Stanley Tucci

[0] Welcome, welcome, welcome to armchair expert.

[1] I'm Dan Shepard, and I'm joined by Minica Lillicum.

[2] Hello.

[3] What was it?

[4] It was Madeline Padolin.

[5] Madeline Paddlein.

[6] But when you just said the thing you said, it sounded like the poop that comes out of the baby.

[7] Oh, yes.

[8] What's it called?

[9] It's called Marconium.

[10] Yeah.

[11] Maconium.

[12] Okay.

[13] Oh, I got it just before Rob got the right answer.

[14] And I only kind of got it.

[15] No, you got it.

[16] Poor Stanley Tucci.

[17] No one wants to talk about maconium.

[18] Everyone does.

[19] He's studying food.

[20] It couldn't be a worse, worse thing.

[21] So today's guest, Stanley Tucci, who also will answer now a five -week -old riddle of who was the host of our dinner party we so enjoyed.

[22] But what you're going to hear is him, not as a host, but as a guest on the show Armchair Expert.

[23] I don't have you ever heard of it.

[24] It was about explores the messiness of being human.

[25] And Stanley Tucci, of course, is an award -winning actor, writer, director, and a best -selling author.

[26] He is here today to speak of his new book called Taste, My Life Through Food.

[27] I don't need to tell you, he was in Devil Wears Prada, Julia, and Julia, the Hunger Games.

[28] He also wrote and directed The Big Night, which is an incredible movie about his love for Italian food.

[29] This was really fun, and it got me zestful for life.

[30] Yeah, me too.

[31] Food will do that.

[32] does do that.

[33] And especially if the food involves traveling to where the food originates from, the whole thing now just becomes a big romance novel to me. Yeah, the show that he hosts on CNN is so unbelievable and makes my mouth water every time.

[34] Every single time.

[35] So please enjoy Stanley Tucci and please check out his new book, Taste, My Life Through Food.

[36] Wondry Plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now.

[37] Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts, or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts.

[38] He's an odd chance, but I'm feeling so guilty he has to hold it.

[39] I am too.

[40] There's a lot of things I feel guilty about already.

[41] Somehow, like, when we're at home and people come over, we go like, yeah, they left their house and knew exactly what this is about.

[42] But because we came to you, I kind of feel like you were at home and you're like, oh, fuck, it's fucking, oh, I got to go over there in four minutes.

[43] No. Then we've intruded in your neighborhood.

[44] No, not at all.

[45] I'm happy.

[46] I was so happy.

[47] It was here.

[48] No, because I didn't know you were going to be here.

[49] And it was the other day I found out that we were doing this in person.

[50] And thank God you're promoting something.

[51] Right?

[52] Because I could have caught you on like a, like a not promoting, like not promoting just talking about myself.

[53] Can you imagine your life without promoting, without having something to talk about?

[54] No, at this point, no. But here's the thing.

[55] When you do it, I'll complain about it.

[56] And then as soon as I do it, as soon as I do it.

[57] but I'm like, God, I love talking to that guy.

[58] Yeah.

[59] I was like, I had the best time.

[60] That's all.

[61] Every one I do, I go like, that was so much fun.

[62] That's kind of how we feel, too.

[63] About everything.

[64] That's modus operandi for us, which is like, I don't want to.

[65] And then every time I'm on the right home, I love this.

[66] How tall are you?

[67] Six -three.

[68] And last night we went to this great restaurant.

[69] You've probably been, Jim Kana.

[70] Oh, yes.

[71] Holy smokes.

[72] It's wonderful.

[73] Incredible, right?

[74] Yeah, it's amazing.

[75] But it's a subterranean experience.

[76] Yes.

[77] You keep going lower and lower into the earth.

[78] Yeah, and they redid it because it used to be different, and then they had that whole thing downstairs, which is beautifully done.

[79] Oh, it's gorgeous.

[80] But it is quite.

[81] Clostrophobic is that?

[82] Yes, it was like you're in a ship or something.

[83] Yes, in the galley or something.

[84] Yeah.

[85] Also, spielunking crossed my mind.

[86] As it was getting tighter and tighter, I was thinking of spilunking.

[87] What is spielunking?

[88] Spurlunking.

[89] Spurlunking.

[90] Spurring.

[91] Spillunking.

[92] I think it's spolunking.

[93] I think it's spolunking.

[94] Oh, okay.

[95] Well, you know, like exploring.

[96] tight caves with roles.

[97] Oh, that, that, that, that's right.

[98] I think that's called speed longer.

[99] Maybe I can definitely be wrong.

[100] It's not, it's not speed for, no, fuck out.

[101] Well, look it up in the fact, we should tell people, we're in London.

[102] Oh, yeah, yeah, we're in London at the cutest place.

[103] Let's give it a shout out.

[104] This is called Olympic Studios.

[105] Olympic Studios.

[106] And Stanley can tell us the history.

[107] The history.

[108] Go.

[109] I'll be your tour guide today.

[110] Strap in.

[111] So Olympic Studios, Olympic Studios was founded in 1927.

[112] No, I have no idea.

[113] It was a big recording studio in the 60s and 70s and all that.

[114] So they had like the Rolling Stones recorded here and Joan Armour Trading and they have albums over there that I think every single album probably was recorded here.

[115] But like, you know, Elton John, like all, everybody.

[116] Do you have a favorite English rock man?

[117] The Beatles.

[118] The Beatles, okay.

[119] Above Rolling Stones for you.

[120] Okay, yeah.

[121] I mean, I love the Rolling Stones.

[122] I mean, yeah, but the Beatles, that innovation was like staggering in such a short period of time.

[123] In fact, I was just reading this article yesterday about, you know, this new documentary that Peter Jackson did that I can't wait to see.

[124] It's three or four parts about Let It Be.

[125] Oh, because they have all this footage that nobody's ever seen before.

[126] And plus taped conversations with them.

[127] and it sounds fucking incredible.

[128] Oh, I'm going to love that.

[129] Have you gone to the Beatles love show, the Cirque de Soleil show in Vegas?

[130] No, no. I'm not surprised by that.

[131] I'm just doing like a quick, thin slicing of your whole vibe.

[132] I think he's too sophisticated.

[133] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[134] Vegas for me. Sure, sure.

[135] It's not my.

[136] You've said enough.

[137] My bag.

[138] We can read between the lines.

[139] I spent a week there one night.

[140] By the way, if you're in Vegas, we're going to be performing on the, 16.

[141] And we just love the state.

[142] What a beautiful state.

[143] They love you, Las Vegas.

[144] They called the bread basket of somewhere.

[145] The bread basket.

[146] Nevada, yeah.

[147] Is it?

[148] They don't make bread there.

[149] No, they don't grow a goddamn thing in Nevada.

[150] They have nothing.

[151] They have tumble wheat.

[152] Tumble wheat.

[153] Tumble wheat.

[154] I think booze is their export, most likely.

[155] Booze and STDs.

[156] Let's not forget those.

[157] You're right.

[158] Yeah, you can pick one of those up right quick.

[159] Yeah.

[160] Okay, so how long have you been living in England?

[161] It's such an interesting, I think for any of us, the notion of moving away, there's like a fantasy.

[162] I certainly ruminate on like what my life would be in Europe.

[163] Yeah.

[164] A, when did you move here?

[165] B, has your fantasy of your life in Europe come to fruition?

[166] In a lot of ways, yes, it has.

[167] Oh, God.

[168] I always wanted to live in Europe because I lived in Italy when I was a kid for a year.

[169] Florence?

[170] Florence, yeah.

[171] I was like 12, 13.

[172] And when I came to manhood, when I, you know, By the time I was like, by the time I graduated college, I was like, I really had this, like, yearning to go back to Europe.

[173] Like, I really had to go back.

[174] And I sold some stock that my grandfather had left for me, which was $2 ,000 worth of something.

[175] Can I ask what securities that, what would company?

[176] It was like AT &T or something.

[177] Okay.

[178] Right, great.

[179] Or bell telephone at the time or something, do you know what I mean?

[180] Yeah.

[181] And I went to Europe for three weeks, three to four weeks, on two thousand.

[182] I spent $25 a day.

[183] I had Arthur Fromer's Travel Guide, and People Express is what I flew over.

[184] It was so great.

[185] Were you by yourself or did you have a companion?

[186] No, just by myself.

[187] This is bold.

[188] Yeah, right out of college or 22?

[189] It was 22.

[190] It was like a year after college or something like that.

[191] And I was desperate to go.

[192] Did you get lonely?

[193] No, not really, because I was 21, 22.

[194] I had just endless energy.

[195] And I would meet people and talk to people.

[196] And it was like, great.

[197] But it made me realize how much I loved Europe, and I really wanted to live here.

[198] So anyway, that's a long -winded answer.

[199] But when the opportunity arose when Felicity was like, look, I really feel like we should move to England, I think she's, because she has a full -time, like, actual job.

[200] Literary agent, yeah, yeah.

[201] And we just felt it was the right thing to do because my wife had passed away and we had gotten remarried.

[202] And I think living where I was wasn't so healthy necessarily.

[203] And the kids had spent some time here with us, and I had made a move.

[204] So you were in your same apartment?

[205] I was in the same house in Westchester.

[206] Oh, man. Fantasy is not the right word because I'm not fantasizing that my wife passed.

[207] But I do think about it all the time.

[208] Right.

[209] Generally in terms of like I'm an addict, so if they all die, I'm out, right?

[210] Right.

[211] So I've already got the place.

[212] I'm going to live in St. Louis and drink myself to death.

[213] That's a side note.

[214] Did you pick a spot in St. Louis or just?

[215] St. Louis in general.

[216] The dream is to have a very small apartment above a saloon.

[217] That's kind of where.

[218] So it's not a fantasy, but I do think about that.

[219] Like if my wife were to pass.

[220] And then, of course, I think we just built our first house we've ever done together.

[221] And then I think, God, would I live there?

[222] And what would that be like?

[223] Would I think of her all the time?

[224] I think about that a lot.

[225] Yeah.

[226] But you've experienced that.

[227] And you must, right?

[228] Yeah.

[229] And is there part of you, too, that I would imagine I would feel like this ethical obligation to her to not stop thinking about her all day and walking around?

[230] But you can't help it.

[231] Yeah.

[232] You know what I mean?

[233] It's not like you have to try to do it.

[234] Right, right, right.

[235] It's there.

[236] I mean, she's, you know, we were together for 18 years.

[237] We were married for 14 years.

[238] And we had, she had two children.

[239] When I met her, we had three children together.

[240] We went through quite a lot together.

[241] And so she's always there.

[242] I dream about her all the time.

[243] And this is super personal.

[244] But what percentages of the memories are, like kind of joyful and what are just sorrow if you could put a percentage like well a lot of it's joyful at this point oh yeah yeah of course because it was 2009 yeah so yeah a lot of it's joyful the dreams are weird because in the dreams she's nice to me in two dreams over the last 11 years so other than that you're just like she's horrible to me and she was such a nice person And I don't know what it is, but I'm always so excited to see her.

[245] I'm so excited to see her.

[246] And I'm like, oh, my God, I'm so happy to see you and you're okay.

[247] I mean, literally, like, you're not dead.

[248] Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

[249] And she's like, no, I'm not dead.

[250] I'm fine or whatever.

[251] And then I'm like, okay, well, this is so great.

[252] We can be together.

[253] She's like, I don't think so, you know.

[254] Oh, wow.

[255] And I'm like, what are you talking about?

[256] And she's either in love with someone else or whatever.

[257] Or she's just like, oh, I never liked you really.

[258] Right, right.

[259] It took me getting out of that.

[260] Yeah, yeah.

[261] But to understand I had Stockholm syndrome, but now I realized I had Stockholm syndrome.

[262] Were they fears at the time you were married?

[263] Like, I'm not good enough for her or?

[264] I don't deserve her.

[265] Yeah, in some ways, yes.

[266] Yeah, in some ways.

[267] And was I always the greatest husband?

[268] No. But I don't know what it is.

[269] I just, I miss her.

[270] I miss her a lot.

[271] Then I'm sure it's probably guilt about a lot of things and guilt about moving on.

[272] Yeah.

[273] Yeah.

[274] I'm sure that's what it is.

[275] So it's just, it's hard.

[276] Anyway, so moving here, I think, was a healthy move.

[277] It wasn't easy for the kids at first, but in the end, I think it was a good move.

[278] Well, how many years ago did you move here?

[279] Eight.

[280] And how old were the kids then?

[281] The twins were 13 and Camilla was 11.

[282] And now you're in this really interesting position.

[283] We just interviewed an Englishman who has American children, and it's freaky.

[284] Oh, yeah.

[285] And so now you have a couple of, I assume, English kids, right?

[286] I have very British children.

[287] Yeah.

[288] What is, again, I kind of swim around thinking of that experience.

[289] Do you get over it immediately or is it always kind of like, oh, my God, my kids have an accent?

[290] No, sometimes when they say stuff, I'm like, what?

[291] Why do you talk like that?

[292] You want to go, like, lose the accent, you know?

[293] Yeah.

[294] Stop trying to ask.

[295] Like, stop trying.

[296] That's too much.

[297] Too much.

[298] Take it down and not.

[299] Do you know, as fact, Matteo's very six, hyper intelligent.

[300] and, I mean, incredibly verbose.

[301] So he walks in the other day from the garden, and he goes, I have a hypothesis.

[302] Oh, my God.

[303] And what do you do?

[304] What do you do?

[305] I go, oh, my God.

[306] My God.

[307] What was the hypothesis?

[308] I have no idea.

[309] Then he walked away.

[310] I don't know.

[311] I think that was it.

[312] He still working on it.

[313] All right, keep it to yourself, I guess.

[314] He's probably going to come back to you after he's ran some double -blind trials.

[315] Yeah, I'm sure he will.

[316] Yeah.

[317] Everyone's only have all his data.

[318] Now, do you think, though, London as far as if you have in your cells, Manhattan, New York, I feel like this would be the next closest thing in a weird way.

[319] Is that right or wrong?

[320] Yeah, I think so, yeah.

[321] Like, it's a highly, you're walking everywhere, people are speaking English, this...

[322] Yeah.

[323] Yeah, it's great.

[324] I mean, it's just a great, it's a great place.

[325] It's a great place.

[326] It's obviously distinctly different than New York in the sense that there are no. skyscrapers, with the exception of one area, right, for the most part.

[327] The architecture that's been preserved is staggering, especially considering that Hitler tried to destroy the city.

[328] They had way too many bombs, it turned out.

[329] In Germany, they had made too many bombs.

[330] We had to get rid of these bombs.

[331] Where should we dump them?

[332] London.

[333] We think we're going to lose, so, yeah.

[334] I have the utmost admiration.

[335] I think we all do for the notion that Londoners were just carrying on while that was happening.

[336] Staggering.

[337] In a significant percentage of this city was in ruins.

[338] Oh, yeah.

[339] There are these books that document every bomb where it was dropped, what time, what the damage was.

[340] And so you can go through the, and just sort of look in the neighborhoods and see, like, that house is gone.

[341] Oh, wow.

[342] That's why there's like a house that's built, like a post -war house next to these two, because it would just hit, like, one house and destroy it.

[343] It's really interesting.

[344] Oh, wow.

[345] Yeah.

[346] Wow.

[347] I mean, I know the answer, but I don't actually know where it is in relationship to New York City.

[348] But where did you grow up?

[349] I grew up in Westchester.

[350] So like an hour north of the city.

[351] Okay.

[352] And Westchester is a county.

[353] Westchester County, New York.

[354] New York State is huge.

[355] It is, yeah.

[356] I mean, you border Canada.

[357] You can drive for eight hours and still be in New York State from New York City.

[358] I mean, it's like fucking ridiculous.

[359] It's likely the size of England.

[360] Probably.

[361] I'm guessing.

[362] But it seems it's probably on par.

[363] And your father was an art teacher.

[364] Yeah.

[365] And your mother was a secretary and a writer.

[366] What did she write?

[367] Oh, no. That's a lie.

[368] That's a lie.

[369] Okay, great.

[370] She wrote a cookbook years later.

[371] We put together a cookbook.

[372] Well, this is like 23 years ago or something like that.

[373] Was that the first cookbook?

[374] That was, yes.

[375] So I sort of curated this cookbook with my parents and a chef and a guy who helped me on Big Night.

[376] And then years later, because it had gone.

[377] out of print and people wanted it, we reissued it.

[378] And then Felicity and I did a cookbook ourselves.

[379] Right.

[380] And now your third book, which we're here to talk about, is a memoir.

[381] Mm -hmm.

[382] Memoir?

[383] Mm -hmm.

[384] Okay.

[385] Spilunking.

[386] It's a memoir about spielunking.

[387] It's a memoir.

[388] It's a memoir about spielunking in the theater.

[389] Obviously, both parents are Italian and are they 100 %?

