Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend XX
[0] Conan O 'Brien needs a fan.
[1] Want to talk to Conan?
[2] Visit teamcoco .com slash call Conan.
[3] Okay, let's get started.
[4] Hello, Conan.
[5] Hi, Joe.
[6] Hey, hey, hey, sonah, how are you?
[7] Oh, hey, Yosef.
[8] Is your name Yosef?
[9] Or Joseph, Joseph, Joe, whatever you want to call me. Okay, Sam.
[10] It's nice to...
[11] I love your background.
[12] You took the background from my...
[13] From my pandemic Zoom shows.
[14] That is so crazy.
[15] Because I'm at your home right now, yes.
[16] I want to call my wife right now and say, Yousef is in the house with you.
[17] Get out!
[18] Where are you right now?
[19] You're in Egypt?
[20] I'm from Egypt.
[21] So, yeah, a small city that you haven't heard about it before.
[22] My city.
[23] It's called the Borside.
[24] Oh, Portside.
[25] So I'm guessing it is on the water.
[26] Where is it located in Egypt?
[27] Yeah.
[28] It's allocated like, I don't know, it's a two -hour drive from Cairo.
[29] That's just on the Suez Canal.
[30] Oh, yeah.
[31] So it's near the Suez Canal.
[32] Okay.
[33] So you're on the water in Egypt.
[34] Yeah, just right there.
[35] That's very cool.
[36] Well, I'm guessing you're, you must be a fan or know of our show because you're using my background from my house to talk to me in Egypt.
[37] Can I say one thing?
[38] Yes.
[39] My name is Yusuf and I feel pleased to be Conan O 'Brien's fan I always wanted to say Joseph, I like that thanks so nice it's really, you know it makes me very happy when people from around the world listen to our silliness so that I'm honored I'm honored to have you as a fan tell me about yourself Yusuf what do you do for a living you live in you say Port Saeed Egypt and what do you do well actually that's a very good pronunciation for it.
[40] Well, I listened to you the first time and I copied it.
[41] Yeah.
[42] How I survive in the world.
[43] What do you, what do you do?
[44] Well, I do many things.
[45] I work as a voiceover actor.
[46] I also work in marketing.
[47] I worked in comedy.
[48] I worked in translation, teaching.
[49] I work it as tour guide.
[50] Oh, well, so much to ask you about, first of all, you're a voiceover actor.
[51] Would you be willing to do my voice so that people, if If people heard me or could watch the show in Egypt, you could do the translation.
[52] Absolutely.
[53] It would be very, like say, Katakai, as God made it.
[54] Well, let me ask you a question.
[55] Let's say I sent you a piece of my comedy or something.
[56] Would you be able to put your voice over it?
[57] Well, I can give it a try, for sure.
[58] That has been my motive, my entire life.
[59] I can give it a try.
[60] So, yeah, I like that.
[61] Okay.
[62] I mean, here's my other question.
[63] Would you try to sound like me or would you sound different?
[64] Yeah, the accent would be very different because as you can see, like, my accent is very Egyptian and your accent, yeah.
[65] But I'll try to sound like you.
[66] Okay, would you try and sound like me?
[67] Or would, because you've got a very nice, low voice.
[68] Would you give me a lower voice?
[69] Because I wouldn't mind that.
[70] I can go lower as you want.
[71] It's the second time today I've heard that.
[72] So, it's a filthy joke.
[73] Don't, please.
[74] I don't want to get you in trouble.
[75] Let me try and get the story straight here.
[76] You live in Egypt near the Suez Canal, Port Saeed, and you're a voiceover artist, which means you are in the habit of putting your voice over what?
[77] Cartoons.
[78] Have you done cartoons?
[79] Anything.
[80] Mostly books.
[81] Books?
[82] Oh, I see.
[83] You do books on tape, that kind of thing.
[84] Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
[85] Mostly books.
[86] But I do cartoon.
[87] I do comedy show.
[88] I do, like, whatever actually pays me money, I'd do it.
[89] I would do the hell out of it.
[90] Can I say something?
[91] You're a cheerful Charlie.
[92] I'll say that about you.
[93] So what happens is I work with comedians.
[94] I never do shows myself, because I'm too afraid, honestly.
[95] So I write their jokes and write their skits and everything, and they say the jokes, they say everything.
[96] Like, they can take their applause.
[97] I don't care.
[98] I just care about it.
[99] Like, pay me and I'll be all right.
[100] That's it, you know.
[101] Wow.
[102] Okay.
[103] As long as you get paid, you'll do anything, right?
[104] Absolutely.
[105] Because, okay, there's someone in Egypt, I want murdered.
[106] Okay, will you do it?
[107] Consider it done, yeah.
[108] Oh my God.
[109] You're such a chipper, amiable assassin.
[110] I love it.
