S13 E22: [Gianna] Lock the Doors

[0] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to something was wrong early and ad -free right now.

[1] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[2] I'm Dan Tversky.

[3] In 2011, something strange began to happen at a high school in upstate New York.

[4] A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms, and spreading fast.

[5] What's the answer?

[6] And what do you do if they tell you it's all in your head?

[7] Hysterical.

[8] A new podcast from Wondry and Pineapple Street Studios.

[9] Binge all episodes of Hesterical Early and Ad -Free.

[10] on Wondery Plus.

[11] Something Was Wrong is intended for mature audiences.

[12] Episodes discuss topics that can be upsetting, such as emotional, physical, and sexual violence, suicide, and murder.

[13] If you're in need of support, please visit Something Was Wrong .com slash resources for a list of non -profit organizations that can help.

[14] I'm not a therapist or a doctor.

[15] Most names have been changed for anonymity purposes.

[16] Opinions expressed by guests on the show are their own, and do not necessarily represent my views.

[17] Resources and source material are linked in the episode notes.

[18] Thank you so much for listening.

[19] You think you know me, you don't know me well.

[20] I could not believe that this was happening.

[21] I could not imagine a world where my daughter would put to be married without her family or without her friends to accommodate someone who didn't care if she had her love was there or not.

[22] It was literally like we were living in a different dimension that this was not who my daughter was.

[23] In that moment, everything changed as far as our relationship.

[24] I have accomplished a lot of things professionally in my life, and none of them really matter.

[25] The only thing that has ever really mattered is being a mom and raising good human beings, good people to put out there in the world.

[26] One Facebook post for it to all be washed away.

[27] We didn't matter.

[28] Her father and I found out when she was getting married with everyone else on Facebook.

[29] And it was just the ultimate, the proverbial straw that broke the camels back.

[30] Right?

[31] That was it.

[32] After that happened, I did tell her, I will not pay for a reception here.

[33] If you can't even respect us enough to have a conversation with us about your wedding day, I'm not going to fund a party to celebrate your wedding.

[34] If you all want to pay for that and have that here, I'm more than happy to help you, but I will not help you financially.

[35] It was a very hard conversation to have.

[36] I've never done that with my kids.

[37] They're very good people.

[38] They're appreciative of everything they have.

[39] They're respectful of their dad and myself.

[40] So they get whatever they want.

[41] As long as you are good people and do all the things you're supposed to do, respect your family, put good out there in the world.

[42] I don't know why they should ever have to struggle or figure things out on their own, especially financially.

[43] That was never anything that I ever dreamed of.

[44] I had tried very hard to be super careful of what I said and not push and knowing it was wrong and giving her space to figure it out on her own.

[45] In that moment, that's what I knew.

[46] You just have to step back.

[47] Let it be what it's going to be.

[48] At that point, I didn't even really want to go.

[49] But what do you do, not go to your daughter's wedding?

[50] The only people there that I was going to know were going to be my husband, my daughter, and Brent.

[51] Not at all how I ever imagined our daughter's wedding being.

[52] It wasn't my wedding.

[53] So if that's what she wanted and that's how she wanted it to be, then we bought our plane tickets to land two days before the wedding and to leave the day after the wedding.

[54] I always thought this will be weeks of planning.

[55] So no showers, no parties.

[56] Nothing was planned with her friends or family.

[57] Everything revolved around what his family wanted, where his family wanted it to be.

[58] This was going to be their reception and their party.

[59] That was perfectly acceptable with his family, that Gianna was not going to have any friends or grandparents or sibling.

[60] They were fine with that.

[61] It was very surreal.

[62] So when I say it out loud, I'm like, I can't believe this even happened.

[63] I remember mentioning I want a photographer, videographer, and a venue, my ex was saying, We grew up with very different things.

[64] You got everything you wanted.

[65] I had very little.

[66] You need to understand that a photographer in a venue is a lot to ask for it.

[67] And it's just too much money.

[68] We don't need it waste money.

[69] I'm thinking, I'm not having a photographer at my wedding.

[70] So I ended up putting the $500 deposit on the photographer for the wedding.

[71] I was then saying who's going to pay for the venue because we got an argument over his suit.

[72] He had no money for the suit.

[73] and the wedding was in a few weeks.

[74] So I knew he couldn't pay for a venue if he can't even pay for a suit.

[75] I'm just thinking, like, there's no money to pay for this wedding.

[76] It seems like no one cares what's going on.

[77] You have to get married in the temple.

[78] The family he was staying with, the father of the household was saying, I will not be very happy if you guys don't get married in the temple.

[79] Everyone was wanting us to get married, but there were no plans.

[80] We got an argument over me saying, I don't want anyone wearing white to my wedding or they're not coming to the wedding.

[81] That's how I saw it as.

[82] And he was like, well, you can't tell my aunties, they can't wear white to your wedding.

[83] That's not how that works.

[84] And I'm just thinking, you are so entitled.

