#1876 - Greg Fitzsimmons

[0] Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.

[1] The Joe Rogan Experience.

[2] Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

[3] Must be sober for a month.

[4] Does one, must one work out every day?

[5] Isn't that part of it too?

[6] Must one workout every day.

[7] Yeah.

[8] One must work out.

[9] One must burn 500 calories in a workout every single day.

[10] Seven days a week.

[11] 365 days.

[12] Well, 60.

[13] 30.

[14] 30 days.

[15] I'm already.

[16] expanding.

[17] So isn't it, is there a contest about who can burn the most calories?

[18] We're not doing that because we go crazy.

[19] The problem with contests is they absorb your whole life.

[20] And everybody except Ari has a family and obligations and jobs and podcasts and different things they have to do.

[21] We did it one year, the contest, and it was pretty obvious halfway in that we were fucked.

[22] I remember you got behind and then you just powered through.

[23] and came from behind with, like, some crazy workouts.

[24] Well, I was never really behind.

[25] I mean, I might have been behind for, like, a day.

[26] It was, though, in the beginning, we were trying to figure out how much we were going to burn, you know, because we were using this my zones thing, so it's like you wear a chest strap.

[27] And the chest strap gives you points with the application for however many minutes you are at 80 % of your max heart rate versus 90 % of your max heart rate at the 90s, 2 points.

[28] 80s 1 or something like that.

[29] Yeah.

[30] And R .E figured out that you could watch TV while you were doing cardio.

[31] So he watched movies on an iPad while he's doing cardio.

[32] Yeah.

[33] And he ran up a big number, like 400 in a day.

[34] We're like, fuck.

[35] That's a big number.

[36] That was like two movies.

[37] Yeah.

[38] And so then we really started getting crazy.

[39] And then one day I did 1 ,100 points.

[40] I did seven hours of cardio.

[41] No shit.

[42] Yeah.

[43] yeah mostly what running no mostly elliptical machine because you could watch movies yeah so i watched john wick like 50 times i kept rewinding it to the scene in the bathhouse where he kills everybody it's just because so adrenaline filled you can keep going yeah i watched some fights i watched a bunch of shit and it's like it just got too crazy yeah we were losing our minds all right we were really losing our minds we were talking a lot of shit to each other and tom got sick tom got the flu and then the day better from the flu, he ran 13 miles.

[44] No shit.

[45] The day he got better.

[46] He ran 13 miles through his neighbor, through the hills.

[47] Damn.

[48] That's different than a treadmill.

[49] Thirteen miles on the street is like...

[50] That's real.

[51] Yeah.

[52] Yeah, we went crazy.

[53] Yeah.

[54] And like if that kept going, imagine if we had it for like six months.

[55] We had a fitness contest for six months, and at the end of six months you win like a million dollars.

[56] Yeah.

[57] You could have got us.

[58] sponsor for that.

[59] Easy.

[60] The problem is it would become your whole life.

[61] We would go crazy.

[62] Right.

[63] And Bert would die.

[64] Bert would for sure have a heart attack.

[65] Or he would just be content coming in last like he did the last time.

[66] He talked a lot of shit and came in last.

[67] He did.

[68] Yeah.

[69] Yeah.

[70] Yeah, it seems like a great idea for your mental, like for me working out, it's just for my head.

[71] I don't even give a shit.

[72] I mean, this body I was naturally born with.

[73] It's a gift.

[74] Congratulations.

[75] But my brain, if I. I work out, man. I just feel happy.

[76] And if I don't, I get depressed.

[77] So one of the things we talked about, Tom and I talked about specifically, was that when you do a lot of cardio in a day, like four hours of cardio in a day, he goes all the internal chatter just goes away.

[78] I go, yeah, there's like, there's no negative talk.

[79] There's no, like, anxiety and angst.

[80] And I really wonder how much of that that people walk around with all day could be fixed with cardio.

[81] could be fixed with like rigorous exercise you know and they say um they say weightlifting helps anxiety too they say strength training does but uh for me it's like cardio cardio seems to put me in this place where it just is like whatever who gives a fuck it's just like a just a really peaceful it like balances out what's really important to think about and worry about versus like things that are just sort of bouncing around your head.

[82] You don't know if I should pay attention to that one or that one.

[83] And what should I freak out about the most?

[84] Like every time I watch the news, every time I look at the news, I'm like, how engaged do I get here?

[85] Do I freak out about Russia?

[86] Am I going to freak out?

[87] And then my whole day will be a freak out.

[88] Yeah.

[89] Or do I recognize that there's not a goddamn thing I can do about this and just casually be aware of it and hope it doesn't explode?

[90] That's the dilemma.

[91] Like basically every day.

[92] wild shit, like the Russia -Ukraine war, most of the time I look at the news, I'm like, how much am I going to engage with this?

[93] Yeah.

[94] And not just the news, but like everything in your life.

[95] I have to do it when I listen.

[96] I listen to books about the Civil War because I listen to audiobooks when I go to sleep at night.

[97] It's the only way I can sleep.

[98] I just listen to, I try to find the dullest nonfiction available with like a good British author.

[99] And it just puts me right to sleep.

[100] So I've probably listened to 50 nonfiction books in the last five, ten years.

[101] Do you fall asleep with the headphones on?

[102] Yeah, yeah.

[103] Is that a problem?

[104] It is.

[105] Did you have dreams?

[106] No, no, no. I set a timer.

[107] It goes off after 45 minutes.

[108] You got some guy talking to you about some guy bleeding out from a musket wound in the woods.

[109] You know, got shot by his own cousin because they're on the wrong side of the Mississippi.

[110] I do.

[111] The one I just listened to was about Jesse James.

[112] It was pretty badass.

[113] Jesse James was born in Missouri, and Missouri during the Civil War.

[114] When you picture the Civil War, you picture like there was the Confederate states and there was the Union states.

[115] And they fought.

[116] No. Missouri, fucking, this family was Confederate, this one was Unionist.

[117] And they would just go kill each other.

[118] It was random.

[119] And there was marauding packs of guys like Jesse James.

[120] It was the Jesse James gang.

[121] It was him and his brother, Frank, and these other guys, and they would just, they would, it was, they had, like, the press kind of, like, made heroes of them because they said that they were, like, Robin Hood.

[122] They were given to the poor because, you know, they gave a couple widows some money that they mostly kept, like, they killed fucking thousands of people and kept all the money.

[123] Did you ever read, you read me Malcolm Gladwell?

[124] Yeah.

[125] you read that thing that Malcolm Gladwell talked about with like the honor societies that lived in like Appalachia and how many of them were involved in feuds that led like mass murders oh no shit really yeah but the psychology behind it's the most fascinating thing he was saying that these people come like they emigrated from a part of the world where they were herders like they're herded animals and when you herded animals you had a very different reaction to transgressions than someone who like say was a farmer because someone couldn't steal your farm yeah but they could steal your animals right so you you had to be violent in your defense of your property yeah because it could be gathered up by somebody else so you had to constantly be vigilant and you had to be very wary of intruders because people did that all the time yeah when they come and they would steal all your sheep so when they came over to America they carried that ethic about conflict they were to the death they would go to the death they would come for you and that's just the way they lived like if you stole from them they would kill you if you you insulted them they would kill you and they were all living in the appalachians wow so these folks were just like if you think about that part of the world like why is it so uniquely violent yeah well it's because those people yeah yeah they emanated from this population of people that grew up having to defend their animals.

[126] It completely makes sense.

[127] What were they like Scottish mostly?

[128] That's a good question.

[129] I think they were Irish and Scottish.

[130] Which also makes sense, wild -ass drunks.

[131] Yeah.

[132] Constantly involved in fights.

[133] Long history of warfare.

[134] Yep.

[135] You know, those are wild people, man. Wild fucking people.

[136] You know, you think about the people that are there, are the descendants of people who've lived there thousands of years.

[137] Like, that's what's so crazy about Europe, as opposed to America.

[138] You know, if you're not a Native American tribes person who's on your family's land, and it's been that land for hundreds of years, you're fucking, everyone's from somewhere else.

[139] Yeah.

[140] But if you're living in Scotland, there's a good chance that someone 400 years ago from your family also lived in Scotland.

[141] Right.

[142] Which is wild.

[143] Yeah.

[144] To the point, we were talking about this the other day.

[145] When is there going to be, like, I don't know how this works, but I know that when they do a genetic test, they can find out some of your families from Eastern Europe.

[146] You have this percentage of Eastern Europe genes, this percentage of genes that appear from Asia.

[147] They can do that with like a 23 and me, right?

[148] Right.

[149] At what point in time is there an American gene?

[150] At what point in time, like, how many generations do we have to stay in this one spot?

[151] Or is it just such a constant melting pot with people constantly moving into here that it never will be like, you know what I'm saying?

[152] Like, is it possible that people could say, oh, your ancestors came from America?

[153] Yeah.

[154] Is that even possible?

[155] That is funny because I'll ask people in the audience, like, what's your ethnicity?

[156] And they say white.

[157] And I just look at them going like, what the fuck is wrong with you?

[158] And they'll be like a black person sitting right next to them.

[159] And they'll be like, white, I'm white.

[160] It's fucking great.

[161] What's your ethnicity?

[162] And so...

[163] White is not an ethnicity, right?

[164] Isn't it odd?

[165] Yeah.

[166] It's kind of odd.

[167] That Latino is an ethnicity.

[168] African -American is an ethnicity.

[169] Asian is an ethnicity.

[170] But that's not like being white.

[171] Like if you say German is just white, right?

[172] Irish is just white.

[173] Yeah.

[174] Well, you would say probably Saxon.

[175] Who the fuck would say Saxon?

[176] I'd be like, get out of my office.

[177] Tad, Tad with the whale belt and the shirt tucked in.

[178] Well, my ancestry is Saxon.

[179] Yeah.

[180] Get the fuck out of his office.

[181] Well, mine, I guess the Irish, a lot of the Irish are Normans, the Norman invasions that were in like the 11th century or something came over.

[182] And so like Fitzsimmons, the name Fitzsimmons literally means bastard son of.

[183] Anytime you hear Fitz, that means bastard son of.

[184] So originally it was Simmons, which was like wherever the Normans came from.

[185] I guess that would be the French area or north.

[186] and so they would come in and they would steal a parcel of land from the Irish and they would say Simmons this is yours now now you're Fitzsimmons Wow Yeah so I'm a bastard Remember Greg Fitzgerald No Dave Fitzgerald David Fitzgerald Yeah that's right David Fitzgerald Dave Fitzgerald was a good comic Dave Fitzgerald was one of the first guys that ever saw that went straight from the Alcoholics Anonymous program To stand up Yeah Because A for a lot of guys acted like as an open mic yeah dick dardy dick dardy got through comedy from a a lot of those guys did yeah the a a room's launched many career i would name names but it's like literally the last thing you're supposed to do that i was just about the name three other people yeah yeah yeah he would talk about and also he's not with us anymore yeah he was a funny guy yeah it was a bummer he used to get standing o's as the feature act how do you like to help follow that fucking guy he was solid and he had that voice yeah it was very like great comedic timing really wrote hard was a real good writer yeah i think it was a postal worker wasn't he i don't remember because a lot of those boston comics like they had good civil service jobs yeah and then they would do stand -up at night and they'd be driving up to main with us on a tuesday night making 75 bucks and then they'd have to get up the next morning and do their real job well the thing about boston is like if you're a bum they make you feel like shit yeah people up there work yeah they fucking work right and so if you're gonna just become a comic and you're gonna quit your job at the post office you know how hard your uncle work to get you that job at the post office exactly how many strings you had a pull yeah and then you're in but you don't want to be in you want to be on the road so you're off in main for 75 bucks yeah you get one shot at the union once you're in you're in once you're out you're out you're out That's it.

[187] And if you leave, boy, people will be mad at you because that is a good fucking job.

[188] And you get good benefits.

[189] Yeah.

[190] You get like increased pay every year.

[191] Dude, unions bring a lot of happiness and security.

[192] You know, I mean, I mean, the unions have got some problems, but they have to work out the problems because the business model of a union is solid.

[193] Everything with people has problems.

[194] Yeah.

[195] Everything with people.

[196] And everything with people where people get into a position of power and control other people.

[197] and decide, like, what other people can and can't do.

[198] It's like, whoa.

[199] Yeah.

[200] And that's where unions are strong.

[201] I mean, it's like you don't want just money running everything.

[202] Because eventually money's going to go, why are we paying you this much?

[203] We can pay you less.

[204] Yeah.

[205] You know what?

[206] If we just move our shit over to this, cross this river over here, we can get people to work for a dollar an hour.

[207] Did you know that?

[208] Yeah.

[209] It would cost us this amount of money to move our plan over there.

[210] But we'll get these people over there to work.

[211] They work for almost nothing.

[212] And that's what's really happening right now.

[213] Yeah.

[214] It's because money became more important.

[215] It's like, is there enough money?

[216] Like, are you making enough money?

[217] If you're doing well, like if you're the head of a corporation, you're doing it.

[218] What is this constant need to make more money next year?

[219] Do you know how insane that is?

[220] I know.

[221] That's so insane that they always have to continue to make more money.

[222] And that's like the ethic of the corporation.

[223] That's the whole reason to have a corporation.

[224] You have a duty to your shareholders.

[225] You're supposed to make more might.

[226] Every quarter has to be more.

[227] There can't be a quarter where you go, hey, we're rebuilding.

[228] You know, it's like the fall, the winter, the spring, the seasons.

[229] No. Fuck you pay me. Fucking, fuck you pay me. Every quarter is a summer.

[230] There's no winter.

[231] Yeah, no winter.

[232] Fuck you pay me. Fuck you pay me. It's crazy that that's how medicine is run.

[233] Yeah.

[234] That's what sells medicine.

[235] That's what sells everything.

[236] That's what sells cars.

[237] That's what's convincing you to get a new cell phone.

[238] That's why it's funny when somebody like you gets rich because you don't have the inclination to go, well, now I need twice as much of that.

[239] Instead of that, like, I got to thank you.

[240] Like, I did two shows for you this week at the thing and you handed me some money and I got home.

[241] I looked at it.

[242] I was like, oh, Joe's ethos is I got lucky.

[243] Not lucky.

[244] You earned it.

[245] But you also, there was the luck of being in an industry of podcasting which fucking exploded.

[246] as you were the guy that was working the hardest and being the best at it.

[247] But because of that, you've decided to open a comedy club that I know you're not going to make a lot of money in, but you're going to do it because it's a great building developmental experience for young comics.

[248] It's a place that it'll be a place of community.

[249] It'll be a place where you can hang with your boys.

[250] Exactly.

[251] And it's not about the money.

[252] And it's so rare that somebody comes into money like you did and actually just enjoys it and uses it for good.

[253] It's a trick.

[254] You can get sucked into it and they'll start thinking that it's the only thing.

[255] It'll start talking to you like, this is all you need, Greg.

[256] You just need me. Make more and more of me and concentrate on me and you'll have more of me. Wouldn't you like a yacht, Greg?

[257] Wouldn't you like a yacht?

[258] Oh, look, another zero.

[259] Oh, more is it?

[260] There's a man ahead of you in the line?

[261] Yeah.

[262] Who has more money?

[263] We need to fill.

[264] figure out a way to beat that man. And that man is weaker than you.

[265] With comedy, man, like, the thing about it that I enjoyed the most is, like, the camaraderie and the fun and the new material and the putting on the good shows and having a good time with everybody.

[266] Yeah.

[267] And I'm like, that is something that I feel like when I moved here, I'm like, I want to invest in that.

[268] Not just, like, invest in it in a sense of, like, do it all the time and do a lot of shows with my friends like you guys last night.

[269] and, you know, we're going to do Atlanta this weekend, like, just, but also, like, to set a place where it's, like, encouraged, supported, and then you know that if you, there's a clear path now.

[270] It used to be you had to get a guy to help you and go on the road, and, you know, maybe if you did well at the club, they'd have you back to feature, and you ground it out for as many years as you could, and you try to get TV credits.

[271] And some guys got TV credits before they really could headline like me I had TV credits before I could headline So I was headlining like terrible doing a bad job like it's like it really didn't have 45 solid minutes But now with all these podcasts particularly like with Kill Tony and all these other comedy podcasts Like if you're in the group of people and and everybody talks about you and we're all having fun We're doing shows together you just get entered into the ecosystem stuff.

[272] Then you get featured on podcast, and then you get whatever it is.

[273] And Netflix, as long as you're funny.

[274] The whole thing is just being funny.

[275] Yeah.

[276] That's the hardest part.

[277] And once it's there, what my goal is to make it seem more obvious how you go from there to being a professional.

[278] And then having it in a way where you're autonomous.

[279] So you have your own podcast.

[280] Because if you're autonomous, then you don't have to worry about not getting cast in this thing because you had a joke about that thing.

[281] Yeah, because that holds people back.

[282] They start, and you start saying woke shit.

[283] Like, I know people that are, like, regular folks that will say woke shit either on stage or on Twitter because they want to affirm that they're in a part of this group of people that will continue to work in Hollywood.

[284] So they'll say things.

[285] So it's like, man, why are you saying that?

[286] Like, such an obvious thing to say.

[287] Yeah.

[288] You know, like, you're saying this nonsensical, fucking silly virtue signaling shit that everybody else says.

[289] but I know you're only doing it because you want to stay inside this group of people.

[290] Yeah, and if your morality or your politics lines up with that type of thinking, do a joke that shows it.

[291] Don't say it.

[292] Don't state it.

[293] And it's like...

[294] And they're stating something that's obvious, like racism is bad.

[295] Yeah.

[296] It's so corny.

[297] Right, right.

[298] There's great ways to do jokes that show that racism is bad without ever having to, you know, put a fucking light on it.

[299] But it's just like this thing that happens when people get scared.

[300] And there's a lot of attacking going on where people, they go to teams.

[301] They get into this pattern and habit of joining teams.

[302] And if you're in Team Hollywood, there's one way to decide about things.

[303] It's the most progressive, most left wing, most inclusive, most this, most that.

[304] Poll it.

[305] Poll it with young people.

[306] Whatever kids in college think is the most important, that's what they're going to talk about.

[307] And if you don't do that, you're fucked.

[308] And what's funny about it is, that's not how most people think.

[309] No, it's not.

[310] I mean, we go to clubs in the Midwest.

[311] We're going to Atlanta this weekend.

[312] It's like, you go there, people aren't far right and they're not far left.

[313] They're far in their garage.

[314] They're far trying to get laid.

[315] They're far trying to just get a raise.

[316] Yes.

[317] They want to go out with their friends and have fun.

[318] They want to have a fun night on the town.

[319] They want to fucking do sports.

[320] They want to do shit that they like to do.

[321] Most people don't give a, fuck about most of these issues that everybody's freaking out about.

[322] That's funny.

[323] Sports is free of politics in that sense.

[324] There's not a team that you would, well, I guess...

[325] Even Tom Brady was a giant Trump supporter and people still loved him because he was just a bad motherfucker.

[326] Right, right, right.

[327] Even lefties who were football fans.

[328] If he was thrown for Tampa Bay, you were fucking pumped.

[329] You know, that's Tom motherfucking Brady, bitch.

[330] Who cares who he's friends with?

[331] Yeah.

[332] Because he's that good.

[333] It's like when Michael Jackson music comes on.

[334] You know he might have been pedophile, but it's like, damn, they still play it.

[335] Although not for Colin Kaepernick.

[336] I mean, there's an argument that he got driven out for his politics.

[337] Well, that I don't mean, is that, how was his performance?

[338] I don't know enough about football to comment on that.

[339] He was considered a first rate starting quarterback.

[340] And so they stopped using him because of his protests?

[341] I mean, it's questionable.

[342] I mean, obviously, it's quantifiable.

[343] to some degree.

[344] I mean, you can look at a quarterback's rating and stuff like that.

[345] That's interesting.

[346] But if he was the best, if he was the LeBron James of quarterbacks, if he was just like this undeniable motherfucker of motherfucker quarterbacks, I bet he would have got away with it.

[347] Yeah.

[348] He was on the bubble.

[349] He was not, yeah, he was not an elite quarterback.

[350] He's not elite.

[351] That's a wild thing to be good at, man. quarterback?

[352] Aaron Rogers.

[353] Aaron Rogers is a buddy of mine who's a very, very smart guy, like shockingly smart and peaceful and like at ease and like very in the moment guy, very interesting guy, intense guy too, but you know, he's one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time.

[354] And that dude is just like he's so present.

[355] It's very interesting, very interesting because that job, man, you got super athletes running.

[356] at you full clip trying to take you out and you're throwing a ball at people and you're a supercomputer you're you've got thousands of configurations of plays in your head that you're communicating to 10 other guys in the 10 seconds you have in that huddle and then you have then you have a choices you got scenario A scenario B scenario C scenario D and you're scanning all of it like a supercomputer while fucking 280 pound guys are running at you and you have to have like laser pinpoint precision with a spiraling ball.

[357] It's a wild way to make a living.

[358] Yeah.

[359] I can see it being addictive.

[360] Like, I can see why Tom Brady left and came back.

[361] I can see it easily.

[362] I mean, I don't know what's going on.

[363] You know, you read these stories in the news.

[364] You don't know how much of it is a horseshit.

[365] But I...

[366] Brett Farve is in deep shit.

[367] What did he do?

[368] It's like a welfare fraud thing?

[369] Yeah, he was friends with the governor of I don't know which governor it was what's that Mississippi yeah yeah yeah he went to he went to he went to Mississippi Southern Mississippi University or some college and his daughter's going there and she's a volleyball player and they needed a new gym or like a stadium for volleyball games and so he talked to the governor and they arranged to siphon money out of a out of a fund that was like a welfare fund meant to feed poor people and they took like six million dollars out of it and built a stadium and there's a whole text chain just I mean plain as day he even says at one point like is there any chance we're going to get caught for doing this oh boy and the governor's like nah don't worry about it we're good oh no yeah and I mean you think about a guy like that what does you make it 20 million dollars a year if you want to buy if you want a fucking volleyball stadium for your kid you got that money You got it.

[370] That's so crazy.

[371] Yeah.

[372] And he had a legacy.

[373] That's like a jailable offense, isn't it?

[374] I mean, is that one of those?

[375] I mean, that seems like one of those ones that wouldn't just be a fine.

