#117 - Eddie Bravo

[0] You were gentle with the sound today too.

[1] Are there people that are on the fence about the fleshlight, but that 15 % I was like, you know, when I heard the 15 % I just jumped on it.

[2] Maybe.

[3] Maybe there's a few frugal masturbators out there.

[4] I ignore 15 % fucking off.

[5] That never makes a difference.

[6] Even when I was broke -ass motherfucker, 15 % off never meant shit.

[7] Really?

[8] And never, not 15.

[9] It ain't going to make me get up out of my fucking chair and call somebody and order some shit.

[10] Oh, it made me. 30.

[11] I'm a member of all the coupon websites.

[12] And if I had a flashlight web 15 % off, fuck yeah.

[13] I'm like free shipping, you know.

[14] That to me is like, oh, I got extra free something.

[15] Whoa.

[16] Okay.

[17] I think everybody thinks differently when it comes to money.

[18] I think you're a lot like me in that you would rather not think about it at all.

[19] I don't want to think about that.

[20] You think about it as much as you have to.

[21] I'm like, well, how much is it?

[22] Would you consider yourself be honest?

[23] It's totally cool.

[24] Would you consider yourself a really big tipper?

[25] Yes.

[26] Oh, really?

[27] Yeah.

[28] Like 20%.

[29] Usually guys are in a cool.

[30] Coupons, I don't know that many of the guys into coupons, but usually guys that are into coupons usually generally don't tip them.

[31] Well, I consider more of like, that's human and, you know, like I'm helping somebody out compared to like, fuck, if I can get $20 off Amazon, I'm going to do that.

[32] Fuck Amazon in the ass.

[33] Yeah, or, you know, Amazon's actually hooking you up and giving you a way to make.

[34] What is the reason for coupons?

[35] I mean, is it just to see what happens when they offer people less money for things?

[36] Well, I don't know.

[37] The grocery stores have changed.

[38] They used to be relying on coupons.

[39] now if you don't if you go to a grocery store without one of those cards you're pretty much paying a good 15 20 % more than you would if you didn't have a card on here what's so what's the benefit in that for them because for those people that aren't uh loyal they just come in and just spend money and i think coupons and like advertising when you put up a billboard and said call now 15 it's just it doesn't mean shit to them it's just a reason to have an ad like they don't have a like a storyline for an ad so let's just say 15 % off we'll blow that up it doesn't really matter it's a reason to get the logo out you know that's make sense that it's sort of like an advertising move yeah but i've always thought it was probably to see like maybe our shit's too expensive maybe we could actually make more money if we sold more of them at a lesser price well it's probably also averages out like if you have a product that's 20 dollars but you could also charge 30 dollars for it then the averages out the people that use the coupons would probably make it more like 25 probably there's like some economics major right now pulling his fucking hair out right now you don't know what you're talking about i know Total morons.

[40] By the way, did we say this is Eddie Bravo?

[41] We just opened, we opened the show with coupons.

[42] holy fuck.

[43] It's a new day.

[44] Ari's not even here.

[45] Yeah, I've never been one to, like, whenever I go to like, Ralphs or something like that, and they always say, you know, Ralph's our local supermarket, do you want to, do you want to have a Ralph's card?

[46] I'm like, no, I don't want another card.

[47] I don't want another card.

[48] If I have a free shake on a Robex card or something, I'll just throw that way you guys are crazy so not good with coupons you start keeping all that stuff in a little bag yeah you got to like worry about it it's a different mindset Eddie and I have this uh it's a modified stoner mindset you get a lot of shit done but you and I are both the same way in that if we don't have to think about something I'm not going to think about it yeah and if it's not going to make a difference in my life yeah I don't give a fine if I'm not going to feel it exactly I'm not going physically feel the difference no come on yeah I need to do that I guess in certain it's good man it helps you you need to save money oh yeah i need to make sure well how about if you just didn't smoke fucking cigarettes cancer boy yeah just throw those fucking things away you'd have a lot of extra money yeah that's a terrible fucking drug man you know that is the number one thing when everybody anyone ever talks anything about politicians caring I just say why the fuck don't they ever talk about cigarettes when was the last time you heard Obama talk about everyone should quit smoking getting on TV talking about the 400 ,000 people sure but doesn't he try to quit or hasn't he?

[49] you tried to quit?

[50] Yeah, everyone has.

[51] You know what?

[52] I'll be honest.

[53] Every now and then I have a cigarette.

[54] I don't have a problem with cigarettes be legal.

[55] Yeah, it's a, you know, every now and then, you know what it does when you get high and you throw a cigarette on top of that after?

[56] You've been having those minutes.

[57] For five minutes, you get like a big head buzz.

[58] That's pretty fucking cool.

[59] You've been having those menthol cigarettes, I can tell.

[60] I really like cigars, and cigars are, you know, essentially it's just pure nicotine that you're smoking, you know?

[61] So it's probably the same buzz that you get off of a cigarette in one way or another.

[62] I don't recommend it, but I have full control of my body.

[63] I've been drinking since I was 14, probably younger than that, and I've never drink alone.

[64] I never, I'm not an alcoholic.

[65] I only drink in social situations, and if I don't drink for four or five months, you know, I'm not an alcoholic.

[66] But you rage hard in social situations.

[67] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[68] I wrote a blog about you, dude.

[69] I'm a temporary drunk.

[70] Yeah, well, what you have is, you, you, you, you, you have the ability to control your impulses.

[71] And even though your impulses might be crazy, you know, you have an ability to put them in check.

[72] Whereas a lot of people, when they start drinking and black out and become another person, those people, they can't just not do it again the next day.

[73] The next day comes around, they have a couple of drinks and they can't step aside.

[74] You can stop at two drinks.

[75] How about the pizza story in Phoenix, remember?

[76] Oh, yeah, man. We were out, okay?

[77] We were hammered.

[78] 2005.

[79] 2005, I did the improv in Phoenix in Tempe, rather.

[80] We had a great old time, went out, got our party on, got a drink on.

[81] We were hammered and we were at a pizza place.

[82] And it's 2 o 'clock in the fucking morning.

[83] And Eddie Bravo was on the Atkins diet.

[84] But he's blackout drunk, blackout drunk.

[85] And he still won't eat his crusts.

[86] Oh, yeah, that's right.

[87] Greasy Tones.

[88] God rest his soul, Gracie Toney.

[89] Grecy Toney passed away last year.

[90] I was fucking committed to that shit.

[91] I also remember your cheat day was ridiculous, though.

[92] You have a Sunday with pizza inside of it, chocolate sauce, anything you think of you're just dudes are famous for the cheat days there's a dude who trains with BJ Penn I apologize I forgot his name he's a wrestler and he would put pictures of his shit online because it was so ridiculous he would go to McDonald's and get a quarter pounder and then he would go to crispy cream and he would cut a donut in half and he put the cheeseburger in between the donut oh man he was just fucking off some food that cheap when you're on the Atkins diet and you're restricting carbs you think about bread like every day sometimes you dream about bread and you're thinking about that Sunday and you're thinking about that Sunday and you're thinking You're thinking about food so much.

[93] Wednesday, I'm like, damn, all that matters to me is just a couple more days.

[94] Hold on.

[95] And I did it for almost three years where I was looking forward to that Sunday.

[96] Oh, man. And when I would wake up and stuff my face and I'm like, it's 11 o 'clock in the morning.

[97] I'm stuffed.

[98] And it's my cheat day.

[99] I've been waiting for this all week.

[100] I want to get hungry again.

[101] I start smoking a lot of pot, getting the cushiest of cushy to come.

[102] Did you ever throw up?

[103] I'm sure I did.

[104] Wow.

[105] I mean, you had to have.

[106] Some of the shit I saw you.

[107] It was just ridiculous.

[108] I even on my fattest day, never ate.

[109] And then I would extend it to Saturday night.

[110] I go, I'm going to start early.

[111] And then for like after a year, Saturday night and all day Sunday.

[112] That's right.

[113] You did extend it.

[114] Yes.

[115] You waited until midnight.

[116] And then I just, and then I did that for about a year.

[117] I would start Saturday night and midnight and just go off, right?

[118] And take it all the way through Sunday.

[119] Then it started Saturday afternoon around six.

[120] UFC, you know, we're eating before the UFC.

[121] Okay.

[122] Okay.

[123] Then it just became, let's just do Saturday and Sunday, and let's not think about it no more.

[124] Let's just wake up Saturday.

[125] Fuck it.

[126] And then when I added Friday night, that's one.

[127] I was like, enough's enough.

[128] It was opposite cheat.

[129] I was like, I'm not going to get crazy with that.

[130] Now I'm not going to suffer.

[131] And I'm like, well, it's not even making a difference now.

[132] Yeah, you were doing that for a long time.

[133] I missed those days.

[134] That was fun.

[135] But you were so insane with it.

[136] I was a machine.

[137] Very disciplined.

[138] Very disciplined.

[139] Yeah, you would just eat lettuce.

[140] I remember you were eating bunny food.

[141] We're just eating chop for a long time.

[142] People thought, I lost so much weight.

[143] People thought, I remember at Abu Dhabi 2005, like people on the internet were saying that, man, is he a heroin?

[144] Because Hensso said something.

[145] Hensos said something like on the internet where they thought I was on, like, drugs.

[146] Were you growing your hair out then?

[147] No, no. You hadn't done that yet.

[148] No, no. It was spiking the way it is now.

[149] And I was really skinny.

[150] It was from the Atkins diet, and people at Abu Dhabi thought I was on heroin.

[151] That's a true story People were on the underground talking shit Oh, he's looking at heroin It looks like shit The crazy thing is how much you train You train a lot But you would eat so bad That you would gain weight You would just go off Burritos and you would just go off Yeah So now I'm like on a diet Like part of the day Part of the day How much of the day?

[152] A good 65, 70 % Well as long as you just maintain You know It's when you let yourself go And then you got to get fucking skin again.

[153] That's what happens with dudes.

[154] It happens with girls.

[155] It happens with everybody.

[156] The hardest thing is getting back in shape.

[157] It's not staying in shape.

[158] Staying in shape is not that bad.

[159] You get some momentum, you keep it going.

[160] The one thing to tell me a lot, though, is my girlfriend cooks for me all the time now.

[161] She moved in, so I rarely go out.

[162] Before, man, in the middle of Hollywood, I had choices.

[163] That was all night.

[164] You want Carl's Jr.?

[165] You want Jack in a Box?

[166] You can get Wendy's all night.

[167] There's so much Taco Bells right there.

[168] You have so many choices in it.

[169] All I got to do is get in my car.

[170] And what got me fat was the place I lived up before, it was terrible parking.

[171] Sometimes you had to park four blocks down the street just to get a parking.

[172] So if I had a good parking, when I got home after Jiu -Jitsu, I didn't want to lose that parking, it wasn't worth it.

[173] That Carl's Jr. was not worth losing my parking.

[174] But then once I got my own official parking, man, you could leave it any time, just right there at three in the morning, ready to go yeah that's right your place used to be brutal for parking yeah yeah miss that shit how do people live like that that sucks my friend lives like that and i'm thinking like what if you had to poop really bad and you couldn't find a parking spot and you was like stick your pants it's like what we were talking about with uh all the area around the improv that everywhere you go on those side streets it's all residential only parking and like you're literally not even allowed to park there they're just they're just saying sorry even though this is the street there's no room for regular people you have to live here to park you your fucking car here because we fucked up and we put too many people in one spot you can't park that's ridiculous man that's the worst thing in the world about when you do sets in Hollywood I used to park my car in the improv I used to let the valets park it but they let some fucking chick she was she was drunk man and she fucked up my car she just she was pulling it out of a spot and you know it was a really tight little area and she just turned her wheel and hit the gas and just jacked my fucking car and she didn't have no insurance and I'm like why am I I'm not in these people park my car.

[175] They're obviously not looking after my shit.

[176] So I stopped doing that.

[177] You know, that reminded me of back in, like, 2002, when you tore your knee and you couldn't drive your NSX and I had to drive it for you.

[178] Oh, yeah, you weren't so mad at me. He was really mad at me. He wasn't really mad at you.

[179] He kept, like, putting it in neutral in the highway and then dropping it down.

[180] It was an NSX.

[181] It had a lot of horsepower, man. I wasn't used to it.

[182] I was driving caravans and shit up to that point.

[183] That's hilarious.

[184] to Ford Couriers.

[185] Eddie was so funny because I've never been seen someone so like breaking down the effect the car has on girls.

[186] His knee just tore.

[187] He's sitting in his car.

[188] I'm trying to help him and he's fucking he's got pain here and he's like fuck he's grinding my clutch he's fucking my clutch up and his knee I'm taking him to like emergencies not surgery.

[189] We had to go to get an MRI.

[190] Yeah.

[191] The doctor gave an MRI immediately.

[192] Were he screaming on the top of your lungs because I went my fuck my knee up I was just screaming in tears.

[193] I've had a bunch of different knee injuries, but the most painful one is ironically the one that healed the quickest.

[194] That's the meniscus one.

[195] Once they did the meniscus surgery, it was like six weeks later.

[196] I was on the mat again.

[197] But when I had my ACL torn, both times it's not that painful, not nearly as painful.

[198] The meniscus is what's really painful.

[199] The ACL just kind of snaps, and it's fucked and it hurts a little bit, and then you can't, your legs wobbling.

[200] You're like, what the fuck?

[201] And then you go to a doctor and they go, you don't have a ligament anymore.

[202] You have to get an artificial ligament put in place.

[203] and it takes six months before you totally heal up.

[204] But the pain is nothing.

[205] It's like it's not that big a deal.

[206] The pain of the meniscus tear, I had what's called a bucket handle tear.

[207] And it's called a bucket handle because you know how a bucket handle can like flip up and it can like stop like in the center, in the center position?

[208] Well, that's what it's like.

[209] It's like the handle of a bucket.

[210] It like literally peels up and gets locked in place.

[211] So the sliver of meniscus is locked and it's tearing and it's just excruciating fucking like soft tissue pain.

[212] It's really pain.

[213] I had, I don't know, know what this is called where the top bone in the bottom bone like I twist my leg weird and it hit each other like the thing in the middle I guess the knee socket or something snapped out of place and the top bone hit the bottom bone and then snapped right back.

[214] Didn't you see it's still fucked up like it still wobbles on me?

[215] Yeah it's still feels like it's going to happen again all the time like I'm so paranoid because when that happened I was filming a home video and when I in the video you just hear me scream like like bloody mary and then uh bloody mary bloody murder and then i'm thinking of a different thing get that video and then post it yeah you have that shit it's it's one of those uh videos my dad has on some vhs tape somewhere i need to fucking scow your dad's closets we need to have a video for this story son yeah i never finished the video too so um you did you break a ligament do you know he said he said that i mean this was a long time ago but he said it you know he told me what happened and i had to wear like this cast thing for a long time uh maybe like six months or something something like that.

[216] Ever since then.

[217] Six months, Yeah, it was a while.

[218] Wow.

[219] Yeah, the body is so goddamn fragile.

[220] I was in, we were in Pittsburgh and we were watching dudes on motorcycles with no helmets.

[221] They don't have a helmet law there.

[222] Just watching them drive around.

[223] Like, God, you silly fuck.

[224] Like, your body's so fragile.

[225] You don't even know.

[226] If you knew what could happen to your head if you hit the ground, would you be willing to row those dice?

[227] Would you really be willing to just get on a bike with a bunch of, bunch of people and trust them not to slam into you trust them not to smash your fucking head off the concrete really you're gonna just trust him the problem with motorcycles is that the reason you get it is because you want chicks to see you on the motorcycle in the helmet they can't see you so that's why those harley guys they like had found a loophole they just put a little cap on the fucking top yeah they want their face exposed man it always goes to that with you it always goes to it's got to be that chicks dude we're in that nsx i'm in fucking pain and and Eddie's driving and dropping it down a fourth gear on the highway.

[228] And she doesn't know what the fuck he's doing, right?

[229] And while he's looking around, he's like, damn, Chicks are looking at me, man. Girls are looking at me. They never look at me in my fucking Bronco.

[230] Dude, bitches are looking at me. Look at that bitch right there.

[231] She's looking at me, man. She's looking at me right now.

[232] Explore.

[233] Explore, I'm sorry.

[234] Dude, when we would drive your barracuda, the big fish or catfish.

[235] Sick fish.

[236] Sick fish.

[237] Old men wanted to suck your death.

[238] They were like pulling up going, oh, everybody that was.

[239] You know, have you ever been in his car driving around?

[240] Oh, yeah.

[241] Everybody says, holy shit, like 15 -year -old dudes that are rappers and shit look over and trip out, you know?

[242] It's too ridiculous.

[243] It's too much.

[244] It sounds like a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

[245] It sounded like machine guns going off.

[246] Yeah.

[247] How does it sound?

[248] Do it?

[249] I forget.

[250] No, it's a lot low.

[251] You used to have that tyrant.

[252] My friend just did a photo shoot with a kit from the original Knight Rider car from the 80s, though.

[253] A photo shoot?

[254] Yeah.

[255] Yeah.

[256] And I was like thinking, wow, some guy owns kit and he rins it out like some i think it's an asian businessman and he rins it out and i'm thinking wow they actually let kit mix with porn that's weird to me i guess they don't have control over kit's image anymore yeah isn't that weird though yeah i think after 25 years you it's like public domain or something right some things are right on some movies public domain like books are public domain yeah oh yeah like huck fan yeah how many how many years is it before If the only movies are, they're Kung Fu Theater.

[257] I think you can do anything you want with those money.

[258] You can start your own TV station and just put nothing but Kung Fu Ther.

[259] And nobody would do shit.

[260] It costs, dude, it costs more to just keep the license going than if they're worth.

[261] Really?

[262] So no one owns them, literally.

[263] You can't, nobody, yeah, nobody owns them.

[264] Really?

[265] Nobody owns it, the public domain.

[266] How many movies do you think?

[267] Dude, I'm not an expert in this, but I'm pretty damn sure.

[268] There's a public It's their public domain You've got to get this shit Registered every 25 years or so And if there's no one there to register And most of those guys are in China And they're dead from like The triads and shit Nobody's a lot that knows I had a friend of mine from my old Taekwondo days My friend Larry Jones Larry Jones was a fiend For Chinese Kung Fu movies And he would always go And he would like come to the gym the next day Oh man I saw this bad ass Showling these Shaolin seven month he would like every week it would be some new fucking kung fu movie that he just saw and loved and he would get together with a bunch of his friends from the gym and they would all go watch these kung fu movies they get excited and watch these there was like real fighters they were going to watch these shitty kung fu movies and i tried to watch him i never got into i tried man i sat down with him i trying to watch him that's the problem anybody who got bruce lee first is not into kung fu theater i don't think so how could you i tried you know what i think i don't know what it is really that's just my guess but After seeing Bruce Lee, you're like, fuck these guys.

[269] Everyone's trying to...

[270] I mean, there was Bruce Lies out there.

[271] That was Bruce Lies.

[272] It was more than one, right?

[273] How many Bruce Lies were there?

[274] How famous was he?

[275] Yes.

[276] Was he famous?

[277] Like in China?

[278] Was he going to the club, popping bottles?

[279] You know what I mean?

[280] For a couple years, he probably got laid.

[281] He was like Dan Cortez.

[282] That's how dumb these people think the people are.

[283] That they could just put a fake Bruce Lee up and a good percentage of them are not even going to know the difference.

[284] Is it because he was almost playing a game?

[285] character would you think like maybe like he was almost like a james bond well when they put out game of death they only had 10 minutes of that movie with bruce lee true the whole movie is not bruce lee it's a if you watch game of death the beginning is but they the beginning of game of death is the end of return of the dragon they start with the chuck north fight so it looks like a bruce lee movie right but that's another movie so they replayed that scene again the exact same in the beginning that's how the movie starts the only thing that's bruce lee is the end Where he goes up and fights.

[286] Fights Cream Abdul -Jabbar.

[287] He goes, that's all him.

[288] But everything, the whole movie is an imposter.

[289] I need to see that.

[290] Wow.

[291] I need to see that again, too.

[292] Dude, it's Havarius.

[293] And there's, in the beginning, there's a scene where the fake Bruce Lee sitting at his dressing room, because this is how they started it.

[294] They start the movie with the fight with Chuck Norris in Return of the Dragon.

[295] Right.

[296] And then the movie is about a famous martial arts superstar loosely based on Bruce Lee.

[297] So once all the credits are over and the fight's over, they go cut and then fake Bruce Lee walks off set like all of a sudden that was just a movie that fight scene and it's about a famous actor and the Chinese tribes are trying to control him or whatever so from that point on it's a fake Bruce Lee the whole time he's sitting in his dressing room he's talking to this guy this mafia guy and they put a picture a still picture like right where his head's at there's a still picture so it's a picture a picture of Bruce a picture of Bruce Lee on a you could see the guy's shoulders are moving it's a moving picture that's how bad it was Wow God, I want to see this Everyone believed it I was seven years old When that shit came up And did you know the difference?

