105 - Proclensity

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Hey, this is exciting.

[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[5] Who killed Saz?

[6] And were they really after Charles?

[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[8] This season, murder hits close to home.

[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[14] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[15] Goodbye.

[16] Wake up.

[17] Hello.

[18] Good morning.

[19] Good morning and welcome.

[20] to your favorite morning talk show my favorite murder the morning talk show that screams in your face to wake you up get down get down get up get up get up get up get down get back down get back up again and then you're like what what do they want for me we want just we want just a couple crunches easy yeah simple just to wake you up fun fun and easy get the blood going yeah burpees you fucking start burping What if burpees were not an exercise but just belching I would be a fucking Olympian You absolutely would You'd be internationally known Are burpees the ones where you jump up and go down into a push -up and jump up Because I was thinking of herkeys Which is a cheerleading jump Where you kind of look like a check You turn your body to like a check mark.

[21] Check.

[22] And I was going to be like, wouldn't be great at it.

[23] It's such a pain.

[24] Oh, and you mean your legs go forward?

[25] Check.

[26] One leg is straight out.

[27] Uh -huh.

[28] And then the other leg comes up in.

[29] Your knee comes to your chest.

[30] Don't do that.

[31] That's just back problems for your life.

[32] It's like this, but in the air.

[33] Okay.

[34] Take it from me. Everyone at home, I'm way up in the air.

[35] She just showed me one in the middle of the living room.

[36] Also, what am I talking about?

[37] I don't fucking know technically what a, herky is like you're a cheerleader it's like i'm trying to get people to email us about things i was a cheerleader by the way oh my god i was a song leader junior year of high school oh my god those were the ones that like did routine well we were a small school so we only had a certain amount of people anyway but you know we did dance routines to janet jackson's control sure it's all about control it's all about control that's the only one i remember um just that we had you know gloves that were white on the inside and blue on the outside.

[38] What?

[39] You're like blowing my mind.

[40] So then you do a lot of this and you switch it.

[41] Like a clown.

[42] White to blue.

[43] Like a mine, but but a white to blue.

[44] White blue, white blue.

[45] Oh, I'm like like, and then one is this one is this way.

[46] So it's white blue.

[47] That's right.

[48] Then change it up.

[49] And then boom.

[50] And then change it out.

[51] Five, six, seven, eight.

[52] And change it up.

[53] And then this is my favorite murder.

[54] Put your gloves up by your face.

[55] Are they white?

[56] are they blue okay this is one of my favorite parts about having this podcast is i get random texts from my beautiful friends who listen to it who take the time to listen to it oh wow and then but they're they sometimes can be months behind so the other day my beautiful friend sam pancake that's his real name who is who plays dorothy in the live golden girls that i told you about and love so much i have the mug thank you for being a cunt that you got me it's still like cassita Del Campo.

[57] They started a new run of it.

[58] It's amazing.

[59] You really should go.

[60] But he sent me a text and all it said was fingers and faces.

[61] And it made me up so hard.

[62] Fingers and faces.

[63] The best beauty shop name.

[64] The best worst beauty shop name of all time.

[65] Ever heard of.

[66] Just cut to the basics.

[67] Fingers and faces from the live Orlando show.

[68] Blue, butter.

[69] Remember when we worked the live Orlando show?

[70] And I'm sitting there reading my whatever.

[71] One of us is reading a murder and I just see in the audience whatever fucking production had happened the night before maybe it was who could it have been let's say someone like not too big not too small but so you've heard of them maybe um let's see it could have been you know it could have been at like um who's the you might as well be walking on the sun smash smell thank you Stephen maybe it was smash mouth you might as well be walking on the sun for all the good it'll do you you might Might as well.

[72] Might as well.

[73] One sad fucking confetti piece that had been sitting there since the night before slowly falls into this lovely lady's lap in the front row.

[74] That's right.

[75] I was just like, it's like she was blessed.

[76] Or she's dead.

[77] I don't know.

[78] I mean, it could have been the death confetti.

[79] It could have been the death confetti.

[80] It could have been so many things.

[81] Dottie.

[82] What's, is Dottie arranging papers upstairs?

[83] Daddy's digging, uh, it's an inanimate object.

[84] Dottie.

[85] You go for it.

[86] You've been sedentary all day.

[87] The joy, okay, you can cut that.

[88] The joy of kittens.

[89] The joy of kittens.

[90] Joy, fuck, sex.

[91] The joy of kittens.

[92] That's the illustrated book you need to be reading.

[93] Do you know, I have the joy of sex.

[94] I have an old copy.

[95] I'm trying to use books around.

[96] I was like, well, I'm absolutely buying this.

[97] Does that mean, but did anybody write in it?

[98] I don't know.

[99] Do they write in it?

[100] I mean, that's the first thing I would look for is like somebody folded up a piece of paper and stuck it inside.

[101] I'm like, try this.

[102] Try this.

[103] Maybe Gary will love you now.

[104] Gary to please do this all I know is that we got me and my friend Katie Newberger who lived down the street she's the one who's family had llamas and they had the old abandoned house on their property oh yeah yeah yeah yeah I believe I'm almost positive it was at her house that we look through that book because her mom was also a nurse and it was so we were starting to look at it like ooh yeah and the illustrations are so technical and like anatomical that we got bummed out very quickly.

[105] It's not interesting.

[106] Maybe we should just go swimming instead.

[107] It's like, and I said this last week, I talked about Reductress and their hilarious T -shirts, but they have one that's like, you know, and you see like a cow and it shows you the cuts of beef.

[108] There's one that's a vagina and it says the cuts of vagina.

[109] Oh, no. And this is just like the cuts.

[110] It's just in that style.

[111] That's hilarious.

[112] I just saw one of theirs on Twitter and it said, girl who promised not to tell anybody, told two people and then it's it the picture is so funny because it's a girl whose face is right next to a bunch of flowers like she's all smiling a little proud that's me what about what about bitch uh this bitch brought loose leaf tea to a fucking food donation it's just like some fuck you can tell this bitch is like some hippie bitch who doesn't wear makeup because she's gorgeous not because yeah yeah this bitch loose leaf tea uh what about where did i come from do you remember that book oh yes dude with the fucking guy who looks like george kis Costanza and his wife.

[113] Actually, it looks like George Costanza's parents.

[114] And it's showing them having a baby.

[115] And my mind was blown.

[116] Well, what about the part?

[117] There is a part where they're explaining to their child about sex.

[118] And it's like, they basically say they rub on each other really fast or something.

[119] And I just remember staring.

[120] Steven's going to have a nervous point out.

[121] Steven can't talk about sex.

[122] I don't know what that is.

[123] Well, I'll tell you.

[124] It's when two fat little cartoons rub against each other.

[125] It was very, like, I remember staring at it and just being like, it can't be this.

[126] Yeah, sex isn't just friction, right?

[127] It can't be this.

[128] Just this little man. Oh, yeah.

[129] It was very confusing.

[130] It was a confusing time, the 80s.

[131] The 80s and that age and like before you know and then what you think you know and then when you find out.

[132] And how funny it is, but you still can't get rid of the things you thought you knew.

[133] So it is still a little that.

[134] And the thing I thought I knew is God can see.

[135] me and it's wrong.

[136] God can see you, but he's into it.

[137] What?

[138] Sorry, blasphemy.

[139] Is that what they're teaching in the temple?

[140] God damn it.

[141] Shit.

[142] I'm going to hell.

[143] Is there hell?

[144] I'm going there.

[145] You don't think there's hell.

[146] Goodbye.

[147] No. There's something.

[148] Bye hell.

[149] Goodbye hell.

[150] See you.

[151] Deuce is hell.

[152] Peace out, motherfucker.

[153] What do you have that sweet to talk about?

[154] Let's see.

[155] Besides friction, friction.

[156] friction of sex.

[157] Besides describing sex cartoons from the 70s.

[158] Well, this is a great email we got.

[159] Hi, ladies.

[160] This is from Aaron.

[161] Hi, ladies.

[162] I was at the second Belboa theater show back in October.

[163] That's San Diego, right?

[164] And was happy to get a chance to listen to that first show that was recently posted.

[165] Oh, it's not fun.

[166] Of course, I do immediately Google the Betty Broderick Murder House.

[167] It's right down the street from me and up for sale.

[168] Some great realtors spin to, quote, a home rich in history shut up because you have to tell right it says have $2 .5 million dollars lying around $2 .5 million dollars live in San Diego house yeah and then she listed it I could say the address right because it's an empty house yeah I mean like or just say what street it's on it's on Cypress Avenue oh where Van Morrison lives that's a deep cut yeah wow that's kind of hilarious would you move into a place if like murders had happened there would you care like would you take have pause and ask your girlfriends over drinks or like would you be cool with it I think it just depends on the house like if it I think you'd have I would have to go in and like feel it out but if it was some really old house yeah I don't know let's say like in the 80s or 90s even there was a murder even the 2000s heard of them I want to you know what I'm being cavalier right now because I want to say I would, but I just thought of the first night in that house.

[169] And I would just be out of my mind.

[170] I feel like I would be fine, but I bet I wouldn't.

[171] Any noise you heard, though.

[172] But I don't care.

[173] I don't hear that.

[174] Do you, I mean, alone in the house.

[175] I mean, anything.

[176] I feel like Vince would be more creeped out than I would, and I would pretend that I was saying no to the house on his behalf, but really it would be because I was freaked out too, but I couldn't admit it because I have a murder podcast.

[177] Yes, that's right.

[178] You have to use him as a human shield.

[179] And you can.

[180] Always.

[181] And he can use me whenever he wants.

[182] When he hates wrestling and can't talk about it.

[183] He's really painted himself into a wrestling corner.

[184] He asked to love it for the rest of his life.

[185] There is no fucking doubt in my mind that that person Vince Averall, the love of my life, will love wrestling for the rest of his life.

[186] He's going to two shows in the next two days.

