46 - Skippers Unite!

[0] This is exactly right.

[1] Hey, this is exciting.

[2] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[3] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

[4] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[5] Who killed Saz?

[6] And were they really after Charles?

[7] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[8] This season, murder hits close to home.

[9] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[10] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[11] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[12] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[13] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[14] Only Martyrs in the building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[15] Goodbye.

[16] Hi, hi, hi, hi, how are you?

[17] Hi, go.

[18] Podcasting.

[19] Podcasting, go.

[20] The joy of podcasting.

[21] What if this was a podcast about podcasting?

[22] That could be a thing.

[23] That would be the end of us.

[24] What if this was a podcast about podcasts, to talk about podcasting?

[25] What if this is a podcast about how to start a podcast?

[26] And then we started listening to it and learn.

[27] And we're soon able to start a podcast correctly.

[28] That would be, I think that would be detrimental to our, to our brand.

[29] I'm sorry.

[30] I'm sorry.

[31] D detrimental to our personalities.

[32] Detrimental.

[33] two rifts are riff styles yeah well this is all this is all scripted this part isn't it weird how much we play it natural when actually we're reading every word we're saying right now off of large teleprompters georgia laugh out loud oh shit karen laugh even louder and clap your hands welcome hi did you say bye sigh oh welcome to my favorite murder welcome to my favorite murder welcome to my favorite murder the podcast that asked the question why do people listen to this and doesn't answer it and then talks about other stuff yep yeah um our blessed blessed stephen ray morris brought me a gift today that you know people who know how to give a gift yeah and it really means a lot because like my own mother for years at christmas i would open things and be like you clearly wanted someone else as a child.

[34] I walked in tonight, and there was a Diet Coke tall boy waiting for me on Georgia's coffee table.

[35] He doesn't even, he puts it in Karen's spot.

[36] Like, he doesn't even say, like, hey, Karen, like, hand it to her.

[37] Nope.

[38] It's like, and he did it when I, like, I came out and I was like, oh, like, it's just so sweet and so subtle.

[39] And it's like, in your spot.

[40] Thanks, Stephen.

[41] All those things, Stephen, and then on top of it, the things I want the most, which are Diet Coke and quantity.

[42] Steven's your new mommy Steve's my mommy and also I called him Steve and also also when I was a young alcoholic really ready to take on the world through slurry speech and secrets the best way man secrets no one wanted to hear I still tell you sunny I would drink Budweiser tall boys from the corner store because they were cheap and they would get you like buzzed enough so that you could still use money and not, like, lose your, lose money or lose your ID.

[43] It's that, like, perfect buzz that you should have just written, but instead you added to it.

[44] Always.

[45] You know what I mean?

[46] Two glasses of champagne.

[47] Here I am.

[48] Fucking rock me like, you know, and then, like, go on.

[49] Yeah.

[50] Then I'm like, well, one more then.

[51] Yes.

[52] And then I'm like, oh, stupid.

[53] And then I go, two more.

[54] Now let's switch to Jameson's.

[55] Now let's fight the doorman.

[56] That's why I had to stop drinking.

[57] It would always go down this path where I was like, wait, don't do that.

[58] Now it's on to, I thought you were like, and now it's on to gin.

[59] Nope, now I'm fighting the door man. Now Duke's up.

[60] Now it's like, I'll kick you in the shin and then tell you a secret.

[61] Oh, yeah.

[62] I'm plucky.

[63] I'm plucky, Karen.

[64] I'm angry about things that don't make sense.

[65] I've had every advantage in life and I'm still mad.

[66] I want it all.

[67] So thank you, Stephen.

[68] Thank you, Steve.

[69] Thanks for bringing back her memories.

[70] Means the world.

[71] I'm glad.

[72] And thank you all for listening to my favorite murder.

[73] That's Karen, by the way.

[74] And that's Georgia.

[75] Georgia's still an alcoholic.

[76] Karen's an ex -alcoholic.

[77] It's all the same.

[78] No, I'm still an alcohol.

[79] You always are.

[80] Yes.

[81] But you're not an alcoholic or you would have fucked everything up by now.

[82] I'm a practicing.

[83] I went to a new doctor today and I was like, I don't, naturopath.

[84] I can't say it.

[85] Naturopath?

[86] Homeopath?

[87] No, naturalopath.

[88] a natural path.

[89] And I was like, how do I explain to her, like, what's wrong with me?

[90] Because there's a lot wrong with me. And I was like, oh, I know.

[91] And I'm a very highly functioning mess.

[92] I'm like, oh, that's it.

[93] That's it.

[94] Yeah.

[95] Like, I, did she get it?

[96] Yes.

[97] She was great.

[98] She got me. Awesome.

[99] Yeah.

[100] Who can't say that, though?

[101] Who wouldn't say that about themselves?

[102] People who aren't high functioning.

[103] Oh, that's true.

[104] You know what I mean?

[105] That might be me where I'm like, I'm a mess that also can't return phone calls.

[106] Except you're, you also.

[107] clearly don't believe in yourself because you're incredibly high functioning.

[108] Oh, that's true.

[109] You're a fucking job and a hit fucking podcast.

[110] What?

[111] No. She became that person.

[112] Lizzie Cooperman.

[113] I did think of Lizzie Cooperment.

[114] Hang, Speaking, hey, we're on the iTunes fucking.

[115] I know.

[116] I think we have to cut down the bad corner.

[117] It gets me scared.

[118] I just wanted to thank everyone for listening.

[119] You're right.

[120] Because we wouldn't be on this if nobody listening.

[121] That's exactly right.

[122] That's what I wanted to thank you guys.

[123] Thank you.

[124] Yeah.

[125] Thank you so much.

[126] See you later.

[127] That was Bragg Corner.

[128] That was Bragg, but really embarrassed about a corner.

[129] I have a lot of shame issues.

[130] That's what I have to take to my nature path.

[131] Bragg shame issues.

[132] Bragg shame corner.

[133] That's your, you have to take to your natural path.

[134] I'm going to take it down a natural path to a pond.

[135] I'm going to throw it down in the pond of shame.

[136] Oh, it's a beautiful pond.

[137] It's such a gorgeous, bottomless pond.

[138] I go boating there.

[139] like sailboating there sometimes.

[140] I really enjoy myself on the pond of shame.

[141] I bring a, um, what do you?

[142] Parasol.

[143] Yes.

[144] Right?

[145] Yeah, like a, like a classy lady from the 20s.

[146] Yeah, a classy, shameful person.

[147] That's me. That's me all over.

[148] What other than corners do you want to talk about?

[149] I guess.

[150] Should we get ready to show corners so like the skippers don't skip this part?

[151] Tour corner.

[152] Tour corner.

[153] Exciting announcement corner.

[154] We're going to have a tour happening.

[155] You guys, we're, somebody believes we're legit because they have actually planned a semi, not really nationwide tour for us and perhaps slightly outside nature.

[156] I mean, America, national.

[157] We're only going to national parks.

[158] That's what Karen's trying to say.

[159] We're only doing shows in natural park.

[160] And we're trying to get disappeared out of a natural park, like those weird stories where people disappear out of natural parks.

[161] And everyone, the only, you have to chop down a tree if you're going to come.

[162] That's right.

[163] We're going to basically chop down all the woods.

[164] We're going to go find the bad people in the woods.

[165] Oh, yeah.

[166] And we're going to live podcast, murder them.

[167] Have you heard the number of like how many, do we already talk about this?

[168] How many murderers are, you brought that up.

[169] What?

[170] How many murders happen in national parks?

[171] And the whole thing of children disappearing in national parks.

[172] And it's like, is it an animal or is it a human animal?

[173] But if it's an animal, how did they get so far away?

[174] 10 miles away.

[175] Yeah, and you would have seen like a clothing thing.

[176] No, there's no bones or spooer.

[177] Fuck.

[178] I know.

[179] We got to do a fucking national park show.

[180] National Park tour where we're dressed up in Park Ranger outfit.

[181] Oh, I look good and brown.

[182] I know.

[183] Kind of like I'll do a moss green thing that won't look good on me, but I'll wear a strong red lip and they'll be like, I don't know.

[184] I like it anyway.

[185] Tight ponytails just because they're no nonsense.

[186] Yep.

[187] And those pads where it looks like we're writing people tickets.

[188] that's like It's love it We can't get Lyme disease Hey do you guys want to know About our tour?

[189] Yeah actually Should we talk about the thing we brought up?

[190] No So I guess we're going to tour From like January to April Yes But like the most like We don't want to travel that much tour Like a weekend or tour We should call it something That we don't We should call it We don't try it too hard tour Right Give us like three weeks And we'll get a great name of a tour for you we don't care about you and what's the city we're not going to because we don't care about you don't do it don't say it and everyone's heart because then we have to go there because we're actually going to one of the cities I said I don't want to go to fucking that's right all right ready okay yes okay all of these tickets are going to be for sale on Friday next Friday December 16th that's right but here they are so you can fucking prep your shit get ready on your fucking mom's TV that's right get some money.

[191] Collect all of those quarters all around your house, put them in the coin star machine, see how much you get.

[192] Yeah.

[193] Take out those random Canadian coins.

[194] Are they in there?

[195] Or see if they can.

[196] Everyone is screaming at us.

[197] Just say it.

[198] Okay.

[199] January 21st, we're going to be in Los Angeles at the Riot Festival.

[200] February 17th, we're going to mean Oakland at the Fox Theater.

