#1281 - Tom Papa

[0] And we're live, Tompapa.

[1] Joe Rogan.

[2] Good to see you, buddy.

[3] Good to see you.

[4] Crack and lacin.

[5] I know, not too much.

[6] Cruising around.

[7] We're talking about old bodies falling apart.

[8] Yeah.

[9] I got a stem cell shot in my shoulder that's killing me right now.

[10] Yeah, I can tell.

[11] You're in paint.

[12] One shot?

[13] Well, I got several in both shoulders.

[14] And this is not like anything like that's like a series.

[15] injury but it's there been annoying me lately so I said fuck it let me just go in there every time I've done it it's made them feel better right how often do you have to go I've been doing it like once every six months right yeah that's what I have been doing and then it kind of is okay for a while yeah right and once every six months seems to keep me in but it's expensive so is it not is not curing whatever it's it's healing it but then I'm being a moron right and going back to working out hard right but we were just saying is that soft tissue yeah heals like this is a soft tissue issue.

[16] Soft tissue is one of the best things for things like stem cell therapy because you can actually regenerate tissue.

[17] Right.

[18] And it can heal things.

[19] Where it gets a real problem, my friend Miriam Nakamoto, she brought over those snacks, those bags of snacks that were there there.

[20] She's a little snack company.

[21] She's a multiple -time world moitai champion.

[22] Moy Thai?

[23] Moitai.

[24] Tie boxing.

[25] You don't know what you've known what that is?

[26] Moitai now.

[27] Never heard of that?

[28] Nope.

[29] You're so, you're so.

[30] what are you white yeah you're white but you're also like a non -joc well i was a jock my whole life what would you do i played uh football did you oh that's right i played football forever and track and a bunch of stuff did you fuck but then i stopped did you fuck your body up at all uh no not too bad my shoulders a little bit my shoulders a little but uh that's pretty much it my knees you know like i run a lot now i've been running a lot for the last couple months and uh what brought that on i just want to be in better shape.

[31] Yeah.

[32] I want to feel better.

[33] I dropped like 15 pounds.

[34] Burning off some of the bread.

[35] Exactly.

[36] I was like, maybe, maybe.

[37] Yeah, your face looks thinner, man. It looks good.

[38] You have dropped a bunch.

[39] That's awesome.

[40] Thanks, man. That's a cool thing.

[41] Once you get going, right, you get that momentum, that's what's up.

[42] Well, you know, it's really was up.

[43] I was kind of cruising along and just like, we lost five pounds.

[44] It's just kind of like hanging around.

[45] And then I realized I'm working out, like, this workout that I'm doing is would have been a warm -up when I was an athlete.

[46] Right.

[47] Like, this wouldn't even have been a warm -up.

[48] And I'm like, oh, that was pretty good.

[49] And I was like, I have to stop being a sissy and try and really push it a little more.

[50] Why you get a trainer?

[51] Eh, I don't like intimacy.

[52] Oh, weird.

[53] That's real.

[54] Well, you know what else you can do?

[55] There's actually apps where you can follow an app and the app will put you through a workout.

[56] Oh, yeah?

[57] Yeah.

[58] There's several of them now.

[59] They're really good.

[60] Oh, cool.

[61] They're a bunch of really good ones.

[62] I don't have any affiliation with any of them So I'm not naming any of them But you can You can even get a yoga one You can get a 90 minute yoga one Right And just do yoga And it talks you through the poses That's great Yeah I used to do yoga all the time But I feel like I've got to I feel I have to shift into lifting weights again Yeah Like yeah Because I've just been dropping No but I just feel like You know A little bit I don't want to be Yeah I don't want to be the guy Like at the pool with no arms You know what I mean How many people have motivated themselves by going to the beach or the pool with very little clothes on?

[63] I thought about, fuck, summertime, fuck, people are going to know.

[64] Yeah, exactly.

[65] I reveal my secret.

[66] People are going to know what disgusts me about me. Yeah.

[67] This is my gluttony.

[68] Look at it.

[69] This is my laziness.

[70] Look.

[71] This is what I did all winter.

[72] This is my poor food choices right here.

[73] Look.

[74] I'm fine with it.

[75] This is drinking.

[76] This is all upper, the upper part.

[77] Yeah, this is the part right on the sides.

[78] But I really just, but then when I started getting after and being like, don't be such a sissy.

[79] Like, work out.

[80] Right.

[81] Try and push it.

[82] Then I wanted to do it more.

[83] Then I got into it.

[84] Then I'm like, all right, let's go.

[85] Now I'm going further.

[86] I'm going quicker.

[87] But this has all been cardio.

[88] Yeah.

[89] All cardio.

[90] What about just body weight stuff?

[91] Like, you know, I mean, it's not a bad idea to start off with body weight.

[92] First of all.

[93] Just push -ups.

[94] Yeah, because you haven't really done much like that.

[95] In a while.

[96] Yeah.

[97] It's chin ups, push -ups, and the body weight.

[98] squats really don't need much else really not really i've been doing more push -ups do you can get a ferocious workout in with change grip push -ups chin -ups body weight squats just to just those things does i mean i have to get one of those chin -up bars that goes in the doorway yeah get a real one though because those things fall and people die those ones that hang folks listen to me yeah those ones that hang on the door the door jam yeah i used to work construction those fucking things are not designed for you hanging on them.

[99] They have little tiny nails.

[100] And guess what?

[101] People like me probably installed them and sometimes you don't hit a stud.

[102] So that little tiny nail is going right into the fucking drywall and you're hanging that thing over there and it's pulling on that sucker.

[103] No, then I'll mess my shoulder up.

[104] Get those fuckers that drill into the side of the door.

[105] You know what I'm saying?

[106] Like the ones that, they go right in the side.

[107] They screw it in this way.

[108] Oh, into the jam.

[109] And it's like four screws on each side.

[110] That'll hold your weight.

[111] That'll hold your weight.

[112] I'll get that.

[113] that one will work because you're pulling down on the wood yeah the way those things are it's like sitting on the wood you know those ones that hook over the top of the door yeah yeah that shit is a recipe for a broken neck i feel like that thing was in like every 80s movie yeah i mean i'm sure they have good ones that do that i'm sure yeah sure but you you should really check out your fucking moldings first yeah those moldings why don't i just lay on the ground and do some push -ups yeah but a real chin -up bar man a real chin -up bar is I mean, if you just got one in a park, just go to the fucking park.

[114] You're outside.

[115] A lot of parks have like those chin -up bars, those little setups so you could do calisthenes.

[116] Yeah, yeah.

[117] Nobody ever uses those.

[118] Chitups are no joke.

[119] Nobody ever uses those.

[120] Those are great for working out, I know.

[121] They seem too simple.

[122] They seem like, oh, ladies must go over there.

[123] Bro, I go to Nautilus.

[124] I don't need this.

[125] Right, exactly.

[126] I do my leg extensions on Nautilus.

[127] I got my membership I use once a month.

[128] Bodyweight squads seem easy when you do three.

[129] Yeah.

[130] But when you do 100, they become very fucking hard.

[131] Right.

[132] When you get to like 70 and you're like, oh shit, you feel that burn, baby, and you start counting down in tens.

[133] I remember doing push -ups when we were played football and you would do, you know, 200.

[134] It would be like 200.

[135] You could break them up.

[136] In a row?

[137] No, break them up.

[138] I'm going to do in a row.

[139] They would, we'd do like 30 and then, you know, split them up.

[140] And, you know, that was a big time workout.

[141] And now I'm doing like, I'm good for a couple days.

[142] It's hard, man. It is.

[143] Getting anywhere more than 30 push -ups, it's like, woo, shit starts getting crazy.

[144] 30 -1.

[145] It's a lot of pushing.

[146] Yeah.

[147] Like, your body has to be conditioned for that.

[148] And if it's not, it lets you know, you're like, 33.

[149] Your arms start shaking.

[150] Yeah, the funniest part is.

[151] You get cocky around 19, though.

[152] You get to like 18, 19, like, bro, I'm feeling fucking smooth.

[153] It's so funny how whatever number you have in your head is where you start to, right?

[154] If you say I'm doing 20, you start shaking at 18.

[155] If you say I'm doing 25, you don't start shaking until 23.

[156] It's a real mental thing.

[157] You know what's really fucking cool that I got?

[158] Rogue makes this thing that it's like a bamboo pole.

[159] And on the end of the pole, you put rubber straps.

[160] Yeah.

[161] Like, you know, those bands that you...

[162] And then from those bands, you hang kettlebells.

[163] Off of the bamboo stick?

[164] Yes.

[165] So as you're doing this bench, I can't push my...

[166] Lift my right arm up.

[167] It's in pain right now.

[168] Otherwise, I'll show you.

[169] as you're doing this thing everything's all wobbly everything's super super wobbly because first of all the kettlebell is hanging from rubber and the stick this bamboo thing is super wobble and as you lift weights with that it's really good for your stabilizing muscles it's called an earthquake bar oh cool or there's a version of it what's a stabilizing muscle watch the video online or someone will take us off line yeah the earthquake bar yeah that's exactly the one I have We have that out there I'll show you to you afterwards It's really cool Because even lightweight Like if you had to do 70 pounds Yeah Like 35 at each side It's awkward as fuck But that doesn't look like Something you want to use In your house You're going to ruin your floors Put rubber on the floor Rubber on the floors Yeah put rubber All of your house So nothing gets ruined Did you do you have grandparents That put plastic over the furniture Oh yeah My nana My nana in Clifton, New Jersey Yeah Yeah Mine was in Newark Yeah They put fucking plastic over the furniture.

[170] It was a big deal.

[171] You spent a lot of money on that couch.

[172] It's going to, it's going to, has to last our whole life.

[173] I was confused when I was a little kid.

[174] I'd sit on that couch.

[175] I'd be like, this is terrible.

[176] Especially in the summer with your shorts.

[177] Oh, it's the worst.

[178] And your back of your legs would just be sweating it, man. And they eventually got kind of like yellowed by the sun and by use.

[179] Crackly.

[180] So it was weird.

[181] Yeah.

[182] It was like, oh, you would like put like a jacket down and then you would sit on your jacket.

[183] That whole generation never had comfort.

[184] Right.

[185] Like their beds were hard, the pillows were shit.

[186] Live through the fucking depression, man. Yeah, that's real.

[187] That shit, people starve to death.

[188] This was a barbaric time where people were brought down to, you know, base humanity, just survival.

[189] Rough.

[190] And then you have like 15 good years and then go into World War II.

[191] And they dealt with that.

[192] So yeah, they were like, we don't need comfort.

[193] We're not laying around in our sweatpants.

[194] on beanbag chairs.

[195] Well, they knew the importance of being vigilant, right?

[196] Like, we all, do you ever, do you follow David Gaggins online?

[197] Yeah.

[198] David, do you know what he is?

[199] No. David Gaggans is this Navy SEAL who, um, now is more or less, uh, like, a motivational and, uh, fitness influencer.

[200] Oh, the run, the guy who runs with like broken knees, that guy.

[201] Oh, he's a fucking savage.

[202] Yeah.

[203] I've seen some of his clips.

[204] He, what, how many 100 mile runs?

[205] that he run in a row?

[206] Oh, shit.

[207] Some fucking preposterous number.

[208] Yeah, I don't remember.

[209] I don't want to say, because I can't remember at all.

[210] I want to say six or seven, but then it's like 12 or 13.

[211] Of 100 mile?

[212] I don't remember at all.

[213] But his whole thing is stay hard.

[214] Like, he'll send me a text out of nowhere.

[215] Like, just say, stay hard, motherfucker.

[216] There's a lot of weak -ass bitches out there.

[217] Yeah.

[218] Because, like, first of all, if you're a Navy SEAL, right?

[219] This is the pinnacle of hand -to -hand combat and armed forces like those motherfuckers are all special humans yeah and then on top of those motherfuckers being all special humans there's guys that can just just put a little that message out like hey you you are soft as fuck compared to how people used to be right all soft as fuck compared to those world war two people those stay you got to stay vigilant back then everybody had to stay vigilant yeah yeah you had to deal with just day -to -day life you had to deal with what was coming from Hitler.

[220] You had to deal with it.

[221] You had to tune in at a certain time to find out what was happening.

[222] Everybody had to gather around the TV for the news.

[223] That was all the news you got.

[224] That's all the news you got.

[225] You only got an hour's worth.

[226] That was it.

[227] You didn't know what the fuck was going on.

[228] Nothing.

[229] And they were better off for it.

[230] And they just...

[231] Where they really?

[232] What's that?

[233] I'm so tired of that.

[234] What?

[235] That they were better off for it?

[236] I don't need to know.

[237] They were so not better off for it.

[238] Why?

[239] You're way better off.

[240] Recognizing that you're luckier than those people, having some fucking discipline.

[241] watching a David Goggin's Instagram clip and get your fucking shit together, Tompapa.

[242] No, I'm not...

[243] I agree with everything you just said.

[244] I agree with everything you just said, but I'm saying they were better off not being fed a news diet 24 hours a day.

[245] Mentally.

[246] Mentally, probably.

[247] We're the first human beings that have had to deal with this onslaught.

[248] It's a double -edged sword.

[249] Because if you don't get fed that, you don't find out about Julian Assange getting kicked out of the embassy in London.

[250] You don't find out about a million different stories that are in the news.

[251] It's a fun story, it's a cool story, but do I need to know it?

[252] It's a fun story.

[253] That's a quote for you from now on.

[254] Hey, what about Julian Assange?

[255] Tom Papa, hands up.

[256] In quotes, it's a fun story, it's a cool story, but I don't need to know it.

[257] Holy shit.

[258] Really?

[259] You just redefined white privilege.

[260] Well, you hit it on the head and lit it off fire.

[261] No, but seriously, what can I do?

[262] about a lot of these, you know, look, I think it's good that information is flowing and that moves everybody forward.

[263] But, you know, for me sitting in there trying to tell some jokes and feed my kids, it's like, do I need to know everything, every trouble spot going around the world?

[264] Well, it's like, that is a very good question.

[265] It's like, how much responsibility do you have to be tuned in to all the events of the world and to act?

[266] Like, how much responsibility do you have outside of voting?

[267] And do you have the responsibility to vote?

[268] Because there's some people that are very interesting people that don't vote.

[269] Yeah.

[270] I don't agree with that.

[271] Yeah, it's a...

[272] I want to participate.

[273] I understand that, but I don't think Michael Malice votes, doesn't he?

[274] Didn't he say he doesn't vote?

[275] I think he said he doesn't...

[276] I forget his reasoning, but it was very logical.

[277] No, I understand the argument, but even if it seems kind of false and I just, I think it kind of like mentally engages you in the world.

[278] It's like you should be trying to participate.

[279] I think his perspective is that as a commentator on the world, that'd be better off if he didn't actually vote and just look at it how he really sees it on both sides.

[280] Right.

[281] To stay impartial?

[282] Yeah.

[283] I'm sure I'm butchering the way he would phrase it.

[284] I think it's in the spirit of that.

[285] If you vote, you don't have a right to complain.

[286] All right.

[287] Okay, that doesn't even make sense.

[288] That was deep.

[289] Well, you know.

[290] But I think, but look, it's a lot, look, I think it's trying to be a good person on just a person level and trying to take care of your family and work hard and be good with people and help your community.

[291] That's kind of the extent of what you can do and hopefully that spreads out.

[292] But, you know, Julian Assange, okay.

[293] Jesus, bro.

[294] Well, really.

[295] I mean, why is that, you know.

[296] Like all those people that were talking about at that generation that only got news during that six o 'clock hour, you know, were they less citizens of the world because they only got that little dose?

[297] I don't know.

[298] They were less informed and the idea is that more people can get away with things they shouldn't be able to get away with.

[299] Like what's happening right now with Julian Assange.

[300] Julian Assange, in anybody's estimation, if you look at what he did, he distributed information that was extremely interesting to most people.

[301] people in the world that didn't know about it.

[302] Right.

[303] Exposed a lot of scary shit.

[304] Exposed a lot of corruption.

[305] It exposed a lot of, I mean, what corruption did it expose?

[306] I know it exposed.

[307] There was that collateral murder video.

[308] That was one of the first ones where they showed them shooting.

[309] They shot at these guys who they thought were soldiers and they were reporters.

[310] And it was sort of just the way they dealt with it.

[311] it was very scary for people watching that someone could just like dehumanize accidentally killing the wrong people right i make it like that was the military they were making it like you know hey but you kind of have to be in that mindset to be able to gun people down from the sky in the first place and the whole look you got to put yourself in the perspective of someone who has to do that job yeah and you take a regular person and then you train them to do that job and then you ask them to go and pull the trigger on people they're going to develop a coldness to them well yeah they have to yeah yeah Right, but to see it.

[312] So what Julian Assange did is he showed it to us.

[313] And then he released all sorts of, I mean, I haven't, I'm embarrassed to say that.

[314] I haven't really studied all the files and what was released and what wasn't.

[315] Apparently, when Ben Shapiro was here, he said that people's names got put out.

[316] Apparently, that was someone hacked into WikiLeaks and released that information before they could redact the names.

[317] Uh -huh.

[318] This was the, this is what I've been told by multiple sources.

[319] So what it?

[320] But again, I didn't look into it.

[321] I don't know if that was correct.

[322] So they're going to say that he was treasonous or that he was.

[323] I don't know what they're going to say.

[324] I think they're, the first thing was a sex charge.

[325] That's what they were trying to say that he had sex with a woman.

[326] They wear, he wore a condom and then they had sex.

[327] And then they had sex in the morning with no condom.

[328] And she didn't consent to that, that he just kind of did it or something.

[329] I think it was something more.

[330] I think they called it surprise sex.

[331] And if I'm butchering this, I'm sorry.

[332] But that didn't make sense, like that they would be going after him that way.

[333] It was obviously not about that.

[334] Yeah, you go after.

[335] If you want to get somebody, you go after him for whatever.

[336] But I think they're seeing, like, hacking charges now, right?

[337] I don't know.

[338] I know he would be crazy in the embassy, right?

[339] He wouldn't clean up after his cat and he was riding a scooter around.

[340] Is that true?

[341] That's what I don't know.

[342] Who knows what's true?

[343] I know that's part of the problem.

[344] But that's part of the little story that I caught.

[345] The little clip.

[346] Yeah, Duncan was poetically describing what the embassy must have smelled like, with Julian Assange, dirty cat shit, wafting through the halls.

[347] This crazy asshole you have staying here.

[348] Who won't leave?

[349] Pamela Anderson comes over every now and then.

[350] They get their freak on.

[351] The surveillance footage of Julian Assange skateboarding and the Ecuadorian embassy in London has been leaked.

[352] Kind of.

[353] Okay.

[354] Yeah, but here's the thing, man. Like, what do you want the guy to do?