[187] Is you really?

[188] Yeah.

[189] It's, there's no worry.

[190] You know what's really hilarious?

[191] So many people that I follow on Twitter love wrestling that I, I feel like I have a good historical backlog knowledge of I mean people post stuff you should start your own wrestling podcast yeah you know what I will I'm gonna call it my favorite wrestling podcast I went home after our last recording and watched the end of the fucking world dude on Netflix it's such a good you have to watch it it's everything Georgia said it was and more it's I binged it all at once it reminded I forgot to mention that thing so I was saying Wes Anderson Harold and Maud my friend Dahmer almost a little bit.

[192] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[193] It's just so gorgeous.

[194] It's really well done.

[195] It's just those Brits, they know how to do some storytelling and some character development.

[196] And the dry humor.

[197] Yes.

[198] Oh, it's so good.

[199] But those kids are such good actors.

[200] Amazing.

[201] Such, uh, I never want to watch teens do anything in these teens were the exception.

[202] They were so, it's such a good show.

[203] Yeah.

[204] Watch it.

[205] The end of the fucking world.

[206] Um, she that kid whose dad was like, my son's missing and the cops were like, he's probably a runaway and then I was like fuck that shit and hired a fucking helicopter and found his kids crashed in a car in a ravine so alive 30 hours later shit so like a couple of his kids were trapped in the car no it's just his son by himself yeah fucking found in the helicopter search search found the kid crashed in a fucking ravine still alive 30 hours later he's like holy shit this kid's not a fucking runaway I thought you were gonna mention the um alive still alive the kid was found alive yes he survived yeah he survived I thought you were going to talk about the three kids that escaped the house in Riverside County.

[207] Oh, Jesus.

[208] That were 12, like, children between the ages of 9 and 27 chained to a wall.

[209] It was like 14 kids.

[210] Yes, and they're so emaciated, they couldn't tell how old they were.

[211] In Riverside.

[212] And also the, my friend Karen Anderson's the one who told me to look at it.

[213] And she goes, the dad is so upsetting.

[214] It looks like Jeff Daniels and dumber, dumb and dumber.

[215] Oh, no. And he totally has the weirdest bangs, like, page boy haircut.

[216] It's very disturbing.

[217] The parents look very problematic.

[218] Yeah.

[219] And have proven to be.

[220] Right.

[221] Those poor children.

[222] Like, to be able to still in prison a 27 -year -old means you've had some fucking lifelong conditioning of this poor kid.

[223] I'll tell you that when a kid knocked on their door, I bet you, this is my theory.

[224] A kid going around trying to sell.

[225] magazines or something and knocked on that door whoever opened that door whatever the smell was that kid was like sorry i forgot something on my bike and ran away like don't don't you think a house like that it would just be like like one weird candle in the in the background and everything else is dark how many yeah or did they have the perfect veneer and like no one could tell yeah probably not you got to lose i mean you can't you got to lose that veneer after a few kids after the 11th child just chained to the wall?

[226] Yeah.

[227] Jesus Christ.

[228] Okay.

[229] All right.

[230] Hey, this is exciting.

[231] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[232] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

[233] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[234] Who killed Saz?

[235] And were they really after Charles?

[236] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[237] This season, murder hits close to home.

[238] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[239] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast.

[240] into a major movie.

[241] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[242] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[243] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, Devine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[244] Only Martyrs in the building premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[245] Goodbye.

[246] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[247] Absolutely.

[248] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash.

[249] Exactly.

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[262] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.

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[264] That Shopify dot com slash murder goodbye you're first this week I guess I am yeah is that correct yeah you were first last week okay okay so I have been on my couch I sprained my ankle on Sunday tell everyone I saw the bruise it's fucked up it's I rolled my ankle I've already sprained both my ankles twice I don't find talking about medical problems interesting at all but But this was kind of great because I was walking my dogs with my friend Don.

[265] He said, hey, did they redo that house?

[266] I look over my shoulder like it's a genotype commercial, walking the dog one direction, but looking backwards.

[267] And I'm like, that house over there and just step like on the edge of the cement where the cement meets the grass, roll my ankle, listen to it snap.

[268] My friend, Don, who was behind me, said it turned at a 90 degree angle.

[269] And then I went down, he said it looked like, I looked like a stunt woman.

[270] I went like, I went down like hand, hip leg.

[271] Yeah.

[272] Like in a perfect line.

[273] He really liked it.

[274] But it, I knew immediately that it was bad.

[275] Yeah.

[276] And so I just got up and went in and kept it like, couch, goodbye.

[277] Yes.

[278] Elevated, iced, whatever.

[279] So tonight is the first night I've gone out and like driven.

[280] Oh, no. It was fine.

[281] If it's, if I keep it like, you know.

[282] Yeah.

[283] Wrapped in static.

[284] So you've had a long time to study your murder.

[285] I just got really caught up in telling that whole story.

[286] I'm like, oh yeah, that's right.

[287] I'm trying to talk about this.

[288] So I've been laying in front on the couch.

[289] Now, I'm talking about that as if...

[290] Kind of a dream.

[291] What?

[292] It's kind of a dream.

[293] Well, also, I do it anyway.

[294] What I realized is this sprained ankle just made me go, you have to stop living like your ankle is sprained all the time.

[295] You have to stop it.

[296] So once your ankle is not sprained, start living.

[297] Leave the house.

[298] go ahead and walk somewhere because you know what I guarantee they'll be spraying ankles in the future where you're going to be like I wish I had lived my life outside of this yes I always would know that I'd be back here at some point enjoying a sprained ankle the couch is forever you might as well get up and move around well you can and I feel like my body because I'm so indignant and I'm so like defiance disorder based yeah I feel like my body has to sprain my ankle like every eight months just to be like Up off the couch now.

[299] Or get you really sick to be like, wouldn't you love to not be here right now in that fucking couch?

[300] Stop living like you're sick and all of your joints don't work.

[301] Okay.

[302] But since I was.

[303] There is a Netflix movie called Murder on the Cape.

[304] I don't know if you've seen it.

[305] It, of course, immediately came up when it went on to Netflix in my suggestions.

[306] Netflix knows us.

[307] What's amazing about it because I was, and I think you and I talked about this a little bit, but I got really addicted to those Hallmark Christmas movies over Christmas because my sister kept putting them on as a joke, but then we'd watch them for real.

[308] I love that.

[309] That's like what Christmas is for.

[310] It is, right?

[311] Because you get like some hot chocolate, we're all sitting on the couch, and then it's just...

[312] Make fun of TV.

[313] It's blather.

[314] Yeah.

[315] It's a guy in a huge sweater, pretending he works at a Christmas tree farm.

[316] Right.

[317] But really.

[318] And it's always then it's like, oh, she's really smart and type A, but she had to come to this small town to do something.

[319] So, okay.

[320] So I see murder on the cape and I'm like, that doesn't look like an actual movie.

[321] And it doesn't look good.

[322] And I'm like, and also I wonder which murder on which cape this is.

[323] It checked all your boxes.

[324] What's the thing?

[325] It hurtked all your boxes.

[326] It herkeyed right into all my boxes.

[327] But so I looked it up online first before I actually, I didn't want to watch it cold.

[328] I didn't want to waste my time.

[329] And the first thing that came, up was an article on Decider, the website Decider, called, and the headline was Murder on the Cape is a bonkers crime story based on a true story.

[330] So they had already watched it and reviewed it and were like, this thing is like the room, basically.

[331] So I stopped reading that article because I didn't want to, like, in case I had some of the same thoughts, I want to say that I just read the headline.

[332] And then at the beginning of the description, I was like, okay, I'm not plagiarizing this.

[333] The word bonkers is amazing.

[334] Bonkers is my favorite word.

[335] Why isn't they used more?

[336] It's so funny.

[337] My friend Eric Dodurian on Twitter changed his name to Linda K. Bonkers, and I laugh every time I see it.

[338] Okay.

[339] So this, and I highly recommend that you do your substance of choice, and that can be the Bible.

[340] It can be a glass of water.

[341] But do something to get yourself in the mood to accept what the television is giving you.

[342] pour a glass of water on the Bible.

[343] That could be your thing.

[344] And then light it on fire.

[345] But what you should do is get some white wine or ginger ale and Southern Comfort.

[346] Okay.

[347] How about some Malibu coconut liqueur?

[348] Okay.

[349] And a Fanta.

[350] Okay.

[351] Lime.

[352] Okay.

[353] Got it.

[354] Fanta lime and some.

[355] And then a twist a lemon.

[356] Whatever it needs to be.

[357] Karen's just talking about.

[358] her deathbed wish.

[359] That seriously, I'm like, make me a grasshopper.

[360] I almost had, when the Hawaiian nuclear strike thing came to her, I was like, I mean, I might as well just, it's really bad.

[361] But anyway, point being, I mean, we all get it.

[362] Right?

[363] Yeah.

[364] I'm going to be back on that or off that wagon the second I have a valid governmental reason.

[365] The minute it happens, I'm going to come over.

[366] and be like, hey, what's you doing?

[367] With one of those huge bottles of champagne.

[368] Yeah, well, I'm not going to bring it.

[369] I'm going to let you, because I don't want to enable you.

[370] Oh, you're just going to discover me. Like, hey, hi, just wanted to check in on you.

[371] And then you're going to be like, that's weird.

[372] I guess I have champagne too.

[373] It's going to be a champagne party.

[374] Okay, so murder on the cape, the made for Netflix movie, is quite something.

[375] And I highly recommend you watch it.

[376] it is very much like the room meets a it's almost for me I would actually say more it's not so bad as the room but there are definitely actors where you say did you like acting before your friend decided to make this movie or is this something that was like you wanted to do that this weekend along with your friend who decided to make this movie there's a lot of people making big choices taking huge swings really going for it I could see in my mind's eye these actors going hey Chuck or whoever the director is I'm really going to go for it this time they're like this is what acting is ready yeah I'm gonna kick my leg and do a dance for some reason that doesn't actually connect with what my character's doing in the scene so that's cool the lead guy I feel like I saw somewhere that somebody in this movie was in a soap opera at some time.

