The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz XX
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[33] This is the Dan Levator show with the Stucats podcast.
[34] It's a golden game.
[35] We're on air.
[36] I don't know why it is that you don't hear when they're counting down or have your headset on and everyone's trying to keep you alert.
[37] He's done because he promoted his podcast.
[38] It's all he cares about it.
[39] It's the only reason he's here.
[40] And this is where we start to lose Greg Cody.
[41] He loses stamina.
[42] right about now.
[43] Stamina.
[44] Still trying to figure out who won that.
[45] Cliffanger.
[46] I got the stamina of a 20 -year -old.
[47] No, you don't.
[48] Show me a 20 -year -old.
[49] Yeah.
[50] A 20 -year -old ottoman.
[51] I'll outstamma him.
[52] Stamina him.
[53] There you go.
[54] He's right.
[55] What signifies stamina?
[56] Is that a foot race?
[57] Is that a strength thing?
[58] Hmm.
[59] You know, how do we associate that?
[60] Noah Lyles...
[61] I've got good stamina.
[62] Is a professional troll, correct?
[63] Yeah.
[64] He's picking a fight.
[65] That's what he's looking.
[66] He's looking for a social media fight and succeeding in getting one, you know?
[67] I mean, why would Noah Liles, a gold medal winner, care what Tyreek Hill is saying?
[68] You know, it's ridiculous.
[69] That's not even the one I was mentioning.
[70] Okay, so he goes on with Shannon Sharp and renders all his NBA opinions totally irrelevant when he tells Shannon Schart, Yokic, never heard of him.
[71] So when he says not a world champion of the NBA's team, and I understand this, it's a silly argument.
[72] we can argue whether America's champion deserves to be champion of the world without having beaten the world.
[73] But Noah Lyle's said of the NBA, they're not world champions, but he doesn't know the players.
[74] So he's just doing that to bother people.
[75] Now he tells Tyreek Hill, you really want to race?
[76] Let's go.
[77] I'm at a track near you.
[78] And what is Tyreek's answer?
[79] 50 yards.
[80] Not the thing that you're best in the world at.
[81] 50 yards.
[82] I want to change the distance because I don't want to do it.
[83] do it the same thing that you're the world champion.
[84] The thing where I have a chance to beat you, I think.
[85] And Josh Hart is saying on his podcast with Jalen Brunson, he was saying, I really wanted him to lose in the Olympics.
[86] Were there a lot of Americans doing that?
[87] Because the sprinter stugats is sort of the caricature cartoon of the wide receiver diva.
[88] Whatever it is that Tyreek Hill is as a personality, Noah Liles is that because Fast man in the world tends to imbue you with a certain arrogance and peacocking that the average person doesn't walk around their daily life with the world's fastest man should be able to outrun Tyree Kill for 50 yards he should accept that challenge and if he doesn't it means he's running from Tyree Kill uh he says the man dodges smoke that's what he says of Tyree Kill because Tyree Kill never actually does any of these races well i i fear the dolphins you probably don't want too.
[89] Of course not now.
[90] Yeah, don't want you to pop a muscle racing Noah Liles.
[91] But D .K. Metcalfe also says he's faster than Tyree Kill and we're never going to see them race.
[92] And Jalen Waddle says he's faster than Tyree Kill and we're never going to see them race.
[93] The only way to do this is really with player tracking when they run a 9 route.
[94] They race at the Pro Bowl, I think, this past year, the year before.
[95] And who won?
[96] I'll get back to you.
[97] It is alleged that the dolphins have a white cornerback who's faster than any of them.
[98] What is his name?
[99] Bronner?
[100] Ethan Bonner.
[101] that does sound white that can't possibly be true that Ethan Bonner is faster than both Tyreek Hill and No Hill has said it Waddle has said it Mostard has said it they all say he's the fastest on the team I mean is there a black Ethan?
[102] Oh no man there has to be put it on the poll Juju is there a black Ethan Wait let's Google it before we poll it I feel like the internet can just see if you can find A black famous Ethan All right, so the race was Tyreek Hill, Nick Chubb, Micah Parsons, and Trayvon Diggs.
[103] We're showing the video audience, Ethan Bonner right now.
[104] Yeah, but that is not the people.
[105] He is white.
[106] That is not any of the people.
[107] So Tyreeg won that race, correct?
[108] There's an Ethan Black.
[109] I believe he's white, though.
[110] So Black is.
[111] I found the same guy.
[112] Ethan Black.
[113] He looks like some sort of track athlete.
[114] Ethan Black.
[115] He's white, though.
[116] He's white.
[117] Okay, so you're telling me Black is white, just to be clear.
[118] Yeah, because he's Ethan.
[119] There's a guy with an IMDB.
[120] who seems to be black, whose name is Ethan Hazard.
[121] He does seem to be black.
[122] But black is white?
[123] No, this Ethan.
[124] Black is white.
[125] Black is white.
[126] Hazard is black.
[127] Yeah.
[128] And the fastest guy in track is white?
[129] Ethan Black runs track, he's white.
[130] The fastest guy in track is black.
[131] He's white.
[132] No. No. Noah Liles.
[133] Black.
[134] But this guy is better.
[135] This white black guy is better.
[136] No, he didn't say it was black guy.
[137] saying he exists.
[138] Oh, he just exists.
[139] Yeah, he just exists.
[140] It wasn't ever presented through the prism of this guy's better than Noah Liles.
[141] I think it wouldn't be the first time you heard the name, Ethan Black, who is white.
[142] Who's on first?
[143] Ethan Black, a wide receiver for Penn State also.
[144] Same Ethan Black, the white guy who ran track.
[145] Yeah, it's the same dude.
[146] Same guy.
[147] Wow.
[148] I'm dipping.
[149] Yeah.
[150] Why does Tyreek Hill think that he would be faster than Noah Liles?
[151] Well, he's pretty fast for one.
