Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend XX
[0] Conan O 'Brien needs a fan.
[1] Want to talk to Conan?
[2] Visit teamcoco .com slash call Conan.
[3] Okay, let's get started.
[4] Hi, Rebecca.
[5] Say hello to us.
[6] Hi, Jill Choms and Conan.
[7] Hey.
[8] Hey, Rebecca.
[9] It's nice to talk to you.
[10] It's so nice to see you.
[11] And I'm looking at you right now.
[12] You've got, I'll say it.
[13] You've got a very hip vibe.
[14] Oh, thank you.
[15] Yeah.
[16] Doesn't she, doesn't she Sona, Matt?
[17] Oh, yeah.
[18] I love your hair.
[19] I love what you're wearing.
[20] Tattoos kind of blend into your shirt, too.
[21] It's really cool.
[22] Yeah, I was just told that.
[23] I didn't plan that, but.
[24] You seem like a free spirit, someone who refuses to conform.
[25] Exactly.
[26] To modern mores.
[27] And I just love saying mores because I don't get to say it enough.
[28] I would agree with that.
[29] So, Rebecca, I know nothing about you.
[30] Where are you from?
[31] Where are you talking to us from?
[32] I'm in Seattle.
[33] right now.
[34] Oh, I probably say this too often on the podcast, but my wife is from Seattle, so I spend a lot of time there, going back to see her parents and apologizing for various things I've done.
[35] She's got to keep making the trips.
[36] Yeah, but no, I really, every month, every month, I go on my apology tour to, mostly just just apologizing for my genetic contribution.
[37] Yeah, she's, yeah.
[38] Anyway, I married up, as I always say.
[39] But no, I do love that town.
[40] I really do.
[41] And I have to say, there's so many cool people who refuse to conform to social mores.
[42] I'm sorry.
[43] I'm going to try and get that.
[44] Let's get a third in there.
[45] Oh, trust me. I'm getting five in.
[46] We could stop there.
[47] Too's enough.
[48] Well, I could go for less or for mores, you know.
[49] Oh, that's a bonus point.
[50] Oh, God.
[51] So, Rebecca, you're from, you're living in Seattle, which is one of my favorite towns, one of my favorite places to hang.
[52] And tell me a little bit about yourself.
[53] What do you do?
[54] So I have a couple jobs.
[55] My first job is, I work at a bar.
[56] I do a little bit of bartending, serving.
[57] I run the social media.
[58] What kind of bar are we talking about?
[59] It's like a nautical tiki bar.
[60] It's called Bate Shop.
[61] Oh, wow.
[62] Oh, cool.
[63] I love a tiki bar because, I don't feel awkward ordering my favorite kind of drink, which involve, well, I'll be honest with you, it involves a rum and then some kind of candy bar that's been put in a one.
[64] And then at least, you know, yes, I used to like them really sweet.
[65] Now I don't like him as sweet as I've matured, but I still have to tell you like a rum punch, man, A rum punch with a big umbrella in it.
[66] And I mean, I like a real functioning umbrella resting in my lungs.
[67] Full size.
[68] We get a lot of people that leave those in Lost and Found.
[69] So it's Seattle, so we got a lot of them.
[70] But anyway, so what would be the drink for me if I came into your Tiki bar?
[71] Well, you said you like rum.
[72] We have, it's not just our cocktail, but a classic Tiki cocktail is a painkiller.
[73] It's rum, coconut, orange juice, pie.
[74] pineapple, nutmeg, and cinnamon, but we put it in like a blender, and we put an umbrella in a little plastic animal on it.
[75] And is one of the ingredients is, like, what, 80 milligrams of oxycontin?
[76] Is that right?
[77] Oh, no. We like do like a sprinkle of adple on top.
[78] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[79] You're being investigated by the Justice Department and the Food and Drug Administration.
[80] Well, that sounds, I mean, is that going to be too much for me or think I can handle it?
[81] You can handle it.
[82] You can handle it, yeah.
[83] It's delicious.
[84] I like it.
[85] I like those kind of drinks because you get all of your carbs done for the day.
