MFM Minisode 111

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Hey, this is exciting.

[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[5] Who killed Saz?

[6] And were they really after Charles?

[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[8] This season, murder hits close to home.

[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[14] Only murders in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[15] Goodbye.

[16] Hello, and welcome.

[17] To my favorite murder.

[18] The minisode.

[19] Where you, your shit?

[20] It's things like email.

[21] with stories inside of them.

[22] That's it.

[23] Yeah.

[24] There's not a list.

[25] That's literally it.

[26] Would you like to go first this week?

[27] I wouldn't.

[28] Okay.

[29] I don't want to break tradition.

[30] Tradition.

[31] What for?

[32] Okay.

[33] Then the subject line of this is, I won't read it.

[34] Great.

[35] Do you want to go, me to go first, he can go last for once?

[36] Whatever you want.

[37] No, don't put it on me. I have a good lasty.

[38] Okay.

[39] Maybe.

[40] Do you have a good lasty?

[41] No, not like specifically for, no. Yeah, no. Mine, I have a feel -good lasty that's about grandparents.

[42] I'm going first.

[43] Do it.

[44] Let's break tradition.

[45] Maybe we should have these conversations off mic.

[46] Guys, this is the kind of solid gold content you can expect from us.

[47] That's right.

[48] Week after week.

[49] Do you like decisions?

[50] Listen up.

[51] Do you like live decisions as they're being made?

[52] Hot breaking decisions?

[53] Hot breaking decisions.

[54] People discussing things.

[55] This is called My Close Encounter with a Murder Cult.

[56] Hi guys, you guys are my favorite.

[57] I started listening after my girlfriend recommended your podcast.

[58] She also reminded me that I have an interesting story to share, so I thought I'd share.

[59] Great.

[60] I was born in Venezuela.

[61] When I was seven, my family had been making arrangements to move to the U .S. One day I was hanging out with my cousin who lived two or three miles from my grandparents' house in a rural town in the middle of nowhere, Venezuela.

[62] They wrote it like it.

[63] It was dark.

[64] My aunt reluctantly let me ride back to my grandma's house.

[65] This was a usually fun ride, just a. dirt road with nothing but vegetation on either side.

[66] I was enjoying the night noises.

[67] God, being outside alone as a kid at night.

[68] The best.

[69] If you're far away from the city, if you're nowhere Venezuela, I bet the stars are pretty rad.

[70] I bet.

[71] I was enjoying the night noises when all of a sudden there was complete silence.

[72] I could feel the tension in the air.

[73] I looked around me and noticed I was being surrounded by a group of people holding candles.

[74] What?

[75] They were chanting something I couldn't understand.

[76] When they got close enough to touch me, I rode as fast as I could all the way to my grandma's house.

[77] Once I got there, I jumped off my bike, ran to my grandma, held her tight and just cried.

[78] She saw the fear in my eyes and just held me. That morning, a girl that was close to my same age was found dead in close proximity to where I had been that night.

[79] No. Next to her body, there were candles, black feathers, and animal blood.

[80] This was the first in a series of child murders that happened in similar fashion, with candles and all the other items near the bodies.

[81] No one was ever charged for these murders.

[82] It still scares me to think of how close I was to being a sacrifice of a creepy cult that may still be in operation almost 20 years later.

[83] Holy shit.

[84] I would ask you guys to avoid riding a bike at night in the middle of nowhere, but let's be honest, there's no way you do that.

[85] You're too smart for that.

[86] So instead, stay sexy and don't get murdered.

[87] Thanks, Leo.

[88] Wow.

[89] I know.

[90] Oh, that's so creepy.

[91] It's creepy and so sad.

[92] And now I want to read all about it.

[93] But I would like to say this.

[94] Thank you, Leo, because the important point of that, it's like when we talk about being aware of your surroundings.

[95] Yeah.

[96] You're enjoying the night noises.

[97] It means something when all the crickets stop making noises.

[98] Totally.

[99] Like trust your weird little instincts.

[100] Yes.

[101] If you're, if the hair is going up on the back of your neck, it doesn't matter how normal people look.

[102] Yeah.

[103] Or how normal the situation is, get the fuck out of there.

[104] Even like, yeah, just trust it.

[105] Totally.

[106] Oh.

[107] Graepy.

[108] So close.

[109] Okay.

[110] So pretend this is new, I'm not going to tell you the subject line of this.

[111] Oh, okay, great.

[112] Oh, yeah.

[113] Okay.

[114] It starts.

