#1604 - Jamar Neighbors

[0] Joe Rogan podcast, checking out.

[1] The Joe Rogan Experience.

[2] Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.

[3] Salute, my brother.

[4] Yes, sir.

[5] So good to see you.

[6] Man, you too, bro.

[7] Thug.

[8] brings me back to the comedy store.

[9] Oh, the days, I'm going to be one day.

[10] I'm going to be looking back on those days and just going, what a lucky time we had there.

[11] Yeah.

[12] You know, we were so lucky.

[13] So lucky to be in that spot at that time and that moment in history.

[14] Yeah, dude, some guy wanted me to write something about, like, a haunted comedy club.

[15] So, like, one of the last days that I was out there before I came out here.

[16] So I walked all the way down the street, and then I walked all the way to the comedy store.

[17] This clothes is shut down and it's abandoned.

[18] It is.

[19] And I was just looking at the whole place taking it in, and I was just like, damn.

[20] I was like, I just walked off.

[21] I looked at my name and I was up there like, damn, man, I worked so hard to get that shit on there.

[22] And I just walked off.

[23] I took nothing like, like nothing like back to go right about.

[24] And I was just like, damn, I worked so hard to get that.

[25] All right.

[26] Yeah, getting your name up on the wall that place is like, I mean, for a comedian, it's like, that's the stamp.

[27] Hell yeah.

[28] You got the stamp.

[29] Hell yeah.

[30] And they wouldn't pass me for the longest, dude.

[31] Like, oh, man, so I started going there at 19, and...

[32] When you're 19 years old?

[33] Yeah, yeah, I've been on comedy for, like, 17 years.

[34] What year was it when you got passed?

[35] Probably, like, 2004, like, 2014, maybe.

[36] Yeah.

[37] So that was, like, right when I was coming back.

[38] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[39] And they would never pass...

[40] I remember doing a shellcase in front of Mitzi.

[41] It did a showcase from a Mitzi.

[42] This is when Mittie came in.

[43] She was all like, you know, much respect, like the crap.

[44] It was really like.

[45] And they sat her in the back.

[46] And everybody was like, oh, my God, it's Mitch.

[47] Oh, my God, it's Mitchie.

[48] We all went up and we all did our sets.

[49] Like, it was me. It was Gerard.

[50] It was Ansel Bowers.

[51] It was Josh Adam.

[52] It was like all of us.

[53] And then so we all go up and do our sets and shit.

[54] And mind you, like, this is an open mic.

[55] So I go up.

[56] and the first joke I said I was up to like I was like yeah man I was like I was like Michael Jackson could fuck anybody he wants to you know what I was like I was like you know before before everybody was doing that type of joke I was really like I was really like Michael Jackson do whatever fuck you want to do and then and then Mitzie gets up and walks out right she walks out and then I thought that my friend in back I mean, my friend Angelo walked her because he went up after me and then the next day, remember Tommy?

[57] Yeah.

[58] The next day, Tommy was after like, what in the fuck did you think you were doing?

[59] And I was like, me, he was, I was like, I was doing my stand -up.

[60] I was like, I was like, I was doing my stand -up.

[61] I was like, I was only four people in.

[62] He was like, you went dirty, bro.

[63] It was only 6 o 'clock.

[64] Mitzie called you a pig.

[65] And I'm so, and I was like, you went dirty, it was only 6 o 'clock.

[66] like this is an hour when you could tell non -dirty jokes.

[67] It's fucked up because I was like, I talk like this all the time.

[68] I was like three o 'clock in the morning, like nine o 'clock, no matter.

[69] That's hilarious.

[70] So I walked Mitzie, and that's one of the reason it took me forever to get past because they didn't trust my ass.

[71] If she didn't like you, she got mad for a long time.

[72] She held a grudge.

[73] You had to, like, earn your spot back.

[74] You had to hang out there forever.

[75] So, yeah.

[76] So then my friend started.

[77] started getting past Willie Hunter and Gerard got passed and I was still in development like in the belly room they still passed me to the belly room and then so I would work in there and stuff like that and then and then I would go up like I would start coming back and I went up and everything like that and I would kill every fucking time like during the open mic and during like the friends of family part and I got frustrated because all my friends I got frustrated because all my friends were getting past and I was like, man, I'm funny as fuck, too.

[78] You know, like, what the fuck?

[79] So every time after I would, I would kill at the store, I would reach out, I would look at Tommy in the booth.

[80] And I'd be like, yo, Tommy.

[81] I'm like, you see what I just did in here?

[82] I was like, you passing me this week?

[83] And then he'd be like, he'd be like, he was just laughing the back.

[84] And I'd be like, okay.

[85] And I was like, I'll be back next week and we'll do it again.

[86] Oh, man. When he had power over the store, that was a terrible position.

[87] Terrible.

[88] To have an insane person.

[89] in charge of running the greatest comedy club the world's ever known?

[90] Yeah, man. But I appreciate, I actually appreciate how hard he made it for me, though.

[91] You know what I'm saying?

[92] Adversity makes you stronger if you do stick it out.

[93] But when you're a young comic and your friends are doing well and you're not, I remember when I was an open micer, I was dirty.

[94] And the other guys that were clean started to get work as hosts in town.

[95] And I could only get like road gigs.

[96] Yeah.

[97] I remember being so jealous.

[98] Like, God, why can I get in that?

[99] I got go to see them.

[100] I'd be hanging out with them.

[101] I'd go to see them in a club.

[102] And they would host in front of like 300 super polite people at a really nice club.

[103] Everyone was seated and laughing at everything.

[104] And I would go to these dirty bars in New Hampshire.

[105] Yeah.

[106] And I was like, oh, my God.

[107] I'm taking a bad path.

[108] Like, like, my friends would get, like, shows and stuff.

[109] but like and like she was like Gerad it was like Angelo Bowers and like all these guys because they they came like they came on the scene those guys came on the scene already knowing who they were like I was more of like I was still figuring it out kind of sort of and all this stuff like I'm a lot to figure out for myself too you know what I'm saying so I'm like so I was like damn man nobody would book me I'd be like man fuck so what I would do is I would go on Craigslist and I would I would book bringer shows, but I would never bring anybody, and that's how I would get my shows.

[110] They'd be like, oh, are you going to bring 15 people?

[111] I'm like, yeah, I'm going to bring 15 people, and I show up and I bring nobody.

[112] But they would still let me go up, and I was like, all right, well, this is what's going to happen.

[113] You're not going to bring anybody, but what you're going to do is you're going to go up there.

[114] Explain a bringer show to people, because a lot of people don't know what a bringer show is.

[115] So a bringer show is like, when you're like a younger comic and you want to do shows and stuff, there are promoters who are like, hey, you can do, you can do, you can do, You can do a show here in the belly room, but you have to bring 20 people, right?

[116] Was it that many?

[117] Is it 20?

[118] Sometimes it'd be 20.

[119] Sometimes it'd be 15.

[120] But the belly room only seats like 80.

[121] Yeah.

[122] And some people...

[123] What's my, Jamie?

[124] When I was doing music coming up, just like this, the place we used to play would make us sell 100 tickets to play.

[125] What?

[126] Yeah.

[127] And here's what they used to do.

[128] They used to say shit like, they used to say shit like, listen.

[129] He was like, this is comedy.

[130] Every show is a bringer's show.

[131] You know what I'm saying?

[132] He's like, you're going to have to bring people for the rest of your life.

[133] You know what I'm saying?

[134] And I was up to like, nigger, my grandma is not going to come out to every single fucking show.

[135] Like, I don't know 20 people.

[136] That's a crazy number.

[137] That's a crazy number.

[138] They didn't have that in Boston when I started out.

[139] They just had open mic nights and people either came or they can't.

[140] Yeah.

[141] See, over there, I haven't done, no, I've done Boston like one time, but I haven't done like their scene.

[142] and um what'd you do out there uh i did i did a show did you do laugh boston that club i think it was a independent show that like black thought was running or so no no no no that's philly no no okay i've never done boston oh okay i was philly boston all right yeah but i um but i'll fuck i forgot what the fuck i was gonna say bring your shows 20 people oh yeah yeah but i'll um but out here um i'll hear um i'll It'd be, our mics are just a gang of comics and shit like that.

[143] But out there, it's like, real people would go to you guys as, like, open mics and shit like that.

[144] Like, we would rarely get real people in our, in our, in our little open mics and shit.

[145] So you basically practice in for the friends of other comedians.

[146] Yeah.

[147] Yeah.

[148] And so that was our come up.

[149] It stifles growth, I think, a little bit, those bringer shows, because you don't get a real audience.

[150] Yeah, you get your grandma, and you bring friends who think that you're funny on the street.

[151] but like they want to see you on the stage and they'll be like, yo, it'll be funny now.

[152] You know what I'm saying?

[153] Now it's a different.

[154] Yeah.

[155] You know, and you can't keep bringing them.

[156] Right.

[157] And also, you know you're doing stand -up for your friends.

[158] So, like, they're right there.

[159] I'm seeing my friends.

[160] This is weird.

[161] Yeah, it's like I could do this shit in the fucking living room like we always do.

[162] It's so fucked up.

[163] What are you doing out here?

[164] So I'm doing shows all week.

[165] I've been doing shows all week.

[166] I told myself earlier, I was here from the 28th through the 1st in December.

[167] And from the 28th, December 21st to the 1st.

[168] And just to get a little taste of Austin.

[169] What are you thinking about coming out here?

[170] Wink, wink, wink.

[171] Wink, wink.

[172] Chabar.

[173] What, what, what?

[174] Come on, I'm bringing everybody out here.

[175] Let's do it.

[176] Joe, you know good at hell well.

[177] We're all following you.

[178] You know it.

[179] Listen, once I open the club, I'm going to put the bad signal up.

[180] Yo, yo.

[181] And then so I said, all right, my, my, uh, my birthday was January 25th, you know, and then so I said, well, you know, what do you, I always think at the beginning of the year, like, what are you going to do for your birthday, you know, and I'm like, mm, I'm like, all right, you can either go hang out with your family, uh, you can go fuck some holes at Jeff Ross's house, or, uh, or, or you could take care of your little career and, uh, and I go to Austin, do shows for a week.

[182] And I was at the like, all right, well, I've done all except for one.

[183] So I'm going to go to Austin and do shows for a week and i just booked it and i came out here nice yeah man we've been doing shows at uh this a place in town called vulcan gas company that's a great little spot i did that yesterday oh it's nice right yeah it's a great spot a little weird people above you yeah yeah but the stage is kind of skinny too yeah but but at least it's stand up in a club yeah yeah and then we uh on mondays kill tony at anton's i did it just this past monday it was amazing yeah there's some funny fucking people in this town man hell yeah really good local comics really good.

[184] We laughed hard and Tony was on fire.

[185] Oh my God.

[186] Tony was killing it.

[187] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[188] It was good.

[189] I love Tony.

[190] I like his, like, I think he's such a funny person, but I like his confidence.

[191] Oh, yeah.

[192] It's ridiculous.

[193] It's ridiculous.

[194] Doesn't even make any sense.

[195] So he had that, he had that confidence like when we do the open mic at the improv, like when we were like little dudes, he'd be like, yeah.

[196] Look at it with the, that's the Undertaker's championship belt that he gave me and of course i had to i had to give it to tony like there's no way i couldn't like tony needed that yeah and him with the undertaker's belt on i said you got to take a shirt off photo with the undertaker's belt on yo yeah fucking tony hinscliff and like best roaster in the fucking game yeah dude yeah yeah yeah he's so quick yeah yeah it's fucking Yeah, it's fucking a troupe, dude.

[197] He, um, but yeah, he had that confidence in the open mic.

[198] And then so people, like, when we were coming up, people would be like, people like, damn, like, why, how does, how is he even feeling like that?

[199] Like, like, he, like, how does he even feel like that?

[200] Like, we don't even know our next joke and he's just up there, like, super confident.

[201] Well, you know, he drove, you know he bought that Corvette.

[202] Yeah, he started calling it Corvette Confidence.

[203] I've got Corvette confidence.

[204] Hey, I'm here.

[205] I'm here for it all, man. There's like, there's like, there's like, there's like a, there's like a undercurrent of like this hardcore savagery about him that I'm just like, that I'm just like, I'm here for.

[206] Yeah.

[207] Then I'm here for.

[208] Like, okay.

[209] I see you, Tony.

[210] He's, he's a, a lot of people underestimate him because of his voice and his, you know, his demeanor.

[211] Don't be doing that.

[212] He's a bad motherfucker.

[213] He's a bad motherfucker.

[214] And he's savage with the jokes.

[215] Yeah.

[216] I respect the shit out of Tony.

[217] He'll say shit on.

[218] And he writes all the time, too.

[219] He'll say shit on stage.

[220] where I'm just like, oh, no, he didn't just say that.

[221] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[222] And he knows he can get away with it because it's part of, it's the way he looks.

[223] It's part of, I mean, he's just, he's a funny fucker.

[224] And he was one of the first to jump in.

[225] I told him I'm here.

[226] I'm like, we got plans.

[227] He's like, I'm in.

[228] Yeah.

[229] He came out here before there was anything open.

[230] After Cap City had closed, he was out here.

[231] Yeah.

[232] Yeah.

[233] Oh, man, I fucking, yeah.

[234] So thinking about moving out here, but I was telling him outside, somebody got shot outside of my Airbnb a day ago out here yeah in front of my Airbnb in the middle of me about to call Uber I wonder what like the numbers are in the country in terms of like when the pandemic started to now like how much violence has gone up it's probably going up a lot a lot do you think it's because uh do you think is because you can get away with it more because everybody wearing masks I think there's that I think there's also when you have economic instability when so many people lost their jobs so many people they don't know where they're going to make money people get desperate and then people get angry they get evicted they get forced out of their homes they get they lose their jobs they lose their car their car gets repossessed and they don't you know you there's people that are being almost forced into crime in this in this time that haven't been in their whole life like there's people that like you know they're kind maybe would be slightly inclined to do something shady but they got a good job and they're going to like keep keep on keeping on but then when that job's gone and then and then there's no money coming in people start plotting and scheming and it's just natural it's like it's like it's like that movie uh what's that jim carey movie the fun with dick and jane where uh where they lost everything and then so they lost everything so they start going on like a crime spree and all this shit yeah yeah yeah so what happened so what happened is that like okay so when when covid hit or whatever everybody started getting the unemployment right so uh so you're talking about like scheming and all this shit.

[235] So, um, I went over my aunt's house and my big brother was over there and he was up to like, like, uh, he was up to like, yeah, man, he was up to like, so, uh, so what's you going do?

[236] And I was like, uh, you know, man, I mean, I'm my made draw and do some art and sell that and stuff.

[237] He was at the like, or and my little brother is in prison.

[238] So he's like, or we can get that nigga Chase Social Security number and then get in and then, and then, and then type that in and get his, uh, and get his unemployment.

[239] And I was like, nigga, I'm on TV.

[240] I can't be.

[241] I was like, I was like, I do think that that's brilliant.

[242] And if I was, if I was another nigga, I, yeah, I would.

[243] But people getting, people getting fucked up for that.

[244] People getting, well, the other thing that was happening with the unemployment was like, there was a lot of people that if they went back to work, they'd be risking their life.

[245] But if they just said, no, I'm too scared to go back to work.

[246] They still get that unemployment.

[247] And then you're not working for, like, long periods of time.

[248] you start to change the way you look at work yeah you start to change the way you look at things yeah you don't want you and then you hear about stimulus checks like where's this fucking stimulus checks yeah start thinking like we're just going to start getting checks that that could be a dangerous thing if the government just starts paying everybody why because i just don't think they have the money for it where's it going to come from it's good they're going to have to somehow or know that they're going to have to take it from somewhere or they're going to have to start printing money and then it's just look for sure people need money to get back on track the problem is if if the government starts doing this on a regular basis and then they keep shutting things down and they keep giving we're going to be it's going to be some george orwell shit's yeah yeah yeah we're going to be fully dependent on the government to keep cities open yeah towns open and then they're going to be compliant to the ridiculous rules like you've heard the shit they're doing in l .a we were talking about before the show today that l .a they're going to allow outdoor dining but you can't have a TV on what the fuck does that mean who are you who the fuck are you to tell people they can't have a TV on like what do they have a Jamie is there an explanation for why why does that matter because it doesn't matter they're fucking criminals these fucking people think they could just tell you what to do LA County says no TVs for outdoor diners at local restaurants what why yeah why does it say why this provision is effective until further notice.

[249] They didn't have to tell you.

[250] They don't have to tell you shit.

[251] These fucking creeps.

[252] I mean, it's like I said before.

[253] It's like, at least you don't got to worry about them broadcasting the coronavirus.

[254] It says sporting events like we talked about.

[255] Yeah.

[256] This is what it says.

[257] It says the broadcast performing to patrons in an effort to keep restaurants from becoming overcrowded for sporting events such as the upcoming Super Bowl.

[258] First of all, there's no evidence that this virus spreads outside.

[259] None.

[260] Zero.

[261] Zilts.

[262] You can't find any evidence.

[263] There's no studies.

[264] If you look at all the, like when they have a pie chart of how the virus spreads, it spreads in supermarkets.

[265] It spreads a little bit in, you know, various indoor businesses.

[266] You know, there's a very small percentage you show in restaurants, but it's mostly people working in the kitchen that are catching in.

[267] You know, they're in tight quarters working together all the time.

[268] There's no evidence that it spreads outside.

[269] None.

[270] So this idea about them being overcrowded, there's no evidence.

[271] Here's the thing Because I remember before L .A. shut down I remember Saddle Ranch Was like packed and stuff But it was outside But they were like packed And I was like that looks unhealthy too Yeah Like They're outside But they're still close together It's like We couldn't do shows Right down the street And you know why It's because they were about to start Doing shows again But then somebody called the health department On the comedy store And then that shit shut it down But why?

[272] Because I think it was like a troll.

[273] I think it was like a troll or somebody who didn't like, fuck with the comedy store like that.

[274] Like, but that's what happened?

[275] But what were they saying?

[276] Like, what could they say they shut down?

[277] They just said that all I remember is that they said that it was a, that it was like a health problem and stuff like that.

[278] And so they shut it down.

[279] Right when we were about, they was going to start letting us perform in the parking lot.

[280] Yeah, I remember that.

[281] Bring back the best of the comics on the parking lot.

[282] And, yeah, somebody got it shut down.

[283] damn that doesn't make any sense that's fucked up so did you ever see when we have to perform in the window yeah i did see that yeah that shit was that that didn't make any sense that shit was hard yeah no connection no connection with people and i tried to beat the window so many times i can never do it beat the window i saw i saw donnell beat the window i was like ah he beat the window don't know can beat the window don't can beat bulletproof glass like he can beat prison glass he gonna get his oh we were doing these shows at Stubbs Barbecue in town with Chappelle and Mohammer and Michelle Wolfe and Donnell.

[284] And this last one we did, we did one run with Tony Hinchcliffe and his last run I did with Ron White.

[285] And Donnell has been opening up the shows.

[286] I mean, my God, he just comes out of there like a bat out of hell.

[287] Dude, he's unstoppable.

[288] Right out of the gate.

[289] So intense.

[290] So much energy.

[291] Dude, he's unstoppable.

[292] What he does, dog.

[293] I was like, do he beat the fucking win?

[294] I didn't say in combat.

[295] You think you can beat the windows up?

[296] I don't know.

[297] You can beat the window.

[298] You can beat the window.

[299] Maybe.

[300] People just be excited that you did it.

[301] I don't want to try to beat the window.

[302] Fuck.

[303] Yeah, but Donnell doesn't give a fuck when he goes up.

[304] It doesn't give a fuck who he follows.

[305] He doesn't give a fuck.

[306] He just goes out.

[307] Just pow, pow, pow!

[308] Yeah.

[309] It was wild.

[310] Yeah, dude.

[311] These outdoor shows are different, too.

[312] It's weird doing an outdoor show.

[313] Like, the comedy.

[314] The laughter is great.

[315] It's fun.

[316] People are all excited, but it doesn't echo.

[317] You know, I never liked outdoor amphitheater shows.

[318] No?

[319] I've done a few of them, but they're just not as good.

[320] Like them festival shows?

[321] Yeah, they're not as good.

[322] They're not as good.

[323] What you really want to do is you want to...

[324] The best shit is like less than, you know, less than 500 people's really ideal.

[325] Like, the main room is ideal.

[326] Lid, yeah.

