#166 - Duncan Trussell

[0] Duncan Trussell's in the house, ladies and gentlemen.

[1] The Joe Rogan, Experience.

[2] Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

[3] I think that was one of the best commercials we ever did, Duncan.

[4] That was pretty good.

[5] It flowed seamlessly.

[6] That's how it has to be, man. I can't.

[7] You just always say the exact same thing.

[8] You fucks.

[9] It's too uncomfortable.

[10] I feel like a big phony.

[11] I was talking to Stanhope about that once, man. He said the worst thing is when, like, he goes to the UK.

[12] He went to the UK and he saw the same people.

[13] were in the same seat both nights they're like really loud and they sat in the same seat and then the second night they sat in the same seat but he's gonna do like most of the same material sure you know I mean you only have so much fucking material and the art of stand -up comedy is to relay each piece of material as if it's really happening in your head right now you know but when someone just saw you the night before I said the exact same shit you know and he's like oh it makes you feel like such a fucking phony hate it oh when someone knows your shit but it's flattering it's flattering they're just trying to flatter you they're trying to make you feel like we're super fans we're coming to see you two nights in a row well i do like i mean if they are super fans though i would like you know if bill hicks was in town in boston i saw him two nights in a row i saw the same set twice in a row i wanted to i like watching that because you get to see the nuances and the way they do it differently it's cool right but for a lot of people they don't want to see that but you know but i was a you know you're an open mic comic you know an amateur and a total comedy nerd.

[14] You know, the opportunity to see like a craftsman.

[15] I saw Richard Jenny a couple nights in a row, too.

[16] I saw a couple different guys a few nights in a row like I went to see them.

[17] I saw Dom I Rera a couple nights in a row.

[18] I wanted to see their act over and over again.

[19] I wanted to see how they did it.

[20] And it's interesting, man, when you see people's different reactions and different crowds.

[21] They're like, whoa.

[22] Why didn't that one work, man?

[23] Yeah, that didn't work.

[24] This is weird.

[25] I told you one of my favorite moments in comedies watching Bill Hicks bomb.

[26] he bombed with the confidence and flare of a man who was crushing like it never bothered him like there's a lot of people who say it never bothered them but you can see this like fear or detachment in their eyes this panic look he never got it he never got a panic look he would bomb and as he was bombing he would talk through the bombing and he was doing this bit where he went on after this other guy and the other guy that went up is a very nice guy but he's really hacky and he had like a bunch of like you know cartoons smoking pot jokes where to do like a daffy duck smoking pot and then you know another guy it was one of those guys but he was a nice guy you know my point is he was killing this audience was monkeys they were apes it was one of those dumb audiences and every now and then you get them you know in Boston you have some really educated people and then you have a lot of troll people too yeah yeah you fucking queer yeah you know you got a lot of those well they they did not like hicks at all he came on like super confident and like real like slow and deliberate with his uh with the way he was putting his set out there you know and like real like you just you know like you own the room you know and just would start doing his material and they didn't like it man and they were leaving in droves and he had this bit where satan fucks john davidson in the ass and he would like rotate people it would be john davidson it would be oprah and and then he shits out haroldo Rivera and he's on the on the toilet shitting and he's making this shit noise for like man like two minutes which is a long time to just sit there and he's making this and he looks up and people are just leaving in giant groups this fucking guy's fucking terrible fucking terrible not funny at all after that last guy and they're leaving and hicks looks like up and I swear to God he wasn't even phase he goes yeah this generally clears the room and just to me and my friends I think Fitzsimmons might have been there for that one um to being my friends and 50 people it was fucking hilarious the bits were hilarious it was uh it was like so interesting it wasn't I'll be honest it was not the funniest material that I'd ever seen my life wasn't the funniest delivery but it was certainly the most thoughtful without a doubt it was a totally different kind of laughter i was experiencing i was experiencing a laughter and like oh fuck he just nailed it too it wasn't just laughter it was like wow that's an awesome point to just shove into a joke you know you know what i mean yeah so it wasn't like he was the funniest guy like he you know if you compared him to like the guys that i knew growing like steve sweeney steve sweeney used to fucking crush i mean crush the point where you would be terrified to go on after him.

[27] To follow a guy like Steve Sweeney in Boston when he's on full tilt when he goes up there just rabid and full of energy, you're fucking doomed man. He's just too good.

[28] And it was, Hicks wasn't like that.

[29] It was a totally different kind of funny.

[30] You know, it was its own little thing, man. And it influenced a lot of people to sort of branch off into a more thoughtful direction, you know?

[31] Yeah, it's really cool when you see somebody who's got the balls to just say, exactly what they're thinking on stage with zero pandering.

[32] That's not going to be.

[33] That can't be that kind of crushing comedy.

[34] It's a different thing altogether.

[35] It's still super funny.

[36] But you know what my thing is, dude?

[37] I like to sandwich it.

[38] I like to shove it in between shit that just has no point at all, just ridiculous.

[39] And just stuff that I think is funny.

[40] And it's usually gay jokes.

[41] It's usually for whatever reason.

[42] It's usually someone inadvertently sucking a dick.

[43] or someone is sucking a dick for a reward.

[44] My sense of humor is so fucking juvenile, man. I'm so childish.

[45] And I actually thought, like, man, maybe I got a problem.

[46] Like, why am I such a child with, like, stuff that I think is silly and funny?

[47] You know, like, maybe there's something wrong with that.

[48] And then I went to see Jim Norton.

[49] And Jim Norton was in Austin, and he had more dick jokes than me. And I said to him afterwards, I go, dude, I was starting to think maybe I have too many jokes about dicks of my ass.

[50] And told him I went to see you, I saw an hour's worth of dick jokes and I fucking thoroughly enjoyed it.

[51] I'm like, thank you.

[52] That made me feel good because as a person who was an audience member, I saw it from an audience member's perspective.

[53] Like, oh, it's just a big, crazy, silly ride and you go along.

[54] It's not like, you know, you can't have so many jokes about dicks.

[55] And also, if you think it's funny, then you kind of have an obligation to do it as a comic.

[56] If you think something's funny, you should talk about it on stage because if you think something's funny, you're like, oh, no, no, no, that's not highbrow enough.

[57] I'm not going to do that.

[58] Yeah.

[59] And that's another form of pandering.

[60] That's just, that's not it at all.

[61] It's like, yeah, exactly.

[62] Yeah.

[63] If you have a joke about shitting your pants, you're supposed to tell that joke.

[64] Yeah.

[65] It's not supposed to be out to, oh, you're doing statological material.

[66] If you think it's funny, that's the thing.

[67] If you're just doing it to get a shock out of people or you're doing out of laziness, that's a whole different story.

[68] Well, Ari Shafir's been doing some bit that's been killing about, he was in Australia and he got diarrhea.

[69] It's a totally true story.

[70] And it's fucking killing for him.

[71] You know, for someone to say that you're not supposed to do that.

[72] It's funny.

[73] It's really funny.

[74] And it happened.

[75] It's a real story.

[76] You know, for you to say that there's something wrong with that.

[77] For you to say that there's any kind of rule.

[78] It's like telling an artist, well, you know, you can't paint with light green.

[79] That said.

[80] If you come over someone's house, like, you have to really know that person before you talk about shitting yourself.

[81] Yeah.

[82] It's a weird thing.

[83] Unless they're a doctor, I guess.

[84] When you're on stage, it's one thing, right?

[85] You're supposed to be exposing everything to anybody anyway.

[86] But if you're, you know, you don't know someone, they start talking about shit and all of themselves.

[87] Excuse me, can you come over here?

[88] I need to talk to you about it.

[89] I'm cool with it, you know?

[90] If, like, you're a good dude.

[91] Like, you seem like just an open dude.

[92] And you're like, how's the cheeseburger's there?

[93] It's like, well, they're pretty good.

[94] But listen, the last time I had, I'm going to be honest with that shit all over myself.

[95] I couldn't even make it to the bathroom.

[96] I would start laughing.

[97] I would start laughing.

[98] Oh, shit.

[99] And you think that's what it is?

[100] I would have a normal conversation with you.

[101] I wouldn't be like, excuse me?

[102] Did you just say you shit all over yourself?

[103] Why?

[104] How dare you, sir?

[105] Speak to me like such a scounder.

[106] Who are you?

[107] How dare you?

[108] Where do you get this confidence to come to me?

[109] Isn't that funny when you realize that you're actually offending someone?

[110] You realize that like this really is in some way.

[111] Something I'm saying is having an effect on you that's like causing you to shut down.

[112] Listen, folks, I know you've been programmed to think that you're the asshole when you're swearing and someone reacts like that.

[113] But no. No, they're the asshole.

[114] That's dumb.

[115] It's 2000 and fucking 11.

[116] if you're really offended if someone talks to you about shit in their pants then you're the dummy you're the problem it's not the guy who shit his pants that guy's telling you a funny story okay you're just some weird stuck up person who doesn't want to hear that well I mean no if I don't think something's funny and it's scatological I'm not gonna get offended I'm just gonna it's not funny it's not gonna bother me it's like whatever you're talking about shitting yourself fine I don't really it's not it doesn't bother me some people they've never heard that stuff before comedians we We've been horrifying each other for eons.

[117] You've horrified me in so many different ways.

[118] How have I horrified you?

[119] Oh, you have this.

[120] You're really, really good at taking a story that I already kind of know.

[121] For example, Grizzly Man, the guy getting eaten by the bear.

[122] So, like, you'll get me really high and then start talking about, like, yeah, like, what was the grizzly man's name?

[123] what was Timothy Treadwell.

[124] Timothy Treadwell.

[125] And you start describing him getting eaten by a bear in this, like, precise, microscopic way where you're, like, every moment you're describing the bones crunching and his femur snapping.

[126] And, like, you're just really good at taking it, like, to the next level.

[127] To become a werewolf of stories.

[128] Because at first you start talking about it, you know, when you're high, I'm like, you're high, you're like, well, fuck, you're seeing it so clear.

[129] I'm like, I'm not going to let, I know what he's doing.

[130] He's going to take this into the.

[131] the deep water in a second, I'm not going to let it freak me out.

[132] And I still remember the Treadwell story.

[133] And sure enough, I'm like, Jesus, God, this is horrible.

[134] Poor Timothy Treadwell.

[135] I could just see his bones turning into jelly and his eyeballs bulging out as he's screaming for the bear to stop attacking him, but it won't.

[136] Anyway, you're very good at that.

[137] So after you've been hanging out with people who can professionally tell stories in the most detailed way, then it's really hard to get around anyone who's going to say anything that offends you.

[138] And also the Internet, by the way, is also, like, what's going to, I've seen everything.

[139] My favorite picture in the Internet.

[140] This is a strong statement, but it's true.

[141] My favorite picture is there's a kid, and he's standing in front of the goatee butthole, and the guy spreading his asshole open, and it just says, welcome to the Internet.

[142] Yeah.

[143] The kid is looking at that, and I'm like, yeah, that's it.

[144] Exactly.

[145] Yeah, you can't get upset by things anymore, which is why it's kind of retro and quaint when you come upon someone who actually can get offended.

[146] When you realize, oh, my God, you can still get offended?

[147] How have you maintained that?

[148] That's amazing.

[149] You mean I really have the power to disturb you in a real way?

[150] You don't realize, though, you're not under the glove all day at work.

[151] A lot of people are under the iron glove all day at work.

[152] They're just stuck in an office where all their behavior restricted.

[153] Most of them even have to dress funny.

[154] They have to wear, like, weird things around their neck to signify that they mean business, right?

[155] And you're walking around some office where everybody's stifled, and you're all forced together today, all day, to do shit you don't want to do all day long.

[156] You know, that's not good.

[157] So people are, like, buttoned down because of that, whereas you, you're smoking pot and playing World of Warcraft, you know, trying to write some jokes, you know, and then we're going to go on the road, and we'll go to Chicago, and we'll do the Chicago Theater January 27th with Joey Diaz.

[158] Yeah, but you know what I'm saying?

[159] Like, that's your world.

[160] Right.

[161] You don't have, like, a shit job that you, you know, get up to every morning.

[162] Right.

[163] That's true.

[164] That's, yeah, so, yeah, I understand.

[165] People are buttoned down and they've got some condition and some.

[166] It's too hard to just, if you bus free all the time and you're at work all day and you're just like, why can't, why can we fucking talk?

[167] Yeah.

[168] This is crazy.

[169] This job sucks.

[170] This is ridiculous.

[171] We've got to find another way to make money.

[172] Or, like, those fucking email forwards that those people will send, you know?

[173] You get those email forwards and it's like the worst joke of all.

[174] all time.

[175] What did the chickens say to the rabbit?

[176] Shut the fuck up.

[177] But someone really sent that.

[178] You know?

[179] Oh, my mom was brutal.

[180] My mom was brutal with those.

[181] I had to stop her.

[182] I was really nice about it.

[183] I was like, this is not that funny to me. And by the way, I don't want your friend sending me any crazy email.

[184] So let's not link it all together.

[185] Yeah, please.

[186] Yeah, you don't want to get that.

[187] My mom doesn't even know how to blind carbon copies.

[188] She just got me copies.

[189] She hasn't sent me one in a long time, though.

[190] But the one she did, I would still just look back and I'm going, Jesus Christ.

[191] But what about those?

[192] Also, when you get on.

[193] those patriotic mailers.

[194] Oh, those are brutal.

[195] I've had a bunch of those.

[196] A country I once knew.

[197] This is a story about a country.

[198] And they just make things up.

[199] The thousands of terrorist acts that we prevented.

[200] How about those?

[201] Could have wiped out humanity 17 times over.

[202] But we're out there doing the dirty work.

[203] They were stopped.

[204] Yeah.

[205] There's a dog living in Georgia.

[206] It always has tried to apply to some sentimental party.

[207] There's a dog living in Georgia whose master didn't come home.

[208] Oh, those stories are great.

[209] Well, you know what?

[210] It would be beautiful if that really was the case.

[211] Could you imagine if you really had 100 % faith in the U .S. military and you knew that there was bad guys and we're the good guys?

[212] And it's clean, black and white.

[213] There's no doubt about it.

[214] We only do the right thing always.

[215] We avoid war whenever possible, and we would never engage in war for profit.

[216] But that's what people like to think.

[217] They'd like to think that that's what we are.

[218] Well, like if every 50 years, scorpions climbed out of the, the volcanoes of the earth and they were like poisonous and deadly and they shot lasers out of their eyes and they could like burn you alive and you met someone who's like I've made the decision to go down and fight the scorpions I'm going to fight them I'm going to give my life to fight these scorpions you would be like you are a fucking hero that's a real hero you're amazing you're going to go fight the laser shooting scorpions it's incredible now it's so muddied it's like well you know they don't even know a lot of them they don't even know what they're doing I'm like, well, we're going to Afghanistan because, well, you know.

[219] We're going down there because, you know, Obama's not going to veto this fucking, this new bill, the one that passed through the House, passed through the Senate and the Congress.

[220] Apparently, they, okay, that Obama's not going to veto it.

[221] It turns the United States into a battleground.

[222] You mean indefinite detention?

[223] Yeah, indefinite detention for United States civilians.

[224] Yeah.

[225] It doesn't have to, you don't have to, yeah, you don't have to go to trial.

[226] Did you see the thing I tweeted?

[227] I was on Reddit with McCain.

[228] Ram Paul asked McCain point blank, does this mean that you can arrest a United States citizen and detain them indefinitely?

[229] I just tweeted it.

[230] But, and McCain is like, you know, pretty straightforward is like, if someone is a threat to the security of the United States, we should be able to arrest them and detain them because apparently like a lot of the people that they didn't detain them, indefinitely and they let out, according to McCain, ended up killing some troops.

[231] Yeah, so I like what they're saying.

[232] What they're saying is, listen, this is some fucking dirty warfare and we need some extra power, but we're not going to abuse it.

[233] But the problem is you can't get that extra power because everybody abuses power once they get it.

[234] There was just, otherwise there would already be an accounting for all the fucking money that's missing.

[235] There would already be, you know, there would already be someone, some repercussions for all the lies that were told, that led us to believe there was weapons of mass destruction, just straight up lies.

[236] Think about what you can get in trouble for, you know, what, you know, what, you think about like how crazy insider trading is, you can get arrested if you have information that you know a stock's going to go bad.

[237] Think about that.

[238] But then think about the fact that someone, somewhere lied about weapons of mass destruction.

[239] They made up some sort of a story or they fabricated some evidence and it became the real reason why people supported the idea going there.

[240] and yet it didn't exist.

[241] So if we know that and that's not chased down, you don't chase that down.

[242] There's no big news follow -up and documentaries about it, how they chased that down, and found out how it happened, locked everybody up and cleaned out all the people that they were in business with.

[243] No, it's just somehow or another, it kind of gets swept under the rug, that a war was started on bullshit.

[244] They've allowed, somehow another hypnotized people to the point where people have allowed a war to be created on bullshit a country that had absolutely no connection that we could see like a straight connection to Iraq what the fuck is that makes no sense oh we gotta go over there and get him he's got weapons master trucks okay listen we were gonna go to war with the people that killed us but we can't figure out who the fuck they are because apparently they're nomadic terrorists that have actually been living in America and training let a fly okay okay since we get the they're all dead since we can't get them let's go get some people that look like them yeah right let's go get some people people in another country, not even from the same country.

[245] It's like Canada does something fucked up and people go attack Mexico.

[246] It's that fucked up.

[247] It's that silly.

[248] That's what it's like.

[249] It's like if Canada attacked somebody and then they decided to attack Mexico and retaliation, that's what it's like.

[250] Dude, I walk my dog and I walk my dog past this house with these two ferocious dogs behind a fence.

[251] I've got a little chihuahua.

[252] And so the chihuahua loves coming and standing in front of this.

[253] fence and barking because what happens is the two dogs come charging down towards my chihuahua and barking at my dog and one of them is so mad at my chihuahua that it starts biting the other one on its ass and it's the funniest thing you've ever seen it's just taking it out on on the closest thing that it can bite you know so wow so it's like also isn't this known as um isn't it kind of like what happened in afghanistan isn't that called bull baiting isn't that what it is It's like, sometimes this is what really creeps me out is I think that the people that we're fighting in Afghanistan and the war that we picked with people, I think they're really good at fucking war.

[254] You know, Afghanistan's called the graveyard of empires.

[255] And I think that the people that we're up against aren't just as stupid as a lot of people would like to paint them.

