#669 - Joey Diaz

[0] We're live, ba -baum.

[1] So this story is about...

[2] We're talking about G. Gordon -Liddy.

[3] So G. Gordon -Lidding, this episode of Miami Vice, was a sergeant in Vietnam, and right when Saigon fell, he held on to 300 kilos of pure heroin, and he took it to the United States and dead bodies.

[4] This was the episode's about.

[5] 1986, Miami Vice.

[6] They bring it to Miami, and he sat on it for 20 years, until the value went all the way up, just like an investment.

[7] And then he let it loose, but by that time it had gotten contaminated.

[8] they started killing junkies all up and down the East Coast.

[9] What a brilliant episode.

[10] Wow.

[11] So they had to go in and dig for Gigua and Liddy, and this motherfucker shows up, right?

[12] For like this board meeting.

[13] That's when I had to leave the house.

[14] He shows up to this board meeting.

[15] He's like, yeah, the heroin was mine, blah, blah, blah.

[16] He goes, I guarantee.

[17] They called him Sergeant Real Estate.

[18] And in the episode, he goes, I guess you guys forget who the hell I am.

[19] He turns around.

[20] He goes in this briefcase, and he throws a chain of ears on the table when he walks out.

[21] That's it.

[22] That's the episode.

[23] tremendous.

[24] And this is 80 what?

[25] This is 86, this episode on Miami.

[26] This is way before American gangster was talking about it.

[27] This was already out that they were bringing heroin and dead bodies.

[28] And that's how the episode starts.

[29] The reporter takes Don Johnson to the morgue, and he opens it up in Vietnam, and he goes, this is your friend.

[30] Stick your hand in there.

[31] It was just pure heroin.

[32] That was what they did, right?

[33] That's what they were doing towards the end.

[34] I don't know the beginning that was.

[35] But it was really the CIA.

[36] They're blaming it all on some black guy from Harlem.

[37] Well, you know, there's a guy.

[38] guy named Mr. Nice, I forget what his name is, something Banks, a famous drug dealer, when he said was it wasn't the CIA.

[39] What it was is some people in the CIA.

[40] He said it's some cowboys in the CIA, and that's what makes the most sense to me. Like, this idea that the big organization, the CIA would be involved in drug smuggling seems like so crazy.

[41] A to Z Joe Rogan, it's too many heads turned.

[42] There's plenty of people.

[43] There's plenty of people that did do it.

[44] Look, there's plenty of examples.

[45] Like, there's an example right now, this thing called the Silk road you know about the silk road the silk road was this underground drug dealing like network that this guy had created and they were just selling mad money mad mad drugs like underground and they had they created this thing like it's it's it's a total what it is is it operates like completely under the wire and these DEA guys I get think it was DEA they infiltrated it and they got into the Silk Road one of the first things they did they started stealing money Now, these guys are going to jail right now.

[46] They're in court right now.

[47] And they're wondering whether or not this case is even valid because these guys for sure had access to this guy's account.

[48] And part of what they were trying to try this guy on is his complicit, that he was complicit in the drug selling.

[49] And there was also some possibility that people were murdered, although there was no body.

[50] There's a lot of kinky shit going on with this.

[51] And the kinkiest part is that the agents were stealing money.

[52] Bitcoins.

[53] Yes.

[54] They were stealing hundreds.

[55] of thousands of dollars in bitcoin so they realized that there was a lot of value in this like that shit has always gone on i think the reason why you have guys like this that are showing up in the silk road case there's always been cowboys but i think there's been good guys too there's been guys who are in the cia that really did it for america this guy michael baker man i'm pretty good at recognizing bullshit you know and he's a long -time cia operative and he's a fucking great guy i mean really does seem like he loves america like i don't think he's bull shitting.

[56] I think there's a lot of those guys.

[57] They get in those positions and they get a group of them together.

[58] Just like they did with Rampart, with those fucking bad cops, they get a group of them together and go, look.

[59] What happened?

[60] Oops, I popped that out.

[61] They get together, look.

[62] All these guys are making money, right?

[63] Fuck them.

[64] They're all criminals and scumbags and cunts.

[65] Let's just get some of this money, man. Let's just get some of this money.

[66] Come on, man. You're never going to stop these fucking people.

[67] This is what we do.

[68] We keep throwing a few of them in jail.

[69] We do whatever fuck we've got to do.

[70] We were the gang here.

[71] We got the law on our side.

[72] Let's fucking make some money.

[73] When I said CIA, I shouldn't have said that.

[74] You're absolutely right.

[75] There was factions, like a brown bag, like a black bag faction that went in after the Marines were going.

[76] And they'd shoot everybody and throw cards.

[77] You know, whatever the fuck it was.

[78] When you're shipping heroin from wherever the fuck that is considered all the way to the United States through three or two different airports.

[79] And people have to unload them.

[80] And you have, you know, whatever people walking through your plane when they first come in, you know, to inspect them.

[81] That's a lot of people you got to grease.

[82] It has to be somebody huge.

[83] You know, this isn't me and you getting a boat and going to Columbia and paying some guy with me and Red Band, and we just shoot across with police scanners and try our best.

[84] You know, to make, to infiltrate, to bring in that amount of heroin, you have to spend a lot of dough.

[85] That's where your course come in.

[86] And that's where you set the wholesale and the retail prices.

[87] You know, years ago, 20 years ago, they would smuggle it 60 miles in, 70, 45, 50 miles in from the United States around Miami, and they would dump it overboard with weights.

[88] And 12 hours later, the boom would explode, and the bales would rise up, and you'd come by, a fisherman would come by and put the bales in.

[89] Meanwhile, the DEA was looking for that boat that was speeding across on their radar.

[90] But they would throw, you know, that takes it.

[91] expensive equipment to devise, something to throw you, you know, 50 pounds of cocaine 100 feet under the water, and then 12 hours later, everything blows, and your Coke rises to the top.

[92] And now some guy comes and just picks it up.

[93] This is brilliant stuff.

[94] That's so crazy.

[95] This is what the...

[96] That's really what they did?

[97] That was one part of the things they did.

[98] Oh, my God.

[99] You know, after a while to beat the federal government, you got to, and it doesn't...

[100] Listen, man, what the budget is for fighting drugs and what a drug dealer spends a month.

[101] I'm talking about a guy that's bringing in a thousand kilos a month of powder, whether it be heroin or fucking cocaine.

[102] That's big powder.

[103] Somebody's got to be turning around.

[104] And they were flooding the market with heroin.

[105] I remember being a little boy in New York and going to visit my godmother or my mother's friends and seeing people everywhere nodding.

[106] Early New York to me was a fucking, this shit that's the show now where people are dead walking around Atlanta?

[107] walking guy i saw that growing up i saw that growing up as a kid that skid row where they used to have in Harlem spanish Harlem black Harlem skid row is scarier than all those you know they had people nodding at the lights people waiting across the street and they nod at the fucking light you know what they don't have though in new york that they have here in l .a see new york all these cities have buildings there's like these these streets have they're where these people are it's like these are places where other folks go like you got all your homeless people you got you know You're poor people, but there's cars that go through those areas, and it's, you know, it's well -traveled.

[108] Like, New York blends more.

[109] L .A. has these blocks that are just homeless people.

[110] And when I mean just homeless people, I'm talking thousands.

[111] Like, there literally might be a thousand people on this block.

[112] Oh, dude.

[113] You've seen them?

[114] Oh, yeah.

[115] You make a wrong turn, and you get right in the middle of it also.

[116] It's a Michael Jackson video.

[117] Yeah.

[118] It really is.

[119] It's insane.

[120] Where?

[121] In downtown.

[122] There's a, like, what they call Skid Row.

[123] It actually says if you go on Google Map and type Skid Row Los Angeles, it actually says Skid Row on the map.

[124] And there's like a mile long.

[125] I mean, there's a couple blocks long.

[126] There's a lot.

[127] There's a lot of it.

[128] There's more than one area.

[129] There's like one long street.

[130] But we used to work when we did Fear Factor.

[131] We used to work in these buildings.

[132] And these buildings were a lot of them abandoned textile buildings or they were renting them out.

[133] So where American Apparel actually is made.

[134] It's really weird.

[135] We were in the American Apparel Factory We had to go through the American Apparel Factory to get to the roof We watched them like make their clothes You know they're like they do make them in downtown L .A. It's like one of the things they pride themselves in Jesus fight fucking Christ Joe EDS But we would go to the top of these Hang up on it, Jesus Christ You check and see who the fuck it is No, I'm trying to never really The um Sorry That's all right We would go to the top of these buildings And you could You could literally There's areas where you know you could see them like leaking out into the rest of the streets.

[136] And if you drove down there, if you drove down the street, I'm not bullshin.

[137] You would see hundreds, hundreds of homeless people just swarming the streets.

[138] And there's these areas where they have like, it's crazy, Joey.

[139] They have these areas where they give them food or they have, you know, areas where they can get medical assistance, stuff like that.

[140] And those areas are particularly dense.

[141] Now, when I shot NYPD Blue, I shot at a downtown location, That's what Poo Hall kind of sort of.

[142] And they had tons of homeless people.

[143] And while I was standing there, I heard people going in talking about how they had day rentals.

[144] The government would pay for 15 days, and they'd be out in the street for 15 days.

[145] Shit like that, but I didn't see that.

[146] I didn't see like a tentville.

[147] This isn't, this line seems mild compared to what I saw.

[148] When was this?

[149] What year is this?

[150] Well, maybe they've cleaned it up a little.

[151] Well, it's also during the day.

[152] I've gone through the night at nighttime, and that's scary as fuck.

[153] Jamie, hold on.

[154] Go back.

[155] Go back.

[156] I want to see what those statistics were.

[157] There's homeless people in every city, and it's out of proportion in some cities, more than others.

[158] Here, pause on that for a second.

[159] Skid Row is an area downtown L .A. 2000 cents.

[160] The population of the district was 17 ,740.

[161] Skid Rose defined as this, oh, my God, what the fuck does that mean?

[162] Defined in a decision by Jones v. City of Los Angeles is the area east of Main Street, south of 3rd Street, and west of Alameda Street.

[163] So it's kind of like a block.

[164] It's like an area But that area has 17 ,000 homeless people Is that right?

[165] That's a goddamn Kevin Hart concert That's a Kevin Fire and everything That's a Kevin Kevin Hart sold out Madison Square Garden Three fucking shows in a row He's a monster Comedy's in an all -time He's the biggest comedian of all time Kevin, no one's ever been as big as Kevin Hart As far as popularity No one even close I can't think of one person I think there's a couple guys that got up to that edge But I think he's taking it to a totally different stratosphere Like Dane got pretty far he got on that edge Louis on that edge But Kevin Hart is like routinely doing these crazy arena shows He's doing 40 ,000 plus people Or he sold 40 ,000 plus tickets already For a show in Philly where he's filming a special Dude, it's just total next level Positive energy shit And if you go to that kid's Instagram page His Instagram is all about like positive like energy like getting going to work i'm doing what i love to do i'm working shows him in the gym putting work in he does five ks with people in neighborhoods and shit you see that they were chasing last week in boston he flew into the five fucking k he's a bad mother he's got a reality show you know he's got a cartoon he's and he never stops got his own line of underwear i do whatever the fuck he wants he's an animal it would suck being in those concerts though and being like the back that cannot be enjoyable hearing like huge screens huge screens and the way they acoustically set up these things.

[166] It used to be a problem.

[167] Like, I told you that I used to work at Great Woods.

[168] This is kind of a funny story because it was during a Bill Cosby show that there was an issue.

[169] Bill Cosby and there was a Roddy Dangerfield show, the same issue.

[170] And the issue was the way Great Woods is set up, it's an amphitheater.

[171] So you're indoors and part of it, and part of it is outdoors.

[172] And the back of it leads out to this, like, lawn area, or at least it did when I worked there.

[173] And so you could hear if you were under the canopy.

[174] There was like an acoustic canopy above all the seats in the front.

[175] But then the back, there was no seats.

[176] So it's like you had monsters behind you.

[177] So you're trying to watch a show.

[178] Like there was one big fight.

[179] I think, I want to say it was Judas Priest?

[180] Was it Judas Priest?

[181] No, Jethro Tull.

[182] It was Jethro Tull.

[183] There was a Jethro Tull concert.

[184] And there was a fucking mad riot because people started lighting fires up in the hood, up in the grass area they were just lighting fires and there was not enough of us to sort of like control it all because it was getting really fucking crazy so I put my security jacket I put a hoodie on over my security jacket zipped it up through the hoodie over my head and said fuck this job and I just quit I was like you can't pay me nine bucks an hour to get killed because this is fucking madness I saw fist fights my friend Larry who's like one of the nicest guys in the world punched some guy and I was like I'm fucking that if Larry's hitting people Larry's like the sweetest of sweethearts and I'm like if this guy's hitting people I am gone this is a madness in the air I gotta get the fuck out of here I got pissed off for the Jetto tall concert too because he breaks out the flute you get fucking once he breaks out the flute you're like what the fuck is this the people from the East Coast we don't like flutes but we don't like flutes my point was in the back area the green the grass area you couldn't hear the words you didn't understand what the fuck it was it was all echoes it was a blah blah blah blah like People were pissed.

[185] They go, I don't know what the fuck he's saying.

[186] And Ronnie was killing, too.

[187] And so was Cosby.

[188] Cosby was killing too.

[189] We were just, Jamie and I were talking about Red Rocks.

[190] If you've been to Red Rocks, you get so impressed with the sound.

[191] You're like, gee, and I went like in 80 -something, and then I went like in 90 -something, and it was like being indoors.

[192] That's amazing.

[193] And Fiddler's Green, which is a little smaller, I think, on the other side of Denver, they had an issue there.

[194] But now, even the Hollywood Bowl.

[195] Jesus, look at Red Rock.

[196] It's just in the middle of a rock.

[197] How many people are there?

[198] What's the popular?

[199] Not too many, I think, I don't think.

[200] That's insane.

[201] Look how beautiful it is.

[202] Did you do stand up there?

[203] Do you ever do stand up there?

[204] No, no. They do it there.

[205] Yeah, somebody did it.

[206] Chuck Roy was doing a set there.

[207] He was doing like a movie night where he would like host and do some comedy.

[208] Yeah, Brody did.

[209] Look how beautiful.

[210] Brody didn't get paid for that one.

[211] That was one that Brody didn't get paid for.

[212] They fucked him out.

[213] He went on Twitter.

[214] He got his money.

[215] He should have fucking went on Twitter.

[216] Did he get his money?

[217] I think so.

[218] Well, we were retweeting it.

[219] Yeah, he's like, I'm sorry.

[220] That's crazy.

[221] I finally got my money for concert number three or whatever.

[222] Listen, what they did was crazy.

[223] What they did was crazy.

[224] He had two shows.

[225] One was in a small theater and one was in this big theater.

[226] He was doing the show in the small theater and they go, would you like to do a show in the big theater?

[227] So he goes, yeah, sure.

[228] Thinking he's going to get paid.

[229] They ask him, do you want to work?

[230] He put his name on the bill.

[231] Like he tweeted pictures of the lineup.

[232] They had his name in the lineup.

[233] It wasn't like a guest set or anything like that.

[234] It was a guy they had scheduled on the show.

[235] And nobody wants to go up first.

[236] You don't want to go up first in front of fucking 15 ,000 people.

[237] You want to get the crowd warmed up first.

[238] Brody had to go up there and do the hardest spot of the night.

[239] The second hardest spot of the night is like following someone who crushes.

[240] Like if you're going on after Diaz, that's the hardest part of the night.

[241] But the second hardest part of the night is the first guy.

[242] The first guy, this first couple minutes is kind of like a throwaway.

[243] You've got to kind of get everybody loose, get everybody feeling good.

[244] And then boom, hit them.

[245] And the material has got to have very few.

[246] bumps in it because you're trying to hypnotize these fuckers so like the early material it's got to be like real smooth the more herky jerky the earlier stuff is less likely to trust you you you motherfucker you can't even get me in a goddamn trance you're slipping up your words you know but if you go out there just smooth style and just walk right into it and really know what the fuck you're doing to get things started you you forget about that I forget about that I opened for Callan when he was doing his DVD and I just opened it was first time I had done that in forever.

[247] I was like, ooh, this is interesting.

[248] This is like a different...

[249] You kind of got to get everybody.

[250] You feel it.

[251] You feel like they're not quite there yet.

[252] You got a kind of like massage.

[253] And then then you start to fucking crank it up and make them keep up.

[254] You know, but it's definitely a different thing.

[255] You got to slow them down, suck them in, and then the other night, I did the storyteller show.

[256] And, you know, everybody talks about suicide.

[257] I had a kid that grew up with Steve Mancini.

[258] And one day, he just said, fuck it.

[259] He went to Carvel.

[260] He walked a suicide bridge.

[261] He ate his Sunday.

[262] He took his glasses off.

[263] He put him down and he jumped.

[264] And that was it.

[265] Didn't leave a note, nothing.

[266] He was always a little fucking crazy.

[267] Every time he saw him, he was quoting albums and shit.

[268] Like, it's rolling thunder, fire and rain.

[269] So you know he was disturbed somewhere along the line.

[270] But nobody gave a fuck.

[271] Like even today, when I go home and I go, what happened to Steve Banchett?

[272] Fuck him.

[273] He jumped.

[274] He committed suicide.

[275] Times have changed.

[276] People give a fuck.

[277] Now you kill yourself.

[278] Oh, he was a hurting soul.

[279] years ago you kill yourself fuck that motherfucker he's a limbo isn't that funny because it was more like back then like god fucking you're an idiot you know back then like that's it you were forgotten you didn't they have no mass for you right when you ice yourself you can't get masked that's true if you're religious right yeah you can't get masked up when you die they bury you you don't go to hell of heaven you're like limbo you're floating around with other people carrying a rope we never heard about like mental illness when i was a kid no heard about like completely crazy people that were locked in an asylum.

[280] But the idea of like your aunt taking pills because she's bipolar, like, what are you talking about?

[281] Because it was accepted and everyone did it.

[282] You know, it's like, oh yeah, we used to take volume and no, I think it's the opposite.

[283] I think you just got used to people being fucking crazy.

[284] You know, you didn't feel like you had to medicate them.

[285] You know, I think people were way more crazy in the 60s and 70s.

[286] I do Johnny Reed that tried to kill himself, but he jumped off a building, he landed in a dumpster.

[287] Oh, my God.

[288] Oh, my God.

[289] How bad.

[290] Was he broken?

[291] Fucked up, right?

[292] He fucked up.

[293] And he threw punches into the air.

[294] Johnny Reed was a trip.

[295] He was an Irish.

[296] And he got a check from the government.

[297] And he gave it to the bartender on the first.

[298] That's what people thought.

[299] But he lived.

[300] Like he banged his head on the dumpster.

[301] Oh, my God.

[302] And he fucking over the dog.

[303] He lived.

[304] And he'd give his check from the government on the first to the bartender.

[305] And he torment the bartender to that check was done.

[306] And they'd throw him out for the first.

[307] And they would last until about the 18th and 19th.

[308] When I was a kid, he said, I met Johnny Reed.

[309] He'd go into the, you know, on the East Coast, you locked the bathrooms from the out.

[310] What the fuck he said?

[311] You locked the bathrooms from the outside on the East Coast.

[312] When you leave a bar at night, when they close up, they lock, they lock, and then they put, like, a lockball.

[313] So if you break in, they can't.

[314] He would go in the bathroom, Johnny Reed, like, 11 o 'clock in the morning to pee, and we'd lock him in there.

[315] We'd leave him in there until, like, 6 o 'clock at night.

[316] We'd come back to have a drink.

[317] We'd open the bathroom, and he'd come out like nothing.

[318] I swear to God, like, nothing happened.

[319] He was hilarious.

[320] I mean, one day I put my dick on a chair next to him.

[321] He was sitting on a bar.

[322] My friend's like, put your dick on the chair.

[323] See what happens?

[324] And he's like, wow.

[325] And he just got up.

[326] Johnny Re lived like maybe 12 years ago.

[327] We used to give him bumps of Coke and get him riled up at the bar.

[328] And then he just leave.

[329] Fuck you, motherfuckers.

[330] I'll fight all he is.

[331] And he just fucking leave.

[332] Hilarious.

[333] Anyway.

[334] Did you ever have a girl you dated to kill or something?

[335] No They should have After I put that Fucking helmet Ratted Clementia fucking dick in you You should kill yourself You should kill yourself The first time And when you get to your destination Kill yourself Once you get up to heaven No I'm not forgiving me Are all your ex -girls still alive Both of you?

[336] Well I was gonna bring it out It was like one girl that I knew She didn't kill herself Well, she kind of did But it was with drugs But she wasn't ever a girlfriend She was a girl I knew when I was young Then I hung out with her again When we were like adults But not much You know we'd talk on the phone every now And she was fucked up She was some form of opiates I don't know the whole story But she was sweet girl It was a real bummer It was really depressing When you hear about shit like that It's like ooh That's so depressing you know it's it's so depressing when someone just can't keep a hold on it or just gets caught up in a spell and then their life just slips away i know more than i mean more than i like i know quite a few people i've a real problem with those goddamn pills especially those pills they're so fucking available joey they're they're so available they give them you you hurt you got a boo -boo you got a boo -boo here man become a fucking angel take this Go off in a lala land, melt into your pillow and float away in a cloud of love.

[337] Go ahead.

[338] And, oh, you're going to have to get off that if you want your life.

[339] And you give these people these pills and you tell them, hey, man, you got a few weeks off of work.

[340] You know, you hurt your back.

[341] How to get surgery.

[342] And you'll start popping these fuckers watching TV.

[343] And next thing you know, do do do do do do do do do do do.

[344] That's your life.

[345] Your life is that.

[346] You're a fucking shop.

[347] You know, shop is a goddamn super athlete.

[348] Brendan Choms is a big giant gorilla, UFC fighter, pretty straight -edge dude, pretty clean -cut dude.

[349] Four months in, he's taking these fucking pills, and his friends have to tell him, like, dude, you've got to stop.

[350] His friends have to take his pills from him.

[351] They fucking get you, dude.

[352] Yeah, I know a girl that's going through it.

[353] She buys Vicaninan.

[354] And, like, I was talking to it.

[355] From dealers?

[356] Yeah, she has, she gets Vicanin and he downer.

[357] And then it's weird because then she can't sleep at night, so it's her, all piled up just talking like online and like on periscope and shit you're just like what the fuck it's weird watching strangers on periscope also just you know late night how long before somebody kills himself on periscope i think it's already probably happened right probably right you know it's crazy i had a girlfriend in the eighth grade i really dug i met her she was a cheerleader pretty cute this is fucked up and uh irish chick just red hair i just dug a you know we'd hold hands and eat a slice of pizza after the basketball game we went to movies we maybe swap spit and one day we were talking about dry hump and whatever the fuck we're gonna do we went back to a house I never forget this I was dating like maybe two or three months just on the weekends and I'd walk down in the Union City and one day asked I said what time your parents got home she goes when my dad gets home at five and my mom is dead and I was like 12 or 13 Joe my head almost exploded I was like what the fuck are you talking about she's like my mom died at childbirth you know and I was like I couldn't even make out with her after that I couldn't do anything I was just I just remember going home and going I can't see this girl more more I mean wow what the fuck how come you couldn't see her I just I thought had never entered my mind so it was just too sad for you it was too it was too mind -boggling like not having a mom so I called her up one day and I stopped dating her and I started dating this other Irish chick and I never thought about her again, you know, I know she was mad and then my mother died and I was like, that's the first person I thought it was this poor girl like I knew what she fucking felt like now.