[85] If your fiancé is saying they want no one wearing white to their wedding, it should be okay, honey.

[86] No one is going to wear white if that is what you want.

[87] I'm not an attention seeker.

[88] I don't like attention, but I truly want my wedding to look a certain way.

[89] and it seems like it wasn't about me, that's what threw me off.

[90] Even with the wedding cake, I texted sister over and over because she said, we have someone who will do your wedding cake.

[91] I texted sister, can you please send me the lady's number?

[92] I would like to reach out to her about what I want for the cake.

[93] No answer.

[94] I texted her again, she's like, oh, I texted your fiancé, he should have her number.

[95] I reached out to him and he's like, okay, yeah, I have her number, but I'm going to reach out to her soon.

[96] And I'm thinking it is less than a month away from this wedding and we don't have a cake planned out.

[97] It was just a hot mess, anything, you name it.

[98] Nothing was prepared.

[99] Nothing was paid for, no deposit on anything other than what I put down for the photographer.

[100] And everyone seemed to be very okay with it.

[101] No one felt stressed or pressured or rushed.

[102] It seems like everything would have magically come together sooner or later, which was very odd to me. I was very foreign to the whole situation and the thought of having no wedding plans and we're this close to the wedding absolutely freaks me out.

[103] It was very odd.

[104] I imagined it as we're going to be on the phone with each other every day, doing this, this and this.

[105] I was really depending on them because they're in California.

[106] His little sisters, I thought that they would take over.

[107] They were going to go see a wedding venue, but they canceled that plan.

[108] I don't want to accuse them of avoiding me or leaving me out, but it wasn't any means by let's do this, this and this day, check that off.

[109] We need to prepare for this.

[110] I remember trying to get a head count for them, and I could not get a head count.

[111] I said to him, we need people to RSVP so we can get a venue.

[112] It could be 50, 100, 150 people more than we planned on.

[113] I said, I don't want random people there at the wedding.

[114] I want people to RSVP.

[115] So we have a number.

[116] We have a budget and we can work with it.

[117] And he was saying, well, no Polynesians are going to RSVP.

[118] That's unheard of in the Polynesian culture.

[119] That threw me off because I said, there's no way we can plan it.

[120] If we don't know how many people are going to be there and we don't have a budget or let alone money at all.

[121] I was trying to be very respectful.

[122] I have a bunch of Polynesian friends.

[123] I want to understand it more.

[124] And it just seems like with my culture, it's this way, this way, this way.

[125] I didn't understand it.

[126] I'm like, is it earlier culture or is it just you or is it just your family?

[127] I didn't understand that.

[128] So his sister said, let's do it in a park.

[129] I'm like, I don't want my wedding in a park with picnic tables, I was mortified, and he said, let's go to the temple.

[130] It was always that.

[131] Let's go to the temple and talk about things.

[132] We sit in the parking lot and look over options and plan for the wedding.

[133] I started crying.

[134] I couldn't hold it in any longer, and I said, hey, I really don't want my wedding to be at a park.

[135] That's not what I envisioned.

[136] I said, no way am I trying to be disrespectful, but I saw it as a magical day, something planned out, and I want a photographer there.

[137] I want a videographer there.

[138] He mentioned that's really expensive.

[139] You have to understand those are really expensive.

[140] I sat there and I didn't talk anymore.

[141] The only thing he should be saying is we're going to figure it out, I want you to be happy, I want us to be happy, I want this to be a magical day for you.

[142] This is a big deal.

[143] We are getting married, but it wasn't any of those words of reassurance.

[144] That's where I felt hopeless.

[145] I was like, there's no point in planning anything if we don't have money.

[146] If he has no money for a suit, there's no money for a cake, there's no money for a honeymoon, nothing at all.

[147] I asked him, I said, who's paying for the honeymoon?

[148] And where are we going?

[149] He was like, well, we're paying for it.

[150] There's absolutely no way he could have paid for a honeymoon.

[151] I was hopeless and hoping someone would step up and help and plan in California because we were physically not there.

[152] He mentioned that he wanted to leave and go to California and work there to earn money while planning the wedding.

[153] I didn't have much hope.

[154] That may sound rude, but at this point, I was done planning.

[155] It wasn't exciting.

[156] My wedding dress was already tailored and ready for like a month at that point.

[157] I was so depressed.

[158] I was upset.

[159] I knew that the relationship with my family wasn't good.

[160] The planning was going terribly.

[161] I was not excited for the wedding.

[162] I really did not know what was happening with the wedding either, and I was a maid of honor.

[163] And it's not that she was trying to keep it from me. I think there was just so much drama going on.

[164] The thing that she would also stress to me the most is that she was very stressed out of her mind.

[165] She stopped going to the gym.

[166] She stopped cooking, which she loves to do.

[167] She stopped doing a lot of things that she loved.

[168] So I was like, she must be very, very stressed about the wedding.

[169] I really wouldn't have guessed it was because of Brent.