[376] That seems like it.

[377] If you're stealing from welfare.

[378] Yeah.

[379] Like, that's the kind of stuff people go away for, right?

[380] Well, especially because one of the millions of dollars went directly to him.

[381] Oh.

[382] Yeah.

[383] So, like, some of it.

[384] went to the school and one of the millions went directly to him.

[385] And he's already so wealthy.

[386] Imagine how much money he would pay to not have that happen.

[387] Hmm.

[388] You know?

[389] He'd pay half his money.

[390] Yeah.

[391] Like this scandal was about to go down right now and people found out like, how much would you pay to not have that happen?

[392] Yeah.

[393] Definitely more than a million.

[394] Oh, yeah.

[395] He'd probably give you like two million.

[396] Shut the fuck up.

[397] Well, he's probably worth 30 or 40 million.

[398] He'd probably give you half of that to not tar.

[399] Arnice the reputation.

[400] And not only that, but might wind up in jail.

[401] Yeah.

[402] You know, there's a problem that needs to be addressed whenever it comes to football players, fighters, combat sports athletes, is that people with CTE oftentimes have very poor decision -making.

[403] It's very complex because everybody's version and severity of CTE is different.

[404] but one of the side effects of having too many concussions is you become very impulsive and you start doing risky things risky behaviors sometimes people get addicted to substances and gambling and a lot of wild shit and it comes from like your brain being rattled like it's just not working right like you have all sorts of impulse control makes sense so I think risky things like this might have been exciting you know like you should have obviously morally known that's not the thing to do but there's something i think for guys that have been hitting the head to any times like risky things are like oh they just want if you're a guy and you've got all your jollies at a playing football i mean you get all your jollies out of being this badass fucking quarterback or some badass running back and the amount of excitement on super bowl day must be unfathomable to us mere mortals.

[405] To us mere mortals, the excitement of being on that field and knowing that millions of people are going to be watching around the world.

[406] Millions.

[407] And there's 50, 60 ,000 people in that place screaming their fucking heads off.

[408] And you're playing football at the highest level of the world.

[409] Fuck, man. You want a guy like that?

[410] You just go back to normal life after he's been hitting the head 50 times?

[411] Hey, I got my own mower now.

[412] Yeah, Jesus Christ.

[413] That guy is going to start gambling.

[414] and going to whorehouses and storing coke and punching traffic attendance like he's fucking bored out of his mind look at Lenny Dykstra man shit oh yeah yeah fuck how about fighters I mean think about how excited you are to go to a Super Bowl think about the excitement level that person has and now you're the guy in the center of it and you've got the possibility if you win of making an extra million in your bonus or whatever else there's so many factors going into that Yeah.

[415] There's a lot going on, and it's retiring from that is got to be incredibly difficult.

[416] And that pales in comparison to someone who they ship overseas to fight in war and then bring them back to America and then just say, all right, you're done.

[417] Just go be normal now.

[418] Also with the head injuries.

[419] Yeah, would you have a hundred combat engagements with the enemy?

[420] You know, how many times did you have to shoot people?

[421] And then you come back over here and you're supposed to be normal.

[422] And when I talk to the guys that have served and experienced combat duty and then come over here, I'm like, how much counseling do you get?

[423] It's very little.

[424] Yeah.

[425] Very little guidance, you know, reach out if you need help.

[426] There's numbers you can call.

[427] But at the end of the day, it's like that's a complex transition to go from literal, war, actual war, like shooting guns at enemy.

[428] They're shooting guns at you.

[429] You're in a foreign land.

[430] You're going through mountains.

[431] People are yelling things in languages you don't know and you're hearing guns going off.

[432] And you might die today or your friends might die today.

[433] But for sure, people you know are going to die.

[434] And also part of your training, a big part of your training, is to not feel.

[435] Yeah.

[436] And so now you're coming back and you're being asked, hey, talk to us.

[437] Let us know how you're feeling.

[438] And it's like, well...

[439] Did you go, sir?

[440] Yeah.

[441] Right, right.

[442] That's why they found that with trauma, with PTSD with soldiers, they found a thing called EMDR, which is a way of doing therapy that doesn't involve talk.

[443] I mean, you talk, but it's not about recognizing feelings.

[444] It's about they give you...

[445] It started with like, you remember, like, watch this, the shrink would take the watch and go back and forth with it.

[446] It's about connecting the two different sides of your brain together.

[447] Have you ever been hypnotized?

[448] No. I have.

[449] Yeah.

[450] My friend Vinnie Shoreman put me under.

[451] He does hypnosis for a lot of fighters.

[452] He does like a mind coach for fighters.

[453] It's a very interesting guy.

[454] Yeah.

[455] And he explained to me what it was.

[456] I like, all right, let's give it a shot.

[457] So on my old studio, I lay down the couch and he talked me through like this, this, I forget exactly how he did it, but we went through this thing.

[458] Like, you know, you're going to be relaxed, you're going to this.

[459] And next thing, you know, I was in like a state of mind.

[460] I was like, this is really fascinating.

[461] It's like this is a, it's almost like you have access with someone else.

[462] When someone helps you and guides you, you have access to a state of mind that you don't achieve independently.

[463] Or I didn't know how to achieve independently.

[464] But it's an unusual state of mind.

[465] It's like a very real thing.

[466] So like when I got hypnotized, I was realizing as it was happening, this is interesting because this is a very real thing.

[467] So it was almost like you're on a drug.

[468] It's like this drug that puts you in a different spot.

[469] Like, oh, here's, let me. unscrew you from your life.

[470] I'm going to put you over here and now look at your life.

[471] And I was like, wow.

[472] I was like, oh, this is a real way of, and then someone can talk to you logically and they can explain things to you and would make sense.

[473] I think everybody's afraid they would wake up with no pants on and like what happened, but I don't think it works like that.

[474] It's all of a sudden you're singing Madonna with no shirt on in front of a comedy club audience.

[475] Yeah.

[476] That was amazing though.

[477] We used to watch, um, uh, Frank Santos, yeah, R -Aid hypnotist from Rhode Island.

[478] He was amazing.

[479] His son does it now.

[480] That's crazy.

[481] And this guy would, he would literally get, but wait, but just to stay on that, like, so what did he walk you through?

[482] Did you have an epiphany?

[483] Like, how similar is it to, like, doing mushrooms or something like that?

[484] It's like a kind of a drug, maybe a little bit, but doesn't feel scary.

[485] It just feels relaxed, and it just, you have some additional clarity, but it does feel like with someone's guidance, you're allowed to escape from your mind and from your life in a weird way I feel like that's what it is like when someone's talking you through it it's like there's a thing about someone like you're letting someone guide your brain and this is what I said about comedy before two when someone's killing on stage like when Joey Diaz is killing on stage I'm thinking the way he's thinking like that's why it's so fun it's because I'm not really calculating anything I'm letting him control my brain I'm letting him and his material take me for a ride and that's what a hypnotist is doing it's like you're letting them take you for this like ride of like peaceful introspective thinking and clarity on your life that's what that's how it felt to me i was like so this is like a mindset that can be achieved this way i mean maybe it could be achieved um by yourself i don't know how to do it but i don't know much about like achieving psychedelic states through breathing i really haven't really tried much other than some yoga breathing exercises that make you feel a little high.

[486] But people get, they, like, people trip balls from breathing exercises.

[487] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[488] Well, you know, Annie Letterman's got some hypnotist that does finances that helps you deal.

[489] Because money is everything.

[490] They'd say it was psychologically, it's a great place to start.

[491] Like when you come into a shrink and you negotiate the price you're going to pay them, that's the first step of your therapy because they can tell so much about you by your relationship to money, how much you hold on to it, how much it scares you.

[492] And so she's got this therapist that she's worked with that she says it's amazing that puts her under.

[493] And then she said she's made a lot of money since she started working with her.

[494] Interesting.

[495] So the therapist is a capitalist.

[496] Yes.

[497] Exactly.

[498] Well, I would imagine if you are tripping yourself up less, you'll make more money.

[499] If you're not getting in your own way.

[500] Because one of the things you find about, like, talented people that get freaked out by success is that they'll start to sabotage.

[501] They'll start to fuck things up.

[502] They'll, you know, show up, miss a flight.

[503] They'll do, you know, they start getting a little crazy.

[504] And it's just because, like, it's the fear of, like, fucking up once you've already started becoming successful.

[505] And people start becoming self -sabotors.

[506] Drugs.

[507] If you just stop that from happening, you would just naturally have an escalation in your country.

[508] career.

[509] If you're good and you're getting better, you'll continue to get better.

[510] If you keep working, you keep showing discipline, you keep having new material, you'll be fine.

[511] But along the way, it's the getting in your own way stuff that fucks people up.

[512] And if you, your therapist could just pull that out.

[513] Stop getting in your own way.

[514] Just not alone, you'd make more money.

[515] I think it also has to do with like my father said to me when I was growing up, we're talking about how successful some people get.

[516] And he said, everybody is at the level that they think they should be at.

[517] And so you can start to become successful and get scared and go, I don't belong up there.

[518] Right.

[519] And so you have to somehow reframe where you see yourself ending up.

[520] Yeah, or not think about it at all like I do.

[521] Yeah.

[522] Just don't think about it.

[523] I think too many people think too much about where they want to be.

[524] I just think you should think about being better at what you do.

[525] I think being better at what you do is a real thing because being where you want to be, you never feel like you're there.

[526] Trust me. No matter where you go, you always want more.

[527] It just never ends.

[528] The only thing that makes sense to me is concentrating on being better at what you do.

[529] So for me, it's like the things that I concentrate the most is like stand up and podcast.

[530] And then with the UFC commentary, man, that job is like, I'm just lucky to be a professional fan.

[531] So all I have to do is just like know who's fighting what their styles are like.

[532] and the thing is playing out.

[533] I mean, I have very little to do with the thing, you know?

[534] So that job is just like a beautiful being a fan reaction job.

[535] But like for podcasts and comedy, if I started thinking about like goals where I want to be in four years and this and that, then I'd be thinking about that instead of thinking about new material.

[536] Or I'd be thinking about that instead of thinking about like, I want to like to be stimulated by this kind of guest.

[537] I want to talk to this guy about this subject.

[538] Like I'm watching this documentary and.

[539] Maybe I can get them to expand on that and explain it to me. Like that, that's the only way it's good to me. Like, and that's the only reason why I think it's good, period, why it works.

[540] Because I don't think about it.

[541] Every time I've been frustrated with where I'm at career -wise, I just, I write some new shit, I go to the club, I do it.

[542] And all of a sudden something happens.

[543] Yes.

[544] It's not necessarily like there's some talent agent with a cigar in the back going, this kid's a star.

[545] It's just more of an energy that you're putting out because you're just like your juices are, flowing and your confidence is up because you're realizing what you're capable of you just have to overcome resistance and that's one of the terms that stephen pressfield uses in the war of art the war of art not to be confused with the art of war oh yeah you gave me that book once yeah and he talks about resistance and that's the resistance is the thing that keeps you from writing the resistance is the thing that keeps you from doing those sets that you know you should go do you know oh man it's tuesday night i want to go out go do that set do it do it you need to do it you need to do And then right and then and right and then the universe will reward you like that that feeling of resistance The feeling you get when you write something new that you know is going to be funny is one of the best feelings ever It's so good.

[546] You're like oh shit.

[547] I got one.

[548] It's like I caught a fish through the ice, you know?

[549] Like I can lay Yeah, it's amazing.

[550] Yeah and so then you know that you were rewarded for overcoming that resistance But so often you just want to like jerk off or watch a movie or eat a pizza or play a video game.

[551] But if you could just force yourself to sit in front of that fucking computer.

[552] Whenever I do, I come up with something, a punchline, a tagline, a new premise, something.

[553] If I can just get, if I could sit there for two hours, just two hours, just drink some coffee, smoke a little weed, and just sit there for two hours.

[554] Something's going to happen, man. That's what's amazing.

[555] When I look at people that, like you, Bill Burr, people that really, like Louis C .K., people that really create at a high level, like, it is the ability to not eat that pizza or play that video game.

[556] And there's something in most people that can't resist that.

[557] And it goes back, I can remember being in college and having a fucking turn paper due.

[558] And instead going out for a beer or jerking off or whatever.

[559] And, you know, and I'm like, you know, it's.

[560] I don't know what that is.

[561] I don't know if that's completely innate or if that's something you can build on.

[562] You can build on it.

[563] 100 % you can build on it.

[564] Everybody think, it's like what you were saying before about being as wealthy or as successful, rather, as you think you should be.

[565] You know, that everyone is as successful as I think they should be eventually.

[566] I think that's, I think it's similar to that.

[567] I think you just decide that you're this person that fucks things up and you continue to fuck things up because that's your past.

[568] It's like one thing I've said before.

[569] that I had to learn very early on because, you know, when I was a kid, I got bullied a lot and, you know, I was kind of very timid and worried about people kicking my ass because we moved around a lot.

[570] And then I became a martial artist.

[571] And then in the process of becoming a martial artist, I realized, like, I would still get nervous when I was around people who bullied me before when I was younger.

[572] Like, I didn't feel like, I should have been just like, hey, fuckface, but I was still nervous around them.

[573] Even though I knew I could kill them.

[574] I was still nervous around them because I programmed myself to feel like a loser when I was in this town, when I was around these people, when I was in like a certain, like I had like a triggered memory.

[575] And I was like, oh, and it made me realize like you can decide you are your worst failures or you can decide that you're you.

[576] You're you right now.

[577] Like all that, don't hold on to that.

[578] That's a valuable lesson.

[579] It sucked when someone kicked your ass or when you fell on your ass and looked like a. fucking loser in front of everybody, but those moments are very important for who you are right now.

[580] But it doesn't mean you're still that person.

[581] Some people are never separate from their worst memories.

[582] The biggest mistakes, getting their ass kicked in front of it.

[583] People have gotten their ass kicked in high school and never recovered.

[584] Never recovered.

[585] Have been a confidence mess, their whole life, been shell -shocked from one ass -kicking, especially if they deserved it.

[586] They're picking on some guy and he fucking beats their and he gets on YouTube, he might never recover.

[587] You will constantly be in your mind, you at your worst moment.

[588] Instead of having the ability to come back, talk to that guy and go, dude, I was a fucking piece of shit, and thank you for kicking my ass.

[589] You're right.

[590] You're right.

[591] I was in the wrong.

[592] I shouldn't have been a bully.

[593] I was a dick.

[594] I don't even know why I'm doing it.

[595] I'm only 17.

[596] I'm a fucking idiot.

[597] I'm growing and learning.

[598] But I'm not your enemy.

[599] Like, that's a beautiful moment that everyone's did.

[600] denied.

[601] Like, no one, you're not going to see that YouTube video.

[602] You're going to see the video of that guy who deserved it, getting his ass kicks.

[603] And for that guy, that moment, when people experience a bad moment in their life, that moment when it's something as brutal as like getting your ass kick when you deserved it, that can fucking define you forever.

[604] Well, not only as a kid, but like, I think about, like, we were talking about guys that have gone, and women that have gone on SNL and after a year or two, it doesn't work out and then they just become ghosts in the comedy world.

[605] And then you look at like Shane Gillis, who didn't even get on the show, but had a traumatic experience of almost getting on the show and how he dealt with that and how he recovered and how he rose from those ashes and how he got stronger.

[606] And then you got the guys that are still, that's still their credit that they were on SNL and you're like, I don't remember you on SNL and it was like 12 years ago and they never got back on the horse again.

[607] They lost their confidence.

[608] That SNL thing is a totally different environment and if you've ever heard Jim Brewer talk about it, Jim talked about on this podcast that he would come up with premises for sketches and he'd be working on a sketch and so you have to put in like a database, everything you're working on and other writers would steal those premises and write their own sketches on those premises and just like take just hamstring them.

[609] Yeah.

[610] And he can He confronted them, and there was, like, yelling and screaming, and eventually his wife talked to him into leaving.

[611] Jim Brewer is a great example, though, of a guy who, because he left Saturday Night Live, people kind of slept on him, and they forgot that he's one of the best comics alive.

[612] That dude is so funny, man. He's so fucking good, and he's such a good guy.

[613] He's such, what you see is what you get.

[614] he's a rock solid human being yeah he's a great guy yeah and he became more famous over time just through like the accumulation of videos getting out there because he doesn't promote himself he doesn't try he doesn't give a fuck he's like a genuine person he was happy to just go and he has a legion of fan so he can go sell out comedy clubs any fucking time he wants he shows up in here and there and he's just killing it for the weekend and goes back home to jersey and relaxed Yeah, he's out in the country.

[615] And then when the pandemic hit and all the craziness in Jersey, he bailed and went to Florida.

[616] He's like, fuck it.

[617] Oh, I didn't know that.

[618] And now he's dead in a tornado.

[619] No, sorry.

[620] That's not fun.

[621] Is he in Florida now?

[622] Yeah, he's in Florida.

[623] No shit.

[624] Imagine if he died, I feel like such a piece of shit.

[625] The last stop.

[626] Why don't I feel like a piece of shit that everybody died there?

[627] There's like how many deaths have happened in a hurricane?

[628] I don't think that many.

[629] Did you see Don Lemon was trying to talk some climate scientist into saying that this is this hurricane is because of climate science?

[630] And he's like, I'm not, you know, it's not exactly how it works.

[631] I'm just trying to explain to you what is going on and this is the hurricane.

[632] And, you know, we can cover that more broadly.

[633] I know.

[634] Every time there's a cold day, all of the climate deniers say, oh, where's your global warming?

[635] And then every time there's a hurricane, everybody on the left is like, well, this is be, yeah.

[636] Dude, that is a complex issue.

[637] Yeah.

[638] That's a complex issue that we're in danger of getting ideologically boxed into.

[639] because no one is ever going to deny that climate change is going to have a giant effect on humans and it seems to be increasing no one's ever going to deny that no lot of people denying that yeah but no one logical right like it's happening but what i'm saying is like the temperature is rising yeah but what's interesting is why people want to ignore the fact that it's always done this like humans have without without a doubt we have an effect on that with uh carbon emissions are up and who knows what the fuck the gas is in the air and all the crazy shit we do with mass production and energy consumption but it's always been up and down like if you I had this guy Steve Coonan on the podcast who's a physicist and he wasn't even a climate scientist he just a guy just decided to like examine the models and he's like if you go like thousands of years it's all crazy it's all like this and that it's up by this many degrees and down by that it's like it's never stable ever when there was humans living in fucking caves It was never stable.

[640] But when they were looking at it over 100 years, you can get these crazy spikes.

[641] You're like, oh, my God, look, we started using gas -powered cars and it was going up and up.

[642] But if you go a thousand years, that's totally normal.

[643] All that stuff's normal.

[644] The question is, how much of an impact do we have on it?

[645] That's not totally being quantified.

[646] Like, they're not exactly sure.

[647] They know it's a significant impact, but they know this is happening anyway.

[648] And the Ice Age happened anyway.

[649] The Ice Age happened without us.

[650] It didn't have anything to do with it.

[651] Yeah.

[652] It's going to happen again.

[653] It's probably going to happen again.

[654] It's probably this constant cycle.

[655] X many thousands of years, this happens, and then X many thousands of years, that happens.

[656] And that's why the fucking Sahara Desert used to be a rainforest.

[657] Do you know that?

[658] That giant -ass fucking desert in Africa, that was all tropical.

[659] Wow.

[660] Yeah.

[661] All of that stuff's like that.

[662] That's a constant shifting from like these tropical rainforests into deserts.

[663] And then back and forth.

[664] Yeah, over thousands, thousands of years.

[665] We just look at things through this tiny little window of history.

[666] What we wrote down.

[667] What do we know?

[668] What do we know?

[669] It's hot this time of years had Doris in 1822.

[670] Like, we don't have, like, satellite Doppler radar from 1822.

[671] So we have, like, this window of, like, a couple of hundred years of people paying attention and writing shit down.

[672] But then when they do core samples of the Earth and they find, like, the Earth's temperature, they try to, like, do the calculations over like thousands of years like it's always shifting it's always going crazy this whole fucking world used to be connected in one island pangia it was one big thing they think and just separated slowly in his land this is chaos like it's always changing it has nothing to do with electric cars it's always changing and if you buy one of those fucking houses on stilts and you're in sentimental Monaco or Malibu like good luck bitch yeah what a risk you're taking that shit's going to move yeah it's going to move in a mile 10 miles there's a lot of cities like Miami they're already saying like when there's a full moon and a high tide the fucking downtown is like underwater like that's a big city this is like now you know dude it's so crazy and the the ground in Miami around that area is porous yeah like when the water goes up it's going to go through the ground Yeah.

[673] Like, it's not like something's going to stop it.

[674] Right, right.

[675] No, no, no, it's just going to go right through the ground.

[676] That's a swamp.

[677] You guys have a giant, awesome city on a swamp.

[678] And they were told years ago, they looked at it and they were like, people shouldn't live here.

[679] And they're like, no, no, this is great.

[680] This is great.

[681] And they sold land to everybody.

[682] The crazy thing is they're still selling land.

[683] So what do they know?

[684] It's like the bankers aren't stupid.

[685] If they would consult with people to try to figure out if someone's going to default on their loans, if they're going to sell them, like, property, like, right there on the beach.

[686] Because if, you know, the insurance companies get involved, like, whoa, whoa, how much is this house?

[687] 50 million.

[688] Jesus Christ.

[689] How many feet is it from the water?

[690] Yeah.

[691] 10 feet from the water.

[692] So you're willing to bet $50 million that that water doesn't move any closer than 10 feet?

[693] Maybe go 20 feet.

[694] You know how close 10 feet is, bitch?

[695] 10 feet is this desk This is the water And Jamie is your fucking house This is the ocean Dude what about the people that are in New Orleans That are rebuilding Like rebuilding for what I think it's the vibe New Orleans is another country I mean it really feels like Those people get to drink on the street Yeah They have that cool way of talking They got great food I'm going there next Friday It's dangerous there It's my second time ever being there.

[696] Dangerous crime -wise.

[697] They're not doing so good with the crime.

[698] But as far as like the vibe of the city, man, I know people that just, they swear by it.

[699] Yeah.

[700] You know.

[701] But what's nice is like, when I think about how many times me and my jackass friends have gone to Vegas and you always come home feeling like had.

