The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett XX
[0] Did you know that the DariVosio now has its own channel exclusively on Samsung TV Plus?
[1] And I'm excited to say that we've partnered with Samsung TV to bring this to life, and the channel is available in the UK, the Netherlands, Germany and Austria.
[2] Samsung TV Plus is a free streaming service available to all owners of Samsung Smart TVs and Galaxy mobiles and tablets.
[3] And along with the Dyeravisio channel, you'll find hundreds of more channels with entertainment for everyone all for free on Samsung TV plus.
[4] So if you own a Samsung TV, tune in now and watch the Dyer of a Cio channel.
[5] right now.
[6] One of the things that definitely felt very original when I was reading about your philosophy is this idea of forgetting about the results because thinking about the result or the outcome of your performance can reduce the chances of success in that performance.
[7] That's very unusual because in teams, in competition and business, we think about the result, we think about closing the deal or, you know, and what that will mean and we kind of imagine ourselves in that moment of getting the medal around our neck or that business deal won.
[8] Why is that not a good idea?
[9] Well, if an event happens or something happens, the first thing it's going to happen to you, without you even knowing is you're going to have an unconscious, emotional reaction to it.
[10] And it's emotion.
[11] It's not, you're not thinking it through.
[12] It's just purely emotion.
[13] And that, that's going to be, you know, either it's sort of a fight, flight, freeze response, really.
[14] And but that emotional response will happen quicker than you know it before you can go in and get any logic or get any rationale into it.
[15] And of course, in any kind of situation like a, you know, what could be perceived as a threat state where you're putting yourself in some kind of threatening scenario, it'll damage my pride or, you know, what people, what happens to people, they start thinking, well, what happens if I win, what happens to have to lose, why I don't have looked ridiculous, I don't want to look ridiculous, I'm under threats.
[16] And that then becomes, you know, very easily to get emotionally hijacked by that.
[17] so then you're purely wrung on an emotion which is inconsistent it's illogical you know it's not a it's not a good way for you to be basing it's not a good place for you to be basing your behavior but if you understand that and you think okay well look i understand that it's normal that i'm going to put myself in a threatening scenario so if i worry about let my emotion take over and i worry about what happens if i succeed what happens if i fail what happens if this what happens if that then it's actually pointless exercise and if you can train slowly recognise and train your mind to go okay I know what's happening here this is just emotion I'm going to put it to one side now then let me separate this whatever I'm doing out into two things we can have a dream I want to win the Tour of France it's a dream my ability to win it or our ability or anybody else is to win it is I'm going to do my absolute best to try and win it other people are going to try and stop me and other people are going to try and do something then it's stuff beyond our control that can impact on that.
[18] So if you set your goal as I'm going to win, you're going to agitate non -stop because it actually is out of your control.
[19] Whereas if you set your dream and saying, this is what I'd really, really like to happen, I'll go all in, I'll do everything I can.
[20] I'm fully committed to that.
[21] But let me break it down into targets, which is, well, I could get to the ideal weight.
[22] I could do the proper training.
[23] I could do the, you know, follow a nutritional plan.
[24] that's going to give me the optimal energy and, you know, I can train my tactics.
[25] I can be really work hard to get a fantastic team around me, build good rapport, build confidence in my teammates, these are all things that you can do.
[26] And so if you say, okay, let's leave the dream over there for a while, but I'm going to go after the things I can do and you base your plan around the things that you can actually control and do, you'll be on fire, you'll be on fire, you'll be absolutely on fire.
[27] And the dream might happen and it might not.
[28] and you'll be absolutely delighted and best thing ever if it happened and if it doesn't then you might be absolutely devastated but you've got to leave it as a dream and you've got to understand that actually worrying about the consequence of an event is detrimental to the process and a performance and the chances of you achieving that event so you park that go after your targets and go right I'm going to process and outcome and we talk a lot about process not outcome and when you catch yourselves you know it's emotion in the end of course we do get hijacked and of course we do get fearful or you know a bit panicked and you've got to have a system whereby you can talk to yourself a little bit you can bring yourself background and focus on the now and the process of now rather than worrying about the future and then you can come back and concentrate on the process get back into now and you know some of the athletes would have a routine where they'd tie the salute undo and tie the shoelaces again or they do they'd have a little you know a little process that they'd tap into and they go into that and bring their mind back into the present and stop worrying about the future and of course the penalty kicks the best example yeah that's what i was thinking about rinalda stood there yeah i'm sure they they bag a hundred percent in training yeah exactly in the euro's final exactly you know and if you take the crowd out take a penalty those guys are so accurate and the you know the signal from the brain down into the muscle to contract in a certain way that happens and the accuracy and the repeatability of that is is absolutely massive put a crowd in there and what changes nothing changes physically it's all between your ears and so how can you train that you know and mental skills can be trained just as much as you know we all know that but we want to get fit and strong and you go to the gym and you know that you're going to overload your body and you give it time to adapt and it's adaptation it's going to make it a little bit stronger and it's the same with a mind you know you can train your mind and and i think that's what certainly working with steve was uh was an i don't know as well as i think probably the biggest item for most people is it gives you a once you realize you've got like an emotional brain and a logical brain and a you know a bit of a memory computer side going on then then it gives you insight into yourself and why you are behaving and feeling like you are and some of the assumptions you're making about other people then you got to start with yourself first if you can get that little bit of insight why do I feel how I'm feeling why do I respond like I do what triggers me what's my best self look like and what's my sort of you know not the best self like why why am a different what why sometimes am i behaving in this kind of you know this second or a shadow version of myself and why are someone someone's in my best self what's happening there why can't i just be my best self all the time surely that must be doable so take a bit of time to understand it and pick it and some people just maybe that haven't been educated i certainly wasn't until really i sort stopped and started to look at this stuff and then you realize to think wow A lot of my behaviour, a lot of my life was driven by emotion.