[358] I never, I could never imagine that pain when I was dating and when she told me that I'm like, what are you fucking talking about you?

[359] Whose mom dies?

[360] Whose fucking mom dies?

[361] That's the worst thing I've had.

[362] I think one of my girlfriends died.

[363] One of the girls I dated early on died about two years ago.

[364] I'm still friends with her brother.

[365] We didn't really date.

[366] We messed around a little bit.

[367] She was fucking crazy.

[368] And she ended up dying from pills and booze.

[369] Nobody really knew.

[370] Joe, we started off with guns and then we went to death.

[371] No, he asked me, what the fuck?

[372] He's the one that asked me if one of my girlfriends killed themselves.

[373] So I was just thinking about it.

[374] It's, you know, it's weird when people that you really care about aren't there anymore.

[375] It's a weird thing because they just vanish.

[376] They just don't exist anymore.

[377] And it's a sadness that it's just so, it's so forever you know i mean my friend johnny is uh who was my best friend for a long time it's a great guy i fucking loved that dude couldn't wait to see him every time i go to the east coast we'd hang out flew him up here and uh when i flew him up here he was detoxing same thing pills uh he was he's into oxies and he was into um he was into heroin like strong shit you know like strong opiates towards the end and uh you know took a few days for him to get off of it and then then we could go around and hang out he was just at my house just sweating for like four or five days and when he died man i remember thinking like i can't believe i'll never talk to that dude again i can't believe like he was like there's one of the things about johnny is like he had this like real clear view what the fuck is going on like he he was he had him his life might have been chaotic as far as drugs but he knew exactly what everybody was up to he knew he just knew he just knew he was a very smart dude very good at reading people and you can see like he's like looking around shit when i met you that was the first thing that i noticed when i met when i met you it's like there was all these people that were scared you it was so weird there was all these people that were like nervous around you you know they thought like Joey Dia's a bad guy like this is like late 90s or whatever it was when we first met and I was like you're out of your fucking mind like this guy's great you you seem to me to be a lot like him and you the only two you and him are the only two like real original humans I've ever met where I can't I don't know anybody else like you and I didn't know anybody else like him just completely original characters.

[378] It was one of the first things that I really liked about you.

[379] Because we met like, what was it, like, 95 or some shit?

[380] Like, when was it?

[381] Was it 97?

[382] At the story.

[383] I was still on news radio.

[384] So it was only, so I would have to spend two years into news radio.

[385] And having those kind of friends, whose phone was that?

[386] Your was Joey?

[387] How dare you?

[388] It's, uh, it's, you know.

[389] Friends like that are so important in your life.

[390] Friends who?

[391] You need people to clear you up from time to time.

[392] That's why I call home.

[393] every morning.

[394] I got four or five different guys that whenever I talk to, they, I talk to them and everything gets nice and smoothed out.

[395] Yeah.

[396] Every morning.

[397] For them too.

[398] One or the other.

[399] Yeah.

[400] And right now, it's really weird because now I have two friends.

[401] I haven't spoken to in 20 years.

[402] When I went on the, on the lam to Sarasota, that kid hit me up on an email.

[403] He goes, I need to talk to you.

[404] And him and I, when I went back to New Jersey, he was one of those kids.

[405] He was in Sarasota.

[406] You know what there is to do with Sarasota in 1982?

[407] Nothing.

[408] So when I went down there, he was all excited he's got a partner you know the thing about him is he was shooting fucking deca and his biceps i mean seriously he was shooting him in his shoulder caps and his traps he was gone he was gone you know what i'm saying he was just a balloon and he was eating he was eating what's the german five milligram the shit that just puts not testosterone not deca deroblin but he was eating that gorilla shit we're guaranteed the gain deck uh not deca but d ball T -ball.

[409] No, what's Diana ball?

[410] Anadryl?

[411] This is 1982 people, so the names of change.

[412] Yeah, if you want to look like a fuck.

[413] So everything on him was, he was popping those Diana balls.

[414] Right.

[415] Like, he was supposed to eat three a day.

[416] He was eating like eight a day.

[417] He was eating a double prescription bottle and then blasting off the fucking shit in his forearm.

[418] I mean, he was huge.

[419] I loved him, though.

[420] I got him.

[421] So when I left, he always got mad at me. He called me, man. He hit me up on an email on my website.

[422] I called him back.

[423] I go, what's up, dog?

[424] It took me a couple days long.

[425] I don't want to hear this shit.

[426] And he goes, hey, man, my dad died.

[427] He goes, I got to tell you something.

[428] I think about you every day because I can't imagine how you were handling this shit at 16.

[429] Then my other buddy died.

[430] His mom died about a month ago.

[431] I sent flowers.

[432] And he keeps calling me every morning going, dog, I don't know how to fuck you did it.

[433] At 16, I got the most respect for you in the world.

[434] It's like now I'm paying them back for them taking care of me when I was younger.

[435] It turned around.

[436] I missed my dead.

[437] buddies, bro.

[438] I'd miss Raygo.

[439] Like that crazy dude, the bodybuilder that was fucking, you know, we would take him to bars and we'd say, Raygo, get on top of the fucking stage and pose.

[440] Who goes to a ball?

[441] Like, he didn't give a fuck.

[442] And I'd take him to the UFC bar and go, get up there.

[443] This is the guy that you told me that was doing a line while his mother shot steroids?

[444] No, that's Danny B. That's a different guy.

[445] This is...

[446] He's doing a line in front of his mother while he was on the phone or his mother shot steroids in his ass.

[447] While he was doing a line, and he's talking on the phone at the same time.

[448] This is brilliant.

[449] Come on.

[450] Tell me that wouldn't be like one of the most hilarious scenes in a movie ever.

[451] We talk about it.

[452] He comes to my shows, Danny B. He still comes to my shows.

[453] He still alive?

[454] He calls into the podcast.

[455] That guy make it.

[456] He just put a picture of him on Twitter, dressed in fucking full Army regalia with like fucking five generals behind him.

[457] Him 19 years old.

[458] He was the soldier of the year in the Army, though.

[459] That's why he was doing this, this, and this at the same time because he could do that.

[460] That's how crazy you.

[461] He was the soldier of the year They were doing exercises in fucking Beirut And four guys were in the rap And the rap tipped over And he saved all four of him So they made him the soldier The fucking year He went to the White House Two years later They discharged him And he was selling blow On the fucking shit How fucking crazy is that?

[462] They dishonored to be discharged him For running a gambling operation In the fucking North Carolina Wherever they were stationed But this other Let me ask you that Oh sorry Go ahead No no this other kid That I showed you The crazy one that he won like Mr. New Jersey, Darren.

[463] I miss him every morning.

[464] And he was a guy that died young from steroids?

[465] He died from, you know, everything.

[466] He had hepatitis C. Oh, Jesus.

[467] From sharing needles?

[468] Well, he was already shooting in high school.

[469] Really?

[470] By March of 82, he was already coming to my house.

[471] I got to talk to you, dog.

[472] I got to talk to you, man. Like, that's the first person who ever.

[473] Ever, ever sat me down.

[474] He's like, listen, let me tell you.

[475] And he was coked out.

[476] We were both doing coke.

[477] And it was like a secret inside his heart.

[478] He said, I've got to tell you something, man. And he took off his shirt, and he started doing push -ups.

[479] Like, when somebody just starts doing 50 push -ups in front of him, like, what the fuck's going on?

[480] He got up and started flexed it.

[481] I'm like, what are you doing?

[482] And he goes, I go to this person's house, and they were gay in 82.

[483] These two guys were gay.

[484] But he grew up with them, and he remained friends with them.

[485] He didn't care they were gay.

[486] nobody knew so they were sharing vitamin B shots who and they were sharing uh decker no good ever comes out of we were sharing a needle right even if it's vitamin nobody we saved 29 cents nobody nobody fucking nobody fucking that's like you know listen man when you're at that level of a guy and that type of gym situation think about you and i have never been that guy but they're guys that you know how people smoke a joint in rocky the other day i'm watching the beginning of rock he goes to the corner, there's 18 guys sharing a wine bottle, and he takes the wine bottle, he takes a sip of it.

[487] I'm thinking to myself, that's fucking the flu.

[488] But in those days, in those days, you had to do that to be part of a guy.

[489] You're in a gym.

[490] You're all yoked up.

[491] You're 5 '10.

[492] You're 240 pounds.

[493] Red band shoots Decker.

[494] Red band.

[495] Give me the fucking thing.

[496] You know, that's part of it from them and stick it in your.

[497] It's not my game, but I could see it.

[498] I get it.

[499] I could see it.

[500] That's the bond.

[501] Me and you are on the street with thieves.

[502] We're living in Skid Row With thieves, you and me Everything we fucking take We split down in the middle What do you think is gonna happen after a year?

[503] Sex We're gonna go on that too You know, that too Remember those fucking Clint Eastwood movies For the Indians They'd cut their hands They'd cut their hands They put the blood together Blood brothers This is it bro This is I could see two guys Shooting the needle Me and you We're not in that world And Red Band were like Ew You know But to some guy Look at my bicep dude What's a guy that said What's do you in person, my favorite impersonation you do?

[504] The guy in Boston, that would he give you night, night time with the jab?

[505] Remember the guy in Boston and South East?

[506] This guy, you know.

[507] Oh, Joe Lake?

[508] I hit you with my left.

[509] I hear you with my left.

[510] This is night, night time.

[511] I knew a dude in high school that was doing steroids.

[512] Yeah.

[513] He was enormous.

[514] He was so much bigger than everybody else.

[515] It was crazy.

[516] He came from another school when we were like, I think I was a, I guess I was like a freshman, and he was like, he came in as a sophomore.

[517] He was like a year older than me. And he was giant with these crazy stretch marks.

[518] We're talking about a 16 -year -old kid, 17 -year -old kid, massive stretch marks all over his chest with these watermelon tits.

[519] He just had watermelon tits, a giant fucking giant arms.

[520] I mean, literally the guy would walk his arms like, you know, guys, fake that.

[521] This is really how he stood.

[522] I mean, just it was massively muscular.

[523] and he went to a party one night in college.

[524] There was these college kids and some college kids mouthed off to him.

[525] He knocked out three college kids.

[526] He was like a bull.

[527] He would just charge at people and punched him.

[528] He was so juiced up.

[529] He was always angry.

[530] Like everywhere, if you looked at him, like, you wanted to be, like, real nice to him.

[531] It was like being around a crazy, like, a frothing at the mouth gorilla.

[532] Then I saw him years, years later.

[533] Like, not that many years.

[534] Like, I was like 21.

[535] So he was probably like 22, and he weighed 160 pounds.

[536] I was like, what the fuck happened?

[537] What happens?

[538] Just got off the stuff.

[539] He just got off of it, and his body became like a normal size body.

[540] So do you lose all your fluid, or you lose your muscle also?

[541] Well, he was never, he's a weird guy.

[542] Like, he didn't have big hands.

[543] He wasn't like some Ernie Shavers dude, like a, you know, just a big, like you.

[544] Like you, your big fucking thick guy.

[545] He wasn't, you know, that's smaller hands.

[546] It was just, it was all steroids.

[547] He'd just taking this thing and changed like the amount of muscle that his body would carry around.

[548] It was just way more.

[549] It was real weird.

[550] I didn't know what the fuck he was doing until after I was out of high school.

[551] I had no idea what was going on.

[552] I just thought he was just a big, strong guy.

[553] Like I wasn't in weightlifting.

[554] I didn't play football.

[555] And in Taekwondo, we didn't do any weightlifting.

[556] Like, no. We did like some calisthenics, but there was no weightlifting at all.

[557] So I had no idea, like what the fuck was going on with this dude's body.

[558] but seeing him when I was 21 and seeing him like just like this deflated person I was like this is the weirdest shit I've ever seen in my life but back then no one knew what the fuck it was we're talking about like 1988 it was when I was 21 I didn't know what that meant I didn't understand how he got smaller like it didn't make any sense to me like I didn't know anybody that was a bodybuilder or anything so it was just weird it was just weird to see him small and then as I got older and started talking to people like especially when I was working at uh uh I was working at a gold gym or Nautilus Plus, that's what it was.

[559] Nautilus Plus in Revere.

[560] And I knew this dude in there who was a, he was a bodybuilder.

[561] And he kind of schooled me on some of it.

[562] I go, because he was huge.

[563] And I go, do you take steroids?

[564] And he goes, dude, fucking look at me. What do you think?

[565] Of course I fucking take steroids.

[566] He was the first guy I ever met that was like super open about it.

[567] He had these like, he would wear like those Daisy Duke shorts.

[568] Back then, bodybuilders would wear those Daisy Duke shorts.

[569] And this kid had these fucking.

[570] giant tanned legs.

[571] They were enormous.

[572] Tanned legs.

[573] He was fucking huge.

[574] I hope that look comes back.

[575] Male Dazey Dukes?

[576] It's not even coming back for girls.

[577] It's over.

[578] Do you think there is certain clothes like that that will never come back?

[579] Bell bottoms.

[580] Bell bottoms?

[581] I can see Bell bottoms.

[582] They tried.

[583] They tried, but people realize it's stupid looking.

[584] I rocked them.

[585] Yeah.

[586] You know what?

[587] It worked back when people had long collars.

[588] See, that's the difference.

[589] If you want to have those long collars that they had in the 60s, you know like those those crazy jackets that you see like jefferson starship in those and then you had platforms people were wearing platform shoes remember those so like those all worked with the bell bottom right but you get to like flip flops and bell bottoms flip flops it gets annoying you're stepping on your bell bottoms they're goofy they get in the way you need stilts you know what's really sad about juicing that people that juice for uh what do you call aesthetics.

[590] Not because they're athletic, but the aesthetics.

[591] The further look.

[592] It always ends up very bad because, and I was around and I grew up around it, it becomes instead of snoring, coke or drinking, they go to steroids like that.

[593] Like the other wrestler, it was on.

[594] And there's one scene in the wrestling, yeah, and he goes to cop.

[595] Did you see what he copped?

[596] I didn't see that movie.

[597] Okay, there's a part when he cops at the gym.

[598] You know, he's copping fucking shit that they gave Nazis.

[599] Like, you know, DECA, D -ball, this, that, And you could tell it's like $2 ,000.

[600] And he goes, what do you got right now?

[601] And he goes, you give me the rest of it.

[602] It was a bag.

[603] If you know that world, you know that for him, that's a six -week supply.

[604] That's a year supply.

[605] Then when he has his heart attack in the movie, the doctor tells him, he goes, bro, what the fuck you put in your body?

[606] So are you fucking kidding me?

[607] It's a slow debt because it becomes an addiction.

[608] I saw it.

[609] I saw it go from once every six weeks to four cycles a year.

[610] to fuck it, I ain't getting off it to fuck it, I'm gonna super stack, they call it stacking when the next thing you know you're taking fucking four things and you're not competing you're just going to a bar on Friday nights I never got that in my head I never got that and it always ends bad you see those guys a year later they have a heart attack they get deflated something happens and they go to prison and then they can't do it and they come out and you ask them with the tattoos all fucked up now it's always It always ends bad.

[611] Yeah, I knew a guy who died.

[612] Yes, it always, and people, you know, I watched that documentary, and we contacted each other about talking, the steroid one, that doesn't harm you.

[613] And I believe that.

[614] Yeah, I believe that.

[615] But I also believe that I saw, you know, you look at these guys down the Jersey show, right?

[616] You look at these guys in the jerseysp, they all got that little bicep, they got time to go to the gym.

[617] They do six curls, they do a fucking anavar, they go suntan, they rub.

[618] Number fucking SPF number two, and that's the result you get.

[619] And they do sit -ups.

[620] That's exactly what they do, and they do diamond push -ups.

[621] And they blow up for the summer, and then they like it.

[622] I'm telling you, I was part of that crew.

[623] My friends, I remember the Chaddick driving back from the shore on Sundays, how they couldn't wait to get home because it was their second rest day.

[624] And today was going to be the biggest day.

[625] I'm thinking of going home, taking a shower and going out, because I'm huge.

[626] I'm huge today.

[627] It's Sunday.

[628] It's my second off day.

[629] Because he keeps getting bigger.

[630] Yeah, on your second off day, Sunday, you're the biggest.

[631] So these guys on the way home, it's my off day, I'm going to get some pussy tonight.

[632] My veins, look at my bicep from just driving.

[633] Fucking hilarious.

[634] It becomes something else, man. You know what I think it's like?

[635] I think it's like alcohol.

[636] Like, you could drink alcohol.

[637] You could just have a beer a night.

[638] You could have a couple of glasses of wine with dinner.

[639] Or you could be that motherfucker that just gets hammered all day, every day.

[640] day and we all know that person we all have met a bunch of those people some people just get addicted to shit day drinkers oh man there's a lot of those out there especially in the entertainment business you know we can do whatever the fuck you want and nobody can tell you what to do nobody tells you what to do that's why you're on periscope all day it's also people that i think that that do cocaine right that that that have an addiction to cocaine drink all day because they can even their their self out supposedly some people that uh do you know i've never done it but the people that have done like a lot of it will tell you that they always want to have something to calm them down afterwards take the edge off of it i didn't snort in the daytime i wasn't a fucking vampire i snorted at night it would fuck my whole day up if i even did a line sometimes see i wanted to have the coke ready at eight o 'clock but sometimes i got a gavone i'd have the 60 bucks early in the daytime and i'd shoot over and get a gavone a fucking slob i'd go over there and and take the 60, and then I'd have to hide it in my jacket, and I'd have to sit there for four hours with just coke and my jacket calling me in the afternoon.

[641] So I would do a little bump and then get paranoid and jerk off, and then it would fuck up my timing at night.

[642] It would fuck up my whole day, so I wouldn't do it in the daytime.

[643] I was always a nighttime guy.

[644] So if you did Coke during the day, it would fuck up your set?

[645] Everything.

[646] It fucked up everything.

[647] The rest of my day, my timing, because my soul wasn't intact with my central nervous system.

[648] They were apart now.

[649] It's apart.

[650] You do blow and you go on stage.

[651] That's why I never understood that concert.

[652] It always made me laugh when people go, oh, you're funny because you do Coke and go on stage.

[653] Okay.

[654] Okay, you're fucking dummy.

[655] I would freeze up.

[656] I freeze up.

[657] I can't talk to people when I did blow.

[658] That's why I went in my fucking room and hit and fucking turn the phone off.

[659] You think I did that because I couldn't talk to people.

[660] So I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

[661] Isn't Coke make you talk, though?

[662] It doesn't, that doesn't...

[663] When it started, you're chatty -cathy.

[664] You want to talk to everybody.

[665] and shit yeah but let me tell you something I started doing coke like in the 80s and I got on stage in 91 for the first time and in 92 I got on stage with the guys from Denver to the St. Patty's show and right there was the first time I discovered cocaine in the stage at the bolder broker I did two bumps and tried to go on stage and be cute that shit didn't work I thought Richard Pry did it I thought that's what Richard Pry did he did he did coke and went on stage so I tried it that didn't work that was a capoots Is anybody known to do coke and go on stage?

[666] Oh, fuck yeah, fuck yeah.

[667] I think a lot of people do coke and go on stage.

[668] And in Miami, I would do the first two shows.

[669] Soba, but the third show, it takes a bull.

[670] I had that Coke in my pocket for four hours.

[671] Enough is enough.

[672] Enough is enough.

[673] So you would do it before the third show?

[674] Yeah, because I didn't care.

[675] Terrible.

[676] Terrible, terrible, terrible.

[677] I didn't care.

[678] They knew I was coked up.

[679] Wow.

[680] So they knew.

[681] The people who were coked up knew, and they loved it.

[682] Oh, look at the music, and I thought it was cute, too, so I went back to my room and got fucked up, but no, it doesn't, never clicked to me. I could get stoned as a motherfucker and go on stage.

[683] Red band, you miss Friday night.

[684] I know.

[685] I heard about this.

[686] You heard Friday night how I fucking almost had a nervous breakdown at the Comedy Store.

[687] Did he tell you?

[688] And I almost had a nerve.

[689] Remember when you and your wife were asking me questions and I was fidgety?

[690] I was having a nervous breakdown right there, too.

[691] You think I'm fucking with you guys, Doug?

[692] I don't know what.

[693] happened to me Friday night.

[694] I bombed so hard last week.

[695] You know, sometimes you get in a transition period, and you got all these bits that aren't ready, and you bring them up, and it's like you've got three of them.

[696] So you bomb for two weeks, but all of a sudden one night they all come together.

[697] Now you become a force.

[698] Now it's a different game.

[699] I was in that process.

[700] For like two weeks, I was in limbo.

[701] I had good sets in Boston, but anything I tried out of the ordinary in Boston wasn't clicking for me. So I just stuck to the fucking original.

[702] And then I came back to the comedy store.

[703] I ate shit somewhere on Monday night.

[704] I went to the comedy store Thursday.

[705] They opened up with that suicide joke.

[706] That didn't take me very far.

[707] And then the second time I told the story about my friend who tried to commit suicide.

[708] She failed, and she went up to the comedy store, and she bought a gram of Coke from Chewy.

[709] And as we were doing it, I said, you know, how did you get out of the crazy house?

[710] Didn't you try to kill yourself three days ago?

[711] And there was a big gram.

[712] It was one big line.

[713] She did the whole thing.

[714] She looked at me and she goes, I ain't crazy.

[715] They let me out.

[716] That was it.

[717] told that story, and that one got some last.

[718] And then I went in the rain, in the main room, and I just died.

[719] I had to follow Delia.

[720] I just died.

[721] I just died of slow death.

[722] I was trying new stuff.

[723] I wasn't going nowhere.

[724] I wanted to talk about Trump.

[725] And I just died.

[726] So Friday, I went to the store.

[727] And I swear to God, guys, I didn't eat nothing all day.

[728] I smoked some pot.

[729] I worked out.

[730] I went to the Y. I did chest and the other thing.

[731] I smoked dope.

[732] Before I left the house, there was a little brownie.

[733] a 70 milligram brownie I had like maybe 13 carbs left of the day I was fucking starving this little brownie is right there it was a half a pack of an anarchy edible they give you two brownies each at each brownie is 70 milligram that's so crazy that's so scary I rub my balls the 70 milligrams you understand me 70 milligrams for Uncle Joey is like an apathist like an aparthefe it's not even a fucking appetizer but explain to the rest of the world 70 milligrams will put you into a fucking hole Do you know I gave me 500 last night He'd puke We split it up Jesus Christ Did you say 500 milligrams?

[734] We split a thousand milligrams Edible Did you hear that Allison chain song Down in a hole?

[735] Oh my God Listen to me Doug We split it at three o 'clock In the afternoon Oh my God What are you trying to prove?

