50] Hi.

[51] So nice to meet you.

[52] Thanks for coming.

[53] Oh, my pleasure.

[54] We were in here one time and the fucking bulldozer bumped into the building and we were interviewing somebody.

[55] Whoa!

[56] Like it was going to come down.

[57] Because what are you doing?

[58] Exactly.

[59] Rubble, what are we doing?

[60] Because I'm very into renovation.

[61] You would be in heaven over here.

[62] Okay, you want the full lady?

[63] She just brought these from Australia.

[64] Fresh.

[65] This is very exciting.

[66] Do you want to have one?

[67] The Australian version, not like the shit version.

[68] you can get in Gelson's that it's like made in America.

[69] What do you think makes it different?

[70] Because we have different chocolate because of different milk.

[71] Different milk.

[72] Sheep's milk?

[73] So, yeah.

[74] I'm opening it.

[75] Kiwi sheep's milk?

[76] Really good.

[77] Wait, Dax, Kiwi's a different country.

[78] I know, I know, I know, I know.

[79] But David does always brag about the chocolate in New Zealand.

[80] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[81] But Australian chocolate is better.

[82] And I know how much you guys hate being confused, which is why I'm kind of doing it intentionally.

[83] Yeah, yeah, that's like a local.

[84] That's like Americans very.

[85] This is Canadians.

[86] Although, is it, though, because when we travel abroad, if someone says are you from Canada, we're pleasantly surprised and flattered, because that means we're kind of polite and kind.

[87] It's a compliment to be confused as Canadian.

[88] We call New Zealanders like sheep fuckers.

[89] Yes.

[90] But as a joke.

[91] Sure.

[92] We love New Zealand.

[93] We all love.

[94] It's impossible not to like.

[95] Russell Crow's New Zealander.

[96] We claim him as Australian.

[97] There's a few people like that.

[98] Did he come early enough that he could make that?

[99] Yeah, I think for his first, I believe he's in Rocky Horror Picture Show or something.

[100] Oh, okay.

[101] Yeah, as a young Russell Crowe in Australia, and so we claimed him.

[102] Sure, that's fair.

[103] And then he was in that outrageously good movie, not romper stopper, romper stopper?

[104] Yeah, yeah, that was good.

[105] Scary.

[106] Scary.

[107] Literally, my apartment was like one street over when I first moved here to America.

[108] So I don't know why I came to Los Phyllis.

[109] I just knew one Australian girl who had been in a TV show with, and she said I could sleep on her couch for like $100 bucks a week.

[110] You picked the right spot.

[111] You kind of got lucky.

[112] Yeah.

[113] It took me 10 years in L .A. to discover this area.

[114] Well, it turns out this was.

[115] like a cool comedy area.

[116] It is, isn't it?

[117] It over indexes.

[118] Yeah, I know.

[119] But you're up by the Hollywood sign.

[120] Yeah, now I'm in Hollywood Hills.

[121] And I have a beautiful view.

[122] I look over at the Hollywood sign and Universal Studios.

[123] So you can see the fireworks from the Harry Potter Castle.

[124] It's pretty sick.

[125] Kristen similarly had a house across the 101 in Studio City that looked over Universal.

[126] Same thing.

[127] Every night.

[128] You could watch the fireworks.

[129] It's awesome.

[130] Every night?

[131] Well, they have a show.

[132] Yeah, I think it's multiple times.

[133] It's at 9 p .m. It's like Disneyland.

[134] How exciting.

[135] They're biting Disney.

[136] I love fireworks.

[137] I love fireworks a bit too much.

[138] Like when I went to Florida and then I bought all these and took them on the private plane coming back, which I'm not sure whether you're allowed to do.

[139] Probably not.

[140] But we hid them in garbage bags.

[141] And then I set them off in West Hollywood and stuff.

[142] Sure.

[143] And then people call the cops because they thought they were gunshots.

[144] And there were these ones.

[145] You know the fireworks and then they have little parachute men come down?

[146] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[147] It's just so fun.

[148] So I just kept sitting up on.

[149] And people called the cops.

[150] And then I go, oh, it wasn't me. Couldn't it for me. I thought the neighbors were doing fireworks.

[151] I was just about to call.

[152] I'm glad you're here.

[153] Thank God.

[154] You just saved me a phone call.

[155] Well, I think the main concern here, by the way, I've done it.

[156] In fact, on my Instagram, we had a big firework debacle in the backyard on New Year's.

[157] The big concern, I think, is fire, especially where you live.

[158] Oh, yeah.

[159] I wouldn't do it in the Hollywood Hills.

[160] Okay.

[161] I'm only willing to destroy West Hollywood.

[162] Right, right.

[163] Okay.

[164] But do you get a lot of.

[165] A ton of Looky Lou tourists trying to find the sign.

[166] Are you plagued by that?

[167] No. I'm in a hidden little area.

[168] Tell us your address.

[169] My address.

[170] Well, my stalker knows.

[171] Oh, good, oh good.

[172] The address, if you're listening.

[173] Do you really love one?

[174] He lives in Long Beach.

[175] Yes, and I have a restraining order.

[176] What's the weirdest thing that this person has done?

[177] They think that I had a child with them 20 years ago.

[178] Okay.

[179] Wasn't even in America at that point.

[180] And it would have been a virgin birth.

[181] I've read your book.

[182] Yeah.

[183] Good point.

[184] You know, and I said to the police, I go, I would know if I was pregnant and it had his child.

[185] Sure.

[186] And he believes I had a child of his called David and that he was once my lift driver here in L .A. And that I confessed everything to him.

[187] Oh, boy.

[188] Completely believes that I have his son, who's now 20 years old and that I've been hiding the sun this whole time.

[189] So we'll drop off presents for the sun.

[190] So he's never seen the sun.

[191] He's just aware of the sun.

[192] He believes I hide the sun in my house.

[193] Well, anything to protect your child.

[194] Are you caught between abject fear and like mild compassion?

[195] Well, yeah, because the person must really believe it's true.

[196] Yeah.

[197] Because he would write like 20 -page handwritten letters explaining his love for his son and how he met me at some VIP after party.

[198] And I wasn't even famous then.

[199] The police say at least he doesn't have a violent history, which is apparently a good thing.

[200] Until you do.

[201] Yeah.

[202] I mean, sorry to say that.

[203] I just want you to stay careful.

[204] I will say that the legal system worked.

[205] and he hasn't been around since the restraining order, so that's good.

[206] Does he live with his parents?

[207] I don't know.

[208] You've never found him in your house with your underwear on or anything?

[209] No, he never went inside the house, just on the property.

[210] Ew.

[211] Yeah.

[212] I know.

[213] I know.

[214] It's creepy.

[215] I'm like caught between trying to make jokes about it and also very scared for you.

[216] Have you guys had stalkers?

[217] Kristen had a half one.

[218] You know, we've had some bizarre people from other countries.

[219] Did she have any, like, frozen fans?

[220] They're too tiny.

[221] Oh, yeah.

[222] Just pushed them out of the way.

[223] They're all four -year -old.

[224] And they are obsessed, but that's what they're supposed to be.

[225] And they think she's a princess.

[226] They're very delusional.

[227] Yeah.

[228] She kind of is, though.

[229] Yeah, that's true.

[230] But I did have a woman.

[231] I was right at the corner here of Western Hollywood, and there's a little plaza there with the Ralph's, and there's a very inexpensive, very high salt Chinese restaurant there.

[232] I was in there eating with three friends.

[233] A woman walked by a few times.

[234] She kept looking at me. I don't know what to chalk that up to, as you would know.

[235] You never know what's going on.

[236] Eventually, she stormed in the restaurant, and she said, It's so obvious he's yours He looks just like you Same thing She was convinced that I had had a child with her And then we come to find out She lived in the halfway house across the street She'd just gotten out of prison Classic Textbook Also more likely that you did impregnate her She was not unattractive That was another confusing heart Yeah because you have a stupid stereotype In your mind of a crazy woman Who thinks she's had kids with people And it's unflattering Don't rule anyone out That's right People can be crazy.

[237] Brad Pitt could be nuts.

[238] No, he's so nice.

[239] He's so nice.

[240] He's great.

[241] I like to ask this question of everyone who's written a book who comes because I do think, not to bore the audience who's already heard the spiel many times, but truthfully, I know personally writing something in my room is one experience.

[242] Having a journal is one experience.

[243] Even publishing it, there's control.

[244] But then something can get dicey about then talking about it.

[245] Does it feel that way?

[246] Yeah, I wonder whether you can sense my like embarrassment.

[247] Yeah.

[248] or nervousness about it because this was something that I just did by myself in various locations but I kind of have a bit of like a reading disorder so I have to write in quiet and so it's literally just this thing I did on and off for two years completely by myself and all my most personal, intimate things and then even just giving it to the editor for the first time was like oh geez like someone's going to read all this and they're going to think I'm mental and then now why I'm fearful because nobody has read it because it's been embargoed, apart from you guys got a sneak.

[249] I love it.

[250] It's such a shitty copy, too.

[251] It's like you turned in a term paper.

[252] It's a paper.

[253] No, but it looks limited edition.

[254] Yeah, and so my family doesn't know what's in it.

[255] And there's some things that I've not told anybody ever until the book comes out.

[256] I know mentally it's going to come out, but it is a bit nerve -wracking.

[257] But then also, when I got the opportunity to write it, I was like, well, I may as well I'll just go for it and say everything.

[258] If you're going to do it.

[259] I'm not going to do it half -heartedly.

[260] But I had a good friend, and she had written this really powerful piece.

[261] It was roughly around Me Too moment, and it was vaguely about her mother and how judgmental she had been of the mother, but then recognizing how much older the dad was, and that really the mom was a victim of this.

[262] And it was so beautifully written, and we're really best friends.

[263] And when we went to talk about it on here, I could sense, oh, she's happy to write it and to have total control of how it comes out in structure, but she doesn't want to talk about it here, which was fine.

[264] I totally respected that, but I think some of that anxiety can be simply that.

[265] Like, you can say it exactly how you'd like to say it in the book.

[266] And then weirdly coming and then talking about it verbally feels like it's dishonoring your story in some way or exploiting your story.

[267] Do any of those feelings?

[268] You guys are my very first interview.

[269] Oh, okay.

[270] We're going to set the tone.

[271] We'll see.

[272] We'll see.

[273] I feel like.

[274] I hope you don't.

[275] Yeah, I hope I don't.

[276] I'm just more worried.

[277] My mom, for example, hates, if I say anything bad ever about my childhood.

[278] Sure.

[279] I'll say like, well, we did have McDonald's three times a week.

[280] And she goes, no, don't say that.

[281] You went to Sizzler for all you could eat shrimp.

[282] I love that.

[283] But by the way, it's that mom, that's awesome.

[284] That makes me relate.

[285] Or people go from high school or whatever.

[286] I didn't remember it that way.

[287] Those kind of things.

[288] How much did you wrestle with that?

[289] Because I'm writing something right now, too.

[290] And I'm like, I can acknowledge this is my version.

[291] My brother has a completely different version.

[292] And his is legit too.

[293] I don't know what to say about that.

[294] Well, one thing with my sister, Liberty, I had to check in and go, is this what you remember?

[295] Because she's a little bit younger than me. And she goes, yeah, I don't think it didn't happen, you know.

[296] And some people do have slightly different version, especially things a long time ago.

[297] Yeah.

[298] Monica and I were talking yesterday, and she was like, what was your favorite teacher?

[299] And I said, Mrs. Giglio, and I was in kindergarten, she invited me over for spaghetti.

[300] And she's like, she did?

[301] And I'm like, yeah, that sounds really weird, doesn't it?

[302] But I don't know what to say.

[303] I think that's what happened.

[304] I was like, are you sure you didn't make it up?

[305] And it's like, no, we're not sure.

[306] I don't know.

[307] Well, my mom was a school teacher, and then she, back in the day, took the kids swimming on weekends, and they sometimes didn't have swimsuits or whatever and would just jump in the harbor.

[308] And I go, how is that?

[309] That wouldn't obviously be allowed now.

[310] Yes, some of this stuff just genuinely would never fucking happen, which almost makes you go like, well, could it have happened?

[311] But then, no, no, this stuff was happening all the time.

[312] But even then, if it was a male teacher, that would be bad.

[313] Isn't that interesting?

[314] If a male teacher invited you over for spaghetti.

[315] It'd be like, no. You're right.

[316] That's a bummer, too.

[317] It is kind of a bummer.

[318] It's all a bummer, but look, I have kids, and I'm not having male babysitters in their teens.

[319] That's a bummer.

[320] I'm playing a part, but I'm not willing to roll the dice.

[321] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[322] You don't know what to say.

[323] Yeah.

[324] But you were from Sydney.

[325] Yes.

[326] You were a little baby in Sydney.

[327] And your mom and dad were dog groomers, breeders, showers.

[328] So more, I would say dog showers then, and then we had a family business selling pet products at the dog shows.

[329] So basically, if you've seen that movie, best in show.

[330] That was my life.

[331] When I watched that, that wasn't comedy to me. That was like, oh yeah, that's what happens at dog shows.

[332] Jennifer Coolidge and everyone in that film, Eugene Levy.

[333] That was my life.

[334] Just the Australian version of that, but people that were obsessed with their dogs.

[335] And so we'd go in this yellow caravan, and we'd drive all around the country to different dog shows each weekend, and we'd sell little dog products.

[336] And you were selling lollies?

[337] That was my first business.

[338] I was an entrepreneur.

[339] I had my own little lolly shop.

[340] Although the first before that, I would collect up the soda cans.

[341] from the dog show and recycle them for money for the aluminium cans, yeah.

[342] Was there a deposit there that was refunded?

[343] That's how it wasn't Michigan.

[344] Other places just paid you for the bulk aluminium.

[345] You'd squash them all down with your little foot and then put them all in these bags and yet they'd weigh them on a big like fish hook and you get paid per weight.

[346] You know, you might get $5 if it was a really heavy, heavy bag for the aluminium.

[347] The lolly shop grew to such a size that the organizers were like, no, no, you're going to have to rent space.

[348] Yeah, I mean the adults, Like the guy with like the toasted sandwich van and the pancake man, they were just like, this girl's taking out profits.

[349] They basically banned me from having the lolly shop at the dog show because I wasn't paying rent like the adults were.

[350] You didn't need rent.

[351] Your lollies were so small.

[352] You were trading on your young cuteness.

[353] And then you got busted.

[354] Let's own it.

[355] They were like real cute.

[356] You're making more than us.

[357] They hated it.

[358] Yeah.

[359] You taught me a really great word.

[360] I identify as white trash.

[361] People don't like when I say that, but I love it.

[362] I'm total white trash, but Bogan?

[363] Okay, yeah, I thought you were going to say Bogan.

[364] Yeah, so Bogan's an Australian word.

[365] It essentially means white trash, the lower socioeconomic group in Australia.

[366] The working class.

[367] Yeah, but who are also proud of being Bogan's as well?

[368] Like Hillbilly.

[369] Yeah, say they're trailer trash and they love it.

[370] Similar kind of thing.

[371] Proud of our upbringings in the rough part of Sydney, which isn't rough compared to other rough parts in the world.

[372] Put an asterisk next to rough.

[373] Australia is not exactly that rough, but this was the rougher areas.

[374] And you have a sister and a brother.

[375] Two sisters and a brother.

[376] Yeah, I'm the eldest of four.

[377] And what kind of girl were you?

[378] Growing up, I was really shy, bordering on some kind of social disorder.

[379] Wouldn't really talk to anybody.

[380] And then, I think I was around 14.

[381] I read this article that said, whatever you are at 15 is basically your personality for life.

[382] Oh, shit.

[383] And I was like, you're sitting in the school library going, oh, I don't think.

[384] I think I want to be this girl that's like too shy to even answer a question in class.

[385] I don't want to be that for the rest of my life.

[386] Like I hated being that.

[387] And the good thing about being shy is you can observe everybody.

[388] So you get real good at watching people and stuff.

[389] Not in a creepy way.

[390] No, but yeah, reading people.

[391] Yeah.