[115] After hearing the SWAT team's story on a recent minisode, I decided y 'all needed to hear this story.

[116] Okay, good.

[117] When I was 16, my mom asked me if I wanted to fly out to Arizona and Colorado to visit her side of the family, aunts, uncles, and my same age that we hardly ever saw.

[118] I was nervous but stoked because I was clearly an adult and traveling alone for the first time.

[119] Oh, shit.

[120] Mm -hmm.

[121] So I flew to Colorado, spent a week with my family, and then my aunt was taking me to the airport to fly to Arizona.

[122] to spend another week with my family there and then home.

[123] My aunt took me as far as she could in the airport and then I told her I was fine.

[124] I grabbed a seat at my gate, took out my book and put on my headphones.

[125] A random man, mid -40s looking, came to my empty gate and decided the seat he should take was the one directly next to me. No, no, no. Immediately I was creeped out.

[126] I kept reading until he, of course, tapped me on the shoulder.

[127] Wait, how old is this person?

[128] 16.

[129] She's 16, he's mid -40s.

[130] Got it, got it, got it.

[131] He started asking me about myself and where I was going.

[132] No. I was so sketched out, I started lying.

[133] Made up a name.

[134] Made up the school I went to.

[135] Made up the town I was from.

[136] I was totally freaked.

[137] His questions felt so personal and unnecessary.

[138] They are.

[139] I kept putting my headphones back on, but he kept tapping my shoulder.

[140] No. Final straw, after about three attempts to ignore him, he pulls out his ticket and says, where are you sitting?

[141] I look at his ticket, knowing my own seat number, and start.

[142] to absolutely panic.

[143] This dude is next to me on the plane.

[144] I tell him I have to get some food, get up, and go straight to the airline desk.

[145] I tell them the whole thing that I'm super creeped out and tell them I will sit anywhere else.

[146] The airline says they cannot help me or move my seat.

[147] What?

[148] Uh -huh.

[149] So I go to the pay phones.

[150] This was in 2001 and I didn't have a cell phone, ha -ha.

[151] And I called my aunt.

[152] She could tell I was scared, but couldn't come back to the airport.

[153] She was headed to pick up her own kids from school.

[154] So she told me to go to the ladies' room.

[155] and stay there, so at least I didn't have to be near him until it was time for my flight.

[156] I went to the ladies' room to hyperventilate for a bit and eventually decided I needed to leave and go back to my gate.

[157] Yeah.

[158] Oh, no. As I left, there were two men in police uniforms at the bathroom door.

[159] They asked if I was Tara, and I said yes.

[160] They escorted me to my gate, and we walked past the man being searched, and his luggage emptied all over the airport floor.

[161] They took me to the gate where they told me I had a change seat, and I did.

[162] be seated first in first class yeah that's what i was hoping for yep i asked what was going on and they said your uncle dispatched us guys my uncle was the chief of the denver swat how fucking yeah he was this was a thing i knew but being the first time seeing them in person in years and whatnot i just hadn't put two and two together side note my uncle was the first person in the library after columbine oh my oh chills she said that's a whole other story and a terrible day downer of course.

[163] Anyway, back to the airport.

[164] I was escorted to first class and sat at the window seat of my row while the SWAT team officer stood at the aisle seat until the entire plane was loaded.

[165] Then I flew to Arizona where I was met with an escort from the Phoenix SWAT to get me to my family.

[166] For the record, this guy may have just been, may have a very different account of the story.

[167] And I could have just been a hyper -anxious 16 -year -old that humiliated a rando.

[168] No. Whatever.

[169] Doesn't matter.

[170] That's it.

[171] stay sexy and always have your uncles send the entire SWAT team to protect you when you're creeped out in an airport, Tara.

[172] But here's the thing, no, you're right.

[173] That man was talking, that 40 -year -old man was talking to it, repeatedly talking to a young teenager, not a college -age girl, a high schooler, and why was he sitting next to her?

[174] Like that, I don't believe that he didn't know he was sitting next to her.

[175] That's very weird.

[176] It really freaks me out.

[177] No. And, yeah, that's exactly it.

[178] And it's like even if maybe he was a nice guy who's being polite, don't fucking talk men.

[179] Don't talk to women unless they invite you to.

[180] But here's the thing.

[181] Normal men know that.

[182] Right.

[183] It's the thing of telling little kids, adults don't need your help.

[184] If an adult is asking for your help, there's something wrong.

[185] It's the exact same thing.

[186] And he's not reading fucking cues of her putting her fucking earphones back in her head.

