Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard XX
[0] How are you?
[1] I'm a little sleepy.
[2] Me too.
[3] I knew it.
[4] I'm so tired.
[5] Yeah.
[6] It's the last time we're saving daylight.
[7] No, this is the good kind.
[8] It's the good kind, but it's over.
[9] This is the last time we're doing it in our lifetime.
[10] Well, this is the last time we're going back to, like, we're keeping this.
[11] Right.
[12] Although, I think you're wrong.
[13] We voted for it.
[14] I think it starts next year.
[15] We looked it up on a fact check, and it has to pass, like, federally.
[16] passed it here some years ago and it like had some stipulation on it but we were like why isn't it happened yet didn't we all vote for this i'm so confused then we looked it up and really it's like the first step of many steps okay i heard something different but i also don't remember who said it where i was in the context but someone over the weekend was like this is the last time and then i just believed them okay let let me look it up okay only to end in november but that won't be permanent.
[17] Time ran out for a proposal that cleared a major hurdle in Congress in 2022 to end the decades -old practice of making Americans change their clocks biannually.
[18] And a new version for the new Congress that took office the following January has been languishing in committees for a year.
[19] Under the 2022 measure, daylight savings time would have been made permanent.
[20] And if the bill was signed into law, most Americans have shifted their clocks one hour forward last March and left them that way.
[21] As it stands now, those clocks, will need to be shifted forward an hour on Sunday when standard time ends and then we'll fall back again in November.
[22] But then that's it?
[23] No. Okay.
[24] It's about this proposal.
[25] Like it hasn't passed.
[26] Like every other thing in Congress.
[27] Great.
[28] So we're still in it for now.
[29] So we have to just embrace it because this is, I'm so much happier.
[30] Yesterday at seven, it was light out.
[31] It was light out.
[32] Oh, and I loved it.
[33] I loved it.
[34] I am very tired, but I don't think that has to do with daylight savings.
[35] I think that is so much travel and, period, hormones.
[36] Hormones.
[37] Speaking of hours and sleep, you need an extra hour of sleep when you're on your menstrual cycle.
[38] And they just did some groundbreaking research that shows that the whole, like, you need eight hours a night is based on, obviously, male bodies.
[39] And the actual number for women is nine.
[40] 12 hours 12 is yeah the preference 9 that's where I feel best me too so you need 10 when you're on your menstrual cycle which honestly checks out it does check out to be normal not to be like great because we're making stuff our bodies are shedding bleeding I mean bleeding we're losing so much iron yes your iron could also be low it could it's normally not like when I get it checked and I'm on vitamins.
[41] But wait, okay, hold on.
[42] So I'm trying to do some math because on Saturday night we got home from Austin.
[43] We'll talk about Austin.
[44] I was in bed at nine and I was fully asleep by 10.
[45] Then I woke up at, I want to say 10, but was 9.
[46] It's 11, which is a lot.
[47] It's an hour more than the minimum you need.
[48] It's not funny.
[49] It's true.
[50] It's normal.
[51] What if we say like 15 hours?
[52] But 15 is only like three hours more.
[53] I mean, but it's just like a lot of things.
[54] You know, it's like when I learned about the temperature thing that they were basing all the temperatures of all the offices based on men's body.
[55] Wait, what?
[56] You don't know this?
[57] No, tell me. Oh, my God.
[58] What?
[59] This felt like a peak.
[60] 2017 article.
[61] No, maybe 2015.
[62] It was pre -Trump.
[63] What they did is they were testing people without realizing that people were just dudes.
[64] And then they started testing women and realized that our body temperatures are, I think, 1 .5 or 2 degrees lower than men.
[65] And so we need a different temperature.
[66] We needed to be warmer, but it's set to men's body temperatures.
[67] So that's why if you are cold at work, if you had, like me, needed your own, like not only snuggy, but my own heater, which was a legal, whatever.
[68] I would only turn it on when I was there and I would unplug it every night.
[69] But I needed both of those things just to be regulated.
[70] Oh my God.
[71] And so, like our bodies are always right.
[72] Yeah, they are.
[73] They tell us the truth.
[74] Yes.
[75] Okay.
[76] Did you ever accidentally leave the heater on?
[77] Tell me the truth.
[78] Not at work.
[79] Are you sure?
[80] I was not allowed.
[81] Whatever, it's too late.
[82] You can't arrest me. It's way too late.
[83] But I would kind of have to hide it at night.
[84] So there was a whole ritual.
[85] But it's so nice.
[86] But you didn't ever forget.
[87] No. You were home and you're like, oh, fuck.
[88] No, no, because those little heaters, like, most people are like don't even buy those.
[89] But I love them.
[90] I love just having like warm heat on my, like on me. Like it's, I have a little fireplace heater in my room.
[91] And I. What's that mean?
[92] It looks like a fireplace?
[93] It looks like a cute.
[94] And I use it.
[95] It's bad, but I use it sometimes even in the summer because I'll just get like, I just get cold and then I really need that but you don't get cold no I do I run very cold he's never been too cold here it gets cold in here Dax runs hot but I normally am wearing sweaters and stuff I'm normally okay right it's been a conversation that I'm always cold and he's right right right that wow and it's a thing like even I worked at me a company where me and the CEO would constantly get like it was a smaller startup so like I would go and like put up the he and he would go and put it down like and it fights silent silent fights over the, you know, and it's such a dad thing, right?
[96] Your dad sets the temperature super low and then it's just terrible.
[97] But that feels more like, like my parents always leave it so cold in the winter and so hot in the summer.
[98] Me too.
[99] Oh my God, me too.
[100] Why?
[101] Because money.
[102] It's a frugal thing.
[103] It is a frugal thing.
[104] Exactly.
[105] It makes so annoying.
[106] But now they know, like now they're scared of me. So when I'm home, me too.
[107] They adjusted.
[108] Oh, my God.
[109] We're like tyrants.
[110] Temperature tyrant.
[111] Well, I think they're more like, I don't want to hear this complaint.
[112] When did it start?
[113] Because my dad would still really get mad.
[114] And then I think two years ago, it's like when they also realized, like, we got to make sure she's having a good time.
[115] We got to come back.
[116] Yeah, exactly.
[117] And one time, okay, there's something about my room in my parents' house, where it's positioned or something, it's frigid in there.
[118] Like, it is so cold.
[119] And they don't know that because they're never in there.
[120] It's like, it's a guest room.
[121] And so one time I think someone was in there and they were like, oh, yeah, it's freezing.
[122] Sometimes I think there's a problem with me because I'm worse than other women.
[123] This is absurd.
[124] But when I got to my hotel room in Austin, immediately I come in.
[125] I've never set foot in a hotel room where I've felt that it's not icy cold and I set it to 80.
[126] 80?
[127] No, but even when I said it to 80, it's not even warm enough.
[128] I think hotel rooms have a thing where, like, they don't really set it to 80, but 80 is the max.
[129] And that's where I go.
[130] I'm always, no matter what.
[131] Anyway, it's, it's, yeah.
[132] Okay, Austin.
[133] We went to brunch, as we promised.
[134] True.
[135] Both were delicious.
[136] Laundarette.
[137] So good.
[138] That was a place we went last time, so we revisited, which was fun.
[139] That's our place now.
[140] Do we say we had a P .E .N. I meant?
[141] We had a P .N. event.
[142] And if you want to know about it, you should watch our social video.
[143] And then we went to Josephine House the next day, which was also, oh my God, so good.
[144] I was thinking about, I had it like a croissant breakfast sandwich.
[145] I was thinking about it again later that day.
[146] Like, I wanted more.
[147] It looked good.
[148] Also, when you walk in, there were an array of pastries welcoming you.
[149] I had a Nutella morning bun.
[150] Okay, I have a question.
[151] What's your protocol?
[152] Because this, this range for people across the board.
