S2 E4: Life Isn't Always Fair

[0] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to something was wrong early and ad -free right now.

[1] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[2] I'm Dan Tversky.

[3] In 2011, something strange began to happen at a high school in upstate New York.

[4] A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms, and spreading fast.

[5] What's the answer?

[6] And what do you do if they tell you it's all in your head?

[7] Hysterical.

[8] A new podcast from Wondry and Pineapple Street Studios.

[9] Binge all episodes of hysterical early and ad -free on Wondery Plus.

[10] This podcast is intended for mature audiences and could be triggering to some.

[11] Please use discretion when listening.

[12] Dr. Lisa M. Hooper and her team at the University of Iowa Research Lab defined parentification as a type of role reversal and boundary distortion in which children or adolescents assume developmentally inappropriate levels of responsibility in their family.

[13] In the parentification phenomenon, the overarching role of the parentified youth can be described as that of caregiver, caring for others at the expense of caring for self.

[14] It is often clinically observed and empirically examined along two dimensions.

[15] Instrumental and emotional parentification.

[16] Instrumental parentification primarily involves completing physical tasks for the family, such as taking care of relatives with serious medical conditions, grocery shopping, paying bills or ensuring that a younger sibling attends and does well in school.

[17] Emotional parentification often involves a child or adolescent taking on the role and responsibilities of confidant, secret keeper, or emotional healer for family members.

[18] Parentification is often observed in families where the parent or caregiver has experienced a serious medical condition or mental health disorder.

[19] Parental substance use and abuse are also common in families where parental exists.

[20] I'm Tiffany Reese, and this is, something was wrong.

[21] You think you know me, you don't know me well at home.

[22] The American Cancer Society reports that approximately one in five children have serious emotional symptoms a year or more after a parent's death.

[23] A 2011 study showed that two months after losing a parent, one and four children were depressed.

[24] If the parent has a long and difficult battle with cancer, the child may have started grieving before the actual death.

[25] Sometimes, emotional symptoms can become more severe and interfere with the child or the family's life.

[26] Having cancer is hard, and it affects the person with cancer in each family member or loved one socially and emotionally.

[27] This is known as the psychosocial effect of having cancer.

[28] Just as there are cancer treatment teams and surgical teams, there are also teams of experts each with different focus on mental or social health who understand how cancer affects a family.

[29] A psychosocial team can offer the patient and the family support during this difficult time.

[30] Psychosocial support can include mental health counseling, education, spiritual support, group support, and many other such services.

[31] Sylvia's daughter was put into therapy by her grandmother to help her process the illness and possible death of her mother.

[32] During her time in art therapy, Sylvia's daughter and her therapist made a video pretending to have a talk show where she answered the questions of other children whose parents have cancer.

[33] So the daughter, I noticed that she doesn't look healthy.

[34] Like, her hair is very thin and not healthy.

[35] If you've ever seen a blonde person who is not healthy.

[36] Their hair has a straw -like quality, or even a brunette, so their hair would be very straw -like.

[37] Her hair was very thin, very, very thin for a child.

[38] It had no luster.

[39] It had no shine.

[40] I did not think she was nutritionally very fed very well, and it kind of showed.

[41] The boy still wasn't talking very much.

[42] He could talk.

[43] He could communicate, but he was a did not talk often, but his sickness kind of went away.

[44] I do not remember her cooking for the children very much.

[45] And I did not cook nutritionally great meals for them because it would be like mac and cheese or something quick because I had to come cook for my family.

[46] There was always food in the kitchen.

[47] I believe that the children were feeding themselves a lot.

[48] I believe that the daughter took on an adult role.

[49] I believe she was a very old soul type of child anyway.

[50] I was concerned for the children.

[51] At this point, they're going to do the house swapping in.

[52] I want you to think about how many moves that is, though.

[53] Five or six already?

[54] Yeah.

[55] I was supposed to move in with her at the house where Sylvia attempted suicide.

[56] The moving day came.

[57] I packed all my stuff in the car.

[58] and like I could not get a hold of her for anything.

[59] I didn't know what else to do.