[201] February 18th, we're going to be in Vancouver at the Vogue.

[202] February 19th, we're going to mean Seattle at the Neptune.

[203] March 3rd, we're going to be in Boston at the Wilbur.

[204] March 4th, we're going to be in New York at the Beacon.

[205] And so all you people who are not, can't go to the bellhouse on Sunday.

[206] Beacon, March 3rd, we're making good.

[207] It's a very large theater.

[208] Don't be mad.

[209] You'll be fine.

[210] Where was I?

[211] March 25th, Portland, Oregon Revolution Hall.

[212] April 6th, Indianapolis at the Egyptian room.

[213] Indianapolis.

[214] What's up, best friend?

[215] And then guess where we're going on April 7th, Milwaukee.

[216] Hell yes.

[217] At the fucking Paps Theater.

[218] Are you serious?

[219] Dude, is that like Paps, Paps?

[220] Yes.

[221] Yes.

[222] Oh, my God.

[223] I'm drinking so much paps.

[224] I'm going to start drinking when we do that show.

[225] You have one.

[226] Can you have like a paps and then you're hungover for?

[227] If I shotgun one beer, it doesn't count.

[228] Just kidding.

[229] If it's a keg stand, it's not, you know, if you're not on your feet.

[230] Don't make me do a Diet Coke tall boy spit take, please.

[231] And then finally, we'll be back at our original place.

[232] It'll be on April 8th in Chicago again at the Vic Theater.

[233] love you, Chicago.

[234] We're going back to Chicago.

[235] We're going back to Chicago.

[236] That's awesome.

[237] Then unscheduled but plan in the works planned, London, Australia.

[238] Dude.

[239] Do you know what I've decided?

[240] What?

[241] I don't know.

[242] Ryan, I'm sound like a dick.

[243] But if we go overseas, I'm fucking flying first class.

[244] I'm flying myself first class.

[245] Oh, that's nice.

[246] Because you have all those anxieties about travel.

[247] My therapist was like, fucking spend a little extra money.

[248] That's right.

[249] And it's okay.

[250] Like, don't buy all the weird shit you buy.

[251] So save up.

[252] save up and get one of the craziest most expensive.

[253] But that's very true because I don't know how much it is.

[254] Is it really crazy?

[255] It's like it's going to be a couple thousand dollars.

[256] Never mind.

[257] I thought it'd be like a thousand maybe.

[258] It'll it'll be pretty expensive especially if you're going to like Europe or Australia.

[259] But like for Australia you have to.

[260] I actually my father who is very frugal and very like no frills no frills Kilgarov.

[261] He was like you have to his he my mother and he loved Australia and they would go.

[262] They went there a bunch.

[263] And he was like we, the first time we went, we flew over coach and they came back executive class, which I think is just like the cheap man's version of first class.

[264] It's what it used to be.

[265] It's what normal flying used to be is business class.

[266] Before they smashed everybody together.

[267] Anyhow, he basically said, the man who won't spend money or anything was like, you have to buy a first class ticket.

[268] If you're going, you're going to be in a plane for that long, treat yourself.

[269] It's completely worth it.

[270] So don't feel bad.

[271] I'm doing it.

[272] please come and see us if you heard your city or we're going to have VIP tickets oh yeah which I feel weird about do you um look we're just going to have to buy into the fact that people will spend extra money to get front row seats of special poster that no one else can get meet and greet afterwards because we can't meet all of you like we did in Chicago yeah that was a special occasion that was special and then like access and then some merch shit special merch whatever you can get it you can get like a you know if it's your friend's birthday and you suddenly got a promotion at your job and go ahead and get a fee we're not trying a big time you guys and we're part of it thank you for coming this is what the rolling stones do so it's what we do yeah you're all VIPs in our hearts except only if you buy those tickets you know we actually should start scripting out this part okay so they're all going on sale on December 16th goodbye okay um click click click click what else um Oh, I just saw the pictures on the Facebook of the D .C. meetup.

[273] Did you look at it?

[274] Did you look at the cocktails they made?

[275] Yes.

[276] Oh, my God.

[277] Did you, now, the cocktail that was the Karen is exactly my personality.

[278] Shut up.

[279] I don't know who that person is, but it was literally like scotch, drambouy, coffee and like a middle finger.

[280] It was made me so happy.

[281] It was pretty legit.

[282] Wait, let me read the menu because the menu was so good.

[283] So it was called, it just said the menu is called drinks and the underneath it and.

[284] And, and.

[285] And, it was pretty.

[286] And.

[287] And.

[288] And.

[289] And.

[290] And.

[291] It was.

[292] And.

[293] And.

[294] And.

[295] And.

[296] And.

[297] And.

[298] And.

[299] And.

[300] And.

[301] And.

[302] And.

[303] And.

[304] And.

[305] And.

[306] And.

[307] And.

[308] And.

[309] And.

[310] And.

[311] And.

[312] And.

[313] And.

[314] And.

[315] And.

[316] And.

[317] And.

[318] And.

[319] And.

[320] And.

[321] And.

[322] And.

[323] And.

[324] And.

[325] parentheses, I said, do not drink with older people, which I fucking love.

[326] And then the beer on draft was called Stay Out of the Forest and drink local beer.

[327] Then the beer in the bottle was toxic masculinity.

[328] And then they had the boot, the cocktails was called, I'm going to go get some juice.

[329] In cases, you're new to this.

[330] These are all things that have come out of our faces.

[331] Yeah.

[332] So there was the Georgia, which I loved, pepper spray first, the fuck politeness, the fuck everyone, the sweet honesty and the Karen.

[333] coffee scotch vodka Jesus Bramboi chocolate bitters I bet that was fucking good I mean And you need one It's truly like And I would have drank three It's really I really identified With the Karen And then their jellar shot over the week Was called round shit Yeah Thank you guys Thank you D .C That's hilarious and it's very exciting Also I like that it was What's that?

[334] What are we going to D .C?

[335] Oh I won't for political reasons I'm just kidding For a minute I was like Oh no, you're Karen Yeah, I don't have to let go out of course No, I'm not sure I guess he's just like booking the places he's booking Yeah, this might be our first kind of tour Yeah, I mean we're this is We're just doing our best here Unless this motherfucking implodes Can you imagine Halfway through we're scratching Each other's eyes out I think one of those dates Is like right around when we started It's like our anniversary That'd be very cool Oh, that'd be very cool What if our anniversary shows in Indianapolis and we're just like hands across America we love you we build a bridge of love again I apologize for fucking saying I would never go there it's too late because I'm going it's too late yeah no we're we're going to show up there what if what if we're there when that um there's like a true crime convention that's there I think he did that on purpose no I think we sent him that and we're like can we go to this are you serious yes there's a true crime convention in Indianapolis and our fucking amazing tour dude I just You like crying a little bit right now.

[336] Why?

[337] Just I like, I like it all so much.

[338] It's a lot.

[339] I like it so much.

[340] It's really a lot.

[341] It's good times.

[342] It's so much.

[343] Yeah.

[344] It's really good.

[345] This is crazy.

[346] Now, can I change the topic really quick?

[347] I can tell you on to and I'll let you.

[348] Thank you.

[349] I'm not comfortable.

[350] I'm not comfortable in celebration.

[351] This is called, you get one free change the topic every episode.

[352] The yogurt shop.

[353] murders were 25 years ago yesterday.

[354] I have a book right over there.

[355] Are you serious?

[356] Yeah.

[357] Are you reading the book about it?

[358] I haven't started because of reasons, but...

[359] Because you can't read?

[360] You don't know how to read.

[361] The book is called, it's called Who Killed These Girls by...

[362] Beverly Lowry.

[363] And I think it's new.

[364] And it's funny because, oh, you know, what was happening?

[365] I was going to do that and I have a draft of it.

[366] and as I was writing the draft Emily Gordon text me and says Have you read Who Kill These Girls?

[367] The fucking moment I was typing this shit I lost my mind And then I was like well I don't want to steal this chick slender So I'm not gonna So I'm gonna order it and read it first When they I saw the picture On the Facebook page this morning And the picture of these girls From this time It made me well up It's just like it's four girls Who are just teenage girls And one was a friend who just wanted to hang out all that.

[368] You know, when you go, like, you're closing?

[369] Well, I don't want to be alone.

[370] I'm going to go hang out with you while you close, and I'll fucking fill napkin things or whatever.

[371] And then when one girl had to bring her little sister, so her little sister was hanging out there.

[372] If you guys don't know about the yogurt shop murders, don't look it up because I'm going to cover it one day.

[373] But it's fucking, and like.

[374] It's heavy and it's cold case.

[375] It's unsolved.

[376] But then there's a lot of people.

[377] Someone was in prison for it, arrested and jailed and confessed to it.

[378] I won't say anymore.

[379] Okay.

[380] Yeah, I want to borrow this when you're done.

[381] okay um i just i just wanted to kind of cite it because it's such a long time and it is it's a cold case i mean like whoever went to jail for it is not the person and and there's such it's just all of us it's all of us and the reason i haven't started reading it yet is because i went to therapy the other day and i was like i'm extra depressed lately and she's like well let's think about like what are some triggers in your life like that you do and i'm like oh you mean constantly reading and thinking about murders and crimes and looking at fucking crime scene photos like it's not just for my job yeah it suppresses me so this this week i was going to do a survivor story just to be like it's okay but i couldn't find one are you kidding me i couldn't find a good one i was just like oh well that's not your jam it's not my jam it's not what you hook into it doesn't interest you as much i mean you can never go up from mary vince what's her name?

