Amir From Iran

[0] Conan O 'Brien needs a fan.

[1] Want to talk to Conan?

[2] Visit teamcoco .com slash call Conan.

[3] Okay, let's get started.

[4] Hey, this is Conan O 'Brien.

[5] You're listening to Conan O 'Brien needs a fan.

[6] This is a bit of a different episode today.

[7] A fan from Iran approached us and wanted to speak on the podcast.

[8] We're going to call him Amir.

[9] We've changed his name and his voice so that he can remain anonymous for obvious reasons.

[10] Also, I should mention at one point you'll hear a bleep that was put in at Amir's request for his safety.

[11] It's very dangerous to speak out in Iran, particularly at this moment, and so we want to make sure we do everything we can to protect this young man. I do want to give a quick disclaimer or trigger warning.

[12] You're going to hear Amir describe the situation there in great detail.

[13] Many of the details are brutal.

[14] They're difficult to hear.

[15] So just keep that in mind.

[16] A lot of people, obviously, may listen to this episode and wonder how they can help out.

[17] If you're one of those people, you can visit at Team Coco podcasts on Instagram for more information on how you can get involved to help the people.

[18] Iran.

[19] So let's talk to Amir.

[20] Hey Amir, how are you?

[21] Oh my gosh.

[22] I'm just, you know, it's amazing.

[23] Like, I couldn't be there right now.

[24] I can't get a visa.

[25] This is the only way I can see you.

[26] This is a dream come true.

[27] Amir, it's very flattering.

[28] I know that Amir is not your real name, but I will call you Amir.

[29] I think it's important for us to describe Amir at first like to know.

[30] I'd first like to know How is it you're able to reach out to us?

[31] Technologically, how are you able to do this?

[32] I imagine the Iranian government does not want you going on a Zoom and talking to any American broadcaster.

[33] Each American tourists that come to say, I'll tell them, yes.

[34] Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, what's that just got banned lately because of the protests?

[35] They're all banned.

[36] There are sensors.

[37] You have to access them by a VPN.

[38] And, you know, it's like porn.

[39] Going through Instagram, it's like, finding phone.

[40] There's not much difference between them.

[41] And, you know, they're all banned.

[42] I'm talking to you via VPN and I'm scared that the connection might drop.

[43] I'm just great.

[44] Yesterday, the whole thing I couldn't connect via VPN.

[45] Right.

[46] You could connect via Wi -Fi and Wi -Fi is extremely slow.

[47] I have to download a two -megabyte picture and it took two or three minutes.

[48] Two megabytes.

[49] Amir, let me ask you.

[50] pictures.

[51] I am not going to say too much about where you are.

[52] I'm going to say broadly you're in Tehran.

[53] Is that right?

[54] Yeah, I'm in Tehrum.

[55] Don't worry about the security details.

[56] People aren't going to figure anything out with my name.

[57] Don't you worry.

[58] Okay.

[59] All right.

[60] If you assure me that's the case.

[61] Yeah, it's like Sam.

[62] Okay, Sam.

[63] All right.

[64] Well, Amir, I'd like you to use it.

[65] It's not like Conan.

[66] Okay.

[67] Watch it, Amir.

[68] I'm reaching out to you.

[69] These are very turbulent times.

[70] and now you go after my name.

[71] By the way, I'd like to change my name for this interview, if you're okay with that, Amir.

[72] Let's see, what should I be for this interview?

[73] I'm gonna be, hmm, let's see.

[74] Cape Blanchette?

[75] Yes, I'm Kate Blanchette.

[76] You call me Kate now.

[77] I'm Kate now.

[78] Call me Kate Blanchette, just Kate.

[79] All right, Amir, we're being silly, which I'm glad because silliness must always prevail.

[80] Let me ask you this.

[81] Do you feel safe talking to me right now?

[82] Yes, and yes, because I already told your producers about what I'm going to do about this, I ask them to change my tone a little.

[83] I don't want the same frequency as I'm talking to right now as when the episode comes out.

[84] Because, look, the IRGC has a system like NSA.

[85] They can find you via your sound, by your image, I asked specifically not to show my face because that would cause me trouble.

[86] These are very intense times for you right now, yes?

[87] Yes, these are intense times.

[88] Days ago, the state president here called Avine was on fire.

[89] I heard about that.

[90] Yeah, by the way, I'm glad you guys heard about that because in here, your news media just tells nothing.

[91] So there were videos of two motorshops, I think, fire.

[92] I have a friend who lives near Evian.

[93] It was like, look, it was like, hell.

[94] We had to close the windows.

[95] The windows were shadowing.

[96] It was ridiculous.

[97] Everything was shaking.

[98] Is there any, Amir, let me ask you, does anyone know what happened at the prison?

[99] You say you live in the vicinity of the prison.

