#238 - Kevin Pereira

[0] DJ Brian does it again You silly bitch How dare you How dare you come up with new ways to be silly Ladies and gentlemen Kevin Pereira's here Brian are we for sure on the right channel Yeah, ladies and gentlemen We know for sure we're on the right channel That's sage shit scares the fuck out of me What just happened, run time error?

[1] Live Jasmine pop -up This new stuff that we got a hold of, this new Godpowder, this new Mother's Creation, it's a type of pot called Sativa.

[2] You know what that is, right?

[3] Kevin Pereira, don't you know a little bit about that?

[4] I've read a wiki or two.

[5] I bet you've been on the inner webs.

[6] It's called Sage, and it's the name of this one particular strain.

[7] It doesn't seem like pots should be different, that one should really have that much of a different impact on you.

[8] But some of them...

[9] Some of a man, you get a hold of me and go, okay, what's this?

[10] Yeah.

[11] What the hell is this?

[12] It's like when you, you know, you get tequila blackout a few times and someone introduces you to whiskey and you go, oh, this is supposed to be the same exact thing, but it's completely different.

[13] Yeah, how is that, man?

[14] Why is tequila different than whiskey?

[15] Is it because most people want to say that alcohol is just alcohol.

[16] And if you're drunk on wine, you're drunk on beer, it's all the same.

[17] Yeah, I don't.

[18] But it doesn't seem.

[19] to be that way.

[20] It doesn't.

[21] It doesn't at all.

[22] I mean, it's got to be because of the, I'm trying to think of the environment.

[23] Like, let's say, normally when you have tequila, I would say you're probably, you're probably in a shitty Mexican restaurant somewhere.

[24] There's a mariachi music in the background.

[25] Right.

[26] And all those senses combined give you a very different drunk feel.

[27] Right.

[28] Not true at all.

[29] I've had tequila in multiple settings.

[30] Yeah, but statistically.

[31] It's the same filthy vomiting blackout high for me. It's dangerous.

[32] Tequila is like, really.

[33] I can't drink it.

[34] There's something about, like, decision -making.

[35] Yeah.

[36] I, like, look at it and I go, like, this is going to be four days of hell.

[37] Yeah.

[38] Being drunk, man, what a fucking weird idea.

[39] To take humans and they voluntarily inject something into their system, swallow something that tastes awful, and all just to be free of themselves for a little bit.

[40] Yep.

[41] Just to be free.

[42] And the fact that that is the one that you and I can go easily and quickly and legally consume and then get behind like the wheel of a car and do all sorts of other tragic stuff that is just murderous and torturous to society and yet that is the one that is completely legal.

[43] It's so hilarious that our system is set up this way in this day and age.

[44] The days of the past when they could lie and but now that we have all the information the fact that it's set up like this is like you motherfucker.

[45] And the fact that I don't give I hate political polls, I hate polling I don't trust any of that shit.

[46] I never get called for him.

[47] I don't know anybody else that does, but apparently they're pulling the nation.

[48] But the majority of this country actually wants it to be decriminalized and legalized.

[49] And even with all the info and the political weight behind it, not going to happen anytime soon.

[50] Yeah.

[51] And what you were saying about polls, like, who the fuck is answering those polls?

[52] People who still answer their phones when they get a call on their landline.

[53] And they mute their QVC and take another Werther's original and take a poll.

[54] I mean, what the fuck is taking polls, really?

[55] polls are one of the most ridiculous things ever because all you're going to get is people that aren't busy and it's just people that have nothing to do do you ever take polls like you're on TMZ do you ever do the polls what what are the polls like is she hot is she not yeah oh no well those polls matter in this world those are the ones that matter no man I don't I don't go on any polls I'm not I'm not fucking filling anything out I don't I'm no interest no interest to ask be asked consumer questions.

[56] When I'm on the telephone and it pops up with a hey, press one if you're okay with a three to five minute survey at the end of this call.

[57] I go, yeah, I'll press one.

[58] Because in my head, somewhere a flag pops up on a computer and tells somebody that my call is going to lead to feedback.

[59] I don't actually take the survey, but I go out of my way to say, yeah, yeah, I'll take the survey.

[60] So you just become a random in the system.

[61] Probably.

[62] I'm a ghost in the machine somewhere.

[63] You're a number generator.

[64] You're just fucking with their numbers.

[65] pretty much for no reason you hacked their numbers you know when those cars are in the in the malls that like it says like sign up to win this car that's signing up to become on the worst spam mailing list ever you'll start getting phone calls and spam like your business card in the fish bowl at a restaurant or a fair like you're just giving away your info at that point you're saying please market I knew somebody that did that for a living and he says dude they just make so much money just collecting like hundreds and hundreds of people's complete, like, information addresses, everything.

[66] So what they do is you have to fill this shit out and then you put it in and it's worth it for them to give away a car to get all that information.

[67] Yeah, because by the time they get enough, they're selling your information and getting a lot of money and that car is nothing to the amount of money.

[68] It's worth thousands and thousands of people's information.

[69] So how do you think they do it?

[70] Do you think they go to like Volvo and make a deal?

[71] Do they say, hey, listen, we're going to give your car away?

[72] I think they go and they say, this $20 ,000 car or this $70 ,000 car is going to be an investment of X. We're going to get Y for their data.

[73] That's a done deal.

[74] They'll just buy the car and set up something like that.

[75] So you don't even think they do it through the car companies?

[76] No, I think they just buy it.

[77] They probably go to some sweet promotional discount.

[78] They probably get refurbished cars somehow.

[79] Yeah, but the car companies themselves will do that just to get collect data on people who are interested in that vehicle and willing to go out of their way to look at it.

[80] So they're doing it themselves.

[81] There's independent companies that are doing it.

[82] selling it to them.

[83] Right, but when you have like a Cadillac CTSV showcased in a mall and you can win that, I think, I got to think Cadillac is paying for that.

[84] No, no. In some cases, I bet.

[85] I bet some times, yeah, like if there's a new car that just came out and they're trying to draw attention to it, then they might work something about the mall.

[86] But if you go to most malls, it's just some random car sitting there and it's like, win a trip to Hawaii or something like that.

[87] But the pro tip is when you meet somebody you don't like in this life, when you're networking or at a business meeting or whatever.

[88] I like me. Pro tip in real life.

[89] A pro tip in life, man. It's a real life pro tip, bro.

[90] Okay.

[91] That's ain't wall hacking and battlefield.

[92] This shit's going to help you out in real life.

[93] Right.

[94] Okay.

[95] What is it?

[96] Take the business car to someone you absolutely hate when you're networking and just make sure you toss it in all those bowls at the malls.

[97] Do you do?

[98] No, no. Copies of it?

[99] Yes, absolutely.

[100] Spread their business card around everywhere.

[101] Why do you have a stack of my business cards?

[102] What?

[103] Just want people to know you're awesome.

[104] Yeah.

[105] I'm your number one fan, bro.

[106] Jesus Christ.

[107] Yeah, it's a weird thing that people want to collect that much data, isn't it?

[108] That's what's important, reaching the most amount of people, being able to sell them things, being able to convince them to sell you things.

[109] What the fuck do you think is going on in Nigeria that makes them so good at scamming?

[110] I mean, there's one place in Africa that's like really known for catching dudes, thinking that it's like a girl and like this, it's just a Nigerian man behind it that's like tricking this.

[111] Right, or the high priest of the land or whatever has millions of dollars tied up in a bank account.

[112] We just need $10 ,000 and a little info from you to get it out.

[113] Those kind of scams as well.

[114] I bet they have just like endless pictures of a woman.

[115] That's how they started.

[116] So they can, here's me here, here's me there.

[117] You know, you can just keep sending them.

[118] I love the people that fuck with the scammers back.

[119] Have you seen those sites?

[120] Yes.

[121] Yeah.

[122] Look, we would really love to give you a million dollars and we haven't.

[123] We're ready to do it.

[124] We just need you to get, completely replace your mouth with stalactites.

[125] If you could just get that operation done or put diamonds in all of your teeth and then record yourself singing the theme back to life or facts of life.

[126] They like make them go out of their way to do crazy shit to release the money.

[127] Yeah, oh yeah.

[128] Really?

[129] They'll sing songs that record videos.

[130] Someone had them shoot like promos wearing specific like t -shirts and stuff for his company.

[131] It's great.

[132] Scammer scammers.

[133] How many times have the scammers won, though?

[134] I mean, they must.

[135] Enough to make it worth doing time and time again and still do it in this day and age.

[136] How many think are doing it?

[137] Do you think it's like a real business in Nigeria?

[138] I would assume.

[139] so.

[140] I mean, if gold farming and Diablo can be an industry in China, you know, like, that was the, that game came out, and on the day it was released, there were bots and there were communities and there were sites.

[141] Explain to all the non -dorks exactly what you mean.

[142] So, uh, all right.

[143] So, uh, see, us folks, when we're busy not having sex, we figure out games to play, and Diablo is one of them, and you can buy, there's a real money and a virtual currency auction house in the game.

[144] So you can use that currency to buy new staves and swords and pieces of armor and flair, that'll give you poison resistances.

[145] It's really intricate shit, very important stuff.

[146] So you can use that gold to get it, but some gamers don't want to spend the time, or they just want to buy a brand new character so they can go kill the whatever boss, so they're willing to spend $10 of real world money.

[147] So someone needs to create a bank for that, and they create these systems where they farm for gold.

[148] And they do it in a bunch of games.

[149] They do in World of Warcraft, they do it in Diablo.

[150] Pretty much any game that has a currency online, there's a secondary marketplace where people are grinding through the game, doing repetitive things that are known to give you a lot of that currency so they can sell it back on the market.

[151] Whoa.

[152] And there's entire warehouses, cyber cafes, you name it, full operations where people are employed to just click, click, click through any given game to get virtual currency so they can sell it back to people that inflated slightly implated for...

[153] I watched a show where there was a couple that had a child and they were both addicted to some game.

[154] I remember what the game was.

[155] But it was one of the saddest things in the world to watch this couple, like argue a who has to watch the kid while they were playing their fucking game.

[156] Their children have died.

[157] Died, yeah, because parents neglected them playing Starcraft or World of Warcraft.

[158] It's so frightening.

[159] Yeah.

[160] Well, what they need to do is give the kid an iPad so they can farm along with Mommy and Daddy.

[161] That's wasted process cycle.

[162] Get that kid working.

[163] It's so bizarre, though.

[164] The pull is so strong that it's really like, it's just like a drug.

[165] You could call it a drug.

[166] Absolutely.

[167] The addictions to video games are very drug -like.

[168] Any addiction to anything.

[169] I mean, you can, people will find a way to be addicted to whatever it is they want to be addicted to.

[170] And it's just as bad, just as deadly, just as caustic as anything else.

[171] Isn't it funny?

[172] What a weird animal we are where we can get addicted to doing things.

[173] Not just like, not just sensations that are caused by drugs, but we can get addicted to doing things.

[174] Creatures a habit.

[175] Like, how much of your life is on autopilot?

[176] I mean, you lead a pretty diverse life where you're doing different things at different times.

[177] But the essentials of your life, like some people will tell you that 80 % of like a relationship.

[178] in life is autopilot, that you're really only living 20 % of any given, like, long -term relationship because you establish such patterns with yourself and with your job and with your loved ones that that shit's on autopilot.

[179] You're really only commanding 20 % at any given time when you decide to do something out of the norm.

[180] That was a stat that was told to me. And I kind of believe it.

[181] I don't know if 80 is right, but how much of your life is actually kind of on autopilot, if you think about it.

[182] Yeah.

[183] Well, I think for a lot of folks, it's the easiest way to get through the day too if you're doing uh the commute every day hour and a half to the office you know some people it's really an hour in the morning every morning just stuck stuck every day for an hour some people commute four to six hours a day come in from long island you ever see that that hall coming in from long island into manhattan holy shit i did that once at nine o 'clock in the morning i was like this can't be real there's no way this is real you make everybody stop no wonder why this sucks and the whole thing of total By the way.

[184] What a fuck.

[185] What a fuck tolls are.

[186] You've paid to have this bridge installed and now we're going to charge you every time you drive on it.

[187] Yeah, we pay off the bridge, but we kind of like you paying us every week and we're pretty sure you're just going to keep doing it.

[188] So, toll.

[189] And that's one of the reasons why Manhattan's traffic is so fucking brutal.

[190] Is you're paying tolls all over the place.

[191] Tolls to get in from Long Island.

[192] It's a toll from Jersey.

[193] There's this fucking tolls all over the place.

[194] To me, it's, there's fucking tolls all over the place.

[195] And it's just...

[196] They're like 10 bucks, right?

[197] Some of them, yeah.

[198] Some of them have like 10 bucks.

[199] Nine bucks, 10 bucks.

[200] To go over on my cunty bridge.

[201] Like, that is corruption at its finest.

[202] The bridge that you've paid for.

[203] It's already paid for.

[204] That's the thing.

[205] And you paid for it as well.

[206] Like, yes, it's already paid for it.

[207] But you paid for it half the time as a taxpayer.

[208] It's a great way to generate revenue.

[209] Right.

[210] Isn't that a funny way?

[211] I'm saying it should be okay to rip you off.

[212] Rip you off and fuck up traffic for everybody because we want more cunting money.

[213] And it's, I liken it to, the TSA.

[214] Like we paid, we've paid billions, if not trillions of dollars for this institution to erode our own freedoms, to grope us.

[215] We've paid for the privilege of longer lines and radiation.

[216] Yeah.

[217] That's insane.

[218] And now, I'm, well, they did a couple of pilot programs to like, it was basically like a fast lane through the TSA shit.

[219] But you had to sign up and some of them you had to pay.

[220] So we had to pay for the institution, which degrades us and slows us down.

[221] And we can pay extra to bypass it in a quicker way.

[222] Well, they need to find out that you're not a creep.

[223] That's their, their justification.

[224] Sure, that's the justification.

[225] Do a background check on you and go, well, Kevin Pereira, you've been in a federal penitentiary seven times for selling crystal meth.

[226] We want to make sure you have crystal meth in your underwear.

[227] You've got weird baggies that show up on our scans taped to your ball sack.

[228] You want to explain?

[229] Sir, first of all, those are feed.

[230] I eat through my asshole.

[231] It's like a horse.

[232] I feed it apples before every flight.

[233] I learned about it from Brian.

[234] Having, having, like, tape to your balls.

[235] There's no way you could say, wait a minute, where the fuck had that get there?

[236] Someone else packed this bag, sir.

[237] There's no fucking way that was there, man. I can't even believe this is real.

[238] What's going on, man?

[239] Did you guys do something to me?

[240] I always love that on cops when it's like we found this crack pipe in your glove box.

[241] I don't even know what that is.

[242] It's got your initials on it.

[243] Well, that's a coincidence.

[244] That's not even...

[245] Yeah, man. It's J .R. There's a lot of J .R. A whole lot of them.

[246] J .R. robbling.

[247] How do you say your name?

[248] That's the meth addict cousin of J .K. Rowling?

[249] Yeah, that one.

[250] Harry Potter didn't have any magic.

[251] She was just tripping on trucker meth.

[252] There's a big sign in Santa Monica Boulevard in Hollywood.

[253] I was driving down Santa Monica, and there's a huge billboard that says, do you have a problem with meth?

[254] And it just shows a guy, like a regular guy, just his face, like, oh, shit, I'm on meth.

[255] And I'm looking, I'm like, wow.

[256] how many people are on meth that they need to have a billboard here?

[257] And is that billboard going to help you?

[258] Well, that's what I mean.

[259] Like, if you're on meth, you're not going to look up and go, oh my God, I'm the billboard guy.

[260] I should really stop this.

[261] Do you have a problem with meth?

[262] Here, call this number.

[263] Call this a number.

[264] And then when I've got to do?

[265] I got to give you money.

[266] No, watching...

[267] You're going to get me off meth?

[268] Watching pieces of your own face fall off at like a public restroom mirror that's cracked, that smells like you're in.

[269] When you look at that and go, this meth thing's all right, but oh my God, I'm on a billboard now?

[270] I need to stop this.

[271] Does anybody do research before they do math and go, well, okay, it looks like this is super addictive and completely fucks your life up, but I do want to get high.

[272] Is there an erowid for meth?

[273] Is there like a first time and difficult experiences?

[274] I'm sure there is.

[275] Arrowwood is awesome.

[276] There's got to be a hot too bad.

[277] Org is awesome for any experience.

[278] They've had that, even that, whatever the fuck, the actual chemical is for bath salts.

[279] Yeah.

[280] What is it, an MDMA?

[281] But 2CB, I think, is...

[282] Well, there's so many of them that have been classified as bath salts or plant food that it's hard to narrow it down.

[283] Yeah, is that what it is?

[284] I was saying that the other day, but I wasn't sure.

[285] Is it there's a bunch of different chemicals and they can...

[286] It's not like it's one uniform.

[287] Not at all.

[288] We've all agreed to call this bath salts.

[289] Right, yeah.

[290] Anything that will cause somebody to eat somebody else's face is now a bath salt, even though it really wasn't.

[291] He said that it was pot.

[292] It was high on pot.

[293] How about the guy was mad munchies, man?

[294] The guy was fucking unstable.

[295] That's it.

[296] And that doesn't make for a flashy news report, but...

[297] Well, imagine if pot really did do that to him.

[298] That pot would be worth millions.

[299] If you're like, listen, I know that dude ate that dude's face, but I wouldn't do that.

[300] I want to know what that fucking Wolverine pot is like.

[301] You imagine a pot, I mean, maybe it would make a fucking idiot eat a guy's face.

[302] But I'm 100 % fucking sure that there's not a drug in the world that you could give me that would change my mind about eating a dude's face.

[303] face you know there's only so high that you can get and still be conscious like Jesus Christ you weak bitch you didn't fight off the urge at all you just decided to eat that guy's face but what if they but I mean there's drugs that could turn that guy's face into a candy bar or something that's equally more as delicious sure I think when candy bars start screaming don't eat my face it's me Mark they're not saying that they're saying it feels like you're hugging me with your tongue that's what they say when you're tripping out yeah screaming as you chew his eyeballs out I think you're silly it's a unicorn giggling like it's being tickled no way you could be so high that you would have been so high that I thought it was a molecule in the cushion of my own couch and I was swimming through my couch cushion.

[304] Yeah, I thought my hands were diamonds.

[305] Yeah, but that's because you were just closing your eyes and fantasizing.

[306] You weren't involved in a life or death struggle with a guy's face in your teeth.

[307] Right, but I also wasn't, you know, snorting bath salts or taking this crazy sativa, whatever.

[308] I said it was pot.

[309] Yeah, I don't know about that.

[310] Maybe you just got that pot.

[311] He just unstable.

[312] Well, bitch, if pot was legal, you wouldn't have that kind of pot.

[313] Nobody would want it.

[314] Arrowwood is, you know, did you, did you have you used Arrowwood to figure out something like you're going to take and how it's going to affect you or to do research on chemicals because it's the only reason I've ever tried anything in my life.

[315] Yeah, it's very well documented.

[316] Yeah, it's, I mean, there's so many different substances you could research there too.

[317] It's shit you would never even think of.

[318] Morning Glory seeds and, you know, San Pedro Cactus and, you know, how people have prepared it and I don't know how the fuck they get away with it, but it's amazing.

[319] It's amazing website.

[320] And even for documenting things that are still legal.

[321] I wonder if the owner of that website is just shit in bricks every day.

[322] Maybe lives in Holland or something.

[323] Maybe they live somewhere liberal where you can get away with more.

[324] It's just so, we're so gross how fucking stomp down we are here, especially in the idea of drugs.

[325] You know, the idea of you volunteering to do something to your body and that being a possibility, just that thought of you making that decision, it's a possibility of you getting caught in the process of it and locked in a cage for a long fucking time, depending on what different thing you decided you were going to and what color you are as well and what's your economic status it's really it's disgusting it's so systematic it's fucking it's disgusting it's embarrassing and you embarrassingly stupid in a world where you can go to CVS you have it's slave labor it's legalized slave labor and especially because the institutions are now privatized and it's such a big industry that lobbies like it's it's private it's slavery you go down that CVS or any drugstore and I shouldn't say that all any drugstore aisle that has one of those little mini supermarket type drugstores you know what I mean?

[326] Where they have like a little freezer section where they'll sell ice cream and things like that.

[327] And then they have an alcohol lane and it's a lane dude of hardcore shit and any one of those bottles who drank the whole thing, you're dead.

[328] You're dead you're dead, you're dead, you're dead, you're dead and people have done it.

[329] People have done it all the time.

[330] People die of alcohol poisoning all the time.

[331] It's not as many as people die from probably drunk driving accidents.

[332] I mean, that's probably...

[333] But it's still alcohol related.

[334] But it's still alcohol related.

[335] The death of just drinking yourself to death.

[336] That's super possible.

[337] You know, people do that all the time.

[338] Yeah.

[339] It's ridiculously easy to do.

[340] It's so crazy.

[341] You just go to a store and it's right there.

[342] And pot is illegal.

[343] But people are having these conversations.

[344] And maybe it's only because I'm choosing to dial into the kind of people that have these conversations.

[345] But like, how long is it going to take?

[346] How many people have to have conversations like this before there's actual change.

[347] People are crazy.

[348] There's so much money.

[349] There's a lot of people that don't believe in drugs, and yet they take like Xanax.

[350] Do you know people like that?

[351] Yeah, they'll take Sativex.

[352] They'll take the chemical version of a Sative drug, but they will not take the one that the government has told them is illegal.

[353] Yeah, I know a lady who takes Xanax and she won't let her husband smoke pot.

[354] She doesn't want her husband doing drugs in the house.

[355] This bitch is on Zanix every night.

[356] It's hilarious, man. It's hilarious.

[357] they just pop it.

[358] So do we need to lobby to have that become illegal as well?

[359] No. Deaths happen on that and because people abuse it?

[360] Nope.

[361] I think you should be able to take Xanax all day.

[362] Exactly.

[363] If you enjoy it, Don Marrera enjoys Xanax.

[364] He takes Xanax every day and he loves it.

[365] And I love Dom.

[366] And if that's what makes him happy.

[367] Better living through chemicals.

[368] Go for it, man. Keep giving them Xanax.

[369] I would never say that someone should not be able to do something.

