"Weird Al" Yankovic

[0] Hi, my name is Weird Al Yankovic.

[1] You can call me Al. And, uh, I am figuratively tickled pink to be Conan O 'Brien's friend.

[2] Please hear hear the yell.

[3] Back to school.

[4] Ring the bell.

[5] Brand new shoes.

[6] Walk and lose.

[7] Climb the fence, books and pens.

[8] I can tell that we are going to be friends.

[9] I can tell that we are going to be friends.

[10] Hey there.

[11] Welcome to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend, joined as always by my faithful assistant, Sonam Obsessian.

[12] Hey, Sona.

[13] Hi, Conan.

[14] How are you?

[15] Yeah, I'm okay.

[16] Yeah?

[17] You feeling all right?

[18] No, I'm not.

[19] I'm very pregnant, but I'm okay.

[20] You were incredibly pregnant.

[21] I found out today, I have two babies that are both weighing over six pounds.

[22] Wow.

[23] I'm carrying 12 pounds of just human.

[24] It sounds like they're fully clothed in utero.

[25] They're wearing heavy corduroyd jackets, and they've got work boots on.

[26] That's 48 McDonald's quarter -pounders.

[27] Good God.

[28] Now I want McDonald's.

[29] But that's a lot of baby.

[30] Yeah.

[31] I will compliment you, and Matt, you will back me up on this.

[32] You have visited the show a couple of times recently.

[33] Yeah.

[34] You're not allowed to drive, but your very nice, cool husband, tack, drives you.

[35] and you'll visit us on the set and everyone says the same thing.

[36] You have two babies and they're all concentrated in this one area of your body and the rest of you just looks amazing.

[37] You just look...

[38] Not that, I mean...

[39] That's true.

[40] And all the women are freaked out.

[41] They're like, oh my God, if you just, you know, didn't know...

[42] Yeah.

[43] If you didn't look at that one part of your body where it looks like someone is trying to hide...

[44] I'll just say it.

[45] One of those mini fridges under your dress.

[46] Oh, you really romanticized pregnancy.

[47] Yeah.

[48] Well, instead of, you know, some Coors Light, you've got two 26 -pound babies in you.

[49] But no, but you really look amazing.

[50] That's what I'm saying.

[51] It took me a long time to get there, but everyone says it.

[52] You look very beautiful.

[53] That's very nice.

[54] I feel like I kind of actually maybe lost weight, but yeah, which is weird.

[55] But I'm cool.

[56] I feel like I'm crushing it.

[57] And, yeah, I'm just ready.

[58] You're ready?

[59] This is the stage.

[60] I remember my wife, both times, being very ready towards the end.

[61] Like, I think she said, get this monster out of me. Yeah, I'm ready.

[62] I'm ready.

[63] Sleeping, moving, doing anything.

[64] I'm ready.

[65] Right.

[66] And what about you, Matt?

[67] I'm good.

[68] I'm hanging in there.

[69] I mean, I'm no champ like Sona.

[70] You're an inspiration, Sona.

[71] You look amazing.

[72] And it's incredible all you do during all of this.

[73] Thanks, Matt.

[74] You're welcome.

[75] Science is going to make it possible.

[76] for a man to carry a child.

[77] I would love to.

[78] I would love to.

[79] Would you?

[80] Yes, I would.

[81] I'm kind of jealous.

[82] I'm going to be very honest.

[83] I'm not jealous at all.

[84] I think you're insane.

[85] Really?

[86] The miracle of childbirth?

[87] Yeah, but I just, I'm freaking me out right now.

[88] Just thinking about it.

[89] Gorely, think about you carrying a child.

[90] Yeah, think about it.

[91] Yeah.

[92] Waddle in.

[93] Like, I sit down and I go, oh.

[94] Hi, guys.

[95] Well, that's not that different from what you do now.

[96] I know, that's true.

[97] You don't really waddle, but you're...

[98] This transformation that you just went into is the first man to give birth.

[99] How little I know.

[100] Let's see, yeah.

[101] Hi, guys.

[102] No, I, it is, of course, the miracle of life.

[103] It is.

[104] Twins.

[105] Twins.

[106] And you're going to instantly have these two humans.

[107] Yeah, yeah, I am.

[108] Any thoughts about what they might look like?

[109] ever try and picture them?

[110] I think they're going to be two little hairy Armenian babies.

[111] I'm sorry.

[112] I don't know how to, they're going to be, you know, like olive -skinned.

[113] They're going to have a lot of hair.

[114] You make it something that they're going to be born fully bearded.

[115] Are they going to have thick beards?

[116] Eight pounds of that 12 is just hair.

[117] They could have be, they can have beards by the time they're like two, I think.

[118] I don't know.

[119] Wow.

[120] Yeah, I don't know.

[121] They'll be born and then like, Literally three hours later, they'll have to shave.

[122] The nurse is here.

[123] No, I'm fine.

[124] I can breastfeed.

[125] No, no, no. She's here to shave them.

[126] She's just wearing a barber's smog.

[127] Yeah, she's like, I don't want to take care of that.

[128] And the baby's like, what are you reading the papers?

[129] You're going to want to eat hummus instead of breast milk.

[130] When I was born, my mom said that I was a fat little Buddha, a little fat baby.

[131] Oh, wow.

[132] And she said that I had bright orange, wispy orangutang hair that was like sticking straight up.

[133] Oh, that's adorable.

[134] Yeah.

[135] Did she say it in a loving way or was she like, I was horrified?

[136] No, she was not horrified.

[137] But I was the only one.

[138] There's, you know, six siblings in my family.

[139] And I was the only one with that kind of orange copper hair.

[140] And so it was, you know, even when I showed up, you know, people were like, what's this all about?

[141] You know, there's a buzz that went through the hallway.

[142] Oh, come.

[143] Come on.

[144] And people are like, this kid's going to do things someday.

[145] Someday he's going to have a podcast.

[146] I was a really ugly baby, and my mom cried when she saw me. What?

[147] Really?

[148] Yeah, and she loves telling me this story, which is, I don't know why, but she cried because she thought I was ugly.

[149] And then the nurse was like, she's not always going to look like that.

[150] I'm preparing you.

[151] Things can get mushed around a little bit.

[152] My daughter, when she was born, was absolutely beautiful, just stunningly beautiful.

[153] And my son is a very handsome.

[154] young man, very good looking guy.

[155] Yes, he is.

[156] But when he was born, you know, it's quite a traumatic process and the face is very malleable when the child is born.

[157] So I got a look at the baby and so did Liza and we were concerned because he looked like Ed Asner after a bar fight.

[158] He really did.

[159] Looked like he had gone like he had fought off like six people.

[160] he looked like an angry old sports writer who had tried his hand at boxing and it hadn't gone well that's what he looked like and we were just like oh well I'm sure he'll be a kind person oh my God and then literally within like three days he started to look completely different and I was like oh right you know the trauma of childbirth I'm gonna say thank God he has no memory of that but you've recorded it here for all times Oh, no. Every day I tell him, man, you first, I mean, every day at breakfast, he'll show, he'll arrive.

