#1813 - Tony Hinchcliffe

[0] Joe Rogan podcast, checking out.

[1] The Joe Rogan Experience.

[2] Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night.

[3] All day.

[4] We're up.

[5] All day, I've been trying to recover from yesterday, drinking with Stanhope.

[6] Oh, yeah.

[7] He's a fun one to hang out with, huh?

[8] We did a podcast, like, right when he was coming out of the pandemic, and I think I was probably sober or mostly sober during the podcast, and it just didn't.

[9] It just felt off.

[10] It felt clunky.

[11] And he felt like that too.

[12] So I'm like, this one, I'm going to make sure we do it right.

[13] And I just got blasted with him.

[14] We just drank whiskey and got fucked up and talked for like, how long was it?

[15] Three and a half hours.

[16] Wow.

[17] And a couple of pee breaks and just obliterated.

[18] I don't remember half what we talked about.

[19] He's so fun.

[20] Yeah.

[21] Last night was incredible.

[22] Last night was insane.

[23] Yeah.

[24] Let's tell everybody, first of all, let's tell everybody you're going to be in Phoenix this weekend and stand -up live.

[25] um which is an awesome club uh and maybe i'll drop in on friday because i'm going to be there for the ufc beautiful let's have some fun we'll have some fun uh the great and powerful william montgomery will be there as well uh and then uh last night we do a show at vulcan and who goes on stage with us but mother fucking rosan bar wow what a clinic she hadn't been on stage in years and years and it and she killed just as hard as anybody God, the round of applause she got when she went up there.

[26] Natural freak talent.

[27] Killing the whole time, getting little tiny standing ovations throughout.

[28] Totally like the way she moved, the way she talked, her pacing, her timing felt so natural and conversational.

[29] But she wasn't even planning on going up.

[30] Yeah.

[31] This is what's crazy.

[32] She hadn't gone on stage in years.

[33] And she did it.

[34] And then afterwards, she felt fucking great.

[35] She was hanging out in the green room.

[36] She was all fired up.

[37] Yeah.

[38] And she's like, I want to fucking move here.

[39] Yeah.

[40] She's the best.

[41] She belongs here.

[42] She's the vibe.

[43] Yeah.

[44] Well, her daughter lives here.

[45] So I think we got a real good shot of getting her here.

[46] I hope so.

[47] Oh, my God.

[48] She is, I mean.

[49] I was not what special.

[50] It really was.

[51] Doug Stanhope.

[52] Ron White.

[53] You, Hans Kim, Roseanne Barr, and me. Yep.

[54] What a fucking lineup.

[55] What a fucking lineup.

[56] So fun.

[57] Hey, you want to know something funny about this picture?

[58] see that bottle that Stanhope has of mineral water?

[59] Well, there's cigarettes in there.

[60] You see that?

[61] Yes.

[62] A few minutes after this picture was taken, he took a huge gulp of that, forgetting that it was an ashtray.

[63] And he handled it so funny.

[64] He made sure everybody knew, and he made a funny face.

[65] And, like, he really milked it, like a real comedian.

[66] We found out yesterday that Stanhope had COVID, and he never even knew.

[67] He goes, I've been dealing with COVID -like symptoms for the last 30 years.

[68] That's 30 years of being hung over 30 years of being hammered Mostly every day The rare breed You know how many comedians fail Because he drinks on stage There's so many comedians That think they can drink on stage And do good because of him Or they could be like him Yeah But they don't have a point Right Like he writes You think about Doug Stanhope Is Doug Stanhope may be a guy Who loves to drink he is like fuck maybe he's he's a guy loves a drink yeah but he also loves to write he writes a lot he's got laptops sits down with it he makes notes drinks coffee smoke cigarettes writes he is dedicated to being a comic and a writer he writes and that's a lot of the guys that go on tour and try to emulate that thing they leave out part of it they leave out that part you know there's uh i've been into this audio book by stephen pressfield The War of Art, I just finished it, and now I'm on his other book that he has.

[69] It's a similar sort of vein.

[70] It's called Turning Pro.

[71] But one of the things in Turning Pro, it's like talking about the things that people do to distract them from the work.

[72] And that one of the things they'll do is that a lot of people who, they romanticize the lifestyle of being like a rock and roll star, right?

[73] out on the road, but they're doing the drugs and, you know, they're boozing and partying.

[74] That's like part of the lifestyle, but what they're not doing is the writing.

[75] They're not doing the work.

[76] They're not being a pro.

[77] They're just distracting themselves with the nonsense aspects of it, the partying aspects of it, not the getting better at the art form aspects of it.

[78] Stanhope has a good balance.

[79] He writes a lot.

[80] Like, you know, you see him and he's got points.

[81] there'll be something new about anything that's going on that's pertinent that's in the news he's got new bits yeah it uh that's sort of what you're saying sort of reminds me of david tell who you know i feel like amongst comedians is considered one of the best in the world right now well the best of all time yeah and um you know he was the party guy forever yeah right the insomniac going out up everywhere And I remember, I mean, well, first of all, he's sober now, but I remember when I got to work at the comedy store when I started working there 15 years ago.

[82] I was also working to make extra money at a coffee shop right next to it.

[83] And I would work really, really, really early mornings, like this 6 a .m. to 11 a .m. shift because then I would go work phones at the comedy store all day and then at the comedy store at night.

[84] So I was just working all day.

[85] Anyway, there was a lot of times where I would be at the comedy store until 2 .30 a .m. And until, if he was visiting from New York, would be there, you know, watching or going up or hanging out or both.

[86] And I would work these shifts four hours later at Starbucks.

[87] And he would be there, reading the newspaper with a notebook, like literally grinding and grueling out the work.

[88] Not on his cell phone reading, like absorbing actual paper.

[89] you know reading material and kicking out writing immediately like a like someone who's about to start not like someone who's a 20 30 year veteran of the game and he takes it that seriously and it shows continuously throughout his work you know everybody that is great is doing the work yeah there's no substitute there's no substitute in the the universe rewards you like life rewards you for the amount of effort you put into something.

[90] The amount of tension and focus you put into something will be represented in how good you get at it.

[91] It doesn't mean that everybody starts from the same place.

[92] Some people have more natural talent.

[93] Some people have more natural insight.

[94] Some people are just funnier when they start.

[95] But it is really about the amount of time and focus you put in how much better you get.

[96] There's a lot of people that have like maybe a natural personality for stand -up, but they're lazy and they don't get much better because they don't write.

[97] And so they kind of develop this sort of passable act and never really improve upon it because they don't spend the time doing it whereas someone who wasn't as good as them initially would be far better than them at the end yeah it's just time it's time and focus i think that would apply to everything i think it apply to fucking playing the guitar or writing books or whatever the fuck you're doing it's time and effort time and effort and there's no substitute for those things and thinking and being you know really thinking like being honest about what you're doing You know, looking at it and go, God, is this good?

[98] Like, let me look at this again.

[99] Let me look at this with fresh eyes.

[100] Let me go walk around the block and think about it, you know.

[101] That's part of it, too.

[102] One of the things that Pressfield talked about is also something that Stephen King would talk about is that he would write and then he would go for walks after the writing, which is very common amongst writers.

[103] They like to go for walks afterwards and review the notes in their head.

[104] And Pressfield would take a little recorder with them, but obviously you could use your phone and just use the voice memos and just talk.

[105] into your phone and say you know I've this thing about page five I feel like this is off or chapter six is you know a little flat maybe maybe this is a new solution yeah walking helps a lot no doubt it's one of those things that we would do in the writers room a bunch of sloppy lazy bum writers in the roast writers room would we don't have to take a break because it's the blood just circulates around your head yeah all day and then after four or five hours especially after lunch you You have to get the things rolling again.

[106] So, yeah, it changes perspective.

[107] But most importantly, it just really gets the blood flowing.

[108] Especially after lunch if you're eating bread.

[109] Yeah.

[110] Guys who eat sandwiches, like big sub sandwiches for lunch, they're useless after lunch.

[111] It's so true.

[112] And I remember we used to literally order from a place called.

[113] I don't know if it still exists in L .A., but it was called It's All About the Bread.

[114] And it was the thickest, because it was Jeff Ross's show, basically, in his office.

[115] And we know, like, anybody that knows anything about Jeff knows.

[116] doesn't give a fuck about what he eats like he he's always smashing food he has the fastest metabolism out of anybody in the world how's that possible i don't know but he's so big he's big that goes to show you how much he eats i mean the man is always snacking on something really yeah he just burns it by whatever thinking all the time or whatever's going on but uh oh so there was just no there was no like let's eat something healthy today like he doesn't give a fuck so we used to order from this place it's all about the bread and we would all crash so hard we would have to drink seven cups of coffee to even come back from it but it was like a drug it's like doing like bread heroin or something in the afternoon time yeah sandwiches are the worst for that yeah like a big sub sandwich because you think about like when do you ever eat a piece of bread that big right never and then a piece of bread that big stuffed with meat and cheese and fucking mayonnaise and this was like a baguette I remember the exterior was hard it was like very texture, like, tough, and tons of bread in between the starting point and that hard outer shells.

[117] Your body has to break all that down.

[118] It's just glue in your stomach, just clogging up your brain.

[119] But meanwhile, if Jeff eats something like that, he gets like, he turns into like the Incredible Hulk for like 25 minutes after that.

[120] Like everybody's just dying of laughter about anything, whatever happens.

[121] He's a special guy.

[122] So he just gets excited about the food, and that makes him happy, and then he's funnier.

[123] 100%.

[124] Yeah.

[125] Stanhope and I were talking about this yesterday because Stanhope had no idea that he had COVID.

[126] We were talking about this.

[127] I remember in like the brief flashes that I can remember of our drunken conversation.

[128] I was like, I wonder how much of a factor stress plays into people getting sick.

[129] Because how is he okay?

[130] Stanhope chain smokes, drinks constantly.

[131] Yeah.

[132] He's basically my age, a couple months old.

[133] than me and nothing's wrong with him allegedly hasn't been to a doctor in years like in forever he goes why would you go they just fucking give you a bad news he goes just fucking live until it breaks that's like his thought process just live until his body breaks it was interesting uh watching him go face to face with ron white last night and the first thing that ron said to him was Doug i'm sorry I couldn't I couldn't fight the fight anymore for us drunks like he was like apologizing to Doug for having to back out of the game you know Ron after 50 years of daily tequila drinking's like we wish I could still be in the fight with you my friend meanwhile here's the thing like just like David Tell Ron White is better than ever yeah Ron White is on fire right now and I've never seen like he's always been a great comic but I've never seen him better and I think the same about David Tell David Tell when he stopped drinking Like I remember his booze and days He was always great But he's better now He's better now And there's a thing Where like people think that the booze Is what helps them It makes them loose And it makes them relaxed And yeah I mean It could kind of help a little bit It can get you loose It can But not if it's a problem Not if it's an alcohol problem Not if like you need to drink all the time Or you need to be drunk For you to be able to go on stage none of those things are good and the thing is about it wrecks your fucking body man it wrecks your body it takes away all of your vitality and so when it takes away your vitality your energy to create is like it's compromised your energy to just live life and to have inspired thoughts you're fucking hurting all the time which is even more impressive how stanhope and ron white were so good for all those years yeah it sort of goes both ways i feel like the there's almost kind of an art and we see this right with a lot of these guys that i think there's almost something to the art of getting wasted and laying in bed the next day thinking about what's next i'm not positive of what chapelle's writing process is at all but i have a feeling that he's thinking about stuff while recovering the next morning because when else would he do it and by morning i mean basically afternoon, right?

[134] Because he goes hard in the pain.

[135] He has a lot of fun.

[136] And, you know, we see it on stage all the time.

[137] At the comedy store, he would, you know, just plow through bottles of corona.

[138] Another corona, another corona, another corona.

[139] And he stays in the zone.

[140] He's hilarious.

[141] But obviously, he's not coming up with this stuff right off the top of his head in the moment.

[142] The magician always has his stuff set up.

[143] Right.

[144] So, like, there's almost something to.

[145] And I'd be interested to know, maybe you know what Doug's process is.

[146] but it seems like laying in bed that next morning with a hangover and thinking of something that really stands out to you might sort of be good for that art form because if you can make it funny then, if you could think about it then with a headache and your body's sore and you don't want to get out of bed, then it must be funny, right?

[147] Does that kind of make sense?

[148] Kind of.

[149] What Doug does, one of the things that Doug does is his podcast.

[150] And Doug's podcast is basically, I mean, occasionally he has guests on, but oftentimes it's just him and his buddies right so they're all hanging around the house and they have you know they're at the fun house and they have the setup there and it's basically dug holding court talking about things and in a similar vein to the way bill burr creates on his podcast because bill burr is one of the most prolific comics and i'm pretty sure the way he writes is he thinks about stuff he has things to piss him off and then he goes on his podcast and rants about him.

[151] And in that ranting, the constant ranting, he creates these things that are like, oh, there's like a glimmer of light in that.

[152] There's like a beacon of hope in this bit.

[153] Let me turn that into an actual routine.

[154] And then he'll, I've seen him on stage and I've seen stuff that I've listened to him talk about on his podcast.

[155] He then brings to the stage and he refines it and he makes it better.

[156] Yeah, he's incredible.

[157] I once made the, I once made an interesting rookie mistake when I was again back when I was a door guy at the store he uh I had never spoken with him before really and I had never said anything to him and he said hi to me one night after he performed on stage and it absolutely killed so hard I can't remember what the news story was at the time but something had just happened days earlier and he was killing for 10 minutes about it and he came up and he said hi as I'm on the stool on his way to his car in the parking lot i'm working the back door and since he said hi to me i decided to engage and i said something like hey man i just want to let you know that was amazing up there it's crazy how easily you could take something that just happened and and kill with it like that and he goes easy i'm like yeah he goes there's nothing easy about that i've been writing every day since that happened for the last three days from nine to four p .m. I've been writing so while you've been doing whatever you've been doing like nothing is easy there's nothing easy about it I sat down and I wrote all that like he like taught me like an amazing lesson yeah really cool I was just trying to give him this compliment and instead he gave me you know a really really great insight on how that world works and you see it with the last dance you know Jordan practicing all the time staying after practice arriving early to practice it's a constant the same with the Tiger Woods documentary you find out oh oh all he does is practice all these people that do all these things it's work that's also another book that I've finished again recently that I reread is Malcolm Gladwell's outliers same thing putting in the time like what makes someone exceptional what makes someone stand out from anyone else and one of the things he talked about is the Beatles and how often the Beatles would play when they were in Hamburg that they would play eight hours day and they were constantly playing they were constantly playing so when they went back to liverpool years later they're like fucking phenomenally better yeah yeah it's just time time and effort and and inspiration and and being fired up to do something you know we were talking about this yesterday that one of things that happened during the pandemic was a lot of people realized that comedy was almost taken away from everybody because it was for a little bit there was no comedy for a little bit and that time it made you really sit and reflect that comedy's been a weekly part of our lives except for rare occasions.

[158] Like, rare occasions where you take a little bit of a time off, you know?

[159] Yeah, our friends, The Nether Hour, they totally started everything that they did together during the pandemic.

[160] Like, they didn't, they had never even played together.

[161] Really?

[162] Those guys?

[163] And they're like, you're a bass player, you're a, yeah.

[164] No way.

[165] So it was totally formed.

[166] That's crazy because those guys are so good together.

[167] Yeah.

[168] And they have all those original songs, and they are.

[169] you know writing and performing all the time but when you said that thing about the beetles in hamburg it made me think of that because they were like locked in together every single day and all they had were their instruments so like what else did they have to do that was it that's where it's at man it's just getting obsessed with stuff you know we've been doing so many shows lately like didn't you feel that way in colorado like after we had done like four shows on a weekend like we're getting locked in yeah you know because we're just doing so many sets It's so much stage time and so many people, so many different crowds you're experiencing.

[170] You know, so we did Sunday, we did Tuesday, Wednesday, and then we flew out to Colorado and did Friday and Saturday in Colorado.

[171] So it just bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

[172] And you did Monday too because Kill Tony.

[173] Yeah.

[174] So bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

[175] It's like, you know, we're so lucky, dude.

[176] Comedy's a fucking amazing thing.

[177] It really is an amazing thing.

[178] So much fun.

[179] So this fucking Dave Chappelle thing's crazy.

[180] uh last night i guess it was someone attacked him at the hollywood bowl he's fine i checked in with him today he was laughing about it he's uh in good spirits he was there's a video actually he's he was laughing like right afterwards yeah because jamy fox apparently had a cowboy hat and he jumped on stage to help jimmy fucks with a cowboy hat jumped on stage to fuck that dude up the guy was uh five foot that that arm's broken by the way that arm's fucked there is also like the way they led him into the um the like when he got into the actual stretcher you could see he's fucked it's so funny you can tell the type of beat up that somebody is when they're getting kicked on the ground by different from different angles by different people it's a different type of like beat up look yeah you could tell that that left that left side of his face was the side that was either on the ground or totally like away from everything the other side was getting punched.

[181] Everything's swollen on the one side.

[182] Yeah, he's fucked.

[183] That guy, he me, Jesus Christ.

[184] You could tell.

[185] You can always tell because did you, you saw the actual video?

[186] I saw the video.

[187] First of all, Dave Chappelle has good hips.

[188] Yeah?

[189] The guy shoots in on him.

[190] And he kind of turned with him.

[191] He kind of kung food him.

[192] Yeah.

[193] He came a little like Hito.

[194] Have you watched the video?

[195] As the guy's coming in, he's coming in this way, and Dave kind of like turns a little.

[196] And it's balls, too.

[197] Chappelle's a big boy, bigger than you think he is.

[198] Well, the guy's crazy, clearly.

[199] There's something wrong with him.

[200] Look at this.

[201] And I mean, there's just no way to describe how not expecting that you are when you're on stage.

[202] Yeah.

[203] Look at it, he just runs away.

[204] And then the comedian clicks in and he comes back because he's like, wait, I have to, it's my mic right now.

[205] Look at this guy running.

[206] Oh, my God, that guy's never tackled anybody in his life.

