Jessica Biel

[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert.

[1] I'm Monica Padman, and I'm joined by Mr. Sir.

[2] Max Shepherd.

[3] Really good job.

[4] Identical.

[5] Dad Shepherd.

[6] Doug Shepherd.

[7] I'm Dag Shepherd.

[8] No, no, no. That sounds bad.

[9] What does it sound like?

[10] It just sounds dumb.

[11] Okay, yeah.

[12] And you're not dumb.

[13] It's not a good representation of you.

[14] Well, you know who else isn't dumb?

[15] Who?

[16] Jessica Beale.

[17] That's right.

[18] That's right.

[19] That's right.

[20] Jessica Beal is an actress and a producer.

[21] You know her from Seventh Heaven, the illusionist, the sinner.

[22] I love the center.

[23] Me too.

[24] She has a thriving production company, and they produce The Center and Lyingtown and now Cruel Summer, which people are bonkers over.

[25] Anna's nuts for Cruel Summer.

[26] Let me tell you about The Sinner.

[27] I watched eight episodes in a night.

[28] Remember I got like, I just like started it.

[29] Oh my God.

[30] That is a good show.

[31] It is a damn good show.

[32] Anyway, but Cruel Summer also people are in love with.

[33] Yeah.

[34] Anna in particular.

[35] She's a big, big fan of this.

[36] Now, what is Cruel Summer?

[37] Well, I'm going to tell you, the finale is on June 15th, and it is a chilling story of one girl, Kate, who goes missing.

[38] And another girl, Jeanette, who mysteriously takes over her life.

[39] Count me intrigued.

[40] Me too.

[41] Wait, we have some housekeeping.

[42] Two big things.

[43] One, big reminder.

[44] We're moving to Spotify July 1st.

[45] Get that app on your phone, guys.

[46] Listen to it for free.

[47] Free, free, free.

[48] Exactly how you've always been listening to it and enjoy.

[49] Same show, same show.

[50] Now, we have a really big announcement.

[51] Yeah, especially if you're single and horny.

[52] We are announcing right now, Monica and Jess Season 2.

[53] Yeah.

[54] Now, this season is going to take a little bit of a departure from the first season.

[55] We're going to take what we learned about ourselves, and we're going to put it into more application.

[56] Format into action.

[57] Putting that thing into action.

[58] And Jess doesn't want me to use this, but I have to because it's the best way to be analogous.

[59] It's going to be a bachelor -esque type season.

[60] Oh, wow.

[61] What could be more thrilling?

[62] We have an application up on the website.

[63] So many dates.

[64] Who wants to date Monica?

[65] Who wants to date Jess?

[66] The things should say who doesn't want to date Monica, who doesn't want to date Jess.

[67] And there's just a little quick application.

[68] and you apply, and we're going to go down a little journey with some of these people.

[69] Are you going to have one of those sex rooms where you sleep with, like, the top four people in one weekend?

[70] Oh, fantasy suites?

[71] We don't know.

[72] We haven't decided.

[73] We just don't know.

[74] My guess is Jess, Mike.

[75] Well, if I had to get, if I was just a betting man who would be in the fantasy suite.

[76] It would be Jess.

[77] Yeah, running through the top five.

[78] But listen, it's not going to follow any of the structure of the Bachelor.

[79] We're not, like, getting married.

[80] at the end of this.

[81] There's no ring.

[82] That's too early to say.

[83] All right.

[84] There's no expectation other than really immersing ourselves in the Los Angeles dating world and really like doing it.

[85] Immersion therapy.

[86] That's right.

[87] Wow.

[88] I can't wait.

[89] So you can go to armchair expert pod .com if you want to apply to be Jess or Monica's lovers.

[90] No, date us.

[91] Okay.

[92] Because we're doing this for real, this is.

[93] Specific to Los Angeles applicants.

[94] And way too much fucking pressure if you're like, well, no, I'll fly in there for a date.

[95] No, no, no, no, no. That's too much pressure.

[96] Yeah, well, I was thinking about moving there anyways next year.

[97] No, no, no, no, no. You got to live here.

[98] You got to live here to get state tuition, okay?

[99] And you got to live here to date Monica and Jess.

[100] That's right.

[101] Right.

[102] Okay.

[103] So check it out.

[104] Check it out.

[105] And please don't apply if you're in a relationship.

[106] I'd prefer that.

[107] Hmm.

[108] What if they're on their way out of them?

[109] No. Oh, okay.

[110] Please enjoy Jessica Beale.

[111] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now.

[112] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

[113] Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[114] Okay, so what's happening?

[115] I'm spending a lot of time at home on Zoom.

[116] Zooms in my apartment, hanging with my baby, changing diapers, doing nap time.

[117] Wait, hold on.

[118] How young of a baby do you have?

[119] He's almost 11 months.

[120] Get the fuck out.

[121] I thought for some reason your children's were a little more grown like ours.

[122] So you have an 11 -month -old?

[123] I have a 6 -year -old and an 11 -month -old.

[124] I had like a secret COVID baby.

[125] Wow.

[126] Oh my God.

[127] Congratulations.

[128] It wasn't like a supposed to be a secret.

[129] It was just COVID happened.

[130] And then I went to Montana with my family and never left.

[131] Uh -huh.

[132] Right, because normally you've gone out somewhere in public and someone would have noticed that you had a passenger.

[133] Exactly.

[134] And it just never happened.

[135] It was the weirdest thing ever.

[136] And so you're kind of living out my greatest fear because I love our children.

[137] I fucking love them.

[138] And I love the entire experience of raising them.

[139] Yet, the notion of having a newborn right now is the most terrifying thing I can imagine.

[140] I forgot.

[141] You forget everything, right?

[142] What happens to you as a person, as a human, with your partner, with your sleep schedule, I forgot.

[143] Yeah.

[144] And I'm happy we're 11 months in because it was serious.

[145] You forget on purpose.

[146] Yeah, chemically, I'm sure.

[147] Yeah, because our second kid came only two months after the first one or 20 months.

[148] And even in 20 months, she arrived and I was like, wait, what are the five?

[149] assuings shushing swatting what shit i knew that inside now when do we feed this thing yeah i was shocked at how little i retained from the first go round yes us too and this was such a big change because it had been six years six years since we did all that stuff and it's easy with one we used to take lincoln everywhere it didn't matter where we were at we took her it was no whoop filming whatever But two, that's a whole different scenario.

[150] It is.

[151] Someone said to me, two, is like having a thousand.

[152] And that's exactly what it feels like.

[153] The balance of everything is very different and super hard.

[154] But I agree.

[155] I mean, it's amazing.

[156] It's so interesting.

[157] It's so funny.

[158] The conversations I'm having now with my six -year -old is so cool.

[159] Like, he's a real person.

[160] Yeah.

[161] Saying the funniest stuff and he's so sensitive.

[162] tender.

[163] It's just so interesting to see that part of it happen.

[164] And the little one is just cute as hell.

[165] I'm having medieval fantasies right now that we should join, because I have a six -year -old daughter.

[166] Assuming that both are straight, which we shouldn't assume, but if they are both straight, it is revealed that they're both straight, we could join empires.

[167] Have you thought of this?

[168] I'm into it.

[169] Okay.

[170] An arranged marriage.

[171] I like it.

[172] I think it's cool.

[173] Let's go for it.

[174] I like the empire joining like the land takeover yeah let's go let's go because you guys are in the hollywood hills maybe as i recall but and we're over on the east side so somehow if we could stitch this together we could have a prominent province i think it can be done okay good i'm glad you're interested arranged marriages have a pretty high rate of working out i think the highest they say so you must have had your baby what like month four of quarantine i had him in the summer.

[175] So yeah, like halfway through or I guess whatever.

[176] And what was the hospital experience like?

[177] Like how many people were allowed to be there?

[178] Just you and Justin?

[179] Yes.

[180] The hospital restrictions had just changed.

[181] Uh -huh.

[182] And there was a moment there that there was no buddy allowed at all.

[183] Yeah.

[184] Yeah.

[185] And I was really getting nervous about that situation.

[186] But yes, he was allowed.

[187] I think if I had to be there alone, that would have been horrible.

[188] I would have been really scared.

[189] Yeah.

[190] Yeah, you would have really felt like it was you two against the world.

[191] Like you and just this little vulnerable creature and you're all alone.

[192] It's almost an post -apocalyptic tale.

[193] Handmaidsie.

[194] Handmaidsie.

[195] Yes.

[196] It did start feeling a little handmaidsy for a moment there, right?

[197] Yeah.

[198] Oh, gosh, it was scary.

[199] Handmaid z. I hope that that somehow gets in the vernacular.

[200] Like 40 years people are saying, it's very handmadesy.

[201] But no one knows where it comes from, like all the words we currently use.

[202] Oh, wow.

[203] That'd be fun.

[204] They would.

[205] If it was an adjective or whatever feeling that we just described.

[206] Why did you move around so much as a kid?

[207] Do you have military parents?

[208] Oh, no, no. You have a general electric father employee.

[209] Yes.

[210] So he was working at G. I don't really know why we moved every couple of years.

[211] But then he went into business for himself and sort of started his own consulting business, which is what I believe he was doing with GE.

[212] But he then went into business for himself and then moved my family to Boulder, which is where my parents.

[213] wanted to be.

[214] Okay, but there's a bunch of stops before Boulder, right?

[215] You're born in Minnesota?

[216] Yep.

[217] Born in Minnesota.

[218] Then we went and stayed with my grandparents in Florida for a minute.

[219] Then we moved to Texas where my brother was born.

[220] Then from Texas, where did we go after there?

[221] I don't remember what was in between, like, Texas and Connecticut, but we stopped in Connecticut for a couple of years.

[222] Oh my goodness.

[223] Two places in Connecticut.

[224] Then we went to Colorado.

[225] At what age do you land in Colorado?

[226] Nine, eight or nine?

[227] Holy Jesus.

[228] I feel like once you get to junior high in high school, man, if you don't have a click, you're kind of fucked.

[229] So was it easier?

[230] Do you remember being hard?

[231] You were a new student like every 18 months.

[232] I don't really remember it being hard.

[233] You're so young at that point that like you're not living and dying in your social circle, right?

[234] You're just kind of like, whatever, I'm hanging out at home and I have some friends.

[235] So I think if I had been older, it would have been a lot harder.

[236] You're right about that.

[237] Yeah, as you're saying that I'm remembering, like, you're just not discerning at that age.

[238] Like, I remember I'd go see my brother play his hockey games.

[239] And whenever kid my age was there, we would just sit and chat.

[240] And in particular, I remember one kid, I was sitting on this log watching my brother play field hockey.

[241] And this boy, my age sat down.

[242] And we were just chatting.

[243] And he goes, do you eat your boogers?

[244] And I go, no, do you?

[245] And he goes, yeah, I like him.

[246] And I just remember thinking like, this kid had such honestly, he had no shame about that.

[247] It's seared into my brain like that he said that.

[248] And were you lying to him?

[249] Cavalier.

[250] No, I really, I didn't eat my boogers until Brie taught me to.

[251] Until you were in your 20s?

[252] In fact, I don't know if you would remember this, Jessica, but.

[253] I'm going to fast forward now to my memory of meeting you.

[254] I don't know if you would remember, but there was a period.

[255] I had been on television for about 35 seconds, and I joined a group that was like Ashton and this whole collective of young actors that hung out, and you were among that group.

[256] Was that like an acting class?

[257] No, this was a friendship circle.

[258] Like in 2000, I guess, two or three, I started hanging out in that social thing where people were going to nightclubs and people would hang out at the 70s shows.

[259] and they'd go here and there, and you were in that group.

[260] That's right.

[261] Yeah, I kind of cruised around with some of those guys and gals in that world.

[262] I do remember that we met all those many years ago.

[263] I mean, I don't remember the context necessarily.

[264] Are you about to tell me some really hardcore story?

[265] First of all, you're the most generous lover.

[266] I just want to start there.

[267] I'm so glad.