[170] I have never spoken to his side of the family, to be completely honest, which I thought was weird because I'm the maid of honor.

[171] I would like to include everybody on what's happening.

[172] Since December, I was tackling my relationship with my parents, but separating it between my relationship with Brent.

[173] It didn't feel the same anymore.

[174] After that, argument happened.

[175] I could just tell the dynamic was off.

[176] And anything involving my family or choosing my family always caused an argument.

[177] And we have gotten into multiple arguments, him actually wanting to leave the relationship again because I wanted my brother at the wedding.

[178] It's my only sibling.

[179] My only brother, he ended up calling me and we talked.

[180] He was saying, I want to support you.

[181] I do want to be there for you.

[182] I know we are not close, but I truly want to be there to support you at your wedding, even though I can't go into the temple.

[183] I talked to Brent about it multiple times, and he was saying, you know what?

[184] My family has told me I'm not marrying your family.

[185] I'm marrying you.

[186] You need to understand that you need to step away from your family.

[187] You're marrying me. Stop choosing your brother and family over me. I was saying, Brent, that is not how I look at it.

[188] I see it as, I have one brother, I truly want him there.

[189] Can we please find a date that'll work?

[190] We have literally done nothing yet.

[191] We haven't seen out invitations, nothing.

[192] We still have time to choose a date.

[193] He's like, but we prayed about this date.

[194] This is the date we prayed about.

[195] And this is the one that God gave us the answer to.

[196] I'm just saying, please, I'm really going to regret this for the rest of my life.

[197] If my only sibling is not there, I really want him to witness this.

[198] and it turned into a whole argument over me choosing my family.

[199] He went to his family about it too.

[200] I was just saying that they think I'm choosing my family over him.

[201] In no way was I trying to make him feel that way ever.

[202] I never wanted him to feel like he was less than or feel bad about himself.

[203] I truly wanted my brother there.

[204] If it was ever brought up, it was very uncomfortable for anyone sitting in the room.

[205] I did not talk to any of my friends about wedding planning.

[206] It was just so weird, and I do not understand why his family is so calm with it.

[207] I cannot say a certain time, but at some point I just kind of accepted that it was going to happen this way.

[208] I feel uncomfortable.

[209] I'm not excited.

[210] My mother and father are going to be there with no one that they know.

[211] it's going to be very awkward.

[212] I have no makeup artist book, no hair artist books, have no veil, have no flowers, nothing, no decorations, no food, no videographer, no venue.

[213] It was a nightmare.

[214] Gianna and Brent had gotten into an argument.

[215] She had gone to him on her own, hey, I really want my brother at our wedding, and he threw a fit.

[216] I can't believe you're picking your brother over me. So she calls me. And he basically says he's breaking up with her over this.

[217] She calls me and she's devastated.

[218] I said, what do you want me to do?

[219] Do you want me to come there and be with you?

[220] Do you want to come home for a couple of days?

[221] What do you want to do?

[222] She said, I really want you to come out here.

[223] The next day, I got on a plane and I flew out there.

[224] This trip was truly the nailing the coffin of everything for my husband and myself.

[225] She struck him with her motor vehicle.

[226] She had been under the influence and then she left him there.

[227] In January 2022, local woman Karen Reed was implicated in the mysterious death of her boyfriend, Boston police officer John O 'Keefe.

[228] It was alleged that after an innocent night out for drinks with friends, Karen and John got into a lover's quarrel en route to the next location.

[229] What happens next?

[230] Depends on who you ask.

[231] Was it a crime of passion?

[232] If you believe the prosecution, it's because the evidence was so compelling.

[233] This was clearly an intentional act.

[234] In his cause of judgment, death was blunt force trauma with hypothermia.

[235] Or a corrupt police cover -up.

[236] If you believe the defense theory, however, this was all a cover -up to prevent one of their own from going down.

[237] Everyone had an opinion.

[238] And after the 10 -week trial, the jury could not come to a unanimous decision.

[239] To end in a mistrial, it's just a confirmation of just how complicated this case is.

[240] Law and crime presents the most in -depth analysis to date of the sensational case in Karen.

[241] You can listen to Karen exclusively with Wondry Plus.

[242] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify.

[243] I'm Dan Tibersky.

[244] In 2011, something strange began to happen at the high school in Leroy, New York.

[245] I was like at my locker and she came up to me and she was like stuttering super bad.

[246] I'm like, stop fucking around.

[247] She's like, I can't.

[248] A mystery illness, bizarre symptoms, and spreading fast.

[249] It's like doubling and tripling and it's all these girls.

[250] With a diagnosis.

[251] the state tried to keep on the down low.

[252] Everybody thought I was holding something back.

[253] Well, you were holding something back intentionally.

[254] Yeah, yeah, well, yeah.

[255] No, it's hysteria.

[256] It's all in your head.

[257] It's not physical.

[258] Oh, my gosh, you're exaggerating.