[100] Do they know what happened?

[101] We've heard that eight, is it eight prisoners died?

[102] Well, the state TV says four prisoners died, but the state TV lies all the time.

[103] You just don't.

[104] At some point, we will, like, whatever TV says, just believe the opposite.

[105] Okay.

[106] A lot of times.

[107] And this tactic sometimes works, and sometimes it doesn't cause, you know, the regime here is ridiculous.

[108] But still, you know, it's such a historical accident.

[109] I just saw it on my phone, and I was like, this is fucking historical.

[110] By the way, can I say fuck here?

[111] Yeah, you've got bigger worries than that, Amir.

[112] I wouldn't worry about swearing.

[113] Swear away.

[114] You're welcome to swear.

[115] Oh, you want to swear.

[116] Because we're all very curious here in the United States, and of course people all around the world are curious, what is it like to be in Iran right now in Tehran to be a young person?

[117] I've always been aware that Iran has a very young population and people are very intelligent, they're educated, and they have strong opinions.

[118] And so we'd like to hear from you right now what it's like to live in.

[119] in Tehran during this revolution.

[120] Yeah, that's the main reason I called you guys to talk about the situation here because we need more people to talk about us.

[121] This is not a joke.

[122] This is not BS.

[123] We want people to hear us and your news organizations are just, I wish you guys could have seen your news organizations through my perspective.

[124] I wish you guys could be Persian so that you would understand the amount of lobbying happening, the amount of stuff that aren't being shown that must be shown.

[125] I wish I could have come here as myself and talk to you about comedy.

[126] I'm a comedy nerd, I can talk to comedy with you all day.

[127] It's my pure passion.

[128] Oh, okay.

[129] Pure, pure passion.

[130] But I'm going to have to talk about this.

[131] Then we'll get you comfortably.

[132] So...

[133] Well, first of all, can I say, Amir, I think you've got your priorities completely upside down.

[134] I know that some intense stuff is happening in Tehran right now, but we shugged, talk about comedy first.

[135] No, no, no, no, no. I'm not going to talk about comedy first.

[136] I'm kidding.

[137] I'm kidding.

[138] Oh, you were kidding.

[139] At first, let me tell you what it is like living as a young person in Iran.

[140] So I'm...

[141] So let me tell you some of the restrictions here.

[142] And by the way, I'm lucky.

[143] I'm a God.

[144] I'm a boy.

[145] Being a female here, being a girl here, there's a whole other.

[146] hell.

[147] The reason this whole protest got started was Mahsa Amini.

[148] A 22 -year -old girl.

[149] That's why I sympathized so much with her.

[150] I was like, look, she's a 22 -year -old girl.

[151] She was beaten to death in custody.

[152] In custody.

[153] And the detainees next to her reported, like, yes, they beat her to death.

[154] She had blood coming out of her ears.

[155] And the state TV said she had a heart attack because of pre -medical conditions.

[156] So you're going to expect people getting furious that, wait a minute, that's not the truth.

[157] She was beaten to death.

[158] There were images of her on the hospital there, and there were bruises on her eyes.

[159] Yeah.

[160] And it's just lies.

[161] We're just seeing our government, by the way, it's not our government here.

[162] I'll get mad at anybody.

[163] Yeah, that's your government.

[164] No, these guys are not Humans.

[165] And, you know, Masa Amini was just the beginning.

[166] These guys don't care about anybody.

[167] Let me talk to, by the way, the conversation is going to get real dark now.

[168] Because there's this 17 -year -old girl.

[169] Well, there was this 17 -year -old girl called Nikon Shokane.

[170] So let me tell you what happened to you.

[171] She was protesting in Keshavar's bully war.

[172] She got arrested and she wasn't heard about for 10 days.

[173] Then her body was found with the bruises And with bruises on her face, her face was beaten.

[174] She was beaten to death with the toss.

[175] On her face, her parents reported about her nose was smashed, her skull was broken.

[176] Again, Conan, 17 -year -old girl, minus 18.

[177] Do you guys that's minor, right?

[178] Everywhere that's minor.

[179] You don't hear a child to death.

[180] And then later, there were reports about her getting raped.

[181] Her getting raped for 10 days, Conan.

[182] She was tortured, raped, and beaten to death.

[183] You know, this is what they do.

[184] Like, you know when you see HBO or Netflix episodes, and at the beginning of the episode, it says caution, violence, sex struggles, whatever.

[185] Now, imagine the amount of cautions that should have to put simply just talking about Niko Shokan.

[186] A girl who was just protesting, she burned her scarf.

[187] Like, you guys don't understand what you.

[188] burning a scarf means here.

[189] Masa Amini was in custody because she didn't look the right way.

[190] Her hair was out alone.

[191] Her job wasn't proper.

[192] And the morality police arrested her, beat her to death.