[153] If you're generally, like, eating healthy or you're actively trying to eat healthy, if you're on vacation, do you keep that up or do you abandon ship?
[154] I definitely abandoned ship.
[155] I mean, I had a coffee.
[156] I had a cappuccino.
[157] You had a coffee.
[158] Which I haven't done it in a long time.
[159] I also drank the night before.
[160] But it was boy -related as you already told us last week.
[161] Yeah.
[162] That's how I have to if I'm around.
[163] crush.
[164] And even I've heard, I don't know, I was reading about this, people are getting off Ozempic for holidays because they want to like take advantage.
[165] Because it's kind of part of the whole thing, right?
[166] Like eating, you know, it's indulging.
[167] Exactly.
[168] And it's the first thing you kind of ask people like, oh, what restaurants did you go to?
[169] Like, what did you eat?
[170] And even when I think back at vacations or the first thing I told Rob was like, we went to this amazing brunch place.
[171] We had these amazing chips.
[172] It's a memory that really stays.
[173] Sense memory.
[174] I'm, fully abandoned ship.
[175] I don't even think twice.
[176] I want everything if I'm on vacation or if I'm in a different city.
[177] Because it's limited a dish.
[178] How many times are you going to be able to eat this food?
[179] You've got to eat it while you can.
[180] That's true.
[181] And when it's especially like something that's native to that place, like Nutella morning bun.
[182] That's just in Boston.
[183] I want that.
[184] Yeah.
[185] I want it to.
[186] I want it right now.
[187] Now I'm upset.
[188] I think maybe that we could find an alternative.
[189] No, there's no alternatives.
[190] It was so good.
[191] Do you feel like guilty when you eat things that aren't unhealthy if you're breaking like a pattern?
[192] Yeah.
[193] I don't feel guilty, but when I get back, I'm like, oh boy, like now it feels like a restart of being healthy.
[194] Although I don't do that very often.
[195] I'm not on a strict regimen very often.
[196] Every now and then, I'll like slip into that and I can feel myself slipping in and feeling like obsessive.
[197] I try to adjust that.
[198] Like, that's not healthy for me to be hyper obsessive about being perfectly clean or so healthy.
[199] So that's not my standard operation mode.
[200] It's just every now and then I can find myself slipping into that.
[201] But yeah, right now, I'm just like generally healthy.
[202] Yeah.
[203] So then going on vacation didn't feel like such a major deal.
[204] I mean, we were with Dax, right?
[205] And he tries hard.
[206] Sometimes he slips on purpose.
[207] But he sticks pretty much to his.
[208] diet.
[209] And he was working out.
[210] Yeah, and he works out.
[211] I mean, that's hard to keep up all of those things when you're traveling.
[212] I feel like you have such a healthy relationship with food that I don't even think I've ever seen you like try to be careful, try to be.
[213] Yeah.
[214] It's really rare.
[215] Yeah.
[216] I think it's great.
[217] I've also never seen you like indulge in it, right?
[218] Like, I feel like you're just even healed.
[219] I can be pretty moderate with food.
[220] I don't know why.
[221] I think actually, okay, two things.
[222] One, I don't have a scarcity mentality at all with food.
[223] As you just said, I got a croissant sandwich.
[224] I got a morning bun.
[225] I got bacon.
[226] Like, oh, and we've talked about this before.
[227] And this is controversial.
[228] I am okay wasting.
[229] So I don't order a thing and then feel like, oh my God, if I don't eat it all, I am either a bad person or I didn't have a childhood where you had to like clean plate club.
[230] I didn't have.
[231] have that.
[232] So I'm not obsessed with finishing my food.
[233] And I think that's helpful for me because I still order what I want and I'm not like, oh, God, I want three things so bad and I can't decide and what am I going to do because I really want three things and I'll order it.
[234] And then I'll have like a little bit of each thing and I'll feel satisfied.
[235] So it's because I like am willy -nilly, I think that I'm actually able to be moderate in the eating practice.
[236] Does that make any sense?
[237] No, wait, like, genuinely does.
[238] And before you came in, Rob and I were just talking about, like, you're at a restaurant and the waiter brings you, like, an extra dessert or like, and then you're, you can't eat it.
[239] You're not hungry or you're just full.
[240] And I get so much anxiety over it that I'll move the food around.
[241] I'll be like, let's put some in my purse.
[242] Oh, my God.
[243] So codependent.
[244] It's so weird.
[245] So I have, like, the opposite.
[246] it.
[247] I'm on a not daily basis, but weekly basis, worry about I'll be there and I won't be able to eat.
[248] Or like when I travel, for example.
[249] But it's not factual.
[250] It's definitely an anxiety about being hungry and not having access to food.
[251] And so I'll eat a lot if I have it or I'll eat more than I need because I'm like, in case I store.
[252] Yeah, it's so, even though it's rare that there's a place where you literally can't get like a, you know, granola bar.
[253] But I get nervous about if like I'm on a plane and there's like a delay and I don't know how long it's going to last.
[254] I'm like, what if I get really?
[255] I don't know.
[256] It's like I'll like get anxious about it.
[257] You think about it.
[258] Your brain goes there.
[259] Yes.
[260] Is that from childhood?
[261] I don't know.
[262] Did you have clean plate club?
[263] Oh, for sure.
[264] Yeah.
[265] Oh, well, your parents, yeah, like are against waste.
[266] I mean, against is, is not even their position.
[267] It's like, it is your, do you think your parents will think I'm a bad person if I meet them?
[268] No. No. Because what if we go to a restaurant.
[269] No, no, no, no. Look, if you were at their house, if you didn't finish your plate, that's no one will ever be mad.
[270] But if you like throw away a big thing in front of them, they'd be like, wait, why are you throwing that out?
[271] But they would never, no, no, no, no. But what about your parents wouldn't?
[272] Well, I was so picky as a kid.
[273] I was so picky.
[274] So I think for them, it was a win if I just ate like some amount.
[275] Clean play club wasn't even on the table for them.
[276] Because it was just not.
[277] going to happen.
[278] And have I talked about this on here that one time, I have like this very specific memory of one time my mom made jambalaya.
[279] Oh, God.
[280] And I hated it.
[281] I didn't want it.
[282] I didn't like it.
[283] I'm sure it was like hard to make and a big deal.
[284] And I sat at that table for like three hours because she was wanting me to eat.
[285] I don't even think finish it, but maybe eat like so many bites.
[286] or something.
[287] And we just sat there for so long.
[288] And I hate Jamblaya.
[289] Like a stare down.
[290] I hate it.
[291] Can you imagine knowing me now what it was like for her to just like have this stubborn little child?
[292] She knew she couldn't win.
[293] She tried.
[294] Did she give up?
[295] Yeah.
[296] They would make me stay, because I refused to eat meat.
[297] And that was before being a vegetarian was like an acceptable lifestyle and so they would make me stay at the table for out like my mom would eventually kind of but if my mom was out of town or working or whatever and I think that's when I became a little bit manipulative I was like how do I get out of this and so I developed like you know I need to get what I want like I can't just tell the truth yeah it doesn't work doesn't work and so I would create all these like yeah I mean at the beginning I would throw some of the food under to the table, but I wouldn't throw it under my seat.
[298] I'd throw it under my sister's seat.
[299] If it was found, she didn't want to eat the food.
[300] I ate it, which is evil.
[301] So this is like why you're still putting stuff in your purse.
[302] It's like so unacceptable to put food, open food in your person on the floor and stuff.
[303] But I guess since you've been doing it since you're a little.
[304] We've traced it.
[305] We've traced it.
[306] Yeah, it's like, it's my go -to.
[307] And it's like I have to hide the food.
[308] Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, it's deep.
[309] So I was talking to this, I was whatever, on this, not on date, but like talking to this guy.
[310] And I always like to find out, like, what their thing is early on.
[311] What do you mean?
[312] Like their cork?