[259] Is this the largest mass hysteria since the Witches of Salem?

[260] Or is it something else entirely?

[261] Something's wrong here.

[262] Something's not right.

[263] Leroy was the new date line and everyone was trying to solve the murder.

[264] A new limited series from Wondery and Pineapple Street Studios, hysterical.

[265] Follow Hysterical on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[266] You can binge all episodes of Hysterical early and ad -free right now by joining Wondry Plus.

[267] This is what I've done for years.

[268] My role was to sit down with other leaders in my company and work out problems, help people to develop and to grow.

[269] I thought, hey, I'm going to go out here and I'm going to have these two come over to the hotel, and we're all going to sit down and talk it all out, and it'll all be fine.

[270] Brent comes to the hotel.

[271] We sit down and we start what ends up being about a two -and -a -half -hour -long conversation.

[272] He was so out of touch.

[273] For someone who used the words, respect, I respect my parents, and I respect my culture, and I love the Lord, all these phrases that he had on repeat.

[274] He was so pompous and so arrogant and utterly disrespectful.

[275] He and Gianna were sitting on one bed, and I was sitting.

[276] sitting on the other beds.

[277] We're facing each other there in the hotel.

[278] And he looks at me and he says, she's marrying me, not her brother.

[279] And I said anyone that loves her would never ask her to choose.

[280] If you truly loved her, you would want her to be happy.

[281] You would want her brother to be there.

[282] If that's what makes her happy, that's what you would want, if you truly loved her.

[283] He then says, well, my family says that you all need to stay out of it.

[284] I am marrying Gianna, not her family.

[285] I leaned in and I said, Brent, yesterday, my daughter called me in tears because you made her sad.

[286] And today, you and I are sitting together in a hotel room in Utah.

[287] So I need for you to understand at the highest of levels that you are 100 % marrying her family.

[288] He just looked at me. He didn't say one word.

[289] He had this cold, empty look on his face.

[290] He was at least smart enough to not say it, but he was just looking me right in the face like, no, I'm not, lady.

[291] You can just see it.

[292] And the whole time, Gianna never says one word.

[293] Not one word in two hours.

[294] Gianna's a grown woman.

[295] Whatever she decides to tolerate or what she chooses to put up with and take from you is completely up to her.

[296] My job as her mother is to make sure that she has all the facts that the rose -colored glasses come on.

[297] and that she knows I'm on to you.

[298] And no matter what, I will protect her at all costs.

[299] So I'll let her tolerate you as long as she wants to.

[300] But as soon as she gives me the sign, she's out.

[301] And that was pretty much how we left it.

[302] He didn't like that.

[303] I'm watching my daughter sit here and cry.

[304] Literally not a word, which is not her at all.

[305] When I came home, I told my husband, I was like, she has been emotionally spent.

[306] She has been beaten down mentally and emotionally.

[307] You can tell she's trying to be.

[308] be so careful with what she says and doesn't say around him, which is infuriating.

[309] It was like she wasn't even there during this extremely heated conversation.

[310] But any other time, with any other topic, in any other environment, she would have been leading the cause.

[311] I could tell the dynamic.

[312] I knew what was happening.

[313] I came home and I told my husband, we can't support this anymore.

[314] I'm going to tell her that financially we can't support it.

[315] Whatever she needs or wants, we're here for her.

[316] help her, but I'm not paying for anything when it comes to this wedding.

[317] We'd have to tap out of it because I'm not going to let him ride on our dime anymore.

[318] We had flown him out here twice.

[319] We had paid for the entire engagement, all the party, looking back on it, it's like there's givers and takers.

[320] I come to conclusion, whatever happens happens, and I have to come to peace with it, because if we're this far out of the wedding and no plans are being made and it doesn't seem like my fiance is too stressed about it.

[321] If this falls through, it's probably what is best.

[322] We went to another volleyball activity with a bunch of YSAA young single adults.

[323] One of his friends that I met at the same time as him, we were sitting together and she was like, did you see when you sat over by that girl and your fiance?

[324] She was not happy when you sat down beside them.

[325] It's like, no, I didn't notice.

[326] She was like, yeah, she is flirting so hard with him.

[327] And you look over and sure enough she is.

[328] He was just sitting there talking and laughing.

[329] Like, it wasn't any big deal.

[330] She was like, does he have maybe a promise ring or something you can give him?

[331] I was like, yeah, he has one.

[332] He just forgets it all the time.

[333] But, you know, if I forgot my ring, it's a big issue.

[334] We ended up going to our cars later that night.

[335] And the friend girl that pointed that situation out to me was with my fiance and I buy his car.

[336] We were kind of joking with him.

[337] Like, what was that back there?

[338] You need to be more assertive and don't let girls flirt with you.

[339] He was saying, that's nonsense.

[340] You're making it way more big of a deal than it is.

[341] And then he ended up saying later that night, my friend girl texted me, apologizing for getting in our business because it was none of her business.

[342] You're just overreacting.

