#1199 - Tom Segura & Sean Anders

[0] God, I didn't realize how good your hair is.

[1] Thanks.

[2] I'm losing it, but what's left of it is still working.

[3] Boom, and we're live, gentlemen.

[4] Hello, Sean.

[5] Hey, how are you?

[6] Hello, Tom.

[7] Hello, Joseph.

[8] You guys did a movie?

[9] Did you make a movie?

[10] We made a movie.

[11] We did.

[12] You guys do movies?

[13] We do.

[14] We're movie guys.

[15] How many movies have you made?

[16] One.

[17] Well, but you've made.

[18] How many have you made before?

[19] Like six, but we've made one.

[20] We've made one.

[21] What's your favorite one other than the one that's right now, which is definitely your favorite?

[22] Because you're promoting it right now.

[23] Sex Drive.

[24] Sex Tribe.

[25] Which one was that?

[26] It's the one nobody knows about it.

[27] Yeah, it's the first one.

[28] Nobody knows about it?

[29] I mean, it was one of those movies that just opened and nobody knew about it, but it was a really, really fun movie.

[30] Maybe we could change that.

[31] Yeah.

[32] On iTunes or Netflix?

[33] Yeah, yeah.

[34] It's all right.

[35] James Morrison's in it.

[36] This is the one, is this the one that you, like, when you made it, you're like, and maybe I'll go back to work in fucking construction or whatever.

[37] Yeah, yeah.

[38] So I thought, I thought it was over after that.

[39] Did you finance it or anything?

[40] No, no. We made it.

[41] we made it with summit pictures and it was it was amazing they they they uh we were in town trying to get a career going you know trying to trying to make things happen we were making a tv pilot at the time which was a living hell and uh and we had gone out and pitched this uh idea to a bunch of places and nobody bought it so then in the middle of our uh editing our pilot summit pictures called and said um we really we keep thinking about that pitch would you guys be willing to write it and i said you know what, tell them, I was really busy.

[42] I said, tell them we'll write it if I can direct it, but I figured that would make them go away.

[43] And they said, all right.

[44] And so we went in and we wrote it, and we turned it in, and they greenlit it.

[45] It was this crazy, it was just this crazy process where we got this movie greenlit.

[46] And I think we wrote the draft in like a month.

[47] And we turned it in, and they loved it.

[48] What's it about?

[49] It's a teen road trip movie.

[50] It's about these kids that, it was kind of in the early days of the, you know, Facebook and all that stuff.

[51] And it might have even been, I don't know, I can never.

[52] track the, it might have even been like sort of my space into Facebook that era, you know, but it was about a kid who meets a girl online and goes to Luce's virginity on a road trip.

[53] It's funny.

[54] Shit.

[55] It is funny, yeah.

[56] Marsden's in it.

[57] James Marsden, he's really funny.

[58] Clark Duke and, yeah, I had a good cast and...

[59] There it is.

[60] Yeah, wow, good.

[61] Damn.

[62] But it was a really great experience.

[63] It was really fun.

[64] And then we tested it, we did the test screenings and it just murdered.

[65] Like, it was just And the studio got really excited, and I thought, oh, my God, like, I'm going to have a huge career.

[66] And the movie came out and didn't do any business at all.

[67] It was like, okay, I'm going to go back to Wisconsin and not have a career at all.

[68] Is it true that instant family you hired Tom because Burt Kreischer wasn't available?

[69] Yes.

[70] God damn it.

[71] Don't tell me that, man. That's what I had heard.

[72] Well, and he was asking for a lot of money, a lot more than.

[73] Well, you know, Bert is.

[74] It's lofty with its expectation.

[75] He's like, whatever Mark gets, I want double.

[76] I want double.

[77] And then they were like, we can't do it.

[78] So this movie is based in no small part on your own life experiences.

[79] It is.

[80] Of adopting an actual, you adopted like a full family.

[81] Three human children, yeah.

[82] That's wild.

[83] That's a bold maneuver, sir.

[84] Yeah.

[85] What were the ages?

[86] Six, three, and a year and a half.

[87] Wow.

[88] Yeah.

[89] What was the process?

[90] us.

[91] Well, it starts, and this is how it starts in the movie as well.

[92] My wife and I, for years, I wasn't making any money, including after I made sex drive.

[93] And I, so I didn't really feel like I could afford to have kids.

[94] So whenever we'd talk about it, I'd just be like, you know, not there yet.

[95] And then finally, when I felt like I was doing better, I was starting to get a career together, I just started to feel like I was going to be one of those old dads, you know?

[96] Like, by the time the kid was a teenager, I wasn't going to be able to play with it.

[97] how old do you know i'm 49 now i was 41 at the time and uh so god is that right oh man it's depressing anyway uh so i i i made this dumb joke to my wife i said look why don't we just adopt a five year old it'll be like i got started five years ago and like i'm you know right back in the game and she was like you know that's actually a really interesting idea and i was like no i'm i was totally kidding didn't mean anything about that at all and and then she went to a website and she showed me the website and then when I saw the website I was like oh wow you see these kids you see their faces you start to learn a little bit more about it and we just started having conversations and it it went from there now I got three kids in a movie and they're all siblings yes so they all came from one mom and what is how did they get separated from the family um I don't have a lot of details about that you know they don't really tell you right you know you know a little bit but not much I mean I mean, I know that there was, that there were issues with drugs, and I think there was some kind of a fire at some point, but it's all pretty, pretty sketchy as far as what you hear.

[98] So you learn a lot about the kids themselves, but not that much about the situation.

[99] And what made you want to turn this into a film?

[100] Like, I would imagine that's a very personal experience.

[101] Yeah.

[102] It was actually my writing partner, John Morris, because I had been about three years into it at that point.

[103] And the beginning of it was a nightmare, like, epic, bad decision.

[104] Why did we ever do this?

[105] Really?

[106] Yeah, it was really a nightmare for a short time.

[107] And then when it came online and we became a family, it really became the best thing that ever happened to me. And, you know, when John and I get together every day, we just talk about our lives a little bit.

[108] That's how we get started.

[109] So John had been hearing all these stories.

[110] And one day he just said, I don't know why we're not doing a movie about this because nobody really knows how this works when you go into foster care and adopt kids.

[111] So we started talking about it, and then there was the conversation of whether it could be a comedy or not, because that's what we do.

[112] We make comedies.

[113] And John, again, was like, most of the stuff you've told me is really funny.

[114] So not all of it, of course.

[115] But that's – and then we thought, wow, you know, we could approach this as a comedy, and we might be able to get, you know, a more general audience to get their interest in it that way because it'll feel less scary because that's the problem is that most movies that are made on this topic just frighten people.

[116] and they make people think that these kids are all damaged and breachable.

[117] You know?

[118] Do you worry that it would be like that movie 101 Dalmatians that a bunch of people start getting foster kids now and just screw them up?

[119] Yeah.

[120] Well, we were talking about Top Gun about how, you know, remember when Top Gun came out and everybody joined the Navy thinking they were going to fly the planes?

[121] Right, right.

[122] Well, when the color of money came out, pool halls boomed across the country.

[123] It made a giant impact on pool halls from that one Tom Cruise movie.

[124] And they just, really?

[125] A lot of people just got scammed out of their fucking pocket money, basically.

[126] I'm sure there was some of that going on.

[127] I think the crazy thing about this, too, was that, like, on the set, you realize, like, when we're doing this, you go, like, oh, yeah, I always thought of people who do that.

[128] Like, you know they exist, but you're like, those are nameless, faceless angels.

[129] Like, they're not real people.

[130] Right, right.

[131] If you're like, do any of your friends atop, I'd be like, no, I don't have friends like that?

[132] Like, those are other people, you know?

[133] And then you start, like, on the set, there was, you know, people visiting or consulting, and there would be like, oh, you know, they adopted or they run some foster care thing.

[134] And then you're like, oh, like, this is actually something that people really do.

[135] Well, even, like, dudes on the crew that somebody would come up, you know, who's in the electrical department be like, oh, hey, bro, I got, I adopted two kids, by the way.

[136] You feel like, really?

[137] Yeah.

[138] You know, or, hey, I got adopted when I was four years old.

[139] You just would, like, once is out there.

[140] Now you see it now everywhere.

[141] People are hitting me up.

[142] Someone hit me up yesterday.

[143] They're like, my sister is adopting four siblings this week.

[144] Wow.

[145] Yeah.

[146] It's nuts.

[147] I mean, like, it's like, I mean, I don't want to, it's, it's, it's almost like when your friend gets a car.

[148] And then you start seeing it everywhere.

[149] And you're like that.

[150] No, it is exactly like that, though.

[151] We talked about that video that went around online of this little girl that realized that she's opening up a box, and there's something in it that tells her that she's been adopted by these two people that are with her.

[152] And it's really, yeah.

[153] It's impossible to not cry.

[154] Yeah.

[155] I mean, if you have any heart at all, and you watch that little girl freak out.

[156] It breaks you up.

[157] I think that's almost the test, as far as what you were talking about, about how, because believe me, I was not.

[158] A test if you're a piece of shit or not when you watch that?

[159] Yeah.

[160] Yeah, we should show that to a lot of people.

[161] What's your reaction?

[162] Oh, you're a piece of shit.

[163] Yeah, you're a sociopath.

[164] Yeah.

[165] But no, I mean, there's that what you were just getting at as far as, believe me, I'm not that guy that, Like, I didn't feel special or, like, any one of those sort of Heart of Gold Angels.

[166] You know, we have the line that's in the movie where Mark just says that's for the kind of people that volunteer when it's not even a holiday, and we don't do that.

[167] Yeah, you should probably tell the audience that I'm not starring in this movie right now.

[168] Oh, you're starring in it?

[169] No, those people are like, so Tom stars, no, it's just Mark Wahlberg.

[170] You're starting in the movie for like four and a half minutes.

[171] There you go.

[172] And then everyone else is it.

[173] And then Mark Wahlberg stars and the rest of it.

[174] That's true.

[175] That's a good way of breaking it down.

[176] Well, the movie's only probably like 90 minutes.

[177] Yeah.

[178] So that's pretty good.

[179] That's not bad.

[180] We'll have probably like seven scenes.

[181] That's good scenes, though.

[182] Yeah, they're good scenes.

[183] No, you've got a solid presence.

[184] You didn't make the poster.

[185] Didn't make the poster.

[186] Didn't make the poster.

[187] You know, you made the standy, though.

[188] Did you know that?

[189] There's a standy in movie theaters, and you're in that.

[190] Oh, really?

[191] Yeah.

[192] All right.

[193] I'll take that.

[194] I never heard that word, standy.

[195] Standy, those are the big cardboard things.

[196] I never know what those things were called.

[197] I didn't know that either.

[198] Cardboard cutout thing.

[199] That's what I always call it cardboard cutout.

[200] Standy is the real The real term Is that the term in the industry?

[201] Oh yeah, that's an industry term That's a real industry term You learn something today Yeah Wait so you Because you were telling me this And I was like He was about to tell me Before you came And I was like This sounds like This could be pretty good Don't tell me Save it for the podcast That Because he's done This is the most press Sean's done For a film that he's put out That did you go under They were like Let's give you some advice On media Yeah well First of all I'm terrible at it So there's that Because I don't do this is the thing.

[202] When you direct a movie, especially movies like the kind of movies that I make, comedies and, you know, big, broad comedies, people don't really care who directed those movies.

[203] And I'm good with that.

[204] Like, I'm totally good with that.

[205] But what usually happens is the studio, the director usually wants to be kind of a part of the campaign.

[206] So the studio will find, they'll sort of throw bones at you of, like, press that you can do.

[207] And I always tell them, look, if I can be helpful in any way, let me know, I'll do whatever you need me to do.

[208] But don't throw them any bones, because I don't care.

[209] Right.

[210] I don't need to do this for it.

[211] So they do that to kind of just pump up the ego of the director that certain directors just really want to be the next Quentin Tarantown.

[212] Yeah.

[213] Yeah, I can't imagine there's some directors they really have to do it for.

[214] Well, I mean, I get it.

[215] They don't want you to feel left out or whatever.

[216] But on my first couple movies, I thought, oh, I have to do this stuff.

[217] And then I realized, I actually had this experience where I was in this red carpet thing.

[218] And they brought me up to this reporter and they said, this is Sean Anders.

[219] He directed the movie.

[220] And she had this big look on her face.

[221] And then she went like, oh, God.

[222] And she's, and I was like, no, no, no, it's cool.

[223] You don't have to.

[224] Wow.

[225] She was so disappointed.

[226] She was so disappointed.

[227] And that's when it sunk into me where I was just like, oh, they don't care.

[228] They don't give you.

[229] So that's, that's fine with me. I'm good there.

[230] Well, there's such fame horrors.

[231] They are.

[232] Those red carpet things, they're so weird.

[233] Yeah.

[234] Those things are so weird.

[235] And some people, that is the highlight of their life.

[236] Walk in that carpet.

[237] Yeah.

[238] Oh, I can't.

[239] Over here, Tom.

[240] Get your pose down right.

[241] it's a really weird thing also paparazzi at the airport you have that where I've seen them where I'm at baggage and they're looking around and then they're like hey Tom and they'll ask me like they're obviously not there for me but they're like they're like we got time till whatever Seth Rogen gets off the plane so let me ask you something and then they're like all right never mind here's everybody like just blow you off I had it happen only one time because this obviously doesn't happen to me. Yeah.

[242] I was flying in LAX and I was getting off a red eye and I was so just tired.

[243] I looked like shit and that and this guy, these two guys come up and they just were so nice.

[244] They were like, hey, you're Sean Anders, right?

[245] And I was like, yeah, yes I am Sean Anders.

[246] Nobody ever, you know.

[247] And so it takes me a second to realize and I thought it was so weird because it was right after, it was shortly after Daddy's home and that was like the biggest hit.

[248] Yeah.

[249] And they were asking me about horrible bosses too.

[250] And I was like, why are they asking me about, of all things?

[251] And I thought, oh, because Jennifer Aniston's in it.

[252] So they want me to say something about Jennifer Aniston and just see if they can catch me saying something crazy.

[253] Right, looking for a sound bite slip or something.

[254] That's all they try to do.

[255] Yeah, it was sad.

[256] It's weird.

[257] And my wife is like, what was that?

[258] I'm like, it took me like an hour to sort of unpack it.

[259] You were trying to make you clickbait.

[260] It's nuts.