[207] No. Chappelle almost makes the clear out all the way Yeah, almost If he just had a little training See, that was all An instinct If he just had a little training Imagine if he just punted That dude in the head When he went down Yeah, one of those Mosvidal knees There is no security In the front row At this thing Like, there should have been someone there That was scanning the audience For fucking weirdos They're ready to sprint Crazy Well, we live in strange times Man And after the Chris Rock thing That was one of the things I was worried about.

[208] I was like, people are thinking they're going to start smacking comedians now?

[209] They don't like what they're saying.

[210] And what I'm thinking or what I'm worried about is that, you know, people think that's justified.

[211] Like people keep, they keep using the same things.

[212] I saw an article.

[213] They said his transphobic statements.

[214] They're not fucking statements.

[215] They're jokes.

[216] They're not jokes that are transphobic either.

[217] They're jokes that feature trans people.

[218] They're not transphobic jokes.

[219] His whole bit in that last special that everybody was mad at is essentially a love letter to his friend that killed herself because she was supporting him and she got attacked on stage.

[220] The idea that that and somehow or another is transphobic just because he's talking about a trans person is fucking crazy.

[221] Right.

[222] And they just don't want to be talked about.

[223] That's essentially what it is.

[224] Like they're saying it's transphobic.

[225] If you're even mentioning trans people as a subject with his.

[226] is bonkers.

[227] Yeah, because it's really the opposite, right?

[228] That means that they're equal.

[229] If you're being included in an American free conversation and obviously a comedy set, like that means that you're part of the everything else.

[230] You're now...

[231] Yeah, I mean, we all, of course, everything's part of the everything else, but it's like, if there's stuff that you cannot discuss at all, because it's so hot, the subject can't be brought up.

[232] Well, this is, we'll, This is a nonsense way of communicating.

[233] You can't communicate it like that.

[234] Right.

[235] You can't say people can't discuss topics.

[236] Right.

[237] Or discuss something that is prominent in culture right now.

[238] I mean, there's a lot of discussions about trans rights and about use of bathrooms and about, you know, trans kids and the White House talks about it.

[239] And Jen Saki was doing an interview and she was crying about it, sort of misrepresenting what the don't say supposedly.

[240] don't say gay bill in Florida, which isn't don't say gay.

[241] You know, this is, it's a weird time because we have to be able to look through the fog, the fog of the anger that we have for the opposite, or the anger we have for the opponent.

[242] Because the way that the Democrats and the way that Republicans look at it today is, there's us and there's them.

[243] And it's so polarized that anytime something comes up, anything, like, well, these these subjects like you want to find out what side is on what side of the issue like is my side on this is okay or is my side on this is a bad thing and that's a lot of what happens with these subjects instead of just being able to look at things and just honestly discuss things things get fit into this polarized lens like somehow or another Biden was talking about that today he was talking about um he was talking about the of Roe versus Wade thing and he said something like what's next are we going to stop LBGTQ kids from going to classes with regular kids and then he said this MAGA group is the most extreme political group in U .S. history so look at the way he connected those like see if you can find that video I believe I can send it to you if you don't if you can't find it You got it?

[244] It is.

[245] But let me see if it says the whole thing he says about LBGTQ kids first, because that's what he says first.

[246] I can send it to you, Jamie.

[247] I have a...

[248] Okay, let me hear it here.

[249] Here it goes.

[250] State changes the law saying that children who are LGBT can't be in classrooms with other children.

[251] Is that legit under the way the decision is written?

[252] what are the next things that are going to be attacked because this mega crowd is really the most extreme political organization that's existed in American history Okay, no, that's a crazy connection What he just did is a crazy connection He went from Roe versus Wade Which I don't know what's happening with that I don't know if that's real It supposedly something was leaked that said they're going to overturn Roe versus Wade I don't, you know, I don't think that's been substantiated.

[253] Has that been substantiated?

[254] I believe it's still, yeah, it was leaked and I don't.

[255] It's not substantiated, though, right?

[256] As far as like an official decision, yeah, I don't think so.

[257] Right.

[258] So you have something that has to do with abortion rights.

[259] So it's women's rights.

[260] And then how does he connect that to MAGA?

[261] Like, how does that, like, look at that way he did that.

[262] Like saying that you cannot have an abortion or abortion is not a federally protected.

[263] thing under row versus weight anymore going from that to saying what if they decide to keep lbg tq kids out of classes to this maga crowds the most extreme political organization in american history like what how did you get there right how did you get to maga yeah because that's the slogan of his opponent i guarantee you there's some never trump republicans that are pro life i guarantee you there's people that don't like the way trump behaves and talks and they they don't think that he's a God -fearing Christian, and there's a lot of those folks out there.

[264] A ton of up.

[265] There's a lot of those folks.

[266] This idea that everybody falls into this, like, it's all the MAGA, it's all the same, like if you have any Republican viewpoints or if you have any conservative viewpoints, that's a sneaky way of connecting any conservative viewpoints with Trump, which is like, you know, half the people are going to hate it.

[267] If you can convince half the people that any idea is a Trump idea, they will immediately hate it.

[268] Half the people, right?

[269] If they're not paying attention, they're just reading headlines.

[270] Half the people will categorize that.

[271] That's a Trump idea.

[272] That's a MAGA thing.

[273] It's kind of an amazing way to dismiss things now.

[274] You know, because it used to be, people could be conservative.

[275] They could be like William F. Buckley, and they could have conservative debates on television with Gore Vidal, and people would think it was normal.

[276] There's a conservative.

[277] There's a liberal.

[278] They're discussing issues.

[279] It's cool.

[280] See what resonates with me more.

[281] Not anymore, baby.

[282] Not anymore.

[283] because now because of this whole Trump thing and the MAGA thing, they have, it's not just conservative versus liberal.

[284] It's like you can put it into this cult of personality, this Trump box, and then you get a 50 % return rate on your investment.

[285] Half the people are going to be like, this is, fuck that.

[286] That's a Trump thing.

[287] That's a MAGA thing.

[288] Yeah, it's super weird.

[289] It's crazy.

[290] I think that he may have said that because maybe he's, you know, preemptively and always, I think he's always going to have to worry about the next election i think he's i think he's having a hard time keeping sentences yeah i think he's having a hard time keeping thought straight in his head and this is um if you know forget about what my feelings are about them putting this guy into the position that he's in which i think was insane i was saying it was insane a couple years ago he's a lot worse now but the thing that gets me is like this is this is just a guy is a human being and we're watching a human being's wiring not work right anymore we're watching bulbs fade out and um i think he's having a real hard time putting sentences together just as a human you know like watching him i feel bad for the guy because i feel i feel like imagine being in that position and he this is his moment in the sun the lights are on the preparation's been done all the fucking rehearsals for this the the cue cards are written he's ready to give the speech and he's just barely keeping it together not only does he never improvise and never go off the script or never, you know, tweet a crazy feeling that he has about something or anything instinctual that's actually him.

[291] I mean, we can feel that.

[292] Anybody can notice that.

[293] But they're using like all these little tricks.

[294] I thought to myself the other day because I was watching one where he just got out of the helicopter and they're doing, it's chaos behind him.

[295] Dum, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, right?

[296] You know, they do these?

[297] Why do they do that?

[298] So the priorities can't yell questions.

[299] That so that if he, no, I'm serious.

[300] This is, oh, if he can't hear, then he really can't hear.

[301] If he seems overwhelmed, it's because of the sound of the chopper.

[302] But I'm like, that's how he is in a quiet room on a fake set behind a podium, struggling to answer this, that.

[303] But they do that a lot.

[304] Right on the runway, I know.

[305] They did it with Trump, too.

[306] Yeah, but I think it's a little tricky.

[307] I think that's what they do when they want to give someone like a little bit of an escape, a little bit of an excuse.

[308] Well, for the longest time, he would just walk away, remember?

[309] Yeah.

[310] They were just asking questions.

[311] And then there was no press conferences.

[312] And I feel bad for that Jen Socky lady.

[313] And, you know, and everybody says, like, she's shrill and, you know, the way she communicates.

[314] But whatever.

[315] Imagine having that job.

[316] Oof.

[317] Fuck that job.

[318] Because she has to debate with people more than the president does.

[319] She has to go back and forth with the press.

[320] And sometimes she says things in confidence.

[321] But, like, just like being on a fucking podcast, sometimes you say things and you think it's true while you're saying it.

[322] It turns out it's not.

[323] and you represent the president of the United States and no one's fact -checking you in real time and it's all happening live on television.

[324] Yikes, fuck that job.

[325] Everybody gets it, hates it.

[326] The only one was good at that the last lady with Trump.

[327] What's her name?

[328] Kylie McEnany.

[329] Oh, yeah.

[330] How do you say her name?

[331] Kaylee McKinney.

[332] She's the best.

[333] Yeah.

[334] She's the goat at that shit.

[335] Yeah.

[336] Because she would have fucking receipts.

[337] She had like tabs on her notebook.

[338] She would pull right to like when she knew they were coming with a gotcha.

[339] Actually, if you would have done your research before asking that question, you would know.

[340] She took large dumps on Jim Acosta's head.

[341] Just like, get out of here.

[342] It's a funny sort of arena that press and press secretary.

[343] It's like someone speaking for the president.

[344] And supposedly these reporters are speaking for the people.

[345] It's wild.

[346] It's wild that that's how we figure out, you know, what's getting what's getting done and what's happening you have to talk to the press secretary such an old school system for something but it's all this gotcha shit you know the whole thing is gotcha yeah the press wants to get her and and make her look stupid and you know and she wants to show them that she's the girl boss and I have all the facts and here it are you know we're gonna circle she doesn't even circle back anymore did you notice that stop circling back have you noticed so I read something about it's funny to hear Yeah.

[347] I read something about it.

[348] I forget, maybe it's an article or something, and they said something about Jen Saki not circling back anymore.

[349] I said, oh, yeah, that was her thing.

[350] Like, circle back.

[351] Like we'll circle back on that and she just said she doesn't say that anymore and I think because people started making fun of it and then also B because she doesn't want to circle back because she would already circle back on those other things because there was a lot of things she was supposed to circle back on she probably has a fucking to do list it's a mile long look at all the circle back stuff I have to get to how long is she was circling back before she was in the mainstream media because that's when she couldn't circle back anymore I just Google it there's like enough stuff that it's a thing on Etsy.

[352] you can buy circle back merchandise.

[353] Oh my God, that's hilarious.

[354] Oh, my God, I need one.

[355] Oh, they get Circleback Trump, 2024.

[356] Super Socky.

[357] These are great.

[358] Got to give her credit for breaking that glass ceiling.

[359] They normally don't give Redheads a position like that.

[360] Is it a glass ceiling if it's for Redheads?

[361] I don't know.

[362] But Redheaded girls do not have the stigma that Redheaded guys do.

[363] That's true.

[364] Redheaded guys struggle, unless they're Canella.

[365] That's a good -looking redhead.

[366] That's a great point.

[367] But he became Canello because he's a redhead.

[368] You know those Mexican kids picking on him all day.

[369] A white red -headed vestige.

[370] He don't, Louis C .K. is Mexican.

[371] Oh, yeah.

[372] Did you know that?

[373] Yeah.

[374] Yeah.

[375] He's actually more Mexican than Carlos Menci is.

[376] He talks about that in his special.

[377] Oh, really?

[378] Yeah.

[379] His most recent one?

[380] No, no, no. It's like two specials ago.

[381] Wow.

[382] Two or three specials ago.

[383] I think he did I know he's talked about it on stage 4 He's definitely said it before Because he was actually born in Mexico Wow Yeah That's what we should all be paying attention By the way ladies and gentlemen And this is not saying from a person Who's xenophobic I'm not worried about Mexican immigrants I'm worried about Mexican cartels I'm worried about the people to stay in Mexico Like Mexico is crazy right now I pay attention to quite a few news pages that are covering the cartels tell wars and it's wild man it's wild there's all kinds of shootings down there oh yeah the shootings in mexico all the time now and there's basically gigantic multi -billion dollar drug rings and they're going to war with each other and there's a lot of them folks because there's a giant market for fentanyl and cocaine and marijuana and everything else that's illegal in the United States that comes up from Mexico.

[384] And because of our drug laws, this is what finances these organized crime gangs.

[385] And now they've gotten so big.

[386] And they're ruthless.

[387] They don't have laws that they have to uphold.

[388] It's not like, you know, being a part of Raytheon or being a part of fucking, you know, some other American corporation.

[389] This is, this is a gang that has billions of dollars.

[390] It's a fucking drug gang that has billions of dollars.

[391] And And who knows how many sneaky connections with corrupt officials that allow it to exist?

[392] Who knows how many people are profiting so that this stuff gets into America and keeps being distributed to America?

[393] And it's right there.

[394] And nobody's talking about it.

[395] All anybody talks about is the poor people that are trying to sneak across for a better life.

[396] And how horrible it is that some people don't want them to come across and how compassionate these people that want to help them are.

[397] That's what the main focus is.

[398] on but there's also like terrorists sneaking in they've caught terrorists right yeah I mean that's how they're that yeah they're coming it's great way to do it yeah totally I was in Miami last weekend or two weeks ago and hung out with my really good friend who I've known for years and years he's Cuban and he's like come over Saturday bring the whole crew and I did I we all went me William and we his mom made us this amazing Cuban dinner at this amazing house that they've had forever in Florida for it's been in their family for three decades or whatever and it's just the coolest most home style meal and they have a they have a couple cousins who just came from Cuba there and we're talking with them and the rest of the family mom and the and my friend are sort of semi -translating things that they don't get in between because we're talking about it and they said that they had to go through five countries so they had to whatever over to what is it considered South America right what's below well Cuba's not connected to anything so depends on what direction.

[399] No not Cuba they had to go due west and come up that way and they said they had to go through five countries So what's south of Mexico?

[400] Brazil, right?

[401] Where are we?

[402] Yeah.

[403] So they came through Mexico?

[404] Is that what you're saying?

[405] I thought you were saying Cuba.

[406] They're from Cuba.

[407] Right.

[408] But to get to America.

[409] They came through Mexico.

[410] They had to go through Mexico.

[411] But to get to Mexico, they had to go through blank, through blank, blank, blank.

[412] Blank, blank.

[413] They had to start all the way down there.

[414] There it is.

[415] That, you know, that's what that whole convoy was.

[416] You remember that giant, what would they call it?

[417] They didn't call it a convoy.

[418] Would they call it when the people were coming up for?

[419] Mexico they were watching their caravan so show that again that map please when you look at that these people were coming up see where Mexico is people were coming up from Guatemala from Honduras they were they're getting all these people and they were walking all the way up into Mexico now how do you think something like that happens how do you think you get all these families and you know kids and parents and everything all together do you just start walking up there we all walk we're going to make it like how does that work i can't even begin to fath who who puts that together is that organizers is there like a a clandestine purpose for something like that is there someone pulling the strings behind that going listen we're going to organize and we're going to get all these people just bumrush the fence we're going to talk them into it we're going to like give them food and water and take care of them along the way and we're going to make a lot of press available to this, so they're gonna come in and take photos and videos.

[420] We'll get it all up on the internet, get it all up on YouTube and in the news, and then people know.

[421] I mean, how are these people know each other in different countries?

[422] Are they talking online?

[423] They all getting together on Reddit, and they're trying to figure out where to meet.

[424] What are they doing?

[425] Yeah.

[426] How's this happening?

[427] Who organizes that?

[428] And where'd it go?

[429] Just stopped.

[430] One of the things that I found extra interesting was the fact that they had to pay there's a certain there's like a ticket fee for america basically once they stop you at the thing what i found out from hanging out with this family this cuban family in a miami was that it's there's it's a ticket it's like 15 000 i'm like so what makes the is you have to so basically you have to have a family member someone like that you can call that's here like the cousin in miami and say yes that is my cousin i will take care of them i'll give them a start they can stay i have an extra bedroom they can stay in okay you can pay the 15000 to get them over the other end right so really that's the price that america is saying this is the ticket did you say 15 000 i'm pretty sure it's 15 that's a lot yeah you get hit with that can you get hit with it more than once yeah they had to pay 30 because they have two cousins oh jesus right so it happens quick so What if you get busted a second time?

[431] Like, is this, once you're over here and you pay that fee, now you have to worry about being deported, right?

[432] How often do people get deported?

[433] Let's find that out.

[434] How many people get deported?

[435] Let's just guess.

[436] How many people get deported from the United States every day?

[437] Every day?

[438] Let's guess.

[439] I would say a thousand a day.

[440] A thousand a day.

[441] It might be high.

[442] That might be high.

[443] I'm going to say, I'm going to say 500 a day.

[444] But how many people come in?

[445] every day illegally i'd say 1 000 i'd say it's more than a thousand i'd say it's more than a thousand oh yeah coming in per day has to be has to be at least 2 ,000 yeah i think that's probably about right but how do they know because if they know if they can count them they should catch them like if you if you're just counting them as they run across the border like hey that's not helping you have a bad system it's like how do you how do you it's how do they do that i don't know but it's very strange that we're connected with a country that's so completely different i mean you just walk a certain amount of minutes from san diego and everyone's in a different country speaking spanish everything's different ice deportations fell in april to lowest monthly level on record enforcement data shows a year ago a year ago what did it say it was uh just under 3 ,000 people for the month oh 3 ,000 deportations for the whole month yeah but that's still 3 ,000 deportations that's a lot what did what were we thinking a day we were thinking a thousand a day is that what you it was 3 .2 million during obama's a day no no a month the eight years oh eight years that's oh so it's going to start doing the math oh so it was It went way up.

[446] So it went way up.

[447] During his entire administration, so for eight years, it was three million?

[448] This data says about two million were deported between 2009 and 16 during the presidency of that this is a very bad sentence.

[449] Bush, comma, about two million people were deported, comma, while between 2009 and 2016.

[450] So it's written bad.

[451] Okay, and so now, what did you say it was?

[452] It was 2 ,900 a month.

[453] Yeah.

[454] So I guess.

[455] It's $36 ,000 a year.

[456] Yeah.

[457] Be a quarter million for eight years.

[458] That's way under.

[459] It's like 10%.

[460] It's way under.

[461] So I guess I'm confused.

[462] And also, what is it?

[463] I mean, how accurate is this?