[736] By 7 o 'clock I was so fucked up By 8 o 'clock And you know usually when you eat You tame that animal Fuck no This turned on me This edible turned on me dog Like a savage He beat me into submissions At one point I had the cheese doodles That belongs to the baby Pirates booty They were on the floor They were just coming out of my face I was just stuffing I was just stuffing Pirates booty in my face And a pair There was a bunch of fruit And Pirates booty I could stop I kept eating peaches And Pirates booty Pairs and Pirates booty Cattlelope and Pirates booty I must ate the whole baby My wife was like Because I had my back turn to them So they couldn't see me My wife's like What the fuck are you doing in here?

[737] I go listen I got to go to bed She goes go to bed already I went to bed at 845 I slept door 4 I got up I didn't know where I was I just laid there for 30 minutes Like Mad Max I just laid there all computer So you woke at 4 in the morning You didn't know where you were?

[738] So low 4 .30, I woke up with a ton of energy.

[739] Tart of energy.

[740] I went in the shower.

[741] I washed the car.

[742] I went for breakfast.

[743] I went and washed the car.

[744] My wife had to have a bug of tar stains.

[745] Oh, my God.

[746] Oh, my God.

[747] I was fucked up.

[748] And I kept calling Lee.

[749] And saying, Lee, if the cops call you, don't answer the phone.

[750] He goes, why have the cops on the call?

[751] I don't know, but don't answer.

[752] That is so funny.

[753] And you just had to happen to you again, though.

[754] You ate too much at the comedy.

[755] But last night, no. Last night I didn't have anxiety.

[756] Guys, this is what I'm saying to you.

[757] 70 milligrams ain't dick in my world, okay?

[758] So I eat the 70 milligrams.

[759] I go down Laurel Canyon, I hook the right, I go to the comedy store, I pull up, no drama.

[760] I get in, Joe's upstairs, I don't even go upstairs because I know the room is packed, I can't go upstairs.

[761] So I'm alone at the comedy store.

[762] I go into the original room, it's packed.

[763] I walk around a little bit, I go into the VIP patio, and I just sit there.

[764] Some dudes are listening to music, some black dude with smoking a joint.

[765] I mind my business.

[766] I look straight ahead.

[767] I'm thinking about more material I'm going to say, how I bombed.

[768] It's just whipping me now, right?

[769] And I'm starting to get scared.

[770] I'm like, I really don't want to go on stage.

[771] Jeff comes over to me and he goes, Joey, go on stage.

[772] I walk over as I walk up the stairs.

[773] It's a sold -out room.

[774] Megan Mooney?

[775] Morgan Murphy's up on stage.

[776] Fucking, fucking.

[777] I don't know what her fucking name is.

[778] That's her new name.

[779] She had a hat on it.

[780] That's her new name.

[781] And she was killing her.

[782] I'm texting her right now.

[783] She was fucking.

[784] killing, right?

[785] She's killing, Megan Moofin, whatever fucking name is.

[786] Morgan Murphy.

[787] She brought the dog up, she was freaking me out, and then she's killing on stage.

[788] I walk up to the first landing guys, and it hits me. It's like, oh my God, I'm getting anxiety attack.

[789] On 70 milligrams, not, not.

[790] This can't be happening to me. This ain't happening.

[791] And all of a sudden, I'm standing there, and it's getting worse, guys.

[792] It's getting worse.

[793] Now, there's one seat open at the whole comedy store, and it's the Mitzie's chair.

[794] So I sit in there for about a minute.

[795] She's got the blue light on.

[796] The pressure is on.

[797] I got water in my hand.

[798] I get back up, and it's getting worse, guys.

[799] I turn around.

[800] I look down to where the pay phone used to be, and now I'm getting the anxiety I get when I'm getting the needle, which means I'm going down.

[801] So I got to look for daylight or air.

[802] I know this.

[803] I got to look for air, but I know if I go down those stairs, if she calls my name and I come back up those stairs, I'm really going to have an anxiety attack.

[804] So I go to the corner and I just start looking at the wall and I start breathing through my nose and some guy comes up to me he's like hey Joey how you doing man what's going on I go nothing I keep looking at the wall he gets the hint to walk away then some other guy pops out he's like hey Joey I'm friends with such and says like he goes do you know where he is I don't give a fuck don't you see me staring at a fucking walk get the fuck out of here Jeff comes up to me and I go Jeff hold on one second Jeff I'm gonna faint I got a really bad anxiety attack I'm going down here tell Pauli to go on stage and Jeff also wants to ask me questions He's like, do you know if Paul he's going to go up on stage?

[805] I don't give a fuck.

[806] He's the closest person to the fucking stage.

[807] She's about to call my name.

[808] And all of a sudden he goes, well, let me go ask him.

[809] They're fucking go ask him.

[810] What the fuck?

[811] I'm about the fucking faint.

[812] And now you're going to do this to me. So he walks over to Paulie and he starts asking Paulie and Paulie's like, and now they're getting into like a conversation about it.

[813] Instead of Paulie going on, he's getting anxiety attack, let me go up there.

[814] I'm watching this go down.

[815] I get so angered.

[816] I go, fuck it, guys.

[817] What did Paul say?

[818] Who the fuck knows what he said?

[819] It's wrong with him, boy.

[820] Instead of going, just going, if I call you and go, Red Band, go up.

[821] Red Band, go up, Red Band.

[822] I got up anxiety.

[823] You go, okay, Joey, and I'll worry about you later.

[824] You okay?

[825] Yeah.

[826] Just go.

[827] No, these guys are having a conversation, bureaucracy.

[828] I got so fucking anger that I go, fuck you guys.

[829] I'm going to go up.

[830] And I went up there, Joe Rogan, and I had to set up my life off of fear.

[831] Fear.

[832] I think I caught myself at the 14 -minute mark.

[833] And I was like, I just yelled.

[834] Did you record it?

[835] No, why would I do something like that?

[836] I'm a fucking retard.

[837] I fucking went up there and destroyed.

[838] You know, you never hear me talking like this.

[839] It was all unfair.

[840] And I remember walking out of there, man, I got in that car, and Paulie goes, man, you should have anxiety attacks more often than shit.

[841] I was like, man, I was fucking dying.

[842] I like how you have Mitzie's voice when you do the impression of Paul.

[843] What the fuck knows?

[844] That's the same voice you do when you do Mitzie.

[845] Like all the shores share one, Joey Diaz's voice.

[846] Joe, have you ever had that where you were like either too stone or you just didn't feel good and you're about to go on stage and you almost couldn't, you almost don't think you could have done it?

[847] No, I know what you're saying.

[848] No, I've never gotten there.

[849] But I don't, I won't take that kind of edible before I go on stage.

[850] I've fucked up and gotten too high before I went on stage, but never so high where I'm like, I can't do this.

[851] I can't do that.

[852] I'm having anxiety attack.

[853] No. But I've been higher.

[854] I've been higher and that hasn't happened to me. Sometimes it just catches you in the right time, especially if you have a rough set.

[855] If you had a rough set the night before, if you're working on some new stuff and it doesn't go over right and you can't recover, I mean, we've all been there.

[856] If you haven't been there, it's just because you haven't taken enough chances.

[857] Oh, I've been there all the time.

[858] I'm there all the time.

[859] I'm there all the time.

[860] It's just.

[861] But it's like those moments after that are shaky.

[862] Like, you know, it's a shaky one or two days, you know, sometimes.

[863] Sometimes it's not.

[864] Like, sometimes it makes sense and there's a reason.

[865] You can just get right back into it.

[866] But sometimes there's like a little shaky period.

[867] So the shaky period, that 70 milligrams was enough to whack you.

[868] You did two 70s.

[869] No, I did one 70s.

[870] The other 70 was from a couple nights early.

[871] Just for the fucking general public, 70 will fucking send you down a tornado of despair to the bottom pits of your soul.

[872] Just to know.

[873] Don't try to do what he's doing.

[874] Like I won't fuck around, man, with anything more than like 30.

[875] Do you think that even matters what it is, though, really?

[876] Do you think it's that accurate where 70 is, even ballpark 70, or maybe he just got something that had 600 in because it was like the bottom of the barrel?

[877] Well, you certainly can.

[878] You know that bit I do about it, about the guys who make that stuff.

[879] But has it gotten any better, like accuracy?

[880] Sure, Colorado, they have it down to a science.

[881] They're doing it in Colorado the way they would make regular cookies.

[882] Like if you buy like some bit, you know, like Nabisco, Chips O 'Hoy or some shit like that, they do them in like a factory.

[883] There's not much difference in the way they're making some of these cookies.

[884] They're having, like, these big machines, and they have all these people working there.

[885] It's pretty fucking down to a science.

[886] They're not just, you know, throwing their own ingredients in and home cooking, all this stuff.

[887] They're making a lot of money.

[888] They had this, like, one of those news report shows.

[889] Forget which one.

[890] Sixteen minutes.

[891] Was it 60 minutes?

[892] They went to Denver, and they participated.

[893] They got high.

[894] They got high in a fucking limo with these people.

[895] And they went around to all these different places and watched these people make these things.

[896] that play there's a revolution going on in denver like it's so off the charts there it's so crazy there they're watching this thing on television it just starts to sink in like they're changing the whole culture around that town like the whole culture is going to slowly chill out their violent crime rate is so low now they're fucking drunk driving rates are the lowest they've ever had it's nuts it's changing everything it's only been a year year or two.

[897] Like, how many years has it been since it's been legal?

[898] What's the official?

[899] Maybe two years.

[900] Two?

[901] Is it been two, Jamie?

[902] Find out when the law went through.

[903] But in Oregon, they're going to have weed tax free.

[904] Oregon's taking it to a totally new level.

[905] Well, Washington just, I just saw it read a report that Washington had, like, I think, $70 million their first year of tax revenue.

[906] So that seems like a lot of money just to throw away.

[907] Well, I agree with you.

[908] I think the taxes that the Colorado imposes, which are really high, I think those are great.

[909] Yeah, I agree.

[910] Because it's still better than going drinking.

[911] If you go drinking, okay, if we have a few drinks, like if I go and get us around and all four of us went out drinking, and I look at these kids, shots in a beer, and that's like a hundred bucks, right?

[912] All together, then you've got to tip the guy.

[913] Like, 200 bucks worth of weed?

[914] Jesus Christ!

[915] The four of us with 200 bucks for the weed, we'd be fucked for a month.

[916] And we could take home some.

[917] Yeah.

[918] $200.

[919] That's a lot of weed, especially if you're buying edibles.

[920] Oh, my God.

[921] You could almost die on $200 worth of weed edibles.

[922] I mean, if you ate them all?

[923] Beginning of last year.

[924] Beginning of last year.

[925] So they, 2012?

[926] Voted at the end of 2012 and started at the beginning of 2014.

[927] Oh, I see.

[928] I see.

[929] So there's a delay.

[930] That is one of the, I got to be honest for you.

[931] That is one of the funnest four days you'll have.

[932] as a comic is that Denver run.

[933] Oh, Denver is a mean?

[934] Especially if you stay downtown because you eat at Sam's, that motherfucking green chili for breakfast with those two eggs and some wheat toast and a bowl of fruit.

[935] God, damn.

[936] Jesus.

[937] Oh, my God.

[938] I thought you were going to talk about the crowds.

[939] No. Oh, no, that's part of it.

[940] You got the weed store and then you got the comedy work.

[941] I mean, it's like a three, you can't lose for three days.

[942] I got the gym.

[943] You cannot lose.

[944] It's a triple fucking head of the little weed store they got.

[945] They go on the recreational side.

[946] They have some strong stuff but yeah it's a great spot it's a great little week it's one of my favorite places it's one of the few places i would live besides here i'll tell you what you made me laugh because i thought about something red band you know what pill when i was growing up had a lot of mistakes with them what pill like if they made a hundred of them 10 of them would always be duds quailudes really 10 of them were always duds were they duds because it was corruption no they were duds because the guy who was making him his his floor was laubes You know what I'm saying?

[947] And when he put him in the oven, who the fuck knows, Joe Rogan?

[948] I don't fucking know.

[949] He was lopsided.

[950] You know, like right now, this table feels like it's a little war, right?

[951] So the chemicals go down to the end.

[952] So, like, for every hundred.

[953] That's the most ridiculous idea of Hillary pills ever.

[954] Tables are lopsided.

[955] So let's just say the power goes to this side.

[956] So you need ten biscuits and nothing would happen.

[957] And then people would go, oh my God, I got a dud.

[958] That means the next one's going to be good.

[959] That was the philosophy around it.

[960] But there's a different philosophy to it.

[961] What if Cosby gave one of those duds to one of his freaks?

[962] Did you see yesterday?

[963] He walked away loose.

[964] And it was a dund.

[965] He's sitting there stroking his big black dick waiting on them pills to hit her and shit.

[966] Oh, my God.

[967] That's a great bit.

[968] That's it.

[969] What do you think that, like, he could get late.

[970] He could have probably almost any of the girls he wanted to drug anyways, probably.

[971] Why did, do you think he did that extra step?

[972] It's part of his freak.

[973] I mean, we could speculate all day long, but obviously he's sick.

[974] Right.

[975] But we kind of knew that anyway.

[976] Not that he was sick to the extent that he is, but that he's got this, like, creepy arrogance about him.

[977] And, you know, we played that clip once, or Wanda Sykes, who's like the sweetest person in the world, was interviewing him.

[978] and the way she was talking to him, I guess, like, he didn't like it, so he, like, corrected her.

[979] He corrected her, you know, her use of ebonics or what have you.

[980] It's like a drama queen, kind of.

[981] Just not a nice guy.

[982] Just not a nice guy, and he was wearing sunglasses.

[983] Like, he's just, you know, and when you're indoors, you're wearing sunglasses, like, unless you got glaucoma, what the fuck you're doing?

[984] Like, what are you doing?

[985] Why do you have sunglasses on?

[986] Unless you're black.

[987] You get away with it.

[988] Floyd made way to wear sunglasses.

[989] whatever the fuck he wants as far as i'm concerned he can wear sunglasses anywhere he wants but you know it's like those anybody who does that like you know what i mean it's just weird because i can see where like a normal person would drug it just to get laid it just seems like you know you're built fucking cosby he's a creep did he like the girl just being passed out like it's dry he might he might like to be the god he might like to be totally in control their life he might like the idea that he tricked them.

[990] And now they have to do his bidding while they're completely unconscious.

[991] I don't know how unconscious they are.

[992] Maybe they're in like a halfway dreamland where he could talk to him and they're doing stuff.

[993] You know, like lift your legs up and they'll just do it.

[994] And they just don't remember it.

[995] They might just be so fucked up.

[996] I don't understand.

[997] Can I talk to you gentlemen?

[998] There's four of us in this room.

[999] We're all men here.

[1000] How many years have had an experience?

[1001] I mean, maybe fucking red band.

[1002] But how many years have had an experience where you brought a woman to your room and nothing happened?

[1003] Look me in the eye.

[1004] Tell me the truth, gentlemen.

[1005] It happens.

[1006] Okay, so if that's, that's, let's just, with four gentlemen here, let's be honest.

[1007] So we're at 80%.

[1008] If you bring a woman to your hotel room, eight out of ten times, you're going to fuck a guys.

[1009] Tell me the truth.

[1010] We're just guys sitting him taking a poll.

[1011] It depends.

[1012] It's probably.

[1013] Red band, you're a nice guy.

[1014] Yeah, sometimes you bring them over to get high and they get naked for you and put dildos in their pussy.

[1015] I'm talking about, you know, you're a nice guy.

[1016] Sometimes, you know, whatever.

[1017] It depends entirely on the individual.

[1018] On the intentions.

[1019] When you're a guy like Bill Cosby, he's a superstar, multi -multimate.

[1020] How many other women are going to go to his room without sucking his dick?

[1021] Let's be honest.

[1022] Not a whole lot of them.

[1023] All of them are going to go into that room, whether they're married or half of those bitches got a different story also.

[1024] Okay?

[1025] He drugged you because you were alone with him in a fucking room.

[1026] He had plans.

[1027] I'm not blaming them.

[1028] But we're men here.

[1029] We're men.

[1030] You know, when you go into a...

[1031] man's hotel room or his trailer you know what the fuck so he had time to put a pill into your thing he's a dirty motherfucker let's get that out of the way because he enjoys that faint woman yeah that woman that's half dead and you're like that's what he enjoys that's his freak some people steal bodies from cemetery some people want to get jerked off with their feet that was his freak I had a friend who was after a while he was doing a lot of friends and he said they would jerk him off with his feet because he was scared of the Hiv So he'd just have him jerk them off with his feet With their feet I wouldn't do that either That's just as worse Hooker feet Oh hook a dirty feet Concrete and sperm That shit don't mix But let's face it He took those women to his room And he could He has a real interesting take on this He had a real good take on this And there was another guy that got charged for Was it like Cilo Green guy Was giving girls ecstasy or something like that Yes See a little green was giving Molly And Eddie was talking about Like what it must be like To be like a really famous guy who's really rich, but you're also, like, maybe not the most attractive guy in the world, you know?

[1032] So, like, maybe some of them, they want to get to know you, but then when you want them to, like, be sexually attracted to you, it doesn't happen.

[1033] And so, if you're a creep, you start drugging them.

[1034] And that's what Eddie was proposing.

[1035] He was saying, like, maybe, like, he just got tired of them saying no, and he thought he was better than them and just dropped it in.

[1036] I forget exactly Eddie's words, but I hadn't considered it like that.

[1037] I hadn't thought about it like that.

[1038] Like maybe they're not all saying yes.

[1039] I mean, maybe it is a weird thing with them where it got like really frustrating and then he just decided to do it.

[1040] Or is it possible that maybe this was like a much more prevalent and accepted thing in the circles that he was running in in like the 1960s?

[1041] Is it possible that people like you would talk about people giving people a Mickey or he did a joke about Spanish fly?

[1042] You know that Spanish fly joke?

[1043] Is it possible that more people were doing this back then And we're just finding out about it now?

[1044] I don't know because I mean the slipping the Mickey thing was totally I mean and the Spanish fly thing was almost common like people talked about it almost like on the tonight show I think Bill Cosby talked about like you know and it seemed like it was more accepted but I'm just was it they weren't aware was it like but I know I don't know anybody who got like in the 60s or or 70s who got a Mickey slipped into them.

[1045] It's like, why was that such a common expression?

[1046] Charles Bronson never did it.

[1047] James Colbert never did it.

[1048] Steve McQueen never did it.

[1049] Fucking Bert Reynolds never did it.

[1050] Can you do me a favor of him?

[1051] I wanted to show Joe Rogan some.

[1052] Can you get me the beginning of the longest yard?

[1053] I want to show Joe Rogan how much times have changed.

[1054] You know what?

[1055] It's really dark.

[1056] There's something real dark about it.

[1057] Like you can imagine like what is, just what is, what's going on?

[1058] What is his essence?

[1059] You know, what is his soul?

[1060] Who he's doing that?

[1061] Was there a movie?

[1062] Was there a movie that made it look sexy back in the day?

[1063] Like a James Bond, like, oh, I got some Spanish fly.

[1064] It seems like I remember there was some kind of...

[1065] No, you know what there was a movie, though?

[1066] Animal House, where he had to decide whether or not to do the right thing or the wrong thing.

[1067] Remember, the lady blacked out?

[1068] The devil was on his shoulders, yes.

[1069] And the angel was saying, hey, you know, she's blacked out.

[1070] The devil was like, fuck her, suck her tits.

[1071] Fuck her.

[1072] And, you know, he couldn't figure out what to do.

[1073] Like, you could, you probably couldn't even do that movie today.

[1074] Yeah.

[1075] He could have a racer or should not rape her.

[1076] But as a joke, you can't.

[1077] I mean, it's one thing if this was a, you can obviously have a horrific rape scene if it's like a drama, right?

[1078] But if it's, it's a comedy and you're joking around about rape, you can't have that.

[1079] We, no one will accept that today.

[1080] What's the last rape scene that made uncomfortable?

[1081] It was one of those police with movies?

[1082] There's always rape scenes that make uncomfortable, but what I'm saying is that you couldn't have a joke about potentially raping a girl like animal house like you could have a you could have a horrible scene in a realistic show but where the devil's on your shoulder in a comedy going fucker fucker like whoa like that's uh i don't think you could do that today well watch this for a second jamie did you find it's in there it's in there opening scene from the original longest yard it's watch this you're gonna die you're gonna say they could not do this in a fucking movie and to top it he got linnett skinner on this is the original longest yard the first scene in the longest yard is so fucking off color that it could not be done today we just watched it by a mistake one day and we're like oh my god that's fucking bad really I never listen I ran in those circles and I'm gonna look you guys in the face I never heard of people spiking girls that would not be acceptable why it came from that would not be fucking acceptable Don't get me wrong I've gotten chicks Coked up to the gills to suck my dick But they're awake And I had an intention You know what I'm saying They felt bad the next day But they did the blow You do the devil You got to drink the cider You know what I'm saying If you do the devil Watch this guys This is just Crank it This is a terrible movie Watch this dog I told you not to touch My goddamn car You can't do that today He's like, I got He's shit, this is terrible Dude, this is so bad This is 1973 I can't believe how bad it is He's drinking in the car That's what people did back then Are you fucking kidding me?

[1083] Are you fucking kidding me?

[1084] Chewing gum Smiling Chewing gum while drinking What kind of shitbox is he driving though That's a Maserati in 1973 That's what a Maserati looked like That you just said Don't touch my mazorati That's hilarious Isn't that funny That could be like a cool car And the cops are now coming after him While he's drinking He throws him in the back seat This was burglows And the prime of his life guys He's outrunning the cops With his mazorati here This is hilarious They're in a go -car race That car is such a shitbox Look at it My dad had that car That's your dad had that car I think so I think he had the old one Giant big goofy American cars chasing it These cars handle so bad Pretty goddamn good chasing though Oh my guys are better I don't think This is so ridiculous Well timed Buy a car Jesus Christ God damn Boom Probably should call off the car chase Listen guys The car chases in those days Was so tough When you see that movie With McQueen And they're chasing them in San Francisco And that Mustang You're fucking That was so much Tough to drive that car Oh yeah That shit now today It's easy This is when you had to be a fucking monster Yeah these cars Are dog shit Like look how skinny his tires are.

[1085] You see how skinny those tires are?

[1086] There's like no traction on those fucking things.

[1087] They didn't fucking know.

[1088] The mechanical grip was nothing.

[1089] They didn't know.

[1090] Look at this guy.

[1091] Oh my goodness.

[1092] This bad motherfucker tearing shit up in this country in 73.

[1093] This is before cannibal run, right?

[1094] Yeah.

[1095] This is when he was still a fucking savage.

[1096] I like how the trunk magically closes again.

[1097] But watch this now.

[1098] He's still listening to the same song.

[1099] Fuck yeah.

[1100] He don't give, he hit rewind and shit on the 8 track.

[1101] Look at the cigarettes he smokes too He ain't fucking around guys This was him Again this is a different America This was him against Clint Eastwood Against Charles Bronson Against James Coburn You had to do this crazy type shit Smack bitches and shit To get attention Look at the pants he's got a car Off in the ocean Why did you do that Because he doesn't want them to catch him Don't you understand Brian No but how did he put the gas Back then the car's cars were dog shit You could just fucking Just press a button And he goes to the water.