[313] No, what's their wound?
[314] Oh, trauma.
[315] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[316] Yeah, me too.
[317] Just because I want to, I want to know if we're, we have compatible wounds, okay?
[318] Yeah, I get it.
[319] And I'll usually bring up mine first.
[320] And he was like, oh, I don't know, I guess, like, he was like, I never had like really deep conversations with my parents.
[321] He kind of grew up not feeling like he could share his feelings.
[322] But is this your gate boyfriend?
[323] No, no. We never even met.
[324] It was like voice notes on an app.
[325] But I would obviously refer to my gay boyfriend as my gay boyfriend.
[326] That's what I thought.
[327] But this sounds like a similar thing with the gate boyfriend said.
[328] That's true.
[329] Oh, interesting.
[330] This is common.
[331] Yeah, it is.
[332] I mean, with men.
[333] And then he's like, we talked about the lot of stuff.
[334] Like, I don't even think it was that bad.
[335] But then he goes into this story later about how every Christmas his mom would make this oyster soup.
[336] Okay.
[337] Like Feast of the Seven Fishes.
[338] What's that?
[339] What's that?
[340] What's that?
[341] That's common for, I think Christmas Eve for Italian families.
[342] And each dish has like fish of some sort.
[343] I want to host it one day.
[344] I'll go and I will eat before.
[345] Eat around the fish.
[346] Okay.
[347] Sidebar, pin, I think we should get you a tiny bit into fish.
[348] I would like to get into fish.
[349] Or like salmon.
[350] Because you need the protein, I know.
[351] We're going to figure it out.
[352] Okay, anyway, back.
[353] Okay.
[354] So it's an oyster stew situation.
[355] Like, it just was slimy and gross for him as a kid.
[356] And he was like, yeah, and then every year I just would eat it.
[357] And I was like, what?
[358] And he was like, yeah, because I knew my mom, like, really put a lot of effort into it.
[359] So I would eat this thing that was just, but like, okay, it's one thing to eat it anyways, but that your parent knows that you don't like it.
[360] But to hide that you don't like something to your own parent, I think is like, I was like, wow, that's interesting.
[361] That's a revealing story because I just never, my parents knew exactly how I felt about.
[362] Oh, same thing.
[363] I was not trying to protect their feelings at all.
[364] If you're like a teenager and you're doing that, I think that's one thing.
[365] But if you're like a kid kid, you're thinking about your parents' feelings above your own.
[366] You're right.
[367] That's a problem.
[368] You shouldn't be prioritizing your parents' feelings when you're a kid.
[369] That's very codependent.
[370] Exactly.
[371] To fully psychoanalyze him based on one story, I think it's like because he couldn't be honest and himself with his parents, he was just like, oh, there's certain things.
[372] Like, I don't know how she's going to receive them that I don't like it.
[373] like it might break her or she might be too fragile for this.
[374] That's rough.
[375] And so she thought he liked it so she would make it every year.
[376] Oh.
[377] You know?
[378] Sick.
[379] Did he learn to love it?
[380] No, I don't.
[381] That's not.
[382] That doesn't seem that it's his favorite dish now.
[383] Well, yeah, it's like the jam black.
[384] Like, you're never going to like it.
[385] Even if your taste buds like it, you just can't like it emotionally.
[386] I think that's right.
[387] Some people say you don't like olives.
[388] You eat 10 olives.
[389] I think there's a number.
[390] I don't like olives.
[391] And then you'll like it.
[392] I know I'm trying.
[393] I don't like olives.
[394] I don't need to.
[395] They taste so bad to me. Me too, but I don't understand because everyone who likes them says they just taste like a salt little salt bomb, like really salty.
[396] And I love salt.
[397] Me too.
[398] I love salty foods.
[399] I love capers, which is essentially a small olive.
[400] But I there's something about it.
[401] No olives taste like diarrhea.
[402] Ew.
[403] Yeah, it does.
[404] That's what I imagine.
[405] It's like it has a. You've had diarrhea?
[406] I've had diarrhea.
[407] I've had diarrhea many times because my mom would make it every time.
[408] But no You don't want to hurt her feelings.
[409] I don't want her feelings.
[410] But olives like there'll be one little tiny piece in the salad.
[411] The whole thing is ruined.
[412] I know.
[413] Whole thing tastes like it.
[414] I agree.
[415] But I love olive oil.
[416] And I love olive oil cake.
[417] We love that.
[418] I know.
[419] I really want olive oil cake.
[420] I'll make it.
[421] Can you eat it?
[422] Gluen free.
[423] Okay, I'll look into it.
[424] I think there's actually some good gluten -free olive oil cakes.
[425] Like, it's kind of one of those that's like still good.
[426] So moist.
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[449] We were just talking about our hair health.
[450] We were at brunch.
[451] As one does.
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[470] Okay, speaking of Austin, we have things to talk about.
[471] So many, actually.
[472] One, first and foremost, so we were there, and we were there, and we were were leaving brunch.
[473] I had like 30 minutes before we had to do our thing.
[474] And you were deciding what to do.
[475] And I was like, maybe you should get a massage.
[476] And then you're like, maybe I'll get a wax.
[477] Oh, yeah.
[478] So you got a wax.
[479] And then that made me think that we should talk about waxing.
[480] What do you get done?
[481] I get the whole.
[482] I don't want any.
[483] If I'm going in there, I don't actually understand why you wouldn't just get the whole thing.
[484] Because it's so painful and like it just you're all, you're spread eagle, like why just leave a little sliver?
[485] Just take it all off.
[486] But some people don't like the feeling.
[487] They don't like the look or they feel like it's like a baby.
[488] Right.
[489] But I also get everything.
[490] Did you ever not get everything?
[491] No. Same.
[492] Once I started, I was done.
[493] Okay, so we're on the same page there.
[494] Thank God.
[495] There was a really funny poster in the waxing place.
[496] I get the most interesting information of anyone I've ever talked to from people who are waxing me. It's Fascinating.
[497] So first of all, okay, there was a poster and it said, wait.
[498] Oh, my mom's calling me. Don't tell her about me wasting food.
[499] I won't.
[500] I promise.
[501] But I also know she'll love you anyways.
[502] Wait, I took a photo of it.
[503] I want to read it.
[504] Okay, so there's a photo of the back of a man drawn and it says, yes, man scraping is a thing.
[505] Manscaping, you mean?
[506] What did I say?
[507] Scraping.
[508] Oh, scat.
[509] Speaking of manscraping.
[510] Hi, you.
[511] I didn't think you would have these.
[512] Oh, yeah, we got them.
[513] We got them good.
[514] Hi.
[515] Fresh from South Island.
[516] Yeah.
[517] Yeah, we're talking about manscaping.
[518] Wow, that was the sim, ding, ding, ding.
[519] Just as you walked in.
[520] You need the male perspective?
[521] Yeah, if you'd like.
[522] We'll get closer.
[523] Get a little closer.
[524] Do you manscape?
[525] Yeah.
[526] And do you do the full thing?
[527] I shave my testicle sack, my scrotum, and then I keep the bush at a trim down level.
[528] Okay.
[529] Like a number two on the clippers.
[530] And would you ever get it waxed?
[531] No. Because you're too scared it would hurt so bad?
[532] Well, just.
[533] Too thin.
[534] I don't wear a tiny bathing suit.
[535] And I don't even know that Kristen care.
[536] I don't even know she knows I do that or even cares.
[537] Well, is it for her?
[538] Is it for you?
[539] It's for me. I'll give you, I'll, um, too much information.
[540] So if I don't trim down the top portion, sometimes when I'm like buttoning my pants or I, I don't want to, you know, I don't want to have an entanglement.
[541] Ah.
[542] Yeah.
[543] And like zipping up.
[544] Yeah.
[545] And why do I do my testicles?
[546] I just think it's like, testicle hair is just not that gorgeous.