[382] Mary Vincent.

[383] It is Mary Vincent.

[384] You can't go up from a fucking pregnant woman beating this shit out of a woman trying to steal her baby.

[385] Yeah.

[386] Which you've done in the past.

[387] That's Sarah Peters.

[388] You're so good at remembering things.

[389] I didn't do Mary Vincent just now though.

[390] And Mary Vincent, who's just, I mean.

[391] So I'm not doing one of those.

[392] Hi.

[393] I'm doing a murderer.

[394] Well, that's what most people have turned in for.

[395] Also, I just want to talk about the, now I just wrote down.

[396] Papini.

[397] But are you following that case?

[398] No. Oh.

[399] Yes.

[400] You must be.

[401] It's the woman who was kidnapped and they found her on Thanksgiving Day.

[402] And it took place up in Redding, California, which is up north of Sacramento.

[403] Oh, God, I don't, I know, I've seen the name, but I haven't read about it.

[404] They just did a 2020 on it.

[405] Oh, everyone was obsessed.

[406] There's a mega thread on the Facebook page.

[407] It is the craziest case and the newest thing that I just this morning is so it's basically the woman disappears it's a classic thing of their big signs saying please help us learn any information um then like then you have to read it it's just like because i actually found it on i saw it on i saw like a oh there's a thread on the facebook page like this must be a good episode yes so i found it and then i read in the thing that in the in the conversation i was like why are they who gives a shit it's the same thing that always happens and what you know there these photos don't make like and I was like fuck this then I I okay her husband killed her everyone knows that then but I didn't realize how recent it was she and she came back they found her oh she they found her on the side of the road chained is this gone girl oh allie was telling me about this yes yes it's the craziest thing and there's all these additional facts that keep unfolding that are so crazy where it's it's what everyone was saying in the mega thread but it's so true it's like we're just waiting to find out what really happen it's like we're days away from them going they just found this clue and here's what's actually going on because no one wants to be a dick too high heaven yes and everybody's being very kind of aware of that like nobody wants to blame her or point a finger say you're a funny whatever but if you watch the 2020 that it doesn't feel right and there is this do they know it doesn't like can you tell that they know about it not feeling i didn't i it's on my dvr but i haven't watched it Yeah.

[408] But there is, my sister, of course, was telling me word for word all about it.

[409] And then there is a private detective who showed up and said he had a donation from an anonymous donor to a reward that he was going to offer from an anonymous donor.

[410] And then he kind of started taking over like getting in front of everybody like, hey, here's how it's going to go.

[411] And he, it's the weirdest.

[412] It's just weird, weird, weird, weird, nothing seems right.

[413] I want to say that I could be totally wrong, but I don't buy.

[414] it and you know I saw a couple minutes of like the husband being interviewed yeah and he doesn't seem right it's going to be very interesting in like I think it'll be like a month or less when something is revealed and we're all just going to go holy shit I can't wait because it doesn't it just doesn't add up and there's all these extra things that don't make sense sorry this is a dumb thing to bring up I'm not being specific about it no it's good people are into it um let's get Merch Corner out of the way Okay.

[415] So we have these new fucking designs, just like holiday designs that are made by our friend Kirsten Ben Como, who's like such a fucking badass and she sent them to us and was like, what do you think of these?

[416] And they're like holiday designs that they say, it's like an ugly sweater print and it says stay sexy, don't get murdered.

[417] And the little like holiday designs are like little tiny weapons.

[418] Yes.

[419] Like they're just, it's next level.

[420] It's really fun times.

[421] From a distance it looks like, oh, look at that holiday sweater.

[422] And then you look close and it says, fuck everyone.

[423] Yeah.

[424] It's just that kind of, you know, my favorite murder style fun that we bring to you.

[425] Yeah.

[426] It's gorgeous.

[427] Yeah.

[428] So go to follow Kirsten at C .M .Y. Kirsten on Instagram.

[429] And then if you just go to my favorite murder shirts .com.

[430] And I know everyone was like, why didn't you call it my favorite merch?

[431] and I'm like because you know what everybody has great puns after the fact you know what I mean yeah you weren't you weren't there yeah you weren't there yeah mentally I was not there if you if you not you personally I'm saying them like everybody can think of a great idea when they have seven weeks to think of right I also didn't think this would be a thing and so I didn't get fucking clever and I was like it's not going to be a thing and people aren't going to understand and they're not going to correctly put in good night I see no no stay awake because I feel I feel like I feel like I feel I feel like I didn't think this was going to be a thing is the banner that's waving above this podcast.

[432] I love when people like tweet criticisms and I just want to write back, are you fucking kidding me?

[433] Like, you do understand.

[434] You understand this is a conversation we're recording.

[435] Do you know how hurt I would feel if they tweeted that if we put, if we put, if we tried very fucking hard.

[436] Like I did like, shit, we did our fucking best.

[437] God, I stayed up for seven days research and we like the state of the art fucking recording studio but it's my apartment and sometimes there's fires outside and sometimes my fucking neighbor downstairs is playing World Warcraft very loudly it's a fucking shit show I mean it just comes back to gufuck yourself and the classic Jimmy Pardo quote listen or don't we can't we can't and we want to and we won't but we can't do we want to I don't I don't know do you want to for some of the people maybe do but do they even i don't i don't either i don't either is it okay it's okay all right so that's merch corner uh i guess this has gone on so long uh yeah i know i like that we were like should we do this quickly and we're like yeah we're just gonna we're gonna do this quickly we're gonna get it done georgia's got a storytelling show we're gonna zip zapsop talkers no fucking way well i just don't get to see you that much it's nice to talk to you oh hey hey miss you miss you miss you oh bye bye uh did you you had a thing you wanted to tell me i think i read all my things um i love the fact that i didn't even know her first name when i said the peppini case sarah i think or you want to keep talking about this didn't you hate it oh mary minson it kind of is the same though except minus missing limbs it's except for completely opposite except for completely not not um no i don't think i had anything else okay uh that i can remember but my memory is going so crazy i started a new job which i'm super excited about and it's going to be super fun but i like i very cockley told georgia i was like no this is going to be easy and we're going to be i'm going to be able to do even more stuff this time because blah blah blah well of course it's we just non -stop 10 a .m. to like tonight i got out at you know can i be honest Like, my heart was a little broken when you were like, I'm starting on Monday.

[438] Yeah.

[439] I'm like, oh.

[440] Yeah.

[441] I had you for, I had you for two weeks.

[442] You did.

[443] And now we're in a long distance of murder relationship again.

[444] We're back to having to write civil war letters to each other.

[445] We're like each other's, what's it called when you get custody of a kid, but like we're together of it?

[446] Oh, like co -parenting?

[447] No, we're, um, when you can see a kid sometimes and it has to be supervised.

[448] Oh, like court appointed.

[449] We're corn -appointed friends.

[450] So, like, we, Stephen is our fucking court -appointed fucking supervisor.

[451] And, like, you and I get to be together.

[452] That's right.

[453] Once a week.

[454] We have to make sure we don't abuse each other.

[455] Two hours.

[456] No, no, drinking.

[457] No, well.

[458] Hey.

[459] No, it's true.

[460] Yeah.

[461] I think I can't not work.

[462] I can't.

[463] I can't.

[464] You're working.

[465] This is a job now.

[466] I know, I know.

[467] This is a job.

[468] But it, I mean, if anything didn't feel like a job, I would say it's this.

[469] Oh, no, for sure.

[470] Oh, fuck that.

[471] Yeah.

[472] No, this is fucking.

[473] This is so stupid.

[474] Like the fact that I'm like, oh, I'm depressed.

[475] What am I?

[476] I'm not doing anything.

[477] Oh my God.

[478] I have a fucking career called my favorite murder.

[479] Uh -huh.

[480] No, it's the best.

[481] This is hilarious.

[482] It's like the fucking Pepini case.

[483] I can't wait to see what unfolds.

[484] It's going to be either tragic and we were wrong.

[485] Yes.

[486] Everyone's going to owe everybody an apology.

[487] Or fucked up and hilarious.

[488] Right.

[489] And we were right.

[490] Yes.

[491] That sounds fun.

[492] I mean, that's kind of always the option too.

[493] anyway um so murder time murder or should we read our horoscopes just relax take a breather let's read other people's horoscopes let's read also people keep on sending which i love and it's hilarious we keep getting amazon reviews for other things did you see the one where it's a rock in a leather in a leather like satchel really awesome and i i forgot to retweet that and um we're also getting animals who are friends Oh for sure really We just keep getting those And I appreciate it So thanks everybody for participating Are you first or my first?

[494] Sorry?

[495] Are you first or my first?

[496] Oh I thought you said something about a horse I swear to go Are you a horse or am I a horse this week?

[497] I don't remember I don't remember last week at all Stephen we're going to need you to take notes Oh Last week was That one of yours that I keep thinking about of the babysitter and the children.

[498] Oh, fuck.

[499] That was a rough one.

[500] That was first last week, right?

[501] What was yours?

[502] No idea.

[503] What the fuck is wrong with us?

[504] No, I mean, I'm like, I'm about to be put into a home.

[505] What is wrong with us?

[506] I was last week.

[507] Lord Lucan, yeah.

[508] Oh, Lord Lucan.

[509] That fucking guy.

[510] Did you see the people that sent the picture work Lord Lucan and Brad Pitt?

[511] No. Oh, yes, I saw that one and I saw someone went and took a photo of the fucking...