[29] It wasn't driven by the real me who could be calm and logical and think things through and quite, you know, I have a lot of passion and feelings and caring.
[30] And yet at times I could be something else, you know.
[31] And I think understanding that's fundamental, I think.
[32] I don't think there's any excuse for that.
[33] No, I agree.
[34] Both points sounded very similar, in fact, because on one hand you're saying, with your goals, only go after the things you can control, like really focus on those things.
[35] And in the same way, when we're talking about personal responsibility of self, you're saying you can't control other people.
[36] So, yeah, but the thing that, you know, maybe you do have control over in your life is your behaviour, how you act, how you conduct yourself, and then kind of leave the rest to...
[37] Well, I think you don't understand how other people are responding and how they're feeling.
[38] So you can accept that if somebody's, you know, somebody's in a very...
[39] Well, there's two things, really.
[40] I think first and foremost, ambition is a big thing not to forget, you know, what's your level...
[41] You can be incredibly ambitious.
[42] Why can't we be the best in a world at something?
[43] Why can't be the first to do something?
[44] What's stopping us doing something and nobody ever in the human race has ever done before?
[45] Nothing, as far as I can see.
[46] You know, so I think there's a, it's, you know, you've got to have that ambition and enthusiasm and the belief we can do whatever we want to do, you know, and really stretch that.
[47] And then I think the next bit, really, the target is more like the how to get there.
[48] It's more like the boring stuff to get there, you know.
[49] So it's like head and heart, really.
[50] And I think that if you understand yourself, then you should be able to put yourself in somebody else's shoes and if they're having a tough time or if somebody else is angry or there's something else going on with them, rather than just dive in and respond to the behavior you're seeing at face value, why not stop and think about a little bit?
[51] And is this person in trouble?
[52] What's causing this?
[53] Where are they coming from?
[54] What's going on?
[55] You know, try and understand it.
[56] And if they're just responding emotionally to something and you allow yourself to immediately respond emotionally back, it doesn't really get anywhere, you know, so you'd better hold back and wait and find out and try anyway.
[57] Not always easy, but sometimes try.
[58] No, no. I struggle with that.
[59] Yeah.
[60] I struggle with that, especially being in an environment where my time is so, feels so precious, right?
[61] It's always, there's so many things I could be doing and you're exactly the same.
[62] I know, I know people that work with you.
[63] I know you're a very, very busy person.
[64] So it's tough in the moment to stop and pause and to have patience when, the rest of my life is ran on like efficiency.
[65] You know what I mean?
[66] It's difficult.
[67] Yeah.
[68] I guess in my world, you know, I'm out to try and help people.
[69] And I do push people.
[70] And we've got high standards.
[71] You know, you do want to level commit.
[72] I don't like laziness, for example.
[73] I just can't, that would really irk.
[74] That gets me, you know.
[75] But then I have to manage it and think, okay, well, if they, that's what they want, there's no problem.
[76] This isn't the environment for them, you know.
[77] But in the main, I think understanding, challenges and setting standards and boundaries and working to all of that is important.
[78] Did you know that the Dariovoste now has its own channel exclusively on Samsung TV Plus?
[79] And I'm excited to say that we've partnered with Samsung TV to bring this to life and the channel is available in the UK, the Netherlands, Germany and Austria.
[80] Samsung TV Plus is a free streaming service available to all owners of Samsung Smart TVs and Galaxy mobiles and tablets, and along with the Dyer of a CO channel, you'll find hundreds of more channels with entertainment for everyone all for free on Samsung TV Plus.
[81] So if you own a Samsung TV, tune in now and watch the Dyer of a CEO channel right now.