[86] Actually, for the week.
[87] You know, you get everything.
[88] And you've celebrated like three Halloweens, just with one drink.
[89] Yes, and just a great hangover the next day.
[90] Yeah.
[91] I like to order a drink like that and then hook myself up.
[92] for some, you know, some kind of diabetic treatment.
[93] But anyway, so I'm curious, so you run the tiki bar.
[94] You said you have a couple of jobs.
[95] What else?
[96] Yeah.
[97] So my other job is a business I started last year called Sordid.
[98] And I do like home and business and office organization and interior design.
[99] And my tagline for my business is get your shit together.
[100] That's really good.
[101] So, okay, that's fascinating.
[102] I find this whole concept of organizing very interesting, and I've gotten somewhat involved in it.
[103] Oh, that's great.
[104] Well, you know, it started with that theory from a couple of years ago.
[105] What's her name, Kando?
[106] Marie Kondo.
[107] Marie Kondo.
[108] And she wanted you to say goodbye to each item and bless it on its journey.
[109] And I realize I don't treat people that nicely.
[110] So why would I talk to my underwear that way?
[111] Do you make fun of it?
[112] Do you do bits about it?
[113] Do you like demean your underwear?
[114] Most of my belongings are really happy to get the fuck out of it.
[115] I'll say that about my organizing technique.
[116] I've got like old picture frames that are like, we are so happy to go.
[117] We don't care if we're in a landfill.
[118] Just let me out of here.
[119] So that's really fascinating.
[120] No, I believe in it.
[121] I do believe and I've experienced this that, you know, I come from, let's just say, some members of my family like to hang on to stuff.
[122] And I think I have almost a reaction to it.
[123] I am sentimental, but I do try to constantly give things away.
[124] And I find that I just feel so much better after I do that, I just, that the stuff starts to weigh on me, you know, if it's, if, if, if I have, and also what I didn't used to realize is that things are constantly coming in.
[125] We just pick up stuff.
[126] People hand you something.
[127] Something comes in the, stuff accumulates like silt in a riverbed.
[128] And so this isn't something you do once.
[129] This is something you have to do constantly.
[130] Which is why I have repeat clients.
[131] now do you find when you're teaching people what about when you're dealing with someone who doesn't want to let the stuff go is that a problem or do you just get rid of it i never really go into these appointments like thinking i'm going to force people to get rid of things it's always like a bonus because i love i just love throwing stuff out i think it's you know like you're saying it just feels really good but you know what can i use it a different phrase yeah throwing throwing stuff out used to make me feel because I was brought up well you can't waste it's a sin you know because I was raised Catholic you can't do that giving it away giving it to someone else that is the huge difference making sure that someone else oh good someone else is going to enjoy this yes so when I'm going through things with clients I make different piles for them and like it'll be keep donate throw away if it's like gross or old or something or broken.
[132] And then I do like a two -month pile.
[133] And that's where like, that's usually for like clothes or shoes when people are like, I don't know if I want to get rid of this yet, but I don't really need it.
[134] So we put it in like a like a bag, an IKEA bag, put it under the bed.
[135] And I have them set like a two -month date on their phone calendar.
[136] And when that goes off, it's like, go check that.
[137] If you didn't miss any of that stuff, donate it.
[138] Oh.
[139] Yeah.
[140] Here's a one rule I heard is if you can look at something and you haven't worn it for a year, it should go.
[141] And I have the same rule with people.
[142] Oh, no. Yeah, and relatives.
[143] If I haven't spoken to the, yeah, people in my life.
[144] One of my brothers, we haven't, you know, just, and there's nothing personal.
[145] We just are both busy.
[146] We haven't really talked.
[147] And it's been, it's been almost a year.
[148] And if we get to a year, I'll never speak to him again.
[149] He's out of my life.
[150] It's harsh, but okay.
[151] No, you know, and, and guess what?
[152] I'm fond of him, and he's a really good guy.
[153] Yeah.
[154] But it's just been a while.
[155] It's been almost, it's been about 11 months and probably 11 months and two weeks.
[156] So, um.