[390] Did you, have you done 23 and me to find out if this whole this whole persona you have is actually My parents did.

[391] They did.

[392] My dad came up basically all Italian, whatever that means.

[393] Yes.

[394] My mother came up over 50 % Arabic.

[395] No way.

[396] Which makes sense because if you think about, I mean, Italy was invaded and sort of taken over and controlled by so many different peoples over the centuries.

[397] And vice versa.

[398] And vice versa.

[399] There was a huge Arab influence, then a huge North African influence, then German influence, French influence, Spanish influence.

[400] And my mom, who is sort of fair -skinned, Auburn hair, and freckled, you're like...

[401] Yeah, that's weird.

[402] It's fascinating.

[403] Yeah.

[404] You haven't done it?

[405] Well, I guess you don't need to now.

[406] No, now I know what they are.

[407] I mean, I'm just some of that, you know, whatever that is.

[408] I was disappointed.

[409] What are you?

[410] Monica turned out to be 100 % pure.

[411] This, like, doesn't happen.

[412] Very pure Indian.

[413] She's pure.

[414] Pure Indian.

[415] 100%.

[416] It said 100%.

[417] That's amazing.

[418] I know.

[419] Isn't it?

[420] It also, I'm skeptical.

[421] though because who's a hundred percent anything you are well i will say if ever there were a culture that would lend itself to remaining a hundred percent since you're not out picking your lover and it's arranged you're not going to go find some arab as his mother's family did i guess some arab the british she can't say that in reference to your mom of course we can't talk about the arabs at large we're talking about a specific arab your mother an arab's not a swear word no it is just It's funny the way you say it, some Arab.

[422] That sounds scary, right?

[423] It's like when you say the word Spaniard.

[424] It's slightly derogatory.

[425] Why?

[426] It's not.

[427] I think because of the dog connection.

[428] What?

[429] A spaniard.

[430] Cocker Spaniel?

[431] No, I don't.

[432] Oh, Spaniel.

[433] I'm wrong.

[434] Okay, Spanke.

[435] That's still the same.

[436] That's still why.

[437] There's a dog.

[438] This entire episode is brought to you by Rosetta Stone.

[439] Rosetta Stone, if you'd love to learn a language and pronounce it correctly, start with Rosetta Stone.

[440] How many languages do you speak?

[441] It's just English and Italian.

[442] And Italian.

[443] And Italian.

[444] You do speak it fluently?

[445] No, no, hardly fluently.

[446] Okay.

[447] No, I used to speak it fluently when I was a kid.

[448] Pure, Arab, Indian.

[449] That makes sense, right?

[450] Do you think that's a good theory?

[451] Well, also, the Icelandic people are the most genetically pure people on Earth.

[452] Oh, they are?

[453] Yeah, because there are 12 of them.

[454] Right, and they've all just kept with each other.

[455] In fact, they have to be very careful.

[456] Oh, really, for, like, recessive genetic disorders?

[457] No, they do.

[458] They have to be very careful who they marry.

[459] Like, because they all, no, there's 300, there's about 365 ,000 of them.

[460] Right.

[461] Right.

[462] 125 ,000 of whom live in Reykjavik.

[463] And then the rest are sort of scattered around in little towns.

[464] Yeah.

[465] So they have to actually be really careful who they marry.

[466] Yeah.

[467] Do you have a favorite Icelandic person?

[468] I do.

[469] Let's go at three.

[470] Three, two, one.

[471] It's Icelandic person?

[472] Yeah.

[473] Three, two, one.

[474] New York.

[475] Yeah.

[476] Yeah.

[477] Yeah.

[478] You said it.

[479] I was going to say it.

[480] Yeah.

[481] I mean, she is kind of amazing.

[482] She's incredible.

[483] I was so, I fell in love to one of her CDs.

[484] Really?

[485] Have you ever fallen in love to a sharday?

[486] Jesus.

[487] I know.

[488] How's it going over there?

[489] It's not going well, as you can see.

[490] Generally, I'm a little, not much better.

[491] But you're jet -legged, because you just got here.

[492] Yeah.

[493] See, I takes me like, when I was, oh, fuck, and you came from L .A., it literally takes me like two weeks to get over it.

[494] To feel normal.

[495] Oh, it's awful.

[496] The other way, it's fine.

[497] Yeah.

[498] But this is like, I dread when I have to go again to somewhere.

[499] Yeah.

[500] That's that far away.

[501] I have a billionaire's fantasy.

[502] Yes.

[503] And it involves having a jet.

[504] And every two days I head west, three hours.

[505] Because I love when you fly to Hawaii from California and you get there and you're tired early.

[506] And then you wake up really early in the sunshine.

[507] And it's easy, which is hard for me. It's easy.

[508] And if you just kept moving every few days, three hours to the west, I think you could be in a perpetual state of that.

[509] Yeah.

[510] Would you want to join me?

[511] First of all, I think your carbon footprint would be huge.

[512] This is in an era where I'm creating hydrogen -fueled something.

[513] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[514] It runs on T -Rex skeletons.

[515] Yeah, I think you could do that.

[516] Yeah.

[517] I want to know how, can I get a vibe of how Italian your household was?

[518] Like, if I'm a kid and I have a sleepover at your house, you and I are friends.

[519] And then I come over, I would be met with like the smell.

[520] of Italian food and stuff.

[521] Oh, yeah.

[522] Very distinctly different than, like, going to my friend's houses.

[523] Yeah.

[524] It was.

[525] Well, there was no smell of any.

[526] Right.

[527] There wasn't a smell.

[528] Yeah.

[529] You walk into my parents' house, and it always smelled garlic, maybe?

[530] No, not, I don't know.

[531] It just smelled good.

[532] It could be tomato.

[533] It could be sausage.

[534] It could be, you know, when they were just cooking a chicken or something.

[535] You know, sauteing onions.

[536] I'm so jealous.

[537] Did you immediately love all of that?

[538] Or were you like, oh, I'm different?

[539] I guess I have that.

[540] She's projecting because she's Indian and she was nervous that people would smell Indian food and she'd be other.

[541] Did you feel like that?

[542] Oh, yeah.

[543] Even when we went to the Indian restaurant yesterday, I just have this like trigger of smelling the food and feeling like, oh my God, everyone hates this smell.

[544] No. I know.

[545] Is it that heartbreaking?

[546] The restaurant is packed.

[547] Everyone's so happy to be there.

[548] It's delicious.

[549] But I just have like, you get a little anxiety.

[550] So were your parents both cooks or?

[551] No, my mom and my grandmother.

[552] But I really avoided all of the food because I was really trying to be a very American.

[553] Were they from India?

[554] Oh, wow.

[555] But my mom moved when she was six.

[556] So she was also basically American.

[557] She has a robust southern accent, which is.

[558] Oh, she does.

[559] Yeah.

[560] She grew up in Savannah.

[561] And so she was a great.

[562] Great cook, and she cooks Indian food all the time for my dad and her.

[563] But then I'd ask for, like, the grilled cheese or the scrambled eggs.

[564] It was a missed opportunity, but I was not allowing kids to come over after she made a meal like that.

[565] Yeah, no. Well, it is a very distinct, I mean, the...

[566] It is.

[567] Aromas.

[568] I'm not going to say smells.

[569] The stank.

[570] The stank.

[571] No, but those, I mean, that is a very distinct aromas.

[572] It is.

[573] Yeah.

[574] The amount of spices.

[575] And kids are harsh.

[576] Yeah.

[577] Even like their kids.

[578] Oh God, it was making me so nervous.

[579] Well, I don't care.

[580] Well, it makes me nervous.

[581] Well, I have a six -year -old and an eight -year -old.

[582] And we've already run into some situations where I've got to educate them.

[583] I found out why people don't educate their kids because it's very uncomfortable and you know they're going to feel really guilty.

[584] Like we were watching the opening, mind you, they've grown up their whole life with Monica.

[585] They love her like they love my sister.

[586] In fact, my youngest is that they're soulmates.

[587] They're best, best friends.

[588] But they're not born with the knowledge of how to.

[589] navigate someone's brown and they're white.

[590] So often, even though they grew up, we're watching the Olympics as a big group, the opening ceremony.

[591] And when the Indian team came out, my eight -year -old keeps going, Monica, there's your boyfriend.

[592] Monica is your boyfriend.

[593] Yeah.

[594] And I'm growing increasingly self -conscious about this whole experience.

[595] I don't want to stop her right now because I know she'll get super embarrassed.

[596] Right.

[597] Right.

[598] So then I wait a day.

[599] Then I, everything's going good.

[600] And I just bring up and I say, I want you to imagine that you had all black friends and you were at their house.

[601] And every time a white person came on TV, they looked at you and said, there's your boyfriend.

[602] Can you imagine how you would feel?

[603] She immediately starts crying.

[604] She's devastated with guilt.

[605] She recognizes what she did.

[606] And I'm sitting there like, I wanted to tell her that that's fine.

[607] But of course, it's not.

[608] Anyways, and I'm like, oh, this is why people don't do it because you know they're going to feel guilty if they get it.

[609] But it's necessary.

[610] It is necessary.

[611] It is necessary.

[612] It is a really hard thing.

[613] Like, if someone is walking by and it's an adult and they're very short.

[614] There's a woman who's on our block somewhere and she's incredibly small.

[615] Yeah.

[616] And Mateo, but you know, they have no editing facility.

[617] Because it's not bad to be so, yeah, no. There's no hatred around it.

[618] They go, my God, that lady's so small.

[619] Yeah.

[620] You know, and you're just like, but with a British accent, you know, and you're just, which sort of makes it worse for somebody, you know.

[621] You know, oh, like, oh, Daddy, that woman is as small as I am.

[622] That does sound way worse.

[623] Yeah, and you go, and you go, shish, shh, shh, shat.

[624] You little aristocratic, shit.

[625] I'm like, Mateo, stop it.

[626] Because what?

[627] I said, honey, you can't.

[628] Yes, she's a small.

[629] Why is she so small?

[630] You know, I don't know why she's small, but you can't just say it out loud.

[631] You just can't.

[632] Oh, all right.

[633] But it is hard to tell them that, to say, like, you just can't.

[634] Because they're like, no, but why?

[635] What is the reason?

[636] It's tricky.

[637] One of my most clear memories of this happening is Aaron and I were, my best friend from childhood, we were 13, his dad took us to this motel, and he had a younger brother that was probably four, and the man checking us in was very large.

[638] And the four -year -old looked at his dad very earnestly, and he said, Dad, is that a fatso?

[639] Jesus.

[640] And I was like, we were all like, oh.

[641] Jesus.

[642] Oh, my God, what do we all do now?

[643] Yeah.

[644] Oh, my God.

[645] I know.

[646] Okay, back to being Italian.

[647] Yeah.

[648] So, but you embraced it from the beginning.

[649] Oh, yeah.

[650] It was just the way it was.

[651] Also, if you eat the food that I grew up with, and then you go to the neighbor's houses and eat their food.

[652] You're like hamburger helper.

[653] What's that about?

[654] Yeah.

[655] Well, that's gross.

[656] Franco -American spaghettios.

[657] Yeah.

[658] That's Italian.

[659] Yeah, for a lot of people.

[660] Yeah, especially in those days.

[661] Yeah.

[662] Right?

[663] Nowadays, people have a sort of slightly better idea.

[664] You grew up and I grew up at the apex of, like, This processed food thing is awesome.

[665] It stays good forever.

[666] Like, we really were in the dark at that point.

[667] It seemed just convenient with no price tag.

[668] Yeah.

[669] I mean, anything made by Kraft, which was...

[670] Not a sponsor and probably won't be now.

[671] Thanks a lot.

[672] Thanks, Stanley.

[673] I guess I'm not going to fly West every two hours.

[674] No, no, you're not.

[675] That billion dollars is getting smaller and smaller.

[676] I'm going to do a sidebar right now.

[677] now.

[678] And I predicted this would happen.

[679] And it happened.

[680] And I was enjoying it.

[681] And I was trying to tell myself, stay out of everyone's way.

[682] So you engaged Monica in this very beautiful way.

[683] And you were very interested.

[684] And she was opening up to you.

[685] And it all was coming together.

[686] Because I got to tell you when my wife worked with you on burlesque, what I heard over and over again at home was Stanley's so sexy.

[687] What?

[688] And shut the fuck up for one second.

[689] Because I got to roll this whole thing out for you.

[690] So then I read two articles about you today.

[691] And within both articles.

[692] Yeah.

[693] London Times and CNN they don't use the word sexy CNN they're not allowed to use the word sexy The fucking word sexy is in the CNN interview it is and it is twice in the first paragraph of the London fucking times they don't even repeat words in the London times yeah they know not to they don't we just said that good writing yeah it's fuck good writing yeah we have to tell the truth sexy was yeah listen to me Stanley yeah nobody has the word sexy in the first paragraph twice other than like Brad Pitt and a couple of others.

[694] It's true.

[695] It's true, I guess.

[696] And then I was like, okay, my wife thinks he's sexy as a motherfucker.

[697] The London Times thinks he's sexy as a motherfucker.

[698] See an animal people.

[699] Ted Turner thinks you're sexy.

[700] Yeah.

[701] He flies west a lot.

[702] Yeah.

[703] And so what I knew was this gentleman is engaging and piercing and connective.

[704] Have you ever thought about your attraction while you're attractive?

[705] I mean, no, it sounds like a very arrogant thing to answer.

[706] See, but I wear clothes well.

[707] I'll say that.

[708] And you smell great.

[709] No, you do when I was walking behind you up the stairs.

[710] I was on the verge of telling you over.

[711] Did you smell?

[712] Glad you didn't because I wouldn't have stayed.

[713] I don't know.

[714] I'm glad that people feel that way.

[715] I mean, it's great.

[716] Hopefully they'll tell my wife and that would be good.

[717] You know, that'd be helpful.

[718] But when you look at yourself, you don't see yourself.

[719] Yeah, I look at myself.

[720] I'm like, I just see like, now I see like an old guy.

[721] Yeah.

[722] Do you know what I mean?

[723] you see a photo of yourself, you're like, holy shit.

[724] How did that happen?

[725] Yeah, but men are sexier, the older they get.

[726] That's real.

[727] But there are a lot of women who are really sexy at my age.

[728] I think so too.

[729] Increasingly.

[730] I think our culture is like finally embracing that, and we're getting the memo, like, oh, yeah.

[731] Yeah, like, Judy Dench, I would kill the gopher around.

[732] Jesus.

[733] Yeah, I would really ruin everything for a little roll around.

[734] She is beautiful woman, Judy.

[735] She is, beautiful.

[736] Yeah.

[737] I wasn't an athlete.

[738] You were.

[739] You played soccer.

[740] Yeah, I played soccer.

[741] Yeah.

[742] I was dyslexic, so I wasn't crushing it in school.

[743] Where I got all my self -esteem was, I could chat with girls.

[744] I was someone in junior high.

[745] I would call you on the phone and I talked to you for four hours.

[746] And no other boys were doing that.

[747] And so I really propped up my whole self -esteem, my entire life from being able to talk to women, charm women, yeah.

[748] And feeling ugly.

[749] So feeling ugly and thinking, well, I can't get this person.

[750] And maybe I could talk my way into this.

[751] And yeah.

[752] Would you have consider yourself like a Rueh.

[753] Was that a Lothario?

[754] Yeah.

[755] What's a Rueh.

[756] Like that, a Lothario, like a, like a Don Juan.

[757] Oh, my God.

[758] Well, I imagine Don Juan feels handsome.

[759] So whatever version, Jack Nicholson, how about that?

[760] Yeah.

[761] Like, here's Jack Nicholson.

[762] This guy's not conventionally good looking at all.

[763] No, no, not at all.

[764] And he might be the sexiest man to ever be on film.

[765] Yeah, it's weird.

[766] It's so.

[767] Because it's authenticity, which you have, you have, he has.

[768] You have.

[769] Thank you.

[770] Humor, ironing.

[771] Yeah.

[772] Those helped, right?

[773] Definitely.

[774] Oh my God, cooking.

[775] Cooking's a panty dropper.

[776] Seriously.

[777] Yeah, your show, your show is so sexy.

[778] Oh, my God.

[779] Jesus, you used it.

[780] Sorry, I did it, I did it, but I had to be used.

[781] Because so much is happening.

[782] Oh, I loved it.

[783] Really?

[784] Loved it.

[785] And I would like rewatch episodes because it weren't enough.

[786] Oh, thank you.

[787] I'm making more.

[788] I'm making more.

[789] There's a second season.

[790] Okay, please.

[791] Yeah, because I would eat and watch it.

[792] And it was just like, It was very sensual.

[793] Oh, my God.

[794] Oh, good.

[795] I'm glad.

[796] It's a beautiful show.

[797] Thank you.

[798] And did you just have the best time shooting that?

[799] Well, sometimes.

[800] I'll be honest.

[801] It's hard.