[60] I just turned around and went back home and I think it was a couple days later that she finally got a hold of me. I was like, uh, yeah, what's up?

[61] And she said she was either going to be forced to buy her home or move and that she was just really stressed out and kind of shut down and then didn't get a hold of me. And then I think it was like a few months after that when we finally wound up moving in together.

[62] You met Jen earlier this season.

[63] She was a co -worker of both T and Sylvia.

[64] After Jason and Sylvia separated, Jen became roommates with Sylvia and her two children in Citrus Heights, California.

[65] She had told us that the cancer had spread to her back.

[66] So, you know, we would see her trying to do things like lift heavy bags of dog food and like, oh, no, you know, we did everything from bathing her dogs.

[67] We wouldn't let her carry anything heavy.

[68] I was a really clean person and I loved to clean so I always made sure the house was picked up and vacuumed and if she had her sheet, her bed sheets and blankets and the dryer, I would take them and put them on her bed for her and wash the dishes and make meals for everyone.

[69] The kids loved it when I cooked for them and colored with them and helped them with their homework and played like video games.

[70] like they just like sucked up that attention and I think that they felt special you know to get some solid attention like that they were really really close together and I think they kind of leaned on each other for support because their mom wasn't always there for them mentally she was a nurse at the prison in Sacramento it was weird because she would have these printed out like work schedules that she would put on the refrigerator and then like on the days and time she was supposed to be at work like she would never be there she was always at home it was just so bizarre and it was just like a schedule like she could have made and printed out herself i don't know if she really worked at the prison or not i don't know if that was you know another story she made up or if she really worked there i don't know but she came home one day and was like i was at work working in one of the other nurses came up to me and told me that she knew who Jason was and that they had a relationship together.

[71] And I was like, what the?

[72] Like how?

[73] That's so bizarre.

[74] One time she said her Boston got hit by a car and passed away, but like she never brought it into the hospital for body care or anything.

[75] The really weird one was she had this cat named Boomer.

[76] And he was this really beautiful, friendly, long -haired orange cat and she brought him in one day and he was like just a sack of bones and all of his skin and fur was missing from his back.

[77] She like had said something like he had been locked in an attic and nobody knew and they just found him.

[78] It looked like he had been burned.

[79] But once the cat got at the hospital and was receiving regular care, he made a full recovery.

[80] I mean, she said she was a registered nurse, but I think there's some thought she wasn't quite a registered nurse.

[81] She was like an LVN, but she was a nanny.

[82] It wasn't very long.

[83] I want to say it was like a month or maybe two at the most for this baby that was really sick.

[84] And had some kind of condition where like her skin would sluff off.

[85] So she did bring the baby in one day and the baby was wrapped from like head to toe and like ace bandages.

[86] So she would tell friends of ours that I was an awful roommate.

[87] I didn't pitch in.

[88] I was gone for like weeks at a time, which was not true.

[89] My boyfriend lived out of town at the time about an hour away.

[90] So I would go stay the night there sometimes.

[91] But I think that she just got so used to me helping so much and like relying on that, that when I wasn't there to do those things, like, you know, she got upset.

[92] I mean, my feelings were just really hurt.

[93] Like, I'm like, here I am, you know, putting in all this time and effort.

[94] And for her to go behind my back and, you know, tell our close friends that stuff that's not true, I just, I was really hurt by that.

[95] She struck him with her motor vehicle.

[96] She had been under the influence and then she left him there.

[97] In January 2022, local woman Karen Reid was implicated in the mysterious death of her boyfriend, Boston police officer John O 'Keefe.

[98] It was alleged that after an innocent night out for drinks with friends, Karen and John got into a lover's quarrel en route to the next location.

[99] What happens next?

[100] Depends on who you ask.

[101] Was it a crime of passion?

[102] If you believe the prosecution, it's because the evidence was so compelling.

[103] This was clearly an intentional act.

[104] and his cause of death was blunt force trauma with hypothermia.

[105] Or a corrupt police cover -up.

[106] If you believe the defense theory, however, this was all a cover -up to prevent one of their own from going down.

[107] Everyone had an opinion.