[464] So I wasn't to ask you when you were getting into it.

[465] It's like, what reasons who, like, deported to where on a plane or?

[466] And, like, what I was going to say is, like, is this, is it lower because of the pandemic?

[467] That's what I thought that was going to say, but it was, I don't know.

[468] Because clearly, well, during the pandemic is also when there was the whole, the scandal about the whole people at the border in cages and shit and all that weirdness.

[469] Do you remember the Mike Pence one?

[470] That one always weirded me out, man. Mike Pence is down at the border and all those folks that were in.

[471] immigrants are in cages and he's walking around and he's like not making eye contact with them it looks it looks very strange see if you could find that it struck me is very strange because it didn't it didn't strike me and I don't know what is I don't know what his mindset was watch this like take a look at this he said we get three tacos a day so look look at Pence he's looking at the lighting yeah Like he's looking like above these people's heads.

[472] He's not looking at them at all.

[473] He's just like scanning them as a group and he's got his arms crossed and he's having a conversation with this cop.

[474] He said, you don't have the space.

[475] We have watchtowers up here.

[476] The watchtower is so close to pick anyone that gets rowdy so we can pull them out quickly.

[477] So they have watch towers and they have these people like how many dozens in there fenced into a cage and Pence isn't even looking at them.

[478] Look at it.

[479] he's got his back turn to it that's weird man isn't that weird like wouldn't you be you would be first of all maybe he feels disrespectful staring at those people because it is kind of fucked that they can't get out you're staring at them it's kind of weird it's probably got weird energy but as a human being who's seeing these other human beings that have been captured wouldn't you feel empathy wouldn't you feel like wow this is a fucked up situation like what you know what are these guys running from that it's worth getting arrested here like what is life like for them you know what are they escaping it's so much worse than this that they're willing to take this chance and we're our standards and our understanding of like what life should be is so elevated in america that if you if you look at some of the poorest places in mexico they're fucking right there man they're not far at all right just outside of teawana some incredibly poor areas and you think like if you know you're stuck there and you're not going to ever get out and this is just going to be your life forever, you'll take some wild -ass chances.

[480] But for a guy like Mike Pence, like that's not a neighborhood that exists in his mind.

[481] You know what I mean?

[482] That's not like a place that he can go to.

[483] Like, oh, yeah, I remember when I was a kid and we had a dirt floor and we would try to catch wild chickens because we had no food for dinner and we were thinking about how to sneak over into America someday.

[484] That's what's going on in these people.

[485] And there's fucking thousands of them coming across every day.

[486] Oh, that was the other thing.

[487] How many illegal immigrants do they estimate coming to America each day?

[488] Because a lot of it.

[489] It's weird.

[490] Republicans talk about it a lot and Democrats want to pretend it's no big deal.

[491] I think the same article is saying that there is 50 ,000 detained it on any given day.

[492] So I don't know.

[493] It goes up and down and it stays at 50.

[494] 50 ,000 a day.

[495] No, no, no. 50 ,000 detained.

[496] Not like.

[497] Oh, not like arrested.

[498] Oh, I see.

[499] Incarcerated.

[500] currently incarcerated, 50 ,000 per day.

[501] How many new ones are coming in, you think?

[502] How many people they keep in those cages?

[503] What do they do when the cages gets full?

[504] Guess what?

[505] It's your lucky day, Tony.

[506] We can only keep 50 ,000 in this cage.

[507] So you are 50 ,000 in one, so we're going to give you a bus ticket to Tacoma.

[508] Here's from CNN.

[509] Nearly 6 ,000 undocumented immigrants apprehended daily at U .S. Mexican border in April.

[510] Holy shit.

[511] 6 ,000 a day.

[512] that's that's bigger than the crowd that we had in Colorado wow for each show a day damn that many people oh my goodness that's wild dude that's a lot of people crazy times that's a good way to look at it right because we've done 6 ,000 seat arenas and theaters and you could see it in your head what 6 ,000 looks like you know fuck man but of course they are of course they doing that.

[513] Anybody that doesn't think they should be doing that, you don't live there.

[514] If you lived there, you would think you should be doing that.

[515] A hundred percent.

[516] Recently an average of around 1 ,500 people daily have evaded law enforcement at the border.

[517] The number of so -called gotaways that the agency detects through a variety of technological and other tracking efforts, according to the official.

[518] I don't like the way they're saying that.

[519] I know.

[520] What are you got?

[521] fucking satellites watching the border let it's all I mean if you were of the Tim foil hat you know if you were of that persuasion you would look at this and you go you guys why aren't you having why haven't you fix that you do you want people to come across do you want it to be easy is that how the drugs get over here like what is how do the drugs get over here yeah they bust them with tunnels every now and again you know which are The one that they found in Tijuana, do you see that one?

[522] But it's the most, like, the most sophisticated drug tunnel they've ever discovered.

[523] It had lights.

[524] Wow.

[525] You didn't see that?

[526] Where did it go to?

[527] I'm not sure.

[528] There's quite a few of them, though.

[529] They find them all the time.

[530] Because you have to realize the amount of money that the cartel has, or the cartels, excuse me, have.

[531] There's so many of them.

[532] And they're selling billions and billions of dollars with the drugs every year.

[533] They're selling fentanyl.

[534] They're selling fake Xanel.

[535] and they're selling and you know it's just there's a never -ending thirst to escape your normal state of consciousness and all they have to do is get us the supplies and they can have helicopters and hippos and tanks machine guns crazy it's a tunnel i don't say how long it was record long tunnel found on u .s mexico border how long was it said it said i was trying to find out they're going to more the information about It's so funny how easy it is to get into Mexico.

[536] He's just like, hi, you just wave.

[537] Hi.

[538] Mariana Van Zeller, she's a woman that, she's been on my podcast a couple of times and she has this show.

[539] What's our new show called?

[540] Trafficked, yeah.

[541] And 1803 feet.

[542] 180 foot long subterranean tunnel found in Mexicali Baja, California, near the border.

[543] Wow.

[544] but she what was I going to say about her god damn it drugs Mexico I know traffic I'm trying to remember what my point was fuck I lost it god damn it it's Mike Tyson marijuana I blame the Mike Tyson marijuana this stuff's strong ridiculously strong oh it's very good um god damn it I don't remember what my point was my point was something about marijuana and getting it into the country, drugs.

[545] How easy it is to get in to Mexico?

[546] Oh, that's what it was.

[547] Thank you.

[548] Thank you.

[549] This, one of the episodes, she worked with these dirty cops, and they were bringing guns to the cartel from California.

[550] So these dirty cops were selling, and they had been selling for years, AK -47s, machine guns, pistols, everything, selling it to the cartel.

[551] And so she films these people.

[552] They're all blurred out.

[553] They open up the trunk of their car and it's filled with illegal guns that they've confiscated and then they sell and then these dirty cops drive through the border into Mexico and they make millions of dollars selling these guns to the cartels.

[554] Wow.

[555] It's wild, dude.

[556] Wow.

[557] It's wild because it's so easy to get into Mexico.

[558] So you just have a truckload of fucking illegal guns.

[559] Nobody gives a fuck.

[560] Go through.

[561] Go ahead.

[562] Hi enjoy your tacos You know Have fun in Touloum Just wave It's wild It's crazy You just get right through But coming back up They check your asshole With a microscope Right You know They fucking cut your tires open And find cocaine in them They have dogs sniff your car You know Yeah They find a seed They find something Those dogs Those dogs man Those fucking They use for those They have a dog That's like They're specific To a smell So whatever that smell as that dog's getting a treat.

[563] So if it's fentanyl, they just move around their car and they're like, this fucking trunk is dirty.

[564] And then pull you over and you're done.

[565] There's so many people like trying to get into the United States border every day in that line.

[566] It's such a slow moving line.

[567] But the one in New Mexico, just trunks full of guns.

[568] Incredible.

[569] Because that's how they get their guns.

[570] You got to think, man, if you're working for the police and you're a dirty cop and you know people they're in the cartel, you know, or you know a connection to someone who's in the cartel and they tell you, hey, you know, I'll give you $50 ,000 for an AK -47.

[571] You're like, what?

[572] Because they have, when you're talking about someone that's that kind of money, like, they're just selling fentanyl.

[573] And they need AK -47.

[574] So, like, I'll give you a lot of money for it.

[575] Like, what does it cost normally?

[576] Five grand?

[577] I'll give you 10 times that.

[578] That's all they'd have to do.

[579] And people would get together and they'd go, look, we got one trunk full.

[580] That's half a million Let's fucking go.

[581] Let's fucking go.

[582] And we could do this once a month.

[583] And the next thing you know, we're making fucking $6 million a year.

[584] Come on.

[585] Come on.

[586] Oh, I don't know.

[587] What about what if we get caught?

[588] You know, there'll be those kind of conversations, but a lot of people must be doing it.

[589] I wonder how they get their stuff.

[590] I bet a lot of it comes from China, right?

[591] Like that's where a lot of the fentanyl chemicals come from.

[592] The stuff that they use to make fentanyl, all the precursors and all that shit.

[593] That stuff comes from China.

[594] But China probably works with them.

[595] Like, I think there's probably people in China that most certainly would do business in Mexico to sell illegal drugs to the United States, wouldn't you?

[596] No doubt.

[597] Why not?

[598] You could poison your enemy from right underneath it, like literally in its basement, like, poison the enemy by just getting more and more fentanyl and more hard drugs into the kids.

[599] No doubt.

[600] Meanwhile, China, you get on TikTok and they're showing athletic achievements.

[601] science accomplishments you know they're showing people you know how to how to create and how to be inspired and how to really contribute to your country their big moves are all moved the big movies rather are all movies where a chinese guy kicks a shit out of an american is that true are we the bad guy over there oh man not we're not just the bad guy in um spider man the recent spider man when they tried to send it over to uh china china did not want the scene where um They fought on the Statue of Liberty.

[602] They didn't want the Statue of Liberty in there.

[603] Like, take it out of the movie.

[604] Did they take it out?

[605] No. Marvel said, no. We're drawn a line in the sand.

[606] Because China dictates a lot of stuff in terms of, like, what gets done in movies.

[607] Like, they change scripts for the way the Chinese people, like, if they, you know, say they're not going to buy this or it's not, you know, they're not going to allow it in their market.

[608] they can not allow a movie.

[609] If there's a movie that the Chinese government doesn't approve of, they go, fuck that movie.

[610] And that's it.

[611] You don't get in.

[612] And then if you're a movie business, the amount of money, like one thing we found after John Cena apologized to China and Mandarin, we looked it up.

[613] The amount of money that that movie made opening weekend in China was the vast majority of the money.

[614] It was something like they made $160 million opening week and $100 ,000, and 40 of it was from China.

[615] And I was like, oh, no. You hear that?

[616] You go, oh, wow.

[617] Yeah.

[618] Anybody will apologize in Mandarin for that kind of mind.

[619] I'll learn Mandarin.

[620] I'll learn that shit out of some Mandarin.

[621] What does it say here?

[622] Domestic, is this from that movie?

[623] So this is like total, this is not, is that opening week or that's total domestic?

[624] That's just total because I added up.

[625] So it says worldwide, yeah, so this was early on, worldwide it says 721 at a one point in time the um if you look up when john sina apologized uh opening weekend profits china because that that was when so either way that it wasn't open anywhere else there oh that what it is right but that's also another reason why he has to apologize to china because that's all their money if he if they pull it out of china they're fucked but actually you know what at this point in time i feel like if something like that happened and they pulled it out of china and everybody heard they pulled it out of china and everybody and then it became like a big thing.

[626] It'd probably be amazing publicity.

[627] There has it broken down by a country.

[628] China was $215 million of opening weekend screens, 240 ,000.

[629] Wow.

[630] So opening weekend was $128 million, whereas like the whole thing was like one, whatever it was.

[631] It was like 140 or 160.

[632] I forget the whole number, but the whole entire opening weekend, most of it was coming out of China.

[633] That doesn't make sense if China was open and the rest of the world wasn't.

[634] What movie is it again?

[635] Fast and Furious.

[636] Right.

[637] That's what's crazy.

[638] It's like, look how much money that movie makes in other countries.

[639] Except Uruguay.

[640] Uruguay gave it like $18 ,000.

[641] Scroll up a little bit.

[642] No, back to where it was.

[643] Someone was 18 grand.

[644] Oh, Switzerland.

[645] Italian -speaking Switzerland.

[646] It only made 18 grand.

[647] Wow.

[648] Italian -speaking Switzerland.

[649] What?

[650] How that is so fucking specific?

[651] five screens yeah five screens that's hilarious but it's funny how those movies those shoot them up explosion fuck you look at my my biceps movies those movies kill it in other countries yeah people love that shit diehard's world famous oh my god well but die hard was still world famous in america die hard's kind of a holiday movie you know it's a christmas movie a lot of ways It's kind of like a little bit of the Scrooge aspect of it, you know.

[652] You got a guy who's, like, losing his family because he's a piece of shit and realizes it and saves the day and becomes a hero in the end.

[653] Let's get the hero's journey, all written into it.

[654] There's some tricky little secret Christmas movies out there.

[655] Do you know Edward Cizzerhands is a Christmas movie?

[656] Really?

[657] Yeah.

[658] It's like a Christmas movie.

[659] I can't remember why I know that, but I remember the last time I saw it.

[660] I'm like, this is crazy.

[661] This is a Christmas movie.

[662] You know what's great is a nightmare before Christmas.

[663] Yeah.

[664] That's a great movie.

[665] You want to know what's really great, though?

[666] And I can't remember.

[667] I think we talked about this.

[668] I can't remember whether you said you saw it or didn't see it.

[669] But Mel Gibson plays Santa Claus.

[670] No, I haven't seen it.

[671] Oh, dude.

[672] It's really good?

[673] I can't wait until next Christmas only to watch this movie in like a Christmasy vibe again.

[674] And I just saw it this past one, and it is so cool.

[675] It's like he actually plays like the most badass Santa of all time.

[676] who's actually, you know, at the North Pole and is a real guy.

[677] Dude, it's the coolest.

[678] It is like John Wick meets Christmas.

[679] Yeah, I saw the preview for it.

[680] It looked pretty funny.

[681] And the way that they have just enough Christmas magic in it mixed with all these crazy guns.

[682] And he has a serious threat, like military -grade threat.

[683] Santa Claus drives a red old pickup truck.

[684] That's Santa Claus?

[685] Dude, it's so cool.

[686] they made him like a real guy I'm glad Mel Gibson made a comeback I was bummed out at him getting arrested and saying a bunch of wild shit about Jews I love that dude I'd love his work he's a hell of a movie maker I mean he's a crazy dude but you I think you need to be crazy to be that good of an actor you know I mean watch him in Braveheart and tell me what sane guy you want playing that role right you know there's there's certain moments that could be a chance in film only through madmen and mad women yeah you need wild people watching rosan last night made me feel that at a thousand miles an hour right because she i'm i'm thinking of myself well this it's been a while since she's done it she's one of the goats but it's been a while since she's done it and you know and also people say she's crazy you know what i mean and she's up there so this could go off the rails quick and it made every single second that much more enjoyable because you're like holy shit she's doing it oh my god she's got it and then at one point not to give anything away but she ends up saying i'm crazy and you're like oh my god she knows it's just that vibe of great pure stand -up comedy where you're like oh my god she's saying what we're all thinking at the moment that we're thinking it and like you know just brilliant flow crazy man No, she's awesome, but she is insane, but in a good way.

[687] But yeah, like, but with acting, it's also, it's not, it's a different kind of thing, right?

[688] Because you're pretending that you're really emotionally connected to this scene that you're having with this other person.

[689] You're screaming at them and like, like Daniel Day Lewis, the guy's got to be out of his mind.

[690] Yeah.

[691] Gotta be out of his mind.

[692] Like for him to play that, I drink your milkshake guy.

[693] Oh, my God.

[694] And there will be blood for him to play that guy.

[695] That guy is one of the most.

[696] complex terrifying and yet sympathetic characters like what an insane character and that the way he played it believable for every second of every frame of every you know part of the movie that you show was amazing like think of um think of fucking alec baldwin and glengarry glen ross when he when he reads off that coffees for closers that's a mean man right there that's that that's a guy like play that that's a motherfucker who knows how to be mean like that's mean for real you know like he's he's pulling into some darkness i mean kevin spacey was mesmerizing in house of cards i don't think you can get a person who's not crazy to play crazy as good as like an alec Baldwin can play crazy down closes only you think i'm fucking with you it's young handsome alec Baldwin look at I am not fucking with you.

[697] I heard I look like...

[698] I'm here from downtown.

[699] I'm here from Mitch and Murray.

[700] And I'm here on a mission of mercy.

[701] Your name's Levine.

[702] You call yourself a salesman, you son of a bitch.

[703] I don't got to listen to this shit.

[704] You certainly don't, pal, because the good news is you're fired.

[705] Bad news is you've got all you've got just one week to regain your job, starting with tonight.

[706] Starting with tonight's sit.

[707] Have I got your attention?

[708] attention now because we're adding a little something to this month's sales contest as you all know first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado anybody want to see second prize second prize a set of steak knives all right we get it sounds good as I thought it was I guess you got to see it in the whole context of the movie I felt like it was I haven't seen it in so long but it's also just part of it It gets heated up towards the end.

[709] But to be like one of those people, whether it's Mel Gibson or any of these actor types that are just insanely good in a movie.

[710] You've got to be a little crazy.

[711] Insanely good.

[712] Makes you wonder what we don't know.

[713] You know what I mean?

[714] Yeah.

[715] These people, like, I mean, even that.

[716] You talk about insane and doing good in a movie.

[717] I didn't see the movie, but clearly one of the most obvious signs of mental illness that we've seen lately publicly is Will Smith, in my opinion, slapping Chris Rock from the front row, walking over and doing that.

[718] And then 30 minutes later, he won Best Actor.

[719] Yeah.

[720] So I think that's exactly what we're talking about here, right?

[721] Exactly what we're talking about.

[722] Exactly.

[723] Yeah.

[724] I mean, he's an amazing actor.

[725] Yeah.

[726] Right?

[727] I mean, he shows emotion in his films that's so real.