[193] Like, how do you handle that news coming?

[194] Let me break in for a second and say that I do think there is an awareness of what's happening, you know, in the West.

[195] We obviously don't know to the great detail that you have.

[196] because you're living there, but there are wide reports in the United States that this revolution is quite different than some of the disturbances that have happened before.

[197] I was reading an article recently that said that more young people and children are participating in the protests, which is quite different than anything that's happened before in memory in Iran.

[198] Is that the case?

[199] yes these are children look these are people my age and less yeah that is insane three days ago in Ardebel they threw tear gas in a school in Abdebil is a town in Iran and they you know took children as prisoners and one child a girl a school girl died and people do this process I've been going on for a month now So each week, you just hear terrible news after the other.

[200] This psychological situation, look, I'm getting, I'm under so much psychological pressure.

[201] I hear this news and I'm like, what the hell are these animals doing to children?

[202] Like, a child was killed.

[203] I think she was eight years old, nine years old.

[204] Like, imagine going through that.

[205] Even in video games, you cannot shoot children.

[206] and they kill children.

[207] Do you think the revolution, which I remember very well in 1979, when the Shah fled and Iran turns over into this theocratic government, it's been such a long time since that happened.

[208] And there have been moments, many moments since 1979 when young people have said, we want change, we want something different.

[209] Do you feel that what's happening right now is different than what's happened before?

[210] Do you feel like this revolution, this protest is stronger?

[211] Is it more vocal?

[212] Is there a chance that this could lead to change?

[213] Well, the main difference about this protest was, first of all, it was a protest that was sorted as a female word.

[214] Females, look, women in here have a lot.

[215] to say about the constant oppression and how these guys just like imagine you cannot go out like sona well wait hi sona hi and like imagine sona you're going out in the streets and you'll get arrested for showing your hair you cannot wear a t -shirt you have to be clothed all the time they wear montau which is a long shirt basically it's insane and you know if you see a picture of it on I don't know, New York Times, CNN, you'll be like, oh, that's Iran.

[216] But people Iran will tell you, that's not what we want.

[217] We don't want that.

[218] I want my mother, all the women here, to walk freely without being pressed charges here.

[219] And the women here are fierce.

[220] They, you know, they're brave.

[221] They've not come to fuck around.

[222] Since the beginning of the protest, this is like the first time.

[223] In the beginning of the protest, I noticed this.

[224] People were like, that, just saying that, it's insane.

[225] Right.

[226] People arrest you.

[227] People have gotten hang for saying, and, you know, they just torture us here.

[228] Yeah.

[229] Even prison, we call it every university, because there are so many scholars, so many university students, so many women, so many human rights activists.

[230] I want to talk about what's in one of the?

[231] He went on a strike.

[232] They broke both of his legs, he's a human rights actor.

[233] He was just saying how the regime was doing propaganda.

[234] Because the rest said, he was in prison right now.

[235] There are so many people in prison right now.

[236] When the fire happened, people were like, this is, we're worried.

[237] These are geniuses in there.

[238] I mean, imagine, imagine the pain.

[239] Imagine the grief you would have to go through.

[240] from that happening to you.

[241] There's a couple points I'd like to make.

[242] One is, you've said repeatedly, and I understand why you're saying it, is imagine, imagine this.

[243] And I have to be honest with you, I can't imagine it.

[244] It's unimaginable to me. It's unimaginable to people that live in a society like mine, that this could happen.

[245] And I have incredible sympathy for what you and what your people are going through.

[246] I would like to say that we'd very much like to speak to a woman and hear her point of view if you have if you have a friend who would be able to speak to us or would they be too worried to do that?

[247] I'll tell you guys my guess there's no female around me right now right.

[248] It's midnight here.

[249] Right okay, okay.

[250] Yes, yes.

[251] But we would like to hear very much from a woman who is participating in this movement and hear from her point of view, as well as your point of view.

[252] You know, Conan, you talked about my personal experience growing up here.

[253] So I remember being in elementary school, and we had Koran classes.

[254] The book that Muslims read, you know about that, right?

[255] Yes, of course, yes.

[256] And so we had classes of Koran, and they would tell us the full premise of the class was just read Koran.

[257] And read Koran, you know, musically, read it literature.

[258] read Koran the right way.

[259] And I was like, wait a minute.

[260] So I'm reading Koran, but I'm not reading the translation.

[261] I'm just reading in Arabic.

[262] Like, how insane is that?

[263] Reading the Koran in Arabic, not reading it in Persian, not reading what it says.

[264] And that's what people would say, like, well, are the protesters protesting Islam?

[265] I was like, look, there are problemism with Islam.

[266] I just don't want Islam ruling my life.

[267] Right.

[268] I don't want Muslims, not even Islam.