[161] And I'll say, man, when you showed up, you were just a hot fucking mess.

[162] And then I'm like, waffles?

[163] Oh, my God.

[164] Very happy about our guest today.

[165] Please, very pleased with our guests today.

[166] There's no transition here.

[167] You don't need transitions in a podcast.

[168] You just get right into it.

[169] It's very informal.

[170] Hey, man, this is who I am.

[171] My guest today is a five -time Grammy Award -winning musician and comedian who has recorded some of the most successful song parodies of all time.

[172] I don't even have to say his name.

[173] Everyone knows this gentleman.

[174] Weird Al Yankovic, welcome, sir.

[175] Everybody I talk to, I think the ratio is usually you can get up to like 80 % of the people like them.

[176] 10 % are indifferent, 10 % dislike.

[177] With Weird Al Yankovic, it's crazy.

[178] It's like 100 % happiness about the man. And I think Tom Hanks approaches that level.

[179] Yeah.

[180] But Weird Al, if that's even your real name, which I highly doubt.

[181] I'd like to see your birth certificate before this is over.

[182] Would you?

[183] Okay, I got it in the safe.

[184] Okay, yeah.

[185] I'll look at yours is in a safe.

[186] I didn't know.

[187] That's the first thing to go for in home invasions.

[188] Give me your birth certificate.

[189] I taped mine to the windshield.

[190] Your birth certificate of your life.

[191] Yeah.

[192] I want that birth certificate, see?

[193] Well, there's jewels over there.

[194] And, no, the thing that you've done is you brought your fans with you.

[195] So you've made all these fans in the 1980s, and they've grown along with you, and now some of them are in their 80s, 90s.

[196] You're very big with Korean War veterans.

[197] Huge.

[198] And then, but you've also got, like, my son is 15, and he's been a fan of yours for years.

[199] And in fact, I'm so sorry.

[200] I know.

[201] He was willful, and we didn't get along.

[202] So I sent him to military school.

[203] Good, yeah.

[204] in Switzerland, which ironically is always a mutual place.

[205] But anyway, and what's really interesting is he knew your parody of American Pie, the Star Wars song.

[206] He knew that version of American Pie and didn't know that it was based on Don McClain's American Pie and then later learned Don McClain's American Pie and that became one of his favorite songs.

[207] But people know, especially young people, they know your music first and then they find out later run that, you know, Prince or Michael Jackson or someone recorded it, which is very strange.

[208] You know, that happened specifically with American Pie because that was based on an early 70s Don McLean song.

[209] And the kids that were listening to Radio Disney in the early 90s were that familiar with Don McLean.

[210] And when they heard my Star Wars parody, they just assumed I had written an original song.

[211] And the funny thing was, the next year, Madonna did a cover version of American and all these kids were going, why is Madonna doing like an unfunny version of a weird owl song?

[212] No, it would be great if it became a trend for a whole new generation of young recording artists to do versions of your songs, not knowing that they were based on these other songs, and then just get tied up in a legal fight.

[213] You know, that would be my favorite part.

[214] It's just, you know what you should also do is you should launch just frivolous lawsuits against the Michael Jackson estate or the Prince of State or any of these people, Madonna, you should go after these people.

[215] Yes, eventually you'd lose because you clearly, their songs came first, but you don't know what kind of jury you're going to get.

[216] You might win.

[217] But I got time.

[218] This could be the whole third act of my career.

[219] It could be just nothing but litigious, you know, lawsuits like all the time, like not going to record anything else and I got a tour.

[220] Just sue people.

[221] I would just love it if you just spent this whole, as you say, the third of what will be eventually seven.

[222] acts, but you spend this third act just tying people up in the courts, and they're calling you and they're saying, you know, no, Al, you know I recorded this in 1988, and you recorded yours in 1991, and you're like, I know, I know, I'll see you in court.

[223] I will see you in court.

[224] Facts don't matter anymore.

[225] They don't.

[226] You know, I make up my own reality.

[227] Roll with it.

[228] Come on.

[229] I'm going to put you in the top five live performances ever done on my show.

[230] You did a performance on the Warner Brothers lot where you came up through the back, up the stairs, and the camera was tracking you.

[231] And it was explosive.

[232] It was great.

[233] And it's really interesting because I'm putting you in with the B -52s and Neil Young.

[234] You did this great moving tracking shop that you had worked out and you came up the stairs.

[235] You sang the whole song and you worked your way through the audience and ended up on stage.

[236] And it was really electric.

[237] And I was like, all right.

[238] This man is in the top tier, so I give it to you.

[239] That's so nice to hear, man. Thank you so much.

[240] I don't mean any of it.

[241] I'm an empty shell.

[242] Well, you knew that.

[243] I'm operated.

[244] I'm like a Hall of the Presidents, Pan Amatron.

[245] In fact, half these podcasts have been done by the Theodore Roosevelt Robot from Disney.

[246] You're one of the first celebrities that I was ever in a room with.

[247] Is that true?

[248] You weren't aware of it.

[249] I came in and watched you sleep.

[250] The year was 1986, and I felt your presence.

[251] And I figured out where you lived and I climbed up and I came into your room and I just stared at you for a long time.

[252] And I did that.

[253] I used to do that.

[254] Oh, okay.

[255] Yeah, did that with Catherine Hepburn.

[256] Anyway, one of the first things I did when I was out here in L .A. is I've volunteered at Comic Relief.

[257] And I was a brand new, freshly minted 22 -year -old comedy writer who looked, I think, like an 18 -year -old, you know, girl.

[258] And I was, working at Comic Relief, which was, it was the very first one, and they were looking for volunteers, so I volunteered, and I was assigned to Estelle Getty from the Golden Girls.

[259] They said, you just have to get coffee for Estelle Getty.

[260] Oh, she's a taskmaster.

[261] Yes, she was brutal, by the way, brutal.

[262] She carried a leather truncheon and would just whackin people with it, which was a little known fact about Estelle Getty.

[263] Absolutely true.

[264] Don't even bother looking it up.

[265] But I was in a room, and you came into the room and lay down on a couch.

[266] and uh that's what i do yes you just lay down on a couch i started chatting with you and i the only part of our conversation i remember because i had never this is like my first time seeing any celebrities so you're a big deal you come in you lie down on the couch and at one point i remember asking you about i think i asked you about prince and you said you know he's much smaller in person than you would think he is he's a he's uh he's much smaller than he and i was like oh but you're being very nice about it you were just describing him physically in case uh i was ever attacked by him.

[267] I remember totally differently.

[268] I remember you walked into the room and I said, chocolate.

[269] Bring me chocolate.

[270] And you said, I'm sorry.

[271] I'm sorry.

[272] I work for Estelle Getty today.

[273] And I said, you'll never work in this town again.

[274] Yes.

