#389 - Brian Redban

[0] The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night All day Hello friends, neighbors Hello Joe What's up fucker?

[1] What are you doing?

[2] We're doing it old school Just me and Brian today We're just sitting around and we decided to do a podcast Just like day one Day one The old school days And that's the disgusting sip of coffee That people complain about the most we're just talking about that man there's a lot of goddamn complaints in this world a lot of people are mad all the folks on godlike productions .com I'm so sorry I upset you I did not mean to you and although we disagree on things folks I think we could be civil I really do you think I'm an idiot because I don't believe what you believe I'm okay I'm fine with that but what I think ladies and gentlemen is that in looking at these subjects whether the chem trails or cunty behavior or there's a lot of different points of view on things but uh what i really liked about that mick west guy that we had on yesterday is he's not mean about it you know he doesn't he's not creating enemies he's creating tony hawk man he created tony hawk that's i mean that's awesome that was the coolest thing i right there i mean he had he owned part owned one of the successful companies and video games ever i mean yeah that's a great company well he's a bad motherfucker he's a and you know it's it kind of bums me out i think he's just an exceptional guy and it kind of bums me out that a lot of people thought he was a government chill and they got mad at me for having him on and he's got a point of view folks and that point of view may be right and you know there's parts of your point of view that may have merit but i think there's a lot of people out there that aren't willing to consider the possibility that parts of their point of view are a little wacky you know and when a guy like that comes along like he's got to be working for the government you know like i was saying about tower seven yeah yeah it looks like a control demolition he says it does too but i don't know shit about making a building i really don't i know jack shit i don't know a god damn thing and to pretend that you do if you know as much as i do about it to pretend like if i know for a fact that you don't have any more information than i do about making buildings and you start arguing about Tarot 7.

[3] I'll call bullshit because I know for me, if we have the same amount of knowledge, I don't know a fucking thing about how that fell.

[4] I have no idea.

[5] I would not know how you would control demolition one.

[6] If you told me that they could control demolition a building where they would blow it up to bring it down, I'd be like, that's not how they do it.

[7] I'd be like, if I didn't know that it existed, if you said, listen, I'm thinking about taking down this building, what I'm going to do is I'm going to set dynamite in it all throughout it and if I do it correctly, it's going to explode and it'll all collapse.

[8] I'd be like, what a stupid fucking way.

[9] Why don't you just chip away at it from the top to the bottom?

[10] That's what I would say.

[11] I would say, why the fuck are you doing that?

[12] What are those wrecking ball thing for?

[13] Don't you use those?

[14] Use that thing.

[15] Don't blow it up, but they blow them up all the time.

[16] They blow it up.

[17] It's like a standard thing.

[18] So what the fuck do I know?

[19] I look at it and it looks like a controlled demolition.

[20] But the reality is, and I have to, that head on I don't know shit about structural engineering like zero I know zero and people that do know it you know that are architects and it's not their specialty they can be wrong about stuff one thing I always wondered Joe's you always seem to always have a slight conspiracy with a lot of things yeah and it's you know over years a couple of things faded away like I you know first when you first heard the AIDS thing you're like age doesn't exist No, I never said that.

[21] I never said that.

[22] What I said is these people say, it doesn't exist.

[23] I never believed it.

[24] And I still don't believe it to this day.

[25] But you're diehard about it, is what I mean.

[26] Well, what I'm die hard about is the fact that I do think that there might be some merit to some of what the, not the AIDS deniers have said, but the people that are saying that when they're measuring AIDS in Africa, they're adding to this number of people that have contracted HIV and gotten AIDS.

[27] what I've been told is that a lot of those people actually didn't get measured for HIV.

[28] They just have AIDS.

[29] And so you're dealing with a host of different reasons why they could have gotten AIDS.

[30] It could be massive malnutrition.

[31] And it doesn't mean there's not people that are getting HIV and getting AIDS either.

[32] It's not like they're mutually exclusive.

[33] But it's like there's some weirdness probably with the numbers that they're linking into this sexually transmitted disease.

[34] So when this guy's talking about this disease, you know, like a Peter Dewsberg, It's a guy who doesn't believe that HIV causes AIDS.

[35] The real problem is there's so many people that do.

[36] And if there's a whole industry involved in medicine, I mean, it's not just a bunch of doctors that are comparing notes.

[37] There's a lot of money involved, and there's a lot of different universities that are teaching medicine, that are heavily invested in the future of medicine.

[38] It's constantly getting better.

[39] It's, like, pretty measurable.

[40] all the time.

[41] So the idea that something like this would slip between the cracks and they wouldn't realize that HIV doesn't really cause AIDS is like, I don't understand how that's even possible.

[42] And I'm too stupid when it comes to the business of medicine or even the science of medicine.

[43] I'm too ignorant to even engage in the conversation.

[44] But it doesn't make sense to me that that many people.

[45] Even if it was, like if it was some sort of a mistake that it had been made in the past, I feel like it would be impossible.

[46] for them to keep that quiet.

[47] But I don't know.

[48] You know, I don't know.

[49] The moon thing.

[50] The moon one is a big one.

[51] Yeah, that's a big one.

[52] Because I got really roped in by this Fox special.

[53] There was a Fox special called Conspiracy Theory.

[54] Did we go to the mood?

[55] And it was awesome.

[56] Fox, I guess, wasn't leaning as conservative back then or something like that.

[57] It wasn't like Fox Newsish.

[58] It was like Fox, you know, dramatic reality.

[59] TV show -ish and it was a great fucking special it really got me they had an astronaut saying that they could have faked going to the moon an astronaut?

[60] Yeah Brian O 'Leary yeah he said that if it was possible that if they didn't get it or if the footage got destroyed that they would fake it and I remember hearing that going what?

[61] And then you start looking at documentaries that support the idea that we didn't go to the moon.

[62] It's very compelling.

[63] There's a really good English one.

[64] I forget the name of it.

[65] They're very compelling.

[66] But when you go online and then start reading the arguments against all their arguments, it's pretty compelling that they're wrong about a lot of shit.

[67] Just a lot.

[68] They're wrong about so much.

[69] There's so many things that they say in the ones where they're trying to say that we didn't go to the moon.

[70] There's so many things that they say that don't make any sense.

[71] The things that make sense are some of the photographs um there's there's some images that look like really staged and not just uh look really staged but like the way they're lit is really odd but don't you think that would be something where there's so many people that would have to be involved for that to actually yeah you know one person on their deathbed would scream it and yeah yeah it would find it no it's true that's that's that's the major argument against it in fact the major argument against it is human nature that people wouldn't be able to keep a secret that long.

[72] You know, I've read that Bill Clinton quote which is a fantastic quote about the moon landing and it always freaks me out and it's such a conspiracy theorist wet dream of a post because, you know, Bill Clinton is fucking Bill Clinton.

[73] You know, he's a former president of the United States and he's writing a book about his time and his life and in this book he writes about the experience of talking to an old carpenter about the moon landings.

[74] I mean, it's a crazy quote because what he essentially says, I'll read it.

[75] I was really high when I wrote that.

[76] I was high as fuck thinking about blow jobs.

[77] I mean, shit.

[78] I'm going to write a book here.

[79] Fucking hate books.

[80] I don't read.

[81] What if that was like his writing partner just did that, threw that in there because he was a big conspiracy theorist guy and then Bill just actually never read that book?

[82] He just fucked him.

[83] I can't read.

[84] Come on, man. You know, I don't have time for reading.

[85] What, what do I like?

[86] I like head and cheeseburgers, okay?

[87] Why don't you give me books, son?

[88] Have you had, wait, are you allowed to eat burgers anymore?

[89] No, I don't need cheeseburgers.

[90] So you haven't even tried the pretzel burger from Wendy's?

[91] No, I'm not fucking with any of that.

[92] Oh, Jesus.

[93] It's like the baconator, but they add pretzel.

[94] It's great.

[95] A baconator with pretzel?

[96] Yeah, it's just a mushy mess of pretzels and cheese and burger.

[97] It's so good, dude.

[98] They're trying to kill you.

[99] Do you understand this?

[100] Oh, yeah.

[101] What they're trying to do?

[102] That's not good.

[103] That sounds terrible for you.

[104] Yeah.

[105] you don't care no no i don't i've had it once i'm just saying it's great i just had it though i have made a decision this year to clean up various aspects of my life and a big one being diet diet yeah just the the the constant eating of certain things that i know are not healthy and in uh cutting out gluten and it's such a fucking fatty thing that i hate even talking about it everyone's cutting out gluten it feels so so gross when you tell people you're not eating gluten it's like oh you bought into that it's like you immediately get roped into this this fad category and that's not what i'm saying at all i'm saying i don't think it's good for you i don't think it's a fad i think in in me eating gluten i was doing my body damage like in no uncertain terms yeah i mean it is kind of fatty to like yeah i'm pretty much gluten -free i feel that about dairy i feel that about dairy man Oh, dairy's not good for you.

[106] No, like, you always talk about that raw milk and shit.

[107] I'm like, I hate milk.

[108] I hate, I have zero calcium in my body.

[109] If I fall down, I'm like, Mr. Burns.

[110] Yeah, I think you're better off with nothing, with no milk.

[111] But if you're going to have milk, raw milk is not bad on occasion.

[112] I just think we take in a lot of dairy.

[113] And it is a weird thing for our bodies.

[114] But some people can process it without a problem.

[115] You know, some people have real issues with it.

[116] Maybe we're not supposed to fuck with cows Maybe the Indians are right Maybe But when you drink it I'm telling you man If you drink it raw You don't really have Nearly as many problems Digesting it Like a lot of people Who are lactose intolerant Or only lactose intolerant When it's homogenized Or pasteurized I shouldn't say a lot of people But certain people What have I counted?

[117] Have I done a census?

[118] No Just talking mad shit This is the This is the Bill Clinton quote Because it's so crazy This is right out of his book.

[119] He says, just a month before Apollo 11 astronauts, Buzz Aldrin, and Neil Armstrong, had left their colleague Michael Collins, aboard spaceship Columbia and walked on the moon, beating by five months President Kennedy's goal of putting a man on the moon before the decade was out.

[120] The old coppenter asked me if I really believed it happened.

[121] I said, sure.

[122] I saw it on television.

[123] He disagreed.

[124] He said that he didn't believe anything.

[125] He didn't believe it for a minute And that them television fellas Could make things look real That weren't Back then, I thought he was a crank During my eight years in Washington I saw some things on TV That made me wonder if he wasn't ahead of his time That's a kooky quote It is a kooky quote No matter how you slice it Has anyone asked him about that quote?

[126] We did We just did Oh, we just did Mr. President, please tweet you go.

[127] On the record, though, like that seems like such a powerful quote that somebody somewhere had to have filmed him.

[128] Like, hey, can I ask you one question about this quote?

[129] I don't think people want to fuck with the moon landings.

[130] My friend Todd McCormick has the best quote about it.

[131] He said it's a technological Jesus.

[132] He said, because if they really did pull it off and, you know, it really did actually fake going to the moon.

[133] Like, oh my God, what an incredible and horrific.

[134] embarrassment.

[135] And if they did go to the moon and you're talking about it and you're like, you know, pretending that they didn't, you're a crazy person.

[136] Like if they actually went to the moon, these guys really did risk their lives and go 250 ,000 miles and land on the moon, then come back for the first time ever that people have been actually in deep space and back and lived and touched and land on an object and came back from that object.

[137] First time ever.

[138] I mean, you would be such a douchebag.

[139] if you were saying that they didn't do it and they did do it.

[140] I 100 % think we went through the man. It's most likely that we did.

[141] Most likely.

[142] I still leave open the possibility that some of that was horseshit.

[143] Just because that was just how they rocked it back then.

[144] And there's also, there's the guy who was, Jesus Christ, what is his fucking name?

[145] There was the safety inspector, Thomas Ronald Barron.

[146] He was hired by Congress to do a detailed safety.

[147] analysis of NASA.

[148] He handed in this long report that said that NASA was in such disarray that they would never get a man in the space.

[149] He died on the train tracks, parked in a car with his family shortly thereafter.

[150] And the report went by -bye.

[151] And that's real.

[152] There's weird shit to the moon landings.

[153] Not like one weird thing, but a bunch of weird things.

[154] There's weird things to it.

[155] It's most likely that we definitely went, but it's also possible that there's some fuckery going on because they did a little fuckery back then with publicity photos.

[156] That Gemini 15 photo, there's one of them that shows Michael Collins floating in space, and they said he was on a spacewalk, but then it's the exact same photo just reversed of him in a training facility.

[157] It's a famous photo.

[158] Yeah, but it's a publicity photo.

[159] Exactly, a publicity photo.

[160] If I give you a photo, like, hey, you need Joe Rogan crazy publicity photo for his show, and I add a lens flare to your balls.

[161] They're going to be like, wait a second, this lens flare is not supposed to be on the balls.

[162] That's a good point.

[163] If it was a publicity photo, if it wasn't actually released as an actual factual photo of space, I think it kind of was.

[164] But that could also, that's not even indicative of the whole company being full of shit.

[165] It could be just one photographic editor that just thinks he's slick.

[166] And it's like, look, I just put this guy in space.

[167] You know, it doesn't mean that NASA's full of shit.

[168] It just, but when people see things like that, they go, oh, okay.

[169] I'm going to be suspicious to you now because you're not totally on the up and up.

[170] You know, there's certain aspects of the story that make you go, okay, well, there's some fuckery at some levels.

[171] And it's unfortunate that you can get that from a single picture that's been edited, but you can.

[172] You know, it raises the possibilities.

[173] So most likely, yeah, they went.

[174] Most likely they went.

[175] But I always leave in that one possible opening for a crazy, scenario where they fake the whole thing and got Stanley Cuberk behind it and spent billions of dollars of black budget money and filmed it and then told the astronauts, listen, bitch, no one's going to believe you.

[176] You're a national hero.

[177] You went to the moon, just deal with it.

[178] I mean, that to me is so compelling as well, because it almost would explain how crazy we are.

[179] It would almost explain the difference between the United States of the future that we saw in like the 1970s on television and what it really became as far as like space travel space travel just stopped it just stopped it's like we don't even do the shuttle really anymore i mean we we have to like borrow the russians to go up to the space station we're like we just stopped and people say well it's because of lack of funding and that is absolutely true that's absolutely the case but it's still weird it's still weird that between 1969 and 1972, we flew out and landed on the moon and came back.

[180] And we did it a bunch of times.

[181] And then we're like, we're done.

[182] That's it.

[183] Done.

[184] Now we just go 300 miles.

[185] And that's it.

[186] No higher than that.

[187] 400 miles.

[188] Like people don't go above 400 miles.

[189] Like the last time people have been above 400 miles is the Apollo space programs.

[190] So again, most likely, yeah.

[191] Most likely they went to the moon for sure but I'm the dork in me the the conspiracy loon that's still alive in the corner of the back of my brain holding onto an ember and blowing on it every now and then trying to keep the the fire of madness alive still wants to believe that they could have faked it we just need to get neil digasi tyson back i would just submit to i love that guy so much i'm such a fan to me that'd be like arguing with paul mccartney about whether his music is good yeah And I'm not an arguer about it any man, but that's so bullshit, so contradictory, because I do argue about it.

[192] But what I mean about it is I'm really not committed.

[193] That sounds like bullshit, too, that I'm not committed to one side or the other.

[194] I'm being totally honest.

[195] Most likely, they went to the moon.

[196] Most likely, like 99%.

[197] But the honest, childlike idiot in me, the childlike idiot who loves mysteries will fucking hold out for that bitch.

[198] You really need to write a movie, man, about, like, the faking the moon landings and make it ridiculous, like big foots in there with a werewolf.

[199] Like one of those cool sci -fi movies, like Shark Nato.

[200] Oh, my God, the werewolves going on space.

[201] What do you think it is?

[202] Why do people want to believe that there are grand conspiracies?

[203] That there's these, you know, people love to talk about grand conspiracies that may or may not exist.

[204] but they invest a lot of time and a lot of effort into these fucking things I think it's just like the same people that do that with Jesus and God and religion and stuff like that if you take that out like hey I'm not religious but I need to obsess and find secrets of other things that don't exist is that it?

[205] You know there's searching for something and answer.

[206] Yeah there's a lot of people that believe that's like a genetic thing that like there's a gene for like religious belief that it's actually a part of of, you know, a part of who we are as human beings.

[207] I mean, I grew up religious by force, and my mom's super religious, but when I don't have to go, I'm not even thinking about it, you know, but if I had to go back and do it once in a while, I have no problem with that.

[208] It's kind of relaxing.

[209] It's like being in a, you know, a tanning bed.

[210] It's kind of like a place where everybody is guaranteed to be chill.

[211] Everybody's going to be all about Jesus.

[212] They're all going to be godlike, so they're going to be real pleasant with each other.

[213] There's a lot of benefits to having a church that atheists kind of shoe, you know, throw aside.

[214] And in a lot of ways, they're right.

[215] Because it's like, okay, well, you're going to get those benefits, but in return, you're going to give up your personal freedom, your freedom of behavior, your freedom of, you know, to love and marry who you want.

[216] You're going to give up a lot of shit.

[217] But in return, you get a nice place to go on Sunday where everybody's going to be nice, and they're going to all sing stupid -ass songs together.

[218] songs and they're going to be showered and it's an excuse to dress up nice once in a while dress up nice and uh try to reinforce the good behavior habits of the community i mean there's there's merit in that and it's unfortunate that it has to be done for a lot of folks through an invisible deity but you know they would probably argue the smarter ones amongst them that spirituality in itself is trying to you know it's like a cop out to say you don't believe in god but you know you believe in a higher power like what it would it what exactly is that higher power?

[219] I mean, what definition do you have of God that's so bulletproof as written by the Bible?

[220] You know, if you say you believe in a higher power, but, you know, you're more spiritual than religious.

[221] Like, what are you even saying?

[222] Like, what exactly are you saying?

[223] Have you been in church for a while?

[224] Like, I haven't been for a while, and I'm thinking maybe there would be cool things to do, like, bring a laser pointer so when you see one of those kids playing with their toys and you can just like fuck with a kid the whole time.

[225] That might be fun.

[226] That's not good.

[227] Laser.

[228] You're not supposed to do that in a church.

[229] Church is not for games.

[230] you've missed the whole point of church it's for worship no i've never been you know i haven't been since i was a little kid i mean and but i know people who like it man they really like it they're nice people they like going to church and you know if you have your idea of what it means to be god what it means to be jesus you know if you have your idea and that idea empowers you there's a benefit in that and a lot of atheists don't want to admit to that they think the people should be able to get by without it and they should you're right but The way to help them is not by belittling them.

[231] It's more by like explaining to them, you know, if possible, if they're open to it, explaining to them exactly what religion is.

[232] Because it's not that you're against God.

[233] This has nothing to do with God.

[234] There's nothing to do with even the idea of God.

[235] It's entirely based on people writing shit down.

[236] And just because people are saying that they represent God, that you, to listen to that is just like listening to people that are telling you, that they're from another planet or telling you that they're psychic they're you just you're you have to trust these crazy people you have to trust these people and that's that's the real problem with religion it's human beings it's not that the idea that there's a god man who not the world is so fucking crazy there could be a god it really could be this the world is so nuts man it's so so so much of it just doesn't even seem real so much of this syria thing and hearing about the radiation leaking from japan i mean every day it's like a uh a well a a bigger indication that this whole thing is just fucking bananas and no one knows how to keep the lid on it.