[268] I'll never forget what a generous lover you are.

[269] So let's just...

[270] Honestly, that's just the way I want to be known.

[271] when I die.

[272] Just generous lover.

[273] On your tombstone.

[274] That's it.

[275] Here lies a generous lover.

[276] That's all.

[277] Okay, there's a bunch of reasons I would remember it better is because I had some awareness of you as being on Seventh Heaven.

[278] And I didn't even know what Seventh Heaven really was.

[279] My understanding of it was there was like a Christian show that had made it on the network television.

[280] Right.

[281] And then I guess, again, this is all like me being super naive.

[282] So then I assumed everyone on the show is probably pretty Christian.

[283] by nature.

[284] And I mean that in a stereotypical way, like not out at a nightclub.

[285] And then I met you and you are real brashy.

[286] Is that a positive adjective?

[287] I want it to be positive.

[288] You were very outgoing and outspoken.

[289] And you are, I'm going to say it, just very overtly sexy too.

[290] And I was like, oh, this Christian gal is, she's like a great dancer and a sexy dancer.

[291] There's a lot of cognitive dissonance when I met you.

[292] And then I brought up my ex -girlfriend, because you guys looked very similar.

[293] Are you?

[294] You.

[295] you five eight how tall are you like five seven and a half yeah okay we'll call it five eight so you're five eight and breeze five eight and you guys had a similar thing and i remember meeting you a couple times and then i remember telling her oh my god you look like this girl and then we all were together at some point and i said look it see you guys look identical of course neither person agreed as is always the case when people think you look like somebody it doesn't matter you wouldn't remember all that but that's all in my memory just so you know wow isn't it weird the stuff we remember from those years going to nightclubs and just being crazy and being young.

[296] It's so funny.

[297] I don't remember specifically having that conversation with you guys and with Brie, but...

[298] Again, she thinks you're a very generous lover as well.

[299] She would label you very generous.

[300] Right back at her.

[301] Right back at her.

[302] I loved Seventh Heaven so...

[303] Oh, tell me about it.

[304] Oh, my God.

[305] It was my show.

[306] Yes.

[307] Tell me. I watched that and Buffy.

[308] I think Buffy came on maybe right after and it was like this lineup and I was obsessed with it and at first my parents told me I couldn't watch it.

[309] Wasn't it the safest TV show for a young mind?

[310] Well, they're not Christian so maybe they thought like you're going to get indoctrinated.

[311] Although it wasn't like the dad was a reverend on the show but it didn't feel like a Christian show to me. It wasn't technically.

[312] Yeah.

[313] We never used that word, that word Christian necessarily.

[314] It was like a religious family who went to church.

[315] Right.

[316] So you could sort of infer whatever you want about what, I mean, obviously we weren't a Jewish family, but we were a family that goes to church on Sundays and our dad was a reverend.

[317] Correct.

[318] So whatever you wanted to take from that.

[319] I wanted to be in that family so bad.

[320] Tell me why, because it was a big, boisterous family.

[321] Yeah, lots of people in it.

[322] All the sisters were cool.

[323] Who was the coolest, Jessica?

[324] Yeah, obviously.

[325] Well, I was the old, I mean, I was the oldest.

[326] No, you have swagger.

[327] You have like a really, and I hope this doesn't sound negative.

[328] You have a masculinity to you that I find very attractive.

[329] Like you have a, yeah, you have, yes, yes.

[330] I mean, who doesn't want to have a little bit of swagger?

[331] Yeah, yeah.

[332] I like that.

[333] Yeah.

[334] Again, I used the word brashy earlier, but it was incomplete.

[335] Okay, so.

[336] And she was a basketball star.

[337] Can you play basketball in real life?

[338] It's not really my best sport, to be honest with you.

[339] I can dribble and shoot.

[340] But yes, I'm much more of a soccer gymnast.

[341] And now I play a lot more racket sports because I'm older.

[342] Oh, sure.

[343] And can't do any of those cool moves anymore like I used to be able to do.

[344] Yeah.

[345] A level six gymnast, is that when I read?

[346] What does that mean?

[347] Yes.

[348] That just means not great.

[349] How many levels are there?

[350] I needed some context.

[351] Is there a thousand or six?

[352] Well, no, it's like you hit level 12, and level 12, if I remember, and look, this may have changed, right?

[353] The gymnastics world may have evolved into a different thing now, but level 12 is like you are like junior Olympics.

[354] You are like college competing.

[355] Level six is just kind of when you can compete level five, I believe, and then level six is like you're doing like round off backhand spring, back tucks, you're doing like back walkovers on the beam, doing stuff like that.

[356] Oh, wow.

[357] So I was just kind of barely testing the waters with the serious gymnastics career.

[358] And then I was like 5 foot 5 and 6.

[359] And they were like, hmm, this isn't going to work.

[360] You're way too tall.

[361] It's a shame you didn't work harder and then arrest your development the way they do.

[362] Stunt your growth.

[363] I know.

[364] It's a real shame you're not 5 foot.

[365] I really didn't dedicate myself properly.

[366] I got my period.

[367] Like, I was a real disaster.

[368] Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. That just won't do getting your period.

[369] We're bouncing all around the place.

[370] I want to go back to 7 -7.

[371] So you loved it, and it was because it was like this big, fun family, and there were sisters, and you thought maybe that would be fun.

[372] Sisters, brothers.

[373] I just wanted to be in that family.

[374] Right.

[375] Again, and I'm ignorant on it, so forgive me. But when I read about it, I guess there was a lot of premarital sex episodes, like the brothers were concerned, and the father was concerned.

[376] I guess in that sense, it was kind of this, that's what made it Christian -y to me. guess.

[377] It doesn't matter.

[378] Cut that out.

[379] It's so funny.

[380] I'm really trying to think, I'm like, were there a lot of premarital sex?

[381] I don't remember that either.

[382] Okay.

[383] Well, you guys would know more than I. You were on the show for 10 years and you watched it.

[384] I was a super fan.

[385] Yeah, and I read three sentences about it today.

[386] You know what it was?

[387] It was a show that was dealing with teenage issues and kids and family issues, but it never really crossed the line into like major, major stuff, right?

[388] It kind of really towed the line.

[389] I mean, there was an episode, I think, where my character may have got caught smoking pot.

[390] Okay.

[391] You know, and that was, like, the furthest, I feel like we ever took it.

[392] And not even, maybe she was just around it and didn't actually try it.

[393] I don't remember.

[394] But I feel like that was probably the furthest we went.

[395] There was probably, like, teen pregnancy that my family was having friends or, like, maybe I had a friend at school.

[396] And so that conversation came up in that way.

[397] But it was really safe show, I'm sure, which is probably once your parents got over the whole Christian part, quote -unquote Christian part.

[398] I don't actually think they knew about that.

[399] They just thought, I think they were more scared of like teen.

[400] Well, that's true.

[401] But also it was like a teen show.

[402] And I was in middle school, I think.

[403] I think they were worried there was going to be like sex and stuff like that.

[404] Teen pregnancy and some dope smoking.

[405] Yeah, exactly.

[406] And they were right.

[407] Jessica, did you have that thing at all that?

[408] Oh my God.

[409] And ding, ding, ding.

[410] You're married to someone that was on the Making Mouse Club.

[411] because we've interviewed a bunch of people that have been on the Mickey Mouse Club and they became artists after that feeling a compulsion to reclaim your adultness, having been on something that was kind of safe in G. Did you, you started that show at 14?

[412] Yes.

[413] Did you ever think like, oh, man, I'm on the show that's so safe.

[414] I'm going to get pigeonholed is this, is a goody, goody or something?

[415] Yes.

[416] I definitely felt that way.

[417] I also just felt eventually you do something so long and you just want to do something else.

[418] And I think it would have been exactly the same If I was on Gossip Girl Yeah, or like what was a great show back Then like my so -called life For some great show If you were on that show For so long You probably want to just do something else So I definitely remember feeling that I had that kind of Okay, okay, I'm ready for something new Even though I love my job And I love my on -screen family And all that stuff Everyone was awesome And the whole experience was actually really amazing Eventually I wanted to do other things too.

[419] Yeah.

[420] Was it a blessing to be able to be in a cast?

[421] Because quite often if you get cast as a kid in something, it's just you and like 11 adults.

[422] Right.

[423] Whereas it must have been like a blessing that you had so many of the cast members were your age or younger.

[424] It was cool.

[425] It really was because we just had people to hang out with.

[426] And Beverly Mitchell, who played Lucy, who was actually older than me. I remember hearing that and being blown away.

[427] Oh, okay.

[428] We were friends, and we are still friends, and we all kind of talk every now and again, but it was really cool.

[429] Did you date any of your siblings?

[430] No. Oh, okay.

[431] Because on parenthood, two of the siblings, they started dating, they're still together.

[432] Lauren and Peter, which is always like, I imagine if that happens on a show, they're trying to keep it out of the press.

[433] Yeah, because it just like, then you feel it when you're watching it.

[434] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[435] Yeah, that is a little grody.

[436] I mean, I definitely remember that Beverly and I both had crushes on Barry, who played our older brother.

[437] Oh, lucky Barry.

[438] But no one never dated anybody.

[439] He was, like, dating, like, real -life women.

[440] We were, like, 14 years old.

[441] Just like, oh, my God.

[442] There was no chance for us.

[443] It was not happening.

[444] Okay, so back to Colorado.

[445] So you land there at nine years old.

[446] And then how do you get cast on that show at 14?

[447] Like, how do you make a claim for yourself in the acting world in Colorado?

[448] So I got connected with a talent agency randomly in Denver.

[449] And they were being a part of that organization called IMTA, which is international modeling and talent association, where kids from all over the country come to L .A. for a week and stay at the Bonaventure Hotel and get all fancy and do monologues and runway stuff and singing and dancing in front of agents and managers and casting agents and everything.

[450] And so we paid to be trained to do that and then go for the week in L .A. And that's when I met a bunch of different people.

[451] And that's how I got connected with Diane Hill Hardin's Young Actors School.

[452] And I got a scholarship to go to that school.

[453] And you were a singer at that point, right?

[454] I was like a musical theater kid.

[455] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[456] I was like doing the Arvada Center Performing Arts in Colorado, like, summer show.

[457] Yeah, but a couple of them I saw were like big, like, not big in that they were hugely popular, but like complicated shows.

[458] What were a couple that you were in?

[459] Let's see.

[460] I don't even remember the ones that I did.

[461] I do.

[462] The Sound of Music and Beauty and the Beast.

[463] I never did Beauty and the Beast.

[464] Oh, I'm going to sue somebody.

[465] Yeah, that's Wikipedia's fault.

[466] Yeah.

[467] I auditioned for Beauty and the Beast in New York, actually, and ended up not doing it.

[468] It just didn't feel like, I didn't want to be Bell.

[469] I wanted to do something else.

[470] Guys, my musical dreams never really came to fruition.

[471] So I just married somebody who had some success in that world.

[472] Also, the foresight to be like, I don't want to be Bell.

[473] Like, every little girl wants to be Bell.

[474] So that's interesting that you were like, I don't want to do that.

[475] Well, you know what I was thinking at the time, which was so funny, because when I did the audition, got the, like, yay, you can have it if you want it.

[476] Yeah.

[477] I thought, well, what am I going to do with this thing?

[478] I have to work within the bell box.

[479] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[480] And I get that.

[481] And that's what it should be.

[482] But I just wasn't really feeling like I could bring anything fresh to it.

[483] Wow.

[484] Yeah.

[485] That makes a lot of sense.

[486] Like, I've been offered a couple movies in the past that were remakes of movies that had been done perfectly.

[487] And I'm like, I don't want anything to do with that.

[488] Like, how can I be?

[489] be better than Chevy Chase and Fletch?

[490] This will be a disaster.

[491] Totally.

[492] Yes.

[493] I feel like everything's being kind of regurgitated so much these days in terms of content.

[494] I think you really have to be careful with exactly that.