[327] Pact main room.

[328] Packed O .R. Comedy Works in Denver.

[329] Yeah.

[330] You know, Cap City in Austin when it was open.

[331] And that kind of shit.

[332] Low ceiling.

[333] Pow!

[334] The laughter rocks the fucking place.

[335] Yeah.

[336] It's wild.

[337] That's what you want.

[338] Outdoor shows.

[339] Like, we were doing this, we were doing this one at an amphitheater.

[340] And off of, fuck, what is that?

[341] It's like off a third street and like, and Beverly.

[342] I mean, like third street in where they run.

[343] Like Beverly, what is it, Pan Pacific Park.

[344] And they have an amphitheater out there.

[345] We were doing shows out there.

[346] People would roll up on their bikes and shit and just sit down in the amphitheater.

[347] And it was dope.

[348] You know, it reminded me of, remember Charlie Barnett?

[349] Yes.

[350] The guy, the New York comic, it reminded me of doing performances like that.

[351] Like, you know, like, so it had that vibes, you know, or at least that, or at least that was, that was what I tried to bring to it.

[352] But, so they weren't bad.

[353] I, for a second, was the only person doing indoor shows.

[354] Like, I think Tony told you I was running this show out of my apartment.

[355] Yeah.

[356] It was called the apartment show.

[357] jammers because because this is tony do it yeah he did do it how many people did you have in there yo man it was a yo it was lit it was like 20 people in that bitch like super spreader bro like no testing hell not hell no i can't afford that goddamn covid shit like them damn tests i get that stuff so i was i was giving people hand sanitizer and i provided a mask and because what was happening was i started it in uh last last last June like right when um like right when covey hitting comics were like going crazy because we you know we didn't have our passion to you know fuck with or whatever and I was like damn and I said you know what I'm about to do I said fuck it I said I said I'm about to go buy a stereo about to go buy a microphone and um I'm gonna start a comedy club in my house and my sister was up to like yeah yeah she was like I'll work the door and this and this and that I was like all right for show so how did you get the people in there uh Instagram I was I was like, I put out feelers, so I was like, I was like, all right, y 'all, I'm thinking about throwing an apartment show in my house.

[358] How do I get people here?

[359] And then people are like, I'll come, I'll come.

[360] People are DM me and me and shit like that.

[361] And I hit up my comic friends and I was like, y 'all trying to do some comedy.

[362] And we did it.

[363] It was like 20 people up in that motherfucker like.

[364] Nobody got sick?

[365] No. And that's the thing about the show.

[366] And that's another thing is that no one's ever said that they caught anything from my, uh, uh, from the show.

[367] And I got a dirty -ass apartment, Joe.

[368] You know what I'm saying?

[369] And so, man, we did that joint.

[370] I did it on Monday for my birthday.

[371] I brought it out here, but I did it at a hostel.

[372] It's called Native Hostel.

[373] I did it at a hostel.

[374] And we packed that motherfucker out, but it ain't the same as a fucking apartment.

[375] Like, in the apartment and shit, people was chilling on the motherfucking bed.

[376] People was chilling in the kitchen.

[377] That was like the green room.

[378] I brought PBR for everybody and we got it in That's awesome People have been doing shows in apartments for a while though Even before COVID They were doing it for fun Like I know a lot of people were doing Backyard shows I got invited to a few backyard shows And I was like what are you doing I'd like you to perform in my backyard I was like what are you talking about man You're doing a backyard show Yeah But people had there was a lot of like You could see it on Facebook and Instagram People that had shows in their apartment Yeah.

[379] Like, it was just because, look, it's hard to get stage time in L .A. There's a lot of clubs, but there's a lot of comics.

[380] Yeah.

[381] And you've got to get past, and it's a grind.

[382] Yeah, dude.

[383] And it's like once you get past, once you get past like the open mic levels, like, like, I feel like stages, like stage time kind of, you know how much stage time?

[384] Like, you know how many stages you can hit?

[385] Like, if you were like an open micer and stuff, it ain't like that.

[386] Like once you get past that level, it's like, man, you can probably in L .A. It's like, man, you could probably hit like three spots, improv, laugh factory, comedy store.

[387] And that's about it.

[388] Maybe Ice House, you want to drive.

[389] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[390] Comedy Magic Club, if you're really ambitious.

[391] Yeah, right.

[392] Yeah, but if you're an open mic, you could do 30 of them.

[393] Dog, I remember, I remember doing nine open mics on a Sunday.

[394] Nine on a Sunday.

[395] Like, I just wanted to see, like, how many I could fucking hit, like, like, like, and I put off nine.

[396] Wow.

[397] Yeah.

[398] Well, you got to get in the community, right?

[399] And once you're in the community, then people let you know where they're all at.

[400] Because they're spread out, these weird little bars and comic bookstores and weird, strange places that have mics.

[401] Where's the weirdest place you perform?

[402] Well, I did Bachelor parties with no microphone.

[403] That was rough.

[404] That was rough.

[405] Just a bunch of drunk dudes.

[406] And, you know, obviously they don't have any money.

[407] They would have bought a stripper.

[408] Hired a stripper to come.

[409] And it wasn't no stripper there?

[410] No, just me. Those were the roughest ones.

[411] I did a Jack and Jill strip club in Rhode Island.

[412] That was the weirdest one because a Jack and Jill strip club is like, there was a time where they tried to have strip clubs where a man performs and a woman performs and couples would go.

[413] Like a man and a female stripper?

[414] Like a man would strip and then a female would strip.

[415] And the couple would sit there and watch both of them.

[416] It was so strange.

[417] And the people that went up, they looked like the type of people you'd expect that this.

[418] kind of place and you know in the audience there was maybe six people in the audience and you know you know sometimes you bomb and it's like you know you just it just feels terrible this is I was bombing and it felt like I was performing in front of people that didn't understand a word I was saying I didn't get any noise yeah there was nothing it didn't even feel bad yeah I was like what is this I mean I was you know young in the game anyway I was only probably doing comedy a year and a half or so it was because it was it was a terrible gig it was for this dude dude oh man I'm trying to remember the guy of the book in agent's name but he had a bunch of these weird fucking gigs in Rhode Island like they were all real shady like strange bars and you'd go to and you'd always get paid but they were always very weird and this one there was you know like I said like six people in the audience and the type of people that you would see in an audience that would come to see a guy strip and a girl strip were very strange what they look like just like older people that just didn't have any hope and just sitting there and just look confused as to why they were even there and again there's only six of them in the whole audience and there was one dude there was a pool table in the back there was one dude playing pool and I came over to talk to him and he was just a regular dude from New Jersey and he's like man what the fuck is this place I go what are you doing here and he goes I'm in town visiting my family I had to get out of the fucking house yeah and I saw this place and I came over and he was like what is this the guy and the girl both of them they were not attractive yeah at all No, they both look like they've been drinking and doing drugs their whole life.

[419] They look sad and tired and bad tattoos.

[420] And where did you go up?

[421] Where did you go up in the middle of the beginning?

[422] I go up the beginning and then I'll bring them up.

[423] And then I'll go up in the middle in between them and then I bring up the girl.

[424] And then I go up at the end and wrap up the show.

[425] It was a nightmare.

[426] You did crowd work?

[427] I tried.

[428] First of all, it was terrible.

[429] I'd been doing comedy, like I said, like a year and a half, maybe.

[430] two years.

[431] I don't really remember, but I wasn't good.

[432] And then on top of that, these people just were barely awake.

[433] It was in Woonsocket, Rhode Island, which is like a very, it's a Portuguese section of Rhode Island.

[434] Rhode Island has a lot of Portuguese immigrants for whatever reason that came to that area.

[435] So these motherfuckers might not have even spoke that much English.

[436] I don't know.

[437] I don't, I'm telling you, dude, I didn't get any response.

[438] Yeah.

[439] You know, it was like, but don't, bum, silence.

[440] Yeah.

[441] Fuck.

[442] I remember that one, but that one didn't even make me feel bad.

[443] Yeah.

[444] I remember leaving that one, just laughing.

[445] Like, what in the fuck?

[446] What is that?

[447] Fuck.

[448] Yeah, that's crazy.

[449] Fuck, I can't even remember, like, the weirdest.

[450] They do what I'm in back of trucks now.

[451] I know, I saw that.

[452] Yeah, yeah.

[453] Burr did one of those.

[454] Yeah, those shows were actually lit.

[455] Like, I have a good stage.

[456] Yeah, yeah.

[457] You know, pickup truck, flatbed?

[458] I mean, it seems like a good stage.

[459] Yeah, but, you know, that's where comedy is.

[460] is in L .A. right now.

[461] Well, Eleanor's doing a show at the Magic Castle.

[462] They have shows in the parking lot.

[463] Yeah.

[464] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[465] Yeah, Tammy Joe runs that shit.

[466] How are they allowed to do that?

[467] In the parking lot?

[468] Yeah.

[469] If you can't have outdoor shows.

[470] Are they just doing it?

[471] I don't know.

[472] I don't know.

[473] I haven't even went to the Magic Castle show.

[474] Because I go, well, I don't want to blow her up.

[475] Maybe they're not still doing it.

[476] Eleanor had it on Instagram.

[477] Yep, they're there.

[478] Yep Eleanor Kerrigan In the house But Maybe they're just doing it And waiting for people To shut them down Oh Bro, it's bad LA's bad Yeah And I'm like I don't even know What I'm gonna Do when I get Maybe I'll go Maybe I'll audition or something I don't know I don't know what to do When I get back there You gotta be in your car Still like a drive -in Oh I don't like that shit Driving stand -up shows And people honk when you want To heckle Come on man Don't play with me Like I hate that But I'll tell you what, Burke Chrysher's got that shit dialed in.

[479] Yeah?

[480] He's got it dialed in.

[481] Yeah, they set up a big stage and he'll do hundreds.

[482] Like I ask him, how many people were in your crowd?

[483] He'll go, 700 cars.

[484] But just, but just in fact, you're doing a bike car.

[485] It seems so bizarre.

[486] Would you do some shit like that?

[487] I would do that.

[488] I would do it with Bert.

[489] I would do it with Bert.

[490] Yeah.

[491] 700 cars sounds like a good time.

[492] I did an outdoor venue.

[493] I went to see a show at an outdoor venue.

[494] Burr was in town.

[495] What was that place again?

[496] The place where Burr was at?

[497] It's in Dripping Springs.

[498] Is it Waller Creek?

[499] I don't believe so.

[500] There's a few of amphitheaters in different areas around.

[501] They have like these outdoor barbecue spots that have an amphitheaters.

[502] Like people play music and eat food.

[503] And Bill was there.

[504] There was like 600 people in the crowd.

[505] It was literally like 40 degrees outside.

[506] We're nutty brown.

[507] And we're sitting there zipped up to tie a jacket on, zipped up to my face.

[508] You're sitting there shivering, laughing my ass off.

[509] but Bill murdered it, man. It was, seeing him, seeing real stand -up.

[510] Yeah.

[511] Like, real, and current events, shit, talking about all the stuff that's going on the world right now.

[512] It was so good.

[513] And he's been on a tear, man. He's been traveling all over the country.

[514] Yeah.

[515] Just doing outdoor shows and being careful and wearing masks.

[516] And, you know, he won't even shake your hand.

[517] Even me. Really?

[518] You know, I go, dude, I get tested every day.

[519] He's like, I'll give you elbow.

[520] I'll give you elbow.

[521] And then he came in here.

[522] We both got tested.

[523] Then he gave me a hug.

[524] Right.

[525] That's funny.

[526] I try to get him to come to my apartment show.

[527] I tried.

[528] He wants, you know, he's got to be safe.

[529] He was like, absolutely not.

[530] He needs to make the money off stand -up because he doesn't, I mean, he makes money off his podcast, you know, but I'm sure he's got a large nut.

[531] And he was complaining on stage about his wife spending money, so I'm sure that's real, too.

[532] Yeah.

[533] Fuck.

[534] People, there's like so many people that didn't have a podcast that all of a sudden their income went away.

[535] And they thought, okay, it'll go away for a month, I'll be fine.

[536] Yeah.

[537] And then here we are 11 months later.

[538] Yeah.

[539] Like, what in the fuck is going on?

[540] Yeah.

[541] When can we go back to work?

[542] Like, what is happening?

[543] Most people are, I knew people that were, like, criticizing other people for going on the road and now they're on the road.

[544] Yeah.

[545] Yeah.

[546] Because they realize, oh, this is, you know, we've got to take the shit in our own hands.

[547] Yeah.

[548] My, uh, my mom was like, because my mom was like, oh, my God, are you going to.

[549] to Austin?

[550] You're going to Austin?

[551] Like, why are you traveling?

[552] I was like, bitch, I got a word.

[553] You're going to give me rent money?

[554] Like, bitch I got to fucking work.

[555] You know?

[556] And then she was like, I guess.

[557] Yeah.

[558] Well, Joey Diaz got mad at me at first.

[559] Why are you going to fucking Houston, Joe Rogan?

[560] What are you doing, Joe Rogan?

[561] You know, the first time I did the improv.

[562] I was like, listen, man, I miss it.

[563] I want to do it.

[564] It's like, stay home.

[565] Stay home.

[566] Mind your business.

[567] But he's doing stand -up now.

[568] Yeah, yeah.

[569] Exactly.

[570] exactly.

[571] After a while, people just get, they can't take it anymore.

[572] He's like, you know you need it.

[573] Yeah, they can't take it anymore.

[574] He's being careful.

[575] He's, you know, he lives in Jersey now for now.

[576] I'm going to have him come out here too.

[577] He has to come out here.

[578] Yeah.

[579] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[580] I miss seeing him, dude.

[581] Yeah.

[582] That's the glue.

[583] That's the glue that held the wildness together at the store, you know?

[584] He don't give a fuck about nothing.

[585] That's real, too.

[586] And I didn't, since I wasn't, I wasn't, like, I wasn't, like, familiar with, uh, with his personality.

[587] and stuff.

[588] So I remember one time I think you were there like I got my I got my keys stuck in my car in the parking lot and then people couldn't get out of the comic store parking lot and he couldn't get out I think he got out but like but whatever so the next day I saw him at the parking lot he was like hey jerk off he was up to like stop getting your fucking keys locked in your car he was like all right you know Uncle Joey loves you and I was up to like I've never even talked to this man in my life but I love I love how you just I love that I love him well you know he's got that wild East Coast sense of communication yeah yeah yeah yeah insulting you is a sign of love yeah yeah have fun that was one thing that I noticed when I came from New York to L .A. It's like New York comics are constantly shitting on each other and L .A. comics at least in the 90s when I first moved to L .A., they were all trying to get sitcoms man they weren't insulting anybody that's all they were trying to do they were trying to just make everybody their friend out here out here i mean like like nowadays like it got it like pick back up a little bit like a little bit in l .A but now they do it under now they do it under roast battle you know what saying now it's like that but like just outwardly and shit like people don't like to step on toes because people are still trying to you know they're trying to get ahead yeah yeah yeah yeah well that's part of the showbiz aspect of of Hollywood you know it's like that they all wanted to be cast and shows and they want to make sure they don't say anything too crazy I know a lot of comics that didn't want to do certain jokes or certain topics, even though they thought it was funny because they were worried that a casting agent wouldn't put him in a show or an executive would see it and they would think they'd be too...

[589] I'm like, God damn it, man, you're a comic.

[590] First and foremost, you're a comic.

[591] I figure, this is always been my strategy.

[592] I figure, come out crazy, you know, like, come out crazy and then let them see that, then scale it back, you know, like when you, like...

[593] Control it.

[594] Yeah, dude.

[595] But, like, come out crazy.

[596] know what the fuck they may be getting like.

[597] Yeah.

[598] Well, listen, man, it's just, it's there, these fucking people, they're all, like, led by whatever they think is the standard that they have to adhere to.

[599] It's not, like, if you were alone with them, they would call people retards, and they would say crazy shit, and they would laugh at bad jokes, and yeah, but when they're together under this, like the guise of being a part of a network, and, you know, it's like they have a career to protect, and everyone's, worried.

[600] The one thing that's beautiful about live comedy is you add a few drinks.

[601] People are smoking weed.

[602] The place is dark.

[603] The spotlight comes on the comic.

[604] You say wild shit.

[605] Everyone's laughing.

[606] Then you find yourself laughing.

[607] It breaks down all these walls.

[608] And you realize, this is just fun.

[609] This is not what he really means about anything.

[610] Yeah.

[611] He's just being wild and it's fun to watch.

[612] It's fun.

[613] I remember a long time ago, like coming up in a comic, like one of the best things I ever heard.

[614] Oh, am I in the way?

[615] Oh, okay.

[616] Jamie's moving me over.

[617] I can get a hand signal.

[618] I'm trying to see his eyes and you fix his shit for you.

[619] There we go.

[620] All right.

[621] One of the best...

[622] Yeah.

[623] One of the best things that ever, uh, uh, that's a comic ever told me, even like earlier in life was like, yo, man, the audience comes to here and see some crazy shit.

[624] Yeah.

[625] Well, especially at the store.

[626] Yeah.

[627] Yeah.

[628] But you got to establish that.

[629] I remember in the improv that wasn't the case.

[630] Yeah.

[631] Like the improv, like the early days, Joey used to go to the improv, and he's like, Joe Rogan, I don't like that fucking place.

[632] There's too many fucking mutts.

[633] Too many white people.

[634] He's like, too many fucking mutts.

[635] I say some shit.

[636] They fucking get all, they clutch their pearls.

[637] Yeah.

[638] But eventually, we started doing shows there.

[639] Yeah.

[640] And so when we started doing shows, like we did these Joe Rogan and Friends shows, then everybody knew.

[641] So it was like that we were getting our people to come down there, and then it was wild again.

[642] And then Joey loved it.

[643] dude i remember getting uh i remember getting a band from the improv i remember getting band from the improv because uh we had this thing called um it was me and like my uh the guys i was coming up with and we all had a showcase it was called like maybe like best of the improv or new faces of the improv or something like that and uh all my friends were honored and stuff and you know everybody you know everybody is kind of like straight edge kind of like you know clean and shit like that and then i would have to go up last and I was getting frustrated in the back and I was forgetting my jokes and so when I forget and I just say fuck it so I went up there I think I talked about um I think I talked about like like you know like I had a joke about like my grandma making me a smell her pussy when I got bad grades it was so fucking absurd what kind of grade is you getting?

[644] Like, oh, F, come here.

[645] Smellis.

[646] I was like, no. That's such a ridiculous joke.

[647] It's such an absurd joke, but like at that time, but at that time, you know, Rita from the improv.

[648] Yeah, sure.

[649] Like, she was up there like, so we had to do.

[650] Oh, and by the way, I ended that set by saying, fuck y 'all in good night.

[651] And I talked to my, I don't know what the fuck came over to me, but I was like, oh, bro, I think that that's just your spirit taking over.

[652] were like, that's just who the fuck.

[653] That's just a preview of who you're going to be later on as a fucking comic.

[654] Right, right.

[655] So, Rita.

[656] How many years in were you?

[657] Shit.

[658] I was like, um, that I was probably 22.

[659] So 17, 18, 19, 20, 21.

[660] I was five years in.

[661] Oh, okay.

[662] But you were only 22.

[663] Yeah.

[664] And so, um, and so the next day, Rita, Rita was, uh, she, she had everybody.

[665] Like, she never did this shit.

[666] Like, it was the next day was the open mic.

[667] she had everybody sitting down and I kind of come in a little late and she was just sitting on the stage talking like talking to all the comics I ain't never seen this shit in my life so she was giving people their reviews she was like they're like Gerard amazing Angelou amazing she was like oh you could do this but you did a great job and then she was like Jamar what the fuck did you think you were doing and I was like oh I was trying to be funny Rita And then she was like, smell of your grandmother's pussy!

[668] I wish I was there.

[669] I've been like, Rita, that shit is hilarious.

[670] Let them grow.

[671] The audience was confused, though, too.

[672] I don't know.

[673] They were like, well, I don't know.

[674] Listen, you need to bring that joke back.

[675] Have you been doing that lately?

[676] Hell no, that was like.

[677] Oh, my God.

[678] Please, Jamar, bring that back.

[679] You can figure out a way to make that work.

[680] Oh, my God.

[681] Today, you can make that work.

[682] Yeah, now, but back then.

[683] Right, but that's always the case in the beginning.

[684] Like, that's like what I would call like a black belt premise.

[685] Like, it's a complicated premise.