[512] Plummer's arms?

[513] Yes.

[514] Oh, that was the best.

[515] Yes.

[516] We got two pictures of the plumber's arms, which was the bar that Lord Lucan, I don't know, somebody went to.

[517] But then Brad Pitt looks so much like Lord Lucan when he has his inglorious bastards mustache.

[518] Calling it here first.

[519] This is going to become a movie.

[520] Brad Pitt's going to fucking play someone.

[521] We deserve royalties.

[522] Yeah, we definitely deserve it.

[523] We had our hand in this pie.

[524] Brad Pitt.

[525] Felt gross.

[526] It felt gross, but we still want money for it.

[527] But we left our hand in there.

[528] So then it's, that means it's you.

[529] Yeah.

[530] Okay.

[531] And mine's not super long.

[532] But it sucks.

[533] Hey, this is exciting.

[534] An all -new season of only murders in the building is coming to Hulu on August 27th.

[535] Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez are back as your favorite podcaster, detectives.

[536] But there's a mystery hanging over everyone.

[537] Who killed Saz?

[538] And were they really after Charles?

[539] Why would someone want to kill Charles?

[540] This season, murder hits close to home.

[541] With a threat against one of their own, the stakes are higher than ever.

[542] Plus, the gang is going to Hollywood to turn their podcast into a major movie.

[543] Amid the glitz and glamour of Los Angeles, more mysteries and twists arise.

[544] Who knows what will happen once the cameras start to roll?

[545] Get ready for the stariest season yet with Merrill Streep, Zach Alfinacus, Eugene Levy, Eva Longoria, Melissa McCarthy, DeVine, Joy Randolph, Molly Shannon, and more.

[546] Only Martyrs in the Building, premieres August 27th, streaming only on Hulu.

[547] Goodbye.

[548] Karen, you know I'm all about vintage shopping.

[549] Absolutely.

[550] And when you say vintage, you mean when you physically drive to a store and actually purchase something with cash?

[551] Exactly.

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[566] today.

[567] That's shopify .com slash murder.

[568] Goodbye.

[569] Uh, okay.

[570] All right.

[571] Karen.

[572] Yes.

[573] So in May of 1992, 32, 39 -year -old Leslie Allen, Leslie Allen Williams, it's a dude, of Detroit, is arrested when the police find a woman in the trunk of his car.

[574] All right?

[575] So that's where we're starting.

[576] A woman's body?

[577] A woman, uh, Be deceased.

[578] Yes.

[579] Okay.

[580] Okay.

[581] So, no, no. I'm sorry.

[582] Okay, sorry.

[583] She's alive.

[584] I'm sorry.

[585] I immediately started questioning.

[586] No, you were right to question because I clearly don't know.

[587] Let me start over.

[588] Okay.

[589] In May of 1982, 39 -year -old Leslie Allen Williams of Detroit is arrested when the police found a woman in the trunk of his car, a live woman.

[590] Uh -huh.

[591] He's charged with attempted murder, attempted rape, and kidnapping.

[592] She had just been abducted from a cemetery that was close by.

[593] was visiting her mom's grave.

[594] What?

[595] Like, can you pick a fucking better time, dude?

[596] Oh.

[597] Like, I don't know what a good time to get kidnapped is, but it's not then.

[598] Well, I mean, if you're evil, that's the best time.

[599] Yeah.

[600] Oh, man. Oh, wait, too, you're at your saddest.

[601] Yeah.

[602] It's either that or when you're watching ordinary people.

[603] There are a couple times I'm going to grab you.

[604] That is a saddest movie.

[605] Yeah.

[606] Or maybe if you're at the pound.

[607] Yeah.

[608] And then you just walked out of the pound.

[609] Post pound kidnappings.

[610] It's going to become the new fucking thing.

[611] So sad.

[612] Ugh.

[613] That's the new thing.

[614] Or like you're in a dressing room, trying to pull on pants on too tight.

[615] This is why I don't go in dressing rooms.

[616] That's not why.

[617] But also, I don't go dressing rooms.

[618] Fuck that.

[619] Okay.

[620] I'm just going to keep thinking of sad times and then you go.

[621] No, I love it.

[622] I know we're missing some good ones.

[623] So Leslie Allen Williams, he's a dude again.

[624] The first time he was arrested was when he was a teenager and he was convicted of attempted breaking and entering, larceny from.

[625] an auto, breaking and entering, assault with intent to commit murder, assault, and first -degree criminal sexual conduct when he's a fucking teenager.

[626] Oh, that was a ton of things.

[627] Yeah.

[628] Do you think he's going to straighten his life out?

[629] Yes.

[630] Nope.

[631] Oh.

[632] Turns out nope.

[633] Oh.

[634] So in 1983, he pleads guilty to sexual assault with intent to commit kidnapping and assault with intent to sexually penetrate for a kidnapping committed less than.

[635] And it was committed less than two weeks after he's paroled from prison.

[636] So the original time he gets prison when he was a teenager, two weeks later, he fucking does all this crazy shit because he's like, I can't control myself.

[637] Yeah.

[638] He's got out and he's like, what should I do?

[639] Pinball?

[640] Yeah.

[641] He's like, rehabilitation works.

[642] No, it doesn't.

[643] No, it really doesn't.

[644] So then after that, he's, so at that time in 83, he gets a sentence of seven to 30 years.

[645] In 1990, after serving seven years, he's paroled.

[646] Just the fucking bare minimum.

[647] I mean, bye, even though it took two weeks for him to commit.

[648] I mean, something that you and I are going to commit in our lifetimes, probably.

[649] But not in two weeks.

[650] Right.

[651] You already have a couple of those.

[652] Right.

[653] I don't want to talk about, it's not about what I've done.

[654] It's not what I'm guilty of.

[655] Like, we're here to point the finger.

[656] You're so modest.

[657] Like, you don't even want to make this about you.

[658] And, like, just don't want to.

[659] Oh, my, um, guineas.

[660] You don't want to be more badass than Leslie Allen Williams.

[661] My super long rap sheet.

[662] Okay.

[663] Paroled after seven years.

[664] And then so when he gets caught with this woman in his trunk, who's still alive, that's two years after he's paroled.

[665] So like, what was he up to those past two years, Karen?

[666] He probably had like a bunch of pictures on his wall and he was connecting pictures with red string.

[667] Oh, they do that in every fucking detective movie, right?

[668] Yeah, like, but instead of being a detective.

[669] he's like the criminal that's really planning stuff out yeah talk um i mean right you wanted a suggestion didn't you i did thank you okay okay no i did so while he's in prison he tells reporters that he should be quote locked up and that leads authorities to think that he might be fucking doing had done some other crimes then his girlfriend always the fucking girlfriend was like you know what he liked to visit this one rural field near town that maybe you should check that out.

[670] Who visits fields?

[671] Fucking serial killers who bury bodies.

[672] Right?

[673] In those fields.

[674] Other than that, it's like, who, what do you?

[675] Why do you need to go to a field?

[676] You're fine without going to that field.

[677] Unless you're a ghost baseball player, you don't need to be in that field.

[678] Oh, that's true.

[679] That was good, though.

[680] I really liked that.

[681] That was like, quick.

[682] Um, so, So his girlfriend, so they go to this place and they find the body of 18 -year -old Cammy Marie Villanova, Villanova.

[683] So it's in a field near town, 35 miles northwest of Detroit.

[684] They're like, hey, dude, we found this body in this place you like to hang out.

[685] And he was like, well, shit, I did it.

[686] So he confesses.

[687] And then he leads investigators to the bodies of Michelle Urban, who was 16 and her 14.

[688] year old sister Melissa.

[689] They were originally thought to be runaways, because that's what 14 -year -olds do.

[690] He tells them that he had stalked the sisters in their town of Heartland.

[691] It's another suburb of Detroit.

[692] He used to break into homes there, and he used to break into homes of women he met in his therapist office.

[693] What?

[694] He went to therapy?

[695] Clearly, yeah.

[696] He went to therapy.

[697] Therapy, this is why I never talked to anyone in the waiting rooms of therapy offices, because I hate everyone.

[698] And also, what do you talk about?

[699] I mean, how's it going?

[700] Have you been crying?

[701] I've been crying.

[702] Also, it just makes me mad when we tell these stories to each other and it's like, you list off all these shitty things someone's done.

[703] It's like, and his girlfriend where it's like, yeah, so you can just date really easily.

[704] Not even his ex -girlfriend, like his current girlfriend.

[705] Current relationship he's having with another adult.

[706] Probably lives together.

[707] She probably, like, kicks him.

[708] down for fucking diet coax yeah right in the at the least at the very least at the very least she's making that son of a bitch casseroles honey i hope you're happy now i don't mean that i hope you're fucking how i mean like i hope you're happy yes i truly hope she's happy better things have happened yes uh wishing her well what is it the south people say where they say bless her heart bless her heart i always say wishing her well um okay da da da da he stalks him after He had broken into homes up women he had met at his therapist office.

[709] Fucking awesome.

[710] That makes me feel really great and safe.

[711] And he started stalking these girls and he had been peeping at them.

[712] He saw them eight times over several days while casing houses to rob.

[713] Fuck.

[714] He said he was sexually attracted to the way Melissa, the younger sister, walked.

[715] No. That's not yours to be sexually attracted.

[716] I mean, it's, you have a problem.

[717] It's not the way she walks.

[718] It's not, you're not allowed to be sexually attracted to something that someone doesn't want you to be.

