#510 - Tony Hinchcliffe

[0] Joe Rogan, experience.

[1] Train by day, Joe Rogan, podcast by night.

[2] All day.

[3] Good, googly, moogly, Tony Hinchcliffe.

[4] Yeah.

[5] Good, googly, moogly, fresh back from Indiana, letting those Middle America people know what the fuck is up.

[6] Mm -hmm.

[7] Middle America is a lot like Middle Earth in some ways, you know?

[8] You know, Middle Earth, like, where the hobbits live, the good folk.

[9] Wasn't Middle Earth, like, the cool people?

[10] That's where the hobbits were?

[11] I don't know about that, but I do know that Indianapolis, I learned something this weekend about Indianapolis, and that's that it's like the south of the Midwest.

[12] They're very southern a lot of ways.

[13] It's amazing, though, because it's pretty much straight west of Columbus, but they're like, and they were laughing about it, so I'm not insulting them, but they're a lot more like a -huh, uh -huh, than the cities around them.

[14] Like, you just go a few miles down the road, and all of a sudden it's all about racing, and it's all about guns, and a lot of camo shorts I saw because it's starting to be summer there.

[15] Yeah, there's a lot of country music lovers there.

[16] It's like Kentucky.

[17] Like, you'd never think that Kentucky's right next to Cincinnati.

[18] Yeah.

[19] You know, like, you think of Cincinnati, WKRP, remember that show?

[20] Lonnie Anderson.

[21] You think of Cincinnati's like a city.

[22] Yeah.

[23] And you think of Kentucky as, oh, man, what's going on down there?

[24] A lot of banjo picking and moonshine making barbecue and woo -hoo!

[25] You don't think it's right next to Cincinnati.

[26] The Cincinnati airport's in Kentucky.

[27] Oh, it is?

[28] Yeah.

[29] You land in Kentucky.

[30] They call it the Cincinnati Airport because they're ashamed.

[31] They're in Kentucky.

[32] That's so sad.

[33] And I'm like, you know, Kentucky people, Kentucky's awesome.

[34] Louisville's awesome.

[35] You know, Kentucky fried chicken.

[36] All right?

[37] You guys are known for bourbon.

[38] Like, you guys make some great shit.

[39] Kentucky's where corvettes are made.

[40] They make all their corvettes in Kentucky.

[41] Jeremy Clarkson, the guy from Top Gear, was driving this corvette.

[42] and he like yelled out like while I was driving it well done fat man from Kentucky you have created a masterpiece I thought you're going to say he's going to yell out the N word or something no he did that later he did that that poor bastard people have hubris man they think they can say things like that I read something cool about Kentucky fried chicken since you brought it up I'm going to say it it's uh the colonel like whoever the actual KFC guy was his protege or like the person who he trained underneath him his favorite guy coming up the ranks of like fast food uh helped him out a lot like made some major decisions was the guy that told him put the chicken in a bucket instead of a box this guy was Dave Thomas who then went on to make all the wendies whoa powerful fast food conspiracy theory by Tony Hitchlow conspiracy theory it's like some shit that your friends told you when you're in high school It turned out to be totally false, but you repeated it forever.

[43] Nabisco is owned by the same people who make missiles.

[44] They're trying to kill you one way or another, bro.

[45] It's either with cupcakes or with missiles.

[46] Well, it is the same company that makes cigarettes.

[47] Nabisco is RJ Reynolds, and RJR Nabisco, RJR is RJ Reynolds.

[48] Impossible.

[49] The people feeding you Twinkies would not hate you and want you dead.

[50] Is that Nabisco, were they Twinkies?

[51] Did Nabisco have Twinkies?

[52] No. Who had Twinkies?

[53] Hostess.

[54] It's not the same?

[55] But it could be under the same.

[56] I'm so dumb.

[57] Nabisco owns a lot of stuff.

[58] It's painful.

[59] But Nabisco is known as being like, you know, if you think of like snacks, right?

[60] You think of like something that's yummy but not necessarily good for you.

[61] I picture the Nilla Wafers.

[62] Remember those?

[63] Yeah.

[64] What do they have that's like real bullshit, Nabisco?

[65] They have some good chocolate chip cookies.

[66] Yeah.

[67] Nabiscoe is some good goddamn chocolate chip cookies.

[68] They got the Keebler elves on their side.

[69] I do believe.

[70] Check this out.

[71] Dave Thomas and Colonel Sanders both won first place.

[72] They tied for who split, who could best fry chicken.

[73] Wow, Dave Thomas' chicken.

[74] Why doesn't Dave Thomas just sell I mean, he's dead now, but when he was alive, why didn't he sell chicken at Wendy's?

[75] He did.

[76] There was a test market.

[77] Well, they do sell chicken at Wendy's, but there was a chicken sandwiches.

[78] You can't get like a bucket of chicken.

[79] There was a test market company that Wendy started that I only think stayed in Columbus or at least Ohio called Sister's Chicken.

[80] I don't know if you, thing that was out.

[81] Yeah, I remember that.

[82] And they actually were way better than Kentucky Fried Chicken.

[83] They had these little chicken littles and then, oh man, it was weird.

[84] Chicken littles?

[85] Like a, like a nugget?

[86] It was, like, white castles, but with chicken.

[87] Oh, shit.

[88] Dave Thomas is like the Steve Jobs' fest.

[89] Well, hey, he figured out a lot of shit with Wendy's.

[90] Yeah.

[91] Like, you really did.

[92] Like, one of the things was that the food is never frozen.

[93] Like, if you get a steak or a hamburger patty, a steak, if you get a hamburger patty from any other place, it's usually frozen.

[94] and they just sort of like if you look at some of them they don't even look like meat like white castle it doesn't even look like me right it's so confusing you're looking at what a white castle burger is it's delicious but you're like what the fuck am i eating but if you look at wendy's like they get they get their patties they're big thick patties and they get them and they just they don't they don't ever freeze them they just throw them right onto the grill which has got to be better right yeah the less you can free shit you got to think like when you're eating things you're kind of taking in like live culture you're like if you eat yogurt you take in live bacteria you know and when you eat like anything whether it's whether it's um i mean any kind of foods sort of have like some sort of bacteria fungus on it just a slight amount and so when you're taking them in you're taking in like living things whenever you just totally freeze the fuck out of living things it's never good you know it just can't be good there's something something's got to be missing there i don't i mean i'm no scientist but I think when you freeze it until it literally doesn't rot it's not supposed to happen that's supposed to be fucked you know like if you have crops and your crops freeze you're supposed to be fucked you know that's what it's supposed to be it's not supposed to be freeze shit and you're eating like frozen peas like what is even in those things that's got a regular pee that's got to cause something right when that stuff gets frozen on the surface of a thing I would like to see a scientific analysis maybe I'm totally wrong but I would, from my woo -woo, bro -woo factor, how I would describe it, I would say you're losing the essence of the life form of the plant once you freeze it and kill it.

[95] Everything's dead.

[96] Like, that's the reason why it's not rotting.

[97] Is all that bacteria that would normally break down anything that you leave out and it starts to decay?

[98] That's all on the surface of that anyway, right?

[99] I mean, it just takes time to rot.

[100] That's what it is.

[101] So then when it thaws out, you have some dead bacteria instead of live bacteria on the surface of your thing.

[102] Yeah, that's got to be part of it.

[103] I mean, isn't that, that is what, like, taking live cultures is all about.

[104] Like, everybody wants to eat probiotic stuff.

[105] Like, probiotic, I have some probiotic, man. It was amazing.

[106] What does probiotic mean?

[107] It means it's rotting.

[108] Like, probiotic sourcrow is, it's like, it's almost, like, carbonated.

[109] You ever have that stuff?

[110] It's, like, fermented.

[111] Oh, I've had it, yeah.

[112] It's really good.

[113] I love it.

[114] It's delicious.

[115] And it's super good for you.

[116] It's, like, a lot of people don't know.

[117] Like, raw sourcrow is fucking really good for you.

[118] Oh, yeah.

[119] It's got a live thing.

[120] you're taking into your body.

[121] And that live culture is very good for fighting off diseases and for balancing your stomach.

[122] And there's a lot of people.

[123] Like, they're connecting it with autism in a lot of ways because a lot of people with autism also have bowel issues and gut issues.

[124] And they think that it could possibly be connected to like a wrong balance of bacteria in your body and imbalance, which is fascinating, man. Yeah, Sourkraut's one of the few things that is good for you and completely delicious.

[125] at the same time.

[126] Yeah, how crazy is that?

[127] Like, it makes a hot dog 50 % better.

[128] Oh, yeah.

[129] Easily.

[130] Sausage.

[131] You could put it just with anything.

[132] Oh, Jesus, Tony.

[133] You're making it so hot.

[134] Sourcrow.

[135] It's one of those foods where you can, like, smell it and picture it right in front of it.

[136] With a good, like, brown, seedy mustard.

[137] Oh.

[138] Jesus.

[139] You ever figured that out?

[140] Like, all the other vegetables must be so jealous.

[141] Yeah.

[142] They don't get to be on hot dogs.

[143] You get, like, pickles.

[144] You know, it's like, cucumbers, cucumbers and sourcrow.

[145] Those are the happy ones.

[146] Yeah.

[147] Lettuce and tomatoes is kind of bullshit on my cheeseburger.

[148] Oh, yeah, totally.

[149] The fuck is that thing.

[150] All those cool vegetables hate on the lettuce and tomatoes.

[151] Why should lettuce and tomato be allowed to be on a cheeseburger?

[152] Like, let's pretend this is healthy.

[153] It's so true.

[154] Lettuce is less than nothing.

[155] Yeah.

[156] What's the difference between a Broughtwurst and a sausage?

[157] That's a good question.

[158] Maybe it's a...

[159] It must be the preparation, right?

[160] In Ohio, Broughtwurst were everywhere.

[161] Like, there was restaurants that specialized in Brotwurst.

[162] Here, I'm always looking for a Broughtwurst, and I can only find sausages or hot dogs.

[163] There's got to be a place.

[164] I know you can get them at the store.

[165] I think Bratworths might be a little bit of a smokier flavor.

[166] That's my guess going into it.

[167] I have no idea.

[168] Let's talk sausage guys.

[169] Well, we're talking...

[170] It's a real sausage fest.

[171] We're talking ravens and sausages.

[172] Okay.

[173] The same difference is between a square and a rectangle.

[174] What?

[175] You've just broke the inner.

[176] A Bratworth...

[177] A Broughtwurst...

[178] Okay, this is the weirdest example.

[179] The guy said a square is a rectangle, but a rectangle is not a square.

[180] Oh, I see.

[181] So is a bratwurst, a sausage, but any sauceword is not a bratwurst?

[182] Brotwurst are pork sausage with a medium grind, spiced, mainly with pepper.

[183] Sausage is any ground meat in casing.

[184] So it seems like it's a sausage.

[185] It's just a different type of sausage.

[186] That's all it is.

[187] I mean, it's a pork sausage.

[188] You can call it a brought worst all you want.

[189] That's a creepy word, too.

[190] who's what is that yeah german bradwurst yeah what do you think caused certain parts of the world to develop that sound like that like when you get like weird sounds bratwurst yeah weird fucking language sounds those sounds of people in that region made like what got them to do that and you know it's crazy is like that's they think the opposite of us like oh i'm an american i an ununciate my you know what i mean like that's what's crazy is we look at them like they're weird and they look imagine how weird we sound like if you think of what they sound like and what we sound like their perspective must be like they must sound like we're like singing things because it's so pure well we're a fascinating example for the rest of the world because if you look at all the other english languages in the world they all are pretty similar australian and new zealand i mean i've got a good day you know they got a little bit of a difference but it still sounds like an english accent it's like an altered english accent whereas we got over here and went, nah, not so much.

[191] No, we're going to say it our way, fuckface.

[192] And we're going to make more bombs, and we're going to make it how everybody talks.

[193] Your way's weird now.

[194] Yeah, you're going to have to learn our way.

[195] Yeah, the English language is quite weird.

[196] You're somewhere, and you're talking to you, man, he's still talking about this.

[197] You're like, sir, I'm having a whole time understanding you right now.

[198] That's not English.

[199] This is English, fucker.

[200] Yeah.

[201] Hear that?

[202] Nice and clean.

[203] No fucking word slurring into the next word, like word soup.

[204] You're on a goddamn word food train.

[205] We're perfect over here in America.

[206] We know how to rock it.

[207] We fucking took your language and minceed it.

[208] We made it better.

[209] We even minceived your language, bitch.

[210] Who's our shooter of the day?

[211] I haven't heard yet today.

[212] I don't know.

[213] I hope they catch them.

[214] Fucker, man. It's getting ugly, dude.

[215] That North Hollywood shit was crazy.

[216] So that dude, the North Hollywood thing for folks who don't know, There was a man on a roof, and I saw it from Eliza Schlesinger's Twitter.

[217] Eliza Schlesinger was torturing her ex -boyfriend on Twitter.

[218] She dated a guy, Schlesinger, that made up a complete total history.

[219] He said his mom was dying.

[220] His mom was fine.

[221] There's nothing wrong with his mom.

[222] He said he went to Yale.

[223] He never went to Yale.

[224] He said he was starting up all these businesses.

[225] The guy was like $100 ,000 in debt.

[226] He was like living with roommates.

[227] like he was just he totally fabricated this super successful eliza schlesinger got saratiana she got saratianid wow she got saratianid hardcore but she was going off on her twitter and then i saw something about shoot the guy on the roof and i'm like what guy on the roof like you know she was saying kill that fucking guy she's so crazy so and then i went and then i started looking uh looking up stories what exactly is the the full well what pretty much happened is it started off as a police chase and then it went on like it was one of those ones that just went on every single highway and the guy finally got out in north hollywood and he just got out of his car and when he he was driving he was holding out a big uh rifle a automated rifle just like hanging out the window and so uh he pulls his car over in north hollywood and he gets out of his car and he pulls out this huge gun and he just starts walking down north hollywood with this gun and then he gets on top of a roof of a house and then at that time that's when i tuned in because i saw eliza's tweet also and then i thought he was just going to shoot himself but he just for about 20 minutes he was on top of a roof with a gun and then he comes down off the roof and he breaks into this house luckily there was nobody home and he just sat in the house for about four hours that's when like the movie i mean the real life just completely became boring like there's so the news for like three hours or whatever however long it was, was just repeating the same thing over and over there for three hours.

[228] Finally, they got the SWAT team all around the house, and they shot in a bunch of containers of smoke or whatever.

[229] And the guy just walks out, but what was the coolest thing is that the two police dogs just came running up to him, sniffed his leg, and then sat down right next to him, just like, hey, we're waiting for a whistle before we just chew your dick apart, you know?

[230] And the guy just like, you know, surrendered.

[231] so it was a really crazy beginning part of the movie or thing and then it just sucked at the end well it seems like four hours you know the problem with we have a short attention span we want all live all these live altercations to go down as if they're a 90 -minute movie that we can pay attention to yeah but i mean just yesterday there was somebody in vegas i don't know if you saw the walmart incident that happened in or the day before in uh do you think this is copycat shit i i think something's going on man because this i i was talking about it four days ago like how we've been having a shooter every day there was a guy in canada that i don't even know if they ever caught in canada the guy that was just had like three guns and he was going through neighborhoods shooting cops and stuff yeah he was shooting those guys who look like bow winkle's buddy yeah they they dress like bollwinkles pal the canadian royal mounties yeah they it's a horrible story you shot like three of them up there and someone i met someone who knew that guy i can't remember the exact thing but they they weren't surprised.

[232] It seems like it is kind of like a weird copycat thing now because, I mean, we've been having it ever since the Santa Barbara douchebag.

[233] Well, there's a lot of people out there that are probably on the edge and it just takes one thing like that to push them.

[234] Yeah, the school things with these, you know, like I saw a part of that kid's video where he's like, oh, I'm going to get them all.

[235] And it's like, he was talking, like he was doing something much bigger than shooting a few people.

[236] He was saying things like, oh, you're all going to, you know, I'm going to show America or the world.

[237] Like, he's talking on such a grand scale.

[238] And I think that they really think that it's even bigger than it is and that they're like a hero or something.

[239] Like, they're going to be remembered for that.

[240] Well, they know that that's the thing that people are most afraid of.

[241] So you can cause that thing to happen.

[242] You become famous.

[243] I mean, it's that simple.

[244] And they equate in their head being famous in that way as having an impact.

[245] You know, obviously the guy had a huge impact with all the people's families that he killed.

[246] That guy just drove around.

[247] He killed his three roommates.

[248] What was fascinating was that that became this like, woman's rights sort of hashtag, yes, all women, you know?

[249] Or I wouldn't say woman rights, like, awareness, awareness of violence that women face.

[250] And I got to admit, it makes you think about it in a different way.

[251] That hashtag is a great hashtag.

[252] all women because not all men have to worry about the things that women have to worry about.

[253] Like, you don't have to worry about being raped by chicks.

[254] You don't have to worry about, you know, like women beating you up or women stealing things from you or women trying to rape you.

[255] You don't have to worry about it.

[256] But women have to worry about it for men.

[257] Like, it's a whole different world they live in.

[258] You know, it's hard to think about when you live in your world.

[259] You know, your world's pretty easy.

[260] You're super twink.

[261] Right.

[262] Well, yeah, I was going to say, I'm about 130 pounds.

[263] so I'm pretty sure I can be raped in any given points.

[264] I know a little...

[265] The hashtag should be, yes, all women, and Tony Hinchlow.

[266] I know what it's like to be a woman.

[267] Do you remember when someone said that from the Who?

[268] Pete Townsend said that?

[269] So he knows what it's like to be a woman?

[270] Oh, what is he...

[271] Because he's been a woman?

[272] Really?

[273] Yeah, it was some crazy claim or some crazy statement about, you know, having had bisexual experiences.

[274] Pete Townsend's one of those guys.

[275] Like, if you do a little research, he has some crazy stuff about him, but he can get away with anything, because he's the lead guitarist from The Who, and he does that windmill thing, and, you know, when you're that cool, you could be crazy, but he has, like, some crazy history.

[276] He got investigated for child pornography.

[277] Yeah.

[278] And he said that he was doing it for some sort of a research project or something like that.

[279] He was researching child pornography, so in doing so, he's searching for it.

[280] Yeah, I don't remember what the project was that he was involved with, that he was saying he was involved with, but that's kind of fucked.

[281] There's one woman that could beat up.

[282] You were talking about There's no, like, guys can get raped by women and stuff like that.

[283] Did you see that woman that beat up that little 17 -year -old kid and he filmed the whole thing on the Connecticut Beach?

[284] There's chicks like that out there.

[285] He filmed it while she was beating him up?

[286] Yeah, there's this woman in Connecticut.

[287] He was flying with those little toy drones on the beach.

[288] And it has little cameras in it.

[289] And she thought, a crazy woman, like, oh, he's recording us.

[290] Like, it's illegal or something to do that.

[291] And she started, like, calling the police, and he started filming it on his iPhone, what she was doing.

[292] And right when she got off the phone with the police, It's like, she's like, you better get here.

[293] I got him right now.

[294] Because I just starts beating this kid up.

[295] And he's filming the whole thing like that.

[296] After I saw this video, I actually had to go in the other room and just sit down.

[297] Because my heart was racing so hard, I just wanted to kill somebody after watching.

[298] Would you like to look at it?

[299] It's really.

[300] I'm fucking flabbered about it.

[301] This woman, like I want to find this woman.

[302] I want to find this woman.

[303] This is going to drive you crazy.

[304] Okay, let's see it.

[305] I love this.

[306] This would make me mad.

[307] You had to go sit in another room.

[308] Because your heart was beating?

[309] Yes.

[310] Okay, buddy.

[311] Just breathe.

[312] Injure Mir's 23 did not appreciate this man flying his drone on the beach.