[256] You know, they can't fucking, they can't even read.

[257] They're just hungry, starving people who can't even read.

[258] They don't know what they're doing.

[259] I think they kind of do know what they're doing.

[260] I mean, bin Laden said, all we have to do is make it seem like we're going to attack and look at how much money the United States spends.

[261] They were just like, oh, we have to work.

[262] They turned on a fucking money faucet.

[263] They basically like, look at what they did.

[264] Look at if, look at what al -Qaeda did.

[265] We now have a country where our military can arrest us if we're considered a threat to the security of the United States.

[266] So that, you know.

[267] What can that mean?

[268] I mean a journalism?

[269] Could that mean a journalist?

[270] Could that mean like a WikiLeaks guy?

[271] Could Malcolm X have gotten arrested and detained indefinitely?

[272] Well, Julian Assange, don't you think that he would get arrested under that law?

[273] Sure.

[274] If he was in America?

[275] Fucking out.

[276] Other than being assassinated, though.

[277] Well, he hasn't been assassinated yet, but if they could arrest him under...

[278] I mean, think about what they've done with that guy.

[279] You know, he's in sort of a similar situation where he has to report to a police station like every day.

[280] He has to check in and he's not allowed to go anywhere.

[281] and his trial is like still he hasn't been they want to send him off to where was it norway is it norway he was charged with sweden sexual misconduct whatever he did it's just some weird moan where he's in bed with a girl apparently she's saying yeah stuck his dick in her without a condom and yeah well it seems like we're sometimes it feels like we're on the precipice where they're going to stop even putting up this act that they're debating and deciding and using courtrooms they see that's the problem with indefinite detention because it's like Let's imagine that I think, I don't know, let's imagine I think that Alex Jones is a threat to the security of the United States because of the things that he's been saying are weakening the government, right?

[282] So let's imagine that the government, the federal government decides that Alex Jones is a real threat.

[283] And so they decide to arrest him.

[284] They've got to put him on trial.

[285] They've got to prove that he's a real threat.

[286] Was he like manufacturing fucking explosives?

[287] Was he planning on doing something to a federal building?

[288] There would be a trial.

[289] And in the trial, they could use evidence to show if he was really a real threat.

[290] Play his tapes, show what he was up to.

[291] Now, the military can just arrest him.

[292] It's not even arrest, because they're not putting him on trial.

[293] And they didn't even have to tell anybody they've arrested him.

[294] Yeah, they just come and get you, and they put you away indefinitely.

[295] Because somebody thought you were a threat to the security of the United States.

[296] That chills me, dude.

[297] That is so fucked up.

[298] And if you think that that's just going to be used for, I don't know, Whoever it is, these invisible people that I'm not even sure who they are that are lurking in New York or wherever they're at, you're crazy.

[299] If you think that's going to happen, fucking turn on some Waco footage, you know, watch those fucking ATF agents torching that Koresh compound.

[300] If you think that they're just going to fucking use this law for the worst and most extreme cases, no fucking way, man. They're going to use it.

[301] They're going to use it any way that they want.

[302] They're going to use it for drug dealers.

[303] They're going to use it for...

[304] Whatever they want to use it for.

[305] They're going to use it for anybody, man. I mean, we could be doing this fucking podcast from inside of FEMA camp.

[306] Think of what you saw that cop at UC Davis due to those kids that were on their knees because he thought he could because the law was on his side.

[307] They weren't moving.

[308] He told them to comply.

[309] They did not.

[310] So he thought it was okay to spray chemicals in children's faces.

[311] And that guy is representative of human nature.

[312] He's representative of abuse of.

[313] power.

[314] It's very simple.

[315] It's no logic, abuse of power.

[316] Yeah, I get, someone has made your life a little more difficult.

[317] They made your job a little harder because now you have to look out for all these kids and they're all this place where they, you don't want them to be.

[318] But guess what, fuckface?

[319] You're not allowed to spray him in the face with fucking chemicals.

[320] That's assault.

[321] You're assaulting kids and you think you're allowed to do that because of something written on a piece of paper.

[322] Fuck you, stupid.

[323] That's dumb.

[324] You think that that's a, that's like morally reprehensible, just innately it's in your mind you know that's a negative thing in your mind you know that a peaceful protest with students with children who have this idealistic view of the world and you're going to squash it while you're wearing a bulletproof vest and spray them in the face with fucking chemicals they want peaceful protest which is supposedly guaranteed us we're supposed to have the right to assemble we're supposed to be able to get together even if it is private property you know what that is where the issue takes place.

[325] Where the fuck else should they be?

[326] Well, no, yeah, you're supposed to be able to do that, and you're supposed to be able to do a lot of fucking thing.

[327] And the community should embrace it, and the fucking school should have a dialogue with them.

[328] They're supposed to be ironing everything out.

[329] You're not supposed to just, you know, spray people in the face with fucking chemicals.

[330] But because that guy could, because he wasn't just some guy who didn't like what the kids were saying.

[331] You know, like, if you and I went down there, you know, like, these fucking kids are spoiled.

[332] I'm going to fucking spray him in the face with tear gas.

[333] Yo, dude, they would lock me in jail.

[334] They would tackle me, throw me to the ground, because I don't have the authority to assault them.

[335] But this guy has the authority to assault them.

[336] Somehow another, it's become his job.

[337] That is exactly what's going to happen with this bill.

[338] That is exactly what's going to happen with this amount of power.

[339] You can't just give it to people and hope they're going to be good.

[340] This should be against the fucking law.

[341] You can't do it.

[342] You can't ever do it.

[343] You want a way to stop terrorist threats?

[344] Let's get the fuck out of their countries.

[345] How about that?

[346] Great start.

[347] How about that?

[348] That's a good start.

[349] How about you stop occupying these fucking countries that don't really need us?

[350] No one needs us in Afghanistan.

[351] I want all everybody's relatives.

[352] Come back fucking home.

[353] Those people that are sending you over there and not looking out for your best interest.

[354] That's ridiculous.

[355] This is a time old story.

[356] A timeless tale.

[357] It's been told back and forth.

[358] The last edition was Vietnam.

[359] But apparently nobody fucking learned from it.

[360] Apparently everybody just still thinks that someone's looking out for you at the top despite all the evidence of the contrary someone's looking out for you man yeah well and also does that you know it's set up in a way that for many people they feel like it's one of their only options is to join the military they feel like they it's like a they feel like it's gonna pay for their college and it's um the the lot of you know like at the fucking uh at the ufc there'll be uh marines there you've seen those right and we do them for the troops we do we do shows for the troops.

[361] And we have troops that are flown in and we, yeah, get them tickets.

[362] Well, no, no, no, that's cool.

[363] I'm talking about outside the recruiters where they're like recruiting.

[364] Yeah, they're recruiting people.

[365] I don't mean, it's awesome to fucking...

[366] At the fights?

[367] Yeah, at the fights where they're recruiting people.

[368] And you're all juiced up with testosterone after seeing a fight.

[369] Yeah, yeah.

[370] You don't want to fucking be tricked into that.

[371] That's not fair.

[372] That's like a whorehouse that's open right in front of a strip club.

[373] Yeah.

[374] And you're like, whoa, what are you doing here, man?

[375] The one I saw they were doing a pull -up contests is what it was.

[376] So they were having pull -up contests.

[377] And so they're getting guys there.

[378] It's like, I do a fuck, a hundred pull -ups.

[379] Look, they're doing a hundred pull -ups.

[380] And they're like, man, you could be a Marine.

[381] You're really tough.

[382] You could be a Marine.

[383] And so they use recruiters will come on college campuses.

[384] And, you know, it's a, the United States military uses many of the same things that cults do to indoctrinate the people into it.

[385] You know, cults change your identity.

[386] They change your name.

[387] Colts will shave your head.

[388] They'll make you wear certain clothes.

[389] They make you refer to people in a very specific way.

[390] They make you use a very specific language.

[391] In cults, people will tend to say the same thing over and over again.

[392] It's just based on whatever the leader said.

[393] So a lot of the indoctrination is very similar to when cults come out to campuses and stuff.

[394] It's a very similar thing.

[395] And what they do is they get people to join up who haven't actually considered the reality of what they're going to be doing.

[396] Some of them really do want to, like, fucking blast goddamn machine guns in the desert because it's fucking fun.

[397] There's a great book by Sebastian Younger called War, and it's fucking awesome.

[398] Have you read that book?

[399] No. Oh, my God.

[400] It's so good.

[401] Refresh my memory.

[402] He decided to write a book about, it's this deadly valley in Afghanistan.

[403] And so he decided to write...

[404] With his name, Sebastian Junger.

[405] I don't know if it's Junger or Younger.

[406] He's written.

[407] other things before.

[408] Yes, he has.

[409] Yep, that's right.

[410] I don't know what else, though.

[411] But I just kept hearing about this book, so I bought it.

[412] I was just trying to remember what I remembered about it.

[413] I can't.

[414] He's like a, he lived with these fucking troops out there.

[415] He's badass.

[416] He's like a really tough dude who like goes deep into the shit and like, um, and he's a journal.

[417] He's a war journalist.

[418] Is he a CNN guy?

[419] He's he the guy that has like the accent?

[420] I don't know.

[421] Like an Australian accent.

[422] Is that the guy?

[423] I don't think he has an Australian accent, but I could be wrong.

[424] I only saw one interview with him.

[425] I don't remember.

[426] I don't know why.

[427] I keep you interrupting you i'm trying to remember this i can't sorry so his what he did with this book which is remarkable and beautiful is he uh managed to write the book with no moral or ethical slant to it you know he's not saying like war is bad or you shouldn't go to war you should go to war war is good it's just describing the experience of war as purely as he can exactly what it's like to get hit by a roadside bomb or exactly what it's like to like be in the middle of a fire and how they've studied adrenaline levels when you get into firefights.

[428] Okay, now I'm remembering.

[429] I'm looking at the pictures of them online.

[430] Yeah, I saw them on a CNN interview.

[431] CNN or C -SPAN.

[432] They also did a documentary about it, too.

[433] Really?

[434] About this group of people, these badass fucking Marines out in the middle of it, like in the deadliest fucking valley.

[435] It's called the Coringal Valley is what it's called.

[436] Those guys, those embedded reporter guys are fucking crazy.

[437] They're fucking crazy, man. What a nutty job, huh?

[438] They want to go where the action is.

[439] Yeah, man. But the experience of war for a young guy who, he says there's no drug like it.

[440] He says that there's nothing that will get you as high is being in a life or death situation where you're defending the people around you who you are like connected to.

[441] There really are your brothers.

[442] You're like surrounded.

[443] You're with these people.

[444] See, for the troops, that's what their war is.

[445] Their war is protecting their dear friends from getting killed.

[446] and that's how they're taught.

[447] They're taught, these are your brothers, you will give up your life for your brothers.

[448] That's what they're taught.

[449] And so you develop these intense bonds for the people around you that are formed from massive bursts of adrenaline.

[450] You know, because like when adrenaline, when your body's experiencing super dangerous situations, all the senses turn on.

[451] I think it's an evolutionary trait designed to like teach you so that you learn how to survive.

[452] Like, you know, way back when if you were getting attacked by a tiger, you know how you remember everything in a dangerous situation everything becomes crystal clear you see everything everything's kind of in slow motion and then afterwards you totally remember it with this vividness that you don't remember other things this is where a post -traumatic stress disorder shock disorder post -traumatic stress disorder comes from is that people who get in really intense situations in war they get these fucking memories burnt into their brains like tattoos they can't forget it.

[453] Their mind keeps going back to it.

[454] Like when your memory wanders and you think back to a moment, it's kind of dulled and the colors are dim and you don't remember it.

[455] Their memories go back to it 100 % so it's like they're there.

[456] Their hearts start racing and it fucks up your life because this thing has been burnt into your mind.

[457] So in these situations you're experiencing life at a super high voltage and you're experiencing with a group of people and you form bonds with these people that you don't have with normal people in life.

[458] You form these intense bonds.

[459] Maybe it's like the kind of bonds you form when you're with your wife and she's giving birth or something, when you're sharing those moments with people.

[460] It's like that.

[461] So I think these effects are studied by the people whose job it is to make the troops efficient.

[462] And they use these really intense conditioning techniques and stuff that a lot of these people aren't prepared for.

[463] they don't know what they're getting into.

[464] They don't know that they're getting into more than just defending their country.

[465] They're getting into a well -studied system of brainwashing and conditioning that transforms them from, you know, normal American citizens into people who are willing to die for whatever their commander says.

[466] You can't question what your commander says.

[467] You can't question whoever the superior officer is about doing this or that.

[468] You have to do it.

[469] Or it couldn't work if that wasn't the case.

[470] if like each individual person got to decide, I don't think I'm going to, I don't think I'm going to shoot that fucking grenade, man. I don't want to do that.

[471] I don't think, you know what, the place down there where all the people are with the guns that want to kill me, I'm probably not going to go there today.

[472] It's amazing how easy it is to sell the idea that you're supposed to go kill someone because some people that are in office, even though you know that everyone in office is essentially corrupted.

[473] But because those people are in office, they tell you you're allowed to kill these people.

[474] Not only are you allowed to kill these people, kill people but when you come back they'll be happy to see you yeah sure whereas like in any other time if you find out that a guy killed somebody like look you know like this fucking guy man he's a good dude but he went to jail for manslaughter he beat some guy to death in front of a nightclub and he's kind of fucked up went to jail for 10 years yeah you like I don't want to be around that guy yeah that got killed somebody but if you are around a war hero it's a different feeling sure you know and did different feelings for them too you know I mean some guys have have issues over it but I've met guys that don't.

[475] I know some really smart guys that went overseas and they're happy that they did what they did.

[476] 58 confirmed kills.

[477] Dude, I know some snipers.

[478] Yeah.

[479] I know one dude very well that was a sniper.

[480] Well, I mean...

[481] That's got to be a weird thing, man, to be looked at someone from a distance and make them disappear from Earth.

[482] Blimp!

[483] From the distance.

[484] You know, it's...

[485] That's what it is.

[486] I mean, that's what being a sniper is.

[487] You're not there to fucking win a target contest.

[488] You ain't playing pinball.

[489] Yeah.

[490] You're there to pack people off that they want to.

[491] to kill from the distance.

[492] You're there to evaporate people's heads.

[493] Yeah, you explode their brain.

[494] Yeah, you're a widow maker.

[495] You're out there fucking making kids grow up without their dad.

[496] You're out there fucking making it so that like for the rest of their lives, there's going to be sentimental moments where a guy looks at a grainy picture of the person whose face you just turned to jelly and bone fragments.

[497] For the rest of their life, they're going to be looking at this picture being like, man, I wonder what my dad was like.

[498] I bet it was pretty fucking cool.

[499] oh guess what you're not going to know his fucking head looks like a goddamn blasted a tomato that fell off a car his head splattered everywhere that's it and a professional did that who got trained in a fucking camp designed to teach people to do that in the most precise way possible it's crazy man it's amazing when you break it down like that when you look at it for what the actual physical act of it is instead of looking at it as a patriotic american it supports everything that we do overseas and you know put a fucking flag on your window that says god bless our troops you know instead of just looking at it analytically not even like casting a blame just describing it just describing it just describe it it becomes insanity it becomes a point where people are angry at you and they'll say you're talking shit about the american soldiers and the u .s. army where you actually not even you don't even have to do is just describe what's happening you don't have to talk any shit when you describe what's happening the reality of the details is something horrific that people will interrupt you with excuses.

[500] Sure.

[501] They'll interrupt you.

[502] All you have to do is say what's happened, not even cast blame.

[503] Just describe it accurately.

[504] Well, what you're doing there, see, is you're walking through the laser in the museum that makes the fucking door shut in front of the diamond.

[505] You know, it's like people have these tripwires in their brains where the moment you start talking about, just the stuff we've been talking about now, it's, you're hitting a fucking, you're hitting some conditioning that's been intentionally put.

[506] put there um that's been intentionally put there because if it's not there then you know uh the country can't function as an empire i mean it's got you've got to have if you're going to run an empire the population has got to have deep and intense admiration for the military force because if they don't then the military force isn't going to function because the military force is made up of the population but it becomes at a certain point time you have to wonder when does the military force realize these guys that are paying you absolute shit money The guys that we have to do foundations for, we have to do benefits for, you know, for traumatic brain injuries.

[507] You know, like people have to help and contribute.

[508] That should, to me, when I found out they need money for traumatic brain injuries for hospitals to deal with these guys when they come back overseas with these horrible injuries, the first thing I thought is, man, how is that possible they let that become an issue?

[509] How much would that cost in comparison how much fucking money they're making over there?

[510] How much would it cost?

[511] And who's making money?

[512] How about the fucking people that are making all the equipment?

[513] People selling the guns, man. The people that make the air conditioning machines.

[514] They're spending billions of dollars on air conditioning over there.

[515] You know, they have giant tents that they're fucking air conditioning.

[516] There's a lot of money.

[517] You're telling me they don't have any money to spend on traumatic brain injury.

[518] Shouldn't they like invest in the best medicine possible with the smartest scientist?

[519] How much would that cost?

[520] Would that be cost prohibitive?

[521] If that's cost prohibitive, then that means of fucking war should be cost prohibitive.

[522] You shouldn't be investing in a war that you can't take care of your fucking soldiers after it's over.

[523] What the fuck is that?

[524] That's like driving across the country with just enough money for gas and no money for food.

[525] Oh, it's the most fucked up thing ever, man. It's like, and that's the, that is the real sickening thing about it is whenever you run into people who are soldiers, like, like that guy, there was a coolest fucking guy at the Hermosa show he did, man, who like said he listened to your podcast and like, he was like a special forces guy.

[526] And he was fucking cool man and every time I run into those people they're cool in an authentic way where you know you could be good friends with these people you could trust these people you have to have a tremendous character to get through the special forces the green beret you know say what you will about someone you know being a you know a soldier who's a you know a puppet of a giant corporation whatever to be like a special forces soldier you need to be a bad motherfucker period yeah you do man and those people are like some of our they're some of our best people they really really are they're some of our best fucking people so to send them off to bullshit wars where they're getting fucking liquefied instead of using them for real purpose for something for like really building the country up and really do like for in the inevitable event where some shit is going to happen and we're going to need them for a real thing you know to send them to waste them for these fucking politicians who are the real puppets of the corporations to fucking send these heroes off to get their faces blown off in some country that they don't need to be, man. That is beyond evil.