[261] Well, what's interesting, too, is it's like sort of an impromptu interview that you have to do, right?

[262] Like if someone said, hey, this is this guy's name is Mike.

[263] He lives in Studio City.

[264] he wants you to go to his house and he's going to film you he's going to ask you wacky questions you're like no yeah but if Mike just shows up at the baggage claim and puts that camera in your face hey Sean uh Jennifer Aniston man what's up with the Botox and you're like what yeah fuck you know I mean that's how they get like you wouldn't do an interview with them under any other circumstances which is one of the weird things that happened during the Roseanne Barr thing is Roseanne Barr when her show was canceled and all the controversy was going on she was supposed to do the podcast, and it became a big news thing.

[265] Right.

[266] Because she put it on her Twitter that I'm going to do it, and we talked about it.

[267] And then they tried to show up at the podcast studio.

[268] So they had all these news people standing outside the podcast studio with their microphones.

[269] We're out in front of where Joe Rogan does his podcast.

[270] And they thought, for some reason, just because they're there, people have to talk to them.

[271] Right.

[272] I'm here.

[273] Talk to me. They're made out of milk.

[274] They're barely human.

[275] The way they talk is the most boring version of an interview you'd ever get ever.

[276] It's a tiny, quick little sound bite.

[277] But they feel like because they're there, like the camera's on.

[278] I've got the microphone.

[279] Come on it.

[280] Do it.

[281] If they said, hey, you know, KW, fuck yourself wants you to come in and sit down for an interview.

[282] You'd be like, no, I don't want to talk to them.

[283] I don't have anything to say.

[284] Like, I'll do all my talking on the podcast.

[285] Yeah.

[286] Well, but and also if you're, I mean, I'm in the business, but again, I'm not somebody that does a tremendous amount of press or at least not until a couple of weeks ago.

[287] And if you're not accustomed to that, it's terrifying.

[288] It's weird.

[289] Because somebody puts a camera in your face because immediately you're thinking like, well, if I just go, you know what, man, fuck you.

[290] Like, I don't have time for that.

[291] That'd be worse.

[292] Yeah, then you're going to, so you just think, like, I can't even walk away from this.

[293] So you just feel like you're all of a sudden somebody threw a cage over you.

[294] And they're not even asking you, can I do this?

[295] They're just, hey, Sean.

[296] yeah let me ask you a question Sean it's forced it's forced on you yeah it puts you in a weird spot it's like all of a sudden you're in you're on your on your heels yeah because your instinct is to be defensive if someone could so you're you know I mean your instinct is not going to be I'll give the most thoughtful answer to this because it's it's in the moment someone just dropped it on you so now you're like okay and your your emotions might be kind of all over the place and you're not you're not stopping to like like having a conversation you're just sort of trying to figure your way out of it.

[297] And how many people have ruined their careers or lives on those things?

[298] Just said, just fucked up and said one, they're just trying to be funny or just...

[299] That's the thing because they'll misquote you.

[300] And then they get you.

[301] And then they put it up and you're like, fuck, why didn't I think through that?

[302] I was just, I was coming home from the airport.

[303] I was tired.

[304] I was jet lagged.

[305] Bourdain got a shitload of death threats because he said, they asked him if you had to serve dinner to Kim Jong -un and Donald Trump, what would you serve?

[306] hemlock It's trying to be funny Yeah And then you all these Maga fucking morons Protesters were They were all sending these tweets Like POTUS You know he's threatening POTUS and all It was so strange Yeah Like where is the You know where's the Secret Service They should lock this motherfucker up And like you guys are crazy It's a joke And that's the thing right there Is that clickbait articles Are they all make it It'll say like So and so said this And they make it sound like somebody called a press conference to say something ridiculous and really it was like like you said it'll be some offhand remark and then people out there that are judging they they never have anybody walk up and put a camera in their face and they just think well i would never say anything like that's like you don't know what you would say you're never in that situation it's bizarre it's very bizarre yeah it's very bizarre so how many of these things did you have to do to promote this film because it because of this film is based in in a lot of a large part of it on your actual life experiences of adopting these kids how many of these things did you have to wind up doing a lot because i did we did our press junk at new york and i've done junkets and usually i do like you know six or seven or 15 or whatever i did in two days i did like 90 95 so do the same questions keep coming out you over and over again you start developing these canned responses well that's the thing you have to and this is a mistake and this gets back to what you were getting at before is that When I would do press on my movies in the past, I'd go to the junket and people would come in and they'd ask you more or less the same questions.

[307] And I always felt weird because I just felt like, no, I just want to have a conversation with you.

[308] I don't want to be like this disingenuous guy.

[309] And then I would be sort of changing up my answers and trying to kind of, and it just essentially just made it boring and I wasn't really making any kind of a point whatsoever.

[310] So on this one, they were like, look, you've got a message with this movie.

[311] You've got things you want to get out with this movie.

[312] You've got to learn how to do this.

[313] And so I went to like a day of media training and it was...

[314] Oh, no, you did.

[315] I did.

[316] I did.

[317] And it was, and the worst part was, I've done interviews and I've been fine before.

[318] But I got this guy sitting across from me who's interviewing me doing this mock interview.

[319] And then I've got the publicist and my writing partner and they're just staring at me. And now all of a sudden I can't do it at all.

[320] The pressure's there.

[321] Who's teaching you?

[322] Who's teaching this media training?

[323] Were they right away like, you kind of suck at this show?

[324] Yeah, they were.

[325] They absolutely were.

[326] I mean, they were really nice about it.

[327] They were like, okay, all right.

[328] Well, there's some room for proof in here.

[329] Oh, my God.

[330] Really?

[331] Oh, yeah.

[332] No, it was the worst.

[333] You seem like a natural.

[334] I mean, what is there to teach you?

[335] Well, no, well, this is the thing is I'm really comfortable with this.

[336] Yeah.

[337] With us just hanging out here talking.

[338] Sure.

[339] But this is what I do is I ammer.

[340] When I'm a nervous talker.

[341] So you ask me a question, if I'm nervous, I just kind of go and go and go and go.

[342] people are like, Jesus, you know?

[343] Man, that guy could talk, man. So the thing is, I got this guy sent across me. Really nice guy, and he's the guy who's coaching me. But I know I'm going to get in trouble.

[344] So does he give you, like, fake interviews?

[345] Was that how they coach you?

[346] First, he gave me a lot of really good insights.

[347] And the funny thing is, every rule that he's saying, as he's saying it, I'm going, oh, yeah, I do that.

[348] Oh, yeah.

[349] Like, everything he's saying that I shouldn't be doing, I'm like, oh, yeah, that's, I always, what is he saying you shouldn't be doing I mean that the main thing it's kind of like what we were getting at before that when somebody's setting a trap for you because so much of right now media training is just about don't go out and get yourself into trouble by going in and just talking about some ridiculous area because that's what people that's what everybody's trying to do now like just as a for example I did a Time Magazine interview about adoption about a year before we even made the movie really yeah and it was just because I was in the process of working on the movie and anyway so the whole thing was just about adoption in my family and whatever and it was right when the Harvey Weinstein stuff was blowing up so ladies really nice interview and then at the end she says hey you know since I'm talking to a Hollywood director I'd be remiss if I didn't ask did you know about that Harvey Weinstein stuff and I was like no I mean and I didn't even think about my answer because I don't you know I didn't know the guy was never around any of it that's sort of like more like fancy movies and I was like yeah no I don't I don't know, I never met the guy, whatever.

[350] I didn't think anything of it.

[351] I got off the phone, and then I thought, oh, she didn't say, what do you think about this stuff?

[352] She said, did you know about that stuff?

[353] And it was like, and, you know.

[354] Yeah, I knew, but I kept a secret.

[355] Fuck those people.

[356] And I just thought right away.

[357] Yeah.

[358] I just, you know.

[359] Wow.

[360] Yeah, it's sneaky.

[361] That's a sneaky way of asking.

[362] It's a sneaky way to get you, too.

[363] Yeah.

[364] Did you know?

[365] Yeah.

[366] Yeah.

[367] Yeah.

[368] Did you know?

[369] Well, if you get any complete.

[370] His Weinstein's secret for years.

[371] And I'm such a dumb shit.

[372] I would have, like you said before, I think, I think a year or two ago, I might have made a joke, you know, and been like, oh, yeah, I was there, you know, and I would have said something stupid, just kidding, yeah.

[373] Sean Ners was there.

[374] And then I'd be like, what?

[375] You know, so, you know, a lot of it is just to kind of teach you how to just sort of stay on point so that you don't get dragged down these weird roads into these things that just, that people are looking to get you in on clickbait.

[376] So did you bring up that instance when you went through the training?

[377] Oh, yeah.

[378] Did you say, what should I have said?

[379] I think I did.

[380] I think, and really what they teach you, it was funny, because believe it or not, he said, I'm going to show you some clips of, you know, sort of doing it right and doing it wrong.

[381] Oh, they have disaster clips.

[382] They do.

[383] And one of them, and the funny thing was.

[384] Do you have a file that you sent to Jamie before the show to play?

[385] Well, you guys will probably all know this one.

[386] They showed me a clip of Quentin Tarantino sort of like getting really angry with this reporter.

[387] order.

[388] Was that the violent thing?

[389] Yeah.

[390] I thought it was kind of great to kick some guy's ass.

[391] That lady was like, your films are disgusting and violent.

[392] And he was like, yeah, they're fucking movies, dummy.

[393] Like, he gets really upset about it.

[394] Where was this?

[395] Actually, I don't know if it's the same one because the one that I saw was a guy.

[396] Oh, I saw one with a lady.

[397] But that was via sat, like, so this is a different one then.

[398] There was one with a guy who's threatening to kick the guy's ass.

[399] The one that I saw didn't go that far.

[400] But I actually kind of liked what he did because he was like, I'm not playing that game with you I'm not doing it and he got all pushed off but I was sort of like I like that he does that I mean I like the one with the lady the lady is like your movies are so violent awful and he's like a movie a make believe thing it's not real violence like he really sasses her it's funny as shit and then I also where is she where was she it was like she was doing you know she was she was like good morning Pittsburgh like the entertainment reporter and then he was actually probably doing like satellite stuff everywhere and he was just like, you're dumb.

[401] But I also saw, there's that guy, he's a gotcha guy too, did Robert Downey Jr. It was like promoting a movie too.

[402] I don't know if they showed you that one.

[403] Oh, I saw that one.

[404] Right?

[405] And the guy's like, now, you're drug addiction.

[406] He was like, wait, what?

[407] Like, it was totally to try to get him to, you know, in a moment.

[408] And Robert Downey Jr. is not having it.

[409] He's like, yeah, I'm here to promote a movie.

[410] Yeah.

[411] This is nothing to do with that.

[412] Totally.

[413] Is that what he said?

[414] But let's get.

[415] into your drug addiction yeah he was like during your darkest times like what are you talking about man iron man's out i'm not i'm not here for that well it's just like he ends it too they're so selfish like that thing is so doing shit like that is so selfish it's such a sneaky little thing to do yeah they know what do they teach you though like in that moment of like quentin they're just like don't don't get emotional well it's like don't take the bait and and and more than anything for me because i look i'm from wisconsin and i still have that kind of everybody's nice everybody has good intentions kind of vibe you know so and and i had this experience on my very first movie where i i talked to this reporter because it was a movie about it was a road trip you know it's just a silly road trip comedy you know and i talked to this reporter and he says and he was just being he was being really cool we were just kind of hanging out after this thing talking and he's like so and gas prices were really high and he goes so you you know he's like you feel weird about making a uh road trip movie when gas prices are so high and i and i said like yeah i don't know i you know maybe if the movie tanks, I can just blame it on that.

[416] No one could afford to go to the theater because the prices were so high.

[417] And I don't think, and then this article comes out that just, the guy literally said I was swarthy looking and it just, he just painted me like an absolute piece of shit.

[418] Wow.

[419] And I was like, that guy was so cool.

[420] Like he was, like we were having a good time talking and then he just destroyed me. I've been there.

[421] Yeah, I'm sure you guys have.

[422] Yeah.

[423] It's all new to me. I remember one too that like who did it to me, like when I was just doing a phone interview for press before I was selling any tickets and the guy was like just like a really nice guy and totally twisted things and made it seem like just like he knows what I was saying and he purposely twisted things around and then it had real no no impact but I remember reading that and being like oh fuck this guy and and be careful when you talk to these people because he totally, he knows what I was trying to say, and I read this article, and it's like he misrepresented everything.

[424] Yeah.

[425] Well, that's the only way they can have fun.

[426] Yeah.

[427] And that's the only, I mean, if you're just a normal guy and you give, you know, normal answers and you're thoughtful and consider it, that's not as good for them.

[428] Right.

[429] It's boring to them.

[430] Yeah.

[431] So they'll twist it around.

[432] Well, it's not as profitable.

[433] Right.

[434] It's more profitable, especially if it's an online thing.

[435] With an online thing, you need a clickbait title.

[436] You need a bunch of people clicking on that thing because otherwise you're not going to get any end revenue for it.

[437] It's a very bizarre model where it's encouraging people to be deceptive and to make these things inflammatory.

[438] And I got to say, I mean, look, I did, like I said, I did 95 interviews in the course of two days.

[439] And virtually everybody was really cool, really asking really thoughtful, interesting questions.

[440] So I don't want to make it sound like I'm ripping on the whole press over this.

[441] But yeah, there are these people.

[442] And that's the thing is that if it was every single person that came along, it would almost be easier because you could just kind of be like, okay, here we go.

[443] Right.

[444] Right.

[445] But you get like 30 really good, you know, reporters with integrity and good people.

[446] And then somebody jumps in and you're like, oh, and then they catch you not looking because you're not looking for that guy.

[447] They also get super jaded.

[448] Yeah.

[449] You know, it's almost like cops that have arrested too many people.

[450] Everyone's a crook.

[451] Like, they just think that everybody they're interviewing is a piece of shit.

[452] And it's also like they're interviewing these Hollywood people they're thinking of you you got a big mansion driving a Mercedes you got all this money fuck this guy it's like this instant take on it oh hollywood director you're right great how's your casting couch you piece of shit yeah it's true it's true and it becomes the game i think too for them the game is like let's see if i can get one and we should be real clear this is not most people most people are nice yeah yeah yeah but it's just like one even if it's only one out of ten you run into that one you're like fuck these things i don't want to do these things anymore No, it's terrifying because you think about your family, your friends, like anybody who's going to, because now there is this, and I don't know you guys talk about this a lot, there is this culture out there where people are completely reduced to like one moment or one statement or whatever it is.