[313] She was under the impression she had an exception of privacy on a public beach.

[314] This guy is taking pictures and trying to upload them from a camera.

[315] Can you guys get here?

[316] At Hammond acid at Middle Beach.

[317] I'm not realizing this video recording her.

[318] He's taking pictures of people on the beach with a helicopter plane.

[319] Wow.

[320] Yeah, can you guys hurry?

[321] The video kept him from getting arrested.

[322] because she said that he had assaulted her.

[323] I already talked to him, just come.

[324] They released him after they showed the video from the iPhone.

[325] Stop, stop, stop.

[326] It gets so fucked up.

[327] Get some people here.

[328] Right now, all you're seeing is this kid holding on to his equipment.

[329] The woman is confronting him.

[330] He's trying to put his equipment away.

[331] You're assaulting me, you ass -wife.

[332] Whoa.

[333] She's like really, really hard to see what's happened.

[334] Yeah, I think this is fake.

[335] No, it's not.

[336] The woman was arrested.

[337] This is on the news.

[338] What is this guy doing?

[339] That's a weird half -guard variation.

[340] Look at that.

[341] Her hands are ripping in Thera's mouth.

[342] Yeah, she's putting her hands in his mouth.

[343] And he's filming it the entire time, like as a selfie.

[344] Smart.

[345] It's hilarious, actually.

[346] Yeah, you'll see how it feels when you see.

[347] Oh my god, this girl's crazy.

[348] She had a terrible half -guard.

[349] What told me?

[350] If you weren't assaulting me, I wouldn't be touching you.

[351] Well, maybe you shouldn't be taking pictures of people!

[352] Taring hair is close.

[353] Do you want to stop assaulting me?

[354] Get off of me. I'm gonna beat your ass, you little motherfucker.

[355] Can someone call the cops?

[356] I'm being assaulted!

[357] Help!

[358] Wow.

[359] He's just totally playing her.

[360] He's not really scared.

[361] He's just happy that he's filming all this.

[362] Yeah.

[363] Please get off of me. That video makes me crazy.

[364] This is photography, he's not a crime.

[365] Yeah.

[366] That's amazing that he got that.

[367] Why does that make you so mad?

[368] To me, it's funny.

[369] Because I've been in situations with psych.

[370] Yeah.

[371] What's funny is he wasn't in danger.

[372] He was doing this the whole time.

[373] He wasn't like, he was, like, making sure he filmed this girl beating the shit out of him.

[374] Right.

[375] Like, he didn't even, like, stop her, defend himself.

[376] He wasn't scared.

[377] I've been in domestic violence things before, though, and that shit where she could have just said, Yeah, he attacked me and stuff like that.

[378] She did, right.

[379] She did say that.

[380] I know, that whole situation drives me nuts.

[381] Right.

[382] To the fact where it makes me want to have a GoPro on me recording all the day.

[383] Yeah.

[384] No, yeah.

[385] You get assaulted by chicks all day long.

[386] Imagine we got Brian's upload and all day it'd be like chicks punching them, holding him down the parking lot and fucking kicking him in the balls.

[387] You just assaulted me. And he just wasn't telling us about these.

[388] Get over me. He was just keeping all these from us because he didn't want us talking about it on the show.

[389] It's like, you know, every day, another one, I'm going to bring it up.

[390] No, fucker, they're going to make fun of me. All day is just chicks beating his ass.

[391] Yeah, I don't know, man. I mean, she's obviously an asshole, but he was like letting her get away with it on purpose.

[392] It is amazing, though.

[393] It is amazing.

[394] Five, ten years ago, that same thing happens.

[395] That 17 -year -old who was just flying his plane on a beach ends up going to jail.

[396] Because if a woman does say, this guy assaulted me. Yeah.

[397] And the cops come there and they see his shirt half ripped as if she was in a defensive position.

[398] You know what I mean?

[399] Absolutely.

[400] It's amazing.

[401] Yeah.

[402] There's no doubt.

[403] There's no doubt.

[404] Well, she said that he was assaulted, or that he assaulted her, rather.

[405] They showed the video, and that's what got him off.

[406] So I think that she's obviously a crazy person and would lie, but I think that's normal for people that beat your ass.

[407] Like, people that beat your ass like that, physically beat your ass, they're fucking crazy.

[408] They're crazy.

[409] Of course they're going to lie.

[410] They're not telling the truth.

[411] They're fucked up.

[412] They're a mess.

[413] Like, that's got to be the hardest thing about being a cop.

[414] He's like, you're showing up, and two people are beating the fuck out of each other.

[415] You've got to figure out who did what?

[416] And you always got to side with the woman.

[417] O .J. Simpson law is what they nicknamed.

[418] And the reason why you get a side with the woman is because, like, let's reverse that scenario.

[419] If that guy had been beating that girl up, it wouldn't be funny at all.

[420] Right.

[421] But it was funny to me. Well, watching that guy, you're assaulting me!

[422] Will you stop assaulting me?

[423] While he's selfying himself?

[424] Come on.

[425] I think that's funny.

[426] I would not think it's funny.

[427] was a man doing it to a woman because I would worry that the woman's going to really get hurt.

[428] I wasn't worried about him getting hurt there.

[429] Right.

[430] I mean, she wasn't even strong enough to hurt him.

[431] You never know, man. He was only 17 and I was a grown adult.

[432] He was selfieing himself the whole time.

[433] She could probably have raped him if she wanted to.

[434] No, I think that kid is smart that he didn't fight back.

[435] He's very smart.

[436] That all he did was defend himself.

[437] Very smart.

[438] He's a smart kid, obviously.

[439] You can't just go around doing that.

[440] Like, yeah, you probably shouldn't fucking fly your drone into people's houses and film them.

[441] You shouldn't hover over their backyard where they're trying to sun tan and film them.

[442] I don't know what he was doing.

[443] It's a weird thing.

[444] This idea that you could put a camera on top of a little robot and fly it around.

[445] Because when we were filming that sci -fi show, we had some dudes that were really good at it.

[446] They had like these high -tech drones.

[447] And we were fucking around with them and putting on these goggles.

[448] And the virtual reality goggles, you put them on and you feel like you're flying like this drone.

[449] You're going over the tree tops.

[450] And I was like, this is going to get real weird.

[451] Because this isn't super expensive stuff.

[452] like you're looking at this this is like I mean a couple thousand bucks or something like that to get a rig like this I don't know how many thousand I'm just guessing but it didn't look to be like prohibitively expensive it's not like something that cost 50 grand or something like that I think you could get it for the price of like some toys that people save up and buy like there's a lot of people that can have a fucking flying robot that films everything no they have it fries for like 30 bucks like they're really cheap you know technology's crazy when that's like in the eye on the checkout area on your way out.

[453] I think I'll grab it your own.

[454] I don't think it's the same level of sophistication that these guys had.

[455] These guys had, like I said, virtual reality cameras attached to them, and they're pretty sophisticated.

[456] But they have a real problem with how long they can stay up in the air.

[457] They can't stay up in the air very long.

[458] They just can't do it.

[459] They're just running out of gas and they fall.

[460] You could load them up with batteries, but then that batteries is weight and it makes it harder for them to fly.

[461] So they need to work around that.

[462] I think they can only stay up for like 30 minutes or something like that.

[463] I mean, maybe there's something that could do it better, but when you're watching one fly over the tree tops and you're wearing one of those goggles, it's a trip, dude.

[464] It's a freaky feeling.

[465] You're like, wow, this is nuts.

[466] This is what it's like to be an eagle, you know?

[467] If they get that shit really, really good, it's going to be nuts.

[468] If they can develop some super clear, like get something that wraps around your head, right, like this, like your entire field of vision out like this, is all this, you know the screen and then figure out some way to film something and not have it make any noise so you don't hear oh you somehow another they can make something that doesn't make noise yeah these drones there's a really cool music video or not music video but just video of a guy throwing doing a drone over los angeles and he goes like on top of the capital records building you could see like the roof and stuff like that he goes over like the hollywood hills parties like that house that's above the comedy store and there's people having a party up there and he's just going right over people with beach balls there's Jim Hinson's studios he just flew over yeah see that's kind of weird that's kind of weird especially like say if you have like an ex -boyfriend or an ex -girlfriend they decide to fucking fly a drone around your house and film you while you're fucking the next person you know get mad at you you fucking piece of shit you didn't even wait a month you didn't even wait a month we were almost married you've got that horror in your bed I wasn't expecting you to be watching me with your drone my drones introduce me to the truth you're a piece of shit you're fucking deflecting when I bought you that drone I didn't think you were going to be spying on me I thought you'd trust me like the arguments of the future do you think this has to be used by like perverts and paparazzi's nowadays like just going up in hotels with little cameras and your own drones and stuff because look at this this is like HD look at this party that's on top of this hotel Look, these people are just having a party on this hotel.

[469] That's incredible.

[470] And it's drones flying over.

[471] People start noticing the drone and start throwing, like, beach balls at it and stuff.

[472] They made it in certain places where it's legal to shoot them.

[473] In Colorado, there was a town in Colorado that passed some sort of a resolution that allow you to shoot at drones.

[474] Wow.

[475] That's so funny.

[476] It's going to be like a video game.

[477] We're going to be like shooting drones every day.

[478] I know.

[479] Oh, here's a comedy story.

[480] Look, going above the comedy story.

[481] They've been there.

[482] Yeah, on top of the this uh colorado town apparently they're just considering it they haven't done it totally as of march 31st but it's deer trail colorado and uh there's 563 people in the town they're worried about drones you should be worried about getting up to 600 people your fucking town is tiny as shit your town isn't even a small theater that's ridiculous how do you guys have your own laws that seems preposterous that a town that little like you're driving through in the law changes and then you go to the other side the law's different get the fuck out of here the law's different and you got 563 people that's a cult okay that's a cult you got a cult you do not have a town you fucking weirdos they probably just made it legal for witches to even exist and they're like all right we'll allow witchcraft for now but those drones are the devil robot witches you can't have robot riches those flying robot witches out of here on their flying robot broomstick Well, there's these two towns in Colorado.

[483] One is Greeley, and one is right next to it.

[484] God, I can't remember the name of the one next to it.

[485] Deer Valley or some shit.

[486] Whatever it is.

[487] The one next to it, it braced weed, like in a big way, where they're just got fucking dispensaries opening up everywhere and giant warehouses.

[488] And right next to it, there's Greeley, Colorado.

[489] And they had this CNBC show.

[490] And it was hilarious because they had this guy who was like the sheriff of Greeley, who wouldn't allow it.

[491] And he was like, you know, there's been a lot of things.

[492] associated with marijuana now like we're noticing long -term psychiatric issues that are happening and you listen to this guy talking and he's like some old fucking cowboy some crazy old cowboy who doesn't realize the war is over that the fucking the guys like standing well you know no psych psychiatric issues what about booze you fuck what about cigarettes and the beatings you took and the boxing gym should all that be illegal you fucking crazy asshole look at these people they're having a black Right next door Go over to that place Go check out what they're doing They're fucking dancing the street And hugging each other Everybody's high as fuck They're making millions Yeah They're making millions And you're like They've been known Psychological issues Due to Merrill There's known psychological issues Due to fucking playing cards Okay People are nuts We don't We're not perfect The idea that weed is the one What's fucking Sending these psychological issues People over the top How dare you how dare you make that association especially since stress is such a huge factor of psychological it has to be the number one cause of psychological issues stress not to mention physical people don't really realize the reason why hearts give out is because of stress that's all the years of stress I mean yeah you get old but it's still stress stress exactly on the heart and stress is stress so it's so funny that that's a stance like marijuana causing psychological issues Well, the problem, Tony Hinchcliff, with your kind of thinking is we have data to back up our assertions.

[493] It shows a clear change in the human brain.

[494] We hear in Greenlee.

[495] The area that accepts bullshit shrinks.

[496] Okay, we need that plump and fat.

[497] That area is not like foie gras.

[498] We need it like a filled sponge.

[499] That's what we need that, the area that allows bullshit.

[500] And the marijuana is shrinking this area that allows you to tolerate bullshit.

[501] And I don't like it.

[502] I do not like it.

[503] We need people out there that can just suck in our bullshit.

[504] It's like a bullshit liver.

[505] That's what it is.

[506] You have a bullshit liver.

[507] You have a liver for booze.

[508] You also have a bullshit liver in your brain.

[509] And marijuana apparently makes that thing shrink.

[510] That's what I heard.

[511] Wow.

[512] They try everything.

[513] They've tried everything to scare marijuana smokers.

[514] Why?

[515] Why is that?

[516] They should just smoke weed and get their dick sucked.

[517] They would change the way they feel about all this.

[518] They'd be like, I can't believe blowjubs feel so good.

[519] do do do do do do do do from someone who loves you who tickles your balls when you come in their mouth hey while you're high jesus louisus okay they don't know about that do they know about that because if they do you know there's no way the sheriff of greenlee knows about that if you're a girl and you smoke a couple of hits of weed and then get your pussy licked that's gotta feel so good could you imagine like a shower feels good but you're high yeah imagine how good it feels for a girl do you like your ass licked?

[520] I like my ass like?

[521] Listen, you and I are never going to have this conversation.

[522] Let's listen to up right now.

[523] It ends here.

[524] It ends here with you.

[525] I'm not opening those doors.

[526] Jesus.

[527] What kind of a man asks another man. This is like a fill -out form for a fucking gang -bang video.

[528] Okay, now, do you like getting your ass -lick?

[529] Because if yes, check the box to the right.

[530] That should never come up.

[531] You should go from your cradle to the grave without anybody ever asking you do you like it in your ass licks right or maybe maybe that should be that that should be a fun thing about a funeral is you have to write the answer yes or no like on a piece of paper and then have it in your hand like when you're dead like in the open casket and everybody checked i secretly loved it did you check his note yeah it was a yes with two exclamation points he really liked it see the problem with the question like do you like your ass licked is that's not how anybody ever asks it if they're going to lick your ass right They don't go, do you like to get your ass licked?

[532] They don't say that.

[533] They would say, do you want me to lick your ass, huh?

[534] You do, huh?

[535] They would have a lot of hos in there.

[536] Like, you want me to lick your ass, huh?

[537] You do, huh?

[538] Like, they're already affirming it, because it's a risky thing to say.

[539] Yeah.

[540] Like, you want me to lick your ass, huh?

[541] Let me try it again, Jeff.

[542] There's an affirmation in it.

[543] You know?

[544] It's like you want that person to have an easy time saying yes.

[545] You know, no, it's like, yeah, because someone says, you want me to look your ass?

[546] And you go, well, that would be cool.

[547] You're fucking sick, fuck!

[548] Fucked you.

[549] I tricked you.

[550] Asshole.

[551] Right.

[552] The bedroom opens up.

[553] The camera crew comes in.

[554] You've been on the new show.

[555] Do you want your ass late?

[556] And then it becomes like a big court case where they try to figure out what what huh means when you add huh to it.

[557] And the lawyer tries to defend it.

[558] Clearly, if she used the word huh, she was trying to get a positive affirmation out of him.

[559] She was manipulating his emotional responses, the natural responses of a person.

[560] He was doing it to be polite.

[561] He didn't really want his ass licked, okay?

[562] He didn't want her to feel bad.

[563] She said, huh, already.

[564] He's like, yeah, okay.

[565] What?

[566] As it was happening, he was realizing he had made a mistake.

[567] Yeah.

[568] You know?

[569] He'd be like joining an army that thinks they're going to go out and fight Bigfoot.

[570] Like, you got all your fucking gear and you go to the mountains.

[571] Like, we are the Sasquatch.

[572] And then you'd be like, oh, what have I done?

[573] What have I done?

[574] I can't believe.

[575] I'm going to go, there's an army of people.

[576] I've joined.

[577] Fuck, I made a mistake.

[578] Shit.

[579] Yeah.

[580] But you can't pull out of it.

[581] that's what it's got to be like it's crazy poor guy Greeley Colorado you poor bastard right next door I forget what the other city's name is that the same place that shoots down the drones or is that a different place but the other place the name those people were so high that I forgot their name that's how high they were like the mayor of the town was joking around about they had the mayor of the town in this interview started joking around about This town's always been like that.

[582] Like Greeley was a drive town back in the day.

[583] You couldn't get booze.

[584] We don't want no booze because what we see when we have booze is less attendance in the church.

[585] That's a bunch of crazy people.

[586] That's what that is.

[587] Lot of hooting in the hollering.

[588] The reason why they're afraid of booze and pot, if they're that afraid of it, is because they're afraid what they'll do if they have a drink or a smoke.

[589] They're afraid that inner monster, whatever their fears and whatever crazy stuff's going on.

[590] That's what that is.

[591] Well, no, no, no, Tony Anshcliffe.

[592] I'm worried about your inner monster because my inner monster.

[593] is safe under the guidance of the Lord.

[594] See, you're a heathen out there running around with your own ideas, and I got children.

[595] Okay, Tony Hitchcliff?

[596] Well, Sheriff, I have bad news for you.

[597] You're going and praying to an imaginary creature once or twice a week.

[598] Hey, you fucking communist, lesbian asshole.

[599] Listen, you can't say that.

[600] It's imaginary.

[601] You don't know, you son of a bitch.

[602] I go to church.

[603] I feel the Holy Spirit inside me all the time.

[604] I move to tongues.

[605] You have been moved to tongues, Tony Hinchcliff?

[606] But then your priest, he drinks wine.

[607] I mean, Jesus turned water into wine, but you don't want anybody to drink?

[608] I am not a Catholic, sir.

[609] I'm a Baptist.

[610] Baptist, we don't fuck around with wine.

[611] You can't have wine in the church.

[612] Is that true?

[613] They don't drink wine?

[614] I don't believe so.

[615] I think the wine is a Catholic thing.

[616] Let's find out.

[617] This is Google that do Baptist use wine.

[618] I know the Catholics love wine.

[619] They try any excuse.

[620] Like, hey, can we get the...

[621] Well, you know what's really funny.

[622] Mormons are not supposed to drink coffee.

[623] Oof.

[624] But they can drink those energy drinks.

[625] I'm sorry, dude who was a Mormon Who used to pound those Fucking giant monster energy drinks And the dude would have panic attacks all the time It was just jacked to the teeth All day, just Just redlining it all day What is this feeling that this gives me?

[626] He has no idea Because never having coffee Can't relate to it He wouldn't drink the coffee But yet he's pounding these drugs Like is it an evil being?

[627] Right There was an evil being out there And it's corrupting the souls of our mortal youth.

[628] Red Bull gives me wings just like the angels of Mormon.

[629] Exactly, exactly.

[630] The Mormon religion.

[631] I drink a monster energy drink to be a monster against Satan's urges.

[632] I monstrously attack you, Satan.

[633] There's nothing funnier than Mormonism.

[634] Oh, there is.

[635] You know that when they think that when you die, you get your own planet.

[636] You know that, right?

[637] How do you know you don't, Tony Hinchcliff?

[638] Okay.

[639] Why so judgmental, Tony Hinchcliff?

[640] And that everybody lives on their own different planet.

[641] That'd be dope.

[642] We'd all, well, yeah, it'd be dope, but that's how you know it's a made -up story.

[643] It's only dope if we could visit each other.

[644] Like, it would suck if, like, you were on the moon and I was on Mars, but I couldn't get to you.

[645] I'd be like, Tony, where are you?

[646] But I'm sure in this world, like, traveling is, like, just so fast.

[647] Yeah, it's probably pretty quick.

[648] If you can get to a place where you have your own planet, I assume you just be wherever you want, whenever you want to be there.

[649] It'll be, like, instantaneous.

[650] Right.

[651] That'll happen.

[652] One day we'll figure that out.

[653] We'll figure out how to translate.

[654] transport ourselves.