[547] It looks a little sparse and scraggly.
[548] I feel like also it would trap smell.
[549] Oh, sure.
[550] I just feel cleaner and better about myself if things are shorn.
[551] Yeah, I have a little more of a spring in my stuff.
[552] Okay.
[553] A little shorn.
[554] Is that off putting to you, gals?
[555] Does it trend to Metro or overly?
[556] No. Doesn't bother me. No. I think people should do whatever they want.
[557] I think a big hairy set of balls in the right situation might also seem really attractive.
[558] Yeah.
[559] I guess it's like women -ass men all the time, like, what's your preference?
[560] What's your preference?
[561] I probably don't have a preference as long as...
[562] They have a spring in their staff?
[563] Yeah, as long as they have self -esteem.
[564] Then it's fine with me. But I am a little nervous for you because that's a lot...
[565] You're afraid of cutting?
[566] Yes, that's a lot of moving around of stuff and thin skin.
[567] I'm going to be honest with you.
[568] I'm constantly shocked that wrinkly, stretchy sack can be shaved.
[569] And I never, ever have a cut.
[570] Wow.
[571] I think that bodes well to razor technology, disposable razor technology with the four and five blades and a little...
[572] Yeah, Venus, shout out.
[573] I hope this sponsor is.
[574] Yeah, I think that's why it's come a long way in the head pivots.
[575] And I think if I were in the 80s with a single blade bick that didn't move...
[576] Oh, ow, ow, ow, out, I probably wouldn't do it.
[577] But again, I agree with you.
[578] I have a routine.
[579] It's only in the shower, lots of suds.
[580] And I'm just zip, zip, zip, zip, zip, zip.
[581] And then I'm like, yeah, no nicks, no nothing.
[582] Wow.
[583] And it's smooth like I had shaved my face.
[584] Would you ever consider getting it lasered?
[585] Hmm.
[586] If you said down in the gym right now, there's a laser petition and they're ready to go, sure.
[587] Okay.
[588] But I would not make an effort to drive somewhere and then be in public, um, splayed out with a stranger zapping.
[589] What I would imagine hours and hours of zapping.
[590] Right.
[591] Lots of zaps.
[592] Testicles.
[593] Did you start doing it as the shaving?
[594] technology got better since when have men been doing this well look what also happens is you get older as a man you just get hairier and hairier and i fucking hate it really i hate it because it's not me i never had any hair in my chest not that that's better or worse just that's who i was and am that's my identity i don't have hair in my shoulders i was looking in the mirror in austin i was like i have a fucking hair growing out of my um scar on my from my surgery and you know ultimately the grandpas will get hair cascading out of the ears and the nose.
[595] I don't know why it just keeps going up and up.
[596] So I think I just have a deeper anger towards hair in general now than I ever did.
[597] But I imagine, yeah, my 20s, it was just whatever God gave me. You'd think the opposite, though, because your hair dies.
[598] That's why it turns gray.
[599] So it's weird that it is growing.
[600] But you're right, it's growing out of their ears and stuff.
[601] But women, I don't think, do.
[602] I think it like fins at, it like stops.
[603] What about facial hair on women?
[604] I feel like I see a lot more grannies with a light beard than I do.
[605] I think there's a hormonal thing that happens for women.
[606] Yes.
[607] But do you think maybe they're just, they don't care to groom it anymore?
[608] Well, I think there's like so many variables, right?
[609] A, they might not care to groom it.
[610] They're not trying to impress someone.
[611] B, their eyesight might not be what it was.
[612] C, less time in front of the mirror.
[613] D, post -menopausal, hormone shift.
[614] E, there may be more anemic as they get older.
[615] and the body knows to make them warmer and get more insulation.
[616] I mean, there can be a biological component.
[617] Wow, wow, wow, wow.
[618] Lots of options.
[619] Yeah.
[620] All right.
[621] Well, thanks for weighing in on the manscaping.
[622] Hope I didn't lose anyone or turn anyone off by any of the methods I'm using.
[623] You know, all you can be is honest.
[624] All right.
[625] Love you guys.
[626] Bye.
[627] Yeah, okay.
[628] So, but you were reading this poster.
[629] That was asking, yes, I was reading a poster.
[630] And then I was like, because I'm always interested in, like, what's going on with men in the trends because she told me more men are coming in.
[631] And sorry, this, I didn't even finish reading the poster.
[632] It said, yes, manscaping is a thing.
[633] Book your partner's appointment today.
[634] So clearly they're trying to get women to it, right?
[635] Oh, God.
[636] Well, they're trying to make money, right?
[637] I know, but that would be so uncomfortable.
[638] If you booked an appointment for your boyfriend or husband or partner, and then you went home and you're like, guess what?
[639] I have a surprise for you.
[640] I booked you an appointment at my waxing studio.
[641] They could have offended.
[642] What's crazy is that she said, also the reverse happens, where men book appointments for their...
[643] No, no. And that's what...
[644] That's unacceptable.
[645] I think that never should happen ever, ever.
[646] That is so bad.
[647] Unless I ask you to take it off my plate.
[648] Right, exactly.
[649] But it has to be directed by the woman.
[650] And what was really funny is she said that men were far more likely to stop the treatment in the middle of it.
[651] Oh, not shocked.
[652] It's too painful.
[653] It fucking hurts like hell.
[654] The first time I made my friend come in with me because I was like 18 or something and she had to hold my cheeks open.
[655] Like, because I physically couldn't listen to what the waxing lady was even telling me. Wait, wait, stop.
[656] Yeah, yeah.
[657] Hold on.
[658] Your friend had to hold your vagina.
[659] No, but not those cheeks, my butt cheeks.
[660] You know when you like go on your stomach at the end, I mean, depending on how they do it, you have to kind of like spread them wide and my friend has to like.
[661] No. And I screamed so much uncontrollably.
[662] And there was men literally getting their haircuts.
[663] It was like in one of these cheap places in Montreal.
[664] My friend and I walked out and like all these people.
[665] Oh, this is.
[666] Oh my God.
[667] I thought I was dying.
[668] Do you remember the first time?
[669] Like the first time you're like, I didn't know that pain like this was possible.
[670] Yes.
[671] You think it's going to rip off.
[672] Yeah.
[673] Or you don't know maybe it did.
[674] Like you don't know until after.
[675] after and you're like looking at it and you're like, oh, wow, all the skin's still there, but I'm shocked because it just feels like they're just ripping it.
[676] Every, literally, every time I go, I think, why haven't I lasered yet?
[677] Me too.
[678] Why?
[679] But we know why.
[680] Because I asked her about it and I got confirmation.
[681] You did.
[682] That if you haven't had kids yet, it's better to wait.
[683] Because I asked her, I was like, do you laser?
[684] She was like in the early 30s.
[685] And she was like, no, no, I want to wait.
[686] And like, that's, I recommend.
[687] So it's not.
[688] So we're our inclinations right.
[689] It's scary to put.
[690] put a laser.
[691] That close.
[692] Yeah.
[693] To your reproductive organs, yeah.
[694] Okay, so that's waxing.
[695] Now, you have been waiting to tell me, because we were supposed to talk about this at brunch, but you said you wanted to wait until the podcast.
[696] You had some plane events.
[697] I had a plane, yes, I had a major plane event.
[698] And I didn't, yeah, I didn't want to tell you.
[699] So on my way to Austin, I am at the airport.
[700] I don't know about you, but I look at people who are like organized at airports.
[701] I'm like all over the place.
[702] I'm late.
[703] I have literally four minutes before they closed because there was just a lot of traffic.
[704] And then I'm also realizing like, oh, I have to take my medication and it's in my carry on.
[705] So I have to like take it out.
[706] And so I put my phone next to me and I'm fumbling around taking my medication out.
[707] And then I check my luggage on time.
[708] And then I walk away from the checking and I'm like, can't find my phone.