[343] The girl that was talking to me wasn't flirting.

[344] She was just being nice.

[345] It was just a constant battle because I would say I'm a very independent and secure person and I saw a very vulnerable side to me during this whole relationship.

[346] He made me feel completely whack and insecure and that was crazy whenever I bring up a situation that may be uncomfortable.

[347] I remember texting our other roommate saying, I feel like I don't even know Gianna right now.

[348] I'm not mad at her, but I feel like she doesn't talk to me anymore.

[349] I don't know what's going on and I feel like something is going on.

[350] I felt that two months beforehand, but I never really said anything about it because no matter what me and Eden would say to her, she always just told us she was very happy and she's very happy that she's with Brent and that she's in a good place and that she's excited.

[351] I was like, there's no point in me saying anything because she seems very happy.

[352] So maybe my gut feeling is just off.

[353] We had come home from church and I was cooking and I had tried to FaceTime her.

[354] It was this feeling.

[355] I haven't heard from Gianna in a few days.

[356] I need to reach out to her.

[357] It was still weird.

[358] It was not our normal dynamic.

[359] So do I call?

[360] Do I not call?

[361] Do I push?

[362] Do I not push?

[363] That's still the zone we were living in.

[364] I chose to go ahead and faceTime her and she did not answer.

[365] Then I tried to call her and she did not answer.

[366] It was a Sunday, so I thought, oh, maybe they're at church or doing some kind of activity after church.

[367] So I really didn't think too much of it.

[368] The situation escalated very quickly like it normally does.

[369] It seems like he could not handle any situation that dealt with high emotions.

[370] I was making breakfast.

[371] He was laying on the couch and I asked him to come over and eat.

[372] He ate and he took his plate and walked off and he didn't take my plate.

[373] The kitchen is pretty small.

[374] I wasn't too far from the sink.

[375] I just reached over the counter and handed it to him.

[376] He said it would be so much easier to clean up if you could learn how to clean while you're cooking.

[377] I said, do you mind just saying thank you and helping me with the dishes and cleaning up, that would be great.

[378] He said, I don't truly appreciate how you're wanting me to clean and cook and also telling me what to do when really you should reciprocate back by helping me clean.

[379] I cooked us breakfast.

[380] He's like, you're just lazy.

[381] You never want to clean.

[382] I said that is not the reason whatsoever.

[383] I was getting pretty upset at this moment because he couldn't own up to saying, you know what, I'm sorry.

[384] I do need to help you clean.

[385] He could not say it.

[386] I said, why can't you help me clean?

[387] And that's the end of it.

[388] Why are you so mad right now?

[389] He said, I don't want to talk about it.

[390] I'm done talking about it.

[391] We need to get dressed and ready for church.

[392] He said, okay, well, I need to finish up.

[393] I was prepping some fish.

[394] I was in the kitchen doing that, and he was in the living room laying on the couch.

[395] And I could hear him mumbling, something underneath his breath.

[396] I thought he was done with the argument, but he was not done.

[397] I said, what are you saying?

[398] I'd rather talk about it face to face.

[399] If something is bothering you, please tell me. He would not.

[400] But he kept mumbling underneath his breath ignoring me. And so I kept saying, it's okay, honey, please stop.

[401] It's okay.

[402] And he got mad at me for that.

[403] I kept saying it over and over.

[404] Like, please just stop.

[405] It's okay.

[406] He went upstairs.

[407] He changed in his church clothes.

[408] I go up there after him, and I try giving him a hug, and he pushed me off him.

[409] I was like, is wrong.

[410] Why did me asking you to clean upset you so much?

[411] I'm really trying to understand why you get upset so quickly, but it makes no sense.

[412] I really like to have a good Sunday.

[413] I want to cook his breakfast and have a good day.

[414] I don't want this to ruin the whole day.

[415] I was trying to touch him and comfort him because that's what he likes.

[416] That's how he receives love.

[417] And I was trying to get better at that.

[418] And so I'm trying to comfort him.

[419] And I just said, please, Please tell me what is wrong.

[420] And he was like, don't fucking touch me, you fucking bitch.

[421] I'm done with you.

[422] We're over.

[423] I'm done.

[424] Then after that, he had my laptop charger, and he threw it down on top of my trash can.

[425] It made a loud noise.

[426] I was like, why are you doing stuff?

[427] He was like, I'm done.

[428] To me, that means he's done.

[429] He's done with it.

[430] He's over.

[431] He's like, I'm going to church.

[432] My friend's picking me up.

[433] You can do whatever you want.

[434] And I said, so you're just going to leave me. my room while you go to church and act like everything is fine and how you talk to me was fine.

[435] That's what I'm thinking in my head.

[436] I didn't say that at the time because I had no idea what to say.

[437] He ends up leaving.

[438] Audrey was actually there in the house.

[439] I had no idea she was there.

[440] She said she had AirPods in and she didn't hear everything that happened, but she heard the front door slam when he left.