[298] I didn't know the difference Wow They fooled me They fooled the kids Well maybe back then That special effect Actually fooled the adults too And the whole movie He's got big shades on And they never get any close It's always from the side He's got big shades on it Wow I wonder how much that movie cost Buck Fitty How much does that cost to make And they probably made A fuck load of money With it too right Because people probably thought It was a major movie They didn't have fucking Yelp back then.

[299] They didn't have Fandora.

[300] You know what I mean?

[301] You can't find out how bad a movie was by just going online.

[302] Like now you find out real quick if a movie's a piece of shit.

[303] It could be out a couple hours and people were already freaking out about it.

[304] Even before, because people get screeners.

[305] They get previews before.

[306] People go to previews.

[307] You can't sneak a shitty movie through anymore.

[308] But back in that day, I bet it took weeks before everybody figured out that movie sucked.

[309] Game of Death?

[310] To kids, I thought it was great because the end is a classic.

[311] It's still Bruce Lee.

[312] The end is strong.

[313] He fights Dan Nassano, Kareem Abdul -Jabar, some Taekwondo guy.

[314] All that shit's beautiful.

[315] Yeah, that was pretty badass.

[316] And that's really the only scene people like remember when they watch it as a kid.

[317] You remember, remember a Game of Death?

[318] He's fighting Kareem Abdul -Jabbar.

[319] It's really all you remember.

[320] You don't remember all the bullshit in the middle.

[321] All the fake shit.

[322] But when me and my friends are talking about the best Bruce Lee move ever, to what the best Bruce Lee was actually done by the fake Bruce Lee a guy was holding him a guy was holding him like this he came from behind and held him and the fake Bruce Lee did a back flip kicked him and landed back on his feet it was a fake Bruce Lee the fake Bruce Lee from Game of Death the guy was holding him like this he was behind him and he did a backflip kicked him and then landed on his feet I wonder if that one dude if that he still goes around you remember that scene you remember Game of death.

[323] He looked like Bruce Lee.

[324] It's not Bruce Lee.

[325] It's me. We need a documentary on the fake Bruce Lee.

[326] Bruce lie, like all of them.

[327] Well, we need a documentary on the guy who did that flip.

[328] But that was cuts in it.

[329] So it wasn't like one thing, you know.

[330] That was some cuts in it.

[331] So it wasn't just some wild kamikaze type shit.

[332] But that wasn't in the top three of best Bruce Lee moves ever, and it wasn't even him.

[333] When I met Chuck Norris, it was one of the few times in my life where I was genuinely freaked out.

[334] Like, I'm shaking his hand.

[335] I'm going to meet him.

[336] And he knows who I'm.

[337] I am.

[338] He's talking to me. And I'm like, holy shit, this is Chuck Norris.

[339] Like, this is really Chuck Norris.

[340] And the thing I thought about was that movie with him and Bruce Lee.

[341] I'm like, this motherfucker fought Bruce Lee in a movie.

[342] You know what I'm saying?

[343] I mean, that is a crazy scene, too.

[344] He's like the badass karate guy and Bruce Lee and him go at it.

[345] Holy shit, that was a good scene.

[346] It was hard to top Bruce Lee.

[347] Just his face.

[348] I used to like Chuck Norris because Chuck Norris was down with Bruce Lee because by association I'm like even though Chuck Norris wasn't as dynamic as Bruce Lee, he was still in a Bruce Lee movie, you know and there was some cool shit about him because he was American and he wore cowboy boots and a fucking cowboy hat and he jacked guys up sort of like a karate but American style, you know I thought he was all right.

[349] It was all right.

[350] Lowell, McQuaid, him and David Caradine.

[351] Come on, son.

[352] Do you remember Billy Jack?

[353] Yes, I do.

[354] Do you know.

[355] The cowboy with a roundhouse kicks like he was known for his roundhouse?

[356] Remember he would tell the guy, to put this foot upside your head and there's not a thing you can do about it I remember thinking at the time wow that is fucking a white guy talking shit but he wasn't really white he was American Indian nobody under 30 remembers Billy Jack nobody nobody and Billy Jack like there was always these hippie bitches that were like around him bothering him all the time you know he would like take care of the hippies and he was like half Indian or something wasn't he?

[357] I don't fucking know something along that would be cool if Chuck Norris flew around in Airwolf You know, like that was his modes of transportation.

[358] If he flew around in a giant helicopter?

[359] From the 80s.

[360] Remember those?

[361] Did we ever talk about those?

[362] It seems like we did.

[363] Where helicopters were really popular in the 80s and there was like blue thunder, air wolf.

[364] And there was all these sitcoms about helicopters.

[365] Drama shows.

[366] Drama shows.

[367] Yeah, what the fuck was that about?

[368] It's like, you know, it's like sort of we were talking about Night Rider, a fucking, you know, a show about a car.

[369] Right.

[370] But at least that car talked.

[371] This back then was just like, no, that's just a bad.

[372] ass helicopter.

[373] Remember it was Roy Schreider using blue thunder?

[374] Yeah, blue thunder.

[375] They're a fucking stupid movie about a giant helicopter.

[376] Crazy.

[377] What the fuck, man?

[378] It's amazing when you go back just a couple of decades and look at the shit that people are willing to tolerate.

[379] People were so stupid.

[380] You know, if you want evolution, man, you need look no further than human television.

[381] Look at TV shows from like the 50s.

[382] Go try to watch like Andy Rooney.

[383] I was watching a clip online.

[384] It was from the Griffith show and it was Jack Nicholson Jack Nicholson was playing a bad guy and Ron Howard was in it when he was a little boy Opie?

[385] Yeah, when he was Opie.

[386] Before he was Opie.

[387] Pre -Ope?

[388] Pre -Opey.

[389] Wow.

[390] What was he?

[391] He was Opie on Happy Days?

[392] Yes.

[393] What was he on the other show?

[394] On the Andy Griffith show?

[395] He was the little brat kid.

[396] He was a little boy.

[397] He's a little boy.

[398] And Jack Nicholson is there and it's like, it's who's fucking phone is on?

[399] And it's so stupid.

[400] It's just so obviously dumb, you know?

[401] It's like if you had it on today, you would just start throwing shit at the TV.

[402] You go, what the fuck kind of acting is?

[403] What the fuck kind of shows us?

[404] Who wrote this stupid thing?

[405] But back then, that shit flew.

[406] That was entertainment.

[407] I can't watch fucking anything in black and white, except for Twilight Zone.

[408] I can still watch that because it didn't have, they never had, they sometimes had happy endings, but you never knew if it was going to be a bad ending, sad ending, happy ending.

[409] I love that.

[410] But one show, 99 .9 of everything back then, to me, in my opinion, suck.

[411] You're right.

[412] I love Lucy.

[413] Every now and then you watch that, there was some clever writing, and I love Lucy.

[414] I mean, that thing stood the test of time.

[415] You're still showing it now.

[416] It's still on now.

[417] You're right.

[418] Most things suck, but there's a few that really stand out still, like, The Hustler.

[419] You ever watch The Hustler with Jackie Gleason and Paul Newman?

[420] Oh, the movie.

[421] Yeah, with Who the Fuck Played Burt, the guy from shit, I forget, but a very famous actor as well.

[422] And it's fucking incredible Piper Lorry, you know that woman, she played a chick in the movie.

[423] It's a fucking great story.

[424] It's a good well -acted movie, and it's from like 1963.

[425] Like, there's a few.

[426] Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

[427] That's Elizabeth Taylor back when she was hot as fuck.

[428] Elizabeth Taylor was hot as fuck back then.

[429] And Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf is a badass fucking movie.

[430] That completely holds the test of time.

[431] If you watch that movie today, you'd be like, well, that was a good goddamn movie.

[432] And it was like from 1960 or something like that.

[433] There's a few movies from back then where they really nailed it.

[434] They really got it right.

[435] Do you remember that movie?

[436] I forget the name of it.

[437] It had, I think, Joe Piscopo, during his big, when he was kind of famous in the early 80s.

[438] And it used to have, like, this little documentary in the middle of Johnny Dangerously.

[439] Is that the name of it?

[440] Yeah, Johnny Dangerously was, what the fuck is his name?

[441] Joe Piscopo?

[442] Yeah, Joe Pishapo, and what was the other guy?

[443] The guy was Batman, the first Batman.

[444] Michael Keating?

[445] Yeah, and remember the cartoon, as a kid, I remember.

[446] thinking how cool this was that you're a penis in you and it was like this animated cartoon of this penis and two balls walking around and stuff i don't remember that all yeah you gotta check out this penis sometime it's pretty good george c scott was the other guy who was in the hustler it's a fucking great movie and that's 1961 man it's not even 63 61 they were idiots back then god damn they were stupid really man i mean it's it's a good movie but even though it's a good movie you could still tell, like how goofy people were back then.

[447] Look at Richard Nixon.

[448] You watch him talk.

[449] If you're bullshit radar doesn't go off when you're watching Richard Nixon, just any kind of speech.

[450] It's like George W. Bush.

[451] Same thing.

[452] That's what I was going to say.

[453] If you, yeah, if you can't say that because of Bush.

[454] The real problem with dumb politicians is just a lot of fucking dumb people out there, man. Yeah.

[455] That's and George W. Bush is the master.

[456] For sure, he's the master of the dummies.

[457] But Richard Nixon was pretty bad, too.

[458] Everyone else is not that bad.

[459] Bill Clinton, smooth.

[460] Obama's smooth as hell.

[461] Even Ronald Reagan was smooth as hell.

[462] You know, Richard Carter, he sounds like he's a smart guy.

[463] Richard Carter.

[464] Jimmy Carter.

[465] Richard Carter.

[466] Yeah, you know, that fucking guy.

[467] By the way, Opie Ridge.

[468] Richard Nixon, he just, he sounded like a smart guy, but he was, oh, he sounded paranoid and insincere in everything he said.

[469] Richard Nixon?

[470] Richard Nixon.

[471] Yeah, he was a piece of shit.

[472] He was a terrible person.

[473] He was one of those guys that got away with shit back in the time Where you could get away with anything You know, the days before they killed Kennedy You know, till Nixon's era And, you know, you go deep into Reagan People were getting away with all kinds of crazy shit That you can never get away with now You know, and they got away with a lot of dirty fucking politics back then too What Nixon did was totally standard stuff What he got impeached for at Watergate Was something they all did, man We've been doing that to the Russians forever You know, I have a buddy I guess we shouldn't say his name who used to work for the U .S. Embassy in Russia.

[474] And he would find all these, it was like standard.

[475] They would find all these audio detection devices all over the place or audio recording devices.

[476] Oh, that's crazy.

[477] Where the Russians were listening into them.

[478] They found these Russians things that they made were so complicated that they operated on the swaying of the building, that that's what powered them.

[479] The swaying of the building back and forth actually charged them up and power.

[480] them.

[481] Wow.

[482] So they had no external source of power.

[483] These were like, this was so complicated.

[484] He's like, when they found that stuff, he was like, we didn't even know this shit existed.

[485] So that's been standard.

[486] People have been spying on people and listening into people.

[487] That's just what they do.

[488] Every fucking politician, every president did it.

[489] You don't think Kennedy did it.

[490] You know, everybody likes to look at Kennedy like he's this rosy, you know, beautiful figure from our liberal back, you know, liberal past.

[491] But Kennedy's family was all fucking moonshine runners.

[492] They made.

[493] made all their money selling illegal booze.

[494] And there was all sorts of people that were, just like the Tea Party people are today trying to get rid of Obama and going crazy about the democratically elected president, the Democrat president rather.

[495] They were doing the same thing for Kennedy.

[496] They were wanted for treason and they'd make posters with Kennedy's face on it.

[497] Nobody likes to think about that shit because it happened so long ago.

[498] And what about the fact that he was, out of all the presidents that have ever existed, he's the one who had the worst reputation as far as womanizing?

[499] Oh, yeah.

[500] Dude, if they found out what he was doing today, he was probably just straight Clinton and bitches.

[501] More than Clinton.

[502] You think he was?

[503] I don't, I don't, I shouldn't say Clinton in because what a Clinton, Clinton move is, Clinton moves, you get a girl alone and just whip your cock out.

[504] You know, and then they scream and fucking run away from you and freak out and you go to jail.

[505] That's a Clinton move.

[506] He's the only president that probably rocked it that way.

[507] He probably, he's probably Obamaing that shit.

[508] You know what they should do?

[509] You know what they should do?

[510] You know what they should be smart.

[511] If they're going to fuck around with these interns, offer them and their family a spot in the underground cities when shit goes down they ain't gonna say shit Eddie Brown was a firm believer in the underground cities they're building them it's not like that much of a secret oh yeah I mean I've seen I've seen underground bunkers and bases and shit like that but you're a believer in that shit like you want to go there if the shit goes down I'm trying to teach Jiu Jitsu to CIA agents to hook me up give me a couple BIP passes dude the moment the moment the first the first atomic bomb blows or the first asteroid hits, I want to be under that thing.

[512] I want to be at the epicenter, wherever that bomb goes off.

[513] I want to be at the part where all they find of you is a shadow.

[514] That's what I want to be.

[515] I want to be right there.

[516] Fuck that.

[517] I'm not down with some Mad Max shit.

[518] I don't want to be killing people with axes and stuff.

[519] Imagine being sick, not having hospitals to go to.

[520] Fuck that.

[521] Yeah, that's going to definitely suck.

[522] I agree with you there.

[523] But if the bomb drops in New Mexico and we're feeling the fall out here but you're still live what do you do like blow your head up no no look i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna follow my human instincts and keep on keeping on but if i had to choose between living a life of fucking cancer and radiation and zombies or getting hit in the head by a meteor i'll take getting hit in the head by a media what's your take on the zombie situation it's funny how many fucking shows and movies and things there's people that believe they're real there's radio shows where they're talking about preparing against zombies well yeah i mean what the reason why is because we know about so many parasitic animals in the animal kingdom that change the host and turn the host into something that it's not.

[524] We know of, there's a aquatic worm we've talked about before, take a drink if you're playing the podcast drinking game, we've talked about it before, reprograms a grasshopper's brain, this aquatic worm, it infest the grasshopper, reprograms its brain, and then convinces the grasshopper to drown, convinces it to jump into water and drown so that it can be born, and it busts out of this thing's body cavity.

[525] It makes it commit suicide.

[526] So we know that there's all sorts of parasites that change the host and get the host to do their bidding.

[527] And we also know about rabies.

[528] We know that, you know, dogs get rabies.

[529] That's a rapist.

[530] They're dead.

[531] You got to kill that dog.

[532] They don't even cure them.

[533] You can't cure a dog from rabies.

[534] You got to kill that fucking thing.

[535] And if you get rabies, you could die too.

[536] So rabies will turn a dog into a vicious fucking animal, like your own pet.

[537] I had a dog that had distemper once.

[538] And he tried to bite me, man, a doberman pincher.

[539] Doberman pitcher snapping at me. I was like 12 years old.

[540] I was stuck in my living room with this dog that was sick and I realized like halfway through like looking at this dog's eyes there's something wrong here I'm like this thing is really gonna get me this is my dog my dog's gonna kill me I really thought I was gonna kill me we had to get the dog put down scary shit people that are dead they're buried and then they crawl out of the dirt those people are retarded that's not gonna happen that's not a zombie like that but what could happen is you know look there's all these people that are getting their heads chopped off and frozen you know about all that cryogenics you know about all that shit yes I've heard about it well there's people that are getting their whole body's frozen as well like Walt Disney did apparently they freeze your whole body and so that one day they can bring you back and then regenerate your body tissue I believe it well that might be when zombies happen because maybe your soul's long gone and all of a sudden you just got this tissue with no consciousness that needs food all the time and eats anything in front of it and just grab a person and just start eating you if you don't feed it's why I don't want to be cremated that's the exact reason I want to come back to life as a zombie and totally You want to do that and kill people?

[541] I'm not going to kill people.

[542] I could be a cool zombie.

[543] Zombies all live on human flesh, bro.

[544] Do you not listen to the movie?

[545] Pay attention?

[546] What about the soul comes back?

[547] I got to go back.

[548] Walt Disney's going to be alive in a couple seconds.

[549] I got to go back.

[550] Maybe there would be the first generation of people that came back with a memory of the afterlife.

[551] When Kenny died, he came back.

[552] Yeah.

[553] Remember when he's playing video games in heaven to kill the Mormons?

[554] Right.

[555] Yeah, but Kenny died like a lot of life.

[556] a hundred times.

[557] That's ridiculous.

[558] But within the episode, he came back to that.

[559] That's never happened.

[560] Oh.

[561] Oh, really?

[562] Yeah.

[563] Hmm.

[564] Yeah, every week he just came back and no one said a word about it.

[565] Robot chicken, they had an episode where Walt Disney comes back to life and he became like this monster that just ate Puerto Rican babies.

[566] That's pretty funny.

[567] The real possibility is the possibility that was expressed in that 28 days later.

[568] That someone comes out with some fucking genetically altered super virus that attacks the human body and literally turns, you into some fucking freaky crazed monster animal thing like those 28 days later guys yeah those fucking movies were awesome man especially 28 weeks later was okay it was all right it was pretty good it's pretty good but it was following one of the greatest horror movies of all time you know there was no way it could fucking really top that that that thought is very terrifying to people the thought that one day you wake up and the whole world's fucked and there's people out there when you're sleeping they're coming and they have axes and shit and they want to eat you.

[569] You know, I mean, that's, that's, it's a terrible fucking thought.

[570] The thought that, you know, people eating human flesh, you know, it's been documented very recently that they think that it was, uh, it was done like ritualistically for thousands and thousands of years and that people have been eating people like whether they, they killed them in battle or that small children, they found small children with tool marks on their bodies that they're positive inside their brains, that in the brain cavity, that they're positive with someone scooping and scraping out their brains and cutting off their meat and eating it.

[571] So people have been, yeah, people have been praying on other people for forever.

[572] Look, man, when people are starving to death, you know, if you're living like thousands and thousands of years before written language, and people are starving to death, and you're a bunch of fucking skin -wearing savages, and you look over the hill and there's a bunch of other skin -wearing savages, you look back at your babies that are screaming in agony because there's no food in their body, and you say, I'm just going to go kill these motherfuckers and eat them.

[573] And people did that shit.

[574] I bet they did that shit all the time.

[575] They probably ate their own babies too.

[576] They did eat their.

[577] I'm sure they did.

[578] Animals do it all the time.

[579] If animals do it, for sure, somewhere, a human, before it became the human being of circa 2011, for sure, someone did everything that an animal's done.

[580] Animals always eat babies.

[581] I had hamsters, man. And they got a wet tail, I think is what it's called.

[582] It's a disease.

[583] I was a little kid.

[584] And all of a sudden, our sweet mama hamster started eating her fucking baby.

[585] man and eating them brains first like just attacking the brain my mom was like get out of the room I don't want you seeing this get out of here and I had a peek in and see and this fucking hamster's just holding on to her babies and just brain are you kidding oh dude it was fucking deep man that was a real thing dude it was deep it was so hard to watch I was I couldn't believe what I was seeing this mama hamster that I always loved you know we had the mama and the you know and the baby boy and they got together and they made babies and the babies somehow and her they got this fucking disease and the mother just killed them in front of us killed them and ate them bro it was fucked i never looked at that bitch the same way again she was no longer my friend i'm like you or you're you're you're rocking it to a different set of rules you know i can't really i can't just pick you up and pet you now i want to bash your brains on the sidewalk you fucking creep you baby eating creep you know what the fuck man did you ever have those balls where you put the hamster in and it would like go around the circle and stuff like that yeah you know I rolled around and everything.

[586] I was so mad at my sister once, and I didn't know she had her hamster in the ball.

[587] And so I'm like, but how do I take this?

[588] And I kicked it really hard thinking I was just going to break the ball.

[589] The hamster just flew right out of it, though.

[590] And it was okay, but it was the most scariest thing ever.

[591] It lived?

[592] Yeah, but it was so gross.

[593] As you know when you're a kid and you see something disgusting, and you're just like, I'm not going to look at it?

[594] How durable hamsters?

[595] How durable hamsters?

[596] This motherfucker's filming a video, and he falls down, screaming like a little bitch just because he twisted your knee in a funny way and this hamster you kick it across the room and it's okay and a ball doesn't even need to go to the doctor yeah hamsters so speaking of people and their affection for animals I was in Pittsburgh this last weekend for the UFC and it was the same time as a furry convention and I don't know if you're aware of this because I certainly as fuck wasn't I had heard of the term furry I'd heard it like very, very abstractly.

[597] I never sat down and had a conversation with anyone about it.

[598] It was just something that I'd maybe heard on the news or maybe saw, you know, an article on the internet or something that I never paid attention.

[599] I was like, oh, there's some people that have a thing about wearing animal clothes and maybe they have sex with animal clothes on.

[600] I had no idea of the depth of this hobby.

[601] Or I don't know what the fuck you would call it, you know, this fascination, this thing that these people.