[728] Yeah.

[729] So wild.

[730] The guy's probably always on the verge of crying.

[731] Yeah.

[732] It's probably a mess.

[733] Yeah.

[734] And, I mean, And the way his wife smiled after Chris Rock got slapped, the whole thing was just, oh, my God.

[735] Like, he's under a spell.

[736] Oh, he's being captured by witchcraft.

[737] It's crazy.

[738] He's the fucking one of the biggest movie stars ever.

[739] Yeah.

[740] And lives in hell.

[741] Television stars ever.

[742] And lives in hell.

[743] You see that video where she was following him around the house, like filming him?

[744] And he's like, don't use me for clout.

[745] My social media is, like, very important to me. and she turns the camera herself like like as if and she put that up as if people are not going to watch that and go you fucking crazy here's another example johnny depth and amber herds trial like whoa yeah you feel you you feel jealous that some people are movie stars do you yeah you want to know what they're like behind the scenes and when this one witch convinces this super millionaire to not sign a pre -up so that she can uh weasel all the money out of them and throws a fucking glass bottom and cuts his finger off beats him up and then goes to the press and tells everybody that Johnny beat her lies and says that she had to use a specific makeup to cover up all the abuse that he gave her and the makeup company says we didn't even make that makeup back then like she got so specific which is something that people are full shit do they add a lot of like unnecessary details right if she just said I had to put makeup on to cover up she led like a very specific makeup she's on this thing right now oh let me hear this give me some lot I have no idea what they're talking about.

[746] Give me something.

[747] That, you know, I didn't internalize, like, I didn't make that big of a deal of it.

[748] You know, I kind of pride myself on being tough, and, you know, I don't make a big deal out of, you know, smaller injuries.

[749] And I know that sounds horrible because it, and hard maybe to understand.

[750] but um my best way to cope with it is i kind of you know minimize it make me make sure no one make sure you know is that i'm i'm tough and can't knock me down and i make a joke of it clearly make light i'm going to uh michelle if you can take this one down and i've seen enough yeah um she was examined by some psychologist that said she may have some sort of borderline personality disorder that was like during the trial was it Johnny Depp's guy or was it a independent person that examined her because it was Johnny Debs guy to her a little grain of salt her in this article on NPR her she spoke on behalf after her legal team presented a clinical psychologist who said she was diagnosed with panic disorder and post -traumatic stress disorder or that's something different Yeah, that's different.

[751] This is a couple of days ago.

[752] Some said they diagnosed her.

[753] So Depp is suing her for $100 million in defamation.

[754] He won't let it go.

[755] This has been going on for years.

[756] He won't let it go.

[757] He's hound here.

[758] Now he's actually got her on stage.

[759] And the thing is, on the stand, you see how crazy she is.

[760] And also, you get to hear the recordings of how crazy she is.

[761] Like, the recorded audio of them fighting is fucking hell.

[762] It's hell.

[763] It's just straight hell.

[764] You just imagine being trapped in that fucked up relationship, just going, oh, my God.

[765] And so everybody now knows the truth.

[766] They now know this isn't like some, like some nice person was involved in this mean person, the mean person hit the nice person, and the nice person is just trying to get by.

[767] That's not what's going on.

[768] No, this was like two insane people involved in a relationship where Johnny was famous from the time he's 20 years old, right?

[769] Like, what, how?

[770] How do you figure that out?

[771] How do you get, how do you navigate life like that?

[772] Like, what are your tools that make you different than everybody else who's ever been famous when they're really young?

[773] Because they all develop fucked up.

[774] And then her.

[775] Psychologist hired by Johnny Depp testified that Amber Hurd has borderline personality disorder.

[776] Shannon Curry said she believes Hurd has, was grossly exaggerating when asked about having PTSD symptoms.

[777] Of course.

[778] That's a thing that people can just say, like anxiety.

[779] I have anxiety.

[780] Who doesn't?

[781] Who the fuck doesn't have anxiety?

[782] Right.

[783] And what are you doing with your time?

[784] Are you just laying around your house all day?

[785] Yeah, no wonder you have anxiety.

[786] That's not good.

[787] That's not normal.

[788] Like, if you go to the gym every day and, you know, you take a class and you work out hard or you go for a mile run and you fucking do some sit -ups and push -ups and then you have anxiety, let's talk.

[789] Because you might actually have anxiety.

[790] But if you just laying around, like, I know people that say they have anxiety and I'm like, what did you do today?

[791] Right.

[792] Nothing.

[793] Yeah.

[794] Couldn't get off the couch.

[795] What?

[796] How'd you get here?

[797] On my phone all day.

[798] How'd you get here if you couldn't get off the couch?

[799] Yeah.

[800] How were you here?

[801] You got off the couch?

[802] Well, I couldn't earlier.

[803] Oh.

[804] Well, I guess you're powerless.

[805] Couldn't get off the couch.

[806] You could get off the fucking couch.

[807] You just tell yourself when you go to bed, go to bed at whatever time you go to bed.

[808] Say, I'm going to get up at whatever time.

[809] I'm going to eat breakfast at this time.

[810] And then at that time, I'm going to exercise.

[811] And just do it.

[812] Just do it.

[813] It sucks.

[814] Don't want to do it.

[815] I know.

[816] Just go through the motions.

[817] Don't even have to go through that hard.

[818] Just get a sweat going.

[819] Get going.

[820] I guarantee you.

[821] Once you start moving, it'll be easier.

[822] And when you start sweating, it'll be easier.

[823] And then then, and only then, tell me how you really feel.

[824] Because you don't even know how you feel.

[825] You know how you feel when you don't do anything.

[826] You know how you feel when you don't do anything and you lay around and you feel like shit.

[827] Yeah.

[828] Duh.

[829] I do too.

[830] Yeah.

[831] I feel like shit.

[832] I do things every day But if I don't do things every day I'll feel like shit Yeah that's how it works for people That's what makes a person I like to live both sides of it sometimes Well you like a little relaxation But you work hard Yeah absolutely Today I have scheduled a It's May 4th So there's a special Star Wars hot yoga Going down tonight Downtown Austin That I'm going to be taking part in No shame in my game May the fourth be with you That's right Yeah I forgot about that That's today I'm pumped about that That's been fun lately hot yoga is crazy man yeah it is crazy hot yoga's the best it is a miserable miserable hour in which just like any workout that first 10 minutes is like what am i doing this was a mistake and then something clicks in and it just and if you can make that 30 you know that last 30 minutes yeah last 30 minutes is rough yeah we do a 90 minute yoga class and it's 105 degrees the last 30 minutes is fucking rough and you're dripping continuous drips I looked the other day and there was a moment where I like saw five drops come off me at once whatever I was doing and I'm like maybe this is maybe I'm going too hard maybe this is too much and then immediately I'm like no come on let's go something what are you going to die do you bring like a hydroflask with you filled with ice water just a regular bottle of water yeah it does it gets warm throughout I wish I should do something better I got when I used to go to beak rooms in a I got one of these 64 ounce hydro flask This is big ass jug And I fill it up with ice Yeah And then I fill it up with water And it's so fucking hot in there The ice melts in the water The water is perfectly cold I'm gonna get a perfect balance Of having enough ice and enough water And keep it in there, dude That's the move Because it's too fucking hot Yeah You need cold water Right You know or you're gonna have less effort I want to put up maximum effort So when I have some water I want to have a little cold water or a little, like, with ice in my water.

[833] I'm more used to it now, though, because of sauna, like, I can do a yoga session easier now than ever before.

[834] Just I'm so used to being under heat exposure that 105 degrees doesn't feel that bad.

[835] Like, my body can get back to normal, easier.

[836] It's weird like that.

[837] Your body's adaptable to heat.

[838] They also turn on the humidity in those things, though.

[839] There's an extra umph to it, yeah.

[840] In the hot yoga room?

[841] Yeah.

[842] There's been a couple times where they're like, the heat's working today but the humidity machine is off um is getting repaired and and it was a noticeable difference easier oh yeah with just heat if you when you add humidity which this place is like i go to the place that's like famous for being torturous like you're supposed to like they want to kill you and you're supposed to sort of take breaks throughout and they tell you that it's okay like don't go passing out to be a legend you know what i mean like take a break if you need and what was they just saying yoga hot yoga yeah torture oh yeah yeah yeah Mike Tyson wheat yes exactly this is Mike Tyson's wheat it really really is crazy it's called the toad yeah I feel like the guy that sat behind him on that airplane right now beat up yeah um but yeah hot yoga for yourself it's very good it's one of the best things ever and it also like if you can get through it man I used to go there and there was this old lady that would go and I think she was like deep into her 70s and that lady was tough as nails she went through every fucking class she was there every dad was there she was always doing it all the dudes in the class like they're like older guys that look young so I'm like I just I have to be doing this right like this has to be the correct move these guys all seem happy they seem zen they're not annoying it's like you know so you have to be like You have to be resilient to be able to get through one of those classes.

[843] With that said, I have the craziest pet peeve if anybody.

[844] Like, you're not supposed to talk in a yoga room, you know?

[845] Right.

[846] And sometimes people will be talking at that.

[847] I don't like that.

[848] Oh, it drives me crazy.

[849] Don't talk.

[850] Oh, my God.

[851] Yeah.

[852] I'm about to, like, it's almost like curb your enthusiasm style because I'm like about to be like, I'm deciding, do I want to say, shh?

[853] Do I want to say, hey, do I, you know, like, I'm trying to figure out.

[854] And then I say nothing.

[855] And the instructor comes in, and I'm like, I let them get away with that.

[856] And it sort of bothered me, you know.

[857] Oh, you mean the beginning of the class?

[858] Right.

[859] Yeah, right before the class.

[860] And it even says on the door, like you're entering a silent zone or whatever.

[861] Right.

[862] There's a yoga word for it, whatever.

[863] Yeah.

[864] But it is so annoying.

[865] That's not good.

[866] Yeah.

[867] The worst is when someone starts asking you questions.

[868] So then they start forcing you into a conversation.

[869] Where you're trying to be in your calm, Zen mind, getting ready for your yoga class?

[870] Because getting ready for yoga class is a lot like getting ready for jujitsu.

[871] Like you got to warm up.

[872] up a little you got to prepare yourself because you're going to go through some shit yeah like you got to get ready you got to psychologically prepare yourself yeah someone's like hey man see you fucking yellowstone last night and it's even worse if they're not talking to you kind of because in there it's affecting you just as much as if they were talking to you but now you get to hear two dumb sides of a conversation like no i didn't see yellowstone but i devoured it my DVR is not working right now.

[873] I'm like, what is going on here?

[874] Are you people crazy?

[875] Like, if you're talking here, you must be talking everywhere 100 % of the time continuously.

[876] About nothing.

[877] Movie theaters, people that talk in movie theaters.

[878] Ooh, that's another one.

[879] Oh, that's a rough one.

[880] And not just that, but they text in movie theaters, so their phone lights up.

[881] So you see them in front of you, and you see a phone lighting up, and you're like, that's the thing about going to movie theaters.

[882] It makes a movie better if everybody's, good, especially a comedy.

[883] I remember I went to see something about Mary.

[884] We saw it in the movie theater, and it was Steve Sharippa said it best.

[885] He said they were killing like a comic was on stage.

[886] That's what the new Jackass movie was like in theaters.

[887] Oh my and I kept thinking it throughout the whole time.

[888] The first five minutes in I'm like wow, this feels like a stand -up show.

[889] It has beats.

[890] Continuous absolute continuous beats.

[891] Moments that are funny.

[892] I need to see it.

[893] Some moments to different people it's so epic because they have a budget now like they get to do whatever at whatever they want now i can't believe that johnny knoxville after breaking his dick still does those stunts his dick's broken right i don't want to give anything away but don't give him away chaos happens doesn't he need to use like a pump on his dick because he broke it in one of those stunts well i don't know about that did you hear that yes yes to pump out what to get his dick hard really yes Yes.

[894] Something went wrong.

[895] Oh shit.

[896] Bro, they get hurt.

[897] Like real hurt for real.

[898] Like hit by bulls hurt.

[899] Stomped.

[900] You know, they kind of hurt where you could die.

[901] Johnny Knoxville on the time he broke his penis.

[902] So much has been said about so little.

[903] What a great line.

[904] He said, stunt performer tried to perform.

[905] a back flip on a motorcycle in 2007 when the bike flew into the air and landed on his crotch.

[906] The subsequent injury to his penis meant that he had to use a catheter for three and a half years.

[907] Holy fuck, dude.

[908] Wow.

[909] I broke my gym dog a number of years ago.

[910] He calls his dick his gym dog.

[911] I broke my gym dog a number of years ago.

[912] It's been well documented.

[913] So much has been said about so little.

[914] the injury was no close call to adding the doctor said a couple of centimeters down it would have been out of commission but I've had two children since then so it's in great working order okay so the thing about him having a pump is bullshit so it's the catheter that's what it's like one of those things look at him up there that's the new one oh gee he gets hit by a bull in the new one yeah they pay homage to the time that the bull knocked him before in this time oh my god what the fuck man yeah spoiler alert this time it's worse.

[915] No, I don't want to hear that.

[916] But it's great, it's great, though.

[917] He's out of his fucking mind, man. He wasn't blindfolded this time.

[918] Look at Weeman's face.

[919] This is happening in the corner.

[920] Jesus Christ.

[921] This is so unnecessary.

[922] Those guys, I'm telling you, this one is a masterpiece.

[923] I'm sure.

[924] I've heard nothing with good things.

[925] Nothing with good things.

[926] Jesus Christ, man. What were we talking about before we talked about jackass?

[927] Comedy movies.

[928] Comedy movies.

[929] Oh, yeah, seeing something in a movie thing.

[930] it's like you get that thing of like going to see a comic in a club we're all laughing together this contagious laughter you know but the problem is like some people just especially in this day and age where people are so damn addicted to their devices they can't not look at their phone for an hour and a half they have to check their phone they have to be texting in the middle of it and they have the they don't even have night mode on so they turn the phone on it's brought blinding white right and you see it all around you while you watch you have to kind of like ignore this half of your eyesight and out here in austin there's almost exclusively only theaters that have uh waiters and waitresses like it's really different here um it's a you know alamo draft house tradition that sort of started here and now the other places all do it so when that happens it's even it even gets a little bit crazier because now people pull out their phones to look at their receipt or to look at the menu or to look at their bill or whatever And so it happens, and they do that, you know, 15 minutes before the movie ends or whatever.

[931] So it's sort of comedy clubby in that way movie theaters here.

[932] You almost need, like, a chin strap -type baseball hat deal.

[933] Yeah, that'd be good.

[934] A little shelf that comes up.

[935] Yeah.

[936] Just like how baseball hat blinds out the sun, you need a chin -strap deal, so you can watch a movie without look at anybody's phone.

[937] Yeah.

[938] Like, I don't want to see your bullshit.

[939] There's something that comes up to, like, right here.

[940] So you just watch the whole screen and nothing but the screen.

[941] It's actually not a bad idea But you know if you did that Someone would leave their phone on And they wouldn't be able to get to it Sorry, the shelf is up right now Just be ringing They make these goggles for basketball So that when you dribble you don't look down That would probably be the exact same thing Interesting Is that for drills?

[942] Yeah, yeah, it cuts off like half your vision Have you ever done it?

[943] Whoa That sounds like a yes I mean These didn't exist when I was like 12 I needed to practice dribbling like this there was something very close to it but not quite like that huh that's interesting well that seems to be a thing that would benefit from just like consistent repetition dribbling like knowing the exact reaction the ball's going to have so you know where it's going to be when you're moving around you know oh yeah you don't want to look at that i would imagine and i imagine you could get away without like guys really good at cards they can right in front of you they just have a feel for it they don't have to think about it that's what's amazing about people is that we can learn shit you know that's really amazing like when you watch someone is really good at something and you watch they learn especially it's something that you can't do like fucking gymnastics or something watch and perform some floor routine and you go wow like look what you could figure it look at you figure out how do with your body like how weird is that or you know someone who's like really good at um anything athletic that's weird like David Blaine is teaching magic now Oh boy You can buy his glass online I think you have to become a sorcerer I think he's really I think he's legitimately a sorcerer David Blaine was so talented It's kind of creepy His magic like he did it right in front of us In the green room We were watching him like a hawk I didn't see a goddamn thing Did you see anything?

[944] Again I was trying I thought I knew when he was gonna do it Where he's gonna do it I set myself up in an angle I felt like I was being a dick I was like I wanted to know Couldn't fucking tell Jamie was like on that shit like a hawk on a power line.

[945] You couldn't tell.

[946] I saw David Copperfield flying when I was a kid.

[947] I was like, look at the fucking string, dad.

[948] Look, you can't fucking, ah, ruins it.

[949] There's an old Teddy Bergeron joke about going to see Peter Pan.

[950] And there's a little kid and he's going to see Peter Pan.

[951] It's like, wow, this is amazing.

[952] Look, Peter Pan's flying.

[953] And he goes, and there's always someone in the audience going, he's on a wire.

[954] He's on a wire.

[955] look Santa Claus isn't real and he's on a wire that's hilarious it's true it's like people want to see behind the curtain you know who'd you say Teddy Bergeron do you know what Teddy Bergeron is that the guy that hosted like Hollywood Squares or something no no no no no no that's Todd Bergeron no what's his name he's got a very similar name too he hosted Dancing with the Stars or something right didn't he he he he was uh Tom Tom Bergeron yeah he was on television in Boston when I lived in Boston he was like a local television personality and then he became national when he was on who's dancing with the stars right is that what he hosted and he hosted that forever yeah Hollywood Square's first yes so oh he did host that as well so Teddy Bergeron was one of the first guys to come out of Boston that really cracked on the tonight show he was brilliant um but teddy liked to party and i don't mean like like to party like teddy like to go into other dimensions and wake up on a park bench wow and he just would get fucked up and mess things up and in his prime though like damn he was good i saw him when i was an open micer and i had only done comedy like i think once or twice and i went to an open mic and i was waiting and he you know dropped in to do like 10 minutes so he dropped in to do 10 minutes and I was almost like I should just quit I should quit he was so polished it was so smooth like every like all of his bits were so like well thought out and I was like wow he's so good but substances yeah that's him play some of that that guy likes to party was basically the two years we spent trying to figure the people out there because they're somewhat different I remember one night I was playing my stereo really loud, about three in the morning, blaring through the room, and a little old lady that lives in the next apartment started banging on my door.