[237] And there's billions of gallons of radioactive water leaking into the ocean and they're killing people in Syria and we're going to go kill people for killing people and who god damn.

[238] I mean it feels it feels about as crazy and fake as it could be.

[239] And I don't know how having a god would make it feel any less fake.

[240] If a God created all of us and is very disappointed in us now, that's not any less likely than a lot of things that are actually real.

[241] You know, and I'm not saying that I believe in God.

[242] I'm not saying that either.

[243] I'm just saying, how could you even know?

[244] How could you know what the fuck is next?

[245] How could you even have a guess?

[246] I guess you could have possibilities as, you know, things that you bounce around in your imagination, especially if you've had psychedelic experiences.

[247] you can have some possibilities but how the fuck do you know you don't know and to say you do is almost as bad as it's almost as bad to pretend that you know there's no God as it is to pretend that you're talking to God right yes you even pay attention you fucking ADD you down on me too of course I lost you try to have a conversation with an adult no I mean I was think see the problem with being stone is that you start talking about something and an idea and then while I'm just going wow that's an interesting right there and start thinking about that one idea you're still going on with you know what I mean you got slowed down yeah the weed slowed you down that's right I started thinking going off about something about God being simulation theory I was thinking that simulation theories it's like cigarettes man cigarettes are fucking with you it's fucking with your mind hey did you read that thing about um gaining weight um it was uh in today about It had to do with cigarettes that they found a reason why people gain weight after they quit cigarettes.

[248] And it has to do with the changing of the stomach flora.

[249] Really interesting stuff.

[250] I thought it was just because it made your heart go faster, so it burned off more calories.

[251] Apparently not.

[252] Apparently not.

[253] I got to find this thing.

[254] And you crave putting things in your mouth.

[255] You know, people had smoked cigarettes.

[256] I don't want to know about all that, okay?

[257] You craving shit in your mouth.

[258] I'm trying to find this.

[259] There has to be a link to cigarettes and breastfeeding.

[260] And breastfeeding?

[261] Something about breastfeeding too much, maybe, or breastfeeding too little.

[262] Why do you think that?

[263] Because the whole cigarette thing is also just putting something in your mouth all the time.

[264] For you?

[265] No, that's what I mean.

[266] Like, when you quit smoking, people buy suckers or candy or gum because you're constantly trying to do something with your mouth.

[267] Really?

[268] Yeah.

[269] It's like an oral fixation type thing.

[270] Just go suck some cocks.

[271] You know you want to.

[272] Yeah, right, whatever.

[273] Cigarettes.

[274] Hold on, I'm typing this in the Google.

[275] I can't find it.

[276] I know I retweeted it.

[277] Sometimes Twitter doesn't retweet things that you ask it to.

[278] You don't notice that?

[279] What probably happens is that somebody maybe deleted the tweet and then re, like, changed like a spelling error.

[280] Oh, right, right, right.

[281] Yeah, here it goes.

[282] scientists link weight gain from quitting smoking to a shift in gut bacteria correlated with obesity.

[283] That is amazing.

[284] You know, they're finding out more and more that stomach flora and it has a massive impact on your mood, your behavior, your immune system.

[285] All sorts of different shit is affected by the amount of bacteria, that it literally can change your behavior.

[286] And so how do you protect?

[287] Is using, like, those milk or yogurt shots?

[288] Is that the same kind of bacteria?

[289] Yeah, those will help you.

[290] Those are healthy bacteria.

[291] Those are probiotic.

[292] Sourcrow is very probiotic, too.

[293] For people who don't like raw sourcrow, especially kimchi, is very probiotic.

[294] I love kimchi.

[295] That stuff's delicious.

[296] I love sourcrow.

[297] You can eat, if you eat, yeah, make sure it's the right kind.

[298] There's a lot that's probiotic.

[299] Find out, like, do a little Google search on what's the best probiotic.

[300] sourcrow.

[301] I think a lot of natural sourcrow is naturally probiotic because it's sort of fermenting and growing bacteria in it.

[302] And kombucha, that's what I like.

[303] But Acidophilus is a big one.

[304] It's from milk culture.

[305] Acidophilus is a good one too because it's very aggressive.

[306] Like, they say that acidophilus is good in preventing certain sicknesses because it's a flora that like stays on your skin.

[307] And if it's healthy, if you have a lot of it, it sort of deters the infection.

[308] by other things that you might touch.

[309] But that could be horseshit, since I'm not a doctor.

[310] But I thought you would think this is pretty interesting.

[311] So, because I know you'd complain that that was a problem, like when you'd quit smoking, then it would be like a real problem with holding your weight back.

[312] Well, it's, because, I mean, when you smoke cigarettes, you don't have a, you don't really think of food as much.

[313] Like, it takes your cravings of food away.

[314] Somebody needs to hire Joey Diaz to do one of those blue cigarette commercials.

[315] because he smokes those things all day now.

[316] I go, what are you doing?

[317] I go, are you smoking cigarettes again?

[318] Ah, I'm saying a cigarette dog, because there's nothing.

[319] Bailey comes out.

[320] It's like a little mist.

[321] There's nothing coming out of here.

[322] I'm like, you're smoking cigarettes.

[323] And he's watching SpongeBob's Squarepants, which is hilarious, because I remember the day at Cobbs in San Francisco.

[324] He goes, I was talking about South Park.

[325] He goes, you're fucking cartoons?

[326] You're watching cartoons, dog, you're an adult.

[327] He starts going on this rampage about him.

[328] Oh, you watched it for his kid.

[329] I know, but he loves it now.

[330] He loves SpongeBob SquarePants Is like his favorite That's hilarious That's hilarious He was so fucking funny this weekend Oh my God In Milwaukee He's so funny He's in his prime right now You know He's like he's in this rare area He's got this fucking Liberacee joke It's one of my favorite jokes that he's ever done And it's like it's getting better Every time you see it Like he keeps adding to it And fixing it and tweaking it He's killing him out there So fun Dude he's working it Man, that dude's, he works.

[331] Yeah, he definitely works.

[332] He puts in a lot of work.

[333] But it's also, he's getting better, too.

[334] It's really fun.

[335] Yeah.

[336] I just love people that still love stand -up, you know.

[337] Joey fucking loves it.

[338] He loves it.

[339] He really, really enjoys it.

[340] You know, like, he has no problem, like, hanging out with people and talking to people after the shows.

[341] He really enjoys it.

[342] Hey, did you, I put this on Twitter.

[343] This is another interesting story.

[344] It's that men experience a blow to their self -esteem.

[345] when their female partners experience success, even when they aren't in direct competition.

[346] Isn't that crazy?

[347] Women's success also negatively impacts how men view the future of the relationship, researchers found.

[348] That's incredible.

[349] First of all, researchers?

[350] We're researching breakups.

[351] Wait, wait, so what you're saying is if they're more successful that scares the person?

[352] Apparently, that's exactly what they're saying.

[353] What I think it's implying is that a man wants the woman to be weak, and if the woman proves that she is successful, that she could be independent of the man, that it's very threatening.

[354] I don't know, because I can think of it both ways, because I know a girl that, so many girls that don't have jobs, you know, and it's just like, God, you've got to do something.

[355] What are you doing, living off welfare, sleeping on people's couches?

[356] I mean, like, that is the biggest turnoff.

[357] How many girls do you know like that?

[358] Like 50, 60.

[359] but no I'm a few girls but I mean and trying to go anywhere like relationship wise with them that was a huge turnoff because it's like come on what am I going to take care of this person for the rest of my life you know like what am I like my daddy is that when I'm going to be daddy to them well it's also your dating girls are much younger well 18 19 but yeah that's their children they just escape from their home from their abusive home I met a girl recently that did I say this I met a girl recently that I was older than her mom oh christ that's so gross you silly bitch that's weird um i kind of can see how for a lot of men that are insecure that would be like a real thing it's fucking hard to be secure with like a really powerful woman in a relationship can you imagine if you were like dating jennifer lopez and she's like uh what are you doing today and you're like i'm gonna go to do a podcast and she's like oh really well i'm hosting the grammies yeah unless you're both puts on some diamonds he wiggles her ass in front of you walks out the door and a bunch of dudes hold open the door for her and she slides into a limousine and photographer snap a picture and then she darts off and like damn that bitch doesn't need me at all she doesn't even need me a little yeah but if you were both famous like that i think it would work or like at least both enough to a point where you're just like all right we're both chill with our you know we're both making good money to get you know maybe yeah but maybe they compete against each other like superstars you know maybe katherine zeta jones and michael Douglas, maybe that was part of the Duke, was like, how good he played Leveratchie?

[360] God damn, I can't take this.

[361] No, they actually fucked.

[362] Like him and Matt Damon probably says.

[363] Well, it's like, I got to do it.

[364] It's for the part.

[365] That's why.

[366] The study, I thought it was fascinating that they did a study on this, but it also thought it was fascinating the results because they kind of make sense.

[367] I've known, especially like for a weak man, you know, I think it's probably really hard for a lot of dudes who are not like where they want to be to deal with like a partner who's like maybe possibly surpassing them you know in like the social ladder or the perceived success ladder like passing them and like almost making them feel diminished by their own woman like in competition like you've met guys that like can't play basketball with them because if they lose they get they get shitty have you ever met people like that or pool or you know or a video game Yeah, but I've also known ex -girlfriends and women that I've known that got mad or jealous of, like, my position and my job.

[368] Like, oh, you have to just, you know, get paid to talk all day, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[369] Like, and so I think it works county, isn't it?

[370] Yeah, I think it works both ways.

[371] Well, that's just, again, people, you're fucking hanging around with, son.

[372] I have to put shit in my ass all day and what?

[373] You have to talk?

[374] Oh, Christ.

[375] Yeah, but you know what?

[376] That talking thing is something that you kind of, like, figured out how.

[377] to get there, all right?

[378] And if she wants to talk for a living, she needs to figure out how to get there.

[379] It's really that simple.

[380] I mean, just because you did doesn't mean that she can't, and it also doesn't mean that somehow or not that you took anything away from her.

[381] So when people are, like, shitty to you about your thing that you're doing, like, you're missing out on a huge opportunity to be bored with your own life and do something about it.

[382] Like, to bitch about you, you don't have to do anything.

[383] All you doing is they're talking.

[384] Yeah, you don't even work.

[385] I ain't talk.

[386] You ever done a hard day's work in your life this, hon?

[387] Yes, I've done about 20 years.

[388] People will get mad at you if you don't work hard.

[389] Yeah, look at you with your manicured fingers.

[390] You're not even struggling.

[391] You don't even hate.

[392] You don't even hate work in life.

[393] Right?

[394] Yeah.

[395] Folks, it ain't about that.

[396] It ain't about the guy who drives buying a clean car when you're dirty.

[397] It's not his fault.

[398] It's you should figure out how to be clean.

[399] You should figure out how to do a job that doesn't involve you walking in mud all day.

[400] And that's possible because somebody else has done it.

[401] It doesn't mean...

[402] I don't buy the idea that, you know, the society, the way it is right now, it has to be this way.

[403] Someone's always going to have to work at Burger King.

[404] Someone's always going to have to...

[405] I don't buy that.

[406] I think people are pretty fucking flexible.

[407] If you look at the broad spectrum of humans and human behavior from different cultures all over the world, it's pretty obvious to me that there's a lot of different ways that people can act.

[408] We don't have to have fast food workers.

[409] We don't have to have people who work shit jobs.

[410] We don't have to.

[411] We just need to figure out how to restructure society so everybody somehow or another plays a part, has something to contribute, has something to share.

[412] I mean, that's what a real society is supposed to be like.

[413] I've given you some coconuts.

[414] You give me some fish.

[415] You know, we make a deal and you do it back and forth and left and right.

[416] And when there's nothing to contribute, then you start looking when the president needs to give us jobs.

[417] We need jobs.

[418] So instead of something to contribute, you just find something to do with your time.

[419] And then it becomes about doing that more than it becomes about finding something to contribute.

[420] So society gets wrapped around becoming a part of a machine.

[421] Society, instead of becoming a bunch of individuals that are expressing themselves in unique ways, and everybody sort of borrows and shares and sells this and you sell that, and we all sort of figure out how we can contribute in a society, we got sidetracked and diverted into these boxes that they call companies and corporations and we got stuck into these containers that go cubicles or offices and we got forced into this system so our time instead of it being invested in making pottery or or fixing cars or doing something where you have a passion or you have some sort of a connection to instead of that you've sold your life to sit in a box and work for a machine an uncaring machine that demands productivity It doesn't understand you.

[422] It doesn't want to understand you.

[423] It has a bunch of very strict things in order to keep the humor at a minimum in the office, just in case one of you fuckheads says some stupid sex jokes to get some sued, and they have to give somebody a million dollars.

[424] So get it together, and this is your life now.

[425] No natural behavior.

[426] Everybody's wearing clothes they don't want to wear.

[427] Everybody's showing up and doing something they don't want to do.

[428] They have no connection to.

[429] That's the problem with our society.

[430] And then what's the reward for all this stuff?

[431] Go home, get a big TV.

[432] Go home.

[433] You're going to get a shiny belt buckle.

[434] You're going to get a nice purse.

[435] You're going to wear shoes that you couldn't afford last week.

[436] You're going to get that dream car.

[437] And every week we're chasing down this new object.

[438] And every week we're trying to fill this hole in this sad shadow of a life that we've been left with after work.

[439] That you work eight to whatever to hours a day plus commuting.

[440] And then you're like this.

[441] And that's your life.

[442] That's your real fucking life.

[443] All that other stuff is not your life anymore.

[444] All that other stuff is work.

[445] And most of us have commended to that.

[446] I know you've been there before and I've been there before.

[447] And we understand that it's a trap because we got out of it.

[448] But for the people that are in it, a lot of times they don't even understand it's a trap.

[449] They just think it's a good job.

[450] They think they got dental.

[451] I'm doing really good.

[452] I got my own pocket spots, got my name on it.

[453] You're just a piece of a heartless, shitty machine that makes money.

[454] The Joe Rogan experience.

[455] I could just see that being cut into one of those YouTube videos that somebody's in the background there's like people walking fast and the sun rising really slow and...

[456] Well, you know what man?

[457] Somebody's got to say that because if people don't hear it they're going to get a bad job they're going to waste their fucking life.

[458] But don't you think you have to go through all that just to figure out what you want to do?

[459] No, I think I did but I don't think you have to.

[460] Look, I did but I became...

[461] When I became a comedian when I was 21, I was 100 % convinced that I was going to be a stand -up comedian for the rest of my life.

[462] Like, I didn't need to worry about what was next.

[463] I was like, this is what I'm doing.

[464] Like, I don't want to do anything else.

[465] Like, this is what I'm doing.

[466] Once I found it, I was good.

[467] All the jobs were just to feed myself while I was trying to make that work.

[468] But it's, to get one and commit to it and have it become a part of your life because it's really problematic.

[469] because if you're a dirt bag like myself who drove limos and did construction and they always almost kind of temporary jobs that a lot of people drift in and out of there's nothing expected of you but if you get hired by a major corporation and become a big part of their their you know their program like let's say you're also an animator and you get a gig like I have a friend who was an illustrator and he was working for Nickelodeon and he got fired and he was panicking and he was like shit I don't know what the fuck to do.

[470] He's like, you know, I got to figure out another job.

[471] So he started making paintings and selling his paintings.

[472] It was the greatest thing that's ever happened to him.

[473] Now he's his name's Todd White.

[474] He's a super successful artist.

[475] He makes like this kind of martini style like cocktails from the like cocktail parties from the 1920s.

[476] Like those cool kind of cartoonish martini glass things.

[477] He's got a real specific distinctive style.

[478] It's really cool.

[479] He's a great artist.

[480] And he's also a black belt and jiu -jitsu.

[481] I know him from John Jack Machado's.

[482] He's a great guy, but it was an opportunity for him to lose a job, and even a job that he loved as an illustrator.

[483] But, you know, I'm sure he'd much rather do what he wants to do and do what's going on in his mind.

[484] Oh, that's a cool style.

[485] Oh, he's really cool.

[486] He's badass.

[487] And he's a great guy, too.

[488] Very cool guy.

[489] He's a talented jihitsu guy, too.

[490] Last time I roll with him, he catch me in an unbar.

[491] Me like this.

[492] Yeah, he's very good.

[493] All of his stuff is really cool.

[494] It's very uniquely him.

[495] Do you ever go to, like, art galleries and just have some wine and check out in art?

[496] Never do any of that stuff?

[497] I'm losing patience with humans.

[498] No, I have been to art galleries, sure.

[499] There's, you know, I like certain types of art. I'm really into, like, sculptures.

[500] I really like, yeah, I'm fascinated by that.

[501] fascinated by really good sculptures and really good painting.

[502] But I went to this art gallery that had like a lot of this like really what's the way you would put it?

[503] I guess it's modern sort of abstract that Jackson Pollock type stuff and it was so ridiculously expensive.

[504] It was like it was hurting my feelings.

[505] I was looking at these pinons like this is just some paint this just you threw some paint around and now you want a shitload of money for this thing like this is crazy.

[506] I can't get into that I can't.

[507] I just can't.

[508] I get it.

[509] I get it maybe like it would make a room look brighter.

[510] Stick that in the corner.

[511] I don't get it being worth $30 ,000.

[512] I don't get that.

[513] This doesn't make any sense to me. I see what that is.

[514] That's some paint that I could take my four -year -old and I could get her to do that.

[515] Yeah, I don't, I buy prints.

[516] I believe in prints.

[517] There's like this whole thing where people look down on prints.

[518] Like, oh, you just printed it out.

[519] So what?

[520] But, you know, there's only whatever.

[521] Yeah.

[522] But I love art, and I just recently got into it.

[523] But I noticed that when looking at my walls, I have a theme of, like, boobs and, like, sexy women and stuff like that.

[524] My uncle, I don't know if I ever told you, my uncle, growing up, my aunt and uncle, we'd go to his house for Christmas.

[525] And there would be these crazy, humongous paintings.

[526] Like, they have a nice farmhouse, really old school, like, religious family.

[527] And then they would have these humongous paintings of just naked people.

[528] or women, naked women everywhere, like, disgust.

[529] And they would have penthouses in the, in the bathroom.

[530] Oh, yeah, you told me about this family.

[531] Yeah, but it's like, I'm turning into that.

[532] That's so weird.

[533] Well, you're not because you don't have kids.

[534] Yeah.

[535] You know, if you have kids come over and that's how you're living, that's where it gets different.

[536] You know, you saw that when you were a kid, right?

[537] Yeah.

[538] Oh, yeah.

[539] And I would sit there and take, like, 15 poops.

[540] And they had kids?

[541] They had kids as well?

[542] No, no kids.

[543] Yeah, that's the deal.

[544] If they don't have kids, it's a totally different environment.

[545] Yeah.

[546] They actually live like natural people.

[547] People who have kids have to hide everything.

[548] So you're living like an actual man. Like if men wanted to decorate their house and they didn't worry about the repercussions of the design, there'd be tits everywhere.

[549] The only reason when we don't have tits all over our house is because women would get mad at us.