[111] Okay, so.
[112] I like writing more.
[113] I don't like perform because I'm very shy.
[114] Yeah, I can tell.
[115] Yeah, it's really hard to get you out of your shell, you said.
[116] Exactly.
[117] I can't shut you up, frankly.
[118] you're a babbling Brooke.
[119] Yousef, so you don't, do you ever go to Cairo?
[120] I've always wanted to go to Cairo, I've never been there.
[121] Tell me about Cairo.
[122] I hate it.
[123] I hate it, hate it, very much hated.
[124] What are you talking about?
[125] My dream, my dream has been to visit Cairo, and you hate it?
[126] Just don't, don't, please.
[127] How long does it take you to get to Cairo if you're driving from Port Said?
[128] How long is it take?
[129] Two nightmares.
[130] Oh my God.
[131] Yeah, because I...
[132] What is so bad of it?
[133] What about Cairo?
[134] What's so bad about Cairo?
[135] It has everything I hate about life in general.
[136] Oh.
[137] Yeah, so that's Cairo for me. That's a lot of people and all of them are running.
[138] And I don't know why they are running.
[139] Like I was just like, why?
[140] Why are running?
[141] And I live good like the Vistration and people are shoving each other.
[142] Get out of my way.
[143] Yeah, well, we call that in America, we call that Manhattan.
[144] You know, that's what we have Manhattan where we all go.
[145] We've all agreed.
[146] Let's meet there and shove each other.
[147] other and be in a hurry.
[148] I'm a chill.
[149] I would live like in Montepinllo, not in Manhattan.
[150] Oh my God.
[151] Incredible.
[152] Deep cut.
[153] Deep cut's left and right.
[154] Losing pins by the second.
[155] Listen, there'll be a meeting after this is over.
[156] Just sit, what's that?
[157] I honestly, don't get if it said.
[158] Oh, could you do me a favorite?
[159] Could you look in the camera?
[160] You said, if you don't mind, yeah, look straight ahead.
[161] There you go.
[162] I would be.
[163] Were you watching another.
[164] television show while you were talking to me. Is that what you're doing?
[165] Exactly, exactly.
[166] Okay, well, that's terrific.
[167] Let's just call it a TV show.
[168] Okay.
[169] Very nice.
[170] It's a very nice, polite word for pornography.
[171] Now, let me ask you something, Yusuf.
[172] And if it's not too personal, you can tell me, but are you Muslim?
[173] What is your religious affiliation?
[174] And I'm Christian.
[175] You're Christian?
[176] Okay.
[177] That would put you in the minority.
[178] Would it not in Egypt?
[179] Yeah, baby.
[180] Oh, yeah.
[181] Oh, yeah.
[182] Egypt is a very religious country.
[183] Like, with either you are, like, Muslim or Christian, you are religious.
[184] You are, born -raised tradition.
[185] Yeah.
[186] But if you are Christians, like, that adds layers on it.
[187] And to me, honestly, because, again, I love comedy.
[188] So I always, like, look at the fun part of it.
[189] So, yeah, it has been, I don't know, let's say, oddly funny.
[190] To be a little difficult to be, is there a prejudice against you sometimes?
[191] because you're Christian or, I bet that's not always true.
[192] I bet you probably know plenty of people of the Muslim faith who accept that you're Christian, right?
[193] Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely.
[194] But it's, let's call it microaggression.
[195] Like you would get someone say, hey, after the meeting you and say, wow, man, you're a very good person despite being Christian.
[196] Yeah, yeah.
[197] Well, to be fair, I get that too.
[198] Yousef, constantly people saying.
[199] You seem okay despite the fact that you're Christian.
[200] Christian.
[201] So you always get like things like that, which kind of, I don't know, like you adapt to it.
[202] Yeah, because like my name is very Muslim, like my name, my Arabic name, which is Yusuf is very Muslim.
[203] So it's actually like, it can be Muslim and it can be Christian, but many, many, like Ram Yusuf, for example, I think he has been on your show.
[204] Yes.
[205] Yes, he has been on the show.
[206] So he's Muslim and, of course, he's Yusuf as well.
[207] So yeah My name is very Muslim So people assume that I'm Muslim Once they ask about my name So that all's like Let's speak about these Christians And I say let's You know Got it So yeah exactly So I play along like All day long baby All day long I never stop Wait a minute You play along You pretend to be Muslim Is that what you do?
[208] Absolutely Absolutely absolutely It's actually my favorite hobby In the whole That's funny That's so funny I like mountain biking and you like pretending to be Muslim.
[209] I guess we each have our thing that we do.
[210] You know, I tried your hobby for a bit.
[211] No one was buying it.
[212] No, no, I don't think they'll buy it.
[213] Not to exist right there, I'm serious.