[495] What do you feel like you can do in a new fresh way that's better than somebody classic like that?

[496] I don't know.

[497] Yeah.

[498] So were mom and dad both really supportive of this?

[499] Because obviously they got to fly you out to L .A. Like someone's got to be involved with all this.

[500] Was your mom into this?

[501] I think my parents, I'd have to ask them, but I think they're both kind of like, I mean, I guess, if this is what you're interested, and this is where your passion lies.

[502] I mean, I was one of those kids who, you know, put the camera on me and don't ever turn it off, mom.

[503] Don't ever turn it off.

[504] I still have things to show you.

[505] And she's like, okay, I'm turning it.

[506] I'm like, don't turn it off.

[507] Like, it was, she didn't have a choice, but to kind of help to go with this thing.

[508] I think, but I truly think both my parents were like, I never expected this to happen.

[509] And so I think people that were, you know, around us were saying, maybe there's some talent there.

[510] Maybe who knows, go check it out.

[511] And so I think they were like, okay, we'll go check it out.

[512] Yeah, I bet a lot of parents just get into those situations going like, well, this will shut them up.

[513] We'll take them out there.

[514] This will go south.

[515] And then we'll be over this phase.

[516] We'll be back to soccer and level six.

[517] Hopefully, fingers crossed level seven next year, gymnastics.

[518] Right, exactly.

[519] I think my parents were like, oh, my God, what is happening here?

[520] So what happens, like, as a parent now, if I found out, like, my daughters wanted to be agricultural engineers, and at 14, we all had to move to Iowa so they could study corn, that would be tough.

[521] That'd be a tough sell to me. So, like, when you got cast on that show, were they like, oh, this just got real?

[522] Like, we got to be now in L .A. nine months of the year.

[523] Yes.

[524] I mean, I think, to be honest with you, I was a really probably super selfish 14 year old kid and just, I was so excited.

[525] Uh -huh.

[526] Because it was, I was also one of those old school audition processes where I went in a million times.

[527] Then we went in and we had this big testing experience where Aaron's spelling and all the people on the big table.

[528] And you know, you're just kind of walking in as a 13 year old going, oh my God, what has happened?

[529] There's like a hundred adults staring at me. Yeah.

[530] And then you're coming in and all these other kids are in the waiting room and they're putting families together.

[531] Uh -huh.

[532] So we're coming into the rooms with like a little boy, a little girl, another little girl.

[533] And standing there in front of everyone, they're just asking us questions.

[534] And then you go back out.

[535] And then they put you together with another group of kids and they bring you back in.

[536] Yeah.

[537] So it was a long, long, arduous process when it actually was a go.

[538] We were just shocked and so excited.

[539] Oh, yeah.

[540] It was like the biggest thing that ever happened to me in my life.

[541] And then the reality, I think, probably set in for my parents.

[542] I mean, I was laser focused, like I'm doing what I put on this earth here to do.

[543] And you guys better get in life.

[544] Sure, sure, sure.

[545] Did they stay married through this?

[546] My parents did stay married through this.

[547] Oh, good.

[548] We kind of take turns.

[549] So we lived in Oakwood apartments.

[550] That was going to be one of my questions.

[551] Did you live at Oakwood?

[552] I lived at Oakwood.

[553] I certainly did.

[554] My brother was at home.

[555] Then finally, the family all came out.

[556] We lived in Calabasas for a while.

[557] My brother went to high school in Calabasas.

[558] Then they ended up going home back to Colorado.

[559] So it was kind of like a lot of back and forth.

[560] Uh -huh.

[561] But, yeah, I mean, I don't know.

[562] Honestly, the person I always want to ask in these moments is like my poor little brother, like, was that horrible?

[563] I'm so sorry.

[564] Did I just ruin your entire high school experience?

[565] But no, he's a self -sufficient young man with a, he's a business owner.

[566] It worked out for him, right?

[567] No, he's doing okay.

[568] He's doing okay.

[569] But I always do wonder.

[570] It's that poor younger sibling that just sort of gets the shaft in that experience.

[571] Stay tuned for more armchair expert.

[572] If you dare.

[573] What's up, guys?

[574] It's your girl Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season.

[575] And let me tell you, it's too good.

[576] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[577] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[578] And I don't mean just friends, I mean the likes of Amy Poehler, Kell Mitchell, Vivica Fox, the list goes on.

[579] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[580] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast.

[581] We've all been there.

[582] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[583] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing.

[584] But for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symbols, symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery, like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter, whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[585] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[586] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[587] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[588] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[589] Prime members can listen early and add free on Amazon music.

[590] I'm now thinking, like, do you think part of you and Justin's bond comes from the fact that you guys know what it's like to have spent your teenage years working and being away from home and all that?

[591] I mean, that's such a unique experience that's so few people you're going to bump into have.

[592] I think so.

[593] And I think not tangibly at first.

[594] Tangibly at first, when you meet somebody, you're just like...

[595] This motherfucker.

[596] can dance.

[597] Look at this.

[598] Yes.

[599] Ooh, there's a vibe.

[600] He's cute.

[601] He's nice.

[602] I'm into it.

[603] They don't really think about why.

[604] Wow.

[605] We have so many parallel experiences.

[606] It's honestly, it's more like now as we're parents and we're older and still going through all our own shit and all our old traumas and all the good stuff and everything.

[607] That kind of does come up a lot where we just kind of get it.

[608] It's like an unspoken.

[609] I know what that's like.

[610] You know what that's like.

[611] If you start at that age, I would imagine it would be really easy to be a people pleaser.

[612] And I wonder if two people pleasers that understand each other can help police one another's people pleasing and be like, hon, you don't have to do that.

[613] Like, I wonder if there's any co -nurturing to prevent that.

[614] I definitely was a way worse people pleaser.

[615] Uh -huh.

[616] I'm better now.

[617] I'm much more of a me pleaser.

[618] Yeah.

[619] And I want people to be pleased, too.

[620] Honestly, it's something that I, that's like one of my big lessons in this lifetime is not putting everybody else's needs in front of my own, like to a fault and to a detriment of my own well -being.

[621] I also think a lot of that is like sometimes being a woman, I feel like there's a lot of that.

[622] Oh, yeah.

[623] And then being a part of this business when you're quite young.

[624] And what do we do?

[625] We are directed by people and you do it.

[626] Yeah.

[627] Because that's the job.

[628] with a ton of fear that if you don't, there's someone directly next to you that's happy to do it.

[629] So it's like there's a threat.

[630] Do you think having kids is like step one in that?

[631] Because I got to say, I've observed it to my wife.

[632] And even for me personally, like, you start getting into this habit in this practice of going like, oh, no, we can't come to dinner.

[633] We have a fucking toddler.

[634] Boom.

[635] So you start drawing boundaries based on your primary commitment of the child.

[636] And then through that, you become practiced at going like, oh, no, we're not going to make that.

[637] And life will go on.

[638] Yeah, absolutely.

[639] It's like the gateway drug into your own real practice of being able to stand within your own resolve and your own needs and say, yeah, actually, there's no reason that I can't make it.

[640] I just can't make it.

[641] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[642] Right?

[643] You're like, I don't actually have to find a reason to miss that party.

[644] I feel okay enough in myself to just miss the party.

[645] Yeah.

[646] Okay.

[647] Do you know this longest running family drama and history.

[648] Seven, seven, seven?

[649] Yes.

[650] I didn't know that.

[651] A record.

[652] Wow.

[653] A record.

[654] Probably because of me. I kept it on the air.

[655] You were always the tipping point.

[656] Thank you for that.

[657] How do you know Jackie Tone?

[658] Were you childhood friends?

[659] We were childhood friends.

[660] Very good friends.

[661] We talk occasionally now.

[662] We text a little bit.

[663] Now I have to call.

[664] I'm going to have to call it.

[665] I'm going to have to call it.

[666] We're weirdly really intermerced with some of your people.

[667] Like, because you and Laura are really good friends and we're really good friends with Laura.

[668] But you and Jackie, you guys were just young.

[669] young actresses living in L .A.?

[670] I'm trying to think about how we initially met each other, but she ended up living with my family for a while.

[671] Like, she came and stayed with us when she was in L .A. trying to be an actress.

[672] And yeah, we just lived together with my parents in Calabasas.

[673] So it was not like a party situation.

[674] We were like teenagers.

[675] We just were really, really great friends.

[676] And she's just an immense talent.

[677] I mean, that woman has talent.

[678] talent, like, leaking out of her eyeballs.

[679] Yeah.

[680] It's been very fun to watch her be so consistently employed over the last few years.

[681] I'm so happy for her.

[682] Me too.

[683] It's a brutal fucking business, isn't it?

[684] I'm sure like you.

[685] Terrible.

[686] I was in the ground lanes with these people.

[687] So many people more talented than I was for sure.

[688] I mean, some of them drastically more talented than me. And just no punked came along for them.

[689] Right.

[690] Right.

[691] It's like a weird stroke of luck, like lightning in a bottle, like perfect.

[692] timing with some talent and some hard work yeah yeah you just don't know who's going to have that perfect storm i know it's kind of heartbreaking it is it is because i agree with you there's so many people that i grew up with that were crazy talented and i don't know why i know i know it kind of feels i feel sad too when like people ask me not that it happens often but when people ask me for advice i'm like i don't know man do all the work and then sit patiently and just pray that you fucking get that one audition that turns everything you know i don't know what to say i don't know what to say either and i say exactly the same thing i just like keep working on your thing whatever craft which is the thing's kind of a goofy word but yeah whatever it is that is your thing like stay in class go to school for it just put your 10 000 hours in i think once you really put those 10 000 hours in you just got to hope for that luck okay so when you left 7th heaven and then you start doing movies primarily, and then you kind of start catching fire.

[693] I wonder, was there someone you were aiming at?

[694] Was there somebody's career who you wanted, a North Star that you were like, oh, I want to be X, Y, or Z?

[695] I mean, I think being a woman, you're always kind of looking at like Merrill, right?

[696] Like, ooh, that's the career that you just do anything you want and it goes forever and she's the classiest, coolest, or it's like Glenn Close, or even, you know, Julia Roberts at that time.

[697] Sure.

[698] Can I tell you who I would have picked for you, just looking at you, Angelina Jolie, if I were you, would have been like, I think I could maybe pull off Angelina Jolene.

[699] You know, I think my representatives.

[700] That's what they thought.

[701] That was sort of the goal.

[702] I was sort of feeling Glenn close and they were going, let's do Tomb Raider and shoot some guns and wear a tank top.

[703] And by the way, that worked for me for a while.

[704] Yeah.

[705] That totally was like my jam for a while.

[706] And those were cool.

[707] experiences.

[708] And I feel like I look back at my slate and I look at it and I go, I don't know who that is.

[709] Who is that person?

[710] But it was cool.

[711] Doing all the different things in one's career happens for a reason.

[712] So you can't like regret anything.

[713] But there was a lot of times where I was kind of on this Angelina Jolie kind of path.

[714] And it just wasn't creatively fulfilling.

[715] I mean, she's obviously done especially later more recent, like super interesting things.

[716] Yeah, yeah.

[717] And she's amazing.

[718] Let's lament for one second, though, how unfair it is for women, because even me asking you that question and thinking about, okay, well, there's a few options.

[719] So yes, there's the Win 26 Academy Awards route.

[720] How many people do that?

[721] Two, three of them we can name.

[722] And then there's like two female action stars.

[723] Whereas if you're a guy, it's like, but you can be Seth Rogan and now that's a thing.

[724] Now some guy could be Seth Rogan.

[725] There's a Krasinski.

[726] If you're a guy, it's just kind of like you're encouraged.

[727] can be anything.

[728] Right.

[729] You're encouraged this to be you.

[730] Yeah.

[731] And then that let that become a thing.

[732] There's so much more latitude for guys to just go like, oh, I'm this.

[733] And now you'll build something around this.

[734] Yeah.

[735] It's true.

[736] It's really true.

[737] I mean, it's obviously getting better.