[108] And after the 10 -week trial, the jury could not come to a unanimous decision.

[109] To end in a mistrial, it's just a confirmation of just how complicated this case is.

[110] Law and crime presents the most in -depth analysis to date.

[111] of the sensational case in Karen.

[112] You can listen to Karen exclusively with Wondry Plus.

[113] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify.

[114] I'm Dan Tibersky.

[115] In 2011, something strange began to happen at the high school in Leroy, New York.

[116] I was like at my locker and she came up to me and she was like stuttering super bad.

[117] I'm like, stop fucking around.

[118] She's like, I can't.

[119] A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms and spreading fast.

[120] It's like doubling and tripling and it's all these girls.

[121] With a diagnosis, the state tried to keep on the download.

[122] Everybody thought I was holding something back.

[123] Well, you were holding something back.

[124] Intentionally.

[125] Yeah, well, yeah.

[126] No, it's hysteria.

[127] It's all in your head.

[128] It's not physical.

[129] Oh, my gosh, you're exaggerating.

[130] Is this the largest mass hysteria since the Witches of Salem?

[131] Or is it something else entirely?

[132] Something's wrong here.

[133] Something's not right.

[134] Leroy was the new dateline and everyone was trying to solve the murder.

[135] A new limited series from Wondery and Pineapple Street Studios.

[136] Hysterical.

[137] Follow Hysterical on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[138] You can binge all episodes of hysterical early and add free right now by joining Wondry Plus.

[139] She bred bulldogs and had bulldog puppies pretty often.

[140] So she wouldn't be there and I would be there alone and she would call me up and be like, oh, hey, Jason's going to come over and hang out with the puppies.

[141] And I would just think, well, okay, but that's really weird.

[142] you know because he was like abusive and cheated on you and now he's like coming over to the house to hang out with the dogs it was just so bizarre any interaction I had with him was always great he was really nice and cordial and friendly and we didn't really have conversations about her childhood but she would always say like you know her mom and dad were like horrible people and they weren't there for her when she was growing up and that's all that I really really knew.

[143] After I moved out, Sylvia got a lot sicker.

[144] She was in a wheelchair, she wasn't really able to function, wearing diapers in bed, and needed help getting up and physically going to the bathroom.

[145] So even after I moved out, I would take shifts there, still doing laundry, cleaning, making sure they had food, things like that.

[146] I never, ever saw her physically ill. I never saw her throw up.

[147] In that house, she got additional sicknesses.

[148] So she became, she said the cancer had spread to her brain.

[149] She said she was going to Stanford for surgery.

[150] She told me that she had reached out to Jason, that she was really lonely and she missed her best friend and that maybe they couldn't be married, but maybe they could still be friends.

[151] And did I, was I mad at her for that?

[152] And I said, no, you know, you, I understand.

[153] being alone and that being your safety person.

[154] And in retrospect, I don't know if she was stringing him along.

[155] I don't know if they ever stopped talking.

[156] I don't know what he was told.

[157] I don't know quite what that relationship was.

[158] I would imagine guessing they were hooking up.

[159] I'm not sure.

[160] She told me that Jason took her to Stanford.

[161] So I go after work to check on her when she's home.

[162] So she was gone for like a day.

[163] I go to check on her.

[164] She was in bed.

[165] Her back of her head was shaved, completely shaved, and there was a one and a half inch, one inch incision that was stitched up and looked like an incision.

[166] It looked, it was stitched up properly.

[167] I felt horrific for her.

[168] She had to have brain surgery.

[169] The cancer has spread.

[170] I can remember she had beside her bed this.

[171] spaghetti strainer, like the plastic spaghetti strainers, the big ones, and it was full of pill bottles, like all different kinds of medications.

[172] And like, she would have a timer that would go up and like it's time to take the pill.

[173] And she would just be taking like handfuls of medications and pills and such.

[174] She didn't get out of bed a whole lot.

[175] Her mom came for a visit and I communicating with her mom, you know, on and off while her mom is here.

[176] She told me that she was seizures.

[177] I remember her mom going, I need to get marijuana.