[709] And I'm like, okay, don't panic.
[710] It's definitely somewhere.
[711] I'm like looking at it.
[712] It's definitely not.
[713] Oh my God.
[714] This is stressful.
[715] And my flight is leaving in 40 minutes, whatever.
[716] I'm like, okay, stay calm, go back to where you, when you were moving your stuff around and moving the medication, like that you probably just left it there.
[717] And then I go, and it was this outdoor check -in, and the guy was like, I was like, did you find a phone?
[718] Like, did you?
[719] And he's like, no, if I had found it, I would have returned it already.
[720] And then I'm like, okay.
[721] Oh, my God.
[722] So then I'm starting to, like, really panic.
[723] And so I go to the Delta Lounge, like, not go to the Delta Lounge, your favorite place.
[724] Grab a martini.
[725] Look for a boyfriend.
[726] Oh, my God.
[727] And then I, so as the Delta woman, I'm like, I have lost my phone.
[728] And she was like, well, there's a lost and founder there.
[729] But then she also was like, do you have the find my phone app on your, you still have your computer?
[730] And I was like, oh, yeah, okay, great.
[731] I'll do that.
[732] And so then I, like, set up my laptop.
[733] I'm, like, connecting to the Wi -Fi.
[734] And then I'm seeing my phone moving around.
[735] And I'm like, and I, because I don't know the layout of the airport.
[736] I go back to the woman and I'm like, where's this?
[737] And she was like, oh, that's like, it was all like all the restaurants and something like that.
[738] And they were clearly like at the gate and moving around with my phone.
[739] And so then she goes, go to the police there and tell them someone has my phone and they're moving with it.
[740] Oh my God.
[741] And I'm freaking out.
[742] Then I still have access to texts on my laptop.
[743] And so Simone had been texting with me. And so I'm like, can you call my phone?
[744] And then she's like, it's not like, it's not even ringing.
[745] And I'm like, this person, like they've stolen my phone.
[746] And so then I'm like at the police station or whatever.
[747] There is no police.
[748] No one is there.
[749] And I'm just waiting and waiting.
[750] And minutes go by, but it feels like hours.
[751] I email my bank because also all my credit cards were on my phone.
[752] Oh, like, in all of them.
[753] And so then I'm canceling my credit cards.
[754] I'm talking to my assistant.
[755] I'm like, can you cancel this card?
[756] And then I'm also like, I'm going to South Buy.
[757] I'm not going to have any credit cards or phone.
[758] I'm not going to have any credit cards.
[759] So I'm just definitely having a horrible day.
[760] And so then I'm going to go through TSA and then I'm like, okay, I'm going to try and find these people because I can, again, still see that they're where they are.
[761] And so then I'm walking and they're at my gate.
[762] And so I go to my gate, I'm like walking around with my laptop.
[763] You can make a sound like ding ding ding.
[764] And so I'm doing the sound and I'm like looking at people so suspiciously.
[765] Like everyone's like, what?
[766] And I'm not hearing the ding.
[767] Like I can't hear the ding.
[768] and then as I'm sitting there on my gate totally defeated and dinging I see my nemesis standing at my gate who's going to be on my flight like this is like a friend wait you have a nemesis and I'm like of course she's here like she's probably going to South by and I don't even have a phone I can look at like I'm you know at this point I'm just it's just so sweaty and crazy I get on my flight I'll just have to buy a new phone when I get to Austin and like use Venmo or like borrow money from Monica so I can eat.
[769] Oh my God, but how are you going to get to the, I guess you get in the cab or something?
[770] Well, everything was like up in the air.
[771] Like I was like, I don't even know how I'm going to, you know.
[772] And so then I land.
[773] Oh my God, you do this whole flight without the phone.
[774] I do this whole flight without my phone.
[775] I'm reading Charles Duhigg's book.
[776] Thank you, Charles, and your episode was so interesting.
[777] I have the book.
[778] And so I read that book.
[779] I just had kind of accepted my, and I was in a middle seat too, which it was just one of those.
[780] And so then I land, I grabbed my check luggage, and I stole my own phone.
[781] Like, my phone was in my check luggage the entire time.
[782] And that's why I was moving from terminal to stop.
[783] Are you?
[784] Oh, my gosh.
[785] Oh, my God.
[786] No, for nothing.
[787] Credit cards work.
[788] But I'm going to get them all, you know, reset.
[789] Oh, oh my God.
[790] It's like one of those weird, because you're so grateful, actually.
[791] Yes.
[792] But also you feel like an idiot.
[793] Yeah.
[794] Wow.
[795] You stole your own phone.
[796] You're tracking your bag.
[797] It's moving from terminal to terminal.
[798] Somebody definitely stole.
[799] They're at my gauge.
[800] Did you think maybe your nemesis stole it?
[801] Did you have that thought?
[802] It didn't go through my mind.
[803] At that point, it just was like.
[804] there was so much happening that I was just trying to just avoid one more.
[805] How did you find?
[806] Do you open to?
[807] Oh, yeah.
[808] And by the way, my nemesis wasn't on my flight.
[809] It was someone that looked exactly like her.
[810] But Liz!
[811] She's kind of a known person in her field.
[812] And there was a friend of mine that was on the flight.
[813] I was telling her the story, not knowing that she would know who that is.
[814] And she was like, oh, I know who you're talking about.
[815] And I thought that was her too.
[816] There was a person, when I'm telling you, not even double.
[817] Like, same clothes, same style.
[818] and, like, a very distinct body type and ethnicity, like, everything.
[819] It was insane.
[820] How do you know it wasn't her?
[821] Because when we were getting off the flight, she was so close to me, which, again, I was like, she's going to come and talk to me. Then I was like, no, that's not.
[822] Like, from the side, I could be she also had a mask.
[823] And then once I saw, like, her eye profile, I was like, oh, no, that's, but it was the same person.
[824] Wow.
[825] Well, maybe that was a rip in the space time continuum.
[826] Maybe it was.
[827] Okay.
[828] So how do you know, you open to.
[829] your luggage as soon as you got it?
[830] Well, I was texting with my other friendly Ron from my computer.
[831] I think I was trying to get people to help me, right?
[832] Like, what do you do?
[833] Like, because is there another program I don't know about or?
[834] And so I text him, I can't find my phone and like it's moving from terminal to terminal.
[835] And then he was like, Regions.
[836] It's so weird.
[837] It says it's on my flight.
[838] Like, I can't but there's no dings.
[839] But okay, can I say something that is important if this ever happens to anybody.
[840] The map is a little off.
[841] So it really showed that they were literally at P .F. Changs or whatever.
[842] Like, it showed that they were, like, having a drink.
[843] Like, it didn't show that they were outside, which is probably where my luggage actually was.
[844] So sometimes it can be a little off.
[845] But then the dead giveaway was like, it'll show you the path that the person took.
[846] It didn't show that they went from the inside.
[847] It showed that they went from the outside.
[848] So that should have been an indicator.
[849] You weren't thinking like that.
[850] Couldn't have been underground?
[851] Maybe.
[852] Often there are like tunnels and stuff that they move the luggage through.
[853] Right.
[854] So it was under the PFTA.
[855] Yeah, probably.
[856] Oh, I see.
[857] Anyway, wait a minute.
[858] So, okay, wait, what did he say to do?
[859] He just said, it might be in your Czech luggage, but Gina does that all the time.
[860] But I've never done anything like that.
[861] How did that even happen?
[862] So I, now looking back, I think that actually it was smart because I didn't put my phone to the side.
[863] I think I was like, oh, don't put it down to the side.
[864] side because you might forget it or someone will take it.
[865] I put it in with my meds.
[866] I like put it in the bag and then took out the meds and then just closed the bag.
[867] Okay.
[868] I think that's what happened.
[869] Yeah.
[870] I could see that.
[871] Yeah.
[872] Do you have a purse?
[873] I do.