[956] What the hell's the matter with you?

[957] Turn the bass up.

[958] Sure.

[959] But I'm back in New York, East Coast, where people are normal.

[960] A little too normal, too formal here.

[961] So I dress tonight like this because it's an officious city.

[962] Today, someone asked me for the correct time.

[963] Hadn't heard that in a long time.

[964] Excuse me, young man, have you got the correct time.

[965] I have a meeting I need the correct time.

[966] as opposed to what the incorrect time i mean who wants to know that bright sunny day man's walking along a beach have you got the incorrect time it's uh midnight thank you but i started uh in boston my comedy career and i had to leave uh unfortunately it's a great comedy city that's not good yeah it's not quite how we remember little glen gary glen ross my little bit way worse you know what it is it's like that's a tonight show set and you gotta fucking water everything down yeah yeah it's that's that's that's that's That's four years before I even saw him.

[967] You got to see him in the clubs.

[968] You know, he, it was a great comic.

[969] But that's just, those Tonight Show sets are the worst.

[970] You know, you're standing out there.

[971] You don't even have a microphone.

[972] It's not a comedy club audience.

[973] You're moving your hands around because you don't know what to do with them because you're not holding a mic.

[974] Right.

[975] It's the opposite of a real club with phones locked up.

[976] It's the opposite of it.

[977] Yeah.

[978] What's worse, because you're not even really at a club.

[979] You're, you know, you're at a TV taping.

[980] So there's this, like, artificial pressure.

[981] Right.

[982] It's daytime.

[983] People don't realize.

[984] It's like four in the afternoon.

[985] That's also 1980s comedy.

[986] There's a thing about 1980s comedy is you have to put it in the context of 1980s.

[987] You really do.

[988] I mean, obviously you have guys in the 80s that were producing stuff that's like top of the food chain like prior and Eddie Griffin or Eddie Griffin.

[989] I don't know when he started actually, but I met Eddie Murphy.

[990] And then also, of course, Kinnison.

[991] And Kinnison and then Dice Clay.

[992] So Kinnison is like 85, 86 he pops So you gotta think of that Like that's when people change What they thought of as comedy And it's wild when you go back and watch Like I wouldn't tell any of those jokes And if you were telling those jokes I'd be like get rid of that one Yeah, that one sucks Get rid of it Yeah Get rid of it But it's like And I'd be like I thought so thank you But it's one of those things It's like back then I'd be like those are solid jokes If we were living in the 80s We were idiots Yeah Nobody knew any better.

[993] Like, the culture has changed so much.

[994] And so many more people contribute into, like, the conversation about what's good and what sucks and what's interesting, what's cliche.

[995] And it's such a fucking accelerated time for, like, the change in human culture.

[996] And I don't know if we really recognize how accelerated it is.

[997] think it's happening so fast and it's a part of us while it's happening so it just seems normal you just normal normal day but if you go back and look at it over the context of like from 1984 to today like holy shit what a difference what a monumental difference the world like in the world rather how much it's changed since 84 i mean it's not that long ago man you know it's 38 years it's not 38 years it's not that long but it might as well be a thousand might as well be from another time weird blurry television images and that's how old i am and that's what's crazy is like i feel like what you were you born 84 wow and i feel like people um i don't know i just feel like i got to sort of live at all because i remember they're being rotary phones and i remember when this thing the internet was like starting and yeah and and crazy what a wild time i remember when vhs tapes came out that's how old i am wow i remember when people couldn't watch tv unless you were at home when the show aired right and then they came out with this thing where you could tape things yeah and play it back later oh yeah i remember that i mean i was very young but like yeah i had one of those like rock solid big ass tvs that you couldn't do anything with you needed a dolly or multiple people or whatever i remember there were VHS tapes and then you could hook two VCR players together and you could copy tapes.

[998] Oh, yeah.

[999] So then they came out with a thing that was like a little hole in the back of the tape that wouldn't let you copy it.

[1000] But then people figured out all you'd do is put a piece of tape over that little hole and then you can copy it, right?

[1001] Is that how it worked?

[1002] Is my memory accurate?

[1003] It's like the first copyright protection.

[1004] It was like a tab that was removed.

[1005] Oh, you'll never be able to copy now.

[1006] I'll pull this little piece of plastic out.

[1007] And you could just duct tape over it, and then it would be good to go.

[1008] It's almost like there was like a little thing.

[1009] If it set into that little hole that it left, it wouldn't record.

[1010] Look, Woody, one of my little fucking baby.

[1011] That thing, that's the little tab.

[1012] I do remember it.

[1013] Snap that tab off like a gangster.

[1014] Fuck you.

[1015] This thing's done.

[1016] No one's ever getting.

[1017] another one I thought of recently was how cool it was to have a Walkman with a CD in it and how often those would skip and how like that skip delay there was like three seconds skip delay you had to either turn it on or off Lord knows why it just wouldn't automatically be on all the time oh I remember because it would drain your battery a little bit faster if you had the skip protection on all the time so you'd really only want to use it if you were working out or whatever and it would skip all the time everything would skip all the if you hit any bump you would skip it would skip in your car Remember those days?

[1018] ESP.

[1019] It was electronic skip protection, but like it's, it could see the future, so, you know, it wasn't fucking...

[1020] Yeah.

[1021] The thing is, like, they figured out how to make it so that you could play a CD in your car and it won't skip, though.

[1022] How'd they do that?

[1023] Yeah.

[1024] How'd they do that?

[1025] I don't know.

[1026] Is it just better reading?

[1027] Does it hold it in place better?

[1028] Yeah.

[1029] I would have to go, without looking it up, I'd go, yeah, probably was a more expensive CD player that had stabilization in it.

[1030] But I think...

[1031] Do they still make C. CD players?

[1032] Yeah.

[1033] That is wild.

[1034] Who's got CDs laying around?

[1035] I was just thinking about that today.

[1036] You'd have to carry a case and people would break into cars to steal your CD case.

[1037] CD case.

[1038] Yeah, I remember you would have like the case would be clear plastic and you'd have the CD cover on one side and the actual CD on the other side.

[1039] You know, so you could see.

[1040] Oh, Bob Seeger, night moves.

[1041] I used to go to the library.

[1042] When I first, first got out of high school and moved to Los Angeles, I would go to the action.

[1043] freaking library.

[1044] Like I remember getting the Eagles' greatest hits and not knowing much about the Eagles at all and being like, oh, this will be a good get.

[1045] Like, I remember checking it out because...

[1046] Oh, you can check out music for the library?

[1047] Yeah.

[1048] You can...

[1049] I've heard of...

[1050] 2003, 2004, 2005.

[1051] With the right library card, you can get movies, download movies that aren't on Netflix or HBO.

[1052] Really?

[1053] Yeah.

[1054] They're not?

[1055] Where are they?

[1056] What are they on?

[1057] I don't know.

[1058] Like independent movies or something?

[1059] Or they just don't have the license for them right now, so they're not on there today, but like they've been on there.

[1060] They're just not always on there.

[1061] And you can have access to them.

[1062] Same with music.

[1063] You can download music from the library.

[1064] How does it work with things where something is over a certain amount of years old and doesn't have copyright protection anymore, right?

[1065] Very confusing, and it has to do it at Disney.

[1066] He set that shit up.

[1067] He did?

[1068] Yep.

[1069] He didn't want people to take over Mickey Mouse because that's kind of like what he took.

[1070] Those first stories were all, public domain stories almost and then they just added a character and rewrote the story like Snow White and it's a really, really, really old story but they did the cartoon version of it so then in the like this before he died I want to say it's 50s 60s got some stuff through Congress that it added 27 years or something like at a date it's like 25, 27 years past the death of the person who was the original copyright holder and then a couple years later they added that you could add your child or something like that to be the holder so then it's 27 years after their death Beth, very confusing, but that's how Sting got the money for that, all the money from the Puff Daddy song.

[1071] It gets into copyright lawyer stuff.

[1072] You know when you see photos of Walt Disney at Disneyland, all of his cigarettes are photoshopped out.

[1073] So you see him there standing there like this.

[1074] Wow.

[1075] And all these pictures, he's sitting around like this, but he's got his two fingers like this, but there's nothing in his hand.

[1076] Whoa.

[1077] Yeah.

[1078] Because he died from lung cancer.

[1079] Oh, wow.

[1080] He died from smoking cigarettes.

[1081] Damn.

[1082] Smoked himself to death.

[1083] Wow.

[1084] And he wasn't that old either.

[1085] I want to say he was in the 60s.

[1086] Yeah.

[1087] See all his, see how his hand?

[1088] See his hand right there?

[1089] Yeah, and look his hand right there.

[1090] They photoshopped the cigarettes out.

[1091] He always had a cigarette in his hand.

[1092] Three packs a day.

[1093] Yeah, man. Homeboy was pumping.

[1094] He had a lot of energy.

[1095] That's pretty much continuous.

[1096] Yeah, look at that.

[1097] Where that finger is.

[1098] Look at his finger where the cigarette should be.

[1099] Wild, right?

[1100] Oh.

[1101] River right there.

[1102] He always had a cigarette on him.

[1103] How old was he when he died?

[1104] I don't think it was that old, man. Oh, Tom Hanks played him?

[1105] Yeah.

[1106] The Tom Hanks just put his fingers together like Disney did, but he didn't have a finger.

[1107] I didn't have a cigarette in there, saving Mr. Banks, starring Tom Hanks as Walt Disney.

[1108] So he was doing...

[1109] Scott, stop moving?

[1110] The two -finger point and the smoking two even made it into saving Mr. Banks.

[1111] So Tom Hanks is doing the two -finger pointing like as if he had a cigarette in his hand, but Tom Hanks' character doesn't have a cigarette in his hand.

[1112] Why would he play Walt Disney and not have a cigarette?

[1113] If Walt Disney constantly smoked.

[1114] Because movies are weird about cigarettes now.

[1115] It's like an actual warning.

[1116] That's so dumb.

[1117] That's you talking about it.

[1118] What's?

[1119] I was talking about it.

[1120] I wonder who pays to it.

[1121] You think it's alcohol?

[1122] That's hilarious.

[1123] That's me. I'm in this article.

[1124] Wait, what?

[1125] me I'm talking about it in 2014 oh that's hilarious oh you know why because I went with my kids and um we realized what we have uh this guy uh shout out to Flander who was uh he's not just a guide there he's like a historian he knows a lot about Walt Disney and Disney World and all the Disney franchise movies and he's the one explained it to me and he showed me all the photos he's like look look his fingers I was like whoa how old was he when he died See if you can find how he died, but he died from cancer sticks.

[1126] Bummer.

[1127] Yeah, I mean, it is an enjoyable thing, though.

[1128] It's what a rush when you don't do it for a while, and then you have a cigarette, like right before a show.

[1129] The second cigarette doesn't help, though.

[1130] I've realized that, like, it's one cigarette.

[1131] It's only one cigarette before a show.

[1132] He was 65.

[1133] He was 65.

[1134] That's pretty good.

[1135] He's 66.

[1136] You say that until you're 64.

[1137] It's a good point Yeah And then he'd be like Fuck And then you see This like Tim Kennedy Had some guy's dad On his Instagram page A few months ago And he's like This is my friend's dad He's 70 Guy was ripped 70 Six pack Look great Looked 50 Working out Like doing like Some fucking crazy Circuit With those Navy SEAL guys Did you see Danny Elfman at Coachella No Freak me musician.

[1138] What's this?

[1139] All these old people racing, this guy's 70.

[1140] He ran a 13 .5 second, 100 meter dash.

[1141] What?

[1142] That's very fast.

[1143] Let me see this.

[1144] How old are all these guys?

[1145] That guy in the front is 70?

[1146] Oh my God, look at him.

[1147] Holy shit, dude.

[1148] Wow.

[1149] That's very fast.

[1150] Holy shit.

[1151] Especially for that age.

[1152] Holy shit.

[1153] 60, okay.

[1154] Masters, 70 and older.

[1155] Holy fuck.

[1156] Is that their age?

[1157] 82?

[1158] Yes.

[1159] What?

[1160] So you see the results there.

[1161] It might be their numbers.

[1162] No, he's 82.

[1163] Give him the number.

[1164] All right.

[1165] It says 70.

[1166] No, he says he's a 70 years old.

[1167] How long can he do that?

[1168] He might be able to do it in 10 years.

[1169] You're that guy flying.

[1170] That's very, that's crazy.

[1171] A lot faster than I could ever run, ever, in my whole life.

[1172] How fast do you think you could run one now?

[1173] My knee's fucked.

[1174] I can't really run like that right now until this thing gets better.

[1175] We should race.

[1176] I have a problem.

[1177] Is that I know that, like, if I kick really hard with this knee, it winds up getting hurt again, and I don't care.

[1178] When I'm hitting the bag, I don't care.

[1179] I just want to smash it.

[1180] I just want to whop.

[1181] Just the ability to do that is so fun.

[1182] It's so hard to resist.

[1183] but I got to resist right now.

[1184] I've just got some stem cells shot into it and weighs to well hooked me up and took care of my knee and some IV stem cells and some BPC 157 and they're trying to fix whatever's going on there and it's definitely feeling better.

[1185] I had a treatment that was only a couple of weeks ago.

[1186] It's feeling a lot better.

[1187] So I've got to be nice to it.

[1188] So no running.

[1189] But I've been doing a lot of stuff with my legs.

[1190] I can do a lot of stuff that doesn't hurt.

[1191] I just have to make sure that anything that tweaks it or makes it feel weird, I'm just going to leave it alone.

[1192] I think I can get it back to where it was.

[1193] Yeah, we went to the gym a couple weeks ago.

[1194] That was good.

[1195] What did we do?

[1196] The boxing gym.

[1197] Oh, that's right.

[1198] Took you to a boxing gym.

[1199] Did you enjoy?

[1200] New skills.

[1201] Hell yeah.

[1202] There's no better workout than that.

[1203] Yeah.

[1204] I mean, that's one.

[1205] I used to go to Wild Card in Hollywood, and there were times that I threw up in the garbage can.

[1206] Like, it's just a workout.

[1207] that you get lost in it.

[1208] And even though it's only whatever, two or three minute rounds, it's...

[1209] Three minutes when you're hitting mitts hard or hitting a bag hard is a long fucking time.

[1210] It's a long time if you're pitter -pattering the bag.

[1211] If you're just going like this.

[1212] Like, if you've ever watched Floyd Mayweather hit the bag?

[1213] Crazy.

[1214] Floyd -Man Weather doesn't hit the bag hard most of the time.

[1215] Most of the time, he just goes like this.

[1216] But it's continuous.

[1217] He never stops punching.

[1218] And then, whack, whack, whack.

[1219] And then he continuously punches.

[1220] Like, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

[1221] Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

[1222] Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

[1223] When you watch him do it, it's an unusual rhythm that I never saw before him.

[1224] Watch how he does this.

[1225] Look, give me some volume.

[1226] Look at this.

[1227] How long has he been going?

[1228] Don't tell him that's a B .O. No, no, no, it's B .J. I know it.

[1229] Don't we tell you, B .J. Only between us.

[1230] So he's been doing this for, he'll do this for like 10, 15 minutes.

[1231] Like, it's not just like he doesn't do three -minute rounds.

[1232] He'll do as long as he feels like it.

[1233] But look how he punches.

[1234] So he gets a lot of things.

[1235] touching it not he's not killing the bag he's just what he's doing is continuously hitting it continuously hitting it one good thing about a boxing gym too is you watch people that actually know what they're doing and you realize like how hard someone can hit you it's horrifying yeah when you watch someone smash a bag or smash pads and you go oh Jesus Christ you know and you're in a gym like that gym with real boxers and kickboxers and MMA fighters yeah I got to watch Manny Pachial work out in his prime back then and holy smoke so much of it stood out the speed the fucking snap there's just a different thing but one of the things that really stood out was he was jumping rope and it looked like if you looked at his head it looked like he wasn't leaving the ground he was like staying in the same spot and it didn't even look like his feet were leaving the floor it was such quick rapid movements that it just looked like his shoes were sort of like vibrating the only way that you knew that he was jumping the rope was a he was it was coming back around and b his calf muscles would flare out like that they would go from they were ridiculous they would just go from i don't know they're huge yeah he's he's known for his legs and it's interesting because there's so many like athletes like him prince nassim hamed there's quite a few guys that are known for having like really ridiculous leg strength and you realize like oh well punches come from the legs like that's a big part of it and the movement like between him and nassim hamed one of the things they both shared in common is their ability to like cut angles and move so quickly you know man he could just like see you like he could zip zap and a lot of it was his footwork i mean his footwork and his leg dexterity and he was always running hills and always doing jump rope i think he's done right did he retire officially look the size of those calves jesus christ to have calves like that is uh i mean that is a massive benefit because to be able to move quickly and lightly on your feet is everything in a boxing match you to move in and out and move away from things move side to side he's a weird guy too in that he's so nice yeah like he's so fucking nice and yet he's a straight up killer it's like eight division world champion at least so nice yeah so sweet heart of a guy yeah nice to everybody to everybody just all smiling and everything like that but But there's a guy who's got a fucking entourage to feed.

[1236] Yeah.

[1237] Bro.

[1238] We did a thing with Tosh and I did it for his show.

[1239] I forget what I did.

[1240] Something like I took him with me to a boxing gym and hung out with Manny Pachow.

[1241] And Manny Pachial punched him in the face.

[1242] Like it was part of the sketch.

[1243] And he hit him and Tosh would fall down.

[1244] You got to hit him hard than that.

[1245] You got to hit him a little harder.

[1246] Just actually hit him a little bit.

[1247] And Tosh is looking at me like, what the fuck?

[1248] I'm like you got to let him hit you so I'm giving I guess I'm giving him advice that's Joe with the beard days wow I'm telling him how to hold a mouthpiece in his mouth I don't know what I'm wearing there I'm wearing some kind of silver suit here it goes I mean that's he's just touching him too I think that's probably the second time he hit him we had him hit him a little harder Tosh is a real He's a sport.