[686] It's not like a white belt premise.

[687] A white belt premise is like, oh, you know, it's easy.

[688] Set up punchlines, obvious what you're talking about.

[689] You're saying some wild shit.

[690] Like, you got to, the audience has to have trust in you for you to joke about your grandmother's smelly pussy and how you have to smell it if you had bad grades.

[691] That shit was retarded, dog.

[692] Yeah, but it's making me laugh right now.

[693] And the fuck, the fuck part about that shit is that, like, if I'm in a joke, like, if I'm in a joke, I don't care at what level of comedy I was ever at.

[694] If I'm in it, I'm going to do the whole fucking thing, whether I'm bombing or not.

[695] Like, the whole act out, like, I'll put the whole story in that shit and everything.

[696] I don't get a fuck much quiet at day.

[697] And I'm like, well, no one in here's grandma's had a stinky pussy before, huh?

[698] No one in here has got an F?

[699] Okay.

[700] How did you get involved in doing the role?

[701] roast battle shit because when you guys would do when it was you and and Jeremiah and Willie and Willie and you guys would act out in when would someone kill somebody with a roast you guys would pile onto the stage and act out various scenarios and it made the show bro it made the show thank you I really appreciate that because people online was eating us up they was after like who in these fucker these idiots but I uh you can't read those but but but but it wasn't about that for us like we was just trying to have fun so in the beginning stages of uh of the rose battle and shout out to jeff for letting us do that you know what i'm saying yeah it's a wild move yeah it is um but you but i feel like a show like that where you were you constantly spouting like these insults and shit like that and a lot of them are really fucking dark you need a pallet cleanser it don't matter like good way to put it yeah that's a very good way to put it yeah so uh so at the beginning like when the first start like like the origins of it and shit when they first start like me willie and jeremiah we'd be sitting like just watching these motherfuckers like just talk shit about each other and i i naturally have a big laugh and whatever it's i damn near over exaggerated and shit and then so jeremiah and we we all like we'll start watching it whatever and then i would laugh and i would do like different shit i would like get like i would like start dancing this shit on stage like that or whatever and then uh jeremiah and them start coming in and all this stuff and then so that shit escalated So one time, one time, like one week, we were like, hey, man, let's go to Goodwill.

[702] And every time, and every time somebody say something funny, and I was like, we just go up there and like these different props and shit, right?

[703] And then so, yeah.

[704] And so then it would get like really fucking elaborate.

[705] We would do like costumes and shit like that.

[706] But it all started from just over laughing and just like trying to just fuck around and kind of troll the fucking battleers kind of sort of and the whole thing or whatever.

[707] that's how it started and um yeah man did you guys get together and plan out like various little things that could possibly be happening if someone kills somebody and if how did you know when to bring out which one so um okay so so we would get very uh so we would go prop shopping some of that shit didn't make sense but like we would go we would go prop shopping and shit but um is there a video complement compilation of like the best of the wave Yeah, it is.

[708] It is.

[709] Oh, fine.

[710] Yeah, yeah.

[711] There should be if there is it.

[712] Yeah, it has to be.

[713] So we would go, we would go to prop shopping and shit like that, right?

[714] And we would know who is battling or whatever.

[715] And so we were like, well, this person's fat.

[716] This person's a lesbian.

[717] This person's trans or whatever.

[718] So they're probably going to say stuff like this.

[719] So let's get this rainbow flag.

[720] Let's get some gasoline.

[721] So when somebody says something about this gay dude, we're going to burn the rainbow flag.

[722] And like, you know, like, you guys actually burn a flag?

[723] We burned a Confederate flag in, in, in, uh, in, uh, where is what?

[724] And from, in Alabama, and the whole crowd went, and the whole crowd, like, gave us a standing ovation.

[725] Really?

[726] Yeah, that was like one of the bits.

[727] Indoors burning a flag is dangerous as fuck.

[728] But people, but that's the dope thing about the wave is that people never ever knew what the fuck we were going to do.

[729] So we would get away with shit like that because of the air of the air of unpredictability.

[730] Right.

[731] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[732] So, um, so, it's a great name for the, the, the group of you, too, the, the, wave because because before before we did the roast battle we would be in the OR and um and um when somebody would do something funny I would I was always an over laugh for anyway whatever and um so one time somebody did something I was like ha ha ha and I was like whoa whatever right and then so uh and then so we started doing that like in the roast battle too you know what I'm They're like, oh, man, we should just call ourselves the wave or whatever and this and this and that.

[733] We're the wave, you know, and so every time, like, they shout us out.

[734] We'd be like, whoa.

[735] And, like, sometimes a whole crowd will fucking do it and shit, you know what I'm saying?

[736] Because it's literally a wave of whatever the fuck's about to happen after this joke.

[737] You know what I'm saying?

[738] And you guys did it for it.

[739] Like, I came to the store in 2014, and one of the things, I came back to the store.

[740] One of the things that brought me back, the big thing that brought me back was Ari, because Ari was filming the special there the next.

[741] day and I had to go.

[742] I had to be there for that.

[743] I was one of my best friends.

[744] And the other thing was I wanted to see roast battle because everybody told me about it.

[745] And I remember being up there and sitting in that audience going, wow, this is special.

[746] Like, first of all, the jokes, the joke writing was excellent.

[747] These people that I didn't even know, they were crushing each other.

[748] And then you guys would run on stage and make chaos.

[749] And I was like, this is a wild creative fucking show.

[750] But that was 2014.

[751] Yeah.

[752] So we're talking about.

[753] six, seven years, seven without COVID, six years of solid performances.

[754] Yep, yeah, yep, yep.

[755] And it was so fucking fun.

[756] And the dope, one of the dopest things about that, and it made me, it made me really appreciate, like, what we get to do.

[757] Yeah.

[758] You know, is I remember a time we went to JFL to do it live.

[759] And, um, and I was sitting there and I was sitting there and I was getting kind of nervous about the show.

[760] because this was a live show.

[761] They were going to do it live for Comedy Central.

[762] And I was like, I was a little nervous about the show like in my hotel room.

[763] And I was like, bro, I was telling myself, I was like, man, you need to chill out.

[764] And I said, what you need to do, get those red pants, get that wig, and go up there and dance like James Brown.

[765] You get to do that.

[766] And I was at the like, oh, yeah, huh?

[767] Get up.

[768] Yeah, yeah.

[769] And so there was a bit.

[770] I don't know whose battle it was, but like, I don't know if you had.

[771] ever got it or whatever but it's me up there like dancing like James Brown and shit like that or whatever people like we were having a great time even online may have not liked it I mean like online may have not liked it but if you are there listen man fuck the online yeah fuck them for real fuck that they're just a bunch of malcontents you know who this is what I always say this it's not like the people don't comment interesting shit on on YouTube videos or Instagram they do There's some people that do.

[772] But the people that complain all the time, most of them, 99 % of them, I'm making that number up, are fucking losers.

[773] Yeah, yeah.

[774] That's why they're complaining about shit all the time.

[775] Well, I figured that's what the, that's what the comment section is for anyway, because I ain't a lie.

[776] I'm a troll my goddamn self.

[777] Yeah.

[778] So, yeah, yeah.

[779] But all that matter to us is that we were having fun and that we got to do this.

[780] It's one of the best parts of the show.

[781] Yeah, man. Anybody doesn't get that.

[782] It's one of the best part.

[783] I remember there was, there was one where somebody got.

[784] got somebody.

[785] I forget what happened?

[786] But you guys came out with, what are those things that pop out of cans?

[787] They look like worms and shit.

[788] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[789] A little streamers.

[790] Yeah.

[791] You guys were popping out.

[792] You guys were rolling.

[793] I'm like, this is wild.

[794] This, it like, because whoever it was got this person so good.

[795] And then you guys all fell out of the stage, like, bah!

[796] And it was, it was amazing.

[797] It was amazing.

[798] And you could see in the audience, like, the laughter was hard, and then it took it to another level.

[799] And then people are like, this show is amazing.

[800] That show is one of the best creations of the store.

[801] Yeah.

[802] And Moses is the perfect guy to host it because he's so nice.

[803] Yeah.

[804] He's so funny and he's so nice.

[805] And then he makes everybody hug it out at the end.

[806] You hug it out.

[807] Like, there's no meanness coming from Moses.

[808] Like if Hinchcliff was hosting it, it might go too dark.

[809] Right, right, right.

[810] You know what I mean?

[811] Moses is like, I don't have a sight.

[812] I'm just, go ahead.

[813] All right, break it up.

[814] All right.

[815] He's also fun and he's, you know, he's just a good dude.

[816] Yeah.

[817] So it's like that comes off when he's on stage.

[818] Yeah.

[819] And then when he would host it, it was just, man, I missed that show.

[820] I used to drop in on Tuesday nights just to watch, just to see some chaos and just see some creativity and some young comics just getting after it.

[821] Yeah, dude.

[822] And I, and I, fuck, I used to get up, like, I used to get up there and I used to fucking battle and all that shit.

[823] And then that was fun, but then I had to stop doing that because I don't like that.

[824] of thinking about somebody for two whole fucking weeks and stuff like that.

[825] Right.

[826] Jokes and yeah.

[827] But it did help like my joke writing and all that stuff.

[828] Oh, it's a great joke writing exercise.

[829] Oh, absolutely.

[830] But I think being in the wave like really like developed me though as a as a performer though too.

[831] Like that was doing some work on our shit too, you know.

[832] Oh yeah.

[833] You had to commit.

[834] And the other thing is that that was a late night show.

[835] And it was always sold out.

[836] It was always sold out.

[837] Like there was a lot.

[838] I mean, what time would that thing start?

[839] Okay, it would start at 10 .30.

[840] They would do it.

[841] They would do like a mic or like a little book spots ahead.

[842] And then it was like 1145.

[843] That's when it was done.

[844] So really, the show started at almost midnight on a Tuesday night and it would be mobbed.

[845] Yep.

[846] I mean, it was supposed to have, listen, I'm not going back to the store because it's not going back.

[847] It's not going to be the store again.

[848] I'll go back if it comes back.

[849] But I'm going to be honest about the numbers.

[850] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[851] The fire department probably wanted about 80 people in there.

[852] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[853] There's probably about 150.

[854] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[855] You couldn't wear a good shoes up there.

[856] You get five.

[857] I was downstairs below it, and I remember someone was crushing, and you guys were jumping around, and the ceiling was moving.

[858] I was like, oh, my God.

[859] I was like, most of the last time anybody did, like, a structural assessment.

[860] Just to hang up in those backstairs just so you could hear.

[861] If you couldn't get in, you'd like, I'm going to hear it.

[862] Yes, yes, yes.

[863] But it was, there was some motion at one time that the ceiling was moving.

[864] I was like, imagine.

[865] If everybody just came piling into the fucking kitchen, if the ceiling collapse, Mm -hmm.

[866] Fuck, you know.

[867] We used to turn that fucking belly room out, man. We need to do that shit out here.

[868] We need to have roast battle in Austin.

[869] He brought, so, uh, a guy, Frost doing him.

[870] He ain't doing shit.

[871] Yeah, man. I want out, Jeff Ross.

[872] Some guy brought it up, somebody guy brought it up that he was, um, that he was going to start it back up out here.

[873] And he was like, I would love for you to do the wave.

[874] And I was like, I don't do the wave any more kid.

[875] I'm past that I tried to big time them well you probably should be past that yeah I mean but that's what I'm saying like I would definitely do something with my friends with the wave or whatever but I don't want to go on stage and yeah no I get it I get it you did it forever but it was just I think things that are just wild like that are great for the soul of comedy yeah that's what I felt when I was there in that audience and again this was the night before already filmed a special.

[876] I decided I had to go there a day earlier.

[877] I'll be overwhelmed because I knew I was going to start crying.

[878] So I got there.

[879] I was like, okay, let me just see what the store is like now.

[880] And then Jeff Ross introduced me to the crowd and it was it was weird, man. It felt weird.

[881] It felt like, oh my God, it was crazy.

[882] But the feeling of the room was like, this is not the same comedy store that I left seven years ago.

[883] Yeah.

[884] This is a better place.

[885] It's more creative.

[886] It's more wild.

[887] and to be there and that that wasn't packed the same way that was only like a legit like 90 people but it was still it was fun man it was crazy yeah man we used to tear the roof off that place man and we oh my god because you know we you know we'd work all week doing whatever job we had before you know maybe it was a writing jobs or somebody had but every fucking Tuesday you know every fucking Tuesday like me Jeremiah and Willie we get like giddy we'd be like Oh shit You're gonna do that?

[888] Okay, okay.

[889] I'm like, all right, man, I'm gonna get Willie.

[890] All right, I'm gonna get Willie.

[891] I remember Dennis Rodman jumped in the wave.

[892] Dennis Rodman, big drunk ass, jumped in the fucking wave.

[893] We were like, fuck it.

[894] I was like, this is what kind of party it is?

[895] Hey, Dennis Rob, Bobby Brown jumped in the wave.

[896] Bobby Brown was there.

[897] Bobby Brown was at the store a bunch of times.

[898] Yeah.

[899] Yeah, I ran at a Bobby Brown at a sushi place.

[900] Yeah.

[901] It's one of those weird things.

[902] Like, you know, when I was a kid, have a little step out tank You know like I knew Bobby Everybody knew Bobby Brown Yeah So I run into Bobby Brown at a sushi place He says hi to me It was like what's up gentlemen's like Oh my God Bobby Brown knows who I am Yeah yeah yeah It's so strange shaking his hand Giving him a hug I was like wow Bobby Brown Bobby Brown It's crazy Oh man Yeah That comedy store That comedy store You know that place was such a Look look look at Oh look you guys It's the best of age Did you're Robin Dennis Rodbiz and Jeremiah's translating Oh my god, that's hilarious Dennis, Dennis, Dennis, we already know everything about you There's nothing else And World Star doesn't have subtitles, what the fuck is happening like that?

[903] I'll take you a selfie with it Who's the best you want, want me?

[904] Oh, that's so funny well there's a real value in a little club like that a tiny spot and that's one of the things that I want to have out here I want to have a small club too yeah I don't think you just have a big club like the main room I think you need a belly room I think you need a little laboratory yep you know just to fuck around and yeah like it would be really hard to create a show like that or like a lot of other kill Tony started out in the belly room too yep I remember that yeah like you need a laboratory yeah a place where you're just kind of fucking around.

[905] There's lower expectations.

[906] It's more of a hang.

[907] When you get to a large audience, everybody's like, wow, this place is back.

[908] This is a big thing.

[909] Yeah, like you do that small club to go do the big club.

[910] Yeah, exactly.

[911] But I feel like it's like training.

[912] Like you need to do running and then you also need to hit the bag.

[913] You need to do different shit.

[914] You need to lift weights.

[915] You need cross -training.

[916] It's so funny.

[917] I remember.

[918] I remember.

[919] I still do.

[920] but like I would speak about training and stuff like that like I would go to the gym for for fucking for fucking six hours Joe six hours every motherfucking day bro just to mentally prepare myself for doing comedy six hours yeah bro what would you do for six hours anything I could think of like anything I could fucking I accidentally learned how to box just by being in in the gym for six hours like like for like every fucking um like every fucking day you learn boxing by yourself yeah yeah i would take i would take little i would take little i would see people in the gym and stuff like that what gym were you working out of it uh fortune boxing oh okay Justin fortune yeah yeah he's legit yeah I love Justin Joey Diaz used to go there too yeah yeah yeah all the yeah all I like you see fucking fucking Sylvester Stallone brother in that motherfucker like you and I'm here to work out though just to fucking mentally prepare myself for a fucking 15 minute set of the comedy store like fucking retard it that's good so you just hit a fight didn't you didn't you take a fight yeah we talked about it before I was we talked about it it was almost a year ago yeah right right before COVID hit it actually you were telling me you were thinking about taking a fight I was like whoa okay I said uh because I was gonna go do golden gloves yeah I was I was I was 34 so I was like and and I was gonna do um I was gonna do the golden gloves because I was 34 in the lat and the cutoff do it is 35.

[921] And one of the main reason I wanted to do it, because I heard that, I heard that, I heard that, I heard that, I heard that.

[922] Eddie Murphy fought in the golden gloves?

[923] Or silver gloves or some shit like, or like they used to boxing.

[924] They were younger.

[925] And then Martin Lawrence.

[926] Well, his brother, Charlie, was a bad motherfucker.

[927] Yeah.

[928] Yeah.

[929] I heard.

[930] Very good martial artist.

[931] I hear stories.

[932] Yeah, he was good.

[933] I was with Charlie Murphy.

[934] We were on tour.

[935] And I was with Maurice Smith, who was UFC heavyweight champion and Ivan Salivary who was one of the top fighters in the UFC and we had done a show together and then all we you know me and charlie did a show together and then we all went out to eat and these guys came out to see me so afterwards we're all eating dinner and i think brian redband had the photo of this this conversation on his instagram and i think he sent it to me and i might have put it on my instagram or my twitter but charlie murphy was holding court you got ufc former heavyweight champion of the world, Mori Smith.

[936] You got Ivan Salivari, top flight UFC fighter, and you got me and a couple of my friends, and then Charlie Murphy's standing up talking about, you motherfuckers don't know how to throw the Chicago Ridge hand.

[937] Like he had like some strike called the show.

[938] That's it.

[939] That's it right there.

[940] That's it right there.

[941] 2007.

[942] Look at Charlie.

[943] That's Ivan Salavari's the guy with the watch on the far right side.

[944] Mori Smith is a guy with a white t -shirt right next to him.

[945] oh my god dude i'm telling you charlie murphy was holding court we were dying laughing and he was talking about like a ridge hand is a weird karate strike where you hit someone with like this side of your hand he like throw it like this i mean it's got its place like you know sometimes dudes in the m -ma they kill a guy and then the hammer fist a guy yeah yeah yeah because it's really the best move in certain situations yeah and then the ridge hand charlie murph was saying y 'all motherfuckers don't know about the ridge hand Chicago Ridge hand Here like this Chicago style Ridge hand I don't know I don't feel soft It's not the best way to hit somebody But you could For sure You could fuck somebody up It's If you're hitting soft tissue in the face Like I wouldn't recommend it For the top of the head Like Knuckles are better for sure Yeah I would never Chicago Ridgehand somebody Let's maybe my little brother Is that Charlie Box?

[946] No no no that's me That's me This motherfucker was so fat Oh, the guy you fought, oh.

[947] Oh, dude, look at you swinging wild.

[948] I was like, Jim Barr.

[949] Are you left -handed?

[950] I am.

[951] Oh, shit.

[952] No kidding.

[953] Oh, dude, Jamar, look at you go.

[954] And you get a drink of water when the guy's down.

[955] Yeah, yeah.

[956] You're not supposed to do that.

[957] Yeah.

[958] And I walked out of a reason.

[959] That's over anyway, right?

[960] Isn't it over?

[961] Yeah, you quit.

[962] The only reason, the only reason.

[963] And I don't, I don't take like crazy credit for it.

[964] I mean, a win is a win for sure.

[965] I mean, that guy was fast.

[966] as fuck.

[967] So you had this, guys that were in masks, this was COVID.

[968] When did this fight happen?

[969] Yeah, yeah, it was.

[970] When did this happen?

[971] This is like, in October.

[972] In October.

[973] So did they test you at all?

[974] No, man. No. They made a sign and release and says, hey, we're not responsible for anything that happened.

[975] You might catch while you beat the shit out of each other.

[976] Yeah, and I only did that because I didn't get to do the golden gloves.

[977] Remember I walked up to you and I was like, Joe, I'm thinking about doing the golden gloves.

[978] You're like, have you ever fought?

[979] And I was like, yeah, I mean, I spar him now.

[980] Well, I knew you were in really good shape.

[981] You would throw on a monkey wrench into this thing that I always disputed.

[982] There was a thing where people said you couldn't be funny if you were in great shape.

[983] Yeah.

[984] Because you would go on stage jacked with this full six -pack and killing it.

[985] Shirt off.

[986] And I was like, it's possible.

[987] Look how funny Jamar is.

[988] And he's up there with no shirt on.

[989] He's shredded.

[990] Well, yeah, yeah.

[991] People think I do that shit just to show off my body.

[992] and I swear to God I'm at the I do it because I think that shit is funny It's kind of ridiculous I mean just like the Mohawk Yeah yeah yeah That's not even really yours Hell no it's not That shit's glued to his head Hey Steve Harvey did it for years I could be like I could do my little mohawk I mean I don't know why he did He's got a great head Yeah but back then Back then you couldn't be bald Yeah That shit was too perfect We in the hood We used to debate that shit Like that is really How this whole perfect deal That's perfect.

