MFM Minisode 208

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] So my favorite murder.

[2] The minisode.

[3] The first one of 2021, everyone.

[4] Wow.

[5] Sound effect.

[6] That's my whoop.

[7] That's my whoo.

[8] Old -fashioned car.

[9] Old -fashioned car.

[10] Thank you.

[11] Coconuts.

[12] That's just my hands.

[13] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[14] Good idea.

[15] Yeah, let's start.

[16] And this is where we read to your stuff in 2021.

[17] You sent it to us.

[18] We read it to you.

[19] That's right.

[20] It's so exciting.

[21] All right.

[22] I'm not going to read this subject line.

[23] It gives it away.

[24] But one of the greatest intros ever.

[25] Okay.

[26] Hi guys, gals and non -binary pals.

[27] Yes.

[28] Love it.

[29] Right?

[30] Inclusive.

[31] I'm currently rocking my newborn to sleep listening to your podcast and was reminded about a chilling story from my childhood that I had to share.

[32] So when I was a wee youngan, my mom thought it would be a great idea to have my twin brother and I take photos at the school she worked at.

[33] Apparently, this was a yearly thing where a photographer, let's call him Richard, would come take slightly incestuous photos of siblings who went to school together.

[34] What?

[35] How?

[36] My brother and I were the lucky ones to pose holding hands hugging a tree.

[37] Super great.

[38] They're just saying that basically it's like stuff that siblings would normally never be doing.

[39] Okay.

[40] Remember it's like you'd have to take a picture.

[41] sure it's like you and your sister cheek to cheek where it's like we have what we have one where we're leaning our heads on my brother who's in between us and I'm making a face of like just I don't want to be here face yeah just get me get me get me out of here before one of these two people punches me right yeah yeah well well I was looking at the photo the other day and my mom said nonchalantly I love those pictures too bad the guy who took them was a murderer shocked I asked her to explain she said that every year Richard and his wife, will call her Pam, would come to school and take pictures.

[42] Pam was always in good spirits and assisted Richard in lighting, poses, etc. Well, one night Pam was found bludgeon to death in the snow in front of her house.

[43] Richard had been physically and emotionally abusing her for years, killed her with a baseball bat, and he was later found in their garage having killed himself.

[44] Apparently, Pam had been working at a, well, it will just say, she had been working part time and told her.

[45] told her coworkers that if anything had happened to her, Richard was to blame.

[46] Richard and Pam are survived by two daughters, one of which is adamant that her father didn't do it.

[47] Thank you for keeping me awake during my son's 4 a .m. Feetings, especially since his dad is deployed and my dog doesn't help much with the baby.

[48] Stay sexy and don't trust baby photographers.

[49] All the best, Bay.

[50] Wow.

[51] What a horrible story all around.

[52] All around.

[53] Horrifying.

[54] Just awful.

[55] And I wonder if this story is especially sensitive to a new young mother.

[56] Oh.

[57] A baby photographer where it's just like, I bet that's the kind of stuff that all comes back up as your, well, I mean, her mom said it.

[58] But also just as now you're in that position of like where you're bringing your kids and what you decide to do.

[59] And who you expose them to and not having any idea.

[60] Yeah.

[61] Yeah.

[62] I have a thing a new parent is just constant red flags everywhere you look.

[63] Oh, it must be.

[64] It must be.

[65] All right.

[66] This one, this is called Christmas Eve Near Murder Miracle.

[67] Oh.

[68] Okay.

[69] It just starts, hey.

[70] Hey.

[71] My husband and I were flying home on Christmas Eve when we got a text from a neighbor that read, OMG, someone just got shot in your driveway.

[72] With that, the flight attendant shut the main cabin door and we were forced to turn off the phone and sit in suspense for the next two and a half hours.

[73] Oh, my God.

[74] By the time we got home, there was nothing left but a medium -sized blood stain in our driveway.

[75] However, we were able to piece together what happened thanks to our neighbors, the police, and our security cams, which caught a lot of the action.

[76] Apparently, a group of four guys at a nearby apartment complex had tried to buy pot, which is not legal here, using counterfeit money.

[77] Oh, don't do that, guys.

[78] I honestly didn't even know counterfeit money was still a thing.

[79] It's always a thing.

[80] I know, right?

[81] That's like a piece of paper that you draw on.