[370] It's just the things that become obvious like meth.

[371] Does anybody have a good meth story?

[372] I mean, is anybody, you know, like, I didn't have my shit together, but fucking, I got on math, and let me tell you something, dude.

[373] I really looked at my whole world with clarity and purpose, and I threw out all the negative people in my life, and I started running every morning.

[374] No, man. No, it leads to you in your basement with chemicals, like bins of chemicals, and you're just fucking warm.

[375] You're mixing break fluid in a friend's bathtub.

[376] You're running outside coughing up blood.

[377] You got bloodshot eyes, and, you know, You're out of your mind.

[378] But if you happen across one of them billboards, you will turn your life around.

[379] You're trying to buy 1 ,500 boxes of cold serum in a row.

[380] Listen, I get really bad allergies.

[381] Listen, I'm going to need 400 boxes of Sudafed if that's cool.

[382] No, you don't look sketchy, dude.

[383] You bring your own brown box to CVS.

[384] Excuse me, sir.

[385] You're scratching your own neck off.

[386] Could you just be careful?

[387] There's a lot of neck under your fingernails.

[388] I mean, how many people in, like, rural Texas, where they're just making crazy meth labs, How many people have, in the past, like, walked into a drugstore and just pulling...

[389] Enough to where I have to show my ID if I want some Claritin, because I'm feeling a little stuffy.

[390] Enough people have done that.

[391] Isn't that I have to, like, prove that I'm not going to make meth with an over -the -counter product?

[392] You have to show your ID.

[393] Isn't that amazing?

[394] Isn't it amazing that that's the drug you hear about?

[395] Like, one of my wife's friends was talking about the small town where she lives in Seattle, and you go to this website where they like talk about the town you know like there's websites for every town like message boards what you think about this area all anyone says in any of these rural places is meth it'd be great if we didn't have so much fucking meth I mean there's meth all over the place you keep away from the meth people right like if you go into small areas like small shitty you know low income communities boom you got meth it's like it's cheapest easiest There you go.

[396] But it's amazing how bad it sucks.

[397] It's an epidemic.

[398] It's amazing how bad it sucks.

[399] Can you imagine if they focused all their time on just meth?

[400] Because there's no positive meth reasons.

[401] Instead of, like, fucking with all these marijuana people, just spend that resource to go just after math.

[402] Yeah, here's the difference.

[403] You ever watch a Cheech and Chong movie?

[404] Yeah.

[405] Of course you did, right?

[406] Now, have you ever watched an episode of Breaking Bad?

[407] Yeah.

[408] Now, in which show is someone more likely to get fucking shot in the face?

[409] Right, right.

[410] Breaking Bad.

[411] You deal with meth people, you deal with violence and craziness.

[412] Even better, then.

[413] If you show up at some, you know, pot place that's a dispensary, a cannabis care dispensary, and you come on, you know, guns blazing with bulletproof vass on, you know, you're not going to get fragged.

[414] Right.

[415] You know, you're going to trip over someone doing yoga and eating quinoa.

[416] Did you see that shit in Long Beach where the cops were stepping on the dude when he was down?

[417] Stepping on his neck when he was down and then busting the security camera?

[418] Yeah, yeah.

[419] Really?

[420] Like there's, like, you could make, I hate, there's.

[421] It's totally illegal, by the way.

[422] I like to believe we live in a society where, you know, like video was supposed to release everything and end every ounce of controversy.

[423] And look, there's proof.

[424] Here's the videotape.

[425] And all it has done is lead to arguments over context and how interpretation of those videos.

[426] I disagree.

[427] There has definitely been a lot of arguments, but God damn, it's fixed a lot of shit.

[428] It's brought a lot to light.

[429] And, you know, just like this, I totally get that.

[430] But it's, I'm just shocked at the amount of that analyzing that can go on when it gets in the way.

[431] Like some people were saying, well, look, the guy was probably trying to resist and pull back, which is why it looks like he is that's why he stepped on his neck he was just in the thing how do you justify breaking the security camera there's no justification for that whatsoever that young man wasn't resisting at all he didn't do anything and it was kind of creepy and I don't want to bring race into it but I have to when a white guy steps on the neck of a down black man that's like what first of you did it to my son I'd beat your ass right you fat fuck you're just stepping on some kid's neck for what because that's your job today that's nothing in your job description.

[432] You're a piece of shit.

[433] You're not threatened by this person any way, shape, or form.

[434] You might as well be walking into a fucking cigarette store.

[435] It's no different.

[436] You know, in that jackbooted thug behavior, there's no way that should ever be tolerated by any person who's a member of the police force because the police is supposed to be us.

[437] It shouldn't be us versus them.

[438] It shouldn't be, the cops should be thinking about their job is to protect their community.

[439] That's what it really should be, to observe the laws to protect their community.

[440] When they start doing shit like that, you're not protecting nothing, you fake piece of shit.

[441] You're just being a cunt.

[442] You're not in danger.

[443] You know that's not a criminal.

[444] That's some kid who's a volunteer.

[445] He wasn't even getting paid.

[446] He was trying to figure out how the business worked and, you know, he was getting out of college.

[447] Be fucking douchebags.

[448] Big food to his neck and a baton to the security camera.

[449] He stepped on him, man. He stepped on him when he was down, stepped on his back and then his neck.

[450] Just decided to step up.

[451] on him like he could do whatever the fuck he wanted to him he was his and then the then there there will be a there will be an equally as loud chorus saying that man was a working in a drug operation and he was clearly in a criminal and it's their job to to squash down those types I bet that fat guy didn't train I bet that guy that walked on that guy's neck and back never trained in his life I bet he's never been humbled in a gym I bet he's never had a tap out I bet he's never done rounds you fat fuck dummy yeah Or maybe he was picked on all his life, and that's why he decided to grab a badge and a belt.

[452] I mean...

[453] Could be.

[454] Probably not.

[455] Probably just didn't have a lot of options.

[456] It's so fucking stupid.

[457] It's so stupid.

[458] Such a gross thing.

[459] That guy should either, like, sincerely apologize and do something about it, or he should be fired.

[460] There's no way you should be a cop with that kind of attitude.

[461] And what's crazy, like, look, my brother's a cop.

[462] So I get a crazy amount of perspective from him on it, and, you know, and I like to believe he's one of the great ones, not a good one.

[463] like but there's no there's no justifying that there's no there's no making that situation in that video right there's just none i support cops 100 % i almost always do i think it's a really fucking hard job and i think they're under pressure all the time and they're asked to perform in these crazy situations and abide by the law when their own life is in danger because of their job their own life is in danger i'm a big supporter of cops but i think two things first of all i think they don't get paid enough i think it should be a much more difficult job be get it should be a prestigious job we should respect them they should be an honored part of our community we should we should look at them like what they are though they're heroes that's what they should be but instead they're not paid enough they're treated like shit they're they're treated like shit in the media they treated like shit by people and so they develop an attitude and us versus them attitude and you know it's just an unfortunate part of psychology teachers develop that attitude as well there's a lot of teachers out there that started with no noble aspirations until they realized what $35 ,000 a year actually pays for.

[464] After a while, they get angry.

[465] They get bummed out about it.

[466] I think there should be positions in our society that are revered, and being a police officer is one of them, and being a teacher is also one of them, you know?

[467] You can be hippie all you want, man, but guess what?

[468] Everybody doesn't play by the fucking rules, and you need cops.

[469] You need cops, and you need guns, period.

[470] There's no way you're going to keep bad people out of the system unless you have cops they should be an honored respected part of our society so when they see something like this they should fucking do something about it's right it shouldn't be instead of that thin blue line cover up you're suspended with pay and we're going to review and it's bullshit they should be outraged they should be more outraged about it than we're it's a cunt it's a cunt move maybe you had a shit day maybe the kid said something to him stupid but you shouldn't do that man shouldn't do especially because you shouldn't be there anybody who's going to rate a dispensary should be forced to smoke a joint first just because we tell you if you're nice and stoned You're not going to step on a dude's neck.

[471] You're going to be like...

[472] That's a great line.

[473] Guys, you shouldn't be here.

[474] Oh, that's so true.

[475] Right?

[476] It's so wrong.

[477] It's such an easy caller, too.

[478] It's really embarrassing.

[479] And most of the cops guarantee you, they're not wanting to do this.

[480] No. This is upper management, whoever the fuck is in charge of making these decisions.

[481] It's numbers, man. It's all numbers.

[482] Numbers, numbers, numbers.

[483] Get your arrests up.

[484] Get your quota up.

[485] Make sure people are going to jail because we built more jails and we need to fill the jails.

[486] It's all numbers.

[487] It's incredible that we try to call ourselves a free country.

[488] how dare we yeah I mean look fucking subjected we're free enough to be able to say this in a room at this time on the internet like we got that amount of freedom that's really it I think yeah we can't you can't have a free country that makes as much money as we do you really can't because the only way you can make as much money as we do as a whole as a country is like you gotta fucking dominate all the parts of the world that have all the good shit and if you don't get the good shit from them you know like how are you going to how are you going to run things you gotta run things man we gotta have a lot of fucking fossil fuels we gotta have a lot it's almost like you can't be like really cool and run a country like america it's like it would never happen if everybody no one wants to hang out with the cool guy they want hang with the guy who has a lithium if they want to make some batteries subjected to anybody to any any you know any negativity at all there was none of the none of the negativity associated with our law enforcement none of the negativity that you saw in that video none of the negativity when it comes deciding with alcohol over you know natural drugs none of that if you took away all that then you know i got to be honest i my my asshole post puckered so tight as those police sirens were coming by they started crying i was like fuck they zeroed in on our IP address and i'm going to have to stand up and ask if i'm being detained and then i'm going to get maced and fuck i feel like getting a speed ticket is going to turn into an occupy protest for me every time i hear a siren it's like tragic it gets worse right yeah and it should have gotten better yeah we should we should should have figured out a way to make it better.

[489] But instead, with the age of information, it seems like the tightening down.

[490] It's like becoming more and more absurd.

[491] Just wait until there's UAVs flying into this room information with a camera in your face.

[492] Just letting them know that they're listening because you've triggered the key word.

[493] Sativa.

[494] Hello.

[495] That's all weird.

[496] It's going to happen.

[497] Florida has already made commitments to putting drones everywhere.

[498] I think there's, and I'm blanking on the gentleman, there's a senator who's trying to get legislation passed to make it illegal for drones to be used to surveil citizens without a warrant.

[499] Oh, my God.

[500] And that is exactly the kind of protections we need to go for.

[501] Yeah, but you really, they're going to have stealth drones.

[502] They're going to have bugs.

[503] They're going to have fake bugs everywhere.

[504] Well, if they certainly got them now, like if you believe in smart dust, you could have stepped in something that relayed your location in certain keywords.

[505] Ken, is it possible to run an empire and do it while being nice?

[506] You're doing it.

[507] Is it possible?

[508] You're doing it.

[509] You don't want to screw the.

[510] Well, on it is a supplement company.

[511] It's a simple.

[512] It's way more simple.

[513] Right now.

[514] And in five years, it's the empire.

[515] It'll be called.

[516] cult.

[517] I'm signing up.

[518] Cult of on it.

[519] You're down.

[520] I'm on it, bro.

[521] Get on it, yeah.

[522] Is it possible to run America and be like, and not have jackbooted thugs, raid dispensaries, and not have privatized prisons, and not have ridiculous checkpoints and, you know, and is it possible to do that?

[523] Yeah, I don't, I think it is.

[524] I mean, I think you can still manipulate markets the way that they do, and I think you can still allow them that.

[525] I think, yeah, like, I think you can do that, but still, yeah, but, but, Unless enough freedom to where I don't have to have my balls, you know, fondle to fly to Vegas, or not go through a police checkpoint, or let me smoke my pot.

[526] Like, you can, you can manipulate.

[527] The whole Libre scandal, that is beyond me right now.

[528] What is that?

[529] The London Interbank offering rate.

[530] It's like, it dwarfs our little scandal that we had here in, you know, what, 2008, 2006.

[531] What is their scandal?

[532] So their scandal is, it's a little tangential to the notion of running the country, but, so their scandal essentially boils down to Barclays was the biggest, they have all these emails and stuff.

[533] They, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the.

[534] the interbank offering rate is the percentage at which banks will lend each other money, lend each other money, right?

[535] And it's, there's trillions of dollars in the market that is indexed against that rate.

[536] Your home loan is probably indexed against it at some point, right?

[537] Tons of markets trade on it.

[538] And to get that number, the banks call two guys, and they report, yeah, we're lending money at 4 .3 today.

[539] Great.

[540] All the banks call in, and there's like an index of 20 of those numbers that are averaged out from all the banks.

[541] And what they did is they manipulated that rate.

[542] They colluded.

[543] They called each other.

[544] They would email each other.

[545] say, we need the LIBOR index number to go up by like a quarter of a percentage point.

[546] So they would all report numbers that were lower or higher than what they were lending money to each other on.

[547] It's convoluted, I know.

[548] But what it would do is that in a day, they could bet against the rate, the LIBOR number going up or going down.

[549] So they could place bets on that, manipulate it themselves, and in a day make millions upon millions of dollars just by manipulating this.

[550] And with every manipulation, your mortgage might go up.

[551] Your credit score could go down.

[552] Like, it could affect so many things internationally.

[553] Wow.

[554] And it's been for years...

[555] How long did they do this for?

[556] It's been...

[557] There's emails that show that it's been going on for like 12 to 15 years, but there's some people that are saying it might have been going on in the early 90s.

[558] And it was a total honor system reporting this number.

[559] There's no transparency, so all these banks got together and said...

[560] So it's like they just decided we're all going to stay rich.

[561] Yeah.

[562] Yeah.

[563] We're going to artificially inflate and deflate this number to manipulate the market to fuck with you, but it's going to give us millions and millions and millions of dollars.

[564] And that's what they've been doing for years.

[565] That's awesome.

[566] open and yet, I mean, Barclay's got a slap on the wrist, like a $100 million fine or $300 million fine.

[567] It's nothing in comparison to what they made.

[568] That's the problem with punishments of these crimes.

[569] You talk about that poor guy in that dispensary is probably going to go to jail for six months, right, and get his next stepped on.

[570] These guys pay $300 million for making potentially trillions of dollars over the course of 15 years, and no one does any jail time or anything.

[571] Whenever there's big money, man, there's big craziness.

[572] Now, you know about this...

[573] No money, more problems.

[574] Dr. Drew situation where Dr. Drew became a part of an investigation because they, who was it that a, wait, Dr. Drew, Dr. Drew?

[575] Pharmaceutical settlement.

[576] What was the giant pharmaceutical settlement that just happened?

[577] It was several billion dollars.

[578] Was it Yasmin?

[579] Whatever, whatever it was.

[580] Dr. Drew apparently was involved.

[581] Dr. Drew was recommending certain drugs that they were asking him to recommend.

[582] They gave him $200 ,000, $279 ,000, allegedly, somewhere in that.

[583] that range crazy they do that to most doctors anyways people doctors are incentivized to sell certain drugs over other drugs pharmaceutical companies do that all the time or send them on retreats yeah but when you're a guy who's on tv like recommending treatments and stuff and you're you're getting paid to recommend those treatments i like wow that's a crazy blurry area because it seems to me like they paid you to say some things you might not have said but yeah he's going to say i wouldn't have said it if i didn't believe in the product and i you know i didn't believe in any that that money did not affect my opinion whatsoever.

[584] It didn't sway me one way.

[585] But that's tragic because I want to believe.

[586] Like, Dr. Drew was one of those guys that he's not supposed to have any scandal.

[587] He was supposed to be the one good guy.

[588] Right?

[589] He was supposed to be the good guy.

[590] As long as his penis works, man, it's very unlikely that he keeps it together.

[591] He's a good guy, man. He really is.

[592] I've loved him.

[593] Every time I've met him, I've like, I want to believe you're real.

[594] I want to believe in your magic.

[595] Don't be David Blaine on me. Well, his stance on marijuana has always been pretty silly.

[596] Yeah.

[597] We talked about it.

[598] so much yesterday that we can't really go in we had Tommy Chong on the podcast yesterday so of course there was massive amounts of weed talk sure I have a question Joe when he was talking about heroin did you think in your head wow that's really good detail you know like it's like we said he didn't do it it was really odd yeah but Tommy Chong or Dr. Drew Tommy Tomi Chong I saw Dr. Drew tying off in a bathroom imagine if Dr. Drew said listen I shouldn't be talking shit about these drugs until I do them all so it just goes on a show and that's his, no, Dr. Drew gets high and see if Dr. Drew is the same guy after a month of ayahuasca, iBulgain, eating pot brownies, mushrooms.

[599] Dr. Drew's third eye.

[600] Yeah, every five days, Dr. Drew would go on a cleansing ritual and eat nothing but fruit.

[601] So much better than like supersized me. For 30 days, DMT and kale.

[602] Good luck, Dr. Drew.

[603] We'll see you on the other side.

[604] Every five days he does a new trip and we do a whole season of this.

[605] And in between, he's doing yoga.

[606] He's eating really healthy.

[607] It's a $2 CPM right there.

[608] That fucking show would be awesome.

[609] Did you imagine if you could get Dr. Drew to do all non -lethal psychedelic drugs if he agreed to it?

[610] And he has to do it with the Octum.

[611] Oh, now you fucked up the show, man. That's Sweeps Week.

[612] I don't want to see the Octum on acid.

[613] Can you imagine the Octum like examining her life?

[614] Did you guys watch her porn?

[615] Did she had such a nice tight pussy?

[616] It was really.

[617] I didn't watch it.

[618] I had no desire to.

[619] She either got it really thick.

[620] You know?

[621] I don't think the babies came out that way.

[622] Yeah, but didn't she have like a ton of other kids already?

[623] So none of her kids, I guess.

[624] That whole thing just makes me incredibly sad.

[625] Like, I'll watch tentacle train rape from Japan.

[626] No problem.

[627] But I don't want to see the Octumum's vagina.

[628] Well, tentacle train rape ain't real.

[629] You know.

[630] And the octa...

[631] That's like telling me Santa's not real.

[632] Fuck you.

[633] Well, I mean, it is real.

[634] That's real and that background casting couch is real as well.

[635] All that shit's real.

[636] When I say it's real, it's not real, rather.

[637] I mean, it's magic.

[638] But it's real.

[639] I mean, it exists.

[640] Thank you.

[641] Thank you.

[642] If you imagine if that really became something you really wanted to actually be next to, like if there was a real giant octopus thing that could fuck women and you would watch the whole thing?

[643] I would purposely go to Shibuya and take the Yamanote line in the hopes that I would see that tenicle monster.

[644] Yep.

[645] While these school girls line up on a bridge hoping the octopus chooses them.

[646] Weeping softly with pixelated genitals.

[647] Imagine there was a spot in the world where there was an octopus.

[648] and it had like a hand of dildos, and it would just pick people up and fuck them in front of everybody.

[649] Turns out that's what the Lochness monster really is.

[650] Just a bunch of dick arms under the sea, and anybody that happens to be snorkeling on by.

[651] Picks up Japanese, checks and fingerpags on the front of everybody.

[652] I mean, that's, look, there's...

[653] That sounds like a Japanese amusement park.

[654] It's no stranger than, like, lampreys that cling to the bottom of sharks and, you know, eat the particles of food that they leave behind.

[655] You see the video of the clam today that was surrounded by salt and was using its clammy innards to move around a table?

[656] And it looks like a human tongue coming out of the in between.

[657] Can you pull that up?

[658] Do you have that?

[659] It's so bizarre looking.

[660] And that's apparently how they navigate.

[661] They don't have eyes or nose or anything.

[662] So they use their tongue to sort of navigate around.

[663] And then we boil them.

[664] We steam those bitches.

[665] Yeah.

[666] Garlic on them.

[667] It's delicious.

[668] So good.

[669] Linguine clams.

[670] How great is it to be on the top of the food chain?

[671] It's pretty goddamn good.

[672] That's why I like that show, Mountain Men.

[673] reminds me that we're on the top.

[674] All right, just waiting for this commercial.

[675] You ever see that at that show?

[676] No. History Channel.

[677] What's Mountain Man?

[678] It's my new favorite show.

[679] Like Bearded Prospector types?

[680] Yeah, three different dudes living in the mountains.

[681] One dude lives in Alaska.

[682] Leaves his family, goes on a bush plane, flies three hours to his traps, and he runs his traps for three months, just kills.

[683] Yes.

[684] Kills little animals and comes back.

[685] I want to see the Mountain Man wrestle this guy.

[686] Oh, this is the clam.

[687] Yeah, wait to you see this madness.

[688] They put the salt out so that it would.

[689] move along the salt some some people have said yeah that's what it's doing uh yeah this ain't real you don't think this is real oh i want to believe in this so bad i don't think it's real to me as i'm not i like it in the way it's moving around around the uh if your fleshlight did this you'd be all about it i'm not buying this look at that i don't know why i'm not what do you think it's a viral for internet explorer 10 like who's doing is it is it uh who would do a viral i think this is the octaum is it this is a video it is.

[690] So clams, they don't have to be in the water.

[691] They don't have to, like, No, they do.

[692] They have to be in salt water.

[693] They have to breathe it?

[694] I mean, this, this clam is dying a slow death.

[695] You're watching, you're watching its last minutes.

[696] How long do you think it takes me to die?

[697] By the way, clam snuff porn is a viable internet fetish.

[698] Yeah, it's pretty hot.

[699] Maybe it's real.

[700] Maybe it's real.

[701] It seemed fake to me. Does anybody own snuffy clams.

[702] Did the, I don't, maybe, maybe it is real.

[703] The salt on the table looks pretty real.

[704] Like, like, The way it licked it up, the movement was good.

[705] There wasn't a lot of pixelation around the opening of the clam, which is a telltale.

[706] It just seemed fake.

[707] But what?

[708] And if that is fake, bravo.

[709] I love it.

[710] Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[711] Isn't that crazy now how you can look at, the video has gotten so good and so easily edited that you can look at anything and go, that's probably fake.

[712] They're getting really close with Game of Thrones with animals.

[713] That's the first time like wolves look like real wolves.

[714] Because they usually look so fake it like blows the whole thing, you know, the fake animal.

[715] I can only dream wolves if I'm watching Game of Thrones because I fall asleep the moment that show comes on Really cannot do it?