[355] is there a problem he's there for seven fucking years no he must have gotten crazy yeah I mean that's like being you know under house arrest dude I mean it's amazing that he lasted that long what they did they waited him out and then when it they were never going to wait him out he was going to stay in there forever and then they guys got sick of them they just got sick of them I think there was also the Ecuadorian president I think he took a photograph in front of like some lobsters and shit and it was from a leaked email and that photo got out and it was very embarrassing to him because his country's in a deep financial crisis and he's chilling in some four seasons somewhere eating lobster and steak yeah well I don't know I mean look Isn't it funny that when you see pictures of Trump he's eating Kentucky fried chicken and when you see pictures of this dude he's eating lobster I mean that's hilarious Trump brings Kentucky fried chicken in his fucking private chat It's hilarious He really loves that stuff He loves it He really does He fucking loves fast food Like when he got all those athletes When they came to visit him And the government was shut down And he brought him off fast food He didn't understand They were like what the fuck is this shit And then he had another team Showed up months later And he broke out of the fast food again The government was open Just imagine The fucking You're going to see the president Of the United States And you're a professional athlete Yeah Right your body literally is a temple And they're college athletes but oh they're college yeah but still dialed in listen let's be real about that huh college athletes should get fucking paid that shit's crazy that's the biggest robbery and all of athletics is college sports yeah they get a chance to get into the NBA and the NFL yeah they get a chance they do but you're making billions off these kids fucking billions don't give them a sweatshirt that's $20 look all that fucking fast food I'm telling you man this guy in terms of like material current and future it's almost like we gluttoned out it's almost like trump was ice cream like when he was in office he was so good for comedy that it was like there was so many trump jokes now everyone's like no more i can't do it i can't fit anymore i can't take another bite i need something else i can't have ice cream these like not one more bite yeah ice cream's gonna come chucking out of your throat it's really true it's so he's so he's so fucking eccentric like good or bad just look at him as a human it's such a rare human yeah you know i mean you see it with the with the hair and the fucking constant golfing even though he's shit on fucking obama golfing and he's golfed way more than him he doesn't even try to pretend he's not a hypocrite no not at all he's just everything he's just the the fat american on a jet ski just letting it rip dude it's hilarious if you know what's also hilarious is and I think this is a real thing Trump derangement syndrome I think it's real You mean people that are obsessed with him They're obsessed with You know This is the thing that's going to get him He'll be out of office in three weeks Instead of like looking at it Like this is the argument for a guy like Michael Mouse That he's an objective Analyst Stepping back looking at this Uh huh He doesn't have a vested interest in this guy winning Or that guy isn't winning He's just going hmm What is this?

[356] Right back and watching.

[357] This is, if, if I'm going to take that position.

[358] Not emotionally involved.

[359] Because some people get so emotionally involved.

[360] They can't sleep.

[361] They start crying.

[362] They think it's the end of the world.

[363] I know.

[364] The world is exactly the same.

[365] We just have a different figurehead.

[366] And I think it would present challenges that'll make us more understanding of each other.

[367] I really do.

[368] That's what I really think.

[369] I think there's, there's good and bad about every situation.

[370] But the pro I see is communication.

[371] If we're just honest with the way, we communicate.

[372] I think people on the right and people on the left, they share a lot in common.

[373] There's a lot that they share rather than what they don't share in common.

[374] Yeah.

[375] You know?

[376] The only thing they don't share is what they're watching.

[377] Well, there's that too.

[378] Right?

[379] But it's also the vibe you get.

[380] Yeah.

[381] Like there's the vibe from these whatever, whether it's CNN, whatever show you're into.

[382] MSNBC, Fox News, they all give out a vibe.

[383] Yeah.

[384] And that vibe is you know we are right here's what's going on here's why that's a problem right you know and everyone has a different problem and everyone thinks they're right and then you have so you have different things you some of them have like eagles and flags and that's Fox News yeah right like that's my style I'm into that kind of truth give me that shit yeah fucking yeah yeah come over here the right way yeah right guys yeah let them move into your fucking neighbor let them move to your fucking neighbor neighborhood, Rachel Maddow?

[385] Trucks and hats and guns and go.

[386] So that becomes your team.

[387] That becomes your clan.

[388] Well, that's what it is.

[389] It's the team thing.

[390] Most of it.

[391] And the unfortunate part is both are spending so much time, rather than thinking about this is the problem that we have to deal with, they're spending all their time thinking those other people are assholes.

[392] Right.

[393] Exactly.

[394] It's being, it's the venomous attacks against fellow Americans because they have a slightly different view about healthcare, that part is the derangement of the culture right now.

[395] They're not enemies, they're Americans, you know, we're all on team America.

[396] Exactly.

[397] If we're going to agree to this fucking thing, look at that, bro.

[398] Exactly.

[399] We're all together.

[400] I'll show you something, bitch.

[401] It is a wild country.

[402] When you travel around.

[403] Look at my phone.

[404] Watch this.

[405] What do you got?

[406] The flag blows in the wind, bro.

[407] It moves.

[408] I believe in America is a concept.

[409] I don't think it's a bad thing to leave in America as a concept.

[410] No, come on.

[411] I think we're getting better.

[412] We're working on this.

[413] I think this idea that this, like, people were complaining that someone put the American flag on a cop car in California.

[414] Did you see that shit?

[415] Yeah.

[416] Yeah, like, hey, this is, we're in America.

[417] What do you mean they put it on a cop car?

[418] What's wrong with put an American flag on a cop car?

[419] Like, just straighted it over it?

[420] No, like they had like the side panel where it says the police department has the American flag incorporated into their logo.

[421] Oh.

[422] Like, what do you hate America?

[423] Yeah, what's wrong with that?

[424] I like it.

[425] Yeah, that's pretty.

[426] I like it.

[427] I fucking salute those guys if they drove by.

[428] Laguna Beach.

[429] What's the problem?

[430] Who doesn't like the American flag?

[431] What's wrong with being a patriot?

[432] This imperialism, man. Ah, geez.

[433] It's everything.

[434] It's all the good, too.

[435] It's all the creativity.

[436] Yeah.

[437] All the art, all the love, all the positive people, all the influential people.

[438] It's amazing.

[439] Oh, look at this.

[440] Oh, my God.

[441] Let's see this fucking quote.

[442] We have such an amazing community of artists here, and I thought the aesthetic didn't really represent our community.

[443] this person said it feels very aggressive bitch you're in the winners team right okay you're in laguna beach yeah it's aggressive an artist in laguda beach just loving life margaritas every day at four it's aggressive that's why you can walk around with flip flops you fucking idiot it's aggressive it's yeah but it's not aggressive to you it's not aggressive police are your friends the whole something happens to your house who do you want to come a guy with a guy with his water his water color kit or the police.

[444] Yeah, but they're not even saying that.

[445] Like, the police car, the colors on the car.

[446] Yeah.

[447] They're not saying we shouldn't have police.

[448] Right.

[449] They're saying that flag is too aggressive.

[450] Yeah, but it's the flag and the police.

[451] Yeah, but like, why does the flag make it more aggressive?

[452] That is so stupid.

[453] I don't get it.

[454] But it's that thought process.

[455] There's just something wrong with us.

[456] Well, there is that, there is that knee -jerk reaction from people on the far left that think that everything we do is evil, you know, from.

[457] the beginning of the country to now, we're just corrupt and evil and awful.

[458] Well, then why are you still here?

[459] Well, why are you going to the arcade?

[460] They would all admit that it has great qualities.

[461] The problem is, the problem is when people really focus on only negative aspects.

[462] Right.

[463] The negative aspects in this country are real.

[464] They're real.

[465] Of course.

[466] From top to bottom.

[467] In every, right.

[468] In every group of human beings, the negative aspects are real.

[469] But this group of human beings, in a relatively short, period of time has a man this group of human beings has managed to accomplish insane architecture music comedy writing that's right and dominate the world i mean it's a crazy fucking weird place but dominate the world in a democratic sense right with with a democratic election in in their country in a mostly peaceful manner the real problem was and then you start wondering like what the United States does outside of this country and whether or not they should be doing it, right?

[470] It's like, are they doing this because they have to do this?

[471] Because this is the way the rules work in that country.

[472] I mean, why are they propping up this guy when this guy is clearly a dictator?

[473] Is it better to have the dictator in charge than to have it become a failed state like Libya?

[474] All the shit that's way beyond our pay grade.

[475] That's where things get screwy.

[476] And you say like, yeah, I don't like what America does overseas.

[477] Okay, I don't exactly know what they do.

[478] And I don't think you do either.

[479] No, exactly.

[480] I think there's some...

[481] Until Julius Sodge tells us.

[482] Yeah, well, clearly some people know, right?

[483] Some people are super educated and informed.

[484] I'm not denying that.

[485] Yeah.

[486] But what I'm saying is that most of the people that have these really aggressive opinions.

[487] Yeah.

[488] About these things.

[489] And look, there's...

[490] I don't necessarily think they've thought about it too deeply.

[491] No, but you also know that, you know, look, everybody knows the country does some dirty stuff in places that wasn't cool.

[492] Well, find me a country who does it.

[493] Right, exactly.

[494] It's like the thing these militaries and these countries have to do in order to keep peace and stay alive.

[495] Yeah.

[496] And, you know, you want to shine light on that, so maybe it's not done again.

[497] But it's part of the thing that we were talking about before, about like our grandparents not having a lot of the information.

[498] And in a way that you're living in the dark and that's bad.

[499] But in a way, you're living in the light now and you see everything.

[500] The problem with seeing everything, I think it kind of is a problem.

[501] problem, is that you realize that no organization, no country, no government is flawless, no person.

[502] They're flawed.

[503] Everything is flawed.

[504] Everything.

[505] And now we have this idea that if somebody isn't perfect, they should be just run out of town.

[506] Cancelled.

[507] Yeah.

[508] Cancelled.

[509] Cicked out of office, whatever.

[510] We're all flawed.

[511] Everybody's flawed.

[512] And this idea, because we can find everything else out.

[513] You can expose everyone's flaws.

[514] Well, we're going to have to come out of this somehow realizing that a flaw doesn't mean that they're evil or they're negative and they have to be kicked out.

[515] Do you think there's ever going to be a time in humans, like whether it's 100 years from now or 1 ,000 years from now where there's no war?

[516] Yes.

[517] Yes, I do.

[518] How do you see that happening?

[519] Well, it's going to start with cop cars with flags on them And then they're going to patrol around I think it would be technology And I think it's a matter of everybody becoming more comfortable If you can if you can have people This is like a Thomas Friedman idea That if you want to stop like people fighting in the Middle East Give them all the comforts of a good society Let them be able to go eat McDonald's And sit in a coffee shop and all of a sudden you don't want to fight as much.

[520] And that means prosperity.

[521] That means popping.

[522] So I think technology, if you can bring more water to people and there's less suffering, if climate change doesn't ruin all of that.

[523] I think if you can prop these people up and give all these people, if they can rise, then there's no sense.

[524] I mean, we're at a point now where there's fewer wars than ever before on the planet.

[525] Sure.

[526] So we're headed in that direction, so I don't see why not.

[527] Well, as a thought exercise, let's look at it this way.

[528] what makes anybody decide to act as a group what makes anybody like if why would we decide to go like if right what negotiations should we be having with someone in germany like why why are we having a conversation about anything you live way the fuck over there on the other side of the ocean uh what would make people act as a group and go over and try to fuck with somebody else that's in another place like well people can be people can definitely be rallied right for any cause most certainly but do you think this is my thought that there will come a time where that kind of rallying doesn't work that people will stop believing i mean this is one of those very bizarre ideas that the systems that we've established for for human civilizations Whether it's countries or cities or continents, whatever it is.

[529] These systems, once all the boundaries that kept people from freely traveling, once those are dissolved.

[530] You know, it's all broken down.

[531] No country anymore.

[532] The only thing that's keeping it together now is the fact that it's air travel.

[533] So they know when you're coming in, they get to check your papers.

[534] Right.

[535] Oh, you're flying in from overseas, are you, Mr. Papa?

[536] Well, there's only one way, motherfucker.

[537] You've got to land right here in this spot.

[538] And then we take each individual and we say, can I see your paperwork?

[539] What do you got?

[540] Who are you?

[541] Where are you from?

[542] Where are you born?

[543] Do you have money?

[544] Are you a drug addict?

[545] Do you ever been arrested?

[546] And they're allowed, they could still do that that way.

[547] If that didn't exist, if it was way easier to go to Germany.

[548] If there was a technology that would allow you, like a person like you or me, the same way we could drive places, we could just fly into somewhere and land anywhere.

[549] Yeah.

[550] You don't have to go to a fucking specific location like an airport or get funneled through a road that takes you to some, you know, some checkpoint station, like when you're trying to drive from Mexico.

[551] borders just if people could fly yeah if people if people flew anywhere they wanted to go uh -huh if that technology existed good fucking luck keeping people from coming into your city good luck all those rules are out the window yeah all those immigration rules that doesn't exist anymore right can't exist people can go anywhere they want right but what are you saying that gives you well it gives you the interaction with human beings like and that'll break down you you You won't be able to get them as a group as easily to go after another group.

[552] Right, because now there's no country, basically.

[553] There's no, like, thing to, we're not part of this that has to go fight that.

[554] Right.

[555] We're all one now.

[556] Here you do if one person lives in a great spot and they don't want to give up their oil, right?

[557] Right.

[558] Then it becomes a problem.

[559] Come on, guys.

[560] We're all in this together.

[561] Those people in Alaska, you know, they got all that fucking oil, bro.

[562] Here's two things, though.

[563] Here's two things of why it might not work.

[564] One's technology Oh, there's probably 2 ,000 things Yeah, but only two that I can think of Okay, let me hear it Uh, one Italians are Italians and Germans are Germans and Mexicans are Mexicans And you get around your people and you feel it and you know it And I know who you are and we're part of that tribe And we're part of that thing And it doesn't matter that we grew up somewhere I just know you as an Italian and I'm an Italian and I am with you And that is very different from that Turkish guy over there That thing, that very human thing, chemistry thing of your own blood, your own thing.

[565] I don't think that's going to go away for...

[566] Bro, you're old school and you bake bread.

[567] I think you're talking nonsense.

[568] You're really into old, old -timey things.

[569] You're into old -timey things.

[570] I do love old -timey things.

[571] If they could fix your eyes without glasses, you'd be like, nah, I like the glasses.

[572] They make you feel like I'm thinking.

[573] I put them on, I'm getting ready to go to work.

[574] I like it.

[575] But I think that's a real thing.

[576] I like my horse.

[577] Horses are better than cars.

[578] They're your friend.

[579] They're your friend.

[580] You give them hay.

[581] It's not that bad, and the shit is actually really good for fertilizer.

[582] All right.

[583] Well, I'm going to blow your mind with my technology end of this conversation, which I just read an article yesterday, that in China, face recognition is the thing that's going to stop your fantasy of everybody just loving each other and going around.

[584] In China, with face recognition, they're able to recognize and categorize Muslims in the country.

[585] There's like this one sect of Muslim in China.

[586] China.

[587] And with all this face recognition that they're seeing, you know, from your phone, from everything, they're starting to catalog the enemy.

[588] And they're going to be able to, police are sharing information and hotels and everybody.

[589] And they're all now, through this network, know what type of person just walked into this building and whether they're friendly or they're the enemy.

[590] And that thing, that face recognition thing, could end up splitting us apart even more.

[591] Old timey -tommy, Tommy with his technological facts.

[592] Here, China's Big Brother surveillance technology isn't nearly as all -seeing as the government wants you to think.

[593] This is kind of like they might be able to upgrade it, though.

[594] It says it can't see more of them.

[595] That's 1 .0.

[596] Do you remember when your phone unlocked with your fingerprint and it blew your motherfucking money?

[597] You're like, what, bro?

[598] It's true.

[599] It's my finger.

[600] It even works my pinky.

[601] Yeah, get five finger.

[602] prints on this motherfucker I get to do the side of my thumb and it's just knows it's glasses it's a cop what do you mean this is a cop it's a cop with Google last yeah it's got some sort of face recognition thing it's like that Tom Cruise movie a minority report whoa is that real yeah no but this not Tom Cruise Tom Cruise is definitely I don't know but it looks real that's you know I I try to Google Glass on once I actually went through a whole whole UFC weigh -ins wearing a Google glass.

[603] How was it?

[604] It was filming it, I guess.

[605] Ah, it wasn't ready.

[606] Right.

[607] It wasn't ready.

[608] And I think that's why they haven't upgraded it.

[609] Yeah.

[610] Let's hold off, because this is not working.

[611] Yeah, it's been a while.

[612] They're not into that dorky shit.

[613] And people got super uncomfortable when you're around them.

[614] It's like holding a camera on everybody.

[615] Like, walking around with a fucking camera everywhere.

[616] I think they'll have something eventually, but I have a feeling it'll be something where there's a technology.

[617] or the outside, you can't see things, but in the inside you can, and then they'll show you images, like, directly in front of you on the lens.

[618] So, like, you wear glasses, like your glasses, but it'll show you things right in front of you.

[619] Right.

[620] Yeah.

[621] I got one that.

[622] I heard that.

[623] I don't know if I understand and believe that this is real, but I've just Googled it, and I found something that makes it seem like it.

[624] So the next version of the VR headsets are supposed to have brain tracking in them, and that sounds super scary, but it's all.

[625] already, like, being implemented and tested.

[626] You get a knock on your door.

[627] All you think about is beaten off.

[628] What is wrong with you, man?

[629] How often do you beat off?

[630] No, no, no. We thought you were a regular person, but you're beating off 100 times as we...

[631] You imagine if they want to have a talk to you?

[632] Like, Mr. Papa, you watched 14 hours of pornography this week.

[633] Yeah.

[634] That seems a lot.

[635] Yeah.

[636] I think your mother would think that seems like a lot, don't you think?

[637] I mean, I don't want to talk to her about it.

[638] Well, they say employers are going to do that, insurance companies are going to do that, and They're going to be able to...

[639] Find out how much you're beating off.

[640] How much you're beating off.

[641] How much you're working out.

[642] How much you're sleeping.

[643] Whether and what...

[644] Look at that.

[645] We promise to share only good stuff.

[646] Sure.

[647] That's like Google when they said, don't be evil.

[648] Yeah.

[649] They abandoned that.

[650] Once they started making money, they fucking painted right over that sign.

[651] Maybe a little evil.

[652] What is evil, man?

[653] I mean, what is evil?

[654] Evil Schmebel.

[655] We're going in that direction.

[656] Yeah, man. It's going in that direction.

[657] Yeah.

[658] It's all going to some sort of a wearable thing that connects you.

[659] but a weird thing that like everywhere you're going they're picking off your face and then you're going to be able to they're going to know exactly what you are and who you are and you know it's a strange it's strange but is it any more strange than our lives today in comparison to people that lived in 1920 like we were talking about earlier yeah this is way we're way we way lived super weird we're in weird town already for sure you just hope it doesn't get into the hands of people that can really mess with you oh yeah the people with the money.

[660] The people with the money and all the control.

[661] Yeah.

[662] They're going to be cool with it, right?

[663] Yeah, they'll be great.

[664] They'll be all right.

[665] Yeah, they'll be fine.

[666] Everything's going to be fine.

[667] Do you have a Alexa in your house?

[668] Alexa.

[669] Yeah.

[670] My kids do.

[671] My one friend is always trying to tell me, just get that out of your house.

[672] It's listening to everything that you stay and everything that you do.

[673] Don't say anything bad in that room.

[674] I had a question about the, you know, neural link might be coming on soon or whatever.

[675] I was thinking about, like, if a guy, to the point where like say we all got it and then everyone you knew had it and there's like a thousand people that have it when we hit a like a threshold point where you're like not everybody should have this we're good at this point right here well how would you ever deny people something like that though cost it might be really expensive to no but how would you ever know you can't deny people that like say if someone's coming up and they want to try it and everyone else has it that would that would create a giant problem that'd be like if you said that with cell phones too many people have cell phones we have to stop you no more buying cell phones i know that's why i sort of think that there might become a big problem with that why what is nor link i don't but hold on a second i don't understand why you think i just sort of think that if uh in the theory that you're really going to let thousands of people have instant access to the world's knowledge at their finger at a at a thoughts like instant that becomes too powerful in the wrong hands and the people that might have it first might see the future problems of that i'm just where i was wondering i was thinking way too far.

[676] Jamie got high and watched Superman.

[677] That's not like you got high and watched Superman.

[678] The answer you say is like, no, that probably won't be a problem.

[679] Well, no. You can't stop it, though.

[680] I don't, yeah, I don't think that anyone can say that it's not going to be a problem.

[681] Yeah.

[682] I don't know, I mean, what is a problem, though?

[683] It's going to be something.

[684] It's going to be a something.

[685] Yeah, it's going to change.

[686] If everyone has access to all the world's information instantaneously, first of all, colleges are going under, son.