[187] No one that taps you on the shoulder.

[188] There's boundaries issue.

[189] There's an information issue.

[190] Totally.

[191] Anyone that walks up and starts asking your name, where you live, anything, that's a person with an agenda.

[192] Fuck that person outright.

[193] Totally.

[194] No way.

[195] And I love, it's like, and don't be, if your uncle sent the entire SWAT and they were shooting up the ceiling, totally.

[196] Good.

[197] Because that means you're safe on that plane and nothing happened to you.

[198] And like, fucking shame on that airline representative who didn't, I thought that immediately she was going to like, I got you and put her in first.

[199] Yes.

[200] But no. They had to take it to the fucking SWAT.

[201] All the way to the SWAT.

[202] All the way to the SWAT.

[203] All the way.

[204] the SWAT but I mean like that's yeah I I feel like she was saying this was 2001 it's probably different now I don't think a teenage girl that was would go to them and say this is a problem would be like sorry and getting like I just don't think that's the world we're living anymore on the person I feel like I think because of Twitter and social media like they can't afford that shit anymore blow it blow it all up blow it all up I'm so glad it worked out that way because one time I just say this yeah and I'm still mad at myself even though it's not even anywhere near it.

[205] I was at LAX one time waiting for a flight and a guy came up and sat in the seat right next to me and started trying to sell me tickets to a pancake breakfast.

[206] And he was in my space and he was in my face and he wouldn't leave me alone.

[207] And the implicit message from him was, you have to buy these tickets for me to get away from you.

[208] And I did it.

[209] Well, you followed your instincts too, which is don't piss this guy.

[210] Like somewhere in your mind, it's don't.

[211] like yeah yeah I write it in the book of the fuck politeness chapter where it's like sometimes you can only fuck politeness to a certain level yeah and and feel safe yes sometimes you go along to get along and end the salute end the situation that's around you yeah but I'm still mad because what if it had gone really poorly if you had told me fuck off that's true but and also how did this person how was a person like this wandering around an airport it was preen it must have been pre -9 -11 so how are the pancakes they were so good and it was I met such a great church community there.

[212] Oh my God.

[213] Fuck everything.

[214] Fuck it all.

[215] Fuck everybody talking to you.

[216] Oh, God.

[217] Well, here's a good story.

[218] Actually, for this.

[219] My almost murder in the stairwell.

[220] Hi, Karen, Georgia.

[221] Stephen and furry friends.

[222] I work at an office building.

[223] You would normally need a key card for access.

[224] However, our floor was undergoing construction, so the security was lax.

[225] And there was a number of extra people coming and going for a few weeks.

[226] I should mention my mother has been embedding safety tips into my head since I was a teen.

[227] Don't take drinks from strangers, be aware of your surroundings and parking lots, don't wear a lanyard around your neck.

[228] Oh, just someone could grab it?

[229] I guess, yeah.

[230] And keep your keys in between your knuckles, et cetera.

[231] Pay special attention to that last one.

[232] Anyway, I was leaving work one day and took the stairwell, one, because it was much faster than waiting on the elevator.

[233] And two, I sit at a desk all day and thought I should get an minute of exercise.

[234] And then she writes, ha.

[235] I walked the floor flights down, noticed that.

[236] middle -aged man at the bottom.

[237] I said, hi, excuse me, and monitor and motion for the door because he was blocking it.

[238] He looked up on his phone, gave me the most creepy look slash stare, and lunged forward towards me putting his arms around me in a big bear hug.

[239] Uh -uh.

[240] My instincts kicked in immediately.

[241] I need him in the balls as hard as humanly possible and proceeded to stab him in the cheek with my fucking car key.

[242] He yelped, started crying like a little girl and yelled every obscenity possible at me, fucking asshole.

[243] Yeah, you're yelling at her.

[244] As I ran back up the four flights of stairs in a panic.

[245] I got to the reception desk, told her to call security while I dialed 911.

[246] This was before I listened to the podcast, so my fuck politeness attitude was non -existence.

[247] What are you talking about?

[248] You just beat the shit out of this guy.

[249] It was right there, baby.

[250] Don't you worry about your fuck -plightness.

[251] Well, then she says, looking back my dainty, excuse me, was so stupid.

[252] I should have immediately turned around and went back upstairs when I saw someone I didn't recognize, but that's not true.

[253] I mean, you tried your best to be a human.

[254] It turns out this person wasn't.

[255] Yeah.

[256] And so you fucking defended yourself.

[257] Yeah, you were acting like how normal people act with normal people.