[392] And then I thought, well, I don't want to be shy and have no friends.

[393] And so I went on this mission.

[394] I found this gym bag in my dad's car that had all these cassette tapes.

[395] And I was like, what is this?

[396] And they were all motivational self -help tapes.

[397] I know you have a complicated relationship with dad, as did I. But it's hard not to think that's sweet at this point.

[398] I know, because he was obviously trying to improve his life.

[399] So I just took the cassettes, never said anything.

[400] He never said anything either.

[401] And I just listened to them all.

[402] And one was like how to win friends and influence people, that classic Dale.

[403] Dale Carnegie.

[404] Yeah.

[405] And then I started trying to implement the things.

[406] What are the tips?

[407] Like you say people's names a lot and shit.

[408] The one I remember in that one, Dax, was to try to talk to five new people every day.

[409] and I went to an all -girls school, so I just, on the bus, would try to speak to somebody different.

[410] It was horrible the first few weeks, embarrassing and just weird.

[411] But then you realize there's other people out there who also don't have connection or don't have friends, and really that might have been the highlight of their day that someone came up to them and spoke to them because they might have been feeling as lonely and isolated as I was.

[412] That's the hiccup in our thinking as we feel ostracized and alone, but we assume everyone else is having a great time, and we're wrong.

[413] Yeah, and then I kind of changed my status from being the least popular girl at the school to being like the most popular.

[414] Wow.

[415] And how did debate file into that?

[416] As part of that, I had to push myself to do like public speaking and debating because that to me was like my nightmare.

[417] So I just pushed myself and the first times I did it, like I'd just go all red in the face.

[418] It must have been disastrous.

[419] Luckily no one has any recordings of it.

[420] Although I do have a recording of one 12th grade debate.

[421] We already polished.

[422] That I did and everyone was just like laughing hysterically because I would.

[423] throw in jokes, I get so confident about it.

[424] But at first, it would just be horrible.

[425] It would be like walking on nails.

[426] It would be an awful, awful experience.

[427] But I just kept pushing myself to do it.

[428] But God, most adults can't do that.

[429] Push themselves to do something so uncomfortable.

[430] I'm amazed that you as a kid could do that.

[431] I was like, I don't want to be like a loser, nobody who's so shy and can't express herself.

[432] And then part of that time before I kind of transition to being a more expressive person.

[433] My mom dragged me to these acting classes at the local community centre.

[434] Why do you suppose she did that?

[435] Just to help you get out of your shell?

[436] Yeah, but she did it in a real tough love kind of way.

[437] She didn't tell me, I was going.

[438] I go, why we're stopping here?

[439] She's like, get out of the car.

[440] And I wouldn't, because then I saw like, oh, community centre, I'm like, what is this?

[441] And then she literally physically dragged me with all her might, and I'm holding on to the car door for dear life going, I'm not going in, I'm not going in.

[442] And she shoves me in and says, I'll pick you up at five.

[443] and leaves me there, and then I'm in tears.

[444] Good for her, by the way.

[445] This is terrible parenting nowadays, but good for her.

[446] I know that if she hadn't done it, I maybe would have been a recluse.

[447] You'd be picking your butt at Sizzler right now.

[448] Maybe.

[449] I wouldn't have had the life that I had.

[450] So I do thank her, obviously, but I have my career now.

[451] How quickly did it get its hooks in you?

[452] How quickly did you realize, oh, I do like this?

[453] It definitely took six months.

[454] I writing the book, I was so traumatized by having to talk in front of people and especially other kids who, some of them were extrovert.

[455] that I spoke in this weird kind of American accent.

[456] You've made a character.

[457] For like six months.

[458] Yeah, because I couldn't.

[459] It was so hard to just be you.

[460] Yeah, and it was really, really traumatizing.

[461] And then when you see those movies like split and the people talk in a different voice, it was almost like that because it was so traumatic.

[462] And I was like, hi there.

[463] I had put on a character because I was that painfully shy.

[464] There has to be something innate about this impulse because I've talked about this on here.

[465] Like my daughter's one time in particular, I took her on a publicity tour, and she was young.

[466] She was probably too young to be on this tour with me, but I was like, this will be a great experience.

[467] She was three or four.

[468] And when we get into situations where she was getting way too much attention because of me, she'd start talking in a baby voice.

[469] I thought it reflected poorly on me as a parent.

[470] And for like the first day, I was telling her, like, talk in your real voice.

[471] And then all of a sudden I was like, oh, no, that's my embarrassment.

[472] She's fine.

[473] This is how she's dealing with it.

[474] It feels innate.

[475] And my other daughter does it, too.

[476] Because I don't know why I did it.

[477] That was just my only way of coping with the traumatic.

[478] situation of being thrown in a classroom of kids and having to play theater sports.

[479] It's like a lizard changing the color of their skin.

[480] I don't know.

[481] It's very interesting.

[482] Although in your case, you stuck out more.

[483] Yeah.

[484] And then they're like, oh, like, how long are you been in Australia?

[485] And it had to quickly create a backstory.

[486] But it took about six months.

[487] And then I kind of started enjoying it and enjoying doing the little scenes in the acting class and getting slowly more confident.

[488] And the great thing about the creative arts is that there's all these studies that shows it really helps young people's self -esteem and self -confidence.

[489] Even if you're not going to be an actor or anything, it can really help you be able to express yourself.

[490] And in my case, I was just somebody, if you looked at me, you just wouldn't be able to feel anything or see anything because I would never show anything.

[491] You were trying to be invisible.

[492] Yeah, basically.

[493] I don't feel like that got chased down so much in the book, with this desire to be invisible.

[494] So that was when I was unpopular.

[495] The worst thing is to be unpopular and very visible, because then you get the one that get bullied.

[496] So I was the unpopular one.

[497] Nobody knew.

[498] I knew the girl that had all the dandruff and she was getting bullied.

[499] Or the girl, she had this sanitary pad at the swimming carnival and jumped in the swimming pool and the sanitary pad floated up to the surface.

[500] And then everyone just made fun of her.

[501] And so I just knew I didn't want to be bullied because what's worse, you know, them being unpopular is being unpopular and bullied.

[502] So I would just make sure nobody knew me. It's so fucking brutal.

[503] A lot of women who've been sexually abused when they were young, they aim to make themselves invisible.

[504] That's a product of that trauma.

[505] So sad that you'd want to go through life disappearing.

[506] Yeah, it was more not to be bullied because I was just conscious of not sticking out.

[507] And then I'd always come home and then my mom's like, so, you know, you've got any friends?

[508] Would you lie to her?

[509] I just kind of avoid it.

[510] I could tell her concern.

[511] And I think part of why she wanted to push me into those acting classes is because if I got a bit more confident, I could have friends and invite them to birthday parties.

[512] That's the other thing for getting confident about being on a stage.

[513] It's the same as joining a sports team.

[514] You are inextricably dependent on one another for the thing to work.

[515] You're forced to value one another and see one another, and it does plop you in a community.

[516] And one of the strategies of becoming popular that I definitely did was join all the sports teams.

[517] You did.

[518] Field hockey we had at my school.

[519] That's big, right?

[520] Yeah, it's big in those kind of girls schools in Australia.

[521] and we'd play cricket, very British, softball, tennis, which we'd have teams, even though tennis is more individual, basketball.

[522] And were you good at these things?

[523] Yeah, I was good at tennis.

[524] My uncle was very good at tennis and is a tennis coach.

[525] And you got tennis lessons.

[526] This is one of the things you thanked your father for.

[527] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[528] So I thought maybe I could become a professional tennis player.

[529] And I would carry these bricks in my school bags to try to build up my shoulders.

[530] Sure.

[531] Which I think maybe is why I have big shoulders today.

[532] But I was never going to be tall enough.

[533] And then my mom said, you know, you're never going to make it as a tennis club.

[534] Go back to your acting class.

[535] Is it fair to say that you had developed a really rich fantasy life because you were invisible?

[536] Because I didn't really have friends in elementary school, I'd talk to my little toys and stuff, and they'd be my friend.

[537] And so I must have had this really great active imagination.

[538] And then later in life, because I had no real love life, I think I had a real imagination in my mind with that.

[539] stuff as well.

[540] I can relate.

[541] The irony, you know, we're going to get to the best chapter that Monica's going to be like so dialed in.

[542] The irony that you have and had played so many characters that were overtly sexual.

[543] Yeah.

[544] Drawing from what other than this fantastical imagination.

[545] Yeah.

[546] Movies, all the things.

[547] You just pick up on it in pop culture.

[548] But you didn't just pick up on it, you kind of mastered it.

[549] Anyone from the outside would think you were the thing you were playing so often.

[550] Yeah, I know.

[551] And then a lot of people thought I wasn't a great actress.

[552] so I was just being myself and then I was like, if only they knew.

[553] That I'd like kiss more people on screen than I had in their life.

[554] I read that and I was like, whoa.

[555] Did you feel fraudulent ever?

[556] Or were you just like, no, I'm acting?

[557] Because to me, it's acting.

[558] But then it would make me laugh.

[559] Often also people think I'm a partier because of some of the characters I played.

[560] I'm like the opposite.

[561] And then I go, well, that's because of my good acting.

[562] Right.

[563] James Franco had to admit on Stern that he doesn't smoke pot.

[564] People are like, what are you talking about?

[565] It's like you and Snoop and Seth Rogen.

[566] This can't be true.

[567] Yeah, it's crazy.

[568] So I just took it as a compliment to my acting.

[569] So you go to this all -girls school, and it's a very, very good school.

[570] And it's important to your dad, I guess, to sum him up briefly would be.

[571] He's very, very controlling.

[572] He's got some rage issues.

[573] He was never diagnosed psychologically what he had.

[574] But yeah, definitely inability to express emotions properly.

[575] Without screaming and threatening.

[576] Yeah.

[577] Yeah.

[578] But he had gone to.

[579] the brother's school of this school and was very proud of that, right?

[580] Yeah, and that school was called Kings.

[581] It's very fancy.

[582] They wear all military uniforms and have all these amazing facilities, including a multimillion dollar theater, which I got the benefit of performing in.

[583] His wish for his children was that we all got to go to these good private schools and that he would, no matter what, find out a way to pay for them.

[584] Because his own personal dream that had been cut short and or altered by the death of his father, the thing he was trying to heal in himself was that, Right.

[585] He felt like he should have maintained this trajectory and didn't it?

[586] So his father, my grandfather, it's a bit of a family mystery.

[587] He was apparently murdered when he was in his final year of high school.

[588] And so that changed his trajectory of his life and may have caused his issues.

[589] And so, yeah, I think he never got to fulfill what he wanted to do.

[590] So it was imperative that you did?

[591] Because he had to work so hard, like, I had to sell a lot of dog products to, like, afford this school.

[592] One point my dad was working nights in the gas station and doing.

[593] all sorts of things to get the money, because not just the school fees, but the uniforms and all the textbooks and everything.

[594] It was really expensive.

[595] But then he put a lot of pressure on me, especially being the oldest, that I then had to deliver.

[596] And then weirdly, I didn't work this out till later, but he did love comedy.

[597] You and I aren't as similar, but what year did your dad die?

[598] 10 years ago now.

[599] 2014.

[600] Yeah.

[601] So my dad died in 2012.

[602] He's the villain in my story all growing up.

[603] My mother's a saint.

[604] And as he's been dead for years, I've been thawing and recognizing like, oh, yeah, he had actually a ton of really sweet qualities.

[605] And, yeah, I was unwilling to grant him any ownership over my success.

[606] I felt like that, too, because I was almost estranged from my father for a long time since mum kicked him out of the house when I was 16.

[607] And then really didn't have much at all, apart from this obligatory birthdays and Christmas, where you go and be like, oh, yeah, hi.

[608] Hi, I resent you.

[609] Let's celebrate this holiday together.

[610] He's a present, and I'll take your present.

[611] Right.

[612] And we'll pretend to talk for a few minutes and it'll be real awkward.

[613] And then he's the villain who I hated.

[614] Part of writing this book, you do realize that people are complicated and you see other sides of them and they're good things that I could remember.

[615] Some of my younger sisters and brother don't remember some of the good things.

[616] Yeah.

[617] But there were some good things.

[618] And part of it was that my dad was hellbent that I gave an amazing education.

[619] And then that set me up to have whatever career I wanted to.

[620] I almost think you're destined to have.

[621] issues with the one you're most like.

[622] So when I really account for his life objectively, I'm like, oh, the greatest gift I have in life is that I have a lot of friendships, and I'm so spoiled in that way.

[623] And my dad had a fucking cabillion friends.

[624] And I'm like, oh, okay, I guess that's true.

[625] Like, that's clearly him.

[626] And then, boy, you just start looking more and more, not in your case, but for me, look more and more every day in the mirror.

[627] And you're like, oh, geez, this is fucking him.

[628] Sometimes some of the dark things from my dad, I put into jokes.

[629] You're like, oh, well, that's really Where I get it from, yeah, which makes me a bit edgier sometimes.

[630] I don't know whether you know any performers that they've had like this amazing sweet childhood and then sometimes their work comes out a bit vanilla because they haven't had any.

[631] Yes, I have a very specific memory of seeing someone's one man showing.

[632] They tell this beautiful story of being so supported by their father and this is why I'm not that into your comedy.

[633] Yeah.

[634] It's just that you've had a really nice childhood and I can't relate.

[635] Yeah.

[636] Now, do you think the school being all girls was a blessing?

[637] Oh, 100%.

[638] Because I think, I don't know if you could have mounted this personality reversal if we add boys to the mix.

[639] It would have been hard.

[640] It would have been even harder.

[641] And my cousins who went to mixed schools, they ended up getting pregnant like 15, 16.

[642] And then that made their life go in a different trajectory.

[643] Weirdly, being in an all -girl school, we were very protected.

[644] Like, we had bars on the window.

[645] So not go over to the boys school next door, which we are only allowed to go to the boys' school if you were in the theater productions.

[646] And that's where all the carnage happened.

[647] Did you have crush on boys and fantasies?

[648] Yeah, and I did have a little boyfriend who was the stage manager, you know, of the play in the tech crew.

[649] But I think we only kissed once in this very short -lived thing when I went on a family holiday to Disneyland, which was my parents' last ditch attempt to see whether their relationship would work.

[650] During that time, this boy cheated on me by kissing another girl.

[651] And then I said, that's it, boys.

[652] Yeah.

[653] Yeah, that's enough for me. I'm focusing on my studies.

[654] Okay, so you take a gap year out of high school.

[655] Yeah, so I did the most unusual thing after high school.

[656] I did really well at high school and got into the top law school.

[657] You were number two in food science.

[658] What the fuck?

[659] Food technology.

[660] I read that and I'm like, what does that mean?

[661] That was a bit of a scam.

[662] That counts as a science, like chemistry and biology.

[663] Wow.

[664] It's food technology.

[665] It's basically home economics, but a bit more scientific.

[666] But I literally did that, just scam the system and get 100.

[667] Smart.

[668] It worked.

[669] You were number two in the state.

[670] Yeah.

[671] And so I did really well, could have gone into any law or medicine.

[672] And then, weirdly, I was this witness in a major crime squad investigation.

[673] And from that, this guy had said to me, you should apply for this Rotary Youth Ambassador Program.

[674] You get to be a youth ambassador for Australia and you get sent to a country.

[675] You've got to live there and spread goodwill.

[676] It's like missionary work without the church.

[677] Yeah, because there was a bit of charity.

[678] So I got selected for the program and got sent to South Africa.

[679] And some of the charitable things was we build a rape crisis center.

[680] But mainly it's a bit like a cultural exchange and you give speeches about Australia when you go.

[681] And then you also get to tour all around Southern Africa.

[682] And you were not given malaria pills or were you given them and didn't take them?

[683] Because Monica and I just went to India and all we did is fright over whether we're going to take these things or not.

[684] So some people go, if you take them, if you're prone to some kind of mental illness or whatever, you might make you crazy.

[685] And I was like, oh no. Mallory War.

[686] And then I was in and out of malaria zones all the time.

[687] So I think at first I did take some tablets that I had.