[687] That was my first class.

[688] I was like, they're going to fight that.

[689] Couldn't happen fast in that.

[690] all day until...

[691] I don't think they can.

[692] But, yeah, they're not going to be able to.

[693] The amount of money that you would make off of something that made everybody super smart.

[694] Yeah.

[695] There's no way.

[696] You can imagine if you found out how ironic would it be.

[697] If you found out that like Stanford and Harvard had banded together to try to stop this from coming out because it would kill their business.

[698] Yeah.

[699] Yale got together.

[700] And it was like, you know, just like how there's some college admission scandals going down.

[701] Oh, yeah.

[702] It's so great.

[703] If there was a scandal that, all these higher universities had banded together to try to stop this because he was going to kill their business.

[704] You know, like, everybody can know everything we tell them more than everything we tell them.

[705] I'm going on some college tours already.

[706] Jesus Christ.

[707] Yeah.

[708] Oh, my God.

[709] It really makes you think.

[710] I'm like, do they really need this?

[711] This is expensive.

[712] Oh, yeah, man. Do they really need a degree in all of this?

[713] I don't know.

[714] It's a weird business, man. It's a total weird business.

[715] I don't know why it costs so much.

[716] I'll tell you why.

[717] Why?

[718] Because the administrators are all making bank.

[719] Is that what it is?

[720] Yeah.

[721] It's all the money that goes.

[722] So all these kids' generations are in debt because they have to take these student loans because college is more expensive than ever before.

[723] Well, it hasn't changed running the university, the teachers.

[724] It's the administration of these giant universities are making so much money.

[725] They're making millions.

[726] and they keep cranking it out and they keep needing to up the rate and then they make money accessible for the students through loans and then they keep feeding themselves.

[727] It's horrible.

[728] It's a horrible corrupt system.

[729] And it's also subsidized, right?

[730] Well, the government will subsidize something.

[731] How much does the government subsidize private education?

[732] Private education?

[733] I don't think any.

[734] Just public?

[735] Yeah.

[736] You got a fast -ful loan, though.

[737] Yeah.

[738] it's so expensive i mean you know it's isn't that weird too there's like state schools private schools yes you know they all cost money everything costs money yeah like what is it like how much it costs to get to like USC how much is like a semester at us 70 ,000 no not a semester a year a year is it 70 000 probably 70 for the year yeah that's like the that's that's the that's the online google search thing that's 50 plus your room and board plus all the rest of it If your kid fucks off.

[739] Yes.

[740] Which, of course, they're going to do.

[741] And by the way, to have 50 grand, you need to make like 80, right?

[742] With taxes.

[743] Oh, yeah.

[744] So you had to make 80 grand.

[745] Yeah.

[746] For a whole year of your kid being in school.

[747] Yeah.

[748] And if your kid's just doing bong hands.

[749] Totally.

[750] Playing ping pong and shit.

[751] My father dropped me off to school at school when I was like a sophomore.

[752] It just drove me into college and, dropped off my stuff and I was so psyched to go see my friends and I was like just kind of you know just work hard be responsible okay dad okay okay okay I go running into my dorm room my buddies are there I haven't seen them all break Tom they hand me a bong hey I light up as soon as I walk at my bags I haven't even drop I light it with my lighter and this huge flame comes out and poof almost like lights my face on fire I'm like blah blah blah hey Papa you're definitely dad's outside.

[753] He's in the van.

[754] I forgot something.

[755] I forgot a lamp in the van.

[756] He's like, I go running out there.

[757] I'm like, hey, what's up?

[758] You know, hoping I don't smell.

[759] He goes, hey, you forgot your, what happened to your eyebrow?

[760] Your eyebrows's burnt off.

[761] What did you do in the two minutes?

[762] I just took the lamp.

[763] Thanks, Dad.

[764] See you later.

[765] And he's writing checks.

[766] He's writing checks for me to go do that, you know?

[767] Yeah, it's Brutal.

[768] Jesus Christ.

[769] That was just tuition I saw.

[770] Yeah, see, $75 ,000.

[771] $75 ,000.

[772] U .S .E. one year.

[773] Room and boards, 15 .3.

[774] That's got to be low because that's just about over a thousand a month.

[775] It's got to be.

[776] Yeah, it should be higher than that.

[777] And that's without, like, if your kid, if you live on the East Coast and you're flying your kid back and forth and all the rest of it.

[778] But look at personal.

[779] So expensive.

[780] Personal and miscellaneous, $1 ,400 for the year?

[781] For the year?

[782] 100 bucks a month.

[783] Get out of it.

[784] Yeah, that's crazy.

[785] Forget it.

[786] That's $25 a week.

[787] books are going to be way more than 100 bucks a month too the books are going to be 1 ,200 a semester probably you should go to state school you pay a quarter of that stay in get your undergrad here's the thing it's like you could have a nonsense education like me where you just read things that you're interested in and then you never get like a real base education like I don't have a degree in anything you didn't go to college I went to college but I fucked off I barely paid attention yeah I went to UMass Boston oh yeah that's where my sister I didn't even take my SATs.

[788] Oh, really?

[789] No, there was like a, they had like a continuing education program.

[790] You could just sign up and start taking classes there.

[791] Oh, nice.

[792] Did you go the whole way?

[793] No. No, no. I went for three years.

[794] I was barely paying attention.

[795] Three years?

[796] Yeah.

[797] I did, I guess I realized I was doing it a little bit while I was still doing stand -up, like while I started doing stand -up.

[798] It was all, it was literally only so that people didn't think I was a loser.

[799] Right.

[800] I just wanted to let people.

[801] people know I'm doing something.

[802] I didn't pay attention at all.

[803] Right.

[804] All I was thinking about was martial arts competition and then it was stand -up.

[805] Right.

[806] Well, yeah.

[807] The transition right there.

[808] Yeah, once that happens, forget it.

[809] Once I realize that people made money doing stand -up, that's when I quit.

[810] It depends on what you want to go do.

[811] Like, there's certain, you want to go in law or you want to do certain, you know, medicine.

[812] There's certain routes where you need a degree, where you really need a degree.

[813] And there's definitely something good to going.

[814] the school and being around other people from around the country and all kind of thinking and for sure it's all positive but you should not go into debt i have all these nephews that they got out of school 30 ,000 dollars in debt right this is the start of your life as an adult the worst 30 ,000 in debt they can't keep up with the payments so then the interest kicks in and after four years now they owe 50 ,000 and they're constantly chasing it yeah and now they ask their parents to help them out and they co -signed.

[815] Now you have two generations.

[816] And they're probably no taxes.

[817] Right.

[818] And they're now on their second job where no one cares anymore where you went to school.

[819] They never even asked the question.

[820] They don't?

[821] No. No. In certain places, yeah, in certain routes.

[822] It really depends on what you're trying to do.

[823] Right.

[824] If you're going to be a doctor, I think they care.

[825] Yes.

[826] I think they care.

[827] Well, yeah.

[828] Well, maybe.

[829] Depends what kind of doctor.

[830] There's a lot of doctors.

[831] You're applying for a job as a history professor?

[832] Go into television production, whatever, no one gives a shit.

[833] Oh, that's true.

[834] If you're going to do Hollywood -type jobs, yeah, nobody gives a fuck.

[835] No, go working in construction.

[836] You could do what, what I'm going to, my whole thing is, and I keep trying to say this to my daughter, is that you should never, don't jeopardize your future for this degree.

[837] You can get degrees, they'll be important, they'll help you, but you should not strap yourself with debt.

[838] That's wise advice.

[839] Yeah.

[840] Very wise advice.

[841] And she's like, how about you work harder and just pay for it?

[842] And I won't have to be in debt.

[843] That's a good thing for her to say.

[844] It's clever.

[845] Very smart.

[846] She set you up.

[847] And my other daughter, I'm just going to give her head shots, $300.

[848] Head shots right in the business.

[849] The business.

[850] Done.

[851] That old show business.

[852] Yeah.

[853] Hey, everybody's crazy.

[854] But I thought showbiz people were crazy.

[855] Everyone's crazy.

[856] You're crazy.

[857] I'm crazy.

[858] Yeah.

[859] The people who, you think insurance salesmen people are fucking crazy?

[860] They just better at hiding it all day.

[861] Yeah.

[862] That's what they do.

[863] That's what they do.

[864] They hide it.

[865] They hide it all fucking day.

[866] If you were really smart, you'd just go into plumbing.

[867] Listen, there's not a lot of plumbers out there.

[868] I know.

[869] And you make a really good living at it, and there's not a lot of people that are learning these skills anymore.

[870] That's what you should go do.

[871] Or do something you really want to do.

[872] Find something you really want to do.

[873] Yeah.

[874] Maybe you don't want to be a plumber.

[875] should it be a requirement that they know what they want to do before they go into college no but see what college should be is education what it really seems to be more is like prepping you for the job force you know i mean there's education as well but it's prepping you for the job force and nowadays at least in a certain segment of the population you're you're getting these colleges that are also like socially indoctrinating kids socialist ideas and a lot of ideas that, you know, just are contrary to what probably their parents taught them.

[876] And so then there's this internal dispute and who's right and who's wrong and do our rebel against my parents and go full social justice warrior.

[877] Yeah.

[878] Yeah.

[879] Join the young Republicans on campus.

[880] And, you know, kids are just trying to find who they are.

[881] Yeah.

[882] There's definitely, when you walk onto these campuses, even just to tour them, which I never did when I just, you know, picked one out and went.

[883] But you go in, the personality of each university is so dominant as soon as you walk on to the campus.

[884] I went to some small, really left liberal art schools, and you just feel like the posters and everything.

[885] You're just like, as a white male, you're not welcome here at all.

[886] And then you go to some other places and it's just kind of free flowing and everybody's just, it's into this, they're just all about the football team.

[887] Have you ever seen a poster that says as a white male, you're not welcome here?

[888] Yeah.

[889] where in my daughter's room that's hilarious no but you know you get like it's like very very progressive and very you know everything is an issue and you know that's where you develop those ideas but what i'm saying is you can really learn from going on these campuses like oh this is well there's a vibe you get indoctrinated into whatever vibe the campus holds and you get social points for like following those ideas right as as as as hardcore as you can yeah it's really it's really interesting yeah like if you take yourself out of whichever way you lean if you lean left you can say well it's because they're young and they're passionate and they're right right like ah they're babies and they're being taught by people who never made it in the real world they only exist in academia and they're yeah but just look at instead of looking it like that yeah look at it where you don't have a fucking dog in the and just step back and go, this is fascinating.

[890] It's like people are just trying to change and influence people's thinking and behavior.

[891] And some of it is to justify their own thinking and behavior.

[892] Some of it is because some people just like controlling people.

[893] They like getting people to listen to them.

[894] And some of it is because they genuinely think that this is for the best for the human race.

[895] And so all these things are competing together.

[896] That's why you have some people that are activists and you meet them.

[897] They're not annoying at all.

[898] You're like, God damn, you're really cool.

[899] Because they're doing it with the right.

[900] heart, right?

[901] But then you have activists that are so annoying.

[902] Why are they so annoying?

[903] Because they're not doing it for the right reasons.

[904] They're doing it to try to change people because they want to poke you.

[905] They want to have a reason to be upset at you because you're not listening to them or you're not following their ideas.

[906] Right.

[907] Them and there.

[908] Those are the key words.

[909] It's about them and their status and their power over you.

[910] Yeah.

[911] No, I know.

[912] There's a couple people, you know, there's a couple people I know that have gone that way so hard that you can't even have conversations with them on both sides.

[913] It doesn't help.

[914] It doesn't, all it does is create more, more conflict.

[915] Like that kind of combative attitude creates more conflict.

[916] You could be right on every single issue.

[917] But if you're super combative all the time, that people just don't, they don't want to communicate with you and they're not willing to enter into an honest exchange with you.

[918] Yeah.

[919] Because it's always a contest.

[920] There's a, a battle going on.

[921] And you always think you're right.

[922] Right.

[923] It's us versus the, and they're just looking for little clues to see where you're at.

[924] And if you give them any kind of hint that you might lean one way, they just pounce on you.

[925] It's brutal.

[926] It's like this, it's a horrible way to live.

[927] And they're angry.

[928] They're just angry.

[929] They just walk around with this anger.

[930] It's like, get an ice cream cone.

[931] Enjoy your life a little bit.

[932] Like, what are you doing?

[933] They're hardcore Dodgers fans.

[934] That's what they are.

[935] They're just hardcore sports fans for the Democrats.

[936] Yeah.

[937] They're like, our fucking team's going to kick their fucking.

[938] ass in 2020 Trump's going down right exactly it's really yeah it really is that hey did you see tiger yesterday dude i was watching it while we were in georgia we were in georgia we were in georgia for the ufc right and uh had a comedy show out there and we were me and um santino were watching it on the screen ah on saturday or yesterday we watched it friday or was it friday saturday saturday saturday saturday saturday well whatever days it was right i think we watched it two days in a row I think it was in the gym every day we were there But then I got home and I saw it on my phone I was like holy shit I don't even give a fuck about golf I know it was powerful I made a comeback A huge comeback Look at that I mean that's amazing 11 years later Oh my god So great Somebody put on Instagram One of my quotes Oh yeah That I attached to that It was pretty cool That I love a guy Like I love what did I say I love a success story but even more than that I love a guy fucks his life up and then gets it back together again story it's the greatest yeah it's the greatest that's the best when you realize like how much good he must feel to that guy to be on the top of the world again and that he like yeah was so messed up and in the back problems and the troubles and the kids and the wife and the thing and just 11 years yeah and he didn't stop working he just went to work and went to work and went to work crazy 11 years later and so he won't One major championship recently, right?

[939] Didn't he win one?

[940] It was a big deal.

[941] He won a major championship within the last couple months.

[942] It wasn't a major, but it was a major.

[943] This was the first major he's won in 11 years.

[944] Oh, okay.

[945] So the other one wasn't a major, but it was a big event.

[946] Yeah, it was a big tournament.

[947] So he wins that one, everybody's like, wow.

[948] He might be back.

[949] He could fucking win big tournaments again.

[950] And then he just, oh, it was so cool to see the crowd just kept building over the weekend.

[951] And by yesterday, it was massive thousands of people around the green.

[952] just hanging on him.

[953] Oh, the relief that you saw just coming out of him was so great.

[954] And then at the end, like, he walks off where as a kid, he was only like 21 when he won the first time, hugging his dad at the edge.

[955] And now he comes off 11 years later all this time, and his dad's passed, and he's hugging his child, his son.

[956] Now he's the father in the same spot.

[957] Wow.

[958] Oh, it was just, I was trying not to cry the whole time.

[959] Wow.

[960] Oh, it was such a tear.

[961] Jerker.

[962] What relief.

[963] People were just so happy for him.

[964] Wow.

[965] Such a great story.

[966] We do love a comeback.

[967] Why not, man?

[968] You love a comeback.

[969] Come on.

[970] We're all flawed like you were saying before.

[971] Yeah, man. But being able to improve.

[972] That's what that guy did.

[973] He bit down and improved.

[974] Amazing.

[975] Improved his life.

[976] Yeah, and never stopped.

[977] Yeah, went south, and he picked it right back up and brought it north again.

[978] Yeah.

[979] 11 years of doing it and failing.

[980] and failing and failing.

[981] Is that beautiful?

[982] It is beautiful.

[983] Such a cool thing.

[984] Yeah.

[985] I was wondering, like, he wears that red shirt.

[986] He's got to wear the red on Sunday.

[987] It's like his...

[988] That's his thing.

[989] That's his thing.

[990] Yeah.

[991] And he was in light colors on Saturday.

[992] And I was like, does he just, like, free himself from that?

[993] Or is that a superstition that you got to kind of hang on to?

[994] Hmm.

[995] Good question.

[996] Yeah, you know?

[997] What do you think would happen if there was an openly gay, black guy with, blonde hair who only wore pink who was like the best golfer a life and started dominating.

[998] It'd be great.

[999] Some dude who's like super duper gay and he's just got this fucking crazy drive and he gets down on the ground.

[1000] He can see the way the earth is rolling and the whole time he's doing he's like lisping and snapping his fingers and wiggling his butt.

[1001] You know I put pretty.

[1002] What would happen if he started just winning?

[1003] They would probably poison him.

[1004] You think they would poison him?

[1005] It was like a super flamboyant gay guy who was winning, I don't get black or white, they would poison him.

[1006] Do you don't think so?

[1007] I don't think so because golfers are so close to flamboyantly queenie gay anyway.

[1008] Look at their outfits.

[1009] They're all pink and like, big plaid pants.

[1010] They're like a bunch of old white dudes, straight white dudes who want to be gay.

[1011] But it's all this country club life, right?

[1012] Isn't it a big part of it?

[1013] Yeah, but you're going to have that guy swishing around back and forth.

[1014] In the locker room.

[1015] Snapping his fingers, staring at dicks.

[1016] No. No, no, no, no, no. You don't think they're going to He's sputton He's got a catch phrase All his hair is shaved except for a curly manned That just pops straight up and it's blonde And he wears lipstick And he's a motherfucker at golf He's just killing fools I just love my irons Maybe he would open golf up to everybody else You think that would happen?

[1017] Do you think that Tiger Wood Tiger Woods, he opened up golf for people of color, right?

[1018] Clearly they got into it because of them.

[1019] How many people got into golf that would have never even thought about playing golf?

[1020] For sure.

[1021] Tiger could play.

[1022] Yeah, started opening up to inner city.

[1023] Schools were starting to get involved in it.

[1024] What about the gay community?

[1025] Are they represented in professional golf?

[1026] I think they are.

[1027] Flamboyant dress like the Bee Gees in the 70s.

[1028] They're close, Joe.

[1029] They're wearing plaid pants.

[1030] They're wearing tassels.

[1031] You have xenophobia.

[1032] That's how people from Scotland dress You son of a bitch I was saying I was just saying they would be embraced You know Scotland's a weird place Like you have to dress a certain way When you hunt there Or at least they have a certain way They dress like a traditional way I like that But it's not like they don't wear camo It's like an outfit Yeah it's like an outfit Like what do they wear?

[1033] They wear like clothes Weird Old timey clothes I like that I like tradition Um, yeah, I know you did.

[1034] That's why I brought it up.

[1035] Bourdain went, um, hunting in Scotland for his television show.

[1036] Right.

[1037] He had to wear some crazy ass outfit.

[1038] Right.

[1039] You get suited for this outfit, this traditional hunting outfit.

[1040] It's pretty cool.

[1041] Yeah.

[1042] A lot of those, that's, that's, it's, it's traditional.

[1043] A lot of those places like Scotland, too, if I'm in, I think most of it was like private land.

[1044] Right.

[1045] I think back in the day, like, that was what Robin Hood was all about, right?

[1046] Robin Hood was originally supposed to be about someone who was poaching and hunting on the king's land because they were hungry and so they were stealing from the rich to feed the poor.

[1047] Gentlemanly pursuit, hunting and shooting attire.

[1048] Look how they dress.

[1049] Does that help you?

[1050] Helps me. Be a good hunter?

[1051] Because aren't you have to goof on them.

[1052] Or does it like, does that get in the way of hunting or is that help hunting?

[1053] That's not helping shit.

[1054] A tie and a vest.

[1055] Those boots are kind of fresh though.

[1056] Go back to his.

[1057] boots yeah man that guy looks good his boots can you make them boots larger look at those fresh boots yeah come on those i'm gonna start wear those on stage that could i get in trouble for cultural appropriation wearing someone's stuff if they're white too no how's that work no if they're more powerful than you then you're okay like how does that work how does that work you can't take from how much what percentage of native american do you have to have in you to wear moccasins ooh a lot the tassel jacket how about the like the swayed tassel jacket They're like Roger Daltrey Yes, like the rebels in the 70s war I wanted one of those so bad when I was in high school They look so cool The easy rider with the fringe on it It's all moving when you're driving Man I wanted that With your arm out the window with a car and it's flopping around You're on stage singing The ladies must love you Look at that!