[527] That's some reptilian, vampiric, weird shit, man. It is.

[528] It is.

[529] It's, it's, if, you know, if they were eating people instead of just killing them, if every person that died, they ate, we would be horrified.

[530] That's right.

[531] But because everybody just dies, somehow or another, it doesn't seem like they're getting killed by monsters.

[532] But they are.

[533] They're being killed by psychological monsters.

[534] They've been killed by people who are willing to kill people in order to profit.

[535] And it's really that's simple and it doesn't seem like it should be possible in 2011 but that's the business that they're in the guy who works at the fucking butcher shop the guy who works at the slaughterhouse okay do you think that guy at a certain point in time don't you think he gets used to killing cows the fuck yeah he does that's his job but if you had to go there today and like you just were alone with the cow and all this machinery and then there was like a fucking manual that told you exactly how you'd pull the cow into this and lead them into this spot and then send the pissed him through his fucking brain and then hook him up and then gut him you would be so freaked out at the whole process because you're not used to it because it's not it's not a normal part of your life yeah meanwhile yeah so these people are just used to it they're they just makes sense to them yeah it's a normal part of their life it's a normal part of their life man it's and it's like when you hear about the friends of bush that got all those deals in afghanistan all the contractors and shit who had like the and how much they charge for work out there that they charge Like insane money.

[536] Insane money for this stuff.

[537] And you realize, oh, this is just a, you know, the act of war.

[538] It's just a way to test out some new technology and to get a lot of people some work and make a lot of people really rich.

[539] Fuck, yeah.

[540] Incredibly rich.

[541] And the idea that everybody, you know, people say, there's no way that people would go to war just for money.

[542] And I'm like, there's no way they wouldn't.

[543] Yeah.

[544] There's no way they wouldn't.

[545] They had to sacrifice a few thousand people here or there to make untold trillions amount.

[546] of dollars that is what it is too yeah and yeah that's funny because if it was like let's say there was just a group of like robed uh demonic magicians that lived in some giant black tower and they're like we need five thousand of your strongest and bravest men we're going to sacrifice them at the top of the tower and from their blood we will reap great energy you'd be like fuck you that's the evils thing ever but if they're like we got to send our troops over there to defend and fight for our country suddenly you're like oh yeah it totally makes sense go ahead and do that they've got to fight for your freedom war pigs man listen to fucking uh what's that Ozzy Osbourne he sums it up perfectly in that sock yeah why the war machine keeps turning yeah yeah it is a war machine and that's something that you know people have warned us about from the beginning of time you know that there's you know people that are in charge they're like everything they're going to eventually get drunk with power and they're going to lead you in some terrible direction and all corruption evolves and if it's not checked it gets stronger and stronger and all you have to do is just go back to the kennedy assassination go back to linden johnson go back to richard nixon and watergate and they're all crux yeah they've always been crooks and no one got caught a few along the way nixon a few guys got popped for a little bit of this and a little bit of that but for the most part everybody got away with everything the people who drafted up the Northwoods document.

[547] They didn't go to jail.

[548] Whoever the fuck shot Kennedy.

[549] You know, oh, it was Lee Harvey Oswald.

[550] He acted alone.

[551] Yep.

[552] Sure he did.

[553] Sure he did.

[554] Yeah, all those people that heard bullets coming from behind them, they're just crazy.

[555] Yeah, they're just silly people.

[556] It was fucking probably like five or six dudes with guns.

[557] You think they got to rely on one guy?

[558] And do you think that one guy really, really was on his own, just a lone nut?

[559] Yeah.

[560] Shut the fuck up.

[561] Which is why when you see.

[562] John McCain, pretty much directly telling Ram Paul that, yes, with this bill, if someone is a threat to the security of the United States, you know John McCain, this is from the person who fucking chose Sarah Palin as his vice president.

[563] So that's how fucked up this man is.

[564] When you hear him saying, yeah, we can indefinitely arrest United States citizens who are a threat to the security of this country, you have to ask, well, what is John McCain's definition of security?

[565] I know what mine is.

[566] What's John McCain's definition of the security of this country?

[567] Because I think it's wildly different from my idea and your idea and from most people's idea of the security of the country.

[568] I think for John McCain, the security of the country means that the corporations are able to function without getting disturbed by people who have the gall or audacity to say that the way that wealth is distributed right now, is unfair and is fucking up is basically eating away and eroding the foundations of what this country's supposed to be about.

[569] I think fucking McCain would very much like to take those people and put them in some indefinite detainment if he could.

[570] And eventually maybe it won't be McCain.

[571] Maybe it won't be this year.

[572] Maybe when this bill passes it'll be 15 years before it happens.

[573] But eventually people just start disappearing.

[574] People vanish in the middle of the night.

[575] Did you hear about this fucking ridiculous thing that Newt Gingrich said?

[576] Gary Johnson outed Newt Gingrich about being a pot smoker and the fact that he was pushing for something that would make marijuana distribution after a certain amount, with a certain volume, would make it, you would be able to be put to death, essentially.

[577] You'd be eligible for the death penalty.

[578] Who said this?

[579] Newt Gingrich.

[580] A guy who admits that he had smoked pot.

[581] He's talking about, like, pot dealers.

[582] Gary Johnson outed him on this.

[583] Right.

[584] So, yeah.

[585] So, right, and there are many people right now.

[586] We're in control of this country who...

[587] But how crazy is that?

[588] It's evil.

[589] Can you imagine?

[590] There's someone saying that a guy who sells pot, because he sells a lot of it.

[591] What if he sells one joint?

[592] Well, one joint, no death penalty.

[593] Okay, I've sell a million joints, death penalty.

[594] Off with his head.

[595] You know, why?

[596] Why?

[597] Because you're giving more people the same shit?

[598] That doesn't even make any sense.

[599] I've never understood that.

[600] The idea of like a volume issue makes the crime worse.

[601] Like if you're selling a couple of joints to your friends, it's like a little slap in the wrist.

[602] But if you're selling 100 ,000 pounds in the back of a semi, you're going to get locked up for the rest of your life.

[603] But take it a little further back.

[604] You're talking about a fucking farmer.

[605] You're going to execute a farmer?

[606] It's agriculture.

[607] It's hilarious.

[608] The shit grows out of the ground.

[609] You're going to execute a fucking guy who like who was a horticulturist or a botanist you're just going to you're going to kill somebody who grew a plant it's not like he was whipping up poison you know what that's that's the weird thing you could probably whip up 500 gallons of cyanide and distribute that around and you couldn't get the death penalty for that as deadly as that is pure deadly cyanide but if you're growing enough fucking marijuana uh newt gingrich thinks that he can he wants to execute you he wants to kill you Speaker of the House, Newt Gingrich, introduced in 1997 the Drug Importer Death Penalty Act of 1996.

[610] A bill would have required a sentence of death for certain importations of significant quantities of controlled substances.

[611] It would have applied to anyone convicted more than once of carrying 100 doses or about two ounces of marijuana across the border.

[612] Two ounces of marijuana across the border, 100 doses.

[613] That would be the death penalty.

[614] You would be eligible for death.

[615] Yeah.

[616] What a monkey.

[617] What an old, limp dick monkey.

[618] Just you old dumb fuck.

[619] You ancient thinking shithead.

[620] You fucking rulemaker.

[621] You write it down and everyone knocks the hammer and then it makes it right.

[622] Your fucking system is obviously bullshit.

[623] All of it's bullshit.

[624] So your laws are bullshit.

[625] All your rules are bullshit.

[626] All this posse commentatus, that's commentatus, whatever it is, that's bullshit too.

[627] It's just we just decide.

[628] People write things down on paper and we decide what it's right and what it's wrong.

[629] And then we agree.

[630] No, we're not agreeing to this.

[631] We didn't even get to vote any of this.

[632] There's not, the idea that they can just impose this on you is nothing short of imperialism.

[633] It's nothing short of people telling other people what they can't do.

[634] Telling other people that they're not, they're not as special as them, that they're not worth as much as them, that they don't have any rights, that they don't have any authority.

[635] And that these people who write the things down on people, on paper, rather, all of a sudden have the authority over the mass of other humans that don't.

[636] They're special.

[637] They override.

[638] And now they're telling us that they override because they have weapons.

[639] Because they're going to allow the military to actually enter into civilian areas and stop uprisings.

[640] So you're going to have tanks can stop Operation Wall Street.

[641] That's right.

[642] Literally what happened in Tiananmen Square that horrified every American and we saw those kids get run over by tanks and killed.

[643] It was terrifying that their government is so fucking against them, that their government is so cruel and so evil.

[644] They've been willing to run over their citizens, run over the people whose hard work literally funded the empire, funded these tanks.

[645] Every person chipped in a certain amount.

[646] But because these people defy, because these people protest, they're going to run over them with tanks and crush them on television in front of everybody.

[647] That's right.

[648] And that's that's the type of person that new kingrich is and that can come that can come from this from this action and that's why people don't understand like why you're getting so outraged about this why is this like this is crazy this is like a movie this is like batman okay we're we're in batman right now and you know the the evil people are slowly getting their grips on our on our government there's some guy with a fucking mask on and he's working for all the bad guys and he's pretending to be a senator and batman has to figure this guy out and he has to get to him him.

[649] And right now that guy looks like Barack Obama's like he's got a mask on.

[650] He's like some fucking lizard guy underneath all this.

[651] And he's just a really good actor.

[652] And he's got everybody convinced that everything's cool.

[653] And David Ike is right, man. They're all fucking reptilians.

[654] He's cobra commander.

[655] It's so ridiculous.

[656] It almost like that would fit right into the plot.

[657] If you found out Obama really was a reptilian, it would like fit right in the plot.

[658] If you found out that Newt Gingrich really was some evil reptilian that wanted to take over the reptile farm.

[659] You doesn't like the way this young reptile runs things.

[660] I would run these humans correctly.

[661] You know?

[662] Well, you can, you know, before you get to the reptilian part, you can just kind of look at what they really are.

[663] And what they really are, well, here's one thing you know about Newt Gingrich.

[664] Newt Gingrich is a murderer.

[665] He wants to kill people.

[666] Newt Gingrich feels comfortable killing people.

[667] You know that.

[668] And you also know that Newt Gingrich makes, would make money off of that.

[669] Newt Gingrich makes money off of, would make money off of, would make money off of killing people.

[670] The people who support war make money off of killing people.

[671] They literally transform human beings into money.

[672] They kill human beings and that turns into money and money's energy.

[673] So what that means is they're vampires.

[674] That's what they really are.

[675] They're vampires.

[676] They convert human energy through destruction into cash.

[677] And then they use that cash to make their lives better.

[678] Just like vampires sink their fangs into people.

[679] suck the blood to stay alive.

[680] It's the same thing.

[681] It's vampiric.

[682] It's a vampiric form of existence.

[683] And it's really fucking terrifying when you realize that it's 100 % true.

[684] Not only is it 100 % true, it doesn't seem to be any way to get them out other than them dying and young people taking their place.

[685] Young people who grew up with the internet.

[686] Yeah.

[687] Well, it seems like a certain amount of the way the system is.

[688] It's like they've sort of just accepted it.

[689] You know, and everyone is accepted that it's just a fuck wash but you but you have to think i don't think that they're unaware of the fact of where they're where they're fallible i think they know where they're fallible but they can't correct it i i think that they maybe they know what they're doing in a really intense way because they've had infinite amounts of money to study human psychology and to understand how to control populations and they got it down to a science man there's a great fucking documentary on the bbc called the century of the self have you seen that Edward Bernays.

[690] It's this guy Bernays who was like Freud's cousin.

[691] And it's all about the ways that they started studying how to manipulate the perception of populations for the sake of corporations.

[692] So, for example, cigarette companies approached Bernays.

[693] And they're like, listen, women don't want to smoke right now because they think it's too masculine.

[694] What do you think we can do to make it so that women want to smoke?

[695] And so Bernays said, well, you need to make women feel like it's a form of activism or they're like pushing against a male dominated culture.

[696] It's like make it part of the women's rights movement.

[697] So what they did is they got a bunch of these girls to march during the Macy Day, Macy's Day parade.

[698] And at one point, they told all the press that they were going to do this.

[699] At one point, the women lifted up their dresses and like pulled cigarettes out of their garters or whatever and started smoking in front of all these reporters.

[700] They were snapping pictures.

[701] And so the reporters put that in all these newspapers.

[702] women's women want the right to smoke now of a sudden what bernays did or what the cigarette companies did is they tied into the DNA of the women's rights movement smoking so now smoking becomes an empowerment an empowerment and a sign of feminism and all of a sudden women start smoking it totally works so yeah yeah it totally works so so it's like so stuff like and that was a long time ago man so that was a long time ago so they started studying you know they started studying it's just like imagine like somebody who heard sheep or imagine somebody who is in charge of any kind of animal, a beekeeper, for example, or anyone who's in charge of controlling animals, they're experts.

[703] They know how to, like, they know how to do, like turkey hunters are the same way.

[704] They're not a turkey calls and just a perfect way to make a turkey appear and to blast it.

[705] So I think that people put a lot of money into studying human perception and the way people work.

[706] And I think maybe they, what we think, the amount of control that we think we wield is it's an illusion i don't know when i see those fucking black friday videos you know when you see the black friday videos of thousands of people stampeding through a walmart banging down the door of a fucking walmart like zombies have you ever seen that video yeah absolutely when you see that it's really to me it's like man i mean maybe you and me and a few other people have these ideas but in general as a herd it seems like they've gotten people so doped up and dumb down that uh i i don't know that they're making too many mistakes i think they make mistakes here and there i think they fuck up and a drone you know okay i think there's a lot of shit that's going on that is just coincidental and is more of a a symptom of the the way we've sort of developed as a society than a grand plan and it's more of them filling in the gaps that were available, taking advantage of a lot of situations that are available.

[707] I don't think that it's one gigantic group with a fucking finger on all the marionette handles.

[708] I think it's worse than that.

[709] I think it's, you know, the term gestalt.

[710] You ever heard that term?

[711] Yes.

[712] So I think it's the gestalt.

[713] I think it's like the, somehow the super consciousness that has emerged from this group of people collaborating, his, there's like a, it's become its own thing.

[714] It's become an organizing force that's organizing towards the negative and towards the vampiric and not organizing towards the positive.

[715] Did you listen to the, you didn't listen to Bruce Lipton?

[716] I didn't.

[717] It was really interesting.

[718] He was on the podcast yesterday, and one of the things he was talking about was the importance of creating a community, like a good community of people you feed off their energy, and those people that you're around and you feed off their energy, you know, if they're positive, you'll actually feel better.

[719] You'll have a more positive life.

[720] And it totally makes sense.

[721] Totally.

[722] oh yeah that's it's the most important like that's one of the reasons that people advise uh spending time in atrams or spending time around people who are meditating because you from being around people who are working and also it's the same with martial arts you want if you're around people who are fighters and you see the different forms and styles that they're using that's going to you're going to evolve just from being around them and seeing what they're doing yeah so yeah it you know it's like you well you learn techniques of thinking too That's one of things that people always comment on this podcast.

[723] People, oh, I get emails and tweets and Facebook messages, where people are always talking about how, you know, they don't know anybody that thinks the way they think.

[724] They don't have anybody that has the interest or who looks at things in just the raw, honest, black and white view that you see.

[725] And here's my perceptions, and it's not flavored by what's politically correct.

[726] And it's not flavored by, you know, what's thought to be acceptable behavior.

[727] It's what I really think.

[728] And I want to know if you think the same.

[729] thing.

[730] And when you do that, it resonates with people.

[731] They don't know anybody else who's doing that.

[732] Right.

[733] Well, so yeah, so right.

[734] So in that same way that like this podcast has, because of the incredible connection, it's given me with like shitloads of fucking people, my evolution sped up because I'm constantly getting like amazing videos, book recommendations, basic things from people.

[735] Links, Twitter links and crazy stories.

[736] Yeah.

[737] So it's certainly, altered me and I in it for the positive now imagine 100 % it may need me as well you know as I've been a part of it you know as like doing the podcast being a part of it it's completely um enhanced my my perception of things and people have cleared up uh things that I didn't understand before people have sent me alternative points of view that also should be considered like there's so many interesting bits of information that keep coming at you from all these different forms right it's creating a feedback loop what I was getting at is that this what these people have put together, what the people involved in the military industrial complex have put together, is a very high level, evil version of that.

[738] That's it, man. They have a high level, evil version of thinking, where everyone is thinking along the same way, and you have to make sacrifices, and you've got to crack some eggs to make an omelet, and all of this thinking is put into a mindset, and that mindset is enforced into the troops, beaten into their head, supported through their ranks, applied to corporations.

[739] And many of them, and it's really like, when you consider that many of the people at the top of the power structures are fundamentalist Christians, it's hilarious.

[740] Now, imagine this.

[741] Imagine that they weren't fundamentalist Christians.

[742] Imagine they were just, you know, cultists, and they believed in a dark god.

[743] They worshipped a dark god, and this dark god was a child sacrificer, and it sacrificed its own son at one point, spilled the blood of its own son out of school.

[744] some sense of obligation or power and that they were praying and worshiping daily to a dark god who was planning revenge on the majority of the human race and was right now at this very moment planning and getting ready to destroy the planet with plagues and different and horsemen and trumpets and weird like crazy fucking angels that were going to fly down and kill and poison the waters of the earth and they're worshiping this god daily they go to church and worship a god that wants to destroy the planet every fucking day they pray to this god oh lord give me the courage to lead today so that i may be prepared for when you return and destroy the planet that's who they fucking pray to man that's god they pray to god they pray to a god that wants to wipe us out throw us in hell kill the fucking homosexuals destroy the majority of the planet so all that's left is a few john mccane style honkies with their feet in a river of blood waving up at Gabriel or worshipping God, like walking down streets of gold, waving American flags.

[745] That's the freaks who are, a lot of them are running this fucking country, man. That ain't good.

[746] That's not good.

[747] That's bad.