[1249] He went in there and troopered it out and took one for the team.

[1250] But it was his idea, not mine.

[1251] Wow.

[1252] Balls.

[1253] Yeah.

[1254] Fuck getting punched by that guy.

[1255] I think he's done, though, right?

[1256] Is he Mani Pachia retired?

[1257] I think so.

[1258] I think so.

[1259] But I mean, all these boxers, I mean, they're just always one payday away from a return.

[1260] Well, it's that, and it's also, I think.

[1261] It's trying to be president right now.

[1262] Ah, president of the Philippines.

[1263] Temporary retirement.

[1264] Doesn't they might do something.

[1265] to him be careful bro Philippines don't play you know if he wanted to keep fighting though what's going on today with athletes as long as they're not testing them you can get away with a lot of wild shit and there's always been like shenanigans with certain boxing matches like what they test and what they don't whether they they bring in VADA or whether they just sort of fucking flying under the radar and try to piss clean the day of the fight and who's in whose pocket and what's you know because it's like You can get away with competing way later if you're doing things.

[1266] Who was the guy that cemented his gloves against...

[1267] Margarito.

[1268] Yeah.

[1269] Yeah, he against Miguel Cotto.

[1270] Who fucked Miguel Coto up.

[1271] And then Sugar Shane Mosley's team caught something in his gloves.

[1272] It caught something in his wraps when they were backstage.

[1273] And they found he was putting plaster of Paris inside his wraps.

[1274] So what that means is, like, where his wraps are, he had coated in plaster, so then you would add water to it, and then it would harden.

[1275] So from the time he gets his hands wrapped to the time he goes out there, he's got hard, like a hard sheath over his knuckles, like a plaster sheath.

[1276] So he's got this, the wraps, and then he's got whatever this plaster -like material.

[1277] Tell me what that material was.

[1278] It was a, this says it was a plaster pairs powder that got water on it or so that it would harden up.

[1279] So he would do that and then get it wet and then fuck people up like he had bricks in his hands.

[1280] He fucked people up, man. That kind of power that, I mean, it's so rare to have that kind of power.

[1281] But some guys actually do, like Deonti Wilder actually has that kind of bricks in your hand power.

[1282] And it's such a big advantage.

[1283] And if you have bricks in your hand power like Margarito has power.

[1284] and on top of that he's put plaster all over his knuckles yeah he's just brutalizing people and then sugar Shane found out about his team found out about it before the fight so he went out there with regular gloves on and regular wraps thinking he was going to be able to fight sugar Shane and cheat i'm pretty sure sugar Shane fucked him up yeah sugar Shane fucked him up he fucked him up so bad that margarita had to get eyeball surgery yeah and uh after that marguerite's like one eye was like never the same it was like questionable whether or not he should been allowed to fight.

[1285] I believe he had a I think he had an artificial retina put in.

[1286] I think it was one of those deals which is wild man. They do that now.

[1287] I was watching a commercial about that online where this guy was replacing people's retinas with an artificial retina and that you could see like glasses.

[1288] It's like they just cut yours out and put a new one in.

[1289] I was like, what?

[1290] But the thing about it is, they were saying, that you might get haloing at night.

[1291] Like I know a guy who had LASIC surgery and he can't drive at night.

[1292] What happens?

[1293] He had a problem.

[1294] He had a rare but prevalent react.

[1295] I mean, I don't know, prevalent.

[1296] Rare, but it's one of the side effects of LASIC is haloing.

[1297] Whereas if you see lights at night, the lights, you don't just see the light.

[1298] You see like a halo around the light.

[1299] And that halo around the light obscures things that you might not be able to see it, like as you're driving so he can't drive at night that's got to suck it's got to suck yeah find out about that like haloing under lacy i mean maybe he got it a long time ago and maybe it's uh maybe the new way's better rie got lasic really and then his eyes got worse oh because he got older so his eyes kept getting worse so it was fixed for a while knowing rie he probably got the cheapest lacy this is bullshit i had a fucking group on i bid 25 dollars for the LASIC?

[1300] Yes, eye glare, and halos are a common issue that patients experience after they receive LASIC surgery.

[1301] In fact, glare after LASIC is an extremely frequent side effect that you might have to deal with following this procedure in the event that you see different kinds of halos and glars following LASICs, you should know that this is normal.

[1302] You might also see glare taking the shape of starbursts.

[1303] Starbursts are not a ring surrounding lights like the more common form.

[1304] of glare.

[1305] Starbursts look more like a glow that disperses itself around the light instead.

[1306] So that kind of shit is not good.

[1307] That's fucking terrible.

[1308] Like, why do they appear?

[1309] Okay.

[1310] We'll create a flap in the upper most.

[1311] So this is a Lasix vision website where they're trying to sell you Lasix.

[1312] We'll create a flap in the uppermost portion of your cornea when we perform Lasix surgery.

[1313] The uppermost portion of your cornea is the epithelium.

[1314] We'll lift up the this flap so that we can adjust the entire contour of your cornea using a surgical laser after we make the epithelial flap.

[1315] Once we have finished altering the shape of your cornea, we put the epithelial flap back down.

[1316] Your eyes need some time to adapt to the new shape of your cornea after we make the epithelial flap and put it back down.

[1317] If you see halos near bright lights, this is simply a step in your eyes healing process.

[1318] You may also see halos close to bright objects as your eyes go through the process of healing and adjusting to your cornea's new shape.

[1319] Well, for my friend, he didn't start off getting glare.

[1320] He got it later.

[1321] You know that halos are a type of glare in vision that temporarily changes your vision following LASIC.

[1322] You see halos primarily at night after LASIC.

[1323] Halos are usually more common in low light conditions and they look like bright circle surrounding sources of light like street lights and headlights.

[1324] Even though we commonly call halos a side effect of LASIC, they're not exactly a side effect as we usually use that term.

[1325] Instead, halos are a normal sign that your eyes have started recovering.

[1326] That's not what my friend is having.

[1327] My friend had it years and years ago.

[1328] And he's recently developed halos.

[1329] So I don't know.

[1330] It's crazy.

[1331] The side effects on things are insane.

[1332] Well, the fact that they're, that's a big deal.

[1333] That means you can't drive at night.

[1334] That's a giant deal.

[1335] Yeah.

[1336] Like if you had a choice that you'd wear glasses or not drive at night, I would say, I'm gonna wear glasses.

[1337] Yeah.

[1338] What fuck you're talking about?

[1339] Yeah.

[1340] You're not drive at night.

[1341] It's fun driving at night.

[1342] It's no big deal, bro.

[1343] Just take Uber's and everywhere you go, be psychedelic.

[1344] All the lights would be like glowing and...

[1345] Imagine every way you go into Vegas if you halo, like everywhere you go.

[1346] Oh, no. They're outside and the neon.

[1347] Oh, everything's got a halo around it.

[1348] What does that look like?

[1349] Do they have an image, like a representation of what LASIC halos look like to someone?

[1350] who is suffering from them I want to see that there's eye drops that my doctor gave me to try these out like what are they he's like there look at that's what it looks like whoa so these folks can't see shit like and that's just those headlights right as they get close and they take up your entire field of vision like it's going to obscure some of the the things you're seeing one of them make glasses that limit the halo effect That would be ironic.

[1351] I bet they're...

[1352] Wouldn't that be ironic?

[1353] Glasses, I think.

[1354] Yeah.

[1355] You have to wear glasses to eliminate the halo.

[1356] Like yellow glasses, like Hunter Thompson -type glasses.

[1357] Yeah, there's got to be glasses.

[1358] Do they make it?

[1359] They make glasses to see golf balls on the...

[1360] Right, but see if they do that.

[1361] Glasses to remove halos.

[1362] Because if they do that, well, then you go, well, that's not the big of deal.

[1363] You just wear your halo glasses when you drive at night.

[1364] what do you think think they do i mean i don't think it doesn't maybe just regular sunglasses would help right because if it's not right out for us young jami it seems like it seems like yeah it seems like polarized lenses or something like that dude polarized lenses are great you ever use those when you go fishing oh it's great they cut out all the glare you could see in the water you see where the fish are really yeah you lift them up and you don't see shit you put them on you see the shadows of the fish swimming around oh wow yeah they're pretty dope it seems like that would help a lot oh it helps a lot yeah yeah it's a big deal i was looking i'm about to buy for the same purpose once you're out there you can't see your ball a lot of time a lot of the time i forgot you guys are competitive let me tell you oh yeah jamie's been whacking that ball son james he's got a spooky drive but what jamie knows is that it's not exactly a test of strength i mean he can hit the ball very hard and very far does it make you jealous No. It should.

[1365] No, because we're not talking about...

[1366] It makes me jealous.

[1367] And I don't even play golf.

[1368] A big part of the game, Joe, is where you hit the ball.

[1369] Yeah, yeah, you can get that eventually.

[1370] It's like if somebody kicked really hard, but they didn't kick you?

[1371] Yeah, but no, no, no, no, no, no, no. The smile just went on.

[1372] What he's saying is how I approached martial arts.

[1373] I learned how to kick hard first, and then I learned how to kick people.

[1374] Kick hard first, then you figure out where to kick them.

[1375] Will you kick hard first and kick fast And then it's about closing distance and fainting And it's a little bit different No no it's less complicated Kicking someone's way more complicated And the ball it doesn't move shut the fuck up Don't ever say that There's not a chance in hell That it's easier to hit a golf ball That it's not easier to hit a golf ball That it's not a chance in fucking hell You know how smart golfers are And how dumb fighters are You know You don't know what you're talking about What I'm saying is It's super difficult to kick someone it's super easy to hit a golf ball whether you hit a golf ball perfectly that's a different story how do you mean it's easy to hit a golf ball because it's right there it's not moving anywhere it's right there neither is the bag that you're kicking we're talking about a person kicking a person that's what we're talking about that's what you're saying like fighters are dumb like to be able to close the distance I don't think fighters are dumb I'm just said no they're dumb compared to golfers he said dumb fighters not all fighters are dumb you don't think the style vendor is smarter than John Daley you're out of your fucking mind I mean You're out of your fucking mind They're both No that's a tough one I bet he could do Survive a night Partying better than Stylebender Well of course Stylebender's healthy I mean that's not a dista Stylebender I'm just saying John Daly's all there He's got a lot of great stories Very funny guy Very present No brain Zero brain damage A lot of liver damage No hangovers Doesn't feel hangovers Ever?

[1376] Ever How's it possible That's what he said I was gonna show you The video earlier I don't That's what he's got he's a professional isn't it amazing that you can be a full on alcoholic and excel at golf doesn't that throw your fucking idea of intelligence and strategy and all that way like you don't even have to have control of your body you can be an alcoholic okay the greatest fighter of all time is John Jones I rest my case yeah but John Jones never showed up high you don't think you're so funny right now this is like our pro wrestling talks When you take a stand on something, you will say the craziest stuff.

[1377] Nick Diaz has showed up and fought high.

[1378] When he fought Gomi, he was high.

[1379] They suspended him for a long time.

[1380] He tested positive, like, through the roof of his marijuana levels.

[1381] Like, when he fought Gomi, he was high.

[1382] He got Gomi in a Gogo Plata, which is a crazy move to pull off an MMA.

[1383] Super fucking rare.

[1384] If you watch how he sets it up, he gets hit by Gomi.

[1385] I think Gomi even fractured his cheese.

[1386] He goes into the guard.

[1387] Gomi was a fucking powerful puncher.

[1388] Because Gomi would throw punches the way a fastball, like a pitcher would throw a fastball because he was a baseball player.

[1389] So Gomi had like that whip from throwing baseball, baseball rather.

[1390] Did I say basketball?

[1391] I said baseball, right?

[1392] Like you would throw a fastball.

[1393] And he would apply that whip to punching.

[1394] And he cracked Nick and had this big fucking cut on his cheeks, cheeks swole up.

[1395] And they went to the ground and Nick wrapped him up in a go -go plata.

[1396] and put his arm, his arm trapped in one leg, shin underneath the neck, and then gable grips behind the neck and pulls down on its death.

[1397] It's a crazy move to get somebody in the first place, even crazier when you're high as fuck.

[1398] And he was fighting high.

[1399] Yeah.

[1400] Wasn't that sort of the same thing?

[1401] John Jones to Cormier.

[1402] I beat you after a weekend of cocaine.

[1403] The double champ.

[1404] Well, that was the week before.

[1405] He said a weekend of cocaine.

[1406] He didn't beat him.

[1407] him after he didn't like do cocaine that week he did it the week before the fight and on top of that he wasn't fighting on coke nick diaz was fighting high john parties a lot yeah but if you look at john without a shirt off and you look at john dilly without a shirt off you're not making any confusion i mean yes if we're having a beauty pageant no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no if you want to decide hey one of these guys is an athlete and one of these guys plays a game drunk which one you think it is yeah you got me there i mean i don't think that he's not awesome at golf he's a fucking amazing golf player there's no doubt about it i've watched videos of john daily play he's incredible i think it's just amazing that a guy could be like known for being addicted to essentially a drug and just on it all the time and plays on it so smoke cigarettes and drinks coca cola drinks diet coke like 16 diet coax a day yeah but you know there's been pool players like that too like Steve Miserac before he died Steve Miserac was an enormous guy and he was like one of the best players in the world that's way overweight there's another guy Buddy Hall who was also like one of the best players of all time he's one of the best players of all time and in his early days according to his book I've got his I've got a rare copy of his book The Rifleman and his It's like rags to riches, the rifle man. I forget what it was.

[1408] It's an old book that was self -published.

[1409] So it's like the font size is one size on one page and smaller on the next page.

[1410] It's totally janky.

[1411] But it's a dope book.

[1412] It's like a cool book to own because it's rare.

[1413] It's hard to find them.

[1414] Like they sell them on forums and shit.

[1415] They're real expensive.

[1416] But back in the early days, is this John Daly?

[1417] Yeah, but he's got a case of beer on his cart with him.

[1418] Yeah, I like you better than him.

[1419] I like your swing better.

[1420] Well, I like the case of beer, though.

[1421] His swing's pretty fucking.

[1422] Light beer.

[1423] So he's hanging out.

[1424] Him and Shane Gillis.

[1425] They come from the same cloth.

[1426] Yes.

[1427] They really are.

[1428] Big drinkers.

[1429] Shane Gillis on the podcast, 15 Miller lights.

[1430] Yep.

[1431] Bud lights.

[1432] 15 bud lights.

[1433] Yeah, he did 11 on Keltoni, which is only an hour and 45 minutes.

[1434] What a fucking animal.

[1435] I think his drink per minute times even higher.

[1436] But he's meanwhile, he's losing late.

[1437] Yeah.

[1438] Yeah, he's working out all the time.

[1439] He sends me pictures of him flexing.

[1440] He looks good.

[1441] Wow.

[1442] Yeah.

[1443] Yeah, he's hired a fucking trainer.

[1444] He got inspired.

[1445] Something clicked in him He got inspired I love it I'm worried about him Why someone Because that's a lot You drink a 15 beers In a three hour podcast Like holy fuck dude I mean we were with Stanhope last night Look at him looks good That's one of the funniest men alive right there No doubt One of the funniest men alive When I worked with him in Irvine I finally got to watch his whole set When me him and Monty Franklin Did Irvine God damn he killed me moni was very funny too but i had uh seen monny before i had never seen Shane do it like a full set was fucking great his trump is off the charts that trump impression is so good yeah it's the best because he's got great lines like great stand -up comic lines with an amazing impression so you can't stop laughing he's the best it's a good time for comedy buddy yeah it's a good time yeah it's a good time shout out to our boy hans kim because hans kim went up and fun of a fucking arena this kid's been he was homeless two years ago gets on kill tonny he was living in his van four to six months ago live in his van four to six months ago gets on kill tony uh becomes a regular on kill tony shows incredible work ethic like we were talking about before just putting in the time and the effort who puts in the time and effort more than hans nobody Nobody.

[1446] Sometimes I'll look over my shoulders to see what he's doing on his phone and he's always on a spreadsheet.

[1447] Going over bits.

[1448] Staring at jokes, rewriting jokes, taking out a word, adding a word.

[1449] It's a fucking animal.

[1450] He's not doing anything else.

[1451] No bullshit.

[1452] Yeah.

[1453] He's an animal.

[1454] And murdering on stage.

[1455] Yeah.

[1456] He's coming for everybody's jobs.

[1457] He's there.

[1458] He's doing everything that we talked earlier about, which is obsessing hours a day being a crazy person and he loves it he lives for it so Duncan did Colorado with us and then after Colorado Duncan you know came to my house we're all hanging out and he was like dude I'm so inspired now I'm so ready he goes I needed those shows I needed to see like first of all I need to see you guys you're tight and you guys have been doing stand up like so much and he goes and I'm like trimming the fat off this and now I'm excited I want to write more I want to perform more he's like God I feel so good he goes it's so excited And he's moving to Austin.

[1459] Yeah, we're going to have Duncan here, too.

[1460] What a fucking lineup we're going to have, buddy.

[1461] It's crazy.

[1462] Come on, man. It's literally the dream lineup.

[1463] Ron White.

[1464] Maybe we could talk Roseanne into it.

[1465] She's coming.

[1466] I told Stan I would buy an apartment for him.

[1467] I go, come here.

[1468] Just come here.

[1469] Come here whenever you want.

[1470] I'll get you an apartment.

[1471] Yeah.

[1472] Joey Diaz is going to come on a regular basis.

[1473] We're going to do, oh, that's something we're doing that tickets just went on sale for.

[1474] Atlantic City.

[1475] Friday and Saturday.

[1476] June 3rd and 4th, Joey Diaz, Tony Hinchcliff, and me, we're at the Hard Rock, right?

[1477] Is that what it is?

[1478] It's like a new arena.

[1479] New arena at the Hard Rock in Atlantic City.

[1480] Whoa, that's going to be fun.

[1481] And, yeah, we got Joey back on stage again.

[1482] This is all so exciting.

[1483] It's so fun, man. The beautiful thing about having something almost taken away from you, like the way everybody felt about stand -up, is that when it comes back.