[874] You've lost your phone before.
[875] No?
[876] Oh, I mean, in my house all the time.
[877] But not in the world.
[878] But have I lost it in the world?
[879] I'm sure.
[880] Sure, I have.
[881] Well, my phone was stolen in London.
[882] Right.
[883] I don't think I've lost it, lost it.
[884] But I've definitely had to ding it, and it's like, my car.
[885] Like, that'll happen.
[886] Okay, in your car.
[887] Yeah.
[888] It's just I have to be, my dad would say this all the time, like, when I was young.
[889] Because when I was young, it was a nightmare.
[890] You used to lose things all the time.
[891] Every bus pass, every wallet, every key.
[892] Once I just left my purse, literally, like, it was taking the subway, and I just put my purse down on a bench, and I walked in and took the subway.
[893] without my purse.
[894] ADHD, everyone has it now, but I really did.
[895] Yeah, it sounds like you had it pre everyone having it.
[896] Yeah, and my dad would be like, you have to create mental checklists.
[897] Every time you go from one place or they have, you have to say, do I have my keys?
[898] You know, before then we didn't have phones, but like, and that's what I need to do.
[899] I should have like before moving from one, from the, you know, baggage thing location.
[900] Or again, never put it in my luggage ever again.
[901] I mean, that was.
[902] You know what's funny is everyone's brains are so different.
[903] Like, everyone loses stuff and everyone can be absent -minded and feel rushed and frazzled and shit happens all the time.
[904] But the idea that I would need a mental checklet, like, I would need to tell myself to do it.
[905] I'm automatically doing that all the time.
[906] Too much.
[907] It's like every five minutes I'm doing the checklist.
[908] Wow.
[909] Like double checking and triple checking and to the other extreme, right?
[910] Where it's like, do I have my boarding pass?
[911] Five minutes there.
[912] Do I still have my boarding pass?
[913] Do I still have it?
[914] Yeah.
[915] So it's so funny.
[916] People are just so different.
[917] I would love if I could be inside your brain.
[918] For one day, if we could swap, that would be so interesting.
[919] It would be fun.
[920] It would be such a cool device.
[921] I would swim.
[922] You would swim.
[923] And I would like eat three bites of a donut and then leave it there.
[924] But wouldn't that be like such a great tool to also have empathy?
[925] Yeah, just like.
[926] And having ADHD, again, everyone has it now.
[927] so it's fine.
[928] And sorry, not to diminish anyone who has it, and it's a, but yeah, it can impact your relationships, basically, right?
[929] Like, I see it with my parents.
[930] Like, my mom has very advanced ADHD where, I mean, the tomato juice story, right?
[931] That will happen, booby traps.
[932] That's what my dad calls our house a house full of booby traps.
[933] They're just waiting for him to, like, you know, walk into.
[934] It's the biggest issue in their relationship.
[935] That would drive me. Of course.
[936] Absolutely.
[937] Of course.
[938] What is your mom's sign?
[939] She's Pisces, too, man. She's such a Pisces, yeah.
[940] Oh my gosh, she's also almost your birthday.
[941] Are you excited?
[942] I am.
[943] I am excited for your party.
[944] I'm excited too.
[945] It's my first day party.
[946] That'll be fun.
[947] I prefer a day party.
[948] Me too.
[949] I actually, I was so inspired by you doing a day party.
[950] Oh, yeah.
[951] I really liked your party, and I was like, this is great.
[952] Day parties feel mature.
[953] Oh, tell me more.
[954] Night parties feel young, and day parties feel mature, because you can still have have like tons of fun.
[955] You can drink, you can do whatever.
[956] But then you're like home at a reasonable hour and it just feels adult.
[957] You can sleep.
[958] You can get your 10 to 15 hours and you're not like completely dead the next day.
[959] Yeah.
[960] It's evolved.
[961] 35 and over, it's day parties.
[962] I love it because I had my 36 was like a rager and I was like, I don't know.
[963] You grew out of it.
[964] I think I did.
[965] Support for Singed comes from Zoc Doc.
[966] I feel like.
[967] I feel like there's a cold going around.
[968] I know a few people that have it.
[969] And I feel like I'm fighting it, but I can feel like a teeny tiny.
[970] I was feeling that over the weekend too.
[971] I took a lot of zinc.
[972] Yeah, trying to like prevent it.
[973] But when this comes to a head, which it will, Zocdoc is amazing because we don't have to go anywhere.
[974] Zocdoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in -network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online.
[975] You cut out like so much of the process of booking and waiting on hold and, yes, having a doctor you don't like, no reviews, you don't know.
[976] Anyway, it's just, it's so nice.
[977] And it's quick.
[978] Like the typical wait time to see a doctor booked on Zog -Doc is between 24 and 72 hours.
[979] I've booked appointment what's like for literally that day.
[980] Same day, I know.
[981] It's really up to date with their schedules.
[982] Go to Zocdoc .com slash synced and download the Zocdoc app for free.
[983] Then find and book a top -rated doctor today.
[984] That's Z -O -C -D -O -C dot com slash synced.
[985] Zock -D -C -com slash synced.
[986] Okay, well, that was a great update.
[987] It was a great plan of it.
[988] I'm really glad you had it.
[989] Okay, can I ask you maybe to not keep your credit cards in your phone?
[990] I mean, I understand the convenience, or do you have multiple credit cards, keep one out?
[991] Right.
[992] You have to.
[993] Yeah, I used to, and I need to go back to that.
[994] Because one of them I only need for the lounge, but because I'm in the lounge so often.
[995] No, but honestly, it was just like annoying every time.
[996] Or sometimes I would forget it at home.
[997] So that's why I like started keeping it with my phone.
[998] But yeah, I need to keep one extra like safety credit card just in your purse.
[999] Like just have it in your purse always.
[1000] That one doesn't move.
[1001] Okay.
[1002] Okay.
[1003] Now let's do some questions.
[1004] We're going to do some questions.
[1005] Oh, when we tease some of these.
[1006] Okay.
[1007] My husband baby talks and I really don't like it.
[1008] This is from Eliza.
[1009] Hi, Monica and Liz, love the show.
[1010] I have a question about baby talk and relationships.
[1011] My husband and I have been together for three years.
[1012] And more recently, I have begun to find when he speaks in baby talk annoying and a huge turnoff.
[1013] I have told him before that I do not like it.
[1014] but sometimes it seems like he doesn't know he's even doing it because after he's like, oh, was I?
[1015] I can't tell if it's some kind of defense mechanism or just something some people tend to do more of.
[1016] But is this a deal breaker?
[1017] I can't tell help.
[1018] No, it's not a deal breaker.
[1019] I don't think.
[1020] Your husband, you think she should get a divorce?
[1021] I don't think she should get a divorce over baby talk necessarily.
[1022] But I think it probably may. most married people and anyone in any kind of relationship can relate to once something annoys you, it gets ramped up to 100 and you can't unsee it, unhear it.
[1023] It can get out of control how bad it feels.
[1024] But don't you think that's like on her to figure out?
[1025] I mean, I think she can say, it makes me feel.
[1026] Make it about you.
[1027] Like, it makes me feel like a baby or something or not equal.
[1028] Right.
[1029] Even if that's not true, that's just how you.
[1030] You know, you should present it.
[1031] Right.
[1032] Creating a wider political reason.
[1033] I like that.
[1034] Well, because if you say I don't like that you're doing this or I don't like this tick of yours, like that's just going to make him upset.
[1035] So you have to make it about you and you can say that.
[1036] And then he will probably slip up because people do.
[1037] They have these ticks and then they don't know they're doing it.
[1038] But I think you have to sit with that's something he does.
[1039] I'm going to try to minimize it as much as possible, but it is going to come up, and I have to figure out anger tools.
[1040] Or amp it up.
[1041] If he starts talking in baby talk, just go like, like, do it, like, really caricature.