[655] I think if human beings live for another million years, if we live to we're supposedly like this close to like this, this frame that we're in right now, the homo sapien, the way we look, is supposedly pretty similar to what a million years ago looked like.

[656] Like a million years ago, there was some ape -like man that kind of stood up, but fairly similar, you know, and then maybe in this form, you know, a few hundred thousand years, three or four hundred thousand years like this is a lot of guesswork involved and figuring it out but if we could keep going another million we would be hairless for sure we'd lose our hair we would probably be really slight and very tony hingecliff like like a dancer's physique an alien dancer and our heads would grow we would look like fucking aliens and then we hit we hit that point if we continue if we don't blow each other up if we continue and we don't get hit by an asteroid we continue to improve our ability to do things we'll it'll be nothing A million years from now, you probably will be able to transport anywhere you want, anywhere in the world.

[657] I'll want to be, I'll bet 100 ,000 years.

[658] Jesus Christ, Tony Hinchcliffe.

[659] At this rate that we're growing with technology, I think we're even closer.

[660] I would almost say 10 ,000 years away from training.

[661] If you think about 10 ,000 years ago, that sounds really dumb.

[662] But if, I mean, 10 ,000 years ago doesn't seem like that long ago, but that's a really long time.

[663] Yeah.

[664] Like 10 ,000 years ago, we find these, like, stone buildings that they made, a bunch of really cool shit that they left behind.

[665] But not much else.

[666] 10 ,000 years ago, I don't even think people are on boats.

[667] They didn't even figure that out yet, right?

[668] No, they did.

[669] They're finding out that people figured out a lot of shit a lot earlier than we thought.

[670] In fact, 40 ,000 years ago, they were hunting, they were fishing for tuna in boats, which is pretty sure that was the number that they came up with.

[671] Because they found these deep sea rigs, you know, where they used.

[672] these long lines and had these big hooks and they were catching tuna they found tuna DNA which is really crazy like tuna are deep water fish so these fuckers let me find out what year it was they figured out uh let me say what would have google there ancient people fish for tuna are you sitting on a yoga ball now no what is that chair that's interesting you're it's uh you're like fuck back support who needs it no this is this is the best um back support it's for me at least it forces you to sit straight like see how I'm sitting this is how you're supposed to sit right you're supposed to sit like this like your head's not supposed to be forward and when you most times you sit in a chair you wind up slumping sitting like that and then it makes your back really tight since I've been using this my back never fucks with me when we do podcasts that's awesome yeah you just you sit on it and your knees are in it I don't know what they're called like a knee chair or something like that but you just you're carrying your own weight and then once you do it for a while if you get used to it, then you start doing it everywhere.

[673] Like, I do it on planes.

[674] I do it.

[675] You should sit up straight, like, all the time.

[676] And when you don't, when you have bad posture, I used to think that people said, oh, you should, you know, watch your posture because, like, they didn't want you looking lazy.

[677] But it's actually not good for your discs.

[678] Like, your shit gets compressed.

[679] That's why when dudes have a fat wallet, they say never keep a fat wallet in your back pocket.

[680] If you're one of those guys that keeps every goddamn business card that you ever get, what was that?

[681] Pucking toys are us.

[682] $10 off.

[683] Oh, fool.

[684] You get these big, fat, crazy, thick wallets.

[685] If you sit on that shit all the time, you can get disc problems.

[686] Like, a lot of cab drivers get sciatic nerve problems because they get a pinched disc because your body's just got an uneven distribution of weight.

[687] And that's what it is, kind of when you're slumped or you're sitting weird.

[688] You know, it's an uneven distribution of weight.

[689] I have that 100%.

[690] Anytime I go on a road trip now, after like two hours, my right side starts getting numb, and I start, I mean, I start having like a little nerve problems.

[691] Do you sit on your wallet?

[692] No, I don't, but it's like how I sit.

[693] And also, I'm a sluncher, I'm a turtle, but...

[694] Yeah, you shouldn't do that, man. I used to think that it was just, like, slouching.

[695] I had a real problem with slouching.

[696] I slouch all the time.

[697] And I just, I think, I thought it was just, like, the way it looks is not good.

[698] Like, people don't like the way it looks.

[699] So my attitude was, fuck, man, that's so stupid.

[700] But it's just not...

[701] When your back is straight like this, like this is the way you're supposed to stand.

[702] Your spinal column, your core, is carrying your weight very evenly.

[703] it's all stacked up.

[704] But when your head goes forward and you sort of relax, you put a great deal of pressure on other parts.

[705] You put like, there's like a peak area of your spine that has additional pressure.

[706] And it seems like nothing.

[707] And it is nothing for a long time.

[708] And then it becomes something.

[709] And if you sit like, I used to get real bad back and neck pains from writing.

[710] And I think I might have fucked myself up doing that as much as I fucked myself up from doing jiu -jitsu.

[711] Because I would write for a long period of time and I would sit in a chair like this, with my head forward and then when I was all done I'd be like oh my neck would be fucking killing me I just don't like sitting like this because I feel like I'm like posing like a woman and I'm pointing my butt and boobs out feel like I have to like look back at it like I hate it or something so you're afraid of what the way it looks you'd rather just have a back ache right you know a backache is just easier to deal with yeah but seriously it does look really silly for me to sit like hey because I mean my butt's sticking out my poop's sticking out like I feel like a well you need to reduce both of those things they won't stick out as much that would help tremendously and uh believe me right right just let the boo that's that's brian red bill logic totally i don't want to lose my my boobs and my butt uh you know i've been working on this so he lost a lot of weight and got real slim he's like makes my head look too big fuck yeah he's like a freak that's that's he like spend all this work to get down to like 160 -something pounds.

[712] He was like super skinny.

[713] Yeah, I have a picture of me and you together and I look like a fucking Lego boy.

[714] You don't look like a Lego boy, dude.

[715] You just, you look healthy.

[716] I look like I had AIDS.

[717] Remember everyone called me AIDS -Face.

[718] Well, it's because you did it so quick.

[719] You did it, not everyone.

[720] You're at the post office.

[721] I can drop off some packages.

[722] Okay, AIDS -Face.

[723] Aren't you AIDS -face?

[724] Yeah, Starbucks.

[725] You know, Venty, Mokalate, AIDS face.

[726] AIDS face, okay.

[727] They write it on your cup.

[728] It didn't look like you had AIDS, dude.

[729] What it looked like to me was a guy who lost weight.

[730] You looked healthy.

[731] That's when we met Seth Rogen.

[732] That's right.

[733] Yeah, we did the High Times Music Awards.

[734] What is it?

[735] High Times Awards?

[736] I presented him with Stoner of the Year.

[737] And there was Jack Harar.

[738] Yeah, Jack Harar.

[739] He was alive back then.

[740] Those things are interesting.

[741] Those fucking High Times Awards.

[742] You meet all the fellow Stoneers.

[743] Maybe the nicest people on the planet Like celebrity stoners like be real Is there a nicer person to be real I guys are one of the nicest people on the planet And all those celebrity stoners They're all like super cool Doug Benson Sweetheart You know All this all the celebrity stoners Just super nice people Why anybody would want to stop A drug like that Well you know I'll tell you the problem with that Well you're not taking into account As a lack of ambition These stoners They take up You know a lot of room And they don't do anything.

[744] They don't earn their and they keep.

[745] But Sheriff, what about all the artists and the musicians that have come from a pot that smoke pot?

[746] You mean queers like Steve Jobs?

[747] Is that what you're trying to say?

[748] Yeah, Jesus took him from us.

[749] Let me tell you something.

[750] Jesus is not impressed.

[751] You didn't, you don't look like AIDS face there, fella.

[752] You look good.

[753] It looked like a...

[754] No. You're just not used to it because you're used to this backup.

[755] You're still all this support.

[756] You got your head, then you got some backup.

[757] When your body shrinks up, you felt like...

[758] like you didn't have any backup.

[759] Your head just didn't seem like it was...

[760] Oh, Brian, look at you.

[761] Dude, you don't look bad there at all.

[762] You look great.

[763] You went out some bad sex.

[764] You know, I've told you before.

[765] Why does everything that's skinny with you mean gay?

[766] That's so weird.

[767] No, I just...

[768] Because he's got issues.

[769] I just look like I had AIDS.

[770] You don't look like you have AIDS.

[771] Right, HIV.

[772] You don't even look like you have HIV.

[773] You look like you have diarrhea.

[774] Baby, like a little bit.

[775] Like you got that face like...

[776] It's adorable, Brian.

[777] Look, dude.

[778] Come on.

[779] Look at that picture.

[780] You don't look bad at all.

[781] It's the dude from weeds.

[782] But look at your face.

[783] You do not look bad at all.

[784] I can't watch weeds.

[785] I watched one episode, and who the fuck was on it?

[786] One of our friends was on it.

[787] Oh, uh, who was on it?

[788] Kevin Neeland?

[789] No, it's, uh, Brett Ernst.

[790] Brett Ernst was on it.

[791] Yes, right?

[792] What did he play?

[793] Like a drug dealer?

[794] He played drug dealer in the third season.

[795] I watched it because Brett was on it.

[796] That's it.

[797] I watched it one of the time, and I was like, this is fake.

[798] This is not real.

[799] I'm not buying this.

[800] You know what's fake?

[801] Is that catfish show?

[802] I heard so many people to say how awesome that show is.

[803] I finally watch it.

[804] The fakes show I've ever seen.

[805] Duh.

[806] I didn't know it was fake.

[807] Duh.

[808] You know, I heard on reality TV, sometimes they're like playing that shit out.

[809] Like, it's not really reality.

[810] Did you hear that, Tony?

[811] Well, it almost seems like it would benefit them with so much money, spending money on a production.

[812] Oh, wait a minute, conspiracy theorists.

[813] So you think that what they would do, just to make money, they would be willing to fake it and risk their reputations.

[814] That's a reality.

[815] show when i tune into a reality show i want reality you know that and i know that right that's a weird one to fake though you know that it's just faking people it's the best one to fake yeah all that stuff's fake they can really it the thing i mean you figure out how easy it is like what they're doing like people just looking at a camera like i thought for sure that he was you know the man that i thought dude people will do whatever the fuck you asked them to do if you have a camera in front of you i mean there's a certain amount of people that will do it so if you have some sort of reality show and you just manipulate these people and say, hey, you know, I want you to, this is what you're going to do.

[816] You're going to tell us, you know, that you've been texting this guy and pretending to be a girl, and then you're going to meet him here and say, I busted you, dude, and now I know what's up.

[817] And the guys are, okay, okay, okay, how long have I known him?

[818] You've been friends for 20 years.

[819] Okay, okay, okay, we've been friends for 20 years, man. And they'll say shit like that.

[820] Man, we've been friends for 20 years.

[821] I thought I trusted you.

[822] Of course they're going to fake that shit.

[823] It's like all that Mori Popovich and stuff.

[824] That shows still when I'm on the road And I'm flipping through channels I'll stop for a few minutes And I'll watch morey I'll watch the results Because no matter what No matter what happens One of them's going to get up and go Oh I told you I told you that that was or wasn't my baby Like whichever one One of them's going to flip out Because they you know it's just so coached Well one of the guys who was a doorman At um not east side comedy club Governors governors in Levitown in Long Island One of the doormen was a regular on those shows back in the day like this is a 19 I want to say 1990 1991 pre -internet and he used to get a call and they would say we're looking for a man who has been having sex with his brother's wife and he goes what a coincidence I've been having sex my brother's wife what do you want me to do they would they would say that to him see if you can help us out here that was that the conversation they would have what we're trying to find is a guy who got arrested wearing women's clothes and trying to get a job in a woman's office and they go oh what a coincidence they'll tell him the exact scenario that he wants so all those people are just they're just good at it like you'll see that Mike Ricka did it Mike Ricka did it way back of the day Mike Ricka who was a comic at the comedy store in the 1990s he did that shit for money I met Mike yeah Mike was a funny dude man yeah Mike was a funny dude you know I don't know if he's still doing stand -up anymore but back in the day when we started out together at the store in the 90s he was fucking funny man there's a lot of those guys that for whatever reason you know people don't find out about them yeah he's one of those guys that was there the first uh few months when i started and we like made friends and then i watched him basically quit i mean i he i know i think he moved somewhere else but i you know i watched him fade out of the store yeah but anyway he used to do that shit they would uh hire him to do like remember when um what was the chick jenny jones is that it the chick who had the show remember and they they did a thing where they humiliated this guy because there was a gay guy that he worked with that was in love with him and so the guy comes on and he has no idea that this gay guy loves him and he freaks out he gets humiliated on the show and then he goes and shoots the guy afterwards and they were like that's a rap for you and they just cease and desist the entire show yeah but that show was uh that was a turning point in those things they realized okay this is some fucking reaper Cushions to the shit like you guys are but in that that's when this stuff started getting more produced like they realized that Yeah, at least they got to tell the person before or something right.

[825] Yeah, when they did the Jenny Jones thing that was a real guy in a real office who was attracted to his co -worker and when that guy was on TV with them this Nuddy dude who wound up shooting the guy, you know, he was just humiliated beyond words.

[826] But whereas like if you were on there and you found out some guy at work thought you were hot, you'd be uncomfortable, but you would find it hilarious.

[827] Right.

[828] And you would, you'd probably have an issue because dudes can get creepy.

[829] And, you know, if you were a girl and you got on a show and you found out that your co -worker loves you, there'll be a real problem, you know.

[830] If you were a girl, say, if you worked in some office, maybe you even have a boyfriend or a husband.

[831] And you got some guy who's your co -worker who not only professes his love to you, but does so on national television in a surprise attack.

[832] Yeah.

[833] You'd be like, oh, great.

[834] Now I got to fucking stop working there.

[835] Or he's got to stop working there.

[836] Something's going to happen.

[837] Yeah, it is a weird approach.

[838] especially when you factor in that that guy probably told the gay guy probably told the guy on Jenny Jones on the air so that nothing would happen to him.

[839] You know, he didn't tell him at the office like, hey, man, I really like you.

[840] Please don't hit me. Like, he went on the air and that backfired.

[841] Yeah, I guess you probably thought, look, I'm going to be on TV with the fucking, nothing's going to happen to me. Right.

[842] I'm going to be on television.

[843] Nothing can happen to me. He's not going to hurt me. No one's going to hurt me. You can be on television.

[844] Yeah, and Jenny Jones's career is just going to keep going on.

[845] The show's going to keep going.

[846] everything's going to be fine.

[847] Jenny Jones is a talent.

[848] You're not going to stop her with one little scandal.

[849] That bitch is going to be back stronger than ever.

[850] America demands Jenny Jones.

[851] Yeah.

[852] She used to have a show that she would do.

[853] She was a comic.

[854] Oh, wow, I didn't know that.

[855] Yeah, she used to do a show back of the day.

[856] If you go to Jenny Jones, like, the early stuff, it's crazy, because she had this crazy, like, bulletproof hairdo, this big, giant, like, huge, sprayed -up hairdo.

[857] And she would do these ladies -only shows.

[858] And when I was living in Boston, there was a club, I don't know if it was the comedy connection or it was either duck soup or the improv because it was the upscale they had an upscale club and she would buy out every seat and there was no men who were allowed in the building the guys couldn't work at the bar guys couldn't work the door they had to have like all female employees females and the whole thing would be filled with females and so they did it as sort of like a gimmick and they had these all female shows with you know Jenny Jones would talk about her period or whatever or men stuff for things that men want to hear but that's when the guy fucked with her or that's when the the guy fucked with the other guy rather and told him that he was in love with them but if you go back to her stand -up you'll see her crazy hair when they had her on the talk show she kind of toned it down and her hair became like normal sized but before it was like some tribal thing before she was on TV yeah she had some tribal peacock thing going on oh yeah those network heads they oh we're gonna put you in hair and makeup no no stand is that stand up yeah she's supposed to on this I'm here it's guys look at that pow man good lord she looks like David Bowie and that like there's some that's like that's like rock star let's hear some of it he's a good eye doctor though man she's hot actually yeah I don't miss that joke I feel like kind of a spokesperson for women I think men should listen to me I think you guys can learn something really you want to know what I find attractive on a man cash I hate you where are the tightwides she looks like the top half of a centaur she can see what clothes look like in the 60s she does the way she's moving because she's on those heels she has to do a little balancing act she forgot the coupons we had to go back oh my god that got an applause break stop this stop this right now this is a CGI this is better CGI than King Kong DJ had the dire wolves in Game of Thrones.

[859] That's ridiculous.

[860] So true.

[861] There's nothing worse than a fake applause break, like a bad one.

[862] Well, I mean, they maybe really loved her.

[863] I mean, we're so happy to hear her just get out a joke.

[864] You saw the movie Punchline, right?

[865] I tried to watch it the other day and just see if there was, like, there was parts in it that I remember going, that was the, that was hilarious, but it was.

[866] In the wrong reason.

[867] Yeah.

[868] Well, that was before you did stand up.

[869] Right.

[870] And I was also like 10 when it came out.

[871] Yeah.

[872] Yeah, I was doing stand -up when that came out.

[873] Like, I was just starting to do stand -up.

[874] And I remember watching it going, what the fuck is this?

[875] This is crazy.

[876] Like, it's weird when you watch someone do something that you know they can't do.

[877] Like, if I was ever going to, like, say if I did a movie, I'll never do a movie that I have to play guitar.

[878] But if I did a movie where I played guitar in it, I would learn how to fucking play guitar.

[879] Okay?

[880] Because if I was a guitar player and I was watching some movie about Jimmy Hendricks and the guy's just like, you know he doesn't know what he's doing.

[881] and he's just moving his fingers around.

[882] I would be like, this is annoying as shit.

[883] I know he can't really play guitar.

[884] This guy's faking it.

[885] Like, if you're watching some fake kung fu in a movie, it ruins the movie for you.

[886] Right.

[887] That's why, like, in Kill Bill, you ever see that?

[888] Tarantino sent everybody in that assassination squad to Japan for like a month or two or three, some crazy amount of time.

[889] To learn Kendo?

[890] Learn all of it.

[891] They learned the art of the samurai sword.

[892] They learned kung fu.

[893] I mean, big time, like from the guys, from the main people from the actual old school stuff.

[894] Well, you know, David Lee Roth does that now?

[895] David Lee Roth lives in Japan and takes samurai lessons.

[896] That sounds awesome.

[897] That sounds amazing.

[898] He moved to Japan with his dog by himself, got an apartment, and he takes Kendo.

[899] Kendo is this Japanese sword -fighting art, and he practices sword -fighting.

[900] That's so cool.

[901] Yeah, David Leroth is a legit maniac.

[902] He's a wild man, you know?

[903] Doesn't give a fuck.

[904] Having a great time.

[905] doing kendo playing sword fighting one of the biggest rock stars the world's ever known and you know those Japanese people lose it if he comes into like their restaurant it's a bit of a valet jump go ahead jump pan the mud I bet not I bet he slinks right in you know because he dresses very low key like he wears overalls all the time and like one of them paper boy hats he wears one of those things all the time so he's I bet he just slinks around it's got to be so beautiful over there Japanese culture is so smooth and relaxing and cool it's very different that's for sure yeah like that's one of the reasons why Japan like if you go over there it feels like you're in another world it doesn't just feel like you're in another country it feels like you're in another world like the way people behave like everybody's like really polite it's very unusual they don't necessarily like white people especially the old folks that were around like during the Pearl Harbor days you know not not a big fan of white folks when it comes to that but the rest of them the young kids love americans young people i guess most of those pro harper people are dead but how could you expect it to not hate on americans they dropped two bombs on them yeah we're the yeah we messed yeah we did that that was a that was sort of an ouchy that was a big ouchy that's a such a dick move really is i mean we are the only people in the world to really nuke another place right we knew it twice too yeah do it once in the same day right you sure they weren't just shitty buildings.