[993] People can have a perfect hairline, bro.

[994] Some people can't have a perfect hairline.

[995] It's just not a lot of...

[996] That shit.

[997] That shit looked like a microphone.

[998] He was destined to be a comic.

[999] Listen, they did it right.

[1000] They did a good job on it.

[1001] Yeah.

[1002] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1003] Steve Harvey wear a wig.

[1004] His shit was perfect.

[1005] His lineup, oh, God, it was great.

[1006] Well, you know, some dudes can pull it off.

[1007] Yeah, that is a perfect line.

[1008] Like, it's perfect.

[1009] God, this must get sweaty as fuck in there when you're on stage.

[1010] you know killing it for an hour sweating this wig on top of your head and I'd be playing with this shit like it's my real hair and shit too like I'd be like How do you glue that thing on your head it's double -sided wig tape I bought this from a costume store because I I did a it's so fucked up how I started doing it I was doing like this little I was doing like this one man show and I had like these four different characters and I was like these four different characters I was like, okay, that guy, I was, like, looking at the characters.

[1011] I was like, okay, that guy's fine.

[1012] That guy's fine.

[1013] I said, this guy needs a wig.

[1014] And I was like, yeah, this guy needs a wig.

[1015] So I went to the costume store and I was tried on a jerry curl wig.

[1016] And I was like, nah, man. I was like, something a little more.

[1017] And then I put this, I just put this motherfucker on.

[1018] I was like, bro.

[1019] I was like, that's it.

[1020] Let's go.

[1021] Like, and then I just, and then after the, after the one -man show, I just started, I just started wearing.

[1022] And I was like, bro, I think you could just rock this.

[1023] then so I'm like I love how you wear it sometimes and sometimes not I got to see at the comedy store and sometimes tomorrow would have the Mohawk and sometimes not because I wear it like I wear it like a hat like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like a sweater yeah yeah bro I can't bro I'm gonna I want a purple one I swear I don't know why not yeah I got to figure out where to get this purple online online for sure I got this Jamie will find one right now Purple, mohawk, wig.

[1024] I have a bunch of DMs right now.

[1025] I'll be like, I'll make you a blue one.

[1026] Some of them will make you all kinds of colors.

[1027] They'll probably make you the whole rainbow.

[1028] Send them, baby.

[1029] You need a gold one.

[1030] Oh, my God.

[1031] I was just looking at your chains.

[1032] I was like, imagine a gold one.

[1033] Bro, with the shirt off?

[1034] Oh, my God.

[1035] Oh, my God.

[1036] You would need a net to catch all that pussy.

[1037] My grandma's thing pussy's in here.

[1038] Sit out of here, bitch.

[1039] Please bring that.

[1040] back.

[1041] For you, I'll do it.

[1042] I'll do it.

[1043] Please bring it back.

[1044] Please bring it back.

[1045] Are you working this weekend?

[1046] I'm done out here.

[1047] You're not working at all?

[1048] What are you doing Saturday night?

[1049] I got WTF.

[1050] I got WTF tonight.

[1051] And after that I'm...

[1052] What is WTF?

[1053] It's this little bar called Whiskey, Tangle, Fox Chair, Terry, or some shit like that.

[1054] But I fly back on the 30th.

[1055] Why, what's popping on the 30th?

[1056] Tomorrow night is Tony's show.

[1057] Tony's got a show at Vulcan, and I'm there.

[1058] Oh, that's right.

[1059] friends are totally oh fuck yeah what do you what are you doing then fuck am i going to extend my state I mean I would damn I feel like I want to fuck with that come on down Jamar I'll all right I'll all right I'll stretch it out one day Stretch it out a day Yeah alright Pure pressure peer pressure Come have some fun to be great dude because I ain't gonna be doing shit in L .A fucking waiting on all day Fish is this shit.

[1060] Hearing sirens and helicopters.

[1061] Fuck, man. We went down to the comedy store to film that there was like one last night where they filmed that the comedy store documentary.

[1062] And it was Whitney Cummings and me and Andy Letterman and Bill Byr and Paul Rodriguez and Jay Leno and we were all up on the roof.

[1063] And man, it was sad as fuck.

[1064] The comedy store was abandoned and dudes were racing down sunset because there was no one there.

[1065] So there was like, you know how they have like a lot of those dudes with real money?

[1066] live like in Beverly Hills and they have Lamborghinis and we'd always see them on sunset well they were racing on I mean racing like you would hear that like guys flying down sunset because no cops were stopping anybody for anything yeah this is just a few months after George Floyd it was all this defund the police talk in the air was past looting and rioting and everybody was scared and the cops didn't do a goddamn thing about it and you would really you felt like the deterioration of the fabric of the city you felt it in the air.

[1067] It was really disturbing.

[1068] It made me sad.

[1069] What do you think is going to happen to the store?

[1070] Mad Max.

[1071] Mad Max.

[1072] I think L .A. is going Mad Max.

[1073] I think L .A. it's going to be five years for L .A. comes back.

[1074] That's what I think.

[1075] I think they lost 75 % of their restaurants.

[1076] Who knows what percentage of bars and small businesses.

[1077] But John Tersarian and Craig from Craigs, the restaurant in L .A., they were on the podcast.

[1078] They were telling me the, the actual numbers.

[1079] Did I say his name wrong again?

[1080] Turzian.

[1081] I said Terzarian.

[1082] Why do I have to say that?

[1083] You know, listen, I just suck at fucking last names.

[1084] Man, that's sad.

[1085] Armenians have great last names, though.

[1086] It's always an Ian.

[1087] Terzarian, Turzian, Parisian, It's always an...

[1088] I mean, it was really interesting.

[1089] Man, that makes me sad.

[1090] Man, that means I'm going to have to move out.

[1091] here.

[1092] Well, you're going to have to move out here, Jamar, anyway.

[1093] This is going to be the spot.

[1094] Fine, fine.

[1095] We're going to put this together.

[1096] What I want to do is I want to have a spot run by a comic, which we'd never had before.

[1097] Everyone's run by business people.

[1098] You know, and the comedy store's been the closest place to that.

[1099] It was run by a crazy lady.

[1100] Yeah.

[1101] And then when the crazy lady died, the comedians had already made it so profitable.

[1102] And it was a real fortunate turn of events that, like, I came back in 2014, and Mitzie died shortly thereafter and it was like the way everything rolled out it was the show it the place had become so profitable they didn't want to fuck anything up so it's not like they got to brought a business person in there and started doing it in a way that they would do like a road club we had a headliner and a middle and an opening act and you know they could have done it that way if they figured out if they needed a way to make a lot of money that would have been the way to do it but we made them a lot of money at the store and they made all the money it was an interesting situation.

[1103] It's like they realize like, well, we've got a real good spot here because any other club where you would have sold out shows Monday through Sunday, the comics would be making most of the money.

[1104] That's how it is if you go to Nashville.

[1105] That's how it is if you go to Dallas.

[1106] You know, if you're a murderer, you're coming into town and you know, you're going to sell out every show in advance and everybody knows.

[1107] Like you make the lion's share of the money and they make the bar.

[1108] That's what happens.

[1109] But at the comedy store, that wasn't the case.

[1110] The Comedy Store was a great financial situation for them.

[1111] They made a lot of money.

[1112] And we were happy that they made a lot of money because it kept the place open.

[1113] It kept this community going.

[1114] And it had gotten so profitable that even though Mitzi had left, you know, left this earth, she left behind this system that had encouraged wild comedy.

[1115] But most places don't do that.

[1116] Most places they want a opening act, a middle, and a headliner.

[1117] They want the person to have TV credit so that people will come see them and they want to sell a lot of tickets and they want to make a lot of money and that's how most comedy clubs work I don't want to work that way I want a comedy club that's run by the comments keep the freedom keep the freedom yeah yeah you got to have to create you need freedom yeah you need to be able to talk about your grandmother's stinky pussy goddamn right you have to you need that if someone comes along and says you can't do that well maybe you can't do that but the only way to find out if you can't do that is to do it yeah you know a lot of people there's a lot of shit they think about some of the things that ds is on stage or theo's on stage or are you of done on stage or all the while people at the store have done on stage the only way to find out if that's going to work is let them try it yeah yeah it's it yep yep yeah I don't know man I um it's a great place to live yeah man I mean I'm still feeling it I don't care who got shot outside of my Airbnb today I'm like I'm like are you sure they got shot Maybe someone shot at them.

[1118] No, bro.

[1119] No, bro.

[1120] So I was catching an Uber to go to the motherfucking gym.

[1121] And the Uber guy called me and said, hey, man, did something just happen to you?

[1122] And I was at the like, nah, man, I'm in my Airbnb.

[1123] He was like, oh, well, somebody just, I just saw somebody get shot outside of your Airbnb.

[1124] And I was like, nah, that wasn't me. And then he was like, well, if you still want to catch this Uber, I'll be up.

[1125] the street at the jack -in -the -box.

[1126] And I said, Nick, I'm not about to walk down the street.

[1127] Nick, leave.

[1128] Leave.

[1129] Like, and he was like, all right.

[1130] I was like, fuck, and I just stayed in the house.

[1131] The Uber situation is so interesting because no one ever saw that coming.

[1132] Here's a thing, like, cabs have been around since the beginning of time.

[1133] Yeah, yeah.

[1134] Cabs have been around for the, from forever.

[1135] From the beginning of time.

[1136] There's been cabs.

[1137] You know, you call a cab.

[1138] You hail a cab in New York City.

[1139] Somebody figured out, like, would it be cool if you could just use your car and make money?

[1140] Just driving people around And it seems so simple So simple How come I think Because we get people Rides anyway everywhere But California had to step in And fuck it up They're like these people need health insurance And they need They need Dental And they just did that No, it's a gig It's an easy way To make money on the side And you could do it as long as you want It make as much money as you want Like stop fucking it up With insurance Yeah Stop fucking it up This is not a career This is not You're not talking about a dental surgeon you're talking about a guy who drives you places just don't be a criminal because a lot of because a lot of the times those those uber drivers do other shit yes most of the time most of the time yeah like you know i really work at walmart yeah i mean maybe they should be making more money maybe there's an argument there maybe they should be making more of a percentage you don't think it should be commissioned i mean like like what like you don't think it should be commissioned like where were you driving to like yeah you know i think it should just be like that you think they should get like on something on top of that like something no no i'm saying like i don't know what percentage they make like if it costs $20 to go somewhere how much does the driver make oh right right i don't know i don't know how much the driver makes yeah yeah because i don't know what they at let's find this out what does an uber driver average per hour let's find that out like what's an average if you totaled up all the uber drivers in the country all the different places they go what's what's the average that they make per hour I'm going to say $25.

[1141] Depends where you are.

[1142] It depends when they drive.

[1143] According to this, I'm looking at now, some of that's not a bunch of, it's the cities.

[1144] So some under $20 an hour, average of $15 to $17, it looks like.

[1145] Oh, under $20 an hour?

[1146] I would have thought it was more.

[1147] It's an average of eight to, I don't know.

[1148] Yeah, it's a wild change here.

[1149] For Uber, for Uber, I'm surprised.

[1150] I don't want to throw that.

[1151] I don't want to, you know, getting by any ideas, I'm like, has there ever been a thing like where somebody, something bad has gone like happened in the Uber?

[1152] Like you get in there with a crazy motherfucker.

[1153] If I was a girl, I would be very scared to being an Uber.

[1154] That, yeah, that's the true part about Uber.

[1155] You, I wouldn't be scared to be in an Uber.

[1156] If I was a girl, I'd be scared to be in an Uber.

[1157] Yeah, I'm like, does shit like that happen?

[1158] Like, is the Uber driver ever crazy?

[1159] Fuck yes.

[1160] Girls have been raped in Uber's 100 % man. Damn.

[1161] Let's find that out.

[1162] How many times have, let's just, not say Uber.

[1163] Just say ride shares.

[1164] Lift, Uber.

[1165] How many times have women been sexually assaulted by their ride share drivers?

[1166] Or even the guy who's in the Uber pool next to you're like, damn.

[1167] I remember read a story about this woman.

[1168] She got an Uber and the Uber driver was taking her in a weird path and then parked under a bridge.

[1169] And she was like, what in the fuck is happening?

[1170] She called 911, jumped out of the car.

[1171] But this dude took off.

[1172] But he parked under a fucking bridge.

[1173] Like, what are you doing?

[1174] That's fuck, yeah.

[1175] Like, you don't know who they are.

[1176] You don't know anything about them.

[1177] You just hopping in the car.

[1178] Yeah, yeah.

[1179] And that's the thing about Uber.

[1180] Because did that ever happen with taxi drivers?

[1181] Oh, yeah.

[1182] Oh, yeah.

[1183] According to this thing, I'm looking at, according to Uber's data, 42 % of those reporting sexual assault were the drivers.

[1184] Oh, yeah.

[1185] Well, I got...

[1186] A lot of chicks want some dick.

[1187] Is that what's up?

[1188] Or is it girl drivers?

[1189] It could be that, too.

[1190] I've had friends who drove Uber who'd be like, yo man, you know what I'm saying?

[1191] This chick, you know, let me, you know, let me come in in the house.

[1192] I was like, oh, nigga, I need to drive Uber.

[1193] Fuck comedy.

[1194] Well, if girls are drunk and, you know, it's closing time, they get in a ride home and they start viving with the driver, the next thing you know.

[1195] I got friends who, like, got stories.

[1196] I'm sure, but that's okay.

[1197] That's just two people having fun.

[1198] Yeah.

[1199] I'm worried about what happens to the passengers.

[1200] So what is the statistics?

[1201] The article I'm looking at came out in December of 2019, so it doesn't have the 2020 data because it's probably different.

[1202] It said over 3 ,000 cases were reported for Uber.

[1203] There were 19 women at the time that had sued Lyft.

[1204] 30%.

[1205] But drivers especially rough with the 19 % of Uber drivers and 30 % of Lyft drivers who are women are often reported.

[1206] being groped by passengers.

[1207] Okay.

[1208] Yeah, that's a different animal.

[1209] That's female drivers.

[1210] Yeah, that makes sense.

[1211] It's all dudes.

[1212] We're the problem, Jamar.

[1213] Yeah.

[1214] It's all men.

[1215] Just over 3 ,000 reports were nine murders and 50 people kill them.

[1216] That sucks, man. Nine murders.

[1217] By Lyft drivers and Uber drivers?

[1218] During the rides.

[1219] I don't know if it says who did what.

[1220] Or passengers, I'm sure.

[1221] I don't like Lyft because the car's a shittier.

[1222] I don't like the idea of a 96 -tur -sale.

[1223] coming to pick me up a lot when I lived in New York City one of the things that was happening was people were killing gypsy cab drivers there was a rash of gypsy cab driver murders when I lived in New York City so I lived in New Rochelle it wasn't New York City was just outside the city but when I was working in New York City was like I guess I lived there and I moved there in 91ish somewhere around there 91 92 and there was a rash of cab driver murders where they They would, people pick up cabs and say, hey, you know, take me to Queens and then shoot the cab driver and take all their money because a lot of these, there was gypsy cab drivers.

[1224] And gypsy cab drivers are essentially like they didn't have a license.

[1225] And so a lot of it was immigrant dudes.

[1226] Illegal, yeah.

[1227] Yeah.

[1228] And they'd have cash.

[1229] They'd get only cash.

[1230] They didn't have credit card machines.

[1231] So if you got a guy at 2 o 'clock of the morning and that guy had been on his shift since 6 p .m., you knew that dude had a lot of money on them.

[1232] And so they were murdering gypsy cabs.

[1233] drivers at a crazy rate like find Google that sucks you already did that oh okay one of the most dangerous jobs in New York gypsy cab driver what year is this from I don't I couldn't find that but it says since 1990 180 drivers it's two a month I was trying to do the math in that two a month yeah yeah I remember one year I want to say one year there was like it was a high year it's like 48 dudes have been killed it was crazy damn yeah it's horrible man man but I remember like cabs were like really scared to pick people up they'd look at you look at you up and down is that why when was this like in the 90s this must have been in the 90s yeah for like to a month that's 90 months yeah well when I was living there was the 90s so that's that's when I remember years or so is that why they really don't like pick up like certain people like uh you know like like black man can't get a cap like like type I think it's probably more racism than that but it's also like if you are around friends that have been robbed and you're scared and you hear about these people being murdered you know when you think about a cab driver like you you you never know you're you're opening your door and you're they're behind you you have no idea who they are what they there's no metal detector they could have a gun they can have a knife or it can be bin bailey yeah yeah you can win a thousand dollars Yeah, or it could be Patrick Bateman.

[1234] Yeah.

[1235] Someone could fucking kill you for no reason, just for a fun.

[1236] Yeah.

[1237] For a fun time.

[1238] It's a hard job, man, because you're just taking a chance.

[1239] I used to drive limos.

[1240] And when I drove limos, it was like sometimes you would drive people and they'd be really cool.

[1241] And sometimes you drive people and you get really creeped out, man. Just really creeped out.

[1242] Some creepy shit happened to you?

[1243] No, nothing happened to me, but, you know, people would yell at you and you're like, Jesus, man, I'm a human being.

[1244] you don't even know me yeah yeah yeah yelling at me yeah i remember one time some old dude yelled at me and i yelled back at him and there was him and some young dude in the car and they just they panicked i'm like listen man i'll quit this fucking job yo shut the fuck up don't yell at me is there a thing where isn't there a thing where um maybe i heard it in a rap song but like people are putting like people are putting like drugs and like the backseat of like an uber and taking it to like a location like sending it to a certain for sure yeah for sure yeah yeah that's creative yeah that's definitely happened yeah yeah especially if you tell the uber driver you know hey here's an extra whatever for you yeah just just just drive this man it's real easy you don't have to do shit you know i'm a tip you i'm a tip you yeah but especially giving cash yeah the uber driver doesn't have any idea what's in the bag yeah i'm like okay yeah i was just it's like they have uber eats do you like that Uber eats?

[1245] No, I don't fuck with that.

[1246] I don't like that shit either.

[1247] I don't trust anybody to not eat my food.

[1248] Pick it your fries and shit.

[1249] Yeah.

[1250] Spitting your burger.

[1251] And the idea of this motherfucker getting out of the car in regular clothes like he's not But if it's good, listen if it's from a reputable company they seal the bag and everything it's like postmates and shit like that.

[1252] It's a great deal.

[1253] Like you don't want to live especially during the pandemic.

[1254] You don't want to leave your house.

[1255] But I just know people that have, you know, I know people that have gotten food that someone's eaten.

[1256] Yeah?

[1257] I don't like the idea of waiting for somebody to drop off my food.

[1258] I'm like, I got to go get it.

[1259] Yeah.

[1260] I'm a hunter.

[1261] I got to go get it.

[1262] But if you're lazy and you just want them just door -dash it over, do you?

[1263] Yeah.

[1264] Like, I'm dropping you off.

[1265] It's like, listen, if you get a restaurant to deliver your food straight from the restaurant, the benefit is the restaurant doesn't lose all that money.

[1266] One of the things that John Terzian and Craig was saying when they were on the podcast was like they have a margin of profit.

[1267] Their profit margin is like 18%.

[1268] So that means that they need to make more than that in order to have any profit, right, with the amount of expenses it costs to make the food and hire the staff and pay for the space that they work in.

[1269] Well, when you do Uber Eats, you lose money.

[1270] So when these restaurants are selling food through Uber Eats and through.

[1271] DoorDash, they're losing money because it costs more for them to make the food and then have it delivered.

[1272] But they're just trying to keep their customer base.

[1273] They're just trying to stay afloat and make just make, like maybe they're losing a little bit of money, but at least they're they're keeping everybody employed and they're, they got their business rolling.

[1274] And so that's how Craig handles it.

[1275] You know, and their, their idea is that, listen, we just want everybody to be happy.

[1276] This is what we do.

[1277] We make food for people.

[1278] want to make food for people, but if you could have the food delivered by the restaurant itself, you can call the restaurant.

[1279] If they have delivery, it's way better for the restaurant.

[1280] It's way better for the consumer because you're building a relationship with the people that run the restaurant.

[1281] And a lot of times it's actually the servers, like at Craigs, the servers themselves have been delivering food for people because they have very valuable customers.

[1282] Maybe they've been coming to that restaurant for years.