[178] Like, she's so sick from this chemo drug, we need to get her marijuana.

[179] And I went on my way to work to check on her.

[180] And she was in, in the bedroom.

[181] And her mom was having a business meeting via the computer.

[182] So I just went in there and I was sitting with her and talking with her and just like, I feel so terrible.

[183] Like, I just can't do this anymore.

[184] And then all of a sudden, she has a freaking seizure.

[185] And it's a grand mal.

[186] I mean, the full arching of the body, the mouth, the everything.

[187] And I call her mom in, and her mom's like, just roll her on her side, this is what we've been doing.

[188] And she comes out of it.

[189] And her mom goes back in the living room.

[190] And I'm sitting there with her.

[191] And she gets up and starts to get out of bed and walk in the kitchen.

[192] I go, what are you doing?

[193] She goes, I need some bread pudding.

[194] And I go, you just had to see you.

[195] She'll say, why?

[196] I go, you just had a seizure, a full seizure.

[197] Like, and she's like, oh, I didn't know.

[198] And I'm like, yeah, you need to get back in bed.

[199] I'll use some bread pudding or, you know, whatever.

[200] But it was just clearly no recognition of having a seizure, no, didn't even know that she had had a seizure, which I actually have come to find out.

[201] Now, that's pretty common.

[202] Like, you don't even know you have a seizure.

[203] You think you passed out, but no, you had a seizure.

[204] As I was leaving to go to work, I stopped and I talked to her mom, and her mom's like, have you looked at those medications that she's been taking?

[205] And I said, to be honest with you now, I mean, I see the giant colander full of medications.

[206] And she goes, yeah, I was looking at them the other day is trying to figure out what, you know, is going on.

[207] And I noticed there were a bunch of psych meds.

[208] And I was like, hmm, like I never, I didn't look at them.

[209] And she goes, do you know who this doctor is?

[210] And she said the doctor's name.

[211] And I said, no. And she goes, well, he's a psychiatrist.

[212] And there's all these different men.

[213] And she goes, and there's all these different men.

[214] And she goes, and there's different meds from different psychiatrists.

[215] So I'm kind of confused.

[216] Like, I mean, I understand she's depressed, you know, but I'm just kind of confused.

[217] And I go, I don't know, I just ask her to call the doctor and have them go over all the meds with you.

[218] It's probably a good idea.

[219] She was like, okay.

[220] And so at this point, the mom has to go back home, go back to Canada and work.

[221] So I make a big, giant poster board chart.

[222] And it has, who's bringing dinner this day?

[223] Who's coming to check after work this day?

[224] people who owned the house that were renting her the house they lived in the house next door they started helping out so it was a married couple and they had two adult children and the adult daughter was helping out here's where it all goes terribly terribly crazy wrong next time Something Was Wrong is written, recorded, edited, and produced by me, Tiffany Reese.

[225] All of the music by Gladrags, hear their album Wonder Under on iTunes.

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[228] The books referenced on this show can be found linked in the show notes.

[229] If you or someone you know is being abused, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1 -800 -799 -safe.

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[233] No, don't do that.

[234] Yeah, just like everyone you know.

[235] That'll be cool.

[236] Thank you.

[237] Thank you.

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[241] Scammers are best known for living the high life until, they're forced to trade it all in for handcuffs and an orange jumpsuit once they're finally caught.

[242] I'm Sachi Cole.

[243] And I'm Sarah Haggy.

[244] And we're the host of scam influencers, a weekly podcast from Wondery that takes you along the twists and turns of some of the most infamous scams of all time, the impact on victims and what's left once the facade falls away.

[245] We've covered stories like a Shark Tank certified entrepreneur who left the show with an investment, but soon faced mounting bills, an active lawsuit followed by Larry King, and no real product to push.

[246] He then began to prey on vulnerable women instead, selling the idea of a future together while stealing from them behind their backs.

[247] To the infamous scams of Real Housewives stars like Teresa Judice, what should have proven to be a major downfall only seemed to solidify her place in the Real Housewives Hall of Fame.

[248] Follow Scamfluencers on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts.

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