[152] I know.
[153] At 50 yards, though, didn't.
[154] It looks like Micah Parsons won this race.
[155] But Tyreek seems to have done that thing where he got off to a bad start and then he, like, didn't try.
[156] Yeah, I don't think there is a world in which Micah Parsons is faster than Tyreek Hill, unless the race is, you know, two and a half yards.
[157] Yeah, look at this.
[158] Look at this.
[159] For those of you who are listening on the podcast, Mike's looking at my laptop.
[160] I am looking at the laptop.
[161] Oh, Tyreek's not.
[162] Oh, he just let up.
[163] He let up.
[164] Is anyone here willing to co -sign what Josh Hart said, which is I really wanted him to lose.
[165] of Noah Liles.
[166] Anyone in here willing to co -sign that?
[167] Were any of you so put off?
[168] All NBA fans that were passionate NBA fans, like a mean, gay voice to this and his shows with us, they seem to be in lockstep because of how Noah Liles started this whole feud by diminishing the achievements of an NBA world champion.
[169] And Noah Lyle's gone on the record and said, I don't know who Yokic is.
[170] So NBA fans were really reveling in his embarrassment.
[171] Well, let's enjoy some preseason football here, Stugats, because I know Caleb Williams didn't complete all of his passes.
[172] I'm not even sure he completed half of his passes, but he had a couple of the plays that got people excited because Chicago really is here after their best quarterback ever is either Jay Cutler or Sid Luckman.
[173] They are all in on the idea that they have their quarterback for the next five years.
[174] They've got value at quarterback.
[175] They've got someone they think can play right away who's on a rookie deal.
[176] and therefore they've got him a lot of skill position.
[177] Help, and they somehow are built to win right now.
[178] The Chicago Bears are, let's look at a couple of these plays involving Caleb Williams to God's and him moving around in the pocket and the arm strength.
[179] Wow.
[180] I love a flick, yeah.
[181] That's a good flick right there.
[182] I was loving that play so much, and then I saw on Twitter that Bryce Young last year for the Panthers did the exact same play.
[183] And I'm like, hmm, I guess it doesn't mean that much.
[184] It doesn't mean much of anything.
[185] at all.
[186] I saw John Kittina one time go 11 for 11 in a preseason game and thought that team was going to make the playoffs and they went 0 and 16.
[187] They had some injuries.
[188] They had a lot of injuries.
[189] Orlovsky ran through the back of the end zone for that team.
[190] Here's another Caleb Williams plays, Stu Gads.
[191] Well, he's clearly got the pocket presence there.
[192] That's something that's not up for dispute.
[193] And so he's moving around in the pocket the way you would want him to and then he just sort of runs into the end zone.
[194] That is stuff he was doing at USC to see it translate to the NFL to the professional level, to the preseason.
[195] Did you see Mahomes actually pulled off a behind the back pass in the game?
[196] Yeah, I mean, seriously, making a big deal.
[197] It was an eight -yard game.
[198] I mean, please.
[199] Do it in a real game.
[200] Do it in the Super Bowl, a big spot.
[201] You can do that when you're Patrick Mahomes.
[202] You've won three Super Bowls.
[203] You can just do that in a nonsense game, right?
[204] You just play around.
[205] It's the preseason.
[206] In watching some of the preseason, my main takeaway, just looking at Caleb Williams and just trying to analyze whether or not to have got new teeth, when do they stop this thing?
[207] It is awful.
[208] Preseason football is terrible.
[209] And I used to be like an advocate for preseason football because as like a Browns fan, I really like the opportunity to evaluate my guys because this was my only access to evaluate them.
[210] They do these scrimmages, televise those.
[211] This is dumb.
[212] Are they still charging their season ticket holders full price for this stuff?
[213] It's a bad TV product.
[214] What is the appeal for this stuff?
[215] You just said it, though.
[216] They're still charging full price.
[217] It's just an easy oil well that springs up.
[218] Because we're suckers and we're desperate in August for anything.
[219] Can you win an ESP in a preseason game?
[220] Like play of the year?
[221] It would just be funny if like the play of the year happened in a preseason game.
[222] Put it on the poll, Judeo at Lebitard show.
[223] Can you win an SB for something that happened in a preseason game?
[224] Everyone can throw a ball behind him back three yards.
[225] We'd never seen it before though.
[226] Like I'm, yeah, I hear you, but we've never seen a quarterback do that inning.
[227] I know it's preseason.
[228] We've never seen a quarterback do that while another team is trying to kill him.
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[241] Don Lebertard.
[242] You don't remember the idea for a home runoff?
[243] I was probably like, that kind of thing.
[244] Something?
[245] Okay, no, the home run call was that kind of swing, that kind of thing.
[246] Stugats.
[247] Oh, it's a good call.
[248] Thank you.
[249] And plus, it doesn't matter who's hitting it.
[250] Like, you're not tailing it to a particular name.
[251] You know, all that jazz.
[252] You know, you don't got to do that.
[253] You're just a generic call.
[254] That kind of swing, that kind of thing.
[255] This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats.
[256] This space that he occupies is unusual Stugats because I've told you before he comes up through the era.
[257] Saw a great documentary I enjoyed last night.
[258] It was executive produced by Monica Lewinsky about 15 minutes of shame.
[259] Just the shaming of people in a moment, how it lacks some nuance and what the social media generation is wrought, I didn't realize that Lewinsky was sort of ground zero for some of that stuff.
[260] He's coming up through an age where the easiest things are to be cruel, anonymously cruel, and everything out there exists to make jokes at the expense of.
[261] Largely, the internet is not a place that celebrates.
[262] The language around Patrick Mahomes, because I've told you, Stugust, the way coverage is these days, it's blame criticism, blame criticism.
[263] That's who's getting paid, who's on television, blaming and criticizing.