[258] Right.

[259] And even if you had gotten attacked and raped and hadn't fought him off, it's not, you didn't do anything wrong.

[260] I hate everyone so much.

[261] Side note, had I not taken my car to work that day, I would have only had a key fob on my keychain.

[262] But because I drove my husband's car to work, I had a nice chunky key.

[263] to stab that motherfucker with.

[264] Anyway, stay sexy and don't get murdered.

[265] Please come back to Orlando soon.

[266] Love Sarah from Florida.

[267] Oh, that's an amazing story.

[268] Also, the presence of mind just to go right for the balls in that in that moment.

[269] Because I think a lot of times you would just freeze up.

[270] I know I would.

[271] I'm sure I would.

[272] Or they would be prepared for the need.

[273] That's what I always fear is that they're going to be like, I, you know, I imagine kicking someone in the dick daily.

[274] Oh.

[275] And I always imagine that maybe they'll be prepared for it.

[276] block it be wearing a cup like from their JV baseball team that's right or be a eunuch or you know then what are they doing what are they doing this for I live in Narnia just in my mind my imagination is insane don't forget you can gouge eyes also ooh that's something someone someone said recently because they said in they teach you this again we have to do oh my god we have to do a self -defense class but they say that you don't think of it because it's so extreme.

[277] Right.

[278] But if you have a free hand, go right for the, go the eyes, nose, put a finger up the nose.

[279] So, yeah, it poked someone in the eye, right?

[280] Like, bink.

[281] You get to the eye tissue, you get up the nose, you do whatever you can invasively.

[282] Don't be afraid to shove a key in an ear.

[283] I feel like a forehead to a nose bridge would be a great.

[284] Yes, smack that motherfucker on the bridge of their nose.

[285] That's the Belfast Good Morning.

[286] I don't know.

[287] I don't know what's going on.

[288] I wish people greeted each other like that.

[289] Oh, boom.

[290] In Narnia.

[291] Classic headbutton Narnia.

[292] Okay.

[293] This is like choice.

[294] Italian pizza box, Italian chef finger kiss.

[295] Okay.

[296] I'm not going to read you the subject line.

[297] Hello, beautiful ladies, Stephen, and fur babies.

[298] I was listening to the minisode when you read the story about the girl trying to scare her grandmother, but instead it was someone trying to break in and it reminded me of this story both my brother and his wife used to be cops they both switched professions and are firefighters now they have always taught their kids what to do in emergency situations one day my niece who was about 10 years old at the time was at her friend's house while while there someone broke into her friend's house and threatened everyone inside my niece was able to sneak away and head home but instead of calling for help she grabbed my brother's gun loaded it and went back to her friend's house.

[299] They lived next door.

[300] She walked in, aimed the gun at the man, and told him to get out of the house.

[301] Luckily, this was enough to scare away the man, and he left without harming anyone.

[302] Holy shit.

[303] Ten years old.

[304] Needless to say, my brother and his wife were both proud and horrified, found out what happened.

[305] And needless to say, they moved their guns to a different location, locked them up, and had a long chat with their kids about the correct way to handle a situation like that telling them about how to how to defend yourself but didn't start with number one call the police yes you're not the police you're 10 you're in a fourth grade and you don't have to take this on this is not this is for adults yeah although you did you did therefore you're the most badass 10 year old of all time and i will never stop smiling because i've heard your story stay sexy and teach your kids to call 911 instead of taking on a burglar by your yourself, Sherry.

[306] Amazing.

[307] I love that 10 -year -old girl.

[308] Maybe I'll have one kid.

[309] Just one.

[310] Maybe I'll have one 10 -year -old.

[311] I'll just have a 10 -year -old.

[312] I picture this little girl.

[313] This is when I first read this and I could not stop giggling.

[314] I pictured that it's like a terrible home invasion scene.

[315] And I picture a little girl with pigtails sliding backwards over the back of a couch, like when no one's looking.

[316] Like a slug?

[317] Just kind of sliding back.

[318] Maybe she's double -joined.

[319] and just kind of puts all of her things at a joint.

[320] Very circus style.

[321] She's Cirque du Soleil backwards over the couch.

[322] She becomes liquid.

[323] She's liquids out the door, form of, an ice cube shape of.

[324] But then it's pigtails kicking the door in with the gun going get out of this motherfuckin' house.

[325] She's got racist.

[326] Hey, motherfucker.

[327] Clead motherfucker.

[328] She takes out a retainer so she can say it really clearly.

[329] Oh, I just.