[738] Oh, yeah.

[739] It's gotten a lot better for women.

[740] Television and streaming networks and platforms with the different opportunities.

[741] But women are still dealing with all the same bullshit.

[742] We're still dealing with like the physicality of being a woman and do you use that?

[743] Do you not use that?

[744] Are you being encouraged?

[745] It's confusing.

[746] It's confusing to try to know how to handle the way that historically women have been categorized and put in these boxes.

[747] And don't you think too, a lot of it is just like whatever thing you have first.

[748] So when we interviewed Natalie Portman, we were kind of contrasting her with like, Britney Spears.

[749] So Britney Spears was like a goody -goody on the Mickey Mouse Club.

[750] So she wanted to reclaim her sexuality.

[751] And she was just the opposite.

[752] So she was overly sexualized as a kid in like the professional.

[753] So she was like, no, no, I want to keep that now personal and I want to reclaim my personal sexuality.

[754] So either people in either starting place maybe has the same trajectory.

[755] It's almost just like whatever thing you had, you kind of covet the other thing or I don't know.

[756] It's very That makes sense.

[757] If you're sort of like launched into one path, there's only so much you can do on that same path.

[758] And that's, I feel like that's probably true for so many businesses.

[759] Yeah.

[760] You don't want to keep doing the same thing over and over and especially being over -sexualized or under -sexualized.

[761] Like, why is there sexualized at all?

[762] Like what the hell is going on here?

[763] Yeah.

[764] Yeah.

[765] It's challenging as every woman knows.

[766] Now there's a bunch of bad.

[767] is involved now, right?

[768] There's you, there's like Reese Witherspoon and her whole camp.

[769] There's just people going like, no, women are going to be leads.

[770] They're going to be leads well into whenever they want to be leads.

[771] And they're going to have interesting stories.

[772] And that's that.

[773] And like breaking the category, taking the categories out of it a little bit more.

[774] I think you guys are breaking down a lot of boundaries, which is awesome.

[775] Well, cool.

[776] Thank you.

[777] I mean, I want to be a part of that movement.

[778] Well, I think of like, the center for you, right, is like, television has ended up being really democratizing somehow.

[779] Like, I think going into studios in the past and asking them to commit $60 million to a feature film with a formula that's new, that they have no track record to say whether it will work or not, that's a big ask, just financially business -wise.

[780] But a TV show where you know, like, you're going to spend $4 million an episode or whatever it is, I'm sure they have big budgets, but relatively still nothing.

[781] So in a weird way, I think people returning to TV, has really helped lift the stories that are getting told.

[782] 100%.

[783] The storytelling and the characters who are allowed to be at the helm of a show, it's so complex now.

[784] You can really tell a niche story, and someone wants to support that and someone wants to buy it.

[785] And I think the other thing is you do a movie, like you're saying, where you don't know how the audience will react.

[786] You don't know what the market will be.

[787] You don't know all of these things.

[788] But you know, if you present a solid first season, then whatever network or whatever streaming platform you're on has a possible second or third or fourth season that they can then count on and bank on, right?

[789] So it's not just like a one -off movie thing if your season does well or if somebody cares about your character or somebody watches your show, then that network or that platform can know that they have something that they can continue on, which they can trust.

[790] because really and yes it's about creative for i think for a lot of those companies but it's about financials yeah i mean they're a business one must remind themselves that they are a an endeavor that is supposed to create profit right that's hard to swallow sometimes but at the end of the day yet i don't think there's a 401c studio or whatever the hell 401 right 401 k now what are you trying to what is it oh 401c3 oh a philanthropic yeah philanthropic yeah Charity.

[791] They're 401Cs or 302 .9s.

[792] You don't know anything about charity, unfortunately.

[793] I would have got so much charity credit if I had gotten that right.

[794] Maybe I got it right.

[795] We just didn't know.

[796] We'll find out in the fact check.

[797] Okay.

[798] Now, I ask this as someone who's married to someone that's more famous than myself.

[799] So if I go somewhere with my wife, in general, however many people are there, they're much more excited to see my wife than they are to see me. Right.

[800] And there's been a 14 -year arc of that for me. Sometimes I was like, oh, man, yeah, they all think she is way cooler and more interesting than me. There's been other times where I'm like, oh, thank fucking God, they're more interest than talking to her.

[801] And I have a little bit of anonymity, I guess, because there's a shinier light than me. But I just wonder, it is a unique experience to be married to a superstar.

[802] It certainly is.

[803] I think I went into this.

[804] It was a very clear differentiation of stardom.

[805] Sure, just like worldwide name recognition.

[806] Global, not trying to compete with that at all.

[807] Yeah, yeah.

[808] Never have, not worried about it.

[809] So I think my experience is a little different than yours because we were on really different paths and levels.

[810] I mean, I don't want to say levels, but on some level.

[811] Yeah.

[812] So often it's more for me like, thank God, because I can just sort of hang out back here.

[813] And that's a lot of energy and activity over there.

[814] And I can see him.

[815] He's like, wants to be over here with me. Yeah, sure, sure.

[816] And just hanging out and chilling or whatever.

[817] But it's quite an interesting experience nonetheless.

[818] Yeah, yeah.

[819] I mean, again, it's just a very unique.

[820] It's not like you're going to call your mom be like, you know, you'd be at the arena and dad would be performing.

[821] And, you know, who are you going to ask for, like, guidance in that situation?

[822] Nobody.

[823] Right, right.

[824] I mean, sometimes it feels, and I know Justin feels this way too, like we both sort of feel isolated in the experience because, like, who do you call to say, hey, how do you take kids on tour?

[825] Yeah.

[826] Like, sometimes I'll ask them, like, who of your colleague should I talk to?

[827] Yeah.

[828] Whose wife should I speak to about what do I do with now two kids on an arena tour?

[829] Yeah.

[830] will come up in the future at some point.

[831] Will you join a lot of the tour in general?

[832] Yeah.

[833] Depending on what it looks like and where in the world it is.

[834] Yeah.

[835] A lot of the conversations that we have is, it's such a unique experience like you're pointing out.

[836] And we want these little boys to see Daddy on stage.

[837] He's not going to do it like this forever.

[838] Yeah, yeah.

[839] And I mean, I'm just speaking for him and I may be way off, but I think there's something about.

[840] out like, I went after my dream.

[841] I'm working really hard.

[842] See this whole thing?

[843] Like Silas, for example, he's obviously the only one that's old enough to have been on a previous tour.

[844] But he would come for rehearsal and we would say hello to the band and Justin would carry him and he would do a sound check as they walked down the stage and he knew all the dancers and then he would see the arena without any people and we would talk to him about daddy plays music not just for us, but this whole arena is going to get filled up with people.

[845] Right?

[846] So he would see the arena empty and then he would see the arena full.

[847] And so I don't know how he's processing that or what that means to him necessarily or if he's just like his mind's being blown and I'm just I'm traumatizing him and he's going to be yelling at his therapist later in life because of this.

[848] I don't know.

[849] There were nobody in there and then there was everyone in there.

[850] How does that happen?

[851] it was like gremlins they added water to them and just there were millions multiplied well it seems cool though that that that he would be privy to the work that goes into it so like seeing rehearsal and sound check and all the business of it like I don't just walk out on stage and I'm this product there's like all this work that goes into it and then also ultimately I think it's good to recognize like daddy's one of those people but he's just a fucking normal person and he takes a shit every morning and I'm not allowed in there Like, what you hope is that it kind of de -emphasizes how important that is, just because nobody's really a king or a queen living without trouble.

[852] And so hopefully you're a conduit to recognize that.

[853] Certainly.

[854] And I think the other thing I was going to say about going on tour is we just like to be together, right?

[855] The family unit together is really supportive for the boys, and it's really nurturing for me, and it's really nurturing for him.

[856] And we get to do all that regular stuff, like what you're mentioning before all the big crazy work nighttime stuff goes on.

[857] We get to do breakfast together and then go to the park if it's possible or hang out in a hotel room because you could be at any place in the world, you never know, and do a nap time together.

[858] So if we can be together, Justin can be a part of those normal things.

[859] And then it's just another aspect of daddy's life.

[860] Yeah.

[861] I took Lincoln to one of our live shows and I thought, oh, I'd like her to see us do this.

[862] And I think she lasted like 30 seconds.

[863] I think right before I introduced Monica on stage, she was like off doing something else.

[864] I was like, that's good.

[865] She should not be interested in me or what I do.

[866] Agreed, right?

[867] Like you want just a little bit of interest.

[868] On tour, we had like a room for him.

[869] Right, right.

[870] It was called PJ Masks headquarters.

[871] Of course.

[872] Obviously.

[873] And we'd let him nap really late like four to seven or if he could or four to six or whatever we could get like a super late nap.

[874] And then he would he would come to the arena.

[875] We'd have dinner with daddy.

[876] He'd play in the headquarters.

[877] Daddy would go on stage at 901 and we'd take him up to the soundboard and he'd watch like 20 or 30 minutes of the show until he was so like lasered out of his head with so much noise and people and like he would just he would be so overstimulated we'd take him back to headquarters we would calm down 20 minutes in headquarters and then we'd take him home oh my gosh that's great oh my god that's so funny i have one more salacious question my salacious question is just simply i know you get to hang out with j z and i'm just obsessed with j z so i don't know i don't know It's not a question.

[878] It's not a question.

[879] I just want to tell you how much I love him and I'm a little envious that you get to hang out with him.

[880] It would make you feel better.

[881] I don't really get to hang out that often with him.

[882] I've hung out with Jay a couple of times.

[883] And I have to say, one of the coolest moments when I was hanging out with Jay was when Justin and Jay were doing that summer tour.

[884] Yes.

[885] That cool legends of the summer tour so many years ago.

[886] And what was super cool was Beyonce was there.

[887] Yeah.

[888] I was like.

[889] Yeah.

[890] B?

[891] Yeah.

[892] B?

[893] What's that?

[894] You know, like, it was cool to sort of be hanging with her while they were rehearsing.

[895] Mm -hmm.

[896] And she and I one day were just, like, sitting in the seats and kind of talking and sharing a glass of wine.

[897] And that was really cool.

[898] But then right before he went on stage one day, my friend Sophie and I were hanging backstage.

[899] And he had a chain, like a gold chain this thick, like a white gold, huge.

[900] diamond and crested chain, and he let us wear it.

[901] Oh, is it so heavy?

[902] Oh, my gosh, my neck.

[903] Oh, oh, chiropractor.

[904] I mean, it was so cool.

[905] He sort of like put it on my neck and I put it on Sophie's neck and then I put it back on.

[906] And it was exciting.

[907] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[908] Just so everyone knows when she made her fingers to demonstrate to us how big it was, I would say it was like the size of like a power bar.

[909] Yeah.

[910] You say that's a good...

[911] Turned on the tall side.

[912] On the tall side.

[913] It was huge.

[914] It was just...

[915] And it was like part of my time of my life where I'd like never seen a piece of jewelry like that before.

[916] Right, right.

[917] He's such a nice guy.

[918] Wow, he's really strong if he can walk around with that on his body.

[919] Oh, he's a big of superhuman strength.

[920] Yeah, for sure.

[921] I got to add him into the category of like, I don't really actually ever want to be around Bill Murray because I worship him so much.

[922] I just think it's best if I'm never.

[923] around him.

[924] And I think Jay -Z is probably that way for me as well.

[925] It's just better to look from afar and worship.

[926] I always think that's better.

[927] But I do have to say my experiences with that person.

[928] He was like super gentleman, elegant guy, super cool, nice person.

[929] I wouldn't trust myself to not be trying to get his approval so much that it would just, it'd be so uncomfortable for him.

[930] You need to stay away.

[931] To protect him.

[932] I don't, yeah.

[933] I don't trust myself around.

[934] know.

[935] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[936] At what point do you decide, like, I'm going all in on producing?

[937] What was it motivated out of?

[938] Do you feel like there were projects that you wanted to see that weren't getting made?