[275] And you're, you were right for years.

[276] You put an embargo on me. I would try to get work.

[277] And they would say until Weird Al lifts his embargo.

[278] So I called you and I said, Weird Al. And you said, just Al is fine.

[279] And I said, okay, Al, how do I get to work in this town again?

[280] And you said, bring me the chocolate.

[281] So remember it, I brought you the chocolate and I gave it to you and then you lifted the fatwa against me and I was allowed to work in television once again.

[282] You're welcome.

[283] And it wasn't good chocolate.

[284] It wasn't even, it wasn't good.

[285] It wasn't that good.

[286] I thought you were going to watch some...

[287] It was 65 % Coco.

[288] I know.

[289] It was Hershey's.

[290] And no, I'm not putting Hershey's.

[291] It was something you could have gotten anywhere.

[292] It just seemed very petty of you.

[293] I remember that thinking, what a...

[294] I just wanted it from you.

[295] Yeah.

[296] And then as I was leaving, you said, oh, and one more thing, Prince is smaller than you think he is.

[297] And I said, that's not necessary.

[298] That's not necessary.

[299] He's like microscopic.

[300] Yeah, and you were just stuffing chocolate, this cheap chocolate into your face.

[301] The cheaper the better.

[302] I know, I didn't understand any of it.

[303] You are, this is known about you, but you're an extremely kind person.

[304] You're very nice person.

[305] I don't know what that's all about because I decided a long time ago I'm not going that way.

[306] Yeah.

[307] I mean, I'm flattered and a little confused when somebody brings it up.

[308] I like being thought of as a nice person.

[309] But virtually everybody that I know in Hollywood, except for you, of course, is very nice.

[310] I don't see the profit in it.

[311] I don't see, I'll be honest with you, I don't see, what do I get out of being a, quote, nice guy?

[312] And I've seen you and Hanks and people try it.

[313] And I'm like, okay, whatever.

[314] But I don't buy it.

[315] It's not for me. It's not the way I want to go.

[316] I think I'll be remembered longer if I'm an incredible prick.

[317] But no, I don't know, you know, it's funny because I do relate to you in certain ways, which is there are a lot of people that get into comedy that are, you read about their childhoods and they're the bad boys or whatever, or their drifters or loners.

[318] You, I think, were like me in that we were both, and this is a shameful thing to admit later on when you're in comedy, is that you were a good student.

[319] Yeah, I mean, when I write, it's not like white and nerdy that come from decades of, experience.

[320] You know, that that song just took a few minutes to scribble down, but it took a lifetime to write.

[321] But yeah, I was my high school valedictorian.

[322] I graduated when I was 16 years old because I skipped second grade.

[323] And I was always like the nerdy kid.

[324] And I wasn't voted like class clown or best sense of humor.

[325] I just thought it was like, you know, the nerd.

[326] And it wasn't until I started doing college radio that that I kind of allowed that part of me to blossom them a little bit more.

[327] I was always just sort of like ostracized and like the guy eating by myself at lunch.

[328] Well, I'm that guy now.

[329] No one will leave with me. And then you find that radio, there was something about radio that brought it out of you because no one's looking at you.

[330] There's air to fill.

[331] And so that's when this part of you can emerge and sort of evolve.

[332] Is that right?

[333] Yeah, I started doing college radio very early on.

[334] And that's where I officially became Weird Al. it took on the name Weird Al to do the Weird Al Show on KCPR, San Luis Obispo.

[335] And every Saturday night for three hours, I got to take a break from my architecture work.

[336] I was majoring in architecture, which is a horrifyingly punishing major.

[337] They called it Archer Torture.

[338] And it was just nice to have a release.

[339] Like for three hours Saturday night, I could let it all out and do crazy characters and have my friends on the air and play bizarre music and just be a goofball.

[340] And it was like, it was my only joy.

[341] really during my college years, and by the time I was graduating, I was thinking, why shouldn't I just do the stuff that makes me joyful in life?

[342] So that was kind of led me on this path that I'm on to the stay.

[343] That's interesting that you had that thought, because I fought that for a long time.

[344] I was raised Catholic, and I just had that ingrained suspicion of anything that felt good or too joyful or too easy.

[345] I had a hard time reconciling that your work could be joyful and joyous.

[346] If it's not painful, like it's not really worth.

[347] Yes.

[348] Is that how you felt?

[349] I don't think you had that.

[350] Not so much, although I just, you know, I never thought that I would have a career in show business because that, you know, what are the odds?

[351] Right.

[352] I grew up playing the accordion.

[353] You know, I don't, I know that you would probably disagree, but I don't have classic movie star looks.

[354] That was my third question is, how did you get classic movie star looks?

[355] We'll get to that.

[356] We'll get to that.

[357] scratch out.

[358] I just figured that, you know, I wasn't cut out for that.

[359] And I, you know, I had my rockstar fantasies like every other 14 -year -old.

[360] But I just never thought that I would have a living doing something that I really enjoy.

[361] Right.

[362] And nowadays, you know, with a few mouse clicks, anybody can upload their material to the internet.

[363] And if it's good enough, people will find out about it.

[364] So it's just amazing.

[365] The access that people have to fame these days.

[366] Well, it's revolutionized things completely because I was, you know, I mean, Fox is brand new when I get started in the business.

[367] So there's really still, I'm living kind of in a three -network reality.

[368] Cable is something that if you want to watch it, you have to check into a motel.

[369] And I mean, I literally worked for a show on HBO, and I remembered, you know, thinking if my parents are going to see this, they're going to have to check into the Radisson, which had a big sign out front that said, we have HBO.

[370] So it was a different era.

[371] It's hard to explain that to people now.

[372] But now there's so many young people or just people in general that would want to do what you're doing.

[373] And you think about how improbable it would be to get song parodies produced and marketed in mass media in the old system versus today where I think what's raised the bar for everybody is that we're all competing not against each other, meaning other comedians, can we think of something funnier than them, we're competing against 340 million Americans.

[374] That's just in America.

[375] Forget the rest of the world just for a second.

[376] It really raises the bar.

[377] I mean, you can't go for the low -hanging fruit anywhere.

[378] And I'm sure, you know, as somebody that, you know, does a monologue, you have the same problem because any kind of topical news event, you know, there'll be people on Twitter that will have made the obvious joke 40 times already.

[379] Yes, and that's why...

[380] You always have to go for this joke that you don't think somebody else has made a whole thing.

[381] No, it's almost impossible to think of your first or second or third pass at a joke has been covered by somebody somewhere.

[382] So then it's almost like you've got to get to your fifth and sixth and seventh pass at the joke.

[383] The one way you can be certain that nobody else has done it is if the joke makes absolutely no sense.

[384] Right.

[385] Just a random string of words.

[386] So I'm curious because you had a choice as a young man between two inches.

[387] instruments, guitar, or accordion.

[388] It almost sounds like the devil appeared to you and made you this choice.

