The Ramsey Show XX
[0] From the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, this is The Ramsey Show.
[1] It's where we help you win in your life.
[2] We're going to help you win with your money.
[3] We're going to help you win in your work and winning your relationships.
[4] All three of those are interconnected.
[5] And if you're not winning in one of them, it's going to be affecting the others.
[6] I'm Ken Coleman.
[7] Dr. John Deloney is with me as well, and we're here for you this hour.
[8] The phone number is AAA -8 -8 -25 -2 -25 -2 -25.
[9] So, of course, we're going to take your money question.
[10] We'll take some relationship questions, mental health questions.
[11] How about work questions?
[12] You're talking about making some more money.
[13] Do I launch a side hustle?
[14] Is it the right time in the baby steps one through three?
[15] What do I do to make more money?
[16] We want to take on all of those questions.
[17] There's nothing off limits.
[18] Maybe we'll take a March Madness call.
[19] Do you fill out the brackets?
[20] It's bracket -mania time where people who never watch college basketball fill out a bracket.
[21] I'm pretty terrible at the brackets because I'm over -committed to my Texas Tech Red Raiders.
[22] I overcommit.
[23] I appreciate that.
[24] And I get delusional.
[25] It's your school, man. And I just assume they're going to, I'm always stunned that they don't win at all.
[26] Okay.
[27] Well, I like that loyalty.
[28] So we'll take your questions.
[29] We always have fun together and we're not afraid to dig deep.
[30] So let's get it started in New York City, the Big Apple.
[31] Sarah is joining us there.
[32] Sarah, how can John and I help?
[33] Hi, thank you guys for taking my call.
[34] Sure.
[35] So I'm, we are currently working on Baby Step number two to get out of debt.
[36] And I'm kind of struggling with the idea.
[37] I'm a stay -at -home mom.
[38] And so I'm very well aware that I came into the marriage with student loan debt and our card debt.
[39] And so I've also been taken on the majority of the consumer debt that we have on our credit cards.
[40] And so I struggle with the idea of feeling guilty, but also feeling like I'm not doing enough to contribute on tackling this debt.
[41] So, I mean, I don't know.
[42] I feel like I want to do more, but I'm not exactly sure how or where I can even start with that.
[43] All right.
[44] So let's take on that second part.
[45] I want Dr. John to jump in on that guilt here in a moment.
[46] But let's just look practically at I'm not sure what I can do.
[47] So let's just try to back into this a little bit.
[48] How much time, if any, do you have in a given week that is not related to the very, very, very, very important duties of being CEO of that house?
[49] I mean, I count on him to be with the kids on the weekends, and so I have taken on some tutoring that I'm doing, and so I'm bringing in maybe like $150 on the weekend.
[50] Okay, great.
[51] Okay, so first of all, we didn't mention that in the opening question.
[52] You were actually bringing in some money, so we could say that on a given month, on a four weekend month, you're bringing in, what, $600 bucks?
[53] Yeah, yeah.
[54] Okay, that goes a long way, doesn't it?
[55] If I was talking to your husband right now, and I said, hey, man, how's that $600 your wife adding to the pot?
[56] How's that feel?
[57] What would he say?
[58] He'd say he's grateful, probably.
[59] Probably?
[60] Or you know he would?
[61] Yeah, I know he would.
[62] So let me ask you this.
[63] How much time do you have during the traditional Monday through Friday that you could give to work?
[64] So, I mean, we do DoorDash about three hours.
[65] No, no, hold on.
[66] You're not answering my question.
[67] You're not answering my question.
[68] I'm actually trying to help you here on a practical matter.
[69] How many hours could you give to making money Monday through Friday?
[70] Outside of you taking care of the kiddos and all the important stuff you do at the house.
[71] Be realistic.
[72] I would say maybe two or three.
[73] Two or three hours a day?
[74] Okay, great.
[75] So let's just say two hours a day.
[76] That's 10 hours a week and then we've got the week and stuff.
[77] So what I want you to be focused on, I'm not going to put you on the spot.
[78] You don't have to come up with this on the air.
[79] But 10 hours a week, what could you do from a skill and experience standpoint?
[80] All you've got to be thinking about at this stage is what talent slash skill do I have that I can then turn into easy money.
[81] And what I mean by easy money is I don't have to get a degree.
[82] I don't have to go get trained.
[83] I literally apply or I raise my hand on social media and I can start doing this.