[1102] Forward button.

[1103] Then he goes to the car wash. He goes to the bar and the cops come in and he's sitting there fucking hammed.

[1104] And they're like step away from the bar.

[1105] And the little guy goes, why did you throw a whole car in the ocean?

[1106] He goes, because it needed a car wash. Jamie, put on the chase scene from Bullet.

[1107] I watched Bullet this year.

[1108] I was up in Canada and it was on TV.

[1109] You got to sit there and go.

[1110] What the fuck were they thinking?

[1111] I watched it from the beginning to the end.

[1112] It was great.

[1113] What the fuck were they thinking?

[1114] Both are Steve McQueen, cop movie in San Francisco, and they have a crazy scene with a 68 Mustang, where McQueen is chasing this guy, this guy's chasing him in a Dodge Charger.

[1115] Oh, it's one of the all -time great car scenes.

[1116] Look at this shit.

[1117] The guy's got this gigantic Dodge Charger, and he's got this dope 68 Mustang, which for cars back then, handled really goddamn good.

[1118] I mean, that was a lightweight car, a good amount of power.

[1119] But, you know, they're drum brakes and shitty suspension.

[1120] And so these guys are driving around the corners In these cars Is it sped up?

[1121] It was like a bitty hill It is a little sped up, huh?

[1122] Look at this poor bat This is when you were a stunt man now This guy's in the hospital, fuck Tate This guy has to lay down This guy got a thousand stitches and shit That's when you fucking were a stuntman They didn't have pads or nothing You did it with wranglers on How much of Steve McCune's own driving did he do?

[1123] I don't know How much in the movie Because he's obviously doing some of it He could drive his ass off.

[1124] Yeah, he could drive his ass off.

[1125] He used to race.

[1126] He did, what was the name of the movie?

[1127] Lamonds.

[1128] Lamons.

[1129] He played Lamonts.

[1130] It's a great movie.

[1131] That's a great movie.

[1132] Yeah.

[1133] And it's another movie that for like 10 minutes.

[1134] Nobody says a word.

[1135] That's the thing about this chase scene.

[1136] One of the craziest things about it is how well orchestrated it is, how cool it is.

[1137] Look at that skinny ass bitch tires.

[1138] Joe Roggan, this would not work today.

[1139] People would walk out of this movie today.

[1140] They have no attention to me anymore.

[1141] Not me. But today, the attention span.

[1142] For a big -time movie, for sure.

[1143] People are used to these smash cuts, and they're used to MTV -style editing.

[1144] You know, like music videos are like the champions of, like, quick editing.

[1145] Eddie Bravo, again, explain that to me. He was talking to me about how they make music videos, if you ever notice.

[1146] They're constantly switching angles, constantly changing the way it looks.

[1147] He goes, you don't have a static image for, like, 60 seconds.

[1148] You know, like, someone's standing there.

[1149] He goes, that's really rare.

[1150] Most of the time, like, especially pop songs, they're constantly.

[1151] trying to move the image around to keep you interested in it.

[1152] But this movie, like, look, we're watching this guy load shells into his shotgun for like 20 seconds.

[1153] It's fucking, they set everything up in a different way.

[1154] At the beginning of the mechanic, there's not a word for the first 14 minutes.

[1155] He just watches the guy and sets him up.

[1156] Same thing.

[1157] You're sitting there going, what's going on in here?

[1158] Fucking up that Darge Charger.

[1159] Between this movie and the Dukes of Hazard, more people feel.

[1160] fucked up dodged chargers.

[1161] It hurts my soul.

[1162] I watched the Dukes of Hazard and watched that fucking car make a jump and watch the frame bend.

[1163] And then they just drive away.

[1164] And you know that the car that they jumped with is not the car they're driving with.

[1165] Well, they put a kid on it, correct?

[1166] Well, you know, they just got a bunch of them.

[1167] And they just broke a bunch of them.

[1168] But they did have some fake ones, too.

[1169] Like some other cars with like a charger body shell that they would sacrifice.

[1170] Well, Miami Vice, all those cars were just.

[1171] his kids.

[1172] Yeah, oh, for those Ferraris and stuff.

[1173] Don Johnson's was a kit.

[1174] That was a fucking testeroza.

[1175] Was it really?

[1176] It was a kit?

[1177] It wasn't a real testarosa?

[1178] No kidding.

[1179] Wow.

[1180] I've seen a Miata that somebody turned into a testarosa.

[1181] No, not a Miata, I'm sorry.

[1182] Fiero.

[1183] Remember those Fierro?

[1184] Ponteak Fiero?

[1185] My sister had well of those.

[1186] The trade in value on those was Ugats.

[1187] When you brought those back, they're like 800 people would crack right there like a statue.

[1188] I paid $8 .000.

[1189] Oh shit.

[1190] I forgot about that scene.

[1191] The guy loses the car and goes right into the gas station and it blows up.

[1192] Oh, you almost lost it.

[1193] Remember kit cars?

[1194] I almost got a kit car.

[1195] They still have them.

[1196] Did I?

[1197] I was looking in the back of one of those hot rod magazines and they had this kit car thing.

[1198] It was like not that much money either for the kit.

[1199] And you put it together yourself and you have to, I think you have to put an engine in it.

[1200] You have to do the whole thing.

[1201] But some people actually do that.

[1202] They actually build their own cars.

[1203] Yeah, it was my first car When I was 15 That was one of my options It was to get a Army kit car Where you could build your own army Jeep Yeah You get the jeeps with 250 bucks Yeah And put it on a different frame Or something crazy Yeah, it was advertised It was like back in comic books Yeah Yeah, yeah yeah I think there's a car I think it's called A Noble I think it's called But it's a car I think it's from England And they ship it over here It's this beautiful, crazy looking sports car They ship it over here With no engine And you have to get an engine put in it.

[1204] It's like so it's not really I mean it's it's it's it's it's they don't consider it a car when you buy it's and that's how they can sell it to you because it's not it's you know it doesn't have all the it doesn't pass all the regulations that you need you know how to do that is Mazurati Italian car?

[1205] Yes they had it when they were shipping cars over in the 70s they had to take the engines out and shit so the mafia couldn't steal the cars.

[1206] Really?

[1207] Yeah they also when they sent Italian shoes over after a while they would just send cargoes of right shoes and then cargoes with left shoes because like that they wouldn't get robbed that's hilarious they would rob the fucking you know the cars the fucking docks of the italian shoes well the docs have always been known as been like one of the the places for organized crime right on the waterfront with marlin brando my buddy joe lake that we were talking about he was a teamster he was a longshoreman and you know a longshoreman like that that whole world has always been like deprecated in movies as being like organized crime headquarters they meet down by the dooms Ducks, you know, there's always, like, people like that, you know, that are, like, the rough, hard tumble, hard scrabble, loan sharks, there's everything goes on there.

[1208] You can buy jackets.

[1209] Yeah.

[1210] Anything that comes off those, I have a friend till this day, I talked to him yesterday, still drives cars off the ships.

[1211] That's what he does for 11.

[1212] Wow.

[1213] So the ships come in with, like, Honda's and shit.

[1214] $42 ,000, $42 ,000 an hour plus overtime, since he was in high school.

[1215] Oh, this is what I was going to ask you earlier, but I didn't want to interrupt your story.

[1216] Well, the reason, why, do they grow heroin in other countries?

[1217] I don't even know if you know the answer to this.

[1218] But they grow it in other countries because they can't grow it here?

[1219] Or do they grow it in other countries because it's not financially viable here?

[1220] The poppy seed?

[1221] Well, listen, let me tell you something.

[1222] If any drug dealer could grow poppy seeds here and eliminate the travel, they would have done it by now.

[1223] But would they have?

[1224] What I'm thinking is...

[1225] Anybody who could cut that cost out and eliminate that whole fucking journey every time?

[1226] I think you need a lot of land.

[1227] I think it's one of those things that would be really hard to do indoors.

[1228] Because I think it's something that they do, like when they make heroin, you need a lot of land to make a smaller amount of heroin than you would think.

[1229] Poppy Cetus comes from, heroin comes from the poppy plant, correct?

[1230] And I think it's high out.

[1231] It's like coca leaves.

[1232] Why don't they grow coca leaves here?

[1233] Are you fucking kidding?

[1234] Yeah, that's exactly the same question.

[1235] Why don't they grow coca leaves here?

[1236] But I heard now that that's a big market now.

[1237] People are important coca leaves.

[1238] People in Beverly Hills now having coca leaves parties with cigars.

[1239] Well, you chew those cocoa leaves.

[1240] They're supposed to be great.

[1241] And you smoke a cigar and drink wine and people get fucked up.

[1242] That's the room, like 300 a leaf.

[1243] I don't know what the deal is.

[1244] I've never eaten no fucking leaves.

[1245] I would.

[1246] The people in the high altitude out in Peru, they have bags of these things.

[1247] They take with them.

[1248] It's really kind of freaky to watch.

[1249] They pack their mouths with it, and they have like a squirrel -sized lump on the side of their face, and they just chew these leaves.

[1250] I was fucking chewing tobacco, only cocoa leaves.

[1251] Except it's actually kind of healthy for you.

[1252] Yeah.

[1253] It's not bad for it.

[1254] Well, that's before you.

[1255] What was I?

[1256] There's a fucking new drug.

[1257] Did you see this, this crocodile?

[1258] Yeah, it's been a while round for a while.

[1259] What the fuck is this?

[1260] Where they take a dolata and they process it to something else?

[1261] They put two drugs in this, gasoline and red sulfur.

[1262] That should tell you right there.

[1263] That's not the drug for me. Right or wrong?

[1264] You put gasoline and then it eats the skin?

[1265] Yeah, it's causing necrosis.

[1266] How fucking how I could this get you?

[1267] I think it starts out when they just have like a little bit of, you know, like a bruised area or a fucked up area and then they just get hooked on shooting it in and they keep shooting in that spot and it keeps getting worse and worse and it's just not getting better and then it starts really going downhill and then they get super depressed and they keep shooting it in there.

[1268] I think it's a real bad drug, real dangerous, scary drug and apparently they're doing it when they can't get heroin.

[1269] You know, that's how a lot of it got started, but read online.

[1270] but the images, if they're correct, if those are real images, if people's bones poke down out of their skin.

[1271] That really is true.

[1272] That's spooky as fuck.

[1273] Like when your bones are exposed, you've got a problem.

[1274] It's a problem.

[1275] It's a real problem.

[1276] I used to snort Coke with a guy that while he was talking to you, he'd have to get the straw and then put like a paper clip in his nose because the skin had collapsed.

[1277] So we'd have to pick the skin up, put the dollar in there, and then snort it.

[1278] Oh, my God.

[1279] Oh, fuck me. And this was an 85 I can't now he's missing his nose Like he ain't even breathing no one That was an 80 fucking 5 Last time I snorted with that guy And he would have to pick up the wall from his nose Jamie find out why they don't grow cocaine in the United States Can you imagine that shit Someone on the message where it says it takes an acre of cocoa Leaves to make a kilo So they need like slave labor to collect and process Uh huh That does make some sense Listen brother they could do it here They would have done it here Trust them don't you They had the financing they've had the fucking money.

[1280] Right.

[1281] And that's something, they can't do it.

[1282] They could have hit it back then, right?

[1283] No, they can't do it.

[1284] There's a reason why they can't do it here.

[1285] It's about the altitude.

[1286] There's something in the soil.

[1287] There's some reason.

[1288] Both of those things.

[1289] If not, some drug dealer would have hired a chemist and said, bring it over here.

[1290] Some Chinese guy, okay, with tons of loot, would have got another genius Chinese guy 30 years ago and said, teach us how to grow this shit in Jersey.

[1291] And that's it.

[1292] It would have eliminated everything, but there's some reason why.

[1293] You know, you just can't.

[1294] They made synthetic heroin, yeah.

[1295] But you need that Chinese white shit.

[1296] On this coast, they have the Mexican that tar.

[1297] That shit you just shoot and you smoke.

[1298] But on the East Coast, that white powder is what the suburban kids like.

[1299] That's what the models get hooked on because it's two bumps.

[1300] And you're done.

[1301] You're done.

[1302] It's lights out.

[1303] Wow.

[1304] And now they're making it pure than ever.

[1305] it's it's you know because it's coming from afghanistan it's come you know this this this next war this last war when this started after 9 -11 this picked up heroin again it started coming in here again especially the detroit area detroit is not as fucked up as it is because you know it's fucked up it's because they just threw heroin in there they couldn't fucking handle it man and the same thing happened in newark new jersey it happened to a couple fucking areas i know about because i have friends that shoot fucking heroin and they tell you this and you're like hmm That's interesting that this happened at the 9 -11.

[1306] Wow.

[1307] So.

[1308] Well, I mean, the production of heroin has gone through the roof in Afghanistan.

[1309] Through the roof.

[1310] You know, and there's all sorts of reasons why they have excuses why they let them do it or why it's happening or why, you know, the Army helps them.

[1311] So pills are at their all -time highest and heroin's at their all -time highest?

[1312] Who's doing this shit?

[1313] But where are they making the pills from?

[1314] Do they need actual heroin to make those pills?

[1315] Do they need poppy seeds?

[1316] They need something.

[1317] Do they need poppies to make them?

[1318] Some of it is probably synthetic.

[1319] Yeah, it's probably all synthetic, right?

[1320] But what does that mean, though?

[1321] Like, where are they getting the compounds to put it together?

[1322] Like, what is it, where they come from?

[1323] I mean, they have to have, like, a raw version of something that turns into heroin, right?

[1324] I mean, when you say synthetic, it's not like you press a 3D printer and heroin comes out.

[1325] What, no, I mean?

[1326] You have to, there has to be things that they, like, a lot of pharmaceuticals.

[1327] We think of them as pharmaceuticals, but a lot of them, they're actually getting some of the chemicals from plants.

[1328] You know, that's one of the reasons why they mine the rainforest.

[1329] They're always looking for different plants that they can exploit and they can make pharmaceutical drugs out of.

[1330] It's kind of like, I remember when I was a hippie, a lot of people had synthetic peyote, and I don't know what that even means, but I think they just took the compounds, whatever makes, you know, real peyote and just recreate it in a lab somehow.

[1331] You know, it's like, isn't it like ingredients?

[1332] Well, there was a store that I read about Coca -Cola, because Coca -Cola uses real coca leaves.

[1333] Right.

[1334] Real coca leaves.

[1335] Still today?

[1336] Still today, they use real coca leaves, and they don't have cocaine in them anymore.

[1337] What they do is they get these coca leaves and they bring them to this medical cocaine supplying company.

[1338] That's right, and they take the coke out, sell that to New Jersey, a company in New Jersey, and they put it into pills and medicine.

[1339] You're right.

[1340] So that's all coming from coca leaves, which is really crazy.

[1341] Like you wouldn't have thought that.

[1342] You would have thought that, like synthetic cocaine or laticane or whatever the fuck it is that they're using, which whatever versions of medical grade cocaine that they use you would have thought somehow another that's coming from chemicals that's what we would think it's synthetic we always like to say shit like that but what does that mean like there's got to be like raw compounds that are used to make this stuff where are those coming from it's coming from the origin i think synthetic means they take some of the origin and they put other shit in it to match and they make it cheaper for you you know it's like when you go to the store now and you go hi i'm here to pick up my medication They go, well, we haven't wanted to ask you a question.

[1343] Do you want the original oxycontin, or do you want mellicotin, which is the same only made in Switzerland, but instead of $80, the prescription is $28.

[1344] Right.

[1345] So I shouldn't say synthetic heroin, synthetic opiates.

[1346] Where do synthetic opiates come from?

[1347] Derived from opium.

[1348] Well, there's a bunch that are derived from opium.

[1349] Wow, that's a fucking nutty list.

[1350] Morphine, codeine heroin.

[1351] T. Bain and Oropavine.

[1352] Huh.

[1353] I didn't know.

[1354] Codine.

[1355] Heroin.

[1356] Heroin and morphine.

[1357] How similar are they?

[1358] It's like the same.

[1359] Really?

[1360] That's what I've heard.

[1361] I mean, I don't use them, obviously, but I've heard.

[1362] That's true, then I've done heroin.

[1363] They're cousins.

[1364] They're like the gay cousin.

[1365] I was on a morphine drip.

[1366] Right.

[1367] When I got my, he operated on, my first time, it was amazing.

[1368] Oh, my God.

[1369] I kept hitting that button.

[1370] he hit the button whenever you want this is like 1993 they didn't regulate you so I was lying in this bed my knee was killing me and I'd hit that button and just it would be like NyQuil like taking NyQuil like clip clip that's probably what heroin's like mm -hmm it's pretty sweet let's do it so I've done it so there you go I've done heroin I didn't even think I did but then I remember that uh that one night that I had to stay in the hospital and I had my ACL reconstructed that's why they had me there and it was done with a pettel Patellotendin graft.

[1371] That's how they did it back then.

[1372] That was a good way to do it.

[1373] Sometimes they still do it that way today.

[1374] They were taking a chunk of bone off my knee and a chunk of bone off my shin and a sliver of my pettelotendin.

[1375] And then they open you up like a fish, screw this piece of meat, and use the bone piece that they cut out of the shin and the bone piece that they cut out of the kneecap and then they reconstruct a knee.

[1376] And it hurts like a motherfucker, dude.

[1377] Woo!

[1378] It's like like lightning bolts shooting.

[1379] Whenever you cut into bone and drills, like, it's the other one that I had done, I had done with a cadaver, like, way easier.

[1380] I mean, I mean, like, almost nothing.

[1381] Like, I went to, you know Matt Lichtenberg, I went to his birthday party five days after the operation, just walked.

[1382] I was fine.

[1383] Like, you know, I had a brace on it.

[1384] I didn't want to hurt myself, but I didn't need crutches.

[1385] I could get around.

[1386] Like, it's totally different than the Patelotendengraft.

[1387] Your leg blows up like a fucking balloon.

[1388] But I'm lying in bed, and they have me on this continuous.

[1389] motion machine from the moment you come out of the operating room they put you on the they don't want your leg to stiffen up because then it's really hard to get it to get moving again you know once you once you get really rigid you know the trauma sets in and it's really difficult to straighten your leg out so right away they have you on this thing it's like brum boom boom so not only you in agony but your leg is on this continual machine boom boom morphine is commonly related to is morphine sulfate heroin is diacetyl morphine.

[1390] That is heroin is simply morphine with an acetyl molecule attached.

[1391] Acidyl, acetyl, acetyl morph molecule attached.

[1392] So it's basically the same shit.

[1393] Yeah, and that molecule just is, so it does it faster.

[1394] Yeah, in terms of the effects, they're exactly the same.

[1395] And medically interchangeable, except for the dosage.

[1396] In fact, they are both converted to the same form of morphine when they get into the body.

[1397] Fascinating.

[1398] Thank you, young January.

[1399] It's all the, you know, when you had surgery or anything like, it's all, when they give you that shit.

[1400] They're giving you heroin.

[1401] Isn't that amazing?

[1402] They're giving you age, man. You know?

[1403] In a different form, it's not the street level, but it's a form of what you're getting high.

[1404] It's tremendous.

[1405] Who doesn't like that high?

[1406] My friend's mom had cancer, and, you know, she went through all the channels, and she was on her way out.

[1407] And she decided to go out on her own by taking all in morphine.

[1408] She just said, look, what a beautiful way to do it.

[1409] Just do it like this.

[1410] She took it all.

[1411] they were giving her something for pain and I guess you know she had enough to to stop the ticker and she just said it's enough enough she's like I'm wasting away she goes there's no hope like it's over like her body it was over it was like the last few days but that's how she decided to do it you got to respect that you know like the fact that's illegal you know I know it would be abused I know it could be abused by people that want to kill people you know oh my mom wanted to go you know you could you could run into those type of people that would actually kill remember to get some money from the will kill a wife you know those those kind of things but i think that it's still for someone who's dying man for your your mom or something like that when it's the last days and you got to watch her just in agony constantly with no light at the end of the tunnel you know she's 90 years old or whatever the hell she is like fuck man like you you gotta have a heart man that shit should be legal you should you should be able to do that in some places it is right it's legal in Oregon.

[1412] Like there was that one girl that was trying to do that.

[1413] She moved to Oregon.

[1414] Did she do it?

[1415] Yeah, she ended delaying it a couple of days and then she did it.

[1416] Yeah.

[1417] It's crazy shit, man. I think you got to be there to really make a decision on that one, you know.

[1418] Yeah.

[1419] They got to be there.

[1420] It's tough to just...

[1421] Some people get tired of fighting.

[1422] You know, you get tired of, you get weary from the illness, just draining you, and then the chemotherapy drains you sometimes even further, and it's hard.

[1423] You know, the last days.

[1424] What's amazing is how many people benefit from CBDs from marijuana and how few people are getting it.

[1425] You know, the more I read about this and the more I talk to people that have had it and talk to people that have loved ones that have tried it on cancer and had incredible results, and it just drives me nuts.

[1426] It's just so hard to believe that that stuff is still demonized, that people are still pretending that's one of the worst things that society can make legal.

[1427] Where if it only did that with cancer, forget about the getting high part.

[1428] If it only did that for cancer, do you know how magical that drug would be?

[1429] It's like it's got this creepy past.

[1430] It's like a stripper that wrote the most amazing book, but nobody wants to listen to it because she used to be a stripper.

[1431] You know, like, it's got, like, marijuana has this, like, seedy part to it.

[1432] And that seedy part keeps people from recognizing the textile use, the uses as a commodity, the use for making houses, the use for food.

[1433] Like, if it was just all those things and didn't get people high, It would be our all -time favorite plant.

[1434] It would be the number one plant in the world.

[1435] We would be using it all the time.

[1436] They say that this hemp crete, have you ever heard of hemp crete?

[1437] Have you ever heard of hemp concrete they make with hemp?

[1438] It's supposed to be like some of the most durable, lightweight, fire -resistant, insulation.

[1439] It's great insulated properties, insulation properties.

[1440] And it's made out of hemp.

[1441] And you can make it cheap.

[1442] You know, it doesn't cost a lot of money to grow hemp.

[1443] They just can't grow it.

[1444] You can't even get high from this shit.

[1445] I mean, it's really crazy if you stopped and thought about it.

[1446] If it was a plot in a movie, if there was something that was as powerful as the marijuana plant, it was something that had so many benefits, and it was somehow another that kept illegal, and somehow another, the propaganda kept people thinking that it would be one of the worst things for a society if they were to make this legal.

[1447] You would lose your fucking mind.

[1448] You would go, this movie's stupid.

[1449] Like, this movie's dumb.

[1450] People would riot.

[1451] They wouldn't, they wouldn't, come on.

[1452] You got something that cures epilepsy and kids.

[1453] Little kids that have epilepsy.

[1454] Have you seen any different fucking kids have benefited?