[716] Why?

[717] I don't know.

[718] I just tried it was all like I got all excited I put it on I was like here we go You need to go to a doctor I've heard that from many people though I heard you just have to get through it Oh you guys are crazy but check this out I got hooked the first episode Joe look at this is gonna freak you out If you guys haven't seen black mirror that's what you guys need to watch okay is it look at this guy freak you out This is a clam oh wow oh that's real yeah that's clam you parkour right there.

[719] It's a clam moving around.

[720] You get a ton to push around the, what a shit life clams are.

[721] Clams must have been really cunty in the last life.

[722] Who knows?

[723] Maybe that clam is fucking loving life right now.

[724] That's what we used to call like really cunty girls in Boston.

[725] It was tough to call chick's cunt back then.

[726] Cun had a lot more power back then.

[727] If you called the chick a cunt back in 1980, you were ready to fight.

[728] Yeah.

[729] You had to go to war.

[730] So they weren't cunts.

[731] They were clams.

[732] You know, it's like whenever a girl was really, because I grew up in New England.

[733] So whenever a girl was really shitty, like, oh, Oh, she's a fucking clam.

[734] It was always a clam.

[735] And just like you think, if you were a clam in this life and you came back as a clam, you need to some shithead.

[736] Because you guys decided to start calling them that too, which is great.

[737] I mean, like Hitler, if Hitler came back as a clam, you know, like you don't even deserve to be a person.

[738] But we also say happy as a clam.

[739] So maybe they're really loving it.

[740] No, they just have a big wide, stupid face.

[741] So it looks like they're smiling.

[742] When they open up, it looks like they're smiling.

[743] Is that it?

[744] Yeah, that's what it is.

[745] That's not nearly as exciting.

[746] I like to believe that that clam is on a permanent trip.

[747] right now maybe they are you know maybe they they don't come until you eat them let's let's go crazy that's the only way to get a clam off is to kill it the best thing for them is to be eaten that's when they're truly happy until that happens they just they try to find you the only way they can give their love is if you eat them so your clam bake your clam bake is one wild orgy you have no idea it's a mad come session it's boo clamming especially especially oysters they don't come and until you eat them.

[748] You got to chew them and eat them.

[749] That's what they live for.

[750] I don't do oysters.

[751] I can't do oysters.

[752] What?

[753] I don't like the taste.

[754] You just said two pussy things in a row.

[755] What was the last time you've done squats?

[756] When was the last time guys got an arguments in a bar of, bro, you don't like oysters?

[757] Have you laid off?

[758] I should rearrange your face.

[759] You laid off the power exercises since I've seen you.

[760] Have you backed off your cleans or anything?

[761] I'm completely out of the gym.

[762] Rehabing with neon pink weights that are like three pound nylon weights at the gym.

[763] That's sexy.

[764] Just fucked my shoulder up, hardcore.

[765] Yeah, Kevin apparently got some dude to go a little bit, you go a little too crazy.

[766] I went.

[767] I wouldn't.

[768] I got it.

[769] It was crazy.

[770] I put on 12 pounds in three and a half, four and a half weeks of like really, like really dedicated supplements and everything.

[771] But just destroyed my entire body over the course of that.

[772] Well, you have to take it slow.

[773] If you haven't been lifting your whole life, then all of a sudden you're, you know, you're doing fucking dead lifts and squats and everything like that.

[774] You got to build up to stuff like that.

[775] And were you doing them always with a trainer?

[776] Like with someone, always showing you how to do it.

[777] Make sure your posture was right.

[778] The majority of the time, yes, but my problem was that I would convince myself that even if I was collapsing and passing out, clearly I wasn't trying hard enough.

[779] Like, I could squat more or do more.

[780] So I got in my own head about it.

[781] All that effort would have been so better spent like in jiu -jitsu or something.

[782] No, realize that now.

[783] I'm trying to get better so I can actually get into something that's more of a martial art. What is wrong with you physically?

[784] Just hurt my shoulder, like completely fucked it up and just tweaked it.

[785] They didn't do the MRI.

[786] They did the X -ray and said that was good enough.

[787] And I tried to explain.

[788] I don't think you can see what you need to see on it, but doing the rehab, I've gotten better.

[789] Like, I was just cleared to go back to the gym, but it's been a long fucking process.

[790] You would just clear to be able to work out again?

[791] Do you have no more pain?

[792] No, I mean, I have, well, at that low weight, high rep, I'm pretty okay now.

[793] There's an awesome shoulder exercise called a club bell, and it's not a heavy weight exercise.

[794] I use 15 -pound club bells.

[795] I use them.

[796] Yeah.

[797] And, you know, I've been doing them for a while, and there's a lot of great exercises you can do with a 15 -pack, because it's a really weird offset thing.

[798] Like, there's dudes.

[799] that use like 45 pounders they're fucking savages these like giant wrestler dudes who can do them with these huge ones I can't fuck with those but 15 pounds believe it or not seems like a lot of tiny amount of weight but is it explosive like over the head kind of thing or is it still on the scapular plane you're doing like these things called shield casting and all it is is like controlled movements of the shoulder and it strengthens your joint it's very good for shoulders I feel like if I did that with a fishing weight right now I'd be okay but anything anything above like a watch battery I'm going to destroy my shoulder just because it's that.

[800] It's still that sensitive to overhead movements.

[801] It sucks.

[802] It sucks.

[803] Still that sensitive?

[804] You need to get an MRI, man. You might have had, what is that guy doing?

[805] Is that some, is that what you're talking about?

[806] That's something along those lines, but there's something about the background that screams great.

[807] That guy is warming up before he holds a woman against her will.

[808] That's all that is.

[809] It looks like a worker at L .A .X. When he goes home at night, you know, like when that guy's that flags in plane.

[810] Yeah, he's a business is good times.

[811] This is one that I do.

[812] That's one of the clubbell exercises that I do.

[813] See those bells behind him, or the clubs behind him?

[814] Yeah.

[815] Those big ones are, that's like strong man type shit.

[816] That's like stuff that like, you know, like, you know, like one of those Indian, have you ever seen like famous Indian wrestling?

[817] Like India is known like for developing like really powerful men and wrestlers.

[818] Really?

[819] Back in the day.

[820] I've only seen like the lady boys that do the pole dancing that run up the large wooden pole and do that stuff.

[821] I wouldn't say they were lady boys, man. I think that's pretty cool.

[822] They're fucking ripped.

[823] I wouldn't say that to their face, Joe, but to you, I will.

[824] They look like lady boys.

[825] I remember I went to Cirque to Soleil and I've never felt more like a bitch.

[826] I mean, I work for the UFC, but no one in the UFC has a build like these fucking guys.

[827] When you see dudes doing like a handstand holding another dude up in the air with one hand, you're like, wait a minute, get the fuck out of here.

[828] While 500 ,000 gallons of water pour on them from the ceiling and there's lights in their eyes and they're just holding a stoic pose.

[829] And it's their third show that night.

[830] They're so strong.

[831] Insane.

[832] I mean, they must be.

[833] all on roids.

[834] There's no way.

[835] There's no way you can do that and not I'll be just juice.

[836] You think so?

[837] You think like Cirque de Soleil is juicing pretty hardcore.

[838] You imagine?

[839] Like I, you know what?

[840] I need drug testing and Cirque de Soleil.

[841] I don't want to watch some juice heads holding each other up.

[842] I want to know.

[843] It's disingenuous to the sport of acrobatic dancing.

[844] It's the whole thing.

[845] It's wrong.

[846] It's not supposed to be about steroids.

[847] And it's not fair.

[848] You and I want to compete on that level with them.

[849] We want to be circ dancers, but we don't want to have to juice.

[850] That's not fair.

[851] I mean, you have to hold a lot of dudes over your head to get built like those guys.

[852] I'm not saying they juice, because you can get that big without juicing.

[853] I had a friend who was a total natural bodybuilder, and he was a fucking huge, and you would swear that this guy did steroids.

[854] He never did anything.

[855] It's 100 % natural, just obsessed and worked out like a maniac, and was enormous.

[856] But it is possible.

[857] Sure.

[858] It is just really hard to do.

[859] It's super hard to do.

[860] So most people assume, especially for certain body types, certain body types, it's impossible you know like extreme ectomorphs you ever met like really thin people with incredibly thin faces yeah thin hands yeah those folks have an really hard time putting on weight and most of us are combinations of an ectomorph and endomorph you know it's a little bit of and you know a little bit of mesomorph sure we're a slight combination but people who are extreme ectomorce like man those people are that's a tough it's tough to try to get strong yeah yeah yeah i don't know i feel like I wonder how much genetics plays into my own ability to go down that path, you know, like...

[861] Well, for sure you went too hard, too quick.

[862] Well, clearly.

[863] Yeah, clearly.

[864] I mean, I realized that this was completely my error.

[865] But I wonder dedicated doing it properly how much change you can actually see.

[866] Oh, you can do a lot of change.

[867] You got to just got to be healthy.

[868] You got to make sure you get a lot of sleep.

[869] You got to make sure you do the power exercises.

[870] But you've got to make sure before you do any of that, then you build a base.

[871] Right.

[872] Like, people that have never worked out before.

[873] 10 years of playing Quake World competitively.

[874] Capture the flag.

[875] I thought that was enough of a base to get into the gym and go into Beast mode, but it wasn't.

[876] Quake 1, Capture the Flag.

[877] I used to set up, I used to set up a tub, I don't know if I told you this before.

[878] I used to set up a tub of margarine next to my keyboard.

[879] I would get a loaf of fresh French bread on the way home, and then it would get instant mashed potatoes with gravy and put that bowl next to it.

[880] And so I would be playing Team Fortress or, you know, Wolfenstein or Doom, whatever.

[881] I would sit down, play, click, click, click, break off bread, dip it in the margarine, and then dip that in the mashed potatoes and gravy and eat that.

[882] And that was my dinner for weeks on end.

[883] Oh, my God.

[884] You ruined your body just doing that.

[885] Oh, man, beef cake.

[886] Beah cake.

[887] Years, years and years of that shit.

[888] Did you notice a difference in your body from that, from eating that?

[889] Well, I mean, no, there was no different, there was nothing to compare it to because I was always a chubby kid, you know, like I was constantly eating and interneting.

[890] That was my life.

[891] So now I have something to compare it to, you know.

[892] So now I want to swing it in that other direction, which is.

[893] So when you started to work out, Did you just immediately dive into it for a blast?

[894] Oh, fuck, yeah.

[895] I got, it was, I was probably about 20, 21 years old when I was like, I need to change this.

[896] I had lost a little bit of weight, but I was like, I need to change this.

[897] And so off of like three Google searches, I created the ultimate, the ultimate workout regimen, which was nothing but a small piece of chicken and white rice for, you know, three times a day, and running, you know, two to three miles in the morning and two to three miles at night every single day for about six weeks.

[898] And lost a shit ton of weight, got dangerously thin, developed a body image, disorder, killed my knees from running, running, running.

[899] Did you have, did you keep saying to girls, you think I'm fat, don't you?

[900] What, no, I would say that to, like, guys in chat rooms, mostly.

[901] I'm like, no, would you fuck me, IRL, really?

[902] So what, IRL, LOL?

[903] L -O -L.

[904] What is the, by the way, cut the shit with the L -O -Ls when you're not really L -O -Ling.

[905] Yeah.

[906] Yeah, but it's kind of like a, no parking L -O -L.

[907] No, but it's become a throwaway.

[908] It's become, okay, that was amusing L -O -L, but I go with a, ha.

[909] yeah like a ha needs to be the l -o -l like if you're really laughing out loud fucking mean it yes this is my this is my podium i'm sorry i don't hate to make this show a platform so you put together this this god -awful routine so you look just from youtube clips and from yeah it was just like googling like you know literally like how to get in shape how to lose weight and i know the best thing is folks if you really want to join don't even join a gym okay you really want to work out make yourself work out at home make yourself because if you really want to work out you will fucking work out at home.

[910] Make yourself work out at home for one month.

[911] And if after one month you're still doing it, then waste your money on the gym.

[912] Yep.

[913] Because how many people join a fucking gym and then just never go?

[914] And if you join and try to quit, they make it the most impossible process.

[915] It's like trying to quit the army.

[916] Go fuck yourself.

[917] You are locked for life.

[918] A month to month.

[919] Well, you got to talk to Pat, the supervisor, who gives you a form to fill out, to mail to some place to get a confirmation.

[920] Well, how about the creepiness where they actually, like, they take the money out of your account every month?

[921] Like, wait a bit.

[922] What?

[923] Yeah, I usually cancel my gym membership when my credit card expires.

[924] That's what just happened to me in LA Fitness.

[925] I was like, ah, it's got like six months left.

[926] I'll let it run out.

[927] It's going to be quite a week's worth of work to cancel it.

[928] I'll just let it go.

[929] But if you have a wall in your house, you can get a workout.

[930] You got a door, you got a gym.

[931] Yeah, well, for real, if you have a wall, because I would say, if it's the only thing you need is you need to be able to prop your feet up on something so you can do handstand pushups, everything else you can do on the ground you do pushups in the ground you can do tricep extensions you could do like like a form of dips with a chair you know if you don't have a chair go fuck yourself do do pyramid pushups there's chairs in the world you can find a bench if you can hear this podcast you can find a wall and a bench out in the world just body weight squats one of the biggest exercises I do we've talked about it a bunch of times it's Hindu squats I do 200 of them when I do my my strength and conditioning workout it's fucking brutal man it's like I'm in pretty good shape I do Jiu -jitsu on a regular basis, kickbox on a regular basis.

[932] I stay in shape.

[933] I keep working out.

[934] These 200 fucking body weight squads kick my ass, like almost nothing.

[935] It's like, because the first one is easy.

[936] The second one is easy.

[937] You hit 10, no problem.

[938] 20, I'm feeling it a little, but I can see the finish line.

[939] And then once you get around 100, you're like, holy fuck.

[940] Where your knees are buckling and shaking like a seismic earthquake on the way down because your muscles can't do it.

[941] You've got a hundred to go.

[942] You've got a hundred to go.

[943] But it's an incredible workout for your legs.

[944] My legs have never been stronger.

[945] I feel like I'm on springs all the time.

[946] Like when I do my kickboxing workouts, I have much more power in my legs.

[947] My ability to move, it seems like I can move easier, like get away from things.

[948] It's like, it's the real way to strengthen your legs.

[949] The real way is not really like lifting giant shit over and over again.

[950] That's put so much pressure on your back and your joints.

[951] The real way to strengthen your legs is body weights.

[952] squats.

[953] It's crazy how good that shit works.

[954] You're still like if you really want to get big squats really do work.

[955] Anything where you really load up on heavy weights and the deadlifts and stuff because even though body weight squats will strengthen your legs and make your legs a little bit bigger, you're never going to get those ridiculous power lifter thighs.

[956] There was a moment where I thought oh that's what I want to go for or that's you know that's power lifter?

[957] Yeah like the power lifting physique and regimen because training and short bursts like that was really easy for me. Like I liked that notion of just give it all for five reps and you're done kind of of thing.

[958] Right.

[959] But now I realize I just need to be confident enough to leap over a puddle on the way out of my car.

[960] Like I don't have enough command of my body that I like, I play frisbee and I'm like, I'm probably going to roll my ankle.

[961] I got to be careful now, guys.

[962] Like, it's that bad.

[963] I went golfing and my elbow hurt.

[964] Like, oh no. Yeah, just, you know, you don't need to.

[965] Well, just for maintenance alone, I think it's, it's so important to work out just to keep everything moving and not atrophying.

[966] Because you see certain people get to a certain age and, like, you look at them and then you look at some Jacqueline.

[967] lane type character that just kept working out when he was at same age look how much more mobility he had like it's almost like you're investing in making sure your car works because like if your car doesn't work you're fucking stranded well if your body starts to shit out when you're 40 or 50 or whatever you that's that a lot of that can be avoided and the way it can be avoided is to make sure you keep it up keep it working keep lifting weights keep going to the gym keep eating right keep working your cardio just that's you have to do it it's not it's not an option like for too many people, it's like, I'd like to get to the gym, but gosh, some of the time, you shouldn't even be living your life with that in consideration.

[968] It should be a staple.

[969] It should be a staple along with it.

[970] I mean, you want to be healthy?

[971] You mean, you should be able to do whatever the fuck you want to do.

[972] But if you want to be healthy, you got to have your body healthy.

[973] I really believe that.

[974] Yeah.

[975] I just, I don't see how you can have like real happiness with an imbalance body.

[976] A body that's fucking up on you.

[977] Wholeheartedly agree.

[978] I mean, I think the key in life for everything is just balance, right?

[979] That's all it is.

[980] So your physical being, it's with you every day.

[981] It's your vehicle.

[982] It's your vessel.

[983] So how can you be balanced work and home life or whatever if you're not balancing the physical portion of your being?

[984] And even if it's just going on hikes, man. Just go on a hike.

[985] You don't have to go to a gym.

[986] I used to go hiking when I lived in Colorado, man. Fucking hikes will kick your ass, man. Especially at altitude.

[987] You know, you're walking up the side of the hill.

[988] That's a real workout.

[989] It's a nice cardiovascular workout.

[990] You feel good when it's over.

[991] Your body's designed to do it.

[992] From years and years and years of programming.

[993] You're hungrier.

[994] Some dudes love cutting wood, man. I remember George Foreman was the first fighter that I ever saw that we would cut wood as a part of his workouts.

[995] Because back then when people were lifting weights, it's like a lot of fighters didn't lift weights back then.

[996] And like, especially like in the 1980s, like nobody ever really lifted weights.

[997] When Mike Tyson came along, Mike Tyson had a crazy physique.

[998] But what most people don't know, it was all chin -ups and push -ups.

[999] And he was just a thick dude, a thick dude who was in, you know, impeccable condition.

[1000] And he really wasn't like a big weightlifter.

[1001] But then Avander Holyfield came along.

[1002] And then Van der Holyfield was the first guy that showed that there's benefits to lifting weights.

[1003] Because all those guys before then, they were all trained in, you know, they would do like a bodybuilding workout.

[1004] Then they'd go to the gym and they couldn't move their arms because they were sore.

[1005] Right.

[1006] And they'd get beat up.

[1007] So the trainer would tell them, well, hey, bad, that fucking weight lifting slowed you down.

[1008] Slowed you down, rock.

[1009] And that's not what it is.

[1010] As the guy's sore, you know, it's going to make you faster for sure.

[1011] Sure.

[1012] We know that now.

[1013] We know that...

[1014] If you're used to throwing an extra hundred pounds with that arm, when you're not throwing it, you're going to go a little faster.

[1015] It's going to hit a little harder.

[1016] But the olden days, man. But splitting wood, that's a brilliant.

[1017] I see the CrossFit stuff where they're pushing tractor tires up hills.

[1018] That's their entire workout.

[1019] He used to pull trucks.

[1020] He would pull a, rather a Jeep.

[1021] He would have a Jeep behind him.

[1022] He would push it and pull it.

[1023] He'd strap himself to a thing.

[1024] And nobody else was doing that back then.

[1025] When George Farmer was doing that, he was doing crazy shit.

[1026] separating the fat from the meat when you grill it that's the kind of crazy shit forming was up to do that I don't even know the grill well I know his grill yeah I'm saying I don't think he used that but I'm saying that's how a genius he is man that dude made a ton of money off of my god way more than getting punched in the face that man made a lot more money off of a plastic dorm you know like chicken and steak cooker he was an amazing amazing human being what he accomplished was very rare when he was 36 years old after like he got beat up by Muhammad Ali in Africa and it was the most humiliating defeat it just he wasn't the same after that and he fought I think he fought Ron Lyle is that we fought after that if I can take a step back was he expected to win at all oh he was yes they thought it was this is fight the fight was such a one -sided mismatch in most people's eyes that hunter S thompson flew to Africa and didn't go to the fight instead he took acid and wore a Nixon mask and swam around the pool and it was a huge disaster for hunter's career because he was supposed to turn this story into Rolling Stone.

[1027] wound up beating George Foreman, and he wasn't even there.

[1028] Right, he's tripping in the shallow end.

[1029] He missed the entire fight.

[1030] So Ali just ran a clank on him.

[1031] And it wasn't it like you could say, hey man, can you guys give me a USB drive so I could actually watch the fight and do my job and tell the story?

[1032] He couldn't even do that.

[1033] There was nothing.

[1034] So Hunter had, it was a huge failure because he was a Muhammad Ali fan, and he didn't want to watch Muhammad Ali get destroyed.

[1035] Even Muhammad Ali fans didn't want to watch that fight because Ali was in the twilight of his career.

[1036] He had taken those three years off and really was never the same guy again.

[1037] He was never the same as when he was before they took the title away from him.

[1038] When he came back, he became more of a guy would stand in front of you and take punches until you got tired than beat, you know, rope -a -dope strategy, which he used on Foreman.

[1039] And after Frazier had dropped him and Frazier beat him in the first fight to sort of unify the title, after that, most people thought that Muhammad Ali was just not quite as good as he used to be and sort of a step down.

[1040] and he was slowly starting to fade away.

[1041] So George Foreman beat the fucking shit out of Joe Frazier.

[1042] I mean, it was a brutal chaos.

[1043] It was one of those brutal chaos where he hit Foreman, or Foreman rather hit Frazier and picked him up in the air with his punch.

[1044] He did like a little skip.

[1045] The super punchout star appears above his head.

[1046] Brian, pull it up because it's so weird.

[1047] Pull up Foreman versus Frazier, KO.

[1048] It's, oh, another runtime error?

[1049] Yeah.

[1050] No problem.

[1051] Fun time.

[1052] Hey, don't worry about it.

[1053] It says the power's off, Brian.

[1054] Is this power thing?

[1055] Uh -oh.

[1056] This podcast is brought to you by technology.

[1057] There it goes.

[1058] All right, it's charging now.

[1059] Anyway, he hit Frazier, and he hit him so fucking hard.

[1060] Is this the whole fight or just the K -O?

[1061] Oh, the wolves are beating the pistons.

[1062] That sucks.

[1063] This was 1969, son.

[1064] Yeah, you got to watch how hard Foreman hits him.

[1065] And Joe Frazier, by the way, tagged Foreman a bunch of times.

[1066] Joe Frazier's a bad motherfucker.