[1484] You just, you're so excited and invigorated.

[1485] Like last night, I was so excited.

[1486] Yeah.

[1487] I was so excited to go on stage.

[1488] I couldn't wait.

[1489] I mean, we had such a lineup last night.

[1490] Hans Kim, Doug Stanhope, Roseanne Barr, Ron White, you and me. I mean, it's the show's five assassins deep before I ever even get on stage.

[1491] Yeah.

[1492] That's a crazy lineup anywhere.

[1493] Amazing.

[1494] That's a crazy lineup anywhere.

[1495] I think we have the best crowds.

[1496] Yeah.

[1497] They're the best crowds.

[1498] They're so fun.

[1499] They're so enthusiastic.

[1500] It's all word of mouth.

[1501] Doesn't have that weird L .A., New York.

[1502] We're judging you vibe.

[1503] It's the we came out to have fun.

[1504] Came out to have fun.

[1505] Yeah, they're not coming out because they're in the industry.

[1506] You know, there's people that was sitting in a crowd in L .A. And you know they wanted to be an actor or they think they're going to be in a reality show.

[1507] And there's so much ego.

[1508] Yeah.

[1509] There's so much, but it's not, everybody has ego.

[1510] But it's like, it's not just ego.

[1511] It's like they, it's like they.

[1512] there's like a clout chasing statusy fucking thing to it like who's the coolest guy in the room you know those like people they go in they look for like cool people and they're barely talking to you and then they walk away from you yeah and you're like oh okay right ew like nobody does that here here they just talk yeah it's like normal that fucking that machine that comedy has been connected to for so long has ruined so many potential great comics because it's turned them into like some sitcomy person yeah watered down cleaner version of their funniest self could not just cleaner but like censored right certain subjects are not worth discussing it's too too hard I mean some thing about some of your best bits yeah there's subjects that people don't want to fuck with at all right like there's certain comedians if you fuck with those subjects at all you will get banned from television shows Nobody will want to work with you.

[1513] Nobody will want to have anything to do with you.

[1514] That's why I love it being my bread and butter.

[1515] It's so fun.

[1516] There's a market for it, buddy.

[1517] I was going to say, and the market is swinging around.

[1518] Me. I want to pay for it.

[1519] I want to watch it.

[1520] If I was an audience member, that's what I want to say.

[1521] Yeah.

[1522] You don't have to be espousing your every virtue and political belief on stage.

[1523] You can lie if it's funny.

[1524] Say something funny that's not true.

[1525] I'm just trying to laugh.

[1526] Right.

[1527] Like, I can get my intellectual discourse out in other forms.

[1528] I don't need it in my comedy.

[1529] My comedy, I just need funny.

[1530] I mean, if it's brilliant and creative funny, great.

[1531] But if it's brilliant but not funny, you might want to tighten up that bitch.

[1532] Right.

[1533] Might want to throw a little jokes in there.

[1534] Yeah.

[1535] Last night was fun because I just got to ride that crazy wave that was in the room, the energy.

[1536] And that's a lot of it.

[1537] Yeah.

[1538] That was darned.

[1539] It was fucking awesome.

[1540] It was awesome.

[1541] Hans Kim always starts it off crazy, but that was insane.

[1542] Yeah, well, he's a great guy to get it started off too because he's so structured.

[1543] He gets you into a rhythm very quickly where you're laughing.

[1544] Set up punchline, set up punchline.

[1545] They're all like really good, funny.

[1546] There's no fat in his material.

[1547] Economy of words, excellent.

[1548] It's just, you know, it's cool to see comedy outside of any other system.

[1549] Just comedy by itself.

[1550] You know, it's comedy supported by just life.

[1551] comedy like that's where it's at its best it's when it's connected to all those other things like your potential to do other shows or agents opinions or managers opinions like that's one of the things that we were going over this weekend was like opinions that people have given guys like Duncan or you or just terrible ideas that they've given you like what you should be doing with your career and what where you're messing up and that those things that told you not to do wind up being the best things you ever do yeah yeah got to be untethered from the system you know i feel bad for a lot of the lot of the people that i started with they never changed their like goals they want when i started i was like part of the last group of being on the tonight show and getting a comedy central half hour is the ultimate like obviously a one hour HBO special but those weren't even really being given out comedy central one hour specials at the top but people were still striving to be on conan or the tonight show when i very first started and that is a specific kind of set as we just saw when we tried to watch todd bergen whatever right teddy bergeron yeah teddy bergeron that that was like you know a lot of set up very like odd segways 1984 he had some really good bits that just wasn't it that wasn't a good set but my point is is like a lot of the people that i started with Got good at those types of sets, censored TV sets.

[1552] And it's just safe.

[1553] You could see it on TV, so why would people buy tickets?

[1554] But there's some guys that are great at that, like Brian Regan, who has that kind of everything's safe on television, but it's brilliant.

[1555] Yeah.

[1556] And it's hilarious.

[1557] Or Jim Gaffigan, same deal.

[1558] Right.

[1559] All safe for television, but brilliant.

[1560] Right.

[1561] Yeah.

[1562] And then after those two, which we all name, these come up there is a long drop -off who else is out there that's like uh super squeaky clean that's really good who else in that vein in that vein i would say they're the two guys brian reagan and gaffigan are the two guys they are the squeaky guys that murder well actually no you got to say sebastian too that's who i was thinking yeah you got a factor in Sebastian because Sebastian squeaky clean and he murders like Sebastian you could bring your grandmother you could bring your uncle you could bring your dad you can bring anybody like and if you're on the East Coast that fucking guy's killing it he sold out four shows in Madison Square Garden that's just preposterous like what what that's outrageous he's so cool he's very cool and that um that's about it yeah who else name another one park Nate Nate Bargahtze.

[1563] Oh, Nate Bargazzi.

[1564] It's pretty clean, right?

[1565] Nate is hilarious.

[1566] Very clean.

[1567] That's good.

[1568] Good catch.

[1569] Nate, that's about it.

[1570] Is that it?

[1571] Are we done?

[1572] I literally can't think of anything.

[1573] There's a few wizards.

[1574] But the thing is like Nate and Gaffigan, if you talk to them offstage, they have the same sense of humor offstage.

[1575] Like, it's that sort of dry, like, hilarious, but clean the view of things that's very funny.

[1576] There's not a lot of those guys.

[1577] Mm -mm.

[1578] Yeah.

[1579] Dane Cook was clean, I guess, right?

[1580] No, he had swears.

[1581] Yeah.

[1582] He swore.

[1583] Yeah, he had, he definitely had sex material.

[1584] He had swears.

[1585] He had, he was just regular.

[1586] There's not a lot of guys that commit to that completely clean thing, you know?

[1587] You know, Jay Leno is a great example.

[1588] Someone was, like, completely clean.

[1589] Fluffy?

[1590] Oh, yeah, Gabriel's, yeah, super clean.

[1591] Gabriel, who fucking sells out more than him?

[1592] He sells out.

[1593] Dodger Stadium.

[1594] Yeah.

[1595] Oh, my God.

[1596] And it's not like he's not around L .A. all the time as well, you know?

[1597] Do you know Fluffy has like a whole garage filled with VW bugs?

[1598] No. Yeah, he doesn't collect cars.

[1599] He collects one kind of car over and over and over and over again.

[1600] Wow.

[1601] Yeah, it's the weirdest thing.

[1602] It's a weirdest thing to collect.

[1603] He has a whole warehouse filled with, these reconditioned VW bugs.

[1604] Look at this.

[1605] How incredible is that?

[1606] Like, why would he have so many of these bugs?

[1607] I don't get it.

[1608] Like, what is it about this one particular?

[1609] He's got a nice fiber, too.

[1610] But it's all, it's weird.

[1611] Three million dollar VW bus collection.

[1612] What the fuck, man?

[1613] How weird is that?

[1614] How many VW buses he has?

[1615] Come on.

[1616] Yeah, it's interesting.

[1617] I wonder if they're different.

[1618] Bro, that's bizarre as fuck.

[1619] He's got a whole, warehouse filled with VW buses.

[1620] Look, look at his warehouse.

[1621] Warehouse is fucking dope.

[1622] Look at how crazy that is.

[1623] Look at the Fluffy Museum.

[1624] Oh my God.

[1625] So he's got a massive ass warehouse filled with artwork and shit.

[1626] What is he saying about those paintings?

[1627] Give me some volume on this.

[1628] Fluffy Museum to resemble the personal favorite buses.

[1629] Because I don't have a cocaine problem and I needed somewhere to spend the money.

[1630] Honestly.

[1631] I talked to Jay Leno.

[1632] and Jay told me, he says, you know what?

[1633] He says, people are going to tell you to invest your money certain ways.

[1634] He goes, but with me, he goes, I like the cars because, first of all, if they're classic, it is an investment.

[1635] It's an investment you can enjoy.

[1636] So you can drive them, and when you sell them, they'll be worth more.

[1637] Each one of these is valued somewhere between 1 to 200 ,000.

[1638] Now, I have no intention of selling.

[1639] But at the end of the day, as soon as I'm gone, and when I'm being gone, this is going to be turned into a museum for the city of Long Beach.

[1640] Wow.

[1641] I like that firebird, too.

[1642] I need to get one of those and grow me a Bert Reynolds' mustache.

[1643] Yeah.

[1644] Yeah, dye it black.

[1645] Maybe get a toupee.

[1646] Whoa.

[1647] Maybe a cowboy hat.

[1648] Let's do it.

[1649] I'm ready.

[1650] You see a firebird.

[1651] You want to be fucking Bert Reynolds.

[1652] Look at that firebird.

[1653] You want a classic, though.

[1654] Oh, it's signed by Bert Reynolds.

[1655] Oh, wow.

[1656] There is.

[1657] That's me. I need that look.

[1658] That's how I feel when I got on my cowboy hat.

[1659] That seems like a conversion.

[1660] I don't look at that thing that's a real one I think that might be a conversion because you see what it says I have a feeling that that is a new suit it says like right there give me some volume we sent the black Camaro over to our friends at Transcend people over in Florida in about six months they turned that black Camaro into this beautiful thing of art I am so scared to drive this car unfortunately as soon as Bert Reynolds passed away the value of this thing went through the roof And, yeah, if I scuff it at Starbucks, I'm going to cry.

[1661] That's a Camaro.

[1662] It's a modern Camaro that they redid to make it look like a Pontiac Firebird.

[1663] Because the Pontiac doesn't exist anymore, and Pontiac was a GM car.

[1664] So, like, if you go back to like 1968, the Pontiac Firebird shared in common a lot of parts with the Camaro of that year.

[1665] Like, if you looked at them, it's a very similar body shape.

[1666] They just had a little bit of a difference in the rear tail light assembly and a little bit of difference in the grill and the front bumper and all that jazz.

[1667] the hood, but a firebird and a Camaro were almost, they were almost interchangeable.

[1668] So with this new one, they take it, since Pontiac doesn't exist anymore, they take it and they send it to a company and the company converts it.

[1669] That's what I was looking at that.

[1670] I'm like, that thing looks too modern.

[1671] This is his first car.

[1672] 1968 Volkswagen Transporter that served as his first car when he was 17 years old.

[1673] That's amazing.

[1674] Got 80 of them now.

[1675] That's crazy.

[1676] 80.

[1677] 80 VW.

[1678] The problem with those is you need a specific motherfucker to buy those.

[1679] You know, you buy a bunch of corvettes.

[1680] Everybody wants a corvette.

[1681] Right.

[1682] You buy a bunch of those things and people go, uh, yeah, it's cool.

[1683] I guess.

[1684] Yeah.

[1685] And if you're gonna get one, why would you get an expensive one?

[1686] But you know what that shows me?

[1687] That Fluffy doesn't give a fuck.

[1688] Because he's not trying to impress anybody with his VW bugs.

[1689] He likes him.

[1690] He's buying him because he likes them.

[1691] It's a way to make sure your business manager doesn't steal your money.

[1692] invest in bugs.

[1693] You gotta sell those though, dude.

[1694] Maybe I'm wrong.

[1695] Maybe it's easy to sell them.

[1696] But maybe it's not easy to sell 80 of them.

[1697] There's a sweet transam he's got.

[1698] Yeah, so that's a real one.

[1699] That looks like a real transab to me. The one to the right, that's a charger, the one the front's a challenger.

[1700] That transam to the right lower corner where you only see the front fender.

[1701] That's the conversion one.

[1702] So that's basically the only one that's like really drives well and handles well.

[1703] Because it handles like modern Camaro's.

[1704] They make a modern Camaro.

[1705] I think, what is it, the LT1, I think is their killer Camaro.

[1706] They make a modern Camaro with 600 plus horsepower.

[1707] It's fucking preposterous.

[1708] Do you know why they call it a transam?

[1709] It's a type of race.

[1710] It's like a car that was, it's a model named after a type of car for racing, I believe.

[1711] I think it's like a Transam race.

[1712] What is it?

[1713] Because there's I Rock, right?

[1714] international race of champions was an iraq transam that was a type of transam that was like all the guido's had back when i lived in uh boston guys who had an iraq like oh he's the shit look at he's got his irock it sounded good when they pulled up brum brum there the bomb diggedy back then what is yeah i don't know much about cars i just know that i'm now obsessed with corvats well you have a c8 which is the absolute best Corvette that's ever been made the new Corvette is a fucking masterpiece it's so good dude it brings me so much joy on a daily basis that it's crazy I can imagine it's a I love your car I'm so happy you got it I like to sit in it and just fucking just the the way they have contoured that dashboard and have this panel to the right with all the buttons on it and then you're you're holding that steering when you're locked into I'm like my God this thing is good legit race style like rectangle wheel, whatever that's called.

[1715] They should make it in a six -speed manual, though.

[1716] They should have a few of those as an option, Corvette.

[1717] Just please.

[1718] I know it's not as fast, zero -60, but that's not the, we're not in a race.

[1719] It's about enjoyment.

[1720] And for someone like me who loves a manual transmission, the enjoyment of a manual transmission is so much better than just paddle shifts and just or keeping it in drive and just driving around.

[1721] I mean, sure that's better in terms of like speed and efficiency, but part of what's fun about a vehicle is your engagement with it.

[1722] You know, you're shifting.

[1723] It's putting that clutch in and pushing forward.

[1724] Oh, but only with a six -cylinder engine.

[1725] What is the other engine?

[1726] A four -cylinder?

[1727] Must be, right?

[1728] I just saw that clicked on it so you get that info.

[1729] Oh, boy.

[1730] That's good.

[1731] Good for them.

[1732] That's smart because they want to make something that's exciting.

[1733] The new Z -car, I don't know what number they're calling the new Z -car, but the new Z -car comes in a manual.

[1734] These fucking guys, They make these cars.

[1735] Look, I know you want to make them the fastest zero to 60, but you also want to make it fun to drive.

[1736] And fun to drive for a lot of people like myself is manual.

[1737] Manuals are more fun.

[1738] It's, like, quite a bit more fun.

[1739] When I drive my Chevelle and I'm driving that thing, it's, man, I'm shifting.

[1740] I feel like it's in a fucking movie.

[1741] That's shifting of the gears yourself.

[1742] It's like, ah, so exciting.

[1743] So exciting.

[1744] Yeah, I can live without it.

[1745] It keeps me. It keeps me. I like both hands on the wheel and hitting the gas and focusing solely on not spinning out.

[1746] That's good, too.

[1747] Yeah.

[1748] Well, your car is also supremely balanced.

[1749] Yep.

[1750] Like, when you open up that back trunk, you see that engine sitting right there behind the passenger, or behind the driver, rather, like right in front of the back wheels.

[1751] Like, wow.

[1752] Total game changer.

[1753] Our buddy got us good because he knew I was going to buy that.

[1754] Oh, yeah.

[1755] Well, you should.

[1756] Corvette ZR1 could pack 850 horsepower from Twin Turbo V8.

[1757] I'll do you one better.

[1758] They have an electric hybrid four -wheel drive Corvette coming out.

[1759] Yeah.

[1760] It's going to be electric hybrid four -wheel drive Corvette.

[1761] Electric.

[1762] Yep.

[1763] They've been practicing in the snow.

[1764] It's a hybrid, like the new NSX.

[1765] The new NSX has a combustion engine that's very powerful.

[1766] And then on top of that, it has electric engines that add instantaneous acceleration to the wheels.

[1767] Electric Corvette confirmed.

[1768] Hybrid arriving in 2023.

[1769] And they don't know exactly what's going on because they're just seeing like test mules run, but one thing they know about these test mules is that they're spinning off the front tires.

[1770] So they're watching them driving snow and shit and spitting off the front tires, unless there's been more information that's leaked.

[1771] But that's clear.

[1772] I don't know why they cover it up with the design, like they camouflage it, because we already know what the record.

[1773] one looks like now.

[1774] Like before when we didn't know what it looked like, it made sense that they were covering it out.

[1775] Let me see what the pictures look like.

[1776] They're fake covered up pictures.

[1777] So it's wider.

[1778] It looks like, see the fenders how they're flared out?

[1779] See like with the rear fender and the front fender how it looks like they're more bulbous?

[1780] It's because they go out further sideways, which means it's got a wider track.

[1781] So it has wider tires on it.

[1782] I bet it's going to be a fucking monster.

[1783] Because that platform that they're building it on, that platform is so good.

[1784] They did a drag race with a C8 Corvette.

[1785] See if you can find this.

[1786] C8 Corvette versus Shelby G .T. 500.

[1787] Now, a Shelby GT 500 has 700 plus horsepower.

[1788] The Corvette has 495.

[1789] The Corvette's faster.

[1790] Ooh, I like that.

[1791] And that wild?

[1792] It feels like it.

[1793] It's weight.

[1794] It's because it's a fiberglass car.

[1795] It's weight.

[1796] It's fairly lightweight.

[1797] It's also the distribution of the weight is right over the rear wheels.

[1798] It's in the center, right?

[1799] but it's good, so it gets plenty of traction.

[1800] It's one of the things that makes Porsche's move so fast is their weight, the engine weight is right over the rear wheels.

[1801] That's a rear engine car.

[1802] The Corvette is even more balanced than that.

[1803] Corvette's a mid -engine car, like the Cayman.