[1058] Oh glorious Come on little strips of leather See but that goes too far See, because they have the Native American thing on the sleeve Let me see.

[1059] This one right here?

[1060] No, not The other one.

[1061] Well, that one's too far.

[1062] Yeah, you get too far.

[1063] If you do that one, you better kill the bear that you use for those fucking teeth.

[1064] Yeah.

[1065] That's too...

[1066] That's ridiculous.

[1067] No, there's a white guy version of that which would be okay.

[1068] That's a girl who claims to be a healer.

[1069] Right?

[1070] Yeah.

[1071] That's who would wear that.

[1072] See, if you wear that in Texas, you're okay.

[1073] Oh, my accent.

[1074] Yeah, okay.

[1075] Daniel Boone.

[1076] Let's fuck out here with that one.

[1077] That one's dark.

[1078] I don't like you wearing a dark one.

[1079] No. What do you, Prince?

[1080] Do you like that guy?

[1081] What are you, a trapper?

[1082] That's too light.

[1083] That looks terrible.

[1084] That guy looks terrible.

[1085] He's got the fringe in the bottom.

[1086] That's what's going to separate us from everybody else.

[1087] The curtains on the bottom or fringe, like a nice curtain and a fine, a fine restaurant.

[1088] Look at Elvis.

[1089] Elvis had tassels.

[1090] Elvis had rainbow tassels.

[1091] You could get away with it if you're Elvis.

[1092] If you're working for Enterprise rent a car I think you may be You don't wear that Yeah Elvis got away with some wild shit Who the fuck wore jumpsuits before Elvis?

[1093] Jump suits It was him and evil can evil Look at oh Jesus Christ Oh man look at that Hendricks Oh my God That's yeah Dude see but he's doing something He's playing a guitar He's moving around He's got a headband If you're making snow cones You don't That's not your jacket Man, I wanted one when I was in high school.

[1094] I wore moccasins for a little bit.

[1095] Put that back up.

[1096] Put that picture back up?

[1097] Look at that.

[1098] That look.

[1099] How good does it look?

[1100] And I can never wear it.

[1101] He's got fringe on a, what is it, a greenish yellow?

[1102] How would you describe that color?

[1103] It's like a teal.

[1104] Like a light teal.

[1105] A light teal.

[1106] He's got bell bottoms.

[1107] Bell bottoms.

[1108] And he's got this cool jacket with fringes that are literally two feet long.

[1109] Yeah.

[1110] And then a headband.

[1111] Dude.

[1112] And it's just his...

[1113] It's kind of fuchsia, the headband, right?

[1114] It's kind of redish.

[1115] Yeah.

[1116] Like a light red.

[1117] And it's on Jimmy Hendricks.

[1118] That's the thing that we can't match.

[1119] We could buy all those items, but it's still our head.

[1120] It's not Jimmy Hendricks.

[1121] Well, not only that, it's 2019, too.

[1122] Like, back then, like, he was in the groove.

[1123] Man, oh, man. He was the...

[1124] Phil Hartman saw him live when he was a young kid.

[1125] Phil was, like, 18 years old.

[1126] He got a job at the whiskey.

[1127] Uh -huh.

[1128] And his job was, you know how they have those giant monitors on the stage?

[1129] And sometimes those things would fall, like into the crowd.

[1130] Oh, jeez.

[1131] Right.

[1132] Like, especially if someone's standing on that or doing a show.

[1133] So, like, they're kind of, they're a little wobbly.

[1134] Yeah.

[1135] So, they're standing right there.

[1136] So his job was to stand right by the stage, like, literally have his hands, like, ready to catch these speakers.

[1137] This was Phil's job?

[1138] Yes.

[1139] And Hendricks is right there.

[1140] Hendricks is right there.

[1141] And he's 18.

[1142] Oh, man. Purple Hayes all in my brain.

[1143] Oh, my.

[1144] God.

[1145] Right in front of him.

[1146] Like the thing just don't seem the same.

[1147] Crazy.

[1148] Jeez.

[1149] Jeez, Louise.

[1150] But I don't know why.

[1151] Oh, my God.

[1152] Excuse me while I kiss the sky.

[1153] I was that close to blues traveler once.

[1154] I don't think that's the same.

[1155] All his harmonicas were right in his vest.

[1156] Shortly before Jimmy Hendrix died.

[1157] Oh, really?

[1158] Yeah.

[1159] Well, he died.

[1160] He died.

[1161] He died in like.

[1162] He was the magic age, right?

[1163] 35.

[1164] Was it?

[1165] It's 27.

[1166] I think the magic age is 27 where they're all dying.

[1167] We're Morris and Janice Chopin.

[1168] Isn't that the magic age?

[1169] Didn't he, where did he do?

[1170] 27.

[1171] Wow.

[1172] Yeah.

[1173] What year did he die?

[1174] Was it 69?

[1175] 70.

[1176] 70.

[1177] So, Phil, you know.

[1178] That's amazing.

[1179] Yeah, Phil was probably like 17 years old or something like that.

[1180] Wow.

[1181] Yeah.

[1182] God.

[1183] That's amazing.

[1184] Yeah.

[1185] Did he have it to one of those fringe jackets?

[1186] I don't know.

[1187] I didn't ask that.

[1188] But the way you describe it, man. It's the way he described it was like running into Jesus while you're out on a hike.

[1189] Oh, he had to be.

[1190] It was great.

[1191] Well, Phil was a musician too.

[1192] Yeah.

[1193] So when, you know, he'd talk about it, he had like this crazy gleam to his eye.

[1194] You know, he was like, he was right fucking there.

[1195] He was right there.

[1196] Yeah, come on.

[1197] Hendricks, please.

[1198] I wanted one of those fringe jackets when I was in high school.

[1199] So I played football until I was a senior.

[1200] And then once football season's over, I have a half a year left of school.

[1201] And that's when I smoked weed for the first time and started playing guitar.

[1202] And I won one of fringe jackets.

[1203] I didn't have them.

[1204] But I did get a pair of moccasins for a little while.

[1205] I wore moccasins.

[1206] Did they have beads?

[1207] They did not have beads.

[1208] But they had the little fringe to them.

[1209] Little tassels?

[1210] They were like, it was just a little fringe.

[1211] Yeah.

[1212] No soul.

[1213] Yeah.

[1214] What's the purpose of fringe?

[1215] Like, that's like when you think of a trapper jacket, right?

[1216] One of them, Dan, Boone, Davy Crockett type dudes.

[1217] You can't give them wearing that.

[1218] Is that what it was?

[1219] Really?

[1220] Why would they have any style back then?

[1221] Everybody's got style.

[1222] Back then, it seems like they were just trying to stay alive.

[1223] Yeah, the weak ones.

[1224] But the cool ones are still trying to get laid.

[1225] You think Daniel Boone wasn't trying to work it a little bit?

[1226] Look at this.

[1227] Buckskins are often trimmed with a fringe, originally a functional detail to allow the garment to shed rain and to dry faster when wet because the fringe asks a series of wicks to disperse the water or quill.

[1228] interesting oh there's the weight of it wow buckskins derived from deer's skin clothing worn by native americans oh wow how about that that's genius smarter than you know so it hangs down and the water goes through all the tissue in the deer and gets to the bottom so those little things get wet but the thing that you're wearing the touch of your skin is dry you would think by now that deer would have had fringe on their outfits I think they don't give a fuck you are really hot Are they?

[1229] Their body temperature is much higher than ours.

[1230] Oh, really?

[1231] Yeah, it's one of the weirder things about when you put your hands on one.

[1232] Oh, yeah?

[1233] Inside of them, they're really hot.

[1234] Like if your hands are cold.

[1235] So for like 98 degrees, what are they?

[1236] I don't know.

[1237] If I had a guess, I'd say it's more than 100.

[1238] Oh, yeah?

[1239] I'd say that, yeah, I bet they're probably like 105, something like that.

[1240] What is it?

[1241] Oh, never mind, sorry.

[1242] Well, what's the body temperature?

[1243] It brought up the cooking temperature when I hit in the temperature.

[1244] I was like, Jesus Christ, it's hot.

[1245] 350 degrees they're cooking before we even catch them that's hilarious that's why people love deer you don't have to cook them they're pre -cooked they're pre -heated same as most ungulates which is 37 .5 to 38 .5 degrees Celsius which which we don't understand well just type in that pre -heated deer meat 38 .5 degrees Celsius what do you think that is if you had a guess I don't have a clue what was the what was the number 38 degrees Celsius.

[1246] Oh, that's 105.

[1247] Is it?

[1248] No. That's like 90.

[1249] 99 .5 to 100.

[1250] It's right in the same range.

[1251] That's it.

[1252] They're like us.

[1253] One or two higher.

[1254] They're like someone with a little bit of fever.

[1255] Oh, I did something that you would enjoy.

[1256] You might have even done this.

[1257] Speaking of body heat, I was in San Francisco last weekend.

[1258] Really?

[1259] Performing.

[1260] And I was working with my friend, Kira Soltanovich, very funny comedian.

[1261] She kicks ass.

[1262] She's Russian.

[1263] She grew up.

[1264] there and she brought me to a Russian like bath house oh they beat you up with sticks yeah do you ever do that no they call it Banya Banya man oh man you go into a sauna a two -level sauna so it's even hotter like up at the top like an attic in a sauna super hot and you lay down on this bench and they take these bushes like these sticks and they wet them and then they start beating you with them not a lot of pressure it's too it's so hot it you're in a sauna you're already like really really and then that thing and that thing is hot too and that thing's hot and with the with the steam coming off of the branches as they're beating your back it creates a little a little pocket that gets even hotter so it just brings your body to the super high temperature they're making weather they really are and uh yeah for about 15 minutes And you come out of there and just feel...

[1265] Do you jump in the cold afterwards?

[1266] Yeah, into a cold plunge?

[1267] Yeah.

[1268] All the way under this really cold water.

[1269] Amazing.

[1270] Yeah, the Russians really like that.

[1271] Fadoer Emilian Inco was like one of the greatest heavyweights, if not the greatest heavyweight of all time.

[1272] One of the things that you would see about is training was that it was very old school Russian.

[1273] Like they did a lot of stuff on the park or in a playground.

[1274] Uh -huh.

[1275] Just like...

[1276] They did a lot of stuff in a playground.

[1277] and he incorporated the banya that was a part of it.

[1278] Like you see him lying there and they're beating him with sticks.

[1279] There you go.

[1280] See it on Showtime.

[1281] See there.

[1282] Yeah, that's what, yeah.

[1283] They figured something out.

[1284] You know, all the people that invented sauna, they figured something out.

[1285] There's something about that extreme temperature that just, it's very good for your ability to recuperate.

[1286] You feel better.

[1287] It reduces inflammation.

[1288] I felt great.

[1289] Like, I went in there.

[1290] I've been traveling so hard over the last couple of months.

[1291] I've just been knotted up.

[1292] I've just been like, I was like, maybe I'll do this and then get a massage after because that'll really.

[1293] Like a gentleman.

[1294] Like a gentleman.

[1295] Yeah.

[1296] And we didn't have time.

[1297] She had to go, she was driving me. She had to go do something.

[1298] So we only had time for that part.

[1299] When I came out of the Banya or Banya, I didn't need a massage.

[1300] Everything was relaxed.

[1301] Everything had changed in just like 15 minutes.

[1302] Yeah.

[1303] It was great.

[1304] Man, I wish it was, I don't know if there's, they have.

[1305] them in L .A. or not, but I'd like to seek them out.

[1306] I know they have them in New York.

[1307] There's one in West Hollywood.

[1308] There is?

[1309] Yeah.

[1310] Photo spa or something like that.

[1311] Yeah.

[1312] There you go, bro.

[1313] A lot of dons.

[1314] Keep your pants on.

[1315] A lot of dons.

[1316] Clothing was optional.

[1317] Hey.

[1318] Clothing optional.

[1319] And I'm with Kira, you know, we're like, you know, we're co -workers.

[1320] And she's wearing nothing.

[1321] She's, she's totally naked.

[1322] And then there's dongs everywhere?

[1323] There's dongs everywhere.

[1324] She sees the dons.

[1325] She sees the dons.

[1326] I see the dons.

[1327] But we were the only ones covered up.

[1328] Girls can go and donks stare in America?

[1329] What's that?

[1330] In America, can you do this?

[1331] Yeah, San Francisco.

[1332] Are you sure?

[1333] Yeah.

[1334] Girls are walking in a room with dongs?

[1335] They were naked?

[1336] The girls were naked?

[1337] Kira and I were the only ones with clothes on because we worked with each other.

[1338] Send in immigration.

[1339] Send in ICE into that place.

[1340] A dong alert.

[1341] Yeah, there's something going on in there, bro.

[1342] There's just dicks everywhere.

[1343] Open that door.

[1344] Is you cool with dicks in front of you?

[1345] I'm not.

[1346] What are they doing here?

[1347] I was looking away.

[1348] Cops just come in with fucking masks on.

[1349] On the don't alert.

[1350] Yeah, they throw one of those, one of those gas canisters that flashbangs.

[1351] Just grabbing guys by their don't don't, put them out into the paddy wagon.

[1352] They would all run out, grabbing their don't.

[1353] That's the first thing you're going to grab.

[1354] If someone throws a tear gas canister to explode in a room, I'm going to cover your raw dick first.

[1355] I'm wearing pants.

[1356] So I was the only one with pants on, and you kind of feel like everyone was looking at you, like, pussy.

[1357] You're making us feel, like, shamed because you're wearing pants.

[1358] handsome one.

[1359] It's just taking them off.

[1360] But I couldn't.

[1361] I'm with my opening act.

[1362] Yeah, that's a gay, that's a tactic.

[1363] That's what that is.

[1364] Yeah.

[1365] That's a tactic.

[1366] Yeah.

[1367] What do you mean?

[1368] It's a tactic.

[1369] They're trying to like, come on, man, show us your dick.

[1370] This is how you show us everyone you dick.

[1371] You get together with five your buddies and you all are real comfortable with seeing each other's dicks.

[1372] Right.

[1373] We're going to get to see Mikey's dick.

[1374] How are you going to do that?

[1375] We're going to shame them.

[1376] I'm going to shame him in and showing us his dick.

[1377] And we're going to take our dicks out.

[1378] We're going to walk into that steam room.

[1379] I'm just going to let you nuts hang.

[1380] Why is everyone want to see?

[1381] Hey, Mike, what the fuck are you?

[1382] What the fuck are you?

[1383] you do with your, take your goddamn pants off and he'll be like, all right, all right, Jesus.

[1384] Why does everyone want to see Mikey so bad?

[1385] Because Mikey probably has a little dick, which keeps his pants on.

[1386] That's nothing you can do about that.

[1387] I felt like everybody thinks I have a small one because I got my pants up, but that's not it.

[1388] Just get a different hobby.

[1389] What are you doing?

[1390] Yeah.

[1391] But the other thing is when you're around people like that, right?

[1392] And it's not a bad thing.

[1393] It's a life choice.

[1394] But if you're around flossy people, if you're a person who likes rose royces and giant mansions and you know you like that baller i got a big fat diamond ring lifestyle yeah that guy's around those people because he's selling diamond rings you're selling diamonds right diamonds motherfucker it's got billions from selling diamonds you want 408 million dollar who look at that blue a blue diamond 48 oh yeah a million 48 million his father bought her for his daughter wow it's a magic rock damn imagine if you're the daughter and you lose that shit you're out drinking you know you fucking pull your panties down to pee in a curb oh my god I'm so fucking hammered I lost my ring my dad's gonna kill me it just slips right off while you're throwing up throwing up in a dumpster my dad's gonna kill me yeah maybe the daughter was 40 it makes you realize that the things that you that really give you worth in life is not the It's something that's going to engage your head and make you feel a little useful.

[1395] You're way better off having less dough and something you really love.

[1396] Yeah.

[1397] But that's only if you have a certain amount of dough.

[1398] That's the problem.

[1399] The stress of not having enough money to feed yourself and feed your family and put a roof over your head.

[1400] That's overwhelming for people, especially as we were talking about earlier, if people have fucking credit card debt or student loan debt or some insurmountable amount of debt that you can't get out of.

[1401] Yeah, it just hangs on you.

[1402] Then you're not really thinking about, well, what's meaningful for my, what?

[1403] What's a meaningful hobby for me?

[1404] Oh, dude, it's the worst.

[1405] Yeah.

[1406] The feeling of debt is the fucking worst.

[1407] And then the feeling of just working for nothing, that's also bad too.

[1408] There's the feeling of like every day you're doing it just to exist.

[1409] And at the end of the day, you're exhausted.

[1410] Yeah.

[1411] So what is your life?

[1412] Yeah.

[1413] What is your life?

[1414] Is your life all this shit you hate to do?

[1415] Yeah.

[1416] Well, that's the answer for most people.

[1417] Most people, most of the time, the answer is you're doing something you hate to do.

[1418] And it's been me and I know it's been you at some point in your life.

[1419] Yeah.

[1420] But God damn, the amount that your life can change, if you just no longer have to do something you don't want to do, you could do something that you actually enjoy, whatever it is, whether it's carpentry or painting, or whatever the fuck it is that you love to do?

[1421] Do you think it has to be your work, or do you think you could be at a work where you're, like, kind of into it, but then you have some other passion that's, can that satisfy it?

[1422] But you're also, if your work isn't satisfying, that's most of your life.

[1423] Yeah.

[1424] People are, yeah, you got to do it.

[1425] going to do.

[1426] Of course you do.

[1427] Of course you have to do what you got to do.

[1428] That goes without saying.

[1429] Yeah.

[1430] So figure out of there.

[1431] Everybody's got a way out of there.

[1432] Everybody's got a way out.

[1433] Yeah.

[1434] People love to say things like that.

[1435] Like, hey, some people don't have that luxury.

[1436] People love to say things like that.

[1437] So you have to acknowledge that.

[1438] But that's the case with anyone who's ever done anything where it was hard to do.

[1439] Right.

[1440] It's always going to be hard to do.

[1441] That it's easy for you to say.

[1442] Of course it's easy for me to say.

[1443] I'm just saying it's the easiest thing in the world.

[1444] I'm going to put a rocket on the moon see i just said it wow think about how hard it's easy for you to say exactly i'm gonna course it's easy to say but the difference just as a person who's done both yeah difference between doing something you hate doing and doing something you love doing it's off the charts how much better your life is no absolutely even if you're making less money even if you're making less money exactly because you know to use comedy as an example because it's what we are when you were making five dollars a night literally five dollars a night as a comedian i'm I was so much happier than when I had a day job.

[1445] Oh, yeah.

[1446] Making real money.

[1447] Once the, I remember the feeling of being able to make a living with just stand -up.

[1448] Yeah.

[1449] Like, what?

[1450] Like, holy cow.

[1451] And not a good living, just getting by.

[1452] In my beginning was super shaky.

[1453] Yeah.

[1454] Super shaky.

[1455] Right.

[1456] Like, I started making money.

[1457] I was making like a little bit of money in Boston, but I always had day jobs.

[1458] And then when I moved to New York and then Jeff started managing me. Then I started making money He'd get me booked in places And I was doing I was working pretty much every weekend Who was Jeff?

[1459] Jeff Sussman Long time manager Yeah Started managing me when I was an open micer Wow nice Yeah we've been together forever Wow He's the best You still with him?

[1460] Wow That's amazing That's amazing He's the best I love the guy That's great He's an awesome person too And just a brilliant At his job Yeah Super low key Doesn't give a fuck about Hollywood Oh that's great But you know Yeah He understands it.

[1461] He knows what he doesn't care.

[1462] He's like, do what it makes you happy.

[1463] He just wants you to be happy.

[1464] It's awesome.