[453] And that's all you are, is that whatever that thing that happened in that one moment.

[454] And, you know, you see it happening to people all the time.

[455] And you think about, so when you're there and you feel like you're just a regular guy, you don't feel like, you know, that it's really scary because you think about your kids and you think of it, you know, so it's a scary situation.

[456] Yeah.

[457] Yeah, well, it's a weird time for these publications too.

[458] I mean, that's nothing to take into consideration.

[459] No one's really buying magazines and newspapers like they used to.

[460] It's hard to sell.

[461] And so they're reduced to these online publications and they have to compete with a bunch of these clickbaity bullshit things and that's where the money is.

[462] I mean, even in New York Times, man. The New York Times is resulting to a lot of clickbaity shit now, and you're like, wow.

[463] Well, do you guys have that feeling, like, when you're online that you're on like a click -baked diet where you see things where you're like, oh, man, I totally want to eat that right now.

[464] But, like, I'm not going to do that.

[465] I'm not going to sugar.

[466] Let me look at the ingredients.

[467] Yeah.

[468] You click on it.

[469] You're like, you learn to navigate it now, right?

[470] You read that title and you're like, I know this will have no substance.

[471] This is just the headline.

[472] I'm fascinated to see where this goes because.

[473] is this didn't exist, right?

[474] These online clickbaity things didn't exist 20 years ago.

[475] And now they're everywhere.

[476] Yeah.

[477] It's like what's going to happen in 10 years?

[478] Like, where is it going to be?

[479] Like, where is this going?

[480] Yeah.

[481] I'm very fascinated.

[482] You know, very fascinated to see.

[483] Because it feels like a transitional time.

[484] It doesn't feel like it can hold out like this forever.

[485] That's true.

[486] Yeah.

[487] Yeah, I agree.

[488] Because it hurts.

[489] I mean, and this is the reason why I think podcast culture is coming on strong because it's a place where people just talk and have a conversation.

[490] And I think that fear of slipping up and people always like out there trying to get you to slip up or whatever has people not having as much of a free exchange of ideas.

[491] Yeah, but through these podcasts, one thing that does happen is people will take a very small clip out of context and then write a whole article about that small clip with a big clickbaity headline like Tom Segura shits all over people in Somalia and then, you know, whatever it is.

[492] Did you do that?

[493] No. I mean, not yet.

[494] It was a different city.

[495] I just made something up.

[496] But then, you know, it could be completely out of context.

[497] And over, you know, a giant overall discussion of a topic that took place over 45 minutes.

[498] And they'll take 30 seconds of that and put a YouTube clip up.

[499] And then you get a bunch of angry people tweeting at you.

[500] That's true.

[501] That's true.

[502] But the flip side of it is that I feel like in this time, we're developing more of an audience that it is, it's quick to call that shit out.

[503] So, like, while there are going to be people that take debate and be like, what is it and get that angry, there's a bunch of people who are, like, really quick to recognize that that's taken out of context.

[504] Well, it's because people like you and I and a lot of other people that do podcasts talk about that all the time.

[505] Right.

[506] So people hear it all the time, and they see the examples of it, and they go, wow, that's crazy.

[507] Like, some of it is so egregious.

[508] You're like, you're a piece of shit.

[509] Like, someone should pull your license.

[510] Yeah.

[511] Like, if you were a doctor, they'd pull your fucking license.

[512] Right.

[513] As a journalist, there's like a lot of wiggle room with being a piece of shit.

[514] Yeah, there is.

[515] Yeah.

[516] I use the word journalists, air quotes.

[517] These, the podcast, this medium is just going to grow.

[518] And people are embracing more this long -form conversation, you know, and understanding things by talking about it for a while.

[519] Well, and the other part of it that I think, Pete, that gets lost sometimes is that, you know, like right now, we're talking about, like, journalists.

[520] But the great journalists are just as hurt by.

[521] this stuff as everyone because the people that are really out there being thoughtful, really researching their material, really talking to people, getting to the bottom of things, that whole journalistic work ethic that we all grew up hearing about, those people are just as threatened by this cheap, sort of attack journalism that happens because they can't even compete with it with a really thoughtful, well -researched story.

[522] And then somebody's like, he touched a boob, and then they get all the clicks, you know.

[523] I was talking to Matt Taim.

[524] who's a real journalist and Matt Taibi was discussing the pieces that he wrote on Wall Street and the crash of 2008 and all of the fucking shenanigans that went on with that and how how much just crazy shit they're allowed to do and what they can't what a Ponzi scheme a lot of that 2008 crash was and you when I was talking to him I realized like he had put a year into research, learning.

[525] Like, he did not come from a background in finance.

[526] So he put a year into researching all the aspects of the savings and loan crisis, all the aspects of this mortgage crisis and how it took place and how they were making money off of this and how they were, you know, betting on things falling apart and moving money around and how fucking chaotic it is and how crazy it is.

[527] And then you think of how much time put on that.

[528] And then in proportion how few people actually read that and how little it affected the actual economy itself.

[529] Like how little things changed and how little people were outraged.

[530] Like his article, I don't know if you ever read the Rolling Stone piece on it, fucking amazing.

[531] But you don't...

[532] He worked on that for...

[533] Forever!

[534] Yeah.

[535] Yeah.

[536] But you don't hear that much about it.

[537] Right.

[538] You know what I mean?

[539] It's like those people never went to jail.

[540] Billions of dollars just disappeared.

[541] it all got moved around and everybody abercadabra and they moved the cape ha ha ta -da and then it moves on and you know and he details it in this amazing way and you realize like wow how many of those guys are left how many of those real journalists are are left right and this is a i mean it you have to invest in something like that i mean he's putting a year into just researching what this is all about yeah it's fucking insane I mean, and then instead, you know, it's like Kim Kardashian got her butt done again, boom, 50 times more people are paying attention to that.

[542] Well, let me ask you this, because I think in a weird way, this weird time that we're in right now could actually be the rebirth of that kind of journalism that you're talking about.

[543] Because I know that when everything was getting kind of crazy and people were, you know, we were talking about all this, I did subscribe to some, you know, like that.

[544] online version of some papers because I thought I do want to support people that are actually you know people with integrity that are out there chasing stories yeah I do that informing the world you know and helping us out you know also they fuck you over if you don't do it you can't can't read like 10 New York Times articles and they cut you off like oh you bitch no you have to subscribe yeah good for you though you know I mean you kind of have to I wish it was a little easier to do though and set it up with Apple One click or some shit yeah I think it is now yeah it's kind of a pain I don't get that why I I subscribe to a few of them and if I go to the app obviously everything's fine but if I try to read it through another link it's like oh you already I'm like yeah but I'm a subscribe yeah it's kind of annoying yeah yeah because then you got to jump into the app and then find the story again and it's annoying but I get it I mean they have to figure out some way to generate a revenue and this whole these last two years have been huge for the subscriptions on those.

[545] I mean, like grown by millions, you know, as as print paper has gone down, those online subscriptions have gone way, way up.

[546] Really?

[547] Oh, yeah.

[548] Oh, yeah.

[549] So they're profitable.

[550] Definitely.

[551] Definitely.

[552] I mean, I just saw that whoever the editor and chief of New York Times doing an interview about like their recent subscription model, it was impressive.

[553] I mean, it really went high.

[554] Well, if you do good work and I mean, there's people out there that have a hunger for actual real journalism.

[555] Yeah.

[556] And also in -depth, intelligent, comprehensive understandings of what is happening.

[557] Yeah.

[558] A real, real, a well -research take on a particular situation.

[559] Well, somebody does it like that guy did about, like, the subprime morgue, like, you know, and they've spent all that time and they write that story.

[560] I mean, it's like reading like a good book.

[561] Yeah.

[562] I just can't stop reading.

[563] I mean, did you read that?

[564] that Dirty John story in the LA Times?

[565] What is that?

[566] Man, and now they're making a, they have like a mini series coming out about it.

[567] I remember reading it and not being able to stop reading it.

[568] And it was like an eight -part series in the LA Times about this guy who was a sociopath who would go on to dating sites and basically bait women who were like divorcees, who had some money.

[569] He was posturing as a doctor.

[570] and, like, would pretend to have this really successful life and just be a pariah that would, like, suck on to these people.

[571] And this story went really deep about how this guy found this woman.

[572] Her daughters were, like, grown daughters immediately suspected things were wrong.

[573] She didn't see it.

[574] But the story unravels the way, like, a good book or, like, a thriller would, you know, would unravel in the theater.

[575] So you're just, like, like, the guy, you know, he researched it.

[576] I forget his name.

[577] turned it into a podcast, and then now it's coming out as a, like, a short series.

[578] That's the guy?

[579] That's the guy.

[580] That's the real guy.

[581] It's Christopher Gofford.

[582] And, man, so it would be, like, part one in this series.

[583] You'd read this, and you're like, all right, right, where's part?

[584] Like, you're, like, scrambling to read the next part.

[585] That's freaking me out because he's moving, like, his image is moving slowly.

[586] Oh, yeah.

[587] Slowly pulling away.

[588] That's the real guy.

[589] It's a fascinating read.

[590] Wow.

[591] And I recommend reading it, man. I mean, it is really good.

[592] So was this guy.

[593] a career criminal criminal he was a career criminal that hit it well but um you know it's interesting i remember reading it and and you're kind of fascinated how the daughters know like they just know they're they keep going back to like this doesn't add up right but she's kind of lost in the love and attention and excitement right of this relationship and he's just praying on he he is praying on her and he empties her account spoiled i don't want to give it away man it's so good it's so good yeah is Is it, it's, you can get it right now?

[594] You just, do you have a subscription or did you?

[595] It's like it's a podcast, there's a bunch of articles about how big it got released and podcasts and L .A. Times.

[596] There's all sorts of stories about it.

[597] Yeah.

[598] Well, there's still, I mean, for all the people that are into just short attention span, clickbait nonsense, there's still.

[599] And there's some sort of a market for, for real, for actually real, real stories.

[600] Yeah.

[601] And that's what, I would say that that's what most of it is out there.

[602] It's just that we get the so much of, I mean, there's such a stockpile of that stuff every day.

[603] But when it comes to the actual stories that you're reading, I don't know.

[604] Maybe I'm Pollyanna about it.

[605] But I feel like there's a lot of great stuff out there.

[606] I think there's plenty of great stuff.

[607] Can you think about the actual amount of content versus how much time you actually have to read?

[608] There is great stuff.

[609] But if you looked at the overwhelming appetite that people have for media, it's for nonsense.

[610] Yeah.

[611] Like I was watching the Wendy Williams show.

[612] I've never watched that show before Jesus Christ I've watched that show First of all there was a girl in the audience That had a crown on It was hilarious The audience alone Like they should have one Was she marrying herself?

[613] She wasn't Tom and I were at a restaurant last night And the lady had just gotten married to herself It was and we were both We were keeping it together What's going on over there And then someone was like She's marrying herself This is her ceremony Right Jesus Christ You never see guys doing that I'll tell you this much.

[614] Yeah.

[615] And my oldest daughter went over and hugged her and grabbed.

[616] My oldest daughter was the sweetest person in the world.

[617] Yeah, yeah.

[618] She was like, she's so sweet that the lady who married herself was like, your daughter's very sweet.

[619] She wanted to marry her.

[620] She's like, listen, I'm married to myself, but I'll marry you too.

[621] Let's marry everybody.

[622] Yeah.

[623] But what were we just talking about?

[624] What?

[625] Oh, you said Wendy Williams.

[626] Oh, Wendy Williams Show.

[627] Oh, my goodness.

[628] Oh, is that when she fell down?

[629] Yeah.

[630] Yeah.

[631] She had a moment in the show where she fainted and fell down.

[632] Have you seen, I saw when Aretha died, that Aretha had done an interview with Wendy Williams one time, and it was fucking hilarious.

[633] Why was it hilarious?

[634] Because Aretha Franklin was sass in her a bunch.

[635] Oh, really?

[636] Like an OG sassing.

[637] It was really, really funny, man. I don't know if you've seen it, but she's just like, like, Wendy's like, I have an idea for this project, whatever.

[638] And Aretha was like, mm -hmm.

[639] And she was like, so you want to go in on it?

[640] And Aretha's like, you're going to write a job.

[641] check and she's like I was thinking you coached she's like oh you ain't got it huh you ain't got the money that's what I thought she just turns around on her it's so funny it's hilarious Ritha Franklin just so just owns it you know she's been around she was like not having it at all well all the show is is Wendy Williams talking shit about people and all the girls in the audience going they're talking about people getting custody and oh she's breaking up with her and it's like wow that's what There's a lot of people out there that have an appetite for this stuff.

[642] For that, for sure.

[643] Including me, obviously, I fucking sat there.

[644] I'm pet Marshall watching it, like, oh, what's going to happen with the kids?

[645] Look how long Jerry Springer stayed on the other, right?

[646] Yeah.

[647] That was a fucking 30 -plus year run or something?

[648] You know what's fucked up about that?

[649] Jerry Springer's a smart guy.

[650] Yeah.

[651] He's a smart guy.

[652] I used to listen to him on the Opie and Anthony show.

[653] I was like, whoa, wait a minute.

[654] He was the mayor of Cincinnati.

[655] Mayor Cincinnati got busted paying for a prostitute with a check.

[656] So we all slip up from time.

[657] Time to time.

[658] That's how he got caught.

[659] It was just hilarious.

[660] Like checking his accounting.

[661] Can I write you a check?

[662] Lexus.

[663] Who's Lexus?

[664] Yeah.

[665] That's pretty crazy, man. It's, I don't know.

[666] I think there's plenty.

[667] What is that?

[668] Is that him?

[669] Wow.

[670] Wow.

[671] That's when he was the mayor?

[672] A young fellow.

[673] I never sound like.

[674] He's like 40 years old back then.

[675] But it's just, it's bizarre how prevalent that that stuff is online.

[676] I mean, it's just there's so much.

[677] There's so much click -baity nonsense.

[678] It's hard.

[679] But there's plenty of good journalism.

[680] There's plenty of good writing.

[681] Yeah.

[682] Well, I mean, again, like I said, when I was doing the, my limited experience in doing this, the vast, vast majority of the people that I've been talking to have been really interested in just talking about adoption and really interested in foster care and all that kind of stuff.