[1804] Like the Cayman is probably the best balanced of the Porsches, but they make it a little bit underpowered because the 9 -11's their bread and butter.

[1805] That's like the classic iconic vehicle.

[1806] Yeah, I rented a car in L .A. when we were there a few weeks ago for the weekend, and I realized that I feel so much safer in my Corvette.

[1807] Being able to have the ability to accelerate out of a problem is, it feels like twice as much as just being able to break.

[1808] You know what I mean?

[1809] You need both, but you can definitely avoid things.

[1810] Your car's nimble.

[1811] Yes.

[1812] That means a lot.

[1813] If you can get away from some shit that's going down.

[1814] Because if you're in a truck, like a big, heavy, wobbly truck, and you have to turn fast, you're fucked.

[1815] Yeah.

[1816] You know, you're in one of those cars.

[1817] You might be able to avoid something that somebody might find it.

[1818] I don't know if there's one you were looking for, but I found a few.

[1819] There's one on Hennessy's page.

[1820] Oh, well, the thing about Hennessy, oh, is Hennessy doing it?

[1821] Because he takes that Corvette, the regular Corvette, and wait for it.

[1822] Ready?

[1823] Makes the motherfucker a thousand horsepower.

[1824] Oh.

[1825] Yeah.

[1826] Imagine your car, but a thousand horsepower.

[1827] Look how fast that Corvette is going.

[1828] And one of the reasons is because the tires don't hook up that quick on the Gt 500 because it doesn't have the weight in the back and I used to say well at least the Gt 500 you get it a stick shift but you can't even get in a stick shift anymore everything is moving to fucking stupid automatics everything but um the C8's just a superior car superior looks superior design superior handling it's the best Corvette of all time and bonus if you're a golfer it literally fits a golf bag perfectly in the back trunk.

[1829] The front trunk I use for everything, there's nothing more fun than popping the hood and pulling out a gym bag and going to work out or whatever.

[1830] But the back specifically, the back slot so you see your engine that you just drove 25 minutes to a golf course and you can sort of feel the heat.

[1831] If you drive like a maniac like I like to drive out here on these Texas lawless streets.

[1832] Right behind you, you feel right behind you.

[1833] And when you crack open that trunk you feel the heat of the engine and it's foop just enough for literally a golf bag like it is that size do you want to go to a racetrack with that car hell yeah let's do it i could set that up what i know a guy okay sweet yeah i know a guy we can um we could set up some uh some hot laps and do some shit yeah yeah Tommy's done it out here a bunch you know Tommy's a freak for cars Tommy has a, I don't know, does he talk about, I'm telling him anybody.

[1834] I was going to say, I don't know if he keeps this a secret, but he bought a Cayman, and he had it sent down to this place in Florida that converts it into 560 horsepower.

[1835] So it's a manual transmission, 560 horsepower Cayman, and it's a fucking demon.

[1836] He brought it to my house, and just the sound of it was like, oh, my God, dude, this sounds glorious.

[1837] It sounded so good.

[1838] And as he was driving off, I just, like, cupped my ears and listened.

[1839] That's what we're going to miss with electric cars.

[1840] Yeah, that's the part.

[1841] I'm not really that pumped about the thought of an electric corvette.

[1842] Have you driven a Tesla before?

[1843] Yeah, I just don't see.

[1844] I don't know.

[1845] Listen, my car, you want to have a race?

[1846] Yeah, no, I know.

[1847] My Tesla that I have out there, that fucking family vehicle, that thing will leave you in the dust.

[1848] I know, but it's so quiet and blame.

[1849] It's like a nerd.

[1850] class it's like driving an iPhone you have to charge it it's just seems too pure it seems like too good of a thing too good of a thing I like smoking cigarettes and burning oil give me a hot cup of coffee throw a shot of espresso in that coffee yeah but if you compare that to like manual transmissions and old muscle cars then you understand me because that's what I like I go all the way I like cars that are almost like completely just unpractical or impractical and then a car that's from the future like my Tesla.

[1851] I love driving that car.

[1852] The only thing I don't like is I don't have a fucking horn on the steering wheel.

[1853] The steering wheel doesn't have a horn in the center.

[1854] The horn's a button.

[1855] Apparently for the new ones, they move the horn to the center.

[1856] It's the only thing I don't like about it.

[1857] I can get used to the buttons being the directional changers on buttons.

[1858] The stock's the best, though.

[1859] Why fuck with professional?

[1860] that stalk for changing like that way it goes left that way goes right we've been doing that forever it's so easy to do why would you remove that but in their infinite wisdom to put everything minimalist and you know make everything buttons it's on the steering wheel they removed everything the turning signal is that buttons really yes on the Tesla yes see what I'm talking about that's not good not only is it not good you don't know if you're hitting the left or the right until you look down that's what it looks like now that's what my steering wheel I'll show you outside if you you want to drive it though you'll throw your car in the garbage no i will not it's so much faster in your car it's so much faster in your car it seems like your time traveling i mean i can't imagine going faster than how fast i already how about twice as fast what are you talking about that car's twice as fast well i mean it can't be twice as fast that's what you're saying until you hit the gas no come on i'm telling you i'm telling you that car goes zero to 60 in 1 .9 seconds where where can you do that out where everyone no one's looking 60 isn't even violating the speed limit you can merge onto an on ramp when you merge onto an on ramp on a highway you instantaneously go the speed limit going zero to 60 silently isn't it's like if a tree falls in the forest going to zero to 60 without the sound of an engine no no no it's not it's not it's not at all it's like you hit the gas and you go oh shit And you go flying Dude, if you're a passenger I'll have your shit in your pants Yeah, no, you drove me once We drove from the Hollywood Improv To the comedy store That's the old one Oh, the new one's even faster Are you serious?

[1861] A lot faster I remember that one I remember specifically the feeling Of the back of my head Being smushed against the passenger seat This new one is one Almost a full second faster Zero to 60 Wow It's so fast It's about a half a second Fast What is it?

[1862] The old one I think was 2 .5 seconds, zero to 60, something like that.

[1863] So it's six -tenths, six -tenths of a second faster zero to 60.

[1864] Think of that.

[1865] That's how fast it is.

[1866] It's insane.

[1867] It's so fast.

[1868] It's effortless.

[1869] Like if you want to go around something, there's some shit's going on, just go, and you're just there.

[1870] You're there like instantly.

[1871] And nothing, it's like your...

[1872] But that doesn't it go like, beep, beep, beep, there's cars in the right lane or something like that.

[1873] Beep, beep, beep, beep.

[1874] Seems like it would beep a lot, like a lot of alerts, because it knows what's going on.

[1875] My Corvette, it's like, if you want to wrap it around a tree, bro, you're going to have to buy another one.

[1876] Is that what it says?

[1877] No, it says nothing.

[1878] It says, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[1879] I love your car.

[1880] Either way, I love it.

[1881] I just love that they still make cars like that.

[1882] I love that, I mean, this is a weird time for cars, because it's that transition between the combustion engines and the electric engines.

[1883] Like, they're saying right now that there's some cars is the last they're going to offer of a certain.

[1884] car before they go electric.

[1885] So quite a few cars are just going to fade out or become electric.

[1886] Like Cadillacs.

[1887] Cadillac is putting out...

[1888] They have a four -door sedan that you can buy that's fast as fuck that has a manual transmission.

[1889] It's crazy.

[1890] I'm like, who are you marketing this for?

[1891] It's weird.

[1892] It's a weird car.

[1893] It's...

[1894] I forget what it's called.

[1895] Something wing.

[1896] Something wing.

[1897] but it's a preposterous car like it's so strange it's like fast as an M5 it's four doors and there's a stick shift and a clutch you're like what what is this it's weird who is it called some new Cadillac four door manual transmission supercar it's a truck no no no no no no it's a sedan blackawk that's right I was saying wing is wing black wing what does it look like is it shaped like a sports car like a luxury car like a luxury car wow a luxury car that's fast as fuck and here's the it has four doors and a manual transmission here's something that i've noticed lately because again not only did i get a rental in la but i also had a uh what is it a borrow car here from the dealership that gave me this Porsche brand new 2022 luxury automobile and the luxury of the Corvette exceeds the luxury of these luxury cars.

[1898] What did you have?

[1899] What kind of luxury car did you get?

[1900] A Porsche.

[1901] Tycan?

[1902] No, that's the electric one, right?

[1903] Look at that thing.

[1904] That's the new Cadillac.

[1905] That's a wild -looking Cadillac.

[1906] That is cool.

[1907] It's really fast as fuck too.

[1908] They should bring back some of those old ones.

[1909] And so those old boat body, those thick boys.

[1910] Well, the thing about that car, your car, is the suspension is a magnetic adjustable suspension.

[1911] And so the suspension is attached to a computer, and the computer reads the road.

[1912] So if the road is fucked up, it smooths out the fucked up parts.

[1913] And if the road is flat, it stiffens the suspension, so it helps your handling.

[1914] So as long as it, and when it gets disturbed, I mean, it does calculations, like some insane speed of calculations that recognizes the terrain and the differences of the terrain.

[1915] The magnetic ride suspension is the GM vehicles are using now.

[1916] The Cadillac uses it and the Corvette uses it an even more sophisticated version, I think.

[1917] It's insane.

[1918] My Corvette is if you push the button, it raises the front five inches, which is critical everywhere.

[1919] L .A. was crazy.

[1920] Here's really crazy.

[1921] Because some of these parking lots, they're just not built properly.

[1922] But doesn't it remember?

[1923] If you press another button.

[1924] So it really easy right thumb on the wheel thing to remember so it could be a one -time thing or you press that button again so like every time i go to my coffee shop which has a weird lip on the front it raises all the way and it stays raised until i'm out and then once you're whatever 40 60 feet away from your gps remembered spot it lowers itself wow yeah it is the best because it was so annoying The, even just the 2019, because it has, it's not, it sounds worse than it is.

[1925] Scrape.

[1926] It's just plastic, but that scrape would, it just.

[1927] You can't be cool pulling in a car and scraping.

[1928] Uh -uh.

[1929] Not at all.

[1930] And what, what I noticed is always like the passenger saying like, oof, like, that's the part that was more annoying because it's like they think that I just did something.

[1931] Ruined your car.

[1932] Right.

[1933] Yeah.

[1934] Yeah.

[1935] It's only a matter of time before all cars are autonomous.

[1936] I would say it's probably 20 years.

[1937] I would say within 20 years from now, you're not going to see anybody driving their car on the road unless they're nuts.

[1938] It's fluffy driving around one of his fucking VW buses.

[1939] I think most people are going to be driving some sort of an autonomous vehicle.

[1940] You get in it, you program your directions, and it goes, and we're going to realize that they're safer and going to reduce accidents in an incredible way.

[1941] Probably going to eliminate them.

[1942] them when you get everybody on the system and they're all in those things but you know what freaks me out when uh the ukraine invasion happened when it first happened a lot of people were saying that Elon must should shut off all the teslas that are in ukraine and I was thinking like wait a minute he could do that yeah of course you could do that and I was like oh that's not good it's not good to have someone to have the ability to shut off your fucking car when you're on the highway yeah you could just shut it off yeah you could just shut it off yeah you You know, they can do that if you're in a chase in some vehicles.

[1943] In some vehicles, like, I think it's OnStar.

[1944] It may be, look up this.

[1945] Does OnStar have the ability to shut off a car if it's being stolen?

[1946] They have to.

[1947] So if it's not just, if it's being stolen, that also means if they're in pursuit of you.

[1948] So if you're in that CA Corvette and some cops are chasing after you and some fucking shitbox, stupid fucking Ford Explorer, they're going to keep up with you?

[1949] Ha, good luck.

[1950] You're going to be taking quarters like this.

[1951] You're going to be gone.

[1952] OnStar's stolen vehicle assistance can help counteract.

[1953] Okay, here it is.

[1954] A member has filed a police report, and once authorities have confirmed conditions are appropriate, an on -star advisor can send a signal to disable the stolen vehicle's engine and gradually slow the vehicle to an idle speed to assist police and recovering the vehicle.

[1955] Wow.

[1956] So you have to file a police report.

[1957] But that's like, how long does that take?

[1958] How do they...

[1959] And all those high speed chase videos we've seen, I feel like I've never seen, they're like, oh, and the OnStar got them, and the car stopped.

[1960] Yeah, they had different cars.

[1961] But click on that bottom part that said, how do you disable OnStar?

[1962] How do Thieves?

[1963] So go back onto it?

[1964] How do Thieves disable OnStar?

[1965] Right there?

[1966] Search for?

[1967] Bottom?

[1968] I clicked on.

[1969] It's right here.

[1970] Oh, oh, sorry, sorry.

[1971] The only way to completely eliminate OnStar is to physically disconnect the module from your vehicle, the OnStar system and its related services, automatic crash response and emergency services, no other system in the vehicle should stop working when you disconnect the module.

[1972] Oh, well, fucking, I just grab that thing with a pair of pliers and we're good to go.

[1973] Coppers, see ya.

[1974] That OnStar's the shit.

[1975] Is it?

[1976] Oh, my God.

[1977] When you have to use it and they do it, you're like, wow.

[1978] It's great if you lock your keys in your car.

[1979] They'll just open your car for you.

[1980] You make a phone call.

[1981] Yep.

[1982] And they open your keys.

[1983] Yeah, and you're like, yeah, I'm right here.

[1984] And they're like, okay.

[1985] Doot doop.

[1986] You hear that lock.

[1987] unlock it's so cool that is so trusting big brother though yeah so trusting the the man to look over you so you never thought about that on star thing so that's in my car for sure so they already the thing i'm most worried about with the electric cars being able to shut everything down they can already do that to me what well you can have that module with a pair of pliers and yank the fucker right out of the dash you don't need your on star and i'm gonna keep it i like it convenient i think the odds of me locking my keys in my car better than me getting in a police chase yes Yeah, for sure, for sure.

[1988] No, it's modern conveniences.

[1989] They're pretty special.

[1990] But there's something also to know conveniences, you know?

[1991] There's something to just driving old things, old McKay.

[1992] Like, I think when you get some cash, as you become a wealthy comedian, you're going to start collecting some cars.

[1993] I could see you.

[1994] We're going to have to get you into an old muscle car.

[1995] What do you think you would look good in?

[1996] I think you'd look good in a 1969.

[1997] Corvette oh is that what Ron has Ron has a Corvette no Ron has C1 you know mine I have a C2 So I have a 65 and Ron has a I think he has a late 50s He is he's a beautiful car yeah whatever that is see if you can find Ron White's Corvette I'm sure it's 56 is it's gorgeous whatever that thing is is the dream yeah my friend Casey is working on it right now he's putting fuel injection in Ron's car That's it That's it That's it right there Look at that thing That's so nice God that's nice His has a trunk You open it up There's a bar in it Yep And now you open it up It just has a A bag of dirt With mushrooms growing in it It's a great car though The guy who built it Did a fucking fantastic job Does that someone driving it Kurt Bush NASCAR driver Yeah NASCAR champion Is he gonna give it A beat ride Ron in true form with his cigar Listen to the sound of that That's what you can't fuck with an electric car That echoey Kind of tinny muscle car sound like that sound I love that sound Listen to that Look at that car Ron White God damn it That's a hell of a car One of the coolest humans on planet Earth I love him to death He's one of those guys that like he's a good poster boy for getting sober yeah I can't imagine they're really being a better one because that's a guy that we only saw with a drink in his hand forever he sells tequila he's got a tequila company yeah number one tequila his shells for it after shills for it yeah yeah he's one of the big reasons why I moved out here we had so much fun me too the way he talked to me about it but he moved out here long before the pandemic he was telling me how great it was and I was like really you love it that much goes well I'm gonna be in L .A. every now and then I'm gonna come and do the store but man it's just a better life for me out here because he's a golfer golf and live music yes getting to having the option to go see multiple different types of shows a night is unbelievable yeah the bands that we get to see the energy yeah yeah it's good for the good for the soul it is right And it feels like, I don't know, man, we just, we always, we had a good thing going on in L .A. But it feels like better now.

[1998] It really does.

[1999] It feels like, the only thing that's missing is like guys like Diaz being around on a regular basis.

[2000] Right.

[2001] You know, but we have enough guys that are around on a regular basis that are really killing it.

[2002] Yeah.

[2003] That it's just, it feels like something special.

[2004] It's exciting.

[2005] And you know what else is exciting?

[2006] Stand up live this weekend, ladies and gentlemen in Phoenix, Arizona.

[2007] Tony, motherfucking Hinchcliff, William Montgomery.

[2008] Tickets available.

[2009] go to standup live .com or whatever the fuck it is.

[2010] Tony Hinchcliff on Instagram.

[2011] Tony Hinscliff on Twitter.

[2012] Look at that.

[2013] That must be the McVader, right?

[2014] He did that.

[2015] It's too good for anybody else.

[2016] Yeah, he does all my stuff.

[2017] Thursday, I'm at the Copper Blues Live, which I guess is in like Northern Phoenix or something like that.

[2018] Oh, I've never even heard of that.

[2019] Yeah.

[2020] It's a new club from those guys.

[2021] Nice.

[2022] Who are the best.

[2023] That's one of the best clubs in the country, Stand Up Live.

[2024] Yes, it's an amazing club.

[2025] It's an amazing club.

[2026] It's a great spot, too.

[2027] It's like set up great.

[2028] It's a big -ass place, man. Huge.

[2029] So I'll probably be there Friday, hang out with you.

[2030] And Saturday is the UFC.

[2031] You're going to come for some of the fights.

[2032] I'm going to try, yeah.

[2033] Phoenix shows that night.

[2034] And Phoenix, I will see you soon.

[2035] And in Atlantic City, I think there's tickets available for Saturday.

[2036] I think Friday's gone, but there's some tickets available for Saturday for Atlantic City.

[2037] We're going to have some fun with Joey Diaz.

[2038] Tony Inchcliffe, I love you.

[2039] You're the best.

[2040] So much fun.

[2041] Love you too.

[2042] You've been having a good time, man. Thank you.

[2043] We've had a lot of fun.

[2044] Hell, hell, yeah.

[2045] All right.

[2046] everybody.