[602] people have and this is what the fairy does what a furry is is they want to look like a cartoon animal like bugs bunny i think the terms anthropomorphic anthropomorphic and what that means is you know human characteristics in an animal's body and so they like like wily coyote because he stands up straight and looks like a person you know like that's the shit they're into so they dress in these costumes that make them look like animated cartoon people that are animals you know like dog costumes and fox costumes and coyote costumes they look like mascots or things from like an amusement park mascots is the perfect way to describe them they look like mascots and i guess a lot of them are wearing mascot outfits that's what that's where they get these things from and they all they do the whole weekend is get together and play like they're animals they don't talk they have their own language of like grunts and certain things that means certain noises like they've created like a sub language, like a fake language.

[603] And when they were staying at the Weston Hotel in Pittsburgh, they sold out every fucking room in the hotel.

[604] Okay?

[605] So there's like 600 rooms in Pittsburgh at the Western.

[606] They're all furries, and they requested a giant litter box in the front lobby.

[607] They requested that the Weston put in a fucking litter box.

[608] So this is what these people do.

[609] They go and get litter boxes, and they bring them up in their room, and they take shits in their litter boxes.

[610] They don't use the toilet.

[611] it and they don't wash they like to if you don't wash you stink like an animal and that's what they're trying to do they're trying to smell like animals not all of them some of them is it mostly dudes no no no there's women in it too there's varying degrees of depth to how far you go into this thing I don't know you can't see they're wearing this fucking crazy outfit the whole time yeah you don't know what their bodies look like man they don't talk so you don't know you just know she's wearing a girl's outfit so you assume it's a girl and they have sex with their outfits on and they have a the opening in their crotch, they're like undo it, a Velcro or zipper, or whatever the fuck they do, whip their shit out and just bang each other right there with their outfits on.

[612] They fuck all the time.

[613] They fuck crazy.

[614] Yeah, my girlfriend's actually, before I even heard about this, my girlfriend's been actually recently trying to get me to go to our furry party.

[615] And she's like, you know, we won't have to have sex with anybody else and no one will know who you are.

[616] And we can just fuck.

[617] It's like an orgy by a bunch of furries.

[618] Your girlfriend wants you to bang her in front of a bunch of other freaks that aren't showering and they're shitting in litter boxes and they're wearing, and she's just for the experience and I part of me almost would do it because no one would know who you are you know and stuff like that and you see all these other but I think just seeing a bunch of people fucking in costumes like that would be worth it I don't know it's like so bad some of them wore diapers too that's the other guy at the counter at the hotel was saying that it's a real horror show excuse me a real horror show for the maids the poor maids go in there after these freaks have left these litter boxes and bowls of milk everywhere They order bowls of milk from the hotel And they have them bring it up And like in a giant bowl And they drink it out of a bowl Like a dog Yeah I'd be a bunny Yeah I would be a bunny You would be a bunny You're into rabbits Oh I'd be a cat Eddie looks into my backyard And he sees his rabbit running around And he's like Oh my God Look it's a bunny You got a bunny And he runs and chases it And you're like Oh he's so sweet I love bunnies bro That's so funny People would think that that's a joke No that's for real man Do you think you could kill a bunny to eat it?

[619] Of course you could.

[620] Fuck, no. If I was starving, maybe.

[621] No, man. I don't even like those people.

[622] People say rabbit stew jokes and all that shit.

[623] I don't think that's funny.

[624] Really?

[625] You really have that much of an affection for rabbits?

[626] Man, that's a little loving creature, man. I mean, we have a relationship going on.

[627] And, man, I love that fucking thing, man. I love rabbits.

[628] They look so cute.

[629] They're so fucking beautiful.

[630] And you know what?

[631] They don't, they don't meow.

[632] They don't bark.

[633] They don't make any noise.

[634] noise and they love massages, man. Who doesn't love massages?

[635] But you know what cats?

[636] But cats love massages and they're more, they ask for it.

[637] They're more flamboyant in the way they ask for it.

[638] But you pet, I pet a cat for, I have two cats.

[639] I pet them for 30 seconds to a minute.

[640] They're gone.

[641] They don't want to massage no more.

[642] Not the bunny.

[643] He's willing to go all night.

[644] I could pet him.

[645] He ain't going nowhere.

[646] You know my cat, spas.

[647] That cat, you could pet that cat for a hundred days in a row.

[648] Oh, really?

[649] Oh, not my cat.

[650] My cat, I pet him for 30 seconds.

[651] It's on how they're raised.

[652] If they're raised with people all the time, like my cat's been with me since she was a kitten.

[653] So from the time she was little, it's all like, meow, what you up, meo, meow?

[654] And pets, and every day it's affection.

[655] So she associates people with affection.

[656] But if you, you know, you're around a cat and you just go to work all day and you barely pay attention to that fucking cat, then the cat's like, yeah, you can pet me. I'm done with you.

[657] I got other shit to do.

[658] It's all how the cat grows up.

[659] Bunnies are so cute that even their poop is cute.

[660] But the problem is that.

[661] It doesn't stink You know that was on Fear Factor We were trying to get people To eat bunny poop That was one of the things Rejected by the network That's bullshit Maybe they would eat it They would say drink your own piss too That was another one The network rejected Rabbit shit don't stink For real You would eat it I would totally eat it My non -fat milk My ex -girlfriend had a bunny And the one thing I did notice The negative part was Is that there was bunny shit Everywhere Like little rabbit turds everywhere You pick them up with your hand They're like raisin Yeah Wow How weird I love that motherfucker I have a whole room dedicated to him.

[662] You have a room in your house dedicated to you.

[663] It's all him.

[664] He's got a whole room.

[665] He doesn't even know he's captured.

[666] I leave the gate open because the gate goes around the whole room because we can't let him chew the baseboard.

[667] So it's a room, but there's a gate all the way around in the room.

[668] And we leave the gate open.

[669] He doesn't want to leave.

[670] He hates leaving that motherfucker.

[671] I got a castle for him.

[672] I got a UFO form.

[673] Do you have a car?

[674] Just get a little like, I built tunnels for him.

[675] You would make a great dad, dude.

[676] You don't even know.

[677] The, the love that you have for this bunny.

[678] pretty fun it's interesting to see but the love that you would have for a kid would really freak you the fuck out yeah you'd be like fuck that bunny yeah you would yeah you would the animals take a quick backseat dear every woman says that like when she has a kid I had you know I almost had I thought I had a kid for a few months you know and that kid he's 15 now and I don't even want to talk about it whoa like just opened up the door and close it on people did you meet him at a bar or like I'm just kidding.

[679] No, I actually, look, what happened is I, an ex -girlfriend of mine when I was 26, she, she got pregnant.

[680] I thought it was by her, you know, I thought her new boyfriend got her pregnant, but it was, there was a kind of great area when she got pregnant.

[681] I was like, hmm, I think the last, you know, maybe it could be mine.

[682] She had a baby.

[683] Her sister calls me up and says, hey, Moretta had the baby.

[684] you should come down and check it out this could be yours I'm like mine she goes it looks kind of Mexican because she was what their old family thought it looked Mexican that's so I came down and I'm like oh my God I have a son I totally didn't want it I had broken up with her like it was around 9 10 months ago or maybe longer and I didn't want to have anything to do with her I mean we were done I had a new girlfriend I was moving on and now this kid could be mine I went to the hospital, looked at the kid, and all babies looked the same to me. I'm like, you guys think it looks Mexican?

[685] I don't know.

[686] They go, yes.

[687] Look, look at his face.

[688] I'm like, he looks like me. So I go, let's take a DNA test then.

[689] But you had to wait three months before you could pull the amount of blood that you need to take the test.

[690] So I had to wait three months.

[691] So I broke up with the girl that I was with.

[692] And I said, this is my son.

[693] I want to be around for the first three months.

[694] You know, so I'm going to treat him like my son.

[695] So for three months, he was my son.

[696] third month when it was we were almost ready to take the test i don't i wanted him to be mine so bad i'm like man i got a son it's three months let's do this like i was ready to do it let's go and then he it turned out obviously that he wasn't mine and i stuck around for a while and then me and me and me and the the the girlfriend broke up a couple times and we would separate and come back and see him because i was in love with him but um it was like a six -month stretch when i came back and he was around two after we'd break up he's around two and when i got to the house, he looked at me and he didn't recognize me. He wasn't sure.

[697] And his mom was like, look, he's the one who took you to the zoo.

[698] And we're looking at the zoo pictures and he's like, looking at the zoo pictures and then looking at me. And he's like, he's maybe like, you know, a year and a half.

[699] And that look right there.

[700] I'm like, man, I got a boat now.

[701] Yeah, now's the time to do it.

[702] He didn't even know who I am anymore.

[703] I love this little kid and he don't even know who I am.

[704] I'm gone.

[705] So that was the guy in the picture?

[706] No, he was in jail.

[707] Wow.

[708] Yeah, that guy was in jail.

[709] So anyways, long story short of course I think about him every now and then I'm like you know I was in love with that kid I would have definitely he's 15 now he's 15 now he's 15 now teach some jiu jitza I found him on Facebook and I went through all the names that it could be I went through a bunch of guys and sent him messages I was like you know what I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna look for this guy wow so I found him holy shit so uh I thought you know we went back and forth to a little bit on Facebook and and did you tell him a story no we never talked about it whoa so he doesn't know no his mom his mom's remarried they got a little happy family going I don't want to cause any problems or anything like that I just wanted to touch base and um I you know he doesn't he lives like five up six hours away up north and and I I got a hold of the nearest jiu jitza school around where he lives and I said man you'd be interested in taking jiu jiu jitsu it's a a paragon it's a Jeff Glover you know Jeff Glover's from Paragon It's a Paragon affiliate.

[710] Got a hold of the guy.

[711] I said, you know, I told everyone he's my nephew.

[712] I didn't really want to get into details.

[713] It is really matter.

[714] He's not my nephew, but, you know, I thought he was my son for a while.

[715] And I thought, you know what?

[716] I'm going to get him into Jiu -Jitsu.

[717] He's all into it, man. He's obsessed.

[718] Oh, wow.

[719] Oh, that's awesome.

[720] Yeah, he's all obsessed with it.

[721] He loves it.

[722] Wow, what a crazy story.

[723] That's really cool, man. Did you ever think what would have happened if you decided to just stick around with that little dude?

[724] Yeah, man. I do.

[725] I do.

[726] Because at that point, within those first three months that was my boy I treated him like you know he was my son I thought this he could be my son I thought he could be deep down I was thinking I mean everyone saying he looks like me I don't think he looks like me that's everyone saying he looks Mexican he's so funny I didn't even know Eddie was Mexican I thought he was fucking with me for like the first two years because at the comedy store you're like I'm half Mexican I'm like no you're not I'm full Mexican or you said something like that to me He used to say he was half.

[727] Yeah, you said something else.

[728] Half Japanese and half Eskimo was a famous one.

[729] Maybe he said half Japanese, half Mexican or something.

[730] Yeah, I used to say that when I was a teenager just because I was an idiot.

[731] And I wanted to see who would believe it.

[732] And I'm like, wow, people believe anything.

[733] Dude, you used to do that with a lot of things.

[734] He used to, like, tell people crazy stories and see how far you can go with it.

[735] Man, it still happens.

[736] I mean, the whole, the whole, the whole, uh, why do you get into doing that?

[737] man do you have a hard time not doing that if you look at if you look at if you look at what we did on the joe show like with a 10 foot screws the 10 foot screws let me tell people that if you don't know let me tell you what we did we were in uh denver and i was doing stand -up and eddie and tate and brian and duncan we were all hanging out and we were walking and we went through this little shopping area what is it the six street mall is that what it's called whatever the mall is whatever street it is Anyway, we're going to this downtown shopping area, and we see a wig store.

[738] 2005.

[739] 2005, wasn't it?

[740] And just as a goof, we decided to go in this wig store.

[741] And then, first of all, we were high as fuck.

[742] And somewhere in this wig store, we came up with the idea of having a fake band.

[743] And that you guys were all going to wear these wigs.

[744] So everyone bought wigs.

[745] Tate had this crazy afro wig.

[746] And you had this crazy wig.

[747] And everyone decided that we were going to play a band called 10 foot screws.

[748] and we even announced the band as having an after party in town so people thought that it was like a real band and Eddie goes on stage I get off stage the show's over Eddie goes on stage with his fucking wig on and sunglasses we have video of it still right yeah there was a whole show Joe show episode is on YouTube which episode is it 7?

[749] 7 how do people find that one just type in Joe show 7 but you know it's actually all the episodes were on your website but since you move the servers now, everything's kind of weird.

[750] It was they were probably getting too much bandwidth.

[751] Well, the premise of it was Joe wanted to put together a reality show based on him going to all these clubs across the nation and his posse.

[752] And me, Tate, Brian, Duncan, Ari, even Larry back then.

[753] We were all...

[754] Larry's a producer.

[755] What do you tell?

[756] We were all in this...

[757] He was the producer.

[758] That's what Joe show was.

[759] It was an actual reality show.

[760] He's the origin of the word powerful.

[761] When you hear me say powerful, it's all because there's one.

[762] dude, our friend Larry.

[763] So the show was called a Joe show.

[764] You had her on your website.

[765] We did about 11 or 12 episodes or something.

[766] And episode 7, we were in Denver.

[767] We were trying to come up with a premise.

[768] And then it was all about, we just formed a band.

[769] So Joe's on stage.

[770] And the way we sold it was Duncan would get on stage and would say, who's going to the 10 foot screws show tonight?

[771] That's what we're called 10 foot screws.

[772] And that was Brian's.

[773] idea and so we wanted to so duncan was getting everybody in the audience used to the fact that we got 10 foot screws backstage and they're playing a big show at the holodome at the holodome next to the elpoil loco it's 16 in elpoil loco so people were like oh shit there's a concert tonight i didn't know about this 10 foot screws are they big so then was already there too or who else already wasn't already wasn't there so duncan was selling it like he was like the host and he was selling it we got 10 foot screws tomorrow we're going to give away some tickets so i I got a stack of half off drinks on Tuesday nights.

[774] I got two stacks of them.

[775] And Duncan introduced me. I was the lead singer.

[776] I was the total douchebag lead singer.

[777] I was like just basically playing the singer of Oasis, but backstage.

[778] So I got up on stage and said, who wants these tickets to the show tomorrow?

[779] Backstage, they were going nuts.

[780] So like Paul Stanley, I divided the crowd to one side.

[781] And I said, just like Paul Stanley, I go, okay, this side.

[782] Let me hear the noise.

[783] I go, one, two, let me hear the noise.

[784] It went, ah!

[785] And then I stopped him.

[786] And I go, this side.

[787] It was just a total Paul Stanley, 1985 rip -off.

[788] Most bands do it.

[789] Dude, find that.

[790] Find that and cue it up.

[791] Just that part of it, because it was so ridiculous.

[792] When I threw those tickets into the audience, dudes were flying headfirst over tables that were scrambling, only to find it that were Tuesday night half -off drinks.

[793] And you're some crazy man wearing a wig for a band that doesn't exist.

[794] Yeah, so when the concert let out, people had a walk by backstage.

[795] It was a weird.

[796] The club was set up weird.

[797] They were walking out next to backstage.

[798] So we had the door open and dudes are walking by going, where's that band?

[799] So we grabbed one dude and we pulled in maybe three dudes and we pulled them, closed the door.

[800] Now they're backstage with 10 foot screws.

[801] And me and Tate are just two little douchebags.

[802] We're total douchebags.

[803] Do you remember those fucking questions you guys now that I'm thinking about it?

[804] It was a great shot.

[805] The guy who got down on his knees.

[806] Yes.

[807] Remember that?

[808] He wanted it.

[809] He was a down.

[810] to do whatever to hang out with the band.

[811] He didn't, he thought we were a real band, so we got him to do crazy shit.

[812] He just wanted to hang out with the bed, so we're going to have to get on your knees.

[813] Okay, you're going to have to pray for us.

[814] Pray with us.

[815] Like, you know, bands sometimes pray, you know, before they go on.

[816] Thank you, Jesus.

[817] And you were replete, thank you, Jesus.

[818] And you said, for this diggle bells to suck.

[819] And then he jumped up and ran away.

[820] You remember?

[821] And then Tate was, he was like six foot four.

[822] He was so intimidated.

[823] The guy didn't want to, like, fire bat.

[824] Right.

[825] Because Tate's sitting there looking like a monster, you know?

[826] he was scared and then we got girls back there he probably thought that you were about to try to get him to suck your dick like he really probably thought that i mean you think about it you're some fucking wacko living in colorado you know some dude who's willing to go to some green room for some band that he doesn't even know never heard of before some band that doesn't even exist he's on his knees praying back and forth you in his head when you said that for this dick i'm about to suck he probably thought oh i fucked up i done fucked up i'll do it but damn i'm not gonna like it And that was a great episode too And then the other good episode was When we were in Boston Remember in Boston And Ari and Duncan They both sold to the audience They opened up and they said Backstage were We're auditioning for the Joe Rogan Life Story that they're going to film And we're looking for guys to play Joe Rogan We want authentic guys from Boston So the guys in the audience are thinking Oh shit they're auditioning To play Joe Rogan I think I could do it you can do it honey You could do it So people lined up When we had a fake audition, like, I'm this badass.

[827] You probably shouldn't talk about this because I think what you did was illegal.

[828] Was it?

[829] Yeah.

[830] I'm pretty sure what you did is totally illegal.

[831] I'm sorry.

[832] Yeah, we probably, this didn't really happen.

[833] We deny this.

[834] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[835] This is all in another dimension.

[836] We deny this.

[837] We deny this.

[838] In a parallel universe.

[839] Eddie Bravo does not seek to get sued at this moment of time.

[840] This is all fiction.

[841] Duncan was the director.

[842] Never happened.

[843] He'd never happened.

[844] This didn't take place.

[845] He can't, can't be saying this.

[846] For sure.

[847] I think probably.

[848] You just farted.

[849] No, I did not.

[850] I know.

[851] I smell it too.

[852] No, I did not.

[853] Man, we need some air conditioning up in this mud.

[854] Did you fart?

[855] You wouldn't do that, would you?

[856] That's Eddie fart.

[857] Listen, this is not helping the podcast at all.

[858] Not one moment.

[859] Joe Show 7 is unfoundable.

[860] Unfindable?

[861] Well, we have it somewhere, right?

[862] Did you Google it somewhere?

[863] Yeah, it's not even on Google anymore.

[864] The location it was on it was on your website.

[865] But you have the raw video still?

[866] I'm sure I do it on backups.

[867] Listen, son.

[868] You might not have it.

[869] You may have a shit.

[870] Is there a chance that you lost that for good?

[871] Oh, that's a yes.

[872] Brian, how sad are you?

[873] I really doubt it.

[874] Well, really, I have.

[875] I've had a hard drive die on the reason.

[876] Wow.

[877] We need to find that, man, because that was a classic.

[878] For sure, somebody saved it.

[879] There's got to be someone out there that saved it.

[880] I'm 100 % sure I have it, but it's just finding it.

[881] Those things don't make me laugh anymore.

[882] Those tricking people things, like jackass type things.

[883] I shouldn't say jackass.

[884] type things they don't make me laugh anymore they used to make me laugh you know I used to like oh this guys getting fucked over like the Jamie Kennedy experiment I thought that show was hilarious guys gone nuts used to make me laugh but now I don't want to watch that stuff I don't want to watch people get lied to I don't know what it is I became a pussy I became super sensitive I don't like watching that yeah I'm like you know you take an advantage of somebody for entertainment it's not entertained I like I like my my Pooberry flashlight joke that gets me every time somebody does that poo berry fleshlight yeah i told you this i have a fleshlight at my house and then uh this guy gave me this this thing called liquid ass oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you make people smell your fucking i don't make it i'm just like hey you should try out the new poo berry fleshlight smells like blueberries that's not that funny it is funny when you see them do it though i've seen it i've seen it on video you think in real life it's funnier just because you get to watch the real sick and i don't know it's just it makes me giggle the smell making some seeing somebody's face when they're smelling poop just used to make me laugh that kind of shit used to make me laugh it doesn't make me laugh as much anymore the premise has got to be good if there's a good premise you can't just it's got to be deep and good and it's the best one recently is teeb you know jason tebo his girlfriend daniel uh she never did it so she opened it up and she smelled it and she's like oh it smells like a homeless person's underwear or something like that and then i'm like put your finger in it and i had just poured a new fresh thing of liquid ass inside of it so she puts her finger and it gets all over her hand and her whole hand smell like poop you're 12 years old this guy's 36 years old can you believe that he's a 36 year old 12 year old let me see your idea he is I'm not not lying you this motherfucker's gonna be dressing up like witty the poo next week banging his girlfriend a rule full of strangers she's gonna be dressed up like a little fox that would you would you admit though that that's going to be interesting to see oh yeah listen I would go no doubt about it especially if you know I knew for sure that the crotch and the ass of my thing was zipped up Nobody could get at me. Right.

[885] You know, I would go.

[886] I would just think they'd be crazy, though, man. I think they just do this shit to each other and they just, like, it could get, like, really uncomfortable.

[887] I think some of them are probably pretty normal, but I think whenever you get an opportunity to completely pretend to be somebody else, you get to dress up at some outfit, you don't even talk.

[888] Everyone agrees to not talk.

[889] You get to see, like, how wacky some minds are.