[688] And then by this point in the year, yeah, I feel crazy.

[689] Yeah, I was like, oh, I'm in and out of Malarial Zones every weekend.

[690] So I just wasn't taking them.

[691] But it turns out the strain that I got was resisted.

[692] Wait, you got it?

[693] Yeah.

[694] Oh, what a great reaction.

[695] Yeah, Mono Car.

[696] So this is a pop -out for a month.

[697] Wow.

[698] Because another girl got it with me, and she had been taking the Malarial tablet.

[699] So you feel vindicated.

[700] Yeah, even if I had taken the tablet.

[701] tablets.

[702] One more rubber and one dinner.

[703] Both are pregnant.

[704] So you feel good on your decision.

[705] I got malaria from rural Mozambique and I know the day I got it.

[706] I know the mosquito is exactly because it was too late and then we had to just set up camp under the truck and they go, don't go wandering off because there's landmines in this area.

[707] So I remember exactly I slept on the road under the truck and the one side of my face was all mosquito bites when I woke up Because we're too tired to set up the tents.

[708] And then two weeks later, I was in this aerobics class in South Africa.

[709] That's how it takes.

[710] Yeah, it takes about two weeks.

[711] Well, you, because you stopped taking them.

[712] Oh.

[713] He stopped.

[714] And I didn't even know any lore about going crazy.

[715] Oh, yeah.

[716] And it's really bad.

[717] Stay tuned for more of Aronshire Expert, if you dare.

[718] We've all been there.

[719] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[720] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing, but for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[721] Like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[722] It's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[723] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[724] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[725] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[726] Prime members can listen early and ad -free on Amazon Music.

[727] What's up, guys?

[728] It's your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season, and let me tell you, it's too good, and I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[729] Every episode, I bring on a friend, and have a real conversation.

[730] And I don't mean just friends.

[731] I mean the likes of Amy Poehler, Kel Mitchell, Vivica Fox.

[732] The list goes on.

[733] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[734] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[735] So explain the onset of it.

[736] How long do you think like, I'm in this aerobic class, doing the grapevine.

[737] And suddenly I'm like, I don't feel so good.

[738] And then cut a few hours later at nighttime.

[739] I'm just moaning, lying in bed.

[740] And it kind of felt like I was in my body, but I felt like I was a meter away.

[741] It's not like a cold or flu.

[742] You can't describe like it's not anything like that.

[743] It's unique unto itself.

[744] And then I was just going, ah, ah, ah.

[745] And then eventually the host mother took me to the hospital the next morning.

[746] And then I remember them giving me some kind of morphine type drug to make it all stop.

[747] And they started treating me and I lost my hearing because the drugs were so powerful that they needed to pump me with.

[748] It was a real bad strain.

[749] Some strains, I guess, are not as bad.

[750] And then some can kill you.

[751] Did they call mom and say, like, come now?

[752] They did only a few days later.

[753] Because this was before, really, cell phones existed, but I didn't have one.

[754] Everyone's playing this game.

[755] Like, do we scare the parents?

[756] They're all the way in Australia.

[757] Let's see how this goes for a few more hours.

[758] Like, everyone's probably trying to make some cost -benefit analysis.

[759] And they eventually call my mom, and she was at a point in her life where she didn't have the money to fly over.

[760] So even if she'd wanted to and she had three kids with her at home, she couldn't have come over.

[761] Fucking Rotary Club.

[762] Yeah, dilemma.

[763] God damn Rotary.

[764] They're out there saying they're good.

[765] How long?

[766] I was in hospital for two weeks, but during that time, I have this hallucination.

[767] And the hallucination was that I was an actress and that I win an Academy Award.

[768] What?

[769] And it was so real.

[770] I've probably seen the Oscars maybe a couple times on TV, but it was so real.

[771] I come out of the hospital and I say to everyone, I'm going to be an actress now and I'm going to be really good.

[772] And everyone's like, uh...

[773] Let's send her back into the hospital.

[774] We think the malaria has demented you and you are actually insane now.

[775] I'm like, no, no, no. I saw it.

[776] I was wearing a dress and I went up there and I'd won and I gave an acceptance rap speech.

[777] I was very into rap back in the day.

[778] And then everyone just thought I was a lunatic.

[779] They thought, no, no, no, you're going to be a lawyer.

[780] Go and do that.

[781] That's the path for you.

[782] And I go, no, but I saw it.

[783] I literally lived in a hallucination.

[784] Yeah.

[785] And I'm telling you, I saw it happen.

[786] I had to stop telling people basically because they thought I was mentally insane.

[787] But when I came back to Australia, I did law school during the day and then acting at night.

[788] And then eventually it did happen a few years later and got on TV.

[789] Yeah, you have this mix of like you were working a bunch in Australia, but then also you moved to New York in 2003.

[790] Because I got a scholarship from Nicole Kidman to help my acting by doing extra training somewhere in the world.

[791] So I chose New York to come to Second City comedy school because we don't have any comedy schools in Australia.

[792] Even though Second City was bigger in Chicago, I wanted to go to New York because I love theater as well, so I wanted to go to Broadway.

[793] So I kind of combined the two.

[794] You wanted your cake and eat it too.

[795] Yeah.

[796] I wanted to see Broadway shows.

[797] goes really.

[798] So I was like, thanks for calling for it.

[799] So she just has like a scholarship fund.

[800] Yeah, she had at the time.

[801] I was a 16th person to win it and I got to go to New York, but only for three months.

[802] Well, that's pretty great.

[803] Yeah.

[804] And it was over winter.

[805] But I was so anxious to go.

[806] Did you love Second City?

[807] Yeah.

[808] I was looking back at my diaries over that time and Jack McBrayer was my teacher.

[809] He won.

[810] One of the classes.

[811] Sweet Jack McBer.

[812] Then I ended up seeing on 30 Rock.

[813] So it was cool because I learned a lot of stuff.

[814] And then when I got back, I got back, I got cast in a sketch comedy show in Australia called The Wedge and I wrote and performed my own characters which is not as good as like a Saturday Night Live or anything limited budgets in Australia but it's kind of a similar type of thing and that time at Second City that international experience really helped Also you were on pizza?

[815] My first breakout role was this show called Fat Pizza which is also a movie which is a bit confusing I was in both and basically I played this Greek gang girl and I dyed my hair black I did num trucks and kind of crazy shit bash people up and Real popular in Australia, but very stereotypical, a lot of race humour, a lot of things that wouldn't be appropriate now.

[816] Wouldn't fly.

[817] Yeah, one of the guys, he has an argument with someone who goes and gets a chainsaw and, like, chops them up.

[818] A lot of grotesque stuff, but it used to be so popular.

[819] And then I was the first female cast member to become a regular, and people thought I was this Greek girl for years, and that they'd just plucked me out of a gang.

[820] Oh, wow.

[821] Yeah, and that I was this girl.

[822] And then if they'd known, I'd been to, like, a private Christian or girls school.

[823] Yeah, and they had the Nicole Kidman scholarship.

[824] Yeah, they didn't know that.

[825] Yeah, I know.

[826] Wintered in New York.

[827] They'd literally like, oh, what train station did you find this girl at?

[828] They thought I was the real deal.

[829] I imagine I would have gotten comfortable there.

[830] You're working, you're supporting yourself.

[831] Why ever leave that?

[832] Do you know Josh Lawson by June?

[833] Yes.

[834] So, Josh is one of the people that gave me advice.

[835] Get the fuck out.

[836] Oh, okay, we love Josh.

[837] I'd only known two people who had gone to America and booked a job.

[838] and Josh was one of them.

[839] So we went out to lunch in Melbourne and I was like, oh, I'm thinking of going over and trying my luck.

[840] And I'd had my own comedy show which had written and produced as well.

[841] And so it was getting a bit of attention and I got a meeting with WME, the agency.

[842] So I was like, okay, I'm going to go over.

[843] What's your advice, Josh?

[844] Okay, so culturally Australians have this thing where you don't big up yourself.

[845] You're kind of like, oh yeah, I'm not that good.

[846] So he goes, in America, you have to do the opposite.

[847] You have to go and you say, I am the biggest comedy star ever.

[848] I am the female Jonah Hill.

[849] I am going to crush it.

[850] I am worth millions and millions of dollars.

[851] The complete opposite of any Australian.

[852] This sounds like risky advice.

[853] No, I think that's pretty easy.

[854] He stared me in my eyes and said, you have to sell yourself.

[855] Do not do the Australian thing.

[856] You know, Matt Lucas, who's my friend who's British, said one time on a red carpet.

[857] From Little Britain.

[858] Yeah.

[859] One time on a red carpet, someone goes, congratulations in the movie and he did the classic British thing goes oh well I'm not in it that much and then the interview just turns around and moves to the next person because culturally we're a little bit different to Americans in that way and he goes nut if you come to America you want a job just fucking sell yourself hard so I came over came here one block away and then luckily WME accepted me and they set me up on that little water bottle tour where you go all around do generals yeah do all your general meetings and All the studios.

[860] So let's talk about that for half a second because this is probably so ill -suited for most people and artists in particular.

[861] But for me, my day was a car salesman.

[862] I probably would have sold cars had I not left Michigan.

[863] This is my favorite part of the job.

[864] A blind date with an executive.

[865] Did you hate them or love them?

[866] It is like dating.

[867] And you go there and you've literally got about 30 minutes to like excite them, entertain them, intrigue them, make them potentially want to hire you and see you again.

[868] But luckily, I had pretty interesting stories in my life.

[869] And you're already interested.

[870] interesting because you're novel and you're Australian.

[871] Yeah, and I was a big girl, I don't know, about 220 pounds.

[872] There really wasn't many at that time.

[873] And that, I think, is the reason WME signed me. And then I came, and then I was different because I...

[874] Well, hold on.

[875] Let's take you one second for that, because it actually is an enormous part of the story as you end up at a fertility clinic.

[876] Yeah.

[877] So right out of the gates, you do connect the fact that I am occupying a niche that is going, to be beneficial.

[878] Yes.

[879] I forget whether it was Josh or the other person I asked for advice.

[880] They said, don't come to America and say you can do everything because then you'll get nothing.

[881] You've got to specifically pigeonhole yourself.

[882] And that pigeonhole was the female Jonah Hill because Jonah Hill had been in some of Chad Abattow's movies and it was really popular.

[883] So they go, you've got to sell yourself in a very small pigeonhole.

[884] And that's what I chose.

[885] Even though I'd done some Shakespeare and things in Australia.

[886] No, no, no. Forget about that.

[887] Just do the one avenue.

[888] It did work, though.

[889] It was successful.

[890] Yeah, clearly.

[891] We're chatting and you own a nice house.

[892] I think a nice car.

[893] Yeah, I still got it.

[894] In Australia, your work on The Wedge and pizza, were you also being the female, Joan Hill, there?

[895] No, I was doing mainly comedies at that point on television.

[896] The stage, I'd done all sorts of things.

[897] And I'd been on, like, 13 different TV shows, culminating in where I had my own show in Australia.

[898] It was different because I'd written it and also produced it as well and done the legal contracts, which is, you know, people are like, how'd she do her own DVD distribution deal?

[899] I'm like, well, yeah, law degree as well.

[900] Wow.

[901] And then I think they found that combination interesting as well.

[902] And then bridesmaids happens pretty quick.

[903] Yeah.

[904] One of those general meetings was with Alison Jones casting director.

[905] She's lovely.

[906] Yeah, and then she remembered.

[907] me and then brought me in for bridesmaids.

[908] And they were always going to give it to Melissa McCarthy because she's excellent.

[909] And I think they were friends with her from groundlings.

[910] But they needed another choice to bring into the studio to go, oh, you know, look how great Melissa is.

[911] Right.

[912] Yeah, yeah.

[913] This is the best of the rest, this girl from Australia.

[914] But Melissa's going to get the job.

[915] I was around for that.

[916] Kristen was having a very uphill battle getting her in the movie to be funny.

[917] Yeah, they wanted her though.

[918] The writers, for sure.

[919] And that was right.

[920] Yeah.

[921] She was incredible.

[922] But then maybe the studio was a Then I come in and it's Kristen Whig sitting on a stool behind the camera, Jad Avertat, Paul Figg and Alison, and they're like, okay, you're at a wedding and you're just going to improvise with Kristen.

[923] And I'm like, oh, holy shit.

[924] She was like the big star from Saturday Night Live.

[925] When I was in New York in 2003, I'd lined up to try to go to Saturday Night Live in the cold when you stand there for midnight and try to get standby tickets.

[926] Yeah.

[927] And I didn't get in, you know, I was like 50 people to like.

[928] Monica, your guys' story is very similar.

[929] Yeah.

[930] Monica did a lot of lining up.

[931] Yeah, I like went in the middle of the night and stood there.

[932] Anyway, so I was like, oh, Kristen, I don't go, but now's my chance.

[933] And then all that experience from Australia doing improv, doing stand -up comedy, doing a lot of acting, I was like, I'm just going to go for it.

[934] Out of all those auditions, I was like, well, this movie's going to be great.

[935] I knew it must have gone well because it went for an hour.

[936] And then by one point, we're improvising doing cocaine through our belly buttons, you know, and Kristen.

[937] I don't know how it got to that, but we're just like going crazy.

[938] And she was the warmest, nicest performer to ask.

[939] with.

[940] And then I left going, maybe I have a chance at this.

[941] Because that role, that was good.

[942] That was such a good role.

[943] You could tell from the script.

[944] And she ended up getting nominated, I think, for an ask up for that.

[945] And then I get a call two days later going, I've got the role.

[946] And I'm going crazy.

[947] And they go, no, it's not the role you went for.

[948] They're going to add you in to the movie and you're going to play Matt Lucas's sister, who had already been cast as her roommate.

[949] You look a bit like him.

[950] They wrote you a point.

[951] So for a second, I thought I had got the role.

[952] The big role.

[953] And so then I was obviously a bit disappointed because, oh, what is this new other role?

[954] And then they go, you've just been cast in a Jada Patel, Paul Feet, movie.

[955] Aren't you happy?

[956] Yeah.

[957] And I went, yeah.

[958] You had this expectation.

[959] Yeah, that I got the role I auditioned for.

[960] But you were smart enough or the people around you were smart enough to go still be a part of this.

[961] Oh, yeah.

[962] And I knew it was going to be a very successful movie.

[963] I went and filmed only a week on it.

[964] It's such an accelerant, too.

[965] Now when you audition for things, you're in Bridesport.

[966] Yeah.

[967] Everyone in town wants the next bridesmaids.

[968] Just to be associated with it is this enormous propulsion forward, right?

[969] It was a gift and then I talk about it got paid $3 ,500 and that $3 ,500 I had to give to join SAG, the union.

[970] So I really made nothing and paid for myself to go to the premiere.

[971] So I really lost like at least $10 ,000.

[972] But it was the world's best gift and I had to wait till the movie came out and then I only had four little scenes and I was like, is that enough?

[973] And then I remember Jonah Hill had one scene.

[974] In 40 -year -old.

[975] Yeah, a 40 -year -old virgin.

[976] And I was like, oh, okay, then he got jobs.

[977] And I was like, I have four scenes.

[978] That's four chances to get noticed.

[979] And then, bang, as soon as Bridesmaids came out, I think I booked six movies or something, one of which was pitch perfect.

[980] Yes.

[981] Right off the back of it.

[982] But I had to wait until the movie came out.

[983] So that was a very hard year here in Los Phyllis with no money.

[984] Yes.

[985] Oh, similarly, I have been out here for almost 10 years auditioning, getting nothing.

[986] I got punked.

[987] I did the pilot.

[988] I knew it was special.

[989] And then the show got sued.

[990] And then the show is in court for a year.

[991] And I was just like, oh my God, I almost got there.

[992] Why won't this come out?

[993] Yeah, that agony.

[994] Did you like doing punked?

[995] No, it's not my style of comedy.

[996] But I would have sucked dicks on TV at that point for any amount of money.

[997] There was nothing I wouldn't have done on TV.

[998] Because I did a show like that in Australia called Monster House.