[264] So Tom Brady comes up through this time in social media and will not be allowed to be as great as Michael Jordan because he existed before this time, where we had this kind of access.
[265] The way that we talk about Mahomes, the breathless way that we talk about him, is objected to at every turn because of how breathless it is, even though what we're watching doesn't really have a precedent because I didn't think it was going to happen this quickly in my lifetime where I'd stop having the argument about whether I think Aaron Rogers is more physically gifted than Tom Brady.
[266] and someone comes in here, and I'm like, oh, yep, better than both of them.
[267] Better than both of them, even if you take away his number one wide receiver and the offense looks totally impotent, he's going to win a Super Bowl.
[268] Essentially, it's going to feel like on an offense that he's on by himself.
[269] You might be right.
[270] He may be better than both of them, but it is funny that Brady's the only one that beat him in a Super Bowl.
[271] I mean, at an advanced age, the only guy to take Mahomes down.
[272] But the way that we talk about him for the next few years is going to be interested because people object to when it is you're too breathless about people.
[273] It's one of the reasons LeBron's not going to be allowed to be Michael, Stugatz.
[274] We've been 15 years breathing on him on.
[275] Yeah, you're great, but are you as great as the greatest who've ever been great?
[276] Are you that great?
[277] And Mahomes, like, I think we'd all be willing to concede because of the start.
[278] No one gets to start that way.
[279] No one comes out of the box and just starts winning right away when you're still watching.
[280] And you're like, is he even in his prime yet?
[281] Like, have we arrived at the Patrick Mahomes prime?
[282] I mean, Brady did it.
[283] He did win.
[284] early.
[285] Some people don't get Brady credit for winning that Super Bowl.
[286] He threw one touchdown past that entire postseason run.
[287] He's not the reason they won that first Super Bowl.
[288] No, I understand that.
[289] But you're saying not many people do that.
[290] I'm just pointing out that Brady actually did it.
[291] Now you could say it was more to do with the team than it was with Tom Brady.
[292] I'm talking about the number.
[293] I'm talking about everyone gave that one to Belichick because it was the greatest upset in the history of the Super Bowl.
[294] The Patriots beat the Rams and nobody thought it was because of Brady.
[295] I will say this though with Mahomes.
[296] He does have a chance to do something by winning three straight Super Bowls that no one has ever done, including Tom Brady.
[297] And that's going to be interesting to see what the conversation is if Patrick Mahomes is able to do that to win three consecutive Super Bowls.
[298] This is what I'm asking both of you, okay?
[299] We're going to play this Tua interview for you at the end of the show today.
[300] And we've been talking for a couple of weeks.
[301] Well, that's an architectural problem.
[302] The Miami Dolphins, when they had the cheaper quarterback than Mahomes, couldn't win in that window against Mahomes.
[303] Now their quarterback is more expensive than Mahomes.
[304] And Mahomes, I'm asking the group, have we arrived at his prime yet?
[305] Yes or no?
[306] I would, I would, he's tough.
[307] Because most quarterbacks, you would say that about.
[308] And then you have the outlier of Tom Brady.
[309] And so when we see somebody all time great, the mind already goes like, well, Tom Brady did it.
[310] And he beat you in a Super Bowl when he was that age.
[311] So we just anticipate you being that way.
[312] Who's the same?
[313] Holmes takes care of his body the same way.
[314] It's difficult.
[315] But at any point in history, outside of Tom Brady, this would be considered his prime.
[316] He's 28.
[317] Has the prime shifted?
[318] Because Prime used to be like 27 to 32.
[319] And now I feel like with quarterbacks, it could be 32 to 37.
[320] I can't imagine he can be much better than he was in the postseason last year, when in the Super Bowl with that receiver help.
[321] He's definitely in his prime.
[322] And in football, when you win Super Bowls, you automatically get called great.
[323] Terry Bradshaw had a pretty ordinary career.
[324] If you look at his numbers, won four.
[325] And he won four.
[326] And that's why he's in the Hall of Fame, and that's why we still think of him as great, even though he wasn't that great.
[327] Look at his numbers.
[328] Mahomes, two in a row and now going for three in a row, that's immortal stuff.
[329] I want to stop you, though, when you say, and you just say, well, he's 28, that must be his prime.
[330] Are you arguing he's done improving?
[331] I think he can be this good for another five years.
[332] Are you arguing that he's done improving?
[333] Because the argument I was going to make about...
[334] I'm not.
[335] And that offense is, now you've been in the Andy Reid system with consistency forever.
[336] Your tight end can't hold up that way anymore.
[337] Your tight end is no longer in his prime, even though the results, the numbers suggest that he's still in his prime because he's had these four crazy years that put you in.
[338] in the gronk classification when no one belongs in the gronk classification.
[339] Yeah, I think he set a postseason record for receiving yards at that position.
[340] I think he did.
[341] I think Mahomes is only getting smarter and I don't think his physical traits have worn at the age of 28 either.
[342] So I imagine, yeah, coming just hours removed from him attempting and successfully attempting a behind the back pass in an NFL game, which was the right play, by the way.
[343] For that to be completion, it was the only way he was going to do it.
[344] I don't think he's done improving.
[345] A smarter player is a great way of phrasing it, Mike, because if there's a criticism of Mahomes game, it's the turnovers.
[346] He had 14 interceptions last year.
[347] So smarter.
[348] But that's just his offense.
[349] Yeah, but two seasons, so much more limited.
[350] But I expect those to go down as he gets older.
[351] I do.
[352] Two seasons ago, as that offense was adjusting to life without Tyreek Hill, teams were daring him to go deep.
[353] And they realized that this dude is a prideful quarterback.
[354] He is not going to go underneath if we keep giving him that.
[355] He corrected it in the season and then he could see some moments in the AFC championship game against Cincinnati where he reverted to some of the poor traits that he had throughout that season.
[356] I do think he's getting smarter.