[683] And it's been great.

[684] It's been great talking to everybody.

[685] And I think that when you have a topic like that, too, it helps.

[686] Because they're not really trying to crush you as much when you're, you know, when you're talking to them about kids who need families and homes and that kind of thing.

[687] Right, right, right.

[688] Yeah, yeah, they have to be careful with letting their piece of shit claws out.

[689] Now, you said that your experience with adopting three kids started out as a nightmare.

[690] Yeah.

[691] Like, how did it start out as a nightmare?

[692] Well, it goes into it.

[693] You know, you have friends that join the military and when they're in high school, they think they're really tough.

[694] And they're like, yeah, yeah, it's going to be awesome.

[695] awesome and then they go to boot camp and they're like oh shit this is really hard and then they get on top of it and then they're good again you know but they have to go through that transition of like oh man maybe I'm not as tough as I thought I was and then they get tough so you never had any kids I never had any kids had dog you've done a dog thing did the dog thing so you know to take care of in a very small way I had a friend who said that to me so well I've had a dog oh yeah talking about having a kid I've heard that a lot I'll fucking kill you with a rock you better not compare the two that's so stupid yeah and we know we we we went from you know zero kids and you kind of think well I babysat my sister's kids and that kind of thing and that yeah that's that's the a movie it went to a whole movie yeah and even what happens is you go so so for us we we had a really interesting experience where we went to an adoption fair and that's that's in the movie it's a real thing where they because they you know their their budgets are stretched so tight that They'll have these outdoor events, not every county has them, but L .A. County has them, where they'll bring a bunch of kids that are in the system and a bunch of prospective parents, and they'll just have, like, games and stuff going on.

[696] It's a really bizarre event.

[697] And we went, you know, and you're there to meet kids, you know, to meet your kids.

[698] And so we went there and we didn't want to have anything to do with teenagers because, you know, just because we were scared.

[699] We thought we're not ready for that.

[700] We just want to find, like, some little cute little kids.

[701] And then the teenagers are all off to the side because everybody's afraid of them.

[702] And it's the most heartbreaking thing you've ever seen because they know why they're there.

[703] Like they chose to be there and they know that everybody's scared of them.

[704] So I was there and I was like, oh my God, this is the worst thing I've ever seen.

[705] And we ended up sort of inadvertently meeting this teenage girl and her brother and sister.

[706] And just they just seemed cool and they just seemed like really good kids and just scared, scared, scared.

[707] but we wrote them down on our sheet and just, again, not what we had planned on when we did this, but we wrote them down on our sheet and we went home knowing they were going to match us with them because no one else was going to put them down.

[708] And we get home and we find out, yes, you've been matched with these kids.

[709] And we're like, okay, here we go.

[710] We're going to have, you know, we're going to have a teenager.

[711] They were 16, 13, and 11.

[712] Boom.

[713] Yeah.

[714] Whoa.

[715] So we're, you know, kind of wrapping our heads around this over the next couple of weeks.

[716] And we got to a place where we were like.

[717] okay you know we can do this and then we got a call from the social worker and she said you know it's not going to work out with them the uh they've been in the system for four years the girl she's really holding out hope that her mom is coming for her so she's refusing the placement and so we tried to and and i was like i was you know when you hear that it's so just the same reaction you guys just had.

[718] So my wife and I wrote a letter to send through the social workers just saying, hey, look, we get it.

[719] If you maybe you guys just want to come and just do the foster thing or, you know, however you want to do it.

[720] And we just sort of sent the letter off.

[721] We didn't hear anything.

[722] And then she came back and she just said, yeah, it's not going to happen.

[723] And then she very matter of factly just said, but there's these other three kids.

[724] And those kids are my kids now, who I love more than anything in the world.

[725] And that's how to, and that conversation was just Like, there's these other three kids.

[726] And you're like, oh, all right.

[727] And you want there to be, or I shouldn't say, I mean, I wanted there to be a certain amount of randomness, like when you have, you know, biological kids, you don't know what you're going to get.

[728] Yeah.

[729] And go into that event where you're sort of like meeting kids and it feels weird.

[730] And so when she said there's these other three kids, we said, okay.

[731] And then they turned out to be younger, you know, six, three and 18 months.

[732] But I never forgot meeting that, that girl and her brother and sisters.

[733] So when the time came that we were going to make a movie about it, I really, that was the genesis of the Lizzie character.

[734] I wanted to make sure there was a teenager in this movie because they're so misunderstood.

[735] And in the process, I went out and met with a bunch of families that had adopted teen girls and then met with a lot of those girls, some of whom are grown up and some of whom are still, you know, with their families.

[736] And this is the thing.

[737] You know, the scariness that we're all talking about.

[738] Every one of these families that I met with, just great stories, like amazing great stories, like hard times, you know, trying to make that connection and whatever, but everybody with the same story wouldn't have it any other way, changed our life for the better, met these incredible kids, and this is, yeah, and now I'm yammering, but I don't know.

[739] No, no, you're not yet yammering at all.

[740] How old are they now?

[741] How many years have you had them?

[742] Um, almost seven years.

[743] So my son, Johnny just turned 13.

[744] Wow.

[745] My daughter's nine and my, my other son is eight.

[746] And, um, how long was it between the phone call of like, I had these other three kids and you actually getting them in your house?

[747] Um, God, what was it?

[748] It was, it was, it was a couple of weeks because there was.

[749] A couple of weeks.

[750] That's it?

[751] Yeah, no, it wasn't long at all.

[752] Whoa.

[753] But, uh, yeah, because, because they called and they said, we have these other three kids.

[754] And then, and then there was going to be a meeting because they, they, they, they, they, they won't tell you much about the kids until, until they really sit down with you.

[755] And then they kind of walk through, like, here's, you know, whatever trauma.

[756] Here's whatever, you know, kind of.

[757] So, and again, they don't, in our case, they don't have all the information, obviously, on their past.

[758] So they can kind of tell you, like, here's how they came into the system and that kind of thing.

[759] So I wasn't able to go because I was, I was at a work thing.

[760] And so my wife went to the meeting, and I was, like, listening to it, you know, and I was on speakerphone in the meeting.

[761] And there was this one moment, you know, and she's telling us everything.

[762] And there's this one moment where she slides the picture across to my wife.

[763] And says, here's a picture of them.

[764] And there's this long pause.

[765] And my wife goes, oh, they're cute.

[766] They didn't sound cute by the inflection in their voice.

[767] And, you know, you're trying not to be that guy, you know, that you're like, wait, what do they look like?

[768] But, you know, you don't want to be shallow about it.

[769] I mean, kids are kids.

[770] And you know you're going to fall in love with them regardless.

[771] But, you know, like, you kind of, everybody.

[772] wants to think their own kids are cute whatever so it was funny and then when I saw the picture the picture was it was just a weird bad picture of the kids like my son who was six at the time looked like he was 11 and he looked like this it was just the look on his face and whatever hard yeah he looks hard and a little and and we go over to the house and these kids are adorable so oh so this is sorry I'm getting ahead of myself so so when you so we have the meeting and we go okay we're going to go meet with them and just to be clear we didn't say okay because the picture, because the picture was kind of like neither here nor there, you know?

[773] We were just like, all right, let's go meet these kids.

[774] So we go to the house, and these kids are adorable.

[775] And it's the weirdest thing ever because you go to this foster home where they live and you play with them for like two hours.

[776] And when do you ever play with any kids for two straight hours?

[777] Like actually actively play with kids, especially kids you've never met before.

[778] Sure.

[779] So it's exhausting.

[780] It's weird.

[781] And we touch on this in the movie that I was really scared when we were getting there because I wanted so much to walk in, see these kids well up with tears, know it's for real, know these are my kids, and just have that, like, cosmic connection moment.

[782] And that didn't happen at all.

[783] It's more weird, right?

[784] It's so weird.

[785] Who are you?

[786] I'm going to live with you?

[787] Yeah.

[788] And the little kids are just kind of like, this is, you know, it's actually weird in the other direction.

[789] They're so used to kind of being passed around.

[790] that they're just kind of like, oh, okay, who are these people there?

[791] Oh, right.

[792] And so we get in there.

[793] And then the foster mom in our case was like, go to your mom and dad.

[794] And I was like, oh, don't do that.

[795] Don't do that.

[796] Don't see it.

[797] Slow your role, waiting.

[798] Because it just felt so obtrusive to the kids, you know.

[799] Yeah.

[800] And so we would go there every day for five straight days.

[801] We would go there when the kids were off school and we'd go and play with them first in the backyard.

[802] And then you take them to the park and then you take them to the park.

[803] And then you take them to the park.

[804] and you take them out for ice cream, and you're just kind of like getting to know these kids that are strangers.

[805] Did you try to change their names?

[806] Yeah, first day.

[807] As soon as we walked in, I was like, you're right now.

[808] No, we didn't do that.

[809] The little one wouldn't even know, though, dude.

[810] Yeah, that's true.

[811] That is true.

[812] No memory.

[813] You know what?

[814] A lot of people do.

[815] In fact, a lot of kids, a lot of older kids that sort of have that will want to change their name, not just their last name.

[816] For a new fresh start?

[817] Yeah, that they'll just want.

[818] want to, you know, and I thought, yeah, yeah, I don't have any experience with that, but I've heard that sometimes kids will choose to, there was a young lady that was at the screening last night who was, who her picture is at the end of the movie, and she's like, she's in Ireland getting her Ph .D. right now, this girl that these people adopted out of foster care.

[819] She's, she's amazing.

[820] Yeah.

[821] And, and she, she had chosen to change her name.

[822] Yeah, I mean, that seems like it would mean something.

[823] Yeah, now that I think about it, it just seems, you know, changing a name especially as a teen but I mean I get it if you're saying like I want to put everything in the past yeah you want a fresh start you really lock it down this is the new me right I'm Kobe Bryant I used to be number eight I'm 24 now well and that touches on something that is really difficult when you're doing this as an adoptive parent is that you're trying to walk this line all the time where you you know you you need to claim these kids for your own You need to be the person who's like, you're with us.

[824] Like, we're with you.

[825] We got your back.

[826] We're behind you.

[827] Like, you need to do that.

[828] That's what these kids don't have.

[829] This thing that we all take for granted.

[830] Right.

[831] We have these parents that love us, no matter what knucklehead things we do.

[832] So you're trying to do that.

[833] But at the same time, you're trying not to impose your world on them because they're coming into it with their own, you know, personality and their own, you know, culture or whatever it is that behind them.

[834] So you're always trying to kind of be careful and walk this line between just, just completely bring them in, but not trying to change them into who you are.

[835] Did the six -year -old already have things he was really into or sports or activities?

[836] Yeah.

[837] He was, well, the funny thing is my son is really athletic, and I'm really not.

[838] So I know you guys are, but I'm so not.

[839] Me especially.

[840] He's an acrobat.

[841] You saw what I was doing yesterday.

[842] He's an animal.

[843] Because of an animal.

[844] But no, he's really athletic, and he's just always been, you know, good with.

[845] with all of that stuff.

[846] And it's funny for me because I wasn't that kid at all.

[847] But it's great for me because I'm like, he's able to do the stuff that I wanted to do so badly when I was little.

[848] I sucked at sports and I so wanted to be good at sports.

[849] Yeah.

[850] And he's really good at it.

[851] And it makes me...

[852] What does he play?

[853] Well, I mean, whatever he plays, he just tends to be pretty good at it.

[854] So he played flag football for a while.

[855] He's playing lacrosse now and he's playing soccer.

[856] Dude, keep him away from lacrosse and football.

[857] We were just playing it with Brennan Schaub the other day.

[858] I had no idea how many people get knocked the fuck out playing lacrosse.

[859] Really?

[860] Oh, my God.

[861] Violent, man. Violent.

[862] We were saying, like, there's a difference between this even in football in that they're striking each other.

[863] You're allowed to.

[864] They're allowed to hit each other with a stick, but they're also striking each other with elbows.

[865] They're running in, and they have the stick in their hand, and they're elbowing each other in their face as they're running.

[866] I mean, whoa, shit.

[867] It's a crazy amount of force that they generate.

[868] Oh, yeah.

[869] And these kids are getting flatlined.

[870] And I'm like, that's, because I had Dale Earnhardt, Jr. here the other day on.

[871] Really nice guy.

[872] guy, great guy, suffered 12 concussions over a period of four years.

[873] Racing?

[874] And has like some significant brain damage because of it that he had to go through.

[875] Therapy for, to help him, like to the point where he was walking and he had to hold on to things because his balance is so fucked up.

[876] He couldn't just walk.

[877] Couldn't get off the couch and walk to the bathroom.

[878] He had to hold on to like a table and a chair and hit him make his way through.

[879] All of this from concussions.

[880] and you know what they're getting in lacrosse and they're getting in football it's all the same shit it's all head trauma yeah so I'm a terrible parent no my kids go to a very nice school it's a great school and we went to a football game the other day where the older kids are playing football and I'm just sitting there all the other parents are having a good time and I'm like brain damage brain damage there's some brain damage there's some brain I'm like Jesus fucking Christ these are kids they're kids running at each other full clip smash anyone with Jordan and fall into the ground They see the kid get up slow and he'll put his hands on the ground.

[881] He's all fucked up.

[882] I'm like, this is crazy.

[883] Like, you guys are teaching people.

[884] I always felt like lacrosse because my high school had lacrosse, too.

[885] And I always felt like it was way crazier once because I didn't know about it.

[886] And then I'm at this school when they have it.

[887] I'm like, this shit is nuts.

[888] And there's no career in it.

[889] Yeah.

[890] And they're just, oh, yeah, of course.

[891] Please if you're a football player, you can become some Herschel Walker type character and become a huge baller.

[892] Yeah, that's true.

[893] But you have no shot if you're a lacrosse player.

[894] I love when they interview, like, all the guys in the NFL, they're like, the young guys, they're like, you know, all this evidence is that your lifespan is going to be way shorter and it's going to be probably horrific at some point because of the impact of what you're going through playing football.

[895] You know, what do you think about that?

[896] They're like, shit's worth it, man, this is an awesome lifestyle.

[897] Nobody is like, yeah.

[898] I mean, you're getting some guys that you see retire early, which was unheard of 10 years ago.