[550] But if you went over a guy's house and saw tits everywhere, you're like, oh, this guy is not going to stick with.

[551] He's not marrying me. This is not going to work out.

[552] Like, we're not having a family together.

[553] He's going to stick it in me. and then another girl and then he's black tits over here and Chinese tits over there like nobody wants that in the female kingdom they don't want that they'll start taking them down if they move in with you the first thing that's going is the tits right we gotta take those tits down this is just too much we can replace them with my tits like maybe you'll get that I always had that problem whenever I lived with a girl we're like look we have to take down this poster of Terminator you know like we're putting up a basket and putting some and there's a lot of men who won't admit that they're changing because the woman wants them to behave differently.

[554] And those guys become a real problem because they start to justify their behavior as if it's correct.

[555] They'll say things to you like, you know, why don't you just grow up, man?

[556] Like, seriously.

[557] I think it's about time you take the tits down off your wall.

[558] I mean, fuck, bro.

[559] You're almost 40, all right?

[560] Really.

[561] Meanwhile, they are miserable and you're smoking pot giggling watching sci -fi films while they're arguing with their wife and your walls are covered with tits.

[562] So, no one's wrong here, okay?

[563] I hope you like your life and, you know, and what, but you can't tell someone that the way they're living with tits on their wall is a bad way.

[564] It's not.

[565] It's just not your way.

[566] But everybody who doesn't want, they don't want options.

[567] They don't want you to have that option without being a loser.

[568] No, no, no, no. You're losing and I'm winning.

[569] Do you understand you with your tits on your wall, you're almost fucking 40, pull your pants up, loser.

[570] They want you to be a loser.

[571] This one girl that I know, I went to her house, and she, you know, she was in the industry.

[572] The industry.

[573] I love it.

[574] I said that.

[575] I think that's a movie.

[576] Yeah, well, she was in porn.

[577] But she had this lot of artist friends that, like, you know, she was in, like, comic books and stuff like that where they would draw it.

[578] But she would have all these fans send her, like, pictures of herself, like, these humongous paintings of, like, her bending over, like, her butthole.

[579] And it's, like, I don't know.

[580] I'm not going to hang this up in my house.

[581] And so she's like, do you want this?

[582] Part of me was like, this would be the coolest thing in the whole entire road.

[583] I would put this, you know, like, and I'm like, wait, no, I can't have a...

[584] Yes, you could.

[585] You should have got it.

[586] You should have got it.

[587] And you should have put it right behind you while the show's playing.

[588] Dude, that would have been awesome.

[589] How big is it?

[590] Can you still get it?

[591] No. Viewstream would mind if we put a Band -Aid over the butthole.

[592] Oh, that would be awesome.

[593] Just left it alone, just put a band -aid over the butthole.

[594] I should ask her.

[595] That would be hilarious if I had to be...

[596] Well, you know, then our show would probably lose a lot of credibility, and some guests wouldn't want to be on.

[597] Like, back when we had the...

[598] The Flashlight as a sponsor.

[599] There's a lot of guests that were like, you know, we can't be associated with the flashlight.

[600] Do you still have a box of those?

[601] Or did you have to throw them out?

[602] No, no. I've got them.

[603] Do you want one?

[604] Yeah, I need a couple.

[605] I think I have two or three left.

[606] People keep coming over my house and stealing them.

[607] I just want a fresh one, man. I want to go on vacation for a while.

[608] I definitely have some.

[609] I definitely have some.

[610] Yeah, they sent me boxes of those things.

[611] It's a fascinating thing how people would negative, like, they would have a negative.

[612] feeling about the show because of that.

[613] And one of the good things about having that as a sponsor is because no one could ever take you seriously.

[614] You didn't have any of the responsibilities of someone who's like a serious journalist or anything.

[615] If you're being sponsored by the fleshlight, you're immediately dismissed.

[616] So it's good.

[617] It's good that way.

[618] And anybody who comes on, look, you've got to realize you're being sponsored by the fleshlight.

[619] Didn't Sam Harris have a problem with that?

[620] Did we do like no sponsors on his podcast?

[621] I don't know.

[622] I think that's how we worked around.

[623] Oh, that's right.

[624] Yeah, I think he was, well, I mean, makes sense.

[625] The guy's like a serious intellectual.

[626] He's going to come hang out with us assholes and talk for rubber pussies and all kinds of other craziness.

[627] Yeah, imagine having Ashley Madison as a sponsor.

[628] That would be weird karma right there.

[629] Yeah, that seems like if people want to go out and put together in the list of affair, they don't need help.

[630] You don't need a website.

[631] But, you know, I ain't hating.

[632] That's Ashley Madison is an interesting.

[633] one though it's like it shows the changing of the times and can you imagine if there anything like this existed in the 1980s or the 1990s it's like people are just like opening up to so many weird and interesting new possibilities for how how we interact with each other I think that it's going to get real weird within the next 20 years man real fucking weird I think men and women are probably going to be able to do a lot of really weird communication through technology where you're going to have to, you know, have something that records, either records experiences or can convey experiences and you be able to sync up with each other.

[634] You'll be able to feel what it feels like when you go inside of her.

[635] It's probably going to have something to do with, like, almost the next, after Google Glass is when they finally get it inside your eyeball, you know?

[636] And so it's reading your thoughts and feelings.

[637] If you have a relationship, you're like, all right, I'm granting you access into my face.

[638] You know what I mean?

[639] So she can feel and see everything you do.

[640] Like, it's almost going to be, that's going to be the new marriage where, like, no, I could know exactly what's going on because I could actually, I'm on your database.

[641] You know what I mean?

[642] It's like, does that make sense?

[643] Totally makes sense.

[644] And they could ask if you want to pair, you know, should you allow Lydia to pair with you?

[645] Right.

[646] And you're like, oh, okay, yes.

[647] Permanently?

[648] Like, that's an option.

[649] Permanently, like, you have to throw your database away if you want to get out of it or something like that.

[650] You got to go to the Apple store and they fucking do surgery in your head.

[651] And you have to grant certain access, like if there's whatever the doctor is nowadays, you'd have to grant, like, you'd get access to me to my body for, you know, to fix me. Yeah.

[652] And then some rogue doctor, you know, is not going to take the access away.

[653] They're going to hack it.

[654] They're going to hack it and tap in your fucking dumb, son.

[655] And then the government's going to find a way to get into your database and be able to control you so where it's actually you're walking around.

[656] Well, what's incredible is how close, at least in concept it is, to the Matrix?

[657] The movie The Matrix, when the dude had the big bolt in the back of his head, then he realized when he got unplugged that he had been locked up to that thing, that's, I mean, that idea is not far -fetched.

[658] Right.

[659] It's just, it's not.

[660] They're going to be able to stimulate various aspects of the brain and create memories.

[661] They're going to be able to introduce artificial memories that haven't been there before.

[662] These are all, like, ideas they're pretty sure they're going to be able to pull off.

[663] Demolition, man. You've seen the demolition.

[664] man, right?

[665] That's Arnold.

[666] No. I mean, Sylvester Stallone, right?

[667] Yeah, this is the...

[668] And Wesley Snipes, right?

[669] This is the sex scene.

[670] This is a sex scene?

[671] Yeah, but in the future.

[672] Oh, they were in opposite ends of the house or something like that?

[673] I can't.

[674] I think it's...

[675] What happens here?

[676] They put helmets on that, so they bang?

[677] They put helmets on, yeah, that's right.

[678] Oh, this is hilarious.

[679] What year was this?

[680] I would say something like 95 or something like.

[681] We'll begin what is to us.

[682] She says, having sex.

[683] of course.

[684] Like he doesn't, he's like, what the hell?

[685] I don't even know about all this year.

[686] 93.

[687] Is that Sandra Bullock?

[688] Yeah, of course.

[689] God damn, she's hot back then still.

[690] Oh, can't believe this.

[691] Can't believe we're meeting in the middle of the universe and have a little sex.

[692] It's too much face.

[693] Yeah, where the boo day.

[694] I think he's just nutted in his pants.

[695] Oh.

[696] So, best of those.

[697] Oh, just not it in it, pets!

[698] That's not how sex is to you, right?

[699] Like a crazy woman's face, like crazy.

[700] What, there's another option?

[701] That would be nightmare.

[702] That's not sexy.

[703] Whoa, this is craziness.

[704] Look at this.

[705] I can't get a ticket up.

[706] I'm coming too hard.

[707] It came too fast.

[708] What do you say?

[709] Cheez -Jet, is that what you call this?

[710] Yeah, that's what...

[711] It's been proven to produce higher orders of alpha waves during digitized transference of sexual energies.

[712] All right, Austin.

[713] What do you say we just do with the old -fashioned way?

[714] Oh, this...

[715] Whatever.

[716] Wow, that sounds like a really well -written movie That was back when they hadn't figured that out yet There's so many people that are just in love with that movie The movie is a great movie I don't talk shit about my movie Just because of the one weird sexy Where's Sandra Bullock Ben, man?

[717] She's in a new movie Oh With Bill Burr?

[718] No, is Bill Burr in the movie?

[719] I heard Bill Burr's in Breaking Bad Yeah, I heard he isn't too That's badass Bill Burr rules Do you watch that show?

[720] No, I do not I watched it the first season way back in the day.

[721] Yeah.

[722] But I haven't watched it a while.

[723] It's one of those I've got to catch up on it, especially now that this is the last season.

[724] I'm just going to watch the whole thing.

[725] Positive pregnancy tests in high demand on Craigslist.

[726] Man, Chasbono is actually looking like a dude nowadays.

[727] Yeah, that's what happens, man. Look at that.

[728] They pump you full of testosterone.

[729] You lift weights for a few years.

[730] What is the left?

[731] That's old Chasbona when he was fatter.

[732] Was that when he was still man?

[733] Yeah, this is right when he started being a man, I guess.

[734] Wow.

[735] But now he looks pretty charming.

[736] It's really interesting.

[737] Right?

[738] Incredibly interesting.

[739] I mean, that's pretty good.

[740] There's so few women to men that, you know, you hear about.

[741] It seems more rare, right?

[742] Yeah, he looks like a total dude.

[743] Positive pregnancy.

[744] It's kind of cool that they can do that to him, you know?

[745] Yeah.

[746] This whole life wanting to be a man. Positive pregnancy tests.

[747] in high demand on Craigslist.

[748] I'll read it again.

[749] How crazy is that shit?

[750] Positive pregnancy?

[751] Yes.

[752] So, like, just to make somebody marry you, maybe?

[753] Exactly.

[754] They advertise tests for women hoping to trick their boyfriends into popping the question.

[755] Wow.

[756] Whoa.

[757] That's crazy.

[758] They're only 25 bucks, too.

[759] 25 bucks?

[760] Positive pregnancy test, 25 bucks in Buffalo, New York.

[761] Yes, you saw that right.

[762] I'm willing selling positive pregnancy tests ever since I became pregnant I have been asked numerous times for a positive test so I decided to start charging for it exclamation point I will take the test the same day you want to pick it up I don't care what you use it for not my business wink I'm always near my phone so just send an email wow that's kind of crazy some crazy pregnant bitch just pissing on chicks pregnancy tests all day that's her business 25 bucks a pop she's got a basket full of them just pissing on them like crazy drinking giant jugs of Kool -Aid and pissing all over these fucking things and then like two days before the wedding you fake a miscarriage and then everyone buys you better toys and presents gives you more money Oh that's so rude you're evil I don't even think the most evil woman could think that way.

[763] Actually, they might, right?

[764] I might time it.

[765] Totally exactly right.

[766] Man, I had somebody do a fake pregnancy with me once.

[767] Remember that?

[768] That shit.

[769] It's stupid.

[770] Just so I would give her money.

[771] Yeah, there's a lot of these positive pregnancy tests things where they're advertising these things and where they're asking for them too.

[772] It's kind of weird, man. I would buy just to smell them.

[773] How much is it?

[774] $25 a smell?

[775] $25 just to smell some random chick's piss.

[776] If you're a real freak, you might go for it.

[777] I bet you could sell that for $25.

[778] Here, send me a rag and I'll pee on it.

[779] It's not outside the realm of possibility.

[780] It's crazy, though.

[781] Manipulation.

[782] Just some people, like, that's their relationship.

[783] It's just a constant battle like that.

[784] It's got to be a weird way to enter into a life.

[785] lifelong commitment from a fake pregnancy test.

[786] I mean, what if it all works out?

[787] You're happy you got married.

[788] And one day you're sitting around.

[789] She goes, honey, I'm going to tell you something really funny.

[790] Remember when I had that miscarriage?

[791] I was never really pregnant.

[792] It was fake.

[793] I knew you'd be happy eventually.

[794] So, look, I was right.

[795] Here we are.

[796] 60 years later.

[797] The guy's like, shit.

[798] I don't care, honey.

[799] love you.

[800] It's got to be the responsibility of being the one who could possibly get pregnant.

[801] Boy, does that fucking change the game.

[802] That's why they say that one of the biggest changes in behavior for human beings was when birth control was invented.

[803] Because then, for the first time, women had some sort of control over their own ability to get pregnant or not get pregnant, their own contraception.

[804] They didn't have to count on a guy to wear a rubber, that guy doesn't want to wear a rubber.

[805] Otherwise, they got to get like an IUD or a diaphragm and those things fucking slip out.

[806] Especially if you have a thunderous, tremendous waterfall of loads slamming into that thing, they can't take a good shot.

[807] You know, they're good for like the average load.

[808] But you get like a Wiltschammerlin load in there, just finds this way around, blows that sucker sideways.

[809] Like one of those big revolving doors in Indiana Jones, that's what it does.

[810] The load hits it and just opens it up.

[811] But that was a big change, apparently, for women.

[812] when they had like this new freedom like they could just fuck around they didn't have to worry about some guy could just shoot one in there oh my god you almost got me pregnant psych we didn't have to worry about it I just can't believe that people still want to get married nowadays I mean it just seems like now that you just know so many people that go and get married get divorced you know it's just like you know more people that have been married than that are that are married at least yeah well you There's always going to be a certain amount that are trying to talk you into it, too, which is always weird.

[813] Like, you should just get married.

[814] Hey, man, you should settle down.

[815] Get married.

[816] Marry the girl.

[817] Go ahead, marry her.

[818] You should marry her.

[819] And you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[820] Hey, hey, hey, hey.

[821] Why do marry people want to drag other people into that fucking shell game?

[822] It's like a cult.

[823] I never tell people to get married.

[824] People ask me to get married, you know, if they should get married.

[825] I say, listen, I enjoy being.

[826] married, but it's rare.

[827] It's rare that you do.

[828] You know, me and Mrs. Rogan get along great.

[829] She's a sweetheart.

[830] She's a really nice person.

[831] We enjoy talking to each other.

[832] We enjoy raising children together.

[833] We love it.

[834] But that shit's rare, man. It's really rare that people don't annoy.

[835] They'll flunk out of each other after a while.

[836] They grow apart.

[837] They start getting annoyed with each other.

[838] They're around each other all the time.

[839] And then the dark shit happens when you start breaking up, and people start getting mercenary about where the money goes.

[840] People start getting mercenary about the house, and it starts becoming a competition.

[841] I've seen it happen too many times.

[842] I've seen it happen way too many times for me to think that it's a good idea to get married.

[843] Because the ending of relationships when people just break up aren't nearly as bad.

[844] But the consequences of divorce are just fucking devastating.

[845] Breakups suck.

[846] Nobody likes breaking up.

[847] Nobody likes being depressed.

[848] Nobody likes missing somebody.

[849] It sucks, period.

[850] But divorce is breakup times 100, maybe more.

[851] Where you become 100 % enemies usually.

[852] Yeah, they go to war.

[853] Yeah.

[854] People go to war, man, and it gets ugly.

[855] And, you know, they legally have to still be engaged in this thing.

[856] You're brought into the court.

[857] It's like once you get into that court system and you're divvying everything up inside the court system, you have to be in their world.

[858] You have to be engaging with them, men and women.

[859] both, you know, I'm sure, like it equally, both are equally guilty of wanting the person who wants to leave them to be forced to pay or it's craziness, man, it's madness.

[860] The only time it makes sense is to me when there's children involved and when the woman has to, you know, it takes a lot of time to raise children.

[861] It takes a tremendous amount of time to be pregnant, to give birth, to actually raise the child, and a woman should be compensated for that, I think, you know, if you choose to not work and stay home and you're raising children, there's a big difference between that and a couple that don't have any kids that are in a relationship that break up and the woman gets mercenary.

[862] Because I've seen that too, and that is so much grosser.

[863] That is the grossest shit ever.

[864] When you see a couple and they're just a, you know, a man and a woman and they don't have any kids together, and they decide to get married.

[865] And during the time they're together and they're in love, they both work and they split income.

[866] And then when they go to get divorced, the mercenary shit that takes place.

[867] The fighting over the house, the fucking, you know, calling the IRS on someone and pretending they owe more money than they do, sending in anonymous letters about them.

[868] Like, all that kind of craziness starts happening.

[869] And people become enemies with each other in a way that doesn't exist in any other kind of relationship.

[870] It's very rare that friends ever do that to each other, you know?

[871] Like, how often do you hear about a friend like suing another friend, taking a friend to court?

[872] It's pretty rare.

[873] Very rare.

[874] But it almost happens at least half of the cases where people decide to get married at least half the people I know that decided to do that legal contract thing wind up falling apart at least half and when it gets to half it's got to be like Jesus what a crap shooter you involved in right the only time it makes sense to me is raising children and even then it doesn't make sense it makes sense that a woman would want it and that they like being able to say it and they like the different classification that they feel it gives the relationship, but it's a nutty way to live.

[875] Tied into this legal system.

[876] The legal system you should avoid that motherfucker, if at all possible.

[877] Whenever you can avoid being involved in the world of lawyers and paying for lawyers and going to court, Jesus Christ, avoid that.

[878] Avoid it if you can.

[879] Absolutely avoided if you can.

[880] So you take your shit, I'll take my shit.

[881] Well, that's how you're rocking it.

[882] That's how you're rocking it right now.

[883] But then, you know, there's also you get lonely.

[884] You want to know someone like, you want to know someone truly and intimately and that takes a long time to do to really understand someone because people like they pretend to be something that they're not and they put on behavior that is like acceptable at the beginning you know because you think they're really unique and then as you get to know them you find out it's kind of a bullshit act it takes a long time to figure out who's real and who's not and who you really enjoy hanging out with and talking to and you don't get that and those fly -by -night girl just moves in moves out two month later relationships you get chaos and eggs thrown at your house.

[885] T -shirts stolen.

[886] You get craziness, man. And that's what you're going to get in that sort of a relationship.

[887] So that's the rub.

[888] It's like, what do you want?

[889] Do you want to get the possibility being annoyed at each other in constant fights, which we've all seen.

[890] We've all seen.

[891] We've all seen the legal entanglements that involve when you break up.

[892] Or do you want to have these fly -by -night, 20 -year -old crazy bitches coming in and out of your life?

[893] Because you don't seem to be enjoying it either.

[894] You see, that doesn't.

[895] seem to be like the best option either you know everybody wants to be able to james bond it you know you've known me and a lot of relationships long relationships though uh i have always been one of those people that just likes it i think it's comfortable you know like having somebody even if you know you're not yeah yeah yeah excited or anything like that it's just nice to have like somebody with you all the time like a partner that you can go home to you know and stuff but companionship i haven't done that for a while though, have that.