[357] The physical part of it, because the feet problem is something that I would keep an eye on.
[358] I think the style of play that he plays is a little more physical than the average quarterback.
[359] He is a little more gunslinger or reckless than just about anybody in the league with a confidence.
[360] that doesn't wane.
[361] And I want to be fair to him, too.
[362] Like, I'm saying this is someone that's wearing nipple stickers, Dan.
[363] Like, he's not taking care of his body in ways.
[364] Like, he does get body shamed.
[365] Like, he's not taking care of his body yet in ways that stick out.
[366] But this is the reason that I'm objecting to any of you putting limits on what is his prime.
[367] I expect his next eight years to be better than his first eight years.
[368] I mean, he's only played six full seasons in the NFL.
[369] He's won three Super Bowls.
[370] I expect his next six years.
[371] years to be better than his last six years and the only thing that gets in the way is his body.
[372] Well, I shouldn't say the only thing.
[373] He's not going to have a weapon like Kelsey the construction around him also matters.
[374] I don't think it matters though.
[375] It does matter having the greatest tight end ever.
[376] Andy Reid matters.
[377] Andy Reid matters.
[378] Andy Reid might matter.
[379] They lost Tarek Hill.
[380] He's fine.
[381] Well, but they weren't fine.
[382] Stugats, do I need to remind you the things you were saying before last postseason?
[383] Because every...
[384] There's something off in Kansas City?
[385] Every round of the postseason, you doubted that.
[386] You doubted that team.
[387] It was two years ago.
[388] It was last year.
[389] We did all say those things, but they have one back -to -back Super Bowls during us saying all those things.
[390] How do none of your words matter?
[391] I don't know.
[392] How do you not remember any of the things that you've previously said in any of the places that you've said that?
[393] Statistically, he did have a down year last year.
[394] He won the Super Bowl.
[395] I wouldn't come off of last year and say, I guarantee his next six will be better based off of last year.
[396] I'm hour to hour, and you've got to keep up.
[397] All right, Chris, get for me some of Stugats' more famous takes because we have both of them there.
[398] We have last year's Kansas City stuff and we have what is one of the greatest takes in the history of this show when he chastised Andy Reed for benching Alex Smith in favor of the greatest quarterback to ever play the game who's won three Super Bowls as we argue whether his next six years are going to be better than his last six years.
[399] So should we do something we've never done in show history?
[400] Should Stugats be forbidden from talking about the Kansas City Chiefs?
[401] There have to be some consequence.
[402] There have to be some consequences to you being so spectacularly wrong that it renders all your future chief's opinions invalid.
[403] The consequences are you get to play it back in my face forever.
[404] I mean, but you've got to remember that you've had these takes before because you're sitting here saying no one's going to beat him when you spend every playoff round last year saying he was going to be beaten.
[405] You looked at one of the cameras, you waved your sausage fingers at it and you said, I want the smoke.
[406] I'm here to be the first to tell you Kansas City is not to be feared this postseason, and they were holding up the trophy again.
[407] This while you sit across from this Homer, who thinks he's still right, saying that the Dolphins are going to win the Super Bowl last year, even though they haven't won a playoff game in two years.
[408] You just said a take that I would dispute.
[409] For you to say that you think Mahomes' next six or eight years are going to be better than his first six, I think is almost ludicrous.
[410] Has to win four Super Bowls.
[411] Yeah, it's just not going to happen.
[412] I'm not doing it by Super Bowels.
[413] I'm just doing how much is he improving as a quarterback.
[414] I'm doing a bad way of doing it.
[415] The rest of the world is doing it by Super Bowl.
[416] Aaron Rogers won one Super Bowl, and I was arguing that he was more physically gifted than Tom Brady.
[417] I was arguing Aaron Rogers is the best I've ever seen play the position.
[418] But last year he had fewer yards, fewer touchdowns, more interceptions, and a lower QBR than he's ever had.
[419] So I don't know what based on last year would say that his next six are going to be better.
[420] And by the way, Aaron Rogers is going to be viewed as a career underachiever and overrated because he's only one.
[421] All right, but Super Bowls aren't the only measurement.
[422] I just want to get you on.
[423] I want to get this record from you, Billy, please.
[424] I want to get this on the record.
[425] You're just officially saying because you haven't taken a position, Mahomes passed his prime.
[426] No, I did not say that.
[427] I'm just saying based on last year, I don't know how you could say his next six years would be better.
[428] And then they said, were you going to base it on Super Bowls?
[429] You said no, but based on the stats.
[430] We're just trying to figure out what you're basing this take on.
[431] 28 to 34, what a quarterback becomes, ages 28 to 34.
[432] in the history of the league, every quarterback who's ever played the position before they die out in their late 30s.
[433] That's what I'm basing it on.
[434] Except for Tom Brady.
[435] Except for Tom Brady.
[436] Where and how quarterbacks age, this is the prime.
[437] 28 to 34 is the prime.
[438] It's not 20 to 26.
[439] It's just not.
[440] I mean, but other quarterbacks also don't have the weapons that he had to start his career, right?
[441] Like, you then start, the quarterback starts figuring it out and then you build a team around him where he had the superstar team right at the beginning.
[442] Caleb has it right now.
[443] You can say matter.
[444] factly.
[445] He, no, there hasn't been another wide receiver in the history of the game like Tyreek Hill.
[446] And you can say almost matter of factly, maybe Gronk in his prime, he was probably a better blocker than Kelsey, but he's never, there hasn't been another weapon at tight end like Travis Kelsey.
[447] So he's had like two all -time unicorns at their position.
[448] I think it's safe to assume that that's not the most easy thing to replicate.
[449] Well, he, I mean, just because of like how the salary cabin stuff works too, you could probably make the argument.
[450] He's not.
[451] He's not.
[452] He's not.
[453] He's not.
[454] I mean, I mean, just because of like, never going to play on a better team than he's already been on.