[702] You just feel that emptiness of like leaving a strip club of like, what did I just do?

[703] And then you think you could spend that same money and go to a place like New Orleans or Nashville where there's like a real culture where there's like real shit that's you know well that's why people like to visit austin go see the live music yeah there's so much live music here yeah we went out the other night it was fun god damn there's so many musicians here there's so many talented people yeah it's a it's a crazy town in that regard but have a thing that you could do like that is yeah that's fun go have a few drinks go to a real thing yeah the problem with vagus is it's like everyone's like it's like it's like you're at a 24 -7 new year's eve show You know, you know those New Year's Eve shows?

[704] I don't like them.

[705] I don't do them anymore.

[706] I stopped doing them.

[707] I did one a couple years back.

[708] And they were great.

[709] People were great.

[710] But there's a thing where it's like, it's New Year's.

[711] It's not just a show.

[712] It's like this thing on top of the show.

[713] It's bigger than the show, yeah.

[714] Everybody wants to scream and yell.

[715] How much is it affecting your life?

[716] This weird capturing of time in calendars and watches and cell phones.

[717] Like, how weird is that?

[718] because it's just time is this right there right now that's it that's time all that other shit like this year is this year and I've done that for six months that's all in your head it's my birthday yeah oh my god who gives up the worst the worst bitch you had one birthday it was 32 years ago let it go let it go why are you interrupting my dinner with your cake I'm not singing leave everyone alone you think these fucking three bus boys want to be singing right now there's tables that need to be cleaned up Bro, that's a game -changing for me. If there's a buddy and he gets mad that I didn't wish him a happy birthday, we're not talking to me. You need to go to a doctor.

[719] Whatever's really bothering you.

[720] Aren't we men?

[721] I mean, aren't we men?

[722] What the fuck are you talking about?

[723] How underappreciated do you feel that you need us all to say happy birthday to you and you're 47?

[724] That's not even a think.

[725] That's not even a round number.

[726] Get the fuck out of here with your birthday.

[727] I have not gone out for my birthday.

[728] I mean, I'll go out with my wife, maybe.

[729] But, like, I would not ask my friends to get together and buy me a present.

[730] I would not ask my friends to do anything.

[731] Yeah.

[732] I think your friends are supposed to just be your friends.

[733] Yeah.

[734] You know, if I need some help with something, I'll ask my friends for something.

[735] I don't need a fucking friend to give me a happy birthday party.

[736] Yeah.

[737] Hey, bro, you know, I just think it'd be really cool if you threw me a birthday party this year.

[738] I mean, you're my best friend and no one's ever throwing me a birthday party.

[739] You know, I figured if I was going to come to anybody, I'd come to you.

[740] I just really like it to be at Wild Wings.

[741] And it could be 80s theme.

[742] It would be really cool if it was 80s theme.

[743] It'd be nice.

[744] Yeah, we all dressed like old video games.

[745] Yeah.

[746] Fuck out of here.

[747] And like I, you know, I got registered.

[748] I got registered at Williamson.

[749] Oh, the registered.

[750] Go to a doctor.

[751] Women talk so much shit about like when women register.

[752] Oh, look with this bitch register.

[753] Yeah.

[754] Look at she's trying to get it.

[755] It's like you're airing your needs.

[756] Look what you need.

[757] A douche?

[758] You register for a douche?

[759] You're hoping somebody goes off.

[760] You know, hoping someone goes off.

[761] So you'll include some high items, high value items, just in case.

[762] Just in case some well -heeled individuals coming to my big shinding.

[763] And then it shames everybody else because they see the big -ticket item and then they buy you some utensils.

[764] Do you see that McKenzie Bezos got divorced again?

[765] Is that Jeff Bezos's ex -wife?

[766] She got rematch.

[767] I had a bit about it that I had to bail on the bit because I felt, I felt mean and personal.

[768] Not even mean.

[769] It's not mean.

[770] The bit is that a woman worth 30, she's worth, she won $39 billion in the divorce settlement.

[771] No. And then she immediately married a high school science teacher.

[772] So the bit was about a woman worth $39 billion marrying a dude worth $3 ,200.

[773] I was like, that guy doesn't have shit to say in that relationship.

[774] I'm like, that guy doesn't get to pick any of the color of the walls.

[775] And I'm like, you know how I know.

[776] That's a one -sided 69 position.

[777] Yeah, because the way I know is because I don't get to pick anything in my house.

[778] My wife doesn't even work.

[779] That guy's fucked.

[780] Like, he has zero chance.

[781] If she's that rich, I'm like, that guy's on his best behavior.

[782] Right, right.

[783] I go, he's got his pronouns and his Twitter bio.

[784] He's drinking white wine.

[785] He's neutered.

[786] He's planning her birthday party a year in advance.

[787] I'm like, that guy's a performance artist.

[788] He's putting on a show.

[789] He knows how much money she has.

[790] I'm like, how long can you be.

[791] be cool.

[792] Well, it turns out 24 months.

[793] He couldn't keep it together.

[794] There's no way you could be yourself if your wife is worth $39 billion.

[795] Yeah.

[796] It's just too hard to be yourself.

[797] Too hard.

[798] Why is there a Lamborghini in the staff parking lot?

[799] I want one!

[800] You have $39 billion!

[801] And she's like just fully committed to social justice and my prison reform.

[802] And she's like, she's really kind of a beautiful soul in that regard.

[803] Like, she's a very, very wealthy woman who's committed to philanthropy.

[804] And she's spending all this money, all this money, billions of dollars on affordable housing, on really cool stuff.

[805] Like, it's really cool to see what she's doing.

[806] She's keeping a lot of money.

[807] She's got plenty of money.

[808] Give him a fucking Lamborghini.

[809] Come on.

[810] Come on.

[811] He's late for school.

[812] The guy was a science teacher.

[813] He's probably fascinated by engineering.

[814] Yep.

[815] You're supposed to live like a bowler.

[816] I remember Joey Diaz got mad at us once.

[817] We were talking about micro -houses.

[818] about people who live off the grid and they've been living these little...

[819] What the fuck you're talking about micro house?

[820] Get a fucking house.

[821] You're a baller.

[822] You want a mansion, cock sucker.

[823] You want people to walk over your house and go look at this motherfucker's house.

[824] That's what you want.

[825] I was like, he's right.

[826] Jeff Bezos, his ex -wife.

[827] He should have a fucking laboratory behind the house with just like all kinds of animals.

[828] Buy him shit, McKenzie.

[829] Yeah.

[830] Buy him a Lambo.

[831] Yeah.

[832] But the thing is like you can't because then everyone knows.

[833] See, like, you get caught in that trap of philanthropy where you're not allowed to be a consumption person anymore.

[834] You can't fly private jets now for their philanthropists.

[835] Especially not the climate accords.

[836] You find out how many people flew private jets to climate accords?

[837] Like, Christ, people.

[838] This is terrible messaging.

[839] Yeah.

[840] But it's like if you get in that world, you can't, like, wear some crazy expensive watch and some crazy expensive purse and world.

[841] You can't do the flashy, showy things that.

[842] billionaire women like to do.

[843] Billionaire women like to wear like half million dollar watches.

[844] You know, they walk around with things that are covered in diamonds and shit.

[845] That's what they like.

[846] They like to show all those other bitches.

[847] The only shit I got.

[848] Oh, you're a yachts 150 feet.

[849] Ours is 210 feet, motherfucker.

[850] Yeah.

[851] Like Jeff Bezos just built the biggest yacht in the world.

[852] I just read about that.

[853] They were going to deconstruct a bridge to get it through.

[854] No shit.

[855] People got so angry.

[856] I think it was in Netherlands.

[857] Okay.

[858] Oh, yeah.

[859] Netherlands.

[860] But that's what you do.

[861] That's what you do when you got that kind of cash.

[862] Well, that's what I, there was an article in the New Yorker about these super yachts and it said that one, there was some guy that was like, it's old, it's the ultimate way of saying, oh, you got a house in the Hamptons, I got a house in the Hamptons.

[863] You got a driver.

[864] I got a driver.

[865] You got a helicopter.

[866] You got a helicopter.

[867] How big is your yacht?

[868] They're like, that's what it really comes down to these days.

[869] Because the amount of money involved in yacht life, if you go on yacht life, the amount of money is insane.

[870] Yeah.

[871] These are people that are like a hundred million dollars a year like it's that kind of money to run a yacht mm -hmm I have a buddy who's got a yacht and he's very wealthy and it's very strange how much time does he spend on it um a lot he loves he loves it I mean he's he's fortunate enough that he runs a bunch of successful things that he can do them remotely so he's more of like a manager at this point you know it just like handles all these various entities that he runs but he's very successful and Because that's the thing is in the old days, you could, if you were rich and you bought a yacht, you couldn't go on it.

[872] You needed to be running your business.

[873] And now you can do that shit from Zoom.

[874] What I was going to say is he's very successful, but he knows how to have fun.

[875] And he knows, like, the value of relaxation and fun.

[876] And he's set it up well, just because he's smart.

[877] So he parties.

[878] So he likes to get drunk.

[879] So he just fucking has this giant house that floats on the ocean.

[880] And he has a whole staff that works for him there.

[881] It's a weird life, man. But you're like, damn, I can get used to this.

[882] Have you been on it?

[883] Yes.

[884] Yeah, hung out with them.

[885] Our families are friends, too, so we all hung out together.

[886] So it was just like being on there, like, man, this is a wild life.

[887] Yeah.

[888] You get used to this.

[889] Yeah.

[890] But things like, where do you go from there?

[891] And I think that's the thing about money people, people that are just interested in money.

[892] It's like you constantly want the new bigger, crazier thing.

[893] You constantly, like, I get that a yacht would be amazing.

[894] Don't get me wrong.

[895] I'm not, but what I'm saying is, like, when you keep getting it.

[896] bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger like what are you doing what do you do you ever get to the yacht that's like this is a perfect size yacht we're good you know let's just have fun together no no you just want another you want a supersonic jet I heard they're coming out with supersonic private jets you're gonna be able to go anywhere in the world in four hours let's go and then you gotta be the first guy for the super sonic jet Jeff Bezos is gonna have one he's gonna paint it like a dick that's what he's gonna do just big vainy dick just fucking you know how much of us Kill him watching his ex -wife giving away all that money.

[897] Do you think she did a pre -nup?

[898] She must have done a crazy pre -nup with that teacher.

[899] I hope so.

[900] Even if he gets one 10 ,000th of her money, he'll be worth $20 million.

[901] I hope that dude walks around with like gold chains and fucking open shirts from now on.

[902] I hope he goes full heel.

[903] Just Rick Flair in the 90s.

[904] Woo!

[905] He's at the chalkboard.

[906] His point just made of gold.

[907] It's got diamonds on it.

[908] No more teaching.

[909] Well, that's one of the things in the bit I was saying, like, you know, the guy, like, you know, who she wants him to be is, like, this cool science teacher.

[910] But you can't be that once you're married a lady worth $39 billion.

[911] So you quit your job.

[912] So you quit.

[913] Please stop teaching.

[914] And now he's got no identity.

[915] He's the guy that hangs around the house.

[916] Yeah.

[917] Yeah.

[918] It's a tricky relationship.

[919] Yeah.

[920] You know, when a woman's worth that much more than you.

[921] Fuck.

[922] I mean, that's not like she makes $100 ,000 a year.

[923] make 75 you know no no no no she has 38 billion shit that's a lot of moo loss yeah and for a woman like that it's probably very difficult to know for sure if a man is sincere you know because there's there's wolves out there you know there's male and female wolves and there's gold diggers but there's men that'll like scam on a woman like that you know like that's a target like she has to like People will, like, move to her town to try to coordinate a potential...

[924] Join the right yoga class.

[925] Yes, yes.

[926] It gets sketchy.

[927] Because she's, you know, if someone's a con man or someone's just sociopathic and they have a plan, like if you have a plan to start a business, what's the plan?

[928] Plan is I'm going to do this and that and that, and I'm going to make a bunch of money.

[929] I have a plan to marry that lady because she's worth $39 billion.

[930] Like, it's kind of a business, right?

[931] Being a gold digger is a business.

[932] Yeah.

[933] It really is.

[934] Yeah, there was this great podcast about this guy down in Orange County, and he had just got out of prison.

[935] He was homeless, and he found this rich lady, and he just came up with a plan, and he tracked her, and he started.

[936] I forgot how he met her, but he had moved in within three days.

[937] Jesus Christ.

[938] And he just said that he lived in the desert, like he had a house, a big mansion in the desert, and he bought, and he had scrubs.

[939] And so he wore scrubs and said he was a doctor.

[940] But he wasn't a doctor.

[941] He just bought fucking scrubs and he'd leave every day and pretend he was going to the hospital.

[942] And he ended up killing.

[943] Oh, wait, did he kill her?

[944] I think he killed her.

[945] And then there's a crazy final scene where the daughter knows about him and they're in a fucking empty parking garage.

[946] And he tries to kill her and she fucking kills him.

[947] Oh, my God.

[948] Or she at least stabs him where he's incapacitated.

[949] Oh, my God.

[950] Oh, my God.

[951] Oh, my God.

[952] Oh, my God.

[953] And he had done it serially.

[954] He had done it with a number of women.

[955] There was a show once where they were following this guy who got scammed by these, those guys pretending to be women online and engaging in, like, relationships with men where they'll send them correspondence and photos and, you know, and talk to them.

[956] I can't wait to meet you.

[957] No. What are you talking about?

[958] Men pretending to be women?

[959] No, no, no, no, no, no. No. they're scammers and so they contact lonely men and they pretend to be a woman like Nigerian scammers and they send photos you know they just steal a bunch of girls photos from Facebook so this poor guy went to Europe he was a divorced man and I think he was a widower and he was like in the 60s and he went to Europe twice to meet with this woman and every time she had an excuse why she couldn't meet him and he went back again and the the girl's daughter was just so desponding because he's all of his money he didn't have much but all his money he's sending to her he's sending her $20 ,000 she has to get out of this and that and so people are coming after her she's really in trouble and she owes money could you please help and he's helping her we're going to get together my darling we're going to be together forever and then he would go there and she couldn't make it I couldn't go my mother got sick like just like this poor fucking guy believed damn and it wasn't even a good scam it wasn't even like physical contact right yeah but a physical contact scam where someone can pretend they love you and you're lonely and like finally my prayers have been answered this person who's so amazing and then everybody's like listen I think Mark might be full of shit fuck you Mark's amazing all they think about is how good they feel now that Mark's in their life and Mark gives them back rubs and loneliness is a painful thing I mean I can't I mean of all the human emotions to feel like loneliness is is at the top of this things you don't want to sit with and if somebody can come in and they can alleviate that and they can make you feel loved and cared about in a world that's full of rejection whether it's work or friends or your kids maybe fucking left.

[960] Like this woman, she was actually really successful so it was hard to figure out why she had such a gaping hole in her that she would look to this guy for affection.

[961] But it was like...

[962] Yeah, but it's romantic affection.

[963] Yeah.

[964] It doesn't matter how successful you are.

[965] See, that's all nonsense.

[966] Because once you're successful enough where you don't have to worry about food and money and housing, everything else is nonsense so the success doesn't help the loneliness the matter of fact it probably accentuates it because it's the thing that everybody always thinks is going to like make them happy like the thing that people think is going to make them happy is success like one day i'll be the boss that i'll be happy like no you're going to be happy or you're not going to be happy you'll be happy or having achieved your goals but it's not going to make you happy and so if you're already a rich lady and you're just rotting with loneliness like you're a drug addict who like You never get cured.

[967] You never get free of the pull of heroin.

[968] You need it.

[969] We all need it.

[970] It's the worst thing they can do to you in jail.

[971] You're in a fucking metal and cement box filled with rapists and murderers.

[972] The worst thing they could do is leave you alone.

[973] Like, we're connected to each other.

[974] Yeah.

[975] And if you don't get that love from people, I remember when I moved to L .A. in 94, I came out here to do this television show, and we were out here for like two weeks.

[976] and I was staying in the Oakwood Gardens, and I didn't have any friends.

[977] So I'd go to the comedy store at night, and I would hang out there, and I would try to do a set, and I was what's called a non -paid regular, which means I could go up after the show, because Mitzi wasn't sure about me yet.

[978] And so I was doing that, and I had no real interaction with anybody.

[979] And then this girl that I was working with, one of the other actresses on the set, she gave me a hug.

[980] Yeah.

[981] And it was the best hug anybody ever gave me in my life.

[982] It was totally just loving, non -sexual, non -flirty, just a, you're my friend, here's a hug.

[983] And I was like, oh, yeah.

[984] I was like, oh, my God, I'll never forget that feeling because I was like, oh, my God, I needed that.

[985] Dude, I got one of those out here the other day.

[986] What's, I'm spacing the woman's name who used to work at the store.

[987] You give hugs like that.

[988] I love hugging you.

[989] Yeah, yeah, I like hugging you.

[990] Yeah, yeah.

[991] Because we love each other.

[992] Yeah, yeah.

[993] We've been friends for so long.

[994] Yep, I know.

[995] When I hug you, it's like a, it's a warm hug.

[996] Yeah.

[997] And there's no. back padding.

[998] No, there's no bullshit.

[999] No. There's no hate bro.

[1000] Yeah.

[1001] But that woman, what's the woman's name?

[1002] She used to work at the store and now she's out here and I think she's going to manage.

[1003] Carrie Mitchell.

[1004] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1005] She's the best.

[1006] She gave me a nice hug the other night.

[1007] Oh, she's the best.

[1008] She's the best.

[1009] I'm so glad we got her out here.

[1010] Yeah.

[1011] We got a great crew.

[1012] You got a good crew.

[1013] Yeah.

[1014] We got all the All -Stars.

[1015] Uh -huh.

[1016] Yeah, and we haven't even started yet.

[1017] I mean, everything's going great already.

[1018] You know, the scene here is incredible.

[1019] There's like 12 world -class comics living here.

[1020] I've seen it.

[1021] I've been doing shows here the last three nights and it's just crazy and now you got Brian out here Brian Simpson is a motherfucker he's a motherfucker he's coming with me to London he's like Mike Tyson he just comes at you slow and steady straight at you such good writing yeah the right is good and his attitude he does not give a fuck on stage no well he's free now because now he's successful and now he's got a Netflix special now he's killing it on the road and he's killing it on stage like Like, he's free, and he's doing it the right way.

[1022] He just works every day, always writing, always right.

[1023] And he moved here.

[1024] Yep, moved here.

[1025] Crazy.

[1026] Yeah.

[1027] It's a good spot, dude.

[1028] Comedy decentralized.

[1029] Comedy separated from Hollywood is the best comedy.

[1030] It's like it's the freest.

[1031] At the, uh, what's the cult?

[1032] At the Vulcan.

[1033] You walk out and they are literally, they look like when you're about to feed puppies.

[1034] They just look up at you like, Like, I'm so excited you're about to make me laugh, as opposed to being in L .A. where the arms are crossed and they're like, oh, you're not Sebastian Manusculko, you know.

[1035] These are real people.

[1036] Yeah.

[1037] Texas has real people in them.

[1038] And I didn't think that was a thing.

[1039] I thought, you know, I go here.

[1040] I have a good time.

[1041] That's fun.

[1042] But there is a general attitude that people have here that is way healthier.

[1043] They're just regular people.

[1044] It is weird.

[1045] The schism in Austin between, like, I was talking about the other night.

[1046] the cab drivers, the Uber driver always wants to tell you how Austin used to be better.

[1047] And then you've got the, then you, so you've got like these OG Austin people that are like flip -flop wearing, pot t -shirts.

[1048] And, and then you've got like the guys with the loafers and the the dress shirt tucked in.

[1049] Yeah.

[1050] You know.

[1051] Tech guys.

[1052] Yeah, there's a lot of those people around.

[1053] And then like, like Adam was just telling me about his apartment.

[1054] Like he was in an apartment and they jacked up the rent 40 % on them in one year.

[1055] And I said that to a couple of people and they were like, oh no, that's standard the last couple years.

[1056] Yeah, they're just, you rent is going up that much.

[1057] Well, there's that much of a demand because so many people moved here.

[1058] And there's not a lot of houses to buy.

[1059] Yeah.

[1060] It's tricky.

[1061] Yeah, when I was up...

[1062] Some people get mad at you.

[1063] Oh, when I was upstairs watching Brian Simpson last night.

[1064] And he goes, so I lived in L .A., but I just moved out here from California and a guy under his breath just goes, fuck you.

[1065] But Tony Hinchclips at a bar the other night Some guy comes up to him And he goes, hey, what's up, Tony?

[1066] And Tony goes, oh, hey, how are you doing, man?

[1067] And he goes, fuck you for ruining my city.

[1068] And he goes, oh, I didn't know it was your city.

[1069] He goes, how long you live here?

[1070] The guy goes, 11 years.

[1071] He goes, thanks for keeping it warm for us.

[1072] We'll take it from here.

[1073] He just tapped him out.

[1074] We'll take it from here.

[1075] 11 years, bitch, get the fuck out of here.

[1076] We've been here for two.

[1077] Shut the fuck out.

[1078] That's basically the same thing.

[1079] New York was like that, too.

[1080] All these people come from Iowa and move to Brooklyn for 10 years.

[1081] Ari talks about that.

[1082] He said those are the people that yell out at the store.

[1083] Boo!

[1084] Or at the cellar.

[1085] Yeah.

[1086] If they don't like your premise, boo.

[1087] You can't wait to have blue hair.

[1088] Yeah.

[1089] It's just people, man. Some people are gross.

[1090] Yeah.

[1091] Some people just, no matter what, they're on a team and they're gross.

[1092] And they can't help themselves.

[1093] It's just like they're surrounded by stupid people.

[1094] That's what they've absorbed.

[1095] Those are the patterns they've got in their head.

[1096] They've never done anything that challenged them to break out of whatever pattern they're on.

[1097] Yeah.

[1098] And sometimes you run into them.

[1099] Yeah.

[1100] And oftentimes they're in the crowd and they want to get drunk and yell out stupid shit.

[1101] It's so freeing when you can see them for what they are, though, and just laugh right in their faces.

[1102] Yeah.

[1103] You know, like, I, God, I heard these two guys, I'm staying in a, I won't say what hotel, but you put me in a very nice hotel here in town, and I walk past the lobby in these two guys.