[896] If it goes bad.

[897] I live with somebody or done that.

[898] I kind of miss it, though.

[899] It's a nice feeling.

[900] If it goes bad, and I've seen it go bad with you, it gets ugly.

[901] It's devastating for your emotional health.

[902] It doesn't feel good.

[903] Yeah.

[904] It's a real problem when you get really close to somebody and then you start hating each other.

[905] That has a real physical effect on you.

[906] You know, I've had like the worst shows of my life after breakups, you know, the worst shows ever.

[907] Because it's like you just don't feel funny at all.

[908] You just feel like I'll flip.

[909] fucking loser.

[910] Some of the worst sets I had like when I moved from New York to Boston to New York I was breaking up with this chick that I dated in Boston and she really was done with me before I was really done with her so it was like extra ego bruise and I just decided you know to get the fuck out of Dodge and move to New Jersey and the going on stage was so hard because I was nothing was funny to me. I was just like an emotional sad case.

[911] I wasn't like I didn't I didn't understand how to embrace things.

[912] I didn't understand how to embrace the adventure of like now I'm going to be doing stand -up in New York and you know, holy shit, I'm here.

[913] I moved out.

[914] I'm staying in my grandparents' house in New Jersey.

[915] I was just a terrible mess.

[916] Like terrified about the future, bummed out that this girl doesn't want to be with me anymore.

[917] And my sets were terrible because of that for like a while like a couple of weeks took me a while like sort of get it together and get loose again that's indicative of like there's an emotional state that breakups put you in it's unhealthy yeah yeah especially when I remember my big one when I first moved out here I mean I did it for like seven years and I I went on complete sadness that you know like this is the worst thing in the world for like a month then I went revenge I'm going to lose a shitload of weight and that's when I lost all that weight remember that and it was it it it was so I mean that lasted a year a year of my life probably you know when it said to done I was still like what is you doing oh my god she where she where she's yeah it's so weird how how much connection you get with somebody and then when that's gone it's like they kind of died like you went from being like this is my partner in life to whoa that person exists still like she's yeah breathing right now she's yeah you ever stop the thing about like high school girlfriends oh yeah that's real weird i just talked to one the other day did you really yeah she's she has daughters now and everything like that this is the one that i dated in high school that cheated on me with my best friend in the day of graduation she sat with her family his family oh my goodness where's so -and -so and i was like she's over there with laura ted's parents but uh she she's like uh do you have all those pictures i mean i used to have tons of photos of me and her And I was like, yeah, I actually have them on my flicker.

[918] And so she wanted me to, like, print them out or send her links so she could print her out and look, show her kids like, oh, this is what, how mommy used to be, you know.

[919] It's weird talking to that, you know, that was 20 years ago.

[920] It's weird talking to anybody that you knew from back then that you were friends with.

[921] But it's really weird when it's a girl.

[922] A girl used to date.

[923] It's because of that weird thing.

[924] strange feeling used to fuck each other and now here you are 20 years later saying shut up kids quiet mommy's on the phone with Uncle Brian it's not the same person either it almost feels like it's a different person of course it is a different person you're a different person than when I met you everybody's different you know if you keep evolving eventually you're not the same thing that you were just a year ago you're not the same thing you were a week ago if you have conviction you mean who are you are what you decide you are right now.

[925] It's whether or not you can maintain that, you know, whether or not you can maintain what you would like to be.

[926] But for a lot of people, you're barely the same thing every year.

[927] Every year you're developing sort of new ideas about things, understanding your faults a little bit better, understanding where you fuck up a little bit better and try not to do it, being a little bit more disciplined about certain things where you feel like you've been lacking.

[928] If that happens, you're not the same thing you were a year ago.

[929] You're not the same thing you were five years ago.

[930] You're not.

[931] You change.

[932] I don't believe half the things that I believed 10, 15 years ago.

[933] I look at things totally differently.

[934] Like, we were talking about the Hugh Hefner joke.

[935] You know, like, I wouldn't do that joke today.

[936] I wouldn't pick on one guy like that for no reason, just because he's banging some checks.

[937] I would do it in a different way.

[938] I would do it way less mean.

[939] He's so adorable, too, with his little captain's hat on, his little blankies and stuff.

[940] Well, it's, here's, here was my, my beef with.

[941] that and it'll always be this is that he's a pornographer and no one wants to admit that.

[942] For some reason it's like the socially accepted pornography you know and I don't think there's anything wrong with pornography but I think it's weird that we pretend that if you don't show the vagina that it's somehow another acceptable and the difference between that and when you see like crystal clear like hustler stuff where they're opening your pussy that's nasty like to who?

[943] Is this for women?

[944] Is this stuff for women because it's not nasty for me?

[945] Like what's going on?

[946] And the idea is that Playboy is kind of classy, in quote.

[947] It's all about the photography.

[948] It's almost like the art of the woman.

[949] Compared to like, hey, put shit my pussy.

[950] Fuck it.

[951] Please, listen to you, you convert.

[952] It's all about the art of the woman.

[953] It is.

[954] That's the type of shit.

[955] The photographers for Playboy.

[956] Photographers for Playboy are fucking legit photographer.

[957] These people are like, the best ever.

[958] Like for photos and everything.

[959] I think she does a lot of stuff for Playboy.

[960] Pinhouse, though.

[961] I mean, you're getting a combination or hustler.

[962] You're getting a combination of good photographers and just guys that have cameras.

[963] Yeah, see, that's what I say.

[964] I don't need a lot of photography skills when it comes to, like, looking at naked chicks.

[965] Yeah.

[966] Just they have to be clear.

[967] That's a clear picture.

[968] We're good.

[969] I don't know.

[970] You look at somebody like Holly Randall.

[971] I think that's...

[972] Well, there's definitely a different feeling.

[973] There's definitely a different feeling to watching something.

[974] or looking at a magazine where girls are, you know, like, pissing in each other's mouths and spreading their assholes open.

[975] And a girl who's just posing with her mouth slightly agape, you know, arching her back, hand on her firm ass.

[976] That is different.

[977] Check out a hollyrandall .com sometimes.

[978] She's one of my favorite photographers for erotic.

[979] She does a lot of shit for Pennhouse, though, but an amazing photographer.

[980] Very nice woman, too.

[981] I just think that it's just weird that people decide what what is and what's not acceptable when it comes to pornography.

[982] And it has to do with actually seeing things.

[983] Like we'd like seeing the vagina itself like you don't think vaginas are beautiful.

[984] Do you think that somehow another that the woman's body is beautiful her breasts are beautiful but the vagina's a little much?

[985] You're you are in fact wrong.

[986] Okay?

[987] Because vaginas are beautiful.

[988] Some of them.

[989] They're delicious.

[990] They look great they look great unless there's a problem with it and you know look it is what it is i mean it's not saying that every vagina has to look awesome well we are saying though if you take photos of them you should probably limit those photos to the ones that look pretty good but that's just like unless you want it to be like a character piece if you go on some of these cam websites and you start you start seeing so many different kinds of vaginas and i tell you man if you like on my free cams you could choose uh south africa uh there's usually like four girls on there.

[991] I mean, there was this one girl and her vagina really looked unhealthy.

[992] Oh, my God.

[993] That's not pretty.

[994] So, John McCain was playing poker on his iPhone while his colleagues were discussing bombing Syria.

[995] They have a photograph of him.

[996] He's sitting there with his iPhone and he's playing poker.

[997] That's hilarious.

[998] It's fucking hilarious, dude.

[999] You've been following all this, right?

[1000] You saw all the gas videos where all those people getting gassed on i think it was u stream or something like that somebody was broadcasting it live and people were dying oh did uh have you been paying attention to i i don't know much but did they ever find out who gasped was it the government gassing their own people or was it like some death squads or something like that i do not know exactly who uh who did it i know that somebody took we should probably google that because someone took um credit for it wow that's hilarious He does, but I mean, where's this coming from?

[1001] Yes, this is I'm playing poker on his as a hero.

[1002] Wow.

[1003] That's hilarious.

[1004] Credit for boys.

[1005] But you know what?

[1006] He's so old that maybe he was just like How do I get down an email up?

[1007] What is this?

[1008] I'm trying to You know, what if he accidentally hit the poker?

[1009] You know what I mean?

[1010] Well, he's playing though.

[1011] That motherfucker's logged in.

[1012] It's like a still photo.

[1013] He's having a good time.

[1014] He knows what he wants to do.

[1015] He wants to play poker.

[1016] He doesn't want to talk about Syria.

[1017] He's been saying, let's fucking bomb him.

[1018] And then he goes right back on another race.

[1019] Full house, bitches.

[1020] Look at that.

[1021] Look at that.

[1022] Huh?

[1023] I would like to see if it was him just staring on his phone out.

[1024] What is it doing?

[1025] Like, he's too old to figure out, like, where is this is my email?

[1026] Like, you know, old people with technology?

[1027] Who did this?

[1028] So I'm still Syria.

[1029] Responsibility.

[1030] I guess the Syrian rebels?

[1031] I don't know.

[1032] There's all sorts of terrible shit going on over there.

[1033] This is the same conflict where that guy who was from the people that we're backing ate the piece of the man's heart.

[1034] Oh.

[1035] Yeah.

[1036] Cut it out of his chest.

[1037] ate a chunk of his heart.

[1038] Yeah.

[1039] Yeah.

[1040] Jesus Christ.

[1041] Who side are we on?

[1042] We're on that guy's side?

[1043] It kind of sucks, though, because if we do anything with Syria, I mean, then are we going to get in war with Russia again?

[1044] Oh, I don't know.

[1045] Because Russian has like their last base there, like they're big...

[1046] Yeah, see, who the fuck knows what's really going on behind the scenes in any of these things?

[1047] You know, I shouldn't say you know anymore.

[1048] You know that.

[1049] Yeah.

[1050] Because it's another way of saying, the documentary that we always talk about, or the paper, rather, that Smedley Butler, War is a Racket.

[1051] It's a guy who lived in the 1930s.

[1052] It was a...

[1053] war is a racket but naked and he he wrote this thing in 1935 it's so crazy because if you read it today it's so poignant it's hard to believe really that it was actually so long ago that he wrote this it was a speech and then a booklet that he put out 51 pages and it was published in 1935 by Roundtable press and the booklet was also condensed into a readers digest as a book supplement and it's it's really an impossible message today because if you it's it's it's so strange that this was actually published in a book in 1935 it's impossible for us to believe rather that this was the message and it's war as a racket it's always been it's possibly the oldest easily the most profitable surely the most vicious it's the only one international in scope.

[1054] It's the only one in which profits are reckoned in dollars and the losses in lives.

[1055] And this is, it's a long thing.

[1056] I don't want to read any more of it, but it's fucking brilliant.

[1057] And this is a guy that was a major military figure.

[1058] He was the United States Marine Corps Major General.

[1059] Two -time Medal of Honor recipient.

[1060] It's pretty crazy.

[1061] So when you, you know, when you look at that, that was 1935, you think, well, what has been done about stopping that type of behavior?

[1062] Absolutely nothing.

[1063] Not only that, it's evolved.

[1064] because everything evolves.

[1065] It's not like they've cleaned the house and taken all the people out that were involved in this type of behavior and educated them on ethics and morals and humanity and being kind of people.

[1066] Get the fuck out of here, bitch.

[1067] They're just better at hiding it, better at making money at it, and just better at it, period.

[1068] From whatever this was, which was almost 100 years ago now, which is really crazy, it was 80 fucking years ago, that's, God damn, that's so long ago.

[1069] just wrap your head around that 1935 date that's incredible 80 fucking years ago almost wrap your head around that just think about these people living back then and this guy comes out with this book or you know world war one he comes out with this book before world war two is like this is just bullshit like they're just going over there to save bankers they're just going over here to make it safe for the oil companies they're just going over here And they're pretending that they're fucking saving the world.

[1070] When you read that, there's no reason to believe that anything has changed.

[1071] So when you see this serious shit, you got to go, I don't know, man. All I know is Ron Paul's not buying it.

[1072] Ron Paul's not?

[1073] Ron Paul thinks that some...

[1074] He thinks that there would be ridiculous to attack those people with gas like that.

[1075] He thinks that somebody who wants to drag us into war did that.

[1076] Because that would be the reason why people would be willing to accept another.

[1077] war.

[1078] It would take something along those lines and to make it so big and so public, he said why would they do that?

[1079] You know, he said, I believe that it's a false flag.

[1080] When you hear a guy like Ron Paul say something like that?

[1081] Who would know?

[1082] You know?

[1083] I think Ron Paul might know.

[1084] God damn it, Brian.

[1085] Now you've got to be scared.

[1086] Did you see that video of that boulder falling down?

[1087] Yes.

[1088] Yeah, life is fucking terrifying.

[1089] That's ridiculous.

[1090] Where was this?

[1091] Japan?

[1092] It looks like it somewhere, yeah, but this kind of reminds me of like, you know, where you're driving in Malibu.

[1093] You know, you've driven that road.

[1094] And I guess you can see it, like, fall loose from the mountain right before it, like, there's suddenly a waterfall just starts or something.

[1095] Well, it absolutely can happen in Malibu, and it does.

[1096] Look at that.

[1097] Oh, Jesus Christ.

[1098] Oh, my God.

[1099] And look at this big fucking, oh, you almost died.

[1100] Oh, my God.

[1101] That is incredible.

[1102] That's so loony tunes It's so big And then they hit their hazards So polite Japanese I know Powerful polite Japanese people If that was an American They'd be going Fuck gun shit Fucking fucking fucking Wow this is crazy Boom And that could happen Any day Look at that Go on Malb Canyon Look at that car Almost got smushed Well Malibu Canyon Has been closed several times Since I've lived here Yeah I thought about living in Malibu before Malibu before fucking beautiful, man. It's so awesome.

[1103] You're out there on the mountain, overlooking the ocean.

[1104] It's so beautiful.

[1105] And the people there are chill.

[1106] There's something about being, like, right by the water, I think, that does something to a person.

[1107] All beach communities are chill, you know.

[1108] They like to have fun, relax.

[1109] It feels like a more enjoy life type of vibe.

[1110] I would love to do it.

[1111] But the problem with Malbu is, there's a bunch of crazy, rich people popping pills there.

[1112] Yeah.

[1113] Bringing their dog everywhere.

[1114] Like, they'll bring their dog into restaurants and shit.

[1115] And, like, kids in Malibu, like, if you want to raise your kids there, Malibu High, apparently, I hear there's, they have a few behavioral problems there with some of the substances.

[1116] Why, you should homeschool your kids, Joe.

[1117] You should bring them to the podcast and they'll learn every day, you know, just start off like, you know, maybe eight or seven.

[1118] And just bring them to the podcast every day, they'll be smarter than anybody in the road.

[1119] Well, what's a better idea is show them some OxyContin documentaries, very, very.

[1120] early in life, show them the Oxycontin Express, say, look, this is some shit you want to avoid.

[1121] And you're not even going to believe it's possible until you see someone smoking it in front of you.

[1122] You're not going to believe.

[1123] Like, no, there's no one stupid enough to smoke oxycontin at a party.

[1124] Oh, yes, there is.

[1125] And you're probably going to run into them.

[1126] I ran into people doing coke at parties.

[1127] I ran into, uh, of course, run into people smoking pot.

[1128] I've ran into people eating mushrooms.

[1129] I ran into people dropping acid at parties.

[1130] I'm ran into, like, basically almost anything except meth at parties.

[1131] I probably ran into people on meth.

[1132] I just didn't know they were on meth.

[1133] Absolutely.

[1134] Absolutely.

[1135] But that's the key.

[1136] You got to let them know.

[1137] Like, bring them around people that are fucked up.

[1138] Let them know.

[1139] Like, this is real.

[1140] Like, and you've got to listen to me because this really can take over your life.

[1141] This really can grab a hold of you and drag you right into a chemical hell that you can't get out of.

[1142] There's some shit that you can do that you can't undo.

[1143] You, with fucking cigarettes, man. You bum me out.

[1144] dude, I would hate to see you die like that, because it's going to happen if you keep going.

[1145] It's going to be there's a moment, whether it's 10 years from now or 20 years from now, and you're one of these put it off guys, like, oh, I'll quit before that, I'll quit before that, but you're taking like giant chunks off the end of your life.

[1146] You're taking giant chunks off your health, giant chunks off your ability for your lungs to function correctly.

[1147] And it's just because you're stuck, you're in this chemical web that you just can't get out of.

[1148] yeah it's pretty it's pretty amazing it's pretty amazing with those electronic cigarettes though man so many people are fucking smoking those things I told you Joey Diaz listen though the worst though is those these ain't shit these ain't shit I don't even want a regular cigarette dog this is just vapor is it what is the deal though we've been disputed about that we said that tobacco companies own those things yeah it is true maybe but most tobacco companies apparently trying to lobby against them because they're hurting cigarette sales.

[1149] Yeah, but what I say, the second largest one owns blue or whatever it was.

[1150] Could be.

[1151] The other one's like, get the fuck out of here with that.

[1152] Yeah, it's probably an old guy that owns like a company versus a new, you know, somebody that died from lung cancer and the sun just got the company.

[1153] It's like, no, we're investing in these robot cigarettes with the lights.

[1154] Well, apparently the cost effectiveness is an issue as well.

[1155] Like those things, they last for like a long.

[1156] time like a blue one of those cigarettes they're rechargeable yeah they're rechargeable and the amount of uh cigarette in them like is good for a long it's like two packs of cigarettes usually is that what it is some of these and now now you get those humongous hookah ones where it's pretty much like like a like a two -liter of that juice yeah and you just see these people sucking on it all day just smoke just non -stop coming out of their mouth bobby lee yeah Bobby lee PJ I don't know if you remember PJ yeah yeah Bobby Lee has one that's as big as a thermist Yeah, it's what PJ is.

[1157] It's insane.

[1158] And he just sucks on that thing all the time.

[1159] He's got stickers all over it.

[1160] Bobby has stickers all over that thing.

[1161] It's the new candy cigarette, man. The kids want them because they look cool because of the lights.

[1162] It's just another way to get people addicted to fucking cigarettes or putting things in their mouth.

[1163] Yeah, well, it's also just a nicotine distribution device.

[1164] When Marin was in here, we saw him eating that gum.

[1165] He eats that gum all day long, that Nicorette.

[1166] Right.

[1167] I guess that's okay, though.

[1168] They say that the nicorette gum actually is good if you're writing.

[1169] If you try that nicorette gum, it's actually stimulating for like your synapses and shit.

[1170] It's disgusting.

[1171] Is it?

[1172] Yeah.

[1173] It tastes like you're eating chemicals.

[1174] Marin ain't got no problem with it.

[1175] He loves that shit.

[1176] Chew, chew, chew.

[1177] Yeah, but he eats it like Big League chew style.

[1178] You're already supposed to have like one a couple of days.

[1179] Yeah, he's got them all in his mouth all day.

[1180] He goes, he's chain chewing.

[1181] Yeah.

[1182] Can you chain chew?

[1183] Of course you can.

[1184] How bad is that shit for you?

[1185] Do they know?

[1186] It's not that bad for you.