[899] guys one guy came out played his rookie year and retired you know you're getting guys early retirement um some guys play finish out a contract they're up for a big contract and they're out yeah that's happening but there's still you know there's no shortage of guys who are like i'll take the guarantee whatever my signing bonuses and take some brain damage with it i mean look that's how our brains work our brains are designed to not have that kind of foresight until you get much older of course you're like satisfy me now yeah that you and i don't know what that is, but you can tell people, hey, whatever it is you're doing right now, this is really going to cause you irreparable harm.

[900] When?

[901] Like, today?

[902] No, well, fuck it.

[903] Well, that's the same way we deal with climate change.

[904] It's literally the same thing.

[905] People are driving around with cars blowing smoke out.

[906] Like, yeah, one day, it'll ever fucking fix it.

[907] It's going to be a real problem.

[908] Like, you tell someone's going to be a real problem here on Earth in like 300 years.

[909] And they're like, that sucks.

[910] Whatever.

[911] Yeah.

[912] Whatever.

[913] I won't be here, bro.

[914] Or even 40 years.

[915] Sadly, people will be like, all right.

[916] There's also the issue with people that get a lot of head trauma.

[917] They get very impulsive, and they don't make good decisions anyway.

[918] So even if they could have the foresight, they probably wouldn't make good decisions.

[919] They're not thinking rationally.

[920] And they did some study.

[921] What was that study, Jamie?

[922] We've referenced this before where they looked at kids that play football literally from Pop Warner all the way through college, and how many of them have CTE?

[923] Really?

[924] Oh, Jesus Christ.

[925] It's stunning.

[926] See, I always felt like my point of view on it was always like, I played football fourth grade through high school, right?

[927] And I always just like, man. That's why you're so fucked up.

[928] I know, I know.

[929] But I just feel like, you know, the, like, you have definitely some big, in an amateur career, you have some, you can think back like, man, I got my bell rung there.

[930] How many times do you get your bell rung?

[931] I don't know.

[932] I mean, probably, I mean, here's the thing.

[933] In fourth grade and fifth grade, you're like, that doesn't.

[934] happen really I mean kids are like you know walking up and like wrapping up slowly you're playing with kids who will eventually not play football even in sixth grade right you know so it starts to be you might have like a stud on a team in middle school and still a bunch of guys that won't play in high school yeah and then in high school yeah there's definitely some uh athletes that stand out for sure I mean those are the kids that will eventually go on but you play teams and there's weeks where you're just like, no one is really good on this team, you know, and you'll have a game where you'll feel like, yeah, I mean, there's a couple, I got a couple good hits in.

[935] There was nothing really of impact.

[936] And then something will stand out.

[937] Like, you'll play a school that has like an All -State or All -American player.

[938] You're like, holy shit, that guy fucking fucked me up bad.

[939] And you remember it.

[940] I mean, I remember it to this day.

[941] Some of those, like, really stand -out guys.

[942] And you're like, that hit stuck with.

[943] me, but that's once a year that you play that guy, right, or that you remember a school that good.

[944] And then if you don't go on to play in college, really feels like kind of a, I don't know, a risk assessment where you're like, I didn't feel like that was, you know, do I have damage?

[945] I don't know.

[946] But I mean, once you get into college football is where I feel like that's where you're really playing with really good athletes.

[947] A friend of mine, a guy in his neighborhood, a kid who was 21 committed suicide, and he was a college player who was about to go into the pros.

[948] He was 21 years old.

[949] Really?

[950] Yeah.

[951] And the significant CTE, like, just really ravaged.

[952] Every year, a player played tackle football under the age predicted the early onset of cognitive problems by 2 .4 years and behavioral and mood problems by 2 .5 years.

[953] Yeah, but there's a study, this is, okay, average study found that 211 players who were diagnosed with CTE after death, who played tackle football before age 12, suffered from cognitive behavioral and mood symptoms earlier than those players who didn't start to play till after age 12.

[954] Wow.

[955] They're saying that, okay, study included 246 former players, 211 of whom were diagnosed with CTE after death.

[956] That's insane.

[957] Well, in college, there's definitely, there's no such thing as getting around real high impact hits that's it those are all people that know how to play they're all athletes you're gonna get rocked what they're realizing now is that sub -concussive trauma is what's responsible for the majority of brain damage what's sub -concussive you're not getting a concussion oh yeah you just getting rattled yeah so getting rattled where it's not even fucking you up but over time over time you have multiple hits that are just not they're not knocking you out that just jostling you.

[958] Those happen a lot.

[959] Yeah.

[960] You even get it from getting hit to the body.

[961] Right.

[962] You get hit to the body and your head snaps back and you don't even get hit in the head and you're like throwing up and your head's all fucked up and you're trying to figure out what's going on.

[963] It's because your brain's been moshing around inside your head.

[964] Yeah.

[965] The thing that I remember too is the thing that stands out is when you, because there's such thing is like bracing for a hit and then feeling it and you're like, fuck.

[966] But when you don't see someone coming.

[967] Oh, yeah, man. It's like a fight where you don't see a punch coming.

[968] You're like, oh, yeah, 100 % Yeah, yeah, it's, it's dangerous.

[969] You guys are saving my child's life right now.

[970] I'm telling you right now.

[971] It's funny, because I don't know that much about lacrosse.

[972] I had to actually, like, YouTube lacrosse to be like, how do you play this?

[973] Some of the year.

[974] Pull up the video, because there's some videos of some fucking hits that we were watching the other day, and Brendan played lacrosse in college.

[975] He played lacrosse in college?

[976] And then he fought in the UFC.

[977] Yeah.

[978] So his brain looks like a walnut.

[979] It's got to be, man. And you talk to him, you kind of know.

[980] yeah it's uh it's a crazy fucking sport oh boom watch these guys just over and over again these guys getting caoed boom boom see that i mean they're smashing each other the impact is horrific oh look at that boom this these are strikes yeah this is like me kicking somebody in the head this is this is not much different than a kick in the head you just hitting them with the elbow, but the amount of force.

[981] So these guys are getting kicked in the head with these helmets on.

[982] Yeah.

[983] And if you think the helmet's protecting your head, that shit ain't protecting anything.

[984] Boom!

[985] Look at that.

[986] Boom!

[987] All right, look, I don't know anything about this stuff, but I've thought for a long time, hard helmets got to just make it worse, right?

[988] Well, it makes you more confident that you can slam your head into somebody, and then you don't realize how bad you're getting fucked up from that.

[989] You know, it's your head.

[990] But when you get hit in the head, even though you have a helmet on it, it's not going to crack your skull, your brain still substantially.

[991] It's hitting the size of your skull, you know?

[992] You get serious punishment, smashing around in there.

[993] All the connective tissue, it's like, it's awful.

[994] It's awful.

[995] Boom.

[996] And this is coming from a guy who's probably seen, I've probably seen more people get fucked up than 99 .9 % of the people that have ever lived.

[997] right in terms of like being there live when someone got the fuck beaten out of them yeah i've probably seen more people get the fuck beaten out of them it's true than almost anyone that's ever lived in history yeah there's probably a small handful of people that have seen more sure see how many fights have you called hundreds thousands thousands at least more than a thousand probably 2000 but then i've seen more i mean i've seen a bunch live and when i was competing i saw a bunch of people get fucked up i mean it's just i've seen it a lot it's that when you can avoid that avoid it you know especially something like lacrosse you can't can't make a career out of it like get out of there because it actually just started because right now i'm used to like kids soccer where they're just running around it's cute chasing the ball it's cute it's fun it's really fun to watch and uh and yeah my son just got into lacrosse and we play catch with the lacrosse and it's great we have a good time playing catch with it but no i haven't seen him get about tennis man Soccer.

[998] Even soccer, which you think, you know, who's getting hurt in soccer?

[999] Soccer from heading the ball.

[1000] Just heading the ball.

[1001] The ball flying out, you hit it with your head.

[1002] Soccer players are suffering from CTE to the point where they're starting to minimize the amount of heading they do in practices.

[1003] really yes this is what we're finding out about brains like this is you know there's a good friend of my doctor mark gordon who specializes in cTE he deals with a lot of soldiers coming back and a lot of them that are um like my friend andrew mar where they would blow open doors so they'd set up a charge on a door and step back and boom the door would blow these guys mean he didn't even get hit with anything or maybe iEDs like that are nearby those guys suffer significant brain damage and it's just from the impact of just getting shook by an explosion, not even anything actually hitting them in the head.

[1004] Which high school sport has the most concussions?

[1005] Is it soccer?

[1006] Girl soccer.

[1007] Isn't it cheerleading?

[1008] Had rates exceeded boys football by 2015.

[1009] Wow.

[1010] I know when you stop and you look at those, like when they're going to commercial on a college game, and they throw that girl up in the air and you're like, man, to get that right.

[1011] I saw a documentary about it.

[1012] It's one of the most dangerous sports in the world is high school cheerleading because these girls fall on a gym floor and just smack their heads on the floor.

[1013] It's crazy.

[1014] There's a breakdancing Instagram page called Stance Elements.

[1015] Jamie, pull up Stance Elements is a guy who looks like he's about 300 pounds and he breakdances.

[1016] He leaps forward and lands on the top of his head and keeps his feet up in the air.

[1017] I don't know how the fuck this guy did this.

[1018] This guy's bigger than Burt.

[1019] Really?

[1020] Yeah.

[1021] Maybe not as big.

[1022] Big's bird.

[1023] Yeah, come right.

[1024] He's pretty big.

[1025] And he leaps forward and he lands on his head, no hands, lands on his head with his feet up in the air and holds the position for like a silent second.

[1026] It's preposterous.

[1027] And when you can do that trick, you do it a lot.

[1028] Watch this.

[1029] Look at this guy.

[1030] Whoa.

[1031] Yeah.

[1032] Look the size of them.

[1033] Oh, my gosh.

[1034] Watch this.

[1035] Give me some volume.

[1036] That guy will need a disc replacement within the next month.

[1037] Oh, my.

[1038] That is so much weight.

[1039] on your fucking head he's probably so dizzy and he's playing it off that ain't any shit bro look at that oh I gotta tell you guys are making me feel so good about my mostly sedentary lifestyle that I've led my whole life because I have not been hitting my head at all it's safer you're definitely safe don't get your head this is coming from somebody who watches people get their head hit for a living totally too late I feel really good now usually I feel more shamed for the way that I've been conducting myself but just when you can avoid it I mean, look, it's not a bad way to make a living if you want to be a fighter, and you really want to do it, and that's your drive, you should do it, but you should really learn how to defend yourself correctly and learn the right technique.

[1040] But when you're doing it for recreation, and you're doing something like lacrosse, where you're running out of each other full clip and smashing each other, and that's within the rules.

[1041] Like, I think we're operating on ancient information.

[1042] That's what I think.

[1043] I think most of these systems that they're setting up, most of these sports rules and a lot of the organizations, they're all operating on these old ideas of brain damage.

[1044] That's why I'm freaking out when I'm going to this school football game.

[1045] And I'm watched this.

[1046] I'm like, this is just brain damage.

[1047] I'm watching brain damage.

[1048] And I'm watching it that's promoted by a school.

[1049] And school pride, yay, everybody go.

[1050] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1051] We're playing another team.

[1052] Let's hope we beat them.

[1053] How are you going to beat them?

[1054] You're going to fucking slam into them and give them concussions.

[1055] And they're going to go to school and they can't.

[1056] count.

[1057] Do you get blowback for talking about that stuff or from fans and that kind of thing?

[1058] No, because it's true.

[1059] Yeah.

[1060] I really, I mean, I'm sure there must be some blowback.

[1061] I don't read it anyway.

[1062] But it's got to be true.

[1063] Yeah.

[1064] I mean, it's, there's just too much evidence.

[1065] I just think, choose wisely.

[1066] Just choose.

[1067] Don't not take risks.

[1068] I mean, if you really want to be a BMX rider or a professional skateboard or you're going to take some knocks.

[1069] Yeah.

[1070] It's just part of the part of the program.

[1071] It's just don't, don't do it if you don't have to.

[1072] Yeah.

[1073] Because it piles up, and there's no coming back.

[1074] You know, when you go and you have, like, significant brain damage, I mean, you can get therapy that can help you.

[1075] But you're going to, you're going to, there's a road you're going down.

[1076] Yeah.

[1077] It's your brain.

[1078] I know.

[1079] They see those, I mean, HBO's actually tapped into it a lot with that real sports show for years now.

[1080] They've been doing follow -up pieces on CTE and, man, it is.

[1081] devastating to see some of those guys.

[1082] Some of those guys are like in their 50s, you know, 60s, and they're not there at all.

[1083] Dude, I put a video up on Instagram or on Twitter, I retweeted it, and it's boxers where it shows the boxers when they're young and they're talking and then it shows them like at their end of their career.

[1084] Yeah.

[1085] They're retiring and then they interview them and you see them like just completely gone, like a shell.

[1086] Yeah, I saw an interview with Riddick Bow for a while ago.

[1087] Really bad.

[1088] Oh, it's awful.

[1089] And I remember even, this one was actually kind of funny, was James Tony.

[1090] Because he was, it was towards the end of his fighting, and he was definitely at least 40 pounds overweight.

[1091] Right.

[1092] Like really out of shape, but still throwing bombs.

[1093] And he was sparring, and it was like that piece that they air right before the fighters go to the ring on fight night.

[1094] and I mean he's definitely taking some shots and given some shots but he was sparring and they were throwing in fresh bodies for him to spar against so it was like you know two minutes with this guy and then boom fresh body and as he's like he is like really hyperventilating sweating he's still talking shit like at as he's fighting he's like bah bah he fagg fuck you fuck you and just And then they bring in the next guy, he's like, a piece of shit.

[1095] Your mom, him, bop, pow, pow, bow.

[1096] And he's just, he's a mess.

[1097] He looks like a total mess.

[1098] But he's just like talking shit, calling guys, faggots and shit.

[1099] Like, as he's barely making it through these sparring sessions.

[1100] And, you know, I mean, he would, he needs, but he's one of those guys he had to fight, you know.

[1101] Yeah.

[1102] He had to fight.

[1103] Well, especially towards the end of his career, he took a fight in the UFC.

[1104] He did?

[1105] Yeah.

[1106] Yeah.

[1107] He's the only, like, real world champion boxer that ever.