[1067] It's weird watching these guys, isn't it?

[1068] Yeah, he needs to take him to the ground.

[1069] He's losing the stand -up game.

[1070] Frazier has such a crazy style that's bobbing and weaving and winging punches, you know?

[1071] All I can think of is the damage that's done with each.

[1072] little tap to the brain over the years and years and years of it.

[1073] Here's when Foreman starts landing on him.

[1074] Look how hard he hits.

[1075] He hits so hard.

[1076] He hits you and just changes everything.

[1077] He would, like, throw his whole body into it.

[1078] There's so much power in his punches.

[1079] And he was a good boxer, too, a surprisingly good boxer.

[1080] Like, the reason why, like, he was able to land those punches.

[1081] He was very unorthodox in the way he would box.

[1082] He was, like, push guys off a lot.

[1083] See how he's doing that?

[1084] Just pawned him back.

[1085] He was pushing him off.

[1086] Get away from me. Don't get inside.

[1087] And then he would plot at you with a jab.

[1088] But then when he knew that you were going to be there, that's when he would wing the big ones.

[1089] Like right there.

[1090] Yeah.

[1091] See, most of them are short punches.

[1092] Like his jab is a nice short jab.

[1093] There's the uppercut.

[1094] Oof.

[1095] But watch when he gets up.

[1096] Foreman had ridiculous power, man. Watch how hard he hits him when he gets up.

[1097] Brian can you?

[1098] He's literally going to go in the air.

[1099] Watch this shit.

[1100] Ooh.

[1101] Look at this.

[1102] I saw him go for it right there.

[1103] Oh, my God.

[1104] Oh.

[1105] He's winging punches at him.

[1106] Nice jab, too.

[1107] There's that uppercut.

[1108] Just throwing the whole body behind it.

[1109] Yeah, that jab is a fucking fence post.

[1110] Oh, they went right to the body, too.

[1111] It's like getting telephone pulled in the face.

[1112] And that was his big weapon as he got older, too.

[1113] Just slowly but surely's just chipping away at Joe Frazier.

[1114] It's like car accident.

[1115] Really?

[1116] His beating is so smart.

[1117] But the way he's boxing is so smart.

[1118] Just keeping him off of the jab.

[1119] I just see memories.

[1120] Avoiding the hooks.

[1121] And look, there's a shot.

[1122] Oh, my God, that uppercut was.

[1123] bad and there's boom look at that run oh jesus there went his first bike ride oh there went his first date oh my god there went his ability to control his bowels that uppercut was incredible they're gonna keep this fight going they didn't give a fuck in the 70s did you want to get up son put up your dukes that's amazing now watch this oh oh that's it there we go now continues dude are you kidding me I mean, how hard does that guy hit?

[1124] Go to sleep, sweet prince.

[1125] So coming out of this fight, everybody thought, you know what, this guy is going to kill him.

[1126] Right.

[1127] He's going to kill Ali.

[1128] Like, what did he do to Frasier?

[1129] He did that to Joe Frazier.

[1130] What is that, one round or two rounds?

[1131] He has the first round.

[1132] I think it's the first round.

[1133] So if he did that to Frasier, what the fuck is he going to do to Ollie?

[1134] He stands in front of guys.

[1135] He takes shots.

[1136] He's got this rope -a -dope style.

[1137] And he's three years coming back.

[1138] Okay.

[1139] He roped up the fuck out of George Foreman.

[1140] Did you ever see the stoppage?

[1141] Oh, pull that up too.

[1142] Pull up Ali K .O.'s Foreman, because it was beautiful.

[1143] It was one of the greatest moments in the history of sports.

[1144] Nobody thought he was going to win.

[1145] Nobody thought he's going to win.

[1146] He goes to Africa.

[1147] He's dancing and yelling.

[1148] He's got the whole crowd going, Ah, Ali, Bumba, yeah.

[1149] Tell him, like, Ali kill him.

[1150] The whole crowd is saying, Ali, kill him.

[1151] Jesus.

[1152] He's got everybody convinced that George Foreman is a fake, and he's with the white man. He just fucking, he just, he tortured him.

[1153] He tortured him.

[1154] And then when he got into the ring, man, He just fucking boxed him up, boxed him up, moved around, tired him out.

[1155] And when he finally got him tired, he connected.

[1156] Tadom!

[1157] Hit him with the right hand and put Forman away.

[1158] And it was crazy.

[1159] Nobody believed it.

[1160] Nobody believed it.

[1161] People were going nuts.

[1162] People in America were fucking screaming and jumping in the streets because he, Foreman represented something really scary.

[1163] This big, crazy black dude who walked around with German Shepherds.

[1164] This is the K .O. Was that it right there?

[1165] Yeah, pull it back so you can see it.

[1166] So for eight rounds, he beat the shit up.

[1167] of Muhammad Ali, dude, for eight rounds.

[1168] This is the end of the fight.

[1169] It looks like he's just winging arms out there.

[1170] There's don't look clean, and then...

[1171] Look at this.

[1172] There's the distance.

[1173] Boom!

[1174] Look at that.

[1175] Come on.

[1176] I love that music, too.

[1177] That's fantastic.

[1178] Bruce Blitz, well done.

[1179] Is that from Ali's documentary?

[1180] No. When we were kings?

[1181] This is a Bruce Blitz creation, according to the Watermark on the YouTube video.

[1182] Yeah.

[1183] Oh, Bruce Blitz creation.

[1184] Thanks, Bruce Blitz.

[1185] credits you fucking savage so that's why everybody was going crazy they they didn't expect him yeah it was uh it was the beginning of the end of honor s thompson's literary career he started kind of falling apart after that and became crazier and crazier unfortunately and you said that that was the that was sort of the beginning of the end for foreman as well yeah yeah that was when foreman had one more fight after that and i think he fought ron lyell i think that's who he fought but they had this crazy back and forth fucking crazy war and uh he got knocked down a couple of times and just wasn't the same George Foreman, like Ali took it from him, so then he retired.

[1186] And then he became this priest, and he, you know, became a preacher and found God's word and he got fat as fuck.

[1187] And then at 36 years of age, I think he'd been out of fighting for 10 years.

[1188] I think that's how long he'd been out.

[1189] He just decides 300 plus pounds, fat as fuck, decides he's going to make a comeback.

[1190] And I remember reading about it and being a boxing fan going, wow, he's going to make a comeback.

[1191] That's crazy.

[1192] Yeah, good luck.

[1193] That's all I was thinking.

[1194] Good luck.

[1195] Come on, George.

[1196] George Foreman in the modern era.

[1197] He's a giant fat guy.

[1198] And then all of a sudden he just kept losing weight.

[1199] And he kept beating people.

[1200] And then he got to Jerry Coat, not Jerry Coetcia, Jerry Cooney.

[1201] He got to Jerry Cooney and beat the fucking shit out of Jerry Cooney.

[1202] Pull that up, Brian.

[1203] Pull George Foreman, K .O.'s Jerry Cooney.

[1204] I love YouTube.

[1205] It's amazing.

[1206] It's so good.

[1207] You can find that.

[1208] All on demand.

[1209] Yeah.

[1210] Edited.

[1211] You can get the dubstep remix of that fight.

[1212] Actually, pull that one up with the lasers.

[1213] When George Foreman killed Jerry Co., I think he was in his 40s.

[1214] I'm pretty sure he was in his 40s.

[1215] And he was the oldest man to win the heavyweight time.

[1216] He was 46 when he knocked out Michael Moore.

[1217] And Michael Moore was a fucking stud.

[1218] He was a really good boxer.

[1219] Foreman hit him with one of those canned hams, those giant fucking fists of his.

[1220] It's just hard for me to watch.

[1221] Like I respect boxing highlights when they're from the time where MMA didn't exist.

[1222] Because now, you know, you look at it and I go, okay, well, that's impressive again because that was the sport and they were the best at it.

[1223] But nowadays, like, boxing has completely lost any ounce of appeal for me. Well, I prefer, quite honestly, I prefer MMA to everything.

[1224] But I do like stand -up fighting only.

[1225] I do still like that.

[1226] I prefer kickboxing.

[1227] I like, you know what its showtime is?

[1228] You ever watch its showtime?

[1229] They just sold themselves to Golden Glory.

[1230] So now it's just called Glory.

[1231] That's the new, they combine forces.

[1232] They bought them out.

[1233] Is it at all like a K -1 or it's just like...

[1234] It'd be better than K -1.

[1235] It's going to be the best fighters.

[1236] It's all the best, because the K -1 organization, after a while, stopped paying people.

[1237] They had money problems for a while, and then a new company bought them out, and then they did a May show.

[1238] They did a show in May, and people didn't get paid from that either.

[1239] Not everybody got paid.

[1240] Like, the big guys got paid, so it's Showtime and Glory decided to get together.

[1241] But most people in America don't even know how fucking badass kickboxing is, like real kickboxing.

[1242] I mean, we got used to that PKK karate shit in the 80s, which was quite honestly, I mean, it was a lot.

[1243] lot of fun.

[1244] I enjoyed it.

[1245] There's a lot of very good fighters, you know, that came out of that, you know, that actually, you know, Dennis Alexio and the guys who are really good fighters, but this style wasn't that exciting.

[1246] I mean, you'd make people, they had to like kick like eight times in a round, otherwise you know, they would get penalized because most people was just like sloppy boxing.

[1247] This is nothing like that.

[1248] This is incredibly technical boy tie.

[1249] Here's that Coon fight.

[1250] Yeah.

[1251] Look at this.

[1252] Jerry Cooney and George Foreman, I believe he's in his 40s here.

[1253] Look at this.

[1254] Jerry Cooney had challenged for the title at one point in time he fought larry holmes he was a murderous puncher knocked out ken norton in one of the most vicious knockouts ever a ruthless knockout he could bang man it's big fucking white guy but george orman also opened he opened a lot of people's eyes with how well he could take cooney's punches too look at this oh look at that one too brutal brutal oh god damn george form was a bad motherfucker what a combination man get up olin Benjamin he's getting up how tough is Jerry Cooney he's getting up after that he's gonna keep going you okay bitch you know you ain't okay never been clocked like that look at this look at this oh one step in look at that beautiful step in uppercut Brian please rewind that just rewind the second one rewind the second part again oh that was this is glorious look at this upper cut boom he didn't even need the follow -up he didn't even need the follow -up he just wanted him to hit the mat George Foreman steps in Left uppercuts him, steps to his right, and right hands him.

[1255] He was a really underrated boxer, man. That guy was a, you know, a really, really interesting fighter.

[1256] But Muhammad Ali took his soul in Zaire.

[1257] But how was his ground game?

[1258] Yeah, his ground game is probably about like James Tonys.

[1259] Not so good.

[1260] Not so good.

[1261] You know, they all could develop a ground game.

[1262] Anybody can develop a ground game.

[1263] All you have to do is put in the time.

[1264] The problem is when you go there, you're going to feel like a bitch.

[1265] Right.

[1266] You just got to be able to do that because a lot of people have a distorted perception of how well they could defend themselves.

[1267] And, you know, you get in there, you roll like, my friend Cade weighs 140 pounds, and I'm not bullshitting.

[1268] He might weigh 145.

[1269] He's very slight.

[1270] He's very thin.

[1271] But he's a black belt in jujitsu, you know, and I'm 50 pounds fucking heavy than him.

[1272] But if I roll with him, I got to watch what I'm doing because he'll fucking slap a triangle on me and I'll go unconscious.

[1273] I mean, that's just, that's the reality of MMA as a. opposed to, you know, to boxing, is that, you know, in a boxing match, the fact that you're not going to ever see that, you're never going to see a guy slap a triangle on a guy in the middle of a fight.

[1274] Right.

[1275] And, oh, shit, he locked it in.

[1276] You're missing half of fun.

[1277] You're only going to be able to hit guys.

[1278] It's great to hit guys.

[1279] I love watching a fight where two dudes throw blows and they're, you know, especially...

[1280] But I just think it's chess versus checkers.

[1281] Like, I'm not downplaying the nuance of the boxing game, but there are so many more outcomes you have to factor in every single millisecond you're in an MMA match with someone versus a boxing match.

[1282] Your brain has to keep that in mind.

[1283] But you never see the high level striking in MMA that you see in like glory in K1.

[1284] You don't see it.

[1285] You don't see it at that level.

[1286] They're just not as good.

[1287] And one of the reason why they're not as good is because they also have to factor in take down attempts.

[1288] So they have to change their stance a little bit.

[1289] And they have to, they have to constantly be thinking about like if they throw a kick, they're going to get taken down.

[1290] then they might lose the round.

[1291] The guy gets on top of them.

[1292] They might not be able to submit them.

[1293] When you don't have to think about any takedowns, then dudes can really show you what the fuck they got.

[1294] And some of the punching and kicking is so exciting in kickboxing, man. That's my favorite shit to watch.

[1295] When I watch dudes leg kicking dudes and fucking flying knee in each other in the face and dropping elbows on each other, I mean, it's so wild, like how good some of the best guys are.

[1296] It's just pure stand -up.

[1297] And in MMA, it's real hard to get two dudes that good at stand -up who also have good ground games.

[1298] Right.

[1299] You know, it's because usually when you get to a guy like a Georgia Petrosian, who's like a multiple -time world champion, one of the best fighters in the world.

[1300] Georgeo Petrosian is a straight kickboxer.

[1301] That's all that guy does.

[1302] And he's the fucking best.

[1303] And he fucks guys up that are like really high -level world champions, figures out their game.

[1304] And you can't do that if you're also taking jujitsu class.

[1305] You can't do that if you're also, you know, trying to put on.

[1306] weight because there's a you know a hundred seventy five hundred seventy pound division and the next weight class is one eighty five right so you got to figure out what the fuck to do either dehydrate yourself or put some mass on you don't have to do that when kickboxing you just fight it whatever the fucking weight class you are there's a lot of weight classes and so is glory is that that that's a new organization it's gold golden glory formed glory and glory is a kickboxing organization they've already had i know they've already had at least one show but fucking high level kickboxing to me is like one of the most fun things to watch yeah I got to recommend something to you, actually.

[1307] It's tangential, but I just don't want to forget to.

[1308] I love that you've used the term tangential twice on this podcast, which is more than I've ever used it in life.

[1309] Sweet.

[1310] It's a great word.

[1311] I love that word.

[1312] It's fantastic.

[1313] I might use it in something I wrote, but I would have to look it up to make sure I was using it right.

[1314] Oh, fuck it up.

[1315] You'll be all right.

[1316] Anytime you want to go off on a tangent, I apologize for being tangential.

[1317] What is the tangential point?

[1318] So it was just recommended.

[1319] to me recently.

[1320] It's a BBC, like a mini -series, three 40 -minute episodes called A Black Mirror.

[1321] And it deals with sort of near -futuristic societal issues that will come about because of the ever -evolving pace of technology and how it gets intrusive into our lives.

[1322] Really?

[1323] It's brilliantly shot, directed, edited.

[1324] It's one of the best things I've seen in a long fucking time.

[1325] A Black Mirror.

[1326] It's called Black Mirror.

[1327] There's three episodes.

[1328] And I, I'm hesitant and reluctant to speak about it any further because i don't want to spoil anything like each and it's a bbc documentary i think it was done for the bbc no it's there's a it was a it was like a three i'm tweeting it that's why i'm asking oh yeah uh i think three three mini series or three episodes three mini series i guess they're like 40 minute episodes they're phenomenal i cannot recommend them enough i've been showing them to everybody it's beautiful i haven't i can't believe they haven't aired over here yet i think they aired in india and the uk and that's it's beautiful i'm i that is a gorgeous mirror as well by That satin mirror is phenomenal.

[1329] Look at the depth of that.

[1330] Why are you looking at a mirror?

[1331] It's what came up.

[1332] Satin, here's looking at up, satin black, cock.

[1333] The moment I type black, the suggestions are cock, mouth, glory hole.

[1334] It's weird.

[1335] Brian's computer just suggests all these weird things.

[1336] I was searching for Benihana's, and it popped up Bukaki right away.

[1337] BBC miniseries on future technology issues recommended by Kevin.

[1338] It's amazing.

[1339] Well, I guess we can kind of dip into one, which was, you know, the Google Glasses.

[1340] You've seen those, right?

[1341] Google Glass.

[1342] Scary.

[1343] So the notion of having every moment recorded of all the time what that's going to lead to.

[1344] People have been like, oh, it's going to lead to freedom and democracy and whatever.

[1345] I never really gave much thought of it in the context of a relationship.

[1346] And a couple gets in an argument where someone says, well, you said something a certain way a little while ago.

[1347] I'm trying not to spoil things.

[1348] And the guy goes, oh, did I?

[1349] Let's look at the tape.

[1350] And then they're both going back and analyzing the argument, which causes them to analyze other things and causes them to go, you know, there's even the notion of children suing their parents over decreased, like, wages in the future because they didn't show enough support during a T -ball game or whatever when they were younger.

[1351] Oh my God.

[1352] Like the notion that that could exist in a near future because of the pace of technology is mind -blowing.

[1353] Yeah, you imagine if you could sue your parents because they did a shit job of raising you.

[1354] Like go back and show the evidence.

[1355] Your father was some millionaire bank dude and just didn't spend any time with his kids.

[1356] Let me exhibit 47 where you didn't love me. Let's go through and here it is.

[1357] Let's show this is the first time that I missed the potty.

[1358] This is how you treated me. I was two.

[1359] Can you believe that?

[1360] Jesus.

[1361] That's coming, right?

[1362] It has to be.

[1363] It's absolutely happening.

[1364] This whole thing is not going to, it's not like it's going to stop.

[1365] This intrusion, this integration, this symbiotic relationship that we have with the machine.

[1366] Yeah, that's fair.

[1367] Like the intrusion part is where, like, no, most people.

[1368] see it as an intrusion at all.

[1369] They're happily adopting it.

[1370] It seems like it.

[1371] I think it's going to be, the situation is going to be, that's just what life is.

[1372] It's not going to be an intrusion.

[1373] It's just there's not going to be privacy anymore.

[1374] It's going to come to that.

[1375] Well, I think there will be privacy for those who can afford it.

[1376] Yeah.

[1377] You know, there's going to be a percentage of the, of society that has enough money to hide what they're doing or make what they're doing legal and oppress others.

[1378] I want to be friends with them.

[1379] Yeah.

[1380] By the way, that we're all, we're, you're rapidly climbing that mountain, man. You're close.

[1381] I need to get, join a country, or something you need to start a super pack so they like me and they'll tell me when they're about to make shit go down don't go to the twin towers what we're playing golf by the way that black mirror is uh channel four not bbc ah my apologies it's still brilliant oh it's channel four yeah were you that specific with it yeah oh i just you know just tell people to bang black mirror and then they'll laugh at you for using bang that's true fucking spider man spider man Spider -Man used Bing.

[1382] Did you like that movie?

[1383] I had to tweet it.

[1384] I was like, that really ruined my suspension of disbelief.

[1385] Like, here I'm supposed to believe this kid is like crazy inventor and he lives in a world where people can hand 3D vector models to each other and there's crazy high -end technology everywhere, and yet he's using Bing.

[1386] I don't think so.

[1387] And then that, don't even get me started.

[1388] And then that tablet, what do you think about that tablet, the new surface?

[1389] Well, actually, I don't know, I'm not too mad at the surface.

[1390] I've got to use it before I really see how it goes, you know?

[1391] The tech specs look good I mean they're trying something It was funny to watch them try to present A product like Apple though And I don't think they have their presentation Chops down yet It froze up It froze up and then the guys It froze up while they were testing it Yeah yeah And then like twice Like twice You can pull that up Yeah And this guy that was selling a case for it Is like This case is the foinest leather Like a luxury car steering wheel Like you would find On a luxury automobile That's the leather The kind you would find On my cockstrap right now.

[1392] It's my Louis D string.

[1393] Louis D string.

[1394] I cinch my balls with Wuton.

[1395] It's the finest murdered beasts.

[1396] We caught their throat when they were young.

[1397] We personally personally clubbed each of these baby minks is here.

[1398] That's what they're saying.

[1399] Feel how soft the leather is?

[1400] It's the balls of a child.

[1401] It's just hate.

[1402] To be fair, this software is in beta, and so that's probably why it froze up.

[1403] Yeah, but you don't, but you don't You don't do a presentation unless it's going to be solid.

[1404] Apple's really great at that.

[1405] Not that they haven't fucked up to, but...

[1406] And have a great experience just with all the, with browsing.

[1407] This guy is just, he's hearing the email that's going to be sent to him about his job termination as he's demoing us.

[1408] And of course, people play games.

[1409] I can go and play any of the interesting games that are on in the Windows store.

[1410] Right now it's like freezing out.

[1411] I can play the game, hide the surface.

[1412] Yeah, so no one can see it froze.

[1413] And then the cameraman zooms in.

[1414] like right at the worst part ever.

[1415] Movies and entertainment look great as well.

[1416] You know it looks great?

[1417] My child's college fund.

[1418] Too bad I won't see it again.

[1419] Yeah, now, why is the camera would you switch?

[1420] Oh, I don't.

[1421] Excuse me, just a second.

[1422] Hold on one second.

[1423] They're going to talk about this at the company retreat.

[1424] Wait, I mean, wait.

[1425] Did he just put it back and get another one?

[1426] Yeah.

[1427] Which kudos on that producer for having another one ready to run back there.

[1428] You son of a bitch.

[1429] They must have had 40 back there just in case.

[1430] Son of this buggy piece of shit is going to fuck up in the middle of my presentation.

[1431] Oh, man, poor guy.

[1432] He must have been sweating that.

[1433] And he tried to, like, play it off, too.

[1434] You got to talk about it.

[1435] You got to go, listen.

[1436] We're going to stop that from happening.

[1437] Yeah.

[1438] Pay no attention to the crashing on the surface.

[1439] It's so silly.

[1440] It's so silly.

[1441] But they crashed.

[1442] Yeah.

[1443] So it's, but I don't, I'm not mad at the product.

[1444] I just, they got to try something.

[1445] I think it, you know, Amazon making a smartphone is interesting.

[1446] I think design wise, it's just, you know, like, when you sit, first all the iPad, you're just like, wow, that thing's sexy as fuck, you know.

[1447] And this kind of just.

[1448] seems just, I don't know, un -admated.