[802] Yeah.

[803] It's hard because you're going to sound really stupid.

[804] But you're eating and drinking all day.

[805] Yeah.

[806] At the end of the day, you're like, you're ill. Yeah.

[807] And you're just like, and you're trying to talk in two languages, neither of which you can speak very well.

[808] Right.

[809] So you're just sort of like, oh, blah, blah.

[810] So by the end.

[811] end of the day, you're like, you're so tired, but then you think, we'll have to go eat dinner.

[812] So you go out to dinner, but you don't want to talk to anyone because you're so tired of talking.

[813] So I would go, my assistant was with me. She's now one of the producers on the show, too.

[814] And we would just go, and it was like a sad, married couple that, you know what I mean?

[815] You're like, but of course, she's 30 years younger than I am.

[816] So you're just wondering what people are thinking.

[817] Like, what is that couple?

[818] Yes.

[819] Like, they're not talking to it.

[820] They're both so tired that they're not talking.

[821] They look miserable.

[822] As it, father -daughter, can't be.

[823] She's five foot nine and blonde.

[824] Uh -huh.

[825] And you think, no, the father -daughter is the corner.

[826] That woman's enormous.

[827] Why she's doing that?

[828] Why is she so big?

[829] Oh, haze, so long.

[830] Oh, my gosh.

[831] So you're tired.

[832] But that said, there were so many moments that were amazing.

[833] And now we're about to enter into it again, that it'll be more efficient.

[834] Because sometimes it's, like, expanded time.

[835] time -wise, and you were traveling, you were in a different hotel almost every other day.

[836] Oh, wow.

[837] And that was, like, really hard to do.

[838] But you love packing and unpacking.

[839] Oh, my God, what fun.

[840] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[841] What fun, yeah.

[842] So this time we're basically basing ourselves in, I said we're going to base ourselves in a region.

[843] Yeah.

[844] And all the stories have to be, like, within a couple hour drive or something like that.

[845] That's great.

[846] Because it's just, it's more efficient.

[847] You can get more done.

[848] You can spend more time with the people that you're talking to.

[849] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[850] And really have a little more content.

[851] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[852] We've all been there.

[853] Turning to the internet to self -diagnose our inexplicable pains, debilitating body aches, sudden fevers, and strange rashes.

[854] Though our minds tend to spiral to worst -case scenarios, it's usually nothing.

[855] But for an unlucky few, these unsuspecting symptoms can start the clock ticking on a terrifying medical mystery.

[856] like the unexplainable death of a retired firefighter whose body was found at home by his son, except it looked like he had been cremated, or the time when an entire town started jumping from buildings and seeing tigers on their ceilings.

[857] Hey listeners, it's Mr. Ballin here, and I'm here to tell you about my podcast.

[858] It's called Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries.

[859] Each terrifying true story will be sure to keep you up at night.

[860] Follow Mr. Ballin's Medical Mysteries wherever you get your podcasts.

[861] Prime members can listen early and listen.

[862] and ad -free on Amazon music.

[863] What's up, guys?

[864] It's your girl, Kiki, and my podcast is back with a new season, and let me tell you, it's too good.

[865] And I'm diving into the brains of entertainment's best and brightest, okay?

[866] Every episode, I bring on a friend and have a real conversation.

[867] And I don't mean just friends.

[868] I mean the likes of Amy Polar, Kell Mitchell, Vivica Fox, the list goes on.

[869] So follow, watch, and listen to Baby.

[870] This is Kiki Palmer on the Wondery app, or wherever you get your podcast.

[871] I feel like I have an experience in life that perfectly parallels yours doing this show, which is I'm now a host of Top Gear.

[872] Oh, my God.

[873] And so my whole life has been motorsports.

[874] So there was a moment this year.

[875] We were all in Sedona.

[876] We were filming at this flat track in Phoenix.

[877] And yeah, they said, like, do you think you could drift the car on the whole track?

[878] And I said, oh, yeah, all day long.

[879] And then we shot that.

[880] And then when I left, I thought, my life made sense for the first time ever.

[881] Like, from this vantage point, it's as if I, that made all these decisions that would eventually lead up to me being an improv artist who has to be a host, who also can drift a car on a track.

[882] Right, right.

[883] And I thought this seems to make perfect sense.

[884] When I read about you doing this show, I thought, I feel like that's similar.

[885] Yeah, it is.

[886] It's what I was supposed to do.

[887] Yeah.

[888] You know what I mean?

[889] It's an idea that I've had for like 13 years.

[890] Break Italy down region by region and really sort of explore it as much as one can explore it within a 43 -minute time period.

[891] And to show the diversity of the food, of the geography, to show the diversity of the people, to show how invasions and how all that stuff sort of.

[892] So it's something I've always wanted to do.

[893] And I'm glad that it happened now as opposed to sooner because I know more now.

[894] You mean in life?

[895] Yeah.

[896] And I know more about food than I certainly did then.

[897] And I'm just more mature, I suppose.

[898] And it's better.

[899] But it really is like what I was supposed to do.

[900] And I didn't know I was going to be doing it as much as I'm doing it.

[901] It's cool.

[902] Do you think part of it, what you're saying about being mature, is a product of, I know I'm experiencing this, which is like the first chunk of my life was like tunnel vision of all these goals.

[903] Yes.

[904] Yes.

[905] And I'm so important in this thing.

[906] And the only time period that exists is the day I'm in.

[907] And then as those fears erode and I feel safe and comfortable, I start kind of thinking broader.

[908] Yeah.

[909] And then it's going like, oh, I'm a part of it.

[910] of history.

[911] Oh, what is that history?

[912] Oh, why don't we do anything?

[913] Like, do you think maybe the lack of attention on oneself is what allows one to kind of start really enjoying?

[914] Yes, I think so, and that really is what maturity is.

[915] Yeah, I guess I just define maturity.

[916] No, you did.

[917] No, you did, but that's what it is.

[918] It's like a kid who only sees, you know, they're myopic.

[919] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[920] It's like, we were talking about that point.

[921] There's a short woman, there's a heavyset guy, and they go, that person's very fast.

[922] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[923] And you're like, first of all, you're screaming, okay?

[924] Why?

[925] Second of all, do you think they can't hear you?

[926] Right.

[927] It's like the kid who plays hide and seek and they go, okay, and they hide right there.

[928] Yeah.

[929] And they think that you can't see them.

[930] Or I'll close my eyes and you can't see me. Every single child will do it.

[931] No matter how smart they are, no matter what.

[932] And so it's just that world.

[933] But as we mature, that doesn't happen.

[934] So it allows you to see the broader picture.

[935] I mean, for me, directing was like, directing really changed my life in that way.

[936] However, then I became myopic in sort of my technique or this idea that I had about how I was supposed to direct something and what I really wanted.

[937] And I ended up shooting myself in the foot a lot of the time.

[938] What were you always reaching for audaciously?

[939] Less coverage.

[940] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[941] This will play in one.

[942] You're like, no, it doesn't.

[943] Some of them do.

[944] But sometimes you're like, I don't have a close up of that.

[945] And the editor goes, you're an idiot.

[946] That's why.

[947] So getting rid of that, those dogmatic ways of thinking, I would never have been able to do this show then.

[948] Because I can see things where I go like, I can't have control over that, so I'm going to let it go.

[949] I don't know how to do that, so I'm not going to try to do it.

[950] But I can see the bigger picture, and I understand the tone, and I know what I want, and I'm able to express it.

[951] That, too, is maturity, too, because I've directed, you've done three movies?

[952] Five.

[953] Jesus, I'm sorry.

[954] I wanted it to be three because I've done three.

[955] I want to be up here.

[956] Anyways, yeah, I think a lot of the endeavor initially can be, you're trying to define yourself as a filmmaker.

[957] Yeah.

[958] Right?

[959] So you're like, oh, my aesthetic is that, it's really still about you.

[960] Yeah.

[961] Yeah.

[962] And then I think as your life defined you, you no longer really need to do it so pedantically everywhere else.

[963] Right.

[964] Right.

[965] Like, you're now you.

[966] Like, if anyone, I was even thinking about this as I was researching you, often in interviews I'd have to talk about your certain projects, but you've reached that kind of just ubiquitous thing where it's like, oh, I don't need to tell anyone who Stanley Tucci is you're yourself and we all know that.

[967] Maybe you could pick four movies or maybe I pick two or maybe pick the show.

[968] And that is weird.

[969] I mean, it is weird that that's where I am.

[970] Because it suddenly occurred to me in the last few weeks that that is where I am.

[971] Yeah, no one says, what's he from?

[972] Yeah.

[973] Like everyone knows at least one or two, yeah.

[974] It's nice.

[975] And I made a joke that with this show, with the CNN show, has sort of pushed everything over the edge and making a cocktail on Instagram.

[976] Oh, yeah.

[977] Completely altered my life.

[978] It's so crazy.

[979] Like to the point where I'm like, wait a minute.

[980] Okay.

[981] So I've done 70, 90 fucking movies.

[982] Yeah.

[983] I've done countless television shows, plays.

[984] You can have, do it a minute.

[985] You make one cocktail.

[986] I was going to compare it to Carson.

[987] It's basically like going on Carson in the 80s where it's like you go on as a complete stranger and the next be famous to 16 million people.

[988] Yes.

[989] And then your life has changed completely.

[990] And then you have to sustain it, of course.

[991] And in this economy, you need a new fucking cocktail video like once a week.

[992] Yeah, I know.

[993] You need to go on Carson once a week now.

[994] I know.

[995] Yeah, exactly.

[996] Exactly.

[997] It's so weird.

[998] For folks don't know, imagining someone didn't see the cocktail, you made a beautiful cocktail for your wife.

[999] And you shook it up like a general.

[1000] and then you poured it and you took a sip and it looked delicious.

[1001] Yeah, it was delicious.

[1002] It was beautiful.

[1003] Yeah, yeah.

[1004] Yeah, but it is weird.

[1005] It's weird.

[1006] And the thing is, all I had to do all this time trying to be other people as an action.

[1007] Like, all I had to do is be myself.

[1008] Yeah.

[1009] Yes, that's a long.

[1010] So weird.

[1011] It is.

[1012] Well, right now especially, that's what everyone wants.

[1013] I mean, with social media and stuff, they want the most curated version of you.

[1014] Mm -hmm.

[1015] Yeah.

[1016] Yeah, because you certainly have made some drinks that didn't go that well.

[1017] Oh, yeah.

[1018] Yeah, yeah.

[1019] Yeah, and you didn't post those.

[1020] We did one the other day.

[1021] I don't know when she's going to post it, but I just fucked it up.

[1022] You know, a couple of times.

[1023] And it's so fun.

[1024] Like, you can't help, but we start laughing.

[1025] Then we go like, okay, we're back.

[1026] We're going to try it again.

[1027] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1028] I know it's fun.

[1029] Like, if you get hung up on that notion of like, why am I doing this?

[1030] Then you're off in the wrong foot.

[1031] But if you think about it as like, oh, I like to perform, here's a camera.

[1032] Why don't I perform it for them?

[1033] That's what I enjoy doing.

[1034] Yeah, because when my assistant, she goes, Stanley, And she writes it in the diary, that social media filming.

[1035] And I go, do we really have to?

[1036] Of course, well, and now I actually have a, I'm working with a company now.

[1037] So I actually have to post stuff for them.

[1038] Right.

[1039] But then I also just do it just to do it.

[1040] She's like, yes, you have to.

[1041] People really want to see it.

[1042] You need to do it.

[1043] I'm like, really?

[1044] And then I'm like moaning and whatever, of course.

[1045] As soon as she puts up her camera, her phone, I'm interested.

[1046] I'm like, hello.

[1047] Oh.

[1048] Sounds speeds.

[1049] Here's my personal health.

[1050] He just arrived.

[1051] Oh, my God, that's great.

[1052] But you know, once the camera rolls, you can be so tired.

[1053] You can be in your trailer.

[1054] You'd be like, oh, I'm so tired.

[1055] I can't do it.

[1056] And they go like action.

[1057] You go, the other day.

[1058] You know, you're like, absolutely.

[1059] Absolutely.

[1060] Well, in fact, mine's even deeper.

[1061] I'll be laying next to my wife in bed, and she's like, she's very active on Instagram.

[1062] I'm less so.

[1063] Right.

[1064] She's fucking watching people's videos.

[1065] She's, like, posting and writing text.

[1066] and creating the whole thing.

[1067] And the whole time it's happening.

[1068] I'm annoyed.

[1069] I think it's stupid.

[1070] I'm judgmental.

[1071] It's vapid.

[1072] Yeah.

[1073] And then she turns the camera on me because I'm in bed doing something silly.

[1074] And then in my mind, I'm like, oh, I bet she's going to post this.

[1075] And then I put on a show.

[1076] Yeah.

[1077] And then I love it.

[1078] I love putting on a show.

[1079] Yeah.

[1080] Yeah.

[1081] I'm such a hypocrite.

[1082] Same thing.

[1083] My wife, who really knows how to use her phone unlike me. And she's doing all that.

[1084] She's looking at this.

[1085] I go, what are you watching?

[1086] What is that?

[1087] Yeah, yeah, who is that?

[1088] Why aren't you focusing on me?

[1089] Who is that?

[1090] Yeah.

[1091] I mean, I know I'm just laying here, doing nothing, waiting for your attention.

[1092] She knows it.

[1093] And then she'll be like, I think you should post whatever.

[1094] I go, no, stupid, I want to do that.

[1095] And then I do it.

[1096] You know, she goes, you have 100 ,000 more followers.

[1097] I go, I do.

[1098] Oh, it's our human brains.

[1099] Anyone famous?

[1100] We're all susceptible.

[1101] Who's verified?

[1102] Let me ring some of the comments.

[1103] Oh, my God.

[1104] What a trap it is.

[1105] It is.

[1106] Back to your show.

[1107] So the other day we were on set, and I was like, if I were to put a graph to the experience of shooting this show, it's basically like this.

[1108] It's just flat, flat line, flat line, traveling, shitty, no trailers.

[1109] Everything sucks.

[1110] We don't have the location.

[1111] And then driving the car.

[1112] 28.

[1113] Like, we're a lot of smash this thing and jump in.

[1114] No one gives a shit.

[1115] And then back to fucking.

[1116] Yeah.

[1117] What are they shooting beauties for how long?

[1118] Yeah.

[1119] No one gives a fuck about the hubcaps of the, you know, angry, angry, and then back in the car, so I was imagining, like, when I was watching your show, I was like, when you're eating, man, and when you're chatting and it's on, but then all the sausage that it takes to make a show like that to make it look beautiful and all that, that's got it.

[1120] It's hard.

[1121] It's probably a similar.

[1122] It is.

[1123] No, it is.

[1124] It's a lot of like, okay, where are we going?

[1125] We're going to go here.

[1126] Okay.

[1127] How far away is it?

[1128] Yeah.

[1129] You know, is it?

[1130] And does it really have to be?

[1131] It's six in the morning.

[1132] Do you know what I mean?

[1133] Yeah.

[1134] All the negotiations.

[1135] Yeah.

[1136] Yes, Stanley, it does.

[1137] All right, all right.

[1138] Yeah.

[1139] And then you get there and you talk to the people and it's like, great.

[1140] You taste the food.

[1141] You're like, this is amazing.

[1142] I mean, it really does depend, too, on who's directing it.

[1143] So you need somebody who understands it and who is efficient.

[1144] Because to me, efficiency is incredibly important in filmmaking.

[1145] It really is.

[1146] It's kind of the morale of the movie.

[1147] Well, yeah.

[1148] And it is.

[1149] And it's not at the expense of creativity.

[1150] Totally right.

[1151] I mean, if you look at Sydney Lemette's films, look at the way they were shot.

[1152] He shoots them like, look at Clint Eastwood's movies.

[1153] Look at, I mean, these guys are like.

[1154] Soderberg.

[1155] Yeah.

[1156] Three take people.

[1157] On his fucking iPhone, he made that amazing, weird movie with the woman in the mental institution.

[1158] Was it Claire Foy who was in it?

[1159] I can't remember.

[1160] Oh, my God.

[1161] It's shot on his phone.

[1162] Oh, my God.

[1163] Of course he did.

[1164] It's incredible.

[1165] Yeah, he's insane.

[1166] That's amazing stuff.

[1167] And I just think that it's one of the reasons that, not that I don't want to work, I want to work, but I just don't want to wait around as well.

[1168] Yes.

[1169] Even when we're doing this thing, I'm like, okay, wait, now, we're going to go to the thing and then we're going to talk to the guy and then we're going home, right?

[1170] We're not going to do any, if you need to get extra shots, if you need to get close -ups of the thing, I'm not going to be there.

[1171] Why don't you shoot all those before I get there?

[1172] Yeah, that'll buy me another hour or something.

[1173] And that's where we have this director now is really wonderful.

[1174] And, yeah.