[157] But who's counting?
[158] Yeah.
[159] But if it, if two more weeks go by, it's, uh, you know, I'll never speak to Justin again.
[160] That's it.
[161] You've got two other ones.
[162] That's fine.
[163] Yeah, exactly.
[164] And guess what?
[165] Justin may be my favorite of all of them.
[166] So that, it's tragic, but I, yeah, and for me. He's actually, I don't think it sucks for him.
[167] It sucks for me because he's a wonderful person.
[168] He's great, he's got to, I like his.
[169] Why don't you reach out to him?
[170] Because I set up this rule.
[171] He's been avoiding you for, for a year, so this could happen.
[172] Maybe he planned this out.
[173] I think he planned it out.
[174] Several times I've called him to say hi, and someone's picked up the phone who sounded like Justin.
[175] And then when I say, hey, it's Conan, they quit.
[176] It sounds to me like their voice changes, and suddenly it's this Greek, an old Greek man saying that Mr. Justin is not here.
[177] And I'm like, who are you?
[178] And he's like, I fish for the fish in the sea.
[179] I am the fisherman.
[180] And then he hangs up.
[181] Do you think it's possible that that's Justin?
[182] Yeah, you're being reverse catfish.
[183] You're being fish cated.
[184] I know.
[185] I'm the first person to be reverse catfished in this modern era.
[186] And guess what?
[187] It happens a lot.
[188] I talk to a lot of people who I call, and I just want to connect to them, like, you know, be like my old writing partner, Greg Daniels, and be like, hey, Greg, how you doing?
[189] And it sounds like Greg, but once I identify myself, suddenly he's Portuguese and he sells pans for a living.
[190] I didn't know you could do this.
[191] I'm going to have to implement some changes.
[192] Yeah, the next time I try and talk to Matt.
[193] I'm just going to come onto this podcast in a mustache.
[194] Who are you going to be when I call you, Matt?
[195] And I say, hey, Matt, it's me, it's Conan.
[196] Oh, okay, well, I'm sorry, but when Matt does come by, could you tell him that Conan called?
[197] No, no, how you're your name?
[198] Okay, all right, well, very good.
[199] I'll try and call Sona now.
[200] Hey, Sona, how are you?
[201] It's Conan.
[202] Let's chat.
[203] Oh, Sonan host ches, Sonan Kanat.
[204] Uri's style with Kanat.
[205] Yeah.
[206] Sonan, and I love his host chain.
[207] Is that Armenian, or are you doing an impression of Andy Kaufman as Latka?
[208] Or are you running a tape backwards?
[209] Yeah.
[210] Those were actual real Armenian words.
[211] Thank you very much.
[212] Yeah, I actually used my Armenian for the first of it.
[213] You just said, please, may I have more dried and pressed apricot?
[214] Okay.
[215] Oh, I'm sorry.
[216] Or did you say dried or pressed pomegranate?
[217] I'm sorry, I was offered two things while I was there for dessert, and that was it.
[218] They both.
[219] You're actually, you're right.
[220] That's pretty much all the dessert we have.
[221] I was like, what do you have for dessert?
[222] This is when I took Sonador Armenia, both times.
[223] And I loved it there.
[224] I loved the Armenian people.
[225] But eh, vinche pass he, clavem.
[226] But both times I was, uh, okay, let's look at that dessert menu.
[227] And they would say, what menu?
[228] Yeah.
[229] You can have a dried pressed apricot or a dried pressed pomegranate.
[230] Yeah, that's it.
[231] And I wonder why anybody would avoid you for a year.
[232] Um, I don't know.
[233] It sounds like you've got the tiki bar.
[234] Yeah.
[235] We've got the organizing business.
[236] So what would you do if you were organizing my life?
[237] I mean, I don't know that you can even tell how I live, Rebecca, but what do you think?
[238] I think it would.
[239] So usually when I like, so I do a lot of, I do like half organizing, half like decorating and designing.
[240] Oh, decorating.
[241] Okay, good.
[242] I've also recently painted a mural because I like to do art too.
[243] So I just keep adding all these services.