[999] So one was called Deja Vu, one of the setups.

[1000] And we'd lure people into the house.

[1001] They didn't know that there were all cameras in the walls.

[1002] It looked like a normal house, but it was rigged up like a big brother house.

[1003] And then Loued like a mortgage broker in.

[1004] And then we'd do this scenario where I'd play the girl in the family and I'd come down and ask for the keys and then I'd exit.

[1005] And then five minutes later, I'd do the exact same thing, the exact same movement.

[1006] And the person's just sitting there.

[1007] You know, we'd freak them out.

[1008] Yeah, they'd have deja vu.

[1009] Other scenarios were different where we'd suddenly say the house has been quarantined for some infectious disease and they'd have to take their clothes off.

[1010] There were all these things But I hated doing it Because it was lying to real people It felt mean Whereas acting is different Everyone's in on it That's why I asked you about punked Because I felt awful doing it to real people Well it was lessened for me Because everyone I was involved With fooling was very high status Compared to me So I didn't have any of the guilt Of your average Joe I was like I don't feel too bad for Justin Timberlake I'm at his mansion And he has all these cars I want So just my own story But I'm not a point prankster by nature.

[1011] It's not what I would have come up with, but I'm so grateful for it.

[1012] And I'm proud of how it turned out.

[1013] So that's just fast forward because you end up doing three pitch perfects.

[1014] They're fucking enormous.

[1015] They're the biggest musical comedies of all time.

[1016] You do how to be single, which made a fortune.

[1017] You do guys and dolls on the West End.

[1018] Isn't it romantic?

[1019] The hustle.

[1020] Senior year.

[1021] You end up making, and this is from your book, I didn't look you up and out you.

[1022] 20 million bucks in one year.

[1023] Wow.

[1024] That was the year I did, Pitch Perfect 3, produced and acted in, isn't it romantic in the hustle?

[1025] That was my biggest.

[1026] I'm also glad you put that in your book because I feel like we're taught, special women, but everyone.

[1027] Be humble and don't say that and act like you don't have as much as you have or you're not worth what you're worth.

[1028] And it's awesome to be like, yeah, I did that.

[1029] I think also additionally, it's really important because, and this is, is a never -ending thread of this whole show is that you hit these markers where your certain life will be fantastic.

[1030] And it is important to know that the actual marker was hit.

[1031] I grew up hearing that Will Ferrell got 20 million a movie and Vince Vaughn got 20.

[1032] This is like a very significant thing in our business.

[1033] So when you hit this number, we have arrived at the place where you're supposed to feel fantastic about yourself and be in a state of elation at all times.

[1034] And then weirdly, I think you start questioning exactly what we're doing, right?

[1035] Yeah, because coming from not having that much money, you think, oh, God, if I could, I remember Jim Carrey telling a story about he got some huge paycheck.

[1036] He had written himself at shit.

[1037] Yeah, that story.

[1038] And then I was like, God, if I made $10 million a movie, like, that's insane.

[1039] My life is awesome.

[1040] And then I got to the end of that year and basically just wanted to collapse and wasn't happy.

[1041] I mean, I mean, was proud of earning the money and doing those awesome movies.

[1042] And you like your house and you like your car.

[1043] Yeah.

[1044] And I like not having to worry when you go to the grocery store, like what the total is going to be.

[1045] Because when I was in Los Phyllis, I had a budget of $60 a week for my groceries.

[1046] And I couldn't go over that because then I'd have to leave America if I didn't have enough money.

[1047] And so it comes with some awesome things.

[1048] But then I start going, oh, well, I've done that.

[1049] I've been in big movies.

[1050] My goal when I came to America was just to get in one Hollywood movie.

[1051] because then I thought people would respect me in Australia.

[1052] You could have returned home as succeeding at your goal.

[1053] Yeah, I could have come home after rides me. You keep moving the gold post though.

[1054] Yeah, and then now, okay, maybe one more.

[1055] Anything short of Melissa McCarthy's career and I'm a failure.

[1056] Yeah, I'm like, oh, I know.

[1057] And then I started to go, but what about the rest of me?

[1058] Exactly.

[1059] I've been so driven, almost like an Olympic athlete.

[1060] I do think you have to be that focus to make it in the entertainment business, very, very competitive.

[1061] And so I've neglected all these other parts of my life.

[1062] Well, what you do, and by the way, I did the exact same thing, which is it becomes the primary and only identity.

[1063] I got to be a successful actor.

[1064] And then if you're lucky enough, you get to make that your identity.

[1065] But then you also go, oh, wow, this identity can be taken from me as well.

[1066] Yeah.

[1067] This is a tricky business.

[1068] And also, you can sense there's a whole part of the human experience that you are missing.

[1069] Yeah.

[1070] And so I've been objectively speaking successful in my mission to come to America, come to Hollywood, and make it as an actress, but then it doesn't make you feel that great.

[1071] But all this time, I just wanted it, wanted it, and worked really hard.

[1072] But that is the weird gift of it, in my opinion.

[1073] The gift of it is to get it, and then you can acknowledge that you would like more on an interpersonal level, on every other level.

[1074] But if you don't get there, you don't ever come out of the haze of the fantasy.

[1075] It's a huge gift, but it's not the gift you think it's going to be.

[1076] You die thinking that would have solved everything.

[1077] Yeah, the girl who I roomed with left after.

[1078] a few years and didn't make it and probably thinks, oh, she would have had a spectacular life.

[1079] Yeah, had she made it.

[1080] So somehow in the process of coming to terms with all this and being recognizable and all these things, through the advice of a friend, you're strongly urged to freeze your eggs.

[1081] Through one of the pitch perfect girls, I think a lot of them have done it now.

[1082] And I didn't have a boyfriend at the time.

[1083] And I was like, well, I'm getting close to 40.

[1084] Yeah, how old were you?

[1085] I was 39.

[1086] And then I go in to see the fertility doctor.

[1087] And I think I want to have kids and my friend told me she came to you to freeze her eggs.

[1088] I was such an idiot.

[1089] I go, oh, yeah, so I think I should do that as well.

[1090] And then he looks me up and down and goes, yeah, but you'd have a much better chance if you were healthy.

[1091] Really quick.

[1092] You know, Monica had a whole show called Race of 35, which she's freeze her egg.

[1093] She's like, she has been down this whole path with you.

[1094] So I wish I'd known about it earlier and then also medically obese.

[1095] And so the doctor was like basically riding me off.

[1096] And then that was a whole catalyst to change my life to become healthier.

[1097] weirdly i couldn't do it for myself but i could do it for a potential child yeah well you're very goal oriented type yeah it's hard to make yourself a goal maybe it's those motivational tapes so i was like okay 2020 i'm gonna get healthy two freezes my eggs and then maybe also secretly to look hotter as well well this is a very interesting part of it i know that's the vain part of it well but i've seen you talk of course when you lost weight that becomes the topic You even were in an interview on the BBC and you're talking about really if you quantified how much press and headlines you had gotten over your weight lawsuit, it would far eclipse any of the press for your film work.

[1098] And then in these interviews, I find you regularly having to say, well, it was to get healthy.

[1099] And I just think that you're in one of the more unique positions of anyone I would ever talk to on this topic, which is you did become a mascot of body positivity and self -love.

[1100] Which I love.

[1101] Yes.

[1102] Yes.

[1103] But I was comparing, I was talking to my wife about this today, I was like, you're in a very tricky situation, I acknowledge, which is so many women felt like they had representation because of you.

[1104] You were very outspoken about loving yourself, very positive.

[1105] Then those people maybe feel betrayed when you change your body and how you're probably trying to balance these people who you spoke for.

[1106] And are you entitled to make a decision to do something else?

[1107] And do you have to constantly defend that decision?

[1108] Well, I had made millions and millions of dollars playing the fat funny girl, and I represented that to so many people because I did love myself and I do think beauty is at any size and body positive comments.

[1109] I do really think that.

[1110] But then also internally, I knew that I was engaging in very unhealthy behaviors and I was eaten a whole gallon of ice cream a night.

[1111] It's all throughout your history as a child.

[1112] You react to sugar in a way that is how I react to cocaine.

[1113] Yeah, I had a drug.

[1114] It was cocaine.

[1115] yours of sugar.

[1116] You use it to regulate.

[1117] And literally people say my eyes sparkle when I eat chocolate.

[1118] You can literally see it.

[1119] I don't want to encourage you anything bad, but at the same time I kind of want to see the sparkle.

[1120] We do have Tim Tang right here.

[1121] Yeah, pass me over a Tim Tamp.

[1122] This old thing feels orchestrated.

[1123] Like, that's the way to cheer me up with a chocolate.

[1124] And so it's a complicated thing because I often just have more love for bigger people or sympathize with them and being bigger allowed me this amazing career and I'd profited on it.

[1125] But then I knew I had these eating patterns that were bad for me, and that that part was bad.

[1126] You forget the results of the eating.

[1127] You recognize the eating in itself is problematic in that you're regulating your emotional state with something external.

[1128] You could say that for sex, you could say that for drugs and alcohol, anything.

[1129] This is a very complicated situation.

[1130] And I knew that that part I had to fix or work on.

[1131] I don't know whether I can ever fix it, but I had to work on it.

[1132] Regardless of the outcome, you wanted to tackle this.

[1133] The way your body looks is different than the habit you're trying to correct.

[1134] Those are separate things.

[1135] Yeah.

[1136] So I started losing weight.

[1137] And then some people are like, why is she changing?

[1138] Because it makes them think now she's abandoning us or she's not one of us anymore.

[1139] She's a sellout or traitor.

[1140] Or why is she doing this?

[1141] And it makes them feel bad because maybe they couldn't make the change in their own life.

[1142] They feel weirdly maybe judged by what you've done.

[1143] Yeah.

[1144] And so they don't like it.

[1145] But then you're like, well, what would you like?

[1146] Would you like me to go to the John Kand?

[1147] root and then you die prematurely.

[1148] Is that what those people wanted?

[1149] Because that's kind of what happens if you keep really overeating.

[1150] So there was a segment of people, they'd say unrelatable anymore, or she's not funny anymore, which is interesting and maybe...

[1151] Kristen Weig was small, she was funny and brights.

[1152] I know, but it's weird because I've done this subject at university called Comedy and Power.

[1153] If you are physically not good looking, it is better for your comedy career.

[1154] So if you have something extreme about you like weight or you have a big nose or you're super tall or you're super small.

[1155] They are advantages because if people don't want to sleep with you, they're more likely to find you funny.

[1156] If they want to sleep with you, they're less likely to find you funny.

[1157] Oh, that's really interesting.

[1158] Yeah, psychologically.

[1159] Is that work both ways gender -wise?

[1160] I think so.

[1161] Wow.

[1162] But it's probably more prejudicial towards women.

[1163] Yeah.

[1164] There's so many like probably primitive, competitive things.

[1165] Or if a guy is watching another guy be super funny and he's watching females laughing.

[1166] He would be threatened by that guy if he were great looking.

[1167] Oh, wow, we're getting somewhere.

[1168] It also almost explains why that has been the case for comedian stand -ups, except for black dudes.

[1169] Black dudes can be sexy and hot.

[1170] And I wonder if that's just because, oh, they've been so marginalized.

[1171] That's not a threat either.

[1172] So they're allowed to be hot.

[1173] Yeah, Eddie Murphy would be wearing a leather suity, sexy as fuck.

[1174] Chappelle's gorgeous and sexy.

[1175] Yeah, gorgeous.

[1176] Yeah.

[1177] So that's been a fun.

[1178] But most white stand -ups have been either kind of nebushy or dorky or, you know, goofy.

[1179] Men couldn't laugh at that.

[1180] That's just too threatening.

[1181] Wait, you have that power and you're hot.

[1182] And it's the same with women.

[1183] That's why it's someone like Jennifer Aniston, who I think is really attractive.

[1184] It's interesting, she's had the great comedy career that she's had because she is pretty good looking and that's unusual.

[1185] But it's probably because on Friends, that role didn't start off as the funny role.

[1186] She was this love interest of Ross, and then she's just funny and great.

[1187] So I think they wrote to that, but she wasn't passed.

[1188] They had to love her before they let her.

[1189] Lisa Kudra was cast as the funny female role.

[1190] Yeah, because she was a bit more queer.

[1191] She was tall.

[1192] Yeah, and it's like that traditionally in rom -coms, it was always really the hot girl was the love interest, and then it was always the fat, funny friend because of their physical irregularity.

[1193] It's crazy fascinating.

[1194] But what really makes you funny is your personality.

[1195] personality.

[1196] And often people who aren't good looking develop more of a personality.

[1197] I might be simplifying everything.

[1198] But I do believe that sometimes good looking people have a positive bias in the world and therefore they don't need to work as hard.

[1199] How about this?

[1200] Yeah.

[1201] We all only work as hard as we have to.

[1202] Yeah.

[1203] We can also be saved by a delusion.

[1204] If you read Amy Poller's book, Amy Poller is so cute and attractive.

[1205] It's ridiculous.

[1206] She's also hysterically funny and she would be an example of someone that's still hot.

[1207] But she and her mind in her own book will tell you, she looked in the mirror in high school and said, you're not getting boyfriends because of your hotness.

[1208] You got to double down on this personality.

[1209] And I had the same exact speech to myself in the mirror.

[1210] Like this knows and being 1 .30 and 612, you got to do some other shit.

[1211] And it's funny, you can through your own delusion, get to the same place.

[1212] Yeah, you can.

[1213] So you say it in the book, you really, in a very exaggerated sense, felt like you had to make a decision between do I want to a career or do I want to try to have a baby?

[1214] Yeah, and mainly because my agent at the time also kind of put it that way.

[1215] Because there was a fear not just from people on the internet, but also for my team that if you lose weight, you'll lose that pigeonhole that you've so carefully crafted for yourself and you won't make the millions of dollars anymore.

[1216] And so it was a pretty serious thing for me to go, okay, thanks guys, for the advice.

[1217] But I think in my heart it is better to be healthier and try to go after that.

[1218] that and freeze my eggs.

[1219] And so I ignored pretty much all their advice and did what I wanted to do.

[1220] Yeah.

[1221] What was best for you.

[1222] Now along the way, you set up for that goal, but also what I don't like is that you wouldn't be allowed to say, and I also liked it.

[1223] Yeah.

[1224] So I started noticing, I mean, the first 20 pounds, someone at the Oscars go, you know, oh, oh, geez, she's looking all right.

[1225] And then 40 pounds.

[1226] And then people like, oh.

[1227] And then I posted like a picture in a bikini in my hot tub and then an executive at the movie studio who I'd been wanting to call me back for months calls me back.

[1228] Weird things started happening like at the Gelson's people would offer to carry my groceries to the car.

[1229] Really?

[1230] You're getting hot girl privilege all of a sudden.

[1231] Or hold doors open for me in New York City going into a restaurant or something.

[1232] And it didn't happen unless it would sometimes happen you'd be more visible if you're on a press tour and you're in full glam.

[1233] People are nice to you.

[1234] But normally you're just like flopping around in your track pants.

[1235] You're not getting any kind of good -looking person, bias, positive bias.

[1236] So these things were happening that I'd never had before.

[1237] And I was like, oh my God, is this what other people, you see all the glamazons walking around here, and you're like, is this what they get every day?

[1238] Yes, yes, yes.

[1239] Are people at Starbucks delighted to take their order?

[1240] Yeah.

[1241] And they are.

[1242] And then I was like, I think I enjoyed it a bit.

[1243] Of course.

[1244] The attention.

[1245] And I started posting all the time pictures.

[1246] I'm thinking it was like God's gift to hotness or something.

[1247] You're getting so much positive reinforcement.

[1248] Let's also point out, too, these things are very hard to evaluate because pre -weight loss, you had a story about yourself in your life, which was I am invisible, no one cares.

[1249] You are missing a few times maybe someone did hold open a door for you because it's actually counter to your story.

[1250] Although, I don't know.

[1251] You don't think so, no one ever.

[1252] Like, no one ever came up and said they had a crush on me or whatever, like no one.

[1253] But if you adjust your story, you start letting in this notion like, I'm kind of hot.