[389] I was at the crossroads.

[390] Yeah, you're at the crossroads.

[391] That's right.

[392] You're at the crossroads and the devil appears with an accordion.

[393] There's no blue song where that happens, by the way.

[394] Right.

[395] You know, I was six years old at the time, so I'm going to guess, I don't remember it clearly, but I'm going to guess that decision was made for me. I can't imagine I was begging my appearance for accordion lessons.

[396] And there was another accordion.

[397] playing Yankevick, Frankie Yankevick from Cleveland, who is known as America's Polka King.

[398] And we had some of his old records in the attic.

[399] And my parents just thought, well, we have the same surname.

[400] There should be at least one more accordion playing Yankevick in the world.

[401] So they figured, you know, I'm sorry, but what an odd channel of thought.

[402] There's another Yankevick who plays the accordion.

[403] Ergo, you must play the accordion.

[404] So, like, my last name was Hendricks, I, you know, I couldn't take the accordion lessons, right?

[405] I mean, come on.

[406] You're right, you're right.

[407] I think you did the right thing.

[408] Also, I'll tell you this, and I've only noticed this, you've been kind enough to do my show several times over the years, and every time I see you in person and you've got your accordion, those things are absolutely gorgeous.

[409] They're beautiful.

[410] But they're beautiful.

[411] I mean, I don't think people realize how intricate they are and the inlay and their gorgeous machinery.

[412] Sometimes they go for like $300 bucks on Craigslist.

[413] I mean, they go for the big money.

[414] Is that really?

[415] What's the most you can spend on an accordion?

[416] Well, I actually have bought a couple accordions off of Craigslist for about that much.

[417] Yeah, because for some reason, people are dying to get rid of them.

[418] I don't know why.

[419] I've often walked down the street and just seen people throwing them out the window.

[420] And, of course, they make that whin' -a -we -on sound as they go down the street like a spring.

[421] Plus the Doppler effect, which adds to it.

[422] Okay.

[423] I mean, I have that worked into my calculations here.

[424] I'm drawing out this joke as I think of it.

[425] An accordion being thrown out of...

[426] I just see accordions being thrown out of many windows simultaneously as you walk down the street.

[427] That's like the opening to SCTV, like the Polka version.

[428] TVs, yes.

[429] TV's flying out the window, and then we have accordions.

[430] There, is there a strativarius of...

[431] And I'm just obsessed with accordions now, but is there a strativarius of accordions?

[432] Is there an accordion where you've always thought, If I could get a McNulty, that would be the B -O -N -B -O -N -B -Avall, you know?

[433] Well, when I was a kid, I forget the brand name, but there was an electric accordion, which was, you know, as big as a house, like, it would have crushed a small child.

[434] But that was sort of like, you know, if you were serious about playing the accordion, you had that.

[435] And I don't think that brand is still around, but now I have, I do have a MIDI accordion, which I play in concert sometimes, which can emulate basically.

[436] It's like a sampler, essentially.

[437] So it's an accordion, and it still triggers with the same buttons and keys, but you can make it sound like string sections or horns or virtually anything you want.

[438] So I've got the bleeding edge technology with my accordion.

[439] I love that you're on the cutting edge of accordion technology.

[440] What about, can you get it so that it can do impressions of people's voices, like so you can pick up, you can dial like the phone, and then using your accordion skills sound like a famous celebrity.

[441] Everybody asks me that.

[442] I don't know why.

[443] No one's ever asked you that.

[444] No one's ever asked you that.

[445] ever I mean you use your you're so good at the accordion you have all these different buttons and stuff that you can call you know as Mark Hamill and order a pizza and say this is Mark Hamill I was in Star Wars in the 70s but of course they brought me back later on and you're you're squeezing and undulating your I don't know why that's in my head right now and it should probably not be I apologize I can probably arrange it so that my C sharp triggers a voice recording of Mark Hamill saying hi I'm Mark Hamill I was in Star Wars And I would like a pepperoni pizza with the cheese in the crust.

[446] You're forgetting the most important part.

[447] I'm sorry.

[448] That'll be for the D -sharp.

[449] Okay, all right.

[450] That's a two -notes sample.

[451] I screwed up again.

[452] You know, clearly you have a true love of music and you understand music and that enables you to, I'm guessing when you first hear a song, you appreciate it musically or do you think about it comedically on what you might be able to do with it.

[453] You know, I can turn my brain off.

[454] I don't always listen to songs on the radio and say, how can I screw this one up?

[455] That would be torture if you did, actually.

[456] That would be like a Twilight Zone episode where if you're listening to Beethoven and you just want to enjoy it and all you can think of is how you could, you know, how you could have some more cheese, have some more cheese.

[457] Have some more cheese.

[458] No, no. Have some more cheese.

[459] Have some more cheese.

[460] You know, or you're at a funeral and they're playing a really sad song and this classic, you know, mournful tune.

[461] And you just go right to that.

[462] And you start thinking of how you could make it about, he's dead now.

[463] Holy God, that guy sure dead.

[464] And you're laughing and everyone else is crying.

[465] You've been asked to leave a lot of funerals.

[466] Isn't that true?

[467] I have.

[468] Yeah.

[469] After I take my selfies.

[470] Yeah.

[471] It must be hell for you.

[472] Now, you can turn that off.

[473] You can listen to a song and a appreciate it and then think, okay, I can break that down.

[474] Yeah, I mean, and it seems kind of ironic, but I don't usually listen to the lyrics that much.

[475] I just kind of appreciate songs musically.

[476] And, you know, then I, you know, I can slide on my own lyrics whenever the muse strikes, I guess.

[477] But, but, yeah, it's nothing that I do like, you know, 24 -7.

[478] I only do that when I'm on the clock.

[479] On the clock?

[480] Who's setting a clock for you and saying, Al, we need nine song parodies now?

[481] Is there someone that...

[482] My wife does that.

[483] Yeah.

[484] That makes sense.

[485] Because the music also has to be good.

[486] Do you know what I mean?

[487] That's the other thing, too.

[488] Does it, though?

[489] I'm thinking.

[490] Does it?

[491] No, it really doesn't.

[492] Does it?

[493] Well, I'm putting much too much effort into this.

[494] Musically, you and your band are really good.

[495] I mean, that's the other thing, too, is I think on a musical level, you...

[496] I've always aspired.

[497] I'm a hack, amateur, guitar.

[498] artist, but I think I've secretly always just wanted to be in a band.

[499] I think a lot of comedians just want to be in a band.

[500] And I think you've figured out this magical way to be in comedy and music at the same time.

[501] I've got the, I'm two minutes and one.

[502] I've got the best of both worlds, which is great.

[503] And thank you for the nice words about my band.

[504] I do think there's some of the best musicians in the world.

[505] My guitar player, Jim Kimmo West, actually just won a Grammy for best new age album.

[506] So he's a man of many talents.

[507] And I've been fortunate enough to find them early in my career and they've stuck with me the entire time.