[890] Some people's brains are fucking fried, you know, and you kind of put yourself at the mercy of being around those people without being able to filter them.

[891] socially.

[892] You know, if we're all sitting around talking, after five, ten minutes, we all kind of figure out how where each other's, you know, vibes coming from.

[893] We might do something that surprises us, you know, if you find out someone's a little weirder than you thought, but for the most part, you get a kind of vibe.

[894] And some people, you get a vibe immediately, okay, I don't want to talk to that guy.

[895] Well, when that guy's dressed up like Wiley Coyote, you don't never get that vibe.

[896] Yeah, you're going to have that one Wiley Coyote guy walking around, creeping everybody out.

[897] Yeah.

[898] Maybe that's what excites them.

[899] Fuck yeah.

[900] I've been a lot of them.

[901] Look, I think, like, that would be, like, a great thing for a serial killer.

[902] A great thing for a serial killer would be go and hang around with a bunch of other people that are dressing up, like, this fucking weirdo outfit, you know, this weirdo animal thing.

[903] And you could wear one of those weirdo animal things and just infiltrate them and then hang out with them in a way that other people are never willing to hang out with you.

[904] The bunny serial killer.

[905] Yeah.

[906] Don't you think, like, I would assume that most serial killers, like, if you were around them, you'd be tripped out by them.

[907] Like, most of them, like, you would get a weird vibe from them, most of them, right?

[908] Wouldn't you assume?

[909] I mean, do you think that serial killers would be able to just, like, sneak on by you?

[910] Or do you think you would get, like, a weird vibe from it?

[911] I think I would definitely be able to get a weird vibe from somebody.

[912] But, of course, I have no idea.

[913] You have no idea, right?

[914] It's all speculation.

[915] Especially if you have a lot of friends.

[916] The more friends you have and the more people you come in contact with, you can spot those in a second.

[917] Like, people that look at IDs all the time, you can spot them fake ones.

[918] You just see good ones all day.

[919] Yeah.

[920] This one's different.

[921] This one's different.

[922] It's not the same.

[923] Yeah, you're right.

[924] If you have a bunch of different friends and you run a bunch of people.

[925] And if you're honest, that to me, I think, is the big one.

[926] If you're a real honest person and you're honest in the way you communicate with people, you can, you pick up deceptive behavior very quickly because it just seems off.

[927] You have your guard down.

[928] You're relaxed.

[929] You're open.

[930] And then you see something that's like just not quite real.

[931] Like there's something about what you're saying.

[932] It seems like bullshit, you know?

[933] I think psychedelics also helps that sense, too, because you actually see the person's inner soul at certain points of doing psychodugs where you could see their energy.

[934] And ever since you see that, or that feel that feeling, I think you kind of have that feeling in the back of your head.

[935] Do you ever, sure, you ever go to movies when you're high?

[936] Yeah, of course.

[937] You know how when you can tell that they're acting bad?

[938] Yeah.

[939] Dude, I saw the Hulk, the Eric Banna Hulk.

[940] And Eric Bann is a great actor, don't get me wrong.

[941] He's in that movie Chopper.

[942] He's a bad motherfucker in that movie.

[943] But in the Hulk, there was some scenes where he didn't really have much to do and it didn't seem like he was the most focused.

[944] You know, there's a few scenes where him and this chick are talking, and I'm listening to the two of them talking like this is so not real like I remember in the movie theater going this is like some of the worst acting ever this is so fake it seems like so you're not committed to what you're saying you're not thinking about what you're saying but it's because the weed that weed just lets you tune into it yeah you know but it's it's that way with the conversation too you ever you know you've been high before when you you feel like someone's lying to you and it feels like even more so it's even more shocking and weird if you're if you're vulnerable and you're a little high maybe you had a little touch of paranoia and then you realize that someone's lying you're like it just feels fucking gross yes yes yes let you tune in that he's thinking about bunnies I'm thinking about I don't know how to break this to you though but these are fake bro dude the glass skull is fake dude dude I got it from amazon com okay it's guaranteed it's legit what are the worst conspiracy theories of crystal skull or Bigfoot.

[945] Oh, no, Bigfoot's not a bad one, man. You know, there's an Animal Channel show right now.

[946] It's a finding Bigfoot or something like that on the animal planet or animal channels.

[947] I've seen the commercials.

[948] Because of one video.

[949] I was in Spokane this past weekend, and as we're landing in the Spokane airport, you know, you're looking at all like the forest and the pine trees.

[950] And, you know, I started thinking about sauce squash.

[951] I'm like, I'm going to ask the guys at my seminar what they think, you know.

[952] So in the beginning of the seminar, I go, my show of hands, who believes in sauce squash This is the kind of Jiu -Jitsu school that Eddie's running This is how he starts off His fucking seminar I wanted to know this Nobody raised their hands So I'm like shit None of you guys believe in sauce squashes Holy shit So I'm thinking right there Okay If these people live here In Spokane small city In the woods If they don't believe it Then a couple guys start going Well you know You never know Because of this and because of that I go wait a minute So you're saying You kind of believe it And I go Okay By show her hands Who thinks that maybe they exist?

[953] They all raise their hands.

[954] Whoa.

[955] They all, I go, really?

[956] They just didn't want to raise their hands initially because they didn't want, you know, they were probably ridiculed in school.

[957] Well, here's some weird.

[958] You believe in Bigfoot.

[959] Here's some weird facts.

[960] First of all, there's 250 different Native American names for Sasquatch.

[961] 250 different names for this big, hairy man that lives in the woods.

[962] And the primary, the big predominant, you know, group of sightings.

[963] is in the Pacific Northwest.

[964] Do you think if they had the internet back then, it would only be one name, right?

[965] You know, as this 250 people talked about it, and they all made up their own name.

[966] Well, they had a bunch of different languages, too.

[967] I like sauce squash the best.

[968] That's the Indian name, right?

[969] Sasquatch.

[970] I like Henry.

[971] Yeah, well, the reason why it's interesting is because so many different names exist for it, because there's no other mythical creatures in the Native American, like, I don't think they have a mythology that has like, maybe different Indians do, and some of them do and some don't, but for the most part, I don't think it's like, you know, the Greeks had all these fake gods and all these different, you know, the griffins and all these different things that they had created.

[972] There was obviously a lot of fiction going on.

[973] I don't think there's that much fiction in the Native American folklore.

[974] So when there's all these different names with this one animal, it makes you go, hmm, maybe there was a thing like that at one point in time.

[975] And then there's so many fucking sightings of these things.

[976] And that makes you go, hmm, maybe, well, what the fuck would it be?

[977] You know, how could there be an ape that no one's ever heard of?

[978] Then you find out that it's not an ape that's no one's ever heard of.

[979] There actually was an eight -foot -tall, erect, giant ape, called Gicantopithecus, that actually lived in Asia, and lived in Asia as recently as 100 ,000 years ago.

[980] And they think that this thing may have come down the Bering Strait, along with Native Americans, rather.

[981] When people first came to America, America, 10 ,000 years ago, half of North America was under a, mile -high sheet of ice.

[982] So there was a connection actually between us and Russia and Asia, and animals would come across that connection, the Bering Strait, and that's how people supposedly got here.

[983] And they think that it's very possible that at one point in time, this now extinct animal that they know exists made that trip as well.

[984] This animal, they say it definitely exists.

[985] It wasn't just like a really tall, tall person.

[986] No, it's called Gigantopithecus.

[987] They found this thing because they found an extraordinarily large tooth in one of these Chinese market somewhere.

[988] And it was a tooth that they knew it was a primate tooth, but it was so large they couldn't believe that it was humans.

[989] And so they tried to figure out what it was, early man, what the fuck it was.

[990] And then they found some other bones and then eventually discovered that there was an actual animal called gigantopithecus.

[991] So what about the argument that you don't find?

[992] bones or you don't find bears either man ever you don't find dead bears who eats the bones if there's a small population of them if there's a small population of them and one of them died things that die there's a video a time -lapse video of africa which is obviously much more predatory than the pacific northwest but in this time -lapse video of africa an elephant dies and these hyenas start tearing this elephant apart and even some some lions actually scavenged a little bit the thing's gone three days and 72 hours it's gone.

[993] There's nothing.

[994] Nothing exists.

[995] And it's a fucking elephant.

[996] Who's eating in the bones?

[997] Everything.

[998] They're all just chewing everything up.

[999] They all just take things away.

[1000] The hyenas, smash bones.

[1001] Hyenas, they have like some of the most powerful bites in the animal kingdom and the reason why is because they're scavengers.

[1002] They smash bones and, you know, bite off chunks of meat from the bones.

[1003] Hyenas are just ruthless cunts.

[1004] They're just, they're the fucking total cunts of the animal kingdom.

[1005] They're just mean, vicious, fucking horrible animals that screech and laugh.

[1006] And the females are larger than the males.

[1007] The reason being is because the males are so evil, they eat their babies all the time.

[1008] So to keep the males from eating the babies, the females have to be larger than the males.

[1009] And the females have a fake dick.

[1010] They have a giant faux penis.

[1011] And they mount the males and dominate them with this fake dick.

[1012] It's a giant like arm hanging from between their legs.

[1013] It's the creepiest shit you've ever seen.

[1014] This giant female who's bigger than the male humps the male and dominates him.

[1015] It's a matriarchal society.

[1016] I want a fake dick.

[1017] You've got a real one though, Brian.

[1018] I want to.

[1019] If you look up gigantopithecus though, they have skulls of this thing.

[1020] I didn't even know about that.

[1021] I thought it was just like a caveman.

[1022] Well, you know, they don't have a full skull, you know, but they have enough that they piece together what it would look like.

[1023] You know, they have bones and various, you know, parts of jaws and stuff like that.

[1024] They don't exist anymore.

[1025] They probably don't exist anymore.

[1026] They probably did exist like maybe even just a few hundred years ago and they probably died off.

[1027] Or there might be a few of them out there.

[1028] It's really possible.

[1029] The thing if you went to Spokane, you know that as you fly over that Pacific Northwest it really occurs to you how fucking dense that shit is.

[1030] There is so much forest up there.

[1031] It's hard for you to wrap your head around.

[1032] It's hard for you to wrap your head around over an hour of flying through the air and it's still forest.

[1033] And that's what it is up there.

[1034] I mean it's some dense, dense shit.

[1035] So if you think that they've absolutely done a survey and an account of everything that lives in that forest.

[1036] You're crazy.

[1037] There's no way they have.

[1038] They just killed a fucking jaguar or a panther, rather, in Connecticut.

[1039] They thought that there was no panthers on the East Coast for a long time.

[1040] The last one, I believe they killed in New Hampshire in like the 1800s.

[1041] You know, when the settlers first came to the East Coast, they eradicated most of the mountain lions.

[1042] But they just killed one in Connecticut, a 140 -pounder.

[1043] And they saw, there was a spotting of one in New York, 20 miles away from that.

[1044] Could have been the same panther, because they're known to travel like 100 miles in a day sometimes.

[1045] So it could have been the same panther that went 20 miles away.

[1046] But they don't know where this thing came from.

[1047] It could have been a pet.

[1048] It could have been a pet.

[1049] But it also could have been something that was living in the fucking woods.

[1050] It's really possible.

[1051] They did use to exist.

[1052] They're so hard to find, man. I saw one when I lived in college.

[1053] But, you know, it's fairly rare to see one.

[1054] You know, I've talked to people who lived in Colorado for years and never saw one.

[1055] But there's plenty of people that have.

[1056] But they've got a documented population of thousands of mountain lions up there.

[1057] You know, it's not like they're scarce.

[1058] They're just kind of crafty.

[1059] They're crafty animals.

[1060] And that's way more populated than the Pacific Northwest.

[1061] You know, if you're living in a place like, you know, Spokane or any of those areas where they have those Sasquatch sightings, it's always like northern California.

[1062] it's always like the rainforest man there's some fucking sounds that these guys have recorded and it could be hoaxes but people who have studied these sounds like primatologists have studied these sounds they said they're primate in nature you know they don't know what the fuck it is but these guys are camping out in the woods and they hear these screams and these screeches in the night who knows the thing that has me curious is that there's an actual animal and there's pictures of this thing look at this this is a gigantic antipithecus I mean look at it it's a goddamn bigfoot man I mean, the real animal is a big foot.

[1063] It's an animal that absolutely existed.

[1064] The hoax was based off of probably.

[1065] It could be.

[1066] It could be, man. It could be.

[1067] It could very well be a hoax, for sure.

[1068] Or it could be there's a big fucking ape out there.

[1069] But the thing is, if it did exist, bro.

[1070] Here's the thing.

[1071] If that fucking thing existed, it would be in a cage right next to the gorilla at the zoo and nobody would give a fuck.

[1072] It's because it's a mystery that's so intoxicating to people.

[1073] We have this weird thing where we want things.

[1074] that are secret.

[1075] We want things that we don't know yet.

[1076] Oh, I don't know.

[1077] Is it real?

[1078] Is it real?

[1079] And we want to uncover these fucking secrets.

[1080] This deep desire to do that more than to accumulate knowledge.

[1081] Like people have a much, much stronger desire to find secrets like ghosts, something retarded like that.

[1082] Like who the fuck cares?

[1083] Ghosts have never killed anybody.

[1084] You know, you don't get anything from ghosts.

[1085] You know, you can't record them on film.

[1086] Everybody that sees them, they all sound like they're full of shit.

[1087] You know, you really believe in ghosts, man. You're going to dedicate your time to ghosts but I was going to say is when there's all this shit out there that is real and it's fascinating some incredible shit that they're discovering you know they believe that there may be small black holes traveling through our galaxy and that can pass right through the sun that can go through the sun and we wouldn't even notice it we would see a little blip out there and they would just pass right through the sun they know that there's a fucking RV sides asteroid that just whizzed by our planet just the other day just yesterday I think it was like really close between us and the moon went fucking flying by in the same orbit the same place as satellites are that's how close it was it's RV sized I mean you know that's pretty small as far as as as asteroids go but if it hit if it hit a city or something like that yeah but that would have gone through our whatever atmosphere yeah atmosphere burned out maybe depends on what it's made out of they don't all burn out the really scary ones are the ones that are made of iron you know There's some that are made.

[1088] I mean, comets, when you see the trail of a comet, that's because it's mostly ice.

[1089] You know, that's water.

[1090] There's so much fucking water in comets.

[1091] That trail is actually the water vapor, like coming off this giant fucking hunk of ice.

[1092] Those are not nearly as terrifying as the ones that are all iron.

[1093] You know, the ones that are all water and all sorts of other, other shit, you know, as they're getting close, a lot of it's going to go away.

[1094] But, you know, even when it blows up in the atmosphere, even when it erodes in the atmosphere, sometimes it's still.

[1095] produces insane damage, man. Like there's an area of the Soviet Union that was hit by a meteor in, I think it was the turn of the century, and it's called Tunguska.

[1096] You know, that's the area.

[1097] And there's photos of just flattened miles and miles of trees.

[1098] I mean, it just says, fuck.

[1099] Like, they got hit by a nuclear bomb, man. And there was no actual asteroid.

[1100] By the time it got to Earth, it had been eaten up by the atmosphere.

[1101] Those fucking things were terrifying, man. I want to know if a ghost kills a ghost Then you die and you're on the same level as the ghost Can you then kill that ghost and he goes into another ghost level You mean if a ghost kills a person you become a ghost Can you kick that ghost ass for killing you Yeah and then you kill the ghost in the ghost world Can't kill ghosts though Yeah but so there's no Has the ghost never died in a movie?

[1102] That's the thing about ghosts It's so scary You can like get rid of them if you have a good priest A good priest who loves his mother But if you don't have that The fuck man You can't even kill him You have to be able to kill a ghost in a ghost level because then that person has to be a third ghost thing bulls go right through them dude yeah you can't kill him bro that ghost level would be really crowded then so the thing about ghosts is that they have to trick you in a dying you have to like get scared and fall down flights of stairs and shit you have to get scared and back up into an open elevator shaft that's how ghosts kill you they can't really do shit they're just bluffers you know what's funny this ghost hunters is a real TV show one one there's like a bunch of them there's a more than one dude there's a ton of ghost shows there's a ton of ghost shows and they're all exactly the same.

[1103] It's all three stupid white people.

[1104] And occasionally there's a black eye with glasses.

[1105] And they're in a basement and they have night vision on.

[1106] And then they go, did you hear that?

[1107] And then they cut the commercial.

[1108] And then they play music.

[1109] I'm like, why are you playing music?

[1110] Cut the fucking music out.

[1111] And then they edit.

[1112] There's nothing to see here.

[1113] That's the thing about a ghost.

[1114] There's nothing to see here.

[1115] You fucking look all day.

[1116] The most you have is like some weird image, you know, a whispery image.

[1117] And again, it's only interesting.

[1118] interesting because it's unknown.

[1119] It's only interesting because people think there might be a ghost might be real.

[1120] It's a secret thing.

[1121] It might be real.

[1122] How crazy is, I mean, it all depends on what you define as a ghost, you know, something that isn't in this plane or whatever.

[1123] But, you know, when you talk science, the smartest motherfuckers that have ever lived were the Nazi scientists.

[1124] They invented missiles.

[1125] They were so far ahead of everyone else in science and technology.

[1126] those are good.

[1127] You know what I'm saying?

[1128] Like when they went down, Russians raced in and took half their scientists, Americans took the other scientists.

[1129] Yeah, a lot of people don't even know that our space program is based entirely on Nazi scientists.

[1130] They were the smartest motherfuckers.

[1131] And they were down, I mean, according to ancient aliens, I don't know, according to 18 aliens.

[1132] That is maybe the worst reference you could ever say.

[1133] It's like, according to Wikipedia, you are a fucking skull and bone.

[1134] remember.

[1135] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1136] I'm very excited about it.

[1137] Be nice to him.

[1138] No, I am be nice.

[1139] He's a nice guy.

[1140] I like the guy.

[1141] But you just said it's the worst.

[1142] You can't because it's a show.

[1143] It's an entertainment show.

[1144] I mean, he talks about Atlantis maybe being a spaceship that flew off in this guy.

[1145] Of course anyway.

[1146] Maybe it's a rabbit and it ate a giant magical carrot and that created the end of the Atlantic Empire.

[1147] Yes, I did.

[1148] It was fascinating.

[1149] It was fascinating.

[1150] It's fascinating the actual facts of what the Nazis were into.

[1151] And a lot of what they were into is like ancient Hindu scriptures, like the Vamanas.

[1152] They studied all these you know, Vimanas were like these flogas.

[1153] things in ancient Hindu scriptures that from thousands and thousands years ago, these flying ships that people have always tried to interpret, like, what the fuck did they mean by this?

[1154] You know, and the Nazi scientists were fascinated by all that stuff.

[1155] They were very much into the occult and very much into, you know, the idea of ancient knowledge.

[1156] And you could throw that aside and say they were silly if it wasn't for the incredible technological capabilities that they had back then.

[1157] BMW, that was, those were, they made engines for Nazis, man. I mean, Volkswagen, that's the car for the people.

[1158] You know, there was so much, they made incredible rockets.

[1159] Their rocketry was so far ahead of anything in the rest of the world.

[1160] They were the innovators when it comes to the field of rocketry and space travel.

[1161] How about Warner von Braun?

[1162] Yeah.

[1163] Warner von Braun and Herman O 'Berth are both quoted as saying all that technology came from help from beans from another solar system.

[1164] That they were channeling, they were channeling information.

[1165] Yeah.

[1166] To build UFOs.

[1167] They built four different models of UFOs.

[1168] And they're saying they were getting the information, anti -gravity information by the VIRAL Society, which Hitler was a part of.

[1169] And they were running the Nazis, the Verole Society.

[1170] And it was all based on channeling from another solar system.

[1171] There were this chick, I forget her name, Maria Ostich, was the head medium.

[1172] And she was channeling ancient Sumerian text.

[1173] And then they'd bring in a dudican transcriber.

[1174] She had no idea what she was writing.

[1175] It was an ancient Samarian text.

[1176] There was instructions on how to build UFOs.

[1177] They built four of them.

[1178] It's on record.

[1179] Hanibu 1, Hanibu 2, Hanibu 3.

[1180] They built UFOs.

[1181] And they're saying...

[1182] I mean, they built spaceships.

[1183] They built UFOs.

[1184] Well, UFOs are unidentified.

[1185] Yeah, well, yeah, they built anti -gravity.

[1186] So a lot of the sightings in the 40s and 50s and probably even to today are all based, or not all, but I'm sure a lot of them were German UFO.

[1187] Right, but when they say that they build something that's anti -gravity, that can't really be proven because we can't do anti -gravity today.

[1188] So because we can't do anti -gravity, we don't have a working model that they actually had that we could fly around in.

[1189] A lot of that is speculation.

[1190] But we do know that they were coming up with some weird shaped aircrafts.

[1191] I mean, there's some photos of them with these saucer -looking Nazi ships, like actual undisputable photos.

[1192] But they didn't fly.

[1193] Who knows?

[1194] I can make a spaceship.

[1195] Well, who knows if they flew or not?

[1196] I don't know.