[330] Love it.

[331] Amen.

[332] Children do not touch guns.

[333] Don't fuck.

[334] Lock up your guns, everyone.

[335] Everybody lock your guns.

[336] Children never touch guns.

[337] It's not, don't touch guns.

[338] We don't think it's cool.

[339] Also, don't listen to this podcast of your child.

[340] Get the fuck out of here.

[341] What are you doing?

[342] Ten?

[343] Get out of here.

[344] Except for you, little little hero.

[345] Yeah, a little punky bruster.

[346] You little badass punky bruster hero.

[347] Hey, this is exciting.

[348] An all new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[349] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

[350] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[351] Who killed Saz?

[352] And were they really after Charles?

[353] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[354] This season, murder hits close to home.

[355] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[356] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[357] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[358] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[359] Get ready for the starry of season.

[360] Zignette with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, Davey, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[361] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[362] Goodbye.

[363] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[364] Absolutely.

[365] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash?

[366] Exactly.

[367] And if you're a small business owner, you might know Shopify is great for online sales.

[368] But did you know that they also power in -person sales?

[369] That's right.

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[371] Give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.

[372] From accepting payments to managing inventory, they have everything you need to sell in person.

[373] So give your point -of -sale system a serious upgrade with Shopify.

[374] Their sleek, reliable POS hardware takes every major payment method and looks fabulous at the same time.

[375] With Shopify, we have a powerful partner.

[376] for managing our sales.

[377] And if you're a business owner, you can too.

[378] Connect with customers in line and online.

[379] Do retail right with Shopify.

[380] Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify .com slash murder.

[381] Important note, that promo code is all lowercase.

[382] Go to Shopify .com slash murder to take your retail business to the next level today.

[383] That's Shopify .com slash murder.

[384] Goodbye.

[385] Okay.

[386] I have one and then you have an ending, right?

[387] Yes.

[388] Okay.

[389] Worst and then in parentheses best, field trip ever.

[390] Hello, Karen, Georgia, Stephen, and friends.

[391] I'm from a very small town in South Carolina, so small that we actually shared a high school with the neighboring town, and my graduating class still had fewer than 400 people.

[392] It occurred to me while listening to a mini -said this morning that I have a gruesome -slash -delightful story to tell you from my time at this tiny, otherwise boring school.

[393] In early 2001, my 10th grade civics class went on a field trip to the county courthouse.

[394] I'd say there were about 40 or so of us, plus our sweet little lady teacher and a couple of chaperones who were being allowed to sit in on some small claims cases so that we could get an idea of what really happens in courtrooms and how justice is served in podunk, South Carolina.

[395] Here's the thing.

[396] The docket was changed between the time the field trip was planned and the morning we arrived in court.

[397] Instead of watching folks get slapped with fines for parking violations and other petty crimes of that nature, we were treated to testimony for, yep, a grisly murder trial.

[398] Whoa.

[399] For over an hour, we got to hear some of the more unsavory details of a man who had murdered his girlfriend, chopped her into a variety of pieces, tucked her away in an old chest freezer, and dumped her and dumped it in the woods where it was later found by hunters.

[400] Oh, no. I cannot begin to imagine all caps.

[401] What the fuck they were thinking by not informing the school district of the change, or by letting us into that courtroom when we got there, or what was going through our teacher's minds when they decided we should, stay for the whole tour.

[402] Yeah, for real.

[403] I bet their teachers were scared because they were in court.

[404] They didn't want to, like, get everyone up and move them all out during the proceedings.

[405] Or they were into it.

[406] Or they loved it.

[407] They're murdering announcement?

[408] I think we paid a whopping $10 per kid, so clearly it would have been a tragic to let a penny of that go to waste, which is probably why the court didn't.

[409] We weren't like, you shouldn't come today.

[410] Yeah, they were like, we need it.

[411] Yeah.

[412] And yes, they still took us to lunch afterward, to a Quincy's buffet.

[413] I don't know what that is.

[414] I'm imagining it's like a buffet.

[415] It's a buffet based off of the 70s series.

[416] Quincy.

[417] It's all about the coroner.

[418] It's all vintage.

[419] It's all vintage food.

[420] It's a buffet off of medical tables from the coroner's office.

[421] God.

[422] Stop it.

[423] To be fair, I think only one of my classmates threw up.

[424] Stay sexy.

[425] Don't get murdered.

[426] And for fuck's sake, verify the docket before taking a bunch of 15 -year -olds to sit in on a trial, Sarah.

[427] Oh.