[508] Is it true that you guys are just insane on the road when you hit the road?

[509] I know you're a good family man and a good husband and that's your whole thing, but you just completely go, you melt down on the road.

[510] Oh, it's crazy.

[511] Sometimes we're all sharing the same Wi -Fi.

[512] It's kooky.

[513] You're passing around Wi -Fi.

[514] You're not welcome at a lot of venues anymore because you guys share the same Wi -Fi.

[515] Too much bandwidth.

[516] Yeah, Zeppelin had a lot of the same problems.

[517] I thought that documentary.

[518] We all did.

[519] I've seen it four times.

[520] But no, you know, I was seriously blown away, and I knew this, but your musicians are terrific.

[521] And I've always thought the people whose careers I always admire, and also who I think have been very fortunate.

[522] I'll put it that way, too, are the people that have managed to.

[523] to sort of take what they were naturally interested in and then turned that into a career rather than fitting their talents into an existing format.

[524] And I think that you've managed to do that.

[525] You took something that was very specific to you, then you crafted this thing that now is your career, but if you had told your six -year -old self that this is what you're going to be doing, you would not have believed it.

[526] You would have thought that's too good.

[527] No, it's still kind of crazy to me that I get to do this for a living, because I could not have come up with a better thing to suit my talents and to fulfill me and make me happy.

[528] So I'm just amazed.

[529] I mean, it reminds me what my dad used to tell me when I was a kid.

[530] He told me that the only true sign of success is finding what makes you happy and then making a living at it.

[531] So if you're happy at your job, that is their only true success.

[532] And that's something I really remembered and took to heart.

[533] and I feel just on the basis of that alone, I've been very successful.

[534] What did your dad do?

[535] I'm curious.

[536] He was just a number of blue -collar jobs.

[537] He was not like a professional.

[538] He worked in a sheet metal plant.

[539] He was a security guard, a street crossing guard.

[540] So just a lot of minimum wage stuff.

[541] But, you know, he was happy.

[542] We lived simply.

[543] And he just always kind of did what he wanted to do.

[544] Did he get to see you have all of the success?

[545] And what did he make of it?

[546] He did.

[547] I mean, very, very proud.

[548] I mean, once I started getting famous, and for years after that, he would go up to, like, the checkout woman at the grocery store and say, have you heard a weird owl?

[549] And she'd say usually yes.

[550] And that's my son.

[551] And he pulled out his wallet and show my high school senior picture.

[552] That's so nice.

[553] And he was very, very sweet about it.

[554] Yeah.

[555] And then if they didn't know who I was, then he didn't really irate and run out of the store.

[556] I've never come back here again.

[557] Oh, you're going to know who weird Al is.

[558] You're going to know.

[559] I don't know why I'm turning her father into Nixon, but he's certainly becoming Nixon.

[560] Oh, hell.

[561] You will know weird owl, and you will remember we are out.

[562] I'm resigning the presidency effective immediately.

[563] Wait, sir, were you okay?

[564] Where are you in the eight items or last checkout line when you have 12 items?

[565] Should be eight items or fewer.

[566] Hey, there you go.

[567] Thank you.

[568] You saved me. You're welcome.

[569] You know, it's funny because my mom, I've told this, but she would do similar things where she would really force the conversation into, do you have a television?

[570] People would go, yeah.

[571] Are you a fan of being up late at night?

[572] Sometimes I'm up late at night.

[573] When you're up late at night, are you watching a late night television?

[574] And it would be torts.

[575] Do you like Irish talk show?

[576] Well, not really.

[577] Do you like?

[578] Do you like?

[579] You know, and it would just, she would just wear them.

[580] down to where after about 15...

[581] You're Conan's mom, right?

[582] It would be like on the 15th round they would have eliminated of the two people at 1230 do you prefer the one it started in 93 whose names rhymes with the De Niro film Ronan Conan?

[583] I knew you were a fan would you like to be on his show?

[584] Yeah, she would also for a while there she was trying to book people on the show.

[585] Wow.

[586] He's very talented.

[587] I saw him play at a wedding.

[588] He plays something called The Zither, and I booked him next Thursday.

[589] But yeah, what do you find your first, like, I'm guessing it's the 80s, must be 83, 84?

[590] When did you feel like it blew up for you, and you're on MTV, and everyone knows who you are?

[591] I really felt like I had made it about three weeks ago when you requested me on this podcast, and I felt this is it.

[592] This is the epitome.

[593] I've reached the plateau.

[594] I'm on the mountaintop now.

[595] You know what?

[596] You answered that question perfectly.

[597] Yes.

[598] You know what?

[599] I will say many people feel like this getting the call from us is the moment.

[600] Last year, remember when we contacted Michelle Obama and said, we reviewed your application and you may be on the podcast?

[601] That's right.

[602] That's exactly what happened.

[603] She said now, now I feel like I really mean something to America and to to myself, remember that?

[604] Yeah, everyone feels that way, Tina Faye, David Letterman, I mean, everyone you've, Hillary Clinton, all of them.

[605] Yeah, pretty much all to a one.

[606] And then they just, they drop out after that.

[607] Yeah, before this, they feel worthless, and then you give their life meaning.

[608] You're having a little trouble there, aren't you, Sonia?

[609] Yeah, I'm sorry.

[610] I can't believe you're saying this bullshit and carrying human life.

[611] Sona is very pregnant with two boys.

[612] Oh, I was going to say, it looks like boys.

[613] Yeah.

[614] You can tell.

[615] It's unmistakable boys.

[616] They're just fighting.

[617] Congratulations.

[618] They're rough housing in there constantly.

[619] And, you know, it's funny because I'm curious, seriously, you did, would it be in the early 80s when you hit?

[620] And fans from that era are still with you, aren't they?

[621] They came with you.

[622] A lot of them, yeah.

[623] They're bringing their kids to the shows now.

[624] or sometimes they're grandkids or great -grandchildren if they're, like, really productive, I guess.

[625] But, yeah, it's like a generational thing.

[626] That wouldn't mean really productive.

[627] That would mean they went through a time warp.

[628] I'm here with nine generations.

[629] We've all enjoyed you.

[630] I started watching you when I was 18 and here's my great, great, great, great, great -great -great -grandson.

[631] That's not that they've been productive.

[632] That's, there's something, would it be a black hole?

[633] I don't know how these things were.

[634] Some cloning maybe?

[635] I don't know how it works.

[636] Cloning would be easier.

[637] Where are you right now, by the way?

[638] because I'd like to be there very soon.

[639] I could get to your house.

[640] Oh, I'm at home, 925 Westmont Drive, Los Angeles, California.

[641] We're not going to bleep that out.

[642] That's easy to do.

[643] Does it say Weird Al on your driver's license?

[644] Please say that it says Weird Al. Let me see.

[645] I just got my real ID.

[646] No, no, let's see.

[647] It does not.

[648] There it is.

[649] Oh, look, and you're making a weird owl face.