[748] I don't want anyone having access to a nuclear arsenal that worships a God that's planning on, at some random time, blasting the planet I'm living on and wiping out the majority of the people because he's pissed about what they did to his fucking hippie kid 22 ,000 years ago like come on man forget about it I wasn't alive back then I can't help it that they fucking threw your kid up on a cross I had nothing to do with it why are you coming back to kill their descendants you weirdo give us a fucking break your god travel back in time and pluck him off the fucking cross man yeah and isn't he controlling this whole game doesn't he have it can he just come down and give us better directions he just gives you this game and you just fuck this game up and you're supposed to read some old manual on how to play the game and it's interpreted through three different languages and it was just a spoken word thing for a thousand years before that so who knows how much of it's fucking valid and this is how you're playing the game and you're fucking up along the way and everybody's telling you keep fucking up and he's going to come and he's going to take you away he's going to take you away and he's going to put you in a dark dark place forever but there's his thoughts and they have these ideas and these urges and they seem to be natural you better suppress those but I want to fuck I want to fuck all the time you're gonna go to hell you're gonna go to hell this guy's an asshole I want to kill him you can't do it you can't kill him and that's the most amazing thing that these same people all of a sudden you're allowed to kill them if some sanctioned group says absolutely you can do you can even say you're doing it for God may God bless you all wow God is blessing us to go jack some people we don't know their god their god I call their god loon loon and it's this weird fucking creature reminds me of an HP love craft, demon spirit, if you change the name of their God, well, their God doesn't have a name that's a nameless God.

[749] It's a nameless God.

[750] It's like out of fucking Conan.

[751] It's a nameless, it's an invisible nameless God.

[752] And they worship the invisible, nameless God.

[753] And part of worshiping the invisible nameless God is sending kids off to war and fucking letting the kids kill people.

[754] And another part of worshiping the invisible nameless God is making it so gay people can't get married.

[755] The invisible nameless one.

[756] You know what he hates, Joe?

[757] What?

[758] He fucking...

[759] Buc sex?

[760] Hates butt sex.

[761] Damn.

[762] Why do you make it feel so good?

[763] The one with no name!

[764] He curses the gays.

[765] The one with no name.

[766] He doesn't like butt sex.

[767] He really upsets him.

[768] You know the Little Richard song, Tootie Fruity.

[769] Used to be Tootie Fruity Good Booty.

[770] No, it didn't.

[771] That's why Little Richard is...

[772] He was damned.

[773] He's eternally damned by this fucking loon -loon.

[774] Tudy -Fruity Good Booty.

[775] Evil man. He's an evil man. Did you see that dumb cartoon I made, by the way?

[776] No. Jesus heals gay?

[777] No. I, like, re -did, like, I took an old Christian cartoon of Jesus healing a leper and just replaced the words with him healing a homosexual.

[778] Oh, pull that up.

[779] Pull that up.

[780] Listen, I did it in, like, four hours, so it ain't, you know, looking at professional, fucking, this ain't going to be no. It's ain't going to be no Pixar.

[781] Don't, you know, have to qualify at first.

[782] You're so humble.

[783] No, I will, when you, I have to be.

[784] This is not a. Hey, we should talk about that, um, that scale.

[785] that you did that's like that I got you I'm going to get you sucker sketch.

[786] Let's clear that out.

[787] Because I know for a fact that Duncan did not remember that thing when he made that sketch.

[788] And I also know it because I didn't remember that sketch in that movie either.

[789] Duncan made a video with Natasha, a hilarious video.

[790] What's it called?

[791] It's called Falling apart.

[792] Falling apart.

[793] And the idea of the video, there's a scene where the girl starts taking off fake parts.

[794] And there's a scene and I'm going to get you sucka where the same thing happened where he's alone with this girl keen and ivy wayans is alone with his chick and she starts taking off all these parts i completely forgot about that even though i'm a big fan of keenan ivory wayans and i know i saw that movie i completely forgot about it and i know that duncan did not know about it because when first of all i know duncan he would never do something like that you're one of the most you have some of the most clear artistic integrity out of almost anybody that i've ever met thanks man it's you're you're a hundred legit in what you do to the point where you wouldn't even do the Pauly Shore reality show.

[795] That's true.

[796] He walked away from a money job on a television show where he was going to be on a reality show.

[797] Just to stick to my integrity thing, I would like to say there was no money.

[798] It wasn't like I was walking away from, I wasn't getting paid for the pop.

[799] It would have benefited you.

[800] I thought you'd get paid for it.

[801] You weren't getting paid.

[802] No money at all?

[803] I don't think that's legal.

[804] I don't even think that's legal.

[805] To put you on television, I think they have to give you, they have to give you like some after minimum.

[806] No, that's what I thought because it was a. documentary technically they weren't going to pay yeah it's a documentary yeah but it was all scripted everything you did was scripted that was my feeling they was all scripted that was my feeling but they all they do that with all these reality shows mean they create things for them to do well i think i think in the in the in the long run maybe someone could have contested it or something but really if it if it if there had been money i would have still walked away could have been a good show and it could have been a good show if it wasn't what it was that was a poly shore showcase but it would it could have been was like a real realistic viewpoint of all these dudes who were doing stand -up who are out there scratching and clawing and that that real intense creative environment that was that comedy store man there was there was some you know when we were around back then the comedy store with you and me and Diaz and Ari and you know there's a lot of good guys there dude I got to tell you man it's fucking great right now I mean like it's fucking really good there right now the crowds are it's packed it's got a really cool vibe but like but that that fucking polly thing man it was like there was a lot of reasons that i i walked away from that and and one of the biggest ones um aside from the fact that i did not want i desperately didn't want to be in it was that i had gotten trapped at that job as a talent coordinator i'd been doing that job for a long time and i needed a way out and it was just a perfect exit mechanism for me and it was so that show was like i i'm so happy that that show happened because it got me the fuck out of man you can get stuck at a desk man yeah you can get stuck at a job but as far as the wayans brother movie stuff goes yeah so let me let me just explain it um the scenes are very similar but duncan sort of has a completely different point to it but look the idea of someone having something fake i mean how many movies are the thing when a guy grabs a girl's hair and it's a wig and she's bald like four or five scraggly hairs there's been like a bunch of those scenes yeah it's a naked gun yeah I mean, it's just one of those, it's like a comedy device.

[807] It's almost like a spit take that someone's got a fake leg or fake arm.

[808] But both videos, the King Ivery Wayan ones and yours, took it to the end -moth degree, which is, by the way, what you naturally do when you make something funny.

[809] You always, the more you beat on it, the funnier it gets.

[810] And it's essentially the same joke.

[811] Well, so where that idea came from that I did, and I have seen I'm going to get you Succa, and I did not remember that scene and if I had it, I never would have done it.

[812] That's a scary thing, right?

[813] When an idea is in your head and it comes out, you're like, God, damn it, that was too easy.

[814] Well, no, see, here's the thing.

[815] What that idea came from was from watching Natasha take her earrings off.

[816] And I was watching her take her earrings off, and then I started thinking about, like, how, like, when you're dating someone, when you're, like, when you're in a relationship with someone or you start dating somebody, and, you know, part of it is you begin to, like, disassemble their, personality you know the more you get to know someone when you've been with someone for a very long time you're in a relationship or you're married you get to know the deepest part of them you end up getting to know very very deep parts of them that are hidden by the hidden by their personalities and things that they don't ever display in public or maybe they don't even know about you get to know the deepest levels man when you're when you've been having sex with someone for a long time and you know like the deepest level of a person and you've been living with someone so anyway I was thinking like man it's so weird how that's what it's all about is basically just like plucking away the different pieces of someone until all they are is just this primal spark that you're fucking so that was the idea that's where it came from and uh you know that's what you look think of when you look at natasha taking off her earrings yeah i was pretty high man but but so but so um so uh anyway that's that's what the idea came from we we had to pitch it We pitched it to Adam TV.

[817] They never...

[818] Keep talking.

[819] We pitched it to Adam TV.

[820] They didn't know about the...

[821] They didn't mention the Wayans thing.

[822] We made the fucking thing.

[823] And then immediately a few people posted links to the Wayans Brothers thing.

[824] It's like, God, fucking damn it, man. Is it really, really similar?

[825] Because I saw the movie, but I barely remember it.

[826] I think that it's...

[827] It's a member of fake layers.

[828] It's the exact same device, which is disassembling a woman.

[829] but the ending's totally different and the point of the thing's totally different.

[830] But to me, what was really surprising and intense about it was that some people like really use that against me in like kind of like a really angry fucking way.

[831] Like on Twitter and YouTube?

[832] Like, I didn't even know this happened.

[833] I got some like shitty messages from people, but it's like if I'm going to steal, right?

[834] If I'm going to steal something.

[835] I'm going to steal a sketch.

[836] I'm going to steal fucking something.

[837] You know what I'm not.

[838] not going to steal it from i'm not going to steal it from a fucking wayans movie you know like why it's so obscure it's probably easier to hide i'm going to get you sucker well it's one of the most popular you you have to um you have to consider it it is possible that you're might had it in your head and that you forgot oh well sure i i of course but that shit happens to me all the it happens it happens man but here's the thing a lot of a lot of jokes are a form of math it's like an equation if you take a premise it's an equation and if you break that equation down it has natural logical connections in that equation and a lot of comedic minds are going to yes if you give them a premise they're going to come up parallel thinking unfortunately though you saw that other one first yes i did so that kind of factors out it could have been juiced in my brain but i still though there it is like uh wayans has got a transvestite i think it's a transvestite someone she appears hot at first and he takes her apart then she's not hot as i recall from it he flees and that's it uh you know what i mean it's like it is the same of course he's not the same thing he's not an absurdist yeah i mean you're it's like you know it's like i'm fucking making her i'm making her but it's you can't really defend it though because it is exactly the same joke you know what i'm saying like if someone was someone stole the joke from you but then just twisted it into that and i know you didn't steal it that would be no there's like there's no like no excuse you can't say well i did it differently.

[839] Of course, you thought of it on your own.

[840] What can I fucking do?

[841] It's like, it's, it's there on the internet.

[842] There's nothing I do about it.

[843] Is it true that you're not even Mexican?

[844] My name's Ned.

[845] I, no, man. But it's, um, you know what I'm saying?

[846] It's like, it's like, it, it, it's, it's, it's, it's unavoidable.

[847] What it is, you got to go, oh, shit, I didn't, whoops.

[848] Listen to me, Wands.

[849] I'm going to steal your fucking sketches from now on.

[850] I've made the decision.

[851] Don't say that someone will cut that.

[852] I'm just kidding.

[853] I love you.

[854] Yeah.

[855] It's going to just, actually.

[856] They're going to edit that part out.

[857] Don't unleash the hackers, Joe.

[858] They're going to cut out that part, and you just fucked up.

[859] Yeah, you just were really fucked up.

[860] Yeah, you said something you should never say.

[861] That's going to be so much ring, well, I say rude, mean things and pretend.

[862] That's a tired form of comedy.

[863] Give me a break.

[864] You know what's fucking funny, dude?

[865] The soup.

[866] I did the soup this morning.

[867] That show is funny, dude.

[868] I did not know.

[869] They had a bunch of really funny sketches where they were making fun of the chick How high were you, Real Housewives?

[870] I was sober.

[871] Stone Cold's sober.

[872] They were making fun of, of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills like one of the crazy chicks that's kind of cracked out in the show.

[873] One of the writers does a hilarious version of this chick.

[874] I had to, I just guessed by seeing it.

[875] It was hard to hear because it was really loud in there.

[876] But I asked her, like right away.

[877] I was like, that's like the girl from Real Housewives.

[878] She's like, yeah, and I high -fived her.

[879] It was like really funny shit, man. That Joel McHale dude, he's fucking funny.

[880] He's got great delivery.

[881] And the writers are really funny, man. They had some funny shit on Kim Kardashian.

[882] And dude, I watched this one show, this access morning show, where this guy, they were goofing on it.

[883] It's on tonight's episode.

[884] You have to watch this because you can't believe this is real.

[885] This guy is reading from his Blackberry and he's talking about his help, his Mexican help.

[886] We gave him a chance to serve the other day.

[887] You know, he'd never serve before.

[888] Here you go.

[889] Here's your shot.

[890] Oh, my God, dude.

[891] It's so gross.

[892] And then he reads the guy's text in broken English.

[893] Oh, me leg shaking all day.

[894] He reads it in like a Mexican accent.

[895] dude it's it's like you watch it you go my god someone pull that guy aside and give him a mushroom trip yeah someone give that dude a mushroom trip and a mirror and sit him in a room and tell him to think about his life the fuck man yeah it's pretty disturbing that's just that's it's so clueless like you can hear him doing it's just so clueless it's like so weird that you don't you don't think that people are going to find that really gross it really makes me believe in the idea that like there's like two species happening right now like humans are differentiating and like some humans are jumping away from the uh what what most humans are i think some people are splitting away because like for me to be in a mind state where i thought like that or i acted like that or i read someone's text and and in like some stereotypical mexican accent to humiliate them if i was for me to be he didn't even think he was i would have to i think i'd have to have a head injury and imagine if i started doing that you'd be authentically worried about me. You'd think I'd had a breakdown or something.

[896] This is how this person lives every day of their fucking life.

[897] So it's like, what is that?

[898] What kind of being is that?

[899] That's a human.

[900] I know it's a human.

[901] But it's not the same kind of human I am.

[902] That's a different kind of human.

[903] That's a full of shit human.

[904] That's a, I don't know what it is.

[905] How old is that thing?

[906] How old is that guy?

[907] He's in his 30s.

[908] So this is a guy in his 30s.

[909] He's managed to get to his 30s and he's still like that.

[910] nothing's knocked him off the path he's never you know when you see someone like that you know a few things you know that he's never smoked pot probably it's probably definitely never taken acid never eaten mushrooms probably he's never heard really good music and he's like he's like one of those salamanders that never really goes through the transformation because the water never reaches a certain alkaline level yeah that's what he is man you know you ever hear of those there's certain you know there's certain animals that never metamorphosize yeah that the word Metamorphosize?

[911] There's certain animals that if the conditions are incorrect or if there's pollution in the environment, all kinds of different factors have to be taken into account.

[912] Otherwise, they won't make the connection.

[913] He's like a puppy that's eyes didn't open or ears didn't open.

[914] You know, its eyes stayed fucking shut.

[915] It's a silly hippie argument that everybody needs psychedelics.

[916] But, you know, it's not everybody.

[917] I'm not saying everybody needs them, but goddamn, a lot of people could use them.

[918] A lot of people.

[919] If they would just study them and they would just distribute it.

[920] them through experts.

[921] Imagine what this world would be like if we had centers where you could go as a young man to have a psychedelic experience to get a broader view of the universe.

[922] And someone takes you in and they do blood work on you and make sure you're healthy.

[923] And then they sit you down and you watch documentaries and you take a class.

[924] And when you graduate from the class and the class is all about pharmacology and the way that different things interact with your body.

[925] And when you're done with this class, you feel educated and you feel like you can make your own decision whether or not you want to try this.

[926] And if you do want to try it, then they have a ceremony.

[927] And every kid goes in there and you all, with proper meditation techniques, proper education as to what the history of the use of these substances is, and the history and the anecdotal evidence that it may have been responsible for the actual birth of religion, that this might be what religion is all about.

[928] It might be psychedelic experience.

[929] If we could have that, we could have communities where we did that, where you'd have a big, giant football field fill of people that are doing mushrooms and are putting out positive energy and are there and are balanced healthy people that want to unite together as a species and want to embrace each other and help each other and no one ever get greedy but let's all work together and do this together and you could have a football field filled with people doing this a stadium filled with people doing this that would fix the world and it sounds ridiculous it sounds like you're saying mushrooms would fix the world what would do it better what could possibly have that effect education education doesn't necessarily get through your subconscious education doesn't necessarily get through your programming education doesn't necessarily get through anything in your life that's really ingrained as a behavior pattern it doesn't always you could tell people all day like Brian that cigarettes cause cancer and this silly goof is going to keep buying cigarettes probably more than mushrooms no no it wouldn't mushrooms would do it better than anything sex is just you and there's no enlightening been involved in that, Brian.

[930] It's silly.

[931] The psychedelic experience itself is important.

[932] You need to be humbled.

[933] It's not just everybody, you know, everybody and feel good about it.

[934] Yeah, we've talked about this before when Duncan was on and like, you know, that might be good for like five out of ten people.

[935] And the other five, they're so terrified they're not going to ever leave the house again.

[936] That's not necessarily the case because if it was done correctly through some sort of a shamanic center where they actually evaluated people and, you know, and taught them and educated them, he'd probably be able to weed out the people who were fucked up and you probably like dude reality itself is a little fucking slippery for you maybe you should not be doing this maybe we should look into like riddling for you maybe we should you know what I'm saying I mean sure I'm you know a lot of people are 100 % anti antidepressants they're like fuck that dude you're ruining your brain chemistry fuck that dude don't let them change your brain I know several people where it's literally changed their life for the better and saved their life maybe even I know several people so I would never say that I would never say that.

[937] Well, man, there's no fucking, I mean, the thing is, there's no rules.

[938] It's like you, this is, the main rule is, this is your incarnation and you get to do what you want with it.

[939] The idea is to, like, as much as you can, expand in your, your levels of happiness and your awareness so that you can feel connected and good in this existence.

[940] And there are a lot of tools to do that.

[941] Some of the tools take a long fucking time to do.

[942] And I think, like, when McKenna was talking about mushrooms being the most obvious tool to transform the to create like a huge wide scale transformation on the planet he recognized that there's not a lot of time that's what he was thinking it's not like we've got a ton of fucking time to create like meditation temples or to spread good information or to spread some new religion there's no time for that shit you would if you really wanted to transform these weird people who worship invisible homophobic child sacrificing gods if you wanted to transform people who feel comfortable dropping bombs on other people, then the quickest way to do it would be to give them a substance that allowed them to connect to each other into the earth and to develop an instantaneous form of empathy unlike anything else.

[943] And then when they came back too, it'd be much more difficult to think about, to perceive what their weird invisible God in the same way.

[944] Yeah, it's almost like we're moving in a direction, in a terrible direction, because we don't have the proper ingredients.

[945] So because we don't have the proper ingredients, we can't feel what we're doing.

[946] It's almost like we have a numb arm probing into the darkness.

[947] That that numb arm is scratching the fuck out of reality.

[948] And we don't know it because we just can't feel it.

[949] But if we could just feel it, if we could add this other ingredient into the mixture that is life, well then, okay, now all your pieces are in order, and now you can see and feel what you're doing.

[950] Because the big problem with human beings when it comes to pollution, when it comes to destroying the atmosphere, when it comes to the idea of what these nuclear, disasters we're not feeling it we don't feel it we don't feel the damage that we're doing we don't feel the garbage patch in the ocean you don't feel anything when you throw when you when you take a water bottle and then you toss it in the garbage can you did your job i'm done i'm done i have no connection with this anymore and then we don't feel when it goes into the ocean and becomes a fucking patch that's floating that's as big as texas we we don't feel that and that that is a lack of a connection that's a missing thing that's an animal that doesn't have all of its ingredients Well, it's fucking blind.