[455] That's a good argument.
[456] And he's also got a great coach who's not going to be around forever, maybe in another couple of years.
[457] It's not to say that he's not going to be good.
[458] He's just going to have different pieces to work with in a coach and teammates at a certain point.
[459] It's the only hope you have as a league is to articulate what it is that Billy is saying, that he's going to get hurt somewhere along the path, and he's going to be not the obstacle to everyone in the sport the same way that Brady and the Patriots were.
[460] And that someone challenges him, like C .J. Stroud, somebody.
[461] C .J. Shroud's an interesting one.
[462] It's just, we haven't really encountered a dynasty like this, and there are some things working against them, like with the Taylor Swift over -exposure thing, but typically we get tired, and they're villains by now.
[463] Kansas City hasn't become a villainous dynasty that everyone hates yet.
[464] I'm sure they have the rival.
[465] They tried to make themselves villains at the last Super Bowl, and it just wasn't really sticking.
[466] Like, they wanted to be the bad guys, and, like, at media night, they were acting as though they were villains, and, like, they weren't really, because.
[467] everybody was rooting for them.
[468] And they had probably a bigger fan base than the 49ers, in part because of Taylor Swift.
[469] But like, they're not villains yet.
[470] If they become villains because they keep winning, I don't think that's bad for football.
[471] I think it's good for football because then you always have that one thing that you're looking at.
[472] Like, are these going to be the people that take down the chiefs?
[473] The same way everyone was rooting against the Patriots.
[474] I'm not arguing it's going to be bad.
[475] I'm just arguing like it's usually, it's usually happened by now.
[476] And people generally like this dynasty more than other ones that prevent your teams from winning.
[477] They're likable, though.
[478] I think dynasties are good for sports.
[479] I also think the end of dynasties are good for sports.
[480] The Premier League just started.
[481] Man City being favored for a fifth straight championship, I don't think is necessarily good.
[482] I think if Arsenal wins, it's better for that league.
[483] I think if somebody challenges and dethrones the chiefs, that's better for that league.
[484] I just think it's a win -win for sports.
[485] You love the dynasty, the super team, and you love it when the new era starts.
[486] The Kelsey Point is not an irrelevant one, though, because it is a cheat.
[487] code.
[488] It is something that they've had to extend to drives on third down that is automatic even if it's, you know, 11 seconds left against Buffalo or 13 seconds left against Buffalo.
[489] It's always open.
[490] And if you look back at what Brady's number were without Grunk, you will see a difference than what they were with Grunk.
[491] And basically what Mahomes had is he had Tyree Kill and Kelsey, which is what Brady had when he had Randy Moss and, and, and, and, and the proliferation of those tight ends.
[492] We're doing it the wrong way.
[493] What those guys got was Patrick Mahomes.
[494] That's what happened.
[495] They got Patrick Mahomes.
[496] Andy Reed was a career loser.
[497] Couldn't win the big game.
[498] Travis Kelsey didn't win anything.
[499] Not a career loser.
[500] They didn't win anything until Mahomes got there.
[501] Travis Kelsey was arguably the best tight end in the league when Patrick Mahomes wasn't his quarterback.
[502] And Tyree Kill just got named the best player in the NFL by his peers, not playing now for quite a while without Patrick Mahomes.
[503] Those are unique special talents.
[504] But we're saying how lucky Patrick was to land in that spot, and he was.
[505] But they were also lucky to get Patrick.
[506] That's all of my opinion.
[507] All of your opinions are invalid because of this previous take, Stugat's forever forbidden from any more chiefs takes because this is the worst one ever given.
[508] Go ahead, Andy.
[509] I dare you to go 14 and 2 and allow Alex Smith to leave Arrowhead Stadium to leave Kansas City.
[510] Go ahead, I dare you.
[511] Because of Patrick Mahomes.
[512] Because you think you could turn Patrick Mahomes.
[513] to something that Alex Smith is not.
[514] Alex Smith is a very good quarterback.
[515] The audacity.
[516] First off, to do this to Alex Smith, who's been very good and loyal to Andy Reid and won him a lot of football games to dangle Patrick Mahomes out there because Andy Reid thinks he's some sort of quarterback whisper, which he's not.
[517] Oh, we had the appetizer last week, but now it's time to feast.
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[538] Don Libetard.
[539] Surely, every time you're watching this, you recognize that your wife is laughing, that she married, she married Larry David.
[540] I do, yeah.
[541] One of the great characters in the history of television, in my humble opinion.
[542] And to my credit, my personality.
[543] In my humble opinion, followed by, to my credit.
[544] To my credit.
[545] It's amazing.
[546] It's just amazing.
[547] It does predate curf your enthusiasm.
[548] Stugats.
[549] Oh, wow.
[550] I'm not going to say Larry David patterned himself after me. All right.
[551] Put it on the poll, please, Juju.
[552] Did Greg Cody?
[553] Copyright Being an asshole long before Larry David.
[554] This is the Dan Levitar show with the Stugats.
[555] Roy Wood Jr. is going to join us here momentarily.
[556] Stugats, you should have heard Stugats and Greg Cody conspiring during the break.
[557] Greg Cody offering up.
[558] And Stugats is very good at this as well, just naming podcasts.
[559] So Greg Cody offered that if he were Roy Wood Jr., what he would end up doing is doing a. show early on in the day and just calling it Morning Wood.
[560] Yeah, great idea.
[561] That is his idea to...
[562] Sure, he's never heard that one.
[563] He's never heard that before.
[564] I don't know if it's a great idea.
[565] You're welcome.
[566] It's an idea.
[567] Your last name is Wood.
[568] You do a podcast in the morning called Morning Wood.
[569] Yeah, that was that not a good idea?
[570] Okay, well, we'll ask him in a second.
[571] He is blowing up as he has been for years.
[572] He's been tapped to host.
[573] Have I got news for you?