[441] I remember being in my room because the kitchen and living room is below where my bedroom was when we lived together.

[442] Through my AirPods, I could hear Brent's voice.

[443] I was like, well, that's kind of weird.

[444] Maybe they're laughing.

[445] So I took my AirPods out.

[446] And then I hear him yelling.

[447] I couldn't hear exactly what words he was saying.

[448] So I put my ear to the floor because I was actually really concerned because I could hear Gianna saying, please calm down, please stop, just sit down, listen, talk to me, please calm down.

[449] I heard her say, please calm down about five times.

[450] I didn't really know what to do.

[451] I ended up telling her what happened.

[452] I was like, I think it's over.

[453] It's done.

[454] This is what he said.

[455] She was like, no way he just said that to you.

[456] I said, yep, he did say that.

[457] She was gone by then.

[458] She wasn't in the house.

[459] This was me calling her.

[460] She was like, I'm grabbing you a few things, and then I will be home as soon as possible.

[461] I said, okay, I'm just going to go out for a drive real quick, let off some steam.

[462] and as I get in the car, I guess he was done with church by then, because an hour went by, and he was trying to grab some of his stuff that was in my truck.

[463] That was when he pushed my hand off his shoulder.

[464] There was an incident prior to that when we were at his friend family's house where he was staying, and he did push me, and I fell to the floor in the dining room and chair knocked over, and he was completely unfazed.

[465] He left me there, walked downstairs like nothing happened.

[466] I mentioned him pushing me like that.

[467] He pushed me to the ground, and he denied it.

[468] That happened previously, but he'd shoved my hand off him.

[469] He didn't want me on him.

[470] He was very upset, and I could tell I probably shouldn't be near him at this moment.

[471] He comes in my window.

[472] He's like, pop your trunk.

[473] And I said, are we not going to talk about what just happened?

[474] You totally flipped out on me. He was like, I just need you to pop the trunk and he reached in my car, popped the trunk, got his things out, put them in his car, and started driving off.

[475] I was like, okay, I guess it's really over.

[476] He's not even wanting to talk about it because most times he'll drive off or go away and then he'll want to come back and talk about things.

[477] After he drove off, I parked the car.

[478] My mom's wanting to know what's going on because I sent them this text and I can read it if you would like me too.

[479] I said, just wanted to let you guys know, Brent and I are done.

[480] I've been struggling mentally the past nine months and it has been walking on eggshells constantly.

[481] I always felt less than.

[482] He talked down on me. He judged me and he would call me everything he could to make himself feel better.

[483] I know nothing will ruin what is meant for me and I know my soulmate would never walk out on me. I know I need to stop worrying about what I could have done or said differently because I know it's not my fault.

[484] For the longest time, I thought I could change him and fall in love with him and not that idea of him.

[485] But I am hurting right now so much and asking God what I did to deserve this.

[486] I know there are things I need to think over and I'm struggling with what to do next in my life, but I do need some space to find myself again and understand my purpose.

[487] I want to try and be the best daughter and sister that I can for you guys.

[488] Just know that I'll be okay.

[489] It'll just take some time.

[490] I'm sorry for any stress and struggles that I've caused, and I hope one day you can forgive me. I love you guys so much.

[491] Please know that.

[492] Then my dad texted and said, call us Gianna.

[493] My mom tried calling and I didn't answer.

[494] She basically spilled it all in that text, right?

[495] It's been a really rough eight months.

[496] It's been constant arguing.

[497] I walk on eggshells.

[498] He is demeaning.

[499] He belittles me. He speaks bad to me. He calls me now.

[500] names, and I'm just done with it.

[501] And at that point, that's all we knew.

[502] What we see in this text, that's all we know is that he is verbally abusive.

[503] We immediately are trying to call her.

[504] She doesn't answer.

[505] So I called her roommate, Audrey, and she answered.

[506] And I said, okay, what's going on?

[507] She starts to tell me the story of how he's kind of come and gone and that there was just a lot of screaming and yelling.

[508] That's when my mom simply said, you need to lock the doors, He may want to come back and talk over things, but he truly messed up this time, and there's just no going back.

[509] There's no more saying sorry and trying to work on things.

[510] He truly messed up.

[511] This was her talking to Audrey.

[512] I told her mom, I don't even know what's happening.

[513] I know they got in an argument, but I'm not sure what's happened in the past couple hours since I've been gone.

[514] Then I start getting a call from Brent on Facebook Messenger.

[515] I guess he was trying to call everybody to try to get to Gianna.

[516] I declined his call.

[517] We go inside, we close the garage, and she's telling me, like, I think she's going to come back.

[518] We need to make sure that he doesn't come in.

[519] I don't want to see him.

[520] I'm scared.

[521] I don't want to talk to him.

[522] I'm like, okay, sounds good.

[523] He calls multiple times.

[524] Won't stop calling her.

[525] Won't stop texting her.

[526] Calls me again.

[527] Texting everybody.