[1175] Okay, so here's a great question, because it's not often that I have the capital and things I do.

[1176] Like if I was on the show, Parenthood, you know, I'm probably the fifth most important person there, right?

[1177] It was so great.

[1178] And then often in movies, I'm the fifth.

[1179] Yeah.

[1180] On this show, I'm the guy.

[1181] So I'm in a position that you're in.

[1182] And I wonder how you police yourself.

[1183] So I do have this theory like, we all desire no rules virtually.

[1184] We desire everyone to agree with every person.

[1185] creative decision we have and that's the dream right i know there's a threshold of my creative ideas are great great great and then i'm just fucking lazy and i'm probably ruining this show and it's very hard to pinpoint that for me yeah yeah it is well that's like what i was talking about before is that you i realized that there's a couple of movies that i've made that work the other ones don't work okay wow that's so huge thing and they don't work because i wasn't able to police myself properly.

[1186] And I had latitude on every movie I made.

[1187] Well, you made some independence, which...

[1188] They were all independence, and one was made for Fox Search Life, but they were incredibly generous with me. They didn't, I was, it was really terrible.

[1189] I mean, they never should have been.

[1190] Because I wasn't, I had this idea of how I was going to shoot it, and that fucked it.

[1191] And it's really, really a shame.

[1192] So, yeah, I know what you mean.

[1193] Now that I'm more mature, I'm able to go.

[1194] So, yeah, I don't know.

[1195] What do you think?

[1196] To me, those are the three most important words a director can say.

[1197] I don't know.

[1198] Yeah.

[1199] That's hard to say.

[1200] I think a person.

[1201] A person can say.

[1202] Yeah.

[1203] And it doesn't mean you're stupid.

[1204] It doesn't mean you don't have ideas, but it means that you want to engage.

[1205] Because film is a collaborative art. And if we surround ourselves with the right people, I don't mean just yes people, but people who are equally passionate about the project and about what they do.

[1206] do if you do that you're going to have you're going to create something really beautiful together yeah and that's the exciting part of it especially as you get older i think well and it's okay too to because i think i struggled to when i was directing i had heroes who directed and i knew i collected their methodology kind of as i'm sure you do yeah yeah yeah and it was actually an interview i read was Soderberg, who kind of, I felt like, liberated me to be who I wanted to be in that direction, which is, it's great that there's so many different.

[1207] Like, I love that David Fincher is making a movie that I don't even think a computer could make as perfectly.

[1208] Like, the precision by which he, Christopher Nolan, some of these people make movies, is insane.

[1209] I don't want to be in those movies because I don't have that patience.

[1210] I don't have the bandwidth for that.

[1211] But I respect it and I'm so glad he's making that.

[1212] Right.

[1213] I like, and I feel like you have a similar vibe, especially with Big Nuff, is like, I like when the unexpected happened and we actually caught it.

[1214] I like being a little bit lost and trying to find my way.

[1215] I feel like that's when something.

[1216] And that's just what I like.

[1217] I can do that without insecurity that it doesn't look like Finchers, but it took me a while.

[1218] It can't.

[1219] I mean, and that's where you want to get to.

[1220] But the only way you can get there, I think, is fucking up.

[1221] Fucking up.

[1222] No, but also a lot of preparation.

[1223] There has to be a lot of preparation in order to find.

[1224] the place where suddenly accidents happen.

[1225] Okay?

[1226] Do you know what I do?

[1227] I do.

[1228] Because then you know what to do with them.

[1229] It's like ideally you want to get to the point when you're painting or when you're doing whatever that you can think like a child, that you can paint like a child.

[1230] Like I look at some of the stuff that my kids do, I think, God, I wish I could do that.

[1231] Yeah.

[1232] I wish I could do that.

[1233] I'm like obsessed with that incredible freedom.

[1234] Those accidents, they're beautiful.

[1235] And can I say specifically the thing I covet from my children's imagination is like the way they draw people.

[1236] Yeah.

[1237] I can see it.

[1238] They're all like kind, happy, beautiful people.

[1239] Like, and when I can see what they think in some way, when I draw people, they have like fucking moles and they're gnarly and they got a broken hand.

[1240] You know, whatever.

[1241] They're how I think of people now is beat down and broken.

[1242] Yeah.

[1243] Yeah.

[1244] It's really sweet.

[1245] You can only get that with shrooms as an adult.

[1246] Yeah.

[1247] Do you ever do much?

[1248] Have you done mushrooms?

[1249] No. You've never done that.

[1250] No, I don't.

[1251] I'm not a drug.

[1252] No. No. Can I postulate?

[1253] Yeah.

[1254] So you're very articulate.

[1255] You're very charming.

[1256] This is your superpower.

[1257] So if you get yourself on this substance that's going to potentially take away your ability to navigate a conversation.

[1258] Yeah.

[1259] What do you happen?

[1260] Yeah, you got nothing.

[1261] Yeah.

[1262] Maybe you could draw a picture, though.

[1263] I can draw.

[1264] Yeah.

[1265] I can draw.

[1266] Yeah.

[1267] I can draw.

[1268] I can.

[1269] I can.

[1270] I draw.

[1271] I can.

[1272] I can.

[1273] I. I can.

[1274] I. I can.

[1275] I. I. I can.

[1276] I. I draw a picture of a mushroom.

[1277] Yeah, exactly.

[1278] But that's about as far as I go.

[1279] I'm not, I mean, if were marijuana legal, but I wouldn't.

[1280] It's not legal here?

[1281] No. Oh, it's not.

[1282] No, it's not.

[1283] I was smelling it like crazy.

[1284] No, no, no. Yeah, it's just a staff here.

[1285] Okay.

[1286] But for certain things, it's fine.

[1287] But drugs, to me, I never had any interest in them, partly because they don't taste like anything.

[1288] Do you know what I mean?

[1289] To me, if you're going to have a drink, you're going to enjoy a drink.

[1290] You're going to enjoy a glass of wine.

[1291] Yeah.

[1292] But if it's shitty wine or cheap booze, I don't want it.

[1293] Right.

[1294] I really don't want it.

[1295] It's not for the purpose of getting drunk.

[1296] No. It's for the experience.

[1297] Yeah.

[1298] So to me, it's about tasting.

[1299] Yeah.

[1300] That's perfect.

[1301] That brings me to one of my great fascinations with you, which is you love food.

[1302] You've dedicated a good portion of your life to learning about it, preparing it, and enjoying it.

[1303] And you drink.

[1304] You make cocktails on.

[1305] Instagram.

[1306] You're very thin and in shape.

[1307] And I've never read that you've gone to treatments.

[1308] You have the most rare element in my mind, which is, it seems like you moderate.

[1309] Can you moderate as a human being?

[1310] You can.

[1311] Yeah.

[1312] Yeah.

[1313] Wow.

[1314] Yeah.

[1315] I can moderate and I love it.

[1316] But it's also the way I grew up, but you drink, but you're eating when you're drinking.

[1317] Yeah.

[1318] Right.

[1319] So it's very different than a lot of cultures where certain cultures is just drinking.

[1320] You know what I mean?

[1321] It's just like.

[1322] Yeah, Russia, yeah, of course.

[1323] The appetizer is a fifth of vodka.

[1324] I mean, America, I think, at this point.

[1325] A lot of America.

[1326] Yeah, but you should go to Russia.

[1327] You sit down at the table and we went and I thought, oh, these are water bottles.

[1328] By the way, this was back when I drank, which was fantastic.

[1329] There was like a water bottle every four people at this big hall.

[1330] It was vodka.

[1331] It was all vodka.

[1332] Wow.

[1333] And me and my family got annihilated at 1130 a .m. And then ate some weird Russian food hours.

[1334] later that we couldn't taste because we were all hammered.

[1335] So in a weird way, it might be a great hack.

[1336] If your food isn't awesome, maybe you've got to get hammered before you eat it.

[1337] Yeah, that'll make it better.

[1338] Was it borsh?

[1339] Yes.

[1340] All I have is vodka in my belly.

[1341] That'll do.

[1342] Yeah, but I think it's also just a part of the, it's a part of Italian culture.

[1343] Mm -hmm.

[1344] That you have wine with your meal.

[1345] Yeah.

[1346] That you have an appetivo, that you have a digestivo afterwards.

[1347] It's just part of it.

[1348] It's just the way it was done.

[1349] I mean, when you make a movie, and I write about it in the book that when you make a movie, they come to you in Italy and they say, you know, they ask for your lunch order.

[1350] They don't go, what do you want for lunch?

[1351] They go white or red.

[1352] And you go, I'll have white, which means you're going to get a piece of fish or a piece of chicken and a bottle of wine, a small bottle of wine.

[1353] If you say red, they're going to bring you a piece of meat.

[1354] And a little bottle of red wine.

[1355] Like you get on an airplane.

[1356] Okay.

[1357] Same it in France.

[1358] Yeah.

[1359] It's just part of it.

[1360] Can I pitch you an episode idea?

[1361] Yeah.

[1362] Because I found this to be one of the coolest things I ever witnessed.

[1363] So as a gearhead, when I was in Italy, I went to Bologna and I toured the Decati factory, which in itself would be a great place to shoot because I was expecting to get there and see some big glistening factory.

[1364] And it's just two old brick warehouses.

[1365] And you think there's no way they're making all these motorcycles in these two brick warehouses.

[1366] And sure not if you go inside and they are.

[1367] But the thing that would be cool for a show, and maybe you've already done it like this, but all the workers break for lunch, and they go into this beautiful cafeteria, and there's beautiful food, and they all drink wine, and I was there for that.

[1368] And I was like, this is unfathomable for an American.

[1369] Imagine letting, like, the UAW take a break.

[1370] Yeah.

[1371] And there's beer on tap and spare ribs.

[1372] Good luck getting them back.

[1373] Yeah, they'll never come back.

[1374] No way.

[1375] Guys are going to be doing Coke in the bathroom.

[1376] Well, they used to be, you know, but here in England, there used to be on the studios.

[1377] There was Ealing studios.

[1378] which is not far from here, which is one of the oldest studios.

[1379] I rehearsed there once, like 20 years ago, but for this thing, we were in the middle of the studio.

[1380] It was a pub, and you would go to the pub.

[1381] All the studios had pubs.

[1382] They don't have them anymore.

[1383] So in between, like, setups, you go and drop up?

[1384] No, no, you would break for lunch, and the guys would go have a pint or whatever.

[1385] You'd have that after you work.

[1386] But it was part of everything.

[1387] And then eventually they stopped doing it here.

[1388] People were wrapped in cars around trees when they left.

[1389] There's always an asshole like me that ruins it from them.

[1390] Lights were falling, you know.

[1391] Who knows?

[1392] It depends on the culture.

[1393] In America, if it's there, it's like we need all of it.

[1394] Get it.

[1395] Like, we need, if we can't just have one small glass of wine at lunch, it's like, can I get six more of those?

[1396] It's almost like the entire culturally we have scarcity mentality.

[1397] We do.

[1398] Because, yes, if I were a worker at Ducati, because I was in my 20s, occasionally I'd end up somewhere that had free everything.

[1399] Oh, yeah.

[1400] Yeah.

[1401] And I would gorge myself because, like, I had to get the most I could.

[1402] It's free.

[1403] Yeah.

[1404] That's got to be a cultural.

[1405] That's maybe a cultural thing.

[1406] Like this would be scooping pasta into their fucking briefcase.

[1407] The factory was in New York.

[1408] No, but it's everywhere in Italy is like that.

[1409] I think it would be really fun to have you tell us.

[1410] I think a lot of people think of food is literally the energy they put in their body to do what they really have to do.

[1411] Yeah.

[1412] And I think for many people, but definitely Italians, it transcends all that in such a way that I don't know that everyone can comprehend.

[1413] So could you kind of tell us what the...

[1414] tapestry.

[1415] I know this is getting kind of lofty, but it's a defining part of the culture.

[1416] Absolutely.

[1417] And defining to the point where it defines the culture as a whole.

[1418] It defines the region.

[1419] It defines the province.

[1420] Then it would define a town, and then it would define separate households.

[1421] I mean, to the point where I was talking about this, somebody the other day, oh, I was in Sicily, you know, when they made for breakfast, they have something which I think is kind of gross, which is like brioche, but then they put ice cream in it.

[1422] And that's like your breakfast.

[1423] Whoa.

[1424] Whoa.

[1425] Whoa.

[1426] Whoa.

[1427] I'm not a couple glasses of wine and get to work.

[1428] And those two things don't really go together anyway, but especially not at breakfast.

[1429] And in Rome, they have something that not everyone eats, but there's a huge sort of like donut.

[1430] not like things filled with fucking cream.

[1431] And you're like, anyway, I said, oh, I had that once and I didn't like it.

[1432] The Sicilian thing.

[1433] And the guy said, what city were you in?

[1434] He goes, was it Palermo or Catania?

[1435] I go, I think it was Catania.

[1436] I'm not sure.

[1437] He goes, well, that's why.

[1438] And I was like, what do you mean?

[1439] He goes, well, you can't eat that in Catania.

[1440] It's not going to be good.

[1441] If you eat in Palermo, it'll be incredible.

[1442] I was like, really?

[1443] I don't believe that.

[1444] Sure.

[1445] I don't believe that.

[1446] But that is the way they are.

[1447] Yeah.

[1448] I mean, they really are.

[1449] And from household to household, there will be people.

[1450] You go like, oh, I had this over at so -and -so's house.

[1451] She's like, no, she doesn't have it.

[1452] He doesn't know how to make the sausage.

[1453] You know, you're like, what?

[1454] Well, and when we say heirloom tomatoes, like there it might actually be the household where that actual seed has lived forever, maybe?

[1455] Yeah.

[1456] Yeah.

[1457] Yeah.

[1458] I mean, they're so territorial about it.

[1459] And it is probably the thing that defines them more than anything else, but also more than any other culture.

[1460] Yeah.

[1461] You know, it's really astounding because if you go, like, we're going to go to Venice, right?

[1462] We're going to go to Venice next.

[1463] We're going to do Venice, Umbria and Piamonte.

[1464] Piaumonte is where, like, the truffles are and all that sort of stuff.

[1465] So we're going to go to Venice.

[1466] But we're going to, like, start in Venice.

[1467] So we're going to be eating fish and we're going to be eating all that beautiful risotto that they make up there and all that stuff.

[1468] But then we're going to go farther up into the Veneto.

[1469] the region, and we're going to go, which is border Slovenia, and we're going to meet someone who makes, it's still Italy, but she basically makes a goulash.

[1470] It's completely Eastern European, that diet up there.

[1471] It's completely different.

[1472] I don't know another country that is so specific in that way about food because I met this guy in one of the first episodes we did.

[1473] He was one of the Missoni people, you know, the Missoni clothing.

[1474] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, clothing.

[1475] So he was married to the gal.

[1476] No, that's Massimo.

[1477] Fuck, I always do that.

[1478] Who?

[1479] No, I know what you're talking about.

[1480] She's the beautiful prince.

[1481] Lori Loflin and Mascimo.

[1482] Who's that?

[1483] Mossimo is a clothing designer who's married to Lori Lothlin.

[1484] They bought her kids way in one of that, right.

[1485] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1486] Did she go to prison or something?

[1487] Yeah.

[1488] She might have picked up some trash.

[1489] I love her.

[1490] I worked with her.

[1491] I'm sure she's a lovely person.

[1492] But I do think she did go to jail for a little bit.

[1493] Okay.

[1494] Yeah, I think so too, because I think there was, I saw things like comparing some woman sold something from Walmart and got five years because she was black and here, or Lori.

[1495] Yeah, it's rough.

[1496] Yeah.

[1497] Okay, let's blow right now.

[1498] Anyway, so, no, the Mishoni guy, he goes, he lived in New York for a while studying when he was younger, and he goes, here's the thing.

[1499] In Italy, you can drive 10 miles and go to a restaurant, you can have a completely different menu than you will 10 miles away.

[1500] And people are going to talk about different things, talk about different foods, they're going to use different ingredients, blah, blah, blah.

[1501] He goes, in America, you can drive 300 miles.

[1502] You're going to get the same food.

[1503] That is the difference.

[1504] Yeah.

[1505] Yeah, I guess, wow, I've not thought of that until just now, which is, I guess that's the product of Ray Kroc, of franchising.

[1506] Yeah.

[1507] That never happened in it.

[1508] No one was like aspiring to take over the -and -it shouldn't be that way.

[1509] If you think about the diversity, just the geography, I mean, what can grow in New York and what can grow in Atlanta, the Red Basket of America?

[1510] Yeah, of course, yeah.

[1511] Yeah, we shouldn't be able to all have the exact same food at all times any time you want.

[1512] No, it's terrible.

[1513] Well, what we're trading is like, I see the appeal.

[1514] It's safety.

[1515] I want to know that the thing I order I'm going to like.

[1516] So it's like it has this allure of safety.