[1465] And he picked you up when you're doing open mics?

[1466] Dude, I was a scrub.

[1467] It wasn't even supposed to go on stage that night.

[1468] Really?

[1469] Yeah, he came into town.

[1470] He had managed some other comedians.

[1471] Remember Bob Nelson?

[1472] No, Bob Nelson?

[1473] Oh, yeah.

[1474] The football guy.

[1475] Yeah, yeah.

[1476] You remember all that?

[1477] Oh, my God.

[1478] He managed him.

[1479] Oh, really?

[1480] Yeah, and he produced his HBO special.

[1481] Wow.

[1482] And they were parting ways.

[1483] And they were parting ways.

[1484] and Jev was like, well, maybe I've seen everybody that I've seen in New York.

[1485] Maybe I'll take a trip to Boston.

[1486] So he took a trip to Boston and just fucking dumb luck when I was driving limos.

[1487] I wrote a joke that day.

[1488] I had this joke and I called up my friend Oliver, who was the manager at the club and I said, hey man, can I come in and do like five minutes?

[1489] Because I have this joke I want to try out.

[1490] I said, sure, come on in.

[1491] And he liked me, so he hooked me up.

[1492] And I went on stage, and I didn't even know Sussman was in the room.

[1493] Because I didn't know he was in the room.

[1494] can give a fuck.

[1495] I was super loose.

[1496] You knew who he was at that point?

[1497] No, I didn't know who he was.

[1498] You didn't know who he was.

[1499] So it just didn't, yeah.

[1500] But I knew that there was a manager from New York that handled Bob Nelson.

[1501] I'd be like, holy shit.

[1502] I'd probably freak out and choke.

[1503] I probably would have choked.

[1504] I mean, my act was shaky as fuck back then anyway.

[1505] You know, I'm only like, of course.

[1506] Two and a half, three years in a comedy, something like that.

[1507] I was terrible.

[1508] Anything did often.

[1509] Yeah.

[1510] You know what?

[1511] It was really interesting like he took me to new york to um he saw me there and then uh he took me to new york to try out he wanted to see me perform in some other clubs so he said we are you willing to come down in new york so i said sure yeah i've always wanted to i was so nervous about performing in new york yeah of course i thought new york city was different uh -huh it was like more nervous than when he came to see me the second time in boston i was more nervous to perform in new york i can't believe i was going up at catch a rising star which doesn't exist anymore yeah just legends forget it your head yeah that's a big thing it's on because you don't know it yet yeah well it was like the new york comics were always like the smart ones that was the the thought process the insecure thought process in boss like the audiences are smarter they're not going to buy your bullshit they're smarter over there yeah i know you're not funny they're gonna know they're gonna know and uh what's really funny it's like he was susman we were talking about like clean comedy versus dirty comedy and there was no real decision like you know like because back then people would like decide to be clean it wasn't like you're a clean comic because that's how you think he's like well if you want to get more work the smart moves to go clean as a business decision as a business decision should dress nice and act clean he took me to this place called uh we went to a bunch of places did eat side comedy club which is a cool comedy club that used to be in long island and then he took me this place called fast eddies and huntington and it was uh it was a local bar that had a comedy night.

[1512] Wow.

[1513] And we went upstairs and it was so, the crowd was so fucking rowdy and so drunk.

[1514] And there was a dude on stage.

[1515] His name was George Gallo.

[1516] It was hilarious dude.

[1517] Yeah.

[1518] Who was doing a reverse shit with a banana.

[1519] He was like, as you're waiting to go on.

[1520] So he had a banana that he was like, he was somehow or another slurping it.

[1521] Like it was a reverse shit.

[1522] And he's doing this in front of, you know, these people are hammered.

[1523] It's like a Wednesday night or some shit, right?

[1524] And Susson says, he grabs me by the arm, you don't have to perform here.

[1525] We're going to get out of here.

[1526] And I said, no fucking way.

[1527] I go, listen, man, I go, these are my people.

[1528] I go, just trust me. Let me go up.

[1529] My people.

[1530] I'm like, this is what I do, man. All the gigs that I got in Boston were all bar gigs.

[1531] I'm not going to handle this.

[1532] Yeah, you get hard.

[1533] You get tough.

[1534] Yeah, well, also, plus, it's once you've done a bunch of them, it's like chaos.

[1535] It's fun.

[1536] You know what to do.

[1537] You know what to do.

[1538] for sure it's a different kind of comedy it's like combat comedy yeah which it was at that time you ran into that more than you didn't run into that yeah well even today if you get uh road gigs if you're a up -and -coming guy yeah or gal and you get road especially if you're a gal yeah girls got get it way harder in the early days like people like my friend's girlfriend admitted the other day that when she sees a female comedian at a comedy club she cringes still to this day She goes, I get super uncomfortable when they start going on stage.

[1539] And when they're, if they're funny, it's a huge relief.

[1540] Oh, my God.

[1541] Isn't that crazy?

[1542] And as a feminist, I hate saying that.

[1543] It's terrible.

[1544] She goes, I consider myself a feminist.

[1545] I hate saying that.

[1546] I feel like it's gotten beyond that.

[1547] I feel like there's so many.

[1548] Oh, yeah.

[1549] Such strong.

[1550] At the top of the chain, but if you're in some weird club in the middle of nowhere and some.

[1551] Yeah, I get the, I get that, I get like, especially if you're a feminist and you're around.

[1552] You just don't want her to bomb because then you think, well, all the rest of the audience is going to think that's what all women are.

[1553] Yeah, there's that too.

[1554] And there's that she just doesn't think they're funny very often.

[1555] She's just, she's not a comic, so she's just being honest about it.

[1556] And we were laughing.

[1557] Like, oh, no. Because when a girl says that, you're like, oh, no. But back then, it was, like, every time, even in, like, good clubs, like the comic strip or Carolines, it was just like, it was war.

[1558] War.

[1559] It was war.

[1560] But nothing compared to, like, the, did you ever get any of those Bob Gonzo gigs in New Jersey?

[1561] Oh, yeah.

[1562] Oh, God.

[1563] Yeah.

[1564] It was like a frat party that never just threw you up.

[1565] They didn't want comedy.

[1566] They didn't come for comedy.

[1567] Those road gigs, though, they turn you, they season you in a different way.

[1568] They season you for like, like, the comedy store was similar to that for a long time because the comedy store in the early days had no crowd control.

[1569] Right.

[1570] I mean, literally zero, right?

[1571] So the crowd was in control.

[1572] Sometimes.

[1573] No one never shut anybody up.

[1574] No. But the new regime, it's handled so much different.

[1575] It was a new concept.

[1576] Oh, it's so much better.

[1577] It's so much better.

[1578] But it did make you bulletproof.

[1579] Yeah, you knew how to handle drugs.

[1580] You came through that time, maybe it still exists when you're going through.

[1581] But you just, if you do that many gigs, that's why I don't, I really don't believe in just going to your one little alt room over and over again.

[1582] where you know you're coddled and supported.

[1583] And I really believe that you have to go into all these hellish situations.

[1584] So you just, anywhere you go, you know you can go and kill.

[1585] Yeah.

[1586] That's an important part to being a comedian.

[1587] Yeah.

[1588] And you also, as you become a successful comedian, you could fall into the trap of only performing in front of your audience.

[1589] Right.

[1590] You know, you really do have to drop in on other people's shows.

[1591] Yeah, right.

[1592] Who people don't know who you are and why, yeah.

[1593] That's what's great about the store lineup, too, right?

[1594] There's 15 comedians.

[1595] Right.

[1596] And they're probably not there to see you.

[1597] They're probably there to see this guy or that guy or all.

[1598] Yeah.

[1599] No, it's great.

[1600] Yeah.

[1601] You know, you have to be able to survive.

[1602] Because you see people that come out of those other environments and then they get thrown into this.

[1603] And they don't know how to act.

[1604] Yeah.

[1605] I think comedy is like a lot of other things that are difficult.

[1606] There's things that you can do to get better at those.

[1607] Yeah.

[1608] You know, like they say that like if you learn languages, you could get better at chess.

[1609] I read something about that?

[1610] Does that make that up?

[1611] It sounds about that.

[1612] Google that.

[1613] If you learn a new language, it'll make you better at chess.

[1614] I might have made that up.

[1615] Just the way your brain is.

[1616] I might have been high, lying in bed, trying to think if all the different cross -training methods.

[1617] How could it be better at chess?

[1618] Do you play chess?

[1619] No, but I'm on to.

[1620] But I'm scared.

[1621] It's fun.

[1622] I'm scared.

[1623] Why?

[1624] You saw me play Quake earlier?

[1625] I have addiction problems.

[1626] I have crazy addiction problems.

[1627] Chess is addicting.

[1628] Tom Popper.

[1629] Papa walked in, and Jeff and I were going to war.

[1630] Holy cat.

[1631] We're going at it.

[1632] That was the most intense thing I've ever seen you do.

[1633] Isn't intense?

[1634] It's intense.

[1635] Both of you on the keyboard and the thing, sweating your ass off in front of these monitors.

[1636] You were taking, like, deep, deep breaths in the middle of it.

[1637] These guys are just firing off at each other.

[1638] It was intense.

[1639] You ought to try to stay calm.

[1640] And we're in this very small map.

[1641] So I always know where he is.

[1642] He always knows where I am.

[1643] And there's a limited amount of ammunition and armor.

[1644] and when you get jacked and you come back less strong with a weaker weapon you got to run to get a good weapon quick and then you got to run to get where the fucking armor is and he knows where that shit is so it's a crazy duel like oftentimes if he kills me he'll kill me two or three times in a row it was so much faster than I thought it was gonna be oh yeah I mean real intense is it always that like you're just in one courtyard one stone courtyard running around there's many many maps you can just go yeah that's a good one for one on one oh okay we have these one -on -one matches the most fun because there's no other variables right the variables of like if there's like 10 people in the room and everybody's shooting everybody which is a lot of these maps I'll show you that too that's more chaos oftentimes you get killed when you're fighting a guy and then someone comes from behind you don't even see them and they shoot you it's annoying so how addicting is this for you oh real real it's a real problem because you used to do it right yeah yeah I'm way better at now I'll do it like for an hour and then you'll be good in the old days it's very addictive but everything's addictive to me man everything I know all of it anything I like I know anything I like it becomes addictive that's why your shoulders messed up exactly that's from jujitsu but it's not the shoulder it was more of a maintenance thing it wasn't that bad it was just getting a little sore and I wanted to get looked at and there was some tendinitis in there right so I just I'm real proactive at 51 I have to be real proactive about injuries and when things feel squirrely yeah it's the problem you can get hurt then you can't work out anymore.

[1645] Mm -hmm.

[1646] I like it too much.

[1647] You know, I like, um, but even if it's not something as intense as jujitsu, I just need to do something, whether it's yoga or running.

[1648] It's like me, no workout, me work out.

[1649] I like me when I work out so much more.

[1650] I like me better.

[1651] It happened to me in, uh, San Francisco after the day after the Banya.

[1652] I'm just, I just woke up.

[1653] I had good shows Friday.

[1654] I'm just like, but I just woke up like just in a shitty mood.

[1655] just kind of and I knew if I could just get my shoes on and go for a run my whole day is going to be different and it's just a half hour just going out doing it come back and I was totally in the same room just feeling completely different it's just a mental shift you're flooding your brain with all the beautiful thoughts and ideas that happen in there and while you're running while you're breathing you got all these fucking ideas that come to your brain you get interested, you're breathing, and you're running, you're constantly, you're going to slow down a little bit here, slow down a little bit.

[1656] Then you're like, fuck yeah, we're out of here doing it.

[1657] I'm out of here running.

[1658] Woo!

[1659] Yeah, it's a big deal.

[1660] And this, who knows what chemicals are firing off in your brain?

[1661] Dude, it's my dog and me, because we run together, are like inseparable.

[1662] Really?

[1663] Dude, it's crazy.

[1664] It's hilarious.

[1665] He follows me everywhere.

[1666] Like when I sit down, he says right next to me. It's the best.

[1667] I've never had a relationship with a dog.

[1668] like this I've had dogs that I loved that were great but this dog's like stuck to me like glue it's hilarious it's so great part of it is because we run so much yeah like he gets so thrilled he's so happy when we run he turns and he'll run ahead of me and then he'll come back to me to check up on me he comes back and runs with like this big smile his face like I can't believe we're out here and they just he's running again how far are you running with him a couple miles that's good in the hills just pretty steep hills Oh, that's good.

[1669] That's a workout.

[1670] And if I'm, if I have a short time, I can do, uh, there's one real steep trail that I run.

[1671] There's one steep show that we have to drive to a little bit, but it's super steep.

[1672] Oh, yeah.

[1673] It's, uh, way out near like Agora.

[1674] Uh -huh.

[1675] That one's rough.

[1676] Yeah.

[1677] That's a rough one.

[1678] That's got to be tough.

[1679] Yeah, because it's real long.

[1680] It's like, the whole thing is the hills because the hills are no pounding.

[1681] Right.

[1682] If you can get a good hill under you, it's way harder.

[1683] Yeah.

[1684] So, I just, I based it on 140.

[1685] beats a minute.

[1686] Anytime I get below 140 beats a minute, I'd start running again.

[1687] But I'll do these sprints.

[1688] I'll go as far as I can.

[1689] I get into the 180s.

[1690] And then when I'm like, fuck, I got to take a break.

[1691] I'll just take a break and I'll look at my heartbeat, get my heartbeat down.

[1692] Somewhere in the 140s, anywhere around 145, then I'm ready to go again.

[1693] And then I'll go again.

[1694] And I'm usually like 160s running.

[1695] Dude, it's, it's rough.

[1696] Hills are rough.

[1697] They're a different thing.

[1698] But it's changed my kicking power.

[1699] Oh, yeah?

[1700] So, actually gave me more kicking power.

[1701] I can kick, believe it or not, it's probably like, I want to see like 10%, five or 10 % more power.

[1702] From the runs.

[1703] Yeah, my hips are bigger.

[1704] It's like I have these muscles around my, like my butt, like the hip area.

[1705] You know, like where your belt is, like right below where your belt is?

[1706] I never had a muscle there.

[1707] Right.

[1708] I'm like, what is that?

[1709] This is crazy.

[1710] This is all from hills.

[1711] This is all from running hills.

[1712] Wow.

[1713] So when I stomp, like if I stomp the back, like a front kick to the bag, that forward thrust is the same thing you're doing all the time when you're running.

[1714] Right.

[1715] You're running.

[1716] You're pushing off one leg and you're pushing off the other leg and you push because you're going up a hill.

[1717] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1718] So when you're kicking, you're pushing off that leg and thrusting that other leg forward.

[1719] It's crazy.

[1720] Is your dog good on the hills?

[1721] Does your dog ever get tired?

[1722] Yeah, you get tired.

[1723] Yeah.

[1724] Yeah.

[1725] When you know when they get tired, they get tired, they get tired when you throw the ball.

[1726] Right.

[1727] Then it's a sprint.

[1728] It's a sprint, and then you bring it back.

[1729] Sprint, bring it back.

[1730] That's like seven times.

[1731] Like, yo, bro, I'm coming to lie down over here.

[1732] You're like, no, no, no. Come on, man. Give me that ball.

[1733] Come on, man. My sister has to put down her dog tonight.

[1734] 16 -year -old dog.

[1735] A big, like, almost like a spaniel kind of thing.

[1736] Wow.

[1737] 16 years.

[1738] And she's just been hanging on.

[1739] She's just been the greatest.

[1740] And tonight, 7 .30.

[1741] Wow.

[1742] Just has to go.

[1743] There's no joy left.

[1744] She just can't go anymore.

[1745] It's going to be rough.

[1746] I've talked to her on my way in, and it's just like, what a brutal thing to have to do.

[1747] Yeah, it's so brutal.

[1748] 16 years.

[1749] Yeah.

[1750] My dog got hit by a car when I was like 14.

[1751] Oh.

[1752] 14 or 15 right in front of me. I was taking her across the street.

[1753] And we had a busy street near our house.

[1754] And some car came down the street really fast.

[1755] And she got off the leash and ran right into this.

[1756] Hit her in a Volkswagen.

[1757] Yeah, it was rough, dude.

[1758] I brought her up, I carried her up to the house.

[1759] Did she die instantly?

[1760] Yeah, she died in like, she died and looked in like 15, 20 minutes.

[1761] Ah, that's so brutal.

[1762] It was rough.

[1763] She started shitting all over the place.

[1764] How old was she?

[1765] She wasn't that old.

[1766] Yeah.

[1767] Maybe five or six.

[1768] Oh, it's brutal.

[1769] There's nothing worse.

[1770] Yeah.

[1771] So painful.

[1772] Sweet dog, too.

[1773] Yeah.

[1774] It was a bummer.

[1775] She just loved being in the park, and we were headed to the park, and she just got a little too excited and ran.

[1776] You know, I didn't see the car coming I didn't get a hold of her collar in time That's brutal It was so bad It was so bad But she, you know, she got knocked flying I didn't even know she was going to die You couldn't tell It was all the injuries were internal I brought her upstairs She started shitting herself She started shitting all over the place That was very unusual for her She was house trained Yeah You know and I was really scared Have you had to go through Any pet deaths with your kids yet?

[1777] yeah yeah the two my two dogs i just had to put both of my dogs down my dogs oh for real yeah yeah they were um 13 it was a mastiff and he was 13 wow that's great run for a mastiff at the end i used to have to carry him into the house yeah he couldn't walk anymore he would walk like literally he would be like he would walk a step walk a step and then just stay and his legs would be shaking walk a step oh it's so sad how did the kids handle it they were really sad it's hard man isn't that the hardest thing when you watch your kids have to deal with it so it makes it so much harder yeah they're trying to be brave i think there's a lesson in it you know oh for real i think it's uh it's not a good experience but i think it's good for them to experience oh yeah yeah absolutely especially that you know like pet death and and and just just having those little relationships with animals you know when you're a kid it's like Like, your dog, you can always talk to them.

[1778] Oh, yeah.

[1779] You can say crazy shit to your dog.

[1780] You know, your dog can be sitting in your room with you.

[1781] And you go, you know what?

[1782] It's just you and me. You're the only one understands me. Right.

[1783] Your parents are acting like assholes.

[1784] No one likes you in the house, but your dog still does.

[1785] I know my parents are a piece of shit, but you're not.

[1786] You're the best.

[1787] Everyone yells at me. Get over here.

[1788] You're going to come with me. Let's go.

[1789] When I move out, I'm taking the dog, mom.

[1790] Oh, it's the best.

[1791] but watching your kids, like, trying to be brave, trying not to cry.

[1792] That is such a heartbreaker.

[1793] Just trying to be like, I'm okay.

[1794] Oh, it's just the worst.

[1795] Yeah.

[1796] This will kill me. Hey, do you notice by your house, we have mosquitoes now.

[1797] Really?

[1798] We have, like, legit, we never had mosquitoes out here.

[1799] There's just, like, real mosquitoes.

[1800] And they bite you only from, like, your knee down.

[1801] town.

[1802] Everybody around where I live is saying the same thing.

[1803] We've never had mosquitoes.

[1804] If you just wear pants, then your problem is solved.

[1805] I only wear pants.

[1806] So how they biting you?

[1807] Well, I take my shoes off once in a while.

[1808] Don't do that.

[1809] You're right, though.

[1810] I have noticed mosquitoes.

[1811] I noticed some last night.

[1812] We never had them in Southern California before.

[1813] I don't know where they're coming from.

[1814] Well, we definitely had them.

[1815] We just didn't have many of them.

[1816] And this is how I know we had them.

[1817] I moved into a house once in Encino and no one had lived there for like at least a year, I think, and the pool had not been tended to.

[1818] So the pool was filled with mosquito larva.

[1819] Ooh.

[1820] And bro, I mean, it's like fish, like schools of fish.