[1108] ever fought in mixed martial arts in the UFC and Randy Couture ankle picked him took him down strangled him right away yeah it was easy yeah I mean this just you know he I don't even think he really bothered learning right he's like I'm lights out Tony I think he just put the gloves on and got in there and just had no idea what to do when Randy got a hold of him he was clearly untrained when he came to the guy look at this is it right low ankle low single I mean this is the beginning of the fight.

[1109] Randy just immediately mounts him, punches him in the head a bunch of times, and then strangles him.

[1110] And, you know, Randy was just honestly being nice.

[1111] Really?

[1112] Yeah, he could have punished him a lot longer if he wanted to.

[1113] He just wanted to finish him up.

[1114] It was sad.

[1115] Because it was just, you know, he was talking about all these guys just don't know how to handle his hands and every fight starts standing up which is true, but Randy Couture will take you down all day.

[1116] Anytime he wants and then he got him in an arm triangle and just smushed him i mean even when he's punching him he's not even hitting him that hard here he's just trying to force him to give something up he like that's what he wants he wants his head tied down against the side of his arm then he's going to squish him and that's it's a wrap whoa didn't take a punch that was pretty quick smushed it that was pretty fast yeah and james tony's one of the best that ever did it he's a phenomenal boxer yeah but just needing that paycheck.

[1117] And talked a lot of shit.

[1118] He was a great shit, talker.

[1119] A lot of shit.

[1120] Yeah.

[1121] So, I don't want to discourage you, but no, no, no. This is good.

[1122] I'd show your son some of these videos.

[1123] Because we're, like I said, we're out in the backyard playing catch.

[1124] It's just like a slice of America out there.

[1125] I'm not even thinking about this.

[1126] Well, people operate not totally aware of consequences and they make choices that will affect them for the rest of their lives.

[1127] Yeah.

[1128] And I mean, I love my kid.

[1129] Like, you guys are kind of, like, I'm having that feeling right now because I love my kids so much.

[1130] I just think, oh, wow, okay.

[1131] Does it like basketball?

[1132] He does, yeah.

[1133] Basketball is a great sport.

[1134] Yeah.

[1135] There's no contact.

[1136] And guaranteed contracts, man, if he makes it to the league, bro.

[1137] Yeah.

[1138] It's the best.

[1139] How tall is he?

[1140] Not tall.

[1141] Oh, that's not good.

[1142] Yeah.

[1143] Okay.

[1144] What about baseball?

[1145] It's another one.

[1146] Baseball's great.

[1147] That's the best.

[1148] Baseball's a bomb diggity.

[1149] As long as you only hit a bit of pitch, you get hit with a pitch.

[1150] Yeah, that sucks.

[1151] But other than that, that's the lifestyle, man. Yeah.

[1152] That's the best.

[1153] I don't know if I'm allowed to do this here, but while we're here, I really wanted to talk about how Tom got into this movie.

[1154] Can we talk about that?

[1155] Yeah.

[1156] What do you mean allowed?

[1157] I mean allowed to just like totally like, like, you know, jump tracks like that and just throw in.

[1158] Okay.

[1159] We're talking about brain damage.

[1160] I don't want to get trouble.

[1161] I don't want to get in the podcast trouble.

[1162] Podcasts are no rules.

[1163] Yeah, how did he get in this?

[1164] Yeah, how did I get in this?

[1165] So I saw his stand up and I thought it, I thought he was really funny.

[1166] And we had already written a draft of the script, and I was like, oh, man. this guy would be a great russ.

[1167] And I didn't really think too much about it because we were making another movie at the time.

[1168] And then when it came back around, we were talking about, you know, just, you know, you're talking about different people that you're going to cast and you get these boards up.

[1169] So your picture was actually on a board for a while.

[1170] Wow.

[1171] I don't think you even knew that.

[1172] I didn't know that.

[1173] Your picture was on a board.

[1174] I did not know that.

[1175] And so then, so tell it from your angle when you got the call, though.

[1176] I'll tell you this.

[1177] So I don't know if you, I don't even know if you know this, that I passed on the audition.

[1178] I do.

[1179] Yeah, you told me. I told you that.

[1180] They, when they, you know, for people, like, when you're, if you're a star, you get calls that, like, you have an offer, right?

[1181] Like, do you want this offer?

[1182] Do you want to do this movie?

[1183] But if you're just, like, working, trying to get booked, you get these emails.

[1184] Usually it's an email followed by a call that says, like, for your consideration, um, movies called Instant Family.

[1185] Sean Anderson, John Morrist wrote it.

[1186] It's, uh, you know, the part is Russ.

[1187] And it has like all the, you know, Mark Wahlberg's agreed to play this and Rose Byrne is attached to play this.

[1188] And then here's the sides.

[1189] And it was like one of those things where it'll say, you know, so Thursday at 11, 15 a .m., you are confirmed for the audition.

[1190] And I get that email like on a Monday.

[1191] And I was like, I just got back from the road.

[1192] I was like, I got a podcast today.

[1193] I was like, whatever.

[1194] And then I just don't even read any of it.

[1195] So then it's like, you know, Tuesday and then something happens and we're busy at the house.

[1196] And then they go, hey, we're just following up that you're good for the audition tomorrow.

[1197] I get that like on Wednesday, you know, just confirming that you'll be there.

[1198] And I were like, nah, like, that's a pass.

[1199] Like, I'm not going to be there.

[1200] And that was it.

[1201] I just sent that off.

[1202] Like, I'm just not doing that this week.

[1203] And then I get a call right away.

[1204] And it's my agent.

[1205] He's like, hey, I noticed that you're...

[1206] I'm trying to make money off you.

[1207] I noticed that you're not going to...

[1208] You said, no. Is there a reason?

[1209] did the what did they say there's always that phrase did you not respond to the size?

[1210] Did you not respond to the material?

[1211] Did you not respond to the material?

[1212] And I go, oh I haven't even read it and they go well why aren't you reading it?

[1213] I was like because I just kind of lay out my week I'm like I've had this I've had this with my kid I traveled I'm doing this pot I just got a lot going on and they're like he's like okay I go so it's not personal I think like he's taking it personal I'm like I go I'm not saying no to upset you.

[1214] I just have these things.

[1215] And he's like, okay, well, the director specifically requested that you audition and, like, as you know, that doesn't happen a lot with you.

[1216] So, like, do you want to reconsider?

[1217] And I was like, yeah, hold on a second.

[1218] I go, he asked me, he's asking for me. They're like, yeah.

[1219] And I go, no, wait, did you believe him or did you think he was manipulating you?

[1220] I did.

[1221] I did.

[1222] I did believe him because, I mean, he's never said that.

[1223] And, you know, a lot of times, I've done things with like the producers are in the room on this session or that stuff.

[1224] And I go, okay, well, here's the deal, man. I'm not going to go in unprepared.

[1225] Because now it's like the auditions in 24 hours.

[1226] So I go, I'll do it, but you have to buy me a couple more days.

[1227] Because I'm not like, I'm, I have this, the rest of today.

[1228] Like, I'm not going to do it tomorrow morning.

[1229] Yeah.

[1230] And he was like, okay, I'll see what I can do.

[1231] And then he called me back.

[1232] He's like, they said they're good for Monday or whatever.

[1233] And I was like, great.

[1234] So, and then I tried to prepare.

[1235] for that like, you know, because they told me the director, I was like, I can't go into this thing half fast.

[1236] So then I'm like, really trying to prepare for that.

[1237] And then I go in there and it was you, you're on Skype.

[1238] Well, okay, so here's what happened from my end.

[1239] Because you didn't show up.

[1240] Show up.

[1241] I had to go back to Atlanta.

[1242] And so then we had to do the audition via Skype, which that's, see, I didn't know that either.

[1243] That's brutal for everybody else.

[1244] Because you didn't show up but well who organize it how what kind of nonsense agency are you with that they booked you something and don't tell you that they booked well they always they do that where they'll just book it no they'll they'll they'll set up on a time right like it's very common well they'll go 11 a .m. Thursday is your agency yes now they must have nothing to do with your podcast then nothing that's the problem right so they don't know what you're booking so they just think that that takes precedent they also will be like hey you have an audition Friday and I'm like when I'm in Philadelphia and they're like, you're in Philadelphia.

[1245] Is there any way you can move that?

[1246] So this is a different agency for your stand -up as well?

[1247] Yes.

[1248] Oh, Christ.

[1249] Is there any way you can move that?

[1250] They really fucking say that?

[1251] Oh, yeah.

[1252] Holy shit.

[1253] I had an agent tell me. Oh, yeah, let me call these 5 ,000 people that are waiting for me. Yeah, I had an agent go like, why don't you just, um, oh, it was about like booking something, a booking, and I was like, when does it shoot, though?

[1254] Like, if I booked this, when does it shoot?

[1255] And it was like, this, you know, October 3rd or whatever.

[1256] I'm like, oh, but I'm in Sacramento.

[1257] Meno.

[1258] He's like, just move that.

[1259] And I was like, yeah, but it's two theater shows.

[1260] It's like 5 ,000 people.

[1261] And he was like, oh, really?

[1262] I'm like, yeah.

[1263] Like, you think I was just going to just move it aside?

[1264] And he's like, I'm like, why don't you know that?

[1265] My calendar's public.

[1266] Yeah.

[1267] Like, just look it up, man. But yeah, they'll give you answers like that.

[1268] So, you should quit acting.

[1269] You should make this movie.

[1270] I'm sure this movie's going to be awesome.

[1271] Make it your swan song, bro.

[1272] A lot of people are saying it's the breakout performance.

[1273] of the year.

[1274] I don't know if you've heard that yet.

[1275] Those four minutes crackle.

[1276] They resonate.

[1277] They do.

[1278] That's what I've heard.

[1279] They do.

[1280] Well, so I'm in, I'm in Atlanta.

[1281] Atlanta.

[1282] Thank you.

[1283] And I, and we, he, he auditions via Skype.

[1284] And when I saw his stand -up, I was like, this guy's perfect, because we want this guy to just have this kind of swagger and this confidence, but he can kind of say these jackassy things, but just sort of own them.

[1285] And I'm like, this guy's perfect for this.

[1286] I keep saying this guy, because I didn't know him at the time.

[1287] and so Tom comes in and I watch the Skype audition now I'm going to shit talk to you a little bit here and and he was not good he was so not like like who he is like he came in and he kind of was like sort of putting his back into it a little bit like he was kind of like really just trying to be kind of like really sort of extra funny and it was just not at all what I had in mind but I just was like so I'm watching it Skype and I'm just so I'm trying to give you know some direction how do you feel about this that you weren't good I have I had no I idea, what, whether, here's the thing, every audition, this is actually fascinating if you audition because you literally leave auditions and you go, sometimes you go, that was great and you'll never hear anything again.

[1288] Sometimes you go, I bombed and you get a call, hey, guess what they want to see you again?

[1289] Or you booked for it.

[1290] You're like, what?

[1291] And you don't know what they want.

[1292] You have no idea.

[1293] You have no idea.

[1294] I mean.

[1295] You don't really know what they want when you're going in.

[1296] I did not know that it sucked that bad.

[1297] I didn't know that.

[1298] No, it wasn't the, it wasn't the that it sucked that bad it might have been no no it wasn't no it was just that you you have this very specific thing that you do that I wanted to bring in and be a part of this character and you left that out see I but I don't think what's that thing it's like he's got this he's got this in his delivery this kind of devil may care kind of like like a dead pan sort of but it's this but it's like a big part of your persona is this whole like all like whatever you know yeah I just said that okay and I wanted Russ to have that thing and when you came into audition you left that thing out did I do you think I did that in the movie not at all no you were great in the movie no I'm saying I feel like I did the movie exactly how I audition no you didn't at all really no no it was like night and day really in my mind if you if someone were to ask me I'd be like 100 % they're the same the second audition you did just like the movie really yeah because basically so so then what happened is we got together and I thought and I was like god I don't want to meet him for the second audition I well we got together because I called him because I really wanted him to be in the movie and I called him and I said would you be willing to just like come over to my house and we can just talk through it and work through it a little bit that's that's what Harvey Weinstein shit yeah I made jokes about that I made jokes about that immediately to him on the phone I was like am I going to give you a bath and he was like all right but can I tell you I got to go back this is more embarrassing.

[1299] I remember leaving that audition, that now you're telling me this, the first one, and telling my agent like, there's no way I could have done better.

[1300] I did.

[1301] I did tell him that.

[1302] I was like, there's no, I could not.

[1303] I can't imagine that this was, I'm serious.

[1304] And this is the thing.

[1305] I understand that because you had energy and you were funny, but you just didn't have that thing that I wanted so badly to be a part of this character.

[1306] And so there was this one thing that was missing.

[1307] And then you came over and we talked about it and then you did it and then also we got the chance to because we didn't when he read it he's just reading dialogue that we wrote you know for anybody but then once you once you have somebody's voice in your head a little bit you can adjust it and make it a little more comfortable oh that's right so we we made some adjustments to the dialogue and everything which made it more conducive to your just style of speaking that's true cadence yeah yeah that was fun and yeah it was and so then he comes back and he does it again and he crushed it and he was really funny and we sent that to the studio and they were like oh my god this guy's great and it was like such a no idea i have no idea that's that's kind of why i wanted to talk about this on on the podcast yeah i knew you didn't know all i definitely didn't know that i definitely didn't know that it's actually like it's it's the thing though like it's that's the big bummer about in general auditioning is you walk out and you go sometimes you follow up with your agent you're like what so what's the feedback and they're like they always they always tell you they loved you yeah and you're like is there anything else and you don't know, like, was it good, was it bad?

[1308] And you also don't know what they're looking for.

[1309] And I don't know.

[1310] I mean, go into your place, going over, like, you know, in detail more is also, like, I actually felt like I won a contest because, you know, you audition.

[1311] Now I know I tanked.

[1312] And then the director's like, do you want to come work on it so that, like, possibly you can do it better?

[1313] And I was like, sure, man. So I'm working with him on this thing.

[1314] And I don't know, we spent a lot of time working on it and then when I found out I booked the role then I go there and I feel like it's a second part of a contest because I like he has all great actors in the movie like for all the parts I mean you know the stars but like Margo Martindale from the American you're watching the Americans no oh that shows you've seen her though she's amazing yeah she's I heard that show awesome that show is so good I mean it just ended but like if you ever want to go on a binge weekend now you have like six seasons I think to go through and I became a big fan of hers on that, and then Julie Haggard.

[1315] And you have, like, just all these great actors.

[1316] So every time we were shooting Spencer, we take Natarro, we had, like, really good people.