[939] Did you feel like I want to have an unlimited trajectory to my career?

[940] I want to not be so dependent on people calling and going to be in this movie.

[941] Or was it all those things or a combination?

[942] It actually was quite a long time ago.

[943] I just turned 22.

[944] I was working on stealth in Australia.

[945] And Michelle Purple, who's my producing partner now, she was running Rob Cohen's company at the time.

[946] And we were both in Australia, like, away from our families, way from our friends in this big boy action movie, just feeling not creatively supported at all, right?

[947] Just like, what am I doing here?

[948] I'm just like in the gym, power lifting.

[949] I'm like throwing up way too much weight, eating so many power bars.

[950] Like, I didn't know what was happening.

[951] my life.

[952] And I met Michelle and she and I started hanging out surfing in Bondi Beach and watching movies together because we were like one of a few girls on set.

[953] This sounds so fun.

[954] It actually was so fun.

[955] And at that time, she was trying to figure out what she wanted to do with her career.

[956] Was she going to stay with Rob?

[957] Was she going to move on to being an executive somewhere?

[958] And we were just so frustrated with not being able to make movies like she wasn't able to make the movies that she wanted to produce and I wasn't able to be in the movies that I wanted to be in even though I was doing interesting things like stealth or whatever but I wasn't getting those really complicated parts that I wanted to have and we said okay that's it we like the same movies I think this could be fun you're cool let's go for it let's create a company and that was I mean I'm 39 now so that was at 22 that we started this company 17 years ago.

[959] Yeah, a long time.

[960] So for many years, I think, literally, I think people just thought we were like a joke.

[961] You know, they're like, oh, that's really cute.

[962] Well, it's a double whammy.

[963] You're young and you're female.

[964] So it's like...

[965] Yeah, and she's like blonde and, like, voluptuous.

[966] And, you know, we would like, like, totter into these meetings in heels and nice outfits.

[967] And people were just like, wanted to just pat us on the head is kind of what it felt like.

[968] It felt just like a patting.

[969] Like, oh, you guys are cute.

[970] good luck to you.

[971] Because we would walk in there.

[972] We want to make female driven content.

[973] People were like, oh, now obviously that's totally changed and everybody's making female driven content, which is awesome.

[974] I mean, I also want to think like the mandates from the old school networks were just different than the content providers now, which is sort of like, have added.

[975] Give us something crazy.

[976] Like, show me an unreliable female narrator that I'm not sure if I like, but who's this masculine, like, all these things that don't normally go together.

[977] And people are like, that's what I want.

[978] Yeah, yeah.

[979] That's what I want to.

[980] Yeah.

[981] You can get hung up lamenting the departure of movies, which I have at times been like, oh, yeah, there's no movies to be in and no one goes and sees them.

[982] Or you could just focus on the fact that this is like the best and golden age of television and it'll probably never be duplicated, just what is all happening.

[983] How many shows have you gotten on the air?

[984] Sinner.

[985] Tremendous.

[986] We loved it.

[987] Thank you.

[988] It was awesome.

[989] Great experience.

[990] Lime Town, which nobody saw, which is a big bummer, because I thought it was a really cool take of a podcast turning into a show.

[991] And then full summer.

[992] I think that's it.

[993] But I need to tell people how tremendous that is.

[994] I've sold, I think in my career, six television shows in that I went in and pitched it and then I delivered a script.

[995] And I didn't get one of those six to getting a pilot shot.

[996] So the fact that you've gotten three things shot.

[997] on TV is statistically incredibly hard to do.

[998] It's very impressive.

[999] Thank you.

[1000] But you're right.

[1001] It is really crazy hard.

[1002] So, I mean, also what I would add to that is the amount of other shows that we went around and pitched, I probably can't even remember the amount of different ideas that we actually went around town pitching and never got anywhere.

[1003] Yeah, right.

[1004] So the finale of Cruel Summer is upon us.

[1005] Yes.

[1006] How busy does that show keep you?

[1007] Well, now that we're this far down the line, we are locked cuts on everything.

[1008] We're just doing all the last minute posty stuff.

[1009] So this particular season is pretty much kind of running, you know, the trains on the tracks and it's on its way.

[1010] And honestly, what we're doing with our creator and our, you know, like our writers and our other producers is what would a season two look like if we would get that opportunity?

[1011] and I don't know if we'll get that opportunity, but we're kind of trying to look into what that would be.

[1012] We had no idea this show would be so popular.

[1013] Yeah.

[1014] It's kind of crazy.

[1015] Yeah.

[1016] It's set in Texas.

[1017] Do you guys shoot in Texas?

[1018] We do.

[1019] Oh, you do?

[1020] Oh, in Dallas.

[1021] So are you down there a bunch?

[1022] Well, weirdly enough, because this was a full shoot during COVID.

[1023] And I had a newborn.

[1024] I never went.

[1025] I was never on set.

[1026] This was the first time in New York.

[1027] my experience with my partner where we were fully apart from each other.

[1028] She was on set.

[1029] I was not on set.

[1030] And I felt more than anything very far away from the real nitty -gritty, dirty producing hands -on experience, which is where we're with the actors and we're hanging with the writers on set and everyone's having fun and doing your thing.

[1031] This was a very different experience because of all that.

[1032] Yeah.

[1033] And what is the dream show that you want to create for yourself?

[1034] beyond or now how does this having an 11 month old impede on that gosh i mean definitely it impedes because i feel like i'm just kind of coming out of that sort of black hole of breastfeeding naps diaper bed breastfeeding naps diaper bed like that like sort of a cycle that you're in when you have these little tiny people and trying to figure out when i sort of joined the world again and join my business again, I don't even know how to be away from this person.

[1035] I mean, literally, because of COVID specifically, I have not spent any time away from this little guy.

[1036] Yeah.

[1037] If the world had been normal, I would have spent some more time away and maybe even worked before this point.

[1038] Yeah, do you think it maybe is a blessing?

[1039] Because when you have a brand new baby, you're aware of the fact that you're missing the world.

[1040] Like people are out to dinner, you're not.

[1041] People are at the store, you're not.

[1042] Do you think it was maybe easier in quarantine?

[1043] Because you're like, well, everyone's just sitting around.

[1044] I'm not really missing anything.

[1045] Yes.

[1046] It just was a huge blessing to not be pulled in many directions.

[1047] Do I leave the house and miss the feeding to go to a meeting?

[1048] Right.

[1049] I just had no option.

[1050] There was no meeting.

[1051] Yeah, yeah.

[1052] There was the Zoom meeting that I was having in my bedroom that I could jump off of if I needed to feed the baby.

[1053] So for that experience, it was unbelievable to have the time and not feel like I was missing out on people and friends and family going out and traveling and having dinners and all that stuff.

[1054] Yeah, it was kind of lucky in that respect.

[1055] I have a great vasectomy doctor, just so you know.

[1056] Dr. Josephson, he handles it with care and compassion.

[1057] I was on a trampoline three days later.

[1058] So if you want, no way.

[1059] Good for you.

[1060] Yes.

[1061] Yes.

[1062] And you know what?

[1063] I want to say, I'm proud of you.

[1064] Thank you.

[1065] Thank you.

[1066] You know, when you're in a partnership, it's like, it's your turn now.

[1067] It's your turn for the, uh, for the birth control.

[1068] Procedure.

[1069] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1070] Yeah.

[1071] Yeah, let's get him in so that we don't have a third child in six years by accident.

[1072] Oh, God.

[1073] Oh, my God.

[1074] Real quick, though, with Cruel Summer, for people who haven't seen it, What is it about?

[1075] Cool Summer is a psychological drama about two young girls in high school in Texas, and one of them goes missing.

[1076] And while she is missing, this other kind of unassuming girl who she didn't know very well, sort of essentially takes over her life.

[1077] And the story really unrolls, and it's all really about what happened to.

[1078] to this girl who went missing, how is this other girl connected to it and who's telling the truth?

[1079] Ooh, juicy.

[1080] And it's on free form, right?

[1081] It's on free form, but it's on Hulu the next night after it premieres on free form.

[1082] So you can watch it on Hulu.

[1083] Okay, good, Hulu.

[1084] And the gal who's like kind of adopting her persona, what I love is I think in high school in particular, we had somebody we wished we were in high school.

[1085] Oh, for sure.

[1086] Like, there were points in my life where I'm like, yeah, I would trade with Trevor.

[1087] I want his life.

[1088] Let's give it to me. Totally.

[1089] It's kind of a universal feeling of, man, that girl's so cool and popular.

[1090] And even in the show, I think the girl has a line that says, is that so bad?

[1091] Like, am I so bad to want that to?

[1092] Yeah.

[1093] You know, and her dad character says, like, that's what you want, right?

[1094] Which is like what you probably say as a parent of a teenager who I don't have a teenager.

[1095] yet but man the angst of that time in your life where it appears that someone else's existence is so much easier oh for sure they're just not when you you pull back the drapes of somebody's real inner personal life or family life it's just very different yeah as I always say there's no accomplishment that gets you out of having to brush your teeth twice a day or like be mindful of what you eat or you know everyone's got to kind of move their body and exercise a little bit feel good.

[1096] You can't really escape all the things as much as you'd want to.

[1097] Yeah.

[1098] You know, you really can.

[1099] Oh, here's a juicy question for you.

[1100] We have so many friends that do what we all do and they all have children and there's varying degrees of whether people would want their kids to go in a show business or would hate for their kids to go into show business.

[1101] What are your thoughts on that?

[1102] It's a really good question.

[1103] I mean, my knee -jerk reaction is, oh, God, no, please, no. But then I look at these kids and I'm like, oh, shit, they're probably going to be musical.

[1104] What are you going to do?

[1105] Like not let them play the piano or not let them take a voice lesson if that's their passion.

[1106] I think back to when we were talking earlier about my mom and my parents, they wouldn't have stifled my dream.

[1107] They weren't those type of people.

[1108] And I don't want to be that parent to stifle a dream.

[1109] But man, if my kid would just be like, let's go learn about corn in Iowa, great.

[1110] Right.

[1111] I would so much rather than be an engineer.

[1112] or something.

[1113] But your response is common.

[1114] Like so many people are like, no, I don't want that.

[1115] And then I'm always like, well, what part don't you want?

[1116] I think for a lot of people, just they know how much rejections involved, how much you start determining yourself worth on how frequently you're working.

[1117] So those are like the fears.

[1118] But I don't think those are universal to our career path.

[1119] But anonymity is.

[1120] Like, you know the other side of anonymity and not having it.

[1121] And everyone who isn't in that space, no one thinks about that part of it of like, that's my dream, but you don't think.

[1122] And I'm going to lose a big part of my privacy, personal identity.

[1123] Right.

[1124] And also, by the way, it was so different, Dax, when you and I were younger and coming up in this business, there was no camera phone, no social media.

[1125] There was none of it.

[1126] I mean, there was paparazzi, but it wasn't the same.

[1127] This is a whole new thing.

[1128] When you're a young person and you're stepping into this business now, you have to step in with the knowledge that, yeah, your anonymity's gone.

[1129] You are going to be raked over the coals all over social no matter what you say.

[1130] Your whole life is going to be on social because that's the thing.

[1131] It's different now.

[1132] That's a good point.

[1133] I used to like swim naked at Ashton's house after we would go to the nightclub.

[1134] And I did that regularly.

[1135] And yeah, now there would be a video of me. swimming naked there and god knows what other fallout associated with that but that's a great point anonymity i kind of overlooked that point because in general i kind of come out on the other side of going like well i've had the other jobs i did the castle corn in fucking indiana and i was a roofer and i washed cars for 12 years like as far as a job goes it's a damn good job and you get overpaid so how bad can that be you know i guess that's where i always like what do i want them to do it's a fucking easy job if get it.

[1136] No, it's true.

[1137] You're right, right?

[1138] But it's, I think it's all the emotional part of it that's terrifying.

[1139] What you're pointing out, the intense rejection, the self -worth, also the, like, access to everything.