[1254] Now you do start seeing the evidence of that more.

[1255] I see it with Monica.

[1256] I see you guys hit on, sorry Monica.

[1257] I see you guys hit on Monica all the time.

[1258] What's your status, Monica, relationship status?

[1259] I feel like I want to say a thing I can't say.

[1260] Because ding, ding, ding, ding.

[1261] Yeah, there's a big ding, ding, ding.

[1262] Can we talk about that?

[1263] Well, we'll cut it out.

[1264] I think you should.

[1265] Stay tuned for more Firefire expert, if you dare.

[1266] I think the chapter in the book that, to me, on the outside, it's shocking to me, this was the thing you were most scared to say out loud and most embarrassed by.

[1267] You're going to say the virginity.

[1268] Yeah, and the thing that many people won't even know until they read this book that actually know you quite well.

[1269] So literally, you're now one of the handful of people that know this.

[1270] So basically it's that I lost my virginity at 35.

[1271] I mean, at least I did it before 40 because I'd seen that movie 40 -year -old virgin.

[1272] He said you were mildly obsessed with that, right?

[1273] I was like, oh shit, well, as long as I do it before 40, then I'm not like Steve Carell, which I know he's a character in that.

[1274] Anyways, I was listening to one of your podcasts with Molly, and she said 24 or something, she lost her virginity and how late.

[1275] People who lose their virginity even in their early 20s think that's so late.

[1276] I know.

[1277] And like, they talk about it.

[1278] And then I was just like, oh, shit.

[1279] I was 35 and what does that say about me?

[1280] And so even the guy who I had sex with, I didn't even tell him.

[1281] You say in the book, he's probably learning.

[1282] He will probably learn about this.

[1283] So just to tell you, Monica has the same story.

[1284] Yeah, I'll tell.

[1285] Okay.

[1286] I was 29 and I had the same thing.

[1287] I was like, 30 is approaching fast.

[1288] That's a big number.

[1289] It was like, this is a big number.

[1290] I got to get this done.

[1291] I got to check this off the list.

[1292] I got to rip the band.

[1293] I've got to figure out how to have sex.

[1294] There's nothing about it that's sexy or romantic.

[1295] It's just like, this has happened.

[1296] And I did tell the person and I was really debating.

[1297] Do I say it or do I not?

[1298] For some reason, I don't know why.

[1299] It felt unethical to not, but I also didn't know.

[1300] And then we were about to have sex.

[1301] And I was like, I have to tell you something.

[1302] And he, of course, I'm sure thought I was going to say I had an STI or something like that.

[1303] And I said, yeah, I've never had sex before.

[1304] And he was like, oh, do you want to?

[1305] Which is a lovely.

[1306] Incredible.

[1307] The reason I tell this story is because the way this person handled it was spectacular.

[1308] He said, do you want to?

[1309] And I said, yes.

[1310] And he said, okay, great.

[1311] And then we did.

[1312] You fucked this shit out of me. Well, the actual sex is a big old blur.

[1313] Like, I barely remember it.

[1314] Yeah, same.

[1315] Because it was such a big deal in my mind.

[1316] Yeah.

[1317] Like, it's happening.

[1318] You know, I felt very happy.

[1319] It was happening.

[1320] Because I built it up, and I did have this great imagination before.

[1321] So I knew I wasn't asexual or anything.

[1322] You had insecurity that you wouldn't be good at it.

[1323] Did you have that same, Monica?

[1324] For sure.

[1325] Or like, I wasn't going to be sexy.

[1326] Yeah.

[1327] All of it.

[1328] Yeah.

[1329] I don't know what I'm doing.

[1330] I mean, I like an idiot, watch porn movies the night before.

[1331] Oh, smart.

[1332] Trying to get some last minute tips or something.

[1333] Wait, and was this a boyfriend?

[1334] Or was it also?

[1335] Yes, it was a boy who I was really, really into.

[1336] Because you get to that point as well, you're like, if I'm going to sleep with someone, it has to be someone good.

[1337] I can't just shag a random person because it had been so long.

[1338] Each situation is so unique and hard in its own way.

[1339] But you are also dealing with this very public persona of being very sexual.

[1340] Yeah.

[1341] Yeah, so when I'd gone out on a few dates for people, I think they were shocked when we sat down and were in a one -on -one situation or after the date.

[1342] And I wasn't like that because that was the character and that wasn't the real me. And then they get a bit confused.

[1343] And so that made dating a bit tricky.

[1344] And then what could I do?

[1345] I'm not going to go say it.

[1346] What if someone sells the story to TMZ or something?

[1347] Right.

[1348] Minimally, you wanted to trust the person.

[1349] So I'd be interested, and this is the first time I'm talking about it, but I'll be interested when the book comes out where the people, people think it's super weird or whether there's lots of people who secretly were like me. I think there's lots.

[1350] And I think when Monica has been very honest and brave about it, she's done this numerous times on here, both with the egg freezing.

[1351] You just see thousands of people come out of the woodwork and go, oh my God, thank God.

[1352] Someone's finally saying this.

[1353] When she has talked about her late loss of her virginity, thousands of people.

[1354] And no boyfriends.

[1355] In my 20s didn't date.

[1356] One person was just focused on career.

[1357] But I also felt inside that I wasn't lovable or I didn't have that.

[1358] that self -worth.

[1359] I had it in other areas, weirdly.

[1360] Same.

[1361] Had it in career.

[1362] I had it in my brains.

[1363] I had it in some areas and not in others.

[1364] I didn't feel worthy of love in myself.

[1365] And that's why I went on that experiment year called the Year of Love, trying to find love, which had a big plot twist.

[1366] How did that work out?

[1367] Anyone who asked me out, I had to say yes to.

[1368] Oh, wow.

[1369] It was 2019.

[1370] But I didn't advertise it.

[1371] My one exception was if they were in prison, then no. That's hard, or your stalker.

[1372] Yeah, so for anybody else, I said, yeah.

[1373] So I joined this dating app, Brian.

[1374] Anyone who'd legit ask me out on a date, I'd go out on.

[1375] How many did you go on?

[1376] So I went on 50 dates, which for me was huge.

[1377] Yeah.

[1378] That's huge.

[1379] More than once a week.

[1380] It gets a lot of effort to do your hair and get ready and do the chit chat with the people.

[1381] And it met some actually lovely people.

[1382] Was this pre -viginity or post?

[1383] Post.

[1384] Yeah.

[1385] So I'd already had sex and had a couple of minor relationships but didn't find the one.

[1386] This journey I was on, I thought.

[1387] to find a husband at the time or real partner.

[1388] But then really the journey, what I realize now is that I was trying to love myself more and know that I was worthy of love, but I was doing that by trying to find the external love, which is kind of the storyline of isn't it romantic?

[1389] Like art imitating life.

[1390] But then weirdly, by doing that, I had feelings for a woman, and then it just was a total sight curveball out of nowhere.

[1391] Yeah.

[1392] Because I met this tennis player and was like, And then felt all these feelings that I had not felt before.

[1393] And then it was like crazy.

[1394] Soulmate feelings.

[1395] It didn't work out.

[1396] But it was like a huge plot twist in my year of love.

[1397] What a year.

[1398] Yeah.

[1399] I know.

[1400] What does that do to your agenda moving forward?

[1401] Well, at that point, I thought maybe it's not like a Disney prince.

[1402] I'm interested in.

[1403] Maybe it's a Disney princess.

[1404] So then was open to dating both genders.

[1405] And then weirdly my partner now Ramona was only the second.

[1406] woman.

[1407] Are you guys engaged?

[1408] Yeah, we're engaged.

[1409] We did get engaged at Disneyland last Valentine's Day, which is very cliche.

[1410] Congratulations.

[1411] Congrats.

[1412] How cute.

[1413] Wait, this, a couple months ago or a year?

[1414] No, the year.

[1415] So the ending is from doing all that experimenting and journeying, I realized I am lovable and worthy of love and found an amazing partner.

[1416] Oh, this is the pattern.

[1417] Spoiler, the book has a happy ending.

[1418] Also, talk about a pattern of your life.

[1419] So it's like, you're shy as fun.

[1420] and then you just force yourself to meet five people, go do these acting classes that you don't want to do.

[1421] You feel awkward in love and you're just going to force it.

[1422] Like this is a very, for you, a tried and true approach to overcome things.

[1423] Now that you're saying it, I'm like, oh, yeah, I just set up these missions.

[1424] You're like a deep end person, like jump into the deep end.

[1425] Yeah, and just go for it and try to improve.

[1426] It's inspirational, though, and I do think people are reluctant to do that, and I do think it's the way to go.

[1427] Yeah, it's really admirable because it's so easy to just be like, eh, that's too hard.

[1428] Yeah, I could have had a nice life, I had great friends and not pushed myself in that way.

[1429] But that was almost the last thing that love and not intimate in a physical sense because that had happened, but being really intimate with somebody took over 40 years.

[1430] And you have a baby.

[1431] Yes, and now I have a gorgeous baby.

[1432] She's 16 months now.

[1433] From the egg freezing?

[1434] Yes.

[1435] So basically, I froze my eggs towards the end of 2020.

[1436] and I had to do it several times because I'm older.

[1437] I did it five times.

[1438] You get all the eggs in the basket and then they thore them out and then half of them disappear.

[1439] I know.

[1440] And then they try to fertilize the eggs and half of them.

[1441] What do you have in the bank, Monica?

[1442] Nine.

[1443] She's all uneasy about the nine.

[1444] They want 20.

[1445] I had 18 and then I have one successful pregnancy, which they don't really tell you that at first.

[1446] It depends on how old you are.

[1447] There's so many factors.

[1448] But yeah, that's good to know.

[1449] Yeah.

[1450] But luckily, I have my daughter.

[1451] daughter Royce, who is just the littlest, cutest, She just somehow turned out perfect.

[1452] She popped out, like, she's coming down a water slide.

[1453] I had a surrogate, so I wasn't...

[1454] Wasn't your water slide.

[1455] Yeah, so I was watching.

[1456] Getting ready to cut the umbilical cord and everything.

[1457] It is a miracle to me, but it was a mission as well, going in, doing all that stuff five times in any woman who's gone through it.

[1458] It's also a leap of faith like the other stuff is.

[1459] Yeah, it's emotional roller coaster.

[1460] Wow.

[1461] Yeah.

[1462] I am very impressed.

[1463] Because I have something called PCOS.

[1464] so my eggs, some of them weren't good quality.

[1465] The science of it is fascinating.

[1466] It is a good time to be doing that kind of thing because the advancements have come so far, even in the last five years.

[1467] This is my conclusion.

[1468] We have nine and ten -year -old girls, and for me to have finally elevated someone else's needs above my own has been the greatest experience of my life.

[1469] And it's very counterintuitive.

[1470] Do you have any tips for that?

[1471] Because I lived this life for so many years where it was just focused on me and my career and then now having a family, it's hard.

[1472] A big adjustment.

[1473] Yeah, it is hard.

[1474] It is a big adjustment.

[1475] I actually like myself infinitely more than I did before I was making two people ahead of me. For me, that's the gift.

[1476] As a self -centered addict, borderline narcissist person, I think the great gift is like, I actually care about two people much more than myself.

[1477] Yeah, and everyone in our business, you have to be egocentric to some level to survive.

[1478] Why would you think you would be the one in seven billion?

[1479] Yeah, so even last night, My baby was a bit sick.

[1480] We've flown from Australia.

[1481] She's vomiting.

[1482] And then I asked my partner, Ramona, can she sleep with the baby in the other side of the house?

[1483] Yeah.

[1484] Because I needed sleep to start the book press.

[1485] Yeah.

[1486] And then I'm like, oh, shit, am I like the most selfish person?

[1487] No. Because I'm still learning.

[1488] At least I feel a bit bad about it, about sending them to the other side of the house.

[1489] Because I am used to just living this solo life.

[1490] If you wanted a great night's sleep because you wanted to watch Netflix tomorrow, You got a problem.

[1491] But you have a job.

[1492] That is ultimately about the baby because you got to go out and sell this book.

[1493] No, you're good.

[1494] It is an adjustment.

[1495] Even if you're like, fuck, I just want to watch Netflix all day.

[1496] That's, I think, normal.

[1497] And I actually think the older you are.

[1498] I have friends who just had a baby.

[1499] And they're adjusting to this too, where it's like we're on the older side now of starting to have kids, you know, around 40.

[1500] And you've lived a long.

[1501] time without.

[1502] And so it's going to be a little bit of a harder adjustment.

[1503] It is a hard adjustment because we're like, oh, we got invited to the Beyonce concert, but oh, what do we do with the baby?

[1504] Right.

[1505] Things that are no -brainers normally.

[1506] And I think I've been a bit of a workaholic in my career.

[1507] And so now I've realizing, I want to say no to the jobs because I want to spend time with my baby who's gorgeous and I don't want to be working 24 -7.

[1508] And so I will make adjustments because I'm loving them so much and loving family time.

[1509] It's shocked to me that I would ever be like that in a way.

[1510] It's a good, positive change.

[1511] Yeah, and you're not sliding the needle all the way to selflessness.

[1512] Yeah.

[1513] It's like you're probably a selfish, indulgent piece of shit like me. And then you slide it like a halfway good person, and you can feel that.

[1514] My mom was like a martyr.

[1515] My mom sacrificed herself for us children and did everything for us, so didn't maybe follow her.

[1516] career like singing and playing guitar and stuff and never did that and so i want to be in the middle where i still get to have fulfillment in my job but then also am a good person and you will you will totally figure out that balance yeah it's hard though it is really hard i have to admit that one chapter that of course really interested me was this sasha baron cohen chapter do you know him yes he's always been very friendly to me i don't even know what the i don't know what you're talking about it's a fucking shocking so basically it was the worst professional experience I've had.

[1517] The movie was called Grimsby, I think, was its name in America.

[1518] And basically, Sasha was someone from a comedic perspective I idolized who I thought, oh my God, like hilarious.

[1519] I watched the L .E .G. show and a Borat movie, I just thought was so funny.

[1520] And he called me up one day and asked me to be in his movie.

[1521] I thought like I'd hit the jackpot.

[1522] Well, can I just add?

[1523] He did one thing Dicey before that, which is you were going to host MTV Movie Awards for the first time.

[1524] and your roommate had had a dinner party that he attended, and you were floating some of the monologue to all these comedians.

[1525] Yeah, they're like, yeah, get the jokes out and test it on us.

[1526] I'm like, okay.

[1527] Get my little palm card to have the jokes.

[1528] Dale Carnegie says, oh, he's, look, opportunity in the thing.

[1529] Yeah, and so I'm like, okay, and I start doing the jokes about the movies that year, and I can just seem not laughing.

[1530] And there were other comedians there, but they were being more friendly.

[1531] But Sasha was the one that I really idolized, and so I was like, just seeing if he would laugh.

[1532] And then I'd end my palm cards and he goes, you're in real serious trouble, but you have nothing.

[1533] Oh my gosh.

[1534] And he had hosted the MTV Movie Awards.

[1535] I was freaking out, which sent me on like a four -day panic spiral where I got other comedians to write some jokes for me. And I ended up doing them at UCB.

[1536] But doing the same jokes I'd stand it in front of Sasha, but then all these kids laughed.

[1537] And they killed.

[1538] Yeah.

[1539] So then I was like, why did he do that?

[1540] Because the jokes were good.

[1541] Because he was jealous.

[1542] Well, I don't know why.

[1543] And then I think it was maybe a year later when he asked me to be in his movie and to play his wife.

[1544] And I go, wow, this is awesome.

[1545] And it's going to film in South Africa.

[1546] I was like, oh, I'm being there.

[1547] Your old malaria.

[1548] Your old malaria stomping grounds.

[1549] I hope I don't get malaria again.

[1550] And take my pills this time.

[1551] And I went down and I was probably my heaviest at that point and dealing with things about my father.

[1552] And I noticed he kind of got off on just making people in general feel uncomfortable.

[1553] And then he would make me feel very uncomfortable.

[1554] by all sorts of comments.