[377] Oh, that makes sense.

[378] I didn't recognize anybody.

[379] Wow.

[380] And the story, the way the murder on the Cape story is told, is very much against the victim, in my opinion.

[381] It's very much making her look like, she tricked him and, like, and then I thought, oh, I should actually look this up and see if there's somebody that was in the real case that is connected with writing this movie.

[382] Ooh.

[383] Because it's just, Just median quality enough, so pretty much anyone could have written it.

[384] Fucking conspiracy theory on the Cape.

[385] I mean, you never know.

[386] You have to watch it.

[387] But she, it's like she tricked him into sleeping with her.

[388] And then she tricked him into getting her pregnant.

[389] And then she, and then, like, and she was a big flirt.

[390] Yeah.

[391] There's, it's a, it's a very problematic presentation.

[392] So then I looked up the actual story because I'm like, that story sounds familiar, but it is not look familiar in murder on the Cape.

[393] Right.

[394] And granted that they open it up by saying this is based on a true story, but I don't think they claim it is exact.

[395] Okay.

[396] Okay.

[397] So here's the real story.

[398] Okay.

[399] And then you can hear this story, process it and the horror of it, then, like, clear your palate and then go back and watch that thing as its own separate thing.

[400] Pour your glass of water on the Bible and then go watch it.

[401] Click.

[402] Yeah.

[403] Turn that TV on.

[404] Okay.

[405] So this all takes place in a town called Truro, Massachusetts.

[406] which I reminded myself just, it's like you're saying churro with a T. So it's true.

[407] T, T, T, T -R -U -O, I believe.

[408] Oh, whatever.

[409] That's not it.

[410] Churro.

[411] That's not a word.

[412] The word is churro.

[413] I'm already mad at it.

[414] Okay, so it's 1997, and this is a tiny fishing village, basically, at the very top of Cape Cod.

[415] And it's busy in the summer, obviously, with vacationers, but in the winter, it's dead, and it's really cold.

[416] Okay.

[417] Except for all the fishermen and the families that live there, obviously.

[418] And a woman named Crystal Worthington moves there in 1997.

[419] She was a very successful, at the time, 40 -year -old fashion writer.

[420] She's written for L, Harper's, Women's Wear Daily, The New York Times.

[421] She's also co -authored books on fashion.

[422] She's a successful writer, and she had been writing, internationally she'd been doing stuff in Europe and basically living a very high stress kind of high fashion lifestyle yeah and so she wanted to get away from that and go up to the Cape so her family she came from a very prominent family and her family owned a lot of different houses and places in Truro she when she moved there she moved into a pink bungalow that was right next to the harbor masters she jack um and uh a couple months later she moved out of that and into a larger house that her family owned a really beautiful cottage um sign me up yeah it's i mean i looking at these places in there's a 48 hours that it one of the main ones i watched just a 48 hours eight hours all about it and they just keep showing clips of like a ship just kind of going around like along the coastline and like you know an icebreaker it's just like awesome looking however two weeks till you're bored out of your fucking mind i mean 20 bucks you know you got to have your netflix sure got maybe like some crossword puzzles you know wifi spotty out there yeah that's true that would make you nuts right you'd get you'd be getting on that jitney back into town a couple of a bunch of times there are jitney from messages i've never heard that word before so i couldn't tell you Jitney is a word I learned from my New York friends.

[423] They jump onto it to take, it's like a little bus that drives strictly to like the Hamptons or something from Manhattan.

[424] Or some like summer, it's the summertime Jitney.

[425] Okay.

[426] You go out to the beach.

[427] Okay.

[428] Yeah.

[429] All right.

[430] So on January 6th, 2002, 20 to 5 in the afternoon, a guy named.

[431] Tim Arnold, who is Krista Winnington's neighbor on the other side of the woods, dropped by her house to return a flashlight.

[432] And inside he finds her dead body.

[433] She's been stabbed on the left side of the chest.

[434] And she's on the kitchen floor.

[435] Her two -year -old daughter, Ava, is there next to her, clutching her.

[436] um two years old so yeah she's been with the body for a while um tim grabs up at eva and runs out calls 911 um police come they find that chris has been stabbed through the chest it the knife missed her heart it pierced her lung and she bled out on the kitchen floor oh my god um uh this murder is the first murder that truro has seen in 30 years so like nothing happens in this tiny town anyway and like nothing like this so of course everyone's freaking out and um you know they later on the defense lawyer will claim that the EMTs were sloppy and and um compromise the crime scene they did throw a blanket over Krista's body when they got there to cover her up um she'd been raped um and luckily the police did find DNA on her body that they ended up sending to the lab.

[437] Okay.

[438] So they knew that there was somebody else's DNA on the body and that could be a good lead.

[439] Unfortunately, the lab was insanely backed up.

[440] It was 1997.

[441] So this was like, you know, so they start talking to the people in Christ's life.

[442] They talked to Tim Arnold, the neighbor.

[443] They find out he wasn't just her neighbor.

[444] He was also her ex -boyfriend.

[445] They dated for about a year.

[446] He says he has nothing to do with her death.

[447] then in talking to her friends they find out that Ava's father is a married man who was born and raised in Truro and his name is Tony Jacket What the fuck?

[448] Why do we keep getting these names?

[449] Jesus.

[450] Now it does have two T's but I mean that's right on par with Jimmy Buttons in terms of a noun name.

[451] Buttons, Jacket, there's an onion.

[452] I mean, it just is, if this was writing, it would be lazy, but it's not, it's just how it happens.

[453] So it turns out Tony Jacket, he's lived into her all his life.

[454] I'm only getting to call him Tony Jacket the whole time.

[455] And he has six kids, he's married, but, and this is in the 48 hours and by his own account, he saw Krista when she moved into that pink bungalow right by the Harbor Master Shack, because he was working there as the fish.

[456] warden in the 48 hours he calls himself the fishing warden an article i found on abc news dot com referred to him and i'm not joking oh as the shellfish constable what the fuck no i don't know if that writer for abc news dot com was bored and just being funny or just reading cartoons it sounds like a cartoon or or pitching an idea for sponge bob square pants episode yes where the shellfish constable rolls into town you know the same thought But if that's a cartoon name.

[457] It totally is.

[458] In the movie, the Netflix film Murder on the Cape, the character that plays Tony Jacket's character is very ashamed to be the shellfish constable.

[459] And he was, I think, a contractor and he couldn't get work.

[460] And so this was his way of like, because they were, you know, having financial, the family was having financial problems.

[461] He had six kids.

[462] Jesus, seriously.

[463] So he had to, you know, take the job.

[464] Anyway, as he's working as a shellfish constable, he sees Krista, this beautiful, very, you know, very fashionable, very, you know, all the pictures of her.

[465] She's just a gorgeous woman.

[466] And he's immediately, they immediately hit it off and are attracted to each other.

[467] So she's like this high society.

[468] He's his like gruff smelly, but kind of hot, local probably.

[469] Yes.

[470] He's very, he looks like he should have been like a third string character in the soprano.

[471] he has like big lips and squinty eyes and like combed back hair very kind of like mombo italiano i can't explain it got it and i'm not against it i'll say that um not judging like get yours get your c constable or whatever you're your shellfish constable italian piece d um okay so she when they first get together christa tells tony she can't have kids she's been told she can't have kids um they have their affair for a year um they end up breaking up in the film murder on the cape they make it look like she won't leave him alone and is like always trying to be in his business and finding him at the grocery store and stuff where i'm like prove that yeah it seems like she had plenty of dudes in her life and it wasn't like desperate for this one roman lettuce where else is she going to go and it's a tiny yeah truly tiny town right like i run into my fucking ex at the grocery store and this is fucking Los Angeles.

[472] For real.

[473] Maybe he's talking to me. I actually don't run into my accent.

[474] I have never run into anyone I didn't want to run into in this town.

[475] I swear and I why I have to knock on wood now.

[476] Knock on wood.

[477] Why would I ever say that out loud?

[478] I don't know.

[479] I just want like open the nightmare door basically.

[480] Ooh, next week's going to be fun when we talk about who you run into.

[481] Yeah.

[482] Oh, I better start wearing so much mascara.

[483] All of the makeup.

[484] constant constant makeup it'll be so different okay uh basically she comes to him and says i'm pregnant and it's your baby and he's like you told me you couldn't have babies and then she's like well it's miracle and that's why i'm keeping it i don't care what you say and i don't you don't need to be a part of it yeah and he's he said in the 48 hours he was like i was dumbfounded and he kind of thought she tricked him um but she goes on and has her life and starts to raise her bait her daughter, Ava, herself.

[485] But at some point, she asked Tony not only to pay child support, but she wants him to tell his wife that he has a daughter.

[486] So Tony actually ends up, Tony Jacket ends up telling his wife of like how many years of six kids and years that he had an affair and now he has this daughter.

[487] Jackets.

[488] The jackets The jackets come off.

[489] the jackets had to come off that night um so so basically his wife susan of course is very upset at first and live it at him but then it basically they all she ends up meeting christa and christa comes over for dinner and brings the baby oh no and they start to make it work susan susan herself tells the story in the 48 hours women are the best people women are just like this is a kid that is not going to like have her life be bad because of because of because of fucking jackets over here because of captain jacket that i fucking married oh man so so and she says she actually liked her um and basically amazing i know but but also susan provides tony's alibi he he was home with her the night of of christ's death okay so the police are like it's all a little weird yeah yeah um but then they also discover Christopher was having issues with her 72 year old father um they were you know as i said like this prominent family and apparently the 72 year old father um now had a 29 year old girlfriend her name was Elizabeth Porter um she had been a sex worker and she had been a heroin addict and now she had gotten her life together and she was dating the love of her life 72 year old dad you're embarrassing me And Krista was like, you are spending too much money on this woman.