[1140] Yeah, yeah.

[1141] How do you not go off the deep end in a lot of different ways or just become an asshole because you can just have whatever you want?

[1142] I worry about all those kind of things.

[1143] I also worry about if my kids want to be musicians, the bar is hot.

[1144] Yeah.

[1145] Yeah.

[1146] Yeah.

[1147] That's a bummer.

[1148] And they're boys.

[1149] Yeah.

[1150] Yeah.

[1151] Yeah.

[1152] I worry about like, oh, my God, are they just going to be like, I can never be as good as my dad?

[1153] Or maybe they're going to be, I mean, please, God, let them be better.

[1154] That's going to be hard to do.

[1155] That's going to be.

[1156] I know.

[1157] Oh, you're right.

[1158] That's pretty daunting.

[1159] So that's what's daunting for sure.

[1160] Maybe they could take it in a different niche.

[1161] So it's still musical, but not like Justin.

[1162] Like maybe they're classical.

[1163] well they should go into jazz they should be like okay even if i nail jazz like i could be the biggest jazz performer of all time and still be pretty small compared to pop music so you know who knows regardless my daughter will be wed to your son so i'll be following this on the inside and the outside that's right and the lands will be joined oh well jessica i liked you when we were younger we have to do we have to do a real quick round of what do you love about laura moses oh yeah yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1164] Okay, great, great, great, great.

[1165] That's right.

[1166] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1167] It's a staple on this show for the people who know her, which is surprisingly a lot of people.

[1168] Most of the guess we have, yeah.

[1169] No, no, or better than they know us.

[1170] So how does it go?

[1171] Do we just, do we just go?

[1172] Yeah, you can go first.

[1173] I'm going to let you go first because we've already done this a few times.

[1174] Well, I love a lot of things about Laura.

[1175] And in my world, she's known as Lomo, which is the nickname Forever Lomo.

[1176] I mean, she's one of the funniest people ever.

[1177] on the planet.

[1178] I mean, she's the sweetest, most humble.

[1179] She's that person that makes me laugh out loud when I see what she posts or her relationship with her cats makes me super happy.

[1180] Me too.

[1181] Her artisan ability, her knitting ability.

[1182] Her nails.

[1183] Yeah, they're perfect.

[1184] Her nails are off the chain.

[1185] She does them herself.

[1186] It's crazy.

[1187] I wouldn't know what that means.

[1188] Would you hold your nails up to the camera so I can see what going?

[1189] These are not what I'm talking about.

[1190] But those look great nails, yeah.

[1191] One is a little square.

[1192] Your ring finger is a little squared off.

[1193] This one?

[1194] Yeah.

[1195] It's a little squared off.

[1196] The other ones have more of an arc, if I'm being critical.

[1197] Well, these nails, this is the opposite of a lo -mo nail.

[1198] Okay.

[1199] Laura's nails are long and rounded tips like the 1950s.

[1200] Elegant.

[1201] They're beautifully polished with some crazy color.

[1202] at all times or some beautiful color.

[1203] It's enviable.

[1204] You've had the same thought.

[1205] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1206] I've had her do my nails many times, and she does a really good job, but, like, mine just aren't as good naturally.

[1207] Okay, she has a genetic advantage.

[1208] She did my nails for my wedding.

[1209] Oh, wow.

[1210] That's trusted.

[1211] Which was just not like hers, just normally.

[1212] Yeah, sure.

[1213] Did you get married in Italy?

[1214] She's the guru, yes.

[1215] Was she in Italy with you?

[1216] Yeah.

[1217] God damn.

[1218] Why didn't she tell me that?

[1219] She never tells us stuff.

[1220] You should be really happy because she's never gossiped about you guys and I've asked.

[1221] I have great curiosity about all kinds of stuff and she does not divulge.

[1222] Oh, man, go lomo.

[1223] Yeah, yeah.

[1224] Man, she's a solid gold friend.

[1225] We worked together for a while and we work together still a little bit now.

[1226] But, man, she's just, dude, I love that woman.

[1227] We love her.

[1228] First person to not mention her vocabulary or wordsmithery.

[1229] Well, she said.

[1230] No, I like this.

[1231] It's fun to see the different.

[1232] I said what she posts and her, how funny she is.

[1233] I know.

[1234] This is good.

[1235] Because you want different things each time.

[1236] Absolutely.

[1237] I want to paint a full picture of her.

[1238] People must already know is that she's a real wordsmith.

[1239] That's right.

[1240] She edits some of the show and most of her notes are the words I mispronounce.

[1241] So she's pretty much the cops on what I mispronounce.

[1242] Well, you're right.

[1243] She is a serious wordsmith.

[1244] I think maybe she got me into the New York Times crossword.

[1245] Yeah.

[1246] And we did that a lot when we worked together.

[1247] But she and I haven't seen each other in a really long time and honestly kind of forgot about it.

[1248] I forgot about what a great wordsmith she is.

[1249] That's great.

[1250] I think you guys are very lucky to get to work on the daily basis with her.

[1251] Yeah.

[1252] She's a good girl.

[1253] Yeah.

[1254] Her and her fiancé, they're very happy.

[1255] And I'm going to officiate their wedding.

[1256] I'm going to marry them.

[1257] I'm going to go get ordained to do this.

[1258] That's right.

[1259] Maybe you guys will be at the nuptial.

[1260] I mean, I was really tentative about bringing it up to her because I never want anyone to feel like you have to invite.

[1261] You know what I mean?

[1262] This wedding invitation list is such a nightmare.

[1263] But she said on a text together, she was like, hey, your guys are going to be invited.

[1264] I don't know if you can come.

[1265] So I'm going to be there.

[1266] Oh, good.

[1267] I'm going to be there.

[1268] All right.

[1269] So prior to them, we're going to work out a little cue.

[1270] Okay.

[1271] So Peter Krause and I had this thing where every episode we had come up with a crazy word that you had to work into a scene.

[1272] And whoever got it on the air It was like a point and we kept track of it throughout the season Who got more of these weird words on the air So similarly, I'm gonna give you and I a catch word or phrase When I'm marrying them No, she should give it to you Oh great.

[1273] Okay, so I want you to think of a word like acorn And you're like, how's he gonna work acorn into some nuptials?

[1274] Into the nuptials.

[1275] Yes, and then when I say that you'll get a tingle You'll be sitting in your seat and you'll go, oh, that was for me, and that'll make you feel very included.

[1276] Do you like this plan?

[1277] I do, but it should be something like scrotum.

[1278] Okay.

[1279] That's going to be a tough one.

[1280] You know what?

[1281] That's going to be too easy for him, though, because he's already going to say stuff about scrotums.

[1282] I'll go Labia Menora.

[1283] Oh, God.

[1284] That'll be a little more elegant, a little more feminine for the nuptials.

[1285] Maybe it should be Planner Flachitis.

[1286] Oh, that's a good one.

[1287] I'll tell you why that's a good one.

[1288] I can't even say Yeah.

[1289] You're going to have to practice a lot.

[1290] Fasciitis?

[1291] I want to say flashyitis, but it's fasciitis.

[1292] You're fascia.

[1293] Now I don't know.

[1294] You're phagia.

[1295] Because it's, yeah, it's the fauch.

[1296] It's the faunge.

[1297] It's the faunge.

[1298] Everyone knows it's the faunge.

[1299] All right, for real, Jessica.

[1300] Thanks for chatting with us.

[1301] I want everyone to watch on June 15th.

[1302] Yes.

[1303] June 15th, watch the finale of Cruel Summer.

[1304] I guess on Hulu you'll probably watch it the 16th if it's the day after.

[1305] True.

[1306] And keep your eyes peeled for other.

[1307] Beal projects.

[1308] Beal Productions.

[1309] Yeah.

[1310] Just a general.

[1311] Yeah, please do.

[1312] In general.

[1313] What is the name of your production company?

[1314] It's called Iron Ocean Productions.

[1315] Iron Ocean.

[1316] Paradoxical.

[1317] Correct.

[1318] Mix messages.

[1319] We love mixed messages.

[1320] Yeah, we love mixed messages.

[1321] I can't stop thinking about weird words for you to put in this speech.

[1322] And the word keeps coming up, yogurt.

[1323] Oh.

[1324] Yogurt.

[1325] That's a great random.

[1326] It's really good.

[1327] It's really, really good.

[1328] Challenge accepted.

[1329] Yogurt.

[1330] We'll report back in a year.

[1331] I know.

[1332] It's too far away.

[1333] I'm so excited about this game.

[1334] All right.

[1335] Well, minimally, we will see you at the wedding.

[1336] I look forward to it.

[1337] Me too.

[1338] Thank you guys so much.

[1339] Yeah.

[1340] Take care.

[1341] Bye.

[1342] All right.

[1343] Bye.

[1344] And now my favorite part of the show, the fact check with my soulmate Monica Padman.

[1345] Hi.

[1346] How are you?

[1347] Pretty good.

[1348] You're in kind of a novel outfit.

[1349] I know you're telling me you wear those jeans all the time, but I don't remember them, first of all.

[1350] And secondly, you're in a white tea in those jeans, which you claim you wear all the time.

[1351] I do.

[1352] But it's kind of a new look for you.

[1353] Just a white tea and some ripped jeans.

[1354] Yeah.

[1355] Right?

[1356] Yeah, sure.

[1357] I guess I don't.

[1358] I mean, I wear ripped jeans a lot.

[1359] I wear these jeans quite often.

[1360] Oh, my gosh, all the time, huh?

[1361] Yeah, yeah.

[1362] Wow.

[1363] All right.

[1364] In a white tea?

[1365] Hmm.

[1366] I've worn this white tea.

[1367] Over the years.

[1368] A lot.

[1369] Oh, wow.

[1370] Okay.

[1371] Well, it looks very novel.

[1372] This is reminding me. I had a dream.

[1373] I had a dream that I was like a dinner party or something and someone said, oh, it's so novel.

[1374] And another girl was like, oh, that's so out.

[1375] Like that were.

[1376] Oh, really?

[1377] Yeah, like novel and proprietary was like a phrase.

[1378] Okay.

[1379] And it had left.

[1380] It was like been there done there.

[1381] Then they're done there?

[1382] Yeah, then they're done there.

[1383] Uh -huh.

[1384] And I was in my head like, wait, I thought we made that up.

[1385] Oh, wow.

[1386] Yeah, it was a whole thing.

[1387] You were afraid it got played out, and we didn't even know.

[1388] We didn't know.

[1389] Maybe there's a little voice in the back of your head that's like, we're overusing it, you know?

[1390] And then that was your subconscious saying like, you're overusing it.

[1391] Probably.

[1392] Played out.

[1393] Peowed.

[1394] So you went to the doctor this morning.

[1395] Yeah, two great pieces of news.

[1396] Let's hear it.

[1397] Okay, well, number one, I was laying in bed with Lincoln, and she looked at my wrist, my left wrist, and said, what is going on with that?

[1398] And so at the end of, you know, your ulna, where it joined your wrist, it's just so pronounced, like an inch and a half raised.

[1399] And what would you say left to right comparison?

[1400] Like three times as I?

[1401] More?

[1402] Yeah, probably three or four.

[1403] Three X. okay so i then was like yeah that is really crazy looking and then i was like oh i bet it's bone cancer and then i thought well no that is the hand that i crashed on and broke all the bones so maybe he got jostled in that sure and i just didn't notice it then back to thinking it was cancer and then you saw it and you thought well yeah that looks like could be cancer so i had an appointment to get an x -ray on my shoulder to get an update on how it's healing and i went in and first let me tell you about the shoulder.

[1404] Bone has grown completely across the top of the clavicle.

[1405] They're very thrilled with the amount of bone that's grown back.

[1406] Oh, my God.

[1407] So much bone.

[1408] They were really excited with the...

[1409] Excessive bone.

[1410] The density, the amount.

[1411] Great.

[1412] And then they took an x -ray of my weird doodad.

[1413] Uh -huh.

[1414] Not cancer.