[906] Let's try the other one.

[907] Yeah.

[908] No, I think it was the next day or something like that.

[909] Oh, oh, oh, it was.

[910] You know, there's one guy because I've read a thing, here's one that's crazy for you.

[911] I read a thing about the guy that was in both.

[912] He was in Hiroshima, right?

[913] And he had to, like, go to work, like, he barely survived or whatever, or was on a train or something like that to Nagasaki.

[914] So he goes from Hiroshima.

[915] He survives Hiroshima.

[916] He's in Nagasaki the next day, and then same thing happens.

[917] Can you imagine the luck on that guy?

[918] That's crazy.

[919] That's crazy.

[920] And just imagine that time of the year, or that time of the world, when you really could just think that this could continue.

[921] Like, bombs could just be dropping now.

[922] Like, ones already started, we're in the middle of a world war.

[923] And then all sudden, cities are getting leveled.

[924] Like, a whole city is getting leveled.

[925] I mean, how many people died those?

[926] A lot.

[927] And, you know, another thing is that the one in Hiroshima landed next to a hill.

[928] So, like, the hill actually saved a lot.

[929] lot of people the hit the okay the um atomic bomb killed between 90 and 166 thousand within the first two to four months roughly half of the deaths in each city occurred on the first day during the following months large numbers died from the effects of the burns radiation sickness and other injuries compounded by illness in both cities most of the dead were civilians although hiroshima had a sizable garrison Wow Crazy Oh we got a shooter of the day Oh shiting Shooting at Oregon High School Two confirmed dead Oh man That's today?

[930] Yeah just now Jesus Christ What the hell is going on Do you think it's going to become Where we all have to have guns We all have to carry guns Just like Star Wars Where we all have our weapons all the time All of us It's going to be one or the other Either it's going to be that or it's going to be no guns, right?

[931] August 6th was Hiroshima.

[932] August 9th was Nagasaki.

[933] So they waited.

[934] They waited a couple of days.

[935] God, that's so scary.

[936] Yeah.

[937] Yeah, well, that's what the gun people are worried about.

[938] The gun people are worried about, you know, they're just going to try to take our guns away now.

[939] And people are not going to just give up their guns.

[940] And they're going to vote for people that are going to be put in offense.

[941] They're going to ensure that you don't put up their guns.

[942] And then the problem is those people also get connected.

[943] Like, if you have a guy, Like, say there's a guy that says, I am going to support the Second Amendment no matter what.

[944] Every American has a right to bear arms.

[945] Everybody goes crazy.

[946] All the bare arms people are on that guy's side now.

[947] So that guy, you can attach that guy to a bunch of other shit you might not necessarily believe in.

[948] Like, you could attach that guy to a bunch of weird environmental shit, relaxing some of the environmental regulations that are on certain areas that are a bit risky to do certain things in.

[949] and it might kill a bunch of fucking weird fish, but whatever, we can make a lot of money.

[950] Those guys get attached and corrupted, and attached to all those things.

[951] Because you know that there's a sizable chunk of Americans that will vote to keep their guns.

[952] And then there's also the people that are on the other side of it that, you know, they, no matter what, they're going to vote against guns.

[953] There's no matter what.

[954] Like, if you, if you're, we got to clean up these streets and take these guns out of these schools.

[955] Yes!

[956] There's those people.

[957] And you got those people.

[958] If you are an anti -gun person, you say, we need tighter regulation.

[959] We need tighter restrictions.

[960] We need less guns, not more guns.

[961] You have those people.

[962] So, and then you can attach that to a bunch of weird shit, weird social shit, insurance company scams, where everybody has to get certain amounts of insurance.

[963] And it comes to more, blah, blah, more.

[964] How about we have, everybody has to wear seatbelts because we're paying out too much money.

[965] So they have regulations to protect you.

[966] You have to wear a seatbelt.

[967] Well, if I have to wear a seatbelt, how come this guy is allowed to drive a motorcycle?

[968] Are you crazy?

[969] He doesn't even have a cage around him.

[970] Yeah.

[971] Like, this doesn't make any sense.

[972] Okay, you make them wear a helmet.

[973] Congratulations.

[974] You make them wear a helmet.

[975] I think it's way safer for me in a car with no seatbelt on, and I'm not trying to argue for no seatbelts because I always wear one.

[976] But I think it's probably way safer to be in a car with no seatbelt than it is to be on a motorcycle when there's an accident.

[977] Right.

[978] And in a lot of states, they don't even have to wear a helmet.

[979] No. No. Colorado, you don't.

[980] You don't have to in Vegas either.

[981] Ohio.

[982] And that's a big one.

[983] Yeah.

[984] I think there's a few.

[985] There's quite a few.

[986] And I think it's because the people that ride motorcycles, they love that feeling so much that they're like, fuck it.

[987] I'm willing to risk my dog.

[988] I'd imagine that is like the wearing a condom of the motorcycle world.

[989] It's like once you do it without one, you're like, fuck that.

[990] Yeah, you're absolutely right.

[991] But nowadays with such great technology, with Bluetooth and phones and stereos and the helmets and stuff, I think more people are actually wearing helmets because it's badass to take a phone call while it's in your head.

[992] helmet yeah i don't know about that dude because the type of dudes who um don't want to wear helmets those are like the harley guys you know where they don't want they just want just their bandana floating in the bag and their woman their woman when their arms wrapped around my waist and i'm free i got my red white and blue bandana wrapped around oh wait is that a drone up in the air i'm a true maverick i'm not like those faggots out there pretending okay i'm a true Maverick.

[993] I vote Republican and I ride a motorcycle and my woman's got some long nails like to scratch my back and I feel them pulling on my leather my vest of my motorcycle club.

[994] It makes me well up inside, thinking about all my other brothers.

[995] My brothers out there on their metal horses riding out into the sunset.

[996] We're together we're a team.

[997] We're a band of brothers.

[998] I ride my bike and I'll bear arms and I got the arms of a bear and I'm a man. Did you ever read Hunter Thompson's thing On the motorcycle games He wrote his first book The big book that sort of introduced Hunter Thompson To the world was his take on the Hells Angels He was embedded in the Hells Angels Like hung around with them Went with them And he did it for a long time He was with like for a couple years He was like embedded in the Hells Angels And go hang out with him at parties and shit But then he got into an altercation Because a guy was beating up his girlfriend And Hunter, you know, said something to him.

[999] The guy beat the shit out of him, too.

[1000] And a couple other guys beat the shit out of him, too.

[1001] And then he wrote the book.

[1002] The book came out, and everybody fucking, you know, went crazy for it.

[1003] And that sort of started Hunter S. Thompson's, you know, gonzow journalism.

[1004] He went from that, which is more of, it's different, if you compare it to his older stuff, that's his first piece, which is more, it's still got that sort of gonzow edge to it, but it's more based in reality than, like, when he did Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

[1005] When he got to Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, that was originally supposed to be something that he wrote for ESPN.

[1006] And it was covering like a motorcycle race.

[1007] It was so fucking crazy that, you know, they were like, we can't use this.

[1008] And so he turned it into like this novel and that sort of kickstarted his gonzo career.

[1009] That in Kentucky, the Kentucky Derby, he wrote a piece on the Kentucky Derby that was pretty fucking crazy too.

[1010] But he was embedded with those fucking angels for two years.

[1011] and he's got some wild fucking stories man orgies and those guys would literally like kiss each other whenever they would have cameras on them they would kiss each other and tongue each other to freak people out since these big motorcycle dudes crazy beards making out with each other wow was YMCA were they actually gay because I saw a video the other day and it didn't seem very gay village people yeah the village people but it seemed like maybe one or two of them were but they do you remember do you remember Jamie Kennedy when Jamie Kennedy had that show the Jamie Kennedy Experiment?

[1012] What was it?

[1013] Jamie Kennedy Experiment was it the experiment?

[1014] He had this one episode that he did and it was about guys and talking these guys into being strippers they're going to be male strippers and then along the line gets getting creepier and creepier they're going to be on a TV show they're going to be it's like girls gone wild guys gone nuts okay this is guys gone nuts yeah yeah okay and then they tell them that it's going to be a lot of it is for gay guys but it doesn't matter man you're gonna be a huge star and all the stuff and he starts like going over like some of the gay things he might have to do like might have to make out with another man might have to all and the guys are like well man I don't want to do that but I do want to be on the show damn and then at the end of it they reveal but it's real it's not a set up it was a real show I mean Jamie Kennedy's fucking genius in that shit I don't know why he stopped doing that I mean maybe it was like lawsuits maybe they got in trouble for doing it that was like the best shit he ever did it was really fucking funny but it was all these guys so I would suspect that it's like that kind of situation that if you there's enough guys out there that if you just guarantee them they're going to be on television guarantee them they're going to have some sort of fame they'll do some gay shit well the reason why I ask is that that song that David or Eddie or Van Halen shit David Lee Roth did I'm a jiggleo right everywhere I didn't know that YM's or village people is one of their songs and if you watch the video it's smooth as hell like he's a pimp and then I was like wait a second I thought this was like some weird like gay band but you know all I had to do is type in are the village people and then Google filled out gay okay which members of the village people were are gay all right here we go Victor Willis the policeman and Glenn Hughes the biker were straight while Pepe Rose, or Felipe Rose, the American Indian, and Randy Jones, the cowboy, David Hodo, the construction worker, and Alex Briley, the military man, were gay.

[1015] So there was only two straight dudes, and the rest of them were just...

[1016] Four gay members.

[1017] Jerking off on them while they're taking nuts.

[1018] What was this?

[1019] That's it.

[1020] This is Just a Gigolo?

[1021] Check out, pimp this guy.

[1022] This is a Village People song?

[1023] Wow.

[1024] David Lee Roth, you have a lot of explaining to do it.

[1025] It's actually like a kind of cool video and it's got like this I just changed my idea of what the village people were.

[1026] You can really tell which ones are gay.

[1027] Like this guy's just hooking up with a chick and then it cuts to some guy with a black tank top and a pilot's hat.

[1028] Well, not only that, it's a black guy and a white woman.

[1029] This is an interracial vibe to it.

[1030] And she's really hot too.

[1031] Wow Oh, there they were again They're all in the alley Yeah They cut to the gay guys dancing Looking at themselves in a mirror No, the policeman was not gay The policemen and the biker are straight So the guy with the crazy mustache, that's the biker, right?

[1032] He's straight, believe it or not Wow How's that possible?

[1033] Hanging out with too many gay guys Hang out, he's got nobody Hey, nobody that's hilarious look at that the Indian is gay as fuck though see him look at him yeah yeah look at him yeah look at him dance look at that cowboy you can't tell me that cowboy straight I'll tell you that right now you can't even dance like that until you've had three or four dicks in your ass it's not possible to move that way there's a looseness in his hips but it's as crazy as the biker straight as fuck.

[1034] The biker's like, I am surrounded.

[1035] They're going to pounce on me. I'm just going to be so gay that they don't even want a part of me. That's what he's doing.

[1036] It's like manhalen.

[1037] Yeah, that mustache, that guy with the mustache, you would assume he would have to be gay.

[1038] Oh, totally.

[1039] Nope.

[1040] That's wait.

[1041] No way.

[1042] He's straight.

[1043] Yeah.

[1044] No, he was in the closet.

[1045] He was totally in denial.

[1046] Like, I don't know what you're talking about, man. I mean, I just, it's fucking just a job, bro.

[1047] I'm just playing a biker.

[1048] Even if he's not gay, his mustache is.

[1049] Like, that mustache jumps off his face in the middle of the night and goes and bangs dudes.

[1050] It just comes back in the morning, smelling like liquor and butt.

[1051] Butt holes in Bacardi.

[1052] Village people are great.

[1053] It's the only gig I can get, bro.

[1054] Can you imagine how insulted the Indians like the Indians.

[1055] Our representatives are quite pathetic now.

[1056] The Cherokee Nation voices its disproval.

[1057] Oh, that was an Apache.

[1058] Don't worry about it, bro.

[1059] Those are the enemy anyway.

[1060] You know the Indians?

[1061] Like, they didn't all like each other.

[1062] Did you guys know that?

[1063] Oh, yeah.

[1064] They fought all the time.

[1065] All the time.

[1066] Yeah, the idea that, like, the white man came and, like, there's a peaceful land.

[1067] They came, the white man and killed everyone.

[1068] You guys were kind of killing each other, too.

[1069] Oh, yeah.

[1070] The Lakota, like, Sue, like the Sioux Indian, the term Sue, doesn't mean that's their name.

[1071] Like, that means enemy.

[1072] That's what it means.

[1073] They call themselves the Lakota people, but the word Sue is enemy.

[1074] So these other native tribes call them enemy.

[1075] Obviously, the Americans, the Americans, the white people, Europeans, did a way better job of killing people and were way more fucked up about it and were way more evil about it and had guns and a lot of the shit.

[1076] but they didn't like each other either that's just people man you're never gonna find like this idea if you find this one peaceful utopia where everyone got along they were one with nature they were one and they did a lot of raping and kill until they fucking cut people up they did a lot of evil shit they ate people so stop everybody there's no like one race that you can go back and go those fuckers had it nailed those guys were super cool to each other they had a balanced civilization there was no murder no rape no theft It's never existed Yeah, definitely not We're a work in progress Ladies and gentlemen And shit takes time The universe has been here For something billion years How many billions?

[1077] 14 billion?

[1078] Something like that This planet's been here Four and a half billion 4 .6 something like that I'm not sure A long ass time Okay, we've been here For a million years If that takes time We've got to figure it out So no culture's ever had it right The idea that we should have left The American Indians alone Yeah, great idea fucking terrific and then what and then what exactly they're all the village people it's just a bunch of Indians come on we needed to get some Americans in there yeah not only that like I'm not I'm not like arguing for genocide but that's what happens when people go and they look at history they look at the positive benefits of like things that have happened that were really ugly like when like people talk about the Mongols they talk about how the Mongols they improve trade routes they killed millions of people too though I mean, they improved trade routes by butchering, like, entire cities of people.

[1079] Yeah, things definitely started moving more freely.

[1080] But people like to, like, look at the positive benefits of, like, things like that were horrible genocide took place.

[1081] So if you looked at, like, Americans, establishing American, Europeans coming over and established American, killing all these Native Americans, some people, if they looked at it that way, would say, well, if it wasn't for that, we would never have Atlanta.

[1082] We would never have Miami.

[1083] We would never have these wonderful cities that we'd enjoy today.

[1084] So in the long run, it worked out.

[1085] Yeah.

[1086] And the Indians, they have their casinos.

[1087] That's true.

[1088] They make a lot of money.

[1089] It's a pretty fucked up history.

[1090] When you think about the history of the United States only a few hundred years ago, there was these other folks that lived here, like only a few hundred years ago.

[1091] And as many is like a million.

[1092] There was a lot of them at one point in time.

[1093] There was a lot of fucking people living in this country.

[1094] Like the idea that this place wasn't populated, Right.

[1095] A lot of them.

[1096] They killed a lot of fucking people.

[1097] Yeah.

[1098] They killed them in the creepiest ways, too.

[1099] Like, putting, they put smallpox in their, their, their blankets.

[1100] Was it smallpox they put in their blankets and gave to these people?

[1101] They put, like, blankets, they had scabs in the blankets of people that had diseases, and they put it in the blankets and give them to the American Indians.

[1102] Oof.

[1103] Yikes.

[1104] Spreading these evil terminal diseases.

[1105] Sounds like our buddy Josh Martin's bed.

[1106] Oh, yeah.

[1107] Our friend just moved in.

[1108] into a place and he like his first night there yeah you got screwed over by these two guys that had a bedroom for rent and he gave him the deposit in the first month's rent and slept there for one night and everything he owned since he moved it all into his new bedroom got infested by bedbugs oh no yeah and they're like really hard to get rid of you need to wash seal you need to seal everything and wash it all at 110 degrees for an hour at least and you have to do all this stuff with everything his mattress is now garbage and he's like a very struggling young comic oh no so they knew about it before they rented him the place yeah so he's gonna try to oh this is this is somebody that just came off of living his in his car for a whole year yeah in the last two months he was living in his car after it had been peed on by another comic right yeah this poor guy's just not getting any luck yeah fuck man bedbugs are supposedly like all throughout new york city it's a real issue with bed bugs yeah you know i because this happened to him uh over the weekend i ended up reading about it yesterday and it's really crazy they were almost extinct completely and then in 95 or something like that for no apparent reason there was an explosion of bedbugs i remember it just being i thought i used to think they weren't even real i used to think it was just a thing that my mom said to me before bed like have a good night don't let the bed bugs bite like that whole thing no they're real dude when i was in high school my dog had fleas and she uh she got the fleas in my carpet and I couldn't get them out man I could not get them out like when I would go from my my bedroom like from my carpet to my bed I would get bugs on me and I have to take them off yeah that I had that happen once that was the scariest one of the worst times of my life it drove me crazy you feel like they're on you all the time and I was a fucking lazy kid too I wasn't going to clean my room I wasn't going to vacuum I just wasn't going to get it done they jump right on your ankles mm -hmm I bit the shit out of me dude I just have little scabs on my ankles yeah so I eventually had to pull everything out of my room And then foam it down.

[1109] We had to get this machine.

[1110] You know, those machines that they hire people to come by.

[1111] And, you know, you could rent them at, like, Home Depot and shit or wherever it was.

[1112] I bought one of those.

[1113] Did you buy one of us?

[1114] Yeah, if you ever need it.

[1115] Well, I think carpets are gross, man. I would rather have a wood floor that you can clean up real easy.

[1116] You can't really clean carpets that good.

[1117] It's, like, clothes that you never change.

[1118] I couldn't agree with you more.

[1119] I hate carpet.

[1120] If it was up to me, it would just be, if you have hardwood, maybe, like, a little rug.

[1121] And then when something spills on the rug, Get a new rug.

[1122] Yeah, roll that bitch up and light on fire.

[1123] Absolutely.

[1124] Yeah.

[1125] I think that's like a thing that people thought was like a luxury in the 80s or the 70s or whatever the fuck it was.

[1126] Ooh, carpet.

[1127] And they realized, uh, this is like a sweater that people walk on.

[1128] Right.

[1129] It's like a giant towel.

[1130] It is.

[1131] It's essentially just like a towel.

[1132] Like towels have those little things that stick out of them.

[1133] Ooh, you mean plush?

[1134] Yeah.

[1135] The fancier it is, the more it entraps bacteria and everything.

[1136] You know what I don't like?

[1137] don't like towels that are synthetic because you could feel it when they're wet.

[1138] When you're wet and you rub like one of those plush synthetic towels and it almost like doesn't absorb the water.

[1139] It like wipes the water on you a little bit.

[1140] Like it absorbs some of it, but you could feel the difference or if you get like a real legit cotton towel, you feel it like dry you off.

[1141] You feel it like take the water off.

[1142] Those slippery ones make me feel like I'm ruining the environment.

[1143] Oh yeah.

[1144] I throw those out.

[1145] I couldn't probably even, this thing would probably melt.

[1146] It wouldn't even light on fire.

[1147] It would melt.

[1148] You know?

[1149] I saw you at E3, or I heard your voice on E3 when they announced the new UFC and they played some of it.

[1150] And I guess Bruce Lee is now in it.

[1151] So you can fight Bruce Lee versus like GSP.

[1152] Dude, have you seen it?

[1153] Yeah.

[1154] The graphics are insane.

[1155] They're insane.

[1156] It's amazing.

[1157] They're so close now.

[1158] They're getting so close to like making it look like a real movie.

[1159] Like making it look like a real fight in HD.

[1160] And you're on commentary on that?

[1161] Yeah, shoot.

[1162] I did.