[269] Like, there are mullahs here that haven't read Koran, they just make stuff up.

[270] They just make stuff up.

[271] They haven't even read Koran.

[272] This mandatory hijab, it's not in Koran.

[273] Muslims will tell you.

[274] It's not in Koran.

[275] They do a lot of stuff that's not in Koran.

[276] But since people don't read Koran here, they just need to sing it perfectly.

[277] But it's crazy.

[278] Imagine if people were like, look, you're going to have to read the script but in Arabic and don't understand anything.

[279] Just reading an anecdote.

[280] It's insane.

[281] It's just, you know, pure hypnotizing us.

[282] It's indoctrination.

[283] The history book here is not a real history.

[284] And by the way, I urge you guys to share this knowledge, to share this to everybody.

[285] It's what we want most.

[286] I heard I saw a post on Instagram, people said, yes, celebrities are talking about Iran for attention.

[287] Yes, we want attention.

[288] Talk, I don't care if you're a narcissist or you're just some down -to -earth guy posts about Iran.

[289] People need to know about us.

[290] Okay.

[291] And this is important.

[292] Like, you know, how many will call and say, yes, it's because of America and Israel.

[293] He just says that so they can oppress people, so they can freely shoot people.

[294] And I've seen you have the same strategy at Poonen and you shoot everybody in there.

[295] I mean, come on.

[296] Well, I use, listen, if you're comparing me, to the oppressive regime in Iran, you're not far off.

[297] I have my own way of dealing with people, but it's a verbal assault.

[298] And how dare you, Amir?

[299] Amir, do me one favor.

[300] Do me one favor.

[301] I know you have notes there, but I want you to put your notes aside for a second because what I'd like to do is understand on a very human level, you, 100 years old, young man living in Tehran.

[302] I'd first like to know, how are you participating or are you participating in this revolution and what do you do?

[303] What is your day -to -day?

[304] How do you help out?

[305] How do you contribute?

[306] Yeah.

[307] So at the beginning of the protest, by the way, until now, my parents, nobody knows about my protests.

[308] Because they'll tell me, don't go to protest.

[309] You're going to get killed.

[310] And, you know, I tell them, yes, okay, I don't go anywhere.

[311] but I do you know it's an instinct you cannot not do anything when you see a 17 year old girl getting raped like that's not look I'm a guy I cannot see that happening since I grew up my parents tell me you do not hit a girl that's not appropriate you do not hit a girl whatever you do even if she takes out a knife you do not hit that girl and they be girls they be children But they don't share.

[312] So what do you do?

[313] So I'm a nerd in the...

[314] It's my favorite thing in the world.

[315] Comedy and I'm just two things that I love the most.

[316] And I've worked in a...

[317] I won't tell you where, and I won't tell you which city is.

[318] And I would go house to house.

[319] People would open up their doors.

[320] And protesters would come in running away from the IRC's forces and gasey G's.

[321] People would come with wounds, with pellet wounds, with baton and hits, and I would bandage them up, and I told them what to do.

[322] I advised them, I asked as many doctors as I could about their situations.

[323] That's, look, I'm a medicine freak.

[324] The least I can do is help them that way.

[325] And I urge everybody who can do that, to do that, help in whatever way you can.

[326] That was my help.

[327] And, you know, I would chant for two minutes.

[328] know, there are people getting shot, there are people getting killed in universities.

[329] A really close friend of mine, she tells me at universities, they just, they held each other's hands, and they chanted, and they sat there, they just protested whatever they did, whatever way they could, and you know, the IRGIC has spies among university students.

[330] There are people just like us.

[331] You see a guy with a tattoo with a Nirvana t -shirt coming to university, and this guy is from Basich.

[332] And you cannot tell the difference.

[333] And by the way, my problem with your news media, you guys are talking on and on about Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, like, aren't you guys done with them already?

[334] I am, yeah.

[335] That's why we want to talk to you is this is an opportunity for us to try and understand on a human level what's going on, which is why I really want to connect with you and understand your day -to -day experience.

[336] It sounds like what you said is you haven't told your parents that you're helping out in the protests.

[337] I won't dare tell my parents.

[338] I won't even dare tell them to listen to this episode.

[339] A lot of people, Amir, a lot of people won't admit they listen to Conan O 'Brien, but for different reasons.

[340] Okay.

[341] You happen to have a very good one.

[342] But I'm curious to know because you would have a sense of how your friends feel and how your friends think.

[343] I have always imagined that there are many young, very intelligent people in Iran, very well educated, who are very unhappy and have been very unhappy with this government for a long time.

[344] Do you think that you and your friends feel that there's a chance?

[345] that things could change or do most of your friends think it would be better just to leave Iran?

[346] Well, see, that's the plan everybody does here.

[347] In my school, I was, there were 100 people, same grade as one.