[951] That's what it is.

[952] It's blind.

[953] And everyone's stumbling around blind and their focuses on material gain and their focuses on shit that can, if it does make you happy, it's a form of very transient temporary happiness that's used for a lot of people.

[954] It's usually followed by, like, depression and stress.

[955] Like people who buy shit, they can't afford getting the debt to the banks and become slaves.

[956] And so, yeah, man, people are, people have lost the initial or original connection with the spirit of the earth.

[957] You know, if you think about like ayahuasca and the people and drinking it in the jungle and communing with the mind of nature.

[958] And then getting direction from the tribe from the mind of nature.

[959] And for people to think this is hippie bullshit, when scientists first came to the Amazon and discovered ayahuasca, they tried to call it telepathine.

[960] That's what they were going to try to talk.

[961] That's what they were going to name it as.

[962] because of the fact that they were able to have these telepathic experiences with each other and they all communicated about having shared visions and shared hallucinations.

[963] So they were going to call it telepathine, but it was already, the chemical in it was already named Harmin or whatever the substance was.

[964] So they had to stick with the name Harmin.

[965] Well, see, this substance, I think for these people has been a form of spiritual compass.

[966] It points in the right direction.

[967] It sets you straight.

[968] It's like a tuning fork for your soul.

[969] But it's amazing that talking about this, how did this happen?

[970] Talking about this is ridiculous.

[971] Talking about this is absolutely silly.

[972] I feel nervous when we start talking about mushrooms can change the world because I'm like, who the fucking, you know, what is this idiot saying?

[973] You know, what kind of nonsense is he saying?

[974] Meanwhile, you're compelled.

[975] Meanwhile, you're compelled to say, listen, I know it sounds stupid.

[976] I know I'm a goofy looking fuck.

[977] I know I'm the fear factor guy.

[978] I know, you know, who the hell am I?

[979] I barely got through high school, went to three years of college where I halfway paid attention.

[980] But I'm saying that we might be overlooking one of the biggest tools that human beings have ever had for evolving and developing.

[981] And that might be why the fucking train is off the tracks and into the woods.

[982] It might be that the animal isn't balanced.

[983] And it might be that the animal literally developed eating all this stuff.

[984] The animal might have become consciousness and aware from being a sense.

[985] savage eating all this stuff.

[986] It might be, you know, we might have a symbiotic relationship on this earth with certain plants that we've made illegal.

[987] We might need them in order to be aware of our potential, the potential harm that we can do, the potential good that we can do, the value of positivity.

[988] There's no might about it.

[989] The value of positivity is so important when you're on a substance.

[990] That is where all bad trips come from, all bad trips come from some negativity, whether it's a paranoia, whether it's a fear, whether it's a bad memory that you have, that you're trying to avoid shitty behavior that haunts you, that you can't correct, whatever the fuck it is that triggers the bad trip.

[991] It's always a negative thing.

[992] Well, what it is, is what's happening is when you're taking a psychedelic, you're being given a glimpse at yourself from a distance that maybe you can't have an obtained.

[993] And you, like, meditation will give you that distance.

[994] It gives you a form of intense mindfulness and so all of a sudden you're able to see the I think the root of whatever pattern your life has become and the root is a feeling and that feeling for a lot of people can be a negative feeling and so that's when people say you know I don't like smoke a pot man because it makes me get introspective I get paranoid and nervous it's like no pot is not making you paranoid pot is showing you the paranoia that exists deep within you that's causing you to act fucking weird and causing your relationship to be a little more dulled than they need to be and causing your actions to be a little muted because you're afraid of the reaction that people are going to have to you because you're still stuck in survival.

[995] You want to survive so bad that you're scared and you've covered that up with all the different, whatever clothes you've decided you're going to wear in this incarnation and your tattoos or whatever you've learned.

[996] But deep within that, behind all that for a lot of people is something that you could easily term negative energy, but I think it's fear.

[997] yeah it's fear and that and psychedelics show you that and so the way to trip and these sinners that you're talking about and if they're really these sinners were there then when someone started experiencing a difficult trip then these people would instead of getting them away from that they in the best way possible try to turn the person to it like what is that fear is that fear real because the joy of a psychedelic is when you have the balls to go into the darkness and all of a sudden you realize that darkness was a complete illusion.

[998] All the darkness and negativity and spooky shit and guilt and fear and crap you thought was inside you and all the bad things you thought you've done and all the things that you feel terrible about secretly you realize that's nothing.

[999] It's an illusion.

[1000] The universe loves you.

[1001] You're completely embraced by the entire universe.

[1002] You're an incremental part of the functioning of the cosmos and you're an incredible, wonderful, perfect fucking thing.

[1003] And when you get a glimpse of that, it's the greatest feeling ever because you're healed because that's what true healing is man true healing is realizing you were never sick in the first place true healing's realizing you were just you just had some fucking uh you had a little bit of dust on the windshield man you had to brush it off you know that's all and that's and that's what psychedelics do for you and you know what else does that for you really good therapy but really good therapy costs a lot of money and it takes a long fucking time and you have to be open to it you have to be open to change and smart and you have to have the ability to recognize your own faults.

[1004] Some people just have this weird shield between them and reality where they've become successful because they never admit guilt.

[1005] And they just press forward and they rationalize every single thing they do.

[1006] And they just press forward.

[1007] And that becomes a mindset just as much as, you know, what we're talking about.

[1008] That becomes just how work is done, you know?

[1009] And that's how militaries work.

[1010] That's the only way they work.

[1011] You have to fall into a mindset.

[1012] Yeah.

[1013] Well, yeah, that's how, I mean, that's the thing.

[1014] We've all, we've all fallen into a mindset.

[1015] And a lot of the fundamentalist Christians, they've fallen into these rituals and patterns, but they don't have a real connection anymore.

[1016] So they're faking it, or they're actually just like taking cues from like really charismatic lunatics.

[1017] Wouldn't it be awesome if the military really was our bravest and boldest who wanted to protect us and who were led by the most moral and intelligent people on the planet?

[1018] Yeah.

[1019] And that these really truly were heroes.

[1020] And in case some shit goes down, they're never puppets.

[1021] They're only heroes.

[1022] There's no doubt whatsoever that they're only doing the right thing.

[1023] Wouldn't that be beautiful?

[1024] Yeah, they'd be like celebrities.

[1025] Wouldn't that be beautiful?

[1026] Well, they should be.

[1027] Most of them really want to be heroes.

[1028] You know, most of them really want to protect.

[1029] It's the people that are putting them there.

[1030] Those are the problems.

[1031] The people that are pointing you and that goes, those are the bad guys.

[1032] Go get them.

[1033] I'll be over here with a pencil to write down how many you kill.

[1034] And if you do a good job, I give you a shiny piece of metal and I stick it to your fucking chest.

[1035] Oh.

[1036] Yeah.

[1037] It's so fucking sad, man. It's so sad and disturbing.

[1038] And it's like, it's so easy to get caught up in that.

[1039] You know, it's so easy to get caught up in the macro of the darkness that's in the world.

[1040] But man, I think the trick is to like only spend a little time on that and spend more time fucking working on the real basic things in your life that you can do right now to like to make things a little better.

[1041] Because a lot of people will focus on Kim Trails.

[1042] when they need to be focusing on stopping smoking.

[1043] Like, I, I had a person described Kim Trails to me, smoking a fucking Marl, like, talking about, man, they're fucking dropping this shit on us that's sickening us, making us stupid.

[1044] It's like, dude, you know you're inhaling cancerous smoke created by a fucking corporation that's making money, that's making money after killing you.

[1045] Who cares about some fucking Kim trails, but.

[1046] brother you gotta stop smoking first you know what i mean like that's probably way worse that many more people are dying from cigarette smoke they're dying from chem trails yeah that's silly so those are the steps but people it's a really simple thing to do you get caught up in the macro instead of being like you know what here's the thing you can try instead of worrying about chem trails why don't you fucking get a good recipe book of like raw recipe book try eating raw for a few days and see if that makes you feel better cut out some fucking cut out eating processed food for a few days not forever just for a few days.

[1047] Well, the issue is there, a lot of them are really misinformed and they really do believe that there's this constant aerial bombardment.

[1048] But one of the reasons why they believe it is because they have done some chemical spraying on people and they've done it against people's will.

[1049] It's a fact.

[1050] Sure.

[1051] You know, it's not, I don't believe it's happening every day.

[1052] I think a lot of what people are seeing is called Con Trails.

[1053] It's a natural thing that happens when jet engines encounter moisture in the atmosphere was explained to me by a pilot in great detail.

[1054] Yeah, but let's go fight the Kim Trail pilots when we've got a clear head because we haven't been eating shitty food and when we feel like fit because we've been exercising, that's when we can start waging the real war.

[1055] My point is, my point is the reason why they believe that there's chem trails is because there have been chem trails.

[1056] They really have been.

[1057] The government has experimented.

[1058] I have no doubt.

[1059] I don't think they're doing it all the time, but it has happened.

[1060] Not only has it happened, but in certain states, like Like, God, was it Georgia?

[1061] I forget what state it is.

[1062] Anyway, the point is that it's literally like written into insurance laws.

[1063] Like there's things about, you know, like chemicals spraying that like, you know, you insure against them.

[1064] I believe, I'm, you know, I'm speaking out of hand right here because I don't know the exact details of it.

[1065] It seems a little blurry in my mind right now where I'm trying to pull it up.

[1066] But I remember whatever it was, this little piece of legislation, whether it was something about insurance.

[1067] or not, whatever it was, it was written down, it was essentially saying that there will be weather -controlled experiments, and that they will do something to alter the weather.

[1068] And we know that in Abu Dhabi, they made it rain 50 times last year.

[1069] Wow.

[1070] So they essentially made it rain once a week with a plane flying over.

[1071] I think it's aluminum oxide and barium or something.

[1072] I forget what it is that they spray into the air.

[1073] But they spray it, and somehow or another, it makes these clouds form and it makes rainfall in the desert in Abu Dhabi man it's amazing I mean it's incredible so if we know that they're doing that Well they gave people They didn't just learn how to do it over there Is my point They probably practice some shit here And they you know And they probably been doing it here In small doses For a long time You know Well yeah I mean like Pretty much Anything that I found out About the government doing I wouldn't be that surprise Like no matter When you say syphilis You're talking about the Tuskegee Yeah They fucking blasted they get you what is the exact details of that they infected a bunch of black people right i think what it was was they told some that they're being treated and they weren't being treated with any medication they lied to them to see the degenerative effects of the disease dude on this century of the self thing there's a they were interviewing the fucking main psychologist for the CIA during the 60s and the 70s and he's just talking about all the shit they did with LSD experiments where they like white people's pasts away they would blast you on acid and give you a lecture shock therapy V to try to fucking erase your personality.

[1074] Like, they've done all kinds of crazy shit, and they probably are continuing to do crazy shit.

[1075] And there's a really good chance that when you're driving through any public space, you're being bombarded with subliminal messages, and all the billboards that you're seeing that are turning you into a, into a fucking rabid consumer that only wants to eat and drink, and doesn't ever want to think about anything more than getting a raise and getting drunk at night.

[1076] And it may be that this is all intentional.

[1077] But what I'm saying is, if you worry about that too much then you're not going to do your dishes and you're going to have roaches in your fucking apartment and then you're going to start feeling depressed and then you get really caught deep in the trap to the first thing you have to do is like come to your senses that's the first thing and the easiest way to come to your senses is to like stop taking the fucking stop putting the pills in your mouth you know in the like movies about mental asylums inevitably the hero will always start putting the pills under his bed and have that little line of pills under his bed and all of a sudden he's come to his senses again and he can plan his escape.

[1078] But until you fucking stop taking the pills, you can't plan your escape.

[1079] So it's like, okay, yeah, maybe there's some fucked up shit happening in the world, but you got to stop smoking.

[1080] Maybe there's some fucked up shit happening in the world, but you should run a few times a week.

[1081] Maybe there's fucked up shit happening in the world, but you need to take a shower, brush your teeth, floss, get so that you get clean and healthy, and then when you have more of a clear head, then you can start making real moves and really analyzing what be happening.

[1082] But until then, you're all foggy and fucked up.

[1083] When you see Michael Moore, don't you want to go, dude?

[1084] Forget about the government.

[1085] Yes.

[1086] Take care of yourself, son.

[1087] Yeah.

[1088] You got to deal with a fucking tyranny in yourself.

[1089] You got to deal with the fucking demonic senators and congressmen inside of you that keep telling you to eat a fucking cheeseburger and a bag of Doritos before you go to bed.

[1090] Stop those fucking people first.

[1091] Vito their bills that are coming from inside your heart.

[1092] Is that a self -hate thing?

[1093] Is that that I don't care about my own safety thing.

[1094] It's just like I'm obsessed with my goals.

[1095] I'm obsessed with my interest.

[1096] I don't care about my own personal safety to the point where I'm just going to overfeed myself.

[1097] Yeah.

[1098] No rational thinking, just completely given to impulse.

[1099] It's a, I mean, I think what it is is it's like a, it's a literal rut.

[1100] It's like you've been going in this circle for so long that you can't get out.

[1101] You're like a truck whose wheels are stuck in the mud.

[1102] So you just are stuck in this endless pattern.

[1103] That's what we do.

[1104] Humans get stuck in patterns, you know?

[1105] Totally.

[1106] get knocked you gotta knock yourself out of that pattern somehow and the quickest way to do that is with a psychedelic if you don't want to take a psychedelic then just seriously start i know this sounds super hippie start fucking juicing drink healthy eat healthy just eat healthy i don't care what you eat eat eat fucking healthy phytamix don't chip juice three days vitamin mix is the shit yeah vitamin mix is way better than you're doing that right yeah i just i got this fucking uh it's the best way to force yourself to eat a ton of vegetables dude you just drink it just you know you think about like how much i i eat i have one big cucumber like six stalks of celery five big giant leaves of kale and a big chunk of ginger and a pear and i just blast all that shit there's no way i'm going to sit and eat all that you're so bad i love ginger too spicy i like it you know else you can throw in there that's good man fucking halapenia it's so fucking good i've been dropping jalapenias in the blender with almost everything i made i made a fucking chocolate moose the other day in my blender when i threw a jalapino in there delicious kind of like spicy chocolate you can put in fucking anything you can put it in like you can put it anyway dude you need a show on the food channel you can do anything with a jalapina i put a jalapini in my asshole today the chop what is the slapchop you could be a slap chaper with jalapinio's in the slapchop i gladly do it you'd be like dunkin the jalapeno guy you could have a book i'm dunking the jalapini guys showing you could put jalapinos in anything will he put it in toothpaste he's crazy i put it in my babies out that jalapinos inside toothpaste kills bacteria that he's an listerine can't get to and this is like an ancient way that the mayans used to clean their teeth they chewed on habanero peppers i love it i love imagine if that's true if it's like it kills all the poison why halapinia well that's isn't that one of the things that uh japanese people like to uh use wasabi with sushi because wasabi apparently has an effect on any sort of bacteria.

[1107] I believe it.

[1108] Yeah, I mean, it's fucking blowtorch.

[1109] Shit's hardcore, man. Yeah, snort wasabi.

[1110] Good luck.

[1111] I always fuck that up too, man. I always always fuck it.

[1112] Yeah, inevitably, I take like a giant bite of too.

[1113] I love it.

[1114] I love wasabi.

[1115] I ate up a whole fucking jar of habanero salsa last night.

[1116] I had chips in this big jar of like it would, from the moment I ate the first bite I was like God damn the shit is hot.

[1117] I couldn't stop.

[1118] I was sweating.

[1119] You never get fire shits or anything?

[1120] Yeah, I do.

[1121] So you just take it, you're like, all right, I know I'm going to kill myself.

[1122] I take it, dude.

[1123] I do a fucking, I get in a horse dance.

[1124] I ride over the bowl.

[1125] I'm just thinking as, like, remember in the movie Kung Fu?

[1126] When the flaming pots in front of him, one side has a dragon, the other side is a tiger, and he picks up the pot with his forearms.

[1127] That's fucked up.

[1128] I don't think it's a coincidence that I have a tiger on one arm and a fucking dragon on the other, and I was a fan of the Kung Fu show.

[1129] Oh, well.

[1130] Well, well.

[1131] Well, well.

[1132] how about that yeah it's like with i'm going to get you sucker i stole that i stole that without even thinking about it it was an accident i'm just saying man i'm admitted i stole my to my tattoos from kung fu but i think that's what the motivation was well it's a noble noble motivation you hate kung fu right do do do do there's some kung fu guy who's mad at me he said that the guard is actually called baby monkey it's called baby monkey it's hilarious it's really funny where do you find that Eddie Bravo sent it to me Eddie Bravo sent it to me it's a fucking hilarious you want to play it I'll tell you what part it because I tweeted it what part the guy starts talking shit about me but he's one of those dudes and this is this is true listen there's a lot of people that got upset at me because I said things about kung fu and there's a lot of people because I said Kung Fu is kind of bullshit and a lot of it is just like a bunch of people practicing things like if I come at you like this what would happen I would move to the side and I would attack this way it is it's it's it's like a one step you know in taekwendo we stuff the things called one steps and what it is is you know you would throw a kick and the other guy would counter and what it was is to imprint into your mind what to do once you start sparring and then eventually you start sparring but when you start sparring that's when techniques really get weeded out and that's when you understand what is the most effective use of energy and force what techniques work the best what techniques are really truly applicable and what techniques are really kind of frivolous and a waste of time there's better alternatives well kung fu never did that they didn't have all the sparring they didn't they didn't have kung fu didn't like go and enter into an ultimate fighting championship where it was public and everybody figured it out and it was spread out through the internet so there's the debate amongst all the minds of different martial artists, whether they're kickboxers or wrestlers.

[1133] There's a genuine consensus when it comes to mixed martial arts.

[1134] And that genuine consensus is here's the school, here's the group of effective techniques.

[1135] This is what actually works.

[1136] Yes, you can wheel kick someone in the face.

[1137] Absolutely.

[1138] It's difficult to pull off, but you can wheel kick someone in the face.

[1139] Can you monkey fist them on the nose?

[1140] You can, but that's not the best way to do it.