[214] Tell me what, you know, I've never been to Egypt and I'm just curious, you must have observations about Egyptian people that you could share with us because you write comedy.
[215] Tell us, you know, describe.
[216] you know, Egyptian people for me. What are the kind of the things about them that you find kind of fun?
[217] Well, Egyptians, and again, I'm not going to say all Egyptians because I know, I know, but you know the way we have generalizations that we make, that's a lot of comedy is, oh my God, and so I'm just curious as an Egyptian living there, if you're thinking of comedy, what are your observations?
[218] Yeah, I'm going to get so much hate into the comment section, you know?
[219] That's right.
[220] I never read the comments.
[221] It's kept me alive, 30 years in the business.
[222] So, yeah, you're not like, and I'm included.
[223] I'm not, like, excluded myself or anything.
[224] We always say, like, we know it.
[225] Like, we can do it.
[226] It's fine.
[227] Like, we never say, no, we don't know.
[228] We'll say, yeah, we know it, like, we can do it.
[229] Oh, so.
[230] I think that's how we survived.
[231] So, so if I were to say to you, if I bumped into you on the street and said, hey, I need someone who can help me fly in a helicopter, I need to.
[232] And you would just say, let's go, I got it?
[233] immediately, without any hesitation.
[234] Like, I wouldn't even think about it.
[235] Let's go.
[236] Let's fly.
[237] So I should be very...
[238] I'd actually call two of my cousins to fly, don't you know.
[239] If I ever, if I, that makes me wonder if I'm flying, if I'm on an airplane flight in Egypt, who's in the cockpit?
[240] It might be some guy who just said, I got this, I got it, no problem.
[241] Yeah, absolutely.
[242] I got it, you know, absolutely, absolutely.
[243] We all got it, you know.
[244] Like, I drove a car without knowing how to drive.
[245] Youssef, I hate to tell you, that's half the people in Boston, just so you know.
[246] So you just got in a car, you didn't have a license or anything, you just started driving?
[247] I didn't have anything.
[248] I was like 14 years old, and I got in a car, and I said to my friend, I told me, you drive.
[249] And, of course, I didn't learn how drive, but I didn't tell him that I didn't learn another.
[250] And I said, okay, just tell me how this car works.
[251] Because I, yeah, it's my first time of this car.
[252] I said, I just do this one.
[253] And boom, we bombed into a tree straight away, two minutes here.
[254] So, yeah, that's...
[255] The first thing you did was...
[256] But I drove it for two minutes here.
[257] Well, your accomplishment was you went two whole minutes without hitting a tree.
[258] So I think for your first time...
[259] Yeah, we're going towards it, so, yeah, about it.
[260] And then did all of your Muslim friends say, up, that's a Christian for you.
[261] That's a Christian for you.
[262] Two minutes, his first time behind the wheel, and he hits a tree.
[263] Absolutely, that's a Christian for you.
[264] But my friend was Christian as well, so I didn't think he had this privilege.
[265] Youssef, do me a favor If you could If you were to dub my voice So that the Egyptian people could enjoy me Can you tell me how you would try and sound First of all You can actually Do you want to speak in Arabic or in English?
[266] I think in Arabic would be Yeah, I think Arabic would be good Absolutely And just say hello everybody Welcome to the show My name's Conan O 'Brien Welcome to the podcast, that kind of thing Yeah, but give me like give me your best, like, give me something hard.
[267] Don't go easy on me. What are you doing?
[268] Give you something hard?
[269] What are you talking about?
[270] Don't just say, hi, my name is Conan Robrey.
[271] So today you said I'll go as low as you want and give me something hard.
[272] Those are the two things you've come up with today.
[273] You filthy man. And remember, I am watching another show.
[274] Yeah, I am.
[275] I'm trusting.
[276] I can tell.
[277] So, all right, I'll say, hey everybody, welcome to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend.
[278] Oh, hello.
[279] Oh, my name is Conan.
[280] And I'm welcome in Conan needs a friend.
[281] Merhavik of kuhn.
[282] Oh, this is, okay.
[283] And I'm here with my friend Sona, of course.
[284] I'm here with Sona.
[285] Who, of course, is my assistant, but she's never done any work.
[286] She, it's to be my assaadity.
[287] But in the fact, not to do any thing in the morrow.
[288] I love this.
[289] That's cool.
[290] And I love the way you go after Sona.
[291] Say, hey, say, I bet right now, Sonas high on Gummies.
[292] Because that's the Sona I know.
[293] I mean, what I'm now that sunnet to take them because this is a way of the way.
[294] In fact, that was so long.
[295] Yusuf, how dare you?
[296] Yusuf, what I said was so short and you just went to town is the word gummy like seven syllables?
[297] What the hell is that?
[298] How dare you?
[299] That's not a big fear.
[300] Yeah.