[1455] Johnny Rotten Yeah, our buddy Johnny His kid was having All sorts of seizures He moves up to Seattle He gets him on the medical marijuana program Boom Goes away It goes away It gets 100 times better And the kid starts communicating Changed his life Changed that kid's life Fuck man It's just weird It's one of the weirdest About being alive in 2015 Is that there's so many improvements going on There's so much fascinating shit happening in our culture And yet this one thing It's like this holdout This clawing thing that clings to the sard.

[1456] It's not that.

[1457] It's the people's reaction that gets me still.

[1458] Like, I'm the type of guy that, you know what, man?

[1459] I didn't eat sushi until 1995, but I came around.

[1460] You know, when I was in New York, fuck, you were raw fish.

[1461] You know what I'm saying?

[1462] Raw fish.

[1463] You know, what the fuck?

[1464] But then one day I came around.

[1465] I never said I hated sushi.

[1466] I just said it wasn't for me at the time.

[1467] Then you listen to a fucking moron like Governor Christie, who just aggravates me. It aggravates me that this guy is running for president.

[1468] This fucking year's president fucking list is horrible.

[1469] Thank God, I'm happy I got felonies.

[1470] You're happy, you can't.

[1471] You don't have to vote.

[1472] You're like, these motherfuckers, from the Cuban dude to Christy, we're in bad shape, though.

[1473] Christy's ridiculous.

[1474] We're in bad shape.

[1475] He's a ridiculous person.

[1476] He's a ridiculous person.

[1477] He's so ridiculous.

[1478] Oh, my God, I can't.

[1479] I'm so happy.

[1480] I don't live in Jersey, man. I'm so fucking happy.

[1481] But you know what?

[1482] He's so mocked.

[1483] I just, I can't imagine him ever.

[1484] And he's got that whole bridge thing, he's going to hold him back.

[1485] He's not going to get enough.

[1486] But what he will do in doing this is raise his public profile.

[1487] And maybe he's pretty good at debating.

[1488] He's pretty good at talking.

[1489] And maybe if he has these conversations in front of America, you know, the way he's been having him in New Jersey, maybe like in a big public forum, like presidential debates, it could be kind of interesting.

[1490] It could be interesting to hear him talk.

[1491] Because as moronic as he is, he's still a very good talker.

[1492] You know, he gets, I disagree with a lot.

[1493] of the shit that he says.

[1494] But I got to respect the fact that the guy knows how to communicate.

[1495] Sometimes that's all you need in this goofy -ass world.

[1496] Somebody writes you a good, juicy script.

[1497] You have a bunch of people behind you.

[1498] They give you a little makeover.

[1499] They tried to do that with them.

[1500] They got him on that fucking belly band.

[1501] But somehow or another, it didn't work.

[1502] Like, he's still big.

[1503] Right?

[1504] I mean, he did get on that, right?

[1505] Find out if he did that.

[1506] Because that's ridiculous.

[1507] There's the way I look at it.

[1508] I grew up in New Jersey.

[1509] I grew up in politicians' homes.

[1510] and I know that to be a politician in New Jersey somewhere along the line you got to take an envelope and when you're running for president it's pretty tough to take an envelope and people have to fucking raise their hand it's like Donald Trump when he raised his hand I could not believe it just on what he did in New York in the 80s you know if that guy even moves what did he do in New York in New York in New York in the 80s when he was building all those things.

[1511] Hold on to it.

[1512] Once the rant start going, don't pull it up.

[1513] When he, in the 80s, when he was doing all that developing, okay, he shut out.

[1514] Like, Rogan Construction.

[1515] Okay, Rogan Construction was started by your, I'm just making a name.

[1516] Right, okay.

[1517] Okay, he's, you know, Rogan Construction was a company started by your grandpa, Newark, and his two brothers, and then he hired their sons, and now they have 12 full -time employees and they've been putting along since 1948 doing new construction and houses and remodels but whatever they're keeping their lights on and all of some of the GC comes in who's a general contractor on this job who's somebody like fucking Trump and he hires people like Rogan Construction and search electric and who got's fucking plumbing and suck my dick concrete you know whatever the fuck the name of the company is Someone who make a t -shirt quickly.

[1518] And they would stiff them.

[1519] And all these companies went out of business.

[1520] All that construction he did in New York and New Jersey in the 80s was very suspect.

[1521] Number two, before he raised his hand, I hope, I hope that he's this intelligent.

[1522] Let me get that war to my brother.

[1523] I'm sorry to fuck up your little.

[1524] I hope that he called a congressman or a governor or somebody in Colorado.

[1525] And he said, how bury this Sammy the Bull Gravano?

[1526] Can he get to TMZ?

[1527] Can he get to a phone?

[1528] Because all those deals he had going on in the 80s, he was in bed with the mafia.

[1529] It doesn't take a fucking genius to tell you that.

[1530] Okay, a dumpster, the one that Johnny Reed fell in when he tried to commit suicide.

[1531] You know those dumpsters?

[1532] You guys see a square dumpster.

[1533] To get one in Colorado in 1987 was $200 for the day.

[1534] You know what that same dumpster was in New York in 1987?

[1535] $2 ,200.

[1536] That's how high the construction costs were.

[1537] Some of it were the mafia tax.

[1538] Well, there was a lot of organized crime.

[1539] Tons of organized crime.

[1540] So somewhere along the line, this Trump was in bed with organized crime.

[1541] Had to be.

[1542] Had to be.

[1543] Trump Plaza, Atlantic City.

[1544] Just look at the locations.

[1545] I never thought of this.

[1546] I always thought of this.

[1547] I always knew this idiot did not, could not raise his fucking hand.

[1548] And if anybody is smart, go to Sammy the Bull.

[1549] book, he talks about it not so many ways.

[1550] Really?

[1551] So I guarantee the feds have their files.

[1552] And as soon as this guy moves up a little bit, they're going to go, take a look at this.

[1553] This is Sammy the Bull told us.

[1554] How can we take care of this?

[1555] A donation to the fucking Abafungool Company or fucking blind kids, whatever the fuck it takes.

[1556] Because this guy was the major contractor in New York in the 80s.

[1557] All these small businesses, he put their light.

[1558] out.

[1559] You know how I know?

[1560] I'll tell you how I know for a fact.

[1561] When I got locked up, one of the conditions of me getting out was I had to get a job.

[1562] To alleviate the state of Colorado, my attorney came up with his paperwork.

[1563] Listen, if you let him out, he'll leave.

[1564] Not next week.

[1565] Not tomorrow.

[1566] We got a plane for him.

[1567] As soon as he gets out of your fucking jail, we'll take him out of New Jersey.

[1568] We'll get him back to New Jersey.

[1569] But to do all this, I had to have a promise of employment.

[1570] And I called around New Jersey and my friend's uncle, had a window door trim sash company you know all this shit for your door that's a sash on the bottom by the way and trim around your door and the door and and shades and they sold all that stuff and they had like an 11 man crew like six guys on phones so he goes if you want to go he made me send me the resume the guy's uncle and i called him we spoke on the phone and in fact i wrote the guy well i was in prison back and forth because he would tell me keep your head up you got a job when you get out, don't be down on yourself.

[1571] When I got out into the halfway house, I called.

[1572] And I said, hey, man, I got to sit in the halfway house for 90 days, but I'll be in Jersey by June.

[1573] He goes, I don't think I got high here.

[1574] We were working on this construction company, and we got stiffed.

[1575] It was that fucking guy, Trump, stiffed us, so we lost everything.

[1576] We had the investment in the, you know, these were high rises.

[1577] You had to pay for all those windows, and he's going to pay you.

[1578] You know, they might have got a deposit or something from the G. But not enough.

[1579] They got stiffed.

[1580] So he would just put them under.

[1581] Yeah, but he would go under, like, he would go to, he was the top builder, and he would go to Joe Rogan Construction, and he would put it all under your name.

[1582] So you went down, too.

[1583] Wow.

[1584] So he did all this.

[1585] He ruined fucking family businesses, and all of a sudden he has this short memory.

[1586] You know, when you run for president, they look at you with a fucking microscope.

[1587] And, you know, I don't know what happened with the birth certificate, and Obama's birth certificate.

[1588] I never paid attention.

[1589] But this is something.

[1590] I was born in Kenya.

[1591] This is something you cannot overlook with this guy.

[1592] This guy's a prick.

[1593] He doesn't know anything about we're in the fucking country anyway.

[1594] Well, he was, he was one of the guys that was going on and on about Obama's birth certificate.

[1595] He was like one of the main guys.

[1596] Like, I, first of all, I don't, just look at them as human beings.

[1597] Like when you hear them talk and you, you kind of like what they stand for.

[1598] He's my favorite president ever.

[1599] Who?

[1600] Obama.

[1601] Better than Clinton?

[1602] Yeah.

[1603] I think Clinton you know Clinton had a lot of flavor and he did some good stuff too But I think Obama has been the most maybe it's just the times that we're in He's the most the most noticeable when it comes to like spreading this like what I think is like an improvement in the way people think You know first of all by being black second of all by a support of gay rights really like blatant support like where they turn the fucking white house rainbow when it got past I mean that's crazy shit man That's never existed before.

[1604] When you saw that picture of the White House being rainbow -colored at night, I was like, this is nuts, man. That wouldn't happen when Nixon?

[1605] This is some shit that's similar to the fucking abolition of slavery.

[1606] It's similar.

[1607] I mean, it's not as extreme a slavery.

[1608] It's not as extreme a trap.

[1609] That's so great.

[1610] That's so amazing.

[1611] I mean, but it's similar in the way that it's going to change the way people look at gay people.

[1612] It's going to, it might not be now.

[1613] It might not be the generation.

[1614] of our parents.

[1615] It might not be the generation of our older brothers and sisters, but it's going to be the generation of our kids.

[1616] The generation of our kids is going to understand that gay people, it's just like being mad of people for having red hair.

[1617] It's just who they are.

[1618] Like, what do you give a fuck?

[1619] And if you give a fuck about that, what else are you going to come creep it around about?

[1620] What are you going to fuck with people about the way they're dressed?

[1621] You're going to fuck with people about the way they're dressed?

[1622] You're going to fuck with people about the way they talk?

[1623] Like, what is it?

[1624] Like, leave people to fuck alone.

[1625] And the more we do that, the more we can sorted all out and find out what is really bothering us what's really bothering people a lot of what's bothering people is people intruding on other people's lives and it doesn't get any more inclusive than in the fucking bedroom you're intruding on people's bedrooms you care if people want to get married if they love each other just because they're two guys or two girls who gives a fuck and if you do give a fuck you're a problem you're a problem in this free world and if this is just one thing that you ideologically attached yourself to, and it might be religious -based, who knows what the fuck other shit you got going on in your head you don't want people to do?

[1626] You know, who knows what other weird kind of Sharia law shit you want to incorporate into society?

[1627] Who knows?

[1628] I don't know.

[1629] You think people shouldn't be able to get married just because they're two men or two women?

[1630] That's intolerable in 2015.

[1631] That's archaic shit.

[1632] And I think that is one of the archaic things that's going to slowly but surely start vanishing.

[1633] from our world.

[1634] It's not, maybe not now.

[1635] There's still a lot of homophobia now.

[1636] But, you know, there's this woman from Brazil who did an interview, I think it was Jessica Androge, a MMA fighter, and she was talking about how many people in Brazil are homophobic in comparison to the United States.

[1637] And she's like, it's really nice to see the United States doing this, and hopefully more people in Brazil think this way too.

[1638] And you realize, like, that in a lot of, like, Latin American countries, especially like you were talking about Cuba you were talking to me the other night about Cuba Russia Cuba yeah yeah yeah you know Russia they pass laws they pass laws against gay people listen man this is something completely new to some people it doesn't affect me so it doesn't bother me I mean like I said it in my joke on stage I live next to two transgenters across the street the gay girl with the dog I talk to them every day I goof on them I goof on fucking Big Mike and Leslie You know, I love him.

[1639] I don't give a fuck, you know, but there's some people who are still living in 19, fucking 70, man. Yeah.

[1640] And those people are stuck in their own fucking lives, so I just keep walking.

[1641] Yeah.

[1642] You just keep walking.

[1643] What are you going to do?

[1644] And every day they watch the longest yard, long for the days when you could smash a chick's face against the wall.

[1645] I was explaining to you the other day that the most foremost community in Cuba is the gay community.

[1646] I grew up with gay Cubans around me. My mom had my mom on the fucking bar.

[1647] What do you think?

[1648] keeps the lights on.

[1649] White dudes in the daytime, those gay fucks that come in and spend it, you know, and in those days, they were doing blow, they were selling blow, and I grew up around them.

[1650] I never had any hatred or anything for him.

[1651] But my stepfather, he's from the other side of Cuba, okay, where they can't be in a room with a gay guy.

[1652] No hatred, no whatever, but they just can't be in a room.

[1653] Their manhood cannot be in a room with a gay guy, you know.

[1654] And I get it.

[1655] Some Latin American countries, it's just, you know.

[1656] but who are the biggest gay guys in the world?

[1657] Fucking Latins.

[1658] They're the best ones.

[1659] So what do you think that is?

[1660] Do you think it's like there's a shame?

[1661] It's a, what is it like in Sicily on that island?

[1662] What would it be like in 1950 to be gay in Sicily?

[1663] They'd bang each other a lot?

[1664] I don't think so.

[1665] I don't fucking think so.

[1666] Well, that's where the Catholics are.

[1667] But I think that you'd be, I think that you would be fucking totally against it.

[1668] Right.

[1669] I think northern Italy, those hard -headed motherfuckers, you can't tell those motherfuckers, or whatever the fuck they call them.

[1670] Right, but that's also where the Vatican is.

[1671] Right.

[1672] Like, how ironic is that?

[1673] That doesn't make any sense, because that is the biggest gay sex organization in the world.

[1674] But they don't want to know that.

[1675] If not gay sex, pedophilia.

[1676] The biggest pedophilia.

[1677] Nobody wants to know that.

[1678] Do they, did the priests fuck each other or the only fuck kids?

[1679] How does that work?

[1680] Who knows?

[1681] You got to bring me down with that talk now and shit, but, you know.

[1682] Listen, just, I didn't, you know, I didn't, you know, I just know how it was when I was growing up.

[1683] Did you know the Vatican owned a gay bathhouse?

[1684] No. The building the Vatican owned was home to the biggest gay bathhouse in Italy.

[1685] That's crazyness.

[1686] Yeah.

[1687] We should go.

[1688] It's good to some heroin.

[1689] Bring some synthetic heroin.

[1690] Yeah, I'll pull up the story because it's fucking ridiculous.

[1691] Jamie, pull that shit up.

[1692] Put it up on the big screen.

[1693] It's ridiculous.

[1694] They own, I mean, they're so blatant.

[1695] They've been doing this for so long.

[1696] You know, like this gigantic, crazy cult that's running the Catholic Empire.

[1697] They've been in charge for so long wearing wizard costumes and sitting on Thrones and people So many people have bought into it That it's look at this The Vatican pays landlord to Europe's biggest gay bathhouse And by the way, I say this I went to Catholic school I'm allowed to say this shit I'm a church They play landlord to They play landlord to Europe's biggest gay Bathhouse The church paid $30 million to acquire a building that houses A senior cardinal end a huge gay sauna.

[1698] Wait a fucking minute.

[1699] A senior cardinal and a huge gay sauna.

[1700] That's it.

[1701] That's his own private gay bathhouse.

[1702] The guy owns a bathhouse.

[1703] They paid $30 million.

[1704] First of all, how crazy is it that the Vatican has $30 million bucks to buy houses with?

[1705] They have so much money.

[1706] Look at that.

[1707] The 75 -year -old prince of the church enjoys a 12 -room apartment on the first floor of the imposing palazzo.

[1708] At two via caducci, just yard.

[1709] from the ground floor entrance to the steamy flesh pot he's he's above it smelling it there are 18 other vatican apartments in the block many of which house priests cardinal diaz who is seen as a social conservative even by current standards of the church hierarchy is no doubt horrified to learn of the activities taking place a floor below my goodness i could not imagine His apartment, mildly smells like buttholes.

[1710] Mildly.

[1711] It's probably a tornado.

[1712] You know what it's probably like, man?

[1713] One of those fucking car, those trees that you hang over your rear view.

[1714] That's like his house.

[1715] The club host, a weekly band night featuring Bruno, a hairy overweight pastor of souls who dresses in the Catholic vestments naturally is free to the music of his clergyman remaining in a thong.

[1716] Because I got to do that.

[1717] I'm going to be the new Bruno.

[1718] Fuck it.

[1719] I'm going to slain some dick with a fucking.

[1720] Because he wants to expose body and soul, according to the independent.

[1721] Baradite also features a buffet because exposing one's body and soul works up an appetite.

[1722] This is a hilarious article.

[1723] This is in Salon, this article.

[1724] Who wrote this article?

[1725] It's very funny.

[1726] You know, Joe Rogan, you read this.

[1727] Katie McDonough.

[1728] You read this after you go to Catholic school and you're raised Catholic.

[1729] It's fucking mind -boggling.

[1730] It's fucking mind -boggling.

[1731] It's just like firecrackers went off in your head.

[1732] For some people, it's like how they found that when Cosby was dope.

[1733] It was mind -boggling from him.

[1734] They grew up on Cosby.

[1735] See a second.

[1736] Look at this fucking Jared guy.

[1737] Look at this fucking Jared guy.

[1738] Subway guy.

[1739] Looking at fucking the kids' porno pictures.

[1740] The FBI, you know, I hope this isn't true.

[1741] But they arrested one guy that was like in the organization, right?

[1742] Did they just investigate Jared or did they have a suspicion?

[1743] And now he's, his house is being investigated and they just announced that he's separated his business ties with Subway right now.

[1744] He's got one of those little...

[1745] Whoa, wait, I didn't hear about this.

[1746] What happened to the Subway guy?

[1747] child porn investigation i knew it yeah man what the hell losing weight on these people all got a creepy fucking freak and it comes out eventually man just let it out before the fucking gets out just let it out i love little boys and fucking bikinis you know eating a subway sandwich oh my god i sit there so do you think that like maybe he sent shit to jared and jared kept his mouth shut or do you think jared was sending shit back what are we TMZ what are we doing here What the fuck happened to this show?

[1748] What I'm embarrassing is that?

[1749] It's not just embarrassing.

[1750] It's not just embarrassing.

[1751] That if you didn't have a life, if you didn't have a life, you want to yell.

[1752] You know, when I first started hearing this shit about the Catholic church, I ignored it.

[1753] I was like, this is crazy.

[1754] I mean, I was a fucking, I was one of those kids.

[1755] One of those kids that fucking helped a priest, you know, for about six months.

[1756] I did that shit until I got thrown out of that.

[1757] You know, I believed.

[1758] You know, tell you, man, like when I get dark thoughts sometimes, when I'm about to go to sleep, I just get dark fucking thoughts.

[1759] And just, you know, just from being around Buddhist and Boulder, I learn that they chant a lot.

[1760] And in other words, a chant is not any different than a prayer.

[1761] You know, so sometimes when I got a bad thought, I'll say a fucking Lord's prayer, man. I'm old school, you know what I'm saying?

[1762] So when I hear this shit, it just does something to you.

[1763] It's just like, but it's for some people, it's like getting punched in the stomach.

[1764] Are you trusted somebody?

[1765] It's like having a babysitter You're numb for a week, man You're really, you can't But this is our whole fucking society Every three days We get dropped with something That we go, what the fuck?

[1766] How did this happen?

[1767] How did this fucking happen?

[1768] Yeah When things like this happened You always gotta wonder Like, what sets something like that off In someone's brain?

[1769] Are they born with that?

[1770] Does it happen because someone does it to them?

[1771] Is it a chemical imbalance?

[1772] Like, what the fuck is it?

[1773] that makes someone sexually attracted to kids.

[1774] What a bizarre thing to exist in nature.

[1775] You know, I mean, it's almost like a suicide gene.

[1776] It's almost like, like, you, like, in having that, like your body is so weak, your mind is so weak, everything is so off -kilter, you're trying to get yourself killed.

[1777] And there's no better way to get yourself killed than fucking someone's kids.

[1778] Like, do you know how many people, like, you remember that video where the guy's walking through the airport and he had molested, he was a karate instructor, and he had molested some kids, and this guy's, this one of the kids' dads waited for him in the airport and as he walked by, with the cops, walks up to his head, boom, blows his brains out and just drops the gun on the ground.

[1779] That guy got off, by the way.

[1780] Did he?

[1781] Yeah, you got off.

[1782] You got off.

[1783] That's a great defense.

[1784] You lost your mind.

[1785] They had abused your child.

[1786] Yeah, he got off.

[1787] Yeah, he didn't do any time.

[1788] He shot that guy right in the fucking head in front of cops and then dropped the gun.

[1789] What state was that?

[1790] I don't remember.

[1791] I want to say it was in New York.

[1792] I want to say it was in New York.

[1793] I forget.

[1794] It might not have been, though.

[1795] It might have been somewhere.

[1796] There's some things that if you get there before the cops, you win.

[1797] Yeah.

[1798] That's your beer.

[1799] You get there before the cops, you fucking win, man. This guy shot them in front of the cops.

[1800] Yeah, and I lost my mind.

[1801] Temporately and sanity.

[1802] Temporarily insanity.

[1803] And the cops are like a fucking handcuffing him going, that a boy.

[1804] Yeah, this is it right here.

[1805] Father shoots son, father shoots and kills son's kidnapper in airport for revenge.

[1806] So.

[1807] Wait, they're going to show him to shoot?

[1808] Oh, yeah.

[1809] Oh, no. Yeah.

[1810] gross?

[1811] No He was just He just couldn't take it man He got this guy away Look at this Boom And then he puts the gun away And then they right He had a crazy hat on The cops hold him down Oh that's great It was his son man That's so good I mean it is right It's fucked up but it is I mean I'm not usually For this kind of shit But boom I mean that is about as I mean as far as like what's fair I'm for it yeah I'm not against that you know you've been my friend for a long time I have a horrible horrible revenge gene it's in my blood you know no you do when they went down to Cuba and they tell the fucking Maya Lansky that they tell the Jew that fucking they saw rebels what does he say he goes these motherfuckers have been savages all their lives yeah they've been savages they've always been savages dog I have I revenge gene in me and it's horrible and no cop would stop me you're crazy i would i would hit somebody with a car and go to the same jail i'm one of those motherfuckers like once i have it in my mind you're done it's in my blood that's my whole life and movies outlawed josie wales death wish man on fire bam and man on fire i'll tell you how bad he is which i missed that scene till a month ago he talks that dude into shooting himself there's only two Two motherfuckers in the movies that have done that.

[1812] What's his name?

[1813] And my boy in Silence of the Lambs.

[1814] He talked the motherfucker to hang himself from the other cell.

[1815] That's right.

[1816] Remember?

[1817] Miggs.

[1818] Miggs.

[1819] He talked Miggs into fucking swallowing his own fucking tongue.

[1820] Miggs was the guy who used to throw jizz on people's face.

[1821] My friend John Tobin used to call me Miggs.

[1822] Those were just nicknames.

[1823] Why?

[1824] Because he's being silly.

[1825] Miggs.

[1826] High Plains Drifter was.