[1141] The best way to do it is the jab and then one two.

[1142] It's a jab right in.

[1143] What's monkey?

[1144] What's monkey Yes, apparently I made it up.

[1145] Apparently, it's leopard fist.

[1146] The guy told me leopard fist.

[1147] There is no monkey fist.

[1148] You're right.

[1149] There is no monkey fest.

[1150] It's leopard fist.

[1151] But that's his style of Kung Fu.

[1152] Because the dudes also were angry at me. We were talking, man, I hit you in the face with a monkey paw.

[1153] You're going to be upset.

[1154] You know, so I'm like, you know, so there's a monkey paw.

[1155] Then it must be, it must be real.

[1156] See, in his style of martial arts, it's real.

[1157] But in this one kung fu guy, it's a leopard paw.

[1158] And that's the only technique that works.

[1159] I'm not saying that you shit won't work.

[1160] work.

[1161] And it's definitely better than no and nothing at all.

[1162] But as far as is it the best thing to practice?

[1163] No. There might be some good benefit to it.

[1164] But if you want to look at the real true evolution of martial arts, what is martial arts?

[1165] What a martial art is is an art where you figure out what is the best way to attack and disable a train killer.

[1166] That's what you want to be good at.

[1167] You want to be good at beating trained killers.

[1168] You don't want to be good at beating people don't know what they're doing because that's what a lot of people are doing what a lot of martial arts are it's you're developing techniques that really will never work if you're fighting against Anderson Silva you're not going to get them off there is no best one the best one the best one is all the effective techniques of all the martial arts it's take downs from wrestling and judo kicking from karate and moitai jujitsu submissions from judo and jujitsu you know there's all these different things leg locks from samba it's all of these and you don't have to have there's no correct combination of what to use.

[1169] Some guys only use a few of the components, but they have a very unusual physicality, or they're very good at one of these aspects to the point where, especially like a stand -up fighter, like a guy like Anderson Silva, that's his number one specialty, stand -up.

[1170] And he's so good at it, every fight starts standing up, so he has an advantage.

[1171] At the beginning of every fight, he has an advantage.

[1172] And if you can get to that spot, you don't have to be like the best wrestler.

[1173] Like Anderson's not taking people down.

[1174] I mean, I'm sure he could if you wanted to, but you very rarely see him taking people down.

[1175] He just blasts everybody, you know?

[1176] So if you can get really good at certain aspects of it, you know, there is no exact formula what to do.

[1177] But as far as techniques, there's a general consensus of techniques that work, you know, the basic kicks, front kicks and round kicks.

[1178] There's the crazy ones, act kicks, wheel kicks.

[1179] There's all this stuff works.

[1180] But you know what?

[1181] What doesn't work is like crane techniques when you're standing.

[1182] I mean, it will work, but it's better to box.

[1183] It's better to curl your knuckles up and blast them in the face.

[1184] It's better to kick them.

[1185] you know and to kick them correctly the best you got to go to assert i'll tell you when to go i think it's two minutes and four seconds joe rogan here works for mama say kung fu use monkey fist nonsense martial arts nonsense martial arts he's right there is no monkey fist there is a leopard fist but there's no monkey fist but i understand joe tried to say All Kung Fu is nonsense.

[1186] You're fucked, man. Of course, I disagree.

[1187] The funny thing is Joe used the word monkey to laugh and mocking Kung Fu.

[1188] He's reading lines.

[1189] He knows.

[1190] No one used the monkey technique more than the MMA.

[1191] This lip wrapping, this is called baby monkey.

[1192] He's showing the monkey.

[1193] guard you will see baby monkey wrap around the leg around the mommy monkey waistline and the back 65 % of the time and that is exactly what mama using the baby monkey 65 % of the time now who is the monkey here i have no problem with the word monkey As long as it is a good technique like my monkey spinning arm long.

[1194] Monkey spinning arm, watch us.

[1195] NMA fighters are strong and tough.

[1196] But don't be confused.

[1197] Just because they do full contact, then they must be real martial artists.

[1198] Do you think gangster do full contact fighting?

[1199] then they must be all real martial artists absolutely not the difference between a street fighter I think we might be getting trolled that feels like a troll yeah as I'm watching this under the influence of the sacred plant I'm like this guy's obviously reading off of something yeah he's reading up to the side and when I'm listening to it I'm like this guy it doesn't sound like it makes sense and then when he hits that arm bar God dude he does that so slow that's a guy who's not a grappler at all he's not a grappler That guy doesn't know what he's doing.

[1200] Dude, one of the things was called Monkey Baby Baby Monkey.

[1201] This is monkey.

[1202] Baby Monkey.

[1203] That's awesome.

[1204] Well, that might be a technique.

[1205] Very well might be, but it also might be a troll.

[1206] It feels like a troll.

[1207] It feels like a troll.

[1208] That's why he mentioned my name because he knows I'm stupid and I'd bite.

[1209] Yeah.

[1210] And I just went right after it.

[1211] He got me the fuck.

[1212] You and Sam Trip.

[1213] Baby Monkey.

[1214] That's pretty good word, man. I want to see if I could get that for a license plate.

[1215] Baby monkey.

[1216] Baby monkey.

[1217] Baby monkey.

[1218] Baby monkey.

[1219] You wap and wanko, it's a wow we will.

[1220] This technique, it's called baby monkey.

[1221] It's brilliant.

[1222] Whoever did that.

[1223] Congratulations, you did a good job.

[1224] Well done.

[1225] If it is real, sir, please come to 10th planet.

[1226] Sorry if it's real.

[1227] Come to 10th planet Jiu -Jitsu in Los Angeles.

[1228] And I'd love to try out your baby monkey.

[1229] See if I could pass your baby monkey.

[1230] I want to kiss your baby monkeys.

[1231] I bet I could pass your baby monkey.

[1232] I'm just saying right now.

[1233] I mean, I'm no killer.

[1234] I'm no Marcelo Garcia, but I watch your role and I'm pretty sure I could pass your baby monkey.

[1235] That's all I'm saying.

[1236] You try your baby monkey on me, man. I'm going to get side control.

[1237] I'm going to get side control.

[1238] Damn, this is hot.

[1239] I don't give a fuck, bro.

[1240] I don't give a fuck, dude.

[1241] That dude wants to try that whack -ass baby monkey on me?

[1242] I'll show him what's up.

[1243] 10th planet juitsu, bitch.

[1244] And you know the other thing that music?

[1245] Like, if there was music playing during that video, Joe.

[1246] Well, here's my thing.

[1247] It's funny, but if he's serious, if he's serious, it's offensive to me. Because, you know, if he's serious, I don't think he is.

[1248] But if he is serious, it's offensive to all martial arts, because that guy doesn't know what he's doing.

[1249] The way he's hitting that arm bar, I'm like, Jesus Christ.

[1250] You'll never know.

[1251] He's hitting an arm ball, though.

[1252] The one thing, though, is he's hitting it like our kung fu guy, because that's what the kung fu guys, that's what I have a problem with.

[1253] Kung Fu guys react.

[1254] They do techniques, they practice techniques, as if the other person isn't going to react.

[1255] Like, they grab you, and then, you know, I would pull you like this, and attack the liver from this position.

[1256] You know, and they have all this nonsense, like, well, how do you know the guy's still going to be there?

[1257] I know you have a game plan, but it seems to me like you're, this is like you're getting way ahead of yourself here, stupid.

[1258] Dude, can I ask you a martial arts question?

[1259] Sure.

[1260] This happened a very long time ago.

[1261] I used to work at a summer can.

[1262] and they would have, like, a martial artist come every term to, like, demonstrate martial arts to the kids.

[1263] And he was just some guy from, like, some local dojo or something.

[1264] And so he would get a kid, and he gets fucking head, man. He'd, like, had it.

[1265] He'd been shot, like, five times in the head.

[1266] He'd been in Vietnam.

[1267] He's this really intense fucking guy.

[1268] Been shot in the head, really?

[1269] Yeah, he had, like, bull.

[1270] He took something to the head.

[1271] His head out of, like.

[1272] Shrapnel, yeah, Shrapnel.

[1273] So, yeah, shot in the head, probably not.

[1274] So he'll bring a kid down And he'd do this thing where he held the kid's wrist And he'd slap him in the neck And knock the kid out And then like they'd get the kid to stand back up again And it was something I've always like from time to time Wondered like what the fuck was that?

[1275] Is that real?

[1276] Well how hard did he hit the kid?

[1277] Just like a slap you know It's like it didn't seem not really hard No Then it's bullshit So the kid was just like What is that hypnosis?

[1278] Yeah it's a lot of it's a power of suggestion A lot of people dude And this is a very uncomfortable subject.

[1279] I think a lot of people have very weak brains, just like some dudes have little dicks.

[1280] You know, you ever seen a guy in a movie and, like, he has a little dick, and you laugh.

[1281] It's so small, you laugh.

[1282] There's people with little brains, too.

[1283] They have a little dick brain.

[1284] Oh, that's weird.

[1285] That's what it is.

[1286] Their brain just sucks.

[1287] That's fucked up.

[1288] Yeah, and that's why when you go to see, didn't you go with me to the Boston Comedy Connection?

[1289] Didn't you see the R -rated hypnotist with me?

[1290] No. Ari went on stage.

[1291] No, I didn't see that.

[1292] Damn, I wish I thought it was you.

[1293] Brian, was it you?

[1294] Were you there, the R -rated hypnotist?

[1295] No. Must have been Joey.

[1296] What the fuck?

[1297] But, you know, when you watch an R -rated hypnotist show, rest in peace, Mr. Frank Santos, who is the guy that I was discussing, a long -time friend, very hilarious, R -rated hypnotist.

[1298] But he would go on stage, and he'd bring people, and they would sit down, and with the smallest amount of work.

[1299] I mean, close your eyes, concentrate on what I'm going to say.

[1300] I'm not concentrating on my breath.

[1301] I'm going to get three, two, one.

[1302] when I hit one, you're going to think you're with Madonna.

[1303] Madonna, like it's back when Madonna was hot.

[1304] Madonna's underneath you, and she's naked, and you're going to have your wee -wee inside of Madonna.

[1305] On the count of one.

[1306] On three, two, one.

[1307] Where are you, John?

[1308] Oh, oh, oh, you see this guy who is just a normal person and was just 15, 20 seconds ago.

[1309] He was just sitting there with his eyes closed, and now this guy really thinks he's fucking Madonna.

[1310] Like, I watched a guy come in his pants.

[1311] I watched the guy come in his pants Frank Santos told him to come in his pants He's like oh you're not going to be able to hold Are you going to come?

[1312] Oh And the guy goes Oh the guy came in his fucking pants He was embarrassed It wasn't an act He wasn't an actor He wasn't There's no way an actor could be that good I mean it was This it was the look of confusion On his face When Frank cleared him up And sent him out of it And went back to his friends You'd have to be a great actor To come To make yourself coming happening at him and dude you came in your fucking pants everybody was going nuts he went back to sit with his group he didn't believe what it happened he was like no i knew what i was doing i wouldn't do it was the fuck you did dude like they go into this trance i don't know how it works it doesn't work on me doesn't work on it was like an old magic trick where like that dude was a really i paid after i think that's part of what that kind of hypnotism is i mean there's different kinds of hypnotism there's hypnotism where you can sit down and someone can put you in a very relaxed state where you are cleared of all your distractions and cleared of all your connections to the world.

[1313] And they talk you through this.

[1314] They talk you into a mindset where you're open to suggestion and where you're open to objectivity.

[1315] That's a type of hypnotism.

[1316] And it's a legitimate type of hypnotism.

[1317] And it does get you to a certain state.

[1318] But you're conscious of what's going on the whole time.

[1319] He's not getting you to suck his dick.

[1320] He's not telling you there's an elephant in the room that's going to cut your head off.

[1321] You know, he's not freaking you out with bullshit and nonsense and trickery.

[1322] He's just kind of guiding your thought pattern.

[1323] But there's also a type of hypnosis that doesn't work on everybody, but it does work on dummies.

[1324] And that dummy hypnosis, if you're a guy like Frank Santos, you can get people to think they're having sex with Madonna in a stage.

[1325] On a stage in front of 300 strangers, you really can do it.

[1326] I've seen it.

[1327] I don't understand it, but I don't understand people that are allergic to peanuts either.

[1328] I don't think the human body is, it's not beautiful.

[1329] form.

[1330] There's some people that have a weird glitch.

[1331] It's like, you know, some cell phones, you can fucking hack into them, you know, with somebody else's cell phone.

[1332] But see, here's a thing.

[1333] So if Frank Santos can make a man in Boston blast in his pants from four seconds of mild hypnosis, think what the fucking CIA can do to you if they've been studying this shit for like 15 or 20 years.

[1334] You know the thing, the sacrifices they've made too.

[1335] In the, you know, name of progress when it comes to LSD.

[1336] They dosed a whole fucking village in France, including women and children.

[1337] They dosed their bread.

[1338] You know about that story?

[1339] Nope.

[1340] The Freedom of Information Act it was revealed, like, I don't know, shit, I want to say 2009.

[1341] But I don't remember when the exact date it was revealed.

[1342] But the CIA did a fucking LSD experiment in a small French town and dosed the entire town.

[1343] Here, I'll look it up.

[1344] CIA dosed French town.

[1345] Acid.

[1346] Yeah, dude, they didn't give a fuck.

[1347] Here, the CIA dosed an entire village with LSD.

[1348] Yep.

[1349] An incredible story.

[1350] Back in the 50s, an entire French village suddenly went mad.

[1351] It was not as previously thought due to an ergot, fungus contamination of the village baker's bread.

[1352] It says investigative journalist, H .P. Aberrelli, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[1353] Instead, it was part of a CIA secret mind control experiment with LSD.

[1354] In other words, the CIA put a French village on acid to study them.

[1355] Wow.

[1356] And by the way, they're responsible for the fucking unibonomer.

[1357] You ever watch that document?

[1358] Yeah, you told me about that.

[1359] Yeah.

[1360] Yeah, he was a part of the fucking LSD experiments in Harvard.

[1361] Gee, what a shocker.

[1362] Do you think there's a coincidence in that?

[1363] That one guy gets so crazy that he decides to make enough money as a mathematics professor to fund his attack on all the technology of the world.

[1364] And the way he's going to do this is send bombs through the mail at people that are creating things.

[1365] Well, see, that's the thing.

[1366] That's why you have to begin to ask yourself, which components of my belief system are things that I've arrived to naturally from my observation of nature and which parts of them are placed into me by a system designed to turn people into consumers.

[1367] And I think that more often or not, a greater percentage of your personality than you would like is not you at all.

[1368] It's a tapestry that's been cleverly woven by a system design to make people feel, totally normal spending the majority of their lives driving in a commute and working in a shit job and being tired all the time first of all let me just say that apparently this is this theory of the french town as also questioned some people don't agree with it some people don't think it's true well they were dosing fucking uh they were they docent soldiers they were dosing soldiers and they were dosing uh horrors were dropping it into their john's drinks that was a rolling stone article oh yeah yeah yeah it was operation what the fuck was it called I don't know.

[1369] Operation Midnight Climax.

[1370] That's what it's called.

[1371] The CIA ran a brothel in San Francisco and New York, and they dose the Johns because they couldn't find any willing participants in their LSD studies because, unfortunately, they gave people like Pepsi bottles full of shit and blew their fucking brains out.

[1372] You know, they weren't sure the dosage, you know, when they first started fucking around with LSD.

[1373] They wanted to know what would happen.

[1374] Yeah, we're going to do shots.

[1375] We're going to do whiskey, son.

[1376] Do a shot of whiskey and you're actually doing a shot of acid.

[1377] You know what McKenna just?

[1378] described molecularly.

[1379] He said LSD has the power of an ant that could disassemble the entire Statue of Liberty in 30 minutes.

[1380] Wow.

[1381] That's molecularly.

[1382] That's what it's like.

[1383] That's how strong acid is.

[1384] Oh, it's the best.

[1385] But imagine you're like getting it in a town and you don't know you're having it.

[1386] For a lot of people that don't know, that's the number one theory of the Salem witch trials.

[1387] The Salem witch trials has to do with the first thing they were saying about as previously thought it was an ergot fungus contamination of the village.

[1388] baker's bread.

[1389] Apparently what happens is when you have a crop of like wheat or whatever the fuck it is, any kind of grain, and it freezes if they have a frost and then it, when it thaws out, apparently it's susceptible to certain funguses.

[1390] Like it fucks up the plant and the plant gets contaminated sometimes by certain funguses.

[1391] And ergot, when it contaminated, you know, they've like done core samples of this point in time, you know, whenever, you know, the the 1600s, whatever the Salem, which trials were, and they found, like, these late frosts that they think could have attributed to ergot infection.

[1392] And then they found evidence of ergot.

[1393] So they're pretty sure that when all these people went mad and crazy and they started burning women, you know, it's just, they just went, they were whacked out on their bread, and they thought that someone was poisoning them.

[1394] They really did think it was witch clasp.

[1395] Sure.

[1396] Which makes much more sense than, you know, like, it was just a religious thing.

[1397] It was just, which is possible.

[1398] I mean, we've seen a horrible.

[1399] things done in the name of religion, but when there's a whole group of them and it's all in one area and all those other pieces are in place, there's a fucking psychedelic compound that makes you lose your marbles and it's in your bread.

[1400] Of course that's what happened.

[1401] I mean, it only makes sense.

[1402] Why is this one area think it's bewitched?

[1403] Because they were!

[1404] Right.

[1405] There was.

[1406] There was a fucking chemical bewitching.

[1407] You know, they just blamed it on the wrong people.

[1408] They didn't blame it on the bread.

[1409] Well, how would they know?

[1410] How would they know?

[1411] Yeah.

[1412] So these crazy assholes thought that these women were witches.

[1413] You know, they'd look at them all paranoid.

[1414] It's fucking bitch.

[1415] She's doing this to me. You know, really, I mean, he's seeing giant mice attacking him with, you know, invisible swords.

[1416] You know, he's seeing all kinds of crazy shit everywhere he goes.

[1417] It's really strange to think that books have been written about how to torture witches.

[1418] There's a book.

[1419] Have you ever heard of the Malius Malificarum?

[1420] Jesus, no. Look that up.

[1421] The hammer of...

[1422] What is it called?

[1423] It's called them...

[1424] I believe the Malius Malificaram.

[1425] It's called the Hammer of the Witches.