[301] Yeah, and just say it's tough for me, Conan, because I'm a genius.
[302] And I'm saddled.
[303] I'm saddled with people around me, who drag me down constantly, but I always persevere.
[304] It's hard on it, of course I'm a person abkaree.
[305] I get to have seen always mothaned by a chasper.
[306] Yeah, you know what?
[307] I'm a huge fan of our podcast if it's in Arabic.
[308] I didn't understand a word he said, but I could still sense the bullshit that was coming from it.
[309] Hey, utter nonsense.
[310] Yusuf, what if?
[311] I'm just going to give you one direction.
[312] Try one.
[313] where you just introduce the podcast and Hi, I'm Conan O 'Brien, but try to match what my voice sounds like as best you can, but still speak in Arabic.
[314] Can you try that?
[315] Five.
[316] Which episodes?
[317] You know, some episodes you try very hard.
[318] No, no, just do the standard Conan.
[319] Five, four, three, two, one, and go.
[320] Mirchban, I'm here with you in a program, Conan, he hathed me with a friend.
[321] Yes.
[322] Wait, what?
[323] What?
[324] Was that me?
[325] Yeah, that is.
[326] How?
[327] How is it?
[328] Like some of the episodes, you're like, hello.
[329] Some of the episodes, yeah.
[330] Okay, hey, and Wardo over here is laughing.
[331] Enwarno, shut up.
[332] It was spot on.
[333] That was very good.
[334] That was pretty spot on, yeah.
[335] That was very good.
[336] So you had my, that's me trying to be professional.
[337] Is that it?
[338] Yeah, absolutely.
[339] Yeah, yeah.
[340] Wow, all right.
[341] Well, man, you're going to go low, but I can't go high.
[342] Like, you have a very high pitch.
[343] I can never reach it.
[344] If ever.
[345] But I can go very, very low.
[346] So it's actually a compliment.
[347] I don't think it's high pitch.
[348] I think it's called, Yusuf, it's called an Irish tenor.
[349] And for you to say it's high -pitched is insulting to me. No, no, I have some Irish films and believe me you have a high -pitched.
[350] It's okay, it's a kid.
[351] You did fine for yourself, you know, I've been working for like 30 years in comedy.
[352] We're doing fine.
[353] Take it easy, take it easy.
[354] Okay, I'm sorry I snapped at you for saying I had a high -pitched voice.
[355] I think we should sing an Irish lullaby now.
[356] Can you do an Irish lullaby in Arabic?
[357] Could you do that?
[358] Let's go.
[359] Let's go.
[360] I'll give you the first part.
[361] I'll give you the first part.
[362] As a young boy in Killarney, so many years ago.
[363] Before I'm a day of many years ago.
[364] My mom would sing this lullaby.
[365] Ummy can't to ganyl me this denhida.
[366] In tunes, so sweet and low.
[367] I don't understand.
[368] You're not me there.
[369] I mean some subtitles right now.
[370] I love.
[371] I love my new Arabic Irish lullaby.
[372] This is fantastic.
[373] I'm very happy.
[374] You know what?
[375] We're going to record this and we're going to get this on the top of the charts, okay?
[376] I doubted.
[377] Well, at least you were honest with me. At least you were honest with me, Yousef.
[378] It was very nice talking to you.
[379] Yeah, it was.
[380] Youssef, it was really nice talking to you.
[381] You're a funny guy and I I'm happy to know that you're out there listening to us and thank you.
[382] It's nice to have.
[383] Honestly, I just want to say you really like help with me in 2020, 2020, 2021, 23.
[384] I honestly listen to some episodes to sleep.
[385] No offense.
[386] No, no. Oh, it's okay.
[387] That's okay.
[388] It's okay.
[389] If I put you to sleep every night that's kind of what I'm now that's not what I'm here to do, frankly.
[390] No, but I'm glad.
[391] I'm glad that, yeah, we've had a lot of people that said that during the pandemic, they enjoy listening.
[392] Absolutely.
[393] That makes me happy.
[394] It makes me very happy.
[395] Well, I hope our paths cross someday, Youssef.
[396] I really like you, and I'm glad that you're my friend.
[397] Thank you.
[398] Thank you, Conan.
[399] Thank you.
[400] All right.
[401] Take care and be well.
[402] Bye, Yusuf.
[403] Bye, Yusuf.
[404] Bye, bye.
[405] Conan O 'Brien needs a fan with Conan O 'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Gourley.
[406] Produced by me, Matt Gourley.
[407] Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Joanna Solitaireff, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson at Earwolf.
[408] Music by Jimmy Vivino.
[409] Supervising producer Aaron Blaird.
[410] Associate talent producer Jennifer Samples.
[411] Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Burm.
[412] Engineering by Eduardo Perez.
[413] Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
[414] This has been a Team Coco production in association with Stitcher.