[1555] Like you said, I should rent a boat in Cape Town and we should kiss publicly and then the paparazzi would take photos and then that could be a scandal that would help promote the film.

[1556] Oh boy.

[1557] And then kept saying that I have to go naked in the movie and I have to run across this soccer field and how hilarious it would be and that it'd be like a classic comedy.

[1558] If I did that and I just kept saying, no, no, no. Every interaction was something about this nudity.

[1559] And then we were shooting at this soccer stadium, a sequence, and I get called out of the trailer by an assistant, and he said, Sasha wants to talk to you, and I go into a room, you know, and there's dingy rooms in the bottom of stadiums.

[1560] And there was a mattress there on the floor, and he pulls down in his pants, but he had underwear still on, and his buddies were around.

[1561] They said, oh, this will be added bit for the movie.

[1562] Sasha said, I just need you to stick your finger up my ass.

[1563] Which sounds funny when I say, I know sometimes with my accent.

[1564] or whatever.

[1565] And obviously it's not for the movie.

[1566] There's no camera crew, the sound crew.

[1567] They're offered a different part of the stadium filming the actual movie.

[1568] So his buddies had iPhones and were filming the whole thing.

[1569] And I'm just horrified and was like, no, why would I do that?

[1570] I've never stuck my finger up somebody's ass.

[1571] So I was like, no, certainly not the guy who's my boss.

[1572] And I kept saying no, no, no. And then it felt like an eternity.

[1573] It probably wasn't.

[1574] I felt like I said no 300 times.

[1575] and he just, come on, just do it.

[1576] It would be hilarious.

[1577] It'll be so funny if you just did it.

[1578] And then eventually someone was looking for Sasha in the production and came and I feel rescued me from the situation because I wasn't physically trapped, but I felt trapped.

[1579] And then I went back to my trailer and called my agent who also happened to represent him.

[1580] Oh, this is where it's so does.

[1581] And so this was before me too had happened.

[1582] And they represented him and he was a bigger star.

[1583] And so said what happened.

[1584] And then it was this debate about what, I do?

[1585] Do I continue on and do the movie, which would be the professional thing to not quit a movie set?

[1586] Or do I leave?

[1587] And the agent said, well, you know, if something like this happens again, then you can leave.

[1588] So I stayed against all my instincts.

[1589] You put a broomstick up his ass.

[1590] That'll be the final.

[1591] Yeah, like if he does another thing.

[1592] If it gets worse, I'm going to get much worse.

[1593] And there were other things that I talk about in the chapter, just things that made me feel like humiliated or degraded on that set.

[1594] We ended up hiring them.

[1595] Like a stripper from Cape Town to do the nude bit and asked me to watch it.

[1596] What the fuck?

[1597] And then was like, see, she did it.

[1598] Look how good she is.

[1599] But he's literally sitting there laughing because her fat on her stomach and on her legs and on her boobs is jiggling up and down.

[1600] And for whatever reason, he found that hilarious.

[1601] This is rough.

[1602] And so it was just like.

[1603] I'm sorry.

[1604] It just made me. Yeah, what a fucking shitty experience.

[1605] Sometimes when you think about your self -worth, that really did a number on me because at that point I was hugely popular around that time and pitch perfect was a huge success and so I couldn't have more cachet as a comedy star.

[1606] But then this made me feel as a person.

[1607] I was just someone to be laughed at and it wasn't about the scene or the comedy.

[1608] It was personally humiliating.

[1609] And then I looked back at some of his work and I thought, is some of the other stuff jokes?

[1610] or is it really his opinion about women and especially overweight women?

[1611] And so I felt really bad.

[1612] At first you could try to rationalise it.

[1613] Like, again, it was before me too.

[1614] I go, oh, maybe I'm just not tough enough.

[1615] I can't keep up with the jokes.

[1616] And I remember there was this one movie, I think it was Emma Watson, and there was a whole thing when she left set because these boys were improvising gross jokes at her.

[1617] And it was a bit of a scandal about it.

[1618] And they said, oh, because she can't hang with the boys.

[1619] And I thought, oh, is that what they're going to say about me?

[1620] And I tried to laugh it off.

[1621] But then, I don't know, it just sunk in, I don't want to be around this person ever again, don't want to see their face.

[1622] And so I said, I'm not going to promote the film, which was the only leverage I had.

[1623] At that point, there's a bit more in the book about he asked me to do reshoots, which was a graphic sex scene with him.

[1624] Using, like, objects and the way it was written, it was disgusting.

[1625] I just can't have anything to do with him.

[1626] And then they threatened my career and said, there's only five movie studios in town and we can ruin your reputation in all of them.

[1627] And that went from, like, hurt to being threatened.

[1628] And I don't know what they did, because obviously I didn't promote the movie.

[1629] I'd not seen the finished film.

[1630] It's probably the only time in your life you've been really happy that a movie you were in shit.

[1631] Yeah, tanked.

[1632] Yeah.

[1633] So I kind of felt that was calmer enough.

[1634] It's not like I'm seeking some revenge.

[1635] Well, you're saying in the book, you don't want them to be canceled, but you also want the truth of your experience to be known.

[1636] Yeah, and it was a dilemma when Me Too came out, and I don't feel like a victim in a way people who have been assaulted have.

[1637] That was just the worst thing to.

[1638] have happened to me. And do you put that in the book or not?

[1639] And then I just felt like, well, there was more stuff.

[1640] The stuff that's in the book is just the stuff that can be verified.

[1641] For legal reasons, you have to do all that work because there's a lawyer I know about defamation.

[1642] And then I just thought, okay, put it in because hopefully other women and people who might feel like they're being taken advantage of or whatever, read it.

[1643] I would imagine if I were you, you might have some anger at yourself that you didn't make a bigger stink at the time, but I weirdly feel like this is how you heal from it as you go, but today I can still do something and this is how I am going to stand up for myself.

[1644] Yeah, I didn't stand up for myself apart from calling my agent and a lawyer.

[1645] I don't want to in any way imply this was your fault.

[1646] I'm just, I'm suggesting.

[1647] But I even went to London months later agreeing in the reshoots because logically I thought he's written this graphic sex scene, but I was told by my agent, you can go and have a meeting and the female producer is going to be there and you can tell him why you were so uncomfortable.

[1648] So just fly, just go to London, you know, and I never should have.

[1649] And so I am angry.

[1650] But this is the way you go, now I'm done.

[1651] This is the thing I can do today and I'm going to be brave enough today to do it.

[1652] And I'm not a confrontational person.

[1653] So I'm not out to start a fight with somebody.

[1654] There's been so many times in my life where I haven't said something.

[1655] And I just felt like this experience made me feel so bad that the only thing is to write it down is one of the chapters.

[1656] I guess that's maybe when I'm suggesting that this isn't necessarily to hurt him as much as heal you.

[1657] Yeah.

[1658] And because it made me feel so low self -worth.

[1659] And if you read the whole book, the journey is coming to self -love and self -worth.

[1660] And that was one of the things that really took me down quite a few knots.

[1661] Yeah, it's a big part of the story.

[1662] Despite having all these amazing things going on in my life, having that just make you feel like shit and make you feel like you're really ugly.

[1663] And like impostors, I'm not really this thing.

[1664] I think I am.

[1665] Yeah, and that being overweight is laughable.

[1666] And I guess it's my way of just putting out the story.

[1667] And obviously, I don't expect any cancellations or anything.

[1668] I don't really agree with that kind of stuff.

[1669] But I don't know.

[1670] It's sharing it because it does help me. Well, I'll tell you what you're going to get out of it.

[1671] It's the same as you saying I'm a virgin at 35, which she still feels like something.

[1672] But to all of us.

[1673] But everyone else outside of your own head is, A, not judgmental of that.

[1674] and then be many people relating deeply, feeling seeing, the same gift you gave to people when you were urging everyone to be body positive and representing.

[1675] And so this story, although a million people won't have been on a film set, they have been in this situation.

[1676] The situation is ever present.

[1677] And there's also all these categories of work that are boys clubs.

[1678] So comedy's always been a boys club.

[1679] And if you're admitted as a girl, there's this heartbreaking urge to just go along with anything because you've been invited.

[1680] You're one of the few people that have been invited in.

[1681] There's female engineers that are in the boys' club.

[1682] And when he's yelling, like, show your vagina, open up your legs on the couch when I'm doing this scene.

[1683] And do I do that?

[1684] Right.

[1685] He's telling me to do that because he thinks it was funny.

[1686] You question yourself.

[1687] And then I'd played characters like Fat Amy, which I had agency over.

[1688] But this was something different that I'd not come across.

[1689] And it felt like exploiting yourself.

[1690] That was a time where I did it and I should have quit.

[1691] And I go, Why did I not quit?

[1692] Because there's this enormous machine around you and you're a person.

[1693] And I'm also someone who holds my professionalism in high regards.

[1694] By the way, at this way, they know they have leverage over you.

[1695] We know you care about that.

[1696] Yeah, you know, I'm someone who comes to work on time and does my job and is proud of that.

[1697] And that really put me in a conflict.

[1698] Yeah.

[1699] But now I know better.

[1700] It'll help people.

[1701] And now you have a little baby.

[1702] I know.

[1703] I know.

[1704] I mean, I look at a sweet little face.

[1705] Oh.

[1706] I'm like, oh.

[1707] Well, Rebel, I've really enjoyed getting to meet you.

[1708] We've never met, which kind of is shocking to me. Unless we were at the same party at some point or something.

[1709] Sure you cross party pads.

[1710] I definitely watched punked.

[1711] You did.

[1712] Yeah, that was kind of an international show.

[1713] That was big in Australia.

[1714] And Monica, thank you for sharing that story because I have a lot of friends who are like, oh, yeah, I lost my virginity at 17.

[1715] It was so late and they tell me these stories.

[1716] And I'm like, oh, shit.

[1717] So I really appreciate you sharing that.

[1718] It's so much more common than you think.

[1719] And like I said, the only reason I know is because I talk about it on here and we talk about all kinds of crazy stuff because I kind of forget people are listening.

[1720] And then there's so many people are in all of these situations.

[1721] It's good for them.

[1722] It's good for me. It's good for you.

[1723] Like, it's good for everyone.

[1724] And if anyone's out there listening, I thought maybe there was something wrong with me. Turns out there was nothing wrong.

[1725] It was just a whole combination of factors and shyness.

[1726] The way your narrative went, your story went.

[1727] out great and I've had plenty of great sex since.

[1728] You're engaged and you have a baby.

[1729] We ended up at the exact same spot everyone.

[1730] Yeah, I know.

[1731] It was just like, I say I'm a late bloomer in the book.

[1732] Yeah, well, it's a beautiful book and it's very honest, and I really enjoyed reading it.

[1733] Rebel Rising, I hope everyone gets a non -printed out copy.

[1734] But really, such a pleasure talking to you, and I appreciate your honesty so much.

[1735] Thank you, Monica.

[1736] Oh, no, I loved it.

[1737] Okay, wonderful.

[1738] We'll come back and do it again.

[1739] Okay.

[1740] See you guys.

[1741] Stay tuned for the fact check so you can hear all the facts that were wrong.

[1742] Good morning.

[1743] Good morning.

[1744] Is this maybe the early, is this the earliest fact check we've ever done?

[1745] Fact check, maybe.

[1746] Fact check.

[1747] That's what I'm calling this a fact check.

[1748] This is a fact check.

[1749] I just brought my little mommy a cup of coffee.

[1750] That's nice.

[1751] Yeah.

[1752] Did she enjoy that?

[1753] I think so.

[1754] Her boyfriend brings her coffee every morning.

[1755] So I think, it's probably why she goes home so quick.

[1756] Yeah, I would.

[1757] I'd go home to my boyfriend who brings me coffee.

[1758] She said that she's going to move into my house and that it'll be the kitty cat club.

[1759] You know, we were walking by your house.

[1760] Sunday after everyone got two full one spaghetti dinner.

[1761] And we were walking by, and so we were like peeking at it.

[1762] We were getting excited for you.

[1763] Kristen said to Lincoln, are you going to go.

[1764] to come over here all the time and Lincoln's like yeah and I said poor Monica thinks she's getting a new house but she's really getting two children yeah I can't wait and that's what my mom said oh and I also invited myself for living her house you think you're getting this big glorious house and you really just have the now you have two children all the spillover from here yeah it's really that this house is just moving over to that house should be a swap yeah no I'm excited It's bigger.

[1765] Yours is going to be prettier.

[1766] Yours is going to be prettier, too.

[1767] Yours is going to really be something.

[1768] I was looking at it from the street.

[1769] I was picturing that backyard and everything.

[1770] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[1771] Yeah, it's going to be great.

[1772] Everyone's welcome.

[1773] The kids are obviously welcome, and your mom is obviously welcome anytime.

[1774] You know what's funny is it might be easier for me to house Nirmie and Ashok when they're here.

[1775] And you to house my mom.

[1776] And then we all get together and hang out.

[1777] That's not a bad idea.

[1778] But, you know.

[1779] Some space.

[1780] Yeah, it's so unfair.

[1781] What were we, you and I were just talking.

[1782] Oh, I was talking about that episode of Love on the Spectrum.

[1783] Yes, yes.

[1784] That everyone's just so mean to their moms.

[1785] They're so mean to their moms.

[1786] Like everyone, all of us, we're so mean to our mom.

[1787] And of all the people that don't deserve it, they really put in all the time.

[1788] I know.

[1789] It says something maybe about human nature.

[1790] Like, when you actually, like everyone wants unconditional love.

[1791] Then who wants to be a mom?

[1792] then it's like it's awful but you want unconditional love and then the person that gives it to you you just like take for grand you're super judgmental love i know like i actively in my head have to be like we're shooting the shit last night by the pool with the kids and she's talking and i have to like actively go she's she's just a wonderful nice person yes but it's so like i think maybe at the core of it for me is like you just see yourself in them.

[1793] You can't help it.

[1794] You just see yourself in them.

[1795] And it's like all the things you might beat yourself up for in bed that night.

[1796] Well, and more than you see yourself, because we do that and we, but even when you're therapist enough to stop yourself from doing that, you can't erase a lifetime of history with a person.

[1797] Right.

[1798] It's just impossible to see them.

[1799] Like maybe we get glimpses But for the most part It's impossible to just like live in a space Where your parent is just a person Yes Where your caretaker They're still in some ways Like that's There's like my parents are still The people that if It's like shit really hits the fan I'm gonna go live there again Of course I mean that's still an option on the table So Oh they deserve such good treatment But like And I didn't even Text back.

[1800] Oh, you got an unanswered text?

[1801] Well, we were, like, trying to plan...

[1802] A trip to India?

[1803] No, God, I would be responding to that.

[1804] Okay, I'd be all over that.

[1805] We're trying to...

[1806] You're gone for a week, so I'm trying to plan what I'm doing, which I think I really want to go to New York.

[1807] Of course.

[1808] But then we also might go visit my brother.

[1809] So I'm trying to figure this out.

[1810] I told my parents, like, oh, I'll figure this out this weekend, two weekends ago.

[1811] And then I did...

[1812] This past weekend, she was like, have you figured it out?

[1813] And I was like, yes, I'm opening up my computer to figure out right now.

[1814] I'll let you know in a bit.

[1815] And I did.

[1816] I opened it, but then Callie wanted to go get brunch.

[1817] Sure.

[1818] So then I left, and then I never responded.

[1819] And then the next day, she was like, we're booking it for this, which I was so glad.

[1820] Right.

[1821] It's like, yeah, can you just do it?

[1822] And then I was like, yeah, I can come to that.

[1823] I'll make that happen.

[1824] You're going to Phoenix?

[1825] Yeah.

[1826] Okay.

[1827] Just for a couple days.

[1828] Listen, I was introduced to this place while working for General Motors, and we got to go there like probably six times.

[1829] And Arizona was a huge destination for car shows because the desert proving grounds was out there.

[1830] So they had all the cars out there and everything.

[1831] So we were there a lot.

[1832] And the Biltmore Hotel, Robbie, will you look up and see if it's a four seasons?

[1833] I think it is.