[1415] And what did they say, though?

[1416] Why does it look like that?

[1417] It's pretty separated.

[1418] Like, where your ulna would...

[1419] You'd love to say.

[1420] ulna.

[1421] Well, that's what it is.

[1422] I don't want you to confuse.

[1423] It's not the radius.

[1424] It's kind of like classist, though.

[1425] Classist?

[1426] To call it an ulna.

[1427] You think so?

[1428] Yeah.

[1429] Tell me why.

[1430] That's like the fancy version.

[1431] What would you say?

[1432] Um, the end of your hand.

[1433] That's not right.

[1434] The end of your hands your fingertips.

[1435] Oh, okay.

[1436] Where the hand meets the wrist.

[1437] Okay.

[1438] But then you might go like, well, what side on the inside or the outside?

[1439] Uh, top.

[1440] Proximal or distal?

[1441] top oh wow again again actually that's anterior posterior oh god so it's on the distal end of my ulna on the posterior side any who i think yeah during that crash it kind of separated a bit so there's a pretty good size gap in there and he said we're not going to do anything about that great i said good i don't want anything done about it doesn't hurt right no it just looks like i have bone cancer which you know yeah now that i've told everyone it's not everyone will not worry true but i wonder if people We'll start looking for it in the pictures.

[1442] Oh.

[1443] It's pretty gross, right?

[1444] No, it's not gross.

[1445] You know what it looks like, gang?

[1446] If you've got a grandmother with a big pronounced bunion, that's what it looks like.

[1447] Like, I have a bunion on my wrist.

[1448] I mean, it looks like a cyst.

[1449] Oh.

[1450] Not a bad.

[1451] But like it's filled with fluid.

[1452] No, you can't tell with cis that they're filled with fluid.

[1453] They just are big bumps.

[1454] I know, but sis are no one like sis.

[1455] I love sis.

[1456] Oh, you do?

[1457] No, I hate them.

[1458] No. Yeah, they're really alarming.

[1459] Yeah.

[1460] They're usually a harbinger, a harbinger.

[1461] things to come.

[1462] Well, yeah.

[1463] Yeah, true.

[1464] I guess it's a ding, ding, ding, so we should.

[1465] Jess had a big cyst on his back.

[1466] You think he wants us to tell America?

[1467] Or did he post a picture?

[1468] He probably did.

[1469] It's hard to know with him.

[1470] He didn't post a picture.

[1471] But it was, yeah.

[1472] He had a cyst on his back and everyone wanted to take care of it themselves in our pod.

[1473] They were like, I'm going to drain that.

[1474] I wanted to.

[1475] You wanted to.

[1476] Ryan, all these people.

[1477] And I was very adamant about that.

[1478] happening.

[1479] I know.

[1480] And I'm grateful.

[1481] Again, this gets into our old, like, here's what happened.

[1482] He went in there.

[1483] They took a scalpel.

[1484] They sterilized it.

[1485] And then they popped it.

[1486] No, they gave him a shot first.

[1487] Yeah, big deal.

[1488] So it would have heard a little more with us.

[1489] Oh, no. If it had been something serious, like they needed to take samples of that.

[1490] And they did, I think.

[1491] Oh, yeah, I think you're out on a limb here.

[1492] No, I'm not.

[1493] You're assuming they did.

[1494] Well, they should have.

[1495] Okay.

[1496] Well, not of just puss came out.

[1497] And it was that, that's all it was.

[1498] It wasn't, though.

[1499] But if there's some Tissu and some.

[1500] Well, this is a ding, ding, ding, because Monica and Jess.

[1501] Oh, oh, okay.

[1502] Okay, okay, great.

[1503] Monica and Jess season two is coming up.

[1504] COVID's over.

[1505] Well, it's not over.

[1506] Quarantine's over.

[1507] Oh, yeah.

[1508] Jess and I were at a bar last night, and it was packed.

[1509] Booming.

[1510] It was.

[1511] It was.

[1512] Popping.

[1513] I kept thinking, like, wow, just a year ago.

[1514] Mm. Could not.

[1515] Couldn't do it.

[1516] And then you were approached and someone asked for your phone number.

[1517] This is really a ding, ding, ding for Monica and Jess.

[1518] It is.

[1519] Because it's like, well, let's get the ball rolling.

[1520] Yeah.

[1521] So someone asked you for your phone number.

[1522] They did.

[1523] It was lovely.

[1524] What did the male or female?

[1525] Male.

[1526] Okay.

[1527] And what did the male look like?

[1528] So cute.

[1529] Oh, really?

[1530] So, so cute.

[1531] Oh, my God.

[1532] He introduced himself with some friends.

[1533] They were armed cherries.

[1534] Okay.

[1535] How old do you think he was?

[1536] Well, this is part of the story.

[1537] So he came up.

[1538] They introduced himself.

[1539] They were so sweet.

[1540] And then I left the restaurant and I was on the sidewalk.

[1541] And he came chasing.

[1542] Oh, my God.

[1543] This is so romantic.

[1544] It was.

[1545] It was very sweet.

[1546] He came chasing after me. And then Jess was screaming, apply.

[1547] You can apply.

[1548] He said, can I have your phone number?

[1549] Oh, my God.

[1550] And I said, sure.

[1551] Oh, my God.

[1552] Were you nervous when he said that?

[1553] Yes, of course.

[1554] Oh, my God.

[1555] This is so exciting.

[1556] I'm so shy.

[1557] I'm so shy.

[1558] So then I gave it to him and then I got home and he texted me immediately.

[1559] Oh, my gosh.

[1560] And he said, he said, sorry if that was weird.

[1561] Okay, good.

[1562] I just, I'm in love with you.

[1563] I just think you're great and would love to hang out.

[1564] Oh, my God.

[1565] And I said, are you kidding?

[1566] I love that you did that.

[1567] Oh, good.

[1568] That's very encouraging.

[1569] Can I ask how old are you?

[1570] Oh, okay.

[1571] Because he looked quite young.

[1572] Okay.

[1573] And he was a little young for me. He said, I'll be blank in.

[1574] Did he?

[1575] Oh, I knew it.

[1576] Which was a really cute thing to do.

[1577] I'll be 25 in November.

[1578] He said, I'll be blank.

[1579] So I said, you know, thank you so much.

[1580] That was, I'm so grateful you did that.

[1581] And I think you're a little young for me. Oh, wow.

[1582] And what did he say?

[1583] And he said, I get it.

[1584] I just think you're something.

[1585] Oh, my God, what?

[1586] You're, like, great and beautiful.

[1587] And if you change your mind, if you change your mind, let me know.

[1588] Well, don't, because I, that is too young for me. But what, not for a roll -around?

[1589] No, that's not nice.

[1590] What's not nice?

[1591] I don't think it's nice.

[1592] I don't think he wants, wanted that.

[1593] Oh, fuck, yes, he wants that.

[1594] He's 27 years old near a bombshell.

[1595] Yes, he wants to roll around.

[1596] It's okay to roll around and not have a relationship.

[1597] It is, it is.

[1598] It is, of course.

[1599] What is a tussle?

[1600] Like a little rasseling, a little light wrestling match at your apartment.

[1601] Yesterday was kind of got, like, so we were at this bar.

[1602] Yeah, we were at bar Stella.

[1603] Shout out.

[1604] It's a great bar in Los Angeles.

[1605] So me and Jess and Anna were there.

[1606] And it was a lovely Thursday.

[1607] But we started getting into a lot of like relationship conversations.

[1608] So we were a, I mean, it was like we were putting stuff out there, I think, in the air.

[1609] Oh, because many people approach your table?

[1610] No, but okay, so the second part was the boy that I, in Monica and Jess, season one, that I sexted with, he came up in conversation.

[1611] Oh, in conversation.

[1612] In conversation.

[1613] I thought you said he was there.

[1614] No. He's not living in the current United States right now.

[1615] The contiguous?

[1616] Yeah, yeah.

[1617] He's not living in the United States currently, is what I meant to say.

[1618] But anyway, so he came up in conversation, a very silly conversation that led me to believe.

[1619] that Jess doesn't know what twins are.

[1620] Tell me. Because this person, his sister had a birthday yesterday, and he had posted about it, the sister's birthday.

[1621] And Jess was like, yeah, that's his twin.

[1622] And I said, so today's his birthday?

[1623] Yeah.

[1624] And he was like, no. And I was like, then that's not his twin.

[1625] He was not.

[1626] What?

[1627] Yeah.

[1628] What?

[1629] I'm really putting him on blast in this back.

[1630] Well, hold on.

[1631] What is he?

[1632] I don't know.

[1633] Was he playing with you?

[1634] You?

[1635] I don't know.

[1636] Ona and I were doing a lot of side -eyeings.

[1637] We were like, no, that's not how twins work.

[1638] Right.

[1639] You're born on the same moment, virtually.

[1640] Same egg.

[1641] Yeah.

[1642] Well, sometimes.

[1643] Well, that would be not same egg, I guess.

[1644] Yeah, because it'd be brother or sister.

[1645] Anyway, I guess none of us understand.

[1646] Distal end of the ulna.

[1647] And Jess also said, he's 24.

[1648] And I said, no, he's not.

[1649] And he said, yes, he is.

[1650] And I was like, wait, what?

[1651] Oh, my God, so you were a sex thing with a 22 -year -old?

[1652] But I knew Jess was wrong.

[1653] So then I texted him and said, I need clarification on two things.

[1654] Are you 24 and are you a twin?

[1655] Yeah.

[1656] And neither of those things turned out to be true.

[1657] Neither checked out.

[1658] Correct.

[1659] Wow, sexy vibes.

[1660] Because of Monica and Jess.

[1661] Wow.

[1662] We put it out in the universe.

[1663] A lot of arrows coming your way from Cupid.

[1664] We're very, very, of course, incredibly nervous that no one's going to apply.

[1665] That's, we're, how could, how on earth could you guys be nervous about that?

[1666] You're just out at a restaurant and people are giving you their number.

[1667] I know, but, well, here's the other thing that you mentioned.

[1668] That's important and it will be brought up on the show plenty because, you know, in a bachelor sense, like, why are they there?

[1669] Obviously, we know this is a podcast and that some, some, if not all, will be applying to be a part of a podcast.

[1670] Sure.

[1671] Yeah, yeah.

[1672] And not really to date us or whatever.

[1673] But we know that, you know, it's not necessarily.

[1674] necessarily like we're going in with the notion that that's not going to happen.

[1675] But I guess the hope is like they can come for whatever reason.

[1676] And if there is some sort of connection.

[1677] Put it this way.

[1678] What was the name of the podcast you used to listen to a lot and we did it?

[1679] Totally lame.

[1680] Totally lame.

[1681] Like what if she did it with her husband?

[1682] Yeah.

[1683] But you just loved that show.

[1684] Oh, yeah.

[1685] And one of the husband wasn't her husband, but it was just a guy and you're like, I like that guy.

[1686] Yeah.

[1687] You could genuinely both like that guy.

[1688] And want to be involved with this podcast you love.

[1689] Right.

[1690] Both things could be true.

[1691] Two things can happen at once.

[1692] Yeah.

[1693] Sometimes even more.

[1694] We're really excited.

[1695] You guys are open for business.

[1696] We're open for business as of today.

[1697] Oh, my God.

[1698] You're officially open for business.

[1699] So if you want to apply or if you know anyone.

[1700] Did you go on this guy's Instagram last night?

[1701] No. I don't know his last name.

[1702] Oh.

[1703] I want to see what he looks like.

[1704] He had blonde hair.

[1705] Was it me?

[1706] Cute.

[1707] Yeah.

[1708] It was.

[1709] Is this name me?

[1710] Is this name me?

[1711] Oh my God.

[1712] This is great news.

[1713] I know.

[1714] Forever one.

[1715] Shaved off 19 years.

[1716] I wouldn't want to be 27 again.

[1717] Me either.

[1718] I want to live forever, of course.

[1719] But I want to stay this age that I am right now.