[348] There were 100 people, I think 40 of them or 50 of them have stayed.

[349] The others have left Canada.

[350] And all of my friends from the university are going to Canada.

[351] Because this isn't, this is a I don't think this is my country anymore.

[352] These guys don't treat me like a human being, and I'm a god.

[353] Imagine, imagine being a woman here.

[354] You can't talk freely.

[355] You can't sing.

[356] There's not a, you know, there's not a Cardi B concert here.

[357] There's no female concerts here, all men.

[358] Again, I'm insisting on that this movement started as a women's right movement.

[359] And in here, look, I'll lose home.

[360] about the protests when I see you guys stop talking about it.

[361] When I see your news media just going silent on these stuff, I go, what the hell?

[362] They're just going to do what they did to us three years ago.

[363] Did you know, Conan, three years ago?

[364] There was another protest for fuel prices, and they caught internet completely for seven days.

[365] You do understand what that means, or not?

[366] But there are limits to what the Iranian government can do you're an example right now.

[367] You're talking to us.

[368] I understand it's after midnight in Tehran.

[369] We're in Los Angeles, but we're having a real in -time conversation.

[370] There is hope that if you can do this, many more people can get the word out and keep this story alive.

[371] Yeah, so there are stuff you guys can do, and I know you guys can do this.

[372] Please mean about us.

[373] Please talk about us.

[374] I want everybody, not just you, everyone in that studio and anyone you know just ask them to talk about us.

[375] We need people to hear our voices because it needs to be here.

[376] There are crimes happening here that should not be forgotten.

[377] 180, more than I think more than 200 people died in the last month simply because they were like, look, we're not with the issue.

[378] Right.

[379] And the regime was like, well, guess what?

[380] I'm going to torture you guys.

[381] imprisoning you guys and kill you guys.

[382] And guess what?

[383] The missing media won't talk shit about you guys.

[384] And that annoys the crab hand.

[385] I need you guys.

[386] I urge you guys, everybody, anyone there, please talk about us.

[387] On that point, Amir, let me quickly ask you, I think there are many Americans, and I agree with you that we can do our part to be more vocal about what's happening in Iran, and we should do that, and we will make people as aware, through our platforms as aware as we can of our interview.

[388] And we're going to keep up, you know, our end of things on that.

[389] But I do believe there are many people in the United States who think Iran is a closed system.

[390] What is it we can possibly do?

[391] It's an isolated country.

[392] We don't have diplomatic relations with.

[393] with Iran.

[394] So what is it that Americans can do on a practical level to affect change?

[395] I think there is a feeling sometimes of helplessness in our country.

[396] There's actually stuff you can do.

[397] Yeah.

[398] Okay.

[399] Go ahead.

[400] So contact your representatives.

[401] There are some petitions online to throw out the children of the officials.

[402] Look, how many his children, all the officials who have participated in the RUGC's crime and Feminist crimes and its regime's crimes.

[403] They all, you'll find their children on social media in America, in Hollywood, in Los Angeles.

[404] They take our money, the money that we gave them to.

[405] They steal that money and immigrate to U .S. to live a better life.

[406] So what I'm asking you guys is, contact the representatives in Congress, Parliament, I don't know the political system there, but ask any officials, mail them, tell them something, ask them to identify and freeze the assets of the officials who participate in this crime.

[407] I bet you you'll find the list of more than 50 or 100 ,000 people, of just people who came there just because of privilege.

[408] Similar strategy has been used, against the Russian government because obviously many Russian oligarchs have assets here in the United States.

[409] They've, many, they emigrate here.

[410] They buy expensive properties.

[411] And there's been an attempt in the same way to crack down on the people around Putin to increase pressure on him.

[412] You're saying that you think in the same way there are people who are related to someone in the government or to Khomey and that they are living in the United States and that their assets could be frozen.

[413] I'm talking about so many and not just how many, everybody.

[414] But we do know how extremely like crazy is that I'm telling you guys, I cannot say any of this to you guys.

[415] It's extremely dangerous.

[416] And I'm telling this because people need to hear about this.

[417] So, yes, contact representatives.

[418] ask them to identify and freeze every asset of the Islamic Republic's officials.

[419] There are petitions online just to do a Google session.

[420] You'll find about them or go on Twitter.

[421] Let me ask you quickly for clarification.

[422] When you talk about Khomeini, I just want to make it clear to everyone that you are, it's a distinction from obviously Ayatollah Khomeini who's been dead for a long, long time.

[423] Yes.

[424] And Khomeini is the Supreme Leader right now.

[425] Yes.

[426] This guy's just been torturing this for a long time.

[427] Like, you know, look, Conan, want to know what my point of view is I'm an Iranian.

[428] I don't want to live Iran.

[429] I really don't want to live Iran.