[1827] when he painted the town red that was the one where they killed him and he came back and he came back and he put the shield on yeah it's a crazy movie man they kept shooting the body and he kept going down they thought he was a ghost well he was a ghost they beat a guy to death with a whip and then he came back as clean eastwood he came back a ghost and fuck that town up it was a great movie that was a great movie at the time I remember seeing the first time I saw high planes drifter I was like holy shit you thought you had to throw that's one of I'm talking about when you see the machismo and Bert Reynolds, it's because that motherfucker just watched Bullet and he goes, wait a second.

[1828] Yeah.

[1829] I got to outdo that motherfucker.

[1830] Yep.

[1831] I got to put on this corduroy suit.

[1832] And then Charles Bronson came along and he's got outdo everybody because he's ugly.

[1833] You know, look at him.

[1834] Look at that.

[1835] He was the baddest motherfucker ever.

[1836] If I'm going to watch a movie from that era and like if I come home, like say if I go to a hotel room, hey, you know, you're bored.

[1837] Like, what's on TV?

[1838] you turn it on and you get this you get excited you go oh shit you know you thought you're just going to be by yourself watching some terrible movie and it turns out high planes drifters on HBO or something like fuck they don't even really show these on HBO do they can't they can't why why can't they have to show new shit all the time right no they there's a channel about a month ago they showed uh not high planes drifter but the other one but you want it with no commercials man yeah that's the way you want you don't want these fucking things on regular tea I can't watch these movies, Joe Rogan.

[1839] Why?

[1840] Because it makes me fucking crazy.

[1841] These movies remind you why you're an American, bro.

[1842] These movies are like...

[1843] That's why they made them in Italy.

[1844] What were we talking about when we came in?

[1845] It's time to put a strap a gun on it.

[1846] We're living in some fucked up times.

[1847] You're anxious about this lately.

[1848] I got a wife and a kid that I worry about, and I don't know what I'd do.

[1849] I'd shoot the whole...

[1850] I'd be John Wick.

[1851] I told you, I got to get one of those John Wick guns.

[1852] I'll tell you, that...

[1853] John Wick, the first 20 minutes, until he hooks up with the chick.

[1854] Once he hits up with the chicks, it bothers me for a while.

[1855] But then you click it on with 45 minutes left.

[1856] That is one of the best kick -ass scenes since Bruce Lee and Enter the Dragon.

[1857] And you better check your watches.

[1858] That's 30 fucking years.

[1859] He cleans out.

[1860] He's using bullets as strikes, and he's shooting them up close and blowing their fucking heads off.

[1861] It's a badass movie.

[1862] And when you see that movie, you know, he trained with Higan off.

[1863] Yeah.

[1864] Hegan fucking fuck the one.

[1865] Look, I'm anxious to go see him tomorrow.

[1866] To go see Higgen?

[1867] Yeah, like on the way home, I'll call.

[1868] Yeah?

[1869] My brother, you're going to teach tomorrow?

[1870] I be there 11 o 'clock.

[1871] That's it.

[1872] That's all we say to each other.

[1873] I see 11 o 'clock.

[1874] And now he comes with an Indian dude that heals your body.

[1875] Guy lays you down all by energy.

[1876] Guy looks at you and goes your shoulder bother and you're like, God damn, how do you know?

[1877] Every week it's like a game of chess with him.

[1878] Really?

[1879] He lays you down.

[1880] He does his Cherokee shit.

[1881] Oh, that kind of Indian?

[1882] Yeah, he bends you over.

[1883] He picks up your arms.

[1884] He does the Cherokee thing on your spine.

[1885] He releases the eagle.

[1886] Googly -Moodle.

[1887] You've got to see me do it from your butt.

[1888] You've got to see me doing 90 up Laurel Kay and after the eagle is loose.

[1889] Really?

[1890] Yeah, yeah.

[1891] He shows up with an Indian.

[1892] He fucking works on my body.

[1893] It's turquoise in your ass.

[1894] Nothing, nothing.

[1895] The guy's an whole rodeo clown, dog.

[1896] He broke every bone in his body.

[1897] Oh, my God.

[1898] So this guy adjusted everything.

[1899] And he was like, dog.

[1900] Last week, some dude went in there with a fucked up hip.

[1901] The guy was there this weekend.

[1902] and throwing fucking sidekicks.

[1903] A rodeo clown.

[1904] Jesus Christ.

[1905] Is that the most thankless job?

[1906] It might be one of the most thankless jobs ever.

[1907] There's not one, Lance Armstrong or the rodeo clowns.

[1908] You know what I mean?

[1909] It's like a Ken Block who's like a famous driver, right?

[1910] There's like skateboarders, Tony Hawk.

[1911] You know, there's one guy in each discipline.

[1912] Tiger Woods.

[1913] You know what I mean?

[1914] Everybody knows Tiger Woods is a golfer.

[1915] Who's the one rodeo clown?

[1916] Name one.

[1917] They get no respect.

[1918] There's probably one person that we just don't know.

[1919] It's like a Mexican superhero or something like that.

[1920] They don't really use rodeo clowns.

[1921] They have, I mean, in bull fighting, I mean, that's, like, bull riding, I'm pretty sure, is it American tradition?

[1922] Is it?

[1923] I think so.

[1924] I think in Mexico, obviously, they have a lot of bull fighting, and in Spain, Spain, they have a lot of bull fighting.

[1925] I guess that's where they got it from, right?

[1926] They imported it from Spain.

[1927] I'm hoping.

[1928] Because that's what Mexico is, is like the indigenous Americans that came over, when the Spanish, came over they they taught them Spanish and started fucking them and that's what made Mexican that's why you get like Mexicans like Oscar de la Jolla you know who's like this beautiful looking you know European looking man like kind of fairly pale skin and then you get a Mexican like Juan Manuel Marquez who's like much more Mexican looking Inkish.

[1929] Inca yeah a lot of like the darker skin and like the you know darker hair it's interesting man this is the whole North American continent is fucking fascinating.

[1930] It's fascinating to think that if you came to this spot, 400 years ago, there'd be very few people here.

[1931] Very, very, very few.

[1932] A few nomadic tribes of Native Americans.

[1933] No cities, no nothing.

[1934] Oh, you think how interesting is this?

[1935] There was a Diaz on the boat with Columbus and a Valdez.

[1936] Really?

[1937] Yeah, that's a Diaz on the boat with Columbus.

[1938] That's where all the Diaz has come from?

[1939] I didn't say that.

[1940] I didn't say that.

[1941] Is that your dad?

[1942] And they spell it with his Z. And then one of the biggest lieutenants in Sicilian history is a Diaz with a C. And then we just saw that priest with an S. A Diaz with a C?

[1943] A Z. I'm sorry.

[1944] A Z. And then you have the fucking lunatics up in Stockman and they're Mexican.

[1945] Right.

[1946] And I'm sitting here in front of you and I'm Cuban as can be.

[1947] Right.

[1948] That makes you think.

[1949] Like Diaz there, Diaz there, and Diaz as a lieutenant and Diaz was on his ship as an Italian.

[1950] Italian Diaz Italian Diaz and the Italian Valdez with a Z. My mother's side of the family is Valdez, and they're darker than debt, and my father's side is Diaz, and they're from Kamaway, and they came from Spain.

[1951] They speak with that thing.

[1952] They speak like Zavis, they speak like Jaguars, like those people.

[1953] So you have to think, how did Diaz get to Mexico, how did this Diaz get here, and how did Diaz with a Z, The Diaz with an S These are all very interesting things That I look at You look at evolution We were talking about how they found That fucking toot of the whale in Wyoming Remember years ago We had that discussion on the podcast You know This is things that have always baffled me Like how come there's Nate Diaz And his brother They're Mexicans that could be Not Inca Mexicans though Right They're the other Mexicans Right They came from somewhere else And evolved whatever So it's very interesting You know what's interesting to me, one of the things that's been getting me lately is this water situation in California.

[1954] It's pretty bad.

[1955] It's three years going on four years now, and the drought is pretty ferocious.

[1956] Like, they're saying that California used 29 % less water last month, so people are working to try to solve it, but what was occurring to me when I was thinking about this is we know for a fact that there's areas of the world that used to be lush and then they became desert.

[1957] like that's a we know for a fact about the Nile Valley like in Egypt where the pyramids used to be where the pyramids are rather before that like nine thousand years ago they know there was like it was a rainforest there and slowly over time shit just changed and then there's not that much rainfall and that could easily happen to California but would we stay would everybody stay here and would they just keep pumping water artificially into the spot or would people go you know what this ain't working the same work we don't have any fucking we got to move on like we've always had to all through a human history whenever the climate got bad people to get the fuck out of there when the ice age was happening here no one was living in Canada no one was living in Canada during the ice age because it was two miles thick of ice in a lot of spots you wouldn't you weren't you aren't living on ice right you would find a way to get to a place where it's not ice you know but all the places that were covered in ice where it was a massive amount of Canada so when all that ice receded that's where we got the Great Lakes from the Great Lakes are fucking puddles that are melting Glaciers.

[1958] I mean, that's how fucking crazy this place was just 10 ,000 years ago.

[1959] If we had a house and it was there, you can't be stubborn when the ice starts coming.

[1960] You can't say, we're just going to keep chipping away at that ice every year.

[1961] Like at a certain point in time, you've got to realize, okay, if there's two miles of ice and it's as big as fucking Canada or half of Canada or even a few states, where those few states are, you can't live.

[1962] You got to get out of there.

[1963] You got to get out of there.

[1964] And if that happens here, we're so arrogant.

[1965] All right.

[1966] that we can control nature is so arrogant.

[1967] No one considers leaving California.

[1968] Like everybody talks about like, well, California's California.

[1969] We got to do something about the California water crisis.

[1970] What if it never rains again?

[1971] Because guess what?

[1972] That could happen.

[1973] If it doesn't rain but once or twice a year or 10 times a year or 20 times a year, there have been way crazier things than a shift in our climate to the point where it rains zero.

[1974] That's totally possible.

[1975] It's totally possible.

[1976] If it's possible to rain one day a year, it's possible to rain zero.

[1977] If it's possible to rain 10, it's possible to rain one.

[1978] It could be horrific, disastrous.

[1979] It's totally possible.

[1980] And it would be normal.

[1981] It would be something that's happened all throughout the world.

[1982] They know that a lot of deserts used to be like lush areas.

[1983] And then somehow or another, like, for whatever reason, things changed.

[1984] Things shifted.

[1985] You know, and you can blame people all you want.

[1986] I'm sure we have a lot to do with it.

[1987] I'm sure global warming that there's, without a doubt, as some element of human civilization is a part of it.

[1988] There's too many scientists that believe it does.

[1989] There's got to be some factor.

[1990] But even without that factor, it's super possible that shit would change on its own.

[1991] It shifts.

[1992] We don't control when it rains.

[1993] It can fucking shift.

[1994] It easily could shift.

[1995] And if you're in a spot that sucks, you've got to make a decision.

[1996] You've got to figure out what the fuck you're going to do.

[1997] It rains more in Phoenix than it rains here.

[1998] It rains on Phoenix a lot, actually.

[1999] I didn't know that.

[2000] In Ohio and Houston, look at Galveston, that's rained.

[2001] so much that there's shit water everywhere and people are losing their sight because it's overfilled all the sewage and stuff you ever right about this site yeah this uh this girl lost her sight just from being in the water uh because the they tested the water is it's all shit water it's in galveston in houston they've had such bad flooding in the past month it's been horrible horrible oh my god i saw some of the uh photos i remember that back when we worked at the laugh stop.

[2002] When I was there, they were thinking about that Sunday floods.

[2003] That was two months ago.

[2004] No, no, no, the laugh stop in Houston, way back in the day.

[2005] Yeah, West Time.

[2006] Do you remember when they had to close that hotel where used to stay at?

[2007] Yeah, they flooded that day.

[2008] It was flooded up to like the third floor.

[2009] That was the time I was there, I'm sorry, the comedy club was on West Gray.

[2010] I saw a refrigerator going down West Steimer.

[2011] Fecal Matterwater advisories.

[2012] Oh my God.

[2013] Hold on, let me read that whole thing.

[2014] Fecal matter water advisories issued for some Galveston County beaches Fucking A man Shit in the water Did a girl really go blind though?

[2015] Yeah, yeah Oh That's insane Damn The fucking subway already cut ties to Jared Nothing came up At least the UFC waited three days and shit with John Jones They went down there These motherfuckers They think Dana's tough Fucking subway don't play They don't even give a fuck whether he's guilty or not.

[2016] Even if Jared didn't do anything but knew about it, if he knew the dude had child porn, he's still responsible.

[2017] What do you hold on up?

[2018] This is the article.

[2019] Woman loses sight in one eye after a mud run.

[2020] A young woman went blind in one eye within 24 hours after catching a flesh -eating bacteria during a mud run in Dallas this month because of all the flooding.

[2021] Oh, God.

[2022] Flesh -eating bacteria in your eye.

[2023] It just says, women said, The debris cut her eye, allowing flesh -eating bacteria to destroy her cornea.

[2024] It just completely melted off my eye.

[2025] Oh, my God.

[2026] Fuck.

[2027] That's fucked up.

[2028] Do we just shit into the ocean?

[2029] How does that work?

[2030] Oh, shit.

[2031] More than a thousand runners get diarrhea after mud day event.

[2032] Oh, of course.

[2033] Well, you're definitely getting some bacteria.

[2034] If you get a mouthful of mud, that's 100%.

[2035] You're not supposed to do that, by the way.

[2036] You're not supposed to drink still water.

[2037] You know, you're love.

[2038] if that's all you get you know you can get something way worse than that that's gentile shit jumping in a fucking puddle of mud stay home fuck your wife in the ass you're going to jump in fucking mud like a jerk off at least the polar bears jump in the ocean they jump into fucking cold water there's nothing bad going to happen to you want to jump in mud after you're fucking been running uh snowing whatever the fuck it's been for a month god knows it's in that fucking mud i used to think those polar bear people were idiots those people that would jump into the water until you went into that freezer yeah and then you said god there aren't the something, isn't it?

[2039] When you jump in the ocean man, it's cold, it does something to you.

[2040] Especially when it hits like your bones for a minute.

[2041] When you come out of there you feel like a fucking new man. I've jumped into the fucking Atlantic.

[2042] Is that where we're at?

[2043] Which one's colder?

[2044] Here is cold.

[2045] Oh my God, when I used to jump in the water in Oregon and Seattle, that's fucking penguin weather.

[2046] That's freezing.

[2047] That's when you feel the bones in your feet and shit.

[2048] But it's probably really good for it.

[2049] Yep, it is good for you.

[2050] Because this, cryotherapy shit, this stuff is changing my fucking body.

[2051] It's changing the way my body feels.

[2052] It's amazing how well it cures any weird shit that's bugging you.

[2053] Inflammation, back pains.

[2054] Like, back pains have been fucking with me forever.

[2055] They're just dissolving.

[2056] You just do it all the time.

[2057] Your body produces all these anti -inflammation responses to the cold weather.

[2058] So that's probably what they were doing when they were jumping in the ocean.

[2059] You get out of it and your body's like, whoo!

[2060] You just get this fucking charge of the blood.

[2061] You dick, shrap.

[2062] It gets hard real fast and shrinks when it pops out of that motherfucker like yum yum juice is being served and shit I'll never forget you saying any of your ex -girlfriends kill herself no they should have Oh, if you suck my dick in the 80s you should have killed yourself There's a girl on Facebook that I saw one night The last time I saw this chick was the night flutie Tug flutty threw that touchdown oh this is winter of 83 84 man maybe and I saw at a bar dog this this and they called the Laurie the Jack remember that song the Jack no the Jack by ACDC she's got the Jack she's got the Jack she has something like a disease this chick didn't have the jack she just didn't have the wet pussy so they called it wasn't wet no they called the Fairview New Jersey because it was a dry hump these motherfuckers are so a savages they will give you nicknames for everything in Jersey you know and I saw her out man and I don't know what the fuck happened.

[2063] We started doing blow.

[2064] She was a babysitter for this family.

[2065] Louis Donato, the guy was a freak.

[2066] We went over to their house, and I saw a deposit bag from the bar, and I robbed it, and we got more blow.

[2067] Wow.

[2068] We ended up in the hotel room doing power, and she's like, guess what color my underwear?

[2069] I'll never forget that.

[2070] She's like, if you color, guess the color my underwear, I'll take them all.

[2071] I'm like, red.

[2072] She's like, they're green, but fuck it, take them off.

[2073] And I saw her on Facebook, and I'm like, do you remember what happened that night?

[2074] She's like, no. I go, you don't want to fucking know You wouldn't be here right now You'd be fucking killing yourself Disgusting All that shit's disgusting Disgusting You know with all this transgender talk I was telling these motherfuckers on stage The night that That chick showed us a pussy in Las Vegas That was a transgender Do you remember what you called it?

[2075] What did I call it?

[2076] Said it looked like a bat once mouth open It did it did it was tight the skin was tight and it looked like somebody put a bore in it where the dick hole was and cleaned it out do you remember when dog and I were doing the man show and we had that really beautiful we had two of them that were really beautiful that were transgender remember the one of them that was pre -op and she showed his dick to the or her dick rather to the audience she showed his dick that's what I just said but it's hard to say her dick you know what I'm saying I was treating her correctly by calling her a she then I got to the dick I'm like she she showed his dick but um she was beautiful so beautiful that she was walking up the hill or driving up the hill you know over by uh the we used to be the Hyatt next to the comedy store right she was driving up that hill and Eddie Bravo and I were coming down the hill we were walking and she was coming up and Eddie looked at it he goes god damn and I go oh that's my friend I go she used to be a dude and he goes you know her are you sure are you fucking with me you fuck with me I go no no she's definitely you used to be a dude and then you know she said hi and i said oh what's up how you doing everything good blah blah we talked and then we went down there and he goes oh my god i can't believe they used to be a guy i can't believe it he goes now i'm so confused now i don't know i thought i would be able to tell i thought totally able to spot one i'm like you can't spot her she's she's and she's dick she's as girly as it gets oh my god we should pitch that show what that a transgender set like normal guys up with them on a date and see if they guess it.

[2077] See what the reaction is the next day?

[2078] Guys would get violent.

[2079] That's how Jenny Jones got canceled from TV, don't you remember?

[2080] By how?

[2081] Jenny Jones had an episode where it was like my secret crush, and the guy had a secret crush on this dude that he worked with, and the dude that he worked with had no idea what the fuck was going on.

[2082] He was on his show, and we're here to tell you that someone has a secret crush on you, and the guy gets out, it's me, I always went out, it's like, you know, he got out there and he was like really flamboyant, and the guy got angry, went out to his house and shot him.

[2083] Yeah.

[2084] Fucking killed him, and they just went, point, they pulled the plug on that show.

[2085] No, but we won't do it like that.

[2086] That show doesn't exist anymore.

[2087] We'll give him a chick that's already had the operation.

[2088] That's not, it doesn't matter, man. And after they fucking suck, then you break it to him like with a guard there.

[2089] With a guard there.

[2090] A guy comes out with a gun.

[2091] No, they did it after the show was over.

[2092] The guy went to his house and killed him.

[2093] I know.

[2094] He killed them like a couple days later.

[2095] But that's fine.

[2096] But that's fine.

[2097] That's why you fuck a dude.

[2098] And somebody tells you, you ain't leaving the house for a week.

[2099] Dog, this is what you do.

[2100] You film all the episodes in two days.

[2101] So if they die, they die.

[2102] Fuck, you already made you Vig.

[2103] You got a fucking hundred episodes in the can.

[2104] Fuck him.

[2105] He's probably going to kill people more way.

[2106] That's it.

[2107] No, after they fuck a day, you get them down and go, how was your date?

[2108] It was great.

[2109] I've never been with a woman so magical.

[2110] What did we tell you if Diane was really dick, the jick?

[2111] Dick, Dick, Dick.

[2112] He used to sling dick back in the 80s on the Sunset Strip.

[2113] And the guy just frees.

[2114] I mean, what could you do?

[2115] He's going to kill somebody.

[2116] Someone, you know, get the wrong guy.

[2117] What would you do?

[2118] Yeah, what if it happened to you, what would you do?

[2119] Depends how good the pussy was.

[2120] You know what I'm saying?

[2121] The pussy was good.

[2122] Fuck it.

[2123] You know, then he was really a woman all along.

[2124] Here's the deal.

[2125] He was meant to give out that monkey.

[2126] Here's the total rub.

[2127] Here's the total rub.

[2128] Okay.

[2129] This is the 100%.

[2130] Dudes are willing to accept artificially enhanced breasts, right?

[2131] No problem.

[2132] I mean, some guys don't prefer them, but they're willing to accept artificially enhanced breasts.

[2133] So breasts that change your body, and they turn your body into something that's more womanly or more, for whatever reason, it activates that part of your lizard brain that sees the big fleshy tits and thinks that this girl will be able to take care of my babies well.

[2134] She's very fertile.

[2135] These are good genes.

[2136] That's the same gene that gives you the big ass, like the big ass and the big tits, like that sparks there's like a flame.

[2137] It's not as a matter of someone giving you affection.

[2138] It's a matter of someone giving you affection in a very specific shape that rings in your brain.

[2139] Well, if they can do that and do that absolutely perfectly, and they will be able to eventually, if they can, already right now, and turn a guy into the exact shape of a woman that's hot as fuck.

[2140] At the end of the day, you can search around for some fucking hidden crackerjack toy.

[2141] You can lift her up and look around and try to figure out, Okay, I don't, I guess is this a woman?

[2142] I guess it looks exactly like a woman.

[2143] It feels like a woman.

[2144] It talks like a woman.

[2145] God damn it, is it a woman?

[2146] And you'll eventually decide that it's a woman.

[2147] Because your brain processes that as female.

[2148] Your brain processes the words as female.

[2149] The shape is female.

[2150] And if someone could figure out how to do it just perfectly, just perfectly, genetically, they figure out to go in there and fucking tweak this shit.

[2151] They're close to doing crazy shit like that.

[2152] saw that thing that um ronda patrick tweeted that uh i uh retweeted with about the pigs look what they're doing the pigs man they figured out a way to delete a gene and pigs and they come out like incredible hulk pigs she uh she put up a photo of it today they're doing all kinds of weird shit with genetics and they're already doing this on people she says in china she's coming on the podcast soon to talk to me about it i i can't wait to talk about it but look at these fucking pigs man this is crazy wow they're Hulk pigs.

[2153] Look at the ass on that pig.

[2154] It's like a bull.

[2155] It's hot.

[2156] If you were in a pig butt, but you mean, you know what I'm saying?

[2157] Like this is a new thing they're doing to the bodies of these animals.

[2158] They're going to be able to do that to people too, man. And they're going to be able to turn a man into a woman, like perfectly.

[2159] They'll be able to literally get in there and dig around.

[2160] Switch this, turn that off and turn this on and you're a woman.

[2161] I mean, it's going to happen.

[2162] It's just a matter of time.

[2163] I mean, I don't know if they're ever going to be able to turn a dick into a vagina without surgery, but I can't imagine one day they will.

[2164] One day they'll just be able to, you could go back and forth.

[2165] There's an app for it.

[2166] One day, the government will have a switch.

[2167] We'll just decide to, today we're going to be a girl day.