[1163] hours I was just going to ask like hours so you have to say like everything because you have to get every possible thing out yeah I mean I'm not complaining but I mean I am kind of but it's it wasn't wasn't like a difficult thing to do it just takes a long time right it's actually fun I would just pretend I was watching fights and you I would just do it exact I wouldn't when I was doing it I would just think about moments that things happen like moments like guys landed kicks or you know punches or takedowns or someone catching a choke and I would just remember like historic fight moments and just sort of try to recapture that try to pretend that that's happening while I was screaming at him so if you watch if you play the video it's very close to the way I would do Commodore in a real fight I love Bruce Buffers this is actual game flesh Bruce is the best yeah that's gameplay no one has ever been better than Bruce Buffer totally look how good the fucking graphics are that's incredible oh my god I didn't realize this was a game until you just said that that's crazy look at the fucking shadows and the way these It's so much better than it used to be.

[1164] Whoa.

[1165] This is crazy.

[1166] It's exactly like Rondo Rousey.

[1167] That's crazy.

[1168] And look at the movement.

[1169] The movement's really good now.

[1170] I've heard the ground game controls are a lot easier now to get into the Jiu -Jitsu moves and stuff like that.

[1171] This is crazy shit.

[1172] It looks so good.

[1173] that's a good guillotine i mean it looks real yeah they've really been spending a lot of time on this week but i'll tell you what people take a lot more head kicks in this game than they do in real life right it only takes a couple of those jammies in real life to shut the lights out this is wild is it weird to see all your friends digitizing video game form yeah the bruce lee thing is amazing if you if you pre -order it wow he's ripped the yellow, black.

[1174] You said that about as gay as possible.

[1175] He's ripped.

[1176] You can talk like that when it's about Bruce Lee.

[1177] You're allowed to.

[1178] Isn't that funny?

[1179] Like, ripped.

[1180] Ripped is a thing that people want.

[1181] They want ripped.

[1182] They want to see a six -pack.

[1183] You know, one of the best fighter possibly ever was Fader Emilienenko, and he was fat as fuck.

[1184] Yeah.

[1185] He walked around like a belly.

[1186] You know, he had like a little roll.

[1187] Like, he looks jiggles around the middle a little bit.

[1188] Didn't give a fuck.

[1189] Just, gone there and fuck guys up Anderson Silva was never that ripped either He was more smooth It means to obviously muscular And very strong But he wasn't like Bruce Lee You know shredded There's a few guys that are like that Fucking shredded Bruce Lee's like bad man Bruce Lee was like Legitimately one of the first guys To figure out that there were Certain aspects of all the martial arts That were effective And the best way to do it was to combine them all Before Bruce Lee Nobody combined shit That was like a thing that you would have pride in.

[1190] You know, I have studied Shodokan.

[1191] I will continue to be a Shodokan man to the day I die.

[1192] I am a Wing Chung man. You know, and people would like represent their style, like an old kung fu movie.

[1193] You know, where they thought that there was only one style that was the correct style.

[1194] My master learned from the great masters.

[1195] And he came down from Korea and taught me this style.

[1196] Bruce Lee was like, that's nonsense.

[1197] Bruce Lee was the guy who invented M .MA, really.

[1198] What did you do?

[1199] You fart?

[1200] Covering your own mouth?

[1201] Oh, no, I was blowing my vapor into my shirt.

[1202] You can't even go an hour without getting a fix.

[1203] Are you back on the vape pen too?

[1204] Did you get off the cigarettes?

[1205] No, I still smoke cigarettes sometimes.

[1206] It's bad.

[1207] Oh, Tony H. What happened?

[1208] I'm a bad man. What was the stressful event that caused you to go back to the cigarette?

[1209] Work stuff.

[1210] Work stuff.

[1211] I didn't get something that I was working for a couple months for really, really hard.

[1212] And, I mean, I'm going to get back to...

[1213] Listen, Tony, Tony.

[1214] I got to get off everything.

[1215] In the long run, it did you good.

[1216] Trust me. Yeah.

[1217] you're you're you shouldn't be on shows dude you should just get funny just from your stand up i mean get famous just from your stand up yeah funny just from your stand up get funny just from your stand up get famous just from your stand up the reason why i say this is because no one is ever going to be able to capture what you do best any place other than on stage right you know when you're on stage that's you're you're a hundred percent in control of the content the way it's set up delivered and it's hilarious like you can't do that if you're doing a tv show you're going to do with a bunch of people they're going to have some fucking wacky ideas about what Tony eight should wear and Tony we got just a little bit of makeup just a slight base like okay okay and next thing you know yeah it was it was a little bit bigger than that that the draining thing like it was it was something that like I know you know what it was you worked on it for a long time yeah it was really tough loss if you're going to do a show I really think it should be your own show you're right you're right you're doing your own thing yeah you doing somebody else's thing I think that's for a comic that's one of the hardest things to realize it takes a long time to realize but you're better off doing your own thing than you are like if you get stuck on some show like when i was on fear factor it was a great benefit financially it was really good but you're doing someone else's thing it's not it's like a job it becomes something that you you think about like okay now i'm going to work not complaining it's great job but there's a huge difference between that and like doing a podcast or that and doing doing stand -up especially doing stand -up oh yeah that's the freest one just you you're completely in control of how you do it, completely in control of what you're right, you experiment you come up with your own stuff, and you're not wasting any time doing anybody else's thing.

[1218] Right, and exactly.

[1219] I mean, I wasn't going to slow down on my stand -up or you know, the me thing, but I really wanted that.

[1220] I really wanted something.

[1221] No, I'm sure you did.

[1222] I know you did.

[1223] I mean, that's a good thing that you never stop with your stand -up.

[1224] Some guys do, right?

[1225] They start, they get a job writing and they stop performing.

[1226] That's what's crazy.

[1227] That was one of the things when I got into the writer's room for the first time, I was amazed at how funny a lot of the guys were and that they used to do stand -up and that once they started the writing job, that they stopped, because I hang out with comedians all the time, almost every night.

[1228] So when I was in the room, I know what's funny, and I know who's funny, you know what I mean?

[1229] So it's amazing to me. You know, it was scary.

[1230] Like one guy, you know, one of the funniest people I've ever met, used to do stand -up, and he doesn't.

[1231] But every time this guy opens his mouth, it's about to be an explosion.

[1232] I mean, he has an Emmy for writing, but he's the king of roast writing.

[1233] Like, he's just an insult guru.

[1234] So if you go, hey, what about Bobbidi -Bah, you know, Jimmy Hendrix or whatever, and 10 seconds later, he'll have a gem that you can't not almost fall on the ground at.

[1235] But, yeah, I never did.

[1236] The entire time, my first few years writing, writing gigs, even during the season, And if it got late in the office, eight, nine, ten, hey guys, I got to go do my spot, sorry.

[1237] But I'd also churn it out so much during the day that they couldn't be like, well, you know, I didn't give them an option.

[1238] I would, you know, work hard all day.

[1239] But I never, if I did that, if I missed a spot or something for a writing gig, that would start an entire whole other crazy meltdown and breakdown because I just can't not do stand -up.

[1240] crazy well it's just you're always getting better too like i'll see you i'll see three months later you're better three months later you'll be better than you wore three months ago almost every time and that means you're like constantly like trying to refine and hone and that's when it becomes like a real obsession when you're like folding over your jokes and hammering them down trying to get you got to do a lot of sets to do that and if you have another gig that starts preventing you from doing that it can become a real problem you could you could just go oh you know what i've got this I'm just going to kick back, stop doing stand -up for a while.

[1241] I'm going to just take a few months off and just maybe I'll just, I mean, I'm not happy with my act right now.

[1242] You come up with excuses and reasons.

[1243] Next thing you know, you've got some sort of a job.

[1244] Right.

[1245] You're showing up at an office every day and you're, you mean, you're writing.

[1246] Yeah, it's great, but it's not as fun as stand -up.

[1247] You can't be.

[1248] Exactly.

[1249] But for some dudes, the stress of the performance is not worth, it's like, it's not worth the effort.

[1250] It's like, what's that expression?

[1251] the juice like is it worth the juice to squeeze these berries you know is it worth the effort is it worth it all the stress that you go through to get on stage and crack out a joke i'd rather just write for someone else and have them deal with it yeah that's not stress at all i love churning those berries you know what i'm saying right but that's just you right yeah i mean for some guys it really is better for them to just be a writer it's like this this the performance life is just too fucked up it's too hard for them guess so yeah i think there's a lot of guys like that maybe they just couldn't get the spots didn't meet the right people at the right time or something i don't know maybe they weren't that funny of a performer that is the one thing you know i don't know what those writers who i say are hilarious what their stand -ups like they've been in writer rooms for so long that they know how to be funny like at a table you know what i mean when the topic comes up do you encourage people that you meet that are really funny to try to do stand -up no never never really never never never never they got to want to do it.

[1252] That's one of those things where if you don't want it so bad that you, like, that you're crazy about it, then you're not going to do anything anyway.

[1253] You never planted that seed, though?

[1254] You never said to anybody, you should probably stand up.

[1255] I, you know, my whole podcast is pretty much based on helping people that want to do stand -up get better or grow or give them something or in any way, shape, or form or bring them down a pig if they're crazy.

[1256] but I know I'm not into helping I'm not into telling somebody that they should do something that's as extreme as stand -up like if they have if that thought if they haven't gone to an open mic and tried it then now I can't say you know why I say I do it is because I think there's certain people out there that really are funny and just need to hear like just a voice of encouragement could go a long way there's a lot I met dudes that I used to work for a guy was a private investigator.

[1257] One of the funniest guys that I've ever met my life.

[1258] His name's Dave Dolan.

[1259] The guy easily could have been a stand -up.

[1260] He was a private investigator and he was really good at reading people.

[1261] So he knew what a person's weakness was.

[1262] He would talk to you for a couple seconds and just figure out what your thing was and he would play dumb.

[1263] He'd be like this dumb Boston guy like, hey, you know, you know, it was down here with a friend of mine and we were looking for this guy that hit our car and took off and he would read off a license plate number.

[1264] It was very similar to their license plate number.

[1265] and that was how he got information out of people he would just tell them about an accident they weren't involved in and then he would start talking to them and they would start giving them information about all kinds of shit about working while they're on unemployment oh I'm using my maiden name I have a job I'm like we caught people doing shit like that all the time but the guy was hilarious he would get in the car like after he had done that and we would work together as a team and he would be laughing his dick off and just saying all kinds of fucking crazy shit you know and he was just one of those guys that was just naturally funny And I told them, I was like, look, man, you're funnier than me. And I'm doing stand -up.

[1266] Like, you should really do stand -up.

[1267] And it's like, look, kid, I got to pay the bills.

[1268] Okay, this is what I do.

[1269] I bust assholes.

[1270] Right.

[1271] And he just had this sort of way about him.

[1272] Just knew how to just say the right thing.

[1273] Yeah.

[1274] It's like a craft that some guys have where they know when to say the right thing.

[1275] Like Diaz, perfect example.

[1276] Right.

[1277] You know?

[1278] And when Eddie Bravo fought Hoyle -Legresi, we called Joey Diaz.

[1279] We had him on speakerphone.

[1280] And the first thing he said is, Fogo de Child, the flags are at half -mast He just He just knows when to say the right shit If Joey Diaz, if somebody, I guess he probably decided to do it himself But if nobody had ever talked Joey Diaz And he'd do in stand -up That would have been a national tragedy Yeah You know a lot of what Joey did was in prison Oh yeah He'd make prisoners laugh Yeah Like that's where he got good at it They would have show a movie If the movie sucked They'd go, get up there, Coco, get up there, Coco.

[1281] And Joey would get up on stage and make everybody laugh.

[1282] Isn't that nuts?

[1283] Wow.

[1284] When they tell the Joey Diaz life story, and I think somebody will do it, someone's going to fuck it up.

[1285] Probably Jonah Hill or something like that.

[1286] Joey Diaz.

[1287] Some guy's not even Cuban.

[1288] It'll be Adam Sandler with a fat suit.

[1289] Adam was a big fan and really wants your trust in this project.

[1290] He really thinks that he could do it.

[1291] It'd be like when people were outraged that Tom Cruise was going to play with a that in an interview with the vampire crazy online petition against Tom Cruise playing Lestatiff but he's freaking a fuck out.

[1292] That's what it would be like if Jonah Hill was going to play Joey Diaz Yeah, it'd be like, he's not even Cuban.

[1293] Hey, how are you cock suckers?

[1294] And there would be someone from like some Latino association who would get on TV and say, you know, this is another theft from the Latino community.

[1295] Someone has coming in and a non -latino is playing a Latino on TV.

[1296] In a movie about a Latino star.

[1297] I never, yeah.

[1298] El Cubano, Jouet Diaz.

[1299] It's the best.

[1300] I saw Sebastian the other day at the Ice House, sold out the whole weekend.

[1301] I didn't know so many people knew who Sebastian was.

[1302] Oh, yeah, man. That he was that big, but people were telling me, oh, dude, he's huge.

[1303] Sebastian's doing great.

[1304] He had a Showtime special.

[1305] We talked about a Showtime special on the podcast.

[1306] I watched it in my hotel room.

[1307] It was just flipping through the channels, and I caught it.

[1308] It was really funny.

[1309] He's fucking good.

[1310] he's doing really well.

[1311] He'd always done well in certain spots, like where people got to know him.

[1312] He developed a following in Dallas years back.

[1313] Like, he'd do really well at that Addison Improv.

[1314] That place is ridiculous.

[1315] That's a great spot.

[1316] That Addison Improft.

[1317] Ooh, that's a great spot.

[1318] That's some wild people.

[1319] There's still a lot of smoking doors, I think.

[1320] Wow.

[1321] We'd do, like, a late show, and people would be smoking.

[1322] I would go, like, oh, this is crazy.

[1323] You guys can smoke inside?

[1324] And it wasn't, like, one of those Vegas showrooms.

[1325] Like, you can smoke in Vegas.

[1326] but if you go to any place in Vegas they have those fucking industrial room cleansing machines and just sucking cigarette smoke out you walk through the casino you don't even realize that all those people are smoking right.

[1327] I mean how often do you walk through the community, if it's right on top of you, you smell it and it's kind of gross, but for the most part you're surrounded by people smoking cigarettes you can barely tell.

[1328] They're just sucking out that air and cleaning it up and giving you some fresh ambition air, some blackjack air.

[1329] That's how I got back on the smokes.

[1330] We were in Vegas just to couple weeks ago and you see these people smoking in the casino and this I you know it was just weird I wasn't really planning on smoking but we got there and you just see these people smoking but you don't smell it but it's indoors so it seems clean again like the trickery worked on my brain next thing you know when we met after we checked into our hotel rooms I had a pack of cigarettes for the first time in six months let's find that out how do casinos kill the smell of cigarettes because they must they must do something we stated at the golden nugget and we got it to the smoking room there and the room smelled like the most cigarette that I've ever smoked.

[1331] The golden nuggets, like the staple of Vegas.

[1332] It's just hundreds of years of cigarettes.

[1333] Sinatra's smoking there.

[1334] Well, you know, they say there's third -hand smoke.

[1335] Do you ever hear about third -hand smoke?

[1336] Yeah.

[1337] They think that you go into a place like that that has been cigarette smokes, people have been smoking in there for years and years and years.

[1338] It's actually in the walls itself.

[1339] Like you're actually breathing in carcinogens when you're in that building, especially if anything catches fire or gets wet or has some sort of a chemical reaction to things that are in the room household cleaners and shit like that it seems like something that you would have said like three years ago if you get cancer from third hand smoke you're a fat you're a pussy well I'm not saying that it's anything you should worry about at a casino staying in a room for a night but it's not good for you that's for sure if they find out that's true or if it gives you autism from smoke like third hand smoke because it seems like it would.

[1340] If it's like, if you go to that golden nugget that we were at, that shit was disturbingly cigarettey.

[1341] So that place did have like old school filters?

[1342] Old school.

[1343] I mean, the rooms felt like you were in an ashtray.

[1344] Yeah, there's a thing called, okay, there's a thing called Air Fantastic, and they have a solution for these kind of things.

[1345] They can reduce 99 % of airborne particles, particulates, dust, pollen.

[1346] machines This is kind of interesting So I guess it just sucks all the air out of the room And cleans it while you're in there Huh Yeah That's pretty impressive 99 % of airborne particulates JZ It's like a study from West Texas A &M Huh Particulates and cigarette smoke Are positively charged Which keeps them airborne The ions produced are negatively charged And so the particles particles are neutralized and fall to the ground.

[1347] That's crazy.

[1348] So this shit does something to the very air around you that causes the particles from cigarettes to fall so they don't stay in the air and linger.

[1349] Like that's what's going on.

[1350] What the fuck is that about?

[1351] That's weird, man. Crystal Clear experiment was proven in Austin's Yellow Rose Gentleman's Club in 2003, which installed eight of our 14, inch probes.

[1352] That's hilarious.

[1353] That's their first fucking customer.

[1354] Finally, we got one boys.

[1355] The titty bar is taking us in.

[1356] We're going to revolutionize this game.

[1357] The bar would be packed with many smokers in the air was crystal clear and one could not even see on particle.

[1358] They should say one particle, but says on particle.

[1359] You fucking no spell check motherfuckers.

[1360] Read your own shit.

[1361] How come someone has a website that you don't even read your own shit?

[1362] That makes me wonder if the product is uh they could not see one particle you fucks in the bright spot okay all right well that's just one company that's something but obviously there's something like that so they have uh some way to remove this stuff there's more than one company there's another called air aroma air zone so i guess they do something huh i wonder if that's bad for you though whatever the fuck they're doing to the air it seems like it would be that doesn't see if it gets good right yeah yeah I don't know what the fuck that is.

[1363] They've got to do something.

[1364] If it's to the air.

[1365] How old do you have to be to smoke?

[1366] 18.

[1367] That's it?

[1368] In New York just passed 21, which is super smart.

[1369] Yeah, it should be fucking 21.

[1370] But you're not going to stop them.

[1371] You're not going to stop people.

[1372] I think if you want to figure out a way to keep people from smoking cigarettes, you're going to have to find some sort of a pill that allows them to quit really easily.

[1373] Yep.

[1374] It just kills the addiction, no withdrawal symptoms.

[1375] Because otherwise, the majority of people love pleasure.

[1376] and they hate discomfort so much that the idea being without a cigarette and having a pang and a craving is too much and they just cave in yeah it's amazing that nabisco's down with that yeah the people that sell us those fine cookies and crackers mm -hmm they also sell cigarettes I mean how great do you have to be folks how much money you make it from your crackers so much money no no no cookie money yeah why do you have to sell cigarettes it's all that stuff you know those little sticks with a little cheese What are those handy snacks?

[1377] Oh, God.

[1378] Oh, yeah.

[1379] Those little white sticks with the cheese, same people.

[1380] How weird.

[1381] Craft is a Nabisco company.

[1382] So all that cheese.

[1383] Oreos?

[1384] Oreos a big one.

[1385] How weird is it that in this day and age, with all the information that we have now, we don't hold someone accountable for something like that?

[1386] We don't say, why are you selling that?

[1387] I mean, well, people have the right to choose what they want to do, and a lot of Americans enjoy a thing.

[1388] cigarette.

[1389] It's amazing.

[1390] The scariest to me, honestly, is really McDonald's.

[1391] Because why?

[1392] Because everybody's so taught that it's McDonald's, it's America, this is good.

[1393] You can, you can have this.

[1394] This is fine.

[1395] It's just Coca -Cola, fries, whatever this burger is made out of.

[1396] Yeah, but that doesn't make you, well, I guess it does give you a certain amount of addiction, right?

[1397] Oh yeah.

[1398] It teaches you to eat whatever.

[1399] Preservatives are fine.