[1187] That's just, you know, because you're not supposed to eat it every day.

[1188] You're supposed to actually quit smoking.

[1189] They say nicotine, though, is actually like a supplement.

[1190] Nicotine itself, not only is it not bad for you?

[1191] It's the distribution device that fucks you up, the burning it and chemicals.

[1192] And those chemicals designed to enhance the addictive qualities of tobacco.

[1193] But they say that if you can get your nicotine in like a liquid form, it actually has positive health benefits.

[1194] Yeah, it's relaxing They say that's not true I believe you But it doesn't make me relax The only nicotine I ever get is In the form of cigars And it makes my fucking heart rush Well that's that you're taking in so much Nicotine Because it's like a cigarette times a million You get high as fuck Yeah and it's still you still get it And right when it hits your cheeks You're getting that smoke in your mouth People don't you know They don't want to admit that you you're getting high when you're smoking a cigar.

[1195] The reason why men like smoking cigars is not just to be stinky and to keep women away.

[1196] You know, it's not like bug spray for women.

[1197] No, it gets you high.

[1198] It gets you higher, like, crazy, too.

[1199] It's like you're doing bong hits of cigarettes, pretty much, is what you're doing.

[1200] What do you think about girls that smoke cigars?

[1201] Is that an odd thing?

[1202] Look at you.

[1203] You get out excited.

[1204] Dangerous cows.

[1205] Little, you know, untied tie, you know, like she was about to take it off.

[1206] Oh, wow.

[1207] A cigar, she takes your hat and puts it on.

[1208] Does she have glasses on?

[1209] She should, right?

[1210] Yeah, she should have glasses for sure.

[1211] She has glasses but no underwear.

[1212] She's a bad girl.

[1213] Very bad girl.

[1214] She's a bad girl.

[1215] Does she have garter belts on?

[1216] You know, she has one that she's about to pull off.

[1217] But yeah.

[1218] Okay, now you just got gay.

[1219] Yeah, she has one, he's about to pull off.

[1220] Women have all sorts of little things that they get to wear, to enhance, like, shoes that make their legs longer and fishnets.

[1221] men are pretty much resigned to clothes but women have clothes that will offer real sexual suggestion you know like those first of all women are allowed to wear sleeveless shirts pretty much everywhere we're like yeah yeah yeah no worries just you don't have to have sleeves take your sleeves off but if a man goes around with no sleeves if a man goes around with no sleeves that guy's a douchebag you know if a man walks around a tank top he's a meathead and a douchebag but women every day go sleeveless like you go to a normal office and women are sleeveless on a regular basis I fucking hate those white beater tank top things like jam band here for dudes jam band wears it all the time and it's like oh thanks now I can see a puff of armpit hair that's what you have a problem with man hair I don't need to see your little baby bushes yeah you're just not manly enough to handle it you're not manly enough for a tank top but it's it implies a douchey It's unavoidable at this point In our society When you wear tank tops You look dushy Even if you're trying not to It sucks, but it's unavoidable You know It's like you're trying a little too hard Just a wee bit too hard lad But women, shit They can wear tank tops everywhere This is a story about This very, very, very large crocodile That trapped the tourists for two weeks Yeah, I read about that It was He said it was Something like 18 feet long And every time he went out into the water It would pop up and start head towards him And he was like, fuck that And head back to shore 20?

[1222] Yep They just killed two of the biggest alligators They've ever killed in Mississippi They broke the world record The Mississippi, rather, record Twice in a day They cut two of them That were over 700 pounds Jesus You got to see the pictures of them Holy fucking shit They're giant You know you know the picture has the caption dinosaur also dinosaurs are real you know let you know like these are real animals these are gigantic lizards put that picture up oh shit man 27 minutes ago there was a 6 .5 earthquake in japan oh christ are you kidding me no fuck man 6 .5 dude where in japan is zoo islands east it's uh it's so scary if I can show you this If Fukushima gets hit again They're fucked And we're fucked too California's fucked This idea of putting together A fucking nuclear reactor Right by the ocean And not having a way to shut it off If the waves come over the top Of where you anticipated it What a shit idea It's amazing than anybody Ever let them do this And there's so many of these fucking things That are all over our coasts as well And I'm like Well these are better These are made better.

[1223] These are, we have fail -safees, fail -proof, safes, and make sure that this is not going to be a thing of concern.

[1224] What we have done is establish a series of protocols in a case of an emergency where we have to shut down the rear.

[1225] Bitch, if the shit hits the fan, the shit hits the fan, okay?

[1226] If a fucking asteroid slams in the middle of the ocean and a giant thousand -foot wave comes over and knocks that motherfucker down, rips all the fucking ground out underneath it, fucks up all the electrical system that's connecting all your cooling bullshit and just you have an unapproachable area now you have a fucking gigantic nuclear reactor that's melting down into the earth itself leaking in the ocean that's what they have in japan that fucking thing's leaking like billions of gallons of toxic water into the ocean they're showing an increase in the the level of radiation that are in fish it's just started that stuff is good for hundreds of thousands of years.

[1227] This is such a terrifying environmental disaster, and it's just happening.

[1228] And no one even knows what the fuck to do about it.

[1229] And I think it's, if the government really wants to act in Syria, you know, to protect us, why the fuck aren't they over there doing everything they can to stop this nuclear reactor from leaking into the ocean?

[1230] Why don't we put all our resources in that?

[1231] Yeah, all of them.

[1232] All of them.

[1233] Like literally everything.

[1234] to figure out all of our budget, everything.

[1235] You've got to save the planet.

[1236] Right now you've got something that's leaking toxic waste in the planet.

[1237] People say I'm exaggerating and not from what I looked at, from what I looked at online and actual tests, they've shown an increase, a measurable increase in the radioactive qualities of fish.

[1238] And they've showed that this toxic waste that's leaking is a significant disaster and it's not stopping.

[1239] I was talking, remember my friend Coco, you know, Tokyo.

[1240] And I was talking to this the other day.

[1241] I've been sending her news things, news reports of all the recent, you know, shit they're finding out.

[1242] And it was new to her.

[1243] She was like, and half the shit, she couldn't, it was blocked.

[1244] Like, she couldn't even look at these news stories from Tokyo.

[1245] She's like, what is it?

[1246] And so I'll send her screenshots.

[1247] And, like, she was like, oh, well.

[1248] They weren't getting this news?

[1249] She acted like they were not getting the news.

[1250] She had no idea about any of this.

[1251] And then she was, you know, it was so weird hearing her, you know, like we, you know, the old people.

[1252] built this country and we have to respect them and help them, you know, and stuff like how, and then finally I just kept on sending more and more and she's like, yeah, that sucks.

[1253] What am I supposed to do?

[1254] And I feel kind of bad because she's in there, you know, she's eating the fish every day.

[1255] She's breathing that, right?

[1256] She's getting what we're going to get next year and we're acting like this isn't a big asteroid that's flying towards Earth that's about to hit.

[1257] We were just like, oh, this sucks.

[1258] Look at these cute maps.

[1259] But like, we should be throwing space shuttles in the ocean or whatever we can do to figure out that quick.

[1260] Yeah, I don't know how they got to figure it out.

[1261] Yeah, one of the things they're talking about is building this gigantic $400 million ice wall.

[1262] Have you seen that?

[1263] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1264] Pull that up, building ice wall in Fukushima.

[1265] It's, uh, it seems like a Hail Mary, man. I don't know if it really works that way.

[1266] What if, though, what if, I mean, but isn't like Hawaii going to get this in six months?

[1267] Oh, yeah, they already got it.

[1268] Oh, they already got it?

[1269] Yeah, they already got it.

[1270] Hawaii without a doubt has got it.

[1271] some of the radiation.

[1272] No doubt.

[1273] If you look at the plume of radioactive waste that's coming off of it.

[1274] Japan has spent over $300 million on ice wall to isolate Fukushima water leaks.

[1275] I've seen it here, it says on the BBC, it says 470 million.

[1276] It said Japan has pledged $470 million for this ice wall.

[1277] Who gives a fuck how much it is?

[1278] It's a crazy idea.

[1279] It sounds like science fiction, a massive understatement.

[1280] underground wall of ice so cold, so strong, it stops hundreds of tons of radioactive water seeping out of Fukushima power plant tanks and into the Pacific?

[1281] This is no movie.

[1282] It is a $320 million emergency plan announced today by the Japanese government.

[1283] Here's how it would work.

[1284] An above -ground refrigerator chills a coolant to minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit.

[1285] That icy liquid gets pumped into steel pipes dug below the crippled plant.

[1286] Just like a kitchen freezer, everything around those pipes also freezes, a giant wall of ice forms stretching nearly a mile long and nearly 10 stories below ground, about the height of the Lincoln Memorial.

[1287] Some scientists say this may just be a short -term fix, but something has to be done soon before there's even greater damage to the environment and Japan's economy.

[1288] It might not be as much radioactivity as Chernobyl, but for the ocean, it's unprecedented as an accidental source.

[1289] You've never seen this much radiation coming out of a reactor site directly into the ocean.

[1290] But there has been nothing like the size and scope of the wall to come for Fukushima, where radiation levels are a staggering 18 times higher than previously thought, enough to kill a person after just four hours of exposure.

[1291] So what does this mean for the fish that makes its way to U .S. waters from Japan?

[1292] So far, science.

[1293] That's fucked up.

[1294] Well, listen to that.

[1295] Not found any unsafe levels of radiation.

[1296] But with these continued leaks, Scientists say will come an increasingly sharper look at the fish we eat and the waters they swim in.

[1297] Cecilia Vega, ABC News, Los Angeles.

[1298] Wow.

[1299] Fuck.

[1300] I mean, so Colorado or Texas?

[1301] Colorado.

[1302] Well, no, Texas.

[1303] No, Texas.

[1304] Yes, 100 % Texas.

[1305] Colorado's high.

[1306] Austin, yeah, but Texas has got the most protection of any state.

[1307] Gun -wise?

[1308] Yeah.

[1309] That's not what you need to worry about.

[1310] It's like being in a base compared to.

[1311] too.

[1312] I don't know, man. I feel like there's a lot of secrets in Denver, like underground missiles and stuff like that, and I think that's going to be a target.

[1313] Oh, you silly bitch.

[1314] You don't think so?

[1315] No, no, I don't think so.

[1316] I don't think anybody's targeting Denver.

[1317] I think that's this wacko conspiracy theory.

[1318] I think they just built a really sophisticated airport with a lot of tunnels in it.

[1319] I'm done with snow.

[1320] I can't do it.

[1321] So maybe Austin in winter and...

[1322] I think I could do the winter in Boulder.

[1323] I really do.

[1324] Or evergreen or any of those mountain towns.

[1325] I think I can do it.

[1326] I think you just got to just change how you look at life.

[1327] I think the winter just becomes a different thing.

[1328] Austin food versus Houston, you know, or Austin food versus Denver food, Austin women versus Denver women.

[1329] That's for you.

[1330] Real estate versus Denver real estate.

[1331] No, real estate's pretty commensurate.

[1332] Anytime I can use the word commensurate, I do.

[1333] I think it's pretty similar.

[1334] You know, I mean, they're both, they're both desirable.

[1335] places to live.

[1336] We need to get as close as Alex Jones as possible, too.

[1337] Hmm, that's important.

[1338] Maybe we could have a show on the Alex Jones network.

[1339] We can move to Austin.

[1340] We don't need to get our own studio.

[1341] We just take over at night.

[1342] That'd be awesome.

[1343] Who totally let us do, I'm sure.

[1344] Yeah, people think that I don't like him because I goof on him.

[1345] But I just goof on him because I can do his voice.

[1346] He's our buddy.

[1347] We love that guy.

[1348] I actually legitimately hang around with Alex Jones.

[1349] Like, legitimately.

[1350] I'm not bullshitting.

[1351] I'm not I'm not trolling.

[1352] He's a great guy.

[1353] It's a fun guy to party with.

[1354] He's hilarious.

[1355] He says a lot of funny shit.

[1356] And he's exposed me to a lot of stuff.

[1357] That's the old school green room, man. They fucked up when they taped over that and painted it.

[1358] Yeah, they repainted the whole thing.

[1359] I don't know why they did that.

[1360] I don't know why they did that.

[1361] So the drug dealers own the prisons.

[1362] You've seen this right.

[1363] The criminals go rob houses to get the money for the drugs.

[1364] Is Alex Jones freaking you out?

[1365] Does he have the documents, but black helicopters Kim Trails and Tower 7 went down?

[1366] Then you need.

[1367] Alex Jones.

[1368] Barka.

[1369] Alex Jones.

[1370] Spark a part in a cup.

[1371] Alex Jones.

[1372] Look at the bad app.

[1373] Ah, ha, ha, ha.

[1374] You're so.

[1375] Come on.

[1376] Don't try it again.

[1377] I want to live right next to Alex Jones.

[1378] I want to hang out with Alex Jones every single day.

[1379] Well, we could do that if we relocated to Texas.

[1380] I'd have to convince Mrs. Rogan.

[1381] The only problem with Texas is Austin is badass, Houston's badass, Dallas is badass.

[1382] But damn, there's some spooky spots in the middle.

[1383] There's some spooky drive -through areas.

[1384] Where you get out, you get out and just take a right and go straight, and then get out and start talking to people.

[1385] And you're in a goddamn Texas chainsaw massacre movie.

[1386] Same shit here, though.

[1387] You go up, you're in Compton.

[1388] You go up, you're in the fucking farm in the middle of California, where there's fucking incest That's a good point It is a good point Especially about the middle of The California spots We're driving up to San Francisco Those farms with the Republican Sayings on the signs To see drivers We're gonna educate these people right here Fucking put up a sign Yeah You know Do you really want Obama as your president Do you really think he was born In the United States?

[1389] Like there's a whole series of them When Mitt Romney was running for president they were hilarious.

[1390] They were so stupid.

[1391] It might as well be Kentucky.

[1392] Nothing wrong with Kentucky if you live there and love it.

[1393] I love Kentucky.

[1394] Let's be honest.

[1395] Kentucky's nice, man. Tennessee's nice.

[1396] Louisville's nice.

[1397] West Virginia, I'm okay with that.

[1398] The Louisville Improv was fucking badass.

[1399] That was a great place to work at.

[1400] It was really fun.

[1401] Love that place.

[1402] But look, the reality is the world's changing.

[1403] And all those places that sucked 20, 30 years ago, they suck less now if people have internet.

[1404] it.

[1405] They just do.

[1406] People are getting thing.

[1407] A kids, high school kids are getting it more than they've ever been.

[1408] They'll be exposed to more ideas than they've ever been before.

[1409] It's less, it sucks less to live somewhere that sucks now than in any other time in human history.

[1410] That said, Texas is still illegal weed.

[1411] Gestapo -like police tactics.

[1412] Has there been any updates with the weed?

[1413] They arrested Willie Nelson and they arrested what's her name, the fucking shadow dancer.

[1414] What hell's her name?

[1415] Fiona Apple.

[1416] Oh, she's so hot.

[1417] I gave her my seat on a plane once.

[1418] Yeah.

[1419] It was her.

[1420] She wanted to sit next to her sister.

[1421] She asked this lady to do it.

[1422] The lady wouldn't move.

[1423] She goes, no, this is my seat.

[1424] It's like, whoa, snap.

[1425] And I was right behind, so I swapped.

[1426] Was it after you first did?

[1427] Right here?

[1428] You can sit on my lap.

[1429] Oh, how dare you?

[1430] I cleared off a place on my face for her to sit.

[1431] Matt, you're going to be a in Texas soon, or did you already do that?

[1432] No, yeah, I'm going to be in Houston.

[1433] Lucky, son of.

[1434] That's October 18th.

[1435] Ye fucking ha.

[1436] Just one night, though.

[1437] Yeah, just one night.

[1438] It's the night before the UFC.

[1439] There's a UFC in Houston.

[1440] You haven't been done the Austin like, do the comedy club.

[1441] Maybe.

[1442] Well, the problem is I do the theater, like Austin City Live.

[1443] That's like 2 ,000 scenes.

[1444] Yeah, but you know, it's more fun.

[1445] Yeah, but it's harder for me to do that with kids.

[1446] It's harder for me to get away for full weekends.

[1447] He bums you out, man, when a three -year -old tells you they miss you, like, oof, that's hard, man. Duck tape, man. Nothing changes it more.

[1448] That's a joke.

[1449] It was a bad one.

[1450] Nothing changes it more than little babies.

[1451] Yeah, but with the adventures of iPads and stuff, you can...

[1452] It's not the same, dude.

[1453] It's not the same.

[1454] They miss you.

[1455] They want to hug you.

[1456] It becomes a real bummer.

[1457] Like you get, you gotta, I just got to optimize my time.

[1458] I don't like, like, the problem, I like doing some comedy club weekends, but it's all about, like, if I, if it's a UFC weekend, what the easiest thing about it is I get to do both.

[1459] I can do comedy one night and then I do the UFC the next night.

[1460] If I'm going to do, like, Cab City, like Cap City, I would do like Friday, Saturday, Sunday, or Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

[1461] It's a lot of days.

[1462] You get the same amount of people in there.

[1463] Yeah, there's a lot of benefits to it.

[1464] The big benefit is that your act becomes bulletproof.

[1465] after like five shows you know because you do a lot of shows like that's the best way to tighten up for a comedy special do a lot of like two 300 seat clubs like everything just gets so tight it gets so like you just know the timing it just gets razor sharp yeah by the way a tip I think I don't know if you agree with me is that if you're always looking at a weekend of like you know a comic always go for the Sunday one show Sunday it's like an 8 o 'clock show because not only is there usually a longer show because there's not a second show after it, but it's also the most perfected show, I think.

[1466] You know, like you're saying, you're there Friday.

[1467] Oh, you mean if you're going to see a show?

[1468] Yeah, yeah.

[1469] With the stage, you're comfortable with the stage and stuff.

[1470] Sometimes the energy is different, though.

[1471] Sometimes the energy of people on a Sunday night, they're a little bit more laid back, whereas they're, like, hyped up on Friday and Saturday.

[1472] True.

[1473] Part of the going to a comedy club is also people around you laughing hard.

[1474] That's a weird thing about comedies, and it's very contagious.

[1475] But that's the thing about having, a giant crowd as opposed to having a small crowd when a crowd is literally 10 times larger than the average crowd like a 3 ,000 cedar that even you have to be like first of all you have to be really on top of the timing of the thing so they have to really understand like you have to know when to talk and when to let them laugh because they might not be able to hear you as clearly because there's so many people and then you also got to realize that like the contagious element of it is not as strong the contagious element of like a comedy club is incredibly infectious like you're on top of each other.

[1476] It's a low ceiling and the laughter's ringing out.

[1477] It's like, ah!

[1478] It just, it literally like takes over your body.

[1479] It's like a better experience.

[1480] But you can't get as many people into a place.

[1481] Yeah.

[1482] But some people, their style is better suited for a big crowd.

[1483] Some people have a different style.

[1484] They have like a bigger, broader style.

[1485] And that style does not do well in an intimate environment.

[1486] You know, that's interesting too.

[1487] I just think it feels better.

[1488] Like when you're on a big stage, it's amazing, you know, how many people are there, but you're kind of like yelling out into this empty blackness, you know, where like if you're at a comedy club, you feel like you can like see faces and a feel, it's just a whole feeling of, you know, you can feel everybody's smile almost at you or frown.