[1517] This is kind of like liberty and totalitarianism.

[1518] I'm like, you can really have a good response to COVID if you are a totalitarian government.

[1519] And that's appealing in a certain period.

[1520] But then it's not appealing in another time because that safety comes for a price.

[1521] What I was going to say is when we talk about the power of culture of the food, and this is my pedestal that I stand.

[1522] stand on and preach from is that I think Americans define themselves way too much by their political views.

[1523] I think they think that is like the defining characteristic of a human is what political platform they believe in.

[1524] And if you look at Italy, you had the Romans, the first world superpower.

[1525] Then they were fascists.

[1526] They had Mussolini.

[1527] Then they were as a communist push in the 80s.

[1528] They've had every kind of political thing.

[1529] But that fucking food is there.

[1530] And that's who they are.

[1531] The food is there.

[1532] actually are and it doesn't really these other abstractions we think are so defining well if they were so defining they would have stood the test of time and it hasn't but that stuff has it has and a cab driver and aristocrat will talk about food in italy and they'll talk about it like suddenly the social standing just there's completely level playing field it's very democratized yeah completely that's a huge thing about america too and so i grow broke and then i'm loaded my wife's super loaded yeah so yeah we eat really crazy good food.

[1533] And I find myself constantly back in Michigan with my friends, like, debating whether or not I'll attempt to explain to them what food can be.

[1534] It sounds so fucking aristocratic.

[1535] So I'm nervous to say it.

[1536] But once you're introduced to it, you're like, oh my God, I was eating the same flavor every day, five times a day.

[1537] And Italians have that innately.

[1538] And there are other cultures that have that too.

[1539] I think India, lots of India is like that.

[1540] And France.

[1541] And people, some guy said to me, he goes, I was doing like an interview, and he goes, so it sounds like you're a food snob.

[1542] And I was like, I was like, what I was talking about?

[1543] How does it make me a snob if I like something of quality?

[1544] Exactly.

[1545] That I understand quality.

[1546] I don't care if it's like a fucking quasson or a whatever or, you know, whatever.

[1547] Is it good?

[1548] I don't care how much it costs.

[1549] Right.

[1550] And if it's.

[1551] That's not the guiding factor.

[1552] A snob is somebody who says, I only drink petrol.

[1553] or I only eat at Michelin -starred restaurants.

[1554] You know, well, I'm not going to buy that.

[1555] It's not expensive enough.

[1556] Uh -huh.

[1557] You're like, what are you doing?

[1558] Yeah.

[1559] You know, where do you get the good food?

[1560] Follow the working men and women in any city, in Italy, in particular.

[1561] That's where you're going to get great food.

[1562] Mm -hmm.

[1563] You're going to go to that Osteria.

[1564] You're going to go to that Trotteria, and it's going to cost you about 20 euro, and you're going to have an amazing fucking meal.

[1565] Yeah.

[1566] Well, that's the distinction.

[1567] If your food choice is an expression of your self.

[1568] status, then that's what it's about.

[1569] But if it's an expression of your love of flavor, then what the fuck is?

[1570] It has nothing to do with that.

[1571] It's not snobby.

[1572] Understanding quality isn't snobbery.

[1573] It's the opposite of snobbery.

[1574] Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare.

[1575] I want to bring this one thing up because I'd like to hear your opinion on it.

[1576] Kimmel read a book, a huge book on tomatoes, which maybe you've read.

[1577] I haven't read it because he read it and he distilled the whole thing for me in five minutes, I appreciate it.

[1578] He's a food obsessive.

[1579] Yeah, yeah.

[1580] He's a brilliant cook, too.

[1581] Yeah, yeah.

[1582] It's great to be around him because you're going to eat great food and you can put no effort into it.

[1583] It's so nice.

[1584] It's like having a buddy with a ski boat or a truck.

[1585] Yeah, it's great.

[1586] But he was saying that when you look at tomato growers in the U .S., they have a criteria of things they're aiming for.

[1587] And it's listed in priority.

[1588] So number one is like stain power on a shelf.

[1589] Yeah.

[1590] Yeah.

[1591] Number two is like the color.

[1592] They got to get the color so it looks appetizing.

[1593] Three, father, it goes on.

[1594] Taste is 10th.

[1595] It's the 10th most important thing about how they'll sell tomatoes because they got to stay on the shelf.

[1596] They got to look appetize all these things.

[1597] They got to ship well.

[1598] They got to do all this stuff.

[1599] And when he said it in that way, I was like, wow, do we have this fucking upside.

[1600] Holy shit.

[1601] I didn't know that.

[1602] Yeah.

[1603] He said, but you go to Italy.

[1604] None of those factors are even in the mix.

[1605] It's solely how good it tastes.

[1606] It's taste.

[1607] Because it's not going to travel to fucking Nevada, the breadbasket of America.

[1608] It's going to travel 25 yards to the restaurant that'll prepare it.

[1609] Yeah.

[1610] And what a difference it makes.

[1611] It's huge.

[1612] I mean, we did a thing in one of the episodes about the San Martano tomatoes, right?

[1613] What is it called?

[1614] San Martano tomato, right?

[1615] Which is the sort of the tastiest tomato you can buy.

[1616] And that's the stuff that is sold all over the world.

[1617] supposedly.

[1618] Now, the area of San Martano, we met a guy who grows like real San Martano tomatoes.

[1619] And the guy who I was with, he's like the king of pizza in Naples, this guy.

[1620] He wrote a book, like a scientific book on pizza.

[1621] He's been given a Michelin Star for his pizza.

[1622] Wow.

[1623] I mean, he's like amazing this guy.

[1624] So he goes, Sam Martano is basically this little area outside of Naples.

[1625] he goes, how is it possible that all of those fucking tomatoes that are all over the world?

[1626] He goes, they're not.

[1627] It's a lie.

[1628] They're not.

[1629] This is San Martano.

[1630] That was on your show.

[1631] And ever since, I keep looking at the tomatoes in my pantry and I'm like, ugh, these are not them.

[1632] No, even though they're labeled.

[1633] Even though they say Samarano.

[1634] So we don't really know, I don't really know what ones, even I don't know.

[1635] I could.

[1636] get him from that guy, but he doesn't can them.

[1637] He just...

[1638] Yeah, especially if he doesn't can them, then we're definitely getting dup.

[1639] I saw a 60 -minute segment with an even more nefarious story than that, which is the truffles.

[1640] Black truffle, they go for X amount of dollars in the markets in Italy.

[1641] And they went there and analyzed all of it.

[1642] And I'm like, even in Italy, 80 % of it was bullshit Chinese truffle, which has a much less taste.

[1643] it grows faster, it's easier to find, and they've, they smuggled them into Italy and sell them as if their actual travels.

[1644] And I thought, that's as low as you.

[1645] That's low.

[1646] That's low.

[1647] But also, but this is true of olive oil, too.

[1648] That olive oil, because this is a, it's a huge, by all accounts, it is controlled by like the, but really by the mafia.

[1649] Sure.

[1650] Okay.

[1651] So they control billions and billions of dollars of exports.

[1652] And a lot of that oil is, isn't really the oil we think it is.

[1653] So you have to be sort of very careful.

[1654] You really want to buy, because it's mixed with oils from all over the world.

[1655] And it'll say product of Italy, but it doesn't mean that all the oil in there.

[1656] It was assembled in Italy.

[1657] Yes, exactly, something like that.

[1658] So you have to really be sure.

[1659] So when you buy your olive oil, you want to buy from a single farm that you know that it's only those olives coming from that farm.

[1660] Oh, geez.

[1661] How many nights a week will you cook?

[1662] Every night.

[1663] Every night.

[1664] Unless we're out.

[1665] Yeah, I'll cook tonight.

[1666] What time do we need to be there?

[1667] Well, wait a minute.

[1668] And I have two kids.

[1669] I'll be bringing my six and eight year old.

[1670] What time should we be there?

[1671] Oh, actually, I'm so funny.

[1672] I'm just going out.

[1673] Oh, so weird.

[1674] Hold on.

[1675] I just heard in my ear that, yeah, I booked this big thing in another world.

[1676] No, but no, I was going to.

[1677] No, I'm serious because I think it's on Friday.

[1678] we're having people over to dinner.

[1679] Oh, my God.

[1680] If you wanted to come.

[1681] Oh, my God.

[1682] Do you want to?

[1683] Of course I do it.

[1684] Oh, my God.

[1685] I'm accepting.

[1686] Yeah?

[1687] Thousand percent.

[1688] What could be more fun than a family meal?

[1689] Yeah.

[1690] Can we film it and do Big Night Part 2?

[1691] Absolutely.

[1692] Everything should be monetized.

[1693] Everything should be filmed and recorded.

[1694] Yes, with charm like yours, it's always, I could always make money on it.

[1695] That's true.

[1696] It would just be a big sexy fest.

[1697] Is this a real invite?

[1698] It's a real invite.

[1699] Oh, my.

[1700] Oh, my God.

[1701] I feel like we're not worthy of this.

[1702] I'm going to, you know, I'll tell you what's going to happen.

[1703] Thursday, I'm going to start thinking Sam Rockwell's going to think.

[1704] Why is this bozo at the table?

[1705] He's a low rent, never went to acting school.

[1706] The guy was on a reality show.

[1707] And then on the right home from your house, I'm going to be like, I am so popular.

[1708] They all loved me the most, Sam.

[1709] Yeah, especially Sam.

[1710] How do you think I'm going to feel?

[1711] If you feel like that, you're going to have to get explained every five seconds.

[1712] The good news is, though, you're going to leave with the same thing I have.

[1713] have.

[1714] Let's see.

[1715] I was the bell of that.

[1716] You're going to be riding high.

[1717] I outshined all of them.

[1718] Line them up.

[1719] Kristen.

[1720] She's so cool.

[1721] Allison Janie?

[1722] I haven't seen her for years, but everybody, you know, everybody's working, right?

[1723] Yes.

[1724] I see more people here.

[1725] The last couple years obviously have been harder.

[1726] But when we first moved here, I mean, people, I saw my friends more here than I did in America.

[1727] Because everybody was working here.

[1728] Yeah.

[1729] It was great.

[1730] Yeah, all those Marvel movies are here.

[1731] All those big movies are here.

[1732] Chris Evans was here and Matt Damon was doing a couple of different movies here.

[1733] Meryl was coming over and doing movies.

[1734] And it was just like people were just coming over to dinner all the time.

[1735] It was really fun.

[1736] Okay.

[1737] I just have to update you on this.

[1738] So Monica's lifelong obsession's been Matt Damon.

[1739] She's seen Goodwill Hunting in excess of a thousand times.

[1740] Every poster in the room, read every single interview ever knows an encyclopedic now.

[1741] We had him on a few months ago.

[1742] He fucking kissed her on the forehead.

[1743] He kissed her on the forehead and there's a photo.

[1744] And I told Monica, she has a smile on her face.

[1745] I've never seen.

[1746] I've known her for a long time and I've made her laugh many times.

[1747] There is a smile on her face that only a baby in the womb has, I think.

[1748] Yeah.

[1749] He is so charming.

[1750] So smart.

[1751] So smart.

[1752] And but funny and approachable.

[1753] Like a brick shit house.

[1754] I know.

[1755] Everything I want.

[1756] He's something for us, man. He's like way too.

[1757] too smart way too handsome way too talented but also down to er he doesn't even seem like he wants my approval that was the thing i was like this guy doesn't even care i just care i can't imagine living that way he doesn't need he doesn't need us when i get back to the hotel the guy that opens the door i will have to stop and prove to him yeah that he should like me that you're worth opening the door for yeah i'll put on a little show for him yeah he'll feel like it was worth his investment or overthink him Oh, I'll do that too.

[1758] Yeah.

[1759] Yeah.

[1760] Yeah.

[1761] Oh, my God, you have beautiful eyes.

[1762] I'll tell me as beautiful eyes.

[1763] They might be beautiful.

[1764] You've already been given us a lot of your time.

[1765] But one thing that really interested me about your life as I read about it, I'm curious what kind of impact it had on your direction in life was growing up with the son, I guess a couple of the sons of George C. Scott.

[1766] Oh, yeah.

[1767] And what's the actresses name?

[1768] The mom.

[1769] Colleen Dewhurst.

[1770] So you went to high school?

[1771] Yeah, we went to high school together.

[1772] So Campbell and I co -directed Big Night.

[1773] Right.

[1774] We were very good friends growing up, and we did plays together in high school.

[1775] We ended up doing a play together at the Long Wharf Theater early on in the 80s after school.

[1776] And then we stayed in touch, and then I wrote the film with my cousin, and I knew Campbell wanted to direct, and I wanted a co -director because when you see somebody make a movie in there, in it, too.

[1777] There's always one aspect of the movie that suffers, and sometimes it's their performance, or it could be whatever, okay?

[1778] So I wanted somebody to...

[1779] You wanted some eyes on you.

[1780] I did.

[1781] I wanted somebody who I trusted to go, and Campbell would go, don't do it that way, just do it like this.

[1782] And I go, all right, you know, I trusted it.

[1783] Who are these people?

[1784] So, well, you know George C. Scott, right?

[1785] That was his big...

[1786] Yeah, George C. Scott was a huge, huge star in the 60s, 70s, gravelly voice, and he was He, like, and he was a tragic alcohol, I know, unfortunately.

[1787] But, and Colling Doherst was his wife, who was a renowned stage actress.

[1788] Got it.

[1789] She did some movies, but she was never really known for that kind of stuff.

[1790] They were married and divorced, then married and divorced.

[1791] You know, there's all that sort of.

[1792] Really old school Hollywood stuff.

[1793] Yeah.

[1794] In my fantasy, because it reminds me of, I think it was Rob Lowe, who became friends in high school with Emilio Estavis, and he would go up to the house of Charlie Sheen.

[1795] And it was like, oh, this is a real show business family.

[1796] This is real.

[1797] Yeah.

[1798] I guess is what I kind of maybe.

[1799] I never knew him, George.

[1800] I never knew him.

[1801] But you knew his dad was.

[1802] Yeah, I knew his dad was Dr .C. Scott.

[1803] I mean, I guess what I'm saying is it was a little closer than, say, me in Detroit.

[1804] I didn't meet anyone who.

[1805] Yeah, no, it was weird because they lived to, yeah.

[1806] And Colleen, I knew, did plays and stuff.

[1807] And she was very revered, as I said.

[1808] The first play I ever did was Campbell and I were both sort of background.

[1809] in a sense, or maybe know what we'd learn to chorus, yeah, in a way.

[1810] In this play, she did The Queen and the Rebels.

[1811] But on Broadway, right?

[1812] On Broadway, and it got me my equity card.

[1813] Oh, wow.

[1814] And it was great.

[1815] We didn't have any lines or anything.

[1816] We knew in high school, I think Campbell and I both knew what we wanted.

[1817] Yeah, and it was interesting to see her life was so completely different than my family's life, you know.

[1818] When you knew you were going to be that person at that time, were you going to be, like, Brando's stage persona?

[1819] Like, did you have a, I'm going to be a Broadway stage actor?

[1820] Or did you think I want to be a movie star?

[1821] Or do you think I want to be on television?

[1822] I wanted to do all of it.

[1823] I did.

[1824] I really wanted to do plays.

[1825] I loved doing plays.

[1826] And then I was trained in school.

[1827] But I wanted to make movies too.

[1828] And television then was sort of like you're not supposed to do television.

[1829] However, there was no choice.

[1830] I mean, like, you had to do television because you had to put a roof over your head.

[1831] That's how you make a living.

[1832] So I always did all three.

[1833] And you're just sort of working your way up and working your way up, trying not to be cast as the mafioso and everything on television or in film.

[1834] You know, or the bad guy just because you have a dark complexion.

[1835] Do you know what I mean?

[1836] But I always did all of it.

[1837] And I remember people going, I'm not doing television or I'm not doing blah, blah, blah.

[1838] You're like, fuck you.

[1839] Really?

[1840] That's like I'm not eating in a non -inisholism.

[1841] Yeah, same thing.

[1842] It's a status thing.

[1843] Yeah, it is a status thing.

[1844] Now, obviously, there were certain things you didn't want to be stuck.

[1845] KFC commercials.

[1846] Well, there you go.

[1847] I did, like, a Burger King commercial or something.

[1848] We like that, though.

[1849] I did all, you know, I did like a beer commercial, you know, whatever.

[1850] Sure.

[1851] But you just needed to make money.

[1852] A number of years later, I realized that the great thing about here, about England, is that if you look at people's careers, if you look at somebody like Judy Dench, if you look at somebody like Helen Mirren or Ian Holm who just passed away last year, they did everything.

[1853] It was just the way it was.

[1854] There were certain people, yes, their focus was really more on television.

[1855] But they would do a play, then they'd do a TV series, and then they'd go do a movie.

[1856] And it was so completely healthy.