[1400] It teaches you that eat garbage if it tastes good that's all that matters i'm loving it yeah yeah but is it is it doing that or is it just giving you that as an option too like why is that any different than a donut shop i like donuts i don't eat them all the time but i like the fact that there's a donut shop where if i pull into duncan donuts and i say oh i have a cup of coffee and a boston cream donut please and i get excited and i'll have about 15 20 seconds of mouth pleasure and then a few hours of regret yeah but i like that that's available isn't that macdonald and i think a donut's a special treat I think you go to a, you get a donut that's like, I'm going to pick out my donut.

[1401] This was baked today.

[1402] McDonald's is like, that's really the commercials, you know, the commercials between everything.

[1403] It's sort of like, hey, they're the number one toy producer in the country.

[1404] McDonald's.

[1405] All those happy meals.

[1406] Because we're teaching kids, hey, eat this.

[1407] It doesn't matter what this burger is actually made out of.

[1408] You know San Francisco outlawed toys and happy meals?

[1409] That's smart.

[1410] Is it?

[1411] Yeah, I'm telling you, man. You can't just eat whatever you want.

[1412] I mean, you can, but you can sometimes.

[1413] It's going to make you depressed.

[1414] It's going to make you angry.

[1415] You're going to wonder why you feel crappy.

[1416] I mean, at least that's how it was with me. That's why I had to get off that stuff.

[1417] McDonald's?

[1418] Yeah, I had it last night.

[1419] A quarter pounder.

[1420] It was delicious.

[1421] Like, yeah, we know it tastes good.

[1422] That's part of the problem.

[1423] The fries, yeah, but nowadays, they're getting sued by so many people that, like, you know, the oils they cook it in now are a lot healthier than they used to be.

[1424] And the quarter pounder.

[1425] That you hear what you just said.

[1426] The kerosene that they cook their burgers, any food you make is going to have oils later, yeah.

[1427] Yeah, I mean, because a lot of people, when they steam their celery, they're always worried about that goddamn oil that comes with it.

[1428] Welcome to Greenlee.

[1429] When I eat my salad, I know there's going to be oil.

[1430] I just accept it.

[1431] I mean, anything that needs oil, like fries or something like that.

[1432] Well, if you cook fries, you can cook them in duck fat.

[1433] Remember that one place in Vegas?

[1434] We go to Kraftsteak.

[1435] God damn, son.

[1436] They bring over these duck fat fries.

[1437] Good, googly, mugly, are they good?

[1438] They bring them over with three different types of dipping sauce.

[1439] But it's the duck fat.

[1440] That's what does it.

[1441] Those fries, those McDonald's fries, that shit's whack.

[1442] It's so delicious, though.

[1443] They have the best fries.

[1444] McDonald's?

[1445] Yeah.

[1446] You're crazy.

[1447] In and out, burries McDonald's.

[1448] Oh, in and now, it's like cardboard.

[1449] No, no, it's like a real potato, you fuck.

[1450] Those are.

[1451] They actually taste like.

[1452] like a potato in and out is fucking fantastic oh that's good I don't think they beat McDonald's fries you know what's better than both of them better than both of them five guys fries buries them in the fucking ground how dare you nod your head side to side Jamie you son of a bitch you son of a bitch trust me five guys fries fucks everybody up plus they have a Cajun version you can get Cajun fries oh what did I say yes they give it to you in a fucking like one of those movie those movie barrels where they give you popcorn.

[1453] That's what they give you your fries.

[1454] You're never going to eat all your fries at five guys.

[1455] Good fucking luck.

[1456] Cajun seasoning is the, uh, the best.

[1457] I mean, that just makes anything better.

[1458] All fries are, all fries are good fries with Cajun.

[1459] But five guys does have great fries.

[1460] I usually don't fuck with Cajun spices on steak.

[1461] I usually like steak, you know, like pepper and like salt and that's it.

[1462] But I had a Cajun rib eye at a place we went to the other day.

[1463] Ooh, laudy!

[1464] Oh, it was perfect.

[1465] Not too overpowering.

[1466] Just a right amount of spice oh yummy you posted the other day that looks amazing of what that delicious steak you were eating or meat oh which one was it oh the bear yeah yeah that was not the one I shot that was one that was someone in camp shot it was the first time I ever well I had bear sausage before that I liked but I'd never had like a bear steak like right off the bear what's it taste delicious very gamey is it is it it tastes like a pig fucked a deer and you how to cook it well done that sounds good yeah it's a well the problem with bear is the same problem with uh pork and it's that they eat animals and when they eat animals you have to worry about them having trichinosis because trichinosis comes from eating an animal that has trichinosis so like uh they say 90 % of all the cases of trichinosis according to my friend steerunella 90 % occur in the united states from people eating bears whoa yeah that's the 90 % of our uh cases of trichinosis.

[1467] Think about how few people in the United States eat bears, but that's 90 % of trichinosis cases.

[1468] It's because bears are, they're predators.

[1469] I mean, they eat everything.

[1470] They eat berries, but they also eat animals.

[1471] They're responsible for, like, half of the moose population when you are in Alberta, where I was at, half the babies get eaten by bears.

[1472] Weren't you scared eating that?

[1473] You're like turning trick?

[1474] I mean, getting the trick to a bear?

[1475] Turning to a bear?

[1476] Turning tricks.

[1477] No, you just, you have to cook it to 150 degrees.

[1478] What's, see, what's, I think bear meat would probably be super delicious if you were able to cook it medium rare.

[1479] I would like to try it that way because it's good in comparison to like, like, beef or something like that.

[1480] It has a more robust flavor.

[1481] Like, and if you, if you cook it like thin and you have to kind of cook it well done, it is very good.

[1482] But it's not as good as deer.

[1483] or elk because deer or elk you eat like a medium rare almost a rare and it's delicious like you sear like a deer loin you would take a slice of it you'd put like some pepper and maybe some garlic salt on it and you would sear it on one side and sear it on the other side and it's fantastic you know you don't really have to cook it that much because they don't have the same type of parasites that pigs do so when you have pig you always have to like that smoked pig was amazing that ham that i made but you have to cook that for a long time it's got to be cooked all the way through in your It really breaks it down and it becomes delicious, but it has to hit 150 degrees.

[1484] If it doesn't hit 150 degrees, the trichinosis.

[1485] If it has it, and it may not, but if it does have it, you could get it.

[1486] So in that sense, pigs and bear are very similar.

[1487] I like them a lot, but I prefer deer and elk and animals that you could eat medium rare.

[1488] Have you ever done the duck shooting?

[1489] No. It seems like you would love that, because that seems like Target practice, like quake.

[1490] Like you're just like, choo -choo -ch -o -too.

[1491] Yeah.

[1492] The only problem that I have with that, and it's just a small moral problem, is that a lot of those ducks, you're just sort of clipping them.

[1493] Like, you're tagging their wings with, like, pebbles.

[1494] You know, like, you're shooting shotgun pellets.

[1495] And if you ever watch those things, a lot of those ducks are, like, still flying after they get hit, and then they stumble, and they lose a lot of ducks that way.

[1496] Like, ducks just fly off.

[1497] Because it seems kind of not specific.

[1498] Like, you're shooting at them, boom, boom, but they spread out.

[1499] The pellets spread out.

[1500] out and in a lot of ways and this is not a criticism of duck hunting I would totally do it but it just there's one thing that fucks with me and that's that I think that a lot of them you're like barely gonna hit you're gonna hit like a wing or a foot blow a foot off and then they're still gonna fly away you know you're gonna shoot a lot of them and drop them out of the sky but if I you know if you could shoot one duck at a time with a rifle you could tune in on that duck you got a crosshair on it boom the duck's gone but when you're pumping lead into the air you ever watch those duck shows like sometimes they get them dead on but sometimes they'll like catch them they're spiral and they're you know they're they're fine they just fucked up you know which happens with hunting too um it happens especially with uh archery hunting archery hunting is super dangerous and it's dangerous obviously for the animal it's super dangerous but it's dangerous that you could there's a danger a great danger should say that you can wound an animal and not fatally wound it so you have to fucking practice like crazy it's really difficult to to shoot straight.

[1501] Like you think like a bow and arrow, today's bows and arrows are way easier than the bows and arrows of, you know, cowboy and Indian days or the Mongol days.

[1502] They're way better.

[1503] I mean, they have super high technology.

[1504] They have the sights on them.

[1505] The arrows fly straighter.

[1506] They're like aluminum -jacketed arrows.

[1507] The compound bows allow you to pull like a heavy weight and there's a let -off, like an 80 -pound bow is like 80 pounds in the beginning, but then back here, it's only probably like 20 % of that.

[1508] So like when you, when you have it at full draw you can hold on to it at full draw but it's hard to stay steady it's hard to keep that pin lined up on the animal and you got to you you're especially a bear when they're coming out of hibernation their lungs are only that big they're they're small they're like like a small volleyball size you know like one of those kids volleyball it's not like a big lung like a deer has a big lung and elk has a big lung because they're in the high mountains they're running around a lot of time they've a lot of but when these bears are coming out of hibernation it's a very small area that you have to hit so it's not easy man it takes a long fucking time to get to a point where you you're you trust in your aim enough that you're willing to take a shot at an animal with a bow and arrow serious shit um yeah i did that yeah i don't know anything about that stuff i get when you said cowboys and indians and bears i just keep thinking how blown my mind is that the village people wrote the original I'm a jiggle of.

[1509] Can you imagine how many fan -Helan fans would get into an argument not believing that the village people did that first?

[1510] And what sounded like a little bit of a catchier version, if you ask me, like I sort of like that.

[1511] Pretty good version.

[1512] Poppy beat.

[1513] And to bring it around full circle, those guys were kind of bears.

[1514] Yeah, exactly.

[1515] The barest one was the fucking motorcycle car or the biker guy.

[1516] They shot their arrows into each other.

[1517] There's a lot of references.

[1518] Because, uh, yeah.

[1519] Somebody said online that just a jiggle, actually was written by somebody even before that.

[1520] I can't find it now.

[1521] I was like, I don't care.

[1522] I believe that.

[1523] Yeah.

[1524] That makes sense.

[1525] A lot of those songs are like old.

[1526] You know, it's, it sucks when, um, you find out that your favorite version of a song is like a remake, you know?

[1527] Yeah.

[1528] Or that they ripped it off from somebody like, Bill Burr called me up once.

[1529] And he's like, you're not even going to fucking believe this.

[1530] Go look up.

[1531] Led Zeppelin rips off He goes, just go look that up And listen to it And there was like a compilation Where they made a YouTube compilation Of Led Zeppelin songs In comparison to the songs they ripped off Yeah, they're getting sued right now From that one guy And that sounded exactly like it.

[1532] It's devastating.

[1533] Yeah, that's right.

[1534] It's devastating.

[1535] I mean, I fucking love Zeppelin, dude.

[1536] I mean, and I can't take away It doesn't take away from my love of those creations, those songs.

[1537] Because the songs are still fucking incredible, but obviously any song in a band is a collaboration.

[1538] And it appears to me that this was like an unwilling collaboration.

[1539] That's how I would put it.

[1540] It was someone else's art that they appropriated and made a part of their art and they created something amazing.

[1541] And that is essentially what plagiarism is.

[1542] If those guys had been a part of the team and they worked together, you know, and this guy like, you know, you need cool then, baby, I'm not fooling.

[1543] I'm going to send you back to schooling.

[1544] You know, and the guy writes out all that down.

[1545] You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I like it.

[1546] I like it, let's go with it.

[1547] That would be fine.

[1548] But if you hear that somewhere else and then you just stick that in your song, it does make your song awesome, no doubt.

[1549] A whole lot of love.

[1550] It's one of my favorite songs of all time.

[1551] But that shit is almost directly ripped off from some old blue song.

[1552] I mean, like a lot of the lines are directly ripped off from an old blue song.

[1553] It's hard to listen to, man. Yeah, if you just type in Led Zeppelin like plagiarism TMZ there's like one from 2010 there's one from 2014 there's one like there's just like a whole bunch of different songs and lawsuits that have almost all their songs are rip -offs that's so crazy I wonder if that's going to cost them all their money that would be fucking weird if all of a sudden Led Zepp and went broke like all those guys were broke as fuck Robert Palmer starts going on the road he's doing cover songs because he owes all this money yeah do you want to hear one of the rip -offs that they did yeah this is according to the lawsuit for did dazed and confused, you know, dazed and confused for soon -down.

[1554] Oh, I love that goddamn song.

[1555] Oh, yeah.

[1556] One of their big ones.

[1557] Here is the, I guess, the rip -off version.

[1558] Whoa.

[1559] Wait, that's the real version.

[1560] It's okay, play them both.

[1561] Play them together.

[1562] Oof.

[1563] As it stays it go.

[1564] Bobby and shoes, well, I'd just like to know.

[1565] Give me a clue as to where I have had.

[1566] What's the name of that band?

[1567] Um.

[1568] Because Led Zeppelin, knows them a hundred million dollars jake homes this is not bad though played that a little bit more that's the only part he showed okay okay and here you know of course the other one is here all right god damn rob that's a bad motherfucker yeah so crazy love a woman was created below they're better i'm sorry i'm gonna do the the mexican woman in the crowd he but he did it better no you're just jealous because he did it better Yeah, I mean, for sure, at the very least, they were influenced.

[1569] But goddamn, their lyrics were better.

[1570] The delivery was off the charts.

[1571] That's a fancy studio, though.

[1572] I'd like to see that Jake guy in the same studio with the studio band.

[1573] Robert Plant was a motherfucker, son.

[1574] Yeah.

[1575] That is undeniable.

[1576] It was not just the studio.

[1577] It was the fucking output.

[1578] Just that guy's voice, the output.

[1579] Who the fucking hit those notes?

[1580] Who can even sing like that?

[1581] You know?

[1582] Who the fuck sings like that, man?

[1583] Play that shit again.

[1584] Play the Robert Plant version again.

[1585] Just play that part.

[1586] I'm way past that now.

[1587] You can do it, fellow.

[1588] You can do it.

[1589] I know you know how to use the internet.

[1590] I'm trying to find the new, the stairway to heaven one because it was way better.

[1591] Okay, but I just want to hear that real quick.

[1592] It's going to be a bit.

[1593] Producer boy.

[1594] Soul of a woman was created below.

[1595] That was a crazy time.

[1596] Talk to Joey Diaz about Led Zeppelin.

[1597] If Led Zeppin was smart They would hire Joey Diaz to narrate their life story To just do a documentary where Joey Diaz just explains Led Zeppelin Let me tell you something brother Fucking dirty white guys from England Slingin dick on stage with fucking tights on Tights on Joe Rogan This giant cock It's inches away from women's faces And they're fucking losing their minds They ain't never seen nothing like this before He talks to you about like the invasion like when Led Zeppelin first hit America.

[1598] I'm doing it no justice.

[1599] You have to hear him describe it.

[1600] Like with that song, the sound was like.

[1601] Like, nobody had a sound like that before.

[1602] This was this total new next level shit.

[1603] They just opened up the door to a lot of people's, changed a lot of people's idea what songs sounded like.

[1604] Stairway to heaven and hold out of love.

[1605] I'm one of those guys.

[1606] I love Led Zeppelin, but I'm one of those guys that puts Pink Floyd ahead of them any day of the week.

[1607] That's interesting.

[1608] I could put up a strong case for, I don't think you could.

[1609] Oh, yeah.

[1610] Because it's better for you.

[1611] But for me, Zappin's better than Pink Floyd.

[1612] But Pink Floyd's a fucking, fucking amazing.

[1613] What is this?

[1614] This is it again?

[1615] This is the whole version.

[1616] This is the guy.

[1617] Look at the guy.

[1618] Above ground sound of Jack Holmes.

[1619] Is Jack Holmes dead?

[1620] Because that'll be super ironic.

[1621] I don't know.

[1622] Jake Holmes.

[1623] I mean, that's definitely the baseline.

[1624] No doubt.

[1625] Six days ago.

[1626] Is he sitting on his balls in this picture?

[1627] That's pretty goddamn good dude.

[1628] It's me a clue as to where I am at.

[1629] You're like a mouse and you act like a cat.

[1630] That's pretty goddamn good, dude.

[1631] I mean, it's different, but it's pretty damn good.

[1632] Yeah.

[1633] I'm being abused, I did better off, did I can't stand his keys and I'm starting to crack.

[1634] Let's see how he breaks it down.

[1635] You're out to get me your heart.

[1636] On the right track Oh, he doesn't Wow Comes early That's pretty goddamn good dude Yeah Especially because that's the original So you gotta think like It's much easier To listen to someone And then add a bunch of shit To something they've Sort of the foundation Then they come up with the original idea Totally You know But that's the joke thief way That's what joke thieves do They take your premise And then they change it enough So they can get away with it Because they made it better Yeah They just add more to the back end So let's hear the Robert Plant part Okay, hold on a second Yeah, I mean, that's almost like exactly Except for that Well, those are the In Jake's version, those are chords Unless he's scaling a guitar Come on, It's not true Come on It's beautiful I want to fuck him and I'm a guy But I'm telling you, these guys have These guys have Such better access Yes.

[1637] You would be in love.

[1638] If you were in the audience and you saw this, you'd be in love.

[1639] You'd be so enthralled, especially 1971 or whatever fuck it was.

[1640] It's beautiful.

[1641] But it's a rip off for sure.

[1642] Yeah, definitely.

[1643] So now rip fucking off.

[1644] Here is, though, this one I thought was kind of messed up because this guy even toured, I guess, with Zeppelin.

[1645] Oh, that's the true Mensia.

[1646] That's the R .E. Shafir opening.

[1647] That's called the Freddie Soto.

[1648] This is a group called Taurus, and the song, Spirit, and it's the one that they're saying is from stairway to heaven.

[1649] So here is Spirit First.

[1650] Look how weird they look.

[1651] Yeah, see, these are the people that don't make it, the ones that look a little weird.

[1652] They wanted a pretty boy.

[1653] Yeah, that guy looks like in Rigo Montoya.

[1654] You kill my parents.

[1655] You kill my father.

[1656] Prepare to die.

[1657] And they go.

[1658] Dude, don't hate on the man's art. I sort of like it.

[1659] It's scary.

[1660] He's got a funky mustache on one side, and the other dude is bald -headed.

[1661] You couldn't be bald -headed in 1971 or whatever the fuck this was.

[1662] Oh, God.

[1663] Oh, Led Zeppelin.

[1664] Oh, my God.

[1665] Oh, my God.

[1666] And she's buying a stairway.

[1667] to heaven please don't steal our song oh my god where's this song though this is all music right now I think I'm pretty sure that this song doesn't wait does it not have lyrics I think this was a non - that's here really well they they got weird but it's their creation but they took it to a weird place that is the spirit of the song Yeah, right there.

[1668] Totally.

[1669] Absolutely.

[1670] That's the song.

[1671] Yeah, I mean, that's where it's easy.

[1672] When you hear something like this and you just sort of create, and she's buying the stairway.

[1673] See, because, like, you feel how it bugs you, or how it hits you, rather.

[1674] And then you add your creativity to it.

[1675] Right.

[1676] The writing, the, I mean.

[1677] That's it.

[1678] And the lyrics isn't the hardest part of a song.

[1679] The hardest part of a song is that part.

[1680] that backbone, that spinal cord of what's original, what's different.

[1681] I would have assumed that you're right, but I don't know jack's shit about music.

[1682] How much do you know about music?

[1683] Pretty good amount.

[1684] Can you play things?

[1685] I can play a lot of things.

[1686] Wow.

[1687] Can you do piano?

[1688] I have what they call perfect pitch.

[1689] You know what that is?

[1690] You're a girl?

[1691] No. No, perfect pitch is like one or two percent of, and they don't know why, it's not like genetic or anything, but one or two percent of people can hear music like exactly so that if I play something or if I'm in front of an instrument, I can remember where that sound is and know that it's a hard thing to explain, but I can hear the exact tone of each.