[490] And then they cut in the 48 hours, they fucking do a hard cut to this woman Elizabeth Porter walking down like a courtroom thing.

[491] And she goes, y 'all like to take pictures of me, don't you?

[492] And she has like this insane cigarette voice.

[493] And she's just yelling at all the cameras at once.

[494] Oh, my God.

[495] Not handling her shit at all.

[496] So he wasn't like, no, I've met this classy dame.

[497] And listen, I'm not talking shit on her being a sex.

[498] worker or a heroin addict date sex worker and heroin addict but a 29 year old and a 72 year old don't belong together I mean you don't know any of the same references no you don't use any of the same emojis no or hair products or gifts or anything or you don't listen to the same podcast I mean overall the rule is don't date someone younger than your children yeah I'm mad at the dad dad for being a fucking creepazoid but I mean I know a lot of people that have had that happen where they're like, and now my stepmom's longer than me. That's just an like an obvious no. I know.

[499] I shouldn't say a lot of people.

[500] I know one person.

[501] That'd be great if you knew a lot of people.

[502] I know.

[503] I would be so impressed.

[504] These are the tiny ways I constantly lie.

[505] It just comes out as a lot of people and I'm like, just the one.

[506] But you're not hurting anyone because I'm like, cool, tell me. But so that was actually, they were like, well, this could actually be if she, because she was complaining of her father and basically saying stop spending money cut her off so then and you know so it it does become and it sounded like it was this thing where this is almost like a vacation town it's the elite the people with the money in the town and then the people who make the town go right and they all kind of hate each other i mean you it could it all could get real you know yeah that's versus them so the police are just like it can be anybody so they're thinking dad's girlfriend hired someone to to kill her maybe or they're just looking at that girlfriend that she doesn't have the best background and she would have reason to get rid of her to be like yeah yeah i want to keep my money source open god my dad is poor because i mean otherwise it does solve a lot of problems yeah no one's gonna date no 29 year old's gonna date unless they're in love with him and they have my fucking blessing and that's nice i know that would be nice then i'm happy money okay so um they good the police there's so much going on now and there's so many suspects the police go to the FBI to get help and to get a profile drawn up the profile that the FBI gives them doesn't help them it does they don't have anybody that matches it um finally a year after um chris's murder lab results come back and they find out the DNA that they found on her body doesn't match any of these suspects so none of these ex -boyfriends not nobody and they're like what the fuck so they have to start all over again so what they just decide to do is ask for the DNA of every man who lives in true holy shit and there's a reporter in this 40 hours who was like the reporter from day one it was told his whole story yeah and he was like well then that was just crazy and then it's just you clearly they have nothing and they're just like trying to do whatever but how many men are we talking um I don't know offhand sorry I shouldn't I would normally I would have lied but I caught myself.

[507] Let's say 1 ,500.

[508] Let's just go ahead with 15 ,000 because it's fun and it's a, it's a good number.

[509] It's a really small town.

[510] Okay.

[511] Let's say 200.

[512] Okay.

[513] Let's say between 200 and 9 ,000.

[514] Great.

[515] Okay.

[516] So two and a half years later, the DA Michael O 'Keefe announces they've gotten a matchback from the DNA.

[517] And some idiot killer gave them their DNA.

[518] well yes and it leads to the arrest of a suspect named Christopher McGowan he is her garbage man so police first bring him in for questioning the police say do you know Krista Worthington he says no I just know she's a stop on my on my garbage route but I've never met her and I don't know her and they say okay well we found your DNA on her body now what do you have to say and he says well actually i went to her house um on thursday which is the day that he his he picks up the garbage at her house and then i went inside and we had consensual sex um and then uh he he says he went back friday had sex with her then beat her but his friend jeremy fraser was there his friend jeremy fraser started beating her up and then he left and jeremy fraser is the one that stayed and killed her.

[519] What?

[520] Well, the police are like, well, that's a great story except for Jeremy Frey, your friend, Jeremy Frazier, your good friend that you're setting up for this murder.

[521] None of his DNA is anywhere in the house.

[522] And there's no way to prove that he was ever anywhere there.

[523] Oh, my God.

[524] And so then basically, after a six -hour interrogation, he signs a waiver that says he doesn't want a lawyer, and then he confesses to the murder.

[525] So.

[526] This guy does?

[527] The same guy.

[528] Christopher McGowan, the garbage man. okay so basically the prosecution that so the trial starts the prosecution tells everybody that Christopher McGowan went out uh with his friend Jeremy Fraser and they got drunk um and then at 1 a .m he drives up to her house rapes her and kills her but Christopher McGowan's defense attorney is a guy named Bob George he claims Krista had consensual sex with McGowan on Thursday the day he brought he picked up the garbage um then he left and that her murder took place somewhere between thursday and then when her body was found on sunday and that it his client had nothing to do with it god damn it um he also suggested that christopher mcgowan and christworthington could have been having a consensual affair for a while and that it was just the elitists of this town that didn't believe that a white woman, um, who is this fancy fashion writer, could be having a consensual affair with a black man who was the garbage man. Um, uh, he also submitted that McGowan's IQ was in the low 70s.

[529] And so that's why he, he waived the right for the lawyer.

[530] He didn't have, he had no chance once he was in the police, but he basically said, but then, you know, so he's basically saying his IQ is really low.

[531] Um, So he was tricked into all of this, and he's just basically the perfect Patsy.

[532] Well, then the prosecution comes back and says he's smart enough to have lied to say he didn't know her.

[533] You know, there's like a lot of evasion tactics or whatever.

[534] So he clearly is not, just because he didn't score well on an IQ test doesn't mean that he isn't tricky and doing whatever he wants.

[535] The defense also alleges that the crime scene was totally contaminated by sloppy EMTs because those EMTs came and put a blanket on Chris's body when they first saw her.

[536] And so the DNA, who knows whose DNA was on that blanket, whatever.

[537] They kind of just keep introducing reasons to doubt.

[538] So Krista had an ex -boyfriend who lived in Manhattan, who was in this 48 hours, who says, if Krista was having an affair with the Garbage Man, because he had visited her two weeks before her murder, and he said that would have been the first thing she said when I walked in the door because she would have loved that story she would have been very proud of it if she was having some kind of like uh you know I was it's not May December but it's like the wrong side of the tracks affair she was the kind of person I would love to talk about that totally so up until two weeks before her murder that was not happening right um so he basically kind of it was interesting when he talked about that where it's like you can totally see that yeah basically The trial goes, on November 16, 2006, he's found guilty.

[539] Christopher McGowan has found guilty of first -degree murder, murder with extreme atrocity, aggravated rape, and aggravated armed burglary.

[540] And after the verdict is read, Christopher McGowan makes a statement to the court where he says, quote, I never meant for this to ever take place.

[541] And then after he says that, he claims to still be innocent.

[542] Wow.

[543] Which is a really weird way to say.

[544] it if you're innocent.

[545] He is serving three concurrent life terms in prison without the possibility of parole.

[546] So after all of that, the verdict comes down.

[547] In January of 2008, several jurors came forward and claimed that there was a racial bias in the jury room during the deliberations.

[548] So all 12 jurors got called back to court by that judge, and they all were questioned over those claims.

[549] And their testimony revealed that there was racial tension in the judge.

[550] jury room.

[551] So because of that, Christopher McGowan's lawyer used that information as grounds to file a motion for a retrial, but that was struck down as have all three appeals that McGowan's defense attorneys have filed on his behalf since he got sentenced.

[552] And then in 2012, the defense attorney Bob George was convicted of money laundering, and he himself served three years in prison.

[553] What?

[554] Yes.

[555] so the very much I mean I don't know there's a lot of things that get introduced in this case in this 48 hours that this that defense attorney Bob George he actually did a really good job of introducing all these possible doubts into this case but at the end of the day it's DNA yeah and his was the only DNA on her body.

[556] And she was raped and murdered.

[557] And she was raped and murdered.

[558] Which would have meant there would have been someone else's DNA there.

[559] Right.

[560] And it's funny because that 48 hours is kind of old and they, it's interesting how it feels like they keep pointing to this idea that she, quote, had a lot of boyfriends.

[561] That seemed to be at play in the way people kind of like judged this.

[562] Yeah.

[563] That and like she had an affair with a married man where it's like, yeah, she was not to be trusted somehow.

[564] Yeah.

[565] Yeah.

[566] Yeah.

[567] Or there was, I don't know.

[568] It's, it's, it's, uh, I didn't like, I didn't like it.

[569] And the movie did that too.

[570] The movie was crazy.

[571] The movie was all about fucking Tony Jackets, the, well, the character that was representing him.

[572] And like how tough his life was and how these, all these women were making his life really tough.

[573] And there's, oh, that poor fucking baby.

[574] You have to see, you have to see it.

[575] It's pretty amazing.

[576] And there's also the casting is fucking fascinating.

[577] The woman who plays Tony Jacket's wife a couple times I was like, is that Bridget Everett?

[578] You know the comic?

[579] Yeah, yeah.

[580] Because it looked like her.

[581] And it was this kind of like, everything had a, it was right on the verge of being campy.

[582] And then it would just come back every time to boring.

[583] When they made the movie, did they know who the killer was and then they showed that's what happened?

[584] Yes.

[585] Although I'm pretty sure I fell asleep before the end of the because how can you victim blame throughout a movie and then it turns out it's just some fucking other guy psycho murderer yes you know what i mean which has it wouldn't matter if she was let's say promiscuous or not i'm not saying she was but it wouldn't fucking matter it doesn't matter anyway it's like that thing that happened happened that's the case that needs to get sold um i mean it's crazy yeah i think at the end of this thing it's they leave it super vague like maybe he didn't right but it's like no he did yeah but i i recommend everyone go because it's this bizarre crossroads of it's almost like every bad reenactment you've ever seen if all the reinactors had lines whereas like you know what play with this scene and figure out what happened with you guys i want to see susan jackets gets her groove back where she leaves her fucking cheating husband goes to an island is it susan it's susan jackets it is now susan jacket how that's fucked up it's crazy But the little girl, the good news is, the little girl went to live with the person that Christa Worthington chose to be the guardian, which is a good friend of hers.