[1449] It just looked boring.

[1450] It looked kind of like, yeah, this would have been awesome three years ago.

[1451] Do you know that they're coming out with a small iPad?

[1452] That's the next move?

[1453] Yeah, yeah.

[1454] They're making a note.

[1455] And they're making the note bigger is the latest I heard.

[1456] So the next model of notes actually going to be a little bit bigger to kind of compete with the next iPad.

[1457] Is the iPad supposed to have a phone attached to it?

[1458] No, but you either should the note.

[1459] I mean, you can use it as a phone, I guess.

[1460] Probably using Skype.

[1461] That's what they're really trying to bill it as.

[1462] But wouldn't you want to be able to do everything?

[1463] Well, if the note could do everything, but the iPad could make calls, that would annoy me. Well, I mean, your iPad now can make calls if you Skype, but you can Skype or Voip it.

[1464] Yeah.

[1465] I think it's pretty, I think grandparents are Skyping at this point.

[1466] I think, I don't think the any of the elite hacksers out there are booting up Skype.

[1467] Do you have to have 4G to Skype or can you Skype or can you Skype over 3G?

[1468] Yeah.

[1469] Yeah.

[1470] Wow.

[1471] Yeah.

[1472] How weird is that?

[1473] It's great when you're eventually going to be what phone calls are.

[1474] It's like you just need an internet connection.

[1475] I mean, that's to an extent, that's what they are.

[1476] are now.

[1477] It's just instead of Skype, you're using their cellular tower.

[1478] It's just converting your voice to packets and beaming it around the planet.

[1479] Again, why I like mountain men.

[1480] When Marty gets in his plane and he flies three hours up into the Alaska wilderness, there's nobody up there.

[1481] That poor fuck, he has to take a bath in a, like, it has to heat up water in like a garbage can.

[1482] Does he have a tumbler?

[1483] Does he have a tumbler?

[1484] Yeah.

[1485] What's a Tumblr?

[1486] Am I supposed to care?

[1487] If he doesn't have a Tumblr, I'm not interested.

[1488] I don't know what a Tumblr is.

[1489] What's his Twitter?

[1490] Does he have a Twitter?

[1491] Oh, a Tumblr, one of those things.

[1492] Yeah, those plugs, those tumblers, it's like where people went when they got off of MySpace.

[1493] It's like, I need somewhere to go and express myself in a really annoying way.

[1494] It's actually where I think where people are getting off to go from Facebook now.

[1495] I need to park.

[1496] Yeah, a lot of people are tumbling.

[1497] Really?

[1498] Yeah, I mean, it gives you that sort of personalization and all that madness.

[1499] The Facebook thing is crazy.

[1500] I think the less indulgent people are allowed to be the better.

[1501] So when you're allowed animated gift files and all that shit.

[1502] You don't like my glitter graphics?

[1503] It's amazing.

[1504] They define me as a human being.

[1505] I want to embed.

[1506] 40 songs on a page with some glitter and that defines me. People for years wanted a way to define the type of person that's instantly defined when they have a glitter tag on their MySpace page for years it's like you know they're not retarded but like they're fucking weird like it's like they tell you they like something and you're like come on really the guys who have that jamster frog as their ringtone.

[1507] I'm like I see those commercials and I'm like someone is selling that ringtone to people before there were ringtones man you couldn't describe a guy like that before there were glitter tags you would you would go well she's just weird and well it sounds like you're an asshole same with axe body spray though i mean it's the same with everything well drachar noir wasn't it that whole bottle my father wears a whole bottle of that and to this like he has no scent glands so when he comes to my house like i've had people come up i've had people come over my house no shit and three days after my dad has visited they say your house reeks of knock off portuguese dracar and that's my old man which he sprays not even the real dracar no no It's like, it's like the chill water.

[1508] He uses the knockoff cool water, like literally.

[1509] I got some of that when I was a kid.

[1510] I remember putting it on.

[1511] I love them.

[1512] This is really what I have to do to get late.

[1513] I don't know if I'm kind of following through with this.

[1514] Can you get a Mountain Dew, man?

[1515] You get a Mountain Dew in there?

[1516] Ditto, if I may. That'd be great.

[1517] Thank you, sir.

[1518] You have such, this, congrats and a half on every time I visit you, there's a new setup.

[1519] Wait till you see the new place.

[1520] Soon we're going to be in low Earth orbit recording the podcast.

[1521] Like, this is so good.

[1522] We're branching out.

[1523] So happy for both of you.

[1524] Congrats.

[1525] Thank you.

[1526] We're having a good time, man. We've been doing a lot of comedy shows here at the Ice House, too.

[1527] We're doing one Wednesday night.

[1528] For folks who are interested, it's picking up pace as we speak.

[1529] Right now, committed to the show.

[1530] This is going to be one of our Wednesday night super shows.

[1531] Dom I Rere is in.

[1532] Greg Fitzsimmons is in.

[1533] I love that.

[1534] And Ari Shafir is in.

[1535] So just right there, son.

[1536] Get the fuck out of Dodge.

[1537] Greg was so, I asked him to be a part of the first lead -up that we threw at Club Nokia is my first time meeting?

[1538] I've gotten emails of this.

[1539] Explain to the ladies and gentlemen again to don't know what a lead up is.

[1540] A lead up yeah well I mean we created it on a whim this year it's it's supposed to be and and sort of is a nerd carnival so the idea is there's experiential zones that you can have like an old school arcade or cosplay or you know modeling with with earth magnets and Bucky balls and just random shit going on on the show floor and then on stage we do a sort of variety show so there's a podcast taping there's VJ Mike Realm I'm going to come out and jam with them on this tour.

[1541] We're taking it to 10 cities at the end of this year.

[1542] Where are you going?

[1543] We're taking it around.

[1544] We're announcing the dates next Tuesday and the locations.

[1545] Is there anywhere that's going to be around California?

[1546] Yeah, I think, well, we...

[1547] We don't have to fly anywhere?

[1548] Not for this one.

[1549] My Portland's the closest.

[1550] But we'll fly out.

[1551] We'll happily fly out and put you up and you can do a show after, or tape your podcast during it, if you want, you know?

[1552] If I can figure out a way to book a show that night, so it would make it worth my while to go.

[1553] Absolutely.

[1554] I think a, a fun thing would be to do, we thought about doing live podcasts before, and we might do that, but I think one thing that would be really fun to do is do half a live podcast, half a live Q &A session.

[1555] Sure.

[1556] So we could fuck around in podcasts if we'd like, but I would like it if people could just line up and ask his questions.

[1557] Right.

[1558] We built that into lead up.

[1559] Like the idea is that so many people do live podcasts on stage and you show up and you just watch somebody talk, and that's it.

[1560] And I'm like, but you're there, you're physically there.

[1561] There needs to be interaction with the audience.

[1562] So we play games with them.

[1563] we give out prizes, we do Q &As.

[1564] I used to do Q &As at the end of all my comedy shows.

[1565] That's awesome.

[1566] But it became too much the same questions.

[1567] Oh, really?

[1568] Too much.

[1569] Tell me about DMT.

[1570] Tell me about DMT, what's your favorite strain?

[1571] Please, if you go to Joe's live podcast taping, make sure those are the only questions you shout out.

[1572] That's all they will.

[1573] It's too late.

[1574] They got me. Which, you know, it's not bad, but I would say like, yeah, you should probably YouTube it.

[1575] You'll get a better, you know, there's plenty of descriptions of it on YouTube, listening to me and talk about it.

[1576] Sure.

[1577] Especially, you know, the people that...

[1578] There's great videos of you talking about it on, you know, you can see that.

[1579] But it was...

[1580] Sometimes it's fun, though.

[1581] I still do it sometimes.

[1582] But I used to do it after every show.

[1583] But it's hard to close strong when you do that, especially because I would, I wouldn't want to say no to no more questions.

[1584] So the questions would go on for sometimes hours, you know?

[1585] I've done, I've done like an hour of comedy and an hour and a half more of Q &A.

[1586] I've done that more than once.

[1587] And after a while, it's like, people like, let me go, dude.

[1588] I want to get out of here.

[1589] I'm tired of you talking.

[1590] you know so I cut it way back yeah I like to do like between an hour and 10 and no more than an hour and a half and just go fucking balls out you know and then as for Q &A I just talk to people that's my new thing just go outside and meet everybody if you got a question I'll answer it but to yell it out like on stage like that it's like I think it would be cool if it was a show of only Q &A like that's what was expected you know like people would be able to and they would be able to get up to a microphone and ask like when we We did at the end of my special.

[1591] Yeah, there was a bunch of really funny ones that we did from the end of, not my special from Atlanta that we just did, but my one from before, from Columbus, Ohio, one of the funniest parts of the special was talking to people afterwards, like, ask, they step up to the microphones to have ridiculous questions, you know, but it's hard to close on those.

[1592] It's hard to count that one of these is going to be good enough to end the show.

[1593] You could have an awesome show, but if, like, the end of it sucks, people remember the end of it.

[1594] Oh, sure.

[1595] You got to bookend it.

[1596] Start off big and big.

[1597] That's it.

[1598] You can be killing for an hour and a half and have the last five minutes eat a dick and the show sucked.

[1599] Well, if you did that, if you ate a dick on stage, I think that's quite a closer.

[1600] It depends on whose dick, right?

[1601] Sure.

[1602] Yeah.

[1603] Sure.

[1604] Did you hear about the Japanese guy that did that?

[1605] He served his own penis.

[1606] He decided that he was asexual.

[1607] So he had this meal.

[1608] What am I going to do with this thing?

[1609] It's $250 of plate.

[1610] Wow.

[1611] And he had all these people come over and he cooked his dick.

[1612] he cooked his dick with mushrooms and yeah i would love to see the yelp reviews for that yeah he showed his dick in the bag he had his dick surgically removed first of all the fact that he found a doctor that's willing to cut his fucking junk off and then give it to him so he could cook it sure like holy shit and i don't know who the fuck you think you are but the fact that you think you could just cut your dick and balls off and not miss them i think that's silly beyond belief that's why when i like have you seen that you've seen the bme pain olympics video right where the guy's got his balls in a mason jar filled with angry hornets and he's just shaking it around come on boys get at me oh that's fucking cry dip a stinger in me like that is insane to me people are goddamn crazy insane to me brian i'm so glad they fix the AC does it work do you think it works it doesn't seem like it works this is we're going into some beak room yoga yeah we need to do something about that we found a doctor when we first launched attack of the show it's one of my favorite segments that only six people saw because nobody watched our show when we first launched it but that launch week we did some crazy shit and one of them was someone yelled across the office they're like your ass got served like oh like okay and we went wait could you serve a web page out of someone's asshole and we did the research and sure enough you can we got a little USB web server thumb drive we registered your askot served dot com slipped it into a condom and on live television put it in a co -worker's asshole and fired up the web server in his colon and you could go live to his asshole and leave a message on his wall which was like you know scrawling on his colon it existed it absolutely worked it was crazy it was amazing we got away with that on live tv how much of it did you show we had him behind a screen silhouetted like ace ventura style and the doctor went back there and remodulated his voice but i was standing right next to it with a with a little microphone just oh it was brilliant your ass got served that's hilarious yeah it was awesome too bad six people saw it oh i saw it well thank you yeah because i can find five more we can have a reunion special that was the beauty that was the beauty of dvr because that was one of the few shows uh uh talk of the show that that i enjoyed kind of like uh watching the news almost every day oh nice you know it kept me up the day and and stuff like that so i i mean i might have had like 20 episodes at a time and only watched like seven or eight of them i'll take that but uh i always you know that's awesome it was a fun show man and i really liked how it progressed and i was actually really sad to hear that you left but but i understand how what do you what do you up to now uh lots lots um you're doing a lot of podcasts you know any air conditioning yeah no i mean that's what i'm getting into mostly is podcast hvac stuff no i can fix your air conditioning for you i've been reading up a lot no i uh i left and i started a company called super creative um super creative dot tv is our site that's a super creative name thank you thank you it was originally a uh i literally was like what's the creative name I could come up with that explains what we do because I'm like I'm not spending weeks coming up with a name for double helix infusion studios LLC fuck that we're super creative that's what we'll do that's not bad so uh so created it and we uh we sold a show to sci -fi which we're doing now I I think I I I'm you know what it's far enough along we haven't actually put pen to paper but I'm doing a new machinima series that will probably announce at Comic -Con we're doing lead up we're doing a whole bunch of randomness that's a pretty flashy intro that's the one of the most amazing intros ever oh thank you Oh, we crash your server.

[1613] Oh, shit.

[1614] So what we do really well is hype up website so we can crash them.

[1615] Is that server still in his ass?

[1616] That's where it's being served from right now.

[1617] That's hilarious.

[1618] I hired Microsoft to do my demo.

[1619] I'm sorry.

[1620] There was a runtime error.

[1621] I even tried to do that today.

[1622] Try to do what today?

[1623] Try to do that same stunt today.

[1624] Yeah.

[1625] Probably never be able to put that on television.

[1626] It was kind of, it was, it was, it was, censorship wasn't a huge issue with attack of the show.

[1627] We were really able to get away with a lot.

[1628] But there definitely came to a point where there's no way those ideas could even be, you know.

[1629] What was like the thing that you tried to do the, you know, they get shot down?

[1630] You know, it was weird.

[1631] There was a lot that I tried to do, which surprised me that it got shot down.

[1632] Like, chase a greased pig in the studio.

[1633] It took me like four years to be able to do that.

[1634] I wanted to, in the middle of an interview, have a guy come out and ring a cowbell and yell like, and then the graphics roll in, and a fucking greased pig is released in the studio.

[1635] And we all try to grab it.

[1636] The dumbest fucking thing in the world.

[1637] And, yeah, this, well, I had my moment on our thousandth.

[1638] episode show.

[1639] I got to catch a grease pig in the studio and it was fucking brilliant television except for the moment when I leap in front of the pig and the pig, poor pig looks scared.

[1640] It was a small little pig and I went, oh, now I just feel bad.

[1641] This pig is in studio lights.

[1642] There's people cheering.

[1643] We got hay everywhere.

[1644] So it was, we made the best of it, but it was doing shit like that.

[1645] It was fun.

[1646] I'm going to miss that.

[1647] I stopped eating pigs for a while.

[1648] Really?

[1649] I eat them now, but for a long time I stopped eating them because I watched a documentary called something my brother's keeper I think it was it was about these two guys that were accused of crime I forget what the crime is but they were a bit slow and they were living in a rural area and they ran a farm and they when they went to kill a pig you could tell the pig knew what the fuck was up you could tell the pig was running away pig was terrified and he put that gun up the pig's head and boom and he did it in front of the other pig so pigs remember that shit they know what the fuck is going on When you come up to him with that gun.

[1650] And when I saw that, I saw that, I'm like, wow, that thing's smart.

[1651] That thing's smart and it knows.

[1652] Oh, they're incredibly smart.

[1653] People go, oh, they're dirty, filthy, disgusting animals.

[1654] They're actually incredibly intelligent.

[1655] That's kind of fucked.

[1656] That's the only thing that I think of.

[1657] When I think of as us being, like, related to animals and that we love animals, it's only, to me, it's only intelligent animals.

[1658] But when I find out a pig is as smart as a dog or smarter, I go, ooh, that's a smart thing.

[1659] and that some people kill pigs as pets or keep pigs, keeps pigs rather as pets.

[1660] I'm like, ooh, they're probably smart.

[1661] Right.

[1662] But something stupid, like a fish can suck my dick, you know?

[1663] I'm not really, you know what I mean?

[1664] That's a fish to keep around, actually.

[1665] I don't feel connected to that fish at all.

[1666] Right.

[1667] I only feel connected to things I can think.

[1668] Yeah, if I can win it in a midway game and flush it down three weeks later, You can walk out to a cow and shoot it in the head, and the other cows just go, what happened?

[1669] Well, that was loud.

[1670] Yeah, it was fucking loud as shit.

[1671] I'm going to walk out.

[1672] over here now.

[1673] Can you believe that they got foie gras, like, band?

[1674] Yeah, it's the most insane thing ever.

[1675] Shots me. Shots me. So stupid.

[1676] Meanwhile, you can eat goose.

[1677] Right.

[1678] So dumb.

[1679] Just can't eat their liver.

[1680] It's so stupid.

[1681] I mean, how about, like, look, I understand the argument of there were certainly, there was a percentage of farms that were, you know, torturing animals essentially to make it, much like the way they torture veal to make it, but.

[1682] Yeah, but it wasn't even that, man. Have you ever seen it?

[1683] The way they, first of all, the way most of them do it, they, the fucking ducks actually hover around the feeding tube because they want it.

[1684] Right.

[1685] Well, people talk about being shackled in and their heads are through a wooden hole and they're using plunger sticks to jam it down their throat.

[1686] That's the propaganda.

[1687] And look, I'm sure that a percentage of farms were doing that.

[1688] I'm sure people treat them like shit.

[1689] But you make that illegal.

[1690] You don't make the fucking byproduct illegal.

[1691] Why is it not okay to take that one piece but it's okay to take the hole?

[1692] Well, it's not legal to...

[1693] There's organic foguat too where they don't force feed them.

[1694] They just use the liver.

[1695] That's illegal too now.

[1696] That's what I mean, it's so stupid because the fucking duck is still, you can still eat duck, you can still eat goose.

[1697] You can glaze them and hang them from a window.

[1698] They essentially made an organ, the preparation of an organ illegal.

[1699] It's so stupid because, first of all, organs are some of those nutritious things you can eat.

[1700] You know, liver is really good for you.

[1701] It's like, that's the reason why wolves go for the liver.

[1702] The reason why cats eat your organs, they're like super healthy for you.

[1703] Your hearts are so healthy.

[1704] It's really like, really like maximum protein stuff.

[1705] Just like that guy serving up his dick in Japan.

[1706] Do you think in the near future...

[1707] I don't think dicks are so healthy.

[1708] No, no, I'm not talking about the nutritional aspects of it.

[1709] I'm talking about the concept of eat, like they're being a restaurant near future where human organs are served because they're grown in a fridge somewhere out of petri dishes or whatever.

[1710] That's a very good point.

[1711] Like we're going to slice an ear off the back of this mouse and you're going to eat it, but a liver or something else.

[1712] Well, you know, eating parts of humans can call Jacob Crutsfeld disease.

[1713] It can cause a mad cow disease.

[1714] The same essential disease that mad cow is somehow when you feed cows, brain matter of other cows, and that's what they do.

[1715] They grind up every fucking part of the cow, and then feed it to other cows.

[1716] It's really insane.

[1717] It's disgusting, yeah.

[1718] It's not just disgusting.

[1719] It's like psychopathic.

[1720] It's like they've done something beyond horrendous.

[1721] Not only do they eat these animals and murder these animals on a regular basis, but then they feed them to each other.

[1722] And they feed them protein, which, by the way, is not what they eat, man. That's not their food.

[1723] Their food is grass, okay?

[1724] And they're not even supposed to be eating corn.

[1725] And the reason why they get so fucking fat is because we feed them corn.

[1726] Cows eat grass.

[1727] That's what they eat.

[1728] That's it, period.

[1729] So we're feeding them other cows.

[1730] Well, they get this crazy mad cow disease, which is essentially nature's way of keeping you from being a fucking cannibal.

[1731] It was the same disease that cannibals in New Guinea get.

[1732] Cannibals in New Guinea get these fucking horrible neurological disorder where they have the shakes.

[1733] And it's from fucking eating people, man. So I don't think we'll ever see a human organ restaurant because I think if you eat them, you'll probably get sick.

[1734] I mean, it only makes sense.

[1735] I know the prions are, I believe it's brain matter that holds them.

[1736] That's where they get it from initially.

[1737] This talk is exactly what I needed because I needed somebody to tell me that I couldn't do it.

[1738] This will be the catalyst.

[1739] This is my motivator.

[1740] They're making some pretty incredible things in petri dishes, right?

[1741] I mean, aren't they recreating bladders now?

[1742] Have they done that?

[1743] I think they've done that with, they've created a bladder and installed it into a person.

[1744] Yeah.

[1745] I hope there's no runtime errors.

[1746] I think a bladder, you know, it's like sort of a bladder, you know, bag so it's probably like a good safe thing to start out with before you something that pumps things right you know before they actually make a heart right I'm sure they've done it I'm sure they've done it and put it in a chimp somewhere and popped open the chest and let's see if this powers it let's see what happens when we do this sure they have yeah man chimps chimps that get tested on I bet they're really angry can you imagine what a fucking shit life it is to be as smart as a chimp which is probably like what's smarter a chimp or a person with down syndrome is it close i would have no i think down syndrome is such a wide spectrum right of like severe right because corky had a very mild version of it from the facts of life remember was it facts no that was that wonder years right wasn't no it was no it was it no was that's what was that show with corkey i don't know no crawling pains is the one with kirk cameron wasn't it i'm i'm so upset that i asked that question life goes on because i know that's that's all i'm caps in my Twitter feed for the next three weeks.

[1747] Life goes on, bro.

[1748] You didn't know corky?

[1749] You remember growing pains man before Kurt Cameron became one of the most awesome?

[1750] He's brilliant.

[1751] Why is a banana shaped the way it is?

[1752] I never fucking explain that shit.

[1753] Joe, I actually was on a plane with Kurt Cameron recently and he was just sitting there looking so sad and depressed because it was one of those things where I was waiting for somebody else to put like their luggage up so I was just standing right next to him and he's just sitting there like looking at his phone like looking past his phone not even looking what's on the screen and he just sat there and then like some woman came up to him and he just looked up and went like did this like little smile but it was so weird being dude what you can imagine every day the guy is fighting off the gay with every fiber of his being he is just clenching his teeth and fighting if if you really want to save kirk cameron this is what you do if you're a big gay guy just sit in his lap and pull your cock out And he'll just, he'll suckle on it like a baby to its mother's breast.

[1754] Put a banana peel on it at first.

[1755] That's what he's doing.

[1756] He's just fighting off the gay, tooth and nail and claw and fang.

[1757] That's so funny to me how the people who are most outspoken against homosexuality are just the closeted gays.

[1758] Look at him.

[1759] He's so obviously gay.

[1760] You can't get any obviously gayer than Kirk Cameron.

[1761] Not there's anything wrong with being obviously gay either.