[1692] How do you know?

[1693] You find out when if you take like piano lessons or like people that play by ear often have perfect pitch.

[1694] If you've ever heard that term, like there's people that can read music can play and then there's people that can really like like the Beethoven's play so perfect pitch is a perception thing it's not like a singing thing it's not like a singing thing it's not a sound that you make it's a perception let's say that it's singing for example like I know if I hit the note exactly or so it makes it a lot easier to hit the note if you know that huh yeah I thought it was an ability thing like the hitting notes I didn't know it was a being able to perceive it I thought it's just a sound you can't make a sound that you can still you can learn it yeah you not perfect pitch but you can learn how to make a sound can you totally do i mean do you have limitations on like i don't think i could ever be a good singer i know i really don't think i have any singing talent like oh you'd be surprised like vicky lewis who is on news radio has an insane voice like insane like opera level voice like she can and i would i would like joke around try to sing she would get offended right it was like it was disgusting to her because my clunky voice I just, I don't, I can't just hit songs, but I've met people that they don't even sing for a living, but they can sound, they sound beautiful when they're singing.

[1695] right well it all depends like everybody should just try to sing like themselves i just learned about this stuff recently the singing part of things for that one thing that i didn't get right anyway um but like you have to sing in your singing voice you know how all the singers sound different you know clapton and tom petty hey how's everybody doing that they like he doesn't try to sing like la la la la la la la la la la he just goes with it and she's an american girl you know what i mean right right right uh that's a good example Right, so if you sing like how you sound Instead of trying to sing like What we think a good singer sounds like Then you can kill it Because everybody sounds different Phil Collins sounds different Than Roger Waters He's different than David Gilmore, Robert Plant Yeah I knew this dude who was in a band And he was super cocky dude And then I finally listened to his music He's cocky bordering douchey And I listened to his music And the guy sounded exactly like Chris Cornell And when I say exactly I mean fucking exactly I thought it was like some lost sound garden song from the early days I was listening to the exact same It was like me doing a Joey Diaz impression Yeah Like if I just started talking like Joey Diaz or on stage Like if I went on stage and just pretended this is me now And now what's up cock suckers?

[1696] Where you at bitch?

[1697] Come on You would go oh my god He's doing a Joey Diaz impression That's how much this guy sounded like Chris Cornell Oh yeah We got your voodoo panani Don't.

[1698] Don't play the way.

[1699] How dare you?

[1700] Different voices are fun.

[1701] That's why I like the crash test dummies.

[1702] You ever heard of them?

[1703] The guy talks like this and everything.

[1704] When the song comes in, it's like a totally different.

[1705] You can't fuck with chicks, though.

[1706] Chicks have the best sounding voices, in my opinion.

[1707] I mean, I like Robert Plant.

[1708] He's got a badass voice, but Janice Joplin, if I had to choose, she'd listen to Janice Joplin sing a song or Robert Plant.

[1709] Oh, yeah.

[1710] That chick that sings Goldfinger?

[1711] Dude, pull up, take another little piece of my heart.

[1712] Why are you laughing?

[1713] You don't know that Janice Chopin's song?

[1714] Take a little piece of my heart now, babe.

[1715] Take it!

[1716] She was a fucking genius.

[1717] Or me and Bobby McGee, that's another one.

[1718] I like roller skates.

[1719] She was a goddamn genius.

[1720] Yeah, roller skates is great.

[1721] When I've got a brand new pair of roller skates.

[1722] Yeah, that's right.

[1723] Or the Beamer song.

[1724] Or is a Mercedes -Benz?

[1725] Oh, Lord Listen to this When I see shit like this When I listen to this I see in my head Like a documentary On the 60s That's what I see Like a politician talking about These were innocent times Right This summer We're embracing This new wave Of being That was sweeping the nation And we were a part of it We were at ground zero Yeah It was Berkeley It was 1969 and it was all going on It was the freedom of summer Crank her up Crank her up Listen to this God damn You know one of the things It was so badass about her When she would sing The pain in her voice Like the emotions in her voice That shit had experienced a lot of shit She's one of those ones that would get into it too She put her whole body into it close her eyes Really get lost in it And she was ugly Yeah, she was ugly, and she hooked up with a lot of rock stars.

[1726] Good for her.

[1727] Big time.

[1728] Everybody wanted, even though she was ugly, every guy wanted a bang her because they're like that fucking voice.

[1729] She's got no tits, no ass in the face of a guitar.

[1730] A male Charlie Brown or a female Charlie Brown.

[1731] She was awesome.

[1732] That is scary.

[1733] Oh, my God.

[1734] Is that her?

[1735] Is that the exorcist?

[1736] She looks like, get a good picture of her.

[1737] Find a good picture of her.

[1738] And I say ugly, like, she's better looking than neat.

[1739] I don't know about that.

[1740] I don't know.

[1741] She's pretty scary.

[1742] Probably like your ass instead of hers.

[1743] I think you'd probably look my ass, period, just for a story.

[1744] Just to be able to go on and kill Tony, talk about it.

[1745] She was okay for a hippie chair.

[1746] Put up a good one.

[1747] Oh, my gosh.

[1748] She's a cutie.

[1749] She's a cutie.

[1750] If you were on acid, you'd see her soul.

[1751] You'd love her soul.

[1752] Her soul is beautiful.

[1753] It's complex, like an old wine.

[1754] She's got that face fuzz, I bet.

[1755] How dare you.

[1756] Oh, yeah.

[1757] Her teeth were a little crooked.

[1758] Other than that, just a fine -looking gal.

[1759] Everything's crooked.

[1760] Look at that thing.

[1761] She's rude.

[1762] She's got dimples on one side of her face.

[1763] If I had to choose one woman to listen to sing, she's up there.

[1764] Amy Winehouse.

[1765] She's up there, too.

[1766] Suzanne Santo from Honey Honey is right at the top of the goddamn list.

[1767] She's got some new songs.

[1768] I wish we could play them, but she didn't give me permission.

[1769] I play some of her new shit.

[1770] God damn, dude.

[1771] Black women, man. I wonder if she'd let us.

[1772] I think she'd let us play.

[1773] Are we allowed to?

[1774] Black women have this thing Where they have the most powerful vocal cords That lady that sings Goldfinger from Bond Did you ever see that live performance Like the Oscars or Emmys a couple years ago She got a standing O afterwards Who is she?

[1775] Super, I can't believe I can't think of her name She's the She's like the most respected Grace Jones Something like that Is that her?

[1776] If you look up Goldfinger Grace Jones.

[1777] Grace Jones was that black chick with a crazy haircut.

[1778] Yeah, like that Max Hedgeron, black Max Hedgeron.

[1779] Grace Jones was, she used to date Dolph Lundgren.

[1780] Shirley Basie.

[1781] Yeah.

[1782] That Shirley Bassett, right?

[1783] She's a cold -blooded killer.

[1784] Really?

[1785] This is one where she goes, and when she does that, she's standing, and when she can clench her arms and it makes the sound come from Gold Finger.

[1786] and she can go low and then go low to high her range which is a thing some people can do high some people can do low she's one of those monsters a lot of those guys clapped in pink floyd they'd only work with blackner or something yeah that's what it was yeah everything sounds better with a half boner yeah pull up honey honey uh angel of death when they were live on the roof this uh video that they did i wanted to play one of their new songs but i can't get permission So until I hear from her, I sent her a text.

[1787] If she texts me back during the show, we'll try to play it.

[1788] Why, we'll play the video we're in?

[1789] Yeah, that's Angel of Death.

[1790] But don't play that one.

[1791] Play the live one on the roof.

[1792] Because the live one on the roof is acoustic, so you really get a chance to hear her voice.

[1793] This isn't it, Brian.

[1794] Is it?

[1795] Yeah.

[1796] Okay.

[1797] That's Tony chirping.

[1798] That's me. Yeah, this is how I found out about these guys.

[1799] They're moving back to L .A. They gave up on Nashville.

[1800] God.

[1801] They heard a few too many end bombs And they were like, oh, we're still in Tennessee This is called Angel of Death Until I find you Isn't this an old village people's song You won't become the same Never spend a single day apart That bitch's got talent Yeah, they're moving back here So we'll skip to see them for sure he'll be back yeah she's the best and she they have a new tour out and uh yeah if you go to honey honeyhoney band dot com they uh they have their their schedule up it's they're they're fucking awesome and ben is the coolest guy he's so nice he's such an interesting funny dude too he's a cool guy to be around it's interesting knowing people that can do shit that you don't have any interest in pursuing you get to just watch it like as an observer that's how i feel about about music.

[1802] You know, music is not something that I ever wanted to pursue, so when I watch people do it and do it really good, I find it super inspiring.

[1803] I never would have gotten into it at all.

[1804] However, I lived in such a bad neighborhood.

[1805] I grew up in such a, the worst corner of one of the most dangerous cities in the country.

[1806] For years, it's been dangerous.

[1807] But when I was growing up, it was the most dangerous.

[1808] Just houses getting arsoned everywhere.

[1809] It makes Detroit look like, you know.

[1810] What place?

[1811] Youngstown, Ohio.

[1812] Yeah, that's a bad spot.

[1813] Very dangerous.

[1814] The mafia versus the black gangs and the black gangs versus everybody.

[1815] Notoriously, one of the worst cities to live in year after year.

[1816] But anyway, we had bars in all of our windows.

[1817] It's just a thing that every house had during that time, late 80s, early 90s, because people would just, if they saw you leave your house, they'd break in your house and steal whatever.

[1818] But the only area that didn't have bars in the windows was our dining room window area.

[1819] But since there weren't bars in the windows, windows, we, my mom had an old, upright piano that leaned up against those windows.

[1820] So light wouldn't even come through the windows.

[1821] The only thing that would block those windows was an upright piano.

[1822] So there was always an upright piano in the dining room when I was being raised.

[1823] So I'd play it and just goof around on it as a kid.

[1824] But sure enough, just to show you how bad of a neighborhood I lived in one time, because there weren't bars on the windows, a guy with like an axe started breaking through that window and broke all the way through a piano, an upright piano.

[1825] If you know anything about the guts of a piano, I mean, first of all the outside's made of crazy old wood and this and that, and it's all wood on the inside, but there's all these metal strings and everything, and they broke all the way through the piano.

[1826] That's Youngstown for you.

[1827] Just a guy that started, he's like, God, I've got to be close now, broke through the middle of an upright piano.

[1828] And what happened?

[1829] Do you get inside your house?

[1830] I remember, they got inside my house.

[1831] They stole my Nintendo and the VCR, which now would be, I mean, the oldest Nintendo, the regular Nintendo and a VCR probably today's like $20 worth of stuff after breaking um remember pretty specifically I know I was close to probably about third fourth or fifth grade right in there I know that because my first grade play Christmas play was in the VCR it was so funny and we used to watch I used to I mean everybody in the family used to watch it because it was so stupid I was I was a star and I had a giant head and I was so unacceptable like they didn't want to give me a good role so they They just put a star around my neck with a string.

[1832] So we'd always watch it because it'd be funny, and that was in the VCR when they stole it.

[1833] And there was no way to get that back, you know.

[1834] So that's why it really stuck out.

[1835] Yeah, really.

[1836] That's got to be a weird feeling, too, to feel that vulnerable, like someone could break in your house.

[1837] Every night.

[1838] I was scared every single night.

[1839] Every single night I went to bed of freight.

[1840] We caught somebody breaking into my house when I was, I guess it was like, they weren't, no, I should, I should correct it.

[1841] It wasn't, they weren't breaking in my house.

[1842] They were breaking in our car, which is right, right by the window.

[1843] and I'm sure somebody probably would have broken in our house, but we were home.

[1844] They probably knew we were home.

[1845] I lived in a Jamaica plane, which was not nearly as bad as Youngstown, but it was sketchy, especially now that now it's all gentrified, but back then it was pretty fucked up.

[1846] We caught this dude.

[1847] It was right outside my window.

[1848] He's breaking into a car.

[1849] I remember seeing him run.

[1850] My stepfather opened up the window and yelled something or something.

[1851] I forget, there was some sort of an altercation.

[1852] Like, hey, get the fuck out of there.

[1853] And then I remember, like, looking down, because I had a, my window, my bedroom window was above the car looking down seeing this guy run off i was like this is fucking scary yeah really it's really gross when you realize that somebody could mess with your stuff well it's that weird feeling too like you know you hear noises and then you think this might really be someone breaking in this time b &Es that's what they would call them a kids in the neighborhood would do it all the time oh you know he's been to juvie for a b &E it was like normal breaking and entering yeah normal brian's thinking about bacon and eggs over there b &E very few months murders just a lot of crime but it was it was possible to get murdered you know when you have a bunch of fucking creepy people that have been in jail a bunch of times and they're around a bunch of other creepy people and a lot of poverty and a lot of drugs fucking shit happens man it all became it all becomes acceptable and then the little brothers and the younger people see their older brothers doing it and they think it's cool and that that's a part of life and then you know it's crazy it's also a way guys make money you know let's be honest break into someone's house you steal their TV and now you have a thousand bucks like holy shit yeah it's fucked the that doesn't happen too much in rich neighborhoods rich neighborhoods dudes very rarely break into each other's houses super rare yeah it's something that only happens if one person's got something the other person wants it what you can get your own shit shit doesn't mean as much that becomes a different thing become something how you judge each other that's where it's stupid but a lot fucking better than living in poverty yeah yeah it was crazy youngstown a lot of boxers come out of there a lot of them Boom, Boom, Mancini.

[1854] Kelly, the Ghost Pavlick.

[1855] Yeah, Kelly Padilla.

[1856] Harry Arroyo.

[1857] Harry Arroyo.

[1858] Wow.

[1859] Kelly Pavlick had my favorite fight that I've ever seen in all of boxing.

[1860] The Germain Taylor fight?

[1861] Yeah.

[1862] Got knocked down twice.

[1863] They both, neither one of them had ever been knocked down in their entire professional career, not once.

[1864] And they both went down twice.

[1865] It was a great fight.

[1866] Pavlik was a beast.

[1867] Like the booze, though.

[1868] is just the pressure.

[1869] You know, the pressure of being a professional fighter has got to be so staggering.

[1870] And in Youngstown, that's what you're taught is, is drank the pain away.

[1871] So, every time he would go back home, he was the king of Youngstown.

[1872] And when you do that, you're just hanging out at bars with your friends anyway, and every single person that walks in, hey, let me buy you a drink.

[1873] It's months until your next fight.

[1874] You know, they don't realize he's a professional athlete and he needs to maintain.

[1875] Come on, Kelly.

[1876] What are you too good for us now?

[1877] That's exactly how everybody talks.

[1878] too good for a jack come on kelly let me buy you a drink jack on the rocks white castle a little big whiskey in a beer and ain't gonna hurt you you know i didn't know that white castle had tiny food the first time i went there and then so i got it to go i got it to go i remember specifically i was at my brother's apartment in columbus visiting him in college went to the white castle he was at work across the street got a burger and fries to go went back and i was so disappointed because i was starving went back and got three or four Four more burgers.

[1879] Those were the days.

[1880] Yeah, I had to get away with that.

[1881] Just making a little tiny burger.

[1882] Super cheap.

[1883] A one -byte burger.

[1884] It used to be a nickel or something like that back in the day.

[1885] And that was the whole thing.

[1886] Like, get a nickel burger.

[1887] You know, but it was a smart burger.

[1888] But yeah, but how many of those equal, like a 20...

[1889] Was a regular burger a quarter back then?

[1890] How much was a regular burger?

[1891] Yeah, probably.

[1892] It was probably some kind of marketing thing.

[1893] Like, no, we got really cheap burgers.

[1894] Get your nickel burger here.

[1895] Yeah, news.

[1896] Breaking news.

[1897] Joe, did you see that thing I posted the other day?

[1898] Did you know the USPS?

[1899] The post office used to deliver kids.

[1900] They used to put the postage on the kid, and these carriers would have these babies, and they would just take them on the train with them, and then it started, like, getting out more, and they made it a little.

[1901] Wait, did you snopes this?

[1902] Yeah, yeah, it's real.

[1903] Totally real?

[1904] They sent babies through the mail.

[1905] There's photos of it, yeah.

[1906] What year was this?

[1907] Babies, early 30s, I believe.

[1908] Oh, so people were just worried their baby's going to get eaten by wolves back then.

[1909] They took a chance to the post office.

[1910] Yeah, but the people.

[1911] People that would deliver them the photo that I may show you, it's like the creepies of all child molesters.

[1912] You know, stealing babies.

[1913] When you couldn't track shit online, you know, who knows where your baby is?

[1914] Right.

[1915] They can just do whatever they want with your baby for a couple of days.

[1916] It takes a while to get your baby over there.

[1917] Are you sure male babies wasn't spelled M -A -L -E?

[1918] Like you weren't looking at...

[1919] Wow, that's a mail carrier with a fucking kid.

[1920] That's insane.

[1921] They would have stamps on it, too.

[1922] What does it say about the text making it illegal?

[1923] In 1913, it was...

[1924] Scroll back.

[1925] You want to go up?

[1926] Yeah, where it was.

[1927] In 1913, it was legal to mail children with stamps attached to their clothing.

[1928] Children rode trans to the destinations accompanied by letter carriers.

[1929] One newspaper reported it cost 53 cents for parents to mail their daughter to her grandparents for a family visit.

[1930] As news stories and photos popped up around the country, it didn't take long to get a law on the books, making it illegal to send children in the mail.

[1931] Wow.

[1932] That's crazy.

[1933] They should make it legal again.

[1934] See?

[1935] The U .S. Postal Service.

[1936] Keep them in business?

[1937] Yeah.

[1938] Postal Service is not doing so good anymore.

[1939] Can you imagine if you made your business on sending letters?

[1940] You're like, look, the post office is fucking slow.

[1941] Okay, I can get a letter to your friend in a day.

[1942] If you have something to say to him, just letters, no packages.

[1943] I can get it to them.

[1944] And all of a sudden the Internet comes along and the email comes along.

[1945] You're like, fuck my business.

[1946] Exactly.

[1947] Imagine the guy just 15 years ago that put all his money into mail.

[1948] He's like, well, there's one thing that will definitely never go away.

[1949] Listen, people are always getting needed to send letters in a timely fashion.

[1950] Taxes, letters, and trains.

[1951] Three things that will never go away.

[1952] No one saw text messages coming.

[1953] No one saw any of that coming.

[1954] Right.

[1955] And the idea that you could get all your email on your phone, your phone weighs a fucking ounce and keep it in your pocket.

[1956] The fact that anything is coming in the mail is weird.

[1957] Everything should be digital.

[1958] Well, I think that they're going to have two forms of delivery.

[1959] They're going to use drones and they're going to use 3D printing.

[1960] I think that's what's going to be a lot of products in the future.

[1961] Oh, yeah.

[1962] I think you're going to have some sort of a box in your house about the size of regular home computer printer.

[1963] Need a bigger one for bigger things.

[1964] But you're just going to own, like you're going to use like Bitcoin to buy the directions or buy the ingredients or buy the schematic, whatever.

[1965] You download that schematic into your computer, press print, and that fucker just, develops it right there in your box.

[1966] That's going to happen.

[1967] And the drones will have every house will have a little chimney drop where the drone just, you know.

[1968] A goddamn Santa Claus.

[1969] Yep.

[1970] Say like you left your iPhone at home or your phone at home, right?

[1971] It's going to know your phone and say like hey, I need you to print, send me my phone so you would have to put it in a box because you only have one license for that phone and then it will reprint it wherever you want to destroy your original one because you only have one license.

[1972] What if it becomes like a clone?

[1973] Remember when you get a VCR tape that somebody made off of a VCR tape and it was kind of whack.