[1821] Oh, my God.

[1822] Swimming around there.

[1823] And I was freaking out.

[1824] I was like, what is that?

[1825] Are these fish?

[1826] And I, you know, hired this guy, Kevin the pool guy came over and he was like, bro, those are mosquito larva.

[1827] Oh, my God.

[1828] No way.

[1829] Oh, maybe that's where they all came from.

[1830] It's a new thing.

[1831] I mean, we used to have our doors open, our Windows open, no screens, no problem.

[1832] But now all of a sudden, just this last year.

[1833] Yeah, we're so sad.

[1834] You have to live like the rest of the world now.

[1835] I don't.

[1836] Why do I live here if I have to put screens on my windows?

[1837] Do you think that'll last?

[1838] Will it change?

[1839] I don't know.

[1840] Have you heard about this?

[1841] Do you see that shit that I posted yesterday about that yellow mustard plant?

[1842] Yeah.

[1843] It's called black mustard.

[1844] It looks so beautiful.

[1845] I was like, oh, that's nice.

[1846] And it was the most ominous posting, though.

[1847] Well, it's very strange, man, because this shit didn't exist before.

[1848] Like, I never saw, like, on the same hills where I'm seeing it dominate the hill.

[1849] Yeah.

[1850] It literally didn't exist a year ago.

[1851] And now it's just like an invasive plant.

[1852] Yeah, it's a crazy plant.

[1853] I just looked up mosquitoes in Los Angeles and the things, it's an article from the end of last year, but it says, have you experienced an unusual number of mosquitoes bites this summer?

[1854] Mostly below the, excuse me, mostly below the knee and especially around your ankles.

[1855] How about that?

[1856] It's called an aid.

[1857] It's called 80s.

[1858] In the AIDS, bud?

[1859] A -E -D -Bug?

[1860] An AIDS bug?

[1861] You have A -E -D -E -S, and it's a real problem.

[1862] Wow.

[1863] Yeah, it's a problem.

[1864] It's a real problem.

[1865] What do I live in Maine?

[1866] He just read it.

[1867] A -E -D -E -S, and it's a real problem.

[1868] Oh, that's funny.

[1869] They're spreading like wildfire, says Susan Clue, director of scientific and technical research services for the greater Los Angeles County Vector Control District.

[1870] Sounds like Suzanne needs money for a fucking business.

[1871] That's what sounds like to me, bro.

[1872] Our phones are exploding.

[1873] Fake news.

[1874] kidding Los Angeles is home to two particularly troubling types of invasive AD's mosquitoes oh man Look at that The Asian tiger mosquito arrived first Having hitched a ride with shipments of lucky bamboo from China You and your bamboo I don't think my post would have barbells I think it's like a polymer China in 2001 Vector Control Specialist monitored plant nurseries across the county and soon stopped finding the mosquitoes in their traps.

[1875] They thought the insects had been eradicated.

[1876] However, in 2011, residents in El Monte began to complain about unusually aggressive, daytime -biting mosquitoes plaguing the neighborhood.

[1877] Yes, in the daytime.

[1878] Mosquitoes.

[1879] This is happening.

[1880] They've been infiltrated.

[1881] What do you think would happen if people started seeing malaria in America?

[1882] Why hasn't that happened?

[1883] Good question I'm sure Dr. Peter Hotez Could have explained that to us right When he was talking about infectious diseases from Malariaism I know when I was still living in Ohio West Nile virus would pop up a lot with mosquitoes They're not like every day or anything like that But I know they'd have to spray certain neighborhoods all the time Like stay in, keep your kids and keep your pets in We're spraying your neighborhood Yeah man West Nile I didn't sign up for this How about signing up for spraying That's scary than the West Nile because the spray's going to get to everybody.

[1884] They used to spray when I was a kid in New Jersey.

[1885] They would spray for the gypsy moths.

[1886] Jesus.

[1887] They just come with, they wouldn't even tell us.

[1888] They're just like, look at that plane and shit would be coming out of its ass end.

[1889] Think of the difference between the way a butterfly gets treated and a moth.

[1890] Yeah.

[1891] Well, moths deserve it.

[1892] Dirty.

[1893] Isn't it funny?

[1894] Butterfly's beautiful.

[1895] They're a little chalky and they have a plain color.

[1896] They've got like that fur on their head.

[1897] They're the same thing.

[1898] No, they're great.

[1899] gray or white.

[1900] Yeah, but it's only the way they look.

[1901] Yeah, the butterfly's beautiful.

[1902] But isn't that crazy?

[1903] Orange and black.

[1904] Like, we love them.

[1905] Love them.

[1906] You find a spider, you stomp it.

[1907] You would never go to a zoo and go into the moth house.

[1908] If you kill a ladybug, you're an asshole.

[1909] Oh, completely.

[1910] You're a type of person who kills ladybugs?

[1911] Yeah.

[1912] But if you don't kill Roach, I can't hang out with you.

[1913] If you let a roach run across your kitchen floor, you're like, Sadanam Roach, Satnam, Namaste.

[1914] I save all.

[1915] Kill that fucking thing.

[1916] You got a roach, you.

[1917] your kitchen lady.

[1918] Right?

[1919] Yeah, absolutely.

[1920] But a ladybug has a little couple dots on it.

[1921] Why are we racist with bugs?

[1922] Because there's such a thing as beauty.

[1923] Okay, that's why squirrels get a pass and rats don't.

[1924] Yes.

[1925] Bushy tail.

[1926] Yeah, looking cute.

[1927] A little style like a fringe jacket.

[1928] Imagine the tail was just because they found out if the tails grew bushy, people would stop killing them.

[1929] Yeah.

[1930] I mean, what's more disgusting than just a skin tail with nothing on it?

[1931] Awesome.

[1932] A possum's tail.

[1933] Possums don't even cause any problems.

[1934] They're disgusting.

[1935] Possom tail, you like, ew, you little fucking rigid.

[1936] Get the bat!

[1937] Little hands.

[1938] Get the bat.

[1939] Little hands and your little reptile tail.

[1940] Creak, a little fat.

[1941] A little bity eyes.

[1942] Disgusting.

[1943] Yeah, but like, we have certain animals that we like, like raccoons.

[1944] Look, we don't like raccoons when they're eating out of your garbage, but...

[1945] No. If someone had a pet raccoon, you would think that's the dopes thing ever.

[1946] We have...

[1947] We secretly want relationships with raccoons.

[1948] If they would only...

[1949] only be nicer to us.

[1950] Yes.

[1951] We would embrace raccoons.

[1952] Raccoons don't want to have shit to do with us.

[1953] They don't.

[1954] I don't get it.

[1955] They're smart.

[1956] We're too smart for us.

[1957] We're nice to them.

[1958] These people are assholes.

[1959] Just wait until they go to sleep and eat their trash.

[1960] We'll just eat their garbage.

[1961] Save it or eat their garbage.

[1962] Yeah, they put lids on it.

[1963] That shit doesn't work.

[1964] They've got that cool black mask.

[1965] Yeah, you lift the lid.

[1966] You throw it aside.

[1967] You pull the bag out.

[1968] They have hands.

[1969] I know.

[1970] They have people hands.

[1971] They do have the little tiny people hands.

[1972] I know.

[1973] They can grab stuff, smoke cigarettes, hang out.

[1974] Yeah.

[1975] They also kill chickens.

[1976] Well, so do we.

[1977] Do you know who's a real predator?

[1978] Skunks.

[1979] Skunks are predators.

[1980] There's a skunk living in the back of my yard.

[1981] Sprayed my dog.

[1982] Oh, no. It's still there?

[1983] I think so.

[1984] Come on, bro.

[1985] Man up.

[1986] What am I going to do?

[1987] Take out the skunk, hazmat suit, baby gun.

[1988] Time to go to go to war.

[1989] I got to go crawl into the thing and find him.

[1990] Crawl into the thing.

[1991] He go, look at this fucking hand.

[1992] Look at her.

[1993] rat who's hand that shit's crazy it's like he's flaunting he's like yeah look at that his hand is so much smaller than his face it's crazy imagine if your hand was that small in relationship to the size of your head he's adorable though isn't he he is a cute little fellow he's like look at look you think i'm staying out of your garbage no way look what i'm working with do they have opposable thumbs look what i'm working with didn't quite seem like no it looks it looks like five fingers with no thumb right that's the thing they never figured out look at his teeth.

[1994] They never figured it out like they had meetings.

[1995] They're in jazz hands.

[1996] Dudes, we just need a thumb.

[1997] Let me see the teeth there.

[1998] Look when he's got his mouth open.

[1999] Look that.

[2000] Whoa, that would hurt.

[2001] That would really hurt.

[2002] That would fucking suck.

[2003] Look, one of them's chipped.

[2004] Yeah, from biting you in the head.

[2005] Do you think if a raccoon attacked you could fight it off?

[2006] No. Well, you could stomp it.

[2007] What would you do?

[2008] Would you give up?

[2009] It might cut your neck.

[2010] When would you decide we're going to the death?

[2011] Immediately.

[2012] Immediately?

[2013] Yeah.

[2014] He wouldn't try to talk to Raccoon out of this?

[2015] No. Fuck off.

[2016] As soon as he makes a move, I'm ready.

[2017] Because I've been thinking about it since childhood.

[2018] Oh, look at that one.

[2019] I don't want that one bite my nose.

[2020] It looks like a hyena.

[2021] No. Fucked a raccoon and made that thing.

[2022] I've been thinking these things are coming after us my whole life.

[2023] So if he makes a move, it's on.

[2024] Bro, those teeth are goddamn terrifying.

[2025] Jesus.

[2026] Look at those teeth.

[2027] No, and they're sneaky.

[2028] That's a big thing, too.

[2029] And they're filled with rabies.

[2030] Filled.

[2031] Yeah, to the top.

[2032] Like their balls are heavy with radio.

[2033] It's just ooze them out of them.

[2034] Like two water balloons.

[2035] Raccoons, strongest sense is touch.

[2036] Ooh, I touch you.

[2037] When raccoons rely on their hands more than their eyes.

[2038] I'm going to touch you now.

[2039] Studies suggest that their sensitivity to touch increases when their hands are wet, which might be why they always wash their food.

[2040] I just wash my hands and now I am going to touch you when you sleep.

[2041] I am going to touch you and your children while you are sleeping with my five finger hands.

[2042] Like if a rat was as big as a raccoon and tried to kill you, you'd be fucking terrified.

[2043] No, we'd be spraying.

[2044] Oh.

[2045] If there were rat -sized things just going through L .A. But why, do you think we'll spray for these mosquitoes?

[2046] I think it's time to call our congressman.

[2047] Well, I think that everyone's afraid of chem trails.

[2048] And if you start spraying...

[2049] Oh, geez.

[2050] Circling Great of Los Angeles dropping poison down.

[2051] That's the rat with the pizza?

[2052] Oh, yeah, the pizza rat.

[2053] He's famous.

[2054] Rats are disgusting, too.

[2055] Yeah, they're pretty gross.

[2056] Have you ever seen that Netflix documentary?

[2057] On rats?

[2058] Yeah.

[2059] Oh, no. Dude.

[2060] Oh, dude.

[2061] Yeah.

[2062] You need to watch it.

[2063] Because it's educational.

[2064] It's not just gross, and it's really gross.

[2065] But when you realize how many of them there really are in major cities.

[2066] Yeah.

[2067] The biomass of them.

[2068] It's stunning.

[2069] Really?

[2070] New York's all rat.

[2071] It's just rats.

[2072] It's as many rats.

[2073] It's more or somewhere in the next.

[2074] neighborhood of as many rats as there are people really and there's eight million people and there's how many more as many or more jeez yeah just i don't think they know i mean you see them nonstop walking around they're just guessing yeah obviously most of them are subterranean most of them are living in houses and most of them and i mean they burrow their way into tiny little holes how long does a rat live that's a good question how long does a rat live because they're born there's a lot of them but do they stick around for like 20 years dude the documentary showed how they send young rats to try out poison really yeah the old suicide rats they send them out there because they don't know any better they let them die they're just assholes wow yeah they here's a little tip if they're ever doing construction in new york in front of a restaurant you don't eat it you don't eat on that street why because they're digging it up whatever their little ecosystem is and they're just yeah so if they're digging up the street there dine somewhere else i would imagine in new york it must be so hard to keep them out of a restaurant Oh, it's got to be so hard.

[2075] Like, I guess maybe you leave some in the dumpster for them.

[2076] Like, you give a little offering to the monsters.

[2077] Just a head.

[2078] Yeah, like when they used to tie the girl onto the steaks for Kong.

[2079] All right.

[2080] So you'd leave everybody else alone.

[2081] I had a little shish kebab stick.

[2082] It's like your last job when you're closing down the restaurant.

[2083] You pull the gate down.

[2084] The rats are our friends.

[2085] Put the skulls out.

[2086] Well, but it is interesting.

[2087] What are those?

[2088] Various sizes of them.

[2089] of them.

[2090] They mostly go up to about two pounds.

[2091] He says in New York City he doesn't think there's any that are three because they'd be too big to be able to move around.

[2092] Right.

[2093] It's like a physiological limit to their size.

[2094] Does it say how long they live?

[2095] Average about two years, one to two years in the wild, up to four if you have it as a pet.

[2096] Oh, wow.

[2097] That's it?

[2098] My wife used to have pets.

[2099] Hamsters are like that.

[2100] My wife had rats for pets when she was a kid.

[2101] Was she goff?

[2102] No. She was just a Jersey kid, just loved animals, and she would just ride her bike around in this rat with just be like on her shoulders.

[2103] Oh, Jesus Christ.

[2104] Weird rat lady.

[2105] Weird.

[2106] Yeah, it's weird.

[2107] But I get it if it's your pet.

[2108] But she said they were super smart and super affectionate.

[2109] Yeah.

[2110] If you had it, it's a whole life and you raise it right.

[2111] Yeah, why not?

[2112] Yeah, it's not dirty.

[2113] It's not like going through the sewers and eating poo and climbing on your head.

[2114] Right.

[2115] But it would if you just let it go.

[2116] Maybe.

[2117] 100%.

[2118] She like had it out with her.

[2119] Go rat like.

[2120] If you just let it, let it loose in the wild.

[2121] How long would it take for her?

[2122] How long would it take?

[2123] for a domesticated rat to adapt to living in, like, a New York City sewer.

[2124] 40 seconds.

[2125] What do you think they would do?

[2126] That would be a crazy fucking Disney movie.

[2127] Hey, look at you from the suburbs.

[2128] What have you been living in a house?

[2129] Yeah, with like, you know, those multicolored rats?

[2130] They have, like, all these cute little different colors on them.

[2131] Oh, you're so clean with your pink hair.

[2132] Oh, you got different colors.

[2133] Look at you.

[2134] Hey, Joe, get a load of this one.

[2135] He's not even gray.

[2136] Hey, how come you ain't gray Look at you You're white You're brown You're like a fucking dog over there You think you're better than us Don't you?

[2137] Yeah, get over here I guess you don't know How to get into the restaurant Do you?

[2138] You're looking hungry What do you got money on you?

[2139] You give us some money We'll show you where you get all the good food Yeah You ever been in a little Italy Wait till I show you What a shit roll of dives getting born a rat being born a rat oh the worst terrible nobody likes you no one likes you but you do survive pretty well you'd be better off being a havelina what's a havelina it's a peckery what's a peckery it's like a cousin to a pig what's a pig you ever see that havelina when Doug lives you know Doug lives in Bisbee Arizona Stanhope um who by the way I think it's so it's sold out but he's taping his uh his uh his next special in Vegas next month oh nice yeah in Vegas that's cool where he lives in bisby like he basically that's that's a havelina he lives really close to the border like I think he's only like six miles in the border or some crazy shit um and um these things live in the wild out in the desert right fucking they're aggressive ew and they fucked up his neighbor's dog they killed his neighbor's dog no yeah man they the dog was out and the havelinas will flank it like they get on both sides of it and they hunt like in a pack yeah they hunt in a pack and they they will attack a small dog ew that thing's disgusting yeah they're gross that's that's like a giant rat it looks like a giant rat well it does it looks like a pig fucked a rat oh somebody shot it in the face bill crossbow people hunt them all the time looks like a pig fucked a rat you see that guy shot one it does look like a pig fucked a rat it does yeah click on the guy who shot one Yeah, bull and arrow.

[2140] A lot of guys hunt them with archery equipment.

[2141] See, wouldn't it be better if he was dressed in like a coat with a tie in those boots?

[2142] No, because you don't want that thing to see you.

[2143] Look at that.

[2144] That's a rat face.

[2145] Bro, that is such a...

[2146] Please go back to that picture.

[2147] That last picture.

[2148] On a giant body.

[2149] Scroll back to that last one and make it bigger again.

[2150] Yeah.

[2151] Bro, that guy's hunting rats.

[2152] Ew.

[2153] Look at its teeth.

[2154] That's like a slightly different looking rat.

[2155] Ew.

[2156] Oh, you want to know what's really crazy.

[2157] That's a giant rat.

[2158] That's a hundred pound rats.

[2159] Yeah Without a tail That's so gross And you know What's really crazy Is those animals They're the best animal To a call Now what a call is Is like you'd make a sound Of a wounded animal No you make like Like something that's suffering Like people take their hand Like These fuckers Run in They run in Yes, they're so aggressive It's crazy to watch Because they think something's hurt And I can go eat it But they have to act quick Because there's coyotes out there And mountain's out there So when something's hurting And they hear like fuck food And they just run towards it So when you're bow hunting You almost have to have one person Make the call And you're at full draw And then they start calling And the things come running in And you shoot at them Yeah it's crazy Because you couldn't get to the bow You wouldn't get the ball Because they'd see you And they'd go Fuck it's a guy And it would turn it off the other way again.

[2160] Yeah.

[2161] Are these like invasive?

[2162] Are they all over his property?

[2163] No, they're natural.

[2164] No, but I mean, are they not invasive?

[2165] But, I mean, is there a lot of them?

[2166] Yes.

[2167] There's like a ton around where he lives.

[2168] They exist.

[2169] Yeah.

[2170] I mean, they exist in the desert.

[2171] I mean, they exist in healthy enough populations that you people hunt for them.

[2172] Wow.

[2173] And they eat them.

[2174] They say they taste good.

[2175] Yeah.

[2176] I wouldn't eat that.

[2177] But you eat a pig.

[2178] Yeah, but they're cuter.

[2179] Wild boar?

[2180] Crazy tusks looking.

[2181] Yeah, those are gross too Pretty gross too No, my pigs My kids Look at this The ones I have bow ties They're climbing around This guy's garage And little tap shoes Sometimes a hat Look at this shit They're staring them down They're standing them down They're in his garage There's a whole bunch of them What in the fuck is that?

[2182] Right on your kid's toy Look at his It's hair's up It's a threatening way Look at that It's just gonna take a dump In your driveway Dude you do not want that in your life I don't want to live there There's a fucking 20 of them in this guy's driveway See that one there in the back How many?

[2183] Roll that back again How many were there?

[2184] There was like 12.

[2185] What is the name of that video for people Want to watch it?

[2186] Wild havelinas make a visit to Arizona home Wild Havelina Yeah, no, no, no, I know you can't show it.

[2187] Those fucking things are everywhere.

[2188] There's a lot of them.

[2189] With a wild hevelina.

[2190] How many of them there are?

[2191] At least eight.

[2192] At least eight and then there's the one that was on top of the, there's nine and then there's one that was on top of the truck and there's one that you can see through the fence yeah and there's probably more out there too oh it's going in the car it's going in the kid's little car Jesus Christ it's in the passenger seat of the car oh my god gross fucking creatures I feel like wild havelina is like a Dean Martin's song you think so look at all of them over there look at all them fuck man they're weird looking too they look like they're demons I don't like them at all your little beady eyes like they're up to no good but if you're a little kid you're thinking like I wouldn't I wouldn't live there because that's there but if you live in New York you've at night who knows what's climbing all around your building right could be eagles and shit right is that what you're talking about no Google I'd a rat get into my house in Google Havillina eats baby let's see if that's ever happened yeah human baby let's see if that happened What do you think?