[574] It's CNN's adaptation.
[575] of a comedy panel show that they've done in the U .K. for a while.
[576] Before we get to that, though, if you want comedy, here's a close -up look at Stugats' hot take face, as he tells you before last year's postseason, why it is that he did not fear the eventual Super Bowl champion Kansas City Chiefs.
[577] Everyone back off and give him a lot of room here because this is a master craft.
[578] This is a work of the highest order.
[579] He's a sculptor.
[580] Everyone out of the way.
[581] Dan, this time of year, everyone talks about teams.
[582] want to see come playoff time.
[583] I want to talk about a team that I actually want to see come playoff time.
[584] I want to see the Chiefs.
[585] I want Patrick Mahomes strolling into my stadium with max confidence.
[586] I want Travis Kelsey.
[587] I want Taylor Swift.
[588] I want the team that lost to Jordan Love.
[589] I want the team that lost to Aidan O 'Connell.
[590] I want the team that trailed 17th and nothing to Jake Browning.
[591] That is the team that I would like to face in the playoffs.
[592] That's the team indeed that I would want to face to the playoffs because that team is not very good.
[593] I have been saying for years there was something off in Kansas City.
[594] Last year, that take didn't go so well for me. They won the Super Bowl.
[595] This year, it's going very, very well.
[596] They are 10 and 6.
[597] They're down.
[598] The offense is not what it used to be.
[599] The defense doesn't travel well.
[600] They're good at home, not great on the road.
[601] I want.
[602] If I'm a playoff team, I don't want Flacko.
[603] I don't want Mike Tomlin.
[604] I don't want any of those teams.
[605] The teams that I want strolling into my stadium, Kansas City Chiefs.
[606] Shocking.
[607] Just simply shocking.
[608] I do.
[609] I'm being serious.
[610] I know.
[611] We all saw that you were being serious.
[612] I mean, something's off there.
[613] You have said this, and you have now said it publicly.
[614] Stugat's saying for two years that there's something off in Kansas City while they win both titles is just magical.
[615] Eventually, I'll get it right.
[616] I mean, something's off in Kansas City.
[617] Are you sure?
[618] Are you sure?
[619] They strolled into Buffalo.
[620] They strolled into Baltimore with that defense, the second youngest in the league, and they did fine.
[621] They strolled into everywhere.
[622] Yes, they did.
[623] The Democratic Convention is this week, and Roy Wood Jr., he's got shows this week in New York, Rhode Island, and Virginia.
[624] He's off to Jersey, Kentucky, Tennessee, Ohio, and more.
[625] You can get your tickets, Roywood Jr .com.
[626] Let's start here, because I know they talked about it some on Friday, but Nicholas Cage, this seems like, a weird, unless he's going to wear prosthetic fat suit, I don't know how he's going to play John Madden, but let's get to Frank Caliando here.
[627] 17 years before Roy hosted the White House Correspondence Dinner, Frank Caliando did John Madden in 2006.
[628] Let's listen to that sound.
[629] I love John Madden because he makes me feel smart.
[630] He tells you things you already know.
[631] He doesn't give you any new information to sits there with the NFL scoodle, drawn circles on guys' body parts.
[632] John Madden will say things like If the quarterback, if he throws the ball and the receiver, if he catches it in the end zone, that's going to, that's going to, that's going to bow, wow, well, yippe, yo, yippy, yippe, that's going to be a touchdown.
[633] I don't understand this one, Roy.
[634] Welcome to the show.
[635] But I don't see Nicholas Cage as John Madden, do you?
[636] With respect to Nicholas Cage in his catalog, I don't see it either.
[637] Cannot nail that voice any better than my man, Frank Caliando, who, mind you, worked on that voice for well over a decade and a half.
[638] I'm not saying Nicholas Cage can't act.
[639] I'm not saying he can't pull up Brendan Frazier, prosthetic chubsuit, whatever that.
[640] I don't remember the movie.
[641] You remember the movie.
[642] Brendan Frazier, it was like.
[643] The whale, yes, 600 pounds.
[644] Yeah, we don't even need to go 600, though.
[645] To be mad and what do you need?
[646] 3 .30?
[647] He's a husky, dude.
[648] Yeah, you've got to be thicker than Nicholas Cage is.
[649] think.
[650] Yeah, I guess so.
[651] I don't, I don't like it.
[652] But then, you know, I also thought that Christian Bail wouldn't be a good Batman and I was proven wrong.
[653] So maybe I'll just shut up.
[654] I have a loose question before we get into everything else, just off of Stu Guts.
[655] Is it me?
[656] And I say this with respect.
[657] Is it me or the Kansas City Chiefs, one of the most boring dynasties?
[658] Like, think about the documentary of everything we've seen.
[659] What would be the part of the documentary?
[660] Go, oh, I can't wait to see it.
[661] part.
[662] No, you're 100 % right.
[663] It is the most boring dynasty in the history of sports and the history of dynasties.
[664] I'm afraid it's coming to an M because something is off this year, Roy, in Kansas City.
[665] Here we go again.
[666] I don't think there's anything off.
[667] I just think Kansas City as a town, they close at 9 p .m. So you can't get into the same cocaine -fueled debauchery that you could in New York or plexico blurburs, shoot yourself in the leg.
[668] Like, you can't get into the Miami drummer.
[669] But it's like I like I like to.
[670] see teams dominate, but I kind of, you know, we need a couple of arrests.
[671] Somebody got to go to jail this year so they can rally around them, right?
[672] I mean, I think they've had some of that, right?
[673] They've had the coach's son as an assistant coach.
[674] That's not a player.
[675] That's not a player.
[676] It's close, but you can sweep that.
[677] You can go a little bit of Tyreek Hill if you want, if you want to find a little bit of drama, but then they got them out of there.
[678] That was pre -dynasty to be honest.
[679] So you need arrests.