[430] I don't want to beg anybody from a foreign country, from U .S., from Canada, to beg them to accept me as what?

[431] A researcher?

[432] What the hell?

[433] I want to be normal.

[434] I want to be the same as you.

[435] Look, I'm a comedy fan.

[436] The first thing you would tell anybody who's a comedy, who wants to do comedy is go to a comedy club.

[437] You'll find a comedy club in L .A. or New York or any state.

[438] In Iran, there's no comedy club.

[439] You're not going to find a comedy club to go perform as an open mic, let alone as an MC.

[440] There must be places, though, Amir, or ways that people like yourself who like comedy can gather secretly and have, have performances.

[441] Does that happen?

[442] Yeah.

[443] So everything gets censored here calling.

[444] You've got to understand.

[445] Everything there is politicized.

[446] Like, if I make, let alone even politician, even if I make a joke about Muslims, it's extremely dangerous.

[447] And you don't want to do a joke about Islam to Muslims.

[448] But, you know, there's a lot of Muslims here.

[449] And you cannot just, you know, in order to do comedy, you'll have to either go silence, or you'll have to go like Jim Gaffigan, just clean comedy.

[450] Right.

[451] Clean comedy works well.

[452] There are people who have made a lot of money from clean comedy.

[453] Are you saying that Jim Gaffekin could tour Iran right now?

[454] And he'd be welcome.

[455] Wow.

[456] Burn on Jim.

[457] No, no, no. I love Jim Gaffigan, but I'm going to tell him that I've got, the word has come through.

[458] He should book a date in Tehran immediately.

[459] Yeah, no, no. Oh, okay.

[460] I'll bet you you'll find one offensive joke and has jokes that might get in hand.

[461] Right, right.

[462] Well, he has to take that risk.

[463] Yes.

[464] Look, that's the risk Gaffigan has to take.

[465] Well, yeah, and I think that's the reason you're telling him to call me. I'm here safe in my podcast studio in L .A., but I think Jim Gaffigan needs to get over to Tehran right away.

[466] Jesus Christ.

[467] Amir, what is your plan?

[468] What do you think you would like to do in the next year.

[469] Do you have a plan to try and leave?

[470] Yes.

[471] Uh, Tehran?

[472] Yes, everybody has, look, Conan, everybody in here has a plan to leave.

[473] Right, okay.

[474] Genius people are moving away.

[475] I'm going, I'm not going to stay here, I'm going to leave.

[476] That bothers me. That bothers me a lot.

[477] Right, okay.

[478] Now, I'm lucky because I kind of can, but there are people who are so under the poverty line.

[479] Look, there are guys so below zero.

[480] You need like $100, $200 million for that guy to reach zero.

[481] And by the way, Conan, this protests, yes, they started as women's rights, but these are us telling you guys, the economy here is ridiculous.

[482] Everything is ridiculous.

[483] Like, remember when Trump was like, look, I've had it enough with nuclear deal, which has had its own benefits and, you know, its own casualties.

[484] So after that, the dollar price went up by five times, six times.

[485] And our worst car here is called Pera.

[486] It's Troy.

[487] Of all names, Pride.

[488] And we're not proud of that name, by the way, because the car is terrible.

[489] This is an Iranian, this is a car that's made in Iran, and it's called...

[490] It's called Pride.

[491] Yes.

[492] You have a car that's called Pride, and you're saying it's not a good car.

[493] Yeah, I have a joke where it was.

[494] Trit movement in here just means another family getting killed because of the accidents with Troy.

[495] Amir.

[496] Yeah, I know.

[497] Amir.

[498] You make really that jokes here.

[499] This is not a, that's not a joke, Gaffigan is going to go with.

[500] The pride is a very dangerous car, is what you're saying.

[501] A dangerous car.

[502] It's insane.

[503] So the price of the shittiest car, pride was about $14 million, $15 million.

[504] Toman is the currency here So in a year The price spiked up to 100 and right now Pride is 200 million Want to know what the minimum wage is in Iran The minimum wage in Iran is 3 million per month So if you divide 200 by 3 you're going to get 66 And you divide that by 12 You're going to get 5 and a half year without spending any money just to buy pride.

[505] Just to buy a terrible car that may kill you, yeah.

[506] Yeah, people ask me, why didn't want to leave?

[507] Look at the economical situation.

[508] You like, forget the, like, let's forget about the whole freedom thing.

[509] Let's just talk about the economy situation here.

[510] I'm living with my parents.

[511] Do you really think I want to live on my parents?

[512] No. I want to get out of here.

[513] But the real estate prices are so long.

[514] You cannot simply buy a house or rent a house even with a minimum wage.

[515] And look, I'm not that financially like bad, I'm normal.

[516] Right.

[517] And even I can't do that.

[518] Like, imagine the guy who has nothing.