[650] That's a great photo.

[651] That's so great.

[652] I'm going to describe this now.

[653] You're making an over -the -top weird Al face for your driver's license.

[654] Do they ever say, no, knock it off?

[655] You have to do it again, and you have to say, you don't understand.

[656] I am weird, Al. This has to be weird photograph.

[657] Yeah, I always try to push the envelope on him at the DMV.

[658] You always want to, like, see how far you can push it with them.

[659] Because they've got great sentences of humor.

[660] That's what you say before you go to the DMV, I'm going to really push the envelope here.

[661] Yeah, I look forward to it.

[662] You're someone who, does not want to hurt someone's feelings.

[663] And it's surprising because there are people in comedy that don't care, and then there are people in comedy that really do care.

[664] And sometimes it's a shock because there are people out there that can be quite brutal in their comedy, but they say, and I believe them, they don't want to hurt someone's feelings.

[665] They just feel that there's like a little bit of a disconnect or that people won't really mind.

[666] But have you ever had an issue with any of the artists that you've parodied?

[667] Not really.

[668] I mean, the one famous exception is Coolio, but that was more of a miscommunication.

[669] He contends that he never gave permission for me to do Amish Paradise, and I was told by my record label that he had.

[670] So there was a little bit of a mix up there.

[671] We didn't really have a beef or anything like that, but there was a little bit of awkwardness for a couple years.

[672] But everything's fine now, there's water under the bridge.

[673] He's Culeo in there.

[674] And is there a lot of tension between West Coast?

[675] song parody musicians and East Coast song parody musicians?

[676] Has it ever, has the shit ever gone down where you guys are passing each other in cars and you just start throwing accordions in one another?

[677] That's one of the good things about the pandemic is because I can stay at home for a year and I have to worry about the drive -bys.

[678] I just love the idea you're getting hit with an accordion.

[679] I don't want you to get hurt, but it's just the idea that three accordion.

[680] Three accordion, three accordions would go and you, you You know, you'd duck down behind the door and they'd just go clattering off your door and you'd be like, that was a close one.

[681] Let's get out of here.

[682] That was a $300 Craigslist accordion.

[683] Quick, grab it.

[684] You could get $310 for it on Craigslist.

[685] Yeah, because I would think that you don't want to upset anybody.

[686] That doesn't seem like that's in your nature.

[687] I don't even like to punch up that.

[688] I don't like punching anybody really.

[689] If I can, you know, be funny without hurting anybody's feelings.

[690] I mean, that's always a plus.

[691] I have done a few things over the years that I'm not proud of, that I felt like I might have gone a little too far.

[692] But in general, I like to, you know, I don't like to, I hope my comedy isn't perceived as toothless.

[693] But I do think it's more of a challenge to be funny without, you know, making it at somebody else's expense.

[694] Yeah.

[695] But I think also there's a certainly, I mean, obviously there's a lot of political comedy out there.

[696] And it's been, it's been sort of de rigour for the last four or five years, but I also think there's a longing where people want to go someplace and enjoy comedy that is not hitting those buttons, so to speak.

[697] I kind of feel like, you know, Randy Rainbow has kind of filled a vacuum for the last few years in terms of doing political comedy and song parodies.

[698] Right.

[699] Because that's something that I just don't ever want to touch because I, for me personally, it's divisive and it doesn't date well.

[700] I mean, that's, you know, if you do any kind of political comedy it's old news like two weeks later and obviously in in late night we have to do some you know topical stuff and we it's it it's you can't avoid it but over the years i've always really tried to make sure that we have stuff every night something that will still resonate maybe if someone comes upon it somehow in 15 20 years it still works there's something about that ever great stuff they can't all be hanging chad jokes well actually they were i did i love anyone listening right now who wouldn't know what a hanging chat joke.

[701] But it's so funny because if it's even funny that night, maybe, but then you go forward like whatever, eight years.

[702] And people don't know what you're talking about.

[703] They think that it's a group of men named Chad who committed suicide, you know?

[704] Yeah, the dancing edos have a real shelf one.

[705] What was your biggest?

[706] You must have met just pretty much everybody who's, who was the person that you met in your career as Weird Al Yankovic that just blew you away?

[707] Was there a moment where you thought, I can't believe I'm...

[708] And again, present company excluded.

[709] Oh my God.

[710] I was going to say it's hard to compete with like the whole meeting with Comic -Con thing.

[711] Or was it or comic release?

[712] Yeah.

[713] Yeah.

[714] Yeah.

[715] Meeting me meeting me nine years before, or nine years before I got my talk show.

[716] Meeting a 20...

[717] But I remember.

[718] But I remember.

[719] My 22 -year -old Conan O 'Brien.

[720] still wrestling his way through puberty.

[721] But who, did you get to meet any of your idols that, you know?

[722] Yeah, I met Paul McCartney early on, like in 84 when I just, I think Edith had just come out.

[723] And I got invited to his Give My Regards to Broad Street Premier Party.

[724] And I got to kind of angle my way through the crowd past all these other people, Martha Quinn and Michael Keaton.

[725] And I finally got up to Paul McCartney.

[726] And I just said, hey, Paul, how you doing?

[727] My name's Al Yankovic, and he goes, oh, Weird Al. And he turns to Lyndon McCartney.

[728] Honey, look, it's Weird Al. And my head exploded then and there.

[729] I just couldn't believe that Paul McCartney had any idea who I was.

[730] And also, that's a real testament to, I mean, meeting someone like Paul McCartney, especially then, too, because I think now he's around more.

[731] He does the Hollywood Squares.

[732] Center Square.

[733] Well, sometimes, if he's lucky, he's on Family Feud.

[734] You know, he was on a season of Jersey Shore He just makes the rounds now He's sitting here, he's always around We're here in New Jersey You know, having a good time Remember when he was on that show?

[735] Yeah, yeah, I remember.

[736] Remember he's on Jigalos?

[737] What?

[738] Al. Conan.

[739] You're a delightful man. As are you.

[740] Am I, though?

[741] But yeah.

[742] Come on.

[743] In the right circumstances, sure.

[744] No, I'm proud.

[745] It's funny, because the concept of this podcast was there are people that I would like to, who I've met over the years, but I always get my sort of tight five, six minutes with them, and then they're off, and the machine that I'm in keeps chugging along and it's on to the next thing, and you're one of those people who I've always admired and really enjoyed.

[746] That's really nice to hear, man. Thank you.

[747] And it's sort of like I don't get a chance to actually hang out with my friends, So doing their podcasts are just a way of me connecting with people.

[748] So this is like, hey, do you want to come over for dinner?

[749] No, I'll do your podcast instead.

[750] You know, we'll just hang out there.

[751] I've only talked to my wife through the podcast.

[752] Those are the only relationships I have and are just podcast friends.

[753] I do.

[754] There are many people I've wanted to meet and they don't have a podcast.

[755] And they live like two doors away.