[2168] Today, everyone is going to learn to be more sensitive to women because we're all going to be women and just hit a switch.

[2169] The entire city is a woman.

[2170] And that's when the Mongols invade.

[2171] Come over the hill and they fuck everyone, including all the alpha.

[2172] males.

[2173] They just get fucked like chicks.

[2174] And here's a secret.

[2175] They like it.

[2176] They like it because they're chicks now.

[2177] Joe, do you have a tight pussy today?

[2178] Today I do.

[2179] He's got a replenishment.

[2180] I got a new shot at the doctor.

[2181] I went to the dentist.

[2182] He cleaned my teeth and made my pussy tighter.

[2183] He hooked me up.

[2184] He's going to be able to do that at home with your own printer.

[2185] You're going to be able to print an artificial vagina that's just like way tighter.

[2186] You're going to hit the right keys.

[2187] Apple one -click, you know, and your vagina just going, you're going to have chips in your body that tell your body what to do.

[2188] That's 100%.

[2189] There's going to be artificial blood.

[2190] That's 100%.

[2191] Nanobots, those little, they're devising these tiny little itsy -bitsy blood cell -sized machines.

[2192] This is what they're going to eventually have someday.

[2193] That'll fight cancer.

[2194] So if you have like a cancerous growth in your body, they'll be able to send these machines through your bloodstream.

[2195] to attack these sick areas of your body.

[2196] I mean, we're going to see some fucking nutty shit in our day, and a man turning into a woman is like the least of the nutty shit.

[2197] If we could stay alive, we could all in this room stay alive to 100, we're going to see some shit.

[2198] But he hasn't cut this dick off you, Caitlin.

[2199] You say that, like, some of us questioned it.

[2200] You were in the middle of a conversation in your own head, and you introduced it to us.

[2201] But he hasn't cut his dick off there, but he's all excited.

[2202] Nobody brought him up.

[2203] Everybody's all excited, but he hasn't cut his dick off yet.

[2204] So why is everybody jumping up and down for?

[2205] Well, because he is allowed to keep his penis and still be a woman, Joey does?

[2206] No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't work that way, right?

[2207] Either you're in or you're out.

[2208] Yeah, it don't work that way.

[2209] When he cuts his dick off, then come see me. He's taking pictures, everybody's jumping up and down.

[2210] He still hasn't gone to the farm.

[2211] Once you go to the farm and cut that motherfucker off, then you come see Uncle Joey.

[2212] That's a true story.

[2213] Until then, once you go to the farm, then come back and see him.

[2214] He hasn't gone yet.

[2215] This is a trick by the wife.

[2216] This is a trick.

[2217] This is a fucking trick.

[2218] Something's going on.

[2219] Something is not a trick.

[2220] He got his face fixed.

[2221] All right.

[2222] Did you see the facial surgery?

[2223] So did Mickey Ward.

[2224] No, no, no, no. So they fucking, uh, uh, Stallone.

[2225] Everybody got that face face.

[2226] Yeah, but not like this.

[2227] Like, he went through feminization surgery where they, like, shortened his jaw and changed his lips and the whole deal.

[2228] Have you seen the recent photos?

[2229] Look at the, pull up the recent photos from Vanity Fair.

[2230] Mike across the street, big Mike.

[2231] He put a pussy in there, and he hasn't changed his jaw, and he's out there sucking dick two nights a week.

[2232] He put a pussy in there?

[2233] Yeah.

[2234] So he turned his dick into a pussy?

[2235] Has he said it to you?

[2236] No, Big Mike is under construction still.

[2237] I don't really do it.

[2238] Yeah, he puts the wig on.

[2239] He's got a ball spot.

[2240] He's got to put a wig over it, but his roommate Leslie did everything.

[2241] She got the cheeks, the face.

[2242] So she was a man?

[2243] Yes.

[2244] Okay.

[2245] See, this is, look at these photos.

[2246] Like, look at these photos, like a close -up ones of the face, like right there.

[2247] Like, he had a shitload of things done.

[2248] Doesn't it seem like a high -maintenance guy?

[2249] Oh, yeah, he's crazy as fuck.

[2250] Well, here's the thing, man, you know, when we were watching that interview, when he got interviewed by, what was it, Diane Sawyer?

[2251] Is that who it was?

[2252] I interviewed him?

[2253] What, he was loving all the attention.

[2254] He was loving it.

[2255] He was loving the opportunity to talk about himself and talk about having, hold up that, pull that image up.

[2256] Jesus, Christmas.

[2257] I love I was trying to hide those giant canoe feet Yeah that's the fuck out of here with those size 38 flippers I almost got an upskirt thing going on fucking Munich feet That motherfucker jumped in Munich and shit look at it's just it's very strange man I mean that that is a very feminine looking man or woman Joey you want to hit that transition I should say you know I mean in transition She's very feminine looking like what they've done their face If she really looked like that so this is the thing when you're looking at something like this This has been through more fucking computers.

[2258] I mean, more screens and filters, and we all know that.

[2259] We all know about the difference between what someone would look like in real life and someone would look like in like a super well done photograph like that.

[2260] It's a big difference.

[2261] But hey, man, good for her.

[2262] If that's what she wants to do now, same thing we were talking about before, about gay marriage.

[2263] Good for her.

[2264] If this is what she enjoys, I'm glad that she can be on the cover of a magazine and it could be a fun time for everybody, you know?

[2265] When we were kids, this could have never happened.

[2266] No. Never.

[2267] It's weird, though, right?

[2268] And it did happen when we were kids.

[2269] It happened because I watched the report, and when it happened in another country, and we just didn't know about it.

[2270] It happened, like, in Germany or somewhere.

[2271] Really?

[2272] Somebody, like in 1940, and some American did it.

[2273] We just, there was no internet.

[2274] Right.

[2275] So we weren't very hip to it.

[2276] You know, when I was in Seattle, a young comic, we had read it.

[2277] Rita had done the operation.

[2278] Rita was a Japanese man that became a Japanese woman.

[2279] But she died because, first off, she had a lot of psychological problems that came after the surgery.

[2280] I loved Rita O. Rita O. Let me four and a house for my first fucking head shot.

[2281] I never forgot that, man. I paid her back on everything.

[2282] Rita died because her head was too fucking big from being a man. What?

[2283] So her balance was off.

[2284] After the surgery.

[2285] What?

[2286] Her balance is off.

[2287] Rita O. I love those comments.

[2288] Hey, how is that positive?

[2289] What about Brad Williams?

[2290] It's like if I become It's like if Brad becomes a woman His head's going to be fucking ginormous And his balance is going to be off From time to time Something happened After they did the surgery to him To her That her balance got taken off She died because she suffered a fall At a disco And banged the head Rita O was an open -mic That used to run with us in Seattle And she'd come out She had the nails I mean nobody's gonna fuck Rita O Trust me Nobody ever thought of fucking Rita O' her hands were fucking horrid.

[2291] It looked like Herman Munsterhands.

[2292] She had the nails, and she would get nachos.

[2293] And then she'd go to get a drink, and we'd take her nachos, and she'd yell.

[2294] She had a very feminine voice, like, yes, darling.

[2295] But she'd look at her getting nachos, she'd go, put them down.

[2296] It was fucking scary.

[2297] And to make money, the government or the doctors gave her a certain amount of pills a month, and she had became a pill addict.

[2298] because the pain from the surgery plus all the psychological and everything like she you know she was raised like the four you know when i met rita in 95 rita was 50 already you know what i'm saying so i was 20 something maybe 30 so she was telling me that when she was growing up her mother and father would beat her when she would tell him that she was really a woman wow you know like it was just too much abuse in her life and then once she finally became a woman There was so much baggage, you know.

[2299] I remember doing blow with her, like, and talking to her, like, at the comedy club.

[2300] And her telling me, you know, as creepy as it was, that, you know, she would have to go.

[2301] She had to shrink three times a week still.

[2302] What was the big, did she talk about what the big issue was?

[2303] The transition, was it a transition?

[2304] Transition, you know, but she ate a lot of pills.

[2305] She did a lot of powder.

[2306] She had tons of money.

[2307] I don't know where she got the money from.

[2308] I know she sold drugs She even came down here To see me once when I was in LA at the comedy store Like in 99 And she died shortly after that She fell off the stage and went to a comb and died And we're joking around And it was true her head was too big There's a lot of compic It had to do with her pills In fact she's taking pills Is that more likely I've been I've been in contact In my life With maybe Maybe two or three transgender men You know Like I'm the street streets when I was a kid in New York City or something.

[2309] And something was always missing.

[2310] You know what I'm saying?

[2311] Even after they did the surgery, something is always not right, Joe Rogan.

[2312] They just did something major, major.

[2313] It's a major step.

[2314] We're just throwing it around with these fucking idiots, and they're going to start throwing it around like a tattoo.

[2315] That's the part of it that I don't like.

[2316] That now every time somebody feels feminine, they're going to want to have this fucking surgery.

[2317] Do you know what I'm saying?

[2318] Like one day you feel confused, or whatever, you know, this is the part of it I don't like.

[2319] I get all this gender stuff, and I get it, man, that you're a woman, that you were born feeling this, but in today's society, we got too many sheep.

[2320] We've got too many weak souls out there, dog.

[2321] You know, they still argue about, you know, it's not good.

[2322] And those are the people I worry about.

[2323] Those people that, you know, you ever go somewhere and you hear people talking, you know who's there just to try to be there?

[2324] It's like, I'll never forget this.

[2325] I went through a restaurant once in Santa Monica.

[2326] There was a guy behind me, and while I was eating, I said, nobody's this gay.

[2327] Nobody could be this gay.

[2328] This guy was not born like this.

[2329] This for this guy is something that he does to be accepted.

[2330] He doesn't even know what he's doing.

[2331] In six years, he won't be gay no more.

[2332] In six years, I'll have a wife and a kid living in Idaho and I'll be a farmer.

[2333] But he's just doing this to fit in.

[2334] This is like, I have a lot of that.

[2335] I feel a lot of that with people.

[2336] today in our society.

[2337] A lot.

[2338] I feel people are not completely in.

[2339] There's some people for sure.

[2340] There's not people in.

[2341] And that's why I tell people, before you go in there, fucking think it over, whether it's hanging out with devil worshipers or hanging out with drug dealers or whatever the fuck you want to do because once you're in, you're in.

[2342] You're going to end up kidnapping somebody with a machine gun.

[2343] Don't tell me what the fuck I know.

[2344] I know when somebody's faking the funk.

[2345] There's people that in that, when I was a kid, Jimmy Balzano, who was my brother, I knew he was gay.

[2346] I knew he was slinging dick, but it took no fucking genius to tell you that my brother, I grew up in his house with his other three brothers.

[2347] You couldn't tell he was gay.

[2348] If he came to me today and said, I'm a transgender, I would hug him and go, dogs since the eighth grade.

[2349] I can tell you you were a dick sucker.

[2350] I didn't have no doubts in my heart that you weren't going to suck dick, even though you were fucking girls in the neighborhood because you were so good -looking.

[2351] You know what I'm saying?

[2352] You grew up with people that you look at and go, sometimes you go to the store and you see people that you go it's like when you see Eddie Murphy in person you're like this guy could be a fucking go -go dancer on the weekends when you see Eddie Murphy I always said Eddie Murphy should win an Academy Award because when he's as a movie he's a man of many men when you see Eddie Murphy in person you're like the rumors could be true there's something about him and I'm ain't mad at Eddie I'm one of his biggest fans I'm just telling the truth that as a man, you're around other fucking men, and you know who ain't right.

[2353] You know who you might be able to talk into sucking a dick at three in the morning.

[2354] We all have that person.

[2355] Now, we go home.

[2356] We love that person.

[2357] We accept that person.

[2358] But you know, one night, if you have a pill and a quailu, you might be able to talk this guy.

[2359] There's certain guys who are doing.

[2360] You know, there's people like that that they walk around.

[2361] You know they'll suck a dick if they had to, if they got into a tight spot one night.

[2362] Okay?

[2363] And that night in Hollywood, and I felt bad about what I was thinking, I felt this guy was just doing it so he could bowl with these guys on Tuesday nights.

[2364] You know, 20 years ago, what am I the only retard in the room, man?

[2365] Hey, hey, she went lesbian.

[2366] Did she not?

[2367] Did she not?

[2368] She was dating fucking Ellen.

[2369] You're an Ellen fan?

[2370] Well, she wanted to become famous.

[2371] Right.

[2372] So she became a lesbian and she did Dr. Brasco.

[2373] And now, what is she got?

[2374] Look at kids.

[2375] Okay, then.

[2376] Husband.

[2377] You know, so.

[2378] I think people, a lot of people moved to Hollywood or in society.

[2379] And just to fit in, they'll do shit.

[2380] They'll do shit.

[2381] Then they realize, this is where I fucking got.

[2382] They do it, man. We live in a sheep fucking society today.

[2383] We're all trying to be the same person.

[2384] If you look around, we're all looking the same.

[2385] When you go to Silver Lake and do Molo and you get on stage, look at the people, and 80 % of people look the same.

[2386] They all got the same fucking glasses, the same tight jeans, the same tattoo of the Chinese sign.

[2387] Everybody wants to be the pot.

[2388] fucking same here everybody's thinking the same you know you wake up in the morning walking to a studio for an audition what does everybody have in front of them a cup of what Starbucks Starbucks and if you ain't got Starbucks you ain't invited to the fucking party really you see Starbucks raised their prices 20 % again did they really how much more you gonna pay for coffee they got you hooked they got you hooked they want that money it's not and it's not coffee everybody got coffee it's the status of going to Starbucks oh my god is it really yes it's status.

[2389] Oh, my God.

[2390] How many times you see a picture?

[2391] Who's impressed that you go to Starbucks over the car?

[2392] I go to coffee bean.

[2393] They have better croissons.

[2394] It doesn't matter.

[2395] You know what I'm saying.

[2396] In today's society, when we were growing up in Boston or Denver, you lived at your grandfather's in Newark.

[2397] People would have a little fucking blue cup that said coffee and you went to a diner and you said, give me what was it called?

[2398] Do you remember they used to have the Greek stuff?

[2399] Right.

[2400] Like little Greek guys on the cups?

[2401] What's it called?

[2402] The coffee?

[2403] Medium.

[2404] How do you order coffee?

[2405] Regular?

[2406] Yeah, regular.

[2407] What's regular?

[2408] What's Regular cream and sugar.

[2409] And two coffees, right?

[2410] Regular.

[2411] Now look what we have, but we didn't carry the coffee cups like a Budweiser.

[2412] It's like when you go out at night.

[2413] You take a picture with somebody.

[2414] What do they always got in their hand?

[2415] Put the fucking beer down.

[2416] But nobody could put the beer down.

[2417] God forbid they don't party out.

[2418] God forbid they don't party.

[2419] Party out?

[2420] Let's put the butt so they can tell I'm drinking.

[2421] What the fuck?

[2422] Put the beer down, you fuck.

[2423] Same thing with coffee in our society.

[2424] Everybody wants to fucking be cool and drink that fucking coffee.

[2425] Have you ever Have you ever had someone look at your cup and go, what is that fucking coffee bean?

[2426] What, you can't afford Starbucks, bro?

[2427] No, step up to the Starbucks.

[2428] But you could, why would you wait on...

[2429] Dunkin' Donuts, bro?

[2430] Why would you wait on that line?

[2431] When 7 -11 got the same fucking car.

[2432] No, I don't know.

[2433] It's that same...

[2434] Listen, that Brazilian bowl will keep you up for three days.

[2435] That's what Ices drinks.

[2436] Don't tell me my fucking business.

[2437] We think ICE's drinks fucking...

[2438] Take coffee?

[2439] Fuck you.

[2440] They drink fucking Brazil.

[2441] You ever drink Brazilian...

[2442] You ever drink Brazilian bowl from fucking Dunkin' Donuts?

[2443] Fuck you!

[2444] But that's Dunkin' Donuts.

[2445] Fuck everybody.

[2446] Fuck all you dumb motherfuckers that pay ate the hot.

[2447] Look at me. Antibiotics and antipungus.

[2448] Go to Dunkin' Donuts and get that Brazilian buck and bowl.

[2449] And come back and see me. That's liquid fucking meth.

[2450] Got the fuck out of here.

[2451] Dunkin' Donuts, I agree with.

[2452] Shit.

[2453] But not 7 -Eleven.

[2454] I don't even like Dunkin' Donuts because the coffee's too hot.

[2455] No, no, no. At 7 -Eleven, the old Brazilian bowl.

[2456] Now they got it all fucked up.

[2457] I don't go for Dunkin' Donuts you go for you don't go for 7 -11.

[2458] No, Duncan Donuts in Encino.

[2459] By the time I drive, they'll crash the fucking car.

[2460] So I either make the croop at the fucking house.

[2461] I make the Crip at the house.

[2462] What do you think I leave the -I -T -I -C -ups, right?

[2463] Why do you think I leave the -C -C -C -ups, right?

[2464] We have them still, right?

[2465] Okay, I get more in the car.

[2466] Why do you think I leave the comedy store so fast every night?

[2467] Because I got to cash my Starbucks by midnight.

[2468] I turn into a pump.

[2469] Are you drinking at midnight?

[2470] Oh, my God.

[2471] I drink a fernment.

[2472] Flat white, a small one at midnight.

[2473] So you go right down the street to the one that's near Carnies?

[2474] Magnolia?

[2475] No, Magnolia and Riverside.

[2476] That's open till 12 o 'clock?

[2477] And the driving is open until midnight.

[2478] I got up this morning at 4 .15.

[2479] I got nothing to do.

[2480] I shoot right to the drive -ins open at 4 .30.

[2481] You know, one of the things that I would do when I was writing is I'd make a fucking pot of coffee at night.

[2482] Like, you could be like midnight.

[2483] I start writing and I'll make a pot of coffee.

[2484] That's when I know I'm there to work.

[2485] I'm going to, you know, big fucking French press.

[2486] You said you got the white chocolate mocha?

[2487] No, no, I get the flat white.

[2488] I don't drink no white chocolate.

[2489] You got to get out of here, right?

[2490] No, no, no, I'm cool.

[2491] We got 15, 20 minutes.

[2492] I love the flat white from...

[2493] It's like a fake confecal and late shit.

[2494] I'll drink a small, you know what I'm saying?

[2495] But if I'm home, I'll corrupt that motherfucker.

[2496] I'll do a double bustello.

[2497] You can sleep right after that, though, right?

[2498] Like, no, I did cocaine for 30.

[2499] A cup of coffee, don't do nothing, Uncle Joey.

[2500] That's a double bustello.

[2501] You know what?

[2502] I think I have ADD or some shit.

[2503] Because sometimes I'll have a cup of coffee and I'll get sleepy.

[2504] Yeah, I do.

[2505] Me too.

[2506] Me too.

[2507] What goes up must come down.

[2508] What goes up must come down?

[2509] It's a dumbest.

[2510] What those up?

[2511] Must come down.

[2512] Spinning wheel.

[2513] Yeah, got that thing.

[2514] Turn your mother on the river side.

[2515] Got a painted pony.

[2516] Let the...

[2517] Digki -dick -dee.

[2518] You got no money in you.

[2519] You got no home.

[2520] Spinning wheel.

[2521] That's Chicago, isn't it?

[2522] That's a good fucking chair.

[2523] No, I don't think it's...

[2524] Is it Chicago?

[2525] Maybe.

[2526] God damn, I don't know, is it?

[2527] Three Dog Night, Chicago.

[2528] It's got to be one of those fuckers.

[2529] Spinning wheel.

[2530] Spinning wheel song.

[2531] Did you guys listen to the new Apple Music?

[2532] Radio station?

[2533] No. It's interesting.

[2534] It's spinning wheel.

[2535] The fucking dude on KTLA said to stay away from it.

[2536] Blood sweat and tears, Joey.

[2537] Blood sweating tears, yeah.

[2538] Blood sweat and tears.

[2539] That's crazy.

[2540] What goes up Must come down Spin and wheel 1770?

[2541] Let me say What year, Jamie?

[2542] Wow You know who's at that?

[2543] Listen to the horns on this, brother.

[2544] Listen to the horn.

[2545] Put this back again.

[2546] Listen to these horns Because we grew up on guitars, ladies and gentlemen, for you fucking morons with the DJ and the dude The little Chinese dude Listen to the horns on that.

[2547] That's the whole song That's good Keep it up Right here, hold on Let it shine Within your mind Are you kidding me I haven't heard this song For ever Goose bombs This is Da -da -da -da -ta -da -ta -ta -da You want to really put a fucking jam on dog And you got to put the video on So I can show you motherfuckers In the book by Aerosmith He describes when he met His daughter for the first time At a concert He was on stage And his daughter.

[2548] Yeah, the chick that's in Armageddon.

[2549] He met her for the first time?

[2550] You didn't know that, though?

[2551] No. She didn't know who her father was.

[2552] It was between Todd.

[2553] Rundgren?

[2554] Todd Glass.

[2555] No, Todd Rungren.

[2556] It was between Todd Rungren and Stephen Tile.

[2557] And then her mother took her to see Aerosman.

[2558] She goes, that's my dad.

[2559] Put up Todd Rungren.

[2560] Hello, it's me. Listen to this, Jam, Joe Logan.

[2561] No. It's the last time you heard this.

[2562] I haven't heard this.

[2563] forever.

[2564] I don't even know how it goes.

[2565] Oh, my God.

[2566] This is when singing.

[2567] This is when you had to have a voice, though.

[2568] Is this going to knock, kick you off of YouTube and all that?

[2569] Is he going to take yourself on YouTube?

[2570] No. They don't like it.

[2571] Yeah?

[2572] Yeah, they don't.

[2573] Listen to this.

[2574] We might have to edit this.

[2575] Do the kids pop version.

[2576] Don't put the videos.

[2577] A lot of work for this guy.

[2578] It's not that simple.

[2579] You got to see the video.

[2580] We'll see what he looks like.

[2581] This is him?

[2582] This is suicide music.

[2583] Cut it out.

[2584] There's a bad jam.

[2585] Stop it now.

[2586] It's a bad jam.

[2587] This is Tyrone.

[2588] This is tremendous.

[2589] Yeah.

[2590] This is one of those songs you listen to Of your grandmother's house Gotta get outside For a walk This is a bad jam jump I gotta get out of the house This guy's a fucking tremendous It's snowing out I don't care I gotta get I gotta walk Look at him He's dressed like an eagle Think he's a bird You have to see this fucking now I always wonder what happens to these guys Guys are like rock stars And then they just stop They just stop Like what is strange I guarantee this guy had so much talent This guy wrote for people He gets a fucking He gets received from all this dough on the radio, you know, with all this classic rock and all these serious and the same money we get from, what's that check?

[2591] Who sends us to a check once a quarter for a shit on the radio?

[2592] They get.

[2593] And in Boulder, I used to be friends with a guy that was a radio police.

[2594] Okay?

[2595] He was the radio police.

[2596] And what he did was he made sure that you got paid for your stuff.

[2597] The radio police?

[2598] He worked for the radio police in Denver.

[2599] No, he didn't have a dad.

[2600] He was a white dude.

[2601] Nice guy.