[1042] No, you do it like, but like caricature it.
[1043] No. Because then he'll notice that he's doing it, and then it's still a joke.
[1044] You are very passive aggressive.
[1045] I don't think that's going to work.
[1046] What if he's then like, oh, it's cute.
[1047] Oh, if he likes it.
[1048] And you can't say, I don't like it if then you.
[1049] do it like you have to be direct yeah okay okay you're saying just mock him no not mock it but be like because I don't think he's realizing what it sounds like and so maybe he just needs to know hear what it sounds like but he he obviously doesn't mind it also this is a problem it's been so many years and this I think is common where you don't hear something doesn't start bothering you until it's deep in and then they'll be like I've always done us we always talk like yeah like what's going on.
[1050] You don't like me anymore.
[1051] You're not attracted to, like, it gets deep.
[1052] It becomes, right.
[1053] Even though it's a small thing, it takes on a meaning for the other person.
[1054] Which is why I think just present it, like, this is starting to bother me, and I know it's my issue.
[1055] I feel like this, when that happens, I'm wondering if we can, like, not do that anymore.
[1056] I like that.
[1057] Because then, if he does it, you can be like, ugh.
[1058] And then he'll be like, oh, I did it.
[1059] He'll start to dial it back if he knows he's not supposed to do it.
[1060] But I definitely don't think you should get divorced over it.
[1061] it.
[1062] Do you think she should get divorced over it?
[1063] That's insane.
[1064] To your point, sometimes in relationships, I feel like there's the big values and the big things that are important, but those small things can add up and grow in, like, I dated someone who just the way he said water, like he said water.
[1065] Water.
[1066] He would say water.
[1067] And I didn't break up with him because of that, but like it was a main.
[1068] Okay, what is, you just didn't like the sound of it?
[1069] What bothered you about, if you really get deep into it?
[1070] Like, what was upsetting?
[1071] Because we all say words differently.
[1072] I mean, you do.
[1073] But you say a lot of words weird.
[1074] I mean that in a kind way, like we're all doing that.
[1075] So what about that?
[1076] But see, like you don't, well, maybe it is, but it's not annoying to you when I see things the wrong way.
[1077] But if it did, it would be.
[1078] because there's a bigger thing here.
[1079] Exactly.
[1080] So that's what I'm asking.
[1081] What's the bigger thing?
[1082] Is it for you because you also do it?
[1083] Is it that you feel embarrassed for them?
[1084] I think there was a little bit of that.
[1085] But no, it was I'm an, I, you're annoying.
[1086] What we find annoying is not changeable.
[1087] Like it's, well, but it is though.
[1088] I think you have to figure out what is happening that I'm so annoyed.
[1089] Sure.
[1090] Because it's exactly what you just said.
[1091] I'm not annoyed by that.
[1092] So it's not universal.
[1093] Annoyances are not universal.
[1094] One hundred percent.
[1095] So there's a reason.
[1096] Yeah.
[1097] Things that you think are cute that I do.
[1098] Other people are like, that's so annoying.
[1099] And so it's all in the eye of the beholder.
[1100] It is.
[1101] It is.
[1102] But if you want to make your marriage work, like she's already in our marriage.
[1103] And remember that everyone has annoying things.
[1104] It's true.
[1105] Somebody else is going to have another annoying thing.
[1106] But if it's a symptom of a bigger thing, again, I'm just trying to find the note behind the note.
[1107] Exactly.
[1108] It's just the baby talk.
[1109] or is it symptomatic of a wider difference between the both of you?
[1110] And if it's not, then, yeah, it'll be fine.
[1111] But if it is, maybe divorce.
[1112] Oh, my God.
[1113] No, no, no, no, no, no. Or again, what you're saying, which is think about why it's annoying to you.
[1114] Yeah, figure that out.
[1115] Because that might cure it for one, or then you'll be able to communicate it better.
[1116] First of all, personally, I hate being annoyed.
[1117] I'm annoyed all the time.
[1118] I have such a quick trigger for annoyance.
[1119] and I always end up feeling like, what's wrong with me?
[1120] Like, why can't I just fucking be fine with it?
[1121] No one else is doing this.
[1122] Why am I so critical or?
[1123] Right.
[1124] So that's for me to figure out, not other people.
[1125] That's true.
[1126] That's true.
[1127] Okay.
[1128] Well, anyway, that was great.
[1129] That was a good question.
[1130] Okay, here's a doozy.
[1131] 25 -year -old female hasn't orgasmed yet.
[1132] This is from anonymous.
[1133] Hi, Liz and Monica.
[1134] I'm a 25 -year -old female and I've never experienced an orgasm.
[1135] I've been sexually active since I was 15, but never really prioritized my pleasure in my heterosexual relationships.
[1136] I'm an anxious person and constant overthinker and find myself in my head most of the time when I'm having sex.
[1137] When I was younger, I feel like I would try to act like what I see in movies, but I've been able to be more authentic in the moment with my fiance.
[1138] Even though I really want to, I just don't know how to get there.
[1139] Am I broken?
[1140] I know it's not in the cards for a lot of women, but I just want more out of my sex life.
[1141] I wanted to ask this question in case other women are also struggling to find and in their own sexuality.
[1142] That's a great question.
[1143] I think a lot of people are in this position.
[1144] One million percent.
[1145] One, I'm going to recommend Vanessa Marin, follow her.
[1146] She does great, great work in this space, and she knows so much more about it than we do.
[1147] So, I mean, it's her life.
[1148] So I would look into her and, like, read some of her stuff because I think she has tips and tricks.
[1149] And she would probably say, it's not that you can't have an orgasm.
[1150] It's the way in which you're engaging in this relationship or also are you masturbating like you need to be doing that don't rely on the sex with your fiancee to be the way you get pleasure yeah because that might never have I don't know I mean I've never had an orgasm just with sex right that's really common most women don't exactly and they say it's the golden trio right like orgasm is most likely to happen with women if you have three things which is vaginal penetration clitoral stimulation clitoral And deep kissing is one of them too.
[1151] And those three things combined, right?
[1152] So it's very different from men, right?
[1153] Vanessa on our episode said a really, you know, it seems obvious thing, but is not.
[1154] Our clitoris is the equivalent to the penis.
[1155] Yeah.
[1156] So intercourse is stimulating their clitoris, which is why it always works for them.
[1157] So if we're ignoring our voice, version of that, it's highly unlikely that we're going to orgasm.
[1158] So that has to get stimulated.
[1159] It's equivalent to the male's penis getting stimulated.
[1160] So make sure that part is getting tended to.
[1161] And I was saying about this last night.
[1162] I don't know if I should say it.
[1163] Say it.
[1164] It's like really extreme.
[1165] Not extreme, but okay.
[1166] I don't know why I got shy all of a sudden.
[1167] Oh my gosh.
[1168] No, I was using my toy.
[1169] vibrator last night.
[1170] Me too.
[1171] Oh my god.
[1172] So synced.
[1173] And I, well, I am on my period and I do feel like I'm always more horny on my period and around it.
[1174] And obviously that's hormonal.
[1175] But I was like, I feel like when I'm using this, I can just never stop orgasming.
[1176] That's a weird thing to say.
[1177] but I feel like I can just like go on and on and on and on and on and on and on.
[1178] And it won't stop.
[1179] Mm -hmm.
[1180] Unless I stop it.
[1181] Yeah.
[1182] But that's how our bodies work.
[1183] Right.
[1184] We can just go on and on and on and on.
[1185] I know.
[1186] I believe that going down on women, if you are a straight man, should be mandatory.
[1187] Because that's how most women come.
[1188] So if you're not doing that or you're not good at it or you're not like trying to figure out how to be good at it and what she likes right, which is even good at it, just, What she likes.
[1189] Yeah.
[1190] You're not a good sexual partner.
[1191] Like, you're not having sex right.