[1197] Do you know that they didn't fly?

[1198] No, but I'm not saying they did fly.

[1199] I mean, back then, I really doubt.

[1200] That's four models.

[1201] Well, they had planes, man. I mean, they could make one of those fucking things fly, which is just a jet engine.

[1202] Right.

[1203] You know, I don't know if it would, obviously, it would be any good.

[1204] I mean, it might suck.

[1205] Maybe that's why they stopped using it.

[1206] There's a funny picture online of Adolf Hitler with an alien.

[1207] I think he's just misunderstood.

[1208] Adolf Hitler.

[1209] Dude, don't even say shit like that in my podcast, bitch.

[1210] Don't you pay attention to see what happened.

[1211] Happened to fucking Tracy Morgan.

[1212] I was talking about Charlie Chaplin.

[1213] There's all these weird photos of these fucking these things that the Nazis built, man. I don't know how many of these photos are hoaxes and how many of them are legit, but it's pretty fascinating, man. It's, to me, the most fascinating part is that they were using mediums to channel aliens from another source.

[1214] But how do we know that that's true?

[1215] Is that an ancient aliens thing?

[1216] You know, it was probably the U .S. government.

[1217] Yes.

[1218] What are you doing?

[1219] What am I looking for?

[1220] The what society?

[1221] The V -R -I -L.

[1222] Spelt that?

[1223] The V -R -I -L.

[1224] Society.

[1225] Yeah, it makes me wonder if maybe they were just really dumb.

[1226] Yeah, it's like, yeah, we're talking to aliens, but they were really talking to our government.

[1227] And we're like, oh, yeah, yeah.

[1228] Well, you know, you can, you can poo -poo all you want the idea of secret societies, but the bottom line is almost every single fucking president has been a part of one of those fucking things in high school or in college.

[1229] Look at the Verl's society.

[1230] Yeah, that skull and bones shit is so disturbing that these people get together in college and decide to run shit based on, you know, this, this bond that they make when they're in college but it completely makes sense if you pay attention to how people operate man especially if you could I mean the best way to keep something secret really keep something secret is to have a bunch of people who belong to some exclusive group and they won't rat anything out you know it's like like a group of buddies who will talk about man law like you know you don't say shit about nothing nothing to what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas I mean that's this is that on a huge level you know skull and bones is basically what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, on the biggest level possible, raping the world, causing wars, doing all this crazy shit, and doing it under this premise of we're all a part of this group that agrees to be running the world in secret.

[1231] What happens in Iraq stays in Iraq?

[1232] And they're asking, you know, they're asking each other to join this thing.

[1233] And so to join it, they make them do so really embarrassing shit.

[1234] Like, you know, you hear different stories from suck cocks to let guys piss in their mouth or to all sorts of weird shit and they get it all on film.

[1235] And this is how you become a member in this group.

[1236] Everyone has to do these things.

[1237] Dress up like a diaper.

[1238] Let dude shit in your hair.

[1239] Like just the most fucked up thing possible.

[1240] And they film it so that they always have you.

[1241] Yeah.

[1242] But who the fuck knows?

[1243] That sounds like some shit that you're saying in your mom's basement and there's like wood paneling on the wall and you're doing bong rips.

[1244] You're like, dude.

[1245] And then they totally make you eat shit.

[1246] Really?

[1247] Yeah, man. That's what my cousin said.

[1248] My cousin said that was real.

[1249] Eddie, did you like Super 8?

[1250] It was all right.

[1251] Yeah.

[1252] That's how I felt too.

[1253] people got mad at me we talked about last week I gave some spoilers away I would see it I'd see it again I mean if I didn't know any better if I didn't know the plot I would go see it It was a fun ride The fat kid is a great actor All those kids are Pretty amazing They were good man Elliot too was good They're probably gonna be Spectacular fuckups Later in their life Bank on them They're probably gonna be amazing They're probably gonna be McCulley Colkin -esque They're all gonna be They're all gonna be on Dr. Drew show If you watch the new episodes Joey Diaz swears It's the best Oh, celebrity rehabs already out?

[1254] I noticed, I don't know, I looked on my DVR the other day.

[1255] There was a couple of them.

[1256] So I was like, oh, Jesus, here we go again.

[1257] I love that show.

[1258] That's my favorite.

[1259] Lindsay Lohan's dad's on it.

[1260] And Amy Fisher.

[1261] Is he really?

[1262] Yeah.

[1263] Amy Fisher, the chick who got famous by shooting someone.

[1264] She's on it.

[1265] Like, she's a celebrity.

[1266] She shot married Joe Buttafuko in the fucking face, and that made her a celebrity.

[1267] That's hilarious.

[1268] What kind of a weird world are we living in, man?

[1269] Where every fucking show is real housewives and teen moms and mob wives.

[1270] and what the fuck are we doing, man. You want to see real shit.

[1271] It's not even real shit.

[1272] We want to see drama.

[1273] The rise at the UFC and all reality shows, that's like real shit.

[1274] We don't want to see fighting movies.

[1275] Put out a fighting movie now.

[1276] Most of those reality shows are bullshit.

[1277] You know that as much than anybody.

[1278] Yeah, but we think it's real.

[1279] Most people think it's real.

[1280] You know what I think it is?

[1281] I think our lives are becoming more and more complex and people are more and more stressful and they have more and more real problems.

[1282] And they want to be distracted with a problem that they can focus on that they have absolutely no stake in.

[1283] So they could watch people with their drama and getting mad at each other and crazy and screaming and this girl's fucking his wife and he's going fucking crazy and they're going bankrupt.

[1284] But meanwhile, you personally have zero stake in it.

[1285] So you can sit there and watch it and get totally caught up in it and you know, and your life doesn't fall apart.

[1286] It's like cathartic.

[1287] Yeah.

[1288] Makes sense.

[1289] Totally makes sense, right?

[1290] Yep.

[1291] That's what I think is going down.

[1292] This is, if you want real proof that there's an apocalypse coming down, it's what the fuck is on TV.

[1293] That's the real proof.

[1294] The real proof is mob wives.

[1295] The real proof is Real Housewives of New Jersey.

[1296] You watch these morons living their retarded life.

[1297] They're non -introspective, no common sense, not thinking, egotistical, under the microscope and can't handle it.

[1298] The spotlights on them.

[1299] They don't know what the fuck to do.

[1300] They're acting crazy.

[1301] You hear their nonsense talking.

[1302] That's the sign.

[1303] That's the sign that's all going down.

[1304] That's the sign, Eddie Bravo.

[1305] You know what we should do, Joe?

[1306] We should try to get tickets to that Comic Con that's coming up.

[1307] Fuck yeah.

[1308] I would love to.

[1309] Go down there and start some shit.

[1310] We should speak.

[1311] We should speak at Comic Con about podcasts.

[1312] Totally.

[1313] Like we're experts.

[1314] We should speak.

[1315] Somebody asked me to speak at the zeitgeist movement.

[1316] There's a zeitgeist thing, September 11th, 2011.

[1317] You want to go?

[1318] Do you want to go?

[1319] Where is it at?

[1320] I don't know.

[1321] It's in L .A. There's a series of them.

[1322] A zeitgeist media event.

[1323] They asked me speak in it.

[1324] Which I'm down, but the problem is, man, with all of these things, whenever you claim that you fucking got the answers, all right?

[1325] whether it's a zeitgeist or whether it's Scientology or whether it's...

[1326] I don't want to equate Zekeyes with Scientology, but it's too late.

[1327] It already did.

[1328] They don't have the answers, man. And everybody's saying, you know, like, if you look at...

[1329] There's a website called Zeichykeis debunked.

[1330] And, you know, there's a lot of shit that they got wrong, man. Just straight wrong.

[1331] Of course.

[1332] When it comes to...

[1333] Even when it comes to the way they were backing up the history of religion.

[1334] They got all these things wrong with Mithra and all.

[1335] And it's been corrected on all these different websites, all the things that they got incorrect about.

[1336] But they're so confident in these points of view that they can put these points of view out on...

[1337] Is Zekeyes anti -God?

[1338] No, no, no, no, no, not at all.

[1339] No, Zichyce is pretty interesting.

[1340] There's a lot of Zichyce that I believe in it.

[1341] It's 9 -1 -1, right?

[1342] It's a lot of it's 911 in there.

[1343] And also I have a problem with it where there's things when they talk about the towers and how the towers fell.

[1344] I just farted this time.

[1345] This time was me. That was me. If you smell this fart.

[1346] Don't run away.

[1347] Brian, don't be scared.

[1348] Anyway, the, uh, you're, you're using this as an excuse to get up.

[1349] Did you fart?

[1350] No, I did.

[1351] I actually just had to go to the bathroom.

[1352] It wasn't even bad.

[1353] But I'm just, I'm, since somebody didn't own up for the last one, I felt like I should own up for this one.

[1354] Okay, man, maybe it was Brian.

[1355] Maybe it was, my cat's in here somewhere.

[1356] And by the way, she took a nasty shit in that litter box in the bathroom.

[1357] It might be that.

[1358] How, how, how, you guys shit?

[1359] What percentage is explosive and what percentage is solid loaves?

[1360] Well, I've been eating a lot of lettuce.

[1361] lately and I've also been drinking this new thing this vegetable drink it's amazing man I got this Vitamix you know Kevin James lost 80 fucking pounds right Kevin James look great dude his face is skinny he looks so healthy he looks like vibrant it's crazy and he got on chubby at all well he still got a gut he still he was 300 fucking pounds he's got extra skin you know but he's in way better shape than awesome is almost since I met him you know I met him in 91 maybe somewhere around then And this is about as healthy as I've ever seen it, as far as, like, his diet and what he's doing.

[1362] And he got this Vitamix thing, and he swears by it, man. He's like, he told me about this book.

[1363] Some woman wrote this book on, you know, how you're supposed to eat vegetables.

[1364] And the problem is, you know, your body spends so much time digesting food and breaking food down that it causes a lot, uses up a lot of energy.

[1365] So she has this, she tells you to take this blender and you blend all your vegetables together.

[1366] So I blend like kale and I blend cucumbers and I blend like a pear.

[1367] and some ginger and some celery, a bunch of shit together into this drink that looks like the Hulk's loads.

[1368] That's what it looks like.

[1369] Just this green, crazy drink.

[1370] And I drink this shit.

[1371] And first of all, my shit flows out of me like a river.

[1372] So you're close?

[1373] No, nicely.

[1374] Just nicely.

[1375] Just slides out.

[1376] Like if you were logging on a river and it was a nice, strong current to the river, and you unloaded a whole truckload of logs into this river to take them downhill and they just went, ah, just travel downhill.

[1377] That's what it's like when I take a shit.

[1378] My logs just travel downhill.

[1379] Ah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[1380] She comes out nice and so.

[1381] You don't never have explosive.

[1382] No, no. That's probably Mexican food.

[1383] 5 % You know what that is, Eddie?

[1384] 100 % what that is, it's a food allergy.

[1385] You should get tested with food allergies.

[1386] They'll test everything and give you a percentage up and down how allergic you are of everything.

[1387] Explosive shit, it's food hours?

[1388] Yeah, yeah.

[1389] You'll be surprised.

[1390] After you eat, you're body because it's after i eat yeah yeah it's probably most likely bread i bet you have a food allergy to bread and it might not be like you can't eat bread but it could definitely be talking to the microphone more so amazing i think a lot of people have an analogy to gluten jeff's wife has yeah that's exactly what it probably is man yeah it's a real common one apparently it's not that good for your body to be eating bread apparently bread even though it fills you up you know bread you know it's great for poor people you know take your wheat and you make your bread and it fills your belly and it gives you carbohydrates apparently your body doesn't like breaking it down especially processed white flour.

[1391] Apparently, that's just just glue.

[1392] You know, it's just like funky glue.

[1393] Like, you're supposed to eat like Ezekiel bread.

[1394] Like, Ezekiel bread is really good for you.

[1395] I love that shit.

[1396] I have Ezekiel bread with peanut butter in it.

[1397] I don't even feel like I'm doing anything bad.

[1398] You know, I don't feel like, if I have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole wheat bread, I'm like, how much sugar is in this, man?

[1399] This is all sugar, you know?

[1400] But if I have, like, some Ezekiel bread with, like, some natural peanut butter, I don't feel bad at all.

[1401] It's fine.

[1402] It's nice to eat that bread all the time.

[1403] It's great.

[1404] Yeah.

[1405] Can we have a moly science for Fogo to Chow.

[1406] I love that place.

[1407] A what?

[1408] A moment of silence?

[1409] Why don't you fucking go?

[1410] There's one in Los Angeles.

[1411] I was going to say I went there two days ago.

[1412] Did you?

[1413] God, guys.

[1414] We need to do another death squad trip there.

[1415] This is what we're going to do, folks.

[1416] We're going to take a trip to the Salton Sea.

[1417] Eddie and I talked about it.

[1418] As soon as Eddie showed up, I got a book here on the Salt and Sea, and I got two documentaries sitting on my desk because being the retard that I am, whenever a subject comes up on the podcast or that I get set hip to, I get fascinated by it.

[1419] And the Salt and Sea is the thing that I'm so fascinated by it lately.

[1420] And apparently Eddie says that Sunny, Bono was the guy that was trying to save the Salton Sea.

[1421] Trying to bring it back.

[1422] And apparently it can be brought back.

[1423] Yeah.

[1424] It could be fixed.

[1425] According to the documentary, they...

[1426] Which documentary is this?

[1427] Is it any of those?

[1428] This one.

[1429] Plagues and pleasures of the Salton Sea.

[1430] Plagues and pleasures of the Salton Sea.

[1431] Isn't that a John Waters documentary?

[1432] I'm not sure, but it's amazing.

[1433] You've got to see that.

[1434] Plagues and pleasures on the Salton Sea.

[1435] Yeah, I just received it because somebody sent me hip to a video online.

[1436] They linked it to me on Twitter and I retweeted it.

[1437] Yeah, go ahead.

[1438] Open it.

[1439] It was a while back.

[1440] Maybe a couple weeks ago.

[1441] And I watched this video online about this ocean inside, I mean, almost like an ocean, this huge man -made lake inside of California's coast.

[1442] And I was like, what the fuck?

[1443] This is nuts, man. And then it talks about how toxic it became because of the runoff from all these different farms and that it got saltier and salter to the point where like a lot of the animals of the fish just fucking died and these people still live there.

[1444] And the city got flooded.

[1445] Yeah, it got flooded.

[1446] That's what fucked everything there.

[1447] And when you see it, man, you're like, what the fuck?

[1448] It looks like some crazy, it looks like some Mad Mac shit like we were talking about.

[1449] It looks like Armageddon.

[1450] Yeah, so we're going to do a Death Squad photo shoot from out there.

[1451] People live there.

[1452] Yeah.

[1453] There's 400 people that live there.

[1454] That's incredible.

[1455] It's cheap as fuck.

[1456] You can buy a house for a property for like, man, it was a three.

[1457] It was probably $3 ,000.

[1458] How much?

[1459] You can buy a lot.

[1460] Time does it take to drive out there?

[1461] It takes about two hours.

[1462] We should build a Desquod.

[1463] studio at the Salt and Sea and just do once a month salt and sea shows.

[1464] If I could buy a house for 300 or 3 ,000 bucks No, you could probably buy 300.

[1465] It might be 300 but I think it's 3 ,000.

[1466] Some of the people that they show that live there, seriously, they're like crazy homeless people.

[1467] Like meth heads?

[1468] Yeah.

[1469] Well, that's okay.

[1470] As long as we don't leave any equipment behind, but what if we have a place we set it up, we get some couches in there and shit, get an internet connection, bring our laptops so we don't really have to have equipment there.

[1471] You bring our laptops in our mixer, set that shit up, and and do like a weekly or a monthly show from the Salton Sea.

[1472] It's scary.

[1473] It is scary.

[1474] I mean, there was a thriving mini French Riviera right in California, two hours away.

[1475] I think it's the biggest man -made lake in the country.

[1476] Yeah.

[1477] And it's huge.

[1478] The biggest body of water in California.

[1479] It was thriving in the 50s.

[1480] They were building all these condos and houses.

[1481] People were moving out there.

[1482] It was amazing.

[1483] They were like, fuck Palm Springs.

[1484] You ain't got no goddamn lake.

[1485] They were going to Salt and, see and then they had a big flood like the levees broke and all the shit because it was all manmade flooded everything out people freaked out and there's still people today they're living there that were waiting for it to come back they were back they are they remember the good old days and it's dark it's like a it's like it really is a ghost town it reminds me like California remember Brad Pitt and and David Du Coveney remember the movie California California And they go through ghost towns, it's like this.

[1486] Oh, dude, well, you've driven from California to Vegas before.

[1487] You've done that, right?

[1488] A million times.

[1489] Didn't you go with me when we drove and you and me and Dimitri, and we stopped off in one of those little ghost towns where they had like a fake gunfight?

[1490] Do you remember that shit?

[1491] That wasn't me. It wasn't you?

[1492] No. It was me and Dimitri then.

[1493] We were headed to Vegas to see the K -1.

[1494] A couple times.

[1495] We did a couple K -1 trips.

[1496] Well, back then, there was no UFC in Vegas.

[1497] This is how old school we're going.

[1498] There was no UFC in Vegas, so Eddie and I would want to go see fights.

[1499] We'd have to go see K1 in Vegas.

[1500] Scott Coker used to promote K1 in Vegas.

[1501] And it's like hardly no one there.

[1502] It's tiny little ballroom.

[1503] The Bellagio, a ballroom.

[1504] It's like it was as big as where Tough Enough is.

[1505] Yes, exactly.

[1506] People don't know what Tough enough is.

[1507] Tough enough is a local amateur show in Vegas.

[1508] And we would go down there and there'd be, you know, a few hundred people.

[1509] And you'd get to see fucking Peter Ertz.

[1510] Peter Ertz for Stefan Lecco, you know, like high level.

[1511] Top of the food chain K1 guys were going at it, man. There were some great fucking fights.

[1512] K1 in Vegas was awesome.

[1513] They should bring that back.

[1514] I tried to talk to Dane about that.

[1515] I try to say, dude, man, maybe you should fucking get involved in K1.

[1516] Bring K1 in.

[1517] I'm telling you, think about what's the most exciting aspect of the UFC.

[1518] It's striking, right?

[1519] You get the best strikers in the world.

[1520] Look, I love watching Abu Dhabi.

[1521] I love watching Marcelo Garcia and Pabloovich go after it.

[1522] I love watching Jacare and Hodge Gracie go after it in Abu Dhabi.

[1523] because they're the elite of the elite grapplers.

[1524] I also like watching elite of the elite strikers, you know, in just straight up striking.

[1525] There's a lot of guys, you don't get to see their full striking skills in the UFC because they're always worried about getting taken down.

[1526] They're always worried about getting submitted.

[1527] They're always worrying about, you know, dealing with certain things.

[1528] So it's hard for them to relax and just get into the striking.

[1529] But if you watch like that K1 Max, you ever watched that shit, dude?

[1530] I'll be honest with you, man. I try to watch it.

[1531] It's hard to watch it.

[1532] Is it really?

[1533] Yeah, I'm not that into it.

[1534] man. I try to.

[1535] Maybe it's because you don't have a striking background, man. Maybe that's what it is.

[1536] To me, it's exciting as fuck.

[1537] That's all I watch.

[1538] When I watch fights, when I have the garage, you know, I have the setup in the garage when I work out.

[1539] All I watch is K1 Max.

[1540] That's all I want.

[1541] And Bader Harri fights.

[1542] I watch that crazy motherfucker.

[1543] Those fights are wild, dude.

[1544] All that fucking, just straight stand -up, man. When they're leg kicking the shit out of each other and flying knees and, dude.

[1545] You can't watch that?

[1546] That doesn't exciting to you?

[1547] I want to.

[1548] I want to like it, but it's boring as hell.

[1549] Wow, that's so weird.

[1550] I want to.

[1551] It's got to be because that's not your background.

[1552] Because it's like, look, I like watching pool.

[1553] I watch professional pool.

[1554] I got hours of pool on my laptop.

[1555] I got like maybe 10, 15 hours of pool matches on my laptop at any given time.

[1556] So if I'm ever in an airport by myself, ooh, I'll watch Meeke Eminen play F .N. And I'll sit there and watch a pool match that I already know the result.

[1557] You got to be.

[1558] God.

[1559] I watch it happily.

[1560] If I'm going to watch striking, it's got to, it's got to, there's got to be a threat.

[1561] of the fight going to the ground.

[1562] I mean, if I'm going to watch striking, it's going to be Czech Congo and Pat Berry.

[1563] That's what I'm going to watch.

[1564] You know what I mean?

[1565] Right.

[1566] There's a threat of going down.

[1567] They were on the floor.

[1568] They didn't stop it.

[1569] I mean, that fight could have been stopped two different times easily.

[1570] Was that not the craziest end of a fight you have ever seen ever?

[1571] Does the greatest comeback in the history of combat sports?

[1572] I was watching it with a friend who doesn't train.

[1573] He was just telling me right before the match.