[1317] Every time we're, like, shooting a scene with one of them, I end up just washing them.

[1318] Like, I'm in the scene, and I'm just like, wow, she's a really good actor.

[1319] That's weird, isn't it?

[1320] Yeah, totally is.

[1321] I did a scene with Mora Tierney once when I was on news radio.

[1322] Mora Tierney is definitely one of the best actors I ever worked with.

[1323] with, but she was so good that she did the lot.

[1324] You know, we're rehearsing, doing all those things.

[1325] She did the line in the scene, and I didn't realize that it was the line from the scene.

[1326] I realized she was just talking.

[1327] I thought she was just talking.

[1328] Because of how, like, she's so natural.

[1329] Yeah.

[1330] I was like, that kind of creep me out.

[1331] Yeah.

[1332] I was like, oh, oh, that's the line.

[1333] Whoa.

[1334] I was like, that was weird.

[1335] Like, you were just totally normal.

[1336] Right.

[1337] Because otherwise, people are like, Tom, where are we going to find a guy that's going to fix that right it's so forced she had none of that because she was really an actor before she was a good we just said some of them don't like to be called actresses right yeah so it's like safer to say actor but at comics like who the fuck uses comedian remember that that went away i didn't know that doesn't exist anymore do you know about the latin x thing i didn't know that was you didn't know about that what do you mean i was reading this article and it's yeah it's you know Latino and Latina are male and female gender specific.

[1338] Right.

[1339] So, and the word Latin also gets it done as far as, yeah, I don't know.

[1340] Yeah, so it's supposed to be, like, that's how you.

[1341] Latinx?

[1342] You should say that?

[1343] You're supposed to say Latinx.

[1344] Because, is this new?

[1345] I'm not doing it.

[1346] It's a couple years in the making.

[1347] They can fuck off.

[1348] Well, see, in Spanish, the masculized version of these words is considered gender neutral.

[1349] but that obviously doesn't work for some of us, like myself.

[1350] And so I think it's appropriate to assign masculinity as gender neutral when it isn't.

[1351] So I'm Latinx.

[1352] Well, it's interesting because my kids are Latin and this is another one of the things that we touch on.

[1353] Latinx.

[1354] Yeah, there it is.

[1355] And we touch it.

[1356] Oh, sorry, go ahead.

[1357] No, go ahead.

[1358] Well, we touch on this a little, not this pronunciation or, you know, but we touch on that a little bit in the movie of there is that feeling.

[1359] you know, when we went in to adopt our kids, we were just open.

[1360] We were like, look, we're pretty general age -wise.

[1361] We didn't go in expecting three kids, just, you know, we thought one, and it sort of turned into that.

[1362] Right.

[1363] But, you know, you're open to it and you just, and they ask you, well, what about ethnicity, you know, and you just go, yeah, you know, whatever, you know, wherever the need is, you know, whoever needs parents, you know, let us know.

[1364] and but then when when it happens in your kids in my case my kids turn out to be Latin then you have the you know you start to kind of think about like oh well you know is that is that okay is that kind of you know is that going to look like the white savior thing is that is that is that am I saying things right and whatever and what ends up happening is this really wonderful thing where your family becomes this melting pot where you know at first because of the there's the times that we live in right now it is it's a little scary jumping into that because you're thinking about what you know but you're you know but you ultimately are just going to think about who the kids are what their need is and how obviously wonderful they are and but but all of those things come up and that's the kind of thing that wouldn't even be you know why would that the the latinics thing have anything to do with my house well now it does yeah so i've got i've got all that you know all the time and and uh i don't I actually find it really interesting.

[1365] The Latinx thing?

[1366] No, no, not that specifically, but just that my family is now this little melting pot.

[1367] Yeah, that part's cool.

[1368] And it's cool.

[1369] I reject Latinx completely.

[1370] Well, it is cool, but it's also very strange that that is a, and it would be, a real point of concern.

[1371] Like you would worry about, you know, how do I handle this new culture without cultural appropriation?

[1372] How do I bring my kid and embrace the Latino or Latinx culture?

[1373] like what do I how do I handle that yeah yeah and how do I do without getting called a racist well and it gets back to what I was talking about before where you're trying to just put your kids needs first and just deal with them as children as individuals as human beings you know and but at the same time you're also you're you're with other parents and there's in the adoption community and really in in every direction there's there's mixed race families in the adoption community and and and you're kind of learning from them and It just, I don't know.

[1374] It just, it opens up a lot of conversations with your own kids and just the movies you watch, the foods you eat sometimes.

[1375] And I don't, I think it's great.

[1376] No, it's great.

[1377] I think it's great.

[1378] I think it's really, you know.

[1379] The language thing for me, for me it stands that more because my whole life I've said Latino, like my mother's Latina.

[1380] And it's just funny to me to.

[1381] Yeah.

[1382] And you speak Spanish.

[1383] Yeah, yeah.

[1384] And he speaks fluently, which is hilarious because Tom has some great stories about people not thinking he speaks Spanish.

[1385] Because when you look at him, you're like, oh, this fucking American guy.

[1386] Yeah.

[1387] He looks like a regular American guy.

[1388] But he speaks perfect.

[1389] Like, I've been around him before when he asked people questions.

[1390] Like, whoa, I forgot you could do that.

[1391] Yeah, yeah.

[1392] It's like someone who you know that could do backflips.

[1393] Right.

[1394] And they just do a backflip.

[1395] You're like, oh, I forgot you could do that.

[1396] Yeah, it's true.

[1397] And it throws people off.

[1398] Yeah.

[1399] Because you look so American.

[1400] Yeah.

[1401] And that, you mean, you look like a guy.

[1402] I mean, if you have a guy who loves football.

[1403] Yeah.

[1404] Like, just a fucking American, a regular American.

[1405] But he speaks perfect.

[1406] He rolls the arms.

[1407] It's even when you go.

[1408] Even when I travel abroad, like to Spanish -speaking countries, even there, even though Spanish -speaking countries are also melting pots, you know, I have different, they still look at you like, oh, shit, like, you know.

[1409] Yeah, look at this motherfucker.

[1410] Yeah, it really throws people up.

[1411] The most, the craziest one wasn't even with me, my sister, who, one of my sisters who also speak Spanish, went to the Naval Academy's Linguistics Center in the Navy, and she was in the Navy for a while and she learned Mandarin and it was really intense you know it was really intense and we went to a restaurant together and the the guy it was one of those restaurants like a Benny Honatite where they chopped stuff up and the guy was uh someone asked like where he's from and he said somewhere in China and she starts speaking Mandarin and he dropped the thing and he was like like he saw a ghost and she's spitting back to him and pretty fluent Mandarin and he stops and he was like I've never seen this before and he's like I've never seen a white person do this and we were like yeah pretty wild and then he turned to us he goes I don't think you understand how hard it is to speak this language and I was like I have a pretty good idea I can't do it so you know and then just watching it he was just like he couldn't even start cooking how long do you take your sister to learn well she was in when you sign when you get in to like that Naval Institute program, they have you going, I think it was something like eight hours a day, five or six days a week.

[1412] So it's really, it's super intense.

[1413] It's almost like...

[1414] All just learning Mandarin?

[1415] Yeah.

[1416] Yeah.

[1417] And it overwhelms people, people drop out, almost like in a physical stressed way, you know?

[1418] Right.

[1419] So people just can't handle it.

[1420] Like boot camp.

[1421] And I forget how long she was in it.

[1422] And, you know, she didn't reach the level of super, you know, fluent, like, we're speaking English, but she was able to communicate in Mandarin.

[1423] Can she read it?

[1424] She was reading and writing.

[1425] That's the thing is she was telling me one time about how many characters, and, you know, it was just unbelievable.

[1426] And, like, there's sounds for expressions, like, I'm going to screw up because I don't remember it, but she was like, you can do something like, oh, and that means, like, means an actual phrase, you know?

[1427] Like, there's so many, and that there's characters that mean, and that there's characters that mean, entire expressions as well that I was like this just our brains are so married to our alphabet and way of speaking that it's a real jump to to learn that you know it's just it really is fascinating when you travel and you listen to people speaking their native tongue and you realize how strangely different languages are across the entire planet yeah I mean just unbelieve like I was in Thailand the summer and you listen to people talk Thai and everything everything stretches it's got like a stretch to it you know it's like a weird this it's a very odd language i'm like compare that to like german or dutch yeah you know like the germans got those hard sounding really hard yeah it's like this weird difference yeah and the latin one the latin root word like languages all do have a flowy singing song they're kind of nice to listen to it's a beautiful language it's really nice to listen to it i mean i like listening i don't speak portuguese i like listening to it yeah brazilian portuguese is amazing yeah it sounds so cool and i listen that we listen to french music sometimes at home just in the kitchen yeah yeah yeah like cooking or something i don't know what the hell they're saying i like that when i write i listen to spanish music when i write because i have no idea what they're saying i do that too where you listen to music in a foreign language so that it doesn't it doesn't distract yeah yeah yeah it's like it sounds good it gives me a little something something but i can still think about the exact things that I'm thinking about.

[1428] Well, I recently had this interesting experience.

[1429] I sent you one of them that, you know, the trailers for the movie get...

[1430] Oh, yeah.

[1431] The movie itself and the trailers get dubbed into all kinds of different languages.

[1432] So you have this dialogue that I wrote, you know, or me and John wrote or whatever, and you get to hear it in these different languages, and I sent you the Spain -Spanish version.

[1433] Because that's different.

[1434] And I don't really...

[1435] I'm not going to pretend that I understand that much what the difference between it is.

[1436] But that's predominantly what you speak, right?

[1437] No. No. Oh, it isn't?

[1438] No. What I speak predominantly is just, like, specifically South American and more specifically a Peruvian dialect.

[1439] Oh, okay.

[1440] All right.

[1441] Great.

[1442] So, but I mean, I did study.

[1443] I studied in Madrid for six months.

[1444] And once your ears are trained to it, you can listen to someone say a sentence and know that it's, oh, that's from Spain.

[1445] Like, that's, that's really interesting.

[1446] Then there's the Cuban version of it, which is crazy.

[1447] Yeah.

[1448] It's a wild version of the way they.

[1449] All the island dialects.

[1450] sound dramatically different, you know?

[1451] Like if you listen to somebody from Cuba, Puerto Rico.

[1452] Is it a comparison like English speakers from America versus English speakers from Ireland?

[1453] Mm -hmm.

[1454] It is, yeah.

[1455] And I would say, you know, I always think of Spain as like our Britain, you know, in a way.

[1456] Like the language probably English is from England.

[1457] Right.

[1458] That's where the language.

[1459] That is how you speak it.

[1460] Spanish and Castilian, you know, that.

[1461] comes from Spain.

[1462] They're speaking O .G. Spanish.

[1463] And then it all kind of came over here and it's influenced.

[1464] And every country has different ways of saying things, different, obviously different slang, all different curses, all different expressions, completely different.

[1465] Even words like as simple as like to pick up, you know, co -her, pick something up.

[1466] You know, you say that in Mexico or Argentina.

[1467] It literally means too fuck.

[1468] So.

[1469] Really?

[1470] Yeah, so if you're like, you know, I'm going to go to this water.

[1471] Like, you're trying to, you're saying, like, I want to fuck this water.

[1472] Like, but.

[1473] Yeah, I'm going to fuck this bottle.

[1474] Yeah.

[1475] My mom told me that she was in, uh, in Argentina, like, when her youth and traveled there and was with a bellhop and she was like, coge me la muleta, which is like, pick up that suitcase.

[1476] But he was like, okay, because she was basically in slang saying, fuck my suitcase, you know.

[1477] So it's just, but like, it's just, but like.

[1478] there's like and there's also like severity of words like joder is the word like there's so many ways to say fuck of course in every language but johder in Spain is like is saying fuck it's like going like oh fuck but like when you say it in Peru no mehoes it's a softer it's not taken as severely so it's not it's not read the same way you're not saying you're saying like you're complaining but you're like I don't it's like It's taken as like, oh, don't mess with me. Wow.

[1479] You know?

[1480] So, like, even when I would say, when I would go to Spain, like, they were like, damn, you curse a lot.

[1481] I was like, really?

[1482] And then, like, you know, we went over that one.

[1483] And then, like, six months later, they were like, you actually do curse a lot all the time.

[1484] And I was like, yeah, that's probably right.

[1485] Do you do stand -up in Spanish when you...

[1486] I've done bits and stories where, like, I involve both English and Spanish, but I haven't done.

[1487] There's a show now here.

[1488] in L .A. that they're doing, I think even at the store has had it, like, once where some of the Spanish -speaking comics here have done, like, a full show in Spanish here in L .A. Francisco Ramos.

[1489] Filippe did it, Asparza.

[1490] Well, what's the other guy?

[1491] Torres.

[1492] Didn't Joey do it?

[1493] I don't know if Joey did it.

[1494] Joey used to do Spanglish in Miami.

[1495] He would do Cuban, Spanish.

[1496] plus English, and it was impossible to follow.

[1497] Yeah.

[1498] It's like, because the audiences were, there's so many Cuban people in the audience, and he would hit punchlines in Spanish, and people would literally just throw chairs through windows, and he would just jump through the ceiling.

[1499] People were, he would crush so hard.

[1500] It's so great.

[1501] I middled once in Miami and did, you know, used every trick and to get through the set, because it's such a chaotic club.

[1502] The club was insane.

[1503] It was totally insane.

[1504] Yeah.

[1505] And I was doing stuff and talking to this lady, I would, you know, I would hit a punchline in Spanish and then say something back to this guy in Spanish, then go back to English, do like your best bit and then something else is Spanish.

[1506] And it was so crazy for me at the time.

[1507] Like I had never experienced a 20 minute set like that that the guy, the headliner after me, did 35 minutes and split.

[1508] Like he was just like, good night.

[1509] Because it was, he was a white guy and it was like not.

[1510] No, it wasn't happening.

[1511] And once they got that flavor.

[1512] Yeah.

[1513] Because it was like, it's the most, I mean, that.

[1514] That room that didn't hold that many people.

[1515] No. How about?

[1516] Like 300?

[1517] I think less.

[1518] I think probably less.

[1519] Maybe like 2 .75 or something.

[1520] And it had like, you know, there were Haitians in there.

[1521] Colombians.

[1522] Cubans.

[1523] I mean, it was such a mix of people.