[2193] If a Havelina ate a human?

[2194] Yeah.

[2195] Like, you see those fucking things?

[2196] 20 in that guy's driveway.

[2197] Oh, they've definitely eaten babies.

[2198] I'm exaggerating.

[2199] It wasn't 20.

[2200] Someone's eating a baby right now.

[2201] It's probably 13.

[2202] It was probably 12.

[2203] A baker's dozen.

[2204] A baker's dozen.

[2205] A bevelina.

[2206] Yeah, they would eat a baby.

[2207] A toddler?

[2208] Yeah.

[2209] Knock it down?

[2210] Yeah.

[2211] I mean, if they eat a dog.

[2212] Yeah.

[2213] You think they're scared of people?

[2214] They obviously weren't scared of that dude.

[2215] No. That's a full -brown person.

[2216] And a baby doesn't have fur, doesn't have anything.

[2217] I know I put his hair up.

[2218] Spikes up to let you know It's threatened Did I ever tell you the story When I pulled a rat out of my Pool vacuum Ew Was it alive?

[2219] No Did it stink?

[2220] It stunk I'm like why isn't the vacuum working Did you think about it?

[2221] And I dove in and I pulled it up And there was a half a rat Its ass sticking out the vacuum And as soon as I got it above the water Flies just and I had to pull it out without it There's a question.

[2222] Where the fuck are the flies before the shit?

[2223] Good question.

[2224] Where the fuck are they?

[2225] All over.

[2226] They're not that many.

[2227] Like if you're around like a person's backyard.

[2228] Yeah.

[2229] How often you see flies?

[2230] Every now and then there's one.

[2231] It's kind of annoying.

[2232] But if you just pulled your pants down and shot on the ground, there would be flies on that with a batter of moments.

[2233] Oh, you mean right after I swam?

[2234] Yeah.

[2235] Right after you swam.

[2236] shaft right on their lawn you mean you're after swim shit yeah yeah and then all of a sudden they show up yeah it's disgusting and it happened so fast so gross it's like all the sudden they're all over it yeah like where'd you guys come from we should just stay inside did you find a baby death from a havelina a couple months ago a couple people in Arizona were attacked and they had like a woman was bit while she was walking her dogs another guy was bit while he was feeding them and he didn't feed it fast enough and it bit them that's about is most like a fine.

[2237] Well, the lady who got bit, that's the scary one.

[2238] Because the guy who fed him is an asshole.

[2239] Yeah, right.

[2240] The scary one, there was a lady who got bit by a coyote recently in Dallas.

[2241] Oh, yeah?

[2242] No, no, no. Yeah, it was around the Dallas area.

[2243] I think they think that there's this one coyote that's been biting people.

[2244] It's a rogue, unusual coyote.

[2245] It's been snapping at people.

[2246] Oh, really?

[2247] Yeah, they had bite marks on their legs.

[2248] Oh, my God.

[2249] Yeah, it's gross, man, because they will kill you.

[2250] Ew.

[2251] They would kill you.

[2252] They're just small.

[2253] They're just not sure if it's worth the effort and you're around people and they're worried that, you know.

[2254] One -on -one could you fight off a coyote?

[2255] I don't know if you could, man. I don't know if you could if you had to, but they'll fuck you up, man. They just keep biting.

[2256] If there's a few of them, that's where the real problem comes.

[2257] They bite you in the right spot.

[2258] Yeah, man, they rip your tendons apart.

[2259] You won't be able to run away.

[2260] They know what they're doing, too.

[2261] You know, they know what they're doing.

[2262] They try to take your legs out.

[2263] I mean, they know what they're doing.

[2264] They're not going to try to jump up and bite you in the neck.

[2265] They're going to try to take your.

[2266] your hamstrings out right yeah trying to rip your legs apart so you can't run why are they so mean that's how they're alive you're not leaving any food out for them are you no they got to do what they got to do it's called domestication that's how we have dogs do you ever take your family camping i have not yeah i haven't either i would though i wanted to take my uh kids to yosemite because i love yosemite do you bring a piece sidearm nothing nothing just went solo we weren't camping we're staying in and in we're staying in and in What about emergency food?

[2267] No emergency.

[2268] Satellite phone.

[2269] Just a phone.

[2270] First aid kit?

[2271] Nothing.

[2272] A bag of funnions and an iPhone.

[2273] That's all you need.

[2274] And I want to show them Yosemite because it's such a great part of my life.

[2275] I love it.

[2276] I've lived in the back country for like a week at a time.

[2277] I just love the whole thing.

[2278] And I'm telling them about it.

[2279] I'm building it up.

[2280] They're like, you know, begrudgingly going.

[2281] They're all vegetarians.

[2282] They just love nature.

[2283] They just love whatever.

[2284] So I'm like, you're going to love Yosemite.

[2285] as we drove into the park.

[2286] Welcome to Yosemite.

[2287] I ran over a squirrel.

[2288] The horror inside the car.

[2289] Dad, you didn't even slow down.

[2290] What's wrong?

[2291] You're a monster.

[2292] I'm like, I can't.

[2293] It's two lanes.

[2294] There's a guy behind me, a guy in front.

[2295] I just would steamroll the squirrel.

[2296] They were so, they ruined the whole weekend.

[2297] Anytime I'd be like, look at this.

[2298] Look at this beautiful view.

[2299] You killed a squirrel.

[2300] you didn't even care that's the weird part dad you didn't even care is that what they're saying yeah what was supposed to cry I was just laughing cry like a bitch yeah exactly but that's funny because if you killed a deer you'd be sadder right yeah oh god damn it can't believe that I can't believe how beautiful she is she was so nice with her little eyes and the little tail but if you kill a peckery yeah if you're killing them hobolinas like that fucking rat thing I'm gonna find its mom That Havillina would ruin your car.

[2301] Bite your teeth.

[2302] He'd probably use its teeth to tear your tires apart.

[2303] Then you'd be stuck in the side of the road trying to change the tire.

[2304] You'd turn around.

[2305] There's a whole pack of them closing in on you.

[2306] Would you not take your family because of all of this?

[2307] Revenge.

[2308] Do you not want them in the woods with you?

[2309] What am I, a danger in the woods?

[2310] Or become a werewolf?

[2311] What the fuck is that?

[2312] You just got to stay in the tech tonight.

[2313] Trust me. I'll be right back.

[2314] Not that you're the threat.

[2315] Run.

[2316] that you'd have to protect them from all the threats?

[2317] Well, I mean, Yosemite doesn't have that many threats other than people.

[2318] Bears?

[2319] They have black bears.

[2320] Yeah, most of the time.

[2321] Mountain lions?

[2322] Mountain lions are an issue.

[2323] There's always something out there.

[2324] Grizzly bears.

[2325] Or you just don't feel like that's a...

[2326] Because you like going out in the nature.

[2327] You go do all that stuff.

[2328] I do like going into nature.

[2329] I also like being indoors.

[2330] Like sleeping in a place where it's awesome to sleep.

[2331] People wiser than me have figured out that that maneuver is called a bed with a roof and a locked door and a refrigerator, you fucking cave person.

[2332] Oh, I'm going to rough it.

[2333] I'm going to sleep on the ground.

[2334] You don't have to?

[2335] Did you know that?

[2336] Do you sleep in a house?

[2337] Yeah, but when you go hunting and stuff, don't you sleep in the woods?

[2338] Sometimes.

[2339] Most of the time, no. I'm going to have.

[2340] Oh, you don't?

[2341] You go back and sleep.

[2342] Depends on what guys I go with.

[2343] Right.

[2344] Like if I go with Steve Ronella, we always almost always go camping.

[2345] Uh -huh.

[2346] Except for when we're at our friend Doug Doug.

[2347] Durin's place, which is, uh, he lives in Wisconsin, and he's got a, a giant farm, we hunt deer on, hunt a deer on there.

[2348] And, uh, that place, he's got a cool little, little, like a deer hunting house.

[2349] Oh, yeah?

[2350] That's near the, yeah.

[2351] Like a cabin?

[2352] It's like a house.

[2353] It's like a house.

[2354] Oh, nice.

[2355] Yeah, it's a small house that everybody, uh, like, hangs out in, and different spots there, yeah, right, right.

[2356] Right.

[2357] Right.

[2358] Yeah, I'd like to take my kids camping.

[2359] There's something nice about sleeping in the woods and here in nature.

[2360] You know what else is cool?

[2361] Not getting eaten.

[2362] HBO.

[2363] Take a shower in the morning.

[2364] That's nice.

[2365] Yeah, you've got a point.

[2366] Coffee, that's the big thing.

[2367] Look, there's nothing better than a campfire.

[2368] I know.

[2369] Hanging out, especially at the end of a long day of hiking.

[2370] Yeah, the best.

[2371] You've got a campfire.

[2372] And if you get one of those little grates over the campfire, you start cooking, cook over the campfire.

[2373] Oh, it's the best.

[2374] It's one of the best things in life.

[2375] I know.

[2376] Yeah.

[2377] And I feel like my kids don't have that connection because, uh...

[2378] Do you worry about being with them in the woods?

[2379] Yeah, a little bit.

[2380] If anybody gets hurt, it's hard to get out.

[2381] Yeah, and just that, you know, it's like if you and I went, we're both responsible for, we'd help each other out, but you got your act to get, what?

[2382] I'm going to leave you behind.

[2383] I'm sorry, what?

[2384] I'm going to say that again?

[2385] Yeah, I just, I can't.

[2386] I cannot.

[2387] Like, two guys are planning a can't.

[2388] camping trip.

[2389] Like, hey, I mean, we're going to look out for each other.

[2390] I'm going to leave you behind.

[2391] I'm going to go camping with you, but I'm not, I can't handle any adversity.

[2392] I will fall apart.

[2393] Just don't.

[2394] Where you going?

[2395] And we're not going in too far.

[2396] I will walk one mile.

[2397] When the alarm goes off and we go one mile, we camp.

[2398] Dude, seriously, you're not going to help me out?

[2399] No. I'll call somebody when I get home.

[2400] Hey, he's back there.

[2401] Look, my A mile.

[2402] I don't know.

[2403] Something like a mile.

[2404] Just follow the blood.

[2405] He's got a backpack full of slim jims.

[2406] He'll be all right.

[2407] It'll be good.

[2408] He's got enough food on.

[2409] Well, I left him one liter of my piss.

[2410] He can drink that.

[2411] Just on his leg where I peed.

[2412] What a horrible camping commandant.

[2413] I got good news and bad news.

[2414] The bad news is I don't have any water.

[2415] The good news is I have to pee.

[2416] So what do you want to do?

[2417] Open your mouth.

[2418] You want to die?

[2419] You want to me to fill up your Naljean bottle.

[2420] Awful.

[2421] No, but if you go with your kids and you're like, you're responsible for everybody and everything.

[2422] Yep.

[2423] That's pretty, yeah.

[2424] Maybe just a hike.

[2425] Well, there's nothing wrong with camping with your kids.

[2426] It's a good idea.

[2427] Just, you know, you have to, you should, if you really are going to go camping, you definitely should bring first aid and definitely bring a satellite phone.

[2428] And you can camp in places that, you know, you're not backcountry a mile in.

[2429] You could just, you know, pull up, walk, 200 feet Or get yourself a fucking airstream son pull that bitch behind the truck part turn the generator on satellite TV that would be fun you can rent those things you can rent those you can rent those and just Fox News in the middle of the park Tucker Carlson's right yelling out the window with the deer making friends I think I would like to, like, load them up in a RV kind of situation.

[2430] Go see the Grand Canyon.

[2431] Oh, like a Utah.

[2432] Like Chevy Chase.

[2433] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2434] I think that could be fun.

[2435] Two more people just died in the Grand Canyon.

[2436] What?

[2437] Fell.

[2438] Yeah.

[2439] Really?

[2440] Yeah.

[2441] Why?

[2442] They're not doing the railings?

[2443] I don't know.

[2444] I don't know what happened.

[2445] I just read two more people just fell to their death in the Grand Canyon.

[2446] Really?

[2447] Let's see if you find out what's going on.

[2448] That was one of the first hikes I did with my father.

[2449] We were doing the switchbacks.

[2450] What did you say, Jim?

[2451] I don't know if there's a reason why it's like one guy who just got too close and slipped.

[2452] I need to know.

[2453] Slipped off the edge.

[2454] Stop falling.

[2455] If I had Google Glass, I didn't know it already.

[2456] Yeah, if I had that memory link wire thing that Jamie's worried about.

[2457] Jamie's going to be the first one to get it and then he's going to like organize and make sure that no one else gets it.

[2458] My thought on that too is like who is going to be the first one to get it and how you decide that?

[2459] Well, for sure, like.

[2460] Money.

[2461] Marcus Brownlee and Lou from Unbox Therapy, they'll get it first and they'll get it first.

[2462] put it on and then they'll start running the world because they'll have it early and they go no one else gets this.

[2463] They'll try.

[2464] But Mark Zuckerberg probably already has it.

[2465] You don't want to know what I'm using it right now.

[2466] Fend his case.

[2467] Yeah, it's coming.

[2468] Something's coming.

[2469] Yeah, man. What's it going to be?

[2470] Who knows?

[2471] What's it going to be?

[2472] Something's coming and something's going to be more invasive than what we're experiencing now.

[2473] So I can be sure of they're going to figure out to get more and more data.

[2474] You know, Sam Harris has a really interesting podcast that's out.

[2475] It's either the one that's going on right, maybe the two weeks ago, and it was all about, I should probably find it, it was all about, privacy.

[2476] Privacy and what's the difference between the way different tech companies approach privacy.

[2477] It actually makes you respect how Apple does it.

[2478] Oh, yeah?

[2479] Yeah.

[2480] I mean, they apparently, they do it much more, I guess the word would be they're more ethical about it they're trying not to give away any the trouble with Facebook is what it's called I was reading a thing yesterday that you know you put those doorbell things on you know like ring you know that records people coming up to you and they said you know you think it's cool for you and your family but the UPS guy or all these delivery people are getting their picture taken and sent to a database every day like these people are being monitored all the time so well it's good for you it's not that great for these other people that visit you this guy's name is roger macnamee that's the one it's the trouble of facebook it's episode 152 it's really it's very interesting because what what it goes into is about how tech companies figured out how to tap into a resource that no one thought of and that resource is your data and how much is that worth well it turns out it's worth fucking untold billions.

[2481] Right.

[2482] It's one of the most valuable things because you can direct market to people.

[2483] You could find out what people are into, what they're not into.

[2484] Yeah.

[2485] You get a lot of people that you can get a hold of.

[2486] And we kind of gave our consent to this without understanding it.

[2487] Yeah.

[2488] And they got in through a loophole.

[2489] And this is how they're able to make, you know, ungodly amounts of money.

[2490] Just because we wanted to have that cool feature.

[2491] So you just say, yeah, take it from me. I mean, think about the amount of money something like Facebook brings in versus what it is.

[2492] Like, what is it?

[2493] What are you doing?

[2494] What are you doing that's making all that money?

[2495] Right.

[2496] They're providing people with data.

[2497] Yeah.

[2498] You know, and they're also getting people to, it's like an ongoing psychological experiment in what makes people engage.

[2499] Like, what makes people comment more?

[2500] Right.

[2501] It turns out it's anger.

[2502] Oh, really?

[2503] Yeah.

[2504] It turns out that what makes people engage the most is things they disagree.

[2505] agree with.

[2506] When they started having fights.

[2507] So they're having fights back and forth.

[2508] So you get people to get really into these polarizing subjects.

[2509] Right.

[2510] And then you, once they start looking for those subjects, then those subjects start showing up in their feeds.

[2511] So it's all sorts of things that they get angry about.

[2512] So then they start interacting with these things.

[2513] The more you interact, the more it shows up in your feed.

[2514] And all the while, they're profiting on enraging you.

[2515] Oh, my God.

[2516] I mean, this is essentially what they do.

[2517] Creepy Facebook patent uses image recognition to scan your personal photos for brands.

[2518] Oh, my God.

[2519] Whoa.

[2520] Yeah, so they just take all your photos and look at the Dorito bags in the back.

[2521] Applying computer vision algorithms to user -uploaded multimedia objects to detect specific objects within the multimedia object and promoting the uploaded multimedia object from a user's news feed to a sponsored stories area.

[2522] That's what the patent was awarded for.

[2523] Wow.

[2524] Geez Louise.

[2525] Computer vision content detection for sponsored stories.

[2526] Wow.

[2527] That's crazy, man. Yeah.

[2528] You snap a selfie, sipping a unicorn frapp at Starbucks, and then shares that selfie on Facebook or Instagram.

[2529] Facebook's newly patented technology can theoretically scan the photo, spot the Starbucks cup with the help of an image object recognition algorithm, and then sell that info.

[2530] Starbucks, alerting the coffee giant of the fact that you like its product.

[2531] Well, they're already doing a version of that with your searches, with the things you're looking at, you know, when you go through their browser, they're already doing that.

[2532] Well, they're doing it also with voice.

[2533] Your phone is listening to you all the time.

[2534] Yeah.

[2535] If you have Alexa in your home, it's listening.

[2536] My kids, and we do it all the time.

[2537] Like, if you're talking about something and then all of a sudden you see, I was performing in Boise, Boise.

[2538] And so we were talking about Boise, Boise, Boise, and then everybody, on their Instagram was getting an ad for vacationing in Boise See, that seems like...

[2539] Just from us speaking it.

[2540] Yeah, that seems like a really serious thing.

[2541] It is.

[2542] It seems like a really serious thing that everybody is just like, oh, this is happening?

[2543] Yeah.

[2544] I don't remember signing off on this.

[2545] The technology is ahead of our anger or our recognition of it.

[2546] Yeah.

[2547] We don't understand.

[2548] Yeah.

[2549] And so it's already happened by the time you're upset that it exists.

[2550] Right.

[2551] Yeah.

[2552] It's in full force right now.

[2553] Yeah.

[2554] Yeah.

[2555] It's really weird.

[2556] It's really weird.

[2557] It's really weird.

[2558] And we're just talking about it.

[2559] This is just, we think it's your, just in your home, you're in a private place.

[2560] Yeah.

[2561] But these phones, they're just listening.

[2562] You know, we just all have them.

[2563] And again, this is something that didn't exist 10 years ago, 15 years ago.

[2564] These concerns didn't exist.

[2565] Yeah.

[2566] What will be the concerns 15 years from now?

[2567] Like, how much more invasive is it going to get before we even recognize that it's happening?

[2568] Yeah.

[2569] Because this is something, the listening in on things.

[2570] is something that people didn't think about before it happened.

[2571] Right.

[2572] Now they know it does.

[2573] Well, the face recognition thing is there's a lot of articles on that and how that we don't realize.

[2574] Well, the China thing totally makes sense, right?

[2575] Especially if so many people's phones use face recognition software.

[2576] Right.

[2577] With the Samsung phones have it.

[2578] You know, my galaxy note nine has it.

[2579] iPhones have it.

[2580] Yeah.

[2581] And you're just psyched about it.

[2582] You're just like, oh, that's cool.

[2583] I don't have to put in my password anymore.

[2584] Just look at it.

[2585] Yeah.

[2586] Now I'm in my app.