[1104] No, four guys, and they all had the dress shirts on and the fun.

[1105] And they all look like they do like, what do you call that workout now?

[1106] CrossFit?

[1107] Yeah, they do like CrossFit, and they're all like tan, and they all have crew cuts.

[1108] And I just hear one go, go, well, what about the capitalization?

[1109] and I just stopped and I went Yeah, what about the capitalization?

[1110] And then I just turned out and walk away.

[1111] Fucking communist.

[1112] That guy's probably a liberal.

[1113] Yeah.

[1114] What's he doing in this hotel?

[1115] He doesn't belong in this hotel.

[1116] Probably losing money.

[1117] Yeah, someone else is paying for it, I bet.

[1118] Well, probably.

[1119] I like to see his fucking portfolio.

[1120] I bet it's shit.

[1121] I bet he's heavily weighted in small tech cap stocks.

[1122] I bet that fucking idiot invested in Bitcoin.

[1123] That's one bullet I dodged The thing that gets me is the NFT thing People that want to sell NFTs I want you to be in a partnership with an NFT with me I'm like what are you saying I don't even know what you're saying Why I got in a spaceship with me?

[1124] I've had 80 people explain it to me now I'm like I don't get it I get that guy Beeple You know what he does Beeple does do you know he is Oh that's pretty cool Dude it's the shit That guy does a new piece of digital art Every single day So if you buy an NFT from people.

[1125] First of all, you're buying a physical piece of art and you could put it in your NFT wallet or whatever the fuck that is.

[1126] But what he's doing is creating a gallery.

[1127] He has a legitimate gallery fill of this digital art and it's amazing shit.

[1128] And he's so dedicated to it.

[1129] He puts out one piece every fucking day, no matter what.

[1130] Oh.

[1131] And it's all like that kind of stuff?

[1132] Illustrations?

[1133] It's all digitally created artwork.

[1134] Some of it is like dicks and missile silos and shit.

[1135] And he goes, if people are trying to find, like, hidden meeting, he goes, it's fucking dick, it's just dicks.

[1136] It's like, he's hilarious.

[1137] He's a great guy.

[1138] Have you never seen this shit?

[1139] Pull up a people's, um, Instagram page.

[1140] It's amazing.

[1141] Oh, wow.

[1142] What's that, Jamie?

[1143] I'm on his website right now.

[1144] Oh, that's great.

[1145] Yeah, look at that.

[1146] That's amazing.

[1147] N -Gent baby Trump, it's his end game.

[1148] It's naked baby Trump on top of the, I mean, how amazing is that?

[1149] Woke Island Wookie Island Whoa I see a WU and O I just assume it's woke Reset button Oh wow Yeah so his stuff is all like Some of it's hilarious Some of it's really disturbing Santa came early That must be fun For a guy like that That's his life He found something he's good at That he loves And he found a way To wake up every morning and go let's fucking imagine let's play let's do this and it he was so consistent in how he did it that he got to whoa are they all changing are you doing that I'm changing it oh I'm going through them you got a little ADD don't you fella some of these are good I'm looking at it quick look at that but the point being it's like he was just so consistent and so disciplined that he just consistently put them out and now he's making hundreds of millions millions of dollars doing this.

[1150] Damn, no shit, really.

[1151] The art in the galleries?

[1152] He's like an art crumb kind of a guy.

[1153] Yeah, he's like the, in terms of um, uh, NFTs and like sales of digital art, he's like the number one guy, isn't it?

[1154] No shit.

[1155] Or is one of them.

[1156] Two point four million followers.

[1157] It's changing often now because people are doing it.

[1158] Yeah, two point four million followers.

[1159] Plus when you make an NFT, every time it gets resold, he makes more money off of that.

[1160] Click on that chimp one.

[1161] But it's also like they're not, you're actually getting real digital art from this guy.

[1162] Look at that.

[1163] So what's the difference between if I buy the NFT that shows me that or me just going to his Instagram account looking at it?

[1164] Because you get something like that.

[1165] Oh.

[1166] You get a piece, like a digital piece of art too.

[1167] And you, that's where it gets squirly with like one of an F non -fungible token.

[1168] You own the rights to that thing.

[1169] So even though some of them like board yacht club, board ape yacht club or something like that, I don't understand because it's just a photograph and you own it, I guess.

[1170] But I can take a screenshot of it and it'll be on my phone.

[1171] But I guess it's not as cool as you owning it on your phone.

[1172] Okay.

[1173] I don't totally get that.

[1174] But I get this.

[1175] I get the digital artwork and I get like that's an original beepole and, you know, he sends you these things and go with it.

[1176] And there's more to it.

[1177] And like his gallery that he's doing, he has like these big.

[1178] displays and big things and I'm sure you could buy those too it's like it's like you're buying a real thing like if you if you bought one of his art displays and it's like that but it's like seven feet tall and like you could put it in your living room and people come over go whoa yeah that's a real valuable cool thing a piece of art yeah dude you know who's a great artist is kevin nielan have you seen his really dude pull up kevin nilins he does caricatures of famous comedians really he's got a new book that just came out and he just sent it to me and it's like it's like as good as any caricature as I've seen wow yeah Kevin Neeland's a nice guy he's a super nice so nice oh it's friendly he's also one of those guys that like is like when you talk about Brewer like he is truly a funny human being look at that that's incredible isn't that awesome yeah that's amazing that's Freddie Mercury what else he got in there Kevin Neeland artwork so he has own Instagram just for his art. Wow, look at that Letterman.

[1179] Look at that fucking...

[1180] Wow, look at Kirkobane.

[1181] Jim Carole.

[1182] That's incredible.

[1183] That's incredible.

[1184] Yeah.

[1185] That's really good.

[1186] Oh, wow.

[1187] Look at that Gary Shandling.

[1188] Look at the capillaries in the nose.

[1189] Look at that detail.

[1190] That's amazing.

[1191] Yeah.

[1192] That's so good.

[1193] And it's like, it's such a good characterization.

[1194] Like, it's not a realistic painting of them.

[1195] No, they're like...

[1196] Oh, wow.

[1197] Look at the...

[1198] that Bordeanian.

[1199] Holy shit.

[1200] That's really good, dude.

[1201] He captures their souls.

[1202] It's not just like a funny painting.

[1203] But that's the thing about a caricature, right?

[1204] Like, they exaggerate certain aspects of you, but you know instantly who it is.

[1205] Yeah.

[1206] Wow.

[1207] That's incredible.

[1208] That's really dope.

[1209] Who's the guy that does the ones from your show?

[1210] Gary Bourdain.

[1211] Gary Brandt.

[1212] He does good stuff.

[1213] Yeah, he does amazing stuff.

[1214] Pull up his stuff.

[1215] He just did one of Tom O 'Neill.

[1216] Tom just sent it to me yesterday.

[1217] Oh, did he really?

[1218] Yeah, he does, he'll show the illustrations too as he's, yeah.

[1219] There he's got Davidel.

[1220] Oh, nice.

[1221] Goor Mante.

[1222] Look at that.

[1223] He's missing some teeth.

[1224] Yeah.

[1225] Yeah, he does all the guests.

[1226] Look at Eddie Bravo.

[1227] That's amazing.

[1228] That's dull.

[1229] Like cracked marble.

[1230] Yeah, not so crazy now.

[1231] That's, look at Mark Zuckerberg.

[1232] Louie, look at Louie C .K. Oh, that's good.

[1233] It's wild.

[1234] Yeah, it's a specific kind of comedy art, right, making a caricature of a person.

[1235] Yeah, yeah.

[1236] There's one that we have that makes me uncomfortable.

[1237] I don't know I'm not going to hang up anymore.

[1238] It was Dosbach.

[1239] He did one of Joey Diaz.

[1240] I'm like, that one's a little disrespectful.

[1241] Oh, yeah?

[1242] Yeah.

[1243] It's blue cheese with wings and go fuck your mother.

[1244] But it's, it's so, it's like, like, if I was Joey, I wouldn't want to look at that.

[1245] Yeah.

[1246] It's kind of rude.

[1247] It's.

[1248] That one.

[1249] You know?

[1250] That's great.

[1251] Well, it's like going on a roast.

[1252] I've been on a couple roasts in my life.

[1253] And if you ever want to find out who you really are, if you want to know what people really think of you, because we all kind of, it's not what's on the internet.

[1254] When you go on the internet, it's a bunch of trolls that are just saying mean shit.

[1255] But when you do a roast, it has to make people laugh, which means it has to be grounded in a collective perception of who you really are.

[1256] And when you hear people make jokes about you're going to roast, that's how you know who you really.

[1257] And what I get is like, he looks old.

[1258] Well, you know, that was the purpose.

[1259] That was the purpose of the Hayoka in the Lakota tribes.

[1260] Oh, you were telling me about that.

[1261] Yeah, that's wild.

[1262] The sacred clown.

[1263] They had someone who would mock everything.

[1264] Yeah.

[1265] Because if there was something that could be mocked, if it made people laugh, then you knew that it was true or that it was bullshit or that the thing was easily mocked.

[1266] It was a stupid thing.

[1267] And they used that to sort of test like whether or not their thoughts were being corrupted and whether or not they were like being delusional and looking at things incorrectly.

[1268] Like the court jester.

[1269] Yeah.

[1270] I think the court jester was supposed to keep the king honest.

[1271] Was he really?

[1272] I think that was part of his function, was to show that the king could be in on the joke.

[1273] How many of those guys got their dicks cut off and stuffed in their mouth?

[1274] Dude, you want to talk about the history of stand -up comedy.

[1275] That was the first comedian.

[1276] The court jester, and he had skin in the game.

[1277] Nowadays, anybody can show up to an open mic night.

[1278] You know, you work in marketing for FedEx during the day, but you come out at night, you put on a funny tie, and you get up and do five minutes.

[1279] If you bomb, whatever.

[1280] it hurts a little bit but if you're the core jester and you bomb they just kill with his head they'll just kill you for fun yeah like that's one of the things that we love about watching like game of thrones or any of those like i know their fantasy but they're supposed to be depicting a time in which there was no electronics and no civilization was crazy people just killed people they just decided i'm going to kill them and no one could do damn thing about it right they'll just beat you to death in front of everybody in the middle of like a dining hall and no one stops it and you realize like well this is what people did to each other back then yeah and if someone just decides that you've dishonored the queen with your jester ways they're just going to chop your dick off in front of everybody and stuff it in your mouth where you scream and bleed out on the stairs to the throne and they and they barely pay attention because they see it every day they're not even they're not even aghast by your death dude the whole dracula um the whole myth of Dracula.

[1281] The Dracula story, the Bram Stoker version of Dracula, came out of this legend of Vlad the Impaler.

[1282] Vlad Teppas, who was a guy who was a real guy who lived, who used to torture the enemy and impaled them on spikes in front of him while he ate dinner.

[1283] No shit.

[1284] Yeah.

[1285] Yeah.

[1286] Whoa.

[1287] Look at what he used to do.

[1288] So here's Vlad the impaler there's a depiction of him so uh he lived Vlad Dracula or Vlad Dracula um he lived in 1476 somewhere around there is that what it says let's see go to his uh that was his third rain he rained oh different times which uh wonder who how that worked who took over while he was not raining but this guy Vlad Teppes Vlad the impaler of Vlad Dracula, he was known for, he would cut pieces of, of a prisoner's flesh off and force them to eat it.

[1289] He did, like, horrific shit.

[1290] So it was 1420, what does it say, 23?

[1291] 1428 to 1431, somewhere around then, he was born, he died somewhere around 1476.

[1292] So he's like 45 to 49 years old when he died, they're not sure.

[1293] But during that time, he was fucking.

[1294] There's so many crazy ways through history that people have mutilated and killed people.

[1295] You ever heard of a Colombian necktie?

[1296] Yeah.

[1297] You know what that is?

[1298] Yeah, they slice your throat and pull your tongue through your neck.

[1299] It's rough.

[1300] That's fucking rough.

[1301] That's rough.

[1302] That's rough.

[1303] And then there's one called like the Glasgow smile or something where they take a knife and they cut your cheeks from the corners of your mouth up.

[1304] So for the rest of your life, he looked like you're smiling.

[1305] Oof.

[1306] Yeah.

[1307] There's some evil fucks out there.

[1308] If you find out what the Comanchees did, there's this book, Empire the Summer Moon.

[1309] Oh, yeah, I read that.

[1310] That guy lives in Austin, right?

[1311] Yeah, yeah.

[1312] I had him on the podcast.

[1313] He's great.

[1314] It's an amazing book.

[1315] And he found all that stuff out when he moved here.

[1316] He moved here, and then he started researching the history of the Native American tribes and the Plains tribes.

[1317] And then he writes this book about the Comanches.

[1318] It's like, it's a fucking crazy story.

[1319] Yeah.

[1320] But one of the things they did is those people would fight to the death.

[1321] They never, they never surrendered.

[1322] Because if they surrendered, they assumed they were going to be tortured.

[1323] Because they torture everybody.

[1324] And they would take people, and they would hack their arms and legs off.

[1325] And while they were alive, throw them on a fire to watch them squirm.

[1326] The last moments you have no arms.

[1327] They would just hold you down and just immediately hack off your arms, hack off your legs, then it's chuck you on the fire.

[1328] Yeah.

[1329] And then they just kept doing it to more people.

[1330] throwing them on the fire.

[1331] Damn.

[1332] And there was a lot of rape.

[1333] There was a lot of like, you're going to get raped and your family's going to watch.

[1334] And you're going to get murdered and your family's going to watch.

[1335] And everybody got murdered except for the younger kids that they would try to incorporate into the tribe.

[1336] And they would test them in various ways.

[1337] And if they failed the test, they would kill them.

[1338] And if they just kept their shit together, they could eventually become a part of the tribe.

[1339] And the curious thing is a lot of those people We got captured later and released.

[1340] So, like, the soldiers would, you know, overcome a band of Indians and find captured white settlers, and they didn't want to leave.

[1341] They wanted to stay with the Native Americans.

[1342] That's the Cynthia Ann Parker story.

[1343] She's the woman who was, yeah.

[1344] She gave birth to Quana Parker, who was the last Comanchee Chief.

[1345] Yeah.

[1346] And he was half white.

[1347] She was white.

[1348] She was a white settler who was kidnapped when she was nine.

[1349] She watched her mother get killed.

[1350] her father get killed.

[1351] Didn't they take her way to, like, Pennsylvania, and then she escaped and went back?

[1352] Yeah, she went back.

[1353] Yeah, she was despondent.

[1354] Like, when they brought her back to regular society, she was despondent.

[1355] She did not want to live like that at all.

[1356] She was in her 30s by then.

[1357] Yeah.

[1358] And she had just been living with the Comanche.

[1359] She was a part of their culture.

[1360] I mean, it just, you know, it's like a romanticizing it in a lot of our eyes because everybody, you know, like romanticizes the idea of being a Plains Indian.

[1361] Wow, it must have been incredible sleeping under the star.

[1362] but the people that they did capture and release back in a society, they didn't want that.

[1363] Like, nobody was going the other way.

[1364] There was no planes Indians that were like, look, fuck all this.

[1365] I want to join you guys.

[1366] I want to be a banker.

[1367] Like, that wasn't happening.

[1368] But people were leaving, and they were, like, living with the Indians, and they didn't want to go back.

[1369] And it wasn't a small number.

[1370] There was, like, some miners that struck deals with them and various people that had made their way across the plane.

[1371] decided to join.

[1372] And, you know, if you got a good band of Indians didn't want to kill you because you're a white settler, if you're in the right place at the right time and you joined in, like, for them, it was like a better way of life.

[1373] No, and, you know, trying to paint the Indians as good or bad, it's not, that's not how it is.

[1374] It's complicated.

[1375] It's a culture.

[1376] And it's kind of just where racism comes in, where everybody has to be seen as good or bad.

[1377] Well, they ward on each other hardcore in horrific, horrific ways.

[1378] They cannibalized each other.

[1379] You know, the Nez Perce were famous for cannibalizing the victims that they captured.

[1380] People did horrible things in all ethnicities, in all parts of the world, in all, like when the barbaric times of human history, people have done absolutely terrible things to each other, to people that look like them, to people that look nothing like them.

[1381] It's just like a part of being a human being or has been a part of being a human being.

[1382] I think less now because we're more recognizing the horrific nature of that we get to discuss it because everybody kind of gets to talk now because of the internet and because of education.

[1383] It's way harder to pull off like a Christopher Columbus type atrocity in 2022 and selling it to the public, like what they did.

[1384] Yeah.

[1385] You would get documentation, cell phone video footage, like, hey, why did you cut their arms off if they didn't give you gold?

[1386] Because that's what Christopher Columbus did.

[1387] But what those people did, like you read the priest's accounts of how they tortured the natives when they got here and what they did, like bashed babies' heads on rocks and told people if they don't bring them their weight in gold, they would cut their arms off, cut their arms off and show the other people that they're willing to do it and then send them out and get more gold.

[1388] That was just how people behaved, which is hard for us to think about.

[1389] Because of the world we currently live in.

[1390] But if the power went out and shit went sideways for just six months, just six months, do you know how crazy the world would be?

[1391] How crazy was the world during like the BLM riots during COVID where people were walking on the street, throwing rocks into people's windows and smashing doors open and doing whatever the fuck they wanted to do for no, there's no social justice to that?

[1392] They were just, they were wilding.

[1393] So, like, you've seen those videos where people just went, hey, why.

[1394] That's what happens.

[1395] That's what happens when you get mob mentalities together.

[1396] You're going to get certain people that don't give a fuck about a social cause or whatever.

[1397] They just want to go wild in, and they're going to jump in and come up with reasons why they can light buildings on fire and do.

[1398] If there's no power for six months, they run the streets.

[1399] They run the streets.

[1400] There's no way to call the cops because there's no power.

[1401] What are you going to do?

[1402] How many bullets you got?

[1403] what the fuck man like that's how thin the veneer of civilization is over the world for most of history they behave the way those clans the plains Indians did and the way Columbus did and the way the Mongols did and the way the Romans did like for most of history people were cunts just horrible murdering cunts yeah and you think about this country like kids that were born you know you know just after us that didn't experience a Vietnam War at all, like have not seen barbarism in this country, short of the people that have gone to the Middle East that saw some horrible shit.

[1404] For the most part, they've been guarded from that.

[1405] And I mean, obviously school shootings and, you know, the amount of homicides that take place is something, but that can't compare to the kind of barbarism that you're talking about.

[1406] Yeah, the school shootings, it's like, the reason why they're so horrific is because they're an aberration.

[1407] Yeah.

[1408] And the worst, most horrific aberration, someone who wants to kill purely innocent people, you know?

[1409] The thing that no one wants to talk about with those is how many of them are on psychiatric medications?

[1410] Because it's almost all of them.

[1411] Or they've gone off psychiatric medications.

[1412] Yeah.

[1413] And then the question is, like, is it correlation or causation?

[1414] Are they already broken?

[1415] Is the psychiatric medication what kept them from doing it earlier?

[1416] Yeah, I don't know.

[1417] But the horrific things that people have done throughout history are, it's so fair.

[1418] fascinating how recent that was because it really was only like a few lives ago like if you want to go to the the plains of Texas and the plains of north America in 1700 you are in a wild world wild world none of the towns are there nothing settled it's wild if you're living back then and then someone can put you in a time machine just 322 years later, you'd be like, holy fuck.

[1419] Because 300 years before that was the same shit.

[1420] 1 ,400 to 1 ,700, not a lot of change here.

[1421] And then you go 300 years later after that, and you're like, holy fuck.

[1422] This is crazy.

[1423] When you think about the difference in 10 years in this country is a time machine that went 10 years ahead, say 20.

[1424] We didn't have cell phones 20 years ago.

[1425] There wasn't, you know, you were faxing shit.

[1426] Just how about what automobiles are now?

[1427] You know, I was talking to Reggie Watts as a car guy, right?

[1428] And Reggie has a Porsche Turbo S, which is a preposterous car.

[1429] It's basically a spaceship.

[1430] It goes zero to 60 in about two seconds.

[1431] Wow.

[1432] Somewhere in the range of two seconds.

[1433] Goes one G laterally with all -wheel drive.

[1434] The handling is outreward.

[1435] the speed is telepathic it's like shoo we could just go wherever the fuck it wants to go I said to him imagine bringing that car in 1970 yeah and go drive that they would think you are an alien you must have come from another planet if they saw the LCD screen that lights up and all the gauge clusters are in LCDs or LEDs they'd be like holy shit yeah this is insane this is insane like how do you start it you press that button oh my god has it know that I have the key.

[1436] It's reading that you have the key in your pocket.

[1437] Just press the button.

[1438] And then you're in this thing.

[1439] And then a voice comes through and it's your wife telephoning you from somewhere else.

[1440] And they're like, what the fuck?

[1441] Hey, honey.

[1442] Where the fuck are you?

[1443] Like, you can talk to someone in your car.

[1444] Oh, not only that, you can say, navigate to Vulcan Gas Company.

[1445] And it goes, getting directions to Vulcan Gas Company.

[1446] That quickly.

[1447] That quickly.

[1448] Within a second.

[1449] And telling you Don't go that way because there's traffic rerouting.

[1450] Yeah.

[1451] Or how old is Mick Jagger?

[1452] It just tells you.

[1453] Like, I do that all the time now.

[1454] I just ask my phone.

[1455] How old is somebody?

[1456] Yeah.

[1457] How much does that cost?

[1458] How long has that been around?

[1459] It just tells you.

[1460] Yeah.

[1461] You just ask your phone now.

[1462] It's like we're literally in a science fiction movie.

[1463] Yeah.

[1464] Find out.

[1465] How old is Greg Fitzsimmons?

[1466] No. You have two contacts named Greg Fitzsitts Simmons.

[1467] Tap the phone number.

[1468] Hey, that's how I said.

[1469] How old is the stand -up comedian Greg Fitzsimmons?

[1470] Oh, Wikipedia.

[1471] Here we go.

[1472] 1966.

[1473] 66, baby.

[1474] How you feeling?

[1475] I'm feeling like I need some testosterone shots.

[1476] I just got a B -12 shot.

[1477] Feeling good.

[1478] We're going to get you hooked up.