[1574] He goes, I hate it when people, when a fighter hurts another fighter, and he goes down, and then he jumps in his guard.

[1575] and then strives to knock him out, why doesn't he just let him get up and stand up?

[1576] I go, well, a lot of times when a guy's hurt, he throws haymakers, and if you catch one of those haymakers while you think you have him hurt, so many fights can just turn it at the blink of an eye.

[1577] You want to get him on the, you know, your natural instinct is, I got him hurt, let me put him in a spot where there's no way he's going to knock me out.

[1578] Exactly.

[1579] So people just, that's the natural instinct.

[1580] I got you hurt.

[1581] Let me ground and pound you now.

[1582] And I know for sure that there's...

[1583] You see even strikers do that all the time, man. Yes, exactly.

[1584] And they get on the inside.

[1585] Yeah, they'll climb in a guy's guard.

[1586] We were just talking about that and it happened.

[1587] Yeah, yeah.

[1588] If Pat Berry would have just took him down and pounded him on the ground, that wouldn't have happened.

[1589] Did you ever see Diego Corrales and Castillo?

[1590] No. You never saw that fight?

[1591] It was the boxing equivalent to that.

[1592] Jose Luis Castillo and Diego Corrales.

[1593] Diego Corrales was fucked up.

[1594] He was getting dropped and battered.

[1595] It looked like the fight was almost stopped.

[1596] Bang!

[1597] He connects and Corrales goes out.

[1598] It was just like that.

[1599] I mean, almost except there was knockdowns and he counted.

[1600] The excitement level of this was higher because there was no counting.

[1601] You know, it was like the fight was almost over at any second.

[1602] And literally, Dan Murgliana got on top of them, was going to touch them and stop the fight.

[1603] Like he had his hands over them to stop the fight.

[1604] But then Czech Congo went for a single and he changed his mind.

[1605] Like a brilliant decision.

[1606] A lot of people said, oh, they should have stopped that fight.

[1607] The fuck they should have stopped that fight.

[1608] Look who won.

[1609] He won by knockout.

[1610] There's no way he should have stopped his fight.

[1611] He still wanted a fight.

[1612] He still could fight.

[1613] He still could win.

[1614] and he did win.

[1615] So there's no way they should have stopped that fight early.

[1616] It was the absolute perfect stoppage.

[1617] Look, you had to stop the fight once Pat Barry was out because Pat Barry was unconscious.

[1618] That's why I hate early stoppages.

[1619] Oh, it's the worst.

[1620] Let them take an extra shot.

[1621] They understand the danger.

[1622] They're in there because they're crazy freaks.

[1623] I agree with you.

[1624] I don't like seeing a guy getting blasted when he's already hurt because I know what it does to them.

[1625] I know the physiological effect.

[1626] Did you see, hey, pull this up, man. Pull this up.

[1627] Roy Jones Jr. can't say spectacular.

[1628] You're going to listen to this man. This is traveling all over the internet.

[1629] This is a really uncomfortable thing.

[1630] Am I going to hear it on my headphones?

[1631] Yeah, yeah, you'll see it.

[1632] You'll hear it in your headphones.

[1633] You don't have to see it because it's just Roy Jones doing commentary, and he can't say the word spectacular.

[1634] You know, he just got knocked the fuck out by a Russian guy.

[1635] A Russian guy battered him in the 12th round.

[1636] When white guys start knocking you out, you know it's over.

[1637] That's done.

[1638] Listen to play it, play it, and this is going to freak you out.

[1639] Listen to Roy Jones.

[1640] She's starting to slip.

[1641] Listen to this.

[1642] We're hearing this.

[1643] Roy Jones Jr. And Roy, what is it about Canelo Alvarez that has this region and this country starstruck?

[1644] Well, it's just like we said, he's different.

[1645] He's something spectacular.

[1646] Spectatical.

[1647] He's different because he has difficult in hair.

[1648] He has difficult skin.

[1649] Wow.

[1650] That's the beginning.

[1651] If you see it on video, it's even more noticeable.

[1652] Like, he really was.

[1653] Yeah.

[1654] And, you know, what's dark about it?

[1655] at all, man, is that Roy Jones was the guy who never wanted to get hit.

[1656] Roy Jones was the guy who never wanted to fight really dangerous fighters because he was always worried about brain damage because he was buddies with Gerald McClellan.

[1657] Gerald McClellan was one of the best fucking middleweights and light heavy weights ever.

[1658] Gerald McClellan was a fucking animal.

[1659] But in his prime, he got in a fight with Nigel Ben and he caught a lot of weight for that fight.

[1660] And during the fight, the fight was ugly.

[1661] And he blasted Nigel Ben in the first round, but Nigel Ben had mad heart and Nigel Ben hung in there and was there in the second and third and they they fought like dogs dude and they head butted and they clashed heads and at one time Nigel Ben and him clashed heads after Nigel Ben was jacking him with some punches like they were just they were just going after it man and he Gerald McClellan took a knee he went down and took a knee and then quit and then sat down his corner and everybody was like whoa what the fuck is going on and then he just collapsed like he was obviously done like he was his brain was starting to bleed and he'd realized if something was terribly wrong so he tried to like you know stop he started to try to sit down like so much that a guy like him who's a just a furious killer watched like the gerald mcclellan jillian jackson fight julian jackson rather if you want to see some some crazy barbaric top of the food chain chaos chaos action boxers going at it because julian jackson was like one of the hardest punchers ever and general mcclellan fucked him up and it's a crazy fight it's a fun boxing fight to watch but so roy jones junior saw that man and never wanted to be that guy he was always scared that he would be like Gerald McClellan, man. He was always scared that he would have some serious brain damage and he would get really badly hurt.

[1662] So he never took any damage, man. He fought so smart and his reflexes were so good.

[1663] Up until he fought Antonio Tarver, he never really got fucked up.

[1664] And then he beat John Ruiz.

[1665] He went all the way up to heavyweight and who knows what he did to get to heavyweight because he was like 200 pounds and shredded.

[1666] And that's not normal.

[1667] Usually when you do that, you're doing some sort of testosterone or something.

[1668] You're taking something.

[1669] And when what a lot of people don't realize, especially like fighters, they don't know who to turn to, they get their advice from, you know, from either shitty doctors or they get their advice from bodybuilders that are their friends or something like that.

[1670] What people don't understand about hormones is if you jolt your body, you make your body like hyper testosterone levels where they're far above normal.

[1671] What happens is afterwards, your shit crashes.

[1672] So when you get off this testosterone, if you take some crazy amount of testosterone to your system, your balls shut down.

[1673] So you need double the time that you were on that shit to recover.

[1674] So say if you went on a cycle and you were Roy Jones, this is hypothetically speaking, and decided to gain 20 pounds of muscle, if you were on a cycle of steroids for three months, you need six months just to get your shit down to a normal level again.

[1675] Your shit is fucked up, man. Your balls aren't working anymore.

[1676] You're doing something that your body's not supposed to have.

[1677] Your body's not supposed to have these levels in it.

[1678] And so when your body has those levels, it shuts off natural production.

[1679] And it takes a while for that shit to kick back in.

[1680] And if you watch the difference between Roy Jones's body from the Antonio Tarver fight to the John Ruiz fight, the John Ruiz fight he fought at heavyweight, and the next fight is at light heavyweight.

[1681] And he was like smooth.

[1682] He looked like he had no muscle tone.

[1683] It just didn't look good, man. He looked slow.

[1684] And Antonio Tarver knocked him the fuck out.

[1685] And that was the first time he ever got knocked out.

[1686] And from that point on, it was all downhill.

[1687] And then he fought Glenn Johnson.

[1688] And Glenn Johnson fucked him up.

[1689] Glenn Johnson knocked him unconscious.

[1690] Dead, stiff -legged, you know, just, you know that arms up in the air when they're just out cold like that Glenn Johnson did that to him and ever since then man it's been a slow slide you know he fought scared against Hopkins he didn't didn't go after Hopkins he just was happy to win a decision or happy to rather to lose a decision and did not get knocked out he never tried to win that fight you know Hopkins was just too good for him and you know and then he fought that guy Danny green in Australia he got knocked out in the first round and then he fought this Russian dude and got knocked the fuck out in the last round and it was ugly dude.

[1691] He froze up like halfway, like was crumbling and the referee, the guy looks at the referee and the referee wouldn't stop it.

[1692] So he goes all right, baping!

[1693] While he's crumpling, while like Roy Jones is essentially slowly crumpling.

[1694] This dude tees off with two full power shots and he face plants, completely unconscious.

[1695] And so then he goes on HBO a couple weeks later and he can't say spectacular.

[1696] We are watching the slow slide.

[1697] We are watching everything that that guy was terrified of when he was a 20 year old phenom when he was on top of the world lighten people up what about that rap song that he did dude put it you got to talk in the microphone we can't hear that you know that yeah you all must have forgot yeah we need to see that we need to hear that yeah throw that no i think we can man now that now that we're on serious we're on serious satellite radio we're not allowed to play music anymore at all we get sued did you see this shit yeah the Nebraska power plant is about to get fucking flooded here's a question why you see this shit why look at the pictures it obviously they've had have flooding problems here.

[1698] Show Eddie that photo because that's just a trip.

[1699] You have to see the photo.

[1700] That's a nuclear power plant, bro.

[1701] Why isn't there a wall?

[1702] At least the size of maybe 10 times the height of the current wall around that whole entire place if it's near water or the ability to get flooded?

[1703] Well, there's a lot of floods going on, man, that nobody ever anticipated.

[1704] You know, what we're finding out right now with Japan and what we're finding out with this as well is there's not they didn't do a whole lot of what ifs when they built these fucking things.

[1705] Right.

[1706] You know, first of all, they don't have any options to shut them down if they don't have any power.

[1707] When they lost the backup generators in Japan and everything got flooded out by the tsunami, they had essentially, they had eight hours before that thing started melting down.

[1708] They're fucked.

[1709] There's no way to stop it.

[1710] They made these crazy things, these fusion or fission reactors, whatever they are, fusion or fission.

[1711] Which one is it?

[1712] Nuclear fusion?

[1713] I think it's fusion.

[1714] Fusion?

[1715] Whatever the fuck it is.

[1716] This incredible amount of energy in this one, you know, one isolated area, and they can't stop it.

[1717] They don't know how to stop it.

[1718] What's going on in Japan right now, man?

[1719] Mityo Kaku just wrote a really fascinating and terrifying article about it about how there are three complete meltdowns in those plants in Japan.

[1720] And, you know, there's people online that are in denial about this for some reason.

[1721] Like someone in my message board was, you know, on a thread about this was like, oh, you know, you're giving out misinformation about Japan, it's not that bad.

[1722] Like the fuck it's not, man. There's video online on YouTube of people that live miles and miles away that have taken Geiger counters and they walk around with the Geiger counter on and then they take the Geiger counter and they put the Geiger counter on the ground and that's when it's fucking terrifying because in the air when you walk it around it looks like yeah it's a little radioactive but not too bad but then when you put the fucking thing on the ground there's a couple videos like this you see the fucking levels are off the charts like way into the levels where people aren't supposed to be anywhere near seriously yeah and it's on the ground man it's on the fucking ground because that's where apparently all the radioactivity collects it collects on the ground so this guy takes this this Geiger counter and puts it on the ground so I'm freaking out man so I bought some Geiger counters on Amazon try to buy some Geiger counters are you serious?

[1723] Yeah especially after we had the conversation about Rockadine Rockadine which is only you know fucking 10 miles from here or something like that had a total meltdown supposedly in the 50s that's probably where the zombies would start right in Japan yeah dude I think we should do with Japan is we should help those fucking people that are anywhere near that place help them get out and then use that as a place to store the world's garbage that place sucks That's not your idea.

[1724] I've been saying that on stage for weeks, bitch.

[1725] Yeah, and I said, I'm the one that said that.

[1726] How dare you?

[1727] Like two podcasts ago, I said that.

[1728] I was like, we should use nuclear places to put all our trash.

[1729] You don't remember that?

[1730] Dude, I said that, too.

[1731] You think you said that before me?

[1732] Yeah, yeah, I did.

[1733] But no, it's not.

[1734] You're sure you said that before I said it on stage?

[1735] 100%.

[1736] I doubt that bitch.

[1737] No, because when I said, you're like, that's actually a really good idea.

[1738] He might be right now that I think about it.

[1739] Either way.

[1740] It's a perfect idea.

[1741] It's a perfect idea.

[1742] Yeah, I think it's an awesome idea.

[1743] Whoever's idea it was.

[1744] Maybe it was yours.

[1745] I smoked too much weed.

[1746] If it was your idea.

[1747] Ninja zombies.

[1748] There's a movie right there.

[1749] A spot where we could just dump garbage?

[1750] Garbage.

[1751] Right into the hole of it.

[1752] Fly over in a helicopter and just drop it right into the...

[1753] What would happen?

[1754] Well, hopefully this...

[1755] What is that thing called that's making a black hole?

[1756] Hopefully it turns into a really bad black hole and then we could just put the garbage on the black hole.

[1757] The large Hadron Collider, so we could litter in other galaxies.

[1758] That's a terrible idea.

[1759] That'd be awesome.

[1760] And all these e -warks crying like a...

[1761] You know, they have hypernovas in space.

[1762] They find these hypernovas that are, they're basically these, like, really super powerful novas that have these jets of energy spraying out in either direction.

[1763] What if that was garbage?

[1764] What if we got, like, really close?

[1765] We saw, like, cans and shit and rubbers.

[1766] And it turns out that all that shit spraying out was the garbage of another dimension.

[1767] They had figured out how to launch all of their garbage with a rocket ship into black holes.

[1768] The planet's all clean.

[1769] The planet's super clean.

[1770] Like, they all walk around with a portable, like, connection to that black hole?

[1771] I saw another thing that I see, and I'm going to report on this because this is number nine for me. This is the ninth time I've seen this.

[1772] A fucking guy in a Prius throwing a cigarette out the window.

[1773] God damn, that drives me crazy.

[1774] This motherfucker pulled into a organic foods parking lot, an organic food store, gets out of his Prius and throws his fucking cigarette on the ground.

[1775] I'm like, you cunt.

[1776] You dumb, dumb, dumb cunt.

[1777] You stupid fuck.

[1778] what kind of a person goes so far to think they're helping the environment by buying a Prius?

[1779] He had a ponytail on, so he's like, I'm living natural.

[1780] I'm going to go get some natural organic food, and I'm just going to throw my cigarette right there.

[1781] I think that was a King of the Hill episode.

[1782] Did it really?

[1783] Do it on King of the Hill?

[1784] He started working at Whole Foods, and it was similar to that.

[1785] Did he throw cigarettes out the window at Whole Foods?

[1786] They had Priuses, and they were just constantly contradicting themselves like that.

[1787] Well, it's people, man. I've seen nine times.

[1788] now nine times I've seen a guy in a Prius throw a cigarette out the window nine over the course of my entire life this is the ninth guy I've been documenting them the last one was in San Francisco the last one in San Francisco I saw two in a weekend I was there I was there Thursday through Sunday working at Cobbs and I saw two guys in their fucking Priuses throw cigarettes out the window that's incredible it's incredible you should videotape it on YouTube you never know to have your fucking camera out like there's a guy in a Prius let's follow him smoking I know he's got this fuck he's gonna throw it out the fucking window Gizmodo also has an article about LSD being used to treat what they call suicide headaches, which are people that have really bad headaches to the point where they almost want to kill themselves, like migraines times a billion, right?

[1789] So these two psychiatrers have been giving LSD to these patients.

[1790] And I think they said like almost all the patients, all six patients reported decreasing the number of cluster attacks, and five said this effect lasted for months after they had taken LSD.

[1791] Well, if they had the right dosage of LSD, if you could administer it in a laboratory and you knew exactly what you were getting, there was an article really recently that said that MDMA, which is ecstasy and LSD, are far closer to being available for prescription than anybody would really imagine.

[1792] Really?

[1793] Yeah, far closer.

[1794] I tell you, man, that is...

[1795] For therapeutic use.

[1796] That is one of the most beautiful drugs in the road.

[1797] It's incredible.

[1798] Molly, pure ecstasy or whatever it is.

[1799] I can't get enough of it.

[1800] But what's weird is recently I bought some ecstasy, and I didn't feel the same of normal ecstasy feeling.

[1801] And you came in talking like Roy Jones.

[1802] Allegedly.

[1803] And so I was telling this other guy I know, I'm like, hey, yeah, so I got this stuff.

[1804] It looked like Molly, but the guy said it was ecstasy.

[1805] And it did this.

[1806] This was my effects on it.

[1807] He goes, oh, yeah, that's bas salts.

[1808] People are actually selling that as ecstasy a lot in L .A. right now.

[1809] Oh, so you did that basalt shit?

[1810] You did that mess shit?

[1811] Bass salt in the house.

[1812] You're a retardant.

[1813] You're just doing whatever people get you.

[1814] And what's funny is it felt, it felt like ecstasy.

[1815] Like it started like, oh, okay, here it goes.

[1816] I'm feeling good, feeling good.

[1817] I guess I'm tired.

[1818] Good night.

[1819] It almost got to the point.

[1820] So it got like euphoric.

[1821] And then.

[1822] Euphoric body kind of feeling good, kind of like the ecstasy feeling.

[1823] But then it just fizzles off.

[1824] Does every ecstasy have that, that next day blah feeling?

[1825] Well, I was using onetlabs .com's roll on.

[1826] and roll off so I had no feeling the next day I felt fine and this stuff really works the honest stuff felt like I gave that shit the neutropic formula Eddie you know we're making a brain pill Oh I gotta talk about this too We're making a brain pill We're making a new trope No no no me and Chris Marcus Chris Marcus doing all the work I'm gonna help promote it But he started a laboratory When he left Flashlight Started a laboratory for He's been on the podcast a bunch of times And twice And he decided to come up with his own business And one of them was that there's a bunch of different neutropics, a bunch of different, like, supplements that can aid in brain function.

[1827] And what he did is combine all the best ones and put them together.

[1828] Dude, they give you the craziest.

[1829] Well, that's when I had the Arnold Schwarzenegger, Arnold Schwarzenegger dream.

[1830] My girlfriend, I have been letting her have some of it, nightmares.

[1831] Really?

[1832] Just intense nightmares.

[1833] And I didn't have nightmares, but I had intense dreams.

[1834] Yeah.

[1835] After you said that, I started actually realizing, oh, it's because of that.

[1836] You go to health food stores They have like bottle of brain factors They're not Well it may be like that But this is going to be much stronger This stuff is like super Larry had one called brain factors And had like ginkoblobo Yeah Everything for the brain all in one formula I don't know what his levels were And what stuff he had As opposed to what stuff Chris has had I would like to look at the two of them But whatever it is This shit that Chris has put together He's thoroughly researched this And come up with this incredible formula It really fucking works First of all the really freaky thing is man You don't get tired on this shit That's the weird thing Like, if I travel all the way across the country, you would figure by the time I get there five hours later, I'm exhausted, right?

[1837] But when I take these fucking pills, man, we did a show on Friday.

[1838] We flew a red eye, all right?

[1839] Landed Friday morning.

[1840] I didn't sleep at all.

[1841] I slept a little bit on the plane.

[1842] I ate something, got in the shower, went to the UFC weigh -ins, went from the weigh -ins to got some food, ate food, worked over my material, went over some of my material, got with Joey, we smoked a joint, went on stage, Then did our show.

[1843] Afterwards, went to hang out with Ralphie Mae.

[1844] Afterwards, went to a strip club.

[1845] Afterwards, came back to the hotel, and I'm still awake.

[1846] I'm like, how the fuck am I awake?

[1847] And then I realized I took six of those fucking pills.

[1848] Six?

[1849] I took three earlier.

[1850] Three, yeah, because I was exhausted.

[1851] I took three in the morning and then three, like, an hour before the show.

[1852] Wow.

[1853] Whoa, dog.

[1854] I was figuring some shit out, man. The crazy thing is when you have dreams, the dreams are super vivid and you can remember them, man. It's because your mind's, whatever receptors awake, something's awake that's usually not awake.

[1855] Because that's like when we were talking about nicotine, where it keeps your nicotine receptors in your head awake when you're on, you know, do a patch while you're sleeping.

[1856] Whatever's in that shit has something that it's reacting to and keeping it awake.

[1857] Well, what I was impressed with is that I had some good ideas and I didn't want to get up and write them down.

[1858] And I actually remember them.

[1859] Oh, really?

[1860] That never happens.

[1861] Yeah.

[1862] That never happens.

[1863] I feel sharper, definitely.

[1864] I was going over that video.

[1865] You know, there's that video.

[1866] Have you seen it online of the Miss USA pageant?

[1867] contestants and they're asking them about evolution have you seen it yeah pull that shit up because it's fucking fascinating pull it up and we'll just play a little bit of it because it's the most ridiculous shit ever they get these girls and all of them from the deep south all of them don't believe in evolution they're all like well I don't believe in evolution you know and I'm thinking while I'm there of course you don't believe in evolution you're 20 years old nobody's ever caveman fucked you you nobody ever gorilla fucked you you don't you don't know what darkness really is you don't know that there's shades to man there's a there's a whole progression There's a fucking spectrum of human behavior From really civilized and beautiful and nice To barbaric and animalistic And that shit's because we came from fucking animals, Hooker You haven't, you haven't experienced that yet In your little cute life with your sash on You're fucking, I remembered it all vividly When I woke up in the morning What is the...