[519] Amir, one question that anyone would have at this moment is, and I think I obviously know what the answer is, but I have to ask it, there's this theocracy, there's this religious government that you and all of your friends and a large swath of the people are unhappy with and the economies in ruins, you wonder how long this government can sustain power?

[520] How can they stay in power?

[521] I understand they're using terror tactics to repress the people, but it feels like things cannot, do you have any hope that this just cannot continue at a certain point, if enough people like you, if a large enough part of the population is disaffected and violently upset.

[522] So that's why I look at the protests now as a historical movement.

[523] Yeah.

[524] These are historical moments in Iran.

[525] And there have been a lot of historical moments happening in the past three years' moment.

[526] This wasn't our first protest.

[527] There were protests happening 40 years ago, and after 10 years there was another protest.

[528] But the protests have a long time with women.

[529] Right now, it's like a year and months even between protests.

[530] That's what we're getting hopeful about this because, look, even if the protests are just going to be another protest.

[531] Because people are fed up.

[532] Ask any Iranian you know about this.

[533] And they'll tell you.

[534] And I bet you there's a lot of Iranians there in L .A., right?

[535] Yes.

[536] I mean, there's more Indians in L .A. than sometimes in Iran.

[537] Right.

[538] And I just cannot not talk about this comment.

[539] My main goal for this interview is for people to hear you on a very human level talking about what it's like in Tehran right now.

[540] And I think you've done that.

[541] I think you've done a lot of that.

[542] I'm curious to know you've said that your dream is to leave, which does make me sad that people as intelligent as you.

[543] should be the hope in the future of Iran, and it saddens me greatly that yourself and your peers feel like there is no future there, that this government can't change because you do have a beautiful country.

[544] You do have a country with an incredible history and culture, and the fact that you feel that your only hope is to leave is devastatingly sad.

[545] Yeah, that's why I want this revolution to succeed, because I want freedom.

[546] I want you to do a in Iran.

[547] And by the way, all of you guys, all the Conan staff is invited to my house.

[548] Oh, really?

[549] I'm going to give you the best person to June ever.

[550] Yeah.

[551] Oh.

[552] You come.

[553] If Iran gets free, the first place to come here is my house.

[554] And if you go anywhere, I'm not single people.

[555] You know, what's that?

[556] I think, didn't you?

[557] He said if we go anywhere else, you're not invited to it.

[558] No, wait a minute.

[559] Wait a minute.

[560] Okay.

[561] I'm here.

[562] I'm here.

[563] No, no, no. I, the whole concept here is that I need a friend.

[564] So you're my friend now in Tehran, so I want to come visit you.

[565] How would that go over if I visited you in Tehran?

[566] Would your friends even know who I am?

[567] Would they have any idea?

[568] Yeah, I'll have to explain to my friends like, oh, I'm going to meet a Conan.

[569] And, you know, obviously they were like, who the hell is Conan?

[570] I was like, look, he's a comedian, he's my favorite comedian.

[571] He's an Irish fellow.

[572] he, you know, he has red hair.

[573] He makes really great jokes.

[574] And they were like, oh, I love Bill Burr.

[575] And I was like, no, no, it's nothing.

[576] Okay, Amir.

[577] I had that coming, I guess.

[578] You'll stick out.

[579] I think you'll stick out in Iran a little bit.

[580] You know, I think, don't underestimate your parents, Amir.

[581] You know, they may know about me, you know, and it's important.

[582] You know, Kate Blanchet?

[583] Yeah.

[584] Oh, yeah.

[585] Everybody knows kids.

[586] Yeah.

[587] Just say there's this.

[588] Everybody knocks on.

[589] Oh, that's good.

[590] Everybody knows going to.

[591] I was just making a joke.

[592] No, it's very funny.

[593] And also.

[594] No, I like it.

[595] So no, let this man speak.

[596] He needs to be heard.

[597] Are you saying that I'm beloved in Iran, Amir?

[598] We love you.

[599] Here come.

[600] But Amir, the good news, and I always try to look for some optimistic shred of light, is that clearly you and your friends and many people, not just your age, but I'm sure throughout many demographics and age groups in Iran, it's not working.

[601] It's not working anymore.

[602] You know it's a lie.

[603] You know that this is no way to live.

[604] And I think that obviously is the fuel that's generating all of these revolutions and protests.

[605] Yes, that plan is fair.

[606] People are turning atheists now.

[607] Yeah.

[608] People are becoming atheists.

[609] Right.

[610] And I'm not going to I'm going to tell you what's my cause, you know, like IRC alone, Muslims would go crazy if I thought anything bad about this.

[611] So I'm just telling you guys, this is not Islamophobia.

[612] If you're saying, take off your, we're not saying take off your hijab.

[613] We're just saying, well, whatever you want.