[719] You know what I mean?

[720] Does that make any sense?

[721] It's, it's a nice concept, but it doesn't work that way.

[722] Great.

[723] Okay, so armed with a three -inch pocket knife, he confronts the girls by jumping from some bushes.

[724] And he puts them in the trunk of his car.

[725] Don't get in that trunk.

[726] Rapes them, suffocates them within an element.

[727] hour of kidnapping them.

[728] Oh, God.

[729] They're dead.

[730] This guy's just on a fucking Lesley's a berserker.

[731] He's just like only wants to do bad things all the time.

[732] Well, he's like, I had two weeks before.

[733] Who knows how long I'm going to have before?

[734] But it's like, well, don't do it.

[735] Then don't do it.

[736] Like you got me, he can't.

[737] He clearly can't.

[738] Clearly can't.

[739] This is what he wants to do.

[740] Besides go to therapy and have a relationship.

[741] Fucking asshole.

[742] He drives to the Oakland Cemetery, Oakwood Cemetery in Fenton and dumps the girls in a shallow grave that he had fucking I think made before, yeah.

[743] Okay, then, so the next victim is Cynthia Jones.

[744] She's 16.

[745] She's found near Milford, which you'll never remember this, but my husband, Vince Averill, is from Milford.

[746] With that terrible story of those two girls.

[747] An equally awful story of a fucking two sweet girls getting murdered in a park in Milford.

[748] Well, it just so happens.

[749] There's another girl from Milford.

[750] so in January she and her boyfriend Luke were confronted inside Luke's park car in Milford which is Michigan Central Park so they're fucking parked making out and you're like I'm safe I'm with a guy everything's fine it's like there's two of us like buddy up nope they were told he needed their car because he had just robbed a store so he was like trying to get their car he escorts them both at knife point into the woods ties Luke to a tree and takes off with Cindy He drives an hour to his apartment and he rapes and tortures her for a few hours and then took her to Buno Road in Milford.

[751] We had a pre -dug, actually, I'm sorry, that was a pre -dug grave, four -foot grave, stabs her, rapes her, puts her unclothed body inside the grave.

[752] Did I ask Vince about this?

[753] Yes, I did.

[754] And what he remembers.

[755] Did he know?

[756] Yeah.

[757] Here's what he said.

[758] Well, to be fair, he's the one who told me to do this story.

[759] so I said, what do you remember about this?

[760] This is crazy.

[761] Just that her boyfriend got shit because he came up on them in the park and tied him up and took her.

[762] People wanted to know why he didn't do anything.

[763] We were in 11th grade.

[764] That's so awful.

[765] So he was in class with her, his school with her.

[766] And the boyfriend, people were saying to the boyfriend.

[767] Yeah.

[768] That's fucking awful.

[769] He just, that's what he remembers.

[770] And then he asked his friend Dan about it.

[771] And he said he doesn't know if it came from court or he just remembered this that the The guy had Cynthia for a while before he killed and raped her repeatedly and would tell her he'd let her go if she just let him each time.

[772] Oh, man. So that's what he ran.

[773] I was probably from the trial.

[774] Melford.

[775] And it's like, I've been there.

[776] It's like a charming little suburb.

[777] Suburb.

[778] So all three of the girls as well as, as well as the original on Miss Villanoiva.

[779] They disappeared on weekends between September 14th and January 2nd.

[780] That's four fucking women then.

[781] And then he said to state police detectives, I don't want to cause any trouble.

[782] I don't want to cause taxpayers any grief.

[783] I want to be locked up.

[784] Lock me up so I don't do it again.

[785] I have no control over my life.

[786] Holy shit.

[787] I know.

[788] So his last sentencing had been in 1983 when he threatened to abduct a woman and he released her on harm.

[789] So he got a shit ton of breaks from the judge.

[790] the system getting light sentences, early perils, after guilty pleas on a bunch of charges of breaking and entering rape and assault since 1971.

[791] So multiple fucking breaks from rape, like you're like, okay, breaking and entering, fucking, like that just shows you how how much fucking women's bodies meant back then.

[792] Rape and fucking assault.

[793] So he gets sentenced everything and fucking Detroit goes crazy because they're like how the fuck did this happen and they want to hold all the parole board members accountable whoa yeah so they draft a legislation to make the panel more accountable they would get they got expanded they could only serve three year terms appointed by the corrections director and they could have them removed from the parole board and it went crazy and this is kind of why the Detroit or Michigan prison system is so full.

[794] It's because you can't parole people anymore.

[795] Wow.

[796] It's so easily.

[797] It's always like really hard to get ever again.

[798] Wow.

[799] Yeah.

[800] So it's hard to get paroled so they're fucking crowded or shit.

[801] Okay.

[802] Also there's a war on drugs in it.

[803] There shouldn't be.

[804] Okay.

[805] And then then so he's 62 years old now.

[806] He's serving multiple life sentences in the Carson City Correctional Facility in Michigan.

[807] I hope you don't live there, everyone.

[808] We're not doing a show there.

[809] Please.

[810] So then in July 2000, a local woman shares this memory she had from 1976.

[811] She says she's the one that got away and hoped her story would enlighten everyone to trust their instincts.

[812] She said she was followed by a man, stocked before stocking laws were in place, which everyone think back that there was not stocking laws in place.

[813] For so long.

[814] For so long.

[815] Even now they're light in a lot of places, right?

[816] And he captures her, manages to get away with her mom, and they report the police.

[817] There was nothing they could do because he hadn't committed a crime.

[818] So he was aggressively stalking her.

[819] He kidnaps her, but I don't know if he kidnapped her.

[820] I'm sorry.

[821] He didn't get her.

[822] Oh, oh, sorry.

[823] No, I'm sorry.

[824] No. I'm the one.

[825] No, I am.

[826] In the end, she wrote, it's human nature to assume that things like this happen to someone else somewhere else i'm here to say that it can happen to you and it can happen here i grew up in a small town called fenton michigan and the man that chased me was leslie allen williams are you willing to go on assuming that this can happen to you wow yeah oh so so he chased her and then her mom showed up and she got away yeah but he had been aggressively stalking her before that and the cops were like well he didn't commit a crime he didn't once he stabs you let us know and then we'll give him to you years in prison.

[827] Well, and yeah, that's why those, the people that got those stalking laws, I mean, there's like TV movies about it where it's just like, it's gone on for so long and it's basically like, well, we can't do anything.

[828] I'm terrified.

[829] Have you ever been stalked?

[830] No. I had a creep once, but it wasn't like aggressive stalking.

[831] It's just like a place I worked at that this person would like show up a lot.

[832] This is why, again, like, why is an attempted murder, tried more harshly.

[833] They attempted to murder someone and they didn't do it.

[834] So you're only going to give them a quarter of the time they would have gotten We can't keep talking about this.

[835] Yes, we can.

[836] And we can change things.

[837] And we will change the law.

[838] But the law you want to change is you want attempted murder be changed into murder.

[839] No, I want it to be harsher sentences.

[840] Yes.

[841] Well, but all around, I mean I agree with you in that way.

[842] And we are reading stories from sometimes that are from like 20, 30 years ago.

[843] Where it almost just is a cultural attitude where it's like that's fine or they'll go to jail, it'll change.

[844] And there is that thing of like, yes, rape is a, you know, there was a, there was a man who, I think this was a story that was tweeted.

[845] He, it was a pedophile.

[846] He was arrested and given 522 years in jail.

[847] So it's like, I think we are catching up to this idea that we want to ensure that these people don't hurt people anymore.

[848] Right.

[849] But the idea that it was set up so that this man was harsher on himself than the parole board was on him.

[850] He was saying, please lock me up.

[851] Please take this seriously.

[852] I mean, that's crazy.

[853] Yeah.

[854] Fucked up.

[855] And that Vince knew one of the fucking...

[856] The idea that that guy got shit for basically being a victim.

[857] It wasn't even like people suspected him.

[858] You know what I mean?

[859] Like, you know how that happens?

[860] Like, oh, we think it was the boyfriend.

[861] It wasn't even like, it was worse than that because you could never be proven otherwise.

[862] Like, it's not like, they caught the killer.

[863] It wasn't me. And everyone is like, sorry.

[864] It's like, no, you fucking suck because you didn't do anything.

[865] You didn't do anything.

[866] And it's like, you don't know what the situation is like.

[867] Well, and also, if your life is being threatened, like, it's, you can't do anything.

[868] No. It's, that's just people really mismanaging their own anxiety and being like, I'll blame you.

[869] This is the easiest thing to do.

[870] Like, this wouldn't have happened to me because of this other thing.

[871] Right.

[872] Exactly.

[873] It's like, yeah, you're trying to make yourself feel better by going, if I was in that situation, I would have been able to take care of it.

[874] Therefore, you are at fault when it's like, I don't think so.

[875] No. That's, and what an awful thing to do to another person.

[876] Yeah.

[877] Not it.

[878] No. Hey.

[879] Did you get your haircut?

[880] I cut my hair over my sink tonight.

[881] It looks really cute.

[882] Does it?

[883] Yeah, I'm sorry because I was thinking about that part of the time.

[884] Thank you.

[885] But it's a really good shape.

[886] It's not like a mom, boss.

[887] though is it not in the least it's actually super 20s that's why I was very distracted by it because I keep thinking I look like I would like be a mom in a minivan commercial you know what I mean no it has really good angles okay thank you I cut it myself I went to three months of beauty school this is the way that we I offset my anxiety about hearing about terrible thing yeah I want everyone to know that like we are not terrible people we're just this is like us lightening the load of fucking pressing anxiety.