[1426] Look that shit up.

[1427] It's how to...

[1428] Milificeram?

[1429] Yeah, I think it's Malificarum.

[1430] Yeah, I think it's Malifical.

[1431] I'm probably butchering the name but if you put that in you should find it and if that doesn't work put in it dude fucking internet's amazing yeah I know spelled the shit out of it and it's still found it it's the way to spell correctly folks is the malius M -A -L -L -E -U -S is that an L -L -L -E -U -S and Malificarium Marifacarium Carum Melifacarum is M -A -L -L -E F -I -C -A -R -U -M and just get an approximation in that in Google and just finds it for you.

[1432] The Hammer of the Witches.

[1433] That's incredible.

[1434] It's a book that was written during the Inquisition.

[1435] Oh my God, it's available on Amazon.

[1436] God, I love the internet.

[1437] I'm going to order that.

[1438] Watch this.

[1439] Watch this.

[1440] While we're doing the podcast, boom, bitches.

[1441] Ordered that shit, son.

[1442] 1996.

[1443] Come on.

[1444] How dope is that?

[1445] I just bought an awesome book.

[1446] After the witch trials, though, they still were eating the same bread, though.

[1447] wouldn't they still be crazy, you know, like, if that was true about the grain?

[1448] No, because it didn't last for very long.

[1449] It's only for one season.

[1450] So, you know, for one season or whatever season that this happens, where they get this grain and this grain is infected with the ergot, that's the season where everyone's jacked and fucked up.

[1451] Didn't, right, you know.

[1452] But McKinnis theory was, I think, more that it wasn't that these people were freaking out.

[1453] This is a McKinness theory.

[1454] Oh, I know.

[1455] This is a mainstream, like, I guess it was archaeologists?

[1456] Oh, no. Who looks that, is that called archaeology when you only go back a couple hundred years?

[1457] History, historians?

[1458] Yeah, I think that would be archie, that could be archaeologists.

[1459] I don't know.

[1460] I don't know.

[1461] I think there's a difference between historians and archaeologists.

[1462] I'd love to know.

[1463] But I've read McKenna talking about how getting rid of the witches was part of the transformation from the, into male -dominated culture.

[1464] And that that was the burning of the witches was a representation of the shift from, What is he?

[1465] He has a great name for it.

[1466] Dominator culture or something.

[1467] What does he call it?

[1468] Yeah, the shift from the, he was from a maternal society.

[1469] Yeah, maternal, matriarchal mushroom society to a patriarchy that where the way that you taught people is through like the God of that society teaches people by beating the shit out of them and punishing them forever.

[1470] It's not the way that a mother is supposed to be.

[1471] And so the witch trials were the shift from one, form of nature -based religion and do a new form of religion where people started worshipping the invisible like free homophobic that could be possible but the other finding i think was after it was like i think it was even after mckenna was dead mckenna i believe died in 2001 i think this was i think they discovered this a little later so it's kind of clear evidence i think it's just combinations because there were yeah it could be that too there were women back then who were practicing.

[1472] Right.

[1473] It could be they would have never killed the witches if it was like a balanced society.

[1474] They would have just going, oh, you're a fucking witch.

[1475] Oh, no, you're not.

[1476] Oh, my God.

[1477] I was on acid or something.

[1478] You know, they wouldn't like get together with pitchforks and fucking torches.

[1479] Maybe it could be they were already pissed off at chicks.

[1480] And then when they got on the acid or the ergot rather, they'd be like, well, this is a fucking, this is a perfect time to kill all these bitches.

[1481] Yeah.

[1482] You know, it could be that.

[1483] This is the last straw.

[1484] Well, you know, it's a weird thing, man. When, you know, the whole idea of happiness and pleasure is a lot of it revolves around people wanting to be around you and a lot of it revolves around the opposite sex wanting to be around you and for most of us you know look the reality is most of us are not that attractive you know this is you know this not that many people that are like really attracted to you and for a lot of people their life is a constant series of rejections and especially from women guys they're dumpy they have no self -esteem and they get a couple drinks in them and you think maybe I could fucking get some of that ass they like say something awful knowing you know like really it's just like a lack of confidence like people would say that they're a dickhead but really a lot of it is like a preemptive attack because you think eventually this person's going to destroy your soul because that's your experience with relationships that's your experience with interacting with women every time you've attempted to interact with women they've let you know that you're repulsive ew with you Ew.

[1485] B. No, thank you.

[1486] Ew.

[1487] Get away.

[1488] And that programming just enters into this guy's definition of what a woman is, of what, you know, who you are.

[1489] You're the person who brings the bad feelings.

[1490] You're the person who brings this horrible, horrible feeling.

[1491] Right, right, right.

[1492] So they get a few drinks in them.

[1493] Like some Pavlovian response to women where you're pissed and you're fucking, all of a sudden you're, like, using tricks from the game to try to say shitty things to girls to, like, dis, oh, the.

[1494] discombobulate them and somehow like trick them into fucking you instead of just getting them to have sex with you because they like you because you're a good person you're fucking cool well i don't think people can realize that and part of the reason why people can't realize that is because people are selfish you know i have a friend and i who remain nameless but we had a conversation where he was uh he was getting dumped and he was super upset about it and he didn't know how to deal with it and he was asking me for advice and i said do you love this girl and he said yes and i said well if you love her you should want her to be happy and if her being happy and if her being means her being with another man or another person, you should respect that and you should love her still.

[1495] I go, this is just a human being and people break up and I don't hate everyone I used to date.

[1496] In fact, with time, I love all of them, even the ones that I didn't get along with, man. When I look back on every single girl that I ever dated, I swear to God, I only will allow the positive thing.

[1497] I have some negative stories that are really funny and then I tell them.

[1498] But in my mind, when I'm thinking about that person, I only think about them when I love them.

[1499] about them.

[1500] No matter what went wrong, you know, no matter, you know, what horrible thing was said, you know, that made the whole thing fall apart, I refuse to define them by that and I instead define them by their potential by what they meant to me when they were at their best.

[1501] But it's really fucking hard to teach people that, man. It's really hard to over and over again realize when you fall face first into the fucking dirt that you're thinking is incorrect and that it's not empowering and you're not helping yourself or anyone else.

[1502] And in fact, you're devaluing yourself into this person's eyes because you become desperate and you have no personal sovereignty.

[1503] A man that can't be without a woman, when a woman doesn't want to be with a man, is a repulsive thing.

[1504] You know, we've all seen it, man. It was an episode of Fear Factor we had this week where there was this poor guy and his wife didn't want to have nothing to do with him anymore.

[1505] They divorced and she was fucking, you know, just living her life and they were still connected because they had a kid together and she would just mock him openly and publicly.

[1506] and she had no desire to fuck him again.

[1507] She was just ready to make fun of him.

[1508] And it hurts.

[1509] It hurts watching it, man. It hurts your fucking soul.

[1510] It cuts into you.

[1511] You see it and you go, this poor fuck, he doesn't even know.

[1512] He's just trapped in this horrible pattern.

[1513] And this person has become a drug dispenser, a negative downer drug.

[1514] This person gives them a depressing drug every time they see them.

[1515] That's crazy.

[1516] It's amazing.

[1517] Yeah, the bonds of Maya, that's one name for it.

[1518] Or you get entangled in the illusory aspect of the universe and you don't even realize it and then you're just fucking in pain but you're the reason you're in pain it's so sad but it's real and it's like it's a it's a plague and and but it's also kind of cool man those kinds of prisons thought prisons are the best prisons to get into because you have the key you so hard to get out of it though but one of the things is you can't be selfish because if you are selfish you always want that person to be with you you know and this is what i was saying to my friend i was like dude she does not want to be with you you'll have to accept that.

[1519] You have to accept that this is a human being and if you love this human being you should want this human being to be happy.

[1520] Absolutely.

[1521] And your definition of love is this only love this human being if this human being provides you with the sex drug, provides you with the sex chemical.

[1522] You can't just accept the fact that she wants the sex drug from someone different.

[1523] Her genes are compelled to fuck someone different than you.

[1524] And whether it's become because you have personality shortcomings or physical shortcomings, it's not her responsibility.

[1525] Her responsibility is to go towards what she enjoys and what she's attracted to.

[1526] But we are so selfish that no one ever thinks that way.

[1527] Well, but also, man, aside from like letting someone have a happy life and not trying to manipulate or control them into being stuck with you, the other thing is, it's so much better for you to be with someone who really likes you.

[1528] Fuck, yeah.

[1529] You know?

[1530] My God, the guys who want to, like, change a chick.

[1531] You know, you grow to love me. My God, dude.

[1532] Some savage is going to come along and fuck her in a laundromat, okay?

[1533] that's going to happen you can't everyone needs to be extremely attracted to each other everyone needs to be extremely whether it's just attracted to each other's minds or each other's personality whether it's physical whatever it is there has to be a real because if there's not if you don't have that one of two things is happening either you're not putting that out enough you're not a dynamic enough human both with your consciousness or with your objectivity or with your love or with your affection or with your generosity, you're not putting out enough.

[1534] Not working.

[1535] And if you're not putting that out enough, people don't want to give it back to you.

[1536] So this beautiful, attractive, healthy, vibrant, generous, loving person won't be attracted to you because you don't want to enhance them.

[1537] You want to draw and take away from them.

[1538] And so you rely on wounded animals.

[1539] And it's just one more wounded animal after another wounded animal.

[1540] And that's all you ever get, because it's all you're attracting.

[1541] You're attracting wounded animals because those are the only ones that are still.

[1542] stupid enough to fucking fall into your web yeah that's true man and also a lot of those systems the pickup systems are designed to trap wounded animals sure exactly yeah so it's like really you just pray in the vulnerable and it's only because the the value of sexuality it's such a it's a value it's very important like that you need it like it will make you feel better you know it will it's your medicine sure you got to go you you know yeah but you know there there let's get it on like Marvin gay son I'm your medicine open up and let me me in.

[1543] It is a fucking drug, man. Darling, you're so great, I can't wait for you to operate.

[1544] Boom.

[1545] Boom.

[1546] Get up.

[1547] Let's make love tonight.

[1548] Wake up, wake up.

[1549] Cause you do it right.

[1550] The guy was a bad motherfucker, dude.

[1551] He's such a bad motherfucker.

[1552] His dad shot him.

[1553] His dad couldn't deal with the son, just massively eclipsing him in every possible way as a human.

[1554] His dad was just a regular guy.

[1555] Who's Marvin Gay?

[1556] Marvin Gay's a motherfucker dick sling and superstar with a voice that came from angels okay and who are you oh you're the guy who fucked his mom get in line bitch you're just a normal dude you ain't nothing special compared to Marvin motherfucking gay you're a regular guy and you made a son that's a bad motherfucker you made a song that his songs they play them without the words in elevators and people sing along to the muzac his fucking songs are so good that when you're in an elevator and a musak version of let's get it on comes on.

[1557] You can hear him saying, oh, let's get it a whole.

[1558] You can hear it.

[1559] You can hear it.

[1560] He's a bad motherfucker, dude.

[1561] He imprinted the consciousness.

[1562] And this guy couldn't deal with it, so he shot his own son.

[1563] Woo!

[1564] That sucks.

[1565] He didn't want to play the game, so he picked up the board and he threw it away.

[1566] Yeah, well.

[1567] Couldn't win.

[1568] Couldn't win the game.

[1569] Unplugged it.

[1570] He unplugged the fucking Xbox.

[1571] Shooting your own kid.

[1572] Oh, my God.

[1573] I don't care what he did.

[1574] You fuck.

[1575] Someone fucked up.

[1576] It has to be you, too.

[1577] You know, unless your kid is a murderer, unless your kid's coming at you with a fucking sword and trying to, you know, he's on PCP.

[1578] Yeah, okay, I get it.

[1579] You got to do what you got to do.

[1580] He and he shouldn't, you know, he's a threat to the problem.

[1581] But killing your own kid makes you automatically a fucking idiot, right?

[1582] Oh, my God.

[1583] Yeah, something happened all right.

[1584] Which is why it's fucking weird, the story of Jesus.

[1585] It's like you're going to send your fucking kid down to a planet, a savage fucking ape.

[1586] But you don't understand.

[1587] He died for our sins.

[1588] Oh.

[1589] Did you know that?

[1590] Oh, no. I didn't.

[1591] Somehow or another we could still sin.

[1592] But we get forgiven if we tell him.

[1593] him.

[1594] If we embrace him, then you get forgiven.

[1595] Yeah.

[1596] You're allowed to still sin.

[1597] You can totally fuck up.

[1598] But at the end, you have to really realize and really embrace Jesus as your God.

[1599] Joe, what are you saying?

[1600] But once you do that, once you do it, it's a crazy like escape clause.

[1601] It's like, you know, some corporations don't have to pay any taxes at all.

[1602] And they can just fuck everybody over and make trillions and trillions of dollars.

[1603] And what kind of loophole is that?

[1604] That's ridiculous.

[1605] Well, they just have to pay the right politicians.

[1606] And this loophole, the death loophole is you can just fucking rape and pillage your whole life.

[1607] But if you find Christianity at the time, the end, like General Butt Naked from Liberia.

[1608] You know that story?

[1609] Shane Smith, he had us on the podcast.

[1610] Guys are directly responsible for the death of thousands of people.

[1611] I know about General Butt Naked.

[1612] He killed babies and ate their hearts.

[1613] Yep.

[1614] Eight their still beating hearts.

[1615] Okay.

[1616] And he's a Christian.

[1617] And because he's a Christian, they didn't even prosecute him.

[1618] Praise God.

[1619] How amazing is that.

[1620] Praise God.

[1621] Praise God.

[1622] God's so beautiful.

[1623] God is going to put him in heaven, but not like a regular person who's born in the jungle of Brazil and is good his whole life and only does good for his tribe and his family and you know and has great respect for the earth sure that guy's going straight to hell oh the earth that cunt face respect for the earth i don't respect the earth indigenous douchebag is going right to the fucking oven dude dude do you know about dispensations do you know what dispensate i believe they're called dispensations do you know about this no what is it and i may be saying the word wrong but it used to be able to buy from the catholic church for money yes bishops used to be able to do that.

[1624] Yeah, you could buy, like, you could save yourself.

[1625] You could buy, like, no matter what you're going to heaven.

[1626] Like, I gave you this much money.

[1627] Yeah.

[1628] So I'm set.

[1629] Like, here's like, you know, whatever, 200 ,000 bucks.

[1630] I'm cool, right?

[1631] No matter what I do for the rest of my life, I'm still going to heaven.

[1632] Like, yeah, you're fine.

[1633] You gave enough money now.

[1634] You're fine.

[1635] That's hilarious.

[1636] That's amazing.

[1637] That's brilliant.

[1638] Like, the Catholic Church, you know how funny that is to, like, come up with a trick like that?

[1639] When you start realizing, like, wait a minute, I can just write down on paper that people are going to an imaginary place forever.

[1640] and they'll give me thousands and thousands of dollars in gold and diamonds that's incredible it's kind of like talking seriously about like the tooth fairy like if we were having a conversation about the tooth fairy it's like a crazy thing is people were willing to die for that tooth fairy yeah they're willing to kill you for this degrading that tooth fairy and to ruin their lives they're willing to they're willing to um not use birth control they're willing to not wear condoms and fucking bring kids into the world that they didn't even want to have for that tooth fairy they're willing to do a lot of crazy shit for that tooth fairy and there's a wide spectrum of crazy and it varies from town to town church cult to church cult and i i think that there's like a you know there's something that's an actual you know i think there really is a i don't know what you call it but i do think there's like a super consciousness you can tune into that will give you some direction and the directions usually don't be an asshole well that's why i'm saying that the morality of the universe would tell you that you're not allowed to spray pepper spray in the face of kneeling children.

[1641] Oh, yes.

[1642] The morality of the universe would say these are peaceful people.

[1643] You have no right to do anything to harm them.

[1644] They have a legitimate griping concern.

[1645] Whether they're handling it the correct way is debatable, but you know, the morality of the universe, the true knowledge of what is right and wrong.

[1646] It's like instinctively, instantly you realize that's an evil task.

[1647] And if that was your little girl, that's your 18 -year -old girl, idealistic first day and, you know, first year in college, and this asshole is spraying her in the face with pepper spray, you'd want to beat his brain flat He deserves it You'd want to beat him to death If that was, if I saw that guy spray My baby in the face I would not be able to help myself If there was cars in the way If there was cops in the way I would have tried physically to get my hands on him Sure I would have to I wouldn't be able to stop myself It would be like a murderous Animal -like rampage You would feel it from the bottom of your DNA That you would have to stop this person from doing that.

[1648] Meanwhile, this guy's doing it because somebody wrote some shit down on a piece of paper.

[1649] Yep.

[1650] That's a detachment, man. That's a detachment from the things that you do and the impact those things have.

[1651] And you could say, follow by the word of the law, and you could say, well, if those fucking hippies weren't there, they wouldn't have a problem.

[1652] And while all these things are correct, that's not the real issue.

[1653] The real issue is there's a detachment from the things we do and the effect those things have.

[1654] And that attachment, that detachment is due to a lack of sensitivity, which I I think can be attributed to several things.

[1655] And a lot of it is contributed to awareness and our focus on awareness, whether it's through yoga, whether it's through meditation, whether it's through isolation tanks, whether it's through psychedelics, whether it's through long walks where you sit by yourself alone in the park and you do an audit of your day and an audit of your true, honest thoughts and try to be fucking real with yourself, man, and don't bullshit yourself so you can sleep better at night and think that you're doing the right thing every time.

[1656] And all you would have to do is apply those ideas to life.

[1657] And everyone would be fine.

[1658] Everyone would be fine.

[1659] Could no one would ever start on just wars?

[1660] They would realize you can profit anyway.

[1661] There's always going to be assholes out there.

[1662] You can profit on fucking tanks and you can profit on jets.

[1663] We need those.

[1664] Yeah, we do need those.

[1665] But we don't need that many.

[1666] And we don't need them everywhere.

[1667] We don't need a military presence in over 100 different fucking countries.

[1668] We've gotten completely out of hand.

[1669] Those people making jets and making bombs and making guns, I'm 100 % pro -gun.

[1670] I have guns, and I think that you should be allowed to have guns.

[1671] And I'm pro -hunting, and I'm pro -trapping.

[1672] I'm pro all that shit, man. I believe in the Second Amendment, fully, strongly support your right.

[1673] Yeah, me too.