[2602] I meant to let the car wash. What's in here?

[2603] Curig K cups.

[2604] Hash oil, marijuana, in a K -cup form.

[2605] I got to put some sugar in this motherfucker.

[2606] No, you don't.

[2607] It's sweet enough.

[2608] The universe, the experience is very sweet.

[2609] No. What we talk about?

[2610] It's empty.

[2611] Have you tried the liquid stevia?

[2612] We got more of it?

[2613] I got sugar.

[2614] Oh, we got sugar for you.

[2615] Yeah, I'll take some sugar in this.

[2616] That's a motherfucker.

[2617] You know what I'm saying?

[2618] Liquid stevia?

[2619] That's dangerous.

[2620] It's like an eyedropper?

[2621] Yeah, it's like a one or two drop.

[2622] It's so strong.

[2623] Stevia could really fuck up a drink if you're not paying attention.

[2624] Hello, it's me. Yeah.

[2625] Well, you know.

[2626] The fuck.

[2627] What's you going to do?

[2628] What's this?

[2629] Sugar, bitch.

[2630] I'm Cuban.

[2631] I got a sweet tooth.

[2632] You're going to give me two packets.

[2633] I got diabetes.

[2634] How many packets do you use?

[2635] Fucking 18.

[2636] Raw sugars.

[2637] How many, it's a half a cup of coffee?

[2638] How many sugars would you put in there normally?

[2639] I don't fucking know.

[2640] Raw sugar's kind of...

[2641] What would you do if I was in here?

[2642] I put that stevia shit in there.

[2643] No, that's broken.

[2644] No, the other shit.

[2645] That's what I use.

[2646] I use the sweetness.

[2647] That, uh, your boy sent me. Stevia?

[2648] Yeah, what the fuck he sent me?

[2649] He used?

[2650] I don't use sugar at all.

[2651] But yet you're using four.

[2652] What gives a fuck?

[2653] I'm with you guys.

[2654] I'm partying with you, you're partying with you, you're partying with you, you're partying with you, once you drink that, once you drink that.

[2655] Oh, I got a half of brownie and me. I got a half, listen, I did my first morning joining 9 a .m. Did you?

[2656] What the fuck you've been?

[2657] Oh, I wanted to talk to you about that.

[2658] Talk to me. Your pariscoop show.

[2659] Where's the stirers for Joey?

[2660] I got, I'm good.

[2661] I'm good.

[2662] This tastes like dick.

[2663] You know that?

[2664] This tastes like fucking dick.

[2665] I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

[2666] It's not supposed to be good.

[2667] It's supposed to be good in the effects.

[2668] When I drank a star, it's fucking good.

[2669] It's jello.

[2670] Drink that.

[2671] This is dick.

[2672] No, no, no. It tastes like a guy that smoked bottle all night.

[2673] You suck his dick.

[2674] This is it comes out of his dick.

[2675] This tea and see coffee.

[2676] He ate in asparagus salad and smoked weed.

[2677] Hello, it's me. What's the story?

[2678] Your Periscope show.

[2679] Every morning.

[2680] You're doing the joint.

[2681] What is it?

[2682] Say it again.

[2683] Tell me. The morning joint with Uncle Joey about, I do it about five after eight if the baby lets me go outside.

[2684] Five after eight in the morning.

[2685] Yeah.

[2686] You stand outside for like a couple minutes and just do Parascope.

[2687] I smoke three, four bowls, two different weeds, maybe a little hashish.

[2688] And I wake the people up.

[2689] I give some motivational terms.

[2690] I tell the people that grab their dick like today.

[2691] The saying of the day was either they're going to suck your dick or they're going to suck your dick.

[2692] Either way, you win.

[2693] You know what I'm saying?

[2694] Wow, that's really clever.

[2695] Did you write that out?

[2696] Sure.

[2697] And Confucius says, either you're going to suck my dick today or you're going to suck my dick tomorrow, but you're going to suck my dick somewhere along the line.

[2698] That's how you have to leave the house in the morning.

[2699] When I leave the house, I'm scared.

[2700] I've got to fucking get myself fired up in the shower and let people know that when I'm going out there, somebody's going to suck your dick today, whether they want or not.

[2701] That's what you're scared of?

[2702] No, I'm scared of fucking.

[2703] There you go.

[2704] Joy, do you ever have them delete any of your stuff?

[2705] No, I don't know.

[2706] I don't know nothing about Periscope.

[2707] I just do them and I fucking move on with my life.

[2708] It's a beautiful day to be alive.

[2709] The clown is up.

[2710] Who gives a fuck?

[2711] You're showing up with some mad motherfucking sunshine in your heart and in your ballsack.

[2712] You understand?

[2713] Like the man said, they got two options today to suck your dick or to suck your dick.

[2714] That's their option.

[2715] So, who gives a fuck?

[2716] This is how you wake up.

[2717] What's up with the chitter -chatter?

[2718] You know, we've been waiting for 20 fucking minutes.

[2719] Now you want to show up a day late and a dollar fucking short.

[2720] Let's get this fucking party started.

[2721] We're going to open up today with the zombie weed.

[2722] By the way, you know, you know.

[2723] Okay.

[2724] Okay, I know exactly what I'm doing tomorrow.

[2725] I'm setting my alarm clock, and I'm going to be a part of this.

[2726] I usually watch you right when I'm going to bed.

[2727] You do it really early sometimes.

[2728] You know what I'm going to do, man?

[2729] I want to get one of those iPhone things for the car, you know?

[2730] You got one that...

[2731] It's illegal, by the way.

[2732] It's a periscope while you're driving.

[2733] It's illegal to do it on the...

[2734] I have a windshield mountain in California.

[2735] Windshield.

[2736] Because it's in front of you.

[2737] Or anything on your windshield.

[2738] So you can do that.

[2739] No, you know on the windshield.

[2740] You're doing the dash, right?

[2741] Well, no, you could do it like on the vents.

[2742] They have the ones that snap into vents and come up like that.

[2743] Oh, but it's not illegal at Periscope while you're driving.

[2744] I think it is.

[2745] I definitely think it is.

[2746] Really?

[2747] Yeah, because you're kind of not paying attention to the road.

[2748] But you are if you just turn it on while you're driving.

[2749] If you're parked, you turn it on and you go, okay, it's on, here we go.

[2750] We want to work.

[2751] I don't think they can stop you from doing that.

[2752] I think that's fine.

[2753] Because you could drive like that with GoPro's because that's how those shows get made.

[2754] Yeah.

[2755] Like drive, that drive channel on YouTube, I was with those guys.

[2756] Matt Farad, dude, he's got all these GoPro's inside of his car, so you could definitely do that.

[2757] I, uh, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I delete them right after, though.

[2758] It's like, I don't know.

[2759] Look, there's cloud.

[2760] Look at this.

[2761] That's like the fucking forest fire.

[2762] They're fighting in Big Bear right now.

[2763] They, uh, 12, 30, 1 o 'clock.

[2764] They deleted one of my periscopes.

[2765] Why?

[2766] Because I, I have this thing where I eat shitty food in the shower and, like, review it.

[2767] And I was doing Taco Bell.

[2768] Like I had like a nacho Belgronde and I was just drinking all the water and like like a soup I got something because it was too gross I think what the fuck you're eating food I know But why they censoring I think they might I don't know why but it was available for like an hour and then they just pulled it and I don't know if it was I heard that people are upset at you that you're wasting water It's a six minute shower and I'm taking a real shower while I'm eating Yeah, but you're you're you I'm not defending or attacking you right people were upset you were wasting water Well, I understand those complaints, but when I do a shower scope, I try not to shower for four days straight, so it's...

[2769] Can't argue with that, ladies and gentlemen.

[2770] How many minutes show off your fucking high horse?

[2771] How many minutes shower can I take?

[2772] Five minutes a day.

[2773] I don't know.

[2774] Who fucking shuts down the golf course, and when's that happening?

[2775] Because until then, fuck yourself.

[2776] Because they're using millions of gallons of water.

[2777] Until you're shutting down the golf course, fuck off.

[2778] Because that's 100 % for entertainment.

[2779] 100%.

[2780] He's at least taking a convertory effort.

[2781] of entertainment and a shower.

[2782] I take two, three showers a day, and I take my time.

[2783] I get the lufa.

[2784] Nice.

[2785] I got the asshole lufa.

[2786] You got the lufo with a stick?

[2787] I made an asshole lufa dog.

[2788] You made it?

[2789] A little lufo with a cuttip just to wash the barnacles around the muffler.

[2790] Sure.

[2791] She's a dukelet.

[2792] They'll get stuck in there, and you won't even know.

[2793] No, I did the colonoscopy.

[2794] I looked at my head.

[2795] I didn't want to go in there with a dirty ass home.

[2796] Just used a shower.

[2797] What are you wanted for your colonoscopy, dog?

[2798] Pretty soon, cock suck.

[2799] I've had a finger in my butt.

[2800] No, not the finger when they stick the camera in there and look around.

[2801] Doctor had to check around They got to look around It's very uncomfortable You don't even make eye contact You don't even make eye contact with these Look around your asshole Yeah I'm avoiding shoulder surgery I've got some tears Some small tears in my labrum So I've been going through Regenicine and physical therapy And all this different shit for it It's my latest health issue It's fascinating shit to feel your joints Given out And to realize This might have to get fixed I'm going to have to get this one fixed It's not quite at the point where I got to get it fixed Like the thing I could rejuvenate it to the point Like it's weird because it's still strong But it just gets sore after I use it And there's apparently some bone chips in there From jujitsu From my knee hurts But what I'm gonna do?

[2802] Oh my god like cry to Oh my knee hurts Again the one I just had surgery You should look into that regenericine shit What's Regeniccine?

[2803] Regenicons are the blood -spinting procedure They take your blood out with Kobe Bryant All these guys used to go to Germany for Now they have a place in Santa Monica and just massive anti -flammatories.

[2804] They take out.

[2805] They take out some blood.

[2806] That's when we have a problem.

[2807] They take out some blood.

[2808] You got a tube.

[2809] Whatever a tube is, you got a tube.

[2810] They got a few tubes.

[2811] No, they can't do it.

[2812] And they're big tubes, too, no, no, no. They're taking two big tubes and a couple small tubes.

[2813] They get that bass drum, air fucking compressor, and they fucking banged it out of your blood.

[2814] That's why I didn't go to the thing, the Salvation Army.

[2815] They went 16 ounces of blood.

[2816] Are you kidding about your blood?

[2817] They got to go, what are you been doing?

[2818] You know what, bro, I try to give blood once a month His blood smells like weed I go to a doctor with some fake fucking excuse Because people, that's why women don't get heart attacks Because they bleed once a month Yeah, that's why Because they bleed once in a month They change up their fucking blood You make new fucking blood That's why women don't get heart attacks Because every month they need iron To make new fucking blood But we don't bleed like women So that's why it's good when men go get blood Because if your body rejuvenates new fucking blood Even if it's four fucking ounces What do you think you're dealing with?

[2819] Is that what's true?

[2820] Then dudes who did coke would bleed more out of their noses so they would probably live longer.

[2821] What are you talking about?

[2822] I'm telling you right now that the reason women don't die as many heart attacks as men is because they don't bleed out the fucking monkey.

[2823] I think the reason why they probably don't die as much because they don't date as many women.

[2824] So if you're over 40, go give blood once a month.

[2825] There's a couple tubes so your body starts from scratch.

[2826] I'm telling you, Joe, Roe.

[2827] I think when women are not dating women, it saves a lot of stress.

[2828] That's a good point.

[2829] And I think with this gay marriage thing, you're going to see a rise in heart attacks from women.

[2830] Lesbian art attacks Once they get the bill From the lawyer The alimony What fucking out Bitch get a job I'm not your mother I didn't get birth to you You didn't have fucking kids with me God damn it Melissa Etheridge was really funny When she was talking about that She gives the alimony Two different chicks I go what happened She goes Bitches are crazy Melissa Ethridge She's a gay She's a badass bitch She's a badass bitch She's a badass bitch Lady I say that with all due respect I call you a badass bitch I call anybody I love a badass bitch Look at you you badass bitch That's 100 % respectful Where you're at this weekend Do you start the theater?

[2831] Just the Cah Theater at the MGM With Tommy Segura and Tony Hinchcliffe In Vegas the night before the big fights I'm gonna miss you guys I'm gonna miss you too Where you at?

[2832] I'm at the Atlanta Impro Cool I heard that's a good spot Nice spot Brian Caller is a king He's a king there Yeah that's the way on the street They don't have the punchline anymore.

[2833] But they did a punchline comedy night at a fucking backyard the other day.

[2834] They had some gated community.

[2835] They have some crazy community.

[2836] And somewhere outside of Atlanta, it's like one of those engineered communities.

[2837] They have all these recreations.

[2838] It's a gated community.

[2839] But they had this, the punchline, had a punchline comedy night.

[2840] And all these people are sitting outside.

[2841] And they decided to have a comedy night at their...

[2842] Did you say the punchline's not open anymore?

[2843] It's not open anymore.

[2844] What they did to the building are what happened?

[2845] I think they lost their lease.

[2846] I'm assuming, but they've been there forever, forever.

[2847] Or they might have decided it doesn't make sense to keep the lease.

[2848] I don't know exactly what happened.

[2849] Yeah.

[2850] But they're looking for another spot.

[2851] That green room sucked anyway.

[2852] No, it was kind of cool.

[2853] That was the green room that had a little sign on the wall that said, quit trying to be Hicks.

[2854] Yeah.

[2855] But you also got trapped there, like, because you had the only way to enter or exit the green room was walking through the whole entire our audience.

[2856] That's also the green room where Seth Petrizelli fought Kimbo Slice, and I called the fight, like, right before it happened.

[2857] Like his Ken Shamrock got injured warming up for the first fight, and then all of a sudden, instead of Ken, Kimbo sliced out of fight Seth Petrizelli, and I went, what?

[2858] And as soon as I saw it, I'm like, oh, my God, Seth Petrazelli's going to fuck him up.

[2859] Like, this is a terrible fight for him.

[2860] Petrazzelli's a bad motherfucker.

[2861] So I watched that.

[2862] I was like, this is a terrible matchup.

[2863] And everybody's like, you're crazy.

[2864] Kimbo's a world beater.

[2865] I'm like, dude, wait, do you see what happens here?

[2866] And it happened within, like, eight seconds.

[2867] Just as soon as the fight started, Petruzelli knocks him out and I go see I called it Seth Petrizelli's a bad motherfucker but I was like if what I didn't call it you would never see this this would we would hide this it was a crazy little green room man that was a good little spot yeah I mean just walking to it suck I always there was a back door or something to it yeah walking suck but that was part of the fun of that club it was kind of wonky yeah you know this that weird wonky upstairs remember it's that weird spot you know to show it that manly beard god damn I grow another beard I always died and slow death at that club What's that?

[2868] I always die the slow.

[2869] You wouldn't now.

[2870] Guarantee you, and people know what the fuck you're doing.

[2871] When I used to bring you there, people don't know what to make of you.

[2872] Oh, my God.

[2873] They were so confused.

[2874] They fucking hated me there.

[2875] Well, you were in this position back then where either they got it or they didn't.

[2876] No, but I wasn't working hard then either.

[2877] I was going up that coked up, like from the night before, not even feeling it.

[2878] You know, when you have coke in your blood from the night before, dog.

[2879] Does it depress you the next day?

[2880] No, it wasn't a depression.

[2881] It's like, you know, you got high.

[2882] Like, I would get high like Mondays, Wednesdays, and then the fucking weekend was coming.

[2883] You got a warm -up, you know?

[2884] And the first night, you'd have, like, a good show.

[2885] Thursday, I'd have a good show, but then I got a hold of that shit.

[2886] And then Friday was rough, and then Saturday was even rough because you're more, you're more discommunicated.

[2887] You're more disconnected, is the word.

[2888] So I would go up there, die, and then have to see those people, and I fucking hated them, and they hated me. you know it was uh so for the longest time for you that cocaine was a real like a real anchor around your neck 30 fucking years i was telling my wife this morning the whole 90s you figure the whole 90s how did you how did you kick it how i kick it i told you i just kicked it i don't fucking know i just i just didn't want i didn't want listen bro like i told you my i have a fucking revenge gene okay it i'd rather fucking get 10 dicks up your ass than have somebody come to you and say Joey Diaz die from an overdose.

[2889] I was not going to let that happen.

[2890] I was not going to let people come up to you and go, see, I told you.

[2891] And I definitely want my wife to find me on the floor.

[2892] Listen, you could find me on the floor.

[2893] Red Band could never handle it.

[2894] Red Band would never be the same again if he found me on the floor.

[2895] Never.

[2896] Red band would fucking God, because he doesn't have that DNA.

[2897] Neither of this poor guy.

[2898] You do.

[2899] You could find anybody on the floor.

[2900] It would be tough for you to deal.

[2901] I don't know what to think about that.

[2902] It'd be tough for you to deal.

[2903] You're a strong, you know what I'm saying?

[2904] You would put it in perspective a lot quicker than Red Band could.

[2905] Red Band would take two years.

[2906] Talking about him, like, he's not right there.

[2907] I'm not saying, I'm not saying something bad about Red Band.

[2908] Red Band's got a great soul.

[2909] When I first met Red Band, I would talk.

[2910] This kid would leave the room.

[2911] He didn't know what to make him.

[2912] The Columbus Days?

[2913] Yeah, yeah.

[2914] I mean, he didn't know.

[2915] So what I'm saying is there's some people who could find a guy on the floor and live with it.

[2916] And there's some people who can't.

[2917] digest it they can't i didn't want two things i didn't want terry finding me on the floor i definitely don't want to die in a hotel room on the fucking road right and that was my main playground you know what that i'm embarrassed not is they gotta go get you in the hotel room naked that's what i'm jumping with jerk off juice on your leg hopefully and some chick who left at three in the morning and then people are going to say i told you jo rogan that was never going to happen in my lifetime in my lifetime that was not going to happen i was not going to hold me from coke i couldn't give them the satisfaction even after the fucking fact That's how deep my revenge gene runs.

[2918] Wow, that's hilarious.

[2919] So you, you got clean because you wanted to get back at the people that would have been happy if you died.

[2920] Oh, please, would have been happy if I died from that.

[2921] They would have loved to look at you in the face and go, I told you so.

[2922] There's people that live for that shit, that once they have an opinion, they live by it.

[2923] Let me tell you something, though.

[2924] I've said, I told you so.

[2925] A shitload of times now.

[2926] I get to say I told you so now.

[2927] I get to say I told you so to a lot of fucking agents I've had some I had some stupid conversations with people back in the day stupid where they were trying to tell me you weren't talented you weren't funny I'm like you need to shut the fuck up I don't know what you're talking about listen man when you're on the drug when you're on any drug you get stuck in that emotional state where you started that drug where that drug really became something else for you listen when we do when I go right when I leave now and I go to pharmacist and I get anavar starts off great I eat one out of all three times a day What's an anavar?

[2928] Anavar is a steroid, a light steroid to get to burn victim.

[2929] Oh, okay, I've heard of that.

[2930] Okay, but once I start seeing that thing, then I've become something else, when chicks start coming up to me and going, Joey, we love your arms and we love your back, it becomes an emotional thing.

[2931] Okay.

[2932] So now I'm shooting Decker.

[2933] Now I'm trying, I'm chasing that dragon, that feeling.

[2934] Well, when you start doing, you do a fucking line of Coke because you're an emotional fucking wreck, okay, when you do it.

[2935] You don't even know it at times.

[2936] You become an emotional wreck from any drug, those pills.

[2937] So for me, I got stuck emotionally.

[2938] me the anger was stuck in me you can't move forward we've had this discussion you can't move forward well you've always said that it like it shuts off your soul sure it does yeah that's the way you described it was like you just became a blank sure it does I wasn't happy I wasn't sad I wasn't mad I wasn't any of the above I had no emotions you fake the flunk in a way in those days you still were Joey Diaz oh I could still throw some fucking heat if you caught me after two days if I sat down with a notebook but it wasn't still You know, you still had a lot of talent.

[2939] You know, there's still something about you that just, it was about you catching it.

[2940] I remember one time we worked together in Rascals, the West Orange.

[2941] West Orange.

[2942] Yeah, Rascals and West Orange.

[2943] And it was at the time where you made the transition.

[2944] You know how Nicole or Caitlin Jenner came, that was a transition?

[2945] There was a transition where you went from Joey Diaz, the guy who wants to be a comedian to Joey Diaz, a great.

[2946] comedian and then I watched it happen and happened really quickly that was what was weird I was like you had this period of time where you were real hit and miss you know and you know if you went down you went down hard and you would go to sometimes you'd bomb like multiple sets in a row and just wasn't wasn't clicking and then boom you you hit on it and figured out what a fucking what it was and it almost like you released something like you had like a demon inside you pulled it out and you've released it and then all of a sudden you were crushing I remember I remember, I think it was Tripoli and I were in the back by the back hallway, and it was like one of the times where you just really started crushing.

[2947] And Tripoli was like, Joey Diaz is on another level.

[2948] I go, yeah, man. Like, what the fuck?

[2949] Like, you just caught it.

[2950] You, like, you caught a wave.

[2951] And all of a sudden you were surfing.

[2952] And then from then on, you figured it out.

[2953] It was crazy.

[2954] Like, you went from being, like, a really funny guy off stage and an occasionally funny guy on stage, but often mediocre, to a monster.

[2955] Just monster like there was nights in the OR where you were destroying and we were falling out of the back stairs We would leave like laughing so hard.

[2956] We would go down the back stairs out into the hallway and there'd be like two or three guys Slapping their leg laughing I'd be dying on st - I love that original room Listen the original room brings something out of you We're out of time.

[2957] We're out of time.

[2958] I love you man. I love you for having me always any time It was fun at our 4th of July Barbecue too Yeah, great to see you too Jamie, yuck.

[2959] Yuck.

[2960] I'm going to go home now and take the swimming.

[2961] That's always a fucking blast.

[2962] His daughter just says yuck at everything.

[2963] First time she met me, she was yuck.

[2964] But then she kissed you.

[2965] She's kissed me. She's kissed me. And she's yuck to everything.

[2966] Do you want to have some of this?

[2967] Yuck.

[2968] But I showed her some ice cream and she was like, oh, then that was our best friend.

[2969] Then it was vanilla ice cream, man. Joey Diaz, what is it, the Periscope?

[2970] How do people get to it?

[2971] I don't know.

[2972] Oh, okay.

[2973] Follow them on Twitter.

[2974] It tweets it.

[2975] Yeah.

[2976] Follow on Twitter.

[2977] I always put it up on Twitter five minutes.

[2978] What time in the morning?

[2979] Five after eight.

[2980] Five after eight.

[2981] You got to check that out.

[2982] Get your day started off with that.

[2983] Of course, Mad Flavor on Twitter.

[2984] Red Band on Twitter.

[2985] Show's coming up.

[2986] Next week in Toronto.

[2987] And this week, Wednesday, Comedy Store with Steveo.

[2988] Good.

[2989] Googly, mugly.

[2990] All right, friends, we'll see you soon.

[2991] Bye -bye.

[2992] Love you guys.