[428] Can you imagine?

[429] It's like you're the teacher and you're just like, now if so there's 30 kids if we all get up at once this is the amount of noise we're going to make this is how mad that's the you know sheriff's deputy is going to be sure instead of being like hi i 15 year olds and they shouldn't be here what the fuck is wrong we're leaving yeah you need to pause for a hot second yeah no no don't don't interrupt have you been in a courtroom like that though no it's really intimidating is it I had to go in for I was in a like the middle car in a car somewhere somebody stopped and then someone hit me and I was So freaked out.

[430] And it was just the Burbank, like, city hall or whatever.

[431] It's just so grandios and intimidating.

[432] Yes.

[433] And it's like, you know, that person is the one that decides.

[434] One wrong move and they can fucking send you to prison?

[435] I don't know.

[436] Can they do that?

[437] I mean, it felt like it.

[438] Yeah.

[439] And I was like, oh, I'm just here to say that I was in the middle.

[440] Yeah.

[441] And then they basically said, this guy that got hit by me because the person hit me. I stopped in time.

[442] But then the person behind me hit me and rammed me into the car in front of me. And the man, the The old man in the car in front of me wanted all of us to buy him a new car, basically.

[443] And so I was just there to be like, here's my insurance and here's what happened and I don't know what else to tell you.

[444] And I got dismissed out of it because, like, it was basically between the car that hit me and the guy I hit.

[445] And so I got to leave mid thing and I was thrilled.

[446] You were the fucking middle of a sandwich of people.

[447] I was the lucky Pierre.

[448] Okay.

[449] Read me the last one.

[450] I'm excited.

[451] Okay.

[452] This is good.

[453] Okay, great.

[454] My grandparents, the baby smugglers.

[455] Oh, shit.

[456] Uh -huh.

[457] Hi, Karen, Georgia, Stephen, and significant others.

[458] Oh, that's nice.

[459] Yes.

[460] You did it.

[461] My grandparents lived in Nazi -occupied Holland during World War II.

[462] Whoa.

[463] Opo was both a part of the Dutch underground and high up in a shipping company in the north part of the country.

[464] One of the activities of the underground was to smuggle Jewish babies from the major cities to the north where they would be placed with families until they could, hopefully, be reunited with their families after the war.

[465] Babies would be placed in the holes of boats and ships and open OMA would help to smuggle them out at the other end.

[466] Oh my chills.

[467] Babies used to arrive with labels on their identification details pinned to their backs.

[468] Oma used to tell the story that on one trip the person placing the babies on the boat clearly didn't read the instructions and put the labels around the baby's wrists.

[469] And when the boat arrived in the north, the babies had chewed off their identification tags, meaning there was no way of knowing who they were.

[470] While I'm tempted to be super critical, I have to remember that this person was risking their own life to try to save others.

[471] Anyway, the Nazis ended up taking Opa for questioning three times, and he managed to talk his way out of it each time.

[472] On occasion, the family had to go into hiding.

[473] The neighbors would come in and take all of their furniture to protect them from looting.

[474] They would return, and then they would return it when things died down.

[475] Oh, my God.

[476] I have to say that I'm pretty proud of the fact that my grandparents did something when it would have been easier and safer to do nothing.

[477] Oh, it's so true.

[478] I clung to this when my omah got older and used to drive me absolutely friggin' nuts.

[479] Quote, you should wear your glasses more often.

[480] You look so ugly without them.

[481] Oh, grandma.

[482] Grandma.

[483] And she said, the last line is, saving babies gives you a lot of leeway.

[484] That's such a, like, from the past thing for a grandma to say.

[485] I love it.

[486] Stay sexy and remember to pay attention to the details when smuggling small children.

[487] Christy.

[488] Oh, my God.

[489] Isn't that awesome?

[490] Yes.

[491] That's a feel good World War II story.

[492] An anecdote.

[493] Yeah.

[494] So from now on, we'll say, do you have a good ending or do you have a good ending?

[495] And we'll decide based on that who goes first.

[496] Great.

[497] Yeah, I think we've done that before.

[498] Probably.

[499] And we were like, we're going to do that from now on.

[500] Yeah.

[501] And then we did it.

[502] Let's do it.

[503] Okay, great.

[504] I forgot.

[505] All right.

[506] Send us your emails.

[507] My favorite murder at Gmail.

[508] We fucking love your story.

[509] stories thank you guys for writing in there's always so good always we love these uh and stay sexy don't get murdered goodbye goodbye elvis do you want a cookie