[1524] Yeah.

[1525] And they, if you start giving them a little bit of flavor, yeah.

[1526] And they let people in there that were like 18, too.

[1527] 18.

[1528] They let people in with guns.

[1529] It let all kinds of people in.

[1530] It was the Miami Improv.

[1531] It was the worst club to work.

[1532] They're reopening.

[1533] in a new location.

[1534] Good luck.

[1535] It's too late.

[1536] I don't know.

[1537] I hope it works out.

[1538] I don't know.

[1539] That was a...

[1540] What was that?

[1541] That was Coconut Grove?

[1542] Yeah.

[1543] And now they're opening, I think, in Durow, I think.

[1544] Miami's just so crazy.

[1545] It's such an interesting place.

[1546] It's so different than any other place.

[1547] I did Miami right before I did my Netflix special and they were using those yonder bags.

[1548] You had to put your cell phone on a yonder bag.

[1549] Yeah.

[1550] So you couldn't use it while you were inside the...

[1551] Sure.

[1552] So you know what they did?

[1553] You could leave the room and use the yonder bag.

[1554] Yeah.

[1555] Right?

[1556] So these...

[1557] The entire...

[1558] set.

[1559] It was the only place where the entire set, people just kept coming and going.

[1560] They just kept leaving and coming back.

[1561] They had to be on their phones.

[1562] There was so many people doing it.

[1563] Like, there might have been like dozens of people at any point in time walking around, coming and going, going outside to get to use their phone and then coming back in.

[1564] Like, it was chaos.

[1565] Yeah.

[1566] The phone thing, I don't know that there's a real good solution yet.

[1567] I did the Yonder thing in New Orleans and that place wasn't too big, but it was still, you could tell like you know it's inconvenient for them it's a it's a long thing to go through they but then you're like then you're people coming and going in and out of the show room because they want to use their phone it's a fucking nightmare but if they don't if they just sit there and just tune into the show it's great it's like 10 % better i think so too yeah but it's hard it's hard to impose that on people too i know it's surprised when people don't know they're like i'm doing what with my phone yeah you're like you're going to put in a bag it's still going to be on you and you can use it as long as you leave this room they're like I don't know man I need to check my phone every 18 seconds yeah I'd let people know but there's some people that just want to film everything too that's a you know when you get on stage you see people just stand there while you're doing your set and they're holding a phone up filming you and you're like this is you're making this whole thing so much weirder yeah do you understand what you're doing you're basically like a TMZ guy at the airport it's like they're watching a show like this holding it up in front of them like they're not even looking at you.

[1568] And it was especially for comedy, too.

[1569] Yeah.

[1570] I went to, of all things, a daddy daughter dance with my daughter.

[1571] And it was the weirdest thing.

[1572] Every guy was dancing with their little kids like this.

[1573] And I realized, I realized though why they were doing it.

[1574] It wasn't about the moment.

[1575] I mean, a little bit.

[1576] But it was more about that if you have that phone out and you're looking at that screen and you're doing that, it sort of keeps everything else out.

[1577] It makes you feel like you're having this little moment instead of having to be this awkward thing of like you're dancing in front of these other grown men.

[1578] Oh yeah.

[1579] I don't think it's down, honestly.

[1580] I think you're just trying to capture these moments.

[1581] You know, you're painfully aware that they're only going to be six for a year.

[1582] Yeah, but not all night.

[1583] You know what I mean?

[1584] Because it's like that that's the problem is that you wind up as a parent, you wind up with all this video that you're never going to watch because.

[1585] But you're thinking logically.

[1586] Yeah, yeah, maybe.

[1587] People aren't, they're just collecting video you know they're just collecting they're like hoarders well the thing that made me think of it though is that i was more comfortable when i had the phone on i was like oh yeah because i feel like i'm doing something like i'm not just dancing and like i'm just you know doing this thing i'm doing like a like a parental kind of thing i'm just documenting my cute kid but then when i put the phone away i felt a lot more exposed of like okay awkward white guy dancing it was painful for everybody doing your dad dance doing my oh it's the it's terrible And every guy there had the same feeling, I'm sure.

[1588] But I was just like, nope, I'm not going to do it.

[1589] I'm putting my phone away.

[1590] This is stupid.

[1591] Tell you what, though, man. You go back and look at those videos like from when your kid was really little, and it does freak you out.

[1592] Like, they're really valuable, powerful videos.

[1593] Yeah.

[1594] Videos of your kids when they're really young.

[1595] They're so, there's a video of my daughter when she was wearing a diaper.

[1596] I think she's probably just a little over one.

[1597] And we're walking through the airport.

[1598] and I'm pulling one of those little roller bags and she's behind it pushing it because she like to push it and her legs are like that tall and she's a little diaper butt and she's pushing this thing and we tell her hey we're going to go to a toy store and she's like oh and she puts her hands together and she pushes the bag again but it's like the most adorable I've watched that video hundred times easily yeah it's like that video will forever be stained in my brain that's just a crazy moment we've got these videos too there's a really interesting thing we were starting to get there earlier in our conversation but there's an interesting thing that happens when you adopt kids particularly kids that are already walking and talking when they come into your life you go through this really chaotic adjustment period because nobody knows each other and it's very it's just it's just so awkward for everybody involved and and there's there's there's so much to it but it's a really difficult time for everybody but then when you have that when you get on the other side of it and you really falling in love with your kids and you can feel that they're falling in love with you and you're becoming this family we have these video we went on this trip back to wisconsin where i'm from and when we were just things were really starting to come together before this trip and then when we went on the trip the kids like you're describing the kid pushing the suitcase like they have to stay a little tighter with you because you're in airports and you're in you're driving and you're going to like a cabin and doing these things and by the time we got back we were a family like we knew my wife and I were like wow we're we're we're like a real family now like we love these kids so much and we can tell they love us and it's an amazing thing so we have videos from that trip and those videos like you're saying are just like gold you know there's it's so amazing to see this moment you remember that bonding yeah that's a it's got to be such an intense feeling to realize that these kids could have gone in some terrible direction I mean they could When you're six years old, you're so, anything can happen.

[1599] Yeah.

[1600] Anything go wrong.

[1601] And instead, they got so lucky and they found you.

[1602] I mean, it's like, what an incredibly positive thing that is that you've done an incredibly positive thing for their lives, that they came in contact with you and so fortunate.

[1603] I mean, it's amazing.

[1604] But for our lives, too.

[1605] And we didn't know it for a while.

[1606] You know, we had that period where we were like, you really feel like for a while they're like okay we've we've done a good thing here and we're going to suffer for it for the rest of our lives and then but then as it comes online i had this one more i think i told you this but i had this one moment that and i'm not this kind of guy i don't think of myself as this kind of guy but after all of this just frustration and craziness and and uh the kids would wake up really early every morning and they would be out in the hallway throwing things at each other and arguing and whatever and you're so sleep deprived and you're just so like you know over it and one morning i woke up i think it was a sunday and it was quiet in the room my wife was still asleep and it was like around the time where the kids are normally up and i woke up and i thought oh wow it's quiet in here and then i had this just overwhelming feeling that i couldn't even identify at first and then i thought oh shit i miss them right now like i'm actually waiting for them to come in the room and wake us up and that was that was really a big moment for me where i was like wow i've turned a big corner here and that what you get from them and that those kinds of feelings is pretty incredible is this strange seeing the movie like thinking that this is based on not just your life experience but also based on your interaction with some kids that you never wound up adopting yeah it's well and also i met a but like i said i met a bunch of families along the way and some of the there's this young girl named marade green who became a consultant on the movie because she grew up in foster care she was adopted as a teenager she's an amazing kids.

[1607] She goes to UCLA right now.

[1608] And so I know either my own stories or other people's stories.

[1609] I can associate them with really specific kids.

[1610] So the thing that's embarrassing is that I'm taking the movie all over the country.

[1611] I've seen the movie like a thousand times now.

[1612] And anytime I watch it with an audience, I get emotional watching the movie.

[1613] I mean, the movie's really funny, but it's got some really emotional moments.

[1614] And it's embarrassing because it looks like, oh, God, I'm getting so broken up by my own movie.

[1615] You know?

[1616] But it's really because I'm thinking about my own kids or I'm thinking about these real kids that are, you know, that I've met along the way.

[1617] So it's pretty good.

[1618] I got to tell you this.

[1619] And I know I'm in it and I'm amazing in it.

[1620] But I'm saying, I'm saying in the, we went to the screening like a month or two ago.

[1621] And Christine and I get there.

[1622] And we run into Mark right away.

[1623] So he's like, he's like, you haven't seen this?

[1624] And I go, no, he's like, it's really.

[1625] man it's really good and I was like yeah I keep hearing it's good and he's like no like he was like he was prepping me for how emotional he gets in it he goes he's like I you know I'm in some violent stuff that's awesome but this I'm in and he's like I couldn't help but like get emotional about it and I was like okay I'm like all right and then I sit there and watch and then I look over Christina's crying parts of the movie I start getting emotional in parts of the movie I start getting I mean, it's like he actually, I'll say this, you did a really good job of balancing those emotional moments with the comedy.

[1626] So, I mean, I don't know how you do it, but like the back and forth of it was like a perfect balance.

[1627] And I think it's a great movie.

[1628] I mean, everybody who's seen it has, you know, that has said anything to me is just like blown away by the movie.

[1629] Yeah, well, and that balance of comedy and drama was what we worked on.

[1630] That was the number one thing we worked on through every draft and everything.

[1631] And it is really fun to watch with an audience because they do get emotionally caught up in it.

[1632] But we're always coming back and giving them a laugh where they need it, you know?

[1633] If this is a hit, do you think they're going to want to dig down to other aspects of your personal life and try to pull out?

[1634] This is all I got.

[1635] This is Blue Star Airlines for me. This is like, what is Blue Star Airlines?

[1636] You know, in Wall Street when Charlie Sheen couldn't sell anything to Gordon Gecko?

[1637] And then he's like, well, what about Blue Star Airlines?

[1638] Because he had the tip from his dad because his dad was like a mechanic of Blue Star Airlines.

[1639] That's been kind of the running joke that this is the only interest.

[1640] thing in my life.

[1641] So I've already, you know, gone there.

[1642] And it's just, you know, when this, happens, you know, and you become part of that adoption community as well.

[1643] So it really becomes a big part of who you are and who your family is and that kind of thing.

[1644] So, you know, this is all I got.

[1645] I got this and then making movies, you know.

[1646] This must be a different movie for you, though.

[1647] I mean, I'm sure you love your other movies, but this one's got to be a really different feel.

[1648] It's really different.

[1649] Because, you know, I was talking about sex drive before.

[1650] why that one always has a special place in my heart is because it was my first real Hollywood movie and I was just, it was just such an amazing experience to just be this bumpkin from out of nowhere making this movie with all this budget and it was great.

[1651] But I've had great experiences on all the movies that I've made, but this one's totally different.

[1652] It's a different tone.

[1653] It has more drama.

[1654] It has more gravity to it.

[1655] It's about something that is really, really important to me. And it's really funny.

[1656] And we have people like Tom in the movie.

[1657] And Tom is, I mean, And, you know, we're joking, but he is really funny in the movie.

[1658] I believe you.

[1659] I think he's a funny guy.

[1660] Yeah, he's a funny guy.

[1661] I really do.

[1662] Thanks, man. I've telling people that for years, but I haven't been lying.

[1663] It was fun to do, man. It was really a thrill.

[1664] We just became one of those morning shows.

[1665] No, but I'll tell you this, though.

[1666] The camaraderie on that thing was another thing that was really fun.

[1667] Because you go to a different, we went to Atlanta, and we have this great group every day.

[1668] Well, we have like, you know, you have the big stars, but then, like, people I mentioned, like, Margo and them, and Julie, Michael, Alan, Britt, Jody.

[1669] And we would just like, it was like, it is kind of like being in a camp or something, you know, which for me was the first experience.

[1670] Well, and what you don't know is that, and what a lot of people who work in movies a lot of times, that so much of the, the camaraderie of the set is set by kind of number one, number two on the call sheet.

[1671] Like, whoever the big movie stars are in your movie, sometimes, you know, you hear these stories, a lot of stories.

[1672] Steven Seagall.

[1673] Yeah.

[1674] Oh, dude.

[1675] But just people walking on eggshells around, you know, whoever the, you know.

[1676] And when you have people like Mark and Rose were really cool and just really easy to deal with, everybody, everybody just is so much more relaxed and having a really good time when, you know.

[1677] And then, I mean, you know, I'll take some credit for it myself, too, because John and I try to run a really happy set and we just try to have.

[1678] Definitely, man. Definitely.

[1679] You guys are so like you guys are low maintenance types, you know?

[1680] Like you're like the type of people like it feels I took you for just to show you like how unpretentious he is when I got the part I was like I we'd been speaking about the part and other things and then you know I'll get an email about rehearsal at Paramount and I would just call Sean like the director.

[1681] I'm like hey is rehearsal at 10?

[1682] And he's like yeah.

[1683] I'm like where do I park?

[1684] He's like.

[1685] I think in the, there's a lot that they'll tell you there to go.

[1686] And I'm like, okay, and I'd hang up and I'd be like, I'm just calling the director of like a major picture like, where do I park?

[1687] You know, and he was never like, fucking figure it out, you know?

[1688] He was just like, yeah, it's fine.

[1689] Just call me if you need parking directions.

[1690] It's totally fine.

[1691] When is this, is it out right now?

[1692] It comes out Friday.

[1693] It comes out November 16th, yeah.

[1694] Beautiful.

[1695] I think we could wrap this.

[1696] All right.

[1697] That was great.

[1698] Yeah.

[1699] Thank you, man. Thank you.

[1700] for doing this thanks for making the movie thanks for everything thanks for hiring my friend yeah thanks for by the way i wanted to tell you before we before we cut out that video that you did share that you were talking about before of the little girl the little girl when that when that went out we were in this process of discussing you know the movie and and how to kind of get the message out on the movie and i got that video i saw it on your thing and i immediately sent it to everybody associated with the movie and i was like you guys this is our movie it's right here in this video it's right here in that girl's face that's it that's our movie So that was really helpful I'm glad you had sent that out Oh, I couldn't not When I got a hold of that Yeah, that video was so intense It was so amazing Anyway, sorry, I know you were trying to wrap it up No worries man, no This is it Instant Family out Friday Go see it, you folks Go see it Bye everybody Thanks