[1479] Next time you're coming here, you're going to be jacked.

[1480] I've been working out like a maniac.

[1481] Have you been?

[1482] Last year, year and a half.

[1483] Beautiful.

[1484] I joined Gold's gym so I can be shamed.

[1485] In Venice?

[1486] Yeah.

[1487] Oh, that's the real one?

[1488] Yeah.

[1489] That's the mecca of bodybuilding.

[1490] It's been around since 1966.

[1491] Those guys can get your steroids.

[1492] They will.

[1493] Oh, yeah.

[1494] I'm the only guy in there.

[1495] Dude, I am the smallest guy by 50 pounds.

[1496] It's not even close.

[1497] And like even the women, like the women are, you know, bodybuilders, but they're fucking beautiful.

[1498] Like they're big ass bodybuilders, but there's something beautiful about them.

[1499] You know, the way they've sculpted their bodies to be a certain way.

[1500] and some of them get like fake tits and the fake tan and they're on steroids, but you go like, wow, that's a version of the human body I hadn't thought of.

[1501] Yeah.

[1502] The fake tits and the tan is not the best part about it, but I do like the fit bodies.

[1503] Yeah, yeah.

[1504] I do like the fit bodies.

[1505] Yeah.

[1506] It's just like, but if you want to be like one of those Instagram models, there's a market for that now.

[1507] You can make a lot of money.

[1508] Yeah, there's a lot of people doing selfie workouts at Gold's Gym.

[1509] Well, you know, if I'm not saying you should do that.

[1510] But what I am saying is why is it okay to be a regular model?

[1511] And it's not okay to do that.

[1512] Like people look down on Instagram models.

[1513] They look down on some girl who just like, this is her job, is to look hot and take pictures in her underwear washing a car.

[1514] What do you give a fuck?

[1515] This is my take on it.

[1516] The reason why it exists is because men like me stare at it, first of all.

[1517] And B, why is that less valid than someone who starves himself?

[1518] to look like a coat hanger and walks down a runway.

[1519] You know, who's asking that question right now is Adam Levine's wife.

[1520] Because she's a Victoria Seeker model and he's naming their kid after his Instagram model girlfriend.

[1521] Whoops.

[1522] Did you hear about that?

[1523] Yes.

[1524] That's a big whoops.

[1525] Dude, what the fuck?

[1526] Yeah, bro.

[1527] Yeah, not good.

[1528] Yeah, that's a...

[1529] I mean, when you see the neck tattoo, you go, all right, you're making some questionable decisions.

[1530] But in his world, that's not questionable.

[1531] Yeah, that's true.

[1532] Like, that's like, if you could get tattooed neck and shit, like, that's a real motherfucker.

[1533] That's a way of saying, I don't need a plan B. Yeah.

[1534] Plan A is working out fine.

[1535] Yeah, yeah, 100%.

[1536] Yeah.

[1537] Yeah, if you're, like, post Malone, you're getting your face tattooed up, like, he doesn't give a fuck.

[1538] Yeah.

[1539] He's like, he's free of any, he's got his whole head tattooed.

[1540] Have you ever thought about a neck tattoo?

[1541] Yeah, I'm getting one tomorrow.

[1542] Don't tread on me. Doesn't Aaron from, what's his name?

[1543] from stained Aaron Lewis doesn't he have don't tread on me tattooed on his neck you should get a Colombian necktie tattoo tattoo as a Brazilian jiu jitsu black belt I would never have don't tread on me tattooed on my neck because it would just be way too inviting for people to choke me that's all they would be going for now they're just trying to choke me fuck you fuck you with that stupid thing on your neck I'm going to strangle him if I saw a guy with a don't tread on me thing on his neck I might have to strangle him it would feel extra exciting to put the choke on him yeah he's got a beautiful voice that guy he turned to a country singer it's very interesting like he's like a pro -Trump god guns and country type dude he's that who is he stained the guy from the leads here of stained yeah I like stained yeah no he's talented as fuck man but he's like a very politically active he's a country boy but I think it's I think it's legit I think that's actually who he is I don't think he's like affecting a thing I think that's who he is like when you listen to his lyrics and his songs like it it resonates more the way he sings now I think he just had a great voice and he's sung for stained and he's like this is what I really want to do don't tread on me tattoo to my neck that's a guy that doesn't need a plan B yeah you know yeah because he used to be that's an aggressive thing to have on your neck yeah yeah that's like uh what do you think you would get if you got a neck tattoo like an owl on your neck i think i might get that uh whatever this the uh logo is for the guy who is the native american comedian what do you call that uh the heoka yeah i mean is there a logo is there a logo for heoka that would be a fucking badass tattoo yeah what is see if there's a Lakota symbol for hayoka Yeah, interesting.

[1544] The Lakota, you know, the Lakota are the Sioux.

[1545] It's the same Indians.

[1546] Right.

[1547] They called them, the Sioux was like a Native American word.

[1548] I think it was for enemy.

[1549] So other people called them the Sioux.

[1550] They called themselves the Lakota.

[1551] A crazy horse was a Lakota.

[1552] Yeah, I think so.

[1553] And I think Sitting Bull might have been also.

[1554] The fascinating thing about those cultures, is that what it looks like?

[1555] what is that um hayoka ideas oh that one looks cool the war shield a guy riding backwards that would be cultural appropriation no I think that's like that's the goof if you go back to that picture is like that as a hayoka like he's riding go to the image yeah he's riding backwards with a spear pointing in the wrong direction naked he's being a goof yeah like that's a guy joking around So that's the idea behind it.

[1556] So the Hayoka would, like, crack everybody up.

[1557] Oh, that one's good.

[1558] We've got the guy with the flowers on his head, striped.

[1559] Right there?

[1560] No, three to the left.

[1561] Yeah, that guy.

[1562] Oh, so it's like a jester.

[1563] Yeah.

[1564] So they've, like, combined things.

[1565] Heyoka as an archetype, harnessing the power of infinite mask wearing.

[1566] Okay.

[1567] I think we stumbled into a bizarre community.

[1568] Did you see the guy that got behind Kim Kardashian?

[1569] yesterday and smelled her ass you got tackled she was like coming out of her car and some fucking lunatic went up and smell their ass really jame you got to find that clip jesus christ you got to think if ever look everyone's got a fetish of some type you got if you look hard enough but to own it like that and to go i need to smell kim's ass this video i found it from 2016 but this is probably it oh yeah that is it yeah that is it yeah Oh, I thought it just happened.

[1570] Somebody just sent it to me. That's horrible.

[1571] What a dick.

[1572] Oh, my God.

[1573] What a dick.

[1574] I mean, what a life she lives.

[1575] You can't even get out of your car without somebody sniffing your ass.

[1576] Everyone's taking your picture.

[1577] God, this got to be horrible.

[1578] Oh, Jesus.

[1579] Imagine thinking that's funny to do, too.

[1580] I don't think he thought it was funny.

[1581] I think that, like, that was his thing.

[1582] He needed to sniff?

[1583] If he needs to get in there.

[1584] You don't think that you lost a bet?

[1585] No, I think that there's guys that like to be humiliated, and that's a pretty, and that's part of it.

[1586] Like, like, he's permanently shamed, but he's been thinking about sniffing her ass for years.

[1587] Yeah.

[1588] He stepped up.

[1589] He's really inhaling.

[1590] Yeah.

[1591] So, what do you think?

[1592] that is like as a law he looks like a guy would sniff an ass too look at him yeah I don't think he broke any laws no no it's not assault unless you touch someone right I think they beat him up though afterwards so they definitely they definitely dove on him he got he got jumped by her security I wonder what they're what's within their rights to do right you know I think that's in their rights he broke the plane right and then are they allowed to beat the shit out of him?

[1593] Are you supposed to just hold on to him?

[1594] What are you supposed to do?

[1595] Wait till he tried to hit you.

[1596] Dude, whatever happened?

[1597] I mean, what happened with Chappelle?

[1598] They beat the fuck out of that, dude.

[1599] Yeah, they beat the fuck out of that, dude.

[1600] Yeah.

[1601] I mean, is he allowed to sue for that?

[1602] Well, he's in jail for murder.

[1603] Oh, no shit.

[1604] Yeah.

[1605] Or attempted murder.

[1606] Tempted murder, right?

[1607] Yeah, this guy was a...

[1608] He stabbed his roommate, like, in December of the year.

[1609] This guy that did it to Kim Kardashian.

[1610] He got in trouble for doing somebody else to Oh, so he's just an assniffer.

[1611] Yeah.

[1612] Is it a prank thing that he does for...

[1613] I believe so.

[1614] Yeah.

[1615] There's a video five times he tried to do it.

[1616] That dude, that dude needs to get his ass kicked.

[1617] Yeah.

[1618] You do that to the wrong guy, you know?

[1619] Yep.

[1620] Do that to Francis and Gano's girlfriend.

[1621] Yeah.

[1622] You know, do it to the wrong guy.

[1623] Do it to the wrong guy.

[1624] All right.

[1625] You're going to get fucked up.

[1626] That's dangerous.

[1627] Some surfer, who's apparently like a famous surfer, just got killed in a bar fight where some guy punched him and he fell and hit his head and died and i talk about this all the time that people think it's safe to hit someone and just knock him out in a bar it's so dangerous on the street it's so dangerous to knock someone out and you're going to spend a lot of time in jail thinking about that one second you thought that would be a good idea yeah it's people think like they watch movies they think people get knocked out it's no big deal people die all the time when they hit their head.

[1628] It was this kid in my town who got, you know, just two guys.

[1629] They got in a fist fight.

[1630] He punched him once.

[1631] The kid fell down and he was fucked up for the rest of his life.

[1632] He was just off.

[1633] He's like the guy in your town now who's off.

[1634] Oh, no. Yeah.

[1635] Yeah, that's a real thing, man. Car accidents, guys who played football, sometimes their head just gets broken.

[1636] Yeah.

[1637] Fighters, it just gets broken.

[1638] Right.

[1639] Like, you're not coming back.

[1640] You're this guy now forever.

[1641] Yeah.

[1642] But, you know, Kevin James, when he was a bouncer at a bar in New York, and one of the guys that he worked with got in a fight with some patron knocked him out and died.

[1643] The guy died.

[1644] He punched the guy, guy was a drunk, fell, hit his head, and then he went to jail.

[1645] For how long?

[1646] I don't know.

[1647] It was years, though.

[1648] A lot of years.

[1649] Yeah.

[1650] I think it was like seven years or something like that.

[1651] Right.

[1652] I don't know if it was manslaughter or second -degree murder.

[1653] what they convict you on but fuck man I was watching a video of these guys that robbed some kid 21 year old kid in New York just walked up to him and just blasted him in the face and knocked him unconscious and the kid falls onto the curb and hits his head and he was dead in five days and you know they're trying to find the kids who did it I don't know if they found him but it's like imagine they got $20 from him they stole 20 bucks just knocking some out not understanding like you might as well just be shooting them because you could very easily kill someone this way.

[1654] Very easily.

[1655] You're falling so far.

[1656] When you get knocked out and you're standing up, you're falling so far and you're hitting your head.

[1657] Like if you just fall two feet dead weight and hit your head, you could get fucked up.

[1658] Think of something hitting you as hard as the earth.

[1659] Hitting your head from two feet away.

[1660] Oh my God, it would be devastating.

[1661] Now imagine it happening from five, six feet.

[1662] And you're getting chaos, so there's momentum.

[1663] You're falling backwards.

[1664] It's not just as simple as just gravity.

[1665] There's actual momentum, too.

[1666] So maybe it's double the power.

[1667] There's also a lot of people talking about, like, neck punches now, throat punches instead of punching someone in the face and they think, well, yeah.

[1668] Who are you talking to?

[1669] A lot of people are talking about neck punches?

[1670] I saw it on the internet.

[1671] I saw this compilation of people getting throat punches and, you know, just like street fights where people are intentionally doing it.

[1672] That's just as dangerous because you could break the windpipe.

[1673] Hmm.

[1674] I think you're probably okay.

[1675] Yeah.

[1676] I don't think that's as dangerous.

[1677] You can get knocked out by getting hit in the neck, for sure.

[1678] You definitely can get your neck hurt.

[1679] But I wonder if you get knocked out as easily.

[1680] The chin is where it's really dangerous.

[1681] Because you get hit in the chin, a lot of times people just shut off.

[1682] Yeah.

[1683] Or you get hit in the temple.

[1684] A lot of times people get shut off.

[1685] And when you get shut off and you fall back, that's the most dangerous.

[1686] You definitely, I mean, it's not good to get punched in the neck, but it's not like a smart strategy or boxer would just be punching each other in the neck.

[1687] You know, they kind of a little bit do that, but it's just really like accidentally.

[1688] They're trying to hit the chin.

[1689] Kicks, though, some of the best head kick knockouts, guys will end a kick on the neck, and they're like right here, like right here and almost behind your head, yeah.

[1690] Because if you think of someone throwing their shin up at you and where your shin is going to, contact with the side of your neck that shuts people right off yeah that's how uh kamaro usman got knocked out by leon edwards same kind of i think that one actually might hit his head but it was like the head like right where the neck meets the head like getting hit in the head is fucking horrible yeah yeah so back to that brett farb thing guarantee that that's up to do with it guarantee yeah yeah yeah In fact, O .J. Simpson's people said that if he was to go to trial today, they would definitely bring up CTE in his defense.

[1691] But then you'd have to admit he killed him, right?

[1692] Because there's no reason why he was rage if he didn't really stab somebody.

[1693] Right.

[1694] Like, what do you say on?

[1695] I heard there was cocaine involved also.

[1696] Oh, really?

[1697] I heard that there was evidence that was not allowed about a cocaine dealer who had sold him a pretty good quantity of cocaine just before the killing.

[1698] Allegedly, I should have to say, allegedly.

[1699] Why would they suppress that?

[1700] Dude, I went to play golf.

[1701] You remember Jackie Flynn?

[1702] Yeah.

[1703] Great comic out of Boston.

[1704] And we go up to this golf course, Hanson Dam, and it's the two of us.

[1705] And we show up, and we show up as a two -sum, they pair you up with two other people to play.

[1706] So we sign in, and the starter goes, okay, you two are going to play with these two guys over here.

[1707] And we look over, and it's fucking O .J. Simpson.

[1708] Oh, my God.

[1709] And another dude.

[1710] What year was this?

[1711] It was after the murders, but before he went to jail.

[1712] So we were, I just look at the skies like this is...

[1713] After the murders before he went to jail?

[1714] So before the trial?

[1715] No, after the trial, but before he went to jail for stealing his own merchandise.

[1716] Oh, right, right.

[1717] Okay, okay.

[1718] So, but he wasn't allowed at country clubs anymore.

[1719] You know, he used to play at Bel Air and, you know, Riviera, all the best country clubs.

[1720] And now he's playing the same shitty public corps as I am.

[1721] And so I just look at the skies like, this is the greatest thing.

[1722] ever happened to me. This is going to be my Tonight Show story someday, you know?

[1723] And Jackie looks at him and he goes, I ain't playing with that fucking murderer.

[1724] Fuck that.

[1725] He's a murderer.

[1726] And O .J. just turned and walked away.

[1727] And I just looked at Jackie like, how could you do this to me, man?

[1728] How could you steal?

[1729] The moment they were on like the 11th hole and I'm standing over a put and I just look at him and I go, OJ, if I sink this, you got to tell me if you did it.

[1730] We had a video of that.

[1731] Yeah.

[1732] Jackie fucked you.

[1733] Yeah.

[1734] I'll never forgive him.

[1735] Were you hesitant at all to play with him?

[1736] No. No, I was very excited.

[1737] I'd seen him at the driving range there before.

[1738] Would you play with him?

[1739] I don't play golf.

[1740] I play pool with him.

[1741] I would.

[1742] I would just to try to like...

[1743] Like, I met people that killed people before.

[1744] You have?

[1745] Yeah, sure.

[1746] But not like that.

[1747] You know?

[1748] I met people like...

[1749] kill people in war.

[1750] That's a different animal.

[1751] That's different than chopping someone's heads off with a knife.

[1752] Dakota Meyer has one of the craziest stories about killing a guy with a rock overseas.

[1753] Really?

[1754] Yeah, the guy, he lost his gun, is in hand -to -hand combat situation with a guy.

[1755] The guy's grabbing at his gear off of his vest.

[1756] He gets the guy to the ground and kills him with a rock.

[1757] Yeah.

[1758] He talked about it.

[1759] He's like, in that moment, And he's like, me and this guy, we don't even know each other.

[1760] I don't know this guy.

[1761] I didn't have hate for this guy.

[1762] But I just had to do it.

[1763] And he had to try to kill me too.

[1764] And how insane that situation is.

[1765] Like you, you know, you're from here.

[1766] And then all of a sudden you're there.

[1767] And you're in this guy's town or whatever.

[1768] And you're a part of a military, some sort of an action that they're doing that day.

[1769] And you find yourself in a hand -to -hand combat with some guy.

[1770] You don't know his language.

[1771] You don't know his history.

[1772] You don't know anything about him.

[1773] You just know it's you or him.

[1774] And you kill him of the rock.

[1775] Yeah.

[1776] That's a lot different than getting coked up and stabbing a waiter and cutting your wife's head off.

[1777] Yeah.

[1778] And then doing music videos afterwards.

[1779] Yeah.

[1780] And running fantasy football leagues and making jokes.

[1781] You ever see the video that he did?

[1782] Which one?

[1783] The rap video where he had a bunch of chicks around them.

[1784] They're all topless.

[1785] No. Was this in his Miami days?

[1786] or is he still in his Miami days?

[1787] I don't know where he is.

[1788] Yeah.

[1789] Where does he?

[1790] I knew he moved to Florida.

[1791] I know he was in Miami for a while and he was definitely doing, not definitely, allegedly doing a lot of cocaine.

[1792] Allegedly?

[1793] Yeah.

[1794] Imagine doing coke with OJ.

[1795] Oh, that's a good night.

[1796] Do you imagine?

[1797] Yeah.

[1798] How wild it would get if he got a little loose lips?

[1799] You think he even believes he killed them at this point in time?

[1800] He might not even believe he did it.

[1801] He might like have been so, like, he might have told that lie.

[1802] so many times that that's his truth.

[1803] Yeah.

[1804] You know?

[1805] It might be like, you might never get to the real man. You might just like, he might be like a politician.

[1806] Like everywhere he goes, like he's just from birth, from waking up in the morning to go into bed at night.

[1807] It's just, he's putting on an act.

[1808] He never gets to the real O .J. But a couple of fucking Hennessees.

[1809] Uh -huh.

[1810] A few lines.

[1811] Lines.

[1812] VAT blunt.

[1813] Woo!

[1814] Sitting in the back of the limo with a couple topless girls.

[1815] O .J., tell me. You want to see the, video of him like rapping hell yeah find the video of OJ rapping this is like after he's acquitted he was doing a bunch of different things and they did something some sort of rap music video it was part of a TV show thing he called juiced which was it's labeled as a TV special but I think it was one of those like too hot for TV DVDs they were trying to sell oh the girl's gone wild oh yeah that's why there's naked chicks in it do you remember the Jamie Kennedy experiment of course Jamie Kennedy is like the most underrated prank show guy in history because people don't talk about him like when they talk about the greats he kind of happened in between Tom Green and Jackass was Jamie Kennedy well he had this thing called guys gone nuts and it was like the response to girls gone wild so this is like the whole series of is this but at one point in time they're doing a music video I know we pulled it up before.

[1816] Yeah, but the thing is, I remember now that when I found it was not on YouTube.

[1817] Oh, so here it is right here.

[1818] But I found it on YouTube.

[1819] Oh, there it is.

[1820] So you can still have titties on YouTube?

[1821] No, this is just slipping through.

[1822] Slip?

[1823] Oh, man, we're going to ruin it.

[1824] I'm not playing it for anyone.

[1825] But we're going to ruin it.

[1826] They're going to find it.

[1827] The YouTube people are going to find it.

[1828] So these gals danced around with the boobies out and there's a rap song somewhere in there.

[1829] Yeah, that was not it.

[1830] There it is.

[1831] That's it.

[1832] He showed the Bronco.

[1833] Yeah.

[1834] What a bullhole is.

[1835] That's part of one of the skits.

[1836] Probably earlier on.

[1837] And him chasing somebody with a golf club.

[1838] I don't think that was him.

[1839] I think that was someone else chasing somebody.

[1840] Wasn't it?

[1841] Come on, O .J. Just signed the ball and I go.

[1842] Gotcha.

[1843] You've just been juiced.

[1844] He was pretending he was going to kill them.

[1845] Oh, wow.

[1846] And they're running away from him.

[1847] It was a prank.

[1848] I thought you were talking about the other thing where people were.

[1849] Wow.

[1850] Maybe he just did something.

[1851] Which, like, he accused him which had in his ball and then got mad.

[1852] Oh, my God.

[1853] I don't know.

[1854] It's fine.

[1855] Oh, my God.

[1856] So it was a prank show.

[1857] Yeah.

[1858] From a guy that you knew was a murderer.

[1859] Uh -huh.

[1860] Along with a rap video with topless ladies.

[1861] What if he didn't do it?

[1862] Imagine if Bigfoot's real.

[1863] Imagine of all those people are telling the truth.

[1864] Yeah.

[1865] What if you're OJ?

[1866] You're this guy that was in...

[1867] He could gun and you were in Hertz commercials running through the airport and you were a superstar athlete and you were a great dude to everybody that ever talked to him.

[1868] Right.

[1869] Great dude.

[1870] This was an aberration.

[1871] This killing made no sense.

[1872] And what if it didn't happen?

[1873] What if there really was somebody else and this is all hanging on him?

[1874] That would be crazy.

[1875] It was like a movie.

[1876] Yeah.

[1877] Yeah.

[1878] It's like a Knives out movie.

[1879] Right.

[1880] Like they've just like set him up the entire time.

[1881] Like a really bad book Oh, who would stand to gain from that?

[1882] Yeah, some bad evil detective Yeah, well, what was his name?

[1883] Mark Furman Yeah, Mark Furman.

[1884] Imagine.

[1885] He was a racist.

[1886] That was OJ's defense.

[1887] Yeah, imagine Mark Furman's just sitting there Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

[1888] I tricked them all.

[1889] No, I think he probably did it.