[1762] I mean, for the guy to be happy, she'd just come out of the closet.

[1763] all of them just come out what do you think about the tom cruise uh Scientology Surrey or whatever in that whole thing it's amazing that Tom Cruise already has a new Ukrainian beauty there was a picture of him and her holding hands already in a magazine like it's such an obviously staged picture you're like Scientology are bad motherfuckers because they're still rocking it old school in 2012 all right they're putting together storylines they're creating like narratives they have like a whole fucking publicity like a whole area department that like figures out how to handle this.

[1764] We need Tom a girlfriend and we need Tom a girlfriend.

[1765] It's like in a newsroom.

[1766] Like that's it.

[1767] They're the, like the news corp of religion.

[1768] We spotted Katie Holmes in New York.

[1769] The bitch is in New York.

[1770] Shit.

[1771] We need Tom with a hot Russian.

[1772] Right.

[1773] Right now.

[1774] And Tom, okay, you're going to go on Ellen this time and jump on the couch and you're going to say you're in love and you're, I don't care if you're 50.

[1775] Do you want to fix your career?

[1776] jump on that woman's couch listen get on them all things the videos of them like people trying to go into their welcome to the public kind of festivals and them coming out and aggressively swarming around people and screaming what's your issue what's your problem what are you hiding what are you afraid of it's that's scary shit they love to call you a bigot too that's like a big one they call people bigots you're a bigot you're a bigot you're a bigot yeah Scientology is a fascinating organization to me but helps help people though man no doubt about I have a neighbor who's a Scientology who's a nice fucking guy, man. He's a great guy, and it helped him, man. He tells you all the great things that he did for him and how it helped his business, helped his life, and helped his focus, and this and that, and he fucking believes in it.

[1777] Who are you to tell him differently, Kevin Pereira?

[1778] I'm nobody, I'm nobody, Joe Rogan.

[1779] Do you think how much of Tom Cruise's life is surrounded by Scientologist?

[1780] Is he just like in a Scientology bubble?

[1781] He's like the leader.

[1782] Yeah.

[1783] Is he the head guy?

[1784] He wears the pig helmet at the meeting, you know?

[1785] Like, he's the one that's, like, the deepest in, I think.

[1786] I think there's, like, a group of, like, probably, like, six main players, and he's, like, one of the head guys, you know?

[1787] You think so?

[1788] Yeah.

[1789] I like how you've just created your own fucking council of doom.

[1790] Seriously, he's a piece of a wild -out volcano.

[1791] Have you ever seen the video?

[1792] He's so powerful.

[1793] He's, like, one of the most powerful guys ever.

[1794] He is.

[1795] Can you pull up the video of him in the, do you know, the Scientology video, where he is, it's a video that wasn't supposed to get out of it.

[1796] supposed to play at like a conference or something right and he was supposed to be in the yeah i don't know what you would say tom cruise creepy speech scientology but whatever it is they they had it set up and excuse me they had it set up in this um like a whole there was like a whole auditorium of people that were like watching this tape right wasn't yeah yeah yeah like cheering along with it and shit am i remembering the right thing no i think it was i think it was like a annual meeting like a seminar like you sit through that and then they offer you a time share and then you get to go skiing poor katie holmes you poor she signed but didn't she sign out like i've always heard I've always heard that they sign up for it.

[1797] Yeah, and it's like five years and you get this much money.

[1798] She wanted her career to come back.

[1799] She wanted to be relevant, you know.

[1800] And guess what, man?

[1801] That's the only way to do it for a lot of these girls.

[1802] You know, these middling girls, you know, they're doing pretty good.

[1803] They're okay.

[1804] And, you know, five years goes by.

[1805] And she's 39.

[1806] Ooh, pass.

[1807] And that's it.

[1808] It's over.

[1809] Yeah.

[1810] So you got to make a, you got to bust a move before your fucking rice runs out of the, bucket sand out of the thing sand out of the hourglass or the yeah that thing the old rice bucket why do I feel like there's a similar measuring device with rice in some cultures I'm sure there are yeah maybe there's got to be someone figured that out I spend way too much time thinking about ancient civilizations and ancient cultures do you gotta be honest with you yeah it's a real problem it's a distraction from thinking about current events when do you think we're gonna wipe ourselves out or upload ourselves into the machines so it doesn't matter like how soon it seems like it's gonna happen in our lifetime yeah it seems like the leaps are coming so fast.

[1811] Did you see the new TSA screening devices?

[1812] Which?

[1813] Yeah, look at them all clapping.

[1814] He's got a medal.

[1815] He did it.

[1816] He's got a medal.

[1817] He's got a medal.

[1818] He won the religion.

[1819] I have never met a more competent.

[1820] The world and background, podium.

[1821] Tolerant, a more compassionate being outside of what I've experienced from LRAH.

[1822] And I've met the leaders of leaders.

[1823] okay i've met them all so i say to you sir cob we are lucky to have you and thank you very it's beautiful we will have gave it sex tonight he's beautiful wasn't elron busted on like a boat in international waters having sex with underage people yep okay something well maybe not i just but i said yep it made it so there we go update the wiki can we just get that in that's not even the one man um there's one where he was appearing by tape right yeah yeah that's the one i originally found but i thought you were talking about that one that was beautiful too though he's beautiful the way he's just so charismatic i would sign up for five years with that so especially to help my career if i just had an inkling of of the possibility that maybe he would hang out with me if i could just like cultures that's it i like that the music's like that once you know these tools and you know that they work it's it's it's not good enough that i'm just doing okay traveling the world and meeting the people that i that i've met you know talking with these leaders in various fields they want help and they are depending on people who know and who can be effective and do it and that's us that is our responsibility to do that it is the time now is the time stop this it is no no no it's beautiful people are turning to you so you better know it you you better know it and if you don't you know go and learn it what oh that's the option if i don't know it i don't learn it jeez it's not even the end of it the end of it is what i wanted to hear where he says that if you stop by an accident you know you have to do something because you're a scientist yeah it's an eight minute video here i'll try to skip don't don't make me get my dick hard for eight minutes yeah yeah that's too intense for me i just love the possible music i love the I love all of it.

[1824] Your religious mission should you choose to accept it.

[1825] I love your self -destructs.

[1826] I love the conviction.

[1827] I love the fake actor intensity involved in it.

[1828] And I know that he's just thinking of, I have one more hour of this and I'm going to fuck everyone.

[1829] He's got this like 10 dudes just waiting for him.

[1830] They're prepping them right now.

[1831] He's like a horse that knows he's on the end of the trail and he's getting back to the feed bag.

[1832] She knows there's 12 dudes in the back warming up.

[1833] Waxing their beetles.

[1834] I know that I've done everything I could every day.

[1835] And I think about those people out there who are depending on us.

[1836] And it does make me feel like, man, I've got more work.

[1837] I need more help.

[1838] Get those spectators, either in the playing field or out of the arena.

[1839] In the playing field or out of the arena.

[1840] That was great.

[1841] You're either with us who have the answers.

[1842] We have, we can provide all the help.

[1843] If you got eight minutes to kill, ladies and gentlemen, please watch the whole thing because there's so much glory in it.

[1844] There's so much awesomeness in it.

[1845] It's so ridiculous.

[1846] But you know what, man?

[1847] It's like we, we value charisma like that so much that a guy like that who can step up and tell you what Scientology can do to maximize you and that you will be a better person.

[1848] It's not if you become a bit.

[1849] You will.

[1850] will be a better person.

[1851] Thank you very much.

[1852] The reason you're not right now is because you haven't joined me. Come on, dude.

[1853] How crazy do you have to be to be wearing a medal?

[1854] To wear a fucking Olympic gold medal.

[1855] Bigger than the Olympic medal.

[1856] They said, what's the Olympic medal?

[1857] Make it 10 % bigger because this is important.

[1858] Melt those Olympic rings into one giant metal.

[1859] And make it match his eyes.

[1860] Make it out of the gold we took from the fillings at Auschwitz.

[1861] And, yeah, that special evil gold that we have saved up that we've been irradiating and saying mean things to for years.

[1862] They have like one fucking pile of all the gold that they know was made and gotten through the worst circumstances like black beards fucking pirate treasure we know he murdered babies for this goal oh this is the gold I want molded into that.

[1863] What are you watching now?

[1864] This is a slight show crazy talk.

[1865] I thought your Tom Cruise screensaver kicked in.

[1866] I thought all your photos of a half naked Tom Cruise.

[1867] Okay stop right there.

[1868] Back up a second.

[1869] Think about this real quick.

[1870] Look at him with Val Kilmer.

[1871] Now, think about what he looks like, which is the fucking same.

[1872] He's showing him the fist that he wants to put inside him in this photo.

[1873] What Val Kilmer looks like.

[1874] He's saying, I'm getting you to the elbow, ice man. Val Kilmer.

[1875] Val Kilmer has continued to age, whereas Tom Cruise had, he got to a certain point and then just stopped.

[1876] Because he's been eating from a human liver restaurant, and you don't know about it yet.

[1877] Petri dish human liver restaurant.

[1878] Yeah, he goes into the cryo freezer.

[1879] especially picks his organs.

[1880] That's what he's in love with Katie back in the day.

[1881] Meanwhile, what is he thinking about there?

[1882] Cock.

[1883] That's what he's thinking about.

[1884] Cock.

[1885] He's thinking about cock there.

[1886] He's thinking about cock right there.

[1887] He's ready for it, actually.

[1888] He's yelling for cock.

[1889] I actually want to say on the record that I don't think he's gay and he doesn't want that because, and my name is Brian Reichel.

[1890] My stage name's Red Band and I disagree with everyone here, Mr. Cruz, and I'm sorry.

[1891] Oh, Brian.

[1892] Would you do it?

[1893] Even if he doesn't, even if he doesn't want cock, I think you should try it.

[1894] Yeah.

[1895] Because it might be his thing.

[1896] Brian, would you do a five -year stint with Tom Cruise if it meant unlimited wealth and career success?

[1897] Five months.

[1898] Five months?

[1899] I have to have sex or just hang out with him.

[1900] I think you have to either fuck or be fucked by Tom Cruise.

[1901] One of the two has to happen for sure.

[1902] For unlimited wealth.

[1903] Unlimited wealth, sure.

[1904] And success.

[1905] Would you do it?

[1906] Career success.

[1907] Five months.

[1908] Tom Cruise sex slave.

[1909] Absolutely not.

[1910] You wouldn't for unlimited wealth?

[1911] No. What is unlimited wealth though?

[1912] I don't know.

[1913] I'm just never having to worry about it.

[1914] Yeah, but could you buy like Jets and shit?

[1915] certainly if unlimited wealth can you imagine your butthole you're letting a guy fuck your butthole was worth that much it was like there was a way you can negotiate i'm sure it's the sun sultan out there somewhere now people think of it that they like sucked your dick just for dinner and like really i could have gotten unlimited wealth if i just got a better agent if we were talking about zach effron then maybe oh man don't let me get lost in his eyes don't look at those don't um how many guys do you think are in hollywood that are in the closet that are forced to be in the closet because they play action star Well, I think there's a, I think there's a shit ton of them, and I also think there's a lot of guys who, who, well, I mean, it's like, the guys who go gay for pay, like, who aren't gay guys, but they're like, fuck, if I got to take a dick to make fucking ends meet, let's go.

[1916] Right.

[1917] Some dudes just have lower standards.

[1918] They'll let things happen.

[1919] Maybe, maybe, I call it adventurous, Joe.

[1920] Fuck you for putting a label on anybody who might do that out there, anybody at all.

[1921] If you want to do it, though, it seems like a company like Scientology is fucking awesome to have in your corner.

[1922] It seems like they, I mean, I don't know, we're just totally speculating as to what, role, if any, they have.

[1923] And speculating, by the way, whether or not he's actually good.

[1924] It might just be crazy.

[1925] Certainly.

[1926] No, no, no. I just, the notion of a Scientology to, like, if I were to join it as a D -list struggling actors, web celebrity type, if I were to join Scientology and kick in 100 grand the first year, maybe 200 grand, that's going to buy me to a certain level where I'm in meetings with people who are heads of movie studios and making decisions.

[1927] And they go, look at this young gentleman here who's paying in and he's playing the game.

[1928] Let's put him in that movie give him a little bit more because we know he's going to contribute to the church you know he's going to be a ambassador but how much is how much do they actually control that's the big question is like they obviously control tom cruise because he's really successful i mean you look at tom cruise tom cruise has been in a bunch of really big hit movies so that's why they control him that's why they handle his business because he's a massive investment sure he's worth a ton of money but how you know he's that guy but he's already there you know what i'm saying How much can they do for you?

[1929] How much could they get Kevin Pereira help?

[1930] How much could they weasel you in?

[1931] I'm sure they'd have a good pitch, which is, you know, maybe they'd get me a Hulu web series.

[1932] I'm not mean Mission Impossible Five.

[1933] Just, you know, I'll take, that's what I mean.

[1934] Like, they could help me out on a certain level.

[1935] And then as you grow with them and they help you, then you contribute more.

[1936] And they help groom you for that.

[1937] So they are essentially like a form of a talent agency.

[1938] For some, I'm sure.

[1939] For some, they're probably a beard agency.

[1940] For others, they're a talent agency.

[1941] Do you know what I mean?

[1942] They just offer all different services.

[1943] What do you need?

[1944] You're in the church now, and they have your secrets.

[1945] They audit you.

[1946] They know all about your past and your history, and that's part of the initiation process is that you divulge everything to them.

[1947] So then you're beholden to them.

[1948] Pretty sweet how good they are in keeping secrets.

[1949] It's amazing.

[1950] It's pretty fucking sweet.

[1951] Yeah.

[1952] You know, I mean, think about how many dudes that must have the fucking inside scoop on John Travolta.

[1953] And just fucking, like, we here at Scientology are committed to a mission.

[1954] Wow, that was amazing.

[1955] Like, was there a group on on just gay masseuse?

[1956] masseurs like they just came out of the woodworks yeah once one guy came out the other guys oh no he didn't i'm gonna get mine too yeah absolutely if you're stepping for it i am i wonder if they got paid money must have been exchanged yeah well they suddenly started with drawing all their lawsuits and you know that i don't know if that's maybe they were frivolous i don't know but uh he should just come out come on out dude no one cares yeah well look at i mean i'm sure like Anderson cooper recently came out yeah no one cares did that matter i mean did that no The people that care suck.

[1957] You know, it's not funny that people are gay.

[1958] What's funny is that people are straight pretending they're gay.

[1959] Right.

[1960] Or rather, gay pretending they're straight.

[1961] That's what's funny.

[1962] Right.

[1963] So now, the actual being gay, I know a lot of gay people, but it's hilarious when there's fucking obviously gay people with their Kirk Cameron, fella.

[1964] I'm just shocked whenever there's a legislative setback in, like, you know, in the gay rights movement.

[1965] Like, you can so easily draw a line that's parallel to any other time there's been a debate involving marriage or, any other discrimination suit.

[1966] And you go, oh, that was wrong.

[1967] We were wrong about discriminating.

[1968] That's right.

[1969] We were wrong.

[1970] We figured that out.

[1971] And yet here we are discriminating in mass and volume, loudly and openly.

[1972] And it's a platform for some people politically.

[1973] And that's okay right now.

[1974] We're okay with that.

[1975] Even with all the knowledge and access to history that we have, we're okay with that.

[1976] Well, religion has always been the big, I mean, if you want to look at one thing that suppresses gay people, nothing has suppressed gay people more than religion.

[1977] And almost every person who's against people who are gay being married is religious.

[1978] I mean, that is just, it's not an ideological viewpoint.

[1979] It's a religious viewpoint.

[1980] Sure.

[1981] It's where it comes from.

[1982] The ideology that that action is negative in any way is connected directly to religion.

[1983] For no one I know that's an atheist.

[1984] For a myriad of societal issues, though, from religion to abortion to whatever.

[1985] I mean, the main thing, people say, well, it's a political issue.

[1986] No, it's actually a religious issue.

[1987] and one political side at times, ebbs and flows, will side more with religion.

[1988] It's traditionally Republican, but...

[1989] It became Ronald Reagan.

[1990] Ronald Reagan started all that shit off.

[1991] That's where the big slide in this country came.

[1992] Before then, religion really was separated from politics.

[1993] It wasn't a big thing, but the Ronald Reagan, they went after the fucking religious right.

[1994] They knew they were a powerful force.

[1995] They knew they could rally up and they could protest and they could, you know, they could do things.

[1996] They would pound the pavement, hand out the pamphlets, tell every Sunday, beam the message into people's heads, that that's the way?

[1997] Like, fucking mindless drones that need a purpose to live are happy to be a part of that organization.

[1998] And they were in, locked in.

[1999] Those sons of bitches.

[2000] I always think, though, like, I got to figure out for me what my spiritual parallel is, because every story that I read about, you know, everything from placebo effect to spiritual people heal quicker because they believe that they will heal quicker.

[2001] I got to figure out the proper way and the healthy way to unlock that within me, because I'm such a skeptic about everything.

[2002] I can help you.

[2003] That with any pill, with any drug, with any anything, even just positive thought, I'll eventually convince myself that it will not work.

[2004] Well, I can help you.

[2005] Oh, please.

[2006] Sure, please.

[2007] I've already conquered this.

[2008] You can help you tremendously.

[2009] Life is a simulation, and it's a simulation for your own benefit.

[2010] You live in a future, a sexless future where people take orgasm pills and most breeding is done through some sort of a genetic manipulation where you just fucking recreate people in laboratories.

[2011] There's no sex.

[2012] There's no meat.

[2013] don't eat steak.

[2014] You don't talk.

[2015] You use your brain.

[2016] And it's beautiful.

[2017] We've organized and, you know, basically evolved past the point of physical violence and pleasure and all sorts of different things that are essentially just tricks of genetics.

[2018] But it's boring.

[2019] No one's getting their dick suck.

[2020] The music's fucking terrible.

[2021] You can't go out and get a good steak.

[2022] So we have decided to encase our consciousness in a simulation.

[2023] And the simulation is we are in the roaring 20s of the technology age.

[2024] We lived back in a time where things were crazy.

[2025] We could go to a store and buy a fucking 600 horsepower car and just drive the speed limits 55 miles an hour, wink, wink.

[2026] Meanwhile, you can go buy a Shelby Mustang that has 600 fucking horsepower.

[2027] So we're the Matrix, but we got to pay for patches.

[2028] Exactly.

[2029] We're paying, and that's part of the fun of it all is that everything is corrupt and ridiculous.

[2030] Part of the fun of a Batman movies, in fact, there's bad guys.

[2031] Okay?

[2032] Part of the fun of of our life is the fact that, yeah, we do live in this ridiculously corrupt society.

[2033] Yeah, when you raise your voice and you stand up and you tell people, this is fucking bullshit, that does feel good.

[2034] It's part of the game.

[2035] It's all part of the fun.

[2036] And reality, it doesn't matter at all.

[2037] You're a simulation and you probably will never die.

[2038] You will live in this simulation and it will fucking black out one day and you'll wake up in the middle of a fucking some sort of a forest fire with your friends and you're, you're You're working in the blazing heat trying to put out this fire.

[2039] And that's your real life, because you work up in some new reality.

[2040] And then it's going to keep going on and on and on.

[2041] A clam on a table licking salt.

[2042] Yeah.

[2043] It'll go on forever.

[2044] There's no ending.

[2045] You don't get a break.

[2046] You don't get to sit behind the pearly gate someday and reminisce and try to figure out if it all went the way you wanted it to.

[2047] Well, next time I'm going to come back as a baby.

[2048] No, it's just one big thing that never ends.

[2049] Believing that doesn't make me feel like my planter fasciitis is going to heal.

[2050] quicker.

[2051] Well, you got to put yourself in a different stand of mind.

[2052] Not that I have it.

[2053] You got to decide with your mind, because that's how you control this video game, you got to decide with your mind to be the hero in your own story and that if you were going to be the hero in your own story and the story was going to be fucking badass, what would the hero do right now?

[2054] How would the hero get his shit together?

[2055] It's a long -ass movie.

[2056] I need to invent dragons and dragons and hoverboards, and I'm set.

[2057] Maybe you could do it.

[2058] That's the calling.

[2059] If that's your calling, everybody has one.

[2060] But whatever you're calling is, you just got to decide, you're the hero in the story, What would the hero do?

[2061] It's really not that hard.

[2062] This fucking air conditioning sucks a fat bag.

[2063] It's pretty brutal.

[2064] If you don't mind, I'll, if I could let him in here just so he can look at it and check things while we're doing your podcast.

[2065] Jesus Christ.

[2066] Right now?

[2067] No, I mean, like if you can just walk in the background, you know.

[2068] Does he want to come back right now?

[2069] Yeah, yeah.

[2070] Yeah, sure.

[2071] Go get her.

[2072] I think we're going to, we just wrap this up anyway, right?

[2073] Are we done?

[2074] What time is it?

[2075] How we did it?

[2076] Seven.

[2077] Two hours, 15.

[2078] Do you want to keep talking?

[2079] Happy to if you can.

[2080] I'd like.

[2081] Let's let that dude.

[2082] come in here.

[2083] All right.

[2084] Yeah, it's really hot.

[2085] It's swampy.

[2086] I hear tropical birds cawing in my taint right now.

[2087] It is rough.

[2088] You could row a boat through it.

[2089] The poor air conditioning is trying to do something ridiculous.

[2090] This place is filled with holes.

[2091] If you look at all these doors right here, you can see straight through.

[2092] There's no insulation in this place.

[2093] Sure.

[2094] There's fucking windows right there.

[2095] The sun comes blazing down on those windows.

[2096] And it's 160 degrees outside.

[2097] And there's rabid bats in Pasadena.

[2098] Have you heard about that shit?

[2099] No. Dude.

[2100] They found.

[2101] a rabid bat in Pasadena.

[2102] Now they're warning the residents.

[2103] In this particular area, where we're at.

[2104] This is viral marketing.

[2105] VAT?

[2106] No. This is viral marketing for a new Batman movie.

[2107] It's all it is.

[2108] This is leading up to Comic -Con.

[2109] Could you imagine those sons of bitches?

[2110] Can you imagine if they started manipulating the news?

[2111] They have.

[2112] I mean, certainly people have.