[1974] And it's like, ah, this phone's not so good.

[1975] It's a clone.

[1976] It's a clone of your phone.

[1977] A 3D printed clone.

[1978] Yeah.

[1979] But all the data downloaded from the cloud.

[1980] Every time you drop your phone, though, you're like, yeah, I just need to send my phone again and get it, you know, reprinted.

[1981] Yeah, you just get a new phone whenever the new ones came out.

[1982] Yeah, man, I got the new I clone six.

[1983] Well, you know, it would be really dope.

[1984] If you could take old phones and you throw them into the computer and, like, they eats them up and builds a new phone, like whenever a new schematic comes up, it can actually extract and recycle the components of the device or car like every day you go like I want to drive today I want to drive a Porsche tomorrow I want to drive some you know whatever shitty butt car you're just going to be a transformer by the time we're printing out cars we're not going to even have cars anymore we're going to have little thing that you just get in that looks like an egg pretty much and you're just going to sit in it destination today you won't even tie you I don't even know why I'm doing that you're already in the thing you go I want to go to the roller coaster park do you want to go to the roller coaster park 37 miles away yes and then you can make it so that it won't hit anything else I'll do you one better I think we're going to transcend physical reality that's what I think and they're going to develop an artificial reality that is more complex and more rewarding than the physical reality and so no one will exist in the physical reality anymore it will all be even maintained from this artificial reality.

[1985] We will maintain this dimension from an alternative dimension that we create and children will be born instantaneously into this alternative dimension because the fucking fear upon fears is that your kid would be born in the natural world or get eaten by animals.

[1986] Fuck that.

[1987] There will be no children born.

[1988] We're going to figure out a way to transcend the physical reality.

[1989] So whatever consciousness is when it's created, when a man and a woman have sex and a baby comes out of the woman's body, that baby will immediately be transported into an alternative dimension as it's being born.

[1990] We're already in it.

[1991] Maybe.

[1992] I saw your post the other day, a Bugs Life thing.

[1993] Yeah.

[1994] I had just taken all my DVDs out and reorganized them, and I had just looked at Bugs Life because I lost the DVD, and I don't know where it is.

[1995] Yeah, I had a dream about Dave Foley.

[1996] I was in one time in Bear Camp.

[1997] I was in Bear Camp.

[1998] And I was dreaming of Dave Foley was, like, healthy, and he was, like, thin and smiling.

[1999] Yeah, I was like when I knew him in 1994, when I first met him on news radio.

[2000] got up in the morning and I went upstairs and I sat down in front of the TV and a bug's life came on and there was Dave Foley's voice I was like wow this is weird because he did that like around the same time we were doing news radio that guy if I feel bad about any guy getting fucked in a divorce proceeding you want to you want to find the worst case scenario I mean not worst I guess worst was Phil Hartman his fucking wife killed him when he's sleeping but close to worst of a guy getting fucked over by uh divorce and alimony laws and child support laws look look up dave foley look at look up dave foley discusses uh child support and alimony from our podcast because it was it was heartbreaking because they got him locked into a payment schedule based on what he was making when he was on news radio which was a crazy amount of money he was on NBC he was on a sitcom and he was one of the big stars of it coming from kids in the hall he was a well -known comedian they gave him this great big deal and the show was sort of written around him and Phil Harmon and you can't expect to make that kind of money your whole life it's incredible it's an amazing opportunity but the idea of a sitcom is it's a once in a lifetime thing very few people ever get one and one that goes to syndication and what you should do is stockpile as much of that money as possible because the chances of getting another one are quite slim but that's not how the divorce laws look at it they look at it like look this is what you make you owe X amount of percentage of that so if all of a sudden you make you went from a million dollars a year or whatever to a hundred thousand dollars a year you still have to pay a half a million dollars a year like you still whatever the fuck it was would make up a wow that's crazy so he developed more than it was more than a half a million dollars in debt that he could not pay off i mean i don't know what it was but i remember at one time it was a half million it was it was compiling and he couldn't get into the country because if he went to the canada they would arrest him i mean so crazy fucking shit he was having meetings they refused to reduce the amount of money that he had to pay.

[2001] And it's not like a matter of like them getting money for food and money for housing and clothing, which totally makes sense.

[2002] It was exorbitant amounts of money.

[2003] And she was flying all over the country with his money and going to foreign countries and spending all this money on redecoring the house.

[2004] Like he would talk about it, but drive him crazy.

[2005] It's a wild, because Canada doesn't let you get divorced, like as easy as you do in the United States.

[2006] You have to be separated from each other, at least at the time, for a year.

[2007] But during that year, she gets access to your bank account.

[2008] because you have joint accounts.

[2009] So during that year, she would spend with impunity.

[2010] I mean, she would try to break him.

[2011] She would try to break him with her spending.

[2012] You know, he'd talk about it on the podcast, and you see the guy was just devastated by it.

[2013] Just devastated.

[2014] Like, that's a real extreme example.

[2015] Like, one of the most extreme examples.

[2016] Most of the time, you know, it's like we were saying that video earlier where that kid was getting beat up by that woman and he was doing the selfie.

[2017] and he's like stop assaulting me and then when the cops came she said that he assaulted her thankfully he had that video I think in a lot of cases like when people split up and when people get angry like people go from love to hate and in pretty extreme variation like people who it's like people who love each other when you don't love that person anymore or that person doesn't love you it's not just like you don't get along anymore like friends that just say I don't hang around with them anymore It's like they stole something from you.

[2018] They stole a piece of your happiness.

[2019] They stole a piece of your love.

[2020] And they get fucking angry and they'll make shit up.

[2021] They'll say you touched your kids.

[2022] You did a bunch of creepy shit to them.

[2023] You'll beat them up.

[2024] They'll beat themselves up and blame it on you.

[2025] They'll hit themselves with shit and blame it on you.

[2026] Knowing that most of the time cops are going to believe them because guys hit women all the time.

[2027] Yeah.

[2028] It's scary.

[2029] Fucked.

[2030] To be stuck in them.

[2031] Crazy situation like that where someone who you used to get intimate with now wants to lie and plot and do anything to drink.

[2032] You gotta have him back and see if he's happier now, because that really did make me feel very sad when he was here.

[2033] Yeah, it made me sad, too.

[2034] You know, I know he got a sitcom after that for a bit.

[2035] I did a comedy festival with Dave Foley, just about two months ago.

[2036] Did you stand -up?

[2037] Was he doing stand -up?

[2038] How was it?

[2039] Hilarious.

[2040] It was awesome.

[2041] He's a funny dude, man. He could have been doing a stand -up the whole time.

[2042] And we had a lot of fun.

[2043] He's always done sketch comedy, you know, improv and stuff like that.

[2044] but he could have easily been a stand -up.

[2045] He's a very smart guy.

[2046] He's on a show now with Ken Jong, and Ken wants to come on the show also, so maybe we have both of them on.

[2047] Oh, yeah.

[2048] What show is it?

[2049] I don't know.

[2050] I've been seeing them on Facebook.

[2051] They're filming it.

[2052] Ken's awesome.

[2053] Oh, ten minutes.

[2054] Oh, ten minutes.

[2055] We've got to wrap this bitch up.

[2056] Tony motherfucking Hitchcliff, time flies by when we shoot the shit.

[2057] We've got to get you on Kill Tony, soon.

[2058] I would be happy to if you didn't do it in the devil's ball sack, AKA the comedy store Come to a fucking respectable venue And I'll grace you with my services Of course Bring that bitch to the ice house I'll do it at the ice house But I can't go back to that place I just can't Yeah I know too much I know too much Tony The next Friday you have open We'll just make it a kill time Yeah okay let's do it I would love to do that That'd be fun And if you haven't watched Or listen to Kill Tony You can catch it on Desquod .tv It's on iTunes And also on Desquad .com dot TV is the other one that we talk about all the time Thunder pussy which is a fun fun time with the right crowd occasionally you get the wrong crowd becomes a fuck fest but with the right crowd comedians go on stage and just the audience yells out ideas and the comedians start to talk about things they just make comedy up on the spot it's very challenging but very fun and it's also a way that you wind up coming up with a lot of new material because you're just completely riffing as long as the audience is cool we've had both we've had when the audience is awesome and the last time it was a dog show yeah that was annoying i had fun the last time but those guys there was a few people definitely that were out of control we bought a little bit of the bro factory i could tell it was i went up first mind you so i knew it was going to get out of control because if the three guys were bugging me i'm like oof this is a taking time bomb and i tried to acknowledge them and calm them down let them realize that they seemed wasted right from the get the few people that were just out of it like yeah totally you know when people you know audience members wasted when they're like answering rhetorical questions you know you're like you know what drives me crazy no i don't know what drives you crazy what does you know it's like well they were just trying to get attention that was a problem it wasn't simply a matter of participating or yelling out topics they were they were they were like trying to get attention they were trying to be a part of the show right like the guy to the left whose buddy got kicked out early and then he just kept going like dude your buddy's already been kicked out like you guys are too drunk like you got to learn out of handle your liquor son.

[2059] Do you know how people are looking at you?

[2060] You know another thing is that that show is also 18 and up though.

[2061] Yeah, that's not cool.

[2062] Why is it 18 and up?

[2063] I don't know.

[2064] They need to change that shit.

[2065] Yeah, am I allowed to change that?

[2066] Yes.

[2067] 100%.

[2068] Because I mean, I love that age group, but they just, you know, I know they're underage drinking going on.

[2069] Not there, but maybe they came drunk or whatever.

[2070] Yeah.

[2071] That's probably...

[2072] They could bring flasks.

[2073] Nobody's checking their bags when they walk through the door.

[2074] Well, all these problems that we had at the last Thunder Pussy was at the beginning of the show.

[2075] So there's no that they got drunk at the ice house so i think what's happening is people were just coming like fucking balls wasted and it's yeah that 19 year old kid that got kicked out it's like so sad he was just sitting there on the bench outside and i'm like what happened dude he's like man i got kicked out yeah i was like look it's not the end of the world got to realize like it's part of being young you fuck up you get drunk you do retarded shit and then you realize you did retarded shit so the next time you think you're going to get into that same sort of situation again you correct yourself you'll be all right He was so devastated.

[2076] At the beginning of this next Thunder Pussy, the one that we just did, I spent my first three minutes on that guy.

[2077] Because I realized that if I didn't acknowledge him right from the get, then, because Jeremiah even told me, because he hosts it.

[2078] So Jeremiah went up first, then he brought me up.

[2079] Jeremiah goes, I purposefully didn't double, you know, I didn't want to seem like the bad guy.

[2080] I knew that you would like to take that.

[2081] So I didn't even acknowledge him.

[2082] Because, you know, Jeremiah and I worked together a lot, like at the story.

[2083] and just everywhere we're both you know both grinders so anyway he knew he you're on grinder no we don't grind each other no yeah he's out there on his grind dog no he's out there on the grind you know that's like a rap term yeah it's hustling he's hustling every day every day we every day every day every day we be's hustlings yes um but uh yeah so i the worst is that those guys think that they're helping the show well that's the worst that's why if i'm first or second.

[2084] I have the chance to help out the show.

[2085] I go, and you're not going to help the show.

[2086] You might be thinking that you're going to, you know, like I've built over the years of acknowledging these people, I've built jokes on them, you know what I mean?

[2087] And you're going to think you killed tomorrow at the water cooler, but you didn't, you know.

[2088] You've got to just tell them the truth.

[2089] Because if they think then that they're going to help the show, you got to nip it in the, what is it but or butt?

[2090] The bud.

[2091] It's like a plant.

[2092] You nip it in the bud.

[2093] That's what you're supposed do you actually should pull it out by the roots that's the best way nip it in the bud what if it rebuds true you know yeah why we just nip it yeah why we just nip it pull it out of the roots then light that thing on fire that's what you're supposed to do you imagine though being 19 years old and getting drunk come to a comedy show where you're allowed to talk to the comedians you're allowed to yell out ideas there's no I mean that's like part of the fun when it works out great yeah but part of the problem with that is if you get the wrong kind of kids in there Especially young kids, 18 years old, hammered for the first time, yelling shit out.

[2094] Edibles and weed and yeah.

[2095] Yeah.

[2096] I couldn't handle that.

[2097] By the way, highly recommend to see Luis C .K.'s latest episode where he catches his daughter smoking marijuana.

[2098] It's like an hour and a half long episode.

[2099] One of the best things I've ever seen ever.

[2100] Luis C .K. is a maniac, man. Are you watching any of his show?

[2101] I haven't been watching it.

[2102] Oh, my.

[2103] It's really good.

[2104] I almost want to watch it like three more times.

[2105] Wow.

[2106] And the kids, the kids they used in it, the actors brought.

[2107] Bravo to those guys.

[2108] I mean, it was beautiful.

[2109] Wow.

[2110] His daughters are amazing in that show.

[2111] They steal it a lot.

[2112] They're great.

[2113] Wow.

[2114] So great.

[2115] I haven't been watching it.

[2116] Do you watch Game of Thrones?

[2117] Yeah.

[2118] Don't talk about it, though.

[2119] A lot of people get mad.

[2120] Oh, I bet.

[2121] Spoiler alert.

[2122] I just caught up on the episode this week last night.

[2123] Holy fuck.

[2124] Yeah.

[2125] Such a good show.

[2126] After it's over, you just go, holy fuck.

[2127] You want to watch something great.

[2128] Watch a show on Netflix called The Writers Room and just go straight to the Game of Thrones episode.

[2129] It's the two writers.

[2130] They work directly with George Martin, so they're the ones that take George's ideas and with their imagination put it into film.

[2131] It's two guys, and it's been two the whole time, but they don't work together.

[2132] They sit in opposite rooms, and they don't even work on the same episodes.

[2133] What?

[2134] One guy, they do one after the other.

[2135] So one does one, and then one does the next.

[2136] And the reason why it's so great, in my opinion, if you watch this episode of the writer's room called Game of Thrones, with these two guys, you figure out that they're just trying to outdo each other.

[2137] These guys are writing partners, and they're just trying to be like, I'm going to blow your mind this week, bro.

[2138] Great idea.

[2139] Yeah, exactly.

[2140] That's incredible.

[2141] Yeah.

[2142] They pitted them against each other.

[2143] Exactly.

[2144] But they're together, but they're against each.

[2145] It's sort of like Pink Floyd.

[2146] The two main guys, Roger Waters, and David Gilmore, were notorious.

[2147] Like, when you hear a band breakup, like it's sort of built off of Pink Floyd because they didn't play together for 20 or 30 years.

[2148] a notorious huge breakup at the massive peak.

[2149] But that's what they would do.

[2150] Roger Waters would be like, you know, hey, buddy, I'm the lead, creative force, and I just wrote this album called The Wall.

[2151] It's a shame you didn't get anything in on it, and David Gilmore would be like, oh yeah, motherfucker, motherfucker, and he would go in a room and write comfortably numb and come back with that.

[2152] That has the two biggest, you know, some of the biggest guitar solos of all time.

[2153] It's just a little pinpring.

[2154] Yeah, with his voice, that David Gilmore just, And so that's the same thing.

[2155] Those two guys always hated each other, but they're a band, and it helped because Waters would go check out these lyrics in this baseline, bro, and then Gilmore would be like, oh, you think you're a badass?

[2156] Well, watch this guitar solo.

[2157] He would try to steal the song from him.

[2158] Wow.

[2159] You know, by laying it down or using his voice, and Waters was smart enough to let it all happen because that's good for business.

[2160] Isn't like every band that's ever a huge band, Don't they always have a problem with the lead singer and someone else?

[2161] Like, even fucking Van Halen.

[2162] Van Halen broke up, David Lee Roth left.

[2163] They brought in someone else.

[2164] They brought in Sammy Hagar, and they brought in that other dude.

[2165] Remember that other dude?

[2166] Who's the other dude that they brought in?

[2167] He's from a good band, but he sucked it as the lead singer of Van Halen.

[2168] It just didn't work for whatever reason.

[2169] But think Axel Rose and Guns and Roses.

[2170] Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, they keep it together.

[2171] Totally.

[2172] But apparently, like, Keith Richard talked a gang of shit about Mick Jagger in his book.

[2173] Which is kind of fucked down.

[2174] Stephen Tyler.

[2175] Those guys hang out of it.

[2176] But they left for a while, right?

[2177] Didn't Joe Perry leave for a while?

[2178] He did, right?

[2179] Yeah.

[2180] I think so.

[2181] Joe Perry's a cool motherfucker.

[2182] I'm friends with him on Twitter.

[2183] Really?

[2184] That's so cool.

[2185] Joe Perry, he's a conspiracy theorist.

[2186] He's into a lot of conspiracy theories, man. Some wacky ones.

[2187] But, like, I found a rock at the beach.

[2188] And I was like, what is this rock?

[2189] Is this a volcanic rock?

[2190] Or a meteor or something like that?

[2191] Because it had all these holes in it.

[2192] I couldn't figure out what it was like light.

[2193] I remember looking at that.

[2194] And it was like light.

[2195] apparently fish to do that.

[2196] It's like a sea stone.

[2197] Joe Perry told me on Twitter.

[2198] I was like, what a crazy world we live in.

[2199] What Joe Perry can give you explanations of what kind of rock.

[2200] One of the greatest guitar is ever.

[2201] And he knows all about rock.

[2202] He knows about shit.

[2203] Rock and roll.

[2204] He knows about geology.

[2205] Sea rocks and shit.

[2206] Brian, you got anything going on this weekend?

[2207] Tonight, Ontario Improv, Friday Ice House.

[2208] Powerful Ontario Improv.

[2209] I'm going to Florida with Sam Tripoli in August April 8th, 9th, and 10th, Tampa, Jacksonville, and Orlando.

[2210] Good Lord, son.

[2211] And like I said, this weekend, Tony and Brian Callan and I, Thursday and Friday, I shouldn't say this weekend.

[2212] Thursday night, we're in Lloyd Minster, and then both of them are in Canada.

[2213] So if you're like, where the fuck's Lloyd Minster?

[2214] It's in another country, bitch.

[2215] And the other one is Vancouver at the Orphium Theater on Friday night.

[2216] Can't fucking wait.

[2217] Brian Callan, Tony Hinchcliffe, and Mois.

[2218] Good times, you fucks.

[2219] All right.

[2220] Thanks for having.

[2221] Anytime, my friend.

[2222] Anytime.

[2223] That's it.

[2224] Fuckers, thanks for the sponsorship, Mr. Squarespace.

[2225] Go to Squarespace .com and build yourself an awesome website, you freaks, and use the code word Joe and save 10 % off your first purchase.

[2226] Squarespace .com.

[2227] Thanks also to Ting.

[2228] Go to Rogan .tting .com and get an awesome deal on cell phone service for a fraction of the cost and all kinds of good shit that goes along with being involved with Ting.

[2229] Rogan .ting .com will save you 25 bucks off of your first device.

[2230] Go there, enjoy it.

[2231] Go to Onet .com, use the code word, Rogan, and save 10 % off any and all supplements.

[2232] We will be back tomorrow with Ensign Inouye returns to the podcast, the great Yamato Damashi, one of the old -school MMA fighters, a real legend and a cool -ass motherfucker.

[2233] He will be here tomorrow at noon.

[2234] So much love.

[2235] Until then, enjoy your life, you dirty fucks.

[2236] Tony did you have a tour dates?

[2237] Tony Hinchcliff .com Oh yeah, Tony Hinchcliff .com at Tony Hinchcliff on Twitter and check out Killed T -Fs and an E at the end.

[2238] H -plus -inch, Cliff Plus E which reminds me that T -shirt's available at Tony Hinchcliff.

[2239] Get a T -shirt, you fuck, support the kid.

[2240] He's got talent.

[2241] All right, we love you guys.

[2242] Much love, see you soon.

[2243] Big kiss.

[2244] M -A.