[1192] And there's a really good book that every guy should read.
[1193] And I know if a guy has read this book based on how he is in bed.
[1194] Oh, is this Emily Nagoski's book?
[1195] No, it's called She Comes First.
[1196] Oh.
[1197] By David Allen Greer.
[1198] Sure.
[1199] That sounds right.
[1200] No, that's not it.
[1201] Ian Kerner.
[1202] Ian Kerner.
[1203] That book is a seminar.
[1204] book that every man, again, if we lived in a world where healthy masculinity was the norm, maybe not dad's buying it for their sons, but like some male role model would buy it for every guy, which is like the way he says sex is dessert.
[1205] Konylingas is the main act.
[1206] So I also started orgasming in my late 20s.
[1207] I dated men who knew this.
[1208] First, I'm going to make her come.
[1209] Yeah.
[1210] And then we have sex.
[1211] And sex is just like the sprinkles.
[1212] And then you're, and the guy comes.
[1213] But when guys don't treat it that way, that's when we don't want to do it.
[1214] Yes.
[1215] Wait a minute.
[1216] So you weren't using a vibrator before that?
[1217] I wasn't.
[1218] I know.
[1219] I only started being vibrators like in my 30s.
[1220] Wow.
[1221] It's crazy.
[1222] And I would very much recommend she also use vibrator with her fiance.
[1223] Exactly.
[1224] Yeah.
[1225] Because that's also like the easiest way to help with that.
[1226] Again, clitoral stimulation while you're having intercourse.
[1227] But like intercourse is not the main thing.
[1228] It's not.
[1229] It's the main thing for men.
[1230] It is.
[1231] It just has become the main thing for all of us.
[1232] But it's like, no, like it's so.
[1233] rare and again in movies like we're talking about poor things like it's great but the fact that she's coming from sex and intercourse to me is so unrealistic yeah except i do think like when you're first having sex there's also this emotional component and like an excitement level that i think your brain does release some chemicals during these like first times that fade out and then it's not as exciting and you are as stimulated and intercourse is great like i like i like sex is great When it's not great is when you're doing it in order to achieve orgasm and like that's the way, like I just find that that's hard.
[1234] Yes.
[1235] Okay.
[1236] I think Vibrator, start reading some books and stuff on some of this and then talk to your fiancé about paying more attention to your clip.
[1237] Yeah.
[1238] And buying that book.
[1239] I think that's a good book to buy for a guy.
[1240] Just order it on Amazon and anonymous.
[1241] And you can say, you can say like, okay, I heard on a podcast.
[1242] So it doesn't have to be like, I'm intervening.
[1243] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[1244] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[1245] Okay, cool.
[1246] This is funny.
[1247] Husband bought a belt bag for himself.
[1248] This is from anonymous.
[1249] A belt bag.
[1250] This is from anonymous.
[1251] Hello, love my Wednesdays listening to Sink.
[1252] I think this is just a quick question.
[1253] I'm a cis female and I've had a belt bag for years and love it.
[1254] My husband, a cis male, just bought one online for himself, gray color.
[1255] Weird or not?
[1256] We would definitely be matching one out in public, L .O .L. A belt bag.
[1257] What is that?
[1258] Is that like a fanny pack?
[1259] Yeah, it's a fanny pack.
[1260] It's a fancy name for a fanny pack.
[1261] Maybe she's British.
[1262] Yeah, maybe.
[1263] I don't think it's weird.
[1264] I actually think it's cute and fun.
[1265] I think it's fun.
[1266] Yeah.
[1267] And I also think if in your head it leans a little feminine, I think it's awesome that he's wearing one and like doesn't give a fuck.
[1268] I'm pro men wearing fanny packs Because also it means that we don't have to carry all the stuff Exactly So he has the gum He has the Kleenex It shows a level of confidence I like it Yeah me too And matching Whatever, that's cute That's cute I think it's so fun Would you want to do it with your boyfriend Like all I want to do is match Oh I would like die Really?
[1269] Like I love out at dinner Wherever We're going out for coffee Like do you mean compliments Or do you mean wearing the exact same outfit.
[1270] Wearing the exact same outfit.
[1271] Or like similar slash you're complimentary but you're becoming each other a little bit.
[1272] Oh, no. I'm not for becoming each other.
[1273] I think that's dangerous.
[1274] Stylistically, there's something like a synchronization that happens, a sinking of sorts.
[1275] Oh, it's like of styles.
[1276] Well, okay, here's what I'll say.
[1277] Some people are so anti -matching.
[1278] It's like if someone comes down the stairs it's like, oh fuck, you got to change or I got to change because we can't match.
[1279] I'm not like that.
[1280] But I'm not actively trying to match anyone.
[1281] Got it.
[1282] Well, you're one of a kind.
[1283] You don't.
[1284] Everyone's one of a kind.
[1285] You don't, you're a limited to dish.
[1286] You want to be your own.
[1287] But I don't care.
[1288] Like, if me and you are going to coffee and, like, later, if we're meeting at three and then you show up in this outfit, I'll laugh.
[1289] Like, I won't, I won't be upset by that.
[1290] Okay.
[1291] But I'm also not going to say, list, okay, at three, you wear this outfit.
[1292] So before a night out, you know, you know, don't ever like text like like what are you going to wear like what are you going to wear happens but that's more of like what tier what are we wearing like are we being casual are we being fancy but it's not like tell me what you wear and then i'm in a replicate well not replicate but compliment so that it goes oh yeah no no honestly i just haven't thought about it that much i'm thought about matching that much maybe because i have a sister older sister our parents did that a little bit not often.
[1293] They weren't like psychotic, but it was probably because I wanted whatever she had and they would buy a smaller size.
[1294] I mean, I think it's cute.
[1295] Like, we have matching robes that's for our cover art and that that's so cute.
[1296] I feel like if we went to the pool or something and we wore those, that's cute.
[1297] I'm fine with that.
[1298] Am I?
[1299] Yeah.
[1300] Yeah.
[1301] I'm fine with that.
[1302] Also, you're fine with that is not the same.
[1303] Like, I would be excited.
[1304] Exactly.
[1305] You are like dying to do that.
[1306] And I'm like, sure.
[1307] I guess.
[1308] I guess it's fine.
[1309] Sure.
[1310] Yeah, I think sometimes you've even texted like, let's wear matching to this.
[1311] Oh, probably.
[1312] And I'm like, I don't want to.
[1313] I want to wear this today.
[1314] Yeah.
[1315] Okay.
[1316] Well, anyway, we think it's fine.
[1317] We think it's cute.
[1318] So cute.
[1319] If it bothers you enough, I would say you have to change up your bag, unfortunately.
[1320] Because if he likes his fanny pack, then he likes his fanny pack.
[1321] Yeah.
[1322] I think we're probably out of time, but we have some other good ones.
[1323] We have a lot of anonymous ones which are fun because those are like spicy.
[1324] Spiced.
[1325] Okay.
[1326] Well, we'll be back next week with more fun questions.
[1327] Hopefully no more plain events.
[1328] No. You've had two plain events in a row.
[1329] Oh, what I was going to say is what I was really, really hoping would happen with the story is you're tracking.
[1330] Where's the phone?
[1331] you're at the gate you're looking around your gate boyfriends there holding your phone that's the meat cute I'm looking for that's what I'm telling you there's multiple parts of this meat queue and this could have been one it's not close but it was close it was an opportunity I caught myself okay but I love that TBD it's going to be something else it's going to be something else it's going to come out from left field next week we should probably talk about Adam Grant has an article that is about how astrology is defunct or whatever.
[1332] I haven't read it yet.
[1333] He sent it to me. Apparently, a lot of people told him to send it to me. So I'm going to read it in between now and then in you as well.
[1334] I read it.
[1335] And we will chat about it next week.
[1336] Stay tuned.
[1337] Stay tuned.
[1338] Bye.