[1283] Yeah.

[1284] Then they'll deliver your, you know, you order some chicken parmesan.

[1285] on, they'll deliver it.

[1286] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1287] Like, Mario!

[1288] Hey!

[1289] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1290] You know?

[1291] What do you think about these bird scooter?

[1292] What do you think about the bird scooter game?

[1293] I think it's a good way to die when you're drunk.

[1294] Watch these people in Austin.

[1295] They're driving around these rickety scooters as two people on a scooter and they're hammered and I'm like, you guys are going to break your fucking shins.

[1296] The thing I don't like about them is that people treat them so bad.

[1297] They leave them anywhere.

[1298] Oh, yeah.

[1299] Like...

[1300] They're rickety.

[1301] Yeah, I think it's...

[1302] I don't know.

[1303] It's...

[1304] We have a...

[1305] sponsor what is the sponsor unagi unagi scooters is one of our sponsors and they gave me one of them it is the shit yeah that thing is they're fun as fuck bad ass it flies and my daughter had one well i you know they sent it to me when i let my daughter use it and she's flying down my driver with them like that thing is fucking fast it's like a bird scooter it's just a really high -end scooter it's like a really high -end electrical scooter you give it like a little bit of a push like it's just sitting there but if you just give it a little bit of a push it like it takes off man you know you can control the speed and everything like that and it's got brakes but um so my daughter used that and then she went and rented one of the scooters that they had in downtown austin and this is this janky rickety and limes school fucking thing that had been beaten up and they'd been jumping over yeah cones with it and it's like oh my god this thing is like barely hanging on no one's no one's running around there and torquing down all the bolts and making sure that everything's in alignment no no those things Those things that those, I mean, yeah, and they treat those damn lime scooters so disrespectful, dude.

[1306] Like, I've seen them in bushes and shit.

[1307] Like, who did that?

[1308] Drunks.

[1309] Like, it's a drunk way of trash.

[1310] They're too lazy to walk.

[1311] And I go, I get there quicker.

[1312] Yeah.

[1313] Just get on that scooter.

[1314] I want one.

[1315] Well, they're trying to do that with a lot of things now where you, you know, you just use your phone and then you can pick up a car.

[1316] Like, they're doing that with cars where they have cars laying around.

[1317] you also cars yeah cars yeah there's i don't know what the company's doing it but there's apps where they leave cars laying around for you and you could use your app and your app will unlock the car and you could just drive the car that sounds too much like bait car i'm like i take this shit somebody going well not only that like who's doing that and are you testing them like maybe they should have like one of them i had a buddy mine who got arrested for d ui and he had like a little tube that he had to blow into before he could start his car so it took like he couldn't ever run away from you yeah yeah because it would take like five minutes for him to start his car yeah so he would get in his car he'd have to blow on the tube it would register it would take a little bit of time and then it would give him a green light and then he could drive off yeah yeah yeah that's what you need if you're gonna have an app where people could just pick up a car what i don't like about them scooters either that you actually need a drivers they make you have a have a valid driver's license to work those motherfuckers what Yeah.

[1318] Or at least, I tried to start one up in L .A. And I, and my driver's license was suspended at the time.

[1319] And then so I was like, what the fuck?

[1320] I was like, I don't know.

[1321] That might be a California thing.

[1322] Yeah.

[1323] The regulations here are very different.

[1324] Oh, okay.

[1325] Like, for instance, if you moved here, I could just give you a gun.

[1326] Really?

[1327] Yep.

[1328] I'd move to Austin.

[1329] Jamar have a gun.

[1330] I know.

[1331] And you would have a fresh, brand new gun.

[1332] You wouldn't have to do any paperwork, nothing.

[1333] Really?

[1334] you can just give me a glop.

[1335] Dude, I've been here eight people who give me guns.

[1336] What?

[1337] Eight.

[1338] Damn.

[1339] Yeah, eight guns.

[1340] I don't know if I can handle a gun.

[1341] You don't think so?

[1342] No, I mean, like...

[1343] Have you shot a gun before?

[1344] Nah, but when I was seven, this nigga named Peanut, let me hold his gun in the hood.

[1345] Peanut.

[1346] And I was like, I was like, it was a seven.

[1347] I was like, this is so heavy.

[1348] Heavy, right?

[1349] Yeah.

[1350] Thank you, Peanaut.

[1351] Well, we're out here.

[1352] I'll take you to the range.

[1353] All right.

[1354] There's a place called the range, indoor gun range.

[1355] It's great.

[1356] All right, yeah.

[1357] How am I going to feel after I shoot these guns, Joe?

[1358] You'd be fine.

[1359] All right.

[1360] You wear headphones so, you know, you block out the sound.

[1361] You wear glasses.

[1362] All right.

[1363] Damn.

[1364] You just need how to do it, learn how to do it correctly.

[1365] Yeah.

[1366] Bang, bang.

[1367] It's fun.

[1368] I want to hold it like this.

[1369] It's very bad for your accuracy.

[1370] It's the Compton way.

[1371] Really want to hold it one hand either No It's not that It's hard to control it Why do people hold the gun this way Looks cool Yeah it is, it is It looks cool to go sideways Fucking minister society shit Yeah like you don't give a fuck I'm so crazy How come no one's doing it upside down All right Right right right Anybody doing next level shit Or anybody doing it that way Yeah yeah You really don't give a fuck about a bunny You don't care about somebody You go handle up Isn't there a thing about somebody Like shooting a gun like shooting a gun like this like kind of sort of like like like kind of like trying like like curved a bullet or some shit like that oh well that doesn't work like a tennis ball angelina jolly movie oh that's what i saw it that's what i saw it that's what i saw it and wanted i saw it and wanted i was like is that really work is that her and bradpit yeah is that when they met was it him it's just her it's just her just her what was the movie mr and mrs jones or something like that mr smith mrs smith yeah that's sad yeah that led to the adoption of a lot of children and bro she took in so many kids well you know listen that's what's great it's great that she does that yeah I respect that's not what's sad what's sad is her and Brad didn't make it how long was they together and they and in a long time like 10 years can I ask you this like do they do they okay since those kids are adopted does she keep them kids that he still go see them kids like bitch you brought them kids over here I do not know I don't know the specifics but I do know there's a there's a rule you know there's like rules of like physics is rules of science there's a there's a rule crazy pussy is the best pussy it is it's the best pussy it is she's clearly crazy it is it's got to be off the charts she's so pretty yeah i mean she's so talented she got fat lips hmm she's like she's like spit on me cute they're ridiculous lips yeah like all those crazy girls that stuff shit into their lips.

[1372] They could only wish they had lips like her.

[1373] Let me see those lips, Jamie.

[1374] Pull up them lips.

[1375] Pull up them lips.

[1376] Pull up them Angelina Jolie lips.

[1377] They're outrageous.

[1378] Those are...

[1379] I was talking about this shit.

[1380] I was like...

[1381] They were so pretty.

[1382] Yeah.

[1383] I was talking about this shit to the homie the other day.

[1384] I was like, damn, boy.

[1385] Let me get a younger Angelina Jolene.

[1386] I was trying to find a good one before I pulled it.

[1387] Is that a real one?

[1388] She reveals...

[1389] Bell's palsy.

[1390] She's got Bells.

[1391] palsy I don't know there's that fake that's the problem with crazy too this is the problem with crazy is crazy comes with all sorts of neurotic shit she bad though oh she's so pretty and her her dad rather her dad is one of the greatest actors ever John Voight John Voit's out of oh that's her dad yeah that's her dad yeah they would talk on the phone this is allegedly I read this in a story they would talk on the phone in character like say if she was playing a British soldier He was playing a guy from Ireland.

[1392] They would talk on the phone in character.

[1393] Really?

[1394] They'd pretend there were these people.

[1395] That's dope.

[1396] So that means that he was kind of like conditioning or like molding her kind of sort of.

[1397] Well, I think they were both adults at the time.

[1398] Both playing make -believe over the phone.

[1399] Yo -ho.

[1400] It's very strange.

[1401] Then she used to like make out with her brother and shit on the red carpet or some shit like that?

[1402] She kissed her brother on the lips on the red carpet.

[1403] Damn she nasty.

[1404] I mean, I don't.

[1405] I mean, if it's like a little.

[1406] little peck that you give your mom like I kiss my mom on the lips I never kissed my sister on lips I love my sister I love my sister too I don't believe I kiss her on the lips either fuck that I mean I have for sure you know tell her I love her but I think that was a little different I think the angelina joly one they held it a little long yeah yeah it was just long enough to be sexy long enough for everybody got super uncomfortable yeah hey yeah but her dad John Void is like a full -on Trump supporter.

[1407] Really?

[1408] Oh, yeah.

[1409] He's one of the weirdest Republican Hollywood types.

[1410] Like, when you hear him talk about, like, conservative values and, like, you're like, oh, this is something else going on here.

[1411] This is not as simple as this guy is a conservative.

[1412] Like, this, like, there's some crazy that's coming out through this ideology that he's got.

[1413] Yeah.

[1414] Have you ever heard him talk?

[1415] John Boyt.

[1416] Have you ever seen Midnight Cowboy?

[1417] There he is.

[1418] Let me hear some of this.

[1419] Let me hear some of this.

[1420] Let me hear some of this.

[1421] We all sit with hope.

[1422] We sit with a prayer.

[1423] My fellow patriots of the USA, how can I begin?

[1424] We've spoken about many times deceit, lies, corruption, and karmic law.

[1425] You all may well ask, why hasn't God done what was asked of him?

[1426] And I'll tell you why.

[1427] He has a plan greater than anyone who asks.

[1428] My fellow Americans, this is the beginning of many disappointments that this administration.

[1429] will bring to this nation.

[1430] Yes, we all know.

[1431] But now what?

[1432] That's what we all ask.

[1433] Now what?

[1434] We see the lie already.

[1435] Our soldiers being mistreated, these men sacrificing with blood, sweat, and tears to protect, and what do they get?

[1436] No need to say, we all know.

[1437] We know.

[1438] I will not sit here and talk about the left because I have, and we know very well that the left are against the greatness that was, and that has left.

[1439] We all know Trump's love for our country and its people.

[1440] He wanted greatness.

[1441] And now we are losing a great accomplishment.

[1442] We all want to know now what now, what?

[1443] Okay.

[1444] I get it.

[1445] I get it.

[1446] He's gone, right?

[1447] There's something going on there.

[1448] Like this, even the way he's talking, it's like...

[1449] I got to pee.

[1450] Go ahead.

[1451] I didn't know if I was like, I got a piece.

[1452] Perfect timing.

[1453] See in a minute.

[1454] I mean, you watch that video.

[1455] What does that even mean?

[1456] The soldiers being mistreated, like, instantaneously?

[1457] Like, Joe Biden takes office.

[1458] Kamala Harris is vice president.

[1459] And immediately, what are they doing?

[1460] They're peeing on soldiers?

[1461] Like, what has happened?

[1462] What is he saying?

[1463] Like, we all know.

[1464] Like, it's just, I wonder what happens when you get that old.

[1465] I really do.

[1466] Because I know I'm definitely dumber than I was.

[1467] like 20 years ago.

[1468] I think.

[1469] Sometimes I'm not.

[1470] Like I have two alpha brains in a bottle of water and I feel like I got it back again.

[1471] But for sure, my memory is like at least a small percentage has deteriorated.

[1472] And I wonder how much of that memory deteriorating is because of just the sheer amount of information that I have in my head.

[1473] I don't think people are supposed to be talking to people four or five days a week three hours at a time about science and psychology and history and all the different things that I'm doing I feel like my brain is overwhelmed I don't know if my brain is capable of all that so I wonder I was just talking about like what happens Jamar's back peep quick you pee quick bro had to force it out I wonder like I was saying like I wonder what happens to old dudes that they get that old and then my memory is like like definitely like slightly less good than it was unless I take like a couple of alpha brains that shit really worked oh yeah for sure yeah I keep them right here man this is uh oh this is empty but uh I take two of them in a bottle of water before anytime I talk to a scientist or any kind of intellectual I'll take two of those these are the alpha brain instance what is it doing exactly well what it does what it's been clinically shown this is a blackberry line lebrackberry lemonade hmm uh what it's been shown to do uh they had two double blind placebo controlled studies from the boston center from memory and it showed that it increased your uh increased your verbal memory meaning your ability to pull up words your ability to form sentences increased it increased your i think it was your reaction time and then the other one was uh alpha flow state you could if you go to on it .com you can read all that shit but what it does for me is for sure it feels like it makes my brain fire smoother and i don't i don't struggle as much to form sentences i don't struggle as much to pull up words how long does it last a few hours oh shit yeah i'm gonna leave with some of that it's just that that um the the machine that's all free just press buttons whatever you want get you alpha brain there's those warrior bars it's all i saw you was also you were also on the uh you were also on the uh you posted about the lion's main yes so i saw you post about that and i was like man let me go get that shit and then i got it and i was like all right joe i i even tagged you i was like all right joe i said uh i said we're gonna see what the fuck you're talking about and i i've taken it i mean i don't i mean i don't know if it works but i'm like if y 'all say it's healthy you know what i'm saying like i take pills and shit like that like do my vitamins so if y 'all say it's healthy i'm i'm out here it's one of those things where some people say like oh vitamins don't do anything for you but those people are never athletes the people that are athletes they all take vitamins because you really do feel it over a long period time you need something and i take something called athletic greens which is a real uh it's a simple powder a super greens powder that i mix in a bottle of water and it's filled with vitamins and nutrients and i also take quercetin and vitamin c and vitamin d what is that what is she Sheila G. I read about it online.

[1474] I think like Bruce Lee used to take it or something like that.

[1475] And it, um, I don't know, but I read that Bruce Lee used to take it.

[1476] And it like, um, it basically does this stuff.

[1477] How do you spell it?

[1478] Oh, Sheila G. S -H -I -L -I -G -J -I -T or something like that.

[1479] Really?

[1480] Shilogy.

[1481] Sheal -G.

[1482] That shit is, um, I mean, it's great.

[1483] It's, um, I don't, I never, ever know what these.

[1484] pills are doing but I do feel sharper when I take them I'd rather take pills I'd rather take like healthy or thing like healthy pills and shit like that not know like the effects but just know that it's you get what I'm trying to say like I know you're saying yeah yeah yeah it's not instantaneous results with vitamins but if you are consistent and you take them over long periods of time you will have better health is just how it is yeah so I mean I mean that's why I mean that's why I take them you know like it's not drugs you know it's not like yeah no listen vitamins are this the the your body has a whole system right your your biological system requires a bunch of different nutrients for it to function that's optimal level and most people are not getting all of those nutrients from food yeah yeah it'd be so hard to get it from food you should eat healthy You should get most of it from food, but you should also get as much as you can from supplements to optimize all your levels.

[1485] So fish oil is a must for me. Vitamin D, D3 is a must for me. Zinc, magnesium, all these different minerals and nutrients.

[1486] Here's what I'm still trying to figure out about vitamins.

[1487] It's like, okay, like, I got a medicine cabinet full of, you know, of good shit or whatever.

[1488] but like how like how like do I take like two at a time or do I take them all together like like we definitely have to take them with food almost everything vitamin wise needs to be absorbed with fat so most vitamins most of them do you take all your vitamins together or do you do them like two at a time I take I take vitamins twice a day and I take them with my meals and I usually only eat twice a day okay so I eat after I used to have I usually have a morning workout and then I eat like around 11 o 'clock and then around then it's when I have my vitamins.

[1489] with my food, and then I have it at night again.

[1490] I have a different pack of vitamins that I take at night.

[1491] How long do you work out?

[1492] How long are your sessions?

[1493] Depends on what I'm doing.

[1494] If I'm doing hard cardio, it's never more than an hour.

[1495] But if I'm doing, like, weightlifting, I like to do it long, and I like to give myself a lot of time in between sets.

[1496] There's a, do you know who Pavel Tatsuline is?

[1497] He's a Russian kettlebell instructor.

[1498] He brought kettlebells over here to America.

[1499] Okay.

[1500] They call him, like, the godfather.

[1501] of Russian kettlebells, but he has this principle that the idea behind, they call it greasing the groove, and the idea behind it is one of the best ways to develop strength is not to work to failure with each set.

[1502] Like say, let's look at it this way, say if you want to do a clean and a press, right?

[1503] And if you do this with, say, 70 pounds, and if you do it with 70 pounds, and you can do 15.

[1504] Instead of doing 15 presses, that's like your max when you get to 15.

[1505] instead of doing that do it with eight just do it like half somewhere around half and that way you do it easy so it's easy to do and then let it sit and then take a long time in between sets and then do another one and do another one do another one do another one do another one but give yourself like 10 minutes in between sets and the idea is that you let your muscles fully recover and then you do more work that way so because your muscles fully recover if you just did say if you only gave your sell like a lot of people go they want to go real hard like you want to work hard like a lot of people i want to push myself which is great if you want to do endurance but even then you got to do it intelligently but when you're lifting weights you will do less work if you push too hard now granted some people don't have the time to work out this way like you need a good solid block of time if you want to do it this way but what his proposal is the most important thing is the amount of repetitions that you do with a weight it's not how many do in a row so if you can only do say 10 10 repetitions don't do 10 do 5 and then back off when you're fine like you're you could keep going but you stop at 5 let it sit a long time for 10 minutes whatever and then do another 5 let it sit do another 10 minutes do another 5 and this way you're going to get a lot of repetitions in So you might get 20, 30 repetitions in, whereas if you just wanted to go straight in a row, you would do 10 and then you would do eight and then you would do five and then you would be burnt out.

[1506] Your arms would be killing you.

[1507] This way you're doing it slow over a long period of time, but you're actually getting in more repetitions.

[1508] And you're not getting as sore in between sets.

[1509] You're not getting as beat up.

[1510] And then your body is able to recover from this more easily.

[1511] and by doing it that way and he even would recommend maybe do a couple sets in the morning and then a couple sets in the evening the idea is that like you know like farmer strength you know like farmers strength farmers are always like chucking hay barrels and shit but farmers don't work to exhaustion they don't ever work to failure they don't ever pick up so many bales of hay they can't pick up whenever bail of hay they work all throughout the day and they develop this ridiculous strength because of that yeah see I don't I don't I don't like bench press I don't I don't lift like I do like a lot of free weights like a lot of like like um like a lot of like dumbbells and shit like that but not like the head motherfuckers be like five they're like five pounds and shit but I'd be like you know I like do this shit like like maybe for like three minutes or some shit like that and I do little shit like that but I don't I don't go big because I don't want to be I don't want to be big I like being like slim and lean but like move fast.

[1512] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1513] And I do fucking weird.

[1514] I do a lot of core workout, too.

[1515] But I work with the, it's like a bar or whatever.

[1516] You know how you hang on a bar to like stretching muscles and shit like that.

[1517] I do a lot of that and then I like turn like my legs and shit like that.

[1518] Oh, okay.

[1519] I do like a lot of like those bar stars type shit.

[1520] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1521] Those guys are the most jacked.

[1522] Yeah.

[1523] Except their legs.

[1524] They always have these little skinny ass legs because they're not really.

[1525] lifting weights?

[1526] Bro, I just started working on my legs.

[1527] You see those bar stars guys?

[1528] They'll have ridiculous shoulders and traps and arms and vies and then toothpicks and sweatpants.

[1529] Legs are like a compass and shit.

[1530] Those dudes are always wearing sweatpants.

[1531] And it makes it easier to stick your legs straight up in the air while you're doing chin -ups because your legs don't wear anything.

[1532] Yeah, see, I do the weight vest.

[1533] Oh, look at you.

[1534] Look at you.

[1535] You're right.

[1536] With the Tims on and the weights.

[1537] You wear Tim's in the weight room I like it And those are ankle weights too Oh nice Oh that's a great way to work out Yeah That's phenomenal So it makes your footwork like Like it helps with footwork and shit too Fuck yeah Do you have a trainer Do you work with it?

[1538] No I go in here and just make shit up Like You should talk to somebody Or you don't even have to talk to somebody But just do some research Just do some YouTube videos and shit like that There's you almost like You don't need a trainer but it's a great tool but you can get a lot of information just off for free off of YouTube all kinds of different workouts but you just want to make sure you don't hurt yourself like don't you don't see this you just said something interesting right you see this one yeah right okay so so that right bro I was doing that shit with a with a 45 and I went too hard and I pulled something I did a thing yeah yeah it's I'm 100 % again but like I pull some shit I went to like I was like what is it what is it is the meat out I was like is it tell me something doc and they were like oh no you just you just pulled up well if you work out hard you could hurt yourself no matter what yeah but it was but you know what I needed that because then I had to take time off the gym it's like yeah bro get out of the gym yeah but you I see what you're doing there and that works that's like the same thing people do with kettlebells or with not kettlebells rather medicine balls where they're like slamming them against the wall and slamming them this way against the wall.