[586] But Tony Jackets and Susan have visited her, and now she's like in college.

[587] Oh, good.

[588] And she's doing great.

[589] Honey.

[590] Fly.

[591] You're a bird.

[592] I don't know.

[593] Spread your way.

[594] you know that's my words of encouragement i bet that'll work spread your wings you know spread your wings and stuff um wow crazy i mean it's almost like a good thing that your ankle got twisted i don't want to go ahead to say it's almost a good thing that i watch tv 24 hours a day finally something good came out of it all right my murder okay so you know i'm obsessed with fucking and infectious diseases and plagues and flu epidemics.

[595] Uh -oh.

[596] You know I love all this shit, right?

[597] Sure.

[598] That's my passion.

[599] Illness?

[600] Uh -huh.

[601] Like, end of days shit.

[602] Great.

[603] Level stuff.

[604] Mm -hmm.

[605] Okay.

[606] And right now, the flu, right now in mid -January, 2018, the flu is already an epidemic this year, which is fun.

[607] I just got a shot.

[608] Did you get a flu shot?

[609] Mm -hmm.

[610] Oh, good.

[611] I think it's irritated and I'm going to die.

[612] But anyways.

[613] Well, at least you won't have the flu when you die.

[614] Exactly.

[615] So on that note, because it's so fun, I thought I would do, you know, our good friend, Typhoid Mary.

[616] Nice.

[617] Okay.

[618] Here we go.

[619] In the summer of 1906 on Long Island's Oyster Bay.

[620] Have you been there?

[621] I haven't.

[622] think they take one of those little trains a jitney a jitney to get there right i don't know 1906 did jitney did they have cars it was made of strong don't know maybe a horse jitney um so long island's oyster bay is the tony playground of new yorks rich and famous teddy fucking roosevelt none other than had his summer white house there oh it's all fucking rich people sure um and everyone freaks the fuck out when in span of just one week, six of the 11 people in the home of a wealthy banker, he's the banker to the Vanderbilt's even, Charles Warren's household comes down with typhoid fever while they are there on vacation.

[623] Tifoid is a bacterial infection.

[624] Let me tell you about it.

[625] Okay.

[626] Due to salmonella typhi, and it's viewed back then as a disease of the crowded slums and tenements, which we love to talk about.

[627] Yes.

[628] In New York, it's associated with poverty, the lack of basic sanitation, immigrants assumed to live in disease -ridden, crowded housing are scapegoats of typhoid.

[629] So when a rich fucking family gets it, it's bananas.

[630] Typhoid is one of the 20th century's most terrifying killers because an infection could spread through a house before anyone knew what was going on.

[631] The first week, the infection seems almost, you know, like just a regular flu.

[632] Then there's the fever or some abdominal cramping, but nothing really crazy to show that it's typhoid.

[633] And then during the second week, fever goes crazy.

[634] The patient becomes delirious.

[635] Blood clots form under the skin.

[636] The entire abdomen becomes distended.

[637] Ooh.

[638] The third week inflammation of the fucking brain and intestinal hemorrhaging.

[639] And the death rate of those infected is anywhere between one in ten and three in ten.

[640] So it's really easily spread by eating or drinking food or water contaminated with the feces.

[641] of infected persons.

[642] So think about that in the 1900, the early 1900s, you know, when they didn't, like, wash their hands and stuff and, like, water wasn't, you know, cleaned and shit.

[643] And they all lived in, like, houses and stuff that were all, you know.

[644] Yeah, what that, I mean, that was back still when people would get up and just pee in a bowl under the bed, right?

[645] Right.

[646] I just, like, slosh it back under.

[647] Probably throw it out the window.

[648] Sure.

[649] Where, let's, is that when they threw stuff out the window?

[650] Throw the baby out with the, probably.

[651] I bet it I bet they did Let's say yes But I like the idea that people would do it in rich houses Well they didn't So that's the thing It's like they didn't So it was really weird That this typhoid Was an outbreak in a rich house So people were That's why on Oyster Bay They were like This is a fucking Something's wrong Not here Not in my family Not in my backyard Right not in the Tony playground Of the rich and famous Hell no No In 1900 it killed 35 ,000 Americans, there's no cure, antibiotics didn't exist, and a vaccine was not yet available.

[652] Horrifying.

[653] So scary.

[654] So Charles Warren's landlord was freaking out that the family outbreak would prevent him from leasing his summer house again.

[655] He thought they were burn it to the fucking ground because of typhoid.

[656] So he was like, fuck the shit.

[657] He hires freelance sanitary engineer, George Soper.

[658] A freelance sanitary engineer.

[659] Dr. George Sofer.

[660] Okay.

[661] Which is like, you sound fun at parties.

[662] You sound like you have a made -up job.

[663] Yeah.

[664] He, uh, he's called a janitor.

[665] No, no. He's like, he investigates sources of typhoid fever outbreaks to determine the cause.

[666] Like, he's the dude who.

[667] House?

[668] Dr. House?

[669] He's like, come over to my house.

[670] Figure out what happened here.

[671] Okay.

[672] Like, why is everyone sick?

[673] He's the dude who figured it out.

[674] Like, what was his name again?

[675] George Soper, Dr. George Soper.

[676] Okay.

[677] So he's like, he's like, what's his name?

[678] The detective.

[679] Colombo?

[680] Sherlock Holmes?

[681] Can you edit that?

[682] You can leave that part in.

[683] He's like the Colombo Sherlock Holmes of diseases.

[684] Okay.

[685] Of, I was going to say, diarrhea.

[686] Diary.

[687] Stop it.

[688] We don't use that word.

[689] No, we do use that word.

[690] So, everything, so sober tests everything.

[691] He's like super excited about gross.

[692] apparently.

[693] He tests the house plumbing, local shellfish company, everything comes up negative for typhoid.

[694] But then he looks into the cook who had worked for the Warrens weeks before the outbreak and discovered that a female Irish cook, who fit the description of a cook who had worked in other households where typhoid had broke out, broke out, no, broken out in the past, that she had worked there right before everyone fell ill of typhoid.

[695] And, had also just cooked for the Warren's.

[696] So, I don't know why you'd hire an Irish cook.

[697] We can't fucking cook.

[698] Apparently she was good at it.

[699] And like red potatoes.

[700] Yeah, but I think that back then they liked the simplicity of it all.

[701] Oh, man, such a bummer.

[702] I mean, Irish.

[703] That sounds fucking amazing to me. That's all I want is pot roast and red potatoes.

[704] Are you serious?

[705] With some horseradish.

[706] Yes.

[707] What about jello with fruit cocktail floating inside of it?

[708] Fruit cocktail?

[709] yes.

[710] Yeah.

[711] And then, of course, my grandma's special.

[712] What did she put on it?

[713] Thousand Island dressing.

[714] Yes.

[715] Okay, a hard stop.

[716] That's an iceberg lettuce.

[717] No. That's Irish cooking, my friends.

[718] Do you know what I want?

[719] I want.

[720] I want iceberg lettuce with Thousand Island and I want Jello with fruit cocktail.

[721] I don't want them to meet each other.

[722] Well, sorry, my grandma says you have to.

[723] And that's my job to make it happen.

[724] And you have to finish it.

[725] You do.

[726] I mean, fair enough.

[727] she forces to eat spinach as tiny babies and very few of us have ever broken a bone spinach but you fucking twist her ankle all the goddamn time I roll it but it don't break grandma okay grandma he was okay so we can't find her because she left after the after every outbreak began begins she fucking later's out of there and doesn't give affording a dress soper learns of an active outbreak in a penthouse on park avenue where two of the household servants were hospitalized, and the young daughter of the family had died of typhoid.

[728] Oh, no. And he discovers, sober discovers, that the family cook was the same woman who had cooked for the other families.

[729] It's 40 -year -old Irish immigrant, Mary Malin.

[730] Oh, Mary, wash your hands, Mary.

[731] There we go.

[732] What are you doing, Mary?

[733] And what does she say?

[734] And she says, ah, I just need to start this soup with my hand real quick.

[735] I can't do it.

[736] No, you're going to do it this whole fucking story.

[737] We need it.

[738] Soper starts stalking Mary Malin and tells her, and he tells her she's transmitting disease and death by her job.

[739] But he sounds very bad at, like, telling people things and explaining in a calm, like, you know, self -possessed manner to an Irish immigrant, probably because he had some prejudices against Irish people.

[740] So do you think he was, like, too nervous to tell her or he was, like, screaming at her?

[741] I think he was screaming in her face, this thing of, yeah, transmitting disease.

[742] he's in death.

[743] And she's this like Irish, I'm like, what are you talking about?

[744] Ah.

[745] Ah.

[746] Um, so he didn't explain to her how she, as a woman who was perfectly healthy, could be infecting others with typhoid.

[747] He attempted to get, and then, and then he goes on to attempt to get samples of Mary's feces, urine and blood.

[748] I think just by yelling in her face that he needs samples of her feces, urine and blood.

[749] Jesus, Mary and Joseph, man. Get away from me. Yeah.

[750] Not surprisingly, this just pissed Mary off.

[751] And one time she chased her.

[752] him away with a large kitchen fork when he tried to come get her piece.

[753] Get out of here.

[754] I don't know.

[755] That's my Irish.

[756] Get out of here.

[757] Get out of the kitchen now?

[758] You always have to start way high and then go down really low.

[759] Okay.

[760] Since Mary refused to give samples, he decided to compile a five -year history of her employment.