[1857] And they didn't have, of course, the commitments that American television had, which was 24 to 26 episodes.

[1858] And potentially for nine years.

[1859] Yeah, for nine years.

[1860] And you're like, well, no wonder why people are afraid to do it, you know.

[1861] But here it was much more, it just made more sense.

[1862] It was much more flexible.

[1863] Again, this is where you can feel the layer of capitalism, and I'm a capitalist, but you can feel the layers.

[1864] First, we kind of reference it with the franchising.

[1865] That was so appealing, and that's really affected the rest of our life, the culture, the processing of the food, all these things.

[1866] And acting here, as I've become friends and had English actor friends, they don't get rich like we do.

[1867] And there's something to that.

[1868] Like, they have these hit fucking shows.

[1869] They've had many friends, but they only do three seasons of the friends.

[1870] Like Americans were like, how the fuck you're not going to milk that?

[1871] you've amortized all your costs.

[1872] Now it's gravy time.

[1873] Those next four years are where you're going to become a billionaire.

[1874] That's where my mind goes.

[1875] That's where I think all Americans do.

[1876] And then it trickles down into the thing you're pursuing, even if it's inadvertent or unconsciously.

[1877] But to get all the way full circle, so you were aiming at just kind of all things, which I like.

[1878] But you've had a flexibility, which I don't have a lot of qualities, but I've been grateful.

[1879] I've been flexible in this business when I wasn't getting hired as an actor I wrote.

[1880] And then I directed.

[1881] And it's kind of saving.

[1882] me in ways.

[1883] Yeah, and that's the joy of it.

[1884] Yeah.

[1885] I mean, like, you have this yearning to write something, and so you start writing.

[1886] And then eventually you understand writing, and you start to, and directing, and you're doing, but to be able to do all of it and bounce around from one to the other is like, it's the greatest thing in the world.

[1887] Do, like, a kid's movie, do voiceover stuff.

[1888] It's like, it's so satisfying.

[1889] By the way, you're brilliant Central Park.

[1890] Oh, my gosh, you are.

[1891] in Central Park.

[1892] That show is so good.

[1893] It's so funny.

[1894] It's so funny.

[1895] You've not ever been married to a colleague.

[1896] I am.

[1897] There's a lot of product.

[1898] There's a lot of product.

[1899] There's a lot of content.

[1900] Yes.

[1901] I'm not up for all of it.

[1902] Right.

[1903] Whatever.

[1904] I watch that show and I was like, I can't believe you're in this.

[1905] This is fucking brilliant.

[1906] Like, this is such a good cartoon.

[1907] It's crazy.

[1908] I love it.

[1909] I love it.

[1910] It's so fucking funny.

[1911] They did have a lot of songs for me at the beginning.

[1912] And I don't sing.

[1913] You don't.

[1914] I don't.

[1915] And Josh was like, come on stanley i'm just like josh i can't fucking sing i'm with you stand come on i'm like no it's like you're saying to the blind man now i'm sure you can see you can't you can't so i did do it i did some of the songs and then eventually they were i was like guys i can't do that anymore and they were like all right we understand wow so we had kind of the same experience this year because i love this guy Stephen Conrad.

[1916] You know who he is?

[1917] No. He wrote features originally.

[1918] He did this great movie with Nicholas Cage called Weatherman.

[1919] I think that's where I fell in love with him.

[1920] But he went on to write The Patriot, which is my favorite TV show.

[1921] Anyways, he did this stop motion show.

[1922] And Chris and I had always been really vocal on social media about people should watch the Patriot.

[1923] So he said to us, do you guys want to be voices in this?

[1924] Of course, we do anything.

[1925] Catch.

[1926] You got to sing, Dax.

[1927] You got to sing quite a bit in this.

[1928] I was like.

[1929] Same thing.

[1930] Even that's just, I can't do it.

[1931] You can't do it.

[1932] It will be.

[1933] I know.

[1934] How ironic, how frustrating and wonderful that your wife has one of the most incredible voices ever.

[1935] No, I don't think anyone could know the pleasure of laying in bed with the kids.

[1936] And we all sing songs at night, especially when they're little.

[1937] And at the end of one of the songs, my youngest Delta said, Mommy's voice is beautiful.

[1938] Your voice is scratchy.

[1939] And then they, you know, regularly tell me Matt to say.

[1940] And I try to tell them, I'm like, I'm bad, I'll give you that.

[1941] Yeah.

[1942] But relative to her is unfair.

[1943] I mean, no, that's too much.

[1944] My kids, because I love music.

[1945] I love jazz in particular, like all the old standards, my American song, all that stuff.

[1946] And so I would sing to my kids when they were little until eventually they got old enough.

[1947] And then they suddenly went, Dad.

[1948] You know, you don't really.

[1949] I was like, I know, I know.

[1950] Dad, aren't you in show business?

[1951] Yeah, I'm sorry you found out, you know.

[1952] Because they have lovely voices, but, well, one doesn't.

[1953] One sings like me. But the other two have really beautiful voices.

[1954] And then once they get it, then they hear you and they're like, like, maybe we skip this part.

[1955] What's that about?

[1956] Yeah, who are you?

[1957] Yeah, it's sad.

[1958] It's really sad.

[1959] Now, the memoir, my life through food.

[1960] Yeah.

[1961] What phase of life do we look at specifically, or is it, the whole ride?

[1962] Did you pick a period?

[1963] No, it's from growing up to today.

[1964] So, and not in excruciating detail, thank God.

[1965] That's not that interesting, I'm afraid.

[1966] But it's just everything is connected to food.

[1967] Either I read about food on movie sets around the world.

[1968] I read about growing up the food I had.

[1969] It's peppered sort of with recipes.

[1970] Going on, like, when we went to, there's a story with Merrill and I, when we were promoting Julian Julia.

[1971] eating in France.

[1972] Yeah, Merrill Street.

[1973] Yeah, if anyone needed clarification on that.

[1974] And it's all that.

[1975] And then at the end, I talk about I had been diagnosed with cancer three years ago.

[1976] So I had a tumor at the base of my tongue.

[1977] I couldn't eat.

[1978] Oh, my God.

[1979] That is crazy.

[1980] A very specific torture.

[1981] Well, because then I realized that my whole life is about food.

[1982] Yeah.

[1983] I mean, that's more than anything.

[1984] Your whole identity.

[1985] Your livelihood.

[1986] Yeah, it's the way I associate with people.

[1987] I mean, this was before the TV series.

[1988] But still, everything that I look forward to has to do with food, you know.

[1989] And you actually can't even cook on top of everything because you have to taste while you're eating.

[1990] Yeah, you have to taste.

[1991] And everything just tasted horrible because the radiation destroys everything.

[1992] So you lose your taste buds, but not only lose them, everything, everything, just tastes like shit and smells like shit.

[1993] So I couldn't, during the treatments, I couldn't even open the refrigerator.

[1994] I never, actually, I couldn't get out of bed.

[1995] I was so sick from the radiation and the chemo, but the odors were so horrible.

[1996] And your mouth is so damaged that it's filled with ulcers.

[1997] Oh my God.

[1998] So you can't swallow.

[1999] I couldn't swallow water.

[2000] Oh, my God.

[2001] So they had to put a feeding tube in here and I would have to get intravenous like fluids and then also put water into the feeding tube.

[2002] Oh, yeah.

[2003] And this lasted.

[2004] I had a feeding tube in for six months.

[2005] So the treatment was 35 days, but it may as well have been 350 days.

[2006] Yeah.

[2007] And I'm three years out of treatment now.

[2008] And it's still not back to normal.

[2009] Really?

[2010] My taste is back.

[2011] Oh, it is.

[2012] That came back a couple years ago.

[2013] Okay.

[2014] And now I can eat stuff without my mouth really hurting.

[2015] Uh -huh.

[2016] I can drink carbonated water now, which is good.

[2017] I couldn't drink carbonated water.

[2018] And I still can't eat spice.

[2019] Oh, really?

[2020] Like nothing that's, I made the mistake of eating some Ndujia, which is the Calabrian sausage that I was shooting a bit for the TV show.

[2021] And this is just like last week.

[2022] And I literally almost like, passed out.

[2023] Because the pain was so painful.

[2024] Wow.

[2025] And that's not even super spicy compared to what, you know, what, I can't eat Indian food.

[2026] No. I can't.

[2027] I mean, there's no way.

[2028] It really messed me up.

[2029] But it's kind of cool because it taught me a great deal.

[2030] I lived on basically a vegetarian diet for, because I couldn't eat meat because you can't, I'd have enough saliva to break it down.

[2031] Oh, my God.

[2032] So, and even still, it's a little hard for me to eat it.

[2033] so you have to go very slowly.

[2034] So basically just, it was weird.

[2035] You must have been depressed.

[2036] Depressed isn't the word.

[2037] You can't get out of bed.

[2038] You're so sick.

[2039] You just feel horrible.

[2040] And then the guilt, too, right, of your family, like I'm not participating.

[2041] Right, exactly.

[2042] And you feel like, it's just fucking awful.

[2043] That's what would kill me as a codependent.

[2044] It's really hard.

[2045] But I was lucky it hadn't metastasized.

[2046] Can I ask what the symptoms were?

[2047] So I had terrible pain right here in my jaw, right here.

[2048] Okay.

[2049] And it just kept getting worse.

[2050] And I was misdiagnosed for two years.

[2051] Oh, my gosh.

[2052] And there was a scan that was done, but the scan missed something.

[2053] As a friend of mine who's a neurosurgeon, thought it was trigeminal neuralgia, which is a weird thing you get here.

[2054] Did you?

[2055] No. Oh.

[2056] Trigeminal neuralgia, which is a thing where a nerve gets trapped under a blood vessel.

[2057] Oh.

[2058] And they can sort of fix it sometimes.

[2059] It's sometimes.

[2060] I don't know.

[2061] What if the way he tested you for that is he goes, I'm going to cut off your blood supply?

[2062] Ply it, your neck and see if the pain goes away.

[2063] Yes, seriously.

[2064] Oh, my God.

[2065] Joking for three minutes.

[2066] Tell me if it feels good.

[2067] If you make it through.

[2068] There's a chef in Chicago.

[2069] You know the story.

[2070] Grant.

[2071] He had the same thing.

[2072] He had the exact same thing.

[2073] Exact same thing.

[2074] An exact same story.

[2075] I mean, his whole life is food, his identity is...

[2076] He's on the chef's table.

[2077] Yes, it's such a good episode.

[2078] It's fascinating.

[2079] But he also had to have surgery.

[2080] They didn't do surgery.

[2081] They couldn't do surgery because the tumor was so big.

[2082] I never would have been able to talk again.

[2083] Wow.

[2084] I know you're happily married and you don't live in England, but I think you guys would have been a great couple.

[2085] Me too.

[2086] Yeah, it feels right.

[2087] She's feeling pretty good.

[2088] She watches cooking videos for four hours and nights.

[2089] It's like soothing.

[2090] It's just the greatest thing in the world.

[2091] That's what I was just when I worked out right before I came down in the little gym we have in our house and I watch cooking shows.

[2092] Oh, I have one last question.

[2093] Yes.

[2094] I have reservations about writing names.

[2095] Any kind of memoir, because I wrestle with this notion that I'm supposed to bestow some kind of knowledge on to somebody for some life lesson.

[2096] And then I'm kind of allergic to bestowing life lessons.

[2097] Yeah.

[2098] Did you feel any compulsion to try to do that?

[2099] Yeah, I would get stuck on that a little bit.

[2100] Yeah, right.

[2101] And then I think, no, it's fine.

[2102] Just tell the story.

[2103] And I guess if I would approach it like that, like, I don't know the life lesson yet.

[2104] Right.

[2105] No, we don't know.

[2106] We only know those moments.

[2107] And then in those moments, we realize, oh, we've learned this.

[2108] Yeah.

[2109] So, no, I think you just have to tell the story.

[2110] Tell the story.

[2111] And then within the story, there are lessons to be learned.

[2112] Right.

[2113] Right?

[2114] Yeah, of course.

[2115] Well, this is my last question.

[2116] This podcast should be called this is my last question.

[2117] It should be called that.

[2118] It should also be called cruel acceptance of a casual invitation.

[2119] That's your new favorite saying.

[2120] By the way, that's what we're doing.

[2121] That's exactly.

[2122] No, but it's documented.

[2123] I really did it and I meant it.

[2124] And I'm wondering, when Friday comes, you'll be cooking.

[2125] I think so.

[2126] Okay.

[2127] So will you be entering the kitchen with a thought?

[2128] Oh, fuck, I got to get this right.

[2129] Or will you enter the kitchen going like, oh, I can't wait to blow these motherfuckers' minds?

[2130] Oh, no, I have to get it right, is my friend.

[2131] Okay.

[2132] No, that doesn't.

[2133] I never think I'm going to blow somebody's mind.

[2134] We're not at the Ed Sharon phase where it's like we can riff on this song and find our way back.

[2135] No, no, no, no. Okay.

[2136] I got to figure out what.

[2137] I mean, Fee even thought that we might have somebody cater it, but I want to cook.

[2138] I'm on a, you know, I just have to look at my schedule.

[2139] Can I be honest?

[2140] I would rather have a so -so meal that you prepared than a great catered meal.

[2141] It would be more fun.

[2142] I would know.

[2143] I feel like I would understand you more.

[2144] We can help.

[2145] We can help chop.

[2146] We can be your sous chefs.

[2147] Okay.

[2148] Yeah, Kristen will love to get over your shoulder.

[2149] She loves cooking too.

[2150] Yeah.

[2151] She does?

[2152] Oh, yeah.

[2153] Yeah.

[2154] Oh, good.

[2155] All right.

[2156] Depending on the weather, one never knows.

[2157] Uh -huh.

[2158] But we could even, I might do something out outside.

[2159] Okay.

[2160] You know, just something on the grill.

[2161] Do you want me to rent a sprinter van?

[2162] just for kind of overflow seating or anything that I'll drive to, yeah.

[2163] Try to think, like, because my only skill set is, like, automotive, so I got to figure out how I can bring that to this.

[2164] Yeah, yeah.

[2165] Maybe I'll run a motorcycle and give rides in front, you know.

[2166] It'd be good just to keep people occupied while I fuck up the meal.

[2167] If it gets smoky in that kitchen, maybe people want some fresh air on the back of a motorcycle.

[2168] Well, Stanley, I've enjoyed chatting with you so much.

[2169] I hope you had fun.

[2170] I know you didn't want to do it.

[2171] So much fun.

[2172] We don't want to do anything.

[2173] I do.

[2174] Did you see Seinfeld's last stand -up?

[2175] special it was like on Netflix maybe three years ago no I don't think I did did I remember I won't do the bit justice but if you've seen it you'll remember because it's just as brilliant as it gets he said like so brilliant does you ever notice like you know you make dinner reservations everyone we got to get out of the house get in the car we got to get there we got to get there we got to pull in right now we got in the valet line with get there okay we got to order right now because all this order it let's get the check let's get out of here nobody wants to be anywhere Everything is a fucking sprint to get to the next thing And no one ever wants to be doing the thing they're doing It's so true It is incredibly true So it's like yeah this interview you're like I don't fucking want to do this fucking interview In the middle of it you're like yeah It's bad Yeah that's okay Sometimes I do think the only thing I want to do It's just like workout cook eat That's it go to sleep We're getting closer We're getting closer Rinse and repeat I know what you're going to get, McDonald's.

[2176] It all came full circle.

[2177] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2178] Hey, thank you for asking me. Oh, my God.

[2179] It's really fun.

[2180] Yeah, yeah.

[2181] I had a really good time.

[2182] Over the years, I've bumped into so many people that have worked with you and know you, of course, my wife included.

[2183] But I thought maybe she was a little just love drunk and not evaluating you.

[2184] It happens.

[2185] The criteria I might apply to you.

[2186] Sexy twice in the same character.

[2187] That's right.

[2188] I'm going to make it a fourth.

[2189] This is a sexy motherfucker.

[2190] But I've run into so many people who really, really adore you.

[2191] And so I'm really delighted.

[2192] Likewise.

[2193] Okay, Stanley, I adore you.

[2194] You are sexy, you're charming, and you're going to be my chef on Friday.

[2195] Yes.

[2196] I am so excited.

[2197] Me too, me too.

[2198] It's great.

[2199] All right, love you guys.

[2200] Thanks.

[2201] I'll see you Friday.

[2202] And now my favorite part of the show, the fact check with my soulmate Monica Padman.

[2203] First of all, coffee makes me shiver.

[2204] Oh, really?

[2205] Yeah.

[2206] Oh, jitter or shiver?

[2207] Shiver.

[2208] Or jiver.

[2209] Well, jitter.

[2210] Sure.

[2211] That's to be expected.

[2212] TBE.

[2213] But it also makes me shiver and it makes me tired.

[2214] Oh, my Lord.