[2113] Yeah, well, I mean, maybe not releasing a rabid bat, but I mean, releasing the news report about it.

[2114] It would certainly do that.

[2115] We're going to bioengineer some rats and give them a poison and then send them out for the new movie Willard.

[2116] we're pretty sure we know how to stop him they're really attracted to blood we'll leave blood in the street they'll come out we'll kill them all don't worry about it that would do that at Comic -Con they need to just release a patient zero at Comic -Con to promote the new Resident Evil and just let them walk around and know that one guy at Comic -Con if you meet them you'll get a free t -shirt but it'll also give you zombie aids have you seen the giant rats that they found in New York City some of them they found in the Bronx well apparently it's a type of rat that's like a fucking let me go listens.

[2117] Brian isn't here.

[2118] But it's a huge fucking rat.

[2119] Like so big.

[2120] Like you look at it and you'll wait a minute.

[2121] Like Pomeranian size or like Clydesdale size?

[2122] Um, you're talking like like Johnson.

[2123] Really?

[2124] Yeah.

[2125] Like one of those Dotson, New York.

[2126] Yeah, there it is.

[2127] It's on a fucking, it's crazy man. It's on a spear and there's more than one of them.

[2128] One of them they killed.

[2129] Well, they're sending like exterminators into the sewers with spears to kill these rats?

[2130] Look at the size of that.

[2131] You got killed it with a pitchfork.

[2132] Holy shit.

[2133] Yeah, they're a type of rat.

[2134] That's a rat, not a rabbit or ferret or something else.

[2135] It's a natural rat.

[2136] It's apparently a type of rat.

[2137] It's not like a regular street rat that people have had as pets and released.

[2138] And apparently they get fucking big, man. And that's the thing where people have always heard about rats in New York city like there's rats the size of cats in new york city right well they really are they are yeah are those those are cruising around surface streets that's not like miles under the ground in a sewage tunnel or something those guys are running around oh yeah they were they're in houses and shit you know they're digging their way into people's houses jesus yeah there's um other there's another rat that they found uh in a shoe shop and it was insanely big here it's gonna get to the point where cockroaches are this one right here look look the size of this rat they found this rat in a um in a shoe shop in new york city yeah what is holding that on is that like a vacuum uh it looks like a shovel yeah the size of that fucking thing yeah it's a cat insane and meanwhile there's as many of them as there are people right in new york city right in new york city is as many of those i hope they don't ever figure out how to organize oh god if one rat was coming out you'd shit your pants you know i'd freak out if i see a spider the size of a dime but the Yeah, the reality is they're eating something, right?

[2139] So there's got to be, it's like set up, it's set up, they're a part of the ecosystem.

[2140] It's just a part that nobody in those fancy towers wants to ever think about.

[2141] Who, what is, what is prey for that rat?

[2142] Are they eating other giant rats that size?

[2143] Are they just dumpster diving?

[2144] They certainly eat each other.

[2145] I've had rats in my garage eat each other.

[2146] I killed a big rat once, left the body out in the garage.

[2147] It got killed in a trap.

[2148] It was like midnight.

[2149] I didn't feel like I was lazy.

[2150] I didn't feel like cleaning the trap.

[2151] I said, I'll fucking clean it tomorrow.

[2152] I went out there tomorrow and the rat was gone.

[2153] Everything but the tail.

[2154] They had eaten them.

[2155] Jesus.

[2156] They ate his bones, dude.

[2157] They ate everything.

[2158] Wow.

[2159] I mean, it was crazy.

[2160] They just left a little bit of skin and some, like, you know, parts of their feet.

[2161] I mean, it was insane.

[2162] Just enough to identify the body.

[2163] And these were big fucking rats, too.

[2164] The rats in the, I was in Encino in the time, in the hills, you know, above the valley.

[2165] Yeah.

[2166] There's a lot of rats up there.

[2167] God damn, there's a lot of rats.

[2168] And coyotes everywhere.

[2169] I mean, you want to, they're just, those wonderful.

[2170] fuckers they just keep checking in with mother nature to see if we wiped ourselves out yet they're like looking around nope nope lights are still on yeah there's still people here yeah but we're waiting we're waiting we're waiting until we take over again and it's not daisy yet you guys haven't nuked each other okay all right we'll cruise back and then come back out coyotes will run towards the blast when there's a nuclear blast they're going to run towards it just start fucking just eating the first thing they find first first dead person they find have you uh have you heard about this uh it's the the game called Daisy.

[2171] It's an add -on to this very realistic military simulator, Armatou, but this guy made, like, one guy is making a little indie game called Daisy, and you start off on it, it's online, and you're completely defenseless and helpless and on your own, and there's a small zombie outbreak, and there's a lot of human beings running around, and you very quickly have to figure out what is more threatening to you.

[2172] You have to get your gun, get your food, get your ammo, like try to meet up, you can meet up with random people and talk to them, but nine times out of ten, that random person's going to shoot you in the face.

[2173] And that's what so insane is that, like, they built the simulator where it's a zombie outbreak, but just like the real zombie outbreak would be, the real threat are your fellow human beings.

[2174] It has nothing to do with the zombies.

[2175] Really?

[2176] Yeah.

[2177] In fact, one guy blogged, he was in a town, like, clearing it, and these dudes came out of the bush with automatic rifles and, like, camouflage, and the average lifespan for this game is only, like, a handful of hours.

[2178] Most people get in, they scrounge around.

[2179] And just people kill you because they can.

[2180] Yeah, exactly.

[2181] They'll take your supplies once you see that you're good enough.

[2182] So you have to really take care of your character and be stealthy and try to build it up.

[2183] So this guy's in the middle of a city and like six dudes pop out, put him at gumpoint and they said, we're going to kill you unless you become our slave.

[2184] And the guy was like, fuck, I don't want to lose my character.

[2185] And they said, listen, you just follow us around for a few hours.

[2186] We're going to send you into cities to scout for us.

[2187] We'll defend you if you get attacked, but you have to be our slave and do what we say or else we're going to kill you right now.

[2188] And the guy was like, all right, let's do this.

[2189] They made him kneel and pose for photos.

[2190] He was like a catch.

[2191] Like people do this.

[2192] And he said that at the end of it, like he went into cities and scouted for him.

[2193] And he really felt like he was one with the group after a few hours and then like he went and they went to like clear a bus and they got ambushed and slowly one by one they were all getting killed and he felt so bad he was like oh man my group got killed and he that quickly identified with a group of online captors stockholm syndrome yeah but in a matter of minutes in the virtual world of like well uh all right i guess i'll go along with you here we go well you could say that that guy's an idiot well i mean but what else what were his choices play another game it doesn't suck so much That's the choice to log out It's like Twitter in game form Just allowed someone to be a cunt Anonymously You can't have that You know That's that's doesn't work Does it work You can't You can't That's how all online games are That's why 12 year olds call you a cunt And you know teabag you every five seconds Every on game That just veneer of anonymity Let's people eviscerate each other It brings out the worst Yeah it does The worst in human beings Well whenever you have no consequences For your actions Right It's a weird thing that we figured out how to do is that everyone's going to get connected but in doing so there's going to be some sort of a weird period where it's still sort of working itself out where there's anonymity and interaction at the same time and that's sort of where we're at right now yeah we have both anonymity and interaction hyper interaction hyper connectivity really can't even take place anywhere else I mean how else could that even take place except the internet in the in the natural world that never exists I mean through like a fail safe well like at a glory hole in an adult theater Even then.

[2194] You can fuck somebody else and not knew who was on the other side of the divider.

[2195] You could, but I feel your teeth stop, stop, stop, and even then there's consequences.

[2196] Sure.

[2197] You know, you feel bad about your dick sucking job.

[2198] Well, you know, what's funny is I've even weren't a dick and a glory ball.

[2199] What's this world coming to?

[2200] Fucking Twitter.

[2201] You are useless.

[2202] Your dad was right.

[2203] But I have found that like when people will tweet something negative to me, which is constantly, if I reply, if I spend a half a second to reply and let them know that I actually listen to their criticism or, you know, I'm sorry you thought that what I said was terrible.

[2204] but here's why I believe it or whatever.

[2205] Just that ounce of attention actually makes people appalling.

[2206] I mean, certainly there are trolls.

[2207] Certainly there are trolls.

[2208] But I've been pleasantly surprised at how open people are once you kind of call them out on, you're kind of being a dick right now, but I do respect your opinion.

[2209] It's really funny.

[2210] Yeah, sometimes.

[2211] It is possible.

[2212] Yeah, a lot of times they're just trying to get a reaction.

[2213] Certainly.

[2214] But there's a lot of cunts out there that are just jealous of the fact that they know who you are and you don't know who they are.

[2215] So they lash out at you just because of that.

[2216] They see you on the, the show is like he's not even really a geek i'm a real geek he's a fake geek i love that i love the geek test i love that they're so silly they're so silly yeah people love just like things going like if you ever go on a fucking website that reviews uh cars and dudes will go on about how automatic transmissions are for fags dudes will have like like wow automatics are gay they'll like get angry that you don't shift you don't even get to put your hand on a knob how gay is that like really you get so connected to the road it's like it's amazing vibrations anything to be angry about they'll find anything to anything to anything you know many people are mad at us for shitting on windows today i bet we get a hundred a hundred tweets all you macfags you just don't understand what a runtime error is really all about i love it i recently bought a gaming laptop and was like tweeting out about it i'm like this is great and you know not only did i get from the mac fans i got oh you went back to windows you're running a windows machine that's a mistake then from gamers who should be, you know, who should be supporting anybody who's playing PC games.

[2217] A laptop?

[2218] Oh, that must be because you love dick in your eye, right?

[2219] That's why you went for a laptop because you didn't get a tower.

[2220] You didn't build it, bro?

[2221] Yeah, and you didn't, oh, you didn't water cool it?

[2222] Whatever.

[2223] Yeah, you don't even overclock?

[2224] Yeah.

[2225] And some guy got, like, I yelled at the NVIDIA, the graphics card company.

[2226] I was having a problem.

[2227] They weren't supporting the hardware that I bought.

[2228] You spent thousands of dollars on a machine and they don't officially support the hardware that's in it yet.

[2229] Like you couldn't download a driver for it.

[2230] First world fucking problem.

[2231] I'm well aware of that.

[2232] But I was against it and I tweeted it out.

[2233] And I got so many people that were like, dude, download the Linux distro driver, hack the INF file, fucking right click it.

[2234] Here's a five page tutorial on how to do it, fucking get it going.

[2235] And I'm like, really?

[2236] That's not worth my time or money.

[2237] And that's how you're choosing to chastise me?

[2238] I appreciate the people around to that.

[2239] Totally.

[2240] I used to be one of those guys.

[2241] Creating a Linux computer and coding Unix.

[2242] I was a coder, like for sure.

[2243] What did you do?

[2244] What is the most impressive piece of code you ever wrote?

[2245] Well, I shouldn't say that.

[2246] I guess that was more a load balancer and stuff for routers and stuff.

[2247] So I would balance the way packets were distributed in the boxes at an ISP.

[2248] Oh, really?

[2249] So you worked on an ISP balancing packets?

[2250] I mean, that was one of many, yeah, jobs.

[2251] How do you do that?

[2252] What do you do?

[2253] How does that work?

[2254] Go into INF, well, not INF files, but you go into files and basically look at the way packets are routed by IP address and packet type, and you assign priorities to them, and you make sure that the servers can talk to each other.

[2255] so one server isn't taking on everything.

[2256] It's distributing the sort of network load against everything else.

[2257] But, I mean, that was, there would be that.

[2258] There'd be phone tech support.

[2259] They would be writing visual basic installers for Windows 3 -1 and dealing with windsock errors and all sorts of crazy shit.

[2260] When the barrier to entry to get online was actually pretty fucking difficult.

[2261] What year were you online was the first year?

[2262] What AOL was it?

[2263] No, it wasn't an, that's a thing.

[2264] I'm so privileged.

[2265] You have mail.

[2266] I feel so privileged to have not experienced the Internet through Prodigy or AOL at first.

[2267] I used something called the Knowledge Network.

[2268] Prodigy was for serious people.

[2269] Prodigy was for Rush Limbaugh fans.

[2270] Did you really?

[2271] Customer service.

[2272] Okay, we're going to pretend that we're calling in.

[2273] Kevin, you're the caller, and you've got an issue, and you call on.

[2274] Brian, you're the customer service guy.

[2275] It was actually call tech, which was a company that routed Prodigy calls through them.

[2276] And I did Prodigy, and like, what's cool back when call centers were handled in the U .S. still, right?

[2277] Okay, so you call.

[2278] Ready, go.

[2279] Brian said, hello.

[2280] I don't know how you're going to greet me. I mean, I need to be greeted.

[2281] I'm the customer here.

[2282] There needs to be a spiel.

[2283] Hello, my name is Brian.

[2284] I'll do my ticket master one.

[2285] I think you've gone ticket master where American Express is the preferred method of payment.

[2286] This call may be monitored for quality assurance purposes by a supervisor.

[2287] This is Brian speaking.

[2288] How can I help you?

[2289] You can be a dick.

[2290] You prefer American Express right off the bat.

[2291] Yeah.

[2292] the preferred, preferred sponsor.

[2293] What's that all about?

[2294] They're probably paid for that little.

[2295] I'm sure there's a kickback.

[2296] Well, AMX does early, like if certain AMX cards get you early access to certain ticket master events.

[2297] It's all one big promotional kickback madness.

[2298] It was crazy throwing a live event and seeing just how that industry needs to be disrupted so bad.

[2299] In what way?

[2300] For live events, like ticket sales?

[2301] Like we wanted, we were we were charging essentially a $7 ticket for lead up.

[2302] That's what we were asking, which turned into a $25 ticket after convenience fees, processing charges, the house gets their cut, like everything on their ticket.

[2303] $7.

[2304] and it ended up costing $25.

[2305] I have to do that when I do concerts in certain venues, right?

[2306] But I have to feel like that they have to get paid too.

[2307] Why else would they have a theater if they're not getting money?

[2308] Well, the theater is getting a very small fee on that ticket fee, right?

[2309] They're getting a very small amount.

[2310] The theater's going to make their money off the door and off of parking and off of food and beverage, mostly.

[2311] Who's fucking you then?

[2312] Well, you know, I think there's still partners on some of our lead -up tours so we haven't completely divorced ourselves, but I love what Louis C .K. is doing with going completely independent and saying, look, there's certain companies that own venues.

[2313] And in some areas, they own every fucking venue that's worth a damn.

[2314] And there's some bands that have exclusivity with those venues.

[2315] So if they tour, they have to play in one of those venues and use their ticketing systems.

[2316] It's all designed to maximize their profit and make it fucking impossible for you to make one as a small event in a big venue.

[2317] And it needs to be disrupted.

[2318] And the notion of, I guess you could kind of kickstart or something, but there should be a site or service where people can demand an event in their area.

[2319] And if a enough people demand it, then you can take bids from local venues, you know what I mean, to disrupt that model.

[2320] So you're not picking a venue first, trying to guarantee a certain number of ticket sales, and then going on sale and trying to drum up publicity.

[2321] Hmm.

[2322] I could see your point in that if you are doing this, you can force bands to pay, to charge much more.

[2323] But is it because the people, they have contracts to keep steady work coming in?

[2324] because otherwise, I mean, how much steady work is going to come into these theaters?

[2325] I don't know how that business really works.

[2326] I think it's, I think they have, well, I shouldn't say half the time.

[2327] I really don't know the numbers there, but I have those metrics shake out.

[2328] But I believe they are purchasing venues.

[2329] But like the ticket agency.

[2330] Like they own the venue.

[2331] Don't they have agreements with like talent agencies?

[2332] I mean, how do they work all that?

[2333] Sometimes.

[2334] Yeah, I don't know what specifics I could get into.

[2335] Yeah.

[2336] Yeah, it's.

[2337] But what do you think specifically should be disrupted?

[2338] You think that it's too difficult, it's too easy to control the market?

[2339] Is that what it is?

[2340] Yeah, well, I mean, you're locked out.

[2341] If you want to play a certain type of venue in certain cities, you have no choice but to go with a certain ticketing agency that has their own built -in fees and system.

[2342] Because the ticketing agency has a deal with the venue.

[2343] They have an agreement with the venues.

[2344] Or sometimes they own the venues.

[2345] But don't you think that's because they can provide the acts to the venue?

[2346] Isn't that the idea behind it?

[2347] Sometimes, but, you know, as an independent who isn't signed on with that, you still have to play that game.

[2348] You know what I mean?

[2349] I got you don't have a choice.

[2350] You literally don't have a choice in certain areas with certain venues.

[2351] But what I think needs to be disrupted is the notion of we're going like if you're going to go tour you pick your dates and your clubs probably based off of metric ton of data or off of Twitter.

[2352] And then you say we're going to go to these things and you go on sale and you have to promote and hope you sell those tickets and hope that goes through.

[2353] I think there needs to be a Kickstarter style model where people can within like you can pick an area and so within you set a radius 100 miles 200 miles.

[2354] I want to throw an event here describe your event.

[2355] And then as people like on Facebook or whatever, or they donate.

[2356] I'm going to spend $20 on that event for a little extra bonus and become an evangelist of your brand or of your tour.

[2357] So I'm going to sign up more people.

[2358] And I'm incentivized to sign up people.

[2359] I think you can see what the demand is in an area first.

[2360] Incentivize early adopters to raise publicity about your event by giving them kickbacks or stickers or extra merch or whatever for being an evangelist.

[2361] And that way when you launch the tour, you already know you've pre -sold X amount in those areas because people have committed.

[2362] So it's not like Kickstarter for touring.

[2363] that's an interesting idea yeah that's a great idea that's what i want to do that's what you want to do sure i want to do and again and again you said it live yeah no it's doing it well here's the thing i you know what i started to do it actually like uh i started to do it and and just realized i have too many plates spinning right now so if someone wants to do that awesome i hope you do i'd love to use that service and if you want me on the advisory board fuck yeah but i just don't have the you know i'm i got a lot of plates spinning so but wouldn't that be a great service is is the big venues and nice places they're all locked up.

[2364] Pretty much.

[2365] Yeah, pretty much.

[2366] And, yeah, I mean, you have to go with, there's ticket master venues.

[2367] So if you want to play at a certain venue, you're paying Ticketmaster.

[2368] That's happening.

[2369] Didn't, who was the band that tried to, Seattle, what the fuck?

[2370] Pearl Jam.

[2371] Pearl Jam.

[2372] They went to stop that, right?

[2373] Yeah.

[2374] And they, I mean, they did for their fans, but, you know, that's like Radiohead saying, anybody can release an album for free online.

[2375] It's like, well, you can if you've reached a certain size.

[2376] Right.

[2377] You know, if you're Pearl Jam, you can fight back against Ticketmaster.

[2378] If you're trying to throw a night of comedy together or throw together a nerd carnival and you have to play by their rules.

[2379] Right, right, right.

[2380] Yeah, it's wild.

[2381] That's interesting.

[2382] Well, it's hard to run a fucking venue, I'd imagine, man. What a thankless gig.

[2383] Have a bunch of assholes come and put on fucking shows at your place.

[2384] Really?

[2385] Cups behind.

[2386] Well, I mean, that's part of you, I mean, you're paying for someone to clean up their venue.

[2387] You're always paying for that.

[2388] It's not like, you know, that's built in.

[2389] That's why the venue should get their charge If they're throwing the event there, then sure.

[2390] You're paying for them to staff people to clean it up and make sure microphones work and lights work.

[2391] I mean, that's what you're paying for.

[2392] But $17 for a convenience fee, there's nothing convenient about that.

[2393] What is the convenience fee?

[2394] It all depends.

[2395] It's a sliding scale.

[2396] On a certain price ticket, there's a built -in fee plus a percentage.

[2397] So you have to price your tickets at a certain way so that you don't end up fucking everybody else over and you end up losing money on that front.

[2398] That sounds like if you were more successful, though, and you sold more tickets, you wouldn't have that problem.

[2399] You can still make money.

[2400] You can't, look, you can certainly make money off ticket sales.

[2401] That's absolutely true.

[2402] How did Ticketmaster and how all these companies lock everything down like this?

[2403] Well, at one point in time, I think they were very convenient and they were sort of the only game.

[2404] And then they started going to events and doing deals with them.

[2405] You're going to sell your tickets through Ticketmaster and nobody else.

[2406] And look, we're online and we're easy and we're great and customers love it.

[2407] And then once that was entrenched and they bought their deals and did deals with people who own the venues, then they lock, yeah.

[2408] How do they keep power?

[2409] I mean, I think it's a snow.

[2410] there's certainly companies that are trying to disrupt it like brown paper tickets they're trying to do independent ticketing for events that's what i used for the last one yeah there's in uh stanhelp uses that too yeah there's there's there's a lot of companies that are trying to disrupt that space but to throw events at certain venues granted they're nice venues they're great venues right that's why we chose club noki i mean it was phenomenal great venue and i loved everybody that worked there it was a great experience but it's just unfortunate that you want to charge seven dollars for something and because of the the system that's entrenched around it you end up charging 25 that's sad that hurts you know that's that's triple what we want to charge you know right it's still only 25 bucks stop complaining so lead up is going to be like people are going to perform you're going to have i want it to be a carnival a true carnival atmosphere i want you to be able to play ski ball are you going to wear a bowtire be weird are you going to be a weird host i'm going to put on that that green suit with the question marks on it yes like like either like the government or the guy that's selling your things on the steps of the government the question mark two face guy well hello nerds let me pander to you for an hour yeah you're gonna have to do something to stand out as the promoter perhaps something with feathers would you be interested in wearing a boa absolutely yeah i would i would rock a i would rock a boa on stage you know like how many guys who are the host have to like do something flamboyant like have a cigarette a cigarette holder or that's him he's the host right see him with the cigarette and the cigarette holder he's our host.

[2411] I love how we're opening this year's tour.

[2412] Mike Realm's coming along, so I'm going to play drums with him for a little bit of his set.

[2413] Mike Realm is a phenomenal Vijay.

[2414] He's one of the guys that spin those visuals.

[2415] He's closed the Olympics.

[2416] He's toured with the Blue Man group.

[2417] Wow, they have pro -V -J?

[2418] Like, he's the Tiesto of VJs?

[2419] Is that what is that safe to say?

[2420] I think so.