[2587] also have one that's an iris scanner on the note the note scans your irises oh really yeah bro it's quick too looks at your eyeballs like yep you're you she's what the fuck do you know man what does that say jamie i was trying to find this the first time you brought up but i know that there's these masks that exist that are in quotes like hyper realistic masks that can be used to i don't know if it's this is saying it's used to help the facial recognition but i think people are using them to trick it and do fake stuff and like you know i don't know if you could commit a robbery with that on and whoa right it's just like having a ski mask on now they just can't see your face but it'll think something right if you had a hoodie on yeah what about a minority report remember when they had to pull his eye they were selling eyeballs on the black market for the eye scan to get into buildings and all you would have to do with that is put like a bandana around your mouth right yeah so it could no one could see your mouth moving have that thing on sunglasses yeah but my even my iPhone gets through my sunglasses, which I don't know how to fuck it does that, but it definitely doesn't.

[2588] But it's facial recognition.

[2589] So, but what I'm saying is with this, like, if you wanted to rob someone and have something like even the facial recognition software would, would think that it would legitimately think you were somebody else.

[2590] Hopefully.

[2591] Now, and what about, hopefully for when we're doing our crime.

[2592] When we're trying to rob someone.

[2593] Or hopefully not.

[2594] You do you guys criminals?

[2595] That's crazy.

[2596] It's kind of happened.

[2597] But it's so.

[2598] fast, too.

[2599] I mean, you know, this is so new.

[2600] Also, like, the special effects technology that allows people to make faces.

[2601] Look how beautiful those things look.

[2602] Like, it looks so close to a person.

[2603] Yeah.

[2604] These for 200 bucks.

[2605] You can buy one?

[2606] We should do it.

[2607] Let's see what it looks like.

[2608] I'm going to get you, I should buy you and then see if I can open up your phone.

[2609] Yeah.

[2610] Bro, that would be crazy.

[2611] That would be cool.

[2612] That would be crazy.

[2613] See if it can open up your phone.

[2614] It looks super creepy, but.

[2615] Oh, that's so.

[2616] so weird.

[2617] Ew, he looks like a demon.

[2618] Yeah, if they could add a little latex or it could be movable, it'd be kind of...

[2619] Wow, that looks pretty real, though.

[2620] I mean, you know, a little creepy, but that looks pretty accurate.

[2621] That's crazy accurate.

[2622] I wouldn't look twice on the, walking down the street.

[2623] He wouldn't even think about it.

[2624] No, you'd be like, that guy has a good shave.

[2625] It's like a beautiful person.

[2626] His skin so smooth.

[2627] Yeah, he's like a baby's bottom.

[2628] So, Paulin.

[2629] What?

[2630] It was started off, That's My Face .com, and it's not been switched to whatever this is.

[2631] You're me surveillance.

[2632] That's just creepy.

[2633] Is there, do you guys know, is there a problem with doing like any of those 23 and me ancestry things?

[2634] You're going to have your DNA bro.

[2635] The government.

[2636] The Illuminani's going to check your fucking spit.

[2637] Do they, is it bad to do?

[2638] I don't know.

[2639] I do it.

[2640] Should you not do it?

[2641] What are they going to do with it?

[2642] They're going to clone me?

[2643] Who cares?

[2644] Bro, if they want your DNA they can get it just by touching your clothes, getting a hold of your stuff.

[2645] They can get a hold of you.

[2646] They could find out all sorts of stuff from hair samples right behind hair you know if you drink a Starbucks and then they grab your cup they can get a DNA sample off your cup and someone can get your DNA sample right so it doesn't really matter so if I want to find out if I'm Greek or Italian you should find out I should find out yeah it's pretty comprehensive have you done it yeah it's interesting it gives you a lot of other weird stuff too like that you might have certain genes that for certain proclivities even including like lactose intolerance propensity to alcohol alcoholism.

[2647] Yeah.

[2648] Some super athletes have certain muscle genes.

[2649] You should find out if you have those genes like power athletes.

[2650] Like almost an extraordinary number of ones that are successful in certain sports.

[2651] Oh, really?

[2652] Yeah.

[2653] A type of gene.

[2654] Yeah.

[2655] And it gives you all this or you have to specify it.

[2656] Oh, it gives that.

[2657] Yeah.

[2658] Oh, it's a really detailed report.

[2659] Oh, wow.

[2660] Yeah, it's really detailed and covers all sorts of different categories.

[2661] Yeah.

[2662] It's cool, too, and you find out like weird stuff you know what part of europe your parents were from you know maybe you have some Asian and you didn't know you had it's it's really cool yeah that's cool it's cool it's um it's just it makes you really think like to get here in 2019 what had to happen yeah all the people in the past and if you keep going back you know like i have a little bit of Asian in me oh yeah it was like 1 % or something like that but thinking like where'd that come from like who where was that is that why you like jiu jitsu i don't think so i think a lot of people just like jihitsu bro is that why you like sushi um i don't think it's that asia i'm from a different asia but i don't know i think um i think you know if you could somebody though went through asia hooked up with somebody yeah for sure but what i'm saying is i think that if you look at what technology was available like 200 years ago for finding ancestry.

[2663] People didn't even know if that was their kid 50 years ago.

[2664] Right, exactly.

[2665] 50 years ago, you had a guess, you know?

[2666] I mean, maybe they had paternity test 50 years ago, did they?

[2667] Like, just trying to find your roots, like, back in Italy, you just have to go find, like, town hall and see if there's a book with your great grandfather's name in it.

[2668] Yeah, but I mean, you didn't even know if your dad was really your dad, if your mom was a ho.

[2669] Well, I knew that.

[2670] I knew that.

[2671] Around sixth grade, I figured that out.

[2672] But if you wanted to know 100 years ago, if you were the father.

[2673] of someone's child you have to look at the kid and go the kid looks like me yeah or convince yourself that the kid looks like you right or convince yourself the kid just got your wife's features but it's still your kid right but now you can actually get DNA test done and be like oh you know what the coldest hard as shit is when you find out that it's not your kid but you still have to pay child support because you've been paying child support and you still have to if the DNA confirms that he's not it's in different states there's different rules but uh I believe that's how it is in California and I believe that's how it is in several other states Where if, uh, turns out the young lady had strayed.

[2674] Oh, no. And caught some side, dick.

[2675] Ew.

[2676] Hey.

[2677] Woo!

[2678] Got to go.

[2679] Now, uh, and you got to keep paying.

[2680] Oof.

[2681] Yeah.

[2682] That's not good.

[2683] You have to keep paying.

[2684] Even if you do a DNA test and you find out the child's not yours, I think once you have started paying, unless you, you, you might have to go to court and, and duke it out.

[2685] But I don't think your payment obligation.

[2686] stops just because it's not your kid.

[2687] Oh, and what a weird shift, too, if like, you think it's this kid and you're supporting them, and then to be switching your head, like, no, I'm not going to help him anymore.

[2688] They didn't have testing, really, until the 80s.

[2689] Whoa.

[2690] Until the 80s.

[2691] It's a whole new world.

[2692] Whole new world.

[2693] O .J. Trout was one of the first ones.

[2694] People didn't really even believe it.

[2695] Remember, that's kind of how he got off.

[2696] Oh, you're right.

[2697] That's right.

[2698] And they started just saying that they didn't know how to handle the sample.

[2699] and they...

[2700] Well, there was some funkiness with that, too.

[2701] Stepping all over it.

[2702] They didn't believe the one in a trillion kind of numbers they were passing out.

[2703] Well, I think overzealous, aggressive, like, police and detectives, I think that's common.

[2704] I think that's common is...

[2705] Did you see that fucking video?

[2706] The Tesla sentient mode.

[2707] Did you see that shit?

[2708] No. You know, Tesla has a sentry mode, and it caught some politician back in his escalade into a model three scuffing it up getting out looking at it trying to rub it out and then taking off and uh they called him up because they could see his face in the video and they knew who it was because this guy had been like a kind of prominent politician and so um here it is there's those little the little nick but they said it was like two thousand dollars to fix i'm like jesus that's a lot of money for that little nick yeah that seems a little ridiculous little scuff um so the dude just backs into it and tries to jet yeah it's funny yeah bonk right into the this is the side camera that's always recording kind of yeah see he just backed his stupid stupid car that guy just doesn't know how to drive he might have been drunk yeah yeah look at him looks at it looks at it all right we don't have to well he tried to fix it he's in deep shit he tried to fix it the fuck he did he denied it when they called him Oh, they did?

[2709] Yeah, and apparently that guy had already been to jail for something else.

[2710] Yeah.

[2711] You're dirty.

[2712] It's not good.

[2713] He might be.

[2714] It's hard, man. I bumped into someone's car once, and I left a note with my phone number and my address.

[2715] Nice.

[2716] And not my address, my phone number and my name.

[2717] And they called me up, and they just so happened to be very good friends with someone who I was friends with.

[2718] So, then he calls me up and he tells me, dude, you hit my friend's car.

[2719] And he tells me, I go, that's that.

[2720] I go, tell him to call me, man. That's cool.

[2721] It was noble.

[2722] Well, it wasn't bad, but it was something.

[2723] Yeah.

[2724] You know, it was like it was a little scuff on the bumper.

[2725] Right.

[2726] But it was my, it was, I was like, oh, thank God I left a message.

[2727] Yeah.

[2728] I felt like such a piece of shit.

[2729] Yeah, exactly.

[2730] I was hanging up with my friend and he was like, man, some fucking asshole hit my friend's car and took off you believe that shit i'm like no crazy bro that's that's bullshit and now cameras have everybody doing everything so you'll always get busted yeah when do you think it's going to be where you have a tesla you know what those things do when you think it's going to be where no one's driving how many how many more years well where a lot of people aren't driving 20 yeah i would say 20 to 30 you remember when priuses were a joke yeah someone had a preace like get that fucking stupid thing away from it.

[2731] Or even the early Tesla, the roadster.

[2732] Like, do you know that Top Gear?

[2733] You know that British show Top Gear?

[2734] Yeah.

[2735] Here's what's crazy I found out.

[2736] They did an episode where they pretended that the Tesla Roadster died on them while they were driving it around the track.

[2737] But it didn't really die on, though.

[2738] That was just the storyline was that they wanted it to die.

[2739] That's gross.

[2740] Apparently, the way the show is made, it's like a comedy show and it's scripted so they can get away with doing something like that so Elon Musk sued them and i think he lost believe it or not because they don't claim to be exactly they don't claim to be factual and they complained they they don't they don't claim to not have narratives right they create that's so gross just to make sure that i'm that's gross it's pretty gross it's amazing how many shots that they take Elon Musk called top gear completely phony and his company sued for libel and malicious falsehoods.

[2741] A judge dismissed the suit in October saying no viewer of the program could have reasonably been compared the Roaster's performance on the track to a real world performance on the street.

[2742] That seems fuzzy.

[2743] I don't know what that means.

[2744] Yeah.

[2745] Okay, what is 2012, that was.

[2746] What is the case, what Elon Musk said that it was that they faked it and they claimed the power, Tesla, okay, let's see what it says so we could figure out.

[2747] I think, I'm pretty sure that's the story.

[2748] After Tesla dropped the car off, Elon Musk claimed that one of his employees was along for the delivery notice that a script for the episode.

[2749] Inside, there was a segment about the Tesla breaking down.

[2750] But that was only the tip of the iceberg.

[2751] Top Gear claimed that the Tesla rodester ran out of power while driving after just 55 miles, much less than the 200 miles quoted by Tesla, albeit it was being driven hard.

[2752] A claim that Musk said was untrue.

[2753] According to him, the roadster's logs showed that the car had never dipped below 20 % charge during the entirety of the filming.

[2754] the clip followed with the roadster's motor overheating which wasn't addressed by musk and finally a brake failure which musk claims was instead a blown fuse and not an equipment failure battery powered electric cars will soon die altogether former top gear host james may say ah interesting isn't it amazing so there was some it sounds like there was some horseshit for sure but it does sound like there was a real break problem and the break problem was a blown fuse which there's nothing you can do about that But just that, it's such a strange thing that, like, you just have to attack electric cars.

[2755] Like, it's just a...

[2756] Well, I think them making a script, if they had a script that said that the Tesla was going to break down, they thought it would be funny.

[2757] It's a comedy bit.

[2758] It's a comedy show.

[2759] Jeremy Clarkson was fucking hilarious.

[2760] Right.

[2761] He's really funny.

[2762] Yeah, but there is definitely people that are, yeah, you believe a lot of the stuff that they say and the performance of the car.

[2763] You know, I always thought it was funny, but also.

[2764] saw them as experts well they kind of are yeah I mean they know a lot of shit yeah they know a lot of shit about cars for sure Jeremy Clarkson knows a lot about cars the problem is people go to them for advice and lap times and all that shit and if you're saying a car is breaking down you engineered that into a script it's pretty dirty that is dirty well that's how like Sean Hannity gets away with saying that he's not a news program does he get away with that so he's like WWE of news yeah he says it's uh it's a it's a Entertainment.

[2765] Really?

[2766] He says that?

[2767] Yeah.

[2768] Oh, dude, that's hilarious.

[2769] That's why you have a little out.

[2770] We're not a news program.

[2771] We don't claim to be.

[2772] He says that?

[2773] Yeah.

[2774] Well, a lot of people are coming into you thinking that's news.

[2775] But isn't he a commentary program?

[2776] Isn't that what they say?

[2777] It's not that he's news.

[2778] He says it's entertainment.

[2779] Oh.

[2780] Yeah.

[2781] Do you find entertaining?

[2782] No. You should sue.

[2783] I should sue.

[2784] Oh, I could do that.

[2785] He says it's entertaining.

[2786] He's a liar.

[2787] Yeah.

[2788] That's not that entertaining.

[2789] I didn't find it entertaining.

[2790] Sue!

[2791] I'm going to sue them and the Game of Thrones people.

[2792] I hate dragons.

[2793] Sue!

[2794] Those aren't real dragons.

[2795] Those dragons are dope as fuck.

[2796] Did you watch last night?

[2797] I didn't.

[2798] I did.

[2799] Was it good?

[2800] Spoiler alert.

[2801] It was awesome.

[2802] It was awesome just to see everything.

[2803] I just want to see it.

[2804] I just was happy to see a new episode.

[2805] I'm going to be so sad when that show gets canceled.

[2806] I'm such a dork.

[2807] You've watched it all the way up?

[2808] Talking about doing the prequel or the beginning of it.

[2809] That would be cool.

[2810] but they haven't Hey man Whoever the fucking people are that are doing it Just keep doing things Whoever those people That are writing And producing it And putting it together And keep hiring those actors To play different people I don't care I lost my way After like maybe three seasons How many seasons Has it been on like five Oh fuck up You lost your way Go back and start From Scratch soldier I can't learn all the names Of these places And the make believe things And the Julia Sange And the whatever's How much do I have to know Joe I know You know how to make bread.

[2811] Just keep making the delicious bread.

[2812] I do.

[2813] I do.

[2814] Keep it simple.

[2815] Yeah.

[2816] A martini, a little bread.

[2817] Just live your life.

[2818] Yeah.

[2819] A little jog.

[2820] How much?

[2821] Why do I have to control everything?

[2822] Too much.

[2823] I would like to.

[2824] Enough.

[2825] I'll catch back up with it.

[2826] Yeah.

[2827] It's good, right?

[2828] People like it.

[2829] So you're going to like let this whole season play by without you being caught up?

[2830] I almost last night was just going to watch, just jump in.

[2831] Who cares if I lost it?

[2832] show that you never get like please tell me you gave up on the walking dead yes thank you yeah i stopped that one is there any show that you haven't give up on that you've been steadfast that i what i mean you binge that you still watch uh that you haven't quit no there's none that i'm currently watching i just watch russian doll what is that that's on netflix that was good that girl's like an assassin or something no she's she's uh she dies every episode it's like groundhog day yeah yeah Yeah, it was pretty good.

[2833] And I've seen all the big ones.

[2834] I don't know.

[2835] Ozark?

[2836] Ozark?

[2837] Yeah, one season of it.

[2838] You didn't watch season two?

[2839] No. Was I supposed to?

[2840] I don't know how you just shut it off.

[2841] You don't want to know what happened?

[2842] I don't know.

[2843] I forget.

[2844] Time, Papa.

[2845] It's already three o 'clock.

[2846] It's already three o 'clock.

[2847] It's three o 'clock in the afternoon.

[2848] I had the time flying this conversation.

[2849] Did we start?

[2850] When did we start?

[2851] 12 .30?

[2852] 12 .30.

[2853] Yeah, something like that.

[2854] 3 o 'clock.

[2855] Tell the fine people where you're at, my brother.

[2856] I am, I'm going to Boston.

[2857] Where are you slinging jokes, Tom?

[2858] I'm going to Northampton.

[2859] What are you doing in Boston?

[2860] City winery.

[2861] Oh, what is that?

[2862] It's this elegant winery place where they have stand up there now?

[2863] They stand up there.

[2864] Wow.

[2865] Mostly bands.

[2866] No shit.

[2867] Doing a bunch of those kind of things.

[2868] It's actually a winery?

[2869] A real winery?

[2870] Yeah, they make their own wine.

[2871] Whoa.

[2872] In Boston.

[2873] That's cool.

[2874] Yeah, it's really cool.

[2875] My friend's honey -honey played at a winery once.

[2876] I was like, this is the coolest shit ever.

[2877] Yeah, it's pretty cool.

[2878] I'm going to do Napa.

[2879] I'm going to do something up in Napa, another wine spot.

[2880] Yeah, that's where they were.

[2881] Oh, yeah?

[2882] There's a nice theater there that I've done.

[2883] Yeah.

[2884] Yeah.

[2885] That's a good spot.

[2886] That whole area is amazing, right?

[2887] The food there's all the charts.

[2888] It's amazing.

[2889] It's no joke.

[2890] Food is incredible.

[2891] I know.

[2892] That place, they've got it so dialed in.

[2893] The wine's amazing.

[2894] The nature is amazing.

[2895] Brian Callan, we're up there with those hunting guys.

[2896] We were filming a turkey hunting episode.

[2897] And Brian Callan and I, after we went turkey hunting, these guys went back to this Airbnb they rented.

[2898] They were like, guys, they had like hamburger and shit like this.

[2899] Oh, guys, these are the best restaurants in the world.

[2900] And they're right here.

[2901] Like, come on, let's go out.

[2902] I'll pay.

[2903] They're like, no, we're going to stay home.

[2904] make cheeseburgers okay Callan and I went out like gentlemen we got a fine bottle wine turkey hunting and clinking fine glasses come on and eating you know just delicious steak and incredible food we had a wonderful time yeah there's certain times certain people have you know they've figured it out over time they've got it dialed in just do what they do yeah but it's good to appreciate it it's good to appreciate it oh 100 % It's good.

[2905] If you ate there every day, I think it would be...

[2906] No, it's a treat.

[2907] Yeah.

[2908] It's something, yeah, it means something.

[2909] And then you'll remember that dinner, you know?

[2910] It's not like just...

[2911] We were just mocking those guys the entire time.

[2912] Drinking wine, getting lit, talking shit, having fun.

[2913] That's one of the coolest things about having a friend like Callan, who's just always funny.

[2914] Like, everywhere you go, like, come on, buddy, you're my one -man comedy show.

[2915] And then next thing you know, it's like you're just laughing.

[2916] Yeah, he's making some shit up and...

[2917] pontificating.

[2918] And then...

[2919] Yeah, he's hilarious.

[2920] Yeah, he is.

[2921] He really makes me laugh.

[2922] Um, so website, tompapa .com?

[2923] Tompapa .com.

[2924] Tompapa on the Instagram, Tompapa on the Twitter.

[2925] All of those things.

[2926] My book's going to paperback next month.

[2927] Louises.

[2928] Yeah, it's very cool.

[2929] It's all good.

[2930] Always great to be here.

[2931] Always great to have you, brother.

[2932] You're going to give me some elk on the way out?

[2933] Oh, yeah.

[2934] I got a freezer bag for you.

[2935] I brought my old...

[2936] I brought the old freezer bag, yeah.

[2937] Oh, beautiful.

[2938] All right.

[2939] Bye, everybody.

[2940] Thank you.