[1539] Or you've seen that one with the rope that has the ball at the end of it and they stand by a wall and they do this, boom, boom.

[1540] Oh, yeah, yeah.

[1541] Bro, you know which one looks crazy and I'm like, I'm still afraid of it is the ropes like this?

[1542] Oh, yeah, those are easy.

[1543] Is it?

[1544] Yeah, yeah.

[1545] They're good.

[1546] They're good.

[1547] It can't be afraid of those.

[1548] What are you doing?

[1549] I'm working on my footwork.

[1550] I'm working on my footwork because those are ankle weights.

[1551] What are you doing, Jamar?

[1552] Hey, look.

[1553] Oh, my, my, look.

[1554] Oh, my God, you're going to hurt yourself with ankle weights on doing backflips?

[1555] I got to be able to do this shit on stage.

[1556] We've got to be able to move on stage.

[1557] How did you learn how to do backflips like that?

[1558] Ghetto -ass kid from Compton.

[1559] So no one taught you how to do it?

[1560] You just figured it out yourself?

[1561] Yeah, I used to watch my big cousin, Sean do them, and then I used to try to be like him, and he kind of taught me how to do it.

[1562] The thing about backflips is if you fucking miss. No, what I'm afraid to do still is the fucking is a front flip.

[1563] Oh, like I've never been.

[1564] I've never been like I did crazy shit and I and people and people think that I'm like I'm just playing but I am drop dead serious but it is great for your footwork though if you have those ankle weights on your body gets used to that and that's all I'm fucking working on too it's like I'm an aquarium so it may be a little unorthodox oh I'm an aquariums that's hilarious but yeah man I'll be like drop dead serious I don't fucking know Joe I just trying to stay in shape I get it I get it listen you have the motivation I'm trying to have fun at the same time though too like so I don't fucking know well if you come out here you can just work out to honor gym well I mean it's right down the street damn it damn it you know I'm coming I know you're coming we gotta get everybody out here yeah man one of the things that I thought of when I moved here I was like I need to make a place where everybody's gonna want to come out here because I don't think we need to be in L .A. We're in L .A. because we all thought we had to be in L .A. I'm from L .A. born and raised.

[1565] My family and shit's out there.

[1566] So I'm like, I've never had to leave my family.

[1567] That's different.

[1568] That's different.

[1569] There's a crazy -ass, yeah, thing there, but I can leave.

[1570] My folks just moved here.

[1571] Really?

[1572] Yeah, they just moved here.

[1573] Fuck, man. Like, that's great.

[1574] Did they move here because of you?

[1575] Yeah.

[1576] Well, they didn't move here by accident.

[1577] Oh, oh, oh.

[1578] I'm trying to make everybody move here, man. All my friends.

[1579] No, I ain't mad at it.

[1580] I'm here for a reason.

[1581] Yeah.

[1582] And one of my big missions here is stand -up.

[1583] Yeah.

[1584] I want to make sure that stand -up has a real...

[1585] It gets real again?

[1586] Well, it just has a real place where it's safe.

[1587] Yeah.

[1588] Like, stand -up is protected.

[1589] Yeah.

[1590] You know, we need to be protected.

[1591] Like, one of the things you realize with COVID, when all these comedy clubs started going under and all this shit started happening no one could perform anywhere.

[1592] Like, a lot of comics that have potential, especially young people that are just starting out, they're going to drop off the map and they might not ever do it.

[1593] I mean, I think about, like, what would happen to me if I was like six months into comedy and then COVID hit?

[1594] And then there was a whole year where I couldn't do stand -up.

[1595] Yeah.

[1596] I might have fallen off.

[1597] Yeah.

[1598] I might have gotten a job.

[1599] I might have gotten a girl pregnant and had a baby and then couldn't do the road.

[1600] and who, you know, I was 21, stupid.

[1601] Who knows what I would have done?

[1602] I may be joined the fucking Marines.

[1603] Dude, those fucking thoughts ran through my head when COVID hit, too.

[1604] And I'm like, in his bits.

[1605] Well, in the beginning days, right, I think we can all agree this to this.

[1606] You don't know if you're ever going to make it.

[1607] And in the beginning days, you're like, it's very volatile.

[1608] It's very dangerous.

[1609] Like, it could all fall apart on you at any moment.

[1610] When did you come to L .A.?

[1611] 1994.

[1612] How long were you doing comedy?

[1613] Six years.

[1614] Oh, okay.

[1615] Yeah, I was already on sitcom I just got, I got so lucky Oh, okay I was the luckiest bitch that's ever lived I've always been so lucky Really?

[1616] Yeah, but so, I'm so fucking lucky Hmm That's fucking dope man Yeah, I feel like something I must have dumped this shit in another life Yeah I must have been a good boy It's so funny because It's so funny because it's like Like I don't know if I was gonna make it And shit it's like I forgot At a point in time I forgot about I forgot about making it I was just out there just because I had some crazy shit to say And next thing you know you're doing all right I know right right right but I think if for me like I decide out of my like like if I just out of mind like if I just gotta be like if I don't think about it like that's when I'm like the best You know like I'm like right right right yeah like it'll stress me to fuck out yeah yeah like it'll stress me to fuck out if I'm over here like fuck man when am I gonna you know like back in the day it's like at the end like then you'll get a set like me at the improv like trying to get fucking shows well that's the thing is like if you think about it too much then it gets in the way of your flow yeah yeah yeah yeah like I and I was a yeah and I was like a chronic like overthinker and I think that's one I think that's one of the reasons why like like earlier in the years like I would like you know like kind of like like like struggle kind of sort of, not like comedically.

[1617] I was just like over, I was just like overthinker and shit, but after a while I was like, man, fuck this shit.

[1618] I was like, I can't function like this.

[1619] Listen, I'm just going to have to do this.

[1620] Yeah.

[1621] Give me that mohawk.

[1622] Well, that's one of the good things about things like, like imagine if you got like a clean sitcom two years into your comedy.

[1623] Imagine.

[1624] What's that like?

[1625] Imagine like CBS came along and said, Jamar, you are the perfect look to be the neighbor in this new sitcom.

[1626] with these two gals and you're going to be their friend but you got to be clean so like you know they told Tim Allen to stop doing stand -up when he was doing home improvement they told him to stop I need to ask him if that's true I'm just here spreading propaganda I'm pretty sure it's true because he stopped doing stand -up for a long fucking time and I believe I read in an article that he was told to stop doing stand -up because his stand -up was too controversial which is hilarious Tim Allen You see what Bob Sagget does?

[1627] Yes.

[1628] Yeah, I'm like, that shit is gnarly.

[1629] Yes, yes.

[1630] Another case, right?

[1631] Yeah.

[1632] He's on that show.

[1633] Stuff like that used to scare me too, because I, you know, I'm not the cleanest, dude.

[1634] You know, so I'm like, I was like, damn, man. I was like, well.

[1635] Listen, that grandmother's smelly pussy joke could be cleaned up.

[1636] You can figure out a way to do that the right way.

[1637] Just say vagina.

[1638] Imagine it's a CBS executive.

[1639] Jamar, we need to talk to you about this grandmother smelly pussy.

[1640] grades bit you're doing um throw a way we can clean that up so i yeah i used to always think about that shit so like when people like would give me opportunity and stuff i was like you sure like have you have you have you seen this shit i do and stuff like that like that shit that shit don't matter like they want you they just want you like they just want you or whatever but they don't want you to do that joke you know like where they yeah so i had to get past that like well you know what it is in the beginning they can say that see once you get to a point where you know if you're Dave Chappelle or something like that.

[1641] He could do whatever the fuck he wants.

[1642] Yeah.

[1643] But if he wasn't Dave Chappelle, like if Dave Chappelle wasn't famous and he tried to do most of the jokes that he's doing right now, there would be some people that would tell him, hey, you know, that joke, you've got to get rid of that joke.

[1644] Or that joke, you've got to stop saying.

[1645] But once you become established, you can kind of do whatever you want as long as it's good.

[1646] But it's like the grandma's stinky pussy joke.

[1647] It's like when you're like a year in or two years into comedy, yeah, it's a tough joke to pull off.

[1648] But when you're 15 years in, like, everybody already knows you're saying wild shit.

[1649] Jamar, I can see you saying that right now on stage and people falling out of their chairs laughing.

[1650] I can see it.

[1651] You know what I'm saying?

[1652] It's like, I think I found my closing.

[1653] My new closing.

[1654] But it's one of those things.

[1655] It's like you just, you just, you need to leave people alone.

[1656] That's what, I mean, you could come up to a comic and say, hey, man, that bit's not, not popping because people think it's too mean or maybe you figure out a way to restructure it or you know like we all give each other advice you know comics give each other pointers and tips and and i know that there's bits that i've done that just didn't work right i'm like god why is that bit not working right because it needs to be restructured yeah you know and sometimes if people if people act like and again i'm like i'm not like oh i'm not like all dirty and shit and it's like but people act like people act like i would do that on the tonight show or some shit i'm like yo if you give me free range i'm gonna say anything i want to do I mean, I want to say, if you tell me to, you know...

[1657] Well, if the Tonight Show was smart, they would allow that shit.

[1658] Bro.

[1659] And then people would start paying attention.

[1660] Thank you.

[1661] Yo, you said it.

[1662] Like, those ratings in those shows are atrocious.

[1663] It's so sad because they're so hampered by that system of, like, super clean.

[1664] Here comes a guest.

[1665] I don't give a fuck about.

[1666] I'm going to ask some questions about their new sitcom or their new movie or the new album, and I don't really care.

[1667] and then the band's going to play and we'll be right back yeah we'll be right back look at this guy's got a trained parrot this is crazy that is kind of interesting and then they have commercials and as long as they don't offend anybody and they keep eyeballs on them they keep going yeah really what they're doing is they're they're dancing enough for you to pay attention to the commercials yeah most of what that show is yeah yeah and they interrupt it all the time yeah like when you do in a sitcom you know you you have these breaks where you got to prepare for commercials like the things that they're set up for commercials these shows like whether it's the tonight show or the late night with colbert they're set up for commercials yeah you can't swear you can't talk crazy you can't do anything wild you got a bunch of executives or mortgages are riding on your show jamar slow down yeah yeah yeah jama i just bought a new home yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and i can't have you on here car talking crazy yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah A grandmother, pussy joke cost me my home My home Where are my children Going to go to school, Jamar?

[1668] Because I can't pay for private school anymore Because of your grandmother's pussy That's really what happens Yeah There's a bunch of people that They hitch up their fucking caboose To your cart Yeah Like fuck Yeah and I mean And I would think that like you would get the best I mean You want the best out of the comics and stuff or the performers and stuff like that.

[1669] And so you want these motherfuckers to be free enough to, you know, do their shit like that.

[1670] I mean, not saying that I wouldn't do those shows, not saying that I wouldn't do those shows.

[1671] Like, you got to, if you want to, if I have to play that game, then I'm going to play it and shit like that.

[1672] But if you want the best out of me, it's like, Daddy got to do what Daddy got to do.

[1673] You're a nightclub comic.

[1674] I've been trying to get these niggas to let me play a dinosaur for years, Joe.

[1675] like for years Jurassic Park No it's a half human half dinosaur His name is Dino Stampinopoulos And I'm trying to get These niggas And let me play him for years You got Who are you trying To get you to play this I was trying to get I was trying to get Adult Swam Oh no You know you have a fucking You have a video on Instagram Hold on Episode 3 What Oh you're so ridiculous I've been trying to get these niggas to let me do this shit for years Look What the fuck is this?

[1676] This is Dino's birthday party Oh my God This is so hilarious It's a half man half dinosaur What?

[1677] How long have you been doing this?

[1678] Bro, I've been doing this character for about like Five or probably like six years And so it's his birthday So the homie bring him a cake Oh my God, this is hilarious That's the homie Nate Oh my God And who are the girls That's not even real No no that's a jiff That's a oh it's a jiff So it's a green screen Oh my god That's hilarious Because I'm looking at these girls Dancing like this is so odd So he got to blow out the candles It's stupid Is the dinosaurs To blow out the candles With fire Oh that's hilarious What made you come up with this Were you high No bro I took a clown class And then I oh Wait wait wait wait wait Oh, fuck.

[1679] You took a clown class?

[1680] Bro, like I, yeah, so I took a clown class, and, um, and we have to do, like, certain characters and stuff like that.

[1681] We had to come up with characters.

[1682] When did you take a clown class?

[1683] Shit.

[1684] You got to check your phone?

[1685] This is 2000.

[1686] What the other day?

[1687] I hadn't taken one.

[1688] Oh, that's my, that's my joker.

[1689] Oh, you have a joker character?

[1690] Oh, no. My black joker.

[1691] I was like, they need a black joker.

[1692] But I, um, I took a clown class probably about, uh, maybe like three years.

[1693] ago and um and so we had to come up with um so we had to come up with a character and stuff like that so i had um i had like uh i had came up with a version well i had already been doing this dinosaur character but now i started adding wings and little shit to it and stuff you had already been doing the dinosaur character yeah yeah yeah they're like earlier versions of that thing where he was wearing green what's the birth of the dinosaur character so me so okay okay so me and my friend geoffrey we were we were like we always like improv together and then so uh we One day we were writing something, and then I was like, fuck this shit, man. I said, man, let's go downstairs and just, uh, and just shoot some sketches.

[1694] Right.

[1695] And then so he was like, all right.

[1696] And I was like, yo, I said, I'm going to grab these green tights right here.

[1697] And, uh, I'm going to grab this tail.

[1698] Don't ask you why I had this shit already in my apartment.

[1699] But I, and then, uh, and I'm playing a dinosaur.

[1700] And then you're going to play a dude who's stopping and frisking this black -ass dinosaur.

[1701] Right.

[1702] And then, and then so we were just like, it just came through like play, you know?

[1703] How much of that do you do?

[1704] Like clown classes and shit like that?

[1705] Just fucking around.

[1706] Oh, that's me. Like, that's, like, I've been doing that shit for years.

[1707] Like, I've actually been doing improv and longer than I've been doing stand -up.

[1708] But only by a year, I ain't going to say like, oh.

[1709] But, like, you know, that'd be my bag, you know.

[1710] Just to be creative, just to be silly.

[1711] Yeah.

[1712] Yeah.

[1713] Just for the love of it.

[1714] That's why the wave pops.

[1715] What is this?

[1716] So he's trying to go back in time.

[1717] He's trying to go back in time to meet his biological parents.

[1718] Dino Stampinopoulos, episode one.

[1719] And it says in parentheses, there's eight of these.

[1720] In this episode, Dino's go back in time to meet his biological parents.

[1721] So thank you for making these fun.

[1722] Oh, my God, who did all this special effects and shit?

[1723] Dave Kirsch, and then so Dino has a malfunction where he now looks like this.

[1724] Oh, no. That's my friend, Jeffrey Baudinger.

[1725] he so anyway I made those props I made that time machine like out of us cardboard box that's his mom that's Dino's mom that's my friend Eureka oh this is so ridiculous Dino's dad with a stupid hat on oh my god Dino's dad has a suit on yeah yeah so this is just like some silly shit that you just decided to just yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah, dude.

[1726] I've been doing shit like that for like years, bro.

[1727] Just for fun.

[1728] Yeah, and that's why I like the wave.

[1729] That's what made the wave fun.

[1730] Like, we would do shit like that all the time.

[1731] I remember I had those green tights back when Dina was green.

[1732] And Kevin Hart, he was one of the judges.

[1733] And I came out, like, when somebody hit a joke and I came out, and I was up to like, and then he was like, what did y 'all tell the black dude he had to do every time somebody hit a joke or whatever?

[1734] They're like, fucking ridiculous You don't have to tell Jamar's shit Hell, you're going to tell me shit I'm like, that's my Tuesday I'm like, that's my Tuesday and a bang energy drink and I'm on So tell me about clown school How'd this happen?

[1735] So truth be told, like I didn't know how to Like, like if you want to know Like origin, origin, origin I didn't know how to start doing stand -up I've been wanting to do stams I was a kid but I didn't know how to - You started when you were 17 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1736] But I didn't know how to start like Like, let me see, it's so many, like, stories, right?

[1737] So I did it once when I was, when I was 16.

[1738] I did this stand -up comedy competition for BET, like coming to the stage.

[1739] It was just an audition because I just wanted to feel how stand -up felt or whatever.

[1740] And I was like, okay, I'll do this.

[1741] How long have you been thinking about doing it before you did it?

[1742] I was a kid.

[1743] I was like, I was young.

[1744] I remember doing stand -up when I was 10 in my classroom because I didn't.

[1745] Yeah, because I didn't have a toy to share.

[1746] It was for Share Day, and I didn't have a toy to share for Share Day, and you got two minutes.

[1747] So I was after like, I'm just going to do some stand -up, right?

[1748] And I've been watching Comic View and all this stuff, and so I get up there in front of, like, this glass, and I was after like, yeah, man. My grandma's pussy is so sticky.

[1749] At this time, my grandma's pussy was so hairy.

[1750] Because she was younger, so the funk hadn't hit like that yet.

[1751] And then so, but my friend was like, yo, how are you going to start doing stand -up?

[1752] I was like, I don't know, man. Maybe I'll start doing like some clown stuff or something like that.

[1753] I was like maybe like 15.

[1754] I was like, maybe I start doing like some clown stuff or something.

[1755] Oh, yeah.

[1756] And I heard about like a clown school in San Francisco.

[1757] And I was like, oh, yeah, maybe I'll do that.

[1758] And then that didn't happen.

[1759] And a friend was like, like, once you just go to like an open mic or something like that.

[1760] And I was like, oh, is that how you get started?

[1761] And I was like, all right, then maybe I'll do that.

[1762] But like, fast forward, I had a lot of time on my hands.

[1763] back in 2018 I wasn't doing shit and I was at the like man I was like nigga you should take a class I was like you're already in the wave you already do I was like just go take a class whatever so I took a clown class and it's called the clown school I'm like on their website and shit I'm like the only nigga I'm like the only black like on their website and shit and I just started doing it in 2018 and it you know what's so fun about that is that like if you didn't know what made you funny as a person or whatever like they hill help you find like your inner clown you know you know what's the first day of clown school like so so i remember i remember this uh i remember this assignment first of all i walked in there with some doc martins on right they were they were maroon doc martins they look like um they look like clown shoes but they're maroon doc martins and the clown teachers that they're like hey take those off and i was like why it was like just take them off and then it dawned on me i was oh, I was probably disrespecting clown because he probably thought that that's what I thought a clown was, whatever, people who wear shoes like this, because Doc Martin's do kind of look like, you know, clown shoes if you, whatever.

[1764] And then so did you explain?

[1765] No, but I dawned to me, I was like, hmm, that's probably why.

[1766] You really think you thought it was disrespectful?

[1767] To the whole art of clown or whatever.

[1768] He was like, oh, you think clowns just wear big shoes and get out of small cars?

[1769] That'd be a funny sketch, dude.

[1770] a guy who teaches clown classes but he's like really sensitive about the art of being a clown and he's a purist is a clown purist What do you got a rubber nose on?

[1771] Get that fucking nose off So it's so fucking funny right I remember the first assignment though was hey Come through this door 10 funny ways And I was like I was like oh that sounds funny So I mean so that sounds fun So I was just coming I would do like a physical act or whatever, but I would do it 10 funny ways.

[1772] I would come in as a robot, and I would come in as a...

[1773] Did you ever come through naked?

[1774] No. You should have finished with that.

[1775] You should take that class, and then you should do that.

[1776] What?

[1777] Up now!

[1778] But you know what?

[1779] They don't limit shit like that, though.

[1780] Like, if you wanted to do some shit like that, because they want you to be free.

[1781] Oh.

[1782] Got it.

[1783] Yeah, so I remember that assignment, come through this door ten funny ways.

[1784] What did you do?

[1785] um so i came in like i came in like crawling and shit like that and then i came in like retarded and shit like that i came in i came in spinning like this or whatever and i remember i like hop backward like a kangaroo and shit like that and it was a it was a much of shit like that what did other people what were they like what were the other people in the class like some motherfuckers in there were good like really because the because the thing about clown is like is that they they say like the the The wrong answers are what's funny.