[888] If you think we're terrible because we talk about hair, f -f it.

[889] Stop.

[890] Then you can listen or you can't.

[891] Listen or you can't.

[892] Right.

[893] No one's, you can't listen.

[894] You can't listen or your death.

[895] You can't.

[896] Nobody cares.

[897] No. We have to take that part out.

[898] No, we don't.

[899] We're all friends here.

[900] We're all friends.

[901] We're all best friends.

[902] Here's, now that it's my time.

[903] Okay.

[904] to shine.

[905] Go Karen.

[906] This is not going to be good.

[907] I love it.

[908] I made this mistake.

[909] Here's, I'll walk you through my mistake.

[910] Please.

[911] I started going into very deeply researching a woman named Mary Margaret Ray.

[912] And she was David Letterman Stocker for years.

[913] Oh, yeah.

[914] In the 80s.

[915] And it is a story that has felt.

[916] fascinated me forever because she, uh, she, um, was obsessed with David Letterman.

[917] She would break into his house.

[918] She would steal his car.

[919] She would get pulled over speeding in his car and tell the cops that she was Mrs. David Letterman and let, they would let her go.

[920] How did she get in their house?

[921] This was back when there were, again, this is the time where like, he, I'm sure he, like, locked the front door or whatever.

[922] And then she would be like, I need to get into that house and make it happen.

[923] and she would leave a presence for him inside the house.

[924] One time he was in bed with his girlfriend watching TV and they looked up and she was standing in the hallway.

[925] Oh my God.

[926] Yes.

[927] And, but here's the mistake that they made because nobody knew anything about stalking and all the psychology of it.

[928] He would talk about it on the TV show.

[929] Oh, so she got all this attention and she was like positive reinforcement.

[930] Well, and the thing that she had, she had a, schizophrenia and it's a very sad story of course once I started looking at it it's a incredibly sad story because she had it and so did two of her brothers and so did her father oh fuck you got no chance i mean that's it's so rough and it's the classic thing of she would start taking her medication get better and think she didn't need medication anymore that's everyone yeah i mean that's everybody does that even even if she wasn't schizophrenic she still was fucked you know by that many i mean not that everyone is but like you're gonna have some fucking issues well because schizophrenia they believe is very genetic right and so yeah it's it's it's very difficult and in that family it's like that i mean that's just such a sad story i mean i oh honey but like what you know yeah it's just an interesting thing that you have to look at everyone's life like everyone's kind of a victim and a yes and a well and like it's easy for we it's the thing I love the most about this podcast is we just get to say our opinion we're not obviously not experts obviously um wait you're not an expert well I mean I do I do know how to cut and paste from Wikipedia so yes I am an expert in that way but yes everybody has there's backstory and context everything you know but anyway the thing was the he would talk about it like there was a bit he would call his house and then go oh good no one's home and hang it like there was like he would do things like that on the show.

[931] But she not only had schizophrenia, but she had a thing called erotomania, which is a delusional disorder where you believe that another person is in love with you.

[932] And usually it's applied to someone with higher status or it's someone famous.

[933] No, I have that with Vince.

[934] Yeah, no, I got it.

[935] That guy.

[936] I have it with Elvis, Elvis and Vince.

[937] They totally love you so much.

[938] Yeah.

[939] So, but the problem is that in the delusion, they think that the secret admirer is declaring their affection through special glances, signals, telepathy, or messages through the media.

[940] Like on your fucking talk show.

[941] So then he's actually doing it.

[942] You idiot.

[943] Didn't anyone tell him?

[944] No one knew.

[945] They didn't know how to, like that, how to handle this situation.

[946] That's such a man thing to do in my mind.

[947] But it's also just an uneducated.

[948] Like at the time, were like peeping tombs are funny yeah um you just really likes you yes stalkers are like you so into you don't friends own him whatever did you what did you do to make him stalk you that kind of thing exactly why you're wearing short skirts if you don't want a stalker yeah uh and the the thing that when i found out this part because i was insanely obsessed with letterman when i was growing up i used to go to bed and this one i was like 12 and 13 and i would get back up at 12 13 and i would get back up at 12 30 and go pull the chair really close to the TV and watch Letterman from 1230 to 1 .30 every night.

[949] So you were kind of the stalker too.

[950] I also was a stagher.

[951] But I just, what was happening on that TV was like there's this other world out there that I can't believe exists that I want to be a part of so bad.

[952] It's like Chris Elliott popping up as the man underneath the stairs type of stuff where you're like, none of this entertainment is on my normal daytime TV.

[953] I love it.

[954] So it was very exciting.

[955] So I kind of like was like, yeah, I get why she's, she wants to go to his house and drive his car and say she's married to him.

[956] He's the only, that's the only talk show I could ever fucking stand.

[957] Yeah.

[958] Because he wasn't doing normal talk show things.

[959] No, totally.

[960] And he was so insanely rude.

[961] So it devolved.

[962] She actually eventually kind of went off him and started stalking him an ex -ast astronaut.

[963] But it was just all step down.

[964] Yes, exactly.

[965] I bet David Letterman was like, what?

[966] Yeah, he was like, bitch, eventually though, and this is the worst part, because she knew her life was that it was she was just out of control, she killed herself by kneeling in front of a train.

[967] No. And when I heard that, the first time I was just like, it's so awful.

[968] It's so like, it's so insanely sacrificial.

[969] It's so symbolic or something And she wrote her mother a letter Saying she was going to do it And saying I want to die in the valley that I love And she did it some I can't remember somewhere in like In somewhere in Montana I think or something It's just such a dramatic story Anyway I did all this work and research And then by the end realized Well that's not a murder That's a very sad story of extreme mental illness And suicide And then I was like oh So then I had to start over Oh wait so you're starting now.

[970] So now I'm starting, but this will be fast.

[971] No, I'm kidding.

[972] Okay.

[973] Because you're like, I have a show.

[974] So now you're starting.

[975] Oh, so you're going to do two murders.

[976] This is the thing.

[977] And I just, I guess I wanted to say all that because that's what I'm interested in.

[978] Yeah.

[979] And that was a fascination that I had.

[980] A person that is a female stalker is a fascinating concept.

[981] Okay.

[982] That almost never happens.

[983] I like that we can do this because sometimes they'll find these crazy stories and be like, but there's no murder but like fuck it's fucked up right i think we should talk about those maybe we should change the fucking title of the podcast yeah let's change this whole concept we really painted ourselves into a corner let's stephen erase what we've done so far race the past 45 episodes so this is what i did and this will just be the fasty because this is actually super fast so it's equally fascinating but it's almost like it's inverted shorty it's a shorthy okay and it's the story of the insane serial killer is real keys he's the guy he's did you ever see that that movie The Minus Man starring what is name Owen Wilson and it's basically a guy that just kind of goes around really nice, chill guy traveling from town to town killing people randomly and leaving town this that's basically so Israel Keys they don't know that much about him and he killed people from 2001 to 2012 what the fuck and he went literally he worked as a contractor in Alaska and he would take that money and then he also would rob banks and he would take all that money and he would buy plane tickets so that he could go and to random cities, rent cars, and go, murder somebody.

[984] And they wouldn't be connected.

[985] Nothing would be connected and then they would just go to a different city.

[986] Fuck.

[987] It's so fucking crazy and so, it's almost like it doesn't even scare me because it's beyond.

[988] Like, it's just beyond.

[989] It's almost like he was, he, he had the look like, you can see his mugshot online and he looks like a dude that would be in like a North face catalog like he's he's young and kind of cute and he looks very like sporty like a little weather worn but like in a hot fucking rugged way yes like he looks like a guy that would be on a hiking trail like one of the ages of the sexiest man alive in the dosaki's commercials when he's like 30 something so am I getting this right yes okay so the sexiest man alive is into camping this is this guy oh also and murder so so he and he would do that he would go to remote places so he would go to um hiking trails he would go to like national fucking parks it's the national park this is the national park guy so he would go into these places um and then just like just steal one person easy yes easy and take them torture rape murder whatever bury their body somewhere and then just move on and he he would pre -plan it so he had okay so I'll just read you I have so uh and I got a lot of this from this awesome it's just an FBI press release where they just said here's everything we know if you know anything please call us so they're like they're like because when they finally arrested him oh good he got arrested they they arrested him they got him to talk a little bit and then he committed suicide in jail dick so they knew they know for a fact that he killed 11 people for sure they can like patch it all back it's never that it's so many more because uh the amount of planning that went into these things is super crazy because he would bury cashes all around the country so they were basically like kill kits with money in them so so he could go there and be like here's my kill kit yep but he wouldn't be traveling with it right so if a cop pulled him over and he he had a rental car and he was in Arizona, the cop would be like, oh, it's a dude in a rental car, you're speeding, knock it off.

[990] At no time was there like, what's that duffel bag or whatever?

[991] I mean, if you're going to be that fucking like, what's the word, organized and, dedicated?

[992] Dedicated.

[993] Like, just be a fucking coder or something.

[994] Like, get a job.

[995] I know.

[996] Why do you have to dedicate that to fucking killing people?

[997] Don't be a dick.

[998] Why you got to be bad?

[999] Yeah.

[1000] He's got to be bad.

[1001] This guy said apparently when he got out of the army.

[1002] So he was like, he got kicked out of the house when he was 17.