[2215] I have a new favorite song.

[2216] Oh, you want to play it?

[2217] Yeah, I can't remember if we decided I can do this or not.

[2218] But I think we can't.

[2219] Well, isn't it like we decided this is like fair use because I'm not.

[2220] Just play like 10 seconds.

[2221] Yeah, yeah, because I'm just talking about I love it.

[2222] Yeah, so this is a song I kind of discovered on Spotify.

[2223] So it's kind of a. This is Wolfpack.

[2224] We just have to listen to they say put it in my pocket, put it in my pocket in my back pocket.

[2225] Yeah, we're at 20 seconds.

[2226] Probably worrisome, Rob, but here we go.

[2227] I like it.

[2228] Oh, my God, I can't stop listening to it.

[2229] Did you know they're from Michigan?

[2230] No!

[2231] You know all about Wolfpack?

[2232] I know of them.

[2233] Of course you do.

[2234] Wow.

[2235] They're from Michigan?

[2236] Ann Arbor.

[2237] Oh, my God.

[2238] And if you listen to the lyrics, Like when you kiss me on the playground, it's all about putting your number in my back pocket.

[2239] Oh, I love it.

[2240] It's great.

[2241] But you know what else?

[2242] Tell me. It's on the Mythic Quest playlist or soundtrack or whatever.

[2243] So of course.

[2244] Oh, I got to text Rob now.

[2245] You do.

[2246] Oh, my gosh.

[2247] And it also reminds me, do you remember there was a really fun song in the Romeo and Juliet DiCaprio film?

[2248] Maybe by the cardigans that had a very similar playful, just massive playfulness.

[2249] Oh, are you going to play?

[2250] Oh, oh, no. I'm not going to.

[2251] Okay.

[2252] Well, that was fun.

[2253] That was a fun.

[2254] Music interlude.

[2255] I have an update.

[2256] Okay.

[2257] It's not the brand of my sweater.

[2258] I still forgot to.

[2259] Oh, okay.

[2260] It's not really an update, but I had some panic that I wanted to share.

[2261] Okay.

[2262] You know I have a soap.

[2263] Yes, you have a volcanic ash soap.

[2264] That's right.

[2265] Yeah.

[2266] Very specific smell.

[2267] Very specific.

[2268] It's pretty much your smell.

[2269] Or whatever your pheromones have combined.

[2270] My identity is tied to it.

[2271] Yes, it is a volcano, which is such a fitting metaphor.

[2272] Volcanic ash because I'm ashy?

[2273] No, because you're like, the bulk of a volcano is underground.

[2274] Like, so it's diminutive in its appearance, yet it has all this molten lava inside.

[2275] Oh, my God.

[2276] It's fucking powerful.

[2277] Wow.

[2278] A little Barry Pompeii, if you ask it to.

[2279] Should I get a volcano tattoo?

[2280] Yes, on your forehead.

[2281] Yes.

[2282] So what I'll do is by like 15, and it lasts me a really long time.

[2283] So I realized I was down to one left.

[2284] Then I went online.

[2285] It was like, oh, I'm having a little hard time finding it.

[2286] But then I found it.

[2287] Okay.

[2288] Ordered a ton.

[2289] Then it came, and it was the wrong smell.

[2290] Same brand, wrong smell.

[2291] And I smelt them and I gagged.

[2292] Oh, my God.

[2293] You yacked?

[2294] Yeah, because it's not me. Is it also a nice smell, though?

[2295] Must be.

[2296] Yeah, of course.

[2297] But it's not...

[2298] Should you give it all to me?

[2299] Well, I gave it to friends.

[2300] Oh.

[2301] I guess I'm excluded from that.

[2302] It was a girl's night.

[2303] Oh, okay.

[2304] So I do think your house ended up with something, by the way.

[2305] Anyway, so then I really panicked.

[2306] I was like, oh, my God, I have one left.

[2307] I'm going to have to change my whole identity.

[2308] I'm going to have to pick a new...

[2309] No, I'm going to tell you exactly what's going to happen.

[2310] What?

[2311] You're finally going to do what I've been begging you to do.

[2312] Stop bathing.

[2313] No. You're going to have to start rationing it, which means you're only going to have to do.

[2314] pits, slits, and nips.

[2315] I did this morning only do...

[2316] Pits, tits and slits?

[2317] I didn't do tits.

[2318] Shits?

[2319] I did do shit.

[2320] Yeah, okay.

[2321] Shit's tits and pits and slits.

[2322] This could actually all work out for me. It always does.

[2323] Yeah.

[2324] Is it my simulation?

[2325] I don't know.

[2326] I'm starting to tilt.

[2327] Like you drink coffee now, which is great.

[2328] I know.

[2329] You do mushrooms.

[2330] That's great.

[2331] Post that picture of me drinking Guinness.

[2332] Uh -huh.

[2333] You're drinking Guinness.

[2334] That was for you.

[2335] I'm really, I'm helping you along.

[2336] Less bathing, more caffeine and drugs.

[2337] God.

[2338] This is a real...

[2339] It's a slow burn.

[2340] This is a weird conversion camp.

[2341] It's like the antithesis of the Christian conversion camp where they break you of being gay.

[2342] This is like I turn you into a scumbag conversion camp.

[2343] Well, I think it might be working.

[2344] That was my update.

[2345] What are your updates?

[2346] When you double -crossed me out of some money, I'll go, transformation complete.

[2347] I'll applaud you.

[2348] I'll never do that.

[2349] I know you won't.

[2350] You would never.

[2351] You also don't respond to peer pressure.

[2352] But I guess I do.

[2353] It just takes a long time.

[2354] It's Inception.

[2355] I had to use the Inception route.

[2356] Like, at first I called Michael Pollan like 12 years ago and said, could you write a positive book on mushrooms as an intellectual she respects?

[2357] Wait until you read Michelle Obama's new book.

[2358] Don't wash. Do MDMA.

[2359] Instead, do MDMA.

[2360] What are your updates?

[2361] updates updates updates um had a uh intestinal bug that yeah i think i gave you yeah that you gave me yeah side note my daughter was like deciding not to kiss me out of fear of getting the bug and i said well look i didn't kiss monica and i got the bug so guess what you probably screwed already yeah yeah so that's been my week and it's i have a new compassion for how you felt the week we got home from texas yeah when did it's start for you, Tuesday?

[2362] No. I...

[2363] You have the shits at the race?

[2364] Yeah, remember I had middle of the night...

[2365] Yeah.

[2366] Middle of the night situation.

[2367] Uh -huh.

[2368] That was Monday night?

[2369] That was Sunday night.

[2370] Sunday night.

[2371] But truth be told, for a couple days before that...

[2372] A little bit problematic.

[2373] I had had some looseness.

[2374] Okay, sure, sure.

[2375] Very loose.

[2376] Uh -huh.

[2377] Well, some looseness and very loose are almost opposite.

[2378] Okay, it was real loose.

[2379] But it was at the time of my regular movement.

[2380] Right.

[2381] So no red flags on the schedule.

[2382] Exactly.

[2383] It was just like, yeah, the schedule was the same, but the consistency wasn't great.

[2384] And you and I are of the belief that once a week, diarrhea is very medicinally advantageous.

[2385] This doctor says it's much.

[2386] This doctor says once a week, honestrias, is a sign of great health and good fortune.

[2387] Yeah.

[2388] So that was a little, I was like, okay, I've had a couple days of very loose, but that's fine on schedule.

[2389] But then Sunday night, there was middle of the night.

[2390] That's when you know it's not great.

[2391] You can't ignore that one because I don't ever wake up in the middle of the night to evacuate.

[2392] Yeah.

[2393] Although this week.

[2394] Yeah.

[2395] So that was Sunday night.

[2396] And then Monday I had, yeah.

[2397] Basically, I think it really culminated Sunday.

[2398] Oh, wow.

[2399] So when we were tubing.

[2400] Yeah, I didn't.

[2401] Did you have any honest for you in the river?

[2402] No, not in the river.

[2403] Okay, okay.

[2404] I'm surprised during my almost near -death experience.

[2405] Oh, my God, can you imagine what level that would have taken the experience to if I had to come up with a shirt to tie around your waist?

[2406] I would have asked you to just hold me down, drown me. Yeah, just kill me. Oh, God.

[2407] Oh, wow, I hadn't even comprehended that if you turned around and there was, oh, gosh.

[2408] That could have been like a life -changing.

[2409] Yeah, the end.

[2410] I guess we have a lot more to be grateful for than we knew.

[2411] Because if I had gone through that same washer machine that we both went through, the little kink in the river.

[2412] Yeah.

[2413] In my state on Wednesday, all bets are off.

[2414] Well, yeah, but I think your body is in so much protection mode.

[2415] True, true.

[2416] This is my theory that you're not fully on board with why you don't poop when you are traveling.

[2417] I know, which maybe you're right.

[2418] Can I float it to everyone?

[2419] Just maybe there's a scientist in the group that can respond that I'm right or wrong.

[2420] So we were just lamenting about when you travel a lot, a very common occurrence is that people have a hard time pooping the first day on a vacation because they're so out of their element.

[2421] And so Ana asks, what is that from?

[2422] Like, assuming I learned this an anthro, and I own the fact that I did not learn this an anthro, but this is my, this is my theory I came up with.

[2423] Yeah.

[2424] Which is, in the event that you are driven out of your safe environment is a hunting and gathering, little cute member of a hunting and gathering, little cute member of a hunting and gathering.

[2425] gathering society.

[2426] Chinchilla.

[2427] If you're driven out, be it by predator, be it by marauding warrior.

[2428] The last thing you want to do is take a dump and expose your location.

[2429] Because a predator is going to smell that human dump from a mile away.

[2430] So it is possible that through evolution, the people that when they were displaced and running from a predator naturally just didn't poop, those people got eaten less and they passed on those jeans.

[2431] That's my, evolutionary take on why you don't poop on vacation.

[2432] Yeah, which I can buy into that a little bit.

[2433] You do.

[2434] Well, we agree that you would really blow your cover if you stop to take a big stinky dump while running from a lion.

[2435] Yeah, you can't do that.

[2436] That's off the table.

[2437] And if you do that, odds of you getting eaten go up drastically.

[2438] Not only are they going to smell the poop on the ground, they'll smell on your body.

[2439] Because there's no badeys back then.

[2440] No, no, no, no, no tushies.

[2441] There are tushies, but not tushies.

[2442] Right, so she's your butt, but not to she's a brand.

[2443] Yeah.

[2444] Monica, keep that.

[2445] I'm going to cut that.

[2446] So to me, like your body was in a state of survival.

[2447] What?

[2448] In the river.

[2449] In the river.

[2450] So your body was like, don't let out any duty because that'll blow your cover.

[2451] That'll blow my cover.

[2452] The river will know how to get me. Yes.

[2453] The pran will come quickly.

[2454] Yeah.

[2455] Anyway, all to say, stomach bug.

[2456] You had it for, what, five days would you say?

[2457] Or longer?

[2458] I think longer.

[2459] Yeah.

[2460] So I've had a couple real rough nights, just real rough, rough, rough.

[2461] It's really exhausting.

[2462] I mean.

[2463] It's demoralizing.

[2464] Yeah.

[2465] It humbles you.

[2466] It's so humbling.

[2467] You're like, look at me. I can't get control of this.

[2468] Anywho, on to greener pastures.

[2469] Here's an update, pivot.

[2470] Okay.

[2471] I'm getting my ears pierced today.

[2472] I'm not getting married.

[2473] You're getting your ears pierce today?

[2474] I am.

[2475] You already have ears pierce, so is this like a more aggressive style of ear piercing?

[2476] I already have one pierce.

[2477] Oh, that's it?

[2478] Well, I have double.

[2479] Okay.

[2480] But one of them feels closed up.

[2481] And then I had two up top, but I had to take them out.

[2482] Because?

[2483] Because when I had my seizure, they cut them out for the MRI.

[2484] They cut them out?

[2485] Because this type of earring is like one melded together.

[2486] Oh, like an eternity ring?

[2487] Yeah, it's really cool.

[2488] But anyway, they had to cut those out.

[2489] Oh, my gosh.

[2490] So I'm getting those redone.

[2491] So really quick.

[2492] They must have bolt cutters in the fucking emergency room?

[2493] Oh, they have everything in there.

[2494] Wow, they got a saws all maybe.

[2495] Maybe they got a grinder.

[2496] Hammer.

[2497] Oh, sludge hammer.

[2498] I'm getting those repierced, and I think I might do a third regular hole.

[2499] Okay.

[2500] And what do you think this is about?

[2501] Declaration of a new birth?

[2502] Yeah.

[2503] Stomach virus is gone.

[2504] It's a new day.

[2505] I'm a new girl.

[2506] Well, I just wanted to mix things up a little bit.

[2507] I miss those earrings.

[2508] I really liked the look of that.

[2509] Yeah.

[2510] And I want it back.

[2511] So you're going to get what, like seven or eight piercings today?

[2512] Yeah, like nine.

[2513] No, for real.

[2514] You're going to get two on top and a third and get the other hole plumbed out.

[2515] So that's four per ear?

[2516] No. So you're getting eight piercings today?

[2517] No, I'm going to get.

[2518] You're going to go into anaphylactic shock.

[2519] No. I might have another seizure.

[2520] They're going to have to cut it out again.

[2521] I can encourage you to take some pain pillars.

[2522] Oh, God, here we go.

[2523] Okay, no. One, two, three, four.

[2524] I'm getting four.

[2525] On both ears?

[2526] No. Just one ear?

[2527] On one ear, I'm getting two up top.

[2528] Okay.

[2529] And then on each year, I'm getting a third hole.

[2530] Okay.

[2531] That's four.

[2532] Okay.

[2533] But then you just said, you're getting married, which reminded me. Yeah.

[2534] I had a girls night this week, which was really fun.

[2535] I cooked risotto.

[2536] I heard it was sensational.

[2537] Kristen said you're such a great cook.

[2538] Thank you.

[2539] It was yummy.

[2540] I was proud of it.

[2541] It was a new recipe.

[2542] It wasn't by my chefs, so I was like.

[2543] But did you do a grilled artichoke as well?

[2544] Or you did something.

[2545] You did a side that was impressive as well.

[2546] I did a. A soup?

[2547] No, just an autumnal salad with homemade dressing.

[2548] Yes.

[2549] It was the homemade dressing that blew her mind.

[2550] Oh, okay.

[2551] Yeah.

[2552] Yeah, it had apple butter, apple cider, vinegar.

[2553] Fed in the salad, not in the dressing.

[2554] Right, which is, I get confused because you, You hate go, but you're fine with Feta.

[2555] Yes, correct.

[2556] Anywho, I had a girl's night.

[2557] A lot of wives are there.

[2558] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2559] It'll encourage you not to get married, I'm sure.

[2560] Well, that's what I'm about to say.

[2561] So it was interesting.

[2562] There's a lot of talk.

[2563] That's what happens at Girls' Nights.

[2564] It's gossip.

[2565] It's venting time.

[2566] It's what you're supposed to do.

[2567] Yes.

[2568] They did leave, and I did think, like, hmm, it made me feel gratitude.

[2569] It didn't make me feel like, thank God I'm not married or I never want to get married.

[2570] But it made me feel grateful for my current life, too.

[2571] Right.

[2572] And that I'll be giving things up.

[2573] Yeah.

[2574] Well, there's just a ton of autonomy that goes out the window.

[2575] Yeah.

[2576] And that's rough.

[2577] Like, I love autonomy.

[2578] Yeah.

[2579] But it's easy when it's, you know, obviously, grass is always greener, niceness being human, and liberalist education.

[2580] Yeah, Hellenic studies.

[2581] Because, of course, when you're single, you're pretty focused on loneliness and not having someone to share the experiences with it.

[2582] Yes, and ping pong and have all of that.

[2583] And that is a loss.

[2584] I mean, that is something to miss. But there's all these upsides, too, that you're not considering.

[2585] Well, really quick, just even the shared experience.

[2586] So it's like, yeah, you're inclined to go like, well, I'm going to be on vacation.

[2587] I'm not going to remember this with anyone.

[2588] But often half of vacations when you're married, it's a bad vacation because you're arguing, yeah.

[2589] So it's like, yeah, half the time it's super beneficial and half the time it's like it ruined a great vacation.

[2590] Yeah.

[2591] Why do you think Kristen goes on all these girls' vacations, so I can't ruin them?

[2592] We do have a lot of fun on the girls' vacations.

[2593] Yeah.

[2594] But yeah, I guess it was, it made me feel good.

[2595] It made me feel like life, regardless of what state, has beautiful things and hard things across the board.

[2596] It's not like getting married as good.

[2597] to fix any of these problems I have or it might not even fix loneliness.

[2598] I don't know.

[2599] Well, that's another interesting thing.

[2600] Yeah.

[2601] People can be very lonely in relationships, even more lonely.