[1786] So, you know, like, if you come in, if you come in or whatever, and then you accidentally trip and shit like that, like it was an accident, that's what the clowns is.

[1787] The clowns are the mistakes and stuff like that.

[1788] And, you know, the red nose is actually just put you in the spirit of being a clown and being silly.

[1789] But the Maroon Doc Martins don't?

[1790] Exactly.

[1791] Exactly.

[1792] You know what that's like?

[1793] That's like a bad stand -up coach giving you advice on stand -up.

[1794] up, that has happened to a lot of people.

[1795] We're taking stand -up classes from people that aren't even good comics.

[1796] You've taken stand -up classes?

[1797] No, no, I never have.

[1798] But I took acting classes from someone who was a terrible actor.

[1799] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[1800] Like, man, I get more work than this dude.

[1801] Like, why?

[1802] Well, I had to take them.

[1803] It was part of my deal.

[1804] I had never taken any acting classes before, and I had a sitcom deal.

[1805] Yeah.

[1806] And I had to take acting classes.

[1807] So I took acting classes.

[1808] And as I was taking acting classes, I was realizing the person teaching me was terrible.

[1809] terrible like I was more I was better at pretending to be real than this person was yeah what made them like they were so fake Jamar there was nothing about them that made sense the way they talked just didn't seem real you know some shit yeah you know some people can some people you could take an athlete right a baseball player who's never acted in their life and they just know how to be real and they'll memorize that shit and they could pull it off as good as any fucking actor.

[1810] There's people out there with talent.

[1811] They just don't even know it.

[1812] Because acting is a weird talent.

[1813] Like you got your Denzel Washington, you got your Daniel DeLuis, you got your, there's levels, right?

[1814] There's Christian Bales.

[1815] There's levels to acting.

[1816] But then just regular acting that a lot of people do, there's a lot of people out there that can act, a lot that can do that regular shit.

[1817] I had this, I had this epiphany maybe like two years ago where I was like, man, I was watching a commercial.

[1818] I was looking at commercial actors and stuff like that but at the end of day they're actors yeah and i was just looking at it and i was like damn ain't it crazy how that guy is in the same profession as denzil washington right him and denzil washington do the same thing they have the same job yeah that's yeah but that's how it is with every profession right there's there's i mean that's how it is with people who make steak you know there's chefs who they make a steak and you eat it you're like god damn yeah and then there's a dude at denny's who cooks steak.

[1819] You get your steak and eggs at Denny's like, oh, damn, it's food.

[1820] It's food.

[1821] I'm hungry.

[1822] You eat it.

[1823] But there's something about acting that, you know, it's so hard to get a job to be an actor that we assume that, you know, how many times of athletes, there's been a bunch of times where athletes have, like, what was the, um, the fucking Adam Sandler movie?

[1824] What is it, gems?

[1825] What is it?

[1826] Hidden gems, uncut gems, and Kevin Garnett's in it, and Kevin Garnett is excellent in it.

[1827] Really?

[1828] Yes, excellent.

[1829] You would think he's a fucking actor, and he's not.

[1830] He's just a great basketball player.

[1831] I mean, there's many instances of things like that.

[1832] I mean, I can think of, I bet if I just had time to go over and do like a Google search actors, athletes who have acted in films.

[1833] There's a lot of them, man. can do it.

[1834] Who do you think is the best athletic?

[1835] I mean, I mean, athlete that's an actor.

[1836] The biggest one right now.

[1837] The Rock?

[1838] Oh, yeah.

[1839] But it's not.

[1840] Yeah.

[1841] Kind of.

[1842] Pro wrestling is so entertainment -oriented, though.

[1843] He didn't play pro football, but he got close.

[1844] Right.

[1845] But, I mean, but he was so, he had done.

[1846] Arnold Schwarzenegger.

[1847] Sort of.

[1848] I mean, I guess he had a pro -sport, I guess.

[1849] What did he play?

[1850] Oh, he's a body build.

[1851] He's a, but yeah, it's kind of.

[1852] Like that, shit like that on, yeah, I don't count that.

[1853] Like Terry Cruz played for the Rams or some shit, right?

[1854] Terry Cruz is another great example.

[1855] There's a lot of them, the people who have figured out how to act.

[1856] But have they figured out how to act like Robert De Niro?

[1857] You know what I mean?

[1858] Like, there's levels.

[1859] There's levels.

[1860] There's levels, like, especially Robert De Niro before he was just cash and checks.

[1861] You go back to, like, Cape Fear, Robert De Niro.

[1862] You know, like Goodfellas, Robert De Niro.

[1863] Yeah.

[1864] Like, there's levels.

[1865] There's levels.

[1866] And I guess there's levels of clowns, too.

[1867] God damn right, God.

[1868] I'm level, too.

[1869] But there's levels to poetry.

[1870] Like, I was reading, I was listening to some poetry being read the other day and just cringing.

[1871] And I had to shut it off.

[1872] I was like, Jesus Christ.

[1873] Some people, they read poetry, and it's just like, ugh.

[1874] It's just goofy.

[1875] It's transparent.

[1876] It doesn't work.

[1877] But then occasionally you'll stumble upon some woman who's reading poetry.

[1878] And you're like, oh, shit.

[1879] Like, this resonates.

[1880] This is real.

[1881] And I don't know why.

[1882] Poetry is one of the easiest things to make cringy.

[1883] Hell yeah.

[1884] The easiest.

[1885] Yep.

[1886] I used to go to poetry lounges all the fucking time.

[1887] And you, it's such, like, in comedy, you see some bad comedy.

[1888] You'd be, they're like, man, it's a trash.

[1889] You know what I'm saying?

[1890] You can express that.

[1891] You know what I'm saying?

[1892] You can't do that shit.

[1893] Like, this bitch is talking about her grandma in a very terrible fucking clunky.

[1894] A very green way.

[1895] Green's a good way to put it Yeah Like it But you can't boo that I went to a poetry slam once With Brian Callan in Venice He's like you gotta come see this I go what is it He's like there's like there And it was so bad Yeah it was so bad And then sometimes people Would snap their fingers When they like things They would like it They wouldn't clap They would snap their fingers It was so clunky Joe I remember one time I went to It was gonna trip you up I went to a poet lounge and I was dressed as a I was dressed as a as a baby what were you wearing a diaper bro I was wearing it's a blue it's a blue bonnet it's a or like those little uh baby caps or whatever I had on a bib I had on a diaper and uh and it was called the character was called crack baby be from Compton because I swear to God and I went up there and I went up there and I was like and I had a wagon I had a wagon and the wagon had toys and I got the picture up on my motherfucking page Find it, wait a minute Jamie's on it How far?

[1896] How long ago was this?

[1897] About 2000, about 2018 and it's called Crack Baby from Compton I'm holding like this all And anyway so I went up there, but they thought that I was about to go be deep and talk about my mother and how she, and I was up there.

[1898] I was telling jokes as the crack, baby.

[1899] That would be a great way to do it.

[1900] Like, talking about your mother.

[1901] And guess what?

[1902] And when I was doing that shit, and when I was doing that shit, just I was telling jokes and stuff instead of doing poetry, whatever, but I was at a poetry lounge, somebody heckled me. Yeah, somebody heckled me because I had a joke, I had a joke.

[1903] I was like, knock, I was like, I can't even do the voice right now, but I was like, knock, knock.

[1904] And then somebody was up there, like, somebody was up there like, bye, nigger.

[1905] Like, instead of who's there, there was up there, bye, nigger.

[1906] And I was after like, ah, nigger, yo mama.

[1907] Right.

[1908] I, like, went back into my, like, how are you going to heckle a nigger doing a crack baby from comedy?

[1909] That was a baby.

[1910] How rude.

[1911] Well, they're probably upset that you weren't taking seriously.

[1912] This is poetry.

[1913] I thought it was poetic.

[1914] I mean, who else would come up here?

[1915] Like, actually, I felt like I was more vulnerable than them.

[1916] I was the one naked.

[1917] Yes.

[1918] Isn't it funny though the people There's a thing that people do with comedy too Where they get upset about what happens before them And that was one of the things he would get with prima donnas They would get upset if someone was dirty before them You know like I don't want that guy going on before me He's too dirty He talks about this There's you That was basically the character But Is there other pictures Uh 2018 is probably in Jamie's furiously scrolling easier to find him on Twitter but his Twitter account got suspended you got suspended on Twitter so first of all first of all fuck Twitter like I love Twitter but fuck them because all right bro I had like I just I had just got, like, a gang of fucking followers, okay?

[1919] This is what the fuck.

[1920] This is what the fuck I did, and this is why they canceled me. I was verified on my original one, and so I was doing the profile switch where I, so I would change my profile to Donald Trump's profile picture, and I would change, like, all of that.

[1921] And then so when I tweeted, it looked like Donald Trump was tweeting.

[1922] Right.

[1923] And then so I was tweeting shit like, I'm in the mood for a mozzarella hot dog with bacon on it, right?

[1924] And then all these people were like, this is your fucking president?

[1925] Because people thought that it was really him.

[1926] I would tweet, I would tweet, like, and so this is, so I tweeted this.

[1927] No, I tweeted this during the election.

[1928] It was during the election when, like, I could probably sway votes and shit.

[1929] Like, you know, like with this verified account.

[1930] And I tweeted, if I lose this election, I'm going to go live in a train car in London, you know, and then.

[1931] That's it?

[1932] Mm -hmm.

[1933] And then the next time I tried to tweet, My shit was suspended That's it Yeah And they show porn on Twitter That they show anal porn Yeah They show girls taking it right in the ass To mouth They show everything But you can't act like the president But that's ridiculous If you look at the actual account How stupid are people It's like my name was right next to it It says to more neighbors Why do you think that's really the president And they cancel the shit out of my shit That's so crazy That doesn't make any sense at all They said I violated the rules Oh come on You're a comedian.

[1934] That's parody.

[1935] That's fun.

[1936] Do we live in a weird time, man?

[1937] Are you paying attention to all the stock market shit with GameStop?

[1938] So I heard a little bit about it.

[1939] We covered it a little bit yesterday.

[1940] My friend Saugger and Jetty from Rising the Hill, he covered it and we played some of his shit.

[1941] What basically is going on is these people who are speculators on Wall Street, you know, they short stocks, meaning they are gambling that a stock is going to lose value.

[1942] And so then these Redditors, these smart dudes on Reddit, like, you know what, fuck these people.

[1943] Let's just buy a bunch of this stock and jack that price up.

[1944] And so they all got together thousands of them.

[1945] And they bought a shit low of that stock and the price went fucking flying, like went way up.

[1946] Yeah, yeah.

[1947] And so then all the hedge fund people that were gambling on it losing money, they lost billions of dollars, like instantly.

[1948] And Wall Street started panicking.

[1949] And so then they realized these Redditors realized they can do this.

[1950] So they started doing with other stocks, like movie theater stocks.

[1951] And so then this app called Robin Hood, which is an app, which is Robin Hood is supposed to be, steal from the rich, give to the poor.

[1952] That's the story of Robin Hood.

[1953] Instead, they are protecting all these hedge fund people by stopping people from doing this.

[1954] So they're stopping all the sale of these stocks that these Redditors all get excited about.

[1955] So these people, even if they buy the stock, now they can't sell it.

[1956] Or now they, is that what it is or they can't buy it?

[1957] They can't buy it.

[1958] They can't buy it anymore.

[1959] They can't sell, but they can't buy it.

[1960] So they've essentially tried to do what they can to stop this scam.

[1961] And everyone is furious at them.

[1962] So much so that I sent you an article that Google removed over 100 ,000 one star reviews from their app store because they were saving this.

[1963] application from having one star in the Google app because everyone was so mad in them.

[1964] But meanwhile, that's a legit criticism.

[1965] Here it is.

[1966] Google salvaged Robin Hood's one -star rating by deleting nearly 100 ,000 negative reviews.

[1967] Unhappy users have been review bombing the app.

[1968] So that's what's going on.

[1969] What basically has happened in Jamar's all these people forever have been manipulating the stock market and making a shitload of money doing it.

[1970] hedge funds all these billionaire Wall Street people now regular folks on Reddit are starting to do the exact same thing and they're making millions of dollars millions of dollars in the apps with with stocks and they're trying to figure out a way to stop these people from doing this because they don't want them to be able to do it they want Wall Street normal people are yeah normal people are being penalized for figuring out a new way to hack the system that Wall Street has been manipulating forever I need to tell my...

[1971] Is that accurate?

[1972] What I said?

[1973] That's an accurate way describing it?

[1974] Basically.

[1975] That's a very good...

[1976] Simple way to describe it.

[1977] There's more levels to it.

[1978] Sager did a much better job of it.

[1979] You can go to their YouTube page, Crystal Ball and Sager and Jettie.

[1980] It's called Rising the Hill.

[1981] It's my favorite political talk show because there's a person, Sager's on the right and crystals on the left, but they're both honest and objective, and they discussed how fucked up this is.

[1982] is and how crazy it is.

[1983] It's gone on.

[1984] So after yesterday...

[1985] It's still going on today?

[1986] Yeah, so after yesterday, it went on through the stock market.

[1987] Because the shutdown happened, I think people's attention was like, well, if they're going to do that to us, let's take it over the crypto market.

[1988] And so now the Dogecoin, which started as a complete joke, has like skyrocketed to, not a joke anymore.

[1989] It hit an all -time high of almost 10 cents yesterday, but it was so minuscule you wouldn't have understood why you have millions of shares in this.

[1990] Didn't Elon tweet that too?

[1991] So Elon has been adding to this.

[1992] like he'll tweet something and it'll make something spike he like i had bitcoin to his info i think his bio and also that gentleman who's running for governor of california how do you say he's i don't know if he's actually running for because i i saw him get asked that he's like is this real and he was like well technically you know recall gavin newsome i don't think he's officially he's not fought paperwork or anything you know he's having fun yeah i think so yeah he's having fun but he's he's he's an he was he was with google or with facebook google but did you have anything to do with Facebook ever?

[1993] Probably.

[1994] Probably.

[1995] Find out if he did.

[1996] Because I'm reading Matt Taibi's book, Hate Inc. Yes.

[1997] Earlier at Facebook, maybe not Google, maybe it was Facebook then I'm sorry, instead of Google, correct.

[1998] Okay.

[1999] But he's basically explaining in one of his tweets recently, pull that up because he was comparing Robin Hood to Facebook.

[2000] And he's saying that they pretend that you're a customer, but you're not a customer.

[2001] In fact, you're the clients.

[2002] And they, you know, what you are is you're the product and they pretend that they're doing you service but what they're really doing is they're taking all of your data and they're selling it and they're getting rich and they're not giving you any of that money and that's the same thing with Robin Hood it's the same sort of scenario he he laid it out in his Twitter but it's it's a situation where once this genie's out of the bottle where these regular people have figured out how to manipulate stock markets and truth be told i don't know jack's shit about stock markets i don't know anything i literally barely pay attention but dave figured out how to manipulate it and once they figured out how to do this they can keep doing this they can unless i don't know how they're going to stop it i have no idea how you're going to stop reddit how you're going to stop these intelligent fucking people with plenty of time i mean so they're organizing i mean so can like um like like but you'd have to know how to actually do it because i was over here like me Maybe I should call my brother and tell him he should get in on this.

[2003] But it's like a Ponzi scheme.

[2004] It's like a pump and dump, right?

[2005] The idea is like you get in early and then it gets to a certain point.

[2006] You got to realize like, okay, it's time to get out.

[2007] It's time to get out.

[2008] Like if you buy it a dollar and then it gets to $30 and then you're like, shit, this is my crash soon.

[2009] Get out now.

[2010] I don't know what the number would be.

[2011] I'm just saying it.

[2012] I think that's what a lot of people think.

[2013] But the understanding I have of this game stop situation is what makes it a little different is that short squeeze situation is where there's contracts, which I think it just happened because the market just closed.

[2014] Because those contracts exist, someone has to buy that contract at the end of the day when the contract comes to...

[2015] When is the market close?

[2016] Four o 'clock every day.

[2017] Oh, four o 'clock?

[2018] It just closed half an hour ago.

[2019] So that's what this big issue was, was these contracts you could tell we're going to close on the 29th, which is Friday at 4 p .m. And when that happens, whoever holds that contract has to fill, they have to fill the contract.

[2020] So they'll find the shares Oh, so that's why these hedge fund people are fucked.

[2021] So we'll see what happens after the next couple days, which, like, after hours trading, it's not something a retail investor gets to do, and this has funds do get to do.

[2022] And that's what was happening maybe two days ago.

[2023] They were driving the price down because they have the ability to do that.

[2024] They have abilities that retail investors don't have, and that's really the big argument I feel like is going on right now.

[2025] It's like, they can do shit we can't do.

[2026] It's all so weird because the stock market has always been this weird number thing that's based on confidence.

[2027] Like you can decide, buy, sell, where is it going?

[2028] Where's it going?

[2029] Sell, sell, sell, sell.

[2030] Sounds stressful.

[2031] Oh, my God.

[2032] I had a friend of mine that I used to do Taekwondo with that became a stock market guy, and he was just into Coke and hookers.

[2033] And then he got into the stock market.

[2034] And I ran into him once.

[2035] This is when I was doing stand -up.

[2036] I hadn't seen him forever.

[2037] He's like, not a guy that you would think of being as a market guy.

[2038] He was a tank.

[2039] he was like 510 220 big thick fucking neck always partying just a fucking animal I think he was on steroids and I ran into him and he was just doing coke and drinking and tell him he's in the stock market now I was like you're a stock you're a stock broker he's like bro it's fucking fun man I fucking love it man we're selling stocks we're making money like he was an animal like this dude was I thought of a stock market analyst as being a guy with like a pocket protector Warren Buffett or some shit.

[2040] Back in the day, I thought they had a calculator and a computer and they really knew a lot about the business and they were just really calculated about their investments and then I ran into this wild dude that I knew from my fighting days.

[2041] I'm like, this guy's wild.

[2042] I'm like, you're a stockbroker?

[2043] And he was like, dude, that's what we do.

[2044] How long has they been in it?

[2045] We're talking about a long time ago.

[2046] I just ran into him randomly at a comedy club but he had been doing it for a few years.

[2047] I always think that I want to get into that.

[2048] I'm like, I'm like, oh man well you start like maybe you should buy some stock and but then i'm also like nigga what are you talking about you need no stock is and i'm like yeah but i should still buy some right like you're too busy with clown college you don't know how are you gonna know what you're what you're investing in i don't know so i i was like i was like i had this idea where i was just like if i ever did invest in anything it would probably be uh copper do you think that the stock market's broken now why copper well because i figured i've Go back to that.

[2049] I figured that copper isn't everything, you know.

[2050] Like, it takes copper, like, it takes copper to make batteries.

[2051] So, you know, all people will always buy batteries.

[2052] That's true.

[2053] Is copper and batteries?

[2054] Right.

[2055] It's called Dura -Sil, the copper top.

[2056] Oh, yeah.

[2057] That's how I make my.

[2058] What about energizers?

[2059] They don't have.

[2060] But then pennies.

[2061] Yeah.

[2062] I'm fucking hate pennies.

[2063] Bro.

[2064] I'm not a fan.

[2065] Round that shit off.

[2066] Why is it every time you need a penny, you can't.

[2067] can't find a penny.

[2068] Well, there's been scams where they've rounded, they've stolen like a penny on a dollar on things, and they've made millions of dollars on that.

[2069] That's what the, uh, that movie is about with Ben Affleck and the, uh, Gianvanii, or B .C., I can't think of right now.

[2070] Right.

[2071] That's where her.

[2072] That's right.

[2073] That's right.

[2074] And that's a stock market.

[2075] And then the office space thing, too.

[2076] They were like shaving off a tent of a penny.

[2077] That's right.

[2078] Yeah.

[2079] Well, that was one of Bernie Sanders ideas.

[2080] That's one of the things that made me attracted to what he was saying about.

[2081] the ability to raise money to pay off student loan debt and for Medicare for all.

[2082] The idea was that they were going to take a small amount of each speculation bet on Wall Street.

[2083] So this same kind of shit that we're talking about with GameStop that fucked over these guys.

[2084] Like before that, like those speculators, he was going to take a small percentage less than one cent off of each individual sale and speculation.