[680] Taylor Swift isn't interesting enough to you.
[681] A high profile.
[682] The best quarterback is an interesting.
[683] No, you need arrests.
[684] If Kelsey cheated on Taylor Swift with a Chief's cheerleader, I think that's enough juice to get the Chiefs back in that proper driver's seat.
[685] You've got a good 12 and 5 squat right there rallying around that tight end.
[686] I mean, he's right, Dan.
[687] They went into Baltimore last year.
[688] They went 17 to 10.
[689] Boring.
[690] This is what you guys are doing as if the Patriots.
[691] So we need spy scandals.
[692] We need deflated footballs.
[693] This is what we need.
[694] Okay.
[695] That's what you need, man. What about Rushy Rice.
[696] Rashi Rice, drag racing.
[697] He's been arrested enough for everybody.
[698] There you go.
[699] It needs to be Kelsey or Mahomes, I think.
[700] Okay, so now it needs to be a star that gets arrested.
[701] Yes, the documentary.
[702] You want to see Rashi Rice?
[703] Is that who you want?
[704] You want him sitting down in the chair?
[705] That's all we got.
[706] All right.
[707] So Roy is not only an expert on the White House Correspondence dinner.
[708] He's also an expert at throwing out the first pitch.
[709] So I'm curious what your thoughts here are the Mets had the Hocktua girl, do the honors on the first pitch.
[710] They had the grimace thing.
[711] Are you somebody who is pro overt pandering here to the cultural phenomenons of the moment?
[712] No, you have to get people that people like.
[713] I just didn't know that the Mets would be the ones to get the Hoc -Tua girl the way the White Sox suck.
[714] I figured Hock -Tua would.
[715] Oh, wow.
[716] Okay, there you go.
[717] Yes, that would be.
[718] With respect to White Sox fans.
[719] I don't want any drama from you.
[720] Okay.
[721] I don't know.
[722] I'm trying to say disrespectful because I don't want to get you a terms and conditions.
[723] strike on all your streaming channels.
[724] I've never seen more, I've never seen one person get more exposure from pretending to be good at oral sex and we've like never seen any, like imagine a porn star who's porn you never saw.
[725] Do you understand how amazing of a magic trick that is?
[726] It is.
[727] It's for our time.
[728] She's getting appearance fees all over the point.
[729] They're hiring her for, get your money, ma 'am.
[730] Get your money.
[731] But this is an amazing grift in this country that you can be famous for I would here's how I would do it but I don't it's like it's like being famous off a sex tape but don't sex tape it is what it's like yeah we're doing morning wood I yeah we are doing morning wood we are doing how do you feel about the show idea morning wood Roy where you you come on in the morning I pitched it when I was on in Birmingham it was rejected unequivocally across the board I pitched it again when I did mornings in Atlanta, same game.
[732] We'll take it.
[733] As a Cubs fan, you must enjoy that the White Sox are this kind of bad and resorting to first pitches with the Hawk to a girl.
[734] I don't, you can't root for that type of pain.
[735] You can't.
[736] You can't root for a team to lose 20 games in a row.
[737] You want competitive losers.
[738] You want a nice tight division where from top to, from first to last, it's like an eight game separation.
[739] That's the kind of pain you want.
[740] wants to get called up from AAA to just lose and lose and lose and lose.
[741] It's just, it's not, it's unfortunate.
[742] It really is.
[743] I kind of want to see a little more losing, but it's still unfortunate.
[744] Now, that's the documentary you want to see.
[745] It's 20 days in Southside and just, just the misery of that.
[746] They're 30 and 95.
[747] They're on pace to break the all -time record of the 62 Mets viewed as the worst team in the hands.
[748] history of baseball.
[749] They won 42 times.
[750] The White Sox are actually on pace to be the worst ever.
[751] I don't, I don't know if, I don't know if they'll break the Mets record.
[752] And oddly enough, I still think the Mets will still be seen as the worst team just because Mets and the reputation of it all.
[753] And the Sox actually had, let's not forget, we're talking about a team that has a World Series title in this millennium.
[754] So let's be respectful.
[755] They know how to win.
[756] I hope they figure it out and get it back, but I don't know, man, because I think that when you root for a team to lose and they just keep losing and keep losing, and keep losing, that's just a depression, and you don't want that in the clubhouse, right?
[757] What do you do as the GM?
[758] You can't trade everybody.
[759] Clearly it wasn't Tim Anderson's fault.
[760] He's been vindicated.
[761] I think he'd get fired.
[762] I mean, I don't know.
[763] Has he got DFAed?
[764] Yeah, but he got out of there.
[765] He came to the Marlins, and he was terrible.
[766] And they traded everybody.
[767] You can trade everybody.
[768] we've done it multiple times is this is this your semi sure bet of the week i don't know how it's been doing but uh does do we have a semi sure bet of the week let's not let's not bring up the past dan let's not bring up past semi sure bets um i i i feel that a lot of your viewers have way too much confidence in me but yeah we're going to tie it in to the uh the dnc this week you guarantee semi sure bet here's the breakdown dan dating back 40 years anytime a president gives a speech at the Democratic National Convention, the White Sox win a game the next day.
[769] If the speech is under 25 minutes, you follow me so far.
[770] Yeah.
[771] A non -incumbent president who gives a speech at the DNC, the White Sox win the next day if the speech is under 25 minutes.
[772] This week in Chicago, you got Biden on Monday, you got Obama on Tuesday, you got Clinton on Wednesday.
[773] If all three of them speak for less than 25 minutes, apiece, Chicago White Sox, three -game winning street, guaranteed semi -sure better -to -week, brought you by Draft Kings, get everything you own on my words right now.
[774] No, don't do that.
[775] It's a semi -short bet.
[776] You've been told you have to stop doing that.
[777] You withdraw your children from college and take the tuition.
[778] This is an entertainment segment.