[1890] You wrote a book called If I did it.

[1891] Somebody gave me a copy of that and I'm pretty sure my wife threw it out.

[1892] I was trying to find it the other day.

[1893] She's sneaky like that.

[1894] Yeah.

[1895] She don't fucking want this.

[1896] Yeah.

[1897] No, yeah, he described in it, what if, and he described the murder from his point of view.

[1898] He signed it.

[1899] I had a signed copy of the book.

[1900] Really?

[1901] Yeah.

[1902] Probably not a good thing to have around.

[1903] Probably not.

[1904] Yeah.

[1905] Maybe it was good she threw it out.

[1906] Yeah.

[1907] I mean, I never even read it.

[1908] I just point to people.

[1909] I don't see that.

[1910] Look at that.

[1911] I forget who gave it to me. It might have been Sakura.

[1912] Someone like that.

[1913] What are you reading right now?

[1914] In the middle of I haven't been reading reading I've been just doing audiobooks But I'm in the middle of You know that movie The Grey Man That was with Ryan Reynolds And no Ryan Gosling I always confuse those handsome fellas Ryan Gosling And who else was in it Chris Evans Captain America Uh huh Hands a movie The movie The movie that they did for Netflix Like one of the most expensive action movies ever Fun movie, but very different than the book.

[1915] The book is dark.

[1916] The book is about like a real CIA hitman.

[1917] Oh, yeah?

[1918] That they found when he was like 19 years old, he had committed, he murdered some drug dealers or something like that.

[1919] And they incorporated him into the CIA program where they trained him to kill people.

[1920] No shit.

[1921] True story?

[1922] No, I don't think it's true story, but I think there's some basis in history.

[1923] that they have done things like that.

[1924] Oh, absolutely.

[1925] No, that's the CIA's MO.

[1926] Yeah.

[1927] Well, they most certainly have hired killers.

[1928] Yeah.

[1929] And, you know, contractors and stuff like that.

[1930] I know people have done that.

[1931] But this book is about this one guy who's the elite of the elite, the gray man. It's pretty intense.

[1932] That's cool.

[1933] This is a series of them.

[1934] They get a little, you know, it's like it's hard to keep a good idea going.

[1935] After a while, like, how come this guy's not dead?

[1936] Yeah.

[1937] Like, this is a little crazy.

[1938] Kills everybody, barely gets shot.

[1939] Yeah, yeah.

[1940] I know that was crazy.

[1941] I just watched the, um, Jeff Bridges did one called the old man, the series.

[1942] Oh, yeah, I watched that.

[1943] Yeah.

[1944] I watched it up until a point.

[1945] I'm like, come on.

[1946] That's what I was just going to say.

[1947] I bailed out in episode seven out of eight.

[1948] I was just like, no, no. And the first episode was fucking great.

[1949] Yeah, the first few episodes.

[1950] Some series have a perfect, perfect, perfect first episode, yeah.

[1951] The first few episodes were great, but it got.

[1952] got to a point where, like, they would have found him.

[1953] How are you just driving there?

[1954] Yeah.

[1955] You can't, you can't just drive places anymore.

[1956] It was implausible.

[1957] Not only that, you have a car that has GPS on it.

[1958] Like, this is nonsense.

[1959] And why is the woman that he kidnapped being left alone in his apartment and she's not calling the police?

[1960] Because he fucks her good.

[1961] Because he's 80.

[1962] He's 80 years old.

[1963] He does his fucking anything.

[1964] No, you're wrong.

[1965] You're wrong.

[1966] He gives it to him.

[1967] He's getting beat 12 shots.

[1968] Yeah, he's ready to go.

[1969] He's got those killer dogs.

[1970] It would have been a really good.

[1971] movie that would have ended like no country for old men where it had like a weird ending yeah that would have been a good movie but as a series it just like too much talking and explaining things not enough showing me things means that you like you didn't know how to resolve things and like you get you got a little televisionish for a while it was bad writing but it wasn't in the beginning no it's good at the beginning it's like they had a great concept and like you bought into it even the way he survived and the way he was managed to thrive you you bought into it up until he kidnaps her and takes her across the country and you're like get the fuck right and you're gonna find you bro you can't just do that yeah there's only so many roads like where are you going yeah also so many roads you get these two actors together and you don't put them in the same scene what's the guy from third rock what's that actor's name john lithgow john you get john lithgow and jeff bridges together and they're never on screen together right no right well it i think it could have been And like I said, it could have been a great movie.

[1972] And just, after a while, it just seemed to get a little slippery.

[1973] I don't mind Liam Neeson doing action either.

[1974] I mean, he's getting up there, and I still buy it.

[1975] He's fucking good.

[1976] He's good.

[1977] What is the main one that he did?

[1978] Taken?

[1979] Taken, yeah.

[1980] When he calls a guy up.

[1981] People have used that for so many reels.

[1982] I have a particular set of skills.

[1983] Yeah.

[1984] Yeah, I bought that.

[1985] I love Daniel Craig as James Bond.

[1986] I like a good fucking assassin.

[1987] movie.

[1988] Yeah.

[1989] A good badass movie.

[1990] An aging, aging action star.

[1991] I actually like that.

[1992] Did you see the video of the 92 -year -old man fucking this young guy up on the street?

[1993] No. Go to Lennox Lewis's Instagram page.

[1994] There's a video of these guys pick a fight with I think he's 92.

[1995] He's 92 years old.

[1996] And he fucks these guys up.

[1997] He takes his shirt off and starts boxing these guys in the street.

[1998] What country?

[1999] I don't know.

[2000] I don't know where it was.

[2001] um see if you can find it just pull up lenox lewis's page i'll show you which one it is that's it right there so this does it say says 92 year old retired professional boxer so these people start getting into an argument and start pushing each other around it eventually turns back around normal and so it's in front of a McDonald's so they're pushing this guy around and so this guy steps in the guy with the black shirt he's the one who's going to get fucked up this young guy so he hits him oh the old dude just flatlined him no it gets better it gets better look at him this guy's 92 years old he flatlines that guy and look at him he's dancing around i mean there's a old dude and a young guy that he just cracked look at them standing in front of each other the guy tries to take him out boom drops him again and now the old dude's getting wild now he's getting wild look he takes his shirt off the fuck out of here let's go bitch takes his shirt off now this kid's squaring up with him he's fuck bam whoa look at this 92 he's pushing everybody the fuck away from him get up bitch you want some more look at this and this guy still look at how he's standing squared off has no idea out of box and the other two guys stayed down stay down they were down look at this old dude man 92 years old he looks like rushing or something.

[2002] They age better.

[2003] And he probably thought, you know what, I'm 92.

[2004] If I die, fuck it.

[2005] I'm going to have some fun.

[2006] Let's die like this.

[2007] Yeah.

[2008] But when you see that guy standing with his legs like squared off in front of him or his hands up, he has zero idea how to fight.

[2009] Yeah.

[2010] It was the perfect moment for that guy to do that.

[2011] I thought he started hitting the women because they were kind of after he knocked out the three guys, women started coming at him.

[2012] Yeah.

[2013] That's a sticky situation to be in.

[2014] What do you do?

[2015] You don't want to let a woman punch you.

[2016] Nope.

[2017] Women can knock you out.

[2018] Yeah.

[2019] There's women out there that can fucking knock you out.

[2020] Hell yeah.

[2021] Especially if you don't see it coming, like they sucker punch you from the side.

[2022] Mm -hmm.

[2023] Fucking dangerous.

[2024] Yeah.

[2025] Yeah, you can't let them hit you.

[2026] But if you hit them.

[2027] It's all on video.

[2028] Oh, my God.

[2029] And if you knock a woman out, she falls and hits her head.

[2030] Oh, Jesus Christ.

[2031] Oh, Jesus Christ.

[2032] And she dies?

[2033] Oh, fuck.

[2034] It doesn't matter who jumped you.

[2035] You punch a woman in the head and knock her out.

[2036] I punched a woman one time.

[2037] Oh, my God.

[2038] What happened?

[2039] It was Halloween, and I was, like, 13, and we were running around our neighborhood.

[2040] You know, we all had, everybody dressed, you call it bums.

[2041] We used to say bums.

[2042] Right.

[2043] But isn't that funny, we used to dress as homeless people?

[2044] Yeah, that was like a costume.

[2045] That was a costume for Halloween.

[2046] Yeah.

[2047] You would never see that today.

[2048] It's true.

[2049] You know, we used to wear a little.

[2050] like ratty -ass clothes and we put dirt on our face and there was a girl and she had uh i thought it was a guy and uh she had on a mask and uh sprayed me in the eyes with she we used to take shaving cream and we would put an aerosol top on a shaving cream can and it would spray the shaving cream like 20 feet it was awesome and we'd bring eggs and you know we'd go crazy and so uh so she sprayed in my eyes so i can't see that well and I chase what I thought was him knocked him down I'm sitting on top of him and I punch him in the face and then everybody's screaming and they pull me up like dude it's a girl and I was like fuck so I just fucking run away I run away and it turns out it was a girl from the next town over from where I grew up she was one town over and then that winter we were at the Tarry Town Lakes which is they would freeze over in the winter and they had these big telephone poles and they had floodlights and they had speakers and they would play AM radio and they had a big heated shack.

[2051] You'd change your skates and during the day you play hockey and then at night we'd all show up and they would light it and they'd stay until like 11 o 'clock at night and that was like our social life in the winter and we'd skate and you know you'd hide some beers in the snowbank and you'd get fucked up and you'd try to make out with the girl and so it was great.

[2052] So I go there and I'm like 13 And then they go, oh, yeah, that's so -and -so, she's got a crush on you.

[2053] I was like, oh, where's she from?

[2054] She's just from the next town over.

[2055] Yeah, you punched her in the face on Halloween.

[2056] And I was like, dude, how, that says a lot about her family life, you know.

[2057] Well, maybe she felt bad that she sprayed you in the face, and then she thought when you were punching her, you're kind of cute.

[2058] He's got pretty eyes and a good right hook.

[2059] Did you apologize to her?

[2060] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2061] No, I felt terrible about it.

[2062] Did you apologize her right afterwards, or did you wait until you met her at the lake?

[2063] I didn't know her.

[2064] The next time I saw her was at the lake.

[2065] Oh, so that was the next time you saw her.

[2066] Oh, my God.

[2067] And then somebody told me that she had a crush on me. So I'm talking to her, and then all of a sudden, my friend, quote -unquote friend, skated as hard as he could while I was talking to her, and he lined me up.

[2068] Just because that's what we did to each other.

[2069] And I got knocked down, and I couldn't get up.

[2070] I was winded like I was down.

[2071] And then I find out next week.

[2072] And I was kind of into her.

[2073] She was pretty.

[2074] And I found out the next week she had a crush on the guy that knocked you out.

[2075] Oh, God.

[2076] Of course she did.

[2077] She likes abuse.

[2078] Yeah.

[2079] She's all for the chaos.

[2080] She probably would have been a wild one.

[2081] Yeah.

[2082] He looks like shit.

[2083] He looks like a 92 -year -old man. He moves like shit.

[2084] God damn it.

[2085] That guy's younger than me. If I move like that, I'd be fucking embarrassed.

[2086] He does.

[2087] He stands straight up.

[2088] His back looks like a dead man. Yeah, it looks like a dead man. People said he is a, this was Ashford in the UK, and he was like an older gypsy man that people recognized.

[2089] Oh.

[2090] Gypsies, man. They're wild folks.

[2091] Love the gypsies.

[2092] The fucking gypsy guy.

[2093] Dude, do you watch Piki Blinders?

[2094] No, I heard it's great, though.

[2095] It's all about the gypsies.

[2096] Is it really great?

[2097] Yeah, it is up there with, you know...

[2098] Game of Thrones?

[2099] Game of Thrones.

[2100] Really?

[2101] Sopranos, like, in terms of one -hour dramas.

[2102] It's not quite as good, but it is fucking cool.

[2103] The guy who's the lead is just one of the most badass protagonists in any drama you've ever seen in your life.

[2104] Okay, I've got to get on there.

[2105] But it taps into that world of like they live in, I think it's Birmingham.

[2106] which I guess has a lot of Irish that have moved in and a lot of, like, gypsy influence.

[2107] So that's their dark side.

[2108] They go there, they kind of dip into the gypsy world a little bit.

[2109] It's cool.

[2110] We've got a gypsy heavyweight champion in the world.

[2111] No shit.

[2112] Yeah, the boxer.

[2113] Really?

[2114] Tyson Fury.

[2115] He's the gypsy king.

[2116] Oh, that's right.

[2117] That's right.

[2118] I knew that.

[2119] Yeah.

[2120] I mean, he's one of the greatest heavyweights of all time.

[2121] Really?

[2122] He's a gypsy.

[2123] Yeah, unquestionably.

[2124] Unquestionably, one of the greatest heavyweight boxers of all time.

[2125] Damn.

[2126] And he's the gypsy king.

[2127] And he talks to the best shit.

[2128] He talks the most shit.

[2129] He's hilarious.

[2130] It's really funny, man. It's hard to be a gypsy now because they won't let you just live wherever you want.

[2131] They don't?

[2132] They used to just, they were nomads.

[2133] They would just wander.

[2134] They would sharpen knives.

[2135] They'd go to places and sharpen knives.

[2136] But they do just bring their caravans places and park them.

[2137] Yeah.

[2138] Like, that does still happen.

[2139] But I think they're having a harder time finding places.

[2140] Oh, really?

[2141] Yeah.

[2142] I didn't know that.

[2143] Yeah.

[2144] Because I knew that I had a friend who lived in the UK, and one of her friends from the UK was telling her that this band of gypsy just moved into, like, an abandoned lot on their street.

[2145] They just pulled in and just, we live here now.

[2146] And then they couldn't get them out.

[2147] They couldn't get them to move out.

[2148] These people lived in, like, this well -to -do neighborhood.

[2149] Where is this?

[2150] Somewhere in the UK.

[2151] Wow.

[2152] I don't know.

[2153] I don't remember the story, but I remember thinking, like, oh, like, how does that work?

[2154] Yeah.

[2155] What do they do?

[2156] It's like, you can't get rid of them.

[2157] They're allowed to do that in certain places Shit Yeah What was the movie where Wasn't Brad Pitt?

[2158] Snatch Snatch That was great Fucking movie That was a really good movie That was one of Guy Ritchie's Fucking classics Yeah That's a great movie Yeah Fucking Brad Pitt man He's the real deal Oh my God He's been in everything Yeah He's done some very That poor guy That poor guy That Angelina Jolie thing Yeah Imagine that trial.

[2159] Because you think that the fucking Amber Heard trial was wild?

[2160] Yeah.

[2161] Imagine that trial.

[2162] Woo!

[2163] I mean, what the fuck, man?

[2164] Who had better sex with her?

[2165] Him or Billy Bob Thorne?

[2166] Because Brad physically had it over him, but Billy Bob was wearing the blood around his neck.

[2167] They were doing some dark shit.

[2168] They cut each other's skin and drip blood into vials.

[2169] Kept it on their necks.

[2170] Yeah.

[2171] Tattooed shit about each other on their bodies.

[2172] Yeah.

[2173] I think all of us fall short of that relationship in terms of passion.

[2174] Good.

[2175] That's just unsustainable.

[2176] It's like when you see people sprinting, look, he's smiling and she's kissing up.

[2177] I bet he was having a good fucking time, I'll tell you that.

[2178] Yeah, he had a great time.

[2179] For as long as it lasted.

[2180] She's one of the sexiest women ever.

[2181] It's pretty hot.

[2182] Yeah, my friend Tony always says that psychotic and erotic, they're very closely related.

[2183] Yeah.

[2184] You got to always take that in consideration.

[2185] Some of the most psycho chicks are the most erotic, and it's, like, not necessarily good.

[2186] Amy Winehouse, she must have been wild.

[2187] She's probably so drunk all the time.

[2188] Yeah.

[2189] Probably not.

[2190] Yeah, the heroin doesn't help.

[2191] Drunk heroin life does not lead itself to a lot of wild sexual exploits and chaos.

[2192] It seems like there's a lot of napping and throwing up in the sink.

[2193] Yeah, Sid and Nancy didn't fuck.

[2194] If they did, it wasn't good.

[2195] Yeah.

[2196] Maybe it was.

[2197] They probably smelled.

[2198] Sid, take a shower.

[2199] Fuck you.

[2200] Yeah.

[2201] Those kind of relationships, though, like they don't have like a long shelf life.

[2202] It's like you're sprinting.

[2203] You're tattooing your names on each other immediately and dripping blood.

[2204] And where are you going to go from there?

[2205] Yeah.

[2206] Where's that going to go?

[2207] It doesn't matter.

[2208] Eventually, it's going to peter out.

[2209] You don't even cut yourself from me anymore.

[2210] I'm like, oh, come on.

[2211] I thought we're done.

[2212] Yeah.

[2213] I thought I did it already.

[2214] I took your fucking name's on my arm.

[2215] Come on, leave me alone.

[2216] You don't care anymore.

[2217] You're just DMing a hose on Instagram.

[2218] Come on.

[2219] You haven't sacrificed an animal for me in weeks.

[2220] Ugh.

[2221] I mean, that kind of a relationship.

[2222] Like, if you get involved in that kind of crazy level of relationship, where you're cutting each other and carrying each other's blood around.

[2223] Like, where does that go?

[2224] Yeah.

[2225] You got to look at that in terms of a long -term project.

[2226] You start out sprinting like that.

[2227] Like, how is that sustainable?

[2228] I always feel like that about ass sex, you know, like, save it, save it.

[2229] You know, you're not going to, you know, like, I think you should maybe wait to your 65.

[2230] And then finally, you got her doggy style, and you finally, and you go to put it in, And she just goes, finally!

[2231] Oh, no. You're like, I wasted all these years of butt fucking.

[2232] That's the thing that people either like or they don't like, right?

[2233] Some people like it.

[2234] Some people don't like it at all.

[2235] Yeah.

[2236] That's not supposed to be good for you.

[2237] Like Dr. Drew was talking about all the dangers involved in that.

[2238] I was like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

[2239] Prolapsed anus.

[2240] Oh, my God.

[2241] Tom Segura.

[2242] has sent me and showed me some of the most horrific things that they show on your mom's house live when they do those shows.

[2243] Yeah.

[2244] And one of them was these two guys that had prolapsed anuses, they're fisting, and they're pulling their anuses out, their prolapsed anuses out, and they were rubbing them together.

[2245] So, like, this pink sock from one guy's butt, and one guy, like, apparently, like, he was internally bleeding because they're doing such rigorous, awful stuff to their assholes.

[2246] Yeah.

[2247] that everything was like a bright, dark red, and the doctor was like, the guy probably died that night.

[2248] Yeah.

[2249] You're not going to live from that one.

[2250] Yeah.

[2251] Like, oh, oh, the damage you're doing.

[2252] You're basically like, rupturing organs.

[2253] How do you wipe your ass after you take a dump?

[2254] How do you heal from that where you can shit again?

[2255] Yeah.

[2256] Like, you're tearing your asshole apart, and then poop has to come through there on the way out.

[2257] And when it's all broken up inside, and the poop is like rubbing up against that, they're like, how do you get infected?

[2258] did, like, what happens there?

[2259] I got a friend who's gay, he's never had anything in his ass.

[2260] Congratulations to him.

[2261] He's a non -anal gay guy.

[2262] Good for him.

[2263] Yeah.

[2264] I met these two guys at a show once in Connecticut, and I had a joke about two guys having anal sex, and they wanted to come up to me after the show.

[2265] And they go, we thought you're really funny, but we want you know that a lot of gay people don't have anal sex.

[2266] I go, okay.

[2267] I go, but some of them do, right?

[2268] It's still a thing?

[2269] He's like, yeah, they do.

[2270] You just want me to know that you're not one of those people?

[2271] Like, I go duly noted.

[2272] I'm like, I don't know where we're going with this.

[2273] He just wanted me to know that there's a whole community of gay folks that don't have butt sex.

[2274] I'm like, okay.

[2275] But it's not like I'm making this up, right?

[2276] Like, people do fuck each other in the butt.

[2277] Yeah, I've seen the videos.

[2278] It's real.

[2279] So what are we doing here?

[2280] Yeah.

[2281] You're just telling me?

[2282] There's girls that don't either.

[2283] But I know a lot to do.

[2284] Yeah, that's the crazy thing I've heard girls yell it out in comedy clubs Like a comic on stage Was on stage and he was talking about It's like some girls love anal Me Oh yeah Like whoa Yeah You're throwing up the bat signal Yeah I mean a girl yelling that out Like how much attention does she need Right Woof Damn What kind of choices is she made Other than that bad one Louis used to have a funny bit about anal sex He's like, I never got it.

[2285] He goes, you're an inch away from the greatest thing in the world.

[2286] I just did a couple shows with him in Canada.

[2287] We went up to Vancouver.

[2288] Oh, yeah?

[2289] Did this theater.

[2290] And, man, his new hour is fucking good.

[2291] It's so good.

[2292] Have you seen him?

[2293] Yeah, I saw him at the creek in the cave.

[2294] Yeah, I mean, it's just so good.

[2295] I mean, I wish I could sit here and quote it, but I know he's going to probably put it out.

[2296] on his next special yeah he well he's still refining it you know and fucking around with it and he was working on new stuff and and playing around when he was here but uh it's it's interesting to watch him work again you know he's he's freer now than he's ever been before yeah yeah it's like he's gone through the worst and now he's on the other end of it and he's just still doing the same kind of comedy really funny really ridiculous and he's just the fucking greatest guy we we had such a good time you know uh in vancouver the uh mushrooms are legal so i walked into the shop called the fun the fungi shop that had the mushrooms on it and there's a girl working behind the counter and she's got on like a a yellow tube top and fucking pink hair and piercings and she's gorgeous and she's like the the shroom you know tender and uh i got like uh i got an eighth of um mushrooms like fresh fresh out of the feet And I took them.

[2297] I don't think Louis took them.

[2298] And then we went to an art museum.

[2299] And just when they kicked in, I was in the art museum.

[2300] And then we went to a brunch.

[2301] And then we started walking.

[2302] And, like, we got to a bus stop.

[2303] And I go, let's just sit here and look at these people.

[2304] And then a bus pulled up.

[2305] I go, let's get on the bus.