[84] And I think if you look at your skill and your experience and you have a lot of both, even being a stay -at -home mom, okay, you have a lot to offer.
[85] And you've already shown that on the weekends.
[86] I would just look to add those extra 10 hours and don't feel guilty about it.
[87] I want to hand it off to John on this guilt stuff.
[88] But I would just be focusing on what you can do.
[89] And I think that'll go a long way.
[90] But the 10 hours, how do I turn that into some extra money to help us in Baby Step 2 and 3 and 4 as we move on and keep doing the weekend stuff.
[91] But I would keep it that simple.
[92] Don't ever think it.
[93] Just find what you can do and do it when you can.
[94] Sarah, what's your total debt load of your house?
[95] We're about 30 ,000 in debt.
[96] And what's your husband bring home?
[97] You bring home around 36 ,000.
[98] Around 36 ,000?
[99] I'd like to help him make some more money.
[100] And y 'all live in New York?
[101] Yeah.
[102] How many kids do you have?
[103] We have two, a ten I'm still than a two -year -old.
[104] All right, I want to give you some potentially hard truth because I love you.
[105] Is that cool?
[106] Yeah, of course.
[107] Okay.
[108] What you're running into, it sounds like, is what you want versus reality.
[109] And what y 'all want is you want to be a stay -at -home mom, which I applaud and I love, okay?
[110] I think it's amazing.
[111] And you want to live in New York City, one of the most expensive places.
[112] on planet earth and your husband makes $36 ,000 a year for this particular moment in time that reality doesn't match so you're either your husband wants to make $36 ,000 a year then you're probably going to have to find somebody to watch your kids and you're going to have to go to work until you all get this stuff paid up and by the way at $36 ,000 a year I don't know you can get a bottle of water for $36 ,000 a year in New York.
[113] They can afford the child care anyway.
[114] Do you have family that could step in?
[115] Yeah, forget affording it.
[116] Do you have family there?
[117] Yeah, I think we have talked about this.
[118] We have family in Jersey.
[119] So I think that is more of what we've been deciding to look into as a family.
[120] What does your husband do?
[121] Jinks.
[122] He's a construction worker.
[123] Okay.
[124] What's he make per hour?
[125] so they get paid on a on a weekly basis it's a small company so okay i'm going to tell you something john and i are up in new york all the time doing media stuff and i see construction everywhere and i'm not a huge fan of unions but i know that he should be and he could be making way more than 36 thousand dollars more he needs some urgency uh this is less about you feeling guilty and he needs to feel some what i would call positive pressure from uh his his older buddies ken and John, he needs to be doing everything you can.
[126] The construction market is the trades, they're dying for people.
[127] And to John's point, if you guys need to move to New Jersey and be near the family, so it's easier for the kiddos to be watching, you both are crushing it.
[128] You guys should be combined income, $75 ,000 really soon.
[129] I don't think you're feeling guilt as much as you're feeling fear, and your fear is founded because y 'all can't afford to live in the world you've created for yourselves.
[130] So something's got to give I hope he goes You know what I'm going to get a new job And I'm going to get three jobs And I'm going to get us out of this mess Number one And I'm going to find a sustainable way For us to live number two Or you're going to decide I'm going to go to work also And we're going to rely on family Or we're going to do all three And we're going to move right But something's got to give Because the world you have created Isn't real Yeah John Mayer's song Waiting on the World of Change Is not applicable here You guys got to stop waiting For something better to happen And make something happen Like right now, it's urgent.
[131] Get after it.
[132] This is The Ramsey Show.
[133] You know, it doesn't take a degree in statistics to realize this one stinks.
[134] 93 % of undergraduate private student loans are co -signed.
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[144] Funding may not be available in all states.
[145] Welcome back to The Ramsey Show.
[146] I'm Ken Coleman.
[147] Dr. John Deloney is with me this shower.
[148] We are here for you.
[149] 88 -8 -25 -5 -2 -25.
[150] That's AAA -25 -2 -25 -2 -5.
[151] All right.
[152] Coming up, May 10th and 11th, this is a brand -new event from Ramseyland.
[153] It is called Total Money Makeover Weekend.