[761] He found that of the eight families that had hired Mary Mallon as a cook, members of seven of those families claimed to have contracted typhoid fever, even though Mary had never shown signs of the ailment.

[762] And with this, Soper becomes the first author to describe a healthy carrier of salvinella typhi in the United States.

[763] So the person who can carry it, never get ill by it, but pass it on to other people.

[764] So she's basically immune to this thing she has.

[765] But she has it and is giving it to everybody else.

[766] And she, and part of her argument is like, well, I'm fucking fine.

[767] It can't be me giving it to anyone.

[768] Right.

[769] So also, and let me use my whole arm as a stirring spoon.

[770] And I just want to stir this fucking stew.

[771] I just want to touch the bottom of the pan.

[772] Right.

[773] With my fingernail.

[774] Let me put this under my fingernails and put it into the stew.

[775] What's the big deal?

[776] What is the problem?

[777] My fingernail ladle.

[778] Right, without washing my hands.

[779] Okay.

[780] Let me tell you about Mary.

[781] Mary Malon is born in September of 1869 in Cooks County, Cookston, County Tyrone, Cookston, let's call it.

[782] A small village in the north, of Ireland, that was among one of Ireland's poorest areas.

[783] She immigrated to the United States in 1883 at the age of 15.

[784] Her aunt and uncle who she had been living with died.

[785] So she was living in swallet housing in the Lower East Side fending for herself.

[786] She found work as a domestic servant and apparently her proclensity in the kitchen led her to be a cook.

[787] So she was somehow good.

[788] For what in the kitchen?

[789] I don't know.

[790] I copied and pasted it.

[791] Sorry.

[792] That I never used.

[793] Proclensity.

[794] Propensity.

[795] Clensity.

[796] Clensity.

[797] That's a word.

[798] I don't think it is.

[799] Oh, shit.

[800] Hold on.

[801] I refuse.

[802] I copied and paste it.

[803] Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. It sounded so good and I was going to...

[804] It kind of was like a combination of propensity and declension, but I'm almost positive.

[805] Glenn...

[806] Your search for clenity did not match any search.

[807] Her propensity.

[808] Is that right?

[809] Well, I'm never copying and pasting from Wikipedia.

[810] again the grammar's odd so it's not there's no yeah there's no it's propensity or that's like it the correction the correct oh yeah they maybe they just the correct word is propensity fuck all right I'm not adding that out because this is who I am look I'm gonna fucking show sometimes we get words wrong it's okay my pro clenston in the kitchen it sounds like for clenston sounds like a like for men who are losing their hair like a shampoo to take mint per clenston every night right okay in 1900 she worked in mammoronic New York heard of it no where within two weeks of her employment residents developed typhoid fever in 1901 she moved to Manhattan or members of the family whom she worked for developed fevers and diarrhea that's a bummer to have the same time yeah that's horrible you don't know what's happening and you have diarrhea Right.

[811] The laundress died there.

[812] Oh, no. His name they don't mention anywhere, which is like, listen, she's someone too.

[813] That's right.

[814] And then Mary Mellon goes on to work for a lawyer.

[815] She left after seven of the eight people and that household became ill. She fucking laters.

[816] Why did she keep leaving, though?

[817] I don't know.

[818] She thinks she's so innocent.

[819] Well, it's so, it's hard to tell because it's like, did she leave because everyone got sick and so the house stood still and they didn't need anyone?

[820] Or what did she know?

[821] Isn't that when you need help the most?

[822] That's true.

[823] Chicken soup doesn't cook itself.

[824] Yeah, that's right.

[825] Cook and soup doesn't use its own arm to stir itself.

[826] Jesus Christ.

[827] Okay.

[828] Chicken soup can't stir itself without an arm.

[829] And it can't walk upstairs.

[830] Okay.

[831] So then in 1906, she goes to Oyster Bay.

[832] And within two weeks, 10 of the 11 family members are hospitalized with typhoid.

[833] Change his job again.

[834] Same thing happens.

[835] cooks for the Warren, same thing happens, blah -b -de -blah.

[836] Okay, doctors theorized that Mary Malin likely passed typhoid germs by failing to vigorously scrub her hands before handling food.

[837] Usually the elevated temperatures of cooking food would have killed all the germs and bacteria and shit, but then they found out that Mary Malins' like most popular dish.

[838] Her specialty?

[839] Her specialty was ice cream that she cut up raw peaches into and froze.

[840] So nothing had gotten cooked.

[841] Can you imagine those wet fucking peaches with her little like cutting knife and all the nail under her nail stuff?

[842] As she's cutting peaches, she's also cutting a little bit of her finger along with it.

[843] Oh, God.

[844] She had a real proclensity for cutting up her own flesh.

[845] I can't believe I got that word.

[846] Okay.

[847] The New York Health, the New York City Health Department finally, they try to get her to chill the fuck out and she won't.

[848] Finally, they send position.

[849] You won't.

[850] She's like, fuck you and everyone.

[851] I must cook.

[852] Yeah.

[853] She's like an angry, an angry woman.

[854] She had to fight for her, like, her life livelihood.

[855] She didn't have anybody.

[856] Nobody.

[857] It reminds, so I just started watching Alias Grace, which you had talked about liking.

[858] And it reminds me of like, she, came over on a ship in that fucking in that nature of absolute bullshit and she's like, fuck you, I'm working to like live my own life.

[859] I mean, it's those, the ship journey alone is so upsetting for most people coming to this country.

[860] Traumatizing.

[861] Just horrifying.

[862] And then they show up and then it's like, I hope you have a job.

[863] Yeah, good luck with that.

[864] Yeah.

[865] Also, you don't wash your hands enough.

[866] Yeah, that's right.

[867] What are you talking about?

[868] You know what that reminds me of real quick?

[869] Yeah.

[870] When I lived in Scotland, there was a. commercial that was on like UK TV and it was are you a washer or a walker and it was just a it was pretend camera like hidden camera in a bathroom to see if people walked up check their face and walked away or washed their hands and walked away and since that commercial I think before that I was very like no who cares one way or the other I know if I need to wash my hands or not since that commercial I've oh I wash my hands every single time no matter what you just can't trust door knobs.

[871] You just can't trust door handles.

[872] You just should wash your hands as much as possible.

[873] And I do.

[874] I mean, don't go out of your fucking mind.

[875] And I do.

[876] But like, do your best.

[877] Don't be a walker.

[878] That's all I'm saying.

[879] My dad, every, he won't sit down at, we'll go to lunch anywhere.

[880] He had just gone out of his car.

[881] He hasn't touched anything.

[882] He won't.

[883] He's kind of has OCD though.

[884] But he'll go wash his hands before, like every time you can't even start talking to him.

[885] Oh, wow.

[886] wash his hands i wonder if that's like if his parents were really strict about that like before eating yeah maybe it's a good idea every once in a while i'll look at my hands especially when i was wearing cheap jeans oh no there's nothing worse than having dirty hands as an adult at like a meal the only worse than like putting a food thing into your mouth and being like when was the last time i washed my hands that's my fucking thing of like and then you there's only so many times you can go well i'm strengthening my immune system.

[887] No, most of the time you're not.

[888] You're just putting someone else's fucking urine hands in your fucking mouth and from the doorknob.

[889] We'd all have much stronger immune systems if that really was the truth.

[890] I have a bit of an OCD about washing hands.

[891] Well, you're Marty's daughter.

[892] I'm Marty's daughter through and through a hard stark.

[893] Doesn't let her hands.

[894] Doesn't mess.

[895] Does not mess.

[896] Okay.

[897] So New York City Health Department sends in physician Sarah Josephine Baker to talk to Mary.

[898] So the singer.

[899] Yeah, right?

[900] Almost.

[901] That would be amazing.

[902] At night, she was just an amazing dancer.

[903] Hands are gross.

[904] That's not good.

[905] Baker said that by the time she was, she said, quote, by that time she was convinced that the law was only persecuting her when she had done nothing wrong.

[906] So Mary was like hardcore, fuck you.

[907] We're like that.

[908] Yeah.

[909] Bakers.

[910] So this chick Sarah Josephine Baker, her own father and brother had died of typhoid.

[911] she was young and so she had felt pressure to support her mother and sister financially so at 16 years old she decided on a career in medicine wow and this and this is like the early 1900s this chick is a badass motherfucker in our own right and people should fucking study her etc for feminist reasons she's fucking awesome um so she goes uh to find mary malon and with her help the new york city health department takes mary into custody in 1907 and places her into forced confinement inside a bungalow on 16 -acre North Brother Island off the Bronx shore.

[912] So if you live in, have lived in Manhattan or been in Manhattan, you see a fucking island over there, like off the shore that you can like see.

[913] It's almost like Alcatraz in San Francisco.

[914] Right.

[915] So all the only thing, only companion she has and tell me if this doesn't sound amazing, she's in confinement.

[916] All she has is a fox terrier.

[917] And you're like, living the life.

[918] Can I please?

[919] So wait, I think I'm in that confinement.

[920] now you put yourself in mary mallin's fucking confinement we're all all irish women are doomed to live the life of mary malon it just repeats itself damn it okay so she it's at so they on this brother island was the riverside hospital which is where she's at it's founded in the 1850s as a smallpox hospital to treat and isolate victims of that disease so they just fucking put them on this tiny island outside of manhattan and you can see manhattan and you're like oh my little and i don't want that and they're like no you're sick too bad um it eventually expands to other quarantinable diseases like leprosy and venereal diseases so they just like later people onto that island did they really yeah so you get you get some venereal disease and then yeah so like go stay here and tell you're oh in the same room with all the other people with venereal diseases yeah that sounds like a party i mean those are the people the party yeah um a lot of great personalities he's in that room, I bet.

[921] I mean, I'm sure.

[922] Okay.

[923] With her forced confinement, Mary, Malin, everyone, the media goes fucking nuts because this woman has been spreading this disease and killing people with it.

[924] So media goes nuts.