[2306] And we got on the bus.

[2307] And the bus went hurtling out of Vancouver.

[2308] Like, went over a bridge to an island.

[2309] And we just got off.

[2310] And we're just wandering around.

[2311] and we went to like a marina and we're looking at the boats and talking to people and then we found a bridge that took us back to Vancouver and it was like six hours and then when we got back to town we realized there was a film noir festival that was happening at this little indie theater that we had seen before and we walk in and the movie was starting in five minutes and we saw a double feature film noir as I'm coming down and I check my steps at the end of the day I had to 3 ,200 steps on mushrooms in Vancouver.

[2312] It was one of the greatest days in my life.

[2313] That sounds incredible.

[2314] What were the movies?

[2315] Do you remember?

[2316] Yeah, one was called something highway.

[2317] It was about, it was in San Francisco, and it was about these guys that had gotten a big load of apples, and they were bringing it from the country to San Francisco.

[2318] Yeah, Thieves Highway.

[2319] Was it good?

[2320] It was fucking good.

[2321] There was one scene where this guy is engaged to this girl and she's like, you know, she seems really sweet and they kind of play it that everything is, that everything is really cool between them.

[2322] And then he meets a prostitute in San Francisco when he sleeps with her.

[2323] And she's like, and she's like, you're after my money.

[2324] And she's like, yeah, at least you know that with me. You don't even realize it with her.

[2325] And so then later on in the movie, he loses all his money, and the fiancé fucking leaves him.

[2326] And the prostitute just looks at him and she goes, aren't women great?

[2327] And the whole movie theater, it was Phil Morris, so it's dark and it's slow and it's quiet.

[2328] And she said that line and, like, 150 people fucking doubled over laughing.

[2329] It was so perfect.

[2330] Aren't women great?

[2331] Yeah, it's human nature Yeah There's always going to be wolves There's always going to be wolves There's always going to be sheep Yeah And if you're in that situation And you don't recognize the signs Someone's getting over on you Yeah But you know what He married that hooker at the end of the movie Did he?

[2332] Well, he went away with her Yeah, they happily were after Yeah Maybe he worked out Hucker with a heart We all love the hooker in the heart Hucker with a heart In the movie, yeah Yeah, that's a pretty woman you know did you ever believe her as a prostitute in that movie it seems unlikely yeah she seems a little too emotionally stable yeah she seemed a little too confident she seems like not scarred up but that's what everybody wants right like you want like someone to genuinely be a good person in a bad circumstance who can change yeah and if love love can see through everything right and you can see that it's it's not her background that you're marrying but that pretty honest But the jigolo with the heart of gold, that one's not real.

[2333] Right?

[2334] The male jigolo that seduces the wealthy woman.

[2335] That was his other movie.

[2336] That's right.

[2337] He was in two hooker movies.

[2338] He was dating one and he was one.

[2339] Yeah, he was one.

[2340] Remember?

[2341] Call me. Remember that blondie song was fucking perfect at the beginning of that movie as he's laying out his ties and his shirt?

[2342] That was fucking cool.

[2343] He was fucking cool.

[2344] He was cool as fuck.

[2345] Him and Mickey Rourke were the two coolest actors of that day.

[2346] Oh, yeah, officer and a gentleman?

[2347] Richard Gier was a bad motherfucker.

[2348] Yeah.

[2349] But he seemed to get a little too Sotnam in his later years.

[2350] Two what?

[2351] A little too.

[2352] A little too.

[2353] Remember when he went up on stage after 9 -11?

[2354] It's like, we should choose love.

[2355] And they were like, boo, fuck you.

[2356] We're not in a love right now.

[2357] We'll do love in like a couple years.

[2358] Right now we need to hate for a little bit.

[2359] They didn't want to hear that.

[2360] They were booing them.

[2361] But, you know, he was trying to like talk peace and love to people.

[2362] Yeah.

[2363] We don't want to hear it.

[2364] Right.

[2365] What about Mickey Rourke and Pope of Greenwich Village?

[2366] Oh, my God.

[2367] That was a badass character.

[2368] And Eric Robbers.

[2369] They got my fucking thumb, Charlie.

[2370] Charlie.

[2371] They got my dumb Charlie.

[2372] That's one of those movies that I haven't told my son to watch yet because, like, that's one of the, you'll find this with your daughters as they get older is when they get to start to watch, like, the first time you sit and watch the Godfather with them and movies like that.

[2373] Well, you probably had it with like.

[2374] I've tried with the Shining.

[2375] They're like, boring.

[2376] Are you serious?

[2377] Yeah, they think it takes too long.

[2378] Boring.

[2379] Wow, that's a tough audience.

[2380] Bro, they're on TikTok.

[2381] They need to be stimulated instantaneously.

[2382] Right.

[2383] It's hard for them to watch something.

[2384] What is this?

[2385] This is the Pope of Greenwich Village.

[2386] Oh, yeah.

[2387] They got my thumb, Charlie.

[2388] They caught my fucking thumb off, Charlie.

[2389] The guy's a fucking psycho, man. He'll chop you up.

[2390] Oh, man. I'm so...

[2391] What would they give you?

[2392] Yeah.

[2393] They gave me, they gave me this stuff.

[2394] They gave me this stuff at the hospital.

[2395] But I took all of it.

[2396] I've been taking it all day.

[2397] You took all it is?

[2398] You took all it is?

[2399] I took it all, man. Charlie, what can I do for you?

[2400] I didn't do nothing, man. What can I do for you?

[2401] It was my life, man. I didn't want to give the poor bastard up, but it was my life, Charlie.

[2402] You Barney ain't sandwich.

[2403] I don't know him that much.

[2404] Take Barney up what about me, Paul.

[2405] Paulie, I'm friendly.

[2406] Did they press you for me?

[2407] Yeah, they press me. They break me hard.

[2408] They don't I?

[2409] That's a hug.

[2410] With the hold in the face.

[2411] Yeah, that's a good hug.

[2412] They got my thumb, Charlie.

[2413] What a scene.

[2414] What a great fucking scene.

[2415] The last of the method actors.

[2416] Those guys went on to do some terrible movies.

[2417] Yes, they did.

[2418] Until he came back with the, was it the fighter, the wrestler?

[2419] The wrestler.

[2420] Yeah.

[2421] But he'd done some terrible movies since, too.

[2422] Yeah, it took a long time until he got to the wrestler.

[2423] Eric Roberts did some karate movies.

[2424] Mm -hmm.

[2425] He did some terrible karate movies.

[2426] There was one like Star 69 or something?

[2427] But didn't Eric Roberts do some like movie where he was like a karate champion?

[2428] Wasn't it like, I remember watching us going, oh my God.

[2429] There was some like some karate, kumata type movie.

[2430] what is it best of the best two so imagine going from the Pope of Greenwich Village to the best of the best too Wayne Newton is there a fight scene let me see some karate he's going after him he's going after him look at this how many I got to do what's right of here now in a contest we're defeat I am one of three people that can teach you The lat full downs.

[2431] Don't disappoint me. To prove again that they are the best of the best of the best of the best of the Yeah man. It's in a karate movie.

[2432] Look at this.

[2433] Karate.

[2434] Hiya.

[2435] Flying sidekick kicks a guy over a railing.

[2436] The Best of the Best of the Best.

[2437] We thought of that title.

[2438] What if we call it the best?

[2439] Wayne Newton's in there.

[2440] No, we got to go bigger.

[2441] All right, what about the best of the best?

[2442] Look at this.

[2443] 1993.

[2444] Wow.

[2445] I thought he's a comedian.

[2446] I remind you guys, you guys didn't recognize him.

[2447] That's crazy.

[2448] What, there was a comedian in there?

[2449] One of the guys that they just showed, I thought he was a comedian.

[2450] Didn't he have a bad accident, Eric Roberts?

[2451] I think you're thinking of That guy Or who's that Oh that's Sean Penn's brother Oh yeah Chris Penn Chris Penn Right He's no longer with us Right No he's not No you're thinking of The guy from lethal weapon Who had a bad motorcycle accident No I think I think Eric Roberts had an accident too Oh really?

[2452] Yeah What the fuck's the guy from lethal weapon The older crazy guy You know the guy He did get in a car accident Eric Roberts Did he?

[2453] 91 a bad one i think it was like a i think he had a rough time after that accident but that's two years after words he did this movie now that was 93 okay something happened to his hand it says karate accident um but no what the fuck is his name man the old dude the gary bucey oh yeah yeah yeah he had a motorcycle accident no helmet yeah hit his head on a car and he was a big anti -helmet guy too he was like an advocate for not wearing helmets.

[2454] Dude, Eric Roberts' daughter is a huge actress now.

[2455] Emma Roberts.

[2456] Oh, yeah?

[2457] That's his daughter.

[2458] Yeah, she's huge.

[2459] People can be huge, and I have no idea who they are today.

[2460] I'm so removed.

[2461] How did Eric Roberts, how Eric Roberts went big, crashed hard.

[2462] Well, he was high on cocaine.

[2463] Eric had a horrible, horrific car accident in 1981.

[2464] Oh, 81.

[2465] So it was 93 that he was in that movie.

[2466] I was in a coma.

[2467] my speech was very retarded.

[2468] I had to learn how to walk again.

[2469] I don't think you're allowed to say that, Eric.

[2470] In 2018, you could say retarded stuff.

[2471] But he was also on celebrity rehab.

[2472] Oh, no shit.

[2473] Yeah.

[2474] It was a weird one.

[2475] Because, like, he was rehabbing off a weed.

[2476] So he's basically just, like, reading the newspaper hanging out.

[2477] Other people are, like, getting the itches, and they're fucking screaming at each other.

[2478] Fuck you!

[2479] Fuck you!

[2480] And Eric Roberts was over there.

[2481] Drink coffee.

[2482] he barely seems like there's anything wrong with him like he shouldn't be in rehab he's just here for the fucking sack check this is ridiculous he's addicted to fame remember um stanhope had a bit about how unethical celebrity rehab is oh yeah it's a great bit yeah it's a fucking great bit because it's so true what a terrible thing to do to people who are coming off of drugs take a fucking camera in their face yeah i know i know It's like the worst idea ever, like for someone trying to recover.

[2483] I mean, there's a reason why it's Alcoholics Anonymous.

[2484] And part of the reason why it's anonymous is that you don't want to hold somebody up as a role model for sobriety, because if they then lose their sobriety, it fucks up people that were looking to them.

[2485] You're supposed to look to yourself and your higher power.

[2486] Interesting.

[2487] Yeah.

[2488] And so the last thing you want to do is put celebrities out there to encourage people.

[2489] but it gets sober because they're the least stable people watching them deteriorate on the show too it's horrible yeah and then like I don't care what the fuck your check is and what the attention that you're getting it's not worth it like you don't you don't want everybody judging you based on the worst time in your life coming off a coke you know trying to get your shit together penniless you need to be on this show you're a famous person and you're not wealthy at all because you need to be on the show so the show what's the show pay how much is it pay can be that a lot It can't be like for the rest of your life money.

[2490] It might get you by it for the year.

[2491] But now you're stuck with the memory that everybody has about you, like throwing up in a bathtub coming down off of opiates.

[2492] Yeah, unless you can really nail it and know you're going to get sober.

[2493] You know, America loves a redemption story.

[2494] Dennis Rodman didn't.

[2495] All he did was like running a treadmill.

[2496] He was fine.

[2497] Yeah.

[2498] Because of him, it's like alcohol, like parties.

[2499] Right.

[2500] So he's just like working out all the time while he's there.

[2501] Yeah.

[2502] But, you know, like that people were saying horrible, insulting shit.

[2503] to each other and then they just put that on television I could never watch that there was another show that was called it was a show where they oh intervention you ever see intervention no that's intense it was regular people but like you would call them and you would stage an intervention with somebody and they would they would think that the TV crew is following them around about something else oh god until the moment where they walked into the room and their friends and family and therapist was there and then there'd be an intervention.

[2504] What a dirty trap.

[2505] It was a dirty trap, but it was a good fucking show, man. It was powerful.

[2506] Holy shit.

[2507] People get obsessed with watching people go off the rails, like hoarders.

[2508] Yeah.

[2509] People love watching that.

[2510] They love people watching people off the rails.

[2511] Yeah.

[2512] Going to their houses, boxes of newspapers, stacked up the ceiling, cat shit on the floor.

[2513] It's like, whoa.

[2514] Yeah, because they're trying to make people feel better about themselves.

[2515] And they've got to go pretty low.

[2516] Yeah.

[2517] You got a sheet load to go below America.

[2518] But it is weird how we become obsessed with people whose lives are falling apart.

[2519] Like we'll focus on like my 600 pound life or something like that.

[2520] Like people, they want to go, well, I feel better.

[2521] I'm not that guy.

[2522] Yeah.

[2523] You know?

[2524] And you also realize like, if you think about as crazy as you've ever been in your life, like what's the worst you've ever been and how much further couldn't have gone if you didn't self -correct?

[2525] If you didn't course correct in your life, would you ever have gotten to the point?

[2526] where you are one of those people that can't get off the couch because you're 600 pounds would you be one of those people that gambles away every fucking penny you have no matter what and you're in debt and you're terrified and you're like Adam Sandler and rough cut gems or uncut gems did you see that movie?

[2527] Great fucking movie.

[2528] Yeah.

[2529] And that movie gave me wild anxiety because I was like I know people like this I could see this being a real guy like he can't fucking stop he can't stop he can't stop gambling.

[2530] Yeah.

[2531] He's just addicted.

[2532] It's like huh!

[2533] Like you a man Imagine that was you.

[2534] Like, when I see a guy like Adam Sandler in Uncut Gems, I imagine I could be that guy.

[2535] Really?

[2536] Yeah.

[2537] With what?

[2538] If I was him, if I was him living his life.

[2539] With gambling.

[2540] You're that guy living that.

[2541] You could see that.

[2542] That was so well done and well written.

[2543] You could see the thrill in like the winning.

[2544] Like occasionally he would win and then he would lose.

[2545] And when he'd lose, he'd fucking devastated.

[2546] But he would win.

[2547] He'd be like, fuck yeah.

[2548] Fuck yeah.

[2549] Yeah.

[2550] Norm had that.

[2551] Norm was a gambler.

[2552] He lost everything like three times.

[2553] And I'm not speaking out of school.

[2554] It was documented.

[2555] Yeah.

[2556] He had a real game.

[2557] He would gamble on, like my friend wrote on one of his shows, and he would gamble if, like, if there was no pro football or basketball or whatever, he would be betting on girls high school basketball.

[2558] Jesus.

[2559] Yeah, whatever.

[2560] So how does he do that?

[2561] Does he have a bookie?

[2562] Yeah.

[2563] So he calls this guy up and go, what do you got for me?

[2564] Yeah.

[2565] And they're like, girls high school basketball, it was like, let's go.

[2566] Yeah.

[2567] Yeah, the thrill of gambling is apparently one of the most difficult to kick.

[2568] People with gambler problems, gambler's anonymous.

[2569] And I think it's a lot, like we were talking about with the football players, is the high, obviously it's not comparable.

[2570] But their high, that's their highest of high, is winning at gambling.

[2571] And then the thrill of chasing money and the wondering whether or not you're going to succeed, and then losing it, and then dodging the bookies and trying to, like, go to another.

[2572] casino and gather up a stake.

[2573] Well, that's what they say is a huge part of it, is it's actually the losing as much as the winning.

[2574] Yeah.

[2575] It's the fear of what's going to happen when I lose and then feeling that panic and that low.

[2576] Jesus Christ.

[2577] Yeah.

[2578] It's about the low in a way.

[2579] I knew so many guys that were gambling junkies from my pool hall days.

[2580] So many guys.

[2581] Like every day, they'd go to off -track betting.

[2582] They would come to the pool hall and they would gamble.

[2583] They'd play cards.

[2584] And if they had a job, it was just to scratch up enough money to gamble.

[2585] with all they cared about was gambling yeah they were just absorbed with it and it was really interesting what kind of gambling they would play poker they would play gin they would um shoot pool they would shoot pool but the problem with pool is you have to execute and a lot of guys didn't like that but you had to be able to make a shot and so it's nerves and controlling yourself a lot of these guys like their nerves were shattered so they were just gambling on stuff yeah you know like a lot of them were horse betters.

[2586] I knew a guy who got barred for life from carriage racing because they caught him standing up while the horse was winning.

[2587] He was trying to slow the horses down so much.

[2588] He stood up.

[2589] It was like pulling back on the reins.

[2590] And they banned him for life.

[2591] And he was always talking about, his name was, we called him George the Greek.

[2592] That was, I mean, his name was George.

[2593] He's a Greek guy.

[2594] The nicknames for people are very obvious.

[2595] It was Ray the Fireman, Mount Vernon Tommy.

[2596] It's like, where are you from?

[2597] What's your name?

[2598] And George the Creek was always talking about William Kuntzler.

[2599] He's my, he's my attorney.

[2600] He's going to take care of a fucking millions off these cocksuckers.

[2601] And he was a dirty racer.

[2602] Like he was corrupt.

[2603] Damn.

[2604] So he was a part of like fixing rate.

[2605] No, no, no, no, no, no. He was always running some kind of a scam.

[2606] There was always something going on with one of those guys.

[2607] They're like, listen, you should invest in this.

[2608] It's going to make a lot of money.

[2609] Like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2610] Get the fuck away from me. There was this guy who was father of, my daughter was on a soccer team.

[2611] And one of the girls' fathers used to come to the games, and he had a brand new red corvette.

[2612] And he always had on shiny clothes, and he was a professional gambler.

[2613] And he would tell me about, like, I'm going to Vegas.

[2614] He plays poker, and he makes money.

[2615] And every week, I fucking love talking this guy.

[2616] He was just so full of life.

[2617] And then one day he shows up when he's in like a 78 dots and beat.

[2618] 2 -10 with fucking the wrong quarter panel on it.

[2619] I'm like, bad weekend in Vegas.

[2620] He's like, I don't want to talk about it.

[2621] Yeah.

[2622] He changed pink slips with somebody.

[2623] Yeah.

[2624] Yeah, go off the rails.

[2625] Those gamblers, they're like, they're, if you're betting high enough and chasing that dragon of excitement, you're probably going to risk it all.

[2626] Yeah.

[2627] Imagine the thrill of putting your wife's asleep at home.

[2628] She doesn't even know you're putting your fucking.

[2629] house on a game of roulette.

[2630] Fuck.

[2631] Fuck.

[2632] Coming to America was such a fucking great premise.

[2633] You ever see that movie, that Albert Brooks movie?

[2634] They leave L .A. It's Albert Brooks and his wife is the woman from airplane.

[2635] Remember the woman who's the star of airplane?

[2636] And so they're successful yuppies and they're making tons of money and they have a nice house and they decide to sell everything.

[2637] They're going to simplify.

[2638] We're going to buy a mobile home.

[2639] and we're going to spend the rest of our lives just traveling living life so they put all their money into a bank account they get in the Winnebago first stop out of L .A. to get to the Grand Canyon is going to be Las Vegas and so they go down and they play a little bit of blackjack and she's losing and then he goes all right come on let's go and she's like I can just play one or two more hands so he goes to bed and she stays playing and she's got the bug she doesn't realize she's got a gambling problem and she gambles all night and she loses all their money.

[2640] They call it the nest egg.

[2641] Oh, I remember that.

[2642] The nest egg.

[2643] You're not allowed to say nest egg.

[2644] You're not allowed to say egg.

[2645] You can't say nest.

[2646] And then he goes to Gary Marshall who plays the manager of the casino and he's trying to pitch to him.

[2647] What if I do a commercial for you guys and I say, hey, look, you gave the money back to a customer.

[2648] And it's fucking hilarious.

[2649] So now they're, so that's the first act of the movie and the rest of the movie is just them broke in America this great scene play this well it's just the trailer it's just the trailer of it yeah it happened to be the right same time it's her losing the money right here Albert Brooks was great yeah he played a great like hapless guy who finds himself in terrible circumstances as the boldest experiment in advertising history you give us our money back we're finished talking one of the greatest comedies of all time the boldest experiment in advertising history no he was great man yeah dude he started you know who is how he got started he grew up in Beverly Hills his brother was Super Dave Osborne and did you know that no yeah his brother's super did know the guy from Curb Your Enthusiasm.

[2650] That's his brother.

[2651] And he grew up, and his actual name in real life is Albert Einstein, Albert Brooks.

[2652] Wow.

[2653] And so he grew up, and his best friend growing up in Beverly Hills was Rob Reiner.

[2654] And so Carl Reiner is on The Tonight Show one night with Johnny Carson.

[2655] And Carson goes, who do you think is the, I mean, you work with Mel Brooks, you've been with the greats, like, who's the funniest person that you know?

[2656] and he said my 15 -year -old son's friend Albert Einstein Wow And so Johnny goes, I want him on the show So they book him on the show And he comes on and he does this bit I don't know if this was the first bit that he did It might have been the first bit that he did He had one of those Simon Says things Where you like push A and it goes A, B And he does a like a comedy routine with the Simon says And he's 15 maybe 16 he fucking destroys and Carson starts bringing him back and he did Carson like 20 times before he was like 21 years old and he would always come on with these conceptual bits and he just that's how his career started I don't think people can even appreciate the impact of being on Carson today I don't think people understand There was three channels there was 20 million people watching Carson every night And when he liked someone, they would be successful.

[2657] Yeah.

[2658] Like a comic, like guys like Richard Jenny who would do the Carson show.

[2659] Like that's what made him.

[2660] Right.

[2661] People seeing him do five minutes on Carson.

[2662] Well, it's not dissimilar from doing the Joe Rogan experience.

[2663] It's different for sure, you know.

[2664] There's a lot more options now.

[2665] Yeah.

[2666] Right.

[2667] It's like five million podcasts.

[2668] Right, right.

[2669] That Tonight Show thing, like.

[2670] If he didn't like you, you were fucked.

[2671] Yeah, it was over.

[2672] It all came down to that.

[2673] And if he liked you, I mean, yeah, comedians talked about it.

[2674] They said that all you had to do is tell a clubbucker that you did the tonight show with Johnny Carson.

[2675] And all of a sudden your money went from, you know, 1 ,500 a week to, you know, 15 ,000.

[2676] Didn't Howard Stern have, like, a famous feud with him?