[1834] It was designed by a student of Frank Lloyd Wright's.

[1835] And it is my favorite architecture of any building I've ever seen.

[1836] And it might be because I was young and I hadn't been.

[1837] around nice stuff yet, but I think it is as good as I...

[1838] Wow.

[1839] A Waldorf Astoria Resort.

[1840] Okay.

[1841] There's like, you know, there's botchy ball in the, and like, there's a lot of courtyards that are all surrounded in, and it's all stamped concrete with these really cool, very Frank Lloyd Wright concrete stuff.

[1842] Nice.

[1843] There's a water slide, it looks like.

[1844] There is?

[1845] Oh, my God.

[1846] Or does this picture?

[1847] I'm hoping that I run into Hermium Permium.

[1848] Doesn't he live there?

[1849] Well, he lives in Colorado, New Mexico, USA.

[1850] Arizona, USA.

[1851] Yeah, Colorado, Mexico, Arizona, USA.

[1852] They did add a crazy water slide.

[1853] Oh, they did.

[1854] Twist water slides.

[1855] Oh, you love water slides, Monica.

[1856] 65 -foot twist triple water slide.

[1857] Whoa.

[1858] Is it the kind of, is it a tube one?

[1859] Oh, I do like two ones, except that bad story we heard.

[1860] Right.

[1861] About that little boy.

[1862] Well, it's a tube, but you're not in a tube.

[1863] Right, like you lay in a body slide.

[1864] Oh, no, I'm not doing that.

[1865] Okay.

[1866] No, no, thank you.

[1867] But it's fancy.

[1868] I like the ones where you're in a inner tube.

[1869] This is June or this is tomorrow?

[1870] No, this is April.

[1871] April.

[1872] June or tomorrow?

[1873] April, New York, and April.

[1874] Oh, God.

[1875] So excited.

[1876] Be still my something heart.

[1877] I know.

[1878] What is it?

[1879] Beating.

[1880] Be still my beating heart?

[1881] I think.

[1882] I thought it was just be still my heart.

[1883] Yeah, I think it's just that.

[1884] I'll Be Still My Beating Heart Is a Sting song I'm thinking more about like Egg Ground Po or something Oh my God they have Easter at this place At the Biltmore Oh yeah This sounds like an ad This would be the best ad Because it was like I'm thinking about going someplace I'm like you know what place is great And then you would start reading about it And discovering it You're right Also they have Retail shops You know I love that And a spa Anyway All to say yeah I didn't respond They have a Lumal Nadi's out out there, which is a Chicago pizza place.

[1885] Oh, I was like, you mean our five Illuminati's?

[1886] John Batiz and David Sedaris.

[1887] I keep thinking of people who'd be great and then forgetting to write it down.

[1888] We're not great stewards of the Illuminati list.

[1889] I had a moment this morning where I had seen a really cute little boy and his father singing just the two of us.

[1890] Oh, at school?

[1891] No, on Instagram.

[1892] Oh.

[1893] And the boy looked like Calvin to me. Oh.

[1894] So I sent it to Rob, and I said, well, the little practice, this could be you and Cal. Wow.

[1895] And then after I said, I was like, you know, the boy's Asian, is Rob going to think I think?

[1896] Was it rude?

[1897] Well, the best, you know, tell us, tell Monica what happened.

[1898] Yeah, I played it for Calvin and Vincent.

[1899] They were sitting on the couch.

[1900] And Vincent just kept going, Cal, cow, cow, cow, and pointing at the little boys singing.

[1901] So he probably really looked like him.

[1902] He did a lot of the same mannerisms, too.

[1903] He was wearing jammies, I feel like Cal would wear.

[1904] Calvin always were shabby.

[1905] Everyone knows that about it.

[1906] So he said, Vinny, I thought so too.

[1907] And I said, great.

[1908] I've been absolved of all racism.

[1909] I mean, I think it'd be really sweet, Rob, if you did that.

[1910] But I think it's a little cuter if Vinny and Calvin learn how to sync that together.

[1911] Well, that would stop the world.

[1912] That would be another Jackson 2, Jackson 5 all over again.

[1913] Oh, yeah, that'd be great.

[1914] Well, we don't want.

[1915] Do you ever watch old videos of Jackson 5?

[1916] It's impossible how good of a singer he was as a little tiny.

[1917] He is a little infant up there.

[1918] It was before he got ruined.

[1919] It's sad.

[1920] He was so talented and like just a little boy.

[1921] It's crazy.

[1922] Yeah, God.

[1923] I just picture my children.

[1924] They're so young.

[1925] For them to have learned, like, you know all those dance routines, all the lyrics, he was hitting all the notes.

[1926] I mean, he was a little machine.

[1927] Do you think he might have been older than they were saying?

[1928] No. Okay.

[1929] I don't think so.

[1930] Like Emmanuel Lewis.

[1931] It's not that short guy?

[1932] Yeah.

[1933] Yeah, Webster.

[1934] Short guy.

[1935] That's one way to say it.

[1936] That actually feels, has more integrity than little people.

[1937] Exactly.

[1938] Short guy.

[1939] Because really, that's what's happening.

[1940] Short guy.

[1941] And a guy, I think.

[1942] Well, are we, we're not, do you want to say because it'll be out after?

[1943] What's that?

[1944] What you're doing today?

[1945] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[1946] Yeah, what are you doing today?

[1947] We're going to record Arimchair Anonymous after this.

[1948] And for that, Lincoln and I are getting in the car.

[1949] We're going to Anaheim, California, and we're going to stay at a hotel, and Charlie and Ace are meeting us.

[1950] And we're going to have fun, fun, fun tonight and have supper time.

[1951] Oh, nice.

[1952] What time do you think you'll get there?

[1953] Um, three, four.

[1954] What are you going to do in between four and dinner?

[1955] Um, those kids will probably want to go in the pool.

[1956] They have a pretty fun pool at the hotel.

[1957] Okay.

[1958] And then tomorrow, Disneyland all day.

[1959] And then you're staying that night, too?

[1960] No, coming home that night.

[1961] Coming home.

[1962] Yeah.

[1963] Wow.

[1964] She wanted to stay that second night and I had to be the bearer of bad news that we would be coming back.

[1965] Sure.

[1966] No one wants to leave Disneyland.

[1967] No, no, nope.

[1968] It's hard to leave.

[1969] No, but I was trying to explain to her what the commute would be like on Thursday morning versus Wednesday night.

[1970] Yeah.

[1971] Again, these aren't things that kids care about commute time, but I am.

[1972] I am such a dad in that way.

[1973] When we have to go somewhere, I'm like, guys, if enough, we leave in an hour, it's going to take us twice as long.

[1974] I have a real hard time.

[1975] The same activity could take twice as long.

[1976] I get it, especially when it's sitting in the car.

[1977] Oh.

[1978] Yeah, what are things like that, like the, when you become an adult, you all of a sudden care about things that you...

[1979] Well, you're running out of time is what's happening.

[1980] Oh, my God, it's true.

[1981] Well, time is the scarcest commodity.

[1982] It is.

[1983] That's what that's what's commonly said among rich people.

[1984] No. No, I think everyone thinks that.

[1985] No, I have noticed...

[1986] More people say it who have children, I don't think it has to do with being rich.

[1987] But if you're broke, no. The scarcity commodity is money.

[1988] Oh, well.

[1989] You know, like, money is more important in time because what are you going to, like, you want to want to live another hundred years starving.

[1990] So it is, it is a little bit of, you see a lot of, like, really successful people say that a lot.

[1991] But I would feel so stupid at one.

[1992] Well.

[1993] Let's talk about this.

[1994] This we can talk about on air.

[1995] So we're back.

[1996] We were, we were not proud of anything we were saying.

[1997] I am.

[1998] Well, you are, yeah.

[1999] I'm proud of my actions.

[2000] Yeah, you are.

[2001] But anyways.

[2002] You said something you regretted.

[2003] I did.

[2004] I saw something that was beneath me. But I think it's nice that you caught it or like you said it and then you were like, why did I say that?

[2005] That's good.

[2006] I think we need to be doing this more.

[2007] Okay.

[2008] Because, and we talked about this on Sinkt, it's getting so bonkers out there.

[2009] Everyone's just so upset with everyone.

[2010] Yeah, getting so much pleasure in other people's demise.

[2011] eyes.

[2012] Chardon Freud.

[2013] Yeah, it's like at an all -time high.

[2014] It's tasty.

[2015] What?

[2016] That brings me back to the book.

[2017] Is it getting annoying how much I'm talking about this intelligence book?

[2018] No. You've barely talked about it.

[2019] Oh, okay.

[2020] Yeah.

[2021] But they were going through the unique intelligence of primates and how it developed.

[2022] And first of all, what they noticed, the more members of a group that a primate has, the bigger their neocortex is.

[2023] So first they just saw, like, okay, well, there's this very obvious correlation between how smart they have to be and how many members of the group there are.

[2024] Interesting, okay.

[2025] And then they were studying, doing all these experiments, and they kind of accidentally discovered this, which is they would give, and they call this, not conscious of mind, I'm so mad, I just forgot this.

[2026] They give a low -ranking female hidden food.

[2027] Okay.

[2028] And the first time they give it to her, she shares it with the alpha.

[2029] And the alpha eats all of it and doesn't share any with her.

[2030] Oh, God, typical.

[2031] So the next time they give her this hidden food, she waits until the alpha turns and goes elsewhere.

[2032] And then she eats it.

[2033] But then the alpha realizes when he turns that she then goes and gets her hidden food.

[2034] How does he know that?

[2035] He smells a breath?

[2036] Because he like caught her, like maybe finishing the end of it.

[2037] Oh, she's so stupid.

[2038] So then she figured out if she walked away from the hidden food, the alpha would follow her over there.

[2039] And then when he got distracted, she'd come back to the hidden food, which he then figured out.

[2040] So then he figured out to walk the opposite way that she.

[2041] But what all of this demonstrates is they have the ability to understand what you.

[2042] your thinking and what your intentions are and that it's all this intelligence has sprung out of deep politicking that we are you know we have these varying levels of status but we are able to read other people's intentions and prepare for them and outmaneuver them yeah and it's all this macavelian shit so it's like when you realize that the very basis of the intelligence was either to deceive people or detect deception in some weird way you got to give us a little bit of a pass like that's what the name of the game is that's why we're even smart to begin with so it's like of course our default is deception and assuming deception and trying to read people's intentions like that's how it all started we're like trying to transcend it in a world of abundance yes where people don't really need to deceive one another well well Yeah, wow, that's bizarre.

[2043] But that's like a big signifier of a certain kind of intelligence that you can know what's going on in another animal's head.

[2044] I wonder if over 100 years, 200 years, if the neocortex will get bigger because of social media, because of the Internet, because now we know everyone.

[2045] Like now our circle, our social circle, the people that we're interacting with is.

[2046] unlimited well there's two really weird things happening though there is that like a unified culture of seven billion people which is very bizarre for us animals designed to live with 200 yeah i think corresponding with that at the same time is actually a more a tinier and tinier and tinier actual group of people that you interact with so i think as people's like online life has gotten bigger their immediate real life face -to -face real status really being at a birthday party where status shows itself or really being at a job and not at your work from home.

[2047] That's true.

[2048] In a weird way, this bizarre opposite thing's happening, which is we're actually becoming more solitary as we become more unicultural.

[2049] So I don't know what effect that all has.

[2050] I wonder.

[2051] Like mating will be the reward, right?

[2052] Like who's going to end up having the most children?

[2053] Except that whole raid is falling.

[2054] People aren't even trying to.

[2055] Well, there's like the last couple weeks.

[2056] have been like article after article about America's projections.

[2057] We've already plateaued, basically, and we're going to be on the decline.

[2058] It's pretty significant.

[2059] When I read the projections, it was like if we don't allow immigration, it had like four graphs in the New York Times or lines on a chart.

[2060] And one was like we have a really loose immigration policy.

[2061] And then basically we shut the borders.

[2062] If we were to shut the borders, I think our population was scheduled to fall to like 200 million by 20, some really near date that we would go from 330 million down to 200 million.

[2063] So we lost over a third of our population.

[2064] That's our GDP, all that stuff.

[2065] Yeah, and competing with countries that have young populations.

[2066] India.

[2067] That's right.

[2068] Paris brown skin.

[2069] Talking about my brown skin.

[2070] Leambridges.

[2071] Leambrich's.

[2072] Leambridge's song.

[2073] Oh, God.

[2074] Okay, anyway, so, yeah, you were.

[2075] saying intelligence deception yeah gossip like you were you had said something you regretted yeah and then and i think we need to check ourselves but of course of course we're going to have the thought it's okay to have the thought but then the second thought should be like oh man yeah that was not necessary or i don't really feel that way yeah why am i i mean just the middle like what hit me was like why would i take pleasure in that that's just not a good side of me yeah Yeah, I'm not proud of that side that would take pleasure in someone else.

[2076] But knowing that I'm not proud of that will stop you.

[2077] The comments and things like that.

[2078] Oh, the comments.

[2079] If you have that train of thinking where you have like a mean thought.

[2080] Yeah.

[2081] But then you think that I'm not proud of that thought.

[2082] That's not like the best side of me. Then you probably won't share it.

[2083] Have you ever written a nasty comment?

[2084] Never.

[2085] I mean, knock on wood.

[2086] but I no I don't I don't I don't I don't right I don't what you have pleasure from that right right I've never gone into a comment section and let it rip but on Twitter I was I was a little too active on Twitter where I would like disagree with people who you know posted stuff but that one I don't know why that one felt different was why I laughed I just, I am so easily ensnared.

[2087] Yeah.

[2088] I have to recognize my own limits.

[2089] Yeah, it's important.

[2090] A man's got to know his limitations.

[2091] Clint Eastwood.

[2092] Leon Bridges, liberal arts education, Holonic Studies.

[2093] Well, when we were off air, we also accidentally started talking about fashion shows.

[2094] Yes.

[2095] Okay, there we go.

[2096] And you very much want to go to one.

[2097] So bad.

[2098] I've had a few opportunities that I, but I haven't been able to make it.

[2099] to New York.

[2100] Now, when you imagine yourself sitting there, how do you imagine yourself feeling?

[2101] I am going to be self -conscious.

[2102] Okay, because I was going to say, I know how I'll feel.

[2103] I'll literally be thinking everyone in here is like, why is that guy in here?

[2104] He's got no fashion.

[2105] Well, no, they would be like, yeah, you're a famous person.

[2106] Famous people go to that.

[2107] Do they get a pass?

[2108] Yeah, I mean.

[2109] But what would I be wearing this?

[2110] No, no, no, no, no. It'd be even worse, though, if I try to look fashionable.

[2111] No, you can't, you're not allowed to go in your regular clothes.

[2112] Like, you would beforehand go to, like, if it was burberry.

[2113] Okay.

[2114] If it was the row, men's.

[2115] Let's keep it to burberry because I wear a little bit of burberry.

[2116] I know.

[2117] I just, I don't think they, I haven't.

[2118] Let's pretend they do it, though.

[2119] They do fashion shows.

[2120] Then you, they would either send you stuff or your stylist.

[2121] Okay.

[2122] I'd have to get a stylist.

[2123] And then they'd fit, you know, you'd wear burberry to the show.

[2124] You don't just, like, wear your jeans.

[2125] Oh, you can't wear your own clothes there.

[2126] No. Well, not if you're a famous person.

[2127] I don't, and everyone there is.

[2128] Well, can you be a famous person just go without being invited by them?

[2129] No, you have to be invited.

[2130] I see why you want to go so bad.

[2131] Yeah.

[2132] Of course.

[2133] It's such a badge of honor.

[2134] And I told you about the Roe show they had those pencils I bought.

[2135] The only thing I can relate to is private track days on the motorcycle track.

[2136] like Yamaha will have one.

[2137] You can't bring your Suzuki to that day.

[2138] Right.

[2139] It's disrespectful.

[2140] Of course.

[2141] Now, I have...

[2142] Oh, no. Well, I'll tell you what, because I had this bike built, right?

[2143] And you can't tell what it is.