[614] We just, I don't want to wear a hijab.

[615] I don't want to wear a hijab also.

[616] It's like insane.

[617] And there are so many ridiculous rules.

[618] Let me play with something funny.

[619] They make advertisements for the state TV.

[620] And once in advertisements there was a duck and it went to the sensor and the sensor told me you cannot put a duck in this video because dogs walk in a sexual way.

[621] Like, what the fuck?

[622] That guy is basically just telling you that he's got a thing for ducks.

[623] That's, yes.

[624] I love that.

[625] I love that.

[626] Hey, we can't have any ducks because all of us want to fuck a duck.

[627] Right?

[628] I mean, am I right?

[629] We're all secret duck fuckers.

[630] We can't have that.

[631] I know.

[632] That's a fantastic story.

[633] Yes, and I was like, what kind of herbert is johnning his ham with fucking ducks?

[634] Like, who the hell is jerking the dog?

[635] What was your phrase there?

[636] Johnny is ham?

[637] Okay, listen.

[638] Amir, I was very sympathetic to you and the revolution until you took us down this duck fucking avenue.

[639] Now I must part with you completely.

[640] Amir, here is...

[641] Please don't.

[642] I wish I could have talked to you a lot.

[643] I know.

[644] Amir, well, maybe we'll talk again.

[645] We have to keep these lines of communication.

[646] But Amir, listen to me. I am so glad that you reached out to us And I can't say that we're the best people to reach out to, but we're here for you.

[647] And we feel great sympathy, not just for you, but for all of your friends and everybody in Iran who is going through this terrible experience.

[648] And we are thinking of you and we will do what we can to get your message out.

[649] And I just want you to know that you do have friends here, specifically me and Sona and Matt goarly and Blay, everyone in this booth and everybody on Team Coco, we're with you and we'll use what platforms we have to make sure that your message gets out.

[650] But in the meantime, I want you to stay safe, okay?

[651] I appreciate what you're doing.

[652] Yeah, we're going to have to move on, actually.

[653] Oh, come on.

[654] I had so many jokes.

[655] And, you know...

[656] You had jokes.

[657] We spoke for an hour.

[658] I haven't heard any of the jokes.

[659] He didn't open for Jim Gaff again.

[660] Yeah.

[661] You know what, forget the joke.

[662] Just everybody listening to this.

[663] Do whatever you can to support us and go to Instagram, go to Twitter.

[664] We just need your support.

[665] And that's it.

[666] Well, you have our support, Amir, and you have our admiration, and you have our friendship.

[667] and we will do everything in our power.

[668] I'd like to pretend that I'm a very powerful person in American entertainment.

[669] I don't think I am, but we do have some influence and we'll do everything we can to...

[670] Thank you so much.

[671] Make sure that Iran and your struggle are in our thoughts.

[672] Please tell all of your friends that there is great sympathy and love and support for the Iranian people going through what you're going through right now.

[673] I hope we can speak again.

[674] And look, the way the government was supposed to be, I shouldn't have been meeting you guys.

[675] I wasn't supposed to meet you guys because you guys are in the U .S., but we're talking about the magic of Internet and, you know, I'm grateful for that.

[676] Thank you so much for taking your time to speak with me. Thank you, Sona.

[677] Thank you, Blay, everybody.

[678] Thank you so much.

[679] Thank you, Amir.

[680] Thank you very much.

[681] Thank you, Amir.

[682] Be safe.

[683] And I look forward to meeting you in person under happier circumstances.

[684] Okay?

[685] That will happen.

[686] I hope you can talk in Iran.

[687] Come to my house.

[688] We'll have a dinner here.

[689] And, you know, maybe then my parents will know about you.

[690] I would be honored.

[691] I would be honored to go to Tehran, dine with your parents, and explain my career to them.

[692] It's going to involve them watching several hundred hours of YouTube.

[693] But that's just what it's going to take.

[694] But we'll see you in better times.

[695] It's a Vap of Duck videos.

[696] Take care, Amir.

[697] Conan O 'Brien needs a fan.

[698] With Conan O 'Brien, Sonam Obsessian, and Matt Gourley.

[699] Produced by me, Matt Gourley.

[700] Executive produced by Adam Sacks, Joanna Solitaireoff, and Jeff Ross at Team Coco, and Colin Anderson at Earwolf.

[701] Music by Jimmy Vivino.

[702] Supervising, producer.

[703] Aaron Blaird, Associate Talent Producer Jennifer Samples, Associate producers Sean Doherty and Lisa Berm, engineered by Will Bechton.

[704] Please rate, review, and subscribe to Conan O 'Brien needs a friend on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever fine podcasts are downloaded.

[705] This episode was edited and mixed by me, Brett Morris.

[706] This has been a team Coco production in association with Stitcher.