[925] Eventually in 1908 in the Journal of American Medical Association, she is nicknamed Typhoid Mary.

[926] That's where she gets her name.

[927] So the professionals really came in to shit on her.

[928] Yeah, they were doing top -notch journalism.

[929] Good job, everybody.

[930] um so so it turns out mary malon is immune to the disease herself she's the first person in united states identified as an asymptomatic carrier of the pathogen which is pretty fucking cool well in custody mary malon typhoid mary let's call her admits to poor hygiene she's like yeah what up it motherfuckers oh no say it myrish I can't say it was perfect that was not you just say cares.

[931] Oh, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, there's other things I worry about.

[932] Exactly.

[933] There's people starving in my country.

[934] She said she did not understand the purpose of hand washing because she did not pose a risk.

[935] Girl, you're the cook.

[936] You're the cook.

[937] You pose a risk.

[938] It doesn't matter how healthy you are.

[939] They, authorities are like, let's get rid of your gallbladder because that's where they believe the typhoid bacteria resided in and she was like, fuck no, fuck you.

[940] I don't even have the disease.

[941] And she was unwilling to cease working as a cook, too.

[942] So they're like, well, let you go.

[943] Just don't work as a cook.

[944] And she's like, nope, and I won't wash my hands.

[945] Go fuck yourself.

[946] Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, totally fight.

[947] We're so angry.

[948] It doesn't make sense.

[949] Irish women, Irish women, fight, fight, fight.

[950] And then a herky.

[951] Herky.

[952] She is forced to give 163 samples of various bodily substances to the doctors there.

[953] a hundred and twenty of which tested positive for the bacteria she was teeming with this disease to the to the hilt to the gills to the gills so mary stays there for three years until test results from a private laboratory yes i said that came up negative for typhoid and with this information in 1909 mary sues the health department for her freedom but everyone's like where did she get the money to sue the health department and then and then it's like a secret thing that maybe william r Randolph Hearst was like, well, give you the money if you give me, like, an interview.

[954] So, like, he was, like, springing people.

[955] So genius.

[956] Yeah, so smart.

[957] But the New York Supreme Court's like, oh, fuck yourself.

[958] No. But then in 1910, there's a new health commissioner.

[959] He lets her go if she promises never to work as a cook again.

[960] And she's like, okay, great.

[961] She's like, fine, I didn't like that much anyway.

[962] Yeah.

[963] So in February of 1910, Mary agreed that she was, quote, prepared to change her occupation and would give assurance by affidavit that she would, upon her release, take such hygienic precautions as would protect those with whom she came in contact from infection.

[964] Meaning, wash her fucking hands.

[965] I'll wash my fucking hands.

[966] No, I just, I felt like I wanted to defend, but there's, it's, it's an indefensible.

[967] Go ahead.

[968] No, I can't.

[969] Some people don't think, some people think what, that her being locked up is indefensible.

[970] No, she killed a ton of people because she refused to watch.

[971] she wouldn't it's like she wouldn't give in anything where it's like okay well if you're the cook you have to admit handwashing is kind of key i realize that was that was kind of a new idea back then but still well the thing is so she thought they were all out to get her all this shit you're like decades later they're like well if she had typhoid her whole life maybe it fucked her brain up a little bit and she was paranoid and crazy oh yeah but wait it gets worse okay okay so they let her out they lose track of her, goodbye.

[972] Bad idea.

[973] Cut to five years later, in 1915, a typhoid outbreak happens at Manhattan's Sloan Maternity Hospital.

[974] Struck 25 workers and killed two of those workers.

[975] When Soper, our friend George Soper's back, he looks into the outbreak and he's like, this looks fucking familiar.

[976] Oh, no. Traces it back to the cook, who's an Irish woman named Mary Brown this time.

[977] She changed her name.

[978] She found a good man. Nope.

[979] She changed her name so she could become a cook.

[980] Like she was doing it.

[981] Now she's responsible for it.

[982] Now she's being a dick.

[983] You know what I mean?

[984] Yeah.

[985] Now it's criminal, I think.

[986] It's Mary Mallon.

[987] But, blah, blah, blah.

[988] Turns out, she changed her name.

[989] And during her years of release, she had cooked in hotels, restaurants, and institutions.

[990] Wow.

[991] So she was like, she'd gotten a, they'd given her a job as a laundress.

[992] You make no fucking money.

[993] It's really hard work.

[994] Doesn't smell good.

[995] Doesn't smell good.

[996] She was like, fuck this shit and went to cook.

[997] Wherever she worked, there were outbreaks of typhoid.

[998] However, she changed jobs so frequently, so she had eluded the blame.

[999] She's captured and again confined to North Brother Island where she continued to refuse to acknowledge that she had any connection between herself and the typhoid cases.

[1000] Well, at that point, it's so stacked up against her that she might as well just do that because she's so guilty that the second she breaks, it's over.

[1001] Yeah, exactly.

[1002] So after the second apprehension, she spends the next 23 years of her life as a prisoner in forest isolation.

[1003] Hundreds if not thousands of asymptomatic carriers who had been identified were allowed to walk the streets of New York freely, but typhoid Mary lived alone in exile, partly due because the public were fucking pissed at her because she wouldn't stay out of the kitchen.

[1004] Like if she had just not gone back to cooking.

[1005] Yes.

[1006] That second time around.

[1007] Exactly.

[1008] she I mean I didn't it's sad that she lived in isolation yeah but you why are you being so stubborn yeah calm down Karen Karen's having family then you just my face just starts to fall apart I don't want to do it it just so comes out of me your typhoid tears just start running out of your face the devil inside me he made so bad um but blah blah blah the kitchen on number November 11, 1938, Mary Malin dies of pneumonia at age 69, still in captivity.

[1009] An autopsy found evidence of live typhoid bacteria in her gallbladder.

[1010] So she could have.

[1011] Yeah, they were right.

[1012] Her bodies cremated and her ashes were buried at St. Raymond's Cemetery in the Bronx.

[1013] So Mary Malin, it's thought that she infected 51 people and three of those illnesses resulted in death.

[1014] And that's based on George Soper's, you know, looking into it.

[1015] But she used so many aliases that it's thought that the true death toll could have been way fucking higher.

[1016] Some estimated that she had made it have caused 50 fatalities, which I just saw that in a random article.

[1017] So I don't know if that's even true.

[1018] Historians say she contaminated at least 122 people and killed five, which sounds a little more likely.

[1019] So crazy, though.

[1020] So throughout the 20th century, typhoid fever steadily declined.

[1021] due to introduction of vaccinations and improvements in public sanitation and hygiene, aka, wash your fucking hands.

[1022] And today, typhoid fever is considered a rare condition among developed countries.

[1023] Raid is approximately five cases per million per year.

[1024] As for fucking Brother Island and Riverside Hospital real quick, this fucking island of disease off of Manhattan, which sounds amazing, right?

[1025] Sounds amazing.

[1026] The island has been abandoned since 1963, after it was a detention, it was last a detention facility for juvenile drug offenders in 1963.

[1027] How badly do you wish you could go and just sit on the wall and like stare at the people and there are, you know there's some blacklight posters in that building.

[1028] You know there's some people out there who have stories of like, they were like, because you know my mom working in the mental, she worked at a hospital called Langley Porter in San Francisco.

[1029] It's up on the hill.

[1030] Yeah.

[1031] And people in the 60s used to send their kids, got caught smoking pot one time.

[1032] They sent their kids to the mental hospital.

[1033] Jesus Christ.

[1034] So she said there were in the like mental late 60s, all these kids, there was like an influx of kids that were like they're incorrigible and their drug addicts where they had only done like smoked one joint or whatever.

[1035] Or just like we're saying no to things.

[1036] Exactly.

[1037] It was like a way people.

[1038] But they were housed with people who are legitimately in need of mental health issues.

[1039] And I'm sure those kids were like, well, I'm never doing anything bad.

[1040] again.

[1041] Yes.

[1042] The shit that they saw like, yeah.

[1043] Or they were like, I don't know.

[1044] She just said it was really sad and bummed her out a lot.

[1045] It's clearly complicated.

[1046] Yeah.

[1047] So these kids got sent there in 1963.

[1048] Finally it closed.

[1049] It's now uninhabited and designated as a bird sanctuary.

[1050] But wait, it's illegal for anyone to go on the island without permission from the city.

[1051] All the buildings though still fucking stand.

[1052] And these photographers sometimes go on there and take photos and you can see a bunch of the photos.

[1053] We should put them up on Instagram of these gorgeous like brick buildings that are falling in a disrepair.

[1054] And you can see the rooms where Mary Malin was fucking housed.

[1055] And you can see the typhoid of a wing and you can see the fucking crematorium.

[1056] And it's like, it's insanely gorgeous.

[1057] I am asking any murderino who works for the city of Manhattan to please let me and Karen come see the fucking island.

[1058] Come and get a disease of our own for ourselves.

[1059] And since it's like under, you know under watch and you it's really hard to get on there everything is still there so like people haven't graffitied and people haven't stolen shit from the island that's amazing it's it's you need to see the photos everything is covered in wildlife it's gorgeous oh i want to see that it's amazing um blah blah it sounds like the island they threatened to send or that they promised to send dr lector to in silence of lambs that ends up to be that they were like thanksies when she recites that thing You are allowed to walk on the beach every day, whatever.

[1060] Can you read?

[1061] I want to read that.

[1062] It's so good.

[1063] Do it again.

[1064] And you will be allowed one.

[1065] You will be allowed one.

[1066] Walk one day a year.

[1067] Well, you can walk freely on the beach with armed guards or whatever, snipers.

[1068] Oh, God.

[1069] I don't know.

[1070] And she didn't know it was fake either.

[1071] I know.

[1072] My friend, my friend Amy, who you met when we were in, uh, um, we, Wisconsin.

[1073] She has silence the lambs memorized.

[1074] I've watched it with her and she'll just say the line real quick before.