[1868] We don't really have to see it.

[1869] It's really low -hanging fruit It's low -hanging fruit It's just really, really poor dumb girls That are 20 years old And they're asking them about evolution And they're saying things that they want people to hear Well, I think Jesus put me here for a purpose Because they think that all the people from their church And all the people back on all That's what they would want to hear You know, when you're 20 years old You're indoctrinated into the world of religion What are the odds that you actually have a real opinion of it You actually sat down and sorted this shit out Most of the time they're just spitting out shit That other people have been saying to them their whole life You know?

[1870] 20 years old The fuck did you know when you were 20 You know, could you imagine if somebody had you on video Talking about what you thought about the world When you were 20?

[1871] I was an atheist at 20 Do you got to talk in the mic, bro?

[1872] I was an atheist at 20 Yeah I have video made 20's a smoking weed With a bunch of my friends That's all I cared about Smoking weed and music Yeah well you probably just You were stuck in Ohio too Yeah You know what the fuck You were in Columbus You know what am I doing You're all over the place now Your shit's blowing the fuck up Your 10th planets Are you ever at home Are you going out to a different city every week Are you doing classes I tell everybody what you're talking about Yeah What do you were talking You were saying 10th planets.

[1873] Oh, 10th planets.

[1874] Yeah, Jiu Jitistice schools, but you have them all over the place now.

[1875] How many do you have now?

[1876] Around 30.

[1877] Wow.

[1878] And so you're traveling pretty much every weekend to do a seminar at one of them?

[1879] I'm trying to do two a month.

[1880] And for me, vacation is staying in L .A. staying home.

[1881] Yeah.

[1882] And I like being at my house.

[1883] I love hanging with my bunny and my girlfriend, just relax and go check out a movie, just doing nothing.

[1884] I love doing nothing at home.

[1885] When you have a day when you don't have to fucking be anywhere, oh, it's so beautiful.

[1886] So I try to stay home two weekends out of the month, you know.

[1887] That's why I quit the UFC as well.

[1888] If I was trying to make it to my schools and do the UFC, I'd be gone every weekend.

[1889] Just can't do it.

[1890] Well, that's good that your schools have become quite successful now.

[1891] And it's so funny, I see your shirt, your logo at all these places.

[1892] I would be just sitting there going like, oh, my God, the guy has a 10th planet shirt on.

[1893] And it makes me almost want to be like, hey, dude, what's up?

[1894] You know, like, I feel like, oh, they all know Eddie's.

[1895] Why don't you just take Jiu -Jitsu?

[1896] I got Ari to do it for a year.

[1897] year well one my knee two time you need is that fucked up it'll pop out a place in jiu jitzu probably i'm not going to risk that what was the last time it popped out a place it's only if it popped out once and then once it was close popping at where it felt like it did how long after your actually injury was this that it popped out uh three years four years or really so it was pretty far afterwards yeah yeah so it's still it was skiing too and i was like oh my god did it just pop out that fucking hurt you know you got to develop a higher tolerance of pain son uh you know i just don't have time that's one thing you get that's one thing you from jiu -jitsu man you got a high -ass tolerance to pain because you're always in pain you're always getting smashed you're always in your neck's getting choked yours your face is getting smushed you know like when you get tattooed like some people get tattooed and they fucking scream and agony i fell asleep getting tattooed once literally knotted out just you get used to putting it out you get used to putting pain and in any martial art anything you're hitting things and moitai guys man you don't think they get accustomed to pain you leg kicks always hurt man they're gonna hurt forever but you just get accustomed to that you just deal with it you know your legs certainly toughen up, especially your, you know, your thighs toughen up and your shins really toughen up.

[1898] They actually develop like little micro fractures over the surface of your shin from clashing into other shins and kicking fucking banana trees and shit like that.

[1899] Like those crazy Thai guys that are constantly kicking like banana trees, they develop like shins that are like weapons, man. You know, there's like a sport science on it where they showed Melcher, God, I forget the last, his name, his phone, but he's a, he's a Muay Thai guy.

[1900] but he's a former world champion and they had him kick baseball bats and he was breaking baseball bats with his shins dude dude it was so crazy to watch just swinging that leg kick into a baseball bat and snapping the handle off fuck that dude he did two different kinds he did an ash one an ash bat and a maple bat because the ash bat apparently is a little easier so then he moved to the maple one next oh dude yeah that is I'm grabbing my shins right now.

[1901] There's such a difference in striking, the difference between striking in jiu -jitsu.

[1902] I mean, you can get hurt in both of them for sure.

[1903] Miguel Torres, former WBC Bantamweight champion, posted a picture.

[1904] Worst BJJ injury ever at my gym, and it's a dude's toe.

[1905] His toe got broken.

[1906] Have you seen it?

[1907] You have to see it.

[1908] You need to look at it.

[1909] A dude's toe got broken and snapped off and the bone was sticking straight out.

[1910] Dude, it was ha, ha, hard core.

[1911] And I was like, yeah, that can happen, man. Dudes can get fucked.

[1912] up but in striking you're much more likely to get roy jonesed and striking that shit is uh that shit's happening on a regular dudes are constantly getting brained you know there's constantly getting knocked out there was a post on the underground the other day some guy was talking about getting knocked out in training you know and how how much it pissed you off some some new guy came in didn't really know what he's doing swang full blast and he didn't get out of the way and he got knocked unconscious you know and fucking not good man when you watch something like pat barry in check Congo does that shit uh does that shit register with you do you see that and go whoa like what's what's going on inside pat barry's head right now and check congo us both of them got rained on you know yeah i mean it was for a fan it was amazing but i would never want to do that i love watching it though but i'm not down for getting hit it'd be awesome if they could fix it you know it's like you know if uh if you tear a knee ligament they can fucking get another ligament, stick it in there, and screw it in place, and they can fix you up nice, you know?

[1913] If you, like, hurt your brain, they go, dude, don't worry about it.

[1914] We're going to put you in this chamber.

[1915] It rejuvenates all your brain cells, and it's, you know, you're going to be 100 % in a couple weeks.

[1916] What if this Chris Marcus stuff actually does that?

[1917] I don't think so.

[1918] Well, it's going to be a lot more complicated than some herbs, I think.

[1919] I would think that if there's going to be something that regenerates brain tissue that's injured, it's going to be something like some nanotechnology, something that rehabilitates or, you know, fixes tissue.

[1920] You guys should sponsor Roy Jones and see what happens.

[1921] He's all speaking Shakespearean off the top of his head.

[1922] This is spectacular.

[1923] He's not even willing to retire.

[1924] He owes taxes, apparently.

[1925] He owes $3 .5 million in taxes, according to my online sources that I loosely and quickly Googled.

[1926] How does someone with millions end up on?

[1927] They don't pay, man. They don't fucking pay.

[1928] They just don't have a business manager or an accountant.

[1929] They just get stupid, man. They get stupid.

[1930] They get stupid.

[1931] But they just spend all that money and they have some wacky motherfucker that's handling their money.

[1932] Just like a kind of guy would have a wacky motherfucker handling his hormones.

[1933] There's a guy that would have a wacky motherfucker handling his money.

[1934] And that guy tells you, like Wesley Snipes's dude told him, you know, hey, you don't have to pay taxes, man. That shit is unconstitutional.

[1935] Look, I'll show you the clauses, man. They're even going to come after you because they don't want anybody to know about this.

[1936] And they're like, oh, yeah, no, they're going to come after you and you're going to have to go to jail for a few years.

[1937] You know, you're a movie star, and all of a sudden you're in jail.

[1938] He's still in jail?

[1939] Yeah, man. He's in jail right now.

[1940] He's in jail right now.

[1941] He's going to be in jail for three years.

[1942] They want to let people know, hey, we will lock you in a fucking cage, stupid.

[1943] You need to pay us, and you need to let everybody know that you're paying, and let everybody know that they need to pay.

[1944] We all need money to make this fucking thing work.

[1945] Cops don't work for free.

[1946] You know, it's not free to fix the highways.

[1947] We need fucking money.

[1948] Even if you don't agree with it, even if it's too much, and I agree it is.

[1949] It's definitely too much.

[1950] You've got to pay that shit anyway, son.

[1951] That puts you in a fucking cage, right, Brian?

[1952] Didn't you have some tax problems?

[1953] I still do.

[1954] What's your tax problems?

[1955] Now the state's coming after me. What did you do?

[1956] I used turbotax and blindly was like, oh, I have receipts for all this shit, thinking that I would just use my credit card statements.

[1957] And then I didn't know that credit card statements only go back now like a year.

[1958] Like if you want to go back in time and look at a statement or something like that, they don't let you go any farther than a year.

[1959] You can't even find them?

[1960] No, no, no, no. So I didn't know that.

[1961] So I was doing my taxes thinking, like, oh, yeah, you know, I got proof of purchase, you know, on my...

[1962] What is that, like, the bank getting together with the fucking tax people?

[1963] Absolutely.

[1964] Do you think that they conspire?

[1965] They're like, this is fuck a lot of people out of money, man. We can get a lot more money that way.

[1966] Yeah.

[1967] All these assholes claiming deductibles and shit.

[1968] Yeah.

[1969] It's stressful stuff, man. I've had a business manager now three years, and it relieves so much stress.

[1970] I don't think about shit.

[1971] If the government came after me, I got all that shit under.

[1972] Well, now I just don't do it.

[1973] Even though I should be writing all this shit off that I do and stuff like that.

[1974] Now I'm just like, you know what?

[1975] Fuck it.

[1976] I will just do like I do and...

[1977] Why don't you go to like H &R Block?

[1978] Because it's like $1 ,000 or something like that?

[1979] I don't want to do that shit.

[1980] Is it $1 ,000?

[1981] No, it's a couple hundred bucks, man. Really?

[1982] H &R Block.

[1983] I was doing that before I got my business manager.

[1984] My girl right now just paid something like $700 at H &R Block to do her taxes.

[1985] Really?

[1986] Maybe he just robbed her.

[1987] Maybe he's like, look, this bitch.

[1988] I'm going to give me a lot of money.

[1989] Yeah.

[1990] I mean, to me, I'd rather, you know, I hate taxes so much, so I'd rather just go to TurboTax, take 10 minutes and do it and get it sent away, you know, and then having to pay extra and try to find money and do all that crap, which I should do.

[1991] You need an accountant, man. Yeah, it's also goddamn fucking complicated.

[1992] It's too stressful to think about that shit.

[1993] It is so fucking complicated, isn't it?

[1994] Yo, when my movie drops, I'll go get me an accountant.

[1995] When your movie drops?

[1996] Yeah, yeah.

[1997] What are you going to do in the movie?

[1998] Porn.

[1999] Hmm.

[2000] First person.

[2001] Does not work any money in porn anymore, dude.

[2002] You got to come up with another strategy.

[2003] That strategy would have been the shit in 1993.

[2004] you could have been like Peter North Peter North drives a Ferrari and he did gay porn yeah how about that how about that he's the only one that got away with doing gay porn he did gay porn they're like all right don't do it again and then he came back and did regular porn from then on out but he did a little gay porn I didn't believe it like people told me it was like no way not Peter man no way dude you know because if you're gonna have a porn idol that's the one to have you know dude shoots these giant monster loads but then you go and find some videos online there's a dude sucking his cock and like Hey, hey, hey, hey, and this dude's boned him in the ass.

[2005] He's like, hey, hey, hey, and he tried to say there was like a body double, son, they ain't no CGI that good.

[2006] Did we talk about the Hungriest Bud Award?

[2007] Yeah.

[2008] Do we talk about that already?

[2009] Yeah.

[2010] I talked about it on stage.

[2011] I think the second time that you came on or the, oh, we did.

[2012] Really?

[2013] Yeah.

[2014] We talked about it on the podcast.

[2015] Yeah, second time.

[2016] That is a crazy story.

[2017] That's a good story.

[2018] It is a good story.

[2019] The quick version of it is that a friend of ours.

[2020] name we won't say it didn't do that I think we did a friend of ours no we didn't we never did how dare you a friend of ours was running a small mixed martial arts corporation and he found they did an internet search on one of their fighters and they found out that he had won the hungriest butt award and then they googled him there was no Google back then this is like the 90s and they found some online pictures of him with two dudes treating him like Chinese finger handcuffs how many dicks in your ass do you have to get to get that in a year to get that award like I think it's just like it's a criteria it's a strong weekend I think it's just what they call the video to sell it I don't think there was really like an award show no I think he won like AVM it was AVN Hungriest Butt or something I think it was the name of a video the Hungriest Butt Awards or something like that it wasn't an actual award that he won no I mean look look we could give out an award for the hungriest butt we could decide that Brian wins it you know they are you're in the business hey do you know who the hilly gracey of gay porn is like who is the master of get like who just crushes everybody who's the kelly slater for guy gay porn for gay porn i don't know anything about that must be there must be there must be a jennah jameson of gay porn right like the master of gay porn star we shouldn't even be googling this this probably puts you on a list yeah right male gay porn is there a guy that just stands head and shoulders above everyone else?

[2021] I don't know.

[2022] I don't know.

[2023] Maybe Twitter would know.

[2024] I bet if we ask Twitter, Dear Twitter, what is the number one gay male porn star in the world?

[2025] Is there a Michael Jordan of gay porn?

[2026] I will read off the first answer.

[2027] Probably not.

[2028] You don't think so?

[2029] No. I think there's so many, I don't know.

[2030] I just don't think porn.

[2031] There's always some Lance Armstrong type motherfucker that figures things out that other people can't.

[2032] Just rises to the top and becomes famous at a genre where no one else is getting famous.

[2033] Is there gay gang, gang bangs?

[2034] Like, is there a dude who went to 50 dudes?

[2035] Oh, they must be.

[2036] Do they D .P or Triple P in the butthole?

[2037] I don't know.

[2038] Do they do that?

[2039] I don't know.

[2040] Why you're asking me?

[2041] Okay, this guy says, I only watch stuff.

[2042] Brent Corrigan, or this is a woman, rather, Ampers, and she says it's Brent Corrigan that might be her ex -boyfriend.

[2043] Let's see.

[2044] Oh, yeah, might be your ex -boyfriend.

[2045] She might be like, this fucking clown.

[2046] I'm going to get it.

[2047] on the Joe Rogan podcast.

[2048] Okay, let's see.

[2049] He's a male modern gay pornograph best known for his stage name.

[2050] Hmm.

[2051] Yep, there he is.

[2052] Wow.

[2053] It was already highlighted.

[2054] What's our special about him?

[2055] Best known for his roles in schoolboy crush and Velvet Mafia.

[2056] He has won six.

[2057] Gay VN.

[2058] They have the Gay VNs, they have the Gay VNs.

[2059] They have the Gay VN awards, including Best Bottom Award, two consecutive years.

[2060] Do they count the butthole Or are they just talking about the shape of the butt Best bottom is you being on the bottom Taking in the ass Oh best bottom Yeah it doesn't mean They wouldn't say bottom instead of butthole You know Jesus Christ They're pretty open about how they feel Imagine the after party I love his bottom No they'd say his asshole What's the record for gay gangbangs It's a good question Is it?

[2061] What the fuck, Brian?

[2062] This guy's been a lot of goddamn movies All right Let's find out With the number, what would we, what would we say?

[2063] The record for gay gang bang, yeah.

[2064] Greece holds the record for the biggest gay gang bang.

[2065] Greece the movie?

[2066] No. That's probably a dude.

[2067] This was 780 men.

[2068] They crush us regular chicks.

[2069] Yeah, going nuts on ass, butt suck.

[2070] Wow, 780 men.

[2071] But not one dude, right?

[2072] Yeah, just one dude.

[2073] Dude, I believe they can.

[2074] got to crush women because women are doing like 50 maybe 100 is the record right but guys are way crazy that are probably more adorable than but holes I think that the problem is finding these guys to get in line and film it gay guys finding that would be hard because it's 10 % of population it would be hard but if the numbers weren't a problem they're willing to ship people in I think guy gay porn would crush regular porn and gang bangs wow listen to this though man listen to this shit the most ejaculatory orgasms ever recorded in one hour for a man is 16 16 in one hour orgasms recorded in one hour for a man dude who's that guy for the furthest a woman has ever been recorded to ejaculate was nine feet 29 inches well why would it be nine feet 29 she squirted 12 inches a foot that's stupid oh that doesn't make any sense a guy came 16 times in an hour why was it saying nine feet 29 inches oh it says three meters okay is that three meters is just nine feet right isn't it no there's three feet per meter right roughly right so three meters is nine feet so why is it nine feet 29 inches that doesn't make any sense of 12 inches is a foot anyway whatever the fuck this says the greatest distance ever attained for a jet of seamen that has ever been recorded is 18 feet nine inches that's huge wow wow that had to be lexington steel horsed schultz that's the guy's name that shot a load that went 18 feet in the in the air that's incredible up up in the air or across either way is fantastic it's got to be a distance no way it could be straight up dude 18 feet is that's incredible he has must have an arch to it a nice arc like a McDonald's sign type thing going on st louis for 18 feet did they video it I don't know they must say this mean these are all world records this is the top 10 sex world records it's on believe it or not the average speed of a man's loads what would you say your average speed your loads would be like 35 miles an hour what do you think brine 82 28 miles an hour 28 miles an hour so you're pretty close it's pretty close do you think if your car drove by you could tell the difference between cargo in 28 miles an hour and 35 miles an hour that's pretty fucking close having swallowed the most amount of semen ever officially recorded michel monachan had 1 .7 pints of seamen pumped out of her stomach in los angeles in july of 1991 was it pumped out by her her ass.

[2075] That'd be awesome.

[2076] Dude, 1 .7 pints.

[2077] But maybe if she had like a glass of coconut water, C2O, very delicious, right before.

[2078] And it mixed in with the loads.

[2079] Maybe it might have increased the size of the quantity of fluid in her.

[2080] You know, when she threw up, maybe she was throwing up loads and a sprite.

[2081] You don't know, right?

[2082] Right?

[2083] What, are they going to test it?

[2084] Make sure it's 100 % loads?

[2085] No, they just looked at it.

[2086] And a slice of pizza.

[2087] You wouldn't know the difference.

[2088] Yeah.

[2089] She just came into a big, one of those big glass baking.

[2090] measurement cups she just threw up in it and it was 1 .7 the fuck is this podcast comedy the female gang bang record is owned by a woman named Houston who had intercourse with 620 men I think that's been yeah that's been beat by then this is some 600 guys yeah that's old that's a lot I don't think it really is 600 men though I think what they do is they do is the same guys and they keep rotating them and they consider that different guy each time it's the guy they like they come and they come back that's all bullshit and that's why that's not the real records like who made those records the same people if a guy so if a girl fucks two dudes and they switch off a couple times she can say she fucked 15 guys right this doesn't even have gay it has a male gang bang male gang bang world record goes to porn star John Doe who worked himself over 55 women in one day he had five to six ejaculations hmm pretty good well yeah 50 chicks meanwhile that guy committed suicide that guy blew his fucking brains out I have four ejaculations the other day and within an hour Yeah, but all of them were like little tear drops.

[2091] It's funny.

[2092] Most of them came from your eyes.

[2093] It becomes really thick and clumpy.

[2094] Like it's not hatched yet.

[2095] I'm coming.

[2096] He counts it when he cries.

[2097] I'm coming.

[2098] I'm coming.

[2099] Was this masturbation?

[2100] Or was this?

[2101] Real shot.

[2102] Were you on next to see?

[2103] No. You weren't honest.

[2104] No, I just have a hot girlfriend that makes me have boners all day.

[2105] Are you bragging, bro?

[2106] No, I'm just saying that like literally.

[2107] I can have sex nonstop.

[2108] all day.

[2109] Did you hear bragging in the air?

[2110] What's that smell?

[2111] That's incredible.

[2112] It's great.

[2113] Do you believe him?

[2114] That's hard to believe.

[2115] I don't know anybody like that.

[2116] It's right again.

[2117] It's possible.

[2118] It's all possible, dude.

[2119] If you were like some super alpha, Quentin Jackson looking motherfucker, I might buy it.

[2120] I might believe it.

[2121] But maybe all your testosterone is just stored up in your balls and your body doesn't use any of it for muscle development or, you know, behavior or any of that shit.

[2122] It's all just in your balls ready to shoot.

[2123] Seriously, two minutes.

[2124] It's like a minute after I come If I look at this Boner comes right back Just put your fucking pictures of your girlfriend away You're making me sad Seriously, it never goes away I just have like my For the first time in my life My boner never goes down I just can You know why he's saying this Because he knows his ex -girlfriend listens to the podcast It's not why I swear to God it's not why We couldn't do that to Taylor Where's Joey Diaz right now You couldn't do that to Taylor?

[2125] Was Delivixin All day?