[1489] Yeah.

[1490] You know what I mean?

[1491] Totally.

[1492] Well, you can all, like a place like the ice house, you can basically see everybody's face.

[1493] Yeah.

[1494] The entire club, everybody who's there, you can see their face.

[1495] You know, when you're at a place like the place I just did in Milwaukee, the Papps Theater, You can't see shit.

[1496] Yeah, you're just like, hi.

[1497] Yeah, this is the video of me going on stage.

[1498] You can't see shit.

[1499] You have a giant spotlight in your face.

[1500] There's three rows, three levels, the mid -level and upper level.

[1501] You can't see shit.

[1502] You see a little bit.

[1503] It's not the same intimate thing.

[1504] But we're so lucky, like, the crowds come to see us are so fucking nice that I've seen some of those big shows for other people go off the rails if they have rude audience members.

[1505] Dave Chappelle.

[1506] Yeah, I saw that, man. That went completely off the rails.

[1507] I don't know what happened.

[1508] I wasn't there to see the actual off the rail.

[1509] I just saw the videos.

[1510] The videos seemed to pick it up, like sort of halfway into being off the rails.

[1511] Brody's been opening up for him.

[1512] Every show, he's been on the right of you.

[1513] That's probably the problem.

[1514] He's hanging out with Brody's going crazy.

[1515] There's a thing called...

[1516] What is it called?

[1517] Alaphrenia?

[1518] Yeah, I think it's called alifrania.

[1519] And the idea is that if you have schizophrenia and I hang around with you, I start developing like weird symptoms and they bring me in for treatment because they bring me in for you know examination because they think that I develop schizophrenia from hanging out with schizophrenic that's really possible.

[1520] Really?

[1521] Yes.

[1522] Yeah.

[1523] It's a real disease.

[1524] Here I'll Google it.

[1525] Wow.

[1526] You know I was reading some shit the other day because people were saying that I am starting to look like you and there was like this like I forget where it was but like this thread that was like 20 pages long and there was breaking it down to the like no there's actually this thing where you hang out with people enough, you start not realizing you're mimicking like muscles in your face to kind of, uh, to, to copy them kind of like that.

[1527] And the more you do it, the more your actual face structure changes into, uh, looking more and more like the person.

[1528] That's why like married couples start, you know, when they get older, they start kind of looking alike and stuff like that.

[1529] And it was interesting.

[1530] I don't know if it's real or not, but it's interesting.

[1531] I would like to figure that out more.

[1532] Yeah, that is interesting.

[1533] I know that women, when they're around each other for a long time, they will change certain things, like their periods get in sync, which is really freaky.

[1534] Yeah.

[1535] Kind of keep you can't find this allophania.

[1536] Do you guys have the same period?

[1537] But periods, yeah.

[1538] This says less than normal mental development.

[1539] So this is, I'm looking at the wrong thing.

[1540] It's oligophania.

[1541] Allo.

[1542] Let's see here.

[1543] I can't find it.

[1544] Alphrania except.

[1545] Okay.

[1546] I can't find it.

[1547] And if I keep looking like this, it's just going to eat up a lot of time and people are going to be like, you know what, dude, I don't like listening to podcasts where people just fucking eat up time looking for the definition of alofrania.

[1548] Alphrenia.

[1549] I don't know if that fucking wall of ice is going to work out, but I'm worried about that and I'm worried about moving somewhere, and I'm not joking.

[1550] Because I think that if the shit does hit the fan, everyone's going to be looking at it like sort of last minute going, holy shit, where do we go?

[1551] But if this fails and it becomes like a real issue, like the water's being toxic and thyroid cancer and all sorts of things that go along with radioactive poisoning, and we have that issue.

[1552] How long would it take to evacuate the West Coast?

[1553] I mean, Jesus.

[1554] You know how fucking crazy that would be if they have to evacuate the West Coast?

[1555] Yeah, I mean, well, they would start with Japan first, I would hope.

[1556] But the thing is, is that is this something that people thought in the 60s?

[1557] You know, is this something that everyone's panicking or reading news reports that are, you know, like, we have Neil DeGrasi Tyson and here's like, everything's fine.

[1558] No, I don't think you would say anything's fine.

[1559] This is, I mean, these are mainstream news reports.

[1560] This is the BBC.

[1561] Yeah.

[1562] This is talking about this Fukushima ice wall.

[1563] I mean, this is not, I think it's pretty much across the board, uniformly agreed that this is a real issue.

[1564] Obviously, it's a real issue.

[1565] I mean, they said you could die in four hours if you're there.

[1566] It just seems weird that the planet isn't capable of just taking that out.

[1567] Well, it is.

[1568] The problem is the problem is that people live on the planet.

[1569] Yeah, it'll poison the environment for a few hundred thousand years.

[1570] But what we don't understand is for a few hundred thousand years for the planet ain't shit.

[1571] It doesn't matter.

[1572] The planet doesn't care.

[1573] The dinosaurs are 65 million years ago.

[1574] The planet's still here and fine.

[1575] Long after the dinosaurs are dead.

[1576] Yeah, it's got a new thing running things.

[1577] And the new thing is fucking things up by digging holes and pulling.

[1578] out oil and putting up these plants that split atoms and sometimes they go bad and poison the entire ocean and but 200 years to the ocean ain't shit it's just to us that sucks it's to us we could poison every person on this planet and the earth would eventually write itself and some new life form would emerge and that would happen and it may happen it may happen just how the dinosaurs did it it may be a pandemic virus it may be a virus from space that's also a possibility it may be something that someone brings back from space it may be something that came in an asteroid like that movie the thing you know that's possible it's not probable but it's possible it's also possible an asteroid can hit and just annihilate the planet just like has happened many times in the past 65 million years ago 12 ,500 years ago 100 million years before that there's been a gang of those they've happened more than once giant fucking rocks come in and boom that could easily fuck the whole party up so that could easily make it so it doesn't matter if you clean up the ocean doesn't matter there's a big rock coming just open your window stick your ass out and take a shit okay because you had two weeks left and this giant rock's going to hit everything it doesn't matter if there's a gigantic pyramid of shit out your bedroom window it really doesn't matter you're going to die everything's going to be rewritten the entire process is going to start anew that'd be awesome if they have to like really take everyone out of Japan and so like why would that be on the United States offers you're like hey we'll take all the women out of nowhere it's just like the craziest Asian population that'd be cool I think if Japan needs to be evacuated we have to evacuate California too dude yeah I think it's probably going to be a New York straight of mine I think Denver's not far enough away from the ocean I don't know if anything's far off away I don't know if Texas This is far enough away.

[1579] It's a different kind of ocean, though, right?

[1580] For the most part, it's pretty tucked in and blocked by the whole whatever.

[1581] Yeah, I mean, it's a different sea that's affecting you.

[1582] But that one's all fucked up, too.

[1583] That one's all fucked up from the BP oil spill.

[1584] But it's warmer.

[1585] Dude.

[1586] Yeah, it's warmer.

[1587] It's also connected to Mexico.

[1588] There's people sneaking across every day.

[1589] Try living right outside of Juarez.

[1590] Good luck with that.

[1591] You might as well be living next to the most day.

[1592] dangerous spot in the world.

[1593] Oh, guess what?

[1594] You are.

[1595] You are living right next door to the most dangerous spot in the world.

[1596] War is a super dangerous.

[1597] And it's just a wall, just a wall over there across the river in the Rio Grande.

[1598] That's why you're protected in Austin.

[1599] You're not protected.

[1600] That's just a few hours drive.

[1601] Everyone's fucking got guns and shit.

[1602] Yeah, some people have guns, but you don't.

[1603] So what difference is it make?

[1604] Going to go over someone's house, hey man, let me use your gun.

[1605] They're going to shoot you.

[1606] No, I'll be dating a girl that has a gun.

[1607] Oh, there you go.

[1608] You're going to be taken care of by a woman.

[1609] You're just the opposite of the Huffington Post story.

[1610] You get underneath the bed, Brian.

[1611] I'm going to take care of these jiggers for you.

[1612] Oh, dude.

[1613] What is a jigger?

[1614] What is a jigger?

[1615] What are you talking about?

[1616] I don't know.

[1617] It seems like it's like a racial slur.

[1618] Jiggers.

[1619] Doesn't it sound like an old thing?

[1620] No. You are retarded, dude.

[1621] You're going too far.

[1622] No, that wasn't supposed to be racist.

[1623] It is, though.

[1624] It seems like a twang word is what it's time.

[1625] No, it doesn't.

[1626] It seems like you're saying nigger with a jay.

[1627] That's what it seems like, dummy.

[1628] How dare you It's probably Well it's a term for fishing You jig for fish So like if this If this does really become a problem Would you ever move to New York?

[1629] Fuck no That might be the spot to move to Quite realistically though That might be the spot to move to Yeah hell I'd rather go to Canada I'll be up in Canada See you later Canada's not a bad idea But the problem with Canada Is the west coast of Canada is where it's warm so you'd want to live there and that is right by the ocean so that's just as bad as living in Alaska just as bad as living in Washington the ocean's bad the idea is that if if all this really plays out and people start getting cancer start getting really sick it's you know it's everything by the ocean you got to get the fuck away from the ocean you know that's a real possibility this is I mean we're talking like it's nonsense like this is like almost like a story.

[1630] No, we have to do this soon.

[1631] Like a year, Joe.

[1632] This is when it's supposed to hit L .A. We're pretty much have a slow -moving asteroid coming to us, and we have to figure out if we want to just enjoy the asteroids, you know, and have shitty babies.

[1633] No, we're going to fix it.

[1634] We're going to fix it all.

[1635] It's amazing that, like, Malibu could be a poison within a decade.

[1636] Like, if this motherfucker keeps leaking and the plume keeps just going across the ocean and heading towards Malibu, like, people are saying it could be a mass extinction event.

[1637] Right now there's people going, what you're doing is fear mongering.

[1638] You don't know enough to be.

[1639] You're right.

[1640] I don't know enough.

[1641] But the scary, scary story that I read online is it could be a mass extinction event.

[1642] Worst case scenario.

[1643] Let's Google worst case scenario for Fukushima.

[1644] I think it would be more like a slow moving extinction, like meaning like you have to get out of Japan or you're going to die.

[1645] There's going to be all these like respect, like this is our country.

[1646] I'm going to stay here.

[1647] and then they're going to slowly die from health problems, but, and they're...

[1648] Okay.

[1649] This is what I said.

[1650] I said, what is the worst case scenario, right?

[1651] So I go to Telegraph.

[1652] Is that a legitimate site in the UK?

[1653] I think it's...

[1654] Actually, I don't think...

[1655] I don't know.

[1656] It seems like I want to say it's like an inquire...

[1657] Okay, well, all these websites are saying the worst case scenario has already happened.

[1658] Scientific American.

[1659] Okay, that's a legit website, right?

[1660] RT, some say RT News, National Geographic .com, okay?

[1661] National Geographic is saying that it's, oh, it's actually saying it's far from the worst case scenario for a nuclear plant.

[1662] Wait a second, we haven't even, like it's probably worse now with this earthquake.

[1663] Yeah, oh, no doubt about it.

[1664] We might only have, like, a week, Joe.

[1665] Like, people outside are probably running.

[1666] Yeah, they're running across the ocean right now because the ocean's hard.

[1667] The rating sounds ominous to be sure, but it's real meaning and the significance of the Japanese official decision to make a more dire assessment of the crisis are, like many other ramifications, of the ongoing crisis of Fukushima, frustratingly unclear.

[1668] In some respects, it's not that big of an issue, what they call it, explained David Lockbaum, a veteran nuclear engineer who works as a safety advocate for the Union of Concerned Scientists.

[1669] He says, it's still the same mess.

[1670] why the rating now workers for the Tokyo Power Company which operates the plant discovered on the 19th of August that 300 tons, 72 ,000 gallons of highly radioactive water apparently had escaped from a holding tank into the ground over the previous month.

[1671] The water had been used to cool one of Fukushima's damaged reactors and in the wake of the 2011 earthquake and tsunami that caused one of the worst nuclear accidents in history.

[1672] Scientists taken from containment area showed it to be so heavily contaminated with stronium 90 and Celsius and radioactive substances that a person standing less than two feet away would receive in an hour's time a radiation dose equivalent to five times the acceptable exposure for nuclear workers.

[1673] Within 10 hours, an exposed person would develop radiation sickness with symptoms such as nausea and a drop in white blood cells.

[1674] But that other thing said that this might be less recent because the other thing said that four hours, the thing that we looked at said in four hours, you could die.

[1675] Right.

[1676] So it was saying that it must be several times stronger than the previous assessment, which this must be based on.

[1677] Which is like, that's really dire.

[1678] Like, we have to recognize that this is something that we really need to consider because it seems like a plot in a movie.

[1679] It seems like something that's playing, out on TV, just like Syria, just like Egypt.

[1680] It seems like something that's on TV.

[1681] Fuck, man. So, my vote, Texas.

[1682] Even though they have, like, I think three or four nuclear plants in Texas.

[1683] Yeah, but there's a lot of dummies in Texas, too, man. There's a lot of really cool people, too, though.

[1684] Like, the reality of Austin is an island of awesome people.

[1685] Yeah.

[1686] They have great food.

[1687] Houston's awesome.

[1688] It's just humid, you know?

[1689] I love Houston.

[1690] Houston has some good spots.

[1691] I think what's really cool about Austin is that it has a great art scene It's got a great music scene A lot of funny comics have come out of Austin It's got a couple great comedy clubs Small Club Was it that Velvita Room?

[1692] That's their small place Yeah They have a bunch of little satellite gigs You could do if you live in town You could actually work in Austin You can get some work done As a comic So you would not You're never going to go back to Japan obviously.

[1693] Nope.

[1694] Nope.

[1695] Nope.

[1696] Nope.

[1697] That's it.

[1698] Is UFC going to ever get back there?

[1699] I don't know.

[1700] I hope if they do, everybody's safe.

[1701] But it seems to me that that is a risk that's unnecessary at this point.

[1702] I feel like they have to do something about that.

[1703] Because what if you were there and then the earthquake hit?

[1704] So say if you land and as you're landing, you're watching the runway ripple.

[1705] Hide inside of an age.

[1706] Don -d -d -d -d -d -don -don -don.

[1707] So you skid to a stop, you get out, and you're involved in the biggest earthquake and recorded history.

[1708] And then Fukushima spouts like a volcano into the sky.

[1709] Now all the reactors are not only blown and it creates some new reactor of its own deep in the bowels of the earth and it mixes with lava.

[1710] Now I'm in my son I'm just making shit up.

[1711] It doesn't work like that asshole.

[1712] Yeah, imagine if like radio or nuclear reactors, rather, if when they went bad, they exploded.

[1713] They just shot fire into the sky, like a big zit.

[1714] instead of just leaking into the earth, fucking everything around them.

[1715] We need to do this quick, though.

[1716] Like, seriously.

[1717] We need to definitely consider it.

[1718] We should consider it.

[1719] Like, when people talk about being preppers, that's not going to do you any good if this is a real issue.

[1720] I can imagine if California had to get up and leave and what would be in the next California?

[1721] Like, Oklahoma's the new California?

[1722] No. It'd be a real problem for resources, man. It would be a real poverty problem for a long, fucking time.

[1723] because there's a lot of people that are not equipped to just pack up and move their stuff.

[1724] There's a lot of people, you know, they need the job they have here, they don't have a savings, they don't have food, and if they have to move to a new place, they don't have rent money, there's not enough apartments or houses for people.

[1725] You know, you couldn't just take everyone on the West Coast.

[1726] The West Coast is probably California, like Los Angeles, San Francisco, just those two alone, have to have 30 million people, right?

[1727] If you had a guess.

[1728] Okay, let's see.

[1729] What's the population of California?

[1730] Population.

[1731] I don't know what this is from, but somebody posted this on the forums.

[1732] U .S. Navy Map of Future America, blue shows where the coastlines would be.

[1733] Did you see this?

[1734] What is that?

[1735] Supposedly is a U .S. Navy map of future America.

[1736] Says who?

[1737] U .S. Navy.

[1738] Please.

[1739] Says who, though?

[1740] Like, click on, like, does it have, like, a source?

[1741] No. Google U .S. Navy map.

[1742] of that's like a there's an old bill hex joke about California or Arizona Bay that's one of his one of his albums was titled that yeah okay the population is wow ready for this 2012 38 million 41 ,430 fuck that's a lot of people how are they going to go that's like a whole country full of people 38 million folks and they'd all have to get out and on top of that You'd have to get rid of all the people in Oregon You'd have to get rid of all the people in Washington State You'd have to get rid of all the people in Alaska Because they're going to take it It's all going to go up by them first Everybody's fucked Boy, we spreaders of doom and gloom With zero science I apologize, folks I don't know if I'm right or wrong But I know that it scares a shit out of me I don't even know if it should scare the shit out of me A lot of people are saying that map's fake Of course that map's fake God damn it the fuck does the Navy know the geologists don't it says Navy it's got to be right our boys wouldn't lie to us when they're out there butt fucking on a submergeable boat they wouldn't lie to us about the future contours of the United States Jesus Captain did you really do that your instincts were so bad so have you been looking at any of the leaks of what Apple's about to announce on September 10th no it was going to be another phone whoa like the blueprint thumbprint skin.

[1743] Yeah, but it's no bigger.

[1744] It's not bigger.

[1745] Yeah.

[1746] They fucked up.

[1747] They fucked up, okay?

[1748] They went a bigger stuff.

[1749] Samsung got them by the dick.

[1750] They got them by the dick with that giant -ass phone.

[1751] That dies in like three seconds.

[1752] Doesn't die in three seconds.

[1753] The battery life is good.

[1754] The battery life for that Galaxy S -4 is supposed to be very good.

[1755] The number one problem with the Galaxy S -4 seems to be people are upset with provider software.

[1756] The shit that you get when you get it, like if you get it from 18 -T or whoever, They add a bunch of stupid shit Easy for who Maybe easy for you Dumbies like me don't want to do that They just want to pick up a phone and go with it That's why the iPhone is perfect But they're fucking up with these little flimsy ass screens I see people with that Galaxy S4 And I get all drooly You see the note Note 3 son bigger Is that out yet?

[1757] I think it comes out real soon Let's say Galaxy Note 3 Yeah the girl I've been hanging out with lately Has a note and I'm always so jealous of it Because they're at the camera Sure it's not an etcher sketch Sure she's not three The camera is the best on the note, too.

[1758] I don't know if you've ever seen the camera.

[1759] It's great.

[1760] Yeah, it's amazing.

[1761] Okay, so it says U .S. release date breakdown.

[1762] It says the launch date arrives tomorrow, and that was today.

[1763] So tomorrow, and they'll know quite a bit about the new one, but they're saying that it's going to be 5 .68 inches.

[1764] Jesus Christ.

[1765] Oh, ready for this?

[1766] It can record in that.

[1767] Oh, 4K?

[1768] Yes.

[1769] The new note?

[1770] Yes.

[1771] Oh, snap.

[1772] Let's get some...

[1773] Yeah, we have the new 4K TV here that's been just playing puppies and Asians and 4K.