[1075] It's my favorite thing in the world.

[1076] Oh, I love it.

[1077] You will be allowed to walk.

[1078] She'd be able to do that speech right off the dome.

[1079] It's so good.

[1080] I love it.

[1081] Oh, these domes.

[1082] Okay, it's illegal, blah -bidi -blah.

[1083] But you could still see the building, the room where typhoid Mary spent the last 23 years of her life.

[1084] What was she doing there?

[1085] Oh, man, she was bummed.

[1086] But it's just like there's varying accounts where it's like some say she was like actually helping out there and like a maid and some say that she was just like in seclusion and they abandoned her and used her as like a look at typhoid mare, you know, when people would come to the island.

[1087] Yeah.

[1088] It's like that kind of thing.

[1089] So you don't really know.

[1090] I hope there was a fox terrier.

[1091] I hope so.

[1092] Yeah.

[1093] And then I also want to mention there's a podcast if you're into this shit like I am.

[1094] There's a podcast that's kind of new.

[1095] It's hosted by these two young ladies.

[1096] who are grad students in disease ecology.

[1097] It's called This Podcast Will Kill You.

[1098] And it's just about infectious diseases from history.

[1099] And every episode is that.

[1100] And these two girls, they're both named Aaron, are like, it's just an awesome podcast.

[1101] This podcast will kill you.

[1102] Yeah.

[1103] This podcast will kill you.

[1104] I love it.

[1105] I like to imagine that Typhoid Mary sat in seclusion in her room on that island and fantasized of all the different things she'd like to put her hand in.

[1106] Like she'd be like corn chowder or whatever and then just like mashed potatoes and then both the fantasy is just like both bare arms go all the way in and like she cleans her fingernails in the chowder yes I wonder if she like requested like cooking magazines and like red recipes and was like stick your arm completely in she'd be like this looks good but you know it needs my arm my arm my fingernail clippings.

[1107] It's not funny.

[1108] People don't.

[1109] It's disgusting.

[1110] It's terrible.

[1111] But isn't that amazing?

[1112] It's incredible.

[1113] Also, the idea, this, did you watch the Nick when it was on?

[1114] Yeah, and they have, there's an episode involving her.

[1115] I watched the little, the little, um, scene where they, they, and yes.

[1116] Where they confront her.

[1117] Yeah.

[1118] Yeah.

[1119] It's, that was such a good show and they did that.

[1120] It was so good.

[1121] She was great.

[1122] But they did that where they would take those things out of history and be like, this is what where you don't have any sense like things before modern medicine and modern stuff it's just the weirdest idea where they'd be like somebody coming in they'd be like well we tried to stick a tube in their arm and then they died like the end or it's just it was so crazy precarious the nick is such a great show i love that show yeah if you're into that kind of thing you should definitely watch it it was great also if you've ever taken cocaine to the point where it was a problem for you i warn trigger warning huge cocaine trigger warning for the nick opium too you're like i can be a doctor and do coke all the time no maybe you're in an opium dense too trigger warning so if you love to lay back with a bunch of people dressed in a traditional chinese garb yeah yeah then this will be hard for you to get through it's going to make you nuts but if you love surgery without gloves or anesthesia oh this is the show for you what a show or clive owen right um that was great thank you that was fun i love love to learn.

[1123] I love I love teaching.

[1124] No, I love saying words wrong.

[1125] I love to teach it.

[1126] I love to learn.

[1127] I love to lie.

[1128] I love to make up new words.

[1129] I love to just have fun with it.

[1130] Just say shit that and, you know, don't have any proclensity for caring.

[1131] I mean, I have a real preclensity to just say what I want.

[1132] And I think we all do.

[1133] There's a freedom in that.

[1134] In these preclusities, we all have.

[1135] In this preclentious time.

[1136] there's a freedom it's so the funniest thing about typhoid murray is she um she had a real problem with cleanse cleanseliness shit no i love it it was a fucking valiant effort i tried but you could see me you can see me making that you turn for miles away would you have made that attempt two years ago before this podcast absolutely not no not at all and so i applaud you real bias against ponds as you know and so i applaud you and uh no i think it's the effect that we're we're that you have on my life i'm i'm making you stupider you're breaking down those pun walls i am stupidering you hard you know real hard uh what makes you happy oh let's see falling down and snapping my ankle loudly in front of my neighbors oh no i kind of have one yeah go ahead okay the thing that makes me happy this week is this book that i'm listening to thank you audible fantasy and it's one of those books that makes me that someone thought of this narrative and thought of this like uh you know idea makes me happy that humans that certain humans exist you know it's like so fucking joyous that like people can think of these things and write these books and it's gorgeous and i love it it's called the it's called children of time by adrian uh chikovsky and it's sci -fi fantasy the book is really fun to listen to it's fucking weird as shit it's like post -human space stuff with their spiders.

[1137] I've never, in my life, thought I would ever have sympathy to spiders, but I do.

[1138] It's like such a good book, and it's making me really happy to exist.

[1139] Wow, that's great.

[1140] Like, they're, like, uh, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, you know?

[1141] Like, that, that's the last book that's done that for me, which has made me, like, so happy that Douglas Adams existed and I get a live here.

[1142] Because it's, like, big theories and thoughts and feelings.

[1143] Yeah.

[1144] I'm like, wow.

[1145] someone thought of that.

[1146] Our brains are bigger than, you know, in these preclentish times.

[1147] Where everything feels kind of preclensing.

[1148] Right.

[1149] And I know I'm not going to write that fucking book.

[1150] So I appreciate that Adrian Chikovsky has.

[1151] Yeah.

[1152] So that's sat down and compounded it out.

[1153] Yeah.

[1154] So that's making me happy.

[1155] Agreed.

[1156] What's yours?

[1157] Okay.

[1158] Mine is, this was a tweet that I received two days ago, you did too, from a woman name Molly on Hold on Oh sorry haunted train That's so fucking loud This is so fucking loud It's It's me chairneck On Twitter And she wrote to us and said Don't be alarmed if there's a body down there In quotes And then the headline of the article That she sent us Says sinkhole reveals hidden room Below Family's Garage That's right And then there is a picture of shelving that they can see through the hole and on the shelf there's toys but it's also all dark and creepy and it's like this article so it happened in Idaho Falls Idaho this family apparently when they like there's like an inch of cement and then the sinkhole happened and basically there had been a hidden room underneath their house and it's in a place where there's normally not sellers, so they're like, they think it's possible that could have been like a bomb shelter, but probably not.

[1159] Yeah.

[1160] And a bunch of stuff that's down there has been down there for like 40 or 50 years.

[1161] Is that how, I couldn't find how long it was.

[1162] It's like 40 or 50 years.

[1163] I don't think that they were like letters and shit.

[1164] Yes.

[1165] But they, that's the crazy.

[1166] Let me see if I can get a year.

[1167] I love it.

[1168] Oh, um, the home was built in the 50s and it was built as a basement home.

[1169] and someone came in the 70s and remodeled it and added the second story.

[1170] So I bet in the 70s someone put it down there.

[1171] Yeah.

[1172] But they say it's definitely not a bomb shelter and that it's sketchy.

[1173] And the insurance provider and the engineer are the ones that said don't be alarmed if you find a body down there.

[1174] That's amazing.

[1175] Don't be alarmed if you find a body down there.

[1176] Because they're basically going down there looking through it.

[1177] It's just like that picture of the old kind of water moldy letters and stuff.

[1178] It's just the creepiest story of all times.

[1179] So I'm very, as I think you know, but I'm not sure if everybody knows, but I'm obsessed with sinkholes.

[1180] Sinkholes are truly my passion.

[1181] Anytime they come, I was never more livid.

[1182] Remember the sinkhole that came up off of Laurel Canyon?

[1183] I was up in Petaluma.

[1184] And I saw it on the news, and I was livid.

[1185] Because you couldn't go meet it in person?

[1186] Yeah.

[1187] Couldn't go on meet and greet?

[1188] I would have walked right down there.

[1189] I would have paid top dollar for that meet and greet.

[1190] And I'm like, hi, where did you come from?

[1191] What's your deal?

[1192] What's happening down there?

[1193] Is it a, are you a hidden river?

[1194] Oh.

[1195] Or are you something entirely different?

[1196] That's amazing.

[1197] Yeah.

[1198] Sinkhole and hidden room.

[1199] Come on.

[1200] My favorite sinkhole.

[1201] That's amazing.

[1202] There's so many.

[1203] This is a doublesies for you.

[1204] It's a sinkhole and a hidden room.

[1205] And because the best part about it, usually sinkholes fill back up with water because that's why they're there in the first place.

[1206] It's like the water table got too close, blah -de -blah.

[1207] Look at you.

[1208] It's made up.

[1209] But it's a water involved, you know, that's why.

[1210] It's erosion, but it's underneath.

[1211] Okay.

[1212] Anyhow, there's no water in that cellar.

[1213] It's like they can go down and look into it.

[1214] I know.

[1215] It's not like it got flooded immediately or filled a silt.

[1216] No, I want to go.

[1217] I want to go down there Let's go It's like an amusement park Let's go Idaho is not that far away Thanks for listening everyone Yeah that was a fun one There's all kinds of crazy shit in that one Take it, run with it Do your thing Do your thing Do a fucking herky At the end of it Do a herky If it's Please if you're going to correct me On the herky positioning Don't do it You have to be a professional cheerleader That's all only take emails from professional cheerleaders.

[1218] And you have to send a video of you doing a hirk.

[1219] We need the correct hirk.

[1220] And then we'll play the audio of the video of the video.

[1221] Then you're going, uh, and breaking your back.

[1222] Herky.

[1223] Herky.

[1224] Thanks for listening, friends.

[1225] Stay sexy.

[1226] And don't get murdered.

[1227] Goodbye.

[1228] Bye.

[1229] Elvis, you want a cookie?

[1230] What cookie?

[1231] Oh, that's a little one.