[2602] Yeah.

[2603] That's what Esther always talks about is like this deep loneliness people can have, which feels even more lonely because you shouldn't feel on it.

[2604] On top of it, you don't really have a...

[2605] There's nothing to attribute it to.

[2606] Right.

[2607] So that was good.

[2608] I felt grateful that you weren't married any of us yeah no i just felt like yeah my life is good i should like even think of the trip to paris in england it probably would have done so much better without me on the trip truthfully um i mean take out the us doing the podcast part oh wait london or paris well certainly paris everyone's happier if i'm not there there's no question about that i don't even But you could mount a case that the entire trip would have been more pleasurable without me there.

[2609] Well, look, this is so hard to say because, again, yes and no. No, because I love you and I love your company.

[2610] So the times where we're out and about and having fun, no, I never wanted to give that up.

[2611] But there were a lot of, you were upset a lot.

[2612] Yes, I was.

[2613] And that.

[2614] Deeply.

[2615] That's hard to feel.

[2616] that's an energy that is hard to be around.

[2617] Yes.

[2618] So it's both.

[2619] Also just making like, in some cases, neither person is to blame.

[2620] It's just like you guys would want to spend four days going in and out of liberty.

[2621] Yeah.

[2622] And I don't want to do that.

[2623] Of course.

[2624] So, you know, that's just an inherent conflict.

[2625] Yeah.

[2626] And there's no solution to it.

[2627] Right.

[2628] I mean, there are lots of like, we got to, we just got to come back, girls.

[2629] We have to plan a girl's trip.

[2630] Yes, yes, yes.

[2631] The plane of girls' European trip.

[2632] And only because I think what's tricky is when you're with your family, of course, there's more, well, you and I argue about this sometimes.

[2633] But I think there's more willingness to be upset or to be honest about your feelings.

[2634] And if we're on a girlship or if you're on a guy's trip, if you're a little upset, you're probably not going to feel.

[2635] like I got to say something or I you're not going to let yourself really well and I'll tell you why because the stakes of it feel so differently so if I'm a little bit annoyed on a guy's trip I'm on a guy's trip once a year right but when it's your family you are thinking in that time if I don't stop this now this is the rest of my life yeah yeah yeah so it feels more existential your problems even though they're probably not it just feels that way yeah don't you think it's all choices we're made like you can easily you can decide that that's not the case.

[2636] Right.

[2637] But it is...

[2638] It feels like, oh, wow, this is a pattern I find myself caught in, and how do I break this pattern?

[2639] But I'm not with just the guys enough for their even, for a pattern to emerge.

[2640] Yeah, that makes sense.

[2641] Yeah.

[2642] That makes sense.

[2643] Yeah.

[2644] But I just planned one.

[2645] I planned a guy's trip.

[2646] First one.

[2647] Oh, you did.

[2648] Yeah, yeah.

[2649] Because I'm taking Aaron to the Dunes for his second anniversary.

[2650] Yeah.

[2651] And I was like, I bet the other boys want to come.

[2652] So the boys are going.

[2653] That is so fun.

[2654] You guys are going to have the best time.

[2655] I'm jealous.

[2656] Well, thank you.

[2657] I take that as a compliment.

[2658] Anyway, some facts.

[2659] You say that like it's so sad.

[2660] Stanley Facts.

[2661] So, Spelunking.

[2662] Uh -huh.

[2663] Spelunking.

[2664] Oh, the pronunciation.

[2665] Spelunking.

[2666] Oh, it's Spelunking.

[2667] Spelunking.

[2668] Wow.

[2669] I say spielunking.

[2670] Yeah, that's what.

[2671] But she's like spilunking.

[2672] She kind of, I'm making it a real.

[2673] Spelongy, spilunking.

[2674] Spelunking.

[2675] She's in between a long and up short volume.

[2676] These computers.

[2677] A human can't even do that in between a long and a short.

[2678] Spelunking.

[2679] Spelunking.

[2680] Spelunking.

[2681] Spelunking.

[2682] I am so not AI.

[2683] So organic.

[2684] It's too organic.

[2685] Natural.

[2686] Fat, fat naturals.

[2687] Fat trills.

[2688] Okay.

[2689] What's the size of the title of your biography?

[2690] Autobiography.

[2691] Fatrials?

[2692] could be, but also coffee makes me cold.

[2693] That's good.

[2694] It's one.

[2695] Coffee makes me sleepy.

[2696] There's lots of options.

[2697] Okay.

[2698] What's the size of New York compared to the size of England?

[2699] United Kingdom is about two times bigger than New York.

[2700] Oh, okay.

[2701] Well, that whole country is only the size of two New York.

[2702] I know.

[2703] It's so impressive, actually.

[2704] For them, well, for them to be a G7 country with, like, the resources of just two New Yorks?

[2705] But don't you think, like, it's actually easier the smaller?

[2706] You know, I don't know.

[2707] I think they've got a hundred and twenty -eight million people in the size of two New York's.

[2708] I don't know.

[2709] I don't know if that's their population.

[2710] Maybe it's 62.

[2711] Maybe Germany's 128.

[2712] It doesn't matter.

[2713] What's the name of our fact check?

[2714] More facts.

[2715] Additional unsubstantiated facts.

[2716] I just want to find out of the U .K. Okay.

[2717] Okay.

[2718] I might need to get out of the population game.

[2719] I think I'm so good at it, but between Grand Rapids and this.

[2720] You're allowed to take a couple more stabs.

[2721] Well, I did say 128 and then I said, or is it 60?

[2722] Maybe Germany's one of these European countries got like a hundred.

[2723] What is the most populous European country?

[2724] Germany's 83.

[2725] How many Russians do you think there are?

[2726] Oh, a hundred million.

[2727] 145 million.

[2728] Wow.

[2729] Good guess.

[2730] I don't know anything about numbers.

[2731] Like I just totally made that up.

[2732] Well, you did a good job.

[2733] Thank you.

[2734] Well, you know how many we have, right?

[2735] How many?

[2736] That should be your baseline.

[2737] I know.

[2738] That's what I was just thinking.

[2739] About 330.

[2740] million i think and what about india there's like some baselines there's china there's india billion yeah i think i think uh india's got like 1 .5 billion now what is it 1 .38 billion 1 .38 billion okay and china's what was china at 2 billion 16 billion okay 1 .4 billion wait really close oh my god in 2020 China in india are i guess almost tied wow so uh second most populous country uh Germany in in Europe 83 million and then the UK 67 million what would you think is the third Wait so Germany was first well they have Russia's first.

[2741] Oh oh oh oh oh that in Europe but yeah Russia's first at 145 Germany second at 83 the UK's third at 67 and what do you think the next is um You know it France yeah yeah France that's right yeah France is at 65 million So very, very close to the U .K. and its population.

[2742] And then I'll just stop it at Italy.

[2743] It's number five with 60 million.

[2744] You know, California, you know how many people we have?

[2745] We have 12 million.

[2746] I think we have 40, high 30s.

[2747] Yeah, I think it's like 30, but I'm going to be sure.

[2748] 39 .5 million.

[2749] 40.

[2750] How does it feel to be the one giving the facts?

[2751] I'm horny as how.

[2752] Yeah.

[2753] Like, I feel like I get a pregnant a cow right now.

[2754] That's how I feel.

[2755] Yeah, I bet.

[2756] I bet.

[2757] Okay.

[2758] How long did Lori Loughlin go to jail?

[2759] Two months.

[2760] Okay.

[2761] What was the tomato book that Kim will write?

[2762] I was going to have you ask him, but I forgot to ask you to ask him.

[2763] But do you think you'd recognize it if I said it?

[2764] Nope.

[2765] Okay.

[2766] I think it's tomato land.

[2767] Ah.

[2768] How modern industrial agriculture destroyed our most alluring fruit.

[2769] by Barry Estabrook Yeah, I'm going to say it's that Okay, that is printed in many editions So I think it's that Do you think there's any chance Wait, he's probably doing a show There's an article that says He recommends Ripe the Search for the Perfect Tomato Oh, could be that as well then All right, could be that By Arthur Allen Could also be Epic Tomatoes By Craig Leolior Oh, Leolom of Merrimont Speaking of French That was supposed to be French He's one of the 65 million proud Frenchmen.

[2770] That's right.

[2771] All right.

[2772] So Ripe is probably the one if...

[2773] Yeah, it seems pretty linked.

[2774] He tweeted it too.

[2775] Okay, so that's pretty definitive.

[2776] Okay, great.

[2777] Well, it's good.

[2778] It's just been a general shout -out to three tomato books.

[2779] That's right.

[2780] Oh, see ya.

[2781] Sianara.

[2782] Do you think I'm allowed to say Sianara?

[2783] Ooh, great question.

[2784] I think so.

[2785] Like, off -eater -s saying...

[2786] Shoot, should I bring this up?

[2787] Are you in trouble?

[2788] No. Tuobo?

[2789] No. But it was brought to my attention in a very, like, safe way.

[2790] Yeah.

[2791] That maybe we're not supposed to say spooky anymore.

[2792] And I was like, what?

[2793] But I guess the derivative of that word is...

[2794] Well, there was a racial slur.

[2795] Yes, yes.

[2796] But I think the word spooky predates that racial slur for sure.

[2797] Sure.

[2798] Yeah, I don't know.

[2799] I don't know, maybe.

[2800] So, yeah, I, and this person who told me, this person was not telling me not to say it.

[2801] They were saying.

[2802] They heard that.

[2803] Yes.

[2804] And they work at a very progressive company.

[2805] Yeah, I got you.

[2806] I know who it is.

[2807] But, but, but this is, it's tricky when it's an erroneous claim, like a master bedroom.

[2808] Exactly.

[2809] It's just not, that's not what it derived from.

[2810] So it's weird.

[2811] It's hard to accept ones that a white person tells.

[2812] me and then I can look it up and it's the history of it way predates the thing yeah yeah I haven't heard it from anyone of color right I mean I don't know my person who told me was like I mean I think it's also fine like you know do it do what you want to do and I was like yeah you know what I'm probably just going to keep saying it but then every time I almost said it I got anxiety but that's not even the same thing well yeah because I kept saying like well spooky means ghoulishly festive.

[2813] Well, I know, but like, I kept saying, I want to go to a restaurant that's spooky.

[2814] So I was really seeking out something specifically spooky.

[2815] And I was saying it a lot.

[2816] Yeah.

[2817] And then at one point she had.

[2818] I overheard a couple of your conversations throughout Halloween, to be honest with you.

[2819] I'm aware of this already.

[2820] I overheard you.

[2821] It was kind of my catchphrase.

[2822] And then I had to catch myself and move it on to festive.

[2823] Right, right, right, right.

[2824] Just in case.

[2825] Yeah.

[2826] Okay.

[2827] That was everything.

[2828] Yeah.

[2829] All right.

[2830] The toch.

[2831] So fun.

[2832] Such a delicious.

[2833] Even a better host than a guest, by the way.

[2834] And that's hard to do.

[2835] He was a great guest.

[2836] Absolutely.

[2837] But yeah, what a host and his wife.

[2838] Oh, man. It's an art form.

[2839] People can make hosting an art form.

[2840] Yes.

[2841] I aspire to.

[2842] Yeah.

[2843] You have all the makings for it.

[2844] I mean, all these girls' nights you host.

[2845] I really love it.

[2846] Yeah.

[2847] And I have a different variety of it.

[2848] Yes, I'm experiencing the same thing with the hayride.

[2849] It's like, oh, my God, I did something, and then it actually gave people joy.

[2850] What a wonderful feeling.

[2851] Yeah, there is something about spending a lot of time and energy on other people.

[2852] Making people happy.

[2853] And then when it works, when people are eating your handmade dressing.

[2854] That's right.

[2855] And smiling and getting excited.

[2856] Yeah, rubbing it on their neck and shoulders.

[2857] Yeah, it's also a perfume.

[2858] Yeah.

[2859] And an exfoliant and a moisturizer.

[2860] Well, that's really what I get out of it is entrepreneurial ship.

[2861] Right.

[2862] You know, I get to test out my products.

[2863] Your future products.

[2864] Oh, speaking of gift guide is going to happen.

[2865] A lot of people are excited about the gift guide.

[2866] Now I feel stressed out.

[2867] You've painted yourself into a corner, yeah.

[2868] Uh -huh.

[2869] Uh -huh.

[2870] I totally have.

[2871] People have commented.

[2872] Some people have reached out with their products.

[2873] Oh, I bet they have.

[2874] To be included into the gift guide.

[2875] But I'm not doing that.

[2876] I'm only putting.

[2877] You're going to keep this pure.

[2878] That's right.

[2879] Right.

[2880] What do you do if it's one of our sponsors?

[2881] Like, but you just natural.

[2882] Like, Mandi's.

[2883] fucking absolutely recommend me on these.

[2884] I think I'm not going to include any sponsors so it's not a pick and choose.

[2885] Right.

[2886] So don't interpret that as a lack of belief in a product.

[2887] That's right.

[2888] That's what we need to set up.

[2889] This is complicated.

[2890] It's already so complicated.

[2891] Because yeah, what if I want to put a different underwear on it?

[2892] You can't.

[2893] You know what?

[2894] That's not true because this is my gift guide.

[2895] It's not armchair experts' gift guide.

[2896] If someone wants to sponsor me, go ahead.

[2897] But until then, my gift guys are pure.

[2898] Okay, good.

[2899] I like it.

[2900] You've got a wall between church and state?

[2901] For now.

[2902] I can be bought.

[2903] Absolutely.

[2904] All of us can.

[2905] One need only watch dopesick to see the extent by which.

[2906] By the way, great show.

[2907] Great fucking show.

[2908] I want to recommend it.

[2909] On Hulu.

[2910] Our man, Michael Keaton is the lead.

[2911] He's fucking great.

[2912] And it's all about the Sackler family.

[2913] And the doctors that got ensnared in the prescribing of it.

[2914] Yeah, it's really in depth, and it's beautifully acted.

[2915] And, of course, everyone in my AA meeting is watching it because we're all addicts.

[2916] Yeah.

[2917] And I heard a couple different guys share about how genuine the portrayal is in that many people in the meeting thought they got an addict involved in this project somehow because it's just really well done.

[2918] Cool.

[2919] One real quick thing, because I reminded me of succession.

[2920] Yeah.

[2921] Do you think a good costume would have a good costume would.

[2922] have been a good festive costume would have been you know the opening credits when it's that girl and boy it's like the family and they're in like brown suits and the girls in a white dress and they're like standing and they look sad i know what you're speaking of but i wouldn't know it out of context at all it would i would think you were lizzie borden who's that oh my gosh monica your age betrays you why lizzie borden is a very very famous little girl who was accused and believed to have killed her parents with an axe.

[2923] There's a ton of theories that that's not possibly what happened.

[2924] But yes, this is a little girl.

[2925] Are you on a page?

[2926] 1892.

[2927] 1892.

[2928] 1892, my age betrays me. In Massachusetts.

[2929] And your location.

[2930] Oh, my God.

[2931] As someone who was born in 1850 in mass, I'm a mashole.

[2932] Uh -huh.

[2933] What's the two -second synopsis of it, Rob?

[2934] She was an American woman, tried and acquitted.

[2935] AX murder of her father and stepmother in Massachusetts.

[2936] No one was charged with the murders, but ostracism from other residents.

[2937] She spent the remainder of her life in Fall River.

[2938] Killing people with axes.

[2939] It's a revenge story.

[2940] That's great.

[2941] Well, I think there's a couple different takes on it.

[2942] I think one of them, of course, is like she just got thrown in this, like, you know, anti -feminist.

[2943] She was hysterical.

[2944] blah, blah, blah, blah.

[2945] Right.

[2946] Other people were like the defense was she couldn't because she was a woman and a woman couldn't kill people with axes.

[2947] So it's very, yeah, it gets studied a lot because of its many cultural implications.

[2948] Never heard of her.

[2949] But I guess if I was just a succession girl, I did have a dress.

[2950] Well, because I was also going to be me as a baby.

[2951] Oh my God.

[2952] I wish that would have happened.

[2953] But I would have been fine to have people think that I'm also her.

[2954] That's a, yeah, that's a good one.

[2955] But then people would go, why no axe covered in ketchup?

[2956] And I'd be like, because I'm the person from Succession.

[2957] Oh, fuck.

[2958] Okay, you wouldn't go like, oh, I left it in the car.

[2959] I thought it was going to be too heavy to carry around.

[2960] No. You wouldn't perpetuate their fantasy.

[2961] No. But if they said, hey, Lizzie Borden, I'd be like, yep.

[2962] Yeah.

[2963] You know.

[2964] Of course, like me. Decks, yeah.

[2965] Exactly.

[2966] Easier.

[2967] All right, I love you.

[2968] Love you.

[2969] Follow armchair.

[2970] expert on the Wondry app, Amazon music, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[2971] You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts.

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