[2144] Oh.

[2145] All it has is that it has the frame and the motor, but all that's been worked on.

[2146] And then all the visible stuff, the suspension and stuff is all aftermarket stuff.

[2147] And then it has a unique faring to it.

[2148] So you couldn't look at this bike and say it was a Kawasaki.

[2149] Oh.

[2150] But I have taken my race bike.

[2151] to a Yamaha event, but I've asked them.

[2152] Oh, you did.

[2153] I'm like, I don't feel good about this, but I would like to bring my new race bike.

[2154] And they're like, man, there's nothing on it, right?

[2155] But I guess that's the only thing in my life that I can relate to is, like, showing up to a Kawasaki track day with a Yamaha or vice versa.

[2156] Yeah.

[2157] It's a no -no.

[2158] You're biting the hand that's feeding you.

[2159] Yeah, you can't.

[2160] Well, also, I think...

[2161] It's disrespectful.

[2162] I think you can't.

[2163] I don't think they'll let you in if you come in.

[2164] What, a bunch of Tommy Hilfiger stuff with, like, the logos all over it.

[2165] Polo sweatshirt.

[2166] with like la costa oh no also that's how you pronounce it what do you say lecost is probably right do you know how to well this is go ahead no it's not even a fun game with you because you're not fashion okay but spell it l -o -e -we -we -do you know how that's pronounced L -O -E L -O -E W -E -W -E L -O -E W -E L -O -E -W -E the home improvement store yeah L -O -O -E Lowe's.

[2167] Lowe's?

[2168] Why, I had an ass.

[2169] Oh, my God.

[2170] Sorry, back to my mom.

[2171] Yeah.

[2172] She was telling a story about going to Whistlers.

[2173] Oh, and that time I was going to go skiing at Whistlers and I was up there.

[2174] As a mom, of all the things you pluralize, I don't know why that one seems in the most insane.

[2175] You don't like it.

[2176] Well, it's Whistler.

[2177] I know.

[2178] It's like Whistlers, there's like multiple mountains or something.

[2179] I don't.

[2180] But this is so you.

[2181] It's so something you do Also, we have the same cough I mean, listen to her cough all week And I'm like, my God, this is what it's like being around me I've fucking endlessly fucking chest congestion Poor gal Oh mom You know, she has to cough all the time And she's the only person I know that has to Well, weekly too We cannot be more than three feet from a box of Kleenex at any point Right Yeah, it's just drainage drainage I asked you that on the flight to India.

[2182] Where are your tissues?

[2183] I had some questions about your tissues.

[2184] Do you always keep some in your pocket at all times just in case?

[2185] I usually roll around town with two Kleenexes in my pocket.

[2186] Right.

[2187] But if I'm going to fly, I'm like, I'll have the napkin that the drink comes on.

[2188] And then I go into the toilet and grab a couple of those tissues.

[2189] They're the worst.

[2190] I want to whoever makes that decision, I want to like somehow torture them.

[2191] I want to give them a cold and I want to set them in a room.

[2192] with just those tissues and then like 12 hours in when they're all their nostrils are scabbed and bleeding I'm gonna say oh how does it feel now wow that's sadistic but anyways whistlers and Tommy Hilver oh louis Loels Loewavee yeah is that a German brand I think it's Spanish because how do we get a W into a V other than Spanish vener snitchel Volks I it's I it might not be Spanish, I don't know, but I think it is.

[2193] Now, what's weird about the V in German, you go Volkswagen, but they're already using a V at the beginning for Volks, but then they have W for Wagon.

[2194] We would say Volkswagen.

[2195] Yeah.

[2196] But they say Volkswagen.

[2197] Oh.

[2198] So it's like, you're already using the V in the right way.

[2199] Why wouldn't it be W at the top?

[2200] Oh, yes, W at the beginning and in the middle, or V and V, but mixing it up like that.

[2201] This is confusing, yeah.

[2202] It is from Madrid, speaking.

[2203] Okay, yeah.

[2204] Oh, okay.

[2205] I need to know this.

[2206] I hope I get invited to Lauevae show.

[2207] That's the one you want to go to?

[2208] No, I want to go to the row.

[2209] I want to go to the row, but it's so exclusive.

[2210] It is.

[2211] What is it?

[2212] Five people in the audience?

[2213] Well, at the last one, they said no cameras.

[2214] Right.

[2215] Pencils only.

[2216] Pencils that they provided.

[2217] And I can tell them I'll bring my own pencil.

[2218] I bought some.

[2219] Yeah, you got your own pencils.

[2220] When I was doing my makeup videos, when I was in a wrap.

[2221] The guy who I was mainly watching, his name's Hung Van Gogh.

[2222] He's Asian.

[2223] He's amazing.

[2224] Like, he did Jennifer Lawrence for the Oscars and everyone, because I'm talking about how pretty she won't.

[2225] Okay.

[2226] He does really, he has big clients.

[2227] You are so girly.

[2228] And I really like it.

[2229] It's really fun.

[2230] Vietnamese.

[2231] Oh, Vietnamese.

[2232] He has a very strong accent.

[2233] He's from Vietnam.

[2234] Yeah.

[2235] He's not American.

[2236] Right.

[2237] And he has a very strong accent.

[2238] And I always feel, it's like, it makes, it breaks my heart a little.

[2239] because he's always like, I know people can't understand me. That's, yeah, that's sad.

[2240] Yeah.

[2241] But my mom's not from Vietnam.

[2242] My mom's from Michigan.

[2243] I'm not talking about that.

[2244] I'm totally pivoted.

[2245] He says pencil like that.

[2246] Oh, interesting.

[2247] And then it made me wonder, was that woman Asian?

[2248] Oh, no. She was shemen?

[2249] That's definitely European.

[2250] Anyway, so it drives you nuts about the plural, but even though you like to plural things.

[2251] I think I, when I do it, I think I'm doing it intentionally, to be funny.

[2252] Back to intentions.

[2253] If you were a monkey, you'd be able to figure this out.

[2254] Yeah.

[2255] Like, what's one do you think I pluralize that I don't mean to?

[2256] Like, I'll say O 'Reilly's, but that's to be funny because Aaron really thought it was O 'Reilly's.

[2257] And that's a Michigan thing.

[2258] I guess that's true.

[2259] I don't know any.

[2260] And I mispronounce words.

[2261] Right.

[2262] A lot.

[2263] But the pluralizing, I don't know.

[2264] Yeah.

[2265] The primary, she still thinks my favorite teacher was Mr. Woods.

[2266] Oh, and it was Wood.

[2267] Yeah, Mr. Wood.

[2268] Yeah.

[2269] But she almost has confused me. Like, a lot of times I think his name is Mr. Woods.

[2270] I actually have to remember.

[2271] No, that's what my mom calls me. But, okay, your inclination is to call him Seth Meyer.

[2272] I've heard you say that a few times.

[2273] Oh, I actually take the ass off.

[2274] Yeah.

[2275] Interesting.

[2276] I think maybe because I'm hypervigilant.

[2277] I'm not putting S's on things.

[2278] Oh, God.

[2279] This is a lot to juggle.

[2280] Okay, we haven't done any fact that we have five minutes.

[2281] There aren't that many.

[2282] She brought us Tim Tams that were so delicious.

[2283] I haven't gotten to have them, but I did find out their gluten -free versions.

[2284] So I, I know, but.

[2285] You're nervous.

[2286] Yeah, because she brought them from Australia, and she said, you know, these aren't like the kinds from Gelson.

[2287] These are better.

[2288] And they are.

[2289] What if I were to order them from Australia and have them mail?

[2290] Okay, well, we'll see.

[2291] They are so good.

[2292] But I did look up, because, you know, everyone loves English chocolate.

[2293] And David always brags about New Zealand chocolate being so much better.

[2294] And I was like, what's the difference?

[2295] Just the dairy's different?

[2296] A British chocolate typically contains more cocoa solids.

[2297] Oh, okay.

[2298] Which contributes to a richer chocolate flavor.

[2299] So I'm wrong.

[2300] I would have thought that the dairy itself was creamier.

[2301] Yeah, I think we thought maybe it was the milk, but it's about.

[2302] The cocoa solids.

[2303] Oh, wow.

[2304] Anyway, they're incredible.

[2305] Mm. And I, I recommend.

[2306] Was Russell Crow and Rocky Horror pitch a show?

[2307] Yeah.

[2308] Early days.

[2309] Wait, the original...

[2310] No, he's not old enough to be in the original, is he?

[2311] Well, 24 -year -old Russell Crow struts his stuff in Rocky Horror.

[2312] Oh, so it was, like, probably a production of it.

[2313] 1988 Australian production.

[2314] There we go.

[2315] So that's not a ridge.

[2316] That's not the original Rocky Horror.

[2317] Picture show.

[2318] Oh, yeah.

[2319] Year of my birth, year of Microsoft, year of the 9 -11 turbo.

[2320] What a year.

[2321] That's a big year.

[2322] Yeah.

[2323] Are you allowed to pack fireworks in your suitcase?

[2324] No. No. No, no, no. No way.

[2325] That's a big no -no.

[2326] Check or carry -on.

[2327] It shouldn't be on an airplane.

[2328] Have you ever seen any footage of when firework factories go up?

[2329] No. There's some epic ones.

[2330] It's everything you would expect.

[2331] Oh.

[2332] It's like the most incendiary, humongous, but colors everywhere pops, bangs.

[2333] I mean, it's...

[2334] God, that sounds kind of pretty.

[2335] Yeah, if you're at a safe distance.

[2336] That's a problem.

[2337] It's always hard to know what is a safe distance when those things are popping off, as I demonstrated it on New Year's two years ago.

[2338] That's right.

[2339] Okay, malaria, because she had malaria.

[2340] Yeah.

[2341] Timely that she had, like...

[2342] I guess we're out of the window.

[2343] Yeah, I finished.

[2344] I took all.

[2345] my pills appropriately you're supposed to take them seven days after we've been home from Austin for 17 days and we had been home four days before that yeah so 21 three weeks I would have gotten it by now okay yeah you stopped taking that I got bored of it really I know okay I cannot I cannot every time I took one those rest of those days yeah I was like why can't he just keep you already took it for so long I know two full weeks and you took it for the annoying time to take it.

[2346] Yeah, I know.

[2347] I think it was because we finished the trip in Delhi.

[2348] Yeah.

[2349] And there wasn't mosquitoes like there had been in Hyderabad.

[2350] I know.

[2351] It's just like this, this harkens back to our character.

[2352] You're right.

[2353] And we did it.

[2354] You did it.

[2355] I know.

[2356] But I've done this too with antibiotics.

[2357] You know how they say like finish your pack of antibiotics.

[2358] You don't finish?

[2359] There have been times I haven't.

[2360] I know.

[2361] I'm sorry.

[2362] It's not recommended.

[2363] I hope no one looks up to me and emulates this behavior.

[2364] But you're right.

[2365] I did it for whatever, 12 days or something.

[2366] Why not just do the next four?

[2367] Exactly.

[2368] But I just decided, I have this same weird thing.

[2369] I can admit it's completely illogical, but like I won't take a statin.

[2370] I don't know why.

[2371] Like I've been prescribed to statin for my cholesterol.

[2372] It's just a dumb little pill.

[2373] I take a bunch of other little pills in the morning.

[2374] Yeah.

[2375] And you just don't take it.

[2376] I don't have a good explanation other than I just, I'm not going to do it.

[2377] It's so stubborn.

[2378] I mean, the statin, I get a little bit.

[2379] That's adding a new thing into the mix.

[2380] This is not.

[2381] This is just not seeing something through.

[2382] Yeah, you're right.

[2383] I cannot relate.

[2384] Yeah.

[2385] You know, it's like I got the C. I know I'm going to pass and I just quit.

[2386] And then you, you went all the way for that A plus.

[2387] You got a big fat A plus.

[2388] But look, this is a difference between Suma and Magna.

[2389] We've known this, we've known this has existed for a lot.

[2390] I got a measly three, seven.

[2391] It's just, I think it's like one of the questions, like the five fingers.

[2392] Are you the type of person if you are on malaria pills for 12 days and you get home?

[2393] And there's only four more days left.

[2394] And you're supposed to finish them all.

[2395] Do you or don't you?

[2396] Yeah.

[2397] I don't.

[2398] I don't.

[2399] I'm acknowledging it's stupid.

[2400] That's all I can give you.

[2401] I know.

[2402] I just find it interesting and funny.

[2403] I know.

[2404] Well, do you have a theory?

[2405] I don't really even have a theory.

[2406] I think, yes.

[2407] I just like I didn't want to think about it again.

[2408] My theory is.

[2409] I'm done.

[2410] We're going to South by.

[2411] I got to prepare for Connor McGregor.

[2412] Yeah.

[2413] There's a few things I think.

[2414] One is you're a bit more reckless with your body than I am.

[2415] Uh -huh, sure.

[2416] Also, as soon as you think something doesn't matter.

[2417] Uh -huh.

[2418] Oh, yeah.

[2419] You won't arbitrarily do anything.

[2420] And that's really, you're really getting close here.

[2421] Yeah, that's a bullseye.

[2422] Because to you, you're just like, at this point, it's arbitrary.

[2423] The second I think something's arbitrary, something is arbitrary.

[2424] Yeah.

[2425] I can't do it.

[2426] Even if it costs me nothing.

[2427] I know.

[2428] I know.

[2429] It's really fascinating.

[2430] It's shameful.

[2431] Yes.

[2432] Well, you watched it on the airplane, the shades up and down.

[2433] I know.

[2434] Sometimes it's required and sometimes it's forbidden.

[2435] And I just go, well, then the whole thing's bullshit.

[2436] And you don't like it.

[2437] And I won't participate anymore.

[2438] Because it's, it's busy work.

[2439] It's like, it's just busy work.

[2440] And I, I, I'm fine.

[2441] No one likes it, but it's like, you just fucking do it.

[2442] Yeah, you just do it.

[2443] This is life.

[2444] You do busy work.

[2445] You lift the shades when they say or close them.

[2446] You finish your malaria pills.

[2447] It's the right way to live.

[2448] Yeah, it is the right way to do things.

[2449] I feel like, Rob, you're more like me. Like, you'd probably finish them, right?

[2450] Yeah, absolutely.

[2451] Yes, absolutely.

[2452] He's like, can I have more?

[2453] You're not too.

[2454] When I take it for the rest of my life?

[2455] I took them just because I was around you guys.

[2456] Oh, boy.

[2457] All right, well, we are late for our next event.

[2458] Great.

[2459] Was there only Tim Tams?

[2460] No, malaria.

[2461] Russell Crow.

[2462] Oh, right.

[2463] Fireworks.

[2464] Oh, yeah, that's great.

[2465] That's a full boat.

[2466] Yeah.

[2467] That was it.

[2468] Well, if you had one more, that'd be a full boat.

[2469] Well, I mean, I guess it's important to say.

[2470] Is it important to say?

[2471] I don't know.

[2472] Obviously, when we have people on this show and they're telling their story, that's their truth so like you know this one in particular involves other people oh right right yeah so i don't know what to say about well i think i could go further than that maybe if this is even more doing but on some level for us we have to defer to a publisher like a publisher as lawyers they've vetted things like to print things and to you know open themselves up to be liable is why people are so worried about the trustworthiness of the news eroding.

[2473] It's like we need trusted sources.

[2474] Yeah.

[2475] And so in this case, I guess I defer to that.

[2476] Me too.

[2477] Like I think if maybe I was talking to someone they said something that was really quite damaging to someone else and there was no real proof of that and there had been no vetting.

[2478] I would have to evaluate that.

[2479] I don't think I'd be, I wouldn't want to participate in someone just bringing someone down without some sense that there was some proof, I guess.

[2480] Yeah.

[2481] But this, I'm just going to say, to me, it was all about the publishers.

[2482] Like, I read it in the book that has been vetted and has been opened up to liability.

[2483] And I guess I'm going to trust them.

[2484] Yeah.

[2485] All right.

[2486] Well, that's that.

[2487] Love you.

[2488] Bye.

[2489] I love you.

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