[756] And this is even without COVID and I won't go speak to them.

[757] I know exactly what you're talking about.

[758] Unless they're taking a break to do a commercial for a mattress.

[759] what's the point of talking to them.

[760] True.

[761] But getting to talk to you has been, this has been a real treat.

[762] And I hope we get to cross paths again soon.

[763] Because, you know, and if you ever need me to sit in with your band and sort of lower the overall musical quality of it.

[764] I might take you up on that, man. Just as long as we keep a real simple rhythm, I can help you out.

[765] And by help you out, I mean, lower the overall quality of everything you're doing.

[766] It's good to keep expectations of love.

[767] And somehow make it about myself, much to the dismay of the fans that came to see you.

[768] That's what I can offer you.

[769] I will definitely keep that in mind.

[770] You're crying right now, I can see.

[771] A little bit, a little bit.

[772] I can't see your hands, but I know that you're typing your publicist an email that says, this can never happen again.

[773] Hey, Al, seriously, thank you very much for doing this.

[774] This is cool.

[775] And I'm glad you dropped out of architecture school.

[776] Me too.

[777] Because you've made a really bad house, I'm telling you.

[778] This is a interesting time in our lives, going through a lot of changes, probably most important, being that's Sona.

[779] I think by the time people hear this, you will be the mother of two boys.

[780] Yeah, it's very soon.

[781] We did record ahead of time.

[782] Yeah, and we should mention that you're going to appear on this podcast in upcoming episodes, but that's all been done prior to those babies coming.

[783] Yeah, we've recorded a bit ahead of time, but right now I'm looking at you.

[784] Yeah.

[785] And I will say, because I know you have a lot of fans out there, Sona, and everybody's blown away.

[786] Sona has come by the show a bunch of times with her husband Tack just to visit.

[787] You look beautiful.

[788] That's so nice.

[789] Everyone's blown away by how amazing you look.

[790] You are extremely pregnant, but it is all localized.

[791] It's all right in your belly.

[792] can tell there are two strapping young fellows in there.

[793] Strapping young fellows.

[794] I am, yeah, I do.

[795] I feel huge.

[796] They move around a lot.

[797] But yeah, I feel like I'm kind of crushing pregnancy.

[798] You are.

[799] You are.

[800] I feel good.

[801] I shouldn't be here.

[802] That's something.

[803] Like, I think my doctor would not like me just, like, constantly going and driving to, you know, West Hollywood for your last shows.

[804] But, you know, I have FOMO.

[805] And so.

[806] FOMO is, I like to point out, fear of missing out.

[807] Yeah.

[808] I have Jomo, which is joy of missing out.

[809] I have FOMO, which is fear of missing out on a reference.

[810] I didn't know what FOMO was for a while.

[811] And I was confused.

[812] But now I know.

[813] Yeah, so you've been coming.

[814] I wanted this made very clear.

[815] Some people may think because of the nature of our relationship that I'm forcing you this late in a pregnancy of twins to come in.

[816] I tried to do that.

[817] Oh.

[818] But then was told that it's illegal.

[819] Yeah, last time we came to Earwolf to record, then we were going to Largo and I asked you for a ride and you told me to take the bus.

[820] Do you remember that?

[821] I did.

[822] Yeah.

[823] I said there's a bus stop right over there and I had plenty of room in my car.

[824] You have plenty of room.

[825] But I said, no, there's a bus right there and then you were giving all the reasons.

[826] And we'll go on like this for a while and people hear us and think that I'm just an insane person because I'll commit to it and I'll say, there's no reason you can't take the bus.

[827] And you're like, and you said, you're going to the Largo Theater.

[828] That's where I'm going and you have room in your car and I'm very pregnant with twins.

[829] And I'll say, I'll give you the money for the bus.

[830] Yeah.

[831] And you can pay me back.

[832] And people hear us doing this and they just go home and think, that man's a horrible monster.

[833] Well, it was like that one time when I was holding a plate of watermelon and you barreled down the stairs and you kicked them out of my hand.

[834] This is years ago before you were pregnant.

[835] Yeah.

[836] Okay, yeah, because it was okay before I was okay.

[837] Well, no, no. I mean, first of all, I did that to a pregnant woman.

[838] That's horrible.

[839] doing it to a woman who is not pregnant, that's hilarious.

[840] But there were a couple crew guys there who were looking like horrified.

[841] Yes.

[842] And I said, you know, I wanted to be like, no, no, he does this all the time.

[843] And I do this to him.

[844] It's fine.

[845] You're enabling him.

[846] This is how it is.

[847] I remember kicking that slice of watermelon and it went flying.

[848] It was such a good kick.

[849] Oh, good.

[850] I'm glad you were happy with yourself.

[851] Yeah, no. It really made me change the air of my ways.

[852] Um, no, I, uh, we're going through a lot of changes.

[853] You're, you're going to, by the time people hear this, uh, you'll have these two boys.

[854] I don't know if you've decided on, do you have the names set?

[855] I don't want to hear what they are, but you know what the names are?

[856] We're pretty confident we have the names.

[857] Yeah, we're pretty confident.

[858] And is one Conan?

[859] You can say if it's not.

[860] It's not.

[861] Is the other one Conan?

[862] Is the other one Conan?

[863] No, the other one's, neither one of them are Conan.

[864] No offense.

[865] It's just, uh, no. Doesn't seem to be.

[866] Okay.

[867] I won't do that.

[868] All right.

[869] Well, I don't need the competition.

[870] I don't need like another Conan Gray out there.

[871] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[872] So this is, maybe it's best.

[873] Maybe it's for the best.

[874] But anyway, if you change your mind, just let me know.

[875] Yeah.

[876] It's available.

[877] It doesn't seem to be, does not seem to be a popular name.

[878] I don't know what happened.

[879] But the other big change is that I've been doing pretty much a nightly show, more or less nonstop since 1993.

[880] It's been 28 years.

[881] And we were in the process of wrapping it up right now on, on TBS.

[882] And then, yeah, you know me. So now I'll go on to do other things.

[883] I'm kind of a hyperactive person who likes to make stuff.

[884] But this is a big, it's a big transition.

[885] And people keep asking me, are you okay?

[886] Are you okay?

[887] How are you feeling?

[888] And I feel fine.

[889] But then I think, what if I'm, I'm so Catholic and Irish, what if, what if I'm just blocking it?

[890] What if I'm blocking up some powerful emotions?

[891] And are those, one of those going to come to the surface?

[892] Maybe not for years.

[893] I don't know.

[894] I honestly don't know, but I have been walking around thinking, I'm I supposed to be, you know.

[895] Sad?

[896] Yeah.

[897] No. I just, I don't think so.

[898] I don't know.

[899] I think that you know that it's the right time to do this.

[900] I think that you know that it's, it's, you're good.

[901] And, uh, I mean, it's television.

[902] It's like who watches TV anymore anyway, right?

[903] Oh, now I'm just depressed.