[779] This is not to be taken seriously.
[780] You can't do it that way.
[781] We love your astute political commentary.
[782] Trump has made $300 ,000 off the Trump -branded Bible that he holds upside down for 60 bucks apiece on his website.
[783] He's got supporters carrying around J .D. Vance branded sperm cups to make fun of people who can't conceive children.
[784] And he's also saying things like this.
[785] Because when Bobby Knight from Indiana endorses you, you win.
[786] Sort of like when I endorse you, you win too.
[787] I don't know.
[788] Somehow, would that be okay, North Carolina?
[789] I don't think so, right?
[790] They want me to speak all day.
[791] Okay, Bobby Knight died 10 months ago.
[792] That was Trump speaking in Pennsylvania, not basketball country in North Carolina.
[793] You ever have a favorite comedian and then you see him like later on in this career and you're like, damn, these are the same jokes that I used to love.
[794] And he hasn't written any new material at all.
[795] Like, why is he still talking about Obama?
[796] He's not the president.
[797] Like that part of it.
[798] What do you say also?
[799] I look better than Kamala, Washington.
[800] on the cover of Time magazine?
[801] What planet are we on?
[802] Can I have some policy points, please?
[803] It is amazing, Roy.
[804] I was not expecting that they would be this unprepared for a shift that would then all of a sudden make Trump look like the doddering out of touch old person.
[805] It's been startling to see that the Democratic Party did something that is clearly made for recycled Republican jokes because that it's not another move.
[806] I think the biggest miss that we've all made as Americans in the midst of Trump mania over the last eight to 12 years is that we could have all been making money off of weird merch.
[807] I could have made gold speakers and sold them under a dummy account, fake cash app payment under an alias.
[808] Giz cups?
[809] Do you know the, like when I saw people selling, smiling with the J. My brain immediately went into, okay, that is probably 25 cent per unit cost.
[810] If you order them at a rate of 10 ,000 per, you can probably get that cost down a 20 cent per sell those at $5 a pop at a show, and you could probably get a profit margin minus ship.
[811] And I start doing the math.
[812] I could have retired off of a sudden.
[813] Like, really, that's what y 'all would buy?
[814] There's still time.
[815] Like, I'm still thinking about some sort of, I don't know, stop the steel shirt or something.
[816] I'm going to come up with something, man. Roywood Jr .com is where you go if you want to buy the tickets.
[817] Congratulations on the new endeavor, by the way.
[818] When does it start?
[819] And what should the people know?
[820] Because you hosting a comedy panel is kind of what I was hoping would end up being you hosting the Daily Show.
[821] This seems like a decent alternative, though.
[822] Yeah, man. The Brits have a show called Have I Got News for You?
[823] It's been running 30 years over in England.
[824] And it's news panel.
[825] It's myself, four guests.
[826] And we break down all of the weird stuff that happened this week.
[827] We're doing an American remake because that's what we're doing America.
[828] We flip the brick stuff.
[829] Saturday, September 14th is the premiere at 9 p .m. Every Saturday, the entire fall, I'll be on CNN, Saturday night cracking jokes and being fun and silly.
[830] I will tell the people again, if you're in New York, Rhode Island, Virginia, Jersey, Kentucky, Tennessee, Ohio.
[831] This guy is putting out the freshest of things.
[832] Roywood Jr .com is where you go.
[833] Thank you, sir.
[834] Always a pleasure.
[835] Enjoy the week.
[836] Done deal.
[837] All right, y 'all.
[838] Greg Cody, you brought up something earlier today.
[839] You were talking about the pool noodle javelin challenge you were doing on the Greg Cody show featuring Greg Cody.
[840] And you were talking about the fact that the noodle has to be straight to look through it through the eyehole.
[841] Something else that you were doing out here in the other room while eating bacon by the shovel full.
[842] You were throwing it into your maw with your hands.
[843] Love bacon.
[844] You were saying that it was cooked properly.
[845] And Roy, you're the one around us who's actually a cook.
[846] He was alleging that bacon is not.
[847] not properly cooked if it is limp at all, that it has to be straight as a nail file, that it has to be cooked so fried and so crisp that it doesn't have any bend to it.
[848] Morning Wood.
[849] Absolutely.
[850] The best bacon is crispy bacon.
[851] Thank you.
[852] Thank you.
[853] The only nuance I would get to that is that bacon can stand straight like a nail file while also being chewy.
[854] If it's too crisp, it crunch, it disintegrates.
[855] I like it to have a little bit of chew in it while also being as straight as a nail file.
[856] I like the nail file analogy because a nail file is about the length of a good piece of bacon.
[857] I've never agreed with my dad more.
[858] Every single thing he said.
[859] I like the risk of like a shard cutting me open from the inside as I swallow it.
[860] So you like it super crisp.
[861] Oh, yeah.
[862] Oh, yeah.
[863] Crunchy.
[864] I usually get my pick of the litter when bacon's made because people don't like it and I'll go and I'll get the darkest, burntest, crisp beef.
[865] Whatever, bacon.
[866] They're in there.
[867] The opposite is inedible.
[868] I was at an unnamed breakfast restaurant just yesterday.
[869] No, Saturday.
[870] And the bacon was so undercooked, it was inedible.
[871] I had to send it back.
[872] That happened to me on a sandwich.
[873] I spit out the sandwich.
[874] I vowed to never order it again, and I've ordered it since many times.
[875] Sent back your bacon?
[876] I did.
[877] I did.
[878] It was like rubber, though.
[879] It was literally uncooked.
[880] You know, if I held that on the end, it was.
[881] would, you know, like, just all rubber, rubber band, it looked like.
[882] This is about when he starts petering out.
[883] Rubber.
[884] Words become hard for him.
[885] Thank you very much.
[886] Chris Cody, if you doubt his bacon credentials, check him out sitting on the middle of a sofa in the middle of the Tua interview.