[1774] Yeah, let me pull this up and make sure that that's correct, but I'm pretty sure it is.

[1775] If that's true, I'm buying one today.

[1776] I'm pretty sure it records in a very high -definition video.

[1777] Some signals...

[1778] Let me see what it says here.

[1779] There's always a pre -order.

[1780] Okay, let me see Galaxy Note 3 video Oh my god, they have Is Ting still a sponsor here?

[1781] No, sometimes Okay, well I was just saying They have the Galaxy S4 purple I didn't know they made a purple phone What does it mean?

[1782] It's a purple phone It's just purple, that's it's it's just purple, that's it's Are you, what do you print?

[1783] I like purple, man I'm into pink and purple right now Good for you, sexy You don't like pink or purple?

[1784] Nothing wrong with it, I said you were sexy It's not one of the greatest things You could say about a person?

[1785] Do you ever wear a pink shirt?

[1786] Yeah, sure I would I'm mailing as fuck son I wear a fanny pack You think I'd be afraid of paint I don't know Okay let's see where the video HD Let's see what it says here Full HD screen Ultra HD 4K 4K video Yeah That's incredible On a phone We can make videos for this TV Yeah 4K on your phone And there's videos of it where it's been leaked the size of this thing it's a pet tablet it's a fucking tablet the thing's giant is it on like verizon or anything it's gonna be it's gonna be on everybody apparently no i wonder if it's on right now it comes out today you said no it comes out tomorrow oh tonight at midnight you're gonna be out there like a dork with a camp no camp set up unless tinge add the cooler in your dog i'm happy with my iPhone i just where's your fucking dog did you get rid of that thing yet no it's it's packed it away no no no it's at home no it's at home you don't talk about it anymore i i used to be your pride and joy i love her bored with it i love her i just uh i can't i don't want to bring her here to she's a little distracting yeah she takes giant chits on the floor well she doesn't pisses on poor jammy when he's trying to work she pees on a mat like the peepad which is also great for if you're fucking a squirder or a grown up oh shut the fuck up disgusting bastards saw lany at the pet store yesterday the cutest dog.

[1787] It was a...

[1788] She has my dog?

[1789] No, the cutest dog.

[1790] That's my dog.

[1791] It was a American bulldog puppy.

[1792] Oh, so adorable.

[1793] It was so adorable.

[1794] It was like 11 months old and it was really small.

[1795] It wasn't going to get much bigger.

[1796] It was just the cutest friendliest little white dog.

[1797] So beautiful.

[1798] It's a weird thing that puppies are so beautiful.

[1799] We're so strange with animals.

[1800] We have these animals that we sanction and then other ones that we don't.

[1801] And sometimes we sanctioned them, Like you're allowed to have a pet pig Or some people have pet deer Yeah You know That girl I'm hanging out with that She has a pet pig And a pet deer What?

[1802] And two of those Three of those Uh, three of those cats The big giant real cats Is she live in an apartment in Hollywood It was pet deer And she's in the desert She's a really She's a desert rat She has a Great place in the desert Yeah they have the best meth out there That's where you want to go If you want to be close to the meth You don't want to be hiding In the city Because then you have to like It has to go And get to strip You want to get it out there fresh from the source.

[1803] That's where the meth farmers are.

[1804] They're out there, like, in between Bakersfield and San Francisco.

[1805] Oh, man, now you got me freaking out about this note.

[1806] They don't have it yet on a very reason.

[1807] Well, it's going to come out.

[1808] They're going to announce where it's going to be out tomorrow, but it does look pretty delicious.

[1809] But Chris Ryan just got on Ting.

[1810] So many people that we recommended Ting with came back and said that it's...

[1811] I love my tin.

[1812] They're so happy about it.

[1813] They saved money.

[1814] assist the signal's great.

[1815] People say that that sprint signal is fucking good, man. It's good.

[1816] I never have problems with someone like that Tink phone.

[1817] I have problems with the actual Galaxy S3 just always dying, but...

[1818] The battery life?

[1819] Yeah.

[1820] It seems like that just sucks it right out.

[1821] Four is quite a bit better, apparently.

[1822] Four is supposed to be a masterpiece.

[1823] I have that HTC1 that I got from my friend at Google.

[1824] Yeah.

[1825] It's in my bag here.

[1826] And it's pretty slick.

[1827] The thing I like about the HTC1, first.

[1828] of all is the way it looks they built it like an iPhone like it's a complete solid one piece apparently Verizon has this too that's the music one right where it's got the speakers built into it yeah it's the sweetest thing of all time when it comes to that that's badass it's also a speaker here that one that you're hanging on to is made for AT &T and AT &T you can basically suck it I've done you before I don't trust you every time I drive around Hollywood with that thing it fucking cuts out it just does AT &T just cuts out everywhere it doesn't matter if your signal is if you have a better antenna or a better cell phone it's just not as good as Verizon in my opinion well this screen is nice and everything I just you know I just can't get over the software software that's the clearest the cleanest one what you're holding on to right there is the Google version that's the one that comes straight from Google Play oh yeah that doesn't have any bullshit on it that's an unlocked phone that's awesome so that phone can go to any GSM provider.

[1829] And what people who don't know about these phones, there's a GSM and CDMA.

[1830] CDMA is Verizon and it's also Sprint.

[1831] And GSM is essentially worldwide.

[1832] There's very few countries that I've ever been to other than Canada that have a CDMA signal.

[1833] Most of Europe is on GSM.

[1834] Like England, when you go to England, they're all on that.

[1835] Japan is all on that.

[1836] They're all on a different version of cell phone.

[1837] But most of these new phones, they're like the nice GSM phones or the nice CDMA phones from Verizon or World phones.

[1838] Like the iPhone's a world phone, so it has a GSM chip in it.

[1839] So when you go to Japan and when you go to somewhere else that only has GSM, it still works.

[1840] Yeah.

[1841] So.

[1842] I'm excited, though, about September for the announcements for Apple because they're supposedly...

[1843] Because you're a dork.

[1844] No, but...

[1845] Because you're an Apple Dark.

[1846] I know that they're making the cheaper iPhone this time, too.

[1847] Also, supposedly, they're having a cheaper plastic version.

[1848] They're also having a gold version, supposedly.

[1849] Oh, shit, yeah, bitches.

[1850] But I wonder if also...

[1851] Time to shine.

[1852] The iPad mini...

[1853] I wonder if they're going to try to make it like a galaxy, no phone, with the options to have a phone.

[1854] It hasn't really been talked about much.

[1855] They would be copying.

[1856] And I think that's one of the reasons why they haven't gone with a bigger screen.

[1857] I think they're being stubborn, that they're the innovators.

[1858] We've found that this size is perfect It's perfect for your hands You know, you can use it with one hand Very easily And that is true But I use the battery pack on it Which makes it larger anyway With the battery pack It's basically the same size as this But without the sexy screen Yeah Because this screen is undeniably sexy You cannot fuck with that You just can't Look at that Come on son That thing's gigantic And look Kampawi Look I can get on websites With Chrome Suck it son Are you kidding me?

[1859] Yeah, but why don't you just get a mini iPad then if you want the big screen?

[1860] This is a phone as well.

[1861] Yeah, but I mean, you could...

[1862] I can text on it.

[1863] I can put it in my pocket.

[1864] I can take pictures.

[1865] I can watch movies on it.

[1866] It's a better screen.

[1867] Yeah, but why don't you for it just for a phone?

[1868] Just for a phone get like one of those flip phones that you could put in your sock.

[1869] But why don't you have two things where you could have one that doesn't have both better?

[1870] That doesn't make any sense.

[1871] Why wouldn't I just have this?

[1872] I can go online on this.

[1873] If it's all about the screen.

[1874] It's not a preposterous experience.

[1875] There's something preposterous about scrolling side to side on an iPhone trying to look at a whole website.

[1876] It just is.

[1877] This, you don't have to do it as much.

[1878] And it's, in my opinion, Apple fucked up.

[1879] I think they fucked up hardcore that they didn't develop a five -inch screen.

[1880] Develop a five -inch screen, you fucking assholes.

[1881] It's been three years since the Android people showed you that that's something desirable.

[1882] And you dummies are like, no, no, no, people are quite fine.

[1883] They're very narrow, smaller one.

[1884] It fits in your pocket a little bit.

[1885] It's okay.

[1886] It's really good.

[1887] It works better.

[1888] It has the best software and has the best like interface the user interface of the iPhone is without a doubt the best experience but this little tiny screen could suck it all right this is stupid compared to this this is better this one I like better it's just a teeny bit of screen size you're talking about you're talking about a very minor I'm talking screen size yeah I beg that shit is and it's not worth the software software's not that bad man I'm telling you this this you haven't tried this you have a Galaxy S3 you don't know this one this is the one that has only the google shit it doesn't have any sprint shit yours says sprint when you started up it does you get sprint shit on yours yours says sprint when you start it up son this one does not say sprint i know that's bad ass this is what i'm talking about well my my my ting one does say sprint but i'd hardly use that i love it i love it for pictures and videos though but the three i'm thinking about going with the four for um for my regular phone I'm going to try that.

[1889] I'm going to try the Galaxy S4 for a regular phone on Verizon.

[1890] I tried that.

[1891] How long did you try it for?

[1892] Two days?

[1893] I tried it.

[1894] I was all gung -ho.

[1895] I was like, fuck, yeah.

[1896] Well, listen, man. I saw Jay -Z in a video and he's using it.

[1897] So it's good enough for me. Plus, Jay -Z is a winner, and I kind of feel like I'm a winner.

[1898] If I'm using the same device as Jay -Z.

[1899] That's how I feel.

[1900] Ho!

[1901] H to the O -V.

[1902] I used to roll snowflakes by the O -Z.

[1903] Have you seen the video Where he goes into an art gallery Speaking of art gallery?

[1904] Oh God, yeah And he does rap in an art gallery Pull that up Because it's kind of fascinating Have you seen it?

[1905] Yeah It's fascinating Something Yoko Ono would do It is like something Yoko Ono would do Look at this Brian Look how sexy all those apps are Oh yeah Look at that Oh you mean all those inferior apps That are not Shut your mouth son What the fuck you're talking about Look at all the possible frames I have all the windows that I can go through.

[1906] Go on Vine and look at somebody that has an Android's vines compared to an iPhone.

[1907] Suck it.

[1908] Look at all the customizations that I can do.

[1909] Go on someone vines.

[1910] I don't vine, kid.

[1911] You need to vine, son.

[1912] You need to do anything.

[1913] Vining's where it's at.

[1914] Listen, I'm overexposed as it is.

[1915] You know how I know?

[1916] I don't like me anymore.

[1917] Tired of hearing me. I hear me too much.

[1918] You hear me in every fucking UFC.

[1919] You listen to yourself all day long when you get you.

[1920] When I get out of here.

[1921] You go, boy.

[1922] I listen to myself.

[1923] No. I do have to, on some occasions, like for stand -up comedy.

[1924] I don't listen to these things.

[1925] I do listen to criticism.

[1926] Like, I know people don't want, they don't believe that.

[1927] They think, like, you know, nobody actually appreciates criticism when they do podcasts or anything well.

[1928] A large percentage of it is by people that just have an opinion.

[1929] And their opinion is probably, you know, it's probably valid.

[1930] It is to be a large percentage of it is.

[1931] It is to.

[1932] to them, everybody's experience is different.

[1933] There's things that certain people like about certain folks and their personalities that other people don't like.

[1934] And when you take it all into consideration, even if you don't agree with the guy, it gives you a broader perspective of what you're actually doing, of the point of view you're actually putting out or the vibe people are actually receiving when they listen to the podcast.

[1935] So even douchey criticisms have benefited me. I really believe that.

[1936] Even like mean, nasty, I think it's a bitter pill to sweat.

[1937] swallow, but when you get through it, I think it benefits you.

[1938] You have a better understanding of what you are or aren't doing.

[1939] And it forces you to look at what you are or aren't doing as a broadcaster.

[1940] But you don't, do you?

[1941] That's why you're looking at me like that?

[1942] No, I do.

[1943] What are you trying to say?

[1944] You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.

[1945] Apple rules.

[1946] That's what I was going to say.

[1947] I was thinking about how creepy it would be to be at this JZ art thing.

[1948] Oh, you say creepy.

[1949] Yeah, he comes up and starts just wrapping in your face.

[1950] Look at this.

[1951] So they're at a gallery.

[1952] He's got really high -cut sleeves.

[1953] And this has something to do with the Samsung Galaxy S -4, right?

[1954] I don't know.

[1955] Yeah.

[1956] Is it?

[1957] Doesn't it?

[1958] I believe it has something to do with a promotion.

[1959] And so he's standing there and people, and he's rapping in front of people, and there's, like, old white ladies dancing with him.

[1960] She's, like, going head -to -head with him and dancing with him.

[1961] That's a polite way of saying she would like that dick.

[1962] It makes you realize how unintertaining rap.

[1963] really is.

[1964] I love, what are you talking about?

[1965] Okay, let me ask you this.

[1966] The difference she's seeing this and seeing an acoustic version of Everlast doing...

[1967] Jump around?

[1968] Well, how about it when he did that John Lennon saw the working class hero?

[1969] Dude, come on, man. That's just that's for that environment.

[1970] I've been listening to his new album a lot, man. That shit's bone chilling.

[1971] This shit's good, but it's so depressing.

[1972] Yeah, he's a depressing.

[1973] He's lived a hard life.

[1974] He's got a bluesy outlook but you know if you're into that music he's a he's a master at it he's a master at that bluesy shit fuck yeah he's awesome he's a great guy too man i really enjoy having him in here he came to my shows in toronto uh came to my show in toronto it was awesome he's good dude he's so easy to hang with too like he could just fit in any crowd he doesn't require any special attention he just blends in that's that that depressing has music though It's just the style He's very just This voice sounds Yeah Yeah everything is regret There's a lot of loneliness In there There's people love that though They love like linking up to it You know that's why Johnny Cash Folsom Prison Blues It's such a great song Because it's about a guy Who ruined his whole fucking life You know you're singing about a guy Who's watching people smoking big cigars and drinking coffee and wishing he could be with them.

[1975] They're probably drinking coffee and smoking big cigars but I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

[1976] I mean, there's something about ruining your life that makes for great art. Why is that?

[1977] I don't know.

[1978] I don't know what the fuck it is about blues music.

[1979] There's something that people want to relate to about losing your life.

[1980] What's so funny?

[1981] You guys know you're doing a podcast right Jamie's having his own little show Yeah he's always What's he saying He's showing me a picture of what Looks like Jay Z Looking at a Galaxy S4 And just his expression on his face He's like I don't want it to this You know like Well he's just He's being Like sponsored by GalaxyS4 And they actually like Included his album On like a million different phones That they sold It was like part of the Oh you could get the album Early if you'd bought this phone.

[1982] It was just automatically a bit beyond it.

[1983] Yeah.

[1984] And so, like, people disputed that as far as, like, record sales go.

[1985] Hey.

[1986] Like, how many records did you really sell that?

[1987] Is that an iPhone?

[1988] Man, this shit ain't no iPhone.

[1989] Dog, for real.

[1990] Come on, son.

[1991] Who'd you steal that from?

[1992] Is that an AS4 in his hand or is that an iPhone?

[1993] It looks like an iPhone.

[1994] It looks like an iPhone.

[1995] Doesn't it?

[1996] They got them.

[1997] They caught.

[1998] Oh, that's what the photo is about.

[1999] If you have a big contract with S4, yeah, you can't be seen fucking with an iPhone.

[2000] Yeah.

[2001] Someone could take a picture of it.

[2002] Hey, man, look at this picture.

[2003] They give you their phone to look at.

[2004] And then the paparazzi snap a shot real quick.

[2005] And boom, iPhone goes, let's be real, Jay -Z.

[2006] When no one's looking, this is what you use.

[2007] Exactly.

[2008] And that's true.

[2009] That's what it seems like it.

[2010] I'm sure.

[2011] That's what you're going to, you should go just Galaxy.

[2012] I would love to see you do it.

[2013] What are you talking about, man?

[2014] I'm not sponsored by nobody.

[2015] I can do whatever the fuck I want.

[2016] I know.

[2017] I know, but that's what I'm saying is you should try to do it as if you were sponsored to see if you could do it.

[2018] Here, put these glasses on.

[2019] Son, why would I do that?

[2020] Put these glasses on.

[2021] No, no, no, why those glasses?

[2022] See if they help you.

[2023] No, I read with glasses.

[2024] I read with reading glasses.

[2025] I think it would be cool if you had, like, red glasses.

[2026] No. If I want to read a book in low light, I have to use reading glasses.

[2027] But I can read my laptop.

[2028] You know what gets me is low light conditions?

[2029] Like, I can read really good.

[2030] Like, if I'm outside, I can read a book with no problem.

[2031] I don't need a, even glasses, reading glasses.

[2032] Is driving been affected yet?

[2033] No, no. Driving doesn't get affected.

[2034] It's Steve Graham explained it to me. He's an ophthalmologist.

[2035] And he said that it's your brain or your eyeballs, rather, they lose their ability to focus.

[2036] The muscle doesn't focus on in -close things anymore.

[2037] And you develop nearsightedness.

[2038] That's something that people, that's where reading glasses come from.

[2039] That's why my dad always told me to spend like 10 minutes every hour and look at a mountain far away just if you're on your computer.

[2040] or just go outside and stare at something far away to kind of work out that muscle into stretching out or seeing far away and seeing close up.

[2041] It makes sense.

[2042] It makes sense that your muscle would get tired of doing the same thing over and over and over again.

[2043] You're just abusing it.

[2044] It's also, I think, there's probably an issue with artificial light.

[2045] It's probably an issue with artificial light while you're looking.

[2046] Look at this motherfucker with an iPhone.

[2047] Jesus Christ, J -Z.

[2048] Jesus Christ.

[2049] He got the iPhone.

[2050] He's got the white one.

[2051] Black people love white limos.

[2052] Like Eddie Griffin used to love white limos.

[2053] White shoes.

[2054] I want to be taken around by a white limo.

[2055] You know they're all going to jump on that gold, though.

[2056] That's the only reason Apple is releasing it.

[2057] If they do release it, that is a smart move for the hip -hop community.

[2058] You definitely want to get that.

[2059] They had a gold iPhone 5 that they gave away as a prize in one of the MMA events.

[2060] I forget, like one of the foreign MMA events, they gave, I think they gave Paul Dale a gold iPhone That's nice It's silly Right I mean What the fuck are you doing What if you lose it You're gonna be so bummed out Lose your fucking stupid gold iPhone Drop your stupid gold iPhone And then we're gonna do Take the back off of it And put it on some new innards You don't have to get some Doctor work done Supposedly Apple is about to release Like a new warranty program That gives you You know for two years Your iPhone is protected Up to two accidental damage things.

[2061] So like if you cracks on the ground, now it's like hundreds of dollars to get you know, the new one's not kind of, the new one's going to let you have two cracks.

[2062] Really?

[2063] Two swipes.

[2064] Yeah, so now I might not even be using cases anymore because it's so sexy without the case.

[2065] It's very sexy without the case.

[2066] But you know, I started using this Mofi case thing.

[2067] That's the shit.

[2068] Because you always have a second battery option.

[2069] There's nothing better than that, man. The idea that you can just charge that bitch up at any point in time.