[1003] And his parents who used to be Amish and then joined some weird, they, one of the articles said it was like a cultish church in Wells, Texas.

[1004] Oh, like the Amish?

[1005] Like similar to the Amish cult?

[1006] Yeah, but they like build nice things and they like, you know, they have that, have you seen that area, that space heater that they make?

[1007] It's really nice.

[1008] Come on.

[1009] Um, well, anyway, he got kicked out of the house and his parents told his siblings, you're not allowed to talk to him anymore, which I want to know what the hell happened.

[1010] But molested everyone, like everyone in town.

[1011] Or he was just like super rude at Thanksgiving.

[1012] Um, one of the two.

[1013] But so he told the FBI that he had buried some of those caches.

[1014] So we, sorry, I was going to say he went into the army for a while he got a dismembered disbarred from the army dishonorily discharged discharge that's right and uh dishonorably no he just regularly discharged but he told people that he was in the army with i can't wait to get out of the army so i can kill a bunch of people cool super chill super like oh do you want to go get a beer later okay no that's cool because you want to go kill people.

[1015] Oh, that is real.

[1016] Always joking around.

[1017] You know, that guy is real.

[1018] So he, so apparently he has these caches buried in, the FBI actually went and found, there was one in Eagle River, Alaska, and there was one near Blake Falls Reservoir in New York.

[1019] And then they also, oh, he admitted to burying them in Green River, Wyoming.

[1020] and...

[1021] This is why I have a metal detector.

[1022] Right.

[1023] And Port Angeles, Washington.

[1024] Okay.

[1025] And he's doing tours there.

[1026] All those places.

[1027] Go find a cache.

[1028] That'd actually be like a new geo -cashing, but you're actually trying to find Israel Keys caches with geo -cashing.

[1029] Yeah.

[1030] He didn't know any of his victims prior to their abductions.

[1031] He described several remote locations that he frequented to look for them, parks, campgrounds, trailhead's cemeteries, boating areas.

[1032] And he frequented prostitutes during his travels.

[1033] Sex workers.

[1034] Sorry, sex workers.

[1035] And it is unknown at this time if he met any of his victims in this manner.

[1036] Of course, because they don't really know who the victims are.

[1037] And he indicated to the FBI that his victims are male and female and rage in age from teens to elderly.

[1038] See, when they get that fucking nonspecific, they're fucking.

[1039] out of their like that's crazier right he wants to kill everybody just wants to kill people he just wants to kill everybody okay so um his murders occurred in less than 10 states um but he didn't tell them all the locations um so basically the he just was doing he was kidnapping people in one state and taking them across state lines intentionally to kill them in a different state because then they wouldn't be missing people they wouldn't be connected to the missing people they wouldn't be connected to missing.

[1040] That's right.

[1041] So they find a body in Kansas and they don't know anything because the person is missing from whatever state is next to Kansas.

[1042] How would I know?

[1043] I only have like a seventh grade education.

[1044] We are the best fucking podcasters that have ever podcasted.

[1045] It's for real.

[1046] Oh, also it says here he would kidnap them in one state, murder them in a second state, dispose of their body in a third state.

[1047] Why that middle, middleman?

[1048] Because he just wants to to keep it clean because he wants to be able to keep doing it no matter what, which he did for years.

[1049] And how?

[1050] Oh no, keep going.

[1051] Sorry.

[1052] I'm not trying to lead you along.

[1053] He also burglarized 20 to 30 homes and he committed arson to cover up the homicides.

[1054] So it's just everything.

[1055] He's just throwing it all.

[1056] It's a it's a it's a casserole of bad things.

[1057] Okay.

[1058] He starts in 1997, his first victim, was a girl who was intertubing down the Deschutes River in Oregon.

[1059] Oh.

[1060] Stephen's ears just parked up.

[1061] Stephen knows where that is.

[1062] Oh, my mom lives in Bend right now.

[1063] Oh, so that's on, is that on the dishooting?

[1064] Yeah, the Deschutes is in Ben, yeah.

[1065] It's a girl between 14 and 18 years old who is tubing.

[1066] He takes her off of her inner tube, pulls her into the woods, sexually assaults her, puts her back on the inner tube, puts her on.

[1067] and she never reported it.

[1068] Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

[1069] So the only reason they even know this happened is because he told them it happened.

[1070] You think, you know what?

[1071] You know one of the safest places I would think are on an inner tube in the middle of a fucking lake?

[1072] With your friends.

[1073] With your friends.

[1074] And he, oh, my God.

[1075] Oh, there's the word discharged.

[1076] In 2001, he was discharged from the U .S. Army.

[1077] then from 2001 July to October he resided in Nia Bay, Washington and there he committed his first homicide but they don't know who or where he killed.

[1078] He just said that's where he did it.

[1079] From 2001 to 2005, he murdered, this is all him telling the FBI, he murdered an unidentified couple in Washington.

[1080] He refused to tell them if the couple was married, what their relationship to one another was.

[1081] So it's actually not a couple, couple it's just two people.

[1082] This makes he's so sad.

[1083] Um, and they don't know if they were residents of Washington's tourist or residents he abducted from another state and brought over.

[1084] I don't know why it's like worse for me when they're unidentified because it's just like you just know that there's so many people suffering suffering and wondering and waiting and that don't have answers.

[1085] Yeah.

[1086] I mean, it's devastating when you do, but at least you're able to contend with it.

[1087] You're dealing with facts and instead of any possible thing.

[1088] So it's like he really did want as many people to suffer as possible.

[1089] That's awful.

[1090] 2005 to 2006 in the summer to fall months.

[1091] He admitted he committed two murders independent of one another.

[1092] He used his boat to dispose of the bodies of these victims and he stated that at least one of the bodies was disposed of in Crescent Lake in Washington where he used anchors to submerge the body.

[1093] Oh my gosh.

[1094] And he said it was submerged in more than 100 feet of water and that he moved their cars a distance between where the vehicles were found and where the crime occurred.

[1095] And he didn't say who the people were.

[1096] So basically when the, it sounds like when the FBI is interviewing him, he's just kind of giving them the very most basic thing.

[1097] That might even not be true.

[1098] Right.

[1099] And now you go run and try to figure this out.

[1100] Yeah.

[1101] Good luck with that.

[1102] So then he drives from Washington State to Anchorage, Alaska, where he lives until his arrest.

[1103] So from 2007 until 2012.

[1104] How did he get arrested?

[1105] It's at the bottom of this list.

[1106] Look, I'm going to be honest.

[1107] It's at the bottom of this list.

[1108] Okay, go on.

[1109] Oh, I know what it is.

[1110] He murdered an old couple in Vermont, and it got a bunch of press.

[1111] And it was another one of his super random thing.

[1112] um oh no i'm sorry that that got they were like in the press a bunch but then he stole the ATM card of one of his victims and then when he went to his sister's wedding in wills texas he started using the ATM and they they got onto this stolen ATM cards being used and they got him there what a fucking rookie move but it also sounds like after this much time like 11 years of just constant random letters he's like i'm never going to get caught catch me or he's like, I can't do this anymore.

[1113] There might have been a part of him that's just like, I don't want to do this anymore.

[1114] Because even something great and fun, after 12 years, you're like, I don't know.

[1115] You know what I mean?

[1116] Yeah, that's not going to worry.

[1117] So then it just basically, the rest of this fucking thing is a list of cities and, like, very vague crimes and people.

[1118] Oh, that they can't.

[1119] And when I was reading it, and it goes on and on, and there's a Reddit thread that the person is, like, updated on this date in green, updated on this date in purple.

[1120] So they just keep on finding details.

[1121] And it literally is, he bought a southwest ticket from Anchorage, Alaska to San Diego.

[1122] He walked on foot into Tijuana.

[1123] He was there for two days, walked on foot back, took a southwest flight.

[1124] to Tempe, Arizona, and it's this stuff where you're just like...

[1125] Well, if he has this pattern, like, with the intertubing girl of just grabbing them and dragging him to the woods, it's not like, oh, you know, the person who disappeared, we saw her talking to a, you know, shaggy hair dude in a bar.

[1126] It's not like she's like, he's taking them home.

[1127] Right.

[1128] Like, you know, pretending to have a relationship with them, he's fucking dragging.

[1129] Like, there's no, there's no connection.

[1130] Right.

[1131] They never saw this person before.

[1132] Yeah.

[1133] They don't, they probably never saw him coming.

[1134] Like, it's, a place where people wouldn't be like if it's a trailhead snatched and then he's there and gone yeah also in the list as i'm reading it he was in santa rosa which is the town above petaluma oh my god there's a whole he's all he went on a like a whole like a wine tour on a wine tour up in northern california and the whole thing is like that where i just i started thinking about that where i got super scared i saw he flew into the oakland airport he rented a car, he drove up to Napa, then he stayed for like one night in one of those whiny hotels, then he drove to Santa Rosa where, and I was looking at the years like, oh my God, what year and was there anybody missing and doing no?

[1135] Oh my God.

[1136] Yeah, totally.

[1137] And, but then as I read the rest of the list, it's like, and you could do that with every location across America.

[1138] But I wonder if he did.

[1139] No, no, he did.

[1140] But the, why can't we find them?

[1141] Find what?

[1142] The people that are dead and...

[1143] Because they don't even.

[1144] Even, it's like there's the missing persons for, say, Tempe, Arizona in 2007.

[1145] He did it all.

[1146] Well, they don't know.

[1147] He could have done one.

[1148] He could have done them all.