[2085] and that was going to he said he was going to raise trillions of dollars just doing that and it makes you think like oh wait a minute is that possible that's possible that sounds like a good way to do it like that there's a shitty thing they're doing anyway like yeah take a time like if you're not willing to pay a small portion of it like a percentage of a cent yeah like what is if you took a whole cent let's say they took one penny off of every speculation you're not willing to pay one cent yeah yeah that is brilliant yeah one cent yeah one sense yeah one Even one cent would be like, I'd be like, that's reasonable.

[2086] Like if you wanted to buy a house and they're like, well, we need taxes.

[2087] Okay, well, how much?

[2088] A penny.

[2089] Okay, well, how much?

[2090] Yeah, yeah.

[2091] Okay, I'm going to buy a car.

[2092] Well, we need taxes.

[2093] How much?

[2094] A penny.

[2095] Who's going to complain about a penny?

[2096] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2097] If everything was one penny.

[2098] Yeah.

[2099] One penny and sales tax for everything.

[2100] Are they getting rid of auto coins?

[2101] Auto coins?

[2102] Are they getting rid of all the coins?

[2103] Oh, all the coins.

[2104] Like, isn't that a thing right now?

[2105] Are they?

[2106] That's how saying there's like a coin shortage.

[2107] Is a shortage?

[2108] Where are they all going?

[2109] I built, I, I think it was, there was, Fountains, they couldn't, fountains, fountains up, the mints, wishes.

[2110] He said wishing.

[2111] I think the mints closed because of COVID, and so they couldn't keep making them.

[2112] And so there wasn't enough going around in circulation.

[2113] So they're thinking about getting rid of coins?

[2114] No, no, I don't know if they're getting rid of them.

[2115] I just know that most of the year there's been a shortage.

[2116] Like when you go to the places, like pay with card only, we don't have cash.

[2117] Bro, you know what my favorite shit to do is ever, because I'm such a dork.

[2118] I like paying for things with Apple pay.

[2119] I like going double -click, look at my face, do -do, and buying my groceries.

[2120] Like, look at that.

[2121] Look at that.

[2122] I'm in the future.

[2123] I love Apple Pay.

[2124] I just got into tapping my cart.

[2125] I just got into that.

[2126] Yeah, I'm still doing the chip, pushing in the chip.

[2127] I remember when that was new.

[2128] That was new.

[2129] Yeah.

[2130] Now you can just tap it and then.

[2131] I've never tapped.

[2132] I never get to work.

[2133] I did it at an arcade the other day.

[2134] An arcade?

[2135] You go to arcades?

[2136] What are you playing, Pac -Man?

[2137] Oh, Joe, I was doing the punching machine.

[2138] Oh, what's your high score?

[2139] Oh, okay, so the high score was, the high score was 900, and I got 808.

[2140] Yeah, yeah, but it was a, yeah, there were some, there were some chicks who were with me and shit, and they were hitting that shit.

[2141] I was like, God damn.

[2142] I was like, y 'all do need us.

[2143] It's just over here getting 285 and shit, like.

[2144] Yeah.

[2145] Like, there's a trick.

[2146] to those punching machines.

[2147] You got to kind of, you got to throw a hook.

[2148] Oh, that's how I did it.

[2149] It wasn't a straight.

[2150] Straight punches.

[2151] You can do, you can get a lot with straight punches, but really what you want to do to stand beside it.

[2152] That's how I got my 808.

[2153] Shovel punch, yeah.

[2154] Yeah, I'm not like a brute.

[2155] I'm like, I knew what I was doing.

[2156] You got a shovel punch that motherfucker.

[2157] Yeah.

[2158] Those are very addictive, though, those punching machines.

[2159] Dude, I swear to God, we spent like $15 on that thing, dude.

[2160] Just trying to get our eagle up, you know?

[2161] I broke my knuckle on one once.

[2162] Really?

[2163] Yeah, because you know how they have the leather pad?

[2164] Like, there's the ball.

[2165] Yeah.

[2166] And then there's a leather pad of the metal thing.

[2167] Yeah.

[2168] And I was like, the little ball was deflated and they didn't have a pump.

[2169] So I'm like, let me just punch that metal thing.

[2170] And I blasted that fucking thing.

[2171] My knuckle was cracked for a long time.

[2172] Have you ever broke one in the machines?

[2173] No, I never broke the machine.

[2174] But I did get told to stop kicking it.

[2175] Because I was kicking it.

[2176] Dude, you're a kid.

[2177] I was trying to figure out.

[2178] I was trying to figure out what's the best way to do it.

[2179] I was like, wheel kick would be the best way to do it just blast that motherfucker did you get it yeah yeah yeah oh yeah you could but but my my heel after i hit it was bouncing off the back of the machine because because you go through the bag and yeah the trajectory is you know your legs are longer than your arm yeah yeah yeah bouncing it off the machine after i hit it you're just you're destructive i was like this is just can you get one of those machines in here i should right shit i should have one of those machines in here Okay, that's it.

[2180] It's on.

[2181] Whoever makes those machines, holler at me on Instagram.

[2182] We'll find it.

[2183] Hollar at Jamie.

[2184] This is better.

[2185] Hollar at me, I'm not going to read it.

[2186] But holler at Jamie.

[2187] We'll get one of those.

[2188] Oh, bro.

[2189] Speaking of arcade, I was riffing with my friend the other day about this arcade game.

[2190] I drew it.

[2191] I drew it and I was just fucking around.

[2192] I was just an art piece.

[2193] But I was like, oh, this should be a real thing.

[2194] I said, okay, it's like Street Fighter.

[2195] but instead of using like you know the street fighter people it's got murder mayhem and a murder mayhem USA so what you do is you actually use all the murderers in u .s. history and like like but having to fight against each other yeah so you can pick oj you could pick the dylan roof and then have them like fight each other and shit dude yeah wow jeffrey domber versus yep ted bundy hell yeah bro casey anthony bros he's swinging a baby at you and shit you play it we're getting that in here too and then I'm moving to Austin that could sell people would get furious like you remember how people got really mad at Grand Theft Auto because you could kill a hooker with a crowbar yeah yeah yeah what are you doing like you know they think like you're going to encourage people to go do that but it doesn't really work that way yeah why would I ever fucking really do that unless I was like the grim sleeper it doesn't work that way though there's no evidence that like violence and video games actually encourages violence But some people believe it does.

[2196] Like some people believe that call of duty makes people want to go shoot people.

[2197] You'd figure that you get your violence fix from that.

[2198] And then I'm done.

[2199] Yeah.

[2200] All right.

[2201] That's what the Japanese believe.

[2202] They believe that you get your, like, they believe in like kinky videos and like violence and stuff that you get all of it out of your system that way.

[2203] You don't actually go and perpetrate it.

[2204] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[2205] What do you got that, Jamie?

[2206] Oh, that's right.

[2207] on Twitter and it's on Twitter and it's on Twitter where you can't pretend to be the president but you can watch a dude stick a fucking cue tip of a dude's ass at the airport there is this real what is this this is this is COVID test at the airport now why is this person dressed up like a prisoner oh it's a mannequin yeah I was like that feels like that's weird she like a bitch in the ring like if you were having sex with the girl doggy style like that you'd be like what are you doing with your legs I'm like well first is our ass is uncomfortable so they're showing you how to do it.

[2208] They stick it.

[2209] They dig it in there.

[2210] Okay.

[2211] So is that real?

[2212] That's how they're going to do COVID test now.

[2213] It comes out brown.

[2214] And you stick it up your asshole.

[2215] Yeah.

[2216] What do you do if someone's got diarrhea?

[2217] And the moment you put it in there is like popping the cork off the bottle and just champagne.

[2218] They're going to hold it for the test.

[2219] Oh, yeah.

[2220] Oh, yeah.

[2221] Oh, yeah.

[2222] Stivo is going to fly to China just to do a video hey check my ass I might have it blasto that's ridiculous and people are gonna and people are gonna actually do this of course there's some people they're gonna be happy use two Q -tips because one's not enough all these two mask people there's any chance that people in China are trolling us they're like oh no they're gonna believe this too wait like this is certainly it's not real it's certainly a possibility we don't know making fake cool shit man This is certainly a possibility that they're trying to undermine society in America by, like, pretending they're doing things here and we start doing it.

[2223] Do you see they're telling you to wear three masks now?

[2224] Some people are saying three masks are 90 % effective, but two masks are only 70 % effective.

[2225] You should wear three masks.

[2226] Now we've got to wear two masks.

[2227] They're telling you to wear two masks.

[2228] And a lot of people like, I'm happy to wear two masks.

[2229] Happy.

[2230] The same people that take photos on Twitter, their profile picture has them wearing a mask.

[2231] Yeah.

[2232] Yeah, they're wearing two masks now.

[2233] Question, how often are we supposed to change out our mask?

[2234] Never.

[2235] They didn't tell us that.

[2236] That's how you'd build immunity.

[2237] You know, that funk in your mask.

[2238] Just live with it.

[2239] Yeah, like you're developing a culture of bacteria.

[2240] It's inside the mask.

[2241] That keeps you healthy.

[2242] How long is this mask shit going to last, man?

[2243] I don't know, but Fauci was saying that we're never going to shake hands again.

[2244] I'm like, bitch, I never stopped.

[2245] I never stopped shaking hands.

[2246] Yeah.

[2247] What are you talking about?

[2248] We're never going to shake hands again.

[2249] This is the same guy, by the way.

[2250] not to diminish his reputation as a doctor and a person of medicine because he is a brilliant guy but he was telling people in the 1980s that everybody was going to die of AIDS same guy that thought everyone was going to die from HIV back in the AIDS scare you know these people they always fear for the worst because historically there have been cases whether it's the black plague or Ebola there's been cases where a disease comes along that fucking kills everybody Do you want to hear some gross shit?

[2251] Yes.

[2252] My grandmother's pussy.

[2253] My grandmother's asshole.

[2254] You think her pussy's bad.

[2255] Yo, my stepfather just died of AIDS or something.

[2256] You still dying of AIDS?

[2257] Yeah, well, he did.

[2258] And the part I thought was gross about it was that they cremated a man and they threw his asses in the ocean.

[2259] And I just thought that was so nasty.

[2260] I was like, people were fished there.

[2261] Is that good enough to kill the AIDS virus?

[2262] Like, like, does it do, but this is, see, this is when my ignorance comes in.

[2263] I'm like, do those, do those, does that, does that, does that, do those ashes have AIDS on them?

[2264] Right.

[2265] How does that affect the beluga wells?

[2266] Right.

[2267] Would you get your age fish?

[2268] You're going to start, a AIDS, get your AIDS fish.

[2269] It already comes out for Lane.

[2270] Well, that's one of the things they found out about mad cow disease is that they would take the instrument, like, when people got mad cow disease, which is, called yuck the boophebs kutzfeld or kutzfeld whichever one it is who names?

[2271] I don't know I think it's probably two scientists but mad cow disease comes from something called preons and preons are it's like a thing that lives in your brain tissue and one of the things they found out was when they used instruments on people with mad cow disease and then they tried to cook the mad cow disease off like to sterilize it on these instruments it didn't work so they would have them in a thousand degree temperature for hours and the preons would stay alive which is fucking insane so like you could potentially develop this thing that doesn't die it's like an immortal an immortal disease right so if they're just cremating someone maybe that's not good enough for the AIDS virus maybe it's good enough for AIDS virus but not good enough for mad cow So if someone gets a mad cow and they barbecue them and fucking cremated them and then throw them in the ocean, then the fish could get mad cow or seals or walruses or maybe I'm a moron.

[2272] I'm just making shit up.

[2273] Well, I like your fake news over China's fake news.

[2274] Blood hole probes.

[2275] It's just is it that hard to figure out whether or not people have COVID with a nose swab?

[2276] Yeah, I was like what I did out there, just with the tickle of that.

[2277] Or accurate, probably.

[2278] Oh, what the asshole?

[2279] How much more accurate do we need?

[2280] Remember they were saying they were going to check, like, college dorms, the pipes to see.

[2281] They have been doing that.

[2282] Right, I mean, I didn't know you could even do that until COVID happened, so, like, maybe it's...

[2283] Yeah, that's how they find out if people have it.

[2284] They check the shit.

[2285] Remember how crazy people was?

[2286] Like, at the beginning of COVID, when people spraying down fucking their groceries and shit and cleaning them and stuff?

[2287] Oh, yeah.

[2288] People were wearing masks while they were driving.

[2289] Yeah.

[2290] I saw a guy wearing a mask driving yesterday.

[2291] Yeah.

[2292] Come on, son.

[2293] I was driving next to that, dude.

[2294] I'm like, you're a bum.

[2295] Like, you're a bum.

[2296] It's just a weird way to drive around with masks and a glove.

[2297] Like, does this how we want to live?

[2298] And it's like, okay.

[2299] How many people do you know that caught it?

[2300] Probably about like four people.

[2301] That's it?

[2302] Personally, yeah, like four people.

[2303] I know four people that caught it this week.

[2304] Really?

[2305] Yeah.

[2306] Oh, no, no, five.

[2307] Because Tony just got it.

[2308] Yeah.

[2309] Tony had it for one day.

[2310] Yeah.

[2311] He said, my back kind of hurt.

[2312] That's it.

[2313] He didn't even think he had it.

[2314] He came in to get tested.

[2315] And I'm like, you got it, you fuck.

[2316] Get in the corner.

[2317] You got it.

[2318] We have a dunce chair in the corner because the only people that have sat in it is Jamie and Tony.

[2319] Yeah.

[2320] And they've got the COVID.

[2321] As soon as Jamie came in, I'm like, get in that corner.

[2322] You got the COVID, son.

[2323] Man, I had to, when I had started, when I had started, like, doing those apartment shows and shit, people were at the like, well, I'm not going to, because people, that was a concern of people like, well, I'm not going to catch over this and this and that.

[2324] I have to tell people like, yo, I have.

[2325] already had it, you know, just so people it's over.

[2326] And I mean, I've deep washed my apartment.

[2327] Now, I come over here and stuff like that.

[2328] Now, now I had took, I actually took an antibody test.

[2329] Yeah, anybody test.

[2330] Fingertip.

[2331] Yeah, a girl, like, prick my fucking finger and shit.

[2332] And I didn't have any, I was cool.

[2333] And then right after that, maybe like a week later, I don't know if it was the COVID, but I came down with something crazy and I was real fucking weak and I was like sweating in bed but I can still taste shit well that doesn't mean you definitely lose your taste oh okay yeah you might have had it but here's the thing it's like regular colds is still around yeah of course you did you're healthy most healthy people are going to sail through this the people that I know that have gotten it every one of them like one of my friends she got it she was no sickness at all she didn't feel a thing Chappelle didn't have any symptoms.

[2334] My friend Rahim, no symptoms, no nothing.

[2335] But my friend C .K., he had it.

[2336] And he had apparently, I just talked to him.

[2337] He was six days in.

[2338] And he still has some symptoms.

[2339] How did they, did they take a test?

[2340] I'm like, oh, fuck, I got that shit.

[2341] Yeah.

[2342] You know, the Chappelle shows that we were doing out here, they all got shut down.

[2343] It was one of, someone that Dave knew outside of the show that was careless.

[2344] It had nothing to do with the show.

[2345] Had nothing to do with it.

[2346] Because we were testing the whole lot.

[2347] audience and we test all the performers and everyone was clean but someone had come in contact with some other people that had come in contact with Dave it was it was a careless person that had nothing to do with the performance and then a bunch of people got it and it's it spread through and they apparently I was supposed to be on the Friday show Friday and Saturday and then Thursday they were there to do the show and they canceled the show while the audience was seated the audience seceded the band was playing and uh i guess a bunch of people had tested positive and they had to shut the show down right here at stubbs yep right here at stubbs yeah that shit crazy man it's weird but what's weird is that none of them got any symptoms and it's so funny it's like i still don't even know if that was it you know right i felt like i i bet it was it huh i bet it was it but you won't be able to find out now like jamie you don't have antibodies anymore right oh you did oh you already had it?

[2348] Or did you take the vaccine?

[2349] Did you get tested yesterday for antibodies?

[2350] Yeah.

[2351] Okay, we had an antibody test that we did yesterday.

[2352] You taking that vaccine?

[2353] No. Yeah.

[2354] No, I just, I mean, I would if I felt like I needed it.

[2355] But I just, I just feel like if you maintain your health, and I think for some people, it's important.

[2356] I think for some people, it's good.

[2357] Are they going to, are they going to make people taking in order to go overseas?

[2358] I'm worried about that.

[2359] I don't like that.

[2360] I don't like needles.

[2361] That's my like, I don't like.

[2362] I don't like.

[2363] I don't also, I want to know how this, how people fare over X amount of months.

[2364] Like what happens in six months after the vaccine?

[2365] How long does it last for?

[2366] Do you need it again next year?

[2367] Didn't the chick faint on national TV for taking that my fucking vaccine?

[2368] Yeah, but apparently she faints whenever she gets a needle, which is hilarious.

[2369] They chose her.

[2370] Because that does happen.

[2371] I knew a girl who would see, she would see movies, a girl I was dating.

[2372] She would see a movie where a dude was shooting up and she'd flag out.

[2373] Faint.

[2374] In a movie theater, we went to the movies, and someone was shooting up.

[2375] up in the movie theater and she blacked out.

[2376] It's like, what that's happening here?

[2377] I remember when I was like 17 and I was walking down the street.

[2378] I was walking down the street and I saw a man doing heroin.

[2379] Whoa.

[2380] He was doing heroin.

[2381] There's an old junkie.

[2382] He was doing heroin.

[2383] And I just looked over and I just like, damn.

[2384] That's a crazy way to get hot.

[2385] And I just kept walking.

[2386] I was like, damn.

[2387] What's crazy is when they get to the point where they're shooting into the same vein over and over again and then they get gangrene.

[2388] Dude.

[2389] You know?

[2390] That's what happens.

[2391] That's what happened to Mitch Hedberg.

[2392] Mitch Hedberg was in the hospital at one point in time because he had been shooting into the same spot and he developed a horrible infection.

[2393] He still has one of my, probably my favorite joke of all time I've ever heard and it's so simple.

[2394] That motherfucker said, I don't got a girlfriend.

[2395] I just know a girl who'd be really mad if I said that.

[2396] I was like, perfect.

[2397] Perfect.

[2398] Well, he had just the...

[2399] Did you know him?

[2400] Yeah.

[2401] Not well.

[2402] Yeah.

[2403] I met him and hung out with him a little bit.

[2404] He was friends with Stanhope.

[2405] He was one of the best at non -sequiters because he could do a whole hour, but it was like one joke.

[2406] It had nothing to do with the next joke.

[2407] Had nothing to do with the next joke.

[2408] And he wrote constantly, constantly writing.

[2409] He was brilliant, man. He was just so unusual, too.

[2410] No one liked that guy, you know?

[2411] He was so unique.

[2412] And his tone, his, it was like a...

[2413] It was jazz.

[2414] I don't know, but I know a girl who'll be really mad if I said that.

[2415] Well, speaking to jazz, did you ever listen to the one album that he had where they played music in the background?

[2416] That was amazing.

[2417] That was amazing.

[2418] Brilliant fucking one -liners, bro.

[2419] Comedy, brother.

[2420] It's the best.

[2421] It unites us, brings us together, and it's bringing you to Austin, Texas.

[2422] Come on.

[2423] Only if you bring that punching machine, you know, I'm here, bro.

[2424] You got it.

[2425] You got it.

[2426] You got it.

[2427] Hey, brother, thank you very much.

[2428] Yo, man, thank you so much, Joe.

[2429] I really appreciate it, man. Always good to see you.

[2430] Great to see you again.

[2431] Yes, sir.

[2432] Thank you for bringing us out here.

[2433] My pleasure.

[2434] Tell everybody your Instagram, your Twitter.

[2435] Twitter doesn't work right now.

[2436] I got a new Twitter.

[2437] I got a new Twitter.

[2438] What's the new Twitter?

[2439] My new Twitter is Jamar Malachi, M -A -C -H -I.

[2440] And it says my unsuspended account.

[2441] And my Instagram is Jamar -U -N -Score Neighbors.

[2442] And I also have a YouTube channel, you know, uploading some podcasts, my damn self.

[2443] Support the dinosaur.

[2444] Got a podcast, got everything, hilarious, stand -up comments.

[2445] Thank you so much, I really appreciate you, man. Appreciate you.

[2446] Bye, everybody.

[2447] Bye, guys.