[904] So I, so I devoted 28 years of my life to something.

[905] that nobody gives a shit about which is actually I do have a kind of people think that I'm being gloomy when I say these things but I'm really not I very much think do your work, do the best that you can really try and enjoy it and that has all happened for me to such an insane degree and then move on because there's other things to do and having you know, such a great wife in Liza and these two kids, Nevin Beckett, and we just have such a great family life.

[906] And there's so much more to do that, yeah, you think just keep moving, just move on, get on with it.

[907] And, you know, I think people think a lot of bed, well, what will my legacy be?

[908] And I think, I don't think, I think the world has so much more important stuff to think about.

[909] I really do.

[910] And I think it'll be out there on the internet and people can peruse it.

[911] That's the thing.

[912] It's always going to be there.

[913] It's just going to be there and it's bouncing around in space and aliens are watching it and saying, he gets much better after 94.

[914] Congratulations.

[915] Sincere congratulations too for my God.

[916] You do have a huge legacy and a huge body of work that is incredible.

[917] It's funny.

[918] It's all I ever wanted was I used to talk about this.

[919] It sounded so pretentious, but when I was 21 and 22, I would tell people, people would ask me, you know, what do you think you want to do?

[920] And I said, I just want a body of work.

[921] And I thought, what 22 -year -old says I want a body of work?

[922] But I talked about it all the time.

[923] And then I never thought that it would be a masturbating bear and a dog puppet that says horrible things to people and just a million other things.

[924] But I'm kind of, I'm delighted with it.

[925] And people can like it or not like it, but it's all out there.

[926] And it makes me, it makes me very happy.

[927] So yeah, you're right.

[928] I don't think there's a reason to be sad.

[929] I also, you know, as your employee, and I think I speak for a lot of people who work on your show, it is, it has been one of the, like, it has been just the best place to work.

[930] You're a great boss.

[931] This is actually, I'm being sincere.

[932] And that's right.

[933] A lot of people have worked on this show since the very beginning.

[934] Yeah, we have a couple of people that have been with us.

[935] I mean, really, it's actually a shocking number.

[936] I would say it's a bunch of people that were with me in 1993 and I still talked, and they still work on the show and I still talk to them every day.

[937] And that's pretty stunning.

[938] Like, we've all gone through so much together.

[939] Yeah.

[940] It's, okay, now I'm starting to feel things.

[941] Oh, that's nice.

[942] No, it's bad.

[943] It's okay to feel.

[944] You should feel.

[945] No, no, no, it was just gas.

[946] Oh, what?

[947] It was gas.

[948] sort of up near my sternum.

[949] Okay.

[950] It just shifted.

[951] You know, I think also you're the kind of guy.

[952] Like your dad, you're just going to work until you just cannot physically do it anymore.

[953] Yeah, my dad's like that.

[954] Yeah.

[955] I think you're just, you're going to be like 95 and you're going to be like, look at this funny thing I'm doing.

[956] No, my dad is 92 and he is still a prize fighter.

[957] He still gets in the ring.

[958] He's terrible.

[959] He loses very quickly to these young 20 -year -old.

[960] incredible boxers and he's beaten senseless but he still does it I really love the idea of when people talk about a 92 year old who's still working they're always like God bless him now he's a prize fighter oh my God yeah he gets in the ring and these young muscular men just beat that shit out of him oh my and then he's in the hospital for months but then he gets back in the ring God bless him what happens then oh he's immediately obliterated again He walks in with a cane.

[961] He walks in with a walker.

[962] They push the ropes apart so that he can get his walker through.

[963] And they ding, ding, and the guy comes over and his head falls off.

[964] And then you see the trainer come over with duct tape and put his head back on and they rush him out to the hospital and then nine months later.

[965] Oh, God bless him.

[966] Now he's 94.

[967] And he's back in the ring.

[968] And here he goes.

[969] And oh!

[970] He got punched in the chest and the fist went through his chest and pencil shavings are coming out just stuffing and pencil shavings.

[971] God bless him.

[972] Oh, God bless him.

[973] God bless him, he's still at it.

[974] That's the kind of thing Irish people say, oh, God bless him, he's still at it.

[975] Oh, my God.

[976] It's just sad that these 20 -year -old don't hold back.

[977] They don't hold back at all.

[978] No, they want this.

[979] They're worried about their record.

[980] They have no sentimentality at all.

[981] They just see this 92 -year -old goat get in the ring.

[982] They see this ding -ding right over as hard as they can.

[983] Oh!

[984] His arms go flying off.

[985] And they're sewing him back together and rushing him to the hospital.

[986] But he'll be back to fight 21 -year -old.

[987] Emilio Entrada, 6 -foot -6, 270 pounds.

[988] Oh, man. I don't know why a heavyweight.

[989] is fighting a 92 -year -old.

[990] I know.

[991] It seems like it's off.

[992] I must break you.

[993] Yeah, I must break you.

[994] And then I would love my dad talking shit.

[995] I would love him talking shit to the guy.

[996] So he's there in the ring and he's like standing there and he's had all these different surgeries and they put the right arm on the left arm and the left arm of the right arm because he didn't go to a good hospital.

[997] And he's there and he's at the way in.

[998] And the other guy outweighs him by 200 pounds.

[999] And it's just a massive giant wall of my arm.

[1000] muscle and my father's like you pussy come on beckerhead let's see come on I'm gonna rip you a new one I'm gonna fuck you up I'm gonna rip your eyes out and shove them up your ass so you can see what you ate two days ago he has all these really elaborate I'm gonna rip your dick off and feed it to you in front of your whole family.

[1001] Okay, really, sir, you've got to calm down.

[1002] Ding, ding, wham!

[1003] Oh, his chest just came out his back.

[1004] They're trying to, has anyone seen his spinal column?

[1005] I think it looked like the, it looks like it fell in the third row.

[1006] If anyone could pick that up and take it, we're going to sew that back in.

[1007] God bless you, he keeps going.

[1008] Conan O 'Brien needs a friend With Conan O 'Brien, Sonam O 'Sessian, and Matt Gourley.

[1009] Produced by me, Matt Gourley.

[1010] Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Joanna Solitaroff, and Jeff Ross at Team Koko and Colin Anderson at Earwolf.

[1011] Theme song by The White Stripes.

[1012] Incidental music by Jimmy Vivino.

[1013] Take it away, Jimmy.

[1014] Our supervising producer is Aaron Blair, and our associate talent producer is Jennifer Samples.

[1015] Engineering by Will Bechton.

[1016] talent booking by Paula Davis, Gina Batista, and Brick Kahn.

[1017] You can rate and review this show on Apple Podcasts, and you might find your review read on a future episode.

[1018] Got a question for Conan?

[1019] Call the Team Coco hotline at 323 -451 -2821 and leave a message.

[1020] It too could be featured on a future episode.

[1021] And if you haven't already, please subscribe to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

[1022] This has been a Team Coco production in association with Earwolf.