[2070] Except the plug.

[2071] It's a plug?

[2072] Except the plug difference, meaning...

[2073] But it's not different.

[2074] You have to charge...

[2075] It's not different anymore.

[2076] Oh, it's not?

[2077] No, no. A USB plug.

[2078] If you have the micro -usb, it plugs this, and it plugs the phone.

[2079] It charges both.

[2080] Oh, no, no, yeah, that's how it always was.

[2081] I'm talking about, like, you know, like...

[2082] Oh, if you want to take the case off and...

[2083] Yeah, yeah, that's true.

[2084] But if you want to charge it, it charges both the phone and the case with the mini -USB or micro -USB, whatever it is.

[2085] What does it say?

[2086] He's sitting there with Apple laptops.

[2087] Oh, how dare you, Jay -Z.

[2088] You're allowed to have an Apple laptop if you have a Samsung.

[2089] You don't have to use Windows.

[2090] You know, Google's coming out with their own desktop.

[2091] They have their own laptops now.

[2092] Yeah, I know.

[2093] Chromebooks.

[2094] No fucking hard drives at all.

[2095] They want you to store everything in the cloud.

[2096] Oh, such a dumb idea.

[2097] Yeah, that's this idea of the cloud being for everything.

[2098] Yep.

[2099] Get out of my face.

[2100] What if I don't have the Internet access?

[2101] I can't fucking write my paper?

[2102] Well, not only that.

[2103] haven't we clearly established what the NSA is looking through everything that you do the NSA is going to have your cloud you know is Google going to protect your cloud from the NSA really you're sure no where are my dick pictures going they're going out into the universe I don't think it's a good idea to just store stuff in space like that unless you don't care but if you have anything that's like intellectual property like something you're working on a movie that you're trying to do and you're storing in the cloud or or anything along those lines yeah yeah I mean I think there's I think it's fine for most shit, but I'm not going to put all my butthole photos at mine.

[2104] Oh, I get it.

[2105] I said dick, and you say butthole?

[2106] Yeah.

[2107] That's funny.

[2108] Fucking child.

[2109] Grow up.

[2110] Let's bring this thing home.

[2111] You haven't changed in three years.

[2112] Why did you think it was episode 400, by the way?

[2113] No, I said we're closing in on episode 400.

[2114] It's episode 389.

[2115] Isn't that ridiculous?

[2116] Yeah.

[2117] Oh, I wrote 400.

[2118] That's right.

[2119] That's hilarious.

[2120] Oh, I wrote it.

[2121] You know why?

[2122] Because I was talking and writing at the same time.

[2123] Yeah, I'll edit it.

[2124] I'll edit the thread.

[2125] It's kind of amazing that it's almost at 400.

[2126] Yeah.

[2127] Super crazy.

[2128] If you stop by and think about the old days.

[2129] The old days of the snowflakes.

[2130] The next stage of this shit is that we don't have to be in the same room.

[2131] The next stage of this is that we're going to be in other parts of the country.

[2132] We're going to Skype it in together.

[2133] I can already do this.

[2134] that.

[2135] Yeah.

[2136] We're going to have to do that eventually because I'm not going to stay here.

[2137] Well, I'm not going to stay here now with all those LA shit.

[2138] You mean radiation shit?

[2139] Yeah.

[2140] I wasn't going to stay anyway.

[2141] I think the traffic situation here is problematic.

[2142] The culture situation here is problematic.

[2143] There's a lot of things about this place I don't like.

[2144] One of the big ones is I think there's too many people.

[2145] I think we devalue each other when we're stuck in these places where there's too many people like this.

[2146] I just think the numbers are too high.

[2147] Well, that, in the fact that 90 % of the people out here are trying to be somebody or something, so you're not getting normal people, you're getting people that are usually, like, in the...

[2148] Broken.

[2149] Yeah, we're not broken even.

[2150] Like, when you go to high school, you know, who's in the Thesbian club and, you know, and who's in the normal club?

[2151] Well, you know what?

[2152] Look, man, there's a lot of people that are into that that I like, you know?

[2153] That's not, that's not all bad.

[2154] What's the bad to me is not being into being a Thespian.

[2155] What's bad to me is the desire for really, unnecessary attention or undeserved attention, I should say, where there's so many people that are trying to correct what they feel as an injustice from their childhood.

[2156] That's what creates someone who wants to be famous.

[2157] That's what created me, no doubt about it.

[2158] I had to try to work my way through that and figure it out as an adult and adjust and evolve, and I did it through martial arts, and I did it through reflection and meditation and isolation tanks and all that shit and psychedelics but some people aren't interested in fixing it they're not interested in being balanced they're they're interested in feeding the monster and the monster was developed when they were children almost everyone out here to a person has a fucked up childhood and i don't know if that's almost everyone in america because it seems like there's a good percentage of people when you get down to the nitty gritty and talk to them about the childhood there's a lot of shit they weren't happy about there's a lot of shit they weren't happy about there's a lot shit that could have been done differently.

[2159] But the opposite of that, of course, is that those are the most interesting people I know.

[2160] The most interesting people I know all had fucked up childhoods.

[2161] They all had to form their own opinions of the world.

[2162] They all had to escape the pressure or the gravity of their environment and get out and become their own individual.

[2163] And in doing so, they developed fortitude.

[2164] They developed character.

[2165] They developed creativity that Some people who live in a soft, cushy, nerfed environment don't have to develop.

[2166] So it's almost like shielding your children from adversity can punish them in a way.

[2167] It's almost like the only way to actually have an interesting person or develop an interesting person is they have to develop.

[2168] They have to fail.

[2169] They have to try and fail and then learn why they fail and then overcome and then deal with assholes to learn they don't like assholes, to learn not to become an asshole, seeing other people with you don't want to see in yourself, correct that from yourself.

[2170] There's like a long fucking process to making a good person.

[2171] And if your kid just grows up in Beverly Hills, a bunch of snotts, and they're all just doing Adderall all day and driving their dad's BMW, you know, you might develop a bunch of useless fucking human beings that are never going to be able to fix themselves.

[2172] But if you develop in a community where hard work is cherished and people understand adversity and they appreciate the land that they're living on, like a cool community, a community that has a good, like a good farmer's market, a community that people, you know, they appreciate being there.

[2173] They work to keep environmental damage from happening to them.

[2174] They work to not pollute.

[2175] They work to establish like a good area, a good spot for everybody to enjoy.

[2176] That I think is the best way to do it.

[2177] But it's just, once you live in a place, it's so hard to get the fuck out.

[2178] It really is.

[2179] It's so hard.

[2180] And it becomes harder when you get older, especially if you have children.

[2181] You know, your children love the school they go to, they love their friends.

[2182] And you're like, hey, yeah, you know that person that you love more than anything in life?

[2183] Yeah, you're not going to get to see her, but maybe once or twice a year because we're going to pack up and move to Texas.

[2184] Yeah, but usually, I mean, it usually gets better, you know.

[2185] Have you ever moved somewhere?

[2186] I'm like, man, I wasn't as good as when I moved over, you know, live there.

[2187] It's usually always like getting a new girlfriend and you.

[2188] You're always going up.

[2189] You're not usually moving down.

[2190] Well, for me, yes.

[2191] Colorado was a big...

[2192] I loved Colorado.

[2193] I loved living there.

[2194] But there's a lot of...

[2195] You know, when you have little kids and you're on mountain lines that are eating dogs, there's something fucked up about that.

[2196] It's something selfish, man. There's something really selfish about that.

[2197] On one hand, it's like, yeah, well, they're going to be okay if you look after them.

[2198] And the other hand, it's like, yeah, they might not be.

[2199] You know, you don't want a baby getting scooped up by an eagle.

[2200] Yeah.

[2201] You'd feel like such an asshole.

[2202] You don't want to be...

[2203] snowed in and you can't get groceries or help.

[2204] Oh, that can happen.

[2205] That happens in Denver once every decade or so.

[2206] They get some shit that keeps you in your house for like two weeks.

[2207] Yeah.

[2208] Fuck that.

[2209] They got seven feet of snow once.

[2210] Dude, stop and think about that.

[2211] A fucking storm just planted itself over Denver or Boulder, I forget where it was, and just dropped seven feet of snow.

[2212] And these poor people were just fucked.

[2213] The only good thing is you can melt it and drink it.

[2214] So you don't have dehydration problems.

[2215] You totally drink that water.

[2216] What the fuck?

[2217] Somebody posted something happened to the Galaxy Mega.

[2218] Oh, yeah, that's another thing they're doing.

[2219] The Galaxy Mega is like in between a tablet and the Note 3.

[2220] That's going to be 6 .8 inches.

[2221] Is that what it is?

[2222] 6 .3.

[2223] 6 .3 inches.

[2224] That's for guys like Shaq.

[2225] Like Shaq could really have that no problem, these giant hands.

[2226] See, people.

[2227] say that um this is too big for one person for your one hand and i don't feel like it is i don't feel like uh the hcc one is too big for one hand i feel like i can handle that with one hand no problems yeah but driving would be i don't text and drive you fuckhead you should stop doing that man here's what you can do easier with this you put the pinkie underneath and it kind of does fit a little bit better in your hand yeah but you're also even with the moffy you're using their their keyboard which is not as good i think it's great keyboard is The typing for me is not as good.

[2228] Keywords just as good, and the spell correction's excellent.

[2229] You haven't used this.

[2230] This is the thing about Apple as opposed to Android, one thing that they do lose on is their innovation is so far behind.

[2231] As far as how much better the new stuff is and how much they release, these HTC phones and these Samsung phones, they're releasing them every couple months.

[2232] Like badass new ones with crazy new shit.

[2233] And then another one's coming down the pipe.

[2234] They're in middle of developing it.

[2235] I definitely think they should expand their line to multiple things.

[2236] phones, which I think they're finally doing now with this new, like they're making the cheaper phone, and maybe they might even make a...

[2237] You're talking about Apple.

[2238] Yeah.

[2239] See, that's your team.

[2240] You just immediately go, they.

[2241] Hey, man. You're talking about Apple, because that's what's close to your heart.

[2242] I just like the best, you know.

[2243] I'm not going to...

[2244] Microsoft, there was an article on, I forget what website I was on today, about Microsoft flailing that they don't know what to do because they're new desktops.

[2245] What's that?

[2246] They bought Nokia.

[2247] Yeah.

[2248] Poor Nokia guys.

[2249] They're probably like, no, you leave us alone, Windows.

[2250] What are you talking about?

[2251] They want to get that.

[2252] money.

[2253] You take our fucking dying platform.

[2254] Here, buy it, please, thank you.

[2255] Give us the money.

[2256] We're done with the mobile market.

[2257] President of the company is leaving next year.

[2258] Yes.

[2259] You know why?

[2260] Because he's got a yacht the size of a state and it's just filled with hookers and he's just rubbing his palms all day while he works.

[2261] Waiting for the one day he gets off and he gets to fucking dive into this sea of beautiful prostitutes naked with a hundred billion dollars he made selling it to Microsoft.

[2262] their phones are terrible I tried one of those windows phones I was like Jesus this is dog shit it's just so comunkey A friend of mine had one And he was trying to take a picture We were outside the ice house He was trying to take a picture I go what are you doing with that monstrosity He's like no no no it's just cool man He's like let me show you Let me show you once you get the hang of it And he's like okay now's here no Hold on yeah where is it Yeah to get the camera I got a okay he ain't huh And I was like, oh, my God.

[2263] To show me his picture, he had to go through this whole rigmaro and go into his photo gallery.

[2264] I go, you just lost me. You just lost me. And that is shite.

[2265] You have a shite camera.

[2266] Why can't they just copy Apple and then take the hit in court?

[2267] They do.

[2268] They do it all the time.

[2269] Copy them.

[2270] Apple's suing all right now.

[2271] Do it exactly the way they do it with no variation.

[2272] Change the icon for the phone, you know, make it a big P for phone.

[2273] and a T for text.

[2274] Make it real simple like that.

[2275] C for camera.

[2276] Make the icons instead of a photo of the fucking thing that it is, like a photo of a camera lens.

[2277] Make it a C. I know what that means.

[2278] It means camera.

[2279] And then Apple can't say shit.

[2280] You can say, we're innovators.

[2281] We decided that instead of having an unrecognizable image of a camera, we went with a C for camera.

[2282] Well, what?

[2283] Sony's about to release a new lens for the iPhone.

[2284] That's like a professional camera lens.

[2285] Oh, that you stick on the end of it?

[2286] Yeah, look at this thing.

[2287] Oh, that's hilarious.

[2288] That's the camera lens that's just...

[2289] Just carry a phone, you fuck.

[2290] Oh, that's badass.

[2291] That's kind of crazy.

[2292] See?

[2293] That's so crazy.

[2294] Yeah, he just snaps on your iPhone.

[2295] That is so crazy.

[2296] It turns your iPhone into a DSLR.

[2297] Yeah.

[2298] Oh, my God.

[2299] You get new fucking lenses for it?

[2300] Oh, that's sweet.

[2301] It's never going to end.

[2302] It's never going to end.

[2303] Yeah, it will.

[2304] Every year they're going to keep coming up with crazier, crazier shit.

[2305] Where's it going to go?

[2306] DSLRs for your iPhone.

[2307] What is the next thing that's going to be a part of your phone?

[2308] I think the next thing is...

[2309] Holograms.

[2310] No, your phone's going to be more used as a remote control with the Apple TV stuff in the future.

[2311] And I think, like, these 4K televisions, you know, they're going to, you know, now phones are doing 4K, so it's going to be, you know, just amazing.

[2312] Like, hey, check out what happened, you know, today at the store.

[2313] And now you're just saying it to your phone.

[2314] I think more interactions with your TV and phone and computer and stuff like that.

[2315] No, I hear you.

[2316] I think it's going to be a little Obi -1, help me, Obi -1.

[2317] You're my only hope.

[2318] I think we're going to make holograms.

[2319] I think that's coming.

[2320] Your brain's a hologram.

[2321] Oh, your mom's brain's a hologram.

[2322] I think it's just a matter of time before we can develop something that's going to take a 3D image of something and you're going to see a miniature version of it.

[2323] So your girl's going to be able to send you miniature versions of her, like, fingering herself.

[2324] and you're going to play it on the bed and shoot loads onto it?

[2325] She would never do that.

[2326] Yes, she would, dude.

[2327] She lives in the desert with monkeys and tarzan.

[2328] Fucking snakes and shit.

[2329] All right.

[2330] Let's send this.

[2331] Let's wrap this bitch up, bring it home.

[2332] This was as silly and pointless as any podcast we've ever done.

[2333] Thank you.

[2334] I knew I could count on you.

[2335] We've been too serious lately about a lot of shit.

[2336] Sometimes, yeah, sometimes no. You know, a lot of people complained about the TV show that I did and the explanations of conspiracy theories and that's one of the reasons why I didn't want to do those subjects in the first place it's too touchy a subject of people but I was intoxicated by the ideas behind them and the idea behind exploring them and finding out what people's belief systems are right and I learned a lot I really did I learned a lot about myself and my own willingness to believe in shit it, but I also learned about other people's just repeatable behavior patterns, these repeated behavior patterns where you see how they get locked into all this crazy shit, all thinking about all these crazy ideas that aren't necessarily real, looking for mysteries.

[2337] And for the most part, it's a fucking waste of time.

[2338] The vast majority of all paranormal stuff, I think, is a giant distraction, the vast majority.

[2339] it doesn't mean there's not some possibilities especially for psychic powers the ability to see i've i've had weird feelings um in my life and they turned out to be represented in real life it's possible that you know people have some abilities that are much much stronger than mine i've had some weird moments where i felt like i could sort of figure out that something was wrong even though there's no natural indication but i don't have any psychic powers at all i have zero And because of these weird moments, I always leave the door open for a possibility someday.

[2340] But like McWest said, it's probably going to come through technology.

[2341] It's probably the idea of a person becoming psychic is probably going to get bum rushed by real psychic energy that's created by chips before we even get close to figuring out how to do it biologically on a consistent basis.

[2342] I just think that I think these subjects are too, they're too toxic.

[2343] you know there's too much hostility involved and you get involved in these arguments that you don't really want to be in I don't want to be in a chemtrial argument with people yeah especially since that person's in his basement doing it and he has all the time in the world to fight you with it and you're just like all right I'm going to open up my Twitter oh man I have to deal with this shit well it's not only that it's also I don't want to be called a shill because I'm not and just because we disagree with something I don't want you to be mad at me because it's just an idea and it's just It's about...

[2344] It's about the future of the...

[2345] I get it.

[2346] I get it.

[2347] But it's also about ideas.

[2348] Because the alien thing is just about the idea.

[2349] It's just about the idea.

[2350] There's no direct imminent threat by aliens that we need to recognize.

[2351] It's just about the idea.

[2352] And when you start talking about that idea and showing different viewpoints, like, hey, man, maybe people are full of shit.

[2353] And then you start meeting a gang of people that are full of shit.

[2354] And then you start reporting, hey, man, I think these guys are full of shit.

[2355] And that might be what we're seeing here.

[2356] People get so fucking mad.

[2357] at you.

[2358] And that was something that I kind of anticipated but didn't, I thought of expected that we would be able to maneuver our way around it and we weren't able to.

[2359] So for all you people that are believing in aliens, good for you, sweetie.

[2360] Good for you.

[2361] I'm not saying there's no aliens, but you best realize that people are full of shit.

[2362] Might not be that there's no aliens, but it might be that no one's ever seen an alien.

[2363] That is fucking possible too.

[2364] You got to take that shit in consideration.

[2365] Don't get mad at me, bitch.

[2366] I love you.

[2367] Give me a hug.

[2368] Come here, give me a big E -hug.

[2369] You freaks.

[2370] There's plenty of room in this life for love.

[2371] You don't have to create conflict.

[2372] And what I really liked about that Nick West guys, he's not trying to start any fights with people.

[2373] He's trying to just disagree.

[2374] He does so politely.

[2375] I think that's, we could all learn from that guy.

[2376] All right, you fucks.

[2377] What else could I say?

[2378] Love doesn't exist.

[2379] Tell John McCain get the fuck off his phone if you see him.

[2380] Tell him, poker's for idiots.

[2381] Stop it.

[2382] It's not really for idiots.

[2383] But tell him that anyway.

[2384] Don't tell him that.

[2385] He's a fucking war hero.

[2386] What does that even mean?

[2387] Hey, look, we love the shit out of you guys.

[2388] And we'll see you Monday.

[2389] We've got quite a few options for guests next week.

[2390] So it should be cool and interesting and fun.

[2391] And always as positive as we can make it.

[2392] All right.

[2393] No inspirational speeches.

[2394] I think I've said enough today.

[2395] So I give you a big kiss.

[2396] And we'll see you soon.

[2397] to Stamps .com, use the code word JRE, save yourself some cash.

[2398] Go to Onit .com, use the code word Rogan, and save 10 % off any and all supplements.

[2399] And we will see you this weekend in Brea, California, this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, me and the lovely and talented Tony Hinchcliffe.

[2400] And if you really like Tony's set, you can take him home.

[2401] We'll let you.

[2402] I've heard.

[2403] I'm the Golden Pony.

[2404] I'll come with you.

[2405] All right, we love you guys.

[2406] Bye.