[1674] But I think, I just think we're at a stage right now where people are starting to realize that the stuff that's written down on paper is not necessarily serving the human beings that it's supposed to represent.

[1675] That's right.

[1676] And we just, because it's written down on paper, and because a bunch of people say it's written down on paper, we are supposed to abide by it.

[1677] We're supposed to deal with it.

[1678] We're supposed to allow that cop to spray the chemical in the kid's face and not get beaten up and immediately thrown in jail like you should be, like your instincts would be, if any civilian did it.

[1679] And that's our real issue.

[1680] Our real issue is we're operating under an archaic society.

[1681] We're using the wrong map.

[1682] Yes.

[1683] We're using an old, shitty map that worked at a different kind of terrain.

[1684] The terrain has changed now.

[1685] We need some new maps.

[1686] People have got to come up with new maps.

[1687] You don't just get the fucking luxury of using an ancient withered old map.

[1688] Whatever the fuck the map is, whether the map is your Bible or whether the map is the current version of the Constitution with all the amendments or whether the map, whatever it is, it's time to start making new maps based on the fact that we're now all connected.

[1689] And when you see things like this new bill that's passed, it turns America into a battleground and empowers the military to come in and arrest civilians who are being disorderly.

[1690] arrest anyone who is a threat and detain them, anyone who they deem a threat.

[1691] That is all the evidence that you need to know that it's over.

[1692] That is the monsters clawing at the fucking, at the head, the gravestone as it pulls them underground.

[1693] Yep.

[1694] As the earth sucks them into its core, the monsters are clawing as they're dragged down.

[1695] They are trying as hard as possible to gain ground.

[1696] And one way they're going to do it is completely violate the Bill of Rights.

[1697] One way they're going to do it is to make the Constitution invalid and that's what they're doing and they're doing it under the guise of patriotism and protection and you're like protection from what you fucks but see that's why that's why they're what what has to happen is people need to start um continuing to take like the action they're taking with occupy wall street but we need a fucking super genius or a group of super geniuses or a collective of people to come up with a new map for how this shit should be working you know what i'm starting to think what this is what i'm starting to think what this is what i'm starting to think is going to happen.

[1698] I used to think that there's going to be some sort of a violent upheaval, there's going to be real problems.

[1699] I think that there's going to be people on the Occupy side that are far too intelligent to be ignored and that eventually they're going to figure out some vulnerabilities to the system and then they're going to have some power.

[1700] And once they have some power, then people are going to talk and then they're going to have to work something out and change some laws and change some rules.

[1701] Because until there's some sort of a threat from the other side, you know, and it doesn't have to be a violent threat.

[1702] It could simply be some fucking computer geniuses who know how to rework everything and how to shut down the fucking internet who know to make things invalid and unfunctional.

[1703] It could be people who know how to manipulate money through the internet.

[1704] Who the fuck knows?

[1705] I mean, it's going to be deemed a terrorist act, whatever it is.

[1706] You know, anything, I mean, that's really what by the Patriot Act, anything you're doing to attack the government now is like a terrorist act, right?

[1707] I bet me even suggesting that someone may try to do this makes you under suspicion.

[1708] You extrapolating and looking at history and you look in a human behavior and you're looking at this situation knowing that it's going to escalate what could happen i think someone's going to figure out a way to have some power over the occupiers but saying that by saying that it's almost like i'm cheerleading like i can become an enemy by saying that which is amazing you've i'd say you're a little this is orwell this is orwellian it really is i mean it's it's amazing that life is now more fucked up than fix or fucking people come out you know like the people who like are looking under their car because they've got a flat tire and they're like hey what's that fucking box there and they pull the box out from under their car and it's some kind of magnetic bug that some people stuck on their car in the middle of the night tracking and then they come and get it then they come and collect it you know like that guy who popped it's so old school how about this carrier IQ shit Brian you just sent me an update on this carrier IQ what was the update again what they say that the FBI will not release any records on this carrier IQ shit yeah they won't comment on it I mean like the the the guys that from the company are they're, you know, talking, saying that they've never given their information to the FBI.

[1709] Right, but the FBI will not comment whatsoever, and they refuse Freedom of Information Act requests.

[1710] Yeah, right, because it's an ongoing investigation, that's what they're saying.

[1711] They don't have, they have fucking power.

[1712] There's so much power.

[1713] It's so ridiculous.

[1714] Carry your idea.

[1715] And, you know, the best way to abuse power is to say that we're doing it for your own good.

[1716] We're doing it for your own good.

[1717] You trust us.

[1718] Listen, we need this power in order to get the bad people.

[1719] We know you're a good person.

[1720] Trust us.

[1721] We just need this little provision.

[1722] We got to do it.

[1723] We got to do it.

[1724] What's a terrorist exactly?

[1725] Oh, some guy who sells 20 joints, Newt Gengrich?

[1726] Yeah.

[1727] Is it 200 joints?

[1728] Oh, 200 doses.

[1729] He's a terrorist and he should be put to death.

[1730] Yeah, someone who grows plants.

[1731] These are the fucks that want to run our world, man. Really?

[1732] That's why we need that Ron Paul guy, even though he doesn't believe in evolution.

[1733] I've heard some, the problem with, I mean, I talked about this on the lavender hour about Ron Paul, and we got some people writing in that, like, shit that I didn't investigate fully.

[1734] I like, I said I like, I said, I like, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, I said, something about how he would get rid of the highway systems or something like he doesn't want to support like um he must go back to buggies no it's not bad you it's back to buggy horse riding he wants to go back to no it's some kind of thing there was a few things that were um a little uh that I didn't know that because I really love the guy what are the uh it was something to be more that's the problem I meant to go and investigate so you got upset at something that you don't remember no I remember they said Ron Paul would get somehow get rid of the interstate system okay Ron Paul interstate system i couldn't find it you couldn't i don't i don't think so just and then also the evolution thing came interstate commerce clause is that it i don't i don't know that's something different i think but i love him right now i still like him so i don't know i'm sure there's some weird shit about him i guess if he doesn't believe in evolution that is fucked up man that's maybe you've had a religious experience maybe ate some bad bread one day trip the fuck out i love people he's got an insight.

[1735] Dude, people who believe the earth is 5 ,000 years older, some of the funniest fucking people out there.

[1736] There's a big move for Ron Paul right now, man. He's moving.

[1737] With this Occupy Wall Street thing, Ron Paul is fucking exploding.

[1738] Ron Paul is neck and neck with Newt Gingrich right now in the Iowa poll.

[1739] That is unprecedented.

[1740] People, they're not expecting this.

[1741] All these other guys are falling apart.

[1742] That's the crazy thing about these dummy Republicans.

[1743] All of them slowly but surely are showing that they're morons.

[1744] First, it was Herman Kane.

[1745] He's fucked everyone and then it's Rick Perry who can't remember anything and then it's you know it's fucking Mitt Romney who's got way too much money and Rick Perry's shit fucking internet video about like I can't celebrate Christmas but yeah but you know we we know the gays want to get married yeah we can put gays in the military gaze in the military it's a celebrate Christmas meanwhile he's wearing the same jacket from Brokeback Mountain he's wearing the same jacket that Heath Ledger wore in Brokeback Mountain you almost wonder if his stylist has a sense of humor Yeah.

[1746] You know?

[1747] I mean, how brilliant would that be?

[1748] If they're like, well, we've got to make you look like a good old boy.

[1749] I mean, you're just like George Bush.

[1750] Again, you're reincarnated.

[1751] A lot of people love George Bush.

[1752] He was a good man. He was a good president.

[1753] We want to get you dressing like a rancher.

[1754] That's right.

[1755] Okay.

[1756] We don't dress him like a rancher.

[1757] Okay.

[1758] A rancher.

[1759] What does a rancher dress like?

[1760] Well, you know, you know, a rancher just like, you know, American, strong.

[1761] Okay, yeah, like Keith Ledger.

[1762] That's hilarious.

[1763] So they give him the fucking same jacket.

[1764] I mean, come on, man. What are the odds?

[1765] Who the fuck has a tan jacket with a brown, a dark brown collar?

[1766] Get the fuck out of here, bitch.

[1767] It feels like somebody's winking at you, doesn't it?

[1768] Somebody's winking at you.

[1769] Click, click.

[1770] Yeah, that's what it feels like.

[1771] Someone behind the scenes that's a 99 %er and they don't like it.

[1772] They don't like it.

[1773] It's a whistleblower.

[1774] Yeah, man. There's definitely like little clues out there.

[1775] He's desperado.

[1776] And what it is now, it's like one of those shows where it's about to get canceled.

[1777] So they bring in a black character.

[1778] You know, we need a nutty neighbor.

[1779] he's a rapper, you know, or, you know, whatever.

[1780] They're just panicking right now.

[1781] This is a death spiral.

[1782] But they're all, like, all of them seem like they should be on Jerry Springer.

[1783] They don't seem like they should be running for president.

[1784] They seem like just freaks and clownish.

[1785] Guilty of ethics violations.

[1786] And, you know, he was accused of over 40 different ethics violations.

[1787] Serves divorce papers to his wife dying of cancer.

[1788] Yeah, there's just so much that I don't like about him.

[1789] And one time, this is, but by the way, this is the one thing that really sticks in my mind.

[1790] Think about this, Newt, because this really sticks in my mind.

[1791] as to who you really are.

[1792] I bet he listens.

[1793] There was a kid in one of those MTV shows that came up to him and said, boxers are briefs.

[1794] And instead of having any sort of a sense of humor, he's like, that is a stupid question.

[1795] And I'm not going to answer your stupid question.

[1796] Like the way he said it's like demeaning to the kid, like an authoritative figure.

[1797] The kid should have said, bitch and just cracked him right in the face like you would in the jungle.

[1798] You old rotten fucking tomato.

[1799] You old rotten tomato sitting on a fucking window sill.

[1800] Yeah.

[1801] Rotting in the sun.

[1802] son.

[1803] Who are you getting fresh with stupid?

[1804] That's a stupid question.

[1805] Yeah, we're joking around.

[1806] This is a TV show.

[1807] This is this MTV dummy.

[1808] You know, what are you an asshole?

[1809] You know, a guy comes up to you.

[1810] He's asking you questions about all kinds of legitimate shit.

[1811] And he said, sir, one question.

[1812] Boxers are briefs.

[1813] And you get angry at him.

[1814] You get angry at him because he threw that in there.

[1815] What kind of a nice guy are you?

[1816] You're agreeing to do an interview, but you don't like the underwear question.

[1817] That's frivolous in this time of seriousness.

[1818] Fuck you.

[1819] Fuck you.

[1820] Fuck you, you creepy dude.

[1821] you old withered turd you old creepy dude with your last chance it to be king it ain't gonna work dude you're getting exposed and you're exposed now but they're gonna hack away at you slowly but surely hack away at all the different times that you've used your influence to make money hack it away at all the different times you force things through that other people weren't comfortable oh yeah they've got this is the thing about Obama man that i think about Obama whether or not you like him or not I think that guy's a pretty uh pretty dangerous vicious guy and I think he uses like a lot of tricks that...

[1822] The fact that he's not vetoing this act.

[1823] This act would put him at odds with Congress, put him at odds with the Senate, and he's not going to veto it.

[1824] I can't believe he's not fucking vetoing it.

[1825] It's amazing, and he said he would veto it.

[1826] He's not going to veto it.

[1827] It's not going to veto it.

[1828] It's amazing.

[1829] You think he's going to go down?

[1830] Yes, I do.

[1831] I got a piss.

[1832] Yeah, they said he's going to sign it.

[1833] Let's just wrap this bitch up.

[1834] I'll send this thing.

[1835] It's fucking three hours long.

[1836] All right.

[1837] Thanks, everybody.

[1838] Thanks for tuning in.

[1839] Thank you to the fleshlight for...

[1840] Thank you, Flashlight.

[1841] Thank you, Flashlight.

[1842] Thank you, Flashlight for so many wonderful memories.

[1843] Thank you for being so awesome.

[1844] Thank you for every time I've gone like this inside of your body.

[1845] Can I talk about a show I'm doing?

[1846] Sure, yeah, please do.

[1847] I'm going to be at Carolines in New York City tomorrow, Friday, and Saturday.

[1848] I'm featuring for Natasha Legerros to come out.

[1849] Dude, Carolines is a shit.

[1850] That's a great club.

[1851] That's a fun place to be, man. Caroline's in New York City.

[1852] Can't get any better than that, dude.

[1853] Please come.

[1854] That's on Broadway.

[1855] Yeah, come.

[1856] Come, it's a hilarious show.

[1857] We are also, Duncan and I will be performing together on New Year's Eve at the Melrose Improv.

[1858] Halla at your boy.

[1859] Yes.

[1860] Me, Duncan, and Joey, motherfucking Diaz, bitches.

[1861] P .S. suck it, okay?

[1862] Suck it.

[1863] We don't know, I think there's only one show.

[1864] That's the right way to do it.

[1865] We might have two shows.

[1866] In which case, the 8 o 'clock people don't get to celebrate the mystical changing of the guard.

[1867] That's right.

[1868] We'll fake it.

[1869] We'll do a count down.

[1870] That way, you'll celebrate it twice.

[1871] Right?

[1872] Word.

[1873] Also, we're at the Chicago Theater, January 27th.

[1874] and it is almost sold out.

[1875] If it sells out, apparently they're going to open up some other section that's like this upper high balcony.

[1876] But the tickets you want are probably the ones that are, well, actually, it's fucking old badass theater when it's tiered theaters.

[1877] It'll be awesome if you have the top balcony.

[1878] But it's me and Duncan and Joey Diaz as well, or should I say Duncan, Joey Diaz and I because that's the correct way.

[1879] Thank you, Joe.

[1880] To be curious and letting people know that's why you say that.

[1881] That's why it's structured because I'm thinking of you first.

[1882] Yes.

[1883] And that's what people like.

[1884] Okay.

[1885] So learn from that all you dirty bitches all you fucked up evil selfish fucks who are not looking out for your fellow man look out for your fellow man look out for you and only hang around people who are 100 % looking out for you too this is possible this can be done okay i have proven it you can do the same thing you can manifest your own reality and make it so donkin god is love get some jizz into some holes guys let's end this with a chant can you give us a chant to end this with a positive let me say real quick that we're at oh yeah we got the ice house this week Friday and Saturday.

[1886] We're doing the Ice House, the annex in the Ice House.

[1887] It's a small room.

[1888] It's only 85 seats.

[1889] And there are star studded shows.

[1890] And it's who gives us the full line out.

[1891] Friday, we have Nick Thune, Doug Benson, John Reap, and Pablo Francisco.

[1892] Boom!

[1893] Saturday.

[1894] We have Joey Dia, Eliza, Eliza Schlesinger, Sam Tripley, Daryl, uh, right, right, and Skyler Stone.

[1895] Boom, boom, boom, boom!

[1896] These are crazy, huge shows.

[1897] And it's only like, what is it?

[1898] Fifteen bucks?

[1899] bucks icehouse comedy dot and the ice house is the shit it's a great club it's got a great vibe it's where we do most of the podcast from uh we're doing a lot of them from there lately this one we're doing from my my office but most of them we do at the ice house because it's such a cool group of people that work there and it's a good vibe and the club has been around for like over 50 years right isn't it like 50 year yeah 50 year anniversary this year crazy i mean it's it's it's got like real history like in the walls man it's like a real spot and the the The podcast there have been phenomenal.

[1900] And what we also do a podcast there this weekend, every show that we do there, we also do a show called the Ice House Chronicles.

[1901] And if you subscribe to the Death Squad on iTunes, you can get the Ice House Chronicles for free.

[1902] It's always for free.

[1903] And it's another good reason to subscribe to Death Squad because you've got a lot of other good stuff on there, like Sam Tripley's on there.

[1904] He's got the naughty show on there.

[1905] Tom Seguer and Christina Pizzisky, they have your mom's house.

[1906] Teab.

[1907] Yeah, Teab and The Hebe.

[1908] Yeah, Teab and the Hebe is, who is it, is Teab and his girlfriend, Daniel Stewart.

[1909] And then, you know, they're constantly doing new ones on there.

[1910] And there's, you know, it's just awesome, free entertainment.

[1911] Okay, so check that out.

[1912] Thank you to the Flashlight for sponsoring our podcast.

[1913] I already said, I already did that.

[1914] Thank you to Onit .com.

[1915] OnN -N -I -T, makers of AlphaBrain, New Mood, and Shroom Tech Sport.

[1916] And now Shroom Tech immune is a new Shroom Tech, which is.

[1917] based on mushrooms that enhance your immune system we're trying to keep you healthy we're trying to keep you healthy we're trying to keep you healthy we're trying to keep you healthy not for working out just for immunity there's one that's for working out that's uh that's the um the shroom tech sport and then the other one shroom tech immune is like supposed to help your chaga mushrooms and a bunch of different mushrooms that oh enhance your vitality and help your mood yeah yeah I got some I just cool I need that right now that's a new product bitches I want to try that again with all the on it dot com things I tell you this very simply these are all things that I am supporting because I believe in them.

[1918] Although I have a financial stake in it, I can guarantee you with 100 % certainty.

[1919] I would never, ever participate in anything that I didn't think was legit.

[1920] I've been using neutropics for a long time now.

[1921] I absolutely 100 % have had positive effects from them.

[1922] And there's science to back it.

[1923] You can look online and find all sorts of information on neutropics, and I encourage you to do so if you're interested in them.

[1924] If you feel like the products are too expensive, please go buy the ingredients in bulk, make it yourself, save some money.

[1925] I will be happy.

[1926] I swear to you.

[1927] If you want to buy ours, though, you can get them from onit .com, O -N -N -N -I -T.

[1928] And if you go to Joe Rogan.

[1929] And click on the link for AlphaBrain, it'll take you right there.

[1930] Entering the code name Rogan, get 10 % off.

[1931] And as always, there is a 100 % money -back guarantee.

[1932] If it doesn't work for you, if your body doesn't feel it for whatever reason, it's not worth it to you, 100 % money -back guarantee.

[1933] We want you happy.

[1934] We want you healthy.

[1935] We want you tuning in.

[1936] We love you.

[1937] We don't even know you.

[1938] do love you as long as you're the way that we want you to be we want you to be loving back don't be a cunt we love the truth inside of you we say we love you but if you're a cunt then we're not going to love that aspect of you all right so get it together bitches we're all connected get it we're all connected we're all connected and we'll see you soon bye we love you bye