[244] Yeah, it's a little, I'm a little.
[245] a little overwhelmed with it, but I like to do a lot of things.
[246] But I don't know.
[247] Maybe I would like check out your artwork and see if I could like make a cool gallery wall of like a bunch of different pictures of your face or something.
[248] I don't know.
[249] Well, yeah, Sona will tell you that if there's one thing I don't need, it's more representations of me, you know.
[250] I'm like, it's like 1948 and I'm Stalin and I'm just driving through Moscow.
[251] All I see are massive paintings of Comrade Stalin.
[252] That's what it's like to be in my life.
[253] Now, when we were doing our, we wrapped up our late night show after all these years, but before that, Sona, this is, you'll testify to this.
[254] Yes.
[255] It was, you couldn't, every single square inch of wall was either photos of shows that we had done in big venues or posters or fan art, tons of fan art that was.
[256] So much fan art. I'll say the first time I came in for a podcast recording, I walked down the studio hall and there's all these statues of you and posters.
[257] And I just went, what if I got myself into?
[258] Am I joining a cult?
[259] The giant bobblehead that's like 30 feet tall.
[260] I don't even know how.
[261] There's a Lego statue of him.
[262] Yeah.
[263] Yeah.
[264] No, a lot of it was, I have to say, a lot of it was really cool stuff.
[265] It was fan art. But I did feel like a Batman villain.
[266] walking around in his lair because it was insanity.
[267] And it was too much?
[268] Well, no, I'm going to say it wasn't enough.
[269] Oh, oh.
[270] I thought it was, no, no, no. You misread me, Rebecca.
[271] Oh, my gosh, my bad.
[272] I thought it was absolutely amazing.
[273] And I have to say, you know, it's funny because in my house that I live in, we don't, there's, you know, I, I, I, live here with my wife and my children.
[274] And so we have very, there's just regular nice things on the wall that have nothing to do with me. But then if you come into my study where I work and where I'm podcasting right now, yeah, it's all pictures from, I mean, stuff that was special to me, but I'm usually in the picture with one of my heroes.
[275] Do you know what I mean?
[276] Yeah.
[277] But my daughter came in here the other day and she went, yeah, this is sick.
[278] I was like, okay, I know, but it's just one room and, you know, yeah, it's, so yeah, you may, you may actually, when you decorate my space, which you will, this will come to pass.
[279] You just let me. You are probably going to be saying, at least in the study, either less Conan or much more Conan, because you can't, you got to go one way or the other.
[280] The question is, would you look at a picture of yourself and you ask yourself, does this spark joy?
[281] Yeah.
[282] Well, all I notice is that in all the pictures of me, there's no joy coming out of my face.
[283] So why would a picture of me joyless spark joy?
[284] So that was, yeah, that's, so I don't know, we'll figure it out.
[285] We'll figure it out.
[286] You know what we'll do?
[287] What we'll do is we'll combine your talents.
[288] You'll make us some killer rum drinks.
[289] And I'm going to want, I'm going to want Sona here.
[290] And Matt, you're invited as well.
[291] That seemed like an ad on.
[292] I know.
[293] I knew exactly what I was doing.
[294] No, no, of course.
[295] Sona and Matt will be here.
[296] And you'll make us some rum drinks, I hope.
[297] And then you'll look at the wall and you'll say, I don't see enough, Conan.
[298] in this den.
[299] I think there should be more Conan.
[300] Yeah, and then we're just going to, maybe we all have a canvas and we all make something.
[301] We can all contribute.
[302] I just thought of an idea for my yard, see if this is too much.
[303] I love an equestrian statue.
[304] I think they're really cool.
[305] What I'd like is an equestrian statue bronze on a pedestal that's maybe 25 feet high.
[306] That's too crazy, 20 feet high.
[307] That makes sense.
[308] But it's me wearing a sort of 19th century military uniform.
[309] Oh, no. And I'm riding on a horse, but here's the catch.
[310] The horse's head is my head.
[311] And are you also you?
[312] So I'm still me. I'm me. And then the horse's head, because I'm that self -involved, the horse's head is more, the horse has a horse's body, and then it morphs into my head.