[2421] I'd put him on that part.

[2422] Yeah, absolutely.

[2423] He does remixes for, oh, you're getting hypnotized by our first lead -up promo.

[2424] He's one of those guys that will cut all the trailers for official movies and films and stuff like that, all the remix trailers.

[2425] But we're opening it up with that old HBO 80s theme.

[2426] You know, like HBO would play before every movie where you'd fly over the city and then you'd fly into the letters.

[2427] I don't even remember that.

[2428] Oh, my God, that shit up.

[2429] It's so good.

[2430] It's one of my favorite creepy memories.

[2431] And the documentary on them making that is brilliant.

[2432] They were like, they invested so much money in building a little stop motion animated town that the camera could fly over and they comped in the average family watching TV.

[2433] like gathering around to watch HBO and the camera flies over the city and goes into the stars it was a beautiful piece of advertising you need to explain to me how you don't like Game of Thrones because I just don't understand you I guess I gotta give it three episodes because I watched the first one and it was a lot of talking and you know A lot of people said the same thing and it took like five episodes for some people I know I was in the minority a lot of people got upset about that but those people get upset about Windows users amazing this defines yeah this is my childhood over here gather around kids, HBO time.

[2434] So cool back in the day.

[2435] Great sound design, the cars honking.

[2436] A little bus on a pull string.

[2437] It's a fake town.

[2438] They had a whole fake town.

[2439] Hell yeah, they did.

[2440] Beetlejuice is going to pop out of one of those buildings.

[2441] Any second.

[2442] The buildup, here we go.

[2443] Some dude at a synth in the studio is rocking it right now.

[2444] 80s.

[2445] Whoa.

[2446] Oh my God.

[2447] Look at the 3D.

[2448] Flying HBO spaceship.

[2449] Wait, let's enter it, board it.

[2450] Let's go into the zero.

[2451] Yeah, it's going to O. Wow.

[2452] HBO feature presentation.

[2453] That's like orgasm.

[2454] It's really orgasm.

[2455] The fractory period right there.

[2456] I got to tell you that I have forgotten about that on 100 % completely.

[2457] That was like watching.

[2458] though like did it bring it back sort of barely remember isn't that great but that was uh something that had been a race for my mind fuck yeah we're bringing that back we're doing uh we're doing a hardcore electronica double base just oh madness remix of that yeah that's what we're gonna open this fuck yeah wow so you're gonna you're gonna have this you're gonna have the vj you're gonna have what podcasts are gonna perform uh well right now i'm just sort of leading the night like uh we got epic meal times coming with us for most of the tour harley and the guys so we're gonna a brilliant YouTube series where guys like make like 900 ,000 calorie burgers and pizzas or they'll go to every fast food restaurant and get one of everything on the menu, roll it up into a deep fried dough thing and then eat it and put Jack Daniels all over it.

[2459] It's brilliant.

[2460] There's epic music behind it.

[2461] The cuts are great.

[2462] They're buying 40 pounds of bacon at the supermarket, filling up the shopping cart.

[2463] And then just make these high caloric things and just eat them.

[2464] So Harley came out at the first one and we interviewed him and then we brought, we built like a, you know.

[2465] It's on YouTube.

[2466] Yeah.

[2467] Oh, it's a great series on.

[2468] What's better that, or man versus food?

[2469] I don't do man versus food.

[2470] I do, uh, I do, is it too mainstream for you?

[2471] No, no, no, no, I do Hell's Kitchen.

[2472] Hell's Kitchen is about as mainstream as it gets, and I fucking love that show.

[2473] It's one of my favorite shows.

[2474] Gordon Ramsey getting pissed off about somebody's risotto is the greatest moment in my life.

[2475] I look forward to them making fucking, uh...

[2476] How horrible must it be for those dudes to go to a, you're working at a restaurant, some shit restaurant.

[2477] You've been working at the same shit restaurant forever.

[2478] It's always been shit.

[2479] You just fucking put out your shitty meatloaf.

[2480] You don't even think about it.

[2481] And all of a sudden, Gordon Ramsey shows, right?

[2482] Yeah, that's kitchen nightmares.

[2483] Oh, my God.

[2484] I love that.

[2485] I love how every single restaurant owner on Kitchen Nightmares truly believes they're not going to get raped by Gordon Ramsey.

[2486] And then they're just crying in the kitchen while he's powering into them over the oven.

[2487] We got a good salad.

[2488] We got a good dressing on a salad.

[2489] These are good croutons.

[2490] Where do you stole the salad?

[2491] Oh, the trunk of my car?

[2492] We put ice in there once a week when we get new lettuce.

[2493] And they pull up like those new moldy things out of the refrigerator.

[2494] It's just fur.

[2495] It looks like cats mixed with lettuce.

[2496] How much of that is staged?

[2497] none of it's staged I don't know no no kitchen nightmares definitely not staged I actually like pawn stars and stuff is staged but I mean how many shitty disgusting restaurants are there in LA alone that have C's in the window where you know there's just sour cream under a pile of dead cats in the kitchen like that shit exists right now that's where we store it that's where grandpa used to yeah what do you have to do to get a D have you ever seen a D I ate at a Dairy queen with a C once it was my first week ever smoking pot and I we made a trip five mile walk to a Dairy Queen with a C because I decided an orio blizzard was our fucking Holy Grail.

[2498] And I shat myself senseless.

[2499] Did you really?

[2500] Literally.

[2501] Oh yeah.

[2502] Immediately when I, we walked back and we were sober.

[2503] And I was like, that was a, whoa, that was a trek.

[2504] And then immediately everybody who ate there, three other guys were like, uh, later, bro.

[2505] Everyone got sick.

[2506] Everybody, just, just screaming assholes.

[2507] Wow.

[2508] A sea.

[2509] You have to really go out of your way to get a sea.

[2510] It's usually Asian restaurants I've noticed.

[2511] And that's not to be racist or anything.

[2512] It's just that, that's what I've been.

[2513] Because I'm, like, addicted to looking at the letters, and almost every time I look, it's always an Asian restaurant that's like a B or C. People beat the drum for deregulation on everything, and yet I wouldn't need it at a restaurant, half the restaurants if I didn't believe that there was a solid blue letter in the window that was somehow certified and that someone was looking out for that.

[2514] The fact that we don't want to monitor what goes into our food and how it's made and why it's made.

[2515] Like people that are against labeling foods.

[2516] Oh, those are assholes.

[2517] Like the genetically modified foods.

[2518] They're like, you can't put that on the lay?

[2519] Why the fuck can't you put it on the label?

[2520] Well, they're fighting it now.

[2521] They're fighting a tooth and nail.

[2522] GMO is scary stuff, man. It's all real.

[2523] I mean, some of it can certainly help people.

[2524] Sure.

[2525] But some of it is real experimental.

[2526] They don't know what the fuck's going to happen in 50 years with this shit.

[2527] They're like, look, we tried it on a couple rats.

[2528] Those rats did all right.

[2529] We think it's safe now.

[2530] Cross -pollination of other people's plants.

[2531] You know, their genetically modified plants are getting into other people's crops.

[2532] And sometimes these people are getting sued for.

[2533] Yeah, your Monsato corn or your seed flu across their.

[2534] the highway, and now I have your trademark corn growing in my field?

[2535] What?

[2536] Monsanto created Agent Orange, created DDT.

[2537] Like, they created some seriously scary shit before they started fucking around with genetically modified foods.

[2538] Well, that's the really scary shit.

[2539] Yeah, yeah.

[2540] That's what's crazy.

[2541] And, well, not only that, there was speculation for a long time that they bought Blackwater.

[2542] You mean XI?

[2543] XI.

[2544] I love how quickly a name change.

[2545] They changed again.

[2546] Yeah, they did.

[2547] Agency or something like that.

[2548] They began.

[2549] Yeah, something along those lines.

[2550] But they were sold by someone, and the speculation was that they were sold by Blackwater.

[2551] They were sold through some private corporation.

[2552] And that was, like, could you imagine if Monsanto bought Blackwater?

[2553] Like, what?

[2554] If they bought their own mercenary group?

[2555] Because, you know, they face, like, some serious resistance in other countries.

[2556] Oh, yeah.

[2557] Especially in India, where in India, something like every 30 seconds, a farmer commits suicide in India because he owes money to Monsanto.

[2558] Hundreds of thousands of farmers have committed suicide.

[2559] Because they're involved in debts.

[2560] They can't pay off and they just get fucked.

[2561] I don't know why they have to make these deals with Monsanto.

[2562] I don't know the intricacies of the corruption and how it's pulled off, but they develop this relationship or these people, that's where they're getting their seeds from.

[2563] And they have to get their seeds from every year.

[2564] You know, and you have to do it.

[2565] Well, isn't it that they sell them like a bacteria resistance strain or a roundup ready style strain and they put that in, but it ends up killing other things or ends up generating its own problems.

[2566] So now they've got to buy the solution from Monsato as well.

[2567] Like, isn't that how that process works, that they bury themselves in debt?

[2568] I don't know.

[2569] I don't know.

[2570] But there's a lot of issues to it.

[2571] I mean, if you can go and read it, I get sad and I just stop reading it and go to other things.

[2572] When you hear that every 30 seconds a farmer's committing suicide because of it, well, in Brazil, Brazil just sued Monsanto.

[2573] And Brazilian farmers won.

[2574] They won.

[2575] Billions.

[2576] I mean, what does that mean?

[2577] I mean, does it mean that we have to go to fucking Brazil to get good food?

[2578] Right.

[2579] It means one less caviar ski do for somebody at Monsato who has already got billions of dollars.

[2580] Brazil might not be a bad place to live When the shit hits the fan I would be down I love Brazil I'll just gotta get a fucking book On Portuguese Do you speak?

[2581] I don't Your dad's Portuguese He is yeah I told you he wears the bottle of Jakar He's definitely Portuguese He's got thick black chest hair With like giant golden eagles And crosses dangling into it Oh yeah and a great petto stash The Amber Alert is strong with him Really love him Yeah he's full on Portuguese And we'll shout it with bread rules At his mouth You know at family dinners Has he been to Brazil Um, he's from the, uh, Azor Islands.

[2582] Oh, really?

[2583] Yeah, I saw a whole special, Anthony Bourdain, uh, went there.

[2584] Great cuisine there.

[2585] Yeah, it's supposed to be amazing.

[2586] Yeah, amazing.

[2587] It's, uh, it's a trek that I need to take, but I want to take a road trip to Brazil.

[2588] Why did so many Portuguese move to Massachusetts in Rhode Island?

[2589] What the hell's that about?

[2590] I don't know.

[2591] Was it proximity?

[2592] Oh, I'm just getting, is it?

[2593] The first place you fly into?

[2594] Massive amount live in Fall River, Massachusetts.

[2595] Fall River, Massachusetts is a, do they have like a lot of, a lot of Godi, beated sweaters.

[2596] Because that's why they would go.

[2597] A bunch of different spots in Rhode Island.

[2598] There was like whole towns where people talk Portuguese in Rhode Island.

[2599] Like Woonsocket, I think that was it.

[2600] Woonsocket was a part of Rhode Island where you would go and it was like a Portuguese fishing village.

[2601] Crazy.

[2602] Yeah, I never got, are you like in touch, like your heritage?

[2603] Are you really in touch with your heritage and your roots and your ethnicities and all that chest?

[2604] 10 minutes where we have to wrap this on.

[2605] Oh shit.

[2606] Three hours somehow or another.

[2607] it gets too much time on the audio and fucks out on the audience i'm like i can see that well that too jesus christ we've been rambling forever i would by the way sincerely if you let's figure out if you want to come on and do if you want to try your uh your idea of doing like a q and a kind of thing if you want to do that one of our shows figure something like that out but it would it would have to be you know in a weekend i have off certainly i mean that's the problem most weekends i'm doing something gotcha but i'm trying to do less this year i've done less this year i stopped doing I don't do all the shows for the UFC anymore.

[2608] I used to do all the pay -per -views.

[2609] Then I would do the Spike shows.

[2610] And then they sold to FX and Fox, and then they have these fuel shows.

[2611] And so I don't do any of those.

[2612] I only do Fox and pay -per -view.

[2613] So I miss all, like, there's a show tomorrow night.

[2614] There's one that's going on tonight in San Jose.

[2615] So the way in, rather, was today.

[2616] The fights are tomorrow night.

[2617] So I'm missing that one.

[2618] You're going to go to it?

[2619] No, no, no, no. So I'm trying to travel less.

[2620] Yeah.

[2621] I'm trying to just do.

[2622] Are you doing that?

[2623] So you can, what are you focusing that time on?

[2624] Are you focusing the time on?

[2625] Comedy and this.

[2626] Podcasts and comedy.

[2627] It's more fun to me. It's like the podcast, one of the things that's happened from the podcast is somehow or now that we've developed this gigantic group of people that are really into the podcast and they're rabid.

[2628] I'm one of them.

[2629] Oh, thanks, man. Absolutely.

[2630] I listen to it all the fucking time.

[2631] Oh, thanks.

[2632] Yeah.

[2633] So we owe them.

[2634] You know, we're linked.

[2635] I mean, they've been nice to us and we're the only ones who can make this podcast.

[2636] So we owe them to keep.

[2637] doing this and it doesn't even feel like like an obligation to me it feels like an obsession like i fucking love it you know like it's like yesterday we had tommy chang today we got you tomorrow we got this adam kokesh guy from uh adam versus the man i hope i'm saying his last name right um but it's um it's fun it's interesting i'm learning a lot about i'm learning a lot about fucking human beings i'm learning a lot listening to different people's stories and experiences What is, if I may, like, what do you think the overall takeaway has been?

[2638] Because you've chatted with some diverse groups of people and had, you know, had some interesting, like, topics of conversation that repeat themselves from person to person.

[2639] Is there a common thread that has surprised you at all, or is it pretty much what you figured when you were getting into it in terms of the way humans think, operate, communicate?

[2640] It surprised me how much positivity can be generated inside of one group.

[2641] That's what surprised me, because that wasn't an intention.

[2642] It wasn't an intention to start this thing and have all.

[2643] these people telling me that it changes her life and they've become this really positive person and they've just started to cut out all the negative bullshit in their life and try to get a job that they really want and try to be healthy.

[2644] I never expected any of that.

[2645] That has been the most shocking storyline through the whole thing.

[2646] This is how I live my life.

[2647] And I've lived my life that way to try to manage my own reality and to try to live a happy existence.

[2648] And what I've learned over the years is that the nicer you are to people, the happier you are.

[2649] The more nice people you're around the happier your life would be and if you all just commit i've been a cunt in my life i think we all have you know had shitty moments where we just didn't have good control over our emotions or our state of mind or our tension level or whatever the fuck it was it made you lash out when you shouldn't have or insulted someone when you could have avoided it or whatever the fuck it is that made you a cunty person at the moment we've all done that so it's we can all know that it's possible to aspire to a higher state of consciousness to a higher state of behavior a higher level of behavior and that it makes you a better person and it enriches your environment like we all know the one person like everybody has a friend that's like a joy to be around and he's like like Joey Dia is like a life of a party type dude like you want to be around him why because he makes you feel good because it's good feelings and you know we all should have something like that we all should have you know aspects of ourselves that we put out there that people like and that they do the same and then we all benefit from each other we all get inspired by each other and we all grow together and I think too many people are out there in this world thinking you know I'm gonna fucking be the baddest motherfucker and I'm gonna fucking be the man and no one's ever sold as many tickets as me and no one's ever sold as many records as me and no one's ever had as many downloads as me or whatever it is.

[2650] Your shit sucks because A I either can't make it myself or B I'm trying to make it and I'm insecure that it's better than my shit so your shit sucks.

[2651] Not your tastes.

[2652] There's a lot of music that is amazing that I don't like you know I know classical music is amazing but i don't listen to it you know it's very the only time i ever listen to classic music is i'll put it in the background occasionally when i write i'll have like a little classical music in the background if i feel like i'm into it but for the most part i like i like i like rock i like old school rock i like like zepplin i like the doors how do you feel about dubstep i'm not really into it oh man have you heard the squeallex's doors yeah sounds like it's cool sounds cool to me it's like it's like it's new metal to me it has the aggression a feeling that old metal used to give me. To me, it's nowhere.

[2653] Like, if it sounds like 40 Roomba's raping Robocop, I'm in.

[2654] It's not that I don't like it.

[2655] It's just that I prefer songs.

[2656] I prefer, like, the Battle of Curtis Lowe to that.

[2657] You know what I mean?

[2658] Fair enough.

[2659] If I have to listen, I've got to listen to something.

[2660] Sure.

[2661] You know, I can't listen to everything.

[2662] I don't have the time.

[2663] You know what I'm saying?

[2664] Kevin Pereira.

[2665] I love the fact that you have the balls to fucking jump off that show.

[2666] Dude, it's a very successful show.

[2667] You're a starter of it, the creator of it.

[2668] Thank you.

[2669] And you had the balls to just bail, right in the middle of it.

[2670] That was a tough decision.

[2671] I'm sure it was.

[2672] But it's the right one.

[2673] You're a bad motherfucker, dude.

[2674] You can do anything you want.

[2675] Oh, thanks, man. You're going to wind up probably, you're probably better off of the internet anyway, you know?

[2676] If you ever need any help, ever promoting anything, you're in.

[2677] Thank you, man. And a drop of a hat, you just let us know.

[2678] We'll come here in the middle of the night, man. We'll do whatever the fuck we need to do.

[2679] Appreciate it.

[2680] Thank you, man. Always a pleasure.

[2681] We'll figure out a lead -up thing.

[2682] We'll figure something out.

[2683] Cool.

[2684] We'll make something happen, you dirty bitches out there in cyberspace.

[2685] Come on.

[2686] Come on.

[2687] Comic -com.

[2688] Yeah, we'll be there Friday night at Comic -Con.

[2689] There'll be Ari Shafir, Brian Redband, Sam Tripoli, and Mu.

[2690] Let me look up if you can.

[2691] I actually should probably plug on supercreative.

[2692] TV.

[2693] You can find a link to our Twitter account.

[2694] I'm not going to explain it.

[2695] And if you want to follow Kevin on Twitter, don't try to spell his name correctly.

[2696] Go to my Twitter.

[2697] Find the link for K -P -E -R -E -I -R -A, and then follow that.

[2698] But we're doing flash mob beer parties at Comic -Con.

[2699] So if you follow us on Twitter, I'm going to tweet out our GPS location.

[2700] And for like an hour at that bar, the drinks are on me. Oh, you're silly, silly, man. Please follow.

[2701] It's going to get insane.

[2702] So thank you for let me say that.

[2703] That's beautiful.

[2704] Oh, please.

[2705] So Friday night at ComicCom will be at the American Comedy Company in San Diego.

[2706] That's what it's called?

[2707] American Comedy Company.

[2708] I'll be there Thursday.

[2709] Joe will be there Friday, and we have a naughty show Saturday.

[2710] So tickets are on sale at Def Squad .tv.

[2711] Nottie shows are very fun, too.

[2712] If you've never been to one, they're awesome.

[2713] And this one, he'll have Tara Patrick, the great Terra.

[2714] Patrick there.

[2715] All right.

[2716] That's the end of this fucking show.

[2717] Ice House tomorrow night.

[2718] That's right.

[2719] Tomorrow night we have a super show at the Ice House.

[2720] This will sell out is in the main room.

[2721] So if you want to get tickets, go to Ice House Comedy .com.

[2722] It is Dom Irera, Greg Fitzsimmons, Ari Sheffir, Brian Redband, Iko Tanaka, Ryan Mervis.

[2723] Ryan Mervis and me. Jesus.

[2724] And, yeah, and it's only 15 bucks.

[2725] And we hang around afterwards and we take pictures.

[2726] And we do a podcast that goes on.

[2727] While the show is going on, we will be in the green room, preparing and fuck it around, and we have a podcast with all the comics together.

[2728] And in my opinion, it's one of the best podcasts we do.

[2729] It's called The Ice House Chronicles, and it's only available on Desquod.

[2730] Desquad is our label on iTunes for all of Brian's podcasts.

[2731] Brian has.

[2732] How many different podcasts you have over there now?

[2733] I'm doing about nine right now.

[2734] Jesus, son!

[2735] What the fuck are you trying to do?

[2736] Take all these people's time.

[2737] Kill my self Anyway A lot of them are very funny But the Ice House Chronicles is my favorite It's just a great hang It's a real green room experience Is what it is It's us and all of our favorite friends Who are fucking hilariously funny And every time people in town Like I just got a request for Tom Rhodes He wanted to come to this one He was hoping we had one on Friday He didn't know because he's in L .A It's like people are hearing about them They want to be a part of them They're really fun And they're only available on iTunes Under the Death Squad label So go there Go to Death Squad to dot TV, buy yourself a Hitler cat or Charlie Chaplin trademarked trademarked oh this is one of my higher primate shirts this is one of my sillier ones but I have a t -shirt company that I never talk about it's higher primate if you go to higher dash primate .com it's all like monkeys and psychedelic drugs and I've got some new designs coming in and got a bunch of new things happening and all that will be done when my new website is done which is also the answer to when my new comedy special will be released I'm doing it Louis CK style It'll all be done through my website, and it'll all be done when my website's released.

[2738] It's to be within the next couple of months.

[2739] All right, that's it, you dirty bitches.

[2740] Thanks to the flashlight.

[2741] Go to Joe Rogan.

[2742] Click on the link, enter in the code name Rogan.

[2743] Save yourself 15 % off.

[2744] Number one, sex, to are for men.

[2745] Thanks to Onet .com.

[2746] Makers of Alpha Brain, here's my bitches.

[2747] I ain't playing.

[2748] I take the shit before anything I do that's important because I'm not that smart on my own.

[2749] I need help.

[2750] I need coffee.

[2751] I got two mountain dues here.

[2752] I'm not fucking around.

[2753] All right, my friends, we'll see you tomorrow with the star of Adam versus the man, a very controversial and militant sort of an internet program that I love the fuck out of.

[2754] So we're going to have a great time tomorrow as well.

[2755] Next week, we got, shit, I got a lot of things.

[2756] I'll tell you guys later.

[2757] All right, go to onit .com, use the code name Rogan, save yourself 10 % off any of the supplements, and go get yourself some kettlebells so you can be a manly man. All right?

[2758] Holla.