[2677] With Carson?

[2678] Yeah.

[2679] Oh, I didn't know that.

[2680] They hated each other.

[2681] Oh.

[2682] That was one of those weird times where if one of those guys crossed you, if you were in a bad situation with one.

[2683] of those guys.

[2684] Oof.

[2685] It's not that many people.

[2686] Remember Joan Rivers?

[2687] Oh, yeah.

[2688] Joan Rivers was the guest host for him forever.

[2689] Right, right.

[2690] And then Fox gave her her own talk show, and he was outraged that she would compete against him.

[2691] And he never had her back on the show.

[2692] Isn't that crazy?

[2693] Yeah.

[2694] And she was a staple of the show.

[2695] She was like his go -to person.

[2696] She used to host when he was off.

[2697] Shouldn't he be, like, happy?

[2698] She's getting her own show.

[2699] You would think.

[2700] I think, like, the competition then was a real thing.

[2701] Because we don't think of competition the same way Because with the internet They're like all that stuff's been eroded Right There's so many choices You do whatever you want at any time So if someone's watching you at 11 o 'clock They could watch that another time Or it doesn't matter Right But back then it mattered Like you had to be in front of your fucking television At 11 p .m. And that's when the Tonight Show came on Period.

[2702] End of discussion Yeah It only came on at one time And you had to sit there and watch it then Right And there was no VCRs And you got to remember that this guy was on a tonight show and then if you're on the tonight show three times, four times, like, oh, it's Don Rickles again.

[2703] I love Don Rickles and he'd see him again.

[2704] Like, oh, it's Don Rickles.

[2705] And then they became a person that was in the public sphere.

[2706] Yeah.

[2707] There's nothing like that now.

[2708] Like, does that, I mean, we don't understand, like, the access we have to just different content and there's so many more options for people to do things now.

[2709] Right.

[2710] Yeah, now it's like everybody's got a publicist because they have to work so many different avenues.

[2711] Yeah.

[2712] You know, you've got to scramble to get on, you know, cable and podcasts and logs.

[2713] Yeah.

[2714] It's crazy.

[2715] But it's also like some things rise up and some things get noticed.

[2716] And you're like, why is that thing getting noticed?

[2717] Like, what's, and some of it's artificial and that doesn't work.

[2718] You know, they'll pop up some celebrity and give them a podcast and make a big deal out of it.

[2719] But after a while, people are like, this sucks.

[2720] Yeah.

[2721] And they stop listening.

[2722] There's too many options.

[2723] When you're alone by yourself, all that finagling and, you know, and promoting things.

[2724] And it's like, doesn't work.

[2725] It doesn't work.

[2726] Like, people like what they like?

[2727] Right.

[2728] When you're alone, you get to choose.

[2729] Like, what do I want to watch?

[2730] I want to watch this.

[2731] That's the real determination of whether or not something's good.

[2732] And we don't keep watching.

[2733] Like, the fact that we both stopped watching the old man, like, people didn't used to stop watching.

[2734] kept watching your series.

[2735] Yeah, I bail on stuff.

[2736] Yeah, I bail all the time.

[2737] Did you see what they did at House of Dragons?

[2738] Oh, I bailed on that last week.

[2739] House of the Dragon put all new actors in.

[2740] That's when I bailed.

[2741] I was like, what are you doing?

[2742] And the only compelling actor on the show was the daughter.

[2743] What are you doing?

[2744] Yeah.

[2745] What are you doing?

[2746] So stupid.

[2747] You could have just made her look older.

[2748] Yep.

[2749] You fucking idiots.

[2750] First of all, she looked like a 25 -year -old actress playing a 15 -year -old actress.

[2751] It would not have been a stretch.

[2752] And she's supposed to look 35, right?

[2753] In the next one, it's like 10 years later or whatever it is.

[2754] That's not hard to do.

[2755] No. You could do that.

[2756] Why did you do that?

[2757] It's crazy.

[2758] And they kept some actors.

[2759] So they kept some, and they look exactly the same.

[2760] Yeah.

[2761] And then they just replaced people.

[2762] And they said, oh, but we cast the first people first.

[2763] And then they always knew the people that got replaced always knew they were going to be replaced.

[2764] That's still a terrible idea.

[2765] Yeah.

[2766] That idea sucks.

[2767] And there's not enough dragon.

[2768] I want to see dragons.

[2769] I want to see them fighting.

[2770] I want to see them torch and shit up.

[2771] They occasionally use the dragons.

[2772] Yeah.

[2773] It's very occasional.

[2774] They're threatened with the dragon a little bit, but nothing happens.

[2775] Yeah.

[2776] But it's also, like, they had me until they changed actors.

[2777] And, you know, my wife was like, fuck this.

[2778] Like, what the fuck they just do to me?

[2779] Like, what did they just do?

[2780] Why did they replace the queen?

[2781] But they kept the king?

[2782] They just made the king look older, but you got a whole new queen?

[2783] It took me like five minutes to realize that what was going on.

[2784] I was like, who is she?

[2785] Oh, she's her?

[2786] No. No, no, no. Why?

[2787] Yeah.

[2788] And the king, I mean, look, who am I to knock anybody's acting?

[2789] But, like, I don't find the king to be very good.

[2790] Yeah.

[2791] He's like, I'm sure he's a good actor, but maybe he's not right for the part.

[2792] But I'm not excited about the king.

[2793] Yeah, it's not compelling No But the changing of the actors Was a giant cluster fuck of a mistake Yeah Like whoever green lit that Like where was the adult in the room Yeah Is there another fucking way here You've got people committed to these people For hours and hours They're committed to these particular characters Now you're asking this Like you have to just accept That you have new actors So now I know it's all bullshit So now I mean When they did it with the crown, at least they did it from season to season.

[2794] And I think there was three different queens.

[2795] I never watched that.

[2796] It was good.

[2797] And I fucking hate the rural family.

[2798] I mean, first of all, I can't believe, I just can't believe the queen is dead.

[2799] I feel like it was just yesterday that I couldn't believe she was a lot.

[2800] Yesterday.

[2801] All my queens were.

[2802] But I'm not a fan of the royal family, but that show is really fucking good.

[2803] Olivia Coleman is unbelievable.

[2804] I haven't watched it.

[2805] But, you know, if you're going to do it every season, I guess, as long as you know you're going to do it every season.

[2806] Yeah.

[2807] Okay.

[2808] Suspension of disbelief.

[2809] But not mid -season.

[2810] Episode five?

[2811] What is it, six?

[2812] Whatever it is?

[2813] Yeah.

[2814] Fuck out of here.

[2815] Why'd you do that?

[2816] Like, you could have made those people look old.

[2817] It's not hard to do.

[2818] It's not impossible.

[2819] You have people who look like fucking dragons, right?

[2820] You have white walkers.

[2821] You have all this makeup.

[2822] Put some old people makeup on that young girl.

[2823] Change your voice a little bit.

[2824] Yep.

[2825] Fuck are you doing?

[2826] But the night is still the same?

[2827] You have the same night?

[2828] He looks exactly the same age.

[2829] Like, what are you doing?

[2830] And then they've also got, because of the time, the men are all dressed the same.

[2831] And they all have black, kind of wavy long hair.

[2832] Yeah.

[2833] And so you can't tell, is that that guy?

[2834] Right.

[2835] Or is that the other guy?

[2836] And now all of a sudden you're replacing him.

[2837] So now I've got to make that adjustment.

[2838] Right.

[2839] Fuck that.

[2840] Fuck that.

[2841] Here's another point.

[2842] There's another real problem.

[2843] This is a prequel to Game of Thrones.

[2844] There's black people in the prequel.

[2845] They're all gone later.

[2846] They're all gone later.

[2847] So what happened?

[2848] There's zero black people in Game of Thrones?

[2849] How many black people were in Game of Thrones?

[2850] I can't remember any.

[2851] But there's quite a few in House of Dragon.

[2852] There's a lot.

[2853] So what's going on?

[2854] Yeah.

[2855] You went through how many seasons with no black people in Game of Thrones?

[2856] And in the prequel, they're in every episode?

[2857] Yeah.

[2858] And it's the same island.

[2859] It's the same island.

[2860] Where they go.

[2861] And why do they all have white hair?

[2862] I don't understand.

[2863] Are you going to address this?

[2864] Can we just have black people that giving them white hair?

[2865] Why did you do that?

[2866] Well, there was some black people in Game of Thrones, weren't there?

[2867] There were certainly those eunuchs, the slaves.

[2868] right there was those those guys remember those guys that like fought for her oh yeah but they were eunuchs yeah and then there was certainly places that people went that had people of color but they didn't have royal family like in this movie it's royal family yeah it's like the targaryans or the lannisters or whatever what the fuck man crazy changing actors mid show is so bunkers.

[2869] Yeah.

[2870] It's just such a bunkers idea.

[2871] And they just said, okay, this is how we're going to handle it.

[2872] Yeah.

[2873] You just fuck people's heads up.

[2874] Yeah.

[2875] You're trying to hook people into a show.

[2876] And just as you build the character and get them excited about them.

[2877] And she was good.

[2878] I like the young, the young queen.

[2879] Right.

[2880] It was great.

[2881] And also like her uncle, the guy who molested her.

[2882] Spoiler alert.

[2883] he's still around Yeah, he's still around And he's the same Doesn't look any older But she's like This totally different lady now He's in the crown He plays Prince Philip in the crown Yeah I haven't watched the Lord of the Rings thing On Amazon but I heard it's a fucking disaster Oh is it It's the most expensive TV show ever made You know how much they spent on it?

[2884] How much?

[2885] $800 million dollars right jamie can you look that up i think it was 800 million dollars for like seven episodes 700 million for eight episodes something crazy and i heard that the people that did it have never run a show before oh no shit first time showrunners this is 465 $465 million dollars was last year though hold on oh that's a lot that's a lot yeah I see now 715 to date so they might have spent more of it since the last year.

[2886] 715 to date.

[2887] Damn.

[2888] How was that doing?

[2889] What are the reviews?

[2890] What's like rotten tomatoes on the new Lord?

[2891] I know Elon Musk talks shit about it.

[2892] A lot of people are very upset.

[2893] 84 % rotten tomato.

[2894] Oh, dorks, liars.

[2895] Russian troll farms.

[2896] 6 .9 IMDB.

[2897] That's actually pretty good.

[2898] I didn't watch any of the movies.

[2899] Did you watch the Lord of the Rings movies?

[2900] Yes, loved them.

[2901] Oh, really?

[2902] Yeah, well, I was a big fan of the books when I was a kid.

[2903] Yeah.

[2904] The books are incredible.

[2905] I mean, the guy wrote a language.

[2906] He wrote a fucking...

[2907] I mean, he wrote a whole language to go with the whole story.

[2908] Right.

[2909] Like the gollum and the ring and that whole story.

[2910] And like, oh, my God, that's amazing.

[2911] Yeah.

[2912] Amazing.

[2913] Yeah.

[2914] It just so speaks to human nature, this poor creature, just captivated by this object.

[2915] Yeah.

[2916] Be precious.

[2917] I remember being 14 and being like, wow, transported to another play.

[2918] Like, that was when reading was intense.

[2919] Do you remember that laying in your bed at night, reading Lord of the Rings or lying the witch in the wardrobe or one of those books?

[2920] And you just get sucked in.

[2921] For me, it was Stephen King books.

[2922] Oh, yeah.

[2923] Oh, that was like my favorite when I was a kid.

[2924] Whenever I'd get a hold of a Stephen King book.

[2925] Those were thick, too.

[2926] Those are long -ass books.

[2927] That motherfucker could write his ass off.

[2928] Yeah.

[2929] He was so prolific, too.

[2930] Yeah.

[2931] This is a breakdown of the budget here.

[2932] Average of $89 million per episode.

[2933] In comparison, the whole first season, or a season of Game of Thrones cost about $100 million.

[2934] $15 million in the last per show in the last two seasons.

[2935] Yeah, you might want to check someone's bank account.

[2936] But they paid $250 million just to get it.

[2937] Wow, just to secure the digital rights.

[2938] Yeah.

[2939] Wow.

[2940] Well, maybe it's good.

[2941] I've been hearing it's a disaster Is that HBO?

[2942] Oh no Amazon I'll give it a shot Yeah Oh we gotta give it a shot Shit if they're gonna spend that much money I'll watch it Yeah I'll give you one Yeah Like that gray man movie I think that movie was a couple hundred million dollars How much was the gray man For Netflix I think was the most money They ever spent on a film A hundred million dollars I think it's more Wait and then the thing is with $200 million?

[2943] Yeah.

[2944] For a Netflix movie.

[2945] $200 million.

[2946] For a Netflix movie.

[2947] And that doesn't include, like, marketing and all that shit.

[2948] Yeah, there's one release in the theater.

[2949] Shit.

[2950] That's a lot of mood.

[2951] They put it out for a week just so they could, if they could win an Oscar.

[2952] That's a lot of mood out.

[2953] Is that why they do it?

[2954] Yeah.

[2955] Yeah.

[2956] It only has to play, like, for one week.

[2957] The movie is, it's fun, but the book is way more brutal.

[2958] Way more brutal.

[2959] Yeah.

[2960] Yeah.

[2961] It's like, it's hard to do something like that and turn into a movie where you actually like the hero.

[2962] He's murdering people.

[2963] Right.

[2964] He's the best at killing people.

[2965] Yeah.

[2966] It's like, that's, you know, they pulled it off with John Wick, but that's generally hard to pull off.

[2967] Yeah.

[2968] Like, John Wick is a hit man that everybody loves.

[2969] Ice Man Cometh.

[2970] You see that?

[2971] No. Is that the docu -series?

[2972] Is that on the Iceman?

[2973] The Iceman?

[2974] The Iceman, yeah.

[2975] Yeah, that guy was terrifying.

[2976] Yeah.

[2977] But it is weird how you're kind of pulling for him.

[2978] Because he's got a wife and he's like really sweet to his daughter.

[2979] And then he goes off in his car at night and he just fucking kills people.

[2980] Yeah, he killed people for the mom.

[2981] He killed people for...

[2982] Well, the thing is with him is he killed for different mob families.

[2983] He was a hired gun for the Gambinos and the...

[2984] What was the other one?

[2985] I can't name all the crime families in New York, but he worked for different crime families again.

[2986] against each other.

[2987] He was a freelance guy.

[2988] Joey Diaz gave me a book once on, it's called Murder Machine, about Roy DeMayo.

[2989] Roy DeMayo was, he was a hitman who became a serial killer.

[2990] He was basically a sociopath, and they, just a total psychopath.

[2991] And they had like a room upstairs above this social club, and they would take guys the room upstairs and just chop them up in the bathtub, and they would kill people like constantly.

[2992] It was killing like 100 people.

[2993] A hundred people he killed?

[2994] Oh, yeah.

[2995] Who knows how many he killed?

[2996] Jesus.

[2997] Killed so many people.

[2998] Whoa.

[2999] And the book is terrifying.

[3000] The book is called Murder Machine.

[3001] But it's all about that guy.

[3002] So if you find Roy DeMayo, the story of Roy DeMayo.

[3003] Well, imagine if you're an organized crime family and you find a guy who's a serial killer.

[3004] He enjoys doing it.

[3005] Yeah, first -rate story of a mafia murder crew so deadly that even John Gotti turned aside a contract on its leader.

[3006] New York Daily News reports, Mustaine and Capetchi, co -authors Mob Star in 1989, tell a fascinating and repellently detailed story of Roy DeMayo and the gang he raised from teenagers in Carnacy, a Brooklyn neighborhood where death by natural causes is six bullets in the head, according to one cop.

[3007] The middle class de Mayo, a natural criminal was carrying cash in brown paper bags and driving a Cadillac by his high school senior year.

[3008] After establishing loans trucking headquarters in his Gemini lounge in Brooklyn, he shipped scores of stolen luxury cars to Kuwait, distributed drugs.

[3009] One of his crew was the chief supplier of cocaine at Studio 54.

[3010] Oh, that's a good cake.

[3011] And wholesale child pornography.

[3012] Damn!

[3013] When the inevitable business disputes arose, his crew simply made the other parties disappeared.

[3014] The victims were lured into a clubhouse behind the Gemini lounge before they were shot.

[3015] and dismembered.

[3016] It's just like taken apart a deer, it says, and then secured in hefty bags and tossed on the carnacy dump.

[3017] One murder led so easily to another that soon the Gemini method was used on anybody who got in the gang's way or annoyed them.

[3018] DeMaio presented three of his co -craze crew with a set of custom carving knives, which they kept in their car trunks in case a quick assignment arose.

[3019] The special NYPD FBI Task Force cracked the DeMaio gang.

[3020] It tagged the criminals for 75 murders.

[3021] DeMayo, who was rubbed out by fellow mobsters as the cops closed in, bragged of 100 personally, making him far more destructive than any known U .S. serial killer.

[3022] Wow.

[3023] It's a scary -ass book.

[3024] Damn.

[3025] You read that?

[3026] Yeah.

[3027] Joe gave me. You got to read this cock sucker.

[3028] Find out about the dark side yeah man well i remember when you lived in little italy when i went to visit you you had an apartment in little italy right down the street from the social club next door while everything was going on yeah i was on mulberry street between prince and spring and the ravenite social club which was goddy's headquarters was downstairs and one apartment over for me and they used to go wednesday night was the night when they all met and so all these limos would start pulling up along the street they would double part all the way down Mulberry Street, and they would go inside.

[3029] And the way, originally, they got a wiretap inside the club at some point.

[3030] I don't know how they got it in, but that's how they took down Gotti.

[3031] But then, so then Gotti found out about the wiretaps.

[3032] So they started walking down Mulberry Street.

[3033] They'd walk up and down, and they'd have their business conversations.

[3034] So the FBI parked cars there ahead of Wednesday night, and they put microphones in the hubcaps of the cars.

[3035] So as they walk by, they would pick up the snippets of conversation.

[3036] Wow.

[3037] Yeah.

[3038] And that was your neighborhood.

[3039] That was downstairs.

[3040] What is it like sleeping, knowing that shit was right next door?

[3041] Dude, the people that we rented our apartment from were, their name were Tony and Gladys.

[3042] I'm not going to say their last name.

[3043] And they were like in their 70s and their son Gregory, who was in construction, just bought them a condo around the corner.

[3044] And so they had this beautiful condo around the corner.

[3045] and this was a six -floor walk -up apartment that I sublet from them.

[3046] And it was me and George McDonald, and we paid, I think we paid $1 ,000 a month for, it was a one -bedroom, and they had illegally knocked a door down into a studio apartment next door.

[3047] So we paid $1 ,000 for that.

[3048] And I would pay them, the first of the month, I'd go over to their condo, and they would make espressoes, and they had canollies, and we'd sit down.

[3049] You always had to sit down with them.

[3050] and I'd give her I'd give them $800 and then when Tony would go in the next room I would give her another 200 cash because that was her bingo money and Tony don't need to know about that so Tony thought he was getting eight yes he thought he was getting eight and so we got broken into one time somebody came in through the roof and this meant when I was doing stand -up in New York so I had a lot of cash because you know you were running around doing cash spots every night.

[3051] So I had like a thousand dollars, which at the time was a fucking lot of money.

[3052] I had a thousand dollars sitting on my desk and it got stolen and some other shit.

[3053] And I told Tony and Gladys what happened.

[3054] And they go, we're going to talk to some people about that.

[3055] We're going to find out who did it because we know people.

[3056] You know, you know who I know.

[3057] I'm not saying who I know, but you know who I know and we're going to tell some people about it.

[3058] Don't worry about it.

[3059] We'll take care of it.

[3060] So what happened?

[3061] Nothing happened.

[3062] Nothing happened.

[3063] Yeah.

[3064] I don't know how much he really knew Gotti, but I'm sure he did.

[3065] Probably knew him a little, but imagine talking about that.

[3066] Mr. Gotti, I need to talk to you about something.

[3067] That's it.

[3068] That's the Raven Night Social Club right there.

[3069] Yeah.

[3070] Look how they used to dress on purpose.

[3071] That's my apartment.

[3072] It was like Popeye.

[3073] Dude, I walked up and down six fucking floors every day.

[3074] That's got to be good for you.

[3075] How'd you carry your couch up there?

[3076] It was all for them.

[3077] It was all their stuff.

[3078] It all had plastic on the, plastic on the couch.

[3079] And fucking, there was a, there was gun, there was shell casings in one of the end tables.

[3080] Wow.

[3081] Jesus Christ.

[3082] What is that neighborhood like now?

[3083] Is it still an Italian neighborhood?

[3084] No, it's all, um, super expensive boutiquey shops, you know, the kind of places where they, you walk in and they sell like six pairs of jeans and three belts for like a thousand dollars each and like, you know, little, you know, great little restaurants that have.

[3085] have like five tables in them.

[3086] They still have those kind of places there?

[3087] Well, that tenement's still there.

[3088] Wait, one, two, three, four, five.

[3089] Maybe it was only five stories.

[3090] I thought it was six.

[3091] Wow.

[3092] All right, Gregory.

[3093] Let's wrap this up.

[3094] Let's bring it home.

[3095] People want to see Gregory on the road.

[3096] I'm going to be coming to you New Orleans next weekend in Lafayette, Louisiana, and then I will be in Chicago at the Den Theater, October 15th.

[3097] Is it Gregfitsimins .com?

[3098] Greg Fitzsimmons .com, also Punchline in San Francisco, Tampa, side splitters, hyenas in Dallas.

[3099] So glad punchline's still around, San Francisco.

[3100] Same spot.

[3101] Remember, we almost lost that spot.

[3102] I know.

[3103] I got Burr and Chappelle and a bunch of people all flew up there and did shows and kind of bailed them out.

[3104] Yeah.

[3105] Amazing.

[3106] But, yeah, and then the podcast is Fitzdog Radio.

[3107] There it is.

[3108] And then I do Sunday papers on Sundays with Mike Gibbons.

[3109] We cover the news every week.

[3110] and childish with Allison Rosen Oh, you're going to be out here in Dallas At a hyenas in December Hainas, Fort Worth I heard that place is a shit It's great, I did it once before I've never done it, I heard it's awesome Yeah, it's really nice It's kind of got an indie feel Greg, you're the man, I love you Love you too, man Thanks for having me on My pleasure All right, bye everybody