[154] and in this weekend it's a destination event here at our Nashville campus and this is obviously the baby steps really broken down all the personalities including me and John will be joining Dave Ramsey and Rachel Cruz and Jade Warshon George Campbell and it's going to be a fun fun weekend I'm told that George and Rachel will be doing a live version of their podcast Smart Money Happy Hour and it's it's an event for anybody on the baby steps, it needs that little extra sense of confidence, encouragement to get through it.
[155] As I said, we're all going to be doing brand new talks that are aligned and we're doing Q &A as well.
[156] Platinum plus tickets already gone.
[157] Still platinum, some VIP.
[158] If you jump on it now, you can go to ramsysolutions .com slash events.
[159] Ramsey Solutions .com slash events.
[160] All right, let's go to Minneapolis, Minnesota next where Dylan awaits.
[161] Dylan, how can we help?
[162] Hey guys, thanks for taking my call.
[163] You bet.
[164] What's up?
[165] Well, I'm just trying to figure out what I want to do for a career.
[166] I know it's a big question, but I just wanted some advice on how to figure out what that passion might be.
[167] Sure.
[168] I want to do for the rest of my life.
[169] Tell me how old you are, and then I'd love to know where you are now on that journey.
[170] and then what ideas that you've allowed your brain to think about?
[171] So that's a three -part question.
[172] Hit me with those answers.
[173] Well, I'm 21 right now, so I'm still young.
[174] I'm working as a server right now and detailing cars and an auto body shop.
[175] And I've tested the waters a little bit.
[176] I wanted to do landscaping, so I tried that out.
[177] And it ended up not being something that I really liked.
[178] Okay.
[179] So what have you been wondering about lately?
[180] Because I know you don't make this phone call without some ideas that have been circling your head.
[181] Yeah.
[182] I don't know.
[183] I was thinking about firefighting, but I kind of deal with a lot of self -doubt, I think.
[184] Okay.
[185] I think when I think about the firefighter thing, I'm a very small guy, and I don't think I really fit the build for what they're looking for.
[186] Okay.
[187] All right, let's take that on.
[188] Let's take that specific thing on, and then I want to pull back for a little bit, because I understand doubt, I understand doubt big time, and we're going to go through a real quick exercise, and I think we're going to get you some clarity.
[189] So on the firefighter thing that you're a small guy, okay, have you actually sat down and had coffee or lunch with a firefighter?
[190] No, I have it.
[191] All right, I want you to do that.
[192] That's your homework assignment, because I promise you, Dylan, you know somebody that knows somebody that could get you in touch with the local fire department, and I'm telling you those firemen would be happy to take a young guy out like you.
[193] and let you kick the tires, find out everything about their job.
[194] The good, what do they love about it?
[195] Ask them what they hate about it.
[196] Don't be afraid of that question.
[197] And then tell them what you're really doubtful about.
[198] Tell them.
[199] Look them right in the eye and go, I think I'm too small.
[200] And let's just see how that goes.
[201] You agree to do that?
[202] Yeah.
[203] All right.
[204] Now, quick exercise.
[205] All right?
[206] So the world of work, Dylan, can be divided into four areas.
[207] Really simple.
[208] There's people work.
[209] There's process work.
[210] There's ideas work.
[211] and there's object work, okay?
[212] Let me explain that.
[213] People work, kind of what John and I do, right?
[214] We're dealing with people.
[215] We write books.
[216] We speak, we coach, all that.
[217] Then ideas work.
[218] That's a little bit of John and I, too, right?
[219] We're coming up with methodologies or concepts or whatever.
[220] And then there's process work, right?
[221] So think of somebody who is maybe an engineer, maybe a project manager.
[222] Does that make sense to you?
[223] The process part?
[224] Yeah.
[225] All right.
[226] And then the last piece is the object work, and that is a little bit of what you have tinkered around with, right?
[227] Detailing cars, mechanics.
[228] We're building something and we're fixing something.
[229] Does that make sense to you?
[230] Yes.
[231] All right.
[232] So we got the four areas of work.
[233] Here's what I want you to tell me. I want you to tell me in the four areas, people process, ideas and objects.
[234] If I interviewed everybody that knows you, Dylan, what would they tell me and John that you're really talented at?
[235] Which four areas?
[236] Which of the four?
[237] And it's okay if there's a couple.
[238] What would they say?
[239] Dylan's really good at this kind of work.
[240] What would they say?