[313] So it's me riding a horse with my head.
[314] head.
[315] That was a plot twist.
[316] And guess what?
[317] I'll pay, I'll pay any price.
[318] As long as it's under $1 ,800.
[319] That's my ceiling.
[320] I can't wait to see what you'd get for $1 ,800.
[321] And it's got to be real bronze or tinfoil, whatever comes first.
[322] Rebecca, did you have a question for me or?
[323] You kind of answered it a little bit.
[324] I bet I did.
[325] I talk a lot.
[326] The statue, the statue you answered it.
[327] Yeah, you answered it.
[328] So you were going to say, what would I, what item am I looking for in my life?
[329] Um, I, I, I, yes, you already answered it.
[330] Um, I was just wondering, like, because I, with a lot of my clients, I'll make them, or I will donate something or throw it out.
[331] I guess I was just wondering, like, what do you do with things you don't want anymore?
[332] Do you donate it?
[333] Is someone walking around in your clothes somewhere?
[334] Actually, yes.
[335] Uh, I, I, I, No, I honestly do.
[336] An honest answer is I love giving thanks to people I know.
[337] And also, there are all these places now where you can donate clothing.
[338] And it's nice.
[339] It's nice to think that this, okay, I'm not wearing this anymore, but someone else will be wearing it.
[340] So, yeah, somewhere out there is someone walking around, probably who doesn't speak English, who's wearing a Conan Rocks T -shirt that I had made.
[341] and they don't realize what a horrible, what the shirt says.
[342] That's the only reason they're wearing it.
[343] The minute they meet a friend who does, is fluent in English, you know, they're just, they've just come from like, you know, I don't know where they've come from.
[344] They've come from the Netherlands, and they're wearing a Conan Rocks T -shirt.
[345] But the minute they meet someone who explains to them what that means, they will remove the shirt and destroy it.
[346] Or maybe they'll donate it to someone else.
[347] No, they'll destroy it.
[348] But Rebecca, you're a very, very cool person, and I love how you're clearly multi -talented and you have tons of energy and we're lucky to have you as a fan, seriously.
[349] Thank you so much.
[350] This was the best Friday I think I've ever had, so.
[351] Oh.
[352] Wow.
[353] Wow.
[354] Why did you limit it just a Friday?
[355] I mean.
[356] Because I've had other good days.
[357] Oh, my God.
[358] What's wrong with it being the best day?
[359] of your life.
[360] Why did it have to be Friday?
[361] No. Just take the compliment.
[362] How about?
[363] Thank you.
[364] What you don't know is she has to live in a dungeon every Friday.
[365] Yeah.
[366] All her life, Friday is the day that she's tortured.
[367] I got to come out to do this podcast.
[368] It's for the great.
[369] I'm glad I'm glad we cleared that low bar.
[370] But Rebecca, so nice to meet you.
[371] You too.
[372] All of you.
[373] forward to crossing past with you in real life when I'm in Seattle next time.
[374] Come visit.
[375] We'll make you drinks.
[376] Oh, you had me at drinks.
[377] Great.
[378] The last word.
[379] Last word.
[380] The last word.
[381] I know.
[382] I wasn't listening to you until I heard drinks.
[383] When I said you had me at drinks, what I meant was I totally wasn't listening to you.
[384] It was like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, drinks.
[385] And I was like, drinks.
[386] That's the equivalent of you had me at goodbye.
[387] You had me at the end.
[388] All right, Rebecca, take care.
[389] Thank you, guys.
[390] Bye.
[391] Conan O 'Brien needs a fan.
[392] With Conan O 'Brien, Sonam of Sessian, and Matt Goreley.
[393] Produced by me, Matt Goreley.
[394] Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Joanna Solitaireoff, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson at Earwolf.
[395] Music by Jimmy Vivino.
[396] Supervising producer Aaron Blaird.
[397] Associate Talent Producer, Jennifer Samples, associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm, engineered by Will Bechton.
[398] Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.
[399] This has been a team Coco production in association with Stitcher.