[528] Text her mom.

[529] I wasn't talking to anyone at the time.

[530] the time.

[531] I simply went up to my room and started throwing things away.

[532] I had printed out huge canvases that we did engagement photos for.

[533] I threw those in the trash.

[534] I threw anything I could think of in the trash right away.

[535] He ended up coming to the house, wanting to talk and apologize.

[536] And he texted me saying, you're going to regret not coming out to talk to me. We hear a knock on the door, and we're like, oh, it's him.

[537] We run to the front door, and she's not yelling, but she's kind of being loud with him and asking so kindly.

[538] She's like, please leave me alone.

[539] You really hurt my feelings today.

[540] I don't want to talk to you.

[541] You need to go.

[542] What you did is done.

[543] Please go.

[544] He would not, and he tried moving that key and opening that door.

[545] And eventually the lock broke because we're holding the door back.

[546] Both me and Gianna have to hold the door close.

[547] He's like, I just want to talk.

[548] I don't think you understand a couple hours ago was a mistake.

[549] I want to apologize.

[550] And Gianna keeps saying, I gave you the chance to apologize and you never took it.

[551] So I don't want to speak to you.

[552] I felt scared mostly because he was trying to push his weight in.

[553] And compared to both me and Gianna, he's huge.

[554] I don't know if he's 6 '5 or 6 '4, but he's an athlete.

[555] He's tall.

[556] He's muscular.

[557] He honestly could have broken.

[558] broken down our door, and it's just the two of us girls.

[559] I was scared.

[560] He just keeps trying to come in.

[561] Finally, after maybe two to three minutes, he kind of calms down, he walks away.

[562] I told my parents, and they freaked out, obviously.

[563] He had broken a key off in the doorknop.

[564] Where is he now?

[565] When he drove off, but I think he's coming back.

[566] Where are you all?

[567] And Audrey was in her car, and Gianna was in her car in the driveway of their town home.

[568] I said, if you would, please just get in the house, lock the doors, and I'm going to try to call Brent.

[569] I called Brent, and I acted like I didn't know anything.

[570] He answers.

[571] I said, hey, have you seen Gianna?

[572] I've been trying to call her and FaceTime her, and I can't get a hold of her.

[573] He said, oh, yeah, she's here, she's here.

[574] I said, she's there with you?

[575] Oh, yeah, she's here.

[576] We're in the car.

[577] I said, okay, let me talk to her.

[578] And he goes, oh, no, no, no, no, no. Actually, she's not here with me. She's at her house.

[579] I just went to church and I'm on my way there now.

[580] I said, what?

[581] Why would you say she's with you if she's, oh, I just, no, it's fine.

[582] I'm all my way there.

[583] And I said, okay, well, when you get there, could you have her call me?

[584] And he said, oh, yeah, I can.

[585] I'll do that.

[586] I'll do that.

[587] I'll do that.

[588] Love you guys.

[589] And he hangs up until my husband and I are here, look at each other.

[590] the phone was on speaker and like, what was that?

[591] What was that?

[592] First of all, he just acts like, nothing's wrong.

[593] Did he think I wasn't going to ask to talk to my daughter?

[594] Clearly unstable.

[595] I have no idea.

[596] I think it caught him off guard and he didn't know what to say.

[597] Normally, I think he's pretty well scripted as far as how he's going to handle situations and he was not ready for that.

[598] I go outside of the house and I'm like, hi, this is causing lots of problems.

[599] You are on our property.

[600] You don't even live here.

[601] You broke the house key that belongs to us, so you need to leave.

[602] And he, it honestly blew my mind because he's like, I am so sorry.

[603] Tell Gianna that I love her and that I would never hurt her.

[604] He looks at me and he's like, come on, Andre, you know I would never hurt Gianna.

[605] I just want to make sure that she knows she's loved saying all the nicest things that you could ever imagine.

[606] I'm like, no Brent, you need to leave.

[607] Gianna said he had her laptop.

[608] I didn't care about the laptop.

[609] What I cared about was that her laptop was connected to her phone and her email, and he would have access to all of her information if he kept her laptop.

[610] So I wanted that back.

[611] I wanted it away from him.

[612] I said, look, if you don't return her laptop within 30 minutes, I'm going to call the police, then I'm going to call your family and let them know what you've done.

[613] Because at this point, we are now talking back and forth.

[614] We're on the phone with Gianna.

[615] She's starting to tell us things.

[616] He gets rough with me. He calls me names.

[617] He yells.

[618] He had done this.

[619] And then goes to church.

[620] Everything's fine.

[621] I'm just going to go to church.

[622] And then I'm going to come back and we'll fight some more.

[623] He was saying, if you give me the ring back, I'll give you the laptop back.

[624] I laid the ring in the box out on the front porch.

[625] He ended up not coming by to trade.

[626] My mom called him and said, if you don't bring her belongings in 15 minutes, then.

[627] I'm going to call the police because you already tried breaking into the home.