[241] I'd like to think people Okay Probably the biggest one People's the biggest one Okay now let's ask you the question Now let's forget about talent what you're good at You think of those four areas of work Which of the four areas do you think you would enjoy the most People work this is just your heart You would feel fulfilled Enjoy you would enjoy it You'd be excited Would it be people work process work Idea work or object work Probably but we ideas.
[242] I like to see what I think come to life.
[243] Okay.
[244] So we're not going to lock you into anything today, but Dylan, that's a really good experiment for you to go, okay, this is who I am.
[245] And I'd run that by some people and say, okay, I love ideas.
[246] So if I can use ideas to help people, what would that be?
[247] Does anything pop at the top of your mind really quick when I say it that way?
[248] If you knew you couldn't fail, what would be some type of idea -based work that you could do with people?
[249] what would that be what what jumps to the top of your head um i'd say something something to do with helping people find uh like houses for cheaper very good all right john what are you reading now i want to bring you in here because what we've done here is this classic let's just get how he's we wanted dylan to be able to identify who dylan is and so that he can go because he's got a lot of exploration And Dylan at 21, some people know at 21, a lot of people don't.
[250] But based on what you're hearing, John, you've heard me do this before.
[251] We've done it together.
[252] There's something there behind what he chose, this idea of, I like ideas, and I want to help people.
[253] And so he came up with maybe helping people find houses, right?
[254] What are your thoughts?
[255] Well, earlier, there's something behind the landscaping and the firefighting, too.
[256] So there's some patterns here.
[257] So let me ask you a strange question, Dylan, and I heard this.
[258] from a guy who has a show his name's Chris Williamson.
[259] And Chris asked this question and I was just scrolling through wasting my life away scrolling and it caught me and it's kind of wormhole its way into my head for the last few weeks.
[260] Here's what it is.
[261] What do you want to want?
[262] And here's the question Chris asked was what if we all spent our energy on what do we actually want to want?
[263] And here's what he means by that.
[264] If you ask me what do you want, John, I would say, well, I want a nicer car because the car I drive is not great.
[265] I want a bigger house.
[266] I want to get promoted here at the office.
[267] I want to get X, Y, and Z. But what do I want to want to want?
[268] I want to want peace in my home.
[269] I want to want to build some time where I can just have some reading time where I've got some time with my kids.
[270] So what must be true for those things to happen?
[271] So you've rattled off server, you rattled off landscape guy, firefighter.
[272] Now you're getting more into like counseling and real estate guys.
[273] What do you want to want, Dylan?
[274] If you could snap your fingers, and I got this from Ken, you can't snap your fingers and you're 29 years old and you have a career and you're surrounded by a family and little ones running around, what career would that be?
[275] What would that look like?
[276] I don't know.
[277] It's really hard to figure out.
[278] I really want to have a lot of freedom in my life.
[279] Yeah, and you want to help people.
[280] Yeah.
[281] Yeah.
[282] So here's an exercise you cannot answer necessarily.
[283] on the air, okay?
[284] But we've been kind of guiding you through this process.
[285] Here's what you have to answer.
[286] Who are the people I most want to help?
[287] So you said that you're good with people.
[288] And so those people skills, you've got to get some self -confidence.
[289] You're dealing with a lot of doubt.
[290] And that is a doubt, to me, is very simply defined as I don't believe something good will happen if I move forward.
[291] That's doubt.
[292] And I think that you've got to answer the question, who are the people I really want to help in work.
[293] And what's the problem that those people have?
[294] And then what are all the solutions through work that will address that problem?
[295] So for instance, if you were sure that firefighting is it, we would say, who are the people I want to help?
[296] People that are in danger.
[297] What's the problem they have?
[298] Their life is on the line.
[299] What's the solution?
[300] Somebody like me stepping in a burning home and pulling them out.
[301] This is the exercise you've got to work through and you're 21.
[302] It's going to take some time to figure that out.
[303] Ken, if I had to go back and talk to my 21 -year -old self, I tell them one thing, chill out.
[304] Because the job you have when you're in your 40s doesn't even exist yet, because YouTube and podcast did not exist when you and I were 21.
[305] However, though, these are the right questions he needs to be asking.
[306] You don't need to be putting pressure on getting the great answer.
[307] What you have to do is use those questions that we just gave you and begin to trust your heart and follow that to you begin to discover things as you never saw before.
[308] This is the Ramsey Show.
[309] Buying your first home is a big deal and sets the stage for your financial success.
[310] So, work with a mortgage advisor you trust, not just some random website.
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