[2126] Oh God No No It's a different thing right Brian It's different love this time you never find do do do do whoa what the fuck are you doing man tech guy oh so hot in your room that's pretty impressive man yeah well I just thought it was weird because I never thought it was possible in my life like I've always wondered how like guys and porn do it and stuff like that she's sneaking some Viagra in your drinks it might be because like I've already said that I think she's like do you think she's sneaking it in now maybe she got tired of you like remember you say you would fall asleep because you were too tired you'd go down on her and then fall asleep because you were too tired to do anything you'd do her and then you'd fall asleep you talked about on the podcast Yes you did My current girlfriend Yes you did You said She was horny And you were too tired To have sex with her So you would go down No that was one time That was one time One time Maybe that time She's like I'm tired of this shit I want to get fucked And so she started Crumpling up Viagra And I'm gonna cook for you Tonight honey She made you a nice Viagra meatloaf In like 2001 I got Third Row tickets to The Cure.

[2127] I was so jazzed.

[2128] I was, remember born again, that stripper?

[2129] Sure.

[2130] He was a long time.

[2131] He was a state of a stripper that was a born again, so he'd call her born again.

[2132] Yeah, that was her nickname, born again.

[2133] That's hilarious.

[2134] So anyways, she was only stripping just to pay for school, but she was like hardcore Christian.

[2135] It was ridiculous.

[2136] It was ridiculous.

[2137] But we were going to the cure.

[2138] So I'm like, I need some ecstasy for this concert.

[2139] So I meet up with my buddy in the afternoon to get some ecstasy.

[2140] And I always have vitamin bottles with me and I put them in my vitamin bottles and I go when I eat I'm going to take them out of the vitamin bottle and you know eat and take my vitamins it's one o 'clock I go to El Pollo we're sitting we're going to leave around seven I eat my chicken sitting there watching TV and I just got really horny I just looked at I'm like I'm a fucking beast fuck this chick so I threw her in the bed I'm fucking the shit out of her and I'm like god damn it feels like I'm on ecstasy and I go oh my god I jumped off the bed went open up my vitamin bottles like fuck are you fucking serious I took hers too I forgot to pull them out of my vitamins I didn't know I was on ecstasy until right in the middle of sex that's a it was incredible sex I'm like it's like I'm on an e man this is you that's funny I flew off I thought that E is supposed to kill your boner.

[2141] Didn't you say that you would take Viagra and E together?

[2142] Because you would call it fuck to see.

[2143] After a while.

[2144] After a while it kills your boner.

[2145] But not in the beginning.

[2146] In the beginning, you get really, really horny.

[2147] But if you want to go...

[2148] E?

[2149] Because when you're on E, yeah.

[2150] Well, people are different.

[2151] No, no, people are different.

[2152] Like, for me, if, you know, back in the days when every now and then I'd pop an E pill, I would get a boner really quick.

[2153] How many times have you done E in your life?

[2154] How many times?

[2155] Man, back when I was younger, I probably did E. Maybe 40 times.

[2156] Whoa.

[2157] Is that a lot?

[2158] That explains a lot, dude.

[2159] That explains a lot.

[2160] What I mean?

[2161] It explains a lot.

[2162] It was when I was younger.

[2163] This motherfucker is taking shit.

[2164] He doesn't even know what it is.

[2165] He's taking bath salts.

[2166] Yeah.

[2167] You got to get your shit from reputable sources.

[2168] You need to find some friendly person that works at a club somewhere.

[2169] But ecstasy's bad, okay?

[2170] I don't.

[2171] It kills you.

[2172] your brain it for sure does that.

[2173] Pure ecstasy is not bad.

[2174] The MDMA.

[2175] The problem is that you don't know what you're taking.

[2176] Yeah, bath salt boy.

[2177] Shit.

[2178] Exactly.

[2179] That stuff's supposed to be really...

[2180] Have you seen this this crocodile shit?

[2181] The shit that they're taking the Soviet Union, they're shooting it up and it's making your skin rot away.

[2182] There's all these photos of people with their bones hanging off.

[2183] Literally your bones exposed from wherever they shot it up, like their flesh has deteriorated to point where their bones are exposed.

[2184] It's crazy to look at, man. It's gross.

[2185] What a weird.

[2186] world we live in man people will take some drug that'll make your your skin literally rot off your body people take some shit that they think is ecstasy and it turns out to be some weird fucking amphetamine that somebody made in the lab you know who knows what the fuck is going to do to you and it's not the end they're going to keep coming up with more and more of these things kill off the dummies yeah these bath salt that's you bro you took that shit right is it does that scary you when you think of that that you could have taken something really nutty yeah when you buy stuff like that if you buy like ecstasy doesn't that scary you you like you never know like you might get it from some some dude that is scary you've heard about this cocaine that's making people's fucking flesh rot have you heard about this shit no there's some cocaine there's bad cocaine that's in california it's in new york and it's uh treated with some livestock dewormer that's what they cut it with and you know let me look it up right now because it's fucking crazy and people should probably hear of yeah yeah yeah it's um cocaine bad cocaine in los angeles in new york city tainted with a some sort of uh here it is a livestock dewormer yeah it's really fucked up what happens to you when you do it they're getting they're getting really bad noses ears and cheeks develop ugly purple swatches of dead skin this is like it's it's called lavamisol that's the stuff and the dealers are cutting it with this shit and they say like 90 % of the cocaine in New York and California is contaminated with this this shit 90 % yeah of the cocaine in California excuse me 70 % the US Department of Justice is reporting this.

[2187] Okay, by the way, this is just the U .S. Department of Justice.

[2188] They might just be saying this to cut out the cocaine business.

[2189] They're saying up to 70 % of the cocaine in the U .S. is contaminated with this lavamos, which is cheap and widely available and commonly used for deworming livestock.

[2190] Whoa.

[2191] What the fuck, man?

[2192] What are they doing?

[2193] You would think that that would be something that someone who hates cocaine users would do.

[2194] You would think that that would be someone who actually wants to stop people from using cocaine would, you know, they would like mix it in there so that people would stop coming back.

[2195] You know what I'm saying?

[2196] Like, why would you do that if you're trying to sell more cocaine?

[2197] That almost seems like something like the government would do, man. It sounds like the whole story is probably fake and they're just putting it out there to scare you like people on Pirate Bay like, oh, there's a virus in this file.

[2198] No, no, no, maybe, but it's on LA Weekly.

[2199] It seems like they would do their due diligence, don't you think?

[2200] Yeah, LA Weekly definitely.

[2201] Don't you think?

[2202] Yeah.

[2203] You fell asleep on You're thinking about your girlfriend's ass right now.

[2204] I'm just thinking about your girlfriend's ass right now.

[2205] I said Ellie Wigley, yeah, definitely.

[2206] What do you think, Eddie?

[2207] Do you think that they would do this?

[2208] Who the fuck would do this?

[2209] Do you think this is the government?

[2210] Who knows?

[2211] Do you see the UFO videos over London?

[2212] Do you believe in those?

[2213] Did you see that?

[2214] I saw, what does that look like to you?

[2215] I just, there's so many videos like that.

[2216] It looks like CGI to me. It's too convenient.

[2217] The whole, the way it's set up is too convenient.

[2218] There's a bunch of people staying there looking up and everybody's looking up and they're catching these things that they fly in and out of the clouds.

[2219] I've seen it, but you know what really makes me think that it's, it's, uh, too convenient.

[2220] The guy, film looks up, films some of the UFOs, and then looks down at all these people watching, which is the fucking last thing that you would do if you actually thought you saw real UFOs flying through the air.

[2221] You would keep the fucking camera on them.

[2222] You wouldn't want to turn it and point it down at all these people watching.

[2223] Maybe, maybe you don't know what the hell it is.

[2224] Like, look, everyone's tripping out, you know.

[2225] Yeah, but he had, he showed that before.

[2226] He showed everybody looking up at this guy and then he catches this.

[2227] Yeah, I think it's, I think it's fake.

[2228] People.

[2229] People get a kick out of doing shit like that.

[2230] They think it's cute.

[2231] So much fake shit on the Internet now.

[2232] That's one of the fun things about the Internet, trying to figure out what's fake and what's not.

[2233] Brian's the master at that shit.

[2234] He calls fakes.

[2235] He calls fakes better than anybody.

[2236] But sometimes he's off.

[2237] Sometimes it's just sound sink problems.

[2238] And it looks fake.

[2239] Look at this cocaine shit.

[2240] Look what it's doing with these people.

[2241] It's making their skin rot off.

[2242] It's like making that ear turn like blue and black.

[2243] Your skin's fucking falling off.

[2244] That's some cocaine?

[2245] Yep.

[2246] Oh, my.

[2247] My God.

[2248] Yeah.

[2249] Some people have suffered permanent scarring on their body from this shit.

[2250] You know, I got the good shit.

[2251] Make your nose fall off.

[2252] This message brought to you by prescription pills.

[2253] What is that shit?

[2254] What's it called?

[2255] It's called Lavamisol.

[2256] LeVamisol.

[2257] L -E -V -A -M -I -S -O -E.

[2258] LeVam -Sol.

[2259] It's bad for you, kids.

[2260] And on that note, I think this fucking podcast started off real strong.

[2261] And then someone out of the way, we lost a lot of steam.

[2262] We got into gay porn.

[2263] It's always after true.

[2264] hours it was my fault we got to the gay porn and brian started reminiscing about his girlfriend oh you guys brought her out look at her pictures oh um tomorrow somebody i'm not sure somebody will be on the podcast the guy from um ancient aliens is coming on the podcast and he's coming on at the end of july it'll be july 27 and um his name is georgio and this is a tough one to to pronounce T -S -O -U -K -A -L -O -S.

[2265] I think the T is silent.

[2266] Yeah.

[2267] Sucalos.

[2268] Sucalos, maybe?

[2269] Sucalos.

[2270] Giorgio Sucalos.

[2271] And he's the guy from ancient aliens with the crazy hair who's a self -professed wacky alien -loving bastard because that's what I call them.

[2272] He said, yes, guilty is charged.

[2273] He's cool as fuck.

[2274] I like him.

[2275] And I'm excited to have mom because we're going to talk about some weird shit.

[2276] You should probably be in on that one, man. I would love to ask the questions.

[2277] Yeah, you should probably be in on that one.

[2278] That would be a fun conversation.

[2279] That's July 27th?

[2280] Yeah.

[2281] We might have to bring you in on that one.

[2282] We'd have to bring Eddie Bravo in with the alien dude.

[2283] I would be honored.

[2284] Yeah, because no one loves aliens more than you and him.

[2285] You and him together would be a fucking...

[2286] Oh yeah, we fuck people.

[2287] A tsunami of alien love.

[2288] Don't you have like aliens all over your logos in your shirt?

[2289] I love aliens, bro.

[2290] I don't necessarily believe in them.

[2291] I don't have any aliens in my logos.

[2292] Well, my whole logo is an alien.

[2293] And flying saucers and shit.

[2294] Aliens are assholes.

[2295] I'm down.

[2296] I love the idea.

[2297] You have more UFO.

[2298] DVDs and I do.

[2299] Sure.

[2300] You have like 200 of them.

[2301] I've got everything.

[2302] But that's why I don't believe in them.

[2303] I've seen so much stuff, I think, the way I look at it, and this is not that I don't believe in them, because it's not that I don't believe in them.

[2304] I don't not believe.

[2305] I don't believe UFOs don't exist.

[2306] I don't believe that.

[2307] My mind is open about it, but I'm not convinced either way.

[2308] But the way I look at it is like everyone's got a goddamn camera on their phone.

[2309] Everyone does now.

[2310] You would think that if I meet a thousand people, okay, out of every thousand people that I meet, at least 10 of them are fucking morons.

[2311] Extreme morons, right?

[2312] If you meet a thousand, wouldn't you say 10?

[2313] Are just complete idiots, at least.

[2314] Pathological liars, completely fucked up, right?

[2315] A good solid 10, right?

[2316] So I would think that if there's that many people that are idiots and fucked up, and then you look at the number of UFO stories, like, what are the numbers?

[2317] The numbers, like, are similar to what you would expect from a population of retards.

[2318] Yeah, but then you look at the smartest people in the planet.

[2319] You look at the smartest people the opposite end of the spectrum, Warner von Braun and Herman Obert, there were rocket scientists.

[2320] They not only believe in aliens, they're saying, our technology came from messages from beans from other solar systems.

[2321] That's what they're saying.

[2322] Yeah, I would have to talk to them.

[2323] That's what they're saying.

[2324] I believe that.

[2325] You can get a quote, go Warner von Braun, quote, beans from UFO, beans from other worlds.

[2326] His exact quote is, beans from other worlds helped us.

[2327] Yeah, I've seen that.

[2328] I've seen that written, but who knows what that really is what he said?

[2329] You know, it's so hard when a dude's dead and he died in 1977.

[2330] You know, who the fuck knows what he actually said, you know?

[2331] Well, you know, he's quoted as saying it, so.

[2332] Maybe.

[2333] Yeah, maybe, but.

[2334] Yeah.

[2335] Two different guys?

[2336] No, I think, look, it is entirely possible.

[2337] If it's proven that the quote was actually legit, like, yes, here's the video of him actually saying it, then what happens at that point?

[2338] That's pretty.

[2339] yeah yeah maybe or maybe he's a troll maybe Wernher von Braun is a big Nazi troll I mean the thing about Wernher von Braun is he was the head of Nazi of NASA rather but he was a confirmed Nazi and then the Simon Wiesenthal Center said if that guy was alive today they would prosecute him for crimes against humanity so who the fuck knows he could have been trolling but I don't I don't believe that it's impossible it's definitely possible so I'm looking forward to having this Georgio dude on it should be a fascinating conversation I want to find out how his brain works, man, you know, because he says a lot of crazy stuff.

[2340] I want to know.

[2341] Yeah, he seems like I almost like it could be a character.

[2342] Maybe a little bit, maybe, maybe it's fun.

[2343] You know, maybe some of it's sexy.

[2344] I mean, he runs, sexy.

[2345] Yeah, it's sexy.

[2346] It's sexy to believe in Bigfoot, you know?

[2347] It's sexy to believe in aliens.

[2348] It's sexy to believe in all that shit.

[2349] It's interesting.

[2350] Who the fuck knows?

[2351] But that's coming up.

[2352] I don't know who's going to be on tomorrow, but we'll get somebody.

[2353] And then maybe Thursday is going to be my friend, Jan Irvin, you know, Jan, the dude who wrote all the books on, on mushrooms and religion.

[2354] The problem is he's got the flu, and I don't want the fucking flu.

[2355] Yeah, let's give him a couple weeks.

[2356] Yeah, I might have to do it.

[2357] He's the guy that turned you on to Terrence McKenna.

[2358] Yeah, he turned me on a lot of things.

[2359] He's a fascinating cat.

[2360] He's a real, real odd duck, and he's written two books now on psychedelics and religion.

[2361] And he was with us when we first did DMT.

[2362] He was with us when you had that crazy bad trip.

[2363] The first one was horrible.

[2364] Yeah, it was pretty bad.

[2365] Screaming a gallon.

[2366] Screaming.

[2367] Throwing up?

[2368] Eddie fucked up and he ate food right before he went on his trip, which you're never supposed to do.

[2369] You're not supposed to have anything in your stomach when you go on the trip because your body kind of freaks out.

[2370] So he, in the middle of this trip, gets up, and I have to help him get to the sink, and you threw up in the sink.

[2371] You hurled in the sink.

[2372] Didn't I throw up all over the floor?

[2373] No, no, no. No, you made it to the sink.

[2374] You don't even remember the story that could, right?

[2375] I don't remember where I threw up.

[2376] I just don't remember exactly.

[2377] I thought it was Edie Bergale the whole time, too.

[2378] I was like, wow, Joe's hanging out with Edie Bergale because whoever wrote this whole story on your message board didn't put Eddie Brava Right, that was Yon Yeah Yon changed the names of everything Yeah and I thought it was Edie Bergen Did Yon change it was Johnny Rotten?

[2379] I think it was Johnny Rotten maybe It was either Yon or Johnny Rotten changed the names I threw up in the sink in your little bar Yeah yeah yeah yeah that's where you threw up Yeah you heard And then I looked up at you and I remember Because I was screaming and I was screaming And I looked up at you and I'm like I'm all right don't worry about me And then like that was like me letting you know Just let me fucking throw up Let me scream I'm gonna be fine Well, the thing about bad trips is the real bad trips happen when you're trying to control the experience.

[2380] Yeah.

[2381] Like, the whole idea is to just let go and let this journey happen.

[2382] And you got to trust in the psychedelic, but you were fighting it, tooth and claw.

[2383] Yeah.

[2384] And it was ugly.

[2385] That first time was a disaster.

[2386] Chazam.

[2387] This Friday night, July 1st, we will all be in Las Vegas.

[2388] Brian included.

[2389] So if you want to hug Brian, come on down.

[2390] We met this dude who had a fucking Death Squad tattoo.

[2391] Your little logo.

[2392] This guy had a tattoo.

[2393] There's four people now with it.

[2394] That's crazy.

[2395] And there's a few that have the higher Primate tattoos too.

[2396] And there's a bunch of, how am I having 10th planet tattoos are there now?

[2397] There's a bunch, man. That's not.

[2398] We're causing people to get ink on their skin.

[2399] No, we're not.

[2400] The Bet Squad tattoo's awesome, man. Making it prettier.

[2401] This Friday night, we will all be at Mandelaide Bay.

[2402] It's going to be Joey Diaz, Ari Shafir, me. Doug Benson's going to stop by.

[2403] He's going to do a guest set.

[2404] And Brian, if we get him drunk enough, we might push him in front of the microphone.

[2405] I'm going to push you on at the end.

[2406] The very end, you're going to come out and talk to the crowd, do some Q &A, some Q &A when you're on acid.

[2407] So that's this Friday night.

[2408] And then next weekend, we are in Irvine at the Irvine Improv, and that should be fun as fuck.

[2409] That is, yeah, Irvine is great.

[2410] That is, the Irvine weekend is the 7th, 8th, or the 8th, 9th, and 10th of July.

[2411] So that's it, bitches.

[2412] Thanks for tuning in, everybody, and we will see you all tomorrow.

[2413] Thank you.

[2414] fleshlight.

[2415] Yeah, yeah, sure.

[2416] If you go to joe rogan .net, click on the link for the flashlight.

[2417] Answering the code name, Rogan, you get 15 % off the number one sex toy for man. Go ahead, fella.

[2418] Shoot some loads in it, knowing that you have saved a couple dollars.

[2419] I got a seminar in El Paso, Texas, July 23rd, I think.

[2420] That shit's right close to the border, right?

[2421] And next week is the 10th Planet Cruise.

[2422] I don't know if it's too late, but we're going on a cruise, man. What is this?

[2423] Pacific Ocean.

[2424] Next Saturday, next Monday to Friday.

[2425] Holy shit Where do you start?

[2426] Where does it start?

[2427] I think Ella I don't know too much about it Because who's organized it Donna and Amy From Legends They put it all together So we got 70 guys going 70 guys What are the chance To doze are gonna butt fuck each other Yeah A lot of people are bringing their wives Actually a lot of people Are gonna Well that cuts down a little Still 50 guys So that's next Monday You could I'm not sure again If it's too late or not But if you go to 10th planetjjj .com On the forum There's information up there and also 10th planetcruise .com.

[2428] Dude, that sounds fucking awesome.

[2429] That's going to be fun, man. You scared that anybody might freak out that someone taps somebody and then they just throw them overboard?

[2430] Can you imagine being on that cruise with, like, your wife?

[2431] Like, hey, happy anniversary.

[2432] Oh, what the fuck is going on you?

[2433] 70 train killers.

[2434] I'm going to teach a seminar.

[2435] Danny's going to teach seminars.

[2436] On the boat.

[2437] On the boat.

[2438] God, damn.

[2439] We're going to have seminars on the boat.

[2440] It's like the Gracie thing.

[2441] We didn't invent this.

[2442] The Gracies do a Gracie cruise?

[2443] Yep.

[2444] They have a Gracie cruise.

[2445] Wow.

[2446] We need to do a Desquod Cruise.

[2447] How cool that been.

[2448] Yeah, I don't want to go on a boat and be stuck, be scared.

[2449] And what if there's some weirdos on the boat, they know where your cabin is and knocking on?

[2450] Eddie, you know, I want to work for the VIP suite.

[2451] Oh, VIP suite.

[2452] All right, folks, thank you, Mr. Bravo.

[2453] Follow Eddie on Twitter.

[2454] Eddie Bravo on Twitter, E -D -D -D -I -E, Bravo, just how it's spelled.

[2455] You know how it works.

[2456] Brian is Red Band, and you can also subscribe to the Death Squad series of podcast that Brian hosts on iTunes.

[2457] It's called Death Squad.

[2458] It's Sam Tripoli's podcast, Tom Seguer's podcast, Ari Sheffir's podcast, and a bunch of other different ones every now and then they're throwing in new ones into the mix, but they're very entertaining and fun, especially if you're into liquid ass and people sticking fingers and other people's fleshlights.

[2459] Thank you, everybody.

[2460] See you tomorrow.

[2461] Hala.