[628] You were yelling and screaming at her.

[629] Police bring back her belongings.

[630] And all he said was thank you.

[631] And he never came.

[632] So she called the police.

[633] They ended up calling him.

[634] He finally came.

[635] The police officer said that he felt such remorse and he felt terrible for what he did.

[636] He was on the break of tears.

[637] I said, you know, he has pulled this before.

[638] He has treated me this way.

[639] before, and I think it was a breaking point where I said, no, I'm not going to do it anymore.

[640] We swapped items.

[641] He took the ring, and I took the laptop.

[642] We were still on FaceTime after the police had come.

[643] Brett gets his stuff, and then he goes and sits in his car, and he just sits there.

[644] The police officer is like, what is he doing?

[645] Nobody knows what he's doing.

[646] He won't leave.

[647] They had to go and force him to leave.

[648] Did he think he was going to go back and talk to her after the police left?

[649] no reasoning was all over the place.

[650] With the police there, he's like crying.

[651] And I'm like, well, 30 minutes ago, he was laughing and acting like my daughter was in the car with him.

[652] And now we're crying because we're in front of the police.

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[662] He called me and we talked forever.

[663] And then we actually ended up meeting later that night in person.

[664] I said to him, I cannot go back to this no matter how much I want to, how much we love each other.

[665] can't be treated like this ever again and it was oh well we can restart we can make it work i know that i truly messed up but we can make this work and i said no we can't make this work what you have done is done i've tried covering it up for months now i've tried defending you in every situation and i can't anymore i said not everyone may know what is going on between us or our relationship but my close friends know, my family has noticed, and I'm not the same anymore.

[666] I'm not happy.

[667] I don't deserve to be treated this way.

[668] And you need to seek help, no matter if it's therapy or talking to someone, you need to go seek help because you can't treat anyone like this again.

[669] That's when my mom then she flew out to Utah and she helped me pack up all my things.

[670] I ended up moving back to Kentucky.

[671] My mom and I flew back the week of July 29th, and we packed everything up and left.

[672] That was how quickly she was able to get me out of that situation and back with family.

[673] It was unreal.

[674] I notoriously a fixer.

[675] It's what I do.

[676] When somebody needs something or something needs to be done, they know they can call me and it's going to happen.

[677] And this was not something I could fix.

[678] And it really rocked my world.

[679] The fact that I couldn't take care of the situation.

[680] and that it was my daughter.

[681] It made it all the worse that I wasn't able to fix this for her.

[682] I knew she needed to work through it on her own and in her own time.

[683] Certainly if we had known the severity of what was going on, we would have absolutely intervened sooner.

[684] I know that this experience has definitely changed her.

[685] I know that this will serve her well in her next relationship, that there are certain boundaries and certain lines that aren't crossed.

[686] You should never feel the way he made her feel.

[687] If someone loves you, truly and fully loves you, they aren't going to call you names.

[688] They aren't going to put their hands on you in any way, other than to love you or caress you.

[689] When you're young and you've not had experiences in relationships, differentiating all those feelings and how do I categorize these things and label these things?

[690] I think you're still trying to figure out a lot.

[691] Especially in the church, I feel like the situation I was in happens all the time.

[692] I can only imagine how often it is happening and how often young men and young women are pressured to get married, get married fast, so there's no temptations sexually.

[693] Actually, that's a huge thing in the church.

[694] And I would say, take your time, make sure you truly understand the person you're with.

[695] See all sides of them, all their insecurities and vulnerabilities.

[696] That is so important.

[697] And when you have that gut feeling that it is wrong, then it's just time to step away.

[698] Because it is not worth it.

[699] I cannot have imagined carrying that relationship on my shoulders for the rest of my life and still trying to hold this image of we're this happy Christian couple that is following the church standards and we're going to church together and we're participating in temple sessions together.

[700] Everything's great.

[701] We pray together.

[702] Yes, we did do those things and we did those things often, but we also didn't have a healthy relationship.

[703] Even if you are a LDS couple in the church who is married and you're young or old and you are not being treated how you should be treated but you feel like you need to sit back and hush because you have to listen to the pre -sit holder of the family that is not true but listen to your gut listen to your heart and just know that you truly know yourself the best and you know what you deserve thank you so much for taking the time to share your story I really can't thank you enough.

[704] Of course.

[705] Thank you for letting me share and speak with you.

[706] Absolutely.

[707] It's an honor.

[708] Thank you so much for listening.

[709] Until next time, stay safe, friends.

[710] Something Was Wrong is a Broken Cycle Media production, created and hosted by me, Tiffany Reese.

[711] If you'd like to support the show further, you can share episodes with your loved ones, leave a positive review, or follow Something Was Wrong on Instagram.

[712] At Something Was Wrong podcast.

[713] Our theme song was composed by Gladrags.

[714] Check out their album, Wonder Under.

[715] Thank you so much.

[716] If you like Something Was Wrong, you can listen early and ad -free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

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