[1720] Forever.

[1721] I don't want to go backwards.

[1722] This is a ding, ding, ding.

[1723] Okay.

[1724] Nick from Bless This Mess.

[1725] Yes.

[1726] Who you love more than anyone in the world.

[1727] Yeah, what a physique.

[1728] he texted me the other day, which just saw me on the progressive commercial and was saying that he saw me. And then we were chatting a little bit and he said that his 30th birthday is coming up and he's nervous.

[1729] Like he does, I don't think he, he wasn't excited about that.

[1730] Right.

[1731] And I was like, no, it's so much better.

[1732] Get out of those 20s.

[1733] Yeah.

[1734] But I know what his is probably motivated by.

[1735] And same with my distaste for getting older.

[1736] My 20s simply was I had a career goal that I have not met, and I did not feel like I was getting closer to, so the ages were really...

[1737] They meant something bigger.

[1738] Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1739] I think I have had that as well.

[1740] Right.

[1741] We all put these things on ourselves.

[1742] Like women also have that for marriage and kids and all of that.

[1743] Speaking of which, I want to revisit the offer, the corporation armchair expert, has offered to freeze your eggs to pay for that.

[1744] Yeah, I probably am going to freeze them.

[1745] I'm not going to take you up on the offer.

[1746] I will pay for it.

[1747] That's a bummer.

[1748] Because when you have a kid, I want to look at the kid and go, I paid for you.

[1749] That's why I can't do it.

[1750] I'm teasing.

[1751] Well, that's exactly why I can't do it.

[1752] Hey, just want to let you know like you're here because of me. Basically, I force Monica to freeze your eggs and I'm paid.

[1753] Well, that's not true.

[1754] Wabiwob and Monica and I all paid, but I paid the line share.

[1755] I want you to know that.

[1756] That's precisely why I won't.

[1757] take you up on it.

[1758] There's going to be strings attached.

[1759] I know that.

[1760] But I think I will do it.

[1761] By the way, I think if I were you, I would do it in the same reason I got like propitia, which is just like, I don't want to think about this anymore.

[1762] So I'm going to do everything I can and then I can just shut that off.

[1763] Yeah, like the freedom of even, you know.

[1764] Yeah, because I don't even know, you know, this isn't on the application, but we thought about adding it.

[1765] Do you want to have kids?

[1766] But we didn't add it.

[1767] Yeah.

[1768] And we mainly didn't add it because Jess and I both are like we don't know.

[1769] Right.

[1770] Where would you say your ad out of 100 %?

[1771] 100%.

[1772] I do want them.

[1773] Yes.

[1774] It's really hard to separate all the elements that come into play.

[1775] Like what I know is part of why I want them and I don't like this.

[1776] Okay.

[1777] Is because all my friends have them.

[1778] Oh, sure.

[1779] And I feel sometimes, and I'm sure a lot of single people feel like this if they're around a lot of couples.

[1780] But I feel like there's some invisible ranking happening and I'm always at the bottom of it and no one is doing anything to make me feel that way but there is this like hierarchy of the families and then the couples and then the single people and I don't like feeling like that but I also don't want to be motivated by that that feels like a dumb reason to want a family yeah so that I can be on even playing field with the rest of my friends.

[1781] And I know also a lot of that's in my head.

[1782] Yeah, I mean, the ranking thing, I can only say as a member of one of the people that's married and have kids.

[1783] Yeah.

[1784] There's never been a single moment in my head where I ranked anybody on anything.

[1785] No, I know that.

[1786] Now, there's been hypothetical questions who you kill.

[1787] Mm -hmm.

[1788] And that's it.

[1789] And that was a hypothetical...

[1790] That's not nothing.

[1791] I mean, I know it was a...

[1792] It's like a jokey question, but it is meaningful to the point.

[1793] person that is like, oh, on this grand scale of life, I don't matter as much because of this thing.

[1794] And I don't like that.

[1795] Like, I don't like that we do that where we value people more if they have children or if they're in a relationship.

[1796] I don't think anyone values anyone in a relationship.

[1797] Like, no hypothetical would be like, okay, you want to kill Monica or Laura.

[1798] Oh, well, let's kill Monica.

[1799] because if we killed Laura, Matt would be sad.

[1800] That conversation wouldn't go that way.

[1801] But the kid thing is just very simple.

[1802] Like some people have people depending on them.

[1803] And they can't do it themselves.

[1804] The kids can't raise themselves.

[1805] So there is some implicit.

[1806] Of course.

[1807] But that is just one hypothetical.

[1808] Never, like, who are we going to do anything with?

[1809] Never is it.

[1810] No, I know.

[1811] Again, I just think it's a societal layer.

[1812] I don't, I'm not saying that it's like our group that's doing it.

[1813] It's just, this is a thing I think that exists in the world.

[1814] Uh -huh.

[1815] And even like, just a tiny example, if we're on a vacation, all of us are on a vacation, uh -huh.

[1816] The first people to get bedrooms, of course, would be families, then couples, then single people.

[1817] It goes in that ranking, right?

[1818] As someone who's been in charge of assigning rooms at a lot of these rental houses, no, for me, yeah, if we can get like four family members in one bedroom, great.

[1819] Let's give them the big room, then there's not four people taken up.

[1820] Yes.

[1821] But couples, no. It's not like...

[1822] I think you do a really good job of not having that be a factor.

[1823] Okay.

[1824] I really do.

[1825] I think you are one of the only people who thinks like that when they're figuring out room situations.

[1826] Yeah.

[1827] And just in other groups.

[1828] Like, I know that that's just a little bit of a thing.

[1829] Anyway, I'm off on a big tangent just to say, I've been thinking about it a lot more.

[1830] and a lot of like, do I really want the stuff?

[1831] Or is it because of all these other factors happening in my head?

[1832] Yeah, for sure.

[1833] So we're going to explore it.

[1834] I have to say I'm happy that that wasn't in my calculus at all.

[1835] Yeah.

[1836] Like I didn't have any feelings other than just evaluating, do I want the responsibility?

[1837] Yeah.

[1838] Anyway, so apply to Monica and Jess Love Boy.

[1839] If you want to get involved in this.

[1840] Yeah.

[1841] Yeah, and if you know anyone who you think would be good for myself or Jess, then send them the application.

[1842] The application's pretty quick.

[1843] There's nothing to.

[1844] Where's it at on our website, armchairexpertpod .com?

[1845] We'll post a direct link.

[1846] It'll be there.

[1847] It'll be on the website, and there'll be links.

[1848] Nudes?

[1849] Of you and Jess?

[1850] Just so people see if they want to get involved.

[1851] TBD.

[1852] All right.

[1853] Some fackies.

[1854] Jessica.

[1855] Beal.

[1856] Chemically, do you forget what it's like to give birth?

[1857] I heard that once.

[1858] Oh, actually, chemically, you forget so that you can do it again because it's so painful.

[1859] Turns out that's not true.

[1860] That doesn't seem true.

[1861] It's not true at all.

[1862] They do tend to, like, lower the number on the scale as time goes by, but that's, like, every pain.

[1863] Yeah, yeah.

[1864] It still hurts and you remember it.

[1865] They know it, yeah.

[1866] Yeah, yeah, because I've met a lot of, women.

[1867] They don't seem to have forgotten how painful childbirth was.

[1868] Okay, what are the five S's?

[1869] Oh, can I try?

[1870] Yeah.

[1871] Swaddling, swain.

[1872] No. Yeah.

[1873] Oh, yeah, maybe because I put swinging, but that must be.

[1874] No, that would be swinging, which is probably swaying.

[1875] Yeah.

[1876] Swaddling, swain, shushing, sucking, and swaddling, swaddling, swinging, and, swaddling, swinging, shushing, sucking.

[1877] Is it obvious, the fifth?

[1878] Not really.

[1879] What is it?

[1880] Side or stomach position.

[1881] Oh, I totally forgot that.

[1882] Yeah, that's a...

[1883] But that makes sense because I used to hold...

[1884] I'd hold Lincoln on her side on my forearm, and she'd suck my thumb.

[1885] And then I'd sway her at the same time.

[1886] I'm like, I'm banging out three of the asses right now.

[1887] It was awesome.

[1888] She's like in a little football position.

[1889] And you could have shushed.

[1890] I was probably shushing.

[1891] I was probably shushing.

[1892] Probably shushing.

[1893] And she was swaddled.

[1894] No. She was like a little monkey over my arm.

[1895] But that really works.

[1896] Dr. Harvey Carp.

[1897] Yeah.

[1898] The five S's, the most happy baby on the block.

[1899] That's a ding, ding, ding babies.

[1900] Oh, my gosh.

[1901] Oh, my God.

[1902] Okay.

[1903] We talked about your arranged marriage that you're going to have with their son.

[1904] Oh, their son and our daughters.

[1905] Yes.

[1906] So I looked up some percentages on arranged marriages.

[1907] Oh.

[1908] India, Pakistan, Japan, and China have the highest percentages of arranged marriages.

[1909] In India, it is speculated that as much as 60 % of marriages are arranged.

[1910] And while research on the success rates of arranged couples is thin, one study done in 2012 shows the divorce rate of arranged marriages being less than 4 %.

[1911] Oh, my gosh.

[1912] As opposed to around 40 % of marriages in the U .S. where partner choose who to marry on their own free will.

[1913] Yeah.

[1914] It's a big diff.

[1915] That just opens up another round of questioning, which is like, if you already live in a society where you have to accept being told you're going to marry somebody, you also accept that you can't get divorced.

[1916] Like, is it a symbol of harmony or is it a symbol of a whole structure that would have caused that to happen in the first place?

[1917] So it's hard to know.

[1918] Very.

[1919] But I also think it is cultural and that they're going into marriage with a little bit different of an expectation.

[1920] It is still more in those countries, a financial arrangement.

[1921] Yeah, or just like a practical arrangement more, I think I would say, than finance, at this stage.

[1922] Well, I'm only using that term in, in reference.

[1923] reference to how they described it pre -50s.

[1924] Well, it was pre -60s.

[1925] Like, women didn't work.

[1926] Yeah.

[1927] They had to have a provider.

[1928] So it was a financial endeavor in some way.

[1929] But women didn't work here, and they weren't arranged marriages.

[1930] Women didn't work here.

[1931] In the United States.

[1932] Well, they weren't arranged, but they were still a survival.

[1933] You weren't marrying for love.

[1934] You were marrying to survive.

[1935] Right.

[1936] Gymnastics.

[1937] Yes, here we go.

[1938] That's something we can agree on.

[1939] So we were talking about the love.

[1940] And she said there are 12 levels, but there's 10 levels.

[1941] Okay, great.

[1942] There's 10 levels in gymnastics and then elite.

[1943] So I guess you could say 11 if you really wanted to.

[1944] But 10 levels and then elite is the last level.

[1945] Can't go further.

[1946] No. Just gold medals at that point.

[1947] That's right.

[1948] Simone Biles is back for this Olympics, right?

[1949] I know.

[1950] That's exciting.

[1951] I know.

[1952] Are you so pumped?

[1953] Yes.

[1954] I'm so excited for the Olympics.

[1955] Was there an episode of 7th Heaven regarding premarital sex?

[1956] Yes.

[1957] There was.

[1958] Simon had premarital sex.

[1959] Simon says.

[1960] Simon sex.

[1961] The charity thing, 501C3.

[1962] 501C3.

[1963] Oh, yeah.

[1964] I don't know what I guessed.

[1965] You guessed 401.

[1966] Oh, 401.

[1967] Oh, you guessed 401C3.

[1968] So you were close.

[1969] Oh, one off.

[1970] Yeah.

[1971] And then it is.

[1972] Planter fasciitis.

[1973] We got there, but just double confirming that.

[1974] And that's it.

[1975] Okay.

[1976] Those were great.

[1977] Yeah.

[1978] And a lot of big juicy detours.

[1979] Oh, yeah.

[1980] Deter's.

[1981] All right.

[1982] I love you.

[1983] Love you.

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