[82] Counterfeit money.

[83] Now more than ever.

[84] The dealers took offense and shot the guys as they drove away.

[85] Four bullets went into the side of the car, one hitting the driver in the leg.

[86] One last shot went through the back window, missed all four guys, and lodged in the back of the driver's headrest.

[87] Oh, exclamation mark.

[88] exclamation mark exclamation mark but he didn't get shot yeah yeah so the guy speed off and tear they turned down our street and at about when they hit our driveway they realized the street is dead end so they pull in and ditch the car running into our backyard we're assuming the plan was to run through to another street but and luckily for them our yard backs up to a reservoir this is when the adrenaline starts wearing off and the driver realizes that he's spurting blood from his leg they get back to the front yard and call 911 That's when my neighbor's son, a former police officer and current owner of a tattoo parlor, a .k .a. a very big guy, comes over and shouts at them to, quote, get on the ground now.

[89] He ends up having to use his own belt to tourniqu at the guy's leg and probably saved his life.

[90] By then the cops are pulling up.

[91] The guy who was shot went to the hospital and the other three guys had to wait for one of their grandmas to pick them up since the cops towed the car for evidence.

[92] Oh my God Probably not a very Merry Christmas For any of them But hey, it could have been a lot worse Stay sexy And just legalized pot already Sarah It's true Don't ever use Listen, don't do drugs drugs are You know Drugs are drugs Don't use counterfeit money For anything Especially illegal things Not with a drug dealer No You fool I bet you they're not fucking around.

[93] You know where you use counterfeit money?

[94] Just this is off the top of my head.

[95] Like a red box machine.

[96] You know what I mean?

[97] Or somewhere, I guess I don't know if they take cash.

[98] Victimless.

[99] Something like that.

[100] Of ski ball.

[101] Like somewhere where you're just, you're hurting yourself.

[102] That would hurt the business too.

[103] But yeah.

[104] Don't use counterfeit money.

[105] But not with a drug dealer.

[106] Absolutely not.

[107] They always have guns.

[108] They have to.

[109] Oh my God.

[110] They have to.

[111] Wow.

[112] Yeah.

[113] So that's that.

[114] Okay.

[115] Hi, friends.

[116] I can't believe that after all these faithful murderino years, I never thought to send this to you.

[117] But after the documentary about the killer in question came up in a recent episode, my memory was jogged and I thought you might enjoy this story.

[118] A few years ago, one of the owners of my company was going through a full -on midlife crisis.

[119] Having recently separated from his high school sweetheart wife, he found himself heartbroken and rich with lots of wild oats to sew.

[120] So he did what most attract.

[121] recently single, wealthy men in their late 40s do, and he bought a sports car and got a killer bachelor pad and hosted Hefner level parties every night with 20 -something -year -old strippers.

[122] Yeah.

[123] So after enduring weeks of late -night drunken hot tub shenanigans, his downstairs neighbor was more than fed up.

[124] One morning, he awoke from his stupor to find a note taped to his front door that said, if I have to clean cigarette butts above my balcony one more night thanks to your parties you and I are going to have serious problems signed your downstairs neighbor unfazed he went about his day but happened to mention this note and its contents to his doorman as he was leaving for work the dormant's eyes immediately widened in a very concerned tone and he said sir do you know who your downstairs neighbor is to which the owner replied no why And the doorman paused, looked around, moved in closer, and said, sir, your neighbor is Robert Durst.

[125] I knew it.

[126] I was going to call it.

[127] Oh, my God.

[128] That's right.

[129] Robert fucking Durst.

[130] Suffice it to say a love note from a serial killer who was not only murdered his neighbor, but dismembered him too, was all that.

[131] Oh, shit.

[132] That's right.

[133] Oh, my God.

[134] Yes, it was his neighbor.

[135] Oh, my God.

[136] I totally didn't even think about that.

[137] That was all DB needed to put an immediate end to his party boy ways, for which.

[138] his liver and brain cells were eternally grateful.

[139] He even ended up reconciling with his wife.

[140] So I guess to some degree, Robert Durst saved not only his health, but also his marriage.

[141] Not really sure what we all can take from this one, except to say, stay sexy and maybe do some research to see if you have a neighbor dismembering serial killer in your building before you accidentally wind up on his bad side.

[142] Love y 'all.

[143] XOXO