[1149] He could have just gone there, drank wine and Napa and left.

[1150] He's that like, and whatever he was doing, he had his cash thing.

[1151] He never, nobody ever saw him.

[1152] He didn't go somewhere to buy a knife.

[1153] Yeah.

[1154] Oh, God, yeah.

[1155] He had money.

[1156] If something happened and they were like, you know, he ran out of money, he would have a cash.

[1157] nearby where there was like Bill's waiting buried underground.

[1158] He's the fucking best Boy Scout in the world who's also a fucking dick.

[1159] If a Boy Scout went fucking nuts just like had to rub that stick to try to make that fire and just snapped and was like, you know what?

[1160] Like this.

[1161] I'm going to be the devil walking on earth.

[1162] Yeah.

[1163] For 11 years.

[1164] Yeah.

[1165] And it's just, it's so random that that's the other thing I realized that this sucks because there's no specific storyline or even like any anybody because it's all just like and then he probably killed one random person like he's the one that there was I don't know if you ever heard about that there were the two kids that were spending the night on the beach in San Francisco and they just got shot and I almost did that one but it's just such a weird they think it's him totally was him they think it they do think that it's him because it's the When that murder came out.

[1166] There's no connection.

[1167] It makes no fucking sense.

[1168] There's nothing left behind.

[1169] They're Christian camp kids who are like trying to just have a camp out one night on the beach for fun.

[1170] And they both get shot in the head execution style.

[1171] But there's no way they have anything attached to like a drug dealer or there's no reason.

[1172] And he is the, he's the guy that's the no reason murderer.

[1173] Because that doesn't make any, like, there should be a pattern to killers, you know?

[1174] Exactly.

[1175] And if you don't have one, then you're probably less likely to get caught.

[1176] Right.

[1177] Fuck.

[1178] It's so crazy.

[1179] It's so crazy.

[1180] And also, it goes on and on.

[1181] And then at the end of this thing, there's a whole chunk called additional murders.

[1182] And so it's like he gave additional details regarding the abduction and the murder of a female described as having pale skin, possibly having a wealthy grandmother, driving an older car.

[1183] That's you.

[1184] Oh, my God.

[1185] it's that there's just a bunch of that shit what a controlling shit thing to do and then you're like you know how I'm going to get out of this kill myself yeah because I'm sure that the the the interviewers were like okay we're starting to we're starting this up we're asking him these questions we're going to bring him billy bob he's fucking gory to getting shit out of people like you know like yeah we're going to do this and we're going to start really putting some of the stuff together and with the information he's giving them he's saying I can I can tell you everywhere I was, I can give you all these details, and then, but bye.

[1186] Goodbye.

[1187] I'm not actually going to.

[1188] Oh, like, what a, what a controlling, oh, my God.

[1189] Insane.

[1190] So if you, it, to me, this is like built for web sleuths.

[1191] It's so, totally.

[1192] It's so perfect.

[1193] But, I mean, it just goes on and on.

[1194] But if you go on there and you see, if you know of a missing person or some kind of murder case, it's a really good comparison, I guess.

[1195] chart because you have the years and you do have vague descriptions you can they say if you have information you can call the FBI at 1 -800 call FBI no it isn't yeah that's not enough 1 -800 see that's not enough C -A -L that's 3 L -F -B -O that's four fuck they're not going to give you not enough numbers but what is wrong with my brain that I that call was like that's three letters.

[1196] I love it.

[1197] But you're the one that's going to figure that out.

[1198] You're like, you know what?

[1199] The FBI is fucking us over right now.

[1200] That doesn't lean anywhere.

[1201] That's not enough letters.

[1202] It's another mystery.

[1203] Oh my God.

[1204] What a fucking idiot.

[1205] Like I, what is wrong with my, you know what?

[1206] This naturopath is going to fucking hear me. Because clearly, I got some issues.

[1207] So that's, I feel like the Israel Keys case is one where basically what I'm saying is, go look up the name Israel Keys because it'll freak your shit out.

[1208] But there's not, I'm sure there's plenty more to say and we'll hear about all of it.

[1209] But that's as much as I mean like, that's ridiculous.

[1210] Because you do certain things like as someone who's very aware of that murders happen and you know, I do certain things like when I use my credit card at a fucking what are they called?

[1211] A meter.

[1212] Yeah.

[1213] A parking meter.

[1214] I'm like, here's it.

[1215] This is another trace as to where I was that day.

[1216] like in case something happens, you know, or like, I'll go into a liquor store and big, the cameras here, it'll show me going to a liquor store that day.

[1217] But like, if that's not, if you can't track someone else having followed you or like between this parking meter and something else, like, if there's just a snatch and fucking grab.

[1218] Well, yeah, because he's not going to grab you at a parking meter or in a liquor store.

[1219] No. He's going to, he's going to grab the person that decided to go on a nice nature walk by themselves.

[1220] Don't do it, you guys.

[1221] Why would you do that?

[1222] Not even by yourself, with someone else even, which you think you're safe.

[1223] Go in packs of five.

[1224] With knives.

[1225] With fucking Rottweilers.

[1226] With knives taped your hands.

[1227] And knives taped your Rottweilers.

[1228] And then just tons of guns and just start shooting at any sound you hear.

[1229] Anyone who fucking approaches you, shoot them.

[1230] Shoot them.

[1231] Disclaimer, we're fucking joking.

[1232] You can't sue us if this happened.

[1233] Yes, we're joking.

[1234] We're not liable.

[1235] So that's my super unsatisfying.

[1236] actual murderer's case of Israel Keith.

[1237] That's good.

[1238] Okay, thanks.

[1239] I did too.

[1240] Sorry.

[1241] The one night you're like, can I get out of here early?

[1242] And I'm like, you know what I'm going to do?

[1243] Give you two.

[1244] What a dick.

[1245] No, we're good on time.

[1246] I'm checking the time.

[1247] I mean, we're not, but let's just, I don't want.

[1248] This is more important to me. I'm sorry, public school at the Virgil, but this is more important.

[1249] What a great show.

[1250] Please go to public school at the Virgil once a month.

[1251] Public school at the Virgil, it's not as important.

[1252] is my favorite.

[1253] Oh my God.

[1254] No, I'm kidding.

[1255] It's such a good shit.

[1256] That's a joke.

[1257] Okay.

[1258] Do we, do, should we each say one thing that we like or that makes us happy?

[1259] One thing that made us happy in the past week.

[1260] Yeah.

[1261] Okay.

[1262] Oh, do want me to go first?

[1263] Because I have one.

[1264] Oh, you do have one.

[1265] Okay.

[1266] It is, I've been listening to, um, you must remember this, the podcast by Karina Longworth.

[1267] And it, I'm so obsessed with it.

[1268] I started, um, somebody recommended to me the Manson series.

[1269] It's super good.

[1270] It's Manson's Hollywood, I think it's called.

[1271] and it's like a six -part series, but she, I mean, talk about research, talk about, talk about a person who cares.

[1272] Polar opposite.

[1273] I mean, if you hate us, this is the podcast for you.

[1274] You haven't made it to the end, but it is, she's.

[1275] You're spite listening right now.

[1276] And congratulations, because here's the payoff.

[1277] Yeah.

[1278] It's such, it's, it's the kind of thing where I didn't think I was that interested in old time Hollywood.

[1279] Yeah.

[1280] And it is fascinating.

[1281] It's gossipy.

[1282] it's kind of dirty there's all these things where you're like i had no idea that happened it's just and it's beautifully done and uh so yeah i highly recommend that that's like great i was gonna say no you know what i'm gonna say so i found a new author it's like a true crime no no it's a fiction a fictional author i'm listening to her audiobooks and it's like crime and it's fucked up and it's fucking like a british procedural oh so i don't know i wasn't know that i was into this so i'm fighting it.

[1283] Yeah, but I like listening to it on an audiobook.

[1284] So it's called Blacklands, the one I'm listening to right now by Belinda Bauer, B -A -U -E -R.

[1285] It's fucked.

[1286] Like, this is, she's, it's, you know what I'm saying?

[1287] Yeah.

[1288] It's because it's not.

[1289] Yeah.

[1290] It's totally.

[1291] Absolutely.

[1292] I mean, it is, but it's not.

[1293] Yeah.

[1294] And it's not trying to be.

[1295] No. It just is.

[1296] Yeah.

[1297] Yeah.

[1298] It's good.

[1299] That's awesome.

[1300] Yeah.

[1301] Uh, what do we want to, my favorite murder at Instagram?

[1302] My Fave murder at Twider.

[1303] Oh, we have a, is our website, our brand new website up?

[1304] Our website is up and I should have a show's page that has all our shows on it.

[1305] So you'll be able to track it there.

[1306] Yeah, all that information we tried to give you at the, or we did give you at the beginning, you can have in like a way to reference.

[1307] The website is called, and I'm trying to think of something like super, like really dumb and funny that it would be, but it's not.

[1308] It's just my favorite murder.

[1309] Oh, you mean like, um, the fuck word murder mystery show.

[1310] Oh, yeah.

[1311] That would be cool.

[1312] sorry there's too much talking dot org something like that uh skipper skippers skippers skippers unite you guys thanks for uniting um with us yes and listening we fucking you guys are the ones you guys are the ones you're the one for me and the people who are for us and like we truly truly truly truly thanks for listening no Stay sexy.

[1313] Don't get murdered.

[1314] Elvis, you want a cookie?

[1315] Oh, good boy.

[1316] Bye.

[1317] Bye.